#he’s trying his hardest but it is NOT working

[stardustandash]

How many fics have you worked on since January?

Worked on about 55? I think? Its hard to calculate as I posted whumptober and febuwhump as individual stories but they exist in one doc each on my computer. I've worked on 6 fics that are either as of yet unposted, unprinted in a zine, or just lost unfinished limbo (I need to work on my merrin-focused post nur fic omg)

2. What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year?

I guess I've tried to play more with present vs past tense, and finishing multichapter fics before posting. Did try out a time loop for the first time during whumptober and had fun with that!

3. What piece of media inspired you the most? (This can be the fandom you wrote the most for, the one that spawned the most ideas, the one you thought about the most, etc.)

I feel like Star Wars is the pretty obvious answer, though right at the end of the year here comes Dragon Age with a steel chair after 4 years of not really being involved in the fandom

4. How many fandoms did you write for this year?

Seven, I think! Jedi Fallen Order & Survivor, The Bad Batch, Dragon Age Inquisition & Veilguard, FFXV, FFXVI, Horizon Zero Dawn & Forbidden West, and Twisted Wonderland

5. What ships captured your heart?

As a gen writer its rare for ships to catch me, but thank you Veilguard for giving me Rook x Harding, and M!Rook x Emmrich. (Not a fan of F!Rook x Emmrich sorry yall)

7. What characters captured your heart?

As always Cal remains number 1 in my heart. I love him so much, along with the whole Mantis crew <3 For new this year, I am bewitched body and soul by the Veilguard crew. The writers were cooking with all of them, they're all amazing!!

8. Did you write for any new fandoms or ships this year?

...Does Veilguard count lol? For new fandoms I wrote one FFXVI fic early in the year.

I've got two fics for Rook x Harding and one wip for Rook x Emmrich as new ships!

9. What fic meant the most to you to write?

That's a hard question!! I think I poured a lot of my own personal emotional anguish into a lot of the fics I wrote this year. It's been a rough year for many reasons, and writing out all that angsty hurt/comfort helped a lot

10. What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?

I think finishing 'what makes a family' was honestly one of the best feelings ever! And the fact that I still get comments on it from time to time about people binge-reading it.

11. What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing?

I guess I could go with the above, but actually completing whumptober was pretty satisfying.

12. What fic was the most difficult to write?

'i do not love the bright sword for its sharpness' is at the top of this pile. i think about it constantly but actually writing it is proving super difficult, and it remains unfinished...

13. What fic was the easiest to write?

The one for the Pabu Days zine!! I wrote the first draft in just over an hour, and it was about 1k too many words lol

14. What were your shortest and longest fics posted this year?

of the ones written entirely in this year, 'take a breath before the plunge' wins with its 11k words. If we count just completed this year, 'what makes a family' wins at just shy of 70k

The shortest was one of the whumptober fics, 'where flesh and metal meet'

15. What were your go-to writing songs?

The Horizon games' soundtracks! Less of a song list, but there's too many to put in here.

What was the hardest fic to title?

...all of them. Titling things is the hardest part of writing fics

16. What's your favorite title of the year?

Love and Blood Both Run Red, or maybe Cold But For Your Company

17. Share your favorite opening line

In some way, Tech thinks, it is poetic to die for his family.

From here, at the bottom

18. Share your favorite ending line

He turned, and came face to face with a skull staring back at him. There were holes through the skull, and though everything had been decayed by time, Cal could still see that the skeleton wore Jedi robes.

From then there was nothing

19. Share your favorite piece of dialogue

ooh i don't know! If its humorous then assume its one of my favourites

20. Share your funniest line

see above

21. What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?

I think being able to slip back into old fandoms and characters for whumptober was a surprise. it didn't change the story but it was surprisingly quick to get back into things i hadn't touched in years

22. What writing programs did you use? Did you write by hand?

I use microsoft word for all my fics. which isn't great for longform fic and probably why i don't write too much of it

23. If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?

Again, actually managing to complete whumptober felt really good!! I've never managed to finish a writing challenge like that so it was a really proud moment

24. Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?

I don't think I've ever done anything?? Though I am thinking about starting a lil scrapbook of comments or smth like that

25. How did you recharge between fics?

what is this recharge you speak of? I am either possessed by ideas that demand attention or left in a drought of creativity

26. Did you create fanworks other than fic?

I do playlists for myself sometimes. I have ones for Cal, Crosshair, and Omega right now. I constantly wish i had the patience to improve my art skills to do fanart

27. How many events did you take part in? (bangs, exchanges, ship weeks, zines, prompt memes, they all count!)

4 if you count febuwhump and whumptober. I'm in a Bad Batch zine that's in preorders right now - Pabu Days, and participating in a fic/art exchange for new years for Twisted Wonderland

28. If this were an awards show, who would you thank?

firstly I'd like to thank my cat for being the one to hear me talk out plot points and details. I'd also like to thank @pennflinn and @breakfastteatime for being both supportive of all my j:fo fics as well as being inspirations themselves in that fandom! And the whole j:fo fandom at large for being awesome and supportive of each other's works. And I need to mention @fanfoolishness for joining me in not one, not two, but THREE! fandoms here!! As well, shoutout to @shadowcrow for yelling on my rook x harding fics! it's a small corner of the fandom but at least it's got you there!

29. What's left on your to-do list for 2024?

Finish this fic for the new years exchange, and get another chapter of Blood and Love Both Run Red up! Though it may only be one of those that happens...

30. What would you like to write next year?

I wanna finish bright sword and get that post nur Merrin fic postable! And since I'm currently consumed by Veilguard I wanna write more of that next year too!

A slightly revised version of last year's questions! Two ways to play: Reblog and have your followers send you numbers, or answer the whole list!

How many fics have you worked on since January?

What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year?

What piece of media inspired you the most? (This can be the fandom you wrote the most for, the one that spawned the most ideas, the one you thought about the most, etc.)

How many fandoms did you write for this year?

What ships captured your heart?

What characters captured your heart?

Did you write for any new fandoms or ships this year?

What fic meant the most to you to write?

What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?

What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing?

What fic was the most difficult to write?

What fic was the easiest to write?

What were your shortest and longest fics posted this year?

What were your go-to writing songs?

What was the hardest fic to title?

What's your favorite title of the year?

Share your favorite opening line

Share your favorite ending line

Share your favorite piece of dialogue

Share your funniest line

What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?

What writing programs did you use? Did you write by hand?

If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?

Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?

How did you recharge between fics?

Did you create fanworks other than fic?

How many events did you take part in? (bangs, exchanges, ship weeks, zines, prompt memes, they all count!)

If this were an awards show, who would you thank?

What's left on your to-do list for 2024?

What would you like to write next year?

[moody-alcoholic]

On a Wing and a Prayer

Part 6 - The Last Goodbye

CW: Angst, thoughts of self harm.

Christmas is a tough time for me. Writing this part has really helped.

Previous parts - masterlist - next

A nurse shakes you awake. It’s a different nurse, one you don’t recognise. You prop yourself up getting ready to move but Johnny’s arms lock round you pulling you back up against him. 

“Johnny, there's a nurse here.” You say as he nuzzles his nose into your neck. 

“C’mon, don’t leave.” It breaks your heart. You force yourself to get out of bed. He sits up while the nurse walks over to do his obs. You bend down putting your boots back on.

“I mean it lass, please don’t leave, this room, or 141.” Your breath catches in your throat. Of course John told them. You hang your head. Guilt that's all you can feel.

“How do you think I can work with them again after-” it's pitiful the sob you let out, choking on the words. You can’t see good memories when you think of them, it's just pain. 

“I'll make them apologise. I’ll make them make it up to you. Whatever you want.” He says. You smile at his enthusiasm, you can’t blame him. The nurse finishes up, writing something in his chart before leaving. You move up to him and kiss him, he kisses you back, his hands grabbing your arms like he wants to pull you back in bed.

“I’m sorry Johnny, I need to go. I love you and Gaz. I always will.” He looks at you with pleading in his eyes. You have to hold it together, you can’t let him see you upset. Your hand goes up to brush his cheek. 

“I can’t love them right now. I can't, I'm sorry.” You let go of his face heading to leave the room. 

“Then me and Gaz will leave.” It stops you in your tracks, you turn back to look at him. 

“Johnny, you can’t do that. They’re your family, your brothers-in-arms. You’re not going to leave them, you can't.” You say, now you’re pleading. 

“They hurt you. I can’t forgive them for that.” 

“Yes you can Johnny, you have to, because I can’t.” 

“I’m so sorry they did this to you.” He says, you can hear the break in his voice even though he’s trying to hide it. 

“Yeah, me too.” You say as you leave the room.

______________

You’re in your room, packing, the duffle bag you unpacked less than a month ago is open again. It feels wrong throwing your gear in like you’re about to go home. You are about to go home, for a few months at least. 

John would only sign your transfer if you promised to see a therapist. You agreed to whatever he said, you just needed to get away. Talking to him was the hardest, at least with Simon he keeps himself to himself. John on the other time spends his time trying to apologise. 

Kyle has already been round asking if you need help. John has passed the hallway a few times, probably just to check on how you’re doing. He never says anything or offers to help but you can feel his presence. 

When Simon comes to the door the energy in the room changes. Hair stands up on the back of your neck, you turn your head slightly to see him as you fold your spare trousers up. 

“What do you want?” you say almost snapping at him.

“You don't have to leave.” Simon says. You look up at him. You tried to avoid his eyes, the only part of him he leaves exposed. His eyes just look dark, there's no love behind them. No hidden kindness.

“I do, I can't stand being in the same room as you. How the hell am I going to save you in the field?” You throw another shirt into the bag. 

“I want you to stay.” He says, you squeeze your eyes closed for a second feeling pain rise in your chest. Johnny and Kyle have already asked you to stay, they’ve already let their facades fall asking you as a partner, a lover, rather than a teammate or a person. 

“Then you shouldn’t have hurt me.” It comes out with a sob, you can’t help it. You clear your throat getting back to your bag. You hear Simon move behind you, his steps loud in the silence of the hall. 

“You’re right, I shouldn’t have hurt you.” His voice is low, you hear the croak in his words. You wipe the tears away as he talks.

You turn to shout at him but he's gone and a petrified looking soldier stands in your doorway.

"The base commander would like to see you."

________

You knock on the conference room door. Simon left before you, you spent a few seconds panicking. Why does the base commander need to see you?

“Come in.” You suck it up walking into the room. You look round, the base commander is standing at the top of the oval table. John and Simon are in chairs avoiding your gaze, you look at them for a second before waking up to the general. You step up to him, planting your feet on the floor putting your arms behind your back. 

You’re going to be professional, that's all they get. You don’t want to lose your job.  

“You’ve asked to move units?” The general asks.

“Yes sir.” You reply trying to hide the bitterness in your voice.

“As per the protocol I would like some feedback on your current unit-” He looks down at a piece of paper before looking back up at you. “-Special forces unit 141 led by Captain Price.” You swallow hard keeping your body locked in place. 

 “Captain Price is extremely professional and proficient in his field. He commands his unit to the highest standard. I can only speak well of 141 and it's ongoing fight against terrorism.” You say holding back the sob rising in your throat. It's rehearsed words, you don't even feel anything as they come out.

The general smiles looking over at Simon and John quickly before turning his attention to you. “You speak highly of your unit. Is there any reason in particular you’re requesting a transfer?” 

“Personal reasons sir,” you say. It’s the truth, they’re good at their job. You know that from personal experience. The world needs good counter terrorism units like theirs. For queen and country above all. 

“Well, your transfer is approved pending a psych evaluation. You will receive your new posting after said conditions have been met.” The general signs something then hands it to you.

“Do you have any other questions, sergeant?” He asks, you look down at the paper. That's it, it's official. You’re no longer part of 141. 

“No sir, thank you.” You say, he nods at you, you salute him, turning to look at John and Simon, both their eyes are on you. You look at them both then head for the door, you hope this is the last time you will ever see them.

______________

You’re walking to the exit of the base, carrying your heavy duffle bag over your back but it feels like a weight has been lifted. It’s only when you hear Kyle shouting for you the bag suddenly feels like it weighs 100 kilos. 

You turn to look at him, stopping in your tracks.

“You didn’t come to say goodbye.” He says, his hand resting on your shoulder. 

“I can’t. I can’t look you or Johnny in the eyes and leave.” You say, you’re trying not to snap at him. 

“Then don’t leave.” Kyle says. There it is again, the pain firing through your chest, like a stab to the heart. 

“Christ, Kyle. I can’t. I can’t look at any of you without wanting to run away, I could hurt you or-” Your voice is ringing in your ears. You’re hurting him. You’re screaming at Kyle and he did nothing wrong. Or maybe he did, Johnny and Kyle have been part of 141 for years. You joined a year ago. 12 months. 

You walk up to Kyle pressing your lips onto his, your hand wrapping around his waist. You kiss him deep, your tongue playing with his. You don’t care who sees. 

“I love you.” You say as you break from the kiss, pressing your forehead to his. “I’ll keep in touch. I promise. You and Johnny, if you want?”

“Of course I want that. Johnny too. I know you’re hurt but we’re here, day or night.” he says. You smile pulling away from him. You pull the duffle back bag tighter over your shoulder, turning away. 

“Go save the world Gaz.” You call walking out the base. He smiles at you, his hand running over his head. 

“Always!” he calls. There it is, the break. The crack in his voice, the tears down his face. 

You feel the guilt, you turn away heading over to the bus stop. You wish you could change things, make things better but you can’t. You can’t forgive John and Simon. Not now, not for a long time.

next Banners by firefly-graphics

[bagelo0]

smth smth about me wanting to connect crows and hamilton smth smth, i’m delusional, also no shading here bc it looked rly bad with it 💥

messy explanation under the cut

also, yes, i did switch it from the og post, from ravens with ham to the crows with ham instead

okay to the folks curious about the connection sorry to dissapoint its just me being a little delusional like the violin and piano thing with ham and burr, anyways, i wanted to connect ham and burr to some extra pizazz if i ever make animatics, so here i am trying to bs my way for raven and crows, and disclaimer i dunno crap about birds, i just google so sorry for anything wrong

ravens and crows are easily mistaken for each other and i think that fits with ham and burr being quite simillar, they are both young prodigies that were orphaned at a young age, their paths parallel each other and i think choosing two simillar looking birds can somewhat show that simillarity between them, and as an extra these two birds are rly common in the US so it wouldn’t be that jarring when i draw them

now to the symbolisms, ravens and crows also share characteristics here, vision and prediction, while also both being intuitive and clever, I associated burr with ravens because of it symbolizing death and misfortune, which i mean, i think that describes his childhood pretty well (also bc in my head the wait for it motif is just burr being haunted by ghosts), but apparently ravens can also be a symbol for rebirth and starting anew, which i think actually burr and hamilton can be associated with both of those things but shhh

with hamilton’s crows, the one i wanna focus on is the apollo symbolism (yes kinda funky but im trying my hardest to bs this), crows and apollo are associated with prophecy, but specifically black crows being associated with being doomed, and if i can use one word to describe hamilton’s life, it would be doomed 😀(works rly with timeloop au just sayin, he is always doomed to die)

anyways also found that crows are socially monogomous but sometimes cheat on their partner, i think that is just a tidbit of foreshadowing, while ravens mate for life, only finding another mate when their first one dies, and crows are the ones associated with mischieve and are also known to be social, while ravens are more solitude, i think that fits ham and burr

and lastly and most importantly /s—i just wanna draw birds and i think these two birds would have a really nice aesthetic, this is all for fun💥

alright thanks for reading this ik its quite long, i apologize, have a nice day :]

[vaguelyaperson]

the more i think about it, the more i like that izuku becomes a teacher as a quirkless adult, and that he supposedly never takes on full-time hero work

... it just wouldn't feel like such an odd ending if it wasn't such a sharp turn from the themes of the story.

it would beat a dead horse to get into such themes: the insistence that izuku could be a [pro] hero too, save to win win to save (implication of bkdk as hero duo), go beyond to achieve your dreams, ect. others have commented on this eloquently enough. i want to contemplate how 430/431 are a valid ending... if the story matched the conclusion.

bnha has themes that could've been developed to make 430/431 make more sense. there's the excellent theme that average citizens can be heroes through 'mundane' actions, and a suggestion that an ideal future would be one where heroes have too much free time (ie, pro heroes overall would be a defunded profession). i personally adore these themes, and was disappointed that the ending didn't explore more of what a better quirk culture should look like beyond 'uraraka reforms quirk education classes.' those themes (plus the commentary on villains) suggested an eventual overhaul of the current quirk culture - which we didn't get. which sucks. because these themes, properly developed, would make PERFECT sense of a protagonist who decides to be an 'average citizen.'

yet these ideas weren't quite attributed to izuku's character. he's the protagonist. he was set up for the big flashy future, right? which is why it feels like such a sudden slap to so many fans that he was supposedly content working as a teacher for eight years, that he wouldn't jump at the opportunity to become a full time hero.

now, a good bit of this can be attributed to story medium. bnha was skewed in the beginning to function as a standard shounen (boy has powers, boy works hard, boy achieves big dreams), and that it wasn't until about the last hundred chapters or so that horikoshi dug his heels in about writing the story he wants to write. so clearly if the story's endgoal changed in his mind (which stories often do, and manga is extremely restrictive in that an author can't rewrite the full story to make the plot consistent), then he only had so much leeway to lead to the eventual ending of a quirkless citizen izuku without taking the hardest turn from the standard shounen tone at the beginning.

but even then. even then, that's about a hundred chapters that bnha could've introduced the idea that IZUKU could be a hero in ways unrelated to professional heroism. that it's so unhealthy for this kid to sacrifice so much of himself that it would actually be better for him to pursue a different career.* or that it was even a valid career path for someone who initially dreamed of being a pro hero.

like, take lemillion; izuku's literal mirror. the story could've kept togata functionally quirkless, could've explored the full grief of such a big dream lost, could've explored the sheer injustice that this KID was put on the front-line and thus his quirk and dream were snatched from him... and then introduced a way that togata could use his skills to help people in a different career.

or take all might; izuku's mentor and cautionary tale. maybe have all might talk to izuku about grappling with being quirkless again. maybe have him find who he is beyond being of service to others (which is clearly these two born-quirkless fuckers dealing with massive self-worth issues, trying to justify their existence with heroics), and find relief in that. maybe have him wonder aloud if it might have been better for him to choose such a profession outright from the beginning, rather than repeatedly almost DIE as a pro-hero. maybe have the two revisit that conversation from the first episode, that being a [quirkless] hero IS dangerous, but that there is genuine fulfillment in other work - as all might has found in teaching.

then when it happens to izuku, it wouldn't be such a shock to the audience. and even if we don't see him change over those eight years of the epilogue, it wouldn't be such a shock that he turns down full-time hero work. we'd get it.

*because continuing off this point: the story very much established that izuku CAN'T be trusted 'unsupervised' as a pro hero. that ofa is almost a curse. how many fuckin fanworks reference an adult izuku who never stops putting himself into harms way, who keeps nearly fuckin dying (or does die) cause he never thinks of himself? the story could've EASILY built on this to the point that it would feel like a blessing that izuku loses ofa and can't become a pro-hero.

(instead of it being played in this.... extremely weird.... grieved not grieved, katsuki's sobbing but izuku 'started out quirkless' so it's fine??? like??? the tone??? is in shambles???)

instead, the story said "you don't have to fight alone, izuku, cause your friends are here." most especially that katsuki inserted himself as izuku's primary protector and competitor. that katsuki developed a whole ass power-up that could MATCH ALL FOR ONE'S power, that he CAUGHT UP to izuku as a hero. at large, class a showed the fuck up, more than once, to throw down on izuku's behalf. the story said, yes izuku is recklessly selfless, and ofa only exasperates this, but his friends are so determined to work hard to make sure there's always someone at his back. this will be the new generation of heroes.

... which... should've led to a completely different story conclusion. one that would've been just as valid as 'izuku finds more stability and meaning in being a teacher.' it would just need to be an ending that would have fit the established themes. i would've loved that ending too.

in conclusion! there's more to being a hero than flashy heroic acts. izuku is a selfless maniac who's probably safer in the classroom tbh. manga is a restrictive medium that can't be rewritten into a more consistent plot. nevertheless, given the amount of chapters horikoshi had to play with the story he wanted to tell, there was time to develop pre-existing themes that would better anticipate the conclusion we got. 430 and gods 431 especially - despite being arguably a valid ending for the characters - didn't have to feel like such sharp left turns.

... and despite learning to appreciate izuku turning down katsuki's agency offer, i still don't like 431. lmao

[pintrestgrl]

Idk why but I only ever wanna see precious get disciplined. Like Barry in hard dom mode. Idk wtf she did to earn it maybe she had to go outside to chase her cat while Barry was away or something but I just want some drama.

dude me too omg the people love them all cute but i live for the drama and chaos

whenever barry first took her to georgia it was reaaaalllyyy bad. she would try to run off every day. he didn’t work for like three weeks because he didn’t trust her. his tactic was to blackmail and embarrass her into not leaving.

he would sedate her just a lil, to get her more pliable and willing. precious already never wore any clothes but he would make sure of it then , and would pose her to take pics of her naked and exposed.

then when she came to her senses again he would show her all the photos. she knew he knew her daddy and everyone in obx , and he would threaten to send it and leak it if she kept trying to run off.

she would cry n scream n bite but he would just hold her down and try to soothe her. meanwhile she was trying her absolute hardest to get away from him. eventually she got tired and would fall asleep on him and then wake up n feel disgusted with herself.

he would use that against her too n b like “see? you fuckin’ fell asleep on me. you don’t wanna leave. you never did. just want attention— huh?” n she would get so mad at him , at herself.

precious always bein naked is actually a bigger plot then yall think bc she does it from all the trauma from him blackmailing her. she doesn’t know why but it makes her feel better. around whenever she kinda gave up on leaving but still was distant and upset is when he taught her all the rules n how to even live

i’ll go into deeper depth of the rules and everything he taught her if yall want too

[the-ellia-west]

Rose

A ramble

-

Rose is a fascinating character because she's one of the most 'present' in the mIn group, always around and involved in whatever's happening. She is high-energy and easily engaged in a variety of topics.

She is caring and kind, but she isn't without her flaws

Rose Loves Jak, Morena, and Wild

Rose is Neutral about Phenik and Mangrove

She has a rocky relationship with Finn & Ronan

And she HATES Fye

She is a loyal friend and a loving defender, but she won't hesitate to call you a b**ch if you're being one.

Rose's Feelings of others are not only tied to their actions, goals, and treatment of her, but also their treatment of her brother, because they are irreversibly tied, and whoever insults the only family she has, insults her. Her loyalty causes her to be closer than she probably should to him, and anyone else she loves.

She loved Finn, and respects him, but their relationship is on the rocks because of his resentment toward Jak, She likes Ronan, but her feelings are similar, also taking into account his obsession with Revenge and violent tendencies.

Though she loves them all, she has a bit of... a problem with her loyalty, as when she loves someone as her family, whoever hates them has committed a crime in her mind already. A forgivable one, but a crime nonetheless. Causing her to lash out at Kyrin after he hurt Morena, and ask Wild if he really lives his family, because if he didn't advocate for them, she would have already buried them.

And this.... predictably creates issues within the group, as she finds it difficult to disagree with people she loves, but will if she thinks it's for their own good.

And sometimes, she will worry if she doesn't know people as well as she thought she did

*her crisis when she realizes she doesn't actually know what Jak likes* - Though she is incredibly endearing and tries her hardest to be open and kind.

She has a notebook she keeps on her to study the magical Phenomena she finds on her trip, and she excitedly loves to quiz the other magic users on their methods, powers, and their experiences, trying to figure out how their powers work

Rose loves puzzles, figuring things out, and doesn't like lying to her friends and family, though she does love testing out her powers, which can have catastrophic consequences if she stops holding herself back and/or gets too emotional because of the time she has spent increasing her power.

Rose's power is far past it's limit and is quite stable due to her studies, only... if she herself is too unstable, her powers will rocket out of control, far past where she can naturally get them, and if she's not careful with her power, she could potentially level a small town

A side ramble on her relationship with 'you know who':

Rose & him met when they were much younger, and easily fell into the role of teasing siblings or best friends

They called each other by stupid patronizing nicknames, and Rose would always follow him to make sure he wasn't going anywhere near her sister

Rose mistrusted him the most, and always thought Evie was too good for him. They had a friendly rivalry when they got older, until everything fell apart. Rose's sister died. Her parent's business collapsed, and they died not long after, with her being unable to come home between it. Her two Surrogate brothers broke off their friendship, and the only one left began avoiding her

For the longest time, she was alone. Until she clawed her way out of the pit with claws made of woven steel and buried herself in her interests, strengthening herself and pulling her last family back into her life by tracking him down and asking politely.

And when he actually showed up the first time, she played it off like they were friendly Rivals like normal, and when he didn't push back, it stayed like that, playful teasing and sarcastic comments, with some quiet sincere moments when they could afford it, and she would ask as many times as she could to see him, desperate for any real interaction

When she could afford the time, she would travel to collect information for her studies and become her own test subject, until she spotted a strange young man with a fiery spirit and a penitent for sensing magical currents

And she was thrown into a group where she got to spend time with her old Surrogate brother, and the one she'd kept every single day, and she didn't want to let them go again.

Not when she could hug them both, not when he was just an arm's reach away and she loved his company when she got it

Not when everything was finally looking happy again

Not when she saw a glimpse of the man who had his love beaten out of him

Because she wanted the past back, and she would hold onto it until her palms were bleeding and she couldn't hold on anymore

She wasn't going to let them go. Neither of them. Not again.

[angelsdvsts]

"i don't think that you're that good of a girl, no matter what you claim. . . but i'm willing to see you prove just how good of a girl you are," he knows she would be foaming at the mouth wanting the urge to drink all of his cum except he isn't going to give her any of it. "offended, hm? well, now you know not to make me angry unless you really want me to resist giving you any sort of pleasure." surely, it would be difficult for him, but he was willing to do just about anything to see her squirm, to hear her beg. "you like anything that's pink," nolan pointed out with a playful roll of his eyes, though by now he knew exactly her type, her style. "yeah? you like the whole matching aesthetic, hm? going to pull out the sparkly pink butt plug too?" but god, he really couldn't resist her silky pale skin. in his opinion she owned the color baby pink. "a real juicy hobby? hm, sounds like she has her hands full. . . " lips curves into a smirk, the nasty thought of her on her knees, pushing him closer towards to his climax as he moans into the phone for other's to get off to? it shouldn't turn him on as much as it did, seems as if everything regarding her got him rock hard. "aw, sweetheart -- you know that i'd never bullshit you... but ah, i knew you liked me, no matter how many times you tried to resist it." but it was inevitable with how much time they spent with one another and fall into bed. it was nice to see her work her very hardest to make everyone see that maybe just maybe he is wrapped up in her. fuck was she a vision on her knees as boxers bundles against her ankles, groaning slightly. "oh, baby you can definitely try -- want to see you try.. open that mouth," he urges, eyes grew half-lidded as he sucks in a breath. "work your magic."

"but i would never deserve that, baby. i'm a good girl, don't forget that." being forced to sit and watch as nolan stroked and tugged himself to completion would be torture for the petite blonde, all of that cum going to waste when it could be stuffed inside her. "i never knew you could be so mean! tying me up and denying me your cum? i'm offended." plush lips pout forcefully, a frown creasing her forehead. "i like those pink ones with the bows", femme adds, expression smoothing out as talk turns to nice things, like glasses and cups to contain his seed. "i think they'd look so cute, especially if i'm wearing my pink lingerie!" aesthetically it would be utterly adorable, all those soft shades of pink and bare skin, it was getting sophie excited just thinking about it. there were so many different things they could try for their audience, so many new things they could explore and it just made her want to dive right in and make the most of it. "i dunno, i've heard she's pretty booked up these days --- has a really juicy hobby." she didn't mind the idea of someone paying to hear nolan's raspy voice as he came, especially when he was coming on her face and tits. it was another stream of income and who wouldn't want that? "and i called bullshit on that, baby. it's just a good thing i like you so much." at least she'd ensured those cheap whores understood just who nolan belonged to. flooring pressing into her knees sophie tugs and yanks on his trousers, giggling in her attempt to remove those pesky layers. "you think i can fit both balls in my mouth at once, baby?" sitting straighter her hand reaches for his thick cock, thumb rubbing against it's swollen crown. "cause i wanna suck 'em until you can't hold back anymore and cum all over my face."

[evrensadwrn]

i love how the only line i hear ashswag speak in whitepine’s first episode is him panicking while trying to get others to calm down it’s so funny

[mari-lair]

I can't draw adults/muscles to save my life so I guess they are aged up to 16 or 17?

It was fun to play with their designs

[mc-tummy-blur]

I’ve been so busy with other stuff but I really want to get back to drawing WHF art so I went and cleaned up a wip. Not sure how I feel with some of the angles but I just needed to get this out of my system

Based off of this clip

Click for better quality

Check my pinned post to see links on how you can help the people in Palestine

[theobrowningfd]

Theo learned his throat, reaching up a gloved hand to run it through his longer than normal hair. With the time off he had let his hair grow, as well as his facial hair, for a change as he didn't need to shave for work for a bit. Nodding, he smiled back at Cage, "whatever you're doing, keep it up," he said with a low chuckle, not that he himself thought he was the greatest dad but he tried his best and knew Cage did too. "I get it, you want to hold him close too. Metaphorically of course," he gestured as he didn't think Cage or Colton would be holding one another so much, lest for a hug here and there. Bit Theo understood what Cage meant, and he would probably feel the same. Theo took in a breath, the cold air stinging a bit but also felt good, as he listened to Cage. "Yeah, though I'm not sure the kids will do the traditional Christmas pajamas part. Maybe just their regular pajamas," he said with a grin, but hee knew what Cage meant. And he would try his hardest to make things as special as he could for the kids this year, after everything they had gone through and had to adjust to. "definitely but at least you guys will all be together," he offered before chuckling a bit. "That's very true, and a damn nice house at that."

Reaching up to scratch at his jaw as Theo complimented him, said that his son had a good father, Cage knew that it was all that he could ever really ask for; to be known as a good dad. A great businessman, and loving husband, the best brother that his siblings could ask for, of course. But if he could go through his life feeling that he had done well by his kids… that meant the most to him. "I try," he replied with his own smile, nodding his head. "It's this weird line to tow of wanting to reassure him that we're here, and we're fine, but I kind of need him, too, you know?" Cage wouldn't complain about getting to spend extra time with his son, having him sit on the couch to watch a game instead of wandering off to his room, or volunteering to bundle up and feed the animals, rather than rolling his eyes when asked. "Makes sense, but it'll be nice, you can do all the traditional Christmas pajamas and unwrapping gifts and the good stuff," he nodded his head, knowing that he didn't envy Theo for that. While there had been times, raising Colton, that he wished that his mother would have stayed in the picture, things had worked out the way they were supposed to, and he was grateful that he hadn't had to split his time. But he knew Theo would make the most of it, take advantage of every moment that he had with the kids, make their holiday special. "Yeah," he replied with a smile, nodding his head, "a little more somber, maybe, but maybe all the more important as our first, in a way, I guess? It is nice to have an actual house to celebrate in this year," he laughed. "Last year we only had the living room done."

[imminent-danger-came]

Not to me, not if it’s you.

[choco-mooooose]

Spy x Family Chapter 92 manga analysis/speculation- SPOILERS!!

Ok after reading this chapter, do I think the Authens have something more to them? Yes. Do I think they have bad intentions? Absolutely not!!!

Every single person in the family in spy family has their own hidden identity, even the dog and uncles. It would make sense if even the grandparents (the grandfather, at least) have their own hidden side. Except, in this case, it’s a case of forgotten identity, rather than hidden identity. The fact that a point was made to bring up that he worked in neurology and he was away from home for a while seems pretty specific of a detail to include. I don’t think Sigmund was one of the researchers who experimented on Anya, though. If anything, he may have been a branch head of some sort and greenlighted the project, without knowing/being told the extent of the experiment’s goals.

If he does find out she was one of the victims of this project, it could lead to a really profound scene with the absentminded, somewhat silly man earnestly apologizing to her for the trauma she’s endured.

I don’t think Twilight needs to be suspicious of them, but I do think there’s more to them than what’s on the surface. Besides, it feels pretty intentional that the Anya backstory special artwork and short chapter was released pretty recently.

And with them being the “Authens” (authentic), it’s an interesting parallel between the Forgers and their secrets (and repressed love!) vs the Authens, who may also have secrets, but also have very real love between them. They are what the Forgers could and can be.

Anyways… those are my thoughts on the chapter. I really loved it!!! It’s nice seeing an abundance of Anya after not seeing her during the mole arc at all. Makes me remember why I love her so much!!!! I seriously hope it’s not a fake out and she actually does really well on the test. I loved seeing Sigmund’s method work for her and seeing her be really dedicated to not failing, lol. The beard was great, we love you Anya.

[sysig]

Laptop is finally home, diary is gone for good

[hood-ex]

SPN S3E16 but make it Dick and Tim.

Dick and Tim are driving in the car not too long before Dick's soul is supposed to be collected and taken to hell, and they've got one plan left to try to save Dick's life, but they're not sure if it's going to work or not.

Tim starts saying, "If this doesn't go the way we want, I want you to know—" and Dick immediately cuts him off and tries to keep the mood light by singing a song, and it works. Tim starts smiling and singing along with Dick. As Tim keeps singing, Dick's voice slowly drops off. His once carefree expression twists into one of terror as his fate looms over him.

Later, after their plan fails, Dick gets ripped to shreds by hellhounds as Tim hysterically begs the demon to make the hellhounds stop. The demon ignores Tim, and Dick dies a painful and gruesome death. His soul is immediately sent to hell and shackled in bonds that pierce through his flesh. Terrified, Dick screams for Tim over and over, hoping that his little brother will magically appear and save him, but he doesn't.

Dick doesn't see Tim again for 40 more years.

[compacflt]

no like i respect the fact that he’s so dedicated to his own unhappiness that he becomes the worlds most unreliable narrator, however, if per se i had him hooked up to a polygraph machine on an electric chair and asked him to recount every detail from venice he could possibly remember…….what do you think he’d say

Diary of RDML Tom Kazansky 1 February 2002:

VENICE, ITA: 0900: Scheduled phone call with Dept. of Commerce Defense Security Cooperation Agency (DSCA) Deputy Director later today to discuss Foreign Military Sales program financing for the possible U.S.-Swiss F/A-18C sale.

0945: Spoke to Swiss US Export-Import Bank representative over the phone. All systems go.

1030: Reviewed Boeing-McDonnell F/A-18C fact sheet & identified points of Swiss Air Force strategic interest to push at tomorrow’s trilateral summit. Of particular note: high maneuverability at speed & long F-18 history of maintenance intercapabilities, suggesting future SWZ-US A/D industry partnership.

1215: Lunch with ITA Navy Adm. Lambretti & SWZ Asst. Deputy Minister of Defense Leipheimer. Discussed: coalition movements in Afghanistan, ongoing 9/11 relief & recovery efforts and ways allies can continue to help, SWZ tax credit for American investment.

1430: Spoke to US DOD Undersecretary for Policy (Acquisition) re: recent clarification of DOD acquisition policy. Received invitation to attend next year’s IARPA conference. Will consult with OJCS J4 leadership.

1500: Spoke with USN CDR Ron Kerner. Wished me a happy birthday.

1600: Preparatory staff meeting ahead of tomorrow’s summit.

1630: Spoke with Dept. of Commerce DSCA Deputy Director re: FMS financing. Inconclusive.

1900: Dinner with USN CDR Pete Mitchell who arrived in town today to speak at Thursday’s moderated discussion of the F/A-18C platform. He is staying till Saturday. Discussed future of Navy Fighter Weapons School & details of his presentation to be given Thurs. Stressed his adversary F-16 angle & asked him to consider putting together a future talk about F-18 evasive tactics and the concept of a joint multilateral US aerial combat training program (like NFWS) to bolster our allies’ expertise on US platforms. He did not like this idea. Scheduled follow-up dinners tomorrow (Wed 2 Feb) and Thurs (3 Feb) to continue our discussion. Will have lunch with him tomorrow as well. Due to an unfortunate scheduling error tonight’s dinner will be billed as dinner with SWZ Asst. Deputy Minister of Defense Leipheimer. DOD will likely compensate anyway.

(End)