#he's sad and also genuinely funny and optimistic

[thelastspeecher]

I just had my biannual "the Smallville version of Bart Allen is the only accurate representation of Bart Allen despite having severe limitations as to what aspects of his canonical backstory they could use" rant

and decided to look into whether he was on The Flash (2014) (which I stopped watching bc I went to grad school and Didn't Have Time and never got around to finishing but I really should at some point)

and he WAS

and just the short blurb on Wikipedia is making me dread that my "Smallville Bart is the only accurate Bart" opinion will remain unchanged when I finally get around to finishing The Flash (2014)

[honey-milk-depresso]

Jason, Tim and Dick with an s/o who’s completely the opposite of them??

Requests open until 1 Feb (GMT 8+)! Please read the rules on my pinned post (provided the navi post link to go to rules). Thank you!🩷

Batboys with an s/o completely opposite of them

Dick Grayson

Dick is a very extroverted, active and optimistic individual while you’re very introverted, lazy (let’s all be real here-) and… well, he calls you a realist (because he doesn’t wanna call you a pessimist-).

The two of you have a rather funny dynamic between the two of you: Dick’s always the one dragging you out because you need “sunlight”.

“Come on, s/o! Let’s take a stroll! Gotta get that vitamin D!”

“Dick… it’s 8pm.”

“…” “You get the point, come on now-”

He’s just concern for your health because he loves you and doesn’t want you to just laze at home all the time, you know? And isn’t it nice to take a stroll with your boyfriend?? Come on now-

Dick’s always the one to cheer you up when you’re grumpy or sad (or both), and you’re always there to ground him back to reality when needed and he appreciates that.

Another thing to note is that he actually has poor communication skills when it comes to the relationship, and always feels like he’s a burden to share his problems. You, on the other hand, aren’t afraid to speak your mind and put a lot of trust in him when it comes to communicating challenges within your relationship with Dick and you encouraging him to put trust in you because he will never burden you because you love him honestly makes him admire you, and also fall in love with you even more.

It’ll take some time, not because he doesn’t trust you, it’s just because there’s that lingering thought of not wishing to burden you and also because old habits die hard but… slowly he’ll get there, and that’ll be the one thing you guys can be similar in.

For now, he loves his potato couch cutie (just stroll with him every once in a while at least-) <3

Jason Todd

Has no idea how he even managed to get you, because you’re everything he’s not.

He’s always so emotional, impulsive and jealous, while you’re so calm, rational and trusting in him even when he knows he’s got so much sin in him that he’s not proud of committing, and knows he can’t be forgiven for them at times.

Yet… you never saw that in him. You’ve always thought he’s someone compassionate, loyal and caring, and you love him even at his worse. He’s never thought of himself like that after you told him so sincerely and gently that he almost broke down and cried. You love him so much as much as he loves you it makes him feel so warm and comforted. He just feels so lucky to have you.

He kinda wishes he’s like you, because he’d always think it’s better to be anyone else but you’d tell him otherwise. Besides, it’s always opposites that attract.

He loves you with every fibre of his being, you’re like a second chance given to him. Well, not that he sees you as a way to feel better but he genuinely believes you’re an angel sent to him. Literally. But seriously, he loves you and he’ll try to be a little bit more calmer than let his anger get the best of him. You always can calm him down anyways.

You always told him that his compassion for you touched you, and that his warmth and love is something you’ve never had before from anyone, you make him feel so special, you know that? <3

Tim Drake

Tim’s… all sorts of things. He’s ambivert, more introvert-leaning, but he’s also poor in time management due to his workaholic nature and rather reserved in temperament.

And you were a lot more responsible and better in time management because you ACTUALLY do set limits for yourself than just doing EVERYTHING in one goal. You weren’t a control-freak like him, rather taking things slowly. Just like him, you’re an ambivert but more extrovert-leaning and you had a tendency of getting lost in your emotions, just being more sensitive than him in general.

Every time you try to drag him to bed, shower, eat, just take care of himself he gets a bit pouty every time you do this but he’s touched. You had to open his eyes to let him see that timetables exist, and open up his heart to let him know it’s okay to take a break. Breaks even. He deserves breaks.

Tim is always there to calm you down. You just get so worried for him every time he goes out for patrol because anything could happen to him in Gotham. He reassured you, kissing your forehead softly while you patch him up with a little bit of tears glossing your eyes and tells you he’s okay. He’s never really had people care for him so much to the point they cry which was why when he got a few minor cuts on his arms and torso, he panicked when he saw you cry so much. He makes a mental note to make sure he doesn’t come home too injured, but at the same time you always tell him he shouldn’t hide his pain from you. You just want him safe.

You two just blend well together, and he always feels like he can come to you when he feels troubled. And you can always go to him for comfort.

Bonus: You dragging Tim by his feet to go to bed while his coffee-drunk ass is sighing in defeat and lets you drag him away but smiled tenderly despite being tired. Sigh, fine. He’ll sleep, just for you. <3

Reblogs help! ^^

[tabitha42]

The Wizard's Apprentice - Chapter 19

Saffron is just a lowly apprentice with barely a successful firebolt to her name. So what chance does she have with the arch mage she's slowly falling in love with?

Gale x Tav, slow burn, eventual smut

Chapter 1 Previous chapter Next chapter

The atmosphere was buzzing with excitement and joy. Wine flowed, people danced, music and laughter filled the air. Karlach had convinced Wyll to join the party, at least for a bit, and the six of them were finally catching up on the day as the tieflings settled in. 

“Then suddenly, there were 6 of her!” Astarion recounted, throwing his usual dramatic flair on the story as he told it. “Of course, immediately I knew which was the real one.” “Did you?” Shadowheart challenged. “Funny how you shot all the others first, then.” “Well, I had to shoot them to get rid of them,” he said defensively. 

“I’m sure that’s the reason,” she said knowingly, looking into her cup of wine before taking a sip. 

“I don’t know how you’re drinking that swill,” Astarion murmured, looking at her glass. “Honestly, we rescue these tieflings and this is the thanks we get? Vinegar for wine?”

“Oh, did no one tell you where the good wine was?” she said, sounding… somewhat genuine as she looked over at him. 

“There’s good wine?” he asked, equal parts surprised and eager. 

“There is. Give me the hag’s bone charm and I’ll tell you where it is,” she said, a small smile playing on her lips. 

“Oh, I see. Forget it, it’s mine,” he snapped back, narrowing his eyes at her. Saff, Gale and Wyll had very quickly come to learn that the others were all trying to convince Astarion out of this charm he’d got off the hag. 

“If you insist,” she said calmly with a shrug, taking another deep gulp of wine. Astarion watched her, twitching slightly. 

“I still can’t believe you managed to defeat a hag,” Gale said, deciding to pull the conversation away from Astarion’s desperation for a good glass of wine. He didn’t see the problem, the wine wasn’t anything great but it wasn’t as bad as Astarion was making out. “They’re notoriously powerful.” 

“As are we,” Lae’zel said confidently. “I was disappointed to have missed the goblin fight, but the hag makes for a fine victory.” 

“I can’t say I’m sad to have missed fighting a hag,” Gale said with a small chuckle. “Though I might have been interested to see her magic. I wonder if she’d have been able to remove the tadpole if you’d let her try.” 

“Well she’s still there if you want to find out for yourself,” Astarion said, finally prying his thoughts away from the wine. “You will have to give her an eye, though.” 

“I’m quite content with my eyes the way they are, thank you very much. But that won’t stop me wondering.” 

“What happened to the girl?” Saff asked, leaning forward a bit. “What was her name? Mary something? You didn’t leave her with the hag, did you?”

“Mayrina. No, we didn’t, the hag told her the deal was off. Then the ungrateful little wretch said we’d ruined everything and ran away,” Astarion said, rolling his eyes. “We found her crying over her husband’s corpse. We also found a wand in the hag’s lair with his name on it. Well, she now has a zombie for a husband,” he said with a smirk, clearly feeling like they got back at her for being so ungrateful. 

“Poor girl…” Karlach murmured with a sad sigh, much less happy about the outcome of it all. 

“She made a deal with a hag and lived to tell the tale. You’ve given her more than most people would have got in her situation,” Wyll said. It was the first time he’d spoken in a while - he’d generally been quite quiet and reserved, but Saff couldn’t help but notice that one of the first times he speaks is to cheer up Karlach. It worked - Karlach managed a small smile. 

“Yeah, I guess so. I hope she gets back to Baldur’s Gate ok.” 

“Maybe we’ll be able to find her when we get there ourselves,” Wyll suggested optimistically, meeting her smile with a smile of his own. 

Meanwhile, Astarion had gone back to staring at Shadowheart’s wine glass and finally broke. 

“Oh gods, fine! I’ll give you the damn thing, but you have to give me the wine first,” he snapped, seemingly out of nowhere. Shadowheart was unsurprised though, and just smiled. 

“Very well, this way,” she said, standing up and leading him off. 

“Do you think she actually has a stash of good wine hidden away?” Gale wondered, starting to sound a bit tempted. Saff chuckled and shook her head. 

“I think she’s having him on,” she said, watching as the two disappeared off towards her tent. 

“She is,” Lae’zel said confidently. The others looked at her in surprise. “Mol has the good wine. She told me as much earlier.”

Gale chuckled softly. Of course Mol would say that. 

“Well then, I think we’d better pay Mol a visit,” he decided, standing up. 

Mol did, indeed, have some wine, and she was even willing to part with it for a small offering of coin. Whether or not it was actually any better than the rest of the wine was hard to say.

The group split up to mingle with the rest of the guests. Gale and Saff’s eyes were caught by a dancing spell across the camp, and made their way over to find Rolan performing illusions for his siblings. Sparkling lights shimmered in the air above them, glittering as they fluttered down to earth. It was a fairly basic spell, but beautiful nonetheless.

Gale and Saff joined Cal and Lia in applause, and soon were chatting to Rolan about his plans to further his wizarding powers once he got to Baldur’s Gate.

“Lorroakan?” Gale said in surprise when he heard the name of Rolan’s master-to-be. “I’ve heard of him. Word in Waterdeep is he’s a bit of a cad, but you say he’s an accomplished wizard?”

“Of course he is! The greatest spellcaster along the Sword Coast. As if I’d settle for a lessor mentor,” Rolan said confidently, almost offended by Gale’s comments. 

“Malitas says the same… he’s not a big fan of Lorroakan. Though I was surprised when he said that, I always thought Lorroakan was supposed to be incredibly powerful,” Saff commented.

“He is incredibly powerful. Whoever this Malitas is clearly doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” Rolan said dismissively. 

“He’s my master. He’s from Baldur’s Gate as well, and he does know what he’s talking about,” she replied rather defensively. Though given what Gale had said about him in the past, there was the slightest bit of uncertainty in her voice.

“Malitas? Never heard of him,” Rolan said with a shrug, as if that proved he wasn’t worth listening to by virtue of not being famous. 

“He likes to keep a low profile.”

“He does? Strange. Any wizard worth his salt should be proud of his skills.” 

Gale decided to intervene before an argument started. 

“Well, if Lorroakan is as powerful as you say, then I’d very much appreciate it if you could arrange an introduction should we reach the city.”

“Ah yes, a grand idea! I would be happy to. Then you can both see how powerful he is for yourselves.”

Conversation after that, luckily, was a bit more light-hearted. They discussed magic, their favourite spells, and swapped stories of the various disasters they’d each caused during their time spent learning their craft. 

Eventually they left to mingle with the others. As the night wore on the wine continued to flow, and soon Alfira had gained a small group of dancers in front of her as she played. Luckily either she hadn’t drunk as much as the rest of them, or if she had, she was much better at playing while drunk than anyone had any right to be. 

“Come on, let’s dance!” Karlach called to them as she went to the dancefloor herself. Her enthusiasm was infectious it seemed, as she managed to get Halsin and Astarion up there with her too, though the significant amounts of wine they’d both had probably helped. 

Saff’s face lit up and she looked to Gale. 

“Let’s go!” she said excitedly, but he shook his head. 

“You go dance. I am not one for dancing - especially not when I’ve had quite this much to drink,” he said with a laugh. Though there was an ache in his heart as he said that - in his youth, back at the academy, he was quite the dancer. His was a popular hand at the annual Blackstaff’s Ball. But in recent months, it was yet another thing he found he’d lost his love for. A melancholy mood came over him as he thought about it. 

“Aww, come on, please?” she begged, taking his arm and trying to pull him along, but he remained resolute. 

“Perhaps later. For now, I think I need to sit down. Besides, I’ve had you to myself all evening. The others deserve the pleasure of your company too.” She sighed and folded her arms. 

“Alright, later. I’ll hold you to that,” she said playfully, before joining Karlach and the others. 

Gale headed back to his tent and sat down on the blankets just outside the door. His shift in mood hung over him until he looked up to see the others and found a smile come to his lips as he saw Saff dancing, smiling widely as she lost herself in the music. He hadn’t realised how skilled a dancer she was and found himself mesmerised as he watched her, the elegant sway of her hips and flow of her arms, each twirl and movement flowing perfectly into the next. It was rude to stare, of course… but he couldn’t help himself now as he watched her dancing in the moonlight.

The songs flew by, until eventually it was just Saff and Karlach left out of their group. Astarion had retreated back to the wine and Halsin back to a quieter corner. Even Saff was beginning to tire, but Karlach looked like she could dance all night. 

“Ahh, Saff, I’m so happy!” she declared, holding her arms out wide and soaking in the atmosphere. “All these people, happy, because of us! It’s so good to be back here, in a place where good can still happen. Ten years… ten years I’ve been stuck in the Hells… but this… this is everything I dreamed of coming back to!” 

Saff could hear the emotion in her voice, even see tears forming in her eyes as she spoke. 

“Well… almost everything,” she said, lowering her arms and looking at Saff with a playful smile. “Now I just need to find a fire-retardant lover to get lost in all night.” She paused and glanced around with a cheeky grin. “Where’s Wyll?”

Saff couldn’t help but laugh.

“I feel, for his sake, I need to remind you he’s not fire-retardant,” she teased. 

“I know. Believe me, I know. Not a moment goes by where I don’t curse the world for it.”

“Maybe we need to find you guys a potion of fire resistance.” 

“You know, that might help,” she laughed, then went back to looking round. “Hang on - where is Wyll?” she asked, realising she couldn’t actually see him anywhere. Saff looked around too and realised he was nowhere to be seen. “Shit,” Karlach swore, suddenly feeling guilty. “I shouldn’t have left him…” 

Saff felt her heart sink too. Had Wyll really only been staying around cause Karlach had made him? 

“If he really doesn’t want to be here… then maybe it’s better to let that happen,” she said sadly. 

“Maybe… but just because he doesn’t want to be at the party, doesn’t mean he has to be on his own,” Karlach decided. “I’ll go find him.” 

“You sure? He wouldn’t want you to miss the party,” she said, knowing how much Karlach had been enjoying herself. 

“I’ve been partying all night. I’ve loved every moment of it, but right now… I want to be with him,” she said softly. The sincerity in her voice brought a smile to Saff’s lips. “Plus… I need to free you up to get someone else to dance with you,” she added playfully, throwing a glance in Gale’s direction.

“Pfft, I’ve tried. He won’t,” she said, shaking her head with a disappointed sigh. 

“Well you just haven’t tried hard enough! Plus, he’s had more to drink now,” she said with a grin. “Have a dance for me and Wyll. I’ll see you in the morning.”

With that she gave her a wave and headed off to find him. Saff sighed softly and glanced around. Shadowheart and Astarion were sat on a rock, sharing what was presumably the good wine, looking like they were judging everyone in the camp. They probably were. Lae’zel was talking to one of the tieflings, Halsin was talking to Zevlor, and Gale was by himself. Well, she decided, it was time to remedy that. 

He looked up at her and smiled as she approached. 

“Done dancing?” he asked as she sat next to him, lifting the bottle of wine that was sat next to him to offer her some. 

“For now,” she answered, holding out her glass. He poured the wine, giving her a generous portion. “Is this a different wine to before?” she asked, giving it a sniff. 

“Yes. I finished the other bottle,” he admitted. She chuckled softly and took a sip. “Where did Karlach go?” he asked, having clearly watched their conversation just now. 

“To go find Wyll.” 

He paused, frowned, then looked around, surprised to see that Wyll had, in fact, disappeared. 

“Huh… I didn’t even notice him leave.” He sighed softly and looked into his drink. “I hope he’s ok…” 

“I think Karlach’s going to make sure of that,” she said with a confident smile. 

“Heh, I hope you’re right. Hard to believe those two were enemies less than a tenday ago. They’ve become fast friends,” he said, and the way he said it implied he was well aware of the budding relationship between them. 

“They’re not the only ones,” Saff said, looking up at him. It wasn’t something she’d usually have the courage to say, but the copious amounts of alcohol were certainly helping in that regard. He looked at her in surprise at first, until a smile came to his lips. 

“No… I suppose they’re not,” he said softly. They held each other’s gaze for a long moment, before Gale spoke again.

“I never knew you were such a good dancer,” he complimented, lifting his glass to his lips and taking a sip.

“You think?” she asked, a slight blush on her cheeks as she looked at him. “Most definitely. Your dancing is like… poetry of the body. Beautiful, elegant… mesmerising, even…” he said softly. The blush on her cheeks deepened and she found herself almost too flustered to reply. 

“Well… next time, you’ll just have to join me,” she said, looking at him with a playful smile, hoping the blush wasn’t too obvious. 

“Hmm… you’re certainly tempting me to reconsider…” he mused, holding her gaze for a long moment… til he finally leant back a bit and lifted his cup to his mouth. “For now though, you look like you could do with a rest,” he said with a slight chuckle, which she had to agree with. 

The two of them sat quietly for a moment, enjoying the wine, the atmosphere, and each other’s company.

“Beautiful night, don’t you think?” Gale said after a while. “Nothing like a brush with death to make one appreciate the majesty of the celestial canvas.” 

“It’s stunning,” she agreed, following his gaze up to the stars. “I used to love stargazing back home when I was younger, in the orphanage. One of the books had all the constellations. I’d always try to find them, but I never could,” she admitted, chuckling slightly. He glanced down at her a moment, then back up at the sky. 

“Which ones did you look for?” he asked. 

“The Centaur. The Woman Warrior. The Huntsman,” she said, listing the first few that came to mind. 

Gale looked up, his eyes scanning the sky. He then raised his hand and pointed upwards. 

“See that line of stars there?” he asked, carefully tracing the line with his finger. 

“Where?” she asked, trying to follow where he was pointing. He glanced down again, then carefully leant down til his head was next to hers, adjusting where he was pointing to match her viewpoint. He moved his arm behind her slightly to rest his weight on. 

“There,” he whispered, tracing the outline of the constellation once more. “Can you see it?”

There was a pause, then he heard a small gasp. 

“Yes!” she whispered, elation in her voice. He smiled to himself, happy to hear her excitement. 

“That’s the Warrior Woman. And over here,” he started, moving his hand to another part of the sky, “rides the Centaur. Do you see him?” 

Another pause, followed by another squeal of delight. 

“I do!” She could hardly believe it. It had felt impossible to find them on her own, but now they were pointed out, she could see them clear as day. “They’re beautiful.” 

“They are, aren’t they?” he agreed, lowering his hand, but staying close to her. “They say in another thousand years he will complete his voyage across the sky and cross swords with the Woman Warrior again, as they did a hundred years ago. Do you know what happened then?” he asked, glancing to her. She shook her head. He looked back to the stars as he spoke. “It is a story of two lovers who sought the destruction of Waterdeep, and the heroes who defended the city. They say it was the hottest day of the year as a great female warrior and a heroic centaur engaged in an arm-wrestle in one of Waterdeep’s most famous taverns, Selûne's Smile, run by an avatar of the goddess herself. The cosmic alignment magnified the power of their contest, which mixed with latent magic amplified by the heat, to tear open a portal. Through that portal came the lovers Aviss and Fellandar, ancient enemies of the city, to wreak a path of destruction. Khelben Arunsun, the Lord Mage of Waterdeep, urged the warrior and the centaur to continue their contest to keep the portal open while the heroes Kyriani Agrivar and Onyx the Invincible pursued the lovers. Luna herself, Selûne's avatar, joined the fight, and with their strength combined they were able to banish the lovers back from whence they came, and the city was saved. The moral of the story is always check the constellations before starting an arm wrestle.” 

She laughed at what had sounded like such a serious story followed by such a nonsensical moral. 

“Did that really happen?” she asked, looking at him. 

“So they say,” he answered, looking back to meet her eyes again. He still hadn’t moved away from where he’d positioned himself earlier, and as they looked into each other’s eyes now, they were close enough to feel the other’s breath on their skin. 

“Wild things happen in Waterdeep, don’t they?” she said softly, almost a whisper.

“More than you could believe… you’ll have to come and see for yourself,” Gale replied. He knew he shouldn’t let himself give into this, but he found himself getting lost in her eyes…

“I’d like that…” she whispered, getting equally lost in his eyes, slowly starting to lean closer…

Above them, across the camp, Shadowheart and Astarion watched. 

“This has got to be it,” Astarion said, not taking his eyes off them as he sipped his wine. 

“It’s not going to happen,” Shadowheart said confidently, only half watching them as she drank. “10 gold says they’re sharing a tent by the end of the night.” 

“Ohh, you’re on.”

[tossawary]

I forgot how fucking funny Shen Yuan is. He’s such an unreliable narrator (at least in my interpretation of him) partly because he’s genuinely oblivious to some things and partly because he’s sometimes intentionally ignoring problems like his own trauma, but also because he’s just cracking jokes all the time. It’s hard to know just how seriously he’s taking things sometimes or whether or not the situation is genuinely Like That, because there’s often a chance that Shen Yuan is exaggerating or underplaying the situation in the noble pursuit of 1) The Bit or 2) dunking on Airplane.

Couple of my favorite random, mundane examples of him being hilarious at the beginning of SVSSS:

Shen Qingqiu was an easygoing person.

Since his residential address had already been changed to Proud Immortal Demon Way, and since he’d already kicked the bucket in his original world, he figured he might as well try making it work here.

He’d arrived in a cultivation setting, received a body with decent martial ability and swordsmanship for free, and was also part of a famous righteous sect. If he wanted to stand out, he could stand out, and if he wanted to lie low, he could hole up on Cang Qiong Mountain Sect’s Qing Jing Peak and be a recluse. What was there to complain about?

The only slightly difficult thing would be finding a girlfriend. In this sort of male power fantasy stallion novel, any woman inevitably belonged to the male lead, as long as she wasn’t ugly. Everyone knew this.

Still, Shen Qingqiu was a man of few needs; he would have been satisfied just idling away to a ripe old age. In that way, it wouldn’t be that different from how his previous life had been going.

- SVSSS, Vol 1, Ch 1

Shen Yuan cracks jokes rather than deal with any grief over dying (handwaves over the whole thing, we don’t get to see his quiet moments in the beginning), optimistically acknowledges landing in a very sweet situation for his new life even if the character role isn’t good (kind of reads to me like he’s telling himself he doesn’t have a good reason to complain, so he’s telling himself not to be sad), and then cracks a joke about how hard it’ll be to get a girlfriend.

I read the next bit as him dunking on stallion novels slightly, although I do also think Shen Yuan has some unexamined misogyny going on even if he’s a good guy. He reads as a little sexist at the same time that he brings up problematic elements in the writing in Proud Immortal Demon Way. This flaw feels realistic to me for a young man who reads these kinds of stallion novels and I enjoy it.

And then he jokingly dunks on himself for not having a girlfriend in his past life and is up front about the fact that he doesn’t really want one anyway. A lot of the SVSSS characters give off asexual spectrum vibes for me personally, but Shen Yuan really, REALLY gives off asexual spectrum vibes. It kind of reads to me as Shen Yuan making a joke like, “Lol, imagine what I’d be complaining about if I was the type of person to care about getting a girlfriend! ‘Oh, no! I’ve died and landed in the role of a scum villain and there’s a digital tyrant refusing to let me act out of character! How will I get a girlfriend now?!’ Priorities, am I right?”

The second bit is when Shen Yuan is at the Chen Estate in Shuang Hu City, hunting the Skinner Demon. Ning Yingying has just come to his room to ask him to escort her to the market and he has to turn her down.

At the same time, how could he not want to go out and play? Up until now, he’d been hunkered down inside Qing Jing Peak’s Bamboo House, forced to fake being an awesome master of arts and literature, meaning everything he did had to be done “blandly”: blandly speaking, blandly laughing, blandly practicing the sword, blandly being a poser - bland to the point that he often had the urge to scatter a handful of salt over his head! What a damn pain!

And now when he finally got a break to take a trip down the mountain, he was still trapped in his room because of the System’s stance that “the original Shen Qingqiu liked quiet and would be unwilling to mingle.”

Shen Qingqiu didn’t even want to pretend to meditate, so he lay on the bed, just pretending to be dead.

- SVSSS, Vol 1, Ch 2

Shen Yuan has been going stir crazy, unable to talk to anyone properly, and he just wants to be loud and undignified and enjoy himself by playing the tourist for an afternoon! He calls himself out for faking everything! He admits that he doesn’t know what he’s doing! He doesn’t like being cold and calm and collected all the time. He sounds like he’s desperate for some friendly company and a distraction from his own thoughts. He wants to be nice to people.

The OOC function won’t even let him chill and chat with people. Which is a little funny because when Luo Binghe was being bullied, Shen Yuan said, “Fuck the System!” and anonymously interfered with flying leaves because he couldn’t bear Luo Binghe’s suffering, even though it lost him a bunch of points. He got the points back, but he didn’t know that when he interfered! For all he knew then, he was bringing himself closer to a risk of death. He also later invited Binghe to ride in the carriage with him after another bullying incident and argued with the System as to why his actions weren’t out of character. If Binghe is involved and suffering, then Shen Yuan can’t help but rail against the OOC function.

Shen Yuan calls himself out for “pretending to meditate” before now (he knows he’s kind of a hack! He so lost and he’s doing his best anyway) and just... lies on the bed “pretending to be dead”??? It’s not stated whether he’s lying facedown or facing the ceiling, but it’s funny either way. Shen Yuan is so fucking done with the System’s micromanagement with the OOC function that he just sprawls on the bed for the day. He sounds so depressed.

[ghostradiodylan]

I know there has been a lot of discussion about how the Quarry characters are described, but do you think they would describe themselves any differently?

I'm so sorry Kat, I wanted to take some time to think about this and then completely forgot it was in my ask box!

This is SUCH an interesting question with lots to consider. I think this depends somewhat on who they're describing themselves to, but let's imagine it's an honest self-assessment and not, like, trying to look good on a job cover letter or college entrance essay or something like that.

Jacob - This one's tough for me because Jacob seems to sometimes believe in his own hype, but he can also see himself as kind of a loser? Like, he prances up in his undies and tells everyone "I'm here to save you!" 😂 But he also mopes and cries and has a tough time even if we don't get the 'I'm not alive, I'm nothing' sad infected boy. I think Jacob sees himself as a leader even if others don't (and some do, I mean, look at Nick). I think he'd say he's brave (and he can be! he runs off in the dark after Abi screams, for example), optimistic, fun-loving, and loyal. He might not be aware of how impulsive his actions are, though he also might be after the extra night he orchestrated goes as badly as it does.

Emma - Emma causes a lot of strife for others in this game for someone who I genuinely think means well most of the time. She's trying to manipulate her friends in ways that she believes will be good for them, but not everyone welcomes her interventions. She has a flair for the dramatic and I feel like she knows that about herself and knows that she's performing a lot of the time. I think Emma would see herself as pragmatic, goal-oriented, charming, and entertaining.

Abi - Abi's a sweet, sensitive type and she seems to know herself pretty well. She's a rule-follower and a peacemaker and while she feels awkward sometimes, I think Abi has a way of putting others at ease. I think she'd describe herself as creative, empathetic, and conscientious, but she'd also admit to being a little timid and prone to over-thinking at times.

Ryan - Ryan also sees himself as a leader, even if he sometimes has trouble getting other people on board with that view. I don't think he sees himself as a brooding loaner, though he comes off that way, but he knows he's introverted and maybe he'd call himself introspective instead. Ryan would probably see himself as humble, dependable, strong-willed, and authentic. He knows he doesn't always come across as confident, but he does stick to his guns.

Kaitlyn - To me, Kaitlyn has the least emotional development of any of the characters, and while I love what we do see of her so much, I wish we saw more of what makes her tick. Kaitlyn's a badass and she knows it, but we see glimpses of a softer side to her with Abi and Dylan that imply she's got more depth to her than she lets on. I think she'd think of herself as self-assured, level-headed, sarcastic, and (sometimes brutally) honest.

Dylan - Dylan refers to his 'blasé' persona as a 'stylish nihilist' in the cut content, but I'm not sure he totally understands what that word means. Because while Dylan can be paranoid and even a little cynical, he's also incredibly hopeful and resilient over the course of the game. I think his self-description might change a lot depending on when you ask him and what path his character takes. But as far as his core personality, I think he'd see himself as intelligent, open-minded, funny (I don't think his humor is an act, I think he just plays up that side more when he's uncomfortable), and intuitive. He's also well aware of his own insecurities. Would he admit to being a hopeless romantic too? He'd probably prefer not to, but I think he knows.

Nick - We get so little of Nick, and what we do get can be tainted a bit by the way the werewolf infection affects him, but I think Nick is very candid about the fact that he can be a bit of a follower when he's around stronger personalities. He knows he has a lot of potential, but he's not sure what he wants to do in the future. I think he'd describe himself as respectful (and he is, until the whole infection thing happens), caring, and sociable, but also unfocused or maybe even directionless.

Laura - Laura's progression over the course of the game feels kind of like if Leslie Knope became a monster-hunting vigilante. Laura seems kind of type-A and perfectionistic, like she has a whole bunch of color-coded binders at home. But she also seems to think that just because she wants something to happen (like Max going to the same grad school as her, or them getting to come to camp a night early), that it will. I think she also knows herself pretty well. Laura would say she's self-assured, ambitious, steadfast, and resilient. She might not go so far as to say headstrong, but she probably knows.

Max - Lovable Max, so silly and so sweet, but he can be a touch gloomy and pessimistic too, especially when he's been kidnapped and is dealing with a mysterious supernatural infection (hard to blame him there). Max would describe himself as easygoing (pre-canon, at least), supportive, and friendly and I think he'd absolutely also cop to being sensitive and a bit meek. He does not mind being the 'malewife' to his 'girlboss' partner at all.

[starr-finn]

Hi!!! So I got something (a request) for u :)

- Anyways, it's for Faith (John) bc as that one Tiktok comment said, 'sometimes babygirl is a 35 year old man'

- So reader isn't necessarily religious, but she comes along with John on these 'missions'(?) to make sure he doesn't go completely insane

- (This was suggested by Father Garcia, saying that it would be good to make sure that he doesn't go mad with grief or something)

- Reader is somehow SO optimistic and like a ball of sunshine all the time???

- Like she (or they idm too much) always manages to be somewhat optimistic and always focuses on the good side of things?

- Like, we almost died? Yeah, almost dude! We did it :D

- At first John finds it kind of weird but he kind of grows on it?

- At one point, John gets really down and sad about things in like, the clinic or whatever, and Reader's like 'Don't worry, we'll make it, you and me! :)'

- She just turns around (like this ig) and gives him a really warm smile and John's heart go BOOM BOOM (💀)

- And John's like 'Oh no I like them in a not platonic way ohno'

- Idk where this is going lmao 😭

AHHHHHH BESTIE YESSSSS!!!!

John Ward X Reader

Author's note: Reader is so Bubbly, it's odd in this time the game takes place. Minor angst and depictions of injury potential minor mentions of gore, reader was stabbed like 7 times, poorly written Catholicism mention again lol and very random additions to the story I made up because why not, no mention of the abortion clinic cuz that's my least favorite part lmaooooo

John had never met someone like you, You were so joyful! Sure, he thought it was funny, and oddly cute sometimes, But sometimes, the sheer joy was off-putting and sometimes uncomfortable. He didn't fully understand why you seemed so happy and cheerful in the situation you both are in together. He remembers the day Father Garcia told him it was a good idea to keep you around, claiming it was good for mental health to have someone else around to talk to in these situations. He never understood that, but he was willing to keep you around, he thought you were nice. He genuinely cared about you, so when you got attacked by a couple demons, and were left in the clinic at the base of operations you guys all set up together, John almost lost his mind, he had seen you get stabbed, and he was told by the guy they had running the clinic that if he hadn't been so careful carrying you in that you may not have made it. John was basically crying when you were put into surgery, you were bleeding so badly, and he swore he thought he could inside the wounds, He felt so gross after seeing you like that. John was pacing around outside listening to Garcia tell him it was going to be ok, and then the doctor walked out, and gave the news you were ok, and John never cried that hard in his life. He was given the ok to go in and see you, and he wasted no time. The sight of you laying on a stiff, uncomfortable bed, looking tired and defeated, while also smiling at him, made his heart feel a way he hadn't felt since he married his ex-wife, he knew the feeling too well, but he never expected he'd feel it for you of all people.

John walks over and sits beside you "How are you feeling?" He seemed scared, but happy, and you had a feeling you knew why

You smile and gently brush his hair back "Like hell...but hey, that's better than what I felt earlier!"

John chuckles and ruffles your hair softly "You're so strong..."

You smile and lean closer to him, closing your eyes and falling asleep. John blushes a bit and smiles, he felt he would never come to terms with the way he felt about you, but, he knew he would protect you with his life, even if it meant losing it. To him, you were a gift from a god he had been losing belief in, a god he worried forgot him. You were special to him, and he never wanted to lose you. He stayed sitting beside you for a couple hours until he was forced to leave, but it became routine, he'd stay with you for hours until you were cleared to leave, and while you felt it was a bit odd, you were happy to have him close, and he was happy you were ok

[system-of-a-feather]

I'm glad you're going hogwild on Bleach rn. It was also a major part of our childhood and development, and I feel like there's still a ton to get out of it, even from an older perspective. (Not trying to sound uppity or anything, I really love Bleach.)

What do you think about the idea of Ichigo as a CDD allegory? I don't think he was written with that in mind, but reading through the manga, there are a lot of scenes that make me go "hmMMMMMM."

(Never watched the anime, lol. Manga-only)

Funny you should ask that question. I have actually already made a very important post on the topic of Ichigo as a CDD allegory. /hj

Honestly though, I think its one of my favorite "not intentionally a CDD but very relatable as someone with a CDD". Like I'd have to get further into TYBW and later cause I know they expand and drop some lore secrets about the dynamic of the part (I was gonna edit that to be more accurate to the world context of Bleach but I felt that term is telling about how I feel about the allegory XD) that make up Ichigo's soul and shit.

I know a lot of what is revealed because as good as I obstained from a lot of spoilers, I actually heard a rumor that Hollow Ichigo isn't seen after the Aizen-Karakura town arc and I was so distraught at that that I let it be something I got spoiled on before it was announced that it would continue. At the time, I thought it upset me cause I thought the hollow stuff was cool, but that reasoning didn't really make sense to me because I was actually like *sad* in a "no thats not fair or right, hollow ichigo deserves to live too" which in hindsight, I realize was probably some not-entirely subconscious "no don't just delete and erase the existance of a part of yourself!!! You should make friends with them and make them your best ally!!! I want to see more HIchi and Ichigo interact ;w;"

and also

like

lowkey I had a Hollow Ichigo introject in my head that I didn't know about for the longest time so it was probably pretty personal

But personal shit aside, I honestly really do like it. I mean to some level - especially early in the series - its a lot of "oooooh spooky evil alter" vibes, but honest to god - and this is a controversial opinion - I think we need more nuanced "evil" alter representation rather than the elimination of the "evil alter" trope because shitty asshole alters exist and are actually common and I think its a lot more meaningful to show how two completely conflicting and otherwise aggressive towards eachother individuals can find a middle ground and empower eachother. Which is what Bleach does particularly with Ichigo and his hollow self and UNIRONICALLY the whole Bleach arc Ichigo has with his hollow self is incredibly similar to the "arc" that XIV and I had which, go figure. Me the Shounen Boy Optimist protagonist and a literal hollow ichigo introject had a similar arc to the Shounen Protagonist and Hollow ichigo. Do you see the shock in my voice?

Honestly if I have time and feel like it (unlikely since I don't often have time) I might put a longer opinion / discussion on it, but honestly, even outside of Ichigo, I think the way Bleach handles Zanpaktous and even stuff like Lillynette and Stark is just a really fun way to have a lot of plural / CDD adjacent themes and vibes without necessarily even being an allegory.

The idea of being able to have a manifestation of your soul and the power it has take a sentient form and the bonding, communication, and collaboration with said manifestation being the key to increased power and skill development is just??? The coolest thing?

Honestly I think Bleach has subconsciously informed a lot of how our system is structured and interacts in more ways than we are probably cognitively currently aware of and I think to some good level that whole just general vibe probably plays a role in it somewhere.

But man, I love this show. I honestly am genuinely thinking of returning to my natural autistic instincts and just chronically watching it whenever I dont have anything else to watch because I really DONT need to have a variety of shows to watch and honestly if something aint broke, why ever change it /hj

I can have a comfort anime smh

[rosewoodconch]

RWCH Readathon 2024: Day 10

Undercover Princess - Chapter 27

Im exhausted from work so these mught eb short and shitty

They really dont explain it properly

Ellies right about priscilla

I love the electrifyingness being brought up again

I wanna see jamie jump...

OH MY GOD WAIT THATS SO FUNNY

Im so sad for ellie. Her rumours are horrific and i wanna hug her

But on the other hand lottie has so many points

Like

Maybe trust is important

And he did save her

And also ellies reputation sucks, maybe his was the same

Like the assumptions

But love of your life is a bit far

Thats ellie. Not edmund

Jamie needs to calm down i swear he wasnt this intense before

But hes right obviously

She is putting ellie at risk

Like he didnt have to say shes childish and silly though

Cmon man thats awful

Yes ellie. Tell him

I really like how ellie handles this

She takes it seriously, and she tells lottie its okay to be optimistic, but she also tries to get through to lottie

Jamie cant shout at lottie

ROYAL ORDER

I love her

Shes so funny

But also oh my god imagine being at the whim of the royal orders of a 15 year old girl

Like genuinely

He needs so much therapy

Homework! Woah they really are students huh

American readers did they change that last bit from sleeping pills? What to?

One fown, two to go!

But really though they sprinkle in the seriousness of Jamies position but sont really address it until mucg later and its fum to reread knowing everyhting

[enbyleighlines]

Leigh plays Tellius prt 6

It's time for the 4-part exp extravaganza that is Day Breaks!

I love how they imply that Soren's heritage gave him pro navigation abilities. Sure, Micaiah gets to see the future, read minds, and heal mortal wounds, but hey! At least Soren doesn't have to worry about getting lost.

I present this without comment.

I'm kind of sad that this forbidden bird magic never gets brought up again. All we know is that it's a song called the Dirge of Ruin. I imagine it's like a magic nuke of some sort? But sadly, we shall never know for sure.

This was the SECOND TIME I had to restart because of Ilyana. And look, I'm not foolish enough to rely on Shade, but twice I accidentally left Ilyana in the danger zone, and both times I was like well maybe she'll be okay. Shade has to trigger sometimes, right?

The answer is no. It never triggers. Shame on me for hoping.

I know what Ike means, but out of context, this line is so funny.

Also, for those of you who are wondering, this is Ike's reaction every time someone tries to set him up on a date.

Is this an unpopular opinion? Maybe it is. But I genuinely love Boyd's stupid Viking helmet and high fur collar. Also that custom-made axe? I named it Throwd.

That was a low blow, Boyd. I love how unamused Mist looks. She already knows he's about to say some dumb shit. I love Boyd, but he does have terminal foot-in-mouth disease, and he 100% deserved the smiting he got from Mist here.

Ike's growing exasperation with Oliver during this scene is so damn funny. I wish I had gotten the satisfaction of killing him, but unfortunately, Janaff swooped in to land the finishing blow before I could even get most of my units over the middle swamp.

I love Ike's genuine wonder during this scene. It's a nice callback to the base conversation with Devdan, where Devdan lectures Ike about slowing down to appreciate the simple pleasures of life, so that he doesn't get burnt out before the war even begins. Ike is a character who ultimately fights for the world and the people in it, because he genuinely cares. He's far from naive or optimistic, but his capacity for love, admiration, and respect for life is so wholesome. The horrors of war and the loss of his father initially makes this difficult for him, as he loses sight of anything but revenge, but Ike's journey is about ultimately remaining true to his character, even as he grows and matures.

I love how Sanaki phrases this: "You will resign yourself." It's clear to her that this is the last thing Ike wants, and doesn't bother to convince him that it's an honor.

Oh, Ike. Even as he resigns himself to receiving peerage, he cannot help but make his disdain for nobility crystal clear. This is another aspect of Ike I love so much. He absolutely despises the upper class, and he does not once try to hide it.

And that's the end of Day Breaks! I managed to get most of my A-team into second tier. I'll probably include an update of everybody's stats in the next post, since this is the halfway point of the game, and I want to get a sense of how close I am to achieving the goals that I set in the beginning.

[you-can-be-what-you-want-to-be]

Alright then smarty pants what kind of weird niche of characters do YOU love?

Oh far weirder

fucked up guys with bats see

1 the batter from off

2 little slugger

3 any angery woman

any coward character (dustfinger, Douglas Effiel, ect)

sentient landscapes. Is it a town, a spaceship ai, and haunted house? Does not matter I love them

this is less of a love more of an annoyance of tropes but hate the whole thing with parasite characters that want a body being treated as evil. Bestie you want your body too?

anyone who is at least a little unsettling or outright creepy but in a fun happy autistic way (RAT ARCHIVE 81 MY BELOVED, L death note, mob psycho sometimes, mister teatime from discworld)

Class clown with bpd or something similar and trauma, makes references to voices in head (Hawkeye, Eiffel again, sometimes Juno Steele but he isn’t intentionally funny enough for this maybe)

any mute character I almost always fall in love with immediately no questions asked. Love me a mute character

NARRATIVES. The thing controlling them or people who are in them and know it. Narrator from Stanley parable, sans undertale, David Ward of Eskew, literally if you break that fourth wall and make it a little sad I WILL go feral.

give that bad boy parentification issues. Not parental abuse, parentification. (Martin Blackwood, Dean Winchester, ect)

Bad ass pushover who grows out of being a push over (David 7, Guillermo de la Cruz, Martin again-)

Any baby monster. No I don’t just mean Frankensteins where he legit did very little wrong and just needed love though he is included, I’m talking I watched Vivarium and saw that little coocoonest child destroy those peoples lives as part of a long chain of doing that and went “well maybe raise him better”. This also applies to species that are grown but are new to humanity and commit atrocious by accident.

characters who have so much love in them. Not necessarily babyish optimistic characters, but characters that will stop on a walk to check out the plant coming out of it and tells people openly that they love them and that’s their whole thing. Thinking Nona the ninth and Hawkeye Pierce again. Also Henry Oak Garcia

Any character that’s chill with death. Not suicidal, they just genuinely do not mind dying and see it as a very natural, easy, if not upsetting part of life when it happens to them ((still are against other people dying they are simply not scared of doing so (do not get me started on the graveyard book do not I am loosing my mind) thinking of Nona again also leave me alone))

my interests are very very specific but also I am very basic and will automatically eat this out of the palm of your hand if given to me

[mejomonster]

Unrelated but one show where I absolutely Was invested in all the straight romance was Ice Fantasy! Maybe one day I'd give Pillow Book a try, like I gave Eternal Love a try (with mixed results), and Till The End of The Moon definitely invested me a bit. But its Ice Fantasy for me above all others as far as the guy/girl xianxia romances go. (And no we are not counting Love and Redemption cause that's a queer relationship, and not counting Love Between Fairy and Devil because while I Do love it... it's mostly just the main couple for me, like how Eternal Love was mostly the side couple for me).

Ice Fantasy just absolutely fulfilled my ideal tropes when it came to so many characters (and I can get picky) and so many romances. It didn't even matter i had no queer lens ships (although that is a past time of mine lol: to look at cdramas and optimistically read everything as queer as I possibly can.... in my defense Eternal Love is fairly explicitly actually queer with a gay uncle and 2 bi demons, and Love and Redemption is Really Queer, so).

Ice Fantasy has:

Wang Duo playing an absolute delight of a himbo who is engaged to a girl he doesn't like for political reasons his dad set up, and falls for the girls cutthroat talented sword wielding sister. Said sister is cold and only wants her sister happy, a genuine triangle ensues where really everyone just wants everyone to be happy. Wang Duo is a fucking delight as this sweetie.

The lead love interest prince from Jade Palace Lock Heart plays Ka Suo, prince of the Ice Kingdom and son to a very fucked up father. He falls for the Guardian of the boundary between his immortal Ice Kingdom realm and the human one, and the Guardian is basically Zhao Yunlan-Kunlun in woman form. She's badass, and forward, heroic, she saves him, she teaches him the wonders of being human, she doesn't want to ruin his life and just wants to help him be a good future King, and she's mortal. The kind of Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan fluff and angst ensues, and it's a delight there is a girl as raunchy and kickass as Zhao Yunlan on the scene. Their first drinking scene together is beyond cute, she's one of my favorite characters in the show.

We've got my man Ma Tianyou as the younger brother to Ka Suo, Ying Kong Shi. He is a sweet younger brother who just wants to help his brother too. And his brother wants to not be like their absolute horror of a dad, does not love the awful burden of that bullshit and impending war and not getting to be with his mortal love, and living through that war starting (with his dad making his little brother the scapegoat) so. Ying Kong Shi has his work cut out for him trying to help Ka Suo. Along the way, Ying Kong Shi becomes "mortal" for a while, gets kidnapped by the Fire Kingdom Princess (which his country is at war with) and becomes her slave. She becomes intensely enamoured with him and honestly he becomes her best friend. The dynamic of that portion alone is SO fucking funny, intense, sad, cute, sexy, complicated, you name it. He eventually betrays her, as he must, to return to his kingdom. From then on they're on opposite sides, but with a soft spot for their former friend. Possibly my favorite ship on the show.

Not a romantic relationship, but the relationship with Ka Suo and Ying Kong Shi is also SO much what Shen Wei and Ye Zun could be in a longer story, especially when Ying Kong Shi goes supernova and burns a bunch of people alive, which is absolutely the kind of brothers fucked over by life dynamic I eat up.

Ying Kong Shis mom is a mermaid concubine who is played by the absolute babe who starred with the pink hair in the kdrama Tomorrow. She's shady af in this show, betraying and plotting and using others. But considering her ex was the Fire King, asshole extraordinare, and her husband is the Ice King absolute jerk of a motherfucker? I kind of get it. And her actress makes any scene she's in utterly compelling, you love to hate her character. All her relationships are utterly fucked up, and boy were they compelling to me.

You have mermaid princess girl who genuinely just wants a normal fairytale relationship, which is actually what society would like her to have in this kind of world. She wants to marry Ka Suo, be loved, and be happy. Ka Suo however does NOT want to be dragged into political immortal marriage, he's in love with his human Guardian Li Luo. So as you can imagine, shit hits the fan in a major way for our mermaid princess. And I love a messy time so.

There's a Mortal (with powers) princess with an eagle man (yao? I'm not clear it's been a while since watching) as her loyal servant/second in command. Who absolutely loves her like a knight loves their queen. As far as traditional romances go, I'm a sap for a man who's in awe of his woman and trying to help her (The Secret of the Three Kingdoms reallyyyy appeals to me with the Empress as puppetmaster and fake Emperor as her tool tbh as a premise, or the Olivia Wang and Wang Duos characters in Yin Yang Master is another good example of this). They're a very cute side couple and it's pretty much impossible for me not to root for them.

The entire family dynamics within the Ice Kingdom and Fire Kingdom is also exactly my kind of thing. In the fire Kingdom, the fire princess deals with sexism (interesting choice in a xianxia to delve into) despite being the best leader for her family and country and genuinely loving both, her brother who's in a way in her shadow for being less good and in his father's egotistical shadow, and her father who's a piece of shit (a la Eternal Love's demon king) but unlike demon/Heavenly traditional xianxia? The ice king is equally absolute shit and just as guilty, for once. So I guess all powerful leaders are all shit huh. Good thing the next generation is a bit more caring (also! If you like progressive advancement anime style stories, this show very much follows that kind of pacing and arc). The ice Kingdom features an older brother with the world on his shoulders, a half brother who's also half (something likely enemy to ice nation I tell you that) something else and absolutely his dad's and their country's punching bag and scapegoat (they full on try to kill Kong Shi as a kid), his brothers mom is evil and up to her own shit, his own mom isn't the ideal ally to Ka Suo either, and his dad? His dad might as well be singlehandedly ruining Ka Suos life, trying to kill his brother, and getting the nation into a war. Phenomenal. I love the mess that is the political plot what can I say.

Anyway. As if that's all not enough? Ice Fantasy season 2 is set in the modern world but still with xianxia magic, which if you know me is the kind of thing I absolutely love. (See: Rattan, Guardian, Fairyland Lovers).

[cubicle-thoughts]

I binged all of the Attack on Titan anime in 7 days (May 18-24, 2024). I'm left feeling philosophical and existencial. The fans who went through 10 years of emotional attachment while I just breezed through them in a week, makes me feel like I missed out....

I missed out on not just being a part of the community during it's peak, but I feel like binging them left me little room to process my emotions of the series as I jumped from one plot to the next. I gobbled up the episodes like a mindless Titan and only halted when I was working. Only in Hange's death did I feel like taking a genuine break from watching.

While processing the emotions, I realized "huh, I must've really loved her character". I barely shed a tear but I made a sad face which was more than the reaction I had for Erwin's death. Speaking of his death, I didn't "feel" it when he was dead dead, I felt it when Levi made the decision to make it permanent. So I was more sad for Levi upon Erwin's death.

I had to rewatch her death scene via a clip on Youtube because I wanted to "feel" it again. It still hurts especially her afterlife scene. Erwin always being at the front of her and Levi's imagination when looking back to their fallen comrades, never fails to add more emotions. To cheer myself up I rewatched the video of a Hange cosplayer dancing to "talk dirty to me" hahaha iykyk. I won't watch her death scene ever again. I can't.

It's funny because that was the first ever scene I decided to watch a few years ago. It was a clip recommended on youtube. I never watched clips of the anime when it on-going. I put off watching the anime until it was completed because I thought to myself "I can't possibly suffer the waiting period in between seasons if the show was good". I don't know why I decided to break my rule just for this one clip. And looking back, I don't think I even understood why it was called her death scene because she looked so peaceful (note: it was out of context for me and I didn't know Erwin was dead). And it's funny because the me from the past didn't know it would affect me in a big way today.

-----

I never spoiled myself of plot points. I didn't know the ending but was very hopeful that it would be a happy one. Every character death left me thinking "it's okay, the ending's gonna be happy". Like a mantra to keep me optimistic. I read somewhere that Eren could travel back in time (but I didn't read further on how he could) so I was hoping that during the last few episodes, any time now, Eren will find the "happy ending" and go back in time to prevent the war. I much preferred he had altered the timeline where most of his friends never met if it meant that all of them led happy lives because I know Armin and Mikasa would still be with him. If not him, I was also hoping Ymir would instead. Changing her fate by letting the King die and maybe, the outcome would be happier (we'll never know).

But the thing is Eren did find the happy ending...for everyone else that is. I just wanted one where he got it too. Not an ending where Mikasa has 10 years of emotional baggage. God damn it.

A lot of comments/critiques say Eren's choices were done with free will but I'm left thinking that it doesn't seem that way. He chained himself to the only outcome where everyone is free from the titan curse. Feels like he was forced down this path...I guess because he wasn't selfish.

Arghh it would've been easier for me to process if his reason was simply "I want to do this for everyone's sake". At first, I thought his reason was because "protect Eldia, massacre everyone else" then it was "the outside world isn't filled with only flowers so I'll till the land myself and make it so". I think I'll revisit the ending in the future and maybe I'll finally come to my own conclusion.

-----

I binged the show on Netflix and I later found out that they altered the ending. For one, they played Call of Silence during the scene where Mikasa sat beside Eren's grave. After that it cuts to The End card. This ending felt a lot more sentimental both to the character and to the fans. However there was a post credits scene Netflix didn't include (in my region's version as far as I know) where the ending was...a lot more hopeless. Depicting a future where the cycle of war in Eldia never ends and Eren's efforts may not have changed anything. Because his grave is the next mysterious tree that may be holding the parasite that gives the Power of the Titans.

Anyway, I'm wondering if Mikasa married years down the line. The man she was with looks like Jean to me because it can't be Armin. Personally I hope she stayed single because she defied Eren's words asking her to move on just like how she never discarded the red scarf. It's still possible she married though because I caught a glimpse of a ring on her hand in-between the flowers. But married or not, both paths are bittersweet because she clearly never got over Eren and was even buried(?) on the same tree.

-----

Arghhh what a rollercoaster. I'm going to let these feelings simmer for awhile and won't be watching another anime for the next 7 days at least. I find myself watching analysis videos of the ending and random clips. Probably might read some fanfics too because I really want some ErenxMikasa romance, lord knows we only got crumbs in canon.

The show finished airing in November 2023 but it felt like it had been 2 years. I wonder what Isayama is going to do next.

I started watching the series on a whim and ended with eMOtional damage.

[fear-tear]

Ten years ago, a not so funny story about me joining a Sonic Community for the first time

I should have known it wasn't a good idea.

Picture this: a "naive" young man who watched every Sonic game and every cutscene on youtube, a young man who enjoyed everything he saw, who didn't know about the people working behind it, who never saw the drastic change in character between Sonic and the Black Knight and Sonic Colors.

Ten years ago, Sonic Lost World came out.

That was the first time I ever saw Sonic showing emotions. Look at him, look at the poor hedgehog in the darkest moment of his life:

This scene right here actually made me cry. Like a freaking baby.

I was caught in a Sonic hyperfixation so severe I HAD to share my thoughts with someone else. What better place than a Sonic dedicated forum, right?

...yeah.

It was an Italian forum, so everything I'm about to quote is translated by myself the best I can.

So, I joined in for about a single day, and there was a thread named "(THE CHARACTER) Sonic the Hedgehog", and the opening post saying "What do you think about this character? What do you like or dislike about him?"

Many users said their own opinion, so I decided to share my pure genuine feelings with them. Here is my poem (a bit cringe nowadays, but I was absolutely sincere):

Only a month ago, for me Sonic was "simply" a great friend to spend time with, a hero moved by a beautiful mindset, to admire and to take example from.

But, you see, to this day I always looked at Sonic through the eyes of his friends. I put myself in the shoes of Tails, Blase, Chip. Shahra, in all those who met him and thanks to him they change their view on life for the better.

But Sonic, by himself, how is he exactly? What is in his mind? What does he do when he's all alone, in desperate situations? Does he still play the part of the brave and optimistic hero, to the point of being close to perfection?

NO.

Take his friends from him. Take his world from him. Take his reason for keep on fighting evil, take everything he LIVES FOR.

And you'll find out that Sonic is just a normal person. A person capable of experiencing human feelings. A person capable of being SAD.

I don't remember the last time I projected myself into a character like I'm doing with Sonic. I felt his loneliness, I felt his desperate desire to have someone to talk to, I cried for him.

And I realized that Sonic is, excuse me for repeating myself, a very normal person.

A person like us.

A special person.

...so. After I poured my heart and soul into this declaration of Sonic-ness, I expected at best a reply saying "nice post, it's obvious you adore Sonic!" or something like that.

But, no.

The reply I got was a flat, detatching reality check from none other than THE ADMINISTRATOR of the forum. Here it is:

If youn like the "human" side of Sonic, then forget about the videogames and go read the comics... The best of Sonic's personality is right there. SEGA has no idea how to use Sonic as a character... He almost feels nothing!

In the comic, you can see him cry, get angry, go nuts, and be an asshole.

At the end of the day, Sonic's reaction in Lost World, was already seen years ago in the Archie comics^^

Wow. What a way to welcome a newcomer in your community.

I could have accepted the suggestion better if they said "I suggest you to also check the comics", but to tell me to completely "forgot about the videogames" was kinda distasteful...

[skinnymeanfaggot]

oh shit i just saw you reblogged the post with the numbers ill send some of those too. 22 and 23 for javier, 9 and 12 for anim, and 29 and 37 for zora?

22. i think javier likes a lot of things about a lot of people, hes very like Humans are good and he likes how little things can make people happy, he likes people who are happy and optimistic in spite of life. he can totally understand why people Would be jaded but he just does like a lot when people are able to see the good in things. he likes animals, he likes people who like animals. he likes people who are funny but not super mean about it

23. as a therapist and also as, a decent person javier can understand having a lack of empathy but what really gets him is just the callous disrespect and harm to other humans. like in his mind theres no (very few) reasons to hurt others. just like! be nice to people. try to be good to others. make the world a better place.other than morality i think like, its hard for him to actively dislike a person, or like. he tries to repress his dislike for stuff because he believes its not important and tries to see the benefit of the doubt and hes probably just overreacting and blah blah.

but just like people who are super full of themselves and look down upon other people annoy him (anim). people who are purposefully spiteful and rude annoy him (anim). if youre an abuser he will kill you, unless you abused him, in which he will be sad but he cant really hate people who hurt him because he has issues. if you hurt someone else he will be furious but if youre bad to him he will be like hey :( and dislike the treatment but chances are he will make excuses and find a way to like you anyways.

9. yes! growing up anim lived in a like, mid, slightly mid lower? class household? they were fine but there were 6 of them. they would get hand-me-downs not because their family couldnt afford new stuff but just, you have two older brothers. it makes sense.

as an adult they went from, having Literally nothing for a brief time, then poor, and now like, very comfortable. just flat out rich. they get paid WELL by zora and they will flaunt the fuck out of it. a lot of why they work for her is the manipulation/feeling indebted/feeling like theres nothing else they can do, but like. they totally stick around for the pay. they like it. very very easy to forget your morals when you get a LOT of money for the murderings

12. bold to assume theyre ever calm. jk definitely it would be times with javier or kylin, because javier makes them feel genuinely safe and with kylin they love her and have fun with her so its hard to be anxious. unless shes like doing wild teenage shit

29. i never really ever to this day defined what zoras current "job" is besides something something probably a politician something something mob boss/underworld criminal. and she inherited that from her mom and a part of it was "my moms cool i wanna be like her" but like? as a kid? if she never got into that? like if her mom was different? can honestly see her as an artsy type. like creator of or connoisseur of fine arts. maybe a writer or poet. i just picture her as the same type of lesbian woman in pitch black but instead of being evil shes attending art shows or something

37. this is tough... i think like, she would recognize that maybe shes not "honorable" due to the horrors. like she fully believes shes in the right and has done nothing wrong ever. but in any case i think she prioritizes status. again she doesnt Entirely recognize that shes the villain but if she did she would be ok with it.

[lunarticxenia]

Moon Signs Pt. 2

Hi guys here’s part 2 of the moon sign series! After I post this, I’m going to be focusing more on answering your questions, I have a lot to answer. Thanks so much for all the support! Without further ado, here’s Libra through Pisces moons! 

🌵Libra Moon: You guys LOVE attention, and you don’t even try to hide it LMAO. One of my good friends is a Libra moon and he literally loves to say outlandish things just to get a reaction from us and to get attention from us if we’re not talking to him enough in a conversation. Libra moons also love relationships and if underdeveloped they may feel incomplete without one. They can also be very dependent on their partner for happiness as well. However, they are romantic and in love with love. They’re also extremely sensitive and are very feminine. Even in men, it gives them a more feminine touch to their personality. They also hold their morals in very high regard. They have their set morals and won’t change them for anything or anyone. They also tend to hate conflict and usually shy away from confrontation. They’re also too nice, WAYYYYYY too nice. You guys need to be more assertive LMAO. They’re also extremely optimistic and if they don’t believe in that particular way they at least try to be optimistic with others. They’re always reminding you the glass is half full. Also, Libra moons are mad clingy. Even with those they’re not dating LMAO. My Libra moon friend whenever I try to leave the FaceTime Call, he’s like “Don’t go... :(”. They just love to be around the ones they love. They’re also in love with beauty, and all things beautiful in the world. They’re lovers of music, art, film, and literature. Libra moons also have a softness in their eyes, I can’t describe it. This girl I used to like has a Libra moon and her eyes were just so soft. They’re also extremely indecisive, they tend to flip flop between who they wanna be and what they wanna do. They also aren’t shy when it comes to compliments, they will compliment TF out of you. They’re the best hype man. They also put others before themselves a lot, and can be very shy upon first meeting them. However once they feel comfortable around you they open up. One last thing, I feel like they tend to like anyone who’s nice to them...don’t attack me. LMAO.  

🌵Scorpio Moon: I feel like Scorpio moons have about ten different playlists relating to their emotions and still won’t open up to anyone about how they feel. Scorpio moons I feel have such intense emotions that they just don’t deal with them and they tend to implode after a while. I relate to them a lot in that respect tbh with my Sun square Moon, because that’s how I am. You guys are also super passionate and super creative. Every Scorpio moon I’ve met has been really creative in some way whether it be makeup, fashion style, or artwork. I’ve also noticed that this is a very alluring placement, there’s this intriguing way about them, and like Aries Moons, they have a fire in their eyes. Their gaze is INTENSE. They’re also very selective with who they let close to them, they don’t let just anybody in. They’re also very good at reading other people and seeing people’s true intentions. They have an extremely good intuition. If underdeveloped this can be used to manipulate other people, as well as being compulsive liars. Scorpio moons are also very protective over the ones they love. If you mess with anyone they care about, they will kill you. End of story. Also I feel like every Scorpio moon I’ve met has been through the wringer, like they’ve really had some hard experiences, it’s so sad to me. Scorpio moons are also extremely stubborn, remember this is a fixed sign. Scorpio moons ain’t playing, once they’ve settled on something, they’re not budging. Also, can we just say, masters at investigating people. These are the friends you want stalking your ex’s social media. They will find out everything. They’re also really good psychologists as well, almost all the Scorpio moons I’ve met are actually Psychology majors LMAO. They’re very good at finding the root causes of people’s issues. I also feel like Scorpio moons undergo a lot of transformations in their lives. I’ve known a Scorpio moon for about 10 years now and he’s undergone so many different transformations in his life. Mentally and physically. They’re also extremely sarcastic and have a tendency to be pessimistic. They’re also mad scary when angry. I’ve seen them angry before, as an Aries moon, even I get a little scared.... love y’all tho. 

🌵Sagittarius Moon: The funniest people ever. Sagittarius moons always have me laughing my ass off. Their sense of humor is very diverse. They tend to stick with sarcasm and like to say outlandish things to make people laugh. Also, I feel like Sagittarius moons tend to go for science/math oriented careers or at least have an interest in those subjects. I know four Sag moons, and they’re all in STEM it’s actually crazy. They’re also extremely blunt and honest, especially when it comes to people they don’t like LMAO. They make it very clear when they don’t like someone, it’s so funny. They’re also just so much fun, like they’re genuinely so much fun to hang out with. I feel like I’ve never not had a good time hanging out with a Sagittarius moon. I feel like Sag moons however tend to struggle with asserting themselves a lot of times, until they get really fed up.  They’re very much go with the flow kinda people, and this can be to their detriment especially with the ones they love, they don’t wanna rock the boat. However, they also make really good mediators and are good at settling arguments. They also really like to travel, and likely have traveled a lot. All the Sagittarius moons I know have traveled to at least 4+ countries. They love traveling the world, and I’ve also noticed move or want to move far away from their childhood home. They wanna explore everything the world has to offer. My cousin who’s a Sag moon left her parents’ house to move a few states away and my other friend who’s a Sag moon wants to move to the other side of the country. These individuals also tend to like foreign culture as well. I’ve noticed Sagittarius moons tend to like foreign music or foreign tv shows. I feel like they also tend to ignore their emotions when they get sad and just don’t like to deal with their emotions. They also don’t like to talk about how they feel and will brush sad things off because it’s just too upsetting for them. However, once the emotions boil over, just like their anger, they will blow up LMAO. I’ve also noticed that they’re really good at teaching people things? Like my Sag moon friend explained this Chemistry equation to me I couldn’t understand and I got it after 10 minutes. Natural teachers. 

🌵 Capricorn Moon: Guys, it’s okay to open up. You don’t have to pretend to be so strong all the time, you’re not weak for showing your emotions. Anyway, Cap moons have high expectations for people, and will not tolerate any bs from people. I seriously commend them for that. I feel like Cap moons struggle with how their points are being expressed, they can say one thing, but it’s seen as something else. While Capricorn moons may struggle with expressing their emotions, I haven’t found them to be closed off or cold when meeting them. Every Capricorn moon I’ve met has warmed up to me very quickly and have been super nice. I feel like they’re very friendly and once they have a conversation with you they’re really warm and kind. Also, they’re not afraid of anything?? Except for showing their feelings maybe. But like, they’re so open to trying new things like scary rollercoasters and aren’t afraid to fight for themselves if they have to. Also, super fucking ambitious. I wish I could be ambitious. These people will really have like three jobs, be in school, and tend to household responsibilities. I don’t know how you guys do it. Now everyone says Capricorn moons are just analytical and systematic when confronted with conflict, and I personally haven’t found that to be true. If they feel wronged?? Nah. They’re not going to be systematic or logical or anything. They will go off. As for personal challenges, yes they’ll be more analytical. But I feel like everyone boils down Cap moons to emotionless and machine-like nerds, which I find to be very untrue. Capricorn moons are very soft once they’re vulnerable with you, and genuinely feel like they’re bothering people when they show their emotions and feel weak for showing them. Also I’ve noticed that their mom is a big motivator for their success. Their moms always push them to do their best in work and school. If poorly aspected, they could feel too pressured by their moms to do well. Also, they’re so underrated for being funny. They have a really dry sense of humor and it’s well developed. I also feel like they get overlooked for putting others before themselves, when it comes to the people they love they’ll do anything for them. Brb gonna go give my Cap moon friends a hug. 

🌵Aquarius Moon: You guys are just so unique. There’s something unique about each and every Aquarius moon, whether it’s a quirk or a hobby. These people are literally the best to talk to. It’s so easy to have a conversation with them, they really can talk about anything. I’ve also noticed that Aquarius moons tend to be interested in astrology and tarot and things of that kind. Every Aquarius moon I’ve met has been really interested in it, and even involved in it. I feel like they also have big dreams, and have big plans for themselves. Aquarius moons also love to get lost in their music and tend to use it as an escape. This can be a problem because they tend to avoid dealing with their feelings. They also go between reacting to things really heavily vs not reacting at all. It just seems like it goes back and forth. They speak up with things are unjust however only to their friends or online. They just don’t like to deal with face to face conflict in that regard. They also give really great advice. My best friend is an Aquarius moon and she always gives me the best advice. She knows me better than I know myself tbh. I feel like Aquarius moons relish in being unique LMAO. I’m 99% sure they had an “I’m not like other girls” phase. I feel like this placement always tends to space out and daydream a lot. They also aren’t the types to just lash out at people, their anger is more subtle (unless they have other placements of course). I feel like Aquarius moons also have a lot of friends but they tend to have a small group of friends that they tend to be super super close with. They’re also...really charming? I don’t know what it is, but like every single one I’ve met has been really charming and likable. They also have a really goofy sense of humor and love to do wild shit to make people laugh. I feel like some downsides of Aquarius moons are that they tend to be too analytical and rationalize things too much, and they inadvertently invalidate other people’s feelings. Aquarius moons are also super open minded to all opinions. I have a friend who I tend to disagree with on certain issues but they’ve always been open to hearing my opinion. They also love to travel too. I’ve noticed that as well. 

🌵Pisces Moon: To think, I was almost one of you guys. No seriously I almost was, if I were born four hours earlier I would’ve been a Pisces moon LMAO. Anyhoo, Pisces moons are just so sweet. I don’t know how else to start, they literally are the sweetest people and give off this mystical type of aura. They’re very otherworldly. Also, these people daydream 24/7. They put Aquarius moons to shame in daydreaming. This girl I like is a Pisces moon and I always catch her daydreaming LMAO. They’re also extremely sensitive too and feel things so deeply. They try to hide how they feel from people, but you can see it in their eyes. I can always tell when my Pisces moon friend is upset just by the look in her eyes. They also tend to be introverted and it takes a while for them to warm up to someone. My co-worker is a Pisces moon and it took 2 weeks for her to finally start talking to me LMAO. They also have really vivid and wild dreams too. I feel like my Pisces moon friend is always telling me about some wild dream they had like that they were in a castle or in an ocean. They also can be really moody, they can be fine one second and then get really sad out of nowhere. Their emotions are like the ocean. I feel like another downside of Pisces Moons are that they can be very manipulative however this is really with any underdeveloped water moon/sun placement. I also feel like they tend to be escapists a lot. They don’t like to deal with reality a lot, and they see the best in everything and everyone even if it’s to their demise. They’re also super friendly and are nice to everyone they meet, even if they’re reserved they’re still very sweet. They’re also extremely creative too, I feel like every Pisces moon I’ve ever met has some sort of creative hobby. My co-worker who’s a Pisces moon is working on becoming a photographer and her stuff is AMAZING. I think that’s because they see the best in the world and the beauty in everything; and they know how to show that in their work so others can see the world like they do. They’re also super empathetic and are really good listeners. You can talk to them about anything and feel understood. :) 

So this wraps up my moon sign series! I hope you guys liked it! Again, don’t take offense these are just my opinions on each moon sign! Hope you guys enjoyed, and if you don’t see your moon sign here it’s likely in part one. 

[permian-tropos]

also having read through daniil’s dialogue with lara in classic for extra lore and tidbits regarding lara 

- they are such good fucking friends it makes me kinda cry that all most people know is memeing on “you are broken, lara” because HE’S SO NICE TO HER MOST OF THE TIME it’s genuinely one of the most sincere friendships in his entire route

- THAT LINE IS MISTRANSLATED TOO BC OF COURSE IT IS, he says something more like “your spirit is broken/crushed” and the context in the conversation is important. it’s on the day right before the inquisitor arrives, and lara says she feels something terrible will happen to daniil (aka worrying he’s going to fail and be executed) so he’s like “you’re just getting bad vibes bc you’re a doomer” and then later that day she offers to hand herself in as the carrier to save him!! so like yes he was picking up severe doomer vibes from her because he cares about her bc theyre friends! not because he’s mean and dismissive of her problems 

- daniil & lara in classic feel so much more authentically close than artemy & lara in p2. I know it’s partly bc daniil is being gay (”we’re not husband and wife lara”) and keeping things platonic while lara is tsundere at p2 artemy but like. I just think there’s this genuine sense of camaraderie in classic. lara wants to work hard to help the town, and guess what, so does daniil, and they keep trying to take on each other’s burdens. thats a really nice bond

- lara telling daniil that he and artemy would be good friends lmao she would be so scandalously excited to hear about them being in a relationship

- “I need a pistol. And it must come with bullets... or whatever it is that they shoot.” “Oh my. Yes, it's bullets.” they are so funny help

- “I'm so glad nothing bad happened to you yesterday...” “And nothing ever will, don't worry.” and also “We're still alive... how very strange.” “We are-and we'll keep on going. Don’t be sad.” there are so many instances of Daniil forcing himself to be hopeful and optimistic to counteract Lara’s despair

TL;DR they should remain besties or I riot