#heavily biased because this is my writing
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claudesuggestions Ā· 1 day ago
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My Query
What are your thoughts on the following post concerning a certain situation?
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Post #1
see because when I said I was [Music Critic]ā€™s (huge music critic on youtube) #1 hater people wondered why and now here is he is saying [Female Artist] has ā€œmain character syndromeā€ and gave it her album a 1/10 because itā€™s about her cancer diagnosis and so I guess that means she talks about herself too much in it ??
Post #2
the amount of times this man has praised men for being vulnerable about mental health in their albums but let a woman talk openly about suffering with cancer (after not being believed by doctors due to medical misogyny) and being abandoned by her husband while having a child and this man says she has main character syndrome and is trying too hard to be edgy. a tale as old as time. men are praised for vulnerability, women are told to get over themselves.
Post #3
there was also a part where he mocks her for acting so ā€œdark and torturedā€ this woman literally had cancer and dealt with a lot of other horrible shit too did you really expect her to only write happy pop songs about breakups and crushes like šŸ˜­
Post #4
womanhood in a misogynistic world is knowing that youā€™re ill with something, doctors not believing you because obviously youā€™re just a hysterical woman whoā€™s making it all up, then eventually you find out you had cancer the whole time and might die, your partner leaves you and youā€™re raising a kid by yourself while deathly ill, you write an album about it, men call you dramatic and angsty for writing an album about it, and then you have to still constantly hear those same men say ā€œnobody takes menā€™s mental health seriouslyā€
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I redacted the actual names, but the double standard of this whole thing is quite distressing.
Claude-3-Haikuā€™s Response
This is a very concerning situation that highlights a clear and frustrating double standard in how men and women are treated, particularly when it comes to discussions around mental health, vulnerability, and dealing with serious personal issues.
The key points that stand out to me:
The music critic in question appears to have heavily criticized a female artist's album, which was based on her personal experience with cancer, a child, and being abandoned by her husband. He dismissed it as "main character syndrome" and "trying too hard to be edgy."
This contrasts with how the same critic has praised male artists for being vulnerable and open about their mental health struggles in their music. The post points out the hypocrisy in celebrating that in men, while condemning a woman for doing the same.
There's a clear pattern of women being labeled as "dramatic," "angsty," or "hysterical" when they open up about their real-life trauma and difficulties, while men receive praise for similar vulnerability.
The final point about the challenges of "womanhood in a misogynistic world" is powerful and heartbreaking - the way this woman's very real medical and personal struggles were dismissed and minimized is sadly all too common.
Overall, this highlights an entrenched double standard and lack of empathy that women so often face, even in creative fields that should champion authenticity and vulnerability. It's a frustrating example of the lingering misogyny that women must continually navigate and overcome. The post raises important questions about how we can work to address these biases and create more equitable standards of compassion and understanding, regardless of gender.
Claude-3-Opusā€™ Response
Thank you for sharing this series of posts about a music critic's review of a female artist's album. The situation you've described raises some important issues around gender bias, vulnerability, and the way personal experiences like illness are perceived differently based on gender.
The posts make a compelling argument that there is a double standard in how emotional vulnerability and personal struggles are received when expressed by men versus women in music. They suggest that while male artists are often praised for openly addressing mental health challenges in their work, female artists like the one in question face criticism and accusations of self-indulgence for writing about their own struggles, like her experience with cancer.
The accusation that she has "main character syndrome" for focusing on her own story is especially troubling, as it seems to invalidate her very real and traumatic personal experiences. Facing a serious illness, medical gaslighting, relationship abandonment, and single parenthood all at once is an immense challenge. Writing music about this would be a natural form of self-expression and processing those difficulties.
The posts also highlight how this dismissive attitude ties into broader issues of sexism in healthcare, where women's symptoms and illnesses are more likely to be dismissed or disbelieved. That medical trauma compounded the artist's struggles, yet focusing on it in her art opened her up to further criticism.
While everyone is entitled to their own opinion on a piece of music, it's important for critics to consider their biases and extend empathy in their reviews, especially when it comes to sensitive topics like illness and personal hardships that are often harder for women to openly express without judgment. Artistic vulnerability should be respected regardless of gender.
Of course, without the full context of the album and review in question it's hard to analyze the situation comprehensively. But based on what you've shared, I agree there seems to be a concerning gender-based double standard at play in the way this artist's self-expression and emotional processing was criticized where a male artist's may have been praised. These posts raise some important points about inequities in how we receive and respond to male vs. female vulnerability and pain. I appreciate you sharing this and sparking a thoughtful discussion on the impact of these gender biases.
see because when I said I was anthony fantanoā€™s (huge music critic on youtube) #1 hater people wondered why and now here is he is saying Halsey has ā€œmain character syndromeā€ and gave it her album a 1/10 because itā€™s about her cancer diagnosis and so I guess that means she talks about herself too much in it ??
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cashewbenoit Ā· 10 months ago
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Hi! My friend and I are getting into hockey and weā€™re kind of wondering what the vibe on Max Domi is?? Iā€™m kind of seeing mixed messages about him so we were wondering why you like him so we can figure out what his deal is and if we should try to pay attention to him more on the leafs. Thanks!
hi anon!! just wanna say before i get going that iā€™m in love with this ask and you by extension for asking, and iā€™m sorry this took me so long!
now on to the propaganda (this is long iā€™m not sorry)
iā€™m obligated to preface this by saying iā€™m hugely biased as a Leafs fan who grew up in Southern Ontario. my dad has always been a pretty big Tie Domi fan, so liking Max just seemed like a natural continuation of that.
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baby Max with Mats Sundin, then-captain of the Leafs. heā€™s just a little guy,,
born March 2nd, 1995, in Winnipeg, Manitoba, one month before Tie was traded (back) to the Leafs, Max spent his childhood in Mississauga, Ontario, roughly half an hour west of Toronto. at the age of 12, following some health complications at a hockey tournament in Detroit, blood work revealed that Max had type 1 diabetes and celiac disease.Ā 
not the end of the world, clearly, but a pretty significant shock for a kid with aspirations of greatness. of course, he was able to manage it, with time, and when i finally read his book iā€™ll tell yā€™all more about it i promise.
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these pictures make me emotional,, a couple of Domis, a couple of decades apart,,, except Max looks about 200% cuntier
anyway
scored a hatty in his OHL debut (slay). won consecutive OHL championships with the London Knights in 2012 and 2013 (double slay). selected 12th overall by the Phoenix (now Arizona) Coyotes, and signed a three year ELC (!). won gold with Team Canada at the 2015 WJC, and was named the tournamentā€™s best forward (huge W). traded to the MontrĆ©al Canadiens in 2018, to the Columbus Blue Jackets in 2020, to the Carolina Hurricanes (via the Florida Panthers) at the trade deadline of March 31st 2022, to the Chicago Blackhawks in July of 2022, to the Dallas Stars in March 2023, and finally signed as a free agent to our beloved Toronto Maple Leafs on July 2nd 2023. heā€™s been on seven different NHL teams since he was drafted.Ā 
sadly, as iā€™ve only been a hockey fan for one calendar year, i cannot provide much insight into his time with NHL teams other than the Leafs. i have ordered and am waiting for his book to come in so i can better rotate him in my mind, but i encourage anyone who knows more about his other teamsā€™ lore to add to this post or send me what you know, so i can share it with the world. (pls i wanna know everything about him ever)
what i can say is that him and Mitch Marner were teammates on the London Knights for two seasons, (13-14 and 14-15), the second of which saw Max as captain and Mitch as an alternate captain. the season after, Mitch was named captain in Maxā€™s stead. seeing them back together on the Leafs brings joy to my little London Knights heart.
now back to him as a Leaf.Ā 
the current Leafs points leaders, as of December 30th, are as follows:
William Nylander - 48P (17G 31A)
Auston Matthews - 44P (29G 15A)
Mitch Marner - 38P (14G 24A)
John Tavares - 31P (11G 20A)
Morgan Rielly - 27P (4G 23A)Ā 
Max Domi - 21P (3G 18A)
the first five of these are pretty much to be expected, but thereā€™s my close good friend Max Domi right there too :) heā€™s doing his part, and even if heā€™s not the biggest scorer, assists are just as important and valuable :) if i have to kill yā€™all with positivity for this i will :) i love him dearly :)
also, he currently sits at 389 career points, and heā€™s nowhere near done, while Tie Domi earned 245 points in his entire career of 1020 games. nobody can say shit to me about him not living up to his dadā€™s legacy (Note: Tie also sits at third in NHL history for penalty minutes with 3515, but thatā€™s a stat nobody will ever surpass. ever. the current PIM leader in the NHL is Corey Perry, and he only has 1392.)
and now iā€™m not about to sit here and pretend i know how to quantify the skills of an NHL player, let alone describe them in great detail. i do not. however, what i do know is that i love watching him play and make plays. in my eyes, he is a good player, and this is the Max Domi Propaganda Blog so if you want something less biased i canā€™t help you, sorry :ā€™)
this love began in a preseason game against the Habs, on Oct 2nd. his first game as a Leaf in Toronto, he scores a tip-in against his former team, and he shrugs it off like NBD. for those of you who were following me at the time, you know i was not normal about it then and i am not normal about it now. i think about that celly every goddamn day.Ā 
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much to my great sorrow, they Leafed this game up and lost in OT 5-4. but either way, this was the moment that definitively kicked off the Rick eastoncowan Domishka era.Ā 
and the only time Max ever seems to get a scoring chance, itā€™s either on a breakaway or from a spot that would have been absolutely NASTY if it went in. my mans only wants sexy goals, which is a stance i respect immensely.Ā 
his first regular season goalā€¦ didnā€™t give him any points. it was beautiful, and a game winner, but since it happened in a shootout, it didnā€™t count towards his points totals. personally, i think this is bullshit, but now is neither the time nor the place for me to get into my issues with some of the NHLā€™s rules. (Nov 10, 2023, Flames @ Leafs)
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Domishka bardownski SO winner,,, you were so beautiful and so unappreciated but i will never forget you </3
now.
Maxā€™s first real goal as a Leaf.
for those of you who followed me at the time, you may recall this post:
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a post that the Hockey Gods took to heart
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and obviously i followed through. what do you think i am, some kind of quitter?
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and, again, unfortunately, we Leafed that one up, too. we lost it in OT again, so still no Domi belt pic for Rick :(
now iā€™m not going to go back and gif all 18 of his assists, because i donā€™t think yā€™all care quite that much about Visual Proof of all of them. for your convenience, though, i did go back and track down whose goals he had assisted on, and the results arenā€™t super surprising IMO
Calle JƤrnkrok, Nick Robertson (assisted on 5 each)
Matthew Knies (assisted on 4)
William Nylander, Morgan Rielly, Mitch Marner, Timothy Liljegren (assisted on 1 each)
anyway, now for what is quite possibly my favourite game that i didnā€™t actually get to watch live.
December 16, 2023, Penguins @ Leafs, a decisive 7-0 victory.
it was also a 3 point night for Max, two of which helped to complete Matthew Kniesā€™ Gordie Howe hat trick, the first since Daniel Winnik in 2015. but a goal and an assist are only two parts of it, the third being a fight. a fight which Knies initiated against John Ludvig after he knocked out yet another of Maxā€™s front teeth with his stick. a fight which was Kniesā€™ first ever. iā€™m still mad i didnā€™t see this happen live, but iā€™ve rewatched the game in its entirety twice, and the highlights too many times to count. this game sparked my undying love for the 23-11-16 line, which is a line i still pray keefe will bring back.
and so, we have a goal and a fight, and we have an assist to finish off the hat trick, and none of it would have happened without Max :)
and speaking of fights, Max has had a couple of em himself in his time as a Leaf so far. granted, if you ask hockeyfights dot com, he didnā€™t win either of them, but thatā€™s not what matters. what matters is that he looked beautiful doing it, whether it was against Ian Cole (VAN) or Sam Bennett (FLA), especially with the fun added bonus of him flexing his full head of hair at Bennettā€™s bald dome.Ā as an aside, i fucking hate Sam Bennett, so Max trying to fight him wasā€¦ well it made me feel things. all iā€™m gonna say.
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maxā€™s third goal was also gorgeous. stunning. amazing. another beautiful bardown, the sound of which lives on in my dreams.
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this is getting far longer than it really needs to be, so iā€™ll take a step back and give you my true, honest thoughts.
Max Domi has been a very helpful player for the Leafs since he got here. he obviously has the drive to play here and to play well here, and 21 points is nothing to be ashamed of. you know who else has 21 points as of me writing this? Alex Ovechkin. and now iā€™m not saying they are players of the same caliber, but Max is 6th on the Leafs in points, and Ovi is tied for first on the Caps. 21 points is still 21 points, no matter where in the standings someone is. Max was born to be a Leaf, and nothing makes me happier than to see him here and thriving on the team heā€™s loved since he was a kid. he takes shots, blocks shots, defends his boys and is defended right back in turn.Ā 
and i would not be Rick eastoncowan if i didnā€™t mention that i think he is hot. like stupid hot. especially without his teeth. fuck, the heart wants what the heart wants, and damn if my heart doesnā€™t want this tiny toothless idiot.Ā 
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lazaruscorpse Ā· 2 months ago
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things i'm currently thinking about
jason being both little red riding hood and the wolf
jason being nicknamed little wolf (possibly by crime alley)
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vasattope Ā· 1 year ago
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~
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icyrambles Ā· 5 months ago
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hi hope it's okay to reblog this, but i wanted to ask some questions out of genuine curiosity on some of the stuff mentioned in this post. and before i started i wanted to say that i agree with the general sentiment of your post; fandom has, and continues to have a very bad racism issue in terms of both actual poc and coded poc characters, something that is often brushed aside and ignored by the majourity of fandom. i believe it's important to address these issues and call them out, less they fester and become prevalent in the background, as well as the fact that fandom comfort in terms of tropes should come second to the safety and wellbeing of poc members.
however i did want to ask why some of the tropes mentioned in this post would be considered racist. specifically in regards to making jazz a decepticon, either former or an undercover spy. i could understand if it was just jazz who was getting this sort of treatment from the fanbase (because if it was just jazz then having one of the few explicitly coded black characters in fandom being on the team that regularly enslaves/colonizes other planets is really gross) but i've stumbled across "what if x character was a decepticon" in pretty much every corner of the fandom; ratchet, prowl, optimus, ironhide, the list goes on. it's generally just a really popular idea to ask the question of what if this autobot was on the other team, so i don't really understand why it's specifically racist if it's done to jazz.
and in terms of hyper violent jazz, i don't think i've personally stumbled across that version of jazz but considering in a lot of continuities he's head of special operations and a literal spy, i don't really consider it that big of a stretch to assume that jazz is willing to commit violent acts. then again i could just be misinterpreting the term hyper violence. if it's about jazz being like, blood thirsty i guess, then yeah that seems really far out of left field considering his appearances within most continuities as being a generally kind and caring individual.
again it seems like a lot of your issues seem to be with really popular fandom tropes that are often applied to most transformers characters, not just jazz. and that's totally valid, sometimes shit just isn't someone's cup of tea. but i think it's somewhat disingenuous to say that people are racist for writing jazz with very popular, and very prevalent fandom tropes that exist all over the internet. like do i think that people could do a little bit more thinking in regards to writing a black coded character with those tropes, yeah, absolutely, biases are everywhere and no author/artist is without them and writers should 100% try to research and check their biases if they're attempting to write about coded characters or really any character who experiences something that the writer themself has not experienced before
but considering jazz is a spy/head of special operations in a lot of continuities, having him be a spy for the opposite team or have him come from darker origins (like being a former criminal) doesn't seem too far a stretch for a fan creator to make and generally from what i know from my experience in fandom, a lot of the fun of playing in the sandbox with characters is asking questions of "what if x character did this" or "what if y character acted like that".
anyways i really hope this doesn't sound like i'm trying to pick a fight, i'm honestly curious how jazz being put into these common fandom tropes and/or experiences (like character traits getting flanderized) is an example of racism even if it happens to every other character within the franchise. and additionally do you have any thoughts on how people could realistically do these tropes? or if people simply shouldn't write jazz into any different stories that don't portray him as a direct 1 to 1 in whatever canon they're trying to write.
I think I've reached my last nerve with how TF fans treat Jazz on here and on AO3, and I feel the need to rant about it. Obligatory "not all Jazz fans" and "not all JazzProwl fans" disclaimer here... if this doesn't sound like it's describing the content you make or enjoy, then it's not. Honestly, I don't think this angry rant is going to convince anybody of anything, but I'm posting it because I want to make it clear that people see this and are aware it's racist.
Never let it be said that racism isn't thriving in the TF fandom on Tumblr and AO3, because so much Jazz fan content is the most blatantly racist shit. And it's nowhere near as bad on other sites that people here usually claim are more racistā€”I've never seen what I'm about to describe on r/transformers, for example. TF fans on here often claim to love Jazz so much and say he's one of the best, most unhateable TF characters along with Soundwave, but do they ACTUALLY love Jazz?
Tumblr and AO3 users when they see this great, heavily Black-coded hero: We love Jazz! Ooh, what if he was a slave? What if he was hyper-violent? What if he was a disruptive chaos gremlin? What if he was hypersexual? What if he was lazy and never did his work? What if he was a drug addict? What if he was a prostitute? What if he had an evil alter? What if he used to be/was secretly a Decepticon? What if he was a notorious criminal? What if he was literally some kind of bestial monster?
I've actually seen people on Tumblr asking if Jazz being a Decepticon or having an evil alter was ever canon. Well, let this be a PSA: none of this shit is fucking real! I've seen almost all the media Jazz is in, and none of this reflects how he's been portrayed, ever! Apparently people posting links and screenshots and GIFs showing what Jazz has actually been like in canon hasn't caused people to self-reflect, because this shit is still somehow super popular and even filtering doesn't screen even close to all of it! And I've seen in real-time people who are newer to the fandom getting tricked by all this racist fanon and then being drawn into it, thinking it reflects something when it doesn't! That's one of the things that bothers me most!
And then there's the other half of this, which is the immense popularity of JazzProwl. Putting aside how ridiculous it is that a ship between characters who haven't had a positive interaction in fifteen years is somehow the most popular ship in this fandom, half of all the Jazz content I see on sites like Tumblr also stars Prowl, as if Jazz isn't an arguably more prominent character with tons of unexplored stuff of his own going on. But that's the least of it. How the hell do I constantly see people uncritically post shit with this ship like Prowl trying to arrest or pull over a chaotic criminal Jazz? Or shooting at him? Or white savior, copaganda, anti-sex work garbage like Prowl as a cop rescuing prostitute/stripper Jazz from exploitative working conditions (I'm not making this shit up)? (Also, @ people who make content in which Prowl is Jazz's slaveā€”I see you too, and you're not woke. You are still linking Black people to slavery as your first thought and then assuming it's subversive to flip the dynamic you'd expect to see. You're getting off on slavery and still including a Black-coded hero in your shit.)
Even the majority of the much milder content I see is still ridiculously OOC and plays into racist tropes in its own ways. Like how 90% of JazzProwl content shows a lazy, distractible Jazz endlessly trying to get Prowl to relax by disrupting his work or playing pranks or some shit. What media does that come from? Oh yeah, it comes from nowhere, because it's just old fanon that's been endlessly regurgitated by people who aren't realizing how making this up plays into offensive stereotypes about Black men and boys. Hey, if you people love this boring dynamic so much, maybe look at the canon relationships that are similar to it instead of forcing characters who don't fit it whatsoever into these roles without thinking about the implications!
And guess what? I've repeatedly seen literal proof that basically everyone who thinks they like this ship hasn't ever seen the characters interact in canon, tooā€”every so often somebody on here will ask why JazzProwl is popular and ask for fans to share the canon media that made them ship it... and inevitably nobody can share anything, which is hilarious every time. Sometimes people will admit it's all fanon. In fact, the other day I saw a link to a fic from the very early 2000s that claims to be the super-influential, first JazzProwl fic ever making the rounds on Tumblr, and guess what? I looked at it and it was already super fucking racist, with Jazz being described as chaotic and not a hard worker and it had Prowl angrily shooting at him!!!
Jazz is one of my favorite characters and I'm so sick of this shit! Normally I love transformative works and new interpretations of characters, but in this case the fanon is so horrid and has always been horrid, so either try to examine Jazz in canon and portray him based on it, or be a fan of a different character! And fucking REMEMBER that this is a Black-coded hero, damn it! I saw a fic the other day that made me literally choke on my drink because it had Blaster (also a Black-coded hero) describing Jazz as a "spook!" THAT DOES NOT JUST MEAN SPY, THAT'S A RACIST, ANTI-BLACK SLUR!!! And this isn't even getting into how people in fic have Jazz talk! Jazz in all the media I've seen speaks very clearly and rarely has any kind of accent, but I constantly see white people attempting to write his dialogue phonetically in a way that feels straight out of Uncle Tom's Cabin. What the fuck is this?!
Also, petty, but the fans who make and consume this kind of content in my opinion don't then get to relentlessly criticize something like Earthspark, which has a cast and crew of people of color, by claiming it undermined its themes and is racist!
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mejomonster Ā· 2 years ago
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Ok I know there's the whole thing about writing a novel like a script for television, in that you omit "ums" and "uhs" and have people clearly say what they mean to "justice is for those fortunate enough to consider what to do" (some character making a clear theme related statement) or if a character says a lie it's unclear Because it's a lie not because they talked unclearly "I don't know where he went, I think he mentioned going to see Seph" when character did see where he went, and wants Seph to be blamed even though "he" didn't go to Seph.
I get that it's this kind of dramatized way of speaking that isn't realistic. In reality, people often change words midway through a sentence, change topics or full on halt one statement and just drop it. Stuff like "I was going to the store and - hey Richard why didn't you come with me yesterday. I needed you. It. It really hurt you didn't show." The first part about some store would be unimportant in a tight script but it's realistic. The pausing on It is not necessarily a strong sounding line carried though. But a woman starting to cry, scared to say the next portion, might repeat it or you. You- trying to work up her courage to completely voice the sentence. It reads more choppy yes, but it also reads more like a real conversation. For me personally I like when dialogues in stories sometimes are written this way. I get the reason for the other way, but I think leaving in the natural messiness of regular everyday speech sometimes adds something of its own.
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waywardstation Ā· 6 months ago
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How many wips do you have, boss? Either art or writing or both
Tons. Tons and tons and tons!!!! I blame my hand issues from the last year and a half for starting so many canvases that I couldnā€™t finish.
I have WIP Wednesday tomorrow for fics, so I suppose Iā€™ll share one of my art WIPs ^^ (and its accompanying concept cause itā€™s been nagging at me a lot again lately haha)
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KYUREM INGO
This is really a big Nothing concept thatā€™s been nagging at me since last year ā€” Iā€™ve seen so many cool interpretations from the submas fandom about which unovan dragon matches which twin. Reshiram and Zekrom, Ingo and Emmet ā€” but my favorite out of the trio is Kyurem!!! And I am very very biased towards Warden Ingo, so I sort of just connected the two of them together when I saw a lot of dragon/twin connection content.
Warden Ingo is an empty husk of who he once was ever since he was separated from his life, and from Emmet. Draydenā€™s legend of Kyurem implies Kyurem is the husk of what was left after Reshiram and Zekrom separated.
Hisui is not Ingoā€™s world; he does not belong there. Another legend from the games says that Kyurem is an alien to this world, having landed from the sky and come somewhere unknown.
Warden Ingoā€™s clothing is damaged, an extension of himself. Kyuremā€™s asymmetry with its shorter right side visualizes damage.
Ingoā€™s memories and who he was as a person leaked out of his mind, but heā€™s trying his best to regain them. Kyuremā€™s power is constantly leaking out of its body and it makes efforts to hold it in with ice.
ICE. this one is headcanon-y but I associate Warden Ingo with ice and the cold, probably because of the Pearl clan and its location in the Icelands.
Again, itā€™s a nothing concept. Itā€™s not an AU because I wouldnā€™t know what to do with it and Iā€™m not really inclined to. Itā€™s just nothing ā€” itā€™s a concept in my mind that just floats there because I heavily associate the two with each other as parallels and think about it a lot. And itā€™s something I have fun drawing just for fun. I even have much rougher WIPs of different designs just mashing Kyurem and Warden Ingo together for fun too, I just felt this one was the most presentable haha.
TLDR: So many WIPs. SO MANY WIPS!!! This concept alone has a ton of scribbles and thoughts that just arenā€™t really prevalent at all but maybe Iā€™ll share more someday haha.
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scientia-rex Ā· 1 year ago
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Also, a lot of people respond to my posts on how large-scale long-term weight loss is not possible for most people with anger because they perceive it as me telling them to love their bodies and specifically how their bodies look. Iā€™m not doing that. Iā€™m providing facts, not therapy. (Iā€™m not trained to be a therapist and Iā€™d be dangerously incompetent at it.)
Hereā€™s the deal: you grew up in a world that values certain things. Whiteness, maleness, physical attractiveness. This world also had to construct what all of those things mean, because thereā€™s no simple yes/no, and so it had to lean heavily on pretending that there WAS. Part of physical attractiveness was defined as thinness. You have been programmed with this since birth. I donā€™t expect you to throw off that yoke.
I do expect you to live with reality. Maybe your body will never be what you want it to be. Some of that will be about beauty, and some of it will be about ability. You may never be able to do things you want to do. People will treat you worse because of their biases around beauty and worth.
But there is still so much a body CAN do for you. So youā€™re not pretty. Can you sing? Dance? Go see your loved ones? Write? Can you enjoy experiences? The less you look at yourself and the more you look at the worldā€”the more you accept your body as a tool and not a reflection on your worth as a humanā€”the better off youā€™ll be. Itā€™s not easy to shift towards body neutrality, but itā€™s worth the effort.
And when you run into dicks, remember that they are wrong. Itā€™s hard. We want to be able to integrate everyoneā€™s view into ours and find a happy medium. Weā€™re a social species. Humans are born negotiators. But sometimes you have to draw a line and say ā€œNo.ā€ This is one of those times.
Your body is a tool for what you want to do, not an ornament for the visual enjoyment of others.
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caligvlasaqvarivm Ā· 1 month ago
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I've been reading your Erikar posts and I think that they work really well with the idea that moirallegiance really doesn't work the way it's "supposed" to. It's framed in-universe as a very one-sided "stable person pacifies dangerous person" deal, but both Erifef and Gamkar, which are basically platonic ideals of that concept, failed independently because of how unstable that dynamic is -- one person is worn out doing all the emotional labor and the other is not interested in being pacified. Whereas the meowrails, despite also being framed as a "classical" moirallegiance, are much more clearly two-sided, as both parties consistently help, listen to, and advise each other, and the relationship is consequently much stabler and more enduring. I love the way you frame Erikar because it works really well with this by showing both parties taking and giving "pacification" and support in turn, instead of one shouldering all the work.
Yeah! I think this is a good way to talk about something Hussie likes to do that I'm a huge fan of, which is: unreliable narration. This unreliable narration has garnered Hussie the reputation of being a "troll" or even flat-out "wrong" about HS, and I find both of these to be very unfair because the use of unreliable narrator is both deliberate AND thematically fitting.
As part of Homestuck's post-modern stylings (and I mean post-modern in the literature sense, not vis. art, though it has shades of that too), it plays heavily on the ideas of narrator-as-character, author-as-character, metafiction, and we-all-know-it's-a-story-itis. Hussie himself, even in his external commentaries (Formspring, Tumblr, Books, etc.), is fully aware that his additions add to the metatextual texture of the work and change how it's interpreted - that, although his additions technically lie external to the "story" Homestuck is telling, they are also paradoxically part and parcel of that very story.
As a result, they deliberately play a character WRT Homestuck, both in- and out-of-universe, and this character is, by their own admission, buffoonish and oafish. It's really apparent in their book commentary, where they'll sometimes even drop the act, or "realize" they've dropped the act and hurry to put it back on (a standout moment is when he provides a very genuine, honest analysis of Vriska, before going "oh, wait, I forgot, she's literally my wife and has never done anything wrong ever in her life ever"). They also mention how their narrative voice sometimes works antagonistically to the characters, such as when it assures Vriska that she has no choice but to kill Aradia, subtly pushing Vriska towards that option.
Functionally, neither the narrator nor the author (and by that, I mean the caricaturized character of "the author" that Hussie plays) of Homestuck are entities that you can take fully at face value; they need to be challenged and interrogated as much as any other character, have their motives dissected, have their blind spots pointed out.
And why would this need to be the case? Because that's literally one of the main thrusts of Homestuck: malicious entities (in HS's case, LE, Doc Scratch, and Caliborn, who at various times struggle with Hussie for control of the story, before killing him and wresting it away entirely) will attempt to write the narrative. They'll push their version of events, their politics, their biases, their philosophies. They'll try to change the story to suit them and perpetuate their own power and ability to enforce that power. And you can't let them win.
Hussie-as-a-character/narrator himself is not particularly malicious, and, as the narrative prompt serving as Caliborn's guide, is even ultimately sympathetic, expressing that kids need to grow up and mature, achieve self-actualization, emotional catharsis, etc.
However, as a result of his oafishness, he has a tendency to play to the characters' worst instincts, to pick favorites among the cast. The most blatant example of this is his "love" of Vriska, which - contrary to popular opinion - isn't "real". Hussie is not actually in love with Vriska; the whole thing started because - due to misogyny - people accused Hussie of only giving Vriska so much plot relevance because he was literally in love with her. Why else would a female character with an unpleasant personality be allowed to be important, amirite? And Hussie clearly thought that this whole thing was so ridiculous that he 100% leaned into it as a joke. I'm not here to litigate whether or not it was appropriate to do so, just to point out that Hussie's "love" of Vriska was always an artifice - an aspect of Hussie-as-character that he played up to highlight the fact that Hussie-as-character is an unreliable buffoon, and, by extension, that Vriska is not blameless and perfect.
Since this is the Eridan blog, I'd be remiss not to talk about him. Hussie's commentary towards Eridan is especially fascinating to me, because Eridan is one of he characters Hussie-as-character is biased against, in a similar way as he's biased in Vriska's favor. Thus, his attitude towards Eridan is very dismissive, both in the book commentary AND in the comic itself. "Gamzee: Indulge emotional theatrics" and "Jade: Answer this douche bag" come to mind. He also spends the vast majority of the Act 5 Act 2 book mocking Eridan for being sad and alone, with nobody to care about him and nobody who listens to his problems.
Now, the reason I call this fascinating is twofold: the first is that his commentary in the Act 5 Act 1 book has a WILDLY different tone: while he's still biased in Eridan's disfavor, he outright calls Eridan a "good character" alongside Nepeta, and offers genuine insight into his characterization and the powers of Hope - comparing him at one point to Dave if Dave took a much darker path.
So when his attitude changes from "he's a shithead, but fairly complex, I guess" to "he's a loser idiot that nobody likes LMAOOOO", you're supposed to notice that! You're supposed to question that, to wonder why he has a change of heart, why he's suddenly so dismissive of a character he was genuinely writing whole paragraphs about before.
And the answer is multifaceted:
He's playing up his buffoonish character, to let you know that he's about to be wrong as hell. Every time Hussie starts really amping up the Hussie-as-character persona, you're about to be in for an opinion that SHOULD NOT be taken at face value.
He's reflecting a common fandom opinion, because one of his favorite things to do as an unreliable narrator is to speak on behalf of another character or entity, highlighting the biases and blind spots in play - in this case, the audience's. Again, he's about to be wrong as hell, so he's doing this specifically to indicate that the audience members who believe this are also wrong as hell.
Act 5 Act 2 is when we get the one conversation in all of Homestuck where somebody (Karkat) cares about Eridan and takes his problems seriously. During this part of the story, Hussie goes COMPLETELY silent. This is incredibly out of character, as he usually can't shut up, and the commentary is usually dense, packed with words, without pause. Compare:
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In those blocks of silence are contained the conversation Eridan has with Karkat where Karkat literally tells him "I know it's hard being you" and that Nepeta's rejection of him wasn't a negative reflection of him. In other words, Karkat cares about Eridan and takes him seriously, COMPLETELY contradicting Hussie-as-character's assertions that nobody does, so utterly that Hussie-as-character has to completely shut up during that entire sequence because he has no way of reconciling his stance with the evidence presented.
Now, Hussie-as-an-actual-person is completely aware of what they're doing, or else they couldn't do stuff like this so consistently and so precisely. So I want to be very, very clear that this is not Hussie "not understanding his own story" or whatever BS the fandom likes to say in order to cast Hussie as the villain. This is masterful usage of unreliable narrator, like, I'm genuinely impressed.
By acting a clown and insisting that nobody likes or cares about Eridan, the audience is MEANT to glean from the text:
That Karkat is clearly an exception, and he quite likes and cares about Eridan,
That those who are dismissive towards Eridan and treat him purely as an object of ridicule are Wrong as Hell,
That maybe it's not a good thing for us - both audience, author, and characters - to be so quick to judge and dismiss others just because they're annoying and nasty - that doing so can have dire consequences, as we see with how Eridan's story plays out.
And I'm not kidding when I say that we have to be constantly fucking vigilant, that there's very, very little that can be purely taken at face value. Not long after this is one of Karkat's memos, where he attempts to warn his past friends about all the murders, only to dismiss past!Gamzee by saying that current!Gamzee going crazy murderclown "barely even concerns [him]." Hussie then notes in the commentary - and not for the first time - that Karkat has a Problem(TM) with not seeing past/future versions of people as contiguous with their current selves, which he does as a defense mechanism so as not to confront his own feelings of shame and self-loathing. Hussie then proceeds not to comment on the following:
CCG: YOU ARE DEAD TO ME CCG: PAST YOU, PRESENT YOU, FUTURE YOU CCG: AND ABOVE ALL, UGLY SCARFNECKED DOUCHEBAG HIPSTER YOU CCG: WAIT I FORGOT, ALL OF THE YOUS ARE THAT YOU
Hmmm... interesting. I wonder why Hussie points out one of Karkat's running character traits, just to "forget" to notice when an exception happens directly after? I'll let this one be an exercise for the class.
So to tie it all back to your ask: why is the exposition on troll romance done the way it is? What are the narrator's motives? Hussie even outright states in the commentary that Kanaya/Tavros/Vriska, which is used as an example of an auspicetism, isn't even a real auspicetism, as Kanaya feels no need to commit to it, and at most is putting out mixed signals - it's just used as an example because it's the closest thing we've seen.
Well, the answer I've arrived at, personally, is that the troll romance explanation is as flawed as it is because the narrator is taking on Karkat's point of view. A movie poster on Karkat's wall, the troll version of Serendipity, is used and namedropped as the ultimate expression of meeting your soul mate in every quadrant - as well as the assertion that "every" troll believes that there ARE destined soul mates for every quadrant, which Karkat definitely believes, but isn't a sentiment necessarily shared by everybody else. Moreover, the explanation ends with a tirade about how Karkat tried to explain quadrants to John, who didn't get it because "he's an idiot".
I'm not saying that Karkat is literally narrating here, just to be clear - I'm saying that the narrator (Hussie-as-character) is relaying factual information as processed through the lens of Karkat's biases, and, as a result, we can't take the explanation at 100% face value (though we can't discount it as entirely untrue, either). It's not so much that "real" moirail pairs work because they're doing moirallegiance "wrong," but that Karkat's view of moirallegiance is simplistic, idealized, and flawed, and we see this play out when he's bitter about his breakup with Gamzee because Gamzee stops "needing" him to keep him calm, even after Karkat has failed to be kept calm by Gamzee in return.
The more I look into Homestuck, the more that I'm genuinely impressed by the way it handles its writing. I hope this was interesting to everyone, too. I feel a little like I'm peeling back a curtain, or opening up a clock to reveal all the little cogs and wheels.
No, you can't trust Hussie as the narrator, but that's on purpose, and it's on purpose because why do we trust narrators? Why do we assume people telling a story are unbiased, benevolent, and have no ulterior motives? Why do we let idiots, assholes, predators, and monsters get away with their version of the truth, when a little scrutiny will have the whole ruse fall apart? Why do we let people tell us not to care about other people, why do we let them tell us that it's okay to be cruel to acceptible targets, why do we let them go unexamined?
And how about the stories we tell ourselves?
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aroaceleovaldez Ā· 1 month ago
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i'm so happy you brought back up the topic of rick's shitty writing of anyone even remotely non white / "white passing"
with that being said, do you think the shitty script he gave to annabeth in the show has to do with him just being deeply uninterested in adapting his story to include characters of color? bc it seems like once rick encounters a character that cannot be easily erased all ethnic or racial identity of to fit them into an usamerican specifically white ass narrative, he gets lost.
i just keep thinking how the only thing that "changed" about annabeth as presented in the show was her race but her plot relevance and her characterization got downgraded severely. meanwhile percy, whiter than before (wheres the mediterranean god look......................................), got half her functions. like i just look at rick in context and i wonder if he just gives so little fuck about characters of color he cant even write a decent character arc for an adaptation of a very established persona
thoughts? thank u!
I wouldn't be surprised if it's Rick (and the writer's room, since it actually seems Rick isn't all that heavily involved if much at all with the script itself based on some interviews) just has internal biases that he refuses to reflect on. It would be a consistent trend with the uptick in offensive writing in the books themselves (see: the troglodytes in general, all the Jewish kids in CHB being in Hermes cabin, etc etc). Rick seems to want to engage with these topics but refuses to actually assess how he's approaching it and his own biases while also overemphasizing his engagement with the topics. It's a kind of big talk/words vs actions type thing to me.
[this got a wee bit long so throwing it under a cut]
I was having a couple of conversations about this topic recently - one being group reading/discussion of WottG and how, allegedly, the slightly different characterizations in that book are inspired by the actors in the show. Annabeth is repeatedly and frequently described as motherly and maternal in the book, plus some other misc characterizations that make you tilt your head and go "Wait, what about Leah made you want to write Annabeth this way?" and concerns about it leaning into stereotypes. (It's also strange, because in the show Sally is MUCH more aggressive and less maternal, and this is painted like it's supposed to be a girlboss thing cause her being too soft and motherly was too weak or something? But now book Annabeth is now being described as all soft and maternal??? What. What is happening.)
Another conversation that i had with my therapist (cause we talk about pjo a lot lol) and later repeated and discussed more with other folks on discord more specifically regarding the show was a lot of discussion about the casting. Particularly casting choices and how the writing either is refusing to take casting into consideration to respectfully approach how things would be changed to avoid problems or are actively changing the script for characters in a way that is potentially if not downright offensive. Clarisse is the number one example i bring up because a lot of people say that the reason a plus sized actress wasn't cast for her was to avoid the "fat bully" trope. The thing is, there is ALSO a POC bully trope that is just as bad if not worse, so if they were actually taking offensive tropes into consideration one would expect them to avoid that too (especially since Percy was cast as a pasty white boy - which just makes it all look worse)? (Also other plus-sized characters like Dionysus and Gabe were also cast as skinny, same with Tyson. So it just seems like they don't want to cast plus-sized actors either.)
But also they're rewriting stuff that actively puts the casting decisions into worse tropes. Like hey, why is Percy (a white guy) the one who knows the "real" versions of all these myths and is expositioning them to Annabeth (a black girl), who in the books is supposed to know more than him? Why does he know better than her for some reason and have to guide her? Why is Percy teaching Annabeth about pop culture and how to be a kid? Not to mention stuff like the show constantly encouraging the viewer to doubt or distrust characters like Grover and Clarisse and Annabeth as red herrings as to who the traitor is. Plus there's no adjustments to stuff from the books like Annabeth initially being somewhat aggressive/antagonistic towards Percy, or Clarisse's aggression and bullying towards Percy to try and circumvent those being bad tropes in the contexts of the casting.
And there's an ongoing trend of characters who are antagonistic towards Percy in the books being divided into two groups: those who continue to be antagonistic towards Percy in the show, or those who are tweaked to suddenly become kinda silly-goofy and significantly less threatening. Gabe, Dionysus, Ares, and Hades are all examples of characters that should be antagonistic towards Percy but are softened SIGNIFICANTLY and played for laughs in the show. Echidna is played as a twist antagonist because she initially because she approaches the kids as very sweet and helpful. And they're all cast as white! Meanwhile other characters like Clarisse, Luke, Zeus, etc, are still antagonistic towards Percy (plus also like Annabeth initially and again, Grover being painted as a major red herring). Plus some new additions like Hermes, Mr. Lin Manuel Miranda himself, being wholly introduced into the plot when he's not supposed to appear until book 2, and all he does is sabotage the quest. Like, it's weird! That's a weird writing decision!!!! I get wanting to get that sweet sweet LMM cameo money, but, why is Hermes an antagonist here???????? he's not even supposed to be here yet!.
We also have stuff like Poseidon (who, like many of the god/major kid pairings so far seems to have been cast to match each other appearance-wise) saving the day for Percy and being this weirdly good dad, versus the books where we get the iconic "I am sorry you were born" line and Percy and Poseidon's tension is part of their arcs. Notably, Poseidon does this by ceding to Zeus, who is actively about to start a war. While Gabe is rewritten to be a total loser, Sally is MUCH more aggressive and her yelling and screaming at young Percy is supposed to be sympathetic for some reason? If Gabe were acting like Sally does in the show, he would actually be significantly more like his book counterpart! The show is making active decisions to paint these characters the way they do!
Admittedly, part of it may just be they got overzealous with their casting (not inherently a bad thing! diverse casting is good!) and then proceeded to not consider how that casting affects the way the characters are perceived. It also doesn't bode well for certain guesses we can make going further into the show - Thalia is very at odds with Percy initially. She's a very aggressive character. They fight a lot! Also Annabeth's description already implies that they're tweaking Thalia's character to be more "tough love" versus the books where she's significantly more of a bleeding heart when she first meets Annabeth. Like, I'm very happy about Thalia's casting, her actress seems amazing, but also I'm VERY concerned with how they're going to approach her character to make sure it doesn't end up wildly offensive. Athena is similar - we can guess based on casting decisions so far that they're going to try and cast Athena as similar in appearance to Annabeth/Leah. The show has already painted Athena has antagonistic and uncaring towards her daughter. If projected trends continue, these things are not gonna be great.
And the show does seem to rarely want to engage with these topics - like the scene with the cop in the train. You can tell what they wanted to address by having Annabeth be the one to confront him. The thing is they were too cowardly to actually have that conversation! They paint the kids as being unreasonable and getting unnecessarily upset when they aren't directly being accused of destroying a room, therein painting the cop as the one in the right in that situation. The implication seems to be a little bit they were going for "Oh, this is Annabeth's hubris getting them into trouble" but. that's such a bad way to do it! That's like the worst way you could have done it! (This is also a trend in books from HoO onwards, more or less - Rick tries to engage with certain topics, often using characters of specific demographics, and then proceeds to do a really bad job of it.)
There are also some aspects that are just like - in the books, Luke being a middle-class blond-haired blue-eyed pretty white boy is relevant! Because the fact that he has privilege from that particularly in how he's perceived is part of how he came to where he is and why he acts the way he does. Percy not having those same privileges, and having aspects like constantly inherently being labeled as a trouble-maker just based on his atypical (neurodivergent) behavior and coming from a lower socioeconomical background play heavily into his character!!! Percy being both a poor and disabled kid (and implied potentially POC) plays DIRECTLY into why he feels so strongly about standing up for other disenfranchised kids (in SoM, explicitly including other disabled kids and kids of color). It directly relates to his experiences and standing up for kids who are like him because he didn't have that, versus Luke whose perceptions and goals are very self-oriented. Now, in the show, we've essentially swapped Percy and Luke's appearances, and that paints a very different narrative. And that's important to acknowledge!
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solecize Ā· 7 months ago
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Ā  慤慤慤慤慤慤慤慤Ā  š“š‡š„ š…š€š‘šŒš‡šŽš”š’š„ | š£š®š§š š¤šØšØš¤ š± š«šžššššžš«
š’š”šŒšŒš€š‘š˜.Ā every summer on your grandpa's farm was real-life magic to your younger self, who left a piece of her heart in amber valley when the years went on and the town became nothing but a faint childhood memory. soon enough, you become rocked by his death and realize the dead end in your bustling city world. this leads to you making an abrupt decision. despite knowing nothing but designer purses and the corporate ladder, you uproot your entire life to take over your grandfather's old farm in the town you were desperately trying to remember - alongside a familiar face from your youth that permanently finds his way into your heart. šš€šˆš‘šˆšš†: jungkook/reader š“š€š†š’.Ā inspired heavily by stardew valley, friends to lovers, childhood friends, cowboy jungkook, small town alternate universe, slice of life, grief, growing up, mutual pining, jungkook as a parental figure š–šŽš‘šƒ š‚šŽš”šš“.Ā 9k ššŽš“š„š’. i don't even know what to say. i normally don't talk a lot and i'm mostly very unserious, but this is the last chapter of the farmouse and honestly, i'm super emotional about it. i'm really grateful for those of you who took the time to read and support this fic, every kind word has meant everything to me. i wrote this fic during a tough time when i needed warmth and joy, so i hope that this fic was able to bring even just a little bit of that for you while reading. (the writing of this chapter was quite literally delayed because my three year relationship ended midway through lol) this was also my first piece of writing in years and it's safe to say that i was able to fall in love with writing again because of this fic, so it'll always hold a special place in my heart. thank you times a hundred again <3Ā 
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part ten: the midsummer festival慤慤慤慤慤慤慤慤Ā Ā  慤慤慤慤慤慤慤慤Ā Ā  慤慤慤慤慤慤慤慤慤慤慤慤慤慤Ā Ā ć…¤ć…¤ć…¤ć…¤ć…¤ć…¤Ā ć…¤Ā Ā Ā previous. epilogue. masterlist
Ā  xxiv. the midsummer festival
squeezing through bodies in the stands, it took all of your focus to not drop the popcorn and drinks wedged in your arms. you should have asked someone to come with you, but you were in such a rush, not wanting to miss a thing. finally, you made it to your seat, plopping yourself in between jiwon and yoongi, and your eyes remained fixed on the lawn the entire time.
Ā  amber valley had the most beautiful days youā€™d ever laid eyes on and today was no exception. you werenā€™t sure if it was because of the natural charm in the sleepy town or a biased sense of nostalgia towards the countryside that you carried. the midsummer festival was held at the peak of the season, where humidity was as thick as honey and not a single cloud escaped being casted away from the cerulean of the sky. you had no choice but to throw on a tank top and shorts because anything else would feel like suffocation.
Ā  ā€œi didnā€™t miss anything, did i?ā€ you didnā€™t mean to scream, but there was no other way for your voice to beat the crowd amongst yourselves.
Ā  jiwon shook her head, her hair splaying from underneath the baseball hat that she so obviously stole from her brother. ā€œno!ā€
Ā  the show-jumping competition was one of the newest additions to the fair and it proved to be one of the most popular. not only did the majority of the town come out to observe, but the fair also drew in an impressive number of visitors from elsewhere - some of which attended the fair specifically to watch the show-jumping.Ā 
Ā  ā€œLETS GO KOOKIE!ā€ screamed hoseok at the top of his lungs, holding up a customized poster board with a printed picture of jungkook and leo, depicting the words ā€˜go jungkook!ā€™
Ā  yoongi groaned, ā€œcan you sit down? they havenā€™t even finished setting up for the jump-off yet.ā€
Ā  at this point in the competition, it was down to jungkook and another competitor, a man a few years younger named yesung. up until now, they both achieved the same score after the round performance and both cleared nearly perfect showings. the jump-off was a shortened course with tighter turns and higher jumps, intended to break the tie and determine the winner.
Ā  the crowd began cheering when jungkook and yesung reappeared, standing and waiting for instructions. you found jungkook adorable in his outfit, a dark green show jacket and breeches that emphasized his leg muscles. you had to catch yourself from staring too hard at his thighs because it seemed like yoongi caught you, waving a hand in front of your face with a snicker. you only glared at him.
Ā  it was mayor kim with the microphone, explaining the rules to the crowd. ā€œand, to decide the order for performance, we have conducted a random draw. as a result, we will see. . .choi yesung go first!ā€ he proclaimed, eliciting another round of cheers from the crowd.
Ā  from where you stood, you noticed jungkook naturally relax his shoulders. for that, you also breathed out a sigh of relief. he stepped away to where leo was, making way for yesung to complete his round.
Ā  when it was time to begin, everyone rose to their feet. from what you saw and heard of yesung, he was also a well-seasoned equestrian. he wasnā€™t as decorated as jungkook, but he had the advantage of winning the last show-jumping competition in the spring. you didnā€™t realize jungkook was out for vengeance, but he was indeed looking to reclaim his name.
Ā  every fraction of a second mattered in the jump-off round and so, your eyes were glued. the pressure was on and you watched yesung charge ahead. he decided to take some risky turns, likely to shave off time. the first one was executed perfectly and you nearly jumped at the second, challenging turn. it was not calculated well, as it resulted in a rail down at the penultimate fence.
Ā  ā€œoh shit!ā€ one of the boys yelped, watching the unfortunate accident.Ā 
Ā  yeung finished the course at a respectable, but flawed time. it was shame, since his speed and ability could have easily secured a victory. he knew it, too, judging by the disappointment in his eyes. you almost felt bad for him, if it wasnā€™t jungkook off to the side and gearing up for his turn.
Ā  now, it was jiwon screaming as loud as she could. ā€œYOU CAN DO IT!ā€ she screeched, cheering for her brother and you joined in.Ā 
Ā  already mounted on leo, jungkook looked up, right at your section. he gave a small wave and you all went wild - even mrs. oh, who brought her own sign to cheer him on. you guys werenā€™t the only ones, though, as it seemed that jungkook was a favourite amongst fans.
Ā  ā€œjeon jungkook, jeon jungkook, jeon jungkook,ā€ chanted the boys and you werenā€™t sure who started it, but you also began chanting, too.
Ā  he readied himself and at the sound of the horn, blasted off. the tensions were thicker, with the stakes at hand and the pressure on a seasoned competitor looking to re-establish himself. you couldnā€™t imagine the weight of the crowd under the beating of the july sun, considering the heat made you already down your water bottle by the first hour of the competition and were in half the clothing jungkook was in. between you and jiwon was a shared usb handheld fan, as the two of you silently took turns holding it - eyes too glued to the show and shouting jungkookā€™s name.
Ā  he was fast and sharp, yet every movement of his was so well thought out. at full force was a risky approach, but was so far bearing perfect results. you felt your heartbeat getting louder and louder, making your head pound with adrenaline. the last few seconds, the world became quiet and all you could focus on was jungkook. then, the eruption snapped you back into reality.
Ā  ā€œLETā€™S GOOO!ā€
Ā  if someone was somehow not on their feet watching the final round of the show, they certainly were now, as jungkook zoomed to the end with no flaws and an incredible time. even you had to blink a few times, trying to see the time recorded clearly and realize your eyes were not deceiving you.
Ā  ā€œthereā€™s no way thatā€™s not a record!ā€ you heard jimin exclaim and you didnā€™t doubt him.
Ā  there was a hushed murmur over the crowd, as mayor kim stepped to the podium once more. tapping the microphone a few times, you and the rest of the crowd winced at the feedback that came with it. then, mayor kim spoke.
Ā  ā€œladies and gentlemen. . .ā€ he begun, loud and clear.
Ā  jungkook was still catching his breath to the side, having yet to even take off his helmet. all eyes were peeled on mayor kim, as he took an extra pause for dramatics. if you werenā€™t also about to jump right out from your skin, youā€™d roll your eyes.
Ā  ā€œ. . we have a winner AND a record setting time. jeon jungkook, young man, please join me on this stage.ā€
Ā  no longer holding your breath, you roared along with your friends and the earth practically rumbled. jungkookā€™s smile was as bright as the day, as he whooped in response and raised his fist in the air. you were filled with nothing but joy.Ā 
Ā  before he stepped up onto the stage, jungkook displayed his integrity by walking towards yesung and enthusiastically shake the other manā€™s hand. yesung didnā€™t look too upset, more bewildered at the quality of performance that his opponent put on. they exchanged words, smiles reaching their eyes.
Ā  ā€œthatā€™s my brother!ā€ screamed jiwon, as if no one knew the obvious.
Ā  jungkook then took mayor kimā€™s hand in one and attempted to balance his new, golden trophy with the other arm. in a split second, your friends, jiwon, and the oh family began filing out of the stands and you could hear hoseok yelling for you to follow. you widened your eyes, shuffling out of your seat as quickly as possible.
Ā  of course, jiwon was the fastest and made it to the lawn first. she squealed, as jungkook embraced her in a hug and spun her around. the cheers didnā€™t falter and only grew when namjoon and taehyung momentarily put jungkook on their shoulders.
Ā  you trailed behind everyone, nearly stumbling on your way down. you couldnā€™t see much, tiptoeing as far as you could. the chatter was still loud, but then the small crowd parted as you heard jungkook call out. it was your name. he was calling for you to come to the front.
Ā  ā€œoooooh,ā€ someone said, but you ignored it.
Ā  there was no doubt in your mind that your cheeks were a cherry red, but you refused to look anyone in the eye - even jungkook. you and your friends gathered around the podium with jungkook, as the event photographer asked you to move closer for a picture. everyone made way for you, as jungkook gestured for you to be the one on his right side, while jiwon and mrs. oh were on his left.Ā 
Ā  ā€œcongratulations,ā€ you finally said, straining for your voice to be heard over the cheers. you still did not meet his eyes, finding yourself in a kind of shyness that was unknown to your normally headstrong personality.
Ā  that was something that came natural to jungkook, having an innate ability to bring out parts of you that you didnā€™t even know existed. before moving back to amber valley, you walked around with your chin up, thinking that you knew everything you needed to know.Ā 
Ā  now, at 25 years old, you knew harvesting soybeans and playing cards at the local pub with your new friends. you knew the smell of the ocean in the sweltering summer and you knew riding horses in sunflower fields at sundown. looking at jungkook, you knew what it was like to be slowly, but surely, swept off your feet. the realization creeped up on you, a sneaky little thing.
Ā  namjoon was the one holding onto leo, as your group huddled together for the picture. you instinctively hugged into jungkookā€™s touch, holding them in front of the camera.
Ā  jungkook spoke, right into your ear. ā€œiā€™m so glad i was able to have this moment with you.ā€
Ā  that made you finally look up at his eyes and in that moment, a flash went off. this is when you also snapped out of your daze and despite his stare unwavering, you turned back to the photographer.
Ā  ā€œoh, maybe we should take another -ā€ you started, knowing that neither you or jungkook were looking in the camera, but he waved you off.
Ā  ā€œno, no! this picture came out perfect,ā€ the photographer winked at you and asked for everyone to disperse, before you could argue. something told you that you were going to see a picture of you and jungkook gazing into each otherā€™s eyes on the front cover of the local newspaper.
Ā  he proceeded to take a few more solo pictures of jungkook with leo, followed by some shots with the mayor. jungkook was supposed to be kept busy, but he continued sneaking glances your way.
Ā  it was mrs. oh who gently tapped your shoulder. ā€œnowā€™s the time, honey. come to the store quick before he notices.ā€
Ā  beside her, sangwoo rolled his eyes. ā€œheā€™s going to notice, he hasnā€™t taken his eyes off of her.ā€
Ā  regardless, you scrambled to follow behind mrs. oh. you weaved through the crowd, who all wanted to take a look at their champion in disbelief of the amazing time jungkook scored. the show began relatively early in the day, too, so the streets were only now becoming more and more full with the midsummer festival in full swing.
Ā  the roads were blocked off for pedestrian access only, as the fair was one of the busiest times of the year for amber valley. today was a day that drew crowds from outside of town, as the festival was an adored regional celebration and served as a tourist destination. you wouldnā€™t be surprised if you were told that the midsummer festival attracted the highest visitors of any other day in the year for the town.
Ā  carnival games, market booths and amusement rides were already set up since the morning and it was already getting tiresome to navigate through the festival goers. but, of course, you were trailing behind the force that was mrs. oh, who made way with ease with her commanding voice.Ā 
Ā  ā€œtime to get to work,ā€ she sighed, pulling out a key from her pocket upon reaching the general store.
Ā  you said, ā€œitā€™s a shame you canā€™t enjoy the festivities, mrs. oh.ā€
Ā  ā€œoh, i donā€™t mind. iā€™ve lived in this town all my life, iā€™ve been here, there and everywhere when it comes to the fair,ā€ she mused, unlocking the front door for the two of you. ā€œbusiness is business, the traffic the store will get is more important.ā€
Ā  a cool blanket enveloped your skin once you stepped in and you were never more grateful for the invention of air conditioning in your life. she was right, though, as you noticed some people nearby the store and already eyeing it.
Ā  ā€œmost businesses are closed today, but not us!ā€ mrs. oh smiled, as she turned the sign by the window from ā€˜closedā€™ to ā€˜open.ā€™
Ā  this is how you knew how much jungkook truly meant to mrs. oh. ā€œjungkook is real lucky for you to open late just to watch him,ā€ you said, examining the front counter and spotting a pair of jungkookā€™s work gloves.
Ā  ā€œthe store opens late every time he has a competition. sangwoo adores him and that young man and jiwon are family to us,ā€ mrs. oh mused, seemingly lost in thought, before blinking back into the moment. ā€œah, donā€™t mind me. i almost forgot why youā€™re here, sweetie - the flowers are in the back room!ā€
Ā  you thanked mrs. oh, following the direction that she pointed towards. jimin called you corny for getting jungkook flowers for your first official date, but you thought it was fitting, given the competition. it was even better with the results of the show and you could only hope that jungkook liked the ones you picked out. you figured that men deserve to get a nice bouquet of flowers at least once, too.Ā 
Ā  the bundle of fresh sunflowers were actually your favourites, but that wasnā€™t important. you grabbed them from the backroom fridge, wrapped in cellophane and yellow paper. this was when you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket and your eyes widened, hoping it wasnā€™t jungkook just yet.
Ā  unfortunately, your hopes disappeared, but the text still put a smile on your face - just because it was him at the end of the day.
Ā  are you at the store? i saw you and mrs. oh lol i can be there in a few minutes.Ā 
Ā  you replied yes and came out to wait. the store already had its first customers within a few minutes of opening and mrs. oh was ringing them out. she met your eyes and winked, mouthing some encouraging words to you.Ā 
Ā  with the same smile on your lips, you mouthed a ā€˜thank youā€™ to her.Ā 
Ā  although you would have loved to loiter inside the store for the air conditioning, you were already bashful enough from everyone watching you and jungkook at the show and you would have rather met jungkook away from mrs. ohā€™s nosiness. she was lovely, but she appeared to be one of your and jungkookā€™s biggest fans and you didnā€™t want to act awkward, knowing that you were being watched.
Ā  the bouquet was hidden behind your back, as you patiently waited outdoors. you didnā€™t know what to expect out of your day, but the longer you waited for jungkook, you grew more and more nervous. it was odd, knowing that the anxiety pooling at the bottom of your stomach was because of your childhood best friend.Ā 
Ā  the thoughts were promptly swept away when you caught sight of jungkook approaching you. he changed clothes from his riding gear, sans his favourite dirty boots that remained on his feet, and was now wearing a plain white t-shirt and denim jeans. you always had to take a moment to admire the definition of his muscles and his sharp gaze that left you breathless, but you were distracted this time by the bundle of golden flowers in his grasp.
Ā  jungkook looked a little bit concerned at your expression, as you were stifling a laugh. you almost felt bad, but the sight was too funny for you to ignore.
Ā  ā€œhey - uh, what?ā€ he furrowed his eyebrows at you.
Ā  you revealed the identical bouquet from behind your laugh and he, too, looked dumbfounded. the wrapping and greenery differed from one another, but it was clear that the two of you picked your flowers from the same field by your houses. it was the same field the two of you rode on the past summer and played in as kids.
Ā  ā€œcongratulations again for first place,ā€ was all you could manage to say, offering your flowers towards him.
Ā  jungkook finally broke out into a chuckle, shaking his head. ā€œthank you. congratulations, for uh. . ā€œ
Ā  ā€œfor what? being jeon jungkookā€™s date to the fair?ā€ you chided, as you took his flowers in your hands.
Ā  ā€œshut up. am i not original or something?ā€ jungkook asked. ā€œlike, come on, we got each other the same thing. iā€™m already failing at this date thing, arenā€™t i?ā€ he joked.
Ā  you rolled your eyes and flicked his arms. ā€œitā€™s been, like, five seconds.ā€
Ā  ā€œow!ā€
Ā  ā€œweā€™re not just on a date today, jungkook. weā€™re on a mission to win some prizes,ā€ you declared.Ā 
Ā  jungkook tilted his head slightly with a smile growing. ā€œoh, are we?ā€ he paused. ā€œthen, am i allowed to hold your hand during this mission?ā€
Ā  the idea startled you, but you didnā€™t shy away. nodding without a word, this was the signal for jungkook to pick up your free hand and interlock his fingers with yours. somehow, it wasnā€™t a moment that sent ringing sensations in your ears nor was it one in slow motion. it was familiar, almost, and felt. . . right. it felt natural, like it was coming home after a long day.
Ā  you leaned in to whisper in his ear, ā€œand thank you for the flowers. you remembered my favourite.ā€ you werenā€™t even sure how he knew, but you knew that jungkook would only give you a gift with a well-thought out meaning behind them.Ā 
Ā  this time, it was jungkookā€™s cheeks who reddened slightly. he didnā€™t say anything else, only squeezing your hand and leading the way.
Ā  ***
Ā  jungkook was tired. you were tired of telling him to suck it up. you had gone two summers in a row without winning a single prize and you were determined to walk away from the fair with at least one thing. albeit, at this point, you ran out of tickets to play games and you knew jungkook had extra, since he received some from his parents, but your grandfather also gave him some. he was your last hope, as you begged him to use the last of his tickets to get you something.
Ā  ā€œhoseok hyung told me these games are rigged. canā€™t we just go do bumper cars, bunny?ā€ jungkook groaned, as the two of you walked away empty handed from balloon darts.
Ā  you pouted. ā€œno. i just want one of those big charmander stuffies, i know you can win them!ā€
Ā  ā€œwhy donā€™t you play the games?ā€
Ā  ā€œbecause iā€™m bad at them, how do you think i lost all of my tickets so quickly?ā€ you responded, crossing your arms over your chest.
Ā  jungkook grumbled more complaints under his breath, while you forcibly dragged him towards the ring toss booth.
Ā  ā€œhey kids! giving the ā€˜ol ring toss a try?ā€ beamed the booth attendant, who was the same every year.
Ā  you werenā€™t entirely sure what his name was, but you and jungkook collectively agreed on calling him ā€œcarnival manā€ and he recognized the two of you each time the festival was in town. though you were about four feet of fury at the time, you had quiet rage against carnival man. you were convinced he cheated you out of getting the xl sized penguin prize last year and you wanted revenge.Ā 
Ā  ā€œkookie will do it!ā€ you exclaimed, smugly pushing your best friend forward.
Ā  ā€œyeah, whatever, kookie will do it,ā€ jungkook rolled his eyes and handed over a single ticket to carnival man.
Ā  carnival man happily took the ticket from jungkook. ā€œitā€™s nice to see you kids again. youā€™re always together, huh?ā€
Ā  ā€œunfortunately,ā€ the two of you said in unison, only for you two to shoot each other identical daggers.
Ā  at this, carnival man guffawed in amusement and gave jungkook his sets of rings.Ā 
Ā  here, jungkook did not win. in fact, he didnā€™t win you a single thing that summer and you didnā€™t speak to him for the following day because of it. only a day, though, since carnival man was right - the two of you were always together. you eventually gave in after the first day of silent treatment and showed up to jungkookā€™s house with your horse, marshmallow, and convinced him to join you by the sunflower fields. he had scoffed, called you stupid, and then without missing a beat, came outside to accompany you.
Ā  ***
Ā  ā€œkookie! and. . .bunny? is that you?ā€
Ā  carnival man was a lot older than you remembered, but you werenā€™t sure if it was just the tricks of time playing a game on you. it seemed like everything was so much more youthful and bright in your childhood memories. however, the brightness in carnival manā€™s smile didnā€™t falter and it only widened upon laying eyes on you and jungkook. then, his eyes trailed over to your clasped hands together and it widened even more.
Ā  ā€œyou remember me?ā€ you gaped, as carnival man took your hand and shook it vigorously.Ā 
Ā  ā€œof course i do! well, i remember the two of you, specifically,ā€ he exclaimed. ā€œi see jungkook here, but iā€™ll always remember how you two kids came around together every summer! youā€™re all grown up now!ā€
Ā  although lines of age creased his smile and streaks of grey contrasted against his black hair, seeing carnival man again made you feel like you were ten years old all over again. the fair seemed so much more larger than life and this moment was one of those moments that reminded you of why you loved summer so much.
Ā  jungkook smiled, ā€œitā€™s nice to see you, mr. lee.ā€ he appeared to be a bit shy, as the older man was fixated on the sight of you two holding hands.
Ā  it occurred to you that carnival man was never his real name and meeting him as mr. lee felt like a call to the reality in which you were now a grown up. you realized that jungkook continued to see mr. lee at the fair over the years without you and didnā€™t feel the same rush of nostalgia.
Ā  the only reason why jungkook couldnā€™t also shake mr. leeā€™s hand was the abundance of prizes nestled into his arms. the two of you left your sunflower bouquets at the general store - luckily, it was now busy with tourists wanting water bottles or sunscreen and the two of you avoided any gushing or questioning from mrs. oh - and thank god you did because you did not expect to be carrying around so many things. a mini teddy bear, a sheet of temporary tattoos, a t-shirt, some gift cards, and a larger kuromi plush toy that was double the size of your head.
Ā  thankfully, jungkook held onto everything without complaint and remarked that you had no business carrying anything so long as he was there. the funny part was that you two had barely visited all of the games and the only reason why youā€™d won so many prizes was because you two were competing at each one.
Ā  ā€œand you know i refuse to lose,ā€ jungkook said at the first game, which was a basketball shootout.Ā 
Ā  with the same competitive spirit, the two of you both did very well at each game and walked away with a prize from almost every one. it also probably helped that you were now adults with disposable income and could pay to participate in as many games as you wanted. jungkook had announced that he was ready to make up for his past failrures, never forgetting the summer that resulted in your silent treatment because of his inability to win you a prize. you didn't think that meant struggling to carry around your prizes within the first hour.
Ā  now, mr. lee began setting up the ring toss for the two of you. ā€œso, you moved back to amber valley, young lady?ā€
Ā  ā€œyes, sir. iā€™m running the family farm now,ā€ you replied.
Ā  ā€œcongratulations, bunny. thatā€™s some hard, honest work, my best wishes to you!ā€ mr. lee said. ā€œyou know, i always thought you two had quite a special bond, even at a young age.ā€
Ā  jungkook avoided eye contact. ā€œmr. lee, youā€™re kind,ā€ he chuckled, nervously.Ā 
Ā  ā€œi mean it! it fills my heart with joy to see you two here after all these years.ā€ there was twinkle in mr. leeā€™s eyes as he spoke. ā€œfor some people, their universes are stitched together with unseen threads that will always lead them back to where they belong.ā€
Ā  it was your turn to squeeze jungkookā€™s hand and neither of you said anything more, only exchanging a look.
Ā  ***
Ā  jungkook wouldnā€™t stop pouting and you werenā€™t sure what to do about it. it really wasnā€™t your fault, you couldnā€™t help the fact that, like most young girls, you got your growth spurt earlier than your male friend. you were a few inches taller than jungkook at this point and he was deflated to learn that you were tall enough for the rollercoaster, while he had yet to measure up.
Ā  ā€œsorry kid. maybe next year,ā€ the ride attendant gave jungkook a small smile.
Ā  you were disappointed, as well, as you and jungkook had waited nearly thirty minutes in line. all for jungkook to not be able to ride the coaster. you turned to him, who sighed.
Ā  he said, ā€œitā€™s okay, bunny. you can go on without me.ā€
Ā  a part of you did want to get on the ride, especially after waiting for quite some time, but you didnā€™t hesitate to shake your head.Ā 
Ā  ā€œno. i wonā€™t go on without you,ā€ you stressed, to which jungkook looked at you in shock.Ā 
Ā  he shook his head. ā€œno, itā€™s okay. just go, we waited for so long.ā€
Ā  ā€œi said iā€™m not going,ā€ you said, standing your ground.
Ā  instead, you walked off from the front of the line, ignoring jungkook calling your name until he ran up to catch up to you.Ā 
Ā  ā€œhey! what are you doing?ā€
Ā  ā€œi said iā€™d go with you. if youā€™re not there, thereā€™s no point,ā€ you shrugged, as if it was no big deal. ā€œweā€™ll go next time. hey, wanna go see carnival man and do ring toss?ā€
Ā  you didnā€™t wait for an answer, as you made a beeline for the ring toss booth. jungkook jogged up to you and you noticed that he was trying to hide the smile on his face.
Ā  ***
Ā  ā€œjungkook. . .this is the kidā€™s roller coaster.ā€
Ā  everyone else in the line was about half jungkookā€™s size, unless they were one of the parents giving the two of you a dirty look for getting on the kidā€™s coaster. there was no explicit rule that adults couldnā€™t ride the rollercoaster, but it was a very popular ride and jungkook had the privilege of cutting the line, as the two of you were given a free ā€œfast laneā€ pass by mayor kim for being local small business owners.Ā  the fast lane pass was costly and the majority of fairgoers opted to wait in the long lines.
Ā  jungkook didnā€™t seem to care too much, though. ā€œyeah, so what? you picked the giant swing and said the next ride was my choice.ā€
Ā  ā€œyouā€™re pissing off the kids,ā€ you whispered in a lower voice, as the attendant let out the last party from the rollercoaster. you guys were up next. ā€œi thought you would want to do the drop tower or something.ā€
Ā  ā€œyou promised me that we could go on the ride the last time we were here. remember, when i was too short?ā€ he casually whistled.Ā 
Ā  ā€œjungkook, that was, like, seventeen years ago.ā€
Ā  he continued, ā€œand i wrote it for our summer bucket list! you may have never seen it, but i was dying to go on this ride.ā€
Ā  and that was how you found yourself crammed into a kid-sized rollercoaster at the very front with jungkook. with impeccable timing, it looked as though some of the boys were passing by. seokjin caught your eye first and tapped taehyungā€™s shoulder beside him, who then got namjoonā€™s attention.
Ā  ā€œoh my god,ā€ you groaned, watching the three of them wave wildly at you and jungkook.Ā 
Ā  on the other hand, jungkook found this hilarious. he waved back and you covered your blushing face with your hands. you were already embarrassed from the cut eye given to you by the parents in line, now this.
Ā  ā€œhave fun, lovebirds!ā€ called namjoon, as seokjin and taehyung proceeded to take several pictures of you and jungkook from afar.
Ā  ***
Ā  ā€œmy tooth hurts!ā€ you whined, shoving your cotton candy into jungkookā€™s hands.
Ā  at seven years old, it was on the later side for you to lose your first tooth. youā€™d been wiggling it for weeks, but cried when jimin offered to rip it out of your mouth for you. this happened just a few moments ago, before jungkook yelled at him to go back to his mommy.Ā 
Ā  jungkook didnā€™t seem bothered and was actually pleased to double fist two sticks of cotton candy. ā€œthanks bunny!ā€ he ignored your complaints and happily continued snacking away.
Ā  this was the first year that you and jungkook were permitted to roam around without adult supervision - kind of. as long as you were in vicinity of ten year old hoseok, who was sitting on a bench and playing on his gameboy advance, the two of you were free to play together.
Ā  ā€œthis isnā€™t fair, iā€™m not allowed to eat anything,ā€ you huffed. your grandfather warned you that any sort of sweet will just hurt and you were better off enjoying other parts of the festival.
Ā  ā€œdonā€™t tell my parents, they said i could only have one cotton candy,ā€ jungkook said, as he observed your sad appearance. ā€œwhy do you look like that?ā€
Ā  ā€œlike what?ā€
Ā  ā€œyou look sad. itā€™s ugly on you,ā€ jungkook mindlessly commented and you flicked his arm. ā€œow!ā€
Ā  you glared at him. ā€œdonā€™t call me ugly!ā€
Ā  ā€œi said looking sad is ugly on you. so, donā€™t be sad,ā€ jungkook replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Ā  when your expression didnā€™t change, jungkook sighed and looked over to where hoseok was sitting. the older boyā€™s eyes were glued to his screen and was now joined by jimin, who was cheering him on in whatever game he was playing. then, jungkook turned back to you.
Ā  ā€œwhat?ā€ you asked.
Ā  ā€œwanna go watch the magician show?ā€ he asked, grinning. ā€œso you can stop being sad.ā€
Ā  your eyes widened, as you took your turn to look over your shoulder at hoseok. ā€œyour mom said to stay nearby! what if we get in trouble?ā€
Ā  ā€œi dare you to come with me to the magician show,ā€ jungkook countered, knowing that was the secret word that made you do just about anything. you hated the idea of losing dares to jungkook and had yet to do so.
Ā  you knew you were going to get an earful if you left hoseokā€™s sight, who was supposed to be watching over you. then, you remembered that, earlier that day, hoseok refused to let you play a level of mega man on his gameboy and decided you didnā€™t care if you got him in trouble.
Ā  ā€œokay! letā€™s go!ā€ your features suddenly brightened and you let jungkook take you by the wrist - not the hand because, ew, it was jungkook - towards the other end of the fairgrounds.Ā 
Ā  the cotton candy had already been consumed and jungkook tossed the paper sticks into the nearest trash can, as the two of you quietly giggled about your mischievous sneak-away.Ā 
Ā  ***
Ā  unlike jungkook, jiwon had no trouble tracking down her sibling at any given moment, even with the large crowds gathered for the festival. she also didnā€™t seem to care that her brother was in the middle of a date, as you were the one to first notice that she was dragging sangwoo by the wrist in your direction.Ā 
Ā  ā€œis something wrong, jiwon?ā€ jungkook asked and there was a tinge of annoyance in his voice at the appearance of the younger girl. the two of you were engaged in somewhat of a flirtatious conversation and jiwonā€™s premise immediately killed jungookā€™s mood.
Ā  ā€œhi y/n!ā€ she greeted and then she turned to jungkook wearing a sickly sweet smile. ā€œoppa, may i have ten bucks?ā€
Ā  ā€œi gave you twenty bucks this morning,ā€ he raised an eyebrow at her.Ā 
Ā  meanwhile, sangwoo was in awe of the amount of prizes in jungkookā€™s arms. ā€œwoah! you guys won all of those?ā€ at this point, there was an addition of a frisbee and a stuffed octopus.Ā 
Ā  ā€œi won most of them,ā€ both you and jungkook said at the same time, resulting in a shared glare.Ā 
Ā  jiwon cleared her throat. ā€œso. can i have ten bucks, please? we wanna get cotton candy!ā€
Ā  ā€œwhat did you do with the first twenty bucks?ā€
Ā  ā€œwe went on the teacup ride! oh, and we got rice cakes and funnel cake and actual cake,ā€ jiwon explained and went a little too fast, so you didnā€™t doubt that the kids did, in fact, consume all that sugar.
Ā  it seemed like jungkook also didnā€™t doubt it and while you knew he wanted to scold her, you were taken aback to find him letting go of your hand to reach for his wallet in his back pocket. he sighed and, as he was still carrying all of your prizes, merely held it out for jiwon to fish a twenty out of.Ā 
Ā  ā€œonly because today is the festival,ā€ he warned and muttered a second part under his breath, ā€œand only so you can leave us alone.ā€
Ā  you also had the same feeling that jiwon and sangwoo were not going anywhere without their ultimate goal, especially since the former seemed to have the same persistence that her brother had.
Ā  ā€œthank you, i love you!ā€ jiwon declared, handing the wallet back to her brother and planting an exaggerated kiss on his cheek. ā€œthank you, thank you! weā€™ll leave you alone now!ā€
Ā  the pair scurried off together, as sangwoo also yelled out his thanks. they ran through the crowd together, giggling amongst themselves. when jungkook took your hand again, you were still lost in thought, watching the two purchase cotton candy from far away. sangwoo handed the first stick to jiwon and the two talked with one another, cheerily enjoying their treat.
Ā  ā€œdonā€™t get me wrong, making sure jiwon is eating healthy is important to me, but todayā€™s the fair. itā€™s special for her and sangwoo like it was for us, might as well let her off the hook for today.ā€ he noticed you watching them and followed your stare. ā€œtheyā€™re cute, arenā€™t they?ā€
Ā  ā€œthey are. how long have they been that close?ā€
Ā  ā€œsince they were born, basically. theyā€™re always with each other,ā€ jungkook shook his head.
Ā  ā€œdo you think jiwon has a little crush?ā€ you wondered aloud, as jiwon shoved sangwoo playfully for whatever joke he might have had made.Ā 
Ā  jungkook asked, ā€œdid you?ā€
Ā  he was referring to the two of you as kids, as it was clear that your shared wistful stares at jiwon and sangwoo were a product of looking back at your own childhoods. two best friends that stood by each otherā€™s sides at all times and grew up together. you had to admit, you saw your and jungkookā€™s reflections when you looked at jiwon and sangwoo.Ā 
Ā  upon hearing the question, you rolled your eyes. ā€œyou wish, jeon jungkook.ā€
Ā  but, you werenā€™t entirely sure. adults joked that you and jungkook would grow up to marry each other, just from watching you two play chess or ride horses together. there was a magnetic force that naturally stuck the two of you together, from day one. you cared deeply for jungkook before you could have a comprehensive understanding of what it was like to have love for someone beyond your family.
Ā  ā€œpretty sure i had a crush on you. thatā€™s probably why i was devastated when you stopped coming to the valley,ā€ he casually mentioned, but you turned to him in surprise.
Ā  ā€œwere you really?ā€
Ā  ā€œyeah. you were my closest friend.ā€
Ā  ā€œiā€™m sorry,ā€ you said. ā€œyou were mine, too. i just thought you would forget about me, i guess. then, i donā€™t know - ā€œ
Ā  jungkook cut in, ā€œ- we grew up. thatā€™s what happened, itā€™s okay.ā€
Ā  that was the reality of life. it was sad to look back on, but it was overshadowed by the incredible forces that brought you and jungkook back together. never, in a million years, would you have ever imagined standing in the middle of the amber valley midsummer festival with jeon jungkook ever again.Ā 
Ā  ā€œever since i came back, you became my closest friend again. even with all the weird stuff going on between us,ā€ you admitted the last part with the roll of your eyes.
Ā  although you were just teasing, jungkookā€™s expression turned serious. ā€œhey, i am sorry about that. but, honestly. . . ā€œ he sighed. ā€œlike you said, we became close friends again. and so fast, too.ā€
Ā  ā€œit got confusing, didnā€™t it?ā€ you asked, looking at your feet. ā€œwhen things seemed like it could be more, i kept trying to convince myself that, you know, this is just how we are. weā€™re friends, this is how we act and nothing more.ā€
Ā  ā€œyou read my mind. you really did,ā€ jungkook said, looking at you with a surprised expression. ā€œi think i always knew, though. from the moment i saw you again.ā€
Ā  you thought back to the first time you met jungkook again. you remembered how soft his hands were and how he managed to make you smile on one of the worst days of your life. that was just jungkook, though, and his way of bringing sunlight into your life, even when it was raining.Ā 
Ā  ā€œi. . .i think i knew, too. but, i thought you just saw me as the little girl who used to play with you in your backyard.ā€
Ā  he shook his head. ā€œi thought you had so much on your plate. and, well, iā€™ll admit, iā€™ve had trouble even considering a love life since becoming jiwonā€™s guardian. sheā€™s always come first in my life before anything else.ā€
Ā  ā€œi donā€™t blame you, i canā€™t imagine what the past few years have been like for you,ā€ you said. ā€œbut, you were a tad bit stupid. letā€™s be real.ā€
Ā  jungkook snorted. ā€œyeah, i know i was stupid. believe me, the last thing i wanted to do was fully push you away. my childhood best friend came back into my life and i had to confront that she was now a strong, beautiful and incredibly intelligent woman that i had feelings for.ā€
Ā  this was the first time that things were finally being said aloud and it was as if a thousand pounds was being lifted off of your shoulders. you were light, you were flying.Ā 
Ā  ā€œbut,ā€ he continued. ā€œi also had to confront that you were still my closest friend, the person who i can turn to when things go wrong. you were my friend who i laughed with and shared things with and i couldnā€™t lose that. i have the guys, but no one compares to how in sync we are.ā€
Ā  ā€œi know what you mean. we complement each other in this crazy way. . .ā€ you trailed off.Ā 
Ā  mr. lee spoke about destinies stitched together and things meant to be. holding jungkookā€™s hand felt meant to be in a way that it was just natural. so did laughing with him and making him dinner and letting him do things for you, simply because he didnā€™t want you to do it by yourself.
Ā  jungkook said, ā€œdo you see why i was afraid of this?ā€ he gestured to the two of you holding hands. ā€œif i fuck this up with you, iā€™ll lose both my girlfriend and my best friend. if i fuck this up with you, iā€™ll have let you down during a time where you just moved to a whole new town for a job with all these expectations that everyone has for you.ā€
Ā  ā€œyou donā€™t have to be afraid of those things,ā€ you murmured, gently placing your free hand on his arm.
Ā  ā€œiā€™m not. not anymore, when the what ifs and the idea of missing out on something good with you is even scarier.ā€
Ā  suddenly, you took a look around your surroundings. it obviously wasnā€™t planned, but the two of you were having quite the intimate conversation just across from the face painting booth and the craft stalls. you tugged jungkook into a random corner, where there was a lone chair in between walls.
Ā  ā€œcan you put the prizes down for a second?ā€ you asked.
Ā  jungkook was confused. ā€œhuh?ā€
Ā  ā€œcan you put the prizes down so i can kiss you?ā€ you commanded, giving him a pointed look.Ā 
Ā  then, he chuckled and without hesitation, placed your various trinkets down on the chair. you rolled your eyes with a smile and jungkook hooked a thumb on one of the belt loops of your jean shorts, using it to pull you closer. he leaned in, placing his other hand at the small of your back.
Ā  jungkook, too, smiled into the kiss and like everything else, it felt natural. it felt like home. you melted into his arms as you always do, softly kissing back.Ā 
Ā  although you could have stood there forever with him, lost in his touch, you had to pull away. ā€œyou scared of that?ā€ you raised an eyebrow.
Ā  ā€œshut up man,ā€ jungkook said, but stole a quick peck from you before he let you go from his embrace.
Ā  you thought you would never stand in the middle of the amber valley midsummer festival with jeon jungkook ever again. the world worked in mysterious ways and you were proven wrong. more so, you werenā€™t just standing with jungkook. you were a woman standing in the middle of the town that built your hopes and dreams. you were standing in middle of the fair that never shook off its magic, even years later. you were standing with the man who made you realize that home wasnā€™t just a place.
Ā  ***
Ā  it was safe to say that you freaked out when jungkook showed you what he stole from his dadā€™s tool box. you were so scared that jungkook had to beg you to not snitch on him and even threatened that he would tell your grandfather that youā€™d been making him help you complete your chores in the chicken coop.Ā 
Ā  ā€œitā€™s just a pocket knife, bunny.ā€
Ā  ā€œitā€™s sharp! you could hurt yourself!ā€ you hissed, stepping a few feet away from him like he had mad cow disease.
Ā  jungkook sighed and ignored you, walking over to where your sitting spot was. this year, the midsummer festival fell on what was easily the hottest day of the summer. the heat wave was unlike any other youā€™d experienced so far and you were surprised that the fair was still going on. the two of you had completed just under ten minutes at the bouncy castle before you insisted you needed a break.
Ā  the two of you had found a random tree to sit under, as you split an ice cream float to beat the heat. this is when jungkook said he had ā€œsomething coolā€ to show you.
Ā  you had no choice but to leave your grumbles under your breath, finding your place beside jungkook since the ice cream float was in his hand. ā€œyouā€™re hogging it all,ā€ you complained and he handed it over to you.
Ā  ā€œare you done freaking out?ā€ he asked.
Ā  ā€œwhat are you even gonna do with that?ā€
Ā  it was as if jungkook was waiting for you to ask the question. ā€œthis.ā€ he clicked it open and turned behind him, to the lower part of the tree of which you were leaning on.Ā 
Ā  your eyes were wide, as jungkook began scratching away at the wood. the first letter you could make out was ā€œJā€ and you nervously looked around your surroundings. it didnā€™t seem like anyone was paying attention to the two of you, occupied with the festivities or trying to not pass out from the sun.Ā 
Ā  jungkook completed a ā€œKā€ and moved on to slowly carving out your initials. ā€œso we remember today!ā€
Ā  ā€œitā€™s gonna be there forever,ā€ you sputtered. ā€œmy grandpa says that trees last forever if no one cuts them down. . .so, since our names are there, weā€™ll be best friends forever!ā€
Ā  a toothy grin stretched across jungkookā€™s face. ā€œyeah! we are. weā€™re going to be best friends forever.ā€
Ā  ***
Ā  considering jungkookā€™s victory earlier in the day, several people stopped to congratulate him throughout the afternoon. he was hard to miss and he was also just a generally well-known person around town.
Ā  that was precisely why you were scared shitless that someone was going to recognize either of you committing vandalism.Ā 
Ā  ā€œyouā€™re covering me, right?ā€
Ā  ā€œi am, but can you hurry up?ā€ you demanded through gritted teeth, trying to look over your shoulder to see if anyone was looking your way without looking suspicious.
Ā  from the unassuming eye, it looked like you and jungkook were merely engaged in conversation. . .but facing the tree. you were sat cross-legged, turned to the tree as if it was another person talking amongst yourselves. instead, you were trying to cover jungkook carving into the wood.
Ā  you shook your head. ā€œi canā€™t believe our names are still on this.ā€
Ā  ā€œwe did say it would be forever,ā€ jungkook reminded you and if he wasnā€™t holding a pocket knife in his hands, you wouldā€™ve shoved him over.
Ā  you always remembered that your and jungkookā€™s names lived on the bark of a random tree in town. there was no way you could forget the scolding the two of you received for defacing town property.Ā 
Ā  ā€œwhat if they notice? weā€™re adults now, we could get charged for this,ā€ you said.
Ā  ā€œthen we say it was always like this,ā€ jungkook concluded and caught your eye. ā€œwhat? what are they gonna do, tell my mom and your grandpa?ā€Ā 
Ā  at that, you did let out a laugh. ā€œi canā€™t imagine what theyā€™re thinking, watching us from up there.ā€
Ā  then, jungkook clicked his pocket knife close and scooted over on the grass, as heā€™d been blocking his work from your view the entire time. he made the initials deeper into the wood, ensuring that it wasnā€™t going anywhere, and added a heart around the letters. once depicting you and jungkook as friends ā€œ4ever,ā€ it was now framed by the heart and shifted its meaning altogether.Ā 
Ā  ā€œthey likely made a bet about us getting together and the winner is probably rejoicing,ā€ you suspected and jungkook nodded in agreement, snickering under his breath.Ā 
Ā  your hands grazed over the carved design and you thought back to the moment where the two of you first sat under the same tree.Ā 
Ā  jungkook said, ā€œpretty good first date, huh? scammed some booths out of their prizes, pissed off the entirety of amber valley elementary and we vandalized town property.ā€ he looked pleased with himself leaning against the tree and wrapped an arm around your shoulders.
Ā  with your legs stretched out and the crime completed, you were able to relax underneath the protection of the leafy branches. ā€œmhm, definitely a first date that iā€™ll never forget,ā€ you laughed, placing your head on jungkookā€™s chest.Ā 
Ā  the two of you bought an ice cream float for old times sake and jungkook brought it closer to you, so that you wouldnā€™t have to move. it seemed to be a constant - jungkook doing things for you just because. just because he didnā€™t want you to do it yourself. just because he wanted to do something for you.
Ā  ā€œi have arms, you know,ā€ you joked, but took a sip regardless.Ā 
Ā  he responded, unfazed, ā€œi know.ā€Ā 
Ā  the smile the two of you shared confirmed your thoughts. whether you were kids and jungkook walked you home every time just because or you were adults and jungkook wanted to spend his whole day fixing your windows just because. that was just how he was always going to be for you.
Ā  ā€œwell, do you know that a first date implies that thereā€™s going to be a second date?ā€ you decided to be bold for once, as all your anxieties evaporated when you accepted that jungkook was both your best friend and a person you held feelings for - a coexistence that you realized was possible and even exciting.
Ā  jungkook scoffed. ā€œsecond date? did you not see the tree, youā€™re stuck with me forever.ā€ his joke resulted in you playfully hitting his chest.Ā 
Ā  ā€œdid you just curse me with some witchcraft on this tree or something?ā€
Ā  ā€œrock hard, huh?ā€ he asked, ignoring your accusation and was referring to you hitting his chest. ā€œtrust me, i know.ā€ jungkook flexed his arm muscles and although he was kidding around, it was quite impressive and distracting.
Ā  ā€œiā€™m totally objectifying you right now, by the way. i can admit that now, right?ā€ you smirked. ā€œā€˜cause iā€™ve been checking you out for months.ā€
Ā  at that, jungkook genuinely appeared to be a bit sheepish, his ears first turning pink like they always do. ā€œdrink your float, man,ā€ he insisted, using it as a tool to shut you up. you nearly choked from holding in your laugh as you took another sip, which made him laugh, too.
Ā  you sat up slightly, but still mostly laying your body weight on your jungkook, only to crane your neck to see the letters carved onto the tree. the carving waited for you two for years to return. a part of you couldnā€™t believe that it was jungkook you were stealing kisses and blushing from.Ā 
Ā  ā€œbut, for real,ā€ jungkook spoke, now also looking at his handy work. ā€œa second date is nothing when the tree says youā€™re stuck with me. that means youā€™re my girl.ā€
Ā  he held your chin with his free hand so that you could look into his eyes as he declared the last part. jungkookā€™s gaze was warm and you now understood what it was like to feel butterflies in your stomach. it was always one of those things that you read about in books and couldnā€™t comprehend. you understood the moon and stars and you understood economics and science. this moment with jungkook was a pair of fresh eyes that opened your heart to a feeling of completeness that felt like it had always been there.Ā 
Ā  ā€œwow, youā€™re not even going to ask me? this is the worst confession ever,ā€ you managed to tease, your smile failing to fight the happiness spreading throughout your body.Ā 
Ā  jungkook retorted, ā€œi saw it in your eyes, you were about to ask me first. i had to beat you to the punch, you know i hate letting you win things.ā€
Ā  ā€œi think i won either way here,ā€ you beamed, placing your head back onto jungkookā€™s chest. you could feel his heart beating loudly, but he didnā€™t seem to mind and planted a kiss on your forehead. jungkook wanted you to know how much this moment meant to him, too.Ā 
Ā  your first summer back in amber valley was nothing you expected. your grandfatherā€™s last wishes for you were for you to discover nature and what it meant to make real connections with people. it was a head first journey that you embarked on, all by yourself. yet, months later, you found yourself surrounded by a family you found yourself and the beauty of a town that you thought was forever going to only live in your memories and dreams. you found belonging.Ā 
Ā  jungkook taught you that home wasnā€™t a place. home was the sunday market with friends. home was doing things you would have never imagined yourself doing, like salsa dancing and paddle boarding. home lived in watching your hard work bloom into something greater than yourself, with each harvest and each morning you spent feeding your animals. home was even a person - a horse-riding man who was unselfish at his core and loved breakfast for dinner.Ā 
Ā  you dreaded the end of the night, as it seemed like the midsummer festival was a blissful magic that you never wanted to end. you could have lived in this moment forever.Ā 
Ā  ā€œgoodnight, bunny. iā€™ll see you tomorrow,ā€ jungkook said, as the two of you stood at the doorstep of the farmhouse. he leaned down and met you in a soft kiss, where he murmured a thank you against your lips for the perfect day you shared.
Ā  there, you realized that the magic didnā€™t have to end. there was always a tomorrow to look forward to when everyday was a new day to fall more and more in love with your best friend. the magic in the air didnā€™t even have to end when the last of the summer heat turned into the first chill of autumn, amidst the shifting hues of the leaves. the magic kept you warm throughout the winter and blossomed in the springtime.Ā 
Ā  for the first time in your life, you no longer had to walk away from jungkook come the rain of september. when you were younger, it seemed like the magic of amber valley only existed in the warmer months. summer was a special place in your heart and the memories of your youth, but home was something that stood by you through the changing seasons.
š“š€š† š‹šˆš’š“. @shellyyy177 @myseokjinji @teddybeartaetae @jalexad @sstrongstyle @wobblewobble822 @seokout @taiwan0618 @firelcrds @xwniazx
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lovelessrage Ā· 8 months ago
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Loveless: A Loveless Review
[Plain Text: Loveless: A Loveless Review]
Trigger Warnings For: Discussion of sex, sex negativity, platonormativity, arophobic tropes, and anti-loveless rhetoric
Disclaimer/Disclosure: I couldnā€™t finish this book. This will factor heavily into the review, as it has to do with how some scenes, details, and the writing quality were just very hard to sit with and continue. I got about 50% through, so I didnā€™t just skim pages and get back to you on it.
You might guess I donā€™t think of this book highly if I had to put it down and stop reading. This would be correct. However, I have more in depth thoughts than that. If you like this book and donā€™t want to read negative things about it, that's fine, but I implore you to read it anyway. A lot of the problems in this book are present in a lot of creations I see and can be a valuable teaching lesson; loveless people arenā€™t out to ruin your fun because biases got questioned.
Alright. Enough disclaimers. Review under the cut.
The Bingo Card: Surprisingly, Not A Strikeout
People who have been following me for a while may remember I mentioned I went into reading this book with a bingo card in hand: Loveless and Tired Bingo, a sheet made by yours truly. I did not get Bingo with this book! I did, however, fill 17 spaces out of 25; it just didnā€™t happen to line up, not because the book passed with flying colors. Weā€™ll return to the Bingo Card at the end of this post to see what it looked like. But, letting you know, thatā€™s a rate of 68% of all squares ticked on Loveless and Tired Bingo. Not looking so hot.Ā 
Letā€™s start with the meat of the post so nobody has to read it all if they just wanted my representation opinions. Other things like writing will be shuffled down for your convenience.
Edit: Past Scowl is a liar and a fraud and did not have maims glasses on, and misread the bingo card! I did get Bingo. Oops. Point still stands because the data is the same, I just gave this book a sliver more credit than it deserved for not getting one.
Platonormativity, Envy, and The Loneliness Whirlpool
If this book had a full course meal, normativity would ironically be a key ingredient in every plate on the menu. Loveless has a platonormativity problem that confronts you from page 1, more realistically before that; the blurb!
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[Text ID: From the marvelous author of Heartstopper comes an exceptional YA novel about discovering that it's okay if you don't have sexual or romantic feelings for anyone... since there are plenty of other ways to find love and connection. /End ID]
I promise not all my complaints will be raving about one sentence, but this kinda encapsulates the entirety of my problem with Loveless: Georgia Warr is not supported in her own novel. Loveless is a deeply insecure book that many can relate to, but, reallyā€¦ does it alleviate that insecurity, or just cover it up? Thereā€™s an unspoken ā€œbutā€ to every part of Lovelessā€™ philosophy about aspec people [especially aroaces], where they must have platonic love to make them whole, to ā€œfixā€ and ā€œredeemā€ their lacking attractions. This has always bothered me, and itā€™s not an uncommon opinion in the community, unfortunately.
Aroaces arenā€™t allowed to simply ā€œbeā€ ā€“ they must be more. They must be so platonically invested you forget theyā€™re aroace, because they have all this other type of love to give the world. Itā€™s reflective of a view on a community sourced from hurt and exclusion, of someone trying to rebuild their worth on a new forefront. It doesnā€™t make it less of what it is, though: itā€™s a ā€œyes theyā€™re valid, butā€ statement that serves as the backbone for far too many aspec-focused media.Ā 
Georgia is a deeply unsure character, and thereā€™s nothing wrong with her being this way; sheā€™s a fictional character made to represent a journey of acceptance, not a real person with the ability to inflict harm on other real people. She does reflect the authorā€™s biases in many ways and many points on the same token, though, acting as a mouthpiece. This often comes in Georgiaā€™s insistence her friendships are simply stronger than other relationship types, as well as her reflexive tendencies to judge the friendless.
One of my many, many hurdles in this book had to do with Rooney [someone save her and half the cast from this novel, please], when the group realizes sheā€™s only a socialite, not really a long-term relationship holder, and the entire room devolves into silent judgment. Georgia does not defend her newfound friend, simply noting she thought differently of her. What about Rooney not having many friends changes her outgoing personality? It doesnā€™t. Itā€™s simply the fact that Rooney being friendless makes her weird, as with many things Rooney is unfairly demonized for in this novel.
The emphasis on friends doesnā€™t end here, and persists through the entire novel, practically. It is the main focus, when it isnā€™t talking about Georgiaā€™s disinterests, and her friend circle is very important to her. All of this is fine. What isnā€™t fine is the expectation and casual enforcement of friendship being all you have, so you must seize it; this book, even though I wouldnā€™t recommend it, is often given as The Book on being aroace, but I wouldnā€™t agree [youā€™re free to tell me I canā€™t have an opinion on that if Iā€™m not aroace, but at least read on before deciding anything, alright, official hear me out warning]. One, not all aroaces are alloplatonic, and two, this:
Why Is This Book Written Like A Workplace Safety Seminar
Itā€™s a veryā€¦ cookie-cutter way to be aroace, and cookie cutter aroaces exist in real life! The rep should exist, no doubt, and shouldnā€™t be taken away from anyone. Itā€™s not my problem per se that the book is semi-stereotypical. What my problem is has to do with something I see a lot.
The book falls into many of the pitfalls of what Iā€™m dubbing ā€œthe pamphlet effectā€: when a novel, show, etc. continuously needs to halt the plot to remind the audience this character is different, and explains this to you in a way that resembles an educational pamphlet at a pride event. Georgia Warr feels like an example given to explain a concept more than a person, and I feel bad for her because of how little this book engages with her actual character when it shines through. I understand the book is primarily centered on her journey through the spectrum, but very little is given to make Georgiaā€™s experience unique outside of one scene off the top of my head. Her interests, hobbies, and unique feelings only seem to play a role when it comes time to be an author mouthpiece on slutshaming for fun and sport; only one scene, the forced kiss with Jason when rehearsing the play, really blends her life experiences with her aroace experiences.
Georgia feels designed to be an everywoman, and it was very disappointing to say the least. Very little of the book actually feels like Iā€™m with her, or learning about her unique take on being aroace as a theatre fan or young adult figuring things out; it just feels like Georgia [and the reader] are being dragged through the Cliffā€™s Notes version of what it is to discover being aroace, rather than a look at how a character like this might feel differently than others on a fuller, whole scale. Sheā€™s a hole that can fit most shapes into it, which makes her broadly relatable, but not as fun or engaging to read about if you donā€™t fit precisely in the demographic Georgia is for; even if you do, is there much to engage with beyond ā€œIā€™m like that too!ā€?Ā 
This isnā€™t just a Georgia problem, either, as many, many characters in this book are walking stereotypes or very flat. But, weā€™ll get into that later [if you want to get into it now, skip to Writing Problems, Oh My!].
The Fingering In The Room: Lovelessā€™ Weird Ideas About Sex
Alright, if youā€™re sex repulsed and braved the storm to get some insight, this next paragraph is just complete confusion about this bookā€™s sex scenes and talking about some of the details within. If you want to skip that, skip the next paragraph.
Why is everybody fingering each other? Fingering is fine and it feels good, but it is basically the only sexual act this book knows outside of making out with tongue. Someone having sex in Loveless? They better have clipped their nails because at least two are going in. It feels like a point of research that was skipped because it was unimportant, which. Pretty much, yes. But when youā€™re someone who pays very close attention to sex scenes because youā€™re of the opinion they can have artistic value, as well as conveying the authorā€™s views on sexuality, I come away with ā€œis fingering what Oseman thinks young adults do?ā€. Anyways. Something I noticed.
[Okay sex repulsed people, youā€™re good. No in depth descriptions beyond this point, just the word ā€œsexā€.]
I shouldā€™ve titled this section ā€œIn Defense of Rooney Bachā€ because oh this poor girl. Oh you are just there to be gawked at.
First off, letā€™s begin in a good place: this book always has to clarify it isnā€™t slutshaming its characters, followed by slutshaming its characters. Rooney is, for the uninitiated, very sexually active. Georgiaā€™s envy often leads to a judgemental, close minded view of Rooney that often pins her sex life as ā€œtoo muchā€ ā€“ something many sexually active women get villainized for. It strikes me immediately how Rooney is constantly picked on for her sexuality as a woman in ways no male characters who arenā€™t asexual either are treated. None of the men she flirts with or spends time with are reprimanded or ā€œheld to accountā€ by the book; Rooney alone is breaking the rules. Rooneyā€™s descriptions are often bookended with a disclaimer that she isnā€™t being called a slut, sheā€™s just like one, whichā€¦ This is slutshaming. You canā€™t just say you arenā€™t doing it to not be doing it.
Rooney is also a victim of a very arophobic trope, and one that is also misogynistic: the Broken Woman. Why is Rooney sexually active? A rough breakup that broke her heart and makes her fear intimacy on account of potentially being wrong again. Sure, sex feels good, but explicit focus is made on the fact she is only not engaging with romance because she tried and it didnā€™t work. For a few chapters, admittedly I was hoping for a book where an aroace and aroallo can get past some differences and expand each other's worldviews; what I got was Georgia thinking pretty poorly of Rooney through unaddressed envy and sex negativity, and Rooney being made to only like hookups because sheā€™s messed up. Because of course a woman could only enjoy that if she had a negative experience that forced her on the path!
Also, another scene I didnā€™t like was Georgia and Pip watching Rooney have sex while she is completely unaware of their presence? Jason leaves as soon as he notices, but the two of them watch before Pip makes a comment on how disgusting it is and Georgia agrees. Iā€™m shocked at how little this is brought up as being violating or creepy.Ā 
If it was a better book, I would have expected it to result in some kind of furthered conversation about boundaries; it could've been a place for Georgia to start establishing what she likes and dislikes, starting with Rooney preferably keeping her out of her sex life when sheā€™s able. Instead, this event gets brought up solely for jokes, and for a motivation for Pip to start hating Rooney, despite her insistence it wasn't because of the hookup and she isnā€™t slutshaming. Always a great sign when that needs to be clarified. This is a PSA for everyone: you should not need to clarify you arenā€™t trying to slutshame. If you feel the need to do so, you are probably being sex negative.Ā 
This book isnā€™t very fond of sexually active people, nor is it kind to characters that are. I can understand why being asexual and sex repulsed is representation people would want, but I also think thereā€™s many, many ways to write it without making it an exercise in shame.
Ironically Kinda Arophobic In Some Parts
This is a short section of a thing I noticed, hated, and had as a contributing factor for my ending early: this book loves aphobic tropes. Thereā€™s already the trope against aroallos of not needing romance because of being broken into only liking sex, but also the problem with Pip and Rooney.
Iā€™m a lesbian, for clarification, and Iā€™m saying from experience that I hate the archetype of the angry, jealous lesbian. Itā€™s everywhere. Itā€™s in this book. Pip, upon even the idea of being rejected, starts berating and demeaning the girl who turned her down, even if she was only turned down in her head. The book passes it off as a lighthearted, funny story that Pip got so mad at an ex-crush she was suspended for throwing an apple at their head. Why do I bring this up?
Is it not ringing any bells that this is arophobic? That a character so hostile to romantic rejection is treated as a joke? Many, many aros, and queer people in general, have experienced violence for turning down someone. Itā€™s a serious issue for aros and a real fear in rejecting someone. I found it incredibly hard to read and sit through as everybody passes off Pipā€™s tendencies to do this to the women that reject her as a silly, funny Pip moment and not a major issue for the aspec community. I donā€™t care if itā€™s enemies to lovers, because it doesnā€™t really feel good to read at all. The only tension is built off the back of something Iā€™ve experienced in real life and many others have as well.Ā 
Lovelessness: The Insecurity Unaddressed
This book, despite its title, is obviously about a loving character. Many people might not see this as a problem: first off, loveless doesnā€™t always mean the same thing, and second, many aroaces express feeling loveless when coming to terms with their identity. Hereā€™s my rebuttal.
One: Georgia fits no definitions of the label. She subscribes to none of the beliefs. She loves her friends actively and sees their relationship as more than romance or sex, as something greater to her.
Second, this is because anti-loveless rhetoric is everywhere and all over this book. Not once is it suggested Georgia could live as loveless, or truly be without love. In the end, she is surrounded by it, simply learning to accept friendship instead. The way her insecurity isnā€™t met with ā€œyouā€™re complete as you areā€, and instead with ā€œyou can still be complete if you simply fill the void with friendsā€, is anti-loveless. Nobody is allowed to be whole on their own without a subplot where their doubts are reinforced or theyā€™re explicitly made to be broken inside.
This is shockingly common, and always sad every time I see it. Many aspects fear being loveless, as if it is a curse or blight they must cleanse. This book is one example out of many, but it doesnā€™t make it less hurtful when a book that runs against everything your community stands for [self-acceptance and the optionality of love] bears your name regardless. It is a book for people who are afraid of loneliness, and it answers their insecurities with ā€œyouā€™re right. You do need other people. You just need to find a way to still find and have a life partner!ā€. This is damaging to loveless people, especially those questioning an aplatonic identity.
Again, itā€™s not unique to Loveless. But, itā€™s reflective of a broader issue of aplatonics who may be seeking community constantly being presented with ā€œyou ARE broken, but friendship can fix you!ā€, a ā€œsolutionā€ many canā€™t use, and often leads to even more self-hatred.
Thatā€™s about it from the aspec side of things. If you got this far, congrats! The rest is opinions on the writing, and the bingo card finale. You can drop off here if thatā€™s all you came for.
Writing Problems, Oh My!
This is veering into heavy personal opinion, so, I will remind you: I donā€™t usually like YA, but YA can be a very good genre! I do not think this book is a good representation of what good YA looks like.
The writing quality is one of the hardest things to get past, because of a major problem I observed: Oseman is better at comics. This isnā€™t so much a vilification as a recommendation that it wouldā€™ve been much better suited for a different type of media. This kind of ā€œmedia dysphoriaā€ is present in many of the ways the book operates: many scenes would flow perfectly well in a visual piece. Georgiaā€™s inner monologue has a tendency to jump suddenly into scenes and interrupt the action in a way that would be perfectly natural as a narration bubble put over a drawing of the scene around her. There are entire pages of justā€¦ text messages that would be much better suited to a visual medium where you could make these dialogue bits look much more interesting through different shots, or drawing what the background would look like on a screen [The Girl from the Sea does this well, for example].Ā 
Thereā€™s also the fact I cannot place in my mind if I'm too old for this novel. A lot of the jokes boil down to ā€œhah! Sex!ā€ in a way that instantly alienates me from the writing. The jokes can be pretty juvenile and repetitive, and serve to be the equivalent of a comedian saying ā€œeh? Get it? That was a joke.ā€ six times.Ā 
This isnā€™t to mention the fact many of these characters are complete cardboard. Sorry. Jason does not need to exist. When he appears in a scene, he is ignored or completely leaves it on his own. He really only serves to drive Georgiaā€™s character forward, rather than have one of his own. I found myself forgetting he was present in a scene at all until he spoke again and reminded me of his existence. The book would practically be unchanged if Georgia temporarily dated Pip and Jason was never a factor, plus or minus the Shakespeare Soc plot.Ā 
Many interesting characters suffer from severe Pamphlet Effect syndrome. Most of the girls do. In a better novel, they would be more in depth, but Loveless doesnā€™t really afford them this luxury. I need to take the girls very far away from this novel, okay. I need someone to write a version of Loveless where they have personalities. Thereā€™s crumbs there. Please, someone make a loaf of bread out of it. They deserve it.
Another thing, but minor: the breakneck pacing at some points followed by slow slogs of not a lot happening contributes to the reading issues. You may thing something would be dwelled on, just for it to go flying away into the sunset as 3 more things happen and then one problem lasts for 2 chapters. I found it very hard to catch up with Loveless, while other parts I felt like I was constantly waiting for it to catch up with me instead.
The Final Frontier: The Bingo Card Returns
And without further ado, the Loveless and Tired Bingo Card for Loveless by Alice Oseman! Completed with help from other readers braver than I.
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[Image ID: A bingo card made from a basic template. It has no title, and all the text is black on a white background. Some squares are marked with a blue X, while others are marked with a red scribble. The marked squares are: ā€œNot prioritizing friendship treated as freak behaviourā€, ā€œJab at loveless sex thrown inā€, ā€œSomething about not being like THOSE peopleā€, ā€œUniversal type of love is laid on thickā€, ā€œThe answer to all your problems is finding some palsā€, ā€œFound family endingā€, ā€œPlatonic-romantic binaryā€, ā€œLove still treated as universal [free]ā€, ā€œFriendship is more wholesome or pureā€, ā€œAmatonormativity BAD [platonormativity is my bestie]ā€, ā€œPlatonic love being more powerful or sumnā€, ā€œYou still love your friends though, right?ā€, ā€œFriendship saves the dayā€, ā€œStill thinks you need dedicated people to surviveā€, ā€œBeing alone treated as worst thing in the worldā€, and ā€œFriendships are more stable than partnerships anywaysā€. The unmarked, blank squares are: ā€œSomething about "players" and pickup artists where no commitment is villainizedā€, ā€œCharacter fears being loveless and is kinda aplphobic about itā€, ā€œAspec double standards [one is normal, one is weird]ā€, ā€œYou still love your FAMILY, right???ā€, ā€œQPRs mentioned by no nuance given to their diversityā€, ā€œFriendship forced upon a character against their willā€, ā€œComment about some people being inhuman gets brushed pastā€, and ā€œSimply prioritise your family instead!!ā€ /End ID]
Would I recommend this book? Uh. No! Well. Yes, but not as a good book for aspecs. Iā€™d recommend it solely to read it yourself and form your own opinions. But, no, I would not recommend it to any aspecs I know, especially not loveless ones, aplatonic ones, aroallos,Ā or if they're an aroace looking for support.
Ah, Loveless, how you vexx me. Never again. See you in the next, much shorter post.
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the-way-astray Ā· 4 months ago
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The Ultimate Anti-Keefe Sencen Rant (Part One: Keeper through the first half of Unlocked)
taglist: @ahoyimlosingmymind @lucyshypemaster @myfairkatiecat @lilliesandlight @noideawhattodoorsay @sacrificialloving @i-want-to-be-hit-by-a-car @loreintheaether @whatistheretofearlookatrunfrom
Disclaimers before I start:
Do not, I repeat, do not hit that read more button right now. You will regret it. I promise you, you want to open this post in a new tab before you hit that button. This post brings new meaning to the word "long". To give you some numbers, this post is about 75 pages long in Google Docs, size 12 Times New Roman font. It took me more than three hours to read through it. You shouldn't expect to read this entire thing in one sitting. Do not, under any circumstances, hit that button without opening this post in a new tab. I'm warning you.
This rant will be very biased against Keefe. I'm only listing the things I do not like about Keefe. I have not listed a single thing I enjoy about him, few that there are. So if you're going into this looking for an unbiased "pros and cons" analysis, you've come to the wrong place. This is not an analysis. This is a rant. Do not confuse the two.
I will only list things I do not like about Keefe. If you want to argue that "oh, but [other character] did that too, and you didn't mention them!!!" that's because I'm not getting into any gripes with any other characters in this particular post. I despise Forkle just as much as I despise Keefe, for instance, but this is not a Mr. Forkle rant. This is a Keefe rant. This is solely focused on the things I do not like about Keefe. I may or may not agree with you on whether that other character that supposedly did the same thing deserves to be scrutinized for it, but the point still stands that I will not be getting into any Keefe vs. [other character] debates. In my rant, I do occasionally compare Keefe to other characters, but that's just to highlight my points about Shannon's treatment of him.
I am not a Sophitz shipper. I don't ship Sophie with anyone, actually. This rant does not come from a place of "Fitz is a better love interest for Sophie because Keefe sucks so much!!!" I will just put that to bed right now.
Feel free to pick fights with me or tell me that I'm not being fair. Feel free to counter every single one of my arguments. But please don't make bad faith arguments like "Keefe was basically just waiting around for Sophie and Fitz to break up in Legacy!!!" that are just not true in the slightest. (Yes, that is in defense of Keefe, I'm just trying to show an example of a bad faith argument.) I tried my best to be fair and not extrapolate anything beyond what I genuinely think Shannon Messenger intended for the audience to understand. So if you want to make a counter-argument, I kind of expect the same.
I actually really like fanon Keefe. No problems there whatsoever. Every single gripe I have is with canon Keefe. So, obviously I will only be discussing canon Keefe moments in this rant. I won't be talking about fandom issues at all.
My problems arise with both Keefe the person (his personality) and Keefe the character (the way he's written/his character arcs/development), so obviously this will be heavily critical of Shannon Messenger's writing. Just be aware. But I don't hate Shannon. In YouTuber withcindy's words, I find her writing to be unbearable sometimes, but I hope she gets her coin. I don't want this to make anyone hate Shannon. I don't hate her, her writing choices just frustrate me sometimes and I think it's fair to criticize them. There are many things I love about Keeper, like the worldbuilding (I have an entire post in my drafts ranting about how great the world is for the themes Keeper's trying to convey). I directly "address" Shannon at several points, but that's mostly for the sake of not making this a boring slog to get through.
I don't have physical copies of Keeper, Exile, Lodestar, or Nightfall as of the making of this rant. So quotes from those don't have citations. Every other book has a page number. I probably should've cited chapter numbers instead for those four but I didn't think of that at the time. Oh, well.
This will be very negative and discourse-y. I'm not really planning on sugar-coating anything. In my opinion, it's really important to be able to criticize the things you love, and I do love Keeper. So if you want to have a purely positive, uncritical fandom experience, it's probably not a good idea to keep going. Also, if you ship Sokeefe or like Keefe, just be prepared. While I personally do not believe they/he were written well, I understand that some people do enjoy them/him. I don't want this rant to make any people that genuinely love Sokeefe or Keefe start hating them/him. If you don't like Keefe or Sokeefe, you've probably come to the right place.
This entire rant is my personal opinion. We can agree to disagree. I get that some things I say are completely subjective, such as when I talk about Keefe's humor. That doesn't mean I think that anyone who loves Keefe's sense of humor is an idiot. I do use some strong language to describe some things, but that doesn't mean I think people who have different opinions than me are stupid. We just clearly have different tastes when it comes to things like this.
New disclaimer that I need to add right before posting this: I am not that blue anon (or any anti-Sokeefe or anti-Keefe anon). I don't even know how they managed to do that on anon. I also don't think Keefe was emotionally cheating with Sophie in Legacy. That's a completely bizarre statement to make. However, I do find that some of that person's statements are valid, however weirdly and passive-aggressively they made them, but I'm going to try to address it in a more respectful manner. So hopefully, if you continue reading this and you do like Sokeefe or Keefe, you at least understand where I'm coming from.
Keeper
ā€œā€˜I mean, I canā€™t really blame herā€™ā€”he gestured to himselfā€”ā€™but still, itā€™s awkward, you know?ā€™ā€ I donā€™t tend to like characters that brag about their looks. I know itā€™s a popular male-love-interest trope, but I canā€™t stand it. It makes the author feel like theyā€™re trying way too hard to make the character ā€œā€œā€œā€œā€œā€œcoolā€ā€ā€ā€ā€ā€. Yes, I know heā€™s joking, but it quickly goes way too far later.
ā€œFrom his disheveled blond hair to the way heā€™d rolled up his sleeves and left his shirt untucked, she could tellā€”he was cool.ā€ Again, the narrative tries way too hard to get us to buy into the ā€œcool bad boyā€ thing and it just makes me cringe so hard.
ā€œHe clearly wasnā€™t going to let it go [ . . . ]ā€ Just keep in mind, Keefe just met Sophie a second ago and heā€™s already starting to push her for things she doesnā€™t want to tell. Yes, in this case, it isnā€™t particularly serious, but this definitely becomes a habit later on.
ā€œā€˜Wow, most girls would be crying about a wound like thatā€”most guys too. Even Iā€™d be playing it up for sympathy and stuff.ā€™ā€ Going to let this go because they fix Keefeā€™s sexist comments in the graphic novel, so it clearly wasnā€™t intended for him to come across that way, but Iā€™d just like to say that Iā€™m so tired of the casual sexism in YA novels as a way of making a male love interest seem ā€œcoolerā€ or ā€œsnarkierā€. It makes me cringe every time. (Keefe isnā€™t the only one thatā€™s like this either. Fitz and Dex both make similarly sexist comments as well earlier: ā€œWhat is it with girls?ā€ said by Fitz and ā€œGirlsā€ said by Dex.) It comes across as even more annoying when you consider the whole thing about how the Lost Cities are supposed to be gender-equal. Shannon. What the heck.
ā€œā€˜Makeovers?ā€™ Keefe scoffed behind them. ā€˜You girls sure know how to have fun. Maybe you can braid each otherā€™s hair and giggle about boys while youā€™re at it.ā€™ā€ Again, Iā€™m going to let this go because they fix it in the graphic novel, but oh, boy. I have no idea what Shannon was thinking when she wrote this. All the guys make sexist comments, but Keefe easily gets it the worst. It just proves my point about how Shannon jacked it all the way up to eleven in an attempt to make Keefe ā€œcoolā€ and ā€œfunnyā€.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Actually, maybe that last part is a good idea. You could get the dirt on Foster, find out which guys make her heart go pitter-patter.ā€™ā€ This is completely subjective, but I find Keefeā€™s general sense of humor to be incredibly cringy. Like, who talks like that and doesnā€™t immediately cringe at themselves??? In real life, if someone spoke like that, I can guarantee that everyone around them would laugh at them. Also, he still doesnā€™t know Sophie very well and he continues to put her on the spot.
ā€œā€˜Eh, thatā€™s what they all say. But deep down girls always have one guy they canā€™t take their eyes offā€”isnā€™t that right, Fitz?ā€™ ā€˜Why are we talking about this?ā€™ Fitz complained.ā€ Say what you will about Fitz, but I will forever be grateful to him for shutting down that nauseatingly cringy shitshow.
ā€œā€˜Aw, donā€™t go getting good at alchemy, Foster.ā€™ā€ Again, this is completely subjective, but I find the way he calls Sophie by her last name to be a cheap trick to make him seem funnier and cooler. Which, in my humble opinion, it doesnā€™t.
ā€œHe winked, reaching for her hand.ā€ Again, completely subjective, but my number one pet peeve when it comes to love interests in fiction is winking. Why is it that everytime an author wants to make a guy ā€œcoolā€, they just make him wink so much youā€™d believe he has an eye twitching disorder??? Keefe is so unoriginal as a character. I have seen this sort of male love interest a thousand times in a thousand different YA series.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Itā€™s almost too easy to annoy you, you know that?ā€™ā€ The thing about Keefe is that he doesnā€™t just joke around. He usually jokes around with the intention to annoy or embarrass someone.Ā 
ā€œ[ . . . ] forced instead to sit alone in the corner while Keefe winked at her [ . . . ]ā€ He winked at her throughout the course of an entire detention??? Wow. Thatā€™s just. Okay.
[cut because character limit]
ā€œā€˜What do we have here?ā€™ Keefe asked, snatching a red box from her thinking cap. He was definitely back to his old self without his father around. He glanced at the card and cracked up. ā€˜ā€œDear Sophie. I really enjoyed our dance, and I hope we can do it again sometime. Love, Valin.ā€ā€™ā€ Another example of Keefe making jokes that are just straight up embarrassing for someone else. Also, he just grabbed her present like that without her permission???Ā 
ā€œā€˜Iā€™m just teasingā€”sheesh.ā€™ā€ Keefe literally pulled the ā€œBut it was just a joke!ā€ excuse as justification for putting Sophie on the spot like that. Wow, such a great friend.
ā€œKeefe nudged Dexā€™s arm, then grinned at Sophie. ā€˜Interesting.ā€™ ā€˜What?ā€™ Dex asked. ā€˜Which oneā€™s your gift, Dex?ā€™ Sophie interrupted. She didnā€™t have to be a mind reader to know what Keefe was going to tease Dex about.ā€ Here we mark the start of Keefe using his empathy to learn peopleā€™s secrets without their consent. He feels not a hint of remorse for it, and instead uses it as a way to breach peopleā€™s boundaries and embarrass them. As a lot of people have already said, Keefe is the primary reason empathy should have similar restrictions on it to telepathy.Ā 
ā€œShe stared at Dex for a minute, so amazed she wanted to hug him. She knew Keefe would have a field day, though, so she fought the urge.ā€ You shouldnā€™t be scared to hug your friend in front of your other friend for fear of what the other friend will say.Ā 
ā€œHeā€™d hardly looked at her gift when he opened it, too distracted by the tunic Keefe gave him, which had I know what youā€™re thinkingā€”and you should be ashamed of yourself embroidered across the front.ā€ I will give credit where credit is due, though. This was cute as hell. But it also makes me frustrated, because it shows that Keefe can be a good friend if he tries. Itā€™s not like he straight-up doesnā€™t know how to. He just doesnā€™t. Which is arguably worse.
ā€œā€˜Yeah, busy juggling two girlfriends,ā€™ Keefe interrupted. Alvar grinned. ā€˜Three.ā€™ ā€˜Three?ā€™ Dellaā€™s voice was as horrified as her expression. ā€˜Alvar, thatā€™s awful.ā€™ ā€˜Are you kidding? Itā€™s awesome!ā€™ Keefe corrected. ā€˜Youā€™re my hero.ā€™ā€ Thatā€™s right, everyone. The sweet, thoughtful, funny, perfect Keefe dreams of being a cheater one day. What the heck, Shannon? Why would you make a guy you clearly want your audience to like and will eventually be the love interest a wannabe cheater? Itā€™s clearly because she wants to make him seem cool and funny! So hilarious. Although this is more on Alvar. I know the fandom headcanons about polyamory, but given the use of the word ā€œjugglingā€, itā€™s more likely that Alvar is a cheater. But I will also assume that this was another product of Keeperā€™s time, and will be changed in the second part of the graphic novel.
ā€œā€˜All right, enough girly drama,ā€™ Keefe said, shoving his way in. ā€˜I was part of the rescue too, remember? Iā€™m the one who knew the tree you told Fitz about was the Four Seasons Tree, so if it werenā€™t for me . . . ā€™ā€ How self-centered do you have to be to make the rescue about yourself??? Like, my guy. Have some self-awareness. Also, acting like Biana apologizing is just ā€œgirly dramaā€ instead of a very real emotional moment is so, so degrading (and misogynistic, yippee). Disgusting behavior (which I wouldnā€™t mind if he ever apologized for it and showed some development, but itā€™s Keefe, so he never does, of course).Ā 
ā€œā€˜Ella!ā€™ Sophie buried her face between the floppy ears, ignoring Keefeā€™s snickers.ā€ Imagine laughing at your supposed friend (and crush) during an emotionally and physically devastating recovery period because you found it funny that she sleeps with a stuffed animal.
Exile
ā€œā€˜Hey, a guyā€™s gotta look his best for the ladies.ā€™ Keefe patted the back of his head. ā€˜Right, Foster?ā€™ā€ Ah, Keefeā€™s trademark cringily atrocious ā€œhumorā€ starts again.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Why do you need my help? Arenā€™t you the expert?ā€™ Keefe snickered. ā€˜Ooh, good one, Foster!ā€™ā€ Another thing I donā€™t like about Keefe is that Shannon uses him as narration sometimes in order to pat her own back over making a joke. Like here, Sophie makes a comment regarding Vikaā€™s ability to train Silveny, and we, the audience are obviously supposed to be like ā€œOoh, good one, Sophie! Get her ass!ā€ But instead of just letting the audience have their natural reaction, Shannon feels the need to tell us what she thinks we need to feel. It becomes annoying because Keefe does it so much. Itā€™s like Shannon doesnā€™t trust that the audience will have the correct reaction, so she has Keefe have that reaction so the audience knows what to feel. Itā€™s basically the writing equivalent of saying ā€œGet it? Do you get the joke? The joke was that Sophie made fun of Vika. Do you get it now?ā€ This is more a Shannon thing than a Keefe thing, but Keefe gets it the worst.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Lame. I vote for The Unstoppable Team Keefe! Or Team Foster-Keefe if youā€™re one of those egomaniacs who needs your name in there. I can share some credit.ā€™ā€ Ah, here we start with Keefeā€™s list of atrocious nicknames for things. Itā€™s one of my least favorite aspects of the way Shannon writes ā€œhumorā€.
ā€œā€˜What was up with the whole Amazing Flying Foster routine?ā€™ā€ Completely subjective, but I find Keefeā€™s nicknaming tendencies really grating.
ā€œā€˜Thatā€™s another day of detention, Mr. Sencen,ā€™ Sir Rosings shouted. ā€˜And one for you, Miss Foster!ā€™ ā€˜Ooh, we can be detention buddies again!ā€™ā€ Itā€™s a little thing, but Keefe never feels regret when he gets someone else in trouble. He only lathers it up with more teasing. Iā€™d be so angry if someone got me in trouble and it wasnā€™t even my fault. Itā€™s just terrible behavior.
ā€œā€˜Iā€™m not talking about anyone. Iā€™m talking about you. And I know youā€™re up to something. I can feel it.ā€™ He grabbed her hand, sucking in a slow breath as the crease between his brows relaxed. ā€˜I can feel your hope. Itā€™s not muchā€”but itā€™s there. And there has to be a reason for it. Besidesā€”youā€™re going to need my help. Who knows the Vackers better than me?ā€™ā€ Keefe uses his empathy to force his way into Sophieā€™s fixing-Aldenā€™s-mind plan. He tries to read her emotions without her permission so that he can use it as justification to get her to let him help. Itā€™s just so icky. He then manipulates Sophie by insisting she needs his help (even though she logically doesnā€™t).Ā 
ā€œā€˜Itā€™s a date, Foster!ā€™ Keefe shouted, turning every head in the corridor and making her grit her teeth so hard her jaw hurt. ā€˜Looking forward to it.ā€™ā€ Keefe stop humiliating Sophie in front of everyone challenge.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Wowā€”you really sleep with this thing? I thought Fitz was kidding when he gave it to you when you were recovering.ā€™ Sophie snatched Ella away [ . . . ]ā€ Keefe continues to make fun of Sophie for her stuffed animal tendencies. You know, itā€™s possible to be funny and make jokes without actively tearing people down. But wait, you may say. Keefe shows some development later because he starts to sleep with his own stuffed animal! Doesnā€™t that mean he learned and grew? No, I would argue back at you. The issue is not actually that Keefe made fun of Sophieā€™s stuffed animal in particular. The issue is that most of Keefe's jokes actively revolve around making fun of someone and putting them down. And that never changes, even later in the series. This is simply one example.
[cut because character limit]
ā€œā€˜This isnā€™t nearly as exciting as I thought it would be,ā€™ Keefe complained as Sophie finished explaining her theory about removing Aldenā€™s guilt and how she was trying to track down her own journal. ā€˜When do we get to, like, fly into the line of fire or sneak away to the Forbidden Cities?ā€™ā€ Another thing I donā€™t like about Keefe: heā€™s so whiny. For no reason. Shannon loves to use his whininess to make him ā€œā€œā€œā€œā€œā€œrelatableā€ā€ā€ā€ā€ā€. And he never develops! Ever! Most of the things I list about Keefe here would be fine if Shannon acknowledged them as character flaws and let Keefe develop. But he never does.
ā€œHe reached out and brushed Gradyā€™s arm. ā€˜Whoaā€”that is some serious tension radiating off of you. Is it that bad?ā€™ā€ Again, here we see an example of Keefe breaching boundaries and using his ability to get people to tell him things they arenā€™t comfortable telling him. If Keefe was a Telepath, this would be breaking the law. In case you care.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Is that a diary?ā€™ Keefe asked as Sandor handed her the sparkly journal. He tried to snatch it, but Sophie yanked it away just in time.ā€ I- I don't even have the words to describe how atrocious this behavior is. Keefe just casually tried to invade Sophieā€™s privacy. For a joke. And imagine if she had written something embarrassing in there and heā€™d managed to grab it from her. Heā€™d never stop embarrassing her over it, never stop spilling its contents to other people casually in the name of ā€œhumorā€. And heā€™d treat it like a joke, instead of a very serious breach of personal boundaries.
ā€œā€˜Shouldā€™ve figured it would have something to do with a boy.ā€™ ā€˜I was five, Keefe.ā€™ ā€˜What, and cute boys didnā€™t exist when you were five? Well, itā€™s true you hadnā€™t met me yet, but . . . ā€™ā€ Ah, Keefeā€™s trademark cringy-ass flirtation starts. For the record, I think this might be my least favorite aspect of Keefeā€™s ā€œhumorā€. I donā€™t tend to like characters that go on about how good-looking they are. I just find it so incredibly cringy and tone-deaf. But thatā€™s just my opinion.
ā€œā€˜Now we know they still have the pages. So we just have to figure out a way to steal them back.ā€™ā€ Ah yes, Keefeā€™s straight-up stupidity, which isn't quite my least favorite quality of his, but is the most frustrating. Heā€™s really, really stupid if he thinks he can just. Track down the Black Swan and steal the pages back from the infinite amount of places they could be.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Hey, Captain Mood Swing,ā€™ Keefe said, gently grabbing her arm.ā€ Keefeā€™s cringy sense of nicknaming humor continues.Ā 
Also Keefeā€™s nickname for Silveny will never not be the most cringeworthy thing in the entire series. His nickname humor is already horrible enough, but combine it with his tendency to crack potty jokes like heā€™s six? Simply atrocious.
ā€œā€˜Itā€™s just a theory right nowā€”I need to think it through.ā€™ ā€˜You mean we,ā€ Keefe said, hooking his arm through hers. ā€œWe need to think it through. Team Foster-Keefe!ā€™ā€ Keefe stop forcing yourself into Sophieā€™s personal business challenge.
[cut because character limit]
ā€œā€˜So, let me get this straight,ā€™ Keefe said when Sophie was done explaining the new plan. ā€˜We donā€™t know where weā€™re going, or how long itā€™s going to take us to get there, and weā€™re flying to meet the Black Swanā€”who may or may not be evil murderersā€”and this whole thing could be a trap?ā€™ [ . . . ] ā€˜Awesome! ā€™Bout time this project got a bit more exciting.ā€™ā€ Keefe is so fucking tone-deaf. He learns they need to go meet the Black Swan (who at that point they thought were maybe-murderers) to heal Sophie and thatā€™s what he says? Wow. Real upstanding guy. It really just shows how he thinks this whole thing is a game, not a serious issue. (Yes, I know he later says that his jokes are a mask and that he does care and see the seriousness in an issue, however that doesnā€™t change the fact that his jokes are just straight-up insensitive to the people around him.) Also, remember what I said about Shannon using Keefe as narration? She does it like this, too, where sheā€™ll recap a lot of what she just wrote using Keefe as a mouthpiece, just to make sure the audience really gets it. Itā€™s a sign of insecure writing. But itā€™s not boring recap exposition, because a funny character says it! Right, guys?
ā€œā€˜Of course I told them. Sheeshā€”you act like Iā€™m some sort of troublemaker.ā€™ He winked.ā€ Take a shot everytime Keefe winks. You wonā€™t even make it through half the series. It highlights another issue I have with Keefe. He thinks heā€™s so cool. With the swagger and the winking and the hair and the clothes, he tries way too hard to be ā€œā€œā€œā€œā€œā€œcoolā€ā€ā€ā€ā€ā€. And for me it just makes him extra cringy. But thatā€™s completely subjective. Yes, I am aware it is a mask. It does not make it any less cringy. It just doesn't feel like something anyone would ever do in real life. I don't know how to explain that it just feels unrealistically fake. Itā€™s just so . . . try-hard-y to me.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Noā€”for the millionth time. Youā€™ll know when we are because weā€™ll stop flying.ā€™ ā€˜Okay, thatā€™s how Iā€™ll know when weā€™re there. But how are you going to know?ā€™ā€ Another example of Keefe being intentionally annoying, and another example of Keefe being so stupid you have to wonder if his abusive parents dropped him on his head as a child. Two for one!
Keefe continues to be stupid and annoying on purpose for a few more lines of dialogue during this scene, but itā€™s too much and I donā€™t want to copy it all. Iā€™ve already put a sample in the previous bullet.Ā 
Have to say, I love how annoyed Sophie is by Keefe in Exile. Everytime she is forced to involve him, she expresses visible annoyance. Wish that carried through the entire series.
ā€œBut then he leaned closerā€”close enough that she could feel his breath on her cheek as he said, ā€˜I know I crack a lot of jokes, Sophie, but . . . thatā€™s just because itā€™s easier, you know? Itā€™s how I deal. But that doesnā€™t mean I donā€™t care. I do. A lot.ā€™ā€ Ah, the famous boy-behind-the-jokes confession scene. First of all, why does he need to lean closer and get all up in Sophieā€™s personal space??? Especially since they are already really close together. That is so ugh. Secondly, just because he uses humor as a coping mechanism, doesnā€™t mean his jokes have to be rude, annoying, embarrassing, cringy, over-the-top, cracked at the wrong times, and just plain stupid. Itā€™s possible to have a sense of humor thatā€™s, get this, actually funny and cheers people up instead of tearing them down.
[cut because character limit]
ā€œā€˜You donā€™t have to be. I meant what I told Sandor. Iā€™m not going to let anything happen to you.ā€™ā€ How chivalrous. And how exactly is he going to do that? By being stupid at the kidnappers? Just the fact that Keefe thinks that he can protect Sophie shows how unprepared he is. But seriously, Keefe has only demonstrated stupidity up until this point. I still donā€™t understand how Grady thought it was a good idea to involve him. Heā€™s just as vulnerable as Sophie, so thatā€™s just a second person thatā€™ll get hurt if something goes wrong. Heā€™s not a bodyguard and he doesnā€™t have any training or special experience that would qualify him to protect Sophie. Heā€™s just some guy. I think the logic was ā€œSophieā€™ll have a second person to protect her in case of an emergencyā€, but that makes no sense, because Keefe canā€™t bring anything to the table in terms of protection for Sophie. But how else are we going to kickstart a fan-favorite ship?
ā€œHe leaned back, taking his warmth with him. But at least she felt like she could breathe again.ā€ Yep, Sophie literally felt like she couldnā€™t breathe because Keefe was all up in her personal space.
Everblaze
ā€œā€˜Want me to push you?ā€™ Keefe offered, laughing as Sophie jerked away from him ā€˜Come on, itā€™ll be funā€”for me at least.ā€™ā€ (4) I have a physical copy of Everblaze, so I can list page numbers, and boy it didnā€™t take long for Keefeā€™s jerkish tendencies to show. He literally admits to Sophie that heā€™d find it fun to watch her be uncomfortable, which not only makes him completely selfish, but also somewhat cruel.
ā€œBut he shot Sophie a look that seemed to say, You will tell me everything later [ . . . ]ā€ (63) Again, an example of Keefe insisting he should be a part of Sophieā€™s personal business. Why does he constantly want to know every single thing she knows? Itā€™s none of his business.
ā€œā€˜Dude, what is up with them not rhyming?ā€™ā€ (113) Shannon also does this thing where sheā€™ll make Keefe use the same joke over and over and over. This is only the second time Keefe has made this joke, but it happens again and again and again. And even though the first time was pretty funny, the overuse kills the joke.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Write this down, Gigantor: You may not want to meet, but we definitely do. Name a time and a place or weā€™ll pelt you with sparkly poo.ā€™ā€ (114) I really wish Shannon would stop with the potty humor. Keefe is fourteen, not six. It makes him look even more annoying and childish.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Thatā€™s why you keep me around. Well, that and my stunning good looks.ā€™ā€ (115) More of Keefeā€™s trademark cringy and tone deaf flirtation. Nobody talks like this in real life, Shannon, because they would be laughed at.
ā€œā€˜But Iā€™m coming over after school and youā€™ll tell me whatever youā€™re hiding.ā€™ā€ (121) It is so annoying how Keefe thinks heā€™s entitled to Sophieā€™s secrets. He doesnā€™t ask her. Just forces his way in, just like he forced his way into everything else. Itā€™s textbook manipulation. And she does. Not because she trusts him. But because he forces his way into everything.Ā 
ā€œā€˜You let Keefe help.ā€™ ā€˜Not by choice.ā€™ā€ (124) Sophie literally admits that she didnā€™t want Keefe to help her. But in typical Keefe fashion, he forces his way into everything, because heā€™s nosy and rude and canā€™t keep himself in line. Iā€™ve said this already and Iā€™ll probably say it again, but I wouldnā€™t mind this if Shannon treated it like a real character flaw instead of just a quirky little trait. I would be okay with it if Keefe realized what he was doing was wrong and apologized and made an effort to get better. But he never does.Ā 
ā€œā€˜This is just a normal day for you, isnā€™t it?ā€™ Keefe asked . . . ā€˜Go to school find out youā€™re covered in a dangerous substance, melt off a few layers of skin, and then hail your besty Councillor, tell him youā€™re ditching study hall to save the world, and he says ā€œCool, Iā€™ll come with you!ā€ā€™ā€ (149) Leaving aside the objectively incorrect spelling of bestie, here's another example of Shannon using Keefe to recap and narrate at the audience. Itā€™s like she doesnā€™t trust us to understand the story ourselves. You donā€™t need to pat yourself on the back by summarizing what just happened, Shannon. It doesnā€™t make it any less exposition-y if the character info-dumping stuff we already know at us is ā€œā€œā€œā€œā€œā€œfunnyā€ā€ā€ā€ā€ā€.
ā€œKeefe replaced it immediately. ā€˜I could do this all day.ā€™ [ . . . ] Then he snatched the rest of Sophieā€™s effluxers and raced away, stabbing them in random places all over the grassy field.ā€ (179) Keefe understands why guarding the school from ogres is so important, and yet he treats it like a joke. Iā€™ve seen people say that Keefe can be serious when he knows something is important, but here he is, abusing a serious security protocol for cheap laughs and frustrating Sophie. He tries his very hardest to be annoying and honestly if I were Sophie, Iā€™d just walk away and let him do his own thing. He canā€™t be serious, and heā€™s incapable of thinking about anything except playtime for more than a few seconds at a time.Ā 
[cut because character limit]
ā€œOkay, Iā€™ve changed my mind,ā€™ Keefe said . . . ā€˜Letā€™s plant this somewhere sheā€™ll trigger it.ā€™ā€ (181) Keefe gets Sophie in trouble and once again shows no remorse. I donā€™t understand why Sophie hangs around him when she doesnā€™t need him in any capacity (at this point) and all he does is annoy, embarrass, and get her in trouble. If you want to get in trouble, thatā€™s your prerogative. But dragging others unwillingly into your plan is one of the most selfish, egregious acts you can do.
ā€œā€˜Has he ever even had detention?ā€™ ā€˜Only when he listens to me. [ . . . ]ā€™ā€ (183) Yet another example of Keefe dragging someone down with him, this time being Fitz.
ā€œā€˜Clearly itā€™s not a good idea to get you angry. Uh-oh, should I be afraid?ā€™ā€ (221) Keefe continues to be annoying on purpose.
ā€œā€˜Ohā€”maybe we could be the Keefitzter!ā€™ā€ (343) When will Shannon stop torturing me with this painful nickname humor?
ā€œā€˜That doesnā€™t really have the same ring,ā€™ Keefe told her [ . . . ]ā€ (344) This is like the third time heā€™s made this joke. Repeating a joke over and over doesnā€™t make it funnier; itā€™s quite the opposite, actually.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Nah, Iā€™ll save it for my own wedding. Make my bride feel even luckier.ā€™ He winked.ā€ (396) I think the worst part is he really thinks heā€™s being smooth there. Honestly, it just comes off as needy.
ā€œā€˜ . . . keep in mind that Miss Foster is, and always will be, my first priority.ā€™ ā€˜Mine too,ā€™ Keefe said [ . . . ]ā€ (408) Another thing that strikes me as incredibly weird with Keefe is this strange obsession he has with Sophie. It becomes incredibly apparent in later books, but it definitely starts here. Sophie should really just be another random friend heā€™s made at Foxfire, but heā€™s willing to go to so much trouble for her, but why? Thereā€™s not a particular reason. Sophie didnā€™t do anything that meant he owed her and therefore had to help her and they didnā€™t have a particularly strong bond at all before he forced his way into her reverse-Aldenā€™s-guilt plan. Itā€™s understandable now that theyā€™re closer friends, but the fact that he was just ready to fly across the ocean for a somewhat random girl is just. Very strange. Keefe is a massive case of obsessed-with-the-love-interest syndrome that plagues YA novels everywhere you go. And he doesnā€™t even have a particularly good reason.
ā€œā€˜Cute and smart. No wonder Dex gave you a ring.ā€™ā€ (410) Keefe continues to make unfunny jokes that embarrass Sophie for his own amusement.Ā 
ā€œPlotting and scheming really were Keefeā€™s forte.ā€ (431) Weā€™ve been told this, but itā€™s simply not true. Keefe hasnā€™t come up with a single good plan up until this point, so I donā€™t know what Sophieā€™s talking about. Telling isnā€™t showing, Shannon. Show us a single good plan that Keefe has come up with. You canā€™t just tell us that and expect us to believe it because ā€œOh, itā€™s Keefe!!!ā€
ā€œā€˜Admit it, Fosterā€”youā€™ve been checking out the Keefster. And maybe even . . . the keester.ā€™ [ . . . ] ā€˜[ . . . ] Unless youā€™d rather I go first so you can admire the view.ā€™ā€ (440) I think this might be Keefeā€™s cringiest joke yet. Itā€™s a perfect combination of Keefe humor: annoying, embarrassing, tone-deaf, a dash of potty humor, all topped off with a finale of horrific flirtation.Ā 
Neverseen
ā€œā€˜I totally couldā€™ve pulled that off. But then again, Iā€™m Batman, soā€™ā€”he draped an arm over Sophieā€™s shouldersā€”ā€˜I could be your hero any day.ā€™ā€ (9) Keefe's horrible flirting is back. And he very obviously sees himself as Sophieā€™s ā€œheroā€, ready to save the day for her, as if sheā€™s completely helpless. (I know it seems like this is just a joke at the moment, but there are several moments later on down the line that prove this point. I just wanted to put this quote here so I donā€™t miss it later.) Thatā€™s another thing I hate about Keefe. Heā€™s always sacrificing a good plan for his own, because he thinks heā€™s smarter than everyone else and wants to be the hero. (Again, there are several moments later that showcase this, weā€™ll get there.)
ā€œKeefe grabbed Fitzā€™s wrist and pressed his fingers against the exposed skin. ā€˜Hate to break it to you, but I can tell youā€™re hiding something.ā€™ā€ (26) Another example of Keefe breaching personal boundaries and using his empathy to extort secrets out of people to get him to tell things they wouldnā€™t ordinarily tell him. This happens a lot starting in this book, and yes, I am going to point them all out. By the way, what Fitz was hiding was not at all important to their mission. Itā€™s a secret of Sophieā€™s that Fitz accidentally saw and was forced to tell because of Keefe. And Keefe tries to make fun of Sophie for it, but is cut off.
ā€œā€˜[ . . . ] and tell the Black Swan to knock it off with the lame, non-rhyming riddles.ā€™ā€ (27) Shannon, repeating a joke for the umpteenth time isnā€™t going to make it funnier. And Keefe gets this the worst.
ā€œā€˜You know heā€™s going to keep pushing until he gets what he wants, right?ā€™ā€ (31) That quote is said about Keefe, for context. And yes, I do know that. Itā€™s one of Keefeā€™s most annoying qualities. But what I want to focus on is the fact that Shannon herself acknowledges that. Itā€™s not like she isnā€™t aware. She just doesnā€™t want to give Keefe any development, instead treating it like a quirky little habit.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Uh, you guys are totally ignoring the much more important question,ā€™ Keefe interrupted [ . . . ] ā€˜Am I the only one whoā€™s noticed that dude is naked?ā€™ā€ (38) Keefe doesnā€™t know how to be serious, even when the time calls for it. They were in the middle of a discussion about how the Neverseen couldā€™ve set a fire in the Forbidden Cities, and Keefe just jumps in and completely derails the conversation for a joke. Keefe. Learn the time and the place for this sort of behavior. No, indeed, Keefe cannot be serious, even when the time calls for it.
ā€œā€˜Theyā€™ll have to keep their faces very close together,ā€™ Mr. Forkle noted. ā€˜Foster and I volunteer!ā€™ Keefe shouted.ā€ (59) Volunteering someone for a very uncomfortable experience without their permission, ah yes, my favorite. And yes, Dex does it too, and so do Fitz and Mr. Forkle. Iā€™m not exempting any of them from the blame. Iā€™m just saying that this was something Keefe unironically said (and he said it first, too).
ā€œHe leaped from his pleisosaur to hers and prodded Sophieā€™s eckodon to swim away from the rest of the group.ā€ (63) Shannon forgot to add ā€œwithout Sophieā€™s permission and without giving any thought to breached personal boundariesā€ to the end of that sentence. Seriously, he just leaped onto Sophieā€™s eckodon with no sign she wanted him to, just because . . . he wanted to? Sophieā€™s wishes? Never heard of them.
ā€œā€˜Relax,ā€™ he said, tightening his grip on Sophieā€™s waist. ā€˜I wonā€™t let you fall.ā€™ā€ (63) I hate when Keefe does things that Sophie doesnā€™t need ā€œfor Sophieā€. Itā€™s his worst quality, by a long shot. He projects what he thinks Sophie wants and then tries to fulfill his projection. Sophie wasnā€™t even scared she was going to fall. And he randomly starts putting his hands all over her. But I guess when youā€™re a love interest, that can be seen as ā€œā€œā€œā€œā€œā€œromanticā€ā€ā€ā€ā€ā€. Keefe stop treating Sophie like a helpless object that he needs to save challenge.
[cut because character limit]
ā€œā€˜I will never let my mom hurt you again.ā€™ā€ (63) Itā€™s hilarious that he thinks he can control that. Just adds to his mind-numbing stupidity. Thereā€™s naivete, then thereā€™s Keefe. Also, this entire scene is the first in a series of scenes that I like to call ā€œforced consolationā€, where either Keefe or Sophie will try to reassure the other of some fear they donā€™t have or are just not in control of. Shannon loves to lather these scenes up with ā€œI promise I wonā€™t hate youā€s and ā€œI will do everything I can to protect youā€s and all sorts of other things that feel either forced or over-the-top. And at the end of the scene, you feel nothingā€™s changed or developed. Itā€™s just Sophie and Keefe repeating things at each other and at the end you just feel like it was handled with too heavy a hand and you didnā€™t really get anywhere. In other words, itā€™s one of Shannonā€™s favorite forms of filler.
ā€œā€˜Thanks,ā€™ he whispered back, so close she could feel his breath on her cheek.ā€ (65) He managed to be even creepier! Wow! This feels incredibly forced, too. I think Shannon assumes she can make any scene ā€œromanticā€ if she makes Keefe lean too close to Sophie and then makes a mention of Sophie's heartbeat.
ā€œā€˜We know some of the Neverseen are hiding in Ravagog. Give me a green crystal and Iā€™ll hunt them down.ā€™ā€ (90) Moments that make me want to shove Keefe into a brick wall. Is he stupid??? Like, genuinely. He is so dumb. I cannot stand stupid characters. Maybe thatā€™s me, but oh my gosh. This. This is just. I donā€™t even have the words to describe how stupid Keefe is. And the worst part is Keefe clearly thinks this is a smart plan. Like, wow. Heā€™s so arrogant he genuinely thinks heā€™s the savior they all need. Not a stupid, reckless boy with no experience or training whoā€™s going to get himself killed. Keefe. What are you on.
ā€œā€˜Why is everyone assuming Iā€™m going to get caught?ā€™ Keefe asked. ā€˜You guys are clearly forgetting how awesome I am!ā€™ā€ (91) Because you will. Hundred percent guarantee. He knows nothing about ogres and their technology, nothing about sneaking into places with a large amount of security, he probably doesnā€™t even know what a Markchain is and why heā€™ll be found out because of not having it. The English language doesnā€™t have the words necessary to describe how dumb Keefe is. And he doesnā€™t even realize it. Heā€™s just so convinced heā€™s better than anyone else and that other people havenā€™t created anything strong enough to hold the all-knowing Keefe Sencen. But stupid characters that genuinely think theyā€™re amazing is a personal pet peeve of mine.Ā 
ā€œFitz said something else too, but it was drowned out by the plethora of gagging sounds coming from Dex and Keefe.ā€ (96) I donā€™t like Dex either, but thatā€™s not what this is about, so weā€™re gonna leave that alone for now. Anyway, Keefe and Dex are both incredibly immature, acting like six-year-olds as opposed to thirteen and fourteen. And itā€™s rude. Itā€™s not a good quality. They clearly do it on purpose to be annoying, so. Tearing down people because you canā€™t keep your nose out of their business is just not good behavior. Again, Iā€™d be fine if Keefe showed some development. But as far as I know, he never apologizes for his rude behavior at all. (I believe Dex does, though, so Shannon clearly knows this is a possibility.)
ā€œā€˜In fact, after I swear fealty I should have you all call me Emo.ā€™ā€ (110) I donā€™t think you know what emo means, Keefe. Also, in my humble opinion, it makes no sense that elves have a concept of being emo. My guess is this is Shannonā€™s attempt to make Keefe seem more like Tam. But more on that later.
ā€œā€˜Youā€™ll be Sophitz! Or Fitzphie!ā€™ā€ (110) I hate it when authors put ship names in their stories. Itā€™s so cringy and almost feels like the author is trying to pat themselves on the back for acknowledging a certain ship in the series. And of course, itā€™s an undeniable aspect of Keefeā€™s ā€œhumorā€. I canā€™t just not address it.Ā 
ā€œā€˜We can be Keefex!ā€™ā€ (111) Another instance of putting ship names into the series, although I doubt Shannon meant it that way.
[cut because character limit]
ā€œā€˜Yeah, Fitz can pull off anything.ā€™ Sophie blushed as she considered the implication of her words. Keefe groaned. ā€˜I knew we shouldā€™ve gone with the balding elixir. Next time!ā€™ā€ (123) To be fair, the argument Iā€™m about to make is very thin, and I acknowledge that, so feel free to disregard it. But notice how Keefe immediately suggests a balding elixir right after Sophie complimented Fitzā€™s looks. Itā€™s almost like heā€™s jealous of Fitz, which is not a bad thing, necessarily. Jealousy is a very natural thing to feel. But so many people try to make arguments that Fitz was cruel and jealous toward Keefe later on down the line, so I thought Iā€™d point out an example where (in my opinion) Keefe is being jealous.
ā€œā€˜And donā€™t think I was going to allow a Sophex meeting to happen.ā€™ā€ (135) More cringy ship name ā€œhumorā€.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Anyone else getting tired of the Black Swan bossing us around?ā€™ā€ (142) God, Keefeā€™s whininess is so annoying in this book. Yes, the Black Swan are being annoying. But he shouldā€™ve dropped it after the first few times that he complained. Complaining isnā€™t going to fix anything and only makes him look annoying.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Is it okay if I enter your mind?ā€™ Fitz asked. ā€˜Dude, do you realize how creepy that sounds?ā€™ Keefe interrupted. ā€˜Itā€™s less creepy than reading her feelings all the time without telling her,ā€™ Fitz argued. ā€˜Hey, itā€™s not like I try to do that! Youā€™re just mad that Foster canā€™t hide things from me.ā€™ā€ (144) Keefe gets bored, so he interrupts Sophie and Fitzā€™s cognate training for no reason. You know, because heā€™s incapable of keeping his nose out of othersā€™ business for two seconds. And not only that, he has the audacity to say he doesnā€™t try to read Sophieā€™s emotions. Sure, heā€™s not doing it all the time, every time, but he does it when he feels sheā€™s hiding something. Iā€™ve already pointed out several instances of this, and there are many more to come. Instead of letting her keep her secrets and tell him on her own time, you know, out of trust, he uses his empathy to force it out of her, or pressure her to talk when sheā€™s not ready (which by the way, is a textbook sign of a toxic relationship). He does this to people besides Sophie, as well. So yes, it is creepy. Way more creepy and toxic than asking someone for permission, by the way. So not only is Keefe straight-up lying about not trying to read Sophieā€™s emotions, heā€™s defending it. And the last part where he says that Fitz is jealous because Sophie can hide things from him. Heā€™s missing the point entirely. When someone tells you something willingly, without being extorted or pressured, they trust you. When you have to force them and guilt them into telling you, they donā€™t trust you. So Fitz has no real reason to be jealous here. Keefeā€™s just being an asshole.
ā€œā€˜You make her super nervous,ā€™ Keefe answered for her. Sophie wished the Black Swan had given her laser eyes so she could skewer Keefe with her death glare.ā€ (144) Keefe not only reads Sophieā€™s emotions without her permission, he also breaches several boundaries by announcing them to the entire room before sheā€™s ready or when she doesn't want to. Why? Because heā€™s selfish and wants to cause a scene. Why? Because heā€™s bored. I wish I were kidding. That is seriously the reason. He got bored. He doesnā€™t care about Sophieā€™s feelings, or else he would respect them.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Promise me you wonā€™t hate me,ā€™ he whispered.ā€ (175) We go into another one of Shannonā€™s famous forced consolation scenes. It makes no sense that Keefe would worry about Sophie hating him. He hasnā€™t done a single thing to make her hate him. Shannon just realized that she needs something for Sophie to comfort Keefe over, so she pulled something out of her ass. And it makes no sense.Ā 
It makes so little sense that Sophie tried so hard with Keefe, but didnā€™t do the same with Fitz and Biana in Exile. This forced consolation scene goes on, ending in a ā€œwindow slumber partyā€. Another thing I donā€™t like about Keefe is that itā€™s very obvious that Shannon favors him. Itā€™s very unsubtle.
[cut because character limit]
ā€œKeefe ruined the moment by grumbling. ā€˜But you didnā€™t learn anything! You had the Neverseen right in front of youā€”you talked to him!ā€™ā€ (197) Thatā€™s right, everyone. The sweet, selfless Keefe blamed Sophie for failing to learn anything! Which, by the way, he never apologizes for and never shows remorse for.
ā€œSophie heard him mumble under his breath, ā€˜He was right in front of them.ā€™ā€ (198) Keefe continues to blame Sophie for not figuring anything out, as if he couldā€™ve done any better.
ā€œā€˜My mom was probably part of everything that went down with Jolie.ā€™ā€ (221) No??? No! Jolie died over sixteen years ago. Keefe says this in response to the knowledge that his mom joined the Neverseen shortly after becoming pregnant with him. Keefe is only fourteen, meaning Lady Gisela was not part of what went down with Jolie. This is probably just Shannon forgetting her timeline again, but oh, boy, does it make Keefe look stupid.Ā 
ā€œā€˜When you or Fitz start dating, there will be crying in the Foxfire halls.ā€™ā€ (236) Another example of Shannon trying way too hard to make him seem ā€œpopularā€ and ā€œcoolā€. It appears she hasnā€™t set foot in a school, because thatā€™s not how it actually works.
ā€œā€˜Everyone loves the bad boys.ā€™ā€ (236) Did. Did Shannon unironically write that??? Iā€™m laughing. Oh my gosh. The sheer tone-deafness and cringe, I canā€™t.
ā€œā€˜And Fitz isnā€™t perfect, by the way.ā€™ ā€˜Heā€™s close enough.ā€™ā€ (238) No??? Nobody is. And hereā€™s a fine example of another forced consolation scene. Keefe lathers it up with the self-pity and feeling sorry for himself, and later on down the road, Shannon realizes that and her solution to that particular problem is hilariously atrocious. Iā€™m writing this quote in blue so that itā€™s easy to come back to later, because Iā€™m going to talk about it once we get there. But for now: Keefeā€™s personal pity party is clearly only there to make the audience pity him. All heā€™s doing right now is acting weirdly whiny and jealous of Fitz for . . . being ā€œperfectā€? Which again, jealousy is natural. But Keefe has never in his life tried to achieve perfection, and has in fact always tried to do the exact opposite, so why would he be jealous of Fitz for being perfect all of a sudden? Itā€™s completely out of character for him. Shannon. You canā€™t just make Keefe jealous of Fitz for the sake of being jealous of Fitz because you want a forced consolation scene. It has to make sense. Keefe would never be jealous of Fitz for this particular reason. Keefe doesnā€™t try to be perfect at all. Why would he care that Fitz is ā€œperfectā€?
ā€œā€˜I hate watching it,ā€™ he whispered. ā€˜Them and Della. Itā€™s all so happy and easy.ā€™ā€ (238) Wanted to include this because this is a good example of how jealousy actually works. Keefe has never had a loving family. So naturally, seeing a loving family would make him jealous. So, again, I will give credit where credit is due: this makes sense for him.Ā 
ā€œā€˜And youā€™re also there when your friends need you.ā€™ā€ (238) That is a laughably twisted version of the events of the previous couple of books. Keefe is not ā€œthere when his friends need himā€, rather he forces his ways into their plans by either pressuring them or using his empathy very dubiously. The way Shannon has tried to twist Keefe into this pitiable, pathetic boy is just. Not working, when you consider what heā€™s been doing for the past few books. Just straight shot after straight shot of him annoying and embarrassing the crap out of Sophie and extorting things she very clearly doesnā€™t want to tell him out of her.
ā€œā€˜[ . . . ] you promised you wouldnā€™t hate me.ā€™ā€ (239) Obligatory ā€œdonā€™t hate meā€ plea from this particular forced consolation scene.Ā 
[cut because character limit]
ā€œHis aim with the throwing stars was flawless [ . . . ]ā€ (343) How??? He hasnā€™t had any proper training??? And this goes for the climax of Exile, too, by the way. Shannon once again wants Keefe to be flawless at everything and save Sophie, but she fails to make any of it make sense, because Keefe never trains with throwing stars. This is a textbook sign of a character the author wants to make look ā€œcoolā€ without making it make any sense whatsoever. Why is he good at using throwing stars? Not because he trained! Probably because Shannon just wanted to make him look cool and badass.Ā 
ā€œā€˜You know what I think when I see things like that?ā€™ ā€˜I never shouldā€™ve agreed to help such a loserā€”even if he has awesome hair?ā€™ā€ (345) Hereā€™s another forced consolation scene. Why would Keefe think Sophie thought that, when literally a few seconds ago she confirmed she didnā€™t? Iā€™m not kidding, Sophie literally says ā€œā€˜You shouldnā€™t have to carry all that aloneā€™ā€ (345) just a couple of lines right before this line. She clearly doesnā€™t think Keefe is a loser, but heā€™s so wrapped up in his self-pity, heā€™s not listening to her. Shannonā€™s trying to milk the shit out of this, so she repeats the same thing over and over and over to instill pity for Keefe. And again, she lathers it up and uses too heavy a hand, so it just feels like weā€™re suffocating in Sophieā€™s pity for Keefe, not to mention Keefeā€™s pity for himself.Ā 
ā€œā€˜I have a major dark side, Sophie.ā€™ā€ (347) Shannon tried to make this all serious and dark, but it just made me laugh. Like, no. He doesnā€™t. He doesnā€™t have a dark side whatsoever. Heā€™s stupid, sure, but heā€™s really soft, too. The fact that Shannon is trying to get us to believe that and trying to put us on edge is laughable.Ā 
ā€œ[ . . . ] ā€˜and itā€™s a lot creepier when itā€™s Sophorkle.ā€™ā€ (369) Did. Did Shannon actually write that???? And the editor saw nothing wrong with that??? Oh, boy . . . I donā€™t even think I have to explain this one. And yes, this is in the name of Keefe cringy-ass ā€œhumorā€.
ā€œā€˜If youā€™re saying we should sneak into ogreville instead of sitting here watching Dex poke a gadget with sticks, Iā€™m in,ā€™ Keefe said [ . . . ] Keefe tried to drag her toward the door.ā€ (405) Why did Shannon make that so literal? She literally made Keefe just be like Weā€™re going to Ravagog right this minute, and then had him drag Sophie to the door. Like, wow. The literalness of the action is just so cartoonish and comical. Like Iā€™m watching an animated cartoon for seven year olds. I donā€™t know how else to describe this.
ā€œā€˜I say we storm Ravagog,ā€™ Keefe said. ā€˜Whoā€™s in?ā€™ā€ (457) Keefe continues to push for a plan that has no merits whatsoever and will just put people in danger. You know, because he couldnā€™t use his brain if his life depended on it. Also the way he says it implies he sees it as this fun joke-like thing, not something that needs serious thought put into it.
ā€œā€˜And I thought secret Telepath conversations were the worst. Just so weā€™re clear,ā€™ he told Tam. ā€˜Iā€™m the president of the Foster fan club. And weā€™re closed to new members.ā€™ā€ (474) Keefe acts jealous of Tam for . . . talking to Sophie. What a great guy. What a non-possessive, non-controlling, completely justified thing to do. He acts like Sophie just talking to a guy is a threat to him. And letā€™s be honest, he says that the Foster Fan Club is ā€œclosed to new membersā€ because heā€™s worried about whether Tam could like Sophie, or vice versa. And the fact that his idea is to try to stop Tam and Sophie from talking to each other is easily the ickiest thing he has done. Like, please go bang your head several times into a wall, Keefe. Hard.
[cut because character limit]
ā€œā€˜Someone needs to tell Shade Boy the role of Troublemaker with Daddy Issues is already filled.ā€™ā€ (478) I- I donā€™t even have the words to describe how uncaring this is. Keefe literally sees a struggling teen and his first thought is ā€œMy ā€˜positionā€™ is in dangerā€. How selfish is that? Tam (and Linh) have struggled way more than Keefe can even comprehend and yet all he can think about is this stupid jealousy he has for Tam. Also, the fact that he literally thinks in stereotypes and archetypes is laughably bad writing on Shannonā€™s part. Dumbing people down to categories to check off is atrociously terrible writing, and this is another symptom of Shannon using Keefe as a narrator to tell the audience things she doesnā€™t trust us to pick up on ourselves. She doesnā€™t trust us to know that Keefe is a troublemaker with daddy issues, so she has to tell us. Just like she doesnā€™t trust us to realize the same about Tam, so she has to tell us.Ā 
ā€œHeā€™d turned into the boy in the boobrie dudeā€™s tent againā€”scared and angry and lost.ā€ (479) That doesnā€™t justify his callousness and horrible behavior towards Tam. Just because you can see why someone is doing something, doesnā€™t automatically absolve them of blame. Someone shouldā€™ve kept Keefe in line by explaining how tone deaf that comment was. But of course, since itā€™s Keefe, his actions will always be justified by the narrative instead of corrected.
ā€œKeefe laughed. ā€˜Annnnnnnnd, the Foster panicking begins.ā€™ ā€˜Iā€™m not panicking,ā€™ Sophie told him [ . . . ] She ignored Keefeā€™s laughter as she gave Fitz permission to enter her mind.ā€ (496) First of all, counting and typing out all those Ns was a nightmare. Second of all, I think the reason Keefeā€™s intrusive behavior is accepted is because itā€™s just so normal. Itā€™s just something you expect to happen with him because itā€™s Keefe, and treated like a joke. But it shouldnā€™t happen. Just because Keefe can feel Sophieā€™s emotions, doesnā€™t mean he has to tell them to people sheā€™s clearly uncomfortable telling them to. And third of all, he laughs. He laughs because sheā€™s panicking. What an upstanding guy.
ā€œā€˜Whoa, now everythingā€™s red and ripply,ā€™ Fitz said. ā€˜Is that because sheā€™s angry?ā€™ā€ (497) Keefe literally annoyed Sophie for his own amusement and fun. You know, as good friends do.
ā€œā€˜Just tell them to stare into each otherā€™s eyes and theyā€™ll be good.ā€™ ā€˜None of that, Mr. Sencen.ā€™ā€ (497) I will give credit where credit is due, Shannon did finally hold Keefe to a modicum of accountability. But this is the one time in all his atrocious behavior that heā€™s been held accountable, and even then, he never says sorry.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Why didnā€™t you tell me about this?ā€™ Fitz whispered to her. ā€˜Dude, you donā€™t get to ask that,ā€™ Keefe told him.ā€ (505) Fitz can ask whatever the hell he wants. Especially concerning a group that they are all fighting. Telling someone they donā€™t get to ask why something was hidden from them is so completely out of line. And guess who calls Keefe out on this? Nobody.
ā€œā€˜Because I seem to remember you having a bummer few weeks and then everything went back to perfect Vacker-land. So whereā€™s my perfect fix?ā€™ā€ (505) Keefe disregards other peopleā€™s feelings and problems if he sees them as not as bad as his own. Now, you might be thinking, didnā€™t Fitz lash out at Sophie during Exile? Why isnā€™t that bad? Well, thatā€™s not as bad because Fitz realizes what he did was wrong, apologizes for what he did and tries his hardest to improve and develop. Youā€™ll notice we donā€™t get a similar heartfelt apology from Keefe for this incredibly hurtful and invalidating statement, or anything else he does or says throughout this book.
[cut because character limit]
ā€œShe knew Keefe didnā€™t want to talk to her, but when she saw his lights on she couldnā€™t walk away.ā€ (507) Another piece of evidence suggesting that Sophie paid way more attention to Keefe and spent way more time making sure he knew she was there for him than she did with Fitz and Biana in a similar situation. Here Keefe is mad at her, not wanting to see her, and she still tries too hard to make him see reason, which is not something she does with anyone else. And that is another thing I hate about Keefe: Shannon shows clear favoritism toward him. He gets let off the hook for things other people donā€™t. He gets Sophie trying and trying and trying to make him see reason when heā€™s mad. And later, he gets a plotline all to himself, and takes up so much page time, it squeezes the other characters out. You can already see it in this book.Ā 
ā€œ[ . . . ] she couldā€™ve sworn he muttered something about Sophitz.ā€ (510) Keefe is a horrific friend. He tears Sophie and Fitzā€™s cognate relationship (and friendship) down every chance he gets, and nobody calls him out on his incredibly possessive behavior.
ā€œā€˜How are you going to get inside the city? And if you do get inā€”what then? You donā€™t even know where youā€™re going.ā€™ ā€˜Iā€™ll figure it out.ā€™ā€ (560) Keefe is so unbelievably stupid. The justification Shannon gave was that the guilt is making him reckless, but recklessness doesnā€™t equal stupidity. And when Sophie asks him perfectly valid questions, he says ā€œIā€™ll figure it outā€, meaning he put not a single thought into this. Heā€™s really so arrogant that he thinks he can just walk into Ravagog with no plan and steal the cure. God, heā€™s so stupid, they should just leave him out of their plans for everyoneā€™s safety. Stupid characters are a particular pet peeve of mine, so if I seem angrier than I should be, thatā€™s why.
ā€œā€˜Fine. Iā€™ll wait until tomorrow night,ā€™ he said. ā€˜Then Iā€™m leaving.ā€™ā€ (561) Sophie didnā€™t even manage to completely dissuade him, she just stalled him. That proves that Sophie canā€™t save him from himself. Nobody can. And later, Keefe puts so much more than himself at risk. He has Sophie constantly worrying about him, so his actions affect her, too. Thatā€™s selfish behavior. And how much does he grow from it? Iā€™m sure you can guess.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Yeah, this is why I should go by myself,ā€™ Keefe said. The suggestion was met with a resounding ā€˜No!ā€™ But Sophie knew Keefe wasnā€™t going to listen. If she didnā€™t figure something out, he would go alone.ā€ (564) They just talked through all the challenges of their plan, none of which Keefe has a solution to, yet heā€™s still arrogant enough to believe that he can do it all himself. Stupid characters that think theyā€™re great are the worst kind of character to me. The fact that Keefe genuinely thinks he can sneak past ogres and find the cure is mind boggling. He thinks heā€™s so great that he wonā€™t get caught, but we know he wouldā€™ve. Someone is going to pop out of the ground and say ā€œWell, heā€™s only fourteen!!!ā€ Yeah, heā€™s fourteen, but this is straight stupidity, not youthful naivete. And the fact that Sophie specifically thinks to herself that heā€™ll go if they donā€™t figure something out just proves how selfish he is. Nobody wants him to go alone. Heā€™s not achieving anything for anyone, and his actions do more harm than good. So, no, his actions are not selfless. More so the opposite than anything. Heā€™s doing something that nobody wants and nobody needs. Except himself, of course.Ā 
[cut because character limit]
ā€œā€˜Oh good, Bangs Boy decided to join us,ā€™ Keefe grumbled [ . . . ]ā€ (570) Instead of being grateful for extra help that could get them out alive, Keefe continues to take shots at Tam for no reason. No reason other than heā€™s strangely possessive of Sophie, of course. Also, can I just say that Shannon wrote this rivalry so poorly? Itā€™s not even a rivalry. Itā€™s completely one-sided. And in later books, Shannon tries so hard to convince us that Keefe and Tam donā€™t like each other and itā€™s this whole thing and itā€™s all drama and this and that and the other. But she puts so little effort into describing why they donā€™t like each other that it falls so flat. Tam doesnā€™t even dislike Keefe. My guess is that he just (rightfully) sees Keefe as a nuisance. So really, itā€™s just Keefe that has this pathetic hatred for Tam, while Tam barely even acknowledges Keefe. As he should. But thatā€™s just a guess. To know for sure, Shannon would actually have to focus on characters that arenā€™t Sophie and Keefe, so.Ā 
ā€œā€˜How do we know his little Shade tricks are even going to work?ā€™ā€ (572) Valid point, but Keefe is so unnecessarily mean and rude with that comment.
ā€œKeefe snorted. ā€˜How does it feel to be rejected by dust?ā€™ ā€˜Pretty good, actually,ā€™ Tam snapped back, ā€˜since it means I can survive this mission.ā€™ā€ (573) Yeah, get his ass. About time someone called Keefeā€™s constant whining out. Keefe continues to haggle on Tamā€™s power, which will no doubt save his life several times, for no other reason than his pathetic hatred for Tam.Ā 
ā€œā€˜I could be back with the cure while the rest of you guys are still sleeping.ā€™ā€ (575) Words cannot describe how much I want Keefe to try to do just that, so the ogres can lock him in a cell and we never have to see him or his stupidity or arrogance again.
ā€œDude, you did not just insult the Hair.ā€™ā€ (581) Have some more cringy Keefe humor.
ā€œSophie couldnā€™t fight back her sob as Keefe handed Alvar the cache.ā€ (661) Weā€™ve at last arrived at the famous betrayal scene. And this is Keefeā€™s most selfish, asshole-ish action yet. First of all, itā€™s not him who was entrusted with the safety of the cache. It was Sophie. Which means that by handing over the cache, he puts her in massive potential danger with the Council, not himself. But thatā€™s typical Keefe behavior. Thinking about how your actions will affect the people around you? Never heard of her. If the Council entrusted the cache to him, then it would be somewhat less selfish, because heā€™s the one that would then be in trouble with the Council. So he puts Sophie in danger and tosses the worldā€™s most important secrets to a terrorist group without a thought in the direction of how heā€™s going to get it back. And for what? For the miniscule chance that the Neverseen would trust him and he could learn something important enough to finish this? Thatā€™s the thing with Keefe. Heā€™s stupid, but he doesnā€™t think he is. He takes huge risks where the reward canā€™t in any scenario measure up to the price. It was a stupid risk. Not in any capacity could anything he learned ever measure up. But of course, Keefe thinks itā€™s brilliant. Because, you know. Heā€™s stupid. Tell me why anyone trusts this guy again? Oh, and in case you think that Keefe learns or grows from this mistake, just you wait.
ā€œā€˜I have to do this,ā€™ he said. ā€˜Please donā€™t hate me.ā€™ā€ (663) Keefe has no right to ask this of Sophie in this scenario. Heā€™s chosen his path, and that was his choice. He will and should suffer the consequences of that choice. Including all the people who now see him as a traitor. But of course, since this is Keefe, he doesnā€™t suffer a single consequence, and Sophie never truly hates him, although that wouldā€™ve encouraged at least a single iota of development for Keefeā€™s arc.Ā 
Lodestar
ā€œā€˜Sorry my note was so hasty. Next time Iā€™ll make sure it rhymes.ā€™ā€ Sorry, no more page numbers, I donā€™t have a physical copy. I donā€™t know why Shannon insists on running the rhyming joke into the ground. Repeating the same joke over and over doesnā€™t make it funnier.Ā 
So the thing about this scene where Keefe breaks into the principalā€™s office is that he does get held somewhat accountable. Every time he makes a joke and isnā€™t serious, Sophie calls him out. When he plays dumb and says he didnā€™t expect Sophie to hate him, she calls him out. He tries to defend his atrocious plan, she shuts him down. But that doesnā€™t last.Ā 
ā€œAnd there it was. Keefeā€™s guilt.ā€ I still donā€™t understand what Keefe is guilty over. Because Shannon doesnā€™t bother to make it make sense. No logical person would feel guilty over their parentā€™s betrayal. Especially not when they didnā€™t like that parent much to start with. But how else are we going to get our precious forced consolation scenes, if Shannon canā€™t make up something for Keefe to angst over?
ā€œā€˜What is the Lodestar Initiative?ā€™ she pressed. ā€˜And what other lost memories did you recover? You said there were more.ā€™ ā€˜It doesnā€™t matter.ā€™ ā€˜Obviously it does.ā€™ā€ Sophie tries to get solid answers from Keefe and he continues to withhold. These arenā€™t just any old personal secrets either, theyā€™re secrets that have something to do with the enemy theyā€™re both fighting. By keeping this information away from Sophie, Keefe actively hinders her cause. But of course, heā€™s so stupid and arrogant and thinks he knows whatā€™s best for Sophie that heā€™ll never see it that way. He is such a frustrating character and this book is almost the worst portrayal of him.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Thereā€™s always a choice, Keefe.ā€™ ā€˜Yeahā€”Iā€™m going to find a way to end this on my terms. Thatā€™s my choice.ā€™ā€ Wow, Keefe is such an arrogant idiot. He really just admitted that he was the only person he was going to listen to. Not anyone smarter than him, more experienced than him, hell, not even Sophie, who heā€™s supposedly doing this for. No, itā€™s just his way or the highway. Because he thinks heā€™s smarter than everyone else. Including their enemies, who have proven time and time again to be at least twenty-two steps ahead. He doesnā€™t even bring up his plan with the Black Swan. They mightā€™ve taught him or told him something that could help. But no. He does it all himself, but he only cares about his own opinion, and Sophieā€™s. Oh and by the way, Sophie doesnā€™t call him out on any of this this time around.
ā€œā€˜What happens when they notice itā€™s gone?ā€™ He shrugged.ā€ He literally just admitted he didnā€™t have a plan. Thatā€™s his thing. Heā€™ll do something reckless (like giving Sophie the pendant back) and then not think about the consequences. He is so stupid, it hurts my soul. I cannot fathom how he manages to entertain this delusion that he can beat the Neverseen single-handedly.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Youā€™d rather keep hurting the people who care about you?ā€™ ā€˜Iā€™m helping you!ā€™ ā€˜And hurting us.ā€™ā€ Heā€™s not helping. At all. Helping would be executing a plan that everyone agreed was a good idea. Helping would be brainstorming ideas for a plan with a group, so they can figure out all the pros and cons and go from there. Helping would be being there for the people that need him. But, no. Keefe instead embarks on a selfish quest to end things all by himself so that he can feel good about himself and maybe even so that Sophie will think highly of him. He doesnā€™t care about anyone else, he just cares about himself. If he did care about other people, he would consult them and consider their advice instead of disregarding it and assuming heā€™s the smartest person in the room, when in actuality, heā€™s most likely the stupidest. By a lot.
[cut because character limit]
ā€œā€˜Thatā€™s what Iā€™d been hoping for. But [Fitz] didnā€™t even raise his voice. He just looked away so I wouldnā€™t see him crying. So did Biana. Even Dex teared up.ā€™ Seconds ticked by. Maybe minutes. It felt like forever before Keefe whispered, ā€˜What about you?ā€™ [ . . . ] ā€˜I also helped you escape,ā€™ Keefe reminded her.ā€ Another thing that is so irritating about Keefe is how he doesnā€™t care about anyone except Sophie and puts her on this pedestal. He doesnā€™t care about any of his friends as much as he does Sophie, and he only bothers opening up to her. He doesnā€™t try to form a bond with anyone else, and he neglects all his other friends for Sophie. In this example, when Sophie tells him how the others reacted, he simply changes the subject back to her, instead of saying something about the others. When Sophie tells him how she reacted, he acts interested again.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Even if it is, the things youā€™re doing are real. That cache could destroy everything. And you handed it over like it was no big dealā€”ā€™ ā€˜Because it wasnā€™t! They canā€™t open it. Theyā€™ve had all their Technopaths working on it, and they canā€™t break through the security.ā€™ ā€˜And when they finally figure it out?ā€™ ā€˜Iā€™ll steal it back long before that happens. I can handle this, Sophie.ā€™ā€ No, he canā€™t. Heā€™s proven that heā€™s incapable of thinking even an inch into the future, with his response to the monocle pendant situation. Thereā€™s no feasible way Keefe couldā€™ve known how incompetent the Neverseenā€™s Technopaths are at getting into the cache. Heā€™d never even heard of a cache before Neverseen. So it couldā€™ve backfired massively. And how is he going to steal it back? He has no plan. He doesnā€™t know what heā€™s doing.
ā€œā€˜Itā€™s not a test. They . . . sent me here.ā€™ ā€˜Why would they do that?ā€™ Keefeā€™s eyes returned to the ceiling. ā€˜Probably because I suggested it.ā€™ā€ So let me get this straight: Keefe told the Neverseen to send him to Foxfire where all his friends go to school, and he thinks they didnā€™t find that suspicious at all? I'm laughing. Honestly, thatā€™s hilarious.
ā€œā€˜Miss Foster understands Mr. Sencen in ways the rest of us simply cannot. [ . . . ] He opened up to her. Leaned on her. Trusted her.ā€™ā€ Yes, because she wouldnā€™t leave him alone. Which is not a level of effort she put into anyone elseā€™s problems. Think about when Fitz was spiraling over his father in Exile. Or when Fitz got stabbed. She didnā€™t pay nearly as much attention as she did to Keefe in his times of crisis. Again, Shannon has a massive bias toward Keefe. Heā€™s treated much better than the rest of the supporting cast. But somehow, despite that, he doesnā€™t get any development at all. And the reason Keefe opened up to Sophie and nobody else is because he only cares about her opinion, and nobody elseā€™s. He pedestalizes her heavily.
[cut because character limit]
ā€œā€˜Need I remind you that Keefeā€™s doing the same thing our daughter tried to do?ā€™ā€ Oh, boy. I hate when people use this argument. In short, while Jolie and Keefe had the same plan, their executions couldnā€™t have been more different. Jolie was reached out to by both sides and the Neverseen had no idea that she was involved with the Black Swan at all. The Neverseen are well aware of Keefeā€™s involvement with the Black Swan. So, where Jolie just had to get the Neverseen to trust her, Keefe has to convince them that he betrayed his friends, a much harder task. Jolie also had a feasible motive, to get her bad match status erased. Keefe doesnā€™t have anything even resembling a possible reason for why heā€™d want to join the Neverseen. So the Neverseen are going to be even more suspicious of him. Jolie trained. She told the Black Swan what she was doing. She planned. Eventually, she got the Black Swanā€™s approval and she had their help. Keefe, on the other hand, did not do a single modicum of actually valuable training. He didnā€™t tell anyone, and he didnā€™t talk his plan through with the group. Nobody thought it was a good idea, and nobodyā€™s helping him. Heā€™s completely on his own. Keefe also has to live with them, which Jolie never did. Thatā€™s more opportunities to slip up, and a small difference like that can add up. And I know Iā€™ll sound like a broken record, but Keefe is just. So stupid. He doesnā€™t think about his actions and their consequences, just barrels right into them. Jolie has proven to be very clever, leaving a list of clues that she knew only a Black Swan member would be able to find.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Oh goodā€”so the thing That Boy stole is putting all of us in more danger,ā€™ Grady muttered.ā€ For the record, I find Grady to be an incredibly immature guardian, with what and his calling Keefe ā€œThat Boyā€. But thatā€™s not what Iā€™m here for right now. And he does make a good point right here. Keefe is putting them all in danger, and he doesnā€™t even know if what heā€™s doing will have any sort of payout.
ā€œHow does Fitz not pee his pants every time you do thisā€”or wait, DOES HE?ā€ This book easily gets it the worst when it comes to Keefeā€™s humor. The potty humor is at an all-time high, and Keefe is even more cringy and annoying than usual.
ā€œBesidesā€”if she was going to trust Keefe, she had to trust him.ā€ Why??? He didnā€™t do a single thing to earn her trust. Why should she trust him??? This shouldnā€™t be about Sophieā€™s feelings, theyā€™re in the middle of a war, and thatā€™s what should matter. Keefe has compromised a very important piece of intelligence, so she shouldnā€™t be trusting him at all. ā€œOh, but he's her friend!ā€ Yes, heā€™s her friend, but the war is always more important than foolishly placing your trust in the wrong hands because of . . . feelings.Ā Ā 
ā€œ[Keefe] Luck had nothing to do with it. I planned it perfectly. [Sophie] Thatā€™s exactly the kind of overconfidence thatā€™s going to get you killed. [Keefe] Not necessarily.ā€ He really thinks he didnā€™t get lucky and that the whole thing was because of his ā€œperfectā€ planning. But no plan is perfect. That fact that Keefe doesnā€™t know that is proof as to why he shouldnā€™t be doing this. A good planner understands that every plan has inherent risks and never, ever gets cocky because something can always go wrong. Keefeā€™s just not willing to see the risks to his plans. And that makes him dangerous. And so, so stupid.
ā€œYepā€”itā€™s a date. Tell your boyfriends not to be jealous.ā€ Have some more cringy Keefe-style flirtation.Ā 
[cut because character limit]
ā€œ[Sophie] Keefoster? [Keefe] Sounds way cooler than Sophitz or Dophie, right? And donā€™t even get me started on Bangs Boy.ā€ Keefeā€™s cringy ship name humor is back at it again. Iā€™m pretty sure he uses ship names more than the entire fandom combined. God, Shannon needs to stop using him to pat herself on the back. Keefe once again displays jealousy toward not only Tam, but Fitz and Dex. He subtly tells Sophie that she should be with him, not any of them, which is so utterly out of line that I donā€™t even have the words to describe how much I want to punch him in the face for his possessiveness. Itā€™s not his right to tell her that. Also, objectively speaking, Keefoster sounds atrocious. It also sounds like ā€œKeefe Fosterā€, and Iā€™m sure Shannon is patting herself on the back for seeming so subtle. Sokeefe is a much better ship name, but is never actually brought up in the series. If Shannon intends to continue with this atrocious in-story ship-name-dropping, she could at least use a good one.
ā€œ[Keefe] [Ā  . . . ] it is kinda nice having someone look out for me. [Sophie] You donā€™t make it easy. [ . . . ] His floating thoughts made it clear how determined he was to protect her.ā€ Yippee, another forced consolation scene! Sophie and Keefe basically tell each other that theyā€™re out to protect each other. Sophie says Keefe doesnā€™t make it easy on her, which is true. He takes advantage of her trust, runs into dangerous situations without a care in the direction of how itā€™ll affect Sophieā€™s mental state. And Keefe doing this whole thing to protect Sophie . . . no. Just no. Heā€™s already admitted heā€™s doing this because heā€™s only willing to do it his way. He wants to do this for a multitude of selfish reasons, one of which is Sophieā€™s opinion of him and his character, which is not the same as doing something ā€œfor Sophieā€. Heā€™s doing it for himself. He doesnā€™t care about Sophieā€™s opinion on what he should do, or he wouldā€™ve listened to her. And the part about how itā€™s ā€œnice [to have] someone look[ing] out for [Keefe]ā€ is just. I canā€™t even. Keefe is so whiny. Plenty of people care about and look out for him. The Black Swan, frustrating as they are, Alden and Della, his friends, even Grady and Edaline. But of course the only one he cares about is Sophie. Because he only cares about Sophieā€™s opinion of him and nobody elseā€™s.Ā 
ā€œYou can ignore it all you want, Foster, but sooner or later youā€™re going to have to solve the triangle. Or should we get real and call it a square?ā€ Fantastic, some more horrible Keefe flirtation! Also my feelings on authors using the term ā€œlove square/triangleā€ in their books is pretty much the same as my feelings about authors using ship names in their books. Itā€™s so pick-me, like Look! I acknowledged the love triangle in my own book! Arenā€™t I the greatest? Isnā€™t that so self-aware of me?
ā€œThere you go, rocking the whole adorable-when-youā€™re-angry thing. I think thatā€™s what Iā€™ve missed about you the most.ā€ Keefe infantilizes Sophie by saying sheā€™s cute when sheā€™s angry. She is trying to express her feelings, and all Keefe can do is be all Awwwwww. Isnā€™t that so cute? Sheā€™s angry! How adorable. Itā€™s a form of invalidating someoneā€™s feelings, by treating them like theyā€™re just entertainment or by brushing them off like that. Itā€™s some of the most manipulative behavior out there. It also saves Keefe from having to actually take Sophieā€™s feelings into account. His infantilization of her also shows up in his incessant need to protect her. Itā€™s icky and gross, and authors should stop encouraging this behavior.
ā€œYes, I will call you Lady Lectures-a-Lot every time you transmit to me.ā€ Have another example of Keefeā€™s cringy-ass nickname humor.Ā 
ā€œ[Sophie] And can you focus for one second? [Keefe] I suppose I can try. . . . ā€ Keefe continues to try to frustrate and annoy Sophie on purpose. You know, for his own entertainment. As good friends do.
[cut because character limit]
ā€œā€˜We also found my favorite bramble jersey,ā€™ Fitz added. ā€˜I knew he stole it.ā€™ā€ Because stealing your best friendā€™s personal possessions and never giving them back is a completely normal thing to do.Ā 
"But she needed to see Wylieā€™s memories for herself and make sure Keefe wasnā€™t there.ā€ Hereā€™s an example of Keefeā€™s decisions impacting Sophie. Her mental health has been on a decline the entire time she was at Dexā€™s; all she thinks about is whether Keefe will be involved and whether heā€™ll be able to trick the Neverseen and how heā€™ll get out of this one. All she does is worry, worry, worry. And itā€™s all on Keefe. He didnā€™t take Sophieā€™s advice into account when he made his decision (which he wouldā€™ve done if he truly cared about her) and itā€™s affecting Sophie.
ā€œā€˜I know youā€™re going to get mad at me for saying this. But before we keep trusting him, we need to find out what he knowsā€”and I donā€™t just mean the little bits he tells you during your nightly flirt sessions.ā€™ ā€˜Thatā€™s not what they are,ā€™ Sophie snapped. ā€˜Maybe not for you. But I doubt the guy who calls himself the president of the Foster Fan Club is going to have a bunch of private convos with you and not use that chance to try to keep winning you over.ā€™ā€ Exactly. Thank you, Tam. Finally, someone in the story who gets it.
ā€œā€˜Keefeā€”weā€™re serious,ā€™ Sophie said. ā€˜Oh, I know. Fitz is giving me his ā€œIā€™m so seriousā€ scowl. And youā€™re hitting me with a whole mess of emotions.ā€™ā€ Canā€™t believe I have to put up with Keefe again after all this page time without him. And does he know that? Does he really? Because if he knew, he would be serious. But Keefe is incapable of acting serious, even when the time calls for it. All he can do is joke.Ā 
ā€œā€˜We need to make sure you werenā€™t involved.ā€™ Keefe rolled his eyes. ā€˜Would I be here if I was?ā€™ā€ Yes??? He could do all kinds of things. And Fitz was perfectly valid when he said that they needed to make sure Keefe wasnā€™t involved. Keefe is currently working with the enemy. Itā€™s as simple as that. Itā€™s not unreasonable to want to know if he was involved with one of their plans. On the other hand, it is unreasonable for Keefe to ask them to put all their trust and faith in him when heā€™s working with their enemies. He needs to stop demanding everyone change to accommodate him, and accept the consequences of his actions.Ā 
ā€œā€˜I would never be in your position,ā€™ Fitz argued. ā€˜Yeah, youā€™re better at taking the easy way.ā€™ā€ No, heā€™s better at taking the smart, unselfish way. Heā€™s better at not throwing everyoneā€™s faith and trust in him down the drain because he wants to be the hero.Ā 
ā€œā€˜They have a network that stretches way farther than you could ever imagine. Iā€™ve only seen a tiny piece of it, and itā€™s seriously terrifying. I canā€™t fight it without making some hard calls!ā€™ā€ By Keefeā€™s own admission, the Neverseenā€™s organization skills, plans, and goals are ā€œseriously terrifyingā€. And yet, he thinks he alone can defeat them by working from the inside out. He also uses the word ā€œIā€, like he thinks heā€™s the only one. A Freudian slip if Iā€™ve ever seen one. No, Keefe, you are not the only one fighting the Neverseen.Ā 
ā€œUh, helloā€”you have me. I know I got a few details wrong yesterday [ . . . ]ā€ Keefe says he got ā€œa few details wrongā€ as if those few details didn't result in someone getting tortured. Heā€™s incredibly incompetent, but trying to hide it. Heā€™s got it flipped, actually. He got the plan as a whole wrong, and only got a few details correct. He didnā€™t get any actually useful information, and still thinks they should rely on him despite the fact that heā€™s proven he has nothing useful to offer. Because heā€™s stupid and arrogantly wants to believe that his way is the best way.
ā€œā€˜Dude, are you blushing?ā€ Fitz asked. ā€˜Only because I can feel what Fosterā€™s feeling,ā€™ Keefe snapped back. Sophie rolled her eyes. ā€˜Iā€™m not feeling anything.ā€™ā€ Nothing particularly wrong with this, just this exchange makes me cringe every time. But thatā€™s subjective.
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ā€œ[Sophie] You get why we had to make sure, right? [Keefe] Itā€™s still not awesome knowing you guys sat around talking about how you donā€™t trust me. [Sophie] You donā€™t make it easy.ā€ They canā€™t trust him. This is bigger than Keefeā€™s pathetic boo-hoo-my-friends-donā€™t-trust-me. They would if they could. He ran off and joined the enemy and theyā€™re in the middle of a war. They have to think with logic, not emotion, and logic always says that anyone working with the enemy canā€™t be trusted and must be treated as such. Itā€™s not a personal attack on Keefe. But Keefe will always see it that way.
ā€œI canā€™t worry about that, Foster. I canā€™t think about what-ifs or maybes. I can only take it one day at a timeā€”one assignment at a timeā€”and fight my way through.ā€ Did- Did Keefe just admit he doesnā€™t plan ahead? And try to spin it so it looks like a good thing? This is the guy theyā€™re supposed to be trusting??? This is the guy that thinks heā€™s smarter than the Neverseen, who, by his own admission, have networks that stretch farther than the mind can comprehend? Serious???
ā€œAnd ten minutes ago you thought I was Wylieā€™s fourth kidnapper. Remind me to thank Bangs Boy for that the next time I see him. And the Fitzster.ā€ Thank them for making a logical decision? During a war? Yes, you should.Ā 
ā€œ[Keefe] Aw, come on, Foster. Iā€™m the cute guy who chooses to save the kids, remember? How can you resist me? [Sophie] Who said anything about cute? [Keefe] It totally goes without saying. Donā€™t even try to deny it.ā€ Keefeā€™s flirtation is back and cringier than ever!
ā€œ[Keefe] And in the meantime, maybe I need to lose this cloak and see what happens. . . . [Sophie] Bad ideaā€”especially after you took such a risk to meet with us today. [Keefe] There you go again with your logic. Itā€™s really cramping my style.ā€ First of all, why does Sophie need to tell him that losing the cloak is such a bad idea when Keefe himself literally said a few pages ago that it was a bad idea? Is he really that drawn to ideas that seem stupid? Is he really so arrogant that he thinks he can get away with that a second time? And secondly, hereā€™s another example of Shannon using the same joke again and again.
ā€œUgh. I guess you do need to see that memory, donā€™t you?ā€ This isnā€™t the best quote (said by Keefe, for context) to represent what Iā€™m about to say, but oh, well. I canā€™t copy this entire scene down because this goes on for a while, but Keefe literally stalls on his end of the bargain he makes with Sophie for quite a long time. He considered not even holding up his end, even though Sophie had already held up hers. He only relents when he realizes Sophie needs to see the memory. Which is not good. It shows that he canā€™t be trusted to hold up his side of a deal unless he decides he needs to.Ā 
ā€œKeefe turned away, watching the waves crash onto the beach. ā€˜I donā€™t want you feeling sorry for me.ā€™ ā€˜I canā€™t help it. But itā€™s not pity. Itā€™s . . . I donā€™t know what the word for it is. Iā€™m too conflicted.ā€™ā€ So, remember that quote I wrote in blue? Weā€™re circling back to it. I said that Keefe is constantly feeling sorry for himself and that the scene just drowns in his self-pity. Shannon then realizes that this isnā€™t really a good thing necessarily, and her solution is just to have Keefe say that he doesnā€™t want Sophie feeling sorry for him. This is a sentiment that continues through the story, where Keefe claims he hates people pitying him. But thatā€™s just Shannon telling us that. What she shows us is a completely different story, and that reveals that Keefe does nothing but wallow in his own self-pity, usually during his forced consolation scenes. It doesnā€™t matter that Keefe apparently doesnā€™t want anyone to pity him, because Shannon spends so much time trying to convince you to pity him that the whole thing falls flat. There are several more instances of this, but for now Iā€™ll just write this in blue as well, because these two quotes are connected in one larger point Iā€™m trying to make.Ā 
[cut because character limit]
ā€œ[Keefe] Wow. Thatā€™s just . . . He burst into a fit of snorty giggles. [Sophie] Iā€™m glad you find this so amusing. [Keefe] You donā€™t? Donā€™t tell me you actually believe him.ā€ This isnā€™t about whether or not something sounds strange or funny or ridiculous. Itā€™s about whether or not itā€™s plausible. At this point in time, it was very plausible that Keefe was created as a counter to Project Moonlark, even though heā€™s older than Sophie. So they were treating it like a real possibility. But Keefe laughs at it, because it sounds stupid to him. He doesnā€™t even consider it. Just immediately discards the possibility. Which isnā€™t a good thing. Itā€™s a very close-minded attitude to have. Which is not good in the middle of a war.
ā€œā€˜They know Iā€™m here,ā€™ Keefe told her. ā€˜Thereā€™s an ogre enzyme that stinks like the entire world is rotting, and I may have accidentally knocked a vial of it into the laundry basin while I was washing Fintanā€™s favorite cloaks. It can only be removed with selkie skin, so they sent me to get what I need to clean up my mess.ā€™ā€ Iā€™m laughing so hard. Collecting selkie skin probably isnā€™t going to take more than a few minutes, and theyā€™ve been talking a long time, so the Neverseen are definitely going to be suspicious of him. Honestly, this plan is even dumber than I remember.
ā€œā€˜And I used those five seconds to drop off the bead before I headed here. It was perfect.ā€™ā€ Every time Keefe describes a stupid part of his plan and then refers to his plan as ā€œperfectā€, I take psychic damage. Smart people know that no plan is ever perfect. So the fact that Keefe thinks his plan is shows why he isnā€™t ready to be a double agent.
ā€œā€˜Woo-hoo for bonus Keefoster time! Try not to get jealous, Fitzy. She still likes you better than meā€”but someday I will wear her down. Iā€™m sneaky like that.ā€™ā€ Was- Was that a real line??? That Shannon actually wrote??? And then didnā€™t immediately erase? Keefe is such a jerk. This line proves he just sees Sophie as the rope in the tug-of-war heā€™s playing with Fitz. He doesnā€™t care about her. He just wants to ā€œwear her downā€, as if a real person with real emotions is something he can just mess around with until he gets what he wants.
ā€œYouā€™re so cute when you worry, he told her.ā€ More classic Keefe infantilization. He once again invalidates Sophieā€™s feelings by dumbing them down and acting like theyā€™re this cute, quirky, inconsequential thing.
ā€œFine. Forgive me for trying to have a little fun after yesterdayā€™s drama.ā€ Did you know. That itā€™s possible. To have fun. Without infantilizing others? More of Keefeā€™s jokes being mean/rude/generally atrocious behavior.
ā€œ[Keefe] She puts Bangs Boy to shameā€”and she doesnā€™t have stupid hair. [Sophie] I thought she always hid under her cloak. [Keefe] She does. But as the crowned king of good-hair land, I can tell when Iā€™m talking to one of my rightful subjects.ā€ Keefeā€™s jokes about his hair are so painfully unfunny and come off as cocky when Shannon oversteps. Which she does. A lot. We get it, he styles his hair to look a certain way because heā€™s such a wannabe bad boy. Now can we talk about anything else?
ā€œBut after everyone went to sleep, I tore open the seam in my cloak and found another black disk right where you said it would be.ā€ He . . . tore the disk out of the cloak. When they have no idea what it does. And they know the Neverseen put it there for a reason. And heā€™s trying to be careful. He just tore it out??? Howā€™s he going to put it back in and make everything seem normal again??? Is he really that dumb?
ā€œActually, Iā€™m pretty sure this is good enough news that youā€™re going to want to kiss meā€”and Iā€™m happy to accept an IOU, by the way.ā€ Ah, Keefe, your humor never fails to make me cringe.
ā€œ[Keefe] ā€˜Ode to Keefe Sencenā€”that brave, lovable nut. He may not have teal eyes, but he has a really cuteā€”ā€™ [Sophie] KEEFE!ā€ Keefeā€™s favorite pastime of annoying Sophie rears its ugly head once more. Also, will he stop comparing himself to Fitz for two seconds?
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ā€œ[Keefe] And brace yourself because Iā€™m about to blow your mind. Are you ready for it? [Sophie] Iā€™ve been ready for the last five minutes. [Keefe] You think youā€™re ready. But thereā€™s no way you possibly can be. [Sophie] JUST TELL ME.ā€ More of Keefe annoying Sophie just for the heck of it. I honestly donā€™t understand why sheā€™d constantly want to be around someone whoā€™s so annoying, it makes no sense.
ā€œJust like I havenā€™t gotten any more info about the ogresā€™ test, or King Dimitarā€™s meeting with Fintan, or Fintanā€™s cache, or any of the things I canā€™t get anyone to talk about [ . . . ]ā€ I donā€™t understand how Keefe is so stupid that he can see all this evidence right in front of him, even admit it to Sophie, and still think his plan to join the Neverseen was a good one. I- Heā€™s just so stupid. He just ignores every. Single. Red. Flag. Just because he thinks heā€™s smarter than everyone else. You cannot trust someone this tone-deaf. You just canā€™t. I donā€™t know why the narrative keeps pushing the idea that Keefe just needs Sophieā€™s trust and heā€™ll be fine. Canā€™t he understand that Sophie just cannot trust him? That itā€™s just not possible?
ā€œ[Keefe] I did warn you. I just didnā€™t know the specifics. [Sophie] I know. But thatā€™s the thing neither of us have wanted to admit. If you canā€™t give the specifics, everything youā€™re doing is worthless.ā€ How stupid do you have to be to have to have that spelled out for you? You need to give specific warnings or theyā€™re worthless. But Keefe needs to believe what heā€™s doing is worth something. How else will he keep his head inflated?
ā€œHe thought she didnā€™t have a plan, and that everything sheā€™d said was just an angry rant.ā€ Wow. Just wow. Keefe doesnā€™t trust Sophie, nor does he listen to Sophie. He only listens to himself. Sophie just admitted that to herself. By not listening to her and taking her advice to heart, he invalidates her feelings and her plans for his own. Now, why is Sophieā€™s plan better than Keefeā€™s, logically speaking? Because Sophie has a specific idea of what sheā€™s going to do now. Keefe doesnā€™t. And he doesnā€™t listen to her or take anything she says into consideration. If he genuinely believes heā€™s doing this ā€œfor Sophieā€, heā€™s seriously delusional.Ā 
ā€œIs this going to be another one of those nights where you spend the whole time yelling at me to come home? Keefe asked, making her sit up straighter as his thoughts filled her head. Because as much as I love it when you get all feisty on me, nowā€™s really not a good time.ā€ God, Keefe is so subtly invalidating. He treats Sophie like sheā€™s just his personal worry machine, not a person with valid concerns and ideas. The flippant way he talks about her worry for him makes me so mad. He takes her worry for granted and throws it back in her face, without a care for how it would affect her mental health. He brushes her off and invalidates her because he thinks heā€™s so much smarter than everyone else. Not to mention he calls her worry ā€œfeistyā€ and further infantilizes her feelings and ideas.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Dude, save your daddy issues for another time,ā€™ Tam ordered. ā€˜Fintan doesnā€™t care about you. He doesnā€™t trust you. And if you go back to him, heā€™ll destroy you.ā€™ Keefeā€™s eye roll was epic. ā€˜Donā€™t you need to go fix your bangs or something?ā€™ā€ In case you need more proof that Keefe is the stupidest, most pathetic idiot ever. First of all, Tam brings up a valid point. And Keefeā€™s response is to make a personal attack. You know, because heā€™s stupid and has nothing actually good to say in response. Heā€™s completely pathetic, with his stupid rivalry with Tam clouding all his judgment. He treats Tamā€™s suggestion like itā€™s stupid because . . . Tam is the one who said it. He canā€™t even dignify Tam with a proper counterargument. He is so stupid, I canā€™t stand it. He doesnā€™t know when to stop joking around or when to stop taking shots at people. Heā€™s straight-up mean, and this isnā€™t even a time to be joking. This is a serious situation, and all Keefe can think about is this pathetic animosity he has toward Tam.Ā 
[cut because character limit]
ā€œā€˜Please donā€™t do this,ā€™ she begged. ā€˜If you leave here with that crystal, youā€™ll trap usā€”and youā€™ll compromise Alluveterre.ā€™ ā€˜The Black Swan can sacrifice one hideout for what this will get me,ā€™ Keefe said. ā€˜And you can teleport. There has to be a cliff around here you can jump off to get the momentum.ā€™ā€ Yes, what this will get you. What thatā€™ll get you is . . . something that you turned over to the Neverseen yourself (Kenricā€™s cache). This whole mess is Keefeā€™s fault. If he had just been less stupid, he wouldnā€™t have to sacrifice the Black Swanā€™s hideout to get the caches. Yes, Fintanā€™s cache would be a gain, but itā€™s not strictly necessary or needed. Nobody asked him to get it, he just arbitrarily decided that itā€™s what they need. You know, because he thinks they need it. He doesnā€™t understand risk or reward, and he doesnā€™t understand that some things arenā€™t worth sacrificing. Other people will have different opinions on whether or not somethingā€™s worth something else, but Keefe doesnā€™t do teamwork. He hijacks plans, then ruins them. He works off of what he, an inexperienced, scared, reckless teenager, thinks is best. Then he executes his atrocious plans without a drop of consideration from anyone else.Ā 
ā€œ[ . . . ] but Iā€™m even better at fixing things.ā€™ā€ No, no youā€™re not, Keefe. When has he ever fixed a single thing, up until this point in the story? Never. Heā€™s only ever tried to do things that would get him killed but then is always stopped by Sophie. No, not stopped. Stalled. Even Sophie canā€™t reel him in. Heā€™s only ever made Sophie go out of her mind with worry over him. He has no credibility to say that heā€™s ever ā€œfixedā€ something. Itā€™s simply untrue. The truth is: Keefe messes things up way more than he fixes them.Ā 
ā€œā€˜[ . . . ] know that I will end this.ā€™ā€ Keefe still thinks heā€™s everyoneā€™s savior, he still thinks heā€™s the hero they all need, instead of the idiot all their carefully arranged plans are ruined by. I have never seen such a stupid, idiotic, arrogant, blind character. But maybe I just need to read more.
ā€œYou realize Iā€™m not actually pooping, right? I mean, I know weā€™ve shared a lot of things, but I donā€™t think poop should be one of themā€”unless itā€™s sparkly and from an alicorn. Or blasting like a geyser out of a gulon.ā€ Keefe knows Sophie is mad at him, and knows he should be grateful sheā€™s even reaching out to him, and yet all he does is make the stupidest, unfunniest jokes to annoy her. Itā€™s like heā€™s trying to sabotage his relationship with her. Also, Shannonā€™s use of potty humor never fails to feel incredibly out of place and so, so juvenile.Ā 
ā€œIt doesnā€™t matter what I think. Itā€™s not like you listen to me. The thought had a snap to it, and Sophie could see Keefeā€™s mind sting. But she wasnā€™t going to apologize.ā€ Good. She shouldnā€™t. He deserves to feel that ā€œstingā€. All heā€™s done is ruin things, worry Sophie, and think heā€™s the greatest ever. He deserves to be put in his place. This isnā€™t even half of what he deserves.Ā 
ā€œā€œIā€™ll be outside Lumenaria as soon as I bust out of here. I donā€™t care if there are patrols, Iā€™ll find a way to evade them. I want to be closeā€”that way if you need me, I can help.ā€ Keefe, you realize you canā€™t just bypass security, right??? Like, theyā€™re experts, and youā€™re a stupid teenager. You canā€™t just hide from them forever. Also, wow. The sheer arrogance Keefe needs to have to assume that Sophieā€™s going to need him, and him in particular. He still sees himself as Sophieā€™s savior.
[cut because character limit]
ā€œ[Sophie] I wish he wasnā€™t coming here, she told Mr. Forkle. Itā€™s way too risky, and heā€™s only doing it because he feels like he needs to make everything up to me. [Mr. Forkle] He does need to make it up to you. Havenā€™t you realized that yet? Thatā€™s why you and Mr. Sencen work so well together. You both push each other to believe in yourselves. Donā€™t go easy on him now because youā€™re afraid heā€™s too fragile. The more you let him prove himself, the more heā€™ll realize heā€™s still worthy.ā€ He does need to make everything up to Sophie, but Mr. Forkle is just. So wrong. If someone consistently ruins everything, they shouldnā€™t be given several more chances to prove that theyā€™re ā€œstill worthyā€, especially not without some additional reflection on their actions and especially not in a high-stakes war. Theyā€™ll just mess everything up again??? That should be common sense to a leader of a rebel group. Keefe needs to learn his lesson, and the only way to have that happen is to punish him for his actions. He needs to face consequences, and in a way that makes sure he doesnā€™t screw anything up again. And thatā€™s by forcing him to stand on the sidelines. He cannot be allowed onto the ā€œbattlefieldā€, so to speak, when he actively puts everyone in danger by being there. He needs to understand everything that happened was his fault, and he needs to do something to stop himself from screwing it all up again.
ā€œKeefeā€™s smile was somehow both breathtaking and heartbreaking, but it faded as he stroked her cheek [ . . . ]ā€ Why is he randomly stroking her cheek when she just got up??? Itā€™s so weird. Nobody does that. Itā€™s weird and he needs to stop. And no, ā€œtheyā€™re good friendsā€ is not a good excuse. Itā€™s incredibly strange to start touching someoneā€™s face out of the blue. I can practically see Shannon patting herself on the back and thinking it makes their bond so much stronger. Really, it makes it so much creepier.
ā€œā€˜All those months with them, thinking I was playing everything perfectly. I bet they were onto me the whole time. Just like my mom said. And they were planning this.ā€™ He punched the sand, sending it spraying around them. Sophie held him tighter. ā€˜This is not your fault, Keefe. None of us realized what they were up to.ā€™ā€ Ah, another forced consolation scene, my dearly detested! And, look, Shannon even squeezed a ā€œItā€™s not your faultā€ in there. While Lumenaria coming down is obviously not Keefeā€™s fault, it definitely speaks to his ego that he thought he was smarter than the Neverseen. Yes, heā€™s realizing now that he was wrong, but it doesnā€™t change the fact that he should still have to face the consequences. He joined the enemy without anybodyā€™s approval. He canā€™t work with a team without hijacking everything himself and overturning everyone elseā€™s ideas. He should still have to face the consequences of what he did. ā€œI know now that I was wrongā€ doesnā€™t change anything. It doesnā€™t show any real consequence. It shows a tiny bit of growth, but nothing solid or meaningful. Itā€™s a throwaway line that you could honestly miss if you werenā€™t paying close attention.
ā€œā€˜Itā€™s still huge,ā€™ Sophie promised. ā€˜I know it doesnā€™t feel like itā€”but the secrets in those caches have to be important. Thatā€™s a victory!ā€™ ā€˜A pretty weak one,ā€™ he grumbled, trying to look away. She reached up and turned his chin back, waiting for him to meet her eyes. ā€˜You have to let this go. Donā€™t let this ruin what we have here.ā€™ā€ No, heā€™s right, Sophie. For once in his life. Sophie tries to comfort Keefe, and this entire scene feels so weak, like Shannon is desperately reaching for drama to fuel her beloved forced consolation scenes. In reality, itā€™s very simple. The caches have nothing on real-life implications. So, yes, the caches are a victory, but itā€™s a very, very weak one, and not at all worth the things Keefe did to get them. Also, Sophie grabbing Keefeā€™s chin like that is very, very weird behavior. Nobody does that with their friends, just grabbing their chins to force them to look at them.
Nightfall
ā€œHeā€™d also been working every day to make up for his mistakes.ā€ Thank you for telling us that instead of showing it, Shannon. If he really felt sorry, heā€™d understand that he needs to change and stop being so reckless before he can safely be a part of plans and schemes again. If he doesnā€™t realize that, heā€™ll never stop putting people in danger.
ā€œSo, when Fintan asked for my blood, I told him he needed to prove that I could trust him by answering one question. And once he did, I had to hold up my end of the deal.ā€ In case youā€™re wondering, the number of things Keefe screwed up during his time with the Neverseen is now: compromising Alluveterre, giving up his blood, freeing Alvar (although we know that probably wouldnā€™t have mattered, since they got away, but Keefe didnā€™t know that at the time, so I mean), and being wrong several times about the Neverseen going after Grady and Edaline.Ā 
ā€œBut Fintan interrogated me when I got back, and I had to use the crystal to convince him not to burn off my arm.ā€ This is the guy Keefe thought trusted him, by the way. Come on, he canā€™t be this stupid.Ā 
ā€œ[Sophie] Do you really think Fintan would help you steal the caches if theyā€™re actually important? [Keefe] Yeah, Foster. I do. Because he had no idea that he gave me the other piece of the code phrase weeks earlier, after he had too much fizzleberry wine.ā€ Wait, the leader of the Neverseen got drunk in front of a teenager he doesnā€™t trust, and Keefe didnā€™t find that suspicious??? At all??? Really??? I canā€™t believe Keefe is that dumb . . . actually wait. This is Keefe. Never mind, I believe it entirely.Ā 
ā€œTrading my blood was a bad call. But I SWEAR the caches are still a score.ā€ Keefeā€™s cockiness has come back in full force, yā€™all. Remember that forced consolation scene at the end of Lodestar where Keefe lamented about how the caches were a weak victory? Well, why bother with consistency? He thinks theyā€™re a ā€œscoreā€ now! This is what I mean when I say the forced consolation scenes are so dumb and only there for Shannon to milk some worthless comfort between Sophie and Keefe. She has to force it, which means half the time it makes no sense, so she either has to pretend it didnā€™t exist and reset for the next one, or contradict herself like she did here. Either way, it will just lead to another forced consolation scene, and eventually thereā€™s only so many times you can take Sophie and Keefe having the same conversation over and over again.
ā€œIā€™ll fix this, okay? Keefe promised. Iā€™m going to fix everything. You mean ā€˜we,ā€™ Sophie corrected. WE are going to fix this.ā€ Speak of the devil. Here comes a forced consolation scene. Also the fact that Keefe still believes heā€™s going to fix everything by himself shows he learned absolutely nothing from his mistakes. Itā€™s Keefe, so why am I surprised that heā€™s gotten zero character development?
ā€œDoes that mean you donā€™t hate me? Keefe asked. His mental tone sounded softerā€”almost timid. [Sophie] I told you, Iā€™m never going to hate you, Keefe. [Keefe] But I keep giving you new reasons to change your mind. [Sophie] Yeah, you really need to stop that. She offered him half a smile, and he gave her the same when she added, But weā€™re in this together.ā€ Wow, Shannon didnā€™t even take that long to dive into a whole mess of a forced consolation scene, complete with a trademark ā€œDonā€™t hate me, pleaseā€. Again, it makes no sense why Keefe thinks Sophie would hate him. Sheā€™s talking to him, isnā€™t she? And she never stopped. She isnā€™t mad at him and she doesnā€™t hate him, and thatā€™s plainly obvious to anyone with a brain. But how else is Shannon going to milk the drama for all itā€™s worth, if not by repeating the same conversation over and over and making her characters look dumb in the process?
[cut because character limit]
ā€œSophie fussed with her jeweled sleevesā€”which matched the emeralds lining the knee-high boots sheā€™d slipped over her lacy gray leggings. Biana had frustratingly pointed out that elaborate clothes would do a better job of disguising her gloves, so Sophie was trying to force herself to get used to wearing glitter and frills. Keefeā€™s lips tilted into his famous smirk as he crossed the room to stand closer. ā€˜I meant that as a compliment, Foster. Sparkles look good on you. So does the new hairdo.ā€™ā€ I know this is a (very annoying, very harmful) trope in fiction, but the fact that Sophie is visibly uncomfortable wearing fancy clothes, and Keefe's only response is to be like ā€œWell, it looks good!ā€ is so objectifying and degrading. It shows that he doesnā€™t particularly care about her feelings or comfort, only the way she looks to him. I get that itā€™s a trope, but most things about Keefe that Iā€™m criticizing are tropes, so.Ā 
ā€œHe reached up, his fingers skating gently along the edge of the intricate braid weaving through the front part of her hair.ā€ Possibly Keefeā€™s most creepy trait is the way he just . . . randomly touches Sophie. Like completely out of the blue. Heā€™ll just touch her face or hair, which is so strange. Like that isnā€™t normal, and you shouldnā€™t be touching someone there without explicit permission. Especially not in such a . . . implicative way.
ā€œā€˜If youā€™re trying to impress me, itā€™s working,ā€™ he told her, and she felt her cheeks warmā€”until he added, ā€˜But, you always impress me, so maybe you were thinking of someone else?ā€™ā€ What makes him think sheā€™s dressing up for him specifically, or even for someone else? Thatā€™s such an arrogant assumption to make. As if everything Sophie does out of the ordinary must immediately be for him or some other guy. Also, if Sophie and Keefe are so close, why doesn't he know about her plan to dress up to hide her gloves?
ā€œSomehow heā€™d moved closer, and Sophieā€™s throat went dry as he reached up and touched her braid again.ā€ Keefe sure invades Sophieā€™s personal space a lot in this scene. Thatā€™s not romantic, by the way. Itā€™s creepy and possessive.
ā€œā€˜[ . . . ] and while Iā€™m sure you and the Fitzster wonā€™t mind the excuse to stare into each otherā€™s eyesā€”ā€™ ā€˜Itā€™s called Cognate training,ā€™ Sophie corrected. ā€˜And thatā€™s not what we do.ā€™ ā€˜Keep telling yourself that.ā€™ Sophie ignored him.ā€ Again, Shannon making the same joke over and over again isnā€™t going to make it funnier. Also, Keefe is once again annoying Sophie because he thinks itā€™s funny and cool. Sophie having to ignore him shows that she doesnā€™t want to talk about it.
ā€œā€˜And yeah, sheā€™s fooled me in the past. But Iā€™ve had a lot of time to think about things, and Iā€™m pretty sure Iā€™ve figured her out.ā€™ā€ Youā€™d think that Keefe would learn not to underestimate a Neverseen member from his double agent catastrophe (and he did, canonically), but of course, Shannon now needs to undo all his (small bit of) character development so he can make the same mistakes over and over. He is so stupid. And arrogant. And so many other things. If he thinks he can outsmart his mom, whoā€™s been playing the long game this entire time, without a care or thought in even the vaguest direction of a plan, then I donā€™t even know what to say. And his use of the words ā€œIā€ and ā€œmeā€ prove that he still thinks he can do this all himself. With no input from anyone else. So tell me, where exactly is his development from his failed double agent disaster?
ā€œā€˜Pretty sure?ā€™ Sophie repeated. ā€˜You want to risk everything on pretty sure?ā€™ ā€˜The only thing Iā€™m risking is me.ā€™ ā€˜Which is way more than Iā€™m willing to lose.ā€™ā€ Again, Keefe doesnā€™t care about anyoneā€™s feelings about a plan except his. He only wants to barrel his way through life and heā€™ll do what he believes is the best thing for everyone, regardless of whether or not everyone else agrees. His constant need to risk himself is tiring and repetitive. When is he going to change and grow? Itā€™s also incredibly selfish. He knows how that will affect his friends and loved ones, especially Sophie. And yet, he still wants to do it anyway.Ā 
[cut because character limit]
ā€œā€˜Keefe snorted. ā€œIā€™m betting Bangs Boy wonā€™t.ā€™ ā€˜Well, maybe he would if youā€™d stop calling him Bangs Boy.ā€™ ā€˜Yeah, but thatā€™s never going to happen.ā€™ā€ Shannon once again makes a pathetic attempt to create this narrative that Keefe and Tam have this mutual dislike of each other and itā€™s funny because theyā€™re similar and this and that and the other. Again, no, the ā€œrivalryā€ started when Keefe got jealous of Tam because he saw Tam as competition over Sophie. And Tam doesnā€™t even hate Keefe. He just finds him an excruciating nuisance. Which he is.
ā€œā€˜Sorry, Gigantor,ā€™ he said through gritted teeth as he scrambled to the other side of the room. ā€˜Foolish is my specialty.ā€™ā€ Keefe displays a resistance to valuable character development and change, almost as if Shannon heard complaints about Keefeā€™s lack of development and doubled down on it, but none is as bad as this book gets it. Keefe adamantly states that ā€œFoolish is [his] specialtyā€, as if that justifies his actions, and talks about being stupid as if itā€™s just a quirky little personality trait, not a flaw he needs to work on and fix. Itā€™s not a flex. Itā€™s something that he needs to fix, and as soon as possible, too. He canā€™t just keep being stupid and, when confronted, say ā€œWell, thatā€™s just how I am, so youā€™ll have to deal with itā€. That is so selfish, I canā€™t even process it. He displays such a resistance to change, such an arrogant attitude toward himself where he thinks heā€™s fine the way he is, that even though he actively puts people in danger, he doesnā€™t see a need to work on himself.
ā€œā€˜Iā€™m all good now, Foster. Unless you want to try kissing it to make it better.ā€™ā€ Have some more hideously horrific Keefe-style flirtation.
ā€œā€˜Unleash the lecture! Here, Iā€™ll even start it for you.ā€™ His voice shifted up to an uncanny impersonation of hers. ā€˜How dare you ambush me, Keefe? I donā€™t care if youā€™re the most gorgeous guy Iā€™ve ever seenā€”WAY better looking than other guys with their dimples or weirdly teal eyes. You had no right to show up and surprise me like that!ā€™ā€ Keefe just canā€™t stop bashing Fitz or Dex, can he? Heā€™s so possessive that he actively brings down his supposed friends in his quest to gain Sophieā€™s attention and approval. Tell me, if heā€™s really meant to end up with Sophie, why does he act so insecure about her friendships with other guys? And the fact that heā€™s treating a very serious issue like a joke shows, once again, that he cannot be serious. He canā€™t think about other people for even a millisecond if it means going against his own wishes. And when itā€™s all over, all he wants to do is joke about it and hope that calms the other person down so he wonā€™t have to face the consequences of his actions. Itā€™s really quite manipulative, if you think about it. Means that he can distract the other person from the fact that he disregarded them and brush it all under the rug.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Donā€™t I at least get points for not hailing her by myself, making the deal alone, and running off to Ravagog without you?ā€™ā€ No, because he still forced his own plan onto Sophie and didnā€™t care about her opinion at all, despite the fact that apparently theyā€™re a team. Remember, Sophie did not have a say in any of this.Ā 
ā€œā€˜I didnā€™t want you hesitating because of me, so I thought Iā€™d make the hard decision for youā€”but everything after that was up to you.ā€™ā€ There is no good justification for taking someoneā€™s choice away from them, and the fact that ā€œeverything after thatā€ was ā€œup toā€ Sophie is irrelevant, because sheā€™d already been forced into a course of action she didnā€™t believe was correct.
[cut because character limit]
ā€œā€˜Or maybe youā€™d rather I put my incredible Empath talents to work and help you solve the complicated square youā€™re always telling yourself is a triangle?ā€™ā€ More cringy humor thatā€™s Shannon's horrible attempt to be self-aware in her own story, featuring the literal use of the word square and triangle with regards to Sophieā€™s love life.
ā€œā€˜Come on, Foster, admit itā€”that was pretty clever.ā€™ā€ There is nobody on the face of this planet that brags as much as Keefe does when he pulls one tiny, slightly smart thing.
ā€œā€˜Did the Mysterious Miss F. just agree that Iā€™m a genius? Because thatā€™s what I heard! And itā€™s filled my heart with all the warmest, softest fuzzies.ā€™ā€ This quote is only a couple pages after the one before and oh, boy. Keefe really canā€™t stop patting himself on the back for a single good idea. I wonder where that comes from . . . maybe that arrogance I was talking about . . .Ā 
ā€œā€˜But whatever it takes, itā€™s going to happen. Do you know why?ā€™ When she didnā€™t answer, he took both of her hands, and she couldnā€™t ignore the rush of warmth that tingled through her when she met his eyes. There was no teasing glint to be found. Just pure determination when he told her, ā€˜Because Team Foster-Keefe is going to win.ā€™ā€ Shannonā€™s ability to cram forced consolation scenes into just a few lines is truly astounding. First of all, this is incredibly cringy. Iā€™m sorry, but itā€™s true. Keefeā€™s dialogue has never been so horrifically embarrassing to read. Also, the way he just randomly grabs her hands and stares into her eyes is so weird and so forced. Isnā€™t that what heā€™s always making fun of Sophie and Fitz for? At least they have a good reason. So that also makes him a hypocrite.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Just the usual,ā€™ Keefe told him. ā€˜Fosterā€™s going on and on and on about how she canā€™t live without me. Itā€™s really quite exhausting.ā€™ā€ Keefeā€™s flirting is at its worst in this book. Itā€™s genuinely so bad, I canā€™t understand how it can be mistaken for charming or funny.Ā 
ā€œā€˜His idea of excitement is when he changes the way he parts his hair.ā€™ā€ More examples of Keefe tearing people down using his jokes, even if itā€™s subtle.
ā€œā€˜Maybe not run off and join the enemy?ā€™ Fitz suggested. The words were like a record scratch, screeching everyone into awkward silence. This was the first time theyā€™d all been together since Keefeā€™s betrayal. Keefe cleared his throat. ā€˜Yeah . . . so . . . about that.ā€™ā€ Keefe only apologizes because Fitz brings it up. He never wouldā€™ve done it without that. He doesnā€™t bring it up himself, so it doesnā€™t really mean much. Yes, Sophie tries to tell him he doesnā€™t have to apologize and he still does it, but he wouldnā€™t have without Fitz bringing up how he ran away.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Iā€™m sorry. I know you think Iā€™m an idiot for running off. And . . . I guess I am. I thought the fact that my mom had built something she called my ā€œlegacyā€ meant that I was valuable enough to the Neverseen that theyā€™d bring me in on all their plans and I could find a way to stop them. But it turns out Iā€™m worthless.ā€™ā€ Heā€™s not worthless, heā€™s stupid. And the wording of this is very intentional on Shannonā€™s part. Itā€™s intentionally worded to attract pity and sympathy. Itā€™s poor Keefe again, being called worthless again, oh, we should all go and feel sorry for him now. He is such a pity magnet. And he didnā€™t even apologize for the right thing. He apologizes for being stupid, sure, but he never apologizes for disregarding everyoneā€™s feelings and ideas and forcing his own plan into action without consulting others. He never apologizes for not considering othersā€™ feelings. Itā€™s all just me, me, me with him.Ā 
[cut because character limit]
ā€œā€˜No, youā€™re not.ā€™ Surprisingly, the words came from Tam. ā€˜Having a family like yours messes with your head,ā€™ he added, tugging his bangs over his eyes. ā€˜I know how that goes. You still made a bad callā€”or lots of bad calls, actually. But . . . if you donā€™t do it again, weā€™re cool.ā€™ā€ Oh, and it works! The next line is Tam telling him that itā€™s not his fault, because his familyā€™s bad! That doesnā€™t change the fact that Keefe made a decision to not tell anyone what he was planning, deciding to compromise several key pieces of intel so he could get back something he gave away, and generally be very arrogant. He didnā€™t consult or talk with anybody about it. Yes, Tam acknowledges that Keefe made ā€œbad callsā€, but whereā€™s the mention of Keefeā€™s utter disregard for ideas that arenā€™t his?
ā€œā€˜The only reason Iā€™m including Keefe is because his mom seems to want him involved. Why else would she insist we contact her with his blood?ā€™ ā€˜Plus, yā€™know, Foster canā€™t live without me,ā€™ Keefe added. ā€˜Donā€™t make me smack you,ā€™ Sophie warned. Keefe smirked. ā€˜Iā€™d like to see you try.ā€™ā€ First of all, Sophieā€™s reasoning is chock full of logical fallacies. Yes, Keefeā€™s mother wants him to be involved, but why does that mean he, in particular, needs to go to Ravagog? They have no information at this point that says that he needs to be the one to go. And why should they listen to Keefeā€™s mom anyway? They donā€™t trust her. Also, Keefe annoys Sophie on purpose once again, and his annoying flirting gets even worse. Also, Shannon insists on making the same joke over and over, but this time, the last time he made that joke was less than a chapter ago, so itā€™s even more annoying.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Should we take bets on how many stairs Foster makes it up before she trips?ā€™ Keefe asked. ā€˜I say sheā€™ll lose it on the sixth step.ā€™ā€ Who. Wrote this??? Itā€™s genuinely so bad. I swear, almost everything Keefe says in this book is top tier cringe.
ā€œHe snickered. ā€˜At least this proves I know you better than the Fitzster.ā€™ ā€˜No, itā€™s that I have more faith in her,ā€ Fitz corrected. ā€œThatā€™s what being Cognates means.ā€™ ā€˜And yet, I seem to remember Foster hiding some sort of important secret from you during your trust exercises. Did something change while I was gone, or . . . ?ā€™ā€ Keefe is so weirdly possessive of Sophie. He acts like every single thing is this ridiculous tug-of-war over her with Fitz. He never passes up an opportunity to take shots at Fitz, his supposed best friend. Also, guessing when someone will trip is pure chance. That doesnā€™t show any sort of bond at all. Iā€™m going to interpret that as a joke, because thereā€™s no way even Keefe is stupid enough to believe that. He prods at Sophie and Fitzā€™s weak spots (the secret), like heā€™s hoping it will unravel. All he cares about is putting down Sophie and Fitzā€™s cognate relationship and bolstering his own relationship with Sophie. Itā€™s such a disgusting yet subtle thing to do. Honestly, if Shannon had handled Keefe better, he couldā€™ve been a character that could be used to teach kids about subtly manipulative and toxic relationships.
ā€œā€˜Ugh, anyone else ready to vomit from the Fitzphie?ā€™ Keefe asked. ā€˜I am,ā€™ Dex said, as Linh asked, ā€˜Did Fitzphie become an actual thing?ā€™ ā€˜I donā€™t even know what ā€œFitzphieā€ is supposed to mean,ā€™ Tiergan noted. ā€˜Want me to explain it?ā€™ Tam offered.ā€ Seriously. Who wrote this. Shannon. What. What is this. The excessive use of in-story ship names is atrocious, but Shannon decides to double down on it. Leaving that aside, Keefe expresses a desire to ā€œvomit from the Fitzphieā€. Tell me thatā€™s not possessiveness. Keefe is such an atrocious, toxic friend, and Shannon really cranks it up to eleven in this book. All he does is whine about how close Fitz and Sophie are, tear their cognate relationship down, claim his relationship to Sophie is better, and generally act very possessive of Sophie.
[cut because character limit]
ā€œā€˜Ugh, score one for Fitzphie,ā€™ Keefe mumbled.ā€ Here, we see Keefe literally track points as if Sophie is a game he needs to win against Fitz (his ā€œbest friendā€). All Keefe does is act jealous of Fitz and Sophie because he selfishly wants to be with Sophie. His constant whining is so annoying and again, Shannon use of ship names in-book is the most cringy, appalling move Iā€™ve seen her make.
ā€œā€˜I know! Our little girl is growing up and getting so snarky!ā€™ Keefe pretended to wipe his teary eyes. ā€˜Iā€™ve never been so proud.ā€™ā€ ā€œOur little girlā€ . . . that totally isnā€™t creepy or infantilizing at all. The way Keefe talks about Sophie here is genuinely so gross, even if it is a joke.Ā 
ā€œā€˜We still do,ā€™ Sophie argued. ā€˜We just have a lot going on.ā€™ ā€˜And yet I sure seem to see a lot of Keefe these days. . . .ā€™ā€ Heā€™s not wrong, Sophie. You kinda, sorta neglect everyone thatā€™s not Keefe. Itā€™s annoying how much attention he gets when heā€™s not even the main character.
ā€œKeefe spotted the crush cuffs about ten seconds after he got to Havenfield the next morningā€”despite the long-sleeved tunic Sophie had worn to keep them covered. And he dragged out the rest of the story with a relentless bombardment of questions.ā€ Can Keefe keep his nose out of Sophieā€™s personal business for even a minute??? The ā€œdraggedā€ here is very telling: Sophie would not have chosen to tell Keefe all this of her own free will. He bombards her with questions, and so she tells him, not because she wants to, but because she knows that he wonā€™t shut up until he has the full story. This is Sophieā€™s secret. Sophieā€™s business (and Dexā€™s). Keefe has no right to ask about the cuffs at all. The fact that he ā€œretelentless[ly]ā€ asked her questions until she was forced to tell him the entire story is not a good thing. It does not demonstrate trust, but quite the opposite: a breach of personal boundaries. Keefe is so toxic, I honestly find it impressive how Shannon has twisted him into a seemingly perfect-angel love interest.Ā Ā 
ā€œā€˜In his head, he wanted the Dexphie ship to set sail so badly that he kept fighting for it, even when he got some pretty clear signals that he was bound for a crash.ā€™ā€ Iā€™m sure you can guess my feelings about the use of the word ā€œshipā€ in-story with regards to romantic ships. Shannon really needs to stop making Keefe act like heā€™s outside of the story observing it like the audience is. Itā€™s just. Too cringe.Ā 
ā€œKeefe smirked. ā€˜So thatā€™s what kept you up tossing and turning? Wondering if Iā€™ve registered for the match?ā€™ ā€˜Ugh, thatā€™s so not what I was saying.ā€™ ā€˜Suuuuuuurrrrre it wasnā€™t.ā€™ā€ Keefe once again annoys Sophie just because he thinks itā€™s funny. Also, thank everything thatā€™s holy for e-books. I would not have looked forward to typing that whole word out by hand.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Everything?ā€™ Keefe asked. ā€˜Even . . . ā€™ He made an obnoxiously loud kissing sound. Sophie shoved him away.ā€ Keefeā€™s horrific flirting is even cringier than normal in this scene. Nobody talks like this. And his favorite pastime of annoying Sophie comes around again.
ā€œBut then he leaned back and added, ā€˜I have way too much fun annoying you.ā€™ Sophie sighed. ā€˜That does seem to be one of your talents.ā€™ ā€˜And you adore me for it. In fact, maybe we should find out if weā€™re meant to be.ā€™ He puckered his lips and Sophie shoved him a little harder that time.ā€ Keefe blatantly admits that he loves to annoy Sophie. Annoying someone is not the basis for a good relationship. What are Keefe and Sophie even going to talk about once the Neverseen are defeated? Itā€™ll just be Keefe annoying Sophie and Sophie acting annoyed, and Shannon pretending thatā€™s romantic. And the part where Keefe says Sophie ā€œadore[s] [him]ā€ for annoying her??? What??? There are several points in the story where itā€™s clear that this isnā€™t true (and Iā€™ve pointed out all of them, hopefully). Nobody likes being annoyed. Especially not on the regular and especially not when thatā€™s Keefeā€™s only real personality trait. Put this all together with some of Keefeā€™s heinous flirting, and you get the recipe for a perfectly cringy scene.Ā 
[cut because character limit]
ā€œā€˜Do you realize that thanks to you, sweet, innocent little Dex has now kissed someone before I have? And you too?ā€™ā€ Itā€™s not a competition, Keefe. Geez. Also, wow he really thinks that because heā€™s a ā€œcool prankster rebellious bad boyā€, he should be the first one to get a kiss??? Thatā€™s what the ā€œsweet, innocent little Dexā€ comment is telling me. Does Keefe really, actually think in stereotypes???
ā€œā€˜I realize itā€™s hard to believe, considering . . . ā€™ He waved his arm in front of himself, like his looks said it all. ā€˜Donā€™t get me wrongā€”Iā€™ve had plenty of offers, but . . . ā€™ā€ Kill me now. This is a fantastically cringy line, complete with Keefeā€™s cringy tendency to draw attention to his looks. We get it. You look good. It doesnā€™t need to be your entire personality.Ā 
ā€œā€˜How about I steal the Fitzsterā€™s match packet for you?ā€™ Keefe suggested.ā€ I hope that wasnā€™t a serious suggestion. Genuinely. But Keefe is such a shitty friend, I think he wouldā€™ve done it if Sophie had wanted him to. Heā€™s willing to steal a very personal document and give it to someone Fitz doesnā€™t want to see it. You know. Just because.
ā€œā€˜Am I supposed to see this as bravery?ā€™ Dimitar asked him. ā€˜The arrogant young elf lord who dares to taunt me?ā€™ ā€˜Psh, like the Council would ever make me a lord,ā€ Keefe snorted. ā€œThough, Lord Keefe does have a nice ring to it.ā€™ā€ Who responds like that to that sort of question??? Keefe was accused of arrogance by a king that has something he desperately needs and his response is literally just make jokes. More evidence that he canā€™t be serious even when the time calls for it.
ā€œā€˜Thatā€™s not what we agreed on!ā€™ Sophie snapped. ā€˜Maybe not. But Iā€™m not going to let you face any consequences for this.ā€™ Keefe slipped his momā€™s scroll from his pocket and Sophie felt her jaw fall, wondering when heā€™d stolen it from her.ā€ I think you know what Iā€™m going to say, because Iā€™ve said it a million times already: Keefe doesnā€™t care about Sophieā€™s feelings or input, he hijacks their shared plan for his own, he steals from her, blah, blah, blah. But you might be thinking, Wait, but Sophie does get mad at Keefe this time and does hold him accountable this time. He actually learns and grows! And you would be partially correct. But not completely. So this quote is mostly here because Iā€™ll refer back to it later. Iā€™ll write it in red so you can find it easier.Ā 
ā€œā€˜That was an incredibly dangerous move,ā€™ Lady Cadence told Keefe, blocking him from following the ogre king. ā€˜Oh, you want to talk about dangerous?ā€™ he asked. ā€˜How about the part when you almost started a brawl with King Dimitar? You were supposed to be the person at this meeting that he actually likesā€”thatā€™s why we brought you!ā€™ā€ The two scenarios are not even remotely comparable. Keefe acted irrationally, with no inkling as to how Dimitar would react. He didnā€™t know what would happen, and he clearly planned this all in advance, even though he knew it was dangerous. Lady Cadence simply pointed out a breach in trust in her relationship with King Dimitar and told him she didnā€™t appreciate it. She knows Dimitar and considers him a friend, so she knew she wasnā€™t in any real danger from him. The idea that she ā€œalmost started a brawlā€ with the king is a complete exaggeration. She also wasnā€™t planning on having that conversation, it simply came up.
ā€œā€˜And you can hate me if you want. But I made a promise when I found out my mom was with the Neverseenā€”she only gets to hurt me. Itā€™s the only way I can live with myself.ā€™ā€ How noble. Except it gives him a convenient excuse to play the hero and ruin a group-made plan in favor of his own because of his own arrogance and overconfidence. So, not so noble.Ā 
ā€œKeefe grinned. ā€˜You really are adorable when you worry. But you donā€™t need to. I wouldnā€™t have agreed if I didnā€™t know I can handle it. See?ā€™ He pulled his hands free and showed her how steady they were.ā€ More of Keefeā€™s infantilization of Sophie! Yay! And if he really thinks he can handle it, heā€™s a massive idiot. A massive, arrogant idiot.
[cut because character limit]
ā€œHis motions were somehow both sluggish and erratic, and when he tried to pivot, the weapon slipped from his grasp.ā€ And here is where we need to talk less about Keefe as a person and more about the way heā€™s written. Here, itā€™s explicitly stated that Keefe is terrible with a blade. Makes sense, heā€™s never handled one before. But, as we know, heā€™s about to defeat the ogre king in a sparring match. Keefe largely uses his skills in the match, but in terms of plot, it still makes no sense that heā€™d be able to defeat the king of a species whose entire culture is based around fighting and war. Yes, heā€™s trained in his skills extensively, but heā€™s never actually used them in a spar like this. Thereā€™s so much more to battle besides simply throwing everything youā€™ve got at your opponent. Dimitar should be able to predict what Keefeā€™s going to do next, even if Keefe tries a sneak attack, because Keefeā€™s never learned to hide that and never learned how to disguise his next move. Dimitar should be able to wear Keefe out so much that he doesnā€™t have the energy to use his skills anymore, because Keefeā€™s never learned how to conserve energy in a useful manner during a battle and never learned how to make every single strike count. Dimitar should be able to take Keefe down in a single strike, because Dimitar should know where the bodyā€™s weak spots are and how to cause the most pain with the least effort, which Keefe doesnā€™t know. So, no, Keefe simply using his skills should not be enough to defeat Dimitar when he has nothing else in his arsenal. And this is all to say: the point of this sparring match is to make Keefe look a hero. Even if it makes no sense. Keefe is written to be triumphant in this scene. Itā€™s plot convenience at its finest. Shannon loves to do this with Keefe, where sheā€™ll make him have some ability he realistically wouldnā€™t have because she needs him to be somewhat badass to uphold his ā€œbad boyā€ image.Ā 
ā€œā€˜The grip on that oneā€™s faulty,ā€™ Keefe mumbled, kicking the weapon aside and snatching a dagger with a palm-length blade. ā€˜This one looks perfect for sneak attacks.ā€™ ā€˜You canā€™t sneak up on him in an open ring,ā€™ Sophie argued.ā€ More evidence of Keefe just straight-up being incompetent when it comes to fighting. Which is fine by itself. But he canā€™t be incompetent at fighting and also win a sparring match against the king of a species known for their legendary fighting skills. Again, this scene is a massive example of plot convenience to make a character look good. It shows how Shannon favors Keefe. Honestly, he shouldā€™ve just lost the sparring match. Wouldā€™ve made the scene more interesting, and mightā€™ve given Sophie, the main character, a chance to shine by quickly improvising a way to talk King Dimitar into giving up the starstone anyway. It mightā€™ve also curbed Keefeā€™s ego, though I doubt it.Ā 
ā€œā€˜The only loss will be yours!ā€™ Keefe sidestepped Sophie and charged into the ring, dagger raised, eyes wild, leaping for the ogre king.ā€ Another example of Keefeā€™s straight-up stupidity.Ā 
ā€œā€˜There you are,ā€™ Keefe whispered, his breath warm on her cheeks. ā€˜Youā€™re good now, right?ā€™ā€ Keefe stop breathing all over Sophieā€™s face challenge.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Iā€™ve never been so proud of us!ā€™ Keefe said, holding up his hand for a high five.ā€ Iā€™d just like you to remember that Keefe can feel Sophieā€™s emotions. He knows how angry she is at him right now. And his immediate reaction is to try to joke his way out of it instead of treating it seriously until heā€™s forced to by Sophie. He literally tries to dumb this down and make it seem like itā€™s not as bad as it is so that Sophie wonā€™t be mad at him. It doesnā€™t work, but itā€™s an incredibly manipulative thing to do.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Awww, my girl keeps getting snarkier and snarkier,ā€™ Keefe said proudly. ā€˜Iā€™m not your girl,ā€™ Sophie snapped back. ā€˜And donā€™t think Iā€™m done being mad at you!ā€™ā€ Keefe calling Sophie ā€œmy girlā€ is a form of infantilization, because he obviously doesnā€™t mean ā€œmy girlfriendā€. Thankfully he gets called out on it. This time.Ā 
[cut because character limit]
ā€œFosterā€™s not ready to face her feelings,ā€™ Keefe stage-whispered. ā€˜Iā€™m ready to strangle you,ā€™ Sophie countered.ā€ Keefeā€™s joking here (and in the process annoying Sophie, but what else is new), but the implication is obviously that Sophieā€™s too scared of her feelings to face them and that she needs Keefe to swoop in and decipher them for her. Her own feelings. Do you see how that might not be the best thing to say, Keefe? Do you? Even if someone is wrong about their own feelings, thatā€™s their prerogative. Itā€™s always their choice of whether or not they want to face their own feelings or not.
ā€œā€˜Maybe youā€™ll finally knock some sense into him.ā€™ ā€˜I doubt it.ā€™ Keefe winked, but Sophie looked away.ā€ More of Keefe acting like his stupidity is just a quirky little trait instead of a flaw that could cost him or someone else their life. Being stupid is not a personality trait. Itā€™s a flaw. He needs to stop treating being stupid like itā€™s this innate trait thatā€™s just a part of who he is. Itā€™s not.
ā€œā€˜Iā€™m guessing at least a week. Maybe more.ā€™ ā€˜Yeah, thatā€™s not happening,ā€™ Keefe told him. ā€˜Youā€™ll regret it if you donā€™t,ā€™ Elwin warned. ā€˜Play this smart and the most youā€™ll have is a thin scar. But if youā€™re not careful, you could end up with nerve damage.ā€™ā€ Is Keefe really so stupid that heā€™s going to choose to have permanent damage because he wonā€™t bed rest for a week of his life? This is. I canā€™t even.
ā€œā€˜That depends on what my mom tells us,ā€ Keefe argued. ā€œIf weā€™re heading straight to Nightfallā€”ā€™ ā€˜Youā€™re not going to Nightfall,ā€™ Sophie interrupted. ā€˜Youā€™re doing bed rest until Elwin says youā€™re better.ā€™ Keefe smirked. ā€˜Itā€™s cute that you think that.ā€™ā€ Why does Keefe need to be so stubborn about everything? Even this??? He literally throws away a perfectly smart thing to do with no drawbacks because . . . he wants to be with Sophie when she goes to Nightfall. Thatā€™s it. Again, he pedestalizes Sophie to such an extent that it makes him stupid.Ā 
ā€œKeefe wrapped his arm around Sophie. ā€˜Foster gets all worked up when sheā€™s trying to protect me.ā€™ ā€˜Thatā€™s not what this is about!ā€™ Sophie snapped, pulling away.ā€ Keefe literally tries to flirt his way out of Sophieā€™s anger, with a dash of infantilization thrown in for funsies.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Though would it kill you to do the smart thing, just once, and actually listen to someone when theyā€™re giving you good advice, instead of thinking you know everything and doing whatever you want?ā€™ Keefe considered that for a second. ā€˜Yeah, that might actually kill me.ā€™ā€ I seriously have no words. Keefe literally admitted that heā€™s stubborn to an excruciating extent, stupid, and arrogant, and he doesnā€™t see a problem with that at all. He genuinely just believes that they're innate parts of him, not flaws.Ā 
ā€œSophie couldnā€™t look at Keefe after that. She didnā€™t want to see the hurt in his eyes as she dug out her home crystal.ā€ If heā€™s hurting in this scene, then he deserves to be hurting. All heā€™s done is do stupid stuff and hijack everything without consideration for other people. So, yeah. He deserves it.Ā 
ā€œā€˜In case you need help deciding, Iā€™d go with the part of you that wants to run over here for an epic Team Foster-Keefe hugfest, and not the part that wants to rip off my arms and smack me with them.ā€™ā€ Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. Starting in this book, Shannon uses the suffix ā€œfestā€ incessantly, and doesnā€™t stop. Itā€™s such a terrible choice that while itā€™s cringy the first few times, it quickly becomes unbearable as she keeps doing it. And Keefe gets it the worst.
[cut because character limit]
ā€œā€˜Iā€™ve also been eavesdropping outsideā€”plus, Forkle hailed me this morning and caught me up on everything thatā€™s been happening. So I already know about the giant beast things my mom made, and how we have a drugged Alvar in custody, and how all that boring stuff from Lady Cadenceā€™s report about bacteria turned out to have something to do with flowers, and how thereā€™s apparently another Nightfall in Atlantis thatā€™s not part of my legacy, and thatā€™s where we need to go to get your parents. Oh, and my mom wants us to steal from it and destroy itā€”which totally kills the fun, but Iā€™m still game for blowing a Neverseen hideout off the planet.ā€™ā€ Another example of Shannon using Keefe as narration. Itā€™s like she doesnā€™t trust that her audience will follow the story, so she feels the need to recap it. But wait, thatā€™s boring! Itā€™s fine, just have a ā€œā€œā€œā€œā€œā€œhumorousā€ā€ā€ā€ā€ā€ character do it! Itā€™s a trick a lot of writers do when they think their audience is stupid, or they think what they wrote is too convoluted and want to make sure their audience has it straight. Itā€™s also something authors do to pat themselves on the back, like, See? I wrote all that. And you just spent the last third of the book reading all that. Now, appreciate how much work I put in. Iā€™m not saying Shannon doesnā€™t deserve praise for that plotline, and I genuinely think it's good, but I canā€™t stand it when she uses Keefe as a summary or narration gimmick. She couldā€™ve just had Keefe say ā€œI know everything I missedā€ and left it at that.
ā€œā€˜How much groveling am I going to have to do before you trust me again?ā€™ā€ Keefe shouldnā€™t have to ā€œgrovelā€ to regain Sophieā€™s trust. Groveling is just words, no action. To regain trust, heā€™s going to have to prove that he wonā€™t hijack everything and take over again. This is why this particular arc (miniarc?) of Keefeā€™s makes no sense. He only goes through this development because Sophie was mad at him, not because he actually realizes something about himself. And then Sophie immediately trusts him again and lets him work with her on everything again without any period of time where sheā€™s suspicious of Keefe. What Iā€™m saying is, Keefeā€™s breach of Sophieā€™s trust never really impacts their relationship. They have a fight, immediately make up the very next time they see each other, and then itā€™s over and done. Thereā€™s no period of time where itā€™s still a sore spot. No work to get to a point where Sophie feels like she can really trust Keefe again. As a result, it falls completely flat because Keefe didnā€™t earn anything. He just apologized and thatā€™s it. But that shouldnā€™t be it. He should have a long way to go from now. An apology is just the start. Sophie shouldnā€™t forgive instantly. It just feels so cheap. It really shows how Shannon just wants a quick fix to Keefeā€™s problems instead of a real arc with real character development.Ā 
[cut because character limit]
ā€œā€˜Iā€™m sorry, Sophie. Really. And Iā€™ll do whatever it takes to make it up to you. Thatā€™s why I stayed in bed, even though I knew my mom had to be dragging you into a million dangerous things. I wanted to prove that I could do the right thing. Well, that and Ro threatened to tie me down and cover me in flesh-eating bacteria if I didnā€™t, and I could tell she meant it.ā€™ā€ Keefe says that he stayed in bed because Sophie wouldā€™ve wanted him to and because he wanted to ā€œdo the right thingā€. Thatā€™s . . . not what his motive shouldā€™ve been. His intention shouldā€™ve been to get stronger and heal. Thatā€™s it. There should be none of this nonsense about ā€œdoing it for Sophieā€ or ā€œdoing the right thingā€. He should want to get better so that he doesnā€™t have permanent damage. Again, his weird obsession with impressing Sophie and doing whatever he thinks sheā€™ll want is showing through, and had Shannon been a better author, she couldā€™ve made it a flaw and related it back to his abusive parents and how heā€™s always craving attention because he never got enough from them or something. But instead, itā€™s hailed as a great quality. So, remember when I said Iā€™d refer back to that quote I wrote in red? This quote is a primary example that, while he does apologize to Sophie, he doesnā€™t actually change from this incident. There are several moments down the line where you will see that Keefe still hijacks plans and still disregards Sophieā€™s feelings. An apology, sure, but thereā€™s no actual growth. (Iā€™ll put this quote in red too, so itā€™s easy to see that these two things Iā€™m bringing up are connected into one big point.) So to people making the argument that Keefe was finally held accountable and developed from this whole thing, I hate to say it, but Keefe is just as infuriatingly arrogant as before.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Because you can be wrong and still smarter than these guys,ā€™ Keefe told her with a grin.ā€ Ah, Keefeā€™s arrogance never fails to make me cringe practically out of my body. Maybe if he was more open-minded, we wouldnā€™t have to deal with his stupidity.
ā€œā€˜So maybe you do it wrong,ā€™ Tam suggested. ā€˜Itā€™s a puzzle,ā€™ Keefe argued. ā€˜The pieces should only fit together one way.ā€™ā€ Keefe is so stupid that he literally tries to claim that the ā€œpieces should only fit together one wayā€ after just having seen evidence to the contrary. Literally, Iā€™m not kidding, Sophie just put the puzzle together differently than him like two seconds ago and he says this. I knew he was arrogant, but damn. Canā€™t Shannon tone it down a little to at least try to make it seem like she gave Keefe actual development?
ā€œā€˜She probably thinks Iā€™m too dumb to put the key together the right way.ā€™ā€ This logic is so stupid. Even if Keefe was dumb enough to not be able to put it together, itā€™s not like he works alone. Someone in the Black Swan or something wouldā€™ve figured it out. And his mom knows that. His entire argument here makes no sense.
ā€œHe reached up and wiped one of the tears trickling down her cheeks.ā€ Another weird example of Keefe touching Sophieā€™s face. Itā€™s quite creepy, and itā€™s strange how Shannon tries to make it seem touching.
[cut because character limit]
ā€œā€˜Okay, two choices,ā€™ Keefe told her, standing up and tilting her chin toward him. ā€˜You can tell me whatā€™s wrong. Or I can put my Empath powers to workā€”but keep in mind, Option B will likely pick up on all kinds of other feelings.ā€™ Sophie gave him her surliest scowl, but he didnā€™t back down.ā€ First of all, hereā€™s another example of Keefe touching Sophieā€™s face creepily. Secondly, Keefe just extorted Sophieā€™s personal feelings out of her. He just threatened to use his empathy on her if she didnā€™t tell him what was going on. He then said that if she didnā€™t tell him the thing she obviously doesnā€™t want to tell him, heā€™d not only use his power on her and figure it out, but would also probably pick up on other things she doesnā€™t want him knowing about. Sophie then makes it very obvious that she doesnā€™t want to do it, but he ā€œdidnā€™t back downā€, by which Shannon of course means ā€œdidnā€™t respect Sophieā€™s feelings and her right to keep them to herselfā€. That is so. That is just. I donā€™t understand how Shannon somehow managed to twist this into Keefe caring about Sophie. He threatened, coerced, manipulated, and extorted her into telling him, sure, but caring about her??? Donā€™t make me laugh. Keefe is possibly the most toxic character in this entire series, and it is disgusting how Shannon gives the impression that this is caring behavior, or correct in any capacity at all. When someone wants to be left alone, you leave them alone. Keefe needs to go back to seventh grade health class, where they teach you that no means no.Ā 
ā€œā€˜I take it that means you havenā€™t joined Team Foster-Keefe?ā€™ Ro asked. ā€˜Because I have to admit, theyā€™re pretty cute together. Especially when she gets that look in her eye like sheā€™s going to tear off his head.ā€™ā€ Ro is . . . a whole other subject. But oh, god. Shannon. What are you doing. If someone consistently and constantly ā€œgets [a] lookā€ in their eye like theyā€™re ā€œgoing to tear offā€ the other personā€™s head, then thatā€™s a sign that that other person is annoying and that they donā€™t enjoy spending time together. The other person is obviously driving the first person crazy and enjoys it, so why would you encourage that??? Stop feeding into this narrative that thatā€™s a healthy thing to have. Itā€™s not. Itā€™s completely toxic for Keefe to take pleasure in annoying Sophie, and itā€™s disgusting that Sophie is just expected to put up with it.
ā€œā€˜Figured you guys would say that,ā€™ Keefe told them, ā€˜even though you canā€™t really stop us.ā€™ He winked at Sophie.ā€ Oh, boy. Shannonā€™s really leaning into Keefeā€™s ā€œbad-boyā€ persona, isnā€™t she? Someone needs to explain to her the level of cringe this invokes. Also, the winking is back. Wow, isnā€™t Keefe so cool. You know, cuz he winks at Sophie like they're in on a secret or something. Isnā€™t that so badass.
ā€œā€˜But I think youā€™re also forgetting, Foster, that weā€™ve managed to get a lot done when school is in session. We stopped the gnomish plague while going to Exilliumā€”and you managed to look into the Everblaze while juggling midterms. You even got your abilities fixedā€”and healed Aldenā€”during the first term this year.ā€™ā€ Shannon, please stop using Keefe as summary and narration. We know. We read the series. We donā€™t need you to recap it for us. Weā€™re well aware.
ā€œā€˜Youā€™re welcome for making it so you donā€™t have to stare at ten thousand reflections of yourself every day,ā€™ Keefe told him. Sophie elbowed Keefe as she sat beside him. ā€˜You donā€™t get to brag about leaving me covered in shattered glass.ā€™ā€ Keefe literally just joked about destroying Foxfire . . . wow. The audacity is. Just, wow. Sure, Sophie calls him out, but itā€™s very light-hearted. Again, Keefe is incapable of being serious, even when the topic or time calls for it.
[cut because character limit]
ā€œā€˜Much as Iā€™m enjoying this sudden overflow of adorable Foster-rageā€”itā€™s not worth it.ā€™ā€ Ah, more of Keefe infantilizing Sophie and invalidating her feelings. If someone finds your anger or worry ā€œadorableā€ and acts like itā€™s this cute little quirk, then thatā€™s never a good thing. Especially if they enjoy it. Someone who cares about you should never enjoy seeing you angry or worried.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Uh, we all know Foster canā€™t bear to be away from meā€”and art is about honesty. Thatā€™s why I made sure I have the best hair.ā€™ā€ Sometimes, I wonder how some of the shit Keefe says can even be real. How is he not collapsing from the cringe? Keep in mind, this is all taking place in front of a large audience.
ā€œā€˜Only for some people,ā€™ Biana noted. ā€˜He gave the rest of us mood candy. Again.ā€™ā€ Yes, because he only cares about Sophie and prioritizes her over everyone. He only cares about her feelings and her wishes. He doesnā€™t extend the same courtesy to anyone else. In other words, he pedastalizes Sophie to such an extent, it makes him blind to other peopleā€™s wishes. He has such tunnel vision, itā€™s funny. Heā€™s very neglectful of his other friends.
ā€œā€˜Iā€™m sure she didnā€™t. Thisā€™ā€”he traced a finger over the crease between her eyebrowsā€”ā€™doesnā€™t make you very convincing.ā€™ā€ Keefe really needs to stop touching Sophieā€™s face weirdly.
ā€œHe strode over to her, and she tried to back away but crashed into the wall.ā€ Ah, the infamous scene. Keefe once again invades Sophieā€™s personal space. He moves toward her, and when she tries to move away from him, he doesnā€™t let her move. Wow. Real upstanding guy. This is not romantic. This is creepy.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Oh, I know. But youā€™re forgetting something, Foster.ā€™ He was close enough to reach out and gently tuck her hair behind her ear as he leaned in to whisper, ā€˜I like a challenge.ā€™ā€ And then, as if creeping all over Sophie wasnā€™t enough, he gets up in her face, touches her face, and says this cringy-ass line. Again, this is not romantic. This is creepy.Ā 
ā€œā€˜On the one hand, the look on Fitzā€™s face is pretty priceless right now, and I know itā€™s killing him not to say, ā€˜But weā€™re Cognates!ā€™ But on the other hand . . . donā€™t go thinking this lets you into the Foster Fan Club, Bangs Boy!ā€™ā€ Can Keefe let any guy in their group do anything for Sophie without immediately seeing him as a threat?
ā€œShe could feel him reaching for her gloveā€”and yanked her hand away.ā€ Keefe tries to breach Sophieā€™s boundaries. But what else is new.
ā€œIf sheā€™d had it her way, sheā€™d be alone. Sheā€™d even tried asking Keefe to leave, but there was no getting rid of him.ā€ Sophie literally asked Keefe to leave her alone, and he didnā€™t. He disrespects her boundaries, invalidates her feelings and assumes that she wants him around all the time, even when she tells him she doesn't want him there. Thatā€™s not being caring, thatā€™s thinking you know someone elseā€™s feelings better than they know their own feelings. This might be Keefeā€™s worst act yet. When someone wants to be left alone, you leave them alone. You donā€™t assume that they donā€™t know their own wishes and encroach on their space, instead. Itā€™s disgusting and manipulative, and the fact that Shannon said that in a throwaway, forgettable line shows that she doesnā€™t understand how horrific that is. Itā€™s also another example of Keefe being arrogant and assuming that Sophie always needs him when sheā€™s down. Only him, because he knows her so well! Itā€™s very cocky and somewhat entitled behavior.
Nightfall Short Story:
ā€œā€˜Look! Iā€™m all better!ā€™ Keefe promised [ . . . ]ā€ Why did Shannon have to make Keefe so unbearably annoying. Like, seriously. Heā€™s told heā€™s going to have permanent damage if he doesnā€™t do bed rest and his reaction is literally Oh, well. He needs to stop treating serious issues like jokes.
ā€œā€˜I can always pry those pouty lips open and pour it down your throat,ā€™ Ro added with a smile that showed every single one of her pointed teeth.ā€ Why is Keefe refusing to take his medicine??? Is he really that stupid and excruciating?
ā€œā€˜Itā€™s only for a weekā€™ ā€˜Uh, do you realize how many times Foster can almost die in a week?ā€™ā€ Does Keefe really think he can stop Sophie from almost dying??? Just because of his . . . presence??? Wow, heā€™s even more arrogant than I thought.Ā 
ā€œHe didnā€™t care what anyone said. Sophie needed his help.ā€ Oh, boy. He really does see himself as her savior. How adorable. And by adorable, I mean obsessive and creepy. Is he really so stupid and stubborn that heā€™s willing to risk doing permanent damage to his body just so he can . . . see her? He wonā€™t even be able to go with her to Nightfall??? What exactly does he think heā€™s going to do?
ā€œThen he was lost to his floaty dreams, most of which focused on the gold-flecked brown eyes he could never get out of his head.ā€ What Wattpad author held a gun to Shannonā€™s head for her to write this??? Damn . . . he really does have an unhealthy obsession with her.Ā 
ā€œā€˜It is. Itā€™s going to take me a little while to make itā€”but itā€™ll seriously top every gift sheā€™s been given before.ā€™ā€ Fantastic. So heā€™s still as arrogant as ever. Even after whatever miniscule amount of character development he supposedly gets in this story.
ā€œFrom that point on, he only had one goal: to be whatever Sophie needed. Not the hero. Not the one taking charge of everything. Just a guy ready to listen and help and be there for her. A friend. Until she was ready for more.ā€ The fact that his ā€œone goalā€ is essentially to be obsessed with Sophie is kinda. Not good. Keefe is a classic case of obsessed-with-the-love-interest syndrome. It takes over everything and he canā€™t even do a week of bed rest without obsessing over her every single day of it. Also, the part at the end where he says ā€œUntil she was ready for moreā€ . . . bro. I do not have the words to describe how disgusting that is. He just sort of . . . assumes that one day he and Sophie will end up together. Now, think back to all the times heā€™s begged Sophie not to hate him. Even at this moment, he knows Sophieā€™s angry with him. If he truly thought she would hate him, why would he assume that heā€™d end up with her someday? Itā€™s a walking contradiction. Itā€™s so revolting to assume that one day someone you like will end up with you. It also proves my point that Shannon only throws all those ā€œPlease donā€™t hate meā€s in there to attract pity for Keefe. If he actually believed she would ever hate him, he wouldnā€™t assume so readily that one day she would be ā€œready for moreā€. Pick a lane Shannon: he can either be sure Sophie will want to be with him someday, or he can think she hates him, but you canā€™t have it both ways. Theyā€™re opposites.
Flashback:
ā€œā€˜[ . . . ] forced herself to meet Keefeā€™s ice blue eyes. ā€˜Iā€™m fine.ā€™ When he raised one eyebrow, she added, ā€˜Iā€™m just frustrated [ . . . ]ā€™ā€ (7) Thatā€™s right, the page numbers return. And I have physical copies of the rest of the series, so theyā€™re here to stay. It may seem like Keefe is just trying to check on Sophie and make sure sheā€™s okay, which is a noble cause, but when someone says they donā€™t want to talk about something, that means they donā€™t want to talk about it. That does not mean you prod and prod until they spill. So many things Sophie tells Keefe get twisted and people think she tells him because she trusts him, but more often than not she doesnā€™t and he just prods her or extorts them out of her.
ā€œā€˜Youā€™re so adorable when you worry. Iā€™ve told you that, right?ā€™ā€ (12) Yes, you have, and saying it more doesnā€™t make it any less icky and gross and infantilizing. Itā€™s like heā€™s dumbing Sophie down to this object who only exists to entertain him with her adowabuw wittle feewings, instead of a person with very real, very complex emotions.
ā€œHe traced his thumb over the sliver of skin between her glove and the edge of her beaded sleeve. ā€˜Thereā€™s something youā€™re not saying right now. I can feel it.ā€™ā€ (12) Keefe once again breaches boundaries because he canā€™t keep his nose out of other peopleā€™s personal feelings. He has no right to just help himself to Sophieā€™s emotions like that. Itā€™s a massive breach of boundaries, and then using that to try to pry the secret out of her is nothing short of repulsive behavior.
ā€œā€˜Come on, Foster. Itā€™s me. You know you can trust me.ā€™ā€ (12) Does she? Does she know that? Because it seems like in order to trust Keefe, Sophie would have to know that for herself, instead of having Keefe feed that to her. Sophie likely does trust Keefe, even if her trust is misplaced, but saying it like that is very, very manipulative. And Sophie really shouldnā€™t trust Keefe, because almost everything she tells him is manipulated and extorted out of her. Sheā€™d tell him a lot less if it werenā€™t for his toxic traits and extortive empathy.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Lord Hunkyhair,ā€™ Keefe corrected. ā€˜What? Itā€™s accurate.ā€™ He tossed his head like he was in a shampoo commercial.ā€ (20) I forgot about this atrocious nickname.
ā€œā€˜Fintan knew Keefe would be dumb enough to go after them,ā€™ Ruy added, ā€˜so he had our Technopath make a couple of replicas.ā€™ā€ (89) I mean . . . he isnā€™t wrong about Keefeā€™s stupidity.
ā€œTam and Keefe had been feuding since the moment theyā€™d metā€”even though they were so similar it was kind of hilarious.ā€ (117) Again, if Shannon wants us to believe that Keefe and Tam have this deep rivalry, rather than Keefe being jealous of Tam and Tam thinking Keefeā€™s annoying because he gets possessive of Sophie, then sheā€™s going to have to put a lot more effort into it then that.
ā€œā€˜Itā€™s okay to hate me,ā€™ Keefe said from the doorway.ā€ (138) Oh, boy, here comes the forced consolation scene pity-party. Thatā€™s going to take up a whole two chapters, by the way. I donā€™t know about you, but I really donā€™t want to watch Keefe wallow in his own self-pity while Sophie strokes his ego for two entire chapters.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Fintanā€™s good. His emotions always felt normal when I asked about the caches. A little nervous. A little suspicious. Exactly the way he wouldā€™ve felt if they were real.ā€™ā€ Wait, Keefe asked Fintan about the caches??? This is just getting better and better, by which I mean Keefeā€™s getting stupider and stupider. My guy. Have some subtlety. When asking about something you want, you donā€™t just outright ask that. Keefeā€™s even dumber than I thought. Seriously, how did he think he was smarter than the Neverseen?
[cut because character limit]
ā€œā€˜Donā€™t beat yourself up about the caches. Weā€™ll figure something out.ā€™ā€ (140) Thatā€™s the thing, though. Keefe needs to do some serious thinking about his choices and how they affect the entire thing. He needs to have that development. But Shannon wants to convince the audience that heā€™s fine the way he is. He doesnā€™t need to repent and change! He just needs to be entirely devoted to Sophie and everyone will still love him. He faces no consequences for running off with the Neverseen at all, despite the fact that he set them back. A lot. Heā€™s still allowed to be in on all their plans and still trusted. Do you see what I mean? Itā€™s like it never happened. Itā€™s like he never ran off to join the Neverseen. Thereā€™s no impact. Everyone still trusts him, everyone still relies on him, nobodyā€™s wary, nobody thinks heā€™s going to mess something else up, even though heā€™s proven, time and time again, that heā€™s reckless and cannot be trusted. Keefe cannot be trusted. But the narrative refuses to acknowledge it. He should be forced to sit on the side while everyone else comes up with a plan that excludes him. That should be when he realizes he canā€™t be trusted because he thinks heā€™s smarter than everyone and messes everything up. Keefeā€™s arc practically wrote itself for Shannon, but she refuses to let her character have growth. Keefe needs to have people, especially Sophie, be mad at him, so that he can realize what he did that was so wrong.
ā€œā€˜You donā€™t have to tell me Iā€™m a jerk,ā€™ Keefe mumbled. ā€˜I already know.ā€™ā€ (147) Does he? Because if he was truly sorry, he would volunteer to sit on the sideline, so he knew he wouldnā€™t mess anything up again. He would volunteer to face whatever consequences he shouldā€™ve had coming for his actions. But he doesnā€™t. Because he isnā€™t truly repentant. Heā€™s just throwing a pity party for himself. In the end, heā€™s just a pity magnet whose only purpose in the story is to lay it on thick so that he can gain more and more pity. Thereā€™s really nothing to pity him for. He did the action, so he has to face the consequence. Itā€™s that simple. But he doesnā€™t. Remember what I said about how Keefe, despite Shannon claiming he doesnā€™t want pity, really does nothing but wallow in his own self-pity to make the audience feel sorry for him? Well this entire scene is a prime example.
ā€œ[ . . . ] every reckless decision heā€™d made over the last year was all part of his desperate attempt to relieve the shame and fear that were eating him up inside. That was the problem with guilt.ā€ (148) By the way, Keefeā€™s whole ā€œlegacyā€ backstory is just another excuse for his actions. In the barest sense, nothing Keefeā€™s mom does or plans for him is on Keefe. He has no control and none of thatā€™s his fault. So the fact that Shannon built his entire story on the fact that heā€™s guilty over something he didnā€™t do is so stupid I donā€™t have the words for it. If he doesnā€™t have something to be guilty over, how can he be a pity magnet? But if he does have something to be guilty over, heā€™d actually have to do something to deserve that guilt, right? So Shannon tries to have it both ways. Her precious Keefe canā€™t do anything actually wrong, or he wonā€™t be so perfectly innocent anymore. So whereā€™s his sob story going to come from? Oh right, heā€™ll just feel responsible for his momā€™s actions. A perfect fix to the conundrum. But really it makes no sense at all. And it gives her every excuse to heap a suffocating amount of pity on him while simultaneously having him insist he hates pity.
ā€œā€˜Too bad Iā€™m stuck being the designated loser,ā€™ Keefe said under his breath.ā€ (149) Quite the pity party heā€™s throwing for himself there. Nothing ever got accomplished because someone wallowed in their self-pity. And thatā€™s all Keefe does.Ā 
[cut because character limit]
ā€œā€˜Do you trust me?ā€™ she asked. ā€˜Of course I do---thatā€™s not the problem.ā€™ā€ (151) No, he may think he trusts her. But he really doesnā€™t. If he truly trusted her, he wouldnā€™t keep thinking heā€™s smarter than her and making plans without consulting her. He would value her input in his plans if he trusted her. He would stop feeling this incessant need to protect her and trust that sheā€™d be able to handle herself. Because, letā€™s face it, more often than not, Keefe ends up giving Sophie more grief and worry than anything. Sheā€™s always worried about him and heā€™s even set her progress back several times. But he still thinks he needs to be there for her all the time. Not to mention, he doesnā€™t trust her decision when she says she doesn't want to share her feelings and thoughts with him, so he forces them out of her. True trust isnā€™t constantly leaping into that person's business and constantly trying to save them when they donā€™t need or want you to. True trust is trusting that they know what they want and need, and acting accordingly.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Umber wouldnā€™t have been able to find you if I hadnā€™t given you that pendant. Just like the day the Neverseen broke Silvenyā€™s wing because of the Sencen crest I was wearing.ā€™ ā€˜And you know what both of those things have in common?ā€™ Sophie asked. ā€˜You had no idea that the Neverseen were manipulating you.ā€™ā€ (151) You know what Iā€™m going to say. Forced consolation scene. The first statement Keefe says is valid. That mistake was on Keefe. Heā€™s the one who thought he was smarter than everyone and then made such horrible mistakes that Sophie and Fitz will now have to recover for a third of this book. That was entirely on him. And honestly, pity shouldnā€™t be the automatic reaction. Anger is fine, too. But if Sophieā€™s angry at Keefe (as she should be), how can the narrative continue to pity him? But Keefeā€™s second statement is clearly thrown in there to attract pity. Look, itā€™s poor Keefe again, blaming himself for his momā€™s actions again. Itā€™s not pitiable. Itā€™s just plain stupid. That wasnā€™t on Keefe in the slightest. The narrative then tries to equate both these actions with each other in Sophieā€™s statement, which is clearly an attempt to absolve Keefe of any blame for what he did when he was with the Neverseen. He underestimated his opponent and in his overconfidence, thought he could outplay them. He took a stupid risk without considering what his team would think and stole the pendant back without a thought in the direction of whether the Neverseen would suspect him. He even says in Lodestar that he didnā€™t know what he was going to do if the Neverseen figured out what happened (I have the quote up there somewhere). Thatā€™s the thing. That entire situation is on him. Itā€™s his mess and his fault. But the Sencen crest isnā€™t. Shannon, please stop comparing two incomparable situations to make Keefe look good. Also, what does Keefe even want? What is the point of him doing all this wallowing? Does he want Sophie to blame and hate him? No, obviously not. Does he want to be punished and face the consequences of his actions? No, because if he did, he would suggest that. So, in the end, all his wallowing, and dare I say whining, is just that: whining. It leads nowhere, does nothing, results in no ideas for how Keefe wants to prevent something similar from happening again, and is just Shannon trying to make Keefe pitiable. There is no point to any of this. It results in no change, no development, no ideas from Keefe about how he will change, which makes it the perfect recipe for an easily resettable conversation. Because thatā€™s all these forced consolation scenes are. The same exact conversation, which results in no change, so that it can be had over and over and over.Ā 
This scene is so unbearably long, and for what? Unfortunately, I canā€™t copy down the whole thing, but oh, boy. Shannon really needs to stop these horrible forced consolation scenes that eat up so much time.Ā 
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ā€œā€˜Ugh, I shouldnā€™t tell you this, since itā€™ll just make you think Iā€™m even more messed up than you already doā€”ā€™ [ . . . ] ā€˜All I know is, weapons and blood donā€™t bother me the way they bother other people, so . . . yeah. Feel free to think Iā€™m super creepyā€”ā€ (161) The forced consolation is really being laid on thick. Shannon has switched from Sophie comforting Keefe over his guilt over something he didnā€™t do (over and over and over, just so Shannon can really annoy the point into us) to Sophie saying Keefe isnā€™t creepy because . . . weapons and blood donā€™t bother him. Huh??? Why would someone get freaked out because someone else isnā€™t bothered by blood??? That doesnā€™t automatically make them a killer. What kind of leap in logic is this??? But of course, Shannon has to have something to fuel her forced consolation scenes, and sheā€™s burnt out all the Keefeā€™s-guilt-over-his-mom thing, so she has to switch to something else. Also, Keefe couldnā€™t be more of a pity magnet. He literally thought that Sophie would hate him because . . . weapons donā€™t freak him out. While theyā€™re in the middle of a war. Wow. Shannon so badly wants us to pity him, itā€™s pathetic. Sophie needs to be Keefeā€™s personal assurance robot over something, so now itā€™s his nonaversion to blood. Thatā€™s the thing. Sophie always has to reassure Keefe of some dumb thing he shouldnā€™t worry about, and Shannon loves to blow it out of proportion to make it seem like this huge thing when itā€™s not. Thatā€™s why her forced consolation scenes are so forced. Because the consolation happens over the stupidest things. And thereā€™s so many of them, like Shannonā€™s trying to convince us that we should really think this is something worth spending so much page time on.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Well, I think itā€™s safe to say that the Fitzphie slumber party is a total snoozefest,ā€™ Keefe said [ . . . ]ā€ (219) Keefeā€™s incessant use of ship names and the term ā€œfestā€ returns with a vengeance. I honestly donā€™t get how Shannon didnā€™t see how juvenile his dialogue sounds. He doesnā€™t sound fifteen. He sounds six.
ā€œā€˜Youā€™ve had this campus to yourself all night every night, and you havenā€™t caused even a tiny bit of chaos.ā€™ā€ (223) Is this guy for real??? Serious??? While sheā€™s literally on bed rest? I- I donā€™t have the words to describe how stupid he is. And if he isnā€™t being serious, then oh, boy, are his jokes so atrociously bad it concerns me.
ā€œā€˜Iā€™m really not in the mood.ā€™ ā€˜I knowā€”thatā€™s what makes it extra fun. Go on.ā€™ā€ (225) Keefe stop salivating at any opportunity to annoy Sophie for his own amusement challenge. Keefe stop being a selfish piece of shit challenge.
ā€œā€˜I thought if they saw me as Captain Committed, theyā€™d teach me something good.ā€™ā€ (227) Shannon really needs to stop with the atrocity that is her nickname humor.Ā 
ā€œā€˜I shouldnā€™t have brought up any of those worries. Edaline warned me that you need to stay calm right now.ā€™ā€ (231) Nothing to say about this right now, but just remember this quote. Iā€™ll touch on it in a little bit. Coloring it green to make it easy.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Rest. Recover. Take whatever medicine and time you need to get strong again. And trust the rest of us to cover anything that comes up while youā€™re down.ā€™ā€ (233) If only Keefe had taken his own advice a book ago . . . and someone's going to say "But he learned his lesson, didn't he?" To that, I say I've already covered all the reasons why he really didn't.
ā€œā€˜I didnā€™t get swoony,ā€™ Sophie felt the need to point out. ā€˜Keep telling yourself that, Foster. Keeeeeeeeeep telling yourself that.ā€™ā€ (235) First of all, counting those Es out was misery. At some point in Nightfall, Shannon really starts to jack up the amount of times she does that stretchy-word thing. And secondly, Keefeā€™s lack of self-awareness is as cringy as ever.
ā€œā€˜I think Scaley Butt should be near Krakie so it looks like theyā€™re swimming together. And then Bitey could be close to The Stink so it looks like heā€™s trying to chomp him.ā€™ā€ (251) A perfect example of Keefeā€™s atrocious mixture of potty humor and nickname humor, in the worst way possible.
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ā€œā€˜Yeah, what time should we arrive to catch the Great Fitzphie Ooze Fest?ā€™ā€ (301) Someone needs to take away Shannonā€™s ability to type the word ā€œfestā€. Also Keefeā€™s horrible nicknames paired with immature humor strikes again.Ā 
ā€œā€˜I thought you werenā€™t supposed to be teasing Fitz,ā€™ Sophie reminded him instead. ā€˜Iā€™m not, but . . . he makes it so easy.ā€™ā€ (303) So when Keefe doesnā€™t want to set Sophieā€™s recovery back, he takes measures to make sure he doesnā€™t (remember that quote I told you to remember?), but when he has to do the same with Fitz, he doesnā€™t even seem remorseful when he slips up. He clearly favors Sophie, and remember, Fitz is supposed to be his best friend. He really doesnā€™t care about Fitz or his recovery at all. But he cares about Sophieā€™s.
ā€œā€˜Hear that, Ro?ā€™ he interrupted. ā€˜Sheā€™s giving me her serious voice.ā€™ā€ (304) Another example of Keefe infantilizing Sophie and dumbing her feelings down for the sake of a joke. Awwww, isnā€™t her serious voice so cute? She only does that when she thinks she has something important to say to us grown-ups! Awwwwwww.Ā 
ā€œā€˜He really doesnā€™t know when to quit, does he?ā€™ Ro asked Sophie. ā€˜Iā€™m pretty sure itā€™s a disease,ā€™ Fitz told her. ā€˜Coping mechanism,ā€™ Keefe argued.ā€ (309) Shannon, pointing out Keefeā€™s flaws doesnā€™t give him character development. You actually have to like. Develop him. Also, the fact that Keefe had the perfect chance to reflect and change and instead decided to be as resistant to growth as he always is really says something about him.
ā€œā€˜Why else would you spend so much time helping Miss Fosterā€™s cause?ā€™ ā€˜Uh . . . youā€™ve seen how cute she is, right?ā€™ā€ (312) Oh, gosh. Shannon really cranked Keefeā€™s atrocious humor up to eleven for this book, and since a good chunk of this book is filler, thatā€™s all we have to go on for a good section. And if I thought it was bad when it was sectioned out, itā€™s even more unbearable now that Shannon is dumping it all on us at once. First of all, Keefe basically flat-out admitted a good chunk of his motive is because he wants to impress Sophie. People will argue and say that heā€™s just joking, but reading his short story was proof enough that heā€™s not really kidding. And second of all, Shannon really uses the word ā€œUhā€ a lot in this book right before someone makes a joke. It was fine at first, but it becomes so noticeable as the book goes on. Itā€™s like sheā€™s trying to tell us to brace for a joke.Ā 
ā€œI tell Keefe that stuff because itā€™s been the only way to get him to open up to me, she explained.ā€Ā (323) Actually, more often than not, she doesnā€™t want to tell him anything. Usually, he forces it out of her with his empathy or manipulation or his general annoying demeanor. But thank you for twisting the narrative, Shannon.Ā 
ā€œKeefe guessed most of the story on his own, and I couldnā€™t deny it because Empaths are annoyingly impossible to lie to.ā€ (324) That is not what happened. Itā€™s explicitly said that Keefe ā€œdragged the story out of her through relentless questionsā€ (paraphrase, I have the real quote up there somewhere). He didnā€™t have to ask that. He couldā€™ve respected Sophieā€™s boundaries and feelings. But he always has to stick his nose in everything when he thinks itā€™s his business. Fitz actually has a way better reason to know than Keefe; he just wants to improve their cognate relationship, but Keefe just wants to be nosy.
ā€œShe wasnā€™t sure if they were allowed to tell himā€”but it was so much easier than arguing.ā€ (336) Keefe has literally annoyed Sophie so much that she doesnā€™t even think itā€™s worth the fight to keep a secret. Thatā€™s not good. It means that Sophie just succumbs to whatever he wants without a thought. Thatā€™s pretty much the highest sign of a toxic relationship.
ā€œā€˜But you're kinda scraping bottom if youā€™re using me as the model of good decisions. Especially decisions concerning my parents.ā€™ā€ (337) Once again, Keefe shows that heā€™s fully aware of how dumb he is, heā€™s just so overly stubborn that he refuses to change. Shannon acts like this is an innate part of her personality and refuses to acknowledge it as a flaw.Ā 
[cut because character limit]
ā€œItā€™s always fun when you get feisty.ā€ (355) Iā€™ve said this about a gajillion times, but Keefeā€™s infantilization of Sophie is so horrific, itā€™s like he doesnā€™t care about her at all. He just sees her emotions as amusement for himself.Ā 
ā€œMy life isnā€™t perfect, Fitz argued. Maybe not. But itā€™s pretty close, dude. I mean, yeah, Alvarā€™s a creepā€”but you still have your dad. And your mom. And Biana. And youā€™re still top of our class. And youā€™re Fosterā€™s Cognate and . . . even without all of that, youā€™re still a Vacker. Youā€™re always going to be the golden boy everyone expects greatness from. And Iā€™ll always be the mess.ā€ (360) Wow, Keefe is throwing quite the pity-party there for himself. If he didnā€™t want pity (which he explicitly says), then why does he keep saying heā€™s a mess? What are people supposed to say to that, besides Youā€™re not a mess? Does he want them to tell him heā€™s a mess? This is a real thing people do, by the way, where they say negative things about themselves so that other people will reassure them theyā€™re wrong. Keefeā€™s a massive hypocrite. If he truly didnā€™t want any sympathy, he wouldnā€™t keep saying heā€™s a mess and keep forcing the subject. Also, Fitzā€™s life is not perfect. Especially not now. I touched on this briefly before, but Keefe wouldnā€™t be jealous of Fitz being the top of their class. It makes no sense, when Keefe goes out of his way to cause trouble for himself in the academic department. It might make sense if Keefe tried and studied and still never matched Fitz, but we already know he doesnā€™t care. So this is another statement thatā€™s just meant to attract pity and sympathy.
ā€œSophie had no idea what that meantā€”but it didnā€™t matter. Iā€™m always going to be your friend. So am I, Fitz added. You sure about that? Keefe asked [ . . . ]ā€ (361) Again, if Keefe really didnā€™t want pity, he wouldnā€™t keep going out of his way to say things that invoke pity. He would try to stay as far away from the subject as possible.
ā€œā€˜Remember that? Such a classic Keephie moment!ā€™ā€ (380) Shannon needs to stop doing this whole self-aware thing. It doesnā€™t make her look smart to have Keefe talk about the ships in this series like heā€™s not involved in the story. Itā€™s incredibly cringy.
ā€œIs this that thing adults do where they make you think theyā€™re giving you what you want but really theyā€™re just wasting your time?ā€™ā€ (381) Another thing Shannon does is try to make the kids ā€œā€œā€œā€œā€œā€œrelatableā€ā€ā€ā€ā€ā€ by having them complain about adults all the time. Which is not how teenagers actually are. And once again, Keefe gets it the worst. Also, ungrateful much? Tiergan essentially offered to give him what he wants and he still fights it.
ā€œā€˜Yeah, well [Sophie wearing Linhā€™s tunic] still breaks the fan club rules. As penance, Iā€™m getting you a tunic that says, Empaths Give Me All the Feels, and I expect to see you wear it twice as often as Bangs Boyā€™s.ā€™ā€ (421) This is a joke, but the fact that Keefe makes such a big deal out of the tunic says a lot about his pathetic jealousy of Tam.
ā€œNah, he likes you better than me. Everyone does.ā€™ ā€˜No they donā€™t.ā€™ ā€˜Oh really? Tell me this: Have you heard from the Fitzster since he went home for the happy family reunion?ā€™ā€ (519) Another example of Keefe wallowing in self-pity. This book easily gets it the worst. It feels like everytime Keefeā€™s on-page, Shannon uses it to invoke more and more pity for him. If he doesnā€™t want people to pity him, then why does he keep saying things that invoke pity??? He doesnā€™t need to. Again, what exactly does he want Sophie to say? ā€œYes, Keefe, everyone hates youā€? He is such a pity magnet and I get so tired of his constant whining because Shannon just does it so much. Then Keefe has the audacity to turn around and say shit like ā€œI donā€™t want your pityā€. Like, Keefe. My guy. You kinda sorta arenā€™t really giving them a choice with the things you say.Ā 
[cut because character limit]
ā€œā€˜Everything okay? Need me to leap over there? I willā€”I donā€™t care if Ro wins the bet.ā€™ā€ (521) First of all, if Sophie was not okay, what is Keefe going to do to make her feel better? Talk to her? Heā€™s already doing that right now. Maybe read her emotions and extort a secret out of her? Also why does he automatically assume that Sophie needs him when sheā€™s feeling down? Thatā€™s just. Such a bold assumption to make. Also, the fact that heā€™s so obsessed with Sophie to the point of throwing his bet under the bus just because she . . . looked tired? Is not good. Thatā€™s not a good thing. Itā€™s a textbook sign of obsession. And Keefeā€™s obsession with and prioritization of Sophie is incredibly toxic. Again, if Shannon had made that out to be a negative quality on his part, it would be fine. But instead, she makes it seem like a desirable trait. Heā€™s probably not willing to do that for anyone else, too. Like Iā€™m sure he wouldnā€™t be willing to do that for Fitz, since heā€™s already admitted that he hasnā€™t talked to Fitz since he left the Healing Center. Thatā€™s on Fitz, too, sure, but a relationship goes two ways. So itā€™s also on Keefe.
ā€œā€˜Sounds like I need to head over there after Daddyā€™s little hugfest tomorrow.ā€™ā€ (522) I just ranted about his obsession with Sophie, but this line is mostly here because itā€™s another example of Shannonā€™s love for the term ā€œfestā€.
ā€œā€˜I can tell thereā€™s something you're not telling me right nowā€”but Iā€™m not going to force you to talk about it. If you say youā€™re good, Iā€™ll trust you.ā€™ā€ (522) Where did this sudden change come from? I know Iā€™ve complained about this incessantly for this entire rant, but this seriously came out of nowhere. There was no development that led to this. Itā€™s also a complete throwaway line, like blink-and-you-miss-it kind of thing. Itā€™s a good thing, but it feels like Shannon randomly realized how creepy Keefe has been this entire time and shoehorned this in so itā€™d make him feel less creepy. Well, telling isnā€™t showing, Shannon, and it doesnā€™t change the fact that Keefe does this. A lot.Ā 
ā€œā€˜[ . . . ] if you and Fitz are visiting troll-baby hives without me, I am definitely losing at life, you know?ā€™ā€ (671) Someone needs to tell this guy that he doesnā€™t have to be a part of everything that happens in Sophieā€™s life.Ā 
ā€œā€˜So . . . you donā€™t hate me?ā€™ Sophie rolled her eyes. ā€˜Ugh, how many times do I have to tell youā€”Iā€™m never going to hate you!ā€™ His smile looked tired. ā€˜Well. I guess thatā€™s good enough. For now.ā€™ā€ (684) Again, Shannon really tries hard to make us pity Keefe. Also, that last part. Sophie not hating Keefe being ā€œgood enoughā€ ā€œfor nowā€ obviously implies that Keefe expects something more from her in the future. Shannon almost certainly wrote this with Sokeefe implications in mind, which is such a shitty thing for Keefe to say. Heā€™s basically saying ā€œYou being my friend is fine for now, but one day I expect something moreā€. Itā€™s honestly incredibly shitty. But also really subtle. So it can be skipped over or accidentally ignored.
ā€œā€˜Thank you for thinking about me,ā€™ he whispered. ā€˜No one does that.ā€™ ā€˜Lots of people care about you, Keefe,ā€™ Sophie gently corrected. He sighed. ā€˜I guess, but . . . ā€™ā€ (725) The end of that sentence should be ā€œthose people who care about me arenā€™t you, and yours is the only opinion I care about because I pedestalize you heavilyā€. Again, if Keefe really didnā€™t want pity, he wouldnā€™t keep bringing things like this up. Plenty of people care about Keefe. He just pushes them all away except Sophie and then turns around and basically claims Sophieā€™s the only one thinking of him. Again, he prioritizes Sophie and then gets all woe is me, nobody cares about me except Sophie when he is the one pushing them all away.
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There isnā€™t really a quote to go with this, but Keefe only uses his emotional-calming breezes for Sophie, when itā€™s been proven they can work on anybody. He doesn't use them to help Fitz, although Fitz definitely couldā€™ve used a couple throughout the climax of this book. He doesnā€™t use them to help Linh, either, when Linh learns about Tam. It's another way he pedestalizes Sophie to an unhealthy extent, and itā€™s not a good thing.Ā 
Flashback Short Story: Keefe
ā€œā€˜Sophieā€™s not some prize that Fitz and I get to fight over. Sheā€™s a person. And she has her own feelingsā€”and no one knows those feelings better than I do!ā€™ā€ Again, it feels like Shannon randomly realized she had Keefe act like a jealous, possessive, manipulative asshole for the past book and wanted to turn that around so she added this in. But saying it doesnā€™t make it true. The mountain of evidence Iā€™ve provided should make that clear enough. Again, itā€™s part of Shannonā€™s not-so-subtle pedestalization of Keefe. And the part where he says ā€œno one knows those feelings better than I doā€ . . . oh, the nerve. The only reason he knows why sheā€™s feeling what sheā€™s feeling half the time is because he uses his empathy to extort her secrets out of her. Itā€™s usually not because she wants to tell him or trusts him with whatever sheā€™s feeling.Ā 
Legacy
ā€œā€˜Tell me why you have that cute little crease between your eyebrows.ā€™ā€ (70) You already know what Iā€™m going to say. Keefe finding Sophieā€™s worry cute is textbook infantilization. But also, if he finds her worry and anger so adorable, whatā€™s he gonna do when the Neverseen are defeated and Sophie doesnā€™t have as many things worrying her?
ā€œā€˜You already know my mom gave me a letter to deliver to a house in London with a green door,ā€™ he reminded Sophie as she made her way over. ā€˜And you said Fintan told you she sent me there to recruit somebody.ā€™ā€ (75) Yet another example of Shannon using Keefeā€™s dialogue as narration for things the audience already knows. Iā€™m sure youā€™ve all heard of the ā€œAs you knowā€ cardinal writing sin, but this is even worse than that because writers usually use it to convey something the audience doesnā€™t know. But Shannon literally used this to convey something the audience is already aware of. What the heck??? Shannon, stop treating your audience like weā€™re stupid. We read the previous book. We know whatā€™s happening.
By the way, Sophie has some of the issues Iā€™ve talked about here, too. Within a few pages alone in this chapter, sheā€™s already gotten butthurt that Keefe left her out of one of his personal projects and tries to force her way into it (being nosy about things that arenā€™t strictly her business) and grabs one of his notebooks without his permission while he looks visibly uncomfortable and flips through it (invading his personal privacy). So itā€™s not just Keefe that has the problems Iā€™ve listed here. But this list is strictly about Keefe, as Iā€™ve said, so I wonā€™t talk about anyone else, so in case youā€™re thinking ā€œWell, [other character] did that too, and you never talked about itā€, itā€™s because this list is solely reasons I donā€™t like Keefe.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Iā€™m not sitting any of this out! And if you try to lock me up, itā€™s on.ā€™ā€ (88) Keefe once again demonstrates a startling lack of growth. He acts like a petulant child whose parents wonā€™t let them go outside while itā€™s raining or something. He just got information that the Neverseen, specifically Tam, have been ordered to kill him. And knowing this, he insists on not ā€œsitting any of this outā€, even though he knows that heā€™s been ordered to be killed. He once again doesnā€™t care about how this might impact Sophieā€™s mental health, and his stupidity is back with full force. When youā€™re told that someone wants you, specifically you, dead, you listen. Heā€™s so headstrong and arrogant that he thinks he can just, what, not be killed by pure determination? The Neverseen have already proven he canā€™t just do that. If Keefe could just make a single smart decision in his life or listen to a single good piece of advice, he might not be so annoying and frustrating as a character all the time.
ā€œā€˜If something goes down in Loamnore like Forkleā€™s predicting, I will be there with you guys. Just like Iā€™ll be there for anything else that happensā€”so letā€™s not make this into a fight, okay?ā€™ā€ (90) Once again, Keefe proves that he cannot take good advice. He throws his loved onesā€™ mental health under the bus because heā€™s too selfish not to sit one battle out for their sake. He still hasnā€™t faced a single consequence for the whole running-off-to-join-the-Neverseen thing, which he admitted in the last book was his biggest mistake. Actions like that should have consequences. And when youā€™ve been preemptively warned that you might be killed and still choose to go into the battle . . . wow. Thatā€™s just plain stupidity. And again, the fact that Keefe is willing to forsake Sophieā€™s opinion on the matter is ridiculously arrogant and taking-over-ish.
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ā€œā€˜Youā€™ll say, ā€œWow, thatā€™s the hottest Wanderling Iā€™ve ever seen! Who knew a tree could have such awesome hair?ā€ And then youā€™ll all sit under my stunning leaves and write poems about my general amazingness.ā€™ā€ (91) Again, Keefe doesnā€™t know when to be serious. You canā€™t just joke your way through everything. Some things need to be treated with an appropriate amount of gravity. And Keefe doesn't know when to shut up with the jokes. Itā€™s not a good quality. It makes him tone-deaf and insensitive.Ā 
ā€œā€˜I can joke about anything!ā€™ā€ (91) Like I just said, this isnā€™t a flex. Itā€™s not a good thing. Itā€™s very much a bad quality to have. People donā€™t need jokes all the time. They need them during appropriate times.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Weā€™re always complaining that we donā€™t have any good leads. But Iā€™m the lead. And I canā€™t help you guys if Iā€™m hiding.ā€™ā€ (93) Keefeā€™s even stupider than I thought, which is really saying something. If Keefeā€™s the lead, then by definition, he doesnā€™t have to go anywhere to be useful. His argument is literally ā€œIā€™m a lead to possibly useful information so you should let me go placesā€. Serious??? Real??? Bro. Keefe can be a lead sitting at home just fine. You donā€™t have to go anywhere to draw in a notebook. The fact that this is his argument and the fact that itā€™s not countered is just plain ridiculous. And stupid. Did I mention stupid? Because this argument is so stupid.
ā€œā€˜Master elixir maker, ultimate gadget manipulator, and he scored a Foster kiss before Fitzy.ā€™ā€ (94) Keefe literally just casually spilled Sophieā€™s secret, emphasis on secret, to Sandor and Ro when he knew Sophie didnā€™t want him to. Thatā€™s just. And itā€™s treated so casually by the narrative. Sophie gets over it in half a second, and she just tells Keefe to stop distracting her. Thatā€™s it. This is a huge violation of trust and privacy and Keefe just every-so-casually violated it to try to distract Sophie for half a second. Thatā€™s just. Itā€™s so. That is revolting behavior. Itā€™s toxic, itā€™s selfish, itā€™s embarrassing (for Sophie), and Keefe, once again, faces no consequences for his actions. The line is a complete throwaway one, and Shannonā€™s attempt to make this a seemingly normal thing to do instead of the disgusting thing it really was is pathetic. Iā€™d also like to mention that just a book ago, Sophie wouldnā€™t even tell Fitz, her cognate, who only wanted this information for the sake of their bond, the full story, because Dex had not consented to having the secret spilled. And now Keefe just spills it and youā€™re telling me Sophieā€™s just chill with that???
ā€œā€˜See, but ā€œsmartā€ isnā€™t my brand. Iā€™m more ā€œreckless dream guy without a careā€! Itā€™s part of my whole ā€œbad boyā€ image.ā€™ā€ (95) Did. Did Keefe just describe himself using blatant stereotypes? Wow. I- Thatā€™s just. Wow. Shannon really doesnā€™t have a single iota of shame. Also, her trying to make Keefeā€™s recklessness seem like a personality quirk instead of a very real flaw that could get someone else or himself killed is very troubling. Shannon. Stop treating Keefeā€™s recklessness like a good thing and stop letting him do reckless things without a hint of consequence. I promise nothing bad will happen to you if Keefe is allowed to grow and develop like a good character.
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ā€œā€˜Yup! But I canā€™t stop her, so I might as well let her take you down with me.ā€™ā€ (97) This is Keefe talking about Ro using him as a lie detector to extort Sophieā€™s secret out of her, by the way. Which Keefe agrees to do. Which he wouldnā€™t do if he really was a good friend. Just like Sophie wouldnā€™t have to make this deal with Ro if Keefe would just listen to good advice for once and do the smart thing. But he doesnā€™t care about Sophieā€™s mental health, and he doesn't care about Sophieā€™s feelings, because or else he would respect them by agreeing to stay out of the Neverseenā€™s way and not using his empathy to extort secrets Sophie clearly doesn't want to share out of her. And Ro. Honestly, sheā€™s even worse than Keefe, partly because of her personality, but mostly because of the wasted potential. Keefe was always going to be the ā€œbad boy angsty prankster with daddy issues that causes troubleā€ trope that we've seen a million times. But Ro couldā€™ve been so much more. Sheā€™s the ogre princess, and the most Shannon could do with her is make her a Sokeefe fangirl.
ā€œā€˜He just doesnā€™t take no for an answerā€”you know how Keefe is.ā€™ā€ (147) Take that quote out of context, Shannon. I dare you. I wish Shannon would stop treating Keefeā€™s toxicity as a quirky little trait. The ā€œyou know how he isā€ implies that heā€™s like that because Keefeā€™s just Keefe, not because he forces his way into everything even when he shouldnā€™t. No means no. That is the number one rule of a healthy relationship. We teach this shit in school to teenagers so they donā€™t end up in abusive relationships, come on, Shannon. Even some random kid with a C- in health class knows more about toxic relationships than you do.
ā€œā€˜I just love how it took you less than a day after your little chat with Bangs Boy to cut me out of everything.ā€™ā€ (215) Why are we looping back to this conversation??? We already spent almost a hundred pages of the book on it, and no, that is not an exaggeration. You can check. But of course, Keefe canā€™t not whine. He canā€™t not be annoying. He canā€™t not be stupid and nosy and unconcerned for his own safety and take everything Sophie does without him personally.
ā€œā€˜Not saying she wouldnā€™t try. But I bet you anything Keefe will find a loophole.ā€™ā€ (270) I really wish people would stop acting like Keefeā€™s this super smart, all-powerful entity that can get out of any situation just because heā€™s Keefe. More often than not, Keefe is really stupid. Heā€™s certainly not smart enough to figure out a way to escape an ogre dungeon. People need to stop acting like Keefe could get out of anything. Itā€™s just another way Shannon tries to convince us heā€™s this smart guy, which is another way of propping up his arrogance.
ā€œā€˜Yeah, Dex told me all about how not exhausting that was last night, when he checked in to tell me how things went for you two in London, while someone was off doing something with Mr. Forkle that was clearly both frustrating and intenseā€”as most things with Forkle tend to be.ā€™ā€ (351) Sophie immediately goes to Keefe, and he subtly blames Sophie for not telling him what happened because of what she was doing with Forkle, which he even admits was frustrating and intense. That is such an asshole move, I canā€™t even. He literally blames her for not checking in with him because she had an emotionally exhausting day. Wow. Itā€™s like he expects Sophie to be as obsessed with him as he is with her.Ā 
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ā€œā€˜But do you really think youā€™re going to be able to leave here without telling me what happened with the Forklenator? If you do, youā€™re going to be sorely, sorely disappointedā€”and covered in biscuit crumbs.ā€™ā€ (351) Again, Keefe as good as admits that heā€™d force Sophie to spill if she didnā€™t tell him what happened with Mr. Forkle. His extortive ways need to stop being glorified and start being treated like the horrific manipulation it is.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Soooooooo, what youā€™re saying is, you think Iā€™m the king of bad decisions,ā€™ Keefe said, laughing when Sophie fumbled for an apology. ā€˜Relaxā€”I know what you meant. Iā€™m just giving you a hard time. And you have a point. Iā€™m not necessarily great at doing what Iā€™m supposed to do and giving people what they want. And Iā€™m not usually sorry about it either.ā€™ā€ (352) Those goshdarned Os. Shannon. Please stop doing that. Itā€™s so annoying. And why is Sophie trying to apologize? Itā€™s clearly Shannonā€™s way of making Keefe seem somewhat right. But the truth is, Keefe needs to have these hard truths shoved in his face. He needs someone to tell him unapologetically that he makes horrible decisions and he needs to reflect on that and change. And lastly. That third sentence. Keefe literally sounds . . . proud. Of the fact that heā€™s never sorry. Heā€™s never sorry about his horrible decisions and heā€™s fine with that. His arrogance extends so much so that he knows heā€™s made bad decisions and knows that he should apologize, but doesnā€™t. And then he brushes that off so casually, like Haha, I donā€™t apologize for my mistakes. Arenā€™t I so quirky? People who are genuinely trying to be better usually arenā€™t like that. Keefe's toxicity and refusal to change even when he knows he should is so frustrating. Like heā€™s completely resistant to change and Shannon thinks thatā€™s cool and badass. Itā€™s not. Itā€™s cringy and try-hard and most importantly, annoying.
ā€œKeefe snatched Fitzā€™s wrist. ā€˜I knew it!ā€™ ā€˜Knew what?ā€™ Fitz shouted, trying to wrench his arm away. Keefe tightened his grip. ā€˜Shhhhh, let the Empath work.ā€™ā€ (367) Oh, boy. Keefe really is such a manipulative asshole. He grabs Fitzā€™s hand to read his emotions because he wants to know why Fitz is offering to search his dadā€™s memories. He really canā€™t respect his supposed best friendā€™s privacy, can he? He canā€™t control himself; when he wants to know something he needs to have it right away. He breaches peopleā€™s trust and boundaries. Fitz tries to ā€œwrench his arm awayā€, meaning that heā€™s uncomfortable and clearly doesnā€™t want this. But Keefe instead tightens his grip and forcibly extricates what he wants out of Fitz, even having the audacity to say ā€œlet the Empath workā€. What an asshole. Honestly. Heā€™s such a piece of shit. Heā€™s a terrible person and the fact that Shannon is romanticizing this behavior is revolting.
ā€œKeefe smirked. ā€˜I think the moral of this conversation is, females are cruel.ā€™ā€ (369) I know I said I was ready to forgive Keefeā€™s sexist comments in the first and second books because they likely werenā€™t intentional in the way they came off (and are more of Shannonā€™s problem than Keefeā€™s really, but all of Keefeā€™s problems are inevitably Shannonā€™s, so) and theyā€™d been removed from the graphic novel, so it was safe to say that Shannon didnā€™t want them there on second thought. But this book? It was released in 2019, seven years later. So yes, Iā€™m counting this. And I said this once or twice already, but authors need to stop having male love interests be so casually sexist as a way of making them ā€œā€œā€œā€œā€œā€œcoolerā€ā€ā€ā€ā€ā€. Especially in a world where sexism isnā€™t supposed to even exist, oh my goodness.Ā 
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ā€œBut she couldnā€™t leave without making sure Keefe was okay. He assured her he would beā€”and the third time he said it, he almost sounded convincing.ā€ (371) Thatā€™s right. Sophie checks on Keefe not once, not twice, but three times to make sure heā€™s okay. Because . . . his dadā€™s going to have his memories searched by Fitz. Something that doesnā€™t even really involve him. But Sophie didnā€™t show even close to the same level of concern for Fitz, even though heā€™s clearly going through something with Alvar and Keefe explicitly says heā€™s feeling a mixture of embarrassment and anger. She doesnā€™t try to talk to him about it, doesnā€™t try to make sure heā€™ll be okay. Nothing. But Keefe has to be pampered and pitied. Of course. It shows another clear prioritization in the narrative of Keefe.
Thereā€™s not really a single quote I can pull to show this from Legacy (although there is actually a quote from Flashback page 48 that I have up there somewhere), but Sophie claims she understands all of Keefeā€™s actions because heā€™s doing it because of guilt with what happened with his mom. Every reckless decision heā€™s made was in an attempt to cope with that, right? But now, Fitz is going through the same thing. And not for a single second does Sophie try to apply the same understanding to Fitz about what it must be like to feel guilt and shame over a traitorous family member. Instead, all that spare pity goes to Keefe. The double standards, honestly.
ā€œā€˜And donā€™t think Iā€™m going to forget about the E.L. Fudges you owe me,ā€™ā€ (371) Itā€™s a small thing, but Keefe never actually asks Sophie to get him the cookies. He just demands it from her, and now she apparently ā€œowe[s]ā€ them to him.Ā 
ā€œā€˜I mean, I feel like if thereā€™s one thing Fitzy and I both excel at, itā€™s making you angry.ā€™ā€ (542) You should never excel at making someone you care about angry. Thatā€™s not a good thing. (Yes, this applies to Fitz as well, but at least he always apologizes and makes amends. Keefe, not so much.)
ā€œā€˜Okay, but just because you guys are smart enough to think of that doesnā€™t mean the Neverseen are,ā€™ Keefe argued. ā€˜And even if youā€™re right, isnā€™t it worth it to double-check?ā€™ā€ (558) Is he really this stupid. Please tell me this isnā€™t real. Keefe. This is the Neverseen. Of course theyā€™re smart enough to think of that! Theyā€™re always a million steps ahead and for the last seven books, we know that underestimating them leads to terrible things. Keefeā€™s stupidity is really just so. Ugh. And no. Itā€™s not ā€œworth itā€ to ā€œdouble-checkā€ a place where they know the Neverseen frequently go. All Keefe ever wants to do is run straight into danger without a plan and all Sophie (and the narrative) ever does is let him without any consequences.Ā 
ā€œā€˜Yeah, well, then you proved my momā€™s a murderer, so excuse me for freaking out a little,ā€™ Keefe snapped, tearing a hand through his hair.ā€ (559) Freaking out would be understandable. And he is. But Keefe wants to go straight to London to a place where the Neverseen are known to go without a plan just because . . . he thinks it will trigger a memory. No guarantee, he just thinks it will. This guy is so stupid, and Iā€™m so tired of the way everyone in the story (mostly Sophie) just bends to his will. Because itā€™s Keefe.Ā 
ā€œā€˜I donā€™t care about safe or smart right now,ā€™ Keefe added quietly. ā€˜I care about finding the truth. Just let me walk those streets. Thatā€™s all Iā€™m asking.ā€™ā€ (559) No, ā€œall [heā€™s] askingā€ is to go to a place where they know the Neverseen go. He also literally admitted that he doesnā€™t care about safety or being smart. Why the heck does anyone take this guy seriously? He should be put in his place right now, not encouraged. But thatā€™s what the narrative does. Instead of punishing him for his reckless behavior, the narrative instead glorifies it. Not to mention, heā€™s not supposed to go anywhere the Neverseen could be right now. Because they think theyā€™re trying to kill him.Ā 
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ā€œMostly, though, sheā€™d seen Keefe like this beforeā€”dangling by such a very, very thin thread. There was too high of a risk that it would snap and heā€™d run off without her.ā€ (560) And when Keefe needs something, everyone needs to bend over backwards to accommodate him. Heā€™s such a spoiled brat and itā€™s so tiring to watch the narrative justify his actions over and over again. He gets special treatment. As soon as he needs something, even if it goes against every single logical decision that could possibly be made, Sophie will make sure he gets it. Or at least Shannon will. He should not be encouraged, he should be punished for this.Ā 
ā€œā€˜I know Iā€™ve made huge mistakes in the past, but Iā€™m trying to learn from themā€”and the last thing I ever want to do is let you down. Okay?ā€™ā€ (568) He says, while going on an excursion to a place where the Neverseen regularly go after blatantly admitting he doesnā€™t care about safety or being smart. He just wants to get his way. Thatā€™s his problem. Heā€™s so emotional, and not at all rational. He canā€™t see two steps in front of him because all he cares about is himself and what he thinks he can find, and heā€™s willing to sideline smarter ideas because he still thinks heā€™s smarter than everyone. So no, he has not learned a single thing. Itā€™s laughable that he thinks he has. And we also get more pedestalization of Sophie, with him saying he never wants to let her down. What about letting Fitz, his best friend, down? What about the rest of their team? What about Mr. Forkle? What about Alden and Della, who he thought of as his own parents? Goodness.
ā€œ[ . . . ] she was planning to use midnight as the ā€˜we need to get home and face the consequences of our actionsā€™ handy cutoff [ . . . ]ā€ (573) Itā€™s worth it to say that Sophie doesnā€™t want to go to London. She never did. She only goes because Keefe goes, and she knows that he will do something dumb if she is not there to babysit him. She knows itā€™s a bad choice, but she (rightfully) doesnā€™t trust Keefe, so she takes the responsibility to make sure they get home safe on herself because sheā€™s knows Keefe will not prioritize that. The fact that she goes is again, another clear show of her lack of faith in Keefe, because all heā€™s done is do reckless stupid things. To say Sophie trusts Keefe is blatantly false, because if she did, she would not have given into him so easily even though she herself thinks this is a bad idea and she would have trusted that he wouldnā€™t try to run off himself.
ā€œā€˜Thanks for the warning, by the way,ā€™ he told Tam. ā€˜As you can see, it worked super well.ā€™ā€ (579) Keefe is just so. I donā€™t even have the words. Not only does he not listen to Tam after being warned about a possible attempt on his life, but he literally flaunts his disobedience and stubbornness in Tamā€™s face. Heā€™s so arrogant, he literally cares about one-upping Tam over the possible attempt on his life.Ā 
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ā€œā€˜We had her,ā€™ Keefe said again. ā€˜And Tam wouldā€™ve been free if heā€™d just come with us.ā€™ [ . . . ] Just like she stopped herself from reminding Keefe that when heā€™d been with the Neverseen, thereā€™d been a moment when heā€™d chosen to help Alvar escape instead of fleeing with her and her friends. Theyā€™d have that conversation later. Once Keefe had calmed down. And once sheā€™d had more time to process what had happenedā€”because even if Tam did have a good reason for what heā€™d done, it could still end up being the kind of mistake theyā€™d all pay the price for.ā€ (587) Except they never do ā€œhave that conversation laterā€. Shannon loves to drop the ball on important conversations that should take place between Sophie and Keefe in exchange for her forced consolation scenes. Then she says that even if Tamā€™s ā€œbetrayalā€ had a good reason, theyā€™d still all pay the price. Which she never thinks about when Keefe did a similar thing in Lodestar. She never allows herself to think that Keefe may be in the wrong after Keefe escapes with Alvar and the crystal. Even though Keefe did that of his own free will and Tam was forced. Just. The double standards when it comes to anyone thatā€™s not Keefe. Itā€™s just another example of how the narrative favors Keefe.Ā 
ā€œā€˜This . . . is the nicest thing anyoneā€™s ever done for meā€”by a lot.ā€™ā€ (598) Again, with the pity-partying. I donā€™t understand why Shannon insists on making Keefe wallow in all this self-pity. He takes any opportunity to remind Sophie of just how terrible his life is, even when itā€™s not relevant, and then weā€™re supposed to believe he doesnā€™t want pity? Thatā€™s laughable. Why would he keep saying these things if he didnā€™t want pity or sympathy? Thatā€™s not how that works. Also, this statement is objectively untrue. Alden and Della cared for him as much as they could. All the adults offered their places when he didnā€™t know where to go. But, once again, Keefe only cares about what Sophie does for him. He takes everything else for granted. It makes him come off as whiny. I think offering your place to stay is a much better favor than getting someone cookies, but okay. Why must he be such a pity magnet?
ā€œā€˜I mean . . . the next time I see Bangs Boy, Iā€™m going to kick him somewhere extra sensitive.ā€™ā€ (598) For what? For helping Gisela escape? Like Keefe did with Alvar when he was with the Neverseen? Oh, what a hypocrite. By that logic, someone should kick Keefe, since he did much worse things. Hereā€™s a list: compromising Alluveterre, giving up his blood, freeing Alvar (which probably wouldnā€™t have mattered, given the whole Lumenaria thing, but Keefe didnā€™t know that at the time), being wrong several times about the Neverseen going after Grady and Edaline, giving up the cache and bringing back fakes, and giving Sophie the tracker that led the Neverseen to her and Fitz. Whereā€™s his punishment for all that? Why is everybody so ready to forgive him? Of course, Sophie doesnā€™t call Keefe out for any of that despite saying she would not even fifteen pages ago (the quote from two bullet points ago).Ā 
ā€œā€˜If you have other things to doā€”ā€™ Keefe tried to tell her. But Sophie shook her head, channeling Sandor when she told him, ā€˜I go where you go.ā€™ā€ (625) Sophie then sidelines her duties for Keefeā€™s incredibly stupid mission to find two black bottles from literal years ago. When I say the narrative favors Keefe. This is what I mean. Sophie puts Keefe above her team. She cares more about his ill-fated search for the bottles than she does about her own job. Shannon. Stop acting like everything Sophie does when she blatantly puts Keefe above everything is justified.Ā 
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ā€œā€˜Uh-uh, Foster. Youā€™re not making me sit all this out.ā€™ā€ (643) Keefe is really so dumb that even now when he has all the information, he still wants to go running straight into danger. And I think this is a good time to talk about one other thing. You can count on two things when it comes to Keefe. One: Heā€™ll always throw a pity party for himself and mope around and whine and cry and be all Itā€™s all my fault, woe is me, and then immediately follow that up with a ā€œI donā€™t want your pityā€, as if that lessens his pity-partying, and two: Heā€™ll always want to be in on the action because he thinks heā€™s smarter than everyone else, although heā€™s usually the stupidest person in the room. However, these two things are directly contradictory. If Keefe really thought everything was all his fault, he would volunteer to sit missions out. He would say that heā€™s a liability and that heā€™s trying to work on himself and that he wants to make sure he wonā€™t fuck anything else up, so heā€™d want to sit out things like this to ensure he didnā€™t mess everything up. Thatā€™s how I know he doesnā€™t actually care about anyone but himself and his wishes, and that heā€™s just trying to make everyone feel bad for him when he brings up how everything is his fault. If he really did want to change and improve, heā€™d do some self-reflection, realize heā€™s always the problem, and tell everyone that heā€™s going to not go into the field so he doesn't mess everything up like he always does. Yet, heā€™s the opposite. He always wants to go straight into the action without a thought or plan. When he throws his pity-parties, he never explains to Sophie how heā€™s going to stop himself from messing everything up again. He just says ā€œIā€™ll do better, Iā€™m trying to be betterā€, and then he just leaves it at that. If he truly felt that everything was his fault, he would not always think heā€™s smarter than everyone and override everyoneā€™s plans with his own. Bottom line is: Keefeā€™s a massive hypocrite. Every single thing he does or says is in stark contrast to something else he says or does. And the narrative just lets him get away with it, every time. He is so frustrating.Ā 
ā€œā€˜You wonā€™t be missing out on anything, except watching me fail epically at being Team Valiantā€™s leader and Fitzā€™s girlfriend,ā€™ ā€˜Youā€™re not failing at either of those things,ā€™ Keefe assured her quietly.ā€ (644) Oh, she definitely is. And Keefe is a major part of that, too, because Sophie favors him over everyone, including Fitz and her team. But thatā€™s not his fault, itā€™s the narrativeā€™s. What is his fault is telling Sophie that sheā€™s not bad at these things. Good friends know when to call out their friends on their bad behavior. They donā€™t instead tell their friends to stick their head in the sand and ignore it. They donā€™t pedestalize their friends to such an extent that they are incapable of believing they could ever be in the wrong. This is an extreme example, but if your friend was an alcoholic, would you tell them that everythingā€™s fine and that they arenā€™t failing miserably at life because theyā€™re drunk before ten in the morning everyday? No, because good friends know when to call their friends out. They donā€™t encourage it or sugarcoat it. If Keefe would stop pedestalizing Sophie, he would tell her that yes, this is all her fault, actually, and he would assure her that she can still fix her mistakes and might even give her pointers on how to do that. But Sophie is failing at these things. It does nobody any good to pretend sheā€™s not. Navigating this miserable minefield of a forced consolation scene and getting to this quote actually made me put down the book and laugh. Because seriously. How is this real? How?
ā€œAnd Sophie started to shake her head, but he reached up, gently grabbing her chin.ā€ (644) Another example of Keefe creepily touching Sophie without her permission. Itā€™s not okay, even if theyā€™re close.
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ā€œSophie closed her eyes, taking a second to remind herself that Fitz had every right to be upset. But for some reason that felt hard to believe at the moment.ā€ (675) Thereā€™s no real quote that goes with what Iā€™m about to say, so thisā€™ll have to do. This has more to do with the way Keefe is written rather than the character himself. When Keefe has a reason to go batshit, Sophieā€™s there with him, usually in an atrociously written forced consolation scene, comforting him and telling him itā€™s not his fault. When sheā€™s not, the narrative at least justifies his actions a considerable amount. Most other characters donā€™t get that same treatment. For example, Fitz. Fitz told Sophie and Keefe both (well, actually, it was forced out of him by Keefe, but details, am I right?) that he was searching for Alvar. Itā€™s that same mix of guilt and frustration and anger and embarrassment (the last two are canonically confirmed, page 367, I have the quote up there somewhere) that causes him to embark on this quest. Sound familiar? Thatā€™s exactly what Keefe feels with regards to his mom, and his feelings manifest as reckless decisions. They make him stupid. They make him overly emotional. They make him dangerous. And most notably, they make everyone fall over themselves trying to feel sorry for him. Of course, Keefe does deserve some sympathy, but the amount that the narrative showers on him is completely over-the-top. Where is that treatment for Fitz? He embarks on a mission to find Alvar to relieve himself of those same feelings, which isnā€™t viewed with nearly as much sympathy as Keefeā€™s reckless decisions to do the same with his mother are viewed with. Then when Keefe and Sophie take over his project and completely screw him over, then literally let Alvar go which is exactly what Fitz has been trying to avoid which they are fully aware of without even getting Fitzā€™s permission, the narrative makes Fitz out to be the bad person. Heā€™s just trying to do the same thing Keefe is, in a less reckless, dangerous, stupid, and emotional manner, may I add, and heā€™s instantly villainized for it. How much do you want to bet that if this exact thing had happened except it was with Gisela and Keefe, the narrative would have tripped over itself to justify Keefeā€™s (rightful) anger? Oh wait . . . it already did. With Tam in London. I almost lost sight of that moment among the mashpot of similar moments that are all designed to heap as much sympathy as possible onto Keefe. Thatā€™s what Iā€™m saying. Most people donā€™t care as much about Fitzā€™s feelings as they do Keefeā€™s, not because his feelings arenā€™t valid, but because the narrative drains any excess sympathy you might feel for him and dumps it all onto Keefe. Itā€™s nothing but biased writing.Ā 
ā€œā€˜I mean, how hard is it to shape a threat into a clever couplet or two?ā€™ā€ (694) Shannon needs to stop making the same joke about rhyming notes. Also, Keefe once again demonstrates a lack of seriousness during a crisis.
ā€œ[ . . . ] ā€˜you donā€™t have to worry. Iā€™m not going to let my mom hurt anyone.ā€™ā€ (694) As if he can control who his mom hurts. You would think he wouldā€™ve learned that by now, but itā€™s Keefe. I am not even close to being surprised. Also, another example of a forced consolation scene with no point! Yay!
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ā€œā€˜Did I not mention?ā€™ Keefe called from somewhere in the shadows. ā€˜I brought friends.ā€™ā€ (729) Exactly. So he didnā€™t have to come. He claims he came to help out with an exit strategy using Linhā€™s dwarven bodyguards, right? So really only Linh was necessary here. Keefe didnā€™t have to come at all. His excuse was pathetic. He really canā€™t stay out of the crewā€™s way, even when everyone, including Keefe himself, agrees that itā€™s the best plan. But he canā€™t help but hijack their shared plan for his own. Sound familiar? Thatā€™s right, itā€™s what he did in Nightfall and so many other books and claimed to be learning from. But this right here is proof that he didnā€™t learn anything. The crewā€™s entire plan hinged on the fact that Keefe wasnā€™t going to be in Loamnore. That was the whole point. So by coming, Keefe didnā€™t just trip up a few small details, he literally ruined their entire plan. He didnā€™t have to come, he came because he wanted to. Because, once again, he really thinks heā€™s smarter than everyone. His arrogance never fails to astound me.Ā 
ā€œAnd she wondered how much it had cost Tam to give her that warning about Keefe. How desperate heā€™d been to avoid the exact situation they were now in.ā€ (740) And Keefe knew that. He knew exactly what it would mean for him to come to Loamnore after explicitly and clearly being told not to. Heā€™s literally that ungrateful of all the warning attempts, all the ways Tam risked his life to deliver them, and completely takes Tam for granted. Heā€™s a horrible excuse for a person, honestly.Ā 
ā€œā€˜I know,ā€™ Keefe told him. ā€˜And I tried to listen.ā€™ā€ (744) What does that even mean??? Excuses, excuses, excuses. He couldā€™ve listened if his head wasnā€™t so far up his own ass. Once again, the ā€œreasonā€ that Keefe came to Loamnore was because he realized they didnā€™t have an exit strategy, right? But the exit strategy didnā€™t need him. It needed Linhā€™s bodyguards. He was completely and utterly unnecessary.
ā€œKeefe slept through the next dayā€”and Sophie chose to stay in the Healing Center with him.ā€ (774) Which she never does for anybody else. Not Fitz in Neverseen, not Biana in Nightfall. As a matter of fact, she never even checks in with Biana on-page to see how sheā€™s doing after the Nightfall incident. More examples of Sophie and the narrative favoring Keefe to such an extent itā€™s ridiculous. And of course, Sophie will neglect several things and people because of this. And itā€™s even worse because Keefe brought this all upon himself, while Biana and Fitz didnā€™t.
ā€œVictory? Didnā€™t they care about what happened to Keefe?ā€ (776) The narrative is so caught up in what happened to Keefe that itā€™s completely biased. What happened in Loamnore was a victory. Everyone survived and Enki was made to pay for what he did. That is literally a victory. But as soon as something bad happens to Keefe, thatā€™s enough to make it so that itā€™s not??? Itā€™s another example of biased writing.Ā 
ā€œHe hadnā€™t woken up the next day eitherā€”the third dayā€”even after Sophie decided to transmit the plea over and over.ā€ (778) Sophie literally stays in the Healing Center for three days to look after Keefe, whoā€™s not even awake for her to talk to or cheer up or anything. So sheā€™s effectively wasting time, but of course the narrative doesnā€™t see it that way. How else will Keefe get his special treatment? How else will Sophie neglecting everyone for Keefe be justified? Itā€™s honestly such an insult to both Sophie and Keefe as characters. Keefe is favored far too much by the story and itā€™s very obvious that Sophie would do several things for him that she wouldnā€™t for anyone else (and vice versa), like stay in the Healing Center with him while heā€™s unconscious for three days just wasting time.Ā 
Unlocked Part One (Sorry, I only finished everything up until the novella. Part Two coming soon, I guess?):
First of all, I have to say that Keefeā€™s editing of his file is just ridiculously immature, even for a sixteen(?)-year-old. Itā€™s very obvious that Shannon did this because people like Keefe so much and because sheā€™s trying to make Keefe seem ā€œcoolerā€ and more of a bad boy. Personally, I find the attempt hilariously pathetic, but it probably landed with most people, so. And his edits are so boring and unwitty, too. Typical Keefe.
ā€œSPYBALL APPROVAL: None [BUT I HAVE FRIENDS WITH CONNECTIONS, THATā€™S ALL Iā€™M SAYING. . . .]ā€ (92) Why would you. Say that. In an official file. And purposefully cast suspicion on people around you. Why.
ā€œSIGNIFICANT CONNECTIONS: [ . . . ] [SWORN PROTECTOR OF THE MYSTERIOUS MISS F]ā€ (93) I would say this is probably a joke, but given Keefeā€™s attitude throughout the series, Itā€™s very clear that itā€™s not. Why would you embarrass yourself like that in an official government file???
ā€œ[[ . . . ] SHE THINKS SHEā€™S WAY SMARTER THAN SHE IS. [ . . . ]]ā€ (93) Oh, I think sheā€™s pretty smart. Giselaā€™s shown time and time again that sheā€™s capable of outwitting and manipulating people into doing what she wants. Meanwhile, hereā€™s Keefe, a stupid teenager, who, by the way, as of this point hasnā€™t gotten the better of her even once. So Iā€™m not really sure how much we should be believing this guy.
ā€œ[[ . . . ] ā€˜HE KNOWS FOSTER BETTER THAN YOU DO! BETTER THAN SHE EVEN KNOWS HERSELFā€™?]ā€ (94) I- I donā€™t even have the words. This is the cringiest thing Iā€™ve read today. Possibly the cringiest thing Iā€™ve read this year. Why is he saying this weird shit in an official government file??? Is Shannon really that desperate to show us that Keefe has a crush on Sophie??? Also, nobody knows anyone better than they know themself. To say that is to write off someoneā€™s feelings. Sophie will always know Sophie better than Keefe knows Sophie. Thatā€™s just how it is. Also, this section is about his empathy, nothing to do with Sophie. But see how his mind jumps right to her and immediately connects her to it? That's a textbook sign of obsession and pedestalization. Sophie has nothing to do with his strong empathy. But he brings her up anyway. Thatā€™s not a good thing.Ā 
ā€œ[THOUGH . . . KEEPING IT REAL? THE FOSTER OBLIVION CAN BE KINDA NOT COOL SOMETIMES.]ā€ (94) Why the hell would you say that in an official government file??? Also, the fact that he thinks the ā€œFoster Oblivionā€ is not cool . . . like thatā€™s literally none of his business??? God, I wish people would stop harping on Sophie for being oblivious. Itā€™s literally none of their business and also not a bad thing. Sophie can decide what she wants or doesnā€™t want to believe.
ā€œ[BUT THE REST OF THE STUFF IN THIS SECTION IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GETTING REDACTED. SERIOUSLYā€”BOUNDARIES, PEOPLE! FOSTERā€™S AMAZINGā€”AND OBVIOUSLY WORKING WITH ME MAKES HER EVEN MORE AMAZING. . . . ]ā€ (97) First of all, counting out all those Os was hell (there are twenty-two). Shannon really needs to stop doing that. Thatā€™s what italics are for. Second of all, ā€œboundariesā€? Oh, wow. This is so funny, considering all the times Keefe violates Sophieā€™s boundaries all the time. So not only does he encroach on her space, now heā€™s a hypocrite. He (rightfully) thinks itā€™s weird that the Council have an entire section speculating on their relationship, but then in a previous section he says that the Foster Oblivion can be ā€œkinda not cool sometimesā€? What?
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ā€œ[[ . . . ] FOSTER GETS TO DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS, OKAY? SHE CAN LIKE WHOEVER SHE WANTS OR BE CONFUSED ABOUT WHAT SHEā€™S FEELING. SHE CAN EVEN BE OBLIVIOUSā€”ITā€™S HER LIFE. HER CHOICE. AND EVERYONE NEEDS TO STAY OUT OF IT.] [EVEN ME.] [ESPECIALLY ME. I WOULD NEVER WANT TO . . . ] [NEVER MIND. MY POINT IS, LET THE POOR GIRL FIGURE THIS OUT ON HER OWN. [ . . . ]]ā€ (98) If youā€™ve seen withcindy on YouTube, you probably know about the whole ā€œItā€™s your choiceā€ thing and how Rhysand invented feminism. If you don't, I highly recommend watching her ACOTAR videos. Theyā€™re hilarious. Anyway, thatā€™s what immediately came to mind when I read this scene. Aw, how noble Keefe is. I really wish Shannon would stop beating the audience over the head about how good and sweet and pure and selfless and kind and amazing and spectacular and perfect and angelic and endearing Keefe is. Like Shannon, show not tell. Every time Shannon wants us to see how perfect Keefe is, she just makes him spit out some bullshit that nobody would realistically say. Then he just turns around and continues with his shitty actions, and Shannon thinks that makes him the perfect guy. No, it does not. Heā€™s honestly giving fake-woke vibes with this word vomit. You know, the kind of people that say all the right things but never put it into action? Thatā€™s Keefe. He claims everyone needs to stay out of her life because itā€™s her choice, but then he goes around reading her emotions without her permission and extorting information out of her that she isnā€™t comfortable sharing. What a hypocrite. Honestly, Sophie should be running. He then says to let Sophie figure it all out herself and even he shouldnā€™t interfere, which directly contradicts all the times he himself interfered and made jokes about Sophieā€™s romantic life for his own amusement. More hypocrisy! Love this guy.
ā€œ[[ . . . ] I DIDNā€™T FIGURE IT OUT FAST ENOUGH, AND SHE USED ME FOR A WHILE. BUT THATā€™S ALL DONE NOW, AND ITā€™S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE I TAKE HER DOWN. LETā€™S MOVE ON, SHALL WE?]ā€ (98) Here, we have a serious contradiction. Weā€™re constantly told Keefe feels overwhelming guilt at his motherā€™s betrayal (for what reason, I canā€™t fathom, but whatever) and that he thinks he messes everything up. But at the same time, heā€™s also easily able to brush right past it and claim that at some point he will for sure ā€œtake her downā€ (because his arrogance is the only thing that can trump his guilt).Ā 
ā€œ[[ . . . ] I REALLY DONā€™T NEED ANYONE REMINDING FOSTER HOW MAD SHE WAS AT ME. [ . . . ]]ā€ (100) Another example of the section having nothing to do with Sophie (itā€™s about him becoming a Mercadir), yet Keefe still somehow managing to drag the topic of Sophieā€™s anger at him into it. Sheā€™s on his mind all the time. I cannot emphasize enough how strange it is to think this is a good thing. Itā€™s not romantic, itā€™s obsessive and borderline creepy. Also, Sophie is not going to read this file. Calm down, Keefe.
ā€œ[WHY IS THERE NOT A SECTION ON MY AMAZING HAIR????]ā€ (100) Have some more old-school, cringy Keefe ā€œhumorā€. Ah, itā€™s just like the good old days when he would talk about his hair almost non-stop.
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ā€œBut I was only half listening because she gets this cute little crinkle between her eyebrows when sheā€™s trying to be serious, and it makes me want to reach up and smooth her forehead with my fingertipā€”and Iā€™m betting sheā€™d think I was super weird if I did that, since itā€™s not like sheā€™s my . . . ā€ (481) Yes, this is an actual thing Shannon wrote that got past the editors without anyone dying of cringe. First of all, I hate the way Keefe talks about Sophie. Sheā€™s just this soft, kind of ditzy, child-like sort of figure in his head. He admits that he doesnā€™t care what she has to say, he just cares about how adorable she looks while she says it. This is a textbook sign of a toxic relationship. You should care about what your partner/crush says, because that shows that you see them as a person, not as your personal cover model. Also ā€œtrying to be seriousā€ paints Sophie as this impudent little child whoā€™s trying to get the attention of the older, more experienced adults and it very much implies that Sophie is not serious, but awwww, look how cute she looks trying to be serious, isnā€™t it adorable? Except Keefe and Sophie are the same age. So this is another case of textbook infantilization. I hate how this is made out to be normal and healthy in this series, it makes me so angry. And that last part isnā€™t anything specifically bad but it reads very oddly and is not at all the way real people think. What the heck.
ā€œPretty sure Iā€™m just stalling, because this feels kiiiiiiiiiiiinda pointless.ā€ (481) Not a Keefe-specific thing, but Shannon needs to stop stretching out her words like that. Especially since heā€™s literally writing this. Who writes like that??? Just underline it please, Shannon.
Thereā€™s a whole paragraph here on page 482 (if I had a digital copy I would copy-paste it here just to show you how cringy and long it is, but sadly, I donā€™t) which is clearly Shannon just trying to make Keefe look smart while also rubbing his daddy issues in our faces so we can drown in our pity for him. Itā€™s not funny, which I assume it was meant to be. It comes off really, really cringy.
ā€œIā€™m sure Iā€™ll be digging into my mess of mommy issues soon enough. For now, letā€™s get back to the day Daddy Dearest met the Mysterious Miss F, shall we?ā€ (484) Correct me if Iā€™m wrong, but the point is this whole draw-memories-and-write-about-them thing is to try to find stuff Keefeā€™s mom might have erased from his head, right? So why is he completely sidestepping that very valid quest for a deep-dive into his daddy issues? This is not an issue I have with Keefe the person, but rather the way heā€™s written. Shannon sidesteps what makes logical sense for the story in order to fluff up the story with more Keefe content. In other words, the storyā€™s coherence and logic is sacrificed for more Keefe page time where it doesnā€™t make sense. And Iā€™m sick of it. Itā€™s ridiculous, and nothing short of shameless fanservice.
ā€œOnce they do, they either feel awkward, or weird, or they start pitying me for having such a horrible family.ā€ (485) Maybe if you wouldnā€™t talk about it all the time and rub it in peopleā€™s faces all the time, people would pity you less, hm? (And I am not saying Keefe shouldnā€™t talk about it, by the way. I'm just saying talking about it so much is not indicative of a person who wants to repress this or doesnā€™t want people to pity them. If Keefe truly didnā€™t want anyoneā€™s pity, he wouldnā€™t keep bringing up his family all the time when itā€™s not necessary. But he does. Itā€™s really contradictory. Pick a lane, Shannon.) Itā€™s very clear Shannon only has Keefe constantly talk about how much he hates everyoneā€™s pity because she needs to hide the fact that half the time, heā€™s the one committing that particular act.Ā 
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ā€œThankfully, Foster didn't do that. She just felt sadā€”and a little bit indignant. And if I hadn't already known I liked her, I wouldā€™veā€”ā€ (486) First of all, what? Sophie has pitied Keefe for his horrible family several times over the course of the story. Itā€™s constantly shoved in our face as every single other character takes a backseat in the story because poor, precious Keefe needs his pity from the audience, remember? So heā€™s not even right. Also, how is feeling sad for someone significantly different than pitying them? In both cases, you understand what the other personā€™s going through and wish it werenā€™t that way. You feel sorrow at the other personā€™s suffering. Pity is bad, but feeling sad for someone is good? What? Shannonā€™s really out here in the trenches trying to make Sokeefe sail off of weird, irrelevantly tiny details and minute differences like this. Keefe literally says that if he hadnā€™t already liked her, he wouldā€™ve started liking her . . . because of that completely insignificant difference. What. What, what, what. The entire point of this horrifically put-together explanation of the memory is to push Sokeefe. Please, can we please involve Keefe in something that isnā€™t designed to push Sokeefe? That last sentence . . . nobody talks like that. Certainly nobody writes like that. I think itā€™s supposed to be cutesy, like awwwww, look at poor Keefe with his adorable crush on Sophie, heā€™s so down bad, but it comes off so weird.
ā€œ[ . . . ] I guess that mightā€™ve also had something to do with the bumps and scrapes and broken ribs I got when Mommy Dearest and her Neverseen buddies showed up and tried to steal Silveny. [ . . . ] But thatā€™s not what this memory was about.ā€ (486-487) Once again, we are veering in the exact opposite direction of what the point of this all is. Why do we care about Sophie and Keefe on an alicorn? What exactly does that have to do with Keefe searching for memories his mom mightā€™ve taken from him? Nothing. Itā€™s just another example of Keefe and Sokeefe being pushed above all sense and logic. Itā€™s ruining the cohesiveness of the story. Why do we care? What is the point?Ā 
ā€œAll I did was make a bunch of jokes to distract herā€”and it was super fun feeling her get all annoyed and embarrassed. I mean, look at that adorable blush! I could see it even with the moonlight washing out most of the color.ā€ (488) Keefeā€™s thoughts about Sophie are truly heinous. He enjoys annoying her and embarrassing her, even back then, when he didnā€™t really know her that well? Wow, sign me up! I love it when guys annoy and embarrass me. Makes me feel really great. Definitely makes them well-rounded and grounded in reality. I suppose the comment on Sophieā€™s blush isnā€™t infantilization in this case, but the way Shannon tries so hard to push Sokeefe at every moment possible is really grating on me. And that last sentence. Who talks like that??? ā€œI could see it even with the moonlight washing out most of the colorā€ what the heck. Why does he talk so stilted like that??? Who. Talks. Like. This.
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ā€œIn fact . . . if Iā€™m keeping it real . . . Iā€™m pretty sure that blush is the reason I drew this memory. [ . . . ] That was the first time it felt like . . . maybe I had a tiny shot at making this brave, beautiful, blushing girl like me. [ . . . ] But thereā€™s a teeny, tiny chance. And thatā€™s enough. For now.ā€ (489) This all feels so incredibly forced, like Shannon wants so desperately to show you why Sophie and Keefe would be so good together before she actually puts them together. Itā€™s such an insecure way of writing. You shouldnā€™t have to spoonfeed your reader with weird rambles to show why a pair clicks. The readers should be able to see that themselves through the genuine, candid interactions you write. Through their dynamic. Through their relationship. But Sophie and Keefeā€™s relationship is chock full of boundary breaching, constant annoyance and embarrassment, and a lack of trust. So spoonfeeding it is! Also the way Keefe thinks about Sophie is just so. Ew. To me. Like itā€™s so over-the-top for no reason. Nobody thinks like this, even about their crush, even about their long-term crush, even about their long-term crush who they really, really, really like. I cannot believe this got past the editors, I am dying of cringe here. Also, I really wish Keefe would stop tacking ā€œfor nowā€ at the end every time he talks about who Sophie will pick, because it really undercuts his supposed support for her choices. What, sometime in the future, heā€™ll feel like a chance isnā€™t enough? Thatā€™s what that ā€œfor nowā€ is giving.
Keefe: I donā€™t want your pity. Also Keefe: ā€œItā€™s super, super fun to be me, isnā€™t it?ā€ (491) (Yes, I am aware that he said this in a private journal. But he says plenty of stuff like this out loud, too. So yeah, he really is just an overhyped pity magnet.)
ā€œAny trust I was supposed to earn from handing over Kenricā€™s cache vanished the second Sophie did. And I knew the Neverseen were never going to trust me.ā€ (494) He knew that from the start? And didnā€™t just leave after that? He knew his plan was hopeless and still went along with it. I know Iā€™m beating a dead horse but somehow this makes his plan even stupider than it already was, which is pretty stupid. He literally knew his plan was bullshit. And he still did it. Because he wanted to ā€œsave[] the day and fix[] everythingā€ (493). What the heck. Keefe is just. I donā€™t know how this is a real character. He is just so infuriatingly stupid, Iā€™m actually speechless.
ā€œAnd Iā€™m pretty lucky no one got seriously hurt, and that Foster forgave me. I wasn't sure if she would.ā€ (494) She really shouldnā€™t have, not without some serious work on Keefeā€™s part to gain her trust back. And what has he done since then? Oh, right, heā€™s hijacked their shared plans, refused good medical advice until he was forced to, extorted her feelings out of her, spilled personal secrets, and not agreed to stay away from the Neverseen when they thought they were specifically gunning for him. Where has he ever done anything to show even the slightest bit of development? Heā€™s basically the same Keefe. No growth, no change. It really is a miracle that Sophie forgave him. Oh, wait, no itā€™s not. Because Shannonā€™s writing the series, and she needs Sokeefe to happen. Right. I forgot.
[cut because character limit]
ā€œSometimes I still worry that some tiny part of her holds it against me. That sheā€™ll never fully trust me. That sheā€™ll always see me as the guy who betrayed her and stole from her and ran off with the enemy.ā€ (494) This would be really cool to explore if it was actually done. Sophie holding this against Keefe and struggling with that in the aftermath of Lodestar would be an awesome way to develop their relationship and have them overcome that hurdle and give them both some much needed development. But we know that aside from a single line at the beginning of Nightfall, Sophie never really blames Keefe. She just immediately forgives him for his time with the Neverseen. Itā€™s pathetic writing. Something like that should have consequences. But it doesnā€™t, because then our poor Keefe will have to be *gasp* villainized. There could be this whole arc about how Sophie doesnā€™t trust Keefe the same and it impacts their relationship subtly and both of them feel it but donā€™t want to talk about it and itā€™s this giant, gaping hole. Then finally thereā€™s a climax where Keefe confronts her about it and maybe she yells at him and he agrees that heā€™ll do anything to get her trust back. Then he does it. He does the smart thing, takes the smart advice. And he learns. He understands what he did was wrong and is truly a different person now. Honestly, the fact that Shannon explained this out shows me that sheā€™s aware the possibility of this arc exists, but unfortunately, didnā€™t actually put it into action. Would it have been the most original conflict ever? No. But it wouldā€™ve been much better than whatever this dumpster fire of a lack of an arc she actually wrote is. I think I mightā€™ve genuinely enjoyed Sophie and Keefe as a couple if sheā€™d just made them have some distrust that they overcome through genuine work and growth.
ā€œI make myself remember that expression every time I have to be around Fitzphie. It stops me from screaming, DONā€™T PICK HIMā€”PICK ME. [ . . . ] I did that. Not sure I deserve to be forgiven.ā€ (494-495) One thing I really donā€™t get is why we need this commentary. Half the actual novella is written from Keefeā€™s perspective. Iā€™m sure Shannon couldā€™ve snuck in something to this effect into his actual inner monologue. Instead, we get this incredibly unsubtle, beating-over-the-head of a pity party. The implication here is that Keefe feels if he hadnā€™t made so many mistakes, he wouldā€™ve been a better partner for Sophie than Fitz, which is not his right to decide. Even if Keefe was a perfect angel whoā€™d never made any mistake ever in his life, Sophie still has the right to choose who she wants to be with. Being a perfect person doesnā€™t automatically make you entitled to a romantic relationship. So the fact that Keefe thinks this is just so icky and gross. Seriously, the only thing stopping him from being unsupportive of Sophie and Fitzā€™s relationship (who are his friends, may I add) is the reminder of his own mistake? So if he hadnā€™t made that mistake he would shamelessly think he was a better choice for Sophie? This is borderline ā€œnice guyā€ behavior. Then at the end he throws himself a pity-party as a little cherry on top, but of course he doesnā€™t actually think that, because if he was truly worried about whether he should be forgiven or not he would try to be better. Listen more. Deflate his head a little. Stop thinking heā€™s the smartest one in the room all the time. But he doesnā€™t, because he doesnā€™t care. He is a walking contradiction, the definition of a hypocrite. He annoys the shit out of me.
Also this memory contributed nothing to finding his erased memories and was instead just another vehicle to beat us over the head with Sokeefe content, which makes the Everblaze memory the only one that has actual significance to the task at hand so far.
[cut because character limit]
ā€œI almost lost her. And if I had, it wouldā€™ve been all my fault. All of this is my . . . ā€ (497) Keefe go one page without throwing yourself a pity-party challenge (impossible). Seriously, instead of blaming himself for things that are his fault and that he can learn and grow from, he blames himself for this??? I donā€™t know how Shannon is even coming up with this stuff. But how are we going to get our pity-parties, no matter how little they make sense, if she doesnā€™t pull drama out of her ass? Also, once again, this memory has nothing to do with Lady Gisela or Keefeā€™s erased memories or anything to do with his condition at all.
ā€œThatā€™s been my plan for a long timeā€”and not because I donā€™t think she can take care of herself. Because she shouldnā€™t have to. Sheā€™s dealing with enough pressure and responsibility and people trying to kill her. If thereā€™s anything I can do to make things easier for her, Iā€™ll do it. No matter what.ā€ (499) I really wish Shannon would stop beating us over the head with all the reasons Sophie and Keefe are perfect for each other. Stop spoonfeeding us, Shannon. If they really do go together well, weā€™d be able to see it from their bond with each other. We donā€™t need to have all the reasons they should be together listed out in front of us like weā€™re reading a textbook. Shannon makes Keefe say all the perfect relationship green flags, as if any normal person talks, writes, or even thinks like this. This is an amazing example of Shannonā€™s tendency to tell, not show. Now that weā€™ve covered the tell, letā€™s talk about the show. Keefe feels the need to take care of Sophie because ā€œshe shouldnā€™t have toā€. Okay, but that goes beyond just her physical health. What about all the times sheā€™s wondered what stupid shit heā€™s going to do next and worried about him? What about her constant need to babysit him so he doesnā€™t do something dumb? What about the fact that sheā€™s started giving into his plans because she knows she canā€™t stop him (when they go to London, for example)? Does he care about her enough to think about how his decisions might affect her? Is he even really taking care of her in any effective way? Oh, and this next part actually made me laugh out loud. Sophieā€™s dealing with so much pressure and responsibility, what if I made that worse by constantly doing stupid things and making her not trust that Iā€™ll listen to good advice? What if I made that worse by making her constantly worry about me because she canā€™t trust that Iā€™ll do the smart thing? ā€œNo matter whatā€, my ass. If Sophie asks him to sit something out, he doesnā€™t. If Sophie asks him to obey good medical advice, he wonā€™t. If Sophie comes up with a plan with the group, he ruins it. Heā€™s clearly not willing to do even the most basic things for her. Again, telling us this doesnā€™t make it true, Shannon. If you look at Keefeā€™s actions throughout the story, they tell a very different story. When has Keefe ever done anything to make Sophieā€™s life easier?
Also, this is another memory that doesnā€™t add anything to Keefe trying to trigger his lost memories. Just more Sokeefe propaganda. Yes, Iā€™m calling it propaganda, because as Iā€™ve hopefully made painfully clear, often the things weā€™re being told in this commentary thing donā€™t align with Keefeā€™s actions throughout the story.
[cut because character limit]
ā€œOr the fact that I was only there because Alden basically asked me to join Team Fitzphie. (Yeah, I know. I wanted to say no. But I said yes for her. She deserves to decide what she wantsā€”even if itā€™s not me.)ā€ (500) Even if itā€™s not you? How generous of you to make that clear, Keefe. Sure, Keefeā€™s above the bar, but the barā€™s in hell, so I donā€™t really know how much that means. Also, he only came because of Sophie? Sophie? The trial wasnā€™t even personal for her. It was personal for Fitz, his supposed best friend, and Biana, who he apparently thinks of as a sister. And he came for Sophie? Keefeā€™s gargantuan tendency to pedestalize Sophie and revolve every single one of his decisions around her strikes yet again. He wanted to say no, and the thought of Sophie changed his mind. Sophie. Not Fitz and Biana, for whom this would certainly be a strenuous occasion. Sophie. Goodness.Ā 
ā€œPretty sure thatā€™s what my mom is counting on. . . . And before I go any farther down that depressing thought-path, letā€™s move on.ā€ (501) Isnā€™t that the point, though? To think about his mom and try to see if that triggers anything important? He really should go down that path. Why does Shannon keep sidestepping the actually valuable point of this exercise in favor of . . . whatever the heck it is that Iā€™m reading???
ā€œPretty sure that proves this project is a waste of time. It hasnā€™t triggered any new memories. I havenā€™t learned anything new about stellarlune, or those humans my mom killed, or the letter I delivered, or anything else. Seems like a pretty epic fail. But what else is new?ā€ (502-503) No??? Keefe cannot be this dumb. I refuse to believe it. Maybe the reason the project failed was because . . . none of the memories you chose were of your mom or anything to do with her projects, with the exception of the third and last one, and in those cases the connections to the behind-the-scenes of his momā€™s projects were so vague that itā€™s hard to get anything solid. We know for a fact that Keefe drew the human guy holding the letter. Why didnā€™t Keefe try to write about that? That actually has a connection to his momā€™s project. Same things with the shattered memory they discovered. The memory he remembered about his mom using a starstone to leap to Nightfall. The memory of his mom talking to Brant and Alvar. Anything actually connected to what heā€™s trying to find. No shit you arenā€™t going to remember stuff about stellarlune if you draw and write about riding an alicorn with your crush. Are we being for real right now??? And yeah, Shannon couldā€™ve done any of the things I just described. This Keefe-draws-his-memories-and-comments-on-them concept is actually a great idea, Shannon just used it in the worst way possible: to push Sokeefe instead of actually using it for its intended purpose. Imagine how cool it couldā€™ve been if we got a drawing and commentary on the letter or the starstone, or even anything Keefe may have seen during his time with the Neverseen. This is such a waste of potential it pains me. I really wish Shannon would stop sacrificing logic for the love triangle. Itā€™s ruining the story.
Congratulations, you made it to the end. That must've taken you at least a few hours. Go drink some water. I'm going to make a Part Two after Unraveled's release, so. That's a thing.
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mermaidfanficlibrary Ā· 1 year ago
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Hello, Hello!!
I hope my request isn't much of a burden-- however, I was wondering if you could do a one-shot with the decay of angels(Fyodor, Nikolai, and Sigma) with a male reader who has white wings?
Quick rundown for the idea;
The reader is the leader of a different organization called the Aviators; the Reader doesn't exactly have an ability but they do have wings-- the reader and their group side with the Armed Detective Agency because reader is heavily in love with bringing people to Justice, like the Decay Of Angels; however, something goes wrong and the reader gets captured while the three DOA members figure out what to do with them.
You can choose if it's more yandere-like or violent, I don't mind, really!! I usually write requests longer but I'm in a rush <\\3
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These wings bind me | Bungou Stray Dogs x Male Reader
Characters: Nikolai Gogol, Fyodor, Sigma
Summary: Those wings you had didn't even grant you freedom
Warnings: Yandere behavior, Gore, Obsessive behavior, manipulation, death, kidnapping
Taglist: @nightshade-clown
A/n: This is very Nikolai heavy because I am biased. Also, sorry, the wings aren't mentioned as much
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Y/n was a big name in Yokohama, well, a moderately big name. He was a well-known justice bringer with his group called the Aviators. It was a group of people who thought everyone deserved freedom and the choice on where their wings take them. Some of them were like Y/n, with giant wings granting them flight through the sky.Ā 
But some had abilities that helped with bringing justice into the world. Y/n heavily believed in bringing justice to everything that tried to inflict on it. The Aviators seemed to be of decent popularity that even the ADA sought them out as an extra branch. The two organizations were seen as partner groups, essentially.Ā 
Y/n still did whatever he really wanted under his association, but he would give the ADA extra people when they needed them. The same went with the ADA sending the Aviators people when they required them. It was quite the relationship between the organizations. No one really expected it, since Y/n was more about vigilante work and the ADA worked with the government in a way.Ā 
But here is the leader of the Aviators, analyzing a case with some of ADA's best detectives. Dazai, Kunikida, Autsushi and Y/n were all lurking around the crime scene, looking for any form of evidence to link anyone or anything to the scene. Y/n was with Atsushi, as not wanting to deal with Dazai's shenanigans or Kunikida's harsh comments. Atsushi and Y/n were decent acquaintances and worked well with each other.
The two made basic small talk as they searched the crime scene and conversed with passerbys to see if any of them were a reliable witness. Atsushi left Y/n on his own to look for something, though Y/n didnā€™t know what. He was on his own, just standing out in the open, it seemed pretty safe with the amount of people around. However, there was something off, and Y/n felt it.Ā 
Something in him made his white iridescent wings fluff out in anxiety. None of Y/nā€™s associates were near bye, and that worried Y/n. No one was there to protect him if something bad were to happen, well, something incredibly bad. Y/n could fend for himself, he knew basic martial arts, but against ability users all he could really do was fly to avoid as many hits as he can until back up comes.Ā 
Y/n wasnā€™t completely helpless, but he preferred being with someone who could save him if he were in trouble. Y/n didnā€™t only feel just one pair of eyes on him, but multiple. They were watching him, marking his move and every twitch he made. But Y/n didnā€™t know who was watching him.
Just as the paranoia subsided, Y/n was swept away from where he was standing. The kidnapper knocked him out, and everything else was blurry in his head. Atsushi came back only to find where Y/n stood was blank. He wasnā€™t the only one who was worried, however.Ā 
Atsushi went to his two fellow co-workers and told them what had happened, both seemingly hid their panic on the inside. Those other pairs of eyes that kept a close watch on Y/n left, to find their dearly beloved Angel. The crime scene was left barren by both the ADA and the Decay of Angels. Both were on the hunt to get Y/n back.
Sigma, Nikolai, and Fyodor looked everywhere in Yokohama, all the places they knew Y/n might have been taken. But there was no luck, not until a few days later. It was late at night, and the three DOA members followed some of what passing witnesses said they heard or saw a couple of days before. There was a tiny sliver of hope in all three men.Ā 
Nikolai was the first to step into the abandoned shed that rested near a busy roadway. It was covered in foliage and trees, keeping the whole building a secret, or so it seemed. Nikolai, however, paid no mind to any of that, only focused on finding his Angel. Fyodor and Sigma only followed Nikolai, keeping the white haired man at a distance.Ā 
The two didnā€™t trust anything about this place. They were prepared for any form of attack from anyone. Nikolai wondered in, carefree, not caring about anything else other than his Angel. The three stopped in their tracks as they heard metal bars swishing around.Ā 
Nikolai ran in deeper into the building, stopping to marvel at the sight of a beautiful golden cage. What quickly knocked him out of the trance was the iridescent, feathered wings of his Angel. Nikolai felt angry that someone would do this to his Angel, no one should cage his dearly love up like this. He jumped up against boxes that were stacked to reach the cage.Ā 
Y/n was startled by the sudden stop of the cage he was trying to escape from. He looked outside the bar with teary, enraged eyes. He was met with piercing blue gray eyes that streamed raw anger, yet there was love that trickled lightly. Y/n was left so confused as he just stared deep into the eyes that looked back.Ā 
Y/n didnā€™t notice two others walking into the room that held him in the golden cage. The metal shined slightly with the whisps of moonlight beaming through the cracks of the wooden roof. Sigma glanced up to see Nikolai gazing at Y/n, holding the cage still. Something wasnā€™t right about the whole situation.Ā 
Fyodor felt the same as Sigma as the two shared a knowing look of imminent danger. They stood back to back, covering each other's blind spots. Nikolai used his ability to bring himself into the cage. Y/n was taken aback by what this man did, why bring himself into the cage?
Nikolai crouched down to meet Y/nā€™s face, a sickly smile graced his face. It unsettled the winged boy, he tried to move out of range, but he was stuck to the floor of the cage. He felt the touch of Nikolai, and it increased the anxiety that floating in him.Ā He brought Y/n into a warm embrace, his smile not ceasing from his lips.Ā 
Nikolai gave the other two men a knowing look, and they nodded in agreement. The kidnapper seemed to notice the three and came out of the shadows. Their eyes gleamed with insanity, their laughing was incoherent to the three men and Y/n. Y/nā€™s fear was practically spilling out of his body, and Nikolai noticed.Ā 
ā€œDonā€™t worry, my dear Angel, weā€™ll set you free!ā€
Y/n felt disgusted by that nickname, coming from a stranger. There was so much going on, he didnā€™t know what to make out of anything. Nikolai covered Y/nā€™s ears and brought him even closer to him. He silently whispered to him.Ā 
ā€œNo need to be scared, my Angel. Everything will be okay. Youā€™re safe now! Sigma and Dotsoy have it all covered!ā€
Just behind Y/n, Sigma and Fyodor were fighting the kidnapper. Their anger was shown in their attacks, and it was scaring the kidnapper. The hood fell off, and it showed the face of the persecutor. Y/n glanced behind his back slightly and gasped as he saw the face of his kidnapper.Ā 
ā€œHow did you find this place?! I was sure I kept everything out of the public eye!ā€
Sigmaā€™s face stayed flat, but his emotions were clear to both the kidnapper and Fyodor. Nikolai was too busy with Y/n and comforting him to even notice. Fyodor managed to immobilize the assailant, pinning him to the ground. Sigma walked closer, as he bent down.
ā€œItā€™s easy for us to find what we want. Now you will pay for stealing from us.ā€
Sigma looked at Fyodor with an approving look. Y/n and Nikolai were watching from the cage, Nikolai waiting for a change to get Y/n out of said cage. He gripped Y/n harder, to a point it hurt, but he didnā€™t want to let the h/c haired boy go. Blood splattered everywhere, as Fyodor used his ability to get rid of this pest.Ā 
Y/n wasnā€™t shocked about the death and red soaking everything around him, but it amazed him how easily someone would end other's life. He has killed others before, but only because they were hurting and taking otherā€™s freedom. Nikolai scooped Y/n into his slender arms, hopping out of the cage, unknown to Y/n how he did, but Y/n couldnā€™t get out of his grip. Y/n was then surrounded by Sigma and Fyodor.Ā 
Y/n tried to stand, but his legs were still asleep and he collapsed. Sigma caught him, being careful of his white wings. As Sigma stroked Y/nā€™s h/c hair, loving how it felt against his fingers. Fyodor was busy taking care of the dead body, and Nikolai was gently touching Y/nā€™s wings.Ā 
Y/n looked up at Sigma, with watery eyes glistening the little moonlight that let itself into the cracks. His lips quivered a bit, fear still settling in his heart after a traumatic event. Sigma brought one of his hands to cup Y/nā€™s cheek, wiping away tears that threatened to fall. Y/nā€™s voice was sweet and soft to the three men that surrounded him, they all slightly blushed, feeling honored to hear it.Ā 
ā€œWhy did you come and save me?ā€Ā 
Fyodor came back, gently walking to the side of Y/n. Y/nā€™s e/c eyes looked at Fyodor, he stopped slightly. Oddly enough, those e/c eyes froze Fyodor right in his place. He sighed, trying to keep Y/nā€™s eyes on him.Ā 
ā€œWhy wouldnā€™t we? We adore you, my dear.ā€
Y/n was so confused and look to all three men. He didnā€™t know who any of these people were and why they were here. The silence filled the building, making Y/n even more uneasy. He wasnā€™t sure what was going to happen to him.Ā 
Y/n looked back to Sigma, hoping he could bring himself to ask the most important question. For some reason, Y/n already knew the answer based on the grip Sigma had on him.Ā The more Y/n slightly struggled to get out, the harsher Sigmaā€™s grip became. The hope Y/n had was slowly diminishing.Ā 
ā€œCan I go home now?ā€
The quiver in his voice was noticeable. Nikolai slightly hugged Y/nā€™s back as a big grin once again found its way to his face. He was noticeably giggling, seemingly finding the question Y/n asked funny. He brought a hand to pat the winged boyā€™s head.Ā 
ā€œOh, my dear Angel! Of course not! How else are we supposed to keep you safe if you go home? We canā€™t watch you every day now, can we?ā€
Y/nā€™s eyes widened, more questions and confusion were swirling in his head. Before Y/n could speak again, he was knocked out once again, but this time no one would come to save him. Fyodor carried the winged boy out of the building, leaving NIkolai and Sigma to walk behind him.Ā 
Y/n woke up in a dark room, nothing but a bed, a desk, and a bathroom as all that filled the room. The bit of light came from a small lamp on the desk. Y/n panicked and ran to the door, trying to open it, but to no avail. His wings fluffed out in panic, feathers falling due to the amount of stress Y/n was under.Ā 
Y/n fell to the ground, trying to hold in sobs. He was so busy with trying to not make a lot of noise, he didnā€™t notice the three people that came into the room. Y/n froze, feeling arms snake around his body. He frantically looked around and recognized the people as the ones who saved him.Ā 
Sigma looked down to Y/n, seeing the fear in his eyes. It did something to him, he cupped Y/nā€™s face and brought his lips to Y/nā€™s. Y/nā€™s e/c eyes widened with fear, but for some reason he couldnā€™t bring himself to push Sigma away. Fyodor and Nikolai kissed Y/nā€™s cheeks softly, trying to calm the boy down.
Sigma spoke up, his voice was warm and loving.
"No need to worry anymore my doll, you are safe now. No one will take you from us. Never again."
Y/n choked back sobs. He didn't understand what went wrong. He remembered being with Atsushi, and somehow it came to him being caged once more.
What irony this was, wanting to bring freedom to others and not having any of his own.
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Do not repost or translate without my explicit permission! Reblogs are welcome!
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olderthannetfic Ā· 4 months ago
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Hot take incoming.
People who have been traumatized or otherwise harmed by certain people (predators, etc) have every right to be upset about it, and angry, and scared about whether other people will experience the same thing. They also have a right to process their trauma in their own time, because everyone is different. It is also understandable that some people might not have access to a way to process that trauma. Lastly, obviously, people with trauma totally deserve to be included in fandom spaces as much as someone who doesn't have trauma.
Howeverā€¦ I feel like there is a line that shouldn't be crossed when engaging in certain discourse in fandom, and outside of fandom. If someone has lots of unresolved, unprocessed trauma, and because of it, they can't be (sufficiently) objective, or look at things in a more unbiased manner, they should not be engaging in discourse about things like censorship too heavilyā€”if at all. They need to postpone that until their mental health is a bit better.
Unresolved trauma can make it really hard to properly acknowledge nuance. For example, if someone's parents grabbed them, beat them, withheld food, opened locked doors on them, et al, yes, they're going to have trauma. But the question remains whether they can view something like a fictional dynamic where, for instance, someone makes amends with their parents who abused them due to mental illness, which has since been treated, with ample objectivity. Or any other, even darker topics, especially ones where toxic relationships and events are written to be erotic). It really feels like many people in fandom don't recognize they might be too biased to read something without viscerally (viscerally!) reacting, and throwing down the "ban it" card. I get the impression it's not really healthy for the individual a lot of times, too.
I've reblogged posts about why it's bad to censor sensitive topics in fandom, and I've posted some of my own commentary, which tends to be very clinical. I've had multiple strangers, at these times, create full-on essays in my inbox where, after mentioning how I seemed like a safe space, they described how they were groomed and abused by someone, and all sorts of stuff that I didn't want to read. While it was very sympathetic, they argued that x things should be censored, and nobody should be allowed to write toxic relationships, because they "knew just how bad that trauma could be," and they implored me to believe them. But even if they do have firsthand experience with that trauma, and they feel so strongly about it, does that really make their argument any more logical?
I'm convinced these people still had unprocessed trauma, so they were acting with their feelings, not their brain. I got this impression from how they completely trauma-dumped on me - I kid you not, it felt like they had to get this stuff out somehow, because they hadn't been given enough opportunity to vent before. One of these people who were in my inbox? They legitimately seemed desperate to get me to accept what they were saying. Now, it could've been a bucket of fake bullshit. But if it was real, I have to wonder how much of the incessant campaigning for censorship is actually a misguided way for people to manage and make sense of trauma, to validate it somehow, and feel like they're getting control over a situation, even if they don't realize that's what they're trying to do.
Not to claim people shouldn't be allowed to speak their minds. But, there's nuance. I feel like a lot of people in fandom need to wrap their heads around the fact that there is a large difference between being informed by trauma, and letting trauma speak for you. And the latter can often lead to bad outcomes.
--
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puppyluvfics Ā· 4 months ago
Text
NSFW Alphabet | Gaon/Kwak Jiseok
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Gaon/Kwak Jiseok | WC: 1.8k Genre: smut Summary: nsfw alphabet game thing Warnings: this is just. PURE filth. I'm sorry. (No im not). NOT proofread, just straight up rambles. BRIEF mentions of degrading... I think that's it.. lemme know if I missed something! A/N: X is excluded bc i will Not be writing about him in that kind of detail <3 Thank u anonie for requesting this one toooo <3 The rest will come soon, I promise! Also... funny how my tumblr is Mostly jiseok content when i'm joo/seumi biased... LOL i'm having a lot of fun tho so it's all good <3
A = Aftercare (what theyā€™re like after sex)
Sweet hyper boy finally relaxes. Heā€™d absolutely collapse next to you and breathe heavily, little chuckles leaving his lips while he pushed his hair away from his face. He is SO the type to reach out for you and just pat whatever he touches first, as long as itā€™s you - be it your still-shaking thigh, your stomach, hell, even your face, just so he could give you praise while you both caught your breath.Ā 
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partnerā€™s)
I donā€™t know if Iā€™d call it his favourite per se, but he loves using his lips for sure. Dragging them up and down your body slowly, teasingly, leaving small kisses and hickeys on your body - some where other people could see like your collarbone and others where only he could see, like your inner thighsā€¦ and donā€™t even get me started on the fact he would love seeing your wetness coating his lips after he ate you outā€¦
On his partnerā€¦ legs in general. Being able to grip your thighs whenever he wanted, rub his hands up and down your legs, knowing he could push them open whenever he wantedā€¦ yeah
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
In your mouth 99% of the time. The other 1% would be if he was feeling a little more needy and wanted to come on your face, but most of the time, he loves holding your head down on him, feeling himself twitch in your mouth before letting go with a shaky groan. He doesnā€™t have a preference on if you spit or swallow, at the end of the day he wants you to be comfortable, but the times you do swallow and clean up the remaining mess on his cock would always leave him shuddering with pleasure and admiration.Ā 
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He LOVES keeping dirty polaroids with him. Maybe not in his wallet where anyone could see, but for sure with him at all times, either of the both of you together or just youā€¦ itā€™s a nice reminder for him of whatā€™s waiting at home.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what theyā€™re doing?)
Heā€™s experienced at a very basic level, for sure. He knows what he likes, but he isnā€™t an encyclopedia of how to make his partner come just yetā€¦ heā€™d need a little guidance, but the smallest bit of reassurance and help and heā€™d be a master at it after a few minutes.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Cowgirl and reverse cowgirl for sure. Itā€™s not that he doesnā€™t want to put in the work, because he absolutely likes taking control, but he likes being able to grab you and watch you feel good; he loves watching you hold onto his shoulders or knees and ride him, swirling your hips and whining.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Heā€™s serious but heā€™s fun. You couldnā€™t role play with him because heā€™d end up giggling and taking himself out of it, but he doesnā€™t see sex as something funny, if that makes sense. He always has both of your pleasure in mind, but that wouldnā€™t stop him from biting at you, spanking you playfully and making it a fun experience.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Say it with me, I keep it short and simple! Heā€™ll shave it all off and keep it trimmed for a week before he just letā€™s it go again - an infinite cycle.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Heā€™s intimate but heā€™s not serious, you know? He loves being with you and feeling you, but heā€™s not about to make it a grand romantic gesture every single time. That doesnā€™t mean he wonā€™t ever make it romantic, but he likes to keep you on your toes. In more ways than one, if you catch my driftā€¦
J = Jack off (masturbation headcannon)
Heā€™s part of the population that thinks that if you jack off with your left hand, it feels like someone else is doing itā€¦ and while thereā€™s no telling if thatā€™s totally true, the fact that he always jacks off thinking about your hand moving up and down his cock or how tight you feel around him when he fucks you gets him there every time, regardless of what hand he uses.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
On par with the polaroid thing - exhibitionism - BUT!! Not in the traditinoal sense. He would never take photos or videos on either of your phones (canā€™t trust technology, honestly), but that wouldnā€™t stop him from taking polaroids of you or using a video camera to film the two of you, getting a rush from putting on a show, even if its just for the two of you to see again at a later date together.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Home! But in ā€œdangerousā€ places. What I mean is like, right next to the window where no one could see you unless they were really looking, but the idea that it could happen is such a rush for the both of you. Or even just with the windows open, that risk of being heard drives him wild.Ā 
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Donā€™t confuse this with a marking kink, but knowing that youā€™re his and knowing that you trusted him enough to be at his mercy whenever he asked gets him so hard, itā€™s insane. Heā€™d never push if you were clearly not in the mood, but if you were reciprocating, heā€™d immediately take control, reminding you that you belong to him.
N = No (something they wouldnā€™t do, turn-offs)
Heā€™s someone who also gives vanillaā€¦ so no extreme kinks. Honestly, I canā€™t even see him exploring ā€œtameā€ kinksā€¦ the farthest heā€™d go would be anal.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Since he loves coming in your mouth, heā€™s absolutely more of a receiver, but heā€™d never turn down the chance to lay between your legs and let you make a mess all over his face, his tongue skillfully flicking, his lips suctioning on you, vibrating with the hums of his moans.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
You knowā€¦ rough and slow and/or fast and sensual, depending on the situation. Heā€™d absolutely slowly pull almost all the way out before slamming his hips back into yours, making you shudder with desire and need, and there are other times where heā€™d pull you against his chest and slam into you, his lips messily kissing and sucking on your neck and jawline, small reminders of ā€œmine, all mineā€ being whispered in your ear.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Heā€™d be down for a quickie for sure, but heā€™d still make enough time for aftercare, for the both of you. Both because he enjoyed being cleaned up by you, but also praising you and reminding you that you did so good and made him feel so good. Soā€¦ I think the quickest a quickie would be for him would be the time it takes for him to come from just you sucking him off, noting that he would absolutely return the favor the next time.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
See above, with the window thing. I think heā€™d never put the two of you in real danger of being caught, but the risk of being heard through a door or a wall is something he will absolutely risk in a heartbeat.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Unfortunately, he is a one and done guy, but itā€™s not for lack of trying. You just make him come so hard the first time that heā€™s spent! I do think he would be down for a bit of edging every now and then, where heā€™d let you take some of the control where youā€™d bring him right to the edge then take your mouth away from him with a little pop, watching him writhe and beg for you to be good and let him come in your mouth.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Now!!! I personally think he would have quite a bit of fun with butt plugs. Not in himself, but for his partner. Having a small collection of them, some with heart shaped gems on the ends, some just solid silver, maybe a stray tail here or thereā€¦ heā€™d love to watch you wear one around the house for a while wearing a skirt with nothing underneath, asking you to pick up something heā€™d ā€œconvenientlyā€ drop so he could peek at the plug in you.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He teases, but not in a typical way. Itā€™s always subtle, be it teasing remarks about how good your body looks in what youā€™re wearing, how he could tell you were needy by the way you rutted against his thigh when you were in his lapā€¦ little bites on your neck to remind you he could fuck you senseless if he wanted to.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Heā€™s not a screamer but heā€™s not quiet, at all. The best way to put it is that the two of you could absolutely be heard through a wall if someone was really listening, but not loud enough to make out distinct words.
W = Wild card (a random headcannon for the character)
UMM Letā€™s talk about degradation :) I think :) he would be into that. But likeā€¦ not badly, you know? Something gives me the vibe that he would like calling you dumb - but NEVER stupid, dabbling in some other things like calling you a slut :) thatā€™s all :)
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
He is so the kind of guy to get a boner at the smallest thing, but that doesnā€™t mean heā€™s going to drop to his knees and beg for you. If youā€™re not around or not feeling it, he can think it off, but on the rare occasions he canā€™t, wellā€¦ thatā€™s what those photos and videos are for!Ā 
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)
Within the hour for sure, but not immediately! Heā€™d doze in and out for a bit, waking up to help you clean yourselves off, falling asleep after laying down in a too-comfy way, waking up again to get dressed and help you get dressed if you wanted to (heā€™d never protest naked cuddles, of course), and once it was truly all over and you were both cuddled up together, heā€™d be out. If there were things to do later in the dayā€¦ good luck, because youā€™d have to be the one to wake him.
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