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ladamedusoif · 1 month ago

Text

Laurels

(Acacius x F!Sex Worker Reader)

Pairing(s): Acacius x F!Reader; Acacius x Lucilla

Rating: Explicit; 18+ MDNI

Word Count: 13.5k

Summary: You met him as a young soldier, brought to the brothel you worked at to celebrate a victory. Now, almost two decades later, his return to Rome in triumph sparks memories of your time together - and the secrets you still hold.

Content Notes/Warnings: Explicit, 18+ MDNI - Sex worker F!Reader; no physical description of Reader except that she is curvy and has hair (but this can be taken as a wig, as was common in imperial Rome); spans events of Gladiator and parts of the sequel; canon-compliant but no spoilers for Gladiator II; we love and respect Lucilla in this house; Acacius is a lover boy; period-typical derogatory terms for sex workers; oral sex (M and F receiving); PiV sex; mutual masturbation; discussion of pregnancy; forbidden love; secret marriage; discussion of death and grief; implied character death; implied that Reader is more sexually experienced than Acacius when they meet; references to alcohol consumption; some uses of strong language

Author Note: I've been thinking about and sketching out this story since I first laid eyes on Acacius in those promotional pictures released during the summer, but wanted to wait until I'd had a chance to see Gladiator II three times before writing it up properly, to avoid any issues with characterisation. I hope you all enjoy it.

I've referred to him as Acacius throughout, as that's what Lucilla and everyone else calls him and because we have no goddamned idea what he's actually called. (I've used certain tags, though, to make sure people see this. Hopefully. Maybe.)

There are some Latin/Roman terms used throughout: lena is the madam or brothel keeper; cella is the part of a temple dedicated to a specific deity; meretrix is a Roman term for a prostitute; mercatus is a market or shopping area.

The cover image is entirely based on authentic Roman mosaics and interiors: top left is a 1st century CE mosaic; bottom right is a 4th century CE mosaic from Sicily of a sex worker with her client; and background is the interior decor of a bedroom in Pompeii.

Dividers by @saradika-graphics.

Enormous thanks to @mescalpascal for beta reading this story.

Follow my writing blog @ladameecrit and turn on notifications to stay up to date with my work.

The city has resonated to the sound of his name these past weeks. A hero of empire, of conquest; the perfect role model for Rome’s young boys, already being prepared from birth for war and glory.

Or, more truthfully, for death.

Today he returns to the city in glory, to be honoured with a triumph in recognition of his role in conquering the far-off lands of Northern Africa. The crowds are already thronging the streets, trying to secure their perfect vantage point to catch a glimpse of the victor en route to be crowned with laurels.

No one notices an ordinary woman in middle age, simply but elegantly dressed in her best clothes for the occasion, discreetly slipping up the steps and onto the balcony of a tavern overlooking the triumphal route. No one pays a woman like that any mind, especially not on a day like today.

You quietly secure your spot and slip down your veil, patting your hair to ensure the style is still in place. Why, exactly, did you go to such effort, knowing you’d be at such a distance from him? Knowing how many years it has been?

You take the cheap little metal effigy you’d purchased from a street hawker from your purse, gently rubbing your thumb over the crude rendering of his handsome face.

You told him he would go far. You told him he would be feted like this, one day, all those years ago. You smiled as you imagined meeting him again, showing him the tiny metal version of himself.

“See? I told you you’d be cast in bronze, didn’t I?”

A ripple of excitement courses through the crowd and it becomes apparent that the procession is near. They cheer and chant his name in unison. A mixture of excitement and fear grips you. Why had you done your hair just so, put on your best jewellery from your meagre selection?

Just in case. In case his dark eyes found yours, again, and bridged the years with a glance.

The rumble of chariot wheels and horses’ hooves becomes more intense, the cheering of the crowd more frenzied. You grip the ledge of the balcony in nervous anticipation, the golden metal of your favourite ring glinting in the light.

For a moment, it feels like being frozen in time. He is a god among men, the bright sun reflecting beautifully off the white and gold of his special, ceremonial armour as he receives the acclamations of the crowd. He’s uncomfortable, you can tell: that nervous wave and unsettled expression giving him away. This is not his natural environment, though you suspect he has had to get used to it since he assumed his command and since his marriage.

You are unable to make a sound as his chariot approaches, overwhelmed by the sight of him, the sound of the crowd, the way he is received and acclaimed with more enthusiasm than any emperor you can remember. He is still beautiful . From here, you can see the streaks of grey that frame his handsome face now, making him even more distinguished than you remembered. His tanned skin only serves to make the white and gold armour gleam all the more. His beard, neatly trimmed, is more grey than dark these days, lending him an air of absolute authority.

But you know that behind the guise of the conquering general, battle-scarred and triumphant, lies another man: strong but gentle, intelligent and kind, a man who likes to laugh and to joke and to love .

She is a lucky woman, you muse.

He’s almost directly in front of you now, and you can see in those soft, dark eyes the brave young man you knew so well, once upon a time.

His gaze shifts. He finds you.

His expression changes to one of surprise and… joy ?

The moment lasts barely a second before he has passed by in the relentless journey to his apotheosis. But you are left with his name on your lips, whispered like a prayer as your mind travels back through the years to the time you first met.

“Acacius.”

***

War is shit. But it’s good for business when your business is your body.

When you left your rural home for Rome as a teenager, accompanied by the man you were promised to, selling yourself was not part of the plan. But there’s little a girl can do, when her betrothed reveals himself to be a liar and a crook. He left you alone, without resource or recourse, when he was stabbed to death over an unpaid gambling debt.

You had certainly landed on your feet, all things considered, and with the benefit of a few years’ hindsight. The lena who ran the place was kind and understanding, the other girls bright and friendly, for the most part, and the brothel itself marketed as a cut above the usual fare for the average legionary, brought to the imperial city after a stint killing Gauls or Goths or whoever the enemy was that week.

Besides, it was even fun , sometimes. You, with your curves and ample bosom, earned a reputation for kindness and understanding. Sometimes you wondered just how many nervous young men had learned how to please a woman from a night or two in your arms.

The night you met, the lena had gathered the free girls together in an excitable cluster, hissing about the arrival at the brothel of a group of young legionaries from various parts of the Empire.

“Some of them are absolutely gorgeous , girls! And they’ve had a recent victory - you know what that means.”

Catalina, who never lacked confidence, grinned. “It means big bonuses.”

The lena beamed. “Exactly. Big bonuses, big tippers… and who knows, maybe big in other ways?” The girls roared with laughter as she clapped her hands. “Alright, neaten up! Best behaviour, now. And as usual with the legions, you’re theirs for the night.”

You picked up a goblet of wine, and you and your fellow whores struck your usual enticing poses.

“Heroes of Rome…my finest girls, for your delectation.”

***

His eyes find yours through the slew of pairings, dark as pitch but warm as fire in the low light of the brothel’s main antechamber. He is, as your lena had suggested, gorgeous : young, beautifully handsome features, clean-shaven; the strong nose and fine jaw universally considered the epitome of male beauty, wavy dark hair curling around his brow in his neat, regulation haircut.

And then he smiles at you. And you are lost, entirely, in the way his eyes sparkle and his open, kind face beams.

The beautiful boy would surely choose one of the more beautiful girls, as was always the way. But instead he strides through the melee, broad shoulders cutting a path with ease, and stands in front of you, a soft, nervous smile on his face.

“Hello, soldier. Where are you from?”

His eyes are warm . He seems kind. You feel a wave of lust coursing through you: if he wants you, you thought, you might really enjoy this one.

“Hispania,” he answers. “But we were fighting tribes in Germania.”

His voice, like warm honey, sends a throb through your core.

“And you have been rewarded with a trip to the imperial city! You must have been really brave.”

He chuckles, a half-smile on his handsome, tanned face. “I tried to be.”

His nerves are apparent in the way he carries himself, in the little glances he gives you, seeking approval. You take his hand, thumb stroking his palm gently.

“Do you want to let me reward you tonight, soldier?”

He nods enthusiastically. “Please.” He gives your hand a little squeeze. “But tell me your name, won’t you? I would like to know your name.”

You tell him with a smile. “And yours?”

His grin is warm and genuine. “Acacius.”

***

The yellow glow of the oil lamps illuminate the murals that decorate the walls of your chamber, and throw shadows from the fabrics draped over the low couch and bed. Acacius looks around, unsure where to sit, and you gesture to the couch.

“Wine, soldier?”

“Yes, wine. Please. Thank you.”

Goblets in hand, you join him and lean slightly towards him. It is impossible to miss the way Acacius’s eyes focus on your breasts, barely covered in the diaphanous folds of your pale, loose robe.

“Do you like what you see?”

His gaze trails upwards to your eyes, and he nods: seriously, with absolute conviction.

“Do you want to see more?”

Another serious nod. You slip out of the dress for him, letting the thin, pleated fabric loosen around you until you are revealed, naked and soft, for his hungry eyes.

One strong arm wraps around your waist while the other fondles handfuls of your tits. He holds you there, mouth finding your nipples, sucking and licking them until they are pert and pebbled and glossy with his saliva.

In that instant, you close your eyes, daring to imagine that this was not a transaction but real : that the gorgeous young man worshipping at your bosom is your lover, all yours , helping himself to every inch of you before he takes you.

“What do you like , soldier? What do you want me to do to you?” You move to your knees before him, putting your hands on his strong, tanned thighs and lightly slipping your fingers under the hem of his short tunica .

He hesitates, breath hitching, eyes wide as he takes in the sight of you between his legs. This isn’t his first time, you suspect, but something tells you Acacius may not be as practiced as some of his comrades in the art of love. The thought of showing him, guiding him, sends a thrill through you.

Your hands undo his undergarment and find his cock. He stammers, trying to find his words to respond.

“Would you like my mouth, hmmm?”

He nods, eyes trained on you, mouth open as you lick your lips and wrap them around the head of his cock. You move slowly, expertly; one hand holding him in place while the other caresses his balls, the way you know men like.

It’s not that you were forced into the profession, not like some of the girls sold into it - though Juno knows, you’d have preferred another line of work. But there, in the lamp-lit room with this big, handsome, polite young soldier falling apart at your skilled touch? It’s a fucking joy .

He whines and gasps as you vary the speed and movement, tongue flicking over his tip before you swallow him back down again. Acacius’s broad hand holds the back of your head as you move faster, taking him deeper. You feel his balls tighten as he falls back on the low couch, moaning and grunting with pleasure.

“I’m…oh fuck , I’m close, I’m….”

He comes in your mouth with a cry, head thrown back on the couch and beads of sweat glistening along his neck, broad chest rising and falling rapidly as he catches his breath.

A discreet spit and wipe and you tuck your naked curves against his spent body, fingertips slipping under the collar of his tunic to trace the line of his shoulders, the hollow of his throat.

He blinks his ebony-dark eyes open, apologetic. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” His exposed cock still glistens with your saliva and his come. “I didn’t mean to finish so quickly. I’m…I’m still dressed .” He grins, you giggle, and both of you burst out laughing.

“No need to apologise, soldier. We have plenty of time, time enough to go again, surely. I’ll help.” You rise from the couch and gesture for him to follow you to the bed.

“First things first - tunic off .”

You survey him now, naked, from your position on the bed. His body is taut and lean; too lean, perhaps, for his broad shoulders and long limbs. A few scars and bruises on his torso testify to his experiences in combat.

“Join me, won’t you?”

He settles close to your own naked form and his eyes move to your tits, pressed against the warm skin of his arm. You reach for his hand and bring the broad, calloused palm and fingertips to cup your breast.

You never forgot the fascination he seemed to have with your body. That first night, he traces the curve of your tits carefully with his fingers, playing a little with your nipples, pinching just enough to make you gasp, cupping and squeezing the soft flesh before caressing every bit of you in turn. The softness of your belly, the meat of your thick thighs and ass, the line of your hips, the flesh of your arms and neck.

Perhaps, you think, it has been a long time since he’s been with someone. Properly, that is. Perhaps his previous encounters were a more rushed affair, skirts hitched up to fuck hastily against a wall or a tree.

Now he can take his time with you. Wetness pools between your legs, anticipating him. You bring his hand to your pussy, guiding him to the little nub of pleasure hidden in your folds as you ride his fingers.

“You feel that?” He nods, transfixed by the way your hips roll against him, the way you pant and moan as you get closer and closer to your peak. “Find this sweet spot on a woman, and she’s all yours.”

He’s getting hard again, you notice, and starts to work you more quickly with his thick fingers. He looks to you for approval, warm eyes round and earnest, and you praise him with breathless words before coming undone on his hand.

“ Gods , that was very good, soldier.” A few strokes of your hand to his cock, and you know he’s ready. “Your turn, now.”

Acacius shifts his broad body on top of yours, using one knee to push you open a little further for him. As he breaches your pussy for the first time, he leans forward and kisses you: slow, soft, tongue slipping between your lips as you hitch your knees up and wrap your arms around his neck.

The young Spaniard fucks you deep and slow, his plush lips brushing against yours as his kisses mingle with both of your grunts and moans of pleasure. Such a display of tenderness is unusual here, where most men have one thing and one thing only on their minds as soon as they enter your chamber.

There have been plenty of young soldiers, plenty of officers, plenty of Rome’s heroes in your arms, in your mouth, in your cunt. Some handsome. Most not. Some respectful. Most rough.

Acacius is…different. You couldn’t explain it, not back then. Not yet. But you know in that instant, as he moves inside you and you look into his dark eyes, that there is something special about this man.

***

He comes to you every second or third night for the remainder of his furlough in the city, to the point that the lena begins to refer to Acacius as “your soldier”. You, privately, miss him on those nights that he does not visit.

He brings you gifts: wine, flowers, little cakes and sweets wrapped in pretty cloth. “You’ll have spent all your coin,” you chide him as you sit together on the couch, drinking wine and feeding each other the treats. “What will you say, if someone asks about the money you earned on campaign?”

Acacius leans in and plots a course of kisses down your neck, culminating at the fastening of your robe on your shoulder. He unpins the brooch and watches the fabric fall with a smile.

“I will say that it was money very well spent.”

***

The lena ’s knock on your chamber door is unusually early that day - not yet noon, you estimate, as you hastily finish pinning your hair and stand to receive her.

She smiles wryly as she leans against the doorframe. “You have a visitor .”

“This early?”

“Might I remind you that I determine the opening times of this house? Yes, this early, but…he wants to take you out .” She throws up her hands in response to your confused expression. “I know, I know, but you’re paid for! Put on something respectable, I doubt he wants you to look like a whore in public.”

You dress suitably, and fix your cloak around you before emerging into the large antechamber normally reserved for meeting clients. This morning, it is silent and empty, save for a lone figure standing with his back to you in the centre of the airy room.

He was a little broader, now, than he’d been the last time you saw him, eight or nine months ago. His arms and legs had grown more muscular, his garments evidently more expensive than the simple woollen tunic and cloak he wore the first time you met.

“Acacius?”

He wheels around and that familiar smile greets you like a beam of warm spring sunlight after the long winter. After a close embrace and a kiss, he stands back to take you in.

“How have you become more beautiful since the last time I saw you?”

You shake your head and laugh, cupping his face in your hands and rubbing your thumbs against the bristling scruff he now wears. “And you seem even more handsome and dashing, soldier. You look like the emperor now, too, with this beard.”

Acacius blushes bashfully. “Perhaps…in truth, it was my commander that inspired it, as he favours a beard too.” He smiles and winks conspiratorially. “But then maybe he wishes to resemble Aurelius, no?”

With a smile you lead him back into the main hall of the brothel and towards the door that opens onto the street. “The lena tells me you wish to take me with you into the city today.”

He offers a little bow in confirmation. “I do. I would like to walk with you, away from these four walls.” A glance over his shoulder in the direction of the lena sitting at her desk, whose all-seeing, eagle-eyed gaze bores into the two of you. He speaks a little louder, for her benefit. “And I have promised to bring you back.”

He gives you his hand, you open the door, and together you step into the bustle of the imperial city.

***

“Am I correct in thinking that isn’t a native Roman accent?”

You nod, looking at Acacius from under your lashes. “It is not. I am a country girl by birth, from a farm in the north.”

He smiles with satisfaction. “I have an ear for accents. Hard not to, when you fight for an empire as vast as ours. How did you end up here, then?”

It is as if he is speaking to a… normal woman, not a whore. You swallow hard, looking at the ground as you compose yourself to answer, not wanting to sully your relationship with this man with the painful memories of the past.

“I…was promised to a man, and he brought me to Rome. But he lied, and he cheated, and he died over an unpaid debt, and I…”

Acacius holds you in his kind, concerned gaze as your words trail off. Enough , you muse to yourself, I have said enough .

“And you…had to stand on your own two feet.” He gives your hand a reassuring squeeze that feels as comforting, somehow, as if it were his warm embrace.

In the mercatus adjoining the new forum, he buys little cups of wine and a jar of olives for you to share as you walk together through the packed marketplace and public squares. The tall column honouring the victories of the emperor Trajan casts its long shadow on the gleaming marble pavements below.

“Perhaps some day they will build a monument to you,” you suggest, a wry smile on your lips. “A great bronze, to the great warrior Acacius.”

He raises his eyebrows in astonishment and laughs. “A monument to an ordinary centurion? I don’t think so, somehow. Now, a statue of my commander , on the other hand, would be entirely more likely and more fitting.”

“You admire him, don’t you?”

Acacius sips his wine and nods. “He is the greatest of commanders and the bravest of men. Kind, too, away from the battlefield. I… I would die for that man.” He turns to you and grins, excited. “Have I told you that he is from Hispania, too? He tells me sometimes that we’re the finest fighters in the empire.”

You give an impressed little coo. “Have I seen this great man? Perhaps he was with the rest of you, that first night…the night we met.”

“He was not.” He takes an olive from the little clay jar, a wistful look on his face. “General Maximus has a family - a wife, a little boy - and such love he has for them as I’ve never seen. He is the emperor’s most loyal general, but in truth he would give anything to return home to them, for good.”

The two of you fall silent for a few moments, each lost in your own thoughts. You study his handsome features as you walk together: his strong, proud nose, now marked with a fresh, livid scar; his fine brow, knitted in thought; the line of his pink mouth, framed by his dark beard.

“Is that something you would like, too - a wife, a family?”

He nods and smiles as he meets your gaze. “It is something I would like very much indeed.”

***

You think of him, worry for him, miss him in the long months of campaigning in far-flung corners of the empire. Without realising, you have become part of an invisible sisterhood: yet another daughter of Rome who goes about her business and makes her living, but whose heart and mind march, always, with “her” soldier. For the first time, you really see the careworn women carrying offerings and lighting candles at the little street shrines or in the temples, muttering prayers to Juno for the safe return of a husband, a lover, a brother, a son.

You try to listen daily for updates from the newsreaders in the public fora, steeling yourself for news of a defeat. Even your work provides opportunities to stay abreast of the progress of the northern legions, as you hone your small talk with clients to focus on questions of war. Though other men might have your body for a short time, your soul is always and only with him , longing for the day he’ll be in your arms again.

He’s gone longer, this time. In your lonelier moments you wonder if perhaps he has met someone else, someone with whom he can have the family life he dreams of.

He is not yours , you remind yourself as you make up your face for another night’s work. He can never be yours .

A commotion coming from the direction of the entrance hall startles you: strong, confident footsteps on the marble floor; the lena ’s voice calling angrily after someone; and suddenly, a knock on your chamber door.

“My sweet, beautiful lady.”

Acacius sweeps you into his strong arms before you have finished opening the door properly, pulling you tight to him and covering your face with kisses as you wrap your arms around his neck and giggle with joy and relief at the sight of him.

“Your soldier hasn’t paid, girl!”

The lena ’s irritation is obvious even from the other end of the hall, her arms folded and jaw set. You break Acacius’s embrace and reach for his hand to guide him into the room.

“He’ll pay, don’t worry,” you call out to her down the hallway. “He’s been away fighting for a long time and he deserves his reward, one can hardly blame the man for being impatient!”

He’s waiting for you as soon as you close the door, cloak discarded and body poised to pin you against the wall as he holds your face in his hands and leans in for a long, slow kiss. He drops one hand and you feel your garment being lifted as his thick fingers make their way between your thighs.

“Gods, I missed you. I’m so sorry I was away for so long.” He sucks on the delicate skin of your neck as you whine with pleasure, his fingertips finding the little nub of your pussy, just like you taught him. “Did you miss me, my love?”

“Mmm, I… oh, Acacius !” First one, then two fingers slip inside you, and you struggle to form a coherent thought. “I missed you, so very much, so much.”

He fucks you with his fingers there against the wall, the sound of your wetness both lewd and erotic as it mingles with your pants and little moans. He’s still in uniform , you realise, wrapping your arm around his leather-clad torso as you pull him tighter to you. Gods, he really couldn’t wait to see you.

“I need to have you here, now,” he hisses in your ear as you edge closer to your peak. “Need to be inside you, feel you again.”

He withdraws his hand and turns you to face the wall, bending your body forward a little and caressing your ass appreciatively. The head of his cock presses against your entrance, opening and stretching you as he slides smoothly into your cunt with a low groan.

“As good as you remember?” You turn to give him a sly look as he starts to fuck you, deep and hard.

“ Better ,” he hisses. A broad hand reaches for your breast while the other grips the meat of your hip, holding you in place. “Been thinking about this, about you …every day, every night …”

His beard bristles against your skin as he angles his lips against your neck and shoulder, sucking and kissing and nipping at you. He’ll leave marks, you know that, and you know you shouldn’t let him, not in your line of work. But instead you just twine your fingers through his dark curls and keep him there, revelling in the sensation as you start to fall apart for him.

Acacius mutters praise and filth into your ear in equal measure: how beautiful you are, how good you feel, how tight your cunt is, how well you take him. The fastenings and metal ornaments of his uniform press into your flesh as he fucks you harder and faster against the wall.

You shouldn’t have let him leave marks on you. And you definitely shouldn’t let him finish inside you. But, more than anything else, you want him to make you his, really and truly, inside and out. As his rhythm starts to falter, a slight arch of your back and an extra tilt of your hips sends him even deeper and makes him come. His groans of ecstatic pleasure as he fills you with his seed are music to your ears.

***

You bathe together in the brothel’s small, steamy bathhouse, your fingers tracing the scars and bruises his strong, solid body had acquired since the last time you were together. Acacius hums with pleasure as you wash his hair and rub perfumed oil into his skin, pressing your lips gently to every mark and freckle.

“I love you, you know.”

Strange, how this impressive warrior could become so vulnerable as he says the words: eyes wide, expression open and hopeful, as he reaches for your hand and kisses your palm with tender reverence.

“I love you, too.”

***

Dawn breaks over the city and the early morning light reaches through your small, high window. The night was sleepless and perfect: lovemaking punctuated by conversation, by fruits and wine, and culminating in your two bodies wrapped naked around each other in your bed.

Acacius kisses you awake, smiling as your eyes blink sleepily open.

“My love is tired, I think.”

You arch an eyebrow and smirk suggestively. “Gods, I wonder why ?”

As you cuddle against his broad chest, you spy a leather coin purse resting on the table beside the bed. The sight pierces your soft, loving cocoon like an arrow to the heart.

He pays for you.

Before you can second-guess yourself, you speak. “You don’t have to pay any more. Unless you would rather continue to buy me…”

His expression shifts from confusion to concern. “What do you mean?”

“You pay for me, but you love me and I love you and…It was different before, but now I think our love shouldn’t be bought .”

Acacius smiles and pulls you to him, kissing your forehead. “I know, my love. And I agree, but… Don’t you think your lena would be suspicious, if I stopped paying?”

“She only gets a cut, either way.” A thought occurs to you. “Perhaps we just give her the cut she’d get anyway, for appearances’ sake? And I’ll tell her you gave the rest to me directly.”

He nods, reaching for you again and holding you close against him.

“Perhaps you won’t need to worry about the lena at all, any more.”

It’s your turn to be confused as you pull back a little and look in his eyes.

“I was going to ask you anyway, I’ve been thinking about this all the time I was away… I wonder, would you be - would you consider being - my wife?”

“I could pay off any debt you owe to the lena, to this place.” He hastens to reassure you, seeing the look of shock on your face. “And I have money enough to buy us a beautiful home, some land… I have been promoted again, since I saw you last, and now we have some time together until the next campaign, we…we could marry, be together. Husband and wife. What do you say?”

Your heart says yes. Yes. Forever and always, yes , thank Juno and all the gods that brought this beautiful man to you.

But hearts don’t make the rules in Rome.

You kiss him gently, twine your fingers through his, caress the dark curls that frame his handsome face. “I would give anything to be your wife.”

He smiles sadly. “But?”

“We can’t . Even if I left this world behind for good, I still wouldn’t be allowed to marry, and -”

“I have known men whose wives were once meretrices , it’s not always so strict,” Acacius interjects.

“Were these men imperial officers with a bright future ahead of them?” you ask, as kindly as you can. “At best, I could be a mistress.”

He frowns and shakes his head. “I don’t have to be an officer forever. I don’t want to do this forever, to wage war forever. So I’ll give it up, find another occupation, use my savings…I just want you , my love.”

His thumb wipes away the tears glistening on your face as you fight the sob rising in your throat. “I want you too, I love you too, but…you are under oath, under contract, are you not? They would come after you if you broke it, I would rather die than see you hurt on my account.”

Those beautiful dark eyes are resigned now, full of pain and all too aware that there is no way for this dream to become a reality. Acacius puts his arms around you and holds you tight to his chest, silently kissing the top of your head.

When he leaves you a couple of hours later, to attend to business elsewhere in the city, you turn over and weep, sure that you will never see him again.

***

Catalina knocks on your chamber door a couple of days later, anxiously looking around her, as if afraid she might be seen.

“I don’t think there’s a rule against visiting each other in our rooms, you know.”

“Can’t be too careful, now, can we?” She lowers her voice and beckons for you to come closer. “I’ve been given a message for you. From your soldier boy.”

You move quickly to sit on the couch, afraid that your legs might give way. “He…he came to you ?”

Catalina laughs a little too loudly, and claps her hand to her mouth. “No, he did not - sent one of the other legionaries to me, just so he could get word to you. Well, not just that, we did have a good time, me and young Sextus…” A knowing smile spreads across her face.

“The message . What was the message?”

She snaps out of her reverie and sits beside you. “Tomorrow, noon. The big temple on the Capitoline, at Juno’s cella .”

You nod, taking in the information and already plotting your excuse for the lena . “Catalina, why didn’t he come directly to me?”

“Apparently he was afraid you wouldn’t see him. He’s got it bad for you, according to his pal.” She turns and pulls you into a warm hug, leaning in to whisper in your ear. “Good luck. I’ll make an offering for you.”

***

He’s already there when you arrive, standing at the entrance to the main cella and dressed simply but beautifully in a tunic, belt, and dark green cloak that only serves to emphasise his strong, broad build. You cross the marble floor to join him and he immediately reaches for your hand.

“I am so glad to see you, my love.”

You smile and squeeze his hand. “But why here?”

“I wanted to talk to you, and I needed courage - so I have made some offerings to the goddess.” Acacius nods towards the doors that lead to the cella of Juno, where priests busied themselves with candles, incense, and laying worshippers’ offerings on the goddess’s altar. “I hope she looks favourably upon me.”

“And me,” you add, and he grins. “Come, tell me. What is it that is so important?”

He leads you away from the cella and guides you through the throngs of people making their way to the great temple until you reach a quieter spot under a small portico.

“I meant what I asked you. I want to marry you, more than anything. I know, too, that the rules of this empire won’t allow it.” He takes both of your hands in his. “But I wondered if we could make our own rules.”

“Our own rules?”

He reaches into the leather purse hanging from his belt, and produces a small gold ring set with a polished garnet stone.

“If we cannot marry by law, then perhaps we might marry in spirit.” He places the ring in your palm, wrapping his hand around yours.

The bustle of the city fades far into the distance. In that moment, it is just you and him.

“You wish this, even though I cannot tend your home, be a real wife to you? In spite of my… work ?”

Acacius nods, hand still cupped around yours. “You will be a real wife, in all the ways that matter to me. And in time I will find a way for us to make a home together.” He looks into your eyes and smiles that hopeful smile you love so much. “And, perhaps, to raise our children there.”

“My work, Acacius. I would still be doing…what I do, at least until then. This does not concern you?”

He shakes his head. “It is a profession, it is not you, no matter what the law says. You do not mind that I fight and kill for a living, this is no different.”

You laugh and shake your head. “I don’t mind, but you are fighting for Rome , for an empire, not…selling yourself.”

“It is a profession .” Acacius reassures you, kissing you on the cheek. “And it is not forever.” He holds up the ring to you again.

Your smile and nod is his cue to slip the gold band onto your finger, leaning in for a deep kiss as he pulls you tight to him and whispers in your ear.

“I am yours .”

A passing temple worshipper tuts loudly at the public display of affection, and you giggle.

“And by Juno, I am all yours.”

***

The wedding feast, such as it is, is wine and sweetmeats purchased from a street vendor and consumed, picnic-style, in a quiet, secluded grove of trees near the river. He spreads his cloak on the ground, helps you down, and lays out the food before toasting you with the cup of wine he pours from a wineskin.

“You deserve a far greater feast than this, beloved.”

“This is already far more than I could ever have hoped for, my love.” You lean in and kiss him gently. “I only wish I could be a wife to you in the eyes of the law, too.”

Acacius shakes his head and strokes your cheek. “You are all I need, just as you are. Hang the law; I will find a way for us to live as man and wife. I promise.”

The dappled sunlight catches the garnet of your ring and you hold your hand up, delighted.

“It pleases you?”

“Very, very much.” You rest your head on his shoulder, both content in the quiet. Such pleasure, you think, to be here, with him - your husband , in spirit if not in law - away from the brothel, from the noise and the lena ’s eagle eye.

His hand drifts gently down your bare arm and along the line of your thigh as his lips find yours again. At your ankle, his thick fingers slip under the hem of your dress, hitching it up as his palm caresses your calf, your knee, and starts to plot a course towards your pussy.

“In public , husband?”

Acacius sighs happily at the word, encouraging you to lie back on the cloak as he moves himself between your open thighs. “There’s no one around, wife .” The bristle of his beard scratches at your neck as he nips and sucks at you, fingers already parting the lips of your cunt. “Aren’t couples supposed to consummate their marriage?”

You chuckle and writhe under his broad body as he pushes one, then two fingers into you. “Arguably we consummated this some time ago, my love,” you hiss, reaching under his tunic to undo the undergarment and stroke his cock. He whines with pleasure and fucks you a little faster as his thumb traces tight circles over that most sensitive, intimate place, smiling as you buck against him.

“What did you tell me, that first night? Find this sweet spot and she’ll be all mine?”

“All yours.” Gods , you’re close. “And I am…I am all yours.”

You come almost as soon as his thick cock pushes inside you, unable to contain the cries of pleasure. You give no thought or care to the possibility of being discovered here, of a passerby witnessing your lovemaking.

Let them see , you muse, as he fucks you hard and deep, fondling your tits through the fabric of your garment. Let them see how he takes me, fills me; how a man makes love to his new wife.

***

He comes to you every night, then, maintaining the fiction of a transactional relationship by having you give the lena her dues directly. She raised an eyebrow sceptically when you first explained the situation, but money is money, and if she suspects anything she does not let on.

In your chamber, you can almost pretend you are a normal couple. You dine together, bathe together, talk together. As he recounts his experiences with his legion, you realise the extent of his unassuming heroism and his nobility. Unlike many of the other soldiers you have encountered in this work, Acacius has a real sense of the human cost of war, of the humanity involved, whether Roman or barbarian.

“It is no wonder General Maximus has sought to promote you, my love,” you tell him one evening as you pour him another goblet of wine. “You are clearly a great leader, as well as a great fighter.”

“He has trained me well.” He sips his wine and looks bashfully at the floor. “He does not seek to waste good men like some of the other commanders; he knows the value of their lives. And we look up to him, admire him, for that.”

Your private connubial bliss must, of course, play second fiddle to the demands of the empire. One night, he arrives with a dejected air, explaining sorrowfully and apologetically that his legion is returning to the northern campaign immediately - far sooner than he had anticipated.

“I thought we had more time, my love. I am so sorry.”

You smile, shake your head, and kiss him. “We will have plenty of time to come.”

That night, the last night together before fate would make her intervention and change the course of your lives, Acacius is content simply to wrap his arms around you and hold you close to him as he sleeps.

***

The emperor is dead, and the city mourns. In the public squares and fora the newsreaders proclaim that Marcus Aurelius, philosopher-emperor, has died on campaign with the armies of the north, and succession passed to his heir, Commodus.

The armies of the north . Your thoughts turn, as they so often do, to Acacius. His commander was close to the old emperor, you remember, and the heir had a rather more difficult reputation. You walk back to the brothel and imagine your love, clad in the fur-trimmed woollen cloak worn on campaign in the north, willing your love and strength to him across the many miles.

Emperors come and emperors go, but life goes on. A months-long series of gladiatorial games is announced, to mark the death of Aurelius and the accession of his son. The lena cheers when she hears the news, knowing that the attendant surge in visitors to the city means a boost for her business.

You keep abreast of political and military developments, as usual, via the more informed and talkative of your clients. Severus, a senior aide to one of Rome’s senators, is always happy to oblige.

“Quite the news from the north,” he says one evening, as you help him unwrap his heavy outer toga.

“Is that so?” Your heart is pounding in your chest, and you steady yourself on the table before pouring him a goblet of wine. “Sit, tell me.”

“A traitor general , if you’ll credit it!” He sips the wine and shakes his head in astonishment. “Cursed the new emperor, took off and left his men. They think he went south, to his homeland. A Spaniard, you know.”

Your breath catches.

“Do you - do you know the name?”

Severus chews the inside of his cheek momentarily. “Marcus? No, that’s not it, it’s…Maximus. Maximus Decimus Meridius. One of Aurelius’s best men, they say, but off he went, revealed as a traitor.”

He puts a hand on your thigh and leans in to kiss your neck, ignorant of the stunned, horrified look on your face as you try to process this information. He does not seem to notice or care that you barely react. You move into position on the bed unthinkingly, letting him strip you and bend you over so that he can fuck you the way he likes.

You barely hear his grunts and moans, barely feel it when he pulls out and spills his come on your back. He says something to you before he leaves, but his words are a discordant buzz. Curled up on your bed, your mind races into the small hours until you drift into a fitful sleep.

***

The weeks pass, the games begin, and the blood of men and beasts stains the sandy ground of the Colosseum day after day. The new emperor, out for blood and driven mad with power, seems to want to undo the work of his father with each passing day, starting by crippling the senate.

Information about the fate of Maximus’s legions is scant and often contradictory. Some say that a new commander has been appointed and that the campaign continues, as usual. Others tell of a mutiny in the ranks, of infighting and chaos. Still more swear that the legions will come south and unite in Rome.

“He’ll come and find you, I know he will,” Catalina whispers to you as she passes in the hallway one morning. “Don’t give up. He’ll come.”

The not knowing is unbearable. You make daily offerings at the little shrines and altars in the streets, praying that you might, at least, discover Acacius’s fate for good or ill.

As you pass a butcher’s shop, you overhear a familiar name, and stop in your tracks to listen as the butcher and his assistant regale their customers with the story of the great general who has become a gladiator.

***

“Where are you off to?”

The lena eyes you up and down in the entrance hall, arms folded across her chest.

“I’m going out for some air and to buy some little cakes, for tonight. We’ve got a while before today’s games are over, I want to take advantage of it.”

“Fair enough. Be back in plenty of time, mind, we want you all fresh and perfumed and powdered!”

You navigate the packed streets, stopping at the baker’s shop to buy a selection of the tiny fruit and honey cakes you like to have in your chamber, before turning back in the direction of the brothel. Your route is a little quieter and you know it by heart, making use of side streets and alleys to avoid the crowds.

You do not notice the hooded man standing in one of the doorways until he steps out in front of you. The parcel of cakes falls to the ground as you cry out with fright, and the man immediately kneels to retrieve it. His fingers caress the back of your hand, and in an instant, you know him.

“You came back to me, my love.”

Acacius lowers his hood slightly, eyes sparkling but alert to his surroundings, and takes your free hand in his, kissing it repeatedly. “Of course, my beloved. I have been trying to come home to you for a while, but given…” He pauses as he searches for the right word. “Given everything , it has taken a little longer than I’d hoped.”

He keeps his hood up as you open the door into the brothel, pulling you back to whisper in your ear. “I’d rather it not be known that I’m here, my love. Not tonight. Here, take this purse, tell the lena I’m a foreign visitor.”

You don’t ask for an explanation. He follows you inside, hanging back in the entrance hallway as you tell the lena that this gentleman approached you in the street and wanted to spend the night.

“He’s a quiet one.” She surveys Acacius suspiciously, and you pray she does not recognise his broad frame.

“He’s nervous, is all,” you suggest, as lightly as you can manage. “First time in the big city, he’s come from a long way off. Best make it a special night, eh?”

She sighs, nods, and counts the coins as you lead the way to your chamber.

***

“I can explain everything, my love, or at least as much as I’m permitted to say.” Acacius takes off his cloak and settles on your couch, pulling you to him. You press your fingers to his lips.

“After. Explain after.”

The lamps and candles cast a soft glow on the contours of your body as you slip out of your dress and gently sit on his lap, tracing the lines of his features with your fingertips as you kiss his face, featherlight.

“I hope I’m not too heavy for you, love.”

He smiles and shakes his head, mouth a little ajar as he takes in the sight of you. “You are perfect.” He tilts his head and sucks on each of your nipples, holding you in place around the waist, as your hand slips under his tunic. A shift of your hips and you are straddling one leg, rocking your hips back and forth against his strong thigh, gasping at the sensation as your cunt grazes against the warm skin, soft hair, and firm muscle.

He watches you, enthralled, one hand resting on your ass and the other squeezing your tits. You hold his gaze, then, caught in the dark fire of his beautiful eyes as you reach your peak and come hard on him, head thrown back and body quivering with pleasure.

“Gods, you are extraordinary.” He helps you stand up and guides you to the bed, tucking a pillow under your head before he strips off and joins you. “My extraordinary woman, I have missed you so.”

His beard scratches against your skin as he kisses your body, moving from your tits down to your soft belly and generous thighs. His lips press against your mound, your pussy, tongue diving into the slick that’s pooled between your legs.

“You taste spectacular,” he murmurs, shifting forward. He kisses you, deep and slow, so that you can taste yourself as he pushes his cock inside you.

“See?”

You giggle as he begins to fuck you, pulling in and out slowly and deliberately, making sure you feel every inch of him and he every inch of you.

The worries and uncertainty fade as you make love, bodies moving in perfect harmony, mingled voices gasping and moaning with pleasure, and sweat glistening on your skin.

After . Explain after.

***

“There are legions at Ostia.”

You pop one of the little cakes into his mouth and settle against his shoulder. Ostia . You like the way he pronounces it, the inflection of his accent.

“Legions?”

He looks at you cautiously. “Legions.” His face tells you he cannot say more, and you fill in the blanks for yourself.

His legion. Maximus’s legions?

“And you rode into the city on…business?”

He nods and reaches for the cup of lemon water on the bedside table. “Business, yes. In preparation for the games to come.”

“Can you stay tonight, or must you return to…?” You daren’t name the place.

“I can stay tonight, but must leave at first light.” He puts his arm around you and lowers his voice. “My love, there may be some trouble in the days to come. I will come for you as soon as I can, but…be warned. Be ready.”

He speaks with such grave sincerity that you immediately understand the stakes involved. “I will be ready, love.”

***

The commotion outside in the streets brings you and the rest of the girls into the main antechamber, wondering what on earth is going on to cause such tumult. There is no sign of the lena , though her ledger and pen have been left in their usual places on her little table.

Althea runs a finger along the edge of the scroll and emits a low whistle. “You don’t think she’s done a runner, do you?”

Catalina shakes her head. “She wouldn’t leave the ledger behind. Or, for that matter” - she gestures to a little box discreetly tucked between a pillar and the wall - “her petty cash.”

The sound of the main door opening hushes the gathering, and the lena strides purposefully into the room.

“Suppose you’re all wondering what’s going on, hmmm? Well, ladies, looks like we’ve got another dead emperor. No-one seems to be mourning that lunatic, though, unlike his father…Anyway!” She throws up her hands and rolls her eyes in exasperation as she seats herself at the table. “Just another ordinary, quiet day in Rome.”

You and the other girls cluster around the lena , asking question upon question as you vie for information. With a roar, she silences you again.

“All’s I know is this - he died in the arena, and it was that Merciful Maximus or Maximus the Merciful or whatever in Hades’ name they call that gladiator who did it. Commodus challenged him to a duel, didn’t he?” She sucks her teeth. “Not the brightest, that one.”

“Maximus?” Your voice cuts through the gasps and mutterings of the other girls. “Maximus defeated the emperor?”

The legions. This is why they were at Ostia, to overthrow the emperor and restore the senate. You wonder if Acacius has already entered the city - indeed, if he was there to witness the fight.

“He did,” the lena sighs. “Fat lot of good it did him, he’s dead now, too. Right! Back to your chambers, we might get a few boys in festive mood now that Commodus is gone.”

Your stomach churns as you walk silently down the hallway and back to your room. If Maximus’s legions had massed at Ostia to march on the city, and were already on the move, who knew what fate awaited them now that the general was dead, leaving a power vacuum at the very top of Rome? Or perhaps, you reason with yourself, the senate will work quickly to restore order, and will not punish the legionaries who were ready to stage a coup. After all, it was the senate they were fighting for.

One way or another, tomorrow you will begin the search for Acacius.

***

Trade was as dead as the emperor that night, much to your relief. In the early hours, you lie awake and stare at the painted ceiling, thinking over and over about the places he might be and where you should start. Sleep, eventually, finds you.

You dream that he has come to you, that he is calling you by name, over and over, shaking you by the arm until you respond.

“Please, my love, wake up.”

No dream at all. He is there, real and whole, sitting on the side of your bed. His handsome face is marked with dirt and grime, hands and knees grubby, as if he has come fresh from a long journey on horseback.

You sit up and reach for his hand. “Acacius…husband. You’re alive, you’re safe.”

He nods in response, until he buries his face in his hands and leans forward, head between his legs, and gives a devastated, feral roar the likes of which you’ve never heard before. You tentatively move beside him, fingers working to undo his cuirass so that you can rub his back through the thin fabric of his tunic. His big, strong body shakes with fury and hurt under your gentle caress.

Neither of you speak for some time. You try to ground and console him with your touch, your closeness; and in time his rapid breathing slows and he raises his head to speak.

“I would have come sooner.” His voice is low and croaky, worn out by a day of shouting. “I would have come…I had to help them, had to get the boy away, get him safe.” He looks at his grimy hands, as if noticing them for the first time. “The road was dusty, I’m covered in the stuff. I’m sorry, I…”

You shake your head and nod at him to continue. Acacius sighs despondently.

“I was in the arena today. Me, a few other officers, other centurions, all loyal to Maximus, the senate, the people. We wanted to be ready, to prepare for the others.”

He reaches for your hand, cupping it in both of his and kissing it with reverent care.

“I…we…” His voice breaks a little. “He died , there on the arena floor. Murdered by his own emperor.” He steadies himself, a note of rage entering his tone. “He was a hero of Rome. A hero of Rome . And that was how his life ended. That was his reward.”

He looks at you, features set hard, eyes burning with anger. And then his face softens, expression crumples, and he cannot hold back the tears as he buries his face against your shoulder.

***

You wash him clean of that terrible day in the baths, anointing his cuts and bruises with balms, ointments, and kisses.

He watches as you apply the mixtures carefully to his skin. “I did not know you were a doctor, sweet lady.”

“No doctor,” you smile. “Just some knowledge passed from my mother and aunts, about healing plants and balms. I like to keep a few with me, just in case.”

“Just in case?”

“In case I marry a soldier.”

When he is clean, you dress him in a plain tunic from the linen cupboard and take him to bed.

Acacius rests his head on your bosom as you stroke his hair, his strong arm draped across your body. After a time, he breaks the silence.

“How can I keep fighting, if this is the fate of a Roman hero?” He shakes his head a little. “And yet, I am bound by my oath to serve.”

You kiss his forehead and stroke his cheek, tracing the line of a scar. “What would he say to you now?”

He looks up at you with those pitch-dark eyes, permitting himself a little smile. “Apart from ‘how did you ever manage to get a woman as lovely as her to marry you ’?”

You raise an eyebrow. “Apart from that.”

“He would probably say that the dream of Rome is worth fighting for.”

“I think you have your answer, then.”

He does not seem entirely convinced as he sits up beside you and leans in for a kiss. “Perhaps.” Another kiss. “Or perhaps only love is worth fighting for.”

You lie down and pull him to you, happy to feel his solid weight on top of you again. “Aren’t you fighting for love, though, when you fight for Rome?”

“If only she weren’t such a cruel mistress.” He kisses your neck, tugging down the neck of your robe to expose your breast. “Gods, I need you, my love.”

With your help, he discards his own tunic and takes off your dress. He sits back on his heels for a moment, running his big hands up your bare legs as he looks into your eyes.

“I am all yours, Acacius.” You extend your hand to him, guiding him into position. “Let me help you forget it all, even if just for tonight.”

He moves forward on top of you, holding your gaze for a few moments as he caresses your face and strokes your hair. His kiss is tender but urgent, his hand reaching for your breast as he starts to grind against you.

“All yours, my love,” you repeat, watching as he moves back down your body. “Take me as you wish, as you need.”

He tries to take in every part of you with his mouth, lips moving with desperate need and grazing over your tits, your soft belly, your hips. One, two thick fingers slip between your thighs, keen to remind you what you taught him that first night together. You writhe against him as his beard scrapes against the delicate skin and curls that cover your mound, unable to stop yourself guiding him between your legs.

”Mine. Mine .” Acacius mutters the word as he hooks his arms under your thighs and buries his face against your cunt, nose rubbing against you while his tongue parts your folds. It’s as if he wants to devour you, such is the urgency with which he sucks and laps and licks. He runs his fingers over your dripping core and drops his hand to his cock, using your wetness to stroke himself as he continues to eat you out. He laps greedily at you as you come, your slick still glistening all over his face as he shifts forward and enters you.

He holds you down as he fucks you hard, fingers twined through yours, sweat dripping from his beautiful body onto your tits. There’s a desperation to his lovemaking tonight, a desire to escape his grief by losing himself in you - in your cunt, your flesh. He comes with a roar, filling you with life as he tries to rid himself of the bloody memory of death.

***

He leaves in the early morning, following military orders to assemble at the Field of Mars in spite of his misgivings and wavering loyalty. You make love before he goes: slow, soft, congress in the dawn light.

You watch him dress, sitting up naked in bed. “Be careful, my love.”

Acacius fastens his cloak and leans in for a final kiss. “You too, love. I will come for you as soon as I can.” Before he leaves the room, he nods towards a leather pouch resting on the table.

“That isn’t payment , in case you are wondering. It is my duty as your husband - some money, should you need it urgently while I am away.” He looks as though he would rather sacrifice himself in the arena than leave. “I love you.”

That was the last time you saw him, until he appeared, a decade and a half later, as a vision in white: the triumphant hero of empire.

***

The crowds have dispersed now, the city humming with excitement at the prospect of a series of games to celebrate the feats of Acacius and his army in Numidia.

The terracotta oil lamps cast a warm, comforting glow around your small home, nestled in a side street in a decidedly unfashionable part of the city. The brothel is firmly in the past for you now, as you earn a living making medicinal balms and ointments, using recipes learned from your mother and aunts. You prepare your simple evening meal and eat it quietly, preoccupied all the while by Acacius.

He had seen you today, you were sure of it. What did he remember of you, of your love, of the secret “marriage” of spirit the two of you had entered into? Had he recognised you at all? He had grown even more handsome with the passing of time. You were not sure the same could be said of your beauty.

The little metal figurine lies on the table before you, your fingertips tracing over the outline of the man you had loved so much. With a gentle sigh, you move to the corner of the room and retrieve a plain, well-worn wooden box from the chest that holds your most precious possessions. He fits in well here, this Acacius, nestled among carefully-folded fabric you have preserved like a relic all these years.

What might have been, in another world. But you have your memories, and your relics, and the comfort of having seen him one more time, after all these years.

***

A day or so later, you are about to turn in for the night when you hear the distinctive sound of a horse coming to a halt just outside your home, swiftly followed by a firm knock. A knock on your door at this hour is not usual , but neither is it unexpected or unprecedented. People have, on occasion, come in urgent circumstances, desperately seeking this balm or that ointment.

You reach for your mantle and open the door a little. “Tell me what the problem is and I’ll get you what you need, if I have it.”

The cloaked figure at your door chuckles, turns, and takes down their hood.

"So you really do live. I am not sure one of your fine balms could fix the problems I’m facing, dear lady.”

You steady yourself on the doorframe, unsure whether to laugh, cry, or touch him to make sure he’s really there.

“Oh, gods… Acacius .” You shake your head and correct yourself quickly. “I mean, General Acacius, I… how ?”

“Acacius, please. I’ll always just be Acacius with you.” He crosses an arm over his chest in a gesture of honourable sincerity, those dark eyes warm and oh so familiar, even after a distance of nearly twenty years. “May I come in?”

You gesture towards the table at the centre of the room and close the door, still not quite believing that he is really here , in your little home. He is no longer wearing the dress uniform, you notice, spying a simpler tunic and belt under the cloak.

“I have some wine, if you would like? Nothing like the fine stuff you’re used to now, of course, but…”

“Anything you have is perfect.” Acacius moves closer to you and reaches for your hand, pressing his lips to it and smiling with delighted recognition when he realises you still wear the ring he gave you. He seems reluctant to let go, caressing your hand in both of his as his eyes take you in from head to toe. “I am so happy to see you…I thought I would never see you again. I…”

Before he can finish his sentence, you throw your arms around him and pull his beautiful, broad frame to you in a tight embrace.

***

The conversation is light, at first - small talk, mostly about the triumph, about the campaign in Africa, the sheer weight of the special armour and cloak he had worn for the procession, his relief in seeing his wife, Lucilla.

You smile when he mentions her. “You are both very lucky indeed, I think. She’s much loved, very beautiful, kind… maybe now you are home we will see more of her in the city? She is missed by the people.”

Acacius purses his lips. “Her movements are…not always in her own hands, these days.”

You nod in understanding as silence settles over the two of you.

He sips his wine and takes a deep breath. “I came back for you, did you know that? All those years ago. I kept my word, my vow to you. But you were gone .”

He tells his side of the story simply, though at times he struggles to keep his emotions in check. After Maximus’s death, it was well over a year before Acacius saw Rome again. In the political turmoil that followed the demise of Commodus, young officers like him were deployed to various parts of the empire to secure the Roman presence - and, he suspected, to prove their loyalty to the litany of new emperors who followed in quick succession.

“As soon as I got back to the city, first chance I got, I went to find you. And everything was different - a new lena in the place.” He shakes his head at the memory. “When I asked about you, she…well, she said you were gone.”

You press your fingertips against the surface of the table. “I had returned to the family farm, I meant to come back, but…”

Acacius nods. “She knew you had gone to your family, but she told me you were dead . Said the news was that you’d died, a few months after you left Rome.”

He tells how he refused to accept your death. He searched for you as best he could, trying to piece together the little he knew about your life before Rome, before the brothel, before him . Dead end after dead end eventually convinced him, against his instincts, that you were really gone.

”I mourned you as a…a husband . Grew my hair for the period of mourning, didn’t trim my beard…” He smiles sadly. “I even covered my head and burned that linen tunic you’d dressed me in, that last night we spent together, in lieu of a funeral pyre. It was all I had of you.”

You reach for his hand, noticing the scars and callouses that were not there the last time you held it so tenderly. “I am so sorry, my lo-” The words came as easily as they did that last morning together. You checked yourself. “I mean, Acacius .”

He squeezes your hand and continues. “I kept telling myself I had let you down. Had I been here I could have helped you, made sure you were safe, protected you.” A sombre look darkens his features. “When I saw you up there in the crowd, for an instant I wondered if I was seeing things, if you were an apparition…reminding me that I had failed you.”

“You could never fail me, Acacius. Never. Not then, not now.”

You sip your wine as you prepare to tell him your side of the story.

“I left Rome a couple of months after you did, and went back north to my family. I had to go but I intended to return, because I knew you would keep your word.”

Silence, again, and you know exactly what he’s going to ask you.

“Why did you leave the city…why did you have to go?”

Another sip of wine.

“I was with child.”

***

When you were absolutely certain, about two months after he left, you packed your things and made the necessary arrangements. His money helped pay your way northwards and home - and paid off your outstanding debts to the lena .

“Don’t you have siblings who can look after your ailing mother?”, she’d said, already starting to count your coin. “Can’t be doing with losing good girls like you, these days.”

“Only my brother remains on the farm, and he cannot manage it and care for my mother at the same time.” It wasn’t a lie , not really. Your sisters were scattered, and since your father’s death the farm was your brother’s responsibility. And strictly speaking, he did have to care for your mother - even if she wasn’t ailing in the way you’d described to the lena to justify your sudden departure.

You looked carefully at every soldier you saw on the road north, hoping against hope that one of them might be yours . In a roadside tavern you even asked after Acacius, after you overheard a group of legionaries talking about Maximus, but to no avail.

At home, you were circumspect about your situation in Rome - and about the circumstances of your pregnancy. Pressed repeatedly by your mother, you told her the father was a young officer who loved you very much.

“And where is this lover boy, now that he’s got a child on you?” She surveyed your swelling belly with a mixture of irritation and resignation.

“He returned to his legion and we have had no word since.” Another not-really-a-lie.

Your mother rolled her eyes, but could not disguise the sympathy in her tone. “Tale as old as time.”

You did whatever work you could, within the limits imposed by your condition. And one day, as you rested for a few moments in the meadow, the sun glinting off your garnet ring as your hand lay protectively across your swollen stomach, you felt the child quicken in your womb.

In your lowest moments, you worried that your certainty about paternity was misplaced, given the nature of your work. With every fibre of your being, though, you knew that this child was his. It could be no one else’s.

You planned, originally, to give birth and raise the child to the point where they could be taken care of by another while you worked. At that stage, you assumed, you and your child would return to Rome - and to Acacius.

But fate dealt a very different hand

***

There’s shock and sadness and a kind of excitement, even, in Acacius’s eyes as he listens to you tell the story. Realisation dawns: he was a father .

His voice is hushed. “A boy or a girl?”

You squeeze his hand, as much for your own comfort as for his. “A boy. And your double, from the moment he came into this world - all dark eyes and curly hair and even strange little habits and gestures that I knew were yours . I…named him for you.”

“A son .” He seems awestruck. “I have a son . Gods, I wish I had known.”

“I am so sorry, Acacius, I wish I could have found a way to tell you, for you to know…but I had no idea where you were, how I could find you or reach you.” You swallow back the tears. “Truly, please forgive me.”

He shakes his head and leans a little closer to you. “You don’t need to apologise, there’s nothing to forgive.” He kisses the back of your hand again before wiping an errant tear from your cheek.

You look at him - really look at him, really take him in properly after all this time apart. He wears his age beautifully, from the lines on his face to the silvery strands of hair that frame his brow. Acacius has acquired more scars in his years of soldiering - across the bridge of his fine nose, a more livid, longer mark to his right cheek. But his eyes, in spite of all the terrible things he has seen and all the blood he has spilled, are as warm and kind when they look at you as they were the first night you met.

“I always meant to come back to the city,” you continue. “I thought we’d return once he was old enough, find you again, and somehow make a life together. And then my mother died, and I couldn’t leave my brother to tend the farm alone, and my… our boy was so happy there. You were rising through the ranks, too, and a woman and child would have been the last thing you needed.”

Acacius shakes his head, regretfully, and sips his wine.

“Did you tell him? About me?”

“As soon as he was old enough, yes. I told him all about you.” You smile at the memory of that time and tell him about your little boy’s bright eyes and dark curls, the wide smile on his face as he dashed here and there on the farm, chasing chickens and helping his uncle plant seeds. Your brother whittled him a rudimentary wooden sword, so that he could fight imaginary battles in the fields and cry out, with all the force his little voice could muster: “I am Acacius, hero of Rome.”

“He’s near a man now, I suppose?” Acacius looks around the room, as if making sure he hasn’t missed the boy somehow.

You close your eyes as another memory casts a long, dark cloud of grief and pain: a memory of fever sweeping the countryside, of the horror as your bright, clever boy fell ill overnight, of your desperate attempts to heal him. And that indelible image, the one that still wakes you at night, sometimes: your brother, tears rolling down his weathered farmer’s face, carrying the small body in its small shroud.

***

Acacius says nothing for a long time, just holds your hand on the table and stares at his cup of wine as he tries to comprehend what you have told him. He breaks his silence with just two words.

“How old?”

“He was seven.”

You rise from the table, gently squeezing his shoulder as you cross towards your wooden chest and take out the plain wooden box where you had placed the miniature Acacius a couple of nights before. Settling back beside him at the table, you remove the lid and show him the contents.

“Is this…” He smiles wryly at the little figurine, picking it up to examine it more closely.

“I told you, didn’t I? They would cast you in bronze some day, Or, if not bronze, whatever that is.”

Carefully, you take out the rest of the items you’d stored with such love since the day you lost your beloved boy. A small tunic. A pair of his sandals, still marked with dust from the farm. A wax tablet, inscribed with his rudimentary letters and numbers.

Acacius handles his son’s belongings as though they are the most precious objects in the world. He turns a little figurine of a soldier, carved from bone, over and over in his palm.

“He loved that one best.”

It is strangely comforting and intimate to sit with Acacius in this shared grief, watching him somehow try to know the little boy he never met through the few belongings he left behind in the world.

“Acacius…” He looks at you, eyes glistening with tears, and you fight the urge to embrace him again. “I think you should keep that. If you wish, of course, but -”

He nods, cupping the toy in his big hand before placing it with great care and tenderness in the leather pouch on his belt.

“I can carry him with me.”

***

Before he leaves you, you give him a jar of your very best healing ointment as a parting gift.

“For your next campaign, to help with cuts and bruises.”

He kisses you on the cheek, smiling as he opens the jar and inhales the warm, fragrant aroma of the balm. “I hope to get some respite from the battlefield for a while.”

You grin. “I’m glad to hear it. And I am so glad that you have a wonderful wife to go home to.”

His travelling cloak once more around his broad shoulders, Acacius bids you farewell and holds you in a long, tight embrace and murmurs into your ear.

“I loved you so very much. Always remember that.”

***

More games. More bloodshed. You stay at home, away from the festivities and the crowds.

Another late-evening knock to your door, and this time you decide not to answer. The games have brought a rowdy crowd to the city, and it’s impossible to know what awaits on the other side.

They knock again, firmly, clearly. Not the knock of a drunk, you muse.

You open the door to a young man, dressed in the typical garb of a servant, and a woman of regal bearing, dressed in a simple hooded cloak.

“May I come in?”

She leaves the servant outside and checks that the door is firmly shut before she takes down her hood, revealing her fine features and blonde curls as you gasp in recognition - and panic.

“Gods! I mean…my lady, I…”

Lucilla smiles that sweet smile so beloved of the ordinary citizens and reaches for your hand, attempting to steady your evident nerves. “Please, don’t be alarmed. I cannot stay long, but…may we sit?”

Dumbfounded, you gesture towards your simple wooden chairs, watching in astonishment as the daughter of Marcus Aurelius seats herself at your table. She nods towards the other chair, encouraging you to join her.

“I am very sorry for arriving like this so late in the evening, unannounced. I do hope I’m not putting you out.”

You shake your head quickly, panic and terror still written all over your face, and she chuckles gently. “Please, I meant it - you have nothing to fear from me. And yes, I know my husband came to see you.”

“He…I mean, I…I mean, we …”

Lucilla places her elegant, pale hand on the back of yours by way of reassurance. “I know. He has often spoken of you to me - and of his sorrow at not being able to protect you. When he realised you still lived, well…I simply wanted to meet the woman who meant so much to Acacius. We have a lot in common, you and I.”

For a moment, you wonder if you are dreaming. Most women would rather ignore their husband’s past loves, let alone want to visit them.

“You didn’t mind that he came to see me?”

She shakes her head, blue eyes meeting yours. “Not at all. In fact, I encouraged him to seek you out, after he saw you during the triumph.”

“I…I’m not sure I understand, my lady.”

“We’ve lived , you and I, haven’t we? When Acacius and I met, I had already lost so many people. My husband, my father, my brother…and the man who was my first great love.”

Lucilla looks away for a moment, emotion threatening her poise. She speaks haltingly, more quietly now. “And I lost my son, too. I was very sorry to hear about your boy.”

In that instant you forget all etiquette and protocol and extend your hand to hers, to comfort and to share the burden of your common grief. No more a former prostitute and the daughter of a great emperor - here, at your rustic table, you are simply two women united by the experience of loss.

“So we do have much in common, it seems, my lady.”

“We do. And that’s without even mentioning Acacius.” She smiles at you conspiratorially, and laughter fills the small room.

“It haunted him, not having been able to find you again. Not getting to say goodbye, to tell you how much you meant.” She pulls her cloak more tightly around herself and rises from the table. “I was able to bid farewell to my first great love. When we realised you were alive, well…I wanted my beloved Acacius to have that chance, too.”

Before she takes her leave, Lucilla embraces you, kissing each cheek. “Thank you for loving him so well, all those years ago.”

You nod, still not quite believing that this conversation is really happening. “And thank you , for loving him now. And for encouraging him to visit me. He…he married a very good woman.”

She pulls up her hood and moves to the door, pausing for a moment. “He has always had impeccable taste, it seems.”

A final smile and nod, and she is gone, helped onto her horse by her servant before they ride away into the night, and home to the waiting arms of a hero of Rome.

#acacius x F!reader #marcus acacius x reader #marcus acacius fanfiction #gladiator ii fanfiction #marcus acacius smut #general acacius #general acacius x reader #general acacius x you #marcus acacius oneshot #general acacius x lucilla #gladiator fanfiction #gladiator ii #gladiator movie #laurels fic #ladameecrit #pedro pascal character fanfiction

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joojeans · 9 months ago

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˚◞♡ ⃗ I Dare You Pt. 3

♡ Bestfriend!Nicholas x Afab!Reader

♡ Summary: You’re sitting on the floor with your friends playing a juvenile game–truth or dare. Things have been spiraling out of control for some time now, but what happens when you’re dared to turn on one of your best friends without touching them? Can they handle it? Can you handle it? Spoiler alert: neither of you can. Find out how things go from seriously fucked up to seriously fucked, one member at a time.

♡ WC: 3.9k

♡ Content: lbr nicholas needs a warning all on his own, nicholas is falsely confident at the beginning, the boys are on each other's asses, reader is head empty only nicholas (real), oral (f. receiving), fingering, unprotected sex (be smart), 'baby' used a couple of times, creampie

♡ PREVIOUS | SERIES MASTERLIST | NEXT

“You’re so cute. You can barely handle telling us a little dirty secret without your ears getting all red.”

You can barely hear Nicholas–your attention on K’s phone as he shows you a funny video–but you know he’s talking to Euijoo. It was just his turn during this round of truth or dare. You think you remember the question being about a fantasy of his, but you weren’t really paying attention, to be perfectly honest. You thought K wasn’t either until you hear him scoff at Nicholas’s teasing, looking up from his phone with a taunting smirk.

“I wouldn’t talk if I were you. You get a tent in your pants if the wind blows the wrong way.”

You look up now, choking back a laugh at a smug Euijoo and an annoyed Nicholas, tongue pushing into his cheek.

“Hey, fuck you.” Nicholas retorts, half playful, half deadly serious.

“Prove it then.” Euijoo. Silence follows for a second as everyone looks at him curiously. His ears are burning slightly from all the attention, but he’s determined not to back down right now. “It’s your turn. Let’s see how easily you crumble with a little attention.”

“Bro, unless you’re planning on making a move on me, I’m not following.”

Euijoo hesitates for a moment, realizing he hasn’t thought his plan and its implications through. He reluctantly looks in your direction but he can’t bring himself to say what he was thinking. Luckily for him, Fuma seems to understand. He chuckles.

“Y/n, I think he’s suggesting that you should be the one to give this a go.”

You watch as Nicholas’s eyes grow wide, shocked. Somehow even more shocked, Euijoo sits up straight from his spot on the couch, shaking his head insistently. “N-no. I didn’t mean that. You don’t have to do that. I don’t know what I was thinking. I don’t think I was–”

“Euijoo, relax. It’s fine.” You laugh, a fondness in your heart. “Obviously I should be the one to give this a go. Look at me. He wouldn’t be able to resist.” You wink, hoping to soothe his nerves. It seems to work, his shoulders relaxing and his bright smile creeping back onto his face.

You dart your eyes next to him: Nicholas. He looks antsy–nervous?–thinly veiled with surety. As expected.

“So? Are you going to let me try? I believe this is your dare, so it’ll look really embarrassing for you if you chicken out.” You’re poking the bear. You’re smug.

Nicholas exhales a laugh, his eyebrows indicating his surprise at the situation he’s found himself in. “I’m not going to stop you.”

You smirk. Perfect. “Okay, so what are the rules?” You ask, glancing at everyone else for guidelines. Nicholas probably doesn’t have much of a say here.

“I think…” K starts, humming as he ponders. “Everything is fair game as long as you don’t touch his dick. That would be too easy.” The other men mumble their agreement, heads nodding.

“Easy enough. You ready?”

Peacocking, Nicholas sits further back into the couch, spreading his arms out along the cushions on either side of his head. He lets his legs fall open, inviting you to his entire body. No verbal confirmation needed.

You don’t believe him. You know you can get him to fold. Without wasting much time, you stand up and make your way to the couch. Once you’re standing in front of Nicholas, his eyes firmly on yours, Euijoo quickly moves from his end of the couch, taking the seat on the floor next to K.

You’re just gazing at each other. He’s looking up at you like he’s expecting your best effort. You’re looking at him like you can’t wait to fuck with his head. Smiling much too sweetly, you slowly lower yourself to your knees in front of him. His eyes follow you, a glimmer of fear igniting in them. You know exactly what he’s afraid of. He knows he’s fucked already. He’s still trying to pretend that’s not the case.

“Hi, Nicholas.” You coo, both hands curling over his kneecaps.

“Hey,” he says simply. He doesn’t plan on giving you much to work with. That’s okay.

“I hope you’re having fun tonight.” Your hands glide slowly up the tops of his thighs, venturing to the outer sides as you move higher, careful to avoid his crotch. His eyes are trying to decide whether to look at you or watch your hands, ping ponging back and forth. “I know I am.” Your hands move up to his hips, finding the waistband of his jeans. Your fingers curl into the belt loops on the sides.

And then you pull.

Just enough to yank his body down the couch a bit more. Just enough to have his torso almost parallel to the ceiling. The soft, surprised gasp that pushes out of his lips is gorgeous.

Just this much is enough to extinguish the confidence in his eyes almost completely.

You fight the urge to smirk at him, keeping up the innocent appearance despite your actions being anything but. You untangle your fingers from his belt loops, your hands hovering by his sides as you look up at him. “That’s better, isn’t it? Much more comfortable this way.” You muse the words, not believing them, but selling them to him anyway. You keep your eyes on his as your thumbs hook under the hem of his t-shirt. You push your hands up slowly until his stomach is exposed to you and then you stop. His lips are parted in awe.

In an attempt to lighten the tension that’s building up in his body, Nicholas forces a laugh. “Y/n, what are you even doing? This is ridiculous…”

“Mm.” You hum, tilting your head like a confused puppy, your lashes batting sweetly. You don’t humor him, instead leaning down towards his stomach. You see his skin jump as you approach it, your lips far too close. “Pretty,” you mumble, bringing your hand up to stroke the small tuft of hair above his jeans. He tenses more. You smile.

“Y/n.”

You pause for just a moment to look back up at him. You want to give him the opportunity to stop you if he’s uncomfortable, but he doesn’t say anything more. You know it’s just stalling. So you continue, moving your hands to hold his waist securely as you close the space between the two of you, placing gentle, open-mouthed kisses on his stomach.

You can tell from the shaky exhales and the single fuck that you both know he’s lost already. You don’t need to do much more, but you’re having a good time. You move your lips over his skin, covering every inch of his stomach with a wet kiss.

To your surprise (and pleasure), you feel Nicholas’s hand slide into the back of your hair, his fingers curling to hold you there, to keep you doing what you’re doing. The unexpected move makes you freeze for just a moment, your attention momentarily drifting to a stirring in your stomach. You’ve got to finish up. You are not supposed to be the one turned on by this.

Eager to put an end to this before it gets out of control, you set up for your final move. Your lips kiss down the soft happy trail guiding you to his jeans. You don’t have to see Nicholas to know he’s watching with bated breath, secretly hoping you’re going to properly finish him off.

Alas, that would be against the rules.

Taking advantage of his hope, you move your lips just over the waistband of his jeans, collecting the button in your mouth. You pull just slightly with your teeth and then the worst thing imaginable happens: Nicholas moans.

Oh no. Now the sensation in your stomach is wafting lower, taking up residence between your plush thighs.

You let the button snap free of your teeth and pull back slightly. You internally recenter yourself as best as you can, taking notice of the fact that Nicholas’s jeans aren’t hiding his obvious arousal. Seeing your success lets you forget your own growing arousal momentarily, a proud smirk on your lips as you look back up to Nicholas. “Well, would you look at that?”

Groaning when he realizes you’re really going to stop here, Nicholas rolls his eyes and grabs a pillow, placing it over his lap. “Oh, fuck off. Any of the guys in here would have responded the same.”

The room erupts with snickers. Not sure where to sit now that Euijoo is in your spot, you move up to sit next to Nicholas on the couch. He’s mindlessly playing with the rings on his fingers, trying to distract himself from his own urges. You almost feel bad until you remember how smug he was.

Everyone tries to steer the night back into a less tense direction for the next few minutes, but it’s not working for Nicholas.

“I think I’m gonna head out.” He says suddenly. “Thanks to all of you, I now have a problem to take care of.” Assuring everyone that he’s not upset, he playfully throws the pillow he was holding at Euijoo and smiles the way he always does. He turns to look at you, equally playful. “Thanks, y/n. You’re truly evil.”

You watch as he stands up, tucking his phone into his pocket and grabbing his keys from the table. He says his goodbyes and then he’s gone. Just like that.

Or so you think.

Only moments after the front door closes behind him, your phone vibrates in your pocket. You pull it out only to find a message from Nicholas.

Meet me at my place in 20.

Oh. Oh.

You look up, relieved to see none of the guys are paying attention to you, too busy staring at K’s phone screen like you had been doing earlier. It’s a perfect out, you realize.

“Well…” You start, waiting for them to look at you so you know you have their attention for the small act you’re about to put on for them. “I think I should get going too. You guys are entertaining yourselves and I think I need to wash my mouth out with soap after what you made me do.”

K laughs. Fuma and Euijoo nod their understanding, wincing as if they were the ones that were touching Nicholas like that. No one protests.

As you step out of the uber outside Nicholas’s apartment, reality finally settles in.

What am I doing here? Why did I just do what Nicholas told me to do without thinking about it? Why did I make up an excuse to come here? Why am I not changing my mind? Why are my feet already making their way to his door? Why am I knocking?

Nicholas opens the door and only then do you realize how fast your heart is beating.

He looks exactly the same as he did before but you’re not seeing him the same right now. Without a word, he steps to the side, inviting you in. He seems to be pretty sure that you’ll do so, but can you blame him? You just came to his apartment without so much as a question. You step inside, feeling the light of his apartment dim as he closes the door behind you.

You’re just standing there now. You feel and must look awkward, but you’re not sure what to do. You have an idea of why he might’ve invited you, but you don’t want to assume and look like a fool in front of him. So you just stand. Waiting.

You glance down when you feel Nicholas’s hand capture yours in his, gently pulling you to him as he leans against the wall perpendicular to his front door. You’re pressed to his chest–hands resting there–and your eyes are locked on each other’s. He lets go of your hand, letting his hands take up residence around your waist instead. His hands feel secure on your lower back.

Everything is way too quiet for how bizarre this is.

“So did you have fun?” It’s like he could sense your objection to the silence.

“I…” You swallow, not quite sure how to answer. “Yeah.”

A small smirk on his lips, a peek of pretty teeth. “Yeah?” His tongue glides over his bottom lip, one of his hands playing with the hem of your shirt at the back. He never takes his eyes from you. “So then we should keep having fun, right?”

You narrow your eyes, partly to disguise your intrigue. “That’s what you called me here for? It was a dare, Nicholas. I didn’t come here to fuck you.”

“I didn’t call you here to fuck you. I just thought we could maybe…” His eyes fall to your lips, his smirk widening. He glances back up to your eyes, briefly searching for a hint of opposition and finds none. He drops his head slightly, pressing his lips to your jaw, kissing across it until he’s in perfect proximity to your ear. “I thought maybe we could make out a little. What do you think?”

You don’t think. You can’t. All you can do is feel the burn from his lips and imagine that feeling everywhere else. Your eyes close briefly as you try to find some semblance of self-control. Nicholas must notice because he allows himself a soft chuckle before taking hold of your chin. Your eyes open again and he’s looking down his nose at you. “If you don’t tell me you’re not interested, I’m going to kiss you.”

You can’t even pretend to yourself that you don’t want him to kiss you, but you’re too stubborn to admit you want it. So you keep quiet, swallowing the remnants of the resistance you never had to begin with. As promised, Nicholas leans in, hand still holding your chin in place for him, and presses his lips to yours.

It starts out light, lips barely moving against each other, afraid to do more than they’re supposed to. Nicholas’s free palm presses flat against your back, pressing you even closer to him, and your mouth opens in surprise. Nicholas takes this as an opportunity to test the waters, licking into your mouth, slowly, carefully, pleased when you moan in response. He drops your chin, his hand sliding into your hair instead as he pushes the gentle kiss into a heated meeting of lips and tongues, his other hand sliding down the back of your jeans, palming the flesh covered by flimsy panties.

Everything is escalating quickly all of a sudden, but it doesn’t feel like that. It feels good.

You let your body fall against Nicholas’s, trusting him to keep you on your feet. One arm moves around his neck, the other hand feeling the skin beneath his shirt. The skin your lips were on not so long ago. You feel the muscles there tense beneath your fingers, his mouth punctuating the effect of your touch by taking your lip between his teeth. He bites hard enough to warn you, but not enough to hurt. You’re not deterred.

Your heads are tilting this way and that, mouths opening and breaths taking on weight as you kiss each other like you’ve been dreaming about it. It’s messy and desperate. He’s trying to pull you impossibly closer and you’re trying to memorize the feeling of his skin. You don’t miss the way his hands tighten in your hair and squeeze your ass each time he pulls a moan from you. You don’t miss the way he’s straining against his jeans, grinding yourself against him, pleased yourself when he groans into your mouth.

He pulls back, shaking his head to clear it, his hands freezing where they are before dropping to his sides. “We should stop.”

Your head is still spinning. You’re still reeling. “I–why?”

Nicholas leans his head back against the wall and looks at you, panting. “Because we’re getting to a point of no return.” He pauses, exhales heavily. “And I want to respect your boundaries.”

No.

You’re panting too, looking at him, searching his eyes. “What if I changed my mind?”

He cocks his head, unsure if he believes you. “You better not be playing with me right now, y/n.”

“I’m not.”

Famous last words.

Nicholas scoops you into his arms, carrying you to his bedroom. His lips are on yours the entire way, not giving either of you a second to think yourselves out of this. He carefully lays you down, hovering over you as he follows. His hands are all over you now–ghosting, groping, gliding. You’re pulling at his shirt and he’s all too happy to pull it off for you, only needing one hand to do so. He tosses it away before his hands focus on yours, sliding it up your body so he can kiss your stomach, his fingers working the fasteners of your jeans.

You use the moment to try and catch your breath, your back arching into every kiss Nicholas places around your navel. So fucking pretty, you hear him mumble more to himself than to you. You sigh dreamily, pushing your hand back through your hair as Nicholas lifts your hips to pull your jeans off. He kisses up the insides of your legs starting from your feet until he’s reached his target–your wet, panty-clad cunt. He presses a kiss to the center before peeling them away, smirking as he listens to you whimper for more contact.

His mouth finds your now-exposed sex like a starved man, tongue swirling around your clit and dipping down through your folds to gather your arousal, to taste it. He hums his satisfaction, eyes closing as he lets himself enjoy feasting on you. You’d swear you’ve never felt anything like it. Your hand grabs at his hair, pulling for some sense of grounding, and he groans, the vibrations only adding to your pleasure.

Nicholas takes your clit into his mouth and sucks, allowing his eyes to open and look up, wanting to see the way your body shakes in response. You do just that, moaning louder than you anticipate, and Nicholas eats it up. He doesn’t want to make you cum too quickly so he releases your clit, letting only his fingers glide through your slick. “You’re so wet, y/n,” he notes with a smirk. Just an observation, he’d say if you were to challenge him.

“Just take your fucking pants off,” you quip with a smirk of your own.

“Yes ma’am.” He’s grinning now, one hand pumping two fingers into your cunt while the other undresses his lower half.

His fingers feel good. His rings are adding to the stretch and the cold metal makes you shiver. “Fuck,” you sigh, sure you’re in a wet dream. Nicholas chuckles lowly before removing his fingers, much to your dismay. He moves back up your body, letting you watch as he cleans your arousal from his fingers with his mouth. You watch in awe, feeling new waves of it pooling between your thighs. He winks when he finishes, his face hovering just above yours, his hand gripping the side of your neck.

“Last chance to tell me to fuck off.” You can sense his hand stroking his cock between your bodies, waiting only for your go ahead. The cocksure look on his face says he knows you won’t be doing that.

You roll your eyes, both annoyed and fond. “Don’t make me change my mind again.”

Nicholas grins, lowering his mouth back to yours. He’s more nibbling and tugging than kissing this time, his hand guiding his throbbing cock inside you. You both hiss at the initial stretch and resistance, both pairs of eyelids fluttering from the relief. He pushes inside you slowly, making sure not to cause you any discomfort while he bottoms out. “Fuck, you feel so good.” The rasp in his voice is enough to make you clench around him and he hisses again in response.

You tilt your head back as Nicholas’s hand travels up the side of your neck, taking hold of the side of your face as he starts to move, thrusting into you at a pace you both can adjust to well. He keeps your face turned to his with his grip and even though it makes everything feel more intimate than maybe it should, it’s also really fucking hot. “Feels good, baby?” He asks, his eyes boring into yours, his hips slowly picking up their pace. You nod because yeah. It feels so fucking good. Too good, maybe.

You like the feeling of Nicholas keeping you in place the way he wants you. You like the way he’s constantly kissing you as he fucks you, groaning against your lips when he thrusts into you particularly hard, grinning when you moan his name. You like the sight of his hair dripping with sweat and his thick silver chain dangling above you. You like the way he pays so much attention to you, especially when he starts fucking into you at a relentless pace that neither of you will be able to withstand long. You like the way he asks you if it feels good, if you want more, if you’re going to cum for him when he feels you quivering beneath him.

“Fuck, I’m going to cum too.” His voice is so low now that you almost can’t hear him properly. He finally looks away from you, eyes trained on your lower halves. His mouth is open as he puts all of his concentration into hitting just the right spot inside of you, sucking air through his teeth as he staves off his own orgasm until he can pull one out of you. “Come on, baby, cum for me. Let me feel you.”

But you don’t need to be told. He’s hitting that sweet spot that makes you see stars, your head pressing back into the mattress under you and your hands clutching at his arms. The moan that accompanies your orgasm is lewd, echoing your gratefulness for release. You twitch as he fucks you through it, equally grateful for your orgasm so he no longer has to postpone his own. His eyes squeeze shut as he releases inside of you and he’s never looked prettier–jaw tense but open, brows furrowed, skin gleaming with sweat. The strangled moan is on loop inside your head, music to your ears.

As Nicholas comes down from his high, he opens his eyes once again, smiling weakly but happily at your fucked out face. He carefully pulls out of you and gathers you in his arms, rolling the two of you over so you’re laying on his chest. His chest is heaving beneath your head, his arm securely around your lower back. Again, you feel like this is maybe a little bit more intimate than it should be, but it still doesn’t feel that way. It just feels comfortable with Nicholas.

You stay silent for a few minutes, both of you catching your breath and recovering. As your brain comes back to you, you have a question.

“Nicholas?” “Yeah, baby?”

You ignore the ‘baby.’ You’ll correct him later. “When we were playing the game earlier, were you imagining what it would be like if I gave you head?”

He laughs. He wasn’t expecting that to be the question right now. “Uh…yeah.”

You laugh now. “So…why was I the one that got head then?”

Nicholas thinks. He thinks some more. “...Ladies first?”

You both laugh this time. He’s implying there will be a next time, you think to yourself. You don’t correct him. You’ll do that later too.

#nicho #nicho smut #&team smut #andteam smut #andteam nicholas smut #&team nicholas smut #nicholas smut

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felassan · 13 days ago

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Dragon Age: The Veilguard art book pages, under a cut due to spoilers:

Top center: We designed a lot of Tevinter props to float, to make sure you were never far from some display of magic. Top right: A Shadow Dragon secret decoder ring. Center: Floating chairs may have a tendency to drift. Center right: Nothing helps you figure out a place like designing its food. Bottom left: It is much easier to light a room with floating lanterns. Bottom right: Candy tastes better out of a floating dish.

The Fade The Fade is the scrap heap Solas created when he made the wall of the Veil and threw all the magic in Thedas over it. It is inhabited by magical creatures, spirits, and demons. It is shaped by the dreams of people in Thedas. Some locations in the Fade seem coherent, resembling places from the other side of the Veil. Others are chaotic abstractions. Top right: The Crossroads are a separate dimension beyond the waking world and beyond the fade. It has been described as a tiny world between the eluvians. Center right: The Black City, once known as the Golden City and the heart of heaven, is a city in the Fade said to be the former seat of the Maker or the realm of the Old Gods, depending on the religious perspective. Bottom: Today the Black City is a place of darkness and nightmares with cold and twisted spires, "its towers forever stained, its gates forever shut". A floating island with the city atop it is the one constant geographical feature within the Fade. At any time, one can look up and see it in the sky, always in the distance. Actually traveling to the Black City from elsewhere in the Fade is impossible. Even the most powerful spirits and demons seem to avoid the place lest they become tainted.

Veil Jumpers Ancient magic awakens! Arcane powers are spinning out of control! Mysteries abound! A fabled lost kingdom now stirs with dreadful monsters and strange conjurations spawned by the dreams of mad elven gods! Who dares brave the uncharted depths of Arlathan Forest to confront the dangers that lie within? Top left: Some Veil Jumper gear is made from scraps they've found along the way. Every now and then they find fully intact gear from the ancient elven empire. Top right: A mix of mage-scholar and warriors, they launch expeditions to map the unknown reaches of the territory and search for relics. Center: The Veil Jumpers have integrated a lot of the magic technology they've scavenged in Arlathan. Annotation on illustration in top left of page reads "Alternate mask".

Top left: They wear gear that is best suited to detecting, surviving, and in some cases, collecting magical anomalies. Top right 1: Their gear is dyed to blend in with the perpetual autumn of Arlathan Forest. Top right 2: They have different specializations, ranging from daring explorers to mages who research the dangerous anomalies of the forest. Center left: A more ceremonial outfit. No telling what kind of gear is needed when dealing with unstable magic. Center right: A crack team of Veil Jumpers have long guarded the innermost regions of Arlathan, protecting its secrets from outsiders - but also containing the dangers that life within. Now they must mount an expedition into the heart of the unknown to battle the chaos and safeguard the legacy of their people. Their goal is reaching the never-before-glimpsed ruins of Arlathan City. Bottom: They've built heavy-duty magical protection suits to wear when they need to enter areas they know are highly dangerous.

Artifacts from that long-ago time have begun to activate. Infused with the powerful magic that saturates the very ground in the forest, they have made what was already a dangerous place far stranger and more deadly.

Arlathan Forest Arlathan Forest, once the seat of power for the ancient elven empire, is now a realm where magic runs wild and twists reality itself into new and terrifying shapes. Right: Images like this often start with simple block levels from designers. We try to push concepts pretty far. The final level sits somewhere in the middle.

Top left 1: Ominous remnant. Top left 2: The forest in agony. Center: Despite being abandoned for millennia, many of the ruins still hum with life. Bottom: The fallout from the ancient destruction of Arlathan City stirs once more. Magical eddies and vortices long dormant are coming to life, transforming the land into a dangerous territory few dare tread. Even now, after thousands of years, some regions of Arlathan Forest still remain uncharted. Tales of legend say the ruins of the ancient elven capital lie somewhere deep within its borders...

Top: Explore deep enough, and you'll find many of Arlathan's ruins are still in pristine condition. Center: Early exploration of Veil Jumper treehouses, campsites, and activities. Bottom: The remains of one of several ritual sites that can be found in Arlathan.

Top: The ruins of Arlathan are crumbling, but then they're not: now they're floating away like dandelion seeds; now they're upside down... Center: To differentiate it from previous forest and jungle locations in Dragon Age, we went with an autumnal color palette. It has the benefit of feeling ominously like the end. Bottom: Arlathan was once the capital of the elven empire in Thedas. Most of it has been drifting through the Fade for millennia, so what we see in Veilguard is a small overgrown remnant of its former glory.

Finding doors to both strange new lands and familiar old lands.

Top: An Archdemon awakes. Center left: We've seen elven ruins since the first Dragon Age game. Arlathan is what remains of the former capital of their Thedas-spanning empire, so we wanted to imply more grandeur than ever. Center right: The first view of Solas's ritual site from the opening of the game. Bottom: Solas's ritual starts to bend reality as the Veil is weakened.

Top: The Veil Jumpers are rarely comfortable setting up camp in the ruins. They'll often create smaller bases with their aravels. Bottom: This place may be deadly, but it can still be beautiful.

Using magical technology to full advantage.

In the early stages, this faction was a more archetypal elven faction - with some shapeshifting thrown in for good measure.

Top left: For the Veil Jumpers' salvaged technology, we wanted something simple and versatile that didn't look too futuristic. Center left: We went with triangular bronze plates that can be reshaped as needed. Center right: Veil Jumper symbolism. The "skull halla" implies their willingness to risk death. Bottom: Of the most primitive shapes, triangles have the strongest association with danger.

Top left: Artists thrive on limitations. Designing weapons made entirely from triangular pieces proved to be a ton of fun. Top right: Magically summoned arrows that manifest as the archer draws the "string". Center: We explored many ways Veil Jumpers could carry their technology. These early "gloves" eventually became Bellara's gauntlet. Bottom: Veil Jumper plates can be used offensively and defensively.

Top left: An examination table for discovering the secrets of Arlathan's magical artifacts. Top center: Containers for trapping and carrying the more mysterious anomalies. Top right: Some mysterious objects turn out to be benign enough for daily use, like these light sources. Center: Assorted salvage and some of the equipment used to study and record it. Annotations on illustrations near top of page read "1) Plug. Turn to align triangle in circle. Opens here", "2) All pieces stuck together when dead, expand when charged. Becomes unstable when overcharged. Dead. Charged. Overcharged. Collapses again in plug", "3) Wall plug", "4)". Annotation on illustration near bottom of page reads "magnifying lens bracelet".

Top right 1: Instruments and artwork help make a faction feel more grounded and believable. Top right 2: Diagrams of some of the more terrifying mysteries encountered in Arlathan Forest. Center 1: Veil Jumper props are all about field research. They carry simple camping equipment for the necessities, along with storage containers for all the technology and anomalies they're likely to find. Center 2: The Veil Jumper aravel is like a mobile base camp and laboratory on wheels. It can hover slightly above the ground, allowing it to enter locations a normal wagon couldn't. Center right: A classic southern aravel. Bottom right: The Veil Jumper aravel has been designed for their extreme circumstances.

Wardens The Grey Wardens defend civilization from what goes bump in the night. Heads high, eyes open, and swords drawn, they walk toward what most people would flee. From darkspawn lurking in the shadows to monstrosities beyond imagination, the Wardens vanquish our greatest nightmares - until the Calling pulls them into the very darkness they fight. Working with the Wardens means standing side-by-side in the face of overwhelming odds. They have a grim sense of duty, but one that's balanced by an exhilarating sense of adventure, unwavering determination, and a little gallows humor. Top left 1: Ultraheavy armor. Top left 2: A Warden executioner. Center left: With each faction, we explored a range of aspirational fantasies. For the Wardens, this ranged from knights in shining armor to brutal tanks to a Nietzsche quote: "Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster." Center: A dwarven Warden. Center right: For each faction, we designed their most expensive gear. In this case, the ultimate ceremonial heavy armor. Bottom: After being corrupted by Corypheus in Inquisition, the Wardens will once again play the role of heroes - if undeniably flawed ones, as so many Dragon Age heroes are.

Top right 1: Many people can become Wardens, and they can bring their own flavor, from the flashy Orlesian set to the freed gladiator to the legendary dragon hunter. Top right 2: Because most of the Anderfels is a desert wasteland, we mixed in more elements of desert survival. Top right 3: In previous games we saw southern Wardens. We thought it would be interesting to explore what made their northern cousins distinct. Bottom: Dragon theme on the left, griffon theme on the right.

Anderfels The Anderfels is a vast red desert that is often quite cold. It is also regularly attacked by roving hordes of darkspawn. Everything is built to withstand this harsh environment. Top: The war room at the heart of Weisshaupt Fortress. Center: Weisshaupt Fortress - the ancient and mysterious Grey Warden stronghold - rests in the southern Anderfels. A mere shadow of its former self with large portions left dark and unused, it still supplies and houses the Warden Order. A temporary haven in a harsh land... until the gods destroy it. Bottom: The home of the Wardens in Thedas. Weisshaupt is designed to be a mix of European and Middle Eastern castles.

Top right: A Warden outpost keeps watch over an Anderfels valley. Center: Early versions of Weisshaupt were based on classic castles. Bottom: There are Warden outposts built all across the Anderfels. They serve as refuges for civilians when darkspawn make their way to the surface.

Top: The Grey Wardens are a beloved faction who have been part of the Dragon Age universe since the beginning. The Wardens combine aspirational heroism with the Joining, the Calling, and the Blights - some of our eeriest lore. Bottom: For centuries the Wardens have had one mission: combat blight in all its forms. It's a mission that's carried the Wardens to the darkest corners of Thedas, and they've encountered no shortage of demons, monsters, and undead along the way. The Wardens know that evils besides darkspawn lurk in the shadows - and always will.

Top: An early image of a Warden stockade, still standing after an onslaught of darkspawn. Griffon riders fly through plumes of smoke as the fallen burn below. Center: Wardens are always the first to throw themselves into danger. Bottom: A heroic Warden makes his last stand.

Top left 1: A Warden wanted poster. Top left 2: Warden props were designed to reflect a care for craft and tradition mixed with a sturdiness to endure the centuries. Center right: To bring more life to the world, we thought about what industries would keep the Anderfels afloat. We took the prominent Warden blue color and envisioned an industry harvesting flowers, creating dye, and then weaving copious amounts of blue fabric. Bottom center: Darkspawn specimens. Bottom right: Warden murals depicting the glory days of griffon riders.

The ballista and trebuchet were designed with unusual standing "cockpits" to make interacting with them easy and fun.

The Hub The most important aspect of the player base was that it should be easy for the players to use. We wanted to create a very practical space and then wrap a fun narrative metaphor around it. We wanted it to be smaller than Skyhold, so that players spent less time running around to visit followers. The house idea survived through multiple iterations because it solved this problem well. Top left: The central room in the Lighthouse. Top right: Dragon Age: Inquisition had the war table with your three advisors. For Veilguard, we created a less formal table, surrounded by your followers. Bottom: The kitchen starts with Solas's sad single bowl of porridge and eventually becomes the warm heart of the Lighthouse.

Bottom: A room that was never built, full of Qunari artifacts and a sand garden.

Top: As the story developed, the idea solidified that Solas, now bound in the Fade, would give you access to his secret base of operations. This tied the base to a main character, giving us a chance to explore Solas as a character, like wandering around a friend's house for the first time. Center: The idea we worked with was that Solas, during his years rebelling against the evil gods, would have used his magic to "steal" the equivalent of a train station and hide it outside of the waking world. This hub of eluvians would have allowed the evil gods to get around their Thedas-spanning empire quickly. Solas used this to fight against the evil gods and, later, to accomplish his plans faster than most could keep up.

some other pages -

Some opening pages

Foreword

Google Books preview pages Part One

Google Books preview pages Part Two

Amazon preview pages

Page batch

Page batch 2

Page batch 3

Page batch 4

Page batch 5

Book art credits:

BioWare art: Matt Rhodes, Ramil Sunga, Albert Urmanov, Christopher Scoles, Nick Thornborrow, Steve Klit

Volta art: Gui Guimaraes, Stéphanie Bouchard, Akim Kaliberda, Alejandro Olmedo, Alexey Zaryuta, Julien Carrasco, Maksim Marenkov, Marianne Martin, Mariia Istomina, Marion Kivits, Matti Marttinen, Mélanie Bourgeois, Pablo Hurtado De Mendoza, Rael Lyra, Rodrigo Ramos, Thomas Schaffer, Tiago Sousa, Tristan Kang, Vladimir Mokry, Yintion J, Joseph Meehan, Stefan Atanasov, Julien Carrasco

Additional art: Marc Holmes, Thomas Scholes

#dragon age: the veilguard #dragon age the veilguard spoilers #dragon age: dreadwolf #dragon age 4 #the dread wolf rises #da4 #dragon age #bioware #long post #longpost #video games #solas #feels #blood cw #gore cw #body horror cw #injury cw #smoking cw

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