#he's so silly and yet so so sad. i've been crying a lot.
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i hate him i love him i want to throw him against the wall i want to give him the biggest hug. i want to swing him around like a lasso i want to give him a kiss on the cheek and watch his tail wag. i want to ask him WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING but also show him he is still worthy of love. i want to play games on his big weird computer.
#i don't want to like. render all of canon inaccurate or anything.#but i do wonder how and if things would change if he had one slightly healthier relationship.#he's so silly and yet so so sad. i've been crying a lot.#(i've been on my stupid little pseudoperiod for like a week and i'm hoping that's part of it.)#(it's not that i wish i hadn't played the game because i love it but feeling this much is exhausting.)#ship: divine strategy#terminal loveposting capacity
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cw: body hair kink (pubes specifically), light pain play, oral (reader receiving), fingering, scent kink if you squint, soap being his silly self, afab!reader, readers pussy is referred to as her, this feels kinda short
I've been thinking about Soap a lot and I just. he's so into body hair, its actually fucking painful. any kind of body hair but especially pubic hair. its hard to ignore how sad he looks whenever you shave or wax, forcing your underwear to the side to caress your cunt, a frown on his lip. "look at her, so fuckin' bare and naked.." he mutters, shaking his head in disapproval while stroking the soft, warm skin but not enough to give you pleasure. he does it every fucking day, saying he's checking on her, telling you he's gotta make sure she's alright after what you did to her, he has to comfort her.
only his version of comforting your pussy is suckling on your clit, letting his tongue swirl around the swollen nub while patting the growing little stubble. "look a' that.. she's crying because of you, baby.." he mutters, feigning anger and disappointment at you for shaving. "gonna have to comfort her, poor thing.." he shakes his head before dipping it down again, one hand caressing the rough stubble as the other starts pumping fingers in and out of your 'crying' cunt until you see stars. every. single. day.
youd think its over when your hair is a bit longer again, when you have his beloved bush again, but he turns into an even bigger menace then. he's all smiles, patting the bush you're growing and cooing at your pussy about how pretty she looks, placing fucking kisses all over it; he even goes as far to press his face into your hairy muff and just nuzzle it, inhaling your scent deeply. his boner is straining against his pants painfully and he'd love nothing more than to bury himself inside you to the hilt, until his tip kisses your cervix, until his dark, thick locks rub against yours. but he doesn't, not yet at least.
hes gotta make sure you don't do something stupid like this again, punishing you for 'ruining' your perfect cunt like that. fingers tangle in your pubes, giving them mean, painful tugs as you writhe under his grip. he presses your hips back down with his free hand, shaking his head. "it's your own fault baby.. shouldn't have done it when you know how much I love your little bush. maybe this'll make sure you never do it again, aye?"
#i learned something new about myself recently can you tell#soap is as much into hair as hes hairy#pls don't let this flop#gothghostiie#cod mw#cod mw2#cod mwii#call of duty#cod#cod mw3#cod mwiii#John mactavish x reader#john soap mactavish x reader#soap x reader#soap#john mactavish#john soap mactavish#soap cod#cod soap
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Shu Sakamaki - A moment alone
"So-" he began, placing his champagne flute on the balcony wall, "why are you so against the idea of actually being a princess."
You tense, sighing. This conversation was one you had been putting off for a long time, but now sitting out to watch the last stream of guests leaving, escape seemed impossible. Shu had been summoned to attend, and you had been invited only to ensure his presence. While you weren't going to complain about getting to have a guest house to yourself on the castle grounds, and getting to see your boyfriend in all his prince-ly regalia. You did have to give up a lot of the liberties you get in the human world while together. No PDA, less time fraternizing at events and, at this ball in particular, not even one dance. Shu had argued that all of this would not happen if you were an officially engaged couple, and being years into your relationship it wouldn't necessarily be strange to be engaged either. Yet you had turned down the idea when he had brought it up and hadn't spoken of it for close to 6 months now. That was of course until now, finally reunited on a balcony, hidden from the view of the guests as they made their exits and sitting at two separate tables as instructed by the chaperon assigned to you.
"It really isn't that easy to just become a princess"
"It is, you just have to marry me." At this point the stream of guests has mostly ceased. He gets up and moves to sit next to you, knowing full well you aren't going to move until the servant tells you. You tense waiting to be scolded or reminded that you aren't meant to be this close here.
"Tch... this is what irritates me. We're together and you can't act like it. If it's marriage you're worried about we can have a long engagement, or-"
"It's not the marrying you part that has me worried. Shu they hate me, anytime we have even one dance I'm scolded or glared at, and I don't think your dad is my best fan seeing as he had all these eve plans. Now you're acting like an heir again and Ayato and Yui don't want the crown. I've ruined it."
Shu scowls at that, pulling your chair by it's legs to face him. You can feel his colder hands through your clothes as he touches your knees. "I couldn't care less about what that guy thinks or what anyone else thinks. I want you by my side and if you being a princess is mandatory for that then I will make you one."
"I-" you begin your voice cracking, "I just don't want to make things bothersome for you." You can feel tears welling up in your eyes, a mixture of fear and sadness. You hear Shu sigh, then you're pulled into his lap, legs either side of him. The sound of the chaperon trying to speak is cut off as the glass double doors are slammed and locked in his face. Shu's powers having been rapidly developing the past three years you have been visiting the demon world.
"Such a silly woman, crying over untrue things." You feel his hand gently lift your chin to look him in the eyes. "You should know as well as I do that every attempt to call you a bother has been a lie. Everyone else is a pain but you, and the fact you try to deny me the ability to have you with me forever is cruel. Selfish woman playing with a man's heart."
You laugh at that, resting a hand on his wrist, fingers skirting the edge of his jacket sleeve. "I thought you didn't have one." Shu moved to sit up eyes half lidded as his face comes closer.
"That's because it's only for you," his hand moving to your neck, playing with the hair near the back of your neck. He leaned in until his nose touched yours, his eyes flicking between your own and your lips. "Now say you will."
"Will what?"
"Marry me." You feel a box press into your other hand, pulling away slightly you look down and see a ring plucked from your dreams. Shu gently took your left hand, sliding the ring into place, he lifted your hand to his lips kissing just below where the ring sat.
"I don't think I can say no." With that he closed what little space was left between you both to slot his lips against yours.
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Whisper of Pleasure
Prince Jacaerys finds himself enamored with an angel after she helps him relieve all of his stress left behind from the living world.
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𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋ pairing - jacaerys velaryon x dara (an oc)
𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋ word count - 1,665
𝄞⨾𓍢ִ��� includes/warnings - jace getting his first blowjob, light light super light angst like it's barely sad, fluffy smut
𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋ author's note - jacela not being endgame literally hurts my soul so don't mind the mentions of baela i need them to be together for eternity. my first hotd smut im not used to writing dialogue like this hhhhh
The Prince rose from what could only be described as a hallucinogenic half-slumber. One moment, he swore he and his consciousness had disappeared entirely and the next, he found himself on some sort of fluffy surface with a beautiful lady in front of him. He gasped, air rushing into his lungs for a moment. "Who... are you?" He started to feel dizzy, but in a good way. "I'm Dara," The grinning lady announced. "and you're Jacaerys." Jace blinked. He had half a mind to ask her where she got this information, but after observing his surroundings he ultimately determines that he's died and went to the heavens. 'Baela,' he thinks, 'I've left her all alone...'
"It's okay," Dara starts. "She'll be here with you soon. Or, um, one day I mean..." Jace shook his head as he sat up, noticing all of his physical pain was gone and he was given new clean clothes. He'd read about the heavens as a child, and prayed to the Gods more times than was probably necessary for his brothers but he never imagined the space to be so... comforting. A selfish thought makes its way to his brain, though he does not mean for it to. "She will marry someone else." He means it as a question, it comes out as a statement. "She won't, her heart won't let her. She loves you a lot." The angel, Dara, grabbed hold of both of his hands. She pauses for a moment. "You're Baela's soulmate and she misses you greatly." Jacaerys allows his fingers to intertwine with the angel's. If he'll be here forever he might as well stop being sad and enjoy his time, right? The sentiment isn't enough to stop the immediate flow of tears. He's left all his strength on Earth, he supposes.
Dara holds him closely, her body naturally molding to his. She doesn't think of herself as the calming or soothing type so she chooses to say nothing, hoping her actions are enough. Her efforts do not go unnoticed when Jacaerys' hands wrap tightly around her waist. "I miss my mother. A- and Baela... I don't want her to marry another." He sniffles, thinking of how crushed Rhaenyra will be to learn she's lost yet another son. Dara can tell he's been holding back for quite a while. During his living years, he only allowed himself to cry in front of Baela. Bottled up emotions would overflow, causing him to routinely end up sobbing late at night as she cuddled him in her chambers. "I know." Dara feels Jacaerys' hands grip her even tighter. If angels were capable of pain, it would hurt a whole lot. When he finally looks up at her, doing so as if she were the one component necessary to fix him, his eyes are red and his lip trembles. She kisses his forehead while combing through his hair with her fingers. "Everything will be alright in the end." Her protective embrace is the first good thing he's felt in a while. Ease washes over him. "You really think so...?" Dara's smile returns at Jacaerys' stuttered inquiry. "I know so."
🕊️
Jacaerys lies down on the soft, barely-there clouds upon Dara's request. She figured he wasn't quite ready to be met by all of his relatives just yet so the two were now on Mother's Layer, by far the quietest and least hectic of all the heavens. Children were having quiet time, most choosing to lay near Mother herself as she read to them. "This is where I stay," Dara got comfortable next to the Prince. "Thank you... for all this." Jacaerys felt silly thanking an angel, after all helping humans adjust to the afterlife was simply one of her many tasks. She kissed him again, this time directly on the head. Jacaerys felt his face heat up. He was never truly able to let his guard down this much when he was alive. Nights with his betrothed ended with sex more often than not, though neither of them could fully enjoy it beyond the physical aspect on account of the responsibilities weighing on both of their minds.
"You're... very lovely." He mutters. "The lovely one is you, my child." She replies. Being called a 'child' by a heavenly being who looked no more than a year under him in age made him chuckle. Dara is suddenly close, right next to Jacaerys. "I can't be as lovely as you, I..." He stops, his cheeks heating up at the mere thought of what he was about to admit. "I know." Dara places her hand in his, her warmth making him tingle internally. "I know you've sinned. All humans have." Jace sighs and clears his throat awkwardly. "I didn't mean to." He feels the need to prove himself, be more holy in the presence of someone so perfect. "It's okay... you seem tense." She observes quietly. Tense doesn't begin to describe it. At first, Jacaerys thought he could overcome his lust, thinking that perhaps such feelings went away in the heavens. Even so, looking away from Dara's angelic unclothed body and instead directing his focus to her face didn't help him any. Her eyes, colored like the moon and just as captivating, stared into his soul as if she could tell what he was planning on saying before he could. He wanted to hold her, to have her all to himself forever. He wanted to be greedy for the first time in his life.
"Jace?" Dara smirked. Since she could, in fact, read the Prince's, no, her Prince's mind she knew of his true unspoken feelings. He snaps out of it and stops making eyes at her. "Sorry..." His expression is equal parts cheeky and embarrassed. Dara giggles, standing up and turning away. "Come," Jacaerys, curious as ever, obeys her command and follows her to a large room. It had no ceiling, so Jace could look up to see more clouds and the occasional angel flying high up above.
Dara had an unconventional method of relaxation in mind, one that she was sure would work. She'd heard of it first from Father, who was swiftly quieted by Mother for mentioning such concepts within earshot of her "innocent angels", as she so lovingly called them. Dara wanted to be the best angel she could be, rising above her siblings and hoarding all of Mother's praise and affection for herself, so she couldn't possibly be doing anything bad. Additionally, she had a desire to take care of Jacaerys, which included caring for his needs as well. 'Mother knows my heart.' She told herself, 'She won't care if I indulge just a little this once.'
"Jacaerys?" She called out. He was sitting across from her bed as he observed her belongings with a look of awe on his face, being careful not to touch any of the items she had packed into the golden-red box. "Yes?" He answered, not moving from his spot. He was entranced by the glimmer of a purple harp that was placed under her bed. "I think I know what would make you feel better." "Hm?" Jace wondered what tricks Dara had up her sleeve. "You could say no if you want, but —" "Why would I say no?" Jacaerys wasn't suspicious at all of the angel's intentions. Dara takes this as a sign and sits in front of him, their knees touching in an effortlessly intimate way. She then, after waiting a moment for Jace to actually look at her even through his nervousness, pushes him down gently so he lays on the carpet.
"Dara...? What's this?" Dara's hands started at Jace's shoulders and then trailed down. She shushed him, her right hand resting on his bulge. His eyes widened. "Dara!" He whisper-shouted, sitting up a bit now so that he was leaning against the wall. Dara could only smile, feigning innocence. The two exchanged curious expressions, a minute's silence is taken before Jacaerys decides to let Dara work her godly magic. In an instant, his pants are tugged down to his knees, exposing his obvious hardness, which Dara gazes at with much interest. "Wow." Hesitantly, she takes just the tip into her mouth at first. "Mmm..." She hums, lips wrapped around Jacaerys' cock. The taste is sweet in a way and unlike anything she's ever had before. Carefully, she lets the rest of his cock slip past her lips. It twitches in her mouth as her tongue glides up the side of it. Jace's whole body starts to feel hot, hands grasping at the soft surface below to keep himself grounded. "Dara - Dara, I..." He inhales sharply, cursing himself for almost finishing so soon.
Dara handles her Prince with feathery softness, her warm and wet inviting mouth enveloping his cock each time she moves her head down. Jacaerys' noises fill the room, ranging from gasps to proper whimpers and moans. "Dara, angel, I can't..." A delicious ache once thought to be unachievable forms deep inside him. He feels lightheaded, but not in a bad way, he feels all of his troubles being lifted away and cast aside with every nudge of his tip to the back of his angel's throat. He moans her name one last time when releasing in her mouth, her fingers digging firmly into his thighs.
Dara stays still for about three seconds as to not spill any of the thick, sticky liquid before coming up for air at last. Her tongue swirls around in her mouth to savor the foreign taste. She hums, sitting up next to Jacaerys who looks her up and down with half-lidded eyes. He's completely amazed, feeling like he's just entered two new worlds in one day, one literally and one figuratively.
"I can never repay you." Dara fully digests Jace's words while watching him fumble to stuff himself back in his trousers. "You don't have to..." She kisses her Prince on his lips sweetly, making him taste himself.
#house of the dragon#hotd jacaerys#prince jacaerys#jacaerys velaryon#jacaerys targaryen#jacaerys smut#jacaerys imagine#jacaerys f&b#house velaryon#hotd fanfic#hotd smut#house targaryen#jace smut#jace velaryon#jace velaron x oc#house of the dragon smut#jacaerys velaryon smut#oneshot#lemon#smut#oc x canon#f & b#fire & blood#fire & blood fic#fire and blood#asoiaf#fluff smut#hierophilia#harry collett#house of the dragon fanfic
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I had to scribble out his ending dialogue. I just couldn't lose this image i had in my head, of this poor charachter who tried his best still (for lack of a better word) dying, and not screaming or crying when it's happening but instead saying this and then gently apologizing, like it's his fault, and that's the last he ever says. I think this scene's gonna stick with me for a while.
I'm actually so sick about him like god like "I've wasted my whole life hiding, I think I should try saying hello." God. Me when the character is kind and well meaning and funny and silly and yet tragic by nature. Me when the character never gets the good ending they deserved (in a well written way.). What the Hell. God
Super Ultra Rambling under the readmore if you're curious about my elaborate Thoughts;
Ik is my favorite charachter because he is very silly and my best friend ever in the world but also because of the Tragedies. He's a person used to fear, a people pleaser, who let mr. Sob manipulate him and turn his hotel into something he never wanted, simply pretending it was still the same, who spends the whole game trying so hard to keep you in high spirits and unworried even when he himself is terrified. Someone who cares too much and tries so hard and probably never even gave nearly as much to himself as he did to others. Even at the end, as he describes to you all the horrors that unfolded on earth, he makes jokes and quips and keeps up his goofy manner of speaking despite the information clearly disturbing him.
When he tells you the story of his death, he never once mentions anything about how sad it is, and if you respond with "I'm sorry," he says like basically "oh it's fine," before hesitating with a concerned look on his face. His death may be something he avoids thinking about a lot.
And describing him, i can't help but relate to him, understand him, perhaps that's why I am so Insane about him right now.
I think this game is about, no matter what happens, at the end of it all it will still be the end. It may even end sooner than you'd expect. The human race before dying out solved all their problems and created a perfect world, Ik tried hard to do good and make people happy, Mr. Sob gained his own twisted control over many souls of the afterlife, you the player just kept going onward as much you could, but they all came to the same unceremonious end. I suppose it all matters on your perspective- do you focus on the ending, or how you got there?
When Ik tells you about his death, he describes how he saw the stars, and the view of his town from all the way high up, how he stopped and looked for a long time. But he couldn't stay forever, he had to keep moving. I think that's the part that mattered most. Even in so terrible a situation, he got something beautiful out of it. And like i guess part of the game is, "we can't stop what's coming, there's no use hiding, so we may as well face it with a smile and a greeting." Or maybe more like "the time will pass anyways" type of thing. If that makes sense.
I've seen some people interpret the Morning as everyone is brought to a final resting place peacefully. And of course, it's wide open for everyone to interpret it however, but for me personally I thiiiink Ik was probably right about it being the end of time. The thing seemed a little bit too obliterating-you-type-deal in the final cutscene. All the humans are dead and it's time for their afterlife to go too now. Maybe it's to make room for something that'll replace us, or to start over from scratch with everything, but for all the human souls, it's the end.
Maybe the sole survivor of all existence is Shrimp, in the afterlife, always running from the Morning, wandering for eternity. Which i say to be silly but also that would be really sad actually. He'd be alone... he'd get hungry and there'd be no one there to feed him lounge chairs and tables and glass vases..... poor shrimp..........
I don't know if it would have been better or worse if you could just find his abandoned collar on the ground somewhere before that last lantern. Probably worse actually. Yeah no I'm glad that's not a thing. I'm sorry for saying that.
But anyway, what a damn good game. I'm sad it didn't get more attention when it came out, it feels like such a passion project. I feel bad for only finding out it exists recently. I'll try my best with telling all my friends to play it too though. Cause like oh man. Good god. It made me laugh, it made me scared, and now it's made me cry, drawing and typing this post. It's a thinker. I love existential wonder in media, but this one is more like, existential indifference or something. but it doesn't feel cynical at all, i don't know. I like it a lot. Putting it right up there with my favorites.
also actually nevermind fuck all that noise good ending where the morning never comes and they just wander the woods forever together yippee wahoo!! who needs themes and messages and meanings !!!! when The Characters could be happy !!!!!!!
jtjfjfjdhdjskfskdkdsfdhdhsfjcjdhfhshsfhd everything is fine i am Fine definitely not Crying More why would you think that
#my artwork#my art#digital art#doodles#the upturned shrimp#the upturned ik#ikabod kee#the upturned spoilers#the upturned#yeah man#tw death
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Okay so I just wanna gush a bit here.
I think the only problem I had with Veilguard was that I couldn't get enough of it. Like I would love to see more, more missions, more story. I would have loved to see various things that were either hinted at or just straight up not even addressed. (Mind you I've only played the games and listened to Vows and Vengeance on Spotify, so maybe it's mentioned in some other media that I haven't gotten to yet.)
Something I would love to have seen was the companions side of things after Tearstone Island, like how did all your companions react to the events that took place there? How did they make a perfect replica of Solas' dagger? Where did they go to pull Rook out? What kind of inner turmoil was each of them dealing with in Rook's absence? Especially for whoever you romanced leading up to that point if they're still there and not dead or MIA. For example: Emmrich, before Tearstone Island you have that argument with him that ends with both sides angry. And when he tries to approach Rook to apologize Rook responds with "we'll talk about it when we get home, I promise." A promise that is almost immediately broken once Rook gets trapped in the Fade. How does Emmrich react to that and the events leading up yo yhat I wonder? Gah! Just so many questions just for that scenario alone.
One of the many things I absolutely loved was the option to make your character transgender. I thought it was absolutely wonderful, I felt like I was finally able to see myself represented in a game without having to make up my own head cannon about my gender identity. It was so validating to me. I loved Krem in DAI because his story is similar to my own irl. So when Bioware made that an option I had to pause for a bit because I was crying so much from sheer joy and happiness. And then I cried all over again during a lot of the special dialog options if you made your character trans/nonbinary. Especially when I was romancing Emmrich. When he said "I believe there's nothing so attractive as someone who's found himself" I not only fell more in love with this character but I was both happy and sad about it. Happy that there was such a beautifully written line of dialog for it, but also sad that I fear that I don't think I'll ever be able to find someone who would be willing to love me for who I am now that I've become a man. We live in a world these days where folks are so hung up on what's in your pants than what's in your heart. And I felt that with not just Emmrich, but a lot of the characters in this game.
These are just a few of the things that make me keep playing this game over and over (at the time of writing this I'm on playthrough number 7 because I have no life lol). It's even motivated me to create. I've made some little magnets of the different faction logos, but I've also been writing my first fanfic! It's about my EmmRook pairing and some of the silliness that I loved about romancing him. If you ever get around to reading it it's called The Reunion. I'm still in the process of writing more chapters but there's 4 up already.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/61358677/chapters/156834322
Anyway thanks for letting me ramble on and gush for a bit. 🥰💚
Oooo, thank you for sharing so much of your joy!!!
Something I would love to have seen was the companions side of things after Tearstone Island, like how did all your companions react to the events that took place there? How did they make a perfect replica of Solas' dagger? Where did they go to pull Rook out? What kind of inner turmoil was each of them dealing with in Rook's absence?
I'm working on it. :) The problem with writing codices is you've got to write so MANY, to account for all the differences between choices Rook could've made! But I am working on bringing that moment to life in codices. One day.
For now... that's the beauty of fanfiction, to me!
One of the many things I absolutely loved was the option to make your character transgender.
SAAAAAAME. Even though I did not make a trans Rook (I write nonbinary protagonists in my original fiction, and frankly I am exhausted with the singular 'they' in the English language—I love that it exists, but I am TIRED of writing around it so that it's not confused with plural they/them!), I appreciate IMMENSELY that trans and nonbinary identities are a big part of the world of Thedas now, and in terminology that does not let bigots diminish/dismiss their usage.
I am so, so happy that you, me, and many others now feel so seen in the world of Thedas. <3 A tremendous thank-you to everyone at BioWare responsible for seeing that development through.
It's even motivated me to create. I've made some little magnets of the different faction logos, but I've also been writing my first fanfic!
Between my DMs and asks, you are the fifth person to say this to just me today, and that is AMAZING!!! I am so, so happy that Dragon Age, and specifically Veilguard, is reigniting the spark in so many creative hearts. Truly, that brings me so much more joy than I expected even when I invited you guys to send me asks in the first place. <3
And I've taken a peek at your fanfic and left kudos! I don't have time to read tonight, but have bookmarked for later. <3
#answers#i love these#they keep making me so happy#keep em going people!!! if you want to say hi#please please please do so!!
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To my fellow adult directioners, how are you?
I've been trying to really think and put into words what I want to say. I don't even know if there are words to describe what I feel at the moment. I feel sad, depressed, and just a deep ache. I feel like a part of my childhood has crumbled inside.
I became a One Direction fan when I was about 9 years old. I was going through a really rough time and was dealing with separation anxiety. I was on youtube one night and came across the What Makes You Beautiful music video. I instantly fell in love. I was hooked and I couldn't get enough.
4th and 5th grade were an extremely hard time for me and yet I got through it. Not only because of my family, but mainly because of One Direction. They made me laugh and their music made me feel better. Their posts and the videos of them, their performances brought me so much comfort. They could make me smile unlike anything before. They were what introduced me to fandoms.
I had never felt like I belonged anywhere until I became a Directioner. They introduced me to 5SOS and Little Mix, they showed me how special being in a fandom was. They shed so much light and happiness to my life when I felt like I was drowning. I wouldn't have made it if it weren't for them. Their influence they had also introduced me to Dan and Phil through the joy of youtube. One Direction was just the beginning for me.
When Zayn left, I was devastated. I remember being in middle school, probably around the 6-7 grade. I was at home when the news broke and I remember calling my friends at the time and just crying. Then when the band broke up, I was, like so many, so hopeful for a reunion. I won't lie, I didn't branch out much to their solo music. I listened some but nothing like I thought. However, I still kept going back to the same old One Direction, even all these years later.
Liam Payne was a comfort to a lot of people and I feel the music industry destroyed him. He had so much pressure put on him at a young age and it just poisoned him. He fell into a lot of hardship towards the end of the band and afterwards. This isn't to minimize anything he's done, I just want to make a point that the Liam I'm grieving is the one I grew up with from 2012-2016. The Liam that has come to light isn't how so many of us remember him. We remember Liam as someone who acted silly with Louis on stage and liked to annoy the boys during interviews. We remember him as someone who hated spoons and had incredible vocals. We remember him as someone who was given a second chance and did something incredible with it. He changed so many lives during his time in One Direction, and that's how we remember him.
This isn't Maya Henry's fault or anyone elses. Liam was sick and just couldn't get the help he needed to turn his life around. Addiction kills. What he did to Maya Henry and others is inexcusable and horrible, and this isn't their fault. They did not cause any of what happened. They are still victims and their experiences are still valid. You can grieve someone and still condemn their actions. He engaged in behavior that is unacceptable and for a lack of a better word, abusive. Even if he didn't do these acts while under the influence, he was still battling with sobriety, and that's not easy, and that's still not an excuse. He still did what he did and now he'll never be able to fix it. We will still remember how we idolized him and how much joy he brought us, but we will also never forget the victim's stories. Their experiences and feelings with him are just as valid and important.
Like Niall, Harry, Zayn, and Louis have all said, Liam brought so much joy. He brought thousands and thousands of people hope and happiness. He was a light in dark times for many and until he passed, he still brought people joy. There are many videos from the days leading up that show him talking about the boys and supporting them, and hugging fans and interacting with them.
Please keep in mind that Liam is a son, brother, friend, and most importantly, a father. His family is grieving and his 7 year old son has just recently lost his father. Remember that Zayn, Louis, Harry, and Niall owe us nothing. Liam was still a human being.
Thank you Liam for giving us an unforgettable childhood and unforgettable memories. Thank you for introducing me, and others, to the joys of fandoms and music. You brought so many of us so much happiness and were a glimmer of hope when we couldn't find it.
"Goodbyes are bittersweet but it's not the end. I'll see your face again." - Rest easy, Liam. 🤍
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So uh... Lesson 18 huh??
I'd just like to say that the juxtaposition of Lesson 18 being all sad and serious with the new event being all ridiculous was both weird and kinda nice? Like I needed that event to cheer me up after Lesson 18 almost made me cry.
Anyway, let's talk about it! Lesson 18 spoilers below!
Okay. I've seen some speculation that perhaps Lesson 20 won't be the end of season one. However, I don't think that's going to happen.
I think they're gonna pull some time travel shenanigans on us again. Or Nightbringer is gonna show up and deus ex machina this mess. Or the solution to everything is for MC to just make a pact with all seven brothers at the same time. Solomon did say that he thought they could do that in a past lesson. And if they do it all at once, it wouldn't take that long? Hmmm.
Anyway, I could speculate all day, but there were some really interesting things that happened in this lesson that I'd rather talk about.
First of all, Diavolo pulling out the Prince Voice on Raphael had me going OHHHHH lol.
I honestly love Diavolo's different sides. It makes him feel so real, you know?
SPOILERS FOR HARD LESSON 18 (just skip this paragraph in case you haven't gotten to it yet!)
And I feel like that really is even more evident in the hard lesson where he talks to Barbatos about the difference between his head and his heart. And how all he really wants is for the brothers to be happy. Which was so dang sweet. And Barbatos just gives him that whole speech about what a great king he's gonna be. I was like I can't with these two.
HARD LESSON SPOILERS OVER
Anyway, the fact that Diavolo can just step into this Prince persona and be a leader when he needs to, but then he's just a silly guy when he's not needing to do that is very realistic to me. A lot of people have different versions of themselves that they only show at certain times or to certain people. Gives his character a lot of dimension, in my opinion!
And oh... can we talk about Mammon?
My precious baby. I wanted to hug him so bad. I wanted him to continue to chew out Raphael. I mean, I know Raph is kinda just the messenger here, but I felt like Mammon was actually saying what everyone was feeling, but was too restrained to say. For some reason, everyone was just kind of letting Diavolo take the lead (and I guess that makes sense, he is the Prince after all and Raphael is basically saying they'll go to war over this). But Mammon was like oh hell no.
I agreed with him entirely. The Celestial Realm can go fuck off. I was NOT expecting this to be about the fact that the brothers have power in the Devildom now. Like are you kidding me? THAT is your big concern? Should've thought about that before you threw them out, GOD.
And when Raphael was like are you questioning Father's word to Lucifer and Luci just kinda got sad looking, I was like YES QUESTION HIM because Lucifer and his brothers deserve better than this bullshit.
It really feels like the Celestial Realm booted them out because the bros did something they didn't like, but now they've realized they made a mistake. So to get them back, they're gonna go down to the Devildom and threaten them.
Are they trying to get us to hate the Celestial Realm? Is that the goal here? I don't, obviously, but I think this was a pretty shitty move considering all that these guys have been through.
BUT THEN THE BROTHERS COMIN THROUGH WITH THE WE WON'T LEAVE SATAN
when I tell you I was crying... it was Belphie's fault.
Pretty sure this was the line that made me tear up, but then we get the same sentiment from Beel and Asmo about not leaving Satan behind and I was just like that was MY HEART you guys just shattered.
Now let's talk about Solomon and Barbatos in 18-A, shall we?
Please refer to this collection of screenshots featuring my true love dishing out some real insults.
WOW. Let him have it, Barb.
I don't know what Solomon did, but I do find this exchange incredibly interesting. Note that Solomon is wearing his human world outfit here. I kind of think human-world-outfit-wearing-Solomon is the imposter. He's the one who talked about the pact with Asmo first, where it didn't fit with his later version of the story. He was also the one who pushed all the brothers into Asmo's tub and therefore also the one who then made a pact with Asmo. He was also the one who commanded Barb to make a portal when he didn't want to and who had the discussion with Nightbringer.
I'm just sayin... maybe he doesn't know why Barb is mad at him 'cause we got more than one Solomon running around...
Buuut I could be completely off base here. We'll see, I guess!
This could all be resolved by the end of Lesson 20, you never know with this game lol.
#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me nightbringer#obey me nightbringer lesson 18#obey me nightbringer spoilers#obey me nightbringer lesson 18 spoilers#obey me diavolo#obey me solomon#obey me belphegor#obey me barbatos#obey me mammon#obey me raphael#misc talks about characters#misc rambles
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MARTIWIKIWI'S MACRO POST OF HER QUEER COMICS
I've been wanting to do this for a long time so not even sorry.
[2024] DEMON HUNTER HAGAN
Dark fantasy. Hagan knows the Church of Twilight has never been a safe space for him but after so many years serving faithfully the church, how is he supposed to escape from his past and start anew? All he knows is killing demons. Queer stuff: Hagan is sex-repulsed biromantic asexual and will talk about asexuality now and then. Chorus is his aromantic hetero bestie and there are two more queer characters to join the party yet. Free on Comicfury. On hiatus until 12th June.
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[2023] QUEER DETECTIVES
Comedy. Short comic about a group of queer friends trying to solve the mystery of the missing queer books in the public library. Queer stuff: Selwyn is your monster fucker bisexual. Moon, also bi, asked him out like 5 times and got rejected every time. They are now besties. Beltane is super gay for Moon. Available on my Ko-fi in digital.
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[2022] FOUND FAMILY
Fantasy slice of life. A compilation of four short comics about prince Fireopal and their queer family. Queer stuff: Everything. Look at them. Their mere existence is a threat to the system. Available on my Ko-fi in digital and printed.
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[2021] ELLIS
Urban fantasy. A queerplatonic romance between a demisexual non-binary werewolf and a bisexual human who find themselves in an awkward situation when they both have a crush on the same unknown student. Queer stuff: Demi enby will think very hard of how is the romance they want only to conclude amatonormativity sucks so they'll make their own rules. In the meanwhile, bi boy will cry and paint a horrible oil painting of some flowers before becoming the best friend ever. Currently saving money for printing. You can read it for free on Comicfury.
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Older stuff under the cut!
[2020] SLOW TENDER SAMHAIN STORY
Fantasy. A boy's love story of three lonely souls looking for a family. Queer stuff: One prince gay, his lil bi bro and his future bi husband. Available on my Ko-fi in digital and printed.
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[2019] FIGHTING NIGHTMARES AND FEARS
Dark fantasy. A young cleric is devoted to fighting the system of a world ruled by violence and fear. There will be a lot of menstrual blood. Queer stuff: This is the most aromantic stuff you'll ever read because the main character couldn't care less about that shit. Also, both other characters are bisexual af. Free on Comicfury.
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[2019] GREY SAMHAIN LOVE STORY
Fantasy. A story of a silly sorcerer and a sad cleric made during a certain drawing challenge that took place in October 2019. Queer stuff: The silly sorcerer is very bisexual and the sad cleric super gay. They'll go friends to enemies to lovers. Available on my Ko-fi in digital.
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[2018] WINTER NIGHT
Dark fantasy. A story of a very unlucky child who tries his best to repair his own mistakes, but it means he will have to break the promise he made to his best friend. Queer stuff: This child is so trans they even transform into a werewolf. 70 pages free on Tumblr. Full comic on Ko-fi.
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NOT ENOUGH? Well, here you have an archive with all the short comics I've been posting on Tumblr since 2015. You'll find from watercolour and ink tests to ideas I have for longer projects and short queer comics I made for pleasure but also rejected scripts from anthologies. Also fan comics and comics that did make it to anthologies.
Finally, all my comic work together in a post. Happy Pride!
#Marta Selusi#my art#oc#artists on tumblr#original comic#queer comics#comic archive#happy pride month
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OKAY
I think it says a lot about my job that I was able to concentrate on it today and completely forget we GOT TRAILER
It was a mistake to check tumblr first thing in the morning, before I even got out of bed, but in my defense, I didn't expect it would drop at such a day and time! But anyway I did jump off of bed, turned on my laptop and recorded my face as I watched it. I needed to have that memorized XD
So, spoilers about the trailer below, and my own predictions about what each scene could be for! Reminder that I'm anime only, but have read the chapter that the first episode (probably) is based on, so for the most part I know what's going on, but for the rest I'm very much NOT aware :D Don't spoil me please :D
FAKE FAMBLY IS BACK
Manipulative Anya at her best! We love our gremlin!
Oh he's looking good :D
I fucking love this image. Look at Twilight pouting in the background. He doesn't understand why a child finds news boring.
WE GOT BLOOD WE GOT THORN PRINCESS IN ACTION LET'S GOOOOO
your honour I love him. Why does he look like he's ready to cry!
Ok from a first hearing the OP song sounds super cool. I feel like it's got "Mixed Nuts" vibes and I love it! I gotta look it up later!
Jeez Loid. Woman just woke up. Is that how he honeypoted all of his other missions?
Yor having a meltdown in the foreground and Anya being cute waking up in the background <3 I love my fake fambly <3
... okay. That's how his honeypots worked.
Yellow roses, if I'm correct, symbolize friendship. Interesting.
This is going to be a disaster and I cannot wait. Also I'm spotting Anya and Franky doing a horrible job at hiding in the left pic XD
My heart skipped a beat when I heard Anya's voice say "Moja-Moja" :')
Very sneaky. Much hiding. Wow. There's no way Franky thought this was working XD
The way all of this could have been solved with a "I tripped down the stairs and fell on my butt and now it hurts to sit" but hey we're getting a funny date how can I ask for more
Also the way Yor says that line my god
I am so ready for more Yor you have no idea
I gotta say, showing this moment is perfect for anime-onlies who haven't actually read this specific chapter. Loid just looks worried and Yor looks enraged. So many feelings for this episode XD
Are those macarons? What were the fucking chances that yesterday I went like "Next morning I'm gonna pass by that bakery that makes macarons". I haven't had macarons in years, yet I see one (1) advertisement about that bakery and its macarons and I go like yeah why not. Macarons. And now this. The fuck.
GREMLIN ANYA IS BACK
Honestly, her face in official merch is always a :D face with an almost unnaturally big smile all the time that I've missed her silly little face.
AH I WAS SENT THAT AS A MANGA SCREENSHOT!
Are those playing cards she's throwing? And is she reading someone's mind? I don't even care if she's cheating, good for you girl
Yeah, buddy, welcome to the real world.
I remember that line from the end of the bullet-in-butt date chapter, and I gotta admit I don't really like it... but the way Eguchi delivers it makes me think he's not like "Women amirite" but more like "All my years of training did not prepare me for how people are like in their day to day lives because spy training has skewed my perception of day to day 'normal'" and that's perfectly valid.
But also what the fuck is happening here. What is that cat. Why is Yor about to Thorn-Princess it. What.
So Anya goes on a studying rampage, fails, and ends up crying on her penguin?
This only made me sad, what the fuck. It looks like Loid and Yor are looking at her failing grades, and Anya is disappointed in herself. I will don my clown wig again and say "If Loid doesn't go and reassure her so help me GOD"
I... don't like the ending theme song. But that's mostly a matter of taste, I guess.
Aw.
They dare throw this to anime onlies when they know we won't get romantic canon twiyor content until three to five business years from now at least
The assassin group... I'm supposing he means the one Yor works for? How long does "for a while now" mean? Wasn't Yor working for them since she was a teenager caring for Yuri?
In any case, wow that's a very intense visual.
omg omg omg
from the colour and the angle this looks like a vision Bond has. Loid and Yor are smiling and blushing but why does it make me feel sad!!
I don't know if it's because of what is said in that moment (they look like unrelated scenes since the line is being said by a woman who I'm guessing is a fellow assassin working with Yor or something) but then there's this
And we just don't see Yor like that often, if at all in the anime so far.
What is Franky wearing? It looks like a military jacket or something. I wonder if that's just stylistic choice or it's something more important.
*snorts laugh*
Gotta admit, from a few tidbits here and there it looks like Twilight is finally gaining some more understanding of himself and his situation... but the way he says that just makes me think that realization makes him more concerned than anything else.
So I can say with conviction this did fix something in me. Though I guess the first episode will be the bullet-in-butt date, so it will take me another week to go into new territory. But! Bullet-in-butt date in 12 days! And new cool stuff to look for later on! I'm so happy!
(Again, I don't want spoilers for any of these. Just let me have my fun speculating :D)
screenshots taken from the unofficially subtitled trailer here!
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⏳- Good Future with Darkrai perhaps?
//i love you so much for sending this ask. thank you. i love you for this./p /silly
Good Future: eventually, it'll be told. thank you.
[tws: on second thought, none, really. just sad child] [otherwise this one is just TOOTH ROTTING hurt/comfort fluff]
"I just... I just want you to be honest with me. Okay? I know it's been a lot for you. But... I'm here for you, Hari. I can tell you're struggling," Darkrai murmured, hands folded.
Hari worried a pebble between his hands, throwing it off into the bushes somewhere in the garden.
He opened his mouth to speak- to say, 'it's nothing to worry about,' 'you think too much,' maybe to even brush it off with a joke- but..
Hari paused.
Darkrai stopped with him.
Hari swallowed hard. Why was he getting choked up? He wasn't obliged to say anything.
But he wanted to. Some part of him, somewhere, really wanted to tell Darkrai what he's been through. Why was it so hard? Why were his eyes stinging? What was wrong with him?
Darkrai took a breath in. "Hari... are you okay? Is there anything I can do? Please, son..."
Hari slunk to a nearby bench. Darkrai followed, his face turning into worry.
"I apologize," She started, "I didn't mean to-"
"You obviously have recognized something's wrong, is that it?"
Darkrai stopped. He nodded.
"I just..." Hari looked down. "Darkrai, I don't understand why you care. It's been plaguing me. Why do you even bother with me?"
She frowned. "Hari, I think you're a wonderful person. You're pleasant to be around, you're kind to me and others, but there's also a lot to you that I've yet to learn, and I couldn't be happier for every bit of it."
Hari took a shaky breath. "You're saying... I make you happy?"
"And that's only the start."
"..."
"Hari?"
Darkrai watched as Hari shook. She slid off the bench, knelt down, and- and Hari was crying. Silently, and subtly, but crying. ...He hadn't seen him do that. And by the looks of it, not many have seen him do that. To open up and show emotion like that.
"Hari," Darkrai murmured, kneeling beside the boy on the bench.
Hari looked up slighty, unable to meet his friend's eyes, but still looked at her hand.
Darkrai had his hand next to Hari's- it was no longer resting on the bench but instead hovering above the seating, hesitantly reaching for Hari's.
He was asking. It was a silent question.
Hari nodded. Darkrai sat back up, and placed his hand on top of Hari's shaking, pale, frostbitten ones.
She didn't flinch at how cold Hari was. He didn't reel his hand back, even though Darkrai himself was adverse to touch, moreso than Hari was.
He didn't let go.
No matter how many reasons Darkrai didn't have to be holding Hari's hand at that moment, he still felt the other's thumb rubbing over the back of his palm.
She heard a sob. He heard a few. She watched as Hari threw his open head in his hands, and gripped Darkrai's own hand- gently, shakily and unsure, but firmly.
She didn't falter- not for a moment. He didn't reconsider, and he didn't begin to feel uncomfortable at the contact. He watched as Hari struggled to cover his face- something familiar, she thought, as she also knew the hated feeling of vulnerability- but he waited. He let Hari sit for as long as he needed.
After a moment, he collected his breath.
"S..Sorry- That was.. Unexpected. I just.. I didn't think... I... You..." He trailed off.
It was difficult for Hari. Darkrai gave him a list as to why he enjoyed being around him. Gave him reason. Told him that she saw something in him.
"No one else... has..... done that," He said, "No one with.. A human body has... No one......." He got choked up once more-
"No one's loved me. No one's loved me like that, Darkrai."
She rubbed the back of his palm again, rhythmically.
"I.. I just don't know what to say. I'm- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I- Shit..-"
He let out another shaky breath. Darkrai looked at him again.
"I can't see a reason as to why you should be sorry, Hari."
"But why? I've never made anyone happy. I know I'll never be perfect, it will never happen- why do you still..?"
"Hari, do you even know anyone else who is?"
"..."
"Why do you hold yourself to those standards."
"...I've always had to. It's how it's always been."
Darkrai sighed. It's been going on for this long? And still, he carries on? And still, this boy stands?
"You're very strong, Hari," She says despite herself.
"..You think so?"
"Sixteen years of holding yourself to things no one has achieved? Sixteen years of thinking that... Oh, Hari..."
Hari laughed, tears welling up in his eyes again. "Almost seventeen, actually."
Darkrai huffed a smile.
"Would you be okay if I stayed for the next years you're gonna go through?" She asked.
Hari looked at him- properly in his eyes, this time. Darkrai could see his greyed pupils, still harboring hints of its old, forgotten crystal blue. He could see his pale face, adorned with the redness of tears. And he saw his mouth quirking into a smile.
"Yeah."
"..."
"Yeah. I'd love that, dad."
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Chapter 9 - Protecting You
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"I thought Princess Katrina was beautiful, but Princess Mochi is by far the most beautiful woman out there!" one of the servants gossiped, completely unaware that the red head was just a few meters away.
"Right? And she's totally the kindest soul out there! Just yesterday, I saw her giving away a pouch filled with golden coins to some begging kid on the street!" another one giggled, praising the new Princess.
"Yes, that's right! And last week, she was walking with Lord Nobunaga, attached to his arm, and they were smiling! I've never seen The Lord so happy and content!" the comments were shattering Katrina's heart. Mochi was capable of thawing the frozen heart of the heartless demon... Something Katrina was unable to do.
"I'm so glad that we will have such a benevolent and gentle woman as our Lord's wife. Surely, he'll mellow and will be much nicer to us too. I thought Princess Katrina would be a good influence on him, but she did nothing compared to Princess Mochi." she heard the first voice speaking again.
"Princess Katrina is an excellent medic, but that's about it. She will never be a good wife. She always has that hard, stoic look on her face, it's always making me afraid to go to her room and bring her tea." was she really that intimidating...? Sure, she's heard that before from people in her times, but to think that even those from an era of war... It was disheartening. "Women like her will never have suitors... After all, who would want a harpy wife to take care of their children?"
"Yes, yes - Princess Mochi always looks so soft and loving and warm... And whenever she sees someone sad, she goes to hug them and reassures them. She's a Saint!" but she loves hugs too...
"Oh yes, she definitely is a Saint... I want a hug from Princess Mochi too. Even Lord Nobunaga loves them! I heard he now often goes out of his room in the evening to watch the setting Sun leaning on the maple tree with her, and he stays like a kitten in her embrace." alright, that was as far as she could hear for the day.
Those gossips were getting out of hand with each day, and she couldn't handle hearing them anymore. With her hand clutching at her chest, Katrina left and went outside, desperately needing a breath of fresh air, the same as a drowning man needed oxygen to survive - However, as soon as she went outside, she saw the picture-perfect couple cuddled by the tree, just as everyone described. It was a stab to the heart, and she didn't even realise how dejected she looked, until she turned around and bumped into the silver fox, Mitsuhide himself. He was wearing his usual, casual clothes, yet his hands were hidden inside the opposite sleeve.
"My, my, what do we have here, a little fox. And what do we have there... Ah, yes, I see. What a shame." he hummed, and as he looked down at her, upon gazing on the forming little crystals, he raised his hand and softly wiped a tear that was threatening to escape. "I always thought that women were too pretty to cry... Though, I suppose I can see why your heart would be ailing you so." with his palm resting on her cheek, he could easily see how she was trying so hard to toughen up and reject any ounce of weakness.
"There is no place for silly emotions on the battlefield. If they are happy, then they have my blessings. There are far more important things out there. I don't have the time to listen to the petty gossips of the servants. If they think Mochi is going to be a great Queen for the unified Japan, then I will be supporting her. I have a lot of work in the medical office, so if you would please excuse me, I must go back to my work." she explained, ready to turn back and leave, but the man wouldn't allow her - His hand was placed on her shoulder, stopping her.
"You've been cooped in that office for weeks. Surely, you must know it does you no good. A festival has already started close by, why don't you go have some fun?" he asked, noticing something falling on the ground from one of her sleeves.
"I don't have who to go with. It's fine, there will be other festivals in the future too, I won't be missing out on much." she shrugged, completely unemotional.
"Nobunaga is free. Why don't you ask him?" he suggested, but it simply made her more restless.
"First of all, he is a taken man, soon to be married in less than two weeks. Second of all, it is a man's duty to ask a woman out, not the other way around. I will not be belittling myself by seeking out affection from married men. I'm above that. I know my worth. If people like me, then they like me - Likewise, if they don't, they don't. It's already clear that the servants don't like me - So what? I don't need their approval either. Let them all hate me for all I care. All that ever mattered to me was my medical career, and nothing changed since I was a child." she scoffed, her chin up, a proud expression on her face - So proud, in fact, that it was crumbling down with each sneaky glance towards the two lovebirds enjoying each other's presence.
"Katrina... Did you know that I have a little proficiency in Latin languages? Though I cannot speak it, I can understand a few words, and I am familiar with the alphabet." his words seemed enigmatic and confusing to her, until she turned around and saw him caressing the black handkerchief with his thumb.
"It was supposed to be a birthday present... But I forgot to gift it, and it remained unsent ever since. I guess it's useless now." though her first instinct was to reach out and snatch it back, her hand was paralysed in mid-air, her slender fingers trembling.
"It is very beautiful and neat embroidery. I should have expected you would be good with any kind of needle... If you say it's useless though, that means you don't need it anymore, do you? Can I keep it?" he asked, making the girl look up at him with alarm, blinking from bewilderment. She didn't want to part with it - Truly, she didn't - It felt to her that giving away that gift meant giving up Nobunaga and admitting he will forever be out of her reach... Her safe solace no longer existed... And so her reason for existing in this universe disappeared also.
"I... Can't understand why you would want a handkerchief that not only does not match your aesthetic, but also has another man's name on it... But do whatever you want with it. Keep it, burn it, use it to wipe the dust... I don't care, do what you want." despite saying that, her hand now felt empty without the soft material of the silk to be clutching on. "It lost its purpose... So... It's useless to me."
"Very well, thank you for this unexpected gift, Lady Kat." he hummed enigmatically. "Before you go, I wanted to ask you something." despite the to and fro from earlier, he seemed now to be much more sober. "Have you seen anything suspicious around the place lately?"
"I met up with Shingen the night before Mochi arrived, but I wouldn't call that 'lately'." she spoke so nonchalantly, that Mitsuhide, although very much aware of the meeting, seemed almost surprised by how genuine she was in admitting she met up with the enemy. But for someone like her, perhaps there was no enemy or ally, just a bunch of random strangers that are killing each other.
"Since then, was there anything else?" this question made the girl turn around completely, looking up at him with sharp, interrogating eyes.
"You know something already, don't you? Are you trying to test me? Have you started mistrusting me too, just like Hideyoshi, now that I outright said I'm meeting with Shingen?" though harsh, Mitsuhide wasn't upset by her slight aggressiveness. She had every right to suspect her truthfulness would incite mistrust.
"Not at all. It takes a fox to know another, but you've proven already you are no traitor. I simply find that you are very observant, and as someone who's not involved directly in the war and political affairs, I thought you might have seen something out of the ordinary." her eyes softened, and she looked down for a few seconds. She knew something, that much was evident, but she was holding back for whatever reason.
"I was wondering... Is the story with Hanzo Hattori being Ieyasu's loyal ninja true?" she muttered, shifting on her feet.
"Huh, would you look at that, the little fox knows more than we thought." he chuckled lightly; How fascinating this little one was - How she knew so many things was beyond him.
"Then... That must mean Shingen has a whole village of kunoichi too. Possibly." the girl mumbled softly. "I saw things... But I'm not certain. Maybe I'm imagining things. Maybe I'm just too tired. What do I know? I won't accuse anyone of anything unless I'm sure." she continued, stammering over her words; She was conflicted between telling the truth, and possibly wrongfully accusing an innocent person. "Still... If I were you, I wouldn't leave him alone for too long. Just as a precaution." and with that, she hurried out of the place, locking herself into the medical office. She didn't want to meet a single other soul - Hell, she was happy Ieyasu didn't speak much, because she wasn't sure she could hold a proper conversation.
Just a few days prior, her and Ieyasu came up with a new poison that held no smell of its own, nor did it alter the colour of whatever you would pour it over. Though a pretty sneaky tactic, nothing mattered in war, and should they wanted to attempt an assassination, or coat their weapons in it, it would work miracles. Now that the poison was perfected, however, they needed to create the antidote for it, hence why, she was working day and night to get it right.
By the time she'd return to her room, if, at all, she would see the shine of the moon reflecting on the long, ebony hair of a maiden sneaking away into the woods... But surely, she must be seeing things, right? The same as when she woke up all of a sudden, in the middle of the night, with Mochi next to her, though her excuse was that she put a blanket over her and brought her some tea and snacks for when she'd wake up. Katrina was the 'victim' of Mochi's kindness on numerous occasions, and though she found them rather coincidental, there wasn't much she could say about it. Princess Mochi was the blessing of Azuchi - Anything straying away from that notion was unacceptable.
Many times, she was confused by Mochi's attempt at being friendly, clinging onto her arm and being so sweet, complimenting her looks and her 'rebellious' personality, as she'd call it. Calling Katrina a 'Deviant' for doing whatever she wanted, for being allowed to speak her mind so freely, to travel and do any kind of activity she wanted... Despite Kat herself reassuring her that nobody would be saying anything if she were to be acting on impulse and do what she wanted, she got flustered and denied all that, saying it wasn't something a princess should be doing... Said in such a way that it would ultimately serve as a sweet insult thrown her way - She truly loved doing that, rub it in her face that she replaced her and she is not needed anymore... Nor wanted... She said Nobunaga wanted a silent beauty, someone that could calm him by simply gazing upon her visage, or with a simple caress of her petal-like hand.
Katrina was none of that. Or, rather said, even if she was, she was much more than that. She didn't want to be known as the kind girl... And only that. Her kindness could just as easily be seen by how hard she works to save people. She has always been the kind girl that everyone would cling on for a bit of healing, but when she needed some kindness returned, no one was there for her. Though repressed, her feelings were the same. That's how she was born. A cold face, but a warm heart... Yet people only saw the opposite.
It was fine to her. It didn't matter. If anyone wanted to understand her, they would.
The next morning though, next to her pillow, lay a small, yet beautifully embellished little chest box, and inside it, the handkerchief was neatly folded. It was Mitsuhide's way of telling her not to lose hope... How stupid he was being. Was she not clear enough - She would never break a marriage? Had he understood nothing of what she'd told her? A taken man is a taken man, and she doesn't do competition or fighting. It was either her alone, or she wasn't at all. Even so, she still put that silk back in her sleeve and clutched it whenever she felt that the whole weight of the world was on her shoulders.
Nobunaga's and Mochi's wedding was approaching quickly, and the more days passed, the weirder she found it that the princess would drag her out of the medical office to make her push her into the swing that Nobunaga himself ordered to be made, right in the Peach garden... Because she was born in Summer, and the peach fruit is ripe during her birth month. How thoughtful of him. Other times, when the Lord of Owari was too busy with work and couldn't spend the evenings cuddled with her, Mochi would take her for walks through the flower garden, telling her each of the flowers planted in her grace, and why Nobunaga had them ordered for her, and from what country. And during some late nights, the princess would burst through the tired doctor's room, showing off whatever new jewellery or kimono her future husband brought her. She never thought that she could get so bitter and pained by something as lovely as two people's happiness. Mochi was happy, so she, too, should be happy for her, and for him as well... But gosh, was it hard, watching everyone around her being happy, with her with the exception... Or, that's how she saw things, through her subjective lens. She was jealous - And she hated being jealous - It was lowly, it was beneath her to feel this way... But she had gotten to the point where she could even stand in the same room with Nobunaga. Tragic.
Even so, spending time preparing and discussing medicine with Ieyasu, fooling around with Masamune and Shogetsu, discussing politics, history and culture with Mitsuhide, learning Go from Mitsunari, and having some quality girl time with Hideyoshi's wife, Lady Nene, was something that kept her going. Nene was such a beautiful person, and Kat loved her so much, like she was her elder sister or something. Unlike the odd feeling of uncertainty and weariness she felt when around Mochi, Nene was an absolute wonder, and she always knew how to make her smile. Similarly, Ieyasu brought her over to his home where Lady Saigo, his wife, was waiting for him; Whether it was because Katrina was in a particularly miserable mood, or he'd taken pity on her, she was happy, truly happy, to see how much the quiet Ieyasu cared for his beloved, and indulged her so; Discussing medicine, politics, war affairs - But culture, poetry, literature and music... Fascinating. A love so genuine... A love that Katrina had always dreamt of... A love that has evaded her her whole life.
"What is it, Kitty-Kat? Are you upset that the man of your dreams is marrying another woman? Surely, as you said, you're far above being 'jealous', right? You've transcended beyond being a human, you don't belittle yourself by feeling possessiveness and jealousy, right~?" Drew was always there, like the little devil on her shoulder, trying to make her miserable for leaving him.
"None of that is your concern, is it?" she scoffed, ready to leave, but once again, just like Nobunaga, that stupid handkerchief slipped through her fingers like a slippery eel.
"Ah, what is this... A handkerchief? For Nobunaga, of all people? Don't tell me... You did this? For him?! Ha ha! How pitiful of you!" he started laughing mockingly at her, snatching the silk from the ground and analysing it from all angles.
"Give. It. Back. Now." like a feral cat, Katrina turned around, gritting her teeth at the man. Nobunaga's wedding was approaching, and she was now more on the edge than ever before. Less than a week away.
Drew laughed even harder, doubling over and grabbing his sides - It wasn't often when he could get a raise out of her, but when he succeeded, it was truly entertaining. "Little miss Frozen Heart is in love~! And what a pity, the one she loves, won't even waste a few minutes of his time to see her~! What a pity the one she loves is getting married in five days~!" the taunting couldn't be left unpunished, and with an impulse of anger, Katrina grabbed Drew by this clothes and slammed him to the wall, snatching away the textile.
"GO KILL YOURSELF, YOU STUPID WASTE OF SPACE! YOU KNOW SHIT ABOUT ME, SO GO TO HELL AND ROT THERE FOREVER!" she yelled at him, socking him in the face and snatching the handkerchief back; He was lucky he didn't get clawed to death, barely keeping herself from lashing out. Regaining some bits of self-control, she rushed out of there, past even Masamune, whom she didn't even notice despite bumping shoulders in the hallway.
"Hey, lass, what's the rush?" but his words were nothing but forgotten in the air.
"She's jealous, that's what's up, you ugly cyclops. Forget it. She tells me the I should kill myself, but in reality, she may just be doing that herself right now. I always told her she'll end up dying all alone, the most horrible death there is. Dreadful people like her always end up like that." Drew scoffed, stomping away, though in the opposite direction.
"...What the hell is going on?" Masamune muttered to himself, completely bewildered by the shit fest going on. Still, he continued his way towards Nobunaga's room, and taking advantage of being alone, he sat down in front of him, drinking some tea with him. A rare opportunity when Princess Mochi wasn't glued to his side like a parasite. "How long are you going to continue with this mess?" he asked, concerned about the state of the red haired girl.
"For as long as it takes to get the upper hand - Though, I suspect it won't last much longer." the brunet spoke, not casting his eyes away from the chess puzzle he created for himself. "Has Katrina said anything lately?"
"She seemed really upset when I met her just now. Why don't you have a talk with her? Tell her the truth? You said you trust her, didn't you?" the one-eyed dragon suggested, only to earn an amused huff from the other one.
"If I did, she might break her facade. She's smart, but she's genuine. She knows how to lie and lie, but when it comes to someone deceiving, just like Mitsuhide... She can't fake it - That is what I believe - Her heart is too pure - However, she can smell the deceiver. It amazed me how fast she realised I lied to her, when I took her to the hotsprings. That's why I kept her in the dark." with a confident smirk on his face Nobunaga showed his complete faith in the little red head.
"You're hurting her, are you aware of that?" Masamune asked, and watched as the Lord's smile disappeared on the spot. "For both of your sakes, I mean it when I say - Though the country is important, don't destroy someone you care about. You'll regret it. Just like Kitsuno." this reminder darkened the Lord's visage, and in a rare split second lapse of self-restraint, Nobunaga's fist met the table, making the Go pebbles fly around.
"You don't need to remind me anything, Masamune. I know very well what I'm doing. You're dismissed." without another word, Masamune exited the room of the angered Lord, yet at least he was glad he reminded him of what was important, that he may have dismissed without realising. Nobunaga flipped the Go table in anger and went on the balcony to cool his head. The last thing he wanted was to win the battle, but lose the war - He couldn't alienate Katrina like that, yet he's done so without even realising. He thought she was stronger than that, though he greatly underestimated the tenderness of her own heart, and the resilience of his designated enemy. There was no crack in that makeshift facade... He knew, Lord only knows, he knew he needed to end this Smoke and Mirrors game... But he couldn't. Not without compromising months-worth of hard work and scheming.
Three more days until the wedding, and Nobunaga summoned Katrina to his room. She felt awkward as she sipped on the tea, sitting in front of the Lord, a single working desk separating them. Neither of them said anything, until the whole pot was finished, and even then, there was nothing but radio silence. Usually, she would say something - Even if it was completely random, or regarding her medical work... Or a cute dog she was. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
"Is there something you want to tell me, Katrina?" he fixed her with those piercing amber eyes.
"No." her reply was simple, but at the same time, it was curt and cold, and it impaled the Lord's heart. Was Masamune right? In his attempt of getting information from his enemy, did he push the woman that cherished him off a cliff? Did he let go of the rope, during their tug of war game?
"Are you sure?" he tried again, but not even a vocal answer this time, merely a nod of her head. "I'm getting married in three days."
"In my time, we offer the wishes and congratulations on the day of the wedding... Although, I suppose, it's fine either way." she was acting so shallow and unbothered, that it didn't resembled the fiery vixen from before. She was acting with him now, the same as she did with Drew, when they first go here. This was despicable. He was nothing like that failure of a man. "Congratulations on your wedding, Nobunaga. I wish you and Princess Mochi a fortunate life together, filled with nothing but luck, love, happiness and... Whatever other things people in your time wish newly-wed couples." she shifted her empty, cold gaze into his own eyes; For once, he was the one with emotions pooling in his soul, and she was - At least, not as visibly. "Was that what you wanted to hear? My blessings?" she asked, her hands in her sleeves, clutching onto the handkerchief hard enough, making sure it doesn't fall by mistake again.
"Are you happy for us?" he asked, but the look on her face seemed disgusted by the question.
"If you and Mochi find happiness from one another, then yes, I, too, am happy or you." what a fake answer. He couldn't take it. He was going crazy. This wasn't what he wanted - None of this - None at all.
"Would you like to be in her place?" this pushing only made the red head angry. He was trying to get a raise out of her again, and she wasn't in the mood for that kind of foolishness. He was failing miserably, over and over again.
"It it not my place to say anything of the sort, nor can I imagine myself in her place, next to a soon-to-be married man that's already promised to. You would do well stopping this pointless interrogation. If Mochi were to hear you, she might misunderstand and you will break her heart. She's very eager to get married to you. In fact, she often tells me how she's fallen for you. If you've taken a woman from her home, don't disappoint her too." she scolded him with the same poisonous freezing harshness of hers. She was putting distance between them with a dignified and graceful politeness. He hated that. And he hated that subtle jab of a knife twisted right in his heart.
"Fine. Hide behind that wall you've put up. If you want to be curt, then be curt." he scoffed, pissed at the way she's become. "Tell me, Katrina. Do you know why my greatest ambition is to unify Japan and make it mine?" the Lord got up and stepped in front of a large mapped globe.
"You want to make the country a better place, and achieve peace for the people?" she guessed, not moving from her spot.
"Exactly. I knew you'd get it. Mochi didn't. She's too short-sighted and slow of mind." though his voice seemed to be bitter and upset, the woman scolded him.
"Don't you dare speak ill of your future wife. What kind of respect do you want your people to have for someone who belittles his wife in front of others?" she really was amusing. Foolishly strong and defensive of the woman stealing everything for her. Never once had he seen such peculiar behaviour. She was as unpredictable as always, his little fire fox.
"The missionaries from Portugal told me that they see Japan as a small, worthless island. No more than a curiosity. I'll unify this country, abolish the rigid class system and restrictive laws, set the people free. Everyone will be their own master. It will be up to the people to think for themselves and obtain what they desire. When that happens, this small island will flourish." he explained his ambitions very beautifully.
"And once you've obtained peace? What then? Japan has known nothing but wars for the past century. People have war in their blood. How will you keep them away from a civil war, or simple rebelling?" she asked, and the man nodded - She was asking the right questions. His smart, clever girl.
"I will make fighting inefficient. I will show them that the only way to survive in my country is to be productive, not start pointless wars. I expect Japan to grow rapidly as a country, becoming strong - Becoming strong and powerful enough to stand up against all others. When it has, I will leave this island and experience what the rest of the world has to offer first hand." what? He's intending to go... Travel? Just like how people in her time do? This comment made Katrina spring up to her feet, and she looked at him with awe and wonder sparkling in her eyes. Finally - She regained that twinkle of life he'd been craving for.
"Y-You... You want to... Travel the world? Is that what you said?" the ice had melted, and Nobunaga realised, with his words alone, he managed to get through to her, by accidentally appealing to her own ambitions.
"Yes, that is exactly what I said, though, it might not be until much later, depending on the time it takes to unify the country and bring ultimate peace to my people." his explanation made the girl before him hug herself, and she started fidgeting on the spot, as cute as always. She was as awkward and adorable as before. A little kitten seeking affection, but not wanting to meow for it.
"A-And, uh... Will you be going alone?" though it wasn't the way she thought it would go, Katrina's only wish in her entire life was to see the beauty of the world.
"I suspect traveling alone might be tedious and a bit boring. I'd rather not go alone." he baited her. "Why, are you interested in joining me?" a smug, cocky side-smile was on his face, as he
extended his hand towards her. No matter how much she wanted to reach out and take his hand, she couldn't. She had morals and principals that went far beyond things like self-indulgence.
As if on cue, to remind her of her stolen flame, a knock on the wood was heard, and Mochi announced her presence. Nobunaga said nothing, only watching the resigned way Katrina closed her eye and offered him a bittersweet, heartbroken smile. It was so beautiful, yet it pained him more than the slash of a sword. Once again, the intruder managed to shatter away his only bit of joy.
"I... Could not take the spot of your wife. Forgive me, I have overstepped my boundaries." she spoke in a soft voice, afraid that her voice my betray her. "I have made my decision. I will be returning home when the portal opens." his amber eyes widened at her proposition. Did he truly push her that far? Was he that awful of a man, that he broke the heart of the woman he cherished so much, so much so that she wished to return to a world of hardship and loneliness, rather than see him?
Still, she reached her small hands towards his, and though they were hidden by the sleeves of her kimono, he didn't realised that her caress was a rouse for her to put something into his grasp - She closed his fist around it, then stepped backwards, letting go of him. "Happy late birthday, Oda Nobunaga. I wish you all the best in the world. I am certain you will be achieving great things in the future... And when I go home and open a history book, your greatness will be even more remarkable than it already is. Goodbye." unable to look him in his eyes, she turned around and walked out of the room, giving Mochi a polite smile as she went past her, and into her room. He remained stunned, looking after the departing redhead - Yet he wasn't seeing her, nor Mochi; Instead, those gorgeous green eyes of her, gleaming with bitter tears of sorrow... He could only see those precious gems he loved so much... The eyes of the woman he loved, yet disappointed times and times agiain.
"Nobunaga, my darling, are you feeling quite alright? You're looking distraught..." Mochi waltzed inside his room, her arms snaking around his body... But it wasn't welcomed by the man. He didn't want this girl to touch him like that, so casually; he wanted Katrina and Katrina alone. "What are you holding in your hand...?" she tried to reach out to his hand and snatch whatever it was he was holding, but he hid his hand behind his back. Katrina's gift was too precious to be looked upon by this dumb mewling quim.
"Nothing to concern yourself with. Did you want anything?" though he had the courtesy to ask, he couldn't care less about whatever she wanted to speak. She was gentle, she was kind, she was whatever she wanted to be. But she will never be Katrina.
It was the afternoon before their wedding, and whilst Nobunaga was pondering over a Go puzzle, the Princess was pestering him about wanting to call Katrina over to their room and show off her jewellery and outfits for the wedding. He realised a while ago that she was always purposely rubbing it in Kat's face under that perfect princess facade. It was sickening. Still, she did come over as per requested, and entertained Mochi with whatever she wanted, even going as far as to try the pure white Shiromuku, the wedding kimono that symbolised the sun's rays since before even the Heian period.
Nobunaga's breath hitched in his throat, watching the woman he treasured being forced to wear the wedding dress of her 'rival'... But she looked ethereal. He wanted to see her like that, but for real, not as a mocking. He wanted to have her just as much as he wanted the country.
Much to his dismay, he couldn't enjoy the sight for too long, because the Princess had her change back to her own clothes, before cuddling up to his side. He completely ignored her and went back to his Go puzzle. Katrina was ready to leave, only to suddenly call out to Mochi. "What do you have there?" she asked, with an accusatory voice. She must have been working herself into exhaustion, to allow herself to show her doubt. "What do you have in your haori sleeve, Mochi?" still, Nobunaga was shocked that she was able to catch something so minuscule from the corner of her eyes. Looking down, he could see the familiar glint of a silver spark, barely a millimeter out of her sleeve.
"I have nothing, Kat, why would you think I had anything in my sleeve, of all things?" she giggled softly, covering her mouth with her other sleeve.
"I saw the glint of silver. Show me what you're holding." her voice was more demanding, and though Mochi's face darkened for a split second, she sighed and got up, right in front of the girl, and from her sleeve, she pulled out a silver hair pin accessory,
"It was a gift from Nobunaga, for our wedding. I loved it so much that I wanted to hold it close to me at all times, over my heart, where he belongs. I don't think that's a problem now, is it, Kat?" she spewed her nickname with real poison. "I always knew you were jealous of me... Your partner told me the truth a while ago, but I wanted to still be your friend, and I pretended I saw nothing, especially the way your eyes lingered over my husband. You were just so sad all the time, and so lonely, that I felt pity for you. But you've crossed the line now, Katrina. I think you should leave." no matter how much chaos was inside of her mind and heart, Kat didn't allow herself to react in any way that would damage her image even further. However, it was, by far, the most humiliating encounter she's ever had. "You are not welcomed at our wedding - And I would like to ask you to leave Azuchi tomorrow at morn." that request only made Katrina smile - It was a dry smile, sarcastic and arrogant as Nobunaga's never seen before.
"I wish you a happy marriage, Mochi." with a condescending smile. "And don't worry - I am sure my sweet, strong Tiger will welcome me with open arms." she left the room, smirking to herself; That bitch was losing composure and being too evident with her distaste of Kat - Not only that, she reacted, albeit subtly, at the mention of the Tiger. Fascinating. Down the hall, she met up with Mitsuhide. "Please make sure he's safe. You asked me once whether I saw anything suspicious or not. I did. It was Mochi." she stated bluntly. "I'm leaving Azuchi tomorrow at morning - As per the Princess' royal order." her statement made Mitsuhide's eyes widen, for the first time around the red head - Now, that was something not even he expected. "I wish you, and everyone, all the best, Mitsuhide. Be well. It was my honour and pleasure meeting and befriending you." she was ready to pack her stuff, wait until midnight and then leave the place. She'd be looking for Shingen to stay with him until the wormhole appeared, so her and Sasuke can get out of there. Either way, either era, life was just as harsh and lonely.
She was able to give away that handkerchief, and she expressed her farewells... To one person only. But out of common courtesy, she should write letters of goodbye for the other warlords and Lady Nene and Lady Saigo too. They have been nothing but the sweetest with her, despite being a complete stranger from another time... But she was someone who suffered too much, over the stupidest things. She loved too much for her own good. And she'd rather be a frozen statue, than allow herself to stay around and watch someone she loves being happy with another. It was fine. If he was happy, so was she. It was enough for her.
Dear Nene, thank you for being my sister and making me feel welcomed...
Dear Saigo, thank you for being my beloved confidante and closest friend... Dear Ieyasu, thank you for having faith in me and teaching me medicine - Please take care of your wife for me... Dear Mitsunari, thank you for teaching me so many new things, and being so kind to me... Dear Masamune, thank you for always bringing a smile to my face, and for teaching me how to use a sword... Dear Mitsuhide, thank you for holding the best conversations with me, and for trusting me... Dear Hideyoshi, thank you for looking out for me, and please, take care of Nene for me...
All of the letters were written... Except for Nobunaga's. She should write something for him too, out of courtesy that he allowed her to stay in his home for so long, and all the good and bad memories they shared. All the feelings they expressed through the conversations and their interactions were intimate, and none could understand the connection they shared. But what could she write? There were too many things that she could write, but only a small piece of paper, and little ink left.
Oh. Yeah, she's got it. It was a short message, but it conveyed all of her emotions in the most sincere way possible. A single symbol, representing a myriad of emotions dedicated only to him; something that he should understand very well.
With a smile, very proud of herself for having the strength to write that word for the first time in her life. She folded the paper neatly, and wrote "For Nobunaga" on top of it. Her little luggage was done by the time the moon was at its highest, and she got the courage to go to the Lord. She knocked on the door, though, as expected, nobody answered. They must be sleeping by now. Well, he won't get mad if she tip-toes inside the room and puts the little paper in his hand, right?
Carefully opening the door, making sure she won't make any noise, she steps inside, only to see that, on the ground Nobunaga was sleeping... But Mochi wasn't. In fact, Mochi was staring at her with the expression of a thief caught in the act, her kimono so disheveled that it revealed some rather ninja-looking garments underneath. She quickly fixed her outfit, but the light of the candles, combined with that of the moon, were enough to show off the guilt on her face.
"What have you done?" Katrina wasn't going to indulge her anymore. She hurried to Nobunaga, and felt his pulse was weak. "Did you poison him?"
"You little bitch were on my tail from the very beginning." she scoffed, her otherwise soft and gentle voice now turned more natural - More mature, and scornful. "Yeah, that's right, I killed the man you love. I poisoned him with the tea, and there's nothing you can do about it. In fact, it's the poison that you yourself created. So, how does it feel, killing your beloved with your own two hands?" she giggled maliciously, not noticing that Kat was hiding her lividness very well, yet her blood was boiling with sheer rage.
"So, I was right. You are Mochizuki Chiyome. You are Shingen's kunoichi. I should have known better than to let you off the hook this whole time." Kat scoffed, getting up to her feet. She watched Mochizuki carefully, her amused expression falling into an angered one, yet none moved. It was akin to the initiative from a samurai showdown. You had to anticipate the enemy's move... Masamune taught her that much.
In the split second that Chiyome blinked, Katrina lunged for the door and let out a scream. "HELP! THE ENEMY IS HERE! NOBUNAGA IS--" but before she could continue yelling, her mouth was covered by a small hand, and pulled down to the ground by another hand dragging her hair painfully, away from the door.
"Don't you dare say a word, you little bitch." Mochizuki mounted Kat, and a struggling game ensued right next to Nobunaga's unconscious body - But unlike the medic, the ninja had a small knife, which she drove deep into her shoulder. Kat's shriek of agony was muffled by her enemy's hand, and she pondered over, despite her cloudy brain, what to do to escape this precarious position.
Actually, she knew what to do. She watched a few fighting anime before, and she knew just what to do. Raising her legs so they would be bent at the knee, she put her balance down on her shoulder and her upper back, and with a twist of her lower body, Kat did a hip thrust that sent the ninja off her. That was followed by her taking the knife from her shoulder, despite knowing very well it would make her bleed more, but she wanted to avoid letting a ninja put her hands on Nobunaga's many katanas displayed so beautifully next to the wall. Mochizuki noticed the weapons behind the red head, and she lunged at her, digging her nails onto the girl's wrist, hoping to get ahold of the knife again, but much to her surprise, Katrina bent down and bit her hand before hitting her gut with her shin. Though she didn't get ahold of the ninja knife, she was able to grab the matchlock pistol. She was on the ground, ready to shoot, but the sound of rapid footsteps made her quickly hide the pistol in her sleeve, forcing herself to start crying.
"SOMEONE, HELP! HELP!" in that second, Mitsuhide walked through, his eyes wide and his rifle out, ready to shoot. The image in front of him confused him, as two women looked absolutely disheveled and beaten up. Katrina was still standing, her eyes fixated on Mochi, holding the kunai in her hand, while Mochi was weaponless, on the ground, looking battered up and her face was a mess from the make up smeared by the tears.
"MITSUHIDE! MITSUHIDE, PLEASE, SAVE ME! SHE'S GONE MAD!" she was wallowing on the ground, groveling for aid. "SHE KILLED NOBUNAGA AND NOW SHE'S TRYING TO KILL ME! SHE'S GONE MAD FROM JEALOUSY!" she sobbed loudly.
"...You say that, yet you hide the pistol in your sleeve. I don't know how you fooled Nobunaga, but you won't fool Mitsuhide too." Kat's voice was steady and stern.
"Now you're trying to put the blame on me?! How could you - Not only you killed my soon to be husband, you killed the Lord of this land!" she accused the red head, watching as the knife escaped her hand and fell to the ground.
"I'm putting the blame on you? Don't kid around. Fine. If you don't want to show the pistol, then how about those clothes you're hiding under that kimono of yours? First of, isn't it weird that you're wearing a day kimono, when you should have been sleeping in your garments? And, secondly..." Katrina prowled towards her enemy, intimidating her with the dark aura emanating from her. In a moment, she was kneeling, ripping open the kimono, revealing the ninja clothes hidden. "Why are you wearing ninja clothes, if you're a Princess?" before Mitsuhide could reply, he saw the end of the pistol that Mochi was holding, glued to the red head's forehead.
"Mitsuhide - If you dare shoot me, your little friend will die too! I already killed Nobunaga, I've done my part - I can run away now!" though Mochizuki's smirk was easily erased, realising that her enemy wasn't phased by the weapon that could kill her before she could blink.
"Mitsuhide. Bring Nobunaga to the medical office and call Ieyasu. We already made an antidote for the poison." hearing that info, the ninja's face twisted with rage. "If I don't make it, have Nene and Saigo help take of him. I trust them with that."
"So arrogant - What the hell is wrong with you?" her finger was on the trigger ready to shoot. "You do know what this is, don't you?! I can blow your brains and splatter them all over the room! Why aren't you afraid?! Sob and beg me for mercy, damn it!" her ugly growl only made the medic snort in mock amusement.
"Shoot me." this comment made the silver fox lower his rifle in disbelief. "Go on, shoot me if you can. I dare you." with a war cry, Mochizuki pulled the trigger.
Once. Twice. Thrice.
But nothing.
"What the hell is wrong with this thing?!" she grumbled in confusion and frustration.
"You fucking dumbass. And you call yourself a ninja. How pathetic. If all of Shingen's trusted people were such failures, than he would have been 6 feet underground long ago." with a chuckle, Kat's hands snaked around her own, and slowly, she turned around the pistol toward the ninja's head. "Don't you know, Mochizuki Chiyome, that for a pistol to fire, you have to... Pull the safety." and saying that, she shot at the ninja.
"You're going to give me a heart attack, little fox." Mitsuhide was bewildered by Katrina's deceiving. She was the opposite of what Nobunaga predicted - She could bluff quite well. The bullet was purposely fired away, just barely grazing her temple. It was a warning.
"I will not kill you. That's not my job. My job is to save and heal. You, however, are now the prisoner of the Oda forces, and will be held accountable for it. You will be interrogated by those with the authority." pulling the safety back on, she snatched away the pistol, throwing it next to Mitsuhide's feet.
"You... You... You stupid bitch... What the hell do you know about anything? Nobody loves you, and you love no one, except for this fucking demon who destroys everything that goes in his path. He's a fucking murderer! He's ruthless! He doesn't deserve to rule the country, he'll only bring ruin to us all!" still trembling from being so close to death, Mochizuki was genuinely crying now.
"Then maybe I'm as much of a monster as he is. Who knows?" Kat got on her feet, looking down at her nemesis. "But you... You almost killed me. Even if I let you leave, do you think Shingen will let you go away unpunished?" somehow, her chuckle was much more malicious than her stone hard expression.
"... What do you mean? Why would Lord Shingen punish me? I've done my job, I killed Nobunaga--" in her desperation, she was quickly cut off by the red head.
"You dumb broad, do you have ANY idea that I am Shingen's Kitsune? I'm supposed to be meeting up with him for our second date, in a few days? Not to mention... Do you have ANY idea, at all, that Shingen is DYING?!" she emphasised those words dearly.
"You're... YOU?! YOU are The Kitsune that Lord Takeda pestered Lord Uesugi and Lord Sanada with so much?!" that jealousy was her first concern... Until the news of his ultimate dying were processed. "...Dying? What do you mean... Dying? What have you done to him, you monster?!"
"Ahh, poor Shingen, meddling with such brainless allies!" Kat theatrically sighed. "You'd think you'd spot the only one that stuck out like a sore thumb, of all things. Red hair, green eyes... Very Japanese. Still... You think you know Shingen, but you don't. He has a stomach ailment that is untreatable, and he's been dealing with it for a while. He wants to die in the war, with the due honour of a Warlord..." her smirk was wide and wicked - Mitsuhide and Mochizuki both were shocked to see how perfectly it imitated Nobunaga's. "And I want to take over the Takeda clan and make it mine own. Katsuyori is a dumbass, he can't be the leader of the family. In fact, he'll run it into the ground, and he knows it. Thus - I will kill Takeda Katsuyori. I will lead Shingen's people and make them my own. And when I've got my hand on them, I will make them swear their allegiance to Nobunaga. With Shingen favouring me, on the sole basis that I truly want the unification of the country, and to bring peace to it through diplomatic means, he will turn against even his most cherished rival. Shingen's ambitions are beyond anything you can imagine. You will never be able to understand him. " hearing the truth about her beloved Lord's condition, and his mind views, and how she completely misinterpreted them, she was distraught. How could that be possible...? She felt like dying... In fact, she wanted to die with her Lord. "An empty-head like you could never hope to reach us, Mochi."
"No... That's not possible... That can't be... You're lying! YOU'RE LYING, YOU SOW! HOW DARE YOU LIE TO ME?!" she was desperate - So desperate that she jumped up and started choking the girl - But, unexpectedly, someone threw her off. Someone... That someone was Nobunaga. "You...?! How are you awake?! How are you still standing?! I poisoned you!"
"Poisoned? No, you didn't. I didn't drink the tea. I let myself drink a mild somniferous so that you wouldn't pick up I wasn't poisoned. Ieyasu prepared it for me. From the very beginning, I knew you were the enemy. I got you here to get information from you. I must give you credit, woman, you were annoyingly tight-lipped, and I didn't imagine you were so suspicious of Katrina, considering she was left completely in the dark, with this exact purpose." though slightly amused, he was glaring at the woman on the ground.
"Curse you! CURSE ALL OF YOU--" Katrina shut her up by stomping her foot down on her ankle.
"What makes you so special, Mochizuki Chiyome?" she asked, silencing the whole room - She was freezing hell with her cold anger. "I don't understand. What makes you so special, compared to all the other women? What are you, a saint? A Goddess? No. You are not. And even if you were, you wouldn't have been any special either. Do you know why?" the ninja gasped in pain, the more pressure was applied on her ankle. "Because you are just. A. Woman. No more, no less." her every word hit hard.
"Stop that, you fucking bitch, it hurts!" she cried out, trying to struggle, but her stomach was now stomped on. "I wanted revenge! That's why I did it! That fucking monster killed my husband, and it was only Shingen who showed me any sympathies! That's why I've been aiding him!"
"...You dumb broad. You're so blind to anything around you." the girl shook her head. "War is war. War kills people. People kill people. Do you know why people kill people? Because no kingdom is built with diplomacy and smiles, that's why. As paradoxical as it sound, peace, also, will never really be built with smiles and laughter, but with spilt blood and the dead bodies of the common folk being trampled over by the leaders of either side. That's what life is. That's the time you were born into." it was the harsh reality of not only the Sengoku era, but of all eras. "So why are you any different? Are you the sole woman who lost a loved one? Father, uncle, brother, husband, lover, son. All of them are still men, who died by the hand of another, and likewise, all of them had a family. Mother, aunt, sister, wife, lover, daughter. You lost your husband... So what? What gives you the right to get out of your way to exact vengeance on the man that led his own man against another's man, for the sole purpose of unifying the country and bringing peace to it. For your selfish desires, you almost deprived the future generations of a just leader. What, did you think that once you got the job done, your husband's spirit would be appeased, and Shingen would take you as a concubine, and you'd lead Japan together? I hope you haven't really deluded yourself to that extent. You're too dumb to do anything. So... Just resign yourself with being a mourning woman, just like all the others, and waste away with all your regrets. You won't live long, anyway." with one last taunt, Katrina, with her head held high and the expression of a proud lioness on her face, turned around, ready to exit the room.
"CURSE YOU! CURSE YOU! CURSE YOU! YOU'LL DIE THE MOST HORRIBLE DEATH THERE IS! YOUR SOUL WILL BE DESTROYED AND YOU WILL NEVER FIND NIRVANA! THE CIRCLE OF REINCARNATION IS BROKEN FOR YOU, YOU EVIL DEMON! YOU WILL PAY FOR EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE, YOU DECEIVING VIXEN! YOU WILL BE ALL ALONE YOUR WHOLE LIFE! I CURSE YOU TO A LONG LIFE OF LONELINESS, CURSED TO WATCH ALL THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE DIE AROUND YOU! I CURSE YOU SO YOU'LL NEVER FIND HAPPINESS! I CURSE YOU SO THAT ANYONE YOU LOVE DIES IN FRONT OF YOU! I CURSE YOU TO FEEL ALL THE PAIN I'M FEELING! CURSE YOU! I CURSE YOU FOR A THOUSAND GENERATIONS TO GO!" sobbing and grieving on the ground, the pitiful ninja was making a show in front of everyone, yet was met with nothing but a chuckle.
"Women have been cursed to feel pain since the beginning of times. Whether you curse me or not, it makes no difference to me. I have heard many times, all those curses you've inflicted upon me. The thing is... I believe in no supernatural force, therefore, I don't believe in curses. I create my own luck, my own life, and my own destiny. If you want to curse me, then curse me, but I suggest you do so with your own two hands, otherwise, I may escape that karma more times than I can count." with an enigmatic grin, Kat wiggled her fingers as a form of a lazy goodbye, and she exited the room. As soon as she did, she groaned in pain and clutched her injured, bleeding shoulder. Though there were a lot of things she had to process, including the burning of all the letters she wrote - It would be too embarrassing if anyone were to find them out.
As soon as she managed to drag herself into the medical office, she took off the patterned outer layer of the kimono and stuck out her arm, analysing the wound. It was pretty deep, and though previously she was driven by adrenaline and lots of pent up anger and frustration, but now that those feelings were quickly dissipating, so was her lucidity. Her body was feeling much heavier as she slumped down on the chair, taking a deep breath, attempting to vanish away the cloudiness from her head.
After a few seconds, though even her vision was slightly blurry, she got enough rest to force herself to stand up and grabbed the ointments and bandages, only to stumble, falling back on the chair, dizzy. She couldn't do it yet. She needed a few more breaths to fight through the sudden anxiety produced by the loss of blood. As she held tightly onto the edge of the table, trying not to fall off the chair, she completely missed the opening of the door, or the Lord that stepped inside - He dragged another chair and sat down in front of her, watching the struggling woman whose hair was hiding her gorgeous, yet incredibly exhausted visage.
Nobunaga said nothing. Instead, he reached out to touch her shoulder, only for her to yelp in pain and jerked backwards, hitting her back onto the edge of the table. "Sorry..." he was barely able to hear her apology, that's how soft her voice was. Still, he said nothing. He watched her treat soldiers, and even before that, his warlords were knowledgeable in quick yet efficient fixes. With the ointments, bandages, towels and water already prepared, it was his duty to take care of her. After all, it was his fault for having her injured like that.
First, he took the small towel, and was ready to dip it into water, but the girl stopped him. "Behind you... Take a spoon of salt... Mix it with water." she managed to direct him, and though skeptical, he did as was told. But it was going to be an excruciating pain, and the last thing he wanted was to see her in physical pain, added to the emotional one that he had already caused for a whole month.
"It's going to hurt." he warned in that beautiful, velvety voice of his, and as soon as he saw her close her eyes and nod her head, he reached out one hand, steadying her shoulder, and with the other, he applied the wet saline towel to the wound - Nobunaga had heard countless screams and shrieks of agony before, but none had affected him the same as Katrina's broken scream, and the way her trembling hands were coiled around his wrist, struggling to pull it away from her wound. "S-Sorry... Sorry..." the tears were rapidly streaming down her face, and her breathing was ragged, yet what he couldn't understand was why the hell was she apologising to him? All this was his fault, it should be him apologising to her, not the other way around.
"Come here." carefully, his free hand was caressing her hair, attempting to calm her down and bring her forehead to touch his own shoulder, letting her hands grab at his clothes or his body, to grab or knead her pain away. "Just a bit more. Hang in there." he waited her nod to continue cleaning her wound, and though she wasn't able to stay quiet, and her fingers and nails were digging into his flesh, it didn't matter to him. He had to make up to her somehow. And if having to bear through all this and make sure she's properly treated has to be the start of it, then so be it. Thankfully, the cleaning stopped after what seeming like long, hellish hours, and it was time for the suturing. With shaky hands, she grabbed the hand mirror from the table and pushed it into his hand, adjusting the angle - Then used the lighter to light up a long-fuse candle to sterilize a needle, and with the thread attached to it, she stared into to her shoulder and sighed. "I will die the most horrible death, huh." she muttered under her breath, and dug the needle into the inner layer of the wound, struggling as much as possible to do all the work with one trembling hand, but when it came to tightening the knots, Nobunaga would put his own hands over hers and helped her pull onto the threads. The same went for the outer layer, and though a lot of time passed, it went by unnoticed. Next, Nobunaga applied the antibiotic ointment over the sutures and bandaged the wound tightly, then helped her get her arm back inside her dress. To keep her warm, he took off the haori and draped it over her form. "You won't die." he was stern, but also gentle, and he picked her up, carrying him to her room. If his own room wasn't completely messed up, he'd bring her there, as it was bigger and more comfortable, but hers was rather nice as well, he realised. He never stepped inside it before, but he instructed Mitsunari to make sure it was fit for a Princess. He knew he was always right to trust him.
Laying the futon, and helped her get tucked in, plumping up the pillow - Though he wanted to leave, he wasn't allowed to - Her hands was clinging onto his sleeve. "Don't go." and how could he ever resist her?
"I won't. Sleep. I will still be here when you wake up." with this reassuring, he laid on his side next to her, carefully pulling her to his chest and caressing her hair, soothing her to sleep.
"Thanks..." she muttered lightly, the last thing she said before allowing sleep to take over her.
She was so small compared to him... All this time, she looked tall, and graceful, towering above everyone else with her pride and dignity, she was always so smart and kind, yet to those around her that didn't know her, she looked like a cold, unreachable, intimidating Goddess that walked the land, and everywhere she stepped, flames rose. But she was nothing like that, and seeing her injured, in pain, so broken, made him realise how small and frail she was, made him realise that she was as breakable as every other person. She had to be protected. She was a little deceiving vixen, a cute kitten that needed to be spoiled. Though he was impressed by how imposing she was, how she threatened and taunted the ninja, how she played the great Tiger of Kai into promising her success... In the face of danger, she was still just mortal. Masamune taught her swordplay and Mitsuhide was there to show her the ways of shooting with a matchlock rifle from the west, but if she were to face a samurai, she'd be done for before she could even realise what was going on.
He recalled that hopeful expression on her face, and the glimmer of those other-worldly beautiful eyes, as soon as he told her that he wanted to travel the world - It was the look of a person who was seeing her dreams before her. He wanted to see her like that more often. In fact, he wanted to see that beautiful smile every day, from now on. For a month, he unknowingly caused her so much suffering, though she would never admit to it. She was above human emotions, as she liked to lie to herself, but that handkerchief alone said otherwise. The attentive and detail-orientated needlework, the quality of the silk and the gold thread, and the cursive of his own name, the dragon and the flowers, they were all so beautiful and significant, and she was forced to keep it a secret for almost a whole month. He now remembers the little encounter they had on the day of his birth, and realised she wanted to gift it to him then, but missed the mark... And with the threat of another woman in the way, there was no way for her to pass it on to him. What a shame. So much distress was caused, only for some information that was hardly valuable. And yet, Katrina admitted so plainly that she had been meeting with his enemy and charmed him enough that he may or may not have promised the fate of his people on her shoulders. Whether or not that was true, or she just wanted to taunt the enemy, he shouldn't be surprised. She was special, and it wasn't just him who noticed that. You just need to listen to her words, to notice the spark that most people lacked. Making sure she was fast asleep, he leaned down and kissed her forehead before taking out the little piece of paper from his sleeve and unfolded it. Inside, there were four symbols beautifully inked into it, and together, they formed a phrase that he never thought he would hear in this life, and be completely sincere. Though it wasn't signed, he didn't need anyone to tell her who it was from, or who it was addressed to. It made the Devil King of the 6th Heaven smile. It wasn't one of those cocky smirks, or cheeky side-smiles, or some wicked, demon grin. It was a tender smile.
Nobunaga read the paper a few more times before folding it back and securing it inside his sleeve, and he brought the girl into an even tighter embrace.
"I love you."
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#behind the veil#ikesen#ikesen x reader#ikesen x oc#ikesen imagine#ikemen sengoku x oc#ikemen sengoku imagine#ikemen sengoku x reader#ikemen sengoku#oda nobunaga x hasashi katrina#oda nobunaga x oc#oda nobunaga x reader#oda nobunaga imagine#oda nobunaga
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Violet is so excited to listen to the book Ophelia is reading her, she can't even sit down! Really, because I tried to make her sit down and she just wouldn't. Toddlers, man.
Later on in the night, Violet stumbles upon Marshmallow in the mudroom leading to the backyard.
Violet: I can speak kitty! Meow meow, prrrrr.
Marshmallow: talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique
Xander never actually ate lunch so he's starving by dinner time.
Xander: Aren't you going to have anything?
Ophelia: No, I accidentally ate some normal quality food for lunch and now I feel kind of nauseous. You know how my refined palate gets.
Xander: Your stomach's still bothering you? You said you felt nauseous during the wedding too, and the move.
Ophelia: That was nerves, that's all. This is unrelated. I'm sure some water will settle my uncomfortable moodlet.
Xander: If you say so.
Ophelia: What are you doing out here, silly girl?
Violet: I'm bein' a kitty!
Ophelia: Oh really? Well, even kitties need their sleep. Let's get you ready for bed.
Marshmallow follows her new bestie out.
The previous owners used this room purely as storage for the furniture their kids had outgrown, but at least it meant the Sistem kids had places to actually sleep.
Ophelia reads Violet another story, since this kid cannot get enough books, and tucks her in as she dozes off.
It's time to put Velma to sleep again too, but Ophelia can't bring herself to do it just yet.
Xander: The boys are in bed. Want me to put Velma down?
Ophelia: Nah, I want a little bit of snuggle time.
Xander: Well, these kids got me beat. I'm going to bed. Night, Lemon Cake.
The former owners left a lot of the furniture in their old nursery, so Ophelia goes there to rock Velma. She still feels gross, but the soothing motion of the rocking chair helps. Velma certainly seems to enjoy it.
Ophelia: Xander's right, you are a little jelly bean, aren't you? You sure are as sweet as one. I could just eat you up!
Velma squeals as Ophelia lifts her higher in the air.
Ophelia doesn't want to get Velma too riled up before she puts her to sleep, so she goes back to calm rocking and snuggling.
Ophelia: Do you think I'll be a good mommy, Velma? I think I will.
Velma can't talk, but she doesn't look like she'd argue with you, girl.
Ophelia: I hope when I'm a mommy, I have a little one that's as sweet as you. Marcie makes such cute babies.
Ophelia feeds Velma a quick bottle and burps her before it's time to put her down for the night.
Well, Velma can certainly give you a vote of confidence on whether or not you'll make a good mom, Ophelia. She's a happy camper, at least!
Ophelia and Xander are woken up by a little girl crying, but not Velma.
Xander: Violet's probably scared from waking up in an unfamiliar place. Want me to take care of her?
Ophelia can faintly make out Violet calling for "O'fia" from outside the door.
Ophelia: I've got it.
Xander's theory was right. Ophelia can't blame her for being a little scared. She's probably never been anywhere overnight without her parents.
Violet: Can we call Momma?
Ophelia: Momma's sleeping. We can call tomorrow but how about a snack?
Luckily this appeases the toddler.
A sleepy Violet conks out before Ophelia can even finish slicing some strawberries, but placing the bowl in front of her wakes her up again.
As she digs in, Ophelia grabs a small bowl of grapes. She thinks she can stomach that.
Soon after, Xander is once again woken up by noises of discomfort, though these aren't from being scared.
She certainly doesn't LOOK too sad about what she just did, moodlet!
Xander: Sheesh. You sure know how to wake a guy up. Let's get you cleaned up, stinkbug.
Xander: You're lucky you're cute.
Xander lays her down on the changing table and gets to work changing her diaper. Velma giggles and kicks her little legs.
Xander: You think this is so funny, don't you? I guess if someone else had to wipe my poopy butt, I'd laugh too.
Xander: What the- How'd this get in your diaper?
Hopefully her siblings weren't looking for that toy. They're really not going to want it back now.
He tosses the toy dragon aside, making it Tomorrow Xander's problem.
Xander: All better, huh? Back to bed with you, Miss Velma.
Violet seems in higher spirits after eating her snack and getting lots of attention.
Ophelia: Alright, girly, what's it going to take to get you back in bed?
Violet: Story!
Ophelia: Another one? You drive a hard bargain, kid.
Ophelia reads another book to Violet, softly, as to not disturb her brothers.
She may be exhausted but she's getting plenty of experience for the future.
#The Sims#The Sims 4#The Sims 4 Legacy#The Lemon Legacy#TS4#The Sims 4 gameplay#sims 4#generation 1#ophelia#xander#violet#velma
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Give me any and every Scythe thought. I want to see if our thoughts are matching up (the video notes are kicking my ass)
First of all, I haven't been looking too hard at the YouTube hints that Scythe left in the community posts, so I had no idea about the puzzle apparently leading up to the announcement???
Also, video notes?
I was on the polls for the first universe to travel to so.... I did end up voting for the World of Witches because I was curious about how he'd handle the Siren.
Jay-Jay is my baby, one of my favorite bois, and I'm really worried about him, and I've been so on edge since the beginning of this whole thing.
I've been trying not to post anything about the Patreon stuff because Maverick's got hold on most of Scythe's social media right now.
I might know a lot of things y'all don't but I'll keep them to myself unless you wanna go into DMs for it.
(Putting it under the cut for the people that haven't listened to the Reddening yet. :3c)
I've been crying about Marcus for forever, I am very sad. He ded now but hasn't stopped me from simping before, so, I guess it doesn't change much?? Seriously, I have so much suppressed brainrot for him, and I am devastated he is gone.
I would have also loved more Cole because, well... He was just a silly little guy, and he was really funny. 😭
I also kind of got like a separate idea of how the World of Witches storyline will go, but it's more my interpretation. More so, the forward move for Creed and the Chosen Witch.
I feel so badly for Creed, man, this is gonna be rough.
I'm happy Siren had the mind to just... Fly away because he's got self-preservation.
It's interesting to know that Maverick can overpower Celestials.
... And strong enough to blow up a planet! (It actually feels very DragonBall Z.)
I really liked Killian and Sparkles too, so I'm sulky. I'm kind of relieved Blaine is okay, and very interested where Dominic and the Goddess of Decay will shoot for after they find out Zappy is gone. :T
Maverick had literally dropped into the Demon Hunter universe just to get Hunter to unravel and fucking off elsewhere is a little funny.
Also the small bites of...
[MatPat voice] LOOOORE.
//clears throat
Sorry about that.
But uh, also live for the thought Scythe is just angrily floating in a void - it brings me so much amusement.
He was literally just chilling in his home, and Maverick just yoink.
But anyhow, finding out who Maverick's shooting for next made my heart fuckin' drop.
~ Dari
#dari blabs#response asks#scythe asks#the reddening#the reddening spoilers#xdolls crownx#scythe spoilers
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Rules: list 10 of your comfort shows and then tag 10 people
I've been tagged by @bengiyo, thank you! (っ˘ω˘ς )
- Doctor Who: Whatever my mood is, whatever the reason I need some comfort, there’s always one or two episodes of this one that will provide exactly what I need.
- Sense 8: Sometimes I just need to watch people connect, love, learn to understand, and help each other across the world to feel a little less alone a little less sad, and this one does that so beautifully.
- Batman the Animated Series (1992): This one is just a huge part of me. It birthed my love of Batman, super heroes, comic books, animation, and it stays my fave incarnation of the bat. Either in French or in English, this one is always here for me.
- Criminal Minds: I've always had a soft spot for procedural shows- i love a mystery of the week format with a team I can imprint on. So despite the copaganda of it all, I still love this one dearly, the team is one of my favorite and I can rewatch it endlessly.
- Tsukuritai Onna to Tabetai Onna: That show opened me up and put me back together when I watched it in february, and I find myself coming back to it often, putting on an episode here and there when I need to feel soft.
- Until We Meet Again: I know this one may not sound like a very comforting show at first glance, what with all the tragedy and sadness. But it’s full of hope, and things DO get better. It also has two fascinating families, great sets of siblings (as always, my weakness), and fantastic friendships. I just cherish it so much, I cry a lot but I always come out of it feeling warmed up.
- Takara kun to Amagi kun: This one did a lot of heavy lifting for me this year. It's soft and gentle, a little silly, it's short so I can watch it over a bad day... it's like a nice little desert and a great pick me up.
- Daria: There are days where nothing can make me feel better but that smart, acerbic, cynical teen and her surviving high school. I discovered this one once I was out of high school but I still feel very attached to Daria who reminds me very much of one of my best friends.
- Love Is More Than a Word: it may not be very well known, and it may have suffered a lot from censorship plot wise giving it a rushed end, but I love this little show beyond words. I adore bumbling magistrate Tao Mo who is so kind and gentle, his relationship with Gu She, it's funny and sweet and touching and they have a wedding at the end I just - I just love it.
- And then, I realized that while I rewatch stuff a lot, when I really need comfort I tend to skim through shows just to put on some very specific scenes so here's a little selection of what has comforted me the most this year: the "Jiu hugging Tian after thinking he got hurt" and the "I love you too I MEAN THE KIDS LOVE YOU" scenes from Khun Chai, the five (ish) Nick/Neil scenes from Love Syndrome III, all the dancing endings of I Will Knock You, the Malik/Ken duet from Rainbow Prince, the "my future boyfriend"-and-squeal between Sky and Jiao in SCOY, the scene where Onoe runs after Kaburagi outside the bar from Ameiro Paradox, the Sean/Maitee crumbs in Star in your mind, the drunk scene that leads to Rak realizing that he's in love with Diao from RakDiao, Xiao Lanhua's proposal to DFQC from LBFD, the hand holding on the bridge in Kieta Hatsukoi...
As always, if you feel like doing it (and haven't done it yet!) 'll tag @troubled-mind @heretherebedork @sparklyeyedhimbo @petrichoraline @benkaaoi @coquelicoq @sauvechouris @scienceoftheidiot @dengswei and @iguessitsjustme
#thank you again for asking!#can't present stuff i like without babbling about it i'm afraid aha#i rewatch shows a lot but to pick myself up I very very often just... go back to small moments that made me feel good#tag games
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It's the 31st of October, happy Halloween everyone!
Hope you'll celebrate this day happily with your ghosts friends and you'll watch your favourite horror movie tonight.
But this is not the important stuff today.
Today it's Seunghyub Day! 🥳
Happy birthday! 🥳
Please, look at the collage I made for him 🥹
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I can't believe this month I've ended two birthday letters series, I'm still shocked about it 😭
And it's kinda ironic that I'm ending my N.Flying birthday letters with HIM. The man himself, the leader, Seunghyub 😭
Oh boy, what a rollercoaster writing these letters has been. Honestly, I thought about the format too this time because I wanted to make a very very special letter to him BUT since he's doing well and he's not in the military (thank god) I'll just give you the classic format BUT I've made sure to make it very long this time.
Sorry, you'll read much more this time.
My relationship with Seunghyub is kinda complicated. If you've followed me for a while you already know that I've reblogged many, and I say MANY, Seunghyub posts: photos, GIFs, videos, I think Seunghyub is the N.Flying member with so many posts about it on my blog. He has even more posts than my actual N.Flying bias, it's kinda crazy. But despite this mass posting, Seunghyub still didn't take a place in my bias line.
But despite this, Seunghyub is still important to me. I've met my dearest moots thanks to him and I think I've learned a lot about him thanks to them too.
Like, I think I know all the freaking times he made something risky like making a shirtless photoshoot or that time he starred in a drama and...well, he went randomly shirtless and did some work out too. And every time he does something I consider risky I always make sure to tag my moots on it because he truly makes them cry and scream.
And not only these moments, mind you. There are the silly moments too. Like, I can't believe that this tall man had a boomer moment when he joined Fromm and he couldn't change his propic properly. Or when he went at 2idiots and he almost failed the game and went shirtless. Or when he didn't know how to wear a shirt the right way. This man is silly, very, very silly.
And of course all the silly moments are always connected to what is his second family to him, N.Flying as a whole. And N.Fias too. I think that these days he has been more active than ever (I mean knowing the period ofc he's much more active now). It's honestly good that he wants to spend much time with us and keeping us company while waiting for N.Flying coming back as a whole. Sure, that means more boyfie moments but the company, the company you all. That is more important right now.
And of course I should talk about his music side too. And confess that at first I didn't believe he had a deep talking voice. I believed he had his singing voice and not that one. But still, it's not the most important thing to notice. The important thing to notice is his song writing, both as Seunghyub and as J.DON. because I'll never believe that someone isn't capable of vibing with Clicker, like no, that song is a banger. But there's one song in particular that deserves the spotlight today.
There's one song in N.Flying that I don't listen to too much. Not because it's a bad song or something, but only because I get so emotional when I listen to it that I should listen to it only for some occasions. That song is Starlight.
I don't think this song needs any introduction. If you've followed N.Flying for more than five minutes, you probably already know the meaning behind it, the cute yet sad MV and how it wasn't one of the most played songs live until recently apparently. Maybe Seunghyub went through some emotional struggle and decided to make everyone, especially me, teary and emotional during these recent N.Flying concerts, who knows. Jokes apart, I sincerely think that this song is so powerful to me that you don't need to search the translation to understand its feelings. Heck, I barely remember the translation myself and I still cry when I hear the words.
All this introduction just for telling you that this song, apart for tearing me apart all the time that I hear it, helped me a lot this year. I don't want to enter too much in detail because that would completely ruin the letter's vibe and, well, this is a birthday letter after all, but, at the beginning of this year I lost an important person in my life. The night I received the news I was so devastated that I didn't want to cry about it in front of my parents. It happened only once in my life and I didn't want to do it. I wanted some time alone, you know?
So I went into my room, put on my earphones and searched for a song to listen to. And my mind went towards Starlight. I searched the song, pressed play and let the song ring in my ears. I cried a lot. I think I've put the song on loop a couple of times while I was letting out all the tears. I was tired after a while. But I wanted to listen to the song one last time. And the song turned from a catalyst to a comfort blanket.
Dear Seunghyub, I don't want to reduce your songwriting to just one song but I want to tell you that, thanks to your music, I made a good bunch of friends and I went well when I had some terrible moments during my life. You caught a young fan's heart and you'll keep doing it as time will pass.
That's why my birthday wish for you is that you'll be able to wrap up all the songs from your SoundCloud and that you'll give us the next J.Don comeback from those. The world needs more of your music, your creativity, more of you in general.
Since you already did your birthday live, I can only wish for you the best day ever today. Spend it brightly.
Happy birthday, Seunghyub ❤️
#n.flying saved my life~sincerely the emo girl who wrote this#oh gosh what thing have I become now#did I travel back to 2013 but N.Flying are Linkin Park now?#...yes#sorry Seunghyub you probably don't listen to emo stuff but you have a emo fan somehow#n.flying#seunghyub#the j. to your don ❤️#hbd seunghyub 🥳
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