#helena: i dont know if i did the right thing

[whoviandoodler]

'isn't the whole point of the show that love transcends severance??? but then why didn't imark go with gemma!' yes but the whole point of the show is also that innies are no less human than outies, and that the relationships they form are no less love than the relationships their outies form. what imark did WAS irrational and impulsive and ultimately doomed, but it was also very human of him! it was as much mark to take helly's hand as it was to agree to a basement floor surgery so he could see gemma again. he's proven many times that he will make reckless and selfish choices for love even while he's trying to be a good person otherwise, and there's no reason to expect imark to suddenly deviate from that by sacrificing his bond with helly just because we wish gemma happiness.

[deesseshesca]

PAC: What would your broken heart feel about your nuptial union ? (18+)

PILE 2 

Star (reverse), High priestess (reverse), 2 cups, 2 wands (reverse) 

SONG 1 : A Sunday Kind Of Love - Etta James

You are an over-sharer and u dont care. You often say the most out of pocket things and walk away like the queen you are. Because you may be disrespectful but u aint wrong. You give me the vibe of Luna Lovegood with the mouth of Cookie Lyon or Pat LuPon. You have a sense of humor, sex-appeal and feminine expression similar to Helena Bonham. Ok Pile 2, I am obsessed with you … Plz say u want to be my friend. It said we are friends, yes you have no choice. I swear I am cool too, maybe not as much as you but I am still a STAR (Mia Goth scream way). 

First letter is written by your present self. Y’all may live alone. You may have  black cat or thought of adopting one from the shelter. You are always down for a late night snack. You were raised by a naked mom (twin … told u we have a lot in common) that's why u walk around your house naked. For the one that doesn't apply to their 3D reality, just know that your manifestations are working. You are on the right path to achieve that kind of freedom. 

Second letter is an update from your future self. 

You drop everything. Close your phone or your TV. Give it a big sight and take some paper and a pen. Other of you, is in your journal. Your done being confused or acting confused. Waiting for the right one to appear, you are taking matters on your own and writing about him (without knowing your are manifesting and using a powerful energy : frustration. Also you may do under a powerful moon (ex : full moon) without knowing) 

Ok … So I want him to look so deep in my eyes that it seems like his having a discussion with my soul. I  don't care that I can't handle eye contact (some of y’all wear glasses), I just want a cute moment. Is that too much to ask ? No it is not ! AND I WANT IT. I also want someone that can't keep his hand away from me. I want someone who's going to drag me towards him softly while I speak to my friend just cause he needs to feel me. I want someone that would hug me to sleep while he plays video games with his friend but he would not just stop there. He would not scream and his friend would yell at him in his headphones but he would chuckle that he’s the only one with a gf for a reason. He would never be ashamed of being pussy whipped and a total simp boy for a fucking weird girl like me. He will not fetishize my weirdness or quirks, he would actually embrace it. He will found joy bringing me to the spiritual shop so I can buy all my crystal and herbs, he would love to plan a trip to Salem so we can dive deeper into the witchcraft scene or maybe love to go to New Orleans so I can bask in the magical air and learn the beauty of a closed practice (u will not practice it but u love learning). He would love to see me put cinnamon  a front of all our doors, fuck why not add this since HIS MY PERFECT MEN …he would love to live in an old house with some antique decor. I also need him to be tall , this tall queen needs to feel like a little spoon 2. Back off my man, short princess, mama got this. I WANT HIM CLINGY. I want him to be unable to sleep without me. I want him to be a homebody but like the clean kind, not the incel way ( ME: EXPLOSION OF LAUGHTER. Girl u seem to talk from a specific experience). I want him to love holding on to my purse, tying my shoes and throwing in some kind of braiding hair skills. I want him to enjoy a road trip because if there's one thing my family is going to do, is go on a trip. I want him to love my family and accept the fact that I am a crybaby. Yes… the stereotype is real, I am the last (or only ) daughter of the family so is my way or the highway. I want him to be able to chase after me when the zoomies catch me when  I am drunk. Did I mention that I want him tie to my hip ? I want him to stop his car whenever he sees me in  the neighborhood just so he can get out and hug me. Universe frl don't play with me … he better not be some long distance bullshit. You know I can't handle it ! 

Yes! Angel number : 999 must be meant to be. 

PS: I just want to throw this here … I mean may as well. I want us to have some light hearted  love making. I want to be comfortable being naked under the cover. I want us to build healthy sexual tension. I also want him to seduce me into having sex, no pressure. I want him to touch me like I am a delicate porcelain doll and look at me with so much love and adoration. I want him to see the value in my naked body … I just want to feel like I am worth more than just a sex doll. 

555

(Your signature) 

Update (In your manifestation journal. You will have one in the future. Also I am channeling a time where u are more organized in your spirituality and more confident than a baby witch) 

SONG : CRUSH - AJ Tracey ft Jorja Smith 

Before I start, you are coming to a realization. Don't worry, it's not a bad one. You just did something u never thought u would do. Actually when u went to meet up with him u did not even think, y’all would do that. You guys fucked in the forest. Some of y’all have a lake in your neighberhood which is your secret spot and u fucked in parking lot around.  Depending on how u park it can be in front of the forest. You were literally coochie out moaning  with the birds. BYEEE … Chérie D’Amour I did not know y’all were down like that. Some of y’all reading are surprise but intrigue, yeah this person is going to bring out the nasty gyal out of you. 

3 pentacles (reverse), king cups, 6 wands (reverse), magician (reverse) 

Home sweet home… I'm back. 

(You take a deep breath. Nod your head and stand up  and caress your bed (lol) then  decide is best to just take a shower. The flashbacks are attacking you in the shower. You may get horny in the shower to the point of wanting to touch yourself but I heard u speak out loud : (Your name) stop being so perv, ( chuckle ) … fuck I forgot how good and hot he was). Dinner with the fam and watching a movie with your sibling back in your bedroom.) 

Ok not only did he crack my shit he also clocked my tea (you are talking to one of your deities). I thought I was the healer in the relationship and maybe I let my ego get bigger than it needed to be just because I did some shadow work. Honestly I hate to say it but I think I stereotyped him … I was so sure he was emotionally unavailable … the whole time I was the guard up one. I remember when he first approached me it was in such an awkward setting (an embarrassing thing that can happen to you on the mundane: Toilet paper on your shoes, blood spotting in your bottoms, maybe your drink spilled all over you.) and he offered to help me. You know me … I don’t have shame because life is life. Nobody is going to remember me in 5 years if I fell on my ass or throw up in the bush after the club and even if they do … fuck them, we ball. He offered his help with a charming smile, Goddess does he smell good. Thank you so much for the tall setting on him … I was starting to lose hope. Offering me paper and running a hand on my back while I threw up in the bush while my other friend is stopping my homegirl from sending her nudes to her boss. (Chuckle) How did he survive such an overstimulating experience ? A crazy girl yelling her sexual fantasy about a man twice her age, while another trying to take the phone away from her and me completely sick on knees vomiting my life away. Yet he was cracking jokes and comforting me. I still remember : ‘’ No you fine baby … No you don't smell, I swear all I can smell is roses. What was that princess ? Can you repeat ? Yes… Thank you baby … I also think you are smoking hot. I would love to talk but let's make sure you are fine first …’’ ( You heart skip a beat, You take a break from writing to enjoy the butterfly in your stomach). His voice adhfbhfnekihgejkng, fuck and dont get me started when his dirty talking me or moaning on top of me. Still can't believe he took my number and called me first in the morning making sure I am fine. Over the months we got closer, no pressure since he already saw me at my worst. We both realize that harboring love was more complicated than we thought but we want each other so bad. My hyper independence had the best of us because I made him think that he was useless. The way I treated him made him feel like I was using him just for entertainment. I made him insecure regarding his intentions, his real feelings and actions because I am not going to lie when he opens up about his past … I started projecting all the men  that hurted me and just distance myself. On his side his separation anxiety is quite overbearing. Always having to text him, calling him and showing him a picture of where I was. Before we knew it, loving each other became a task. A tarot reading later, he texts me randomly and asks me for a second chance. What ? What was I supposed to do ? He invited me to his house and cooked for me. Than gave me a foot massage while we watched one of my trashy TV shows. One thing lead to the other, the flirtatious comment, the sneaky touch, the meal, the clean house, him without a tee-shirt, me in my cute 2 piece, the glasses of wine and before I knew it we were confessing once again our love promising each other to do the wok require to make it work. Honestly I have so much faith in us. He’s the only one that actually sees me. Lol he even gave me a box of beautiful crystals … you would have folded 2, if it were u. 

(The bell of your house goes off. Somebody calls your name downstair, a flower bouquet is waiting for you. You never finish the letter.)

You are going to marry this person but unlike the other girly pop a key moment of y’all relationship came through instead of marriage. Which I didn't even ask for marriage to come through just for your future spouse to do. So it's actually a coincidence that the 2 other piles came through with their wedding specifically. 

[nquesoxlies]

sorry to vent a little before new ep tonight, queso, but im kinda tired of two mindsets. one is the whole idea that buck wouldn't naturally come the conclusion about his feelings for eddie but would have to be TOLD about them, and the other is the continuous "helena diaz led the charge to steal christopher away!!!!" because... wtf did we not watch the same show?

like. i don't believe buck has romantic feelings for eddie at all, but even if he did, it's just SO weird to me that i keep seeing people be like "maddie has to tell him!" and "tommy will tell him it's actually eddie!" and whatnot. like... buck's a grown man. if anything, he might talk to someone like maddie and she would ask questions that would make him think deeper about the situation and come to his own conclusion. whyyyy do BoBs keep treating buck like he's this big stupid idiot who could never realize his own feelings and has to be TOLD them? has he ever had someone point blank tell him his feelings before? i'd have to rewatch the show but it feels like the most anyone (bobby, maddie, etc) has been a listening ear when he needs it and asked him questions to help him figure himself out. i don't think anyone's had to say "buck ur clearly in love with [whoever] you dumb shit" :/ like idc abt ppl who ship peacefully but u would think some ppl might want a modicum of respect to one half of the ship to know himself well enough to figure out how he feels.

and ugh the helena (and ramon, but helena gets the most strife from fans) diaz thing. at first i thought "maybe they have a point" because i hadn't finished season 7 until very recently, but i watched those episodes and like... chris wasn't talking to eddie. chris didn't want to see his dad at all because he was so hurt and angry. he calls the people who he knew would drop everything to come to him AND have the power to put their foot down and do what he wants. while i think i know as a viewer that if chris HAD brought the subject up to eddie, eddie would have heard him out and tried to talk it out... but why would chris know that? i would have done the same shit as a kid and would have deeply appreciated having an adult who will stick up for what i need right now. i just dont get why people constantly think that helena is this evil witch who masterminded a way to steal chris away when chris himself told them (not buck, who he likely thinks would have taken eddie's side; not eddie, who he wasn't speaking to) that he wanted to go back to texas. like, yeah, eddie did have a strained relationship with his parents, they did doubt his ability to raise christopher... but wasn't that plot literally resolved at the end of season 2 with them accepting chris and eddie staying in L.A. or am i misremembering??? its been a while

its just. its frustrating, and i get that its the normal fandom shit of people having different interpretations, but sometimes it feels like some people don't even watch the show or understand how shows work. like. sometimes something is a plot for one season, and then it gets wrapped up and we're supposed to go "okay, this plot is over, things are good now" or "this plot is over, it could have been handled better, but we're not supposed to go move forward thinking these people are horrible and evil" or even the one i feel toward other shows "this fucking SUCKED im gonna write fanfic about it because the shows not gonna bring it up or address it better."

The problem is that both of these mindsets are firmly planted from fanon.

They treat Buck like he's some stupid guy that can't make his own decisions. The woobify him to a degree that is so very cringe that, at least me, I couldn't even read Buddie fanfiction when I thought I'd give it a go.

And when it comes to the hate flung at Helena it's so unwarranted. Yes, when Eddie left to LA with Chris Eddie's mom didn't think it was a good idea but what people don't look at is the fact that Eddie had JUST gotten back from Afghanistan and suddenly he's going to take Chris to another state and be a single father? That's tough.

The Diaz parents obviously love Chris, and them bringing him back to Texas is what CHRIS wanted. It was his decision. No one else's.

[an-orca-on-a-stroll]

Severance season 2 ep1 thoughts/theories under the cut

(long post!)

Ok FIRST of all whomst the fuck is this creepy guy we see in the background after Mark goes to Wellness in the beginning of the episode???

2. The italian guy is played by an actual italian actor, and him saying "Why's he standing weird?" when Mark comes in the office first time was so unexpected lmfao

3. I'm 100% conviced everything Milchick told Mark is bullshit. "It's been 5 months"? then why does it look like he just moved into Cobel's office? Who's been managing the severed floor in the meantime?

This newspaper is obviously fake as fuck

The photo is in black and white and the cars are old models, this is in line with Lumon's habit of only exposing innies to dated technology. Now lets zoom in a bit shall we

"Mark S, Helly R, Irving B, and Dylan G, the very famous “Innies” (…) All four of them gave speeches, praising the “courageous” acts of their Innies and thanking Lumon for its accomodations." -> If the outies gave the speech, then why are they dressed as their innies? Plus look at Mark smiling. Dude would not be smiling. He didn't smile before, and he's not going to have anything to smile about now, we saw him in the trailer and he was a mess.

4. They're trying to pin everything on Cobel, make it seem like SHE was the sadist and deviant (and she was, but god forbid women have hobbies. also the "throuple" things was hilarious and holds so many implications?? dating someone's innie and outie at the same time is a throuple??? lmfao) that did all that while Lumon only wants the best for its employees. Milchick is lying making it seem like the MDR gang changed things significantly with their going on the outside. But IMO it hasn't been 5 months, and we dont know exactly how the outside is taking the news but it definitely is not as black & white as "these innies are heroes and everybody loves them". In the meantime Milchick is trying to appease them by offering more perks, snacks, etc. and by pretending he's the good guy that doesn't want to be their jailer.

Not buying it Seth, I know what you said in the trailer:

5. He's also lying about outie Mark begging to go back to Lumon.

Really, Seth? Looks the other way around to me.

6. There is no way in hell there are no more cameras on the severed floor

This is immediately after being shown the video with their conversations and VOICE RECORDING taken from the security cameras. Without their consent. Like be for fucking real right now.

7. This part of why the others weren't present, and what comes after is really strange and can't form an opinion on it

Let's think about it. Would Dylan refuse? his innie didn't go to the outside to make trouble. He doesn't seem to suspect anything about Lumon either, at most he saw what Helly said on tv but like, for him that day was just a regular day except maybe that he came back from work later. Would he be so adamant about quitting his job after just that? Seems kinda strange.

Irving obviously has something going on with Lumon. The paintings of the elevator, plus the fact he has a list of Lumon's severed employees in his home for some reason? He's definitely digging into Lumon. Obsessed as he is, I doubt he would quit.

Helly actually makes sense that she would not come back bc for starters she doesn't want to be there, and after how much damage she's done I doubt Helena would let her return, but we have that whole theory about Helly being Helena in this ep so....yeah

Anyway it's all very strange. Mark comes back alone and Milchick tells him it's because the others quit (or we fired them and arent telling you), sorry! Then Mark has a tantrum because he wants his friends back and suddenly they ARE back? Like the next day? Or IS IT the next day?

8. Which brings me to the next point, the time Mark goes in the elevator after his transgression and apparent firing is really, really weird. Instead of the normal transition of him changing his expression as he becomes his outie, and then changing back as he goes down the elevator again, we get a BLACK elevator and a BLACK screen

You know what other elevator is black??

I think he stayed in the testing floor at least until the end of the day, possibly more, and they fucked with his perception to make him think he went back up. Also, in that scene we don't see the arrow on the elevator

As far as we know, the elevator for the regular entrance could also go to the testing floor, not just the black elevator. And maybe the arrow on it changes depending on if it goes up or down.

As for the others from team MDR, they might've been in the testing floors too during the work day, possibly without their outies knowing, who knows. I don't think they'd be there permanently like Gemma, not after their publicity at the Lumon event in which there were their photos, and Helly's speech at said event. But this is just a theory, I don't think there is enough material to fully support it, except for Mark.

9. The whole video segment. What the fuck. Taking their rebellion and making it part of the narrative for the oppression?? Including their private moments and other things taken completely out of context with recordings of their own voices?? Truly dystopian evil shit. Loved the stop motion animation though, gotta hand it to Lumon. Also is that Keanu Reeves's voicing the building???

10. Is Helly really Helly or is she actually Helena? Hard to say at this stage but I'm leaning more on her being Helena. She's just acting weird. The lying first of all; on one hand, it's been a hot minute since everything happened so lying might be just a first instinctual reaction, like denial. But on the other hand, at the event she still spoke out against her outie and denounced the whole company in front of everybody. Why would she be ashamed of her hatred for her outie and Lumon now?

Irving clocked in on her immediately lol. I think he figured it out so he doesn't want to tell the others what he did on the outside while she's there. Also the way "Helly" looks at Irving and says "...Yeah" to the question before this is very sus to me, can't explain it with just screenshots though.

Plus it's just the way she acts in general. Very subdued, less sassy, trying too hard to be sympathetic with Mark and the others, feels forced. There's that scene in the trailer of Helena "studying" the security camera footage of her innie, possibly to learn how to act like her. She's looking at Helly kissing Mark, and then in ep1, she offers her support to Mark to find Gemma etc... I'm not saying Helly wouldn't help Mark, but the way she tells him gives me strange vibes, and it's also strange that she decides to stay at all just for him.

11. Irving man. Just. Holy shit 😭

Also Dylan and Irving friendship!!!!!!!!!!! Screaming crying throwing up etc. Not gonna expand on this or this post would go on forever but man the actors really gave an outstanding performance. What a scene

12. Finally the big reveal of what kind of data the Macrodata Refinement boys are refining

BROOOOOOO i was. not expecting that holy fuck. So they've been "refining" the data on like. the brain? of the other severed employees through their chip? They're sorting it into bins then what? They're deleting memories? Locking them up, or sorting them between stuff they're supposed to remember as innies vs what they should forget??? Is that why the numbers are scary??? Even if that's why, how do they know the numbers are scary? Also, there is a time limit on files, right. What happens to the person associated with the file, when they don't refine it to 100% within the limit? Is this for like, every new severed employee, or just the ones on the testing floor? So many questions holy shit

Anyway thats enough rambling for this ep, I really hope in the next one we see the outies so we get some clarity on what's going on. But man what a start

[celaenaeiln]

lol hi its me 12 am anon so uh tldr is that i hung out with my friend and we got drunk and we made out or smth but more importantly they made w fuckin list of dick grayson things i started talking abt while drunk

- “bad idea right?” but its dick grayson and his exes

- bruce technically gave dick a family but dick’s the one who like truly made it feel like a family when it comes down to it he’ll fuck up bruce for his siblings

- that one “5 man band” trope and how he can fit as the leader and the heart

- into a specific (blank) to lovers? dick grayson’s got you covered

- the “barney from how i met your mother basketball hoop scene” and “eleanor from the good place mom she never had” but make it dick and bruce (teenage or adult idc i’d love both)

- nightwing could 100% be the figurehead of the dceu (like im talking spiderman level) if dc would do something [this was timed . i talked abt this for like 30 minutes all on its own]

i am . so embarrassed. also i dont know if we made out before or after the rant and i dont know which is more embarrassing .

what. what. "more importan-" NO! NO ARE YOU KIDDING ME THAT IS NOT MORE IMPORTANTLY OH MY GOD!!!

MY MIND IS LITERALLY BREAKING RIGHT NOW!

WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THAT? Do you like her? Did she say anything?! I-

WAIT DOES THAT MEAN DICK GRAYSON LITERALLY GOT YOU TWO TOGETHER?!

NO WAIT!! SHE KISSED BACK. SHE KISSED BACK!

oh my god i'm reeling.

Have you guys talked about it yet?

I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS

I LITERALLY CAN'T THINK OF DICK GRAYSON RIGHT NOW AFTER THAT BOMB YOU DROPPED ON ME BUT FINE

"Bad idea right" was literally written for Dick Grayson!

Nightwing (1996) Issue #133

"Bad idea right?"

Actually every single Olivia Rodrigo's songs feels like Dick wrote it.

Like the sour album? Every time I listen to it I imagine that Dick just wrote the album because he was so mad at bruce after being fired from Robin lol.

"bruce technically gave dick a family but dick’s the one who like truly made it feel like a family when it comes down to it he’ll fuck up bruce for his siblings"

That's true too!

Batman (2011) Issue #11

"The truth is, I didn't save you from some dark fate, those years ago. You saved me from one."

Batman (2011) Issue #11

"And you still are saving me, every day."

Bruce gave Dick security but Dick gave Bruce a life. He gave Bruce the ability to become human, to be happy.

Take Gotham War for example,

Batman (2016) Issue #138

Bruce tells Jason he's saving Jason from himself and Jason in turn asks Bruce who's going to save Bruce from himself.

Cut immediately to -

Batman (2016) Issue #138

Dick.

Dick has always been there to pull Bruce out of his darkest days when he tries or is willing but Bruce giving up on Dick's ability to do so is symbolic of him giving up on himself. It's the height of Bruce's irredeemability.

Even after Jason died, Bruce indirectly called Dick to come join him but at this point his back up personality is too far gone for him to recover.

Batman: The Return

Dick literally is the reason Bruce stays connects to the batfamily. In a good way.

He has no reservations about keeping Bruce in check.

"that one “5 man band” trope and how he can fit as the leader and the heart"

5 man band trope: one leads, one contrasts, one thinks, one fights, and one keeps all of the above from killing one another

DAMN RIGHT

He's the leader.

Batman: Gotham Nights (2020) Issue #12

And the one that keeps them all together

Batman: Gotham Nights (2020) Issue #12

Dick is the defacto leader when Bruce is gone or lost it.

Batman (2016) Issue #137

Batman (2016) Issue #704

Batman (2016) Issue #704

"Selina doesn't run Gotham. You do. While I'm away."

And the family's protector.

Batman (2016) Issue #137

"into a specific (blank) to lovers? dick grayson’s got you covered"

Yup!

Canonical:

Childhood partner to lovers - Raya Vestri

Friends to lovers - Barbara Gordon

Enemies to lovers - Shawn Tsang

Psuedo-family to lovers - Helena Wayne (they actually married in Earth 2)

Crime fighting partner to lovers - Helena Bertenelli

Kiss at first sight to lovers - Koriand'r

Pseudo-therapist to lover - Bea Bennet

Landlord to lovers - Bridget Clancy

Teammates to lovers - Zatanna

X to lovers - literally him and everyone

He's just so shippable that way. Not gonna lie, literally all of his relationships Dick and his lover have been great together.

the “barney from how i met your mother basketball hoop scene” and “eleanor from the good place mom she never had” but make it dick and bruce (teenage or adult idc i’d love both)

The New Teen Titans Issue #50

Man this hits hard. I've never seen how I met your mother but the parallels in the basketball hoop scene and Dick's talk with Bruce are uncanny.

The thing I think is weird about Dick and Bruce's relationship is that it's steeped in insecurities for each other. Dick feels hurt and betrayed and lost as to why Bruce would take in a new robin so suddenly and Bruce's tenure as Dick's robin is riddled with insecurities about him not being a good enough partner.

Batman and Robin Eternal Issue #6

However it's because of these insecurities that I believe they are close.

The difference between Barney and his dad, from what I gather from the clip, is that his dad never acted like one to Barney.

But with Dick and Bruce? Bruce was a good dad to Dick. But he was a terrible partner. Bruce treated Dick like an equal while still fielding reservations about his age and dealing with his own insecurities. Bruce knows that what he's doing is not right but at the same time Dick is far too competent. His intelligence, his athletic skills, his compassion, and his fearlessness were light years beyond anyone Bruce had ever met and Bruce acklnowledges this.

Batman and Robin, The Boy Wonder Issue #2

"The GAS was supposed to knock his OUT. His brain out to be sailing past the MOON, right now. What's this brat MADE out of?"

Batman: The Widening Gyre Issue #1

Bruce's biggest problem with Dick is literally that he talks to much.

Dick is equal in every way to Batman and even exceeds him in some ways when he was Robin itself. So Bruce pushes the responsibilities of Batman's partner on to Dick while treating his as his son, mother, therapist, and partner. And Dick steps up to that. Soon they fall into a rhythm where Dick is Bruce's one for all human interaction. So imagine when you have a constant thing with someone that you're comfortable with and they suddenly start holding back from you. They begin talking about how you're too young to handle adult responsibilities. How you shouldn't be facing that burden. Now you're confused. Those responsibilities they are criticizing you for are the very ones that depended on you for. So now you start doubting yourself and trying harder and harder to make them see that you can handle the job. While you're struggling with confusion, they're struggling with guilt.

That is Bruce and Dick's relationship. Bruce grew a conscious after 10 years and Dick can't understand it. So there comes the self-blame and strife.

What Dick doesn't understand his Bruce feels guilty of his over reliance on Dick. Dick's self-blame has come to such a point that now even when Bruce in full honesty rants about how proud he is of Dick, Dick holds reservations because if Bruce was really proud then he would dump all the responsibilities on him right?

It's really messed up.

"nightwing could 100% be the figurehead of the dceu (like im talking spiderman level) if dc would do something [this was timed . i talked abt this for like 30 minutes all on its own]"

LOL

I think the Dawn of DC does have Dick be the figurehead or at least he will be in the future. We're just getting the beginning now.

Nightwing (2016) Issue #100

Nightwing (2016) Issue #100

Nightwing (2016) Issue #100

Nightwing (2016) Issue #100

"We want you to lead."

Justice League (2011) Issue #51

It comes full circle.

[to-my-emil]

luca's 2024 letter

so i did a whole analysis/explanation/infodump about luca's newest letter on my discord server and. figured i may as well post it here! theres a lot of fun tasty things in here and some confirmation of things that have been implied in previous letters which is fun to look at. please keep in mind i dont have the entirety of every character and manor game's lore memorized so while i did double check some things i mightve missed some stuff. anyway its all below the cut since its Long have fun :)

(also feel free to chime in with any thoughts/feelings/opinions/ideas!)

so theres three sections to this letter! im gonna go section by section, but some parts of the last section are mentioned earlier so uh. sorry if you havent read it yet (id recommend u do read it first)

so part 1 is pretty fun. luca is confirmed to have survived game 10 (which also features tracy, charles, and bonbon though we dont currently know who the fourth survivor participant is) And its implied that hes the only survivor of the game (according to the "fleeting victory" thats the assumption at least). his traits w being able to connect the ciphers is also officially tied into the lore here; there are in fact wires running underneath each arena (or at the very least whichever arena lucas game was in which we dont know yet iirc) so its canon that he can do what he does in matches and its not something that the detective incorrectly deduced lorewise (idk if any of the survivor abilities are Actually incorrect deductions/not actually things that theyre doing (like for example priestess's portals, etc that seem more far-fetched) but since we know hes done other things incorrectly (like "prisoner" and "psychologist" titles being in quotes/technically wrong) i figure he mightve gotten some of those wrong too). luca is also Super Fucked Up w an unusuable left arm (and his previous injuries which we know includes at Least severe brain trauma but likely physical trauma too considering his time in prison + the leg braces) so uhhhhhhhhhhh. my money is NOT on him for the next game.

which is the fun next thing to talk about: baron deross is making him do another game!! this confirms whats implied in emmas 2022 letter (she writes "I've won the previous round, for now" which implies a second round if not more), and probably means that helena and galatea would also go through another round even though its not confirmed yet. so far we dont have a record of what happens in any second manor game for a player who has won (as far as i remember); usually what happens is entire groups are eliminated before the game and the only survivor goes on to the next round to try again by default rather than having won the game (like murro and luchino). so far luca's second game is the only one we have ANY info about for a survivor whos won their first game; we know that alva is in it and its heavily implied ann is in it (we'll get to this later) so we'll likely find out what happens once we get either of their experiment letters. its also interesting that the baron seems to reveal more information about the experiments to luca after luca won his game, but its hard to know whether thats because luca is also a scientist or if he reveals that to everyone who wins. my guess is maybe the former bc u Know luca would have questions and theres also no mention of baron deross saying anything like that in emmas, galateas, or helenas letters.

on to section 2!!! (there was a slur against disabled people in the last line of this section so. thats whats blocked out)

OKAY SO. definitely confirmed that hes in a second manor game, its not even subtext its just right there. assuming the "mechanisms" refer to the same mechanisms that are running under the arena and connecting the cipher machines my guess is that this is what he used to shock other participants?? rather than just being to conduct electricity through himself like he does in the game?? idk thats just spaghetti at the wall its not clear here how he actually got shocked and why. it Is clear that he passed the fuck out at some point or another/his memory issues have gotten worse and the wiki points to that guy in his dream being hermann, so that's. interesting. theres an implication here that luca and hermann used to be closer, but once luca started w physics hermann went mmmm time to stop being a father. which. checks out knowing hermann. whats even more interesting is that luca calls hermanns ideas "ludicrous fantasies" that are neither idealistic nor realistic, because like luca you went and did THE EXACT SAME THING. BRO HE WORKED ON PERPETUAL MOTION. YOURE WORKING ON PERPETUAL MOTION. IM SORRY YOU CANT CLOWN ON UR DAD FOR RUINING HIS LIFE OVER PERPETUAL MOTION WHEN U DID LITERALLY THE EXACT SAME THING

anyway.

i do wonder if this is meant to imply that hermann was in fact actually working on a More ridiculous version of perpetual motion or if luca is just biased as hell against hermann. im banking on the latter there is no way in hell that luca is a reliable narrator considering all his memory issues + his general tendency to outright grab people hes mad at by the throat (<- fun fact we see this at least twice once in alvas backstory video and again in gattos backstory video. luca is the same across all timelines). also implications that hermann became an alcoholic. im guessing as a kid luca was told it was medicine and he hasnt put the pieces together?? or its ironic. idk could be either with him. i highly doubt its actually medicine. ALTHOUGH. theres an alternate explanation here; when luca says "swallow them down" i initially thought he was referring to hiding his "final feelings", since sometimes swallowing down feelings is a phrase used for that kind of thing. but potentially this could be implying that hermann had luca take some kind of medicine potentially to get rid of those feelings in some way?? personally i think its the former because we already know hermann was wasting his life and money so becoming an alcoholic would be an easy answer, but this is probably just because i dont have any answers if it were the latter. something to think about

now the third part, which gives us info about the next manor game!

so first the "gaunt old man" is (according to the wiki which i agree with in this case) mad eyes, which makes sense because mad eyes was involved in game 8/9 right before this and game 10 was filled with inventors + bonbon so it only makes sense he was there. no idea where he went though. whats more fun is that luca is now In The Fucking basement Walls where mad eyes used to be bc luca doesnt trust the rest of the participants. considering the "abnormal eyes" and that alva is here we know for sure that this is those related to the eye of darkness cult, which means ann is also definitely there. whats even more interesting is that this implies the existence of at least one more member of the eye of darkness cult whos going to be in this game; luca says "new participants" and "these people", and considering how specific the letters usually are with other things i would guess hed say "those two" if it were only ann and alva (of course its possible that theyre the only two have arrived at the writing of this journal, but considering he refers to a ritual coming up soon my money is on all the participants being of the cat cult except luca). luca makes a good note that this new game is likely the opposite of the previous and more focused on religion/spirituality which checks out w the participants, but DAMN hes an asshole about their writing style LMAO. sorry luca not everyone can have the same notes u do

the "brother in faith" guy here is alva, and i personally believe that he can in fact believe see through walls just bc thats funny as hell. just kidding its likely because luca is not as subtle he thinks he is because alva Literally Knows Him. other people might not be able to know hes there but like. that guys also a scientist. hed be able to figure out that theres someone in the walls AND he does in fact know luca. its difficult to tell bc of lucas memory issues but this probably also implies that alva looks very different from how he did in life (i doubt its as tall/etc as in his hunter form since thats what they all see when drugged not what he Actually looks like but im sure theres some stuff like his shorter hair/grayish skin/etc that carries across). i for one am fucking thrilled that theyre in a game together bc oh my god this is a time bomb and im just waiting to watch it explode (again).

as for the last line about a ritual... teehee. im very excited for whatever this is going to be and its killing me that this is the Only Information we have on it so far. likely we're going to have to wait for more alva and ann letters on this one, as well as whoever the third eye of darkness cult member is going to be, but i have no doubt that we'll have some more info eventually. if i had to take a guess its going to heavily affect how game 10-2/11 turns out; i highly doubt any ritual goes on without a sacrifice, and, well... theres only one guy here whos not already part of the cult. things are not looking great for lucas future.

[b3anieperson]

Hey everyone, this is Chapter 3 of The Letter, you can find chapters 1 and 2 here.

Warnings under the cut

Quick warning for this chapter, there are mature themes, (Yes I'm well aware that this is Fourth Wing of all things-), that may be triggering to some.

TW: Suicidal Ideation, Grieving

I don't sleep that night. I don't attend my classes, nor do I attend dinner. Hell, I wouldn't eat if it wasn't for Emek or Helena, or any of my foster siblings. Even though I did eat, I ate small, only a few bites until Emek was content that I'd eaten enough.

Lady Burnam doesn't check in, but I'm sure she knows, because I have yet to be reprimanded for skipping my studies.

All that goes through my head is Liam. I've read through my letter book six times in the last hour, skimming through the letters I've received from Liam years ago- some of the last times I had ever spoken to my brother.

Emek has been telling me what to expect- its all mainly information of what he's gotten from Xaden and Garrick- or some other rider. I'm slumped over my letter book, my hand tracing the frailed edges of the paper.

-so Xaden hit his head on the tree in the courtyard, he's okay, but Garrick and I won't stop making fun of him.

Duke Lindell is making us all go to the Reunification Festival. We have to put on these stuffy shirts, like the ones Mom used to put us in when we'd go to dinner, do you remember those? Yeah, they're a lot like those.

I wish you could come to this one, but I don't think Lady Burnam would be willing to send us all together again. I miss you, and I'll try to ask Duke Lindell if I can get a wagon to go and see you by your birthday, gods, fifteen already, you've grown up.

Did you finally cut your hair? I know Eya was pestering you about it- you know you don't have to, I know how much you love your long hair.

I don't have much more of a letter to write, but I'll expect one back soon Sloane, I love you.

-Liam

My heart drops as it reaches the end, like it's done with every letter, like it's the last time he said goodbye. But I didn't get that. I wont ever get that.

I flip several pages and find another letter, it's from Liam. I don't know when my mind decided that it would be much more useful to pocket where my brothers letters were in the book, but it did, and I couldn't be happier.

Dear Sloane,

How are you holding up? Are you still having the nightmares you had in the cart? If you are, Garrick said Eya (I'm pretty sure that's the oldest with you, right?) Anyways, he said she knew a thing or two about getting rest, what remedies to take and whatnot.

Is your town celebrating that Navarre won the war too? There's fireworks every night here in Trivainne, and though Xaden won't admit it, I know he's not sleeping well.

Just remember that you are strong, and you're gonna be okay. I promise. I'm still here, even if Mom and Dad aren't, I'm still your big brother, and you can always talk to me.

I love you so much, Sloane. Please don't forget that and do something stupid. I love you.

-Liam

'-dont forget that and do something stupid.' I scoff. Garrick and Imogen had told me the exact same thing. I want to do the stupidest thing. I want to see Liam again.

My heart pains again, and I close the book and curl up on my side, pulling the blanket over my shoulder. It all hurts. Everything. I don't think I'll ever not hurt. To think that the aches of losing Mom and Dad just started to go away.

My eyes feel heavy, and even though I know I'll only have a nightmare, at least it's bound to be about Liam. Gods, Liam. He won't be there when I cross the Parapet. He won't be there to cheer me on as I land in the flight field at Threshing.

Fuck it. I swing my legs out to the side of the bed and shove my feet into my slippers. I make the thirty feet to the door feel like it's a hundred. I push, and it gives way.

Drinn sits in the hallway, and his eyes meet mine, "Hey Sloane, are you alright?" I nod. He doesn't push, and he brings his knees to his chest as I walk past.

I make my way down the steps and across the giant commons room, and to the glass door that leads outside. The courtyard isn't nearly as large as Aretia's was, but Trinitham House has the same structure as Riorson House. East Elsum was much more different from Tyrrendor, a whole new terrain.

Walking a ways down the road, I sit down on the swing Eya and Emek set up 3 years ago for Bryn and Kahla.

We used to have a swing like this, my dad would sit me on his knee and read me a book while my mom and Liam would grab apples from the tree to use for target practice.

I stand and look at the rope that hangs from the tree that we used to dive into the pond, we just replaced it last year, it's sturdy.

I twirl the rope in my fingers while I think.

This is the only way I can see any of them again.

Mom, Dad, Liam, Fen Riorson, Mrs. Cardulo, any of them, I will give anything to see them again.

I twirl the rope once, and make a simple but sturdy slip knot. Mom taught me how to stitch, that's one thing I'll thank her for when I see her.

I step back, and breathe. My hands are shaking heavily, but I don't care, I need to see them again. My family.

Please, Malek, take me, take me like you took them.

How did this even happen? He was so fucking strong. Xaden said Deigh was strong. How does Liam Jamison Mairi die, and his dragon, a fucking dragon, die?

More importantly, how does breakable, tiny, daughter-of-a-murderous-psychopath Sorrengail, live? Or live so she could see my brother die, then get conveniently stabbed.

Fuck I swear if she lives and I see her I'll fucking stab her right then and there, no question no contest. My brother did not die for her sorry ass.

I drop the rope, and I wipe the tears that have been streaming down my face.

I will not see Liam again, until I see the face of the reason he died. If she lives. If she doesn't, well, running at first formation is always a second option.

[kendelias]

All the creator questions from the Pride ask game? <3

14. Do you have ocs on the aro or ace spectrum?

i do!! quite a few actually. helena (svu oc <3) is asexual, i JUST made an aromantic oc who i've yet to intro in Any capacity (soon soon after im done being ill <3), and i have a bunch of demisexual (cordelia, murphy, etc) and demiromantic (declan, jo, etc) ocs!! there are a bunch actually but ill spare you the full details xoxo

15. Do any of your ocs use neopronouns? Which ones?

hmmm ya know what i don't yet!! i have a couple who are like. whatever about pronouns though so i guess that could be applicable to them!

16. Did you ever change an oc’s identity when they were already established? Why?

oh yeah for sure. zac became pansexual when he picked himself a whole second love interest LDNFKLNFK

17. Do you share identity with any of your ocs? Which ones?

i have so. many. bisexual ocs. bc it's a little piece of me i like to give out like candy <3 vi is a pretty notable one, sage and esther and iyu... yeah it'd be easier to ask me who ISN'T bisexual

18. Do you prefer to give your ocs specific labels, or keep it unspecified? Why? If applicable, do you change their labels depending on circumstance?

it depends on the oc!! they're like. little people in my head. so some are comfortable with or prefer a label, some really don't care and leave it up to my discretion, and some are like "no. unlabeled. goodbye."

19. Do you have preferences about depicting homo/transphobia in your stories? What, and why? Does it vary by story?

hm i dont think so?? you know i just kind of do whatever feels right for the tone of the show and the character too

20. Have your ocs helped you in self discovery? How?

oh absolutely. i've spent a lot of time examining gender and sexuality through my ocs, as well as like. mental health. i think i'm pretty comfortable with myself but i think it's always worth exploring these things through writing!!

21. Free ramble card wee

WEEEE ummmm do i have anything to talk about. idk. i'll say this - out of 100+ ocs, i have ten heterosexuals. which i think says way more about me than it does about any of them LKNFNFKNFL

send me pride themed asks!

[thisdreamplace]

I don’t know if this is the right place to ask this, but I need advice if that’s okay😭 I’ve been keeping up with your account since I think autumn of 2021 ? Since one of my old tumblr accounts.

So a few months ago in Late July/early August was when everything within me crashed in regard to manifesting/spirituality. I’ve been on this journey since July 2018, so I’m not new but I’ve never really had any success. In Late July I started to research the history behind many popular figures in the community. (Like the fraud behind Abraham Hicks & her husband who was a distributor for the MLM Amway) It all just made me feel so defeated.

A lot of people say manifesting is rooted in Hinduism, but Hindus don’t practice any of this. If they do practice it, it’s because they practice the whole new age movement as a whole which at that point they’re just doing a hodgepodge nonsense mix of everything.

There really is no place for any of this anywhere…

I did research on Helena Blavatsky and how she basically gave birth to the new age movement, and how she is where the “Hindus practice LOA” comes from, as well as the modern day concept of Karma. She did it by misinterpreting texts from religions and plagiarizing from her favorite fiction books. Just learning that alone crushed EVERYTHING in me. Like I felt so emptied out in such a bad way.

But this is where truly everything crashed for me: I know a lot of people say Neville Goddard isn’t new age and I agree, but his work (and the new age movement) is branching off of the New Thought movement , and The New Thought Movement was a progression of the religion Christian Science. There’s this woman called Mary Baker Eddy, and she founded the religion “Christian Science”, and in that religion they believed that the body is an illusion as well as the senses (basically non-dual teachings), and that they are all made of perfect love. But they called sickness, disease, etc. an “error”. Instead of calling something lack, they said it was error. They did mental diets and refused medication, obviously their faith didn’t heal them and there are so many deaths. it was the fastest growing religion at some point and now its almost completely dead.

here are some quotes from Mary Baker Eddy:

- “Hold thought steadfastly to the enduring, the good, and the true, and you will bring these into your experience proportionately to their occupcany of your thoughts.”

- “There is no life, truth, intelligence, nor substance in matter. All is infinite Mind, and its infinite manifestation, for God is All in All. Spirit is immortal Truth; Matter is mortal error.”

so like.. it sounds right doesn’t it? it sounds like what we would hear in the manifestation community and that scares me because why didn’t we learn from the massive flop that her religion was? She was secretly physically ill herself and even ran away to another state to escape all the troubles that the teachings were causing. I feel so upset.

People have died from extreme living in the end and there are still some people dying. And so it’s like: where do I go from here now??

oOooOoo this is a fun one uwu

tbh with you, its a VERY interesting take that you have here! like wow you really did your research but for what exactly? to prove to yourself why you never succeed? in (almost) every major religion, there has been evil, blood, death, etc. throughout history but all because theyre highly recognized across societies you would call them successful? i cant agree with that personally by the looks of it lol

i think that the thing is that i dont really care, personally, about any of these people you mentioned. even neville, god bless his heart, did a lot for my understanding of this journey but hes not my god. you put so much into these people and yet, it seems youve left nothing for yourself.

why does it matter what mary baker eddy said and did? do you want to live her lifestyle? follow her path? or would you rather create your own? i dont feel impacted by any of these stories youve shared, because ive already created my own path and been my own proof. i dont need them to validate my way of my life. ive made it myself.

actually, if you found something that relates to you, you could use it but drop the rest if you so see fit. this journey is much more personal than any religion and its followers ever make us seem to feel. because its not a religion we’re dealing with, its an outlook. and while its sad so many people were affected negatively (and actually continue to be affected in this community) doesnt mean the teachings have no basis. unfortunately, there will always be those who prey on the desperate, which is why ive tried hard to be very honest and real in my blog to help those who feel lost.

i guess because you didnt find success you wanted proof that these ideologies are ridden with failure and theres some dark, spooky past but for me it doesnt matter because you find that anywhere. even the “great” religions of today are riddled with gruesome pasts.

so at the end of it all, what are you left with? the same exact thing you began with. yourself, and how you want to show up in the world and what you want to believe about it, and about yourself. thats truly all it comes down to. not what anyone else said. but what you say.

so what do you say? do you ever listen to yourself enough, sit in the silence of meditation enough to hear exactly what your heart is telling you is the truth?

if not, thats where you go from here now :) go back to self, and stop looking for reasons why you cant and why not and etc etc and just start with, and end with yourself. because you were the only one who ever mattered in the achievement of your dreams 🫧

[jils-things]

HIHIII FOR THE S/I ASK GAME. 3, 9, 15, and 16 FOR AINE OR IRENE? THANK YOU 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

NAUR I GOT EXCITED CUZ THIS IS AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT SET OF OCS OMG YES. THANK YOU. DOING BOTH BECAUSE YES..

3. how do the other characters generally feel about your self insert?

i dont think many would actually know aine's... present because she's holed up in her house for so long... probably her relatives only know about her existence wiwiwi but! she's generally very shy and quiet, not very used to talking to others! but she tries her best to be sweet :3

irene is ... probably envied by many people! i mean she's part of a prestigious family and she's very pretty! she's not like most women of her age who can be pretty uptight (at least i think so...) - she's very humble about her wealth and doesnt go out of her way to shove how fortunate she is... its all because of her old past that she's very gentle and considerate :3

9. who are your self insert’s closest friends?

unfortunately as i've said earlier, poor baby aine doesnt have much friends, but she's very, very close and trusting of her gallade who acts as her best friend and guardian no matter where she is. she always finds comfort in gallade. but if i had to pick one person who would be her close friend, it would be erika - i think she'd help aine be more relaxed and less nervous about herself and sleepy times together LAFDKSLKFSKA. i wanna plug blake into the story as well, i can totally see him to be a big brother to aine and i picture blake to be more friendly! aine needs nice company, she needs it for sure ;; softcore version of color pallet trio . cold pallet trio if you will. bye

right off the bat, i just told myself "yes irene and emma are best friends" emma probably provides the best chamomile and irene looooves tea. they bond over that heheheh. maybe helena and tracy too! i have such soft spots for them and i really like them! irene definitely doesnt like nobles that much (i excuse reynold however. eheh). i would include naib, but i dont think it would work out? im just biased wiwiwi

15. how does your self insert play a role in the plot of the story? do they help directly defeat the villain, support the heroes, etc.?

AINE STOPS THE ACTUAL FROSTBITE. THAT IS ALL. IM TOO SHY TO TALK ABT ***VELVETSHIPPING HERE IM SORRY WHDASDSAHJFHJFSASF </3333 he stops caring about trying hard for himself to be stronger and helps aine out instead and feels that she deserves better and focuses on that <3

irene umm,, gives him,,, the love and care he lacked as a kid,, wiwiiw,,, she takes him in after the explosion and nurses him to health and they confess they like each other and they promise to figure things out from there and shes dead serious about taking him into a better place because he's gone too far to make ends meet WEEWEFGGFGF MY BRAIN IM (BLEATS PATHERTICALLY)

16. freebie! name a fact about your self insert you want everyone to know.

aine has two "endings" on what happens when she sees him. one is the happy route where, yk, they get along, yadda yadda, romance, bonding, all that jazz. the second ending is... a little more unfortunate. basically she was a bit too late, because he's frostbitten now, and she regrets leaving her home and will probably stay at home more often now because the world is much more terrifying than she suspected. poor girl

irene is made with the purpose of wanting to ship with someone in the game yes - but the plot twist was that i was not actually crushing on no.rton at the time (he was just a fav) but found him to be a cute match with irene and i did just that. and then my dumbass fell for him shortly after HSAJKFHJAFHSFJSA im so doopid woawwww....

[mikeywayimdykeygay]

OKAY IT'S MIDNIGHT IT'S TIME

helena - the hi hat in the intrro is so clear OH MY GOD THE BASS anf the SNARE fucks sake and ohh muy fos it aounds so good THINGS ARE BETTER IF I STAYYY the individual guitar parts beinf panned in each ear im honna kil muself the backhrpind vocals STOP ojay ojkat bridge time WOAH JAW ON THE FLOOR i need to shoot this like heroin are uou KIDDING ME

give em hell kid - i already heard this one but STILL im gonna kill something with my teeth the bass is so GOOD AND THE DEVIL KNOWS WHERE TP FIND MEEE im shaking the backhround vocaks YOURE BEAUTIGUL the vocals in the choris are doubled i never notuced that or have they alwasy been like that AOME.MIGHT SAY OWAH OWOAH the guotar whammy bar bit at the end of the bridge im taking hostages rn WELL THERES NO WAY IM KISSING THAT GUY oh my god the stacked voclas

to the end - THE LEAD GUITAR IN THE VERSE IM GONNS CRY oh fuvk SAY GOODBYE owoahowoahowoah THE BASS IN THE SECOND VERSE im losing muy everloving shit rn you dobt understabd im shaking so hard i thought i was manic warlier becuase i was so hyped up but i habent seen the hat man and i can look in the mirror without getting scared so nope THE GUITAR SOLO fuckkk toooo theeee endddd

prison - in the middle of a gunfight. in the center of a ratruarnt BASS HELLO MIKEY BABYGIRL ive alwyas loved that little walkdoen so muvh THE SCREAM ON NOW oh fu kv RAY RAY ARY RAY AUGHHH well i CAAAAYAYAN im still not over the panned guitatrs im gonna rio y skin off DO YOU HAEB THE KEYS TO THE HOTEL i go down with my FRIENDDDSSS thats you mutuals they wrote this song about us

im not okay - fucj fcuk fuckk yiyre kidding ne rn the drums sound so good in the intro and the palm muting rhuthm oart in the right ear YOU WEAR ME OUTTTT i held you close as we botrh shook for thte last time TAKE A GOOD HARD LOOK RAHHHH im gonna crash my car to this guitat solo one day THE VOCALS IN THE SOLO WHERE DID UOU COME FROM and the OOHHH OHH OHH BIT stop the piaho tone is so strong TRUST ME NOT O FUCKING KAY

ghost of you - i usually skio this one because i love myself byt i'll listen for the sake of the album the lead sounds so much clearer WOAH THE CHORIS HAS SOME PUNCH MOTHERFUCKER everrrrr SHE DIESSS the backi[p on should iiiiii has me shaking mu hands autisticly OH FUCK THE BASS IN THE BRIDGE and the vocals sound like they fif on the live album i usef to live and die by lotms video album okay okay waiitnf for the transition now its gonna be so good

jetset life - oh my god oh my god oh my gof i cant waut untjl ii habe this on cd so that it doesnt do the streaming skip thing WELL ALRIGHT GIVE UPPPP im acutllu pullong at mu hair SOMETHING ELSE IN MIND checkinto the HOTEL BELA MUERTE those pinch harmonics i need to be sedated take me to the vet theyre putting me down goodbye we had a good run PULLL THE PLUG hoooooldin ONNN AW SUGARR gpd the kick is so fucking solid awww sugarrr

interlude - man man man im so fucked you know whats nect comeeee angels ooof the loooord

venom - man the streaming skiip suckks THE BREATHS HELLO man this has so much punch in it THE FLOOR TOM STOP ITTT if you PAID ME MY JAW DROPPED this is gonna go so hard in my car syereo FIRE AT WILLLLLL whos gonna SAVE ME im ill im sick im gonna throw up and die the GUITAR SOLO and the DRUMS ARE SO CRUNVHY give me a BETTER CAUSEEE TO LEAD my shoulders are locked up my body is in crisis mode RAH

hang em high - oh bitch ive been qaiting for this one HELLO THE DEPTH and teh SCREAM HERES UPUIR ANSWER IN SPADEEESSS the guitat panning fucks so hard im geting railed in both ears double penetration guitar THAT GIRLS NOT RIGHT IN THE BRAINNNN KEITH MORRIS HELLO I ADORE YOU i fucking love black flag you dont understand DOOONT STOPPP DONT STOP DPNT STOP

deathwish - YOULL GET A LIFETIMEEE the slight revverb kill me now and get it over with the bass is so beautigul im engaed to this bass uoure all invited to the wedding YOULL KILL MU ENEMRIESS just you and i UOUR SYARLESS EYES REMAINNN HIP HIP HPPRAY FOR MEE i jusgt drew blood gnawing on my kips EVERY BREATH I TAKE ITS SO PUNCHY THE BACKGROUND VOCALLS IM ACTUALLY HYPERBENTALATING AND THE DOUBLE VOCALS ON THE PART THIS HOLE YOU PUT ME INN fuck me im necer recoverinbg CHANGING COLORRRRSSS asn the and we will be with you STOP IT GERARD i lost my fear of falling I WOLL GE WITH YOU

cemetery drive - the snare im honna kill muself woth a knife and give ypu guys the blood THE BASS STOP IT AND THEY FOUND YOU ON THE BATHROOM FLOORRRR the so far sounds so fucjin bangin man stull losinf my shit over the lead and rhythm beinf split THE WHISPERY VOCALS HELLO how is it 12;35 iy has NOT veen 35 minutes WAY DOWNNNNNN im rocking back and forth i cant do this waaaay downnnnnn

do for a living - TBE PICK SLIDEEE oh my god the bass im never shuttug uo about the bass i dont care im a bassist im allowed IM SO DIRTY BABEEE i cant eben breaathe i keep habig to stop typing to shake my hanfs autsitivly THE BRUDDGE HOLY FUVK I TRIEEEDDDD ITS SO VRUNCHY IM HONNA EXPLODE AND IM TAKING YOU MOTHERFUCKERS WITH ME and we're allllll deeeeaaad nowwww THE BASS THE BASS THE BASS RAHHHH I LIEEEEDDDDD and were allllll deaaaadddd nowwwwwww

okay okay live tracks time im gonna piss musr;f im panting i can gear my heartbeat so loud and i keep punchinhg nysekf in the chest ti stim but im wearinf si many chains it just makes a loud noise

im not okay - fuck man uou said it i really an not okay i love you ray toro GO gerard sounds so deranged i adore them ive already heard thus on here but still its a shock okay im not used to things sounding this fucking good YOU WEAR ME OUTTT dunno what it means gerard gerard help me TAK W A GOOD HARD LOOK THANK YOU FRANK oOoOooUTTT GUITAR the dissonant guitar inthe left ear inthe bridge NOT O FUCK9ING KAY HI RAY

helena ahain they weren't kiddinf hi babyhirl

WAIT EHY ARE THE LASY THREE TRACKS BLACKED OUT IM TAKING HOSTAGES NOBODY MOVE

okau itll come out in like june or some shit right ill live

this has been a dykeygay live reaction im so sorry

[just-some-random-blogger]

*unintelligible whispers* Huh? *louder unintelligible whispers* Come again? *chapter 19 of tormented spirits has been dropped* WHAT?!! 😀😍

So...Long time no see.

the joy I felt when I got onto Tumblr and saw that chapter 19 had been posted. unimaginable. lets chat abt it.

MY BABY CARAEXES 🥲😭 I WANT HIM TO LIVE AND BE HAPPY AND SASSY AND BITCHY AGAIN!!!!!

IF HE DIES ILL TROW A FIT AND MAKE A FUCKING SCENE IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS GROCERY STORE.

"What of her?"

at first i was like:

That does not sound very girls girl of you rhea..... get your shit together honey.

but then:

She scoffs and raises her brows, "do you forget, she wrote to you and you never once responded?"

and i was like:

NEVER MIND SHE IS A GIRLS GIRL😍🫶 (i was scared for a moment)

That my bones hurt. THEY FUCKING SHOULD DAEMON YOU WHORE.

"she nearly stood up today." HELENA MY BABYYYYYYYYY 😭🥰 I LITERALLY JUST WANT ALL OF THE TARGTOWERS TO GET HAPPY CHILDHOODS

"I would take you with me," he reaches for your hand, "but I am to travel by sea and I fear too greatly your health will worsen on the way." Gold star for dae on this one (he literally did the bare fucking minimum and showed love and care for his wife and her health)

Otto. ew. cunt. i am on team daemon now. like. ew otto.

"Mummy," Aegon points a chubby finger, "gravy please." YES HE CAN HAVE ALL THE GRAVEY HE WANTS MY LITTLE BABY BOY ANGEL WHO CAN DO NO WRONG 😍🤩

You kiss his cheek, stealing his words and his breath at once.

When i tell you. I fucking screamed.

like, the joy i felt. that these two. showed normal. healthy. affection. that a normal. healthy. relationship should show.....

I need to raise my standards.... BACK TO WATCHING DAVID TENNANT AND MATT SMITH AS THE DOCTORS AGAIN IG!!!!

AND THEN THEY DID HEALTHY AND NIRMAL THINGS THAT A HEALTHY AND NORMAL ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP SHOULD DO!!! YIPPIE!!!!

dare it be love? YES IT IS! OUR GIRL IS GETTING LOVED, LAID (hopefully in the future, by her husband because god forbid that our girl pulls a daemon) AND PAID (he is a prince so....sugar baby time!)

"Fair..." you sigh, clutching his cheeks, "nary equates to right." AMEN SISTER!

"What do you think it means?"... EWWW!! "And remember it was I who took who your daughter's maidenhead" Oh this is HOT.LIKE.HOT HOT.

anyway this was a LONG one (thats what she said), i hope you're doing well, you never let me down and i am truly so happy that you are still writing this series because it truely does bring me happiness seeing a new chapter be dropped, and i've read so many fanfics were they were so well written but the author just stopped. so thank you. for doing this 🩷 I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day or evening and never every experience writers burn out! ~🫶

HI <3 i LOVE asks <3 your ask literally made me work double time on p20 <3 (which is also out now <3)

dont worry about caraxes. he's gonna be okay <3 just did it for the plot, sorry noodle ): and Rhaenyra <3 she's .... idk if shes a girls girl, shes honestly a girls girl if it benefits her and i think its pretty canon considering her upbringing etc. idk i think about what alicent told said the day aemond lost his eyes 'once again smth smth is trampled under your pretty foot' ya know

That my bones hurt. THEY FUCKING SHOULD DAEMON YOU WHORE.

HAHAH GAGGED. FAX 📠💯😩😗🍵👌

i love that you love helaena. i love that everyone loves the targtowers 🥺🫶 my babies fr. i still have plans for them so continue to love them <3 AND IM HAPPY YOU LIKE THE GRAVY SCENE WEEEEE

also ??? you were on team otto once??? HAHHAAH SLAYED. pls read p20 for me and tell me what you think 💕

daemon doing the bare minimum yet appearing so endearing is so real. tells you how much abuse yn's been through. poor girl 😬. IM GLAD YOU LIKE THE SCENE WHERE SHE KISSED HIS CHEEK ALSLASFAS ngl i was like.... am i rushing this HHAHAHAH (its been 19 chapters HAHAHAHAHAHA YET STILL AM I RUSHING THIS?) i love it when they love <3 because they dont have a lot of time for it.

She definitely deserves to be loved and laid and paid fr fr 💯💥 .... what if she does pull a daemon 👀🫦. i really like that fact that you like the yn's reasoning of fairness not being right. i was a bit worried people will be like boooo a good person 🙄✋ lame. so thank you <3

and otto again HAHAHAH. what do you think it means? JAAJ

"And remember it was I who took who your daughter's maidenhead" Oh this is HOT.LIKE.HOT HOT.

i cant believe you think this is hot... HAHHAHAH i mean i get it??? HAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHH feels a bit machismo ngl

thank you so much for your sweet words my love. i do love this fic so much as well and im so incredibly grateful for you and everyone who takes their time to send such things to me <3 i am actually an author that stops posting 😶 but its because of the incredible community this fic has built that has really kept me going. im so excited to write this again im already workin on p21 <3

i love you 🫶 anon

[feistypuppythatwantstowatchball]

I'm glad that we got the confirmation they believe her. I know JHC wouldn't go against Zeudi right now anyway but it's good to know they actually believe her and see how unfair she is being treated

The thing is that they are even slightly fair in their critiques, no one is a victim and no one was innocent in the situation. 3 adults were involved and each did things that werent nice towards the others. They dont blame Javi or Helena more, they just dont put all the blame on the 23yo.

[morphringwiselove]

Helena for me represents a strange mix of hoping my life will change and my cynicism. Like she's an idealistic version of myself but still "realistic" and existing in the world of BTD (which I like to jokingly call "what if Canada but evil >:))

Shes extremely standoffish and really isn't the type to entertain small talk, which makes her come off as bitchy to others.

In an attempt to act like she has her shit together, she puts her own survival as top priority. She won't throw someone under the bus, though, that'll give her too much of a guilty conscience.

She's not altruistic, but she's not selfish either.

She's in a a better stage in her life, where she's on her own but still struggling. While her circumstances aren't ideal, its where I would rather be than right now.

I struggle with people socially and people often give me shit for it. I've neurodivergent so my brain functions differently. My lack of eye contact makes me look shifty when I dont mean to. My brain gets overwhelmed trying to process people's faces in real time. I also cant stand still at all.

I tend to burn myself out to make other people happy- sadly that's just how I've been raised and that's what been enforced throughout my whole life.

The existence of Helena let's me explore these assumptions that people irl had of me, and to also let me see some future I could have. What if I did say fuck it and not give people what they want? Who will I become once I'm on my own? What if i wasnt as "straight edge" as i am in real life? Will I finally be able to exist as a "me" I could be proud of?

I depict Helena with piercings that I would like to get. Clothing too (still deciding how tf to dress her, I only have a few key items in mind). I feel like im forced to live life with default settings on at all times and I hate it.

When I played BTD, Lawrence struck a chord with me. It felt like seeing a mirror. I didn't like what I was seeing. IRL I would gush about him like crazy like a complete loser, so I made Helena have like a really strained relationship with him ie strangers >coworkers >strangers >enemies >stockholm >eldritch beings lol. It's my weird way of acknowledging "yes I know he does evil things, I'll still let him hit at least he fucking gets me". My weird I'll have my cake and eat it too sorta thing.

Helena also represents some of the kinks im ashame to admit to?? Like role-playing as someone as obsessive, knifeplay, cnc, etc. I dont know what the hell it is, but I really like runny mascara and eyeliner. I'm no where good enough to depict it through art but they're aspects that are apart of her.

She also represents a lot of my mental health issues. It let's me acknowledge myself in third person and explore it. I dont have access to a therapist due to funding and family disapproval, so I could at least console myself to some degree. I always feel like im stuck in a cycle of being built up to falling apart and to finally write out some part of it was extremely cathartic to me.

These games gave me a will to live again in a weird way. Yes, they're horrorporn, murdersims, horror erotica, whatever, I know, but it made me realize something. I keep on dying in these games, yet I don't accept it as my "finale". I keep on looking other ways to survive (or die, really lol). Just because I couldn't figure it out the first time doesn't mean I just accept it as is. I need to keep going until I'm satisfied with it.

I'm trying to apply that mentality to my everyday life now.

A question for people who have BtD OCs:

What do your OCs represent? Whether they are from BtD or not, do they hold a deeper meaning? Are they a reflection of parts of yourself, like a feeling or an emotion, channeled into a character? Or perhaps they’re a collection of things that have happened to you—or things you wish had happened? Maybe they’re a product of your imagination, with bits and pieces of you mashed into them to create someone entirely new?

I’ll give an example; Matthew represents the anger, frustration and aggression I feel, the chance to fight back without cowering out, the revenge that could have been mine— that because I’m a woman, I can’t fight back against what’s hurting me. He has justice in his hands, a will that allows him to carve his own path. He’s brave and tough, hard, mean, and rough—never a crybaby, Matthew has the ability to fight back, take back what’s his and feel proud. He embodies the feelings that should stay locked away, buried deep, because he’s a man, and men shouldn’t be soft, gentle, or kind. Those emotions are buried beneath a cold exterior, deep inside a rock-like shell, untouched and confused. His trauma molded him into the man he is today, every mistake, regret, and thought of “What if I had done that instead?” Or “I really regret doing that”. Friends lost along the way and the pieces of himself he’s left behind, all shape who he is now. Life’s journey twisted him, and sometimes, he barely recognizes the man staring back at him in the mirror.

Matthew doesn’t want to pickup the old broken pieces of shattered glass from the floor to rebuild the broken man he was before. Because if he did that, he’d be wasting his time.

[xo8ball]

OK OK OK FAVR SONG FROM EVERY FOB/MCR ALBUM (if I listed MV's too I'd be here all day :] )

FOB

TTTYG: Dead on Arrival (my grandpa likes this one so I like it too!!)

FUTCT:Dark Alley, or Get Busy Living!!

IOH: I'm Like a Lawyer, or G.I.N.A.S.F.S!!

Folie á Deux: Headfirst Slide, 27, or West Coast Smoker!

SRAR:,,,the entire album,,,

AB/AP: ...the entire album is such a fucking banger

MANIA: The Last of the Real Ones, HOLD ME TIGHT OR DONT, Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea

SM(F)S: THE ENTIRE ALBUM IS SUCH A FUCKING BANGERRRR AUGH

MCR

Bullets: Honey, This Mirror isnt big enough for the both of us, Our Lady of Sorrows, and vampires will never hurt you!!

Three Cheers:The Ghost of You, To The End, It's not a fashion statement, it's a deathwish (it's not on the actual thing but I love Desert Song)

Black Parade:This Is How I dissapear, Dead!, Mama

DD:TLOTFK: EVERY SINGLE SONG ON HERE FUCKS.

Conventional Weapons: Boy Division, Tommorows Money, The World is Ugly, AMBULANCE

Black Parade/Living With Ghosts:All The Angels, Emily, Not That Kind of Girl!!

(Sorry if this list is kinda long, I'm just normal about these albums :]]] )

you're on tumblr who is normal here :3 (positive)

granpa has taste me thinks!!!!! AND I GETTT ITT its so hard choosing from srar and abap theyre INSANELY cool <3 SMFS MY BELOVED THEY DID DROP A BOMB LIKE THAT AND PRETEND I WAS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT. NO IM NOT I'M BETTER THAN EVER

for mcr, YES desert song deserves that spot from here to the moon (and from the earth to the morgue) ALL THE ANGELS AND EMILY MY ULTRA BELOVEDDDDSSS <3 love that living with ghosts is there you just get it buddy

nows my turn heehaaa!

fob

tttyg : postcards specially has my whole heart, sounds so... TEENAGER. special mentions to : saturday, chicago, dead on arrival, and calm before the storm

futct : i definitely have a fave and it's XO can you see.... but as corny as it is, i love dance dance, and also nobody puts baby, 7 minutes, snitches and talkers, music or misery, and get busy! never gets old :]

ioh : SO HARD BECAUSE ITS BANGER AFTER BANGER ..... defo hum hallelujah because i love her so bad! golden too, carpal tunnel, fame > infamy, youre crashing, ive got this ringing, after life of the party and dont you know who i think i am :3 (DID I LIST ALL OF THEM IDK... LOL LMAO)

FOLIE... you cabt do this to meeee..... literally cant stop listening to the whole album its all good! but top top top Mega Top faves are headfirst slide, suitehearts, 27, what a catch, shipped gold standard and disloyal order, but cant pity 13 queens against eachother<3

ON SRAR ITS SO BAD FOR ME its really good but the mighty fall wins by far it just does it for me. ALSO I REALLY LIKE THEM ALL but tmf.. shes special

abap is crazy good and twin skeletons will always kill me as uma thurman dances on my dead body. cant choose too much, Novocaine, 4th of july and jet pack blues also are very <3 IRRESISTIBLE WINS MV CATEGORY HERE first time i saw it i almost frew up from laughing its so good for my humor

mania will be forever my close to first fave post hiatus! wilson expensive mistakes GETS IT and also sunshine riptide <3

on a special note : believers never die! dear future self and from now on we are enemies are ingrained so bad in me <3

for the newest addition in the family, smfs is a good album back to back! so good right now, i am my own muse, flu game, what a time to be alive and the title track are the ones i find myself singing the most, but i do like every single one!!

Well that's a lot! now for the vampires :3

bullets : this one album hits close! but early sunsets made a home in me, as well as drowning lessons, headfirst for halos, skylines and turnstiles and well demolovers too because!!

revenge : BOMB album will say that. every single song is SO good<3 i never told you will always be mine mine and forever mine! but i really like every single song in there, jetset life is good too, helena and ghost of you also win! oh no THEYRE ALL GOOD also best demo is i never told you. "covered in blood and piss" forever.

tbp is my second favorite album ever, the theatrics, the feeling, the instrumentality....... <3 i dont love you, the sharpest lives, mama and sleep go by far to be my adored most repeated ones, but cant really choose! mcr you put a curse on me

dd is AMAZING the comics are CRAZY GOOD it was the FIRST INTRODUCTION I HAD TO MCR whatever so cool so dancey so party <3 SING IS MY BABY GIRL NOBODY TOUCH HER everynyan hates her but i love her. save yourself, destroya, scarecrow are soooo good too.......... my baby girls

conwep IS MY girl she gets me. gun is the only one i dislike as i said but mdhfjejemwnwb <3333 so much love to her <33333 ambulance, surrender the night, burn bright, kiss the ring and make room! my babies

living w ghosts KILL ALL YOUR FRIENDS FOREVER <3 emily, my way thru home is you and all the angels get it<3

mention to foundations because i still cant heal and cope I LOVE FOUNDATIONS REALLY REALLY BADDDDDD SO MUCH WO M7CH IM SO PUMPED UP FOR MCR5 <3

oh thats longer now. OKAY ALRIGHT drop me your fave era or looks :3

[vigilskeep]

something to be said for playing cotj and then immediately hitting some of the worst templar sidequests in the hinterlands