#he's fulfilling his purpose by doing what his dad did
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smile-files · 3 months ago
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mommy let you use her ipad, you were barely two
and it did all the things we designed it to do
now look at you, look at you!
(objectober 2024 day 10: internet)
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#dandy's doodles#inanimate insanity#ii#ii steve cobs#ii mephone#ii spoilers#ii 16 spoilers#objectober#objectober 2024#okay i'll be honest. the final drawing barely fits the prompt#however! it was inspired by it#'internet' immediately made me think of 'welcome to the internet' by bo burnham#and my mind instantly jumped to 'and it did all the things we designed it to do'#and y'know... steve cobs designed mephone to be able to create things#and so in a way mephone is fulfilling his purpose by creating the contestants#he's fulfilling his purpose by doing what his dad did#and then that made me think of the garden of eden story#where god creates both adam and the tree of knowledge#he tells adam not to eat its fruit and yet adam inevitably does; thus adam gains free will#and one has to wonder if that was god's intention all along - for humans to have free will#whereby adam - through the apparent defiance of god - is able to become exactly what he was created for#and y'know... mephone making his show as a rebellion against cobs...#only for that very show to be a creation borne of his intended purpose#so yeah. my mind jumped from bo burnham to the biblical creation of man#anyway!! very very happy with how this turned out#my favorite part is the charger snakes. i'm so glad i came up with that idea#also cobs' arm! that turned out really well! i referenced my own hand for his!!#in any event... it turns out i really really like biblical imagery and symbolism huh#also yes i did stay up all night like a maniac drawing this. the idea came to me and i just had to see it through :D i'm glad i did
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minhosimthings · 6 months ago
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Epilogue || 18+
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Synopsis: Sex had never felt so good, as it did now, with your new husband.
Pairings: husband!Jay × wife!reader
Warnings: smut minors Dni, thigh riding, oral (f receiving), multiple orgasms, overstimulation, p in v sex, penetration, degradation, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), rough sex, dom!Jay, sub!reader, breeding kink, mention of pregnancy, cumming inside, JayYn forever I love these idiots
A/N: and we come to an end with the Lucifer series! Thank you for all the support on this series, I truly loved writing it and I hope you all like this tiny bonus 😙🎀
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The first time Jay ever saw you was in fourth grade. He remembered that story like the back of his hand. The first thing he recalled was the fact that you were so short you couldn't reach the coat hangers, so he had to help you hang your too big coat up. That was the first kindle that ignited the flames of your friendship.
The second kindle was when you were introduced to him as 'your new neighbour Y/N'. Your parents had recently moved to the town and bring the social butterfly she was, Jay's mother promptly marched him over to your new house with a jar of homemade cookies. Jay remembered how you and him had devoured all of the cookies without a thought, only to get stomach aches and scoldings from both your mothers.
Jay had introduced Heeseung to you at the start of fifth grade, having trusted you enough to welcome you into his own group of friends, of which Heeseung was his best. Jay's entire world for most of his cringey teenage and depressing young adult years were you and Heeseung. And he had been thankful for that.
Until he found himself falling in love with you.
Falling desperately, hopelessly, painfully in love with you. If anyone had asked him about what he loved about you, he would have had a seven verse poem written already. As if that was enough for him to express everything he held within his the deepest crevices of his heart for you. He loved you on purpose, truly and fully, as heartbreak loved a woman and as misfortune loved a daughter.
But as love always went, Jay was hesitant. He was scared. What if you didn't feel the same way? It would have ruined your friendship and the deep bond between you two if Jay ever told you what he truly felt, about the way his stomach would erupt in butterflies whenever you'd fix his hair and the way you made him weak in the knees everytime you laughed at one of his dad jokes.
Then came Seattle.
Jay's father has received a promotion and they were to move to The States. A new chance at at life, as his mother had enthusiastically put it. But there was no enthusiasm or happiness in it for Jay. Sure, he would be moving somewhere new, somewhere where dreams were supposed to be fulfilled, but what about his life until then? What about Heeseung and you? What about the life he wanted to have with you for the rest of eternity?
So came the waterworks. The final look of anguish on your face at the airport remained etched into Jay's memory forever, even from the distance he could clearly see the tear stains on your face, and Heeseung's arms pulling you into a hug with a final nod to Jay. It tore his heart apart, but he promised himself that he'll dig his way back to you if it was the last thing he'd do.
That is, until he moved back to Seoul, and found himself face to face with you and Heeseung. With matching rings on your fingers and a lovesick smile on your face. Or atleast that was how he imagined it. He didn't even take the time to glance at your longing expression, heavily disguised under the cheerful grin on your face.
You did love Heeseung, yes, but what good was that love when the man you've wanted since eight grade was right in front of you? Sitting in the same elegant position, holding his glass of gin in the same peculiar way that had always made you laugh, what good was any love when it was not the love you wanted?
Or perhaps the love you lusted after, the dangerous kind of love. The adventurous kind of love. The love that made your eyes linger over him whenever you'd pay Heeseung a visit at the police station, only to find Jay looking at you with pity as he glanced towards the empty desk labelled with your ex husband's name next to him.
The love that made you want to absolutely devour him as he sat leaning back in his armchair, legs spread dangerously wife apart, that caused warmth to spread between your thighs and saliva to accumulate in your mouth.
Jay looked at you with eyes full of lust, like he was a tiger on a hunt and you were his lamb, dolled up in a white dress with a glittering diamond ring on your finger. You had practically fought him not to buy you something so expensive, but Jake and Sunghoon had shrugged their shoulders with an 'i told you so' look when you walked in with a look of defeat.
"Come 'ere." Jay mumbled, tapping his index finger on his thigh, his own ring shone spectacularly against the golden shade of his skin. You promptly walked over, dragging your dress along with you. It was a pretty dress, you had to admit, you didn't think Jake and Sunghoon would have been such experts in suggesting wedding dresses, but you were proven wrong.
"Pretty little doll..." Jay's arms promptly went to your waist, as you say yourself down on his thigh, forearms resting on his shoulder. His right hand, crawled up your back, to where the zipper of your dress lay stagnant. You pressed your body closer to his, your clothed pussy practically grinding against the course material of his trousers. Jay's soft, cherry pink lips, touched your neck agressively, leaving hues of red behind for everyone in town to know whose you were.
Jay's fingers fiddled with the zipper for a minute before he pulled it down completely, to reveal the white lace of your bra. It barely hid anything, your perked up nipples were clearly visible and your cleavage was a valley Jay wanted to dive into and make a home out of.
Jay's hands palmed your bare back as he ripped your dress off of you, eliciting a moan out of your mouth as you saw his muscles flex ever so slightly, thought the fabric of his silk shirt. Your fingers also went to the buttons of his shirt, unbuttoning the first three before Jay perked his thigh up, the fabric now hitting your clothed cunt. You gasped at the sudden sensation.
"So impatient aren't you, love?" Jay connected his lips to yours in a short kiss, "Tell me what you want baby."
"You're allowing me that privilege?" You chuckled, trying hard not to stare down at his chiseled chest, "That's too kind of you Mr Park."
"Would you prefer if I was rougher, Mrs Park?" Jay wore a handsome smirk on his face, the hand which settled on your back, squeezed it ever so slightly, making you squirm. Jay's fingers danced up your legs, slowly making their way up your legs until he reached the waistband of your panties. His devilish smirk only grew in size as you lifted your hips just enough for him to slide the thin fabric down your milky thighs to expose your slick center.
"Needy little slut aren't you doll?" Jay whispered in your, sending shivers down your spine, "All wet for me, and I haven't even touched you."
"Maybe you're just that handsome." You responded with a cheeky smile. You started to slowly roll your hips into Jay's stomach, your soaked pussy rubbed harshly against his trousers. Jay could feel the spot on which you sat comfortably getting wetter by the second.
"Or maybe I'm just that pretty." You said again, adding fuel to the fire, "Well, a pretty girl like me shouldn't be with a man like you should she?"
As you went to pull away, he grabbed your arm gently, his grasp firm around your skin, before bringing you back down to his level and pressing his lips into your mouth, a searing hot kiss igniting you into a pile of flames, a mountain of ash at the feeling of his touch.
You kissed him back, eyes shutting tight like a stone door, your body leaning in to his as his tongue dragged across your own. That elicited a moan from the back of your throat, and without exactly meaning to, you felt yourself grinding against him.
"Pretty girl like you deserves to be fucked like the whore she is, doll." His fingernails drew marks over your skin, adding to your pleasure. The drag of your clit against his muscular thigh causes you to whimper, pressing yourself harder to his skin, as if trying to obliviate the mere atoms of space between the both of you. His large calloused hands guide your hips, moving you up and down his thigh.
Soon the throbbing in your cunt got stronger, your clit begging for more friction, something to relieve the pressure building up in your lower stomach. You give an experimental rock of your hips, freezing to wait for Jay's reaction. When he doesn't respond you do it again, setting a steady rhythm as you grind down on his lap.
The zipper on the front of his slacks rubs perfectly against your sensitive clit, the pleasure increasing with every roll of your hips, head burying further into the crook of Jay's neck, his masculine scent filling your nose. Your pussy is dripping now, your empty hole flutters and pulses as you continue grinding in Jay's lap, too lost in pleasure to register the tiny whimpers leaving your mouth.
Speeding up your movement, hips pressing down harder into his, a breathy moan of his name falls from your lips as you're about to reach your peak. Just as you feel yourself tumbling over the edge, two strong, cold hands firmly grab your hips, halting your movement completely.
You whine desperately at the loss of your orgasm, hips frantically chasing more of that delicious friction that would have your cunt gushing, but it's useless. Jay's vice-like grip prevents any of your movements, cold fingers bruising as they dig into the soft flesh of your hips.
"Not so soon, sweetheart." Jay smirked at your shocked expression, you looked adorable to him with widened eyes and an agape mouth, "My spoilt little princess."
"Jay please..." You whine out of annoyance, but his grip stayed strong on your body, practically leaving scars there from how strong it was.
"Poor baby, begging for me." Jay snickered, sending shivers down your spine, "Tell me what you want darling—tongue, fingers or cock?" One of his hands went down to your thigh, giving it a light squeeze, eliciting a moan out of you.
"T-Tongue." You spluttered out, as Jay kept groping your thigh. He snickered once more, his ego grew in size as he watched you sink into an abyss at his mere touch.
"Good girl." Jay simply replied, before tightly securing his hands round your hips. He lifted you up with ease, and places your feet on the ground, before getting up himself and picking you up again. One of his hands wound round your waist and one of them went to your ass, squeezing it mischievously. He meticulously carried you to the bed, which by the look of it, had new silken sheets, just waiting to be ruined.
The feeling of the soft fabric seduced you as you allowed your body to relax into the mattress. Your eyes flickered over to Jay, whose figure could be seen outlined by the faint golden light of the lamp placed on the bedside table. The carved muscles of his back enamoured you into a trance as you stared at your new husband take off his shirt. His hands went to his newly bought leather belt and he took it off in one swipe, loosening up his trousers which soon came off to reveal his hardened cock. Your mouth filled to the brim with saliva as you stared at it.
"It's not good to stare, sweetheart." Jay chuckled, turning to you, his gaze set fire to your skin, "Now—" his mouth morphs into a lopturned smirk, "—you said tongue didn't you?"
The only response he got was a weak whimper when his hands roamed over your thighs, spreading your legs apart. You gasped softly at the feeling of his breath hitting your skin.
Jay peeled open your pussy, revealing your glistening slit to his hungry eyes. He watched the way your arousal pooled at the tight hole of your cunt, the way your clit hardened at the feeling of the cold air. Your hands snaked down to his head, and you dragged your fingers through his hair, his name falling from your tongue like a melody.
"Jay—stop teasing." You whined, not having the patience anymore to wait for his heaven-trained tongue to get stuck inside your pussy.
His eyes find yours again, and he kept them there as he traced his lips north. He nosed the juncture of your cunt and inner thigh, running a tongue along your mound. You gasped and eyes narrowed, watching him with rapt attention. He pressed a kiss to the top of your slit and his hands come up to open you to him, pulling the lips apart and tonguing the collected moisture there. Your head fell back as your elbows gave way, falling flat against the blanket. 
"god, just like that," you groan as he brushes against your g-spot and circles his tongue around your clit.
Jay's tongue swirls in lazy circles against your clit, hands gripping your trembling thighs to anchor you to him. His mind is hazy with desire, lost in the taste and scent of you, the feel of your body under his touch. He can't get enough of you, craving more and more until he's completely satisfied, which he knows will take hours at the very least.
All you can hear are the brazen sounds of his slurps and sucking along with his ragged breathing and you scream and whine as your hands reach out weakly to push his shoulders away, the pleasure running through your nerves, strangling your throat in the process.
“Ahh-! Jay- wait..!” He doesn't listen to your pleads to get him to stop, the pleasure almost unbearably good. How could he stop? His sweet tooth craves for his sweetheart’s sloppy cunt almost all the time.
He’s enjoying every second of it, listening to how noisy you’re getting, the screeches and moans escaping your lips, barely managing to form words to escape those pretty lips he loves to shove his cock into.
Your moans were getting higher and higher as your back arched to feed more of yourself to him, desperately craving the feel of his touch, of his nose, of his beard against your thighs, of the lips he so devoutly was using to suck on your most sensitive spot.
As his tongue continues exploring your clit with need, you push against his shoulders but fail, his strong grip keeping you locked in position.
Nonetheless you keep trying, far too overstimulated for your own good. You try to get his hands to release their firm grip of holding your thighs up, but you fail again, then try pushing his head away, yet you fail again, your attempts futile.
"Fuck—oh Jay!” You wailed a wanton amount, enough for the whole neighbourhood to shake due to the sheer pleasure you’re feeling. The white pain mixing with adrenaline sends you right to the edge of teetering release.
“Can’t you please just— Ah! fuck me already!” There it was, the only permission he ever needed.
Jay was quick to pull his skilled tongue out and move his hands from your thighs to your hips, getting himself steady on top of you. The sudden movement caught you off guard, even more so, when his lips landed on yours. You tasted the faint bits of yourself on them and you relished it all, arching yourself further into him. He was your husband now, and you made sure that you took full advantage of that.
"So fucking pretty." Jay whispered after pulling away. One of his hands cupped your cheek while the other remained on your hip. Jay was quick to withdraw his hand and trace it back to your hip.
“You ready?” he asked, licking his lips before pulling his cock out, already covered in pre-cum. He looked so beautiful above you, his hips so close to yours, his hair falling into his face and his chest raising as fast as yours. You looked a mess, but you were his mess and he wanted to devour you.
He was tender with you, his fingertips light across the length of your body as he felt you, his touch delicate- as though you were a statue that could break at any moment. He was going to take his time with you. He was going to devote himself to the religion that was your weeping cunt.
Yet, in a play of duality, the moans, the lewd moans that crawled up your throat were filthy, even filthier than the sound of how wet, how unbelievably drenched you were as he plunged into you over and over, as he literally used you as a fucktoy, filling you up more and more, until he was finally sat inside you to the very hilt, until his pubic hairs were grazing your skin and the tip of his cock was touching your cervix.
"Fucked out already, love?" Jay snickered at you, he knew his words always made you weak.
You managed a weak glare, but it melted into a moan as he pushed into you. The stretch was intense, making you claw at his shoulders for support. He kissed your neck, his lips and teeth leaving a trail of fire as he pulled out slowly before thrusting back in deeply. You moaned at the sensation, your body arching to meet his every movement.
You opened your eyes slowly, your vision filled with the sight of him. His beautiful, sweat-covered face was close to yours, the grey in his eyes adding to his rugged appeal. His aura burned with an intensity that made your heart race.
His pace quickened, his hips snapping against yours with a ferocity that left you breathless. The room was filled with the sounds of your combined moans, the slap of skin against skin, and the wet, obscene noises of your coupling. His free hand roamed over your body, caressing and squeezing, leaving trails of fire in its wake.
“Jay– more,” His eye flits up to your face, asking for silent reassurance that that is indeed what you want. “For god's sake Jay, move faster please I–” Not needing to be told twice, Jay picks up speed. Where his thrusts were slow and sensual, now they are fast and hard. He fucks you like a man starved, as if he was told this is the last woman he will ever lay with. Which in his case, was true, since you were married after all. 
It all feels so, so good. Your mind is a hazy mess with only thoughts of him and his fat fucking dick. Every time his tip meets that spongy spot inside of you, you feel like you're seeing stars as drool runs down your chin. When was the last time you ever got your guts rearranged like this? In fact, when was the last time you even felt the touch of a man? Heeseung surely had done it, but it was surely never as pleasurable as this.
Those questions were swept away in the flurry of pleasure brought by Jay's cock sliding in and out of your pussy with a wet squelch, your body rocking back and forth with the force. He relished the sight under him, your sweaty body splayed out so prettily for him as he brought you to new heights.
"Damn... You're so fucking tight—"He grinned as you responded with nothing but incoherent babbles, too dumbed down to even form a proper sentence. "—sucking in my cock like it never wants to let it go, honey..."
Jay brought one of his hands down to grab your breast, fondling the mound and squeezing before tweaking your nipple between the pads of his thumb and index. That action elicits a hiss out of him as he feels you clench down harder around him, making him let out a breathy chuckle
"Haah... You liked that, didn't you, doll?" His answer comes in the form of another pornographic moan, "...What if I gave you a child, huh? —Fuck—! You like the thought, love? Letting me fuck a baby into you?"
"Jay—ah shit!" You screamed, feeling your gummy cunt being attacked by his tip, "N-Need your cum—please!"
Jay would have been lying if he said the thought wasn't enticing, getting to raise a child with you that's his own. It was something he'd been dreaming of for the longest while. You weren't sure if you could have children, but Jay would at least attempt to make it happen. Even if it meant pumping you full of his cum till your belly bloats from the amount he's emptied into you. It drives him to go a bit faster, his cock reaching deep as your walls spasm around him.
You gasp out his name as your arms tighten around him. Hearing a chuckle, he did it again. "What happened baby?" He cooed, you could hear the smirk dripping from his voice. But you were too distracted making noises to complain.
“My dumb little girl, just love getting her needy cunt fucked hm? there sweetheart? yeah feels good doesn’t it?” He up his pace, even if you thought that was impossible. His cock continues to drill inside you with the tip expertly hitting your heavenly spot.
It doesn’t take long to feel the first flutterings of that eye-wateringly beautiful sensation between your legs. The force of his thrusts, and the friction against your clit cause you to see stars behind your eyes. With one last scream of his name, you cum around his cock. Your walls pulling him in, attempting to root him to you. Jay however, does not let up, chasing afer his own release. You quickly stammer, “I’m cumming! Fuck!”
“Cum for me. Right now give it to me, baby, come on” Jay pistons his hips with slower pace but deeper, sliding himself unbelievably full to your cunt, with a prominent bulge on your lower tummy.
Jay’s legs nearly gave out underneath him, hearing your sweet words. As your pussy contracted in wet bursts around him again, Jay released every drop of cum inside of his body, deep into your walls so that you could feel yourself becoming full and it beginning to drip out as it became too much.
Jay didn’t move and kept his cock inside you, letting himself and you calm down and try to catch your breath. As you regain your composure, your head against Jay's chest, your mind almost exploded with the overwhelming thoughts.
You definitely were not on the pill.
You and Jay winced in union as he slowly pulled out, careful not to waste any of his seed, which stayed buried deep within you. You could see the shine of the thin line of sweat on Jay's body as he slumped down on the mattress next to you. He looked ethereal, like a God in his own kingdom.
"You ok, love?" Jay murmured in his deep voice, which sounded tired.
"You're asking me that now, asshole?" You chuckled breathlessly, your chest riding and falling according to your hasty breaths, "I'm not on the pill by the way." You added, with uncertainty coating your tone.
You felt Jay's arms quickly wrap around you, pulling your head into his chest. He smiled down at you, pressing a saccharine-sweet kiss to your sweaty forehead. You winced at the feeling of your sore legs moving slightly on the bed.
"Good." Jay said, "I wasn't planning on having any protection anyway."
"Jay!" You gasped playfully, softly hitting his chest, "Don't say that!"
"Or what?" He smirked.
"Or I'll make you a dad." You managed a cheeky smile, feeling drops of sleep drip onto your eyes.
"Gladly, my love."
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kumkaniudaku · 7 days ago
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Me and Your Mama
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Summary: Terry and Patrice learn more about their love through life changing news on New Year’s Eve.
Pairing: Terry Richmond x Black!OC
Word Count: 4,436
Warnings: Mentions of Pregnancy
Recommended Reading: Spoiled, Caught
Author's Note: We're at the end of Ficmas! Thanks for all the requests sprinkled in the middle. This has been a fun little ride and hope you feel fulfilled at the end of this one. Stay safe this New Year's Eve. See you in 2025.
Several mornings passed between Christmas, New Year's Eve, and their five-hour drive up north with no attempt to confirm Patrice's suspicion. She'd purposely avoided all conversation about it, preferring to push the thought to the back of her mind until she and Terry could no longer tiptoe around the growing elephant in the room. 
Moments after luggage was rolled into their downtown D.C. hotel room, the pair braced themselves for punishing winds and bitter cold in search of the nearest convenience store to pick up comfort snacks and three different pregnancy tests. Terry did the honors of selecting what he thought were the best options based on his research, while Patrice forced herself to take an interest in potato chips and snack cakes a few aisles over. 
She couldn't bring herself to engage. Talking about it, whatever it was, would make the dreams more real. And if what she dreamed wasn't true, she didn't know how she could pretend that all was well while her heart chipped and shattered inside her chest. So, she stayed away and let Terry put on his brave face for the both of them.
In the bright convenience store nearly empty as people prepared for a night out to celebrate the incoming new year, they felt like children caught doing something wrong instead of an adult couple on the precipice of discovering what the rest of their lives could look like. 
Terry mumbled through passive small talk with the smiling cashier, staying just vague enough in his answers to avoid the glaring topic of the day before ushering Patrice out of the automated sliding doors and back toward their home for the next few nights. 
Once they returned, neither of them spoke. Patrice slowly unpacked plastic bags filled with items, leaving the slender white boxes for last. 
She drug a fingernail across the box on top, then looked at Terry, who couldn't take his eyes off her. "I think I'm gonna pee by myself if that's okay." 
"That's cool," he answered, offering support with a weak smile. "I'll be out here if you need me."
Most of Patrice's time in the bathroom was spent staring at her reflection in the mirror. She slowly lifted the hem of her thick, cashmere sweater to examine her stomach, twisting side to side for the best angle. Nothing of note. The small bump that did exist was no different than any other day. At least, that's what she told herself as she ran her fingers along the slight curve. 
Unfolded instructions littered the bathroom counter, each saying a variation of the same thing: Pee, wait, have a minor panic attack, then check the results. Or something like that. Patrice's eyes were starting to cross from information overload. 
On the other side of the door, Terry stared out of the large bedroom window at nothing in particular as thoughts quickly ran in and out of his brain. He'd never considered being anybody's dad unless Patrice was on the other side of the fantasy. Maybe once or twice when other partners brought it up, but nothing concrete. Nothing this real, nothing that felt this right. 
Sure, it was quick. And sure, it was probably not a great idea to introduce a child into a relationship that was only recently recognized by the state as a legal union. Any boy, girl, or otherwise would be dropped into a marriage not much older than them and cared for by two humans still trying to understand life. But they'd be loved. They'd be showered in affection from sun up to sun down. He had no doubt about it. What greater joy than to hold a child that was half him and half the woman he loved with every fiber of his being? 
But he was only one part of the equation. Ultimately, Patrice was the deciding factor. Patrice and a collection of three pregnancy tests two minutes away from unveiling their fate.
The toilet flushing made Terry blink back into reality from daydreams of diaper changes and kindergarten graduations. He caught a glimpse of himself in the window's faultless glass before turning in enough time to see Patrice poke her head out of the bathroom for his attention. 
She fiddled with her fingers and rocked on her heels. "You can come in if you want." 
He nodded, careful not to appear too eager or unconcerned, and moved to join her for the wait. 
The soft click of the door closing sealed them into the room together. Terry silently shuffled into the room past Patrice to sit on the closed toilet lid and nervously ran his palm down the back of his head. He took a deep breath before looking over at Patrice, who'd gone back to obsessing over how her stomach looked beneath her clothes. 
"Hey," he spoke in a sweet, low tenor to avoid startling her. She looked over, eyes shining from suppressed tears, and found him looking at her with round doe eyes. He grabbed her hand and pulled her closer. "Come here, sweetheart." 
Sweetheart. To Patrice's soul, the word felt like warm chicken soup on a winter evening. She could never question how Terry felt about her. He'd been there to offer comfort through a tumultuous, frightening week. Feeling his large hands grip her waist to pull her between his legs grounded her in the right there and then. Regardless of the results, he'd still be around to kiss away the bad times and laugh with her through the good. 
Patrice lightly placed her cold hands on his face while he looked up at her, waiting for anything she decided to say. 
She closed her eyes and sighed. "What if it's negative?" 
"Well. We'll go out and drink champagne all night like we planned. I hate the taste on its own but know I'll love it on your lips when we kiss at midnight. Then we move on. Maybe have a conversation that we should've had a long time ago on the drive home." 
"And if it's positive?" 
Terry took a deep breath, allowing the words to come out in a mind-clearing huff. "We skip the champagne and keep the kiss. But we have to celebrate either way, baby. Time's gonna pass no matter what." 
For all his mixed bag of positive and negative traits, Terry's sneaky optimism was Patrice's favorite. A short, airy laugh came through Patrice's nostrils as she tossed her head back and groaned. 
"You're always so sure of things and I'm sitting here about to throw up my lunch." 
Terry rubbed his hands up and down the back of her legs with a smile. "I'm not sure of shit, really," he laughed. "I just know that we'll be alright in the end. This Gunny I was close with told me everything goes back to baseline. Don't sweat the bullshit in between. So, that's what I'm doing. Waiting it out."
"That doesn't scare you? The waiting?" 
"Sometimes." A quick glance down convinced him to slowly lift Patrice's sweater with one hand and hold it in place while he pressed feather-soft kisses across her abdomen. Kisses for her? Kisses for who he hoped lived inside? He didn't know. But he spoke against the area to communicate with whoever would listen. "But waiting always brought me something better than what I had. How could I not trust the process when I have the result standing right in front of me?" 
A rush of emotions broke the levees holding Patrice's tears back, sending a wet stream sliding down her hot cheeks. Terry wiped her face with the back of his hand in silence, the gentleness in his care working double time to soothe whatever thoughts and feelings were coming forward for her. 
When the short bout of crying had ceased, and she was left with nothing but her husband, a timer ticking down to mere seconds and a looming result hanging over their heads, Patrice ran her thumb along Terry's cheek and smiled down at him. 
"I love you more than I ever thought I could, but we gotta slow down, Terrence. I'm worn out." 
Terry answered her joke with a low chuckle that bounced his shoulders and spread his smile wide. "I'm with you, baby. That should be our New Year's resolution." 
"Either that or finally getting around to that budget we've been talking about. Might have to add a baby fund line item." 
"We got it. Don't worry." Terry assured before kissing the inside of her wrist. "Whatever happens, we're okay. Gimme a kiss."
Sweet affection in the face of potentially life-altering change offered some sense of normalcy as they allowed the world to turn into abstract concepts with shared, tender smooches. 
They'd almost forgotten what brought them into the bathroom until the harsh trill of Patrice's phone timer ripped through space and time, again placing them smack dab in the middle of the present. 
When Terry reached to grab one of the tests after silencing the noise, Patrice jolted forward to grab his wrist. "Okay, wait!" she panted. "I-I'll grab one, and you'll grab one. Then we'll do the third one together. Does that make sense?"
"Alright. Which one do you want?" 
"I don't fuckin' know! Choose for me! I can't do this, TJ!" 
Terry wore a crooked smile as he calmly plucked two tests from their containers and placed the digital option into Patrice's palm face down. He took the analog test and covered the result with his thumb before swallowing the lump in his throat. 
A deep breath rushed through parted lips. "Turn it over on three. One, two…" 
Three never came for Patrice. Even after Terry had uttered the number and turned his test over slowly, Patrice kept her eyes closed, waiting for him to spill the beans. She couldn't bring herself to verify on her own accord. He'd have to be her eyes and ears. 
Silence hung in the air for a few seconds, making the wait agonizing until Terry broke the seal. 
"Treecey," he called out. "Please look with me. I need you to see." 
A deep breath helped her blink her way back into clear eyesight. She didn't look at Terry or try to peek at the pink test in his hand. Instead, she flipped her test over with trembling fingers and stared at the small digital screen displaying a single word. 
"Oh –" was all she managed to choke out before looking up at Terry's beaming smile and tear-soaked face. "Does yours say –?" 
"Two lines, baby. Two!"
Disbelief gave way to unadulterated shock. "Oh. My. God. Look at the other one!" 
"You have to do it with me!"
Another countdown as they held on to the final test together preceded an excited flip and harmonizing reactions that could only be described as happy sobs. 
Patrice rocked Terry in a tight embrace while he clung to her, crying into her sweater's soft fabric more than he'd cried in years. An avalanche of emotions wrapped in disbelief that he'd been immeasurably blessed after his year started with so much strife. His losses came with gains ten times above what he could ask or think. 
His wife brushed tears from her already stained face before kissing the crown of his head and repeating, "You're gonna be a daddy, Pooh. You're gonna be a daddy!"
Emotions distorted his deep voice. "Swear?"
"Swear, baby. You're gonna be a daddy."
He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs, not caring who he disturbed. Then, he'd run down the hallways, through the lobby's doors, out into the cold D.C. air, and holler to anyone who would listen that his wife, the girl he fell in love with before he could legally drink, was carrying a child that might look just like him someday. 
But he couldn't get past sharing the excitement seemingly gushing out of his pores with the only other person who could understand his joy. He chose to lift Patrice up in the air as he stood tall, spinning her in a slow circle before gingerly placing her back on her feet and pressing his forehead against hers. 
"What the fuck," he laughed as he tickled her sides, causing her to giggle back. "I'm having a baby. With my baby!"
"I guess I couldn't beat teen pregnancy. My parents are going to be so disappointed in me." 
"Stop it." The thought of his parents sitting in their living room without a clue that their firstborn was miles away receiving such big news flipped on a light bulb in Terry's head. "Our parents! Should we call? We should call them now. Do you wanna do a group FaceTime or like a conference call or what?" 
Patrice watched Terry fumble around his pockets for his phone until he came up empty-handed and reached for hers. She pushed the device further away and shook her head. "Nuh-uh. Can we just…enjoy the news by ourselves tonight. I want it to be our secret a little longer. Is that okay?" 
"Of course, Piggy. Whatever you want. I'm sorry, I just - shit. This is insane. You have a baby in there. Should we tell them we're a party of three tonight at dinner?" 
"No," Patrice laughed, finding his unbridled excitement adorable. "If they cancel this reservation because you playin', me and you might have a problem, Daddy." 
Terry bit his lip and lowered his head to kiss at her neck. "Damn, I love hearing you say that. Say it again."
By the time they were approaching a swanky steakhouse on Patrice's long list of places to visit, she'd called him Daddy so much in jest that she almost told the hostess that that was the name on their reservation. 
Pockets of quiet conversation held over candlelight and crisp white tablecloths greeted them as they were led through the dimly lit restaurant to the table for the evening. Terry moved to pull out a chair for Patrice, but she stopped him with a kind smile. 
"I'm gonna run to the restroom. Mommy bladder is starting early. Order something cute for me?"
Her joke made Terry smile like a little boy until she was out of his sight and safely inside the ladies' room. 
Romantic jazz music oozing out of speakers concealed inside the walls like smooth red wine gave Patrice time to replay the day in her head, unable to contain the elation on her face as she washed her hands at the sink. 
Another woman, tall like a model and beautifully sepia-toned, applied lipstick in the mirror and noticed how she tried but failed to stop grinning. She smiled at Patrice before speaking. "You're glowing," she complimented. "I need whatever you've got going on tonight." 
Patrice chewed the inside of her cheek after a bashful thank you. She wanted to keep the words in and pleaded with herself to walk out of the restroom and return to Terry without uttering another word. 
"I'm pregnant," she blurted, unable to fight the urge. "My husband and I – he's the tall one out there waiting on me – we just found out that I'm pregnant. We were best friends over a decade ago, and I still can't believe we're married. Now, there's a baby inside me with half his DNA. I'm having a baby with Terry Richmond. Oh my God." The realization of her social blunder hit her like an 18-wheeler. "And I just told a stranger all my business. I am so sorry!" 
"No, no! That's incredible, girl! Can I hug you?"
Patrice didn't know why she obliged, but she did, allowing herself to sink into this woman's arms like she was an old friend and not someone whose name she didn't know. The woman rubbed her back and squeezed tight before pulling away. 
"Congratulations, sis. Happy Holidays." 
While Patrice received well wishes on the other side of the establishment, Terry gave his full attention to the cocktail menu as a server attempted to provide recommendations. 
"That one is a crowd favorite," the young man pointed out. "Is she a rum lover? It comes with top shelf Appleton Estate if so." 
Terry chuckled to himself. "She is, but she can't have any right now. We just found out she's pregnant before we got here." Further explanation caught in his throat. He didn't mean to offer up their secret. Excited Terry had done the talking, not calm and reserved Terry. 
He watched with wide eyes and an internal scolding rattling around the container of his mind as the server smiled and jotted a note on his pad. "First, congratulations! I'll note that to the staff and see if we can't do something special for you and your beautiful date. Second, no worries at all. We can turn that one into a mocktail and not lose too many of the flavor notes." 
"Thanks," Terry breathed out. "Hey, can you make sure you don't tell her I said that? It was supposed to be a secret." 
"Our lips are sealed, Mr. Richmond. Consider it a little something extra to celebrate the new year." 
Terry made a mental note to leave a handsome tip behind as Patrice reappeared from her time away. Her smile hypnotized him until she was close enough to remind him about her chair. He scrambled to his feet to take care of his duty, nervously pushing her to the table as if this were their first date. 
When he was back in his seat, he watched her survey the room and menu, taking in each of her features. 
High cheekbones passed down from a long line of majestic women. Soft, mahogany skin that mesmerized him in golden hour light every evening. Dark, expressive eyes that told the story of her inner thoughts, even when she tried to hide. Full lips he couldn't resist. The total package. Everything he hoped for was wrapped in one person. 
Terry sat across from her, smitten. His grin showcased all of his teeth and then some while she scanned the appetizers for something to satiate her peckishness. 
Prolonged silence made Patrice glance up and then double-take when she noticed Terry's one-sided staring contest. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?" 
"Just trying to remember how you looked on the second most important night of our lives." 
Sudden bashfulness sent heat rushing to her face. "The third," Patrice corrected with a smile. "Don't leave out New Orleans." 
Terry chuckled at the memory. "Baby, the sun was barely in the sky when you decided to disturb the whole third floor."
"It was time to wake up anyway. That's what's wrong with the world now." 
Jokes and discussions about the possibility of dessert before dinner dominated the conversation until their server returned with two drinks meant to loosen their lips and hips for the evening. A subtle wink between Terry and the server communicated all he needed to know without tipping off Patrice as she excitedly watched beautifully decorated glasses hit the table. 
"To our first night out as Mom and Dad," Terry toasted, prompting Patrice to raise her glass. 
Mom and Dad—parents to be—two bodies forming one in a few months—a culmination of thousands of experiences leading them to a fate written before they were born. The concept sounded so foreign yet so familiar. 
Patrice dabbed at misty eyes, sniffling out a breathy, "To Mommy and Daddy." 
Glasses softly clinked before she joined Terry in a long sip and starry-eyed gazes across the table to officially kick off a night of celebration. 
Or so they'd hoped. Full bellies caught up with exhausted minds and bodies once silver forks hit clean porcelain plates well before their planned 10 p.m. exit. They tried to negotiate the next move with each other: a little walk for digestion, maybe a minute to listen to street performers play go-go renditions of oldies their parents would enjoy, perhaps another dessert to keep the mood high. 
All of their suggestions paled in comparison to hearing the mechanical whir of the hotel's lock precede the door swinging open to a warm room. There were no crowds trying to cram their bodies onto a rooftop brimming with eager folks anticipating good fortune as the clock flipped forward on a new year. There was only each other and the comfort of familiarity. 
Bottles of Sprite from the downstairs market acted like expensive bottles of bubbly poured into scavenged plastic cups next to a collection of fatty snacks, and cell phones switched to silent mode to avoid distractions. 
Terry and Patrice two-stepped hand in hand to jams playing from the television broadcast, dressed down in comfortable clothes and sporting ever-growing smiles. 
Under warm lamplight, Terry held Patrice's hand over her head to help her spin like a wind-up ballerina before pulling her close. "What were you doing last year around this time?"
"Ugh, don't remind me," she groaned, a sour look making her frown momentarily. "I was in a bathroom stall breaking up with my ex. Then Phee got us so drunk that we ended up blacked out before the countdown. I still don't know how we got back to her house or why we were cuddled up in her bed like that."
"Sounds like the kind of chaos you three get into when you're unsupervised."
"Whatever." Patrice laughed before making her fingers dance across Terry's broad shoulders. "What about you? What were you doing?"
Terry let a wry smile creep across his face. "Alone and sleeping. I didn't think there was much to look forward to, and I had to work in the morning anyway. Don't even think I turned the TV on."
The thought of Terry sleeping in on the night handpicked for blind optimism drew a sympathetic look from Patrice. "We both had a rough go at it, huh?"
"I don't know, mine was pretty chill. You were the one missing chunks of time." Patrice took faux offense at his joke, slapping across his chest before they let off laughs that slowly dissipated into a comfortable silence. 
Terry rested his head atop Patrice's, his mind taking a winding road back to the beginning while she hummed a made-up tune to herself. 
"Fifth-period Forensics with Mr. Turner. Junior year. You were wearing little strawberries crocheted on a pink sweater and your hair in a high ponytail. Kind of like tonight."
Patrice looked up and tilted her head in confusion. "What?"
"That's the moment I fell in love with you. I'd always liked you, but that's the moment I realized that I loved you," he clarified. "I spent so much time denying it, tiptoeing around how I felt and trying to find you in other women long after we were done, but I kept coming back to you acing that pop quiz in a pink strawberry sweater."
Patrice chuckled and smiled, recalling the time when her feelings blossomed beyond butterflies in her tummy at the mention of his name into a full-bodied, ever-present yearning for his heart. 
Terry waited expectantly, longing to know if there was a moment for Patrice – if her love had a spark that rocked her world the way she did so long ago for him. 
Flashes of bright light and distant cheering cut in just as Patrice seemed ready to confess, stealing her attention for a second too long. 
She gasped like a child on Christmas morning. "Look, baby! We can see the fireworks from here." Patrice tugged Terry along, all two hundred plus pounds of him yielding to her will slowly but surely. 
He had to admit, the sight was beautiful. Bright flashes of light turning into whimsical bursts kept him captivated as the clock ticked down the final minutes of the year. He slowly embraced her from behind, needing to feel her warmth combined with his for comfort. Patrice watched in content silence, smiling to herself while Terry watched the show unfold from the reflection in her glasses. 
Two minutes left. Two minutes to cap off a whirlwind 365 days and march triumphantly into a new slate. Two minutes to release long-forgotten truths buried in the recesses of Patrice's mind. She leaned back against Terry and craned her neck to admire him from her vantage point. 
A jawline fit for a man meant to be showcased to the world. Piercing eyes that shifted and changed with his emotions. Skin marked with blemishes telling countless stories – some he'd share and others that would follow him to the other side. Full pink lips that talked her through good, bad, and intimate times. All the features that might grace a child not yet named and growing in her womb.
"Senior prom night. You told me you loved me, and I said it back because I always said it back. But, that time, it felt different. It wasn't like sayin' it to my parents or my friends or the stray cat Mama let us feed. A different part of my heart meant it. That was the first moment."
Terry looked down at her, smirking and silently encouraging her to continue. She turned in his arms and then took hold of his ears to rub gentle circles against them. 
One minute left. Seconds dwindling. She continued. "The second time was today. And I hope there's a third, a fourth, and one hundred more to come. I never want to stop falling in love with you, TJ." 
Terry squeezed her a little tighter as if she might vaporize and blow away if he didn't hold on for dear life. "Yeah, me too," He whispered, drawing closer to her lips. "Never." 
Faint voices shouting a countdown in unison floated through empty streets and up to the 10th floor to surround a couple preparing to embark on a new journey. 
“Ten…nine…eight…seven…”
An excited buzzing, nearly perceptible by touch, sparked across the city. Heartfelt 'I love you's' shared as one breath passed between Terry and Patrice just before they connected lips and tongues. 
“Six…five…four…”
Colors painted their bodies from the window, bathing them in light one last time from January to December. A final salute from the Most High. 
"Three…two…one! Happy New Year!" 
Endless possibilities coated in an extra dose of magic felt real for the first time in forever. A lover's embrace carried hope and a promise. They'd start anew in lockstep the way the stars intended, with an extra set of fingers and toes to usher through life at some point in the future. 
But, for a moment, Terry and Patrice stood suspended in time, drunk off the taste of each other, ushering in the new year the only way they knew how. 
Together.
———————————
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melancoley · 2 months ago
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WHAT MOVES THE WORLD
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SYNOPSIS: when you’re born into a burning house, you think the entire world is on fire – that was kakashi’s reality. always surrounded by fragments of war, kakashi grew up with only the purpose of surviving beating in his heart. for him, nothing else existed in the world but war – that was kakashi’s philosophy. until you showed up. and, like spring, you came with the promise of hope and warmth and ended up bringing an inevitable change that would forever alter the life, and heart, of hatake kakashi.
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PAIRING: hatake kakashi x gn!reader WORD COUNT: 5.811.
TAGS: soulmate!au, strangers to lover(s), fast-paced, unrequited love, kinda miscommunication. angst, fluff, hurt/no-comfort. CONTENT: gloomy kid kakashi. confused young-adult kakashi. heartbroken adult kakashi. shinobi reader. you are full of life & love talking to kakashi. conversations about stars, wars & love. he is the captain of your team one time.
WARNINGS: mention of sakumo's death but nothing explicit. you are going to break kakashi's heart, so be ready.
COLE'S NOTE: hiii, miss me? ♡ so !! this fic was originally a request and i posted this on my previous blog - if it sounds familiar, maybe u read the old version: ‘war & love’. i did some changes here and there to turn ur reading more pleasant and i hope i did a good job lol also !!! chou made one fanart based on this fic - i suggest u check it out after reading this, it's really pretty, u gonna love it !! ♡ have fun breaking hearts ♡
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Not all stories are happy.
Not all soulmates are reciprocal.
Not all people could change their destiny.
Of course, in a perfect world, one person’s soulmate would also be another person’s soulmate. But reality went far beyond fairy tales and, as such, not all soulmates were mutual – and a person only knew their destiny when it was too late.
For years, people woke up with words tattooed on their wrists. They were simple, small words, just for the purpose of summarizing people’s love lives with their true love.
There were the luckier ones who woke up with little ‘fulfilled’ or ‘happily ever after’ on their wrists after their wedding. There were also those who had little ‘close call’ or ‘don’t try again’ written on their wrists on the coldest nights. And there were also those that read painfully ‘not destined’ or even ‘maybe in a next life’ that caused an inexplicable burning in the eyes of those who received such words. There were those who liked it, there were those who didn’t mind a mere tattoo and there were also those who did everything to force a soulmate into their lives.
The reality is that a person’s tattoo was already inscribed on them from the moment their soul found a body, always wanting to arrive at the right time to make itself noticed. And that was why no one could change their destiny.
But none of that matter. None of that mattered one bit to Kakashi. Because he only had one thing in mind: becoming strong and reliable. Kakashi didn’t care about dating or romance. Kakashi just wanted to do his duty as a shinobi.
But, of course, no matter how much he didn’t want to know, no matter how much he showed he didn’t want to know, his father was always attentive to him, always wanting to make him even minimally interested in the subject. After all, parents only wanted the best for their children.
And that was why Sakumo forced Kakashi to sit next to him on that cold, foggy morning.
“Kakashi, there is beauty in the midst of all this chaos.”
Sakumo’s voice was lost amid the fog, a phrase of pure harmony and delicacy trying to find its way in the thick maze of clouds and trees that invaded the territory.
There was a pause.
Kakashi didn’t deign to respond – he knew perfectly well where this conversation would end, he knew perfectly well what awaited him.
“The world is not driven by war alone.”
“Dad…”
Kakashi let a long and monotonous sigh escape his small lips, muffled by the dark mask, trapped inside the fabric without being able to show his total dissatisfaction.
“Not again. I have class in a bit.”
Kakashi stood up carefully and a little hesitantly. The truth is he didn’t want to leave his father alone. Kakashi didn’t want to abandon him once again at the mercy of fairy tales that did nothing but deceive a person.
However, Sakumo gave him no other choice. The cheap repetition of stories and princesses and kings became tiring – there was no longer any surprise in his father’s speech, there was no longer any hope for Kakashi.
As such, he was determined to abandon his father sooner than expected, his little feet taking short, uncertain steps to get away from his father, to get away from yet another unwanted conversation.
“Kakashi, why do you think there is war?”
Kakashi stopped his step with some abruptness.
That simple question from Sakumo echoed strongly inside Kakashi’s head, causing small dizziness in his mind where several possible answers appeared without any invitation, assaulting the little child’s sanity, making him question everything.
Why does war exist?
Of course, the main answer focused on people’s inability to be able to communicate with each other. There was also that need to come out and show their disgusting egos – that is the second answer to that question.
But there was something more.
There had to be something more.
People didn’t start wars just because they were bored.
Right?
Throughout his small and short existence, Kakashi has lived in a world of war and from an early age he was trained and taught to live and survive amidst so much devastation and anguish. Kakashi’s entire existence was shaped around the thick and aggressive sphere of what moved the world – war.
Would he have to know why?
In reality, Kakashi didn’t care if someone wanted to conquer the world, or if someone was kidnapped or killed unleashing days and months and years of pure destruction. Kakashi only had the mission to fight the war – that was all that mattered. Now the reason?
“I don’t care. Certainly the origin of all wars has an illogical basis. I have to stop the war. I don’t need to know why it started.”
Sakumo smiled and let his son go on his way, slowly losing sight of him as he began to be consumed by the fog.
Sakumo’s lips formed a perfect smile, a smile that left a trail of sadness with it because he knew perfectly well what was going to happen that day – Sakumo couldn’t really smile, not when he knew the end was near.
But there was something else hidden in his smile.
No matter how loud the voices screamed in his mind, the reality was that Sakumo feared for his son. Sakumo feared that Kakashi would never experience the beautiful pleasures of love as he himself had once experienced.
And there was nothing to do. There was nothing to do when Kakashi only focused on the human intellect. There was nothing to do when Kakashi purposely denied all the emotions that moved the world. There was simply nothing to do.
And Sakumo kept smiling.
His cold fingers gently stroked a small ‘there will be more in the next life’ that was fading due to the passage of time.
Several memories of a short and intense love began to haunt him in such a way that Sakumo didn’t even notice when the sadness on his lips turned into hope.
That hadn’t been the last life with his beloved – Sakumo knew that.
Then, muttering the answer to the question he himself asked his son, Sakumo stood up as well.
He knew perfectly well that there would be a second chance for his love. He knew perfectly well that Kakashi would realize the reality of the world they lived in. He knew perfectly well that everything would end well.
After all, there has never been a war without love.
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Kakashi had lost everything.
There was nothing left for someone so young.
At fourteen, Kakashi’s entire life fell apart before his own eyes. Without family or friends, without anyone who could support him, he had lost everything – including his way in this world. Kakashi was wandering through the days, lost on the path of life, with no knowledge of maps or no guides that could help him.
Kakashi had lost everything, until he gained a new friendship, a new hope.
You appeared with the arrival of spring. Uncertain and always encouraging steps, an enormous desire for knowledge to be noticed in the intense shine of your sweet eyes, and wide smiles enchanting anyone.
You brought with you the breath of fresh air that prevailed at that time of year. Your feet encouraged so many beautiful flowers to bloom, new lives were created by you, new paths were drawn by your bare feet. The innocence of someone who had not yet experienced the evils of the world painted your smile with an extra tenderness that gave your cheekbones small splashes of the passion that the sun felt for you.
That spring day, when Kakashi saw you leaning over a hollow log, you carried something more than pure curiosity and amusement in your fingertips. You brought with you the hope of a new life for Kakashi, a hope that was felt by him when he, very clumsily, stopped you from rolling with the log to the bottom of the cliff.
Quickly, like someone blowing a leaf, something formed between you. A friendship? Probably. It was hard to be sure with Kakashi. But whatever you and he shared, you both knew it was something unique, something true.
A new stage in both of your lives was discovered in the other’s presence, a vast and longing wave of feelings beginning to form in you.
There was complicity between the both of you.
Since your first meeting next to that log, you and Kakashi shared an enviable complicity. Each one understood the other without the need to exchange words. A simple look, a simple sign, was enough for one to be understood by the other.
Days were spent together. Little secrets were exchanged amidst laughter and sighs, two distinct lives were soaked in pure melancholy, drenched in an extreme longing for a long-lost past.
And your adolescence has never looked so beautiful in the eyes of others.
Before you knew it, you and Kakashi have reached adulthood. And what used to be so simple and natural now seemed complicated with so many glances and hidden smiles and that hint of desire that clung to every word you exchanged.
Quickly, like someone forming a smile, beyond that very natural friendship, something more emerged between you. Something deeper began to emerge between the two of you.
“I don’t understand people’s admiration for the stars.”
You stretched a little as you sat next to Kakashi, the red blanket you always carried protecting you from the cold wind of that autumn night. “It’s something that has existed since the beginning of time. There are maps and photographs of them everywhere. Why the fascination?”
“It’s like war.”
The rest of your team rested silently on the ground, wrapped and cozy by a small fire starting by you, the tranquility of a successful mission being noted by their deep and steady breaths.
You and Kakashi were relaxing on one of the many branches of the most colorful and sturdy tree near your camp, your vision completely focused on the vast starry sky and the faint line of the horizon painted by the small mountains covered in snow.
There was silence on the ground and there was silence in the tree branches.
The breeze had been encouraged by several clouds venturing along unknown paths, giving you a little privacy on that very welcoming night. The moon was small, gaining strength for a more special date, slowly feeding on the desire of the most melancholy people who wrote to her. Every animal in the forest slept near you, the heat of the fire that crackled so loudly convincing the most diverse living beings to truly rest that night – except you and Kakashi.
“The war?”
You couldn’t contain the laughter that formed inside you, a sound so melodious and innocent that it woke up nature itself for a brief moment. The breeze had returned to you only to take with it the pure sound you released, keeping among the various clouds and stars the memory of your innocent question and laugh.
“How does the fascination of the stars compare to the war?”
“Humans can’t live without them.”
Kakashi was leaning against the trunk reading one of his typical books. None of his words were of the slightest interest. His uncovered eye cautiously read each line of the book. And he just waited for an answer. He waited for your curiosity. He waited for you.
“My dear Kakashi, I live well without both. Does that make me non-human?”
Kakashi let a long, amused sigh escape his lips and grab the echo of your new laugh. By closing the book and adopting a posture more favorable to a conversation, Kakashi let his movements continue over time.
The relaxing crackle of the fire calmly accompanied your team captain’s gestures as you fixed your eyes on Kakashi in the vain hope of encouraging him to speak or, at the very least, to hurry up.
However, there was no rush in Kakashi’s movements – all the time he took to sit next to you and stare at the stars seemed like an eternity to you.
But finally, Kakashi spoke.
“Of course you live well without both. But would you be the same person you are if they didn’t exist? Would you be complete if they didn’t exist?”
“Are you insinuating that we humans need to have stars and wars to be real?”
It seemed like an outrage. What Kakashi had just insinuated to you seemed to be wrapped in a thick layer of blasphemy and nonsense. The indignation at those words was reflected in the way you looked at the various leaves that framed Kakashi in an ethereal casing of change.
What was once a peaceful setting has now become a stage for nature. Strong winds and thick clouds slowly began to appear, hoping they could continue listening to Kakashi’s thoughts. Small nocturnal birds greeted you shyly with sweet and tender melodies that spread through the sleeping forest and made you smile.
“It’s what moves us.”
“I’m sorry,” you let out a fake laugh as you composed yourself on the tree branch.
You turned to Kakashi and focused your attention on his relaxed posture. Curiosity was caught in your eyes, and an eagerness to prolong that conversation could be seen in the way you so firmly and enthusiastically pronounced the words. “But I still don’t follow your reasoning.”
“A’right, let’s go step by step.”
“Please.”
Kakashi let out a small, almost inaudible laugh at your tender plea.
His eyes were now resting on your very curious posture: your arms adjusted the red blanket to also shelter Kakashi on that cold night; your eyes sparkled with the enthusiasm of yet another conversation with your best friend; your smile warmed Kakashi more than any blanket or fire could do.
“The stars, yea? We all know that since ancient times they have been the cause of all happiness and pain for people. People in ancient civilizations worshiped the stars as gods and saw in them countless stories and life lessons. And the very own people of those civilizations used the stars and their positions for agriculture and to make decisions. Are you following?”
“Yes, professor.”
You let out another laugh as you placed your legs over Kakashi’s and gently slid closer to him. The night was getting cold, the fire was on the ground and all you had was a red blanket and Kakashi.
And how he thanked all the gods for wearing a mask and for the moon being lazy that night. For, the pink tone he quickly adopted when he felt you so close to him only revealed how much he was waiting for that action of yours.
“So…”
A brief moment of silence followed after Kakashi’s statement.
Your captain’s reasoning was lost with your innocent act. It was a simple, affectionate gesture, something that had been repeated so many times. And, like every other time, Kakashi simply lost any coordination – the feeling of having you so close to him was fantastic, almost magical.
Thus, a brief moment of silence followed as Kakashi tried to find the thread of his thought, as Kakashi tried to grasp that thread without losing the very welcoming feeling of having you close to him.
“So,” he repeated again, his posture always relaxed and carefree, the mask being the perfect hiding place for his rosy face. “People adopted these little habits from their ancestors and that’s why there are so many people who still marvel at the stars. Of course, all romantics are also enchanted by them.”
“Why?”
Pause. Silence. Contemplation.
Why? In fact, that was always the question you asked. That was always the question that made sense to ask. Indeed, why?
Kakashi stared at the stars, trying to understand why. You stared at Kakashi, waiting for him to answer why.
But the answer never came. The answer never showed up and beautified your ears with sweet justifications and immaculate logic. For, realizing that there really wasn’t a defined reason for that question, Kakashi continued his reasoning.
Your captain’s voice was drawn out and always monotonous as if it were perpetually stuck in a timbre that conveyed a vast sense of comfort.
And you listened carefully to every word Kakashi said. You listened attentively to everything he had to say, always trying hard to follow his thoughts.
“Now the war.”
Kakashi paused briefly and took a deep breath.
A sigh that seemed to be filled with tiredness escaped his lips without realizing it – the memories of conversations he had with his father were felt at that exact moment. And they weighed. They weighed so much.
“War has always existed. Since the beginning of humanity there has been war. No wars, no humans. It is in our condition as human beings – it is our need. We crave destruction. We seek chaos. It’s in us. We need war to move us. Because, quite simply, we are the war. Without it, what would we do? Who would we be? That’s why there is fascination with it. That’s why there’s so much admiration. War is the stars of the most political. And the stars are the war of the most romantic.”
“So, by that logic, love is the war of the most philosophical.”
Kakashi looked at you with confusion expressed in his eye. The various and infinite stars reflected in Kakashi’s gaze showed that, in fact, he had not understood the use of your words.
Why did you decide to grab love out of nowhere?
Why did you decide to bring that taboo into the middle of a conversation that was so special to both of you?
Why?
You noticed the confusion in Kakashi’s lack of reaction. You realized that there must be doubt in your captain’s thoughts. Looking at Kakashi, it was easy to decipher the confusion he felt and you were intrigued, fascinated even.
“Do you really think that it is only war that moves the world?”
Kakashi opened his mouth but you didn’t know.
Kakashi closed his mouth again and you didn’t even notice.
In your captain’s mind, that last conversation he had with his father began to replay endlessly. Sakumo’s words came up whenever that dangerous topic was brought up – it seemed that Sakumo’s cheap philosophies tormented Kakashi until that day.
But it wasn’t always like that – no.
From the moment Kakashi met you, Sakumo’s haunting finally ceased.
There was no need to understand love because, quite simply, and even though he didn’t know it, Kakashi was experiencing that feeling so strong, so true. There was no need to recall a conversation that tried to explain something he was feeling, even though he couldn’t decipher that specific something.
Therefore, for several years, Sakumo’s words that were imbued with understanding and affection had been forgotten, completely erased from Kakashi’s memory.
No. Wrong. The words were still there, safe, inside Kakashi’s heart.
And it only took your question, your question so similar to Sakumo’s question, to free the words and torment Kakashi again.
“Kashi?”
You let out a laugh.
Kakashi certainly knew there was something more than war. He positively knew that not everything was destruction or contempt in this world. He had to know there was beauty and hope. He had to know that there was something good in this world. Kakashi had to know all this – right?
“Love?”
The word burned in Kakashi’s mouth, his melancholic eye locked in your eyes, the reflection of the universe trapped in your fingertips.
“Love.”
Your response came with a real, genuine smile. Your eyes showed a light and tenuous sadness while a tiny hope threatened to collapse at any moment.
You spoke like love itself. Delicate and light, your lips pronounced that word with precision and extreme ease.
You spoke like love itself. Your smile was genuine and embellished by the infinite stars, painted by the cool night breeze. Your eyes were sad, scared and fearful of the drastic change of an event, of a feeling.
You spoke like love itself. You spoke in a mix of emotions that were foreign to Kakashi, a thick ball of feelings and memories was trapped in your expression and made Kakashi feel confused.
You spoke like love itself, but Kakashi could only speak like war.
Kakashi spoke like war itself. Without any feeling, afraid of what his lips could utter, scared of the strength of the word itself.
Kakashi spoke like war itself. His every word and thought was completely calculated by him, no mistake to be uttered by Kakashi, the doubt that escaped his lips bringing a bit of wisdom.
Kakashi spoke like war itself. Kakashi spoke knowing perfectly well what awaited him, he spoke knowing perfectly well the answer to his question.
And between war and love there was a brief moment of silence. A moment of tranquility brought by the infinite stars.
Between war and love there was a moment of serenity that was heard only by your careful breathing, your gaze locked on each other, your smile slowly fading as time passed.
Love.
Was that the answer to his father’s question? No. It couldn’t be something so simple like that – but there was no such thing as simplicity in love.
“Love.”
Kakashi said his statement again, allowing a fragile and invisible line to escape his mask and take with it the bruning of that word.
There was something comforting in your gaze, something soothing in the way you held the blanket tight to you. There was something serene in the way you rested your legs on Kakashi’s, something welcoming in the way you and him stood together under that starry sky.
“Love” – Kakashi never found it easier to pronounce that word.
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Days without you were boring.
Everyone knew that whenever you were on a mission without being on Kakashi’s team, he would roam the streets of the village like he used to do before he met you. Everyone knew that, for Kakashi, days without you simply didn’t make sense, not when you and he had already become fully accustomed to each other’s presence.
And that day wasn’t much different from the others.
Kakashi walked through the streets calmly. His feet shuffled without any energy, one of his hands sheltered in his pants pocket, the other holding a book close to his face.
Kakashi didn’t pay attention to what he was reading or where he was walking. Having already read and reread that book so many times, having already walked those streets countless times, Kakashi didn’t need to pay attention – because something else occupied his mind.
Your mission was somewhat complicated and you left with a good team, yes. But Kakashi couldn’t trust them, not when your integrity could be at risk – Kakashi could only worry about you.
A melancholy trail was left by Kakashi’s short and relaxed steps.
His eyes read and reread the same page over and over as his mind wandered to so many possible scenarios that could happen to you.
How he hated being away from you at a scary time like that.
Kakashi had been your team captain enough times for him to know you knew how to take care of yourself. But you were also distracted and that was what bothered Kakashi. A distraction from you, an ambush from them, a misfortune from the universe – everything seemed plausible when he was away from you.
He just wanted to be with you, to hear from you, to know that you were okay. He had to be with you.
But regardless of whether or not you managed to get home safe and sound, Kakashi spent his days monotonously without you by his side.
Even though Guy continued to make his occasional appearances, enticing Kakashi into meaningless duels; even though Naruto and Sakura could fill a fragment of the void you created; even though he knew you would be back next week, the reality is that Kakashi simply couldn’t live the days in your absence.
Not since that night under the starry sky. Not when the confession of a love came out disguised in a novice and somewhat shaky pronunciation.
What could Kakashi do? Just wandering around the village without your company. Just wishing every day was shorter than the last. Just peacefully wait for your arrival.
“Today I received my words!”
Naruto was always so loud.
Kakashi lazily looked up from his book and watched Naruto talk excitedly to Sakura and Shikamaru. The smiles they shared with each other were big, contagious, as if enticing Kakashi to also let out a small smile.
“Hinata is my soulmate!”
“I got mine during the war. It was Ino who noticed,” Sakura let out a small laugh as she recalled her chaotic reactions when she discovered that Sasuke was, in fact, the man the universe had destined for her. “What about you, Shikamaru?”
“Nothin’.”
A small sigh escaped Shikamaru’s lips and brought with it the hope of not having to worry about a soulmate anytime soon.
“What about you, Kakashi-sensei?”
“I don’t pay attention to that.”
A shrug was enough to direct the conversation back to Shikamaru.
But Kakashi kept thinking. Without realizing it, all the younger’s’ speeches were obstructed with the thought that, perhaps, Kakashi had already received his words.
It was true that Kakashi avoided looking at his wrist – since that night, the mere thought of love scared him.
Once, Kakashi simply didn’t care about something as trivial as love. The mere thought of such a feeling brought only haunting of long, uninteresting conversations with his father. But now, after that night, there was fear in the feeling. There was an extra fear that burned in Kakashi’s heart when he allowed himself the luxury of thinking about something as dangerous as love.
Ever since that night, the mere thought of love scared Kakashi because, quite simply, Kakashi couldn’t imagine that word without picturing you.
And Kakashi blamed you. Yes, you. You were the bringer of Kakashi’s destruction. Because, since that night, Kakashi really started to see the world differently. And he blamed you. He blamed that word. He blamed all the stars.
But had any mark already been engraved on his wrist?
Leaving conversations and laughter behind, Kakashi returned home.
A single goal was stuck in his mind. A single need ran through his heart. A single feeling moved Kakashi. Love.
The four walls of Kakashi’s room had never felt as cozy as they did at that moment.
It was the end of the day.
The last rays of sunlight were lost in Kakashi’s room. Shades of gold and hope burned fiercely in the three frames that rested delicately on his little furniture. Your face and Kakashi’s were adorned with light celestial tones from the last ray of sunlight, enhancing the joy and comfort that that photograph brought to Kakashi.
Night fell so quickly that it didn’t even give the sun a chance to warm Kakashi’s room.
It was cold.
The proud and bright moon contrasted with the weakness of that night, the stars taking the night off to give the various and diverse clouds their turn to shine.
There was darkness and there was cold.
In the midst of that discomfort, Kakashi looked for some warmth in his wrists.
His right wrist had nothing on it – the pale skin brought a bit of disappointment to him.
But there was still hope. There was still a second chance.
Cautiously taking off his left glove, Kakashi saw a single word shining in the moonlight.
‘Almost’.
Almost?
Kakashi’s mouth opened slightly on impulse as his eyes repeatedly read and reread that single word that was carved into his wrist.
How long had it been there? How long ago did fate decide to steal you from him? Almost? Why ‘almost’? Hadn’t his confession that night been enough for you? Wouldn’t the vulnerability with which he uttered and repeated that forbidden word have been enough for both of you? Almost. Almost? Why? Could he have done something? Could he have done nothing?
A wave of corruption completely washed away any and all hope Kakashi might have had. The curiosity that once drove Kakashi’s gestures was entirely replaced by regret and frustration.
Could he go back? Could he do something to change that word?
Surely if you arrived and he confessed everything he wanted and felt for you, maybe you would reciprocate his words.
No. Not ‘maybe’. Kakashi was sure there was reciprocity. That night left no doubt. The way you two spoke, the way you looked at each other, the way you pronounced the forbidden word.
Yes. There was definitely still a little hope, even if it was small. And Kakashi knew, as years of war had taught him, that hope would always be the last to die. Surely the same applied to love. Right? – you said it yourself: love is the war of the most philosophical.
Yes. Hope.
‘Almost’ wasn’t the word Kakashi had chosen to dictate his fate, no. It was ‘hope’.
 Clinging to that small flame that had quickly lit in Kakashi’s heart, he watched the remaining days pass slowly and wistfully.
Kakashi just wanted you to come back as soon as possible. He just wanted to cheat fate once and for all and grab the happiness he had been so deprived of. Would it be too much to ask?
‘Almost’. Pathetic.
‘Almost’. Of course it wasn’t almost – Kakashi would never allow it to be ‘almost’.
And when you arrived, Kakashi carried the war with him – he was determined to change his destiny, even though he was scared. There was determination in his steps, Kakashi’s eyes so empty conveying a bit of uncertainty, of fear, of regret in actions he should have done long ago.
Waiting for you for so long only gave Kakashi permission to think, to ponder all the opportunities that were missed by him in fear of a confession made of decent words – he could make a list of all the waste that was lost.
The ‘almost’ was right.
Years passed – Kakashi should have known better. He had so many books about it, he should have known better. It wasn’t enough to just say a complicated word. It was not enough to just feel a complex feeling. Kakashi had to show – and Kakashi never showed.
But now Kakashi was determined to change that. Kakashi was determined to change his destiny.
Just like war, Kakashi came to you without any warning.
Just like war, Kakashi caught you unnoticed in a spontaneous embrace of longing and nostalgia. It was rare for Kakashi to express his love, but you couldn’t deny that it was something that always made you smile.
You hugged Kakashi back, your arms fitting perfectly around his body, the way his strong arms squeezed you in a comforting embrace making you more relaxed. Although you had already arrived at the village two days ago, it was at that moment that you truly felt at home.
“How’s the mission?”
That wasn’t the question Kakashi wanted to ask – it wasn’t what he had rehearsed.
But you started a long, drawn-out monologue about all the ups and downs of that mission that lasted almost two weeks. A rollercoaster of emotions was reported by you as Kakashi listened attentively to every word out of your mouth.
And, while he listened to you, he looked intently at your arms.
Kakashi’s empty eyes searched for tattoos made by the stars. The curiosity to know your fate was what moved Kakashi’s eyes and forced him to look at your body.
Until finally he saw it.
‘It was close’.
It was close?
What absurd words had fate given you? It didn’t make sense.
Was it close that you didn’t end up with Kakashi? Was it close that you fell into someone else’s love trap? What did those words mean? What did they mean in a vast sea of ​​possibilities?
“And I got my tattoo on the way here.”
You extended your arm and gave Kakashi permission to read your mark better.
‘It was close’.
“I was confused by what it meant. But it made sense when I found…”
“Him?”
Him.
Kakashi knew who you were talking about.
You didn’t need to confess names or draw portraits with your words. Kakashi always knew who you were talking about, because he was the one you loved before you met Kakashi, and he was the one you loved during the early days of your friendship with Kakashi.
“Yea.”
The smile you let out reminded Kakashi of love: shy and so happy, a hint of accomplishment displayed in the beautiful curves of your lips, a sense of comfort trapped in your confession.
Love.
Damn you.
“He walk with me to the village and is staying here. Today we’re going to our first date.”
And that’s when Kakashi realized – no one could change their destiny.
With a fake smile and forced curiosity, Kakashi allowed you to nail long, painful barbs into his heart, erasing any hope he still had left, completely staining the forbidden word for Kakashi.
With a fake smile and tears trapped in his eyes, Kakashi allowed your happiness to flood his darkness, little stars of your joy faintly painting Kakashi’s pain.
Because, yes. Despite everything, Kakashi was happy.
Even though he would be happier with you, Kakashi was happy for you.
You overflowed with love.
Extreme happiness wrapped in a film of euphoria delicately filled your room. Your eyes shone with the emotion of a love about to be lived. Your wide smile managed to be contagious, even though Kakashi didn’t want to smile.
You were the embodiment of love.
You were hope and comfort from the first day he met you and he hated you for it.
Kakashi hated you because he knew he would never be able to find someone who had as much of an impact as you did. He would never be able to find someone who made the word ‘love’ mean as much as you did.
It was the way you spoke so happily about each other. It was the way you still cared about Kakashi like you still liked him. It was your own way of being.
You were kindness and simplicity hidden behind a strong sphere of complexity.
You were, undeniably, love.
And the conversation that night never made as much sense as it did at that moment.
In Kakashi’s realization, in the midst of all the suffering caused by you, you continued to move Kakashi. The way you still made Kakashi eager to see you. The way your company was still, and always would be, crucial to Kakashi. The way he still loved you after you caused him so much anguish.
You have always been the personification of the word love. And, just like the feeling itself, it was you who moved Kakashi’s world.
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♡ feedback is always welcomed ♡
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t0msvi4gra · 3 months ago
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Plsss write a tom step daddy fanfic. And the plot is that the readers mom is a bitch and always treated her badly/abused her. One day her mom marries tom and he becomes her new step dad. The reader is like (18) and tom (29). Since the reader despises her mom she wants to take revenge and fucks around with her husband. (smut and everything/ they do it secretly whenever mom leaves and Tom says stuff like "you're my dirty little secret") IF U WRITE IT MY LIFE WOULD BE SO FULFILLED I'VE NEVER SEEN A STEPFATHER/DAUGHTER FANFIC HERE AND I NEED ITTTT
this is so so so hot
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MY SECRET | TOM KAULITZ X FEMREADER
IM BACK GUYSSSSSSS
warnings: daddy name calling, cheating, degrading, praise
youre mom and dad had a huge argument about her cheating on him which had lead to your dad leaving. your mom had full custody of you so you couldnt really see your dad.
ever since your stepdad moved in, you hated him. you griped about how he was trying to replace your father and how he let your mom cheat knowing she was married. but you found him so hot. you could see why your mom saw him.
but it wasnt just your dad that she mistreated, she also mistreated you. she was an alcoholic and she constantly made you do everything.
your mom had to go to work the next day and you had a party to go to. you were wearing, stockings, a short skirt, and a long sleeve low cut top with some heels.
you woke up and picked out all your outfit and got ready. you grab your phone and your bag and you go downstairs, surprisingly tom was sitting on the couch watching whatever and he notices you heading out the door.
“where you think your going dressing like that?” he says getting up.
“im going to my boyfriends birthday party is that a problem?” you say throwing your hands up. “boyfriend? hm well go change them we can talk about it.” he says giving you a little push to go to your room. “dont touch me.” you say shrugging him off. “then go change… or ill have to rip these clothes off of you and make you change.” he says grabbing your waist. “ew! get off of me!” you try to push away, you really did secretly find him hot, you always wondered what it was like to fuck him. “dont lie to me, youve wanted me. the way you purposely bend over to reveal your pussy to me. ive heard you with your little vibrator wishing it was me.” he says as he cups you through your panties.
“youre so wet right now… we wouldnt want your mom to find out now would we?” he pulls you to your bedroom, closing the door and locking it, shoving you on the bed.
“flip over, ass up.” he says unbuckling his jeans. he rips your panties off and lifts up your skirt. his cock pointing at your entrance. “this is for being such a little slut.” he enters you slowly.
“what if my mom finds out?” you say whimpering a little. “shh she wont, youre my dirty little secret hm?” he says clamping his hand over your mouth.
he pounds into you grabbing your hair and pulling it as he takes you from behind. your moans muffle against his mouth.
“thats a good fucking girl. fuck yes youre so much tighter than your mom. she could never compare.” he chuckles as he fucks you raw.
“so much better than that little boy you hang with? answer me!” he says pounding harder, uncovering your mouth. you nod. he spanks you hard, “ use your words. i want to hear you.” he groans as you speak. “youre so much better than the boys i hang out with. bigger cock.. bi- im gonna cum daddy..” you whimper as you feel his cock slam against your cervix. “just a few more seconds babygirl.” he says as reaches around to rub your clit.
“daddy! i really need to cum! please!” you cry out as you squirt and cum all over your bedsheets. he releases his huge load inside of you as he slows down.
“now..” he says catching his breath. “forget about that party, let me hold you.” he says laying down, pulling you into his arms.
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gayelderstourney · 1 year ago
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OLD MAN YAOI BRACKET ROUND 1
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Propaganda:
Gerald Robotnik/Black Doom:
Scientist who wants to blow up the world and his evil alien boyfriend
Dude they had a son together and his name is shadow the hedgehog
They created Shadow the hedgehog together. Yes Shadow the hedgehog. This is canon. Theyre also super divorced just trust me on this.their old man yaoi is real
we as a society would not have shadow the hedgehog without their old man yaoi
old man fucks alien so he can bring his daughter back from space safely, gives birth to sad gay hedgehog
you KNOW they fucked
they’re shadow the hedgehogs dads. Like canonically. black doom is an alien god guy and gerald is eggmans grandpa who didn’t love him enough and gave him daddy issues. he also went insane after the government killed his granddaughter (who he loved instead of eggman) and tried to kill humanity :3 these two are like bitter exes to me. they’re both dead. the devil from the bible fucked that old man
Black Doom and Gerald Robotnik are Shadow the Hedgehogs dads. Gerald is a (silly, slightly insane) old scientist and Black Doom is a two thousand year old alien who wants to destroy the Earth. Its not canon but Shadow's gay dads mean everything to me. They kiss and hold hands on the space colony.
IM DOING MY PART!!! GERALDOOM SWEEP BAYBEEEEEEE!!! GO SHADOW’S GAY DADS!
Sheo/The Nailsmith:
It's really nice because you unlock it after the nailsmith asks you to kill him with the pure nail and you refuse and walk away. He then says he was wandering hallownest without purpose until he found sheo who helped him discover that there was more to life than just one calling. These two are probably the only characters in the game to have a genuinely happy ending
The nailsmith loses his purpose in life after finishing his ultimate masterpiece, his lifelong goal, the pure nail. He requests the protagonist to try the nail on him, but If you refuse, he will find sheo who helps him to find new meaning in life and realise that there is more to life by teaching him different crafts. They can then be seen sculping figurines together, and sheo is also painting the nailsmith.They share a common love for art and crafts and inspire each other. Sheo's story is that he was a nailmaster, but got tired of it, and put down his nail to pick up a paintbrush. I think it's beautiful that he could help the nailsmith realise what he himself did. They both also used to live in solitude without even realising how lonely they were, and I think it's cute tuhat they can do art together now :]
They are two bugs retired from their career and making better lives for themselves and they’re gay about it. Nailsmith believes at first that he has nothing left after creating the perfect nail and asks the knight to strike him down, and if you don’t, he meets Sheo, a retired nailmaster finding a new calling in painting and sculpting. They find a shared love in creating things and Nailsmith finds a new calling in art as well. The achievement you get for uniting them is called “Happy Couple”
Gay bugs gay bugs gay bugs (Cw mention of suicide) They both used to pursue their one passion in life: forging the perfect nail (sword) for the Nailsmith and the art of combat for Sheo. Sheo realized he could just leave that life when he lost his passion for fighting, and he found himself a new purpose in life: art. However, he always seemed very lonely, completely isolated by all other bugs in his hidden house in the middle of a thorn jungle. When The Nailsmith achieved his goal and forged the perfect nail, he lost his purpose in life and his will to live. He asks the player to kill him. However, if the player refuses, he can later be found in Sheo's house, modelling for Sheo or sculpting figurines with him. He thanks the player for not fulfilling his request, because he has found a new calling in life here, making art together with Sheo. They both express how happy they are to no longer be alone. This also gives you the "Happy Couple" achievement, confirming that they are a couple.
THEY'RE CANON!!! They're fucking canon!!! You can talk to them at one point after doing a Bunch of Stuff to get them to meet each other and you get an achievement called "Happy Couple"!!! Gotta love old man yuri
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simpjaes · 17 days ago
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i became a fan of enha in july. i found milf hunt fic wip in july. i have been waiting for this ever since i got into jay. u dont know what u just did for me. its crazy.
im just thinking of pregnant milf reader and jay as her new husband, loving her newer curves and bigger tits. just like when he used to let the neighbours assume more about his relationship with her, he does the same things. drinks coffee in the patio by the pool with a newspaper in hand. when they do shopping in their town, he has a hand on her hip as she walks, proudly showing off his employer turned wife. The rumours spread by the other women proved to be true, he is her husband. he pounds into her wet pussy every night, he drinks from her leaky tits. He fixes her fence, changes her light bulb, takes care of the little girl who calls him “dad”, he whispers to her swollen belly, builds the new baby a crib. buys matching clothes for their daughter and his child. he proudly shows off to the women he used to work for, that instead of boys his age struggling in tiny apartments with big boy jobs, he can stay lavishly finishing college with building a family checked off his list. his wife gets him to a big boy job too so she can rest with the upcoming birth.
he truly is the absolute trophy husband 🎀 our trophy husband
- noona anon
TROPHY HUSBAND IS THE EXACT. MAN. MH JAY IS!!!! you are also his trophy wife too tho.
me gushing about MH aftermath:
like, you make enough money to take care of him through college, even enough to take time off work during pregnancy etc, he would absolutely be the house husband while you're the money maker. I personally see him dropping out tho, ngl. Like living the full life of being a house husband, maybe getting paid to do odd jobs around the neighborhood like "ooooo can you fix my fence too Jay?" and "Ahhhhh, can you clean my pool like that?"
but ofc, it would still be classy wives tryna get his ass all sweaty and sexy for them to ogle at and he'd always come to you like "Babe, why do i feel like they're bitching me out?" and you'd probably snort, eating the craving food he's bought for your a million times by now like "Well, look at you."
You'd not be super jealous or toxic, even based on your history bc of who jay is, and how he treats you. He's cleaning some lonely wife's pool and he'll just talk about you every time she approaches him. like, example:
"Jayyyy, oh you cleaned it so well, would you like to come inside f-"
"yeah, my WIFE says I'm pretty good at this." and "haha, i should be getting home to my PREGNANT HOT SEXY WIFE"
[there's still the eventual option of him getting a big boy job, but for now i think his sole purpose in life that he wants to fulfill is being a dad. he'd not go back to school or get a big boy job until the kids are in school.]
He would definitely flaunt tho. He'd still likes the attention from other women of course, but for a different reason now, sometimes even seeing the women around town who did get to touch on him back before he landed you and always making damn sure they know what they're missing out on. Hand on your back, lovingly guiding you through the grocery store, kissing on you before you go to work in the morning. SUPER PDA from him. ABSOLUTELY on the porch with coffee like a fucking DAD too. that's the cutest fucking image omfg.
would throw BBQs, and you'd invite all of your friends and they'd snicker and whisper with you over how lucky you are to land such a hottie boy-toy. and you'd always correct them with a narrowed eye like "That's my husband, not a boy-toy" and he'd prove it every time ;-; making the best goddamn bbq in the city, playing with your kids and all the others, making all the ladies super jealous that their husbands are too "manly" to play dolls or dress up with the kids, or sword figh the little boys in a fuckin' tutu [bc jay would absolutely do that, wants to make all the kids have a good time when they're in his well-maintained yard]
Even more jealous that Jay does all the house work, cooks, cleans, parents, runs errands etc. he does everything they do for their own husbands, and MORE. The way you glow and flush when they ask about your sex life, phew, boy, they know Jay's gotta be a fuckin' maniac or something in bed.
NOT TO MENTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you'd be so so so pregnant.... jay would just, like, constantly be so so horny.
always touching on you, always massaging the pain away and trying to contain his cock because he neeeeeeeeeeeds youuu. def sucks your tits every night, esp when you start lactating KJFHSDKJFDS and you're like "ewwww jay that's so gross" all playfully, but his mouth always soothes your sore tits, and he wouldn't care anyway. he loves his mama, fr. loves even more when she stops calling him "Jay" or "Jongseong" all the time and refers to him as daddy in bed.
whispers to your belly all the time, rubbing it, takes you to every doctor's appointment, buys you everything you need [albeit with your credit card lmfao] for real just drops EVERYTHING FOR YOU at any given moment.
And there is a part in the fic where he fantasizes about you waking up every morning filled with his warm cum. He'd do that too, pregnant or not. Condoms are a fucking NO-NO in this house [for now], at least until you've had a third, even then he'd have to get snipped or you'd go on birth control bc there is no way in hell he's not gonna at least pretend to constantly get you pregnant. Jay wants a big family, you only wanted 2. But you've come to the agreement that if you want to have at least one more pregnancy, he will still be here, and he will be doing all of the work outside of carrying the baby.
also, second child is a boy. imagine jay glowing just as much as you are when he finds out.
man, im so soft for him. this is a mess, i just choked out every single thought of milf hunt husband jay all in one go and like, there's more in this broken ass brain of mine too,
for instance, how he asks you to marry him, where you get married, how is family reacts, how your ex husband reacts, your daughter + jay interaction, the birth and him absolutely fainting in the delivery room, how his friends act when they find out what he's been doing etc
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panicroomsammy · 1 year ago
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Okay while I’m thinking about John and that one post that’s been going around about “‘John taught Dean that boys don’t cry’ is incorrect” here’s my two cents: John did teach Dean to emotionally behave the way he does. Not on purpose and not by example, but accidentally through parentification. Parents of parentified children can themselves be in tune with their emotions and can want their children to be emotionally open, but through the process of emotionally leaning on their children and relying on them to fulfill their emotional needs such children learn to repress their own emotions. I am currently reading John’s journal and lines like this
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are glaring examples of parentification. John isn’t doing it on purpose though! He just needs someone to talk to and the only person to talk to his his eight year old son. He may even think that by talking to Dean about his feelings he is teaching Dean that that’s what people do, but talking to kids like this can do the opposite. Dean learns that he has to be there for his dad emotionally, and by default that means that his own emotions are put on the back burner. The way that Dean prioritizes John’s emotions over his own is exemplified here:
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On the anniversary of his mother’s death six year old Dean saw that his father was upset and went to comfort him instead of the other way around. He’s being taught to ignore his own emotions not out of malice or gender roles but because his parent is depending on him so out of necessity he puts his feelings aside.
What this translates to as an adult is what we see in the show in Dean’s reluctance to talk about how he feels with Sam who is constantly trying to get Dean to talk to him. After hell Dean doesn’t want to tell Sam about it and burden him with knowing what Dean did. Where I’m at currently in season 10 Dean doesn’t want to acknowledge that the mark may still be affecting him because that’s his problem. Anything that Dean considers to be his own problem he refuses to talk about because he defaults to taking care of other people’s emotional needs first. He didn’t learn that sometimes other people’s emotional needs are taking care of his emotional needs the way that a non-parentified child would learn from a parent who fulfills their emotional needs by taking care of their child.
John isn’t evil. He isn’t some paragon of toxic masculinity. He was just a human man in a bad situation who made mistakes that influenced his children into adulthood.
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lokiondisneyplus · 1 year ago
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Warning: This story contains spoilers for the Loki season 2 finale, "Glorious Purpose."
Loki ends with its titular god claiming his throne — just not the one he expected.
The Marvel Disney+ show concluded its second season this week, seemingly saying goodbye to Tom Hiddleston's Loki. In an effort to stop the universe from collapsing in on itself, Loki learns to control his "time-slipping," using it to go back further and further in time. With help from Sylvie (Sophia Di Martino), Mobius (Owen Wilson), and O.B. (Ke Huy Quan), he tries again and again to fix the TVA's temporal loom and prevent a meltdown. But every time he goes back, he fails, and he spends literal centuries reliving the same events over and over.
Eventually, Loki admits defeat and chooses to sacrifice himself to save every universe. Walking toward the temporal loom, he grabs the very fabric of space-time and uses it to build a throne of his own, weaving the threads together to create a tree. (It's a nod to the legendary world tree Yggdrasil from Norse mythology.) With that, Loki essentially crowns himself master of the multiverse, watching over every timeline as a lonely god. It's the ultimate selfless act from one of Marvel's most notorious villains — a villain who once sicced an alien invasion on New York to get his dad's attention.
Here, executive producer Kevin Wright breaks down the series' emotional finale — from the throwback line that Hiddleston improvised to whether this is really the end for Loki.
ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: When did you decide this was how you wanted Loki's story to end?
KEVIN WRIGHT: I think we knew in season 1. Once we were going to do a season 2, we knew that Loki would end up on the throne. That was always the easy thing. The question was: How do you want that to feel for the audience? There's a version that's triumphant and super heroic. There's a version where it's an evil turn. But it was always about the emotional journey we wanted people to go on. It was about building that journey to be as cathartic as possible and to feel like a payoff for six movies and 12 episodes over 12 years with this guy. It was always about building that arc to be as fulfilling as possible.
Most of the episode is dedicated to this sort of time loop, where we see Loki trying over and over again to get things right and fix the loom, almost in a Groundhog Day kind of situation. What was fun about getting to do that endless loop?
Even in season 1, we always wanted to do a Run Lola Run thing, but there was never space for it. So once we started going into loops this season in the writing process, we thought, "Oh, let's finally do it." So much of that is total credit to Paul Zucker, the editor of the episode. That montage wasn't scripted per se. We knew Loki was going to be rerunning things, but it wasn't written exactly the way that it played.
A really fun thing, though, was that our cast — outside of Tom — had no idea what we were doing. They understood that he was rerunning time, but we shot a very different ending to episode 4 that was not the real ending. All the cast thought something very different would happen. We would send them away on lunch breaks, and Tom would take his lunch later, and he would just keep shooting with [directors Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead] with a skeleton crew. There were very few people that fully understood what we were building in that finale. So, for that core team, I think there was a lot of satisfaction when everybody was able to sit down and see how it came together. It just felt like this little secret.
What do you remember most about watching Tom film those final scenes?
Two moments really jump to mind. The first is a little bit of a longer story. There's the scene with He Who Remains, and that was scripted one way. We had this fear, like, "Is this going to feel like we're retreading the same ground as season 1?" Would it be fulfilling? We started shooting one day, and anybody in any creative field will understand this: There are days where the words are right, they way you're doing it is right, but it's just not adding up. Something was missing. We knew we weren't nailing it, and I had to make the call. That is really scary, when your first AD just wants to keep moving, and I said we were going to stop shooting.
Tom went and sat down with our script supervisor and basically did this insane crash course in 30 minutes of every line that had been said on the whole series. Then, he went for a run around the lot at Pinewood [Studios], and when he came back, he was like, "I know what this needs to be now." Then, he and Jonathan worked out what it was going to be, and they sat down with Justin and Aaron and me and Katie Blair, our production writer. They just quickly rewrote this new scene and shot it. It was just the pinnacle of what Tom does. He has such a finger on the pulse of this entire series and how that scene had to go. In a moment, he was able to reconfigure it with all of our collaborators.
The other thing is that final line before he steps out toward the loom, which is the Thor line, which was not scripted. Right before we were going to shoot that, Tom came and pitched it to me, like, "Should we do this?" We were like, "God, why did we not write that?" It was perfect, and it was 100 percent Tom.
I wanted to ask about that line, where Loki turns to Sylvie and Mobius and says he has to do this "for you, for all of us." It's a direct throwback to one of his lines in the original 2011 Thor. So that was a Tom Hiddleston improvisation?
It was 100 percent Tom. We had already done a few takes of the first part of that line, which was, "I know what kind of god I need to be." And on the final take, Tom said, "Hey, can I try this?" As soon as he said it, all of us were like, "This is going to be the take." It almost gave me Truman Show vibes, that final sign-off, looking straight down the camera. But that story gets to the heart of how Tom is always trying to make things better. We just had to build a series that could give him the framework to have those creative pivots. Everyone would just kind of throw their hands up and say, "Geez, this is why this guy is fantastic."
With Loki in charge of the multiverse, this could affect how (and if) we might see Jonathan Majors' Kang the Conqueror in future Marvel projects. For you, where does this finale leave Kang and his future in the MCU?
I'm going to tread probably infuriatingly lightly, but for me — and I know all the filmmakers agree — we think everything is there on screen. I think all the details are there, and there is a lot that people haven't picked up on, or haven't fully understood what is being said. The key to the future is in that conversation with Sylvie, and this doesn't necessarily undo any of those threats. In my mind, it's what Sylvie said: "At least give us a chance. Let us fight that battle for ourselves and define our own destiny."
I also wanted to ask about that final shot of Mobius in Ohio, where he's standing there silently, watching time pass. Why was that the right ending for Mobius?
In the big picture of the show, we wanted this to feel like a real ending. We wanted to give closure on a number of things, and we didn't want to do anything that felt like it was just teeing up a new story. But you could plant new seeds that could become new stories. My feeling with that scene in Ohio is that it's Mobius overcoming a personal obstacle. He just had to go and look. The show is not telling you whether he's going to stay there, or whether he's going to go back to the TVA. I think both are possibilities. But the important thing was the character growth of him going to do the thing he has been avoiding. I think it took what Loki did to cause Mobius to go, "I have this opportunity. This opportunity was given to me by Loki. The least I can do is go."
So that being said, is this the end for Loki? Is this a season finale, or is it a series finale?
I'm thinking of it kind of like a comic run, and this is the end of that comic run. I know [head writer Eric Martin] has said this a lot: These two seasons were two chapters of the same book, and we wanted to close the book. That was a challenge from Owen in between seasons: He was like, "Nobody has the courage to close the book! Let's close the book!"
Again, I speak for myself and not Marvel, but I am certainly pitching ideas of where I could see certain stories going. I think there are a lot of stories you can tell at the TVA, and we are just scratching the surface on that. I would love to see more stories with Loki, and I think Tom would continue to play this character until he is Richard E. Grant's Classic Loki [laughs]. But I don't think that means you need to have this story every year or every two years. It's about doing it when we have a good story to tell. I would love to keep working with these filmmakers.
We built a really awesome team, and if Loki is Breaking Bad, maybe there's a way for this team to keep telling stories with our version of Better Call Saul — whether that's with Sylvie, with the TVA, or with a new Loki. But we only want to do that if we have the right story and it can be just as fulfilling as this one. After all, you can't be the God of Stories if you're not going to tell more stories.
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gor3rri · 8 months ago
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💭ARRANGED TOGETHER
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❕PAIR❕: (! husband!) Im Changkyun X Reader (!wife!)
❕GENRE❕: Realistic, Romantic, deep, Fluff-smut, !unprotected sex!raw!cum eating, grabbing!
❕SUMMARY❕: You find yourself in the pov of your husband, Im Changkyun. He’s good just like a normal husband material but thinks deeply of everything he does. Serious but a sweetheart. He fulfils all your wishes. He’s completely opposite to you. You’re an ambivert.
❕AUTHOR’S NOTE❕: This Context contains kissing , touchiness and etc. It’s a realistic way of looking through scenarios which might look real in future i.e it’s how he might behave if you were married to him in real life. It’s a little smutty which makes it appropriate for ages 18+.
❕DISCLAIMER ❕: English is not my first language so if you witness anything off while reading of spelling of punctuation, just know ㅠㅠThe context is just scripted and not meant to be taken seriously by anyone. It’s just for fun - ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES.
❕CONTEXT❕: MONSTA X members also mentioned (some areas) and y/n(you)- darling or often by her real name ; Im Changkyun - Kyun, Love, I.M, Danny etc.
❕WARNING❕: MINORS PLEASE KEEP AWAY CAUSE THIS DOES HAVE SENSITIVE CONTENT NOT TOO MUCH IN THE STARTING BUT DEEP WAY IN THERE.
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“Are you awake yet?”you asked your husband as you turn to his side of the bed, in a sleepy tone. You were restless because of yesterday. You’re a housewife but you spent most of the time helping Changkyun’s father in the Lab. His father is a famous known professor in Pohang-si , Postech University of Science and Technology. As a kid you did well in science and wanted to pursue it but unfortunately couldn’t get enough in finals and you gave up and made ur hobby ur job. You were a Science teacher in a school in Gwangju. So in your free time, you would help his father in research. You were more than qualified but only you couldn’t get in a good college and ended up as a teacher instead.
“Changkyun..? You said again in a sleepy tone while still in bed. You couldn’t find him at his side of the bed so you woke up and went to look for him. It was your day off today. Sunday of course. You were searching for him as you wanted to tell him something. You went downstairs to check. You couldn’t find him there so you also went ground floor. You guys had a ground floor pool and a small living room so basically the house was like 5 floors with a basement. You were at fourth floor which was a ground floor. You finally found him.
“Kyun-ssi?”you said slowly. As you say, he turned to you slowly. He had a book in his hand which he put down as he saw you. “Oh your awake?” He said while approaching you slowly. “You never rush. Is there something you want me to know?” He asked as he came close. “Kyun, good morning” you said. “Don’t tell me you just rushed downstairs to wish me morning. You were tired. Yesterday dad called me to tell you that you don’t need to rush in the work anymore. He’s thankful to you that you stayed the night in the lab, testing the samples. And so I didn’t wake you up.” He said as he looked into your eyes. “It’s my job. If I know stuff I can offer help. My family is more to me hence I don’t think I’ll be tired but he don’t need to thank me :)” you said while smiling and looking down. He went to the table to put the book back in the shelf. “I miss my parents so helping him made me happy. I can say I have two parents now.” You said while helping him. He then stopped what he was doing and look at you. “Do you miss your parents hm?” He asked you ,worrying about you. “I do”. you said while putting the last book in the shelf. “It’s decided, I’ll be taking you to Busan.” He said holding your hand. “Kyun, you’re busy and so am I? It’s okay you don’t need to. I just missed them. I can always call th-“ you were about to finish your sentence but he cut you up by saying “Y/N your stressed and you need relaxation, taking a week leave from work won’t be a problem plus, I hired a person who can do the work when I’m not at work, it’s all fine.” He said while holding your other hand.
You were once upset with your parents cause they didn’t let you think about your marriage. And they made the decision themselves without even considering your opinion. But seemed like you were married to a good person. Im Changkyun was a Biomedical engineer, owned three big Research Companies. He was qualified, rich and stable. He won’t let you pay for anything. He’s caring and loving. You never thought your arrange marriage would lead you two to fall for each other. For now you’re just caring towards each other. Love each other as well. You guys have known each other 70% out of 100% in these 1 year. Since you were upset, you forgot about their caring nature too. Why would a parent want their child to marry someone unknown. Changkyun’s parents and your parents knew each other well but you didn’t so that’s why you found it to be difficult for you to adjust in an arranged way. Hence you forgot about them. You accepted and realised your mistakes and decided to apologise to them.
“Y/N, get ready in some time. We’re leaving soon”said Changkyun. “Kyun..” you said slowly. “Hm?” He said while turning to your side. “What about you..? Us..? I don’t even spend my time with you..it’s been a year, we haven’t progressed..and mom (in law) was expecting us to be paren-“ he again cut you off. “Whenever you’re ready I’ll be as well. I don’t want you to worry about anyone anymore. As you say there’s a right time for everything to happen. It’s okay Y/N” he said while holding your hands “just get ready.” You nodded and went upstairs.
He made you breakfast this time. You didn’t knew that he already made breakfast. You were in a hurry to make breakfast so you bathed quickly but it turned out that he already did everything for you. Watered the plants, gave the food to the fishes in the pond and yes you two owned an aquarium since fishes made you feel happy and calm, cooked breakfast and put the clothes in laundry, almost everything. “Kyun..thank you” you said to him while he was plating the dishes. “If a wife can do things like taking care of everyone and being as grateful to us, a small gesture everyday and some help from my side wouldn’t cause harm right?” He said while smiling and looking at you. You kept looking at his eyes. “You came here to live the rest of your life with me at 22 years, and you thought I never felt you? We all love you and care for you okay? Just the way you do for all of us, in fact I can say that you work more than what all of us here do. I respect you, Y/N. He said while coming closer to you. “You’re talented and admirable, I do know that getting married to someone you don’t know properly could be hard but you made it smooth in just a year, darling.”
“Darling” you thought in your mind. How can someone be so good? Charming in both the ways- by nature and by looks as well. Usually people with good looks turn out to be cruel but him, his just so caring. He spoke less but his eyes says a lot about me. He called me by my name always but the way he used the word “darling” for me is just so.. I’m not flattered but it isn’t the word. It’s more than what I thought. He said he respects me. Men these days lose their temper and respect for women even when they do hard work but it seems like today’s the day __th[day]_____[month] and _____[year] , my perspective towards my husband changed. Getting to know that he loves me so much would always be my favourite feeling.
You hugged him and couldn’t say anything but it all was so self explanatory to him. “The food tastes amazing, Kyun.” You say while taking a bite out of the steak he made for you. “This is just what I could serve to you. We’re not late okay? Just chew your food properly.” He said wiping your lips with a tissue. “Oh oops” you say while holding the tissue he used. “Let me take care of you since you’re leaving your husband for a week cause I won’t be there” he said. “Your not staying?oh I forgot.” you say while taking a bite out of your food. “Mhm. I have to check on the companies whether they have shown any new information.” he said while taking his plate to the counter. “Im done, when you’re done, just keep the dishes on the counter. I’ll ask Ms. Shin to clean them because the dishwasher isn’t working due to some technical issues.” he said leaving the kitchen.
You put the dishes on the counter and waited for him downstairs with your bags. “Im here!” Said Changkyun. “Ready?” He said holding your bags. “Kyun it’s okay I can carry them since you did a lot for me already.” you say grabbing the bags. “Let me do my job, Im Y/N” he said taking them bags to the car. “Im Y/N, I love the way you call me by my full name, Im Changkyun!” You said in a little teasing tone. “Mmhm, my lady”
These little gestures he shows you is his best charm. Not too physical not too touchy. The words he uses are magical to you. Even the simplest word becomes as expensive as gold. “The car smells good” you said after getting in the passager’s seat. “It was the perfume I used haha” he said while taking the car keys. “Mason Margiella- burnt wood and whiskey 🥃 is what it smells like” you say while looking at him. “You seem to know what your husband smells like hm? Soo keeping everything aside, where’s your destination Mrs. Im?” He asked you teasingly. You chuckled and answered “oh please take your passanger to her Parents house.” “Of course, of course, fasten your seat belt, I don’t want you to get hurt.” He said while fastening the seat belt for you. “Thank you.” You said smiling at him.
AUTHOR : You guys then reach to the desired destination.
“Oh my my!” Said your mother you look so much healthy my baby! “Yea mom and I missed you guys, Im staying here for a week so that I can spend some time with you guys after I left in sorrow.” You say while hugging both of your parent. Changkyun saw the tears of happiness in your eyes and in your parents and he thought - “how much loving and caring could a person be? She’s the one for me, mature and perfect by nature and pretty by looks as well.” He was all in the thoughts 💭 then suddenly your dad say “Changkyun-ssi, I’m glad to hear that my daughter is in good hands, I’ll always be thankful to your parents for treating her as their own.” Said your father as he hugged Changkyun. “Oh no no, as we agreed to take the responsibility as promised we’re also doing our job, keeping Y/N happy and healthy, worry free.” He said while hugging back. “Oh dear, you guys are staying here, this makes my heart so much full.” As your mother said this, Changkyun replied “Im sorry to you Mr and Mrs. Yoo that I won’t be staying as I need to check on progress of my companies :), instead Y/N would fulfil my emptiness(presence) here” he said while holding your mother’s hand. “It’s okay dear, next time I want both of you to stay with us. That would make us more happy. But you’re a busy man and taking your time to drop my girl here, thank you.” Said your mother smiling to Changkyun. “No no it’s my job to see your daughter happy, my wife in fact.” He say while looking at your mom and then at you. “Come in for a while Changkyun.” Said your father. “Oh as I’m not staying here, I can at-least come in for coffee or tea.” Said Changkyun.
Your house was just like a normal big house. A little Japanese style, the structure with an open yard for meet up with guests. “Kyun?” You called him. “What do you want? Coffee or tea?” u asked him when suddenly your father interrupted “Whiskey! Haha my young man should try the Glenfiddich, a classic 12 year old” your dad said with a little laugh. “Dad it’s not the right time i-“ you said while looking at them and at Changkyun after. “Ohh I have had that one mhm” he said look at the bottle. “Kyun-“ you looked at him with an expression that stated - “it’s not right time kyun for whiskey 😭” he understood what you wanted to say then suddenly put the bottle aside. As he put that aside, he received an important call. “Dad maybe kyun’s busy so he might have to leave at the moment.” You say to your father and your father understands you. He said “mhm I have no problem, we still have time” he said patting you. “Thanks dad” you said whole hugging him. “I have to leave now Mr and Mrs. Yoo but I’m sure the next time I visit it’ll all be the whiskey 🥃” he said while holding your father’s hands. “Of course son! Let me help you out” he said and you all bid him a bye.
“Kyun!” You called him as he was gonna sit inside “wait-“ He stood there while holding the car door and you kiss him on his lips. He felt so good. He won’t describe it at the moment but surely will when you guys would be all alone together. He kissed you back and said in a low tone while holding your hands “I’ll be back soon, I miss you already..” he said while cupping your cheeks. “Take care, I’ll miss you, kyun” you said as he got in the car breaking the kiss.
AUTHOR : The time passed by and you were missing him so much to the extent that you almost teared up at times cause you felt that you left him alone at the house and how much he would miss you. He would call-text you when he was free but it wasn’t much like his actual presence. A week ended and it was finally when the time when he could kidnap you back lol. Im gonna skip the car part.
You arrived your home after a long time and seeing everything back again just made you happy. The scent of your own home just felt so good. Then you heard doorbell ring. You rush towards it cause you knew it might be your husband. “Y/N!” You said nothing but hug him. “Im sorry I couldn’t pick you up and you had to come here by yourself and even the driver wasn’t here today due to some personal reasons..” you said nothing still but just hug him. His scent was something you missed. Fresh roses and whiskey with burnt wood. That’s what he smelled like. Even after working too much, his scent never changed, it felt natural on him, his scent. Then you slowly let go the hug. “Changkyun Im” you said while looking close to his face. After what you just called him, he came closer to you as well while slowly throwing his blazer. “Keep looking at me like that and-“ you cut him off “didn’t you miss me?” You said after putting him in the MOOD and you backed up. “Miss dare to change the topic hm.” He said as he went to the couch and rested there. You turn back at him. “Now you kept me waiting like that you know how much I missed you?” He said while looking at you. “You called me by what earlier ?hm?” He then stood up and started walking towards you again. “Im actually glad someone else took you here or else I don’t know what would happen, I won’t even let us reach here by this time” he said teasingly. You became all red and nervous. It was all your fault that you set him in the mood and now you’re wanting to back up. It would be a big loss not to kiss a man who’s in the best mood. You knew he was not drunk but just sipped whiskey at work because he smelled like Ballentines and it secretly drove you crazy seeing him like that. Loose tie, white shirt and long silky hair with scent of Margiella was enough for you to surrender yourself.
You couldn’t believe you guys had an arrange marriage almost a year ago. “Y/N? Darling? You slept alone these days?” he said while going upstairs. “There was none to warm my side up.” You say while following him upstairs. “Aw” he said after reaching to the room door, he turned back to you. “Wash up, you might be tired from that travelling” he said while patting your head. He went to his office after saying but you had a feeling that you needed him so bad but he still seemed busy so you just interrupted him “Kyun~?”You called him, he turned back “hm?” he said starting at you. “Are you busy even in that kind of mood?” You asked him confidently. “What mood??” He said with a slight smirk and then continued walking towards his office room. Gosh it drived you crazy when your husband acted like that. You pouted and then went towards bathroom for a warm shower. You took 20 minutes for it and then came back out with a robe. When you entered your room, you saw your husband, arranging his clothes in the closet properly. You couldn’t help but stare at him. He caught you off guard. “Hm~? What’s something that Y/N is staring at?” He asked you while still putting his clothes back in the closet. “Im looking at Im Changkyun.” You say while moving to your closet. “Call me by my name again and I’ll show you what happens, darling” he said while looking at your eyes. You stopped and so did your heartbeat. “I wanted you so bad. Ever since I was there at my parents house. Couldn’t wait honestly but I saw your busy even after you came home from work. I’m not in a playful mood but I’m very serious about what im talking about.” You turned back at him and went towards his direction and you added on “Love, when you call me with nicknames, it drives me crazy. That I want you with me. Near me.” You said looking at his eyes. Not even realising how honest you were, you stopped. “Is that what my darling thinks about me? Just want me? What else?? I’m curious” he said while cupping your cheeks. “Kyun, are you really okay with me behaving like this all of a sudden.” You said and then he added “didn’t you notice me earlier? I behaved the same and you didn’t seem to have a problem as well. Even if I wasn’t like that and you asked me the same question, I wouldn’t hate it.” He said, then you added “I missed you besides me during night time”. This time as you spoke, he just said nothing but stare at your lips. Your lips, bare lips drove him crazy, he couldn’t resist your behaviour and lips of course so the next step he did, lead to a whole new scenario. To be completely honest, you and him were just awkward as you guys barely knew each other back then but as you guys got closer and got to know each other, man, it’s like complete opposite, now your totally lovers and I don’t think someone would actually think that this might be the arranged marriage. Not at all.
“As I said I missed you besides me at night, it’s cause the first word you would ever speak in the beginning of a new day is my name and I couldn’t hear it ever since, like a week and-“ you heard him say everything but then suddenly your lips meet his, you cut him off. It was your first ever kiss with your husband. Shocking but yes. All the year passed, you guys were just arranged but now it seems like your arranged to lovers. You could feel his lips taking the same feel as yours. Oh you loved him too much at this point. Your windows were all open which led to a cold air breeze moving inside your room and the white transparent curtains of your room just waving, the moon shined through as well. You had your left hand on his shoulders, and the other on the back of his head, grabbing his medium mullets lightly, black hairs, silky and smooth, his chest was almost exposed because he was wearing a simple white shirt with just three top buttons open. His shoulders were broad, broad enough to just trap you in there. Then slowly the kiss became insane, deep and more passionate and your right hand moved slowly back on his almost bare chest. Then after a few minutes you guys stopped, then his gaze went towards your eyes. “It’s would be a shame and disappointing decision on not marrying you, Y/N” he said looking at you. You’re all red, even though you have been this much close to him before but it still made you damn nervous. “Mmm look at you” he said in a teasy loving low tone. You looked away as you heard him say that, hiding yourself. “Wouldn’t you wanna say anything to your husband? I mean I wanna listen it from you, Y/N. Your bold I know mm, since you kissed me.” He said while leaning onto the couch in your bedroom. Then you turned back and said “anything for my husband but he’s too charming, my eyes couldn’t take the view.” You said and then ran back to the bathroom since you needed to change clothes (you were still in a robe). “Im waiting” said Changkyun while letting out a small chuckle.
AUTHOR : You took your time and then you came outside wearing a usual night gown, wasn’t too fancy but it made your body shape look SO GOOD.
Then you came in the room, you saw Changkyun laying down on his side of the bed while closing his eyes. You were confused and pouty. You thought to yourself that “he just asked me to wait and just did everything so hurriedly ://“ as you thought this, you went towards your side of the bed and laid down facing him. He’s so pretty and of course charming as usual but you became restless as you thought that meeting after a week long period, he just slept like that? You meant that you wanted to get lovey-dovey with him but here he just told you to come out as he was waiting. You were all restless, little angry. Then you turn to your side, facing away from him. You were little pissed 😭 cause he got u in the mood but then he dozed off. You mumbled in a little aggression “mmmhmm, tricked, cheatedㅠㅠ”
AUTHOR : You really thought he would let you go that way haha, he wasn’t asleep tho he was just wanting to see what and how you react. And it seemed like you waited for him to wake up. I mean you wanted to see if he was actually asleep or no but he didn’t react until he found out that he had enough play with you(lol) so he woke up and then he (smartass) took his actions when you were on the verge of sleeping ㅠㅠ. He just slowly moved his hand in your hair and whispered—-
“Mmm..sorry about playing like that, darling” he said and then he trapped you. You were in between his hands and his chest towards your face almost. He was on top of you. You were tricked again 😭. He just wanted you to be restless so he waited till u reached limits. “!!!!huh,oh??” you were all sweaty and nervous. “Kyun. You-“ you didn’t get time to say anything. He kissed you. He slowly lifted you up and now your position was like you on his laps facing him eye to eye. You become nervous and try to look away but also intrigued looking at him. You didn’t know what to do but you weren’t awkward. It drove you crazy since he took you on his lap. You were happy knowing that you can now officially act personal and however you wanted in front of him. He pulled you even closer, he was still wearing the white shirt and his hairs slicked back. His bare face is what you loved, those eyes, dark brown pupils which shone throughout the moonlight, as it entered through the open window. “Oh..kyun, it’s a shame not being able to love you..” you said looking all innocent (but he knows you aren’t😏) “mm? Love or fuck? You didn’t know me yet, Y/N, I never got time to show my real avatar..” he whispered in your ears which made you even want him more. You were all okay with what he was gonna do because he asked you many times that in future if there would be a time like this, would you be all ready? And you guys had enough time to find out until today as you both were out of limits. You loved loved loooovveedd his scent. You sniffed him and kissed him on his lips. He got excited to the extent that he took off his shirt and now was on his trousers and you? “Darling, it would be a shame not to appreciate your bare body, he said and asked you “Can you..remo-“ as he was about to say the whole sentence you just didn’t take seconds and took off your pretty floral nightdress which was almost translucent from the top and bottom as well. You wore tights. It was in his favourite colour- purple. The light shined on your body and highlighted his favourite parts, the chest and the collar. Changkyun didn’t have an ideal type cause he’s into someone’s personality but now looking at you, he felt like girls who look good in bikinis would work. But don’t worry, it’s just only gonna be you whom he’ll admire in that attire. You looked perfect. A normal body, not too skinny nor too over. He kissed you all over your neck and then slowly moved to your chest. You had big boobs, he started licking you as he moved down. You let out a moan. “Already moaning hm..?” He said while licking your neck and tummy back and forth. “Mmm~~kyun it tickles” you said being all crawled up. As you said, he just stopped to look at you. “Nuh uh.. you need to be rewarded but also punished for leaving me like this alone for week.” Said Changkyun then he started biting your neck and collarbones, you collar and neck was all his of course, it drove him crazy. You looked at him, he was all over you, looked like a hungry alpha. Whatever he just spoke, made you realised that he’s not gonna let you sleep tonight and you didn’t care about it because you wanted it. You indeed has a sex drive throughout the day, a high sex drive. “I don’t know, I mean you, you don’t know how much I missed you, I drank an entire bottle just because I was missing you. This was yesterday night.” He said kissing you all over. “Kyun~ punish me? Let it all out on me, it’s my fault for making you impatient.” You say whining over as you felt his saliva all over your chest. Plus it was all cold so that little wetness on your body because of sweat and saliva made you whinny. “Punish? You want me to do what I just said earlier ?? Hmm?” He said. He kept asking you which made you say it even louder because in between he would keep making you wet. “IM CHANGKYUN~~~ your too good, I’m gonna be so wet if you keep doi-“ he cut you off “Princess? I almost forgot that you’re messy down there already? Let me check” he said. He ripped your panties, it was too wet and it was shocking to him cause it was your first time as well.
“Next time I’ll bring you a lingerie, it would just look so alluring on you baby” he said in a deep husky voice. You reached too high to your limits that you wanted to be more pleasured so you started acting all slutty (😏). “Next time I’ll make you wait more kyun” you said as you kissed him shutting him up. That thought of buying you your first pair of lingerie drove you insane. He then pulled away the kiss as he heard you. “Mmh? Naughty much? So suddenly huh~?” He said then he slowly put his finger inside your clit. I thrusted it inside whenever you made a statement that he didn’t like. “Oh goddamn, you make my cock swell like..your asking me not to stop huh?Thrusting again, you moaned loudly, and your pussy clenching onto his cock so hard. “You’re totally in mood, huh?” As he said, the tone you couldn’t handle it put hop on his lap fully. “I’m always gonna be in the mood as long as your with me, husband~” you said while kissing his neck. He let out a relaxing moan. “Idk why but I want you so messed up right now~” he said while grabbing your ass and lifting u up to the wall and started biting you, all those love marks meant that you won’t dare to look at someone else but your husband. He’s passionately would be jealous of anyone getting too close to you. You were a science teacher married to a biomedical engineer who owned three big laboratories and companies, what else did you even need in your life? Nothing more nor less. Every touch of his would just make you crave for him even more. More than what a horny feeling contains. You didn’t have words to describe how good he’s in person but on the bed as well. “Kyun, don’t..don- go in too- harsh-“ you said as you were into him. His whole body just on you. He slowly slide in his dick inside you. He knew you wanted to relax, and just making you work too much for him, might not be good, he was a little too rough indeed but he did slow down at the BEST MOMENTS. The room was filled with warmth and just scent of wetness of sweat and his perfume. Gosh that Margiella scent, you felt like a pure heaven and that too after so many days, a week. He wanted to have sex, it was obvious. It felt like the first night of the honeymoon. If it was you, he wouldn’t control he knew this as well, he stripped down your already ripped panties and then went in and out as you felt good, too good. He does have a beautiful dick, you trembled a little so he held on you tight, you could feel that you already have his finger marks on your ass, those marks are of possessiveness. It was 12:00am sharp and the moon was shining bright onto your sweaty body. He then took you to the bathroom but on your way you guys were busy kissing that you missed the couch and fell on it, the couch was a leather couch, brown coloured and it was wide enough to let him have you all night, just laying on it.
He sucked over you. “Such a damn big..prett..y..nose, daddy~” you complimented while being on top of him, riding through out on his dick. He just kept staring at how good you looked riding on him, all the way down you were dripin’ so hard that he turned you over and glide inside the hole of yours, it was small but you just had your first time and that too all raw, “the best thing about us-..Is that I get it.. all raw~” Changkyun said as he licked your hole, he bit your inner thighs and just marked you. He just trusts you and loves you so much. He’s a kind of husband who just knows when your wrong and help you correct it. His sensation reached to your inner walls, just locked it all in. It was like him thrusting into you too much. My goodness it felt so goood, and he forgot about punishing you. He pulled you on him, too much passionate sex and that too no protection, all raw. You moaned too well. “Mm Ahh~” you sounded too good for him but you were all not in your state. “Daddy~” you said “Princess or Slut? Pick one” he asked as he kept on letting you ride him like an actual cowgirl. You were too busy enjoying for yourself. “I ask one more time~” he said then as he got no answer from you, he grabbed your ass, holding you in that position and threw you to the bed again. He threw you on the bed and he climbed on you. “I wanted MOREEE~~” you said to him cause he interrupted you. “So much fun for the living, now let me.” He said. “Now do as your daddy says mm?” He said as he looked at you. You looks so damn good even when your doing nothing but just lying on the damn bed all wet. “No~~” you said while biting your lips and all restless. “Whatever you wanna do but now it’s time for taking the remote control back~” he said while looking down your hole which of course was closed right now “I can’t see it Y/N so open your legs for your daddy~” he said while rubbing your inner thighs. You couldn’t open even if you wanted to because he already had you riding him for some time straight. “Let me then~” he hold your knees and opened your legs, in between all that condensed milk looking consistency oozing out like a river. “Too bad if I couldn’t have it” he said and he licked and sucked you down there. “Mmmmmmmm~” you led out a cry. Too much guilty pleasure for the living. He then turned you over to your chest side facing the bed and ass towards him. “Your pussy and ass both are who’s??” He asked you as he leaned towards you on the position. It was the most penetrative position ever, doggy style in lying position. He thrusted you in your small hole. Your clit was swollen as he turned you back over and kept going as restlessly as you were. You couldn’t even dare to move your legs as they got folded and twisted and things like that many times, it hurt because as he became more passionate, he became more rough. He then in the standing position took you to the bathroom.
“Your getting all this for being selfish earlier, hmm? Get it baby~?” He said. He put you on the bathroom counter besides sink and the mirror. Then you looked at him with tired af eyes and it immediately reminded you of what he might wanna do next. “Shit” you thought. Of course you didn’t want to see yourself like that in the mirror while your partner is doing you. It’s Changkyun, he’s too strong, even if you escape where else would you even hide? “You know why? You didn’t answer my question earlier~” he said while grabbing you back down from the counter and now he grabbed your waist from behind and made you look at the mirror, you refused. “Never mind it’s gonna be slut for now~” he said grabbing your boobs and squeezing them. “Aauah…mmmm, Kyun~~” you let out a moan. “Nuh uh.. what’s my name~???” He asked. “Kyun~” as he heard you say, he put his finger back down in your already too much swollen clit and rubbed it hard. He asked you five times, but didn’t get his desired answer. In between them wrong answers, he kept squeezing, rubbing and penetrating you hard. When I meant hard, it’s on the most passionate but insane level. You were tired, too much tired than you couldn’t stand up. “IM CHANGKYUN~~~!” You moaned and you let out a cry. “Good girls don’t answer late. But seemed like you’re a bad girl now hmm~? For answering late~”. He thrust his dick into you even harder, you dripping down too bad, it needed to be cleaned up. “Damn, that looks so~” he said kissing your back. You wanted to turn towards him as you couldn’t see the mirror. But he didn’t allow you. “Not until I make you see how beautiful you look this way Mrs. Im~” he said biting your shoulders which made you look up and moan. “Mm aah~~” you say as he finally made you see the mirror on his 7th attempt. Yes you just had 7 rounds of having intercourse with your husband. After then finally he let you turn back, facing towards him. You looked at him with tears and anger, not too much angry. “What hm? My Princess just needed..to see..her pretty body and how much more you look..in my eyes” he said kissing you all over your face and then neck. You hugged him at the position and those bites and kisses made you grab his back, muscular and stiff back with your long nails. As he kissed you, his kisses went down till your chest to the tummy and he got on his knees, kissing your cute belly. “A belly piercing ~? You didn’t know how much your making me want you more my darling~” he said to you as he licked your belly. You let out a small chuckle as it tickled you there. “I got it..~ for you.. Danny~” you moaned as he hold your waist and started biting your tummy as well. Gosh this man just likes being all possessive, not a single place on your body was left unmarked. All filled with cherry red marks. “You got the..piercing for daddy~?” He asked you while lifting you up and taking you back to your bed. “I knew you liked piercings..~” you said to him as he carried you, you facing towards him. “Jooheon told me once that you like.. girls who look good in bikinis and piercings~~” so I did them days after our wedding without letting you notice. I kept the moment for today~” you said to him. He heard you and threw you on the bed again. Having just sex and that too raw too, still seemed incomplete for him. He again caged you up. “I want to plant us a seed.” He said while kissing your chest. “And what does that mean~” you asked him even though you knew. “Baby~ idk if you’re ready for our mini version.” He asked you sucking through your tits. You said nothing but moaned. “Do I stop~?” He asked you. You shook your head restlessly. “While you sucking the second most sensitive part of mine~? No, Mr. Im~” you said while ruffling his hairs back. He chuckled and kissed your chest and went down to your belly again. “Knock ✊ knock~” as he knocked your belly. “There’s got to be someone in there soon~” he said while putting his dick inside you. Thrusting again but this time slow and steady, it all oozed out, the cum. It filled your walls and at the Highest time, your walls sucked all of that.
“I forgot to ask you~ would you be able to take our baby if you get pregnant~?” He asked you while stopping. “It’ll be our first little baby, kyun” you cried as you shared. “With you taking care of it? I’ll be so happy to give birth” you said while hugging him. You were all wet. “So should I plant?” He asked you and you replied “get in already~!”. As mentioned, he slit in this time not taking his dick out, instead, he filled you up with his seed. “Now if I let you let all that out..—“ you cut him off “too late, you fertilised me already~” you said as you kiss him on his lips very passionately.
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AUTHOR : After that moment, he tucked you in the blanket and pat your head and massaged your legs. He realised he was too cruel and rough earlier so he helped you relief pain you had in your legs. They were sore and they pained since you kept them open😳😖. He helped you throughout until you fell asleep. He kissed you and lay besides you, hugging you and cuddling you with you burring your face onto his chest and then falling asleep. You guys were sooo cozy to look at.
BONUS
(The next morning)
You woke up the next morning and found out that your husband was asleep on your tummy i.e his head on your tummy. His hand was on your legs which made you think that he might have fallen asleep while massaging your legs. You just stared at him for some minutes then you ran your hands through his hair, cat like big man. “🐈‍⬛” as you stroked his hair again and again he just woke up. “Oh darling, it’s too early why are you awake?” As he said this, you replied “I was gonna say that to you~” you kissed him saying that. “Mm~?” He said. “You slept late I know, rest up cmon!” You say while slowly getting up the bed. You still had pain in there, you slowly trumbled upon. “Haha~ says the one who’s still tired~” he said and then teasingly grabbing your hand. You looked at him “😭”. “Aww my baby, cmere” he grabbed you on his lap. “How can I see you like that hm? Let me massage your body.” He said as he grabbed your waist and then massaging your back. “Mm not the backkk I want the legs!!” You ordered him. He turned on your side on his knees as he turn towards you and then sit in front of you and take one of your legs on his lap and pulls you. “You remember something~mm?” He said teasingly. You hit his lap and said “yah husband~!!”. He enjoyed you being getting teased. He just massages you till an hour. You felt so good. You slept again while he was massaging, it was clear that you did need extra sleep and so did your husband but he received a phone call from his work so he had to leave in a hurry. But the way he left, you didn’t even got disturbed from your sleep. At the end he put a note besides your bed’s side tables which went like-
“In the end, I think that taking care of yourself is the best way to love yourself and if you can’t then I’ll do it, I’ll be there for you always until- I’ll be home soon my love~”
(The above quoting is taken from an interview of MONSTA X spoken by Changkyun himself, not the same as the above but I moderated it to fit with the context. Also idk which interview he said so cause they didn’t really state the name.)
Proof-
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The end 💜
📑 writer : @gor3rri
📢 IF YOU WANT TO REPOST OR POST IT SOMEWHERE, THEN MAKE SURE TO MENTION ME OR CREDIT ME - @gor3rri (eg: by @gor3rri on tumblr) THIS CONTEXT IS MADE WITH SOME HARDWORK, IF NOT THEN IT TAKES SOME TIME TO UPLOAD CONTENT LIKE THIS FOR YOU ALL SO I WILL HEARTILY APPRECIATE IF YOU DO THE ABOVE :)), thanking you all for your patience and understanding 📢
📑 I post new context weekly so stay tuned 📑
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nightklok · 2 months ago
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I have so many things to say about Ultraman Rising it’s insane
I’m choosing to talk about how the movie uses grief and it’s such an interesting way of handling it!
Almost every character in the film has grieved or is grieving in some aspect. And grieving doesn’t even need to mean death but just losing something.
For Kenji he’s grieving over his mother’s disappearance, his childhood lost without his father, and the fact at a young age he realized how cruel other kids were and began to put on a front that lasted well into adulthood.
Hayao’s essentially lost out on not only 20 years of being in his son’s life but also being apart from his wife. The family he was happy to create and love but it was ripped apart with the sacrifice of having to fulfill his duties as Ultraman. He was alone for 20 years.
The way the two handle grief is in different ways.
Hayao’s handling of it seems to be a lot more calmer, meditated and carefully thought of. Even if he couldn’t be in Kenji’s life physically, he collected every trophy and home video Emiko sent of his games. He was an absent father but he was a father nonetheless and why he kept his distance is still in the air but it’s so clear that he did try to be updated in his life as much as possible even if he was far away. And because of the fact he loved Kenji and wanted to protect him, it’d extend well past to adulthood where he didn’t even ask him for help in finding Emiko. Why should he ask his son to help when he’s moved away from a career he spent years building to take on the family hero role? Maybe if he finds her it’ll get Kenji to talk to him again. Maybe he should start himself but he has to find her first. But not once did he yell at Kenji.
Kenji’s is harsher and more self destructive. Purposely making himself aloof, putting on a front of being loud and arrogant, making sure he’s so untouchable no one would want to be friends with him or be close to him, all things as a response to the grief he’s felt. While Ami’s breakdown of him did imply he was always known for being this way, I can imagine it got much worse with Emiko’s disappearance. Mina said he did his best. He assumed he was the only one looking for her and he failed. So why bother being nice? Shove a photocard in a player’s hands that they might’ve sold on eBay anyway, yell at your dad for 20 years worth of pent up rage and feel like shit about it but don’t bother to try and fix it. And don’t bother to talk or ask for help from your teammates even at your lowest…it’s not gonna bring her back but being in control of something might bring in some semblance of normalcy.
however I think the one with the most destructive handling of grief is Dr. Onda. And while I agree with some criticism regarding him, I think he’s a perfect villain suited for this. And in some ways, he can be terrifying.
He lost his wife and daughter. He has no one. Unlike Kenji and Hayao where they at least had each other, he has no one.
Ultraman failed his family.
Ultraman failed him.
Ultraman still has his family.
He morphed the KDF’s structure as a result of that. Even throughout the movie he states how this isn’t what he would’ve wanted to do but he had to help families. To make sure no one goes through what he went through.
But he’s also manipulative about it.
He knows grief about losing his family to Kaijus better than anyone.
He knows that he’s not the only one. And Ultraman can’t save everyone even if they tried.
With grief you end up wanting to blame anything.
So Dr Onda chooses grieving people to work alongside him. Consistently throughout the movie he makes sure to bring up how they lost loved ones/family to Kaijus or how they have to think of their families. While we can gather he wasn’t intentionally being manipulative, at the end of the day he’s a widow who lost his family, there’s no doubt about it he’s at least aware of the impact of bringing it up.
Even when there was some doubt over how the KDF began handling Kaijus, especially when it’s shown how sentient they are with their own culture, affection and love, Dr. Onda makes sure to bring up their own families. Forget how this Kaiju is clearly protected her daughter, your own families are more important.
He’s a perfect mix of how Kenji and Hayao handle grief and shows how destructive it can be.
Using the opposite of Hayao’s handling of grief and mixing it with Kenji’s creates such a manipulative monster of grief. We can argue that he has good intentions, that he just wants Japan to be safe and for families to not lose a loved one, but the movie now presents an interesting debate of why one species is so much more important than the other. Dr. Onda, in his own grief, chooses to brush aside that for the sake of trying to do something he couldn’t do earlier for his family. Even if it means trying to kill ultraman and his son.
At the end of the day nothing he does will bring them back. But he has to hope that despite trying to tear two families apart, he’ll save everyone for the greater good. And if he dies, no one will really grieve for him because he doesn’t have anyone. So he might as well die trying.
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tangledinink · 2 years ago
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Chapter Twelve of I'm Sorry, Teenage Mutant What Now? is up!!! It's the moment you've all waited for-- the reveal. :000 They boys discover some things about themselves (things they once knew) and visit an unfamiliar place (a place that was once familiar.) Read it on ao3 or below the cut!
[ prev ]
The group’s shocked silence lasted for two, maybe three seconds before it quickly morphed into chaos.
“That’s him! That’s the goat!” Mikey shrieked, pointing wildly. “That’s the goat who has Dad!”
“Leo! Call 911!” Raph commanded. Leo scoffed loudly.
“No way! I wanna kick this guy’s ass. Make Donnie do it.”
“What?! No fair! I’ve called 911 the last six times! It’s someone else’s turn!”
“You have not! I called 911 last time!” April protested.
“That one doesn’t count!”
“Well someone’s gotta--”
“Enough!” Goatman snarled, absolutely bristling, waving his arm sharply. The air around them suddenly felt colder and stiller, and Leo shuddered, gritting his teeth as his posture stiffened. “I am not here to listen to your silly arguments. I am here to bring you home, so you can finally fulfill your purpose.”
Leo gave a short snort of laughter. “Hm, yeah, tempting, but our Daddy actually taught us not to go with creepy sheep strangers, even if they offer us free candy, soooo…”
“What?! Candy? No! I’m talking about your purpose! The reason you were created-- to eliminate the human threat! Come with me, and I can unlock your full potential!”
“How many divine purposes have we got again? ‘Cause I’m starting to lose track,” Mikey complained. Leo rolled his eyes.
“Eliminate the human threat? Yeah, uh, maybe you haven't been paying attention, but in case you haven’t noticed, we’re literally humans.”
The yokai paused for a moment. His face twisted, and he hunched his shoulders back before he gave a forced laugh. “Humans?” He echoed. “Humans?! Surely you aren’t fooled by those silly trinkets! You can’t possibly, actually believe…”
“Oh my god. This guy is, like, for real crazy,” April observed, raising her brows.
“No, you are fools!” He hissed in return. “Humans?! These ridiculous forms are completely fabricated! These are not your true selves! You are experiments! You are soldiers! You’re mutated turtles-- my greatest creations! The creations of Baron Draxum!”
“Baron Draxum? Okay, well, we’ll deal with him when he gets here… Oh… Oh-ho-ho wait! You’re doing that, like, sinister talking-about-yourself-in-third person thing, aren’t you! Oh my god, that’s rich!” Leo snorted.
“Hey! Only Raph can use the third-person!”
“I’m sorry, did he say turtles?” Mikey questioned.
“Oh my fucking god…” Leo laughed, clutching his stomach. “Turtles? I’m sorry, we’re mutant turtles?”
“This guy can’t be serious,” Raph muttered.
“Uh, yeah, I’m pretty sure we would have noticed by now if we were reptiles,” Donnie scoffed, one hand on his hip. “Let alone subjects of some kind of biochemical experiments. Which I am intimately familiar with, by the way. Do you have any idea how many community gardens I’ve been banned from?”
“This can’t…” The yokai shook his head, a hand on his brow. “How could you be tricked by such simple magic? I will show you if I have to.” 
“Oh, I’d love to see that,” Donnie muttered.
“Come with me--”
“You are out of your damn mind if you think we’re goin’ anywhere with you!” Raph cut in.
“Maybe if you prove that turtle hypothesis thing you have going on, we can discuss it from there,” Donnie laughed, one brow quirked, sounding caught somewhere between exasperated and amused. Honestly, this whole thing was a little bit fucking hilarious. It was also fucking horrible and scary because their dad was missing and a magic criminal had them cornered in an alley, but like. Seriously. Mutant turtles? You can’t make this stuff up, dude.
Draxum sighed very deeply, scowling at their group.
“Very well,” he said, and he snapped his fingers.
Things became unfunny very, very quickly. 
If the air had become cold earlier, now it became startlingly hot, just for a moment, the alley rising up at least five degrees, and Leo heard this choked, startled gasp that he immediately recognized as his twin brother. At the same time, a blinding, almost familiar flash of white light overtook the alley, and Leo hissed, flinching away. 
When he looked back, he was horrified to find that where his brother had been standing just a moment ago there was instead some sort of green, scaled creature, their eyes slitted and their skin leathery and bumped, and he thought, what the hell happened to my brother? And after a moment of silence, all of them staring in dazed shock, the reptile flailed, floundered, held its own hands up to its face as if to examine them, and promptly began screaming. 
And Leo recognized his own brother's screams, so instead he was thinking: what the hell happened to my brother?!
“What did you do?!” Leo shrieked. Behind him, Mikey screamed, too, and he could hear April spluttering out an impressive string of curse words. He just barely resisted the urge to race over to Donnie’s side, to check if he was okay, (he’s not okay, he knows he’s not okay,) to try to help him, to fix it, because he couldn’t just turn his back on the enemy in front of them-- couldn’t ignore the very obvious threat.
“I simply removed the cloaking enchantment as he requested,” Draxum responded calmly. He even looked amused, almost, the very corners of his lips turning up.
“You what!? What the hell are you-- fix it!!! Turn him back!!!” Leo demanded, his voice rising with the very edges of panic, his pulse climbing ever-steadily higher the longer he listened to his siblings scream.
The other sighed deeply, tilting their head to the side. “Do you still not understand? Fine, then. I’ll show you as well.” 
Snap.
Leo wouldn’t describe the experience as painful, but it really wasn’t pleasant, either. He swore he could feel his skin being stripped away and reforming; it was like his skeleton itself was being rearranged, his entire body becoming fluid for just a split second before solidifying again in new places, new patterns, new spaces. An unfamiliar weight pulled at his shoulders, forcing his spine to bend, and his hands and feet fell in a way that now felt unnatural to him. His skin seemed to lay over his muscles differently now.
He was vaguely aware of Mikey screaming somewhere behind him a second time, echoing Donatello’s continued wails. 
“Guys?” April bit out, her voice high and frightened.
What the hell happened to him?
“What-- what did you do?” Leo repeated himself, his eyes wide, straining, because his vision was ever-so-slightly different than it had been a few seconds ago and he didn’t know how to adjust. He swore to god he was frozen in place. He wasn’t sure when he had ended up on his knees, but he was shaking so hard, he supposed he wasn’t surprised.
What the fuck happened to his body?
“Now are you convinced?” The yokai pressed. “Now, we will be going to my lab whether you want to or not. We can either do this the easy way or the hard way. I would highly recommend the easy way,” he hummed, giving a sharp sweep of his arms. Wind tugged at his back and Leo had just barely the presence of mind to glance behind him, his eyes widening in horror to see this huge expanse of black opening up behind him. 
Mikey-- (Mikey? They were small, they were wearing Mikey’s clothes, it must be Mikey--) yelped loudly, the inky cloud yanking him from his feet. April jumped, attempting to grab her baby brother, though she only succeeded in falling into him-- both of them swallowed up into the portal. Raph gave a strangled howl of protest, diving right after them, and Donnie was sucked up as well, disappearing from Leo’s sight. His heart thudded wildly in his ears. He could feel the magick yanking at him, trying to pull him in as well. 
But Leo had always been the fastest. 
Every shred of him was screaming to follow, to chase after his family, to go with his sister and brothers, but he tensed his muscles, his stance widening and holding firm as he set his sights back on the yokai towering before him. A tiny voice in his head whispered in his ears that following wouldn’t help--
No, he had to move forward. This guy was the one hurting them.
Get him.
Leo wasn’t sure if he had leapt forward or if he simply was there. Everything was moving too quickly for even him to follow, the blinding white of panic and rage eating hungrily at the edges of his vision, threatening to overtake him. Either way, he lunged, a cry of protective fury wringing itself from his chest.
 "Stay away from my brothers," he snarled, his own throat staggering painfully with the force with which he screamed out his warning, his hands flying forward to grab the yokai by his throat, slamming into him at full speed. He felt the alien velvet fuzz of Draxum’s skin beneath the tear of his fingernails (claws) even as the pair of them were flung from their feet. Gravity was stolen from them both, the portal behind them reaching out to consume them. 
Everything went black. For just a second, tumbling through nothingness, floating through the sizzling rush of magick itself, Leo couldn’t see anything. He couldn’t hear anything, all he could feel was the body of the yokai against him, struggling against his grip, attempting to throw him away. 
And then this bright, searing lavender light came singing through the world. It didn’t reflect or bounce; nothing was lit up by it. Leo still could not see himself, could not even find the outline of his own hands or fingers. But this brilliant, complex pattern of the palest, gentlest pastel purple lit up bright before him, swirling and twisting in foreign shapes, and Leo just barely recognized that the ribbon of runes they formed echoed the shape of the yokai he had just grabbed.
The body he was clinging to went limp.
The next second, the wind was knocked out of him as they made impact with stone, light coming streaming back into his universe. Leo found himself landing in a heap in their new location, the portal disappearing behind them. Oddly, however, the crash landing didn’t hurt near as much as he would have expected it to.
“Leo!” He heard Raph cry. Leo groaned, still dazed, looking around blearily. Where the hell were they? He glanced over at the yokai who he had yanked through the portal with them, only to find them in an awkward slump just a few paces away, completely limp and seemingly unconscious. 
“Are you okay? What happened?” Raph demanded, moving quickly to his side. Mikey was already all bundled up in his arms, shaking like a leaf and absolutely clinging to him for dear life like he was going to fall apart if he let go. And Leo couldn’t even blame him if he did. Mikey had always been the smallest of them, and Raph always the biggest, but Leo thought dimly that the size difference between them now was fucking bananas.
Jesus christ. Raph was fucking huge. And… spiky. Was he a goddamn dinosaur? What the fuck.
“I-- yeah-- I-- I think the goatman got knocked out--” He stammered, still reeling slightly, trying to collect himself, to gather himself, adrenaline still rushing through his veins like it was a racetrack. 
Somewhere in the background, Donnie fucking screamed, and Leo immediately forgot about everything else, his head whipping around. 
“Donnie!” He cried, on his feet in a second, rushing over to his brother’s side. He had no idea where they were, not having yet taken stock of the location. He was only dimly aware that they were someplace cold and dark, with stone and concrete above, below, and around them. Donnie had pressed himself up against one of the walls, his entire body rigid and his head bent forward, his arms fluttering wildly beside his head in such a way that Leo recognized he was fighting not to hit himself. Good job, Dee. The screaming continued, but every wail that wrenched its way out of Donnie’s mouth was short and grinding, repeating itself over and over like an alarm. It was fucking terrifying. Not for him, but for Donnie, because he could tell that they were completely, totally not in control. Just panicking.
“Hey. Hey, hey, it’s okay, I’m right here, Don. It’s alright. It’s okay, you’re safe, I’m right here, hermano,” he tried to soothe, forcing his voice down, calm, steady. He knew better than to touch Donnie, but he would reach over just long enough to tap a button on the side of his headphones that he knew would flip the device into white noise mode. Donnie jerked slightly in response, and the screaming stopped, at least, but he didn’t relax. His arms still fluttered and flapped anxiously, and he shifted just enough to begin rocking back and forth, clenching his jaw and grinding his teeth so hard that Leo was afraid he was going to hurt himself. His chest absolutely shook with the panicked, shuddering breaths he was taking, hyperventilating so hard that his entire body trembled in response.
“Come on, Donnie, it’s alright. It’s okay. We’re safe, Mikey and Raph and April are safe, we’re gonna be okay, but you’ve gotta breathe, dude. Can you try it with me? Like this? We’ve gotta calm down a little bit--” Leo pressed on because this was not his first rodeo. He wasn’t quite as adept at handling these things as their dad was, and at this point, Donnie was pretty good at avoiding meltdowns and panic attacks, armed with tools and tricks and years of therapy, but sometimes they were unavoidable and Leo had always known how to calm them down, always been able to step up and help, the same way Donnie could for him--
But Donnie wasn’t calming down. Donnie wouldn’t even look up at him. Rather, Donnie scrunched up harder, curled his lips, and fucking hissed at him.
And, okay, look, it wasn’t the first time Donnie had hissed at them. Donnie used to love to hiss at people when they were little kids, though nowadays he was more likely to express annoyance with declarations such as “groan” or “scoff” or “eye-roll.” But he didn’t hiss like this.
He sounded fucking feral. Even more than that, he sounded fucking terrified. He looked like a goddamn cornered animal, his eyes blown out and huge, the scaly skin that now made up his form stretched tight over shivering muscles and his lips drawn back over sharp, pointed teeth. And Leo looked down at his own clawed, three-fingered hand and came to a horrible realization.
He couldn’t help because Donnie couldn’t recognize him. They were panicking because they were in this crazy, fucked up body that wasn’t theirs, and Leo was in a fucked up body that wasn’t his, and looking at him was just a reminder of everything wrong. He was just scaring them more. His being here was just making things worse, and Leo’s throat tied itself in a knot, swelling up as the backs of his eyes pinched with the thought.
“April,” he called, his voice cracking slightly as he desperately turned to look for his sister. She wasn’t far off, watching from a short distance with obvious worry, and she blinked in surprise at the sound of her name.
“Help me.”
---
If Leo was being completely honest, he hadn’t even realized that Donnie wasn’t still nearby. The two of them typically stuck together like glue whenever they were at school. Leo would usually lead the way, and Donnie would trail after, with Leo doing most of the talking and socializing for both of them. And once Donnie got sick of whatever they were doing, he would simply drag Leo off to sit and read or work on some project or puzzle for a while, and Leo would oblige and keep him company. Donnie was always close by, and Leo wasn’t even aware that this wasn’t currently the case, too absorbed in his latest arts and crafts project, until he heard a telltale, high-pitched whine from across the room.
He was on his feet in seconds, abandoning the activity and his classmates to scuttle off in search of his twin brother. Luckily, he wasn’t too hard to find. Both because he was pretty loud, and also because their substitute teacher was crouched down next to him. She was nice enough, Leo thought, but not quite as cool as Miss Mitchelle was, and he wasn’t sure if Donnie liked her at all. It definitely didn’t seem like he liked her too much right now with how he was all balled up, and Leo wasted no time at all in planting himself physically between the two.
Donnie immediately gravitated towards his brother and Leo moved a bit closer in turn, giving Miss Substitute (he didn’t remember her name,) a very displeased look.
“He doesn’t like whatever you’re doing,” he declared firmly.
Miss Substitute’s expression twitched and faltered for a moment before it settled back into something patient and pleasant, though Leo still didn’t quite trust it. “Leo,” she said, “I was just trying to talk with your brother--”
“I can talk to him,” Leo assured immediately, not bothering to listen to the remainder of her sentence because he couldn’t imagine it would be all that important or interesting. He turned to face Donnie instead. “It’s okay. I can always understand him, ‘cause we have a secret twin language. We made it up. Only we can speak it,” he declared proudly, crouching down to lean in towards his brother, his arms wrapped around his knees.
Donnie was still whining a bit, curled up into a ball and shoved halfway inside of a cubby, his arms crossed protectively over his head as he rocked. And yeah, he was obviously upset, though Leo wasn’t completely sure why yet. As such, he got to work, conversing with his twin in the previously mentioned secret twin language.
… And.
Okay.
So.
They didn’t actually have a secret twin language.
But it was close enough! It wasn’t a language, per se, ‘cause it didn’t have words, just noises and chirps and trills and squeaks and babbles. But he still always got the gist of what Donnie was saying, and Donnie would get the gist of what he was saying, too, so it worked. Sooner or later, he could pretty much always get an understanding of what Donnie was meaning based on the inflection or tone of his noises, as well as calm the other down enough so that Leo could coax a couple of signs out of him, so Leo figured it was close enough to language.
Plus, the ‘language’ itself always seemed to kind of settle Donnie down when he was upset like this. Once Leo started humming and squeaking at him, Donnie gradually started to answer with his own chirps and clicks, and, little by little, Leo watched their twin’s body untense and unwind. Leo grinned, moving to sit properly by him, and Donnie moved closer, edging just a bit out of his hiding spot so he could shove himself up against Leo’s side instead, resting his head against his shoulder and settling in there, an indignant scowl still on his face.
Leo grinned, puffing out his chest a bit as he shot Miss Substitute a look. See? He told her so. He and Donnie always understood each other, no matter what, and he could always fix it when Donnie wasn’t feeling good! He was basically the best brother in the entire world. Confident that he understood the problem, he turned back to face Miss Substitute.
“He said you’re not doing the schedule right, and we’re supposed to do math right now,” he announced, crossing his arms over his chest. And he hadn’t even noticed, but Donnie was right, they did usually do math lessons during this part of the day-- not arts and crafts. “And also, he doesn’t like the paper fish we’re doing ‘cause the glue feels bad. So we gotta find something else to do,” he insisted. “‘Cause otherwise Donnie and I aren’t playing.”
Donnie nodded a tiny bit from behind him, and Leo beamed with pride. Understanding Donnie and calming him down wasn’t even that hard. He didn’t get why adults besides Dad had such a hard time with it sometimes. You really just had to listen to him. 
---
It took a while for April to calm Donnie back down, (or at least get him as calm as they possibly could be in such circumstances,) but she managed after a bit, his panicked breaths eventually dying down into something a bit more even and steady. Thank god. Mikey thought dimly to himself that he had never seen Donnie freak out so bad, but... he supposed he couldn't really blame him. 
He frowned a bit, looking down at his own, unfamiliar hands, and he curled up a bit more, his tail tucking in (oh my god, he had a tail,) as he clung to Raph's plastron (oh my god, Raph had a plastron.) And though it still held comfort, the fold of his biggest brother's arms, bundled up close and held there, this place that he had known his whole life... it suddenly felt foreign, too. Everything was hard and jagged and cold. And even worse-- it was unfamiliar. 
He kept staring at his own hands because he couldn't stop himself, and it made his stomach wobble. He wondered bleakly what his own face looked like because he had no idea. He wouldn't even recognize himself in the mirror. 
 Now that Donnie had finally settled a bit, though he was still curled up and pressed just against April's side, just barely not touching but still squeezed up small against her, Leo finally got up to his feet-- only to immediately lose his balance, falling over onto his back with a loud clunk.
"Leo!" Raph's eyes widened, his muscles immediately bunching up, ready to jump up and go grab his brother. Mikey could tell that he was just barely resisting the urge to scoop up all three of them and bundle them up in his arms and just hang onto them for a while. He had been sitting here long enough for Mikey to notice how fast his heart was beating. Mikey’s was keeping pace. Leo kind of flailed for a second before he managed to redirect the momentum to roll over onto his side, getting himself back onto his hands and knees. A wry, strangled laugh forced its way out of him.
"Alright. Well. Pro tip: center of gravity is weird now," he remarked dryly, his voice strained. "But the good news is falling doesn't even hurt anymore! So that’s great!"
It didn't get a laugh out of anyone. After a moment of hesitation, Mikey slowly wriggled his way from Raph's grip, making his way over to Leo's side. He didn't dare try to walk after watching Leo's attempt, noting that it seemed to be more difficult now without the rush of adrenaline to aid them, so he instead stayed in a crouch, sort of half-hopping-half-crawling over. Raph followed shortly after in a similar manner.
"Can I see?" He questioned softly, and when Leo didn't deny him, he leaned over slightly, moving his hoodie (which was now a very awkward fit,) out of the way enough so that he could examine the edges of his brother's new shell.
(Oh my god. His brother's shell. What kind of a sentence was that? What kind of weird, fucked up make-believe world were they suddenly in? Leo was his brother. He didn't have a shell. He had cool brown skin. He had bouncy blonde curls that Mikey had helped him bleach and dye a red streak in. He had vitiligo 'stripes' over his eyes. He had a bad habit of cycling through boyfriends and insomnia and a shockingly large vocabulary... but he didn't have a shell. He didn't have scales or stripes or claws or a tail.)
He looked anyway, running the tips of his fingers over the top of it, following the curve. He couldn't quite tell if he was feeling the texture of the shell, or just the texture of his own fingers, which were different than they had been; covered in scales, the skin thicker and rougher than it had been before. Bending his joints felt odd, and he couldn't help himself from doing it over and over, as if that might help him get used to it faster. 
 Every part of his brother’s shell was this cool, ocean blue, just edging on teal in some places, and Mikey thought to himself that, in the very least, it matched his life color perfectly. 
He swallowed hard and resisted the tears that were building up in his eyes. He didn’t want to cry right now. He didn’t even know what he was crying about. Because he was scared? Because he was overwhelmed? He wasn’t very good at not crying, but he forced it down, his hands trembling a bit with the effort of it.
 "Does it look the same as mine?" He heard himself asking, his eyes flickering over to meet Leo's (which were now not something he recognized, looking more animal than person, though they still retained the same, familiar almond shape. The color, however, he realized, was slightly different. Leo's eyes were brown. All of their eyes were brown, so dark that they were almost black, but now, instead, Leo's eyes were mismatched; one of them dark blue, like water in a cove, like the sea at night, and the other dark red, like ink with blood, like black cherries.) 
"I dunno," Leo laughed, though his voice was still shaking. "I don't know what mine looks like."
"They're... kinda the same…" Raph observed from nearby, leaning over slightly to examine them both. His voice sounded kind of hollow, like he wasn’t really there. Sort of far-off. "I mean. The parts I can see. Mikey, yours is more... orangey. And bumpier," he said. "And yours is spotty. Leo's is kinda... stripey." 
"Yours is huge," Leo observed with a chuckle, glancing over at their biggest brother, who was always the tallest and largest by a wide margin, but now absolutely dwarfed the rest of them. "And... spiky. You're all spiky. And… and fucking huge, dude. You look like you have fucking paws. And your mouth is all..." He laughed again, scrubbing anxiously at his face with his hands. "You look like a fucking snapping turtle."
Mikey paused a bit at that, glancing over at the other.
Donnie must have said or signed something that the rest of them didn’t catch, because April spoke up next, clearly addressing him. "Uhm, no, yours is... uh. It's kind of flat? And..." There was a pause. "Oh, oh my god, it's, like, squishy!" She squealed, everyone else in the room jumping in response, before she tamped down the noise, biting her lip and getting a handle on her reaction. "Sorry! Sorry, I just. I just wasn't expecting that texture, that's all! It doesn't... feel like what I thought a shell would feel like, I guess."
"Are we different kinds of... turtles?" Mikey questioned, tilting his head to the side. He wanted to laugh at himself when he said turtles. I mean, seriously, turtles? Of all the creatures in the world, turtles? Why were they turtles?
"I guess we must be," Leo sighed, resting his chin on his knee. "We obviously look different." 
Mikey frowned, and he thought that his lips might be trembling if he had proper lips anymore, but he wasn't sure if he did or if they could tremble or what that would feel like if they did. Okay, fine. Now there were a few tears. 
"Does that mean we're not brothers?" 
A beat of silence followed.
"We're not," Donnie said, and quite frankly, Mikey was surprised to hear him speaking. Small miracles? Kinda…?
"Yeah, we are. Don't be crazy," Raph immediately refuted, his brows (er... brows? Place where brows once were?) furrowing together, and Mikey was desperately relieved to see that the space in between still wrinkled into a crease the same way they always did. "Of course we're brothers."
"Evidently, we're not even the same species," Donnie hissed out bitterly, drawing himself up even closer, even smaller, into a little ball. "It's literally impossible."
"Come on, Dee--"
"We're not even human!" Donnie snapped, hunching up his shoulders. "We're not even people!"
"Hey, look, come on you guys," April tried to soothe, holding up her hands as if to calm the group. "It doesn't matter if you're turtles! It doesn't matter to me. I love you guys no matter what--"
"Oh, wow, what a comfort!" Donnie scoffed, and April bristled.
"Okay, look, I am trying to be helpful! I know that this fucking sucks but you do not need to take out your nasty attitude on me!"
Leo suddenly laughed-- loudly, painfully-- tilting his head back and letting his shoulders slump so he could stare up at the ceiling. "Oh my god. Jesus christ. We're not people," he bit out in between his barely restrained hysterics, squeezing his eyes shut. "We're freaks, dude!"
"Leo, c'mon." 
"We're not even people!!!" He repeated. "Fuck. We never even had a chance, and we didn't even know it!... Oh my god, we’re such morons!!! Hahaha-- welp! This is it! Pack it in, boys, it’s all over!"
"Leo, chill. What are you even talkin’ about?"
"Did you know I was gonna go on T?" He questioned, turning around sharply, suddenly, to face Raph. "Me and Dad were talking about it. For, like, a while now. And I was gonna start T, finally. Do you know how much I wanted to do that? Do you know how long I've been waiting to get to do that?"
Raph frowned. "Leo... This doesn't mean--"
"How the fuck is that going to work now!?" He interrupted. "How is anything gonna work now? We're fucking! REPTILES! Raph!!!"
"I KNOW THAT!" Now Raph was yelling, too, and Mikey flinched a bit, hiccuping softly as he drew himself down, retreating slightly, halfway into his shell (oh my god, he can do that now?) "You think you're the only one who was lookin' forward to stuff? I was--" He cut himself off, breathing in deep and then letting it out slow, his jaw tensed.
"Look. I know this... sucks. But it's not gonna help to just throw in the towel right now and mourn shit that we don't even know is gone yet, alright? We'll... figure it out," he said. "We don’t even know what’s goin’ on, so let’s just… let's just try to figure it out first. Okay?" 
Leo frowned. He looked down and to the side, tightening his hands into fists, but he didn't have any rebuttal. After a moment, he took a deep breath, pulling himself up to his feet for a second time. He tottered for a moment, his arms windmilling until he found his balance and this time he stayed on his feet. He looked around the room for a moment before his eyes fell on the limp form of Baron Draxum, still crumpled in a heap some odd paces away.
"What do we do with that guy?"
All of their eyes snapped over, as though they had all just remembered that he was there in the first place.
"Did you knock him out, dude?!" Raph questioned, his eyes widening slightly. 
"No! I mean. I don't think so. Not exactly," Leo said. "It's, like-- he grabbed me and some sort of mystic-magic-whatever thing happened. He lit up with a bunch of symbols and he just... went down. I dunno what happened." 
"Well," Raph said, sighing deeply before he pulled himself to his feet as well, doing a similar rock and wobble to Leo before he figured out the new balance he had to strike, correcting his own footing. His long tail swung back and forth behind him, assumedly on instinct, to help. "We dunno how long he's gonna stay down, so we oughta find a way out of here and put some distance between us and him ASAP. We already know where Dad is, anyway."
"Maybe we can figure out where we are," Donnie mumbled bleakly, pulling himself to his feet as well. He seemed to struggle much less than his brothers did, and Mikey noted that his back rounded less than theirs. April got up as well, sticking close to his side, but perhaps hovering a bit less now. 
Mikey watched as his family rose up, one by one, finding their feet again. And something in his chest unwound and loosened again. A breath he hadn't realized he had been holding came tumbling out of him.
He didn't know his own face anymore. And he didn't recognize his brothers when he looked at them.
But they were still them. Already, Mikey was completely sure of it. And the change, while still terrifying, felt just a tiny bit less devastating. 
He hadn’t lost them yet.
Bracing himself for the coming challenge, he rose up to his feet as well. The unfamiliar weight on his back was more than he had expected and attempted to drag him down, and he stumbled slightly, nearly toppling over onto his back the same way Leo had the first time-- but Raph grabbed his wrist before he could, pulling him forward and correcting him, and Mikey was relieved to find his center of gravity once more. Usually, he would complain about his big brother stepping in, preferring to do things on his own rather than being 'babied' by his older family members, but...
 Right now, it was actually okay. 
"Okay. Let's do this." 
(They took about three steps before Raph yelped and tripped over his own tail.)
---
Though they had tied up the so-called "Baron Draxum" with whatever rope and other scrap they could find in this place, (the longer they were here, the more Donnie began to suspect it was a lab of some kind,) none of them were very confident that it would be able to hold him for very long, if at all, and so they all got to work trying to figure out an exit. But to call this place 'maze-like' was a bit of an understatement.
"This is the worst landmark ever," April hissed in frustration as they turned a corner, only to once again be met with a hog-tied yokai, face-down on the concrete. "We keep going in circles!"
"Okay, look," Donnie sighed. "I know we don't want to linger here any more than we have to, but let's look around a bit and see if there's anything useful lying around to get us out of here. Clearly just walking out isn't getting us anywhere." 
There was a chorus of grunts and mumbles of agreement from the rest of his family, and the group slowly fanned out, beginning their search. It was dark here, wherever they were. The ground beneath his feet was cold, with him and his brothers having already ditched and stowed their sneakers and boots after realizing how awkward and painful it was to walk in them with their new wide, two-toed feet. 
The space was wide and almost circular, with various tunnels branching off at different levels, all leading away to who-knew-where. Several desks and tables were scattered about the space, each surface covered in everything from charts to pipettes to oddly-shaped jars filled with oddly-colored substances. Donnie just barely resisted the urge to sit down and start working, or to begin snatching and pocketing things as he found them. Instead, he took a liberal amount of photographs of everything they found on his phone.
 His impulse control could only get him so far, however, and his eyes narrowed as they fell across a small, purpley-pink gem that lay on the desk, suspended within a small glass case. This certainly looked interesting... Geology wasn't really a passion of his, but something about this just seemed... intriguing. He couldn't quite place it...
 Surely no one would miss this, right? It was small! It would be silly not to take it, quite frankly, and he slipped it into his pocket as quietly as he could when he was sure no one else was looking. 
Now, if only he could find some blueprints of the tunnels... But that would be too easy, wouldn't it?
"So," Mikey said after a minute or so of them searching, and Donnie sighed internally. Of course, they couldn't expect him to stay quiet for that long. "If Raph is a snapping turtle, and me and Leo are turtle-turtles, then what kind of a turtle is Donnie?"
Donnie rolled his eyes, scowling. "Okay, well, first of all, do we really have to discuss this?" He hissed, immediately bristling. "I’d highly prefer we not address the proverbial elephant in the room, thank you! Second of all, 'turtle-turtle' is not a species."
"Yeah, but, like, we have turtle shells!" Mikey explained. "But April said yours is squishy. So what does that make you?"
Donnie sighed deeply. Talking about this made his skin itch.
"A softshell turtle, I suppose."
"A softshell?" Leo questioned, raising a brow. "That's a thing?"
"Yes."
"How do you know that off the top of your head?" Raph questioned.
"Some of us actually paid attention during biology classes," he responded dryly. And having a near-photographic memory did, admittedly, help as well…
"Whoa!" Mikey absolutely beamed. "That's so cool! Now we just gotta figure out what kind of turtles me and Leo are!"
"Well, I'd look it up if we had any service. And also if it was even close to being an appropriate time for us to waste our efforts on something like that," Donnie said with a roll of his eyes. He knew that Mikey was just distracting himself, finding a silver lining so he didn’t break down, but Donnie didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to think about how much of their entire lives was completely fabricated, about how--
He snorted, suddenly doubling over with laughter.
"What?" April questioned, raising a brow.
"I just-- I just realized!" Donnie laughed. "Our... our moms must be turtles! Fucking turtles!"
There was a beat of silence as this sunk in before Raph gave a similar reaction. "Damn! I guess you're right, huh?"
"Do you have any idea how much time I wasted in therapy talking about this?" Donnie squeaked out through giggles. "I spent so much time with Mossy talking about our mom and how she didn't want us or whatever the fuck and about the stuff she did to Dad and how I couldn't remember her, and she-- she was never even real! None of that ever even happened! She was just a fucking turtle, wasn't she!? We don’t even have a real mom!"
"Whoa! Mind... blown. I didn't even think about that..." Mikey gaped, his eyes wide. "This whole time I just assumed that our mom was probably the hotel lady..."
"Yeah, me too," Leo agreed.
Donnie blinked.
"You what?"
"Well, you know, that woman that Dad was datin’ right before he disappeared," Raph said. "And she runs the Grand Nexus Hotel, right? All the articles I ever read always mentioned her."
Donnie's eyes twitched. "You thought she was our mother?" He questioned.
"Well, that's who Dad was datin’ last! And for a long time, too. It'd make sense, wouldn't it?" Raph defended.
"Yeah. You didn't think that?" Leo said.
"NO! Why would I think that?!" Donnie was laughing again.
Leo huffed in offense, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm sorry, do you know something we don't?"
"Apparently!" Donnie exclaimed. "Guys, you've seen pictures of her, right?!"
"Well, yeah?" Mikey tilted his head to the side.
"She's pale as fuck!"
"So?"
"And our Dad is Japanese!"
"And? Donnie, what's your point?"
"We're black!"
"... Ooooohhhhh," all three of his brothers said, nearly in unison, after Donnie's argument finally sunk in.
"Oh my god," Donnie laughed, covering his face with his hands, scrubbing tears from his eyes. "You're all so fucking dumb..."
"I guess our mom would have had to be black. I mean. We got the Japanese half from Dad, but... I never really thought about where the other half came from..." Raph admitted, his mouth still slightly agape like he was still rolling the thought about in his head. 
"Wait a minute," April said, her hands on her hips. "I mean, yeah, all that makes sense, but if you guys have secretly been turtles this whole time, then why are you black?"
"Dude, are all turtles black?" Mikey questioned, his eyes widening.
"I cannot discuss this any further. I'll get a migraine and furthermore cease to function, as I am, and I cannot stress this enough, just barely suppressing the gravity of this whole situation right now," Donnie sighed, gesturing to himself as he turned back to the desk in front of him. "Did anyone find anything yet?"
"Not yet," April sighed, shuffling through some papers. "What even is all this junk?"
"I'm not sure. Some sort of research, it seems like..." Donnie mused, sort of thumbing through a book as he spoke, reading key phrases and chunks of text as quickly as he could and making mental notes so he could refer back to it later. He was more than happy to have something else to focus on, though this would admittedly be a lot easier with human hands. "But I'm still not sure where--"
Shhhh shhhh.
Donnie paused mid-sentence, his brows furrowed. He hadn't noticed that sound before now. He tilted his head a bit to the side, turning in its direction, trying to zero in.
"... Donnie?"
"What's that noise?" He questioned aloud, though his voice was barely above a whisper.
Shhhh shhhhh.
He knew that noise. He recognized it. Where had he heard it before?
Shhhh shhhhh.
... Water, he realized with a start. The noise was running water. Of course. How had he never realized this before?...
That's what he was hearing. That's what he had heard.
"Dee? You good?"
"Guys," he said, turning just enough to glance over in their direction. His face suddenly felt like glass. It was odd. "I think... I think we're in the sewer," he said. "... And I think we've been here before...?"
Before anyone could say anything further, a new noise filled up the space.
Skrrrtttccchhhhh.
---
"What was that?!" Mikey shrieked, immediately leaping behind his biggest brother to hide. Leo and Donnie were instantly gravitating to each other as well, falling into stance on instinct as they stood back to back, each covering the other. 
"It sounds like something scratching," April said thoughtfully, and true to her word, the same skritching noise clawed its way through the air a moment later, echoing slightly against the walls. "I think it's coming from over here!"
"April!" Raph hissed off a protest as she took off, heading in the direction of the sound. "We don't know what that is!"
"We will if we go look!" She chirped in reply. I mean, come on, what was the benefit of hiding over here instead of investigating? Weren't they curious either way? Besides, they were stuck here regardless-- maybe they'd find something helpful.
The noise continued as April searched, peering around corners and down tunnels, until, finally, she found her prize. Tucked inside one of the off-shoot tunnels, one of the many dead-ends that seemed to surround this space, was a proverbial treasure trove. A variety of odds and ends filled the space; various amulets and scrolls and chests and even weapons were leaned up against the wall or stacked up on the ground. In fact, a lot of weapons were in here. Was this some kind of a weird armory? Or a trophy room? What kind of sewer has a trophy room?
But most interestingly, she found the source of the noise. Inside a small, dimly lit orb, looking as though it were made of some sort of glass, or perhaps even light, was one of the oddest creatures April had ever seen, clawing sadly at the surface of its prison. It had ears like a chihuahua, pointed and too big for its head, with tufts of fur poofing out from inside, but huge eyes like some kind of a cat. Pointed tusks stuck from its mouth like a boar, but soft, downy yellow-and-blue fur covered its entire, squirrel-like body, complete with a fluffy, wriggly tail.
"AW, you guyyssss!" She called out. "Come look! It's cute!"
"April!" The guys were right behind her, with Raph leading the charge. "You can't just run off like-- jumpin' jack flash! What the heck is that thing?!"
"I dunno!" April said with a shrug, immediately making her way into the room, scooping up the orb so she could examine it, looking for a way to open it up. The little critter inside pattered about excitedly, its claws clicking against the smooth surface. "Help me figure out how to get him outta here."
"Are you sure about that?" Leo questioned. "No offense, but we have nooo idea what that thing is! Maybe it's, I dunno, locked up for a reason?"
"What? C'mon, guys, we've gotta help!" Mikey protested, turning on them with big, pleading eyes. Nice, April thought, with Mikey on her side she had basically already won. Suck it, middle children. "Plus, he was locked up by Draxum. So he can't be bad!"
"Yeah! Ever heard ‘the enemy of my enemy is my friend?’" April added in.
"I'm not convinced," Donnie said, crossing his arms over his chest. "I mean, has anyone else noticed that pretty much everything else in this room is a weapon of some kind? Isn't that maybe a bit telling?"
"Aw, come on, Dee. Look at this face!" April insisted, holding up the orb to the others. The creature, to their credit, played their part, pulling an absolutely pitiful face which Mikey immediately echoed, turning to his brothers with watery eyes. 
Checkmate.
"Okay, okay, fine. Look, there's gotta be something in here that can help us bust him out..." Leo muttered, beginning to pick his way through the contents of the room with Raph, Donnie, and Mikey following suit shortly after. 
"Here, what about these?" Leo said after a moment, turning to face them with a pair of twin katanas in hand. "Think I could slice that bad boy open with these guys?"
April scoffed, clutching the orb close to her chest. "Uhm, and this guy in half, maybe!" She protested. "Can we try something a little less deadly, please?"
"Aw, come on! These are cool," Leo protested, grinning as he twirled them in his hands with a metallic shwing.
"You just like them because you always win at any swordsmanship event at tournaments," Donnie remarked dryly, grabbing a long wooden staff to hold in his hands, testing the weight of it. "... That being said, should we maybe grab some of these just in case?"
"Whaddya mean?" Raph glanced over at the other.
"Well, we haven't even made it to the Hidden City yet, and we've already been attacked once," Donnie reasoned, placing a hand on his hip and frowning. "So it wouldn't exactly be a bad idea to have some weapons on hand in case of an emergency." He spun the bo staff in his hands appraisingly a few times. "I mean, obviously this is a bit underwhelming, but I'm sure I could make some improvements once we got back home..."
"Sounds like a good plan to me! Look at all the stuff they’ve got!” Mikey cheered, immediately diving in, beginning to sort through all the various options they had in the room. He chuckled darkly, swinging a pair of nun-chucks in his hands. “These’ll do…”
“Yo, guys!” Raph called, waving to get his brothers’ attention before pointing to the very far corner of the room. “If we’re gonna take stuff, why don’t we take the glowy ones?”
There was, in fact, a weapons rack filled with floating, vaguely glowing weapons, tucked away in the shadows, which only made the glow all that much more tempting. They were simply begging to be taken.
Mikey and Leo, almost in unison, gasped, their faces absolutely lighting up as they raced over to join Raph. “Ooh, dibs on the sword!” Leo cheered, immediately snatching up the odachi and repeatedly striking poses.
“Hot soup! Check me out!” Mikey snatched up a bright orange kusari-fundo, absolutely beaming ear-to-ear. Raph was nearly drooling as he laid his claim on a pair of tonfas, beaming as he gave a few experimental swings. 
“They’re perfect! No one’ll mess with us now!”
“What about you, Donnie?” April questioned, tilting her head back to glance at the remaining brother. “Don’t you want a glowy weapon?”
“And add yet another unknown, uncontrolled variable to our current situation? I’m good,” Donnie scoffed, rolling his eyes. “I’ve trained with a regular, wooden bo staff. I’ll fight with a wooden bo staff, thank you very much. You all have fun with your likely-radioactive weaponry,” he said, waving them off. 
“Here, April, I got something for you, too,” Mikey chirped excitedly, scampering over to present his find to her. “Ta-da!!! Baseball bat!”
It wasn’t a baseball bat-- it was a club. But close enough! April gasped in delight. “It’s perfect!” She enthused, immediately snatching it up, rolling it around in her hands and tapping it against the side of her shoe a few times. Ooh, and the weight was perfect, too. “And I think it can help us get little guy out of this ball thingie, too! Leo, come hold it still for me!”
 "Aw man, why do I gotta hold it?" Leo muttered in complaint but did as he was told regardless, kneeling down to hold the orb steady, taking care in the placement of his hands to minimize the chances of broken fingers.
 "Alright," April said, backing up a bit, her tongue sticking out from between her lips with focus. "This won't hurt a bit..." 
She swung the club back, taking care to temper her strength, and brought it down on the little ball prison with a satisfying crunch. 
"Did it work?" Mikey gasped, his eyes wide as he leaned over. The orb was not shattered nor laying in pieces; but the side of it had caved in considerably, a spiderweb of cracks blossoming from it, and a second later, it simply dissolved as if it had never been there in the first place. The creature that had previously been trapped inside cracked one eye open, having squeezed itself into the very back of its cage, flinching at the oncoming impact, gave an absolute trill of excitement, darting about in celebration.
"There we go!" April said, grinning wide, her hands planted on her hips. "See, told ya I'd get you outta there! That's better, right?"
The little yellow beast threw itself into her lap, wriggling with joy and nuzzling at her with an enthusiastic wag of its tail. "Okay, okay! You're welcome!" April laughed, giggling as she allowed the creature to clamber about in her arms, allowing it time to bounce about before it finally began to settle again.
"Any chance you know how to get out of here, little guy?"
---
Raph looked up from his phone and his tea at the sound of mail plopping down on the table, glancing over to examine the letters his father had just tossed over in his direction.
"For you," Dad remarked, sorting through the remaining mail from the day.
"For me?" Raph echoed, his brows rising up. "Who the heck is sending me mail?" Curiosity took hold immediately, and he abandoned the wrestling video he had been watching previously in favor of tearing open the letters on the table.
He was surprised to find college brochures inside. His father, however, did not seem all that surprised at all, even adding a couple more to the pile.
"It seems you are in high demand," Dad teased, smiling the tiniest bit. "I have received a few emails as well from recruiters recently."
Raph paused for a moment, rolling this idea about in his brain, trying to figure out what it meant and what it tasted like before he forced a small laugh, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.
"Guess they haven't seen my grades yet," he joked weakly. Dad hummed softly, pulling up a chair so he could sit down next to his eldest son.
"Nonsense," he scoffed. "Your grades are fine, Raphael. You've simply tricked yourself into thinking they're not by comparing yourself to others," he added, giving the other a knowing look. "And besides that, this is hardly the only thing that matters. I have told you many times that grades aren't everything. My grades in high school were terrible!" He remarked with a laugh. "And your career in sports is very impressive."
"I guess," Raph said, wrinkling his nose up a bit as he leaned over the table. Easy for him to say. He had a hard time wrapping his head around the idea of colleges being interested in him when his three younger brothers were right here in the same damn house! Had they really meant to send these to Hamato Raphael?
Dad's hand moved to rub little circles into his back, and he nudged his son's teacup a bit. Raph agreeably took a sip, allowing the warm liquid to trickle down through his chest.
"I know you have not always enjoyed schoolwork, Raphael," Dad finally spoke again. "But you are not stupid. You may very well have the most common sense of any of my children!" He chuckled. "And you have many talents besides that. You are a remarkable athlete, and I know I do not have to drag you over to the trophy wall to prove this to you, but I will if I have to. You are only sixteen and you are already the captain of multiple sports teams... not just anyone could handle that! It is difficult to lead a team. But you have always handled this with grace. And teaching children! That is a talent in and of itself. That is no easy task. Trust me, I know," he said, smiling slightly. "But you are doing so well with your new job. And I am very proud of you."
 Raphael glanced over at his father, for just a moment, hesitating like he wanted to say something, but then biting it back.
"You don't have to go to college if you don't want to," Dad added. "If you decide that is not the path for you, that is fine. I won't be upset or disappointed. I did not go to college, either! But I would hate for you to not even consider it just because you don't think you're good enough for it," he pressed. "I know you've always said you intend to pursue a career in sports of some kind, but this is very much an avenue to achieve that if you'd like. Many professional athletes get their start through college sports, you know. And I can already name half a dozen universities off the top of my head who would be thrilled to have you on their team in a couple of years!"
He sighed softly.
"But you do not have to decide right now, my son. There is still plenty of time for you to consider all of your options."
Raph glanced over at his father, shifting a bit in his seat, before looking to the side.
"Uh. I dunno, Pops. I mean. I'm not good at tests and all that junk. I mean. College football could be good 'n all, but, uh..."
He hesitated a second, sort of scratching the side of his jaw, hesitating a bit. "I dunno. Maybe I could... I mean. We could look at it, at least. I was kind of wonderin’ about, uh. I dunno… Just, lately, I was thinkin' about... studyin' early childhood education, maybe?..."
[ next ]
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walkingstackofbooks · 2 months ago
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For the ficlet prompt. What do you think their first lunch was like after the Dominion camp?
Julian is reeling from the ramifications of the changling that took his place, which everyone liked better. And maybe he's disappointed in Garak especially for not recognizing the imposter.
But also he learned the truth about Tain and watched Garak see his father die (and WHY did Garak do that??) and Julian probably wants to comfort his friend / situationship.
Garak meanwhile is reliving all the lunches that were actually the changling over the past few months. And his dad died and Julian SAW it (because he wanted Julian there). And he's worried about Julian who just got back from prison and probably has PTSD. And also why didn't he recognize the changling is he losing his edge as a spy?
And neither of them can say anything directly at lunch. So is it awkward? Are they both just so relieved to have the other there that it isn't awkward?
Do they talk about some book that acts as a perfect metaphor for what one (or maybe both) of them are going through??
Thanks to some assiduous Garak trickery over Halloween, I've finally got there! Thank you for your patience! (I know I never promised prompts would end up fulfilled, but still - half of this has been sitting in my drafts since July!)
I'm afraid this is not a happy fic, but I hope it answers a couple of your questions nonetheless! Thank you for the prompt - it was super interesting to think about!
--
The sound of the door chime startled him, and something dropped to the floor as he realised that his mind had drifted off again. It was now 12:38, which meant that he'd been out of it for some twenty-seven minutes - not the longest stretch by any means, but long enough. He looked down at the duster that had landed on his foot; apparently, he'd been cleaning? A glance around the quarters confirmed it: everything looked just that little bit neater, the books on the shelf were in a different order, and the sofa no longer bore the evidence that he had been sleeping on that instead of the bed.
Julian shivered. He had meant to tidy up, rearrange some things - but the purpose had been to make the quarters feel decidedly his again, and this... this didn't.
The door chimed again, and he hurried to shout 'Enter', knowing how easy it had been to concern his friends these past few days.
For some reason, it had not crossed his mind that it might be Garak to come through the door, armed with his usual pleasant smile. Maybe Julain had got too used to all the worried looks his other friends had been shooting him, but he wasn't sure whether to be relieved or apprehensive about the Cardassian's appearance. Everyone else had been understanding, at least, about the weird ways his trauma had been making itself known since he had got back – even if he had been embarrassed to have them see him like that, surely reinforcing how inferior the real Julian Bashir was to the pretend one. But Garak, well... who knew how he'd react?
"I see you weren't expecting me, Doctor," Garak said.
"Not exactly," responded Julian. "What are you doing here in—"
He hesitated, voice stuttering to a halt over the word "my quarters". It still didn't feel right. "What are you doing here?" he finished weakly instead.
"Well, I didn't want you to think I'd forgotten about our scheduled discussion," said Garak. "Although, of course, if you have other things to do…"
"No," broke in Julian, some part of him reaching out keenly for this time with Garak, no matter his anxieties. "No, I'm not doing anything. Please stay, Garak."
The Cardassian raised his eyebrows. "Stay, Doctor? But the replimat—"
Julian shook his head, looking away. "Unless it makes you uncomfortable..." he said, remembering too late that having conversation with Garak also meant eating lunch with Garak, and realising that he might trip over that very first hurdle. "I'm not, um— Food still isn't..."
He cringed at his own incoherence; he wasn't exactly making a convincing impression of a good lunch companion.
"I'm still adjusting to eating regular meals, and so the replicator here has been programmed to better accommodate my current needs."
And now he was sounding like a medical robot. Great job, Julian.
"I understand," said Garak. "Your recovery will be swift, I hope? But for now, there's little I would enjoy more than to accept your invitation. Where should I sit?"
"Oh, anywhere," replied Julian, gesturing at the sofas, grateful now for his unconscious burst of housekeeping. "Would you like something to drink?" he asked, just as much to put off answering Garak's first question as out of habitual politeness.
Garak replied that some rokassa juice would suit him well, thank you very much, and so Julian busied himself at the replicator, taking as much time as was believable over the task. He was rather out-of-practise at figuring out Elim Garak.
The trouble wasn't that Garak never meant what he said; most people didn't. But from most people, Julian would have assumed a question about his health was a simple pleasantry, and would have told them what they wanted to hear: yes, he was recovering well, and hoped to be totally back on his feet soon. With Garak, you had to listen out for what he didn't say, to know his meaning. 
Your recovery will be swift, I hope? It was barely even a question. And that meant Garak could be asking it simply because it was the normal thing to do (and maybe Julian really shouldn’t be obsessing so much over it). On the other hand, however, he could be showing great concern towards Julian, but because this was Garak, masking that he felt anything at all behind the banality. Or maybe he was even trying to indicate that he had just as little patience for sharing discussion without having lunch as he did for having lunch without any discussion, and he was only staying because he felt obliged to. Julian had noticed how Garak had said that there was “little” more he would enjoy, implying that there were other things he’d rather be doing...
Damn it all. Usually, Julian enjoyed running all the possibilities through his mind, relishing in the challenge of trying to give Garak the answer he wanted, but right now it already felt like there was too much in his brain, and Garak had barely even entered the room! Julian was certain that his mind had been quicker than this a month ago, that there hadn’t been this constant fog which he now had to wade through to get to the end of any thought, that his anxiety had been neither this loud, nor this overwhelming. 
The glass was in his hands, and he was handing it over to Garak; his feet had carried him back to the sofas without waiting for him to direct them. Julian sat down, mildly disturbed. The dissociation was nothing new, it had been following him since solitary – hence his earlier acceptance of the newly-clean room, rather than outright panic – but usually it had confined itself to times when he had been alone. He hoped this was just a blip, and not a development that was going to stay. 
“How have you been?” he asked. His fingers had started to tap against his leg, and he pulled his hands sharply together, clasping them tightly. Maybe he ought to have made himself a drink, too, just to give his hands something to hold.
“I am better, certainly, than the last time we talked,” Garak replied. “And you?”
Following Garak’s lead, Julian gave an equally non-committal reply. “I’ve been worse,” he shrugged.
“You’re still experiencing… difficulties, though?”
“Is it so obvious?” Julian chuckled, wincing and praying that it really was just the obvious that Garak had spotted.
“Well for one thing,” Garak started, “—and do forgive me for pointing this out, I feel a little rude… but I do not believe that this is Rokassa juice.”
“I—”
For a few seconds, Julian felt as though his brain had come to a complete halt. He sat there, staring at Garak stupidly, before leaning across the coffee table to reach out for Garak’s glass. Now he was thinking about it, he realised that Rokassa juice usually came in a mug.
And this, unmistakably, was tea. Tarkalean, not Cardassian.
“Heh, must have been on autopilot,” he said, trying to laugh it off. “I’m terribly sorry, Garak – let me get you another—”
“Allow me, my dear,” interrupted Garak, smoothly rising from the sofa and leaving Julian to wonder how on Earth he’d failed to notice the mix-up himself. He supposed that he really must be more behind on sleep than he’d thought.
The fact that Garak had seemed to return almost instantly added to that theory. Julian hadn’t even heard the beep of the replicator, and startled when Garak suddenly appeared by the sofas once more, mug in hand.
“Don’t worry, I’m just tired,” he said, in answer to Garak’s quizzical look. “I haven’t been sleeping much lately.”
He hadn’t meant for that to slip out, and hoped that his earlier supposition was true: that Garak was just being polite, and wasn’t really checking up on him. Julian didn’t need yet another friend inquiring about his nightmares.
He had no such luck, of course. Garak almost seemed to pounce on this opening.
“It is my understanding that humans recover best only when they are getting sufficient rest,” he said. “Indeed, I seem to remember several occasions upon which you, my dear, lamented your patients’ inability to follow the simple instruction of “Get some sleep”.”
Julian groaned, leaning back into the sofa, twisting the glass of rapidly-cooling tea in his hands. “It’s not that simple.”
“Do you expect it to be?”
The question brought Julian up short, grating in its sharp lack of sympathy.
“I—Not really, I suppose? Not after what we went through.”
The ‘we’ slipped out without thought, an unwitting lie despite its truth. But it was easier, somehow, to claim the shared ghastliness of the final few days. ‘I’ sounded dreadfully lonely.
An unfamiliar expression stole across Garak’s face, and Julian wished he could tell what the Cardassian was thinking. Whatever it was, it seemed that Garak had lost control of the conversation too, the both of them reaching out for something to say, and returning with nothing – nothing they could admit to, anyway.
“Did you read any books while I was away?” he asked, before he had to contend with any awkward silence.
“None that were worth discussing,” Garak replied dismissively, leaving Julian wracking his brains for what he’d recommended that was so objectionable – before the unpleasant realisation swept over him that anything Garak had read, he would have discussed with the changeling. His stomach curdled, and he took a quick mouthful of his tea to try and swallow down the bile rising in the back of his throat.
“Can I—Do you—?" He was just saying words now, hoping that he’d stumble upon a suitable question and coming up laughably blank.
His stomach came to the rescue, interrupting his stilted thoughts with a growl. A rather loud growl, in fact, which had him wondering if he’d actually eaten breakfast that morning.
“I should eat,” he said, standing up and trying for a smile. “Thank you, Garak – this has been… nice—”
A frown drifted across Garak's face. “Are you we not sharing lunch, Doctor?”, he asked, his eyes flicking to the clock. Julian followed his gaze, and was startled to realise less than ten minutes had passed since Garak had entered. Oh.
But eating was difficult enough without the shadow of the changeling’s lunches looming fresh in Julian’s mind.  “I can’t,” he replied. “I’m sorry, Garak, it’s just, I can’t—.” He broke off.
I can’t eat with you.
Why would Garak even want to stay for longer anyway? Surely he could see that there was no scintillating conversation to be found in these quarters today?
Unless Julian had been so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he hadn’t even realised what Garak had really come looking for.
“Garak…” he started hesitantly. “About Tain—”
“I’ll leave you to your lunch, Doctor,” Garak interrupted, speaking over Julian as though he hadn’t said a word. “I hope you have a pleasant meal.”
The Cardassian stood up, first putting his mug away in the replicator, and then crossing the room to the door. For once, Julian could see straight through him, the way that Garak was trying to disguise the fact that he was all but bolting from the room.
“At least I know I’m not okay!” he found himself shouting over the sound of the door’s opening swish.
Garak turned to look at him. “Is that a fact?” he asked – and then he was gone.
Julian sat down, aching in a way he could not name. His stomach hurt, and the quarters were not his, and he was once more alone.
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lynxgriffin · 1 year ago
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Since we've got plenty of time to reflect, who do you the Knight is? (I'm very much hoping it's Papyrus)
Okay! So! 
While I uh, think that Jaru is super wrong on almost all his theories, I've got one major exception where I think he is correct, and that’s the identity of the Knight:
(This is kinda long, so going under the read more)
Namely, that the Knight is Gerson’s soul tied to a particular object and brought to life in the Dark World. Although for me personally, I’m going to tweak that idea quite a bit because I think it can actually tie in really nicely with my current theories on Ralsei’s identity and nature. 
We keep getting little references to Gerson brought up here and there in both chapters: there’s a drawing of a turtle monster in the abandoned classroom, done by Alvin. It’s presumably either Alvin himself or his dad, Gerson, and I’m guessing it’s the latter. We have books written by Gerson in multiple places, a memorial bench for him, and then Alvin’s conversation about him in the graveyard by his headstone. Alvin also mumbles something about “did I do the right thing?” to Gerson’s grave. As long as you initiate a conversation with Alvin, the game makes sure that you don't miss that extra bit, which is a little telling.
We know that Gerson was originally a historian, and then later turned to writing fiction, and wrote a beloved fiction series that fans still send his family letters about after his death. 
What do we know about the nature of the Dark Worlds? They’re basically imagination and fantasy brought to life. While they certainly seem to have a full history outside of what we experience, with characters that remember each other even from other Dark Worlds, they’re only “given form” when a dark fountain is opened. Any Lightner with determination can stab the earth, and a dark, inky substance can spew from it and give a world of fantasy its own form. The Darkners frequently talk about how Lightners give them direction and purpose in their lives.
So…question! How many of you have used a fountain pen?
I have used those before. They’re quite sharp, and using them very often feels like scratching or stabbing the paper. Black ink spews forth, and from this black ink…you can create whole worlds of fiction! Worlds that other people can interact with! 
We know that Gerson wrote beloved fiction well into his old age. What if he knew his time was coming, but still had stories to tell? What if he didn’t want to stop? Alvin says how his dust was sprinkled on a hammer and buried in the earth, and that this is considered the appropriate monster cultural ritual for helping a soul pass to the afterlife. But Alvin also appears to have done something that is still really troubling him. Maybe Alvin, either at his father's request or based on his own wants, didn’t actually follow the appropriate cultural funeral rites, and somehow helped his father’s soul attach to a different beloved object…a fountain pen that he’d use to write down his story ideas. And if that object gets brought to life with a dark fountain, you could get the Knight: the soul of a writer, filtered exclusively through their favorite writing tool, unwilling to stop creating.
I think it would make sense on a few logical and thematic levels:
It explains how the Knight is able to get around and open the fountains: the same way that Ralsei is able to do the weird things he does. They’re both Darkners carrying Lightner souls, so they can bend the rules.
It explains Queen’s insistence that Lightners are the ones that can create fountains, while King hates Lightners but seems to fully trust the Knight…a Darkner with a Lightner soul can meet both those people's expectations.  
It sets up the Knight as a foil to Ralsei: they’re both the same kind of special Dark World being, both believing that they are fulfilling their roles and serving the Lightners, but coming to vastly different conclusions about how to do that. 
It explains the Knight’s motivations: not that he’s actually trying to destroy the world or anything, but that he’s trying to serve the Lightners. He knows very well how much joy and positivity his fiction has brought to Lightners in the past. How could more of that be anything bad? This is his purpose, what he was made to do. Not doing it is virtually unthinkable.
And I think that in turn keeps him following in the footsteps of how Toby usually writes his villains…rarely if ever fully malicious, but utterly convinced that they’re doing the right thing, or that they have no choice in the matter. 
And of course that ties in with one of Deltarune’s themes: the balance between reality and fantasy. The Knight has no more ties with reality, and therefore is focused exclusively on creating more fantasy and having it supplant reality, upsetting the balance between them. 
And this is extremely speculative, but I've been thinking about how Toby mentioned that chapter three will be a bit of an odd one out, that it's more about trying weird things than advancing a lot of plot. Kind of an interesting thing to note since Kris just made a fountain that should take us into chapter three. If the Dark Worlds are in some way shaped by the will of the Lightner that makes them, then chapter three indicates that Kris's will manifests more as just...trying out stuff rather than something purposeful. Kris makes a fountain because they really want to keep up this special hangout with their friends. But the Knight? He's making narratives.
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Okay so here’s some more of my Ted talk, Illumi’s (one sided) relationship with Killua.
Illumi loves Killua but it’s deeper than that he’s obsessed with him, I think he loves Killua as a brother sure but he’s also jealous of Killua. Killua has everything Illumi could ever want and more. Their entire family adores Killua he’s their golden child, he’s the next heir to the family, his dad doesn’t get mad at him for breaking the rules he actually encourages it as long as he fulfills his purpose; to be the heir. In the Zoldyck family praise and attention is one of the many problems, if you stand out from the rest of your siblings you get the most attention. It’s a be the best get the best mentality so the kids are encouraged to push themselves, do whatever it takes just to be better than your siblings. I don’t wanna say it didn’t apply to Killua but he had so much potential that he didn’t have to try. Illumi had to try see this through the story in the Hunter exam for example Illumi sits at the front, he sits up straight he pays attention he does his best. Killua is also able to stand up to his parents, all the Zoldycks have been conditioned to blindly trust their parents but Killua breaks free of that. Illumi wasn’t able to do that.
Illumi understands why Killua is going to be the heir but it still makes him jealous, however he is unable to recognize his feelings as jealousy and perceives them as love. It’s not only that he is jealous of Killua he genuinely wants to be Killua but, he can’t so he tries to do the next best thing; control Killua. It doesn’t work so he uses nen. Illumi is so deep in his rabbit hole of hatred, jealousy, love, admiration and expectation. He loves Killua because he is his brother, he hates Killua because everyone loves Killua and Killua didn’t have to earn it, he’s jealous of Killua because he is everything he wants to be and he’s expected to love and train Killua, he’s expected to not have these other feelings.
Killua escaped the hell that his the Zoldyck mansion but Illumi didn’t. Killua isn’t fully broken down yet, in the Hunter exam Killua has the same feelings towards Gon. He wonders why everyone likes Gon because he’s not as strong as Killua but for some reason they all love him but Killua also likes him because he was nice to him, because he’s a good person. Killua and Illumi are actually very alike and Killua knows this. Illumi is also
The Zoldyck family dynamic is rooted in the characters trauma, it’s a cycle. Milluki is part of it however he is not as present because he recognizes he doesn’t like Killua.
The parents messed up Illumi and Milluki because that’s what they were told to do by their parents. (Okay new thought on this, Kikyo had Illumi at 18 and since she wasn’t born into the family she probably had to undergo training as well and that’s why she’s such a suffocating mother, she wanted to prove herself to the Zoldycks so she did the training would be my assumption anyway so I’m assuming she is also a victim but she still messed the children up bad along with her crap husband)
Illumi messed up Killua by not understanding his own emotions because the parents messed him up.
Killua messed up Alluka ( and Kalluto indirectly) by abandoning her, it was the best option but it still probably gave her abandonment issues.
And Alluka messed up Kalluto by being Killuas favorite. (It was not her fault more Killuas but Alluka is who Kalluto blames.)
Illumi is also jealous of Gon but he can recognize that because Gon isn’t related to him, he isn’t supposed to love Gon so he can hate him.
Illumi cannot be the Zoldyck heir because his nen is specifically made for manipulation and quickly killing something yes he can fight but it’s easily countered, Killuas nen is more broad and has a lot more uses in terms of he can fight a lot more opponents with a better chance of winning, Illumi it a very strong manipulator proved by Shalnark who says that a manipulator can’t use their nen if they don’t have their object (Illumi’s needles) which we see Illumi do York new when turning into Hisoka.
Anyway therapists in Hunter x Hunter are working overtime.
The Zoldyck family dynamic is so sad and I mean you can see it on the surface but going deeper into it, it just gets worse. I want to make it clear that NONE of the Zoldyck children are to blame they do not know any better and that Alluka didn’t do anything it’s just the way Kalluto perceives it. This doesn’t excuse what they’ve done but it makes sense of it at least.
Ps—
if anyone wants to make a hate squad for Kikyo and Silva I’m totally down.
Pps-
let me know if I missed anything
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jasontoddsotherhalf · 5 months ago
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A Short Simon Snow Character Analysis:
"Simon needed time. He needed care. He still startled at bright lights and sudden noises. And prolonged eye contact. He'd get jumpy when we were alone together." (Any Way The Wind Blows pg 85)
"On the worst days, on the even worse nights, I used to think about all the bad things that have happened to Simon– just the ones I know about. And then I'd wonder about all the terrible things that have happened to him that I DON'T know about. Twenty years of bad things. How long would it take for those painful memories to die back?" (Any Way The Wind Blows pg 86)
Simon is genuinely one of the saddest chosen ones I've ever read about, and I feel like its ignored by the fandom a lot. Like the book series is always portrayed as funny and light hearted and it is sometimes but at the root it's sad and heart wrenching. However, it's also really creative and has a tone of parallels and connections and like the whole concept of the chosen one fulfilling his purpose and no longer being needed anymore isn't used often. A lot of the times the Chosen one's issues aren't even addressed at ALL its just "Oh he went through a lot as a child but the bad guy is dead now and he got the girl (or guy) so it's fine, he's happy"
Simon was used by everyone his whole life. The Mage, the rest if the world of mages, even Penny and Agatha a bit too, (which Penny realizes and admits in AWTWB). Simon was left as a child at an orphanage where we really don't know much about his life, because he doesn't know much either. In Wayward Son, Simon talks to his therapist about not remembering a lot before he was 11 and she says the brain blocks out things that have traumatized or hurt us in the past. When Simon is 11 and comes to Watford, he speaks so little the teachers have to give him private lessons, and when that doesn't work he gets a speech therapist. A few other details a are given as well such as how Simon jumped from orphanages and Foster homes. All these allow us to infer that he didn't have a good childhood, and stuff probably happened to him.
The Mage becomes Simon's only father figure, and even then Simon says he never felt like a father. The Mage treated Simon like a weapon, and even lied to him about being his father. The Mage could have made things much easier for himself by raising Simon, but he chose to just leave him till he was 11 because he didn't feel like raising his own kid. "Maybe it's part of what the Mage did to me. He said he got me wrong, that I was a cracked vessel. I can't hold on to anything good." (AWTWB pg 65) the Mage only payed attention to Simon when it benefited him. Simon was an object to him, and if you remember in Carry On, it was obvious to literally everyone but Simon, who didn't want to believe he was being manipulated. It turned him into a killing machine.
Often times I feel as if the fandom portrays Simon as some talkative goofball, but that's completely ignoring his character. Simon says in Carry On that he doesn't think because in the end he just does what people tell him too. But that's not true. He does think, all the time, he just pushes away the stuff he doesn't want to think about, thinking about other things to muffle out these unwanted thoughts. Baz also says in Carry On that most conversations with Simon are just Simon shrugging. We feel as though Simon talks a lot because when it's his POV he's always rambling, but this is because Simon has a strong inner monolouge.
Simon had no adult figures in his life to lean on. Every character had someone, despite their maybe complex relationships. Baz has Fiona, and the two are close despite the tension and arguing. Penny has her mom and dad, despite their differences, they all love each other a ton. And Agatha has her parents, who do care about her. Simon never has a firm foundation. Not the Mage, Penny's mom barley likes him, Agatha's family only treats him well because he's the chosen one and dating Agatha, and Baz's family straight up despises him. Everyone else also has friends to lean on too, once you get later into the series. Agatha has a Ginger and even Penny, Penny has Baz and Shepard, Baz has Dev and Niall whom he chooses to sort of ghost, but also Penny. And they all have Simon. But I couldn't help but notice that whenever Simon tried to communicate, he was shut down.
Simon is bad at communicating. They all address this multiple times. But it's the fact that his friends don't even have faith that he'll survive. Multiple times from all POVS it talks about how everyone expected Simon to die, and they're all talking about how they would feel and how it affects them knowing that, but no one ever asked Simon. And Simon is aware of this too, but he just once again ignores it. No one wants a hero who's scared to die for his cause. Simon is shit at communication, but he has his own ways of showing that at least something IS wrong, that Penny and Baz have learned how to read, yet ignore when it's not convenient. Baz and Penny take Simon on a trip out to America, but it wasn't about Simon. Penny had ulterior motives, to see Micah and Agatha. Then the whole situation happened there, and though obviously Baz had nothing going on with Lamb, it clearly made Simon insecure and upset. But Baz just gets annoyed at him for it instead of trying to figure out the root of the issue.
A scene that always irked me in WS is the one where Simon comes back with his hair cut, after months of neglecting it because of his depression. And Baz says nothing, because he's too busy feeling sorry for himself. This may have seemed like a small thing but Simon literally couldn't leave the couch, for almost a year. His self hatred and issues were so bad he couldn't get up. So he finally makes this step, cutting his hair, trying to get better...and Baz basically ignores it.
Another thing is the end if WS when they're on the beach. Simon is trying to say how he feels, in his own way. That he isn't good enough for Baz, Baz should find someone else. And Baz just shuts him down, like he always does. Like he always does when Simon tries to communicate his feelings about being the chosen one, and what happened with the Mage. Then they get back to England, and Baz just acts like nothing happened. Simon shouldn't have ignored all his texts, and shouldn't have moved out leaving just a note, but he doesn't know how to communicate. No one taught him how to do this, all he knows is he needs to figure his shit out and no one currently in that situation, was really helping him.
I see a lot of people hating on AWTWB because Simon and Baz break up, because their relationship is admittedly toxic, and then get together the next day. But I think it makes perfect sense. They both love each other so so much, and they have an unhealthy attachment. Often with toxic relationships, especially when we love each other and want them to work out, we keep coming back in hopes of fixing things. Both boys have severe abandonment issues, and they don't want to loose each other.
I also see people hating on WS and AWTWB because Baz and Simon aren't all happy. Like legit, that is why I see those books getting the most hate. But it makes sense. People's pasts have an effect on them and how they behave. Simon killed the only father figure really he'd ever had. And he still doesn't understand the extent of abuse said man put him through. Simon doesn't know how to put himself first. Like when they're fighting the vampire's in WS, and simon is on the brink of death, he STILL stands up because that's what people have expected him to do all his life. Baz wants everything to be okay and happy and ignore their issues, because that's what they've done his whole life in his family, ignoring problems like him being a vampire. And what Simon desperately needs is to approach his, but he doesn't know how deep his issues run, except that he's a broken, fucked up, mess. He has ptsd, depression, and anxiety, and doesn't know how to help himself.
Overall, Simon's character holds a complexity that often times I see ignored. The story is romantic, and cute. I love Snowbaz as much as the next person. But you can't fully appreciate the story until you actually understand the depth of the characters, especially starting with Simon Snow.
Thank you, have a nice day <3
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