#heart syntax

[actinglove]

Cheap Medicine • Nico Di Angelo/Will Solace

Will Solace has a goal. Will Solace wants to help. Will Solace is in the top ten percent of his cohort.

Nico Di Angelo hates his dad. Nico Di Angelo wants to help. Nico Di Angelo is going to do what Will couldn't.

And Rachel Dare falls sicker everyday.

read here

[ddarker-dreams]

yan scaramouche knows you so well that if a fabricated letter in your name was ever delivered to him, even if they replicate your handwriting, he'll know it's fake within the first sentence alone.

(and he claims his interest in you is 'a moderate' amount).

[hallwyeoo]

Ellie’s memory of the golfing scene and what it tells us about her.

🚨spoilers for tlou2🚨

I think Ellie’s flashback to Joel’s death is very telling of how she internalized the event and the meaning she applied to his death. It’s also a good demonstration of her relationship to autonomy. Let’s break down the elements that were inconsistent with the actual event:

The stairs/hallway are much longer than they were. This suggests a sense of helplessness, an inability to get there fast enough. Joel is constantly out of reach.

There is blood on the floor outside of the door. Not entirely certain on this one but my hunch is that she blames herself for not seeing more obvious signs of violence/not knowing something was wrong sooner.

The door is locked, another roadblock in her path to Joel. She can’t access him, she can’t help, he needs her and she isn’t there.

Most importantly. Joel yells “Ellie, help me” (which he didn’t in the actual scene, he just screams. He doesn’t say a word in the actual scene)

Ellie hearing Joel scream for her help, calling for her while being horribly beaten, and her being repeatedly impeded on her way to him suggests that what she took away from his death is that she wasn’t enough. They always helped each other, always had each others backs, always got up. Ellie views his death as a failure. She was too slow, too weak, not smart enough to save him. She failed him when he needed her most. She is absolutely helpless to save him, just like she was helpless to save Riley, Tess, Sam, and Jessie (and Marlene, and humanity, and and and-).

Once again, Ellie makes a decision (staying with Riley, going to the fireflies, staying with Joel, being the cure, trying to forgive Joel) and once again her autonomy and ability to find closure is ripped from her.

This is the inciting incident of tlou pt2, this is the moment where Ellie’s whole world shatters the same way Joel’s did at the start of pt1. Ellie enters into the same cycle (which I like to call the “Joel cycle” because… yeah.) that he did, and throughout pt2 she stays in the “20 years later” phase of the cycle. She is changed, she has lost her light, lost what she fought for. She lost her chance to genuinely forgive Joel and rebuild their relationship. She is stuck in a gruelling and violent world that she has no anchor in, at least not anymore. His death is so sudden and so incredibly violent that it practically gave her (and me as well, tbh) whiplash. She’s in a state of total shock.

On another devastating note, this is one of the three times in tlou that we see Ellie beg (that I remember). The first is begging Joel to get up at the university of Eastern Colorado, the second is begging him to get up and for Abby to stop, and the third is begging Abby to not kill Dina because she’s pregnant. (Two times she begs Joel to get up, one time he doesn’t. Two times she begs Abby to spare her family and one time she does. What a beautifully haunting contrast)

To wrap up, every person creates an internal narrative, a story of their life that is crafted from their context and lived experiences. The meaning we derive from those experiences doesn’t always reflect the truth, and that can sometimes bite us in the ass majorly when we experience a traumatic event. We tend to want to find someone or something to assign blame to, some reason or rationale to why it happened. We tell stories. We write them in our minds about ourselves and what happens to us and what that says about us.

But Ellie is wrong. Joel’s death happened in response to a conscious and willing choice he made. It is in no way her fault, and there was absolutely no way for her to know or to stop what was happening. I think Ellie knows that much on an intellectual level, It just doesn’t change how devastated she is over the whole event. It can’t change the fact that she FEELS as though this was all her fault, that Joel did what he did to save her, that she could have saved him. That she should have.

[sysig]

One better (Patreon)

[beauleifu]

I'd in an angsty mood

//TW for implicated spider demon death! (Not Syntax, just the others)

An au idea I read somewhere where Syntax was the only one who was spared and this is his reaction to finding out and Mayor telling him <3 it's short n sweet

[smallblueandloud]

nothing like the dread when a section of the notes is titled "english deep dive"

[cherrysnax]

maybe I’m “crazy” but that one anons typing style and the person who was really weird about people watching the murder video of that poor woman sounds exactly the same

[meezer]

I was so productive today. and I bought myself two posca pens

[shirogane-oushirou]

ren save me. ren. save me ren.

[twinstrangersp]

Our next VINCULA ID is for Audrey of @theheartpyre ! Another beloved member of the AD community, and an incredible author, as well! Thank you so much for your support (and the thoroughly incredible picture for the ID!)

[the-official-account]

Decided to do with my anxiety what I did with my body dysmorphia ages ago which is to beat it with the affirmation stick until it eventually becomes a central part of my belief system. This round is "I am strange and I am loved. I may be misunderstood and that does not make me alone. I am surrounded by people who accept me"

[vegalocity]

Hey, would Mo ever get involved with the Tyrant Prince au? Cause we know he’s sentient enough to recognize danger and react accordingly, as seen in Pig Pong Panic when the Fruit Babies got loose

I'm just imagining Syntax staking out Sandy's Houseboat to keep an eye on Huntsman, and noticing the Mo looking right back at him. He's shocked that he got spotted but he doesn't... THINK the cat can talk so... he'll be okay... right?

Mo casually trots away and Syntax is terrified suddenly full of anxiety over if the blue demon cat CAN in fact talk and is about to rat him out- then Mo hops onto the crates he's stationed as his stakeout nest and has a folded paper with the schematics of Sandy's security system on it in his mouth. he leaves it for Syntax, nods once and hops away to trot back over to the boat.

[shipped-to-the-stars]

No one asked but enjoy a collage I made in Photoscape X of all my Lego-centric FOs.

[allmyoldhaunts]

okay supergirl: woman of tomorrow is all that. genuinely so good wtf

[beauleifu]

Thank you kindly for feeding Syntax community with this absolute masterpiece <3

PEBBLE

PEBBLE YOU TOO BESTIE DON'T FORGET YOUR AMAZING, AND YOUR AWESOME ART keeping us all hyper fixated on Syntax once more like- this one time I was falling out of love with him (shocker i know lock me up rn), but i saw ur art and. yeah sorry the feelings came back like a boomerang

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

the most comphet thing that charles does in episode 5 isn’t even when he’s like “nah they’re just mates” or him projecting onto hunter and brad because they’re manly men and he wants them to be Good Guys bla bla bla none of that.

no, the most comphet thing in this episode is that charles rowland, light of my life, owner of my heart, saw these two scruffy scrappy stinky burly fuckboy jocks and then looked at himself, this genderfuck punk twink with the prettiest most delicate features i’ve ever seen and eyeliner and earrings and bisexual ass jacket, and edwin payne, the most clockable homosexual that has ever lived or died, the quintessential twink, with his stupid little gay bowtie and gloves and fancy jacket and button up shirt and little gay posh voice and the cunty feminine way he walks and gestures and edwardian vocabulary and syntax and everything about him and said, “they’re just like us, right edwin?” babygirl you are so delusional.

rip hunter and brad you would’ve loved being involved in both edwin’s and charles’s hate crimes </3