#heard a lot of mixed reviews on this
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“We couldn't imagine the emptiness of a creature who put a razor to her wrists and opened her veins, the emptiness and the calm.”
#reading#books read in 2023#bookblr#books#book photography#book blog#bibliophile#the virgin suicides#jeffrey eugenides#virgin suicides#quick read#needed a break from fantasy#heard a lot of mixed reviews on this#i don’t think men can write women#they just don’t get it#adolescence#is terrible#life is hard#lisbon sisters#one star#review#march reads#wasn’t great
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2024 reads / storygraph
Everything Under the Moon
Anthology of queer reimaginings of fairytales by mostly Australian authors
various genres, from contemporary to fantasy and sci-fi, mostly about older teens
mlm, sapphic, trans, nonbinary, demi, bi ace, and aromantic characters, some stories focusing on romance but many on familial relationships and siblings
#Everything Under the Moon#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#aromantic books#queer books#A really nice anthology of queer fairytales! definitely a mix of all sorts of stories.#Some were a bit forgettable (I mean I’m just not a short story person) but I really enjoyed others! I#I picked this up specifically because I heard there was an aromantic story (which I didn’t know much else about) and yeah it hit hard actua#it’s about being okay with loneliness and also centred around artists….so. it did make me cry a bit….#I liked that a lot of them focused on platonic r/ships - most on sibling actually? I appreciate that there were a couple sapphic aces too#I will say while the illustrations are really high quality (I especially liked the naturey ones) I found a lot of them depicted the chars#as very.....disnefied? idk. thin and generic. lacking 'imperfect' features like freckles even#(when they’re described as having them) With a couple exceptions for sure - but a lot of them were a bit samey#I would have loved some authors notes or a list of the stories because I didn’t recognise which all were inspired by#(though they’re on the endpapers; just not specified which) - I did find this in a GR review tho
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Thinking about rotg being a world and time beyond goc, where the Guardians— perhaps individually, perhaps in pairs— have connected with Pitch in some manner. Made peace with him, in a way. A few of them have even discussed offering him Guardianship, despite the fact that they as a group were created to fight the fearlings he surrounds himself with. Children need some healthy fear to survive, after all. That may be something that needs to be guarded. Maybe one of them did talk about it with him- and he turned them down.
Thinking about Guardians who maybe didn’t try as hard as they could, but certainly tried more than nothing, to give a chance to Pitch. Guardians who, by the events of the movie, had accepted that it just wasn’t what Pitch wanted. Oh, he wanted to be believed in, but he wanted more than healthy fear, more than children. So the Guardians fight— but one not-Guardian doesn’t quite… get it. He thought they were similar, him and Pitch. He’s not bad, just extreme.
Thinking about having to explain that Pitch could certainly change, could certainly help people— but he didn’t want to.
#disclaimer: I’ve been avoiding reading the fifth book (heard some mixed reviews). I have it but. not read yet#sorry I know this isn’t how I normally run this blog but I’m having some thoughts tonight and wanted to share#pitch black#rotg#goc#rise of the guardians#guardians of childhood#there’s a lot I left out- like seraphina and kizmotis and whatnot. but I often see ‘fear is useful! they just fight him’ but hey?#I think it’s v possible that the guardians have tried. pitch just literally doesn’t want to change and that’s why they fight#maybe I just like a villian who knows there’s a better way but actively chooses worse#anyways does anyone want to talk to me abt it.
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So I'm finally getting around to trying to finish Stranger Things for the first time (totally worth the hype surprised that the "Momma Steve" thing I heard about is like a canon thing) and I got to the first episode of season 3 where the older ladies who are all parents with like teenage aged kids are gawking at this dude who they knew as a high schooler (and even if they didn't he is significantly younger than them he is like their kids' age) and all I could think of was "NOOOOOOOOO!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Ooooh oh no… oh NO
Sigh
#aulga#ask#ive never actually seen stranger things all the way through#I heard it’s vaguely similar to black phone?#not sure#but ive heard a lot of VERY MIXED reviews
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Idk if kin is somewhere I should go but man... What if I just love seeing something/one who is just like me and I see myself in this character.. what if sometimes I wanna be some guy and have fun with other people who are also some guys.
and what does it mean if ever since I was little I've seen myself in my mind's eye preforming in the real world as certain characters. Like yea I'm just sitting here reading but I'm actually [character from thing] I like. In my head I look like him while I'm reading ... chat am I normal
#ghoul.txt#thinking a lot.....#idk why I'm hesitant to interact w kinnie spaces cos I've heard mixed reviews on some aspects#+ thru being online I've met a few individuals who took it to very um... Odd places and it affected our relationships...#but i wanna make friends who also like to be funny guys and get my visions
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It's just constant. I reblog things I see sometimes that talk about trans women being banned, and every single post is talking about someone new. They're the only ones who get banned at this consistently of a rate. I have seen full cock and balls on this website that doesn't even get flagged(much less deleted), but anything that talks about being trans (ESPECIALLY about transfemmes) in a positive or even "wholesome" way gets flagged. Everything they do is scrutinized under the harshest possible lens for what MIGHT be "fetish content"(read: enjoying being trans), and they just ban them. Afterwards, they say "she was a filthy pervert, we swear, for real! Why would you need proof, just trust us! Not on OUR good Christian website!"
Honestly, even when they pull a reason out, I think they're making up something to justify the reality: they think that the existence of transfemmes is inherently a fetish, and therefore if transfemmes talk about being happy about any aspect of being trans, they are posting sexual content and deserve to be banned. More than anyone else on this website.
#personal#i have no idea what to tag this with so im not going to#i dont know why im still on tumblr anymore#a place without trans women is no place i want to be#but i dont know where all my friends are and i already lost a lot from dropping twitter#ive heard mixed reviews on cohost and i know like two people on it#i have a bluesky but no one is there so i never check it#i get overwhelmed by discord servers with more than ten semi-quiet people#i tried talking anyone at all into pillowfort and now it's been so long i dont remember my username or even my signup email#watching a huge part of my community slowly disappear is.#sickening. there's also dread because. because.#we're all just people! all of us! and you dont get to decide that one type of person doesn't deserve to live#anyway im sorry im not trying to make this about me which is why this is in the tags#i dont want to tag this with tags where it might get seen because i dont want to take away from what they have to say#im just. scared. im scared of a lot of specific experiences in the world completely disappearing#and i needed to get it out#ill probably delete this after i wake up
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so like 2 days ago I finally read one of the comics I bought blind a while ago with comics that I was actually looking for.
anyway Rat Queens is just mid, if not below average. I wrote a rant/review about it but before i finished it I realised this title is just not worth it lmao
After I read it I only wanted to start reading Dungeon Meshi so I can read sth actually good tbh and maybe i’ll sit down to do it today kjhkjh
#my posts#rambling#idk why i’m putting it off for later I KNOW I WILL LIKE IT KJHDFKJBD#I’ve been spoiled a lot (that’s how I know this series is such szkicelcore) but i still wanna read it from start to finish#before i dive into anime#bc i’ve heard they’ve changed and cut some things so i wanna see the og first#Anyway if you want a short answer why I didn’t like Rat Queens#basically it suffers from this typical „adult comics” problem where everyone talks the same#and the dialogue feels so stiff and unnatural bc the author prioritizes adult jokes over substance and whether it makes#sense for the characters to actually say it or if it fits the context of the scene#basically what everyone else just calls „h//bin h/tel problem” (it’s actually handled way better than h//bin obv#but it’s still pretty bad)#Other stuff i didn’t like: artstyle is nice but faces are drawn so inconsistently that sometimes i couldn’t tell#that someone was supposed to be a character i’ve already seen#or the resolution of the main plot takes a couple of pages while the real climax is a battle related to some random troll#we’ve seen at the very start of the story (i know that’s the joke; like „haha i bet you thought this troll wasn’t gonna be relevant again”#but i would still rather have a proper resolution to the main plot…and maybe actually a better plot too you know kjhdjbd)#also they neglected my girl Dee - she was my favourite bc her design is cool; she’s an atheist paladin and mostly talks like a normal perso#the atheist-paladin thing is questionable but another character points it out so i guess they have an explanation for it#in the next tomes - but i’m not gonna buy another comic from this series so i will never find out lmao#Another thing that irks me that isn’t related to the comic itself are all the reviews at the back comparing it to LOTR of all things#„It’s like a mix of sex and the city and LOTR haha” „this is LOTR but with sexy ladies” shut up shuuuut uuuuuup#You guys know only one fantasy book series and it shows#if anything this comic is clearly inspired by DnD with all the references they make for rolling the dice etc#but only as a remark from the narrator at the end of every chapter so also not really#Anyway i need to read dungeon meshi dammit
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do i.... try reading 'my beloved oppressor'..... hmm
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seeing news of the new sims pack has me like
because i had to delete all my sims data/mods/cc/remove the game from pc to try to save even a little bit of space (which barely still worked) but with a new pack adding a lot of the dating stuff i like,,,im thinking lowkey of maybe playing vanilla? 🤔🤔🤔 however i realize with my cc/mods gone, it'll FUCK over my previous saves 😭😭😭😭
#moony bun hours#like had saved a backup of my mods/cc but its prbly waaaaaaaaay out of date by now#just from the updates ea has been making n everything so#i also still kinda want the for rent pack#because i had an idea of all my storyworlds on one lot#but ive heard/seen how buggy it is and how it fucks with saves and man#also idk just thinking about managing the hotel/apt is a pain;;; but i want the stuff IN the pack ykno?#had originally looked into gettin a usb#i have an sd card and it works but still sims + everything else takes up space + i had wanted to get other games on steam#and thats a whole other rabbit hole before i decided to just stick to my switch#but point is i miss sims so im thinking about usb again#but they always break because they stick out/so i was looking into ones that are flush to the port#but reviews are mixed#so now im back to thinking about trying to clear my sd card some and see if i can download sims to it#its been a pain trying to configure sim stuff to a different location 😭😭😭😭 because no matter what i do it'll create a folder on desktop??#which yeah okay makes sense ig#but like hhhhh that almost defeats the purpose of moving it to a diff location so i could use cc#and i know there are tutorials and i have watched them#but ya bun is not the most savvy or smart to follow so kdjbnkjnbgfn#anyway this has been an insane long ramble#its 3am and im thinking about sims#i was thinking of clearing up my sd card anyway so maybe its fortuitous timing
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downloaded star trek resurgence and read the idw prequel comic last night as a heads up in case i go insane
#comic was solid i like the characters#we'll see how hard i get into it ive heard positive-mixed reviews in the story department#ill forgive A Lot with star trek if the concept is interesting To Me and the format/characters feel right#and tbh its already checked those boxes for me from what i know so far so im optimistic#alex lore
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order for delivery!
pham hanni x fem!reader
synopsis: hanni is a terrible multi-tasker and it's very evident when her phone is in between her ear and shoulder while she orders delivery. she's messily figuring out what to tackle on her calendar first as she mumbles her order, what lecture notes to go over, when her midterms fall---and oops, she just said 'love you, bye' to the worker on the other end of the phone.
warnings: none(?) i think it's just rly silly and cute and fluffy ; anything else i didn't mention ; not proofread
a/n: ugh she's so cute and such a loser and UGH anyways i wrote this so quickly but maybe that's because i love thsi fic so much it was so so so fun to write omfg ENJOY!!
hanni is a terrible multitasker, it only ends up in her getting things mixed up and done slower. still, she does it anyway.
her phone is tucked awkwardly between her ear and shoulder, fingers tapping at the laptop keyboard while scrolling through lecture notes. “uh, yeah… chicken lo mein with extra chicken… and um also…” she squinted at the calendar on her screen. “what was i supposed to— oh, right… midterm next wednesday. right, cool.”
on the other end you listened patiently, smiling to yourself and holding back a small giggle as she mumbled half an order while clearly being busy with other things.
“wait, sorry!” she apologizes quickly, realizing she hadn’t ordered what minji and haerin had asked for. “also six steamed pork dumplings— no, twelve please. shrimp fried rice and… wait, i already said that, right? ugh—anyway, just, yeah, add that too.”
you ring it all up, smiling wider. “anything else?”
there’s a brief moment of silence until you hear, “huh? oh, no, that’s it.” she replies absentmindedly. she had been paying no attention at all, flipping through her notes and muttering to herself quietly about what she needed to review before the weekend. “uh, yeah, thanks—love you, bye.”
another beat of silence passes before you chime in, voice playful. “love you too.”
you could practically hear her freeze, the realization hits her. you hear a gasp on the other end of the phone, sharp and followed by a small curse.
‘w-wait, what?” hanni stammers, cheeks heating up like crazy. everything hanni had been bombarded with halts. her hands freeze on the laptop, her phone almost slips from her shoulder, and the papers she had been holding with the other hand have all landed on teh counter. everything hanni had been thinking about—midterm wednesday, lecture notes, module 2.2, chapter three reading—dissapear from her mind in a blink.
she hears a laugh on the other end, then a voice that sends a shiver down her spine.
“your total is $28.41, by the way.”
“god, i’m sorry.” hanni rushes out the apology, face palming herself. “i didn’t mean it— not that i don’t love you! well, i mean, i don’t know you, so i don’t love you. not that i hate you! no hard feelings. i’m not saying you’re— okay i’m, i’m going to go. bye. thank you. sorry.”
hanni presses the red button on her phone, ending the call and cringing to herself. hanni is more than glad that her friends in the living room hadn’t heard the most embarassing phonecall of her life. if any of them were to witness it, she’d never live it down. her cheeks are fuming against her hand; she’s a mess, she really needs to stop tackling twelve things at once even though it brings her some type of comfort—less chaos during lots of chaos makes it seem like something manageable.
she clicks through a bunch of tabs, skims through a few lines on her paper, and then closes her laptop. she does this while being distracted by the whole one minute interaction from earlier, shooting herself in the head mentally everytime she thinks of it.
less than twenty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up. hanni knows it’s not the person on the phone, because when the man speaks, it’s not the same voice that sent a weird shiver down her spine when she realized they said “love you too” back to her.
she takes the two bags over to her living room, setting them down in front of two ravenous students—otherwise known as her best friends danielle and minji—watching their eyes sparkle just from the sight. she rolls her eyes at them, sitting down against her small couch and leaning against as they waste no time to dig in and unbox.
hanni’s the last one to reach in and grab something to munch on—mistake number one. mistake number two is catching minji furrowing her brows at a piece of paper, pickiing it up and reading, instead of stopping her before she can do any of that.
her best friend reads it outloud in a confused tone: “i put two extra fortune cookies in there,” minji begins, danielle scoots over to read too. “hope your fortune is as sweet as your voice. love, the girl you don’t hate, but don’t love :(“
“p.s. you sound cute when you’re caught off guard ;-)”
minji finishes reading, and then the two of her friends look up, staring down hanni.
“hanni, what’s this?”
“i— give me that!” hanni says, face burning up. she swipes the paper from minji’s hand, looking at the paper and covering it with her hand like her friends hadn’t just read it together. she cringes, closing her eyes and falling down on teh floor. “i’m an idiot.”
“hanniiiiii” danielle whines, scooting over to shake her by her shoulders while she’s on the floor. “what’s that about? do you have an admirer or something?”
“i can’t tell you, i just, i’m so stupid.”
“dude, what?” minji questions, completely ignoring the steaming, delicious food on the coffee table. “explain—now.”
hanni feels her heart beating like crazy, then she gives in and sits up. her face is most definitely beet red, maybe even worse when she glances at the note again.
“i accidentally said ‘love you, bye’ to the worker on the phone.” hanni says quietly, shaking her head. “and she said it back.”
“she what?” danielle and minji say in unison, looking at her in disbelief.
hanni lets out a weird noise, overwhelmed and flustered beyond words. she looks down at the note again through the spaces in her fingers as she covers her face, not noticing any name or anything that might lead to another encounter with the mystery girl on the other end of the line. this disappoints her a bit, but even if she were to have a name or number or anything, she wouldn’t be able to face you.
after getting teased to death, the trio indulges in food after a very long and tiring study session. the conversation shifts to annoying professors, upcoming midterms, plans for when they all have free time—but hanni is still thinking of you, oddly enough.
—
a little over a week from that day, hanni orders takeout again. she’s somehow forgotten (for the most part) her embarrassing interaction, probably because her midterm is tomorrow and she’s completely forgotten to eat. her phone sits in between her shoulder and ear again, head tilted awkwardly to rush out an order.
“alpha waves, altruism, anorexia nervosa… shit, sorry. um yeah, i’d like six steamed dumplings please, pork. umm… chow mein— no, scratch that. shrimp fried rice please.” her words are hurried out her mouth as she furrows her brows at her laptop screen, clicking through slides and trying to comprehend two units of psychology in one night. “that’s it, thank you, love you.”
hanni stops in place, frozen in shock. there is no way.
“wow, you must be smitten, huh?” she hears on the end of the line, followed by a small chuckle. “love you too, ‘hp.’” hanni had never used her full name when ordering things, well, only food. she always had this fear of sharing her legal name unless it was for unconsumable orders. “your total is $14.89 by the way.”
you hear a groan on the end of the line, followed by what sounds like pens and pencils hitting the floor.
“...you alright?”
hanni, caught off guard by the whole conversation for the most part, but also the fact that you noticed how she had just spilled half her supplies onto her apartment floor, answers with a simple, “yeah.”
“that’s good to hear.”
“i’m really sorry, again, for the… you know.”
“your undying love for me?”
“what?” hanni says, completely disregarding the pens, pencils, and highlighters on the floor. “i- no! no. i’m not in love with you! i didn’t mean it—”
“i’m teasing, hp.” she hears the smile in your voice. “would you like an extra fortune? last time i had heard from you i remember something about a midterm.”
“you remembered?” it sounds a little pathetic, maybe desperate coming from hanni, but hanni couldn’t care less. she’s tired, overwhelmed, and has gone over so much work in the span of a few days that she really can’t think or function correctly.
“yeah, not many people sound as young as you. it’s usually a parent or something ordering for their family at this time. plus, you made my shift.” you confess, “i thought it was cute, you know, how frantic you had ordered your meal.”
“i’m really sorry about that, like seriously, i’m really, really sorry.”
“it’s okay hp.”
“right, yeah. i uh, i have to study. sorry— i don’t know why i’m saying sorry, ugh, sorry. thanks, bye.”
“no ‘love you?’” you ask, and before hanni can answer you respond, “kidding. i’ll throw in two fried wontons, have a good night hp.”
the call ends and hanni blinks a few times as she tries to process what just happened. she’s embarrassed beyond words, just as flustered too. there might even be a blush on her cheeks, she can’t stop thinking about how smooth you were with your teasing, plus the way your voice sounded.
hanni thinks it’s the midterm getting to her, the stress. she cleans up the mess on the floor and goes through her vocabulary notes. she hears a knock on the door twenty minutes later which makes her jump in her seat.
she grabs the bag of fried rice and dumplings, placing it on the counter before taking everything out. hanni hears her stomach rumble a bit, she definitely underestimated how hungry she was.
before hanni digs in, she notices two fortune cookies and a note at the bottom. she completely ignores the cookies, grabbing the note and opening it up to see the same small handwriting from last time:
“i’m guessing your initials are hp? i could be wrong…
hp like harry potter? it makes sense because you’re magical.
good luck on your midterm! hopefully you’ll order for a post-midterm celebration.
p.s. there are extra fried wontons ;p”
hanni smiles as she reads the note. pause. hanni stops smiling immediately when she becomes aware of the fact that she’s smiling because of a note. a note from a mystery woman on the other end of the line.
—
midterms are over, all of them. hanni had gone through all four midterms. all four. hanni’s burnt out to oblivion, finding comfort in her bed as soon as she gets back from her last midterm. she checks her messages and is greeted by the groupchat she’s in with danielle and minji.
minji: FINALLY i feel like a fish that’s been gutted out it’s not even finals lowk wasn’t even that bad actually how about you guys
danielle: my midterm is in an hour! wish me luck :D how was yours hanni?
hanni: i’m about to PASS OUT why did i choose forensics
minji: because you’re a nerd don’t let one biology midterm screw you over who’s going to take care of my body parts when i suddenly get murdered
danielle: woah quite a situation, no?
hanni: uagghshhskafhjk i’m going to sleep GOODNIGHT do you guys want to come over later dani do you need time to unwind before you come over
danielle: no that’s alright! i find your apartment quite cozy i’ll just crash there right after, thanks han okay i’m going to review a bit more wish me luck!
minji: good luck mo dani!! you can do it we love you
hanni: good luck! you’ve got this
danielle: ❤️
hanni smiles at danielle’s message, she’s always so positive—even through text, even during these trying times. she decides to pass out for almost two hours, waking up groggy and finding herself almost tripping all the way back to her couch in the living room. she sighs as she collapses onto the cushions, waiting for minji and danielle to come over.
then her thoughts race back to you, embarassingly enough. she thinks about your stupid flirting, your stupid voice, and the stupid giggle she could hear through the phone. she thinks about how stupid she is for smiling, how stupid she is. everything is stupid.
hanni is fantasizing about some random person she’s ordered affordable chinese food from, she doesn’t even know her name.
(hanni’s brain is mush.)
instinctively, she goes through her recent calls, dialing the number of the restaurant that serves her favorite dumplings.
it rings for a few seconds before someone answers, “hello?”
the voice isn’t familiar whatsoever, hanni feels a strange discomfort in her stomach.
hanni doesn’t realize that she hasn’t spoken a word until the second “hello?” is uttered. she breaks from her trance.
“hi, hello, yeah, hi.”
“hello, what can i get you?”
hanni purses her lips before replying, “oh, um.” she sounds like a sad child. “fried rice, i’ll do chicken. wontons, fried, twelve of them. could i also get beef-broccoli lo mein?”
she hears nothing for about three seconds, then a hum. “got it, could i get a name for that order?”
“hp.”
“y/n’s ‘hp?’” who the hell is y/n? hanni thinks to herself.
“what?”
“nevermind.” the worker says with her monotone voice. “will that be it?”
“yeah, thank you.” hanni doesn’t say ‘love you’ this time. she tells herself it’s because she’s not preoccupied with at least three things in that same moment, but a part of it is because it’s not the same voice that she had been expecting to hear. “what’s the total?”
“$24.12. it’ll be over in a little more than twenty minutes.”
“okay, thank you.” hanni says, and instead of hearing something snarky back—she hears a hum, and then the call ends.
…
you walk into work later than usual, one of your midterms had been pushed a bit later, so your hours were cut off.
as you walk in, you catch your coworker’s head snap up. as soon as she realizes it’s you, she relaxes a bit.
“good evening haerin!” you beam, somehow upbeat and lively even after your grueling calculus midterm. “miss me?”
“just had to take more calls than i ever do in one week.” she sighs, watching you move over behind the counter and push your bag under the desk. “so maybe a little.”
“awww, you missed me so much.”
“shut up.” haerin groans, sitting down in the little chair where no customers can catch her. “you know what you missed?”
“what?”
“your girlfriend called—miss hp.”
“hp?!” you say it like you’ve just missed the train that comes every two hours. “seriously? did she say ‘love you?’”
“of course that’s what you’re so animated about.” haerin rolls her eyes at you, shrugging. “she didn’t.”
a sigh of relief escapes your lips, a very exaggerated one for that matter. then you frown, sitting down in the spinny chair nearby and rotating yourself in your seat like a little kid.
“i can’t believe i missed her.”
“you’re actually insane for flirting with a customer.”
“she has a cute voice.”
“you don’t even know her y/n.” haerin scoots over, but only to flick you in the forehead. she leans back in her seat, smirking. you rub your skin and pout at her, making her roll her eyes once more before she continues on, “she could be old, crinkly, and married or something. what if she’s like… balding? what if her teeth are falling out and she—”
“why are you assuming the worst haerin. you’re so— whatever. she sounds my age, i guess. it’s just fun to mess around, it’s cute.”
“i will never get you.” your coworker crosses her arms, jumping at the sound of the phone ringing. “could you get that? i’ve run out of social battery.”
“it’s a phone call haerin.”
“talking to you drained me already.”
you frown, making her giggle at you.
—
the next time hanni calls is two days later, because she’s a loser that can’t seem to get the thought of the chinese restaurant employee who keeps flirting with her (albeit smoothly) out of her head. the phone rings twice, then someone picks up, and hanni waits eagerly.
“hi, pledis plates, how can i help?” it’s you, it’s you. the memory of hearing ‘y/n’s hp?’ pops up in her head—could you be y/n? you have to be.
“hi.” hanni says simply, biting the inside of her lip. she hears a small chuckle on the other end of the line, slightly relieved.
“if it isn’t hp.” it comes out cheeky, making hanni blush. “missed you, you know?”
“what?”
“did you miss me too?”
“i–” yes. hanni did miss you, not like she’d admit it, at least out loud. “i’d like to order dumplings.”
“harsh.” you respond jokingly, “six, pork, and steamed, got it.”
“you memorized it?”
“you ordered it last time.”
hanni can’t help but laugh, smiling as she holds the phone against her ear. “you must be head over heels to be remembering my order.”
“you’re the one who confessed first though?”
“that was a mistake.”
“uh huh.” amusement is laced in your tone. “it’ll be five dollars, should be there in less than twenty.”
“great.”
hanni doesn’t know what else to say. you both pause, letting silence and the faint static ring in your ears.
“what happened to the usual goodbye?”
hanni feels herself shrinking in her bed, feet kicking slightly, blush forming. god, she’s head over heels, she’s insane, she doesn’t know a single thing about you other than the fact that you have a really endearing voice and that your flirting is enough to have her smiling like an idiot.
“thanks, bye.” neither of you hang up after hanni says it, knowing there’s something missing. hanni pinches the bridge of her nose, feeling her stomach closing in on herself and simultaneously doing a flip. her heart nearly jumps out of her chest as she chokes out, “love you.”
“i was waiting for that one.”
“a-are you— really?”
“yeah.” you simply state, and you say nothing else but, “bye hp.”
“you’re not going to say it back?”
you grin to yourself. hanni hears a small, amused laugh fromthe other end, sending a shiver down her spine. “i don’t fold that easy, maybe next time.” you hang up right after, leaving hanni dumbfounded.
hanni looks at her phone like you’re going to call back, but you don’t. she drops the phone on her bed, putting both hands over her face and feeling her skin burn against her palms. she groans, then groans again, and sighs finally.
maybe next time. there’s going to be a next time—hanni has that at least.
—
hanni calls again the next monday, around two days after the last call. it’s the same day she had first said the infamous ‘love you’ to you on accident. she calls at around the same time, laptop on her lap as she taps lightly on the backspace key, though not enough to actually press it. she wonders to herself for a moment, is the dent in her wallet really worth it? has she really reached rock bottom?
“pledis plates, what would you like to order?”
it’s not you. hanni sinks into the cushion of her couch and feels herself deflate. she can’t always call with the assumption that you’ll pick up, there are other employees after all. this time, it’s the same monotone voice she had heard before, a stark contrast to your flirtatious, lively tone.
“hi, i’d just like—”
“ah, hp.”
“how did you—”
“i remember your voice from last time. y/n was quite sad when she realized she’d missed your call by twenty minutes.”
“what do you mean?”
“she came into work late, midterms or something.”
midterms. the information alone gives her the assumption that you’re also in college, maybe even in her grade, and if she’s pushing it maybe you even go to her university. she conjures up a better picture of you now, not quite clear or concrete, but it’s something.
“is she a student?”
“i don’t know if i can leak that, she told me to be very secretive about her. i don’t think you’ll have trouble finding out more though, she never shuts up.”
hanni snickers, so you’re a talker too. yeah, hanni’s into that.
“well now i know her name.”
“do what you will with that.” the girl mutters. hanni hears a small sigh, then another response, “hey, y/n was curious about you. are you in high school?”
“what— no! do i sound like it?”
“you sound young.” the girl on the end of the line—haerin—shrugs. she continues, “y/n thinks you’re the same age as her, she also assumes you’re cute. i guess no one will know until a miracle happens.”
“i can’t tell if you’re insulting me.” hanni chuckles awkwardly, but haerin doesn’t respond. “but if it helps, anyway, i’m a sophomore in college. tell her i’m interested in forensics.”
“okay.”
silence follows again, but haerin hasn’t hung up, and hanni still holds the phone against her ear expecting something more. hanni decides to take another step, asking, “y/n, how is… could you like, describe her?”
“physically or…? well, i can do a brief description. to start off: annoying, jokes a lot, pretends to be all mopey when insulted. physically: taller than me—i’d say taller than a lot of women. she has a nice smile i guess, but it’s the kind you want to wipe off her face, ugh, it’s like she’s making fun of you when she does it. her hair is also always a little messy, she says its for the ‘appeal,’ but i see none.”
hanni fights back a giggle. this woman has just spilled a good amount, a perfect amount in hanni’s eyes (any amount is alright, anything more than a name). this ‘y/n’ is tall, taller than most women, and hanni is shorter than most; hanni is into that, she loves taller girls. and messy hair too? that’s cute, probably. as long as it’s not the same type of messy that men rock around—men that barely shower or do anything. essentially: compsci majors—then hanni will be alright. you sound wonderful.
“did you want to order anything? or are did you just want to flirt with the idiot.”
“hey! hey, hey. lets not— ugh, okay, could i just get um, six pork dumplings—steamed.”
“okay.” the girl says quietly, and then hanni hears some light tapping. “six dumplings for hp.”
“hanni. it’s hanni. my name is hanni.”
“got it the first time.”
“you’re bright, aren’t you?”
“your order is going to be there later, bye.” and then the girl hangs up, leaving hanni speechless.
—
hanni waits a few days to call, because she doesn’t remember dialing on tuesdays or wednesdays and hearing a voice that brings her a little thrill. she leans against her counter waiting for a response, then lights up when she hears,
“pledis plates, how can i help?”
“y/n.” hanni says, almost relieved. “hi.”
“hi hanni.” your coworker must’ve leaked that conversation, hanni thinks. “nice to hear from you.”
“likewise.”
“can i get six dumplings? pork and—”
“---steamed, yes.” you’re smiling as you say it, like an eager little child. “nothing else?”
“no.”
“alright.” you respond, clicking two tabs and ringing up her order. you don’t give her the cost or anything, staring at the screen and deciding to huff out, “forensics?” you’re starting a real conversion now, what a step.
hanni is smiling hard, she’s so giddy that she’s twirling a piece of hair around her pointer finger.
“yeah, i think it’s nice.”
“cute.” you mumble, “i’m studying kinesiology.”
“is that so?”
“unfortunately.” you say lightheartedly. hanni doesn’t know what to respond with, she wants to continue the conversation and hear your voice longer, but there’s nothing she can think of. does she ask for your number? how you are? hanni is useless, she’s always been useless when it came to girls.
“hanni?”
“y-yes?” hanni cringes at the slight stutter.
“your total is five dollars. it’ll be there soon.”
“oh,” hanni says sadly, “i mean, um. okay.”
and then she hangs up, a little defeated, but there’s always a next time…right?
when her food gets there, she hurriedly pays the delivery driver, making her wallet cry even more. there’s a note in the bag, along with two fortune cookies. the note has your name and a number on it, making hanni gasp and smile to herself again. there’s a little ‘text me, miss hanni. i’m looking forward to it.’ and as soon as hanni reads it, she clasps her hands together, squeals quietly into them, giggles, and kicks her feet in the air.
hanni tries to do some schoolwork, managing to get ten minutes of reading down, a few sentences jotted down, and then the rest of the time she’s thinking about her new saved contact. she hasn’t texted you yet, mainly because she had been overthinking about what and when to text you. she contemplates texting danielle and minji about it, but she’d just be teased.
this is the first time in a while since hanni’s gotten anywhere close to something romantic, or maybe this is platonic, but the flirting doesn’t support that idea. she’s tried tinder—once, once and never again—and going to parties. nothing works out, none of them make her giddy and giggly like this.
before she knows it, two hours have passed, and so she decides to send a simple “hi, this is hanni!’
too enthusiastic? too bland? too basic? ugh. hanni groans, lying on her couch in an uncomfortable position.
you reply almost immediately with ‘hey, i’m off in twenty minutes. let’s call?’ and hanni has to put the phone to her chest, looking up at the ceiling in disbelief.
twenty minutes passes by too quickly, hanni hasn’t even figured out what to say. she looks at her phone, waiting for you to call, and when you do, she short circuits; hanni drops her phone on her face.
“hello?” it’s you.
it’s you.
“hey. um, how was work?”
“aw, even asking me about work.” she can hear the smirk in your tone, rolling her eyes as she smiles to herself. “it was fine, my favorite part was when this girl ordered pork dumplings though. she has a cute voice.”
“is that so?”
“yeah. hey, can i ask you something?”
“what is it?”
“i work tomorrow, but its the morning shift. i end at one, i was you know… wondering if you… wanted…” you sound nervous, this is a first for hanni. “if you wanted to share some dumplings, free of charge.”
hanni covers her mouth almost immediately, suppressing any signs of her freaking out.
“are you asking me out?”
“only if you say yes.”
you hear a giggle before you hear a “yes.”
“really?”
“mhm.” hanni smiles again, thinking of something that’ll leave you just as flustered. “okay, well… i’ll see your tomorrow. bye, love you.”
“love you too hanni.”
—
minji’s usually the one who picks up orders if it’s not delivery, and hanni is almost always taking the orders. so when hanni enters the shop for the first time, she’s quite fond of the smell of ingredients being stir fried or steamed, as well as the interior of the place. it’s very nice inside, hopefully the nice person she’s been meaning to see shows up soon.
there’s a girl by the counter, she’s only slightly taller than hanni, and her eyes are oddly cat-like. she looks up at her with those eyes, then shoots a small smile.
“hi, how can i help?” this is who the monotone voice belongs to. her image somehow matches perfectly with the voice.
“hi, i’m hanni.” as soon as she introduces herself, the workers eyes widen.
“woah, you’re real.”
“surprising, i know.”
“y/n is changing in the back—she was eager to get off fives minutes early so she wouldn’t be in uniform when you showed up.” haerin explains, shaking her head. “it’s nice to meet you, you’re very pretty.”
“thank you! i appreciate it. you’re pretty as well.”
haerin doesn’t get to respond. the person who does respond is the girl walking up to the register, scooting haerin to the side with her knuckles and tapping at the screen. the girl isn’t in uniform, and she’s also really good looking.
you run a hand through your hair as you clock out through the system. “hey, did hanni ever stop by?” you ask haerin, not looking up from the screen because you’ve typed your code in wrong.
“look up idiot.” your coworker snickers, and when you do, you’re met with the most gorgeous girl you’ve ever seen.
you notice her right away, hair flowing down past her chest, curtain bangs perfectly framing her face. her plump lips and striking features make you pause. sure, you expected her to be pretty—maybe even conventionally attractive, everyone is in their own way—but seeing her in person? she’s beyond that, practically model material. my god. your lips part slightly in surprise, and you catch yourself, quickly swallowing as you both smile at each other at the same time.
you clock out—thankfully not typing in the wrong code again from nervousness—and step out from behind the counter. a small tote bag hangs from your shoulder, and a plastic bag dangles in your hand. you glance down at it.
“twelve dumplings—steamed, pork, everything you like—for the pair.”
hanni’s smile lights up her face, and you can't help but think about how adorable she looks, how effortlessly charming she is.
“why thank you,” she says, her voice soft and playful. it sounds better in person than through the phone.
“you’re gorgeous, by the way,” you blurt out before you can stop yourself, still marveling at her. “like, i expected you to be pretty, but… wow.” you can tell haerin is fake gagging or rolling her eyes or something like that from behind, she’s probably already on her way to avoid witnessing this interaction.
hanni blushes instantly, the red creeping up her cheeks. if she were at home, she’d probably be giggling and kicking her feet, but for now, she just looks away shyly, smiling. “thanks, you’re really cute too.”
“you think?”
“yes.” she meets your eyes, still flushed. “can we eat? i’m hungry.”
“right, yeah. i hope it’s not too forward, but is the park nearby good? we can settle down and, um… talk more. you know, more than just about your usual order.”
hanni laughs—you might die right then and there—before responding, “that’s perfect,” and then she nods, looking at you. her eyes are soft and warm and wonderful.
“great,” you echo.
“great,” she repeats, a small laugh escaping her.
you both walk side by side, still a little stiff at first, the mutual attraction between you creating an unspoken tension. but as you settle into the rhythm of conversation, the initial awkwardness fades away, replaced by the easy flow of natural chemistry. each step feels lighter, the distance between you shrinking with every passing word.
—
—
—
hanni hears a knock at her door, confused because she hadn’t expected any guests other than minji and danielle—who are already in her living room leeching off her netflix account.
she opens it to see you, which immediately brings a smile to her face. she almost leaps over to hug you, nearly making you drop the large bag in your hand.
“someone missed me.”
“shut up.” hanni says before pecking your lips. she looks at you, your dorky, adorable face, and then presses another longer kiss. “come in babe. i didn’t expect you to be here.”
“i got off early because i had to cover. i wanted to surprise you, and i know you had company over.”
“oh yeah,” hanni had almost forgotten that her best friends had been there.
she leads you over, helping you take off your tote and setting it on her counter. her friends catch the two of you from their peripheral and wave, then their eyes light up at the sight of the familiar bag in your hand. you set it down, placing a the container of fried rice, lo mein, and dumpling down as they treat you like a savior.
“thank you so much, i owe you my first born.” danielle says, giving you a playful pout.
minji snickers, scooting up to the coffee table. “you’re the best thing that’s happened to us—to hanni.”
you look over to your girlfriend, that’s right, she’s your girlfriend. hanni is rolling her eyes at you, pushing your shoulder, and then pulling you in by the wrist to sit next to her. she’s not one for pda—especially in front of danielle and minji—but under the table her fingers graze your skin, which makes you smile.
you grab a secret container from behind your back, handing it to hanni. when she opens it, she opens her mouth, shocked and grateful for the six steamed pork dumplings that you brought just for her.
#kpop x reader#newjeans imagines#newjeans x reader#new jeans x reader#newjeans hanni#hanni pham x reader#pham hanni x reader#hanni x reader#pham hanni#hanni pham
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I've heard a lot of mixed reviews about the way Falin is portrayed here and am curious about where people actually stand on the subject.
For people attracted to women (not necessarily attracted to Falin, just in general):
EDIT: Thank you everyone for participating! No one did anything wrong but I'm turning off replies/reblogs now bc I'm tired of this filling up my notifications! Thank you everyone for being civil with one another 😊
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Cozytober Days 8 & 9: Baking gone wrong & The slight smell of smoke in the air.
masterpost
Sometimes when Jason was feeling a little melancholy and a little soft, he’d talk about when he was a little kid, back before he had become a Wayne. It was usually just a quick thing, some memory about his mother that Jason could tell in a sentence or two. One time it had been about how they would sometimes, when they had enough to spare and she was off the drugs, they stop by the little corner store. It was owned by an old Cuban couple. There were these odd cone shaped egg sponges drenched in a spiced sugar syrup and they would buy one and split it. By the time they got home their fingers would be sticky with the syrup.
It had taken a lot of researching, but Danny had fond what he thought had to be the dessert (called capuchinos of all things) and the easier shaped cabezotes that he hoped to cook. He’d researched and watched videos and it was only four ingredients, if he didn’t count the syrup, so he thought he had a shot.
He bought twice as many eggs as he needed, just in case.
Luckily Jason’s kitchen had all the things that Danny needed. He set them out on the counter like he was prepping for a chemistry experiment. Baking was just chemistry, he’d been reminding himself. It wasn’t like cooking. Baking was a science. He could manage science. He used to manage science a lot.
Of course, science also killed him.
Danny tried not to dwell on the past as he started to work. Tongue peaking out he cracked each egg over a tuperware first, letting the whites drip between his fingers as he gently cradled the yolk to move to the final bowl. Honestly it felt a little like ecto. He’d read that the whites could be saved to make meringue, but Danny though he’s leave that up to Jason. It did seem a waste though once there were nine discarded whites so he put them covered in the fridge.
One more for the bowl, beat in a little sugar, carefully fold in a little corn starch, and a lot of doubt this would work even though he had followed the recipe. He had just finished piping out the mixture into the cupcake tray when he heard Jason coming up the stairs by the ding of an alert. He shoved the tray in the oven and everything else to the side or into the sink. He leaned against the counter, trying to look casual.
“Danny, hey boo,” Jason said with a tired smile.
“Hell, babe,” Danny said back and came over to help Jason unwarp from the fall weather. “Long day?”
“Yeah. But I think that we’ve done everything we can. Now it’s on all the parties to review things one last time and hopefully agree.”
“You’ll get there,” Danny assured him before pressing a soft kiss to Jason’s lips… which maybe turned into Danny bring pressed against the wall and the kisses lengthening and deepening.
Danny was very much enjoying it all until Jason broke apart to ask, “Do I smell smoke?”
“No! My baking!”
Danny scrambled off Jason and over to the oven He barely remembered to use a kitchen towel to pull out the slightly smoldering cupcake tray. It clanked as he set it on the cook top with groan.
“I forgot to put in the bowl water was they would burn!” Danny groaned and buried his face in the warm towel. “The what the fuck you call it!”
“The bain marie?” Jason asked as he came over.
His arms wrapped around Danny from behind and he sunk into the hold.
“Yeah… I’ve got more of the mix I guess. I can start over,” Danny said, voice quiet. He’d just wanted everything to go right.
Jason was quiet as he ran soothing hands up and down Danny’s arms. Finally he asked. “Are those…?”
“Cabezotes. In this shape they’re called cabezotes, but yeah. I wanted to surprise you with them. I have dinner ordered too and a show for us to watch. I thought it would be a nice night.”
“It is nice.” Jason insisted.
“It’s burnt.”
“How about this. We’re going to pretend I never saw these. You put another back in without me showing up and surprising you and I’ll go shower in the mean time, okay?”
Danny tilted his head back to pout up at Jason. “You’re trying to trick me.”
“Yes,” Jason said with absolutely no remorse. “Entirely for my own good too. How about it?”
Danny took a deep breath. “Fine, okay, go shower and let me work. I’ve got this.”
“You do,” Jason said. He pressed a kiss to Danny’s neck before he headed off to the bedroom.
Time to get to work, again.
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Froggie's Guide to Budget Headphones
@nimrella I am more well versed in traditional audio and home theater with big honking speakers, so I don't have much personal experience with headphones and headphone accessories. But I can tell you what I've learned from other people who are in the headphone world. And since you are starting more within the "budget" range I think I am somewhat qualified to guide you at this level.
You have three paths to choose from...
Wireless, low impedance wired (no amplification required), and high impedance wired (amplification required).
Basically... easy, medium, and hard.
But also... good, better, best.
Wireless Headphones
Wireless headphones have come a long way. Audiophiles used to scoff at them but now there are options that really do sound fantastic and the Bluetooth data rates are good enough to deliver high resolution audio. They also have noise cancellation options which may be desirable. If you do not have a quiet, dedicated space for listening to music you might find high end noise cancellation a godsend. People love them especially for planes, trains, and automobiles.
I don't know if everyone knows how noise cancellation works or not, but basically the headphones have microphones that listen to the world around you. They measure the incoming sound and then generate an opposite sound that just about kills ambient noise. If you play the same sound 180 degrees out of phase it basically nullifies those sound waves. The tech works best between 50 Hz and 1000 Hz. For reference we hear between 20 Hz and 20,000 Hz (lower if you are old). So anything super high or super low pitched can still get through.
In any case, if that sounds appealing, wireless headphones should be a consideration.
The other advantage of wireless headphones would be the ease of use. They pair to your phone, your laptop, your TV. They have controls to help you pause and skip songs and change volume. Some allow you to take phone calls.
But the big downside is the sound quality takes a bit of a hit. As I said, the bluetooth standards have actually gotten very very good. (Though there are audiophiles who will swear it still sounds like a 1990s MP3.) So streaming the actual media files are not really an issue. But trying to cram all of that tech into lightweight headphones you can wear around town all day requires compromises and added expense. Not to mention the battery has a limited lifespan. You may have more limited or inconsistent frequency response, poor dynamic range, distortion problems, weak output, and a high noise floor. Wireless options still can't match wired headphone systems in the same price range. And the wireless options that come close are quite spendy.
Wireless Headphones Suggestions
In your price range the two wireless options that I hear mentioned over and over again are the Sony WH-1000 series and the Bose QuietComfort. They are both well regarded for having a good mix of sound quality and noise cancellation while also being a decent value. You might be able to visit a Best Buy and demo them to see if you prefer the sound and comfort of one over the other.
The Apple AirPods Max are said to work really well within the Apple ecosystem. They have some interesting spatial sound modes and very good audio quality. I've heard the noise cancellation is some of the best currently available. But they seem too expensive and a lot of people feel they are too heavy. I also suspect they are due for an update. That said, if you wait for the new ones to come out and buy used, they could come into your price range. I'd really only suggest these if you have multiple Apple products that you will be streaming sound from.
Before we move into wired headphones, let's go over some terms that you might see pop up when doing research and reading reviews.
Froggie's Glossary of Audiophile Terminology
Driver A speaker is made up of drivers. Some speakers have a woofer, a midrange, and a tweeter. Each individual thing is a driver. And with headphones you will often hear "headphone driver" instead of speaker because it is more specific. Headphones typically have an all-in-one driver that does all frequencies. A woofymidteet.
That's not a thing.
I made that up.
Frequency Response This is the range of frequencies produced by the drivers from low to high. You want to make sure your headphones have good, deep bass. That will make more of a difference than anything else. It's the foundation of all sound and what is sorely lacking in devices with small/cheap speakers.
Music typically doesn't go much below 40 Hz in the bass range. So if you are only interested in music listening, that is plenty deep. Movies can go down to 20 Hz, but this isn't necessary for a good immersive experience unless you have giant subwoofers. So if you find something that can play ~40 Hz with decent output, you should be all good. Every speaker has a frequency response curve. It looks something like this.
The X-axis represents the frequency and the Y-axis represents the volume in decibels. We are most concerned with the 40 to 10K Hz section, as most sound happens there.
I'm not going to go super in-depth and overwhelm everyone, but typically you want this graph to look fairly flat in that range. A flat-ish line will give you a "neutral" response.
The above graph gets a little bumpy in the high frequencies. That means those frequencies will have a higher volume than the lower frequencies. If a higher frequency has a big peak, that could make your sound seem too bright or tinny.
Or you could have the opposite problem. You could have a null in the bass where the output dips below everything else. This can make your sound a bit anemic and lacking punch.
Whereas a more flat speaker will output all frequencies at about the same volume and sound much more balanced and smooth.
Equalization or EQ A flat response is good because it will accept EQ well. Equalization is where you add peaks and dips in volume deliberately to taste.
This can be as simple as 3 knobs.
Or it can be a more complicated parametric EQ.
A lot of digital EQ methods have presets to help get you started. I promise it isn't as intimidating as it looks.
Some people like to buy speakers/headphones that are EQ'd how they prefer out of the box. (Or if you get Beats by Dre they just turn the bass all the way up and say "Fuck them other frequencies!") But this is often a bit of a crapshoot because it is hard to EQ a speaker that sounds good in every room or every environment or just to varying individual preferences.
By making the speaker more neutral, it can be much easier to equalize specifically to your needs and enjoyment.
So if you like the bass a little bassier and the mids a little quieter, you have the power to dial that in with great specificity on a neutral speaker. You can apply any EQ you wish and you won't be fighting the speaker's predetermined response.
Basically if you are reading reviews and the headphones are described as "flat" or "neutral" that's a good thing (in my opinion). Just remember nothing is going to be perfectly flat. We're shooting for flat-ish.
If you do decide to get a neutral sounding pair of headphones you may find them a little bland out of the box. Do not panic. You just need to learn a bit about how to apply EQ, but thankfully YouTube is plentiful with tutorials.
The Harman Curve was researched to be most liked by the most people, so you might start there. (Also, SoundSource is a very popular EQ app for Mac.)
Dynamic Range This is the spectrum of how quiet to loud something can get. If you have speakers that can render both a pin drop and a big explosion with great fidelity and proper intensity, you will be in audio heaven. There is so much emotion and drama that can be expressed by expansive dynamic range and most cheap speakers compress it to an inch of its life. When the soft and the loud sounds are the same you miss out on so much audio information intended by the composer.
Distortion This is just how loud a speaker can go without breaking up. Low distortion is good. While every driver distorts at some point, usually that is at a much higher volume than you will use. This typically only plagues cheap, tiny drivers.
Sound Pressure Level (SPL) This is a measurement of how loud a speaker can get. While you don't want to listen to anything louder than a sustained average decibel level of 80 to 85, you do want peaks over 100, especially in the bass. Bass is less damaging to ears and hearing damage is all about sustained volume rather than quick peaks here and there. Most headphones can comfortably do an SPL between 90 and 110 dB. The ability to go louder is good, but only because that expands headroom, not because you should actually listen to them that loud. So if the headphones can get super loud, that means they will have a much easier time delivering normal levels.
Noise Floor Every sound system has background noise. You know that static you hear when you turn a radio up really loud when there is no sound playing? That is your noise floor. You want that to be as quiet as possible because if you turn up the volume, you don't just turn up the volume of the sounds you want to hear, you also turn up the volume of that background noise.
If you can find a headphone system with a decent low noise floor and you can also find a very quiet space to listen in, you could have a religious experience. I don't think people realize how much the room you are in matters, even when listening to headphones. When you are in a quiet room, you can play at lower volumes. And that can mitigate a lot of the problems associated with cranking the volume. You won't damage your ears for one thing. But the speakers won't have to work as hard so you'll have less distortion and better clarity.
Noise mostly comes from the amplifier, which I will talk about later on.
Froggie Pro Tip: If you want cheap speakers to perform better, go to a quiet room and move them as close as possible. This allows you to play them at a lower output while maintaining your desired perceived volume.
Okay, now we can finally talk about...
Wired Headphones
You have open back and closed back styles.
Open back tends to have a more natural sound and feels more comfortable. Like listening to regular speakers. People generally feel they are able to listen to them longer because they don't create a seal and cause pressure on your ear drum. However, if sound can get out, it can also get in. So with open back headphones people nearby will be able to hear what you are listening to. And if you are not in a quiet room, all of that sound will leak in. Meaning you have to increase the volume and the noise floor and the distortion.
Closed back seals off your ears and gives you a quiet and immersive experience. You can be in a noisier room without having to crank the volume as much. Some prefer this style just because it helps them feel like they are going into their own personal dimension of sound. These are great for ASMR too. But ear fatigue can become an issue and you may need to take little breaks to let your ears breathe and your ear drums rest.
And the last thing we need to discuss is impedance.
The impedance of headphones mostly determines how hard they are to amplify. Impedance is measured in ohms which is this little horseshoe symbol... Ω.
Lower ohms means less electrical resistance and easier to amplify.
Higher ohms means more electrical resistance and difficult to amplify.
If you get headphones rated below 100 ohms, they can typically be driven by smartphones and laptops just by plugging into a standard headphone jack. Though depending on the device, 100 may sound a little quiet so you may want to go lower. 30 ohms is fairly typical if you plan to drive your headphones with everyday electronics.
Above 100 ohms you are going to need some sort of amplification—usually a DAC with a headphone amplifier. (There are DACs without amplification so be sure to check that.)
A DAC, or digital-to-analog converter, is already built into your phone and laptop. But those are very small, don't have a lot of power, and might have a higher noise floor due to interference from other components and heat and just a lot of electrical signals nearby.
By getting an external DAC w/amplifier you separate out the components, make them larger and more powerful, and typically improve the sound quality. Because it is more isolated, the amplification can be much quieter despite being more powerful.
If you plan to stay in a static location and you have high impedance headphones, you can get a little box DAC that sits on your desk. It works like an external sound card for your computer. If you record music or stream, a digital audio interface works great as well (remember to check the Ω).
But if you need to be more mobile with your headphones you can get a little USB dongle DAC, though you will probably not get the same sound quality and power.
Both will be superior to the internal DAC built into your computing devices.
So, low impedance headphones are easier if you need to move around.
High impedance headphones are better for staying put in a single location unless you get a dongle DAC.
Just remember, high and low impedance doesn't necessarily indicate quality. It's just that in order to drive high impedance headphones you need the larger amplifier with the nicer components and, by necessity, you automatically get that quality bump.
You can get very good low impedance headphones. However, if you power them *only* with a smartphone, you may not use them to their full potential. Which is why getting an external DAC is a good idea regardless.
But the nice thing about low impedance is you can get the headphones and still use them until you save up for the DAC. Or you can use them as normal while out and about and have a special listening spot at home with the DAC.
To review...
Low impedance and high impedance can both be high quality.
Low impedance (less than 100 ohms) works with anything.
High impedance (more than 100 ohms) requires amplification.
Both will be used to their full potential with a DAC/headphone amplifier of some kind.
Wired Headphones Suggestions
Again, I have not personally listened to any of these. I am just relaying what experts I trust have mentioned as being nice quality in your price range.
The beyerdynamic DT 770 headphones are some of the most well-regarded budget headphones I've heard of. They come in low and high impedance versions.
The Sennheiser HD 560 high impedance headphones are also praised for their value and performance.
If you can go a little pricier...
The HIFIMAN Sundara headphones have low impedance and can be driven easily by all your devices.
And the HIFIMAN Edition XS are even lower impedance and about the same price.
And if you want to try a DAC, I've heard good things about both Fosi and Schiit (yes, like the poopies), though there are many different brands. Just make sure the DAC has a headphone amplifier rated for the ohms you need.
The FOSI K5 Pro is a cheap "beginner" DAC that will power anything up to 300 ohms. This is the kind that sits on your desk.
And if you want a more portable dongle DAC, you can get something like the iFi Go Link.
I've also heard good things about the AudioQuest Dragonfly, though I hate recommending AudioQuest products due to them claiming they can do magical things. They use scientific gobbledygook to scam customers most of the time. That said, the DragonFly might be their only valid product.
Note from Future Froggie: AudioQuest just can't help themselves. While the Dragonfly itself is a good product and not a scam, they developed the "DragonTail", which is a scam.
It's just a USB A to C Adapter for the Dragonfly. But they have to find a way to justify 30 fucking dollars so they came up with this bullshit.
Definitely need to stabilize my geometry. If I have unstable geometry that could lead to quixotic trigonometry. And we all know that could introduce vertices into dodecahedrons. Which leads straight to accelerated cosmotic entropy catalyzing the heat death of the universe.
Fucking AudioQuest.
ANYWAY...
An inexpensive DAC may be all you ever need but DACs can get crazy expensive—just like headphones. And if you are really fancy you can get a DAC and a headphone amplifier as separate items. Audiophiles claim when you simplify components to a singular function you increase quality. While I think there is some small truth to that, I suspect they just think the tubes look neat.
Froggie's Disclaimer: I am not telling you to get these specific things, but I do think you'll probably be happy with anything I've suggested. But sound is a subjective experience and it is always best to test things out before you buy them, if possible. Or make sure there is a return policy. You might see if there is a brick-and-mortar store nearby that allows you to demo headphones. Remember that comfort can be just as crucial as sound quality for long listening sessions.
Final Thoughts
Good sound has been life changing for me. And I am excited when anyone goes down this journey. While the stuff mentioned is considered "budget" by audiophiles, this can give you a good starting point if you want to upgrade down the road. You'll get to know your preferences and get a better understanding of how this all works and choose your own adventure from there.
Though it is very possible you'll be quite content with "budget" and the sound quality is more than enough.
Personally, while I am very happy with my current home theater setup, I am hopeful one day I can upgrade one budget tier above where I currently am and that will be my endgame. I've heard $10,000 speakers and it is mostly a land of diminishing returns once you reach that level.
I'm fine in "budget" land.
Further Research
I didn't mention the different types of headphone drivers because I didn't want to put too much data in everyone's head. But if you want to do additional research you can learn about the 4 main types... dynamic, planar magnetic, electrostatic, and balanced armature.
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ʚɞ✧˖ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ- end of beginning,, pt.2
part one
emily engstler x fem!ex!reader
you got ready in record time. the combination of your nerves and excitement together spurred you into a frenzy, encouraging you to bounce around your hotel room like you were being rushed.
emily said she’d pick you up soon, causing you to hurriedly make the finishing touches on your look tonight. there was that feeling still, deep down, that you wanted desperately to impress her.
the shared conversation you had echoed in your mind the moment the two of you departed. she asked you out to dinner. your mind teetered on the line between two ideas: she wanted closure so you two could be teammates without your history getting in the way, or, maybe she hasn’t moved on.
you think in some ways you have, but was that even true? if emily came to you with a confession of love that she never let go of, what would you do?
there wasn’t time to ponder the thought because your phone dinged. it was a simple message from emily telling you she’s here. ‘waiting for you outside’ she said, simple but enough to make your heart beat faster. you gathered your essentials and left the ghost-like hotel room to meet emily outside.
when you caught sight of her, leaning against her car, hands buried deep in her pockets and ankles crossed, you knew you were done for. she looked so beautiful, no less than you remember.
“hey, sorry, i know i’m a bit early.”
“it’s all good, i was ready anyway.”
she eyes you up and down, smiling to herself because she recognizes the bracelet you’re wearing. it’s one of the many she bought for you during your relationship. a token of her love for you.
“i was thinking we could get some hibachi, your hotel is kinda close.”
you nod, affirming it’s a pleasant choice. the car ride there is filled with simple conversation. you realize it’s the kind of conversation you’d have with someone you barely know, but then again, it’s been two years since you’ve seen emily.
she is different. but so are you.
“okay i’m gonna warn you, i’ve heard mixed reviews about this place.”
the two of you had been seated almost ten minutes ago and still haven’t been given drinks. you didn’t mind much but you could tell by her bouncing leg that emily was losing patience.
“and you didn’t feel like that was worth mentioning earlier?”
“well i remember you like hibachi and this is the only place i know of that serves it.”
she’s giving you a playful shrug as her fingers toy with the lanyard attached to her keys. you can’t help but let your eyes linger, watching her facial features shift slightly when she breaks eye contact or noticing the almost invisible shake in her hands. she seems much more reserved, a lot quieter than you know her to be.
“hey do you remember that time,” she smiles as she pauses to collect her thoughts, “when we got hibachi and the guy accidentally burnt you with the shrimp?”
“oh my god- yes. i still, to this day, have no clue how he managed to flip it on me instead of the stove.”
“dude that was classic. i mean, unfortunate for you but definitely funny.”
emily leans back against the wooden chair, relaxing into the seat. she was looking at you again and still smiling at the contagious happy memory. it was a popular story to tell during your relationship.
“yeah okay, but when i mention that time in the park when you fell on your face it’s not funny?”
“no. you threw the ball way too high. i don’t even know how you threw the football like that.”
“from practicing when we went to the beach that one time, remember? we’d throw the ball on the beach at night.”
all the recounts of priceless stories never to be forgotten makes your chest swell with fondness. to see the way emily smiles when talking about them warms your heart even more because she’s genuinely happy and you sense no resentment in her tone. she’s appreciative of the time she got to spend with you, even if it was short-lived.
“i don’t think i could ever forget that. it was the best vacation of my life for sure. it was so good, school had kinda been stressing me out and all so i was just happy to get away with you. i remember our first night there you wore that really pretty dress, the white one, and you asked me to take pictures of you at sunset but it was so windy and you kept getting mad. oh my gosh you were so mad. i still have the one picture where you’re pulling that piece of hair out of your mouth and you got so upset because i took the picture and sent it to myself. but you looked so beautiful anyway, it was good.”
you don’t say anything, too shocked to properly collect yourself. though you knew ex’s could be friends, you weren’t aware it was like this. you’re in awe of her really, feeling your cheeks grow warm at her compliments of your beauty.
your eyes stay trained on emily but she’s looking straight ahead at the wall, rummaging through all her memories containing you. you’re all she can think about in this moment and she’s not aware how obvious that simple fact is. she was too lost in thought, too busy missing her past to realize her word vomit.
“i remember too how an ocean wave knocked you over and you got a bunch of sand in your hair,” she leans back further, trying to submerge herself in the memory. “and i had to help you wash it out that night cause your arms were tired. then for the rest of the week you made me go in the ocean with you every time so i could help hold you up, i think i can still feel how tight you’d grip me when a wave came. and we’d always get burnt cause we’d float together for ages. but i didn’t even care because i was just happy to be there with you. nothing else mattered to me.”
the intensity of her words finally dawn on emily, immediately stiffening and clearing her throat. the air between you is thick and her confession weighs in the space between. you have no idea how to react or what you could possibly say to her, but you don’t have to because someone is finally asking what you want to drink.
the rest of dinner was tense with very few shared words. every now and then emily would comment on the quality of the food and you’d say nothing in return.
what could you say?
the ride back to your hotel was even worse. the soft hum of the radio and an occasional road bump was the only noise to fill your space. your eyes stayed glued on the sunset out the window the entire time, trying to remember how you ended up in this situation.
you thought back on everything. from the moment emily asked you to be her girlfriend, the moment you broke up with her, to earlier in the night when she asked you out to dinner. anecdotes of your shared past with her flooded your mind and refused to leave. it wasn’t until she parked at your hotel that they drained, leaving you with a teary waterline and regrets of past decisions. and current ones.
“thanks for taking me out tonight.”
“yeah, no problem.” silence lingered as you climbed out of her passenger seat but once you were about to shut the door she spoke up again, “i’m sorry.”
but it was too late and she wasn’t even sure if you heard her because you just kept walking. shaky breaths and silence consumed the walk back to your room, nothing in your mind but blame on yourself.
you should’ve said something, acknowledged her admission and reciprocated it. instead you sat there silently and visibly watched her shrink in on herself.
you were a coward.
you were a coward back then when you broke up with her, not able to face the uncertainty change would bring. it had only gotten worse. you realized that maybe some things don’t ever change.
the harsh opinion you harbored for yourself only made you feel worse. once you reached your room the tears began to fall one by one down your face, a pent-up sob escaping you from your spot on the bed.
emily was still parked outside, watching the time pass by. with each minute she debated on going inside, straight to your room. she wasn’t entirely sure what she’d do or say when she got there, but she just wanted to see you again.
it had been thirteen minutes since you left. thirteen minutes since she saw you. thirteen minutes since the opportunity to win you over again had passed. thirteen minutes sitting in silence waiting for you to text her something, anything. but you never did.
she couldn’t leave knowing she didn’t try.
so she didn’t. she remembered seeing your key card, your floor and room written across it in bold lettering. that’s where she found herself now, standing on your floor gathering the courage to just knock.
finally she did, hearing you shuffle on the other side of the door. she could swear a drop of sweat was dripping down her forehead, bringing the back of her hand up to wipe at it.
“emily?”
“can i talk to you?” she was going to throw up, she was going to throw up, “please?”
“yeah.. are you okay?”
“are you?” emily looks at your face, makeup disrupted by wet streaks and eyes slightly red, red enough to be noticed. her tone came out harsher than she meant it to, pushing her way into the cold room. you don’t answer, instead busying yourself with shutting the door and turning the lights on.
“can i sit down?”
“go for it.”
she props herself up on the end of your bed, hands resting on her bouncing knees as you approach. you lean against the wall a few feet away as she begins to speak.
“i’m sorry for dinner, if it made you feel weird or anything. i think i should tell you, just get it out of the way, that i still think about you. all the time. and, like, i miss you. i know we’ve both probably changed and we’re different people now, i get it. but nothing, nothing, amounts to the way i felt with you. when i saw you today i felt like old me again. i want nothing more than to be like that again.” emily catches her breath, the jumbled confession coming so suddenly. “i went back to louisville last summer, just to see jeff and stuff. being there reminded me of you. i felt better there because i felt like part of you was there with me.”
she looks at you expectantly, waiting for some type of reaction. you just stare at her with an unreadable expression, tears dipping at the corners of your mouth and you bring a gentle hand up to wipe them away.
“do you ever..” she buries her head in her hands, dragging them down her face, “do you ever feel that way? tell me you don’t and i’ll leave if you want me to. i just have to know so that i can move on with my life.”
“emily..”
“it’s okay” she whispers, “it’ll be fine.”
she stands, tucking her flyaways behind her ear. your eyes connect with a silent message as you try to find the right words. you turn your head away from her direction because you feel like she’s peering into you, dissecting every thought and tearing you apart to find what she wants.
“i think about you all the time.”
it’s short but effective. emily’s heart skips a beat and so does yours, the gap between your bodies lessening.
“getting on the court with you again was so amazing and for that reason alone i’m happy to be here. i left louisville because i couldn’t do it without you. and i spent, oh my god, so many nights regretting my decision. i miss you emily. i’ve missed you for two years.”
neither of you have any words left as she surges toward you, pulling your body into hers. your lips meet in a passionate kiss to make up for lost time, finding peace within one another. emily holds the back of your head to press you as close as possible because she fears you’ll slip away again if she doesn’t. she finally has you back, nothing is taking that away from her.
you’re the first to pull away, placing your forehead against her own. your noses rest side by side, lips touching and fingers tangled in hair as you both pant from loss of breath. you’re so relieved that you’re almost convinced it can’t be real.
there’s no negative feelings plaguing either of you anymore, finally feeling complete.
the rest of the night is spent with tangled limbs and gentle kisses to pass the time. she never leaves your embrace and you don’t leave hers, feeling content right where you are.
you can finally wave goodbye to the end of your beginning with emily, ready to move into the next chapter with her.
ʚɞ✧˖ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
thank you @astroph1les for literally giving me all the motivation to do this
i hope no one forgot about pt.1 i know it’s been a minute 😬😬😬🤗
not spell checked yet but it will be later!!
pls enjoy!!!!!!!
#i love emily engstler#emily engstler i love you#rea loves em#emily engstler fic#emily engstler smut#emily engstler imagine#emily engstler x reader#emily engstler blurb#emily engstler#angst with a happy ending#wlw slay#wlw angst#wlw imagine#wlw yearning#wlw post#masc lesbian#lesbian imagine#lgbtqia#lgbtq#lesbian#bisexual
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Absolutely loving the I’ll be there for you universe not sure if you’re taking requests but I’d absolutely love to see reader getting jealous over Steve bring a girl back to their apartment 💗
𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐀 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆
"i'll be there for you" universe masterlist
pairing: bestfriend!roommate!steve harrington x fem!reader
word count: 2.8k words
warnings: (slightly)jealous!reader, explicit language, angst, soft(ish) ending
summary: in which a night that was already pretty shitty turns even worse when steve brings his date back to the apartment
author's note: i loved this request idea !! this became a lot more angsty than i initially planned/thought it would be 😭 (also i'm so happy that ur enjoying this little universe so far<333)
general note: everything in this universe/series can be read as standalone oneshots but to understand the full “lore” it would prob be best to read the other stuff too<333
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Fall 1985
There were some moments in your life that were so ridiculous it made you feel like you were in a movie; one that was a solid mix between comedy and horror.
Tonight proved to be one of those moments.
And it wasn’t even the fact that you were in your bedroom stuck studying for a Psych test on a Thursday night rather than doing your original plan of seeing some show at The Hideout with Eddie that made you feel that way. Instead, what made you feel like you were trapped inside the horror-comedy that was called your life was the fact that you had completely forgotten that Steve had gone on a date tonight. But, you were all too quickly reminded of that when you heard the squeaky front door of the apartment open and close, and then not too long after that, you heard the sound of Steve’s voice saying something you couldn’t fully decipher, but a girl’s very elated giggles were the response to his words.
“Shit,” You muttered to yourself as you immediately stopped reviewing your notes and started desperately searching for your Walkman and headphones.
Moments like this were not supposed to happen, and after how quickly you and Steve learned that the walls in the apartment were insanely thin, you put a sort of system in place to make sure this kind of thing never happened. You would always tell each other when either of you were going on a date that could potentially lead to the person being brought back to the apartment, so that you or Steve could plan not to be there if that happened. And if it was actually a last second thing, you would try to do it at the person’s place instead of abruptly bringing them to the apartment.
For the most part, this little system worked perfectly fine, and in the four months that you two had been living in the apartment there hadn’t been any issues with it. But, apparently, tonight Steve either forgot about the system or he decided to disregard it entirely.
And yes, in his mind, you were supposed to be gone for most of the night anyway— Steve hadn’t known that your plans abruptly changed when you were reminded of the test that you’d entirely forgotten about— but he definitely did not tell you that his date would potentially take this turn. When he talked about it early that morning as you two shared a quick breakfast before you ran off to class, he seemed pretty passive about the whole thing. He had quite literally shrugged and gave you a half-hearted “yes” when you asked him if he was at least a little excited about it.
Somehow it was this realization that things had apparently gone so well that he decided to bring Vanessa back to the apartment that bothered you a bit more than the situation you were now in where you could potentially hear scarring things at any given moment.
It annoyed you further that, technically, in some fucked up kind of way, all of this was your fault.
Vanessa was in your communications class; it was probably the one course this semester you actually didn’t hate. You and her had the kind of relationship where you did consider her a friend, but you also knew that you’d probably never see her again once the semester was over and you two were no longer in the same class.
It had only been last week when you offhandedly mentioned Robin and Steve’s Family Video to her when she mentioned to you that the video store by her never had anything good. And when she showed up to class the next day gushing about the “hot guy that worked there,” you told her that he was your best friend. She then excitedly asked if there was any way you could help set them up, and you stupidly told her yes.
It was probably one of the dumbest things you’d ever said because you and Steve never set each other up with anyone; it was one of your unspoken rules. There was just something about doing so that felt weird and somehow wrong.
Being each other’s “wingmen” while you were out at some party or giving dating advice was completely different. Doing either of those things didn’t feel as personal as actively looking for someone for each other; mainly because you knew that you both would be so damn picky and would only want to find that “perfect person” for one another. And then there was the more selfish side of it where neither of you really wanted to do it because your friendship always shifted in a certain kind of way whenever either of you got in a serious relationship.
In your head, Vanessa wasn’t that perfect person, and you wished that you could use your selfishness as a plausible reason to tell her that you didn’t want to help set them up, but it wasn’t a good reason so you did it.
That same day, you told Steve that she thought he was cute and gave him her number, and he called her and the rest was history.
You didn’t even think that anything would really stem from the date because of how uncaring Steve seemed about it this morning, but you once again thought about how that apparently had changed. And you adamantly pretended that you weren’t currently feeling something weird in your stomach because of that.
You finally found your Walkman and you popped in a cassette tape before slipping your headphones on and going back to reviewing your notes. You fully pushed your mind away from Steve and Vanessa and what they were doing on the opposite side of the apartment in his bedroom.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
It was hard to tell if you were actually retaining any of the information that you had been studying for the past hour. But, it was easier to just pretend you were instead of letting yourself think about anything else.
You kept your focus on the chapter you were reading and the music playing in your ears; a new album that you just got and were finally getting around to listening to.
You had spent the last five minutes stuck on reviewing a concept that wasn’t making much sense to you before deciding to simply skip it for the time being and turning to the next page in your textbook. It was always in moments like these where you would wonder if any of what you were doing would eventually make sense in the grand scheme of things. If you’d ever learn if there was any point to studying and stressing over a stupid Psychology test, because would it even lead you to where you wanted to be in the future? However, it was hard to fully answer that question because you still didn’t even know what you wanted your future to look like. And that was just another thing that you wanted to push your mind away from at that moment.
Right as you were about to put a new tape in your Walkman, you once again heard the squeaky sound of the front door opening, and then after a few moments and hearing what you assumed were goodbyes, you heard it close.
With a loud sigh, you stood up from your desk, closing your textbook and notebook in the process because you were over studying, and you were now ready to become at least a little mad at Steve for making you feel like a hostage in your own home for the last hour.
You immediately noticed him in the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge.
“Hey,” You said, and he jumped a bit before quickly turning around to face you; it was a little funny seeing how much you slightly startled him, almost enough to make you not feel mad at him anymore, but not quite.
“Woah, I didn’t even know you were here,” He said as he closed the fridge. “I thought you were gonna be with Eddie all night.”
“That plan changed because I remembered I have a test tomorrow, so I’ve been here studying for the past few hours.”
“Oh,” He said, and then it seemed as if something quickly clicked in his mind. “Shit. Did you hear–”
You interrupted him by immediately shaking your head. “No, thank God, no.”
“I’m sorry, I had no idea you were gonna be here tonight,” He told you, his voice then became soft. “I also didn’t think that would happen tonight, which is why I didn’t even think about mentioning it this morning.”
You once again wondered what happened on the date; how great it must have gone. But as much as you wanted to know everything about it, you also wanted to know absolutely nothing. You felt that weird feeling in your stomach coming back. This time you were able to decipher what it was— annoyance, and maybe even a little jealousy.
That was foreign to you because you never felt that way when it involved Steve and who he was dating or even simply flirting with. You didn’t necessarily like all of the girls he brought around, but you were always supportive and never felt an ounce of jealousy. Maybe it was the fact that you facilitated this situation that made it all feel worse somehow; like it was “too close to home,” in a way.
You knew that you’d see Vanessa tomorrow— right before your stupid Psych test that you should probably still be studying for— and she’d probably tell you all about the date; excitedly rehashing the details of it. The thought of that happening only made the feeling in your stomach grow, and you quickly became frustrated with yourself for feeling so annoyed about everything right then.
“You want a grilled cheese?” Steve asked, pulling you out of your spiraling thoughts. He went into the pantry to grab the bread. “I was about to make one.”
You nodded at him, happy to pretend that you weren’t internally falling down a very rough hill. “Yes, I’ll take one. I think that’s very fair compensation for the almost trauma you just put me through.”
“I agree,” Steve said as he pulled out a pan. “And once again, I’m sorry.”
“Say that a thousand more times and maybe I’ll forgive you,” You told him teasingly before sitting on the couch and turning on the TV. You flipped through the channels for a bit before settling on a random sitcom, watching it as Steve cooked in the kitchen and the smell of toasted bread and melted cheese started wafting through the air.
“Here you go,” He said barely ten minutes later as he handed you a plate with your grilled cheese on it. “And make sure to cross this next “sorry” off the tab. I’m sorry.”
You laughed a bit at the pouty face he gave you to emphasize the apology. “Thanks.”
He sat down next to you on the couch and a silence settled between you two as you both enjoyed the grilled cheese sandwiches and only half-enjoyed the TV show playing.
The mindlessness of the show made it somewhat easy to avoid your thoughts. However, you still couldn’t help but silently debate whether or not you should let your curiosity get the better of you and ask him how the date went; even though you were almost certain that the answer he gave you would only make what you were feeling worsen.
“So, are you gonna see her again?” You decided to ask him instead.
That felt like the easier question to ask since you fully expected Steve to say no because nine times out of ten, he was rarely ever a second date kind of person; even if sex was involved on the first date. So, if the answer to your question was the no that you thought it would be, there would be no reason to feel this confusing jealous feeling because it wasn’t like anything more was going to stem between them.
You were already mentally swearing to yourself that you’d never set him up with anyone again if this was how you’d feel when you did. Maybe that was another subconscious reason why you both never did this in the first place; deep down you knew just how uncomfortable it would be.
“Yeah,” Steve answered before he took another bite of his grilled cheese. “We’re gonna go to the movies next weekend.”
You only nodded halfheartedly at that because you couldn’t think of any actual words to say in response.
Instead of your current feelings washing away, they only increased tenfold, and then it all settled into something that resembled sadness. And then you became upset at yourself because you couldn’t pinpoint exactly where your melancholy was coming from.
Were you jealous of Vanessa for potentially “stealing” your best friend away? Jealous of Steve for potentially getting into something serious while you were nowhere close to having that? Or simply annoyed with yourself for being the one to have made this happen in the first place?
It was a solid mix of all three, you knew that— that was probably the one thing you were actually certain about.
“You okay?” Steve asked. You were unsure how long you’d been quiet, but the show playing on the TV was now on a commercial break, so you knew that it had been at least a minute or two.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” You immediately told him. You wondered how obvious it was for your best friend to tell that you were quite far from fine. “I’m just… really tired. I’ve been studying for that test for so long and I kinda have a headache, and yeah…” You abruptly stood up from the couch. “I’m just gonna go to bed. ‘Night.”
You placed your now empty plate under Steve’s and then started heading to your bedroom before he could read you like a book and ask you more questions about what was currently going on with you.
“Goodnight,” You heard Steve say before you closed your door behind you.
You knew that you should’ve sat back down at your desk and studied some more, but in that moment you truly couldn’t be bothered. You were suddenly glad that Psychology was your last class on Fridays so you’d have some more time to study throughout the day before having to take the test.
You laid down in your bed and pulled your blanket over your head as you let out a long breath. Every single thing you were feeling was still lingering and somehow it didn’t feel as if it was going away. You hoped it would all be gone by the morning; that you’d wake up feeling the complete opposite of how you were right then, that you’d feel stupid and laugh at how you had felt tonight.
It could’ve been only a minute of you lying in your bed, or it could’ve been ten— you had no concept of time in that moment— but you heard a knock on your door at some point. You ignored it, hoping that Steve would go away, but also knowing that he wouldn’t.
Barely a minute later, you heard your door open and you didn’t have to see Steve to know that he was walking in. He was trying to be as quiet as possible, but the creaky wooden floors didn’t allow for any sort of silence.
You slowly pulled the blanket down from over your head and looked up at him. “Hi.”
“Hi,” He said as he set something down on your nightstand. “Some water and aspirin for your headache.”
A small smile took over your face and you sat up. “Thanks.”
“I know you’re too tired now, but I can help you study a little in the morning, if you want,” He told you and then gave you a playful smile. “I love reading your notecards.”
You shook your head and rolled your eyes. “Shut up, I know you hate helping me study for anything.”
“Yes, but I’ll always still do it.”
You smiled at that. “Okay, well in that case, wake up at eight and we can study for an hour before I have to leave for my nine-thirty class.”
“Got it.”
“Thank you,” You said before leaning your head back against your pillow.
For a moment, you thought about telling him how you’d been feeling tonight; the jealousy, the annoyance. He’d probably think it was funny, just like you would in a few days. But, when you turned your head to look at Steve before he left your room and softly closed the door behind him, you decided against saying anything.
Just in case everything you were feeling right then actually meant something a little different than what you thought it did.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
let me know ur thoughts<333
(requests are open for stuff you wanna see in the universe/series!🫶🏾)
#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington fic#steve harrington fluff#steve harrington smut#steve harrington x you#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington x fem!reader#steve harrington one shot#steve harrington x y/n#steve harrington x reader smut#steve harrington x fem#stranger things smut#stranger things fic#stranger things imagine#stranger things#stranger things series#steve harrington
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