#heard you have hyperfixations so we put a hyperfixation in your hyperfixation so you can hyperfixate while you hyperfixate

[deep-space-lines]

it’s 3am and idk if i’m gonna finish these properly but do u see the vision. are you picking up what i’m putting down.

edit: just realized i forgot his fuckign visor can’t believe i’m a such fake fan. he is calibrating the phasers to blow me up for my crimes

[puppppppppy]

who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it

[s-awturn]

Written by Lana Del Rey || F1 Dilfs

cw: a little obscene, nostalgic feeling, cute, sweet love, some jokes about age, suggestions for sugar daddy x sugar baby behavior

a/n: I didn't tell you, but I finally got out of the unemployment statistics and this week didn't help me feed the creativity for what I have open, I sketched a few things here and there, However, nothing came out to my liking, so I focused my efforts on other things and here we are. And obviously, I'm focused on my new hyperfixation, enjoy!

starring: Toto Wolff, Sebastian Vettel, Fernando Alonso, Jenson Button, Mark Weber, Kimi Raikkonen.

TOTO WOLFF, be my daddy.

“You can be my daddy tonight-night-night

If you're seeking heaven

Then you wanna come and get it, get it”

Considering the age difference between you two was almost 25 years, you used to joke with Toto about him being your sugar daddy. Not that you were with him because of any advantage that Toto could benefit you, but that didn't mean he wouldn't give you gifts or try to make your life easier in any way he could.

And by God, he loves to spoil you, give you expensive gifts, take you to extravagant surprises, if that makes him your sugar daddy, he doesn't care, after all he's not even close to stopping.

“I already told you that you don’t need to spend money on me, Torger” You returned the box with the Bulgari emblem on the lid. You knew it was the watch you had glimpsed in the display case a few weeks ago. Toto was getting uncontrollable.

“And I couldn’t care less about that, accept it” he pushed the box back to you “there’s no chance of this being returned, just take it”

SEBASTIAN VETTEL, say yes to heaven.

“Cause I've got my eye on you

I've got my eye on you”

From the moment you met him, you knew it would be impossible to take your eyes off him. Sebastian He caught your attention from the first moment you saw him. You spent weeks talking about him, how attentive he had been in the interview he gave you, how kind and helpful he was. It was no surprise that you were in love with the Formidable Sebastian Vettel.

But it was a surprise to discover that he reciprocated your feelings.

“I thought you were reading,” he said without taking his eyes off the puzzle he was putting together. You felt your cheeks flush as you were caught red-handed.

“And I was,” you confessed, dropping the book on the arm of the couch, “but I thought I told you that sometimes it’s impossible to keep my eyes off you,” and it was his turn to blush.

FERNANDO ALONSO, off to the races.

“My old man is a tough man

But he got a soul as sweet as blood red jam

And he shows me, he knows me”

People said that Fernando had bad posture, he was a difficult guy to deal with. But you never cared about that, because with you, he was nothing more than putty in your hands, he could be as hard as a rough diamond and as sweet as fruit jelly.

Fernando didn't care about being labeled as a difficult guy, he just needed to be good to you, the rest could go away and he didn't care. It wasn't like he could stop himself from being soft on you, after all you dug deep into his chest until you had his entire heart in your hands.

“I love knowing that only I have your soft side, Nano” you say, kissing his chin before giving a startled little scream as you are thrown onto the bed.

“Not for long, tesoro” He murmurs, giving sweet bites to your bare thighs. You giggled before grabbing his hair.

JENSON BUTTON, video games.

“Heaven is a place on Earth with you

Tell me all the things you wanna do

I heard that you like the bad girls, honey

Is that true?”

If a few years ago, someone had told you that you were with Jenson Button, you would have laughed out loud in disbelief. After all, there was no way you could have fallen in love with him, not by the guy who was the very meaning of the word “scoundrel” in the dictionary. You wouldn't believe it if someone told you that Jenson would give you his very idea of Heaven on Earth, that Jenson would look at you like you were the only thing keeping him on the planet.

He made you feel unique, and to him, you are the only one.

“You should sleep, peach,” he murmurs sleepily, tightening his arm around your waist. You felt your whole body heat up, few things in the world were better than Jense's sleep-husky voice.

“I don’t feel tired, Jen” you slide your nails down the back of his neck.

“Then let me tire you out, peach” he says, getting under the sheets and the next sound was his moan across the room.

MARK WEBBER, summertime sadness.

“Kiss me hard before you go

Summertime sadness

I just wanted you to know

That, baby, you're the best”

There are the good things in life, and then there is Mark Webber. Sometimes you couldn't believe you had managed to marry him. Despite all the hustle and bustle that surrounds his life, the few intervals of time he spends with you at home, you can't help but feel lucky to have him, Mark had brought you the peace and tranquility you had been searching for.

And all of that made it worth it every time he went out to work, because Mark may have left Formula One, but Formula One never left Mark.

“Don't study too much, I know your thesis needs to be done quickly, but you need to rest, princess,” he says, watching the car pull up at the front door. “And eat right, you can't spend fifteen days eating only instant noodles”

“It's your fault if you got me addicted to your food, love... But I promise I'll take care of myself" you reply before kissing him, enjoying the last moments of his summer vacation. “Call me when you land and go to bed early, you're not young enough to stay up all night.”

He rolled his eyes “I thought we were past the age jokes phase.”

“Never”

KIMI RAIKKONEN, bad boy.

“Baby ghetto love

Mama knows I like the bad boys”

And there was nothing he could do to stop you, when he noticed, you were already infiltrated into his skin, hidden under the entire layer of ice. And Kimi wouldn't allow anyone to try to take you away from there, you had already received the title of Raikkonen girl.

He was the kind of man her mother said would break her heart, Kimi was the perfect kind of bad boy.

He wasn't called the Iceman for nothing, Kimi was the most indifferent person you've ever seen in your life, No one could be that stoic except Kimi Raikkonen. And not even his usual coldness stopped you from approaching him, you seemed drawn to him like a moth to a flame, you wanted to know what was underneath all that ice.

“Your mother hates me anyway, so what difference will a bottle of wine make?” he asks, pressing the buttons on the joystick.

“And I’m still labeled as the bad guy in this story,” he murmurs, dropping the controller anywhere before kissing her.

“It’s not for her, it’s for me,” you reply, sitting on his lap, not caring about disturbing his game. “Only drunk can I put up with you two exchanging barbs all dinner long.”

gif credits: hookhausenchips, lostfxwn, tur80, the-offside-rule, vro0m, summerblueringo.

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ALL RIGHTS RESERVED TO S-AWTURN™ 🪐. I do not allow copying or republication. Any unauthorized publication will be reported.

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[barefoot-joker]

Against Heaven and Hell~Yandere!Adam X Reader X Yandere!Lucifer

Hello, everybody! Welcome back to my Hazbin Hotel hyperfixation! Today I bring you a Yandere! Adam vs Yandere! Lucifer story. I think this one turned out alright but let me know what you think. As always, enjoy and have a great day/night!

Words: 1972

Warnings: Swearing, Adam being Adam, Car Crash, Contract Signing, Kidnapping

I bit my lip as I looked at myself in the full length mirror. The girls and I were going out tonight and I wanted to look my best. It had been a few months since we’d seen each other after all. I smoothed out my black and red plaid pants and fluffed my black dress shirt. Deciding I was presentable enough I walked to my kitchen. I grabbed my keys off the counter, put on my black bomber jacket and black boots, and walked out my apartment door. I locked the door behind me and continued my way to the elevator. Hitting the button for the first floor, I found myself tapping my foot as I waited.

Ding!

The doors opened and I walked out. I headed to the parking garage to the left of my apartment building and walked up the few flights of stairs to my car. Since I was the designated driver I made sure a few days before my vehicle was nice and tidy. I put on some tunes as I drove down several blocks before arriving near the center of the city. I parked on a side street and pulled out my phone, texting Ashley that I was ready for them. I scrolled through social media for a few minutes when there was a tap on my window. I looked up and saw Ashley, Shiloh and Tiffany standing there. I unlocked the doors and they all got in. “Hey, girl! Long time no see!” Ashley, sitting in the passenger seat, gave me a tight hug.

“It’s nice to see all of you too. Gosh, it feels like it’s been forever.”

“It really has. But no time is like the present as they say!” Tiffany piped up from the back seat. 

We all nodded in agreement. “So, where should we go?”

“How about Tito’s? I heard they have a $3 special going on tonight.” Shiloh said.

“Tito’s it is then.”

With that I started the car and drove further into the city. We arrived at Tito’s around 7 pm and after parking the car, walked inside. The bar was quite busy that night with many couples sharing tables and others taking to the dance floor as a live band played. The four of us took to a booth across from the bar and ordered our drinks. The girls had gotten some classics like a gin and tonic, old fashioned and Manhattan while I just had my favorite soda. I was the designated driver after all. We sat and chatted for hours, and it soon was 10 pm and my friends were wasted. I struggled to carry all of them to the car as they giggled drunkenly, grasping onto me tightly. “Oh my god, Y/n! You’re so cute, you know that?” Shiloh said, giggling slightly.

“Yeah, yeah.”

I had to lean Tiffany and Shiloh against the back door as I struggled to put Ashley in. “Stop, Y/n! That tickles! Stop!”

I grunted as I managed to get her in with her seat belt on. Quickly I rounded to the back of the car and started to get Shiloh in. Tiffany slid to the ground and started to laugh uncontrollably. This was going to be a rough night.

It took about 15 minutes but I had finally gotten everybody in the car. I drove everybody back to Ashley’s apartment and started to unload them into the hallway. “Y/n, please stay. We can like have a big sleepover!” Ashley slurred.

“Sorry, honey. I’ve got work in the morning. But I’m sure Tiffany and Shiloh wouldn’t mind your company.”

I leaned down to the “Welcome” mat by Ashley’s door and grabbed the spare key. Unlocking the door, I dragged in all three girls. I placed Ashley on her armchair and Shiloh and Tiffany on the couch. Once I made sure they were all cozy, I snuck out before they could grab onto me. I made sure to replace the key under the mat before I walked back to my car. 

The drive home was a bit chaotic. There were lots of people on the streets wandering around due to it being a Friday night and night life was hopping. I was placed out of my thoughts as my light turned green. I was in the middle of the intersection when suddenly my car was struck on the side by a much larger vehicle. I tried to regain control of the wheel as my stomach clenched, however, the car began to flip. I couldn’t even get a scream out as another car came and smashed into the front of mine. I could feel the car being slid across the road before slamming into a building. My head flew forwards and smacked into the wheel before flying back. My vision was doubling as I heard faint screams from the street. Just as my eyes began to close, I could have sworn I saw golden wings descending from the sky.

Before I even opened my eyes, I could feel warmth around me. It didn’t feel like a blanket or anything more like the Sun beaming down upon me. I slowly opened my eyes only to be blinded by bright light. Everything seemed to be overly saturated as I looked around and the gentle humming of violins filled the air. I sat up with a groan and held my head, a slight dull pain hitting it. What happened?

Suddenly, a set of double white doors flew open and revealed a tall, large man in a white, gold and purple robe, a demon looking mask on his face with black horns scraping behind his head. Beside him a smaller female with a black and white devilish mask, gray dress and white and black wings stood. “Ah good, you’re finally awake, babe.”

“Who are you?”

“Adam, first man. Autographs are extra, sweetheart. And this is Lute, my assistant.”

I just stared at him. What in the world? “Um, I hate to ask, but where am I?”

“You’re in Heaven, toots!”

“H-Heaven? You mean like Heaven and Hell Heaven?”

Adam’s yellow eyes rolled. “Duh! What other Heaven do you know of?”

My hands touched my chest and then my face. If I’m here does that mean-

“You’re not dead if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“Then how’d I get here? I thought only dead people saw the Pearly Gates?”

Adam’s smile grew wide and the sight of fangs alarmed me. “I may have pulled a few strings to get you here. Please hold the applause. You can thank me later.”

“Um, okay.”

“I’ll give you a few minutes to collect yourself, but don’t keep me waiting for too long.”

He snapped his fingers and the two left. When the doors closed, I took a few moments to breathe. What exactly happened? All I could remember was driving back home from Ashley’s apartment, getting into a huge car crash and golden wings descending from the sky. Could that have been Adam? But then did he know I was going to get into a wreck? Could angels predict that sort of stuff? 

I shook my head and stood up from the bed I was on. Looking down I was in a light blue medical gown and my feet were bare. Was I in a hospital back on Earth? “You almost ready in there, babe? It’s been a while.”

“C-coming.”

“Not without me I hope.”

I stopped before the door. Did he say what I think he said? Whatever.

I opened it and stepped out. “Finally. Now come on, toots. Let the first man show you around!”

Before I could say anything, he slung a tight arm around my shoulders, and we walked off. 

Heaven wasn’t quite what I expected. It was almost like the city I lived in just without what would be considered sin. Every angel smiled and waved as the three of us walked by and it was almost sickening how happy everybody was. “So how do you like Heaven, babe? Does it surpass your expectations?”

“I guess. I wasn’t really expecting to be here. How did I get here again?”

“That doesn’t matter. The important thing is that we’re together! Especially now that you’ve got a real man in your life!”

“Sir, you said you’d hold off on that information.”

“Oh what’s the big deal, Lute? Toots will be stuck here anyway.”

I stopped walking and the two turned to look at me. “Stuck here? What are you talking about? You said I wasn’t dead.”

“Not yet. But as soon as my favor goes through then you’re all mine, sweetheart.”

“F-favor? Are you going to kill me?!”

“Eh, sacrifices need to be made. But I can assure you my dick is good.” He winked.

“Get away from me!”

I bolted as fast as I could. “Lute, grab her!”

I could hear the flapping of wings as I continued to run. Just as I was rounding a corner, I could feel myself falling. It wasn’t fast but more like floating back to Earth. The light around me dissipated into a grayness and I felt myself land softly.

My eyes flickered open and it took me a few minutes to realize I was in a hospital room. I sat up quickly and looked around frantically. I couldn’t see any angels around, so I leaned back in bed. A knock sounded at the wooden door and in walked a short man with blonde hair. He had on a white dress shirt and red tie, white pants and black boots. He stopped by the side of my bed and a pleased smile graced his lips. “Thank goodness you’re alright. I thought you’d never wake up. You were in a coma for a few days.”

“You are?”

“Oh, forgive me, where are my manners? Dr Morningstar at your service. You were in quite the accident, little lady.” 

“What happened?”

“From what we were told it was quite the fatal car crash. I’m not sure how it happened, but it seems like Heaven willed it to occur.”

He grit his teeth when he mentioned the glorious upstairs. Odd.

He went back to smiling at me and I couldn’t tell if it was the lighting, but his eyes appeared red. “The most important thing is we get you better. I’m sure your husband is worried about you.”

“Oh, I’m not married.”

“I see.”

His gaze dropped to my hand and I became uncomfortable with how long it lingered there. “Well, I’d better let you rest. I’ll be back later to check up on you.”

He bowed and exited the room, closing the door behind him. What is with today?

Over the next few weeks Dr Morningstar helped me recover. My friends came and visited a couple of times which was nice. I was told I could go home at any time soon. It was late one night when Dr Morningstar came into my room. “Alrighty then Y/n, I have your discharge papers right here.”

He handed me a stack of paperwork. “I just need you to sign the bottom.”

“Of course.”

I did as he said when suddenly the lights started to flicker. The room slightly shook as Dr Morningstar suddenly summoned a cane with an apple on top. “W-what’s going on?”

“You my dear, just signed your soul to me.”

“W-what?!”

“I didn’t want to trick you like this I promise, but it needed to be done. Adam was getting too close to you.”

How could he know about Adam? 

“The douchebag spilled everything to me, trying to make me jealous I guess. But sad to say, you’re now mine.”

He walked closer and I attempted to run but was met with a whack to the head. “Sweet dreams, darling.”

My eyes couldn’t quite process the six wings and horns that my doctor gained as they closed.

Everything faded to black.

[writeaboutit]

I Lied

You and Ellie met on a dating app, you lied about something minor, and she finds out (but is cute and fluffy, and a laugh is had).

Hi haven't written anything in a long while so forgive if this is absolute shite🙏🏻🙏🏻. This just popped into my head totally not based on anything real, no definitely not.

"Hey baby," Ellie greets as she walks through your shared bedroom door. She's slightly hunched over and shuffling her feet showing that she had a long, exhausting day.

You pop off the bed and wrap her in a hug. She melts into your embrace.

"You tired baby?" you question. You can feel the movement of her nodding her head against the crook of your neck. She must be really spent if she can't even say yes.

Usually, the moment she gets home from work she's either ranting about her incompetent coworkers or she's excitedly sharing a new fact she learned about that week's hyperfixation.

Her silence is a bit off-putting. You feel the need to hear her voice so you prompt her, "What can I do for you?"

The silence rings out for a moment, the only sound to be heard is your breath and hers intermingling. Then she's responding, "You know that time you told me you cooked pad thai before we started dating?"

You furrow your brows in confusion. You can recall when you told her that over text, in the dating app you met on, but you're a bit confused as to why she's bringing it up now, or why she even remembers that at all.

"Yes," you say hesitantly, wondering where this conversation is going.

"Can you make that? It sounds so good right now." She asks with puppy dog eyes.

For a moment you're caught off guard. You never thought she would ask you to make her pad thai after that conversation and you worry for all of two seconds before bursting into laughter.

Ellie pulls away from the hug and looks at you with confusion. She props her hand on her hip and watched as you double over with laughter before righting yourself and calming down.

"Oh baby, I'm sorry but I lied," You giggle again, "I tried to make pad thai but it turned out so bad. I only told you I made a good pad thai because I wanted you to think I was this sexy girl who could cook well," you let out one last chuckle when you finish your explanation.

Ellie's jaw is hanging open, "What if I was only dating you for your pad thai-making abilities?"

You chuckle at that as well. There is no way this woman is only dating you for your cooking skills, that's for sure.

"I'd say you're full of shit. We've been dating for two years and you have not once brought up my homemade pad thai." You prop a had on you hip and raise an eyebrow waiting for her retort.

She throws her head back with a laugh before enveloping you in her arms, "You're such an idiot, I love you."

You smack her arm playfully, "Hey I'm not an idiot, and I love you too."

"You're right, you're not an idiot my love." She says the last bit against your lips before connecting them.

When you break apart she looks down at you before asking, "Well now what are we going to eat?"

You shrug, "We can order Thai food for delivery."

"See this is why I love you, you're a problem solver." She places quick kisses across your cheeks and the bridge of your nose causing you to giggle.

"Okay okay get off me so I can make the order," you laugh as you push her away.

"I love you," she throws out as you walk out of the bedroom towards the kitchen.

"Yeah, yeah." you laugh, giddy over your girlfriend.

so yeah there ya go. idk what this was i just really need to get back into the habit of writing. this wasn’t proof read so sorry about any mistakes. i’m gonna keep writing so trust better stuff will be posted🙏🏻

[b1rds3ye]

hi!!! i LOVE the masked reader content 😭💞 my hyperfixated brain is thanking u deeply

can i request a masked (w LEDs bc i love it sm) reader who's saying "i cant believe you guys didnt notice my new haircut" or something similar, having a :( face on their mask and 141 is so confused like "we cant see your hair" "you have hair? kinda thought u were bald" stuff like that 😭 its a weird idea but im craving stupid platonic fluff like that

ty for the masked reader content love u sm for it

Hehehe as someone who hyperfixates a lot I am flattered I can induce it onto someone else LMAO Just a lil Drabble for this one I couldn’t think up of much 😅

“You pissed ‘em off,” Ghost observes and Soap’s face drops into one of sheer betrayal.

“That was one time 'n' now you a' think it’s me?” Johnny jerks his head to the side in annoyance. “What about when cap’n-”

“I’m sure they can hear you,” Gaz whisper-shouts as he gestures to you. The rest of the task force look over to you sitting on the couch at the far end of the common room. Absentmindedly watching the shared television, your arms are folded with your mask in a perpetual "-_-". You make no indication that you heard them, no, you were fully set on ignoring them all morning.

"Captain what should we do?" Kyle asks.

"This isn't a mission Kyle, we can talk it out," Price sighs.

"Care to do the honours, then?"

Price stills, beady eyes sparing a glance at your unmoving figure. If the rest of the task force didn't know any better, they would think the unwavering captain was scared.

"'m busy," he replies gruffly.

"Busy" being him fishing around in his pocket for a new cigar for an impossibly long amount of time until his subordinates let him off the hook.

"L.T.?" Johnny looks to the next superior officer, to which Simon only responds with a half-hearted grunt. In truth, Simon and John have always been good at figuring out your mood. This is one of the few times they've been left stumped, clear through the silent conversation they shared as they looked at each other.

"Cowards," Johnny mutters to himself before stomping up to you, with a drawn out, sing-song (but horrendously out of tune) "bonnieeeee" announcing his presence to you. You don't even flinch.

Johnny saddles himself beside you, leaning into you. He offers you his sweetest puppy-dogs to try and placate you before he tests the waters.

"So... what's up?"

The rest of the task force was slowly joining Johnny, you could tell as Price's cigar smoke became more pungent. An explosive move by you has these grown men flinching as you pull out a strip of paper and slam it on the coffee table in front of you, mask flitting to an angry face all the while before returning to "-_-".

Simon reaches the paper first. Delicately opening the thin parchment as Kyle and John peer over his shoulder. Johnny looks up at them but stays by your side.

Simon looks at you.

"A hairdresser?"

"Got it done yesterday," you seethe. "And no one bloody noticed. They're not cheap, you know!"

Johnny tries putting a hand on your shoulder but you jerk it away. There's a heavy moment of silence as you keep laser focused on whatever the hell the television is playing. Your hands grip your biceps as you ensure they stay crossed.

Kyle eventually submits. He kneels before you, not daring to take up all the view of the screen, but just enough for him to be sure you were aware of him.

"Love, I'm gonna ask you a question. Please don't take this the wrong way."

"What?" you grumble.

Kyle takes an audible inhale. He receives an encouraging nod from Price and he needs to take a swallow to prepare. Even you have to admit the anticipation is killing you now, you offer him the relief that he indeed has your attention, mask now set with "?" over the eyes.

"... you have hair?"

You groan and swat him away as Johnny bursts out laughing. Leaning forward with your head in your hands you try to make it seem like your shaking shoulders were from devastation and not because you were laughing too.

"No, Kyle, I just thought I'd go to a hair dresser and admire everyone else's hairdos," you retort once you've recollected yourself.

"Thought you were bald," Simon muses.

"Right back at you, Skull Face."

"I'm sure it looks good, sergeant," Price encourages as he takes the receipt from Simon, inspecting the details.

"At least someone appreciates my efforts unlike the rest of you."

"How about we appreciate it more then, bonnie?" Johnny leans in mischievously. "Take that mask off. Show us how good it looks."

"Actually, I- uh... I got my hair treated. Need to keep this mask on, let it set, you know?"

Kyle tilts his head.

"That's not how it works-?"

"I've been waiting for this bit!" You exclaim as you point at the television screen. Kyle shakes his head with a smile before joining you on the couch, opposite to Johnny. Simon and John also situate themselves around the room, far enough for personal distance but close enough to still take part in conversations, and it's now a typical off-day for the 141. They may not be able to see your face - nor your improved hair - for now, but perhaps one day they'll be graced with the sight. For now, these antics around base will suffice.

Call of Duty Navigation Masked Reader Masterlist

[httpsnfwmbaby]

Why Shrike by Hozier is The Jayvik Song

In the past few days this song has carried itself through my room so many times that it can be practically heard in the walls even when it isn't playing. There isn't a song by Hozier that I do not love but I do have favourites, and Shrike has to be one of them. And given the fact that my hyperfixation on Jayvik has taken residence in the deep hallways of my mind, I was unable to stop myself from thinking of them while listening to this song. So, dear reader, enjoy my analysis of the song and my first contribution to Jayvik nation.

If you'd like to listen to the song as you read this I highly recommend the Live at Windmill Lane Studios version.

Shrike is a song conveying the story of someone who could never fully articulate the affection hidden within their ribcage to their lover. The melodic and gentle music stands as a contrast to the not so gentle imagery of the lyrics. And together they wove the tapestry of a love realised too late. That said, it is far from a gentle love - "hung like the pelt of some prey you had worn; by your grounded and giving and darkening scorn." But despite the darkening scorn of their lover, and the image of them as a hunter, they yearn for them, covering them with adoration - "your sharp and glorious thorn." And isn't that the essence of human existence (that is if you believe that everything is, indeed, about love - in any shape or form that it takes)? We love despite knowing that it might never be enough. We love despite knowing that love is a thorn that could impale us.

I couldn't utter my love when it counted Ah, but I'm singing like a bird about it now

The realisation of a love gone by sinks its teeth so deep it meets his very bones as he grieves the lack of affection bestowed upon his lover. All that is left is to wonder what to do with all this grief. Where to put it? Realising he can no longer keep it hidden inside his chest where it might bleed into his liver, he sets it free like a songbird.

Words hung above but never would form

The weight of affection that rests on one's shoulders is like a blanket of warmth. But a blanket is so easy to reshape unless it's carved out of stone. Lovers, like blankets, can also slip away from us if we are unable to convey the feelings we hold for them.

Like a cry at the final breath that is drawn

The realisation that crystalises too late. Already after their time has come to an end. It is the realisation that the sadness that now crawls its way into his existence leaves him hollow - a gosh of a person awaiting death so that he could be reunited with his lover once again, and perhaps for the first time in all its intensity.

Remember me, love, when I'm reborn As a shrike to your sharp and glorious thorn

These have to be some of my favourite lyrics ever written, for they sing of a love greater than romantic love. It is a love closer to devotion. A love that has loved, and has failed, and now it will spend decades yearning and starving - the same way a shrike will starve without its thorn. And despite it all, it is a love that survives like a prayer. It is the devotion that leaves slightly parted lips longing for a kiss. It longs to repent for its mistakes, and it vows to do so in the next life as well.

He knows his lover isn't perfect - a sharp thorn - but as he thinks of them now, he dresses them with light. A glorious thorn. He finds beauty in their flaws and their possible cruelty, for one cannot be without the other. Life is terrifying, so is beauty, and so is love. It is a testament to the fact that he doesn't see his lover as simply one or the other but as a possibility of everything they have ever been and could be to him as he can no longer think of them outside of his love.

Then when I met you, my virtues uncounted All of my goodness is going with you now

Meeting his lover has shaped him into the person he has become - it has filled him with virtue and goodness, for love makes us gentle. And far more often than not, it replaces the sun with a person as they become the sole source of all warmth. And once they are gone, that warmth leaves with them.

Dragging along, following your form Hung like a pelt of some prey you had worn

Here the uncovering of the darkness of his lover takes a firmer shape. Dragging after his lover. Following wherever they want him to go like a prey that has succumbed to its hunter. And unable to move on, hung like a pelt on his lover. With this imagery he paints himself as the victim of their hunt. While the role of his lover as the hunter stands undeniable, he plays the role of the one who remains unmoving in his love far too late of his own accord.

I fled to the city with so much discounted Ah, but I'm flying like a bird to you now Back to the hedgerows where bodies are mounted

The urgency of fleeing to a crowded place and burying oneself in the words of countless others rather than constantly grieving so much. The return to his lover - flying free of all past regrets in this new shape that he has been reborn into. To the hedgerows where bodies are mounted as a shrike who relies on its thorn not only to survive but also to fully live.

I was housed by your warmth, thus transformed By your grounded and giving and darkening scorn

Here again he praises his lover's warmth, among others, for transforming him for the better. However, there is also much imperfection to his lover as there was much imperfection to his love. Like a gathering of storming clouds, a profound feeling of disdain hangs above him, thus diming the warmth his lover had previously carved within him.

Remember me, love, when I'm reborn As a shrike to your sharp and glorious thorn

Despite it all, the affection he has for his lover is of such intensity that he will carry it into his next life. And then he will live as a shrike to their thorn. They will no longer have to seek each other out. There will be no time or place for longing or fear or aching of past mistakes. Even if tomorrow isn't certain, a shrike only needs its thorn.

And is this any different from the story of Viktor and Jayce? Viktor, much like the lover in this song, has been the one to show Jayce that he can take the path that leads him to the magic he has always dreamt of. He showed him that despite the dismissive reaction of everyone, there is someone who believes in his dream. When the world has failed him and drained him of his light, Viktor was the one to relight the fire of his ambition - becoming the pulse Jayce could hold onto instead of succumbing to the shrieking of his doubts. And he was also the one to remind him of the goodness of his intentions. It seems natural then that, when Viktor was taken away from him by death herself, Jayce could only think with a mind clouded by emotion. For how can one stay tender and true to his word with blood staining his hands? When faced with the fact that Viktor could be taken away from him, Jayce was unable to cling to principles - willing to go so far as to bring him back no matter the cost. There is no clearer declaration of selfish love than this. But something is wrong. When Viktor awakes the betrayal is stronger than Jayce’s longing, and so he leaves. It is too late. Jayce has realised his love, as it truly was, once his lover has already been destined to be taken away from him. Viktor leaves, and Jayce waits. One is selfish as he brings his love back, the other selfless as he leaves his love behind. A shrike and a thorn. And then Jayce is thrown into the alternate universe where he becomes prey haunted by the ghosts of the glorious evolution and observed by another version of his lover. Despite all his heartach, he drags himself up to meet him and he devotes his life to amend the mistakes of the past as well as the ones he has yet to let happen. It might have been his selfishness that has caused all this, but it is his selfless devotion that saves them both. And as he holds Viktor through his grief in their final moments together, as he presses their foreheads together, he is not worried for what is about to come next. Even if tomorrow isn’t certain, a shrike only needs its thorn. 

[lillotte17]

This might be kinda stream of consciousness but I am deep in hyperfixation mode and I yammered on for like 2 hours to unsuspecting victims friends who hadn't played the game and surprisingly made myself feed kind of better about The Varric Thing in the process, so I want to see if I can get it down coherently somewhere...

I am still disappointed that they killed him the way that they did. Let's just get that out of the way. I don't think it was a satisfying ending for his character. Not to mention Epler coming out and admitting verbatim that I was correct in my earlier assumption that they literally only chose to kill him to make people hate Solas. So, you know, trying to get me to hate my favorite character by making him kill one of my other favorite characters. Thanks. Real two for one special as a fan.

But anyway, Varric is dead. And Solas uses his visage to talk to Rook outside of his Time Out Box, which Epler says (with what seems to be a typical lack of insight) that Solas does this to 'keep Rook off balance, but the Fade had other ideas.' (paraphrasing) ...Right. Solas didn't know how the Fade would react to his mind magic. SOLAS. Didn't understand how the FADE works. Inside the LIGHTHOUSE. You know, the part of the Fade HE BUILT.

*rolls eyes so hard I can see Andraste*

I wish we got more information about the limitations of what Solas can actually do with this power, and how it actually works. There wasn't really a point in the game where it made sense to explain it to us, but... Yeah. The best I can tell, I think the Varric we see is mostly Rook's memory of him, and what they expect to see and hear from Varric. He's a wish. Of course Solas' memory of Varric is in there too, and he is also controlling the dialogue that happens. Solas was (and in some ways still is) a spirit, and he reflects what people expect to see in him, and this seems to continue even as he's masquerading as someone else. His version of Varric is almost Too Nice, tbh. He does not Bitch nearly enough. And I think that's because it's just...not what Rook wants or needs to hear. Solas is being Your Good Friend Varric, who never gets mad, and always wants to listen to you, so you will trust him and Tell Him Things.

Which, the knee-jerk reaction to this (as intended) is: That's Fucked Up!

And...yeah. It is.

But then I started thinking about what Solas COULD have been doing with this power. He actually tells us in the game that he has done this to people before. He spent 12 years fucking with a warlord's head so that he heard nothing but laughter. The first time I heard that, I was thinking like...a whisper campaign spreading embarrassing stories, but if you listen to how he phrases the explanation, he says that literally EVERY sound he heard became laughter. That is mind manipulation babeyyy! He is a Dreamer! He can murder people in their sleep and make them see anything he wants them to see in the Fade. You know, where Rook and Co. are living. He clearly has restrictions on this power from being in his Time Out Box, but his connection to Rook is WAY stronger than he acts like it is.

If you can make someone see things that aren't there, you can pretty much manipulate them into doing anything. You can terrorize them with their worst fears. You can isolate them by making it seem like their friends and love ones hate them. Heck, you can just make sounds and lights that interrupt their sleep constantly, and that alone will eventually break someone's mind.

Solas needs Rook to bust him out of jail. He also needs them to Not Die, so that they CAN bust him out of jail. He knows Rook will not take his support (or even most of his advice) as the Dread Wolf. So, he puts on a Varric mask, and becomes their friend. Which seems like it must take a lot of concentration and power on his end. He has Varric take a lot of sudden naps. But still. He is their friend, their mentor, the kind voice who always tells Rook that they are capable and the right person for the job. I wish the game had leaned into this more, actually. That Rook could REALLY lean on Varric in times of distress, and Varric would talk them down, so when you got to the end you're not just mad that you got tricked, but you are ALSO sitting with the fact that like...the only reason Rook was keeping their shit together was because SOLAS took up Varric's mantle as your guide and your emotional support.

That you had to deal with the fact that Solas is both Fen'Harel the God of Lies, AND the voice of kindness and Wisdom guiding you through your perils.

Because THAT is Good Soup. THAT is the moral grey goodness that so much of the game sanitized. Because the idea that Solas did something Fucked Up, but it's also the only reason you won, is kind of his Whole Deal. That's the WHOLE POINT. That he is Wisdom AND Pride. He's a loyal friend AND a lying liar who lies. That the healer has the bloodiest hands, and sometimes the only way to save the world is by being kind of an asshole.

And I don't really feel like there is a place for Rook to really come to that realization. Which is disappointing. And possibly intentional. Ugh.

[bun-z-bakery]

✧. ┊𝑆𝑙𝑒𝑒𝑝 𝑊𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝐶ℎ. 10

A/N:This is probably the longest chapter I've written so far and definitely one of my personal favorites! This hyperfixation might be permanent I fear😅 BUT I hope you enjoy! ^^

Dogday is quick on his feet; he swings his axe at the Catnap as a warning. Before Catnap can get any closer, Dogday picks you up with his free hand and runs to whatever shelter he can find.

The gas production zone elevator.

He rapidly presses the button, impatiently waiting for the doors to open. Once they finally do, he quickly rushes inside, still holding you in his arms.

He began to press the buttons like a mad man, as if it would make the doors close any faster. Once the elevator begins to move, he gently puts you down. As the elevator continues to ascend, Dogday quickly covers your eyes with his giant hand. Unfortunately, you have already caught a glimpse of the terrifying feline just as it begins to deform. He begins to growl as his hackles are now raised.

Then it hit you.

“It's not real! He's making us hallucinate!” You try to reassure him, but he ignores your words as he continues to growl. You can never be too sure what can cause harm, especially with Catnap being the main threat now. The terrifying new form of catnap begins to crawl on the chain-link fence, the only thing keeping you two safe from him. After what feels like forever, the elevator comes to a halt and the doors open. You and Dogday stay put as heavy footsteps can be heard nnearby.

He was still searching for you. Waiting for you.

You knew Catnap wanted to kill you now more than ever.

“Has he always been like this?” Your voice comes out in a whisper, he still hears you. “Unfortunately, he's always been a bit more… unstable than the rest of us. He wasn't one for getting along with others.”

You noticed Dogday's hesitation and decided not to pry. Dogday is the first to walk out, and you follow closely behind as you analyze your new surroundings. The room was cold and wires ran everywhere. You've never seen anything like it before and it gives you a bad feeling.

Before you can walk into the area further, you point to the giant machine that's hard to miss.

“It needs batteries,” Your voice caught Dogday's attention; he seemed to have been looking around as well before you interrupted.

“And look.” You point to the screen as he walks closer. The short phrase was enough to get your hearts racing.

“CATNAP IS COMING. BE READY.” Instantly you both knew what needed to be done. Before you could turn around, the screen changed and displayed a new message.

“I HOPE THIS IS COMING THROUGH… THERE'S NO TIME TO WASTE! CATNAP IS ON HIS WAY. TRY PUTTING THE BATTERIES IN THE GLOWING SPOTS.” You read out loud.

“Finished!”

Dogday exclaims proudly, showing you his work.

“Nice work sunshine! Now we should-” The screen beeped, and you turned your attention to it again as you began to read off the new message.

“TO THE LEFT AND RIGHT SIDE OF THE ROOM, IN BOTH THE FRONT AND BACK THERE SHOULD BE SMALL ALCOVES WITH TERMINALS READY FOR A CHARGE. SEE FOR YOURSELF.”

You two scour the room, looking for what you need to power the machine while attempting to keep your composer. Dogday points to the areas that need power.

“We did it!” You cheer once you see the timer counting down on the screen. Dogday wasn't celebrating, he quickly pulled you to his side while holding out his axe. You were confused and unaware, but Dogday's heightened senses catch on quickly to the new presence entering the room. You two begin to run around, Dogday does his best to stand on guard as you swing from platform to platform.

Catnap was out for blood, and he was doing everything in his power to make sure you were both dead. “ANGEL! TOP LEFT!”

Dogday shouts and uses his axe to point. You do your best to quickly switch out the battery to the new spot. Luckily, Dogday had noticed Catnap lurking in the ceiling hatch above. You quickly shut it just in time before he jumps down. After what seemed like an eternity, the machine had finally reached full charge.

A socket begins to emit a green electrical glow. “Crap, we overcharged it!”You point out. In an effort to stop the machine exploding from too much electricity, you use your grabpack hand to absorb some of the electricity. “Angel!”

Dogday shouts as you're blown backwards by the sudden explosion. Your body slams onto the cold ground. You do your best to pull yourself up as you cough out some of the smoke that you inhaled. Dogday rushes over to you, but stops in his tracks once you warn him.

You point at Catnap's sinister face that's watching you again from the top hatch. This time he jumps down before you can close it. You stare in terror, unable to speak as you and the giant feline have a stare off. You know he could see the fear in your eyes, and the way you tremble at the sight of his monstrous appearance didn't help your case.

Catnap had his sights set on you, the little mouse who survived for far too long.

You shut your eyes as his giant claws lunge towards you. You somehow avoided death for so long and accepted that your time might come to an end in this place. But you weren't expecting it to end like this, trapped and powerless unable to do anything to stop it. Your body braces for impact, awaiting the pain that comes before your inevitable death.

But the pain never came…

“DOGDAY!” You yell in terror as Dogday stops Catnap from attacking you. Now you're in the middle of a battlefield, one wrong step, and you'll be crushed.

“PLAYING HERO AGAIN DOGDAY?”

Catnap hisses at Dogday. For a second you could've sworn his orange knuckles were turning white from how tightly he clenched the axe. “THIS IS BETWEEN YOU AND ME, THEY'RE INNOCENT. JUST LIKE THE ONES YOU KILLED!”

Dogday barked back. Catnap didn't take his venomous words lightly.

“You're nothing but a HERETIC, A HERETIC THAT DESERVES TO BE CRUCIFIED AND FINALLY PUT TO REST. YOU THINK YOU'RE ABOVE MY SAVIOR?”

Catnap scoffs. His breathing became violent as their argument heated. The room was silent until Dogday spoke up.

“That THING isn't your friend and most definitely NOT your savior. HE WON'T SAVE YOU OR ANYONE, THEO.”

Theo? You thought to yourself as you continued to watch their every move. Dogday seems to have struck a nerve and hard.

“Weren't you the one who put yourself in danger only for your friends to die in the end?” Catnap chuckles darkly, Dogday growls louder as he trembles with rage. You remain seated in the same spot. You were still in Catnap's sight. No matter what you do, he can still see your every move. He was faster than you and putting Dogday's life on the line- to save yourself wasn't something you wanted to risk again.

Your grabpack hand was still over charged, the electricity was practically leaking out. You had an idea, but the timing had to be precise. “You were nothing before, and you're nothing now. You failed to save your friends, and you failed to save yourself. You'll never be the hero that gets a happy ending…” Catnap takes one last glance at you, his grin somehow grows wider as he turns back to Dogday. “And you'll never have your delusional happy ending with them.”

And with that, Catnap lunges at Dogday. The two of them brawl on the floor in front of you. You watch helplessly, there's not much you could do without being crushed, but all you need is an opening. Dogday swings his axe, slicing one of Catnap's legs, making him hiss in pain. You quickly stand and warn Dogday once you aim your grabpack hand at Catnap. Dogday jumps back just in time as you launch it, Catnap freezes and his body begins to jump violently as the electric shocks course through his body.

Dogday rushes to you and pulls you into a corner of the room, shielding your body as you both watch in horror at the sight unfolding in front of you. Catnap's body catches fire, he screams and thrashes as he tries to put out the flames. And right on cue a figure descends from the top hatch. You knew exactly what that THING was. It was HIM - the prototype. Dogday holds you closer as you shudder at the sight of the hand.

The light that shines above could've tricked anyone into thinking this thing was an actual god. Unfortunately for you, kindness is sparse here, and Catnap is figuring that out all over again as he begins to back away in fear. The prototype motions for Catnap to come closer and, without a second thought, he does. Catnap gets on his knees and begins to worship the prototype. And with a swift thrust, the prototype pierced through Catnap's skull. Killing him instantly.

His body goes limp and the two of you can only watch in fear as the prototype pulls Catnap up into the ceiling hatch by his savior. At that moment, you couldn't help but think about what you could've done differently. Sadly, not everyone can be saved.

You both stand there, trying to process everything that led up to this moment. 

“It's finally over…” He says once the ceiling hatch closes. You cling onto Dogday's arm, doing your best to comfort him. “I'm sorry it had to come to this…” You pet his arm; it was clear he wished for a different end as well.

“Um Dogday? Is everything-”

“Let's get going, my Angel.” He says once the ceiling hatch closes. He holds you close as you both head back to the elevator. Once the elevator reaches a halt, you make your way out, Dogday following closely behind as usual. You both make your way to the gas machine, and he presses the button. You both watch in silence as the gas reroutes.

“Angel…” His voice box distorts, making you freeze in place as you feel your heart slowly sinking. A loud thump and the sound of metal hitting the floor echoed within the dimly lit area.

Please, no…

You thought to yourself as you slowly turned around, instinctively looking up hoping to see Dogday staring down at you. But he wasn't there, he wasn't looking back at you. You slowly turn your gaze to the floor and there he lays, lifeless on the cold, hard floor. “D-Dogday?”

Your voice shakes as you call out to him. You fall to your knees and begin to shake him. “Wake up, please not again. Come on not again, please wake up!” You shake him harder and lightly hit his chest hoping he'll cough out red smoke again and make a joke.

“Dogday, this isn't funny, please!” Tears roll down your cheeks as you lift his hand to your head, a playful gesture he often did. It annoyed you then, but now you realize how much you took it for granted. “Rich… this time can't be the time you… the-there's probably still red smoke in the air and-” You sniffle as you try your best to hold back tears. “Please… PLEASE COME BACK TO ME!” You wail as you carefully run your hands around the injuries he received during his fight with Catnap.

Sadness is quickly replaced by anger that begins to eat away at you now. Right when you have won, everything is taken away from you again. You're convinced there must be someone praying for your downfall, and whoever it was must be happy they've succeeded in ripping away everything and everyone you loved…

You sob into his chest, forgetting about your surroundings. Right now you couldn't care less. The feeling of something heavy gently touching your head makes you flinch.

“Relax Angel, it's only me.”

You sniffle and wipe your tears before you sit up now looking down at him. From his view, the light above shines down on you at the most perfect angle, forming a halo on top of your head. If he wasn't convinced you were an angel before, he's more than convinced now.

“Heaven must've sent down its most captivating angel just for me.” He pauses. “I love you my angel.” He stares softly at you. His words sounded as sincere as his actions. His grip on your body was firm, as if he was scared you'd run away.

“You sir, gave me a heart attack for the second TIME!” You tease him as you poke his cheek and you both laugh, he wipes your tears and sighs. The air feels lighter now, everything feels perfect, like you're in your own little world. “I'm sorry my angel, the adrenaline must've been too much for me to handle.” He turns his gaze away, but you catch onto his sudden mood shift, you chuckle as you reach your hand to pet his ear.

“Hey Dogday?”

“Yes angel?”

“I love you too, my sunshine.” You kiss his cheek. This time it wasn't a kind gesture like the previous one, but rather a loving one. You were happy to give them, and he was more than happy to receive them.

“Huh, I guess that went well!” Poppy's voice from a distance catches your attention. You're still leaning on Dogday's chest, his hold on you never releasing. “I'm sorry, are we interrupting? Do you two need privacy?” Poppy snorts as she watches your face redden in embarrassment. Kissy raises her hand to her mouth and silently laughs at your embarrassment. Quickly, you rise to your feet and offer your hand to Dogday.

“Hello again ladies,” He didn't need help, but he still took your hand anyway, careful not to pull you down.

“I'm happy to see you're both safe.” Dogday smiles at them. Poppy, however, isn't too pleased to see the new injuries you both had received. “Poppy? You ok?” You ask.

“Am I ok?! Did you hit your head again?! Are YOU two ok?!” Poppy motions to you and Dogday, you can help but laugh. “I feel better than ever!” Dogday places his hands on his hips as he wags his weapon of a tail.

“I'm happy things worked out between you two, Dogday's pining was becoming painful to watch...” Poppy giggles as you raise a brow at Dogday. He innocently shrugs at you, which makes you snicker, rolling your eyes in return. “Before we continue! Let's get you patched up. I saved some of the thread just in case.” You happily point out but Dogday didn't seem too happy to endure more pain.

“I'm very proud of you two! I had faith in you both, and now we're one step closer to defeating the prototype!” Poppy exclaimed and a sense of pride washes over you. Your new achievements make you smile to yourself.

Maybe this was the end of your downfall and the start of something better.

A/N:Hey there! I hope you enjoyed ^^ I plan on posting to ao3 BUT I might rewrite the first few chapters since my writing has changed a lot! I know my first few fics bit all over the place, I was experimenting since I'm not that experienced,sorry! I'll link my ao3 once I get my PC fixed :3 reblog and likes are always appreciated! Tootles!

[actuallysaiyan]

not an ask more like me wanting to start a conversation about this fantasy about Toshinori.. What do you think his reaction would be if he found out he got his partner pregnant?👀 like, let's all put our little brains together and talk about this because I just wanna hyperfixate and nerd out in a super kinky way over this mans for a bit🫣

because in my mind, I imagine that when you call to meet up and tell him, I feel like he'd have a mini ego death upon telling him. but what're your thoughts?👀

OKAY so I waited like all day to finally type this out...please let me just write this out for you.

You sigh and run your fingers through your hair. It's been a while since you hung up the phone. He should be here any minute. You didn't tell him exactly why you were meeting him, but you figured he was smart enough to pick up through your tone that you were very serious.

he arrives at the cafe a few minutes later. Typical in Toshi fashion, he has some gifts for you. He sits in front of you after handing you a big bouquet of flowers. He's smiling though you know he's very nervous. You take a sip of the tea and then you finally look at him.

"Toshinori," you whisper. He leans in to hear you better. "I'm pregnant."

His heart stops for a moment. Did he hear you correctly? Did you just say you were pregnant? He must have heard wrong. When he doesn't react right away, you feel tears in your eyes. You had a feeling he wouldn't be happy about this.

"We don't have to...I can take care of this by myself."

His eyes widen again and he feels his heart break at this point. Is he ready to be a father? No, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to at least try and give it a shot. He's so tongue tied and panicked, and he begins to sweat.

"T-take care of this?" He asks, his tone in disbelief.

You nod, "Y-yeah. I can take care of this."

He begins to shake his head, tears stinging his eyes. There's no way he's going to let you go through anything by yourself. If you decide that you don't want to be a mom, he'll still be there with you. If you want to have a baby, he's going to put all his might behind becoming a father.

Before you can say anything else, he places his hand on top of yours. He looks at you with pure love in his eyes. Then he laughs softly.

"Sweetness, you're not doing anything alone. I'll be by your side no matter what you decide. You're stuck with me."

His words resonate within you and you're quick to sit next to him, pressing kisses all over his face. You aren't sure what you'll do, but you know that you'll always love Toshinori.

[longing4yesterday]

a little note to end the year

warning, this post is kinda long and i ramble a lot. but i wanted to bookend this year with a bit of positivity <3

2024 was one of the roughest years of my life, as i'm sure it was for pretty much everyone. life hit the hardest and i'm still feeling it now as we go into 2025. my anxiety is through the roof, i'm exhausted all the time and feeling a bought of sickness unfortunately.

however, that doesn't mean this year was completely bad.

during the summer of this year, i was feeling aimless, confused and terrified for my future. i was job searching like there was no tomorrow and every day i felt my brain melting from all the applications i was filling out and meetings i was attending with staff that help alum after graduation. during this period of time, i was starting to notice that one of my (now) mutuals was starting to rb posts and art of this little known band (have you heard of them? probably not). as if linked through their mind, i began to take an interest in them and started investigating. now, here i am, 5ish months, 7 fics and 10 physically owned albums later. there's no shaking these silly guys, they're glued to me forever, an integral part of me that has shaped me into a different person entirely. all this from just a couple posts.

when i first dipped my toes here, i thought i was in for what i'd experienced before; pre-formed cliques that were tight knit and exclusive. essentially, i was worried i was going to be screaming into the void again. however, i was pleasantly surprised when i was greeted with the friendliest bunch of people i've ever met. their arms wide open and excited to see a new face at all. it surprised me, and it still surprises me now.

so thank you, all of you, for allowing me to blossom here <3

i'm not a social butterfly, i struggle to engage in conversation or even start it up. reaching out to people is scary and something i wanna work on more as we approach this new year. sometimes i worry people hate me, but i need to put that out of my head quickly because it's irrational, something else i'm doing my best to work on as well. so the fact that i've made friends at all is very special to me and i will be appreciative of those people for the rest of my life <3

so here's where i give a big list of thanks;

to those who've followed me since the beginning or are recent; i love you all and appreciate you immensely <3 thank you for enjoying my works whether it be drawn or written. i'm pushed to do my best every single day by you guys because i want to put out something that's not just my best, but enjoyable <3 also, i see those of you who regularly interact with my posts, i recognize your users every single time and am happy to see you guys in my notifs. thank you for sticking around, i assure you there's more to come! it's only just the beginning :)

to my mutuals; god i don't even know where to begin. you all are so special to me, even if you've only recently become a mutual. i consider each and every one of you my friends, even if we've hardly talked or not talked at all. i sent a few some letters on christmas eve to express my gratitude but just know that the sentiment extends to all of you. i love you guys so much. so from the bottom of my heart, thank you for existing and for making me feel welcome <3 i hope we can remain friends even if the hyperfixation fades out cause you're all so cool, funny, talented and amazing <3 and i hope to talk to you all more!!

some stick outs i wanna acknowledge;

green, my literal twin, for being the mutual that kicked off this hyperfixation in the first place <3 i've been following you for ages and i'm glad we're able to talk and be friends now. your art has inspired me in countless ways and the positivity you radiate is infectious. your encouragement when i was writing my first fic has stuck to me, i needed it and it pushed me to keep going even when i wanted to scrap it entirely. you're very beloved to me. thank you for being so kind always <3 a million hugs for you, i hope we get to meet some day and discuss mclennon in person. and of course talk more (sorry i suck at reaching out ; ; i really do wanna build a rapport of some sorts)

leo the beloved! your art always inspires me as well! thank you for being so sweet and lighting up every conversation we've ever had. i love talking about mclennison with you and the band in general. it always brightens my day to see you in my notifications <3 thank you for being so lovely and here's to hoping we get to talk even more!

owen, the other beloved! seeing you on the dash is like catching up with an old friend. i always smile whenever i see a post of yours pop up. thank you for being so sweet and funny <3 i hope you have an easier time at your job and life treats you kindly

abbi!!! love you to bits and pieces <33 your writing inspired me immensely when first starting out and still inspires me even now <3 i love seeing you on my dash, whether it be personal posts or gif sets or whatnot. thank you for everything :) i wish you all the luck and love this next year. hopefully you'll be able to write more poems!!

marq!!! such a sweet person with an incredible art style. i'm always excited to see your newest pieces!! talking with you lately about your dps au has been so fun and i've been spinning it in my brain for ages. i hope it either gets written or drawn out in some way soon!! the masses deserve to see it. thank you for being amazing, i hope we get to talk more in the future! <3

this year wasn't the best. it was really ugly, terrible and i haven't felt this bad since i was probably 18. but, at least i have you guys and these stupid goobers from the 60's. i wanna be kinder to myself and to others in 2025. i wanna get better at talking to people, build deeper connections and improve in areas that i've struggled in. those are the biggest "resolutions" i have. so here's to 2025. love you all, take care of yourselves and each other :)

love always, q

[kit-kat-jo]

My Murder Drones Finale analysis… 1/2 - 2/2

i stayed up until 2 am with friends last night (who i roped into binging the series with me) freaking the fuck out and theorizing, so next morning post hello!

i am FAR from done with this series, it’s been my hyperfixation and comfort show for over a year, and i pray y’all don’t die out too quickly because i have so much left to share. This show and community has blessed me in so many ways, and no way I’m letting it go just yet.

so now, of course, my frame by frame crazy analysis! ready? cool!

spoilers of course!

firstly i love how the first character they hone in on is the teacher, just laying on his desk and accepting his fate. like “really?……. ok. i guess.” fucking hilarious. man is so done.

the solver straight up pulling a Cluster from Steven Universe is not what i expected…. but so on brand. truthfully i don’t understand how in the end, uzi killed THIS whole fucking thing too when swallowing the [null], but if this finale proved anything to me its that about fifty loose ends are kept loose. and that’s… oddly okay with me?

you spin me like a ballerinaaa-

on my first rewatch i realized she tried to yell out “MOM!” in the vacuums of space… what if i just fucking cry?

mother daughter bonding… i’m so glad they have the chance to properly meet. :’) give this woman a drone body post finale so she can give her girl a hug…

SPACESHIP PILOOOTTT!! i love how all the fan content of N pulling Uzi from space into a ship came to fruition! it makes my little heart happy!!

proud of N here for being mad at her!! it doesn’t last long like i knew it wouldn’t, but still.

another thing i realized in my rewatch is that he stops being mad as SOON as he sees her cry? STOPPP😭💔

and yeaahhhh that doesn't last long.

CLOSEST to a walle kiss i got. and i’m HAPPY with it!!!!! just uh... gonna draw in that little spark later...

solver said: stop being straight :)

this whole scene makes my heart SCREAM, they’re so goofy and awkward and cute, they’re dating!!! i’m so proud of them!! them continuing to do coupley things throughout the fights coming next was absolutely too much.

oh you…. you hear something guys?? YOU SEE THAT?

MY WIFE LIVES!!!!! “itd be better if she stays dead nehnehneh” /lh NUH UH!!!!!!!! ANDDD she’s riding in on the fucking sentinel! my life…. my life is complete…. and i heard that “will it ever end for me,” so Eternal Dream IS one hundred percent HER song!

Oh, V. “We were supposed to get away, J! You said we do our jobs on this planet, and it leaves us alone!” as soon as this was said, i REALIZED. and oh, my GOD, all of V’s actions make so much sense now. J, as the leader of the squad, led V to believe that if they all did their jobs, killed blindly until no drone was left, cyn would leave her and N alone. no more messing with them, tearing them open, mutilating them and traumatizing them. as long as she made N do his job, he would be safe. I’M GONNA BE SO FUCKING SICK!!!!! J mislead them this whole time and was on the solver’s side! she knew tessa was long gone! as much as i wanted a J plot where she realizes she’s on the wrong side, i can’t say i wasn’t secretly expecting something like this.

“There’s no escape, even in death!” J has given up. she sided with the solver to end her own suffering. she sided with the abomination that was tearing them apart, tired of fighting against it. Oh, J. That’s so tragic. Fucked up what you put your teammates through, though.

the aforementioned coupley stuff. YAAAAAAALLLLLLLLUHHH. get a room

now to the fucked up shit. can i just say how much i love cyn’s animations here? she’s so fucked up. love her

you did a lot more than hurt his feelings girlie, LOOK AT HIM! his pure, horrific fear here actually broke me.

ran out of space for images! here pt 2!

[cositapreciosa]

What is left

Daniel Van Ness x reader, (infidelity, but like it was falling appart anyway, the usual for the show) 986 words

a/n : me : doesn't write on anything for months, decides Daniel Van Ness will be it because of an hyperfixation on an edit or smt

Also I think this is the first Daniel fic on Tumblr, does that make me an avantgarde-thing ? We shall see.

Had to use this gif cause like hello the big dick energy

!!! @axreliono this one is for you !!! Tagging my other bitches (lovingly) that might like this : @narcolini @drabbles-mc @anunhealthydoseofangst @hausofmamadas @ashlingnarcos

Surprise is too small a word to express Daniel’s reaction when his morning starts with you leaning against his office desk. He recoils, the coffee cup in his hand overflows on one side, burning the back of his hand, but he doesn’t drop it like his mouth does, in a silent question. So many questions, in fact, because here you are—in front of him, in Colombia—not back in that low-rank, basement office in Chile, overworked and underpaid.

‘’ Hey, Danny, heard you had been dropped off here too. ‘’

Here as in Cali—here, in another rotation, after you had told him in tears that you had to go back home, that you couldn’t stay, that you couldn’t do it anymore. This work, this job, the distance.

‘’ I thought- You- ‘’

‘’ I know, I’m sorry. I should have called. ’’

Your voice is soft, a hint of regret, but he realizes that he never did call you either, that maybe he should have too. Told you that he wouldn’t be in Chile if you ever came back, that he had to move on. You push yourself off the desk and towards him, so close that he can smell your perfume. It draws him back, siphons him away in the hot humidity that is Santiago, Chile, back then when your scent would linger on his sheets. He hates that he still feels the sweat on his body, tastes the salt on your skin.

It takes everything in him not to step back again, but he lets you get closer, lets you press a hand on his bicep, lets you stammer and hesitate as you try to get the words out.

‘’ Danny… ‘’ Your eyes can’t seem to meet his for too long, ‘’ I tried to, but everything was different and I didn’t want to impose, or hurt you again.‘’ Your fingers tighten on his shirt, ‘’ I signed the divorce papers. I told him everything and we tried to make it work, but I- ‘’

‘’ You came to Colombia instead. ‘’

He watches as you retreat, your hand falling off his arm, taking a step back so you can more easily look up at him.

‘’ They just sent me here. I didn’t know you were assigned to Cali until I bought the ticket. ‘’

He knew you were married, you had been clear about that from the start, when he would hang out around your office more, drive you home and spend minutes talking in his car after a drink at the bar, but you had also told him about how rocky it had been for years now, that the Chile rotation was just a way to put off the inevitable. You didn’t seem to mind, so he decided he didn’t either.

‘’ I was put on Salcero’s case a few months ago, ‘’ you begin, ‘’ Back in the States, just going through hours and hours of recorded calls. They want us to work it together since you’ve made contact with him already.’’

He doesn’t know what to say, he lets the ceramic of his coffee cup continue to burn his fingertips, lets you analyze his face as if you couldn’t remember it, all of him.

‘’ Please, Danny. ‘’

Say something. You are pleading and he hates how the sound of his name on your lips makes his heart seize like a teenager, how it warms up his chest at the same time.

It feels like years ago at this point, when you came knocking on his door in the middle of the night. You can’t be out at night at this hour- why are you crying? What is going on? Years ago when he brought you back to the airport, with only your small bag and a one-way ticket. I can’t do this, Danny, I have to go home.

It is his turn to reach towards you, to bring you back, wrapping a hand around your bicep. Your skin is warm, but even though it sends chills throughout his arm.

‘’ I missed you, ‘’ Is all he finds the courage to say, ‘’ I’m glad you’re on the team. ‘’

He can feel the change in the air when your hand raises to touch his wrist, when his hold doesn’t feel like a colleague welcoming another anymore, how his thumb has been caressing your skin for too long now.

‘’ I am deeply sorry, Danny. ‘’ You say again, your fingertips brushing the outside of his wrist. He can see the freckles on your face, ‘’ I should have stayed. ‘’

He doesn’t have to think, he just does, moving his other hand up, pushing hair away from your face, fingers wrapping behind your neck. He does not think again when he brings you closer, softly, giving you an out, an option to refuse, to tell him that he read this all wrong.

You close the gap, head first, nose brushing his, moving up to meet him halfway. You taste like coffee and something sweet, something different. You are pressed against him, warm thighs on his, parting to make way for his own.

It is a brief kiss, over almost as soon as it starts. He doesn’t deepen it, doesn’t push for it to start again. There has to be a better moment for this, somewhere when his coffee is not staining his shirt cuff, where the phones don’t ring and eyes might catch.

‘’ You’re thinking too much. ‘’ You murmur, pushing on your toes to brush your nose against his one last time, breathing him in.

It catches him off guard, but he knows you are right, reading through him like a book as always. He wants to say so many things, but he can’t find the words.

‘’ I missed you. ‘’ He decides to say instead. It makes him feel good, relieved.

He means it.

[ay-miphae]

I Am Thinking About The Source Characters Again: How A Years-Long Hyperfixation Colors My Understanding Of Each Character’s Role In The Plot

If you follow me you are probably aware that The Source (2017) by Ayreon is a concept album a lot of people are very normal about. You may not know that I was HUGELY into personality typology at one point of time (like the MBTI, Enneagram, stuff like that). I like to make connections I guess, and think about things way more than I should, so I’ve actually put it into writing now. Woohoo? Anyway yeah this requires a lot of infodumping on my part so it’s all under the cut, proceed at your own risk

A lot of people have heard of the MBTI, funky four letter tags like INFJ and ESTP that are getting wildly popular and often dismissed as fad pseudoscience. Like “I for introvert, E for extrovert” and three more dichotomies like that (peep all three of my mutuals from 16Personalities). Fair but ALSO it gets much more interesting when you bring in Jungian cognitive functions.

Basically a theory Carl Jung had that in daily life, everybody uses eight basic functions. You’ve got functions that help you make decisions, ones that help you take in information, ones that let you introspect, and ones that let you interact with your outside world. Their names bear similarity to the MBTI dichotomies (they are related). Introverted Thinking, or Ti, is the one you use when you consider facts and logic in your own head. Also, it’s classified as a Judging function, and that’s because it’s a decision-making function. Whereas Perceiving functions are those that take in information, rather than decide. 

The eight functions are Ti (introverted thinking), Te (extraverted thinking), Fi (introverted feeling), Fe (extraverted feeling), Si (introverted sensing), Se (extraverted sensing), Ni (introverted intuition), and Ne (extraverted intuition). Which ones are the four introverted functions and the four extraverted functions are in their names; you may have noticed there’s not mention of “judging” or “perceiving” yet (the J and P dichotomies in the MBTI). Ti, Te, Fi, and Fe are classified as Judging functions, since they deal with decision making (not like… you’re judging someone, more like being judicious, making decisions, you know). Si, Se, Ni, and Ne are the Perceiving functions, since they’re about perceiving information.

Okay I hope this is comprehensible.

The theory extends further than that. Out of the eight functions, there’s two you will prefer more than most and feel most in the “zone” doing. With personalities like mine, for example, you favor Ti (Introverted Thinking) most, you LIKE logic and analytical things and hard facts and frameworks, it’s just most comfortable, so that’s where your strengths lie. (Or maybe that’s not you at all, maybe your most favored function is like Extraverted Sensing, so you’re most in the zone taking in your surroundings, sensations, and what your body is doing.) Whatever it is, we call it your “dominant function”, and it can be any one of the eight. Now we need a second, or auxiliary, function. But you need one that balances your dominant function. An extraverted auxiliary function to an introverted dominant function, and a perceiving auxiliary function to a judging dominant function, for example. Balances it out. Like you’ve gotta both have some measure of introspection (introverted function) and ability to interact with your surroundings (extraverted) to be functional. Going back to the Ti example, which is introverted and judging, the auxiliary function has to be extraverted and perceiving. This leaves us with two options, Ne or Se.

You’ll notice that 8 possible dominant functions * 2 possible auxiliary function for any dominant function gives exactly 16 “types” which DO correspond exactly to the 16 MBTI types. No time in this infodump for that I’m afraid. I need to start talking about the Source, and how the characters, to me, manifest as different functions that comprise a whole.

So The Diplomat And The Counselor Kind Of Exist To Alleviate Tension But They’re Also Fundamentally Different, Why Is That

So this all kind of started from this one observation. Both exist in different mediator roles; the Diplomat is here to relieve all the interpersonal drama, the Counselor sorts out everybody’s own messiness. I also immediately recognized this as the difference between Fe and Fi. Fe, extraverted feeling, is super attuned to everybody else and their emotions and strives to create harmony. Fi, introverted feeling, is crazy introspective and constantly evaluating what they believe, how they feel, what it means about them as a person, and consequently pretty good at seeing through that for other people. From there I’m like. This is interesting. Okay cool what roles do the other Source characters play in the collective? This is also my attempt to characterize a good number of them, enjoy. Also I’m not giving any of them a full MBTI analysis here, I’m just kind of stating what I think their dominant function(?) is and how that manifests.

Fe (extraverted feeling): the Diplomat

As mentioned above, my guy is constantly trying to go for interpersonal harmony and peace. Go off.

Fi (introverted feeling): the Counselor

Also mentioned above, not only is she an introspective character (i.e. The Dream Dissolves, The Source Will Flow, lots of her monologuing to herself and sorting out who she is as a person), but she’s also able to gently connect with others and heal their hurts.

Also Fi, but kind of different: the Astronomer

Oh so what is my beloved blorbo the Astronomer doing here. What does HE have to do with emotions and stuff. Maybe it’s just that I fixate on him all too much but like. He doesn’t really do a lot you know? Like I’m sure he’s off doing Important Astronomy Things but in story he kind of acts as a vote of confidence or approval. This leaves a LOT of blank space for his personality, I am totally speculating here. I think it’s also that many of my Ayreon mutuals and I have an affinity for Blind Guardian and high fantasy and such that we’ve settled on the collective characterization of “yeah definitely an idealistic and imaginative guy too”. And guess what, Fi does a lot of that. 

I also need to clear a misconception. “Feeling types” by MBTI (like INFP, ESFJ, anything with an F in the third position) are not all sentimental, touchy, romantic kind of people. “Feeling” can also be seen as an attunement to one’s own or other’s wants, desires, hopes, so often you get people who are charismatic or very idealistic. Turning that inwards, introverted feeling, gets you a very rich inner world (i.e. imaginations) or very strong values or opinions (i.e. idealism). Everything I said about Fi being introspective and evaluating what they believe and feel still holds though. These functions are nuanced.

“Stubbornly idealistic” is kind of how I’ve settled on characterizing Astro and his motivations throughout the story, he’s really holding onto a love for space and a vision of how the world/planet should be, and this holds up best with the function Fi. It’s just that every person is different so his Fi looks different from Counselor’s Fi. I need to stop sounding so serious talking about fictional characters who hardly exist outside of one earbook I’m okay

Maybe Te (extraverted thinking), maybe Fe: the President

I fear I have not thought about this guy enough so he goes under the Maybe category. Whatever it is, he is making a lot of decisions about other things and people. Both extraverted and judging functions (Te and Fe) do that. Which one he embodies more depends on whether he’s more motivated and attuned to tangible things, efficiency, and cost, or people and their desires. I see a strong case for the latter (Fe) as he spends a lot of time apologizing to others, trying to make things right. Of course, he’s different from Diplomat in that he’s thrust into a role where he has to make a lot of decisions on behalf of others and not just mediate. It’s just that both seem very other-people-conscious in their actions.

Te (extraverted thinking): the Biologist

In any case, I think the more convincing example of extraverted thinking is the Biologist. A lot of this is fanon interpretation, but she’s typically the one who takes a lot of action, if something is discussed she’s the one who confirms and approves it. Te is a lot of logic, making decisions based off what’s most effective, what’s most optimal for everyone. It’s certainly not that they don’t care about feelings and other people, they do! - but their strengths lie in the technical decisions.

Ti (introverted thinking): the Chemist

Oh it’s he who I relate to too much for my own good, of course I had to pinpoint him as the type closest to mine. Like the Chemist, Ti introspects a lot, but more of in a detached manner. They like facts, internal logic and consistency, hence the stereotype of many of them being drawn to the sciences. That’s how I see Chemist. He NEEDS to get this formula right, he’s obsessed with Liquid Eternity and the objective, rational solution to immortality. He spends a lot of time just talking to himself, wrestling with survivor’s guilt, wondering if he’ll ever find peace, eventually just giving it up and “letting go”. It holds up - as much as Ti likes to introspect, Ti also wants everything to fit in its logical, make-sense-able place. What does one do with a big unanswerable feeling like guilt or shame? It’s uncomfortable and sticky and irrational - in unhealthy cases like the Chemist lol, just toss it out I guess.

Ne (extraverted intuition): TH-1

But he’s an android. How am I psychoanalyzing a robot by human measures. 

So intuition is all about connecting dots, picking up information that’s not already there, and it’s a perceiving function because it’s taking all that information in. Combined with extraversion, it’s outward oriented, so all about possibilities and what could be. These types also have an affinity for humor and the unconventional because those are things that are just more out there.

And yeah, TH-1 is kind of cheating, he’s a robot. But he has character of his own. He runs through all the scenarios, wired to “think” miles ahead of everyone else and scout out possibilities of survival and such. I don’t know though, there isn’t much to say beyond that, except what we know of his personality says Ne to me. And once he’s exhausted all the possibilities, when there’s no more information left to gather and synthesize, he needs a new purpose.

Ni (introverted intuition): the Prophet

Intuition. Connecting dots, information that’s there. So. Prophecy. Honestly I don’t even have a satisfactory definition of Ni. Like how do you turn a function that’s already so vague and forecasting even further inward? Look I know I just went off about “everyone uses every function, they’re necessary for doing human things”. I guess this is more about forecasting what’s going to happen next based on past events, probably something of gut feelings and subconscious rumination.

With the Prophet it’s a bit easier because he does have the plot device of Literally Having Visions, he is seeing and perceiving things that aren’t apparently there from within his own mind. Within the plot, he is the Starblade’s sense of Ni since he’s the one who goes “hey I thought about this a lot, this might and probably will happen”.

Se (extraverted sensing): the Captain

Ah. The Captain. Our beloved. Literally in what universe is he not a hyperactive and attention seeking little achiever? This seems to be the one characterization for him all across the board, and he is so so distinct and beloved. I mean it’s probably that he’s played by Tobias Sammet but whatever.

This function’s all about taking in your external senses, like what’s happening at the moment, as well as what your body is doing and muscle memory, so often skills like sports or crafts. I feel like this describes our Captain quite well. He’s flashy and flamboyant because external stimuli are fun and cool, he’s constantly achieving for the thrill of doing and also for the hell of it. He probably flies spacecraft for fun, something that involves a lot of taking in a lot of information and reacting to it at once. Makes him a good captain though, he’s a silly goober, but he can take in a lot at once and react decisively to it.

Maybe Se: the Opposition Leader. Actually probably not now that I think about it

I don’t know. OL is the other similarly active and reactionary character, as well as “OL is probably feral and very street-smart” characterizations that make him fit here well. Outspoken and far too aware of everything. But I raise you. Introverted thinking (Ti).

Our other Ti guy was Chemist, and Chemist and OL don’t seem that similar. Chemist’s penchant for logic and internal consistency leads him to Liquid Eternity. On the other hand OL sees the flaws and inconsistencies in others’ plans and the world at large, so he’s quick to criticize and point out what he immediately sees as not lining up, he needs to make it right. “But he’s far too outspoken to be introverted, what about that” (oh yeah having an introverted dominant function means introverted personality type in general, don’t know why that didn’t come up earlier). Fair, but social and outspoken extraverts do very much exist. They just need an internally motivating reason to do so.

Si (introverted sensing): the Historian

And finally, introverted sensing is the one that reflects most on the past and what was. Which is quite literally does, while he narrates, he carefully documents the details and past happenings. I don’t know what else to say here. Historian on the Starblade is just a prime example of this. Often associated with nostalgia and tradition (things past, etcetera) and processing new information in the background to get familiar with it, so characterizing Historian as fairly reserved and nostalgic would fit too.

For what it’s worth my personal headcanon is the Preacher is ISFJ, so also Si-dominant, I however have no backing behind this and should actually think about it.

There’s all the characters. Why did I write all this? If you’ll excuse me getting lost in jargon and definitions and blorbodumping, it’s that the characters of the Source fit the eight “basic” functions shockingly well. I know Arjen didn’t intend this, I know I’m overthinking, but it’s fascinating. They balance each other out, together as a team, they’re, well. Functional. As a team, they have decision-makers, people who reflect and help them move on, people attuned to emotion, people attuned to what could be and more. Of course they all have different personalities, but alll of them serve a necessary role, or else they’d probably fall into disrepair.

I'm sure there's better ways I could have explained my thought process here. This turned into full-on rambling, I don't know if any of this makes sense to anyone else. Maybe I'll rewrite this another day? Who knows

[temmtamm]

My godshshshddd I just read the tails fic and 𝘐 𝘓𝘖𝘝𝘌 𝘐𝘛

I don't know if your taking request/ask for sonic but can you another one but with tails realising that sonic and the reader are dating? How would he react seeing the reader liking the fake (or real?) sonic and asking him for help? Pretty much like Amy's situation.

Love that scrunkly pathetic meow meow (𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶) :}

Ofc I am!! I am hyperfixating on sonic and sonic parody media so hard so feel free to bombarde me with all that jazz!! Sorry if it strays a bit from the ask, I got too into the moment with it.

'Imposter'

Secret History Tails x Reader Who Likes Sonic

Tw: violence, needles, Yandere themes, all around horror.

"--It's just--He's so kind, yknow??" (Y/N)'s hands came up, hiding their face as a flustered chuckle left their lips. "And today we were having one of those back and forth moments again and he called me a 'Dummy', but like he said it with such emotion and i--"

Tail's grip tighten on his screwdriver, threatening to stab it right through the Tornado's insides the he was working on. "Yknow, I don't really think a guy who calls you a 'Dummy' is all that into you.. No offense."

"No, no!! It's one of his more playful moments, yknow like how he likes to trash talk with Shadow or Knuckles when the two are rough housing?? It's like that." (Y/N) sighed, letting their arms fall to their side once again as they seem to fall into their many many daydream like states. One of the curses of pining for someone.

If you asked Tails, (Y/N) would be the last person he'd suggest for Sonic to go out eith--Hell, Big the cat and Froggy would be a better couple than the two!!

It's not that he doesn't think (Y/N) is good enough--Hell, it was kind of a miracle someone of (Y/N)'s caliber even really hung around the group.

And it's not that he didn't think Sonic wasn't fit for them either--Hell, his Sonic could charm the pants off of any living creature with enough elbow grease.

It's just....

He didn't think they'd be the best paired together, is all.

Yeah...

...

That's the reason.

"It just kinda...stinks, though. I mean, he has Amy practically glued to his side and everyone knows that she is absolutely smitten with him. Doesn't help she's all he can talk about to me too. It's always, " How should I give Amy this gift??" and "What type of flowers would Amy like??" when I made all the signs SO CLEAR!!" (Y/N)'s love-drunk rants quickly turned to annoyed ramblings, their face scrunching up in disdain as they did so.

"Geez, (Y/N). You really feel strongly about this, huh??" Tails' ears flicked at the sounds of (Y/N)'s complaints, a small smile forming on his lips though he his it by keeping himself nose deep in his work.

"Yea, well. Yknow the whole 'Love' thing isn't a very subtle feeling, Miles." With a tired sigh, (Y/N) leaned back in the designated seat that Tails always kept free for them in his lab. "I wish that just for once, I could know what Amy feels like. Must be nice being pined for--Especially by a hero such as Sonic."

Tails paused, a lightbulb shooting off in his brain. He was quick to seize the moment, putting his brain to work. "Yknow, I think that could be possible..."

(Y/N) paused shooting Tails a inquisitive look. "What do you mean by that, Miles??"

The orange furred fox grinned cheekily, his fingers pausing all movement across the machinery before him. "Well, You already know all the stuff he likes about Amy, right??" He set down his tools and turned to face them, watching as the morbian eyed him down with curiosity.

"Your point??" (Y/N) cocked their head ever so slightly.

"Let's use it!! Use it to your advantage!! Help Sonic see the good in you!!" For someone who was usually so indifferent to (Y/N)'s ramblings of Sonic, Tails actually seemed pretty interested at the moment.

...

"Say, (Y/N). Have you ever heard of little white lies??

-------------------------------------------------------------------

The morbian fidgeted with the hem of their top, swallowing thickly as their footsteps came to an abrupt stop. Just before them, the blue blur himself was there. He was distracted by a conversation with a fairly familiar red echidna, allowing (Y/N) to go unnoticed. (Y/N)'s gaze glanced back at some bushes behind them, rethinking on if they should go through with this plan they and Tails had crafted, but when the orange furred fox popped his head out of said bushes to give the morbian a toothy grin and thumbs up, that managed to strum enough confidence out of (Y/N) to take the necessary steps forward to enter Sonic's line of vision.

"HE--!! Crap-I mean...hey, Sonic.." (Y/N) coughed, the start of their sentence being unnecessarily loud, causing them to quickly backtrack and make their voice as meek as possible, which only gave it the appearance of a voice crack. Sonic raised a brow over at the morning, clearly weirded out by the 'crack' which made (Y/N) feel like just crawling in a hole and dying.

"Hey…?? Weren't expecting to see you here, (Y/N). I thought you were back over in the Green Hills Zone." Sonic spoke up, resting his left hand on his hip while he used the other to wave around as he spoke, talking with his hands.

"Oh, well I was actually in the area!! I was–" (Y/N) paused, a bit of uncertainty about lying to Sonic washing over them, though when a familiar two tailed fox got caught in their peripheral vision, they were reminded of why exactly they were doing this.

"I was just…in the area!! Saving…kittens from..uh...burning buildings…?" Sonic squinted suspiciously at the morning, making them fight back a sweat in an attempt to look as normal as possible.

Just as quickly as he was suspicious though his facial features shifted into a more proud look, and before (Y/N) knew it, he had leaned in and placed a hand on their shoulder, damn near giving them a heart attack.

"Well, well, Looks like we have more than one 'hero', huh?? Gotta keep my game up so you don't take my title." Sonic teased, bringing a flush of heat to the morbians face.

(Y/N) reveled in the moment, more in the fact that Sonic was LEANING into them than the others. Of course though, you can't have shit in Angel Island, and the universe was quick to remind (Y/N) of that.

"Wait…but I just saw you and you were with Tails, not saving any animals." Knuckles spoke up, reminding (Y/N) and Sonic of his existence.

"Oh, well, I uh–" (Y/N)'s face flushed up even more so, but this time it was out of the stinging feeling of embarrassment rather than any warm fuzzy feelings for any certain blue hedgehog.

"I uh…" (Y/N) gulped nervously and forced a smile.

"I JUST REMEMBERED I HAVE AN EXCUSE WAITING FOR ME IN MY HOUSE, GOTTA GO!! BYE!!" With that, the morbian took off in speeds that'd even make the blue blues head spin.

—-----------------------------------------------------

"It was a bust, Miles!! All I did was make a fool of myself!!" (Y/N) whined out, face buried in their arms from the sheer embarrassment of the moment that they kept reliving in their head on repeat.

"Now Sonic probably thinks I'm a no good cheap hack just tryna' gain some brownie points!" (Y/N)'s voice was muffled from their arms but still somewhat comprehensible.

"Oh, geez. I should've known better than to suggest that. There's no way Sonic would fall for a lie, no matter how small." Tails placed a hand on (Y/N)'s back, reveling just a tad in how the morbian leaned into his touch, seeking comfort.

"I'll tell you what, I'll come up with another plan for you!! This time, it'll be fool-proof!! I promise!!" Tails spoke up, persuading the morning to lift their head up to look up at their yellow-ish furred friend. "Really??"

Tails nodded, his usual lopsided grin placed tightly on his lips. "Really." With that conformation, (Y/N) practically flung themselves into their small friends arms to give them a death hug that could knock the wind out of even the most strongest and fearless monsters ever.

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!!" (Y/N) buried their face into the chest fur of Tails, much to the two tailed friends delight.

"Dont mentioned it."He patted his friends back, his gloved touch lingering for just a few minutes longer than socially acceptable.

"After all....

𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳??"

------------------------------------------------------------------

"Tails...Are you sure this is going to work..?" (Y/N) raised a brow at their compassion, unsure of his plan as he held up a very well burnt piece of toast.

"It works in the shows, doesn't it??" Tails shrugged, limply holding the bread with two fingers as if it were poisoned as he did so. "Just bump into him on my go, and it'll work for sure!!" The morning released a sigh but took the bread nonetheless.

"If you say so.." With that said, (Y/N) placed the bread into their mouth, cringing just slightly at the crunchy texture. With that said and done, they peered over the corner of the building that both them and Tails were hiding behind.

A blue blue, one all to familiar was zipping past, just over the horizon on some far away bumps, but knowing the speeds of the beast it belonged to, it would only be a matter of seconds before it was go time.

With that in mind, the antsiness that came with anticipation filled (Y/N) to the core, making it hard to stay still for long.

"And....Go-!!"

Barely letting the words get out of his mouth, (Y/N) zoomed out from their hiding spot, far too much momentum in their "light jog" to the point where they looked as if they were a morbian on a mission.

And with momentum, came force.

A sharp pain shot through (Y/N)'s head and a yell croaked out of their throat, accompanied by a yell coming from the front of them. With that harsh collide, (Y/N) went tumbling to the ground, along with their victim. They groaned, still recovering from the pain that throbbed in their head but took this chance to reach out to their victim and grab to lift them up, taking the time to seem as gentle and caring as possible. Gotta put your best foot forward, even if it was after accidentally headbutting your crush to the ground.

"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry, Soni--" (Y/N) cut themselves off, opening their eyes to see just a normal, everyday morbian instead of the blue hero they had expected. "Wha--" (Y/N) whipped their head around, attempting to catch the blue blue again. Whipping their head behind them, they got the lingering blue of Sonic's speedy form extending out as he zipped up and down hills far, far behind them; having been too fast to bump into.

"Oh, for the love of--"

(Y/N) growled out, dropping the morbian hand in a fit of anger, making the poor civilian fall back down to the harsh ground.

"OW!!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------

"I don't get it, Miles!! I've been doing everything you told me!" (Y/N) whined out, years threatening to spill from just the sheer anger of it all as they sat still, arms extended as the fox worked on the scrapes they gained from the previous stunt the two pulled.

"Maybe I'm just--" (Y/N)'s gaze fell to the steel flooring of the fox's lab, watching the shine that glistened off of the metal. "Maybe I'm just not good enough for Sonic?? I mean, he's saved the world like what, a billion times?? What have I ever done?? Hang around and drag you guys down??" (Y/N) threw their hands up in frustration, though flinched when the bandaging on their arm tightened due to pulling away from Tails' work.

"Maybe he's right to love Amy, at least she actually fights by his side. She actually helps out." Their voice became softer as they trailed off, causing a cold silence to fall upon the room as it hit them that maybe, just maybe, they just had to cope with the fact that them and Sonic is incompatible. They've been doing all this and yet, all it really did for them was either give them some scrapes and bruises or negatively effect their relationship with Sonic.

...

Maybe, they couldn't force someone to love them.

...

"...You're right, (Y/N). There's no way he can notice you in this state. You're weak--Or, at least he thinks it." Tails voice was...different from before. It was cold, it lacked them love it once held almost minutes before. His hands paused, if only for a few seconds before pulling away from his work to instead place themselves on the morbians shoulders.

"It's not all pointless, though. There is a way to show him just how string and capable you can be--And it could get rid of the...competition." (Y/N) froze, the coldness and strangeness of his tone not lost on them, their gut feeling sending alarm bells in their head though they tried to keep it down. Tails is their friend, it'd be so shallow of them to be suspicious of their friend of 3 years over just a strange shift in tone.

"What do you mean by that, Miles...?" They asked, voice now laced with suspicion.

"Well,"

Tails paws dug slightly into the morbians shoulders, almost like how a massage artist would find pressure points. "What good has Any ever done for us, hm?? There's probably a million other Amy's out there. But how many of there are you?? Maybe you just need to...make this one Amy in particular disappear, to help shift Sonic's focus onto the right person."

His paws lowed slightly, down to (Y/N)'s forearms, much to the morbians discomfort. "It's not like you're putting a dent into the the overpoluted ocean of girls her caliber. It's like just picking out a weed where it doesn't belong, yes??"

At first, (Y/N) didn't respond, trying to figure out exactly what Miles was saying. But as the more the fox talked about it, the more (Y/N) started to connect the dots and get passed. Real pissed.

They stood up abruptly, making Tails hands pull back from their form due to the harshness of their action. "Excuse me??" (Y/N) whipped around, turning to face the small friend who kept his calm half-lidded expression as he held a small grin on his lips, as if (Y/N) we're speaking the most mundane of things and not yelling at him.

"Am I jealous?! Sure!! But I'm not gonna kill over it!! You're sick, Miles!! Sick!!" They hissed out, face scrunching up in a expression of disdain at the fact that their friend who usually is so bright and cheery would suggest something so volatile and disturbing. "I don't know if this is some sick joke or what, but you need some help of you thought that was an acceptable thing to say at a time like this."

"Calm down, calm down. It was only a suggestion." Miles raised his hands up in a defensive stance, though his movements were lazed and relaxed. "If you want to live with being the second choice, then be my guest. I just couldn't stand to see my friend suffer."

(Y/N) paused, features softening for just a split second, pain at the feeling of both being rejected as well as being the second choice. The pain was almost enough to consider accepting Tails' offer, though they were quick to snap out of it.

"Miles...Are you.." (Y/N)'s brows furrowed as they took a step closer to the two tailed 'friend' before them. "Are you trying to manipulate me??"

Tails froze, expression faltering into one of surprise. He hadn't really expected (Y/N) to realize his tactics so easily, especially after all that time he spent pushing and toying with his limits to make sure that he could get away with such blatant acts as that. And yet, all it took was a heated moment for (Y/N) to figure it out.

He was impressed.

He knew his (Y/N) was smart, but he hadn't known they were THAT smart.

"Just like that, huh?? I knew you get defensive about your friends, but seriously? Just that? You're a tough cookie to crack, (Y/N)." He dropped the act. He didn't need it anymore, it'd do him no good. With the act came the voice, him letting his real voice break through out of the annoying mold that he got in the habit of using to recreate the other Tails' tone.

"You..." (Y/N) locked up for just a minute, pupils shrinking at the display as their mind seemed to connect dots. Lucky for the two tailed fiend, (Y/N) had verbalized said thoughts, leaving nothing to the imagination. "You're not Miles, are you...?....Who-Who are you??"

"Isn't it obvious?? I'm--" A sick crack escaped him, almost like his bones had snapped, and with the noise came the sickening sight of his body contorting and twisting, as if breaking out of a box it had been contained in.

"Sonic's-"

It was a painful experience, (Y/N) knew it just from the sounds of his flesh and muscles tearing as well as his bones desperately trying to find where they belonged to repair themselves into his new form. His lankier, more unsettling form. (Y/N) took a few steps back, but couldn't stop themselves from looking. It was like watching a train wreck unfold before your very eyes, something about it forced you to stay, to watch the outcome even though you knew it would leave some mental scars on your psyche.

"BEST FRIEND!!" Tails gripped harshly on the lab table behind him, using that to keep himself upright, his gaze flickering over to (Y/N), showing the morbian that they too had changed. The once large dark brown orbs of the fox now were now shrunken into a permanently surprised look, his pupils now in the shapes of stars and having many vibrant colors that were organic looking, despite not belonging on any morbians body.

"Miles...Miles, you're not okay..We-We need to get you to a doctor, or-or a therap--" (Y/N), although frenzied and panicked to the point where having a heart attack was a very real fear that could happen, tried their best to keep their cool, trying to cling onto the idea that this was still their friend of 3 years who was just having psychotic break rather than an imposter who had been masquerading as their friend.

Before their sentence could truly be finished though, 'Miles' had grabbed them by their arms, pulling them closer to him and closing any possible gap they had made when they had time to back up. "DON'T CALL ME THAT!! DON'T EVER CALL ME THAT AGAIN!!" His shrill yell was short lived, though did it's job in throughly scaring the ever loving daylights out of (Y/N) if that's what it set out to do.

A smile placed itself onto his lips, acting as though he hadn't just bursted out in anger moments prior. "Don't...Don't call me that again, okay, Dear??" Despite his cheery tone and smile, his chest heaved up and down from the energy his previous yell had exerted, showing that he had been and probably still is very pissed about it. "I'm Tails, Sonic's best friend. Not that whiney, shit for brains imposter!!" His grip tightened, threatening to place bruises along (Y/N)'s arms.

Ironic choice of words, considering he was the imposter. But, not wanting to anger this clearly deranged and dangerous individual, (Y/N) nodded frantically, agreeing to whatever he'd say as long as it kept them out of harm's way.

"Right, Right. Tails, my apologies." (Y/N)'s tone was shaky and full of fear, not that Tails seemed to notice--Or maybe he didn't even care. Neither of these options seemed that far of a reach.

"Good." Tails' grin widened, if that was even a possibility, and with that came the flash of his gums, drawing (Y/N)'s attention to his mouth, or more specifically his teeth.

They were crooked, misplaced, and appeared to be rotting. It looked as though when he was being made, whoever had made him had used if as a playground to go ham on all the possibilities of where teeth could be, and that's not even getting started on the smell of his breath.

"Yknow, I waited so long for this moment," His grip loosened on (Y/N)'s arms, making relief wash over the morbian, though the feeling was brief as he soon would replace his previous hold with another, now wrapping his arms around the morbian and pulling them into an air-tight embrace where the breakage of their ribs was a very real possibility. "When I could finally show myself to you--My real self. I think you'll find you like me better this way--Much better than that phoney vermin that came before me!!" His grip tightened as he spoke about Miles, making a pained noise involuntarily escape (Y/N)'s throat.

Tails took notice to this, and then loosened his grip as one of his gloved hands came up to stroke (Y/N)'s hair, bringing a sickening feeling to the morbians chest. "Though, I wished that it was on better terms, I guess this will have to do." (Y/N) froze, staying as stiff as a board, they didn't know what to do, no words left their throat, and they didn't even know how they could start to respond to this man's insane ramblings, much less his touches and--Did he just sniff their hair.

After what felt like centuries, (Y/N)'s fight or flight kicked in and they started to fight back. Hard. They kicked and thrashed, attempting to scratch out the imposters eyes and break free from his grip. "Wha--Cut this out!!" Tails, obviously fought back, though he only tried to keep his grip on the morbian tight, making it hard for them to let go--Though, he also did let warnings or threats of sorts slip out. "I don't want to get physical, but if I need to, I will, Darling."

(Y/N) finally managed to break free after biting down on Tails' arm, breaking the fur and skin and even drawing blood. They pushed Tails away, giving them enough space in between the two to break off into a sprint for the lab's doors, making a break for it.

They were so close, their hand right on he handle when suddenly a steel shield of sorts came down, blocking the outside as the lab had went into a lockdown type of state. Whipping their head around, they saw the reason for this.

Tails stood there, a remote in one hand with a thumb pressing down on one of its many many buttons. "Don't tell me you thought it'd be that easy. I thought you were smarter than that."

"Miles, let me go." (Y/N), despite their fear, spoke in a stern and commanding tone, hoping that would be enough to persuade Tails, despite knowing it very well couldn't. "If you kill me, people will notice I'm gone. I won't speak a word of this, I swear. Just let me go."

"Kill you??" A small giggle croaked out the Fox's throat, little at first, but soon escalated into a hysterical laughing fit. "Kill you?! No, I couldn't dare lay a finger on you. You and Sonic are one of the only good hings about these sick dimensions." He chuckled again, breathlessly this time around.

"No, no. I have much bigger plans for you, my sweet." Then he set his remote down, hand reaching behind him to grab for something that his body obscured from (Y/N)'s vision. "Though, I doubt you'd go through it willingly. You're such a fighter!! It's like playing hard to get for you!"

(Y/N) didn't need a rocket scientist to figure out the possibilities this could lead down. All were definitely not in their best interest. They were quick to reach over, to try and grab something, anything they could use to defend themselves. Their fingers brushed against a small screwdriver sitting near the edge of a toolbox, and they quickly snatched it up, gripping onto it tightly in their hand.

(Y/N) attacked first, using the screwdriver as a dagger of sorts to stab at Tails. It made a slice, but not one deep enough to stab, let alone deter the two tailed fiend. Before (Y/N) could even really process all that the lightly furred fox had done, they were sent to the ground with a pounding feeling in the back of their skull and a gloved hand tightly clutching at their throat with their attacker, Tails, mounted on top of them.

"Well done, Darling! I really don't see why Sonic skipped out on you, you certainly are the whole package!" He was grinning from ear to ear, teeth gleaming dangerously as the scarce lighting of the room reflected off of his teeth as well as his eyes. "Beautiful, intelligent, and a fighter!! There really is only one flaw with you!"

(Y/N) gasped for air, coughing and wheezing as they tried desperately to get some form of oxygen to fill their lungs, their hands instinctively went for the one that was wrapped tightly around their throat, trying to pry it off though that only made the fox's fingertips indent themselves deeper into the morbian's neck.

Tails leaned I'm close, half lidded eyes watching them and reveling in the sight of them. "You just don't know when to quit." That's when (Y/N) saw it. The glisten of light hitting the slim blade of a needle that he held tightly in his right hand, preparing to strike (Y/N) with it, inserting the mysterious liquid that the needle was holding into them.

"Tails--Tails, wait!! You don't have to do this, We can--" (Y/N) was cut short, a chaste kiss being planted on their lips with sharp teeth threatening to cut them before the fox made his move, inserting the needle into the little amount of (Y/N)'s neck that wasn't before squeezed by his hand.

Inserting the liquid and pulling back, Tails' grinned and admired his handiwork. His grip loosened, allowing (Y/N) to catch their breath, though that didn't matter much when the liquid had already started to take its effects, draining away at their energy until they were in an almost slumber like state.

"Sleep. Sleep now, and once you're awake, you'll be just like me. We can finally live like we were meant too--Not collecting dust with all these vermin. You'll have no need for this imposter 'Sonic' you busy your thoughts with. You'll be with me, and the 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭 Sonic."

[multifandomfanficss]

Home Is Wherever You Are P4

Adrian Chase/Vigilante x Reader

With a very heavy emphasis on platonic!Christopher Smith/Peacemaker

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Adrian Chase Masterlist

Prompt: It’s your last day alone with Adrian before he starts preschool so you try to make the most of it.

Warnings: mentions of child abuse, panic, meltdown, crying, divorce, mentions of August Smith, cannon typical Peacemaker violence and language, homophobia, internalized homophobia

A/N: Sorry we’re a day late! My schedule was a little busier than usual yesterday. I also posted this on my ao3 adriansglasses. Hope you guys enjoy!

You race towards Adrian in the parking lot of the old video store turned headquarters.

“Where are you going?! Can you please just talk to me for a second?!” You call after him.

“If you’re just gonna call me a stupid, reckless, liability then I don’t wanna hear it.” He says, continuing to walk. He was clearly just spitting out words he’d heard Murn or Harcourt say about him. You grab his hand, halting him from walking any further away from you.

“You could have died!” You tell him.

“So what?! It would have been for the greater good anyway!” He turns to look at you. “Everybody knows I’m the most expendable!” He tells you as if he thinks he’s speaking in cold hard facts.

“No, you’re not! You shouldn’t have pushed me out of the way.” You argue with him.

“You’re more important than me! You can live without me, but I can’t live without you. That’s just a fact, (Y/N). That’s how it is with everyone in my life.”

“You idiot.” You say, as you pull him into your first kiss.

September 12th, 1994

Today was the last weekday you’d be alone with Adrian before he started preschool, so you wanted it to be special. You held his hand as you walked into Henelotter Video to let him pick out a movie or two. All he wanted to do was have a guys’ night with Gut and Chris. He looked up to them so much. The plan was to get pizza and rent a movie or two. Your mission was to pick an age appropriate movie for Adrian that wouldn’t bore Gut and Chris. Luckily that wasn’t a problem when Adrian picked up the original Star Wars. He was going through a huge hyperfixation with Space lately. You smiled.

“I think that’s a great choice, buddy. Have you ever seen it?” You ask smiling.

“No, Dor has a picture on his wall!” Adrian told you. You thought back and remembered he was right. Gut did have a Star Wars poster on his wall. You also knew Chris was fond of the series in his adulthood and would often crack jokes about it, despite saying he’s not a nerd.

“Star Wars it is then.” You smiled.

“Rey, can we play on the games?” Adrian asked, pointing towards two arcade games by the checkout.

“You wanna play on the games?! You wanna on the games?!” You say as you lift him up, shaking him, pretending to drop him and holding him upside down as he giggled. He loved it when you did this. You’d found that out the first night you were here. You start to tickle him before setting him down on the stool in front of the arcade game. You placed a coin in the machine and let him play.

While he played, you wrote as many notes as you could. His future self had to find one of them in their future headquarters. Before you left you stuck them under floorboards, behind toilets, in ceiling beams, next to light fixtures, anything you thought might be permanent and you’d put two on the couple rare pieces of furniture you knew were still in the building, just some shelves and chairs. You wrote not to open them until the date you left your own timeline on the envelope and then you brought younger Adrian home.

On your way home you had an idea to keep him busy for the day, so you stopped at your local comic book store. You walked him all the way to the back where you were happy to see the Dungeons and Dragons section was still where it is in the future. It was smaller, but still there. They even had a children’s beginner’s guide that was simplified for younger players. Everything was perfect. You collected the cheapest option of all the materials you’d need and even had a little of your allowance leftover to let Adrian pick out a miniature. Before you’d left your own timeline, your Adrian had been trying to teach you how to play. Maybe if you taught his younger self how, you’d be better at it when you got back to your Adrian. You looked down and Adrian was missing. You panicked for a second before turning to see Adrian staring at the comic books with his chosen miniature in hand. He looked in awe at the heroes on all the covers.

“They’re really cool, aren’t they?” You smile.

“Yeah.” He whispers in awe, deep in thought.

“Well you are just as smart and just as cool and just as brave and just as strong as them.” You smile, pulling him into your arms and heading to check out. “And you can fly too!” You say as you move his body through the air to checkout. He giggles until you place him on the ground to pay for your stuff. Then you head home for real this time.

You taught Adrian how to play DND long into the afternoon. He seemed to be really interested in it, but this shouldn’t come as a surprise to you. This is Adrian after all. Even after Gut and Chris came home, you kept playing. They were busy in Gut’s room listening to music anyway. You could hear Kiss coming from under the door. You didn’t get up from your game of DND until you heard the doorbell ring. You opened the door to meet the pizza man. You gladly paid him and got your pizza.

“Gut, Chris! Pizza’s here!” You yelled upstairs. “Ready for the movie, kid?” You asked Adrian. He smiled, giving you a nod. “You go grab the VHS tape from my bag and I’ll go get the boys, okay?”

“Okay!” Adrian yelled, running towards the front door where your bag was hanging.

You made your way upstairs to find Gut alone in his room. “Where’s Chris?” You ask.

“He’s in the bathroom.” He barley looks up from his gameboy.

“It’s time for dinner. Can you go help you brother? I’m pretty sure I can hear him digging in the cupboard, trying to reach for the paper plates, but we both know how clumsy he is.” You give him a sympathetic look, silently pleading. He sighed putting down his game of Zelda.

“Fine.” He said getting up and heading downstairs.

“Thank you!” You thank Gut before walking towards the bathroom.

You were just going to knock on the door, but you didn’t realize it was already cracked. When you accidentally pushed it open you came face to face with Chris. He was covered in Diane’s makeup. You both froze.

“This isn’t what it looks like!” Chris started.

“Really? Because it looks to me like you’re wearing eyeliner and you’re about to put on lipstick…” You try to hold back a smile. You knew he talked a big game, but at heart was just a kid.

“I was just trying to make my face look like Kiss! Please don’t tell my dad! He’ll think I’m gay!” He begs, mortified.

“Putting on makeup doesn’t make you gay…and even if you were gay…” You sigh. “The world won’t always be this fucked up. I promise. We’ve made tons of progress…even if it doesn’t feel like it in Evergreen, Washington.”

“I’m not gay!” He stands his ground, still scared.

“I’m not saying you’re gay.” You say calmly, giving him the patients he’s never really been given before.

“I like girls!” He says adamantly.

“I know… I’m just saying… IF you liked girls AND guys…no matter who you like… it’s okay.” You smile at him. Thirteen is a confusing age on its own. When you’re Christopher Smith, only living son of the White Dragon…it’s a lot worse. You watched him avoid your gaze, staring at himself in the mirror. “Dinner’s here. Meet me downstairs soon or else Gut and Adrian will eat it all.” You smile.

“Save me some and I’ll be down in a minute?” He asks, his voice trembling.

“Of course.” You smile, closing the door and heading down the stairs. You pause on the stairs to take a deep breath. You have no idea if what you’re doing is for better or worse anymore. On one hand you could be helping Chris, but on the other you could just be putting him in more danger with his dad. When you get to the bottom of the stairs you sit down, trying to compose yourself. With your eyes closed, you can hear two little feet running towards you.

“Hey, bro!” Adrian yells, crashing into you, climbing you like a tree to get into your lap.

“Hey to you too, bro.” You try to give him a smile.

“Bro, hurry up! I wanna start the movie!” Gut walks over and calls up the stairs. You don’t even have to ask where Adrian learned that.

“Can you help me with pizzuh?” Adrian asks.

“Yes, I can help you with your pizza.” You smile. “Gut, let’s just go eat. Chris is gonna be a minute.”

“He’s taking forever.” Gut whines.

“I know, but just give him a minute. He’s had a long day.”

“He was ranting about his dad again. He’s a fucking dick. Sometimes I wanna kill him.” Gut says quietly.

“Yeah! Kill him!” Adrian repeats in agreement. If only anyone was there to understand how funny a 3 year old Adrian Chase advocating to kill August Smith was. You just laughed. Usually you would tell Gut to not use such harsh language around Adrian, but he had already said fuck so many times. You couldn’t undo what happened before you got there, not that you could change anything anyway, and you couldn’t be mad at Gut for feeling this way either.

“I know you’re upset because Chris is your friend and you care about him, but sometimes you just have to let him deal with things in his own way, so he can grow.”

“We’re more of a family to him than that asshole.” Gut says, dropping a piece of pizza on his plate.

“I know and I promise one day he’ll come to terms with that. Right now he’s just not ready.” You give Gut a sympathetic look. You ached for these boys. Gut and Adrian’s dad left and Chris’… well it was no secret nobody wanted him in the picture.

After dinner you settled in the living room to watch Star Wars. Adrian was very adamant on the seat chart. He pulled you all to the seats he decided he wanted you to sit in. When Gut tried to move he objected.

“No! Rey has to sit between you and Chris!” He objected.

“Where are you gonna sit, Adrian?” You asked.

“Oh your lap!” He said this like it was obvious. This was all just his elaborate plan to be able to sit next to all three of you. Chris hadn’t said much since you caught him. You weren’t sure if he was sad or just embarrassed, but you didn’t press further. Gut was probably too tired to argue with his 3 year old brother, not happy about having to return to school tomorrow, and you just wanted the option that made the most people happy so you settled in, letting Adrian cuddle into your arms. You smiled as the movie started, hugging Adrian closer. You were never a huge Star Wars fan before you dated your boyfriend. You hadn’t even actually seen the first movie. You had never watched it without him. Even now he was still there, even if he wasn’t in the form you wanted him to be. You were a little sad, but you knew you’d see your Adrian again someday.

After the movie you tucked little Adrian into bed. You sat on the bed, missing your Adrian deeply. You played his voicemail. You had borrowed an old Walkman from Diane so you didn’t have to keep asking for Chris’ tape recorder.

“Hey babe, it’s me. I’m just calling because I know you had a bad day today and I was thinking maybe I could bring takeout home from the restaurant and we could just have a movie night? I just wanted to know if you were feeling chicken parm or meatballs or if you wanted to just scratch dinners and have me bring home a pizza. Just call me back when you get this. I’m really proud of you- uh…not that I’m not always proud of you. I’m like totally proud of you all the time and I’m rambling again and this voicemail is about to be like 10 years long, so uh bye I love you.”

“We did have our movie night… just not how either of us expected…” You whisper, as a tear falls.

You restarted the voicemail again.

“Hey babe, it’s me. I’m just calling because I know you had a bad day today and I was thinking maybe I could bring-“ You take off the headphones when you hear a small fist pounding on your door. 3 year old Adrian probably had a nightmare again. You open the door and he rushes into your room.

“Monstor in my cwoset!” He cries.

“There’s no monster in your closet.” You smile, getting at knee level and giving him a hug.

“Monstor!” He insists, tears streaming down his cheeks. He looks really scared. The least you can do is show him nothing’s there and if that doesn’t work, let him sleep in your room. Normally he would sleep with Diane, but she had to go back to the law office after shift at fennel fields to fill out some extra paperwork. It was stupid they were keeping their secretary so late, but she insisted it was a big case.

“Buddy, I promise there’s nothing there, but I’ll go check.” You hold Adrian’s hand, guiding him back to his room. “You sit on the bed and I’ll go check okay?” He let out a whine, sitting on his bed.

“Rey, I’m scawerd.” He cried. He was 3. All 3 year olds are scared of the monster in their closet.

“Adrian, look there’s nothing in-“ You open the closet, stepping backwards letting out a scream. Then Adrian screamed. Then Adrian screamed. You hear footsteps running towards Adrian’s room. You quickly closed the closet door. Adrian was shaking in his bed.

“What the fuck?! Are you okay?!” Gut busted into the room.

“Is somebody in the house?! I’ll fucking kill them!” Judging by what you knew about Chris’ past, he was probably serious. His dad had made him kill for a lot less and the Chase’s felt more like his real family anyway. He’d kill anyone for peace. What about someone trying to hurt his family?

“Everything’s fine!” You assure all three boys.

“Then what are you screaming about?!” Gut asks. You think for a second.

“Uh… I was just really excited! I just remembered the Backstreet Boys are coming out with a new album tomorrow! Can’t wait!” You say the first lie you could think of.

“Who‘s the Backstreet Boys?” Chris and Gut almost ask in unison.

Fuck. That was 96’ not 94’.

“Uh… I can’t believe you don’t know the Backstreet Boys!” Gaslight them. Gaslight the fuck outta these little kids.

“There’s a monstor in my cwoset!” Adrian starts again.

“Sorry. We’re playing a game. Speaking of games you should go finish that video game before your mom gets home and tells you it’s past your bedtime. Remember I’m the cool one, not her.”

“Bro, I can’t believe you still have a bedtime.” Chris laughs as you push the two out of the room. You run back over to the closet.

“You don’t think my mom’s cool?” Adrian asks, his body barley fitting into the closet with his sword on his back. You crush him in a hug and start crying immediately.

“Please tell me this is real. Please tell me this isn’t some fucked up dream.” You cry in his arms.

“It’s not a dream. I’m here. I found you.” He smiles, holding you tightly. You kiss him. His 3 year old self screams.

“Why am I screaming?” Adult Adrian asks.

“I just kissed the monster in the closet.” You laugh.