#LIKE TELLING THE GUY WHO JUST GOT HIS FAMILY MURDERED THAT THEIR LIVES WERE WORTHLESS

[youngyoo-apologist]

OG Choi Han they could never make me hate you cause if some random rich boy was yelling at me and telling me my family deserved to die like a day after it happened and all I wanted was to know how I could get help I’d beat him up too

This plus the added fact that the Harris Village people were the first people to take Choi Han in and take care of him after years and years in the dark forest. Like he’s obviously not going to be mentally stable after all that, and he was so young when everything happened to him like I cannot blame him at all. I don’t think I can ever hate OG Choi Han like ever, he’s flawed, he has problems, but I love him dearly. He deserves the world. This kid who had to fight for his life, was taken away from his family, and in the process had to give up parts of his own humanity to survive, and like went to war two years later, they could never make me hate u OG Choi Han…

Like yeah violence is bad I guess but OG Cale had it coming(saying this as an OG Cale fan, I love him, but he was mean as hell when he was younger!)

If I’m honest, I think they were both in the wrong to an extent. Like OG Cale shouldn’t have said all that no matter the circumstances, and OG Choi Han shouldn’t have beaten him up so much. But u say mean shit and you get hit, that is how it will work when you’re talking to the guy who just saw his entire village get murdered like idkkkk man

I understand where OG Cale was coming from, but he had many issues and while he wasn’t an awful person, he was capable of doing bad things because of his own internalized pain and emotions that he never got to properly process because of his emotionally distant childhood and relationship with his father who should have been there for him more when he was younger.

Okay speaking of his childhood, Deruth isn’t the WORST father in the world but there are a lot of things he could have done better. I think a lot of Deruth’s flaws come from his fear of failure and messing up. He’s scared of doing the wrong thing, and so he sticks to doing what he knows and using what he knows best. That’s why he uses his money, that’s why gift giving is his way of showing affection, he knows that it is one thing he cannot mess up.

The problem is that money and gifts is NOT what OG Cale needed. I think what that guy needed the most was a parent who wasn’t afraid to talk to him, to ask him questions. Not to say that Deruth gave up on OG Cale, but I think in a way he gave up on OG Cale by giving up on himself. Deruth didn’t trust himself to have the capabilities to talk to OG Cale, which is why he never did. It’s because that Deruth was scared, and didn’t trust himself, that he could never face OG Cale

If Deruth was able to trust himself a little more, and pull himself together, I don’t think OG Cale would have turned out the way he did. As a kid, he probably thought the only way he could help his family without relying on anyone(no doubt this whole ‘I have to do it myself’ thing came from the fact that he couldn’t rely on his father when his mom died, and instead was acting as a pillar of support for his father when it should have been the other way around) was to sabotage himself, the only heir. If he was shown to be unfit to be heir, then everyone else would have no choice but to direct their hatred towards him instead of his family.

If Deruth had talked to his son at least ONCE when he was a kid, asking him why he was upset or why he did the things he did, I think OG Cale would have told him. Why? Because he’s a kid!! A kid will obviously want to rely on his father, if he just had one sign telling him that he didn’t have to do it alone I’m 90% sure OG Cale would have said something.

Basically, while Deruth isn’t the worst father, he’s not really a great father either. I think he does do his best, but he has issues with communication lol

OG Cale and OG Choi Han are both complex characters and had their own reasons to behave the way they did. The thing is with people is that they’re complicated and have layers, so the situation with them would have layers behind it as well with multiple co-existing truths and stuff

[gnashingwailing]

@fireflywritesgt ok i read your tag on ch21 and i took that as a personal challenge (and then while I was writing this you dropped ch22 and THEN 23 and murdered me. but i'm back now. so)

HELLO Ok fuck yeah hold on everybody take my hand. We’re theorizing about this chapter 🙏 spoilers thru ch23 below

Re: the tag: dare I hope the next story will be set in a similar time/place… i MUST ADMIT despite the significant broader cultural stigma of such a thing. I have often contemplated. Harry and Joe helping with providing socialized miniature healthcare 😭 (maybe to wherever Lorraine lives[?] or knows of?) and when I heard mention of a Tiny Town Hospital… one must wonder how this compares to a Giant Hospital, or to the barber surgeon dens that Joe has presumably had some frostbitten toes cut off at.

OTHER THINGS I’M SPECULATING ABOUT: “certainly, bandits were a problem a borrower occasionally had to face” 🤔 damn that's rough. I do love the sense that there are few overarching cultural norms, whether it's around marriage or language or so on. Everybody is kinda doing their own thing (including robbing each other oof).

I am also VEEEERRY curious about the implications of WHATEVER the tinies that are working in Tiny Town are doing. What kind of mechanized thing could be profitable from a lot of little guys pressing buttons? Or is it maybe not something physical they’re producing? Is it instead a research project? Some attempt at “civilizing” the tiny society for giant colonialism reasons? There’s got to be some kind of output here that is valuable to some kind of giant, but I’m still mystified at what it will be. “Joe wanted to ask him about the four armed giants who stood outside of Tiny Town” YEAH MAN ME TOO‼️ <- secretly delighted this is still coming up because I want to know what it means QUITE BADLY

Joe lamenting that there don't seem to be any libraries, or restaurants, or speakeasies, or any mark of ... art or entertainment? In Tiny Town? I REALLY HOPE Joe and Harry get over themselves and kiss soon so they can TALK ABOUT HOW FUCKING WEIRD THIS PLACE IS???? It made me INSAAANE THAT JOE JUST BRUSHED OFF TALKING ABOUT IT AT ALL 😭 JOE TO HAVE THOSE THINGS. PEOPLE HAVE TO WORK AT THEM. ARE ALL THE PEOPLE IN TINY TOWN JUST WORKING ON PUSHING BUTTONS??? JOE PLS

“Expecting handouts from the bloody giants…” sooo fascinating to hear him voice this, since this whole project is a handout in the absolute best case scenario (given that scraps are worthless to giants), although likely closer to a prison, as Professor Hill called it. Still patiently waiting for his smart and cool wife to explain things to me <3

I hope Joe will deign to really talk about what happened to him… GURL go process it with ur beautiful best friend!! Let him hold you and comfort you and tell you you’re literally so smart and correct and everything you’re saying about ditching the buttons part entirely is literally so beautiful and true!!! Go rock his world with your insights king!!!

Also lmfao Joe is definitely not Irish bcuz his Irish Goodbyes need some SERIOUS work. King of just literally running off when he’s not feeling a conversation anymore.

Me 🤝Joe <- autistically just leaving

He does this so often and it makes me cackle every time. Wait hold on those great meme posts make me want to make a JUST WALK OUT! One.

Absolutely loving the tension of it all… the reveal that Joe was doing watchmaking when he was TWELVE, meaning (if I'm keeping track of time correctly) he got snatched right after he was ABANDONED BY HIS ONLY FAMILY IN THE WORLD, was so artfully done. I had to stop in my tracks and think at the “he’d known O’Grady longer in his life than he hadn’t” and do math and be like “oh fuck.” Maybe this was teased prior and I didn’t pick up on it, but it hit HARD. For some reason I hadn’t assumed he was a kid — but why wouldn’t he be? If little kids are already doing things like crawling into discarded beer bottles. Fuck, Warren, heartbreaking stuff. Bravo. Of course Joe would be as dedicated to going and seeing him as he was Harry in the hospital. He cares so deeply about everyone, but especially his friends. It’s too bad O’Grady is no longer in a place to reciprocate the love Joe gives !!! But of course Joe still would not be ready to throw away the boot knife O’Grady made for him… “a decision that would forever change Joe’s life” btw I can hear ur evil hehe from here. :)

Also btw THIS little detail is one of those things that makes rereading your story so delightful: “They invade our end of the city, take our jobs, show up at our bar… did we invite them? No.” O’Grady was practically ranting. “And when we politely tell them to leave, what do they do?” O’Grady pointed to his bandaged head. “Watch out for them once you get here. They’re not good Irishmen like you and me, Joe.” juxtaposed with the actual breaking news we heard from the radio ? "“AN IRISHMAN AND AN ITALIAN ARE IN THE HOSPITAL AFTER A MASS BRAWL OUTSIDE A BAR ENDED IN A CRACKED SKULL AND A STABBING. NEITHER OF ‘EM HAVE BEEN IDENTIFIED YET.”" a fucking STABBING = "politely tell them to leave"? What kinds of things has Joe's friend gotten used to excusing?

And of course I love the moments of solidarity within the tragedy of the newly realized (or at least newly stoked) xenophobia between borrowers. Joe being reminded of how his parents spoke, and how his brother shooed him off, in the gestures of a stranger… you really do a great job of evoking the ways we are all connected to each other. His family is gone, but he still sees them everywhere he looks. [pacing my enclosure and being sooo normal about how Joe has purposefully isolated for a decade and yet cannot help but see the beauty and humanity of his fellow man whether tiny or giant bcuz despite thinking he’s wired wrong, he’s actually wired like all of us who have felt that way for our unusual proclivities. He’s wired for connection with his fellow man. And he’s so wired for it u can feel how much it hurts his heart. Haha I’m sooooo .] The older guy was trying to warn him off crossing a white line into the “Irish ward”, too, right? The gesture was a kindness. And speaking of, does that mean the little tunnel somebody dug is to the Irish district? Or was I turned around and it was the Italian one? Either way — who would be trying to get in here, and why? Maybe it’s just a desperate person, but O’Grady talking about how bad it’d be if they saw Joe, and the need for an ID, makes me think it’s not someplace you can sneak into and integrate with. Just makes me curious as to whether it’ll come up again!!

THIS is also something I'm wondering about -- could the 'output' of Tiny Town maybe be researching, like... ethnonationalism? In the wake of WWI? Those drawn lines separating different 'wards'... do we think Tinies came up with this shit on their own? I doubt it, if someone like Dawson who is immediately assigning people nationalities that we know from Calloway's nobody "normal" in borrower society knows/cares about. HMMMmmmmMMMMM. I'm still reaaaaally curious how much Hill knows about this place and what hand, if any, he had in it. ONCE AGAIN, boys get kissing so you can also get TALKING. I think Harry would have much to say about how pointless it is to hate individuals from other nationalities after everything he saw during the war. Or so I assume, given he had no bad reaction to Joe being Italian.

AND WELL THIS IS LESS THEORYCRAFTING AND MORE “ME WANTING TO WRITE MORE FANFIC ABOUT THEM” BUT I WAS SOOO DELIGHTED THE CHAPTER DIDN’T END WITH HIM LEAVING TINY TOWN AND WE INSTEAD GOT DRESS REHEARSAL 2 OF HARRY AND JOE GETTING SO FUCKING DOWN BAD FOR EACH OTHER AT THE WINDOW & IN THE BEDROOM. YIPPEEEEE <- this was written before ch22 lol pictures taken moments before disaster

“Joe fidgeted for a moment as he fought with himself over whether or not to say what he really wanted to say.” … did you say what you really wanted to, there, pal? 🤨

I'm sooooo glad Joe's books are making more and more appearances... much like Harry I'm endlessly delighted by his culture. I wanna know what shaped his romantic fantasies!!

""Yeah, the ending on this one isn't great. They're cowards. Could've at least said they loved each other." Joe said.

He closed the book and snuggled into the crook of Harry's neck." <- Lmao @ these two guys so allergic to talking about their feelings shit-talking the romance book protagonists while they're literally cuddling in bed and not acknowledging it

Did he own these books when he was a kid? I imagine so, but on the other hand? HEY HOLY SHIT I REALIZED AFTER CH23 SOMETHING I SUSPECTED BUT COULDN'T CONFIRM: if homophobia isn't something borrowers have. Is one of these romance novels Joe owns going to be between two men? Harry is going to get his fuckin world rocked. Him and Georgie stole books from the library before, but I doubt they found any gay romance stuff (still impossible for baby-gay-Gnash to find that almost 100 years later in their rural libraries, lol.) Would this be Harry's first exposure to something like that? Wahhh... hurry up and open up to each other again you need to talk culture ASAP...

I'm also very curious if borrowers would have more taboo novels of their own, particularly giant/tiny stuff. And would Joe have come across any of it? I imagine it'd be extremely difficult to sell things like that without a beating, but maybe in bigger night markets -- and Joe said he's been in lots of very big cities... if his third novel is some really salacious g/t writing that would do numbers here on tumblr dot com I'm going to lose my god damn mind.

[sapphic-swiftie13]

Kate Bishop friends since High School

You were currently on the phone with your boyfriend and your eyes were brimming with tears that you desperately tried to hold in.

The car ride to your best friend Kate's apartment was silent if it wasn't for the angry voice that was screaming at you from the other end, hateful words laced with spite, spilling like red wine out of his mouth.

Every word he said left a stain on your heart that only seemed to get weaker and weaker with time, and after you apologized for something that he was to blame for, he proceeded to act so divine.

Refusing to look over at Kate who was driving the car, you sat frozen in the passenger seat trying to block all your thoughts out, wishing you could escape your own mind for just a second or two.

It felt like you were walking on eggshells every time your boyfriend was around, never knowing which version of him you'd get when he got home from work, or if he would be in a good mood when driving the both of you home from a family dinner.

Sometimes he was the sweetest guy you had ever met, since he was the only man that you had ever fallen for, and he'd tell you he would never leave your side.

But the next day he could end up throwing a vase at you, and if you were unlucky and it hit you, he would never say that he was sorry or that he wasn't thinking clearly, he would tell you it was what you deserved for not being grateful that he had stayed with you and kept up with all your bullshit for so long.

You had first met in High School, the same place where you had met Kate actually. Everyone had wanted to be you, and tried to steal him from you, and in this moment, you wished that they did, but at the same time you'd never wish that even your nemesis was to be stuck in a relationship like this.

A relationship where you were thought of as worthless, but then his princess, and most of the time the ugly and ungrateful bitch who ruined his life. High School sweethearts was what this so-called love was seen as, but in all reality this life you were living could not be a love story with a happy ending that never seemed to really end, it was a horror movie at best where you'd end up brutally murdered by the hands that was supposed to hold tight around you and keep you warm during the coldest winter nights.

Before you could really process what had happened, Kate took the phone out of your hands and said, "you know what Matthew, you're a total dick, hope you choke in your sleep."

Then she hung up and threw the phone into the backseat, out of your reach. "What was that for?" you yelled at her with your breaking voice, ultimately making you shut up, feeling stupid and ashamed for asking when you already knew the answer.

You were well aware that the love you shared was a messy and ugly kind of love, that never truly felt safe in any way, a relationship you had thought of leaving for a while now but never had the guts to actually do since you were scared to death of the consequences.

"Well, I'm not letting you stay with him tonight," Kate spoke out, in a soft voice.

"Please Kate, he'll be even more pissed if I don't show up until tomorrow," you pleaded, even though you knew he wouldn't just be pissed, he'd be furious, and if you said one wrong word, he would most probably threaten to hurt you if you ever pulled a stunt like this again.

"No chance in hell. He's beyond pissed because you and I had a girls' night out. He does not own you; you are not his property!" she said while glancing over at you, trying to catch a glimpse of your face as you looked out the window, at the midnight sea.

Soon enough you had reached the outside of Kate's apartment building, and you followed her into the elevator where the silence was so loud, but it wasn't uncomfortable, quite the opposite, it was calming, like you had never gone so long without being scolded or screamed at, it was peaceful.

You remember the last time you had felt so undisturbed, it was back in High School. You remember it clear as day, like you were reliving it right now in this moment.

You were taking the books you needed out of your locker, dreading the fact that the bell would ring any minute, resulting in you having no choice but to find your way to class again.

Beside you, Kate was leaning against the locker that was beside yours, like she was trying to be cool, wearing the cutest sweater you had ever seen in your whole life. With headphones around her neck adding to this weird nerdy style she currently was rocking.

"You look really nice, or uh, pretty today," Kate stammered as a red flush covered her cheeks, making her accidentally drop the book she had been holding close to her chest since she got nervous.

"Oh, let me get that for you..." you said with a mischievous grin, picking it up, observing the cover before giving it back to her, saying, "I see... you're reading Hope Is the Thing with Feathers... I did not know that you, my Avengers obsessed dork knew poetry!"

Then you took a strand of her messy hair and tucked it behind her ear, making her hold in her breath while she focused on you and nothing else. Then the bell rang, too quickly for your own liking, but you sighed disappointed, closed your locker and started to walk away. You turned around and said, "see you later Kate, meet me behind the mall!"

Kate stood there, dumbfoundedly gawking at you while you disappeared out of her sight, still leaning against the locker that wasn't hers.

"Uh, can you move? I need my shit, for class, can't be late," A boy with an alternative clothing style stated, and Kate got out of her trance and rushed to class whisper yelling, "oh shit I'm going to be late, oh no, Ms. Hayes is going to kill me!"

When the elevator doors opened you snapped back to reality, stumbling as you tried to catch up to Kate who had already stepped out.

When you had rounded the corner, you could see her unlocking the door, you couldn't help but smile when she stood there waiting, holding the door open for you to slip in.

You took off your jacket and shoes, then made your way to her living room shortly after.

"I'm sorry for being harsh on you in the car..." she apologized as she walked in with two glasses and a bottle of soda.

"No, don't be sorry. It is not your fault. You were right, I'm not his property but I do let him treat me like I am," you answered her, as you looked down at your hands, feeling ashamed of your lack of self-respect, and the fact that you don't know how to stand up for yourself anymore because of him.

"To be honest with you, I don't get what you see in him. He might be attractive, but he is far from kind. You fight every day, or so it seems," Kate said quietly as she studied your face for any reaction.

"He is kind... or he used to be. It's like the one I fell for isn't there anymore. Like it was all a big façade, and the walls tumbled down and I see him for who he truly is," you answered her while pouring soda in both of your glasses.

"When did you realize that the real him was hiding behind some kind of mask?" she asked as you sat back on the couch.

"I don't know... I thought he simply had bad days and that is allowed and normal, but bad days turned into weeks, and then months, and now it's coming close to a year..." you told her, while nervously looking around the room, avoiding her beautiful face.

"Why did you not tell me that he treated you this shitty? If I had known that he was always acting like this I would've tried to help sooner!" she said letting out a sigh, pain hiding behind her eyes.

You sipped the soda and put the glass back on the table, while your head felt like spinning with all the thoughts that was filling up your mind.

"I don't know, Kate, okay?! I was scared!" you said with a raised tone but regretting it the second you realized what you just had done, you could not bear to be like him.

"I'm your best friend! I knew something was going on, but I did not know exactly what, and I didn't want to pry..." she said with a soothing voice with words that had no intention of hurting you.

"Yeah, you're my best friend, Kate! You should not be the one to care this much for me, it should be him!"

Kate stood up and while she did, she said, "but of course I care for you... I love you!" Instantly putting her head in her hands, like she felt helpless standing there.

Soon enough you stood up too and walked over to her placing a hand on her shoulder.

"I know you do, and I love you too!" you told her with a reassuring smile.

"No, not like that..." she whispered regrettably.

"You're not making any sense, Kate," you stated, holding up her chin, searching for answers in her eyes, her face, any place that could give you a hint of what was going on in her mind.

Before you could react, her soft and warm lips carefully pressed onto your own. Her fingers carding through your hair, and her uneven breath slightly tickled beneath your nose, as she then frantically pulled away.

"Sorry, shit. I don't know what came over me. I shouldn't have kissed you; I know you have too much on your plate right now," she apologized as she stepped back, avoiding your gaze like she would turn to stone if she dared to even look at you, and forever be in this state of humiliation and regret.

Not thinking anything through, you stepped towards her, like someone else was in control of your body and you were just watching your bold self sweetly taking a hold of her cheek and caressing it.

Then you tenderly leaned in, your nose nudging hers, your chest pressing against hers as your lips once again met, now in a passionate and slow manner. Savouring each other's warmth, and the feeling of safety and comfort.

Her perfume crept up your nose, and you knew that the scent would linger when the kiss had to be broken when there was no oxygen left in your lungs.

In a rush to be close to you, Kate pulled you in again, one of her hands lightly placed behind your neck, your lips slightly parted, allowing her to slip inside, her tongue gently caressing your own.

She turned you both around and carefully pushed you backwards until your back touched the cold wall making you shiver.

Your bodies pressed together heatedly against it, lips moving in sync once again, tongues dancing, not seeking dominance, but still she took the lead on this dance.

You were not sure if it was your own heartbeat you heard, if it was hers, or the sound of both of your hearts hammering inside your chests, truth be told you were ready to explode from the joy that you were currently feeling.

In the clumsiest of manners your clothes were scattered all around the living room, hallway and finally bedroom.

"Are you sure?" she asked you, scared of you not being in the right mindset, afraid of overstepping and taking advantage of you in any way.

"Yes, Kate, I am," you reassured her, but it wasn't enough for her to give in yet.

"I'm serious. You're my everything, my heart is weak for you, and it always has been, and I don't want you to regret anything that we do or say tonight," she informed you, revealing the fact that she has been in love with you since forever.

"So poetic, seems like Emily Dickinson really made an impact on you, huh..." you joked, making her raise her eyebrow in return.

"Kate, I haven't been sure of anything in my life, but this I'm sure of. So just kiss me already!" you said and seconds later got pushed down onto the bed.

Her lips quickly found your collarbone, pressing chaste kisses all over you, leaving you in a state of bliss, wanting more.

"You have no idea how beautiful you are," she whispered and you could feel her breath tickling your skin. Every movement she made you slightly shudder in anticipation. Her hands roamed your body, rough fingertips grazing along your smooth skin.

Her lips moved downwards to your breasts, wanting to give them both the same attention, she first started to gently suck on one of your nipples, while fondling with your other breast.

You could not help but let a moan escape your lips, while her tongue did her magic. Her free hand started to roam even more, until it was resting on your thigh.

"Goddamn you're absolutely gorgeous," she said while it was clear that your breathing was getting slightly uneven. Fingertips tracing your inner thigh was making you impatient.

She was like a drug, she pulled you so easily in, and you wanted to be high on her, you knew if you weren't careful, you'd desperately need her, you felt like an addict wanting to be in a state of bliss.

Luckily for you her hand found your wet core and started to stimulate you without any more teasing. Slowly rubbing circles on your clit, and increasing the pace until she got a reaction, she quickly noticed how your thighs would twitch when it was obvious you were feeling pleasure.

Quiet moans turned into whimpers, and she kept on stimulating your clit. You were chasing it, the long-waited release, to leave all stress behind. Taking a hold of Kate's free hand, you intertwined your fingers with hers, slightly squeezing as your legs started to tremble.

You were not chasing your release anymore, it simply made its way to you, patiently waiting for you to let yourself go, to forget the past for just mere seconds. When you finally came, and the orgasm came washing over you, and you knew what volcanoes truly felt like.

"You're doing so good!" Kate said as she rode your orgasm out, letting you hold on to the feeling of rupture, so you could saviour it in your mind. It was nothing like you had experienced before, someone as loving as her making you feel so safe and content in a state of vulnerability.

It was simply better than how you could ever imagine paradise to be like, momentarily it seemed like heaven must have been overrated.

After having calmed yourself, sorted through all the thoughts that had come rushing back after your high, you gripped onto Kate's arm, pulled yourself up and your lips met hers in a loving kiss.

When your hands started tugging in her hair, and your kisses started to go from her lips to jaw, she slowly pulled away.

"This night is just for you, let me take care of you," she said as she pulled you in for a hug, pressing kisses on your neck.

You didn't know how to react, you were not used to this kind of affection, but now everything had changed. Kate started to stroke your hair, while phrases of praise left her mouth, telling you how good you had been. How proud she was, and how much she loved you.

After you had been sitting in her warm embrace with her safe and secure arms around you, she slowly pulled away, making you ache for her to come and hold you again.

She sat up with her back against the headboard, and opened her arms for you, soon enough the feeling of content came back. In this moment everything was perfect, you were safe and happy with Kate.

She was and is everything you had ever yearned and ached for. Pulling the covers over you and kissing your forehead before she then held around you, until you fell asleep, never letting go of you before you woke up the next morning.

"Good morning," she whispered when you lazily opened your eyes, forgetting for a second where you were and all that had happened the night before, until all the events of last night flooded back into your mind, making you blush just thinking about how lucky you were to be here in this moment.

Kate cuddled you, held around you, embraced you, showered you with love and affection and pressed kisses all over your face. "I love you; don't you ever forget that," Kate said, in a stern voice, like she was scared that you'll doubt her love for you, like it never existed.

"I love you too, babe... wait, can I call you babe?" you asked as stress was slowly consuming you, eating you up from the inside.

"Of course! But like, are we're in a relationship now?" she asked as her lips tugged into a big smile, grinning from ear to ear.

"Yes... only if you want to try, I have a lot of baggage to sort through!" you said, like she had no idea about your now ex-boyfriend.

"I can deal with him, no problem. I've got a lot of new arrows I need to test out," she said sarcastically with a chuckle. 

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Hey! I love your meta’s, a little while ago you talked about The Order of the Phoenix as an organization could you talk about the Death Eaters?

The post anon is referencing.

TL;DR the Order is incompetently hilarious and Dumbledore is a man who trusts no one.

Oh, the Death Eaters, what to say about the Death Eaters...

In a World Without Voldemort, They'd Probably Be Arsonists

One of the things JKR implies in the series, and something fandom seems to take for granted, is that Tom Riddle is the ultimate corrupting influence.

Were it not for him, the Wizarding World would be a much better place, and people like Bellatrix LeStrange would be productive members of society.

As soon as he is killed, even, by Harry, the good guys win, their problems all presumably solved, and Harry tells his son Albus Severus that it's totally fine if he's put into Slytherin.

I don't believe that though.

To me, it's not so much that Tom Riddle corrupted these people, but that he gave them an organized cause. The people themselves, oh, they were itching for a fight.

In a world without Tom I think they'd be a loosely, poorly organized, group (probably with Bellatrix as the ring leader) where they commit acts of domestic terrorism probably involving burning offensive shops to the ground or attacking muggleborns, halfbloods, and blood traitors.

Voldemort, to me, is designed to pander to them (and not the other way around).

The Death Eaters' Beginnings

So, first off, I think Tom's goals are not what he says they are. What he represents to his followers is exactly what they want to hear, wrapped in a grandiose theatric bow that they just love.

But how did this all start?

First, I don't believe in the Knights of Walpurgis. Instead I think Tom came relatively out of nowhere in the 70's uses parseltongue to prove his heritage as the Heir of Slytherin and thus of purer blood than any of them.

He throws these exciting rallies/parties that the rebellious, angsty, teenage heirs all go to. There he says everything they wanted to hear in the most eloquent manner they've ever heard, promises them the action that their fathers have never delivered, promises them a role in the glorious revolution and a place in history, and probably offers them mounds of cocaine.

All the Death Eaters we see, or the core of them, appear to be in this age range where they'd be in Hogwarts or just out of it when Voldemort came knocking. I can imagine they're all whipped up with excitement, YEAH LET'S BLOW UP THE MUDBLOODS and for some that's great, for others... things don't go the way they expected.

October 31, 1981: It All Falls Apart

Regulus famously steals Tom's horcrux. I imagine it wasn't so much that he learned the error of his ways but that he saw what Tom Riddle was really after: the destruction of his very society.

Lucius is riding high until October 31, 1981 and he sees the complete destruction of the entire Black family. Lucius' priorities greatly shift and as he grows older he prays Voldemort never returns. Unfortunately, Tom does, and he charges interest.

Bellatrix absolutely loses her mind, refuses to accept reality, and tries to torture the Longbottoms for information they do not possess. She is imprisoned in Azkaban and never truly recovers from this.

Snape ends up the cause of death for Lily Evans and must forever live with the guilt and be tied to her prophesied son. He also becomes Dumbledore's lackey forever, which ultimately gets him killed.

Point being, no one's having a good time. Some because they figure out being a Death Eater wasn't all it was cracked up to be, and others because they had the Voldemort rug pulled out from under their feet when Tom Riddle disappears.

Pettigrew flees and lives as the Weasley rat for nearly fifteen years.

They're left making a mad scramble as they try to pick up the pieces of their lives.

Canon Catches Up

More than ten years go by and then suddenly, in a muggle graveyard, the surviving Death Eaters discover that they are bound to Voldemort for the rest of their lives.

Death cannot stop this man and he has branded them: there's no escape.

Some are still enthusiastic supporters of the cause: Bellatrix is vindicated that her lord has returned, he rescues her from hell on earth, and everything's finally coming up Bella. Barty is similar in actively working for Voldemort's resurrection.

Lucius, meanwhile, lives in constant terror. Karkaroff desperately flees the country and hopes Tom will not find him. Snape, is in fact, Dumbledore's agent. Pettigrew only returned in utter desperation and has now cut off his own hand.

They're not the young men they were, some of them have families, to some of the past ten years have been utterly miserable. They have to watch as their children make the same damn mistakes they did, be sucked into this same hell hole, and there's nothing they can do about it.

There is a notable reluctance for the cause, and yet, they have to try with the same vigor or this madman will kill them all.

And it's all worthless anyway: come 1998, Voldemort dies again (perhaps for real this time, who knows, Harry Potter seems to think so for whatever reason) and then they are imprisoned for their acts as Death Eaters.

And they just laugh, because how badly Lucius wishes he could go back in time and tell his eighteen-year-old self, "YOU DUMB FUCK, LEAVE NOW!"

But Do They Learn Anything?

No.

Just because we see some of them regret being Death Eaters doesn't mean they regret their beliefs. Their beliefs were fine, even blowing up people here and there, a bit gauche but fine.

But maybe following Voldemort blindly was a bad idea.

Are They More Competent Than the Order?

No.

Tom Riddle is terrifyingly competent in that he infiltrates the government with ease, has spies everywhere, and all but proclaims himself minister one day and nobody blinks.

He gains the full support of most of the wizarding world's wealthiest and prestigious families.

But he doesn't actually give these people anything to do. Because there's nothing for them to do, with them, Tom's won. He owns the Wizengamot, the Ministry, everything.

There's no need to fight. It's over, there never was a war. Society is primed to accept Tom Riddle as their ruler.

However, the likes of Bellatrix LeStrange thinks there's a glorious war on, so "uh, go out and blow up a few muggles, have fun." And the young Death Eaters (and the older ones), think they've committed this great, daring, brave, and very important act.

Tom only seems to hand out real assignments when in desperate straits or else when being particularly vindictive.

Lucius, after messing up with the diary, is told to retrieve a prophecy he is not allowed to touch in a department of the ministry he should have no access to. If he fails: Tom kills his entire family. When Lucius does fail, Tom assigns his son to assassinate an already dying Dumbledore. These aren't real tasks, though they do have the appearance of one, and consequences for failure.

Barty, Tom is forced to rely on, as he is trapped in this dying infant's body. And better Barty, someone who is truly loyal and seems fairly clever, than Peter Pettigrew who is a miserable scum bag who'd sell his grandmother for a bar of soap.

Barty, of course, fucks this up. Rather than just kidnap Harry Potter at any of the many easy points this could be done (Hogsmeade trip, lure Harry out to Hogsmeade with super secret serial information about Voldemort/Snape being a Death Eater, etc.), Barty is determined to make use of the Triwizard Tournament to destroy his father's legacy.

This means rather than a few weeks, it takes months to kidnap Harry, and even then they bring along an extra boy who then gets killed and provides some evidence that Tom Riddle has in fact returned. (Somebody murdered Cedric). It takes months and Barty actively ensuring Harry makes it through the tournament and does well, leaving open the possibility that he might get caught helping Harry cheat at any moment. And of course, Barty has to pretend to be Madeye Moody for months, keeping his man locked and drugged in his trunk.

Thankfully, Moody's such a paranoid wreck, no one even notices.

Quirrell, Tom is forced to rely on. Quirrell fucks up, though admittedly not as badly as Barty. Quirrell fails to steal the stone when it's in transit/in Gringotts. He fails to murder Harry Potter, an eleven year old boy in the world's most dangerous school. He rouses Snape's suspicion almost immediately. Then of course he doesn't get the stone. He at least gets to the room with the stone and nearly overpowers Harry and gets it had he not been mysteriously lit on fire by the power of love/Lily Evans.

The only one Tom ever really relies on by choice is Snape. Snape is charged with spying on Dumbledore and later running Hogwarts (which he fucks up).

There is only one competent man in Britain: Severus Snape. Which is, of course, why he's a double agent that Dumbledore and Tom both extensively rely on despite his being a double agent.

There's no one else.

Tom Riddle doesn't make use of the Death Eaters but given they prove themselves enthusiastically incompetent at every turn I don't blame him. Just pretend to give them something to do and hope it makes them feel important.

That's all I've got in general, you want anything else you'll have to ask for something more specific.

[certainenthusiastfan]

I just got a dark tiger and bunny AU idea.

What if yuri never got his powers when trying to stop his father from attacking his mother? What if the burn was so severe that yuri was killed on the spot? Mr. Legend realizes what he’s done and is utterly horrified that he murdered his own son, whilst his wife sobs uncontrollably as she cradles her sons body, finally snapping and yells at her husband that he murdered their boy and that he’s no hero, causing him to run away and disappear from the public as a hero, unable to forgive himself for letting the alcohol and his declining powers to turn him into a bitter man who ruined his family and failing to be the example he set for other NEXTS.

Then he finds out the truth about maverick and ouroboros, infuriated that he was working for terrorists and a criminal organization and vows revenge for allowing maverick to lie to him all this time. He goes rouge and starts training physically to make up for his declining powers and starts going after murderers and people he believes are working for ouroboros.

Meanwhile he deals with the hallucinations of his deceased son asking him angrily, “you always told me to never turn a blind eye to evil! Why did you become the bad guy to mom and me?! Why did you hurt mom and then kill me?!” With mr. Legend saying with guilt, “because I was selfish and thought my powers were what made me important, and I allowed my anger to consume me and you and your mother suffered for it….I know I’ll never be forgiven for what did, but all I can do now is follow what I’ve always preached, never turn a blind eye to evil, and actually mean it. I’m sorry son.”

He would meet kotetsu, the boy he saved years ago, seeing him as the old veteran hero losing his powers like he did back then and would immediately tell him to quick now and not let the hero business destroy him or his relationship with his daughter. Only for kotetsu to tell him that even if he loses all his powers he will never stop being a hero and help those in need.

Soon the fight between the heroes and maverick happens, and mr. Legend goes one on one with maverick calling him out on hiring ouroboros to give weapons to the criminals and endangering the public and heroes for ratings, and bleeding him dry when his powers declined and had him take credit for his old hero mates work, causing resentment between them and making him feel worthless. While maverick retorts saying, “you chose to drink and abuse your family, which in turn led you to murdering your son. I’m not at fault for it.” Which leads me. Legend to reply, “you’re right, it doesn’t, I’ll carry that sun till the day I die, just as you’ll bare the sun of killing Barnabys parents and using ouroboros for your own gain.”

Then he kills maverick and vanishes, feeling like he’s done something right for once and visits his sons grave to apologize once again, while visiting his ex wife who lives in a old age and looks at her sadly, knowing the trauma he’s caused her and then leaves sternbild for good, leaving the new heroes to take over and serve justice.

[markosmate]

lady

Pairing; Marko x Emerson!Reader

Summary; Moving to a different state with your younger brothers and mother just to live with your grandfather was hard enough, but falling in love with a vampire and then watching your brother do the same thing? Much different story.

Warnings; strong language

au://  Welp lovelies I had promised you a Marko series in February that I started writing while I was manic, then after writing a good five/six chapters I fell into a deep dark hole of depression and didn’t write anything but sad, worthless poetry about a boy I’m in love with who doesn’t love me back :) But now it’s May, a spark of inspiration and happiness has suddenly hit me and I’ve come back to this series to finally deliver it to you!! I hope y’all like it cause I literally stress cried over finishing it three different times :,)

I’d also like to point out that any kind of feedback at all is so so appreciated. Most of my inspiration comes from feeding off of people’s reactions to what I write. So if you enjoy it or have any recommendations or comments at all please please don’t be shy to send me an ask or DM or even comment to let me know :( Thank you and enjoy!!

Part 2

I wasn’t exactly mad about moving, there was nothing holding me in Phoenix that I would be particularly sad about leaving behind. The only thing that struck a nerve was that it was dumped out of nowhere on me. Suddenly Mom had divorced Dad, let him keep everything, and made plans with Grandpa for us to move into his place with him. A little prior warning would have been appreciated, but regardless when we were told it didn’t change the fact that everything we knew was changing. Sam wasn’t happy about it at all, leaving his friends, leaving Dad. Michael... well Michael didn’t really have an opinion. In my view, he was just indifferent. He didn’t really care where the hell we were as long as he had a motorcycle, a job, and some hot chicks to swoon over.

But here we were, packed into Mom’s truck and driving through a town that I’d most likely have memorized like the back of my hand in a good few days. As the three in the car argued over which station to keep on, I turned my head and leaned my forehead on the window of the car. I watched the beach as we drove along the road, and admired the waves hitting against the sand.

I was ready to drift off until we got to Grandpa’s house when a short, exited yell left Mom’s lips. “Oh!” She grinned happily as Sam landed on a station familiar to her. “Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Oh, that’s from my era! Grooving on a Sunday afternoon!” She sung along with the song as Sam threw his head back and groaned in protest. I laughed at her antics, enjoying seeing my Mom acting so carefree and happy. 

“Alright, keep going, keep going.” Mom and Sam agreed with each other at the same time, Mom leaning over to continue skipping through the stations. Finally, the next station was agreed on and my pounding head thanked the universe for the quiet that I hadn’t been able to achieve the entire drive here. “Hey we’re almost there!”

“Ugh,” Sam scrunched his nose up in disgust after taking a deep breath. I leaned forward to wrap my arms around his head-rest and pull my face closer to the open window. The pungent smell hit me, and I recognized it immediately, low tide, but it wasn’t bad - anything to do with the beach was calming to me regardless. “What’s that smell?”

“Ah!” Mom breathed in deeply and turned to share a knowing grin with me, “That’s the ocean air!”

I turned to look at the welcoming sign, taking in the colors and faded lettering. “Smells like someone died.” Sam muttered as Mom tutted at him softly. 

“That’s likely.” I muttered to Michael, nudging his head in the direction of the back of the sign, where in big red spray-painted letters sat the phrase “Murder Capitol of the World.”

“Aw guys, I know the last year hasn’t been easy. But I do think you’re really going to enjoy living in Santa Carla.” Mom tried to remain happy about the situation, but a shared glance with Michael after we both read over the sign revealed there wasn’t much he was excited for.

The rest of the drive only increased my excitement. Hippies galore filled the streets, a large amusement park covered most of the boardwalk, and the rest was filled with small shops and food stands. We stopped for awhile so Mom could give some teenagers rummaging through garbage some money to eat and so Michael could unhinge his bike and ask around for job openings, but before I could even think to step out of the car and get a look around we were already heading into the backroads to get to Grandpa’s house.

Grandpa’s house was farther into the plains than expected, but still only a good fifteen to twenty minute drive away from town. Before Mom could ever fully park the car, I had already jumped out and was looking around the property. Michael pulled his bike up next to Mom’s car, and they all took a good few seconds to look around at all the wood carvings and chimes before turning their vehicles off. I took note of the horses grazing in one of the back fields before walking around the front of the truck and seeing a man laying on his back across the front porch steps.

Sam lead the way towards him before Mom cut in front and marched up the steps to squat beside him. “Dad?” She questioned gently. “Dad?” The three of us leaned closer to get a better look.

“Looks like he’s dead.” Michael remarked.

“Like... really dead.” I quipped in, raising an eyebrow at Mom.

“No, no. He’s just a deep sleeper.” She brushed our comments off.

“If he’s dead can we go back to Phoenix?” Sam remarked, earning a snort from me and a sharp look from Mom. 

Suddenly Grandpa sat up, a cocky smirk apparent on his face. “Playing dead. And from what I hear, doing a damn good job of it.”

Sam rolled his eyes in exasperation before Mom laughed faintly. “Oh, Dad!”

-

That night, Mom decided that it would be good for the four of us to leave the house after a night of unpacking and explore the boardwalk when it’s at its liveliest. I could admit it looked much more enjoyable now that it was dark and a little chilly, the sweaty people that had been occupying it earlier were now less sweaty and more stoned.

Almost as soon as Mom’s car and Michael’s bike were parked, Mom sent us off on our own so she could spend some time staking out a job in one of the family-owned shops. “Do you think she’ll be able to find one?” Sam questioned as the three of us weaved through crowds, trying to find our way to the beach concert. We could certainly hear it, we were just having a bit of trouble actually getting to it.

“One what? A job?” Michael scoffed as if it was hard to believe, still bitter over the fact there was no legal jobs for him to get hired in.

I laughed, elbowing him softly in the side, knowing that this place was exactly his vibe and in time he would most likely come to love living here. Sam was the only one I was actually worried about. “She’ll probably be able to find one. What, with all these missing people, there’s bound to be tons of job openings.”

“You’re telling me. It’s like there’s hundreds of bullet-boards around every corner with dozens of people missing. This place really is the Murder Capital.” Michael remarked as the concert finally came into our line of sight.

“Don’t say that!” Sam pleaded, shoving Michael’s shoulder with his eyebrows knitted tightly.

Michael just held his hand up in surrender and with one last shrug of his shoulders he turned to me. “You checking out the shops? We’ll find you once we get bored.”

“Sounds like a plan.” I agreed, turning sharply on my heel and blindly making my way back into the crowd. The concert was loud, sweaty, and crowded, and it wasn’t even my style of music - the last thing I wanted to do was spend my first night there. I figured it would be much more productive if I were to check out all the shops and stands running up and down the entire area, maybe find some new pieces of jewelry, or even a possible summer job opportunity.

Many places caught my eye, and I made a mental note to check them out the next time I had free money to spend, as it wouldn’t be wise for me to make an impulse-buy when I’m so close to being completely broke. Instead a small stand in the middle of the walkway drew me to it. A piercing stand. One person working on someone already sitting on the chair. There was a large wall selection of different studs, and many different kinds of disinfectants lined along the counter.

I walked closer to the wall, admiring all the different designs they had. I’d absolutely love to get a helix or orbital piercing, but I knew it wasn’t the wisest to spend money doing something like that at a small stand on a boardwalk in Santa Carla of all places. I was suddenly broken out of my thoughts when a voice spoke up directly behind me.

“It’s a scam, you know.” I jumped, hand flying to my chest, and whipping around to look at the owner. A teenage boy, my age, maybe a little older, with long curly blond hair and a grin that could have probably wooed me into his bed by the end of the night had he not literally just scared the shit out of me.

I laughed breathlessly, shaking my head. “What is?”

“The piercings. If you need one done, I could do it for you. But they use the guns instead of a needle which will definitely infect if you’re planning on doing a cartilage one.” He explained with a tilt of his head as he turned and began making his way towards the restaurants. I took that as an invite to follow, jogging to catch up and walking next to him.

“You know a lot about piercings?” I tried to make small talk, not wanting him to get away just yet.

He nodded with a confident smirk. “I did my own, and my friends. Someone had to learn.” I laughed a little at his mock-annoyed tone and shoved my hands into my pockets to appear to be doing something. He suddenly stopped and turned to me, holding out his hand. “Marko, by the way.”

“Ivory.” I accepted his hand and we both shook, hard and firm.

“You’re new.” He nodded as if finally understanding something that had been going on inside his own head. “I would’ve noticed you before if you’d been here all along.”

We dropped each other’s hand and I gave him a quizzical look. “What do you mean by that?”

He barked out a laugh and shook his head. “Nothing rude, you’re just too gorgeous to go unnoticed around here.” Before I could reply, another voice cut in from a few yards away.

“Marko! Marko, man, we’re supposed to meet David in ten!” I looked over to see another punk-looking dude calling out to Marko with his hands cupped around his mouth.

I laughed and look back towards the curly blond. “See you around?”

He nodded in confirmation, sending me one last crooked smile before turning to jog over to his other friend. I turned as well, making my way back into the crowd and away from the middle lane stands. I didn’t make it very far before the body of my youngest brother crashed into my side. I glanced down at him in bewilderment as we used each other to steady ourselves.

“Sam? Aren’t you supposed to be with Michael?” I laughed as he looked as though he’d just had the weirdest conversation of his life.

“Well, I was. Then he saw some girl at the concert and wandered after her so I went to check out the comic store.” He explained, shrugging before letting his eyes wander around once more in search of Michael. I rolled my eyes, of course Michael left Sam behind to go chase after some girl. It didn’t take long to find him, he was only a little further down the stretch of restaurants. He was more towards the end, walking out of the crowd near where the last building - a bar - sat in place.

We walked up behind him, and as soon as I was at his side I followed his eyes to a girl who was walking behind a small child, hand on his shoulder, and steering him in a certain direction. She was pretty - with big, curly hair and a beautiful smile that curled her lips up as her eyes grazed over all the lights of the carousel one last time for the night. I followed her line of sight, trying to place why Michael was following her instead of just walking up and introducing himself, but I immediately realized what the problem was.

She hoisted herself up onto the back of a motorcycle, accepting the help of the blond driver. He had a spiked mullet, dressed in all black, and when he realized Michael was staring at his girl, a cocky kind of smirk crossed his face. His friends parked next him all revved their engines to a start, and I tore my eyes from the platinum blond to see the others. I didn’t manage to catch a good look at two of them, because my eyes immediately looked onto those of the punk from earlier who’d started a conversation with me over pierced ears.

He was already looking at me, and when he realized my attention immediately locked onto him, a predatory look filled the black circles of his eyes and his lips formed into a boyish smirk directed exactly at me. He lifted his hand in a short wave, laughing along with the friend who called him away from me earlier as he shoved Marko’s shoulder in a teasing way. I lifted my hand in a small acknowledging wave back, but was knocked out of my small trance by Sam, who began teasing Michael.

“Come on, she stiffed ya!” Sam laughed harmlessly, gently punching Michael’s shoulder and turning to probably go and find Mom. I broke my gaze away from Marko immediately, turning to follow after Sam and not bothering to look back at all as I heard the bikes pull out and speed off down the road.

“Too bad she left with Mr. Mullet, she was pretty.” I tried to break the tension with Michael, I really didn’t want him to be upset over the lose of the girl, he still had all of Santa Carla’s teenage population of girls to meet.

He cracked a smile and nudged his shoulder into mine. “She really was.”

Once we made it home for the night, I separated from both my brothers and made my way into my own room. It was the smallest of all of ours, but that’s the main reason why I had chose it. It was cozy, and cute. I liked the way it came out once I had finished decorating it.

I couldn’t help but let my mind wander to those boys on the motorcycles from earlier that night. Marko seemed nice enough, even if I didn’t know whether or not I was brave enough to try to pursue a friendship with his more than intimidating friends. Just as I came to the conclusion that I should just get over myself and approach them, a sharp sting of anxiety wedged itself into my gut and nauseous filled my stomach and rose up in my throat. No. I didn’t need to become friends with those boys, there was something off, something I didn’t need to meddle in.

If I saw them again, I’d avoid eye contact and conversation completely. I was never able to understand my anxiety, but I always listened to it when it struck me.

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S5 Ep 21: Joey Takes A Snack at that Cray Sauce

Hey guys! The 17 yo cat with kidney disease I was out of town watching lived to see another week (she was a very good girl). Which means now I can get back to the good stuff. This episode is brought to you by the colors red and orange, and I hope you like this color, and I hope you like this after effects they CGId onto this volcano.

Anyways, they first have to do this familiar ledge fall, because, it’s Yugioh, and if there’s a bunch of lava, Tristan wants

in

that.

And then Joey decides...hey you know what? I’m gonna jet. And...it’s not the first time he’s pulled a wild card and been unpredictable, I mean none of us can really forget that time he decided to get murdered by Mai instead of going in a straight line towards the end boss last season, but this time it was kind of funny how it was hastily composed.

And off he goes, folks.

As he left, Tristan was like “Ya dummy!” and Tea was like “nono, we gotta encourage him--run Joey! You can do it! See? Now he’s gone.” and it’s like...Tea is either trying to kill Joey with her support or honestly thinks that’s good support and I can’t fully tell which she is.

(read more under the cut)

It’s at this point that Grandpa has the gall to say “Did any of you happen to catch the lore? I fell asleep during that part.” Just like my Dad when we watch any movie as a family.

Meanwhile, maybe 100 ft away from them, Joey is in mortal peril but it’s Joey, so he’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it.

In fact, this episode seems like it would have been a better arc if it stretched out more episodes because the Joey neglect happens so quickly and out of nowhere that it’s...less organic than your average children’s show. Honestly it’s kind of funny how fast the fall of Joey Wheeler happens this episode. And I think it could have been a fun interesting time if it was handled better but youknow...it’s crammed into one single episode and you’ll se what happens.

As Yugi ruminates a cool thing that would have been really interesting this season--like running into more rando’s from other periods of time than just Alexander--Tea looks across the lava highway and was like “found it.”

Back at the dragon situation, Joey starts opening his heart to this dragon and it’s like...did they originally intend for Seto Kaiba to be here? Because I guess Joey uses Red Eyes a lot, but I also skip a lot of the card games, so when I think “who likes the dragon card?” Joey is not the first one I think of.

That and like he got over his Atlantis dragon card like hella fast, right? Like totally already over that?

And also if you thought Joey would pull out his other dragon to try and communicate or get a hold of this dragon like...nah.

Back at the fort, these guys decided to ditch Joey to get to this sword at the top of a volcano to solve the riddle, and what follows is some weird ass canon.

As I’m pulling up my Google Doc with my deathcount on it, Tristan decides this is the time he won’t freakin die and turn into a robot monkey for 15 episodes.

And he makes a huge ass green dragon. You’d think this MASSIVE dragon would do more in this episode, but nah. Although he pulls out Massive Dragon, it’s like kind of worthless, so he mostly puts it back in his pocket.

And then Tea pulls this elf chick out and it’s freakin hilarious because look at her giant elf.

Like Tea is not a small person! Are Yugioh monsters all 12 ft tall???

Yugi is also all ham about fusing with his dude now. It knocked him out a couple episodes ago, but Yugi is so keen on destroying his body that he’s back in clown town. And like...took his Grandpa for a ride, I guess, although I’m pretty sure Summoned Skull has wings.

Course, Summoned Skulls insides are his outsides...and I dunno if you’d want Summoned Skull to give you a big hug and carry you around. Summoned Skull just seems like he’s sticky.

And, once they make it to the top of the volcano where the plot sword lives, we first have to visit this plot twist of the century.

YEAH.

OUT OF NOWHERE.

THIS EPISODE IS NOT LONG.

Aaaaaaand now Joey is going to try and kill everyone here. I did not skip anything, PS, Joey dipped off-screen.

PS, everyone’s reaction to “I will kill you!” was a whole lot of rolling their eyes at first being like “Joey, stawp.”

So, now that Joey’s randomly possessed by this dragon, we get a peek into what Joey’s brain zone looks like. It’s a whole lot of nothing in between his ears.

Consistent to S1 actually, when we had a bit of a Joey Brain Zone moment. It was a blank void there, too.

So apparently Joey decided, back when he was confessing his love to Red Eyes Black Dragon, that he would jump on it’s back to calm it down--and it just...fused with him. So...now he’s a dragon.

Sure, I guess. I mean...there’s really no limit on what a Duel monster can’t do, so I’ll allow it.

The team tries to just say “ah screw it” and pull up this sword themselves (you can kind of see it in this shot) and the sword just slurps into the dirt even more out of spite. Seeing that there’s a bit of a time limit, Grandpa pulls this one out of his back pocket.

Yo, Grandpa’s not even possessed. Hey, remember that time that Grandpa nearly died giving Arthur Hawkins the last of his water back in Egypt? Remember that?

Like uh, you can definitely tell this was made by a different team that may not have gotten that cue card. It may have been lost in the mail. Either way, kind of a hilarious heel turn on Grandpa’s personality here, although it does make logical sense to save most of the kids from sacrificing one kid. It’s just...that kid is Joey...so...that’s like his adopted Grandson, right?

So Yugi does something very on brand for Yugi and invades a brain.

And like...obviously Yami and Yugi would say no to this. They would never do this. Not after all the dozens and dozens of times they have sacrificed the world and everything for their best friends.

But...maybe just this one time we can kill Joey? As a treat?

So uh...Yami hella vaporizes Joey with his new powers. Luckily, Joey Wheeler has Shaggy Doo energy and just...he survives it for some reason. I don’t know why he isn’t dead, maybe because the dragon made him stronger? Eh, don’t do the math (on any part of this episode).

So Joey gets up and is like “I know the answer to the riddle!” As the sword kinda melts into the volcano and Gramps is like “Well we’re dead, actually, so no one cares!”

And Joey’s like “Look!” and he hops onto the back of the Red Eyes Black dragon and reveals this random thing:

Because it turns out, that the dragon was the real problem and not this volcano with a sword in it.

Which youknow...could have been cool if this episode wasn’t so many insane plot points so quickly. Kind of a lot of episode here. This episode could have been a whole season of a show.

Like how long was Joey Possessed by Marik in S2? Like 5 or 6 episodes? And you can see how much more successful it was at selling the story although it was a lot of the same themes and ideas. Pacing is important.

And then Joey passes out from the suit juice.

Which is when we get one more Alexander cameo, just kinda watching them leave and onto the next arc of their little journey.

They sure did put a lot of eyeliner on Alexander the great, and, being real...he may have actually been wearing a hell ton of dope eyeliner when he was alive, so this could be historically accurate, for all we know. Those old marble statues used to be painted, after all. Maybe they had dope Yugioh eyeliner down to his cheekbones? One can wish.

And like if you ever get the time--seeing what those marble statues looked like with paint on it is so freakin goofy and fun, I love it. I love that for 600 years we thought those marble statues were supposed to be naked and white but it’s like, nah man--this guy’s just wearing a skin tight breast plate and when you paint it, it’s so garish it’s like a freakin clown outfit.

But anyway, that’s all for now! Hope y’all have a good weekend, and as always, here’s a link to read these in chrono order, if you just got here!

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

[julieloveupstead]

"You Are My Now and Forever" - Upstead

Description: My version of what could or might happen after the last scene from 8x16. I hope you enjoy it

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Events that had taken place only a few moments ago were blurring into one. I didn't know what was real and what was fake. I don't even remember by what miracle I managed to get home. Everything seemed so strange to me, as if all the movements were made by another person, I was just looking at it.

When I entered the apartment it was dark and which was ironic because that's exactly how I felt - as if the darkness had taken over me and I couldn't get out of it.

- Hey, I thought I'd meet you at the hospital - and as if out of nowhere Jay appeared, who like the light he'd just turned on in the living room made all the bad memories from an hour ago evaporate. In that moment, I realized for the first time how much of an influence Jay has on me. How much he has changed in my life and how much he means. All my life I didn't know what it meant to love, what it meant to be loved. I didn't have an example of a loving, supportive family at home. Affection, intimacy, loyalty, love, respect these adjectives were not used at home.

I saw that Jay was saying something, but what I couldn't focus on what he was saying. I just tried to nod, because all I had in my head was the thought that I couldn't let the only good thing in my life get screwed up. I have to, I want with all my might to hold on to him and what we have because what we have is so special and for the first time in my life I feel happy and safe. When I'm with him all that matters is the here and now. No work, no case to solve, no problems, no memories, and no mavens from tonight with Voight. It's just him and me. And that thought causes me to say:

- I love you. - stopping my boyfriend in half a step with this (6 months together and calling him a boy it still makes me feel amazing in my lower abdomen and disbelieve that this wonderful man is mine and most importantly wants to be mine)

- I love you too," he says surprised by my bravery, which even I am surprised by, because not long ago he had a panic attack at the sound of those 3 words.

This guy looks at me with such tenderness and love that I don't deserve, and certainly not after what I did today. I was beginning to barely see through the tears appearing in my eyes. I'm afraid it's the last time I'll hear those words out of his mouth and surely as soon as he hears about what happened in that warehouse in his eyes I'll see disappointment and that will mean my end. Feeling how much I wanted to keep him I let go of all the barriers, because in the end what else was left for me?

- You are so honest and I... - and I just wanted to feel accepted, loved and seen as valuable. Somehow I couldn't say the words out loud. I swallowed my saliva loudly at the memory of my childhood as my own father instilled in me that I deserved nothing, that I was just a worthless loser. And now that I finally felt that I was finally worth something to someone, worth loving, worth trusting, worth telling the biggest demons he was stewing inside and worth opening his heart once again, now I had to break something.

- Hey, hey, everything's going to work out with us too - the way he calmly and tenderly addressed me hurt me even more because he recognized my anxiety right away. It always surprises me how accurately he can read me as if from an open book, in fact I read him too.

- I don't want to be without you," I said with a fear that I was no longer able to mask. I can't live without him. Without it, all my demons will hit me with double or even triple force. Jay is the rock for me, the anchor of what I cannot survive without, he is my everything.

- You never will," he said with tears in his eyes and a slight smile of delight. This man surprised me all the time with how much love he had for me. I wish I could say or show how much I love him, but I fail every damn time. Maybe my father was right and I don't deserve any love?

- Maybe we should get married? - i was surprised by what I had just said, and so was Jay, and yet I really feltrything's going to work out with us too - the way he calmly and tenderly addressed me hurt me even more because he recognized my anxiety right away. It always surprises me how accurately he can read me as if from an open book, in fact I read him too.

- I don't want to be without you," I said with a fear that I was no longer able to mask. I can't live without him. Without it, all my demons will hit me with double or even triple force. Jay is the rock for me, the anchor of what I cannot survive without, he is my everything.

- You never will," he said with tears in his eyes and a slight smile of delight. This man surprised me all the time with how much love he had for me. I wish I could say or show how much I love him, but I fail every damn time. Maybe my father was right and I don't deserve any love?

- Maybe we should get married? - i was surprised by what I had just said, and so was Jay, and yet I really felt this is the right time. I don't want to lose him. I'm afraid of losing him. I could feel the panic starting to set in.

- I'm serious, let's get married," I repeated this time more confidently to reassure him that I wasn't joking.

- Honey," he smiled tenderly, and a single tear began to run down her cheek. His gaze showed nothing like love, his one hand went to my cheek and brushed it. The gesture caused me to let my eyes close and snuggle more into his warm and soft hand. - I would be honored to marry you, to call you my wife, to hear you call me husband from your lips. I can't wait for the day I see you in church in a beautiful white dress when we have a bunch of beautiful children. I love you so much that you can't even imagine and I can't imagine on this finger - with his other hand he lifted my right hand, with his finger he played with my heart finger and then he kissed it in the place where the ring and the wedding ring should be. And he looked at me again - I love you and I will never stop. Remember what I told you a few weeks ago? I'm not going anywhere, really anywhere. So tell me what's going on? What happened to make your beautiful head germinate with the thought that I might leave you? - throughout the monologue he spoke in a calm, quiet and monotonous voice that is reserved only for me. Jay always knows when something is bothering me and as of now he knows exactly what, well maybe almost. We are mentally connected and I never wanted it to end. More tears flowed down my cheeks as he gently wiped them away with his thumb. I pulled my nose, wondering how I was going to tell him all this.

- I can't tell you. I'm afraid you'll leave me, that you'll hate me, that... - my voice was breaking.

- Hey, Hailey, baby. It's never gonna happen. - said with tenderness and assurance. I closed my eyes again and thought once again of a goat's death and began to tell the story.

- Voight found Roy. He specifically sent us to the houses we were bouncing off the door, and he chose the right house himself, where he found information on where Roy was. After I dropped Adam off at Kim's house to take care of Makayla I followed Hank's trail and found him in the warehouse. - i paused to swallow my saliva, giving him a moment to calm down. Jay didn't say a word, just listened. I felt my legs no longer me and Jay guided me to the couch. I sat up and he planted me in his lap, cradling me tightly against his torso. To calm myself down a bit, I start playing with the fingers of his hand and continued on. - Walton was handcuffed to the pipe and Voight was beating him - I closed my eyes having the events described before my eyes. Jay must have started to suspect something because he pulled me tighter to him so that I was almost lying on top of him. - When Voight spotted me he pointed the gun in my direction - I could feel my defender's muscles toning I knew he remembered the story of the burglar when I was twelve and how he when not was in bad shape after a bout of PTSD set in and pointed a gun in my direction. He still blames himself for that and for what he said at the very beginning of our relationship about my father and my life. I forgave him a long time ago, and he hasn't forgiven himself. And how could I not love him, but going back - Jay I really tried to do everything right. I tried to reason with the Sergeant, but he was like he was in another world. Eyes full of murder, and zero emotion on his face. It was the first time I really saw Hank's resemblance to my father and it scared me so much. I thought I'd finally convinced him to keep Roy, that it could all still be explained. When Voight tried to unseat him Roy grabbed his gun - my breathing began to quicken, I closed my eyes - I thought Walton was going to shoot Voight. It was a good shot, I... no... i had a way out. It was a good shot.

- Those, come to me, sweetheart - when I started to cry Jay kissed my forehead and when I thought that you can't hug a man tighter, I was wrong. - Roy was unpredictable, he almost killed Kim and Kent and could have killed you and Voight. It was a good shot. Baby look at me - I did as he asked. He kissed my eye, then my eyes, then my nose and mouth. - It's not your fault, it's Voights you understand? He's got blood on his hands, not you. I love you and I will not let anyone hurt you. Hailey Anne Upton you are mine now and you will be my future and eternity you understand? - I looked into his eyes and became convinced that he really thinks so. I was overwhelmed by the love I get from him, I'm very lucky. I kissed him tenderly as if there was no tomorrow. I was unable to say how much I love him, or how grateful I am for his presence in my life, so I hoped a kiss would give it all away.

"I love you Jay," I put my forehead to his.

- I love you Hailey - this time he kissed me.

- As for my question ... - I started hesitantly, but Jay cut me off

- We will go back to this, you will see the engagement, it will be one of the most beautiful memories of our lives, of course, apart from the our wedding and the arrival of our children - he laughed tenderly and winked at me and I laughed and hugged more in my boyfriend, in my present and the future.

[cosmicjoke]

Ugh, effing GOD, I swear with each chapter, my hatred for Zeke grows more and more.  I’m up to 119, and the entire sequence with Falco and Colt was just... sickening.  Zeke’s really trying to act like it’s such a burden to him, to have to turn Falco into a Titan and kill Colt in the process.  It’s absolutely appalling, the way Colt pleads with Zeke to just wait until Falco is out of range before he screams, not even asking him to give up on whatever his plan is, but just asking him to wait, reminding him of the entire reason Colt agreed to inherit the Beast Titan in the first place, because he wanted to protect his family, and still, STILL, Zeke is unmoved.  But the most disgusting thing, I think, is how Zeke says to Colt, “You care for your little brother.  As do I.  So it is truly a shame.”  Alright, back up just a second here.  You know what this is?  It’s called hypocrisy folks.  This is, once again, Zeke absolving himself of his crimes by framing them as mercy.  This is, once again, Zeke installing himself as a martyr, taking on the burden of hard and painful decisions to do what’s “right”, because, you see, he’s really a hero, just doing what needs to be done to save humanity.  So even though it might seem heartless and cruel and mercenary for him to turn on all of his comrades and use them without hesitation against their wills, murder them all and leave them psychologically damaged for life, no, no, no, you’ve got it all wrong!  Zeke is doing this out of compassion!  Out of love, and care, and mercy!  See, he cares about Falco JUST AS MUCH as Colt, and he really is so sad about having to then turn Falco into a fucking Titan so he can sick him on Reiner, really very upset about literally using him as a tool to achieve his goal of him and Eren touching.  And see, because Zeke tells us he cares about Falco, we’re supposed to believe it.  And we’re supposed to believe that it’s really Zeke who’s the one actually suffering here, by having to hurt the ones he supposedly loves and cares for.  By having to kill people who trusted him and believed in him to the very end, and still, despite everything, cared for him, enough so to try and talk with him and show compassion towards him.  Because it’s all for the “greater good”.  And what is that greater good?  Oh, the euthanization of an entire race of people, that’s all!  Making sure no one can ever reproduce again so that an entire race of human beings goes literally extinct.  Deciding that the lives of entire, unborn generations are so worthless, that he should get to prevent them from even taking place.  That’s Zeke’s greater good.  Zeke is the heroic one, because he’s willing to take on the burden of this pain all by himself, the burden of stabbing every person who ever cared about him in the back, and doesn’t that just make him so special.  See, by MAKING people suffer, that’s how Zeke is going to save them from suffering!  What a genius!  What a noble, good, and kind man!  This is how he frames it.  This is how he sees himself.  He won’t just own up to the things he’s doing.  He won’t admit that they’re terrible, or define what he’s doing for what it actually is, won’t own any of it.  He redefines it all as some noble and heroic deed, frames it all as his noble and selfless sacrifice, his great gift to mankind, his generosity and kindness.  I guess him getting off on crushing people beneath boulders is just a manifestation of that kindness, huh?

Alright, I think I’m gonna puke.

This mother fucker.  

Guess what?  Actions speak louder than words.  And all of Zeke’s sad frowny faces aren’t going to convince me for a second that this bitch actually cares at all, about anyone, or anything.  He’s so completely delusional, that he’s convinced himself of his own line of bullshit, that by murdering people, he’s saving them from suffering.  That he’s saving people from suffering by robbing them of their agency, their future, their lives.  And that he doesn’t actually have anything to be sorry for, because what he’s doing is mercy, and he’s the hero, because he’s the only one who can do what it takes by betraying everyone who ever gave a shit about him and believed in him.  Colt says to Zeke that “The Zeke I know would never bring children into this.”, and that reveals everything, doesn’t it?  Because, see, Zeke’s ALREADY brought children into this.  He already got two of the three warrior candidates killed in Liberio, could have and even intended to kill Gabi and Colt too, in the process, would have killed Falco, if Eren hadn’t kept him with him and Reiner in that basement.  He’s already gotten children into this by deciding that he was going to rob every future child of even being born.  

The Zeke Colt knew, the Zeke Colt BELIEVED in, was a lie, and always was a lie.  He really thought, by reminding Zeke of their connection, reminding him of why he became a Warrior in the first place, reminded him of the bond they all shared, that Zeke would realize what he was doing, remember how much he cared about all of them, and stop.  But Zeke didn’t stop, didn’t even hesitate, or consider for a moment what Colt was saying or asking, because the truth about Zeke is that he’s never connected with another, single human being in his life.  He’s a severe sociopath, who feels nothing for anyone.  He just said “Oh, what a shame.”  and then turned Falco into a Titan and killed Colt on the spot.  He took the information Colt willingly shared with him about Falco ingesting his spinal fluid, and USED IT, intentionally turning Falco into a Titan then and there because he knew it would be advantageous in getting Eren to make contact with him.   It’s Zeke saying “Then it is truly a shame.” that makes me sickest of all, because once again we have Zeke acting at regret, pretending he’s sad and hurting over having to kill two children, like it’s such a burden to him to have had to do something so awful.  If you ever needed proof of Zeke’s egotism, of his utterly self-centered world view, well, here it is.  It’s his own pain that matters in this scenario, see, his own sacrifice.  It’s too bad about Falco and Colt, but I’m the one who’s truly suffering.  Fuuuuuuuck yoooooouuu Zeke.  

Zeke does this shit again and again.  He did it during the battle of Shinganshina, when he killed countless soldiers, swinging wildly between uncontrollable rage and glee as he treated killing them like a game of baseball, literally using them as scapegoats for his anger at his father, to spouting off about how “sorry” he felt for the very people he was murdering, about how pitiful and sad their lives were, and how he was truly doing this for their own good, if only their little minds could comprehend his grand, genius vision.  Oh, poor Zeke, how awful the burden of uniqueness must be, to forever be so misunderstood.  Boo fucking hoo.  He did it again in the forest with Levi, after turning 30 soldiers into Titans and musing to himself about how deeply he regretted having to do it, how he didn’t want to, but how he had no choice, because Levi could “never understand” him, while in the next breath mocking them and Levi, bragging about how there wasn’t even a fight, laughing about it and weaponizing it in an attempt to hurt Levi even further.  And he does it again here, claiming he cares about Falco, and then turning him into a Titan and using him as a tool.  This guy is the biggest, most shameless hypocrite in the history of ever.  Everything, and I mean everything out of his mouth is a lie and a manipulation.  Doubletalk and deflection and delusion.  He doesn’t mean anything he says, other then his obvious, deluded belief in himself as some kind of uniquely special hero who’s going to save the world through his brilliant understanding of all it’s problems.  Even if he has to create those problems himself, apparently.  

I just can’t with this guy.  I can’t.  His sense of self-aggrandizement, delusions of grandeur and self-centered egotism, coupled with the obvious pleasure he takes in hurting others, makes him a rank piece of trash.  I don’t care what anyone says.  That’s what he is.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Top 5 Reasons Doug’s Pretty Great

It’s hard to believe that it’s been nine years since the first episode of S1 was released. I can still remember be a wee little lass first discovering it on youtube and becoming obsessed. At the time, I had no where to play it myself, so I watched as many playthroughs as I could until my family got an xbox. 

While the first episode in this series has a lot of memorable moments, the one that always stands out in people’s memories is the moment where you’re trying to escape the drugstore as walkers pound away at the door and windows, and you realize that both Carley and Doug need your help or they’re going to die. 

But... you can only save one, and whoever you don’t help, they end up being eaten alive by walkers and you get to feel bad about it for the rest of the episode. 

I bring this up because it’s interesting to look back nine years ago and see that... well, not a lot of people saved Doug. Which is crazy, because now the stats are pretty 50/50 with Doug even having a bit of an edge over Carley. That definitely wasn’t the case back then because the stats were more along the line of 20/80.

Why? Well, the writer’s didn’t exactly do the best job of showing how great Doug is in ep1, especially compared to Carley who has more interactions with Lee and more screen time.... which is even funnier because they did actually think they did a good job and were surprised by the results after the episode’s release.

Even back then they had a habit of making imbalanced routes then denying the imbalance... something they never grew out of. 

I guess they were a little butthurt about it since Doug is a favorite among the team given that he’s actually based on a real person, Doug Tabacco, an IT guy they worked with. This got to the point where Telltale never missed an opportunity to tell everyone to #SaveDoug over Carley.

I also love that they use the Stranger to guilt trip everyone who saved Carley by having him be like, “Doug was in a worse position! >:( You only saved Carley because she was a pretty girl!!” just.... real subtle, guys haha

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that more often than not, I choose to save Carley over Doug for many reasons, but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate Doug and enjoy having him around in the off chance I do save him. So I thought it’d be fun to talk about Doug as a character and why he was pretty great as a little tribute, y’know? 

5. Doug’s a pretty funny dude

Now, I wouldn’t exactly call twdg a comedy, y’know? It gets dark, then manages to get even darker at times, but if the game was nothing but doom and gloom, it’d get boring and become unenjoyable. 

While other characters do get a laugh out of me from time to time, I enjoy the humor that Doug brings to the group, even if it’s not intentional and just the way he is. 

Even from the beginning, Doug had me chuckling with the fact that this nerdy dude didn’t want to bring profanity to Lee’s ears when talking about Larry, so he’s just like “ He's kind of a dick... pardon my french,” like Doug.... it’s okay, you can call him an asshole, no one will judge hahaha.

Then there’s the biscuit scene that I think we all know and love. Helps break the tension of meeting these weirdo’s who own a dairy and are totally not suspicious or anything. 

But it’s not even just that Doug is funny, he’s also a character that gets you to crack a smile when he’s talking about something he’s passionate about, or when he’s proud of the alarm he rigged up, or when he’s being adorably awkward. 

One of my favorites is in ep3 when Lee goes to ask Doug if he has any chalk, and he goes into this spiel about charcoal-- “You know, a piece of charcoal is a suitable alternative, depending on your marking surface. Since we're on the subject, did you know that while chalk is traditionally known to be calcium carbonate, what's often used in classrooms is actually made of gypsum, thanks to favorable domestic mining conditions?”

And Lee’s response is just-- “Doug, I did not know that.”

“Happy to be of service.”

It’s just really funny... and it makes you feel better after all the implications about Doug’s mental health in the episode... like you gave him a moment to flex his knowledge and get excited about it. 

But yeah, what can I say? Doug makes me laugh and he brings a bit of light to the groups constant shitshow. 

4. Doug saved the group’s ass at the St John farm

And he did so with a laser pointer. 

I always hate it when Doug/Carley leave the group at the St Johns and remain absent for most of the episode, though I chalk that up to the writers trying to make the different routes easier on themselves, y’know? 

But, at least they come back to save the day. 

In Doug’s case, he’s not comfortable with guns like Carley is, so he’s gotta get creative when it comes to getting Lee’s attention and stopping Andy from hurting Duck and Lee. 

That’s where his fancy little laser pointer comes in. 

We first see him with it during the walk to the farm, but then see it in action after Lee escapes the barn and is nearly blinded by the light. Doug claims he was doing morse code before Lee tells him and Ben that these assholes cut off Mark’s legs and tried to feed them to the group. 

Now, here’s the thing... If Doug and Ben had done what they were told and stayed at the motor inn over night, things probably wouldn’t have turned out so good for the group. Doug is the one who shines the laser pointer in Andy’s eyes when he’s got ahold of Duck, giving Lee the advantage of attack. Without that, if Lee tried anything, he would’ve ended up like dingdong Kenny with a bullet in his side. 

Also there’s just a lot of bravery from Doug, y’know? Like as soon as he finds Lee and knows the situation, the first thing he asks is what can they do to help, and he sticks around to do what he can.... even if it is just to point a laser in someone’s eye. 

No one gives Doug enough credit for savin’ the day, y’know? And if you have any doubt, even Lee says, “I never thought a laser pointer would be the thing that saved our lives.”

3. Doug’s friendship with Lee

Speaking of Lee, his friendship with Doug is underrated. The two have chemistry and work off each other well in the scene’s they’re in. While it’s not as strong as Carley’s in ep1, saving Doug and having around in ep2 & ep3 lets you see it at it’s best, y’know? 

After Lee saves his life at the drugstore, Doug is shown to mourn Carley and asks Lee why he would pick him, lamenting that he wished he had picked her over him and you can tell that Doug feels that he owes Lee a lot for saving him. Hell, he even says as much when Lee tries to give him food in ep2-- “Why don't you keep my share today. I know I said it didn't matter why you saved me and not Carley, but... I owe you a lot more than half a day's rations."

Also, I love this one line from Kenny when you’re on bad terms with him and they’re talking about going separate ways where he’s basically like “We all know Doug’s gonna stay with you because you saved him that ONE time >:(” and on top of it being such a bitchy Kenny line, it also shows that every can see that Doug is a loyal friend to Lee and would want to stick with him where ever he decides to go. 

One thing that I think people tend to overlook, though, is how concerned Lee is with Doug’s mental health in ep3. There are implications that Doug might be suffering with depression due to the situation of the walkers, bandits harrassing and threatening them, and believing that he isn’t useful to the group, stating that he feel pretty worthless. Lee asks Clementine if he seems sad, and hell, he even talks to Lilly about it.

In fact, speaking of Clementine, Doug is real sweet with her, too. Of course, he gives her those batteries for her walkie, but he also asks about how she’s doing as they’re leaving the dairy. Hell, 8 years later, Clementine still remembers him by name and how sweet he was when fucking dingdong Lilly can’t remember his damn name. That says a lot. 

Y’all know how important Clementine is to Lee, so he wouldn’t have grown as close to Doug if he wasn’t a genuinely good person who treated Clementine with kindess. 

I dunno, there’s a lot of trust and care between the two and it’s a relationship that I truly love. I just wish we could’ve seen a bit more of it but y’know...#2 happened. 

2. Doug saved Ben’s life

Yeah, I think we all saw this coming...

Look, doesn’t matter what you think about Ben, okay? Not what we’re talkin’ about. We’re talkin’ about Doug saving Ben’s life, which unfortunately meant ending his own.

Still haven’t forgiven Lilly for this one. Though I’ve always found the difference between Doug and Carley’s death’s interesting. With Carley, Lilly intentionally kills her after Carley tells her off. But with Doug, Lilly was aiming for Ben and even when Doug pulled him out of the way, she still fired the gun... even though she didn’t have a clear shot and ended up hitting Doug. 

Then she tries to play it off like it was an accident which, yeah I guess it was but that doesn’t change that you were intending to murder this 6ft tall child. 

It’s just... I dunno, man, it’s sad. I always feel more sorrow for Doug’s death, but more anger for Carley’s? Even though both make me angry, it’s just different characters, different things that led to their deaths, different feelings. This is the first real “Fuck you, Lilly” moment for me and she can spend the next 8 years wandering around for all I can. 

Doug didn’t deserve this shit. 

But, the reason I put this at #2 because it really says a lot about Doug as a character. The second he saw Lilly aim that gun, he yanked Ben out of the way. He could’ve gone into shock, he could’ve just yelled “no!”, or he could’ve gone at Lilly instead.... but no, his first instinct was to grab Ben and move himself in front and it really fucking sucks that that’s what killed him. 

And y’know this isn’t the first time Doug has put himself in danger to save someone. I already talked about him saving everyone at the dairy, but can we not forget how he and Carley met? She was gonna get eaten by walkers then our big hero Doug came in and saved her?? Didn’t know her or anything, just saw her and her crew getting attacked and did what he could to save any survivors?? 

Like... no one talks about that because it’s so played off and never brought up again and I need everyone to remember this, okay? 

Doug selflessly putting himself in danger to help those around him? Fantastic. Beautiful. Love that.

1. Look, Doug himself is just #1. His personality, intelligence, everything.

Wow, Doug’s personality being the #1 reason he’s so great? Who woulda thought?

Well, ME woulda thought because obviously.

Listen... in case you haven’t gather this from the previous four entries, Doug is an intelligent, awkward, caring, selfless, funny, and brave man, okay? He’s likable, he tries his damnedest to pull his weight for the group, he shows actual loyalty and kindness unlike some people, and when he tends to avoid the constant Lilly and Kenny conflicts, he does his best to step in when things take a serious turn, hence the Ben situation. 

No to mention the dude is smart. 

I mean, he really took a random remote and was like, “Oh it’s universal, let me just program it to work on ALL the random TV’s across the street as a way to distract these walkers!” like dude.... you just know how to do that, huh? 

Or his fun little bell trap that alerts the groups of strangers and walkers? Oh, and remember when he fixed the RV by hitting it with a fucking hammer and was like “It works now, drive!” 

And have I mentioned that he bested Andy St John with a goddamn laser pointer?? 

Oh, also wanna add that I really like his voice acting, as well. He’s voiced by Sam Joan, who does a good job at selling Doug’s soft-spoken but intelligent nature, and knows how to pull off “dorky” when needed... and I mean that in a good way, when he’s talking about charcoal Doug is being a dork and I love him.

I mean... what else is there to say?

All that’s left to do is pull a Telltale and--

#SaveDoug

---

Honorable Mentions

-Doug is a pie guy, going off of that time he named all the different kinds of pie he could thing of and I feel that.  -He’s a very fashionable person. I want that weird polar bear deer thing shirt he wears in ep1.  -also, you can’t go wrong with socks and sandals, my dude.  -He had a crush on Carley and honestly, I feel that, too. 

---

There it is, there’s my whole thing about Doug. What are your thoughts? When it comes to that choice in ep1 of s1, do you save Doug or do you save Carley? Do you agree or disagree with any of my choices for this list? Or have anything to add? I’m always down to chat.

Have any suggestions for future T5F’s? Feel free to send ‘em in! :D

—

Next week’s T5F

[mushi-shield]

Tom MacDonald - "Fake Woke"

I think it's crazy I'm the one who they labeled as controversial And Cardi B is the role model for twelve year old girls There's rappers pushing Xanax at the top of the Billboard But if I mention race in a song I'm scared I'll get killed for it It's backwards, it's getting exponentially dumb It's more difficult to get a job than purchase a gun Eminem used to gay bash and murder his mom And now he doesn't want fans if they voted for Trump We're ashamed to be American, you should probably love it 'Cause you have the right to say it and not get strung up in public As children we were taught how to walk and talk But the system wants adults to sit down and shut up Cancel culture runs the world now, the planet went crazy Label everything we say as homophobic or racist If you're white then you're privileged, guilty by association All our childhood heroes got MeToo'd or they're rapists They never freed the slaves They realized that they don't need to change They gave us tiny screens, we think we free 'cause we can't see the cage They knew that race war would be the game they'd need to play For people to pick teams, they use the media to feed the flame They so fake woke, facts don't care about feelings They know they won't tell me what to believe in They so fake woke, same old, safe zones They so fake woke, facts don't care about your feelings I think it's crazy how these people screaming "facts" but they fake woke Hate their neighbor 'cause he wears a mask or he stays home Has a daughter but his favorite artist said he slays hoes Picks her up from school, music slaps on the way home Censorship's an issue 'cause they choose what they erase There's a difference between hate speech and speech that you hate I think Black Lives Matter was the stupidest name When the system's screwing everyone exactly the same I just wanna spend Thanksgiving Day with food and my family Without being accused of celebrating native casualties We got so divided as black and white and political Republicans are bigots, libtards if you're liberal There's riots in our streets and it's just getting worse Y'all screaming defund the police, y'all are genius for sure They're underfunded already, they're way too busy to work Order food and call the cops, see what reaches you first Segregation ended, that's a lie in itself That was a strategy to make us think that we're trying to help They knew that racism was hot if they designed it to sell We buy up every single box and divide us ourselves They so fake woke, facts don't care about feelings They know they won't tell me what to believe in They so fake woke, same old, safe zones They so fake woke, facts don't care about your feelings Use violence to get peace and wonder why it isn't working That's like sleeping with a football team to try and be a virgin Politicians are for sale and someone always makes the purchase But you and I cannot afford it, our democracy is worthless If a man has mental illness call him crazy, say it silently When countries going crazy we accept it as society Get sick and take a pill when the side effects get you high You get addicted like these rappers dying fighting with sobriety Censoring the facts turns our children into idiots They claim it's for our safety, I'll tell you what it really is Removing information that empowers all the citizens The truth doesn't damage points of view that are legitimate They're tryna amen to a-men-and-women How'd we let them make praying a microaggression? Instead of asking God for the strength to keep winning We cheat to get ahead and then we ask 'em for forgiveness Feminism used to be the most righteous of fights But these days it feels like they secretly hate guys I don't trust anyone who bleeds for a week and don't die I'm just kidding, but everything else that I said is right They so fake woke, facts don't care about feelings They know they won't tell me what to believe in They so fake woke, same old, safe zones They so fake woke, facts don't care about your feelings

[leahseclipse]

Live for me (Spencer Reid x Reader) 💔

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Summary: While working on a case, Spencer and y/n get kidnapped by the unsub. For everything to end: one has to die.

Warnings: ⚠️ THIS STORY DOES NOT HAVE A GOOD ENDING AT ALL, DON'T READ IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THIS KIND OF TOPIC; DON'T FORGET TO GET SUPPORT AFTER READING ⚠️; death of major characters, loss of a person, grief, medication use, overdose, suicide, cursing, angst, depression, sad stuff……...

A/N: I cried as much as you are right now. I wrote a bit of it around 1am. Had to watch the unauthorized documentary of Matthew to cheer me up, and you should totally do it. Either that, or criminal minds bloopers, fun cm videos like "bau being kids", etc

Word count: 2.1k

"Hey. You're finally awake."

As you woke up, you only felt cold. You could tell by the ambiance that you weren't inside a room, but outside.

You could hear the faint sounds of cars, guessing that you could be at a high level.

"Come on, we have a game to start. You don't want to make us wait, do you?"

Us?

You looked around, realizing what he meant by 'us'.

It was him...and Spencer.

His eyes were wide open, locked in yours.

"Why are you doing that?"

"Because it's fun. Don't you like to have fun? Everyone does! That's why I gathered two lovebirds here. It'll double the fun! I'm smart, I know."

"You're nothing but an asshole. You're stupid as hell!" You yelled.

"No. I'm not."

"Your face tells me the fucking contrary!"

"Shut up. SHUT UP. YOU'RE MAKING ME WASTE TIME."

"I DON'T FUCKING CARE." You barely had time to place another word that he had punched you in the face, blood dripping out of your nose.

"Stop! Don't touch her!" Spencer yelled.

"She deserved it. She was being an annoying bitch. And I hate people like her."

"I...I'm not done." You muttered.

"Huh? What did you say?"

"I said I'm not done!"

"Done with what ? Me? Oh yeah, you're not. But soon, you'll be."

"Not until you're dead." You said.

"Unfortunately, I won't be the one who will die tonight. It'll be...one of you. One will live, one will die. Only one winner will come out of here alive, not two."

"We'll see that."

"No we won't. Not if you're dead."

"Dare touching her." Spencer said.

"Aw, your husband is so loyal. I'm gonna cry."

"You're gonna cry even more when you'll get to spend the rest of your life in prison; if someone doesn't kill you before."

"I am unstoppable honey. I'm as fast as the speed of the light. Here's the proof, I have been killing for ten years, no one found me. The only thing police had done was to send people that knew of the murders, had witnessed them, but didn't commit it. They all were sort of proud, not knowing that the real killer was still on the loose."

"The team will come. You're trapped. This is where everything ends for you."

"Nuh-uh. For you, not for me. I'm a free man, you're a soon to be dead girl, and you, a soon to be dead man."

"What a fool you're making out of yourself. You're a fucking coward, you're stupid as hell, worthless, you're so full of shit! Just shut the hell—" You spat out, as he raised his gun to your head.

"Now what, huh?"

"Now what? You want me to repeat myself?"

"Dare to do it."

"You're weak."

"Don't get me started."

"Just fucking surrender at this point, your pathetic life is ruined, you have nothing—" You couldn't even finish your sentence. You never got to.

He had shot you in front of the terrified eyes of Spencer.

You were now laying on the floor, a pool of blood growing bigger next to your head. A stray tear had fallen from your eye, the last tear you had shed.

Spencer's screams echoed, as a loud sound came from the door that had soon been opened.

The whole team was shocked at the sight of the scene. You, on the floor, possibly dead, and Spencer's eyes on you.

The guy had attempted to point his gun at Spencer to kill him as well, but then three shots were heard. Next thing everyone saw, he fell on the floor.

The last memories were a blur. Spencer only remembered the sobs of the team, arms wrapping around him, nothingness, he suddenly felt empty.

You were gone.

No.

That wasn't real.

It couldn't.

You couldn't be dead.

It wasn't possible.

It…wasn't.

--------

A week has passed since your death. He had stayed in his apartment, wrapped in a blanket. Only breathing. He wasn't doing anything and hasn't been going out since your funeral.

Part of him didn't want to come. He didn't want that to happen. But at the same time, he would have regretted it forever if he hadn't come.

He had found himself in your room, at 7AM, looking at the stuff in the drawers, until a pack of envelopes caught his attention.

He took it in his hands, before a sob escaped his lips. He had immediately recognised your handwriting.

The first letter was addressed to him.

'Spence' was written on the back.

He opened it with shaky hands, reading the two first words.

Dear Spencer,

I know it's morbid to write this kind of letter, because I'm not dying soon, or dead; but, I wanted to write this for you and the other members, in case something happens to me. 

I wouldn't want to leave everyone behind without them knowing how much I loved them, you would have the right to know.

The letter for the other members of the team are also in the drawer you found yours, so please don't forget to give the letter.

If you are reading this, something happened, it means that I'm not alive anymore.

This letter is for you, the love of my life, my best friend, my colleague, my husband, first of all, I love you, I always have, and will always love you.

I want to thank you for being part of my life. 

You saved my life.

A week before I met you, I planned to commit suicide. I had no family, no friends, no one to count on anymore.

Everyone had left me behind. 

I don't have an eidetic memory, so I don't remember the exact hour, only the day, but I'm sure you do remember.

It was on a Sunday, 14….or 15th of June. The day I met you, was the day I planned to die. I was at the coffee shop, probably drinking the last coffee of my life. 

I wasn't dressed at all in a pretty way. I think I had a hoodie and old jeans. I had picked up my order and decided to sit at a table to try to enjoy the view as I wouldn't see it anymore.

I didn't put sugar at all in my coffee. I hated black coffee, but I didn't care anymore. Even if the coffee would spill on my clothes, I wouldn't care. 

Nothing mattered anymore. 

And, that's when you saved my life. 

The fact that the sugar was still next to the cup, unopened, apparently caught your attention.

I wish I was dressed better. I looked pathetic and horrible.

But you only saw what I didn't see anymore in me. You thought I was pretty, amazing.

I don't know how and why, we began talking, which ended with me, writing my number on your arm before leaving the shop.

That's when I decided I didn't want to die anymore, I wanted to live for you. Only you.

I can't thank you enough. You saved me. I could have died that day, and we would have never met. I would have never dated you, married you, and lived happily with you.

You made all of this possible.

Spencer, don't change. Stay the person you are. Not only you are the sun of my life, but you're the sun of everyone in the team.

Thank you for being with me.

And please, if anything happens, if I'm gone; live for me.

I love you.

Your wife, y/n.

He couldn't see you anymore.

By the time Spencer had finished reading your letter, tears were falling down his cheeks; he still couldn't believe the fact that you were gone.

He couldn't kiss you anymore.

He couldn't touch you anymore.

What would he wake up to each day? Only to an empty bed.

The only memory of you he'll have will be the pictures and the smell on your clothes. But eventually, the smell would go away, and the pictures would only remain frozen memories forever.

He would have to live without you, breathe without you, only prepare one cup of coffee instead of two, cook for only one person, leave the house without having someone to say goodbye to, come back without having someone to say hello to; his entire life was ruined.

You were his entire life, the reason he was living, breathing.

And now that you weren't here anymore, what was he supposed to do?

His life was senseless, useless without you. He couldn't live, enjoy life, while you were six feet under ground,

Dead.

It wasn't fair. 

None of it was fair.

He should have died that night.

It shouldn't have been you.

He collapsed into the bed, laying down on your pillow. It still smelled like you, he had desperately tried to pretend like you were still here, but you weren't, he couldn't hear your soft breathing, feel the air on his skin, your skin in contact with his, you weren't here, you wouldn't come back.

He had wished for it to be a bad dream, he had wished for it to only be a dream, and that you would be by his side again.

But it never happened.

He had to face the reality.

You were gone forever.

He had cried himself to sleep, holding your letter and one of your coats in his hands. 

Tomorrow, he'd wake up to an empty bed. 

Alone.

You would not be in the bed.

He would only wake up to the sound of the stupid alarm, not your voice.

He wouldn't feel your hands on his face, in his hair, on his body.

*

He hadn't slept at all.

He couldn't.

You were the only solution for him to sleep. No matter what was on his mind, no matter how stressed he was, when he'd feel you by his side, he would immediately calm down.

But now, he had nothing.

The apartment was empty.

Calm.

Soundless.

Lifeless.

For him, it wasn't his home anymore, only walls and flooring. 

He'd have to live there, every single item in the house reminding him of you. Every moment, every look, every breath, would remind him of you.

Everyone had tried to talk to him, and sat with him for hours. But he had only stared at the wall, with an empty look.

Technically, he was still alive, still breathing, but he was dead inside. No one recognized him anymore.

It had been a month since your death, it felt like five to him.

Every single second, minute, hour, day without you was unbearable.

If he had to live it was with you, and only you.

If you weren't there, he couldn't live.

He had no reason to.

The cold floor he was laying on had just reminded him that he was still alive. 

He felt so tired.

He didn't have the strength anymore.

He didn't want to fight anymore.

Not in a world where you didn't exist.

Not without you by his side.

Life had no meaning anymore.

The colors had been drained from the world from the moment life had left your body.

He hadn't felt this kind of peace for months. 

He closed his eyes, and a few minutes later,

He saw you.

You had a yellow dress on, his favorite. He called your name, and saw your beautiful eyes once again.

A sad smile was on your face, as he saw you walking towards him.

"Spencer, why are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry y/n. I'm so sorry. I tried. I couldn't live without you, it was impossible."

"Shh, shh...it's okay. You tried babe, you tried. Now you're here. That's all that matters."

"But y/n, I broke the promise. I couldn't live for you, I didn't do it." 

"Spencer, it's okay. Everything will go away, everything; because I'm here now, we're together. We're not away from each other anymore. I promise everything is going to be okay."

"...promise?"

"Promise." You took his hand, smiling at him. 

You turned out to be right, everything went away.

He could finally allow himself to be relieved.

Now, he could be by your side forever.

--

Dear y/n, 

So sorry.

I wrote this letter after you died. I had to tell you everything.

I'm sorry. 

I can't do it anymore, I love you too much to the point I can't live without you anymore.

I want you to know that I'm grateful for all of the moments we've spent together.

Thank you for being my girlfriend.

Thank you for marrying me.

I'm sorry we didn't live long enough to have children. I wish we could have.

I know we would have named them after the team. Garcia would have been their godmother.

You wanted to have two, I wanted three, or five, like Matt. 

I wanted to have mini versions of us running in the house. But it never happened, I'm sorry.

Thank you for all of these years you've spent with me.

I have never hated to be with you one single day. I always appreciated every day by your side.

You are so beautiful, don't forget that.

I could never thank you enough.

Spence.

I love you y/n.

--------

Left letters;

To the BAU, my family;

When I wrote this, I was still alive; but if you're reading it now, I'm not alive anymore. Something might have happened.

I want everyone to know what was on my mind.

Thank you for being an amazing team.

Derek, you were the brother I never had. You always stood by my side, and you can't imagine how grateful I am. I wish you the best, Savannah and Hank are lucky to have you by their side.

Hotch, you were like 'a step father', you protected me, listened to me, I could talk freely with you. Jack is an awesome little guy, I liked babysitting him.

Rossi, you also were like a father to me. You taught me how to cook, how to be better person, I owe you everything. I also want to thank you for marrying us at our wedding.

Emily, you are everything; a mother, sister, friend, I still remember all of the nights we've spent at the bar, on the couch eating ice cream, exchanging secrets, like little girls. I always had admired you.

Matthew, Luke, you guys have also the same role to me, you were the brothers I wished for, teasing me, pulling pranks on me, cheering me up, taking care of me, worrying just when I fell off my chair or when I had a paper cut.

JJ, you are amazing. You have made two wonderful children I loved to be around, they look exactly like you (No offense Will). You also were like Emily, my whole family.

It's the same for Tara, you had always listened to me. You are a strong and amazing woman.

I'm sorry if I repeated myself, but that is mostly because you guys are all my family, I feel the exact same way about everyone.

I am sorry for everything.

Garcia;

I'm sorry I couldn't live long enough to have children. You would have been their godmother, all of them.

You would have babysat them, even when I would have been free, you would have loved them so much.

You truly are the sun.

Thank you, everyone, for being yourself. You have brought me so much joy.

Whatever happens, don't change guys. Keep enlightening other people's lives like you always did.

I love you guys.

To the team;

y/n.

--

I'm sorry. Every time you guys were there, you had tried your best to cheer me up; and you did, but the pain had covered everything. The pain was stronger.

The pain won over everything.

I fought.

I tried.

But y/n was my whole life, and without her, I was nothing.

I missed her, so much. So much.

I'm so sorry.

Thank you for being a wonderful team.

Spencer.

[octalove]

VIII: Struck by Lightning

(Batgirl/Red Hood)

Description: Reader makes a confession, and goes on a date. Previous.

TW: Brief mention of gore (just blood)

In the weeks succeeding the Little Italy mission, I found a rhythm in the two conflicting heartbeats of my life. Occasionally, I met with Jason to file down the multitude of criminals who opposed him (it wasn’t all rescuing orphans and kittens, but his justice was fair and swift), and other than that, I carried on with life as normal; both as myself, and Batgirl. It was an inconsistent, exciting balancing act.

I tried to humor Bruce’s transparent attempts to placate me with cold cases, deeming it study. My school work had unsurprisingly lost its appeal, and I found myself rocking in the river banks of what was sure to be a failing grade in most of my classes- though I had yet to run ashore. Yet.

I danced along, despite my reprisal (a lack of sleep, and white lies on either side), and overall there was a certain stalemate. With that, peace. Or at least, the closest I could get.

On a Saturday I happened to have free (to my great relief), I woke up at one in the afternoon, to a blessedly dim day that kept the light in my room dark enough to cradle my lie-in.

I washed the sleep from my face, and stumbled downstairs, muscles sore from a Thursday night mission with Jason at the Port (of which I told my family I was going to a party). Tim was the only one in the kitchen- looking like he, too, had just crawled out of bed. He was eating cereal in silence.

We hadn’t been avoiding each other, per say- just got wrapped up in our own routines. Routines that kept me out of the house, and him trapped within it.

“Morning.” I said.

“Mm.” He replied.

I poured out my own bowl of cereal and settled on top of the glossy white granite. It was kind of a running joke at the Wayne household that you could sit anywhere but the chairs. Even Damian picked up on it- and, naturally, he was the best at it- perching his lithe little form atop the fridge at one point.

Now, Tim and I sat side by side on the countertop, shoulders brushing and spoons clanging against our glass bowls. Nothing more was said, but it was a comfortable silence.

I thought, for a second, about the world he’d been living in for the past few months as November bled into December. About his work and his many, many jobs he had to do. The way he shouldered them all week-to-week. He didn’t have to, but he did.

Tim made me a better person. I thought so, anyway.

But then, before I met him, I was the kind of person who let Carolyn Crawford slap me across the face to cover for someone else’s secret. Now, I was the kind who let other people take the blame for mine. Maybe Tim didn’t make me a better person. Only I could do that.

*

“I need to talk to you.” I said it firmly, and with authority. Mostly to convince myself that I was certain in my intention to go through with it. Bruce eyed me, looking up from his book.

“Alright.”

“...”

“...”

“In private.”

Alfred and Damian’s voices carried through to the living room as they had tea (an evening tradition). Bruce nodded, closed his book, and led me upstairs.

His office was a quiet, peaceful place. Finished dark wood, glass tables, and black leather accents. It was the room in the house that was most furnished to his own private taste, and thus, a glimpse inside was into him. It was mostly predictable; W.E. briefcases, notebooks and pens, case files open, and a map of the city that was displayed behind his desk. But there were other things too; a rubik’s cube half solved on the settee, a magazine featuring Vicki Vale with a pen in her hand and a defiant, head-strong look on her face. A gorgeous trailing point knife that belonged to Damian (probably confiscated).

I sat down in the chair that faced his own; his giant, glossy desk between us. I wanted to be swallowed into the dark leather. I felt like I was back at the shrink.

“Tim didn’t sneak off on the 21st.” I said quickly, cutting off the silence as quickly as I could. “He’s not the one who saw Red Hood kill that guy. It was me. I made Tim promise not to tell. He lied to cover for me.”

Bruce was quiet. He did that a lot; made you wait for him to speak. Seconds, minutes, hours. It all felt the same when he let you simmer in your own mistakes. I didn’t look up.

“I see.”

Silence. A long, testing silence. His irritating little desk clock ticked away.

“Is that all you wanted to tell me?” He asked.

I nodded.

“Very well. You’re dismissed.”

“Really?” I asked. “That’s it? You’re not mad?”

He paused. “Should I be?”

I blinked, gaze falling on the floor. “I put Tim in a really shitty position. He didn’t have to lie, but he did because I asked him to. I’m mad at me.” I admitted quietly.

Bruce nodded pedantically, resting his head on his hand. “Then that’s good enough for me.”

I furrowed my brow. It wasn’t good enough for me. “It was wrong.” I clarified, trying to press for some manner of reprimand that I didn’t truly want, but felt deserving of anyway. Bruce considered this, in his quiet, inscrutable way. After a moment, he spoke.

“Your mothers trusted me.” He said. I knew that. My parents were business-oriented like that. They were pulled together by happenstance, each without family and carving their own way in the world by studying international law, and applying it to companies who could afford private foreign trade, such as Wayne Enterprises. I attended the parties, the galas, standing around in my designer gowns while my moms handed out their business cards and talked about imports. They weren’t neglectful, just distracted.

“I don’t know if you remember-“

“I do.”

And if I had a dollar for every time the cops or the shrink asked me if I remembered that night, I’d buy my own manor.

Bruce Wayne was at my birth. He and my mothers had been business partners for a while by that time. He watched me, dutifully, when my parents went on date nights, and played catch with me when I accompanied him and Dick to the park. He cooked me breakfast the morning after my mothers died.

I knew it wasn’t a random killing, but he didn’t talk about why they were murdered in their own bed until I was fifteen. By then, I was knowledgeable enough to go searching through the police reports on my own. So instead, one night he’d sat me down at the kitchen table, looking at me earnestly.

“You have to understand, Y/N. Your mothers were...” He’d taken a deep breath. Tried again. “They were involved in things. Things I didn’t know about. It made them a lot of enemies.” Then, something harder passed his features. A frustration.

“They were completely blind to the fact that it meant you would never have a normal life. Not as long as they kept it up- that... double life.” I let the statement hang in the air for a time. “That was stolen from you, from the moment they got involved with the Baciu. And I’m sorry.”

It was easy to be sorry. I was sorry, too. My mothers got themselves tangled in Gotham’s heroin trade, and they weren’t careful enough, so they died for it. It was fairly cut and dry. Open file, close case. But the part that was so bitter to swallow was that it happened to me. A fourteen-year-old child creeping into my mothers’ bed because I’d heard a noise, and the re-runs of Ghost Hunter I’d religiously consumed were conjuring movement in the shadows. But there were no ghosts. Just sheets stained with blood that looked black in the darkness. Just the wet, clogged sort of sound when I peeled back the covers, unable to register they way my mothers were bent, and stilled in a way that only death can induce, where just earlier that night they’d been walking and talking. Bringing me Chinese take-out for dinner.

Their death, and everything that followed was emptying. Cracking open a great chasm and bringing death home, into the halls, and into my room. No longer a rumor. It was an empty chair, and a storied space made cold and worthless. It would’ve been easier if they had simply died as a random killing. Tragic, standard, random Gotham City killing. If I had just been that unlucky. If they’d only been struck by lightning. Instead, I grieved twice; once for who they were, and another time, for who I thought they were.

When Bruce adopted me, I became Batgirl. I made it my own vendetta to stop criminals without killing them, because I knew that some- most of them had children at home who would be the real victims if I did.

But then, I thought deeper. More considerately, about who my mothers were. Moreover, who they weren’t. Pearl and gold, white teeth and hairspray. Singing to me, and playing Monopoly, at which they were both so competitive that they had to kiss and make up after every game. Bringing me a strawberry cupcake in bed every year on my birthday. Kissing me on the head. Telling me to be good. Leaving me in that big house. Going off to Port Adams, or Crime Alley. Signing orders. Putting bodies in Finger River.

Nobody’s innocent here, dollface.

“They trusted me.” Bruce’s voice interrupted my reminiscing with the ghosts of my past. “I know their death was hard, and you may still be recovering. I’m trying to do the best I can for you.” He finished. For all the gnashing teeth and avaricious expanses of Gotham City secrets, he looked tired.

“I know, Bruce.” I said quietly. “Me too.”

*

The following Tuesday, I got home from school and started on a mountain of homework I needed to do- some make up work as well. Christmas break was around the corner, and I was slowly losing motivation as the semester drew to a close. I had too many distractions; and tonight was no exception.

Ding.

My phone buzzed, and I looked down, eyebrows raising to find that it was a text from Jason- one that wasn’t just a pin dropped to a location.

Meet me at Twin Sharks. I’ll buy you a coffee.

- What’s the occasion?

No reply. I sighed. I should’ve called him and made him tell me, but I knew that I would go no matter what, so I decided to play the apathy card. Despite my cool response, my heart (the traitor) was fluttering like a bird. Was this about the kiss? Our partnership? Was it an actual, regular date? Or was he breaking it off? My mind raced, and as I pulled together a tasteful outfit and sprayed myself with perfume, I promised myself that it wasn’t for him.

The Twin Sharks was a diner in Upper West Side, near China town. It was nicer than the likes of Sherman’s, or anything else East End had to offer. The late afternoon was unexpectedly bright, clouds parted for a sweet reprieve of gold and blush in the sky. The sun was a striking blood-orange, hung low over the city. It struck a match in my chest- some childish, poetic hopefulness.

The diner’s door jingled, and I scanned the booths and tables. It was a little crowded, but I spotted Jason alone in a booth, his eyes cast down, involved with his phone. I made my way over to him, slipping off my coat and plopping down his opposite.

“Hey.” I said. His eyes fell upon me, and I saw something on his face- maybe surprise, or something to that effect- before he composed his expression into something unreadable.

“Hey.”

The diner had a big, hot pink neon sign that depicted a matching pair of sharks above the counter. Its buzzing glow mixed with the orange gleam of the lowering sun through the windows- it was all very rose-colored.

The waitress put a coffee in front of me, and I got to work on adorning it with the little cream and sugar packets on the table. He watched me do it for while.

“What?” I asked, narrowing my eyes.

“Nothin’.” He said. Then, he reached across the table, and took my hand, pulling it back to him, and pressed a soft kiss to my knuckles. I was so startled by it that I dropped the sugar packet I was holding. Neither of us seemed to notice. He turned my hand over and placed another kiss in the inside of my wrist before returning it safely to my side of the table. I was certain my face burned like the neon sharks.

“I’m- um- is this a date?” I asked, trying to get him to say something- anything- to get my mind off the way he’d just reduced me to a puddle.

He looked amused by that. “You want it to be?”

“I don’t know.” I shrugged, stirring my coffee. “You invited me.”

He nodded, eyes falling away. “Yeah. I’ve got an update for you. D’amici business.”

“Oh.” By the look on his face, it wasn’t good news.

“You’re not gonna like it.”

“Perfect. My day’s been a little too good so far.” I said. He slid me his phone- on the screen was an article from the Gotham Quarterly.

Young Bride Found Murdered in Diamond District Estate

I read over it a couple times, brow furrowing. “You mean...“

“Penelope. It happened last night.”

“Shit.” I muttered, scrolling down and scanning through the article. My throat caught as I read over it. She was shot in her bed. “It says there’s no suspects.”

“Course it does. It’s the mafia. They handle things nice and quiet.”

“And I’m guessing you have a few a suspects.” He nodded grimly as I slid his phone back to him.

“One better. I know exactly who did it. I think you do, too.”

I put my head in my hands, mulling over my options. Really there was only one. Penelope’s beautiful, flustered face and apologetic eyes flashed through my mind. Her wind-chime laugh as we ate scones under the watchful eye of her adoring, peculiar grandmother.

“Okay.” I resolved. “Let’s get that girl justice.”

[whatsup-200]

The Marauders and the Slytherin Chapter 8

Remus lupin x reader

TW: mentions of suicide/death

Chapter 8: The Letter

STORY MASTER LIST

(Yn pov)

 

I know what to do. I know the only one I would be leaving behind, the only one that actually liked me is Lily. But I am making it easier for everyone. James will finally be with Lily. Remus will move on and find love. Sirius and Peter will be pleased. So it’s the only way. I will have to leave Hogwarts forever. I will write a letter to Lily explaining where I am. So then she can visit me. I mean it is me last year anyway.

Then my door opened.

*At dinner time*

(Lily pov)

I have not seen y/n once today which is really weird. I asked Severus if he knew but he said the last time he has seen her was at breakfast. I guess I could talk to a few others even though I don’t think they would really care.

I walked up to the Gryffindor table where all James, Remus, Sirius and Peter was.

Lily – Hey guys! Do you have a minute?

James – Whats up Lily? Still hanging around that pathetic excuse of a person.

Lily – She is not pathetic and no. I was wanting to ask you if you knew where she was.

Sirius – Why would we know. We don’t follow her around like a loss puppy.

Lily – Listen I am really concerned with the missing student list so please just help me out.

James – fine bit you owe us. Ok?

Lily- Fine just come.

Sirius – alright let’s go!

It’s been two hours and we have been searching the castle non stop. Not that the others have been searching. The last place we have to go is the forbidden forest and that is were we will be.

As we’re in the forbidden forest. Sirius and James kept telling me to go back to the Castle.

James – Come on Lily! She is clearly not out here.

Sirius – Yeah let’s go back inside!

Lily – NO! I will not rest till I find her.

Do we kept looking.

Remus – Wait what is that?

Remus was pointing toward something. We step closer to see.

Lily – that’s not something Remus that’s y/n. Y/N! Are you okay?

I try to shake her awake to find out that she is not breaking.

Lily – she is dead.

I hear the others gasping behind me.

Lily – come on we need to tell Dumbledore.

We raced to go tell Dumbledore and he looked at the body.

Dumbledore – we are sorry to tell you that y/n has committed, we found in her pocket that she has left a letter for each of you and a memory vile. Please take these to a private room when reading and watching her memories. With that I was crying non stop and we all went up to my dorm.

 

(Dumbledore’s pov)

*In his office*

Minnie- Why didn’t you tell the truth!

Dumbledore- it is easier to say she committed then having the school on lockdown for her murder.

Minnie – but we have a killer on the loose.

Dumbledore- And we will find them and get justice for y/n death but until then we must remain patient.

Minnie – I think her murder was planned!

Dumbledore- I think it was as well. The person who killed her also wanted it to seem like she committed so they can get away with it. My biggest fear is that it may be someone in Hogwarts right now. Maybe even a student. But only time will tell. Remember she may be gone but never forgotten. Y/n was a true Slytherin, she showed Leadership,  Cleverness, determination, Resourceful, and more that made her just right for her house. And today she has proven to the other students that being in Slytherin dies not make you the bad guy.

 

(Lily pov)

We are in my dorm getting ready to read the letter she wrote. We are all going to take turn reading the out loud then we are going to watch her memories.

Lily – So who will start?

They all stayed quiet.

Lily – Nobody? Fine then I will go.

“Dear Lily,

I wish to tell you that I am sorry. I am sorry for not trying to live in a world that has done nothing but hate me. You Lily were my only friend, my only family. I will miss you dearly. I know that you may not like James right now but he is a good man. I can’t blame him for not trusting me based on my house. I will miss you so much and don’t worry this is not the end. I will see you soon.

Love Y/n.”

Lily- That’s mine whose next.

Sirius – I guess I can go.

“Dear Sirius,

I understand your past with your family and how difficult it is I never had a great childhood either with will be explained in my memory. I want you to know that I always saw you as a brother even though you hated me and torched me for years. I still care for you.. I wish you the best in life. Remember Life is only seen on how you choose to live it!

Love, Y/n.”

Sirius – that’s the end of mine.

I noticed that Sirius looked like he was going to tear up.

Remus – I will go,

“Dear Remus,

I want you to know that I will always love you. Even after you have yelled at me or hurt me. I was the one who took you to that cabin. It was my family’s get away cabin when I was young which will also be included in my memories. I have the key and the step by step direction for the chocolate you always liked. I want you to know that the cabin is yours to go to after full moons. And one last thing you should never be afraid of people judging you for being a werewolf. You are perfect as you are.

Love, Y/n”

Remus – It also has the key and directions. I need to go I will be back.

He ran out of my dorm with his head down.

Lily – Whose next?

 

(Remus pov)

I can’t believe it. Y/n is gone and it’s ally fault.

Tears are spilling from my eyes as I can’t control my anger.

I miss her and I don’t know what to do. I said awful things to her when she has done nothing but help me.

After a good 15 minutes I go back in Lily’s room.

Remus – Has everyone gone there turn?

Lily- yeah! And while you were out there a few boys confessed anything you should tell Remus before we watch y/n memories? Boys?

I was so confused what did she mean?

Peter – Y/n was never mean to us!

Sirius – We bullied her and made her feel worthless.

James – I am the one who told her that it would be better if she died.

Remus – YOU WHAT! ALL THIS TIME I HAVE BEEN ANGRY WITH HER AND BELIEVING YOU WHEN SHE WAS THE REAL VICTIM. WHY IN THE HELL WOULD YPU DO THAT. YOU GUYS KNEW THAT I WAS INLOVE WITH HET BUT YOU HURT HER. AND THEN BLAMED HET BECAUSE YOU GUYS DID NOT LOKE HER?

I was furious to know that they did this.

Sirius – we are so sor-

Remus – Sorry is not going to bring her back. Let’s jus watch her memories.

I said as I snapped at them. We followed the directions to be able to see her memories.

It started when she was little and she met me. Told me I was monster to when she got home she was abused by her father. She was only eight . Then to when she met the others. As we watched her memories we noticed she always looked happy but was really not. We did not know her father hurt her constantly. Not only did he abuse her but her mom was il. At the age of thirteenth her and her mom found the cabin. The same cabin she brought me to. Later her dad was thrown on jail . And one day when she got home to the cabin she saw her mom die in front of her. Her mother’s last words was “Goodbye is not forever" then it showed all the Pain James and Sirius and Peter caused her they bullied her. Then it showed the moment that the others made me believe them and I snapped at her. Then all the times Lily has cheered her up. Lily was there when no one else was!

Now the memories has ended. It was awful we all were crying at this point. We miss her. And her death was my fault.

I miss her!

 

 

(Unknown pov)

And that is why you should never bully someone. They may just take their life from it. Me and your mother got together two years later to fulfill her wish. And there is not a day when we all don’t think about her. Remus couldn’t move on from her, and it hurts to seem h in pain. When you see this letter you will be old enough to understand. Don’t judge someone based on their house before you are put into their shoes for a day.

We love you Harry!

Love Dad!

(Harry pov)

Hermione- wow that is something for you

Harry- yeah we should ask Sirius and professor Lupin about this. Maybe they can tell us more about Y/n.

So we head down to the meeting.

 

Authors Note: This is not the end of us don’t worry keep reading to find out more!

[warsofasoiaf]

Sure, the internal politics was a bit flat, but I thought you punched it up enough to make it work. But realistically, Collins would be much more politically powerful after repelling two invasions? The Protestant Ulsterites are given fair consideration. Just seems like the game mechanics got in the way, but you wove it into the story well. Also, Rose of Sharon Cassidy reminder!

Rose of Sharon Cassidy is a great companion. At first glance, she’s a callback to one of the more popular Fallout companions, John Cassidy. Both have big hearts (neither can be recruited if the player has low Karma) and a heart condition. Both are small business owners. Both have a knack for shotguns (Cass gets the Shotgun Surgeon perk and I usually end up giving her Dinner Bell) and acquit themselves well in firefights. Both are experienced. Both can have quite colorful and inventive pieces of profanity. However, Rose of Sharon Cassidy is a great character in her own right, she is not merely another character’s shadow.

Cassidy is one of two Western-themed companion characters in the game, the other being Raul. While the second act of Fallout: New Vegas is about Vegas and the power struggle within it, the first act of the game borrows a lot of Western themes and motifs, from the little town shootout ala Rio Bravo to finding a sheriff for Primm to the man rising from certain death to pursue their killer like a non-supernatural High Plains Drifter. Cassidy is a caravanner and muleskinner (or brahminskinner because it’s Fallout), a classic Western archetype, and she fits the description: rugged, colorful, and individualistic. She’s tough and violent to contend with a tough, violent Wasteland, with a love of whiskey to match any Clint Eastwood character.

Speaking of Clint Eastwood, Rose of Sharon Cassidy is firmly in the revisionist Western camp of Western characters. Classic Westerns often didn’t have many roles for women outside of love interests to damsel, doting wives, or wicked saloon girls, which in the era of the Hays Code was a codeword for prostitute, but in the 1960′s roles began to expand for women in Westerns as the Western genre itself began to revise itself. Revisionist Westerns, for those not in the know, often took the classic Western genre to task, the depth and scope of which would be too lengthy an aside for this essay. Suffice it to say, when Cassidy joins up, she makes it plain that she isn’t looking to be just a tag-along, she’s being joined because of her skills. Cass is not a worthless hanger-on, a character devoid of depth to simply enrich the Courier’s tale. She’s a Revisionist Western character, and she has her own story.

Rose of Sharon Cassidy is a moral person even though she has Neutral Karma herself. She does not like a Courier that commits hostile acts and will call the Courier out if their Karma begins to drop. You get two strikes with Cass, and dropping to Evil Karma means you’re out, she will up and leave. If you do not start something, she will head back West, giving up on a future for herself in the Mojave. Or contrarily, if the Courier is a shitbox as well as evil, she’ll shoot. There are things that she won’t tolerate and it’s based on Karma, not faction reputation like the other companion characters. Again, Cass has her own story, she will not content herself being a tag-along. This isn’t perfect, of course, open-world games being what they are, you can take your time accomplishing her quest, but mechanics and story are always, in some ways, at odds. A pressing deadline means lost content, which can be perfectly fine for some games, but other times, not so much.

Cassidy, however, is at her lowest point when she meets the Courier, drinking away the days at the Mojave Outpost bar after her caravan company had been roasted to ashes in an apparent raider attack. Unable to leave due to Ranger Jackson forbidding caravan travel due to giant ant attacks, Cassidy is content to spin her wheels and drown her sorrows, and will not move for any reason, not even the most silver-tongued Courier. Instead, she recommends you to one of her competitors, Alice McLafferty of the Crimson Caravan, the largest caravan company in New California, and an ironic recommendation given what will come later in Cass’s own quest.

Continuing with McLafferty’s quest line, however, gives you Cass’s companion quest Heartache By the Number, which is also a song on the New Vegas soundtrack - a mournful Guy Mitchell country song about a man who constantly has his heart broken by a lover who leaves him, comes back, leaves him again, and says that they’re coming back but never do. The song’s protagonist, despite the pain, cannot bear to end it and leave, because even though it hurts, the day he stops counting his heartaches is the day the world ends. Despite the pain, the singer can’t give his lover up, and we see that Cass, despite her caravan having been lost, can’t bear to give it up and sell it to Alice. Anyone who has ever owned a business can tell you, there’s a piece of themselves in their work, and it can be hard to give it up even if the offer is tempting (this isn’t universal sentiment, of course, plenty of business owners do wish to sell at a good price). Cassidy Caravans isn’t just a caravan company, it’s a piece of Cass. She even asks flat-out “if someone asked to give you 1,000 caps for your name, would you?” Even if all she had was nothing, nothing was still worth something because it was still hers. 

The quest to buy the caravan is one of the little things in the game that truly show Obsidian’s love for the craft and their use of dialogue for fun. You can pay extra out of your own pockets to recruit Cass, standard fare for an RPG because you don’t want to miss out on content just because you don’t have the right skill and money is usually an acceptable fix in gaming, but the other options are excellent. The two speech checks, the first to point out that she doesn’t want to be trapped here forever, and the second that points out that if she was responsible for Cassidy Caravans, the destruction of it is on her too. Both get you the same results, but require different speech levels in order to get out. Neither one provides any mechanical difference to Cass, but the accusatory stance naturally would engender hostility, and so it should be a harder speech check. The game uses the mechanics to reinforce the action in a way that the game’s limitation on programming cannot easily match. This isn’t as elegant, perhaps, as the speech check with Ulysses at the end of Lonesome Road litters the conversation tree with false answers that will catch someone who wasn’t paying attention and just clicking through the tree, but it gets the point across with much less conversational depth (and accordingly, less programming and voice acting work). The best option, however, is the drinking contest, where you pay 12 bottles of whiskey to attempt to drink Cass under the table. The actual choices all end in the same successful quest resolutions, but the paths that they take vary considerably and hilariously, from Cass smoking you and you falling off your stool (in dialogue options only, the engine wouldn’t render that), you becoming equally drunk and saying stupid drunk things like “I love you and your little hat,” to you simply obliterating Cass with your gigantic 10 Endurance, asking if you felt *what* exactly as you polish off six bottles of whiskey like they were water. There’s absolutely no point in creating that many dialogue choices other than the pure love of doing it, of putting it in there, of enjoying the craft of the RPG. It’s these little things that make me love Obsidian as a developer, and it’s something more game developers should do, to place more love into their programming and presentation.

After joining up with you, Cass still isn’t ready to simply forget her caravan, and asks if you can stop by site where it was hit. She wonders whether there’s any indication of what hit her caravan, but even if you’ve been there and seen the devastation, she asks to go anyway, to pay her respects if nothing else. Part of this is simple signposting, you need to get to the caravan so you can hit the next checkpoint of the quest to continue, but it still speaks to Cass’s character that she says that she wants to go there and does not simply take the Courier’s word and be done with it. The scene is every bit as bad as she thought, her caravan was hit by someone carrying energy weapons and looking not to rob the caravan but to destroy it completely and utterly, which is baffling. Hitting a caravan is typically supposed to be about stealing the goods and getting rich, not simply bloodsport. It’s confusing, but it’s also Fiend territory, who use energy weapons. A Fiend warband, whacked out of their brains with Psycho might look to satisfy their bloodlust, or Jet might make them so twitchy that they keep shooting until everything is ash. The hit is too professional though, Brotherhood of Steel-level military tactics, which wouldn’t match up with tweaking Fiends, but the Brotherhood doesn’t attack caravans without high-level technology.

Since there are too many inconsistencies, Cass wants to see what happened to Griffin Wares, another caravan company. The wreckage is the same, disintegrated caravan and cargo both, which means it cannot simply be a one-off, at least by video game logic anyway. Conservation of detail means that two times is enough to be strange, and three times is a confirmed pattern via the Rule of Three. Now suspicious instead of curious, Cass and the Courier investigate Durable Dunn’s Caravan. Living up to their name, however, this time there’s evidence that this was not the result of random juiced-up Fiends but a concerted assassination and murder by the Crimson Caravan and the Van Graff crime family, looking to murder their way to maximum profits by eliminating the competition and establishing a monopoly. We have the reveal and now we reach another classic hallmark of the Western genre, what is the hero supposed to choose? Kill them both in revenge for their crimes, or trust in the NCR’s justice system and bring evidence to Ranger Jackson to indict both of them. We also get a good view of a classic Western conflict, the big monied interests versus the little guy. These happened plenty of times in the west, such as in the Johnson County War where the homesteaders fought the wealthy Wyoming cattlemen’s association. 

Cassidy, hot-headed, is looking for a good brawl, and you can have two big fights at the Crimson Caravan HQ and the Silver Rush, the latter of which being a big energy weapon fight where, if successful, you can walk away with enough microfusion cells that you might qualify as a ghoul. That’s the classic Western anti-hero move, where the justice system is a tool of the powerful and both the crime syndicate and the corporation are the powerful. This form of justice is sorted on the frontier, beyond where the corrupt courts can reach. It’s immensely satisfying to Cass, and when she gives into her wrath her character receives a permanent upgrade of 15% gun damage. Combined with her Shotgun Surgeon perk, which ignores DT, Cass can become quite lethal with a 12-gauge. Yet the damage is not limited just to the Van Graff’s and the Crimson Caravan. The NCR is proven to be unable to protect caravans leading out to the Mojave on the Long 15 and so supply shipments drop off, and NCR settlements suffer. The Divide was already destroyed by the Courier before the game even started (and the Long 15 might be nuked depending on your choices in Lonesome Road) so that really stings.

The alternative though, is putting your fate in the hands of the corrupt NCR, ruled by its brahmin barons and other monied interests. Cass trusts Jackson with the evidence, but it would take a long time to prosecute the two conspirators. It means delaying the visceral satisfaction of revenge and the power that such an act can entail, and risking the chance that it fails. But if you show faith in the NCR, then that faith is rewarded. NCR uses the conspiracy to shape up their trade laws, and the Crimson Caravan and Van Graffs hurt in their bottom line. For her own part, Cass calms herself and becomes much tougher as a result, gaining max HP. Of course, this is clumsy though, since the Gun Runners can end up vaporizing both of them with no push back and your get the best of both worlds (and previously, a bug allowed you to peacefully complete the quest then go kill them and get both perks). It’s a bit clumsy perhaps, but life isn’t fair. Personally, I would have designed the quest so you had to collect a certain amount of evidence, not enough and the Van Graffs and Alice McLafferty get off scot-free. Whether that would be in the quest or just an ending slide, I could go either way, but I think that would have been a better way to build that kind of quest.

Of course, you could do nothing with Cass. You can bring her to Jean-Baptiste Cutting and have him gun her down to complete Birds of a Feather, coldly escorting Cass to her own slaughter. Of course, this is an evil act and it makes perfect sense for Cass, the one who would be disgusted by an evil Courier, to be the one eliminated in an Evil Karma path. That’s a credit to Obsidian, few developers are brave enough these days to create mutually exclusive content because of the cost of production, or mutually exclusive content being binary beads on a string where you have to choose between a saving a bus full of nuns or devouring a live kitten with minor callbacks and a morality meter to note your choice. But that’s a function of the increased cost of production these days, gone are the days when a level could be produced with a couple of writers, artists, and scripters (such as it was in Fallout 2). 

You knew it was coming. If this surprised you, you have only yourself to blame.

Cass is a supporter of the NCR, and it’s here that she shines, perhaps even unintentionally, as a revisionist Western character. She likes her country, but she’s aware of its flaws. The NCR lacks direction and cohesion, their compass is “always spinning, all the time.” The NCR is family, and you love family, but you can help but hurt as well that your family is constantly screwing up. The constant need to spread, to acquire more land and resources. It’s great press for the top, like Kimball who can give his pretty speeches at the Hoover Dam, but the common NCR grunt has to fight hostile gangs and wildlife without an established support structure to back them up. And Cass sees that if the NCR wins, it won’t change because it won’t learn. She wants the NCR to fix itself and is completely at a loss for how to do it. She far prefers NCR over the other factions, but she isn’t blind to its flaws. Like Raul she understands why some would join the Legion (provided they weren’t women, of course), because the security of their supply lines means that the threat of random violence is reduced, and that’s important in a post-apocalypse. Why pay these crushing NCR taxes if they won’t protect you? Why is NCR expanding to Hoover Dam when it can’t even stop cazadors from nesting near the power lines? They’re too thinly spread, and they won’t consolidate and reform because that doesn’t win you elections. 

The same is true of the Western genre in the revisionist Westerns. They state that the frontier was a black-and-white affair, where good guys wore the white Stetson and the desperados wore the black one. Cass’s feelings on the NCR are similar to what plenty of Western writers thought about Westerns, and what citizens of their own countries think about the nations they live in. The words that Cass speaks about the NCR could be said by any member of any nation, loving their country but wanting to fix the flaws. 

This isn’t to say that New Vegas is completely morally grey. There’s some clear moral lines that can be drawn, Caesar’s Legion is clearly an evil and cruel nation despite Caesar’s claims of Hegelian dialectical inevitability. But what about the NCR? Do its intentions for good or ill doom it or save it? Do you continue to support that family member that constantly screws up or do you stop giving them the rope to hang themselves. The answers to that question aren’t easy, but the faction system working toward the goal of what the Mojave is one of the biggest draws of the game, and so it’s clearly showing that these are types of questions worth discovering an answer to, whether it’s in the real world or the fantasy world.

Cass, as a character, gets you to start thinking about the flaws of these factions, because the grand climax of Hoover Dam has you picking which factions you want, whether one of the large ones with their own visions, or the ala carte options of the Yes Man playthrough where you pick which ones to embrace or reject. So Cass, in a nutshell, is that way a distillation of the grand Fallout: New Vegas experience; something you’d never expect from a whiskey-soaked nobody drowning her sorrows in a dingy bar in the corner of the map.

Thanks for the question, Anon.

SomethingLikeALawyer, Hand of the King

[skittles1229]

Old Expectations Die Hard (Dashie x Reader Fanfic)

Chapter One: Weird Circumstances

You know your life is complicated when the friend you always complain to says "you never have a dull moment do you?" I sigh as the weight of the world seems to make it impossible to breath. You see recently things have been rough. I lost my job and my fiance all in the same day, that itself was an unbelievable story. I was so upset and strung out on thoughts of what to do that once i got home early from work i didn't notice the extra car in the driveway. i stepped into my home and my own floors felt as if they'd given way when i saw the guy i thought i'd be spending my life with in bed, with my sister... my sister and i hadn't been on good terms for a while and for a good reason! The drugs she took either made her unreliable and selfish or crazy and murderous. He, of course, pulled the its not what you think, id never hurt you, it was a mistake, and honestly i could write a book out of the excuses i heard in the time of two minutes but maybe another time. Needless to say i left. I never thought about going back and to be honest my sister looked more hurt then i was. I took a job in California a few weeks ago and moved in with my friend (BFF Name). They always seemed to know what to say and honestly i truly believe They  knew me better then i know myself. 

California gave me the biggest culture shock I've ever had. I came from Mississippi, the bible belt and the most rural part of the world. California was sooooo different then what i was use to. The weather is awesome. There's lots of jobs for technical people, at least until you're 45 and then you're considered ancient and you can't possibly know anything when some 23-year old out of Stanford tells you that they know it all. (a little bit of sarcasm there) It's a great place to start a new company, money is available as is talent. The risk of starting a company is lower since you can always find a new job The politics are insane, if you aren't towing the progressive party line you should just STFU. If you even once say that Trump has done something positive, or that Obama did something negative prepare for the wrath. Read the stuff behind the recently filed lawsuit against google for a taste of what it's like. Seriously, don't say a word. The state if structurally bankrupt, although the finances look good because so much stuff is off of the balance sheet. The public pension liability dwarfs the "good" part of the budget, and some day it is coming home to roost. Watch out when it does. The cost of living is absurd, really absurd. I'm not talking just a place to live but gas, electricity, haircuts, milk, pizza, you name it. The traffic is absurd too. (can you tell i like the word absurd) The public transit, although usually on time, is a mess. People are pigs, they throw trash everywhere, the cars are overcrowded almost all the time. 

I've got to say, from how much it sounds like i hate California, i actually don't.  Mainly because its so far away from my original family, leaving really helped me start to grow up and feel like maybe i was getting a hold of my life again. Only problem has been getting to my new job on time. I work as a barista and a waitress at a brunch place a good minute away from the apartment. The money is good, otherwise i wouldn't waste my time with the commute everyday. i keep being late to work because i still haven't adjusted to how terrible traffic is and so my boss was "nice" enough to switch me to the later shifts. The hours are long and boring because my shift starts in the middle of rush hour to the slowest hours at the end of the day meaning you have to find things to keep yourself busy with. the only good thing is, we can wear pretty much anything we want as long as its black. all i wear is dark colors so i didn't have to spend any extra money on a uniform and i didn't have to wear the same thing everyday. Today i decided i wear a v-neck shirt that with an emperor waist (body forming) with black skinny jeans and my regular converse. i decided against driving to work and decided it would be far smarter to catch a bus to the nearest destination. My (hair color) hair was done is a fishtail messy braid, i always liked this style because it made me look like i had a head full of hair when in reality i thought i was going bald. 

My personality was a little odd, you see some days i felt like the beautiful nerd who has no confidence and wants to hide away in a hole. other days i feel like a model from Victoria secrets, of course those are the days i get the most tips. today was honestly a mutual day, where id rather be at home in my bed asleep, or listening to music. The bus finally stopped a block away from my job and i sighed obviously not wanting to go into work. surprisingly there wasn't nearly  as many cars as there usually is around this time but i wasn't complaining. i walk in to see that most of the downstairs was empty but whoever was upstairs definitely had a loud mouth. i walk to the back in order to clock in and i bump into melany ( the girl im shifting with). "wow you actually got here on time! Maybe the boss's mood will cheer up." i huffed a little. "yea, i dont know why i thought id need a car in California, say whats with the low level of customers? its NEVER this slow." she looked at me in disdain, "some guys reserved the entire upstairs and we had to make this huge table out of all our tables up there, glad im not gonna be the one fixing it later." i rolled my eyes, i hated when a huge family came in and they just had to move everything around because little johnny wants the sit next to suzzie and suzzie HAS to sit by her parents bc she likes to throw her food on the floor, all fake names but a real situation ive been in before. "well have they at least been fed so that i only have to clean up after them?" she shook her head while hanging up her apron. "nope, they've only ordered their drinks and they are getting those onto trays now." so today was gonna be like every other day. "guess i better go help them take those upstairs then, have a good rest of your day." i walk away and slip on my apron, grabbed one of the trays of drinks while another waiter grabbed the rest of the drinks. Once i got upstairs, that's when i met him...

Chapter Two: Last Will and Testament

          He was sitting on the far end of the long table of people laughing and joking. everyone seemed to be loud and all had their own inside jokes. This guy, he stuck out. i changed my attention to the task at hand, finishing this shift. i hated when people moved all the tables and seating around. all the waiters and waitresses have to go back behind them and look at the layout of the floor to put them all back exactly as they were before. it was a struggle and because of this nobody actually wanted that job so usually the manager gives it to her least favorite workers and i happened to be one. "who all had coke?" nobody answered me so one of the men bellowed out the same line and somehow was able to get a show of hands. i walked around handing  out drinks, catching the lingering smell of strong liquor. i could tell by the end of tonight they would all be wasted and loud. please, just don't make more of a mess then you have to, i thought to myself. i had one drink left on my tray, "sweet tea?" the guy i saw before at the end of the table waved his hand and i dreaded going over there, i always seem to make a fool of myself when it matters. 

     i make my way slowly down the table with the tray under my arm and the tea in my hand. i lean over to sit his drink on the table.."here's your t-" *CRASH* while joking with one of his friends his elbow crashes into my hand sending the tea flying all over me and the cup crashing to the floor, thank god i wore black. he turned around and looked more horrified then i did. "i'm sorry! i'm so sorry!" his voice was deeper then i imagined it'd be. "no, it my fault i'm sorry ill get you a new one." i turned away to hide my embarrassment and walked away really just trying to get away from the situation. i could tell from the silence behind me that all eyes were on me. i ran to the back where the lockers were for the service. i went to the bathroom and stripped the sticky clothes off throwing them aside. i sat on the toilet  trying to catch my breath, my social anxiety had struck me  hard. a feeling of worthlessness and dread fell over me like a blanket. after the past few months i've had just one day without something terrible happening would mean the world to me. i heard a knock on the door, it was melany, she walked in with a towel from the kitchen. "hey, i heard what happen upstairs are you ok?" i covered my breast trying keep myself as unexposed as possible. "oh yea im fine, im just cold, and sticky, and... covered in tea." melany and i made eye contact and both laughed just to lift the dread in the air. "let me guess, all the guys are getting a kick out of watching me fumble again huh?" i said a little less concerned and more annoyed. she rolled her eyes "they are boys, they get a kick out of picking their own nose. we both slid to the floor beside each other, she hands me the damp towel. i get most of the sticky off as possible, throwing my hair up to make it look less clumped together by the sugar. "i have an extra black t shirt in my locker but i don't know how it will fit you. your breast are at least a size larger then mine." i shrugged my shoulders, "who cares ill make do. thanks for your help melany." she smiled her weird anime girl smile and ran to get the shirt from her locker.

     ill have to admit, she was right about the size thing. it was far to small around the chest area but the rest fit fine. after the incident my boss stuck me down stairs wiping tables and sweeping the floor, i dont mind though because i get to experience the day coming to an end with a beautiful sunset over California. i secretly kept the the window to watch as the sun fell from the sky. the sky seemed to burn and darken while the clouds began to glow with the last bit of sunlight left. the sky filled up with burning Burgundy and faded orange and yellows, the tallest buildings seemed to reach for the skyline as if it were a sunflower moving to the last drip of sunlight. moving here had been hard, and this had become one of the things i looked forwards to. living in the apartment with my friend was nice, buts its not the same as coming home to someone you use to lay with every night. sleeping alone seemed so much colder and emptier then i remembered from childhood. my mother would be so disappointed in the way i turned out, in the places id gone and the decision to spend my life with someone who was most obviously the wrong one. she would have told me to slow down and to take my time, that growing up wasn't everything. she would have said love isn't something you just wake up and have, its something you make. i wasn't anywhere close to where i thought id be by now, and i could see that. it tears at my heart everyday, not being able to see her or any of my family. sometimes it felt as if they'd all died in the fire that night. 

     i suddenly heard a boom of voices making their way down the stairs, i hadn't realized how close to closing time it had become. all of them walk out stumbling and laughing at their own jokes, seems they all got a good bit of drinking in, all except one. The guy i ran into on accident seemed as sober as ever, designated driver i think, he was much taller now. he seemed muscular but in such a fitting way for his body. his teeth sparkle because their so white, his smile complimented him best. his high cheekbones made his chocolate brown eyes his best feature. His skin was glowing with a sweet honey hue and before i could notice that i was staring he turned his head. his eyes met mind before i could think twice and that's when i felt the heat rise to my cheeks. weather it be from embarrassment or silly school girl shyness i didn't know . i turned my face away but it was too late, i turned my face a little just to catch a glimpse of him before he made his way out of the door and that's when i noticed his cheeks had gone from a burnt caramel to a rosy color. i felt my body shiver at the thought that maybe, just maybe he found me as attractive as i found him. i shook the thought from head realizing they had began locking the place down. as i helped close up shop and wash dishes i couldn't help but to let my mine wander to all different kinds of thoughts, funny thing was they always fell back to him and his rosy  cheeks. i couldn't help but smile as i felt my heart race at the thought of him, even though id made a fool of myself today i was glad i hadn't ruined my chances. Even if he'd never get with me or i wouldn't ever see him again, i'd still take it as a compliment that he even looked my way. 

     before long we were all outside laughing and talking about today. The manager locked the doors and said his goodbyes. i turn to walk towards the bus station when i see a man standing aside awkwardly between the restaurant and the parking lot. suddenly my eyes adjusted and once they did, the joyousness butterflies came back and the blush suddenly reappeared on my cheeks..

There are lots more chapter after this if you are interested you can find them here

https://my.w.tt/sosFRmianbb