#he’s the best isn’t he
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Top 5 jonathan characters ✨
Since you’re my Tucker bestie and you’ve seen most of his roles, I’m going to go into 5 more obscure characters just for you :3
1. Matthew (100 Girls)
This is the only romcom he’s done but it’s actually in my top 3 of the genre. The jokes are a little dated at this point but it’s like a nostalgia flick for me. It’s from the American Pie era of comedy movies but at least this one had some intelligent writing. His character was actually very respectful towards women, and that was so refreshing to watch for the type of movie it was. I also loved the scenes of him in drag because he makes a very pretty girl (and a convincing one too). A lot of times, when male actors pretend to be women they tend to play up the “bimbo” stereotype, but his character actually acted like a regular girl. It’s just a nice mood booster and I watch it like once a month.
2. Heck Prigusivac (Love Comes to the Executioner)
Jonathan has such good comedic timing, and some of the lines are so memorable to me. I love the ridiculous story, and the absurdist humor especially when he’s in scenes with Jeremy Renner, who plays his brother on death row. They just don’t make movies like this anymore (and good luck finding it anywhere).
Heck’s mother: What did Chick ever do to deserve this?
Heck: It’s called “multiple homicide”.
It’s on par with Hannibal jokes for me.
3. Boon (Justified)
I love him for the hair alone. Where can I find me a stalker cowboy with a bowl cut?
4. Shane Loakin (Meskada)
Plot? Who cares. The ending? One of the worst I’ve ever seen. Does he look insanely hot and I love his character? Yes and yes.
5. Bryan Beneventi (Debris)
Texan, only child, wears a necklace with a wolf insignia — GIVE ME MORE! At least we got one season, and some good whump (seizures 🤤). Some of the episodes were so awesome like the parallel universe ones, and I seriously got chills at times. So much potential but NBC just has to cancel anything good so it sucks we’ll never know how the debris damaged his body and what the injections are for (& the sex pollen fics are hot af).
#ask#i’ll show you mine and you show me yours#:3c#<333#he’s the best isn’t he#*dreamy sigh*#jonathan tucker#honorable mentions to ray donovan brady mcgraw shaw morgan almost every other character he’s played
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FNAF Cassidy is nervous to meet Abby,,
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#fnaf cassidy#fnaf cc#evan afton#fnaf crying child#abby schmidt#fredbear#fnaf movie#fnaf 4#fnaf fanart#five nights at freddy's#I’ve been meaning to draw these two meeting!#I still love the bit Abby will befriend basically anyone#so Cassidy and her being friends is actually very sweet#Cassidy is more afraid to meet Abby than Abby is to meet her BAHA#Cassidy knows she can come off a little intense#so she’s trying her best to not be so spooky#cc knows Cassidy is nervous too so he’s sticking close by to comfort her#luckily Abby isn’t phased at all by her death stare PFF#I gotta draw em again sometime 🩷💛!!#Abby always befriends the golden Freddys 💛💛
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have i mentioned that i’m a red team locus truther
(this is old art. earliest is from 2020)
#locus red team …..#locus is so transgender to me btw … in a she/they/he way#i like logrif mostly platonically but i think it’s funny if grif and simmons r both like yeah. locus is attractive.#then they both decide to do absolutely nothing about that information and mutual understanding.#anyways logrif besties yipeee! grif and locus besties !!!#i mean grif and simmons r best friends also but in a different way. there is something wrong with them (romantically)#grif and locus i have a few thoughts on how their friendship could be. i won’t get into it rn there isn’t enough room here#rvb#red vs blue#dexter grif#grimmons#dick simmons#my art#richard simmons#rvb locus#samuel ortez
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nooo don’t hurt him he has a baby to feed 😭
#quick doodle#and it works every time#nooo don’t be mad at me I’m a single mother noooo look at my baby isn’t he cute 😭😭#let his cute baby face calm you down 🥺🥺🥺#macaque is still mad at wukong but he can’t yell in baby xiaotian’s direction#that coward!!#digital art#my art#lmk sun wukong#lmk macaque#lmk mk#lego monkie kid#lmk xiaotian#lmk sunburst duo#shadowpeach#one of these days I’m just gonna straight up draw wukong breastfeedingWHO SAID THAT#ya know if anyone was ever to trigger my furry arc I’m glad it was sun wukong the best furry to exist#that monkey is goat right there#if mk was a baby monkey from the beginning there would be no bad things happening#nobody can bear to make him cry :(#can’t destroy the world that would make baby sad…
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A man’s friend before the crew’s captain.
#mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#captain curly#curly mouthwashing#spoilers#taking what i said on twt but#curly isn’t necessarily evil#but he isnt entirely good either#hes so caught up in being a perfect captain and trying to find the best possible solution#that he ends up neglecting his own crew#very realistic reaction in a very disheartening way
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Dc x DP Prompt #8: Best Friend’s Brother
Preface: this prompt can be used with different characters but I’m writing it as Dead on Main bc that’s my favorite. Also the colleges I mention are real colleges from the DCU
~~~
Danny Fenton was 18 when he moved to Gotham for college.
It was the only place with a half decent engineering program that would take a kid with his record; drop in grades, unexplained absences, missing class, a disciplinary record, etc. Plus there was a decent saturation of both magic and ectoplasm in Gotham’s air. After he got accepted he decided to tell his parents he was Phantom. They reacted surprisingly well all things considered. They were horrified to learn they’d been hunting their son but it quickly turned into acceptance to listen to what he had to tell them. Now they turned their obsession from hunting ghosts to learning more about ghost more humanely. He also managed to get his former rouges to agree to call off any major shenanigans in favor of less destructive outlets. (He got Ember a TikTok and a YouTube channel, he set up a drag racing circuit in the realms for Johnny and Kitty, let Technus enter the internet as long as he stayed within Amity’s grid or help Ember manage her stuff, allowed Desiree grant wishes for Make a Wish Foundation kids so long as she didn’t horribly twist them, etc.)
Now with the town not at constant risk of danger and his parents agreeing to really handle any rouge ghosts, Danny could leave Amity with a clear conscience. His friends were also growing up and heading to their own colleges. Tucker was heading to Ivy University in New England, which rivaled MIT in terms technological prestige, and Sam decided on Vandermeer University in Pittsburg, which had a reputation for being a very liberal, anti-authority campus. Although their trio would be spread out, Danny found comfort in the fact that they’d all moved from the Midwest to the Northeast.
With promises to stay in touch a visit. Danny got set up in GCU’s dorms, ready to move into the next chapter of his life.
~
Danny Fenton was 20 when Tim Drake (age 19 but nearing 20) officially became one of his best friends.
They had been introduced to each other by their mutual friend Sebastian Ives for a new Warlocks and Warriors campaign. Their friendship extended beyond WnW when they ended up on the same Applied Physics and Mechanics class. It was cemented when they got pair up for a project in class and had to spend lots of time around each other.
Danny didn’t mind that Tim tended to be a bit flaky and Tim didn’t mind that Danny was possibly not 100% human. They didn’t ask each other too many questions about that stuff. They knew the other had something odd about him and that was fine with them. It was nice to have a causal friend they could be normal with, without being questioned about their more peculiar behaviors.
They officially became best friends when the built a Rube Goldberg machine with a working trebuchet within an hour of the three they had to complete it for their Applied Phys-Mech final. Danny introduced Tim to Sam, Tucker and Jazz. Tim introduced him to Steph, Tam, and Cass. They texted and hung out fairly often. They truly did consider each other one their best friends.
~
Danny Fenton is 22 when he meets Tim’s family.
Tim’s 21st birthday is coming up and he has plans with his family the day of and is going out with his friends, including a couple from out of town, that night. They want to take him out for his first drink and it’s fortunate timing since it’s the weekend so nobody has to worry about classes. Everyone who was going was already informed that Tim would be spending most of the day with his family before Steph and Cass would bring to the club everyone was meeting up at. Which is why it’s purely a coincidence when he runs into them at BatBurger during the lunch rush.
Danny had just picked up the part-time job to earn a little extra cash to pay for his hobbies. Tim new about it but didn’t know the exact location he worked. That’s why they were both presently surprised when they heard each others voices in the drive through. When they pulled up to window Danny saw his friend leaning over a tired looking black-haired man, trying to stick his head out of the drivers window to give Danny a maniacal grin.
He quickly introduced the other passengers of the car as his dad, Bruce, and three of his brothers Dick, Jason, and Duke. He mentioned he had a fourth brother, Damian, who was still at home. Danny couldn’t really see everyone all that well on account of they were inside a car but he happily greeted them as well. They laughed and Danny wished Tim a happy birthday saying he’d see him at his celebration later tonight before handing them their food. He could the rowdy boys ribbing their brother as the car drove away and Danny resumed his work.
That incident seemed to have opened a gate because now Tim felt more comfortable inviting him over when his brothers were still around the house. He occasionally talked about his family more and Danny returned the favor letting snippets of his own family spill a little more. Occasionally, he’d see Tim’s family outside of his interactions with Tim.
He’d run into Damian, and sometimes Bruce or Dick was with him, at the museum or in the park while the younger had been walking his dog and stopped to say hi a couple of times. He chatted with Dick a couple of times when they were both in line to get coffee at a cafe. He saw Duke on a college tour once and waved at him.
The family member he probably saw the most other that Tim (and by extension Cass) was actually Jason. He’d ended up ditching BatBurger to get some more practical experience at an apprenticeship at the auto shop Jason went to to get his motorcycle serviced. The two of them got along pretty well and would often make conversation when Jason was waiting on his bike to be ready or to get his bill.
At first is was small talk about little things like how he and Tim were doing in class or how their days were going but they soon grew to have genuine interests in each other. Jason let Danny talk about space and mechanics and even gave his own thoughts sometimes, once helping Danny realize he was over complicating the circuit board of the device he was building. In return Danny let Jason ramble to him about literature, even taking the initiative to read a book Jason mentioned so he could talk to him about it better. Their conversation tended to be on the briefer side but were always enjoyable to both parties.
Danny actually liked being around Jason a lot but didn’t really bring that fact up a lot around Tim as it didn’t seem necessary. Tim was pretty glad that Danny got along with his family but he preferred to keep them in separate places in his mind. Danny knew and respected that, only really mentioning that he’d seen them recently and that they’d told him to say hi on their behalf (or die in Damian’s case occasionally).
~
Tim Drake was 22 when he came to a horrific realization.
Well, perhaps horrific was a bit of an exaggeration. Tim wasn’t necessarily horrified by the revelation. In all honesty he didn’t know how to feel. He felt an odd mixture of protectiveness, possessiveness, confusion, and optimism(?).
You see, Tim and Danny had been hanging out in the campus center, studying and goofing off when he got a text from Jason saying he was coming to pick him up for family dinner at the manor since he was closest and Dick was busy picking up Duke and Damian from their after school clubs.
“What’s up?” Danny asked him curiously.
Tim set his phone on the table and started putting his stuff away. “My brother is coming to pick me up for family dinner so I gotta head out soon.”
“Ah well I should probably get going too. Tell Dick I said hi.”
“Actually, it’s Jason. Dick is picking up Duke and Damian,” he said shoving his textbook into his bag.
“Oh? That’s nice of him. Hey do you wanna just head out together?” Danny asked, fidgeting with his hoodie strings.
Tim noticed a slight strain in Danny’s voice at the mention of Jason but didn’t comment. He just nodded his head sure and walked outside with Danny. They got out to the street when Tim realized he’d left his phone in the library. He faced palmed and asked Danny if he could hold his stuff so it wouldn’t slow him down as he ran back to the campus center to get his phone. Danny agreed to and hold his stuff and wait for Jason while Tim went back.
After getting his phone Tim started heading back to where he left Danny when he saw that Jason had arrived that Jason had arrived and was talking to Danny. He was about to call out to them when he noticed several things in quick succession. Danny was fidgeting with his hoodie, something he tended to do when nervous. The tips of Danny’s ears were a light shade of pink (it isn’t cold out yet?). Danny looked deeply absorbed in his conversation with Jason in a way that reminded Tim of how he talked about space. And Jason seemed just as absorbed in the conversation as well.
The gears in Tim’s head went into overdrive and he realized ‘Ah- Danny has a crush on Jason’. His eyes widened as his head whipped around to examine Jason again. He saw a look of genuine fondness in his eyes. Thus Tim was confronted with the aforementioned horrific realization and complicated feelings. Tim didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or both.
‘My dumbass best friend has a crush on my brother. And worse(?), my idiot brother returns those feelings.’
#dc x dp#long post#dead on main#danny fenton#tim drake#jason todd#jason todd x danny fenton#danny and tim are bffs#Danny has a crush on his best friends older brother#he hasn’t realized this quite yet#Tim isn’t sure how to feel about this#Jason probably likes Danny too but also doesn’t realize it#Tim is the only one who is aware and suffering#he has to make a choice:#wingman his idiot friend and idiot brother#or hoard his friend to himself#Strega’s dc x dp prompt
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(DCXDP) The obligations of a rogue versus those of a parent (Pt. 5)
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Tw: torture scene (GiW agent receiving), general angst, canon-typical violence (DC), nobody is having a good time
Will be crossposted to AO3 eventually
(Masterlist/subscription post)
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It was pretty easy for Danny to forget that Dr. Crane was a rogue at times.
Most of the time he wasn’t comically evil, like what he’d expect of a Gotham rogue. He was helping Danny, even if only because he didn’t want to be taken in by the GiW as well. He was even downright nice most of the time, or at least neutral.
Sure, he had a strange obsession with fear and psychology, but that wasn’t really out of the ordinary for Danny. It didn’t feel like living with a rogue, just like…staying with a distant relative, or something.
He seemed like just an ordinary person.
Today, though, Danny was brought back to reality.
The GiW agent they’d tracked down together writhed on the ground, screaming in pain and terror. Scarecrow was sat a few feet away, setting up a syringe of the antidote he’d made.
After a few more moments, he injected the man with the antidote, watching him like a hawk the entire time.
Suddenly, the man surged forward, lunging at Scarecrow with a feral scream.
Unluckily for him, though, he was still weak from the fear toxin in his system, and from the beatings he’d received prior. Scarecrow easily wrestled him to the ground, settling himself on the broad part of the agent’s back with a vice grip on one of his arms.
“Let’s try again,” he said sharply, all of the warmth Danny had grown used to gone from his voice. “Where is the GiW base of operations?”
The agent took several shuddering breaths before spitting at Scarecrow, defiance and hatred written all over his face.
For just a moment, the room was utterly silent.
“Fine, have it your way.”
Scarecrow began to twist the man’s arm further. It wasn’t long before the agent began to squirm, then writhe, beneath him. Danny’s stomach churned.
“You know,” Scarecrow began, almost conversationally, “there are plenty of jobs that one can get without the use of their legs, especially with the level of education you have. Anything that doesn’t involve hard labor, really.”
The man’s face was beginning to turn red in his struggle not to scream. He took in gasping breaths, the way that his mouth moved almost reminding Danny of a goldfish.
(He felt awful for the comparison, but it was true.)
“However,” Scarecrow continued, “I find you’d be rather hard-pressed to find a job without the use of your arms. Especially in a place like Gotham, where you can always be replaced by someone eager to do your job for even less money. Of course, you could most likely coast off of savings and severance pay for a while, but…”
He leaned closer to the man’s head, his voice lowering.
“Would you be able to live like that? To live with yourself, if you no longer have a purpose?”
He allowed the agent a few seconds of rest before increasing the pressure on his arm. The agent gasped, letting out a strangled hiss. His arm bones were making fascinating noises in response to the strain. Danny felt sick.
“You seem like a rather driven young man. I’m sure your family would hate to see you unmotivated, directionless. Would they resent you, do you think?”
“Fuck you, you—”
The man was cut off by his own scream as Scarecrow finally allowed his arm to break, audibly splintering into thousands of useless shards of bone.
He had the exact pressure memorized. Clearly, he had done this before.
This was wrong. This was wrong.
Shouldn’t Danny step in, do something?
“That won’t heal cleanly. Even with the best medical care in the world, you’ll end up with permanent damage.”
The man below him wheezed and sobbed, choking on air as Scarecrow let go of his arm carelessly, letting it flop back onto the ground.
“Just the sort of thing something like you deserves,” Scarecrow hissed, his voice cold.
“You tortured a child, and you enjoyed it. You laughed with your friends about it. In your notes, one of your friends complained about the screaming,” Scarecrow brought his leg around, grinding his boot into the man’s broken arm. He howled in agony, writhing uncontrollably.
“Was it inconvenient to him, do you think? Too loud? If you were joking about it, clearly you thought so, too. I could fix that as well.”
He drew out another needle, this one once again filled with fear toxin.
“Scarecrow, wait,” Danny choked out.
Scarecrow turned to look at him.
Even his posture was different than usual. He looked… stiff, more like an animal than a man. When he tilted his head at Danny in a silent question, it looked like something in his neck had snapped, his head lolling to the side.
Danny wondered if he was consciously moving like that, or if it was habit at this point.
“You—we don’t have to do this. We can get information some other way, right? You don’t have to…”
Danny looked down at the GiW agent below Scarecrow. He didn’t even have it in him to glare up at Danny like he had before. Instead he laid limply on the ground, tremors rolling through his body uncontrollably.
“We’ve exhausted every other option and you know it,” Scarecrow said, his voice low, “this is the only way we can move forward.”
“Still, I—I don’t,” Danny swallowed, his throat tight, “this isn’t—this isn’t right. Isn’t there some other way to do this? Like—a truth serum, or something?”
“Truth serums are notoriously unreliable. They’re almost as bad as lie detectors. We’re much more likely to get a reliable result from this.”
Danny just stared at the GiW agent and his splintered, ruined arm. He began to weakly wriggle in Scarecrow’s grasp, which was graciously ignored.
He vaguely remembered himself doing the same thing when he was on the operating table; even if he knew there was no chance of escape, he still thrashed and screamed, desperate to get away. The jagged I-shaped incision on his torso felt uncomfortably warm.
What was there left to say?
“The Bat does the same thing at times, you know,” Scarecrow said, “him and the rest of his brood. By using my toxin, I’m actually lessening the amount of permanent damage that I’m doing. Physically.”
“Still, that doesn’t make it right,” Danny said desperately. “Even if—even if everyone in the world did this, it wouldn’t make it right.”
Scarecrow hummed.
They were both silent for a moment.
His next words were gentle, absurdly so when compared to the scene in front of him.
“I would love an alternative. But…”
He shrugged, hand coming to rest on the break in the GiW agent’s arm. Even without applying any pressure, the man stopped squirming immediately.
“There aren’t any other options,” Danny repeated, his voice flat and his body numb.
“Yes,” Scarecrow said. “I’m sorry.”
There was a pause. No one moved a muscle. Eventually Scarecrow spoke again, his voice strangely empty.
“You can stand outside and keep watch, if you’d like. At such a short distance their radars won’t pick us up.”
Danny said nothing, leaving the room silently.
He sat outside for quite a while.
He was grateful that Scarecrow had, with his help, dragged the agent to one of his previous hideouts. It was soundproofed, after all.
He was glad that he didn’t have to hear the rest of what Scarecrow did to the man.
After what felt like an eternity, Dr. Crane left the building, joining him outside. He guided Danny back to his beat up old truck and they drove home in silence.
“Did you at least…do you know where they are, now?” Danny asked as they entered the apartment, his voice small.
“They didn’t share the details of all of their locations with any one person. I know where one of their locations are, but not their main base of operations.”
Danny felt disgusted. With himself, with Dr. Crane, with the GiW.
He was disgusted by the agent, too. Did he just hate the restless dead so much that he would prefer to be tortured than to give them the upper hand? Did he really think he was in the right?
Was there a chance that he was?
Danny felt very, very small, and very stupid. Stupid and weak and cowardly.
“Danny,” Dr. Crane spoke, his voice soft.
“I’m truly sorry that this is happening to you. I really, truly wish that you didn’t have to endure my company. I…”
He fell quiet. Danny wondered if he was just saying this to pacify him, or if he truly meant it. He wondered if it really mattered in the end.
After a few moments of silence, Dr. Crane sighed, looking truly pained.
“I don’t know. I’m sorry.”
Danny was quiet.
“I’m going to bed early,” he finally said, turning away and leaving without a second glance.
—
#dcxdp#dc x dp#dp x dc#dpxdc#dp x dc crossover#dc x dp fic#liminal scarecrow#this kinda shit is how the fic got its name btw.#like yeah obviously it’s also in reference to the contrast between crane and danny’s actual parents#but it’s also about doing what you need to survive vs what is best for the people dependent on you#tshirt that says I love moral quandaries I love when no matter what you do you lose I love torturing characters#Scarecrow: why isn’t torturing everyone who wronged you healing this child. it worked for ME#meanwhile Danny is undergoing the torment nexus#and red hood is doing some doomguy shit#getting swarmed by GiW agents bc he’s one of the only ones showing up on the radar#Tucker voice Wow Mr red hood this is kinda fucked up. can I use the bat computer to hack the pentagon btw
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‘Bedtime Stories’
#Laboons memory isn’t the best#yorki was loud so he’s drawn larger sometimes#crocus clearly doesn’t like them#but loves them#and hates them#they left their baby… why#one piece#Laboon#crocus#humming brook#brook#op brook#thriller bark#calico yorki#John one piece#MiZUTA Madaisuki#mizuta twins#Mizuta Mawaritosuki#comic#rumbar pirates
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I love the relationship between Ra’s and Tim in the Red Robin run because it reads fundamentally as an unrequited crush. Between an old man who is so rich he will never spend all his wealth, a man who is considered to be charming in the same way a snake is, a man who is more powerful than the majority of other villains just on the strength of his legacy alone.
And.
A seventeen-year-old boy who has not slept in three days since the last time someone drugged him, has not showered in three weeks unless you count being thrown into a river, has not cleaned his room since he was three and his parents still payed attention to him.
And when I tell you which one has the crush on the other, that’s it, that’s the ultimate punchline, DC may never reach these peaks of comedy ever again.
#the inane ramblings of a madman#dc#batman#dc comics#red robin#tim drake#ra’s al ghul#ra’stim#rastim#this isn’t really shippy but like#these two are the funniest ship#ra’s being attracted to bruce?#expected reasonable an obtainable figure to sleep with like you’re going to kill each other understandable#ra’s being attracted to tim?#weird odd strange what do you mena you tried to flirt by telling him he reminded you of his mentor#honestly the best part of the red robin run#is ra’s believing in tim when literally every other character#including those tim is actually friends with#do not believe in tim#and blah blah symbolism blah blah betraying the only person who trusted him not to betray him#it’s hilarious#so fucking funny i can’t even begin to explain#tf was red robin other than a prolonged comedy skit
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TW: discussion of something approximating suicidal tendencies but with the usual crack programming of this blog
“Ah, High General Windu”, says Fox, pleasantly. “So we meet again.”
High General Windu raises an unimpressed eyebrow at him, Fox thinks, though it’s getting hard to tell with all the blood rushing to his head. “If I let you go, will you try to throw yourself out of another window?”
Fox makes a vague shrugging motion - or tries to, anyways. It’s hard to tell where any of his limbs are going, hanging upside down in the air as he is. “I am willing to discuss terms.” A bridge will do just fine.
Impossibly, the High General’s eyebrows climb even further up his forehead. “A compromise, then, esteemed Commander.” And so, he righths Fox the head way up in the air, but leaves him floating just above the ground, at which point several painted shells come skidding around the corner followed by billowing robes and screeches.
“WHAT”, says Kote, calmly, “THE BANTHA-KARKED, FORCE-LOVING KRIFF, FOX.”
“You’ll short out your helmet mic”, Fox advises him, sagely. Fondly, he thinks back to decimating his own on only his second time in the newly-christened official Coruscant Guard Scream Closet. He’d just received the comm about the Zillo Beast being transported to 000, and made sure to take his bucket off thereafter to improve the quality of his closet time.
High General Windu’s face does something complicated between sympathy and constipation.
Because the Galaxy doesn’t hate Fox enough already and Cody wasn’t enough on his own, Wolffe elbows his way through their batch to plant himself in front of him, shoulders squared and shaking with repressed rage. “If you try that again, dickhead”, he begins, in a low growl that quite frankly sounds more cringe that intimidating, “I’m going to resurrect you and then kill you again.”
“Ah, Wolffe”, Plo Koon says, in his deep, shivery timbre, “Remember our conversations about effective conflict resolution and communication of needs?”
Wolffe’s eyes narrow at Fox, because all non-Guard are sweet summer children who walk around buckets off on 000 like absolute lunatics. Fox prays they never have to find out why that’s a bad idea. “I feel”, his ori’vod presses out between clenched teeth, “that if you make me watch you throw yourself out of another window, I’m going to jump after you and strangle you on the way down, you little bitch.”
“That’s fair”, says Fox, and watches High General Kenobi bury his face in his hands. Wolffe twitches in place and makes an aborted groaning noise, the hypocrite.
“Excuse me, High Marshall Commander Fox, but I fail to see what’s so dire about this situation that the Jedi High Council and your brothers cannot help you solve”, says Windu, the only sane one left on this Force-forsaken bloated corpse of a planet. Behind the gaggle of Jedi and ori’vode already gathered in front of Fox, the rest of them come veering around the corner in a commotion that’s quite frankly embarrassing. High General Yoda is mounted on Skywalker’s back like he’s a race-Eopie, which is Fox’ only consolation.
He got up this morning at 0300, bleary-eyed and with a pounding headache as always, and all was right in the world. And then Fox got called into the Jedi High Council’s chambers and was ceremoniously informed that in the wake of Chancellor Palpatine’s unfortunate demise (hah), and through the emergency state of the Senate, as well as several invented promotions foisted on Fox to make the delegation of any and all paperwork less shady, he was now next in the chain of command and-
Well, Fox is the acting Chancellor, in short.
Haha, he had said, and been meet with several seconds of silence, until it got both awkward and exceedingly painful. Wait, he’d said. You’re kriffing serious.
Kriffing serious, we are, had said High General Yoda, and thus Fox launched himself out the first best window with a maniacal cackle of, you’ll have to catch me first!
And catch him, High General Windu sure did.
“The will of the Force this is”, Yoda interrupts Fox’ train of thought. He scans him thoughtfully from beneath his wizened brow, and hems to himself. “Shake things up, this will. Determine the fate of the Galaxy, this shall. A feeling, I have, that a good Chancellor you will make. A better one, hmmm.”
“That’d be high praise, if not for the fact that a dead lemming would make for a better Chancellor than the last one”, says Fox, drawing and indignant gasp from Skywalker. He doesn’t bother with either that or the green goblin’s cackle, lost in the deep sense of resignation that settles over his shoulders like a suffocating blanket.
“Alright, then, get me Thorn on the comm. As my first act in office, I’m firing all the Jedi. No offense, but you’re kind of a disaster. Then, someone get me to the Chancellor’s office, I’m calling Dooku to let him know the war’s off. And please get me Judicial, they’ll be up all night working on my datafolders - I’m having the Senate arrested.”
“Who - is - arresting - “, Bly pants, hands on his knees from where he’s just come sprinting around the corner with his Jedi.
Underneath his bucket, Fox smiles a smile that’s all teeth. “The Senate”, he says, sweetly, wondering if he’s just imagined the shiver that’s gone through the room. “I’m suing the Senate, and taking them all into temporary custody for abuse of sentient rights.”
#commander fox#corrie guard deserves better#sw tcw fic idea#look fox has been planning this coup for a while okay he just needed to adjust and get over the initial reaction of Fuck No#if they’re sentient enough for their signatures to have authoritative quality on military reports and to be promoted to chancellor on a#technicality then they’re sentient enough for everything to be victims of systemic oppression and abuse#fox still does not want this position and will yeet it the literal second bail organa isn’t watching his step religiously#a custody battle ensues between Corries and GAR ori’vode for who grts to tackle him (affectionate)#it is solved by getting a bigger room so they can all do it at once#thorn makes a point of jamming his elbow in some soft places. cody and co are disgruntled but accepting of this#he has a bit of a point admittedly and wolffe has to promise not to threaten murder again#plo makes him go to another Effective Interpersonal Communication Seminar (it’s the fifth that year)#anakin is initially outraged on padme’s behalf but she could literally not be happier#fully supportive of being arrested in the name of Fox’ Good#we can still do book club though right she asks. visiting hours don’t apply to chancellor probably#fox shrugs. it’s his next act as chancellor#count dooku: live slug reaction#the systemic issues fuelling the war cannot be solved with a phone call but in absence of someone with two braincells to rub together#the whole thing loses steam and strategy steadily#look it was always a sham that house of cards of a republic/confederacy was waiting to be blown over by literally any light breeze#general grievous implodes from pure rage. legend has it his last word was KENOBAAYYYYY. wipes away tear#thorn laughs so hard when he hears all this he cracks a rib#another day another post of utter nonsense#ponds makes sure to give his fox’ika a hug as soon as he’s floated down bcs ponds is the best#which is why he didn’t get it in the last ficlet for anyone wondering#the only functional one#much like mace windu
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WHAT IS UP WITH THE HOGWARTS LEGACY FANDOM?????????????
I am so fucking fed up with this fandom & honestly it makes me lose any desire to post anything here anymore.
So many people here look at EVERYTHING as a damn competition and it’s NOT. It should be a place for people to brainrot together, talk about theories, and enjoy seeing what other people draw and write etc. Have I sometimes felt insecure bc I don’t get as many notes as other people?! Yes of course…but I always focus on the connections and the lovely people I’ve met and like talking to bc that’s why I post in the first place. I didn’t spend 4 months posting my fic to 10 kudos and 1 comment with basically no feedback bc I care about popularity😆😆
I’ve never been part of a fandom before this one but honestly everything feels so immature here, especially lately. Is it NORMAL to send hate to people who interpret the characters differently than you?! Or send hate to people who ship something you don’t like???? Is it NORMAL to start a confessions blog that’s for people to vague post about others & give everyone reading it anxiety??? (And NO, it’s not “leveling the playing field” wtf). Is it NORMAL to be so close minded, that you’re always trying to start shit with other people?!!??
It is SO FUCKING EXHAUSTING & honestly I try my hardest to NOT feed into any negativity and I’ve never posted the hate I’ve gotten because quite frankly, it’s ridiculous.
I genuinely love seeing what all of you post and always try to comment when I have the mental energy, because I love having a sense of community and you’re all very talented.
#also if anyone is in contact with asallowgrave please tell him#I have a gigantic monster comment I was about to post when I found out he deleted everything😭😭😭😭😭😭#genuinely the best writer I came across in FOREVER & it makes me so sad#anyways most of you are absolutely lovely & I love that I’ve met you and that we talk#but some of you need a huge check on your attitude#like wtf is up with all of this#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fandom#sorry this is incoherent probably but like#I woke up and I saw so much shit in my 10 min scrolling this morning#and this isn’t about anyone in particular bc I don’t know who’s sending and spreading all of this hate#this is supposed to be a fun space for a hobby damn
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HELP GUYS I CAN’T BREATHE—
ASLKDEBJEAOWIDSLKB WHAT THE FUCK 💀
#bruno bucciarati#bruno buccellati#vento aureo#jojo’s bizarre adventure#jjba#none of this is true at all by the way. Bruno told me so.#lolllll#UM. is this satire? I don’t know if it is… Uhhhh do I want this to be satire? to be honest no—it’s way funnier if it isn’t#but i mean—he’s just a character. if u want him to be gay then he’s gay ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#jjba shitpost#jjba part 5#jjba golden wind#jojo no kimyou na bouken#found this on reddit. r/shitpostcrusaders to be exact.#honestly this is the best thing to come out of it in a long time#that subreddit is mostly so unfunny
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Michael shows FNAF movie Mike his son,,
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#mike schmidt#michael afton#fnaf helpy#helpy#fnaf#fnaf movie#fnaf pizzeria simulator#sister location#fnaf fanart#five nights at freddy's#THE BABY boy the sweetest lil guy helpy is here 💜#I adore Helpy and been meaning to draw him for awhile!#finally Michael shows his son#Michael has no fear of lawsuits cause he has the best lawyer (Helpy)#Mike isn’t ready for that though#he’s gonna have to be cause Freddy’s get lawsuits often#BUT why does that matter look at helpy 💜💜💜 he’s all that matters
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#this guy is soooo normal about a cute boy talking to his platonic best bro#THE WAY HE JUST SULKS WHENEVER MONTY SHOWS UP#FROM THE MOMENT NIKO SAYS ‘oh he can definitely see edwin ;)’ CHARLES IS LIKE I FUCKING HATE THIS KID#AND HE JUST STEPS IN FRONT OF EDWIN TO INTRODUCE HIMSELF AND THEN JUST SPENDS THE REST OF THE SCENE SO PISSY#HES SO MAAAAAAAAD#JUST FUCKING POUTING AND GIVING A STINK FACE#he is never ever pissy towards someone who isn’t posing imminent risk to ppl he loves like esther cat king david night nurse etc#but the immediate rage towards monty just UGH#jealous charles means so much to me bc it’s openly stated how jealous edwin is but like edwin gets to make charles jealous back it’s so goo#and no it’s not the same with the cat king ok the cat king is a fucking predator#that’s not jealously that’s protectiveness#and i’m sure some jealously bc someone flirting with edwin but it’s not the same it’s a grown ass man being a fucking creep to his person#i desperately want crystal to take charles aside & go#‘you know that behaviour when someone is flirting with your best friend isn’t normal platonic behaviour right’#i need season 2 and i will not give up on her#charles rowland#edwin payne#monty the crow#yeet my deet#dead boy detectives#dead boy detective agency#dbda#dbdshow#save dead boy detectives#renew dead boy detectives#revive dead boy detectives#dbd4ratch#yeet my deebd#payneland
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Good eye!
#project sekai#ruikasa#rui kamishiro#tsukasa tenma#mine#tsukasa#rui#my art#hand hurts. they are so irritating.#if you want the minimal context that’s in my mind palace:#in this they’re not dating don’t know the feelings aren’t platonic yet they just do this when they want to read the same book#& rui reads faster so he comes up with observations to point out so his boy best friend will go wow so insightful so smart#someone asks nene if they’re dating and she coughs so hard she chokes & then says she doesn’t know them#off to tier more and then sleep. should I have posted this at a time that isn’t 1 o clock sure yeah but who cares
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Harem AU where Shen Yuan transmigrates into one of Bingge’s wives shortly after he returns from the other world. After a brief (and frantic) realization that’s she’s a woman (and always has been, but we’re not getting into that right now), she delves deep into this harem drama she’s been thrust into. It’s not until she comes face to face with Luo Bingge that she realizes just WHICH harem drama she’s living, and immediately sets about making his life as good as she can manage. Oh, harem infighting is causing strain on his containers? Simply nudge Liu Mingyan and Sha Hualing into working together to manage the harem. The Northern Desert is hinging on disaster because of clerical neglect? One of her harem sisters has a brother who’s in need of a job, no stress. Luo Binghe’s kids are unruly and there’s no clear successor? She has a college degree and a little sister, teaching a dozen or so demonic children is a breeze! All in the name of giving Luo Binghe the time to find a new wife, of course, one who will disperse with the need for this sprawling harem, and once that happens she’s free to travel and document monsters to her hearts content.
#it’s all fun and games until one of her students calls her ‘mom’#Eventually Luo Binghe comes to realize that he has the time to… relax?#His wives are no longer fighting at every possible convenience mostly due to Liu Mingyan and Sha Hualing ruling with an iron fist.#Their fathers and brothers on his council are less pushy less demanding and he hasn’t had to behead anyone in weeks.#Mobei-Jun has sequestered himself in the Northern Desert with the clerk he picked up a month ago#but he doesn’t need to deal with that right now#And… his children are going to school?#sure he had teachers before#the best money could buy#but none of them could get his kids to behave#now they’re… sitting in a full day of lessons#and learning both human AND demonic cultivation??#and politics and etiquette and biology and math and and and#They’re being taught by one of his wives who never gave him a child but treats every brat as if they’re one of her own#And… hey that’s a familiar smile half hidden behind a fan isn’t it?#wit writes#bingqiu#svsss#bingyuan#binggeyuan#trans Shen yuan#I just need to make that my calling card lmao
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