#he’s such as snitch wtf

[jsvausvqbd]

Koo Man-Do deserves to get his ass kicked, wdm this dumbass is out there telling HUMANS how to temporarily weaken demons ?????!!! If I were Justitia I’d have his tongue on a silver platter by the end of the day

[littlefankingdom]

AU where Jason's trauma around his Lazarus Pit's dip and his protective instinct as a sibling are stronger than his pride, so he snitches to Bruce about Damian and the tournament to the death Dick is letting him do.

Bruce: You are both grounded.

Dick: I'm an adult, B, you can't ground me!

Bruce: You encourage your brother in a death's tournament, try me.

Tim: I can't believe Jason is the responsible one.

Jason: Why are you surprised? Contrary to this clown, I know how it is to get a bath in the magic green goop, and it's not pleasant. Zero stars, would not recomand, and don't want any of you to go throught.

Steph: Aww, you love us!

Jason: Shut up!

Bruce: Thanks Jason for contacting me before Damian died.

Damian: *mumbling* I did died and came back on the Island, I'm fine.

Bruce & Jason: WHAT?!

[fissions-chips]

Thinking about having a little subplot of the Eldritch AU being The Major subtly trying to stage a sort of ‘not-quite-coup-but-similar’ dissent against Jon once he realizes that Artemis is none-too-subtly starting to favor him to replace Major in time, as opposed to Butler (who was originally being trained to and is now having doubts about his place within the cult/the Fowls in general). Perhaps Major was originally taught under the original Fowls and therefore disagrees with the thought of a newcomer breaking tradition? Perhaps he’s simply upset at the thought of his nephew ‘losing the family status’ through his doubt? Who knows but it’d make for good drama.

[mainfaggot]

just found out the guy i was frenemies with in middle school got a boyfriend

[mylovelookup]

Cattonquick boarding school sweethearts/romeo & Juliet AU

In which Oliver also comes from old money and he and Felix fall in love in boarding school(?). The Quicks and the Cattons have been business partners since Queen Victoria was still kicking so Ollie and Felix have known each other their whole lives (summers and holidays always spent together) but when their family ties are suddenly severed after a hostile fight between their fathers, the boys’ last year at Eton is irrevocably ruined. As a reaction they decide (it was Felix’s idea and he succeeded in cajoling Oliver to agree) to elope run away on the first day of the Christmas holidays (imagine their respective chauffeurs endlessly waiting for them at the school gates lmao) and get married on a whim (also Felix’s idea to somehow "fix" things like ta-da! Can’t separate us now dad, we’re fucking married. Oliver is now a Catton. Family peace restored! No, not really Felix lmao.)

[kcyars520]

[xmoriartea]

SVSSS!Sibling Transmigration AU

Based so very loosely on this glorious art by @nibbelraz

Airplane transmigrates into the youngest infant son of the Shang family (and God damn he deserves better than this System he is their god!! Daddy Airplane?? Heard of him?? These people should not be changing his damn diaper hello??)

Shang Qinghua is already a young disciple when he visits home and meets his little brother for the first time and does no one else see there is something... off about this kid?

He makes regular trips home afterwards, eventually using An Ding logistics to find reasons to be near his hometown more frequently (and really does no one else see this kid is weird?)

Bby!Airplane is just too smart. SQH is convinced he saw the kid make eye contact with him once when he caught him stealing a dumpling behind their mother's back and it was like looking into the eyes of a demon who'd gut him if he snitched and not a human toddler

It doesn't get better as Airplane gets older and SQH hears him muttering about 1. things he shouldn't know at all regarding the sect when he thinks SQH isn't listening and 2. absolute nonsense (what System has done you so wrong didi?? you are four??)

Before Airplane is old enough to reasonably join the sect, SQH brings him back to the mountain anyway. He is fairly certain his brother is a seer and if that's the case, he's keeping the little welp close at hand

Airplane infinitely regrets how much bullshit he made An Ding deal with to ""hand wave lazy writing"" (shut up peerless cucumber!! he was writing porn not project management!!) but even just watching SQH run himself ragged over the peak has bby him exhausted (no wonder he ratted y'all out to the king yeesh)

He spends his early years as a disciple just following SQH and sometimes nudging his gege into record shattering discoveries because SQH will pat his head when he realizes and take him down the mountain for noodles afterwards (gg easy)

Airplane is a proper disciple in his own right in his teens when his notes and his story get jumbled in a way that has him tripping into one of his shixiongs when he hears the rumors - Head Disciple SJ returned to the mountain with a little brother (record screech glass shattering huh???)

Meanwhile, Shen Yuan transmigrated into Shen Jiu's unnamed younger half-brother After finding stability at the sect, Shen Jiu looks into his birth mother, knowing she sold him off when he was a child What he finds in Airplane's unwritten notes is a Fantine-Cosette backstory where his mother, a courtesan, gave him away to a good family after he was born. She sent them regular payments to ensure his care, but only found out when she was pregnant with SY that they had sold SJ off and were pocketing her money Unable to find SJ and unwilling to risk SY, she and the other courtesans raised SY within the brothel SY transmigrates into the body of a child at his sick mother's bedside with a twisted sense of deja vu having just vacated his own deathbed He doesn't know where he is, but if the orphan protagonist can make it to the sect, so can he right? (Transmigrator Halo? System? System why are you laughing??) He's barely into his second teens when SJ finds him. It takes no time at all after learning the truth for SJ to demand SY's guardianship and whisk him back to Qing Ding (See System? He DOES have a Transmigrator Halo, even if it is attached to the scum villain) SY is honestly shocked by how concerned(?) SJ is when packing his meager possessions. (No Jiu-ge (ew) no one has ever harmed him or touched him wtf would make you think they had?? He's baby??) It takes some time for glaciers to melt and for SJ to let SY in, but SY was raised around kind jiejies who taught him to be better than their worst clients and SJ feels safe around this little brat in a way he can't explain (SJ has had SY for five minutes but if anything happens to him SJ is taking out the entire mountain and then himself) YQY has NO idea how to react when SJ first returns with his brother, but he doesn't hesitate to smooth the way for SY's discipleship and watches from afar as SJ begins to finally let someone in, even if it's not him

SQH keeps telling Airplane he needs to work on his muttering to himself, that it's going to get him in trouble (bro you don't even know) but for once it's in his favor because SY overhears him just enough while YQY is sorting his shit out on arrival and suddenly they're just two spidermen pointing at each other on the peak

Cue the shenanigans of two hometown boys who have no bearing on the plot at all and are just along for the ride while their siblings handle the peaks. Anytime Qing Ding and An Ding need to work together on missions, these two volunteer and confuse the hell out of their martial siblings every step of the way

SJ does not trust the little logistics rat anywhere near his didi and glowers like an alley cat anytime Airplane is around (SQH is right, ofc. His brother IS weird and SJ does not trust it)

SQH meanwhile takes note of his weird didi's sudden and first friendship with SY and immediately starts keeping tabs on this kid because clearly Airplane's seerhood has steered him to SY for a reason, must keep note

The first time LQG makes any sort of fuss about SJ going to a brothel, SY forgets everything he's learned at the sect as Little Brother Mode™ activates to defend not only SJ but his jiejies too. (Fists are thrown. Hair is pulled. He might have bitten his shixiong, he can't say. He sort of blacked out for a minute there) Needless to say there isn't a second time and LQG has an hour long argument with his shizun about trying to poach SY for Bai Zhan peak while nursing a black eye (Airplane just side eying the GREMLIN that transmigrated here like bro wtf)

Before LBH even steps foot on the mountain, both their Systems ping about the incoming protagonist and it's not that they, you know, forgot about the story but they were distracted. Between finding each other and actually weirdly coming to care for these NPCs they... lost track of time

But the System pings and LBH enters the scene and SY refuses to let Airplane's work repeat itself (we're making your notes canon bro stfu and follow my lead. (what lead??? what plan??) I'm working on it!!)

It's a 50/50 crap shoot if SYs favoritism of bby!Binghe endears him to SJ or spikes up the resentment, but SY refuses to let harm come to LBH or for SJ to become the scum villain (someone is yelling, it might be SJ, it might be SY, it might be Binghe who doesn't want Shizun and Shixiong fighting over him)

On the other side of the plot, SQH is still a little snitch, even with his didi's visions guiding him to unprecedented success - but it's more than betraying the sect, more than wanting power and recognition. Seers are insanely powerful, highly sought after. Bringing Airplane to the sect protected him for awhile but SQH can't let him become a target. So when the OG meets MBJ, all his calculations come to a single unfortunate answer: throw your lot in with the biggest fish to protect Airplane (no one else can understand how weird his brother is because if they do his brother will end up dead)

Flash forward to when Airplane is squinting at his brother wearing fur collars year round, always running a little bit chilly for unknown reasons but refusing to see MQF about it. Airplane insists on SQH letting him check his meridians if he won't see MQF and SQH relents, puts his wrist in Airplane's hand, and squawks like a goddamn chicken when Airplane yanks his arm and tugs down his collar to reveal the mark of MBJ on his collarbone and SQH is once again met with that dead eyed 'bro do not fuck with me' stare

SQH does not question how Airplane knows, he just insists on Airplane staying far far away from MBJ (he might work for the demon, but he certainly does not trust him)

Of course Airplane defies all reason and knows the exact secret rendezvous point SQH uses (he did not suffer puberty twice to be denied seeing his most precious creation in the flesh, gege) and is spotted spying on the spy almost instantly by MBJ who is just holding him by his scruff and looking between a wide eyed Airplane and a barely-restrained-panicked peak lord like 'why oh why are there two of them'

Cue a full stand off between a demon and peak lord, ice knives at SQH's throat, a blade hovering at MBJ's heart, and Airplane just held like a kitten between them like fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck that SOMEHOW ends with MBJ rationalizing 'ah this weird mouse is important to my viper of a spy - if I want to keep the viper loyal, I will protect this mouse'

Which throws the Sheng brothers into a mess that neither of them know how to deal with. SQH thinks he needs to continue to be excessively useful to keep Airplane safe. Airplane can't let MBJ know he's his brother's best source or the demon might cut out the middle man. (Meanwhile somewhere MBJ just out here planning to court this weird little mouse to tie SQH's loyalties to him)

Whatever circumstances causes the Abyss plotline to trigger, SY 500% throws himself in after Binghe leaving SJ partially feral because his didi is in danger, Airplane CONCERNED, and SQH just casually like 'oh that's why my brother was interested in him, interesting' not at all realizing no, SY is likely just about to become his boss(-brother-in-law)'s boss's consort - whoops! whoops! whoops!

[gaywineauntsstuff]

Random headcanon number 20207483927

-Dick doesn’t spy on his families teams

Because he doesn’t need too

They’ll either tell him what’s happening

Or their teammates will

He’s friends with 80% of them anyway

Jason Todd was honest to god on a team with Dicks Ex who still adores him and starfire /j

No but really Roy and Kori 100% have doxxed Jason’s entire life to Dick Grayson

A) bc I will ignore any canon where these 3 aren’t close

B) Kori has never had a filter ever

C) Dick absolutely has indoctrinated the fab 5 into mission reports and now they feel weird without a debrief

D) Roy would find giving Dick and ulcer over the stupid shit his brother does hilarious

E) Roy would find giving dick and ulcer over the stupid shit HE does so so so fulfilling (revenge)

Damian is on the Titans.

No matter what titans generation of titans it is they’re responding to Nightwings status report request, fully detailed in MLA format with a reference list following APA 7 guidelines

Dick does not have to worry about young justice despite the fact they are very much NOT snitches bc Tim absolutely calls Dick and Doxxes his entire life story to him once a week minimum

(See Tim telling Dick random shit in the comics causing him to lose his balance and fall a compilation Im sure exists)

Both Clark and Wally are on the justice league. Bruce’s every dangerous move is reported to Dick via Clark and all his stupid ones are reported to Dick via Wally.

No matter how weird Dick and Babs relationship (on again, besties, off again, not talking etc) is she’s absolutely telling him either via concise email or 7 hour long sip and bitch session every single thing that happens not for help but bc ughhh wtf is happening.

Now frustratingly the same is not reciprocated

Bc

“Donna or Garth would kill me” -Roy

“*graphic details of sexcapades to distract from question*”-Kori

“Nightwing is busy” -oracle (babs just leaves when asked as a civilian)

“I’m sorry it’s just so hard to not talk to him okay?? He’s so nice” -Jon during supersons

“He’s my friend too, I can tell him what I want” current jon

“Listen he barely talks to me as it is I’d rather he still come to me with issues and insecurities without worrying his father will hear it” -Clark

“If you think I’m saying shit to you, you’re in idiot, if anything was wrong and I told you you’d make it worse go fuck yourself” -Wally

(OG Bruce Wayne hater of titans. him and Roy do fight over this title at the titans new years. Wally thinks Roy lost his place bc he found a new bird to be mad at the bat over so his timeline should shrink. Roy thinks this is bullshit bc now he hates Bruce for reasons of bird^2)

[lewisvinga]

ultimate wag | alex albon & lily muni he x fem! reader

summary; alex and lily soft launching their relationship with y/n but everyone keeps assuming they’re friends, so y/n takes matters into her own hands to hard launch

fc; various girls on pinterest

warnings; suggestive comments

taglist; @namgification

notes; requested! ALEX AND LILY ARE MY SHITTT, i am actually so in love w them both , they’re soooo🤭

masterlist !

liked by yourusername, alex_albon, and others

lilymhe: thailand 🌴⛱️🌊🛥️🇹🇭❤️

tagged; yourusername, alex_albon

yourusername: got a sunburn 😞 but 100% wanna go back😩

lilymhe: i got aloe vera gel i got u pretty girl

username: ALEXLSKD

username: her friendship w y/n is so cute! and i love how alex is close w her too!!

username: couples trip ft y/n😭

alex_albon: cool

lilymhe: u were the least cool out of all of us

alex_albon: wah wah

yourusername: she’s right you were

carmenmmundt: i miss you girlies!! we need to link up soon !

lilymhe: YES i’ve miss you too😢

yourusername: girls trip this time?😁

georgerussell63: not you guys keeping the bad bitches out

alex_albon: how rude!

liked by lilymhe, yourusername, and others

alex_albon: recharging 🔋

tagged; yourusername, lilymhe

yourusername: lils was thinkin’ hard

alex_albon: thinking hard or hardly thinking

lilymhe: you both know what i was thinking about 😼

yourusername: oh!

alex_albon: there are children (logan) here, lily!

logansargeant: oh! 2x

username: idk yall i’m not feeling the 2nd picture

username: the way y/n is holding onto alex and lily???? seems more than friendship to me😭

username: nah she’s always been cuddly, that’s how she is i think

landonorris: did you fall

alex_albon: wtf no

yourusername: liar! i have a video of it!

landonorris: SHAREEE

username: alex and his gf and his gf’s gf

username: lily is stronger than me bc if my friend was holding my bf’s face like that, we wouldn’t be friends anymore

lilymhe uploaded to their story!

[caption 1; happy birthday, pretty girl💗💗] [caption 2; too tired to walk in her heels😴 ( told her to not wear the ysl heels bc we were going to walk a long distance 🙄 )]

alex_albon uploaded to their story!

[caption 1; happy birthday, sweet girl🌸] [caption 2; my girls post 2 bottles of wine]

liked by lilymhe, alex_albon, and others

yourusername: f1 driver bf x golf player gf = the ultimate wag ¿

tagged; lilymhe, alex_albon

alex_albon: the ultimate final boss wag

lilymhe: I CAN TAKE HER I CALL DIBS FIRST

alex_albon: lily wait THATS NOT EVEN FAIR??

yourusername: lils called dibs sorry 😕

alex_albon: love you, sweet girl❤️

yourusername: love you, my best boy💗👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

lilymhe:wow we are all so hot liked by yourusername!

username: so true

lilymhe: my pretty girl!! love u💓

yourusername: love u lils😣💗

username: OHMYOGSIDJ

username: my parents

username: goodness gracious

username: whatta sexy couple

username: alex winning at life w 2 pretty girls by his side

yourusername: u hear that albono?? alex_albon means stop being mean

alex_albon: you only call me mean because i try to limit your coffee intake 🙄🙄

lilymhe: BOOO

logansargeant: ur bf was mean to me today btw☹️☹️☹️

yourusername: i’ll protect u from alex_albon 🤺

alex_albon: u americans are snitches😕

username: i’d do anything to join this throuple

username: this is so weird

username: womp womp , they’re happy so who cares liked by yourusername, alex_albon, lilymhe!

username: i didn’t expect this at all

username: bye i thought alex and lily were monogamous this whole ass time

username: im literally like 😦😦😦 bc since when were lily and alex poly???😩

username: OOMF ON TWITTER WAS RIGHT?

[bbyjackie]

𝐒𝐎𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐒 𝐀𝐒 𝐀𝐂𝐄'𝐒 𝐆𝐅 — ♡

one piece social media + dating feat: ace

♡ liked by p1rateking_luffy, marco_o and 7.3k others

_ynln: he's 20 and still manages to burn everything in sight <3

tagged: ace

chef.thatch: All my hard work down the drain

↳ marco_o: wait is this why the deck floorboard is scorched

↳ _ynln: ACE DID IT

↳ _ynln: he fell asleep while we were singing happy birthday 😭😭

↳ ace: WOWWW YN YOU'RE SUCH A SNITCH

↳ marco_o: oh my god

iampops: How do I add a caption on Instagram posts

↳ p1rateking_luffy: HAPQPY BIRTHDYA ACE! (liked by ace, _ynln)

↳ ace: thanks luffy!

♡ liked by iampops, izou.u and 5.4k others

_ynln: worth it ❕❕

tagged: ace

marco_o: oh my god this is why we don't trust you guys unsupervised

↳ _ynln: i know u love us (liked by ace)

↳ marco_o: you guys make me want to throw myself off board

↳ marco_o: im losing hair cause of you two

↳ ace: like you had much to begin with LMFOAOO 💀💀

↳ _ynln: 🤣🤣

↳ marco_o: im letting both of u die

izou.u: are you guys the reason why the bathroom looks like shit

↳ ace: it's yn's fault ☝️

↳ _ynln: WTF HOW IS THIS MY FAULT

↳ _ynln: YOU'RE THE ONE THAT SAID 'wHaT iF wE jUmPEd?' AND THEN CANONBALLED

↳ ace: LMFAOOAOO IT WAS SO FUNNY 🤣

iampops: Sons tell me how to add a caption on Instagram posts

chef.thatch: I lose braincells whenever I am near these idiots (liked by _ynln)

♡ liked by ace, saaaa_bo and 4.9k others

_ynln: if he isn't dreaming about me, im going to sell him to the marines 😪😪

tagged: ace

izou.u: is he even breathing in the second photo

↳ marco_o: i hope not

ace: whaattt of course i was dreaming about you my pookie dookie sugar bear cupcake frappe 😜😍🥰😘🤩❤️‍🔥💕💞💖

↳ saaaa_bo: ew

↳ saaaa_bo: kudos to yn for taking one for the team and dating u

↳ _ynln: i can already hear my 550,000,000 berries from here

↳ _ynln: @saaa_bo FRRR YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE THAT HAS MY BACK ☝️☝️

iampops: Sons I've been asking for a week. How do I add a caption on Instagram posts?

♡ liked by theroronoa.zoro, p1rateking_luffy and 9.2k others

ace: my favourite girl ❣️❣️

marco is my favourite of all time

tagged: _ynln

_ynln: everyone don't be fooled, he tackled me into the ocean straight after this 😐😐

↳ ace: my mum told me to chase my dreams, not my fault my dream tried to run away 🥱

↳ _ynln: YOU STARTED SPRINTING AT ME WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO

↳ ace: start sprinting towards me at the same time 🤩🤩

lovenami: omg @_ynln you ate in this photo

↳ _ynln: NAMI OMG ILY 💞💞

p1rateking_luffy: HEHE MY FUTURE SISTER IN LAW

↳ ace: bet

↳ _ynln: wait what

↳ iampops: yn how do I add a caption on Instagram posts?

↳ _ynln: pops omg you're showing your age rn

marco_o: jesus christ delete the second part of that caption

↳ ace: stop being shy 😚😚

yamatototo: yn needs to be saved 💀💀 (liked by _ynln)

_ynln 36m

[_ynln] ace replied to your story: marco said it was payback for destroying the bathroom, you're next 🤷

[multicolouredmonster]

up until now "wtf is Aaravos end game?" has been the biggest question of the show to me - nothing he did seemd to benefit any faction in the show, and just seemed to create more chaos.

but comple chaos was always the the goal. Everyone and everything burning was his aim. His plans benefit nobody, because he holds them all responsible for the part they played in Leolas death and wants them all to suffer;

The startouched sentenced her to death for "disrupting the cosmic order"? Create dark magic and permanently fuck up the balance of power they preserve

The current Dragon Prince snitched on Leola to the startouched? Leave him disabled and disfigured, wallowing in misery. Also, time to destroy the dragon monarchy as a whole.

The xadian elves serve the dragons and uphold their rule? Let's orchestrate civil war between them and have them tear eachother apart

Humans betrayed Aaravos to the dragons after Leola died giving them Primal Magic? This betrayal will be repaid with burning your kindoms to the ground

[hijinxinprogress]

Everyone in YJ is multilingual (mostly bc they’re nosy)

Everyone on YJ speaks at least 14 languages which is a skill they all use to fuck with the jl and their villains like oh??? We’re having secret conversations??? I would like to be included and everyone’s like wtf why do you speak this fucking random dialect of Russian?? This is Arizona??

They all speak binary for some fucking reason (they’re nerds) Also Kon tells people binary is Tim’s native language which starts a debate on whether it counts as Kons native language)

Diana is swearing in ancient greek under her breathe and Anita laughs before responding in ancient greek so Diana’s time monitoring yj is spent trying to make sure the public knows she did not teach those little miscreants to swear in her native language however she did teach them some technically lethal combat moves which is not better but she thinks it is

Anytime aliens come to metropolis or anywhere else on earth, occasionally Kon shows up and starts speaking to them in their native language so Clark’s like 🤨 …did Cadmus teach you that?? I don’t even know that language and kons so offended bc no?? Bart crashed our fucking spaceship and we were stranded in space for like 8 months…you didn’t notice??? I know their language bc we fucking hitchhiked back to earth (yj also pissed off multiple entire planets of people but 🤷🏾‍♀️) and Batman’s so pissed when Clark complains to him about this bc Tim told him they were doing undercover recon in Eritrea

the jl is trying to translate a threat from the league of assassins while batman is off planet but cissie showed up bc damian was insulting the jl in the leagues dialect and being purposefully unhelpful (he sabotaged the leagues plan like three hours ago and he enjoys making adults feel stupid esp if they’ve tried to baby him) so everyone else is confused when cissie laughs at damians remarks and casually corrects green arrows translation (she also invites damian to blow stuff up with yj which is immediately rejected but he changes his mind when olivers lets them know he can hear them and tries to lecture them)

clark is talking to Diana in kryptonian and he hears a collective gasp of offense from yj and he’s like ?? (Tim followed all the supers around for like a month to teach himself kryptonian and then taught Kon and the rest of yj)

J’onn walked in on Greta and Cassie discussing how to ditch their green lantern in the watchtower break room and snitched immediately bc they finished his secret stash of cookies but he also has inside jokes in martian with them (despite this yj does not listen to him in any capacity)

They all know Interlac (Bart kept cussing in interlac and decided it would be great if yj also did this) but really the rest of the jl is under the impression it’s some fucking code yj made except the speedsters are like Bart ☹️ no spoilers you promised!! and he’s like it’s not even a real language 🤨 didn’t you hear?? Rob made this fucked up cipher and I hate it 😞 it took me like six minutes to learn (they have to let it go when Bart goes oh so you don’t think tims smart enough to create a language on his own?? within earshot of the bats)

Or Anita starts muttering in patois while they’re being lectured by the jl and bart laughs and she’s like 🤨 someone cooked here and I don’t know if I like that 

[lomlompurim]

What if instead of waking up in the mushroom body, sqq woke up in a doll.

Something something while lbh was away in the abyss, sqq without noticing offended a misterious (demonic-succubi-esque???) cultivator with a weird thing for making dolls. She had dolls all over her secret workshop that she very kindly let him into when she heard about the famous Xiu Ya sword being in the city.

What she wanted of him? Who knows, sqq couldn't bring himself to care. She probably wanted his money or try to steal his hair, the hair of those dolls seemed very much like real hair, although he had to admit the level of details on these dolls were amazing.

(she wanted to trick him into buying one of her cursed dolls and steal his life energy little by little, but got wifebeamed by widow sqq during their conversation about how talented she was to be able to make so many dolls, and without really understanding he rejected her with little to no emotion on his face)

So she cursed him, and since sqq didn't feel anything bad at the moment he thought it just didn't work and left, not sparing the curse a single thought after their encounter.

The rest of the story goes as usual, excep that after he self detonates his soul doesn't go into the mushroom body, instead it got directly into the shape of a doll in the workshop of this woman.

His first thought is thinking someone snitched the mushroom body bc wtf wasn't he supposed to wake up under the dirt??? Why this place smells slightly familiar? Like paint and humidity and floral perfumes?? and why everything looks fucking giganourmus?!?! A teapot should NOT look that big from his position....Oh no, did the mushroom body turned out as small as a squirrel? WhAT is happening?!

And then he looks at his arms and legs, and he has joints. White paper skin with joints in his wrists, elbows, torso, waist, knees, feet. And he panics, a lot.

The woman who cursed him starts monologuing about how she trapped him now, and you are mine, I made this doll specially for you master shen, this is my revenge for your insolence to leave me yada yada- Sqq stoped listening a while ago.

Somehow he manages to escape from this woman and now he is roaming around as the size of some apples. Everything is huge. Everything is dangerous, even the grasshopers! And this body is fragile! He can't feel heat nor cold, neither hunger or other things, but he is useless with no spiritual veins inside, and if someone is not looking carefully, they might crush him. And the way back to cq is gonna be a hell of a trip! But he needs airplane to fix this. He can't stay as a doll forever! He needs a mushroom body and then fly into the sunset far from this mess! Adiós! Goodbye! So his new plan is to infiltrate into cang qiong, look for that rat and disappear. Sneaking into some disciple's pouch must be enough to break in.

Something something it only had passed a few months since lbh stole sqq's body and everything is still very fresh. CQ mountain is a hot mess. Sqh frankly needs to lay down and take a nap. Lqg keeps figthing with Lbh practially every day and coming back beaten bloody, he has his king pestering him and a lot of paperwork to do, Lbh is a pain in the ass, Yqy is really close to snap and start a war with HHP, and he knows nothing about his bro. So yeah. Such a great time to be alive.

The mushroom bodies should had been ready, right? He must be alright...Yeah. He has enough already to keep him busy. Cucumber bro is gonna come out and stumble across at any moment. No one would bat an eye if he takes a nap, right? He deserves it. He is overworked enough for another lifetime, his head hurts, his bones hurt everywhere, a short nap should be fine...

Until he feels something small tugging his robes and a cold tiny finger poking his eyelids. But he doesn't want to. He is very comfortable on the floor of his office. Whatever bird decided to pick a fight with his face can keep trying.

"AIRPLANE, WAKE UP, YOU HACK! I NEED YOU TO FIX THIS! WHY IS A WITCH WITH ANACHRONISTIC HAUNTED DOLLS IN THIS NOVEL? THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

That voice. That fucking annoying voice was of just one person and one person only. He opened his eyes, looking for the source of the unmistakable voice of his No1 hater, but he came across with a pretty porcelain doll. With a very ugly sneer in it's face.

"W-Wha-?...Bro-?!"

"Fucking finally! Why are you sleeping on the floor in your ofice?! I was looking around your bedroom like an idiot! Do you know how close I was to falling from your window?!"

-TBC-

[ninathekillxr]

If you stabbed them

Creepypasta

headcannons

I am running out of ideas someone help me

Ticci Toby~

- “Dude wtf”

- If your close he wouldn’t care much mostly would just be confused.

- Obviously it doesn’t hurt so I just walks of to get it bandages up.

- Will be side eyeing the fuck out of you for weeks.

Eyeless Jack~

- would probably do like no damage to him

- he would just fix himself up

- Jack will hold a silent grudge over this for a while

- Might steal your kidney as repayment.

Jeff The Killer~

- “Ow wtf?!”

- Would stab you back

- Would then stab you a second time before spitting on you and storming off.

Nina The killer~

- If your her obsession she’d probably say thank you

- If not she’s screaming and yelling at you for hours

- Holds a grudge for YEARS

- Would write an angry diary entry about you

Masky/TimWright~

- “Wtf? You shitface”

- Would definitely attack you while your asleep

- Revenge arc?

- Would snitch to slenderman

Ninas comments!

Dudes I’m so out of ideas like WTF is this lmfao

Friendly reminder that if these seems a bit ooc it’s because all my headcanons are apart of my own au!

Nina out!

[princessbrunette]

imagine asking season 2 rafe to choke you while he’s fucking you and he does obviously, leaving a handprint. then you see your girlfriends and they’re like “ wtf?? “

they crowd you at the country club fussing over you whilst you pout and bat them away. they say stuff like “babe, he’s like double your size you can’t let him handle you like that!” and “oh that’s not right, that’s not right at all.” until you stomp off all teary and call rafe to come and pick you up >:(

when he turns up in his truck you’re standing there all sniffly ready to snitch on everyone thinking he’ll be on your side and he literally launches out the car to force you into his passenger seat like “what the fuck why would you— baby why the hell would you go out like that? what you— you can’t cover that shit up with makeup? these bitches already think i’m crazy did — did you atleast tell them it was like, a sex thing? that you asked for it? you told them that, yes?” 😭

[skittlespizza]

HALF LIFE TUMBLR SIMULATOR:

🌐 breenofficial follow

This is your daily reminder that we do in fact see your internet history. Please refrain from looking things up such as "breen leaked feet pics". Thank you.

🗨 combineofficial follow

To add on: please stop looking up "Metrocop x Reader", thank you.

🪄 c17-mp2901 follow

whoever keeps stealing my rations from the breakroom owes me AT LEAST six days worth at this point.

📀 c17-mp183729 follow

Its happening to you too, 2901? I thought it was just me...

🔆 c17-mp89388 follow

This is a reminder that we work hard for our rations and it's kinda fucked up to steal people's hard work... idk if its just me but why is it normalized to make fun of Civil Protection?? We're just doing out job.

@combinefeedback can you fix this??

💠 combinefeedback follow

Hello! Please email us at combinecomplaints@theoverwatch11.com to submit a formal complaint.

🍻 bcalhoun follow

Lol

🛡 the-resistance follow

Double agent of the week has been announced! Special thanks to @ bcalhoun for his hard work. He has reportedly stolen weeks worth of rations from the City 17, District 6 breakroom, thoroughly demotivating the metrocops :).

🟠 gfreeman-fan follow

Looking for a roleplay partner! I'd be roleplaying my BlackMesa!OC, Jamie. I'm okay roleplaying with BlackMesa!Ocs or Gordon Freeman. Breen roleplayers please do not interact!

🩵 breen-defender follow

What's wrong with breen?? /gen

🟠 gfreeman-fan follow

What do you mean what's wrong with breen?? U literally support... ☹️☹️ blocked and reported.

🛡 the-resistance follow

Gordon Freeman fanart drawn by @gfreemanlefttoe!

[gordon_fanart_final_FINAL_FINALREALLY.jpg]

🔬 eye-kleiner follow

Wow! 😍 Most Accurate Drawing I've Seen Yet! Amazing Work, gfreemanlefttoe!

🪼 justice4cremators follow

THE FUCKING USERNAME I CANT.

🍻 bcalhoun follow

As someone who knew Gordon before all this... kinda wild ngl.

⚓️ a-d-vanced follow

My dad literally worked with Gordon I can't imagine how he feels knowing gfreemanlefttoe is a real username.

🔭 elivance388 follow

It's funny asf.

🪨 lazlo-greatest-mind-of-our-generation follow

DNI: Breen defenders (wtf is wrong with you), Gordon Freeman x Breen Shippers 😭😭, Resistance snitches, if you work with the combine AT ALL (THIS IS MY BLOG OKAY??), antlions, if you own any headcrabs as pets. They're literally exotic creatures wtf is wrong with you..

⚓️ a-d-vanced follow

[dog_picture.jpg]

Here's a selfie with my pet dog!

🚫 alyxvancehateblog follow

I literally saw him attack a combine soldier yesterday...

⚓️ a-d-vanced follow

And???

🚫 alyxvancehateblog follow

Kinda weird ngl...

⚓️ a-d-vanced follow

Ermmm in literally neurodivergent and a minor 🤓

📘 real-history-facts follow

Today, 10 years ago, the Resonance Cascade happened!

🧠 brmy-md follow

Who remembers x files... 😭😭

☢️ stalkerk follow

Rb with what you miss most about pre combine life

🎶 dmmeformusic follow

Predictably, music...

🎁 cindyc follow

Holidays...

🐱 catlover2882777 follow

Cats@

[Cat.jpg]

🍻 bcalhoun follow

WHICH MUTUAL REBLOGGED THIS I HAVE ALL CAT TAGS BLOCKED PLEASE TAG YOUR CAT PICTURES. JESUS CHRIST.

🔭 elivance388 follow

WHO FUCKING DID THIS.

🫐 ocubbage follow

hehe

⚓️ a-d-vanced follow

CUBBAGE??? WHAT???

🌐 breen-grub follow

Username change. Gfhhhh 👍

🍻 bcalhoun follow

Who hacked breen again?

🥬 cgreen follow

Lmao

🗨 combineofficial follow

PLEASE STOP WRITING BREEN X METROCOP STORIES. THANK YOU.