#he’s like FOR LEGAL PURPOSES THIS IS A JOKE

[shadowdavutoglu]

FMK with the Jolly Rogers 😘💀

"F - Ansel, if I have to, so he’ll finally shut up about his Assassin Bingo Card. But mostly in order to:

M - Charlotte, because I might get some money out of our inevitable divorce.

K - Killing someone from your own gang seems counterproductive, and like a good way to get yourself killed too. But for the sake of the game, I’m going with Asa, because the fewer people my mother gives dessert to, the more there’ll be for her own family. Also because I don’t trust him."

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

*Jigsaw voice* Hello, Ryan Guzman. And Oliver, I presume you're reading over his shoulder or something. Hi. Hey can you pet your dogs for me. Especially Jade. She's such a good girl. Give her some nice ear scratches and tell her I said she's a good girl.

Uh. Anyway. Where was I? Oh yes.

HELLO RYAN. I WANT TO PLAY A GAME.

I have heard that you like reading Buddie fanfic. Good for you. Isn't Mr. LAFD Updates Man funny? But. I have concerns. Concerns that you might have only read my fic where Buck is a stripper. Also the breeding kink fic. We all know why. And hey you do you. You're welcome.

HOWEVER

I have fics that are much better that I think you should read instead. Please choose one of the following:

Zombie Apocalypse AU

Greek Mythology BDSM Club AU

Reincarnated Soulmates AU

Vampire/Vampire Hunter (+ Reincarnation! Again!) AU

You are not obligated to leave a comment but you must post a picture of yourself in a silly hat so that I know you have read one of them. Don't worry you wear silly hats a lot so I'm sure it will be easy for you.

Oh I almost forgot! You have five minutes and then I unleash the piranhas.

K THANKS BYYYYEEEE.

[thegoatsongs]

Alexandre Dumas wrote the stage play Le Vampire aka The Return of Lord Ruthven the Vampire, a sequel to Polidori's The Vampyre.

In it, Lord Ruthven returns and confronts a female Ghoul called Zizika who raises the dead, and they become deadly rivals over human prey. Female vampires and a fairy are added into the fray.

So in 1851 Dumas wrote fanfic for The Vampyre and created several OCs for it.

Go create too!

[mxtxfanatic]

I don't want to put this in the tags, since people are just having fun, but I figure you probably won't mind hearing my anon-complaints. I'm getting super annoyed by the recent influx of Jiang Chang related SVSSS crossover posts (and fics to a lesser extent).

Seeing JC interact with the PIDW world could be incredibly interesting, but the posts I keep spotting are all about the woobiefied fanon version of JC. JC and YQY are not all that much alike (JC isn't remotely loyal to WWX), and I don't think he'd get along well with LQG. The JC and SJ dynamic actually does seem like it would be fun to read, but with how toxic they both are it would be 'fun' more in the 'watching a car crash in slow motion' sort of way, rather then anything wholesome.

Anyway, mini-rant over!

Fanon: Everyone in svsss would just love Jiang Cheng!

Canon: Shen Qingqiu would take one look at Jiang Cheng and just assume that the natural state of PIDW requires a canon fodder villain to be killed. Assuming he was some previously no-named lackey, after the second time Jiang Cheng attacks Luo Binghe, Shen Qingqiu wouldn’t try to save him, anymore. Nobody else would have even cared to try.

Anyways, I know exactly what posts you’re talking about and exactly which blog keeps making them. Unfortunately for me, tumblr is trying this new thing out called “if the blog you blocked is a jc stan, the block doesn’t count,” so fuck people “having fun” in the tags. If I can’t have fun with canon on my own dash, no one is allowed to have fun with fanon on it, either 😤

[keepthedelta]

if lewis hamilton sponsors himself/ferrari next season does this mean that people can start calling him a pay driver???

[daily-suyao]

[stonedtrek]

I finally recovered the rare CD of my favorite Alaskan ska band and ripped their Star Trek song "William Shatner" for y'all

[panncakes]

speaking out on the war against day on the side of day

[hetalia-club]

Can we talk about something for a second babes?

If anyone in my real life life found out who my animated crushes were I would simply just ✨ pass away ✨ like on the spot like a fainting goat just dead. Like if fucking just random ass normal Jessica with thee kids at my work found out I have a crush on the anime personification of our great nation of The US of A….

I would quit my job on the spot. I wouldn’t even say a word I would just turn around and walk straight out the door. No “sir I would like to submit my two weeks notice”. I would just dip.

I would change my name and move to Mexico where I would sell tamales out of a cart for the rest of my natural life

I would dig a big hole really quickly and burry myself inside of it like bugs bunny and a grave would just manifest on top. And say “rest in piss”

I would move to Manitoba and build a cabin with my bare hands and live off the land. Maybe meet a nice burly mountain man who teaches me to fish and in turn I could teach him how to love

I would move to the swamps in the Louisiana Bayou and become a swamp witch where I would do blood magic for tourists.

Mayhaps I would join a 40s traveling circus and become a carnival barker. I could be the one who drums up business for the freak show. “Step right up, steap right up folks” then when I pulled back the curtain the stage is empty and I go stand in the middle. It’s me I am the freak.

[poledancingghostson]

This new theory of Marvin being a weatherman??? What can I say except I disagree!!!!!!!! Big no to that one! Sorry new generation of the Falsettos Fandom I'm vetoing this that man does not work a job in front of a camera

[kas-pose]

do you think drake and kendrick should make out i mean make out i mean make out make.. make ..,., uu .,.,. uuuuu..,,,,hh

cus they re so obsessed with each other i think thats pretty gay

No because Kendrick is 37 and Drake likes them barely legal

[philophobic-paracosm]

alright who the fiddly diddly fuck let this man give her six fingers and five toes that is an irresponsible amount of appendages

anyway its her

i was gonna draw a version of her with clothes on as well but somehow mr sam fennah managed to make a character that is an absolute bitch to draw so obviously i did the most courageous thing an artist can do and gave the hell up

im expecting her at my door shortly to strangle me and use my guts as a new scarf and if she does not arrive i wont be mad but i will be very disappointed

(watch satellite city and buy amygdala on february 15th if you havent ok do it do it now)

[gutsfics]

guyyyyyyy in the ilw discord posting ai gennnnnnnnnnnnnnn im going to fiiiiiiiiind you. with my big ole hammer.

[mxtxfanatic]

LOL idk whether to be proud or offended, but y’all… I promise you I am not and will not turn into a mu qing stan just because the edits seem to soften up his edges a little 😭 I would still like to see him punished for his crimes 😈😈😈

[mistressemmedi]

Lando and Nyck being at Baby P's birthday party is so funny to me for some reason

The fact that two out of the four are RBR rejects 💀

[ssaalexblake]

i know there’s the whole starfleet is compromised thing going on but every time Shaw refers to Seven by a name she’s indicated she is not comfortable with I imagine the HR report she’s filling in to be submitted once they’ve sorted this all out.