#he's not 100% sure why that sounds way worse but he can tell it is XD

[nonotnolan]

Jock Cock, Part 1

"You wanted to see me, sir?" Adam Johnson, next year's star quarterback and this year's bane of my existence, looked up at me with his baby blue eyes. If he was trying to look small and unintimidating, it would have worked better without carrying 200+ pounds of muscle on a six foot frame.

Well, if he wanted to be melodramatic, two could play that game. "You know full well why I called you here, Adam." I thumped the stack of papers on my desk for emphasis. "You've been failing ECON 105 all semester, but suddenly you can score an 83% on the final exam? It's enough to get you D- in this class. It's not a perfect score, but it's still enough for you to avoid academic probation."

His face flashed with a brief moment of irritation before setting back into his normal, casual stupor. "Well, I wasn't studying before, and now I did. It's not like I scored all that great... sir."

"We both know that you don't know what 'sustainability' means, Adam. You tried to fly under the radar, you didn't cheat your way into a 100%... but it's still cheating. We both know that academic misconduct is a serious crime." I tried my best to sound stern and disappointed, but it was hard to be angry at a face this sexy.

Adam just laughed at me. "And if you could prove it, you wouldn't be calling me into a private meeting, would you?" He leaned back into a shit-eating grin, displaying his dazzling white teeth. This asshole had the upper hand, and he knew it.

"I checked every single essay!" I said, pounding the stack of papers once again. "Every essay, in every single TA's session of this class. You didn't plagiarize... but we both know this isn't your style of writing. And we watched you like a hawk during the exam itself, so you didn't cheat that way, either."

Adam leaned close into my face. "Professor Michaels has no idea that you called me in here, does he? You're just a Teaching Assistant on a power trip, and it's all because you can't stand knowing how I did it." He was right, and I hated him for it. Worse, when he stood this close to me, I could smell the musk of his body.

"Tell you what," he added, pulling off his tank top to reveal a set of firm abs. "You let me get away with this... sign off on my scores, whatever you need to do... and I'll let you live out one of your deepest, darkest fantasies." He struck a pose, showing off both his rippling muscles and his hairy pits. "We both know that you'll never get jock cock any other way. Come on, Teach. You want this."

Was I really that easy to read? "I-- I'm sure I don't know what you mean. Look, if you're going to stick to your lie about studying, then you can just leave. I don't... there's no need to insult my moral character. You're a student, Adam."

He responded by leaning in close to me, and placing his hand on top of my bulge. "Your body betrays you," he whispered, letting his fingers massage my inner thigh. "If it makes you feel better, I'm not your student. Adam and I swapped bodies so that I could take all of his final exams."

"I... yes, well..." That was the last thing I expected him to say, but it would explain a lot if it were true, somehow. It seemed much more likely than a desirable athlete like Adam coming onto me, at the very least.

"Be that as it may," I said, grabbing his hand and moving it away before my cock started leaking though my slacks, "that body still belongs to one of my students. And I still have meetings to attend today, so if we're done here..."

Adam, or the stranger in Adam's body, just laughed at me. "You're the one who wanted to have this meeting, remember? But that's fine, I know when I'm not wanted. But here's the thing-- once you submit grades at end of day, Adam's not your student anymore." He started typing something on his phone. "And honestly, I expected this from you. You're so uptight. Good thing you gave everyone your cell phone number on the syllabus at the start of the year. So if you change your mind... now you can have Adam's number, and a bonus pic from me."

"I know you don't know the real me, but trust me Kevin-- I've wanted to plow that uptight hole of your for months. And in this body, I've actually got a shot at it." The stranger slapped my ass before I could react, and swaggered out of the room. Whoever was inside of Adam's body, they knew my first name.

I looked at the retreating wall of shoulder muscles, and down at the teasing bathroom selfie the stranger sent to me. God help me, I was only human. And he was right-- how else was I going to get jock cock? He wasn't a student, not really, and that's what mattered. "You win. Tonight at 8pm, my place. Bring lube."

Check out Part 2 here. Check out Part 3 here.

[lw77]

Diet Pepsi 💈 (LSxMV)

Chapter 6. - Special Friend

Logan gets a ride home from Max and finds out there's a ghost haunting his house.

Before long, the kitchen fills with more people. Logan nurses the espresso Max made for him as he watches everyone blearily make their way in. When the crowd starts gathering around the island, he feels his stool being pulled and sees Max give him a lazy smile over his espresso cup, drawing him closer to where he stands. Once he’s pressed into Max’s side, Logan tilts his head in question.

“Do you need a ride home, Angel?” Max asks, leaning down slightly.

“No, I think I’m going with Alex and Os—” He turns to point where he last saw them leaning into each other, only to realize they’re no longer there. “Wait, where'd they go? Max, oh my god, they were just here a second ago!” He turns his head around to see if those two somehow ended up behind him, but they have really disappeared.

Max chuckles. “I guess I’m driving you home, Angel. Want to grab your stuff while I try to find Danny to say goodbye?”

Logan grimaces when he realizes his bag is still with Oscar. “Uh, sure, but my bag’s with Oscar.” Dropping his voice to a whisper, he tugs Max down. “You don’t think they’re all in the room, do you? Oh my god, what if that’s why they disappeared—those horn dogs.” Both he and Max scan the kitchen for Carlos and George, only to discover they have also vanished.

They both spot a grinning Fernando, who beams when he sees they realize who exactly is missing in action. “I can’t lie, Angel. I didn’t think they would go for a repeat so soon.”

Logan pats Max’s chest. “Me too, but why do I feel like Fernando definitely knew they would?”

Max holds the hands that were patting his chest and uses them to pull Logan off the stool. “I don’t know, Angel, but it’s his thing.”

Logan thinks back to the night before when Fernando orchestrated the whole room allocation. “Yeah, his thing,” he repeats sceptically as he follows Max out of the kitchen.

When they reach the hallway leading to the rooms, Logan isn’t sure if he wants to walk in on whatever scene those four are making—or not making. “You know, I think I’ll just shoot Oscar a text to bring my bag whenever he leaves,” he tells Max.

Max laughs at his trepidation. “Okay, Angel. Let’s go get whatever we need from our room. We can go find Danny afterward if he’s awake, and then I’ll take you home.”

As Max packs up his swim shorts and other items, Danny walks into their room.

“Good morning, lovebirds!” he exclaims before unceremoniously falling face-first into the bed. A few moments later, he adds, “Oh god, it smells like eau de cum in here. Jesus, did you guys just have sex or something? On these sheets that I just buried my head in?!”

“Technically, we didn’t,” Logan says.

“Didn’t have sex on the sheets? Don’t lie to me; it smells funky.” Danny snaps back.

“Well, we didn’t have sex, right, Maxie?” Logan continues happily. For some reason, teasing Danny is as enjoyable as telling his annoying cousin that Santa Claus isn't real.

“Yes, Angel.”

“See? It must be your own breath or something, Danny.” Logan says innocently, making Danny jump up as he breathes into his palm to test it.

“Whatever, I know you guys did something. It’s not only my Nonna who has a sixth sense for these things; I do too, Logieboy, so I’ll let it slide.” Danny attempts to sound menacing but looks a little worse for wear after the brief gaslighting session Logan led.

“Alright, we’re gonna head out. If you need anything, give me a call, Danny,” Max says, clapping Danny on the back before pulling him into a brief hug.

“Oh, don’t you worry, Maxie pad! Just take our little Logiebear home safe and sound. And make sure you don’t throw your back out, because we need all hands on deck for the job on Monday!” Danny finishes with a 100-watt grin.

Rolling his eyes at his best friend’s antics, Max shakes his head and waves as they head to the front door together. Logan, on the other hand, scowls at Danny before scrunching his face in faux disgust and fanning the air in front of him for added effect, as if Danny’s breath really does smell. When Danny catches on, he quickly tests his breath again.

“Goodbye, Danny! Don’t choke on your toothbrush!” Logan calls out with a laugh as he skips out the door, leaving Danny still testing his breath.

Shaking his head, Max opens the passenger door for Logan. “Hop in, Angel,” he says in that familiar, easy tone.

Logan gives a small smile before sliding in. The click of his seatbelt fills the brief silence as Max walks around to the driver’s side, settling in and starting the truck. They pull out of the driveway, the morning quiet around them.

“You’ll need to give me directions, Angel,” Max says, his voice calm. “Unless you want me to take you to your dad’s store—or mine,” he adds with a teasing grin, his eyes flicking briefly over to Logan.

Logan turns, catching that playful glint in Max’s eyes. “You want me in your bed again so soon, Maxie?” he teases back.

Max chuckles, his hand brushing through Logan’s hair before trailing down to rest on his thigh, his touch firm yet soft. “Well, when you ask so nicely,” Max replies, his voice low and warm, eyes on the road but a smile playing on his lips.

Rolling his eyes, Logan places his hand over Max's before he directs him to his house. The cab of the truck fills with a languid peace as they navigate through the morning traffic, lulling Logan into a brief nap.

The truck shutting off jolts him awake, and he blinks, realizing they’ve arrived outside his house. He looks back at Max, a small pout on his lips when he realizes he slept through most of the drive.

“What’s wrong, Angel? Is this not the right address?” Max questions, his tone playful.

Shaking his head, Logan replies, “It is. Guess I’ll see you on Monday?” His voice carries a hint of disappointment at having to part.

Chuckling, Max’s hand comes to cradle the side of Logan’s face, his thumb brushing where Logan’s lip juts out. “We can go to mine, Angel. We don’t have to do anything either. Just sit and look pretty for me while I work on some of our projects. You like that?”

Logan leans his head into Max’s hand, feeling comforted its not just him disappointed at their goodbye. “As much as I’d love to, I think I need to go give a sign of life to my parents so they know I didn’t drown. But… I’d love to do that another time?” He raises his eyes to Max’s shyly.

Brushing his thumb along Logan’s cheekbone, Max smiles softly. “Of course, Angel.” He leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to the spot where his thumb rested. 

When Max pulls back, Logan instinctively shifts forward, his lips catching Max’s in a brief, sweet kiss. Leaning closer over the cab of the truck, he brings his hands to clutch the back of Max’s neck, fingers tangling in his hair, trying to pull him in closer. The warmth radiating from their bodies fills the space between them, heating up the cab, it makes Logan's pulse quicken.

Max kisses Logan back, the sweetness quickly transforming into something deeper, more urgent. Their lips moving together, soft and hungry, as both try to pull the other closer. Max’s hands slide down Logan’s sides, fingers grazing over his jeans, teasingly tugging at the loops as if to pull him into his lap.

The pressure of the tug makes Logan gasp, his breath hitching in his throat, a sweet, intoxicating sound that Max eagerly swallows down. He breaks away just enough to catch Logan’s gaze—those eyes now dark with desire and edged with frustration—as a wayward smile dances on his lips.

"Why'd you stop?" Logan whines, his disappointment palpable as he paws at Max, hands desperate, trying to pull him back in, the need for more clear in every touch.

“Can’t take care of you here, Angel. I don’t want to send you home to your parents like that, now do we?” Max placates, despite his teasing words.

Groaning, Logan replies, “Ugh, I change my mind. Let’s go to yours, Maxie. I’ll send my parents a text.” 

Max laughs softly. “Angel, I think it’s too late for that. We’ve been out here long enough that I’m pretty sure your parents are looking through the windows at us—yeah, there it is.” 

Logan looks outside to see the living room curtain suddenly close shut. 

“Oh my god,” he exclaims, mortified.

Still chuckling, Max says, “It’s kind of funny.”

“It’s mortifying,” Logan shoots back. With one last peck to Max’s lips, he twists to open his door. 

“I’ll see you soon, alright, Angel?” Max’s voice is gentle yet firm.

Logan nods, his heart fluttering as he steps out into the cool morning air. “Yeah, soon,” he echoes, taking a moment to glance back at Max, who watches him with a smile that sends warmth flooding through him.

When the front door shuts, Logan hears Max’s engine turn on, followed by the familiar sounds of him driving off.

Soon, he hears his mom call out unconvincingly, “Logan, is that you, hun?” as she rounds the foyer.

“Yeah, Mom! Didn’t you see when you and Dad were peeking out the window?” Logan calls out, easily calling their bluff.

He hears his dad yell from the kitchen, “The living room is just drafty, son! That has nothing to do with us!”

Nodding at her husband’s words, Logan’s mom agrees, brushing her arms in a ‘so cold’ gesture. “Your father’s right, hun. That was definitely not us. It might even be a ghost, you know? Grammie did like those curtains quite a lot, probably her spirit” she adds, continuing her unconvincing act. “Now come on, I made some pancakes.” Her tone brooks no argument, silencing any further protests Logan might have had about their excuses.

Following his mom into the kitchen, Logan sees his dad wearing a knowing smile. “So, how was the lake house? Did you boys have fun?”

“Yeah, it was good. Danny had jet skis, so Oscar and Alex were on those all day,” Logan replies, trying to keep it casual.

“And any special friends made there?” His dad quickly follows up, eyebrows waggling playfully.

“Yeah, honey, did you make any special friends?” his mom echoes, a teasing lilt in her voice.

“Okay, you guys keep emphasizing ‘special’ like I make imaginary friends or something. It’s getting weird. Is there a question ‘Grammie’ might have since she moved the curtains so much?” Logan asks, giving his parents a knowing look.

Clapping her hands in delight, his mom is quick to respond, “Oh yes! She said it’s a shame that kind young man who drove you home didn’t come in for her famous pancake recipe.”

“Seriously?” Logan raises an eyebrow, incredulous.

“Logan, this isn’t your mother and I, but Grammie. We are merely her messengers. So please don’t skip any details,” his dad explains, suppressing a grin and failing to keep a straight face.

Logan sighs, feeling the weight of his parents’ curiosity pressing down on him. He doesn’t know if he should be embarrassed or annoyed.

“His name is Max. We spent time together, and he offered me a ride home,” Logan mutters.

His dad springs up. “Max? Our regular Max? The one who called you ‘Angel’ last time?”

His mom gasps dramatically. “Someone flirted with our son, called him ‘Angel,’ and you’re just telling me this now?”

Logan groans, “Can we drop it, please? You wanted some details, and I gave them.”

“Sweetheart, I was going to tell you! He’s the one from Ricc&Co we thought we had to hire to finally get him into Logan’s bedroom. You should’ve seen him in the store—he only had eyes for Logan,” his dad interjects.

“Whatever,” Logan retorts, trying to hide the smile creeping onto his face. “Can I just eat my pancakes in peace?”

“Only if you tell us more about this Max! Your dad saw you flirt; I only saw—” his mom insists, a mischievous glint in her eye before it widens as she realizes something.

“You mean Grammie saw? Anyway, you’ll see him, Mom, just come to the store and watch like Dad does” he concedes, finally cracking a smile as he digs into the stack of pancakes.

Authors Note: I didn't forget this story! I know this is short but the next chapter will be loooooong <3

[a-random-weeb]

Hii can I request yandere fyodor with a fem reader who’s a Broadway actor so almost every night he makes her sing for him so reader escapes only for him to show up in one of the readers musicals in the crowd while smirking at her

i know like nothing about Broadway. I know I'm 19, I know I'm supposed to be knowledgeable, but I never paid enough attention to this kind of stuff. I know basically what it is, I'm not 5 (That sounds so suspicious I promise I am above the age of 5, and am 100% a fellow Homo sapien just trust me) , just don't yell at me if I get a fact wrong or something, I tried my best 😭

Idk why I always get carried away with how dark I make Fyodor in my writing, so... enjoy whatever this is

Warnings: murder, stalking (ig), Yandere themes, r*pe mentions, forced cannibalism he's really ooc, idk what else

〰⊹𖦹⋆✿₊ ⊹𖦹⋆✿₊ ⊹𖦹⋆✿₊ ⊹𖦹⋆✿₊ ⊹𖦹⋆✿₊ ⊹𖦹⋆✿₊ ⊹𖦹⋆〰

This is a bad idea. You know it's a bad idea. He could find you but... this is the first time you've felt happy in forever. The rush of adrenaline as you sing and dance across the stage, it's too good, too addicting. Plus, it's not like he's here... Right? There's no way! Don't be silly! You escaped 3 months ago, there's no way he could have found you! Well, actually, you are a big actor, you guess this was a really bad idea.

As you bow to close off your performance with the rest of your fellow actors, but the moment glance out at the crowd, your eyes widden in horror. Deep within the crowd, you spot him. How- why- huh? Your heart drops in your stomach and you feel like you could throw up at any moment. You don't know how you maintain the huge, now fake smile spread across your face as you take on final bow and exit the stage.

You attempt to exit the place unnoticed, keeping your hood up in case he is still in the area. You look around, taking note of all your surroundings. Well, apparently everything accept what's infront of you because you bumped right into a guy. Stumbling backwards, you pay no mind to your flimsy hood falling down as you stutter apologies. Your whole face fills with hate, shock, horror, anger, everything, as you stare up at the man before you.

"It's perfectly fine, Myshka." The dark haired man looks down at you with a cunning smile. You stumble backwards, but he pulls you in by your waist. "Try to run and I shoot you, ok?" He chuckles maniacally. You're whole body freezes, you desperately try to scream, move, tell him off, anything! But all that comes out is a quiet whimper. He gently lifts a cloth to your mouth and everything goes dark...

You groan, your head aching and your heart pounding as your eyes flutter open. You freeze as you realize you're in a place you think of as hell. Fyodors punishment room. Sometimes it's sexual, sometimes it's just torture. The sexual ones are better, sure, it's r*pe, and he's sadistic, doesn't let you come and cuts you. But his torture punishments are much, much worse.

He enters the room with the most shit-eating grin you've ever seen. Tears stream down your face as you notice that in his hands lays the head of your brother.

"Hey~ You ran away for a few months, and that really hurt mwy fweelings!" He mocks, "Now it's my turn for some revenge~ now sing those cute little songs you sang in broadway, and maybe I won't shove your brothers remains down your throat!"

You sing and sing for hours, even getting you to dance. Eventually, you start to lose your voice, and that's when his face darkens.

"It's only been 4 hours. How are you losing your voice?" He glares, and the room goes silent for a minute. His sigh breaks the quiet, as he shoves one of your brothers eye balls in your mouth. You feel disgusted as he makes you bite down, the texture disturbingly mushy and chewy. He shoves the other eye in your mouth as you cry, his eyes lighting up in sadistic glee.

"Next time, it'll be your sister. Then your father, then your mother. Oh, but don't worry, that'll only happen if you try to run again!" He chuckles in mock sympathy. "Now, you'll be eating the rest of him if you act up, now, why don't you go get some rest? You did great on Broadway, I'm sure you're tired!" He says like he didn't just make you a cannibale. You sit on the floor, still trying to process everything. You regret ever running away, and now you sit on the cold, hard floor belonging to the man you hate the most... Fyodor Dostoevsky.

[wisteriaiswriting]

Yandere Jett with an S/O that gets hurt during training

Hurt During Training

Words: 336

It’s better for you to just tell her, because it will be 100% worse if you try to hide the injury. Especially if you needed to see Sage or Skye for it.

Quick to challenge or spar whoever hurt you, but if she can’t she’ll become rude / standoffish towards the person.

Then the next few hours are spent with her babying you. (She’s just making sure that you’re alright.)

There’s a real high chance that she’ll start crying, whether it’s genunine or her trying to guilt trip you, you really don’t know.

You can bet that she’s watching any future training from now on.

***

Today was the training session between you and Yoru, focusing on hand to hand and melee combat. Which was going well enough, managing to dodge his attacks and not gain any injuries. Until the door opened, the noise caught your attention, causing you to turn around.

This gave Yoru a chance to attack, leaving you with a cut on your hand. Cradling the limb as he put the knife away, hearing the muffled sound of shoes pacing in the locker room. Yoru left immediately, leaving you with a worried Jett.

“아기, 그는 너를 해치지 않았어 디��” Eye zoning in on your cradled hand, “Show me your hand.”

“I’m fine, see!” Turning your hand away from her while holding your arm out, “He did nothing.”

Silently reaching for your locker before she suddenly grabbed your hand, pulling you over by it. “Why would you hide this from me?” Pulling you over to a nearby first aid kit, standing over you while starting to wrap your hand. “This is why you need to tell me these things, so many things could’ve happened!”

“There, now c’mon.” Not giving you a choice in following her, all the way back to her room where you stayed for the rest of the day.

[spilledcoffeeonthefloor]

Andrew didn't recognize his surrounding, and even the time.

he couldn't figure out if it was daytime, nighttime, afternoon, or whatever.

the sky was gray, it seemed cloudy, but it wasn't. it was just gray.

hah, Neil would love this sky.

last thing he knew, he was, well, he didn't remember but he was with Neil wherever he was.

and now he was standing on top of a building, on the roof. there was nothing else around him. it seemed like nothing else even existed. it was just him, a gray sky and an unknown figure who was sitting on the edge of the roof with his back to Andrew.

Andrew cast on last look to his surrounding and approached the figure. somehow he wasn't scared, somehow he didn't even care.

he looked at the figure just as the figure turned to look at him;

and he was looking at himself.

the person sitting on the edge had his exact same face, and somehow, 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘩𝘰𝘸, he knew it wasn't Aaron.

it was him, himself, staring at him like a mirror.

"who the fuck are you." Andrew asked, because wasn't everything already too much 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘭?

the person, the other Andrew in fact, took his eyes away and looked at the gray sky. "well, I'm you, if you haven't figured it out yet."

"because that's so possible? i already have a copy i don't think I'll need another one"

the person, the other Andrew 𝑼𝒈𝒉, pointed to the sky , then their surrounding and said "does any of this looks possible to you?"

"is that a dream, then?"

"to you, maybe."

Andrew sat down, he guessed it might actually be a dream, cause he didn't feel his heartbeat increase by the fear of falling and crashing down into the nothingness that was beneath their feet.

Andrew heard little sounds of 𝒄𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒌, 𝒄𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒌, 𝒄𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒌, and looked around to see his other self playing with a set of keys, connected to a fox key chain, that Andrew had seen before, but was 100% sure that it wasn't his, and he know who it was for.

the other Andrew,(Andrew decided to call him the guy, cause whatever, there's only one real Andrew) somehow noticed Andrew watching, And raised an eyebrows.

"is there a rabbit for every version of me existing in this world?" Andrew scoffed.

"actually, yeah, probably. in other worlds too" said the guy.

"oh?"

"hm." and after a moment "is yours still alive?"

a beat.

"what?"

"your rabbit. Neil. is your Neil alive?"

"what the fuck was this supposed to mean?"

the other Andrew made a sound. it was something exhausted and, dead. sad. Angry, Andrew didn't know, he didn't know. huh, the irony, Andrew didn't know himself.

or this version of himself, with whatever bullshit he was saying.

"i take that as a yes."

Andrew started to see it now. Andrew always had thought that he was fucked up. he always knew it, it was a fact, and at some point, he believed that it couldn't get any worse. at the point where he lost all his feelings, at the point where he was a shell filled with nothingness, he believed that it couldn't be any worse, cause what can affect you anymore when you don't feel a fucking thing? when you're barely a person?

but now? Andrew could see it. this guy, this version of himself, is way more dead than Andrew could imagine being possible for himself.

"yours is not?"

"no."

no. Andrew could see it now.

"how?"

"baltimore."

baltimore. Andrew could fucking see it now. he'd been having a lot of feeling toward that day. the mess of fuckedupity that came with that day was a blow, was a damage that took so hard to heal and still, some nights Andrew would see Neil dead in his nightmare. but whatever happened, whatever it was, at the end, Neil would take Andrew's hand and put it on his heart to say 𝘴𝘦𝘦? 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦.

"why am i here? " Andrew asked. was this whole thing some kind of a warning? was it his subconscious trying to tell him something?

everything was so dull and gray Andrew had to close his eyes before it stared to hurt.

"i don't know. i don't know why you're here, but it doesn't matter, you're not gonna be here again tomorrow, only i will, and another me with another similar but different life, like you."

"why does this happen."

"again, i don't know. i guess I'm cursed."

"cursed."

"cursed, to see how else all this could have gone, or maybe bless, to see that at least i had it in another universe."

"do you think I'm you from another universe?"

"i stopped wondering long ago. i stopped doing anything long ago, stopped living probably, i don't know. every now and then i find myself here, and everytime another me comes seat down beside me, all of them lived a different possibility. some didn't know Who Aaron even was, some didn't know who Neil was, some where like me,"

the guy looked down

"sometimes, no one would come. on those days, i can feel... death. i feel cold. i feel the weight of an incomplete life. i guess on those lives, we chose to end it early. I'm sure you know why, and probably when."

there was times, Andrew remembered, when he would look at the blade in his hand, and it would take everything for him to not go much deeper this time and end it for good. he remember making his decision countless times, but he just couldn't do it. sometimes he thinks maybe, maybe if Aaron hadn't come up in his life, if higgins never told him about Aaron, if he had never made his way to juvie, maybe he couldn't take it anymore. maybe, maybe he'd rather go.

"i envy them, sometimes, the dead." said the guy, then he looked at Andrew, and Andrew felt his 13 year old self stare at him, just as hopeless, as dead. the guy smiled and bitterness leaked from the smile "but you shouldn't, and i know you don't. you are probably even happy that you didn't end it back then. see? that's the blessing part, i get to see me have this in another life."

Andrew's vision blurres

"he will hold your heart in his hand and force it to beat if it feels like a flat line."

he looked at Andrew "he does, right?"

"Are you asking me? you seemed so sure of what you're saying."

the guy,(maybe now Andrew could accept he really was himself) closed his eyes

"cause that's what i felt it might be like. that's how i thought it might feel like. that's what i would let myself hope for, again, like a fucking fool. just a light, just something. but as i've always known and fooled myself to ignore because I'm fucking self destructive, I let myself hope again, and it almost killed me, again. not almost, i think it killed me completely this time. huh."

he looked at Andrew

Andrew thought what a joke, he ruins himself, he gets wrecked by himself everytime, destruc himself, whether by a self from this life, or another.

right now, he felt crushing down by all the things he heard.

but he felt something else too

"you're right" Andrew heard himself say.

the guy turned to look at him

"he does force my heart to beat."

Andrew saw the bitter smile again, like the other was choking on bitterness and it was leaking from his mouth.

he looked at the keychain in his hand.

seeing him, Andrew exactly felt like seeing one of the "what ifs".

Andrew shut his eyes, he couldn't watch anymore.

he heard the guy say" looking at you, i guess it could be worth it."

sometimes Andrew would wonder exactly that.

was it worth it? was it worth accepting the risk of getting all fucked up, like who he was staring at?

was tearing himself open and taking down his walls worth the possibility of things going downwards?

but does it even matter? it's not like it was supposed to happen anyway. it's not like Andrew even knew it was happening. Neil didn't take down his walls, didn't try climbing them up or cracking them open, but he stayed outside respecting them long enough that Andrew himself made a door for him through them. welcomed him.

guess he wouldn't give any of it up for the numbness and safety of being alone. even if it could all go down in flames.

"Aaron?"

Andrew opened his eyes

"Aaron what?"

"how is your Aaron."

"we broke the deal, if you know which one i meant. we go to therapy together."

"oh? does he want to stay?"

Andrew shrugged "I'll be paying for his med school."

"how."

"if i go pro."

he said if, but he knows he will, he made his decision long ago and there are plenty of teams who want him on their team.

"you still play exy"

he wasn't really surprised if the other Andrews in other lives didn't play exy.

wise people.

he looked at the guy as he stood up, looking at the sky.

"you're the first, you know?"

"first what" Andrew waited for an explanation.

"you're the first.." he looked down and seemed to think more of what to say

"between all lives, i think you're the closest I've seen to alive."

Andrew froze.

he wanted to laugh, of course the only ones wishing for his life are the more fucked up versions of himself.

he wanted to laugh then throw himself of the building.

but there was also something else, something that he felt guilty to feel, something that was, strange.

he felt,

he didn't know.

maybe, maybe, he was so fucked up that he was feeling

grateful,

somehow.

and scared.

he was scared too. he was confused too, and angry,

and meanwhile he wasn't really feeling anything cause the sky was too gray and it was all to blurry.

he closed his eyes and just wished he could put his hands on Neil's heart.

"stand up" he heard the guy say.

Andrew opened his eyes and stood up

"i don't think it's faith. not all of it, at least. i guess part of it was faith, and luck.

but other part of it is us. it was up to you. and me.

you did it. you've come so far, you deserve it, and more."

he kept staring at the gray sky

"for one last time, i want to hope.

i hope in another life, i would let myself want, enough for every life where i couldn't. and i hope it would be worth it, enough for every life where it wasn't.

for every life where i didn't make it, i hope I'd want to live just as much."

the guy started to fade, Andrew thought. the building started to shake, the sky felt like falling.

"i hope in another life i get to live a life, past just surviving, past the numbness,

enough for every life where i didn't."

he looked at Andrew.

"i hope you get to live a life, so my hopes don't go to waste."

then he put a hand on Andrew's chest, and pushed him off the building.

𝘪 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘐'𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 Andrew thought, falling.

-------------------------------------------------------------

when Andrew opened his eyes, he saw blue.

he didn't know why he was expecting gray,

but all he could see was a concern blue, staring back at him.

𝘮𝘺 𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘣𝘪𝘵, he thought.

he also didn't know why he was feeling so relieved, but he let out a breath, and felt like this is his first breath in forever.

"nightmare?" Neil asked him. tucked so close, lying beside him in their bed in Colombia.

nightmare? Andrew didn't remember. but his heart was beating fast and he woke up suddenly so it must have been a nightmare.

he shrugged.

"want me to go?"

another thing Andrew didn't know was why the thought of Neil leaving right now was so terrifying.

the fact that Andrew didn't want Neil leaving, isn't shocking itself. it's been so long since Neil's presence in bed after Andrew's nightmares was comforting rather than not,

but what shocked both him and Neil was the fact that Andrew was scared of Neil leaving. he clenched to Neil before he could stop himself and saw the shock on Neil's face.

"i won't go, you know I'll stay if you want me to."

"i want you to. stay. "

he had said this sentence at least 10 times in the last 10 days, but today it somehow felt...heavy, more, deep.

𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵.

"ok" Neil settled more comfortably this time and brought his hand to the side of Andrew's face. Andrew put his own hand on Neil's.

he was afraid that if he took his eyes away from Neil's, everything would turn gray.

he didn't know why, he couldn't remember.

after a few minutes, he felt the urge to do something.

he lifted his other hand and put it on Neil's heart.

when he felt the first beat of Neil's heart, a tension he was holding since he woke up, left this body. color came back to everything, he wasn't scared to see gray anymore.

Neil's heart keep beating steadily under his palm. calm.

𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦. 𝘮𝘺 𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘣𝘪𝘵, 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦.

Neil was looking at him with, something. not concern, something deeper,

better.

Neil put his other hand on Andrew's.

Now he had a hand on Andrew's face, under Andrew's hand, and another hand on Andrew's, on his own chest.

Andrew could lay there forever.

he didn't know how long had passed, but he eneded up laying on top of Neil, head fixed on his heart. closing his eyes while Neil had a hand on his back and kept stroking his hair with the other.

𝘋𝘶 𝘥𝘶𝘮, 𝘋𝘶 𝘥𝘶𝘮, 𝘋𝘶 𝘥𝘶𝘮

like it was saying

𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵, 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦, 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦

[solaris-amethyst]

💫Sing for me?💫

✨Pairing: San x gn!reader ✨Prompt: You over hear your coworker sing and convinces him to sing at work in front of your guests. ✨Word Count: 2.6k ✨Genre: fluff, non idol au, romance, coworkers to lovers ☀️️Authors Note: That picture of San is one of my favorites😭 What did you guys think of this one? I am so proud of this one actually, I'm so happy with how it turned out🥰

There was not much going on at the moment at work. You were finishing up your chores by throwing out some of the trash so San who were closing alone tonight wouldn't have much to do at all.

You liked working with San, he was a great man who was kind, lovely, funny and just overall someone you enjoyed being around. Sharing your shift with him always led to you laughing so much your stomach hurt and walking home with butterflies.

He was incredibly handsome and you would be lying if you said you didn't have a slight crush on said man. He was incredibly handsome and such a sweetheart that your heart almost always beat a little faster when around him.

If only you could get the courage to ask him out on a date. But the anxiety of him potentially saying no and it ruining the friendship you two got going on is what stopped you from acting on those butterflies. Nothing would make it worse than having to go to work every day and it being awkward with the two of you when usually the two of you always had fun playing around at the little cafe.

After the last trash bag had been thrown away you entered from the back of the cafe to walk back to the front but you suddenly stopped when you heard a lovely voice singing from the front. It sounded almost siren like in your ears as the voice sang softly along to the radio.

The voice was beautiful, luring you back to the front where the man you had been working with was singing, his back towards you as he cleaned the counter. You couldn't help yourself just standing there in the door opening looking at him in awe.

Never had San mentioned he could sing and oh how you wished he had mentioned it earlier because this was simply so beautiful it almost moved you to tears with the way he sang the love song that was softly playing from the radio. It wasn't until San turned around while singing that he noticed you, causing him to falter and flinch not having expected you there. "Oh shit! Y/n!! What ar you doing here?! I thought you clocked out and went home!" He looks flustered, holding a hand to his chest.

"I went to throw out the trash before I clocked out. I wanted to make the closing shift easier for." You confessed sheepishly looking him straight in the eyes.

San quickly avoided eye contact with you, his ears turning a bright red you noticed.

"You sing beautifully San. I didn't know you could sing like that." You complimented him hoping he'd look up at you.

"I'm not that good..." He says rubbing a hand behind his head denying your compliment causing you to look at him flabbergasted.

"What are you talking about San? You sounded beautifully when singing. You have talent that's for sure. You could definitely pursue music you know and be very successful." You told him earnestly.

"You really think so?" He looks at you curiously and with a glint in his eyes that you can't fully tell what it means.

"Yes 100%. Ohhh! I know! Why don't we have you sing here at work?? We could create a little stage and have like a two hour time slot where you sing ballads and such in the cafe for our customers to enjoy??" You say excitedly walking up to him.

Sans eyes widen at your idea and he takes a step back as you walk closer in excitement. You look so passionate about this, so beautiful with your eyes shining with happiness in his own eyes.

"You... You really think so? But what if they won't like me singing?"

"Oh please! They'd love it! I can promote it on social media together with Yeosang! People would come and they'd love it! Please San, think about it you'd get to sing infront of people and share this side of you."

"Okay I'll think about it."

You beamed at him nodding excitedly giving him a quick hug before going back to the staff room to change and check out for the day. Saying goodbye for the day to San and going on your merry way home. What you didn't see was San smiling to himself doing a little celebration dance due to the fact that you had complimented his singing voice earlier.

- 🔆 - 🔅 - 🔆 - 🔅 - 🔆 - 🔅 - 🔆 - 🔅 - 🔆 - 🔅 - 🔆 - 🔅 - 🔆 - 🔅 -

"Hey Y/n" "Oh! Hi San!" "I have been thinking about what you told me yesterday about me singing and doing it at work." "I want to try it. You were so encouraging and I'd like to take a leap of faith and if all else fail and people doesn't turn up at least I get to sing for you" "😲 !!!" "Ahhhhhh I'm so glad to hear that!!!" "Omg I'm so excited to make this work!!! You think about which songs you wanna sing and let me and Yeosang do the online stuff okay!!💞"

You immediately after you had responded to Sans messages went to text Yeosang about this all giddily. Your heart had done a somersault once you had read the part where San had written that even if no one turns up he'd at least get to sing for you.

You're glad you live alone so that no one had to see the way you were swinging your legs happily whilst texting Yeosang. He had agreed immediatly once hearing your plan about San and were already thinking about how the two of you were going to decorate the whole place. He had specifically written that he knew a guy who could help you guys with the sound system and find a good mic for San to use and that he had texted him immediately about this whole plan and his friend named Hongjoong had been on board.

The three of you made a group chat together and spent the whole night discussing and planning for the show. Yeosang was already making posts about what ended up dubbing The Evening Serenade and he had already made some amazing posters which he had sent to San as well to get his approval before he posted them on your cafés social media.

The next few days at work you and Yeosang had been buzzing like bees since your boss had agreed to this and the both of you were working so hard to decorate the whole place. Today was finally the day of the performance and you were finishing up the last finishing touches on the stage.

"Is there anything I can help you guys with?" San questioned as he went up to you, looking over the little stage you were decorating for the performance.

"Do you think you could hand me the flowers over there? I wanna make a pretty backdrop for you." You motion towards the flowers and he quickly went and picked them up joining you on the stage to help you create the backdrop.

"I've decided on the songs I want to sing today." He said with a shy smile as you looked at him excited.

"You have?! Will I get to know which songs you've chosen or will it be a surprise?" He chuckled at your question whilst handing you a rose

"It will have to be a secret for you, I've told Yeosang and his friend about the songs but for you it will be a surprise."

"Awwww you can't give me a hint? At least one song??" You beg him hoping he'd tell you at least one song, it brings out a giggle from him causing you to smile. His giggle was just as melodic as his singing is and you loved hearing it. It made your heart soar at the fact you managed to get him to giggle.

"All I can say is one of the songs is your favorite song and I even made sure it was the right version they're using for the instrumental, just for you." He confesses with a smile, his eyes twinkling and ending up in the shape of crescent moons. He looked so soft and kind right now.

"My favorite song... but I have so many San! How will I figure out which one you chose?!" You pout and he gently bumps the side of his body against yours.

"I guess you just have to wait and see until the performance starts sweetheart" He gives you a wink before taking some more flowers to put on the backdrop.

"I'm looking forward to hear your lovely singing voice again." You admit trying to fight the way your face is heating up, hoping he won't notice it, if he does he says nothing of it.

After the two of you had fixed the backdrop and you had made him sit on the chair and do some poses as if he was singing, which he did shyly trying to ignore the customers who were already there looking at him curiously, had you decided it looked good and brought forward the best side of him.

The closer the time got to 14:30, the more people started to come inside and order something to eat and drink before the performance was about to start. Yeosangs posts on social media and all of you working plus Yeosangs friend Hongjoong sharing it had caused it to gain lots of traction.

Your boss had even said if this was a success then she wanted it to become a reoccurring thing at the café.

"Oh wow look at you San! You look stunning!" You couldn't help but gape at him, he looked beautiful in black dress pants, a cream colored shirt which he had rolled up the sleeves so you could see his forearms and a pair of black shoes.

"Thank you. Is it alright? Does it fit the theme? I wasn't sure of how much I should dress up for this." He admitted looking a bit worried whilst looking down at his own clothes. You took a step forward taking his hands in yours to reassure him.

"You look absolutely stunning San. Truly, you look wonderful."

"Thank you Y/n, it means a lot hearing it from you." There it was, that gorgeous smile that always gave you butterflies in your stomach. He squeezed your hand lightly before excusing himself as Yeosang called for him to come to the stage so they could quickly fix the mic before starting the whole event.

You walked back to the counter incase anyone wanted to buy something but also so you would have perfect view of San as he was performing infront of everyone.

After some introductions and a thank you to everyone who had turned up the music started and the first song San sang was I'm Yours by Jason Mraz, he looked nervous in the beginning but soon the nerves must have melted away because he flourished on that scene like the flowers behind him.

"There is one song he's dedicated to you, you know." Yeosang whispers to you as he takes his place next to you causing you to look at him surprised.

"Really?"

"Yeah I'll nudge you when it comes on so you can focus on him." Yeosang winks at you before getting his work phone up to film some of the performance to post on your works instagram.

Very often during Sans performances would he make eye contact with you and give you a smile or a wink as he was singing before focusing back on the crowd. It was perhaps 1 hour and 30 minute into his performance that a familiar tune came from the speakers and Yeosang nudged you eagerly clearly wanting you to focus on San.

You glanced at Yeosang with big eyes before turning to focus on San. There was no way he dedicated this song to you. The melody to I will always love you played through the speakers as San started to sing the song.

You were surprised that San had actually remembered how you had mentioned you preferred the original version of the song and how you loved the way Dolly Parton sang the love song she had written. Yet here he was proving you wrong, he had remembered how you had told him that when speaking about favorite love songs.

Sans eyes had never left your form once since the song had started. He enjoyed seeing the way you stared at him with big eyes, clearly shocked he had chosen this song to dedicate to you. He could see Yeosang next to you grinning and whispering something causing you to smile shyly.

During the entire song you could feel every single emotion San put through the song and it was beautiful, truly. You almost teared up because of it had you not been at work. He finished the song with a small wink towards you.

"That concludes today's Evening Serenade. I want to thank everyone who turned up today and made this a success and came here to listen to me sing. Thank you all." San said into the mic before giving a little bow on the stage to the sound of applauds and whistles.

People were complementing him as he went off stage and towards the back to have a little moment for himself. Yeosang nudged you towards the back as well, saying it was very important you went there immediately.

You hurried to the back to see if you could find San after his wonderful performance.

"San?? Are you here?? I just wanted to congratulate you and tell you how wonderful you wer-oh!" Your rambling was cut off by a bouquet of flowers appearing infront of you together with a red faced San.

"T-these are for you Y/n." He confessed

"Me?! What? I should be the one gifting you flowers! You were amazing San! And the last song! I can't believe you remembered me telling you that was my favorite love song." You said whilst accepting the flowers he insisted on giving you.

"Yeah I wanted this to be very special for you."

"Special? For me? Why? This is your big day not mine."

"There's something I wanted to ask you." San said suddenly seeming more nervous than he had been during his first shift which had included a hectic rush his first few hours.

"Okay, I'm listening to whatever you want to ask." You smiled wanting to be encouraging as he was fidgeting in his spot.

"Y/n, I have realized lately that you mean more to me than I had previously realized. You're kind, passionate, loving and such a delight to be around. Being with you is like a dream I'd never want to wake up from. I look forward to work because I know I get to be with you and listen to you talk about anything and everything you want with such passion. You're like the light of my world and if you'd have me I would want to be the light of your world as well." He confesses and you stare at him in shock, you're not entirely sure if you're dreaming right now or if this is real life.

"San are you..." You couldn't even finish the sentence in fear you were dreaming or making it all up in your head.

"Would you like to be my partner?" He finally asks and you nod quicker than you've ever done before that its almost embarrassing.

Almost.

"Yes. Yes San. And for the record you're already the light of my world love."

San takes a step forward and brings you into his embrace and you carefully embrace him back before he leans up and look towards you. He leans forward and captures your lips in a short but sweet kiss.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

Request:  fuegoleon nsfw fic with wife s/o who's really hot? Fuego has been really busy with work lately and s/o feels neglected and sadly tells him one day that she's the only one who wants him but he doesn't want her? And it kinda hits a switch in fue, because he just can't fathom his wife thinking that HE doesn't want her, and he goes feral? Overstim, breeding kink, Dom!Fuego Lots of adorable aftercare too of you're okay with it🥰

A/N: Hiya! I got immersed into this while writing it, and it’s not 100% on with her telling him that she’s the only one wanting him, but the theme is there. This is also the hardest smut I’ve written to this day, I think, because while my Fuelara smut has been longer and more romantic, this is harder. Anyways, I do hope that you like it. And now I need a cold shower 🥵

Pairing: Fuegoleon x f!reader (written in 1st person POV)

Fanfic type: Oneshot

Genre: Smut, hurt-comfort

Length: ~3.0k

Warnings: smut, cunnilingus (reader receiving), vaginal sex, creampie, no mention of birthcontrol, overstimulation (reader receiving), breeding kink, one mention of face fucking but no actual act, implied cervix fucking, crude language (”fuck me”), reader and Fue and married (established relationship), Fue says “I love you” mid act, Dom!Fue, aftercare minors DNI

It’s quiet. Well, if you don’t count the crickets. A part of me is surprised that there are already crickets at this time of the year, even if the summer is warm, which is why I have the window open in the first place. And another part of me is still glad that I can still hear them.

Another, much smaller, part. The part is muffled under the sigh that leaves my lips in an effort to relieve the restlessness in my body. But even if I wandered off from the open window, I’d find my way back to it soon enough I’m sure. Because the cool night air feels as if a caress against my skin.

A caress… that I crave for. The caress that I’ve longed for… for too many nights.

They say that the time your relationship is passionate is short, a few months, a year if you’re lucky, and then it starts to die down. I suppose I should say that I am luckier than most people then, granted that it took so long for us to get to this place. We had a good run… But that makes is sound like we would be heading for a divorce, which is far from the truth.

It’s not… bad… our relationship. It’s just more like a partnership. A business deal. And I could certainly do a lot worse, which argues against divorce.

Plus… I still love him.

And I hope… I hope that he still loves me. He says that he does, but the lack of touch, more than the generic hand on the shoulder in passing, speaks a different tale.

I hope that he loves me… and I hope that he still wants me.

There’s a thought that occurs to me, a very distasteful thought that makes me nauseous for a passing second.

But I know that he’s not the kind of a man to cheat on his wife. He’s not the type of a person to go behind one’s back and seek comfort in the arms of another.

I still love, and trust, my husband.

He’s simply a busy man, that’s all. And he is busy. There is a lot on his shoulders. I want to trust that, that’s all there is to it. I want to believe that he’s just tired… But there is not even a gaze to my direction anymore. Before, his busy schedule didn’t stop us. Though a long, sweaty night, or just a few hours of passionate, romantic love making was preferrable, a quicky was never out of the question.

And I swear, all the times I went down on him in his office, behind his desk, despite him feeling conflicted about doing such a thing in his office, he loved it. The way he smile, and the glimmer in his eyes told me that he drank it up like a starving man.

Besides, he never seemed all that … un-eager to do so. If anything, he seemed more concerned about my integrity than anything else. But we were married, and me going down on my husband was far from a scandalous thing. Though the rumours, and the noble circles might blow it out of proportions for some time, who cares? They can blow it out, and I can simply blow my husband.

Come to think of it…. How long has it been since the last time I went down on him?

How long ago was it that I last… satisfied myself?

It doesn’t feel right doing so in our bed, when he’s in deep slumber right there. And he could walk in on me in the shower, though I suppose that’s just wishful thinking.

I no longer know. All I do know is that it’s been long… far too long… And I have to wonder if he really does want me anymore… Because… though I’m only a few years younger than he is, maybe my body has changed away from his liking. Maybe I’m not… firm enough, perky enough, thin enough… Though I don’t think I have changed all that much since we met.

I… think…?

I don’t think I have changed that much. But maybe that’s just him losing his rose coloured glasses.

Maybe…

I sight to myself again as the loneliness I feel wraps around me as if a blanket, but that blanket just makes the warmth between my legs intensify and a knot form into my lower stomach which is trying to grasp onto something that isn’t there.

The door opens and closes behind me, and I hear another heavy sigh.

“My love? You didn’t need to stay up and wait for me,” his tone is warm and caring, but it is also tired.

I can’t blame him for it. I can’t blame him for being tired.

“I know….” I tell him as I walk away from the window and closer to him with my arms wrapped around myself, pressing the silken fabric of my nightgown against my skin even tighter. “And I know that you’re tired, but… there’s… something I want to talk to you about,” I admit, because this has gone for long enough. And there seems to be no end in sight to his schedule, so this night is as good as any.

“What is it?” He asks, and the question is fair. It’s frank, on point, and it is fair.

“I’ve… been… I’ve been wondering if…” I glance at the ceiling, because though this is hard, it’s a lot harder than I think. Because I don’t want to admit that I feel neglected. I don’t want to admit that I feel a yearning for him, even if I do. Though some time back I wouldn’t have as much as blinked about telling him that I want him.

Because I did. I do… I do want him.

“Yes?” His eyes are full of worry. There is a small frown on his face as he stands there, so close to me.

I can feel his warmth radiating through the air, and I can smell the faint scent of his lavender hair oil.

By gods how I miss that scent… I miss busying my nose into those auburn locks as his hands run over my body and I… miss him moving over mine, under mine… in mine…

I miss… him. All of him…

“Tell me, what’s wrong,” he implores again, this time with a tone that is both concerned and unwavering. He wants to know. He wants to know, because he cares. I know as much.

But it doesn’t make it any easier. However, regardless of whether it’s easy or not, I need to tell him. This is something that just needs to be discussed.

“I…” I utter while looking to the side. “I know that you’ve been busy lately, but I’ve…” I trail off again, because though that’s true, it’s only loosely connected to what I want to say.

So, I take a deep breath, and swallow, before whispering: “Do you… still… want me…?”

He takes a moment. But the moment, which must be no longer than a few seconds, feels much, much longer. It feels like an hour, a day, one fifth of an eternity.

“Do I still… want you?”

There is amusement in his tone. It is disbelieving amusement. It sounds like the question is absurd to him. Much more than to me.

“My love… Every night that you’re not next to me, I ache for you. Every day I long for you. And… I know that I’ve been tied to my job far too much as of late, it’s every day that I find myself craving for you.”

He takes a step closer to me. The warmth radiating through the air grows stronger, and I can hear his breathing growing lower, heavier… louder.

His hands take a hold of me…

“I crave… for you…” he whispers like sin, like the words that drip from his lips would be sweet like honey, decadent and filled with lust that he is feeling, just as me.

I turn to look at him, and I press closer to him, but that’s the last thing I realize before finding myself on our bed.

His frame, which is much broader than mine, is over me. His eyes, in the dim light of the bedroom, seem dark, like velvet, but the spark cast by the light of his flames, makes him seem hungry. It tastes like passion, feels like lust, and sounds decadent, like sin itself.

But I don’t mind the sin, not if it’s him.

I don’t mind the way he rips off my nightgown with an apology.

“I’ll buy you a new one…” he half whispers, half growls.

But I don’t mind.

I most certainly don’t mind.

I don’t mind as he pressed his head between my legs, and licksssss…

But it’s just a tiny, little kitten lick with the tip of his tongue.

I can still feel his breath gliding over me, over my clit, over my folds and his right there! But all he does is make the little lick that doesn’t satiate my hunger.

“Please…” I utter, but that’s when I realize that he’s just admiring me, because…

“You look gorgeous from every angle,” he tells me before pressing his mouth against my lower set of lips.

And he is hungry.

His tongue dances around, dips inside of and swirls around as my walls try to hold onto him. I try and I try as I clench the sheets in my fists. It’s been so long, and it feels so good… The way his tongue moves in and out and around in me…

And I want him in!

“Please!” I cry out to him and all he does is press his face harder against my folds as his fingers press harder against the tender flesh of my ass.

He hums, sending vibrations through me, and that’s when my toes curl and I see stars.

But that’s not enough for him.

I can feel his tongue licking around everything that flowed out of me with my orgasm, as he’s casing another high of mine.

His nose is pressed against my clit, and occasionally he flicks it with his tongue. And every time he does, I can’t help but mewl at him. Be-cause! Because… I need him, I want him, inside of me!

And his tongue isn’t enough. It is just not enough!

“Honey! I want-,” I manage through my pants, and I’m sure he can hear the desperation as my legs tremble. As they shake under him.

He lifts his head, and my hips jerk up, as if they’d crave for the touch as much as I do, and my legs open wider for him. Which makes his eyes glance down to my trembling, wet core, and then to my eyes as a smirk, a proud, grinning smirk frames those purple eyes that look like lust and velvet.

“I can’t… take this teasing anymore,” I tell him as my body is already on edge from the stimulation.

“Well…” he utters, looking pleased, and a bit smug, I have to admit. But then again he has every right to look as smug as he does, because he just make me cum for the 4th time tonight. “If you so wish,” he continues as he climbs on top of me and takes off his pants.

His cock is hard. It’s pointing upwards and the tip is oozing with precum.

It is twitching.

And it takes everything in my not to crawl down, shift down under him, against the sheets, and engulf that cock into my mouth.

He has never, properly, fucked my face, and he probably wouldn’t because he prefers me to be able to breathe. But if I did, that’d probably be the closest we’d get to it.

It might be, but I don’t have time to think about it more, as his cock is already sliding over my wet slit effortlessly, teasing my sensitive bundle.

I moan, and I gasp, but not in the way I would if he had inserted it.

He’s teasing me more, and as much as I love it, I hate it. Because this isn’t-, it’s not what I-

I don’t use crude vocabulary in bed. I don’t curse. And I’m bad at dirty talk, but…

“Fuck me,” I tell him.

His eyes open wider. He seems surprised by my words. But the surprise is quickly overtaken by more amusement.

“Breed me!” I tell him.

And he chuckles. He chuckles, but there is devilish intent in those eyes that stare down at me.

“You wish my seed to paint your insides that badly?” He asks with a smirk, and he has every right to smirk.

“Yes.”

And then he pushes in. With one. Swift. Motion.

My back arches, and I see stars again as I cum.

And through the white noise, through the sound of blood rushing in my ears, I hear him chuckle with a pleased sound. He is pleased. Because the way he has stimulated my body to this point, made it possible for me to cum with just him inserting himself inside of me.

“I’m going to cum inside of you,” he tells me, and I love that he tells me, that he whispers it against my ear with that low, sultry voice of his. “And then I’m going to…” he pauses, to choose the words, but instead of what I might expect, he chooses the words, the crude words that I chose a moment before. “I am going to… fuck you, with my sperm still inside of you.”

And by the gods, this man, this man who is my husband, who has talked so eagerly about starting a family with me, is driving me to oblivion in the best possible way.

He pushes in, and out, and in and out and I… loose track of how many times I cum. But when he pushes down once, and hard, and warmth spreads within me, the corners of my lips tug up because I know that he came.

He came and he’s still in me, plugging me up so that all of his seed stays inside of me.

“And now, my love…” he murmurs against my ear as his hand settles onto my cheek.

He lowers down, and pressed a kiss onto my lips. One, hard, passionate kiss…

And then his hand trails down to my neck… his big, broad hand that could wrap around my neck effortlessly… It trails down, and down, and down, until he scoops my legs and he presses me into a breeding press.

“I’m going to rid any loneliness from you,” he promises as his hips pump up. And. Down.

His hips slap against mine, as he pins me down. And his cock reaches all the way to my cervix. It’s like he wants to give it a French kiss.

And he can. He can. He can, he can, he can…

My walls clench around him, and I can feel my fluids mixing together with his between our legs. The damp, sticky feel that I don’t mind.

I don’t mind.

I don’t think to mind.

Because I’m focused on every groove, every vein of his cock as he slams in, and out, and back in me again. The way my body clenches around him, trying to keep a hold of him. Desperately tries to embrace him as he slides out, and then back to me again.

Drool drips from the side of my face as my eyes roll back, and all I can think is the building ecstasy in me.

His breathing rings next to my ear, and it’s growing unsteady. And still…

“I love you…” he murmurs, nearly growls as he slams his hips against mine for one… last, time, pressing himself against my cervix.

My toes curl, and my fingers press against the skin of his back so hard as I scream out his name while coming undone under him.

I can feel my body twitching from the pure bliss. Trying to clasp onto him again. But I’m also growing relaxed as I’m coming around from the orgasm.

He pulls out and lays down next to me as his fingers trail over my skin with a feather light touch. His eyes are on me, looking around, trying to spot any signs of discomfort while simultaneously admiring me.

I turn to my side while catching my breath, and snuggle close to him, against his chest.

“Are you alright, my love?” He asks as his fingers draw circles onto my back; his words cascading onto me like a dawn, like silk and every good thing in the world.

“Yes,” I tell him, while still trying to gasp for air, but there is a smile on my face.

He leans down to place a kiss onto my head before laying down properly next to me, head on the pillow. His eyes are still looking over me, but now the gaze is filled with almost only admiration, no searching for signs of discomfort. Because there aren’t any.

Only those of fulfilment.

He still loves me, and wants me. Just as I still love and want him.

And even when I close my eyes, I can still feel him lying there, his hand carefully tracing over my skin. He’s so close, so very close that I can almost feel his heart beating for me through the air.

But the thing is, I know that it’s there without feeling it. I had simply forgotten it. I had forgotten how he, how this stern, loyal, loving and caring man is when he is in love.

Now I remember, and I never intend to forget again.

[artsy-hobbitses]

Just finished watching X-Men 97 Ep 7 (I love having a series to look forward to on a weekly basis again! Excited to get a good dinner and sit down for half and hour of getting WHIPLASHED by all the new reveals and emotions. It's such a nice thing to look forward to inthe mid-week slog as well)!!!

Thoughts and spoilers below!

They REALLY went all out with Gambit's funeral, and it was nice seeing Nightcrawler carrying out priest rites for the brother-in-law he could have had. Jubilee's anguished anger at Rogue not being there HURT

Holy shit ROGUE. VERY Rogue-centric episode, and it's pain pain PAIN evbery other minute. Her absolute disdain for Captain America not wanting her to be on his team to check out Gyrich because of the tense situation/'optics' is 100% understandable, I stand by women's rights and Rogue's Wrongs in this case. Also her backhanding him with the "America's Top Cop" label, she taking no prisoners this week.

Beast gently but sternly calling out Trish the reporter about how 'tolerance' simply isn't enough anymore and it was a low bar to set for mutant-human relations to begin with, and how he's aghast at the idea of having to give a calming/professional sound byte or something to try and quell mutant protests and demonstrations worldwide after what happened, after MILLIONS OF THEM DIED is. Very relevant. To certain current events. He's been trying SO HARD to be the sweet, professional one, but he is tired and he is sad and he doesn't have it in him to ask for the bare minimum anymore or tell his people they don't have the right to feel the way they do.

We get Diamond Emma! No clue as to whether the massacre has changed her outlook on life since her appearance was during a brief rescue moment where Cyclop's hopes that Madelyne could have survived (Jean said she could feel a telepath under all the rubble) got crushed, but hopefully that'll be answered in the next ep!

Sunspot finally coming clean to his mum about him being a mutant! She seems like a very sweet lady who clearly loves him and takes it VERY WELL, but immediately she's like "Our family is established and in the spotlight, your father's business can't afford this sort of publicity. The world won't accept you, especially given what happened, so we have to find a way to hide this from the public, and that includes cultivating a list of people you can associate with". Which feels like it could be relevant to today's queer acceptance where it's like "On a personal basis I love you and accept you for who you are, BUT..." as an evolution from the X-Men movie's "Have you ever tried... not being a mutant?"

There is a LOT of talk about 'optics' in this episode, which feels VERY TIMELY. And VERY POINTED. How President Kelly apparently wants to send aid to Genosha, but doesn't do it to the fullest extent because he's worried about the political optics from 'normal humans' who are now afraid of an all out human-mutant war, and argues that he's doing his best here and that he needs suppport to stay in office to ensure a 'worse' person for mutant advocacy doesn't step in (I'm not going to lie. Very Democrat argument for why their man should stay in office---look at the boogieman who might be there if they aren't, instead of dealing with issues head-on) . And Cyclops's civil but seething rage at that because this is NOT a time for subtleties or politicking MILLIONS OF MY PEOPLE ARE DEAD.

Nightcrawler comforting Rogue and letting her just bawl openly in his arms during Day of the Dead ;; My heart.

Rogue kills a man. Or, helps him to his death, I'm not sure how you categorize this when Trask was already attempting to jump off a building out of guilt anyway, and she stepped in to stop him, only to let go when he said he had no other info for her (she had initially told him to help them to redeem himself). Again, 100% understandable, I support Rogue's Wrongs, and I LOVE how dark they're taking this, watching our girl step closer and closer to the abyss from her rage and grief and just plunging into it. Also her screaming that Trask deserved it for killing a great man, "MY MAN!!!!!". Whoof.

KNEW Mags wasn't dead. Going to be fun seeing WHAT Bastion plans to do with him now.

Again, STELLAR episode, a good 9/10 from me!

[scekrex]

Hi! I’ve been feeling pretty bad about being Queer a lot recently, (No idea why, probs just seasonal depression) not necessarily in a internalized Homophobia typa way (tho I guess I do have some of that and I have to thank being raised in the south for that ig) but more in a “Oh yeah… a large part of the world wants me to be dead” typa way. Especially this year as there’s going to be/have been a lot of milestones that have reminded me that my life is going to change a lot soon.

I honestly just want Adam to tell me everything’s gonna be fine, in his own Adam way, which definitely involves cursing, probably a lot of cursing, can’t be an Adam fic without it. Maybe some smooches, tho that could 100% just be my simping coming in LMAO.

Your fics honestly make my day whenever I read them and they’ve become my go-to source of serotonin for the day when I’m low. I also made this request mostly to say thank you for putting in so much effort towards your request. I love your work a lot and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day! 💜💜💜

I'm so sorry you feel that way and I really really hope this fic helps ya through it - even if it's just a little. I tried to let Adam act as much in character as possible while also making it fluff <3

And I know the weight of the world can't crush my chest

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language, implied depressed!reader

note: not beta read bc fuck you

Adam banged the door to your shared bedroom open which caused you to flinch and hold the blanket you had pulled over your head even tighter. “Rise and fucking shine, bitchboy,” his voice was loud, he wasn’t yelling, he was just speaking loudly to make sure you would hear him no matter if you were asleep or awake. “Leave,” you quietly responded, your voice was shaking and you sounded like you had been crying for a long time - which you hadn’t. But you were not doing well mentally and the least thing you needed in that moment was Adam telling you to simply suck it up and push through. You had been sucking shit up and you had been pushing through for so long and it only caused you to end up worse.

You felt how the mattress lowered as he sat down next to you. His hand came down to rest where he suspected your head to be, gently pulling the blanket away. The strength to fight against that, to yell at him to simply fuck off and leave you be was not within you anymore so you simply let it happen with a sigh. Why couldn’t he just listen to your words, why was he always doing the opposite of what you said? Was he trying to push your buttons? Well, that time it didn’t seem like it, because when you looked up at him concern reflected in his usually confident eyes. A thing that made you wonder if it was about to turn out differently from what you had thought. “Okay what the fuck crawled up your fucking ass and how the hell do I pull it out without fucking destroying you?” he asked dead serious and despite his weird way of wording it, he actually seemed worried - not only that, he had also offered you help. You had the chance to tell him how to help you.

There was just one tiny problem with that: you had no idea how he could help you - you didn’t even know how you were supposed to help yourself because you weren’t aware what the problem was to begin with. You knew that you felt down, that your body felt like there was no energy left inside of it to keep you going. You felt like sleeping all day and all night for the rest of forever, but that simply would not do. So you remained silent - why speak when you had nothing to say and the energy of your body was almost non existent? Adam sighed at the response he didn’t get and gently ran his hand through your hair - where all those gentle touches came from you didn’t know but you did know that you needed them more than anything. And that was why you leaned into his touch without hesitation. Your eyes fell shut and your body focused on Adam’s touch.

“There ain’t shit I can do, huh?” His voice was quieter now and you appreciate him lowering his voice a little very dearly. That was when the brunette pushed the blanket away entirely and just as you were about to complain about it he replaced it with his wings, pulled you close against his chest and kissed your head. “You fucking know that I have no freaking idea how to properly comfort your sad ass,” and while the way he phrased it would’ve caused others to think that he didn’t care at all, you knew better. It was simply how he talked, even during serious situations. It was his coping mechanism that you had learned throughout the years with him.

You wrapped your arms around the taller angel as you pressed your face against his chest, giving in to the urge to hide away from God’s eyes - from Heaven’s eyes. “Just stay,” you mumbled into the fabric of his shirt as you inhaled his scent deeply. He gave you comfort. The world could turn against you and yet Adam would stay, that was something you knew and that knowledge gave you the comfort you needed. And so did his body warmth, his scent, his presence, the touch of his feathered wings against your bare skin.

Adam sighed again, then he spoke up again, “Whatever the fuck you’re going through, you’re not alone, got that? I won’t fucking leave you to yourself to rot.” You smiled against his chest, placing a soft kiss onto the fabric that covered up his skin as a little thank you. A thank you you were unable to voice, afraid you’d fully fall apart. You didn’t want to cry, not when Adam was doing his best to make you feel better and though you knew you were allowed to cry, you swallowed the tears and simply embraced the comfort Adam was providing.

And for a single moment the world seemed to stop for the both of you and the weight on your shoulders felt less heavy.

[redrabbitspod]

Neiliooooo can you tell us a funny story 🥹

Okay so I don't think this is funny but every once in a while Andrew will stare off into space and let out a lil Andrew giggle and I know this is what he's imagining 😔

So a few weeks ago I was asleep on the couch. It was Andrew's fault because he basically forces me to nap by putting on episodes of Parks and Rec and scratches my head which he 100% KNOWS will have me catatonic in less than 5. He says it's for the quiet but I'm not even loud so whatever.

Anyway so I'm asleep on the couch and in my dream I keep hearing this squeaking sound. It sounds like a sneaker on a hard wood floor so I'm like dreaming about Exy like normal. But it keeps squeaking and so I finally wake up when it's like a really loud squeal. I'm immediately on alert bc idk if you heard but someone tried to rob us and Andrew stabbed him so I thought maybe this guy is back for the fine China or some shit and I'll have to stab him this time but he wasnt. It was so much worse.

When I run into the kitchen there's definitely blood on the floor and Mads is definitely involved because he's just THERE and he's giant and fluffy like normal but he has...something. And that something was a mouse. A bloody and mangled MOUSE. That he MURDERED.

So immediately I'm horrified. I start screaming and panicking because this mouse is DEAD dead and there's nothing I can do and Andrew runs downstairs and sees it and is like MADS GOOD BOY.

GOOD BOY

The way my phone jumped in my hand to dial Abby to start divorce proceedings 😔

Before I can petition to change my last name back, Andrew's like you can't scold him for this, he's protecting our family, this is a GIFT. And like...he's kind of right. This is Mads just catting and he is a fursome beast who was making sure this mouse didn't murder us in our sleep.

So Mads is standing there now, very regal and proud with this poor mouse between his paws and I'm like literally gagging at this point. Im like MADS *hurk* GREAT JOB *uek* SO *gurgle* STRONG.

Andrew is literally guffawing at this. It does not phase him. After he sends me into the other room and cleans up the mouse he's like Neil. My love (jk he would die before saying that out loud). Why is it that I stab a guy and you're casually talking about blood in the grout but Mads kills a mouse and you're screaming like it's the most horrific thing you've seen? And this is a great question because I've seen some SHIT. I was HEIR to a THRONE OF MURDER okay but it's just how it is. A bloody person in distress is 100% fine. Find me some dental floss and a needle and I can probably fix it but an animal?

A teeny mouse?

I still see that little guy. He was so young (probably). He had so much life to live (if the chickens didn't get him).

Anyway, Andrew still thinks it's hilarious and I'm trying to just forget.

THE END -Neilio

[thicctails]

"Viva la Viva, baby!"

So guess who watched Trolls 3 today~

Ngl, based on the trailers I had really low expectations for this movie, and it was really only after watching some TikToks with the villain song in them that I decided to give it a chance, and I'm so glad I did. 3 is by far my favourite of the entire series. Was not expecting to love Viva, but she was fantastic and I wish we had more screen time with her!

While I'm not entirely sure how I will/would integrate her into the Rough and Fluff AU, I decided to make a design for her anyways, complete with some little headcanons/additions. (Click the image for better quality)

More spoilery/AU discussions and 4th movie predictions below!

Okay okay, movie discussion first:

-I fucking LOVE the Putt Putt Trolls. Its so satisfying seeing how the trauma from the bergens being more fleshed out, and it makes perfect sense that they are as fearful as they are. I'm actually surprised there wasn't more pushback when Viva stopped them from executing Bridget and Gristle.

-(How did they escape actually? The tunnels collapsed, but were there other tunnels? Or did they have a different way out? How did so many, including the eldest heir to the throne, get left behind? Why did Peppy not get BOTH his daughter's immediately?)

-On the topic of Viva; notice how her ears are lower/sharper than Poppy's? I think that's typically a more masculine trait (not 100% bc we see some male trolls with softer/rounder ears) so uh yeah MTF Viva real suck my entire nards

-Fuck King Peppy. This guy gets worse every movie. He is the Dumbledoor/Sensi Wu of Trolls. Mans cannot just give Poppy relevant information to save his LIFE. I can understand not telling Poppy immediately, the grief of loosing his eldest daughter would understandably make that hard, but its been over 20 years now, and she deserved to know.

-Also, fuck most of Branch's brothers! I'm glad JD went back eventually (when exactly he did isn't clear, but sometime between the night of the escape and the first movie) but if he assumed Branch had died, why not try and contact his other siblings to tell them? Clay I can kinda understand with him not wanting to venture out beyond the mini golf area and leave the trolls he was helping to protect, but the rest of them? Not one of them tried to go back for their baby brother? Not even Floyd? When Trollstice was a thing?? Branch shoulda thrown hands fr.

-Rhonda the armadillo bus thing was hella cute and I want a plushie.

-I. Do not really like Crimp

-Velvet and Veneer slayed sooooooo hard. I hope Veneer makes a comeback.

-I also hope we see more of the other troll tribes again.

-The music for this movie was absolutely fire and I NEED a full cover of Sweet Dreams

-I wish the Grandma's death was touched on more than once for like .5 seconds. Like, come on guys, your brother just revealed a major trauma, and that your GRANDMA died!! For christ sake, maybe go apologize for fighting?? maybe go comfort him????

Movie numero 4 predictions:

-Broppy marriage. Branch fr said "Lets get married" by accident HES THINKING ABOUT IT

-Either Poppy/Viva get their mom back, or Branch gets one/both of his parents. Dreamworks will pull some bullshit out of their ass and say that uhm actually they escaped like years before the others did and have been, idk, trapped in the shadow realm or something.

-We see Chef/Creek again. Creek redemption ark would go crazy hard IF DONE RIGHT and I want to see that fear of some monster trying to eat all your friends come back again

-Broppy kid reveal at the end of the movie. Unbelievable amounts of Plush Toy Marketing and terrible spin offs ensue.

-backstory/lore/backstory/lore/backstory/lore/BACK

-I just want to see more Trollstice era stuff plz dreamworks

-We get a Sound of Silence reprise

-Branch/his brothers are revealed to be a hybrid/some kind of special troll. I am TELLING YOU this guy adapted to different kinds of music like it was NOTHING, something Poppy and the others struggled with. Hes got something in him I SWEAR

-Tiny diamond is, once again, part of the main supporting characters

Au shiz:

-If Viva IS put in, its going to most likely be during the sequel. Peppy is already going to be dragged through the mud, might have him mention something about a lost sibling near the end of the OG fic, and since the Pop trolls will be looking for a new home, maybe they'll run into her

-Branch's brothers will not be making an appearance. They simply dont fit into the narrative. I may do an alternate au with them included but who knows.

-Mildly considering making Tiny Diamond a Greek kid. (Guy x Creek) would make for some interesting angst.

[got-into-worm-by-mistake]

Agitation 3.10 Live Reactions

(This is me, writing reactions as I read, because why the fuck not. They're not complete, mature thoughts taken after I sit back and evaluate what I've read. Consider them as such)

It's July 4th, work is dead, I've got nothing else to do, let's try to plow through a bunch of these, shall we? At the rate I've been going I'll be at this all year.

The rest of the battlefield was chaos.  Patches of darkness covered everything, and the landscape was distorted.  In some of the areas Vista had warped, the rain wasn’t falling in a straight line.  One spot in particular had the rain moving horizontally before it dropped to help fill a massive puddle thirty feet across, where her power had made an indent in the ground.

I do like Wildow's attention to detail here, and the way these powers just... absolutely fuck everything up like this, and stay like that.

Bitch screamed, and it was a long and primal noise, filled with rage.  I was still inside the bank, watching things unfold through the window, barely able to hear it, and it still made my skin crawl.  So he’d shot the dangerous psychopath with a blast that made her angry.  Someone would have to explain that one to me at a later date.

I'd guess Gallant didn't shoot her with rage, it's just that Rachel's kind of messed up. But I could be wrong.

Seems an odd choice though, if he did.

Apparently that was order enough, because Judas charged at the teenager that was dressed like a science fiction Lancelot.

I love descriptions like this because they both tell us absolutely nothing about how it looks... and also tell us everything. I once read a fic that described the armor of a guy from a culture that went from medieval tech to space travel in like, 100 years (sorta, long story) as being 'Lord of the Rings, with Sci-Fi bolted on' (the POV character was from Earth), and it both told us nothing, and yet, told us everything.

Descriptions are hard, ya'll. Worst part of writing. Props to Wildbow.

Was someone’s power at work, giving me a headache?  There wasn’t anyone in the Wards, I was pretty sure, who could mess with your head like that.  Gallant could mess with your emotions, but he had to hit you with a light blast to do it.  The person on the roof, then?  I was fairly confident there wasn’t anyone in the Protectorate or New Wave who could affect me like this.

No one suspects the healer!

(also no one knows the healer can do this, but)

.  A gun, no less than fifteen feet long, with a barrel three or four feet across, all turret mounted on a circular platform not unlike the board he was riding.

I know technically there is no overkill, just "Open fire" and "I need to reload" but also...

Overkill.

I jumped for cover the moment I realized what he was doing.  There was a muffled sound, more a very large person someone hitting a punching bag than what I’d expect a laser cannon to sound like, and the window exploded. What was he doing?  We had hostages inside.  I turned to check, and saw there weren’t any hostages near me.  Did he know that?  Heat sensors in his visor?  Was someone watching me through the cameras and passing him info?  Damn it!  There was too much I didn’t know, and Tattletale wasn’t around to fill me in.

You know, if Kid Win and Victoria were dating, he could be the Collateral Damage Ken to her Collateral Damage Barbie.

But JESUS Kid, what the fuck?

(Yes, CDB is an incomplete representation of Vicky, but she does earn the nickname fairly at the early stages. I'm also going to assume it's an unfair representation of Kid Win, but still, *Man* wtf?)

The bugs were slow to react, slow to move and some were slipping from my grasp, returning to their instinctive behavior.  Making matters worse, I wasn’t blind to the fact that every time I gave a command, my headache got exponentially worse.

Given that Amy's little messing with the Black Widows only affected them, I'm surprised? Or is this just some sort of Master headache? Is she doing more with the swarm than usual?

 Aegis didn’t try to run this time.  He stood his ground and reached for his utility belt.  He retrieved something that looked like a miniature fire extinguisher. Then he pulled the pin. For the second time in a matter of minutes, I dove away from the window.  It wouldn’t be a grenade, but the option that made the most sense-  I squeezed my eyes shut and covered my ears just in time.  The explosion the flashbang grenade

Flashbang. Much more responsible, Aegis usually is in fic, so presumably in canon too. Tracks.

and Regent was striding out of the darkness, in Kid Win’s direction.

With his outfit and mask that actually probably looks kinda badass.

I whirled to face the voice, and saw the freckled, brown haired hostage that had been glaring at me when we’d first taken control of the bank lobby.  After that, I saw only stars as she slammed something large and blunt into the side of my head.

AMY! :rofl: Finally!

Okay, so like, I get that Amy's not the MC of Worm, but like, I've been waiting for the Fire Extinguisher smash the entire time I've been reading this Arc, so bear with me.

Amy's blorbo, okay?

[spookymystery67]

I Wish I Could Walk In Heels

AN: Took me all day to re-read and edit this chapter and I'm still not 100% happy with it, but it is what it is. I hope you all enjoy it!

TW: Death, gore, zombie dogs, Brian Irons, language, angst, mention of sexual assault, ect. Typical Resident Evil stuff.

September 29, 1998-

Chapter 8:

"Why didn't you tell that man who the cause of all this was?" Claire asked you as she and the rest followed your lead through the streets to the orphanage. You've had to kill a few zombies and zombie dogs here and there. But nothing too extreme that your group of four couldn't handle.

"Because it wouldn't have changed anything. His wife would still be dead. His daughter would have still died. What would he have done with that information?"

"He could have fought with us. Instead of-" Leon started.

"Instead of killing himself? Look Leon, Kendo had already made up his mind right when his wife died and his daughter was infected. He had his chance last night to get out of here and decided to stay. He wouldn't have changed his mind. Not because of anything I would say to him. He didn't know me." You told him firmly.

"You could've-" You interrupt him once more, not bothering to stop your fast pace to the orphanage.

"You could have let Ben and I out sooner if you believed him. If the chips were nearby, you could have saved him. If I had paid more attention and seen Irons coming, I could have gotten Ben and Katherine out of here already. I could have stopped this whole thing a week ago if I wasn't a wimp and just shot William Birkin. Hell, Annette Birkin could have ended it if she shot him. The military could have. The police could have. Umbrella could have. So many possibilities, yet this is what is happening right now." You gestured out to the city as you paused in your step. "And there isn't much control I or any of us have over the situation. Bottom line, stop focusing on what you or I could have done in the past to improve what is happening now. Focus on what you can do right now to prevent shit from getting worse for us later. Okay?" You tell him.

He thought your words over for a moment before nodding in agreement. There is no point in focusing on what could have happened.

"You sound like you needed to hear that more than I did." He commented.

"Yeah, well, it's been a long week." You sighed.

"I just got here. So did Claire." Leon stated, trying to keep conversation going.

"I can tell, you're both nowhere near as filthy as I am." You snorted. "And Ada clearly just got here too. No way in hell she has been running around in those heels all week." 

"What's with you and my shoes?" Ada questioned, torn between amused and annoyed.

"I will admit, part of me is slightly jealous that you can walk in those so easily. I wouldn't be able to wear a pair of heels to save my life." You said, as you glanced at her. "And what's with the sunglasses? It's night time. Are you trying to maintain an air of mystery or something?" You teased, trying to lighten the mood.

"Sure. If that's what you want to think." Ada snorted. You nodded, a slight smile on your face.

Yes. That's exactly what she was doing.

"There's the gate to the orphanage." Claire pointed out. The gate in question had cartoon animals painted on it, so you knew she was right.

You paused when you heard a series of growls behind your group. You all quickly turned to look behind you and saw a horde of zombie dogs running in your direction. Too fast and too many for you to comfortably shoot at the moment.

"Run!" Leon yelled. Your group had no arguments as you all ran toward the orphanage gate as fast you could. Ada in the lead. Which, again, heels. How?

You quickly slammed the gate shut and locked it behind you. You gasped for breath and turned to check on everyone.

"Okay?" They nodded and you nodded back. "Alright. Onwards." You said as you quickly walked up the long cobblestone path to the front door and opened it, briefly escaping the rain.

The place was full of children's stuff. You had two choices on where you could go. Up the stairs or down the hall.

"Maybe we can split up?" 

Just as Leon suggested that, you heard a scream of pain. The voice sounded male. You all quickly ran down the hall toward the noise. A little girl ran into you with a gasp, before quickly hiding behind you.

"You little bitch! You'll pay for that!" Irons yelled, before pausing when he came face to face with you and your handgun pointed directly at his face.

"Hey, Chief. Long time no see." You spat, glaring darkly at the man. You notice burn marks on his face and smirk. "Nice job, Sherry." 

Sherry seemed a little conflicted with the praise. On one hand, she hurt someone. On the other hand, that someone was an awful person who was going to hurt her.

"Seriously, good job." Claire reassured her as she led Sherry further behind the group. Leon and Ada each had a gun in hand just in case Irons tried anything funny.

"Thanks." Sherry whispered shyly.

"Alright, you know why I'm here, Irons. Where's Katherine?" You asked, the gun held steady in your grasp.

He stumbled for a response, eyes darting every which way for a possible exit. Your eyes narrowed.

"Don't make me ask again. Where is she?" You were getting more and more pissed off the longer he hesitated. Your worry began gnawing at your stomach, making you feel a little nauseous.

"There's a girl on the table." Sherry said.

"You little-" you cut him off with a click as you cocked your pistol.

“Shut up. Where, Sherry? In that room?" You asked as calmly as you could, pointing toward the direction she came running from.

"Y-yes. But I don't think she's okay." Sherry hesitated.

Your heart dropped. You grit your teeth and clenched your jaw. You took a deep breath in an attempt to maintain calm. "Really? Well, why don't we go see? Claire, stay with Sherry please." 

She nodded. "Of course. Come on, Sherry. We'll wait in the lobby." She grabbed Sherry's hand and led her away from what is likely about to be a very violent scene.

"You two can do whatever you want. I'm taking Irons here to see the damage." You said to Ada and Leon. You grabbed Irons arm roughly and placed the gun against his head so he wouldn't try anything.

"We'll go with you. In case you need back up." Leon stated. Ada simply nodded in agreement.

Leon clearly wanted to assist you out of the kindness of his heart. You couldn't tell why Ada would help you. Those large sunglasses really do block any minuscule signs of emotion, making it extremely difficult to read her. You assumed that was probably the point.

"Alright, after you. No funny business." You told Irons as you shoved him forward, arm still held tightly in your grasp.

He reluctantly moved forward. He opened the door to the room and you shoved him forward once more when he hesitated in the doorway.

You walked in and examined the room, nearly wanting to throw up as you gasped at the sight before you, letting go of the man's arm in shock.

It was Katherine, lying flat on the table in her pretty white dress. Her skin was paler with a tint of blue to it. 

You hesitantly walked forward and reached out to check her pulse, flinching slightly when you felt her slightly cool skin. Her heartbeat was gone. She hadn't been gone long.

Katherine was dead.

Irons turned to run away once he was out of your grasp, but Leon grabbed him by the arms and Ada quickly pointed her gun at him, making him freeze once more.

Tears were sliding down your face for what seemed like the millionth time today. You had been so close. So close to saving her. But you were too late.

Despite your conversation with Leon earlier, your mind couldn't help but go through the what-ifs and what you could have done differently. For starters, you could have not stopped and wasted your time with conversations. You could have not stopped at Kendo's gun shop and looked through it to see if there was anything of use left. You could have just made a run for it from the police station to the damn orphanage.

What if. 

Could have. 

What could have been.

You sniffled and choked back a sob, turning to glare at the man responsible with pure hatred rolling through every fiber of your being. You hated this man. You loathed him. And you wanted him gone.

Your tears had fallen down your face and you wiped them away, not wanting to look weak in front of the man. You raised your gun at him, ready to shoot his fucking face off. Ada and Leon stood back and watched the scene unfold, guns in hand in case something were to go wrong.

Irons fully laughed at you, deranged and disbelieving. "You won't shoot me, girl. You couldn't. Even if you wanted to." 

You laughed bitterly. "I wouldn't be so sure about that." Your sharp eyes pierced through his. If you didn't know anything about this man, the psychotic look on his burned face would tell you exactly everything you'd need to know. 

He did this.

You walked closer to Irons and held your gun steadily toward him.

"You're going to confirm everything I know. Out loud!" You told him, the venom in your voice and gun raised directly at his forehead showing him how serious you are.

"And why would I do that?" 

"Because I will shoot you if you don't." You pushed the barrel of the gun on his forehead for emphasis.

He went to grab the gun in his holster, but you quickly reared back and pistol whipped him in the face, hard, knocking him back and sending him to the floor, grunting. 

"Toss the gun away, or the next thing I do with this gun is kill you!" You snapped.

He seemed to understand that you weren't joking around. Still sprawled on the ground with a bruised and bloodied cheek, burn marks on his now disfigured face.

He now looked on the outside how he was on the inside, in your opinion. 

Slowly, he grabbed the gun from his side and put it on the ground.

"Slide it to them." You motion with your head towards Ada and Leon, and he reluctantly slid his gun across the room toward the exit, Ada quickly picked it up.

"Stand up, and back up toward the wall." He did as you said, away from any doors or windows to run from, leaving you standing by the table with the body of your dead best friend. But you refused to look away from him.

"Now, I want you to answer everything I ask truthfully. Do you understand?" He nodded, eyes glaring into you. "Did you or did you not accept bribes from Umbrella to keep the police from investigating them?"

"I did." He confirmed.

"Did you or did you not, become in charge of the Raccoon City Orphanage to help disguise Umbrella's use of child test subjects and experimentation?" Leon gasped slightly at the question, not understanding how anyone could go as far as to hurt children in the name of science.

"I did." Irons eyes darted for an exit strategy, but stopped when Ada pointed her gun at him in your support. Leon followed her action by raising his own gun.

"LOOK AT ME!" You shouted angrily, causing everyone to jump and Irons to look at you. "Are you or are you not a rapist and a serial killer?"

"...I am."

"Did you or did you not kill your secretary this June after she uncovered your dealings with Umbrella?"

He glanced away, and you turned your gun and shot it at the wall on his left side. He jumped and shouted in surprise, raising his arms up higher. 

"I did!"

"Did you snatch eight young women off the streets and murder them?" 

"I did."

"Did you turn their bodies into taxidermy? Is that why the police couldn't find their bodies?"

"Yes, I did." His face showed a sliver of sick joy at the thought of it, making you and everyone else feel uneasy.

You walked a step closer, gun held steady.

"You locked Ben up and left him for dead." 

"I did." He spat at the mention of the man. The man who almost gave him away. Who almost ruined everything for him.

"You sabotaged the police department and killed many officers and pedestrians in the process." Your hands began to shake slightly, rage bottling up to an all time high.

"I did." The joy of his deranged features increased.

"You killed, Katherine." Your breathing increased as you attempted to calm your shaking hands and rapidly beating heart. 

"No." You paused briefly, confused. "No, I let her go." He continued. "Then I hunted her down through the halls of the station like a wild animal." 

Your shaking hands increased, heartbeat pounding in your ear drums, yet you continued to hear every word from the man.

"She almost got away. Almost. She would have, if she wasn't so predictable in going toward the cell blocks. She was running to save you. You should have heard the screams. She called for you. Y/n. That's your name right? That's the name she yelled as I dragged the bitch by her hair through the station." Irons mocked.

Tears burned at your eyes and your breathing had turned to hyperventilating. The anger that burned at your chest was practically painful.

"You were supposed to protect them!" You yelled furiously. You were not only implying Katherine, but everyone else who had fallen victim to the horrible man.

"I was never going to protect them. Katherine was a goner as soon as the mayor left her in my care. She was always meant to be my trophy. He just made it easier for me to get her." His laugh was cruel, any sanity within him long gone.

If he ever had any at all.

The laughing was cut off by a bullet to the neck. He froze in shock for a moment, all eyes turned to look at the smoking gun in your hands in surprise. 

You did it. 

You actually did it. 

His injury caught up to him and he collapsed to the floor, choking on his own blood as he took desperate gasps for air.

You pointed your gun down and glanced at the table to your right. You could have mistaken her for sleeping if her eyes weren't wide open. You slowly stepped up to her and used two fingers to close her eyelids for good. 

There, now she looked like she was at peace. Simply asleep.

If only.

Your eyes turned back to the man gurgling on the floor. No, the monster. He was far worse than those things outside. The things that used to be innocent people that you feel you have failed. Maybe if you had done something sooner. But what could you have done? Everyone with power in this city, in this country, was in on it. You and Ben were doomed from the start. 

You stared with distant eyes, ears still ringing from the sudden gun shot, as Irons looked around desperately for any chance of something, anything, saving him. You walked forward as he choked on the floor, crouching down to his level with a dark glare in your slightly red eyes and dried tears on your face as the ringing subsided.

"You don't deserve a quick and painless death. Even this is less than you deserve. It's a pity I can't make this last." You spat, rage still writhing in your chest. You watched as the blood ran down his hands that were desperately clutching at his throat.

"I never wanted to do this. I never wanted to murder anyone. You forced my hand, Irons. You've done too much harm in this world for too long. It's about time someone stops you." 

Fueled by rage and adrenaline, you grabbed him by his graying hair and dragged him out of the room, moving Ada and Leon aside as you walked through the lobby past Claire and Sherry. Pushing the front door open to the yard, you dragged the man to the front gate where the zombie dogs were previously blocked. You pulled the gate open and pushed the choking man through.

You whistled to gather the attention of the zombie dogs that had went elsewhere. The six dogs came running and growling, immediately gathering around the former Chief.

They brutally bit and teared and ate away at Irons. He jerked and yelled through his bloodied throat. The gurgling sound was truly pathetic. You watched with distant eyes as he was ripped apart.

 You didn't feel any better now that he was dead. Your friends were still gone. All those people were still dead. The only thing you may have accomplished just now was preventing Irons from hurting anyone else in the future.

You shook your head to get rid of your thoughts and quickly shut the gate. You took a deep breath to compose yourself, counted to 10, before walking back inside.

"Did you really have to kill him?" Leon questioned as you walked through the door. Him and Ada had moved to the lobby to wait for you.

You glared. "What should I have done? Let you arrest him?"

"Not kill him." Leon said. You sighed in frustration.

"Okay, we get it, you're a great guy. Never change, Leon. But something you should know about me, I don't let people who hurt the ones I care about get away unscathed. And frankly, Irons had it coming. One way or another he wasn't making it out of this city. I sure as hell wouldn't have taken him with me. Would you have?" You asked. 

You maybe could have been a little nicer about it. After all, it was a valid question. Did you really have to kill him?

Murder wasn't right. But your emotions and your anger had gotten the best of you. You never thought you would become a murderer. You never understood how someone could just go through with ending another person's life like that.

You shocked yourself when you pulled that trigger. When you dragged the man who was twice your size out the door to be eaten alive. When you ended his life for good. 

Maybe you were no better than Irons.

Leon looked conflicted. He knew murder was wrong. But all Irons did was hurt and murder people. Should he really be all that upset about it?

He stayed silent and you nodded. What's done is done.

"Great. Glad we solved that problem. Now, NEST?" You looked around for Sherry and Claire. "Where the hell did Sherry and Claire go? They were here a few minutes ago."

"Something spooked Sherry and she ran away. Claire went after her." Leon explained.

"Where?" 

"Over here." Ada motioned to the door. "Any ideas where this leads?"

You reach into your bag for the map of NEST you found when you first went. "That would be the entrance to NEST. I guess we'll catch up to them." You turned to look back toward the room where your friend still lied. 

"Do you want to say good-bye?" Leon asked. Ada stayed silent, letting you decide what you wanted to do next.

You shook your head after a moment. "No. It won't change anything. Let's just go." You started leading the way.

"It could give you closure." Leon said.

"Look, I appreciate what you're trying to do here. But stop. We have a job to do. Plus, I can tell Ada is getting impatient." You stated.

"I could still give you a few minutes." Ada offered. She wasn't as cold at that moment as she had been all night. You were thankful for her and Leon's offer, but you didn't think you would be able to hold it together if you saw Katherine again. It was best to move on. 

No matter how painful it was for you.

"No. Again, I appreciate it. But, no. Let's just move on." You turned your back to the room, not wanting to look any longer.

You walked down the tunnel to the elevator at the end. Once you all had gathered inside, you pressed the button and the elevator began its descent.

"So, what do you want to know, Ada? From what I've gathered, you know a lot already." You said, attempting to break the uncomfortable silence that had surrounded the small space.

"I know mostly everything that you know. I know that Annette Birkins is the one responsible for this mess. And I'm going to bring her down. What I need to know from you is where the G-virus is so I can do that." Ada explained.

The elevator stopped and you all walked out. You followed the map leading you further down the tunnels toward NEST.

"Well, I can show you Birkins lab. We might have to take a look around the facility, though. There were people taking samples of the virus to sell on the blackmarket. So I doubt there is anything left in Birkins lab." Ada nodded in agreement.

"How can they have a whole underground facility without the authorities knowing?" Leon questioned.

"Welcome to corporate America. Umbrella's controlled Raccoon City for years." Ada deadpanned.

"Yeah, Irons was Chief of police and worked with Umbrella, remember? No one was looking for a secret underground facility. Well, no one until Ben and I." You explained.

"You said you were there on the night this all started?" Ada asked.

"Yeah. Looking for intel. I had a man from the inside help me get in here." 

"Get anything good?" 

"Yes. Information on the viruses, and additional things, the scientists were working on down here. What Umbrella did with the kids in the orphanage. Dealings they had with authority figures. I had proof, but I lost it at some point throughout the week." You lied. 

You weren't going to tell Ada you gave the drive away to a S.T.A.R.S member. Truth be told, you didn't really trust her. Or Leon for that matter. They were strangers. The only reason you were still helping them was because they held up their end of the bargain and took you to Katherine. Even though it turned out to be too late, you still appreciated them trying.

"What was yours and Ben's goal? Why go through all this trouble?" Leon asked. You felt saddened at the mention of Ben, but tried to shake it off.

"Well, for Ben, it started out as a good story. He was a private journalist. Hired me when I was looking for a job." You reminisced. "But it slowly morphed from a good story to a need to shut the bastards down. To show the citizens of Raccoon City what their officials and so called "heroes" were really up to. To show the world. We had to stop them."

"A little ambitious for a couple of private journalists." Ada commented.

"Oh, we were in way over our heads." You agreed. "But we already got so far with the information we collected. We couldn't just stop. We had to see it through. And then, well, everything happened." You sighed sadly.

"Are you getting cold feet?" Ada asked. She couldn't tell if you wanted to continue with the mission or if you wanted to back out. She wouldn't give you the option to leave. She needed your knowledge. 

"No. I want to see this through. Even if it kills me. At this point, I don't think that is entirely out of the realm of possibilities." 

"We'll be fine." Leon said, clearly determined to make it and for everything to be alright.

"Hmm, an optimist and a hero, Leon? Never change. From what I've seen, the world could use more people like you." You said.

You made it to a door and Leon pushed you back slightly to open it first, just in case something dangerous was on the other side.

"Definitely Williams handiwork…" A woman said, crouched over a dead body. You all quietly make your way inside.

"Identify yourself!" Leon said, holding up his gun.

Ada held her gun up. "Annette Birkin."

"She's who we're looking for? The one who created the viruses?" Leon asked. You nodded.

"Not much time… Need to dispose of it." Annette muttered.

"We're here for the G-virus!" Ada said.

"Huh, that's not gonna happen." Annette scoffed. She noticed you standing there and furrowed her brow in confusion.

"I'm warning you, doctor." Ada said.

"Oh yeah?" Annette tossed a lighter to the body, setting it on fire and ran away.

"STOP!" Ada yelled. She rushed after her around the corner and you want to follow.

Gunshots went off and Leon quickly went to cover Ada, who was in the line of fire. You stayed ducked behind the wall, out of range. Leon fell to the ground, having been shot through the shoulder. Ada tried shooting Annette, but she ran past a thick, steel metal door as it shut.

"You'll never get the G-virus!" Annette yelled as the metal door shut.

"Didn't expect that from a scientist." Ada snarked. You noticed her sunglasses had been knocked off her face.

"Honestly, I'm not surprised." You said. Leon groaned in pain on the ground, catching your attention.

"Leon…" Ada ducked to the ground, leaning over to check on his wound. You followed.

"Forget about me… Just go… Stop her before she gets away." Leon passed out right after those words. Ada looked conflicted, before she finally decided to stay and help patch up his wound.

"Can you help me patch him up?" Ada asked you.

"I don't really have much knowledge on that stuff. I have a first aid kit though." You hesitated.

"That's fine. Just hand it here and do as I say." Ada said. 

You nodded and kneeled on the floor beside her and Leon, digging through your bag to grab the first aid kit you had.

"Here." You handed her the kit. She nodded her thanks and started patching Leon up.

"So, do you have to do this often?" You asked.

"Do what?" Ada asked.

"Patch yourself or someone up. You seem to know what you're doing." You said as you watched her work.

Ada shrugged. "It's basic training. Everyone in the FBI knows this." 

"Right. And in the FBI, do they also teach the women to kick ass in heels and wear sunglasses in the dark?" You teased. 

Ada snorted and smirked. "The heels again? No. That's just my thing. Why, you interested?"

"In what? You?" You asked stupidly.

Ada actually laughed at that. "No, in joining the FBI." 

You blushed in embarrassment. "Right. Uh, no. After all this, I think I've had enough of corporate America to last a lifetime."

"Hmm, so what are you gonna do? When all of this is over?" She asked as she began wrapping Leon's wound.

"I- I don't know. Lay low? Stay out of trouble for a while. Find some place to live." You shrugged.

"Any ideas on where?" 

"No. I honestly haven't thought about it much. I had a solid thing going on before the outbreak. I had my apartment. I had my friends. I had a job where I was actually doing something that felt important. And as weird as it sounds, despite all of the danger we were putting ourselves in, I was happy." You trailed off.

"And now?" Ada questioned.

"And now it's all gone. All of it. My apartment. My job…. My friends. I honestly don't know how to go on with life after this."

Ada sighed as she finished patching up Leon's shoulder. "One day at a time. That's a start." She stood up and held her hand out to help you stand. You took it.

"We'll go after Annette in a few moments. Take a breather." She said as she helped you to your feet.

"We'll just leave him here?" You asked, referring to Leon.

"Well, we can't take him when he's passed out. He'll be fine. The area is secure." Ada said. You hesitated before nodding in agreement. 

She's right. He's a big boy, he'll be alright.

[lucy90712]

Road to recovery- Part 4

Masterlist How did he find my instagram? Why did he follow me? So many questions were swirling around my mind. I know he asked for my number but I expected just to never hear from him again I mean he's a very famous footballer who has so many friends and fans wishing him well why does he want to talk to me. It felt so surreal that all of this was happening I expected my life to get a bit crazier with training for and going to the Olympics but once that was taken away from me I didn't expect to still be wondering how I ended up here. 

A few of my close friends from school and the gym were quick to message me asking how I was feeling but also freaking out over Pablo liking my post. They wanted all of the details but I didn't give it to them I just gave them a vague story as I didn't think Pablo would want me telling my friends about his personal life. Most of them quickly moved on to telling me I had to try and get him to go on a date with me but I quickly shut them down. As much as I would really love that to happen as I can't lie Pablo is cute and over the day we spent together I have begun to develop feelings I know that it's never going to happen as he could probably have any girl he wanted, someone who is so much better than me in every way. 

After not getting much sleep I went to bed quite early and slept in later than I have in years which to most people still wouldn't be that late but to me if felt like I'd finally had a full nights sleep. Like always I picked up my phone to check what I'd missed while I was asleep and I had a couple messages so I went through them until I got to one from an unknown number. As I read it I could feel my phone slipping out of my hand due to the shock. I quickly added the number to my contacts and typed out a reply as the text was sent a few hours ago and I felt bad for not replying sooner. 

Pablo

Hey it's Pablo I hope you're doing ok. Thanks for keeping me company in the hospital it was really nice to have someone to talk to. I really want us to keep in contact so feel free to text me at any time 

You

I'm doing as well as I can, I hope you're ok too. I'm glad you text as I wanted to thank you for keeping me feeling positive without your encouragement I don't think I'd be feeling as hopeful about my recovery. Also if you ever need anything you can text me too 

Pablo 

Don't worry about it you helped lift my spirits too so I had to make sure you felt the same I'm just glad we have each other and I really do mean it when I say if you need anything just text me 

You

Thank you I really appreciate it 

Just reading those texts made me smile. Maybe this injury isn't such a bad thing after all especially if I end up with a friend like Pablo.

Gavi's POV

Since I woke up I've written and rewritten a text to Lola probably 100 times. I want to text her as I really do want to be at least friends with her and I don't want her thinking that I just asked for her number to be nice and that I won't actually keep in contact. I just have no idea what to say I want to come across friendly but we don't know each other well enough for her to know how I text. Eventually I just decided to hit send but then I just kept checking my phone to see if she replied. The longer that went by the more I started to worry that she didn't actually want to hear from me or that I upset her somehow. Eventually I had to stop myself as there is so many plausible reasons that she hasn't answered me yet and I'm only making myself feel worse by thinking about it. 

There's not a whole lot I can do but I found something to watch to keep me distracted for a while. It worked until I heard my phone sound out from across the room and I couldn't stop myself reaching for it. As soon as I saw the text was from Lola I typed my passcode in at lightning speed and finally opened the message. 

She's so sweet I can't believe I was so cold to her at first I'm so glad she didn't take that to heart as having her to talk to has been so nice. Having someone who's going through the exact same thing and knows the struggle I think will really help both of us which is why I wanted to keep talking to her that and because she's so beautiful that I can't just let her leave my life without getting to know her properly. I don't know if it was because we were forced together or what but I found myself developing feelings for her and not feelings I've felt with any other girl so I have to see where that goes or I know I'll regret it later in life. 

I so desperately wanted to see her again but I know that we both need a bit of rest before we start doing too much and realistically we don't know each other that well and I don't want to move too fast and make her uncomfortable. I'm hoping that we can keep talking to try and get to know each other better and then maybe I can ask to see her in person again as I already miss seeing her smiling face across the room from me. 

A/n: sorry this is short it's kind of a filler 

[nicoleanell]

I would love to hear your meta on the scene from Renfield with the priest and the vampire hunter, if you’d be willing to share!

SURE, THANK GOD YOU ASKED.

My thing with that scene is it was peak Give Renfield A Hug and also the most irredeemable thing he does in the movie short of destroying some kid's ant farm, and that instantly made me fall in love with him.

I like the fact they made Renfield an aggressively sympathetic character and at the same time not wholly innocent. Robert Montague Renfield is neither a good guy or a bad guy but he deserves to be okay. (Also he may come off way more "sane" as movie Renfields go but he's not a well person lol, and the fact he's in an all-gender support group for abuse survivors very rapidly becomes not so much A Joke as it is the Entire Point of the movie.)

In the flashbacks, it's totes played for comedy and riffing on the 1931 movie and there's a little bit of an "unreliable narrator" vibe to it when Renfield's like, it was good we had great times etc. :))) We don't really know how in control of himself he is or how much he's whitewashing. But then we get the church/vampire killer thing and there's like... the first seed of something more real going on. The movie tells us upfront that the last time Dracula was almost defeated he stopped it, willingly, and it wasn't normal vampire enthrallment stuff as much as a very human emotional choice.

There's some heavy-handed manipulation happening and it's *completely* non-supernatural. They'll lock you away. I'll protect you. I care about you. And Nic Hoult's big woobie eyes hold all the sadness and isolation and genuine hope/desire to be loved, and it's unhealthy attention but there's nothing better out there for him. 🥺 <- emoji rendition of Renfield and also me.

Oh and for good measure his "he really means it this time" internal monologue is 100% meant to sound like toxic/abusive boyfriend stuff he's echoing from the support group, which is A Joke in this movie until it's not anymore.

(Side note, I saw you mention this in another post - the mental institution headcanon is Valid. I would've liked for it to be explicitly in there somewhere but as far as I'm concerned nothing *contradicts* it and it's one of like 3 facts people associate with Spiders Georg over here. So I'll take that crumb that the threat of him getting locked up is just as likely to be in an asylum (again) as a jail. And yikes the legitimate fear of that being WORSE than the hell he's currently in.)

And the second he does the thing, some priest *completely proves Dracula right* by immediately throwing more guilt and blame on Renfield and being like YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYONE ELSE HE KILLS NOW. Which, fair! But also, dude, you're being the opposite of helpful here! Lmao fucking Catholics. He knows this! It's why he can't get out! Of course he chose Dracula and he did it on purpose and he did it because of trauma and it *cemented* him being trapped forever. This is the climax of an entire other movie in which Renfield is probably not the main character but would definitely end up my problematic fave anyway.

SO YEAH. Between that and the reveal he left a whole wife & kid, there's such an interesting theme of guilt/shame on top of self-esteem and learned helplessness issues I was not anticipating in this movie. It's important for him to get to a place of: "I want to blame this legitimately awful monster but I also did SOME of this to myself, and when I can accept that without immediately going into a fetal position, it gives him less power over me."

Does not remove his power completely! 'Cause Renfield 2023 is also not, like, saying that you can just Easily Decide To Leave Your Violent Abuser. But the affirmations about being enough and deserving better and seeking better in spite of having failed or fucked up before are important.

[thechaoticfanartist]

I am asking about Grim as Maul’s apprentice as requested boss 🫡 it sounds super fun and I wanna hear about it

Okay so I haven't figured out the specifics or if it's going to be an AU closely tied to Grim's canon or canon altogether, but anyways:

Grim being Maul's apprentice is only temporary. For only about 3 or 4 years.

It's during the Empire. Like Grim has only just gone out of hiding and joined the Rebellion when this happens.

She actually still does some stuff with the Rebellion, but not as much in this time period

The fact that this starts so early into Grim joining the Rebellion is integral for this Master & Apprentice relationship to even start. She's very emotionally unstable when she first starts fighting the Empire. She hasn't begun healing. Her years in hiding actually made it harder for her to process everything that happened. So she still holds a lot of that resentment and anger from Order 66. Something that Maul takes advantage of.

Maul is 100% convinced of Grim being Obi-Wan’s biological daughter and frequently refers to her as if she is.

Grim doesn't even bother to correct him. As this is the Empire era she has actually been adopted by Obi-Wan so it's not like she can say she's not a Kenobi after that.

This whole team-up/apprenticeship happens because of their mutual hate for Sidious. They did actually team up against him in TCWGANV. This is just an extended version of that.

A very extended version

Maul is making Grim so much worse she's having a villian arc

On the opposite end of that Grim is kind of attempting to give Maul a redemption arc (is it working? Hard to tell. It doesn't help that Grim is in her cunty villian era)

Oh yeah Maul is still running Crimson Dawn so I guess Grim is also kind of a crime lord now

Mostly a Sith(?) Apprentice with some bonus crime on the side

Despite being an apprentice to a former Sith, Grim refuses to bleed her lightsaber or make a separate red lightsaber

She's very passionate about this

Unfortunately for Maul Grim is actually still very defensive of her father and will get mad at him very quickly when he's insulting him

Either that or she annoys the fuck out of him implying or straight out saying he's gay for Obi-Wan

They make each other so much worse at times

Grim & Maul also kind of realize how similar they are in a way (Grim & Maul parallels anyone??? Guys hear me out hear me out-)

Their relationship is naturally very fucked up and toxic and Grim absolutely knows this

Eventually Grim decides to leave Maul (I'm not sure why yet) and they have a whole fight scene

It's a very close match actually

But Grim still manages to get away and goes back to playing a bigger role in the Rebellion

I kept getting more ideas while writing this post thanks for asking me about Grim as Maul's apprentice