#he's a really cool person and i love him
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I just remembered that i one day wasn't wearing my glasses bc i was coming back from taking a bath so i came back to me and my parents room and i saw what i thought was a cat and said: "Ooh look, there's a little kitty here!!" And my dad looked at me, really confused, and said: "That's a sock... Is that really how it feels like to have vision problems?"
And i just thought about it, and i realized that THAT'S SUCH A KWAZII/SHELLINGTON INTERACTION, LIKE??? Kwazii would totally say what my dad said and it's so funny to me 😭‼️
#octonauts#the octonauts#text post#octonauts kwazii#kwazii#kwazii cat#octonauts shellington#shellington#shellington sea otter#kwazton#not really but i'll leave that to y'alls interpretation :]#also dw#my dad was genuinely asking!!#he's a really cool person and i love him#he just doesn't have a filter sometimes. But that's ok#it happens to me too T_T
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Gregory fears FNAF DJ music man...Abby does not
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#abby schmidt#fnaf gregory#dj music man#security breach#fnaf fanart#MUSIC MANNNNNNN 🔥🔥🔥#finally Abby formally meeting DJ music man#I just know in my heart Abby would love DJ#like DJ music man is cool dude just vibes and makes beats#he’s also just really impressive due to his size and all#GREGORY ON the other hand I don’t think is as excited to see him#WHICH IS fair seeing he was chased by the guy#almost getting crushed I think would ruin anyone’s impressions on a person#BUT DJ music man is chill promise Gregory 🙏🏾#just jam out with him he’s chill like that
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More doodles!
First we have tiny Stanley and Narrator because small :)
I really enjoy the hc that after Stanley leaves the parable he goes and gets a job that requires manual labor or as a florist. I feel like he would want to detach himself from office work as much as possible, even if there’s som layer of attachment due to familiarity. I really love this small doodle because I managed to successfully use more interesting lighting which is something I’m trying to improve.
References for all the drawings
#tsp#the stanley parable#tspud#tsp narrator#tsp stanley#tsp timekeeper#tsp settings person#tsp mariella#tsp curator#tsp oc#digital art#sketch#art meme#my art#I love these silly guys#I’m thinking of redrawing the ‘removed by the omnipotent author’ drawing#I think it could look cool#I am really proud of the drawing of Stanley holding the plant#It feels so warm to me#like it’s sunset and he’s finishing rearranging things to close#and someone walks in or starts talking to him#I love thinking about what he’d do after leaving the parable#so many people have come up with wonderful ideas!#I like him being a florist#or a construction worker#or in contrast to what I said earlier an editor#or some kind of office work because it’s what he knows#tiny Stanley and Narrator#because silly :)#not curator w/ the triangle soup
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saikis powers are a vital part of him so it makes sense that people who dont know about them cant truly understand his whole self, but its also very silly to me when people act like its the ONLY important part of him... people act like his friends that arent in the know are completely blind to who saiki is, but i feel like that kinda means you missed some major points... he cant keep his powers a secret forever and it DOES matter, but he can still be loved and KNOWN without knowing about them... hes still human, he still has a personality, he still has regular likes and dislikes, etcetc
his friends perspectives on him may have been wrong at first, but they CHANGED... they know him and love him, and theyll KEEP loving him the SAME once they know of his powers...
some people cough cough cough in this fandom like to reduce saiki to JUST his powers and its so obvious that you just. missed everything. you didnt absorb anything from the show, you just saw it and went "ha, everyone thinks hes just a guy when hes actually super cool and powerful" no no no, he IS cool and powerful but look a little closer and at his core he is still LITERALLY JUST A GUY 😭😭😭
hes such a guy.....
#idk this goes back to how i think its weird that people think how he treats toritsuka is 'his true personality coming out'#like ?? hes a dick to him because he deserves it. not because saiki is a dick.#'so sad how his other friends only know him as a boring introvert' hey idk how to tell you this but hes actually still that#he may be more fun and childish and silly than most of his friends know#but above all hes still an introvert who loves sitting in his house and doing nothing#his favorite hobbies besides that are video games and coffee jelly#i fear you may be the one who doesnt understand saiki if you think the two sides of him his different friends see cant coexist#hes still the same guy#even the people who are in the know see a limited side of saiki#i fear akechi is the only person who gets to see all of him#and even that has a limit. i guess i wouldnt say 'all' but both sides#'the mixer scene was just teruhashi showing she doesnt know anything abt him since she thinks he would just sit there' yk what. dont pmo.#that is quite literally just factually what he WOULD HAVE BEEN DOING#even around everyone who knows about his powers#what the fuck else would saiki be doing??? singing and doing standup ?????#no dude. hes fun and likes singing and is funny and likes showing off but not in that way and definitely not in that setting#if u genuinely believe saiki would be the life of the party at a mixer instead of just sitting there making the occasional sarcastic commen#then youve severely misjudged him😭#what version of saiki k did you even watch actually#'the awesome cool nonchalant life of saiki k'#sorry this is really just a rant above all else#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post#meownalysis
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one of the true highlights of the qsmp was introducing non-french speakers to how fucking awesome and hilarious etoiles is
#this was gonna be a post about etoiles and roier but then i started thinking about how well that man gets on with everyone and im emotional#started thinking about roier and him in purgatory#about cellbit during the fruit mountain competition telling him hed simply cancel any competition if etoiles couldnt make it#about phil and fit and etoiles goofing on the server#about tubbo making an etoiles soundboard and dancing around the server pretending to be him#about him telling tallulah to simply kill everyone (in minecraft)#about his endless journey to totally perfect every armor and weapon stat mathematically (“um actually this is better you know”)#about me doing my own modded minecraft world and realizing he was right - the nether is really cool with those mods :)#about how loved the lil cucumber man is by anyone and everyone who meets him#qsmp#qsmp etoiles#etoiles#i miss the determined cucumber :(#his league streams will do i guess (the only person i will watch LoL for lmaoooo)#pleasr excuse this post that is only gushing about etoiles. after all. He is The Best.
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Seeing Silco and Vander together in the AU lowkey feels like watching your based nonbinary best friend get back with their shitty ex boyfriend who misgenders them. Girl he's a centrist and he tried to drown you stfu about "forgiveness"
#tumblr is aware of the “afab nonbinary starts dating a straight man and goes back to she/her pronouns to appease him” phenomena yes?#like oh you used to be an awesome revolutionary and in this au you've stamped out everything radical about yourself to get back w this man#like I LOVE zaundads conceptually its such a brilliant interesting dynamic and it is cool that they get their lil family#but it also I feel just shows how much the writers fucking hate silco lol. if he wants a relationship w his daughter he has to give up on#revolution and forgive his fuckass murder centrist ex. okayyyy stop. silco needs better standards for himself#esp with the knowledge that vander had been the only person who really respected silco. like i know its hard to believe but you can in fact#do better. you don't have to forgive domestic violence man. there are people out there who will respect and support you and your revolution#and not try to kill you. people have mistreated you but it isnt your fault and you deserve a based non-murderous bf#arcane#silco#silco arcane#arcane critical#? i guess#i dont know if i want to ship tag. i need you all to know that i do like the ship i just wish the writers werent cringe so they couldve been#back together because VANDER realised that he was cringe and wrong and not bc silco gave up on his ideals#errgg fuck it#zaundads
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It's quite funny having followed you for years and years and knowing Machete as his dark, bloodied, cunning (and always on the edge of getting horribly murdered for his hubris) incarnation, and coming into 2024 and just... yeah he's gay now. Maybe he's even happy. Redemption at last... perhaps he DID get assassinated indeed and all those AUs are just his personal afterlife (does he get to go to Heaven? Seems so!)
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#redemption at last#personally I've always known he isn't as cool and cunning as he pretends to be#but when he didn't have anyone to interact with the dorkier more humane side never surfaced#the art I made of him was overwhelmingly serious and angry and sad and portrayed him in a more mysterious light#I didn't really talk about him or answer asks about what his deal is#(or any of my characters for that matter for years I just didn't feel comfortable opening up about them)#which is fine on it's own but I think he's currently benefitting from having a wider spectrum of emotions to choose from#doesn't mean that the dark bloodied cunning version is outdated I think these are traits that can coexist in a single character#answered#anonymous#but in a way seeing that he can be happy caring and genuine and gets tummy aches and likes snails and fresh bread#and has a small handful of loved ones and these positive qualities you might've not known about before#makes the misery more potent when they are taken away from him#at least in my opinion
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TWST fic writers stop reducing Silver’s entire personality to just “sleepy boy who falls asleep all the time and is sooooo sleepy and tired and did i mention he sleeps a lot and also he loves his dad” challenge (impossible) (gone wrong)
#also if u portray him as LIKING sleep i will personally bite you#and before u say ‘oh but he really doesnt have a personality besides those traits’ that is incorrect#he’s blunt and honest to the point where he can come off as rude#he’s calm and collected and keeps a cool head even during an emergency#he’s a drama queen and often takes things too seriously#he’s not stupid exactly but can be very naive and doesn’t understand relationships very well#he’s extremely passive and rarely stands up for himself#he finds ways to blame himself for things that arent his own fault#he deeply admires and respects people who are strong and protective of their loved ones#he’s selfless and always tries to do what he considers to be the ‘right’ thing#he has a lot of trouble expressing his emotions and is insecure abt others not taking him seriously#he is so much more than just ‘precious sleepy boi uwu’#or atleast thats my interpretation of him idk u guys can do whatever you want#it just bugs me when ppl misinterpret his character so badly#this is what 2 years of hyperfixation will do to a person#twisted wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#twst silver#twst analysis#diasomnia#character analysis
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OC
#my characters#mmofail#HIS name is Beta Burst but he is played by a woman named Haley#and shes chill correcting people that hes a she irl but also just doesnt mind which pronouns people use online#irl though shes a she/her through and through#also she tells one of her employees at work (shes a manager at a convenience store) to get a hobby or find a fun online game#cause he always looks super tired and he tells her he doesnt wanna socialize out of work in person people are tiring#and then hes like hmmmm a hobby or game hmmm#and then he gets the same game and goes on the same server and lets his sister design his character#while he naps then he just picks a name and chooses ETA 1400 bc he works overnight and if he logs in#he plans to log in at like 2pm so why not make that his name#however there is a guild owner who wants to collect all the greek letters (her own name in game is Omega Rising)#so she makes the executive decision to include eta 1400 and when he and beta are talking one day in game#hes like oh yeah im just playing cause my boss at work told me i needed a hobby#and beta is like oh shit thats me im the boss who told him he needs a hobby#so eta starts calling beta boss in game just like he calls her irl#and its just a nice lil friendship and shes happy when eta starts to make friends in the guild#he still has a lost lil puppy like following vibe when hes around boss but eta does do some growing socially#mostly with betas friends in the guild which are: a guy with no backbone and a guy playing a girl who doesnt tell anyone shes a he#anyway thank you thats my oc essay tags and i love beta and shes just really funny to me#bc she just is there to vibe and play pvp#which the horn lore is those are high ranking pvp rewards for heavy blade users#and when eta finds out the pvp reward for a healer is a bloodied crown#hes like please please please help me learn pvp that sounds really cool ill do my best boss
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Ride 767: Rivalry between warlords
Pag 2
1: Hahaha!
2: Two people are coming up!!
Who is it?
What a force!
Uh... those jerseys... that orange hair....!!
3: It's Sohoku's second year, Kaburagi!!
Hahaha, sorry for the wait! A hero always arrives late!!
Pag 3 / 4
They gathered from all over the country.... to decide the strongest in Japan!!
Pag 5
1: Two people from Sohoku caught up to the lead!!
Uh... Sohoku
Sohoku... and it's two of them!!
2: Senpai, is he strong?
That's the guy who last year competed until the end against Hakogaku for the sprint battle of the first day!!
3: I'll say it again
4: Hahaha, sorry for the wait! A hero always arrives late!!
He really said it a second time!! Does he like that sentence so much!?
Pag 6
1: “Join the lead” completed, Issa!!
Hahaha just as we planned, Danchiku!!
Pag 7
6: Senpai, the fact that they're here
7: means that are chances of winning are lower, right? It means big troubles for us, who used our legs, jumped ahead and got here with so much efforts, right!?
8: That's not a “hero” at all!! Rather, it's the opposite!!
Pag 8
1: Come forward if you wanna be defeated
2: Such an overwhelming confidence!! What arrogant attitude!! Ug!! Ah!?
3: But, somehow, he's a little cool!!
4: Wait wait wait
Wait!!
Pag 9
1: Small, small
You're small!! Sohoku!!
Ah?
2: A man's strength is “thickness”!!
3: Oh
4: Just now there was a guy from Nagoya who also didn't know
Just
5: Tch
6: I wanna make you understand by strength!!
Pag 10
1: Look at this thick neck!!
2: This thick waist!!
3: If you ride a first-class road-bike you should understand too!!
A thick waist is the trunk of your body!! And the trunk is the most important muscle to turn your legs and move your bike forward!!
4: And then, the “neck”!!
5: The heaviest part of the body.... the head accounts for one-fifth of the body
And it supports it from the side!! In other sports, the head is supported by the spine, only in cycling it's supported only by your neck's muscles!! That thickness stabilizes all your movements!!
6: These two things are “thick”!!
Do you understand what it means?
7: Kaburagi-kun!!
Pag 11
1: Let's race!!
2: No need for words, let's speak with our legs!!
How 'bout until the second roadsign!?
4: No problem
5: I'll entertain you!!
6: You'll recognize the “thickness”!!
7: The race between those two is starting!!
Pag 12
1: The thickest volcano in Japan is Sakurajima!!
Pag 13
1: The thickest radish in Japan is the Sakurajima radish
2: Kagoshima's Oosumi jumped ahead!!
Oosumi-kun!! His killer phrase came out!!
3: An explosive acceleration, just like a volcano's eruption!!
4: And his trunk.... his thick trunk
5: is moving forward like a log in a flowing in rapids!!
Pag 14
1: They call me “the raging log of Kagoshima, Oosumi”!!
My way of running is crushing everything!!
2: On the other hand, Sohoku's Issa got a late start!!
3: And his pedaling doesn't even have any explosive power
4: Is his condition not good!?
Pag 15
1: He's pedaling so... unconcerned...
He's just pedaling.... huh!?
4: and yet....
6: He caught up to Oosumi!!
7: H-
Pag 16
1: How!!
2: Your power is “thick” but your power loss is “thick” too
The really fast pedaling... haven't you heard it?
3: Is the one that appears weak at first glance
5: Is that the second roadsign?
6: Since you got here
7: I'll show you
8: He raised his hips from the saddle
Pag 17
1: Hoooooooo
2: My explosive acceleration!!
3: Ra!!
5: Ngh....!!
He's getting smaller in the blink of an eye.....
Pag 19
2: He accelerated with a popping sound!?
3: Hahaha, so how was it?
4: My Special Strong acceleration, that's had another power up since last year?
5: Sohoku defeated Kagoshima!!
The raging log!! And with a huge margin, even!!
Oosumi-kun!!
So strong... is he really a hero?
Pag 20
1: As expected by Issa
You sure show your strength during a “race”
2: Your high power, judgment, and wild instincts are first class
3: With this performance, you erased
4: this leading group's will to fight!!
5: There's 6km left until the...
6: sprint line!!
Pag 21
1: (Kaburagi and Danciku
Leading group)
We've passed a group of some people while coming here, but as expected there's no one else....
2: who will catch u.....
6: ….. Sohoku
Somehow
8: This pressure!!
Pag 22
1: Hakogaku's Doubashi!!
Pag 23
1: Yo!! It's been a while, orange!!
2: I came here to shoot you down!!
3: Thick!! Who is this thick guy!!
4: Ha.... Hakone Acedmy in a moment like this!!
5: What's with this pressure
6: He caught up? Until here and on his own!!
7: Ugh!!
What do we do, Issa!!
Pag 24
1: I won't forgive you...
I'll never forgive you....!!
3: You've arrived after me and so now I look like less of a hero!!
#yowamushi pedal#yowamushi pedal translations#yowapeda#yowamushi pedal manga#yowapeda manga#yowamushi pedal spoilers#ride 767#kaburagi is the most annoying person ever i ADORE him#also i love the others' reaction to him in this chap#they all know hes ridiculous but also hes kinda cool isnt him#also thick guy creeps me out sorry lmao good job kabu in teaching him a lesson#AND NOW WE BEGIN WITH THE REAL RACEEEEEE#i really have no idea how this will go#on one hand i think kabu might win bc this is his revenge after last year#but also#with this ih watanabe really decided to be unpredictable so WHO KNOWS#and also theres Kiji???? i kind of have a feeling kiji is gonna win everything this first day
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People can point to Limited Life as the flower husbands divorce season all they want but imo it is THE BEST version of FH. They might have divorced TO YOU. But I see them secretly making out behind a wall
#trafficshipping#flower husbands#LIKE DONT GET ME WRONG. I totally understand and respect the ‘Jimmy not saying ILY back is his way of saying he doesn’t care about Scott’#I think it’s cool when ppl do stuff with that idea!! but like!! if u REALLYY look at the context it seems pretty clear to ME at least that#that was a Bad Boy thing not a personal divorce thing#I mean. that is their ONE AND ONLY negative interaction THE WHOLE SEASON. and Jimmy literally TELLS him that it’s because ‘bad boys don’t#love anyone (except their mothers)’. like idk guys. as much as I love the idea of it being Jimmy shunning Scott for how mean he was in 3L it#just doesn’t really work as a pivotal character moment when ALL OF THEIR OTHER INTERACTIONS THAT SEASON contradict it.#and YES when I say LimL is the best version of FH I am including 3L. LimL!FH tops 3L!FH no competition#idk. I guess all I’m REALLY saying is. I would love to see some LimL!FH that isn’t angst
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ok but literally the worst thing spn did imo is the angels falling at the end of s8. I hated it so much. I hated it. I watched up to season TWELVE ONLY because I was hoping they would fix it but they didn't because the writers didn't even have a good idea for getting out of that situation so they just basically left it alone. It was horrible. Castiel you didn't deserve all of that, they used you so they could have a dramatic season finale and nothing else
#i was#SO upset#I'm still upset#on one hand i can understand and also appreciate how that gave Castiel SO much character development and#just changed him so much#and if I had a character like him i would probably also do something similar but i just#personally i hate it so much and cas should've never lost his grace like that and never even fully recovered it#they only did it so he wouldn't be OP against the monsters cause it's#hard to figure out a reason for cas to be there and not just kill any monster in a second you know#ughhhh#i hate it so muchh#i wanted him to be a bamf#i loved him as he wasss#I didn't want him to become more human i think it's cool that he couldn't really GET IT#URGGHHHHH#HELP MEEEEE IM SO UPSET ABOUT IT AGAINNN#also just#making angels into run of the mill monster of the week characters ughhhh noooooo#although I did like all the drama with like factions and stuff it was interesting#but in general#NOOOOO#ughhhhhhhhhhh#does anyone get me does anyone see meee
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I just remembered a really funny story from comic-con. i got to meet hamish steele (deadendia/dead end creator) and me and a couple of other people at their booth got chatting about the musical episode, and he told us about how apparently they got patrick stump involved after he auditioned for one of the regular roles. then at the end of making it he gave hamish tickets to his band, and hamish hadn't heard of fall out boy and thought patrick would just be performing at a little club or something
#personal crap#dead end paranormal park#deadendia#he does quite a lot of uk cons and he's lovely (hamish not patrick stump)#i got a courtney plushie from there and she's superb#plus they do these really cool doctor who and godzilla prints they drew (i got the dw one last time i saw him actually)
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hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?
hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].
but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.
it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.
and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.
the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.
an emptiness, like you said.
but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.
you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.
he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.
but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.
how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.
the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.
think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.
i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.
but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.
as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛
#q&a.#birdsong.#wishing u gentle ease; the death of a loved one is near inexplicable to put into words and i hope you take care of yourself gently <3#i hope this will make u laugh: when i was a tiny child in middle school there were times i would go outside in my tiny suburban cul de sac-#in the rain and sing along to my lil ipod nano and i only remember doing this to drops of jupiter. can you imagine going out to get the mai#after a long day of work and you just hear this kid singing train in the streets. in the RAIN.... it makes me laugh like i really.#i really thought i was so cool and deep and emotional ghjkd but i find it v funny that i only remember it w/ that one train track.#and saturn just. it's my fav s.a.l. song for a reason. that slow violin opening? the piano coming in gentle and easy?#it feels like light. like hope. like something new - a dawn after the long dark. that beautiful things can begin again even where#it hurts. and there is nothing more human than a sentiment like that.#how rare and beautiful it is to truly exist. what it is to be alive and get to be here and live with other people. with those we love.#i think your grandfather was so lucky to be able to know you. to have you in his life for the time you had together.#i'm no spiritual person; but i like to believe when you're thinking about him? he's thinking about you too.#the second law of thermodynamics (physics nerd mode) is that no energy has ever been created/destroyed since the beginning of the universe.#so it has to go somewhere - it's that carl sagan quote of 'we're all made of stardust'. because we are. we used to be stars; planets; etc.#i think it's why i think of these space songs - because they're a part of everything; once more; when they go. us and everything else.
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Okay so like. I still haven't managed to get myself to finish episode 9, so I don't fully know how Theo's glow up finishes, but regardless I fucking love relistening to Emizel's section of episode 1 and like. Fuck man Theo does a lot of growing. Like he's a little bit pathetic at the beginning of the series. He's so, so brave during the alleyway fight, but he sounds shaky and scared and like a sopping wet pathetic baby the entire time. Charlie specifically describes him as not very alert, not a great fighter, and gives him this little moment where it takes him a second to manage to crush a soda can. He botches the check to beat Emizel in Smash Bros so there's a chance he sucks at the related skills (dexterity and computers I think?), but also after he loses Charlie specifically has him sound super frustrated and conclude that he should've 'stayed in his lane'. When Emizel says 'We'll do what we do best,' and Theo immediately responds with 'drink soda?' so fast that the other players notice it. Charlie might've had that as a predetermined character thing. Theo drinks soda. There's not much else to him.
Which creates this interesting dynamic between him and Emizel, because Emizel is so much better at him at all of these skills that the people around them (a FUCKING GANG) value. Emizel's perceptive, and agile, and strong, and a great fucking fighter irl and in videogames AND he always sounds badass. He's the top dog, the apex predator in their social circle. And I think that colors their relationship a lot? Like Theo has to look up to Emizel. I bet that Theo's looked up to Emizel since they first met, maybe Emizel came crashing into his life doing something epic and Theo thought it was the greatest shit ever.
On the flip side, I was getting a few hints of resentment? Hear me out! It's that 'should have just stayed in my lane' line. He's painfully aware how great Emizel is, compared to how much he's (from his perspective!) just a one trick pony. He's here to drink soda and say funny things, that's all most people want from him and he fucks up whenever he tries to do anything else!
And later in the segment Theo snarkily brings up a medicine check that Emizel had just fucked up in like this super backhanded, super passive aggressive way. That could be him wanting to rub Emizel's one singular fuck up in his face (especially because Theo was having a Moment about how he feels like people only see him as the soda guy, so any feelings of inadequacy would've been dialed up to eleven, so if there was any time for him to resent Emizel it'd be then), but it could also be that he was frustrated with Emizel being an ass (Emizel had just guessed that Theo's dream was to be a nurse, which was flat out wrong, and that's literally what set up the backhanded comment. Theo was saying something like 'thank fuck you don't wanna be a nurse cuz you sure fucked up with nursing that guy earlier.' It could also be that Emizel literally almost forgot Theo's name. Theo literally gave him the 'th' sound, it might've just been a bit Charlie was doing or it could've been Theo being AWARE that Emizel almost forgot his name. Or! It could be that in this moment, where Theo was confiding in Emizel about feeling like being the soda guy was all anyone ever saw in him, Emizel said something to the affect of 'well yeah Soda's the fun one.' Emizel doesn't think before he speaks and literally has a 1 in empathy. Just because he loves Theo doesn't mean he's not gonna blunder into being a complete and utter asshole to him. I'd hazard to say Emizel accidentally being an ass to people he cares about is a running theme).
But also all of that might come down to Charlie still getting the character down. Or, because I've theorized before that Theo might not've been supposed to survive the first Gabriel fight, the little hints of bitterness might've been intentional (even if they were completely improvved and Charlie didn't mean to add that to Theo's character) because Charlie was trying to shove as much character into this character before he was gone, but once it became clear that Theo was going to stick around longer he dropped it. As far as I remember, that bitterness is completely gone in all later interactions we see with Theo. OR! It could be that the bitterness drops because they've both got bigger fish to fry from that point onward, what with Theo's Shilo Incident TM, Emizel's vampirism, the Weylin twins. He doesn't have time to be bitter, he's too busy worrying about losing a cornerstone of his identity or helping his best friend adjust to being a fucking vampire now. And then after he learns to live without soda that basically negates his feelings of inadequacy- like, getting over the idea that he's nothing if he's not the soda guy would be required for him to give up on being the soda guy. And then Emizel would drift back into JUST being a guy to aspire to instead of also being a reminder of Theo's short comings, and then drift even further down into being 'guy who is actually going through it and has to overcome his own demons just like I had to overcome mine'. Like, I think we got to watch Theo slowly start to take Emizel off this pedestal in real time (he still definitely thinks Emizel's hot shit tho. Emizel's his boy, after all.)
Regardless, even if Theo did resent Emizel a little in the beginning, it's so fucking clearly overshadowed by how much he fucking loved him. And like, how could he not? Imagine you're Theo, critically low self esteem, and the literal coolest guy you know fucking LOVES you. Like, Emizel keeps consistently going out of his way to pull Theo up to his level and to treat him as an equal (mostly. Sometimes protectiveness bleeds through, like in his hypothetical fang scenario in ep 1 where he predicts there being five Fangs to fight and he says he can take three and Theo can take two (which in itself is still incredibly kind to Theo. Like, boy, you thought Theo was gonna be able to take out two whole guys? Hell no.) But that could also be chalked up to Emizel just being a cocky ass who wants to show off). Like dude, c'mon. Emizel might be a reminder of everything that Theo's not, but he's also probably Theo's biggest cheerleader. He wholeheartedly thought he was being supportive when he said he thought Theo'd make a great nurse! In all seriousness, though, even if it ultimately discourages him, Theo playing that Smash game against Emizel was at least a little bit of proof of him decidedly not 'staying in his lane,' and Emizel seems to inspire that! Later in that segment he challenges Theo to see which of them can break one of the Fangs kneecaps first! I bet Emizel challenged him to stupid competitions a lot, and that got Theo fired up and competitive in return!
And even when Emizel's not building Theo up, he's still giving Theo special attention, or readily receiving any attention Theo gives him. If nothing else, even at his lowest points that might've made Theo feel cool by association.
On Emizel's part, I think he's like, possibly completely oblivious to any turmoil Theo's going through? Like he thinks Theo's the shit and genuinely sees him as an equal. I'm 99% sure that Theo being his right hand man happened because Theo would've put himself into the role (in episode one before he gets all of his character development he's pretty much always looking to Emizel for what to do, and still more or less does whatever he says up to where I'm at in the series, with refusing to leave the alleyway being the only exception I remember). I think if Theo'd had higher self esteem or been less eager to defer to Emizel, Emizel would've happily gone about his business slotting Theo into more of a partner role. He tells Theo to run from that alleyway because Theo'd taken a fucking devastating hit and Emizel was sure he could handle himself, not because he knows Theo sucks at fighting. He tries to turn Theo into a cool vampire. He convinces Shilo that Theo'll be a valuable asset to raiding the Weylin warehouse and they take Theo with them instead of having him stay behind with the car like Grefgore, despite Theo being the one who actually knows how to drive. He tells Theo about being a vampire even though he keeps it a secret from everyone else, confides in Theo that 'yeah he might absolutely be susceptible to going into a frenzy like Shilo did.'
When you get down to it, Emizel pretty much tells Theo everything he would think is relevant, with two notable exceptions. Maybe three if you count him not telling Theo he has nine lives like a cat but tbh I think he might've just forgot. Or maybe he gets to it later, or maybe he did tell him and I forgot! idk man! But! Those other two things. First off, he like. Pointedly does not tell Theo that he's a prince. Like when they were doing the recap on the way to the Weylin warehouse, there's like. Charlie gives Condi an opening to say it, a little 'is there anything else?' and Emizel just. Doesn't. And the second one is that (at least where I'm at) Emizel never comes clean about bloodbonding Theo. Maybe it just hasn't come up yet, but still. It fits a pattern of Emizel not wanting to admit something that makes him, like, ABOVE Theo somehow. He sees Theo as an equal, and a precious one at that, he doesn't want things to get weird between them because he's literal royalty, and he doesn't want Theo's life to literally revolve around him like it would under a level three blood bond- and doesn't want to admit that he even considered it, even if he did it without really understanding what it was.
And Emizel backing off from ghoulifying Theo after Arthur explains what it actually entails kinda leads into a far more headcanon-y relationship analysis thing so um. Feel free to skip the next paragraph.
So! Like. Why the fuck was Emizel so attached to Theo being Soda. Like he gets over it decently quick, cuz that's his buddy and it's what Theo wants, so like. Whatever. But like, if I'm right about Theo always looking up to Emizel from the moment they met, there might've been some wiggle room between when they first became friends and when Theo became Soda. And like, before Theo became Soda, being Emizel's buddy would probably be the only thing he'd feel he had going for him? Which would've made it even harder for Emizel to get them both on equal footing, and I think that's just... really unappealing to him. Like! Don't get me wrong, I'm sure Emizel loves having people kiss up to him and respect him and blah blah blah, I just think Theo being his boy and Emizel treating him like a partner go hand in hand. Either they weren't best friends yet or Emizel was just. Kind of uncomfortable and eager to push Theo into growing into something more than a hypeman. And then the soda incident occurs, and it gives Theo SOMETHING to define himself by, something people like him and know him for that's got nothing to do with Emizel, and maybe the initial soda incident was bad, but having that sense of identity and falling into what kind've feels like a class clown kinda role might've helped get Theo over his self esteem issues long enough for Emizel to go 'oh you're actually super cool. sweet.' and then blah blah blah they get super close like they are in canon. And then whenever Theo seems like he's backsliding into what he was before the soda incident, Emizel tries to course correct not because he doesn't think Theo's any fun without soda, but because he's made the mental connection that Soda without soda turns into less of a best friend and more of a follower, which as stated before he probably really doesn't want from Theo specifically. but idk. pure conjecture here.
Anyways, above all else, Theo's important to Emizel. I really, really like the idea that Theo was supposed to be like a brother to him (which. Again pointing at my 'Theo was supposed to die in episode 1' theory, can you IMAGINE the angst Emizel could've had about that? Lose one brother and then someone else claiming to be your brother shows up? It would've felt like some hellish, not-worth-it trade. Like a betrayal, like accepting Shilo might mean replacing Theo, and how could he ever?)
And Emizel's important to Theo! But unlike Emizel (who I'm 99% sure is gonna have some kinda moment with Theo but I genuinely cannot see him loving Theo in any other way than the way he does now), Theo has the bonus of having his view of Emizel have a clear trajectory to evolve over the course of the campaign. Like I said, he seems to be getting more confidence in himself and like, not gonna get into the stuff I've had spoiled beyond episode 9 but it seems like Theo's gonna get a lot more comfortable being a proper leader and not just a number two. He's gonna have an easier time seeing Emizel as an equal, and I think that's fucking awesome!
I could be completely off base, but if I never watch another episode then I'll never be proven wrong. So. Ya know.
#jrwi the suckening#emizel tucker#jrwi emizel tucker#jrwi soda#jrwi theo collins#theo collins#suckening thoughts#fizzfangs#jrwi the suckening spoilers#I also personally headcanon that Theo might've been like the first person to think Emizel was cool. Like. okay hang on.#I think Emizel didnt get a lot of attention growing up and learned to act out to get peoples eyes on him. Which fixed the first issue but#created a new one where all attention he got was negative attention#and then younger Theo who still feels painfully mediocre (in a way that TOTALLY wouldnt tie into him being neurodivergent adhd in canon)#and Theos getting negative attention without even trying. maybe its because his grades suck. Maybe he gets distracted or fidgety and gets#detention from being disruptive or for being accidentally disrespectful and Emizels also in detention because he blew up all the school#toilets and flooded the building. and more importantly Emizel is EMBRACING the negative attention that Theo cant seem to avoid#And it makes Emizel seem really fucking cool and Theo thinks hes really fucking epic and starts following him around and hyping him up#and then its genuinely the most positive attention Emizels ever gotten and he fucking eats it up. it pushes him to show off and go bigger#and it also gets Theo a very very special place in Emizel's heart. its just that Theo being kinda mediocre makes it really hard to hype#him up back the same way. Except- ya know- Theo fucking loves soda so Emizel can insta-win at positive social interaction if he keeps soda#on him#its like one of those kids who give out candy because they dont know how to make friends#Emizel give Theo soda because he genuinely doesn't have a frame of reference for a wholey positive relationship yet#and then whatever the soda incident is kinda just solidifies it. He's his boy Soda! Soda's his thing! Emizel loves him so much!#idk man this is all headcanon territory im just going insane am i even making sense rn#goddammit this might age like milk i have GOT to finish the suckening so i can brainrot properly
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cressida's storyline was genuinely shameful tbhhh it's like they started rewriting it in the first half of the season then completely forgot about the changes they'd made to make it fit the book plot and it just ends up making everyone else look bad😐 every character in the second half got a "penelope did nothing wrong" lobotomy so we ended up with eloise completely ignoring cressida being sold off to an horrible man (when she made every effort to support her in the first half of the season) and for some reason resenting her for pretending to be lady whistledown? Then they somehow frame her ignoring colin's offensively bad pleas as it being her turning away from redemption when all she's trying to do is escape being trapped in the country with her likely abusive aunt... and it ends with her meeting her horrible fate and it still being framed as tragic only to immediately juxtapose it with the bridgerton family winning the idgaf war while gleefully seeing off francesca and her future dead husband. The bridgertons were the villains of the season frfr
#bridgerton#almost as bad as marina's plot in season one. every horrible decision in this show revolves around penelope meeting no consequences ever#this is not an anti post or anything idc about the fandom ill forget about this show tomorrow but i need to get this off my chest#they had to give penelope a fairy tale ending WHICH IS FINE but they somehow did it by surgically removing everyone's personality#INCLUDING HERS#benedict's bi storyline was bad also im sorry. paul literally has like 4 lines of dialogue and he was really cool#i love tilley but she should have been cut😭 if they wanted to establish he was bi (given we know theyre not genderbending sophie)#they should have made the whole subplot about him being attracted to a man instead of a 5 minute footnote in the last episode#i liked francesca and her husband whose name idr but it felt like they were framing it as him not being her 'great love'#considering what happens to him i fjnd it childish and meanspirited soul mates aren't real and he deserves a lttl respect considering.. lmao#what else. the dialogues were horrible. especially the ones between penelope and colin in the second part im sorry#they need to fire the make up and hair department. every reference to queen charlotte felt like a wahh pls watch my show ad#i miss anthony they should change the books to make him the villain of every season bb please come back to ruin your sibilings relationships#portia and philippa were peak as always. violet deserves her own season. we need to put eloise out of her misery pls leave her in scotland#rant overrr#publishing it on my sideblog actually i feel like im gonna lose followers just for having watched this show lmaoo
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