#he'll be a cute himbo at first

[yoongsriverandme]

just so you guys know this is the tae that's going to be in my farmer!kim taehyung fic!!!!!!!!

BEEFY TAE FOR LIFE!!!! (and he's going to be even BEEFIER than this jsyk!!!!)

[squiddyfics]

squid game characters in a relationship with you

saebyeok, thanos, namgyu, daeho, hyunju, semi, the recruiter

description: how squid game characters would be as partners (au; no mention of the games)

18+ minors dni

warnings: nsfw in parts!!

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

saebyeok:

♡ you were the one to ask her out and she quite literally didn't believe it

♡ like she didn't even answer you at first because she didn't think you were being serious

♡ she has a hard time expressing her emotions. you definitely said "i love you" first and it took her a while to feel comfortable saying it back

♡ despite this, she was the one who fell in love first. she just kept that shit to herself lmao

♡ rather than being outwardly affectionate with her words, she expresses her love through quality time. she loves planning dates for you or just cooking for you at home

♡ she's not big on pda, but she'll wrap a protective arm around you while you're out together

♡ if someone hits on you, she'll get even more protective. partly out of jealousy, but mostly because she hates the thought of someone making you uncomfortable

♡ she's a generous lover. def more of a giver if you know what i mean

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

thanos:

♡ he was the one to approach you, and he was bold about it too

♡ you aren't his first partner by any means, but you're his first real love

♡ he looooves to show you off. "look at my baby. look how lucky i got."

♡ naturally, this means he's into pda. the more eyes on the two of you, the better. he wants the whole world to know you're his

♡ especially if someone shows interest in you... then he gets even more touchy, so he can rub it in their face that you're his, all his

♡ if anyone wrongs you, he'll vow to make their life a living hell. you can't even gossip about your work drama to him without him getting angry on your behalf and threatening to kill them

♡ even though he talks a big game he knows he's lowk a loser and he doesn't take it for granted that you choose to stay by his side

♡ that being said he makes you his bitch in bed. he's for sure heavily on the dominant side

♡ he also has an exhibitionism kink i just feel that in my bones

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

namgyu:

♡ he was the one to make a move on you, but he said it in a joking manner so that if you said no, he could play it off as not being serious

♡ this man's love language is physical touch there's no doubt about it

♡ his words don't match his actions.. like he'll make fun of you for crying during a movie while simultaneously cuddling you and rubbing your back

♡ he doesn't have any cute pet names for you, just insults said in a loving manner ("stinky" etc). he just can't take himself seriously enough to be sappy

♡ you've unlocked his secret second love language, which is sending you memes

♡ he wants to be seen as tough so he pretends to hate it when you call him cute (he does not, in fact, hate it) (it actually melts him)

♡ he gives the evil eye to anyone who dares to look at you for a second too long

♡ you are for his eyes only

♡ he's dominant in bed but he likes you bratty. he wants to work for it

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

daeho:

♡ you had known him for a while, and you had to be the one to ask him out because he was oblivious to all the hints you were dropping

♡ he was too much of a gentleman to risk overstepping your boundaries by asking you on a date

♡ however, once he had the confirmation that you actually liked him, he was all in

♡ he was absolutely the first one to say "i love you". that man fell head over heels

♡ he is patient as fuck and will put up with whatever bullshit you throw at him. like when you tested the orange peel theory on him and he passed with flying colors

♡ you literally have a pet boyfriend. he'll go anywhere with you and do anything to make you happy. your fav himbo <3

♡ he's prone to jealousy but tries not to show it so as not to make a scene in front of you. if someone hurts you, though, all etiquette goes out the window and he's ready to start SWINGING

♡ your pleasure is his priority in bed and he's up for whatever you're into, but when it comes to his preferences, he'd much rather be dominated by you

♡ call him a good boy and his brain will go haywire

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

hyunju:

♡ you definitely had to make the first move. this mf was way too stoic to express her feelings for you

♡ she got anxious and cancelled on you before your first date, so you had to be persistent and reschedule

♡ she was surprised by your strong interest in her, and she still doesn't know how she got so lucky

♡ it took her a bit to open up, but she ended up saying "i love you" first

♡ she's extremely protective of you. her introversion is forgotten as soon as someone upsets you, and she's giving them a piece of her mind within seconds

♡ she doesn't really get jealous, she just gets sad :(

♡ she's an acts of service girly. she'll vacuum your floor, change a flat tire for you, anything to feel useful to you

♡ she gives stone top energy (this one is more for an f!reader as it's a wlw term)

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

semi:

♡ she was the one to ask you out, and she said it so casually that you almost missed it

♡ her first "i love you" was also casual, said as she was leaving your house one morning. "bye, love you."

♡ you honestly don't know if she's prone to jealousy because no one has fucked around and found out. everyone around you two respects her quiet confidence and doesn't even bother trying anything with you

♡ she has strong opinions, but she expresses them calmly. because of this, the two of you never fight, though you do occasionally have respectful debates. you tend to walk away feeling like she was in the right after all

♡ she's not huge on pda unless it's something cute and lowkey like holding hands, or some stupid shit like licking you

♡ you def have a secret handshake

♡ she's a soft dom and she's not shy about wanting to receive. she wants you on your knees in front of her

♡ with that said, she also gives great head. that lip piercing..... iykyk

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

the recruiter:

♡ he asked you out at a bar, making a bet that if you lost at pool, you'd go on a date with him

♡ you lost on purpose so his fine ass would take you on a date, and the rest was history

♡ he said he loved you first, and he said it fast. it's not often that he feels love for someone, so he had to act on it

♡ he would do anything for you. anything. if you asked him for help burying a body, he'd tell you not to get your pretty hands dirty; he'd do it himself

♡ not that that would happen... but he's thought about it. he knows that's how dedicated he is to you

♡ this freaky little fuck doesn't feel an iota of jealousy when others flirt with you. he just smiles, knowing know matter how much they fight for your attention, it'll be his name you're screaming at the end of the night

♡ he likes to be in control in life, and that translates to the bedroom too

♡ he has big sadist energy, but if he ever actually crosses a line he'll drop everything to comfort you (and beat himself up about it)

[musickool]

𝐻𝐸𝐴𝐷𝐶𝐴𝑁𝑂𝑁 ₁

𝑣𝑎𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑠 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑘𝑒𝑎𝑛𝑢 𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑠 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠:

ted logan —

type of guy:

sweet lovey-dovey dork, this himbo will be all over the place

as soon as bill mentions valentines day, all the hairs on his body just stand

the thought of him being so lovey cringes him out but he's just can't remove the obsession with you.

he's so tooth-rottenly cute, when you're around him, he just don't know what to do with himself. you approaching him is like him seeing an alien. either runs away or just freezes and breaks a sweat when you talk to him.

you’re his brainrot and ted's just sadistically a victim to it, completely wrapped around your fingers

musters up the courage and makes it his objective to make the most excellent v-day ever

creating planning boards in his room, preparation talks with Bill, lowkey stalking you at school

saves up every penny in his piggy bank, not wasting a single dollar

reads up on things on what girls would like

love language is quality time and words of affirmation

valentines plans:

excellent adventure ted— you first spend the day on an afternoon at an arcade; you and ted wearing casual formal outfits (ted in his tuxedo and converses, you in a dress and sneakers), playing on all of the arcade machines, giggling, screaming and laughing and goofing around.

he then takes you to his favourite spot by the Circle K, chilling down on the pavement. playing some UNO/tells you his wild adventure stories/jamming out to punk & pop rock on his speaker, sitting and eating slushies and a hot dog

OR

after the arcade, he takes you to a diner, ordering a classic American meal (two burgers, fries, onion rings, two milkshakes with the extra cream & a cherry-on-top)

finishes the date with a trip back to Bill's, awaiting a heartwarming surprise (aka the anticipated secret)

he cutely takes your hand and sits you down on a chair, closing your eyes whilst you wait. 5 minutes later, you take them off at his command, waterworks immediately start to run as you look at the sight infront of you.

ted, with his guitar, announces his special song for you.

hands begin to strum on the guitar, puppy loving eyes gazing into yours, heartfully. ted serenades you with a sweet melody, accompanied by his surprisingly sweet voice

in the garage that's decorated in cutesy heart decor; red and pink balloons and banners all over the place, you feel as if you're in a safe haven, enchanted away here by your adorable, innocent boyfriend

mid performance, ted brings you up to the stage, twirling you around and then dancing with you. his big BFG self towers over you, slowly rocks your body and embraces you tight with his bulky arms. leaning in his head, ted finally caresses your face and kisses you— signing off the most excellent Valentines day ever. . .

bogus journey ted— either takes you to the movies or rents a movie at the local blockbuster, so he can watch with you in his apartment

for the outing, he takes you to the movies to watch a cheap chick flick he thinks you'd like; popcorn, nachos and a big shake

at home, he puts on a sci-fi movie, both stuffing down on a large pepperoni pizza, watching contently

afterwards, you kick back and relax for a long smoke sesh, getting high on some good weed whilst he puts an arm around you, nestling and cuddling with you close

he'll definitely brings out a guitar and sing to you, smoking a spliff that still rests between his lips (typical lightskin moment)

one way or another in ol' netflix and chill fashion, the night ends with ted loving on your body— giving you the most ultimate rocker boy finale his bodacious girl needs . . .

face the music ted— buys two VIP tickets, for the both of you, to a summer rock festival across state; booking an all-inclusive hotel nearby so you and him can rest in with convenience (away from the kids)

packs all the necessities— snacks, water, a pack of beer, foldable chairs, portable fans, sunscreen, a pair of sunglasses, and a charging bank

you both get to the airport, getting on a plane and travelling off into the concert place

arriving at the hotel; you unlock and enter your room— spacious king-sized double bed, tv, automated bathroom and a great view outside the window. the hotel has an all-you-can-buffet that you never forget to not miss

following the next day, you dress up for the concert; you wear a house of sunny 'lemons on a plate' dress with yellow sandals, and ted wears a white t shirt and cargo shorts, styling up with sandals and a hat

for the whole three days, you and ted rock out to live iconic rock music. screaming, jumping, and partying; dancing like you never you could

golden retriever ted watches out for you; handing you snacks, cleaning after you, supplying water, emergency hugs, cheering you up

breaks into a chuckle and laughs when he catches your boomer self taking videos and pictures, uploading them onto facebook and instagram ('me and hubby @/tedtheologan rocking out at the _____ festival! party on, dudes ! 😎🤩😀😍😆❤️👩‍❤️‍👨💍⚡️🤘🤙🎫🏴‍☠️🎸❤ #____festival #summer #sunny #fun #mostexcellent #smiley #happy #happyvalentinesday #rockfestival #yolo #youngforever #foreveryoung #tb #throwback #80s #1988 #2024 #thenvsnow #wyldstallyns #mosttriumphant #rockmusic #date #valentines #couple #airguitar #happy36thyearanniversary')

last night of the festival ends with a colourful night show, fireworks lighting up and crackling the night sky. under the bright lights, ted takes your hand and holds them. warm, tall body pressed against yours, he gazes down on you with such love. gently caresses your face, hazel orbs boring into yours, rubbing the small of your back soothingly. he closes in and kisses you on the lips, passionately making out with you

the fireworks continuously keep lighting up in the background, looking like a happy ending straight out of a movie.

type of gifts:

handmade stuff: arts and craft/DIY cards with cute stickers, colourful glitter, ribbons and drawings (imagine him getting glue all over his fingers and hands, big 6'1 self hunched over his little creations uwu)— gifts you a teddy bear and says something along the lines of: "babe, i got you this teddy bear, even though i'm, like, totally your teddy bear... and my name is Ted!", some candies, 'girly stuff' like makeup, "..because you're a babe and all..", a handwritten song personally made for you (with the help of wingman Bill), tulips and roses he got from his England expedition, an antique necklace he got from his Greece expedition, heart-shaped chocolates, some tapes and vinyls of your favourite music

john constantine —

type of guy:

typically indifferent

depressingly and callously cynical

not the one to be celebrating stuff like that, but he'll do what it takes to make you happy

he knows it's still worth it, just as long as it's with you

love language is gift giving and physical touch

valentines plans:

literally remembers ON the day, springing up from bed and bolting outside. goes to like 30 different stores, searching for the best presents he can find

runs back home with last minute stuff before the sunset. doorbell suddenly rings and john opens up, smiling as he sees the love of his life, you all prettied up in a cherry red dress, heels and matte makeup (something is bulging...)

you and john get in the car and he drives you out to a late night dinner, only to be met with disappointment when the restaurant he spoke to earlier informs him that the reservations are all booked up

sighing in devastation, john bows his head and shakes disapprovingly. he looks up to give you a weak smile and rubs your back reassuringly, gesturing you to head back inside the car. the both of you drive back to his, decidedly opting for some Chinese

you both head back to his, decidedly opting on some Chinese

john resumes back to finishing the set up of the living room; red candles and roses on the coffee table

impromptu date begins: candle lit dinner in front of the tv, you both drink some wine and eat some takeout, watching a random movie

finishing up, you doze off asleep, snoring on his lap

john still watches the tv, glancing down on you every 5 minutes. he wraps a warm cloth around you, resting a hand on your back. the urge of him to kiss you is burning him alive but he remains neutral.

he's upset that the day has been ruined, the one thing that he could've gotten right all slipped and fell out of his fingers. his callous self for once actually cares about something, something he originally thought was 'insignificant', something he wished it could've gone more better

even though the day didn't go out as planned, you've insisted that it's not too bad—grateful for the date overall. it's small and disorganised, but as least it's something, , as least it all ended with him

types of gifts:

silver antique jewellery, a card, giant teddy bear, a box of chocolates, and roses

john wick —

type of guy:

DILF, DILF, DILF

valentines day with baba yaga?!

already got the whole day planned and sketched out, back-to-back

john's fat wallet's will treat you well

always 'knows a guy', so you know your ass is about to be showered to filth

the wholesome family man side of him will be coming out, abandoning the stoic, brutally cold assassin behind

no more john wick— now it is jardani jovonovich

love language is gift giving, acts of service and physical touch

valentines plans:

he would start the morning with cooking you a nice sunny side up and toast, a side of maple pancakes and coffee. whilst you eat, he calls up a spa centre and gets you booked in at a lavish clinic, ordering some men to take you there privately. he asks you to call up your friends, inviting them to the spa day as well. gives you his card and some change just in case. once you leave, he cleans up your plate and cleans up the house, decorating and preparing whilst you're gone.

a full day later with hanging out with your girls, you return back home, deeply relaxed from the tantalising spa treatment. opening up, the house is completely dark and quiet, only seeing rose petals leading off to somewhere. walking along the rose covered path, you follow it and halt at the dining room. right there at the table, sits your husband of 5 years, warm smile on his face; white polo shirt and jeans. he gets up to greet you, kissing you on the lips and forehead

john's whipped up a classic candle lit dinner, steak and baked potatoes with a glass of wine. after a nice hearty meal, he takes you upstairs via the rose-petal lane, leading you to the bathroom. you're welcomed to a bubbling hot bathtub; two glasses of champagne, face masks, scented candles, and a charcuterie board sitting on the bath rack. you two hop in and relax in the tub, slippery naked bodies against each other. you watch a drama series on his laptop, silently staring at the screen

one blink later and you're in bed with john. big hands clasping on your small waist, bearded kisses and pecks littering on your stomach, muscular strong body dominating over yours, stocky fingers slipping to unholy places; john ends the day with pleasuring you for the night, showing you what no other man but him can give.

types of gifts:

surprise trips, full package spa treatments, his card for shopping trips, makeup, perfume, high end clothes, expensive wine, a bouquet of flowers, chocolate, a small teddy bear, menstruation stuff (pads, tampons, pills, hot water bottle pouch, snacks, his masseuse expertise, baby— this man loves you), anything you want, name a price, john will be your man

thomas anderson (neo) —

type of guy:

similar to constantine but more open-minded in his indifference

either forgot or is pretty clueless on what to do

casually flips through calender and scares himself shocked as he realise the date is tomorrow

goes on a forum to ask for help: "@/cyberspacecatontheweb: any suggestions for valentines day ?? I (37M) and a girlfriend (34F) are going out on a date and I don't know what to do. sm1 help a guy out thx"

goes on the internet and researches on ideas

eventually gives up and just scraps the ideas, goes with the flow

love language is quality time and physical touch

valentines plans:

thomas wakes up early and gets changed; black shirt and suit on. you arriving to the 101 apartment, he takes you out to a Chinese restaurant downtown. orders quite a lot of food— dumplings, stir fry, sweet and sour chicken, rice, hot pot, and bbq ribs. he pays the bill and you two leave, walking out to window shop.

later in the evening, thomas takes you up to a rooftop, sitting down and watching the city below. he hesitates, but then opts to spontaneously show you 'something cool'. gets out a tech device and presses a button, opening up a cybernetic portal. jumps inside and pulls you with him. you both teleport to a white void, confused and scared as fuck. thomas reassures you and shows you some of his latest tricks like emerging buildings and cities out of nowhere, binary codes that pop up and creates a giant ass dog that almost eats you, floating and flying through a cyberspace wormhole. for the last bit, he gently grabs your hand and shows you the last thing he promised: binary codes formulate and change, syncing up together and creating a love heart. thomas presses another button and the heart opens up, revealing a cybernetically generated portrait of you and him, written underneath 'happy valentines day xoxo'. his hands move to your waist and he slowly kisses you, simultaneously taking you back to the real world.

types of gifts:

digitally-made things: flowers, teddy bear, heart, a picture of you. makes a hologram gadget that does origami, a scented candle he remembers you like, cool tech glasses, paired with some gloves, that's installed with a program that allows you to do things- holographic games and worlds all built into these spectacles (norman jayden from heavy rain reference)

jonathan harker —

type of guy:

mr darcy-coded

valentines day with him would be a fairytale, straight out of a book

sensitive, kind, chivalrous, charming, courteous, and hardworking, your princelike husband who will always know how to woo you to your knees

planned everything in his sanctuary, ready to show you how he can treat you well

love language is gift giving, acts of service and quality time

valentines plans:

you wake up to a traditional english breakfast-in-bed; hot tea, coffee, porridge, bread, and eggs, served by maids. then you're being dressed up for the day, maids helping you out into your modest and elegant attire, fixing your hair, doing your makeup, and dusting you down. jonathan escorts you onto to the carriage, heading off first to a picnic at an expansive, spacious garden. The place is embroidered with pretty plants and flowers, fresh fragrance of pollen filling your nose. you and jonathan settle on the grass, laying a blanket. you enjoy some tea, crumpets, scones, and sandwiches, admiring the floral nature. jonathan dotes you inbetween small talk, complimenting your look frequently. for some short time, you both get up and walk around, appreciating the afternoon. after the picnic, he hires a photographer to have your picture taken. you sit on a chair as jonathan stands behind you, posing for the camera.

shortly comes the evening and it's time for the special occasion. you both get onto the carriage again, heading off to a restaurant. the restaurant is filled to the brim of posh people alike, halls decked with chandeliers and embellished with statues and paintings. the pair of you enjoy the night, relishing and dinning happily. jonathan brings you back home, taking you to the bedroom to surprise you with a bundle of flowers and a toy bear. he kisses you softly and gracefully on the head, reminding you of his love. you both tuck into bed and lay down for the night, sleeping peacefully into each other's arms.

type of gifts:

a basket full of roses, lilies, orchids and carnations. handwritten poem, a card enveloped and stamped with a red heart wax seal, chocolates from romania, dainty jewellery, toy bear, fragrance, a trip to paris, tickets to see an opera and a theatre performance, small trinkets, fruits, and a pocketwatch locket.

kevin lomax —

type of guy:

sugar daddy kevinnnnn

toxic but fine husband

will absolutely spoil you rotten, pampering you like a princess

love language is gift giving, physical touch, and acts of service

valentines plans:

first thing in the morning, breakfast's being sent to you at the penthouse. kevin leaves a note on the nightstand: "hey sweetheart, it's me. how was breakfast? it was good, right? i've called in your boss to let him that you're sick, so no need to go to the office. your whole day will be booked: spa treatment, nails, hair, and a private boutique booked so you can try on some new outfits that you'll be choosing for the evening. make sure you wear that lingerie i got you and don't miss any of those appointments. daddy's gonna have fun with you tonight.

love kevin xoxo"

you do as exactly he says, rushing up & down, excitedly getting changed. a black limo takes you to and back of all destinations, attending all your scheduled appointments. at the boutique, a blonde clerk waits for you, standing by a row of clothing racks with designer clothes hanged and heels below to select from. after carefully selecting, you choose a snug black dress and heels, fully dolled up for the occasion. a makeup artist quickly does your makeup, just in the nick of time kevin arrives, black waist coat and suit & tie. you exit the building to find him standing by the car. his eyes wonder around and check you out, hypnotised by your beauty. linking arm to arm, you two are driven to the wall street restaurant. the place is luxurious; interior design opulent and rich. kevin grabs a seat at the vip section, inviting some of his fellow law firm coworkers along. you cheers to a good night and dig in to the fine dining, enjoying the night. almost midnight, you and kevin return back home, immediately jumping into the jacuzzi.

you strip out of your clothes and wear the cute swim piece that kevin's bought for you— a black skimpy bikini that hugs all of your curves and cleavage. you sit back and relax with your man, peacefully sipping some champagne and enjoying each other's company. many drinks and pillowtalks later, the night ends with what you exactly expects: sounds of skin slapping and bed shaking; your moans echo throughout the bedroom. kevin's tall body thrusts repeatedly into you, grunting and groaning as he fucks you. lasting with the real pillow princess treatment, kevin worships your body and makes love to you, showing you who you really belong to. . .

types of gifts:

expensive makeup, luxury trips abroad, designer outfits, exclusive spa treatments, sexy lingerie, his black card for those shopping trips, perfume, deluxe jewellery and accessories, a bouquet of roses tied in a bow, heart-box of chocolates, expensive wine and champagne, adult toys (wink wink), a white teddy bear, polaroid photos of you and him

[koolades-world]

hello ^^

was wondering if youd be able to write something about the demon brothers (and maybe diavolo too) with mc whos a little dumb? as in they forget a lot of stuff (what day it is, where they put something only a few seconds ago, etc) and dont know a lot of things even if its obvious. theyre also a bit gullible and fall for fake news or scams a lot. basically a bimbo/himbo type of mc.

hi!! yeah sure thing!

actually went to google if there was a gender neutral version of bimbo himbo and apparently there actually is

presenting: thembo! haha I love this term

enjoy :)

Thembo/Himbo/Bimbo Mc

Lucifer

very protective of you

can't help but internally smile whenever you forget your train of thought or asks him what today's date is for the third time

if there's an unreliable news source that keeps finding it's way into your hands he sees personally that they mysteriously goes out of business

gotten surprisingly good at finding things you lost, like he'll just move one thing out of the way and what you're looking for will be there (big mom energy here)

Mammon

he's a himbo himself tbh

you're cut from the same cloth so you can be silly together

100% both of you will ask each other the time, check your D.D.D., and only leave that situation with what percent it's at so you have to check again and still don't have the time

you match each other's energy so well it's meant to be

Levi

he's not quite sure how to feel at first

he gets overwhelmed by the amount of questions you ask, but once you start asking questions about his games, you're instantly close

he doesn't mind repeating himself since you actually care about him

sometimes he forgets everything besides gaming so he gets it

Satan

if Mammon is your birds of a feather flock together, he's your opposite attract moment, even better than Lucifer

he always makes sure to let you know if something you've heard is fake or not and always makes it a lesson even though despite you listening, never seems to stick but that's ok he still loves you

however he loves how you embrace all of the things he loves even if you don't fully get it, like all the more complicated books he reads for fun

it's alright he has enough brains for the both of you lol

Asmo

sometimes he's very himbo so he has solutions to your problems

gives you a cute little invisible ink pen that activates when you stand or sit in spots you're in a lot to write on your arm with since regular ink isn't cute (solomon made it <3)

always asks you if you have everything before you leave the house with a checklist, and when you got home

please make sure to thank him!!

Beel

he also has the same oblivious nature, but he's more dense while you're more airhead

if you put your heads together (and with a little help from belphie) you can usually figure it out

will help you look for your D.D.D. while the both of you use the flashlight on your D.D.D.

ultimate duo fr

Belphie

he thinks you're so silly but tries to keep any playfully mean comments to a minimum

sometimes he can't help but poke fun at you but afterwards he always tells you he's sorry and tells you you're pretty

straight up puts tracking devices on important items that you handle everyday so that if you lose something, you can easily find it again, such as your toothbrush and textbooks

Diavolo

another sorta himbo, since he seems like he has no idea what he's doing but actually is very aware

if you lose something and really can't find it, no worries! he can just buy you a new one or have the Little D's search for it since they'll do anything to help you out

very understanding and sweet about it since he kinda gets it

the both of you can embrace this lifestyle together

[11queensupreme11]

If Dory is the youngest Posy kid, who's the eldest? Ariel?

it's this guy!

axiandros, the dude percy subtly named after anthonius lol!

also, i finally made up a personality for him too hehe so i'm gonna ramble about him for a bit

axiandros is the first born posy kid and he was actually pretty decent when he was younger!!! percy raised him to be kind and human, and he was!!!!

....until he got older and poseidon sunk his claws in him 💀

unfortunately, displeasing his father has more severe consequences than displeasing his mother. pissing poseidon off would lead to all kinds of verbal, physical, and psychological abuse whereas with percy he would more or less get a stern lecture about right or wrong. the latter's a lot easier to cope with 💀

he's the eldest too so he was the first kid to experience first-hand what it means to disappoint his father. not only that, but he's poseidon's FIRST EVER SON. poseidon absolutely refuses to except ANY flaws from his own first-born. he must be perfect, or he'll get rid of him.

so out of fear, when he was still young, he started to obey to his father more. he became less kinder, less sweeter, less like a "normal kid" and more like a god. he worked his ass off to make zero mistakes in everything he did. he tossed aside all of percy's teachings and values because being like that only led to more abuse. but soon enough, being "perfect" became less of a way for him to survive and more natural as he gradually started to absorb more and more of poseidon's ways until it actually became who he was. and thus, a yandere was born 😔💔

HE ALSO HAS BEEF WITH EUDORIOS LMAO

as i mentioned before, eudorios basically has the percy's 🥺uwu🥺 he's ditzy, lovable, charming, a giant himbo, he's basically PERCY but 1000000x more unhinged

but nobody knows that eudorios is actually unhinged. to the other gods, he's just a sweetiepie, a percy 2.0 with poseidon's face. he's the "angel" of the posy kids just like his mommy

and axiandros. fucking. HATES it 😭😭😭😭 eudorios is imperfect. he's flawed. he makes mistakes. he's stupid. ridiculous. rarely takes anything seriously. he likes humans (eudorios actually sees them more as cute and dumb creatures but they don't know that 😭)

(eudorios is just like their mother but axiandros refuses to call her "imperfect" tho lol)

and worse off, percy ADORES him 😂😂😂 he can't stand it. he's forced to watch his beloved mother dote on his failure of a little brother despite him already being grown. she smothers him with love and spends so much time with him, and axiandros is JEALOUS.

poor dude longs for the old days where percy used to dote and baby him, but that was back when he was still innocent and sweet. he's become a monster now, and percy sees how different he is, how cruel he's become and it breaks her heart 😭💔 she never says it out loud though, she still treats him well. but she doesn't BABY him anymore. doesn't shower him with love and affection anymore, but not because she doesn't love him, but because she believes he doesn't want that 😭 he's poseidon jr now, nobody would ever think he wants to be coddled and treated like a baby 💀💀💀

but anyway, the dory and axiandros beef is so fucking funny and also really sad. because axiandros did everything he could to earn his father's approval, but he's lost his mother's affections. he doesn't get it and it drives him crazy. he's "perfect", so why doesn't mother love him as much as she loves eudorios???

"does mother hate me? why does she love eudorios so much? why didn't she protect me as fiercely as she protects him?"

[diagonal-queen]

hii! can i request hunting dogs with clumsy s/o?

Hunting Dogs with a clumsy S/O

♡ pairing: Fukuchi Ouchi, Jouno Saigiku, Tecchou Suehiro, Teruko Okura, Tachihara Michizou x gn!Reader

♡ synopsis: What are the Hunting Dogs like with an S/O who's clumsy?

♡ cw: Swearing, mentions of getting hurt/bumping into things/getting accidental cuts, mention of alcohol

note: It's been a while since I actually posted some proper writing. I genuinely do apologise you guys- there's not really any good excuse for me taking as long as I have. Long work hours and bad home life combined have me absolutely fuckin spent, but I know that's also the case for other writers who still manage to produce work on at least a semi-regular basis. I just wanna try and get on top of some of my reqs that've been gathering dust in my drafts lmao. Thank you guys for your support and I love you all <3 apologies for errors and I hope you enjoy x

Fukuchi:

I'm gonna be so real with you right now bro literally doesn't care

Like he gives absolutely no fucks that you're clumsy. Fuck you could trip into one of his many barrels of alcohol and fully destroy it and he just wouldn't even be mad

He'd just help you up and be like 'ah you're so cute when you trip over and faceplant and destroy my stuff <33' (probably not that far from verbatim to be honest)

I genuinely don't know what else to tell you other than 'he doesn't care', because he doesn't. Any mess you make, he'll have it cleaned up. Any precious item you break, he'll just replace it.

His only real concern is you somehow hurting yourself, but even then he's not really that worried because he'll find some insanely talented doctor to fix you right up. It wouldn't be an inconvenience for him at all

(Fukuchi IS a sugar daddy and nobody except me has ever acknowledged it and it's lowkey bothering me like c'mon be so for fucking real guys)

All this being said, he probably wouldn't let you carry something extremely valuable like amenogozen (not like he would let you carry it anyway, but your clumsiness does contribute to his overprotectiveness of that stupid dumbass sword)

As always, he will get pissed if anyone else gives you a hard time for your clumsiness

Your whole dynamic is basically just Ozzie and Fizz lowkey

He really just lets you do your thing honestly, he doesn't care whether it's imperfect or whatever. If you're clumsy, then clumsiness is automatically cute tf

Jouno:

Jouno's like the total opposite of clumsy, literally every particle of his being is perfectly coordinated at all times

So he might be upset at first to learn that your motor skills aren't as up to scratch as his are.

You need to remind him that hey, how does he expect a regular ass person to measure up to a genetically modified super soldier? (which is a totally fair argument that even he doesn't rebut)

And after some consideration he's like 'okay fair' and tries to get used to your clumsiness. Keyword being 'tries'; he's not always perfect at tolerating it, but he's doing his best and that's what counts

If you're the kind of person who curses when you stub your toe (or god forbid that thing where you bump your hipbone on the corner of the table for some reason), he's totally cool with that. He's fully okay with swearing

He just doesn't really like when you randomly yell or cry out in pain really loudly/right near him because of the auditory overload

If you cry he will take the time to calm you down and kiss whatever part of your body you hurt better (pretends to hate it but absolutely doesn't)

Uses your clumsiness as an excuse to hold your hand when you guys go out together <3 he also likes feeling your pulse speed up when he touches you

Will randomly pull you in certain directions while you guys are out walking and when you're like 'why?' he'll be like 'you were about to walk into a pole sweetheart' then you turn back around and yeah he was right

Tecchou:

One of my favourite versions of Tecchou is aloof himbo Tecchou so that's what we're going with. Anyways he would be like '...just stop dropping things tf'

It doesn't take him that long to accept that fact that sometimes you're just clumsy without being able to control it and he probably shouldn't trust you with dangerous or fragile object

It probably secretly annoys him a bit at first but he doesn't wanna make you feel bad about

His attention quickly turns to prioritising your safety, so ultimately he doesn't really care

He's really strong so a lot of the time if you have to carry something heavy he just offers to carry it instead. Not only will he be saving you from back pain but he may also potentially be preventing your toes from being shattered under the weight of whatever you would have been carrying

Tecchou would want to cook for you to keep you away from all the kitchenware and appliances, but you don't let him because you know he'll whip up something absolutely abhorrent. Even if you sometimes get nicked with knives or touch hot pans, it's better than eating his food (sorry Tecchou)

He wouldn't want you to leave your place on your own if the weather is rainy or something because that means the pavement/ground is slippery (if you ask him to carry you the chance of him saying yes is surprisingly high actually)

If you ever bump into him, he'll act nonchalant about it but he would be blushing and sweating and shaking and panicking and screaming crying throwing up hyperventilating fanboying dying

Teruko (platonic):

Like most...general traits that a human could have, Teruko would probably make fun of you for it at first

Eventually her teasing would become more lighthearted and silly instead of genuine, but if anyone else tried to bully for you it it's on SIGHT

Teruko can be clumsy sometimes, but more often than not it's just harmless things like carrying a stack of documents and not making sure to secure it so that sheets of paper don't fly off the top

When it comes to her physical strength and combat everything she does is very intentional and coordinated. If you see her actively being clumsy she probably really does not care about what she's doing lol

She's the kind of person to do dart and knife throwing for fun but if you're even in close range of a blade she freaks out and worries that you're gonna fatally wound yourself somehow

If you do end up getting hurt she'll help fix up your injury, like cleaning wounds or bandaging you up or whatever, but she'll chide you about it the whole time (she's hiding the fact that she's secretly super concerned for you)

Absolutely has a phone recording of you tripping and eating shit and always threatens to send it to people unless you buy her food or something like that lmao

Unlike Jouno or Tecchou she's a little bit of a prick and doesn't warn you when you're about to bump into something and then laughs when you bump into said something

I mean she won't let you get hurt hurt but also seeing people get hurt is funny sometimes lmao

Tachihara:

Let's not pretend that this motherfucker isn't also a clumsy bastard

C'mon the two of you are constantly tripping over your own feet let alone each other's feet. You're an accidental chaotic dual MESS

I mean Tachihara is a little less clumsy than you, being a Hunting Dog and all, but if he's sleep-deprived or drunk or something like that he is a literal safety hazard. He definitely doesn't realise how much of a unit he is

As such, he doesn't really mind that you're also clumsy. If you drop things or whatever he doesn't get upset, just helps you pick/clean them up like the sweetheart he is

Also tries to catch you if you trip over (his success rate is improving steadily) but may also fall over in the process so you never really know

He uses his metal manipulation to keep you from getting hurt. If you're in the kitchen and you're about to drop a pot on the ground he catches it before it lands on your feet. Is he really your man if he doesn't use supernatural abilities to keep you from dropping shit

Pretty much every room in the house is stocked with bandaids just in case. You guys almost always have tons of matching ones, along with bruises and random little sores that you have no memory of attaining

Again, if you're the type of person who swears when you stub your toe, the absolute horrific vulgar language that comes out of Tachihara's mouth when he stubs his toe puts you to SHAME

You're as equally concerned for his wellbeing as he is for yours. You both take good care of each other's physical health where you can

taglist~ ♡ @gettinshiggywithit, @fyodorhatr, @flower-of-darkness, @bejeweledgirl

[jeankirsteinsgrlfrnd]

Could i request aot men with reader that has asthma?

the aot men and dating an asthmatic person

modern au

eren jaeger sooo bullies you about your asthma. he means it endearingly but sometimes it's a little much. eren also loves to be incredibly dramatic about it. he says things like "alright guys, dont make (y/n) laugh too hard, their lungs might explode."

armin arlert always carries an inhaler around, just in case you might need it. you have your own but he's afraid you might forget it. he's always telling you to take it easy but you make him incredibly nervous because he thinks you're pushing your limits.

connie springer calls you 'lil wheezy.' it was cute at first but now he calls you that more than your real name. he's also broken a few of your inhalers from throwing them around or accidentally stepping on them. you've never had an asthma attack around him and hes grateful because he thinks he'd have a heart attack.

jean kirstein pokes fun at you and your lungs that work a bit overtime. he draws little doodles on your inhalers and always reminds you when its time to get a new one. once when you needed a hit, he insisted on pressing it for you. it was a really sweet, intimate moment.

reiner braun adores that you have asthma. he's not quite sure why but he thinks it's because he finds it a little nerdy and it just adds to your charm. he think's its funny that he's such a big gym bro but if you attempted some of the things he does, you'd be out of breath.

bertholdt hoover is so, so sweet to you. he always takes your asthma in consideration. he walks closer to the smoking section if you're walking past one, so you don't have to endure that. he totally checks the air index too.

levi ackerman carries your inhaler around for you. he keeps it in his jacket pocket, he insists on it. he tries to force feed it to you even when you don't need it. you have to convince him every time you're only slight out of breath and that you don't need to take a puff.

erwin smith doesn't bother you about your asthma. he trusts you to not over work your lungs and to be responsible with your inhaler. occasionally, he'll remind you that you need to get a new one but you're pretty good at keeping on top of that stuff.

zeke jaeger loves his asthmatic partner. he mocks you when you lose your breath but he follows it by presenting your trusty inhaler. everytime you two watch a movie together and there's a mention of asthma or an inhaler, he goes " look babe! it's you!"

porco galliard is sort of a helicopter parent. he won't let you go anywhere without it, even if you're just going to take a shower. he doesn't quite understand the entirety of it but obviously he wants to keep you breathing. live, laugh, love, himbo porco.

my jean fanfic

my ko-fi

[batwritings]

Hii, I hope you're doing well! Can I please ask for headcannons for the brothers and dateables (if not everyone, you can choose, but please write for Lucifer, mammon and barbatos) would react if MC offers to put chapstick on their lips.

I know it's a strange ask, but imagine this scenario: It's gotten really cold suddenly (in? On? At?) the devildom and MC notices said character has chapped lips and seems very uncomfortable with it. She offers them her (can be gn!reader but I'm using she/her for better explaining) chapstick and they deny, but she insistist in putting on them, and they feel giddy because she's caring so softly for them 😭😭😭

I in the vibe of soft casual love, stay warm and hydrated 🫶🩷🩷🩷🩷

I don't think this is strange at all! Soft caring actions like that are honestly cute as fuck to me. Enjoy!~

Lucifer The absolute quickest to deny you. The great and powerful Lucifer? Receiving a smidgen of help??? The greatest travesty in all the realms, clearly. But bat your eyes and maybe bring him some Demonus and he might crack. Once you get it on, he didn't realize just how badly his lips were chapped. You'll be offered a small thanks, and a promise of something more substantial for a reward once he has more free time.

Mammon How could the cold affect the great Mammon so much? He simply didn't believe you at first. Fun fact, he knew damn well his lips were chapped as fuck. He just really didn't want to admit he needed the help. Simply subdue him with a kiss after putting on the chap stick and he'll be a puddle of grimm in your hands.

Leviathan <Insert MC doing the inhale "BOI" meme here> Being a shut-in means Levi doesn't exactly get out into the cold much. Therefor, he's a little more susceptible to the effects of the cold than his brothers. One trip to get a new Ruri-chan figurine and he's got chapped lips for days. Thankfully he has you to thoughtfully apply chapstick to his lips which leaves him with a persistent blush every time the two of you cross paths.

Satan Oh? It honestly hadn't crossed his mind. While he's no Asmo, Satan does take pretty good care of himself. He's actually the most lenient of the brothers in letting you help. If this were the Nightbringer universe, he's fight you a bit more. Yet the wrestle session would be a nice release for his anger, even if he couldn't go full force on you. He'd thank you by letting you put the chapstick on, blushing in denial of enjoying the attention.

Asmodeus Asmo, sweetheart, darling, you can't use lip gloss as chapstick, I'm sorry. And that'll be his excuse, mark my words! You have to explain to him that sadly, most gloss doesn't cover the chapping and he'll be more than amenable to let you put it on him. In true Asmo-chan fashion, of course he'll need to test it on you, just to be sure. A reward for helping him always look beautiful.

Beelzebub This man's gonna try to eat the chapstick, and no, you cannot convince me otherwise. You know how people see a big animal and go "if not friend, why friend shaped"? Beel, sweet himbo lad that he is will legit ask you, "if not food, why food smelling?". Did you have to reapply it multiple times because he kept licking it off? Yes. Did he complain to you every time that it didn't taste nearly as good as it smelled? Also yes. Did he learn his lesson? Nope!

Belphegor He spends ONE (1) NIGHT up in the observatory and ends up with chapped lips. It's rather annoying to him, and he genuinely doesn't hear you the first few times when you offer to put chapstick on for him. Belphie will deny it at first purely on the basis of "I'm not a little kid just because I'm the youngest". Just wait til he gets too tired to fight you on it and you'll get a mumbled little "thank you" before becoming his favorite pillow. Hope you have nothing to do for the next few hours.

Solomon Unsurprisingly enough, it wasn't the cold that got him! It was a spell gone wrong in trying to make a chapstick that would never let your lips chap again. Solomon sighs very defeatedly and sits back with a pout as he lets you put the balm on his lips. For practice purposes, he has you sit down and look over the ingredients to see where he went wrong. May or may not purposefully mess it up again to have you so close again.

Simeon You can't tell me this man wouldn't absentmindedly pick at the chapped parts of his lips. He can't be perfect forever ya'll, he's gotta be a little weird like the rest of us. (/j) You actually catch him in the act which makes Simeon fluster and admit to forgetting his chapstick in his room. His denial of attention and care for you is half-hearted and he very quickly crumbles at the chance to be so close to you. Maybe he'll have to forget his chapstick more often.

Barbatos This man is far too busy to realize his lips were chapped. It was one of those rare instances that you two crossed paths that you noticed and offered to put some on for him. In another rare instance, you notice Barbatos blush slightly because he didn't realize he'd looked so out of sorts. He had meetings with Lord Diavolo later that day as well, so yes! Please! Quickly! You make sure to add a generous amount in the hopes that it would last him through his meetings.

Diavolo His lips were chapped? Truly? It's only then that the demon lord to be realizes how absolutely flooded he'd been and that Barbatos had even told him about that earlier in the day. When you offer, Diavolo tries to politely decline, asking you not to waste what you have on him. It only takes a few minutes of remembering how busy he'll be and how this is absolutely a chance to know even a smidgen more info about you that he relents and lets you apply it gingerly to his lips.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

ok im not going to tag this but i need you guys to know that my endgame ships for eridan and karkat are

eridan ♦️ karkat

eridan ♥️ roxy

roxy ♦️ calliope

eridan ♠️ calliope

karkat ♥️ calliope

i call it "the polycule only a blood player could love" and although it manages to be perfectly healthy, from the outside, everyone looks like they're cheating on everyone else. nepeta is staring at it going ":33 < dodged a fucking bullet!!!"

Eridan ♦️ Karkat

the ship with the most canon backing. this ship needs to be true before all other ships can be true because it keeps the two of them normal enough to have a shot at romancing anybody else. nobody realized they were pale for each other for an embarrasingly long time because their regular day to day conversations feature slurs and death threats. sometimes looks pitch or flushed from the outside because karkat is a mess who can't stop yelling at people he's trying to romance in the red quads, and because eridan gets really needy sometimes.

Eridan ♥️ Roxy

They get together within five minutes of knowing each other and, despite Rose's protests, never ever break up. Eridan is into cute, pink, bubbly, nice girls, and Roxy is into eccentric troubled princes. Not to mention she fucking loves wizards, and Eridan is a wizard, and that they're both hipsters who use rifles. Also Eridan is weird as hell and Roxy thinks he's hilarious for it. Despite the fact that he puts on this unpleasant, nasty act, he'll pretty much do anything Roxy tells him to, and she likes that. She thinks he has himbo energy. Everyone else thinks she's deranged. Like girl that guy is an insane murderer. Girl he will not stop saying slurs

also their specific abilities are diametrically opposed in an interesting way? prince of hope = can destroy anything he believes he can destroy, rogue of void = can create anything by stealing away its nonexistence. neat!

Roxy ♦️ Calliope

since they aren't trolls and don't need to calm each other down, it's not really a proper moirallegiance, but they're bffffffs and the kinds of silly fun-loving gals who would call their friendship a moirallegiance even if it doesn't have the biological components or serve the social function of one. Two girls that just love each other.

Eridan ♠️ Calliope

biologically, cherubs only engage in pitch romances and are attracted to other cherubs that remind them of the other half they lost in predomination. what i'm saying is that calliope - unfortunately for her - has brother issues. initially put off by eridan's superficial similarities to caliborn - his bluster, his riflekind, his insane logic and thick skull, and how damn often he talks about murder - as they get to know each other, the feeling becomes mutual. eridan is generally totally ok with outright hostility, but calliope's faux-nice smugness when taunting an opponent would drive him nuts, as would the earnestness with which she approaches magic (what kind of POSER needs to RELOAD their WAND), and in general, i think he'd take her genuine well-wishes toward other people as a personal affront, a la "i didn't ever need anybody to look after me!"

they somehow have a 50/50 win ratio at the board games they play, which drives calliope nuts. "believing in your pieces" is not a valid chess strategy!!!!!!!!!

also i think it's fun and thematic, the angel killer and the cherub, whose adult form features hope-shaped wings.

Karkat ♥️ Calliope

We know two things from his crush on terezi: the first is that karkat is into clever, cunning gals, and the second is that he's really fucking messy, the kind of guy who would tell his flushed crush to "set the table on his bone bulge for their candle light hate date." Fortunately, or unfortunately??? for calliope, the fact that he will scream obscenities at her is kind of what she's into. everybody, please, a moment of silence for calliope, who somehow manages to have worse taste in men than roxy.

but yeah more seriously, karkat has a big and loving heart, and so does calliope, while calliope maintains a cleverness and intellect that karkat would be into.

normally, it would be a huge problem for your moirail to be pitch for your matesprit, and we have that both ways here. however, a few factors are mitigating that here. first, eridan will always prioritize karkat or roxy over calliope when they're around. this actually does kind of piss her off, although she feels annoyed that it does. second, calliope is generally mature enough to compartmentalize. third, karkat WILL auspicetize if they aren't careful, and nobody wants that. and fourth, everybody wants to keep roxy happy.

but yeah everyone else watching it is like. are you guys okay? blink if you need help

ofc ship what you want to ship this is not at all me telling you what you should be into. im just saying that these ships have been calculated for Maximum Funnyness, which as we know, is the only objective measure for what makes a good homestuck ship

[frickingnerd]

kirishima bullying his crush

pairing: eijirou kirishima x gn!reader

tags: kirishima 'bullying'/teasing reader, missunderstandings & plot twist (kirishima is bad at flirting), pure intentions, himbo!kiri

kirishima had made your first year at UA hell!

there wasn't a day where he wouldn't pick on you

he was always accidentally bumping into you in the hallways, calling you names and isolating you from your classmates

you had a hard time making friends because of it, since he always managed to get between you and anyone else

this had all been going on for almost a year now

one day, when he cornered you in the hallways and you snapped at him, threatening to tell the principal about this if he kept harassing you and getting him kicked out of school

suddenly, he seemed like a completely different person to you

kirishima was apologizing, but he didn't seem to understand what exactly he did wrong

he told you that he'll stop flirting with you, if you aren't into it. he just doesn't want to get in trouble because of it!

you were confused what he's even talking about, but slowly you started to get an idea what he might mean

"you're telling me you were flirting with me this entire time..?"

turns out the boy actually tried to hit on you. he tried to give you cute pet names, instigate physical contact and spend more time with you…

you sighed, before scolding him for everything, telling him that this is not how you try to make a move on someone

kirishima promised you he'll start to change from now on and told you how sorry he was for making you feel uncomfortable

he was hoping that you could forgive him eventually and maybe become his friend

or that you two could be even more than friends…

[skellys-selfships]

i've got a new crush and need to feed the fellow shark simps-

Chazwick Thurman x Reader relationship hc's (suggestive themes etc)

• Chaz is definitely the first one to make a move on you, he's not subtle about his feelings even if he tried to be

• PDA is his THING, he's gonna let everyone know that you're his, he's not letting go of your hand, he'll be kissing your forehead, cheeks, and hands at any chance he gets, sometimes reaching around to give your rear a playful slap

• he has zero shame, sometimes he'll be at your door in the dead of night in attempts to "serenade" you.....with the most sexually charged songs he could think of. the entire neighborhood hears it. good luck :)

• his lack of shame + undefeatable confidence rubs off on you in ways you never knew you needed

• don't be too hard yourself, you're his babe and he wouldn't choose less than perfect

• he's extremely funny and loud, what most see as obnoxious, makes you right at home with your own immature sense of humor, let loose, he enjoys it

• if you're goth?? if you're good at video games? he's DEFINITELY showing you off to all his social media followers because that's a win in his book, he goes nuts for the goths

• please let him win if you ever play video games with him, he's an ugly crier

• he takes fucking hours styling his hair every morning, he takes his hair very seriously

• he really wants to style your hair, especially if yours is longer or messy, he really could've been a hairdresser....

• he cannot fathom ever shutting up and really appreciates your patience, not that he openly says it, but he shows his appreciation in different ways ;) if you can keep up with how much he talks, he feels very special

• it's hard for him to take NO for an answer and is a massive baby if you deny him anything but quite frankly, it's adorable

• he's not the brightest bulb so be understanding he doesn't really pick up on big words or more technical things

• he really loves taking you out, especially to clubs and movies

• his biggest weakness is praise, if you compliment his hair or his tail in any way, he's all over you in an instant

• his tail is where he likes to cuddle with you the most after your guys' "fun time", his tail is strong and very smooth, wrapping it around you and holding you close becomes normal behavior quite quickly

• he snores and talks in his sleep a lot. A REAL LOT, but most of what he says is about you

• he hypes up how sexy his "battle scars" a lot but in reality he hates his scars, it means a lot when you reassure him that they look hot, or you kiss the scar on his face

• he assigns you MANY nicknames, the usual cutesy petnames and some....many could cringe at

• 1000% the type of man to call you his little "discord kitten" 💀💀💀

• he unashamedly will send you tik toks of him dancing to really cheesy love songs

• if he sees you wearing his clothes he's instantly all worked up, you look great in his clothes

• you may touch his hair.....but don't mess it up, if you do he pouts like a lost puppy

• he sings you all your favorite songs any time he has the chance

• don't call your parents in the same room as him, he'll walk up behind you and start making the loudest sexual noises right near the phone and burst out laughing his ass off

• he praises you from beginning to end, you're his pride and he sees the two of you as unstoppable

• his attention span his short, if you're trying to include him in your interests and he zones out, he's not uninterested at all, he just loses focus easily

• he cries really loud and messy at any kinda sad part of any movie you guys watch together, even if it's cheesy

• he buys you so many gifts, cute clothes especially, he loves spoiling his babe

• he has his moments of trying to be romantic but usually interrupts it with a really bad one liner

enjoy shark lovers <3 i'm trying to get back into writing and this himbo is FUELING ME

[your-local-hoemie]

ꕥ Genshin Impact ꕥ boyfriend headcanons, mondstadt boy’s edition~

Warnings: Fluff, swearing, kinda suggestive, not proof read, gn!reader.

Summary: random head cannons about some of the mondstadt boys and how they act as your boyfriend uwu. (I have no idea what I’m doing)

Characters: venti, diluc, kaeya, albedo.

this is my first attempt so I’m so sorry in advance if it’s bad 💀

(I'll also do a part 2 if anyone is interested in this train-wreck)

VENTI~

- This smug little shit

-Extremely flirty and without even trying

-ESPECIALLY when he’s decided to down another nights worth of dandelion wine in less than a hour, much to Dilucs horror

“Ehe~ Windblume, you can resonate with my anemo statue anytime you please”

“VENTI NO”

-Loves to engage in bird behaviour and bring you little trinkets he finds

-Personal space? What’s that? My man is constantly holding onto you in one way or other

-Feeling down? Be prepared to be peppered with kisses and head pats

-Will purposely come up with songs to cheer you up and has no shame in serenading you in public!

-If you’ve been overworking yourself too much he WILL intervene~

-picks you up bridal style and carries you to a quiet place no matter how much you protest

-My man is sTRONG! He may look like a scrawny himbo small but please keep in mind that this is the archon that levelled mountains!

-Literally your biggest cheerleader

“Venti what do you think of my outfit?”

“My love, even the finest wine in Tyvat could not make my head spin as much as you”

-Loves to call you overly cheesy pet-names such as: archons most beloved/sugar apple/song bird/windblume/dear

-Invites you out to Angels Share at least 4 times a day

-Brings you Cecilia's and dandelions almost every day! even if you have hayfever

-Poor boy doesn't understand flowers can be lethal

-He has ALL the time in the world so when he's not drunk off his gourde you can bet he'll be dedicating that time to you!

-He ADORES listening to you! seriously! saw a weird looking bug? he'll want to hear about it!

-Will listen to literally anything you want to talk about for hours/days/a god damn eternity!

-Will be watching you!

-I swear, he doesn't mean to be creepy he just cares about you and your safety~

-Romantic idiots~

-Random nose boops when he thinks you’re being cute

DILUC~

-A born and raised gentleman!

-Absolutely despises the idea of you doing commissions for the KOF

-If this man see's you drinking with Kaeya be prepared for the most passive aggressive of man children you can come across-

"Darling I think you've had enough to drink. please let me escort you home"

"But Kaeya was just telling me about when you were childre-"

"Kaeya? Ah~ apologies, I seem to of mistook you for a over-watered house plant"

-He is NOT having it

-Surprisingly very flirty???

-has and will continue to name new drinks after you!!

-"Man I wish I could afford that" oh you sweet thing.

-You can

-Saw a outfit you really liked? jewellery maybe?

-You can bet your perfect little peach that it'll be waiting, neatly placed in a fancy box for you at home

-Romantic date nights AND dancing under the stars god i'm lonley

-Let's you style his hair!

-It's so fluffy how could you NOT!?

-Will walk around with the flowers you put in it with pride!

-Also with a face just as red as his hair if you tell him he's pretty~

-His go to pet names for you are: darling/dear/sunshine/love

-Will open doors with a little bow for you~

-Will get jealous if a little kid says that they want to marry you when they grow up

-Breakfast in bed

-every morning without fail!

-if he can’t wake you up himself he’ll leave a cute little love note and a rose aaAAAAA

-This man is so good at aftercare omggg

-little head kisses and cuddles that not even another archon war could pull you from

-Finds it adorable seeing how well you bond with the maids and staff

-I DARE the fatui to lay a finger on you

-Or anyone in general

-He knows you can stand your own easily but poor man is just so worried

-Has given up trying to convince you not to do commissions and even accompanies you sometimes

-Will read to you before bed~

-Has you lay on his chest or lap and pets your head while reading

-Idk why but I have this hc where he’s secretly really good at making specifically cookies

-Definitely hasn't considered having a hand crafted ring with your birth stone made more than once

KAEYA~

-Oh boy

-Flirty

-Too flirty

-Man will complement your ass at least 5 times a day

-He NEEDS you to know you're attractive to him

-Romantic idiots 2.0

-Diluc and Jean have had to scold you more than once for getting into the most ridiculous situations

-Once got kicked out of Angels Share after you both decided to have a drinking competition and ended up climbing on the tables to taunt Diluc

"You can't throw us out if you can't reach us luci~"

-He could and did

-Loves to run you a bath after a long day!

-Rose petals, candles, your favourite drink. Just ask and he’ll provide~

-Likes to “help” you wash

-Supports any idea you have no matter how god awfully ridiculous it is

-Participates in said god awful ideas

-Picnics on sunny days~

-Feeds you strawberries while watching the clouds i'm going to cry

-Jean has to scold him for day dreaming about you during work

-Give him a flower crown. nOW

-You won't even be able to pry it from his dead body istg

-Literally preserves it with his cryo just to make sure it lasts

-You once persuaded Diluc to come over for dinner

-You didn't do it again

-Though they both do try to get along for you~

-Kaeya.exe will stop working if you wear a skirt no matter what you identify as

-He's not a pervert I swear he just finds you irresistible

-When the knights throw a ball you two are instantly recognised as a power couple

-Hottest guests there istg

-Endless dancing even when there's no music

"Ohoh~ we don't need instruments to dance my dear. Not when our heartbeats can be our rythem"

-Smooth little shi-

-Man has cake. don't act suprised.

-Will get so flustered if you give it a little ground shaking slap

-Purposely annoys you just to watch you get all flustered

-Fav pet names are: Love/dear/snowflake/sweetheart

ALBEDO~

-What I wouldn't do for this man

-A sweet, pure, innocent bean

-Not to mention a gentleman

-First time he realised he had feelings for you, he was so confused

-Dude was like-

"What is this feeling? I'm so sorry traveller it appears i'm not accustomed to such emotions. I will have to conduct research into this"

-You actually had to awkwardly explain what it was

-He was also the last one to find out about it

-Everyone who saw you two together knew just from his body language

-Very smiley boy

-Very blushy boy

-Doesn't pick flowers for you

-Why would he?

-Not when he can cREATE them himself!

-He's still a little confused so give him some patience

-Affectionately calls your dates "research"

-Adores everything you do

-Has a actual fucking notebook filled with everything he loves about you

-Will read it to you if you're feeling sad

-His muse

-sketches you every chance he gets

-He just thinks you're neat beautiful in a ethereal way

-Loves going on commissions with you!

-Experiments with new creations to assist with them!

-Somehow got you a music box that plays your fav song

-Cute romantic dances under the stars 2.0

-He gets too flustered to do pda but he loves to hold hands

-Gets all blushy and constantly has to clear his throat

-Precious baby

-Ask him about his experiments please I'm begging you

-He'll get so excited and explain everything he's been doing with the biggest smile you'll ever see

-Klee adores you too!

-When he see’s how well you’ve bonded with each other he can’t help but feel like his heart is going to explode with happiness and warmth

-That is until he realises his heart isn’t the thing doing the exploding

-Stop encouraging this child to blow up timmie’s birds for food you absolute menace

-likes to bake with you!

- He says it reminds him of alchemy since you combine ingredients over heat

-he also gets cake out of it so how can he refuse

-you made him wear a apron that say’s “best boyfriend” once and sucrose walked in

-he thinks about that a lot at night

-he might not have a clue of what he’s doing but he’s determined to learn for you

-you’re his greatest experiment yet~

-his go to name’s for you areee: starlight/sweetheart/muse/flower/love/dear/darling.

(I hope this was ok! I’ve wanted to write this stuff for a while but I’ve been too anxious so please be nice or I will cry 💀)

[edwin-paynes-bowtie]

What sort of fun stuff do you imagine Kitty and Min Ho getting up to over the summer?

I think they're going to obviously travel a lot on Joonho's tour! I like to think that they'll have The Talk about their feelings early on, but I think it'll take a couple weeks since they're both super dense (affectionate.)

Once that's done, Minho will take Kitty on an EXTREMELY ostentatious first date. She'll find it really overwhelming, and he'll immediately realize his mistake like the himbo he is. He'll take her somewhere more chill after that, but with a lot of bitching and moaning. "Oh ho, Kitty, not my fault you couldn't handle the richness of the sashimi at that restaurant". It's really funny. And she's grateful that he made a plan B for her.

They go to fun places in the cities they visit. In Tokyo, they go to GiGo and Don Quixote (an insane department store). In Shanghai, they go on boat rides and have a picnic in Yu Garden. Maybe they go to London and Minho takes her up in the London Eye and kisses her. Maybe he takes her to the Tower to see the ravens. Or maybe in Rome, they go to Two Sizes and try all the flavors.

Basically, they spend the whole summer being cute as fuck.

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC REVIEW: Puck and Prejudice by Lia Riley

3.75/5. Releases 11/12/24.

Vibes: Hallmark time travel but make it sexy, A Gentlemanly Himbo, oh no it's marriage of convenience but love

Heat Index: 7/10

The Basics:

Pro hockey player Tuck Taylor is in a bit of a bind after he falls back in time to the Regency. He doesn't know what the hell to do—but fortunately, he can rely on Lizzy, a rather independent young woman of her age. Lizzy just wants to be as free as possible, which can only really happen if she's a widow. Solution: Lizzy will help Tuck get back to the 21st century, and he'll marry her beforehand. She'll be a widow without having to worry about the truly dead husband part. Problem solved! Except... the marriage of convenience thing is a lot harder when you're for real attracted to each other.

The Review:

Really, what a cute book. It knows the assignment. It does the things. It's a little goofy, but it's supposed to be. And it actually has both heat and heart. I'd describe it, as I did above, as a true "Hallmark but if they FUCKED" vibe. Which is what Hallmark should be, in my opinion.

One thing I found really smart about this is that Riley wastes no time on the "does Lizzy know he's a time traveler?" thing. She knows he's a time traveler, and she knows right away (which really added to the Hallmark aspect, for me). Tuck shows her his phone. She takes it all remarkably well. We're in business. I hate little more than bad pacing, and this pacing made sense to me. We get the time travel plot going quickly, but the actual romance is kind of like... Neither a fast or slow burn. Shit got down to business in a timely manner, but they didn't jump into bed together (or declare their love) immediately.

Lizzy and Tuck aren't super complex, but they kind of don't need to be. I will say that I liked Lizzy more—Tuck was a lovely guy. But he was a little TOO lovely to me. A lot of people are going to love that. For me, if a hero is a hockey player, I kinda prefer the "grr big man with a secret soft side" hockey hero, versus a "my gentlemanly and sensitive nature is on display from jump" hockey hero. Tuck is more of the latter, and truly, a lot of people will LOVE that. He's respectful and gentle, but he also knows how to turn it out.

There was one dialogue exchange that didn't really feel like... something a man would say... But I GOT IT. Tuck is sweet. Tuck is With Her, I think. And honestly, in these times especially, I totally get the appeal. Plus, it does make sense to make him on the up and up, considering the fact that Lizzy already lives in Misogyny Central.

One aspect of Tuck's history is that he's a cancer survivor. I found this really interesting, especially since it's something that he has a bit of PTSD over. He's really still adjusting to his new reality (and it does add a bit of pressure to the need for him to go back to his time—he really needs to keep track of his health and seek modern medicine if his cancer returns). There's a really great conversation that he and Lizzy have about one side effect of his treatment that I found so refreshing.

Also, it leads to her thinking that like... his dick just doesn't work. To which he is appalled, and trust and believe, IT WORKS.

Generally, this is a funny, light novel. I found the ending a bit too on the nose, but I can see why those choices were made. It's not the choice I would've made as a writer. But it's undoubtedly an HEA, and it does fit the overall tone of the story. This romance just doesn't take itself too seriously, and like—it shouldn't. Don't we want to have fun sometimes?

The Sex:

Ummm this was surprisingly hot. If you're a fan of "teach me" content".... You'll be happy here. There's some "finding myself in an inn" action, some "frantic jerking it because I'm too hot and bothered" content, a really good first time, tree mouth stuff (you'll see). It's good!

Also, there's a really great moment when one of Lizzy's friends who's been around the block tells her a thing or two about "riding the dragon". Not only was this funny—I just really love it when more experienced ladies tell their buddies what to expect in historicals. It's cute! It's sweet! More of it!

Anyway—yeah, if you want something completely serious, then this won't be for you. But like... why would you think it would be? This is about a time traveling hockey player romancing a Jane Austen fan. Just let it be. Have fun. Enjoy the sexy content. For the love of God. Enjoy yourself! Enjoy this! We need cheery fun sometimes!

Thanks to NetGalley and Avon for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[vampire-superstar]

Obey Me Characters: Can they Cook? HCs

Lucifer: Yes, but. Somethings off. It's perfect but you can't put your finger on why it feels wrong. Like being somewhere you aren't supposed to. Something isn't right. You probably shouldn't eat it.

Mammon: Surprisingly, yes. It tastes microwaved but the food is genuine and you can see he really tried

Leviathan: No. That's it. No. He eats cup noodles and pizza, of course he can't cook. His food tastes like it was dunked in fish water and microwaved for 30 minutes

Asmodeus: WHY IS IT STILL PINK??? He cooks based off aesthetic and not rationality. Salmonella sounds cute until you get it.

Beelzebub: Yes! He's actually really good! He'll slave away for hours just to make a meal he'll eat in thirty seconds but yes! Stan Bee

Belphegor: No.

Satan: Maybe? It's subjective. He cooks like a broke college student though. He can make grilled cheese, Homemade pizza and stir fry for special occasions, that's IT.

Diavolo: Eh. He's a big himbo he tries but most of the time it's a half decent dish and he slapped cheese and ketchup on it to make it better. Have Hells Kitchen on standby

Barbie-Toes: Yes, it's kinda his job. Safe to say he's throwing down in that kitchen. He will go into attack mode if he sees you with 'mundane food'. Eat your chicken mushroom puree and pasta with fra diavolo right now >:( He'll wait

Simeon: He's better at baking. He's an amazing baker but is ok when it comes to anything that isnt a roast or slow cooked. Otherwise it's pretty good

Solomon: Now you know damn well. If you call a house fire cooking, you've come to the right place. Please evacuate the premises IMMEDIATELY. He cooks like he's making potions. You will find roaches and newt eyes in your marsala. That's if you extinguish the flames first. This was the beef Barbatos had with him. I'd beef too if I found something squishing and swimming around in my casserole.

Luke: Can bake like Simeon. Just can't cook. He's like 8 what do you expect. He's also the reason the og paws event exists, he's not let off the hook 😤

[000-pawz]

i loveee when u say "order up" when u answer asks or when u post it's so cute 😭 but!!! speaking of sungho covering his face,, yk how u said he wouldn't fight against you even though he's so strong and could overpower you? i think that's part of the reason he covers his face so much during sex, like ik he covers his face regularly but during sex i feel like he'd do it even more cuz not only is he shy and vulnerable but he's also needing to do something with his hands or he will go insane so he covers his face or grabs onto your arms if you'll let him. i feel like he also covers his face when he's overwhelmed, like if you're edging him or smth and he's just squirming under u he'd cover his face to try and pull himself together 😞 also more himbo sungho!! the "you want to ride me?" is soooo him, i feel like he always repeats what you say to himself as if he's trying to confirm what you said so that it'll process through his brain, like he's sorting thru files to find the correct one, if you're like "such a good boy" he'll smile and be like "im a good boy?!" and he absolutely is 😞😞

IM FALLING TO MY KNEES RN!!!! biting my fist tears streaming down my cheeks i need to dom this man so bad its unreal

you're so right about him needing something to do with his hands!!! he'll instinctually reach for you when he feels too good, but if you make him moves his hands, he'll cover his face or grab the sheets :( he might even run them over his own body, whining because he's so overwhelmed... if you're feeling nice enough, he'd like it when you lace your fingers with his, stroking his hand with your thumb to ground him so he can still communicate with you!!! and he also likes to hug you if you're edging him so he can hide away in the crook of your neck, his hands shaking against your skin as he tries not to cum <3333

if you call him a good boy, the first thing he'll do is blink dumbly at you and then repeat it to himself because!! you called him a good boy!!!! he might even go "am i? am i doing good?" just to hear you say it again and again because your voice gets stuck on a loop in his head and all he can think about is being good for you!!! he's so precious :(((