#very realistic reaction in a very disheartening way

[evilresidentz]

A man’s friend before the crew’s captain.

[homoeroticgrappling]

With both Danhausen and Ethan Page recently announcing they're openly booking indie shows because they want the opportunity to wrestle, can we please have a conversation about how few people on AEW's roster get to actually do things and what a crying shame it is for everyone involved??

More under the cut so I don't clog the dash

At least when they used to run Dark/Dark Elevation and upload them to youtube it meant fans could see their favourites wrestle even if they weren't getting Dynamite time, some people were Dark staples and it gave wrestlers a great space to develop and show their skill as well as being a way for fans to form attachments to people on the roster not getting as much TV screentime

It's so disheartening talking to non-AEW wrestling fans who are curious about the company and telling them about your favourite wrestlers, then having to give match recommendations from the indies to check out because most of the talent on the roster is lucky if they get more than 5 matches a year on AEW (especially if you're after more than squashes and huge multi-person matches where they're spacefillers for the people who are the Actual Focus)

Not everyone can be the top talent, I get that. AEW just seems to use mostly the same people regardless of if they're the A-list or bottom of the card, which means the rare opportunities we get to see other people means those wrestlers have to try and win over the audience every time because they get forgotten and have no opportunity to build momentum or fan support, let alone tell any kind of story. It's sad watching someone from the roster finally get some TV time again only for most fans to go "who are they" about someone who's been with the company for ages

It also means that when injuries happen and multiple fan favourites who were getting more screentime aren't able to wrestle, there's less people who can step up and fill that void because fans aren't able to easily form a connection with the majority of the roster because you have to actively make an effort to seek them out. I watch everything AEW put out, and still there's people on the roster I barely know. For people who watch everything televised they're still missing out because of online only clips that never get shown to the majority of the AEW audience, there's so many great promos that make me really excited about a particular wrestler that most people never get to see in action. Anyone who is only tuning in to one show a week has no hope of connecting with the wider roster

When I got into AEW, I decided to start watching the live stuff as it aired and simultaneously rewatch everything AEW put out from the beginning until I'd caught up, but realistically most people don't have the time to do that. Unfortunately, doing this is the only way I've seen most of the roster do anything! It sucks as a fan to wait for a card announcement knowing your favourites aren't gonna be on it because they never are, and it sucks just as much for the wrestlers. Becoming All Elite should be an incredible opportunity to reach a wider audience, to show people what you can do and it's a shame for the fans and the roster that for most people that isn't happening. It's damaging the company and it sucks the enthusiasm out of your fanbase and your wrestlers

I miss Dark/Dark Elevation. I want to see everyone get an opportunity to make me love them, make me hate them, impress me with what makes them unique. AEW right now is at a point where if you dislike certain people/factions and aren't interested in watching those specific matches/promos, if they're some of the people getting major screentime you might as well not bother with half the shows because they're going to be there constantly. I say this as someone who has very few things in AEW that for me personally have go away heat, but look at the reaction to when we have to endure yet another 10 minute Callis promo... All I see is "free X wrestler from this storyline" or "this could've been a women's match." I'm sure there must be people out there who love it, but I don't personally know anyone who actually enjoys it, which is one of the major downsides of giving a huge platform to specific people with slots on Dynamite and Collision, while making everyone else fight for scraps. Seeing people you love constantly getting passed over in favour of the same people every time makes people bitter, and not just the audience at home. Fans deserve better and so do the wrestlers

I will say as an aside, thank you RJ City for doing SO much heavy lifting with Hey! EW to allow wrestlers a chance to showcase their personality and give fans a chance to connect with people who maybe aren't getting the opportunity to reach an audience on AEW programming. Every single episode of that show makes me have a more positive opinion of the wrestler featured than I had going in and someone I didn't care about has won me over on more than one occasion, I sincerely hope it continues so we can eventually see the entire roster on there

[atsoraasayoma]

Hi! I just found your page, and as a Takari shipper, I really appreciate what you do!

I bring you a topic to analyze! Recently I've been thinking about something that I haven't seen discussed anywhere, and that is that if you look at the children of the chosen ones in the epilogue, the oldest ones are Yolei's and Ken's, and then Hikari's (???).

Taking into account that the epilogue takes place in 2027 and her daughter (or son?) looks about 10 years old maybe, then let's say she only has about 5 years left between '02 The Beginning' and the birth of her child to meet someone, fall in love, date and perhaps get married (I mean, it's not necessary to get married to have a child). That's a long time I know, and she could still meet someone between that time, date and then get married in a space of 3 years or so, but it sounds a bit accelerated. Could it be that by the time of the last movie, she's already meeting someone, going out to bars and fooling around? See where I'm going?

I would like to know what you think about it? :)

Hi there! Thanks for consulting with me about this topic friend. For one, I don’t really see Hikari going to bars by herself. She is very cautious unless going through emotional distress, but if one of her friends were there specifically Takeru or Miyako I think she would allow herself to get a little buzzed but not full on wasted and make those kinds of decisions.

To be perfectly honest I have a hard time seeing Hikari dating anyone because it takes a long time for her to feel comfortable. She’s great with children of course, but when it comes to romance I think that would prove to be difficult. She has to learn to confide in people. So if she has close friends and went to a mixer or something, maybe but she would have to have the approval of her friends first. She may be timid at times, but she is smart. With Takeru’s training I’m sure she could talk her way out of trouble what with how she seemed to learn how to tease from him.

Due to her past I think she’s better than before about making personal choices but this is usually in a group setting when it comes to decisions. I am sure she has learned from both Takeru and Miyako and the hearts of the kidnapped children in zero two. Oh, and Tailmon as well.

A part of me strongly believes that she would end up with Takeru and we are being played until the end of this. I spent quite sometime trying to analyze eye colors and heritage and how their kids could have blue eyes and the other has brown eyes which was disheartening…

…but then I remembered, hey this is anime. Does everything absolutely have to be in alignment for it to work? I don’t think so with a hint of salt.

We have to be realistic, but omission is neither evidence nor falsehood.

I try to look at trends, yet since we don’t know the names of most of the Digidestined spouses or seen them we’re not getting the full picture. So, we need to focus on what we can see.

That was just the introduction. So here are my thoughts.

Whoever Hikari dates would need some kind of approval from her brother. He’s still protective of her. He would also need to be approved by her other friends -especially Miyako who is her confidante. She would also like to know Takeru’s reaction since they were childhood friends.

So she would control her environment before she takes any hasty emotional decisions.

I think you’re right timing wise as far as the canonicity of the children being born.

Yet, even after considering what is highly likely I want to give proper credence to omission in the Takari case.

What’s fascinating about this pairing is what we can draw from their constantly being around each other. They grow, they support each other, they start to have feelings in Tri, and by the time we get to Kizuna they are in sync literally lockstep (from the limited time we see them.)

All of this is hammered down even further when we get to the 2nd dialogue script in 02 to the Beginning Movie where they literally are making up stories together on the spot with their Digimon and just literally leading Ken on with their wild stories.

(This also got me thinking maybe Hikari gave Takeru idea to write about for future novels)

Then in that same movie Hikari seems to have front passenger seat privileges, is extremely calm about Takeru’s erractic driving which tells me she is used to it, and lastly, and this is the most important point:

They are still extremely close. Even more so than their DNA digivolving partners. I can’t say the same for Ken and Daisuke.

If we take a step back and look at this from Digimon Adventure all the way through this new movie we can see a steady progression in the building of their relationship.

In the next movie then, I believe, so close to the ordained time of meeting their spouses, one of two things will happen.

They will be in good communication of course. But, what I can see is either Takeru will meet someone, introduce them to the group and Hikari will be supportive but heartbroken and then move on.

Or two, and this is my hope, that, they will finally cross that line to actually become lovers. It would have to be a truly desperate moment for them to see each other that way. They are both terrific at hiding their own feelings.

If we approach this canon wise the first option seems more likely.

But I have approached their relationship differently because so much of their relationship is based off those little details of expression, emotion, and proximity.

This is the last scene I have seen of them from the new movie that I remember. They still seem quite close.

In my opinion after such an emotional travail from the previous conflict it seems that each Digidestined ended up playing with the ones they are closest to.

Hikari could have chosen Miyako.Takeru could have not prepared himself and taken a hit from Iori but he was ready to take it from her.

In response to the last part of your question, I think, should Hikari have been dating Takeru would have made some reaction or comment about it. The same with Takeru. Like in Tri?

But, they didn’t. It wasn’t even brought up. And even if it was possible do you think another girl or guy would like their girl/boyfriend hanging out with their childhood friend in their car alone or at a restaurant?

Maybe it’s a cultural thing but you have to admit that can prompt all kind of misunderstandings.

So in summary I agree they could meet someone else by the time the last movie comes out and dash the hopes of the Takari faithful.

However, like in one of my previous posts I submit this picture as a reservation for Takari to be canon much as the vacant spot conspicuously behind Tentomon in front that seemed reserved for someone:

Mirrored Daisuke appears to have mirrored the missing spot between Sora and Yamato. Yet Takeru seems to have stepped forward as if he was meant to have been in that hidden spot besides Hikari in the first picture.

My hopes for Takaridom are banked on such observations. There is a constant ‘why’ when it comes to these two and their relationship.

One of my biggest ones is why that gap? And as this final movie comes across our path hopefully in the next five years we’ll get some kind of final answer just how far their relationship goes.

I just know that if they are still that close which I believe they will be one or the other will somehow have the other in the back of their minds when it comes to any romance. Which, is a most curious thing, isn’t it?

Would that not lead to, ‘If I’m always considering you/confiding in you does that mean we are the best of friends or could we be more than that?

…

And I am eagerly waiting for those emerging of emotions to manifest that both of them will realize.

(For further understanding of how Takari can be canon I recommend to read my fanfiction series The Digital Record Series on fanfiction.net or archiveofourown.com under Atsoraasayoma.)

I know this has been quite the long response but to me I can’t give a short answer or even a medium one. Much like their relationship you might need to take my opinion with a grain of salt or go back through the series and read between the lines.)

[thatgirl4815]

Side Character Roles/Functions

I've been thinking about the roles of side characters in this series and how they function as narrative devices. I have no specific point to laying them all out other than I think it's interesting to take a look back at what they've shown us about the main characters.

Yo & Plug - I'm putting them together because they're almost always in scenes together. To no one's surprise, I think they are intended primarily as a mirror to SandRay's relationship. What is first presented as a seemingly ideal relationship turns sour fast when Sand and Ray catch their breakup outside of the bar. Yo is afraid of commitment much in the same way that Sand is afraid of setting boundaries or rejecting people he cares about lest he lose them. In that way, Yo's behavior almost contradicts Sand's own--Yo is so afraid of losing someone that she opts to leave them first, while Sand is so afraid of losing someone even if they treat him badly. There are so many juicy comparisons to Sand and Ray's commitment to each other.

Atom - Also unsurprisingly, Atom functions as both a point of conflict for Boston and, more importantly, a turning point for Boston in his own self-reflections. What makes Atom different than Boston's other hookups is that Boston had established a genuine friendship with him prior. Not only that, but Boston was under the impression that Atom was 100% straight up to the point that Atom asked if he could try things out with Boston. Judging from Boston's reaction, the fact that this friendship leads to a sexual encounter is disheartening in that it once again affirms Boston's worth as coming from his body. This topic hasn't been explored in too much detail, but I like that the situation with Atom subtly hints at it. Additionally, we see Nick tell Atom that he knows what it's like to be in love with someone who doesn't love him back (right in front of Boston!) which is a poignant line for Boston to hear. Boston was already aware of this, but in light of his recent revelations, I think it hits harder to hear Nick say it in the interaction between AtomBostonNick.

Boeing - Boeing is here to ruin everybody's day. I think he serves multiple functions given that he is involved in multiple relationships (I'm sure he will have an important function in BostonNick's relationship as well judging from the Ep12 preview). For TopMew, Boeing is both another road block for them to move past and proof that though Mew wants to forgive Top, he still wants to take revenge against him. Boeing is a convenient way for Mew to take that revenge; Boeing even invites it. Mew deciding not to take the bait though is what allows him and Top to move forward. For SandRay, Boeing is a source of conflict that they must overcome too, but he also plays a very integral role in illustrating Sand's boundary issues.

April - April is here to be the unproblematic gf of the year. In my own personal opinion, I think she deserves better than Cheum. I do not think Cheum is a bad person, just like I don't think anyone in this series can be considered a bad person, but her behavior--especially with the Atom/Boston incident--frustrates me to no end. But back to April. I think her relationship with Cheum is important in that it remains fairly consistent even though it has its own issues. I'm glad they encountered some conflict to remain realistic and show the audience that not even the lesbians are safe from drama.

Moms/Dads - I won't go too deep into this since there are so many avenues (might be better-suited for a longer post), but moms and dads play an important role for many of the main characters, particularly Sand, Ray, Boston, and Mew (with variation of course). Contrasting the relationship that Ray had with his mom to Sand's mom/Mew's moms illustrates how Ray has been lacking in a familial support system for much of his life. On the other hand, Sand's father is an absent figure while Ray's father is only mostly absent, though he does care about saving Ray from his mother's fate. We also see small glimpses of Boston's father and Nick's father; Boston's father is an especially good indicator of the role of reputation, expectation, and even toxic masculinity in Boston's life.

[indignantlemur]

Writing process question: With a story as long and involved as Emigre, do you have a master plot plan with an idea of where things will go all the way till the end, or are you sort of making it up in sections as you go? Or somewhere in between?

Hello! I started out, some 12 years ago, with a nebulous plot idea and a bunch of characters with a broad idea for an actual story in the background. I knew where I wanted my characters to go, the big scenes I wanted to write, and I had only a vague notion about the ending.

That worked for me for the first little while, but then my computer died and I lost my vague guideline notes. After that I was completely lost and totally disheartened. Regrettably, this coincided with some very unpleasant happenings in my personal life, and ultimately I ended up stopping my writing entirely.

Since returning to writing, I've salvaged all of the plot points I can recall and I've actually sat down and written out a point-for-point roadmap. I've patched as many plot holes as I can with this roadmap, tried to account for all of the characters that have been mentioned even once, and have a very thorough accounting of what happens from now until the end of the story. This has actually been hugely helpful, and I find it a lot more productive than my old, off the cuff method of writing.

So, for example, I'll usually set up something like this:

Bulreeng Taal: Dagmar and Thelen go to the local festival. Mixed results. INCLUDE:

A. First Vrath-Thelen encounter, goes poorly ; "I just wanted to talk to her and walk her home -because I thought she was in danger- and I was an idiot. I forgot how words worked and came off like an ass." B. Differing reactions to Dagmar, nice positive feels and disappointing negative reaction C. Draw from [inspiration 1] and [inspiration 2] for the festival but keep it alien! Figure out colours/themes, traditions, lore! D. Themes of healing and moving on/letting go throughout E. Enemies-to-loves starting vibes? See if it fits. F. Dagmar and Thelen have a conversation about boundaries, Tha’an/Sannev politics, and making an effort. Establish bestie-dom! IMPORTANT SUBPLOT INFO: Plant seeds for Dagmar/Thelen, maybe Vrath/Thelen where applicable but don't break the chapter for it

2. Date with Shral! (NOTE: Same day as BULREENG TAAL.)

A. Shral and Dagmar chat; expand upon dynamic, emphasize themes of calming and settling each other. B. SHRAL LAUGHS. Great maple syrup heist, ridiculousness. C. Constellations and lore! Write up a draft of a creation story, figure out themes and tidbits. Contrast the Star Thief with the Great Maple Syrup heist? Skip if it breaks the flow. D. Dagmar's gear failure - look up details for hypothermia, cold shock, and reactions to sudden, extreme temperature drops. Make it realistic. Gear fails gradually, a little at a time, before abruptly cutting out. E. If it fits, revisit intimacy between Dagmar and Shral. Consider realistic hesitation and reasons for caution - for Dagmar especially. Work with limitations from that perspective. F. Character development point: Shral is more open during intimacy, versus closed off and stoic otherwise. Contrast important! G. Ruin an arbiter's day, drop hints about Shral, make Dagmar oblivious. INCLUDE: yellow flash, identification cards, autopilot. “What’s wrong, Esheth? You look like you’ve seen a sea spirit.” / “I think I pulled over an Am Tal operative for speeding today.” / “...Oh shit.” / “It gets worse.”

The important thing about setting up my notes this way is not to hold them up as hard and fast rules but as guidelines. Sometimes the dialogue I'd like to include doesn't quite work, or the scene progresses more organically if I skip a bit here or leave some exposition for later on.

Currently, I have the entire story mapped out until the end, with two story arcs to complete and a bunch of additional chapters as well for various bits of lead-up, lore, exposition, and development. I also have about a dozen side stories tentatively mapped out in a similar fashion, too!

Cheers, and thanks for the ask! <3

[quantum27]

reminding myself of things I liked in twin peaks the return because I'm disheartened by the ending

gordon's more realistic/modern depiction of hearing aids. Especially the turning up and down depending on the situation. It makes more sense that he's finally able to not be shouting constantly. Unrelated but the way he shouts to hear himself in all canon reminds me of my grandma who does that sometimes.

Diane's "fuck you (name)". I can just imagine her passive aggression in the office when she worked there but having a soft spot for coop. (Even if I don't care much for the romance also they're very sweet together for the brief like. Two scenes where they're actually okay together)

sonny-jim. he's like maybe one of the most understanding about his dad's disability tbh

Cooper's love for coffee still showing through the amnesia via reaching out for coffee with both hands and slurping as quickly as possible. I think I've done it with chocolate milk before :')

Matthew Lillard's performance

The mafia(?) Mobster (?) Brothers who despite their intro and the fact they plan to kill Dougie are like. Just nice guys ???

Hawk and Margaret's interactions. Especially The Last One which made me tear up. like. God these two were good friends.

Ed and Norma finally otp fr 🥰🥰🥰

Bobby being well adjusted but still kinda goofy. (No acknowledgement that he killed a guy but he's in law enforcement? I haven't read all the supplementary material yet )

GOD. Ben Horne being the long suffering well adjusted dude. It's such a contrast to his scheming in the original series. He's just Normal but also still retains his personality? Idk how to explain it. I always liked him in a villain way and it's nice to see his redemption just ended up with. Normal? I guess. Idk how to make it make sense.

JERRY BEING A WEED BUSINESS MAN

JERRY GETTING LOST IN THE WOODS WHILE HIGH

Mr. C/ Evil Coop was so amazing. I hated him and loved him. I do wish there were more hints of the insanity from the Hows Annie scene but the arm wrestling scene where he's like "this position is more comfortable don't you think.?" Is such a good scene.

Frank Truman's patience. "no this is his brother, Frank."

The scene with Andy and Lucy buying the seat for their study is such fucking domestic love I've ever scene. It reminded me of my parents like 10 years ago.

The way that the original music was used very carefully because this show is more quiet in terms of background music that it's like oh god.

Bobby's reaction to seeing Lauras evidence all over the table because 1. It's a contrast to his reaction at the funeral which was mostly anger 2. How else would you react to seeing all the literal evidence from you hs girlfriends murder case ?

Norma and Shellys relationship

Shelly getting on the front of that car. Milf moments. (Oh god saying that-)

Despite what follows after; Coopers triumphet return....(the return.?) Is great.

Anyway there's lots of stuff I liked despite things. Feel free to add your own likes in a reblog cause I missed tons of things obvs :)

[halforcdad]

Totally agree with you about Lucy! Tbh it’s been here since s1 but this fandom (especially on Twitter) have a Kate bias and treat Lucy awfully when they get the chance. And they were simply waiting for the shoe to drop so they could finally say oh she’s SO wrong for this since none of them seem to treat her like her own person with her own feelings. ESP with that scene from s1 that you said they’re comparing this too. So many people hated her for that and thought kacy was dead in a ditch afterward. I really don’t get it. But it’s also obvious with the way they advocate for more things about Kate (like back story, relationship/scenes with Jane, etc) but hardly ever say oh I wanna know about Lucy (when arguably lucy is more of a main since she’s the one on NCIS) . We all know why this is too even if people don’t wanna say it. Kate is the white one and Lucy is brown they will always villainize her actions first even when Kate was the one in the wrong (in s1). Anyways this ep is definitely ending with better communication for them so I am not sweating it. Twitter overanalyzes in the worst way like they always do

I do get the sense that some people were waiting with bated breath for the chance to point at Lucy and call her a hypocrite like some sort of gotcha! moment the minute she slipped up and didn't tell Kate something. Which is weird because you're a fan of this ship shouldn't you be rooting for both of the characters? 💀

The Kate bias is a very real thing. I feel like when 1x11 happened I mostly saw people blaming bad writing and giving Kate a pass for being a dumbass and saying it was out of character for her (when we'd only seen her...briefly for 7 ep at most so what's ooc and what's not at that point). But when Lucy isn't perfect, she doesn't get the same excuses or defense, the mistakes are all on Lucy and not on 'bad writing'. There doesn't seem to be a lot of 'putting yourself in her shoes' type sympathy for a lot of what Lucy was dealing with in S1 (like if I had to see my ex who hurt me badly everyday at work I would be in a state lol).

And God I felt like I was in the trenches after 1x20, both on twitter and on here because the reactions were wild Gonna try to be brief because I feel like I've spent a lifetime talking about it (because it's the best episode of s1 lolol), but that entire episode was about Lucy and her trying to move on, but being unable to because Kate still had such a huge effect on her (bc she loved her!) and still all the fandom focus was on Kate and how sympathetic she was! I think even if Kate showed up with a clean bill of health, she still would've been babied immensely because Lucy made her cry (even though they were both crying). The treatment Lucy got after that was truly disheartening. Like there was no room for nuance. As a poc, seeing everyone baby the white woman (and getting to ready to fight for her because she cried) even though she's the one who fucked up is very, hm, realistic lol. Lucy deserves way better.

You bring up a good point. The fandom goes crazy over Kate and Noah, but Lucy's family doesn't get the same level of speculation and fanfare. And we only got like 2 mentions of Noah in S1 vs. all the tidbits Lucy's dropped about her family. And of course I want to see Kate interact more with Pearl Team and develop friendships, but like we don't even know anything substantial about Lucy and Jesse's relationship or with her and Tennant for that matter. Those should probably take priority. The shows called NCIS: Hawai`i not FBI: Hawai`i lol.

If there really was a season to sweat over Kacy's relationship, it wouldn't be the season where they've been actively showing them working on themselves and being better with each other. It's like we didn't get an entire Whistler/Kacy love fest episode in 2x03 or something. Some people are quick to think the worst and go, 'ugh miscommunication is such a kacy thing'. We probably haven't been watching the same show this season then because they're clearly taking steps to fix that in just the first 5 episodes.

[realcube]

LEAVING MIDORIYA

part one (nsfw) | part two 

tw// mentions of toxic relationships, drinking & mention of a bombing

honestly, if you were given enough time you probably could’ve figured it out on your own — without the assistance of a psychiatrist — but exactly one appointment later, you were left with the disheartening realisation that you weren’t having ‘bad dreams’ and the marks on your body weren’t inflicted by yourself during slumber. eventually, the fact set in that it was your sweet, gentle fiancée who was the cause of all these things. 

this whole time, you were under the impression that you were the problem, that there was a malicious part of you that wanted to paint deku out to be some sort of villain; and now you were finally made aware that a villain is exactly what he is. 

it was a hard conclusion to come to but the initial wave of relief you felt was enough to make you act on it quickly, as the more you waited around and let the fact sink in, the more you doubted whether or not to take action. but reasoning isn’t what you need right now, you just need to get away from him. 

where will you go? you had no idea, but any where away from him is good enough. 

midoriya didn’t even get enough time to try fill your head with even more lies. you came marching into the apartment with the intention of ignoring everything he says and simply pack your stuff so you can leave. no matter how much he screamed, begged or yelled, it was like trying to hold a conversation with a brick wall hence he eventually gave in, leaving you to collect your things in peace as there was clearly no way he was going to get through to you. 

you left without another word — not even a goodbye — and you were sure to sneak your engagement ring out with you. although it made you sick to look at, realistically you might need the cash since as soon as you stepped outside your shared apartment with your shit in bags, you were officially homeless. 

no need to worry though, you had arranged to stay the night at a friend’s house until tomorrow morning, then you could catch the train to your parent’s. from there, you’d stay with them until you manage to find a new apartment within your price range. 

one problem; your friend just texted you saying that they have to retract their offer because their landlord doesn’t allow over two people to sleep in the same dorm, and they already have a roommate. very unfortunate but hey, what can you do? plus, they apologised and offered to pay for your hotel but you reassured them that their money wouldn’t be necessary. 

now sitting outside your old apartment complex, scrolling through your phone looking for the nearest hotel. since both you and deku were well-paid pro-heroes and bought a penthouse in a rather affluent area, it was no surprise that most of the hotels that were reasonably close were from 4-5 stars.

although a 5-star hotel room for one night really wasn’t necessary, the post-breakup adrenaline was telling you otherwise. it also told you that treating yourself to a shopping spree, getting wine drunk at a bar and then shuffling back to the hotel with mcdonald’s take-out was a great idea! 

those emotional discussions you had with complete strangers must’ve really gotten to you because when you opened your front camera to take some pictures, you immediately grimaced at the sight of your mascara staining your cheeks. you were lazing around in the hotel lobby surrounded by name brand gift bags — waiting for your room key — looking like that? how embarrassing. 

quickly wiping away your tears, you put on a pair of designer sunglasses you brought earlier to shield your smudged eye-makeup from the world. not that you cared what anyone in this damn lobby thought of you anyway, you were only going to be here for one night, after that you would never see most of these people again. or at least, that is what you thought.

out of the corner of your eye, you saw flashing lights which prompted you to take out your earbuds but once you did, you instantly regretted it as all you heard was screaming and yelling from the entrance. looking up, you noticed an average-looking guy wearing a skull tank top resembling the fashion sense of a middle schooler, being followed by a mob of screaming fans, paparazzi and gossip channel reporters. 

“dynamight! thank you for everything!”

“you deserve to be number one!” 

“we are here at scene, pro-hero dynamight has just been seen entering what appears to be his five star accommodation, wearing his signature blac--”

the loud noises were suddenly muffled as the doorman shut the entrance behind him, leaving things just as they were, except now there was a muscular blond man encircled by bodyguards staring daggers at you.

in any other situation, you would’ve just tried your best to ignore him but some of that liquid courage was beginning to get to you, so your reaction was to snarl right back at him, yelling across the hall, “take a picture, why don’t ya? it’ll last longer.”

only upon processing your reply did the man finally snap out of his trance and storm up to, being hastily followed by his guards who looked as though they were ready to throw down at any given moment, so of course you cowered back in your seat, apologies waiting on the tip of your tongue, ready to spill until his face was hovering centimetres away from yours. 

your throat ran dry at his unexpected action, your eyes scanning over his chiselled features through the tint of your glasses. in a turn of events, you were now the one speechlessly staring at him. then, a deep chuckle erupted from his throat, causing the shock to show on your expression. 

“i knew i recognised you! you’re stupid deku’s girlfriend- fiancée or whatever; i saw the invite for your wedding in my mail and i just got a look at your face before i threw it away. small world.” the blond continued to laugh, talking to you as if you were an old friend of his despite the fact you’ve never seen him before in your life, “anyway, you like a hot fuckin’ mess. where’s deku?” 

why was he talking to you so casually? and how dare he say that!

“first of all,” you started, peering over your glasses to gaze at his face without the rose tint but to no avail, you still had no idea who this man is. using the soles of your palm, you pushed him away by the shoulders as he was a bit too close for comfort, but that resulted in all his guard looking at you with murderous glints in their eyes. “deku and i broke up--”

“when?” he cut you off

“let me finish.” you glared at him, fixing your sunglasses, “we broke up this morning. secondly, who the fuck are you?”

the man looked like he was ready to burst out laughing once again until he had a visible realisation, “eh, well, we’ve never met before but i’m sure deku has told you about me. if not, you��ve probably seen me in the news; i saved around a thousa--”

“no, i’ve not watched the news for, like, the past six months.” this time, you cut him off with a mischievous smirk which you tried your best to conceal.

“bitch! let me fuckin’ finish!” he barked, then had a sudden change in demeanour as he let out a sigh, momentarily silent as he scanned the surrounding area, “i’m bakugo. kastuki.”

your reply of a blank stare spoke a thousand words.

“y’know, dynamight.”

who?

“the number two hero!”

nothing.

“the one who saved that whole airline from blowing up just a week ago! c’mon, it was all over the fuckin’ news!”

“you look like a hotter version of my old maths teacher. oh, and i’m (y/n) (l/n).” was the only verbal response he was able to get out of you, even after all his explaining.

“why do you i feel like you are sayin’ that just to piss me off?” he muttered to himself through gritted teeth, followed by a sharp inhale which you assumed was an attempt to calm himself down. his carnelian eyes darted around the room, halting once he raised his arm to view his watch. his brows knitted together as he read the time, forming a concentrated look which was short-lived as his face was quick to relax, emphasised by a slight shrug as if to say ‘i’ve got time’, before slumping down on the couch next to you. 

“so why did you and shitty deku break up?”

“i may be a bit tipsy but i’m not just gonna tell that sorta stuff to a complete stranger.” each syllable felt like it had to be forced out one at a time, but you’d rather that than slur you speech as bakugo seemed like the type to poke fun at you for it. 

“i just wanna know how badly he fucked up this time.” bakugo smirked, propping his elbow up on the back of the couch to turn and look at you, “eh, i don’t think we’ll be strangers for long.” 

there was a certain purr in this voice which sent blood rushing to your cheeks as you never expect someone like him to come on so strong. not that you were complaining, i mean, being in his presence during a time like this felt like a gift from god but you weren’t going to let him know that. it’d only add to his already massive ego so you decided to ignore his suggestive behaviour, opting to show disinterest instead, “hm, you think?”

it was almost comical how fast bakugo’s cocky smirk fell into a frown. honestly, he wasn’t used to people that he flirts with rejecting him, considering that he rarely ever makes moves on anyone. so, now what did he do? due to the foreign nature of this situation, bakugo felt as though he was left with no choice but to bargain, since he’s far from a quitter, “oi, what that supposed to mean?”

you shrug.

bakugo clicked his tongue along with a roll of his eyes before he said, “how ‘bout this; i pay for your room tonight and in exchange we can get to know each other tomorrow.”

“i can pay for my own room though.” 

bakugo deadpanned, he honestly thought he had won but apparently not. perhaps it wasn’t a good idea to hit on someone who had just gotten out of a relationship but whatever. “you’re impossible.” he spat, getting up from the couch and marching away, presumably to his room.

he tried to brush off the encounter like it never happened, reassuring himself that he didn’t have to think much of it as he could get with anyone else. plus, you’d probably come crawling back to him, begging to fuck once you get over deku anyway. 

and he was half right.

eventually, you came to the realisation that both you and bakugo have one thing in common — a hatred for deku. and as it turns out, hatred provides a good groundwork for friendship. 

[wolfcrunch]

As a person who has been verbally and emotionally abused from basically everyone in my family, it is very invalidating for some people to act like if you dont hate your abuser, you weren't really abused. Abuse is a complex subject, it elicits many responses in people. Some people despise their abuser (Natsuo), and that's valid. Some people don't forgive their abuser but wants to see how they will atone (Shoto), and that's valid. Some people just want to move on and try to have a happy family if they can (Fuyumi), and that's valid. Stop putting people's responses into one box because they didn't respond how you did to your abuser.

its disheartening to see people try to categorize people into groups, almost, because of the way they react to abuse and deciding that this group or that isnt valid because they dont immediately retaliate. having to deal and cope with something so horrible is complex and there is a lot of feelings and emotions to go through. people can go through several stages of this while others dont and thats all fine. none should be considered invalid because it doesnt fit with them. no one should have to react the same.

thats why i like how mha tries to show all these different reactions and how these characters cope, like the examples you used. horikoshi never really invalidates one characters feelings because it isnt the same as another, and its realistic. such a variety can also really resonate with, in turn, a lot of people. that shouldnt be erased because some fans decided only hatred or revenge is the way to go, and anything otherwise is being complacent or “unrealistic”/bad writing.

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with aka "Jake"

aka "Jake" has 83 stories at Gossamer, but don't miss her website for fics because a number of them come with cover images and/or illustrations you can't see at Gossamer. She's written some of the most epic and well-known stories in the fandom, including Abaddon's Reign and The Mastodon Diaries. Big thanks to aka "Jake" for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

It does surprise me! It just goes to show the series has amazing staying power and there are many excellent writers in the fandom who were able to capture the essence of Mulder and Scully and expand on XF canon every bit as successfully as the writers of the TV show. Some even more so.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

Like any online community, there were upsides and downsides. But what impressed me most were the lasting friendships that spilled into real life. Overall, the folks I encountered in the fandom were kind, helpful, talented, and inspiring. I’m still in contact with many of them and even meet up regularly with a couple of people who I consider my closest friends now, though we live far apart. Readers could be especially encouraging, poking authors with virtual sticks to get them to write more and faster. An amazing group called the Mastoholics formed to spur me on while I was posting The Mastodon Diaries as a work in progress. Several of them traveled to my house for a mini-con after the story was finished. Other folks called betas provided invaluable editing advice to authors. I was lucky to have several very good ones, but especially appreciated mimic117 and xdksfan. They went beyond proofreading; they pointed out confusing passages, missing plot points, and anything that seemed OOC (out of character). This polishing was a vital step before posting. To think they did it for nothing but the love of fanfic. It was a considerable time commitment.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

There were several key sites for posting and discussing fic when I started writing in 1997. These included Ephemeral, Gossamer, and Haven. Several sites issued writing challenges, like Haven, The Project, and The Church of X. Others gave out awards, like P1013 [Lilydale note: short for Prometheus1013] and the Spookys. I Made This! Productions invited authors, including me, to write episodes for virtual seasons of the show. I recall joining a couple of listservs early on, too.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

Overall, it was an uplifting experience. My writing improved tremendously thanks to honest feedback and several key collaborations, particularly with co-authors Brandon D. Ray and the Secret Squirrels. I’d never written anything longer than an office memo when I started my first fic. I had nowhere to go but up. These gifted and generous authors helped me grow as a writer. Collaborating with them made the experience of writing even more creative, exciting, and special.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

The first episode I watched was The Field Where I Died. It hooked me immediately. Back then, there was no way to go back and watch the earlier episodes. It wasn’t until several years later I was finally able to watch the first 3 seasons on DVDs.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I stumbled upon Ephemeral where I read a fic called Acadia by RivkaT, which was set in Acadia National Park in Maine. If I recall correctly, it was a casefile with an emphasis on Mulder and Scully’s relationship. It felt like an episode of the show. I was thrilled to find a seemingly endless supply of XF stories that allowed me to extend my enjoyment of the TV series. It wasn’t long before I considered writing a story myself, a case file, although as mentioned above, I had no previous writing experience, just the desire to write down and share my ideas about Mulder and Scully.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

I haven’t been active in the fandom for quite some time. I have no idea where writers post or readers go to find fic. That said, to keep my mind off the pandemic and other disheartening news this year, I began writing a new fic, which I plan to add to my site in September.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

No, I never joined any other fandoms.

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

Sadly, no fictional characters have captured my heart and attention the way Mulder and Scully did.

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

Yes, I do still watch XF. Before Seasons 10-11 aired, I rewatched the entire series and both movies. I enjoy the stories as much now as I did back in the day.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

No, not for ages. I’ve never read any stories from other fandoms.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

There are so many great authors and I’m hesitant to name them for fear of leaving someone out and hurting their feelings. Like a lot of fic writers, I was inspired by Prufrock’s Love beautiful way with words. Mountainphile wrote taut, realistic case files that I admired. David Hearne took on unique perspectives. To name just three.

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

I think my best writing may be in my long, post-col story Abaddon’s Reign. The story I most enjoyed writing was The Case of the Exuberant G-Man. It was a fun story that seemed to write itself.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

As mentioned above, I’m finishing up a new fic now and plan to post it on my site on or near the anniversary of the airdate of Season 1’s episode Squeeze. My story takes place in 2023, 30 years after Eugene Tooms was mangled to death in an elevator. I wanted to explore the idea of Tooms returning. How would that be possible? And what would Mulder’s and Scully’s lives be like five years after losing their son at the hands of CGB Spender and learning Scully was pregnant once again? I honestly thought I’d never write another fic but here we are.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

Often from the unanswered questions left by the show, the off-screen scenes we didn’t get to see.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

The majority, no. Years ago, I told my sister I was writing XF fanfic and she looked at me like I’d grown two heads. We didn’t speak of it again. More recently, my sister-in-law discovered my work. She’s a big XF fan and still reads fanfic, so her reaction was very accepting. Back in the early days, fanfic wasn’t considered serious writing and had a pretty bad reputation, which honestly didn’t jibe with the truly fine quality of some of the writing in the fandom. Sure, it wasn’t all good but there were some real gems.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

All of my stories are on my site at akajake.net.

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

Just that I’m pleased there are folks like you who are helping to continue the tradition and fun! Thank you for interviewing me and giving me the opportunity to stroll down memory lane.

(Posted by Lilydale on September 1, 2020)

[duckprintspress]

i'm of the 38 who didn't make the cut, and i wanted you to know that the phrasing of that rejection email wasn't ideal. i'm hesitant to come off anon, but i'm not the only one who felt this way. to myself and others, fanfiction means a lot, and the particular phrasing that my writing just wasn't "there" felt cold and ultimately disheartening. i doubt that this was your intention at all, but i wanted to make you aware for next time to consider the wording of those rejection emails more carefully.

Hi anon,

It’s okay you wanted to keep this on anonymous, and we are very sorry that our wording choices caused you and others sadness. Our primary goal is of course to be encouraging, and as you suggest - we never wanted to cause people sadness.

I know that explanations weaken apologies and can sound like excuses, so I hope you’ll forgive me and understand that making excuses is not our intention when I explain why we went with that phrasing. We actually did talk about it a little as a team, and so perhaps understanding our reasoning would help?

When we phrased this as “not there yet” we specifically meant we did not think your writing was yet at a level where it is appropriate for paid publication with Duck Prints Press based on the sample that you submitted to us. This is not a judgement on you as a person, or even on your writing - and we specifically wanted to give the idea that we thought people were CLOSE, just not...there. Further, this was the language we frequently used in private (”it was good, but it didn’t feel like it was quite ‘there,’“ where again, remember that for us, there refers to writing being at a level where we as a company would pay the creator.). We considered alternative wordings but everything we came up with that was honest and accurate sounded worse? That was perhaps a failure of creativity on our part, but we wanted to tell people - “keep working at it, we think you can do it!” (where it, again, is specifically being paid to write with us), without raising the false hope of suggesting that we thought they were super close, in terms of grammar, story structure, pacing, etc. - the areas of weakness are different for every person. We wanted to soften the blow, but we also wanted to tell the truth from our perspective based on the single sample that we read. This is also why we phrased it as “we don’t feel that your writing is...” This wasn’t a unilateral condemnation of you as a person, or of your oeuvre of work. This was the opinion of three readers who scored your story on our rubric, and it was the simple truth from our point of view: we didn’t think your work was ready to be paid, but we think it COULD be there in the future.

Further, to try to help people get “there,” we offered to send the rubrics with more specifics on where those weaknesses were, AND to people who asked for their rubrics, we ALSO offered to do 500 words of editing and betaing of a specific chunk of writing. We figured, if people thought our opinion on their writing mattered enough to submit and ask for rubrics, they might care about more detail feedback, and we’d volunteer our time to provide it.

In the end...a rejection is a rejection. I’ll own, I’ve seen a sharp divide in the private reactions we’ve gotten by e-mail, between the people who’ve submitted to paid writing opportunities before and gotten typical rejection letters, and people who never have. There’s no way to say, “we didn’t pick you,” that isn’t going to leave SOMEONE sad, because not being picked hurts. We’ve seen that first hand - three of the five members of our mod team who applied also weren’t selected, and yes, it’s painful and it sucks no matter how softly it’s worded or how close you are with the person who tells you. We could have kept things simple and just said, “we didn’t pick you, sorry, bye.” But to us, saying “not quite there yet” was actually meant as encouragement. We tried to balance realistic praise (we liked your work!) with the reality (we didn’t accept you because the writing reflected in your sample was not, in our opinion, publication-ready).

We’re truly sorry it didn’t come off that way - our intentions aren’t worth a bag of beans when actual people come forward to say, “hey you hurt us” and as I said - I’m sorry if this sounds defensive or like an excuse, we don’t mean it that way. We hurt you. We believe what you say and that our word choices deepened the pain. We’re sorry, and we’ll try to do better. We take your feedback seriously and will definitely change how we handle the wording on rejection letters in the future. No matter our intentions, what we meant clearly didn’t get across.

Thanks for trusting us enough to tell us. We hear you, and we’ll do better.

-unforth

[thegetoufather]

For your fanon takes (if you're still interested? if not, feel free to delete this~ 😅):

Almost any "Sex God [Character]" takes makes me 🤢 especially since it typically deviates from the character? Like yeah, it can be hot to have Levi throw you around when he's in the process of destroying your pussy, but Virgin!Levi? Or Inexperienced!Levi? who wants to be good and taken care of? and wants moments of tenderness and someone to take care of? Who carefully watches your reactions to see what's good and what isn't?? 🥺😍

Like your last post had pointed out: characters who are affectionately aggressive with friends being cast as mean or abusive. It hurts my heart because it's such an oversimplification of a character who has so much more to offer.

Oikawa. Fanon Oikawa who is the subject of so many cheater stories or who is a ditz or really manipulative? 😥 He's not? He hardly has time for anyone not actively involved in volleyball and that super flirty face he puts on for his fan club? I think it's just a face. Given Japan's fan culture, it would make sense that someone interested in going pro would start practicing for one day dealing with that fan culture on the daily. It doesn't ring as true. Not to mention he's one of the smartest characters in the series? And he's able to quickly pick up on maneuvers being utilized by his opponents because he's put that much time into studying? He may have fun being a goofy mfer with his friends, but that's, again, with his friends. (Like saying that Suga is cool and calm all the time when we see that he's very much a chaos child) Idk man. I get why people don't like him, but I also think that he's dismissed too quickly because of fanon interpretations and what little of him we've seen in the anime vs. the manga.

HI IM STILL INTERESTED IN THESE!!! i was just at the movies and then i fell asleep hehe sorry for the late response, but you just wrote such a beautiful take on oikawa i did not want to half ass my response

1. Normalize virgin and inexperienced characters!!! I totally agree!! There is so much fun in thinking your characters could naturally fuck you six ways till sunday with no effort, but the soft moments of fumbly intimacy — lets talk about that more!!!

2. bro it hurts me too. i get how its an easy way to make a bad guy when you need angst but, its shallow! and also like, disheartening to see thats all everyone sees you’re fave as.

3. bea this whole thesis on oikawa is chefs kiss. the fan culture thing makes so much sense!!! and its a thing we forget about when we watch a show from a different cultural lens but oikawa and theatrics to me goes hand in hand, but it doesnt mean thats what he stands for!

he is so smart!!! and i get the whole trope of iwa is the grounding force to his airheadedness, but i never saw it is as airheadedness with smarts but more so with having no realistic limits to his expectations to himself, and iwa reminds him he isnt superhuman. oikawas smarts are almost his hubris to me, because he’s constantly seeing himself as someone who should be doing better but always falls slightly short of his goals (im an oikawa kinnie i speak personally on this)

theres so much of him that we never see explored!!!! like even the mean oikawa stuff i see i dont personally get because hes the butt of the joke with his friends!!! and he takes it so well (with theatrics, but it doesnt really get to him ya know)!!

god there is just. so much depth of character that we sometimes miss out on i just want us to get into it all plz fr

[purplebass]

Prompt 53 please 🥰🧡

Here it is! I hope it’s good, I tried to give my best 😘💜

Title: If They Only Knew Couple: Jesse Blackthorn and Lucie Herondale, Blackdale Prompt: “That wasn’t very subtle.”

“And then, the princess decided that it was time she took the matter into her own hands,” Lucie typed on her typewriter. “She needed to save the prince from his fate, otherwise he would die by the hands of his evil mother. But what could she do, as he lied, motionless, on the cold marble floor of the castle? She could only-”

“Interesting.”

Lucie jumped and looked up, accidentally clicking some buttons and messing up the sheet of paper inside of her writing machine.

“You scared me,” she said, putting her hand on her chest to stop her racing heart. Lately, her heart always beat faster whenever a certain guy was around her, and this time, it was pounding both because of the anxiety and the excitement. She really liked to see that boy around her, and she wondered if it was the same for him. She sighed.

Jesse appeared at the side of her mahogany desk. “I didn’t think a girl who can see ghosts could be easily scared, to be honest.”

“If you appear out of nowhere, she could be,” Lucie protested, then she tried to fix the typewriter. The paper was stuck in the middle of the machine, which meant she had to use another one and rewrite everything she had written over there.

As she adjusted the typewriter, Jesse gazed at her with amusement. Lucie didn’t know, but he took pleasure in seeing her write and in being so lively.

“I sense you’re angry with me,” Jesse said, but his voice was playful, not bitter.

Lucie pouted, trying to keep her stance, but it wasn’t possible. “I am not the resentful type, Jesse. Even if you creep up on me while I write.”

Jesse raised his once dark eyebrows, and he shrugged. “Now I’m creeping up on you,” he told her as he paced around her room, noticing she had quite a lot of books hidden in there, “but you aren’t angry with me.”

He tilted his head and glanced at her. She was still trying to get the sheet of paper out of the damned machine, but it wouldn’t budge. “Ugh,” Lucie complained. “The paper is stuck.”

As if on cue, Jesse moved swiftly until he was by her side. The paper was torn but it was indeed blocked inside the typewriter, and Lucie wasn’t able to get it out so she could go back to her writing.

She glanced about her room, expecting to see him near her bed, but he wasn’t there. She realized he was near her, a hand placed on her desk and his head bent on the typewriter, inspecting the mess she had just created with the crumbled sheet. Jesse turned towards her, and Lucie couldn’t help but be attracted to his green eyes, which were one of the only features of him who still gave him a semblance of a living person and not a ghost.

Lucie’s mouth fell slightly open as if she was startled by the nearness, but at the same time, in awe at the guy’s appearance. He was handsome, and she thought it was just a pity that he was a ghost. She felt sorry for him. He could have been married by now, had kids, living the shadowhunter life he was meant to live or becoming whatever he wanted to be. But he was dead.

“I wish I could help you,” said Jesse, taking her back to reality, and ironically linking his words with the thoughts she was having on him. “But we never had this thing at Chiswick, and I have no idea how it works.”

She nodded and broke the connection, checking the typewriter again. “Don’t worry, I’ve got it covered,” Lucie assured him, and tried to get back at it, and in the end the sheet was freed from the typewriter. She looked at it grimly. “Finally. But now I have to type it all again.”

“What were you typing, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I was writing The Beautiful Cordelia,” Lucie beamed, rearranging some papers on the furthest side of the desk. “I was about to say how the princess saved the prince from his evil mother. She was about to…” she said, then left her sentence hanging in the air.

“Interesting. What was she about to do?”

“Are you really interested, Mr. Blackthorn?” Lucie wondered, smiling at him, but not actually answering his question. The only people who seemed interested in her writing were her family and Cordelia, and despite they told her she had talent, she had never showed her work to somebody else. “I mean, I could be writing the next best seller, if you ask me.”

Jesse shrugged and sat on the desk. Even if he was almost a shadow, he didn’t lose his spark. He was not tangible, at least for others, but he still carried a strong presence along his translucent body. “You just called me Mr. Blackthorn,” he laughed. “And I’m sure your story is nice. But, haven’t you just said that your character was about to do something? What was it?”

“I called you Mr. Blackthorn because… never mind,” Lucie shook her head and rose from her chair.

“No, now I want to know, Miss Herondale,” he urged with curiosity.

Lucie, who, in the meantime had walked to the center of the room, stopped her anxious pacing and gazed back at Jesse. He still leaned on the desk, but he turned towards her, his hands folded on his long legs.

“Well, aren’t you older than me? You were born one year before my parents got married. There is an 8-year gap between us. If you weren’t dead, you’d be 24 now, Jesse Blackthorn.”

Lucie said that in one go, without stopping for a second to get air in her lungs. She hoped she hadn’t offended him – after all, he was a ghost. Despite the sadness of his situation, she was stating facts. Jesse was born on the same year as Charles Fairchild, her mother once told her, but the children were as different as night and day, despite they both had forest green eyes. Tatiana Blackthorn, Jesse’s mother, didn’t want her brothers Gideon and Gabriel to see her baby. Her aunt Cecily and uncle Gabriel had been disheartened by her choice, especially her uncle, but they couldn’t do anything.

Jesse seemed to mull over what she said, and he waited to give her answer, to the point that Lucie thought she had been rude. Maybe it wasn’t nice to remind a ghost that he stopped aging? Yes, definitely. She was about to say more when she heard him speak.

“I honestly don’t feel that old. I mean, I feel that time passes, but I don’t perceive it the same way the living do,” he explained, staring at the window in front of him. “So, I don’t think you should call me mister. We are the same age. And I thought…” he started, then sauntered to her, his hands in the pockets of his trousers.

Lucie did not move as he approached. “What did you think, Jesse?”

“We are friends, aren’t we?” he inquired with a placid tone.

“Of course, we are,” she assured him, looking delighted to hear so. “Of course, we are friends.”

Jesse beamed, and his eyes seemed to lit up with something Lucie had seen ever so slightly in him, ever since they had started meeting in secret. Hope, comfort. Warmth. How could a person who had been dead for seven long years, exude such glow?

“Marvelous,” he commented, then went to sit on her bed. “Since we’re friends, I expect you to tell me about your problem. About your story, I mean.”

“The problem with my story,” Lucie commenced, “is that I don’t know how to write the scene I was about to write.”

“How so?”

Lucie bit her lip and started pacing her room. “The princess is meant to kiss the prince to save him, since he’s dead,” she said. “Because they are fated and by kissing him, she can revive him”.

She thought how ironic that situation was. She, Lucie Herondale, hadn’t intentionally decided to insert what was happening in her real life into her story. She hadn’t realized it until then, with Jesse sitting on her bed. Jesse was dead, and…

“What is the problem, then?”

“The kiss. The kiss is the problem,” Lucie admitted honestly. She wasn’t shy, but she had to confess that speaking of kisses with a guy her age – he said so, made her cheeks heat. And it didn’t help that they were alone. In her room. At night. She dared to look at him, to see his reaction.

“You’ve never kissed somebody before,” Jesse declared, nonchalant. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said it. Pardon me.”

Lucie wasn’t somebody who hid her emotions, and she wouldn’t hide them in front of him. After a minute of deliberation, she decided that honesty, as always, was the best policy. “No, no. I’m not offended. Truly. And… you’re right.”

If Jesse was surprised, he didn’t let it show over his face. His expression remained neutral, tranquil, peaceful. And he was quiet even when he replied her, in contrast with her current mood. She was anxious. Suddenly, her stomach felt empty, as if something was in there. Butterflies?

“With this I can help,” Jesse murmured, grinning. “Or… By the Angel, I’m being too improper tonight, am I? I should just go.”

“No!” Lucie blurted out without thinking, realizing her voice was too loud. “No. Don’t go. I think it would be a nice experiment for me to practice kissing. This way I’ll be able to write it more realistically, even if I doubt Jane Austen or Charlotte Brontë had kissed somebody when they wrote their novels,” she answered him, trying not to appear too enthusiastic about it, even if she was indeed super excited for that moment. Not only because of the kiss, her first kiss, but because of him.

Jesse nodded. “Come here, then,” he patted the spot next to him on her bed. “Or you want to do it standing?”

Lucie tried to keep her mind clear. Focus, she needed to focus. How was better? “It’s better on the bed,” she finally decided, “since my prince is supposed to be on the floor, deceased.”

“Then how about we do it like that? I don’t mind being on the floor,” he proposed.

“Excellent,” she agreed. Jesse, as swift as usual, lied down on the Persian rug she had in front of her bed. She then followed him and sat next to his shadowy body. “Close your eyes, Jesse.”

And he did as he was told. Lucie didn’t know what to do exactly, and she tried to wrack her brain and think about one of her favorite novels. How did the heroine kiss the hero at the end?

She put her hands on the sides of his neck, then dove down onto him, closed her eyes, and pressed her lips on Jesse’s translucent ones. At first, it didn’t happen anything. His lips were soft, not warm but delicate. Then she felt his hand on her back, trying not to impose on her body too much, and his lips started moving slowly on hers. He was doing what she usually did whenever she ate her favorite cake, eating small bites, slowly, savoring each piece with delight to make it last longer. He was gentle, not urgent. It seemed endless, relaxing even, until she heard the door open behind her and she felt as if she was free falling from a cliff. Which was not far from the truth.

She luckily fell on the Persian rug.

“Did you scream earlier, Lu?” her father asked, getting into her room. “And why are you on the floor? Perhaps you fell?” Will wondered, and she could read worry written on his face as he knelt down and touched her head.

“No, papa. I was just mad because a piece of paper stuck in the typewriter, that is all,” she explained, hoping she didn’t have I’ve just been kissed by a ghost written all over her face.

Will glanced at the desk, then at his daughter. “Do you want any help?”

“No, thanks, papa.”

He seemed satisfied of the answer and stood up, offering his hand to her, which she accepted. She hoped that her hand didn’t give her away. It was sweaty.

“But you didn’t tell me why you were on the rug,” he said.

Lucie loved her father, but sometimes he was too… too curious like a cat. Or a child. While this amused her, she didn’t intend to reveal to him that she was alone in her room with a handsome Blackthorn, so she opted for a white lie, which wasn’t completely a lie.

“I was trying a scene for my book. The character faints, so I wanted to describe it well.”

Will nodded, grinning. “Ah, alright, I see, sweet Lu. Be careful.”

“I will, pap,” she agreed as he walked out of her room. “Oh, dad? Can you knock next time?”

“I knocked, Lucie. Three or four times. The fifth time I decided to barge in.”

Lucie was stunned. “Ok, well, then… goodnight, papa. Say goodnight to mom too.”

“Yes, my dear. See you tomorrow,” he said, then closed the door behind him, leaving her alone once again.

She sat on the bed with her hand on her heart and sighed.

“That wasn’t very subtle,” Jesse said, appearing in her room out of the blue for the second time that night. But he wasn’t sitting on her bed with her.

“It was indeed very close,” Lucie agreed, gazing at Jesse. He had a smug face, and he was laughing. “Are you pleased with yourself, Jesse Blackthorn?”

“A person like me rarely lives situations like this anymore,” he confessed. “Let’s be thankful I was a ghost, or your father would have thrown me out of the window.”

“My father? No, I don’t think he would have,” she replied with determination. “But my brother, maybe… and the other Merry Thieves…”

“Who are the Merry Thieves?”

“My other brothers,” Lucie conceded. “I’m the only one who can see you besides your family.”

Jesse nodded, but didn’t answer. She thought he probably didn’t know why she was the only one who could see him besides for Grace and Tatiana, and she hoped to find that out soon.

“Lucie,” he murmured after they stayed in silence for a couple of minutes. “Was the experiment alright? Did you get what you were looking for?”

“It was perfect,” she said, scanning his face to read his expression. He wore his quiet expression like a glove. She wondered if he also felt the same things she did, but didn’t dare to ask him. After all, hadn’t he said he was helping her for her writing research?

“I’m glad.”

“Thanks for the help, Jesse.”

“Anytime, Lucie.”

Lucie smiled at him and then went back to her chair, behind the desk. Now she had to write. “It’s better if I write the scene while it’s still fresh in my mind.”

“I agree,” he answered, approaching het desk with his silent gait. She was loading another sheet of paper in the typewriter when he spoke again. “Lucie?”

She glanced at him, expectantly. “Yes?”

“Can I stay? I mean, I’d love to see you write, if you don’t mind.”

Lucie couldn’t help but smile. Not only she liked the idea, but she also felt a sweet tinge in his voice, as if he was shy to ask her that. “You don’t even have to ask. You can stay anytime.”

“Alright. I’ll be quiet,” Jesse said, and Lucie wondered if he did know how true that statement was about him, but at the same time very wrong. Because despite Jesse was a ghost, a reserved ghost, he also managed to scream something very clear whenever she looked at him.

Jesse wanted to live.

Lucie didn’t know what she could do to help him. For now, she would just reenact their kiss in her writing, pretending for a moment to be The Beautiful Cordelia of her story, the princess kissed by the prince tortured by his evil mother until she could, hopefully, do it for real and for the whole world to see.

[luckyladylily]

Apparently the transphobic billboard CDPR was so happy to show everyone is fucking everywhere in Cyberpunk 2077. This studio is fucking gross and this game is such a trainwreck

Ok so I got this like a month ago or something and I have not answered it because I have lots of thoughts, and lots of them are not going to be popular. I am not mad at you anon, just a bit frustrated at the general situation, and I am going to be very direct.

To start, I am not defending CP77. I just don’t care. I don’t know enough about whatever is going on with the game to go either way, and whatever the case is CDPR does not need me to defend them. The only thing I do know about enough to create a well formed opinion is about the labor problems associated with the game which, honestly, matters more to me than virtually any insensitivity or similar blunders within the actual game.

So this is not about CP77. It is about the discussion of how trans women can and should be depicted in media.

I am going to make a bold claim. I do not think that the initial advertisement is transphobic. I think it was inevitably going to make a whole lot of trans women very uncomfortable, but that is not the same thing. It just isn’t that simple.

God there are so many layers here to cover all the bases. Look, I am going to do this by bullet point so I don’t have to explain and cite feminist and queer theory for 5 hours and ten pages. Trigger warning for people that might get dysphoric about bottom stuff.

Sex is not bad

Catering to sexual appetites and desires is not bad

creating content that appeals to those appetites and desires (meaning sexualizing material) is not bad

individual creations are not bad, it only becomes a problem as a large scale societal trend that erases other aspects of people.

many people find non or pre op trans women’s genitals sexually attractive

this is not a problem unless it is fetishistic

as trans people have come into the spot light over the last decade or so sexual attraction to women with dicks has made huge steps towards normalization.

we are past the point where we can or should assume that sexual interest and depictions of women with dicks are fetishistic

people just think we are hot

this makes people with bottom dysphoria uncomfortable because it draws attention to something that makes them dysphoric

dysphoria is a personal trigger, even when a particular trigger is wide spread

sexual interest in a trait that is a potential trigger for dysphoria is not transphobic.

There is a massive double standard for women with dicks vs women with vaginas - our sexuality is deemed far more dirty and is policed far more aggressively by everyone, including the left.

women with dicks should be allowed to be sexual without shame

people should be allowed to be attracted to our bodies without shame

people should be allowed to express that attraction in the art they create without shame

individual depictions of sexualized trans women are not transphobic, it only becomes a problem as a society wide trend that erases other aspects of trans women.

We have two seemingly competing interests: Allowing women with dicks to be sexual and allowing people to be openly attracted to them an express that attraction vs preventing a society wide reduction of women with dicks to sex objects

these are not actually competing interests - both forbidding the depiction of women with dicks in a sexual manner and society wide sexual objectification of women with dicks are symptoms of the same problem:

women with dicks are seen as especially dirty sexually and inherently tainted by the fact of their anatomy. We are reduced to our anatomy by both.

The ad features a trans women with an especially prominent attractive sexual characteristic - a big dick. We are not similarly offended by depictions of cis women with especially prominent attractive sexual characteristics, like large breasts, or similar depictions of men with large dicks. Because only women with dicks are seen as inherently dirty to this degree.

The depiction of a woman with a big dick is not transphobic. It is trans inclusive sexualization. Maybe it is trans inclusive misogyny, which is an odd idea but I hope you get it. I honestly don’t know enough to say either way in that case.

Many on the left still see the depiction of unique sexual characteristics of women with dicks as particularly crass and gross and openly oppose any depiction of such except under extremely narrow circumstances - the vaguely defined ‘done right’ way, which in practice means that all depictions of women with dicks being sexual is subject to policing and attack from the left.

While this protects some trans women from dysphoria, it alienates other trans women, stigmatizes us, and reinforces the idea that our sexuality is inherently and especially dirty.

The old rule of thumb that women with dicks should not be sexualized, created many years ago under very different circumstances, has outlived its usefulness

I have not been shy in the past about how I am a highly sexual trans woman. I am one of the trans women who feels alienated by the online left being so consistently offended by depiction of women with dicks, and the reaction to the in game ad is frankly extremely disheartening.

Go and look at it again. It isn’t even that sexualized! It is practically tame compared to typical sexual advertising. She is a pretty woman wearing a leotard with a big, tight bulge. There is nothing else sexual about the image. She isn’t making ‘come fuck me’ eyes at the camera. She isn’t posed in some lewd position. She isn’t even wearing something particularly risque. It isn’t even terribly exaggerated in size, it is within the limits of realistic sizes (if on the big end of the bell curve). Its just a woman with a big, tight bulge. Why is that so offensive? Your average shampoo commercial featuring bathing women moaning in orgasmic ecstasy at how much they love their shampoo is more sexually objectifying, but it isn’t about a woman with a dick so at most it gets an eye roll.

It is only seen as “hypersexualized” and offensive because the left finds the overt depiction of women with dicks offensive, that any depiction of a woman with a dick where you can tell she has a dick is hypersexualized. And this is from the people who are supposed to be on our side.

That image is very nearly the minimum sexualization you can have of a woman with a dick. There are two steps you could take to make it less sexualized: Make it less tight, or make it a bit smaller. But if you do both then you literally just have a woman with a normal size dick wearing tight clothes, and frankly ‘trans women can’t wear yoga pants because ew’ is just. I am not even going to entertain the idea. And yet this in game depiction of a woman with a dick is supposedly so hypersexualized that it is exceptionally transphobic and gross.

Trans women’s bodies are policed so hard, the double standard is unreal. The range of acceptable sexuality is so narrow it is practically non existent.

We need to be more careful about how we criticize sexual depictions of trans women because taking it on gut reaction is only making things worse. It is highly stigmatizing of trans women’s bodies and promotes the idea that any sexual behavior from a trans woman is hyper sexual and therefore potentially predatory. It works to confirm everything the right and terfs say about trans women being sexual deviants. We do not destigmatize trans bodies by throwing a fit and calling hypersexualization and transphobia every time one is depicted.

[notthatiwilleverwriteit]

Hello how r u !! I wanted to share my sadness concerning 2 points : how u excuse yourself each time u answer bc u werent quick enough is the first one :'l please dont be sorry its ur blog and its already super cool u make the fandom live by answering deep analyses, u dont own us a quick answer ! So take ur time to answer this ask if u want to lol, its been like 1 year im stalking ur blog im probably be there 1 more year at least lol 1/?

Hello, anon!

Even though I kind of talked about the things you were wondering I still wanted to get back to you. If for nothing else than to thank you for the lovely first part of your message.

“how u excuse yourself each time u answer bc u werent quick enough”

First of all, I’m so happy to hear you’ve liked my mullings! I’m glad I have managed to contribute to the fandom in a way people find interesting and enjoyable. Analyzing and writing is pretty much the only thing I feel like I’m not that bad at, so it’s nice to know my content has reached my fellow fans.

I’ve noticed I tend to apologize for my tardiness a lot. I don’t know if it’s needed or expected but I always feel like saying something if answering has taken me a week or longer. I’m not sure how quickly people are expecting me to write these things. But perhaps I should change my thinking about that and start treating this like any other writing that can take some time.

Either way, thank you for your concern and reassurance! 

“the second point is he tian in the update”

As you mentioned, I somewhat answered the topics you were wondering about in my previous ask about the latest chapter:

Tianshan and asking questions

Here are some other posts that are related to this:

Will MGS’s attitude towards HT ever change?

Will MGS’s attitude towards HT ever change, vol. 2?

Will there ever be a Tianshan confession?

Snippets about what I hope for the future

I don’t know if you have already checked those out but I thought I would list them anyway if someone is interested.

I have been a bit surprised by how many people are somewhat hoping/expecting MGS to ask about how HT feels about him. Or something along those lines - about their relationship in general. I’m not trying to make this sound like I think people wondering about that are somehow “wrong”. As long as you can base your interpretation on the source text, I think every reading has its place in the conversation. All I’m saying is that it’s quite different from how I saw that chapter and how it could continue - if it’s going to be continued at all.

You talked about MGS being true to his tsundere side but wondered why make HT say those things about asking questions at all if we already know he’s going to be “slapped in the face” in a way. The way I see it, though, is that kind of persistent and pushy behavior is also very much in character for HT. He doesn’t really care how many times MGS rejects him or pushes him away. If there are going to be suggestions that lead their relationship to develop, I would expect them to come from HT in 9/10 cases. And most probably all of them would be resisted by annoyed MGS. But they still manage to make progress through the cracks, and I still believe that whatever feelings they keep gaining for each other are genuine. Even in MGS’s case.

It should also be noted that MGS’s spicy tsundere nature is what HT likes about him (among other things). It’s one of the things he admires in MGS and doesn’t want him to lose. Not giving in and standing up to HT is partly what makes MGS respectable in HT’s eyes. I don’t think he was really expecting MGS to agree to his suggestion about asking him about things. Nor do I think he was that disheartened by MGS shutting him down. If HT really wants to make this happen, he will keep at it or find another way.

But I do get your point about worrying about how this all makes HT feel. It must take a lot of confidence and determination to not be disheartened by MGS’s resistance. I think there have been a couple of times when the rejection has gotten to HT in one way or another (ch. 175, 297, 309):

I would say we have seen glimpses of HT’s confidence wavering. Despite knowing that he’s pushing MGS, he doesn’t want him to reject him for real and abandon him. To be honest, I would be interested in seeing something like that more from HT. And perhaps more importantly, I would love to see MGS’s reaction to HT showing insecurity. Something like that would make HT’s character and their relationship more realistic in my eyes.

But it’s a delicate balance to thread so that it won’t come across as either of them being out of character.

It seems I still found some things to say. Thank you for your question and lovely words, dear anon!

[draculeo]

I love Rick's world, but after reading and see such negatives stuff about his writing, I was very disappointed, especially cause I'm a minority too, and when I was a teenager I thought it was so cool to have Latino characters. How do you feel about his books? Do you think it's possible for improvement? Or enjoy it, despite negative side? I think it's so important to have people calling out bad behavior, even when it comes from our faves.

this has been sitting in my askbox for like an hour and I’ve been trying to get in the right mindset to answer it but fuck it. I’m disheartened obviously because of the current sociopolitical climate and the constant rerealization of how minorities function in society and I didn’t want that to influence my answer but it’s just as important to show emotion sometimes as it is to not let them influence our views.

how do I feel about his books? well. my blog is a good indication. I think they’re great. I think percy jackson and the olympians is a fantastic book series and that it’s some of the best storytelling in children’s literature period. if you’ve been on my blog, you can also see that I don’t feel the same way about the rest of his books. his writing and storytelling is still great- the potential in heroes of olympus is huge and that’s why I still talk about it to this day. But I can’t sit here and say that it is anywhere near his first series. The way I see it, Riordan got caught up in everything and had to publish his series quickly to ride the percy jackson wave. it’s painfully obvious when you look at the sheer volume of books he’s published in the past decade. he’d have a good initial idea and throw it out there to his ghostwriters or his editor and I feel like a lot of them are half baked, especially in comparison with pjo. the speed with which he published his books meant sacrificing a nuanced, well developed plot. It also meant sacrificing his characters, especially those that aren’t cishet white characters. the good intentions ARE there. they are! he could’ve not included all those characters and still have been fine. but he thought that his existing knowledge would be enough to get away with minimal research. and once the initial reaction to these characters was overwhelmingly positive (for so many, this was the first time seeing themselves in any book) he capitalized off marginalized populations by churning out minority after minority with minimal effort to actually write minority characters they way they would actually realistically be.

If I didn’t enjoy his books I wouldn’t be here, and if I didn’t think there was a possibility of improvement I wouldn’t waste my time talking about it so much. I genuinely think he had good intentions, so there has to be some possibility that he will listen. there has to be. because if the man lauded as one of the best ya authors can’t listen to the people he’s writing for and about, then what’s the point.