#helena: i dont know if i did the right thing

[vigilskeep]

something to be said for playing cotj and then immediately hitting some of the worst templar sidequests in the hinterlands

[celaenaeiln]

lol hi its me 12 am anon so uh tldr is that i hung out with my friend and we got drunk and we made out or smth but more importantly they made w fuckin list of dick grayson things i started talking abt while drunk

- “bad idea right?” but its dick grayson and his exes

- bruce technically gave dick a family but dick’s the one who like truly made it feel like a family when it comes down to it he’ll fuck up bruce for his siblings

- that one “5 man band” trope and how he can fit as the leader and the heart

- into a specific (blank) to lovers? dick grayson’s got you covered

- the “barney from how i met your mother basketball hoop scene” and “eleanor from the good place mom she never had” but make it dick and bruce (teenage or adult idc i’d love both)

- nightwing could 100% be the figurehead of the dceu (like im talking spiderman level) if dc would do something [this was timed . i talked abt this for like 30 minutes all on its own]

i am . so embarrassed. also i dont know if we made out before or after the rant and i dont know which is more embarrassing .

what. what. "more importan-" NO! NO ARE YOU KIDDING ME THAT IS NOT MORE IMPORTANTLY OH MY GOD!!!

MY MIND IS LITERALLY BREAKING RIGHT NOW!

WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THAT? Do you like her? Did she say anything?! I-

WAIT DOES THAT MEAN DICK GRAYSON LITERALLY GOT YOU TWO TOGETHER?!

NO WAIT!! SHE KISSED BACK. SHE KISSED BACK!

oh my god i'm reeling.

Have you guys talked about it yet?

I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS

I LITERALLY CAN'T THINK OF DICK GRAYSON RIGHT NOW AFTER THAT BOMB YOU DROPPED ON ME BUT FINE

"Bad idea right" was literally written for Dick Grayson!

Nightwing (1996) Issue #133

"Bad idea right?"

Actually every single Olivia Rodrigo's songs feels like Dick wrote it.

Like the sour album? Every time I listen to it I imagine that Dick just wrote the album because he was so mad at bruce after being fired from Robin lol.

"bruce technically gave dick a family but dick’s the one who like truly made it feel like a family when it comes down to it he’ll fuck up bruce for his siblings"

That's true too!

Batman (2011) Issue #11

"The truth is, I didn't save you from some dark fate, those years ago. You saved me from one."

Batman (2011) Issue #11

"And you still are saving me, every day."

Bruce gave Dick security but Dick gave Bruce a life. He gave Bruce the ability to become human, to be happy.

Take Gotham War for example,

Batman (2016) Issue #138

Bruce tells Jason he's saving Jason from himself and Jason in turn asks Bruce who's going to save Bruce from himself.

Cut immediately to -

Batman (2016) Issue #138

Dick.

Dick has always been there to pull Bruce out of his darkest days when he tries or is willing but Bruce giving up on Dick's ability to do so is symbolic of him giving up on himself. It's the height of Bruce's irredeemability.

Even after Jason died, Bruce indirectly called Dick to come join him but at this point his back up personality is too far gone for him to recover.

Batman: The Return

Dick literally is the reason Bruce stays connects to the batfamily. In a good way.

He has no reservations about keeping Bruce in check.

"that one “5 man band” trope and how he can fit as the leader and the heart"

5 man band trope: one leads, one contrasts, one thinks, one fights, and one keeps all of the above from killing one another

DAMN RIGHT

He's the leader.

Batman: Gotham Nights (2020) Issue #12

And the one that keeps them all together

Batman: Gotham Nights (2020) Issue #12

Dick is the defacto leader when Bruce is gone or lost it.

Batman (2016) Issue #137

Batman (2016) Issue #704

Batman (2016) Issue #704

"Selina doesn't run Gotham. You do. While I'm away."

And the family's protector.

Batman (2016) Issue #137

"into a specific (blank) to lovers? dick grayson’s got you covered"

Yup!

Canonical:

Childhood partner to lovers - Raya Vestri

Friends to lovers - Barbara Gordon

Enemies to lovers - Shawn Tsang

Psuedo-family to lovers - Helena Wayne (they actually married in Earth 2)

Crime fighting partner to lovers - Helena Bertenelli

Kiss at first sight to lovers - Koriand'r

Pseudo-therapist to lover - Bea Bennet

Landlord to lovers - Bridget Clancy

Teammates to lovers - Zatanna

X to lovers - literally him and everyone

He's just so shippable that way. Not gonna lie, literally all of his relationships Dick and his lover have been great together.

the “barney from how i met your mother basketball hoop scene” and “eleanor from the good place mom she never had” but make it dick and bruce (teenage or adult idc i’d love both)

The New Teen Titans Issue #50

Man this hits hard. I've never seen how I met your mother but the parallels in the basketball hoop scene and Dick's talk with Bruce are uncanny.

The thing I think is weird about Dick and Bruce's relationship is that it's steeped in insecurities for each other. Dick feels hurt and betrayed and lost as to why Bruce would take in a new robin so suddenly and Bruce's tenure as Dick's robin is riddled with insecurities about him not being a good enough partner.

Batman and Robin Eternal Issue #6

However it's because of these insecurities that I believe they are close.

The difference between Barney and his dad, from what I gather from the clip, is that his dad never acted like one to Barney.

But with Dick and Bruce? Bruce was a good dad to Dick. But he was a terrible partner. Bruce treated Dick like an equal while still fielding reservations about his age and dealing with his own insecurities. Bruce knows that what he's doing is not right but at the same time Dick is far too competent. His intelligence, his athletic skills, his compassion, and his fearlessness were light years beyond anyone Bruce had ever met and Bruce acklnowledges this.

Batman and Robin, The Boy Wonder Issue #2

"The GAS was supposed to knock his OUT. His brain out to be sailing past the MOON, right now. What's this brat MADE out of?"

Batman: The Widening Gyre Issue #1

Bruce's biggest problem with Dick is literally that he talks to much.

Dick is equal in every way to Batman and even exceeds him in some ways when he was Robin itself. So Bruce pushes the responsibilities of Batman's partner on to Dick while treating his as his son, mother, therapist, and partner. And Dick steps up to that. Soon they fall into a rhythm where Dick is Bruce's one for all human interaction. So imagine when you have a constant thing with someone that you're comfortable with and they suddenly start holding back from you. They begin talking about how you're too young to handle adult responsibilities. How you shouldn't be facing that burden. Now you're confused. Those responsibilities they are criticizing you for are the very ones that depended on you for. So now you start doubting yourself and trying harder and harder to make them see that you can handle the job. While you're struggling with confusion, they're struggling with guilt.

That is Bruce and Dick's relationship. Bruce grew a conscious after 10 years and Dick can't understand it. So there comes the self-blame and strife.

What Dick doesn't understand his Bruce feels guilty of his over reliance on Dick. Dick's self-blame has come to such a point that now even when Bruce in full honesty rants about how proud he is of Dick, Dick holds reservations because if Bruce was really proud then he would dump all the responsibilities on him right?

It's really messed up.

"nightwing could 100% be the figurehead of the dceu (like im talking spiderman level) if dc would do something [this was timed . i talked abt this for like 30 minutes all on its own]"

LOL

I think the Dawn of DC does have Dick be the figurehead or at least he will be in the future. We're just getting the beginning now.

Nightwing (2016) Issue #100

Nightwing (2016) Issue #100

Nightwing (2016) Issue #100

Nightwing (2016) Issue #100

"We want you to lead."

Justice League (2011) Issue #51

It comes full circle.

[to-my-emil]

luca's 2024 letter

so i did a whole analysis/explanation/infodump about luca's newest letter on my discord server and. figured i may as well post it here! theres a lot of fun tasty things in here and some confirmation of things that have been implied in previous letters which is fun to look at. please keep in mind i dont have the entirety of every character and manor game's lore memorized so while i did double check some things i mightve missed some stuff. anyway its all below the cut since its Long have fun :)

(also feel free to chime in with any thoughts/feelings/opinions/ideas!)

so theres three sections to this letter! im gonna go section by section, but some parts of the last section are mentioned earlier so uh. sorry if you havent read it yet (id recommend u do read it first)

so part 1 is pretty fun. luca is confirmed to have survived game 10 (which also features tracy, charles, and bonbon though we dont currently know who the fourth survivor participant is) And its implied that hes the only survivor of the game (according to the "fleeting victory" thats the assumption at least). his traits w being able to connect the ciphers is also officially tied into the lore here; there are in fact wires running underneath each arena (or at the very least whichever arena lucas game was in which we dont know yet iirc) so its canon that he can do what he does in matches and its not something that the detective incorrectly deduced lorewise (idk if any of the survivor abilities are Actually incorrect deductions/not actually things that theyre doing (like for example priestess's portals, etc that seem more far-fetched) but since we know hes done other things incorrectly (like "prisoner" and "psychologist" titles being in quotes/technically wrong) i figure he mightve gotten some of those wrong too). luca is also Super Fucked Up w an unusuable left arm (and his previous injuries which we know includes at Least severe brain trauma but likely physical trauma too considering his time in prison + the leg braces) so uhhhhhhhhhhh. my money is NOT on him for the next game.

which is the fun next thing to talk about: baron deross is making him do another game!! this confirms whats implied in emmas 2022 letter (she writes "I've won the previous round, for now" which implies a second round if not more), and probably means that helena and galatea would also go through another round even though its not confirmed yet. so far we dont have a record of what happens in any second manor game for a player who has won (as far as i remember); usually what happens is entire groups are eliminated before the game and the only survivor goes on to the next round to try again by default rather than having won the game (like murro and luchino). so far luca's second game is the only one we have ANY info about for a survivor whos won their first game; we know that alva is in it and its heavily implied ann is in it (we'll get to this later) so we'll likely find out what happens once we get either of their experiment letters. its also interesting that the baron seems to reveal more information about the experiments to luca after luca won his game, but its hard to know whether thats because luca is also a scientist or if he reveals that to everyone who wins. my guess is maybe the former bc u Know luca would have questions and theres also no mention of baron deross saying anything like that in emmas, galateas, or helenas letters.

on to section 2!!! (there was a slur against disabled people in the last line of this section so. thats whats blocked out)

OKAY SO. definitely confirmed that hes in a second manor game, its not even subtext its just right there. assuming the "mechanisms" refer to the same mechanisms that are running under the arena and connecting the cipher machines my guess is that this is what he used to shock other participants?? rather than just being to conduct electricity through himself like he does in the game?? idk thats just spaghetti at the wall its not clear here how he actually got shocked and why. it Is clear that he passed the fuck out at some point or another/his memory issues have gotten worse and the wiki points to that guy in his dream being hermann, so that's. interesting. theres an implication here that luca and hermann used to be closer, but once luca started w physics hermann went mmmm time to stop being a father. which. checks out knowing hermann. whats even more interesting is that luca calls hermanns ideas "ludicrous fantasies" that are neither idealistic nor realistic, because like luca you went and did THE EXACT SAME THING. BRO HE WORKED ON PERPETUAL MOTION. YOURE WORKING ON PERPETUAL MOTION. IM SORRY YOU CANT CLOWN ON UR DAD FOR RUINING HIS LIFE OVER PERPETUAL MOTION WHEN U DID LITERALLY THE EXACT SAME THING

anyway.

i do wonder if this is meant to imply that hermann was in fact actually working on a More ridiculous version of perpetual motion or if luca is just biased as hell against hermann. im banking on the latter there is no way in hell that luca is a reliable narrator considering all his memory issues + his general tendency to outright grab people hes mad at by the throat (<- fun fact we see this at least twice once in alvas backstory video and again in gattos backstory video. luca is the same across all timelines). also implications that hermann became an alcoholic. im guessing as a kid luca was told it was medicine and he hasnt put the pieces together?? or its ironic. idk could be either with him. i highly doubt its actually medicine. ALTHOUGH. theres an alternate explanation here; when luca says "swallow them down" i initially thought he was referring to hiding his "final feelings", since sometimes swallowing down feelings is a phrase used for that kind of thing. but potentially this could be implying that hermann had luca take some kind of medicine potentially to get rid of those feelings in some way?? personally i think its the former because we already know hermann was wasting his life and money so becoming an alcoholic would be an easy answer, but this is probably just because i dont have any answers if it were the latter. something to think about

now the third part, which gives us info about the next manor game!

so first the "gaunt old man" is (according to the wiki which i agree with in this case) mad eyes, which makes sense because mad eyes was involved in game 8/9 right before this and game 10 was filled with inventors + bonbon so it only makes sense he was there. no idea where he went though. whats more fun is that luca is now In The Fucking basement Walls where mad eyes used to be bc luca doesnt trust the rest of the participants. considering the "abnormal eyes" and that alva is here we know for sure that this is those related to the eye of darkness cult, which means ann is also definitely there. whats even more interesting is that this implies the existence of at least one more member of the eye of darkness cult whos going to be in this game; luca says "new participants" and "these people", and considering how specific the letters usually are with other things i would guess hed say "those two" if it were only ann and alva (of course its possible that theyre the only two have arrived at the writing of this journal, but considering he refers to a ritual coming up soon my money is on all the participants being of the cat cult except luca). luca makes a good note that this new game is likely the opposite of the previous and more focused on religion/spirituality which checks out w the participants, but DAMN hes an asshole about their writing style LMAO. sorry luca not everyone can have the same notes u do

the "brother in faith" guy here is alva, and i personally believe that he can in fact believe see through walls just bc thats funny as hell. just kidding its likely because luca is not as subtle he thinks he is because alva Literally Knows Him. other people might not be able to know hes there but like. that guys also a scientist. hed be able to figure out that theres someone in the walls AND he does in fact know luca. its difficult to tell bc of lucas memory issues but this probably also implies that alva looks very different from how he did in life (i doubt its as tall/etc as in his hunter form since thats what they all see when drugged not what he Actually looks like but im sure theres some stuff like his shorter hair/grayish skin/etc that carries across). i for one am fucking thrilled that theyre in a game together bc oh my god this is a time bomb and im just waiting to watch it explode (again).

as for the last line about a ritual... teehee. im very excited for whatever this is going to be and its killing me that this is the Only Information we have on it so far. likely we're going to have to wait for more alva and ann letters on this one, as well as whoever the third eye of darkness cult member is going to be, but i have no doubt that we'll have some more info eventually. if i had to take a guess its going to heavily affect how game 10-2/11 turns out; i highly doubt any ritual goes on without a sacrifice, and, well... theres only one guy here whos not already part of the cult. things are not looking great for lucas future.

[b3anieperson]

Hey everyone, this is Chapter 3 of The Letter, you can find chapters 1 and 2 here.

Warnings under the cut

Quick warning for this chapter, there are mature themes, (Yes I'm well aware that this is Fourth Wing of all things-), that may be triggering to some.

TW: Suicidal Ideation, Grieving

I don't sleep that night. I don't attend my classes, nor do I attend dinner. Hell, I wouldn't eat if it wasn't for Emek or Helena, or any of my foster siblings. Even though I did eat, I ate small, only a few bites until Emek was content that I'd eaten enough.

Lady Burnam doesn't check in, but I'm sure she knows, because I have yet to be reprimanded for skipping my studies.

All that goes through my head is Liam. I've read through my letter book six times in the last hour, skimming through the letters I've received from Liam years ago- some of the last times I had ever spoken to my brother.

Emek has been telling me what to expect- its all mainly information of what he's gotten from Xaden and Garrick- or some other rider. I'm slumped over my letter book, my hand tracing the frailed edges of the paper.

-so Xaden hit his head on the tree in the courtyard, he's okay, but Garrick and I won't stop making fun of him.

Duke Lindell is making us all go to the Reunification Festival. We have to put on these stuffy shirts, like the ones Mom used to put us in when we'd go to dinner, do you remember those? Yeah, they're a lot like those.

I wish you could come to this one, but I don't think Lady Burnam would be willing to send us all together again. I miss you, and I'll try to ask Duke Lindell if I can get a wagon to go and see you by your birthday, gods, fifteen already, you've grown up.

Did you finally cut your hair? I know Eya was pestering you about it- you know you don't have to, I know how much you love your long hair.

I don't have much more of a letter to write, but I'll expect one back soon Sloane, I love you.

-Liam

My heart drops as it reaches the end, like it's done with every letter, like it's the last time he said goodbye. But I didn't get that. I wont ever get that.

I flip several pages and find another letter, it's from Liam. I don't know when my mind decided that it would be much more useful to pocket where my brothers letters were in the book, but it did, and I couldn't be happier.

Dear Sloane,

How are you holding up? Are you still having the nightmares you had in the cart? If you are, Garrick said Eya (I'm pretty sure that's the oldest with you, right?) Anyways, he said she knew a thing or two about getting rest, what remedies to take and whatnot.

Is your town celebrating that Navarre won the war too? There's fireworks every night here in Trivainne, and though Xaden won't admit it, I know he's not sleeping well.

Just remember that you are strong, and you're gonna be okay. I promise. I'm still here, even if Mom and Dad aren't, I'm still your big brother, and you can always talk to me.

I love you so much, Sloane. Please don't forget that and do something stupid. I love you.

-Liam

'-dont forget that and do something stupid.' I scoff. Garrick and Imogen had told me the exact same thing. I want to do the stupidest thing. I want to see Liam again.

My heart pains again, and I close the book and curl up on my side, pulling the blanket over my shoulder. It all hurts. Everything. I don't think I'll ever not hurt. To think that the aches of losing Mom and Dad just started to go away.

My eyes feel heavy, and even though I know I'll only have a nightmare, at least it's bound to be about Liam. Gods, Liam. He won't be there when I cross the Parapet. He won't be there to cheer me on as I land in the flight field at Threshing.

Fuck it. I swing my legs out to the side of the bed and shove my feet into my slippers. I make the thirty feet to the door feel like it's a hundred. I push, and it gives way.

Drinn sits in the hallway, and his eyes meet mine, "Hey Sloane, are you alright?" I nod. He doesn't push, and he brings his knees to his chest as I walk past.

I make my way down the steps and across the giant commons room, and to the glass door that leads outside. The courtyard isn't nearly as large as Aretia's was, but Trinitham House has the same structure as Riorson House. East Elsum was much more different from Tyrrendor, a whole new terrain.

Walking a ways down the road, I sit down on the swing Eya and Emek set up 3 years ago for Bryn and Kahla.

We used to have a swing like this, my dad would sit me on his knee and read me a book while my mom and Liam would grab apples from the tree to use for target practice.

I stand and look at the rope that hangs from the tree that we used to dive into the pond, we just replaced it last year, it's sturdy.

I twirl the rope in my fingers while I think.

This is the only way I can see any of them again.

Mom, Dad, Liam, Fen Riorson, Mrs. Cardulo, any of them, I will give anything to see them again.

I twirl the rope once, and make a simple but sturdy slip knot. Mom taught me how to stitch, that's one thing I'll thank her for when I see her.

I step back, and breathe. My hands are shaking heavily, but I don't care, I need to see them again. My family.

Please, Malek, take me, take me like you took them.

How did this even happen? He was so fucking strong. Xaden said Deigh was strong. How does Liam Jamison Mairi die, and his dragon, a fucking dragon, die?

More importantly, how does breakable, tiny, daughter-of-a-murderous-psychopath Sorrengail, live? Or live so she could see my brother die, then get conveniently stabbed.

Fuck I swear if she lives and I see her I'll fucking stab her right then and there, no question no contest. My brother did not die for her sorry ass.

I drop the rope, and I wipe the tears that have been streaming down my face.

I will not see Liam again, until I see the face of the reason he died. If she lives. If she doesn't, well, running at first formation is always a second option.

[windamp]

okay okay um! cooking headcanons go

hmhm okay, you didnt give me a fandom though sooooooo

bat people since im currently reading a bat fic (if you want another fandom lmk)

alfred - obv can cook very well, but i imagine he does have a british bent so if you asked for a british dish it fucks hard but if you asked for like fideuà it would be pretty okay but your grandma's is better. he enjoys doing it.

bruce - can cook but it's very basic and bland. hates doing it for himself but would be pleased to be asked. i cant imagine him giving a shit about seasonings if he is doing it for himself but if he tried for someone else he'd be like oh this is well seasoned :) but it's just like. mid. he thinks its great though.

dick - can cook. i think it's occasionally smth he really enjoys, but not all the time. loves doing it for other people. i don't think he's that adventurous though. probably has a set of around 5ish really fantastic dishes to pull out for special times. if he likes you he Will Learn your favorite dish and try his hardest with it

jason - can cook, actually does like it a lot, likes to experiment. i think he has read salt fat acid heat and can improv easily bc he actually understands the basics super well. i think he has a preference for simpler foods, just based on his priorities, but he will bust out something complex ever so often

tim - can cook but hates it so much. if you ask him he'll be like okay :) (disgruntled). he tends towards basic things like chicken breast + rice. will not experiment. tends to be weirdly spiced bc he did it for himself too much and it's morphed into something tim-specific. prefers to just get take out or frozen shit.

steph - college strudent level cooking. she's gotta have that recipe Right There or Else. she can cook the basics w/o that and it be good though. i think her baking probably slaps. she had an easy bake as a kid and i know it (90s girl in the burbs? please she had to have). doesnt really like cooking but doesnt hate it. give her a few years and she'll have a mastered set of good dishes like dick.

cass - cannot cook but learning. i think she would be good at it, provided hands on training. messy af tho, her clean up takes a while but she doesnt mind. i think she would be like bruce in that for herself cooking is a pain and not smth she'd do but if someone were hungry she would like to feed them some real good food & would prefer to learn everyone's favorites and go from there

damien - can cook, doesn't really enjoy it but it is good. i imagine as he gets older he might develop more of an appreciation and experiment. would get really pissy if asked currently but also brag. regardless i think he would enjoy it and have fun as an adult

babs - can cook and is good. can improvise in small amounts. and a tangent- i am also physically disabled and i know sometimes cooking...it's just like. a whole fucking Thing even if you've adapated as much as you can. so i imagine babs is similar and sometimes the process is just. overwhelming and annoying. there are other times she really enjoys it though, it just depends on how things are going.

duke - can cook but i dont think he actually thinks about it all that much. it's mainly a rotation of dishes he knows well. it's good, but like. he isnt giving it much thought. a chore, if you will, autopilotesque. as he gets older i can see him being very invested if it's for someone else and going on to experiment but maintaining a non-attitude towards doing it for himself.

kate - extremely practical about it. very much like bruce in that she doesnt really like it, but her seasoning is much better. has one banger dish she pulls out for special occasions. i think as she's gotten older she's become more comfortable with it, but it's never gonna be a top priority

helena - extremely good imo. i cant imagine she didnt push herself w/ cooking. was surprised at how much she liked it at first but cooking is v enjoyable. loves to experiment, loves to learn new things, i think her wheelhouse is the sheer variety of things she likes and is willing to do

jean paul valley - you see his grad major?...he cant cook /jk jk im sorry i know yall can cook. but i dont feel like he specifically has a good handle on it. okay with like. basic pasta and jarred sauce. dont ask more of him than that. he would not want to do more than that. give him insta ramen anyday. he would not burn down the kitchen or anything but would be stressed af

if i forgot someone lo siento i think this is a good spread

[thisdreamplace]

I don’t know if this is the right place to ask this, but I need advice if that’s okay😭 I’ve been keeping up with your account since I think autumn of 2021 ? Since one of my old tumblr accounts.

So a few months ago in Late July/early August was when everything within me crashed in regard to manifesting/spirituality. I’ve been on this journey since July 2018, so I’m not new but I’ve never really had any success. In Late July I started to research the history behind many popular figures in the community. (Like the fraud behind Abraham Hicks & her husband who was a distributor for the MLM Amway) It all just made me feel so defeated.

A lot of people say manifesting is rooted in Hinduism, but Hindus don’t practice any of this. If they do practice it, it’s because they practice the whole new age movement as a whole which at that point they’re just doing a hodgepodge nonsense mix of everything.

There really is no place for any of this anywhere…

I did research on Helena Blavatsky and how she basically gave birth to the new age movement, and how she is where the “Hindus practice LOA” comes from, as well as the modern day concept of Karma. She did it by misinterpreting texts from religions and plagiarizing from her favorite fiction books. Just learning that alone crushed EVERYTHING in me. Like I felt so emptied out in such a bad way.

But this is where truly everything crashed for me: I know a lot of people say Neville Goddard isn’t new age and I agree, but his work (and the new age movement) is branching off of the New Thought movement , and The New Thought Movement was a progression of the religion Christian Science. There’s this woman called Mary Baker Eddy, and she founded the religion “Christian Science”, and in that religion they believed that the body is an illusion as well as the senses (basically non-dual teachings), and that they are all made of perfect love. But they called sickness, disease, etc. an “error”. Instead of calling something lack, they said it was error. They did mental diets and refused medication, obviously their faith didn’t heal them and there are so many deaths. it was the fastest growing religion at some point and now its almost completely dead.

here are some quotes from Mary Baker Eddy:

- “Hold thought steadfastly to the enduring, the good, and the true, and you will bring these into your experience proportionately to their occupcany of your thoughts.”

- “There is no life, truth, intelligence, nor substance in matter. All is infinite Mind, and its infinite manifestation, for God is All in All. Spirit is immortal Truth; Matter is mortal error.”

so like.. it sounds right doesn’t it? it sounds like what we would hear in the manifestation community and that scares me because why didn’t we learn from the massive flop that her religion was? She was secretly physically ill herself and even ran away to another state to escape all the troubles that the teachings were causing. I feel so upset.

People have died from extreme living in the end and there are still some people dying. And so it’s like: where do I go from here now??

oOooOoo this is a fun one uwu

tbh with you, its a VERY interesting take that you have here! like wow you really did your research but for what exactly? to prove to yourself why you never succeed? in (almost) every major religion, there has been evil, blood, death, etc. throughout history but all because theyre highly recognized across societies you would call them successful? i cant agree with that personally by the looks of it lol

i think that the thing is that i dont really care, personally, about any of these people you mentioned. even neville, god bless his heart, did a lot for my understanding of this journey but hes not my god. you put so much into these people and yet, it seems youve left nothing for yourself.

why does it matter what mary baker eddy said and did? do you want to live her lifestyle? follow her path? or would you rather create your own? i dont feel impacted by any of these stories youve shared, because ive already created my own path and been my own proof. i dont need them to validate my way of my life. ive made it myself.

actually, if you found something that relates to you, you could use it but drop the rest if you so see fit. this journey is much more personal than any religion and its followers ever make us seem to feel. because its not a religion we’re dealing with, its an outlook. and while its sad so many people were affected negatively (and actually continue to be affected in this community) doesnt mean the teachings have no basis. unfortunately, there will always be those who prey on the desperate, which is why ive tried hard to be very honest and real in my blog to help those who feel lost.

i guess because you didnt find success you wanted proof that these ideologies are ridden with failure and theres some dark, spooky past but for me it doesnt matter because you find that anywhere. even the “great” religions of today are riddled with gruesome pasts.

so at the end of it all, what are you left with? the same exact thing you began with. yourself, and how you want to show up in the world and what you want to believe about it, and about yourself. thats truly all it comes down to. not what anyone else said. but what you say.

so what do you say? do you ever listen to yourself enough, sit in the silence of meditation enough to hear exactly what your heart is telling you is the truth?

if not, thats where you go from here now :) go back to self, and stop looking for reasons why you cant and why not and etc etc and just start with, and end with yourself. because you were the only one who ever mattered in the achievement of your dreams 🫧

[littleclownopinions]

The romanticisation within 'The suicide of Rachel Foster'

Content/trigger warnings: Suicide, Paedophilia, Grooming, Murder

So, for those who don't know, 'The Suicide of Rachel Foster' is a walking sim, released in 2019, about the player character, Nicole, exploring her family's old hotel and discovering the truth about her father Leonard's affair with titular character Rachel Foster. I'll give the basic run down of the game and then I wanna talk about the glaring issues and honestly the potential I think the game had. Feel free to skip the recap if you already know what happens.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

RECAP: After the death of both her parents, Nicole returns to 'The Timberline', to audit and sell the building at the request of her late mother, Claire. Upon arriving, she ventures upstairs to her family's old apartment within the hotel and enters her childhood bedroom, which is when an old radiotelephone starts ringing. Nicole picks up and the man on the other end introduces himself as Irving Crawford from the "Helena Federal Emergency Management Agency." He claims the family lawyer informed them of her visit to the old hotel and he has been instructed to assist her with her stay. Nicole wants to leave but the weather prevents this and she is forced to go through with the audit, staying till the weather clears up. Things get kind of complicated from here, so I'm going to explain the following as best as I can.

Rachel Foster was a 16 year old girl who struggled with dyslexia. She began tutoring lessons with Leonard but he proceeded to take advantage of the young girl, grooming her into a relationship with him. When Rachel became pregnant, the "affair" was exposed and Claire killed Rachel, framing it as a suicide. She split from Leonard and took Nicole away from the hotel, blaming Rachel for "tearing the family apart". Eventually the guilt caught up to Claire and she committed suicide. Leonard tried to move on with his life but eventually he too committed suicide because the community of Helena didn't accept him or what he did. Womp womp, am I right? Now in the present, Nicole was uncovering the truth of how Rachel actually died, and the full extent of the "affair". Eventually, Irving admits he is Rachel's younger brother. He was inside the hotel with Nicole the whole time, making sure she found everything she needed to reveal the truth of what happened to his sister. Once Nicole discovers the truth, Irving leaves the hotel and commits suicide so he can be reunited with his sister. Nicole then, would you believe it, also commits suicide to be reunited with what I think I'm correct in interpreting as not only her parents, but Rachel and Irving too? Idfk man..

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, the glaringly obvious issue with this game's story is the romanticisation and glorification of paedophilia and suicide. Not a single main character has an issue with the grooming, the age gap or the power dynamic between Leonard and Rachel. And yes, that includes Irving too somehow. They all justify it with excuses amounting to the equivalent of "well, Rachel was really mature for her age". Now, I will point out that the paedophilia is not completely ignored, but it's brushed past almost entirely. Nicole finds hate mail Leonard received calling him a paedophile and there is some graffiti in the hotel calling him a pig. However, every single important character seems to have zero issue with it which is obviously a massive issue. I mean, Claire literally murders Rachel instead of, i dont know, reporting her husband to the police? And I honestly don't even know where to start with the suicides, especially Irving's and Nicole's. Both of them committing suicide to be "reunited" with their loved ones is such a dangerous representation of mental health struggles and a gross romanticisation of the topic I'm left really wondering what the message of the game was supposed to be.

What really frustrates me about this game is the potential I think it had to be something great. Visually the game is stunning, the sound design is great, the lighting is beautiful and I think the core concept of the story was something that could've worked really well. A women returns to her family's hotel after 10 years simply to assess the building so it can be sold. Unbeknownst to her, she was about to uncover some dark truths about her family's history and her parents divorce. Pretty good, right? I mean, it's nothing revolutionary but it's the kind of story that fits a walking sim pretty perfectly. But goddamn this story was done so wrong..

This game should've been about Nicole Slowly realising she was gaslit and manipulated by her father to believe that the "relationship" he had was okay. It should've allowed her the space to look back on her father and see him for what he was instead of continuously through rose tinted glasses. It should've been about Rachel's death being done justice and Irving finally being able to move on with his life. It should've given Irving closure and allowed him to begin the process of healing after everything. Instead it was just a lousy, pathetic attempt at telling a story that, i hope accidentally, excused grooming and romanticised suicide for what I genuinely think was nothing more than having this weirdly consistent ending to every character's story.

Here's the thing, I don't think the creators of this game are genuinely trying to tell the player that paedophilia is okay and that, if they're struggling, the answer is just suicide. I can only assume the people making this game, at least writing the story, were trying to create the Lolita of gaming and failed miserably because the topics they were addressing were just too complicated for them to do justice to. Overall this game is like biting into a beautifully decorated cupcake only to realise it was made of foam and acrylic paint. Don't let the visuals and the atmosphere trick you into thinking this is a game even slightly worth your time or money to play. Regardless of the intentions behind it, this is an incredibly insensitive, heartless and honestly downright stupid story that feels like a real slap in the face to anyone who gave the time to play or watch it. Spend your money one something better and more worthwhile, kids!

[jils-things]

HIHIII FOR THE S/I ASK GAME. 3, 9, 15, and 16 FOR AINE OR IRENE? THANK YOU 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

NAUR I GOT EXCITED CUZ THIS IS AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT SET OF OCS OMG YES. THANK YOU. DOING BOTH BECAUSE YES..

3. how do the other characters generally feel about your self insert?

i dont think many would actually know aine's... present because she's holed up in her house for so long... probably her relatives only know about her existence wiwiwi but! she's generally very shy and quiet, not very used to talking to others! but she tries her best to be sweet :3

irene is ... probably envied by many people! i mean she's part of a prestigious family and she's very pretty! she's not like most women of her age who can be pretty uptight (at least i think so...) - she's very humble about her wealth and doesnt go out of her way to shove how fortunate she is... its all because of her old past that she's very gentle and considerate :3

9. who are your self insert’s closest friends?

unfortunately as i've said earlier, poor baby aine doesnt have much friends, but she's very, very close and trusting of her gallade who acts as her best friend and guardian no matter where she is. she always finds comfort in gallade. but if i had to pick one person who would be her close friend, it would be erika - i think she'd help aine be more relaxed and less nervous about herself and sleepy times together LAFDKSLKFSKA. i wanna plug blake into the story as well, i can totally see him to be a big brother to aine and i picture blake to be more friendly! aine needs nice company, she needs it for sure ;; softcore version of color pallet trio . cold pallet trio if you will. bye

right off the bat, i just told myself "yes irene and emma are best friends" emma probably provides the best chamomile and irene looooves tea. they bond over that heheheh. maybe helena and tracy too! i have such soft spots for them and i really like them! irene definitely doesnt like nobles that much (i excuse reynold however. eheh). i would include naib, but i dont think it would work out? im just biased wiwiwi

15. how does your self insert play a role in the plot of the story? do they help directly defeat the villain, support the heroes, etc.?

AINE STOPS THE ACTUAL FROSTBITE. THAT IS ALL. IM TOO SHY TO TALK ABT ***VELVETSHIPPING HERE IM SORRY WHDASDSAHJFHJFSASF </3333 he stops caring about trying hard for himself to be stronger and helps aine out instead and feels that she deserves better and focuses on that <3

irene umm,, gives him,,, the love and care he lacked as a kid,, wiwiiw,,, she takes him in after the explosion and nurses him to health and they confess they like each other and they promise to figure things out from there and shes dead serious about taking him into a better place because he's gone too far to make ends meet WEEWEFGGFGF MY BRAIN IM (BLEATS PATHERTICALLY)

16. freebie! name a fact about your self insert you want everyone to know.

aine has two "endings" on what happens when she sees him. one is the happy route where, yk, they get along, yadda yadda, romance, bonding, all that jazz. the second ending is... a little more unfortunate. basically she was a bit too late, because he's frostbitten now, and she regrets leaving her home and will probably stay at home more often now because the world is much more terrifying than she suspected. poor girl

irene is made with the purpose of wanting to ship with someone in the game yes - but the plot twist was that i was not actually crushing on no.rton at the time (he was just a fav) but found him to be a cute match with irene and i did just that. and then my dumbass fell for him shortly after HSAJKFHJAFHSFJSA im so doopid woawwww....

[xo8ball]

OK OK OK FAVR SONG FROM EVERY FOB/MCR ALBUM (if I listed MV's too I'd be here all day :] )

FOB

TTTYG: Dead on Arrival (my grandpa likes this one so I like it too!!)

FUTCT:Dark Alley, or Get Busy Living!!

IOH: I'm Like a Lawyer, or G.I.N.A.S.F.S!!

Folie á Deux: Headfirst Slide, 27, or West Coast Smoker!

SRAR:,,,the entire album,,,

AB/AP: ...the entire album is such a fucking banger

MANIA: The Last of the Real Ones, HOLD ME TIGHT OR DONT, Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea

SM(F)S: THE ENTIRE ALBUM IS SUCH A FUCKING BANGERRRR AUGH

MCR

Bullets: Honey, This Mirror isnt big enough for the both of us, Our Lady of Sorrows, and vampires will never hurt you!!

Three Cheers:The Ghost of You, To The End, It's not a fashion statement, it's a deathwish (it's not on the actual thing but I love Desert Song)

Black Parade:This Is How I dissapear, Dead!, Mama

DD:TLOTFK: EVERY SINGLE SONG ON HERE FUCKS.

Conventional Weapons: Boy Division, Tommorows Money, The World is Ugly, AMBULANCE

Black Parade/Living With Ghosts:All The Angels, Emily, Not That Kind of Girl!!

(Sorry if this list is kinda long, I'm just normal about these albums :]]] )

you're on tumblr who is normal here :3 (positive)

granpa has taste me thinks!!!!! AND I GETTT ITT its so hard choosing from srar and abap theyre INSANELY cool <3 SMFS MY BELOVED THEY DID DROP A BOMB LIKE THAT AND PRETEND I WAS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT. NO IM NOT I'M BETTER THAN EVER

for mcr, YES desert song deserves that spot from here to the moon (and from the earth to the morgue) ALL THE ANGELS AND EMILY MY ULTRA BELOVEDDDDSSS <3 love that living with ghosts is there you just get it buddy

nows my turn heehaaa!

fob

tttyg : postcards specially has my whole heart, sounds so... TEENAGER. special mentions to : saturday, chicago, dead on arrival, and calm before the storm

futct : i definitely have a fave and it's XO can you see.... but as corny as it is, i love dance dance, and also nobody puts baby, 7 minutes, snitches and talkers, music or misery, and get busy! never gets old :]

ioh : SO HARD BECAUSE ITS BANGER AFTER BANGER ..... defo hum hallelujah because i love her so bad! golden too, carpal tunnel, fame > infamy, youre crashing, ive got this ringing, after life of the party and dont you know who i think i am :3 (DID I LIST ALL OF THEM IDK... LOL LMAO)

FOLIE... you cabt do this to meeee..... literally cant stop listening to the whole album its all good! but top top top Mega Top faves are headfirst slide, suitehearts, 27, what a catch, shipped gold standard and disloyal order, but cant pity 13 queens against eachother<3

ON SRAR ITS SO BAD FOR ME its really good but the mighty fall wins by far it just does it for me. ALSO I REALLY LIKE THEM ALL but tmf.. shes special

abap is crazy good and twin skeletons will always kill me as uma thurman dances on my dead body. cant choose too much, Novocaine, 4th of july and jet pack blues also are very <3 IRRESISTIBLE WINS MV CATEGORY HERE first time i saw it i almost frew up from laughing its so good for my humor

mania will be forever my close to first fave post hiatus! wilson expensive mistakes GETS IT and also sunshine riptide <3

on a special note : believers never die! dear future self and from now on we are enemies are ingrained so bad in me <3

for the newest addition in the family, smfs is a good album back to back! so good right now, i am my own muse, flu game, what a time to be alive and the title track are the ones i find myself singing the most, but i do like every single one!!

Well that's a lot! now for the vampires :3

bullets : this one album hits close! but early sunsets made a home in me, as well as drowning lessons, headfirst for halos, skylines and turnstiles and well demolovers too because!!

revenge : BOMB album will say that. every single song is SO good<3 i never told you will always be mine mine and forever mine! but i really like every single song in there, jetset life is good too, helena and ghost of you also win! oh no THEYRE ALL GOOD also best demo is i never told you. "covered in blood and piss" forever.

tbp is my second favorite album ever, the theatrics, the feeling, the instrumentality....... <3 i dont love you, the sharpest lives, mama and sleep go by far to be my adored most repeated ones, but cant really choose! mcr you put a curse on me

dd is AMAZING the comics are CRAZY GOOD it was the FIRST INTRODUCTION I HAD TO MCR whatever so cool so dancey so party <3 SING IS MY BABY GIRL NOBODY TOUCH HER everynyan hates her but i love her. save yourself, destroya, scarecrow are soooo good too.......... my baby girls

conwep IS MY girl she gets me. gun is the only one i dislike as i said but mdhfjejemwnwb <3333 so much love to her <33333 ambulance, surrender the night, burn bright, kiss the ring and make room! my babies

living w ghosts KILL ALL YOUR FRIENDS FOREVER <3 emily, my way thru home is you and all the angels get it<3

mention to foundations because i still cant heal and cope I LOVE FOUNDATIONS REALLY REALLY BADDDDDD SO MUCH WO M7CH IM SO PUMPED UP FOR MCR5 <3

oh thats longer now. OKAY ALRIGHT drop me your fave era or looks :3

[puppetmaster13u]

 Lol, yeah it is getting… very long lol. Was gonna ask if you wanted to split to a new post but you beat me to it. 

 Pfft, people are gossiping about Wayne making a 17 year old CEO, while the people in other companies that have to meet with Wayne Enterprises are sobbing in relief. No you don’t understand that kid is the only normal person in the entire company- even if they’re not exactly right lmao. Let them live in denial. 

 Gosh I feel bad for Young Justice (not lol) the first time Tim (probably in a narcolepsy and insomnia-fueled rush) brings one of the living snacks to the mountain. Oh hey Robin is back! With a lobster in his hand? And some prawns but they’re more focused on the lobster- oh god he just bit its head off- And poor Tim has no clue what they’re freaking out about in his sleep-deprived haze. Oh, did they want one? (NO ROB WE REALLY DONT- Kaldur confiscates the bucket of live prawns and hugs them to his chest looking traumatized) 

 Oh you’re so right with Gotham knowing not to do big parties on Outsider holidays because of things like Calender Man lol. Bet the Outsider Galas include one for celebrating the GCPD (really how much they weeded out corrupted officers) and a simple spring one. Definitely an aquarium one that officially is to raise awareness for marine life, but everyone in Gotham knows it’s just an excuse to terrify Outsiders lol. I love the idea of most of the rogues being chill after a while. Like it’s an unspoken thing that they know who the Bats are- Harley went to medical school with Bruce! Harvey and him were childhood friends! He grew up seeing Cobblepot at galas before his parents death. They all know to play nice during these. Mostly. They’re still rogues & terrorize people but it’s Gotham, it’s like enrichment in their opinion. Except Joker. No one likes him. Or them. Depends on if it’s the continuity of there being three jokers or just one. 

 Helena is just a lil baby, she just took a lil nibble! Bruce rolls his eyes at everyone freaking out because really, it’s just a bite. Practically a paper cut, calm down. 

 Oh my god victorian-style punk, that’d be so popular in Gotham you’re right. It’s a mishmash of victorian, modern, 70s, 30s, 90s, practically every time period in the city, mixed or not. You think Discowing came out of nowhere? No people still dress like that and it always confuses visitors. You’d think everyone would be wearing drab and gray clothes but no. There’s so much color during the day. 

 You’re so right about Bruce having a wedding painting. They even used glow in the dark and reflective paint so if you shine a flashlight at it the eyes flash back, a rather common thing in Gotham to visitors’ horror. It almost looks like a fae or siren painting, their hair shimmering around them and bits of skin glittering with scales and finery if you look closely. Honestly the painting industry in Gotham is going so strong lol. 

 @midavalanche asked about things like plumbers and the types of jobs that require a lot of water around you. And @rulerofdumbassery is right with the full coverage near hazmat idea lol. Outsiders think it’s because of how toxic Gotham waters are, along with the fact the city is canonically full of lead still, but no it’s so they don’t use their legs lol. Y’all are also correct on water being an import. Gotham surprisingly doesn’t have a lot of imports, which people don’t realize because by all logic the city shouldn’t be able to support itself. Should be doesn’t take in aquatic curses that start taking hold the moment you see the city as Home. But Gothamites can drink water without changing (as long as they don’t spill). They might have hints of their other form from it- maybe ears a hint too pointed or sharp canines out or eye shine particular bright- but otherwise it’d be like them changing from the water inside them. And humans are like, 60% water. Lungs alone consist of about 83% water to flesh ratio. Dishwashing and other jobs definitely use long gloves and it’s habit for everyone to check for tears or damage- most people assume it's from all the rogues with chemical weapons but no they’d be pretty wrong lol. 

 Random unrelated thing but I think Gotham arts & crafts includes creating mini grotesques & gargoyles as good luck charms. Bruce has an entire cabinet of ones from his kids that they’re honestly embarrassed about because it includes their first attempts but he loves them. 

OH! Pfft, poor Dick when he first moves in with Bruce & is fostered, because I bet it’d totally slip their mind to tell the kid about the curse because it’s been in effect for like, at least a year at that point and no longer registers as something strange per se. There’s more pressing things at the time. Bruce gets woken up at 4am by 9 year old Dick running into his room freaking out while waving a scale-speckled arm because he spilled water. (Yes he knows Bruce told him to use bottled water but that’s so much work!) 

 Oh poor single dad Bruce when his kids are developing their fangs and adult canines and they’re using him as a chew toy. OH MY GOD! JASON’S DEATH! JUST REALIZED! Bruce is in good standing and in a good relationship with the League. Or at least in contact enough with them thanks to the Curse and the Al Ghuls canonically having had magic users in their bloodline. (We also have canon comic panels of Ras telling Bruce he grieved for Jason’s death as well) I bet Talia informs him like, not exactly immediately, but once she’s gotten Jason’s brain damage and other things healed via the Pit. The fact that Jason sees all that he was buried with, the unspoken love and grief that is there definitely helps with his anger. But I bet they at least called or video called while he was with the League while he was figuring out how to deal with the Pit Rage. Because that shit is a chronic condition, it doesn’t just… go away. It’s part of him now, and he has to learn how to live with it- but is that not what grief is? 

 Ras sending assassins after Bruce’s allies: If he’s not going to join my League and makes his own I must make sure they’re worthy of his time! I’ve even ordered the Shadows not to kill! It’s only some slight maiming attempts, I don’t see what the problem with that is! (Meanwhile Selina & Talia on a date: Hm I feel like something has happened…) 

Edit: I found something that has some Gotham fashion vibes here on tumblr lol

@puppetmaster13u

It was getting too long so...

Okay this was VERY long but I love it all. So much food, and very much alive when possible. And yeah they're very much venomous.

... oh gods you're making me hungry for food that isn't even safe even if it existed 😂

Also, I feel like Ivy's plants would, ah, sometimes move if they don't like where they're currently planted. If your neighbor is taking better care of your flowers then you might wake up and see them over there, you just learn to deal. 😅

Ooooo I love that. And I feel like, to Aquaman, it would be like speaking in Pig Latin + Esperanto mixed with the heaviest Scottish accent ever. He can tell it's words, but he can't really understand it.

Also, Bruce singing lullabies to the kids, just imagine. Jason or Dick or anyone shows up having a panic attack and Bruce starts calming them down. First in English, then aquatic, and slowly morphing into a lullaby.

Oh definitely, those other heroes will be struggling. Almost feel bad for them.

The medical professionals must be paid well, and Gotham University probably ends up with a very heavy metal degree that most people might assume is for vets not human doctors. 😂

Oh my gods Helena yes. Poor Supes, and I love the JL freaking out. Also, her bottle HAS to be a little pink, because of the blood that's probably in it. Also, I imagine they're born with weak venom, and drinking their parents' blood lets them process and produce stronger toxins.

I bet Dick and the other kids probably have the same weird food habits and their teammates aren't really sure what they're supposed to do. Sometimes Tim will fall asleep in the middle of lunch and whoever is in the same room will get to see his lunch run away. Probably a bit unnerving. 🤣

I like the idea they might do them for 'major holidays'. Not on the holiday, because Calendar Man (on the holidays is Gotham only, they fully expect him to show up, he's practically invited without saying anything outright), and that's the Outsider Galas. Not just one a year, but not like 20 of em either.

And yeah, aside from runaway food, Tim is pretty good with outsiders. He probably wouldn't eat 'normal' (normal for Gotham anyway) around his team if he didn't trust em or something either. This is probably another reason Bruce made him CEO. 😅

Yesss uncanny valley please. Everyone is freaking out internally, and yet at the same time they can tell they're safe... for now. Servers doing their job, and Gothamites not revealing anything, unless someone does something wrong.

Yesss the rogues. Honestly I just want an AU where the rogues are basically family.

||=====||=====||

"Oh yeah that's aunts Harley and Ivy, they can be fun but don't drink the wine."

Then (controversial I know but also heavily depends on the AU)

"That's Uncle J, we're on tense terms with him but he's got the best drinks if you don't mind letting a bit."

Maybe

"There's not-dad Harv-"

"he's Uncle T right now-"

"-that's Uncle T, don't gamble with him or ask about his coin collection unless you want to stay a while."

Or

"Don't mind Uncle Cobbles, he's a little competitive with B about their family histories, but other than that and birds he's pretty calm."

Even

"Yeah don't mind Uncle John, he's probably more nervous than you are, doing spook him and you'll be fine."

||=====||=====||

Yesss so many photos.

Also, there's two wedding photos. One he shows to outsiders, the other is up at the major as a painting and is the same wedding photo but underwater.

... Ras don't bother your son-in-law's friends please, they have enough on their plate. Seriously, stop. 😂😅

Bruce probably confuses everyone even more by knowing the assassins.

Oooo yes. Sharks, aquariums, oh my. I love all the animals you mentioned too.

... so I randomly looked up 'Victorian modern punk' because why not and...

This was the top result.

[elizabeth-mitchells]

the absolute headache that this show gives me is not normal. i feel like this episode lasted two months and then the preview for the next episode took a year out of my lifespan and what am i going to do next huh? how's this going to end???

[kiras-monkey-bum-face]

I've kept it quiet not to jinx it but I have my driving practical test for the second time tomorrow and I swear to god if I fail again I'll be so pissed at myself, please send good vibes my way

[gayspock]

OK the last .25 of the episode and x20 me rambling

the more i see kira the funnier it is that this is somehow at all connected to her and the child she was before

also like look.... it feels shocking to me she would ever. i guess she was just a kid. but even still. i dont know man. its nuts. i hope sarah beats her ass to hell. cuz having lived through all of THAT i just... i dont buy that anyone would even think "i can do that and i can do it well this time." like kira. your aunts were all dying of sickness. and no matter what kind of passion project it was, ever, at the end of the day if youre doing it under a company theyre all property. like theres no way you can rationalise yourself out of that. i just dont believe it. maybe if she was somehow IMPLICATED sure and in over her head? that i could get more. cuz i do agree the little we did have of kiras personality, she very much was like. so fucking sick of everything by the end and just wanted to go out on her own and i can buy that she'd fall into it that way. but like having her be alike the centre of it is insane....

and like its really weird to think of any of this happening within the same universe. again i feel like it being a sequel to OB is doing it more harm than good in terms of like what its trying to achieve, the inspiration its getting and what i myself am doing in trying to engage with it. like "dont compare it to orphan black!" can only go so far when its literally Meant to be a continuation of the story and its attempting to be that and its doing the callbacks and its retreading old ground.

i am genuinely like ok im giving this a Chance but idk i feel like its incredibly mediocre and i know its like only episode 2 but i feel like.... its just sort of exhibiting so many patterns thus far that i have no faith in whatsoever.

like stop going so fast. please just build them up. you dont have to jump immediately into all of this shit. like orphan black is not like some masterfully written piece of work but it at least earned it when it went crazy and thats what made it so good.

i seriously think jules should have been the protagonist here. im not kidding. i think if we followed her pov from the beginning and did Not Deviate like just let her tske reign and have shit slowly crumble around her... idk that feels more interesting to me. like i said before. idc that much for lucy right now. im sorry she is cool but i feel like half the time theyre just telling me facts about her and im not feeling much of her actual personality. it feels like the vague background they tried to give her of her life in between then and now is like.... nothing but an attempt to make her like sarah if anything?

i feel like when im watching lucy im not seeing much of a struggle with anything. i think thats also why i'd prefer jules. her stabbing lucy with with the makeshift toilet shank was like the most orphan black thing ive seen so far. LOL. again when we follow her it feels like some actual... tension. and stakes. and yeah shes like a kid and usually idc about kid protagonists which maybe thats why they did not go with her but... she feels a lot more realised to me.

and again you could say thats the point!! lucy is a blank slate!! but i dont know. just cuz somethings The Point doesn't make it well executio. its like i said thats genuinely such a hard thing to pull off. if you cant do it... dont make her your protag. sorry. i think she'd be so much more compelling as a secondary character. maybe more akin to what helena was in terms of presence (not in character, but again, presence). i think that would actually help her a lot and the mystery and the slower burn on who she is and what she's been through and seeing her through jules' eyes primarily would be way more interesting to me. cuz right now we're just skipping through her story and im not really feeling..., anything. like i like jack and and charlie but it went so fast with them too. i feel like they needed to draw that conflict out way more than they did. or shit man. ok i know WOMEN RIGHTS. even jack i think would be a more compelling protagonist to me or well. not protagonist. but if we followed HIS perspective first and saw lucy and then if he somehow bumped into jules.... I DONT KNOW. MY POINT IS IM LIKE. I DONT LIKE THE WAY THEYVE GONE ABOUT THIS. or lucy. sorry lucy. i feel like right now again. they just tell the camera us who she is as a fucking person . and im like ok. kewl.

anyway its sort of a shame idk if its like this is even lost potential. because like well there is potential to do a good clone show with all the stuff im talking about. its called orphan black and it ended years ago. sorry.

ok so myh thoughts after like literaly 1.75 episodes: i will watch 1 or 2 more but i dont think im sticking with this

i was like im not gonna have others' opinion kinda sway me here but from my own concerns i did go and take a lookie loo on some of the stuff ppl have been saying abt this bc im just fascinated. hows it been out since NOVEMBER in aus and its been crickets

and like i think it looks like what i was expecting of like... i dontthink theyre really going anywhre new or inventive with this. instead trying to redo certain plot elements of the original orphan black, bring in cameos and callbacks without... ughghgg... you know....

like from what ive seen so far i just dont have that much faith in it. its fine. its good. good performances. but idgaf. i feel like its just really superficial and its... inorganic? i wish it wouldnt keep pushing itself along. i wish the writing was a bit better. its not bad but i keep catching myself off with it and i feel like im not drawn in to whats happening. it all feels kinda stilted. and strange. and blah

anyways this is kinda a shame whatevwer. i mean i didnt really have high hopes for it so i guess its just met them?

[sugaftrm]

♡ sweet sope ♡

love notes for my mutuals hi everyone, this past week has been full of extra love and wanted to share my appreciation, not just for this joyful community, but for the people who brighten up each day with their presence! 

@blueandtaes - hi my sib, i love you. being in this fandom together is a godsend. through the weeping, the cackling, the impulse purchases, the city adventures and home dance parties, i’m so blessed to be doing it all with you. ​

@zmalik - sabrina shonaaaa you’re one of the first people i followed on this website (i legit think you were the second person after my sister), i dont know why you followed when you did since i was a chaotic mess back then but i am so so thankful that you did! i remember our early convos and i still fantasize about deshi food hangouts in the city, whether that’s yours or mine. you’re the kind of person who in many ways I aspire to be, because you say what’s on your mind without the fluff. I’ve been meaning to ask you why you hate ji changwook btw but I’ve been scared! one day let’s talk about it over chaa nastha? Love you, and sending all my affection to you and ur new kitten!! @yoonglet - hello angel aahana! I feel as though no matter how I try to word how I feel about you, it will always fall short. You are one of the most generous, strong-willed, friendly people I know. Your aura is bright and I am so honored to witness you, even if it’s through this limited window of armytumblr. thank you for believing in me, when I didn’t believe in myself! Your support means everything <3 @artsyjoons - anj! i distinctly remember an early convo we had where we were talking about namjoon doing an srk pose lmfao thank you for understanding what i was rambling about in the tags and initiating a convo with me! every morning i wake up and i see you enriching my feed with your thoughts, your humor, and your captivating energy! please share with me the secret to being so sweet and cool??  @rosebowl - my sweetheart Sharika, when I think about you honestly… I feel anxious and giddy! Because I wonder what luck I must have accidentally stumbled upon to find a desi army friend right here in New York, and that too someone who shares so many of my own values and interests!!?? Sounds like a dream, hope I never wake up! My adoration for you grows every day, please know that I am rooting for you and support you, just how you show up endlessly for all of us! Can’t wait for our future adventures xoxoxo @taefiore - hi my darling raabia! (I hope you’re resting and not stressing when you read this, but if you are stressed I hope this makes you smile) I feel like I have to thank run-on for bringing us together?? I have enjoyed every single one of our conversations and interactions, you’re easily one of the most clever and sweet people on this site! thank you for listening to my dreams, for all your kind/witty commentary on things I post, and for being an all-around incredible person! i know how hard you work and I hope your future is just as bright as you are, love you! @bibillyhillsbaby - lovely helena, are your legs tired? Cus you’re running through my mind oooooh! we’ve said this to each other many times, how fun it is to chat about shows, about our love for these men,™ and more! but have I told you about the times you’ve generated warmth and peace for my soul? your compassion has not gone unnoticed dear friend <3 you’ve made so many of us laugh and smile, lended kind words when we’ve needed them the most. I hope that when you see flowers and trees, you think of all our love blossoming for you!  @kithtaehyung - oh ryen! when you created the ‘still with you’ gfx you officially stole my heart! but then you went and kept it for good when you made the ‘magic shop’ gfx during a challenging time in my life. your empathy and your cheerfulness was a clearing for my foggy mind! you’re a stellar person and i get such a burst of joy when i see you on my feed. if i could handwrite notes for you everyday, i would! <3 @pinkjjoon - sara i can’t remember our first conversation, but i could’ve swore it had something to do with the term “namjaan” lmao! though we’re timezones apart, i am glad the internet brought us together cus i really need more desi army visibility! i appreciate your candidness, your humor, as well as your kind words during hard times. i hope bts gets their act together and holds a concert where you are cus you more than deserve it!  @hazeltae - allison, ive been trying to put to words why i feel so drawn to you and why you always make my day and i think it’s bc you’re a capricorn sun/pisces moon!!! no wonder you have this way of making people feel steady, held while also relating to them on an emotional level! i love talking to you about rj, about yoongi, about totally normal shopping habits <3 thank you for all that you are and for being such a sweetheart!  @gimbapchefs - hello nat!! even though we’re newer mutuals, there’s such a refreshing ease in our conversations that i truly appreciate! i find myself resonating with your thoughts and reactions, and cackling at things you reflect in the tags! i also admire your dedication to your studies, even when you get a little distracted ;) we need more people like you in the field, i’m so excited to see where your journey takes you!  @intronnevermind - hi raf! it’s such a pleasure to be connected here! we haven’t spoken much but your posts and content leave me with a great sense of joy/admiration! i am so impressed by your style and am looking forward to anything you create in the future. thank you for sharing sweet remarks about my amateur content and for being such a lovely part of this community! @ourownwings - wings :) i am so in awe of the creations you provide for the community and all the tender labor that goes into relaying the BU stories here! i can only imagine the time it takes to do that, but you’ve done above and beyond - and i’m so proud of your milestone! i was delighted to chat with your about your life outside tumblr, and wish you all the best in your future endeavors! thank you for being such a sweet, supportive presence in my orbit!  @jintae - padya, it’s likely you’ll see this if/when you return from your hiatus but you should know that i appreciate our exchanges and how excited i was to connect with another nyc bengali army! i hope you are taking care and finding enjoyment during your days <3 i think about your written piece about the impact bts has had on you as well as the publication you created for the community, and am so proud to know that you’ve spearheaded these meaningful spaces for others. i hope our bond can grow over time, universe-willing, and that you get every happiness you absolutely deserve!

to my lovely mutuals who amaze me every time with their creations & their talent, and have given me much laughter/much comfort, i am grateful for you. i have much warmth in my heart for you all and appreciate the conversations we’ve had about life, about bangtan, and anything in between. thank you for being here: @duckjinnie @ayosuuga @yoongisshadow @userjiminie @jinbestboy @mykrokosmos @marvelousbangtan @jimindelune @floraljimin @flowerseokjin @dinamitae @zhujieqiong @thegoddessly @kooseokss @dalbichigom @jinjagi @joonsrack 

[noturtypicaldumbblonde]

my thoughts on episode 6 of Gossip Girl

. it already starts with aki, LETS GOOO!! nice to meet his mom, im hoping this ep will show us more of aki by himself

. unfortunately for me obie and audrey will have a lot of screen time from what i've heard...

. loved the talk between julien and her dad, i always loved their dynamic. the conversation about the importance of an education and how Internet isn't a reliable job is super important right now.

. "you gave me that one and i hate both. you should have brought a coat" can :) audrey :) shut :) up :) ? and dont tell me she's being rude bc of the stress, she has always treaded aki like garbage, homeboy deserves better

. "you were right about him, by the way" ok max, but where's the apology? :|

. have i ever mentioned that i hate the teachers and they should go to jail? i did? well, i mentioned it again.

. luna is SO cute. i have a huge soft spot for her

. "YOU ARENT A CONQUEST YOU ARE A CONQUISTADOR"... RAFA... PLS GO AWAY... PLS PLS PLS

. audrey was so rude with zoya and for what? zoya's mom is DEAD i think she knows what she is talking about

. i'm happy julien is growing!! she is very charismatic and i enjoy her arc. ik lots of people don't like jordans acting but i think she does a nice job, makes me dislike and like julien at the right times

. LMAO ZOYA SHOWED GG STILLS TO HELENA

. wait, americans eat dinner at 6? yall are insane ,':|

. its more of a pet peeve but why is audrey so worried about the doctors work? isn't this a prestigious hospital? i had family members in BRAZILIAN PUBLIC HOSPITALS and i wasn't this worried about the doctors work

. jodi is so cute!! i'm loving her

. hm.. how could roger have reported on kikis companies failing if audrey didn't know about it? did she just not know that the company had gone bankrupt? im confused

. i'm divided on the dinner scene

. I HAD ALREADY GOTTEN THE SPOILER THAT AKI WAS GOING TO BE OUTED BUT FUCK, IT STILL HURT. i might make a post about it later cause i got outed (more than once) so its personal to me.

. is audrey fucking stupid? sorry for my language but how did she manage to out aki to his parents and to zoya in less then a minute?

. obie can't decide what he wants in a gf. julien doesn't care enough but zoya cares too much. he keeps complaining that they arent "who they used to be... and they changed..." but has he ever considered that maybe perhaps they never even changed, obie just had a false notion of who they were?

. i don't even understand the teachers motivations at this point. if GG showed one scene of the teens being """humbled""" it was a lot

. audrey not telling aki she outed him was so disgusting

. jodi seems to want to be closer to aki and i hope it happens!! i love family dynamics.

. that little scene between audrey and her mom i- ???? audrey should be the one apologizing not kiki. and the blonde annoying thing has the audacity of throwing a ""

. aki's dad outing him in national television... and NOT A SINGLE PERSON WENT TO HUG HIM? AKI BABY THEY DON'T DESERVE YOU.

. urgh im tired of the julien×zoya drama

. dude... audrey outed aki to a bunch of people, never told him, never apologized for anything, treats him horribly and then..? organises a threesome?

. aki DOES NOT KNOW that it was audrey who betrayed his trust. now that i think about it we never even see how he deals with being outed to everyone he knows

. WAIT WHAT??? AKIS DAD IS TELLING AKI TO STAY AWAY FROM JULIEN?? WHY??? BRO WHY? IS HE GOING TO PUBLISH SOMETHING ABOUT HER? MAYBE THE PROTESTS? IDK THEORIES ANYONE?

. STOOOPP NO JULIEN×OBIE PLS PLS PLS

. i missed luna and monet :(((

. i loved the episode and cant wait for season one part two!

sorry this post is huge, i had a lot of thoughts,

clary <3

[wordsoflittlewisdom]

Watching bop again

I kinda forgot Cass was at the roller derby game. Love how all the characters are connected

Why does Roman’s voice...sound like that

Boss Bitch is weirdly nostalgic now

I like that the whole roller derby team is wearing like. team jackets. and harleys got her whole fringe sleeves thing going on

YES LOVE WHEN SHE THROWS THE NECKLACE AWAY

The chemical plant blowing up as fireworks was a very Harley choice

“So I’ll start where I fucking want” four minutes ago

huntress huntress huntress huntress huntress

I read somewhere that this huntress and Montoya scene was one take and they just changed the lighting to show the change

romans middle name being beauvais is probably the clearest clue they could have given that he was from a rich family

Love that Renee finds the necklace and knows Harley and the joker broke up. I like this idea that superheroes/villains are kinda like celebrities in this world

The egg sandwich scene is great what more can I say

Love that there’re cars and people just living their lives in this city

It’s a crime that we never see Harley wear this glittery fanny pack

The music is really good in this

It’s neat how the line between her narration and her dialogue is blurred, like how she’ll say the first part of something in narration and the second part in dialogue

Huntress’s little flute theme

And Montoya knows Cass; c o n n e c t i o n s

Montoya’s been going after Roman, too

And now we’re flipping back to the bertinelli massacre and diamond

Even if the whole missing diamond plot isn’t that unique, everything’s woven together so neatly

And now Dinah and Renee are on the phone about Cass and the diamond

It’s all connected

Harleys whole “I’m here to report a terrible crime”—she could have just run in there but she wanted to be Dramatic

I do wish the vocals were a little louder here maybe?

Big fan of this fight choreography

Harley pausing on a frame where she’s making a weird face before rewinding to explain about the diamond—it’s so rare to ever get to see women like. making weird faces in movies. All the women in his this are gorgeous but they don’t always have to be; they look beat up after fights and get dirty and make weird faces and it’s great

Dinah singing? Exceptional

“Loans, liquidity, laundering” ah yes the three L’s of illegal business

I unironically listen to Black Canary’s man’s world.

I like that everyone just calls Dinah “Canary”

“I’m all on my lonesome. It’s great” Harleys even an unreliable narrator when she’s just talking

I’ve really never seen a movie that feel like it’s from the female gaze visually as much as this one—all the rings and earrings, the hair, the makeup, it feels like what women might fantasize about dressing like

Dinah yelling “you motherfucker!” While beating some creeps up is quality

What time of day is it? Dinah would probably be leaving early in the morning, but I Refuse to believe that Roman would be awake particularly early any morning

She either canary is leaving her nightclub singing gig in the late morning/early afternoon or roman is still awake from the night before and is going to go to sleep soon

Cass and Dinah in the same building. (Bernie voice): I am once again talking about the connections

I’ve riffed on this before but i refuse to believe that Roman can drive

This Dinah and Renee scene establishes character, backstories, and moves the plot along all at once

Jesus some of ewan mcgregor’s acting in this is painfully bad

I love that Cass has a big bomber jacket and longer, looser shorts

Jurnee’s abs wow

The lights from behind the hands with the eyes behind Harley, who’s surrounded by people and then Roman and Victor emerge from the back, whispering to each other? Beautiful

One of the grievances roman has against Harley is “constantly interrupting him, like I’m doing right now”

Harleys “you’re really not as complicated as you think” bit is almost satirical of this cult we’ve created of “complicated” white male movie villains who have massive fan followings (cough cough joker)

Interesting that Roman holds the knife to Harleys face but hands it off to Victor to do that actual cutting

Someone handed Roman a bowl of popcorn

Harleys pocket tampon

It’s diamonds are a girls best friend yeah babey!

The male backup dancers are wearing muzzles/masks (Roman has one too for a split second) is an interesting flip on the way women are typically the ones being silenced, as well as Harleys desire to silence the men around her and be the one telling and controlling her own narrative

“Hey! you’re that singer no one listens to!” “Hey! You’re the asshole no one likes!”

Harley with her glitter gun

Harleys reaction when the sprinklers go off is perfect—Margot makes her feel like a living cartoon

This cell block fight scene is a showstopper

I like that cass doesn’t immediately want to stay with Harley. It gives her some agency in a story where she’s mostly just following the curveballs life throws her

Harleys little stare straight into the camera when cass admits to eating the diamond

Harley at the grocery store really emphasizes that she’s a total weirdo

I think I heard somewhere that the pic of child Harley with the nuns is a pic of young Margot??? Not totally sure though

Cass not knowing who the joker is goes with the whole supers are like celebrities thing—cass probably follows a whole different group of them (like how most kids follow different celebrities than their parents)

Huntress huntress huntresssss

“Give me number 32. Mild”

This kid in helenas flashback doesn’t really look like she’s grow up to look like Mary Elizabeth Winstead

This filming in this flashback has so much style

Helena practicing in the bathroom mirror with her drawing and her multiple bottles of travel mouthwash

We’re in the scene where Roman makes the girl dance on the table and oh god it’s so uncomfortable

No no no no no not this hate this

Alright that nightmare’s done

“and that’s why you should never pay federal income taxes”

Harley offering to bring cass to Roman after hearing doc say “business is business is interesting

OH ITS HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT TIME

Dinahs car is yellow because it’s...canary yellow

Roman putting on the mask is cool and all but he’s just gonna have to take it back off to get changed

This Harley vs Renee fight is fun because they keep mirroring each other—they’re fighting each other, but they’re really on the same side

The way the women all kind of circle each other at first and don’t immediately get along

Cass popping up with the gun also gives her some agency—she’s at the end of her rope with the diamond and being betrayed by Harley

“I am nOT THE CROSSBOW KILLER”

The way Huntress sounds so uncertain when she says “...and now I’m done” Mary’s acting really popped off

Roman’s a bitch but I like his outfits

Helenas little smile when Harley says “you just killed his BFF”

I love how excited Harley is when they all agree to work together

Roman’s giving his little speech in the back of a pickup truck?

When all the guys turned around with masks on I got chills

“I love this chick she’s got rage issues.” “I DONT HAVE RAGE ISSUES”

Huntress stabbing the guy while going down the slide is peak cinema

This set lights up as the scene progresses and reveals more

I love love love that Helena is genuinely caring towards Cass and recognizing that children shouldn’t have to go through trauma like her

“When the fuck did she have time to do a shoe change?”

THE HAIR TIE YEAH

Forgot to mention this but it’s a stroke of genius for this place to be called the booby trap

Love me some canary cry

“Told ya she had a killer voice”

Harleys chase was a real group hurrah—the canary cry cleared the way and pushed her forward, Huntress towed her, Renee gave her the gun with one bullet

Cass and Roman are just sitting in the back seat. That must have been an awkward car ride

Cass pulling the gun away from Roman when he tries to shoot up at Harley when Harleys on top of the car is elite

Damn this is one foggy pier

When Harley starts with “your protection is based on the fact that people are scared of you” you expect her to say that it’s wrong or something but she says “I’m the one they should be scared of” this movie messed with tropes so much

That also includes the whole “one bullet” thing—Harley misses with her one bullet, and you don’t really know what’s gonna happen next

“I took your ring”

You can pinpoint exactly when Harley and Roman realize what Cass did

I’d put the entire taco scene here if I could

Renee moving the drink away from cass shows her caring side—she doesn’t want a kid to get into alcohol and make the mistakes she did

“Does she always talk like the cop in a bad eighties movie?”

Harley and Cass stealing the car is a fun way to show that she may be on the side of the good guys sometimes, but that doesn’t necessarily make her one

“Woman” by Kesha

Wow the outfits in this scene are iconic

I mean they are in the whole movie but I especially like these

Cass riding around with Harley and a hyena, wearing cute outfits and learning the ways of chaos

Harley got her sandwich!

The credit art for this movie is cool

Especially how they represent each character

In conclusion this is still my favorite movie

I know I’ve been kinda absent recently, but watching this again has really reminded me how much I love it. I got really busy but I’m going to Make An Effort to be a contributing member of the bop fandom again.