#he's a TRAGEDY obviously i love him

[thatswhatsushesaid]

psa that the day there are no jgy stans left on tumblr dot com is the day i am dead

but rest assured i'll go to my grave exactly as i lived: obnoxiously proclaiming to everyone within earshot how great lianfang-zun is. narratively, metaphorically, spiritually. sexually, too, like why limit myself. i like to keep my options open

[hollenka99]

What I thought Bad Touch was going to be: Siffrin is going to finally grow comfortable enough to be touched more and he's going to finally tell Isa that it's cool to touch his shoulder. It will be a really nice bonding moment between them. I can't wait to reach this part of the game :D

Bad Touch:

Me: D:

[quietwingsinthesky]

Dean is such a paradox for me because on the one hand, I have been actively triggered by him in the show, there are moments where, intentionally or not, the writers managed to create a portrayal of manipulation and abuse and control issues that it sets off actual alarms for me. And on the other hand, I would not have him any other way. There is something — not comforting, that’s too soft a word — about knowing where Dean’s actions stem from, having seen and learned all that we do about his childhood neglect and parentification and the trauma he goes through repeatedly in the show, and that he doesn’t come out clean. He comes out a goddamn mess who ends up hurting the people around him in reaction to his own pain!

There’s a reality there that’s. Almost nice, actually. Distressing to watch, but it is a fucking mess, it’s a good mess! He’s got zero healthy coping skills and a healthy relationship with say, his brother, is terrifying because it leaves him open to abandonment!

I’m not sure I’m wording this correctly. There is a way to be a good abuse victim. Take the pain, martyr yourself on it, and then, even if you have no support or idea how to, then you have to become a Good Person who never hurts anyone the way you have been learning to your entire life. Simply toss everything that shaped you out the door and emerge a saint with a tragic backstory. And Dean is not that. And that’s so fucking good. Everything that he has gone through continues to effect the way he treats the people around him, and he can’t fight the behaviors he might recognize as harmful because he also sees them as protecting him (or protecting Sam by keeping Sam with him.)

And sometimes, idk. It feels good to see a guy who didn’t heal the “right way.” Who mostly didn’t heal at all, just keeps the wound open because it’s easier that way.

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

Asunder

slow-paced high fantasy

a woman who has a contract with an eldritch entity allowing her to see the dead & survives by taking various jobs

when a job searching for stranded smugglers in a cave goes wrong, she ends up with the soul of a dying stranger bound to her shadow

along with a scholar and her old childhood friend, they travel to his home country to find a way to unbind him and save them both

dark fantasy world with gods, demonic entities, arcane magic, and semi-sentient beasts used as transport

[1doesnotsimplyhavejust1fandam]

Imagine being such close besties with someone that your entire world knows about it. Just. Sirius Black and James Potter being so close that literally nobody questions that Sirius was the Potters’ Secret Keeper, even when he immediately went after Peter in a very public way, instead of laying low like any sane person would do after they were just revealed a traitor and their precious Lord died (although, they did think Sirius went mad, so it makes sense in a way). But of everyone in the Order, no one once questioned the Potters making Sirius their Secret Keeper, despite his prejudiced family, despite the Prank, despite any number of ways in which Sirius wasn’t perfect. Everyone in the Wizarding World still saw Sirius and James, and thought, “yeah, there’s no way it was anyone else, even if the betrayal makes their friendship seem so much less deep”. There was no reason for Remus to question it because he watched James and Sirius be the best of friends for a decade, he knew Sirius was Harry’s godfather, he knew James would have trusted no one more, that Lily loved Sirius and thought the world of him. There really was no other choice for the Potters, to anyone.

Which makes Peter being Secret Keeper that much more awful because it was such a genius move! Sirius was actually so smart to try this twist, to suggest making Peter the Secret Keeper. He knew everyone knew how close him and James were, how close he’d always been to the Potter family, he knew they’d come after him and Sirius would’ve DIED rather than betray his friends, his godson. He would’ve died to protect Peter too, so that nobody would know who the Secret Keeper really was. There was no reason to suspect Peter when there was Sirius Black, known Death Eater hater and unendingly loyal to his friends, RIGHT THERE. If Sirius really HAD died, he would’ve gone out thinking his friends would still be safe bc once Voldemort discovered he wasn’t the Secret Keeper, it would’ve jumped to Remus or even an older Light member like Moody or Dumbledore. Sirius damned himself knowingly, before ever finding out that Peter had gotten the Potters killed.

Sometimes I think about how Sirius managed to convince James and Lily to use Peter instead of him. They both must’ve known that Sirius would be killed immediately once it was determined that he didn’t know the Secret, so Sirius must have used Harry against them, said that they needed to do ANYTHING to keep their little boy safe, even if it meant Sirius offering himself up as a target, a sacrifice for their safety. Sirius must have thought he was so smart, because he found a way to keep his friends and godson safe, even though he wasn’t the Secret Keeper, and he didn’t put them at risk by trusting “potential spy: Remus Lupin”. He must have argued with James and Lily for ages about it, convincing them that it was the right decision, some misdirection to keep them safer for longer, another line of defense between their little Harry and the monster who wanted to destroy him.

It’s already wild to me that Sirius even held enough power/voice in this discussion to even suggest Peter as Secret Keeper. Like, the level of trust James and Lily must’ve had in him, to entrust their lives AND their son’s in Sirius’ plan? Nobody can ever say that Sirius wasn’t loved and trusted to the ends of the earth by James and Lily. They wanted HIM because there was nobody they trusted more, even with how reckless Sirius is shown to be, even years later. Trying to imagine Sirius in Azkaban all those years, knowing he basically handed his best friends over to Voldemort with that plan? Hell on earth, literally. He speaks on it maybe once to Harry in the entirety of the series, and it’s so clear that he is completely derisive about the plan. He despises the fact that it was his plan that got his best friends killed, that caused Harry to lose his parents. He blames himself (and Peter), but he had over a decade to sit in prison and think about the what ifs of that plan, to remember that it was his idea that killed James and Lily.

[valeovalairs]

You can pry girl dad Mark Winters out of my cold dead hands.

[the-woman-upstairs]

It’s just…so painful to watch Armand readily submit in order to obtain the love he so desperately craves. And while it’s most assuredly a manipulative tactic, it’s still one borne out of fear and desperation. He cannot lose this person he’s come to love and so will become whatever they want, do whatever they want just so they’ll stay with him. But it won’t be enough. No matter how much he acquiesces or seeks to control (himself, others, the environment), he won’t be able to make Louis stay with him in the perfect life, perfect self he built in the hopes of finally being loved. It will all crumble with Armand left alone in the rubble of what he created, the author of his own abandonment.

[wickmitz]

lightly touching upon this post in particular, but i feel like people tend to forget that rocky really is someone who does make his own choices more often than not. yes, his circumstances are tragic, and personally i can’t fully blame him for being so desperate to keep his newfound home to the point of taking up violent crime to maintain it … but these are still choices he makes of his own volition, over and over again. same as every other character in the narrative. rocky is the one who decides to go after the pig farmers for revenge and doesn’t tell mitzi or viktor about it, which winds up costing the lackadaisy devestating consequences! he’s the one who ( rather gleefully ) decides to try and kill fish and wes, and was maybe considering this plan from the moment he saw them adorning the marigold flower on their lapels. he threatens and scares wick. he convinces freckle to join the lackadaisy crew due to his own fear of losing his job. etc etc! rocky also shows a streak of hiding his pain / bad situation to others, due to not wanting to be seen as a burden, and wanting to bounce back all on his own to prove his worth. again, this is all very sympathetic! but i do wish more people acknowledged that rocky isn’t some puppet on everyone else’s strings and that he’s, in fact, someone who can and has made his own choices multiple times within the story itself.

[youngyoo-apologist]

OG Choi Han they could never make me hate you cause if some random rich boy was yelling at me and telling me my family deserved to die like a day after it happened and all I wanted was to know how I could get help I’d beat him up too

This plus the added fact that the Harris Village people were the first people to take Choi Han in and take care of him after years and years in the dark forest. Like he’s obviously not going to be mentally stable after all that, and he was so young when everything happened to him like I cannot blame him at all. I don’t think I can ever hate OG Choi Han like ever, he’s flawed, he has problems, but I love him dearly. He deserves the world. This kid who had to fight for his life, was taken away from his family, and in the process had to give up parts of his own humanity to survive, and like went to war two years later, they could never make me hate u OG Choi Han…

Like yeah violence is bad I guess but OG Cale had it coming(saying this as an OG Cale fan, I love him, but he was mean as hell when he was younger!)

If I’m honest, I think they were both in the wrong to an extent. Like OG Cale shouldn’t have said all that no matter the circumstances, and OG Choi Han shouldn’t have beaten him up so much. But u say mean shit and you get hit, that is how it will work when you’re talking to the guy who just saw his entire village get murdered like idkkkk man

I understand where OG Cale was coming from, but he had many issues and while he wasn’t an awful person, he was capable of doing bad things because of his own internalized pain and emotions that he never got to properly process because of his emotionally distant childhood and relationship with his father who should have been there for him more when he was younger.

Okay speaking of his childhood, Deruth isn’t the WORST father in the world but there are a lot of things he could have done better. I think a lot of Deruth’s flaws come from his fear of failure and messing up. He’s scared of doing the wrong thing, and so he sticks to doing what he knows and using what he knows best. That’s why he uses his money, that’s why gift giving is his way of showing affection, he knows that it is one thing he cannot mess up.

The problem is that money and gifts is NOT what OG Cale needed. I think what that guy needed the most was a parent who wasn’t afraid to talk to him, to ask him questions. Not to say that Deruth gave up on OG Cale, but I think in a way he gave up on OG Cale by giving up on himself. Deruth didn’t trust himself to have the capabilities to talk to OG Cale, which is why he never did. It’s because that Deruth was scared, and didn’t trust himself, that he could never face OG Cale

If Deruth was able to trust himself a little more, and pull himself together, I don’t think OG Cale would have turned out the way he did. As a kid, he probably thought the only way he could help his family without relying on anyone(no doubt this whole ‘I have to do it myself’ thing came from the fact that he couldn’t rely on his father when his mom died, and instead was acting as a pillar of support for his father when it should have been the other way around) was to sabotage himself, the only heir. If he was shown to be unfit to be heir, then everyone else would have no choice but to direct their hatred towards him instead of his family.

If Deruth had talked to his son at least ONCE when he was a kid, asking him why he was upset or why he did the things he did, I think OG Cale would have told him. Why? Because he’s a kid!! A kid will obviously want to rely on his father, if he just had one sign telling him that he didn’t have to do it alone I’m 90% sure OG Cale would have said something.

Basically, while Deruth isn’t the worst father, he’s not really a great father either. I think he does do his best, but he has issues with communication lol

OG Cale and OG Choi Han are both complex characters and had their own reasons to behave the way they did. The thing is with people is that they’re complicated and have layers, so the situation with them would have layers behind it as well with multiple co-existing truths and stuff

[grand-taire]

the thing that haunts me about sebastian moran is that, when he was first created by the fandom, he was often written as an inherently tragic character. he was literally created just to be with jim, and to ultimately not be enough for him.

seb couldn't fix his loneliness in the ways that mattered, even though he was closer to jim than anyone else; hell, he usually couldn't even keep the man entertained. jim was always just out of reach, even when sebastian's hands were on him.

he wasn't jim's answer. he was never going to win.

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

[pericky; a look into ricky's head during their meeting.]

---

"I'm glad you came, I wasn't sure you would." The wine pours, the sound of it drowning out the missing word in that sentence: back.

Of course, is the response, and the part of Ricky that's spent twenty years tearing itself apart to understand why vibrates with relief. It doesn't matter anymore. Of course, of course, he thinks giddily along with the words. He never needed to wonder why Pericles wasn't coming back in the first place; he was always going to.

I'm happy you invited me, and of course he thinks again. A lifetime of pretending he wasn't always going to either falls away. However harsh and lonely the world has been, all's right with it again; and the shy voice of the boy inside him that he's tried so hard to kill says, so quietly, I missed you.

[maretriarch]

everytime i listen to levan polkka i think about the like 12 year old blonde hair blue eyes cherubic looking little boy i met at the childrens mental hospital when i was 17 who had to have 1 on 1 supervision bcs he liked to kill small animals and we would do levan polkka on just dance together. he wasnt a bad kid. i think just bored. writing creepypasta fanfic would have saved him.

[reikunrei]

bylers are so embarrassing fr this is so funny. you are not serious people etc etc

[biinarysttars]

11, 14, 18, & 27!! for etheara questions :D

YEAAAA Toby I owe you my life <3333

11. If they had a pet or magical familiar as in ESO (excluding the dogs in Skyrim) what creature would it be?

So!! First off-- he does actually have a horse. Her name is Cinnamon and he gets her in Windhelm to travel to Winterhold. And second off, in Heavenfall, before we saw Etheara at all he was established to have a service animal for mental health reasons since he seemed to struggle w psychosis and would steal from the library & then lock himself in his dorm for days on end. The way I'm translating this is by using a nix-hound!

They're native to Morrowind, and physically massive enough to get in the way of Etheara engaging w his triggers (books). Also look at it. That thing's got 0 brain cells <3

14. What is their personal favourite place in Skyrim- a town, hold, home, dungeon, or just a natural spot they happen to have a fondness for?

Etheara loves the hot springs by Windhelm! I'm p sure he hates the cold, so he also loves the areas closer to the Cyrodiil border, too, like Falkreath. I think the dude needs to relax a little bit though, so, while I haven't actually played through a game where he spends much time there, I like to imagine him & his little party chillin over there together :)

18. Your Dragonborn is now an actual dragon- what do they look like? Do they possess any unique features or abilities?

[GRIPS THIS] So I went and did a bunch of research on the anatomy of TES dragons because I wanted to describe a unique take on it. So first, let's start with a serpentine dragon base:

But rather than blue undertones, I would want green undertones I think.

Next, I'd want him to have more eyes because of his strong connections to Hermaeus Mora. More on his face for sure; but I think I'd want it to be a situation where the more you look, the more you realize that he is covered in them. Maybe they're mostly closed; but I think that whenever they open, they are off looking in a different direction for a second before centring on You, y'know?

Idk I think I would also want him to bleed black goop. I'm not 100% sure about any special abilities but something that drains Intelligence would probably be really fitting :)

27. If your Dragonborn were an in-game boss fight, what would their lair be like? What enemies would help them in the fight (if any) and what quest might lead to another hero having to fight them?

I LOVE THIS QUESTION because here's the thing: Etheara does actually have a "boss fight" in Memoir Maormer.

Some context for that is that I found Ancano to be an extremely entertaining but also an extremely shallow and stupid character, boring in every way other than personality. So I wanted to spice him up. I presented him with a character to bounce off of (Kyryi, the Maormer in question), and I gave him motivation for him to do the things he does. Is "motivation" the right word? I fleshed out his actual thoughts and feelings on the Thalmor's goals and considered how much he knew about their end goals AND considered how much he agreed with those end goals; I thought about his loyalty to them and his specific placement at the college- Idk I thought about a lot of things.

What I came up with is, I think, extremely interesting-- but this is not about what I've done to Ancano, this is about Etheara! So part of the reason Ancano responds the way he does to the Eye of Magnus is because of Etheara-- because Etheara is being influenced/watched by Hermaeus Mora, and that maddening drive to acquire knowledge is contagious & exacerbated by sheer nature of being at a school. Ancano and Etheara, who have exactly none emotional intelligence, are both very deeply affected by the Vibes. So they both become obsessive and territorial over the Eye, and it's their informal rivalry on the matter that provokes Ancano to act in the College.

But as I said in my previous post, Etheara is not the hero of this story-- he stays right by the Eye himself, locked in a stalemate with Ancano. It's Kyryi that takes off to Labyrinthian to acquire the Staff; and when he gets back, Etheara has bested Ancano and is looking to take the Eye's secrets for himself (/Hermaeus Mora). So Kyryi fights Etheara in this situation.

BUT! That's not what this exercise is about-- that's just genuinely part of his story.

I think if he had a lair, it would take the shape of a Telvanni mushroom tower; but when entered, is dizzyingly bigger on the inside. Same vibes as when you go into any of the Vivec City compounds for the first time. He would reside at the top of the tower, but getting there would involve solving a lot of puzzles (and that's probably why he's trapped at the top; he could not solve those puzzles himself lmao). The closer you get to the top, the more everything starts to look like Apocrypha-- the walls start to be made out of books; the lighting is green; there is a black ooze on the ground and I imagine there's an acrid scent in the air.

I think that he would be able to summon Seekers to help him fight :) That would be cool

The story that I imagine leading up to this would be an AU where either Kyryi denies Etheara when he asks for help, or one where Etheara never asks for help at all. Etheara's greatest flaw is that he sees himself too much as the "helper friend" to ever let himself be helped in kind-- so as time goes on and his connections to Apocrypha strengthen and his grip on reality weakens, he ends up in a position where he has one last chance to ask for help before his mind-- before the holes in his psyche can never be repaired.

The reason he has this crisis of conscience is because his travels have lead him back to Solstheim, back to a place that looks and feels like home; and has, coincidentally, lead him back to Kyryi. He doesn't remember the end of what happened at the College; but he remembers Kyryi's unique ability. Surrounded by this familiarity, and the certainty of being seen, Etheara is able to pull himself together for a couple of days. His travelling companion at the time, Melanarto, goes to Kyryi and begs him to help-- and in exchange, Melanarto will pull some strings with the sailing company he used to work for in order to get Kyryi back home to Pyandonea.

Kyryi turns down the offer, unless Etheara himself asks him for help. He is not eager to get involved in Etheara's business again-- not after almost losing Ancano. In this AU, Etheara either wouldn't ever ask him; OR Etheara asks him, and he turns it down anyways. So Kyryi never goes home; and him and Ancano are taking refuge in Solstheim, hiding from the Thalmor.

Years and years later, the contagious effect that was seen at the College is ravaging Solstheim-- particularly Raven Rock. And I think Ancano would once again start to succumb; and in a horrific way, he sees and knows what is happening to him, but there would be nothing he could do to prevent this. And Kyryi, watching the love of his life twist this way, would find the strength to go after Etheara, and put an end to him once and for all.

I think that he would have to make the first move against Etheara. I think he's surrounded by books, swirling in a tempest all around him that he looks over, not understanding, flitting back and forth and holding the information without absorbing any of it. But ultimately, Etheara is a pacifist at heart, so he wouldn't attack you for entering his space; he wouldn't attack you if you spoke to him, or disturbed him, or even attacked him directly-- no, you'd need to hit him where it hurts: the only friends he has left: his books.

[latinokaeya-moving]

here’s the thing right. i obviously know kaeya has a mean/crueller streak and a lot of very sad/‘angsty’ story potential like that’s a very real part of his character that im actually interested in and think abt a Lot more then i let on and i hate to think that i am like. ‘woobifying’ him bc i mostly talk abt him in a very specific cutesy way but tbh if you check the actual fanfic and fanart content out there rn the Overwhelming majority of it is just so persistently grim n focused on tragedy n sadness n pain that i just feel like i Gotta talk abt the sweeter/softer/more introspective aspects of kaeya bc if not it’ll just get buried beneath all that misery 😭😭😭

[onewomancitadel]

Best Mate and I were discussing Paul Atreides (as you do) and the point she expertly made really is that the Greek tragedy is quite structurally foreign now. The pathos and unfairness you're meant to feel for someone who is a victim and perpetrator of the tragic cycle is read as like, misdeveloped character, rather than a feeling to engage with and derive catharsis from.

Why is it unfair? Why does it hurt so much? It's not about what they could've done, it's not a tragedy that you could change by not being an idiot or by making a better decision here or there, it's something more essential than that. I think that's part of the modern misdirection (in say, mainstream media) because the fault line isn't one decision or one slip of bad writing.

In some ways it feels like a personal betrayal narratively.