#he’s very silly I’m so autistic (he is too tho)

[0ccams-chainsaw]

Yesterday my 11yr old brother asked me how many times Wilson and House have kissed

[axolozzy]

anyway wanted to post this wip because LOOK AT HIM!! MICHAELLL!!

[gayandgayerr]

intro post!!

dms and asks are always open! sexy horny autistics hmu (i will info dump or fuck, u decide)

about me

you can call me dream :)

22 (minors dni! ppl in hs dni! u will be blocked!)

they/he transmasc, bisexual switch (more bottom leaning currently, subject to change)

t4t mainly but i might make an exception if ur rlly hot

mostly an nsfw page but i guarantee i’m talking about epic the musical and other hyperfixations

i repost too damn much all my og posts are tagged # dreams horny even if they aren’t all horny lol

more below cut <3

about me continued sexy style

most masculine pet names are fine (ex good boy, i’m quite partial to sweet/pretty boy esp if u put a “my” in front of it ;)))))

please do not refer to my boobs they do not exist they are not here they are gettin GONE on april 1st (am very into future surgery scars tho do with that information what you please)

fine with most words for bottom anatomy (other than clit or vagina) masculinizing or not is fine (cunt/pussy, boycunt/boypussy, tdick, etc)

things i’m into

🫶weed intox🫶

praise

impact play/marking (idk what all specifically falls into it nothing too insane but like spanking, hair pulling, biting, back scratching,,,)

teasing/edging and overstim

being a brat😽i’m just a silly guy i can’t help it

somno

monsterfucking

forcemasc?? maybe just a little?? as a treat??

hard no’s

fauxcest, incest, age play, anything related!!!

detrans/misgendering!!!

anything weight related!!! i am fat and i love fat people but i’m nOt into feederism or anything of the sort!!!

bodily functions (scat, puke, excessive spit, etc)

raceplay

zoophiles/anything to do with animals

i block very liberally! i don’t like seeing any of ^^^ so if i come across it on your page you probably will be blocked, nothing personal just not here to entertain things i’m not into🫶

maybe into

LIGHT cnc,,some prompts i see are hot but a lot of if is too far for me personally

pet play?? so conflicted i’m a tboy on the tboy pet play website but i don’t like all the puppy talk,,maybe more into it if it’s just not dogs

down for sfw convos too!! some things i like

musicals (epic is my all time fave but i also like ride the cyclone, six, beetlejuice, wicked, hadestown and a lot more)

animated shows (bobs burgers, steven universe, the owl house, gravity falls, and she ra are my favorites)

non animated shows (all of dropout, grease rise of the pink ladies, the good place, and sex education are some favorites)

movies (httyd, pitch perfect, and bodies bodies bodies are some favorites)

i also watch/play dnd and do lots of crafty things!

again dms and asks are always open im an attention whore give me attention!!!!!

[charlieischaos]

Posting my headcanons bc I’m a silly billy ‼️‼️‼️

Lute Headcanons

Christian (duh)

She/Her

Bisexual with a preference for Adam (but she hasn’t admitted she’s bisexual yet)

Badass 🗣️🗣️

Hates most people except for Adam, Emily and Sera. Emily’s like a younger sister for her, Sera like a mother and Adam a role model, best friend & partner (in crime and in romance)

Trained herself in self defence as well as fighting (though it wasn’t necessary til the events of episode 8)

Loves horror movies

Doesn’t like musicals too much but actually got pretty into school of rock cuz of Adam

Loves fighting, would willingly kill anyone who fucks with her or the people she cares about

Easily jealous, especially when Adam’s literally flirting with others or calling other people hot (which is often)

Reserved in public, clingy in private (especially post episode 8 following the theory of Adam being down in hell now ‼️)

Scared of being abandoned

Has never cried around anyone nor will she ever cry around anyone (she’d only ever cry around Adam if she absolutely had to, for example episode 8, but that’s RARE.)

Autistic.

Adam Headcanons

Christian (DUH???)

He/Him

Pansexual (took forever to admit it, a combo of “$20 is $20” and “if there is a hole there is a goal” mentality)

Alex Brightman enthusiast

Loves rock (like he’ll only listen to rock or rock-like music)

School Of Rock fan (his favourite song is stick it to the man)

Egotistical, self-centred prick (but he still loves Lute)

Pro guitar player

Will only ever cry around Lute and it’s also very rare cuz it makes him feel weak

“All women belong in the kitchen (not Lute tho she belongs in my arms 🗣️🔥💕)” Adam, probably

Clingy both out in public and in private

Not easily jealous but if anyone tries ANYTHING he WILL get defensive asf like ���mf that’s my woman” type shit

Terrified to love (bc of Lilith and Eve, though it was his fault he doesn’t think it’s his fault)

Gets terrified watching horror movies and spends majority of it not actually watching it

Scared of storms 😭

Joint (Guitarspear) Headcanons

Lute and Adam defo play instruments together (Adam plays guitar and Lute plays piano or sings)

They hang out and gossip about the other Exorcists or the fuckers in hell every night while sitting on a rooftop and drinking alcohol (they probably stargaze too if they can)

They have matching bracelets that say danger tits and dickmaster for sure (Adam rarely wears it when out with Lute since he doesn’t think men should wear jewellery but he still wears it whenever he can when he’s not out in public)

They’re that one duo that judges anyone and everyone, if you’re judgable you’re being judged by them

They hype each other up constantly (examples: Lute in Hell Is Forever, Adam in You Didn’t Know)

Adam probably tries to impress Lute with his amazing guitar solos

Adam fell first Lute fell harder

They count down to the extermination like it’s New Years 😭😭

Lute could NOT handle Adam’s death (very sad 😔)

(Post Episode 8)Lute defo goes down to hell just to make sure Adam’s okay even though that’s extremely risky for her (BC WE ALL KNOW ADAMS GONNA BE DOWN THERE)

They both love drama so they just cause chaos together

They refer to themselves as partners (but use the excuse of it being partners in crime)

Adam is extremely bad at giving or handling physical affection and Lute is extremely good at both most of the time (it depends when)

Adam randomly picks up Lute to piss her off (the height difference is laughable)

Lute has selfies they both took prior to each extermination stuck up on her wall

Adam can’t handle horror movies at all so during watching horror movies Adam would be terrified (though too egotistical to actually admit it) while Lute is just being critical about killers and enjoying the movie

Adam is usually the one to incite flirting, whenever Lute flirts she’s just taking advantage of the situation

Lute only calls Adam by his name if she’s pissed and usually calls him sir

They tell inappropriate jokes 24/7 for fun (half the time the jokes lead to flirting 😭)

Lute has a horrible sleep schedule and so just falls asleep randomly during the day if she’s not gotten enough sleep (averages like 2 or so hours max if she’s lucky) and usually either falls asleep on Adam or Adam has to catch her if she collapses

Pillow fights.

Adam has to take care of Lute’s wings bc she’s reckless and usually doesn’t give a shit about her wings but Adam cares and so usually is the one to preen them and make them look better

@gothlute i wanna tag you in this cuz you’re the reason i decided to post these so enjoy!!

[marzonomy]

Do you have any headcanons of any of the pastas X a selective mute significant other? Like they go mute when they get overwhelmed or something like that. I'm autistic and I go mute from to much stress, mostly from college work lol. I love your writing, and hope you can do my request. Tho if you can't do it that's fine to <3

Omg a request! Finally! Fair warning I am zooted as fuck right now

Erm erm uhm victims: Jeff, Toby, L.J.

Jeff

Toby

Poor dude has no idea what’s going on

Second hand stresscore

He’s not stupid he can tell you’re stressed out of your mind rn

He just doesn’t know what the fuck to do

Panics and just drags you away

Asks what happened when you’re okay again

Uh

Um

God I’m so high right now guys I am so sorry. ☠️

Gets used to it eventually

Will talk for you if you want him too but he might get aggressive </3

L.J.

Actually handles it pretty well

I mean. For someone like him that is.

Literally just picks you up and takes you away

Probably to his dead lifeless carnival

Thinks he’s being romantic

Gives you space and makes sure you’re not overstimulated

If you’re okay with being touched he will smother you

He cant help it hes just Buppy like that hims liked affection like a little woof woof

Silly little dog man

Giant dog man?

[pim-lover]

🍓- I think Pim would have thrived in a teaching environment! Maybe an elementary teacher. I equally think a child therapist would be a good job for him

🍒 - We have actually spent a full day, given the area we’re in there’s a decent amount to do and he usually wants to go out rather than stay in. So usually we go downtown, look at murals, feed ducks, go shopping, or visit public gardens!

🍎 - he’s booooring and likes water most.

🍉 - He’s an atheist but I think he grew up religious. He’s pretty comfortable around religion and spirituality.

🍑 - Pim’s a lot more comfortable giving gifts. He gets super flustered when he’s receiving a gift. He does love it he’s just not used to it poor guy. He probably prefers receiving small gifts like sweets or smth rather than big grand gifts.

🍊- peel it immediately, no questions asked.

🥭 - he has a plush puppy that’s weighted he’s had since he was a tadpole and a few decorative ones like a Gwimbly from his fav game growing up, a lion, and a few others. The favorite has to be the puppy.

🍍 - family that had more attention on his, less chaos growing up

🍌 - We specifically both ban the Big Light™️, it’s overstimulating and we’re both autistic. They prefer softer warm lighting but 9/10 times he’ll want natural light.

🍋 - His anxiety and ability to see when someone just isn’t working.

🍋‍🟩 - oh 100%. He takes theater traditions especially hard. Wouldn’t find him breaking mirrors, saying the M-word in a theater, doesn’t say good luck to actors, that sort of things.

🍈 - well he does believe in destiny. /ref

🍏 - I think he always knew he was queer in some way (he’s bi and genderfluid in my hc) but his family does not look like the kind to be super accepting. Probably had some sort of crush on an actor, panicked because that’s not a woman, and ultimately looked up “I’m a boy but I have a crush on a boy.” Then down the “Am I Gay”? Quotev pipeline.

🍐 - Pim definitely fidgets, he’ll do little hand tricks with what he’s holding. He’ll click pens and undo paperclips and just generally mess with things. Doesn’t like sitting still.

🥝 - nobody should trust me to do their make up. I think Pim has a bit of a baby face going but does get a bit anxious with aging or stress lines, so maybe a little bit of covering. But not a lot.

🫒 - oh he LOVES hugs. Huge on physical touch. He’s not even 4 feet tall so he also loves receiving hugs and cuddles. The only thing is he doesn’t like being picked up too suddenly or by ppl he doesn’t know (very easy to manhandle him and he doesn’t appreciate it)

🫐 - I think he’s a poet, def a right brained person tho.

🍇 - making out. Passionately.

🥥 - Pim probably wants to get into more artistically inclined areas. He current likes reading or doodling in notes and such, not a lot of time to do much else though. He is also super musical. He has a keyboard he likes to make silly little songs and jingles to.

🍅 - I don’t know!!! I don’t like a lot of gifts, so he struggles. He did get me this cool Los campesinos shirt the other day tho

🌶️ - I don’t think he drinks when he’s sick but a bowl of soup and cozy blanket seems to do the trick for him.

🫚 - he doesn’t like a lot of greasy or unhealthy foods but there’s not much he will not under any circumstances not eat.

🥕 - Little Pim probably said he hated veggies but as an adult he loves them.

🧅 - anything emotional. Movies, books, shows, songs, just about anything can make him cry and he loves that. He’s a very emotional guy and super in touch with his sensitivity

🌽 - His fav animal is probably cats. Quiet yet affectionate. He’s definitely scared of most wild animals (lions, tigers, bears, I don’t think he’s scared of snakes or bugs though. Oh and koalas and kangaroos. Fuck those guys. They’re so scary…)

🥦 - he cannot stand ppl chewing with their mouth open. Being manhandled too he especially hates or undermined because he’s an optimist and a little naive.

🥒 - I think he’s got claustrophobia. It just makes sense in my big beautiful brain.

🥬 - He names his inanimate objects and greets them or apologizes if he bumps into them. Also refuses to sit elsewhere, he has “his seat” on a couch. If someone takes it he won’t complain but he will be a little disappointed.

🫛 - oh he loves them. Pet names are one of his favorite things in a relationship. He mostly says things like “love”, “hun”, “dear”, “sweetie” but usually doesn’t do pet names like “bunny”, “darling”. Babe is a rare one

🫑 - Pim is very casual about death, he’s definitely seen some shit and doesn’t seem to really react. If it’s someone he’s so much as aquatinted with or it’s a sad story he will cry but generally he’s very empathetic yet jaded. He wants to travel the world and get married and have a kid before he dies.

🥑 - he’s REALLY into games from the 80s. Like super into it. He’d run a whole YouTube channel about it. Plus I think he’s also a sports fan just not very open about it. But MASSIVE sports fan.

🍠 - I think he reads or daydreams when he’s bored

🍆 - He loves the scent of coffee or vanilla. He however gets a little nervous around pine scents.

🧄 - He’s lactose intolerant (he doesn’t care. He is going to eat an entire tub of ice cream and nobody can stop him.)

🥔 - Pim LOVES cooking. He likes making these cool restaurant style meals but also knows I have the palette of a little kid so he genuinely just likes seeing ppl enjoy his food more than the aesthetic

🍄‍🟫 - He’d be a unicorn. No questions about it.

the ULTIMATE f/o infodumping ask game!

(this is gonna be a long one...)

🍓 - disregarding the career your f/o currently has, what other career would they consider going into, if given the chance?

🍒 - if your f/o and you spend a day doing anything, anything at all, what would they do and why?

🍎 - what's your f/o's favorite drink? any drink, alcoholic or non alcoholic!

🍉 - is your f/o religious? what's their opinion on religion or spirituality?

🍑 - is your f/o more comfortable giving or receiving gifts? why? do they have any preferences on gifts they like receiving?

🍊 - if you asked your f/o to peel an orange for you, what would they do?

🥭 - did your f/o have stuffed animals growing up? do they still have stuffed animals? do they have a favorite?

🍍 - if you could change any one thing about your f/os backstory/character, what would you change? why?

🍌 - does your f/o have a vendetta against The Big Light™? what kind of lighting do they prefer?

🍋 - if your f/o could change one thing about themselves, what would they change and why?

🍋‍🟩 - is your f/o superstitious? is there any habits they follow or quirks they have to follow said superstitions? like not opening umbrellas indoors to avoid back luck?

🍈 - does your f/o believe in fate? do they thing everything is preplanned out by the universe or a higher power, or do they think that the idea of fate is bogus? why?

🍏 - if you have any queer headcanons for your f/o, how did they realize they were queer?

🍐 - does your f/o have any nervous ticks or idle quirks they do? like mindlessly tapping on a desk or fiddling with their hair when they're stressed?

🥝 - would your f/o ever let you do their make-up? what does their make-up process look like? is it simple? complex?

🫒 - what kind of hugger is your f/o? do they give good hugs? do they like hugs? do they like receiving hugs?

🫐 - is your f/o more of a writer or an artist? would you say your f/o is more left or right brained?

🍇 - if you and your f/o never met, what do you think your f/o would be doing right now?

🥥 - what hobbies does your f/o have? is there any hobby they would like to get into that they haven't tried out yet? what is it?

🍅 - if your f/o could buy you any gift in the world, whether it exists or not, what would they buy you? or, if they could make you something, what would it be?

🌶️ - does your f/o have any remedies they follow when they get sick? like taking a shot of whiskey to get rid of a fever?

🫚 - is your f/o a picky eater? is there any foods they will not under any circumstances, gun to their head, eat?

🥕 - when your f/o was little, did they dislike vegetables? do they still dislike them?

🧅 - what makes your f/o cry? do they get emotional at sad movies or books? do they only get emotional under very rare circumstances?

🌽 - does your f/o have a favorite animal? what is it? are they scared of any animals?

🥦 - does your f/o have any pet peeves? things that just really really get on their nerves? what are they and why?

🥒 - what's your f/o afraid of? do they have any phobias? anything minor they're scared of?

🥬 - what are some beige flags your f/o has? so, not bad, but not nessecarily good either. just. "oh. you do This."

🫛 - how does your f/o feel about pet names or nicknames? do they like them? hate them? what are their favorites and least favorites to be called and to use?

🫑 - how does your f/o feel about death? are they afraid of it? is there anything specific they'd like to do before they die?

🥑 - is there any niche topics your f/o is interested in? what are they and why do they like them?

🍠 - what are a few of your f/os favorite pastimes or things that they do when they're bored?

🍆 - does your f/o have a favorite scent? why is it their favorite? do they have a least favorite scent?

🧄 - does your f/o have any allergies? food or otherwise?

🥔 - does your f/o have any food dishes they make often? is there any foods you make for your f/o that they enjoy?

🍄‍🟫 - if your f/o could be any mythological species, what would they be? if your f/o is already a mythological species, would they ever want to be human?

I recommend practicing reblog karma ! people love infodumping about their f/os :) I also recommend sending more than one emoji at a time,,, there are Many here...!!!

[sun13koi]

Intro!

realized I don’t have one yet lol

hai!! I’m Will, nice to meet you!

my other blogs:

Roleplay blog for Koi: @pink-koi-lovejoy

Roleplay blog for Ren: @ren-has-wings

Roleplay blog for Quillis: @quillis-climbs-trees

Roleplay blog for Comet: @cxmetcxtcher

Roleplay blog for Stick: @stickwantspaws

Petre/agere blog (I’m a petre but I reblog agere stuff there too): @sunnylilpubby

Some fun lil facts:

★I play acoustic guitar 🎸 ✨

☆Golden Retriever Therian ◯⃤

I’m taken here’s my boyfriend’s acc: @l0gansab1tch

I’m trans, pan, and Aegosexual (on the ace spectrum) :D

I use He/Him/They

Fandoms:

★pjo/mcga (riordanverse)

☆Epic the Musical

★Vocaloid/pjsk

Many others I just never remember all of them

ART AND STUFFS ILL DO BY REQUEST

-ocs

-characters

-headcannons (sfw)

I HAVE THE RIGHT TO REFUSE, BUT PLS ASK ME TO DO SOME I NEED INSPO

All of my borders/blinkies/dividers come from these people! @cafekitsune @thecutestgrotto

@saradika-graphics @strangergraphics

or were screenshotted from another blog using them.

this is true for all of my other blogs as well

PEOPLE:

@lucastheidiot123 Lucas! silly man. Great cosplay, great poetry, friend :3. I don’t agree with his username, but I’m just happy he’s alive <33

@theduckwhostoleyourbread Friend! Good artist :3

@your-local-glitchy-shapeshifter man you seem cool Ty for the digital head pats

@xxpilz utterly zero posts they’re my friend tho and mean a lot to me so I’m putting them here

@someone-kill-the-ej wowzers he’s cool- also one of my earliest moots so thx for being here so long :)

@th3-p1p-th4t-d1dnt-d13 also silly friend :DD

@c0rdylin3 silly fella we need to talk more you’re so cool-

@ms-macintosh aaa! Tall but very pretty Giantess! Hush I don’t need to see photos to know that aer a very pretty personality, her personality speaks enough!

online family list to be updated when needed

IMPORTANT

Safe Space For: Furrys (sfw only please), Therians, LGBTQIAP+ members, autistic people, Age regressors (or puppy regressions), people of all age, gender, and race, and of course, all my weirdos or ‘loners’ out there. You all have a home with me <3

DO NOT INTERACT IF:

you are racist, terf, homophobic, transphobic, a purely religious blog, a purely s£x or k!nk blog, anti furry/therian, zo0phile, map/p£do, or hate any of my safe space members listed above!

PLEASE DO NOT SEND ASKS IN ASKING FOR MONEY. I am a minor, I don’t have a job, and can not donate. Sharing the posts don’t even get one note on my blog.

You can contact me through my ask box or pm me if you:

need someone to talk to

are regressed and wish for a temporary online cg

just wanna chat

want to roleplay

rants about special interests

that’s all, enjoy my page!!

[non-bee-knees]

HEYO because I can

why I think the Team Star crew originally got bullied:

Starting with:

Atticus: Neurodivergent (specifically Autism). This guy is so incredibly passionate about his samurai thing, and fashion [screams special interest]. He also keeps his face covered, even though we see it in flashbacks - me thinks this is a sensory thing

Eri: we already know that she was picked on by Carmen out of jealousy, because when Eri started, she was considered pretty and funny and well liked, right? So what could Carmen have used against her? Her build. Eri is tall, and has a strong build - this makes her appear more masculine, and thus makes a target for bullying [in the whole ‘how can she be pretty when she’s so boyish’ kinda way]

Ortega: he’s got flair for fairy types and clearly he’s got a whole aesthetic thing going on. Paired with his ‘I’ll say and do what I want, just try and stop me’ nature, and you better believe this kid was bullied for being ‘gay’.

Mela: She seems like a normal enough kid, and I think she would have suffered a lot from being purposefully left out of things, because of her nature. True to her favoured typing, she has a very aggressive and loud nature. That hasn’t made her mean or rude in any way, she’s just passionate. Unfortunately when people are too passionate about things now a days they get laughed at behind their backs and left out of things [as I write this I’m realising she could also be autistic •_•]

Giacomo: [beware this is the most headcannoned part of this because I latched onto this silly child INSTANTLY] Neurodivergent (specifically ADHD). Out of the lot he defo gives the most ‘bad kid’ vibes, in the sense where he would have gotten below average/barely average grades, would have trouble paying attention in class, brought his music everywhere and got in trouble for it, the whole jam. Unfortunately in a lot of cases, this all translates to undiagnosed ADHD with unmet needs. He would have probably been picked up by some actually Bad Kids at some point, but the once they realised he was actually nice, he would have gotten ditched. Giacomo is a genuinely sweet kid, he’s just not got the support he needs

Why his eyes like that??

Penny: 1) she’s a quiet kid, and as we find out, she’s got a quick tongue. Most likely people just kinda avoided her

2) she’s trans [I adore this headcanon]. Her writing, the whole ‘being who you are’ narrative, she the ‘new girl’ (we find out she left for a year and a bit, only to come back and no one seems to recognise her??), her Pokémon’s are all eeveelutions, a Pokemon based around the idea of adapting; on top of that her main is Sylveon, a Pokemon practically claimed by the trans community, and finally someone pointed out her hoodie, which is baggie and oversized, aka a ‘dysphoria hoodie’

ANYWAYS these are all headcannons, tho I do take most of the info from the games themselves

[thatabitcryptic]

Undertale head cannons?

Omg where to begin?!?!

I think asgore and chara were very close and loved growing plants together and having tea time :)

Majority of the main cast is autistic :))

Following that last one Flowey/asriel is particularly face blind and that’s why he mistakes frisk for chara

Uhh a pretty common one but sans and alphys are besties and they talk about space for hours,,, one of the first things they do on the surface is go stargazing :-)

Asriel and toriel used to go bug hunting based off the fact that toriel offers to take frisk when they are in the ruins,,, the whole family would also frequent blook farm and cheer on the snails, asriel would always win bc he knew just the right way to cheer his snail, chara would always lose bc they were too enthusiastic and their snail would get overwhelmed LOL

Bc of this sometimes flowey goes and hangs out with the snails and talks to napstablook despite them not know who he was

I like to think the surface is set in Aotearoa, was going to set it in Australia bc that’s where I’m from but I’ve decided that’s where I have deltarune set

Also bc of this and following the theory that sans is from deltarune and was transported to undertale sans has a slight Australian accent :o)

Frisk is mainly non verbal, tho they only really speak when on the phone (I’ve also seen ppl hc that they speak ‘with their soul’ and I really like that)

Sans and paps can understand most languages, they are fluent in nzsl and teach everyone else so they can communicate with frisk :-)

Before falling into the core gaster was semi verbal but post core he uses nzsl bc his speech has become so garbled that no one but his sons can understand him

Grillby is similar to gaster where his speech is distorted (bc he’s made of fire) but if he focuses he can say a few clear sentences like in the pacifist route

Gaster used portions of his hands to make sans and paps - his main goal was to create a being with a human soul (that’s why I draw them both as human skeletons as opposed to bird guys like gaster) so they could cross the barrier but instead he got 2 kiddos lmao (also VERY SOFT AND FULL OF CALCIUM isn’t completely just papyrus being silly, at certain times of the year he and sans get that baby bird fluff on the surface of their bones, it comes off pretty easily tho so it’s not really noticeable)

Undyne and paps are gay lesbian solidarity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Frisk doesn’t really understand their gender yet and bc they are so young they describe it based on their surroundings, after entering papyrus’ room and seeing his do not enter signs when asked for their gender they reply ‘papyrus’ <- idk where that one came from I remember seeing a post about it but I love it to bits

After their plan failed chara’s ‘spirit’ went dormant until frisk arrived, they have no idea what happened to asriel but after the neutral route (after flowey says he doesn’t understand why frisk is sparing him) they start to really recognise that flowey is in some way somehow asriel

Mettaton overheats when he is embarrassed/flustered and his internal fans are very loud LOL

Chara and asriel’s combined soul is gone, I feel like after souls are ‘used’ they fade away - the same happens to the human souls after flowey/asriel absorbs them

Toriel, asgore and gaster are old af and have been around since the barrier was created (ummm thousand year kingdings slow burn anyone?? SJDNDJJDNX)

Undyne is like asgores daughter and asgore is sometimes reminded of chara bc of how outgoing and determined they both are :-)

When they get to the surface toriel teaches papyrus how to cook ‘properly’ but some of his habits brush off on her instead lol

I’ve probably got more but here are the ones that popped into my head!!!

[ceddar-cheez]

I’ve come around to the astral scene now after playing it for reals and not just looking up the cutscene on YouTube. After hearing how he describes what that meant in some negative-path dialogue (like cheating on him) it’s not really so performative. It was more or less them having sex with their souls enabled by magic. He’s calling you his soul mate by clapping your soul’s cheeks.

I too saw that autism take and the sensory one and I thought it was very thought provoking but ultimately there is no evidence that Gale has any sensory issues. Or like negative reactions to sensory input. I 100% subscribe to him being autistic because he acts just like my friend. I’ll list my evidence in a second but ultimately he can be autistic and also a fully down to clown. If someone wants to comb through and collect evidence that he has sensory issues I would absolutely love to see it.

Gale is autistic in that he is so remarkably upfront about what he wants and means that even Tav can comment on it. He says “I’m many things but not coy” and yeah autistic people communicate incredibly directly. When he says he wants to show you a magic trick - he literally just shows you a magic trick. He’s fucking SURPRISED it turns romantic (mostly for self esteem reasons I think tho). When he’s down to clown he just tells you. Being coy would be a masking behavior I think, I’ve just been told it’s really annoying to make a dance of it. There’s also his infodumping like it very much feels like listening to Brennan Lee Mullagin doing some fun fact dump as a DM. He has Brennan vibes and I love that man

Anyway I think both routes should be treated as completely valid. Cause TO BE FAIR when you first say “hey I don’t need to be impressed” he doesn’t say “I want to feel you like this” as a positive bid toward the astral sex - but rather he goes “are you sure? I could wow you”. Like then that just reinforced my initial thought that you were a high achieving burnout that thought they could only be loved when they did their super talent. Yah know, kinda like how a God of magic might only love someone while they preformed magic. 👀

And then later he says the thing about “to be loved for the man I am and not the power I wield - none have loved me so purely” like triples down on that initial thought. He says that line either way but it kinda feels out of place after choosing astral. But! I think both options can and should be treated as equally valid. There are a lot of routes like that with Astarion but the other guys have no where near the amount of dynamic options

I just want more and if I gotta pay for DLC god dammit it will. Like the Mass Effect citadel DLC. And I want more silly goofy wizard man

Ok I have a minor gripe about Gale’s big romance night. Absolute spoilers because I’m just gunna brain vomit. I love this nerdy wizard a lil too much

So! I’m kinda peeved about how the choice to indulge Gale in magic sex has a lot more detail and effort than wanting to connect with him as a mortal in mortal flesh. You don’t even get naked when you choose mortal sex. It’s so disappointing because it feels like I made ‘the lame choice’ that they didn’t bother finishing and that undermines a big theme in his romance (or how I’m playing it)

I rolled a Barbie Bard so “love your true self!” is like central to the role play. So of course Barbie pushes that she loves him for his personality and not impressive tricks. But then if you go that route Gale is like ‘eh well if you wanna do it the old way then sure’. Like no no no Gale this is can be just as sensual as the other stuff… if not more really. The point is to empty your mind and be present in every part of your body. I used to overthink during sex (ADHD related) and it became a whole other level when I got out of my head. And like what is that magic sex if not Gale thinking reeeeaally hard?

Really I think the astral projection sex isn’t as amazing as he hypes it up to be. I mean just think, he says he hadn’t been with a mortal since being with Mystra and that relationship lasted a while (for how I interpreted it). I don’t think he’s had sex in his body in a long time. Cause Mystra doesn’t have a body, the astral sex would be fulfilling, but for Gale I can’t help noticing he left something behind

Himself

His whole body

That thing that feels touch and heat and pain

I think this illustrates what I think it feels like:

A tiktok woman (StruggleCare) was in labor and it was long and rough. She was in the hospital hooked up to an IV that was keeping her hydrated but she wasn’t allowed to eat or drink anything in case they needed to do an emergency c-section. Her body was hydrated, but after so many hours she was begging for water to get rid of her awful thirst. Something about the experience of feeling water in your mouth is important to tell your brain it’s not in danger. (They did give her water and her birth went fine, just in case you wondered how this particular tale ended)

I feel like Gale’s “ascended” sex is like that IV. He’s been parched for so long that he doesn’t notice the thirst.

But here comes Barbie Bard and this man tripping over himself saying how he likes her musk. In the shadowlands he stops you to make a comment about how hot you look fighting and sweating.

Mystra doesn’t have a musk. Nor does she sweat.

So really the question is… when was the last time he was actually touched more than on the hands? I wanted to see that touched-starved desperation. I just love the idea Barbie Bard took a man with his head in the stars and fucked him back to his own humanity.

Very Hozier if I do say so. I like the theme of finding salvation in human after being failed by a god with unobtainable expectations. (Mystra and God god aren’t 1-to-1 so not perfect fit)

Anyway I don’t know where I’m going with this except I guess it’s time to bust out Procreate. I wanna hear other’s thoughts on this too

[kabutone]

oughg wxs headcanons

disclaimer i havent read ALL of the stories yet (i’ve read the main ones but not all the side stories n events and stuff) so if some of this is already confirmed or not idk 

- I like to think tsukasa plays w the kids after the shows.... since he’s usually the main prince character, i’m sure all the kids love him, so i like to think after the show ends he comes out to the front to play w the kids, and im sure they would love him. and the way he took care of saki’s bunny plushie in the sekai oughgh he’s so good at just cheering people up ,, like he probably comes across a fair amount of children just having a bad day in the park and he’s able to make them feel better and enjoy their time at phoenix wonderland

- semi related to the last point, and probably goes without saying, but i feel like tsukasa’s REALLY good at improv. i know he kinda got caught really off guard in the main storyline show, but like we see with the bunny plushie from the sekai, he’s good at coming up with things on the fly. since it seems like prince pegasus is his default character that he goes to, he probably knows it pretty well so it’s easy for him to assume that role and just start acting 

- i feel like as wxs becomes a more popular group in phoenix wonderland, they become more well known throughout the park. so like, yknow when you’re at disney or something and the kids see a character walking around and get excited? i feel like its kind of like that, the kids would see one of the members of the troupe and get excited and want to talk to them. especially after their show went viral (after the most recent event) i’m sure they’d be recognized around town too

- this is semi canon cause we’ve seen it in a lot of stories but . tsukasa talks to himself so much sdflksj but i feel like its to the point where he like narrates his day in his head

- ive only seen a little bit of emu with her family (from the event) but i feel like she’s much more quiet and less active around them. not cause she can’t be silly around them or something, like she’s still kinda silly around her brothers, but yknow how you act different around your friends than your parents? like even if you’re close with your family, you still behave a little better and make different jokes than you would with your friends? i think she does that it’s just a lot more drastic than most people cause her default with her friends is like being very loud and bouncing off the walls lol she’s still active and high energy with her family, but just to a more controlled, more tame degree. i think she’s decently close with her family tho. not as close as like, tsukasa and saki, i don’t think they’re like best friends but she’s got a good relationship with all of them

- i think rui and nene still hang out the most one on one rather than with the entire group. like i feel like the wxs troupe doesn’t have a Lot of time to hang out outside of shows, like they all seem kinda busy? they rehearse together regularly tho so they Do hang out together like All the time, but i mean like non-show related, just hanging out together as friends. i feel like they’re mostly just too busy to get the whole group together on non-rehearsal days most of the time. but rui and nene, being neighbors and childhood friends, probably hang out a lot on their own 

- also they r all autistic <3

pls add ur own i want to know ur thoughts

[januarymoreau]

alright so I know literally no one cares about this but it’s my social media I’m doing what I want /lh

I’ve been seeing a lot of slander about justin russo on the internet lately and I’m currently hyperfixated on wizards of waverly place so here’s why justin is an awesome character/doesn’t deserve the hate he gets

He’s kind and treats those he loves well. Justin is canonically really good at comforting people. Although he argues with Alex a lot, at the end of the day, he’s also her older brother and genuinely cares about her. When Professor Crumbs threatens to take Alex’s magic away because she doesn’t turn her report card in, Justin says that Crumbs will also have to take his magic away. Justin is ultimately selfless. We see again and again the sacrifices he makes for Alex and I think we mainly see his kindness in that relationship. Despite that, I think he’s also notably kind to Juliet. When he finds out that he made the mistake of reporting Juliet and her parents, he instantly tries to fix it. Not only does he try to fix it, but he puts his job as Monster Hunter in jeopardy for Juliet and her parents - her parents haven’t even been that nice to him. Justin is ultimately selfless and at the end of the day, he sacrifices himself or what he wants for others. When Rosie turns back into a good angel, instead of selfishly continuing to date her and keeping her in the mortal world (which he could have done - she literally offers to stay with him), he gives her up because he realizes the world needs a guardian angel more than he needs a girlfriend. Even though it hurts because he loved her, he gives her up. There’s no “award” for doing this - he won’t move up a level in the wizard competition, he really won’t get any recognition for giving Rosie up. He doesn’t even get any recognition for turning the moral compass back to good. He does it because it’s the right thing to do. Although later I’ll argue that Justin is constantly seeking validation, I also think that the heroic/good things he does are often done with no expectation of being praised for it. He does them because he has a strong sense of morals. He’s also kind to Harper, Zeke, his parents, and even Max, who people rarely ever show kindness to in the show.

He’s in touch with his emotions. When the show starts, Justin is very against anything that will show him as feminine or emotional. In fact, he even says he’s allergic to emotions (or something like that) to cover for the fact that he’s crying over his missing dog. As the show goes on, we see Justin start to embrace and accept his emotions more and to lose touch with his toxic masculinity. I think dating Juliet changed him in a lot of ways (making him more relaxed, etc), and I think one was encouraging him to be more emotional. After Wizards vs. Vampires, Justin is pretty emotional and open about his emotions in the show. He’s even open with talking about them. In the movie, he opens up to Alex about how he feels like Jerry & Theresa wouldn’t love him as much if he were less “perfect,” which brings me to my next point.

At the end of the day, Justin is a sad character. I know it’s a kid’s show but they really do cover a lot of issues so bear w me. I’m hyperfixated and I like to over analyze shows so I’ve thought about this a lot. Justin is the oldest, which means he already deals with pressure to be perfect. Then, add in the fact that his parents are constantly describing him as the “perfect child” and putting him on a pedestal, while pitting the kids against each other as a result of the wizard culture bc of the family competition (I love Jerry & Theresa but they’re not perfect). He’s also a high achiever and we know he puts extreme pressure on himself to do well - they always make a joke about it but it’s actually quite sad. He literally feels poorly about himself when he gets a B and bases his entire self worth on his grades and skills as a wizard. In fact, in the movie he voices doubt about whether or not he’s good at anything other than magic. I have a few things I want to say about all of this. First of all, I think Justin is constantly seeking validation. I think as the oldest and “best” child, he feels the need to be perfect all the time, but he also does many of the things he does because he just wants validation. When Harper decides to run a marathon, Justin does too, and sadly his accomplishment of finishing it is overshadowed by Harper “winning.” I also think Justin feels threatened by the success of others because he thinks it invalidates his. When he opens up to Alex in the movie, he says that he’s jealous of her because it seems like everything comes naturally to her. Justin feels as if his parents loving his siblings takes away from their love from his. It’s irrational, but very real. Which brings me to my next point - Justin has generalized anxiety disorder. It makes sense - the overthinking, the outbursts he has (Alex refers to it as a conniption once) of panic or frustration, the overachieving, etc. As someone who probably has autism, I also think he’s autistic (which would explain his troubles with tone, struggle making friends, obsessions with things like Captain Jim Bob Sherwood and science, being better w robots than people, and so much more).

Ultimately, Justin has a strong moral backbone. Although he’s a stickler for the rules and this oftentimes leads him to do bad things initially, he always does the right thing in the end. For example, when Justin and Alex go to court and Justin duplicates himself to be his lawyer, his lawyer ultimately proves that Justin is guilty; he even says something along the lines of “We’re Justin Russo. We always do what’s moral and just.” Justin has a strong sense of justice (which could also be from being autistic but I could do a whole other post about neurodivergency coding in WOWP and Disney & Nick shows overall bc there’s a ton of coding) and does what he thinks is right, most of the time. Sure, sometimes he does bad things, but he’s also a teenager at the end of the day and he’s highly competitive.

Finally, Justin Russo is super progressive - in fact, he’s probably the most progressive characters of the show. He acknowledges climate change and actively tries to create a solution for it. In fact, for his science fair project he makes a water powered engine, which would reduce carbon emissions. He also wears a shirt at one point that says “Make art not war.” I will admit that his biases against the werewolf he dated were problematic, but he clearly grew from that because he never held any of that against Mason. He’s also into science and is a nerd and although this is a stereotype, most young people who are into science and are nerds are progressive. I’m pretty sure he also is well aware of current events and would probably read the newspaper. Also I myself headcanon Justin as trans and bi (again could make another post about characters in wowp that are queer)

Little note even tho probably no one will see this - this is all just for fun. If you disagree with anything I said, just say it politely hahsh. Also please don’t make fun of me for this WOWP is a huge hyperfixation and comfort thing for me rn and I just wanted to make a silly little post where I analyze one of my comfort characters. Also I kin Justin so pls don’t like hate on him in the comments.

[multifairyus]

okay @cqcophobiq inspired me to be brave and stop camping out in the tags. I’m a real stream of consciousness kinda gal so hopefully this makes sense and not *too* rambly! Ahem:

🔥🔥🔥AUTISTIC HOBIE RIGHTS 🔥🔥🔥

This makes SO much sense @gutsygremlin! The fact that being cisn't is is very common for neurodivergent people also makes me nod vigously to this post. Hobie Brown is built different. Blackness, queerness, and neurodivergent paint such a specific picture for the type of person you end up being and how you interact with the world.

I got formally peer reviewed and therapist referred for autism like, last week?Also never masked—what you see is what you get. And since I didn’t KNOW something was “wrong” with me, I didn’t realize how bold of a statement I was making by simply being myself. Subconsciously for 25 years I’ve more or less communicated to people “…oh, am i not picking up on cues and making social faux pas? You want me to get back in the kitchen and cook up another personality/demeanor for you? This ain’t build a bitch hoe. What you see is what you get.” And it wasn’t intentional, but makes me a very polarizing person! I really relate to the concept “autistic rizz” (charisma). Tons of it—harder to realize i had symptoms cuz i love people! However, with autistic rizz comes autistic “puls”, (repulsion).

So, brining it back to Hobie being autistic and it’s like…yes he’s already cool but so much cooler cuz even without a diagnosis or peer reviewing, he knew he was polarizing, thought different. I feel like being a tall, darkskinned person with very afrocentric features set him up to be “intimidating” and gawked at WITHOUT the punk aesthetics. This wonderful Tik Tok by Chris Whoa talked about how he felt cosplaying Hobie. He felt empowered because Hobie “doubles down” on taking up space being black and alternative, and that people who would treat him differently/get scared off by his aesthetic aren’t people he needs around him anyway. If him being himself is repulsive, in his own words…”Good.” And to baby autist me that’s SUCH an inspiration like wow 🥺 that said, while we’re talking about masking…people have pointed out that Hobie a lot more animated/upbeat/physically affectionate in his suit whereas with his mask off, he’s more reserved and serious. Huh. Imagine that…

Onto the gender bit: I saw non-binary Hobie a mile away. The fuck does that man looking like adhering to not just gender roles but the concept all around? I think he'd be annoyed at how the term “non-binary” is being treated like a third gender rather than a category, and thus just another label. But in general? Yeah fuck that binary shit.

That said personall, regardless of if he’d define himself as such…I get gender-fluid/genderflux vibes from him. Obviously, you don't need fashion as a way to express gender. But I think Hobie could and would.

He has SO much gender?? Genderful even! Why I love AUs/headcannons/timelines where he has the time/housing stability to have an interest in fashion and makeup and playing with expectations. he's so pretty and handsome like if a man and a woman had a baby 🥰

I wish people stop overemphasizing the one “punk” trait from Hobie…because forcing all of his fashion and music etc to be ONLY punk is not punk and I for one adore the inconsistency he swears by. If we can’t pin down a gender for him how can you pin down a genre you can’t, exactly.

Hobie is such a silly goofy guy tho. Like he’s absolutely the type of queer to, when asked for pronouns or how he identifies, say something like this:

“”Gender?” Y’need me to put a little sticker on m’ forehead of what I am so you can work out what it “means” when y’get an eyeful of all this, yeah? Cute! All you *actually* need to know if that you're into me you are not straight. Yup. Don’t make the rules—don’t believe in them actually. But that rule is the most help you’ll get from me to figure that out. Not my problem l'm universally appealing innit?”

i want some more heavily analytical headcanons of Hobie brown (from black queer ppl)

what are ur thoughts. give them to me

[littlemoondarlingarts]

Unfortunately it happened

A short story about two of my ocs that I've been writing for a while, please read the trigger warnings carefully before proceeding to the story.

Genre: magical realism with hints of psychological horror.

Word count: 4293 words.

Tw: Abuse, domestic abuse, past abuse, ptsd, hallucinations, claustrophobic scenes, blood, glass shards, mild sexual scene, possible sexual assault, disrespecting the boundaries of an autistic child, abandonment issues.

If there are any more possible trigger warnings that I didn't write, please let me know.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

The thick warm blood irregularly dripped onto the rotting floor as Theodore tried to wrestle out the large glass shard that was lodged deep in his skull. He knew that pulling it out would only cause him to bleed more, but he had no other choice, his body just wouldn't heal around it. It's not like he could even go to a hospital. They ask questions there. Too many questions. He hissed in pain, fingers slipping over the smooth, wet surface, making the job ten times harder than what it already was.

Fear and pain overwhelmed his senses to the point where he couldn't even hear the squeaks of the wooden planks that normally annoyed him to no end. He only noticed that someone was in the small room with him when a pair of tiny pale feet stopped right infront of him.

"Stay back baby, there's glass on the floor." He let his hand fall down, the stubborn shard finally dislodged from his forehead, "Go back to your room, I'm okay." The obvious lie slipped through his blooded lips like smooth butter, if there was something Theodore excelled exceptionally at, it was lying with confidence so great that you would believe him over your very own eyes.

"Why don't you stop him?" Fran asked meekly, shoulders tense and lips pouty, his fingers fidgeting with the hem of his favourite shirt violently enough to tear the delicate embroidery his dad had spend countless hours on.

Theodore lifted his head, his tired eyes taking in the heart wrenching sight of the boy he grew to call his son. Fran's whole body was trembling, his small fingers red and bruised from unconsciously fighting with the thread, his nose was swollen, the skin around his eyes was puffy. It was clear as day that the little boy had been crying for a while now.... probably since the fight started.

"Franny," Theo started softly, "I'm alright now. It's over, okay? Just go to your room, I'll follow you in a bit. Promise."

But the little vampire didn't budge, his cold feet planted firmly on the floor, lips forming a thin line accompanied by a deep frown barely hidden by loose white curls. Theodore sighed, he wanted so badly to hold his son's hands and carry him back to his room like he did every night before, but he was scared if he'd moved even an inch more he'd tear his shirt even further, revealing more bruises and cuts, subsequently traumatizing the boy more. So he stayed put.

"Why don't you stop him?" Fran repeated.

"Baby you know I-"

"WHY DON'T YOU STOP HIM?!"

The abrupt outburst took Theodore by surprise, making him flinch back on the bed. His wide blue eyes were chaotic as they searched the smaller one's face for any ounce of sympathy. It was silly, really, to be looking for such emotions in a clearly overwhelmed and traumatized kid, but Theo couldn't help himself, couldn't help the fear that was eating away at him, one angry word at a time.

"I know you can, Teddy. You used to stand up to daddy! And he was a VAMPIRE!" Fran said with a bit of pride in his voice, "You know what? I think we should go back to living with him! Maybe Elliot is waiting for us there! And the-"

"Elliot left. He isn't waiting for us anywhere, he doesn't want us anymore." Theodore shrunk back to himself when he noticed the amount of venom in his voice, "Besides Franny, you know I'll never let him hurt you. I'll never let anyone hurt you." He tried giving the most reassuring smile he could muster with the dull ache in his bruised cheeks.

Fran was silent for a long, dreadful second before hot tears raced down his face, "You can't even protect yourself..."

That sentence was like a punch to the gut. He never thought about the consequences that their constant fighting had on his son. He thought, no, he made himself believe that as long as Fran was in no immediate physical danger, everything was okay. It almost frightened him just how much he was willing to ignore and sweep under the rug just to let himself feel like a good father.

"I don't feel safe here... I'm scared." Fran sniffled, "I'm scared that one day I'll wake up and-and find you dead!" It was getting harder for the little vampire to speak as the tears kept flowing, "Or.. or  that you would... would just leave me here like Elliot did... or.. or yo-" violent sobs wrecked his body, forbidding him from finishing his sentence.

Theodore was lost. He promised Rouge and Elliot.. fuck those two, he promised himself that he would give Fran the best life possible, and yet here he is... shaking and wailing helplessly... He needed to do something, and he needed to do it fast. But what? What could he do?

What would dad have done? Dad wouldn't let himself be in this fucking situation. But if he was ... what would he have done?? Theodore's hands were now shaking uncontrollably as he tried to think of an answer. He would've pulled me close. Held me tight in his arms and told me that he'll keep me safe no matter what. That everything will be okay. Yes. Yes... that's what he would've done.

And so he reached forward, taking the now bloodied tiny hands in his and pulling Fran into his arms, holding the sobbing boy as tight as he could.

But the truth is. What his father would've done is vastly different that what Theodore should've done. Because in that moment of pure loss and desperation, he forgot one crucial detail... Fran can't handle being touched. Especially not being hugged.

Fran yanked himself backwards with powers unnatural to him, his body was sent flying until he hit the floor with a loud thud that almost made Theodore's heart stop, but to the boy, anything was better then being held like that.

"Franny... I'm so sorry... I forgo-" Before he could finish his sentence, the vampire was on his feet and running out the room. His loud footsteps quickly fading into nothingness before the deafening slam of a door shook the old house to it's core.

Theodore let himself fall back on the bed, sending small dust particles flying all over him and irritating his allergies. He quickly placed a hand over his nose to stop himself from inhaling any of that dust, he can't afford having his brains ooze out his wounds if he sneezed.

His eyes closed before he could decide otherwise. It's okay... it will be okay.. he'd probably gone to bed now, I should do that too. Tomorrow will be different, it will be better, I'll make some scrambled eggs and bacon.. wait no, Fran is a vegetarian you idiot, he doesn't eat that shit!... fuck. I can make uh... grilled cheese sandwiches.. yeah he'll surely like that....

But deep down Theodore knew that he isn't a kid that can go to bed when he is tired or in pain anymore, he is an adult now, with a kid of his own and all the responsibilities that come with it..

The obnoxious sound of the sports channel blaring from the living room and the rhythmic pouring of rain on the window along with phantom barking of a distant dog were like a hammer smashing into Theodore's head over and over again. Every little sound was cranked up to a hundred, even his own heartbeating was agonizing.

He forced his body to sit back up, becoming face to face with the long mirror nailed to the wall which seemed to be closing in on him. Theodore instinctively pushed himself backwards until his back hit the cold wall as the room began fold in on itself until the mirror was nearly touching his feet. He wrapped his arms around his body in an attempt to ground himself as his claustrophobia kicked in and his breathing quickened to a painful degree.

He forced his eyes shut, trying to focus on anything but the walls that were now touching every inch of him. And his thoughts drifted back to the only place they could... Is it possible Franny is scared like this now? He feels unsafe.. he said that himself.. I can't just leave him alone in his room until the next sunset... that's not what dad would've done.. that's..that's what mom did... leave me alone and ignore me when I needed her most then pretend nothing happened the next day... that's what I was going to do...

The thought made his eyes shoot open only to be faced with her image in the mirror, blue eyes staring down at him with familiar disappointment. His blood boiled. He is becoming her! Repeating the cycle of neglectful abuse and torment until noone survives. In a moment of blind rage he balled his fist and swiftly moved to shatter the mirror and all the pain it was causing, but he found himself slammed to the floor, bloody knuckles causing a dent in it... it seems as tho the wall was still as far away as it always had been.

He stayed there for a moment, tears pouring down unapologetically as he tried to compose himself. He soon found enough willpower to stand up, but before he could take a step forward, sharp pain shot up straight to his head, forcing him to grab onto the nearest wall for balance.

Once the pain dulled down enough for him to be able to open his eyes, he looked down at the apparent source, only to see that his right ankle had doubled in size, blue and swollen as if there was a tennis ball underneath the skin. He rested the back of his head on the window, feeling the cold droplets of rain leaking through and falling on his cheeks.

He sighed, he would heal, he always did. But it would take time, and unlike Silas, this fucker never cared for him after beating him up. Theodore chuckled to himself, never in a million years did he think he would use Silas as a positive example for anything, goes to show just how low his life had sunk.

Nevertheless, he needs to persist, not for himself but for the little vampire that depended on him.

He thought about taking a quick shower to wash off all the blood, but something told him not to, to just check on Fran as soon as possible, and Theodore's gut feeling had never failed him before, so he always followed it, even if he knew that his son was safe in his bed, wrapped in a fluffy blanket that Theo had spent all his money on. He smiled, remembering how Franny's eyes twinkled when he first saw the bee pattern on it. Oh how he wishes he would see him this happy every second of every day.

Still smiling, he managed to take off the ripped shirt without aggravating his injuries too much. He held the black tee in his hands, staring at the bright neon pink "Angel♡" written on it in a metal font with the white signature of the singer along the neck.

He got this shirt 2 years back when he went to the live performance, Angel wasn't even the main performer back then, they were merely the opening act. Given how small they were, they didn't have a signing booth, it was actually pure luck that Theodore managed to meet them outside while they were waiting for a taxi.

And he thought that Rouge was tall! Angel was at least eight feet, to the point where he felt like a little cat after cranking his neck up so high just to be able to see their face, and what a truly terrifying face it was! Almost nightmarish with their black bug eyes and their long pointy teeth! But they were nice, maybe a bit blunt and lacking a social filter, but after being with Fran for a while, Theodore got used to unwanted comments... wait.. Fran... now THAT is what he was here to do!

He immediately put his favourite shirt down on a nearby wooden chair, promising to fix the rip the moment he can carry something as delicate as a needle without his hands shaking and dropping it, he threw on an oversized sweater that used to belong to Elliot, a pair of ghost patterned pyjama pants and made his way to the corridor.

Theodore was still grabbing onto the walls as he limbed his way to the door covered in stickers, it was slightly ajar which was strange considering that Fran had slammed it, but with how rusted the hinges are, anything is possible. He slowly pushed the door open, peering into the dark room, noticing how the moonlight softly illuminated the blanket-covered lump on the bed.

He should be happy? Maybe relieved? But instead, all he could feel is the bile rising to his throat, and he just couldn't tell why, perhaps he was just anxious about the impending talk. Yes. It must be that.

Theodore slowly stepped toward the small bed, feeling the mattress sink under his weight as he sat on it. "Hey Franny..." no answer, "It's me Teddy," again, nothing. He sighed, rubbing his hand over his aching neck, "listen I came here to apologise, and I... are you asleep??" He pulled down the blanket only to see that it was only a group of plushies in the vague shape of a kid.

Adrenaline shot through his body making him forget all about his pain and injuries as he quickly opened the closet, looked under the bed, tore the covers from the bed. Yet.... Fran is nowhere to be seen.

"FRAN!" Theodore yelled at the top of his lungs, "FRAAAANN!" He stood aimlessly in the little room filled with the missing boy's trinkets and drawings, his breath so fast he could hear it as he impatiently waited for an answer, "Baby where are you?!"

He could feel the little plushies staring at him, knowing where his baby is but not telling him, they don't want Fran to go back to being with such a horrible father. Theodore grabbed his son's favourite one, a large fluffy bee he had won for him during a passing carnival. He forcefully held it, his fingers smearing the blood all over the bright yellow as he shook it back and forth in the air.

"Where is he goddamn it! Where is he?" He screamed over and over again at the defenseless bee.

To anyone passing by, this seems like complete and utter madness, a father interrogating a stuffed animal instead of searching the whole house for his missing son? But to Theodore in the moment, it made sense. These plushies were the closest to the little vampire, they know his secrets and feelings more than Theo ever apparently did. So it must be obvious that they would be the ones knowing where his precious baby would be.

"I know you know! So just tell me!" His voice broke as a pained sob took over him, making him hold onto the door handle as his knees seemed to buckle under him. "I'll make it better... I swear.."

"He went out you crazy bitch!" The familiar gruff voice came from the living room, it was naturally loud enough to drown out everything else, even the news channel. Or perhaps that was just Theodore's mind only focusing on what matters to him, whichever case it was, he heard it loud and clear.

"What?" He whispered, soft and almost silent; like a deer caught in headlights, he couldn't move a single muscle in his body. He was painfully aware of this, too; the fact that he is just. Sitting. There. Like a useless piece of shit. His brain screamed at him to 'MOVE IT YOU FUCKER! MOVE!' But his body was almost paralyzed, unable to do anything, not even blink.

It may have taken mere seconds to get up and be in the living room, but it felt like years. Years of him being useless and worthless.

He ran down the short corridor.

He ran.

And ran.

And ran.

And with every step, the corridor seemed to stretch further and further, the end feeling more like a mirage as countless doors strung on the walls. Screams were erupting from behind them, defeaning and terrifying. A minute of thinking would've made him recognize the voice as Fran's, and this was one of the many instances where he regretted ever doing that. Theodore shut his eyes, covering his ears with his hands and just ran forward like a fish in the deep dark ocean where the sun can't reach.

"What do you mean?" His voice was erratic when he finally made it to the living room, gripping the worn down sofa that his "boyfriend" was sitting calmly on, as if a kid isn't out in the dark and rain all on his own.

"He's just breathing some air after all that shit you caused!" The man turned to look at him, "You think I didn't hear all that? Well news flash baby, I have ears."

His absolute nonchalance about the whole thing was irritating Theodore to no end, and Theodore wore his emotions on his sleeves. His eyes darkened dangerously as he almost felt himself growl, but he had to control himself as that would definitely get him another beer bottle to the head.

The man chuckled softly, putting his large hand on top of Theodore's much tinier one, "You're too worried about him, Francis is-"

"Fran." He corrected in a low, deep voice.

"Whatever, same thing. Point is, he is a little man now! If he wants to go out and calm his nerves after you wrecked them, then let him!" He smiled, trying to pull the shorter man towards him, but he didn't budge. "Listen baby, you need to give him some time to work out his emotions, stop getting in his business you little helicopter!"

The man pulled again, this time successfully getting the half dissociated Theodore around the sofa and onto his lap. When he said it like that.... it almost made sense. Fran isn't eight and he really was hurt by all that Theo had done tonight and most nights before that, he does need some time to process all that. Or maybe that was just his way of feeling less guilty, believing that this is just a natural reaction rather than face the fact that his son's terrible immune system won't handle the cold and rain.

"That's right baby," the man held Theodore close, and like a moth to flame he leaned into it, craving any sort of affection and sympathy, "calm down now," his rough hands gently petted Theo's curls which were now matted with a mixture of blood, bear and sweat, "it's all okay," He moved his hand down, moving over Theodore's back in slow and rhythmic circles. "Daddy's here," testing his luck, the man moved his hand further down and gripped Theodore's buttocks firmly.

This sent reality crushing down on the poor man, this isn't okay. Nothing about a frail and sickly eleven year old kid being alone outside in the raining night in a place surrounded with dangerous wildlife is okay. No matter how hard he wants to shake the guilt off. How hard he wants to lean into this rare moment of gentleness. He can't. Not when his son is all alone. Not in a million years.

Theodore placed his hands on his boyfriend's large chest and pushed himself off his lap, getting to his feet as quickly as he can without losing his balance and running to the door as if he is a prisoner that just found the keys.

"Well fuck you too slut! I never wanted your trashy ass anyway! Go get eaten by wolves! You and your annoying ass kid!"

But Theodore had already made it outside and started the long process of running around aimlessly and yelling Fran's name at the top of his lungs. After thoroughly running through the front yard, he took a deep freezing breath and made his way into the surrounding woods where the fading moonlight didn't reach.

He quickly lit up the lighter, the rain putting out the flame before he could do anything, so he bent down, wrapping his body around it like a deer would to her fawn, and tried lighting it up again. The small flame persisted long enough for it to turn blue and be transferred onto Theodore's palm.

He extended the demonic flame infront of his face, making his eyes twinkle with otherworldly lights, he was hoping that animals would find it's strange color intimidating rather than inviting, and that Fran would recognize it as his and find him. Clearly too much faith in a silly little flame, even if it is magical in nature.

Theodore's feet got sliced and bruised by the rocks and thorns on the ground, but nevertheless he persisted, his dark fingers gripping the ancient trunks for dear life, not caring about the skin being scratched and peeled off if them.

He opened his mouth to yell for his boy, "Fraaan.." he coughed, hoping that his voice would come back, "Fra.... fuck me." His voice was gone, almost completely after the endless screaming and yelling he did this night, both while searching for Fran and the big fuckin fight that had happened before.

With no voice to speak of, Theodore felt... weak. He couldn't yell for Fran and the hope that the boy would see the flame on his own and follow it is... statistically very low. He was defeated. He failed himself, his father, Fran... everyone that can be failed.

He made his way out of the forest, he had already searched the surrounding area on foot. He had the small tiny twinkle of hope that Fran had made his way back home alone, that he really was just breathing some air. That he is now safe and cuddled underneath the blanket. Safe. And sound.

Theodore stood infront of the closed door. Body shaking from the cold rain and pain, he stood there for a while, just letting the tears silently fall down, not daring to go inside and face the truth.

"Teddy?" A small familiar voice echoed in his head, making him smile a little. He had been first given that nickname by his mom, but now that Franny used to call him that, it no longer feels... humiliating. It feels warm and comfortable, it feels like a purpose and having someone that depends on you and trusts you.

"Teddy!" The small voice came again, this time angrier, like a tiny kitten's hiss.

Is it possible that this.. isn't in Theodore's head? That Fran was actually yelling for him?

He tore his eyes away from the door and looked around, and sure enough, he easily spotted the head of white fluffy hair struggling to get out of under his boyfriend's car.

Theodore rushed to help his son get out without being scratched or injured, he held the boy's tiny hands and pulled slowly, stopping to fluff down his shirt to make the sliding easier. Once his bottom was out, his short legs were an easy task.

"Thank gawd! I thought I was gonna be stuck under there forever! Or that that bastard was gonna drive tomorrow and I'll become tomato paste!" The little boy was flailing his arms around as he spoke, finally settling for a dramatic break as while saying "tomato paste!"

He tried keeping himself composed, he really did, slowly stroked his son's curls, but quickly enough Theodore crumbled. Exhaustion, pain and all that worry that he was barely holding, finally broke him. He hid his face behind his hands as he cried uncontrollably. His drenched shoulders shaking with each painful sob.

"Teddy?" Fran asked worriedly, his soft voice kept quiet as if Theodore was a rabbit that he didn't want to scare off. "Why are you crying?"

It might seem like a stupid question given the circumstances, and if it was anyone else, Theodore would've given them the deathglare. But he knew that Franny genuinely couldn't understand the consequences of actions, wether they were his own or others. So he simply sniffled and smiled as bright as he could, resuming to fluff up his baby's hair.

Fran's face scrunched up as if he had tasted a lemon, his soft features all grouping in the middle of his face. But he didn't mind this, not really, he just found it fun to do this face because he doesn't get to often. And Theodore knows this, they spoke about this before... before this..  him.

"I wanna sleeeeeeeeeeep." Fran whined while pouting, earning him an honest chuckle from his dad.

Theodore opened his arms as his son jumped up, landing perfectly on his waiting shoulder. Fran swung his feet, accidentally hitting his father's chest a few times, not too many times tho as he was doing his absolute best to avoid it. But that swinging was making it harder for Theo to safely stand up, but he made do and made his way back indoors carrying his son like a sack of potatoes, which is the only way Franny likes to be held.

Deep in his mind, Theodore knew that this won't be the end of this abusive relationship, he was too dependent, too afraid of being abandoned and left alone to leave. But the cracks were only becoming more and more prominent, and hell was knocking on their door.

[ghostofcitrus]

more gender crisis bc i need somewhere to document this shit and also if u wanna read and say smth that’s cool too 🥺 fair warning it’s kinda longgg. but there’s a tl;dr and i tried to make the paragraphs short so it’s easy to read and i sorted the thoughts by paragraphs

ok so when i see a girl or group of girls or smth i, for the most part, am like yeah same. i have the same lived experience and like yeah u look cool and i relate in a lot of ways.

but like i also feel the same w non-binary ppl. i see agender ppl and i’m like oh nice that sounds like how i want to live MY life!! i get jelous. i saw a gender ambiguous person the other day and i thouvht i was going to lose my mind i was like AKSJSHJSJSNS Y O U. I WANT TO BE YOU. i talked to them i was like 😭😭i love your hair😭😭 and it was so compelling just seeing them i got my hair cut later that week. i like it.

and i cut my hair and i’m like y e s. and i’ve always wanted a very small/flat chest and have planned on getting a breast reduction (meaning i want basically no tits. i’m like a DDD rn. and i’m short and have a baby face so that’s like. very noticeable. pain.) ASAP. but i like dress and being seen as a girl? but i also want to be non binary, but it feels like something im striving for. i don’t feel like i’m there. i feel like i WANT to be there but i just keep hitting roadblocks.

when i think about OTHER girls, i’m like yeah. i relate to that. but when i think about myself. fully isolated. i want to present like a feminine agender person. i am connected to my girlhood. girl, sister, girlfriend, daughter... all of them accurately describe me. but i also like person, sibling, partner, child.

i like femininity. i like being seen like that. and being seen as a girl is cool and fine. but i don’t feel like it accurately describes all of me. but i’m like scared??

i want to be a “girl” in the way that when u look at me ur like ... is that a girl? my face i like lmao. it’s round and feminine. cool lol. my body.... i wish with like all my heart i woke up one day w/o titties or major curves. but i’ve literally work so hard to accept and like myself in my body. YEARS of forcing myself to look in the mirror and compliment myself. deconstructing fatphobia was a big part of it. but in my head. with no mirrors around. i think of myself as less curvy. a small fame, but not really curvy. much more neutral features. i forget what i actually look like. but when i do look in the mirror now i’m like she’s pretty. i like how she looks. nice. but it doesn’t really feel like me. but i feel cool. it’s like nice makeup that’s someone else chose for u and never comes off. like yes. that’s nice. but... it’s not like “me”. i feel like that about most of my features. but i’ve grown up in them. i don’t hate them. i think they look pretty and i feel confident enough like this. and after all the work i’ve done to get to this mindset... it’s just not what i want.

i think part of what’s messing with me is i’m automatically more comfortable with other girls/afabs, like we just share experiences and i can generally understand how they socialize. guys like,.. not so much. but most of my actual friends have ended up being guys. but im naturally wary of guys. and most around me end up being fucking republicans anyways. and another part of what’s getting to me is when i’m going about my life, i enjoy being stereotypically feminine. like i like to be taken care of, feel small , that bs. maybe it’s internalized misogyny that i feel like the only way i can be that is as a girl.

i also think i just have no idea what it would really feel like to go about the world non-binary. like i just want to keep blending into the background. i don’t want to be that noticeably different, i’m already autistic.

i think it’s also weird bc since middle school have been having periodic gender crisises but they always end in me just getting embarrassed, finding transmeds on the internet and also getting embarresed, not wanting to stop being feminine, or deciding it’s just not worth it.

and i think another thing is, i’ve always felt more connected to girls, but always on the outskirts of that, but that might just be because i’m autistic. but like i’m feminine in the sense that i like dresses. and being taken care of that and that shit. girls tend to really fucking irk me a lot of the times. i don’t really feel “connected” to them, more like “stuck” with them but making the best of it. some are pretty cool :) tbh it’s mostly just other autistic or queer girls i vibe with. other than that.. i struggle a lot to feel connected.

speaking of being autistic.... i’m realizing a lot of what i’m feeling is similar to how i felt when i first started to consider that i was autistic. when i was alone or in a space i was totally comfy in, i felt very confident that i was autistic. but when i was around people, i was like no i’m definitely not. and even now. i know i mask whenever i’m not alone. but i’m literally so fucking used to it it’s not hard at all. it hardly feels like a mask. just a different version of me. not the most authentic, but it’s how i operate around others. so whatever. not what i like per say. but in most cases, i can deal with it and still be perfectly happy (ish). this is exactly how i feel about all of this gender shit.

but i think part of my hesitancy to identify like this is i’ve never met ppl irl who identify as non-binary. that wouldn’t be a group for me to find and relate to and be comfortable with, i’d just be the different one. and i’m already different. and people don’t really get neopronouns and that shit.

ok and i’m anxious about my boyfriend as well. he’s a straight guy, idk how he’d feel about me being non binary. but i don’t want to sacrifice our relationship, so it’d be fine, because i also like my name and pronouns now. i like the shortened version of my name better tbh but i think my name sounds cool. mostly because saying it is a vocal stim for me, same with my partners name fore some reason. i just think they’re good names. they feel good to hear and say. and i’ve always been described that way and i’m like yeah that’s me.

i like dresses. feminine clothes? yes pleaseee. i like how girl are generally the ones who get taken care of. i like feeling small and dainty. i like being silly and cute. but like ... silly and cute arent like “girl things”?? but idk.

but i like “girl”. not “ladies” or “woman”. that feels too much like “female” and the only time i feel like i relate to that at all is in very specific situations. i’m feminine. i like that. i wish i could be feminine in an androgynous way tho????????

TL;DR: closing thoughts. if i were the only person on earth and i could do whatever i wanted like magically. i would change my appearance to look like my picrew... but like for an ex think Crona from Soul Eater of Ed from Cowboy Bebop. both of them are androgynous but when i see both of them i’m like they’re kinda feminine too! like that’s what i want to look like. i’d probably go by Citrus and neopronouns and maybe she/her (they’re fine but i feel like i’m lying about being non binary when i use them). ya know. how i want to be. but in reality. i am scared of that. it sounds like a lot of work and a big change that i could probably never really achieve. i also hate change. and constantly explaining shit.

also do cis people PINE over this shit the way i am? i’ve done this multiple times for years. not consistently bc tbh i have other shit i need to spend energy on but when i’m not pouring energy into somewhere else i tend to circle back to this. maybe that’s a sign that i’m right.

[avenger-hawk]

Hey hawk, did you observe a pattern among people who participate in Woke-ism culture, they seem to have similar "traits" and "personality"? Dislike the "straight" orientation (usually identify themselves as gay/lesbian/bi and brags they are LGBT every second), they seem to think gender identity is a personality trait etc therefore "I'm holier than thou because I list myself as she/he/they/it". I bet they are gonna scream at me for being whatever "phobic" just because of this post lol

*clears throat* yeah they gonna scream at you but they can’t scream at me because it’s been a year that I am in an lgbt relationship soooo xD

Ofc I noticed this kind of behavior, these woke ppl really like be ‘different’ and tbh the thing I find more irritating is when they define themselves ‘autistic’ or ‘asperger’ or ‘adhd’ whathever other mental illness/condition, because these are serious things that should be diagnosed by a specialist and not an online tests, and usually ppl who have a real problem are not so incredibly vocal about it. Sure they don’t brag with it....”but I don’t have money to take a test and my parents don’t let me!” they say? yeah. could be. but it also could be that you just wanna look special and since you’re socially anxious or shy or just a b*tch, you like to play rude and then justify yourself with those labels, and if someone dares tell you you’re a piece of shit you can call them ableist lol

Same for race or country. Not taking anything away from populations/countries/cultures/religions that have been oppressed, but sometimes I cringe cause some ppl try so hard to fit in this. Like, at some point 99% of populations were invaded by others and oppressed, and I’m sorry for welsh ppl, to just name one (no offense it’s the first that came to my mind cause I read a post recently lol) but if this continues we’re gonna have to seek justice for the victims of the vikings’ raids lolol

Anyway, back to what you were saying. I partly get that lgbt ppl are vocal about what they are bc maybe they can’t tell their families or friends, and they use social media as outlets. but like you said, your personality is not defined by who you f*ck and/or love (It’s not even defined by the fiction you like, actually, but they think so). So while I understand ppl describe themselves in their profile and specify their gender identity and sexuality, for me it’s cringey when they take it too far. Like when they start with all the labels ever, or they make combinations...demisexual panromantic/asexual demiromantic/trans nonbinary aroace spectrum...sounds like a competition of who’s less ordinary. Bonus points if they also add race and illness. Bonus points if they pretend they’re experts and activist and they shit on ppl who ship something or speak of top/bottom bc they’re fetishizing gay mlm/wlw and how dare they, dirty cishets (cause Anon, straight is a too banal word lol).

(also...not to offend ‘aroace’ ppl out there but...when someone is like 12...couldn’t it be that they’re just...too young for caring about sex/love? asking for a friend lolol)

I mean, tumblr has a lot of lgbt ppl and it’s cool, and I know it’s hard to live as an lgbt person cause you can’t do what het ppl do normally, like kissing in public or holding hands or writing cute posts on fb bc someone might bitch or be even worse, so this creates a bitterness and aggressiveness on social media I guess, especially here where minorities are the majority lol. And I too, on my personal blog, occasionally ranted about things like internalized homophobia and queerbaiting, but only very rarely lol and no one paid attention to me, guess I am not lgbt enough hahahah

But, it’s stupid to use sexuality labels as a shield to shit on ppl and then call them --phobic when they react. It actually happened to me a couple of years ago, I wrote something about bottom Sasuke and this self defined aromantic+asexual+autistic+gay american dude attacked me for fetishizing gays. Back then I was in a relationship with a guy so for him I was only a boring straight person I guess, a gross fujoshi who dared like mlm haha. fuck him. If I were the same type of person as him I would have pulled the oppressed card, I could have attacked him reminding him that his country treated italian immigrants like animals, and that they had this veeeery big problem of being unsure about our ‘race’ so in their papers they often wrote ? cause they couldn’t understand if we were poc or not...but it would have been kinda off topic and I cartainly don’t waste time talking about me to ppl I don’t even trust to be what they say.

Also because I was raised by parents who were very politically involved, so I remember them doing activism, like, getting out of the house, going to protests, doing volunteering, even taking me along when I was little. So even tho now everything happens online first, and even tho posts can spread awareness and change ppl’s minds, I still don’t trust when I see those blogs full of angry woke activism, because they seem fake and even those ppl seem fake. It’s easy to scream for justice from a keyboard, in a comfortable house. It’s less easy to protest in the cold, risking to have problems with the police, the government, the pandemic, whatever else.

It’s irritating that wokies want to take the right to like smth in the right way or whatever, telling everyone else who don’t fit in the minority group that they can’t like the thing. Idk, I just wish ppl were like in Eastern Asian fandoms, not making everything about themselves, being open minded enough for whatever ‘different’ thing whether they are into it or not, and if they’re not ignoring it only.

And I do get wanting to fit the minority, as a teenager I was veery punk/gothic, depending on the moment, and I never fit in the majority opinions or habits anyway. And I was kind of fluid with my identity and sexuality, but silly me, I kept it for myself, even tho I discussed with those who insulted lgbt ppl and I wrote stuff where everyone is bisexual by default, thinking that it was how people were born before society conditioned them...I could have bragged but I had no idea about ‘fluid’ or ‘pan’, silly me.

I am so irritated at everything, like the words they use, even the english language that is not mine, is getting on my nerves because it’s the vehicle for their crap, but these periodically trending words are disgusting like these ppl to me.

I migth have gone out of topic again lol.