#he’s out of the woods now guys

[jaybee2000]

What most people are celebrating on July 4th

🇺🇸🎆🌭🍔🇺🇸🎇

Or

🇬🇧🗳️🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

What I’m celebrating

⛈️🎧🏛️🏺⛈️

[formosusiniquis]

any cosmo girl would have known

“Oh she did it for sure.”

“Steve!”

“Ten bucks, Bobert, don't give me that look last time we agreed double or nothing.”

“No,” Nancy insists. “This isn't Murder, She Wrote or Scooby-Doo or Columbo-”

“You saw who did it in Columbo at the beginning,” Eddie reminds.

“I know it's an awful show.”

Robin and Steve remain in sync enough to each get a hand on his shoulder to keep him from getting on the coffee table to defend the only good cop show in existence.

“I'm only pointing out,” she rewinds the VHS taking it back the two or three minutes they'd talked over before stopping it completely, “that this is a movie, not a drama with a repeated format that Steve can pattern recognition into predicting.”

“You haven't seen it already, right?” Robin asks. “The one rule of Monthly Middle-Aged Movie Night is you have to pick a movie none of us have seen.”

“No, I haven't seen it already. If you'll all remember when I asked you each to go see it with me I got,” he points to each of them in turn. “‘Wouldn't you rather see Tomb Raider?’ from double VHS, prestige cinephile and ‘That's too much pink for me, baby, you know I have that intolerance, maybe Rob or Nance will go?’ from my emo-isn’t-a-phase husband. And ‘I'm a little busy with this new story, Steve,’ from Nancy, the only one of you with a real excuse.”

“Some feminist you are, Birdie.”

“I don't want to hear it from you. I watched two of the blandest men alive pursue Renee Zellweger while the screen writers tried to convince us she was homely because you ‘forgot’ you had band practice.”

“You said you liked it!”

“It grew on me, but sometimes you just want to see a woman in a tank top. And I won't be shamed by the same man who cried during Beauty and the Beast.”

“I went with my sweet baby Lucy Joan, you miserable hag,” Eddie says, “and they turned that hot werewolf into a boring looking man.”

“You weren't into that? Look at who-”

“Why am I getting made fun of? Can we finish the movie?”

“No, I'm not going to let this be another Sixth Sense situation,” Nancy says, holding the remote hostage, she knows no one will try to take it from her.

“Ugh don't even bring that up,” Eddie groans, “Dustin still mentions it in at least one letter a year.”

Nancy nods, prim and proper, “Exactly, so tell us right now why you think she did it, then we'll play it again.”

“Chutney, the daughter,” Steve corrects, “have you even been paying attention? Her hair's permed.”

“And press play,” Eddie shouts.

“No,” Robin smacks his hands as he makes his ballsy play to reach around her for the remote. “Show your work, Dingus, even I didn't follow that one.”

“I don't always like the movies everyone else picks but I at least watch them. Her hair is permed, she said she was in the shower. She would have had to have been washing her hair if she didn't hear the gunshot and she has a perm.”

“You can wash your hair with a perm,” Nancy points out.

“You would know.” Eddie snarks, fingering the ends of his own hair.

“You can't wash a fresh perm, you'll fuck up the ammonium thioglycolate. Then you're out forty bucks and you've got limp hair. She killed her dad and lied about being in the shower.”

“Press play,” Eddie decrees again, leaning in close to Steve's side to purr, “it's pretty sexy when you go all hair care detective.”

His hand starts to slip below the blanket. “This is how we ended up with Lucy in the first place,” Steve reminds him, just under the sounds of the courtroom drama picking back up. It doesn’t stop Eddie’s hand from wandering until the movie’s climax starts getting closer, and Eddie’s attention is captured just like Robin’s and Nancy’s.

“Unbelievable,” Robin says, when Elle cites the perm salt.

“Never again,” Nancy swears, when Chutney screams her confession.

“Lucy’s been asking for a brother or sister,” Eddie flirts, as Elle reveals that any good Cosmo girl could have solved it.

No more movies with mysteries or twist endings for a while, they all agree, Robin can’t afford to keep betting against Steve.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Someone asked why my cat guy was in a bikini, and the answer is: Men and them can wear bikini’s too!

To demonstrate, here’s Lan Wangji and his brunch friend Elle Woods at their weekly summer hangout.

[fujii-draws]

OKAY! Chatot rant in tags below! Read at your own discretion.

[moeblob]

Rice. From my plot that's literally just a game of chess. (he's a rook)

[megamindsupremacy]

okok my brain not braining rn but.... smth smth stan starting to figures tbings out when SHERMIE calls asking ford to watch the kiddos like

stan: hello? if this is the irs you can talk to me in person!

shermie: ford blah blah blah kids blah summer blah blah

stan: (why tf is my brother calling this ford guy????? and familiar with him?????) uhhhhh...

OH HEY i hadn't even read this ask when I wrote my response to that other one so I guess we're just on the same brainwave with "Shermie is the one to ask Stan to take care of the kids"

Stan is so confused because like. Shermie is his brother. He knows Shermie is his older brother. Everytime someone mentions Stan's brother they're obviously talking abut Shermie. Right? So why is Shermie calling up Stanford (how does Shermie know Stanford exists? So why does his brother Shermie somehow know who Stanford is? Does he know Stanley stole this random dude's identity? Except, no, Shermie thinks Stanford is his brother, which is super weird. And Stan is so absolutely baffled about this whole thing that he finds himself agreeing to Shermie's request before he can think through "taking care of a couple of kids for an entire summer"

[irenic-raccoon]

Peels my skin off peels my skin off peels my skin off peels my skin off

[lycanlovebites]

I’m having normal thoughts about boys right now ok (I have a deep visceral need to hunt someone through the forest, nothing but the sound of him gasping and breaking through the brush with his heartbeat thrumming like an animal of its own in his chest and in my ears, my paws beating against the earth as I race after him, teeth clicking and practically foaming at the mouth at his scent. Just him and me in the dead of night. And when I finally catch him I pin him to the ground and fuck his brains out under the full moon <3 )

I can be left alone with a pretty guy in the middle of the night under a full moon. Yeah just leave him by the forest :) no yeah don’t worry abt it haha yeah I’m just gonna go out for a run :) it will be good for me and also him. Enrichment :) being hunted by a big werewolf counts as a couples exercise right

[xxplastic-cubexx]

so I'm a bit of a car buff. i do all my own servicing on my car and i've helped rebuild countless vehicles. i know the sound of a straight 6 engine better than the sound of my own name. i had to uber somewhere today and the car was a tesla and i have never understood magneto more.

the lack of vibrations from the power of the engine, the lack of weight from said engine that altered where the line of thrust was for said vehicle? I truly felt like erik, locked in that concrete prison cell unable to sense any kind of metal. it was actually very disorientating 🤣😅

now i cant stop thinking about erik reacting to electric/plastic panel cars.

hey so im in love with this ask i hope you know that

[acourtofquestions]

“She had no magic to wield, save for the keen eyes of the goddess at her shoulder and an uncanny ability to remain unnoticed, to play into expectations.”

[totally-not-an-awkward-okapi]

Look man I just think it’s a shame that Lon Chaney Jr’s horror film debut usually gets cut from the roster.

[irbcallmefynn]

I think it's funny when a youtuber does something even vaguely related to being an animal and feels the need to triple down on saying "I'm NOT a furry guys stop saying I'm a furry I'm not!" While continuing to do things that very much frame them as a furry.

It's even better when they lean into it as a joke. Going out of there way to do vaguely furry things like picking animal characters over human characters or playing very much furry games while still going "Nope! Not a furry guys you can stop now!"

And then this peaks when they just be a furry after that. Not hiding it not denying it. Maybe it isn't a big part of their online presence but they commission someone to make them a fursona. Maybe they commission a fursuit for a one-off bit. Popular furry games pop up every once in a while on their channel. They attend furry conventions.

Fucking gold if you ask me

[im-still-a-robot]

Terrible opinions in the vc tonight 😔

[hauntingblue]

I have connected two dots... yamato kaido and momo (and kinda shirahoshi with her top) have clouds above their shoulders... and luffy in gear fourth has them also.... I can see the signs

[cantankerouscatfish]

idk if my uncle who liked to pop out his glass eye and scream as if injured to scare people ever knew my parents' friend who got into a fake fight with a close friend at a party which resulted in a knife buried to the hilt in his leg and everyone else running away screaming, but at the very least they'd have some stories to share.

[kunikisss]

hes soo dreamy (saw him twice in the hallway and fell immediately)