#heartbreaking yet hopeful
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𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐑𝐀 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐔𝐓:
♡ Aimée likes to present herself as an 'it' girl at school. She is a known exhibitionist in town, and is rumored that she gets around.
♡ Kleptomaniac. Pickpockets people during work hours and even during encounters. It gives her a little extra cash but she does have multiple jobs. Prefers stealing things rather than actually paying for them. Has been caught before but usually with a little bit of 'persuasion', she's able to get away scot-free.
♡ A sweet talker. (turns out paying attention in English class does have its benefits) She oftentimes tries to get out of a situation by finessing people. Her mouth is probably her best asset, in more ways than one :)
♡ While Aimée doesn't outwardly harass others, she enjoys teasing and messing with them. Silver-tongued, playful and witty, she finds that she enjoys pushing peoples' buttons, and seeing how they react after a measly few words is always a fun time. And if they fall for her somehow, then that's a major plus, breaking hearts is her favorite past time ♡
♡ In private, she is actually meeker than how she shows herself to be. However, she finds comfort in this persona she's created. Everyone knows that you're easy prey if you act shy and show any vulnerability, so she's learned the hard way to always take the first bite.
♡ By being promiscuous herself, it gives her a sense of autonomy in a way. In her mind, if she objectifies herself first, then she's taking away that decision people have over her body.
♡ Her arousal is kept high at all times so she can avoid overthinking, its a way to cope from everything. Sex is a great distraction. It makes her feel good, and all she needs to do is just focus on the what was happening during the moment, and on giving the person she's with pleasure that she's very happy to provide.
♡ Can't find herself to commit to anyone due to her fear of opening herself up to others. Sex is easy. To her, it's simple. And it's something she knows she's good at. Meanwhile, feelings and emotions are messy. It complicates a lot of things. But she can't help but get attached to some people. Whenever she realizes that she's getting too close, she distances herself and quickly moves on to a new person, minimizing the chances of any feelings developing further.
♡ This is where her reputation as a heartbreaker comes from. It's not actually something she actively likes doing, but it's a way for her to get even for what they had done to her.
♡ But no matter how many times she tries to convince herself, deep down, she knows this isn't how she wants to be. She does want to make genuine connection with someone. And despite being surrounded by (mostly unwanted) attention, there's still this lingering sense of loneliness that, no matter what she does, she can't seem to get rid of.
#srry i dont write i hope its not super cringe LMFAO#it was supposed to be Aimée the player for the double meaning (PC - player character + player as in playing with peoples hearts)#but heartbreaker is soooo much cuter sorryyyy#the name Aimée means beloved :333 beloved by all and yet she is unable to love anyone else back :3333333#also btw personal fav on that playlist is senior party by renzo#degrees of lewdity#aimee the heartbreaker#whitney the bully#robin the orphan#sydney the fallen#kylar the loner#DUDE.ACTUALLY FUCK THIS SHIT. I AM SO DONE I AM NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN THIS IT THIS IS THE MOST EFFORT IM PUTTING TO A.POST#CAN ANYONE ACTUALLY FUCKING KILL ME.OR SMTHN. RENDERING BACK TO BACK TO BACK WITH CHARAVTERS INTERACTING I AM I AM NEVER.AGAIN MY GOD#GOODBYE. I WILL GO KMS OR SMTHN#ALSO I DID NOT ACCIDENTALLY POST THIS YESTERDAY U WERE HALLUCINATING.
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lottie + hugs
#i'm sure i missed some but these three are wild to me with how they show the passage of time and everything that happened in between#like that first one is her still doubting her visions but yet making sure to give van the lil amulet and telling her to be safe#and then the laura lee hug </3 a hopeful hug conveying faith that maybe she with her crazy idea to fly the plane could do it!#that this girl who listened to her showed her kindness and made her feel like she wasn't crazy for the first time in her life could do it!!#a chance to save them all!! and then the explosion happened. turning this hopeful hug into a goodbye hug </3#and then ofc the mari one. filled with guilt heartbreak and the realization of how dangerous and unpredictable the wilderness is#god you can so clearly see the guilt in her face; blaming herself for what happened to javi and what her friends had become#anyways i want to give her the biggest of hugs and tell her everything's gonna be okay :c#lottie matthews#charlotte matthews#courtney eaton#van palmer#laura lee#mari yellowjackets#akilah yellowjackets#yellowjackets#my post ♡
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"Your people need their heroes."
Their heroes:
#destiny#destiny 2#destiny the game#bungie#destiny art#lightfall#d2 lightfall#season of defiance#the young wolf#hunter guardian#warlock guardian#mara sov#pouka#d2 nimbus#d2 ghost#fanart#comics#SOME WEEKS LATE FOR W1 COMICS BUT I WAS - YKNOW - BUSY PLAYING#i still didn't even stop to read all lores yet yelp asdfghj#usually its the first thing i do but there's so much going on#let alone my jobs and comms which btw still has slots open!!#hoping this lighthearted comics cheer the community up after the heartbreaking news of weekend#siblings in light sharing the same braincells and those braincells are me#watch denka the warlock crushing on everyone bc i simply don't have a ship for him like my hunter has#separating lightfall and sodefiance plots for my hunter and warlock was the best decision i could do lkjhgfdsadfghjk#if you squint you'll see denka the warlock changed the spider crest in his torso to house light AS IT SHOULD BE#comic
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I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.
I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.
It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.
There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.
#its just like idk i dont think Curly was a bad captain because we only have this scenerio and I certainly dont think a man like Swansea#would like him or have very little issues with him specifically if he was incompentent or too lienent in the past but I do think the stress#was making him worse and worse as being a present leader as it dawned on him how much he actually had to handle like I really think he#just wanted to do yknow normal captain pilot stuff and fly the ship and yknow the little stuff like make sure things run right and over tim#the constant stress and strain of having to make every major choice started to grate on him and freak him out cause they cant even fucking#eat unless he pulls out the scanner and starts cooking like he has to choose the meal likely or have a vote and i make that part of the#reason he seems so indecisive and inactive is the fact he has to make the choice all the time and he's hoping he can at least make the crew#feel a little more in control of themselves as people by staying out of affairs like the game or disputes because god he literally has to#choose for them all the time like thats a lot of responsibility monitering their sleep their breaks food consumption thats all on him like#it really should be another persons job entirely as thats almost like absoulte contrl over the lives of everyone else that PE forces onto#that title and its also crazy how everyone accepts it even if they dont like it like they broke the food machine open rather than get the#scanner they all waited two months before Jimmy appointed himself leader its so scary how conditioned they all are to the environemnt#cause that sort of mindset is sadly real where people just wait everyone just waited until it was getting real dire and then they still#followed Jimmy without too many complaints like i saw a fic or post where Anya acknowledges they all kinda just let Jimmy do what they want#because he became the captain and it was stupid on all their parts cause they could clearly see how bad he was and yet he was captain so#they just fell in line to their roles and thats a bigger point towards how PE treated them and the complacency capitalism brings to you#just like something that irks me because idk I know Curly is slow to act but he's not as like unopinionated as people make him out to be#like he does try to find solutions but they are still restricted at the end of the day by what PE provides them and I think his biggest c#crime is being in his own head too much and not giving Anya that emotional stability cause like idk man was he supposed to go to Home Depot#himself and install like padlocks? even if the let Anya sleep in medical after she pointed it out she was already pregnant at that point#like we arent seeing the inherent issue that no one not even Anya herself was thinking of the preventative measures because a)there was a#point nothing was happening that necessitated them b) it would've been the responsibility of PE to address them pre and post incident and c#there is only one person on the entire ship given the authority to do anything. You can not make multiple important choices in one instance#in such little time and Curly should not have had that total power like i think the most interesting thing in takes that really blame Curly#is that level of control they give him over the company. Like again i think about the three days we miss between the eval/party and the#convo/crash like i think people switch them around as if those scenes happen in succession when they are broken up and its heavily implied#Curly and Jimmy just havent been talking vs the depiction that she told him and for like three days Curly was just chummy despite the fact#Jimmy and him just had a blow out fight like the next time we assume they talk is during the crash sequence cause he honestly hangs#around Anya more which i think is really important because she trust Curly to defend her himself but not his judgement to give her somethin#to defend herself as she knows he believes her but also knows she's not seeing the danger the same and its heartbreaking and more
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Hydrogen bomb (hot, kind bisexual man of color who respects women) vs coughing baby (racist sexist white guy who spread demeaning rumors about an autistic girl’s body and went full incel after sex didn’t go the way he planned)
#spider and missy COULD be cute but Spider better work on himself#otherwise I hope missy stays far far away from him#malakai mitchell#anti spider white#heartbreak high#she speaks yet they say nothing
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I had this dream... where things went another way... 1/2
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she’s so proud of herself…
#forgot all about this bonus till i rearranged my merch drawer earlier lmao#[sighs and adds to the chizuchan raws folder]#[pokes ani.mate] still no vol 2 bonuses yet…?#i hope there’s a wholesome and/or funny vol 2 bonus to offset chapters 6 and 7 (delusional)#i dont think i’ll tl the bonus manga (if there’s actually one) for vol 2 thoughhhh. im still soooooo far behind on idolsengen#in fact im so far behind that i organised my merch drawer as a means of procrastination… s i g h s#though it seems that i have more mona merch than i thought lmao.#kinda thinking of tling the volume summaries of idolsengen thoughhhh. it never crossed my mind to do it till now tbh#(the summary bits at the back of the volumes arent included with the ebook)#but aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ani.mate bonus announcements w h e n#they’re p consistent with bonuses so…#all of the artist’s previous hw manga vols ([redacted] manga included) came with bonus manga so…#a n d all 5 of idolsengen’s vols came with a bonus shikishi (s o b s) sooooooooo#no clue about the dolce manga though… that ended eons ago…#but i gotta say… the dolce manga is kinda similar in vibes to the chizuchan manga#it’s all fun and games for a while then suddenly *the plot* hits you like a truck#especially with the fuuma-centric chapters at the end of each volume… the shirayuki siblings… man.#fuuma crossdressing to look like his sister to make her dream of becoming an idol come true (if only in appearance)…#shiina being so loved by everyone around her and *so* close to becoming an idol herself…#and fuuma having to face the reality that he may not get to help his sister live out her idol dreams in the way he wants to for much longer…#…yeah. i miss dolce…#…no clue where im going with this bc this was supposed to be about chizuchan manga bonuses but here’s where we’ve ended up ig#anyways read the dolce manga. it’s good for your skin (lies)#(jk but the *plot* part of the dolce manga plot is heartbreaking. everyone should read it)#chizuchan manga 🤝 idolsengen 🤝 dolce manga: hw idol series manga with a hard-hitting *plot* underneath the frills and ribbons and silliness#(though granted idolsengen is usually only silly in the bonus chapters. thank you moge for your hard work)#o k that’s enough thinking for 1 day; back to sobbing over the shirayuki sibs
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I've never been quite as sure about a ship becoming (in some way) canon but also so sure I'm gonna be devistated by the way it happens than I am with Timebomb atm.
#Like I want to give into my hope we do get to see them actually together and happy and it not be totally heartbreaking#I have yet to see anything to give me that confidence.#On the flip side...wow I don't think I've ever been so sure a creative team is dedicated to making them happen even if it's in it#is heart breaking#Timebomb#Jinx x Ekko#Jinx#Ekko
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thinking about how sarah connor was a girl who worked in a diner and wanted to go to a late movie because her date ditched her and kissed her pet lizard on the mouth. in a deleted scene from the first film, she tells her time-traveling warrior that when this is all over, she wants to take him to disneyland. buy him a hot dog. "i want it to be over for you." when we see her again, 10 years later, she's strapped to a psych ward bed. she's screaming of the end times, how everyone is already dead, there is no future. she's snapping at her kid until he cries, because he wanted to help her.
#nurse she's talking about the ramifications of trauma in media again#i love sarah. i love her rage. i love that she's the only hope for the future.#not just because she births the leader of the revolution- because she TRAINS him#the reason sarah has to live isn't so that john can be born. it's so he can be lead by her and taught by her.#he wouldn't have the skills he needs if she didn't have them first#T1 is a good movie but it would've been elevated by the deleted scenes tbh#especially the cut line where sarah says 'i want to buy you a hot dog so bad kyle'#it's actually heartbreaking to look back on after seeing how the truth breaks her and how kyle's death affects her#all of those things she wanted to do with him- she can do with their son. the world hasn't ended yet. but it's going to and she doesn't.#she won't even share his fries#ALRIGHTTTTT IM DONE TERMINATOR POSTING FOR TODAY#terminator 2#sarah connor
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Kintsugi (Bakugo Katsuki)
A/N: I don't even care if anyone reads or likes this one. It's 100% self-indulgent. Though, I guess they all are. But this one let me get stuff off my chest that I've been bottling up.
All this to say... I've recently broken up with my boyfriend of 6 years.
The argument at the beginning is, more or less, how our last conversation went. I held back on some of the more cruel things he said to me. And the part after... that's me mending my broken heart the only way I know how to. With protective, cocky, Pro-Hero Bakugo.
You thought he was your forever... but who knew forever had an expiration date. But no worries... your shattered heart won't stay broken for long. And him, he plans to mend your shattered pieces with gold.
Warnings: Cursing from you-know-who. Suggestive talk.
Everything with him tonight felt forced. His smile wasn’t as bright, his attention a little spacey. When I gingerly walked him to his car, clutching my hurt side tightly in my hand, he spun to face me. The sheen in his eyes glossed them more than normal. My heart hammered in my chest. This look was very familiar to me. One I didn’t want to see ever again, one I was promised I’d never bear witness to again. A look I witnessed when we took our 3-month break after 3 years of being together.
With a wavering semblance of braveness, I stepped in front of him, my eyes immediately catching his as I spoke words I didn’t want to.
“Just… just talk to me, please,” I muttered, trying to get him to open up to me, to relay an ounce of what he was feeling. “I can see the pain in your eyes when you look at me, please stop hiding whatever it is you’re afraid to tell me!”
“I’m… I’m moving back home in a few months!” He shouted, a single tear streaking down his handsome face.
He knew this new adventure was something I couldn’t follow him on. He knew I had things here that tied me down to my location, my home.
“I love you more than I’ve loved anyone or anything,” he gently smiled at me, “But I can’t stay here with you any longer. This place makes me feel like my life is stagnant, like I’m wasting my time. I need to get out of here.”
“Oh.” I quietly said.
“We don’t have to split up right away. I’ll be here a few more months before I head back. We can spend our last months together, making memories.”
I nodded, a hollow feeling in my chest, and stepped back. For the first time in our 6-year relationship, I didn’t feel like seeing him or being in close proximity to him.
“Are you okay?”
I didn’t know how to answer that loaded question. My recent surgery left me weak, mentally and physically. Then the person my life circled around, the person I sacrificed pieces of myself for to make sure stayed happy, felt as though his life was stagnant. I had felt like the world’s biggest failure. What good was I if I couldn’t even make my closest friend feel like life with me was something worth sticking around for? Adding an impending expiration date on what we shared didn’t seem like the healthy option but my nerves made me keep those thoughts to myself. Maybe, just maybe, the little time afforded was better than nothing.
Silent tears streaked down my face. I gently wiped them away and looked into his alluring eyes.
“I understand that you have to go. But remember that I’ll miss you more than you can imagine.”
And he tightly pulled me into his chest, holding me close.
I quietly whispered, “I wish you would stay with me, but I understand why you have to go.”
He scoffed and pushed away from me a bit, “That’s a really selfish thing to say!”
I blinked rapidly, my eyes making contact with his, trying to figure out if his loud tone was genuine or if he was joking.
“Sorry?” I said, or more like questioned, unsure how to handle the new situation. Apologies always fell so easily from my lips in an attempt to stop the ever-ticking time bomb from combusting.
“Are you really though?” He asked, his brows furrowing as he kept me at arm’s length.
“For telling you how I really feel? No. I guess I’m sorry that I shared my feelings with you though.” I snapped back.
He gently pushed me away from his hold, pushing himself a few steps away to create space between us again.
“My life is stagnant because you made it that way! You,” and he exhaled, running his hands through his shoulder-length hair, “you made my life stagnant. You’re this burden I didn’t ask for, this dead weight that I can’t bother to carry. I deserve to live my life without dealing with your problems. I have my own to take care of.”
I loudly swallowed, attempting to keep my tears at bay. I pushed as far away as I could, not wanting him to hear the moment my heart shattered beyond repair.
“I didn’t ask for your help…” and he quickly cut off my rant.
“You’ve done absolutely nothing with your life and I don’t want that to be me! If I stay with you, here, I’ll end up sad and pathetic like you. So I’m moving.”
I nodded, putting my head down to not display the silent tears streaking down my face.
He stepped close, heavily sighing, and raised my face to look into his stupid mesmerizing eyes.
“Making you cry was the last thing I wanted to do.”
I pulled my face out of his hands, keeping my eyes to the ground.
Knowing someone I cared deeply about felt this way about me broke me to my core. He knew I felt this way about myself. He knew hearing these things would undoubtedly hurt me beyond repair. He knew this was something I struggled with immensely. Feeling like I was a burden, like I wasn’t enough, like I was just wandering through life trying to find my purpose and coming up empty-handed every time.
“We can stay together until I move, if you want. I don’t want us to end this way, on this horrible note.”
I scoffed and rolled my eyes, wondering why he thought that was something I’d even want to do. No matter how much I stupidly still loved and cared for him, being with someone when there was an expiration date didn’t feel all that healthy. Even more so when I knew I was nothing but a burden to him.
“I’d really rather not. No sense in staying some place I'm not wanted.” I exhaled, trying to stay strong and stop the tears from flowing.
“I thought you loved me?” he snarled, scoffing back at me.
“Funny, I could say the same to you. But you don’t feel that way about someone you love. Someone you love is never a burden, never dead weight. They’re someone you encourage… not put down.”
“Oh, now you’re just being a selfish asshole about it!”
I scoffed again, realizing this idiot never loved me. Not in the way that I loved him. He couldn't possibly love me with the way he was dismissing my feelings so casually. The way he always did, now that I thought about it. It was clear that he only ever loved himself.
I spun to go back inside my apartment but was quickly turned to face my new ex.
“There’s no coming back from this. Walk away now and I’ll not look back, I’ll not love you ever again.”
I roughly yanked my arm from his grasp, “Like you ever did.”
And I slammed the door in his face.
I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going, mindlessly trying to juggle everything in my hands while I made my way through the people to get to the cash register that sat on the other side of the store.
I could see my destination in sight. But before I could even make it that far someone bumped into me, sending all my held items tumbling to the floor.
I pouted and kneeled, beginning to pick them up slowly, mentally trying to figure out how I would balance them again by myself.
His voice cut through the air as he called my name. My heart clenched and I quickly looked up into his familiar mesmerizing eyes.
“Wow, it’s good to see you! You look…. well... you look great!” he smiled down at me, not helping me pick my things off the ground, just watching as I struggled.
I smiled and quietly thanked him, not wanting to be rude and have him cause a scene. I went back to my task, paying him no mind. After a few struggles, I stood, hands full once again, and saw that he was still standing in front of me. He looked down to my full arms and gave me this smug look.
“Retail therapy? Still brokenhearted after all these months?” he smirked that deadly smirk that always made my heart race.
It did absolutely nothing to me this time.
I lightly laughed.
“You think I’m still hung up on you?”
And he leaned in close to me, making me try to take a step back, newly realizing I was already far too close to a clothing display to afford that luxury.
“You’re not?” And he brushed his fingers across my new bangs, carding his hand through my hair as I tried to find a way to make space between us.
“I’d sure as hell hope not. Not when she’s got someone like me to turn to!” I heard the gruff voice behind him.
I exhaled, finally feeling more at ease.
Katsuki pushed my ex out of my personal space and grabbed all the clothes I had in my hands, tsking and glaring at my ex for not even offering me any help. He winked my way and went to the cash register, everyone parting ways for the big Pro-Hero.
My ex opened his mouth like he was going to say something. But Katsuki’s booming voice cut him off.
“Oi, short shit… get that perfect ass over here!” he said, knowing his words made my face heat up and my cheeks and ears to tinge pink.
“Sorry,” I said to my ex, passing him.
Old habits die hard.
My ex, unknowingly to me, followed slowly behind. No doubt, to see what I was doing with a Pro-Hero.
“Do you have to be so loud?” I quietly murmured, blushing Katsuki’s way.
He smirked, making my face that much more red, and pulled me tightly into himself, coiling his hands around my waist and resting them at the apex of my butt.
“I don’t havta be, sweet cheeks,” he said, nudging my nose with his perfect one, “but I want that idiot of an ex to stay the fuck away from what’s mine.”
“Yours, huh?” I smirked back, biting my lower lip.
Katsuki’s eyes immediately drifted to my lips and then his vibrant vermilion eyes met mine quickly.
“Why did you have to get so much stuff?!?” he whined, turning to the cashier who was still ringing my items up, but not daring to remove his hands from my waist.
“You said go wild!” I laughed, “You could have gotten here sooner, ya know? So you could reign me in!”
“No, no. I wanted ya to get the things ya wanted. I just… I need ya like right fuckin’ now. And this is gonna take us all day!”
“It will not, you’re such a baby!” I laughed as he grabbed me tightly in his arms, nuzzling his head into my chest as I ran my fingers through his soft hair, making him purr.
“So… you using the hero for his money?” my ex said, finally making himself known.
Katsuki didn’t move from his position, just turned his head to make eye contact with my ex. He didn’t say anything but the glare he gave him made my ex take a step back.
“It’s just… she wasn’t particularly well off when we split. And it’s only been a handful of months since then. I didn’t think she’d replace me that quickly. Not to mention, she’s probably not found anything she’s particularly good at, right? She still kinda stagnant in life?”
I loudly swallowed, trying to not let my ex’s words get to me. Before I could say anything Katsuki stood straight up but kept me tightly in his arms.
“I’m gonna explain shit to you so your dumbass might learn somethin'. One, she’s not using me for my money. I care for her deeply and takin’ care of all her needs, gettin’ to see that beautiful fuckin’ smile is worth more than money can ever buy. Two, she’s not required to figure herself out in a set timeframe. Some of us take time to grow and learn what we want outta life. What she needed was someone to challenge her, inspire her, and encourage her to do and be whatever the fuck she wants to be. Whenever the hell she wants to be it. I got nothin’ but time when it comes to her.” And he pushed my bangs back, kissing my forehead, as I blushed again.
My ex stood there, brows pulled together, mouth agape. Katsuki turned back his way, keeping me tightly to his side as his hand rubbed methodically on my bare arm.
“By the way. She’s not stagnant. I’ve had her for 4 months and she’s blossomed into everything I could have needed her to be. She’s attentive and a people pleaser. I might have taken advantage of that fact a few times. She’s understanding of me and my hero work. And she’s just genuinely great at everything she does. I wouldn’t change a fuckin’ thing about her beautiful ass. How’s your life goin’ though, pal? Weren’t you supposed to move back to your hometown or some shit like that?” Katsuki laughed, handing the cashier his card, “hey, your loss is my gain. And I ain’t letting her go as easily as you did. I’m gonna marry her and make her have all my fuckin’ kids.”
“Jokes on you, she didn’t want kids!” my ex laughed.
Katsuki smirked at him, then looked at me, “She probably didn't wanna have them with a man-child like you. But she’ll have my kids. Won’t ya, kitten?”
I nodded, blushing, thinking about all the things Katsuki was promising me. I had never met a man who knew what he wanted before. It was shocking and very refreshing.
“Also, it’s her birthday, fuck face. I’d spend my whole paycheck on her if she’d only let me.”
The cashier handed me my bags and Katsuki quickly took them from me, tucking me into his side and kissing my forehead.
“I’m not sure why you’re still hangin’ around. But we’re headin' to my place so I can give her another, bigger, better birthday gift. You’re not invited. I don't share. Later, idiot.” And he pulled us past my ex, making me smile from ear to ear.
When we stepped outside I pulled myself from Katsuki’s side, bending over, hands on my knees, to catch my breath.
“Damn, babe. Are you okay?” Katsuki asked, gently trying to move my curtained hair from my face so he could assess me.
I took a huge gasp in, throwing my head back, finally releasing my loud laugh.
He rolled his eyes lightly chuckling to himself.
“You scared the shit out of me, asshole! Jeez!” he said, grabbing my hand and pulling me to his fancy car that Valet had brought around.
“Sorry, but goodness. I couldn’t have asked for a better chance encounter with that jerk. You have just given me the most incredible birthday gift ever!” I said, finally standing in front of him, wrapping my arms around his neck, and playing with his hair that loosely hung at his nape.
“Nah, don’t think I’m done now beautiful. I got ya a lot more things waitin' up at my place.” He smirked.
“If it isn’t a puppy, I don’t want it.” I laughed, joking with him.
“What if I beg instead?” he smiled nice and big. A sight I didn’t see too often.
“I guess that works,” I said, laughing at him while he ushered me to the opened passenger door, waiting for me to get inside.
Unnecessary Extra A/N: If you did, thanks for making it this far in my ridiculous little self-indulgent story. That first bit hurt to re-read. I haven't cried much over the split. Like yeah, the first day absolutely killed me. My eyes were pretty much glued shut. I wasted 6 of my years with someone I thought was my forever. Not only that, but I was still recovering from emergency surgery and on strong pain meds. It all felt like such a horrid nightmare. But yeah... I cried reading that scene this time. Part of me sometimes thinks I overreacted to the situation. But the rational/logical part of myself felt like the split was a long time coming. Looking back at it now, the relationship was incredibly toxic. He suffered from really bad depression (way worse than my own) and I feel like I sacrificed a lot of myself to try and make sure he was happy. In doing so, I lost myself. I lost that person who loved to be artistic, crafty, and loved to write. I spent so much of my time with him, worrying over so much, that I now have the most horrid anxiety. Some days I feel I'm beyond repair. But the episodes are getting further from each other. I have felt more my original self in our time apart than I have in quite a long while. And I'm incredibly thankful for that semblance of peace I've managed to regain. Sadly, we run in the same circles, so seeing him will always be a possibility. Hopefully, I get the same kind of relief my written self got here. Someone who can appreciate me for who I am and encourage me to be an even better version of myself. I'm definitely not in a rush, since I want to get my old self back and do things that make me happy again, but patiently waiting for my Bakugo! 😆
#bakugo x reader#mha x reader#bakugo katsuki#bnha x reader#heartbreak#hopefully I stick with posting#I've written quite a lot of things in my solitude#a lot of Haikyuu pieces#a smut piece I'm especially nervous to post because I still don't know that I'm THERE yet#see... part of me thinks I knew this was coming#i was just waiting for the other shoe to drop#a Yuta piece I wrote when I was still with my ex... it's about cheating on him with Yuta and throwing away a 6-year relationship#it came from a dream I had#I've never even thought about cheating because I'm loyal to a fault... clearly#But if Yuta was real 🤔#my ex was my first EVERYTHING so I think I held on for dear life just hoping that my love would be enough#it wasn't enough for him#but i suppose one day it'll be enough for someone#sorry... I ramble
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girl who the hell is that
#i love not being up to speed bc this is the first time i’m seeing this man#i also just haven’t seen any of the characters teased for amphoreus at all#like yeah aglaea (or however the fuck you spell her name) but that’s only because ppl were spreading her drip marketing next to sunday’s#this dude? hell naw#i hope he’s ice thou we been overdue for a good ice character#who’s the last one we got? fuckass jingliu#shhh the herta ain’t out yet shhhh#speaking of herta#i did NOT know this lil lady had it in her like that bc the way she beat argenti’s ass#like omg go easy on him#hearing his ‘rise to the challenge!’ as he got fucking pummeled was heartbreaking#sweetie we don’t have to do this. please.#hsr#hsr amphoreus#hsr phainon
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I actually like the last chapter. I think the ideas are very good. I have my qualms on how some things were managed, as I always do, but I think shonen authors get tangled in the expectations of a shonen to the point it jeopardises their writing, often even when they're not lacking in skills
#I think the nothingness‚ the absence‚ the moving on despite everything‚... is a good if heartbreaking idea#and we do see snippets of it throughout the entire manga‚ yet I think it is mostly lacking in execution#I like the quiet ways in which we see the characters mourn. How Megumi laughs at the letter‚#how Shoko muses about how Satoru should have let her take care of Geto's body‚ the faint smile when Megumi agrees‚#how Shoko quits smoking again‚ Yuuji giving this person hope and a second chance‚ making a reference to him not being executed‚#and giving Sukuna too a chance for him to take one day a different path#All those are very good ideas and all those are very moving quiet ways of grieving. But. It feels in general so lacking#There's so much of everything else in contrast‚ even things that have way less importance narratively than this most of the time‚#that it feels lacking. Especially with how one has to dig to find these things. There's so much that could have been done with the same idea#And done so much better. But the idea is good. The absences are good. The quiet presences are good.The nothingness is good if bitter and sad#But it could have been written better#I also think this ending with Yuuji apparently knowing about Sukuna‚ his lies‚ his little hint of softness‚ the potential second path‚...#makes even more believable why he'd try at all to offer him a second chance. And I love that Yuuji knows him and I love that he still...#leaves the door open for that second chance to occur at some point. Trusting that Sukuna would walk that other path next time#And I love that without openly acknowledging Gojo he demonstrates that he hasn't forgotten him in his acting#How he gives that guy a second chance‚ how he jokes about him not getting executed‚ how he wants to make sure people‚ 'problem children'‚#don't get left behind. He doesn't mimick Gojo in his power but in this flippant but caring aspect and thus he's not forgotten#I do like this. It's heartbreaking. Gojo's desire to be forgotten is bittersweet as it's in a way a desire for... normalcy and humanity#To be surpassed. It goes well with how Gege says Gojo can do anything and thus why he does nothing‚ not even hobbies‚#to leave something for the future generations and not being another wall in their achievements#Gojo's desire to be forgotten is in line with the constancy of his writing when it comes to being drunk on his status#and yet resentful of his loneliness. It's a mix of being left behind and not being left behind#For being left behind and forgotten would mean he is more like the rest. Just another step forwards#And he'd have done what he wanted to achieve. Sorcerers can't stop a long while to grieve but Yuuji takes his words and actions#into consideration and steps forwards. Does the same. Fulfills Gojo's expectations. Walks towards the future. And that's the legacy Gojo#wanted and not going down in history as a legend or the strongest. He was just a teacher. Like Yaga was. He was not even the principal#Just a teacher. His role‚ the role he chose for himself‚ has been fulfilled. Now all this could have done way better#Something of Yuta and Megumi given their dynamics with Gojo would have been good. But I guess Gojo's 'at least one' works well#with Yuuji being the one doing the work. Yuuji was also ontologically alienated since birth and still he too remained cheerful and flippant#despite being so lonely so I guess the final parallel is intentional. But it could have been managed better still. The idea is good though
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That moment when you jokingly ask your friend group on Insta why none of them are following Motaz Azaiza and send them a few posts about Palestine that could interest them, even though none of them has said a single word in support in three months, and one of your oldest friend immediately react all offended, saying that they can follow who they want and they don't have to report to me, and also this isn't the place to talk about the "conflict", and not everybody has the same opinions.
... Tell me you support IsraHell without telling me you support Isntreal.
And if I'm not supposed to talk about this genocide that's breaking my heart and making me cry for the past 3 months with my friend group of 10 years, then with whom the FUCK am I supposed to talk to? The walls? The void?
#never forget to say:#free palestine#rapha talks#so disappointed in that one friend whom i've known for 12 years and is the definition of white feminist who only cares about her own issues#not surprised tho. she's a swiftie and a macroniste.#anyway i'm tired. can't even talk of my heartbreak to what i thought was a safe space#the other friends have not chimed in yet but all of them are white christians ciswomen so i'm not holding out a lot of hope
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Oh, and I know I can tell I'm falling further again But I won't turn away It's far too late for me
(It's too late for me / It's too late)
I can't really put into words how much of an iron grip this song has on me. Especially that last part, where he repeats "It's too late for me" - I can't listen to it without tearing up and waiting to sing along from the top of of my lungs. It's one of those where I desperately wish I didn't relate to it, but in a weird, sick way, I'm glad I do.
It's SUCH a cathartic feeling to just put in on full volume and sing along. I just know Vessel must've had such a visceral moment recording this (all of their songs really, but yeah).
#i could go on and on about it but i'm not really in the right mindset for coherent thoughts rn#but yeah#“i can tell i'm falling further again” - oh how i understand it#when you've been living with depression for over half of your life it's not hard to “tell” the signs#and yet it's so so impossible (it seems) to not let yourself sink down further#you've become so accustomed to it that your whole perception of reality shifts#it feels like this is as good as it gets and maybe you were never meant to break free#even when you desperately want to survive and cling onto something (that fall for me poem. ugh)#it's exhausting to try and resist so you just let yourself go#thankfully i'm in a MUCH better place i was a few years ago but this is still my daily struggle#i hope Vessel is getting all the love and hugs and forehead kisses he deserves#he sounds so fragile here it's heartbreaking#anyways#it's really late and i'm feeling emotional#sleep token#this place will become your tomb#darya's mixtape
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I refuse to read the tumblr thoughts on the ending because I know how people here work but on my side I love the ending, I always loved the ending and I am glad the anime is getting the much more possitive response it deserved in the first place. I know we don't like to see our own humanity and the contradictions that live in us but it's fantastic and I hope Isayama can see that people were just overly attached to their own version but that he gave this and incredible conclusion.
#attack on titan#aot#as someone who was betrayed by kishi and kubo someone actually having direction a vision something to say was healing#even if it was both heartbreaking yet hopeful
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⟢ highlight of the hour: our blooming youth [18/20] ⟣
the one that got away
#our blooming youth#korean drama#park hyungsik#jeon sonee#mygif#obyhoth#mmkfav#not me listening to deja vu and happier as i was creating this gif set askdjfd#this is my longest oby hoth post yet#but thats becus there was so much in this scene to unpack#it was heartbreaking watching jaeyi tell the truth to her (ex) fiancee#i know the drama never really dove deep into their relationship and soon-to-be-marriage#but ill admit that i loved the angst and the pain and heartbreak in this scene ksksks#(but sergeant han lets be fr now)#(respect jaeyi's decision plssss dont get on my bad side plsss)#i was debating between this scene and then the night library scene between cp and jaeyi#but i went with this one for the aNGST#seeing the way sergeant han took care of jaeyi and eunuch jaeyi it almost seems as if he was just destined to love and protect jaeyi#he cared for her when she was an eunuch#he was worried for her after her tragic family incident and held onto the hope that she was still alive#hes one of those characters where its as if he will always love jaeyi in every alternate universe you know what i mean??
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