#he’s so goddamn cunty

[frogaroundandfindout]

[lukeslights4ber]

i need him in a way that is concerning to feminism

[themintman]

Anyway. Working on Tray's design for an au and I'm scared to colour him cause GOD DAMN???? WHYS BRO SERVING

[weebsinstash]

Suddenly realizing that if I had a nickel for every time I was attracted to an inhuman tall cunty gnc man in heels who was really mean, scheming, and massively insecure, that I would have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice

[theforgottengreatpoem]

Tyler-Loading.gif

[distraughtlesbian]

i (DESERVEDLY‼️) heckle pb for a lot of their narrative choices but even all these years later this plot twist………masters in cuntology double major in slaysian studies and slutistical analysis minor in motherlogical studies graduated with honours from the university of servington. sorry. they chewed. i love the way it feels to be a hater but they can have their flowers just this 1 time

[yourlocalnameless]

ALIEN NO.2???

Only the real ones know this is a re-do

He cunty or whatever 😍

I wonder who keeps jamming the vending machines tho....

[qcomicsy]

[fishpiracy]

Sanji being incredibly powerful but also easily defeated by an enemy mimicking Nami is fucking impeccable.

Sorry man I can't hit you not even because you're a woman but because I black out whenever there's a cute girl 😍😍😍

[frogaroundandfindout]

(Joker: Last Laugh Secret Files & Origins #1)

[mistywaves98]

plsplspls nerdy looking & virgin reader and cunty scara 🙏

This req is short but I love it ❤❤

✧･ﾟ:* ->Popular! Scaramouche x Fem! Reader

✧･ﾟ:* ->¡Warnings!: NSFW, Cunnilingus, Slight Public sex(?), Praise, Petnames (good girl, doll)!

Decent grades, large friend groups, money, favouritism among teachers, looks to die for... Scaramouche had it all and he basked in the attention he received. But then there was you, his polar opposite. Aside from being a top student, there were a lot of things that you two didn't have in common. With you being a social outcast, preferring to bury your nose in a book than mingle with others. Not to mention those oversized clothes and weirdly large glasses that somehow framed your face so perfectly.

Scaramouche had only really noticed you when you both were paired up for a project and in that time he couldn't deny that he'd grown a sort of attraction towards you. You were just so goddamn cute in his eyes, so quiet and timid and pure...so corruptible... He'd be lying if he said that he didn't jerk off to the image of those wide eyes staring up at him so cluelessly whenever he talked to you. Or the way your skirt would sometimes ride up a little too high as you sat on his bed, giving him a peek of your panties.

Even after the assignment was handed up, Scaramouche found himself still seeking you out just to be in your company. It was then he realized that you seemed to develop a little thing for him too, getting nervous and overly jumpy whenever he'd enter the room, trying to hide your blush with one of your books, stuttering over your words. and goodness did it make him only crave you more. He finally decided to corner you in the library one day, getting a bit too close as his hands slowly roamed your body. Going lower and lower till they were tugging your skirt down.

And that's how you found yourself getting tongue fucked in a secluded part of the library. Your face was flushed as you sat on the chair which was now a mess of your arousal. One hand covered your mouth to muffle the noises he coaxed out of you, the other tangled in his indigo locks as you tugged him closer, desperate for release. Scaramouche absolutely lived for the sight above him, your sweaty body illuminated under the bright lights of the library adorned with your untidy clothes and disheveled hair.

The way your glasses slipped down your flushed face as you hesitantly met his eyes was absolutely adorable. It only made him want to make you squirt all over his face even more as he increased the pace of his tongue, the wet muscle delving into the tight depths of your gummy walls. His pleased groans vibrated against your sensitive folds, making you throw your head back in bliss as your nails dug into his scalp.

"Mmh... You're close, aren't you, doll? Look at you, falling apart on my tongue like this. You're so fucking cute when you try to keep quiet... But you can't because I'm just making you feel sooo good, aren't I?" Scaramouche drawled in a teasing tone, smirking against your cunt as he saw how it flustered you. He moved his mouth to latch on to your clit instead, plush lips engulfing the swollen bud as he sucks and licks at it feverishly while simultaneously stuffing your drooling pussy with two slender fingers.

The change in pace had your back arching, a loud whine slipping out as your eyes went glassy with tears. He was right, you were going to cum soon. Scaramouche gripped your thighs and threw them over his shoulders, relishing the way they squeezed his head when you did. His digits pumped in and out of you at a reasonable speed, occasionally curling to hit that spot that made you see stars.

It was getting harder to keep your noise on the low, with you practically biting your arm to try and distract yourself. Scaramouche noticed and lightly scraped his teeth against your clit, that little bit of added stimulation sending you over the edge as your eyes rolled to the back of your head while moaning a little louder than you would have liked. You came all over his face, drenching it with your juices. Scaramouche smirked as he pulled his mouth away from your pussy but not before pressing a wet kiss to your clit.

He pushed himself up on his knees, getting closer to your face as he took in your fucked out expression,"You're such a good girl, squirting all over my face like that. You taste absolutely divine..." He used a finger to smear off some of your cum from his face, making a show out of sucking it off just to see you get red in the face again. Then he stood up and switched your places.

Now you were on your knees in front of him while he sat on the chair that was now soaked with your essence. You got a great view of the very noticeable bulge in his pants, a damp spot already forming as he grinned down at you. Scaramouche carded a hand through your hair delicately, desire swirling around in those dark eyes of his as he said in a deceptively sweet tone,"Hmm, I wonder what people would say if they heard the nerd was sucking off the popular kid in the library?"

[pickingbelovedoffthesofa]

“Enjoy him” was really so cunty on multiple levels because first you’ve got Louis over here bullshitting and Lestat is openly calling him on it and saying out loud that he knows Armand ain’t no prize. And then you’ve got Armand sitting there, unable to say shit because he knows it’s true and also because Lestat’s got a blow dryer aimed right at his careful house of cards. BUT ALSO… “enjoy him” has to be one of the nastiest and most vitriolic things a person with the full knowledge of Armand’s past could say to the man who /is/ actively using him in a way. Especially knowing how Armand desires the ability to love and be loved and it’s the one goddamn thing he hasn’t figured out in his CENTURIES on this earth.

Like, do you think “enjoy him” were words Lestat drew from his memories of Marius when they drank from each other??? Because…

[str8upjorkinit]

Why do you like the brat

(genuinely want to know lmao)

funny you should ask that...

it all started when I saw that one ad where leo was kicking his feet in the bathtub...(big yap warning)

shallowly, he gives power bottom energy. i was prepared to not like him since my friend was further in the game + picked leo bc she thought he looked cunty and quickly found out that she hated him, but my first meeting of him was that ad.... that ad.... hes so like girly and like cutesy and and :3c!! so then i actually met him in the game... hes so girly and cutesy omg, i live for that fake bitch energy. hes so like... pathetic and two faced and cute like....

so basically i have this thing where i yearn for this kind of dynamic where i can overpower him but hes smarter than me and also very interesting so i just let him boss me around. hes so like... weak. and i love his voice i need him to moan in my ear especially when hes being fake and cute bc he wants something from you? "captain~<3 can you please open this bottle for me?~ <3" ugh. fuck. boner. hes such a vixen. hes such a diva.

also him crying... oh my lord LEO CRYING!!! UGHHH. the world's prettiest crier <3 and his goddamn tongue piercing

also like the switch up is hot too, the duality of man <3 my pretty delicate princess!!

psychologically, hes such a fucking wreck and i love that, hes such a bitch, and hes so manipulative, and hes so jealous, and insecure, and such a liar, im so fascinated!!! does he know how awful he is? does he realize how toxic hes being? is he toxic on purpose?? is he a shit friend on purpose? is it a power trip to make sho pay for his food or is he just lazy? i want to know what hes thinking

his relationship with sho is so fascinating too, like its so clear hes scared of losing him but in a way he also hates/loves him. like wdym you have other friends besides me??? you're starting a business??? ugh, ur so lame. and he actively tries to isolate him, is he jealous of sho's popularity? his talents? his social life? or does he hate the things that takes sho away from him?? he also does not give a shit about shos happiness either bc he like badmouthed him to subaru just so subaru could leave him alone... wow... what a fucking asshole... im so invested, drama!!!! also the valentine's day line where he doesn't mention getting anything but sho does,,, it means something no?? dude, like, leo is everything and nothing, i bet he feels so worthless but to make up for that he uses sho and internet validation

hes built like a reality tv character, THE instigator but hes smart about it. hes such an attention whore, like .... regina george... guys real shit i have a mean girl kink /j

leos the type of bitch to flirt with and sleep with his boss to make more money.

ANOTHER THING he has like a weird sense of justice?? like he hates ppl who've made the world shitty (ref to when he jumps off the building) and so him and sho scamming old rich guys is kinda like them being vigilantes? leos kinda like an anti-hero in a way. hes so interesting!!! AHH!!!

omg also hes in his self-destructive era and i need to see how it goes, like will he be a villain? will his life get ruined bc of himself?? will he get punished? will he redeem himself? does he regret his choices??

ngl i tho im actually not romantically interested in him, which is pretty surprising considering how much i like him. im obsessed with him in the most objectifying way possible

but yeah i love my toxic fruit tart boy <333

[sunlitlemonade]

YOU WATCH F1 TOO?!?!?!?!???????!?? RAHHHHHHHHH🏎🏎🏎🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 can we plz get thoughts on drivers 👀🥺🙏🫣🫣🫣🫦

anon i know you sent this sometime around suzuka but that last emoji made me laugh every time i tried answering this. as for the drivers......... sigh. I'm swinging a very bedazzled bat at a swarming hornets' nest. pray for me.

under the cut because i yapped a LOT. also. uh. possible slander. so like.

Red Bull Racing

Max Verstappen: starting off strong here with my favourite guy of all time. He's Inevitable™. He's fast. He's amazing. He's sweet and blunt and gorgeous and I want everything good for him. He's phenomenal, he moves me, he makes it's so easy to root for him and yet, it's incredibly taxing to be a fan given the British bias in F1 journalism and the fandom, not to mention FIA occasionally losing it's goddamn mind.

Sergio 'Checo' Perez: I'm actually so fond of him. His recent performances leave more to desired, I know, but fuck if he isn't the funniest mf around. Also it's simply a matter of time when he gets back in form [the bias is STRONG here I'm aware]. Also he's an extremely good second driver because I for one think he knows how to handle a team built around his teammate. I don't think any other driver on the current grid would have gelled with Max and Red Bull's structure [and strategy to win] the way Checo has.

Ferrari

Charles Leclerc: Il Predestinato. Saint Leclerc. Curse bearer and curse breaker. He's made to be a dream. He can make the hopeless hope. I know I said Max is generational talent but we're quite lucky to be in this era where we have not one, but TWO generational talents because Charles..... this guy..... you have to be blind to not see the sheer talent and insanity this man holds. Ferrari get your shit together istg. I need a Verstappen - Leclerc WDC fight. IT WILL BE GLORIOUS.

Carlos Sainz: *cough* ok, so, I wanna start off by saying I do think he's a chill guy off-track, ok? I really do think that. He's funny, quick, hot [ofc]. As a driver though. I just. He's good --not as good as F1 media wanted you to believe after his win in Australia and the circumstances surrounding it [WDC material??? Any GP winner now is considered WDC material??? ok]-- but he whines A LOT and I would actually prefer if his aggressiveness on track is directed less at his own teammate and more on their opposition? That would be cool. Plus sometimes he forgets it's not 'yippee we are all friends haha' all the time and inevitably fires up when someone serves cunt on track and he's bearing the brunt of it. I call it the Mclaren syndrome if anyone is interested.

Mclaren

enough said [ignore the shit quality i grabbed the first template i could find sjskdjfke]

Mercedes

George Russell: HES SUCH A HILARIOUS DIVA!!!! WHO DOESNT LOVE THIS GUY?? He's so entertaining and fun and he is a very good driver! I feel like we still have yet to see all he can achieve and I am very excited to see what happens next.

Lewis Hamilton: Legend. I truly have nothing else to add. Forget his fanbase, forget his tunnel vision when it comes to winning [and this applies to almost every driver, most of all my favourite ones lol], he's seven time world champion for a reason. Since we're asking for my opinions here though, I'll tell you this: anytime he wins I'm happy enough to see it [though I will forever want to see my favs on P1], any time he doesn't I don't care much, if he has a bad race I will give it less notice- basically, he exists in the periphery of my vision. I have been in awe of him for years and admire him but I cannot call myself a fan. One thing I can't help but obsess over is how cunty and unapologetic he is [which is also something that I love about Max].

Alpine

Esteban Ocon: He's a good driver, he's grinded hard to be here in F1 and I love to see it. Also, he's geek! In my books, that's always a plus.

Pierre Gasly: He's actually one of the most unremarkable drivers on the grid currently. Like there's nothing wrong with him and every time he pops up in interviews or whatever he's fun to see but that's about it? Honestly he seems like a cool guy, a driver okay enough but doesn't stand out much to me in anyway skdjhsjd

Sauber

Valtteri Bottas: THE MOST UNDERRATED DRIVER EVER MAYBE????? I love this dude and I'm hoping he can get something better than the tractor he has this season, as unlikely as it is.

Zhou Guanyu: Again, he's a nice enough driver and I really enjoy his vibe but he's crawling on the track in the tractor Sauber cooked up and I don't really know what to think of him beyond what I have stated.

Aston Martin

Fernando Alonso: Anyone who has a problem with Mr. Alonso has a problem with me. This is a strict Alonso Stan account, I do not take criticism and idc what anyone else has to say about him. He's a legend, he's an icon, he's the spirit of F1. I'm quite literally obsessed with him. You know what. Max is the Only One for me BUT if Fernando happened to win a 3rd title........... Did you know that Adrian Newey was recently acquired by Aston Martin [MAKE IT HAPPEN NEWEY].

Lance Stroll: idc. truly idc. some hate this guy, some love him. im at the camp of idgaf. just complete indifference.

Haas

Kevin Magnussen: If you've noticed anything by now, it's that I love love love track terrors. Not the stupid bitches who divebomb everyone all the time and start barking when it happens to them. Nah, the ones who race. I fucking love them. I love Kevin. Hoping against hope that he gets a seat somewhere next year, I will miss him so much. He's incredible to watch. God. I will actually miss him so much. Fuck.

Nico Hulkenberg: Another underrated driver, he's actually quite skillful and entertaining to watch. I just wish he had better luck like 😭

VCARB

Daniel Ricciardo: I miss him. His performances had waned and yeah, it had been time for him to go but I will still miss him and idk man I will admit I wasn't his biggest fan a while back, which had hurt because at some point, years back, he was the main reason why I watched the sport at all. But he had slowly wormed himself back in my heart and fuck. His last race actually made my chest clench ngl. He was absolutely amazing.

Liam Lawson: Consider me sat. I'm SO curious to see how he performs. We know he's got potential but just how far can he stretch?

Yuki Tsunoda: How many times have I used the word 'love' already? I'm sorry but what else can I say? I genuinely love this fella. He's so good and exciting to watch on track and also, plain funny. I wish for everything good to happen to him.

Williams

Alex Albon: infatuated with his billion dollar smile. Now that that's out of the way let me also just say HES SUNLIGHT INCARNATE, also I COULD LISTEN TO HIM YAP FOREVER. Idk I'm actually really happy for him because he seems to be flourishing at Williams and I mean this in the best way possible: he shines at a midfield team. [Also, note me saying he's sunshine doesn't negate just how fucking sly & sassy he can be. I adore that about him.]

Franco Colapinto: MY BELOVED. I perk up like a sunflower under the sun when I see him. He's such an intriguing driver. I detect hints of track terrorism abilities brewing here and cannot wait to see more of it. Also! He's so refreshing to listen to. I know like 80 percent of the grid is no-nonsense and transparent but man idk how to say this. He's a fucking comedian. Not a thought that has any sort of filter at all in that pretty little head of his. Just. No PR training at all here.

Logan Sargent: This boy. He did not deserve even a smidgen of what he had to tolerate. I actually detest the collective treatment from the fandom and his own fucking team that he had to constantly weather. I hope whatever racing division he advances to, he fucking demolishes. I hope he has so much fun winning. I miss him and his reserved smiles.

Special mention:

Oliver Bearman: I mean he raced twice this season, I can't skip over him just like that. Anyways, he's a BABY [< girl who's half a year older than him sjedhbwje] and I WANT HIM TO DO GOOD. He's done relatively well till now in the limited time on track [in F1] we've seen him, we'll have to wait and watch how he does next year. This F2 season for him has been... eh but like I get why.

[chaifootsteps]

missing the days when Ozzie was not too subtly shaming Stolas for destroying his family under the guise of 'wow I'm the sin of lust but you really take the cake! kudos!'

like sure he knows Stolas said he has feelings for Blitzo now, but it's annoying how neatly the show just let Stolas sidestep what actually happened when he got the crystal from Ozzie in Oops

knowing that everyone is likely to be on Stolas' side now, Fizz and Ozzie seem guaranteed to do that since Viv has set them up to think so. if it was another show this would be a way to show how people can come to faulty conclusions based on incomplete evidence (Fizz, Ozzie, Verosika) but knowing HB it's just going to be an excuse for them all to gang up on Blitzo for breaking poor Stolas' heart

even the characters who do know what happened probably aren't going to give Blitzo a break or even any sympathy (looking at IMP), which is just ghastly imo.

the Ozzie's fallout was constructed like it was going to address the full moon deal but all that really happened was Stolas handing over the crystal so Viv could fast walk the show to 'OK, he's in the clear now! everything is 100% Blitzo's fault from this point on! forget about the fact a coercive sex deal that was Stolas' idea happened for an idea season - everyone else already has!'

if I was Blitzo, I'd feel seriously let down that no one in his life took a single minute to ask about how he feels, if he needs help, if he's OK. there were any number of red flags in this situation that IMP and Fizz could have noticed, but all of them are asking like they've forgotten or they haven't noticed. the only one I give a tiny pass to on that front is Verosika, since her perspective is obviously clouded by anger and she's projecting onto Stolas (she's still got the wrong idea, but it's not as bad as IMP who know full well what's going on or Fizz and Ozzie who should be able to figure it out)

how is it Striker is the only one who heard about the transactional thing?

Oh lord, those were the days, weren't they? Back when Ozzie and Fizz were as cunty as they were in love, when Ozzie didn't hesitate to tell Stolas "Boy, you fucked up your goddamn entire life", and when Stolas appeared to be sitting on those steps with his delusional bubble well and truly popped. It's like looking back on an entirely different show now.

It's like Striker's the only one who sees the full moon deal for the completely fucked up thing that it is, and Viv is absolutely hellbent on punishing him for that.

[lotstradamus]

i'm loving all your vampire posting lottie! if you're ever so compelled i'd love to hear what you make of the books vs the show and if there are any book things you'd especially like to see done on the show! (also, bookwise, are you a lestat girl or an armand girl or a louis/marius/david/akasha/claudia girl or or or)

as someone who tried to read Interview with the Vampire thrice (THRICE!!!) pre-AMC show revival and simply could not get through it (it is melancholy), I cannot BELIEVE how down bad I am for these books right now. I keep seeing bad reviews on goodreads and girding my loins for each new book expecting the quality to nosedive, but 1 star bitch WHERE? WHERE??? I AM HAVING THE TIME OF MY GODDAMN LIFE

in terms of books vs show, honestly after a point the books are kind of Unadaptable unless they radically change the main cast, vibe and format of the show every single season, and the changes they made to IWTV were good to the point of sending me fucking insane so they can just keep on doing whatever their little hearts desire with the source material imo!!! howmever I DO have some suggestions for the upcoming seasons:

Lestat crying twice an ep (non-negotiable)

I would kind of love it if Lestat is the only character who tells the truth. the most reliablest narrator and normal girl to ever live. and yet every time he says something like "I killed a pack of wolves single-handedly" or "I woke Those Who Must Be Kept by playing violin" or "I snog my mother with tongue" Daniel is just sitting there like "............riiiight."

Gabrielle. Gabrielle Gabrielle Gabrielle. mainly I would like to smash cut to Gabrielle in the middle of really intense Lestat/everyone else scenes and she's just like peacefully sleeping in the ground... strolling through a distant jungle... sitting on a mountain looking at the stars in silence...

EXCEPT that one scene where she pulls up to Lestat's concert like she's in 2 Fast 2 Furious

it'll be interesting to see how they adapt Queen of the Damned because so little of it is actually from Lestat's pov, and all of it is amazing and cannot be cut out: [Stefon voice] the Twins, Jesse, specifically Jesse being haunted in Louis and Lestat's old New Orleans house, everyone hanging out/playing out terrible interpersonal dramas at the Sonoma compound, NIGHT ISLAND...!

I cannot stress this enough: GHOST CLAUDIA.

I want them to do Body Thief. fuck it, why not. must haves are Mojo, a random hunk with a PhD in Sam Reid's mannerisms playing Lestat for 6/8 episodes, Lestat nearly dying 25 times cos he pilots his human body like a drunk muppet, and, most importantly, Lestat BEGGING David Talbot for some old man pussy

oh and an entire episode set on a cruise ship

my favourite scene from the whole of Body Thief was Lestat turning David at the end against his will cos it was genuinely quite awful and frightening but also. um. you know. awooga

if they include Gretchen, then I would like the opposite of my Gabrielle request for everything post-Body Thief: whenever there's a peaceful, quiet scene it smash cuts to the wilds of South America where Gretchen is absolutely stark raving mad on the floor of a chapel with stigmata

I can't even begin to think about how they'd adapt Memnoch, but regardless I want them to keep the scene where Lestat drinks someone's period blood. thanks

also his cunty little lilac-tinted sunglasses that he will not fucking stop talking about

and finally, human Armand getting drunk and falling into the Grand Canal

bookwise, I am a Lestat girl the house down boots... I love his over-dramatic idiot crybaby ass!!!!! although the final page of Memnoch the Devil made me burst into tears and cry my whole face off until I confirmed that Lestat comes back as the narrator in future books soooo maybe like calls to like. self recognition through the other, etc. I do also get a shot of pure joy every time Armand shows up, especially in Lestat's pov. 'ah, there he was, the Botticelli angel, so beautiful. I fucking hated him. we kissed.' sis THEE dopamine.

currently suffering because I want to a) stop reading the series immediately so I can go back and reread The Vampire Lestat, and yet also b) never ever stop reading the series for love nor money. please help me budget this my family is dying