#he's having a lot of stomach issues and eating too much hurts him so I'm actually kind of relieved he's not eating much today

[coffeeworldsasaki]

My dog is currently doing an hunger strike to fight against the great injustice of having to eat rice instead of pasta, keep him in your prayers

[buckyalpine]

Imagine jealous!sharon want to get you out of the way so she can be with Bucky…

She hurts you (even it’s like a bruise) and Bucky begins to be so protective of you 🥺🥵

ABSOLUTELY.

I'm imaging this with a soft sweet reader and fuckboi Bucky. Hear me out, okay.

He's not looking for a relationship at all, finally feeling a sense of freedom after getting a bit of himself back. He's so flirty with everyone, so charming, he knows he can get whoever he wants.

He fucks.

A lot.

Sharon eats it up, loving the smirks he gives her, his playful baby blue eyes always sparkling. She loves the naughty way he bites his lip and don't even get her started on how gorgeous he is when he works out shirtless. His Brooklyn accent comes out when he calls her darlin' and it makes her weak in the knees.

There's just one issue.

The looks he gives Sharon aren't special. She's not the only one he calls darlin', even the old lady at the coffee shop shares the same pet name. Bucky can't help the little smirks he tosses around to others, flirty compliments naturally falling from his lips. He's a bit of a heart breaker but it's who he is.

That's just Bucky.

That's Bucky with everyone else.

Then there's Bucky with you.

The quite lab assistant who worked at the compound.

He didn't have it in him to playfully flirt with you when you asked about his day. He actually liked talking to you, finding any excuse under the sun to keep the conversation going, poking at the little nick knacks you have on your desk so he doesn't have to leave so quickly.

Sharon hates the way he looks at you. Whenever he's around you, he looks at you with puppy eyes as if he's wondering how someone so sweet could possibly exist. She catches onto the way he's not the same with you as he is with others. He's called everyone in passing darlin' with a drawl of his voice but you're his doll. He's never used that with anyone else. That's reserved just for you.

She can't stand it.

At first she tries to pick you apart in subtle ways' maybe you'd finally realize you had no business talking to someone like Bucky.

"You're so pretty even though you wear glasses"

"Don't worry, that dress would still look good on your body type, its meant to suit everyone"

"I wish I was as brave as you to wear that! I'd love to have that much confidence but I could never"

She smiled sweetly while you pulled your lab coat closer together, clutching it tightly in your hand. Your heart sank to your stomach. You'd worn one of your favorite dresses, one many others had always said you looked perfect in but some how Sharon made you doubt that, despite her sugary smile.

Then she took it a step further to make sure you were more isolated, insisting you'd be uninterested in plans when the team wanted to go out. Purposely giving you extra work when they had drinks together. Anything to keep you sad and holed away in your lab while she kept Bucky all to herself.

She'd do anything to get rid of you.

She was almost certain everything was going accordingly to plan, inching closer and closer to Bucky during a movie night until she was pressed against him, sharing his blanket. Not that Bucky noticed since he was more distracted over the fact that Sam was also squished against him on the other side of the small couch. Sam was also buried under the now too hot blanket, his deep snores irrupting the movie having fell asleep on Bucky's shoulder.

"Damn bird brain" Bucky huffed, ignoring the fact that he pushed Sharon off while reluctantly adjusting himself so Sam's head wouldn't slip, shaking his head when Sam grumbled, trying to snuggle into Bucky more.

"Bet you wish that was y/n, huh" Tony wiggled his eyebrows and much to Sharon's distain, Bucky blushed. Not did he deny it.

It didn't matter though. She'd find a way to get Bucky's attention, it wasn't like you were real competition anyways. She figured you'd have the sense to like someone better suited for you, someone in your league, definitely not the very handsome Sergeant.

That was until she found out you had a crush on the super soldier yourself. You'd let it slip out during a conversation with Nat, not realizing there was someone near the lab. Sharon didn't think you actually had a chance with Bucky but it didn't matter.

At this point she didn't care about what it took.

She was sick of the way Bucky was soft over you.

So she took a more direct approach.

"Y'know, I heard someone has a little crush on a certain super soldier" Sharon smirked, wandering to your table, tinkering with one of your tools while you looked at her like a deer caught in head lights.

How did she know?!"

"I-I don't-

"Oh please y/n, everyone knows" the blonde rolled her eyes at your gaping mouth before continuing, "I just thought I should let you know that he's not interested"

You felt like you had been punched in the stomach, the hurt expression on your face made her satisfied,.

"Oh" Was all you mustered out, embarrassed beyond belief while she shrugged. You blinked back tears while Sharon squeezed your shoulder out of faux concern, handing you a tissue.

"I'm so sorry, honestly I just thought you should know because he likes me. And I like him. So it would be best for you to move on, because were seeing each other" It didn't matter if it was a lie because she intended on making it real soon enough.

From that day, you avoided everyone in the compound like the plague, throwing yourself into work, feeling ridiculous for having even thought of Bucky that way. Of course he'd never go for someone like you, you should've known that from the start.

Sharon's plan was short lived after she overheard Bucky worriedly asking Tony about where you'd been all week since he hadn't seen you. After some endless teasing, Tony reassured him you were fine and just busy with lab work, not knowing the true reason as to why you'd overloaded yourself.

Sharon despised the pink that decorated Bucky's cheeks whenever someone said your name.

She hated that she'd seen him walking by the lab hallway in search of you.

She'd do anything to end all of this.

Including hurt you.

-

You made your way down to the gym hoping to sweat some of your unrequited feelings away, putting on your headphones before hopping on the treadmill. Sharon walked in moments later, blonde hair pulled into a sleek ponytail, her toned body on full display in nothing but a sports bra and some tiny shorts.

You felt even worse.

You tried to stay hidden, deciding 15 minutes would be enough, though your escape was cut short with Sharon caught your arm just as you were about to leave.

"How about we spar for a bit" She smiled sweetly, giggling at your confused expression. You'd never sparred in your life, in fact this was probably the third time you'd even used the gym the entire time you'd lived at the compound.

"Sharon, I-I don't think that's a good idea, I've never-

She cut you off, dragging you to the mat, practically shoving you to the middle with more force than necessary.

"It's fine! I mean, it's good for you to learn since you work here n'all C'mon, I'll help you and show you what to do" Before you could say anything, Sharon had flipped you onto the mat, twisting your arm behind your back without warning. You gasped in pain as she gripped harder, pulling further up your back until she heard your joints crack.

"Let-let go" You winced out, confused over what part of sparring this was, your body hitting the floor when she released her grip.

"Ops" Sharon pouted with faux innocence, taking a long sip from her water while you hissed in pain, seeing the formation of a bruise already forming on your arm.

"SHARON"

Sharon squeaked in surprised at the loud voice that boomed through the gym, bouncing off the walls. Her eyes shot up to see a very angry super solder making his way over to the mat, eyes darkening as they landed to your injured form on the ground.

"What the fuck did you do?!"

"Bucky, we were just-

"Don't" Bucky growled through gritted teeth, rushing over to your side, and slipping his arm around your waist.

"Angel, are you okay?" He cupped your cheek, helping you to your feet and taking your hand in his, examining it with the utmost care. "Are you hurt anywhere?"

"M'all right" You nodded, your face heating up under his gaze, still a little shaken, your body trembling.

"How the fuck could you hurt her" Bucky spat, his metal hand clenched to his side, itching to punch Sharon in the jaw, having seen what she had just done but he didn't want to deal with the mess that would come afterwards. "The hell did you do that for"

"Excuse me? I was just showing her how to-"

Bucky's jaw clenched, instantly shutting her up. He refused to let go of you, keeping you firmly tucked into his side, growing unbelievably protective over you.

"Fine, go ahead, I'm sure she's different from all your other little side pieces" Sharon scoffed, smirking at the way your face fell. Bucky felt like he'd been hit in the chest; you were far more than any of his hook ups and he'd never considered treating you that way.

"You. Don't. Touch. Her" He glared her at before walking off with you. After the incident, Bucky insisted you go to the doctors to get checked over, waiting outside of the room like a kicked puppy. He couldn't help but feel guilty that all this had happened because of him. He also wondered that you thought.

Did you think he'd just use you for one night?

He would never.

He knew he wasn't into dating. He gave up on the dream of getting married, having kids, all that years ago. But that was before he met you. Ever since you'd thrown him a shy smile along with the softest hello Sergeant Barnes, Bucky had been a goner.

If his feelings were was bad before, it was even worse now.

You were told to ice your arm for the pain and swelling. Bucky had swept you away right to the kitchen, despite you telling him you'd be fine, plopping you onto the kitchen island wrapping an ice pack in a towel. He held it to your arm, frowning at the way you refused to look at him, your face downcast to the floor.

"Doll?" Bucky wrapped his arms around you for a comforting hug, wondering if the altercating with Sharon was still upsetting you, "Are you okay sweets? I missed you, haven't seen you in ages"

"I-I'm fine, I'm sorry" You pulled away from his arms, remembering Sharon's words from earlier, instantly missing the warmth of his body. "I know you don't feel the same way Bucky" You bit your lip to keep it from trembling.

Bucky blinked in confusion, having no idea what you were talking about. What did he not feel the same way over.

"What do you mean y/n"

"I mean I like you-but I know you don't like me that way so I kept myself busy so I wouldn't bother you because Sharon said-

"Wait, slow down, what did Sharon say"

You sighed before recounting all the things that had lead to this moment, Sharon insulting you, then telling you to back off, to straight up fighting you.

"Oh doll" Bucky shook his head, feeling worse over what had happened but over the moon over your confessed feelings, "She's right you know," He teased at the pout that made it's way to your lips before playfully pecking them, catching you by surprise.

"I don't do relationships. Certainly never had before. That was before I met the sweetest thing in the world and she's had my heart since" Bucky whispered, his hands, one warm, one cool cupping your cheeks, "She has me dreamin' of sayin' I do and that white picket fence, a ring on her finger, a pretty little baby bump with flowers on the window sill. Maybe a baby boy n' a baby girl. Maybe even a cat. She's the cutest little lab assistance and I'd love for her to be my girl, sweets"

Bucky held your face in his hands, his thumbs caressing over your warm cheeks while you grew bashfully shy, burying your face into his chest instead, making him chuckle.

"I didn't think you were the relationship type" You shrugged, toying with his dog tags, "I'm not you're darlin' Bucky"

"That's cause you're my doll" Bucky tilted your face up making you look up at him, his lips pressing the softest kiss to your nose and then your lips. "My one and only doll"

[wholoveseggs]

Maybe an elijah x Reader where the Reader is a bit shy about sex and really wants to try out face riding, but is insecure about her weight like that she's scared she'll hurt him or something like that. So somehow elijah finds out (for example thru a dream which he enters) and does it, but she'll try to pull away at the beginning still scared of hurting him and he'll pull her down.

If possible with lots of praise, overstimulation, elijah being dominant, hand kink, sir kink, elijah being a sweetheart, and aftercare?

Soft

18+ ---- {Masterlist} {Tag-List}

You've been dating Elijah for a while, but your insecurities keep you from taking things further. But one night, Elijah finally gets the chance to show you how much he loves your curves.

♡♡ Thanks for the request @magicaleaglecloud, I've written a similar fic on this subject called Reminder, but I love this idea so much I'm happy to write more. ♡♡

♡♡ This once again goes out to all my thick thighed brothers and sisters! ♡♡

3.4k words - Warnings: smut, fluff, oral sex, sex dreams, insecure reader, body issues, soft dom!elijah, slight sir!kink, face sitting, fingering, little bit of spanking, tinsy bit of overstim, a fun history fact about beauty standards, praise, kisses & lots of sweetness ♡♡♡

You were beyond nervous, and it showed. You and your boyfriend Elijah Mikaelson had been dating for the last year, and while you loved each other and you wanted to sleep with him, you had been putting it off.

It wasn't anything to do with him, of course. It had everything to do with your insecurities. You didn't fit the current beauty standard. You weren't as skinny as some of the girls Elijah had been with before you. Your hips and thighs touched, you had a stomach, and your breasts were bigger than you liked.

And while you had seen Elijah's eyes roam your body whenever you were with him. You couldn't help but wonder if he secretly felt the same.

You knew you couldn't hold off forever. The thought of being so naked and exposed was beyond scary. But you wanted to be with him in every sense of the word. And you knew you needed to get over yourself.

The plan was to stay the night at his place, a big step for the two of you. You would be spending the night with him. Sleeping in the same bed. And maybe, hopefully, doing other things.

You spent far too much time getting ready, making sure your skin was as flawless as possible, and your hair was just right. You packed the sexiest sleepwear you owned, a deep blue satin nightgown that fell mid-thigh.

Elijah had made reservations at your favorite restaurant, and the entire meal had been magical. Although, you didn't want to eat a lot in front of him. There was always so much shame around your body, and you didn't want him to see it.

"So I'm thinking we can have some wine and relax. Maybe watch a movie or two," Elijah said as he parked the car in front of his house.

"Sounds great." You smiled and took a breath, trying to calm yourself down.

He took your hand, sensing your unease, you were so beautiful and lovely, and he couldn't understand why you were so hard on yourself. He never wanted you to feel that way.

The evening had been perfect. You watched movies, you talked, and you drank the wine, and you felt the tension slowly slipping from your body. He kissed you and it had quickly grown passionate, his lips moving down your neck and you moaned his name.

You weren't sure how it happened, but he was suddenly on top of you, and the feel of his large frame pressed into yours had been amazing. But you felt your anxiety start to bubble to the surface.

"Elijah, wait," you said softly, gently pushing against his chest.

"What's wrong?" He asked, immediately concerned.

"I'm sorry, it's nothing. I just...can I have a moment?" You said, feeling a mix of embarrassed and scared.

"Of course," he said, getting up and allowing you to move from the couch. "Let's go back to the bedroom. We don't have to do anything."

"I'm sorry." You said as he pulled you into his arms, kissing the top of your head.

"Darling, there is nothing to be sorry about." He said, leading you to his bedroom. "Why don't you get ready for bed? I'm going to take a shower," he said, sensing that you needed a moment alone.

You smiled, feeling like you could breathe. You loved him so much. You were so lucky to have him.

You changed into your nightgown and pulled out your lotion and went about the process of rubbing it into your legs and arms.

You caught a glimpse of yourself in his floor length mirror, and your insecurities came rushing back.

The material clung to you in all the wrong ways. It hugged your hips and stomach and breasts. You frowned, hating the sight. You quickly pulled the blankets down and crawled into bed. There was no way you could let him see you like this.

You tried not to cry, feeling such shame and humiliation, you decided to just sleep and pretend the evening didn't happen.

When Elijah returned, you had fully fallen asleep. He frowned slightly, wishing he could read your mind, wishing he could know what to say. You were so beautiful. How could you not see it?

He slipped into bed beside you and smiled when you instinctively curled into him. You looked so peaceful, and he didn't have the heart to wake you.

The blankets were pulled down a bit, the swell of your breasts clearly visible. And it was impossible not to look.

He loved your body. He loved your curves. He loved the way you felt in his arms. So soft and warm.

You made a quiet little noise and pressed closer to him, and he felt himself harden. It was impossible not to.

Your eyes were moving under your eyelids and your breathing was uneven. Your hands gripped at him, pulling him closer.

"Are you dreaming, my beautiful girl?" Elijah said, brushing the hair away from your face.

"Hmm, Elijah," you moaned quietly, your hips moving and pressing into him.

He smiled, curious about what was going on in your mind, wondering what you were dreaming about.

"Fuck," you said, moving your hips again.

He couldn't help it, he had to know.

His hand gently caressed the side of your face, and then he slowly pressed into your mind, feeling the sensations your dream was causing.

He saw you straddling his face, your hands gripping the headboard, and he could practically taste you on his tongue. You were completely unbidden, your beautiful body bouncing above him, and his large hands gripped your hips.

Elijah pulled out of your mind, groaning at the vision.

"Mm, please," you whimpered, and he was so tempted.

He looked down, your nipples were straining against the material of your gown. Your eyebrows arched, and you moved against him.

"Elijah." You sighed his name, and it was too much.

He couldn't possibly leave this fantasy of yours to the dream world. He had to give you what you needed.

He whispered your name, gently biting down on your earlobe, and you woke with a gasp.

"Elijah." Your voice was thick and sleepy, and it did things to him.

"Did you have a good dream?" He said, kissing along your neck and sucking lightly on your pulse point.

"Yes." You moaned, unable to deny it.

"Tell me," he said, pulling the blankets back, his hands roaming over your body.

"You...we..." You moaned, unsure of how to tell him.

He kissed down your neck, his hands moving down to grip your ass and pull you against him.

"You are so sweet and shy. It's adorable." He smiled, loving the way you blushed.

He started kissing his way down your body, and it was clear where he was headed. His hands dipped under your gown and pushed the material up and over your breasts.

"Elijah." You moaned, trying to cover yourself.

"No." He said, taking your wrists and placing them by your sides. "Don't hide from me. I want to see all of you."

You nodded, closing your eyes as he kissed along your breasts and took a nipple into his mouth. You moaned, arching up into him, loving the way he felt against you.

"So beautiful," he whispered, his lips ghosting over your skin.

He moved further down your body, and his hands gripped your thighs, gently pulling them apart. His lips ghosted over your stomach and you felt yourself tensing up.

"Elijah," you whispered, wanting to stop him, but the feel of his mouth so close to where you were aching for him was too much.

He gently bit down on the soft flesh of your thighs, kissing and nipping at the sensitive skin.

"So fucking sexy." He said, looking up at you, his eyes full of lust.

"Wait," you said, sitting up and covering yourself, "I...you don't have to."

He pushed you back down, grabbing your wrists and holding them by your sides.

"Stop. Please, my love. Don't be ashamed." He said, kissing the swell of your stomach and moving further down.

"But..." you moaned, feeling his mouth between your legs, and your words died in your throat.

His mouth was gentle and slow, and he teased your clit, taking his time with you. His tongue moved in lazy circles, and he gently sucked, making you squirm and moan his name.

"Fuck, you taste so good." He groaned, loving the way you moved.

His fingers replaced his tongue and he pushed two inside of you. Moving up to kiss you, letting you taste yourself on his lips.

"Tell me what you like," he said, moving his fingers slowly, wanting to see what made you squirm.

"I like...when you do that." You gasped, his fingers moving deeper and hitting a spot that had you seeing stars.

He kissed along your neck, and he gently nipped at your pulse point, and he could feel your heartbeat quicken.

"You like my fingers baby?" He said, and his words were doing things to you.

"Mmhmm." You moaned, closing your eyes and giving in to the pleasure.

He started moving his fingers faster, curling them with each thrust. And then he pushed a third finger inside of you, stretching you open, and his thumb moved in slow circles over your clit.

"Fuck, oh god. Don't stop. Please." You begged, rocking your hips.

"You're so beautiful. I love the way you move." He said, his hand moving down to grip your thigh and hold you open.

"Please. Please. Fuck, I need..." You gasped, and his mouth covered yours, his tongue slipping into your mouth, and he swallowed your moans.

"You need to cum, is that it, sweet girl?" He asked, and you couldn't believe he was saying these things to you.

"Please, sir." You moaned, and the word slipped out before you could stop yourself.

He grinned, loving the way it sounded, and he wanted to hear it again.

"Cum for me, now." He said, his fingers moving faster, and his thumb pressing against your clit.

The combination was enough to send you over the edge, and the orgasm was powerful, leaving you a shaking mess, moaning his name.

You opened your eyes, and you could see him staring at you. Your cheeks flushed, and you closed your eyes.

"Open your eyes." He commanded, and you obeyed, meeting his gaze.

"There's my beautiful girl. Now, come sit on my face."

"What?" You were sure you heard him wrong.

"Sit on my face. Now." He repeated.

"I...um..." You started, but he cut you off, grabbing your hips and moving you above him.

"That's a good girl." He said, helping you place your knees on either side of his face.

You were trembling, scared that you were too heavy. That the angle was wrong. You wanted to cover yourself. You were so vulnerable like this.

"I said sit." He said, his hands gripping your hips and pulling you down onto his mouth.

"Oh god." You gasped, unable to control the movement of your hips as his tongue started to lick at you.

It was too much. You couldn't take it. Your hands gripped his hair, and his hands grabbed your ass, pulling you down onto him.

You didn't know how he was breathing, but he didn't stop. He smacked your ass hard and growled, and the vibration was intense.

"Good girl, just like that." He said, and his praise went straight to your core.

You moved against him, not caring how desperate you looked, or how unsexy you must have appeared.

"That's it, fuck my face. Take what you need." He said, watching as your body responded to him.

You didn't even know it was possible to orgasm again that quickly, but his tongue was magic, and you were falling apart above him.

You grabbed the headboard, unable to hold back, and his fingers dug into your hips.

"Fuck, I can't. Elijah." You moaned, and the orgasm was more intense than the first one.

Your body was shaking, and he didn't stop. His tongue moved inside of you, and his nose brushed against your clit, the sensation overwhelming.

"Too much!" You said, trying to move away.

He held you in place, smacking your ass, and making you gasp.

"I decide when it's too much," he said, and there was something in his voice that left you shaking.

"Yes sir," you said, your voice a breathy whisper.

He groaned, his tongue moving faster. You moved your hips, matching his rhythm. And the next orgasm was so intense that your knees almost gave out.

"Such a good girl. Come here." He said, moving you down his torso so that your head was resting against his chest, and you were a sweaty, trembling mess.

His hands were all over your body, feeling every curve, every soft place. His lips moved against yours, and you could taste yourself on him.

You were still trying to catch your breath, and your entire body was shaking. You sat up, suddenly very self-conscious, your thick thighs straddling his waist.

"You are so sexy." He said, sitting up and kissing your neck.

"Really?" You asked, surprised and embarrassed, you never felt that way about yourself.

"You have no idea." He said, his hands moving down your back.

He gripped your ass, and his hips moved up, and you could feel his hard length pressing into you. The way his dark eyes watched you had you squirming. His hands moving to push the straps of your nightgown down.

"I want to see all of you. Can I take this off?" He asked, and he was so sweet and kind, and it only made you fall in love with him even more.

"Okay." You nodded, and his hands pulled the material up over your head, tossing it aside and exposing you completely.

"Perfect." He said, his eyes roaming your body.

"Elijah." You whined, covering your breasts, but he took your hands and held them at your sides.

"Let me look at you. I want to see how gorgeous you are. So beautiful." He said, his words were a complete contradiction to the way you felt.

"I'm not," you said, hating the way his eyes were taking you in.

Elijah shook his head, kissing you softly, his hands moved along your body, caressing every inch of you.

"You are." He whispered, and his words were almost convincing.

You shook your head, trying to pull away, but he wrapped his arms around you and held you close.

"Did you know that in the 16th century, women with curvy bodies were considered more beautiful than thin women? In fact, there is a painting from the 1700s by Antonio Canova called The Three Graces, and the figure on the right is considered to be the most beautiful because of her curves."

"Elijah." You couldn't help but laugh at him.

"My sweet girl, I am not trying to convince you of something that you are not ready to believe. But I will always find you the most beautiful woman in the world." He said, kissing your forehead.

You felt yourself blushing and tears were threatening to fall.

"Don't cry," he said, his hands moving along your back, trying to soothe you.

"I'm not, it's just..." you took a breath, unsure of what to say.

"Come here," he said, gently rolling you onto your back and positioning himself above you. "I can show you."

"What?" You asked, a little confused, but the look in his eyes had you curious.

"I can show you how much I love your body. If you'll let me."

"Yes," you nodded, knowing there was no way you could tell him no.

"Good girl." He said, and you could feel the blush on your cheeks.

He kissed you, his lips moving along your neck, and down to your breasts. He kissed each one and moved lower.

"I love the way your breasts fit in my hands." He said, gently kneading the soft flesh and sucking a nipple into his mouth.

"Elijah." You whimpered, and his hands moved to grab your ass.

"I love the way your curves fill out my hands." He said, moving lower and kissing the swell of your stomach, his fingers dipping into the indentation of your belly button, and making you giggle.

"Elijah, please."

"I love the way your thighs are soft and smooth." He said, gently biting the soft flesh and making you moan.

"I love the way your body responds to mine. The way you moan my name." He said, pushing his boxers off, and taking his hard length into his hand, and stroking himself.

"Elijah." You bit your lip, watching him.

"I love the way my cock fits perfectly between your legs." He said, spreading your legs and moving to rest his length against you.

"I love the way your hips are the perfect shape for my hands." He said, grabbing them and holding them tightly.

"I love the way my body feels against yours." He said, moving so that he was pressing into you.

He kissed you, and his hands moved to grab yours, holding them by the sides of your head.

"And I love the way my name sounds on your lips." He whispered, and his cock pushed into you.

He buried his face in your neck, his hands squeezing yours, and his body pressed into yours. You could feel every muscle tensing, and his heart racing.

"I love you, so much," he said, and the words had never been more real.

You wrapped your arms around him, and the moment was pure and uncomplicated. It was everything you needed, and more.

"Elijah," you sighed his name, and it was all the words you couldn't say.

He smiled, moving his hips slowly, his movements controlled and measured. You could feel every inch of him. You had never felt anything so amazing in your life.

You were overwhelmed, the feelings of pleasure mixing with the emotions coursing through your body. You could feel the tears slipping down your cheeks, and he wiped them away, kissing your face.

He pulled your legs back, pressing your knees to your chest, and his cock hit a spot that had you moaning.

"Good girl." He moaned, his thrusts growing faster, and the pleasure was almost too much.

Your body was shaking, and his movements were getting sloppy. His breathing was labored, and his words were a jumbled mess.

He reached down, his hand finding your clit, and he started rubbing slow circles, the pressure sending a jolt of pleasure through you.

"Cum for me." He commanded, and the orgasm hit you hard, your nails digging into his back, and your legs wrapping around him.

"Eli-" You cried out, your voice high-pitched and needy.

His name was a breathy moan, and he could barely hold on. He needed you to cum, needed to feel you clenching around him.

"That's my girl." He moaned, his hips slamming into yours. You could feel him losing control, his cock pulsing inside of you.

He couldn't hold on, the pleasure was too much, and the way you were squeezing his cock had him tumbling over the edge.

His hand found yours, and he intertwined his fingers with yours, his hips slowing, and his eyes met yours.

You didn't know how long you stayed like that, just enjoying the closeness, and the way your bodies were entwined. You wanted to stay in the moment forever. You could feel his heart beating, and his breath on your skin. He eventually got up and grabbed a warm washcloth, cleaning you both, and then crawled back into bed, pulling you close, and wrapping you in his arms. 

"Are you okay?" He asked, and he was worried that maybe he had hurt you. That he had been too rough, or that he had pushed you too far. But you were smiling, and you were happy, and the way your body had responded to him was everything he had hoped for.

"Yes. I'm perfect." You said, and he could see the way the light was reflecting in your eyes, and the smile on your face. He kissed you, his hand cupping your face, and his tongue tangling with yours.

He made you feel so loved and cared for. He made you feel like you were the most important person in his life. Like nothing else mattered.

And for the first time, you felt worthy of his love. A love you always deserved.

♡♡ Tag-List ♡♡

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[thebluester2020]

I wonder how sdv bachelor's would react to you getting mad at them for forgetting your (relationship) anniversary?

Getting Upset At SDV + RSV Bachelors For Forgetting Your Anniversary (For the Umpteenth Time And You Decided To Leave Them For It)

Warning(s): Angst (Especially on Shane's part lol, I'm a hater), No happy endings, Reader goes in on Shane and Alex in their individual parts,

Side note(s): Ik you were probably expecting something decently light anon but I just remembered that I haven't ratted on Shane in a minute so I thought some good ol' fashioned angst was in store.

Also, I picked who I wrote angst for because I teared up thinking of writing angst for my favorite emo or writer. Still, though, I hope you like what I've written anon (and sorry it took so frickin' long 😔)

Shane | "Another Bottle"

You were so excited for tonight, you could hardly stand in place as you waited for Shane to get home!

Tonight would be your third year with Shane. A year that (in your mind) would symbolize the trials and tribulations the both of you had gone, as well as shared with one another. And for the last week or so, Shane had been talking almost non-stop about the plans he had for the both of you at the end of the week! He hinted at eating some fancy dinner cooked up by Gus at the Stardrop Saloon, and although he didn't mention it verbally, Shane had been spending a lot of time with Elliot lately.

The two had almost nothing in common so, butterflies erupted in your stomach at the thought of the extra things your husband was preparing for you.

Shane had also mentioned taking a walk on the beach at the end, and once the night had concluded? A nice wine on the porch whilst listening to a playlist of you and his' favorite songs.

All of it was straight from a dream, a fairytale even that...admittedly, you thought would never happen. Especially since...he had forgotten your first anniversary, the second one too—but, you were nothing if not forgiving.

You had to be.

Your husband dealt with a lot. He had mental health issues as well as a drinking problem that he was still fighting to curb to this very moment! When you married him—nay, when you first started dating him. You knew that you would have to be patient and constantly show him that you were with him through thick and thin, come Hell or high water. You'd stand by Shane's side and walk with him through any troubles he may have faced or had roaming around in his head.

Therefore, that's why, as soon as the clock in your shared bedroom ticked to five o'clock. You practically burst out of your bedroom and out to the front porch to wait for Shane like an eager dog waiting for its owner to return home after a long day! In any minute, he'd walk through the small gates that led onto the farm's property...maybe with a bouquet of flowers? A tired expression at first perhaps? One that would immediately melt away at the sight of you like it always did...you couldn't wait to see for yourself.

Six O'Clock

You had decided to sit down on the steps of the porch, constantly standing in a pair of heels was bound to hurt your feet sometime or another as you continued to wait for Shane to go through those gates. He must've been held up at work, maybe spending a little extra time getting your date ready! Something.

Anything other than the thought your mind was threatening to settle on.

No, anything but that.

He was late but you were going to have patience, after all, all the best things in life were worth waiting for, right? You were willing to bet that he was going to appear at any moment now.

Eight O'Clock

You had lost the bet with yourself, that much was obvious as you quietly took off the outfit you had put together for tonight and debated whether you should simply take a shower and go to bed or if you should comfort yourself over a nice glass of wine. On one hand, you wanted the former, anything that would help you forget this night but...this time? You just couldn't bring yourself to do it.

This would be the third time that Shane had forgotten your anniversary. Last year, you had let him slide with his excuse that he was caught up at work, even though he worked at a grocery store and the place had a set time for when it closed! The second year, that time around, Shane had claimed that Jas suddenly wanted to spend time with him! You wouldn't have minded Jas tagging along for your anniversary date, she would have made it more lively, so that year as well, you let it slide.

This time though...as tears started to well up in your eyes and your chest tightened. You didn't know if you had it in you to let another anniversary slide.

And that's when you heard the front door open and close.

Even from the bedroom, the scent of alcohol was strong and all too familiar. The lazy movement of Shane's footsteps...the way he groaned and grumbled drunkenly in search of you.

He had forgotten your anniversary...all so he could get drunk?

You saw red. "Where were you?" You immediately questioned your husband when you rounded a corner and into the living room.

There he was, lying down on the couch with the stench of alcohol radiating off of him. You clenched your fists so hard at the sight, that you almost worried they'd bleed. "Out." Shane finally answered.

You could feel a vein threaten to poke out as he slurred his words.

"Out?" You said in exasperation.

"Yes, out."

"I thought you were trying to quit drinking," You stormed up closer to him. Shane barely even flinched, you were hoping he'd give you something, anything that said he had remembered your anniversary but was just too drunk and stupid to remember it. "Why—"

"I needed a break from work!" He grumbled. "Get off my back."

"But—" You took a breath. "Shane." You continued. "Our anniversary...you—you promised." When that word made its way out of your mouth, Shane could barely give you the decency to look embarrassed. To look ashamed that he would miss his only spouse's birthday. The one person who had stuck with him through everything, listened to him when he was at his lowest, had made sure he was at Dr. Harvey's in a heartbeat the second you noticed he was too drunk to even stand. You had even gone out of your way so many fucking times to make sure that you had did some things for him, anything that made his recovery easier and swifter.

And what could he do to thank you?

Easy, begin to fall asleep on the couch whilst he still smelled of alcohol. Even as tears started to burn your eyes, he still couldn't wake up for you.

So, you decided that was that.

You wouldn't go through this again for a fourth, fifth, or even sixth time in a row!

You were done.

"...I guess you were right before Shane," You said to his passed-out form.

"You are nothing but a drunk. And that's all you'll ever be." You continued with venom dripping from each word before you stormed off to your bedroom. Immediately, you tore open the closet before you practically ripped and tore his clothes from the hangers, snatching pants and everything else he owned from the drawers and other places he kept his things before you carried them all to the living room before dropping it at his feet.

Still, he barely moved an inch aside from snoring obnoxiously.

You wanted him gone first thing in the morning and you wouldn't hear another half-assed apology or even an excuse that he was "still healing" or "just had a momentary relapse". It was a fine fucking time to have a relapse on the day you were looking forward to for an entire week! And you absolutely hated him for it.

But...soon you'd have your peace back, free of any disappointments too.

Once he was up and gone tomorrow.

Alex | "High Ambitions"

Alex's gridball career had been going extremely well as of late.

You always knew that his efforts, the constant hard work he'd put into the sport, would pay off one day. You always told him that! You just wished that...it wasn't at the expense of you sometimes, compared to how he was when the two of you first started dating, Alex was gone almost all the time. From sun up to sun down, he'd either be training or taking a bus down to Zuzu city at the crack of dawn in order to train further with his coach!

You didn't have enough fingers to count how many times you woke up by yourself. The spot where Alex should have been cold and empty, but Alex had promised you that he wasn't letting his ambitions and his budding career get in the way of you two! He'd always come back and hug you, stating that you were the reason why he was playing in the first place and trying to make it big.

All so that he could fund and take care of the both of you, deliver you a lavish lifestyle that would allow you to have more time to do the things that you and he liked to do rather than most of your day being spent with farm work and running around! And while that was all fine...your current lifestyle, was something you enjoyed.

And you enjoyed it even more when you did it with Alex.

Yet you had bit your tongue and nodded your head, you were happy for him and wanted him to succeed! So long as he didn't forget about you, you were happy and content. Besides, you'd have all the time in the world to make up for lost time with him tonight! It was your anniversary and the second he got back from practice, you wouldn't hold back from being a little greedy with him.

At least...that was the plan.

Until two hours went by.

He was supposed to be home at 8 o'clock.

Now? It was just barely reaching 11:00pm. And as the minutes continued to tick by, your anger at your husband only grew. He promised you that he would be home on time, that he wouldn't let practice take over you being his number-one priority. Clearly, that was one huge lie. However, as you heard the rapid jingling of keys at the door all of a sudden...you couldn't even find it within yourself to make up an excuse for him like you had many times prior.

No, it was clear where his priorities were as of lately.

And you weren't a part of them in the slightest.

"Y/N!" Alex called out as soon as he entered the house, his eyes quickly finding you sitting on the couch. Back straight and eyes forward, you hadn't even reacted to the sound of your name aside from a brief glance over your shoulder.

Oh, he knew he was in trouble.

"Sorry," Alex said bashfully, flashing you a boyish smile that would always do just the trick of melting your heart a little in the past. "I got caught up with practice, I scored three touchdowns today!"

"Do you know what day it is today?"

His eyes widened a little, his mouth opening to ask you to clarify as he desperately racked his brain. Only then, did horror wash over his features the second he remembered. "Y/N...I'm so sorry-"

You suddenly stood up. "Don't bother," You said sharply with a sigh. "It's the third time you've missed our anniversary!" You laughed emptily.

"All for fucking gridball practice. The same thing you told me wouldn't get in between us."

He rolled his eyes. "You know this is the one thing I've been working towards my entire life." Your husband huffed. "Why can't you be happy for me? I'm doing this for the both of us!"

"The both of us?" You scoffed. "You're doing this for you. I told you the second you started practicing to not let sports come between us, to at least take the time to remember me!" You shouted as you quickly got in his space, your chest heaving as your hands found their way to your hips.

"And what do you do? The exact opposite."

"Well, what about you?"

Oh, he was not placing the blame on you.

"You're always working on the farm, that or rushing off to the mines for the third time in a night!"

"How the- that's not the same! And besides, you're barely here to begin with! I'd rather be in the mines with the ghosts to keep me company than lay in an empty bed for the fourth night in a row!"

Your husband only blew you off with a scoff at your words, turning on his heels to walk away from the conversation. And that single act, it only made the pain worse. So much worse that...you couldn't even believe that you had married him in the first place. In the beginning, you were absolutely smitten with Alex, admiring his determination for gridball as well as his drive to be the best at it! Even now...you still want to support him at it, see him become the very best but...not at the detriment of you.

Not at the detriment of your marriage.

If he couldn't be bothered to remember the simplest things about you such as an anniversary.

Then it was best if you left the picture completely.

You took a deep shaky breath. "...Pack your bags tomorrow Alex." You said, your breath barely above a whisper but still loud enough to where Alex stopped in his tracks completely.

"What?"

"Pack them," You repeated. "You want to focus on gridball? Fine, but it won't be with me playing second fiddle to it." Then, you turned around to walk to the bedroom and shut the door behind you.

[writing-whump]

This is super basic but I haven’t read one in a while, maybe you could write Matt getting food poisoning and feeling really bad, and throwing up a lot?

I'm combing this with a request from @pearlprompts to see more of Matthew's sisters, hehe.

Warning for emeto, scat, sickness stuff.

...

Food poisoning

"I told you not to eat those hotdogs on the street," Seline said in a scolding tone.

Matthew wished she showed more sympathy to his suffering. He knew the wolf meet/conference whatever presumtious thing it was called was important, that Isaiah inviting them to one was special.

But the breakfast they had was so basic and when he imagined waiting through those weird talks until lunch, he threw himself at the first hotdog stand he could find.

Around lunch, his stomach was hurting and gurgling so much he couldn't stand straight.

Isaiah and Seline promptly evacuated him from the oh so previous city hall of Salzburg. The city was basically build around a big mountain in the middle with very pretensious castles and important buildings on the river shore in the shadow of it. Very fitting, symbolically for a wolf meet.

Matthew was currently occupying one of the chairs in their small hotel room, bend over a trashcan and drooling into it, feeling positively miserable and pathetic.

"Seriously, just go-" he interrupted himself with a burp that turned into an empty gag. "Just go back. Don't miss out on the programm."

Isaiah stood in the hallway, suit and coat on, looking neutral but tense. When he was in his public Executioner mode, his emotions weren't as obvious. There was flatness to his tone, his posture was more rigid, the focus on his shadow and his mask.

There was a lot of networking to be done and Matthew felt more and more guilty he wasn't going to be at Isaiah's back. Who stood behind you and next to you apparently mattered a lot in these meetings, though Matthew understood more of it instinctively than intellectually. Half of the hints and meanings went right past his head, if not more.

Not only was he not being an asset right now, he was actively hindering the mission Isaiah came here for.

Isaiah didn't talk about it. He didn't say it out loud, make a speech or call them all in to make an announcement. But they have all noticed, one way or another, that something significant shifted about his attitude.

The Executioner mask came up more often. His shadow was more active, more visible, more on the nose. The power that radiated from him made wolves and humans turn their heads. Isaiah went form being inconspicuous to very present in a just a few weeks.

Matthew could guess most of the reasons. Shawn. Rip. Vienna was unsettled, filled with strays and mad wolves, and humans were in some kind of easy to anger mood, complaining about several world ending crisis left and right.

Matthew couldn't care less what humans worried about, their concerns very far away from survive, fight, eat. As long as you had that, Matt was glad for every new day.

But the general atmosphere seemed to matter to people who looked out for such things as wolf standing in politics. Isaiah was very good at picking up at such signs, for reading the room and identifying problems like that without trying.

And right now, he was trying.

Seline noticed that too or she wouldn't have come. Wolf meets and the wolf community issues seemed even less interesting to her than human community to Matthew. Maybe worse, she sported a certain disgust at anything pack or witch related, for a reason Matt and Isaiah had yet to figure out.

So when Isaiah asked them to come—which he did rarely if ever—they both said yes before they asked what it was about.

Matthew looked at his pack leader, thinking of all those reasons that left them here. "Man, for real. Go. Take Seline with you and do the networking shit or whatever it is." He spit into the bucket in his lap, swaying drowsily. "Nothing to miss out on here. I'll hurl some more and pass the fuck out."

His stomach was still bloated to the max, like he ate two lunchs instead of losing two breakfasts to the sewer system. It hurt too, at weird unpredictable timings.

Right now, despite the constant nausea, it was hurting a lot more down below. His intestines were having a glass shard party that involved breaking wine bottles over his cell's heads.

Matthew groaned and curled up around his middle, letting the bucket out of his grip.

Seline jumped at the sound and came closer, adjusting it so it was straight and close to the reach. "Think you could hold down some medicine? I have some pills-"

Matthew shook his head. "Nope. Will just come right back up." Even when he wasn't throwing up, the queasiness was constant and unrelenting. He felt like he was floating on a boat. Everything was disgusting and every swallow was dangerous.

He couldn't believe it was so easy to do something so horrible to oneself.

Seline stroked some hair out of his sweaty forehead. "You are such a moron."

He shuddered under her touch. There was new pressure building in his lower belly that was starting to demand his attention. He realized he might actually be better off without an audience for this one.

"You guys go. Seriously. Check in on me between events and be on dial, but otherwise, I'm fine." The red haired wolf forced himself to straight up a little, tensing as he counted the steps to the bathroom. They only had one and the room was rather small to get away from the sounds. "Please go."

Seline frowned. "First you are asking for sympathy and now you are kicking us out? What do you-"

Isaiah grabbed her by the elbow though, obviously picking up in Matthew's discomfort and it's source. "It's 20 minute with a cab. Check in regularly," he said, in a tone that very much felt like an order.

Matthew nodded, feeling the pressure to obey. It made him wonder if Isaiah realized how much of a power his voice carried, when his shadow was this close to the surface.

Switching between being a wolf Executioner and the Isaiah at home obviously needed some fine-tuning.

Matt let it slide, nodding in gratitude. When the door finally closed behind them, he sprinted to the bathroom at once, his bowls turning upside down with a vengeance.

...

Three more trips to the bathroom and two rounds of empty retching and Matthew was glad to fulfill his promise and pass out flat on the bed.

On the big double bed that was Isaiah's, really, and should have been Seline's too. He missed not having their smells linger and mix together, wanting to feel close to them both at once. Ah well.

Around four in the afternoon, he woke up to intense before-a-sundown-light glaring right into his face.

It was the last light of the day. The evenings came early and the cold lingers way into the morning.

Matthew sat up on the bed, rubbing his eyes. His stomach gurgled, but it didn't actually hurt after six hours, half of that spend puking. Food poisoning was intense, but at least it was quick to pass.

He wasn't eager to actually return to the wolf party and try to figure out how his standing or manners whatever translated into shadow, dominance and power language. Just the thought made his head hurt.

Instead, he temptatively tried out a glass of water. It fell heavily against his stomach, but didn't increase the nausea too much. He took one of the powder bags Seline prepared for him that were supposed to calm the digestive tract or whatever.

It seemed settled. Maybe he could try to catch some of that sunlight.

Texting Isaiah and Sel in their common group that he was going on a walk, he got himself a jacket to not look suspicious to humans, though the cold didn't bother him at all and headed for the river.

Salzach was a big deal here, historically making the city the main point of bussiness with the salt, that Salzburg was named after. Now that he was alone, breathing the crisp air, Matt wondered if he could tempt Seline and Isaiah away on some kind of historical tour. There was a lot to sightsee here.

Matthew would have liked to do some running, but just getting to the river on his two feet proved to be a challange. He was ridiculously weak, panting for having to go down the hill. Every street following the river form one side seemed to he up a hill.

Maybe he would need Isaiah to come get him, after all. How was he supposed to climb that up?

Thankfully, he soon found a bench he could collapse on. With a nice view. He was sweating and tired, content to watch his breath turn into steamy clouds.

He almost drifted off a little, when a sudden crashing sound had his head turning. Honestly, outside, he really should be paying more attention. Especially when so many packs gathered in one town.

When he opened his eyes, he nearly fell off the bench himself.

It was a girl that fell down on the ground. Short dark red hair cut into a short bob. Round glasses with no rim. A face he could not forget.

"What the-Maddie?"

Madelaine Blackwell was his younger sister. Melissa was the oldest, Marcella the youngest. Meredith and Maddie were both in the middle after Matthew, as he was the second oldest.

But Maddie was not even a year younger than Matthew. They were born so short apart like his mother hoped that after a shadow wolf son, she was more likely to get another supernatural child.

It didn't work out. Maddie and Meredith were both failures. Until Marcie.

Neither of his sisters were a failure for Matthew. While Melissa was always trying to please their mother, Maddie was like a twin to Matt. They were always together, always playing, insuperable. He spend his childhood, before his shadow properly developed, playing tug and war with this girl.

"What are you doing here?" Matthew said finally, dropping his hands to his knees, leaning forward.

Maddie looked away self-consciously. Her eyes were a pale blue colour, almost violet. "There is a wolf conference. Blackwells are attending."

She kept her gaze lowered. That was the proper behavior for someone raised around shadow wolves. Look down, speak carefully. Suggest things, never order them around, never criticise them. Assist the control over their Shadow's bloodslust as much as possible.

Matthew knew that, but he had been apart from people who followed this for far too long. He was used to crowds, though he still didn't like them. Heck, he went to university and he was fine.

He tried very hard not to take his sister's behavior personally. But then she hugged herself around her chest, trembling a little and he knew this was very much personal.

Matthew was shocked, anxiety spiking in his stomach. But since she was there, he at least had a chance to look at her. He knew they went to the same faculty, that she was good at maths just as he was.

Her slim small built didn't change that much since she was 16. Never worse glasses before. Her favourite colour, by the looks of her neon orange jacket and beet red pants was still the same.

Matthew couldn't even feel any wolves around following her. She must have been able to move around the city freely.

He stood up, offering his hand. "Did you get hurt? Wanna... get up?"

When she closed her eyes and cringed in response, his heart fell. Quickly, he sat back down. That was a more submissive, less dangerous position for a wolf. It signalled there was no attack coming.

Matt slid as far away from Maddie on the bench as possible, something deep in his breaking at the idea he couldn't even touch her to help her up after a fall.

"Guess years of her talking your ear off do that to ya," he said quietly, not sure if he ment Melissa or his mother.

Maddie didn't seem eager to get up though. She pulled herself to her knees on the freezing pavement, so she wasn't touching it so much, but she didn't leave.

"At least you aren't cursing me outright," Matthew said into the awkward silence, when he couldn't stand it anymore.

He had hope somewhere inside that Maddie might have wanted to see him...that she was different than Melissa. Melissa hated him out in the open. Maddie might have wanted to visit, if mother didn't have her wolves watching, her phone controlled, the girls isolated.

"You look good, Mads," he continued. Maybe talking like a normal human, holding a conversation, would calm her down. There was no guarantee, but this was the first time since he could talk with her without interruption in years. "It suits you. The glasses too. You don't look all that much older. I like the colours."

But she was so much more frightened. Frozen. Why, then, when he wasn't even there? Why didn't she live boldy and happily, if fear was why they were forbidden from seeing each other?

Or maybe he should just leave. This was torture. And he would not inflict it on her, if his presence was the cause.

"See you around, Mads. Get inside before the sun sets." He hoped that couldn't be interpreted like a threat but a friendly, concerned recommendation.

Matt got to his feet, turning his back to her. For people who knew the language, it ment trust, letting someone at your back. Not that he had anything to fear from a human.

From a sister.

Out of view, he didn't push the anxiety back as much. It exploded in his chest with a sick sticky feeling...that he would have considered normal, if he wasn't throwing up just a few hours ago.

His stomach twisted. Not one to get sick from nerves, but the walk didn't exactly do him good either, shaking things up. A loud, menacing gurgle echoed through the street. He would have been emberassed, if it didn't hurt like a knife to the gut.

Matt groaned, doubling over his knees. The nausea returned at once, with dizzying speed. He reached back with his hand for the bench to stay upright and spit at the ground.

"M-Matt? W-what's wrong?"

Her voice didn't help. Guilt, shame, anger and plain grief shot through him at once. His stomach twisted and jumped to his throat and he retched over his feet.

"Is it your shadow? Is it pressing you too much?" Maddie was on her feet now too, closing in on him.

"It's not-" he gagged and then a wave of vomit rushed out. He vend forward with the force, barely missing his boots. "Not the shadow-bad...bad food...urgh." His throat jumped with a burp.

"Sit back down," she said.

Matt listed, mostly because his legs wouldn't hold him much longer. The shakiness was back full force, reminding him that he was running low on liquids.

Another painful cramp had him balling his fists on his pants, bending forward. He burped another mouthful of puke between his feet.

Maddie was standing over him, a tentative hand on her back. Feather-light. Like she had forgotten her fear for a second.

Matt cleared his mouth, eyes flickering to her. He didn't dare look at her too long.

"You should lie down. I'll call you a taxi, yeah?" She got her phone out, but her hand still rested on his back. Finding him a taxi on an app.

"There. Will be here in 5 minutes. Hold on till then, okay?" She crouched down next to him, her hand sliding up to his shoulder and then his arm. Not breaking the contact once while she stood there, waiting for him.

Matt wanted to thank her. Ask her. Tell her something more substantial. There could still be a chance to fix this.

He spend those crucial five minutes biting back groans and drooling, saliva hanging of his mouth.

Maddie still held on to him, rubbing his arm. "You're gonna be alright, okay?"

He didn't dare move or reach for her. Scared to break whatever fragile balance was created here.

Where the cab got there and she guided him to the car, he wished she could go with him.

He wished he had said what he really thought.

I miss you...

[broz0neglitters]

The way you look is not an issue 🍊🧃

-Bruce went back in time to talk to his younger self and there were so many things that he would have told his younger self being the heartthrob he had to maintain that abs and would go to that extreme diet that john dory would made him and he would only eat oranges or drink orange juice soon spruce started having a eating disorder but when the band broke up everything change but bruce had that change to actually travel back in time and actually talk to his younger self-

Warning: Eating Disorder mentioned

Bruce Went into the old tree pod where all of his brothers lived with their sweet grandmother; bruce saw how hard his younger self, spruce, was working out. There was lots of blood, sweat, and tears put in there as it was dinner time all the other brothers got to eat food spruce was stuck with orange slices for dinner he was used to it at this point he didn't complain

Spruce; would often eat in the bathroom so basically locking himself in the bathroom and chowing down the orange slices

Bruce, was a ghost figure at this point so he could see what his younger self was doing because he was just visiting his old life as bruce saw what younger spruce was doing bruce started to spoke to himself

"stick it down your throat I'm watching from the bathroom Making sure I don't choke from the words he spoke." Bruce said to himself

As young Spruce struggled to continue eating, he choked on the orange slices. With every bite he took, he was shoving clementines and orange bacteria. Down his throat about a dozen times just For another 'round of his bulimia as young Spruce was super afraid to gain a single weight if he did John Dory would punish him As Bruce saw how much his younger self was struggling, he couldn't believe what he had gone through to look his best...

-Fast Forward-

Bruce didn't brother to disguise himself because there was no way his younger self would know that it was him in the future as spruce was just out on his own getting away from john dory for a while as bruce approached him All bruce said to his younger self was this "You turn oranges to orange juice. Into there, then spit it out of you Your body is imperfectly perfect Everyone wants what the other one's working No orange juice." Bruce told his younger self 

"Who are you?" Young spruce asked looking surprise

"I'm you in the future." Bruce reply with a warm smile

"But-But you gain so much weight is john dory mad?" he asked "No-no I felt happier when I gain this weight." bruce told him

"You shouldn't keep doing this to yourself you're perfect just the way you are dude I wish I had somebody telling me that I was perfect the way I am when I was your age." Bruce told him

"Every night, I would just hear my stomach growl out of hunger, and I barely have energy, and john dory would make me do extreme work out while living on orange juice and slices for a diet. I was hurting a lot, but most of all, I was starving so much I craved to taste at least one bite of a cookie that grandma would make for us after our concert and her sweet pies every Friday night, but I couldn't." Spruce said sobbing

As bruce held his younger self hand ", I believe you chose To blow it on the reading carpet That's what happens when you're starvin'." As Young Spruce tear up as bruce wipe his tears

"Please say that you won't continue Ordering oranges off the menu Stuffin' up your mouth like tissue The way you look is not an issue." Bruce said

"I have too, if I gain just one pound john will punish me and I will be ugly." spruce said sobbing "You're not ugly, and screw what john dory think look at me when I left john dory ass look how happy I Look with my body I don't care what john says about me and Hey I tell you this You will find a wife who will love you just the way you are not about your looks." bruce also added in

As Bruce saw the portal open, it was time for him to head back to his own timeline. But Bruce couldn't help but ponder, if his younger self had heeded his advice and stopped eating oranges, would this have altered his future? Would he no longer be with Brandy and their 13 children? The struggle with body image, a battle that had plagued him even as a young kid, was still a part of him. Yet, here he was, talking to his younger self, reassuring him that he was perfect just the way he was...

Ever since the band broke up when he met Brandy, she was the one who helped him recover from his eating disorder. She never gave up trying to get Bruce to eat up, and once Bruce gain weight, he had mixed feeling but Brandy told him "Honey, The way you look is not an issue." she told him which made bruce smile.

Then, it snapped back to Bruce before he could return to his life. He looked at his younger self, who was innocently eating orange slices. Bruce walked up to him and gave him a hug, breaking it with a smile. His last words to his younger self were, 'I wish I could give you my set of eyes, for I know your eyes aren't working. I wish I could tell you that you're fine, but you might find that disconcerting.' Bruce's journey of self-acceptance had begun.

As Bruce threw his oranges slices far away, hitting another trolls, which happens to be king peppy himself, as he looked back at his younger self "Trust me you will see in the future, you will soon understand what I meant. You will no longer eat oranges." bruce said

As Spruce saw his future self walk through a portal, Spruce struggled with body image. It was hard for him to expect to gain a single weight. He was scared of john dory punishment, but he knew that floyd would always sneak in food for him and how clay, branches, and even his grandma would ofter him to eat a little.

As Future Bruce made it back to his time after having a talk with his younger self, he also realized that his younger brothers and grandma would always offer him real food and sneak food for him even when John Dory wasn't around. Ever since he met Brandy, he has started to accept himself for who he is, and he wishes his younger self would have done the same thing as well.

---------------

Note:

 Everybody is perfect just the way they are everyone is different all body is different and unique no need to feel ashamed of being different I was always the fat one in my family I have struggled with my weight and body image I wish I had someone to tell me that I was perfect the way I was over the years I have lost a ton of weight I felt like a different person but I kept gaining on and off but I'm still struggling with my weight and I have still not accept myself after all these years of trying to lose weight so I stop being the fat one in the family....

So if you guys are struggling with body image you're not alone you're all perfect the way you are <3 Cause the way you look is not an issue the only issues is the people they are just jealous that they don't have your confident so just shut them up and go live your live as you please eat what ever as you please no one can tell you what you can or can't eat like everybody said

"My Body, My rule"

------------------------

Follow + Follow are very much appreciated! <3

[not-a-space-alien]

K&J x MMSS 4: Valen & Jim Part 12

Part twelve of the fourth crossover with @whumpsday!

Call me a silverware drawer the way I have all these spoons for writing rn

K&J masterlist

MMSS masterlist

K&J x MMSS crossover masterlist

To be added to the taglist, contact @whumpsday

Warnings: Aftermath of torture

In this chapter:

Valen checks what time it is when they wake up.  Close to morning, and sunrise.   He slips back into bed and plants light kisses up Jim's neck.  "Good morning, sleepy peepy."

Jim jolts almost violently at the feeling of a mouth on his neck, then relaxes when he realizes it's just Valen.

"Shit. Sorry." He's been able to enjoy neck kisses from Valen for the last couple years without issue, but he's been extra jumpy lately with Kane's return. He kisses Valen on the cheek. "Just got a little startled." He's definitely not a sleepy peepy anymore.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking."  He runs his fingers through Jim's hair.  "How's your hangover?"

"Bleh. I've had worse, though." He snuggles against Valen. "You're going tonight?"

"Yes, I missed my window to go last night, but we should be fine to wait.  What about you, are you still going to the shops?"

"Yeah, I am." Jim's stomach turns at the thought of being left alone with Kane again, even with their positions reversed. His fingers brush over the side of Valen's neck. "Just, just make sure you come back okay. Like always."

"I will.  I'll go straight there and come right back."  He stretches and yawns.  "Kane is locked in the basement if you'd like to check in on him.  Want me to start breakfast for you?"  Valen occasionally tries to cook human food, and he enjoys doing it, and it inevitably comes out tasting very weird each time.  He's not as bad at cooking as he is at driving, but it's close.

Jim likes Valen's weird cooking even when it sucks. It's the thought that counts. He's sometimes better than Liz, though that's not saying much. And besides, interacting with Kane without Valen always there is something he'll have to get used to if they're living together again.

"Yeah, thanks, that'd be great. Surprise me." Jim gives Valen a kiss before getting out of bed to let Kane up.

Valen goes to the kitchen and starts making an omelet.  He cracks a few eggs into the pan, but then can't quite remember what all goes in an omelet.  Try as he might, no matter how many times he watches Jim cook, he just can't remember which ingredients go together.  Cooking seems to require an innate sense of human taste that he just does not have.  He would have thought that just through sheer rote memorization he would have been able to do it, and yet...

He puts in a bell pepper (stem and seeds and all), some cheese, and some bacon in with the eggs.  He's fairly certain about those ones, as well as garlic and black pepper, which seem to go on everything.  He then gets some bread, before remembering the bread just gets heated up and served on the side of eggs, not in them.  He pops two slices in the microwave.  What else?  Pickles and condiments go on sandwiches sometimes, so he throws the pickles in the pan, folds the omelet closed, and then squirts ketchup and mustard on top before putting it on a plate.  He then takes the bread out of the microwave, which is at this point slightly soggy and limp and steaming, and puts it next to the eggs.  There, it has protein, carbohydrates, fiber.  That seems like a good mix.  He puts an orange on the plate as well, then sets it on the kitchen table.  "All right, Jim, you can come eat when you're ready!"

Jim comes up with Kane shuffling behind. Kane's starting to get a little less scared: while he's still having trouble wrapping his mind around the idea that Jim wouldn't want revenge, he hasn't been hurt so far, and Valen seems willing to protect him. Kane also looks a lot better, hardly a sign of injury left on him. He smiles at Valen when he sees him, sitting at the kitchen table. "Good morning."

Jim sits too, examining the omelet. He takes a bite. It's interesting, weird but not that bad. "Thanks, I love it."

Valen beams, clapping his hands.  "Wonderful, I'm so glad.  Kane, you look well this morning.  Have you ever cooked human food before?  It's one of the trickier things I've done.  I would have thought my background in the sciences would aid me, but it appears relatively useless."

"Oh god." Jim comments. He does not think Kane would do very well at it.

"I haven't. You made that? And it's good?" Kane asks. He would like to feed Jim. It feels... appropriate. "Can I learn?"

"Well, I can't speak for Jim, but I can show you how I do it.  Which is probably not exactly correct, but appears close enough."  His eyes flick over to Jim as the human bites into a piece of omelet that has bell pepper stem in it.  "It's probably about as passable as human food as the blood I make is as passable as blood."  He smirks.  "Given the right equipment, I can manufacture substandard yet sufficient meals for either a human or vampire.  I should be featured on some sort of cooking program!"

Jim laughs through his mouthful. "That would be amazing. You're so right." He spits the stem out like an olive pit. "Kane, you could use a cookbook before you start experimenting, if you really wanna learn. Prolly best to get the basics down first."  Jim finishes his omelet and orange happily, and his bread with a little less enthusiasm.

"Alright. Kane, I'm gonna grab you some clothes, a toothbrush, basic stuff. Anything specific you need?" Jim asks.

"No, that's, that's great. Thank you."

"Okay, later." Jim gives Valen a kiss on the cheek before heading out.  Before Jim leaves, Valen pulls him aside and politely tells him that although Kane loathes to ask for anything out of fear, Valen has noticed that he seems to prefer long-sleeves and long pants, to cover his skin up.

Once they’re finally alone, Kane tentatively asks, "You're really... together? With a human?"

Valen smiles at the question, blushing.  "Yes, I am.  Most vampires already consider me a sexual deviant, so I figure, might as well go all in."

"Huh." The concept is still a little odd to Kane, though not as odd as he supposes it should seem. "I suppose there's a little hope for us all, then. If a vampire and a human can fall in love."

Valen smiles so, so wide.  That's such a romantic notion, and Valen didn't even have to say it himself and then be embarrassed about it.  "I suppose so.  Have you ever fallen in love?"

"No, I'm not the romantic type." It's better this way. No one would ever possibly like him back, he'd only experience heartbreak if he were to fall in love with someone. "What's it like?"

Valen's eyes go distant, his expression warm, his mind fuzzy and elsewhere.  "It feels warm.  It's difficult to describe without resorting to meaningless fluffy metaphors, but it feels like someone is finally on your side.  Like you've discovered something rare and precious and all you can think about is how to keep it safe for as long as you can, and how lucky you are that the stars aligned in such a way that you get to enjoy a little corner of life that you've made for a while, in the huge vastness of the cosmos.  It's on your mind all the time, like a worry, but it makes you feel better instead of worse."

"It sounds beautiful. I'm glad you've found that with him. As long as you can." Kane says softly. Valen has to be aware of humans' short lifespans. He's probably thought about it a lot. There is no spending your life together with a human. He's a ticking time bomb to heartbreak. Jim has to be, what, a third of the way through his life? More? He can't help but pity Valen.

Valen nods.  "Yes, for however long it lasts.  I'm quite reminded of how heartbroken I was when my first cat died.  It will surely be painful in the end, but that doesn't make the happiness and love we share while we have it worth less.  I'm sure love is not so rare that Jim is the only person I can experience it with, nor me with him.'

"Yes, I'm sure." Kane decides to change the bleak subject, picking absentmindedly at the padding on his cuffs. "You're going to vampire territory tonight?"  He's glad there will be more blood available, but nervous to be away from Valen's protection.

"Yes, I'm planning on going straight there and back. I'm going to advise Jim to simply keep you in the basement unbothered until I return, as I think that will be safest for all of us."

"Yes, that, that sounds good." Kane can't fuck up if he's just left alone. In his wonderful blanket nest in the nice, sunless basement. His new favorite place on earth.

Valen can just go home, back to vampire territory, anytime he wants. It's strange to be captive in the presence of a free vampire.

Jim comes home with a week's worth of clothes, all long sleeves and pants that Kane can use to cover himself, and a few other basic items. Kane is overwhelmed by the gift, clutching the bag to his chest.

It's so nice here. If Kane could live like this forever, he could be happy, captive or not. He's fed and unhurt. That's all he needs.

"Thank you. Thank you so much. I know it's still... undecided, what the two of you would like to do with me. Um, I would do anything to stay here. Anything. Please."

Valen looks unsurely to Jim. "Well," he says hesitantly. "I don't think Jim has plans to send you away or anything.  We're not going to let you go, on account of the risk, no matter how small....and we're certainly not going to give you back to those dreadful hunters. I'd count myself lucky if none of us ever saw them again."

Kane is immensely relieved by Valen's words. He looks to Jim for confirmation.

"Yeah. You're staying. And no matter what, never going back there."

Kane puts his face in his hands. "Thank you. I don't know how I could ever repay you."

"Just keep bein' nice is all." Jim says.

"What they did to you was wrong," Valen says firmly. "To be clear. It would have been wrong no matter who you were. Under no circumstances would it be right to leave you there, knowing what they were doing to you. Even if you weren't 'nice.' It's nice of you to want to 'repay' us, but it's just basic decency. Same as how I had to save Jim, when he was out alone and vulnerable."

"Exactly. Even if you started being a shithead again, we wouldn't send you back there." Jim agrees.

Kane doesn't really get it. He did deserve it, didn't he? They're just kind enough to save him anyway.

"Yes. Decency." he agrees.  Maybe he'll understand one day.

***

@barebarb

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[tmwcs]

Heethan reaction to reader staining the bed on her period? I just need some fluff

Thank you and your Amazing ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Shark Week Part 2

Warnings: fluff...mentions or relating topics to smut but not smut itself. Just lots of fluff.

Wincing in pain, you felt extremely groggy as you finally woke up. Feeling Heeseung's arm around your waist, he was still softly sleeping with his face buried into your hair.

"Oh God....it....it hurts....why.....am I....am I starting my period....?"

Counting the weeks in your head, you realized that it was roughly time, especially considering you were seeing the early signs. The cramps, the exhaustion, the sweet cravings and the discomforting soreness that throbbed your entire lower region.

You knew you were going to start it....you just had no idea that it had happened over night. When Heeseung woke up to the feeling of you slightly shifting in pain, he places a kiss on your cheek, still too tired to notice that you were struggling.

"Hey baby, did you sleep well?" he asks.

"Yeah....fine.....I'm just....I'm hurting..." You openly admitted as the pain was getting worse.

"What? Why?" he asked in high concern as he props himself up and eyeballs your entire body.

"I...I think I'm about to start shark week....do I have any medicine left?" you asked as you winced in pain, cradling in and holding your stomach.

Watching you like this broke his heart. Whispering a simple "yeah." Heeseung opts to reach over you into his nightstand. Opening the drawer, he takes out the bottle and opens it, placing two pills in his palm. Reaching back over, he grabs the bottle water and brings it to your face along with the two capsules. "Here you go pretty baby." He gently issues as he plants his nose and lips against the back of your head.

"T-thank you." you murmured. It was a struggle to even talk let alone move, yet once you managed to shift yourself, that's when Heeseung noticed and his heart nearly broke in two.

The red pool of blood on his white sheets was so bright.....it was the same color as poppies. There was so much of it, and he could only imagine just how much pain you were in. Watching you from behind, noticing that you were unaware as you held your stomach and took your medicine, downing water like crazy since you felt dehydrated, he began to rub your waist and your back. His poor baby girl.....

"Baby...."

"yes?"

"lay back down."

Gently resting your head on his pillow, he gets up and carefully gets out of bed, keeping you covered with the blanket. Getting up with just a pair of black basketball shorts on, no shirt, he walks over and grabs out of the stash in his closet, a soft bake cookie and another bottled water. Walking over to you, he presents the two over and kisses your forehead.

"Oh...thank you." you murmured in surprise as you gently take the cookie and water. You weren't necessarily hungry just yet, but the look in his eye insisted you to eat it, while he pulled the blanket up and wrapped it around you, propping your back up against both pillows. Burying his nose and lips on the top of your head, he speaks into the thatch of your hair....

"Don't move, just sit here and i'll get the shower going for you."

Raising a brow out of confusion, you nodded and watched him walk into his private bathroom where he started up the shower. Coming back over to you, he kneels next to you as he scoops one hand under your knees, while the other cradles around your waist. "Grab onto me pretty." he softly speaks into your ear.

Doing as he demanded, you wrap your arms around where he gently lifts you off the bed, all in a princess style and takes you into the bathroom, with the blanket still wrapped around you. Gently lowering you to stand, he gently takes the blanket and tosses it on the floor.

Immediately turning back to you, having you facing him and avoiding the mirror, he taps under your elbows and softly tells you "arms up." Looking at him with slight confusion, you didn't question him as you merely complied and lifted your arms, where he rolled and pulled off his tee shirt that you wore to bed nearly every night, it was your favorite. He loved seeing you in it and smiled at the idea that one of his shirts became your favorite piece to wear to bed. Once removed, he tosses it over to the meet with the blanket, accumulating a small pile. You almost never wore a bra to sleep, and God...did he ever love the feeling of slipping his hands under his shirt and feeling your soft, nude breasts every night and morning.

With only a pair of lace panties on, he kneels down and gently pulls them down for you, tapping his shoulders to gesture for you to place your hands on for balance, which you did without hesitation as you watched him pull your panties through one leg at a time. Balling it up, he tosses it over to the pile. With the lights set to dim, which he did on purpose, and your panties being black, you still didnt note the blood as you didnt see the discoloration. He made sure to cover as much of the fact away from you, since you were already in so much pain, the least he could do was help clean you up and try his best to make it unknown to you. The last thing you needed, was to feel embarrassed, worried, and guilty for bleeding out onto the sheets, which he knew you would resort to as an initial reaction.

After getting you stark naked, he hugs and kisses your forehead once more before gently guiding you inside the shower. "Take your time." he deeply yet softly emits as he closes the shower door.

You were somewhat confused but didnt mind or pay too much thought since the warm water took away the pain in your gut as it coats your skin. It felt so soothing and was a nice distraction from the oncoming cycle that would have you nearly bedridden. The rainwater effect of the shower head diluted the blood, never once allowing you to see that you were already bleeding out.

As you took your shower, Heeseung started a load of laundry, and tackled the mattress as he effortlessly cleans out the red stain and pats it dry. All thanks to previous conversations he had with his mother, and yours. Setting a set of new sheets on the bed, and a clean comforter, he went the extra mile and grabbed another one of his tee shirts, a black one, with the logo "This is never that" inscribed on the center. Grabbing a pair of your boy short panties, he sets it down on the bathroom counter, never saying a word.

As you finished showering, you saw the black tee and boy shorts on the counter. No matter, it was the weekend and you didn't have plans to go anywhere. Sitting in bed, wearing one of his tee shirts and watching TV sounded suitable. But how odd that he would give you a new tee to wear since the other one was just freshly washed a day ago. Shrugging it off, you dress yourself and figured you might as well take the extra step and place on a pad/tampon since you felt yourself about to start.

Stepping out of the bathroom, you looked around and found that Heeseung wasn't in the room. However, your phone dinged in a message, and once reviewing that it was from him, you figured he went to the store to pick up some items for you, since you had mentioned your menstrual cycle breaching.

You were right.....he did go and get you some things.....

"I"m back."

"Oh wow, you weren't gone long at all."

"Yeah well it doesn't take me long when i know what you like." winking at you with a dashing smirk, he kisses and sits you atop the bed. His hands gripped you strongly, to the point where it slightly caught you off guard and a look of confusion masked your face as he gently pulls you down on the bed spread and props you against two pillows. Softly whispering into your lips, with his hat covering his eyes, ever so traditionally his style, he softly tells you as he rubs your arms and gently sits you back against the two pillows....

"You should be resting....and warm." Stroking his thumbs up and down, he looks over to the side and starts up the heating blanket that he got for you way before, when he first experienced your pains with your monthly cycle. Wrapping you with the blanket, he leans down and picks up the bagged items from the store. Setting them down next to you, he cups your face gently and kisses the tip of your nose. "Eat. If you need anything, just tell me, i'll be right here at my desk doing some work."

With that, he migrates over to the next of the bed and sits down at his laptop, typing away and focusing on grading exams.

Looking into the bag, you smiled and gasped out excitement when you held up a container of "Nutella!"

With his eyes never leaving the screen, he smirks as he continues to work on his papers.

"you got me a candle?" you inquired, a bit surprised that a small jar of aromatherapy was something he considered and bought at the store. Still typing away with his eyes on the screen, he nodded as he issued his response. "I did. Its cucumber and melon, i remember you said you liked that scent so I grabbed it once i saw it." he mentions as he continues to grade papers.

Digging further into the bag, you were shocked to see that he got you a myriad of snacks, a small bottle of peach scented lotion, and a small box of pastries from your favorite bakery set on the bottom. The second bag, was a large gift bag in shiny blue, and carried something that you didn't expect.

"A Pikachu plushie?" you remarked as you gasped slightly with a large smile on your face. Hugging it, you felt yourself melting at how soft and squishy it was. Chuckling to himself, he never once set his eyes off the screen, he merely listened in on your reactions as you took out one item from the next.

"Thank you babe! I love it!" you remarked as you nuzzled into the softness of the stuffed toy.

Hours later, you were in a deep sleep, halfway in a fetal position while cradling and holding onto the plushie he got you earlier. It was perfect, the size and thickness of the plushie allowed you to sleep on your side as you rest the toy slightly under your side to provide some support to your waistline.

Getting up from his desk, finally completing his work, he stretches as he turns to eyeball you. Seeing how soundlessly asleep you were brought a smile to his face, you looked so peaceful.....and that's how he wanted you to be. Knowing that this time of the month was the most excruciating for you, he didn't want to see you in constant pain. Walking over, he sits next to you on the bed, leaning in to brush your hair away from your face, noting the deep breathing of your slumber. Hovering over, he leans in and spoons you from behind, gently rubbing your breasts and waistline as you remained sleeping. Knowing that you were without pain, and in a tranquil state, put his mind at ease and allowed him to rest peacefully. When you are hurting, he too would be hurting....more than you would ever know.

Tugging the plushie closer to you, he cradles you in and rests his chin over your shoulder. To him, you deserved the world and so much more, but for now, this will do just fine.

[smolwritingchick]

The Bangtan Gal Chapter 89- Blood, Sweat & Tears

Chapter Summary: Jennie and Jimin fight over his extreme diet. BTS film BST with Jennie and Taehyung filming a sexy scene together. Jennie spends time with GOT7.

Words: 7,000+

Author's Note: A reader had messaged me years ago and sent me fanart of Jennie for Blood, Sweat & Tears back in 2018! This is by mimikoe_ on Instagram! If you see this, thank you again for your art! I appreciate you! This was so sweet of you. I hope they keep drawing! They are so talented!

This chapter gave me a bit of anxiety. I'm so sorry for the angst. At the time of editing this, I felt like I should have just deleted this argument between Jimin and Jennie but I decided to keep it and have my character mess up. Show more character development of her learning from her mistakes. Angst for this but it will end fluffy. This topic is such a serious matter so I felt a bit wary now that I'm older and looking back at what I wrote years ago. Again, I'm sorry if I made anyone uncomfortable with this. :( This one for the angst is regarding Jimin's diet for the BST era. After that, I did not write any more about the diet. This will be it.

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The following day, at Big Hit’s building, the members got ready for their dance practice in the studio. Jennie went to the bathroom and once she was done she found Jimin finishing up getting a drink from the water fountain. 

Once he turned around, he grinned. “Ready to go back?”

“Uh huh!” she smiled back.

She stared at his face longer than usual and couldn’t help but feel something off about him. His face looked even smaller which began to worry her.

“Yo, your face,” she placed a palm against his cheek to examine how small it had gotten.

His cheeks were gone and his jawline had gotten sharper. Something was not right.

“Did you eat at all today?” she exclaimed with concern. “Or even yesterday?”

Jimin’s stomach dropped at her questioning. He then pulled away from her and started to walk away. He could not face her. He could not bring himself to look at the hurt in her eyes. The concern in her eyes. He wished she would stop chasing after him like this to get a solid answer. All he wanted to do was be left alone to diet in peace. Jin already gave him an earful, asking him why is he going to this extent to lose weight but Jimin felt like this was the best thing to do. To look perfect for their next comeback.

“Jimin, you’re stressing me out!” her words took him away from his thoughts as she walked after him around Big Hit’s building. “What is the issue?”

“Can you please stop talking about this? I said I’m all right,” he snapped.

She chose to ignore the irritation in his voice and persisted in questioning him. Grabbing his hand to stop him, he turned around, displeased.

“Your face is so much smaller than usual! Are you not eating?!” she exclaimed.

Pulling her to him as she bumped into his chest, Jimin looked down at her. He was bothered by her interrogation.

“Can you stop being so loud?” he hissed in a hushed voice, glaring at her.

“Stop being so loud? This is the perfect volume to get what I’m saying through your head! Let’s be late to practice and go out to eat real quick. Okay? I’ll take the blame. I don’t mind being lectured for being late for both of us. It’s okay. Just come with me to eat, please! Noodles. Let’s get noodles! And pork, too! Lots of it! Or even chicken! My treat! I’ll pay!” she insisted, despairingly trying to get him to eat with her.

Jimin was conflicted. She was willing to get in trouble just so he could eat instead of dancing with an empty stomach. She did not mind going to practice late as long as he would get a meal in him. 

He wanted to. He wanted to say yes. But he couldn’t. He felt like he needed to diet.

“I’m not hungry,” he responded with a frown and released her.

“Yes, you are! I’ve seen the way you’d clutch your stomach and heard your stomach growl a lot this morning! What you’re doing is making yourself sick! You cannot do this to your body! Your body is going to break down! You gotta listen to it! You gotta feed it! Not let it go so long without food! We’re performers. We need all the energy we can get. And then our comeback is so soon, come on, Jimin!”

Running his hands through his silver hair, he shouted sternly with a growl, “Enough, Jennie! Enough! Just shut up already! Stop bothering me about it and leave me the hell alone!”

The harsh sound of his voice made her flinch as her stomach dropped from his anger. It began to scare her. He never yelled at her like this. He never actually yelled at her at all. And soon she felt tears of frustration and anger beginning to form in her eyes. The 95 Liner clenched his jaw as his anger amplified. He felt angrier at himself for shouting as it started to get the attention of staff members. And soon after Namjoon was walking over to them, worried after hearing them from the practice room.

‘Ennie...I’m so sorry...’ he thought sadly.

Jimin didn’t mean to shout. He didn’t mean to get this riled up, especially towards his precious Ennie of all people. But he wanted her to back off and let him be. Why couldn’t she just let him do this in peace?

As his words registered in her brain, she started to feel vexation overcome her, “Don’t you ever tell me to shut up! I’m trying to help you!”

“Hey!” Namjoon butted in, getting in between them.

“I didn’t ask for it! Learn to stay out of everyone’s business!” Jimin shouted.

“What you’re doing is not necessary and it’s absurd!” she shouted back.

“You wouldn’t understand-“

“Understand what!?” her voice went higher. “Why are you doing this? Huh!? Is it because of what others think?! You don’t need to lose any weight whatsoever, so end this crap, right now!”

Jimin felt his body shake as he listened to her voice her opinion on the matter. 

Grabbing him by his shoulders, she shouted as tears began to slowly go down her cheeks, “You are more than just abs! You are fine just the way you are, why can’t you see that!? People aren’t your real fans if they only see you for your body, Chim Chim! Please don’t do this to yourself, I don’t want to see you like this. It’s breaking my heart, Jimin, just stop it!”

Shrugging her off of him, Jimin found himself walking away before he ended up yelling more harshly. It was like talking to a wall. She just would not stop talking about it.

“Sometimes I wish you would just shut up and stop getting involved! Just let things happen, no one needs to hear your piece or what you think someone should do. If I want to do this, then let me do this. You are so annoying!” he angrily replied.

“Stop! We’re not doing this! Come on. Let’s get into the practice room. We do not need to be fighting, right now. This is not the time or place,” Namjoon warned them.

Jimin angrily stormed into the practice room and slammed the door shut. Jen let out a frustrated sigh. This was not supposed to be like this. Why did it have to be this way?

“Jennie...” Namjoon frowned and walked over to her to try to calm her down.

More tears flowed down her face as she paced around. Blowing air out of her mouth, she looked up, trying to calm herself down. She wiped her tears and took a moment to regroup before turning her attention to her leader.

“So, you’re just going to let him continue doing this? Let him go? Do you not see what’s going on? How serious this is!? How wrong this is!?”

“I do,” he responded calmly. “We tried to invite him to eat but he just wouldn’t eat with us and wanted to continue to diet...”

"I just want this to end," she shook her head and walked past him to go back to the dance studio.

As soon as Jimin stormed into the practice room, the rest of the members immediately wanted to know what happened. Everybody heard their shouting match and from the look of Jimin’s scowl, things were not getting resolved, anytime soon.

No matter how many times the boys asked him what was wrong and what happened between him and Jennie, Jimin remained silent and shook his head. After a while, Jennie strolled in with Namjoon. Her scowl matched Jimin’s and she too remained silent when she was asked about what happened.

“Is everything all right?” Mr. Son asked, noticing a dramatic shift in the atmosphere of the room.

Neither Jen nor Jimin answered, feeling quite defeated and bummed from their huge blowout. Namjoon had to answer for them by saying that things would be fine. Dance practice was awkward and it seemed like the group couldn’t get synchronized because Jimin and Jennie were thinking about their fight. Namjoon also couldn’t quite stay focused as he thought about their mentalities. And the curiosity of the rest of the group led to everything noticeably off about their movements.

Seeing problems in their dancing, Mr. Son told them to stop and questioned everybody. “What is going on? We film the music video in a week and the choreography is looking sloppy. Whatever happened between you two,” he glanced at Jimin and Jennie, “You must put that behind you and stay focused on this comeback,”

Easier said than done.

After practice, Jennie chose not to go straight back to the dorm and decided to drown herself in work. She began writing things she was feeling. Writing out her feelings made her feel somewhat better, but just being away from Jimin for as long as she could also helped. Everything about that argument bothered her. She wanted to stop thinking about it but it was nothing that she could do to get it out of her head.

Same with Jimin as he continued to tell the members to leave the situation alone and let him cope in peace at the dorm.

The following day, Jimin and Jennie completely ignored each other. No acknowledgment whatsoever. Not even a good morning. Jungkook and Taehyung noticed the tension and were saddened that half of the Maknae Line weren’t on good terms. The two tried to get them to at least speak to each other but to no avail. This lasted for a few days.

Having enough of the tension, Namjoon went to her studio to speak with Jen privately.

“I want to talk to you about what happened between you and Jimin,” he said, taking a seat on her couch.

Jennie rolled her eyes at his name. She didn’t want to think about him. The sight of him and the sound of his voice and name made her cringe as she thought back to their intense confrontation. She didn’t want to think about it and wished Namjoon would drop it. The situation made her uncomfortable and she wanted to avoid it.

Running a hand through his hair, Namjoon let out a sigh. “I get what you tried to do but I don’t think the way you went about it was the best action,” he softly criticized.

Before she could protest, he shook his head and she closed her mouth.

“Jennie, you were in the wrong this time. You can’t just blow up like that when someone is dealing with issues as serious as this. That wasn’t right and you should consider Jimin’s feelings and his mentality. I think it hurt him more the way you raised your voice at him. He’s struggling and we’re all trying to help but we cannot force him to eat. I think if you two spoke privately instead of where all the staff was, things would have gone better. It’s not that easy to try to get him to eat just because you want to see him eat. I understand your intentions but again, you can’t make him eat, Jennie. You can’t force him to do what you think he should do. He has to make that choice,”

Jennie looked down at her lap and frowned as she thought about his words. Her mind went back to her dispute with Jimin and she cringed at how she acted.

Wow...

She did not see that point of view and now she felt like shit. She felt like a shitty friend and she felt selfish.

Yes, he was right. She should have gone a different route instead of blowing up like that. How she acted was judgmental and she seemed to have been more critical of Jimin instead of showing compassion. It just hurt to see him like that and she wanted to try to do something. But it seemed like she most likely made the situation worse along with her poor choice of words.

Jimin was right. She should just stop butting into people’s business all the time. It seems like everything she does just gets worse. She wanted to help but what she had done was not the best route to go. She needed to apologize to him.

“You two need some space,” Namjoon advised. “But once you two cooled down a bit, it’s best you apologize. I don’t want to see you two fight,”

After a deep conversation with Namjoon, Jennie spent the rest of the day catching up with GOT7, who they were thrilled to see. Spending time with them, made her briefly forget about the struggles with Jimin and boosted her mood with their goofiness and positivity.

The group decided to go paintballing, which she thought was one of the best ways to let off some steam. They chose to split into teams of two.

“I choose Jennie!” Jackson announced.

“Too late, I called dibs already,” JB replied.

“Since when!?”

“Since this morning,”

“She likes me the best, so that makes me her partner,” Bam Bam announced.

Jen laughed at their banter as the group began bickering.

“Actually, she’s my partner. I asked her the day before,” Mark grinned victoriously.

“Yep. He did. Mark is my partner,” she admitted with a sheepish grin.

“What!? That is not fair!” Jackson complained.

“If I had known I would have asked her as soon as she yes to paintballing!” Jinyoung exclaimed.

The teams consisted of Youngjae & JB, Jackson & Jinyoung, and BamBam & Yugyeom.

As they prepared to get ready, Yugyeom and Jennie chatted.

“Ah, I wish Jungkook joined us. He would’ve loved this,” he said, thinking about his best friend.

“I know~. Today, he’s busy working on some choreography. I believe it’s for Begin. But don’t worry we’ll have plenty of more opportunities to hang out. Comeback season is always so busy. I’m happy I was able to get away from work for a little while to see you guys.”

“Yeah, me too. I can’t wait. I miss him. You two are doing well, right?”

“Yeah huh. Still going strong,”

“Good. He talks about you so much when he’s with me and the guys. Don’t tell him, I said that,” he teased, making her face heat up.

She giggled. “Even when he’s not here, he always makes me feel special,”

“He better be treating you, well. If not, I’ll fight him,” Bam Bam added in a teasing manner, making them laugh.

“Haha, thanks. Hey guys, how’s your upcoming comeback coming along?” she asked. “I’m anticipating Hard Carry,”

“Oh, you are going to love it! I hope we get some wins for it,” JB responded.

“Ooh, my excitement for it is building~,”

“How are the preparations for your comeback?” Youngjae asked her. “I still cannot believe you dyed your hair red. It’s a great color for you. You look beautiful,”

“Aw, you think so?” Jen beamed and touched her red hair. “Thank you. I was so nervous about getting it dyed. But I’m happy with the results,”

“Oh, heck yeah! I was like is that Jennie!? Wow~! So pretty!” Bam Bam added.

“Red suits you well, Jen,” Yugyeom stated.

“You guys are so sweet. As for our comeback, it’s going well. But uh, Jimin and I had a little falling out. So, I’m a little off my game and happy I’m here to get rid of some of that tension,”

“A falling out?” Jinyoung asked, surprised.

“What?! You and Jimin? I thought I would never see this. You two are always so close,” Jackson said in disbelief.

His words made Jen feel even shitter as she felt even more bad about what she had done.

“What happened?” Mark asked.

She then explained the whole situation to them. Every detail and how she had a talk with Namjoon and that she realized how wrong she was.

“Although it’s none of my business with what he does with his body, I couldn’t help but want to talk him out of whatever he’s doing because his face looked so skinny. Skinnier than usual. But all I did was make it worse. I’m hoping maybe after today I could get him alone and apologize,” she said with a sigh.

“Ah, I see. I still think you are a good person. We all make mistakes and sometimes go a little too far with our words and how we say them. Jimin cares a lot about you. I’m sure this falling out will not be the end of your friendship. It’ll take some time but you and Jimin will rekindle soon enough,” JB encouraged her.

The gang played five rounds of paintballing. The games were filled with chaos and laughter as Jennie and Mark kept getting hit since the other teams wanted them out quickly. Although Jen and Mark didn’t win, it was just nice to get away from the stress of comeback preparations and unwind with everyone.

After paintballing, Bam Bam insisted on taking photos as he stood close by Jennie and lifted his phone in the air for a group selfie with him, Mark, and YoungJae.

‘She’s here with us!! I’m happy to see you, Jennie! #GOT8 #JenBam’ he posted to a widely positive reception that she was still in touch with GOT7.

---------

Later in the evening, Jen checked her Instagram to see more new photos that GOT7 posted with her.

To the selfie of her and Bam Bam alone, Jackson commented, 'I see u forgot to include me!’

Laughing, she typed out, 'Bro, you knew we were taking photos lolll :P’

After some more commenting, she went to find Jimin in Big Hit’s building. Hearing music from the practice room, she made her way over to it and watched him dance to Lie. It appeared that he had to be practicing for hours. Exhaustion was clear on his face but he showed no sign of stopping.

When Jimin saw the door open, he did not look too pleased to see who had walked in.

“What do you want?” he asked in a flat tone.

“I’m probably the last person you want to see, right now. But I just wanted to apologize for yelling at you. I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have tried to pressure you to eat. That was wrong of me. I’m sorry,” she said with a frown.

Jimin looked down and remained silent, taking her words in.

“I hurt you a lot,” she went on softly, voice sounding brittle. “Perhaps it was the way I yelled at you. Or how I sounded judgmental instead of showing you compassion and support. I shouldn’t have yelled or tried to pressure you to do anything. And you probably don’t want to speak to me or whatever so okay. I’ll give you space and stay out of your way. I just wanted to apologize. And whenever you are ready to talk, I’ll be here,”

She took his silence as where he stood in the situation. As expected, she knew he wasn’t going to easily forgive her. He needed time and space.

“O-okay, I’ll be going, now. See you,” she made her way to the door.

Part of her hoped that he’d stop her and say that he forgave her but it didn’t work that way in this serious situation. He let her go. And it’ll take him some time to forgive her.

---------

As the week went by, it was finally the day BTS filmed Blood, Sweat & Tears. Each member of BTS was dressed and ready for filming as they were excited about the upcoming comeback.

“Eeeek! Today is the day~! I am so stoked! We are here for the first day of shooting Blood, Sweat & Tears! Look at me! I look so bomb!” she turned around, showing off her outfit.

“Ah, watch the shirt. It’s not buttoned all the way,” Jin popped in the shot and fixed her shirt for her. “There, much better. Jin to the rescue!”

She laughed. “Thank you,”

“Wings, the album for us,” Rapmon declared when the camera was filming him.

“It’s very elegant and luxurious,” J-Hope addressed as he showed off the background. “Look at the set,”

For the first day, the group did their first shots of dancing. Even just performing it once, made the members hot and out of breath. The staff provided fans and blowdryers blowing cool air to cool them down, which helped tremendously.

“This concept is more sexy than usual. So, I am going to try to be sexy for this music video. Keyword, try,” Jen added.

'That won’t be hard, Jennie!’

After the first takes of dancing, the camera showed shots of the members watching the film, to monitor anything they needed to work on.

Hobi and Jennie glanced at each other after they watched how she messed up.

"You saw too, right?" Hobi asked as she nodded.

“Yeah. I did that, too early,” she replied as she watched herself jump a few seconds before the rest of the group.

Once they filmed again, a sudden sound of shattered glass was heard and the director stopped the filming.

“The glass is broken!” was announced and it was none other than Rap Monster who was the reason behind it.

'God of destruction, Rap Monster’

“Jeez...” Jen exclaimed, looking at the broken glass.

“Rap Monster!” J-Hope told the camera.

When the camera was pointed at Rapmon who laughed about the ordeal, he exclaimed, “Bam!” as he thought about how he broke the glass. “I don’t know why always...I don’t know why I break things,”

'We want to know the reason, too’

After the shooting resumed, the next scene was set in a room where the members sat on the couch. For this scene, Jennie was not in the same room as them. Instead, for the beginning of the music video, she had an individual shot.

“Action!”

She ran lightly down the hallway until she found a door. On the other side of the door was another camera waiting. She pulled the doors open and looked surprised to see the seven boys sitting.

“Cut! Good job!”

“Ayeeee. First try!” she bounced around in excitement.

Although Jimin still wasn’t speaking to her, he couldn’t help but smile softly at her excitement. She was doing a good job of filming.

“Jennie makes the best facial expressions when she is filming. Good acting,” Jin grinned as he got his makeup retouched.

After her shot was done, she stood in the background as the boys sat on the couch and floor. Suga stood behind Jimin and covered his eyes.

“We are moving to the table. We have to change our hairstyle. Let’s go!” Jimin said.

The group changed into white clothes. Jennie wore white pants and a white blazer with her red hair styled in a high ponytail. The scene was set up like a dinner. Decorations of white, including the tablecloths and chairs.

“Are you ready to enjoy the dinner?” J-Hope asked Suga.

‘The eight noble members’

“Rap Monster, I can see your belly button. This concept matches you so well,” Suga said, making him chuckle.

Jennie sat across from Jin on the other side of the table. Jungkook, Rap Monster, and V sat on one side while J-Hope, Suga, and Jimin sat on the other side. J-Hope and Jungkook sat the closest to Jennie while V and Jimin sat the closest to Jin. Jin sat up from the table and lifted his cup in the air, while the rest of the boys followed his movements with blank stares. All they had to do was raise up their drinks but for the first shot, V couldn’t contain himself and laughed, which made the rest of the group laugh, too.

‘One more try due to V’s laughter’

On the second time, the members cheered successfully. With Jennie, instead of a blank expression, she looked hesitant as she raised her glass and then stared at it. Locking eyes with Jin, she shook her head and he began to stop himself from drinking the drink.

Little did they know V watched everything. He looked intrigued by her as he raised an eyebrow and smirked.

Suddenly, she slowly turned her glass to the side and watched it spill on the table, refusing to drink it. With the camera focusing on V, while the rest were occupied with their drinks, he watched Jennie with a sly smirk on his face. Sensing that something wasn’t right, she narrowed her eyes at him.

‘Finished the shooting without laughing this time’

With the rest leaving, only Jin, V, and Jennie were left. The director wanted Taennie to improvise the scene of having a staredown at the table. As the two were filmed with tension advancing between them, Jin was stuck in the middle, looking on while he was also back in his seat. 

Jennie loved filming with Taehyung. It was just something about how at ease she felt when she was with him. He always found ways to enhance their scenes and he pushed her to be a better actress for Bangtan’s music videos. 

As they stared at one another, she did not look too pleased to see how confident V looked regarding Jin. After they got their shots, V was good to leave while Jen and Jin were left.

"V and Jen have good chemistry. I felt like I was interrupting something when I was watching them. I wanted to say, should I leave?” Jin laughed.

When the song came on, Jennie lip-synced her verse as she sat in a chair, leaning back. She had her feet on the table and then did more shots looking sexy for the camera. 

Being very close to EXO's Sehun since meeting the group, the two recently chatted about their comebacks. Sehun informed her he filmed shots of his feet on the table for Monster, so she wanted to do some sort of cool parallel with him and reenact his movements, hoping it would make it in the music video.

Once they got what they needed, Jennie and Jin were the last to leave as they bowed and thanked the staff.

“Day one complete! Time to go to sleep~!” she beamed.

‘Day 2’

Day two consisted of more individual shots for the group. Jen looked amazed at the set as the first set consisted of Suga and Jimin in the top room while Jungkook and Rapmon were in the bottom room. V even had to jump off a balcony as each member had different concepts. Jimin and Suga were the first ones to leave early as she waited for when it was her time to shoot.

After getting her hair and makeup done, she went to watch Jungkook film his shots on a swing that was hanging from the ceiling.

“I wish I was on the swing. That looks so fun,” she commented.

Jungkook had to do a tough wire scene, getting lifted in the air. His hair was covered in feathers which made her giggle. Once he was safely set down, he sat up, scrunching his face because of the feathers covering his face.

“Have a nice time up there?” she teased and removed the feathers from his head.

“It was alright. My back hurts but the scene was alright. I hated the feathers, though. Jennie, can you give me a massage when you get home from filming?”

When she responded, “Yeah, absolutely,” his eyes lit up.

Jennie's scene consisted of her in a garden and wearing a flower crown and tiara for the occasion.

“I’m in a garden~! Look at all these flowers,” she spun around. “Simple take. Explore around the garden, and look like the baddest chick in the game. I can do that,”

The camera followed her exploring the garden and looking beautiful in the environment. Jin was called in to join her and she filmed a few takes of being a good influence on him by taking walks together. She also placed a hand on his cheek and looked at him in concern, making sure he was all right with V lurking around them. After the rest of the members went home, Jennie and V were left with their scene together.

“For this, I’m the good girl. Or so I think. Let’s say I’m more of an angel while V is more like the bad guy. A fallen angel or a devil. I’m trying to be like the good side of Jin while he’s the bad side of Jin. Soooo, this is not going to end well. But I will prevail! I will win this battle and get Jin to the good side. So, in your face V! You are not winning today!” she punched the camera lightly.

When the camera transitioned to V, he chuckled, getting into character. “Ennie, Ennie, Ennie...she’s going to lose this battle. I’ll give her an A for effort but the dark side will win,”

“Lies!” Jen’s voice was heard across the room, making him laugh along with her.

“Action!” the director announced.

Jennie proceeded to walk down the hallway with V lurking from a distance. Feeling someone following her, she turned around but didn’t see anyone. But once she turned back around, V was in front of her, catching her by surprise. After they filmed the scene a few times, the director wanted their next scene to be sexy. The whole comeback had sensual vibes to it, especially with the choreography.

Lately, as Big Hit had been planning the comeback, they predicted that fans were going to give Taennie a lot of attention due to the fact of their scenes together for the music video. So, the company was highly considering making the pair act on that for promotions. Taehyung and Jennie didn’t mind it. They thought it was funny to troll fans into thinking they were dating or something for the comeback. Although there was a slight fear in the back of her mind of a hate train for her, in the end, she went with it and felt comfortable with her best friend.

Taehyung had been nothing but sweet to her about the idea. He even asked her about boundaries and what she was comfortable with so they could make this as believable as possible without making each other feel awkward. They thought that subtly was the way to go, with lingering gazes during music shows, and so on. They make a bold statement for the music video but then keep fans speculating with subtle displays of affection when on camera. 

When they told Jungkook about it, he kept wishing it was him in the situation but for the music video and comeback in general, the director felt best for it to be Taehyung instead due to the role he was playing. He understood it and knew it was just acting between them.

Getting in position for their next scene, Jennie gave him a warning, “I ate smarties before this so my breath smells like smarties. I hope you like the smell of smarties when you lean in close,”

Taehyung giggled. “It’s okay!”

He began to get himself into character, looking at the ground while Jennie continued to look up at him, ready to begin acting.

“And...ACTION!” the director announced.

As soon as he heard the director say action, it was like a switch went off of V as he looked up and appeared lustful towards her and a little crazed.

With her back connecting to the wall with a harsh thud, Jen did not flinch when V lunged and slammed his hands on the wall, trapping her while staring sharply into her eyes. The sound of his hands slamming on the wall made a loud sound as they maintained eye contact. The song played in the background while they proceeded to act out their scene.

‘Taehyung and Jennie filming part of their sexy scene together. Strong eye contact!’

She stared at him, unamused, making sure not to give in to anything he was trying to offer. She then turned her head away, facing the camera when he inched closer with a wicked grin on his face. She felt his warm breath against her cheek before he began to move down to her neck as she appeared to have an ongoing battle with giving him her attention. Lust was clear in his eyes as he tried his best to tempt her.

While still staring at the camera with a sexy gaze, she began to lip sync.

How much longer before you consume me?

No matter how much I resist, I can’t fight what you’re doing

My mind is telling me to break free but my body screaming out

No, I can’t want you, get out of my head

As you kiss every inch of me you see that I want it too

Breath on my neck, I bit off more than I can chew

V placed his forearm over her head and she looked up at him. She shook her head and was about to look away again but this time he grabbed her chin with his other hand and made her look at him.

Their faces were extremely close as their lips were centimeters away from each other. As they both glanced at each other's lips, it was like he was luring her to kiss him, wondering when she’d crack as he slowly felt her losing resistance. 

Reflecting on my choices, I’m wonderin’ if there’s any way out of this.

I’m losing this battle, I just can’t resist this

Only a matter of time before you screw me up and I’ll be stuck reminiscing

With that sinister smile on his lips, he stuck his tongue out and bit his bottom lip lightly. Pulling herself together and realizing how close she was to giving in, she shoved him back. Quickly, she walked away while he watched her go, satisfied.

“Great!” the director announced. 

As soon as they heard him say that, Jennie and Taehyung burst out in laughter, unable to hold it in anymore. After she walked back to him, they bantered to each other at how funny this was for them to do this. This was War of Hormone but on a whole different level of mature sexiness.

Although they weren’t sure how much of this footage would be in the MV, the staff wanted them to improvise. For another take, Jennie stood on his shoes to make herself higher and placed a hand on the back of his shoulder while looking over his shoulder at the camera in front of her. With her free hand, she ran a hand through his blond hair. Then for another shot, she stood in front of him with him behind, holding her close while she lip synced. 

When they went to see the footage with the director, they analyzed their movements and made sure everything was top notch. Taehyung laughed nervously when watching himself be so forceful with her.

“Ennie, I am so sorry,” he grinned nervously. “Did I hurt you?”

“No, no, I’m fine.” she smiled in reassurance and turned back to the video. 

Her face felt flushed when watching herself act sensuous. It was still so weird to see herself like that. But she was proud of her efforts.

"This is...intense," she looked on. "Is this going to be appropriate for the music video rating? Oh gosh. And maybe it was a good idea to wait until the members left to film. Because oh my gosh, their reaction to this? We’re never going to hear the end of it. Maybe this can be a Bangtan Bomb if all of this doesn’t make it in the music video,”

“Ennie looks radiant in this. Wow, so beautiful,” Taehyung praised.

“Oh stop~. Look at you! ARMY is going to blush when they see you in this music video. A born visual he is,”

“Thanks, Ennie. We make a great team,” he pulled her in for a kiss on her temple.

“This was perfect!” the director praised after watching all of their footage. Their chemistry was impeccable, to say the least. “We don’t need to take another shot of this scene. We’re finished,”

“YAY~! We did it!” Taehyung cheered and joined Jennie in jumping around while holding hands in excitement.

‘Day 3’

The final day of filming started with Jin who was supposed to kiss the statue and Jen was in the background.

“Action!”

The camera followed Jennie quickly as she was dashing down the hallway. But she was suddenly grabbed from behind by V as she yelled, “Don’t! Snap out of it!“

That seemed to have made Jin pause as he looked back to see the two. But in the end, she helplessly watched Jin fall into temptation. 

After the scene, all the members are together, acting like good friends. The scene was supposed to show them being free and mischievous. Jen strolled a little behind the boys, smiling at them while looking around. Her attention caught Jin staring at the painting called The Fall Of The Rebel Angels. There were two entrances on each side of him as he stood in the middle. A black entrance and a white entrance. One good and one bad. To resist or sin.

Jennie went up to him, standing in front of the white entrance. Gently grabbing onto one of his hands, he turned and looked down at her while she smiled, gesturing for him to follow her to the white entrance. But then V came over and stood on Jin’s other side, in front of the black entrance, which made Jin turn his attention to him. V smirked at the both of them while Jennie slowly dropped her smile, fearing for the worst.

After the members ran through the door and Jin was left behind, Suga was supposed to cover Jin’s eyes and after a few takes it looked funny due to his height, so Jin suggested switching partners. V replaced him to cover Jin’s eyes instead and it worked perfectly. Then for their final filming session, they were filmed performing the choreography.

When the director said cut, Jen turned around to see Jimin looking exhausted as he leaned forward, putting his hands on his knees. Jin went over to him and placed a hand on his back, looking concerned.

'Gosh, I hope he’s all right,’ she thought as she chose to keep her word by leaving him alone.

After the group performed the dance one last time, the director announced they were done and BTS celebrated with cheers and ran around, proud of their hard work.

------------

A few days later, Bangtan was filmed doing a dance practice for BST so it could be posted as a Bangtan Bomb. Jen found herself getting more and more frustrated and concerned for Jimin’s well being but chose to stay out of it to avoid another argument. She wanted to respect his space and wishes but it was eating her inside to see him look light headed every time he moved.

She wasn’t sure if it was people on social media who made fun of his weight or something but whatever it was, it made her upset to see her friend like this. 

She was distracted. Her conversation with Namjoon went through her head and she found herself glancing over at Jimin from time to time. He wasn’t himself. She noticed how he would stumble sometimes and hold his head. She feared something bad was about to happen.

With Jimin, he was feeling dizzy due to the lack of energy and food. His lightheadedness was getting stronger as the song progressed. After jumping around during the dance, Jimin felt himself falling back, and losing consciousness.

By instinct, Jennie ran up behind him to catch him. She fell hard on her butt, wincing at the impact. But all that mattered was that Jimin was OK in her arms. She could deal with some pain.

“Jimin!” she shouted with fear in her voice as the members rushed to him.

"What happened!? Is he all right?! Jimin!” loud commotion surrounded them as they tried to help him.

Everyone freaked out when he passed out and staff tended to him until he regained consciousness. Jen stood out of the way after the staff took over. Jimin kept reassuring everyone that he was fine and could keep going but dance practice was canceled for the rest of the day and he was told to rest.

At the dorm, Jimin went to rest like he was told and ate a little. Jen was happy to see him trying to put something in his stomach after passing out as well as continuing to drink water.

“That was scary, Jimin. You sure you’re all right?” Taehyung asked with concern as he sat on his bed with Jungkook. “I’m glad Jennie caught you before you hit your head on the floor. That would have been even scarier,”

The new information he was told sparked Jimin’s interest as he looked astonished that it was her. He did feel something soft before he lost consciousness.

“She caught me?”

“Yeah, it was like she zoomed right behind you before you connected to the floor,” Jungkook added. “Like she knew something was wrong. I know you have your reasons for doing this but please be careful with the diet. We’re all here for you, you know that,”

Jimin nodded. He was grateful for Jennie catching him. He seriously could have given himself a concussion since he fell so abruptly. He found himself wanting to see her. But then he remembered that she wanted to give him space and was going to wait until he was ready to forgive her. To tell the truth, he had forgiven her as soon as she apologized. But he chose to let her go and see how long she was going to give him space. She did a great job letting him be, and respecting his wishes. He asked himself how long he was going to continue to ignore her.

But in the end, he missed his friend.

He missed his Ennie.

He knew she was trying her best to be a better friend and not lash out like she did. To show more compassion in his struggles instead.

Later that evening, Jen went to peep into Jimin’s room to find him sleeping while Taehyung and Jungkook were still with him. The way she stuck her head in the room hesitantly was noticed by the two boys as they waved and smiled.

She sighed, worrying about Jimin’s well being as she walked in the room. In a hushed voice, not wanting to wake him, she asked, “How is he?”

“Doing good,” Taehyung responded while Jimin listened in, with his eyes still closed.

The sound of her voice made it hard to resist smiling but Jimin kept a neutral face. It was good to hear her ask about him although she still wanted to give him space.

“He ate quite a bit too,” Jungkook added.

“Great. As long as he’s ok. He scared the shit out of me, man...” she said, thinking about how he passed out.

“He gave us all quite a scare. I’m glad you were there to catch him, Jagi,”

“Yeah, you were so fast,” Tae pointed out.

“I dunno what came over me but something told me to keep an eye on him during practice. Well, I just wanted to know how he was doing. I’ll see you guys in the morning. Good night,” she turned to leave.

“You’re leaving already?” she heard Jimin say as he opened his eyes.

Turning back around, she answered in surprise, “Oh, I thought you were asleep. I just wanted to check on you and give you your space,”

“Can I have a moment alone with her?” he requested as he sat up.

“Sure. We’ll be gaming,” Jungkook answered and left the room with Taehyung.

Once they were left alone, Jimin spoke softly. “Thank you,”

“For what?” she looked at him in confusion.

“For catching me when I passed out. Thank you,”

“Always,” she nodded a few times.

“You can come closer, Ennie. I don’t bite,” he chuckled softly and gestured for her to come over to the bed.

The sound of her nickname made her stomach flip as a small smile came across her face. She did what she was told and sat on his bed.

“...how are you feeling?” she asked softly.

“I’m feeling better,” he responded truthfully. “I felt good after eating something,”

“I'm glad to hear you say that,”

Jen was surprised when he reached out to hold one of her hands.

“I’ve been thinking about our friendship since you apologized,”

“Me too,”

“What you did that day really hurt me,”

She nodded. “I know...and I’m truly sorry,”

“I know you are. I see that you are. Over the days, I’ve been missing you and our friendship. Things aren’t how they are anymore and it makes me feel weird. I want things to go back to how they used to be with us,”

“Me too. You’re important to me,”

“You’re important to me,” he squeezed her hand lightly. “And I want us to treasure each other, move forward, and understand each other’s boundaries. I want us to be there for each other and support each other. When things get tough, I want us to talk it out privately without yelling or screaming. I know all friendships aren’t perfect and we’ll argue once in a while but let’s try to work on not yelling at one another like we did,”

“Yeah. I’ll do better and be a better friend to you. Again, I’m so sorry, Jimin,” she said as tears began to fall from her eyes.

"I'm sorry, too," 

He leaned in to kiss her on the forehead and then pressed his forehead against hers, closing his eyes. He felt a huge weight lifted off his shoulders. Less stressed about everything as he expressed himself to her. His eyes had gotten glossy as he pulled away to look at her.

With a smile, he reached out to wipe her tears with his thumb and then pulled her in for a close hug. A hug that was long overdue as they both felt relieved to hug each other again.

“It’s okay...” he murmured and placed a hand on the back of her head. “I’ll be okay...and we’ll be okay...”

They stayed like that for a while, enjoying each other’s company. It felt good to be forgiven and to move forward. Jimin was right, things were going to be okay.

After pulling away, he asked, “Can you stay?”

“Yeah, of course, I can,”

He let her in under the covers with him and they cuddled, before slowly drifting to sleep.

[s3xdollboy]

So.

I really really really love my boyfriend.

He's amazing.

But I've got issues.

Emotions are scary and I feel like im going to throw up.

I get so nervous and and emotional abt how I feel towards him.

He's amazing and argh my eyes hurt from crying.

Like- I love him too much.

I'd do anything for him but I also freeze up and practically shut down unable to do anything when I speak with him.

My stomach feels all warm and fluttery when I talk to him.

He's so sweet.

And he's such a jerk in the way that makes me melt cus I've got issues and I love that.

I'm so obsessed with him.

Like overwhelmingly obsessed. Yk?

Somedays I just feel this overwhelming need to be with him, to hold him, to be filled with him in ways that just aren't physically possible.

Like- I'd genuinely cannibalise him to be closer to him, to have part of him in me in the most intimate way I can imagine.

I need him in such a ferally intimate way.

I'd kill for him and I'd keep myself alive for him and yet I'd gladly take his life to keep him for myself♡

Not in the "I'm so quirky and yandere uwu" kinda way.

Like I genuinely spiral and question myself and my sanity over this.

But if I got the permission to take a slice of him and actually eat it I gladly would without hesitation.

Like I'd worry about hurting him and want him safe and not in pain but... at the same time?

I really want to hear him whimper for me as I hurt him?

Like- in a loving way.

You know?

I'd never hurt him without his permission unless it was accidental ofc.

I'd absolutely despise myself if I ever genuinely hurt him.

I want to keep him forever.

I wouldn't keep him against his will.. atleast I don't think I would for now.

But honestly- if I was just slightly more unstable I probably wouldn't care if he wants to be with me or not as long as i have him.

He's my everything.

I know it's not healthy to base your entire life around one person.

I've made that mistake before... but I cant help it.

He's too perfect.

I love him so incredibly much and it scares me.

I'm both scared my feelings will get hurt and scared I'll end up hurting him.

But im so happy I have him in my life♡

Idk.

I'm emotional and running on zero sleep and a lot of caffeine so im rambling.

I rly love my bf lolz

[rikis-girl]

Atelophobia

Warnings: Anxiety attack, Panic attack, body image issues, a lot of triggering things, not for the faint of heart. Pairing: non-idol!Sunghoon x fem!reader Synopsis: The word "perfect" always hurt both of you so badly. What do you do when the pain resurfaces with the same word?

"Perfect"

The word rung through your ears once again. The condescending voice behind the word haunted you till this date. It seemed like just as life finally started looking up when that voice just had to interrupt your peace and send you down a spiral once again, like it always did.

"Perfect"

He slipped and fell cold on his ass. Who was that? Sunghoon swore he made sure she wouldn't find out his whereabouts but yet that taunting voice, was back. He got up instantly and skated to the corners of the rink to find absolutely no one with him. And for some reason, that disturbed him more.

"My daughter is PERFECT after all." Mr. Kwon or Kwon Youngsoon boasted in front of all the fancy guests at the gathering. "She isn't my daughter is she isn't perfect am I right?" he chuckled. You stood right next to him holding yourself with such grace and poise, anyone could mistake you for a royal statue. Emotionless yet regal. Like a Goddess.

You had spent 3 days without food. Or proper food. The salads were becoming too much, the tight yet elegant expensive dresses you wore felt heavy despite being as light as air. You stood next to your father through thick and thin but, he was always the same perfectionist. The word dad reminded you of diets, perfect grades, perfect body, perfect reputation and the word "PERFECT"

Your father truly wanted what's best for you. The death of your mother was hard on you both. The fact that you were just 5 when your mother was cruelly removed from your life was not helping.

"I can't have you walking around in THAT garbage. It'll ruin my reputation." Your father's voice echoed through the walls when you appealed to wear leather pants for your 18th birthday and for your final year of highschool. Your life was dictated from start to finish, and the only part of your life being undecided being your wedding. For perfect Mr.Kwon needs to strike a handsome deal for a beauty like you.

Your father created you to be the perfect trophy wife. The dream woman for any man and any business. He deemed you to be the epitome of perfection and made sure you held an image of a Goddess, so as to say. He also made sure you respected and worked for his reputation and stay kind yet out of league to everyone.

Your strict and cruel father had no time in his life to show you or understand feelings. He wasn't the father you once knew. Happy with the little he had and full of love when your mother was alive. However, with her passing and the failing of their small town bakery, his rich parents found him and supported him during those dark times, under one condition..

You were to be turned into one of the most valuable assets to Kwon industries.

You had woken up this morning to the most horrifying news you had ever gotten. YOU WERE TO BE MARRIED OFF TO A 40 YEAR OLD.

All these days you had suffered in this house for your father, you looked in the mirror, the scars from your recent rhinoplasty were finally healed and your hair was perfect even with a bad case of bed head and your eyebrows; perfectly done, your lashes; long and fluffy, your lips; natural unlike most of your face, and your eyes; hiding a secret double-eyelid surgery.

Your stomach growled loudly, and all you had for breakfast was a lemon and ginger water and an apple. You yearn for the times your mother would make you pancake towers for your birthday and your father would help you eat it.

A small slice of cake was brought in from the kitchen by one of the butlers and handed to you with a small "Happy birthday" card on it.

"Did he actually remember my birthday Mr. Kim?" You asked. "I'm sorry young mistress. But I'm afraid that it's only protocol that I send you a small slice of cake on your birthday. Whether or not your father remembers is not a matter I can pry into."

You looked at the slice of cake, unable to even digest the sight of such a sugary treat. "I'd rather not have it." You decline and walk to your study for your violin class.

You passed the green door, embellished with a golden knob that led to the dark room. A sound-proof room with no windows, and no lights, and just one tiny restroom. And couldn't help all the memories of the door flooding into your head, all the nights he walked out of it and locked you up in it and left you to starve for days on end.

"DADDY PLEASE I WON'T EAT CHOCOLATE AGAIN!! I WILL EAT MY VEGETABLES!!!! PLEASE LET ME OUT!!" You screamed when you were 10. The first time you got locked up.

"DAD NO I WILL GET 100 NEXT TIME PLEASE!!! I SHOULD'VE STUDIED HARDER!!" The night you got a 99 when you were 12.

"FATHER YEONJUN IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!! WHY DOES IT MATTER IF HIS FATHER IS A DOCTOR? HE STILL MAKES GOOD MONEY!!" That was the night your father pulled you out of school, a week before you graduated, all because you had foolishly revealed to your father about him. You heard Yeonjun's father was paid 10k to keep him away. And unfortunately, the trick worked.

When you were 16, your father had taken you to Paris for a photoshoot. You appeared at the fashion show as a model, did a shoot the next day, had an interview, had another photoshoot for a make-up brand, and the same evening you performed a solo on your violin in front of atleast a thousand guests. Fatigue caught up to you from your tight schedule and frequent flights and you messed up one small note which your improved and fixed. But your perfectionist father did not think it was as "Professional" as your fans claimed to be.

"FATHER IT WAS JUST ONE NOTE!" "ONE NOTE IN FRONT OF A THOUSAND PEOPLE. DID YOU NOT THINK OF YOUR REPUTATION? HOW CAN YOU BE MY DAUGHTER WITHOUT BEING PERFECT?" This time however, you were locked in for an entire week with just water, the restroom and the solace of the utter darkness of the soundproofed dark room. That trip was the last trip and the last time you saw your father even attempt a smile. Every day since then, your father only ever appeared to lock you in that damned room for days.

You did modeling, acting, singing, fashion designing, playing instruments like the violin, piano, harp and cello, calligraphy, you did ballet, you wrote articles, poetry, and were to major in business as well.

And you were sure that today, you are running away.

Park Sunghoon had had enough. His coach may seem short and sweet to many, but she was truly a monster, just like his mother.

"GIVE ME 20 MORE PUSH-UPS TWERP. LOOK AT YOU, PATHETIC AND WEAK. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE A PERFECT BODY TO WIN THE OLMPICS" Her high pitched voice screeched.

His mother basically starved him off any food to get his abs and gave him so many supplements, he swore he had more supplements than calories in his food.

He had to do a million jumps on ice everyday, one of the hardest parts of figure skating but a necessity to score points.

"If you don't make this ina bauer into axel transition NOW, you know what will happen." She menacingly taunted Sunghoon.

"I want it PERFECT." Chills went down Sunghoon's spine as he started skating and praying that he perfects it then and there.

A tiny slip up and Sunghoon went plummeting, unable to recover from the bend to a sudden jump.

There she stood, high and mighty with an iron rod in her hands.

"What did I say about it being PERFECT?"

Sunghoon got off the ice whimpering in pain as she was done with her bringing hell on him. He lifted up his pants to see a new burn mark near the lashing he got yesterday. He never understood why something that brings him so much joy had to be ruined by the 2 closest people to him.

"Be glad you don't wear skirts and that they won't have to see how PATHETIC you truly are." She spits. Mrs. Yang, a relentless coach who many speculate, killed her young son because he couldn't skate and later took Sunghoon under her wing to coach.

Sunghoon spent the rest of the afternoon working on the transition between the moves and kept getting a new bloody mark every time he failed. It got to the point that he swore he could se his bone popping out. But today, he was sure to put an end to his misery.

A rich, pretty girl running from a mansion with a suitcase and a purse in a Dior gown isn't a sight you see everyday. Sunghoon had just finishing his torturous practice and was taking a walk home when he saw the prettiest girl he had ever laid eyes on running with 6 inch heels.

"Hey! wait! That will hurt your feet!" Sunghoon warned you, and you stop to look at him. "Well, I don't care." You huffed and turned, running off to god knows where.

"Where are you going?" He asked. "I don't know.... Somewhere my father won't find me hopefully." You reply as a billboard above you lights up with an advertisement for a perfume with you on it.

"Wait. You're Kwon Boram ?" Sunghoon looked at you in disbelief. "I don't want to be Kwon Boram though." You collapse on a nearby park bench. "I'm just tired of this stupid life and all of these stupid things I do for a bunch of heartless freaks." You continue abusing your knuckles by punching the tree next to you.

All the times your father had used to put you on diets, the lectures, the amount of "tutors" he sent to hit you into obedience, the plastic surgeries to perfect the tiniest flaws he saw and the various skills he made you learn all to be PERFECT.

While you had a revisit of how the word perfect ruined your life, Sunghoon couldn't believe that the goddess of Park industries was not as PERFECT as she was portrayed. He felt that for once, someone might just understand his pain.

"So.... You're running away without a plan?" Sunghoon asked, scanning your eyes for any semblance of a plan. "Well, yes. I do have a card for now." You mention your debit card. Sunghoon snickered at your futile attempt to sell it as a solid plan. He wasn't expecting to have someone to tag along with this plan but, 'the more the merrier' he told himself.

"Come with me. I'm running away too." Sunghoon said and held out his hand. "Excuse you, but I don't know your age, name, if you have good intentions or work for my father."

"My bad. I'm Park Sunghoon, a figure skater who has won plenty gold medals and one olympic gold, and am 21 years old. And, I'm trying to escape my perfectionist mother and devil coach. We met 2 years ago at the Olympics, I assumed you remembered me but I guess your memory isn't that good." He teased, leading you to his house. 2 years ago, your father had taken you to watch the sports so that business would find an appeal to a woman who enjoys sports. You remember watching the way Sunghoon anxiously kept covering his feet in a desperate attempt to hide his scars. Your father with his money managed to get you backstage where you and Sunghoon exchanged formalities and both your parents judged the other.

"I do not wish to see you mingling with his kind. What a sorry excuse of a man." Your father had commented while Sunghoon's mother referred to you as a "pompous peacock", nothing but decoration.

"I'm sorry but not everyone can remember a 2 minute conversation, Mr.Park" You teased back, accepting his proposal to run away.

"Wait here just a minute. Unlike you, I thought of an actual plan which does not involve being getting caught immediately." Sunghoon said, leaving you in an alley. The night started to get colder and you were getting scared. Soon, Sunghoon arrived with his own suitcase and gym bag. "This way." He led you to a car hidden under a dusty sheet. "Get in." He whispered before getting in himself.

And that's how you and Sunghoon ran away to England. The expensive jewelry you sold helped you two settle with a quaint apartment and change your names.

Your expertise in english helped both of you to keep up and now with you going by Y/N and Sunghoon going by Shaun you two managed to barely get by for a couple of months.

After 2 months of living together, you and Sunghoon opened up about your upbringing and found solace in each other and being imperfect. You made an unsaid pact to not use the word perfect for good.

Later, 6 months in, you and Sunghoon broke off your situationship and became an official couple, adored by your friends and co-workers.

Sunghoon now had his own ice rink with his new friends Jake and Heeseung and your restaurant chains grew with Jay as one of your investors turned best friends. Eventually Jake, Jay and Sunghoon formed the 02z and you and Heeseung never found peace again.

Your now beloved boyfriend recently started to miss competing and the Olympics, something Sunghoon could only wish to compete in again but laid low to keep himself away from his mother.

"Are you by any chance Park Sunghoon? Coached by Mrs. Yang?" A boy with insane cat-like features and an eerie resemblance to the devil herself asked.

Yang Jungwon, the son of the demon that coached Sunghoon, the boy who ran away at the ripe age of 15, hence bringing all her anger on him. Sunghoon felt bad for Jungwon. Being coached by Mrs. Yang is one thing, but living with her? He must have felt hell every second of his life.

"Everyone thought you were dead..... She even removed your face from every picture in her house." Sunghoon remarked as he remembered the cold walls she used to invite his mother over for tea and lashed out every time her son was mentioned and call him a weak beast. Jungwon looked at Sunghoon's scars on his legs and lifted his pants a little to show similar denser scars, although now gently fading. "I practically already was dead." He said.

"So, did you never have a thing for figure skating?" Sunghoon pried. "Yeah I never wanted to do it. My mom took one good look at me and thought that me being handsome meant that she needed to make me a figure skater. Fulfill the dream she never could due to her bad looks." Jungwon replied, holding on to the straps of his bag as he and Sunghoon walked to your office.

"So that's why she was so obsessed with pretty boys?" Sunghoon asked. "So you think you're pretty." Jungwon teased. "Oh please, look at who's talking." Sunghoon snarked back. Eventually finding out they were neighbors and that Jungwon came with a package of a 6'7 thing and a walking ball of sunshine.

To say that you were surprised to find your shy bean of a boyfriend acquire 3 friends in a day was surprising and eventually all the boys got familiar with each other and you were basically stuck with Ni-ki third-wheeling all of them.

"Kwon Boram, Today you will be engaged to your now fiance Park Jinyoung, CEO of JYP enterprises." Your father's voice belowed. "But father please, the man is 40, I'm just 20 it's pedophilic." You pleaded. "He has promised a secure contract and 3 million dollars for your dowry. I would be a fool to refuse such a lucrative deal." Your father smirked and shook hands with Jinyoung, the man you were promised to a week before your 18th birthday, the reason you ran away.

You woke up with a cold sweat from your nightmare and searched for Sunghoon in your shared bedroom. You saw a note on the dresser saying he left for work and will be home soon with a cute heart. You brushed off the dream and got ready for work as usual and took your stress squishy as a precaution.

"PARK SUNGHOON! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT EATING TOO MUCH SUGAR?" Sunghoon stiffened, hearing the voice of his mother. "WHAT DID I TELL YOU WILL HAPPEN FOR NOT FOLLOWING THE INSTRUCTIONS OF MRS. YANG?" His mother's voice screeched. Sunghoon stood there paralyzed, mouth stuffed with delicious Parisian chocolate he got as a gift from a fan. His mother walked over to him and held out a plate nudging harshly against his stomach. Sunghoon took the hint; not willing to upset her further and spit out the chocolates. Soon he was dragged to the bathroom by his mother and was chucked to the ground. "Clean your guts now Sunghoon." She said, calmly. Sunghoon stuck two fingers in his mouth and got vomited all his insides until he was dry, knowing that holding back will only result in stricter practice sessions. Locked in his room once again, left to starve the night Sunghoon curled up into a ball, crying himself to sleep.

Sunghoon jolted awake when he felt Jake shake him awake on the bus. "Mate it's our stop." They both get off and Sunghoon in a daze, walked to the ice rink.

"What was that?" Jake's thick Australian accent grounded him from the nightmare he just had "Just a bad dream. Don't worry about it." Sunghoon kept walking, holding onto the straps of his bag tightly.

Today was the 21st of August and you were wondering why this nightmare decided to haunt you today all of a sudden. Your gut was twisting in the most sickening way possible but you ignored it and continued to work, meeting up with Jay to talk about business.

You had to visit one of your restaurants today as a formality to see how it was running. "Serenity" the name of your fairy themed restaurant with Italian food was growing in popularity and you prided in it. Your passion for cooking stemming from enjoying all the food you couldn't eat at the Kwon manor and trying to make Sunghoon eat after facing terrible trauma with food and his mother now bloomed into a beautiful business and a well-fed boyfriend.

A man sitting alone with the menu card in his face creeped you out but you decided not to think much of it and dressed up as a waitress to sneak around and see how things were going.

You walked up to the man who now had a plate of pasta in front of him and wore a bucket hat to conceal his face. "How is your dining experience sir?" You enquire with a cheery voice. "Just, PERFECT" the familiar condescending cold voice spoke. You felt the air getting knocked out of your lungs and cold sweat run down your back as you faced the man as he removed his hat. The same cold eyes met yours and two men started approaching you from behind him. Your ears started ringing and in a flash you were sprinting to your car, turning it on and driving to Sunghoon immediately.

Sunghoon and Jungwon found a way to enroll Sunghoon into the Olympics again and had started to formulate the perfect routine for him to use. A woman, masked yet poised and elegant was on one of the seats, and Sunghoon was wondering what she was doing and who she was. "Excuse me miss, are you ok? what are you doing here?" Sunghoon asked. "I'm feeling PERFECT, boy." Her calm voice spoke. Sunghoon swore he felt his soul leave his body for a moment there as he checked her face. IT WAS HER. Sunghoon ran as fast as he could to get away from the rink; leaving poor Jungwon confused.

You got out of your car and ran to the rink only to meet Sunghoon halfway.

"HE IS HERE!" "SHE IS HERE!"

You both stood there; stunned at the words that left the other's mouth. "Let's just go home." You said, dragging Sunghoon to the bus, leaving your car behind. "But the car?" Sunghoon asked. "I'm sure my father's men saw the board on it. I left it in the car park at the mall there." You pointed to the mall next to the rink.

You both reached home after taking the bus and collapsed on the couch. Feeling unsettled you two held each other, scared for the future when the dreadful past came back.

An entire week had gone by since the incident and neither you nor Sunghoon had come across your parents again. But for some reason, it seemed that they were more prevalent now than they ever were in your lives.

Sunghoon stepped into the rink, getting ready to practice once again. Monday, what a sweet, sweet day. He slid onto the ice and started with the routine he and Jungwon came up with and music supported by Heuning Kai, an extension of the 02z who lived in Korea.

Sunghoon glided across the ice and made every turn and swoop as graceful as he could. He wanted to show you his routine for your birthday before performing it in the Olympics.

"Perfect"

A spine chilling whisper sweeps him off his feet as he lands cold and hard on the ice. Today she seemed to be closer than ever and Sunghoon skated to the edges of the rink to look for her to find no one. And this only seemed to make things worse as he stumbled out of the rink, staggered to the bleachers and removed his skates, packed and ran.

He ran fast and hard and didn't notice when and how but he ended on the floor of your shared bedroom, slowly curling up into a ball and shivering and sobbing.

The mirror in front of him taunted his weight, showed him that he was nothing but a fat pig who can't stop eating no matter how much control he is supposed to have, a failure of an athlete. The voices in his head become louder, the room starts to close in on him and his head seemed to weigh a ton and all he could do was be pathetic and cry like a baby.

"How will you win a gold with this attitude?" "Mama's boy much?" "How could a loser like you win?" "Can't even finish a routine without breaking down like a baby in diapers"

"Fat pig that can't stop eating sweets even for a day" "look at how ugly you are, is that a figure sit for a figure skater?"

"Representing the republic of South Korea, Park Sunghoon; the wimp"

"Perfect"

That chilling deep voice bellowed through your new office. You saw a faint image of the man you never wished to see again sitting on your new comfy chair.

Panicking, you ran to your car, trying to escape your father immediately when you noticed your office door having the same dark green shade. You swore Jay painted it pink but now all you could do was run.

Fumbling with your keys, you try your best to get inside your house, every door you pass looking the same as the last, all the same disgusting shade of green, the same golden doorknob and carvings, you wanted nothing more than to run to your safe spot, Sunghoon.

"Why did you eat so much for breakfast? No one would want a fat girl for a wife." "You think you can live without me? I'm EVERYWHERE"

His words kept repeating as you tried to calm yourself, stripping off your shoes and socks and fumbling onto the couch.

"How dare you run away and bring such SHAME to our family?" "How dare you run away from your responsibilitlies as a member of the KWON FAMILY?"

The room felt like it was spinning, you felt the air getting sucked out of your lungs. Nightmares of the dark room kept flooding your mind, you had no way out and clearly, no way to heal.

"YOU ARE MY DAUGHTER!!! YOU ARE TO MARRY THE WEALTHIEST OFFER I CAN GET AND YOU WILL DO IT NOW!!" "But, Boram, please, maybe your father will approve of us. I'm not even poor." "GET AWAY FROM THE LIKES OF HIM!!!"

"I told you that man will be your downfall."

You stumbled to the bedroom, hoping to collapse in your bed to help ease your panic-stricken self when you spotted Sunghoon curled up, sobbing, just like you. You rushed over to him, your panic attack disappearing into thin air and holding Sunghoon close.

"I'm here love, just me..... She's not here anymore." You reassure him.

You hear Sunghoon slowly stop sobbing and his breathing becoming more stable. Slowly, he pried himself off of you and noticed your cheeks with dry tears.

"Why were you crying love?" He asked. "I had a panic attack too."

"Your dad?" You nodded as a response. "I'm sorry that you had to see me like this." Sunghoon apologized, looking downcast. "No, don't you DARE apologize. I'm happy to be there for you when things get tough."

"But I wasn't!" Sunghoon looked ashamed, and upset. "I wasn't there for you because I was too weak crying about my own past and-"

"What makes you think that? I couldn't calm down until I saw you, you helped me by just existing. So please, Stop beating yourself up for things you can't control." You brushed a strand of his long hair back, placing a small kiss on his temple.

"I suppose you are.... Perfect... For me." You reassured. "And you, perfect for me." Sunghoon sealed your love with a breathtaking kiss, a promise of love and healing.

You both knew life would not be easy on you, no matter how hard you try to heal, scars don't always fade, and not all bruises heal. But you were sure to be each other's remedy. Why?

You were Perfect for each other.

A/N: I didn't expect this story to take so long for me to finish but.... here it is!! I hope you enjoy it and I hope my other projects won't take this long.

[beyondthetemples-ooc]

I've kinda fallen out of touch with my mentor the past couple of months. It's not anything intentional, I just... kind of don't feel like I'm doing anything that's worth her time?

But she sent me a message to check up on me, asked me for updates about what's going on in my world, and I'm... well, how do you tell someone what's going on when your world can't be summarized in a two-minute voicemail?

(Just me babbling about AFK Life Stuff, trying to work out what the hell to talk about because I genuinely don't know what to tell her.)

I want to tell her "absolutely nothing of consequence". I want to tell her my mother's moving back to Ohio (!!!!!), and I took Mom out to dinner for her birthday and got to see my brothers, and I'm going to a friend's wedding in October, and I went to a demonstration / mindblowing concert last weekend.

I should probably tell her I feel stuck in stasis right now, my back has been hurting too much to stand without cradling both hips to hold them still when I walk (it was getting better until I cleaned the chinchilla cages tonight), and my budget is fucked. (I mean, it's not NEGATIVE cash flow, but it's breaking dead even every single month and I'm making no progress on savings.)

I could talk about my health issues flaring up. My back injury deciding it likes hurting lately, my stomach deciding it hates food and my ADHD meds, and running out of pain meds when my doctor's out of office for a month, which has been seriously hampering my sleep. It hurts too much to get comfortable. But there's nothing to be done about that, and I'm not one of those people who Likes Venting. What's the point? All I can do is wait for it to pass.

Mystical and Nexus weirdness is ramping up too, between it being September and the whole DCAMU movie marathon, but I don't even think I've told her I'm neopagan. I don't know how to connect with her on witchcraft. How do I tell her the whole world whispers to me and it gives me happy shivers sometimes, and I've felt more in-tune with my own energies than I have since 2022, and I had to clean my chinchilla's butt today and spent twenty minutes whispering to him to calm down and it WORKED? (He's probably going to need a vet appointment if I can't figure out how to stop him from eating Sisu's food. Wet tail for the past week, hence the cleaning... that's another thing I can tell her. That's another reason my budget is fucked, chinchilla vets are not cheap.)

Does she even know empaths are a thing? (She's xtian and won't proselytize me, but I don't know how I can explain what it's like to live with a whole other layer of awareness in the world, of others' emotions, of the natural world's ebbs and flows, a goddess who I can reach out to when I really need to and a spirit guide I have a very Complicated relationship with, but I promise it's not like your god's claims of omnipotence, but I promise that for me it's Better? How the hell do I explain a synpath?)

There's nothing major. There's so much. It all feels inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, but it's coloring my world. There's nothing I can ask of her, but she cares enough to ask after me. I have nothing to offer her, other than thanks for checking in. What's even worth talking about?

I suppose I could always ask what she wants updates on. Financial life, medical, loved ones, spiritual life? But what if she tells me what she said the last time I asked a question like that? Asks me to talk about whatever's important to me? Whatever I want to tell her?

How do I know I'm not wasting her time? (Logically, I know she won't consider it a waste of her time. There's a reason she's my mentor. A lot of reasons, actually! But emotionally, it feels like I'd be bothering her for no reason. Is it stubbornness, independence too fierce? "I don't need counsel; I need to wait for it to pass.")

[the-firebird69]

#bear #woods #scary #nature #run #dontfeedtheanimals #explore #explorep...

And they're like these ham things that are fried and they they taste good and there's a bunch of calories it's skin and he likes eating skin and the guy is too close and he whacked it out of his hand and went over to it and he started eating it and the guy started yelling a little it looks happy he says you're next and the guy stopped and said oh I'm sorry about that and you left and the bear just ate the stuff but really you guys do you know what you're doing and you're just pissing everybody off and people don't like you animals don't like you and you don't care and the max have a long range plan and you don't care about that and they're defeating you and you don't care about that I say it everyday we're tired of your attitude your attitude doesn't change he says it's changed a little and you're going after stuff that he wants you to and that's all he's going to get out of you and me too so I feel a little better you're going to get your ass kicked and you should and you have to go after ship soon because you're fleet is getting wiped out.

The last fleet is not heating up yet the second to last is not and trying to get stuff to it and they're trying to find a way out they have stone ships left it's about 55%, they're about to heat up up to 20% they said tonight and it will take a while and then they will have 35% left and they're probably panic can heat up pretty quick and it will be out sometime tomorrow and tonight there's massive attacks they're pretty big on the pseudo empire so far they're only a couple percentage points out and after a time it's going to be bad I would not yet we don't think that they're going to get very far and that 2% is mostly surface basis and then later on tonight they're going to try to redoubling their effort and probably add 20% and Chris says it's 50% and that would be double and Tommy Allen said right and Stan is talking and our son says you asked for it buddy and Stan says no 100% is doubling and the sun says no 50% is half so shut up it's 100%, then you're at 200% so bja says thank you Stan and that's how it's going. So it's going to be a fight and they're going to increase it somehow and they're trying to get at them to take all their stuff and it's going to be nightmare there's a lot of it so that's going on and also Trump and nuclear bunkers there at only five medium but they're at one large the small and the teeny are pretty much going to be empty tonight those bunches represent 5% and it's not as much but they've been actually going after less a night then we announce there about 33% roughly 25% truth be told it's like 10% because it's just his needy ones but the large they're going after is about 3% and that's pretty big and they're going to beat the s*** out of each other and the big guys will come in after they're pretty much done and they're going to have to fight him with her stuff but who cares there's going to be a lot of fighting tonight because they're going at the large and shows what's in there they're going to defeat the security and start to break in and they'll see it and bja will probably go after a bunch of the large ones

More shortly

Thor Freya

I'm okay I'm doing well this is good and I am helping I know and appreciate it it's a tough job and I see what you're saying get a little stomach issue that it hurts went okay today and they got their daily dose from the Mac proper who decided to set them down no they're using them for code it's not really helping them not a lot of guys who are stuck here and getting sick and weak they have a ton of stuff to do and they're going around aggravating people like these guys do it's a huge pain it's very annoying and they're continuous about it we are asking for a relief a lot the train to threatened for things and it's not going their way there's a several developments that happened today that I can bring up and they're pretty good size they have to do with what's going on they're very important and they're important to me they have a lot of things that they are bothering us about and it seems trivial but it's really disturbing and he says I'm sure they're aware of it but we are rich people because we have each other for real and they really have nobody and I guess they're jealous so I say I certainly think that you don't know what you're talking about and yeah okay we had a rough time that's not what I'm saying at all yeah I'm giving you trouble it's good to know if we I do understand so we are sitting here listening to them harass us and I figured a few things out they don't intend on doing anything unless they're forced to same with the other guys is not true they want to create an illusion so somewhere along the line the Mac people got on the horn today and said cut that all that s*** out we are up against a bunch of people who have extorted life for themselves for a long time and I hear my husband thinking it a little bit that they just sit there and mooch off the masses and I've done it for a long time very badly and Olympus has been saying it a little so they came out and said it then they said we are going to blow the horn several times if they don't get out of the way we're going to make them and they want to take over and it's part of what they want to do and they're getting ready to try it and they have a lot of hardware they're trying to move right now and people are detecting it all over the world and they are advancing everybody is doing it but the morlock so you have to wonder who's here doing it in the United States they have a cavern they're in in the middle but that's not full of weapons and they don't have a big weapons cash here they do have several in Mexico and the Yucatan there's going to be a big fight with foreigners and the warlock against the empire it's going to start sometime from now until the 31st and that's part of what's going on with Cuba and Tommy F in the ships and Tommy f is trying to get ready for the worst to try and make it while foreigners gear up and possibly us he says and try and survive while that's going on and a lot of people saw him worried about it and he's been fighting these Macs for real and they started to try and figure out what to do too and people like my husband know that nearest matrix that works and the matrix here does not it is causing them to destroy themselves and they wasted a very large army part of theirs so far and another part of it is going to disappear and they will shrink to a quarter of what they were 2 years ago which is very fast these are extremely fast changes but the empire is influencing them to happen they're becoming aware of it slowly but there is movement in Mexico and it is at the Mac proper bumper bunkers at Brazil and South America they only have a few here they are in the Continental cavern there's not a ton of troops there and they backed off because they can attack and they would be defeated pretty quickly they think which is not true they're just idiots so that is going to happen and it is very big so we should print and he says it

Hera

Olympus

[importantchildgardener]

Chapter 3 - Of teenage years

Eventually as time went on, I grew up to be a teenager, and all of this time I was stealing money from my grandparents and my mother. What started as coins and small bills turned into medium bills as I grew older. I'm surprised I spent years doing this without anyone doing anything about it.

By the time I was around 11 to 13, it was the time when the hunger started happening. All my stealing had lead us to have some monetary issues. A lot of nights I would just go to sleep hungry, or drink watery sugar to combat the hunger, I remember I learnt to shallow air so my stomach would stop hurting for a while some nights.

My grandfather didn't really worry much about the state of food, I don't know if he would just buy expired food or what, but I was frequently sick, I would eat something and at some point in the night my liver would go insane and I would end up in the sofa, in pain. The hunger and this sort of situation just made me steal more, maybe I didn't see my mother much and there was not a lot of food for me to eat at home, but stealing some money I could buy food to eat. I remember once or twice I felt it was justified for me to steal, because 'they didn't love me anyways', that's what I felt back then.

Even though my grandmother and my mother didn't really give me that much love, my grandfather really loved me. He would give me all the love and attention the rest of my family didn't give me, in a way my grandfather and my dog chiquita were like my parents. I also had 16 cats at this point, and my grandmother was entering depression so she didn't clean the house much, things started getting dirty, really dirty.

You know, my mother never taught me to clean my genitals, nor did she ever taught me to make an habit of cleaning my teeth, somehow I ended up learing all of that by myself as the years went by.

At some point my grandparents house started smelling bad, really bad, I remember this because I Used to play videogames on a NES knockoff console when I was very young, with a friend, but at this point in my life my friends didnt want to come in cause the house 'smelled weird' My mother was dating my stepfather around this time, he gifted me a tiny radio I have to this day for christmas. I Don't know exactly when but at some point now when he was visiting he found a dead cat under the sofa, I guess that's just part of all the bad stuff that was happening at that house.

At first I really liked my stepfather, he bringed pizza to the house, I never had eaten something so tasty, it was my first time eating pizza and all and I grew up to love whenever he visited.

Eventually me and my mother started visiting his house, it was mostly on weekends. He was from another country but we lived in the frontier, so we could just visit his country and his house with a very short travel in car. It was nice I guess, I used to watch a lot of cartoons and also eat, I Really liked eating. I didn't eat meat though, All the meat I had eaten to that point was either hotdog meat or chicken thigh, I never ate any other kind of meat. He sort of forced me to eat meat, like sausage and other kinds of meat, I remember at first I didn't like it but eventually I started to not mind. My jaw used to hurt from eating it though, I wasn't used to eat things that were that tought.

I remember at some point we started spending a lot of time on his house, eventually we sort of moved with him. There wasn't any pizza any more and I had to walk 3 or 4 kilometers to school every day, but it was alright, we had food and that was nice, we had a PC at home too, with win98 and all, before that I had only ever used a PC with win95, and maybe winXP back at the cybercafe.

It was at this time that I started torturing cockroaches, I used to torture cockroaches in a lot of ways using toothpicks, I used to 'rape' them with the toothpicks and behead them and tear their limbs off, I don't know why I did all that. I was allowed to visit my grandparents too, and I did visit them a lot, I would walk a few kilometers to their house to see them and hang out with my friends… and steal money because at that point it was a habit. I'm really sorry for all I did.

Every year I stole more and more but especially on summer, on summer I would steal large quantities of money, almost all of their money because at summer my friends from the capital would come, I had two friends from the capital, those were some of the most fun times of my life, when they visited and we got to spend the summer together playing and filming sketches and going to the cyber and talking about anime…

Especially because at some point, I started going to my grandparents house only on weekends, because it was a bit of a problem, I would always come back late at night, around 9 or 10 in the night and I was just like 13 to 15 at the time. So I started being allowed only at weekends and I started to lose my normal friendships. Eventually I was alone, a quiet kid in school who got bullied and didnt do much to fight back, with no friends in school and no friends back at home, I would spend a lot of time watching television, playing by myself in the patio, on the computer and that sort of thing. I had actually one friend I visited back when I went once per week, I never saw him again once I finished school and started high school, that's when I truly started spending most of the year alone.

I think I was around 13 or 14 at the time when I started high school, my stepdad wanted me to move to his country and learn the language, so I did, the antisocial me that spent most of his time alone, with a ton of unaddressed problems and all my issues. I was extremely quiet at highschool. I didn't know the language that well yet, I didn't know anyone, it was a new culture, people were scary, I was scared. I was totally a big target for all sorts of bullying, for all sorts of things.

These were the most depressing times of my life. I was being bullied, I was still getting no love from my mother nor my stepdad really, I had literally not a single friend left because I had left them all, I barely visited my grandparents anymore and worst of all, I was a teenager now, fully hormonated 13 or 14 years old.

Somehow I made some 'friends' with the otakus cause I enjoyed watching anime. There was this sweet girl, oh so sweet, I thank her so much for all she did for me, G. She was my lifeline, she was my true friend, didn't care that I was ugly or unwashed or whatever didn't even care I was fruity or depressed. She was my friend back then, we would hang out at school and she didn't judge me nor anything of sorts, and I can barely express my thanks for that. Even my otaku 'friends' made fun of me and deemed me as some sort of second class 'friend', but her, that lovely girl she was honest on her feelings. She was my first and only friend back then, she made me happy for a year and a half or so, until one of my otaku 'friends' suspected she had feelings for me or something like that. And so they made a trap in which they convinced her to date him, and manipulated me into confessing to her through text, and basically fucked up our friendship. What a horrible bunch they were.

I think it was around this time that we moved to a new house, it was also around this time when I started hurting myself and also stealing from my stepfather, the memories of these years are a bit fuzzy because the only momments when I felt alive were at summer, so it feels like it was all a single year. Everything else is memories from high school or spending an unholy amount of time on the computer every day. I had no life for a few years.

First time I stole from my stepdad, first summer, he quickly found out. I bought a lot of pyrotechnia with his money, he got very mad, didn't hit me, but the abuse started here. He would drink, he would drink a lot, man I start to feel like i'm the bad apple that just putrifies everything around it. He developed a real drinking problem, he had sort of a drinking problem but he developed a more real one after that, even going as far as drunk driving.

But the drunk driving wasn't the worst part, the worst part was how he had this habit of sitting me on the table whilst my mom read on the computer and just verbally and emotionally abuse me, and this went-on for years. He would not insult me, it's kind of laughable to think of it just as insults, maybe he did throw an insult or two but those were not the things that hurt me. THe things that hurt me were everything else he would say. I Can't even recall what those things were, I Can only recall a single memory, of him saying I was looking at him with a face of rage, whilst I was crying, and I Remember how he bought a revolver and how he told me and he told my mother he would just shoot me if I were to try and take on him. I never, a single time felt like hitting him, nor felt enraged. Every night, every time, I would just cry and feel devastated over everything he said. I would just cry and feel guilty. I cried a lot, some nights I cried myself to sleep, some nights I gazed outside at the stars and the moon in the darkness, and I would wish I was dead, sometimes I would look down and wonder, if i jump just right, maybe if I Landed on my head I could kill myself.

My room was on a second floor, so I wasn't sure I would die, even if i landed in my head. I just wanted to be loved at this point, so I did my best to be a good boy, I tried doing things right like obeying orders and not disrespecting my parents and tried to get good grades, I got to be the best on the class at some point. I didn't get a nugget of love for any of this, nor a nugget of nothing really. I started to develop some serious problems, I would hurt myself badly, sexually, I would start to forget things and develop some serious depression and social anxiety, it was around this time I had my first panic attack.

I never went to the psichologist though, nor the hospital, not even when I almost cut a finger off by accident. Not even the dentist. I didn't drink, I didn't smoke, I had good grades but I commited the sin of stealing from my stepdad, so he kept on abusing me. I Remember one of the things he told me is how he could just send me to a reformatory, abandon me basically. Thanks, stepdad.

My desperation grew so bad at some point I started to wish I had been born a girl, that way at least someone would love me. I had multiple boyfriends online, for a while I was an E-slut. NEver sent a single photo, but I would erp all the time, what a bunch of weirdos honestly, I was a teenager back then, around 14 to 16.

Escapism became my main problem at around this age, I would spend all the time I Could playing WoW on a pirate server, and TF2 on steam, sometimes I would skip class to play C.S. 1.6 at the cybercafe with people from school, I developed some 'friendships' thanks to this at least, so I didn't fully depend on summer or online friends.

I caught my stepdad reading incest comics one time. I caught my stepdad complaining to my mother about how his dick was smaller than mine one time, he told her 'at least mine is thicker, right?' My stepdad would comment on how I slept naked in summer, and how my dick was hard when I slept, hard as a pole or something… My stepdad would fuck my mother loudly in their room, he knew I was downstairs. I would play music really loudly on my headphones and play some games and for the love of god try to ignore that. I kind of wnat to die when I Remember it all.

At 16 I decided to not cut my hair anymore, I also decided as soon as i was 18 I would leave, forever, no questions asked, nothing, just leave. These were the most painful times of my life, and I am 26 in about an hour.

I must thank my little pony friendship is magic and the amazing friends I met on a pony forum for carrying me through these years. The abuse just kept going, but my heart was guarded by cute ponies, getting lost on the magical world of equestria let me have a break from my life. But only for as long as I could watch it and think about it…Whenever my dad was being abusive, and those horrible nights after the abuse I could only stare at the stars, and plead to Princess Luna that I would not suffer anymore. And I would tell myself, just a few years, just a few years and i'd be free. Just a few years and i'd have control over my own life, just a few years and I'd be able to change my own life for the better.

As a footnote here, before my little pony, Lucky star really helped me out a lot, I think my desire to become a girl so I could be loved and have a nice life came out of association from watching Lucky star back then. I was totally putting myself in the place of konata, just being a happy girl or boy or whatever with friends and a nice family.

Curious facts: -I was both into anime and furries back then -Chiquita, my dear mom-dog moved with us at some point when i was a teenager, she lived with us till she grew older and she got cancer. My dad called a vet to put her down, he wanted me to hold her while the vet injected her with the deadly vaccine. I was crying so hard I Couldn't do it, I got mentally broken, I ran away crying and went into my room and cried for the rest of the day till my head hurt and I felt asleep. I think I woke up at night and started crying again until I passed out. -I went into a few lan parties at this age, all of them in summer obviously, my circle of summer friends grew a lot, most of my friends today are from that era since I got a lot of issues and i cant make friends easily/grow detached too easy -First time I went into 4chan was around when I was 12, barely knew english, this is when I started my first reaction pic folder -I always wanted to draw well and be a nice artist, I showed some drawings to my mother but she didn't care too much. -I Really liked neopets back then, it was in neopets that I met a very nice girl I Talk to this day with, she's K and she's my best girl friend -When I was around 17 my stepdad accused me of smoking weed and threatened to throw me out and wanted me to get a test, even though I didn't smoke weed, nor cigars, nor anything for that matter.

[lovehatecomics]

I love your HCs!

*YES big teeth, big build, big everything! Orion's BIG. Big Boy.

*I had to look up what a slav squat was on youtube and YES ABSOLUTELY ORION DOES THESE. Balance and being quick on his toes for someone his size is *chef's kiss* impeccable.

*ngl I never thought too much about what flavors/textures I hc Orion liking, just that he can eat A LOT. I've posted before that Scott would absolutely do food challenges for fun, so I can see him dragging Orion around to try a variety of food from Earth. I guess I'd hc Orion's willing to try anything, but has issues with certain textures or if a food is too much of a flavor (like if a dessert's too sweet & just sugar on top of sugar, etc.). Also he has an iron stomach like I hc most folks from Apokolips would.

Okokok would your Orion give s'mores a chance bc it has a variety of textures or would the melted marshmellow ruin it? Would he like the crunchy marshmellows found in cereal/hot cocoa packets instead?

*SAME. I have the same hc for my Orion too! Aside from the fact I'm not satisfied whenever I draw my redesign with hair, it never made sense for someone who throws himself into battle to have long hair that can be snagged/pulled/etc. Plus a buzzcut is just easier to draw atm. More power to y'all who draw Orion with hair, but for me it always look wonky 😭 (Also Black Fighting 101 is keep your hair short, pulled back, or done as close to the scalp as possible bc if your hair is long enough to get pulled it will more than likely get pulled in a fight. Long Braids, sew-ins, wigs, it doesn't matter. Same reason why you take off your jewelry (ESPECIALLY earrings) before a fight.)

Your hc for Orion yearning to grow his hair out is so sweet 🥺 (i know he grew it out in his JL appearances (right??? I haven't read any of Orion's time in the JL 😔), but that doesn't matter this hurts so good)

I wanna see y'alls Orion of New Genesis designs and/or redesigns. Basically how you see him in your mind's eye.

[lokisprettygirl]

The Night Screams at The Slumber Island (Loki x Female Reader) (Horror Romance) (Dark) (Au) (18+)

Read Chapter 4 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 5

Summary : You give into some of those growing feelings and do something you haven't done since that incident.

Warning: Cigarette smoking, loki smokes, don't ask me why, loki gets slapped. Minola being Minola, Mentions of recurring nightmare and trauma, mention of past abuse, trust issues, spooky stuff, sub loki vibes (he will emerge;) )

He saw you, he knew you were watching him and you felt embarrassed of that knowledge. So you did what you thought would be good, avoid him as much as you could.

Two days later you felt a little under the weather so Loki graciously offered to buy groceries and meat for you. You didn't want to trouble him but he used the friendship card on you, besides you didn't want to get out of the bed, your stomach hurt and you felt nauseated. You didn't know why though because you were eating as healthy as you could. Thankfully it was the weekend so you didn't have to attend school. 

You took a shower before he'd get there to drop the groceries off, you weren't trying to impress him, you just didn't want to stink.

As you heard the knocks, you peeked from the window before you opened the door, 

"Hi come inside please, I can't thank you enough" he smiled as you said that. He kept the bags on the kitchen counter and took everything out, the bags seemed different but you didn't want to probe him when he was trying to help you. It's not like he could poison the vegetables or meat. 

"You don't have to do that" you mumbled as he started to unpack the groceries so he could store them properly in the refrigerator and cupboards.

"It's no trouble love, you're sick, let me take care of you please, is that okay?" He mumbled softly and your heart skipped a beat. Why would he want to do that? What was he doing? You hated that no matter what he did there was a part of you that always questioned his kindness.

"Thank you..that means a lot" you smiled but he noticed your teary eyes, moments like this made him want to walk up to you and hug you until you would start to feel safe and loved ..maybe. This wasn't part of the plan, he was just supposed to do what she wanted him to do, she deserved that after all but he was just a man and he had feelings too. Feelings that he knew would get him in trouble. 

"Can I use the stove and make an herbal tea for you? I am assured you're still feeling nauseated aren't you?" He asked you and you nodded. 

"Sure..can I ..umm stay here?" You mumbled and he noticed your discomfort. It was a big deal for you to allow a man you have known for less than a week in your personal space like this.

"It's your house darling, you can give me company, this concoction would work like a charm.. if not you can throw it in my face" he chuckled and it eased you a little.

"I'd never do that" you mumbled and hopped onto the countertop. Your body felt weak.

He brushed his fingers through his hair, pulled them up and tied it in a bun but a strand or two escaped from the clutches of his fingers, adorning his face beautifully. He washed his hands before he took out a small bag of mixed fresh herbs from one of the bags, you didn't see any herb stalls in the market that day except parsley.

"Soo umm do you like being here, alone? I mean, don't you feel lonely?" You questioned him, you have been wanting to know more about him, his family, if he had friends or a girlfriend.

"Not really.. I mean I won't be here forever, I'm just exploring new things in life and coming here was something I just had to do" you nodded as he said that. You wondered if you'd be here forever? You had put your life savings to buy this creepy house in the middle of nowhere so you were essentially stuck here for a long time. 

You didn't even want to think about the possibility of being alone here like you had initially planned, you would have died of a heart attack the first night if it wasn't for your neighbor.

"So you have friends out there?" You asked him and he hummed. He stood next to the stove, situating himself against the edge of the counter. The green shirt he wore complimented his emerald green eyes so well. 

"If you ever feel like talking to me, or just want to vent perhaps.. I'm all ears darling" he mumbled and you nodded, you felt thankful that he didn't ask about your life, your friends or the lack thereof.

After he strained the tea he had made he walked towards you and passed you the cup, he placed one of his arms right next to you and he could feel you felt nervous immediately but he had to make you feel less scared around him. You had to trust him.

"Do you want me to finish mine first?" He asked you and you shook your head. You must be getting on his nerves with the constant doubts and scrutiny.

"No ..sorry.. It's just ..hot" 

You took a sip and it tasted herby but you weren't expecting anything different. 

"I go to the day market every other day, I can shop for you if you want, you won't have to get up early" 

"No no I can't ask you to do that" 

"It's not an issue, that's the least I can do for you, I know you don't really enjoy the whole process" you chuckled as he said that, you hated it to be honest because you weren't getting much sleep in the night so waking up early was nearly impossible. On the top of it, the staring and looks of judgement were too much to deal with. 

"Are you sure loki? I don't want to trouble you" 

"You could never trouble me" he winked at you and you buried your head down, focusing on sipping your tea so he won't see how his actions affected you. 

After he left you decided to clean around the house. He wasn't lying about the concoction, you did feel better, in fact you felt as if you were never sick to begin with.

"That's so weird" you mumbled as you dusted off the living room, when you saw the pictures of the house it looked different, less eerie and cleaner. Your eyes glanced over the portrait of Minola so you brought a stool and took it off the wall, you can't handle her staring anymore. It was too heavy but you managed to not fall down.

"I'm sorry Minola, I don't want to disrespect you, i absolutely don't but I hope you'd understand"  you wrapped it in a bedsheet and put the portrait in the basement. 

"Okay it seems better now" you mumbled to yourself, it seemed more homely now.

In the afternoon you took a stroll outside, you wanted to ask your neighbor to join you but you didn't want to seem overbearing.

You took the route he showed you, it was also closer to the beach so you went there and sat close to the shore. You haven't seen the Sun rising here even once, and it was getting gloomier everyday, you could see the clouds of fog from the distance and it had gotten a little cold as well in matter of few days.

"Hiii there" you got spooked by the voice and heard him chuckling. It was Steve. You didn't know why all the men on this island gave you creeps, but maybe it was just your past and how you have come to think about them.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" he sat down next to you and you nodded as you scooted away a little. He didn't seem to notice your discomfort like Loki did.

"It is ..in a scary type of way" you chuckled and he smiled.

"So what got you here?" he asked you and you sighed, it's not the conversation you wanted to have with him, you haven't even told your handsome neighbor anything until now. 

"Just wanted to get away from the city I guess" 

"I get that, but once you come here and become a part of this community and what they have to offer you'd never want to leave" he said in a monotonous tone as if he himself didn't believe a single word of what he had said. 

"Well I hope so too because people seem to not like me here" he was quiet for a moment before he hummed in response.

"I have to work..I'll see you around" he stood up to leave but there was something you wanted to ask him about.

"Steve?" 

"Yea?" 

"Why don't people come closer to my house? Is there something wrong with it?" You asked him and he shook his head then he started laughing before he got serious.

"Nooo don't be a lunatic y/n" he snapped at you suddenly and that scared you so you shut yourself down and waited for him to disappear out of your sight so you could bolt out of there. 

You made your way to the house and instead of going in you knocked on your neighbor's door instead, it has gotten dark so he had his lights on like usual, he had no shirt on, only a black trouser that hung too low on his waist, you didn't want to stare but he was carved with perfection.

"Are you okay darling?" He asked you as he found you unnerved and rubbing your arms with your own hands,

"I just..I was going to make coffee and check if you wanted it" you looked everywhere but him as you spoke so he grabbed your hand in his and you shivered but not in a good way. The touch, a man's touch flashed several images in your head that you had tried to get rid of for so long, his touch didn't feel unsafe but you just couldn't stop yourself from feeling scared. You pulled your hand away quickly and it landed right on his cheek, it wasn't a hard slap but it was wrong to do that to him and you knew that very well. 

Your eyes welled up with tears because of embarrassment and he was just looking at you, trying to understand and comfort you but you turned around and ran into your house. 

You closed your door and stood with your back against it as you processed what you had done, maybe he was just trying to comfort you but it was instinctual, wanting to fight for yourself because you couldn't do it when he hurt you. You just laid there and took everything. You were helpless.

"Y/n?" You jumped as you heard his voice on the other side.

"Just go away, I'm sorry ..I'm sorry" you mumbled as you sobbed quietly. 

"Noo..I'm sorry darling, I shouldn't have touched you like that, it's my fault, not yours and–" you opened the door so you could handle this a little maturely, you just slapped a man for no reason. 

"I just.. I don't..I am" you stuttered with your words because honestly you had no clue what to say to him, you didn't even know why he was still there, he shouldn't even be talking to you. He had put the wife beater on again and you noticed that. He stepped a little closer to you but not too close to make you feel uncomfortable, you looked up at him and his fingers itched to wipe the tears off your cheeks but he knew that wasn't the right thing to do. Not yet. 

"I crossed a line darling, I shouldn't have touched you that way without asking first, is it something that scares you? Makes you feel uncomfortable?" He asked you and you nodded immediately. 

"That won't happen again I promise" 

That should have brought you comfort but your heart sank instead, that's when you realised that you wanted him to hold your hand and touch you, it didn't make you feel disgusted, his touch wasn't sexual or purely lustful, it felt warm and you wanted him to hold you again because you have been touch starved for so long, but how were you supposed to ask for it now after what happened?

"Thank you and I'm sorry, I shouldn't have hit you like that" you sobbed again and he shook his head immediately.

"It felt like a breeze, don't worry about that now please" he mumbled as he smiled so you nodded "Something happened before? You seemed worried" he asked you and you couldn't focus on his words but his hands. You wanted to hold his hand again.

"Nothing I just got spooked" you mumbled and invited him in, you made coffee and he didn't deny it, you didn't notice any change in his behavior, he was still as kind as he has been before.

He was about to leave when you grabbed his hand in yours this time, he was taken aback but not in a bad way like you did before, he was just pleasantly surprised. 

"Your hands are..pretty" he mumbled and you looked down, your left hand was holding onto the long slender fingers of his right one.

"Thank youu..loki.. for everything..I don't know how it would have been here without you" you mumbled softly and his heart fluttered, he wanted to do so much more than just hold your hand in the moment but he knew that would make you hate him, he wanted you to take what you needed, he wanted you to come to him and he wanted to be the one to be commanded this time, that's what you needed to heal, someone who'd allow you to take him at your own pace, in the way that wouldn't hurt your mind over and over again. Something really horrible had happened to you. He knew that very well.

"I am glad to be here darling, you just need to tell me how you want me to be here for you" he whispered softly and you felt all the butterflies jumping in your tummy. What did he even mean? You didn't understand but you liked what you heard. You pulled your hand away to not come across as creepy and he gave you your space like he always did.

Nights were the least favorite time of the day for you here, because of the screams and sounds you kept hearing, things your mind made you see. So you turned the headphones on to distract yourself, your mind drifted towards him and how good it felt to be able to touch someone again. You finally fell asleep that night.

The music blasting in your ears definitely blocked the sounds of the loud violent thumps that was coming from the basement.

💀🤎💀🤎💀🤎💀🤎💀🤎💀🤎💀

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