#he's just a mess like the rest of us
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#aaaaand just like that he's gone#(feels so surreal doesn't it?)#well done starlight#you okay tho#no seriously#you still with us?#hey-#WELL IM DEFINITELY NOT OKAY THIS SHIT HAD BEEN SITTING IN MY WIP FOLDER FOR A M O N T H#do you wanna know why#KAZOODOOR THAT'S WHY#BITCH KEPT MESSING EVERYTHING UP#DUDE YOU'RE DEAD HOW CAN YOU STILL BE SO ANNOYING#THIS ISN'T EVEN ABOUT YOU YOU'RE JUST A DECORATION HERE#REST IN PISS#NOBODY MISSES U#RRRRRRRAAAHHHHHHHHHHH#well at least our little star seems fine#he's not even crying#looks like he may in a second tho#BUT as art is all about CAPTURING THE MOMENT here's the moment where he's NOT crying#yet#and would you look at that I'm disrespecting the rules of anatomy again#kazoo's spine is broken#THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR KEEP MESSING UP MY PICTURE#Astarion did the stabstab I did the crackcrack#no regrets#astarion#bg3#baldur's gate 3#astarion fanart
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*You’re starting to feel very sleepy... (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Gaster#Sans#Papyrus#Mostly silliness and randoms but also a little two-panel for funsies ♪#Always with the miserable Gaster! Pre-void tho just when he had cracks in his face#Would you please let your friends heal you just once you mess of a skeleton - you're not going to let your sons do it so!#Angy Snas <3 I'm really happy with how that one turned out haha#He really has such a cute face! Even when he's mad!#It's the big eye sockets I think - his mouth is quite fun to draw emoting other than a smile too :)#So disheveled! Your shoulder's gonna get so cold and then you'll be even meaner! Lol#Various babybones sleeping positions <3 Sans up top exemplifying the cat pose#Initially it was supposed to be that one sleeping position kids do where they sleep all middle-scrunched but the rest splayed out?#Does anyone know what I'm talking about lol I used to sleep like that when I was a littley#He does look very cute tho <3 Skeleton loaf ♥#Papyrus starfishing haha - either rolled away while sleeping on the floor away from Sans or they're sleeping mismatched#Otherwise Sans would definitely be curled up in any of the many negative spaces lol#Maybe that last sleeping Sans is the matching one! Just lost the energy to get all the way up onto the cot haha#Laying on his back and kicking his feet up and finally just dozed off like that haha#More sleepies! You cannot escape them Papyrus!#Sans knocking out at a moment's notice and dragging Papyrus with him - started early! Just so comfy together#Gaster just ;/ at Papyrus complaining lol he wants to run around and play!#Gaster has a lot of work to do and it would be a lot easier if things were quiet for a little while let your brother lead naptime#I do love his whiny complaint haha ''YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I'M /SLEEPY/!!'' ''...Yes?'' ''NOOOOOOOOOOO'' Lol
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local man haunts (me) open practise yet again more news at 11
#txt#what an experience#i didnt go alone this time which means shenanigans heightened by 20#and by that i mean we were by the glass drinking mate (that security thankfully let us bring in)#and ___ kept going (lifts mate up to the glass) quieres? to all the players that skated by#and i had to just go STOP THAT#and they went they dont want our mate hmph what do they know about mate and i went. well thats the thing. they dont 😭😭#theres was a bunch of kids next to me which meant a lot players over to our side and ekky trucked over#and knocked the glass w his stick on a driveby and scared the shit out of me I ALMOST DROPPED MY MATE he had this shit eating grin#maffhew also kept doing little toodle-loo waves at the kids behind him it was so cute 😭😭😭#but anyways i think its so funny ___ kept focusing on ekky too and i didnt realise why until they just drop the bombshell of#“they remind me of your brother” and i went “DONT FUCKING SAY THAT WHAT THE FUCK MAN DONT SAY SUCH SACRILEGE”#the rest of the convo was in spanish and i dont know how to like fully convey 🇦🇷 banter in eng but it roughly went#“no he does. he has the same dumb face when he starts shit (because he kept bodily bumping into boqy and forsy)#the same 'was that me? did i do that?' troublemaker face. hes a shit stirrer but never answers to it. hes sleazy in that way.#he has the same beard too dont you see it“#and then i promptly spent the whole time going god he is just like my older brother oh this is a horrifying revelation oh god#anyways they kept saying look at his dumb face look at it just like your brother the whole time in spanish when he crept near#and i had to go SHUT UP PLEASE HE CAN HEAR YOU to which they snorted and went you said its fine if we spoke spanish here theyre not gonna#understand us and i was like OKAY BUT IM SURE 11 YEARS HERE HES GONNA PICK UP#SOMETHING AND WE KEEP CURSING SO FOR MY SAKE CAN YOU SHUT UP#mikksy and schmidty were super playful with eo. tuomo ruutu kept messing w mikksy. and ekky was like a damn bumper car bumpin everyone#maffhew ofc was very dramatic when he couldnt get a goal in against knighter and he did the horse headshake in front of us#and i went “you can tell whos number 19 because hes the most dramatic person on the ice always”#ekky was super vocal i know he wanted to practise against the empty net but aj was practising tipins and he goes#MOVE OUT OF THE WAY. MOVE OUT OF THE WAY. and aj so confused just moves like ???#and ekky notches one in goes over to him and waves his glove at him to move#also dmen + lundy were practising on my side of the ice afterwards (lundy ekky uvis kuli. kuli was practising solo. lundy was feeding ekky#for some slapshots uvis got some passes in with them) and anyways i did not fucking realise swaggy was still out because i was so focused on#the dmen until he shot a puck straight at my face and like man i know its not personal but damn did it feel personal with the lookback
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welt makes his daughter wear a cute butt plug btw 💗
#𝚜𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚔𝚕𝚎𝚜 ⪩⪨ .𖥔 ݁ ˖#weltie ❤︎#tw:incest#it’s starting already I fear . .#I can jus see him leaning back into a chair nd u can’t rlly make out his expression from the glare in his glasses#but u can tell he’s needy from his grip on arm rests nd how he adjusts ! !#welt tells his litl girl to turn around cuz he wants to see his little treat#‘lift it up — just like that ange . you know what to do .’#! ! then then then thennnn he makes you bend ovr so he can see da pink jewel in your litl ass#even touches ur ass cheeks and spreads em so he can da mess ur making#‘papa can’t wait to use this litl hole. jus be patient ‘#‘papa promises to be gentle . gnna stretch it with my cock#+jsjsbd!:!:$:&:&: OK M DONE
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Magnificent Century Rewatch: One Picspam per Episode
Episode 17: The Double Joy
-My dear mother used to say "walk barefoot on earth and it shall take away all your troubles and sorrows, earth shall give you happiness and joy"
-Your mother spoke well, one can only find peace in earth. But I'm not sure if it is on earth or in it.
#the quote is a little bit silly but it adquires seriousness when you know everything that comes later#especially because it's hurrem's mother's quote from when she lived in ruthenia. when peace was possible. when she was going to marry leo#and had her future all planned. and there was stability#but the joke is suleyman's. after all becoming part of his family is what brings that ambiguity to the quote for hurrem's story#as it could be argued she never found true peace. at least for the most of her life#but also suleyman speaks in general terms here. so the quote can be extended to all the characters and in this episode of double joy it's#even more significant. because peace it's going to go sooner than later. and the signals of future ibratice problems are already there#and just as the birds are partly symbolic of that temporal peace and joy in love for hurrem the gifts the marriage gets are very important#as well#this episode is just gifts gifts gifts all around#suleyman's necklace for hatice has the tulips of the dynasty and it's something ibrahim himself recognizes could never give her#she says she's always going to have it w her. tho i don't remember seeing it too much in her tbh sdfy#in the other side ibrahim gets a lot of gifts. but the one that reminds him of his origin is his father's ofc. and he says he will always#have it with him as well. and later he gets suleyman's ring [i'm w haticehurrem. this totally looks like a subrahim wedding asfg]#which goes to remind us that he's now officially part of his family as well. he returned but he converted again. and THEN there's the table!#and taking away the politic alliance it could signify. it is venetian. his mother's heritage is there. in all the palace. and in the same#episode hurrem mentioned her mother's saying. the dynasty [or at least the most conservative side represented by ayse] it's unconfortable#the converts are not only winning more power and getting closer to the family. but they're also bringing their cultures & traditions to the#*ba dum tss* table#there's more to the whole return/convert and how it shows in the ibratice palace especially later w the statues but if i ever write about it#it deserves a post of its own ofc [and prolly someone that knows what they're talking about more than me lmao]#noo why did i write so much 😭 i should've done a separate post this is a mess to be under an already long picspam#anyways there's other significant gifts as the clock that musti likes or mahi's lucky charm for selim. and also the ones we already knew:#the ibratice gifts together 💝. and these contrast a lot with the rest because it's something of their own. when the couple was separated#from dynastic or even ibro's family. will they ever find peace again? we'll see it in the next episode [i'm lying]#maybe i should organize this in a post of its own#magnificent century#muhtesem yuzyil#mc1picspam4episode
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you know what's absolutely fucked (besides my inability to say a single sentence without cursing) is that I think that somehow, however improbable or disgusting this truth is, riko's abuse is at least half the reason why jean is still alive right now. (please bear with me) and I mean still alive as in the reason why he hasn't killed himself yet rather than someone else doing it.
idk quite how to explain but like, we can acknowledge that the nest and the ravens was a cult, right? and it's quite obvious that the ravens have been essentially brainwashed in their own ways into believing that the whole situation is normal and that's just how life has to be for them to achieve their goals and dreams in the future. but they don't know about the extent of the abuse that riko was inflicting on Kevin and jean and also Neil for his brief stay. (whether they had suspicions is besides the point because I suppose if it didn't affect their futures then there was no reason to care)
so the fact that a lot of the ravens end up killing themselves after the nest has been dismantled in tsc is almost entirely because of the brainwashing and the reliance they had on that awful structure.
however
as we see in tsc jean is also battling with trying to adjust to normality again, but the fact that he is actively trying says everything. sure, he's angry at everyone and makes empty threats and all the rest of it, but the fact remains that he is still willing to embrace change and learn and reluctantly heal. especially once he's with the Trojans, we don't really see jean deliberately working against what is being offered to him. sure, he makes mistakes and he gets angry and he struggles to cope BUT!! I don't think he's doing any of that intentionally because of course he's going to slip up on occasion. you don't just live in a hideous abusive situation for 5 years and then magically escape from it unscathed.
(I promise I'm actually getting to my point soon I'm sorry)
the reason he can go on and try and understand that killing himself isn't an option is because he knew that what happened to him in the nest was wrong and bad and evil. and whilst he still says things like he deserved it, I don't think that overshadows his understanding that it was still wrong. so whilst the other ravens had all accepted that this cult was the correct way for them to get what they wanted, horrifically enough I think riko's abuse is what kept jean aware that it wasn't normal.
so in some backhanded absolutely twisted and sick way I think the difference between jean and the rest of the ravens (particularly those who killed themselves) is that the abuse was so real and tangible to jean that it shattered any reliance he could ever truly have on the nest and is at least in part the reason why him killing himself on the phone to Kevin would never be as plausible as him finally clinging to an opportunity and trying to heal..
#that and the fact that he'd seen kevin and neil escape and manage to heal#heal in quotation marks i guess 🥲#idk im sorry this was so long i was thinking about this for ages today#obviously i have never been in a cult or some long standing physically abusive situation like this either#so please feel free to check me if you dont think what ive said is accurate#i am just word dumping so if anyone wants to expand or improve this mess please do lmao#half of me wishes the rest of the trojans could know just how bad the nest was just so they could understand that jean truly is trying#jean moreau#the sunshine court#the sunshine court spoilers#tsc#aftg#aftg spoilers#all for the game#aftg series#riko moriyama#kevin day#neil josten#sorry this has so many tags my brain is loud#another thought: him noting that andrew could use bee to overcome his trauma is very important in jeans healing journey imo#it shows hes considering using the same thing
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home from work
#if I speak…#one of the girls walked out yesterday#the best worker we have is on the verge of blowing up on this bitch’s leaders bc since he can do everything quick and efficiently already#they’re putting 3 to 4 ppl’s workloads on him to see how far they can extend his worth and then they’re over his shoulder the whole time#micromanaging him so today he almost lost it and was literally walking around mumbling about his disrespectful they all are (facts)#and how if they don’t think he’s doing it right then they can do it and I know for a fact one of the ladies heard him#bc he wasn’t even trying to hide it at this point and like this dude is cool he has a lot of patience and helps out any way he can#so if HE’S on the brink of snapping then the rest of us don’t stand a chance LMFAO#anyways today was a fucking mess those leaders know nothing about our store yet so they have us making less than what we need until we need#it so we get behind constantly and they made prep a disaster bc again they think they can just prep a bunch of stuff in the morning#and it’ll last the whole day and yes that works in theory but the reality of the situation is every day is different and today#we sold double what we did yesterday so they had to move me to prep to fix their mistakes bc we were running out of stuff 4 hours in lmfao#and I’m the only one left who knows how to do everything on prep bc the other girls had never done it before#we’re supposed to prep 20 mac n cheese trays in the morning for the whole day#we open lunch at 10:30 tell me why I go into the cooler at 12 put more in the oven and there’s only 5 left#it’s been less than 2 HOURS and you’re already running out of macs which means those idiots prepped barely anything just to try and save mo#*money to cut down waste but that gag if you’re losing money bc now you’re short on everything and customers are leaving bc they’re having#to wait a long time for their food#and macs take 40 minutes to cool LMFAO#I get over there they’re out of parfaits they’re out of fruit cups they’re out of kale salads the front is coming in and having to take#stuff as I make it bc they keep getting orders and it’s all just a fucking mess#I have to make a custom wrap and what happens?? those morons didn’t pull the flatbreads out of the freezer like they’re supposed to every#night so now we have no flatbread and I had to run back there and put them in the warming drawer to defrost and we lost an order bc I had#nothing to make the wraps with <3#I go back there to get more cold chicken SPOILER ALERT they didn’t have anyone make any this morning so now there’s no chicken for the wrap#and salad and it has to be grilled and then chilled for 2 FUCKING HOURS before it can be used#they’re a fucking disaster like 😭#was the store perfect before?? ofc not but it ran quickly and efficiently as it should and now it’s literally just a mess#this bitch hasn’t even owned it for a full week yet and has already fucked it all up#womp womp!!!!!!
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no I’m incredibly serious.
joel and ellie?? father and daughter at ellie’s wedding?? their little father and daughter dance?? the emotions?? joel being an absolute wreck??
#I’m DEAD serious ok#I think about it very often#a little too often#Joel hugging her so tight#A FIRST LOOK???????#CAN YOU IMAGINE THEM DOING A LITTLE FIRST LOOK AND JOEL JUST#HES SO. HIS FACE IS RED AND HE GETS THE BIGGEST GRIN ON HIS FACE#AND A LITTLE LIKE#‘wow’ IS ALL HE CAN MUSTER#and he says she looks beautiful and she just laughs and he hugs her so tight but so so gently#as to not mess up her hair or makeup#and them dancing????#just a little steppy step back and forth#Tommy with a big ass grin on his face as he watches Joel’s dream come true#Ellie’s small hand in Joel’s#Joel holding so tight and running his thumb in little circles on the back of her hand#her resting against his chest as they sway back and forth#his lips in her hair#I’m gonna lay on the highway this plagues me day and night#the last of us hbo#joel miller#ellie williams#the last of us
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playing ff.xiv blind as a th.ancred fan from the beginning is so funny. “hmm i wonder where than is- WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE WAS POSSESSED BY ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL BEINGS IN THE UNIVERSE….....” “hmm i wonder what happened to than after he was teleported from the- HIS ABILITY TO INTERACT WITH THE NATURAL ENERGY OF THE WORLD WAS SEVERED AND HE HAD TO FEND FOR HIMSELF FOR MONTHS IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE????” “yaay than gets to help us with planning our defenses :D- DID HE JUST DIEoh he’s not dead his soul was just RIPPED AWAY TO ANOTJEJR WORLD????!?!?” “ohh he gets to fight r.yne’s awful guardian figure i wonder what he’s gonna- DID HE JUST DIEoh he’s fine nevermind he gets to have resolved character development now :)” “aww okay we get to go to the end of the universe together, and he’s already gone through so much so clearly nothing bad will happen to hDID HE J
#lem text#🌊#xivposting#he never ever ever ever gets a break it’s so funny. i’m sure the game is done messing with him now for dt but AGJFNWZKR#literally as SOON as the i.frit fight happens in arr he never gets to rest until the end of shb.#like okaayyy *overworks self to the point of aetheric vulnerability or whatever -> is used as a tool for bringing about a terrible calamity#-> teleported to the wilderness never able to use magic again or interact with the world normally; unsure if friends are alive for months#-> learns that sister-figure is missing and then learns that she is basically dead -> angst arc while trying to hide all of problems#-> thinks he gets a chance to rest and is literally yoinked from his world on accident with nothing he can do about it;#forced to adapt to a whole other planet overflowing with its own tragedies with no way of contacting anyone he knows#-> discovers that sister-figure has been basically reincarnated; takes on responsibility to save her#-> manages to do so after TWO YEARS but still hasn’t gotten over grief -> has to be a parent on the run with daughter-figure now#-> waiting as random stranger tries & fails to summon the hero from his world; evading government in a land only a fraction the size of his#-> spends THREE MORE YEARS running from authorities with daughter who reminds him too much of sister-figure; is still hiding all problems#-> can only solve his problems by almost dying; apparently. does so. life becomes good until he decides he has to almost die again#-> DOES SO. and then life becomes good again. problems mayhap still not processed. average th.ancred waters lifestyle#i think his story has a big theme of like. lack of agency; and i could talk more about it but i just think it’s really interesting and sad-#that his whole childhood (limsa+sharlayan) was out of his control with his life path being chosen for him out of necessity+circumstance#he was brought to sharlayan so young and then The Incident happens at *17* indebting him to min.filia bc he sees himself responsible#and then gigantic life-changing things happen to him *also* out of his control (hinterlands+the first)#and when he finally gets to pick a long-term route for himself he fucks it up! doing everything intentionally but hurting r.yne for years!#he’s the FIRST ONE SUMMONED TO THE FIRST… A NEW WORLD… IT WAS LIKE A FRESH START… AND AUGJF HDH . IDK DO YOU GET IT.#i haven’t written this many tags in forever i guess i have to put it in the:#lem ramblings#ok i’m done. thancrebbbbbdd <3. goodnight <3.
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well that was something
#angryborzois rambles#holy shit this is a long story#basically as a class we all went to this historic place on the top of a mountain (we had to do a long hike to get up there)#and a friend and i decided to stay afterward to mess around#my friend wanted to reenact kny scenes so i was like ok lets do it (shh we're idiots with zero brain cells)#and the place was pretty cool to hang out in soo why not#but soon it started thundering in the distance so we decided to start heading down the mountain#it was all shits and laughs until we made it down the mountain (tho we heard a weird noise once and got scared bc what if its a boar)#once down the mountain we had to navigate the woods around the area to get to the station#it was a very long route and on top of that it started pouring heavily#and anyway we walked for a long ass time in the rain when we encountered a suspicious person#it didnt help that before we saw this guy we saw a poster for a wanted criminal in the area#the guy was way ahead of us but we sensed bad vibes from him so we tried to let him walk ahead but he just...waited for us??#(he was in the direction we needed to go)#for a couple minutes we tried to trail way behind him but every time we stopped to let him walk on he would suddenly stop and stall#after a while we completely stopped for a few minutes to observe and in response he hid in the bushes?? so we decided something was def up#we were very alarmed and we quietly snuck out of his view and then ran for it#i genuinely worried that maybe we were gonna get killed in these woods#we backtracked a little and took a different path that went in the direction we needed to go#i was a little concerned because at one point the path had an intersection that merged with the first path we were in#but i didnt want to risk cutting through pure woods and i wanted to be at the very least on an animal trail than anything so no choice ig#and so we quietly snuck past the intersection but thankfully no one was around#a few minutes after that we heard a weird radio voice?? so we freaked out and ran the rest (prob unrelated but u can never be too sure)#and after a while of pure stress we made it out of the woods and to civilization#i was drenched but oh boy i was so happy#my friend and i agreed though that it was fucked up that we had to be more scared of a human than the wilderness#but everything after that was fine#im honestly glad it was pouring though because i think it helped cover the sounds of us getting away#well tbh i have a feeling he prob saw us get away but just didnt bother chasing bc the paths were muddy as hell and he was kinda far#but yeah that was def smthing
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(MAJOR) WELCOME HOME OC DUMP this is tony... i love him a lot
SORRY TO JUST PUT THIS ALL HERE I JUST ENJOY HIM A LOT he is my silly big eyes emoji (THESE ARE FROM OLDEST TO NEWEST BTW)
(the mob au is by @clownsuu !! i hope it's ok i put him in your au runs away collapses)
(OH AND DREAM CIRCUS AU IS BY @masked_constellations ON TIK TOK)
#welcome home#welcome home oc#welcome home au#welcome home oc art#barnaby b beagle#oc x canon#tony tip oc#GAHHH THERE IS A LOT#im very nervous to tag clownsuu if you see this HELLO i put him on top so you dont have to see the rest of my insane mess#he's my beloved i want to spread the tony agenda#silly café owner!! that knows a lot!! that definitely can't be used for lore angst#(read: it totally can)#(and it has)#giggles evilly#im hyping myself up to post this rn like JUST DO IT and im just IM TRYING
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*waves* I've been sitting on this ask for awhile but I feel ready to share. FFS came at a time when I really needed it. The scene where Ef is talking to the dietician gave me courage to start looking and a few months ago I was accepted into a eating disorder program and began working with my own dietician and food therapist. And it's hard. Sometimes I feel like I don't belong there or that I'm a fraud. I don't know what my goals are w/eating. But I'm trying and your story got me started. Ty ❤️❤️
Hi anon,
I'm so proud of you for seeing a dietitian and food therapist! I think it's incredibly normal honestly when you have an eating disorder and/or disordered eating to think of the absolute extremes of eating disorders and then think 'I shouldn't be here.'
It's normal for us to minimise what we're experiencing, and while I haven't had your experiences, I have had the experience of... having an eating disorder, not realising because I'm fat (it is a restrictive eating disorder, and I did not think this was possible), seeing a dietitian and sort of sitting there like 'yeahhhhh but you don't really think I have this right?' while she metaphorically shakes her and my doctor's assessments at me with an angry look on her face.
It is really hard, because food is like, well we have to do it. And it's hard to do well, because there's a lot of industries absolutely hell-bent in making us hate our bodies, in making us want to eat certain ways or not eat in other ways or avoid macros, because sometimes it's a way to get control, because sometimes we have chronic illnesses and we associate eating with pain, etc. etc. Whatever the reason, it's ever-present and confrontational.
My first serious bout with severe self-harm in years actually came after my second-ever meeting with my dietitian, because we spent an hour talking about my food scarcity experiences in childhood, and I genuinely, genuinely had no idea that it would cause my PTSD to relapse that severely and that quickly.
And I still think, after a year, 'but I don't need to be here do I? This isn't that serious is it?'
Anyway, I know from that, you are absolutely 100% not a fraud, anon. Your healthcare specialists don't think so either. If anything they probably really respect that you're exploring this even despite your doubts and fears. It takes a lot of courage! In some ways it can be a lot easier to get 'normal therapy' before seeing a food therapist, which is wild to say, but there it is. You're brave, anon, and really cool, and I hope you can continue to get support while you're on this journey!! <333
#asks and answers#cw eating disorder#cw self harm#cw disordered eating#falling falling stars#efnisien ap wledig#actually one of the reasons i added a dietitian into the story is partly because#everyone was having opinions about how efnisien should 'fix his eating'#like 'he should eat more vegetables and he shoudl eat protein and he should learn to cook'#and it's like y'all aren't dietitians and it SHOWS#efnisien just needs to learn how to make peace with food#and deal with some trauma#and i say 'just needs to' like it's easy#but that will take him a long long time#i think as well any chronic digestive illness#can impact eating to the point of developing disorders#like some people who get gastro will never eat the food that caused that stomach flu again#and i feel like telling those people 'now imagine it's EVERY food for the rest of your life and you still have to eat it'#sdlakfjsdakfsad like no wonder food messes us all up to v arying degrees#wish you the best anon!
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I dont the Otto Mentalis is evil theory holds much weight tbh I think he just replaced his trauma with The Grindset. Or he just went to therapy idk.
#psychonauts#like the main reason I see ppl saying this is that we don’t see his brain but like#he stuck with his job and gained a support group in the other agents (I assume)#that the other 6 didn’t get. for various reasons.#i could be proved wrong but tbh I feel like he just used healthier coping mechanisms#like building fucked up robots and extorting interns for pins#but also: ford was messed up because of the stuff w Lucretia and the aquatos#bob was traumatized by losing his husband helmut was in brain jail for like 20 years#boole had the whole power & insecurity thing and Cassie distanced herself from everyone#Otto seems very self assured/stayed w the psychonauts/wasn’t romantically involved with any of the ppl they lost#i think he just coped with his grief and trauma better than the rest
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Someone told me that he 'like hanging around with me' and he 'love my smile' today
#years after my birth im finally finding out the genuine joy of making friends#also relief. ive got so used for my mere existence to be an annoyance to other people as a child so its so important to me when people say#they like to have me around#had to turn down a very big socialization opportunity bc i was hungry and i couldnt come with him - will try to make up for it next time#what he said was totally platonic btw hes gay and im not a man#he also told me 'when i first met you i thought you were trans' and the urge i felt to come out to him and say 'YES ACTUALLY (but also here#the nuances:') but it came out of nowhere and there were bystanders so i didnt want to risk it and just. 'honestly im not sure' was the bes#half-truth half-lie i could muster#but hey he made me comfortable with coming out to him so one day perhaps#gosh i wish im not going to mess up this newly forming friendship (?) with my little to non-existent social skills#man also has the same dumb humor as me. i have to find a way to keep him around#my mom would burst into tears if she knew how much i smile talk and am open around him. not my fault he is a person whom you naturally feel#safe around#normally people ask me if im 'angry/pissed/annoyed/sad' because i have a resting bitch face and dont talk much to anyone#the surprise people must feel once they get to know me better.. granted i cant name any but whatever lol
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Apparently seeing a single Reddit comment mention how something is like Gilead is enough for the brain to decide "let's read the handmaid's wiki page talking about Gilead" and long story short it's been five hours we now know the plot of Handmaid's Tale
#adhd? never met her#you couldn't pay us to actively watch it because there's just SO many themes we can't deal with.#but it's one of those morbid curiousity type of things. wiki pages are so nice at alleviating that.#did not expect that it took place in present day America and that the rest of the world is basically the same#also didn't completely expect - but was not as surprised - that there's different roles besides the maids#but besides that? oh yeah it's just as messed up as we initially thought#if you like it good for you. just not our thing#there is exactly one good thing we enjoyed from the parts of the plot we read tho:#''ok you're meant to get pregnant from my husband but he's infertile. why not try with our driver?'' & the maid/driver fall in love#that's a decent writing prompt to work with. a twist on the usual ''and they were both servants'' or ''it's an arranged marriage thing''#like take out the whole conception necessity you could reflavour it as ''you're suppose to marry X but they're ace so why not marry Y?''#and X is like a high ranking person while Y is slightly lower ranking than X
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things that happen when you leave an open flame unattended: part 1
#so! guess whose workstation caught fire within the past 24 hours~? yeah. mine. ಠ‿ಠ#it wasn’t my fault though (trying to convince myself of this)#i did leave the tiny little flames unattended but they had nothing to do with the fires (i think…)#it was my coworker who did it really! (desperate rationalisation) dude poured these oddly flammable samples into the testers and walked off…#then the buggers caught fire </3 the flames got pretty huge. like big enough to roast marshmallows huge#the coworker who set ‘em on fire then tried to blow the flames out. to his credit the fires did go poof for like a second#but ig the samples were just too flammable bc the fires started again ಠ‿ಠ not fun#so yeah. he used a fire extinguisher and… left me to clean up the mess while he yeeted off to eat#so that was not fun at all. i just wanted to finish testing my samples mannnnnnnnn#dude did return to the station to clean up the rest of the mess a couple of hours later though… so that was better than nothing#hm. i think i’ve become somewhat desensitised to fires lmaoooooo#esp after my family’s old tv caught fire while my mother and brother were playing tetris on it a decade ago (rip)#the sight of the flames just blasting out of the sides of the tv was really funny though tbh#esp since it was one of those old box tvs from the early 2000s… good times#inedible blubbering
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