#he’s gotta make a big deal out of it has to get all pissy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

passivenovember · 1 year

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tapestry

“We could go out next Friday,” Billy says, expecting to be told no.

As if there’s any planet, any alternative timeline, any moment in Steve’s life where he would reject the chance to sunbathe in Billy’s light.

“We,” Steve tries, not really believing the mirage, “We could go–”

“You don’t have to make a big deal about it,” Billy snaps.

And if Steve were new to this. To pleasure and pain and Billy, his favorite bad idea, it might turn him off. Away.

But he’s wanted this forever. Billy, saying those words to him forever, so.

It gets Steve dreaming. Turns him into even more of a pathetic, sniveling mess of unrequited love. He leans a little into Billy’s touch, feeling the brand-like scrape of silver rings against his nipple. “Sorry,” Steve says, as breathless as he feels. Pennies, compared to the way Billy’s eyes turn balmy.

It’s a big deal. The biggest deal.

It’s Earthmoving.

“It could be fun,” Billy mutters. Like, I forgive you, like, I’ll forgive you now and tomorrow and forever, for loving me in ways I could never love you. Billy nods once. Sharp and direct. “We could go to the diner. And. To the movies, or something. If you’re not too good for that.”

There’s buried meaning in his words.

A rip-tide churning beneath the soft, open wonder on Billy’s face, clues Steve into what always tugs like phantom fingers in his hair.

It’s a time bomb. A setup.

If you’re not too good for me.

Steve’s got thirty seconds to make Billy feel wanted. To prove this wasn’t a mistake, baring his heart and asking Steve to go out in public with him, and every seed of reassurance that’s planted between Steve’s yes and what did you have in mind will struggle through the lashing winds of Billy’s self-doubt.

Steve gotta play his cards right. So careful and calculated that when landmines pulse deep underground, rumbling through the spaces in their understanding, Billy won’t explode.

“Or something,” Steve tries, the words crumbling like garden mulch on his tongue.

It’s clunky and awkward and so unlike Billy that it almost startles a laugh out of him. Would, if Billy could do anything but react. He’d take it as a rejection. A slap to the face.

It would snatch the love of Steve’s life from his hands.

“Would ya look at that, princess has got a brain in him after all,” Billy says. Pissy and irritable and it’s a great cover. He rolls his eyes, and says, “You wanna go out with me or not, Harrington?”

And it’s not the best invitation to a date Steve’s ever heard, but it doesn’t matter.

Steve sees through it.

Billy’s mirth pales in comparison to the hand suddenly stripping Steve’s dick, feverish, as Billy wonders, “You’ll go with me?” so soft and sweet that Steve almost shakes apart. He twists his fingers around Steve’s cockhead, catching precum and expertly smoothing the path, “Say you’ll go with me, baby, please.”

It’s perfect.

It’s too good to be true and with one calloused, wonderful pinch of his fingers on Steve’s nipple, and the sting of Billy’s teeth on his throat–

“‘Kay,” Steve says. He comes undone.

Doesn’t even notice the lackluster response he gave to his darkest, most twisted fantasy coming true. It’s an answer fitting the proposal, especially when Billy rubs Steve’s own come into his hair and laughs the whole way home.

–

For someone who bares his teeth and digs his nails into all the fleshiest parts of Steve for something as simple as trying to love Billy as he deserves–

Billy’s fucked half the guys in town.

Robin acts like that doesn’t mean anything. It’s not fair to judge what Billy was doing before he met Steve, and somehow, that makes it worse.

Before Billy met you.

Like Steve is the key that opens a world of possibilities.

And, anyway, Steve’s fucked half the girls in town. More than half, probably. “How would you feel if he held that against you,” Robin asks, a broken record that screeches reality whenever Steve gets too drunk and has snot running down his chin because that’s easier than admitting how he feels.

The truth is that Billy does hold it against him.

Disdain drips from his tongue like venom whenever a girl bats her eyelashes in Steve’s direction. Billy sneers and spits fire and makes it achingly evident that, regardless of what Steve says, this isn’t a sure thing.

Billy is praying they won’t last. When you go back to chicks. When you decide you’re done with me. When my cock doesn’t do it anymore so you buy Nancy Wheeler a strap-on to celebrate the anniversary of your breakup–

Steve doesn’t say that there is no when. No future where this isn’t everything he wants. Sloppy handjobs and poorly rolled joints and Billy, rubbing come into Steve’s hair while he calls him beautiful. So pretty it hurts.

–

One of the guys Billy fucked before he met Steve is always trying to start shit.

He’s obsessed. The one shadow that won’t cower and dissolve, and as much Steve’s consumed with thoughts of tearing this asshole’s flesh off the bone if it means he’ll drop it, he can’t really blame the guy.

Billy’s Billy. He’s the stuff of dreams.

Still, the guy’s got a mouth on him. Full of malevolence and fury, and the only person in the world who knows better than Steve the damage that mouth can inflict is Carol Perkins.

Steve tells her about it.

Drunk at a party with fruit punch stains on his polo, it slurs out of Steve’s mouth like the lazy drone of cough syrup.

“You know your boyfriend’s sucking dick in the locker room,” Steve tells her. The truth.

And he can hear Billy laughing through the walls. His golden voice rising and falling with the crowd that hangs on his every word. Steve sways a little on his feet and thinks, knows, that Tommy can’t be too far off. Leering, closing in like a slinking wolf.

The image makes him sick. Lights a fire. Righteous fury edging him toward destruction.

“What do you mean,” Carol says.

Not asks. Says. Like it’s old news. Like she was waiting for someone to figure it out and she’s hoping that someone is Steve. She’s looking at him with this weird, hazy glint in her eyes, and.

There’s a word, rolling tootsie on his tongue.

A bad word.

Not one he’s ever said before because when someone else does he gets these flashes of hospital rooms and men who waste away to bones in front of the people who love them most in the world. He thinks of how his mom still talks about Uncle Johnny with tears sparkling in her eyes.

“Your boyfriend’s a cocksucker,” Steve sips on his beer and feels bad about it. Mean, because. He can beg for forgiveness, later. In this moment, he’s powerful. He’s fighting for love. He’s bringing the dead back to life.

When Carol blinks her stupid, big, empty eyes at him, Steve knows he’s gotta roll out the big guns. He opens his mouth to say it, a single syllable pointing to the edge of a cliff he hopes she’ll tumble off of and arrive at the feet of his point–

She’s gotta stop this. Hagan’s obsession with Billy. She’s the only one in the world who can help him.

But Carol frowns and says, “You’re one to talk,” and it startles a laugh out of him.

Carol doesn’t like that.

She smacks her gum, “Is this about Billy?”

“Is what about Billy?”

“Don’t play that stupid fucker shit with me, Harrington,” Carol snaps. She’s full of burning hot coals. Avenging attitude. Steve loved her, once upon a time, “You’re mad because Tommy played with your toy last summer when we were on a break.”

And.

Because Steve loved her, once upon a time, he doesn’t mention that Tommy stole Billy’s underwear from his locker last week. Doesn’t admit that he’s holding his breath always, waiting for the moment Hagan’s lingering stares to lurch everyone back in time.

To before Steve.

Steve bites his tongue and mutters, “You know about that?” Because despite what Carol’s eyes may tell him, Steve’s better than he was, once.

Before Billy.

“Of course, I know about that,” Carol says, voice trembling, “Tommy wouldn’t lie to me. We love each other, we tell each other everything–”

“I know. Me and Billy–”

“You’re going to tell everyone about Tommy unless I do whatever you say, right?” She snaps. There’s a fear Steve’s never seen before, taking root in her eyes. For herself. For Tommy and Billy and underneath all that, Steve. “I know how this works, Harrington. I wrote the book on blackmail–”

“Carol, look, I. If I tell everyone, it’s only a matter of time before the witch hunt swings back around to me. And to Billy, and. He’s a pain in the ass, most of the time. I’d still rather die than see anything happen to him.”

Piece by piece, Carol deflates until she’s normal. Friend sized. “I get that,” Carol says, “I mean. Tommy Hagan is my boyfriend.”

Steve turns to dump his vodka down the drain, scrubbing all the vitriol from his face to show that he’s not that kind of person, anymore. “If Billy’s the ass cheek, Tommy’s the hole.”

Carol, shedding the chip on her shoulder, giggles. And Steve. He missed that sound.

So he says, “I missed you,”

And Carol admits, “I missed you too, dumbass.”

And Steve smirks. “If Billy and I have an ounce of luck, our love will be just like yours.”

Lies through his teeth.

–

Uncle Johnny used to say things about the girls he knew in Chicago.

Over a glass of wine, sprawled on the chaise lounge in Mrs. Harrington’s room, he’d exclaim that straight women were the same everywhere, cut from the same mold as the cheerleaders at Hawkins High who would hang on Uncle Johnny’s arm and call him their “best friend,” but turn on him if given the chance.

As a child, Steve took everything that came out of Uncle Johnny’s mouth as gospel, even the things that didn’t add up.

Steve thought, peeking through the slats in the door as his mother told him to go play, that it was impossible to have more than one best friend. And besides, boys and girls can’t be best friends, because girls don’t like basketball and digging for worms in the soft springtime mud, and if every girl who met Uncle Johnny thought he was their best friend, maybe he was the common denominator.

The problem.

Uncle Johnny had made the extrovert’s mistake of over-availability, like the time Steve had promised two school friends he’d sleep over on the same Friday night.

The only difference between Steve and Uncle Johnny was that Steve only made that mistake once and learned his lesson.

Truth be told, that wasn’t a fair judgment.

The older Steve got, the more he realized that some girls are predisposed to deceit. Their tongues cut sharp as knives, fingers gouging the wounds left behind so the bleeding never stops, and all the same, they try to make room for themselves inside of Steve’s body. Coiled like varicose veins.

Steve doesn’t have chick friends until Carol.

And he doesn’t have good chick friends until Robin, and Buckley changes everything. Steve’s worldview, how he sees himself, how he treats other people, and like most things, it gets him thinking about Uncle Johnny.

How the best friend for a gay man is probably a lesbian, and Robin’s a good thing. The best to ever happen outside of Dustin and Billy, so.

He blames Robin for Friday morning.

In classic carol fashion, they make it sex days before the other shoe drops. She’s gotta marinate, make everyone suffer, and right when the dust has settled, the Earth turns dry again.

The snap of Tommy’s fist against the back of his skull before second period feels cosmic.

The ricochet gets Steve biting down on his tongue, and he swallows his own blood and blames Robin for luring his guard down in a weird, Twilight Zone sort of way.

If it hadn’t been for her and the rose-colored glasses she handed over along with her friendship, Steve would never have stood in front of Carol Perkins and flapped his pathetic, sentimental mouth.

He knows better.

The punch cracks through every layer of Steve’s better judgment. Hurts more than any he’s ever had because he’d thought Carol would hold her water. Tit for tat, you know. Eye for an eye is probably more accurate.

“What the fuck,” Robin shouts, and her chemistry books clatter to the floor, “Tommy, what gives?”

Tommy grabs the back of Steve’s collar and spins him around like he weighs nothing.

White metal slams against his forehead, and somewhere behind them a crowd is forming as Robin screams for help.

“Teaching the queer a lesson,” Tommy says. Sneering and laughing.

“Steve can’t fight,” Robin insists. “You know that.”

And Steve, for all the parts of him that grew soft under the constant, annoying buzz of love from those around him, still opens his mouth to drop the bomb. To defend himself. But the second his lips part, tongue poised to kill just like Billy taught him, Tommy gets his hands on Steve’s collar.

Done deal.

Dead meat.

Tommy roughs him up, and gets in Steve’s face so the entire world and all the pale white light from the fluorescents fizzle out.

He’s like an angry bull. There are tears clinging to his lashes when he spits, “Going on a date tonight, lover boy?”

Billy’s English Comp seminar is on the other side of the school. It’s minutes from the waring bell, he won’t hear about this for another hour, much less make an appearance, and–

Something’s trickling like rainwater into one of Steve’s eyes. He’s going blind. He can’t see the world beyond this moment, but he peers around Tommy’s ugly, sneering face, anyway.

Tommy shoves him against the locker, “Your white knight isn’t gonna save you, Harrington,”

Steve can smell the chicken tetrazzini they had for lunch. He’s disgusting. Every time breath puffs hot and putrid from his gaping mouth Steve can almost make out the shape of something stuck between Tommy’s two front teeth.

He’s got dirt under his fingernails.

His hair is never brushed or styled. He wears the same underwear two days in a row, and Steve can’t help but grin.

“What’s so fucking funny,” Tommy sneers.

Which get’s Steve laughing, almost giggling, because, “You’re so pathetic, Hagan,” Steve’s head wavers a little, some of that old venom coursing through his veins, “You were pathetic when you were getting your dick wet and you’re pathetic now.”

Tommy shoves him harder against the metal, hinges digging painfully into Steve’s back. “You wanna die today?”

“Sure,” Steve grins, “Doesn’t matter what you do to me. It’s hilarious that you think even if was dead and gone he’d ever pick you–”

Tommy shoves him out and away, and the first blow feels like taking a sandbag to the chest.

For all the time that they were friends and all the bad blood that washed the memory away, Steve’s never actually felt how meaty Hagan is all over. From his neck, down to his arms, where his wrists dilate like pool floaties.

His blows land like anvils from the sky.

Steve’s getting crushed. He doesn’t see the point in fighting back, but somewhere through the springing crowd of onlookers, Robin begs him to kick Tommy’s ass.

It’s hilarious.

Steve’s laughing so hard he’s got tears streaming down his face, doubling over with every word, every blow until Mr. Derkosh pulls them apart.

–

It stops being funny when Principal Murphy keeps him in the office all through second and third period.

Steve wants to go home.

His head throbs. He’s worried about getting blood all over the hideous wood-paneled furniture the secretaries probably think makes the place more comfortable, but all of that is swallowed by the lapping waves of anxiety he feels.

Steve bounces his leg and thinks about getting to Billy.

To explain what happened, why he’ll probably have to eat his lunch in this drab and boring office.

Tommy seethes somewhere in the back room, each world hurling against the wall like dead pigeons. Steve can just make out that Hagan’s facing suspension for starting the fight, and that seems only fair.

Steve never threw a single punch.

Steve’s probably got a broken nose and as much as he yearns for his bed and a bowl of ice cream and a Nightmare on Elm Street marathon, if he gets sent home his parents will flip.

From somewhere across the Atlantic his father will phone in and tell Steve’s mother that she’ll have to take care of it. Steve will march through the streets of Hawkins like Marie Antionette to the slaughter.

He’ll be suspended and grounded and forbidden to every leave the house because his parents always choose the worst possible moment to give a shit about him, and Billy will never know why Steve missed their date.

Just then, the backroom door swings open and the knob takes a chunk out of the drywall.

“Watch it, Mr. Hagan,” Principal Murphy says.��

Steve remembers that Tommy once said she wasn’t intimidating because she’s a woman.

Steve had laughed.

He feels guilty about that, now, as if Tommy’s blows had dug up all the old rot inside him Steve worked so hard to polish away.

Tommy shoots daggers at Steve the whole way around the secretary cubicle as if everything, lost love and both world wars and the inevitable demise of humanity were somehow Steve’s fault.

“You’re dead, Harrington,” Hagan says, just as Principal Murphy shouts at him to get his bag and head home.

Steve wants to say it doesn’t matter. Get in line.

But Principal Murphy turns cold, lifeless eyes onto Steve, as if she’s already forgotten who was the perpetrator and who got knocked around like a pool-que. “Mr. Harrington,” She says, gesturing to the back room, “Let’s have a quick word, alright?”

It should terrify him. It doesn’t.

Steve’s already dead.

He’s going to miss his date tonight and Billy will never speak to him again.

–

Steve walks away with after school detention.

He spends the rest of the afternoon in Ms. Murphy’s office, sealing envelopes and staring at the wall. He’d be lying if he said he wouldn’t have preferred suspension.

At least then he could’ve run down the hallway and slammed into Billy’s classroom and declared he’s drowning in a mote of love that will never, ever run dry.

When the final bell rings and the school cleans out, Steve resists the urge to press his nose against the glass. He imagines Billy, hair loose and wild, running home to get ready for their date. Steve pictures flushed cheeks and small, secret smiles when Max wonders what’s got him so excited, and.

Steve takes his time, waiting for the secretaries to forge his letter home.

Mom’ll be furious. Steve tucks it into his back pocket, waving goodbye to the ladies who are just trying to do their jobs.

Hawkins High is a ghost town.

Everyone’s shoved off for the weekend. He takes the turn into the parking lot, head throbbing when the sunlight pierces through him.

The entire world may land on a pillow made of hope when Billy pushes himself of the side of the Beamer.

Steve gapes.

“Look like someone kicked the shit out of you, Harrington.” Billy’s eyes could back the sun into a corner, “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I,” Steve mutters, temple throbbing slowly. “I got detention.”

“Robin told me. Hagan kicked your ass, pretty boy.”

“I don’t care,” Steve says. He closes the short distance between them, fingers rising to tangle in the lapel of Billy’s denim jacket. Detention is almost worth getting to touch Billy, like this. Tied together in a sea of cracked pavement and springtime glow. “I don’t care about him. All I could think about was you.”

“What for?”

“I didn’t want you to think I stood you up,” Steve tries desperately, “I’ve wanted this so long. I’ve had dreams about it and I didn’t want to fuck it up and lose you before I had the chance to say–”

Billy leans into Steve’s touch, eyelashes low and sleepy, and. “Can’t lose me,” He says, “No matter what.”

Billy’s nose flares bright red and Steve wants to kiss it.

So he does. Steve kisses him all over, feeling the clandestine tickle of Billy’s eyelashes on his face when they press in close and Steve feels like the pieces of himself have been glued back together.

He’s whole and drying.

Billy pulls away. Tucks the hair behind Steve’s ears. “We should probably postpone our date.”

Steve doesn’t want that. He opens his mouth to say so, but instead he asks, “Will you come take care of me?”

And there was a time, not so long ago, when Steve never imagined saying those words to anyone. He’s the foundation, in everything. The fortress.

But Billy nods and knocks him gently on the chin, and Steve knows they’ve got time.

All the time in the world.

For the INCREDIBLE @ihni . Thank you for your patience and I hope it was enjoyable. You’re one of my favorite creators on any app ever, it was an honor to write something for you.

All my love,

Jaz

#harringrove #harringrove for turkey

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hyperfizationss · 1 year

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Can you please write about Miguel getting sick and the reader taking care of him? If possible can the reader be a girl? Thank you!

I really like this request,and thanks for being my first requester

𝓢𝓲𝓬𝓴 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓽𝓲𝓻𝓮𝓭 𝓸𝓯 𝔂𝓸𝓾 <3

Miguel x fem reader

“Miguel has called in sick for that last couple of days,he usually doesn’t miss being here unless it’s like a flu or something” Jess said “it’s not like him,I’m sorta worried” she said as she kept pacing around the room “I’ll go check on him if you want,ya know see if he needs anything,check that he’s not dead” I said as I put my hand on her shoulder.she let out a small laugh and told me that would be for the best.

I quickly swung over to Miguel’s house trying to find an open window.I crawled in to the living room and took off my mask. “geez what a clean freak” I said admiring the clean state his house was in. I made my way up the stairs,he’s only one guy why does he need such a big house?

I walk over to what I assume to be his room and to no surprise I see him huddled up in a blanket on his bed,I quickly pull out my phone and snap a quick picture because I could help but find the sight cute.my phone makes a weird click noise when I take the picture and his eyes immediately dart towards the door.

“Please don’t kill me!I only came here to see if you were ok!” I said backing up from the door frame.

“Ugh I’m to tired to deal with you right now” Miguel said before Turing back onto his bed and laying down facing his wall.

“Well your still a pissy brat so,I’m assuming your fine” I said Turing to the door again “I’ll be on my way ou-“ i suddenly felt my body jult towards his bed,the poor guy used his webs to pull me over towards him

“Please don’t leave yet.I feel like shit today,can you maybe just stay” he said as he tugged at the bottom of my shirt,covering his face with his other arm

“Oh so the big bad wolf wants me to stay with him while he’s sick in bed” I say crouching down a bit to get lower to his face

“I could tell you to fuck off instead” he said glaring at me again

“Ok,ok I’ll lay off the teasing.so what exactly did you come down with,or are you on your period” I asked

“I thought you said you were done teasing.” He looked at me annoyed while he sat up against his bed frame

“Force of habit,anyways what is this a cold or something more serious” I say as I pull a swivel chair away from a desk in his room

“I’m not sure what it is,I’m to tired to go to the doctors” he said rolling his eyes

“Well you should still set up an appointment,can’t have the defender of the multiverse die from the flu” I say as I lightly punch his shoulder

“I don’t like doctors,too many questions,and their offices are always so cold”

“I know a certain someone who could also use a heater in his office” I said cocking an eyebrow up

“…fair point” he said Turing his face away,I can’t tell if he was blushing from embarrassment or from his little sickness

“You like need anything,another blanket,some tissues?” I asked

“No,just sit here and talk with me”

I’ll never understand this man,he hates when people bother him at the spider society,but yet he wants me of all people,probably the biggest pain in his ass to stay and talk with him.I don’t understand it,but I’m definitely not against it.

Gotta admit not seeing him in his suit is quite interesting,he was wearing grey sweatpants and a white T-shirt along with the blanket he hand hung over his shoulders.

I moved the swivel chair closer to his bed as I stood up and placed my hand on his forehead

“Wha-this isn’t necessary!” Miguel said taking my hand down and holding it with both of his.

“No I really think it is,your burning up,you probably have a fever.” He still haven’t let go of my hand yet still holding it with both of his,I put my other hand on top of his and just stare down at my feet on the hard wood floors.

“Look i think you have a cold,nothing to serious,I’ll run to the store and get you cold medicine and you’ll feel better in no time,how’s that sound big guy?” I said looking up at him not yet moving my hands from his

“That’s sounds good” he said letting go of my hands,I begin to walk out of the room when I hear Miguel start to talk again “also don’t call me big guy,that’s weird”he said pulling his blanket over his shoulders again

“Ok then big fella!” I quickly shut the door to his room because I could already feel his eyes glaring at me

I jump back through the window downstairs and start my swing to the store

“He’s mean but,I think he has a soft side” I say to myself stopping at a building much taller than some others

I began to rethink the previous interaction I just had with him,maybe he is more than just a brooding brat,he’s quite sweet actually

(The endings a bit rushed,I just got home from an activity and I’m sweating bullets and I’m tired as fuck so sorry if it’s a bit sloppy)

#miguel o'hara #miguel across the spiderverse #miguel spiderman #miguel x reader #spider man: across the spider verse #atsv miguel #x reader #fanfic #atsv fic #atsv x you

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firecrackerhh · 8 months

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I HAVE THOUGHTS!!!

Ok not really a lot of this is just gonna be quotes I like. With a few sprinklings of original thought mixed in.

S1E1: “Come place your fate in her inexperienced hands as she tries to work through her daddy issues by fixing you!”

Damn Al so fucking savage.

“I like being forced!” “Keep that to yourself Niff.”

“I need a big strong daddy to put me in my place…on the path to redemption!”

“I ain’t no actor, I can’t memorize this shit!”

Uuuuuuh…is Niffty ok?

The angels obviously don’t like that one of their own has been killed…but like…wouldn’t they just…go back to heaven? I was under the impression you couldn’t kill an Angel unless I’m missing something. Tho I guess it’s only fair, if demons can be killed permanently, so can angels.

S1E2: Lmao I would watch a show called “I fucked your sister, so what?”

Ooooh Vox can teleport through electronics.

“Wrist ruffles, what is this, 1750? Burn it like the witches who wore it!”

“Take care of the pissbaby!”

OMG Val is such a pissbaby LMAO!! I see Vox wears the pants in the relationship.

“Killing Alastor is your kink.”

“He wanted me to join his team, I said no and now he’s pissy, that’s the tea!” Yooooo!!

“Not many people have been able to take off this much of me! It must mean a lot to you!” Fucking burns it Lmao.

“Now if you excuse me, I’m off to not have intercourse before marriage!”

Poor Angel.

“If they don’t kill you, go ahead and do it yourself, you miserable failure!” Lmao me internally when people make me angry.

Ok the song was cute ngl.

S1E3: “Oh hello purple female!”

Alastor: ‘says literally anything’ I love him.

Vaggie acting like a lil drill sergeant.

“I like sucking—popsicles you sicko! Get your mind out of the gutter!”

“Sometimes I kill mother bugs in front of their children as a warning to others!” Oh Niffty you sick bitch, no wonder Al keeps you around Lmao.

“YAY PAIN!!!”

I was not expecting her to keep doing it, so Niffty is a masochist, got it.

Zestial kinda hot ngl.

Loved the song! I love Velvette.

Mother!? Wait is Carmilla hellborn?? She has KIDS!?!

“Nothing requires more trust than BDSM baby!” I mean…he’s right.

Vaggie just taking them to a fucking turf war or some shit LMAOOO. I mean, there’s also no trust like between those fighting for a common cause so…it works.

So Carmilla killed that angel…can’t say I blame her.

S1E4 Husk calling out everyone Lmao. “And Niffty? You don’t wanna know what her deal is.”

“What the fuck makes you think you can treat him like that!?”

Oooooh I wanna see Charlie kick Val’s ass so baaaaaad!!! Angel can join in too of course.

So Husk was an overlord before Alastor came along…interesting.

Songs a mood.

Charlie must be protected at all costs, thank Satan she has Vaggie.

Also apparently Charlie hasn’t seen her mom in 7 years? And I think they said Alastor was gone for 7 years?

Ok there’s gotta be a third 7 coming up, it’s gotta mean something right?

Guess I gotta stay tuned.

#hazbin hotel

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trashyslashers · 3 years

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may i request. danny, frank and jiwoon trying a period pain simulator bc their s/o made them. this is a thinly veiled plea for Help from where i lie on the ground im sorry if it's too goofy jkgjh

Not goofy at ALL anon, sometimes ya gotta make your favorite characters suffer alongside you to cope :')

I tried to keep this gender neutral since I know not everyone who gets their period identifies as/is female! Hope that's alright anon.

thanks for the request, and sorry for the wait!

▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔

【 Danny Johnson, Frank Morrison, and Ji-Woon Hak suffering from trying out a period pain simulator 】

Danny "Jed Olsen" Johnson | The Ghost Face:

Danny tries to act like he's unbothered - keyword being tries. He generally has a pretty high pain tolerance, and so he tries to act like the cramping is No Big Deal, but truthfully? It's a foreign type of pain, and the guy is dying inside. You live through this shit every month? Christ, no wonder you seem so miserable then.

Once he breaks, though, and doesn't have the will to keep up the I'm completely fine, babe ;) charade of his, he's a bit of a whiner. Just remind him that you don't get to tap out during your time of the month, so neither does he.

Definitely has a new found respect for you after that. Not that he didn't have any for you before (Danny, despite being.... Danny..... is actually at least a semi decent partner), but now that he's learned his lesson and that you most definitely are not exaggerating how uncomfortable you are when your period rolls around, he finds himself being a bit more gentle with you around that time of the month.

Frank Morrison | The Legion:

If you thought Frank seemed perpetually pissy before, this is even worse. He's had partners in the past who've lamented how painful periods were, sure - but none of them have ever twisted his arm (metaphorically) into trying out a simulator so he could experience it for once - ! For the day you make him wear it, you swear the room grows heavier every time he enters it, his irritation nearly palpable.

He knew you weren't kidding about how painful they were before you convinced him to try one - but fuck, the thought of having to deal with it for a week out of every month? No thanks. The second you decide his torment is over, he's yanking the wires and electrode pads off of his abdomen and tossing them to the side, a weight visibly off his shoulders.

Definitely more patient with you if you get a bit snappy during that time of the month. He used to tease you a bit about how irritable you seemed, but god does he now know it's warranted.

Ji-Woon Hak | The Trickster:

Ji-Woon and sadism go hand in hand - but what may come as a surprise is that he has little to no pain tolerance, and he absolutely is not afraid to show how miserable he is. He's the one who's supposed to be inflicting pain on others, - not the other way around! It irritates him that he's agreed to endure it.

He's pretty pouty about the whole thing, and he's uncharacteristically quiet; wanting to spend as much time as he can sitting in silence and trying to ease it as much as he can. Ji-Woon is a complete sadist - so he really does not enjoy being the one in pain.

Ji-Woon actually feels a bit sympathetic for you, after that; hell, he's not stupid, and so he's well aware that there must've been a plethora of times you, and other's he's encountered, especially in the idol world, must've had to swallow the pain and go on like nothing was wrong - but hey, he's secretly proud of you for taking the upper hand and making him suffer for once ;)

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archived-kin · 4 years

Text

you go to a devildom zoo and a penguin attempts to seduce you (the brothers are not happy)

note from kin: this was meant to be out way sooner but covid-19 and a whole lot of catch-up coursework said no to that idea >:(

anyway formatting on mobile is actual ass so let me know if this ends up unreadable!

enjoy, darlings!

fandom: obey me!

character(s): gn!reader, lucifer, mammon, leviathan, satan, asmodeus, beelzebub, belphegor, diavolo (mentioned briefly)

pairing(s): demon brothers/reader, penguin/reader (one-sided), a bat also very briefly tries to seduce you

warning(s): reader really loves deadly creatures which i know isn't really a warning but just as a heads up for those who can't relate i guess??? also this is ended up WAY longer than i intended lmao

genre: fluff (but also crack)

oh the pure joy you felt when you found out that there are zoos in the devildom

zoos full of sphinxes, chimeras, hydras, krakens, manticores, basilisks and griffins, but zoos nonetheless

in fact, you’d argue that the fact that the zoos here are full of potentially lethal legendary beasts is even COOLER

so, naturally, you begged lucifer to let you go to one

his response?

“absolutely not, you could be killed.”

well now that’s just unfair

there are so many things down here in the devildom that could kill you! the heat, the food, the dragons just wandering around in the skies, your fellow students at rad, belphie, not sleeping enough, the stupidly narrow staircases, lucifer himself! in fact, you’d argue that lucifer has already come close to killing you more times than any of those creatures at the zoo

unfortunately that was entirely was the wrong thing to say because now lucifer’s gone all broody on you

you just KNOW he’s gonna spend all of next week either drowning himself in work or sulking in the music room if you don’t cheer him up quickly

so you guess it’s time to pull out the puppy eyes and hope that they work

spoiler alert: they do. you also end up being stuck in lucifer’s arms for about five hours afterwards as he cuddles out all of his negative thoughts, but that’s not a bad thing, so you’re not complaining

the next day, however, you are BACK on your bullshit

and you are back with a vengeance!

you are getting a trip to that zoo whether lucifer likes it or not and you will not rest until you succeed

your first idea is to go to diavolo for help because.... he’s diavolo and lucifer would listen to that demon before anyone, including himself

unfortunately that doesn’t work because diavolo is out on a business trip to the human world with barbatos

(which means your butler buddy, who could probably have helped you make your case, is also out of the picture)

you suppose that you could try getting simeon in on the scheme but you’re pretty sure he’d end up making it worse with his insatiable penchant for teasing lucifer

your final solution?

cry

and it worked a treat too!

lucifer is just a sucker for his human and he doesn’t like seeing them sad okay :((

he finally agrees to let you go to the big zoo just north of RAD since it’s directly under diavolo’s jurisdiction, but he also makes you promise that you’ll take at least one brother with you

(he’s hoping you’ll choose him)

but then you uno reverse card him!

jokes on you, lucifer, your human wants a family day out!!

lucifer would be lying if his heart didn’t swell slightly when you proclaimed you wanted all the brothers to come with you so that you could all spend the day together having fun

although you may have just made a mistake because now lucifer is going to do everything in his power to make sure the day goes perfectly, and if that means smiting the rude demon in line in front of you, then what about it?

(luckily you stop him from the killing someone before you’re even inside, but it was a close call)

the moment the eight of you step into the zoo satan whisks you off to look at the devildom equivalent of big cats

which means the sphinxes and manticores first, then the giant fire-breathing tigers

he’s planning to have a nice heart-to-heart conversation with you while the two of you stroll along the exhibit, but then you both get distracted by how cool the animals are

so the two of you just end up dragging each other back and forth to look at one creature after another

not the romantic scene satan initially had in mind, but he’d be lying if he said this wasn’t also absolutely perfect

holding your hand while you talk enthusiastically about how majestically that manticore leapt thirty feet into the air with your entire face lighting up like the most beautiful lantern in the world? stunning. outstanding. he wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

meanwhile, back at the entrance, levi is sulking, mammon is fuming, beel is already stuffing himself with overpriced food stall delicacies, belphie has crawled under a bench to nap while he waits for you to come back, asmo is taking pictures with the extra long-legged flamingo billboard, and lucifer is so preoccupied with trying to figure out just how the hell the walking system here works that he hasn’t even noticed that you and satan have just disappeared into the void

in the end the remaining brothers split off into pairs, all agreeing that whoever is the first to find you and satan will get to have some one-on-one time with you next

and, drumroll please, that lucky pair turns out to be... beel and belphie!

(really they have an unfair advantage though since beel can smell out anyone he knows from a mile away)

meanwhile satan has just spent just about all of the grimm he brought with him on a hideously overpriced plush version of the manticore you were so fascinated with

but the smile on your face when he gives it to you?? the LIGHT that exudes from you when you declare that the plush’s name is now greenie because it has green eyes just like his?? worth it. absolutely worth it.

but uh oh, the moment is soon to be gone, because guess who’s here?

beel and belphie can’t let satan have all your attention! beel is a little more forgiving, but belphie is going to make sure he’s the first to get a kiss today, anti-lucifer club alliance be damned!

he’s not going to admit that of course. instead, he’s going to very subtly hip-bump satan out of the way so that he can hold your hand instead (beel can have the other hand, but if he tries to pull you away, he’s getting what-for.)

normally satan would be pretty miffed by this, but hey, he’s in a good mood right now and he doesn’t want to spoil the day by getting pissy, so he lets the twins get away with it. younger sibling privilege, am I right?

belphie wants to take you to his particular favourite exhibit here, the giant carnivorous cattle with horns the size of chair legs

beel, on the other hand, suggests that maybe you don’t want to see a gargantuan mammal tear apart a giant piece of meat that may or may not have been sourced from a human graveyard (the giant carnivorous cattle are picky, okay? at least they’re not murdering people for the meat)

you, however, are absolutely fearless

besides, what harm can a giant carnivorous cattle with horns the side of chair legs do to you when it’s being kept behind six inches of hellfire trench, with three of the devildom’s most powerful demons close by to swoop in to your rescue?

beel begrudgingly agrees to go see the giant carnivorous cattle, but makes you promise to stay slightly behind him so that he can jump to defend you should they get out of hand

your big strong demon standing in front of you, protecting you as you get to look at a super cool and also deadly creature? you are absolutely on board with this.

(satan is slightly concerned by your willingness to go near creatures that could tear you to pieces in a second, but if he gets to see you smile like that again then... well, what can he say, he’s a simp)

so off you go!

the giant carnivorous cattle are AWESOME. you get to watch a trio of them eat what appears to be an entire car in, like, two seconds, tops, and they don’t even look bothered by the metal disappearing down their massive gullets.

(you ask belphie in an undertone why the cattle are eating cars if they’re carnivorous. his response is that even giant carnivorous cattle need their minerals, so the zookeepers feed them a bunch of the metal stuff you get in human scrapyards.)

(sounds like an RSPCA violation to you...)

you’re practically tumbling over the fence as you lean forward to get a proper look at them and their adorable tiny wings, so belphie ends up having to pull you back

just as he does it, however, he has a very bright idea

so instead of gently tugging you back as he’d originally planned, he practically yanks you into him, conveniently slipping your hand out of beel’s in the process

listen, it’s not that belphie resents letting beel hold hands with you at the same time as him. a demon’s just gotta get his hugs sometimes, alright?

of course you’re a little miffed about being so violently yoinked, so you’re about to turn around and give belphie a piece of your mind, but then he pulls you close to him and nuzzles his nose into your hair

how are you supposed to scold him for that???

he seems so content and he’s even doing that adorable little purring thing demons do when they’re happy that he never does in public

you can’t just pull out of his arms! it’s probably illegal!!!!!

belphie gets a pass for being cute this time. only this time. no more.

(as an aside, this sort of thing happens at least once a day because belphie’s a whiny little baby who can’t go twelve hours without your love)

anyway now beel looks a little downtrodden which you are not having

your solution? wait until belphie lets go of you on his own and then you can give beel a hug of his own.

unfortunately belphie doesn’t seem interested in separating from you

luckily you don’t end up having to deal with that, because then satan steps in

partially because he feels bad for beel and also partially because okay that’s enough touching now, know your boundaries

which means it’s BEEL’S TURN TO SHINE

does this demon want you to die? because that is what’s going to happen if he keeps being so friggin sweet

first of all he buys you a bunch of treats from the nearby food stalls with his own money and offers every single one to you

is he on drugs? is that what’s happening here? what happened to the avatar of gluttony who ate first and asked questions later???

of course you aren’t going to be so cruel as to take every single one of the treats he’s offering when you can physically hear his stomach rumble as he holds them out to you

instead, you take a handful or so and tell him to eat the rest himself because he deserves it

beel almost tears up he’s so happy he loves you so much in that moment

some may say he’s being dramatic but beel says that every moment with you is a treasure and he has every right to be emotional

belphie is a teensy bit pissed that satan simp-policed him when he’s just as whipped but it’s beel so... he’ll stay down

satan, meanwhile, starts snapping pictures of you at every opportunity, most of them candids, to save to the album he has dedicated especially to you, and also to send to the brothers’ group chat to brag

asmo responds to each one with even more heart emojis than the last, levi always has some kind of jealous comment to make, lucifer stays silent (satan knows he’s saving the photos to his own gallery to gaze affectionately at later though), and mammon just keeps sending angry stickers and then quickly adding that they’re not aimed at you but at satan for having the audacity

anyway, the four of you end up leaving the giant carnivorous cow exhibit after spending a few minutes just sitting together on one of the giant benches while you and beel (mostly beel) eat the giant pile of food he purchased

(beel’s not evil so he offers satan and belphie some obviously, but he makes it clear that you’re getting first pick)

beel’s about to ask where you want to head next when

here comes trouble

and make it double

asmo and levi are IN the building (zoo)

levi, having gotten so antsy waiting for you to show up, disregards all subtlety and basically throws himself right at you, scoops you up, and takes off

leaving behind your poor manticore plush, a stunned satan, beel, belphie, and asmo, who immediately starts running after the two of you, shouting ‘hey, that isn’t fair!’

satan, belphie and beel are left to exchange disbelieving looks and attempt to follow

(don't worry about greenie, satan picks him up and vows to keep him safe until he meets up with you again)

meanwhile you are being quite literally swept off your feet

“levi. levi stop i can walk. levi i’m coming to aquarium with you. you don’t need to pull me. levi i’m getting a little dizzy over here. levi please”

luckily you are saved from your impending doom (because, realistically, there is no way mr hasn’t-exercised-in-several-millennia can carry someone halfway across the biggest zoo in all three realms without tripping) by asmo

now, asmo does not like exercise. it makes him all hot and sweaty (and not in the sexy way) and it’s just... not it. however, because it’s you, he will make an exception just this once.

so he grits his teeth, pins back his long-ass fringe with a cute butterfly clip, and runs for it

normally jealous-mode levi will not stop for anything, but a running asmo in the right situation is even more terrifying than a quiet angry lucifer, and a quiet angry lucifer normally means multiple people are getting burnt alive

so what does levi do? naturally, he stops in his tracks, lets out a scream of such a high frequency that he disturbs a flock of deathseye hawks nesting in a tree nearby, and almost drops you on your head

asmo immediately stops running, takes a moment to dab off any sweat on his forehead with his dainty little pink handkerchief, and lets his hair back down

because he is not exercising for a second longer than he has to

anyway, now that you’re not being torpedo’d halfway across the world, you can finally take a second to breathe and actually ask levi what he wants

he goes pink and stares shame-facedly at the ground and refuses to say a word, especially with avatar of lust ‘i like teasing my brothers to the point where it might be sexual harassment’ asmodeus Right There behind you

but you want your purple boy to be honest!! which means it is puppy dog eyes time again

finally, staring determinedly off to the side, levi mumbles, “you promised we’d go see the fish...”

oh your poor heart

you’re inclined to start pressing kisses all over his face, but you just know he will immediately blow up on the spot if you do in such a public area, so you settle on giving him a subtle hug and reassuring him that yes, you will go see the fish with him

now, asmo’s a hoe for attention, we all know that, but even he has his moments

so, making you promise to go see the birds of arcadia with him later, he departs with a wave and a very sneaky kiss planted on your cheek to let you and levi have your time together

thanks asmo

so off you and levi go!

the aquarium FUCKS

sorry that was too strong

the aquarium is GORGEOUS

it’s got this beautiful deep blue-green ambient lighting, and there are enormous tanks for the giant sharks that essentially make up the walls and ceiling

and there are SO MANY FISH!

rainbow fish, neon pink fish, fish with tiny markings that make them look like they have moustaches, fish with scales that change colour every five seconds, glow-in-the-dark fish, fish the size of a small car

literally any kind of fish you can imagine? they HAVE THEM

you’re almost too distracted to notice levi tugging aggressively on your sleeve

when you do, though, he quickly ushers you over into the tunnel exhibit, where the dolphins live

devildom dolphins look pretty similar to regular human dolphins, except they live in what’s essentially hydrochloric acid and are pitch black in colour with bright purple eyes

you’re pretty confused as to why levi wanted to drag you in here so quickly - you’d have thought he’d go for the goldfish, or the venomous water serpents, or even the special hydra exhibit they’ve got for a limited time

but then levi pulls you over to the very edge, taps his fingers lightly on the glass, and... starts clicking and chirruping?

you’re about to very concernedly ask if he’s feeling alright when something amazing happens

the giant male with scars all over it who, according to one of the signs along the tunnel, spends most of his time skulking as far away from the glass as possible and will eat any demon who comes too close, swims over to him

then, wearing the gentlest little smile, levi turns to you and tells you to say hello to captain

you almost yell out of sheer excitement, but you manage to collect yourself

instead, what comes out is an aggressively whispered:

"hello!! hi, captain!! it's lovely to meet you!! i love you!!!!"

and captain loves you too!!!!!

he swims right up to you and butts his nose against the glass

well you can't not immediately press your face against the glass as well so it looks like you're bumping noses with him can you???

so you do exactly that

all the while going "hello!! hello!! you're such a pretty boy!! what a handsome boy!!"

levi almost cries because you are just too perfect

you love captain? and captain loves you too? he seriously has to hold himself back from dropping to one knee and proposing right then and there

after taking a moment to get his heart to calm down, he translates what you're saying to captain, who immediately starts clicking back

and guess what??? captain says you're the prettiest!!!!!!!!! you’re the handsomest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now you're going to cry

you and levi spend ages in that tunnel together, just talking to captain and holding hands and exchanging little kisses now and then

levi is so in his element here in the aquarium that he isn't even as nervous and stuttery with his affection as usual

it's almost jarring, but are you complaining? absolutely not

when and levi emerge from the aquarium, both a little giddy and still enthusiastically talking about all the other creatures you said hi to after captain (who you are most definitely coming back to visit sometime), asmo is waiting outside so impatiently that he's getting a lot of irritated looks for his aggressive foot-tapping

levi wants to go see the reptiles now, but then asmo plays the 'i let you get away with having alone time, now let me have mine, bitch’ card

and to be honest levi's pretty sure that even self-proclaimed romance expert asmo can't top the mini-aquarium date you've just had with him, sooooo...

buying you a little keychain replica of captain just to get a final one over his brother, he bids you goodbye and goes off to the reptile house on his own, pulling on his headphones on his way so that he won't accidentally end up talking to some stranger again

it is now asmo's time to shine!!!

and so off the two of you head off to the birds of arcadia exhibit

however, it seems that asmo doesn’t have much interest in the birds themselves apart from for taking pictures with them for his devilgram

the birds are beautiful indeed, but guess what else is also beautiful? here is a short and concise list:

1. holding asmo’s hand

2. giving asmo kisses

3. receiving kisses from asmo

4. giving asmo hugs

5. receiving hugs from asmo

6. cuddling with asmo

7. sleeping with asmo (in the literal sense)

8. sleeping with asmo (in the not so litera—)

this has been a short and concise list of things that are very beautiful and you should absolutely do right this second (not ghost-written by asmodeus, avatar of lust, not at all)

anyway, it’s kind of hard to concentrate on that adorable neon striped pecker sitting close by to you when asmo is draping himself all over you like a damn scarf

it’s cute! it’s cute. but.... the birds...... you want to see the birds.........

in the end the two of you settle on a compromise: asmo will let you have some time to just look at the pretty birds as long as you keep holding his hand, and then the two of you will go and get matching face paint together

asmo’s kinda pouty about it at first, but he quickly changes his mind when he sees how enamoured you are by the birds

you really are too cute!! he just wants to scoop you up and cover you with kisses, but he’s already promised to leave that for when you aren’t in the middle of a busy public space

(he definitely isn’t the slightest bit jealous of them because he wants to be the only beautiful thing that you look at like that. he knows he’s prettier than those birds.)

(but, like... he’s still gonna puff up his chest a bit when he catches one edging just a bit too close to you. he may be the avatar of lust, but he does have his moments of jealousy as well… even if they’re at blooming birds.)

finally, when you’ve decided that you’ve had your fill of gorgeous birds, asmo immediately pulls you off to the face-painting booth

all the designs the demons managing it have come up with are pretty beautiful, so he’s not bothered about which one to get as long as you two are matching

which means you get to choose!!!!

at first he thinks you’ll ask for the super popular one that imitates the feather pattern of the most popular bird of arcadia, the lesser spotted spectra

but then you turn to look at him, think for a moment, turn back to the demon doing the painting, and ask if they do custom designs

asmo can only watch on, confused, as you and the demon whisper conspiratorially back and forth for five minutes

then the demon has started painting, and the cheeky little grin on your face is making him a little worried that you’ve deliberately asked for a really stupid design just to mess with him

but then, as the strokes and colours all come together, he realises something that might make him a little teary eyed. just a little bit.

the design you’ve asked for just so happens to be the gorgeous, swirling pattern of the avatar of lust’s pact mark

and it’s not just that, either. he takes a closer look and realises that the little flowers added around the edges are his favourite kind of rose as well

and THEN the demon doing the painting turns to him and tells him with a smirk that, by your suggestion, the paint he’s using has been enchanted so that it goes rainbow when you kiss the person who’s wearing it

oh, he really should have had more faith in you! this is even better than anything he could come up with!!!

(he takes about a million photos of you while he’s waiting for his own turn and sends at least a quarter of them to the group chat)

asmo is practically vibrating with excitement as he sits there getting his own face painted

and if you think he doesn’t drag you off to some secluded corner for a good half an hour just pressing little kisses all over your face and giggling when he pulls away and your face paint has gone all the colours of the rainbow, you are severely wrong

of course, he wants kisses as well. this is a give-and-take system and he wants just as much as he gives!!!

unfortunately, there is one disadvantage to spending so much time just canoodling

the others haven’t heard from you or asmo in a good hour and they are beginning to PANIC

mammon in particular is practically shooting off the walls and just constantly spamming you with ‘WHERE ARE YOU’ and ‘COME BACK’ messages

asmo doesn’t want you to go but he’s also kind of running off a high right now so he decides it’s okay and sends you off you find mammon with a cheery wave (and a love struck sigh once you’re out of earshot)

you find mammon just walking in circles in the communal area outside the cannibalistic not-zebras exhibit

he almost bursts into tears when you come up to him and tap him on the shoulder because it feels like he hasn’t seen you for what feels like hours and hours and he just,,, he missed you okay

after five minutes of him just furiously rubbing his eyes and refusing to admit why, he gathers himself and asks you what you want to go see

you have to think for a good long while because, while you’ve been to plenty of zoos in the human world and know by now the sorts of animals most of them have, devildom creature species are unpredictable

you could jokingly say ‘hyper-aware empathetic goose’ and they’d probably have one

but then you have a look around you and see the big map

and what is the first thing you see on that map?

‘vampiric venomous bats’

oh fuck yeah

mammon is a little concerned because the vvbs are known to randomly swoop down and attack the people who walk into their exhibit

he knows you can protect yourself!! but when you’re being swarmed by a horde of more than fifty giant bat creatures with enormous teeth full of venom that can kill you in seconds, there’s really not much you can do

and there is no expressing the amount of absolute misery that would descend on him if he let you get hurt

so instead, you make a compromise and decide to go to scheduled talk on the vvbs in ten minutes instead

normally mammon finds these zoo talks boring as all hell, but heck, if he gets to hold your hand for a whole forty five minutes without having to make an excuse to do so, he’s down

so off you go to the talk!

you’re having the absolute time of your life as the keeper shows you one of the more lethargic bats and describes exactly how it paralyses its prey with high frequency screeches and then kills it with a single bite to the neck

mammon, on the other hand, is honestly kind of spooked

that bat may be half-asleep, but it’s got the eyes of a murderer

so what if he shuffles a little closer to you every time the bat moves?? it’s not like he’s scared of it or anything! no way!

(please hold him or he may cry)

but then... DISASTER strikes

the keeper looks out across her bright-eyed audience, listening attentively to her explanation of how the vvb detects prey through the slightest vibrations in the air... and asks if there are any volunteers who want to hold it

everyone goes quiet. they’re all looking at the floor and avoiding eye contact like students who don’t want to be picked to answer a question in class. they may be demons, but even they know danger when they see it.

except...

mammon is just commenting to himself in amusement about how quiet everyone’s gotten when he looks to the side and practically feels his heart freeze

your hand has flown straight up into the air, and before he can pull it down, the keeper has called on you

mammon may be just as terrified of that bat as everyone else, but he isn’t going to let you go near that thing without him to protect you

the keeper looks a little befuddled as to why one of the most powerful demons in the devildom is following you up to the front like a very attached duckling, but luckily she goes along with it

first she gives you a super thick dragonhide glove to wear, just in case the bat gets violent

then she attaches the little lead around one of the bat’s feet to the end of the glove, so that even if it tries to attack an uncovered spot on your body, it’ll just get pulled back

(meanwhile, mammon, standing just behind you, is just barely holding back from bursting into demon form and wrapping himself around you to protect you)

and so, as you watch in anticipation and mammon in terror, the keeper slowly moves the bat from her arm to yours

at first it just kind of sits there and blinks and... doesn’t really do much

the keeper, however, seems very happy about this

“it means she already trusts you!!!”

and she tells you to try a simple little trick

“just flick your wrist up and she should swing down to hang from your hand!”

mammon is very pointedly whispering to you that that’s enough, you’ve held the bat, come on let’s get out of here

but you are determined to continue putting your life in danger, it seems, because you do exactly what the keeper says

and it works!!!

piki, which you have learned is the name of this particular bat, lets out a quiet squeak and drops to hang from one of the enormous fingers of your glove

you immediately go ‘wooAAAAAAAAAH’

mammon almost bites his tongue in half because of how on edge he is, but it turns out that he doesn’t need to be

because the bat turns to you, blinks once, and suddenly puffs up around the neck

you panic a little at first, but the keeper seems incredibly excited

“she’s displaying!!!!!!! she likes you!!!!!!!!!!! she sees you as a potential mate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

okay mammon is not having any of that

he is not about to be upstaged by a goddamn bat

and so the instant the bat and glove is removed from you, he grabs you by the hand and charges right out of that room, shouting something about it being urgent

leaving poor piki the vampiric venomous bat squeaking sadly because her new crush is gone

sad :(

now mammon is buying you a giant plush to make up for dragging you away like that

happy! :)

and you KNOW this means a great deal because mammon does not part with his money very easily. in fact, most of the time, one would have to physically threaten him into buying something for them

and the fact that mammon bought you a ridiculously expensive enormous plush that probably dug a pretty big hole in his savings without you even asking??? your heart basically melts on the spot

now you definitely can’t get angry at him for pulling you away so suddenly

so instead the two of you go to see the giant narwhals

you’re fascinated, but mammon is too distracted to even look at the narwhals

he just keeps staring at you looking so happy hugging the giant plush he bought for you so close to yourself with this giant dopey grin on his face

(s i m p)

he’s shaken out of his infatuated daze when he hears a camera shutter directly behind him

at first he whips around ready to fight because he’s expecting levi or asmo, but then he looks up slightly and comes face to face with none other than his beloved older brother

lucifer doesn’t even try to hide the tiny grin on his face as he very slowly raises his phone and takes a photo of mammon’s half shocked and half irritated face

mammon is so dumbfounded by how much kinder lucifer looks when he smiles like that. he doesn’t even recover in time to tell you who’s just showed up - you end up noticing by yourself

you should have given lucifer a bit of warning because the moment you turn around and and greet him with such a bright and happy smile on his face he is DECEASED

all you and mammon see is his cheeks going pink but let me tell you this man is screeching like a trapped possum on the inside

lucifer may act like he’s a Big Important Unfeeling Demon but everyone else knows that this man would quite literally bring you the moon if you asked (he probably wouldn’t be able to pull down the entire moon, but damn him if he isn’t going to try)

he has to stay silent for a moment because he knows that if he speaks his voice is going to crack and mammon absolutely would NOT let him forget that for the rest of his long life

once he’s managed to get his puddle of a heart back to a state where he can speak without sounding like the physical embodiment of being smitten, he’s quick to offer to take you to the nearby penguin exhibit

he’s paid attention to the messages he’s been receiving periodically from the other brothers throughout the day about the things you’ve been getting up to with them, and he has seen a pattern in the sort of creatures you like the best

that pattern is: the more deadly, the better, with bonus points if it still looks cute

and lucifer has been to this zoo enough times to know most of the best exhibits pretty well (especially since diavolo’s taste in deadly creatures is very similar to yours, so he knows that any of the demon prince’s favourites will probably end up pretty high in your list as well)

therefore he knows that the devildom’s penguins are about two and a half meters tall, with millions of retractable fangs in their beaks and venom sacs in their necks that they can spray so violently and quickly that they’ve become known as ‘venom machine guns’

and you are ALL ABOUT THAT

you’re so excited by the concept of these penguins that you don’t think twice before tucking your arm into lucifer’s outstretched one and following him off to the exhibit

leaving mammon pouting furiously behind the two of you

now, while the avatar of greed doesn’t dare to directly interfere with his older brother, he most certainly dares to inconvenience him

what does that mean? it means that mammon is immediately whipping out his DDD and shooting a quick message to the group chat specifically made without lucifer to let everyone know what’s going down

and, within ten minutes, every single one of the other brothers are heading right for the penguin exhibit as well

lucifer is in the middle of listening to you excitedly talk about piki the bat when he feels something hit him in the back

he turns to see, with great dismay, that the six other brothers have started following behind the two of you, and have begun taking turns throwing things at him. satan doesn’t stop even when he realises that he’s been spotted.

lucifer feels a vein pop in his cheek when satan manages to nail him right in the middle of the forehead with a screwed-up ball of paper

unfortunately for lucifer (and fortunately for the other six brothers), you quickly take notice of the group following behind you

the avatar of pride can only watch in dismay as you call out for the others to come join you to see the penguins

well, obviously, the others are coming now that you’re inviting them over!!

asmo immediately jumps to give you a little kiss on the nose just so he can see your face light up in all the colours of the rainbow again

(which earns several surprised noises from the other brothers since, while they knew from the pictures from asmo that the two of you had gotten your faces painted, they didn’t know the paint did that)

belphie subtly shuffles up behind you to give you a little prize figurine he spent way too long trying to win on one of the zoo’s mini claw-machine games, while beel attempts to find a stealthy way of sneaking the bag of treats he’s carefully sourced for you into your pockets, but ends up giving up on that and just hands you the bag instead

levi is still on a bit of a high from the mini aquarium date, so his face immediately goes fifty shades of red when he sees you, but instead of running off like he usually does when he’s flustered, he just offers you the WIDEST smile

satan is a little disheartened when he realises just how much bigger the plushie mammon got for you is than greenie... but who cares!! greenie is small and cute!! he most definitely isn’t puffing up slightly like an indignant owl when he sees you hug that plushie to yourself like it’s the softest thing in the world!! no sir!!!!!!

mammon is being kinda whiny about lucifer barging in and ruining your one and one time together, but then satan reminds him that they’ve all just interrupted lucifer’s one on one time with you before it could even really begin, and also points out (a little saltily) that, judging by the giant plushie in your arms, he’s already spent more than enough time with you

(luckily mammon isn’t exactly perceptive so he doesn’t pick up on it or else satan would be in for one hell of a teasing)

you, meanwhile, don’t miss the way that lucifer not so subtly presses himself closer to you as the eight of you are walking to see the penguins

so close that your arms are physically touching

it’s not like lucifer to be this clingy (well, clingy by his standards, anyway), but you aren’t going to bring it up considering that he would probably immediately move away out of ~pride~ if you did

unfortunately the other brothers don’t need you to point out lucifer’s behaviour to immediately start attempting to sabotage him

by the time you all get to the penguin exhibit, you’re surrounded completely by all seven of them, and they appear to be executing a genuine attempt to crush you if the pressure on all sides is anything to go off of

looking on the bright side of things, though, the penguins are SO CUTE

sure, they’re about nine feet tall with beaks full of millions of tiny serrated teeth and very toxic-looking feet-claws. but they’re ADORABLE

you love them so much!!!!!! but now the brothers are being big MEANIES and aren’t letting you get close to the fence

“those penguins can shoot venom up to twenty feet, we’re not taking any chances” so WHAT you just want to see the goddamn penguins!!!!!!!! you’ve survived countless near-death experiences down here, you can manage a bit of venom!

eventually your very pointed complaining finally gets most of them to relent (asmo is still against it, but majority vote says you get to get closer to the penguins, so HA) and you are allowed to go right up to barrier that separates the attraction from the spectators

you’re absolutely delighted, but the brothers quickly realise that their concerns about this whole thing were not unfounded

because that fucking penguin over there is totally giving you the googly eyes

levi is the first to notice - as the general of hell’s navy, he has a natural connection to all animals of the seas, even the ones that are only semi aquatic

satan notices soon after him - he’s been to plenty of ‘taming dangerous creatures’ club meetings, and he knows how to recognise attraction in animals

you yourself are pretty clueless until you suddenly notice that one of the flock is now sliding beak-first on its belly towards you

levi silently hopes you’ll be scared into leaving, but instead you just lean right up to the barrier (lucifer hurriedly grabs you by the arm before you fall over it) and whisper-shriek “hi baby!!!!!!!!!!!”

oh the brothers did not like that at all

but the penguin seems absolutely THRILLED

you’re pretty sure you see its eyes light up. like physically light up, not in the metaphorical sense - its eyes glow

(do devildom penguins understand human/demon speech?? you could swear from the penguin’s reaction to your greeting that they do, but when you ask satan about it later, he just scowls and shakes his head, proclaiming that devildom penguins have ‘a brain smaller than a tangerine and the motor function of a slightly bent paper clip’)

(damn satan you didn’t have to do the penguins like that)

anyway, this penguin, now thoroughly convinced that you are its destiny, hops to its feet, nods its head several times, then proceeds to start making the weirdest noise at you

you don’t even know how to describe it. it’s like a laser beam has been combined with a motorbike combined with a vacuum cleaner combined with levi when his favourite idol group releases a new song combined with that godawful screeching violin satan has been playing on repeat for two weeks just to annoy lucifer combined with, i don’t know, a turbo-charged printer or something. and then the whole thing’s been shoved through a dubstep filter.

it’s such a rattling sound that asmo, mammon, levi and belphie clap their hands to their ears, beel frowns so hard his entire face squishes inwards, satan recoils so far backwards that he’s about two feet further away from you than he was at first, and even lucifer actually physically flinches

(short break for a personal headcanon of mine but hear me out here: this man probably listens to nothing but full professional orchestra classical all day. he absolutely has that thing where his ears are sensitive to poorly played notes or just harsh grating sounds in general. you know, like how lan wangji and lan xichen in mdzs are physically repulsed by the sound of bad music? yeah that)

you wince slightly, but the pain in your eardrums is overpowered by your thrill about the fact that this penguin is actually talking to you

you smile wide and reply, leaning right up to the banister, “hello!! hi!! it's nice to meet you too!!”

if the penguin was happy before then it’s absolutely over the MOON now

it makes the weird honking sound again, nodding its head furiously at you, all the while shuffling closer and closer to the barrier

you are positively delighted by this development, but each of the demon brothers seem to be taking the penguin’s approach as a personal threat both to them and to you

beel’s expression is steadily scrunching up more and more in displeasure as each second passes, asmo’s glare could probably boil the penguin alive, and you’re pretty sure you just heard levi hiss at it

you turn around to try to tell them off for getting jealous over a penguin out of all things, but they are just not listening to reason

the penguin meanwhile is desperately trying to get your attention back by nodding even more frantically and honking so loudly that lucifer actually reels back a little

you try to turn back to it but then belphie decides that he’s going to shove his way right between you and the barrier and block the penguin’s line of sight

the penguin immediately sets up an extremely loud complaint, but belphie refuses to give it any rope at all

at this point the other brothers begin catching onto what he’s doing

mostly because of his weird twin telepathy thing, beel is the first to join belphie’s quest, with his giant frame being substantially more effective as a barrier, while asmo and satan work together to not-so-subtly start ushering the entire group backwards and away from the penguin

you’re attempting to protest, but lucifer is practically shouting over you about how interesting and fun you’ll find the giant giraffe exhibit, which just so happens to be on the other side of the zoo

the penguin is positively screeching at this point, but a moment later is suddenly goes silent. for a moment you’re afraid that one of the brothers have lost their nerve and actually killed it, but then you manage to spot it sliding away again around beel’s massive shoulder

turns out that, though his brothers don’t seem to care about his status and power placement at all, the avatar of greed’s glare is enough to silence even the most passionate of penguins

while the brothers exchange triumphant looks as they lead you away from the penguin exhibit, though, you’re more than a little upset by this whole ordeal.

the disrespect? abundant. the lack of sympathy? rampant. the audacity? sheer.

you make your displeasure very clear by scrunching up your face, crossing your arms, and refusing to respond to any of the brothers when they try to ask you something

goddammit, it was supposed to be a good thing that they saved you from the so obviously dangerous penguin, but now you’ve got them feeling bad

in the end, though, you still can’t stay mad at your boys for long

they all apologise (well, all of them except lucifer, whose pride will forever be his downfall, and belphie, who genuinely doesn’t think he’s done anything particularly wrong), and you can’t bring yourself to keep dampening the mood

so, with a short scolding that’s really little more than a light slap to the wrist to remind the boys that you don’t need to be protected from everything like some sort of delicate glass case despite how much they might think that’s the case, you’re back to your previous happy self

thank fuck

the rest of the day goes smoothly! the eight of you do indeed go to see the giant giraffes, which you actually get to feed, and beel somehow manages to knock down an entire row of rigged carnival targets to get you a pretty wooden carving of a super cool dragon

(you’re still not entirely sure how that happened but it was probably the sheer willpower)

you convince all of the brothers to take about three hundred photos with you in the cheesy green screen safari booths (it was mostly levi, lucifer and belphie who needed convincing, since beel and satan weren’t too fussed about it either way, and mammon and asmo were downright thrilled to do so)

lucifer buys the whole group matching keychains, despite the fact that they were pretty basic wood-and-plastic affairs but still cost a good fifty grimm each

(you’ve noticed that he seems to like doing that, considering the harrison porter keychain you’ve still got from that trip up to the human world back during the whole body swap fiasco)

he gets himself a fire-breathing peacock, mammon gets a gold-hoarding crow, levi gets a sea serpent, satan gets a good old regular cat, asmo gets a lesser spotted spectra, beel gets a manticore (since they’re known to eat more than three times their body mass on good days), belphie gets a giant carnivorous cow, and he begrudgingly lets you pick out the giant penguin design - as an apology for his actions earlier.

(you don’t fail to notice the slightly irritated looks levi and satan in turn both send the keychain as you tuck it safely into your pocket)

all in all

a lovely day out

10/10 would do again

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obeymehasinfluncedmythoughts · 4 years

Note

I love your work so much its just mmm ❤❤ Lately Ive been wondering how the nonyandere brothers would react to a sorta shameless mc. Like, in a non sexual way. An example being, oh no I spilled juice on my pants/shirt, better take it off and go get a clean one after finishing my juice. Would they be flustered? Would they start immediately stripping too, getting the wrong message? Throw a jacket on mc? A blanket? Blind everyone else?

I think we all know

When you were talking about stripping

Who comes to mind

Also, sorry to be a downer, but I've been seeing a lot of violence outside recently. Just another reminder: stay safe please.

Lucifer

What

You spilled hot sauce on yourself and this is your first course of action.

He's a bit flabbergasted

But Lucifer quickly over comes his shock and takes off his coat, draping it over your shoulders.

You might be confused, not seeing anything wrong with it, but Lucifer is not going to risk some demon catching sight of you through the windows in such a state of dress.

(Plus, if you're poly, it's a bonus to stake his claim lmao)

Mammon

He doesn't wait, you're going to get wrapped up like a damn Christmas present

"DON'T LOOK AT (MC)!!!"

(This just causes everyone to look at you)

He'll take whatever blanket, curtain, jacket, ext in sight just to keep you from the sights of others.

It's kinda excessive, but it's Mammon. What can you do?

Leviathan

Tbh, he kinda blushes and just turns away.

He might even aggressively walk out of the room.

(Everyone in the house who sees him afterward will wonder what the hell has got him going. Some might even investigate. Cue Mammon aggressively wrapping you up)

Probably plans out escape routes everytime you hang out lmao.

Satan

He genieunly isn't too bothered by nudity/semi nudity.

Might offer you his stupid jacket.

But otherwise pretty chill, that is when it's just the two of you.

He might be a little more protective when you're anywhere other than his room though.

(His brothers are weirdos. And even if you're in a poly relationship, he doesn't want to deal with what comes with them.)

Asmodeus

Here he is, the man, the myth, the legend who does in fact strip the moment he sees you taking your clothes off.

I mean, you could just be slipping off some socks and he's getting naked.

If anything he's the one making you uncomfortable.

Seriously, he's just that bad.

(Tbh, it's better if you're poly, because at least if you are then you can have someone aggressively protect you from Asmo lmao)

Beelzebub

I kinda have a feeling...he does this?

Not to a extreme extent (Like ah fuck I spilled milk all over myself. Gotta take off everything now). He probably just takes off his shirt/pants if he gets something on them.

So not really bothered by your habits.

Might offer his own clothes.

(Everyone else would prefer you didn't take him up on this offer as watching. Brel just walk around without any pants is kinda an intimidating sight.)

Belphegor

Probably doesn't notice. Or at least care enough to make a big deal out of it.

As long as you can come back to bed with him, he's fine tbh.

He's not super happy when someone else in the household looks at you whilst you're "in a state of undress", but more then likely he's going to give them the death stare, and now try to cover you.

(Even if you were poly, it'd probably be the same. Belpie is a firm believer of "his time", and when specific brothers overstep boundaries during it, he gets a bit pissy).

#obey me #obey me!#obey me beelzebub #obey me asmodeus #obey me mammon #obey me x mc #obey me belphegor #obey me luficer #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me x reader

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aforrestofstuff · 4 years

Note

What would happen at an s-class slumber party? Including Saitama I guess. Like who falls asleep first, who plays games, etc

I got these two asks like, literally ten minutes apart and idk what prompted all of these sleepy time curiosities pertaining to the S-Class but I am HERE for it. I’m gonna put them together into one masterpost because they’re roughly the same thing lol. Thanks for requesting stuff y’all! 😄💖

I was having trouble thinking of a possible scenario that could explain why the S-Class would even want to be in the same room together for more than 30 minutes, let alone have a sleepover. The best I could come up with is Sitch paid them all a handsome sum to sleep in the Hero Association lobby and stand guard because there’s an S-Class threat hit squad on the hunt for his executive ass. And, being the cheap-asses that they all are, they took the offer.

Now, with that out of the way, let’s get crackin fellas:

Tornado of Terror: She’s grumpy as all hell to be here (even though she got paid the most), so she just falls the fuck asleep and tells everyone to wake her up at the first sign of trouble because she thinks she’s the only one who’s capable enough to deal with it. She brings a pillow, a blanket, her jammies, and a teddy to sleep with. If anyone dares to open their mouth about Sir Stuffers then she’ll gladly explode their head.

Silverfang: Volunteers to take first watch, but because he’s an old shit he falls asleep 20 minutes into his shift. He doesn’t bring anything to sleep with because he convinced himself that he has the willpower to stay up all night but Charanko “accidentally” mixed melatonin into Silverfang’s tea before he left for the mission so now he’s passed the fuck out and not waking up anytime soon.

Atomic Samurai: Same as Silverfang: thinks he can stay up to stand watch and falls asleep 10 seconds into his shift. Except, he doesn’t need to be poisoned to accidentally fall asleep because dealing with his disciples is a triple full-time job and as a result, daddy Kami is always ready to pass the fuck out at any time. He’s basically a narcoleptic past 8pm. To sleep with, he brought a ratty-ass pillow and a bottle of night juice (saké).

Child Emperor: is nocturnal and completely fine with staying up all night, so he’s on watch the whole time. Although, the sound of candy wrappers makes it hard for anyone else to sleep and as a result, everyone is ready to punt this kid by 3am. He shows up in gym shorts and a t-shirt because what’s the point of getting dressed with these hooligans and spends the whole night hanging out with Zombieman. Although, he did bring a sleeping bag and pillow just incase he wants to take a power nap.

Metal Knight: Shows up in a power suit like this mf in Pacific Rim. Everyone thinks he’s just controlling a drone remotely but Sitch told him if he doesn’t show up in person then he doesn’t get the money, so he’s sitting in this tin can the whole time and trying his best to stay awake (he passes out by midnight). He’s also in his underwear. Idk why that was worth it to mention but there you go ❤️

King: Mentally on the verge of a breakdown at the thought of spending the whole night with these jackasses but shows up anyway because he wants that PS5 and is willing to do anything to get it. He gets there in his jammies, sets down his pikachu sleeping bag, and falls asleep without saying hi or offering to take watch. Everyone thinks that he’ll wake up naturally at the first sign of trouble and finds it really impressive that he fell asleep so fast, but he really just passed out from hyperventilating so hard. He would normally be perfectly fine with staying up all night because he’s a gamer and he does it all the time anyway, but anxiety really do be like that sometimes.

Zombieman: Is nocturnal like Child Emperor when he wants to be, but can also fall asleep in .2 seconds on a bed of nails. He’s perfectly fine with staying up all night because he constantly does it when following leads on a case and doesn’t bother bringing anything to sleep on. In fact, he shows up in full gear because he’s mildly paranoid and he wears it all the time anyway, it’s basically a second skin by now. He spends the night playing cards with CE and taking occasional sips from a flask to calm his nerves. They also take turns telling spooky ghost stories by the light of Zombieman’s lighter, to which he pretends to be scared. When he wants to smoke, he does it by Bofoi’s machine because fuck that guy.

Drive Knight: Forgot to change his Duracells the day before and falls over the second he walks in the door. Everyone thinks he’s a lazy ass for falling asleep so soon but he’s actually in a robo-medical emergency.

Pig God: is perfectly fine with staying up all night because, as I’ve said on multiple other hcs, he’s a hardcore gamer and being nocturnal is basically second nature. However, like Child Emperor, the sound of him constantly eating in the dark has everyone ready to jump his ass by midnight. He’s dressed in his pajamas as well, and they’re so big that they share the clothing measurements of an actual humpback whale.

Superalloy Darkshine: Falls asleep by 9pm on the dot every night and knows it’s pretty much impossible for him to stay up all night so he shows up in his Bedtime Thong(tm) with a sleeping bag and kindly asks everyone to wake him up if there’s trouble. Nobody listens but he pretends they do. He also brings a “small stash” (actual grocery bag filled to the brim) of protein bars to snack on incase he gets hungry in the middle of the night and offers a few to everyone, to which they decline (ultra-vegan keto-friendly gluten-free sugar-free flavor-free protein bars taste like actual garbage). And because he drinks a swimming pool of water every day (gotta stay at peak physique, yo), he gets up at least 12 times in the middle of the night to pee and he pisses so loud for no reason that it sounds like there’s a waterfall in the next room.

Watchdog Man: Carries his human-sized doggy bed in with his mouth and falls the fuck asleep without even announcing his presence. Nobody even notices he’s there. Sitch forgets to pay him.

Flashy Flash: Is fine with staying up all night to stand watch because he had to do it so many times in the ninja village anyway, but fuck me if he isn’t pissy about it. He shows up in full gear because, like Zombieman, he wears it so often that it’s basically a second skin at this point. By 2am he fucks off to take a shower because being in the same room with these people actually makes him feel unclean and he doesn’t leave the bathroom until the sun starts to rise. His hair, however, looks twice as shiny.

Genos: Shows up, points his arm cannon at the door incase of possible intruders, and doesn’t move for 12 hours. He brought Saitama along because why not and mr caped baldy greatly regrets it.

Metal Bat: Shows up in gym shorts with his bat, a blanket, and a pillow and fucks off to the corner of the room to brood. He takes watch for a few hours in between power naps, and sleeps with his phone .2 inches away from his face incase Zenko calls. When she does, he wakes up at the speed of light and loudly answers the phone like there isn’t at least 7 other people sleeping within close proximity to him. It’s never for an emergency, she just calls like 3 times into the night because she had a bad dream or she’s wondering how he’s doing. But regardless of what it is, Badd is ready to run all the way home and be with her. He just took the job because he wants to buy her a bigass gift with all the money he’ll be receiving.

Tanktop Master: Same as Superalloy, except he snores like a motherfucker. He doesn’t need waterfall piss to keep everyone up because this mf sounds like a lawn mower. He shows up in his Tanktop Pajamas (which is basically just a Tanktop with pajama bottoms) and takes watch in between power naps, to which he sleeps on a Tanktop Sleeping bag (just a regular sleeping bag, there’s literally nothing different about it) with his Tanktop Pillow (also just a regular pillow, literally nothing special about it).

Puri-Puri Prisoner: sleeps naked. Dick out.

Saitama: Gets bored as hell by 10pm and tries to wake up King so they can play video games together on his gameboy that he smuggled in, but the poor bastard is OUT. Saitama tries to sleep, however, he forgot to bring anything to sleep on so he tries to roll up his cape and use it as a pillow but, alas, he gets a neck cramp so bad that he actually almost starts to cry.

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djemsostylist · 3 years

Text

Djem's Legion Thoughts

About three years ago my brother joking suggested I read the Horus Heresy, knowing literally nothing about Warhammer. (Literally nothing. I just thought Space Marines were big dudes in armor and I had never heard of Primarchs and I still know nothing of 40k. Have no idea how the Heresy ends--I'm spoiler free babes.) Anyway, what follows are my feelings on each Legion at the following times:

As of midway through Fulgrim

At the end of First Heretic

At the start of the Master of Mankind

Halfway through the Siege

This is very long. I'm not sorry.

Dark Angels

idk I haven’t met them yet, but their name tells me they are either going to be amazing or fucking awful

Um I still dk

God I fucking love these stupid idiots. Like, they are stupid, for sure, but I dunno, I dig their bizarre sort of pseudosecrecy thing. Plus, aesthetically I’m all about weird monk orders. Also, nothing kills me quite like Farith Redloss having anxiety attacks over trying to figure out Lion.

Corswain showing up like the living embodiment of the dude with the pizza where the apartment is on fire is just so deeply on brand for these chucklefucks like, Lion is all “I’m deeply uncomfortable where Imperial Secundus is concerned so instead I’ll just go ahead and attack home planets because that will demoralize the traitors and then I’m Doing My Part” like fam, pretty much all the traitors sans Perturabo are actual literal demons rn and they all had zero qualms betraying their immediate brothers and also the emperor (and Perturabo already fucked over his own) why in the livid fuck would you think this is in any way helpful, but this is Classic Lion and I love him now on account of that one time when he hugged Roboute because he was proud of him and also because he calls all of his sons “Little Brother” bc he is afraid of being a dad and also because I too am deeply avoidant of issues I don’t want to deal with.

Emperor's Children

mostly wonderful, because they are fabulous and also extremely extra, but they have the most ginourmous fuckwad as a Lord Commander, BUT they have a very good boy as another one, so idk really. Plus the whole betrayal thing and the fucking lodges, but they are purple and fabulous, so, +1?

These are the saddest boys ever in the whole world, and they didn’t deserve what happened to them. I loved them all except for Eidolon and they didn’t deserve anything bad to happen to them ever bc they were precious and I loved them. Also Fabius because he was bugnuts and he hurt my boys.

Jesus, I’m so fucking over them all

Honestly I’m so tired

Iron Warriors

I totally confused them with the Iron Hands. Idk even, boring? But Perturabo (while he has a fucking terrible name) also hates Horus so +15

I still know nothing about them, but I think they are buttholes because of the whole Isstvan V thing. Dick move guys, dick move.

I literally can’t. Like, their entire shtick is besieging and being besieged, and then being pissy bc it is what they are good at???? Like, they are literally traitoring bc their dad got a hair up his ass bc he wasn’t a good independent thinker and didn’t think he was allowed to build castles or whatever? Idk they are exhausting except for the ones that aren’t

I still don’t really get them at all except like 99% of them who aren’t named Barabas Dantioch are asshats and are not independent thinkers who are literally still traitoring for reasons unknown except to stick it to the emperor like?? Get an actual culture??? Just literally stop???

White Scars

I dunno, haven’t met them, but since no one else talks about them, I’m gonna guess, boring?

I dunno but they are worried about them hooking up with the Rout so I guess they are cool?

Oh bless your tiny little souls. They are so sweet, and so, so dumb. But sweet.

They are very, very good boys. They don’t have a ton of range per say but their simplicity is sort of the point I think. They are what space marines are supposed to be, and I love them for that

Space Wolves

ehm, oh, I’m sorry, The Rout. Whateverthefuck, they’re boring, over-the-top fuckheads who are giant fucking hypocrites who suck and probably don’t ever shower. Honestly, they rival the Emperor’s Children in extraness, and not in the loveable way. Fucking awful, 0/10.

Okay, honestly, not as awful as some. I mean, hella extra and I hate what they did at Prospero, but in a world full of awful things, we gotta pick and choose.

They are just so, so...Space Wolfy. Bless them they try, and some of them legit crack me up. I’m just not about their aesthetic, you know?

Much like the other fuckups amongst the Loyalists, they are a blunt instrument used for a specific purpose and do better with like...direct instruction. I’m saying they are not the kind to do well with metaphor and also a lack of like, a dad. They need TE:BBA is what I’m saying.

Imperial Fists

Literally only met them briefly, but they seem a good sort. I like their Primarch? -3 tho cause damn that color scheme.

Still good boys.

Omg I love you all, you precious little bbs. They are just so calm and stoic and honestly even though yellow is a hideous color they are literally like Templars and that is fantastic?????

Listen, the amount of love that I have in my heart for these precious, perfect boys is rivaled only by my love for Rogal Dorn, who might possibly be, and I don’t wanna sound dramatic here, be the love of my life but anyway.

Night Lords

idk but their name sounds sick.

Right, these guys are also dicks. I hate them on principle.

Every time I think of them all I can think of is that one video of the goths dancing under the bridge. They are so. Fucking. Extra. Christ alive, get a hobby that isn’t fucking skinning people.

Yeah idk they still mostly suck and to be perfectly honest I’m still not entirely sure what their point was, even pre-heresy? Like what role did psychopaths play in TE:BBA’s plan for a glorious human empire, someone explain

Blood Angels

I dunno cause I’ve only ever met their First Captain (who was consorting with fuckheads) but Sanguinius is literally Top Tier Fabulous, like Prince Extra, so I hope they don’t let me down

I’m still holding out hope. Don’t let me down boys.

OH. MY. GOD. Honestly, kill me, I love them so, so, so, so, so much, it’s a lot. And I suspect something terrible will happen with them but I don’t care because they are perfect. All of them. Wonderful, perfect, lovely, caring boys who love their dad and I love them. Sweet, loving, precious little bbs who occasionally suffer from tragic vampiric tendencies but I don’t love them any less. They better stay perfect forever. If I could, I would be like Sangy and just take them all everywhere with me so that they could always be safe <3 On a less gushy note, I think one of the most important aspects of the Blood Angels (and of their primarch) is that while they acknowledge their differences from unmodified humans, they also love humanity, deeply. They see them as worth fighting for and protecting, and acknowledge that their abilities allow them to create a universe that is safe for the common man to live in. There is a sort of profound love and tenderness that they have for humanity, and I think it really does make a difference in their legion. (That scene is Master of Mankind with the Blood Angel and the Custodian really highlights what I’m saying here.)

Listen, this may sound dramatic, and I don’t wanna like, go over the top, but I would literally die for them, which would seem counterproductive since that is what they do for humanity but the amount of love of I have for this entire legion and one Angel is too big to contain in my heart okay

Iron Hands

I don’t know them well yet, but they seem like good boys overall. I’m sure one of them is bound to be a crazy fucker tho.

They are good boys. I don’t know them very well, but my favorite moment is when Ferrus had to thank Lorgar for his help so he made him a crozius and then threw it at him because he didn’t want to have to talk awkwardly.

Poor sad bbs

No, but really, poor sad bbs

World Eaters

literally terrible people, but I guess when your Dad is bugnuts….

Definitely should have been put down. As in to death. They should have been killed. Probably.

Still fucking crazy. But I love Kharn, and honestly Lotara (who I know isn’t technically a World Eater but close enough.)

No but they probably should have all been just euthanized? I mean not Kharn bc I love him but also like--they are not viable. Long term? Tbh still not entirely sure what TE:BBA’s plan was here with them and Angron (I’m gonna assume something along the lines of ignore it and hope it goes away, since that is mostly his plan for everything)

Ultramarines

probably enormous squares, but tbh in a galaxy with World Eaters and the Rout, we could do with some squares.

Honestly, I have no issues with them. They do their duty, they are loyal. I hope to love them though. They actually believe in colors.

HOLY FUCK DO I LOVE THEM. ALL 200,000 OF THEM. (Which is probably what Roboute thinks tbh.) Like, I literally haven’t met a single one that I don’t adore and love with my whole soul and entire being. They are precious, soft, beautiful bbs who I adore with my whole heart. And who will make great leaders of the world someday I’m so proud. On a less gushy note, much like the Blood Angels, the Ultramarines really have a sort of profound feeling of protection and duty towards humans. They may not always like dealing with them, but Roboute is of the firm belief that they must understand what they are truly fighting for. Saving humanity is not enough, you have to fight for the humans who live there. (See, the one short story where they find a baby and I died.)

No but what you don’t quite get is that I literally love them. Every single individual solitary one of them, and while some may say “But Djem such a thing is impossible you haven’t met every Ultramarine” I need you to understand that the depth of my love for them and their Primarch is such that I know, in my bones, that I don’t need to meet them all to love them okay bc I already do.

Death Guard

Okay, so honestly I wanted to hate them (because BETRAYAL) but tbh its only the First and Second Captains who suck a lot and idk really the rest are sort of tragically precious??

Seriously, what is Mortarion’s issue?

No, seriously, what the fuck is their problem? Get the fuck over it.

Okay, I do feel bad. For Mortarian. Of all the traitors, him I understand the most. However, that being said, while I can understand his issues, I feel like giving yourself over to demons, turning into actual demons, and also turning on and killing your brothers who refused to become said demons makes you terrible awful people who really need to like, die.

Thousand Sons

okay, I fucking love these lame Warrior Monk Priest Wizards who live in a literal glass city with restaurants and teach random people Tai Chi in the park or whatever. Overall 10/10

I am v. worried that they are going to do something dumb like join the rebellion in order to affect change from the inside and then like, adopt demons or something. Pls don’t be dumb boys.

I don’t even fucking--look, I’m just tired okay?

What the fuck Azhek. No seriously, ⅞ is good enough? What the fuck is wrong with you?

Sons of Horus? Luna Wolves? who the fuck knows

my precious sons. You did not deserve what was done to you. This is why we don’t do frats. I believed in you and you failed me. D:

I love my precious sons. The Sons of Horus however, can go die.

I just--why are you the way you are?

I think the best thing about these absolute morons is that half the legion isn’t even demon fuckers, they just woke up one day and Horus told them to kill their brothers and they went “sure okay” and then just did. They are so fucking pretentious and stupid, fucking speartip, honestly die. I take it back. You all deserved exactly what you got, you dumb fucks.

Word Bearers

look, I haven’t met the rest of these dudes yet, but Erebus is a terrible fucking ambassador. -60/10 for not controlling their boy

HOLY LORD. I cannot--there are not actually words to describe how much I loathe these ignorant dumbasses. Like, seriously. Honestly, the ones who were purged were probably lucky, because the rest of them fucking suck.

God, eat a fucking landmine. Except, that would probably turn them on or something. Fucking assholes.

Just--imagine being such a fuckup that even when you were the first to the “become a demon, save the world” thing you still somehow ended up last. I hope the Ultramarines put down every. Single. One.

Salamanders

idk but this name is dumb. Salamanders are cute and slimy, and while Astartes are fucking adorable, they are not slimy. -1 for the dumb name

They are loyal, which is cool, and they seem like chill bros.

I just, like, they are sweet, but good lord are they simple.

I’m not sure? What they are doing? With their lives? Guys, idk if anyone told you but like, um. There is a war. And I get they’ve had it rough but also the loyalists could use their hope so maybe, idk. Do something? I mean I know there are like, 50 of you left and also you think your dad is dad and I feel you but like-

Raven Guard

idk but I like Ravens and Black, plus their Primarch’s name is Corvus? 11/10 they better not suck.

OMG I love Corvus?? Flies with a giant jetpack and tried to gut Lorgar? Yeah, he’s wonderful. Plus, their Captain seemed cool before he was fucking murdered.

I love them all, bless. They are sweet and simple and kind of stupid, but they make me feel things in my heart, so like, idk, stay precious.

Look, I cried over Branne fucking Nev, I don’t wanna talk about it rn

Alpha Legion

seriously? Lame.

Fuck these guys. What is their deal?

I can’t even really. I really, truly can’t. Nothing has ever satisfied me the way I was satisfied when Alpharius literally lost his head. God, that was beautiful.

Or Omegon? It was actually Omegon? I don’t even know anymore man

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themysteriousauthor18 · 4 years

Text

Your worth it [Radiodust oneshot]

"Care to explain why you are late again this evening."

"I toldja I was out with someone!"

This isn't what Angel needed right now. He just got back to the hotel and it was a little over midnight. 12:05 to be precise. Clearly, Alastor had an issue with it. Since Vaggie nor Charlie could get him to follow that curfew, Alastor had been put in charge.

It wasn't like he hadn't been trying to get back in time, but it didn't matter how hard he tried.

Naturally, Charlie and Vaggie were also in the room, standing behind Alastor watching as he tore Angel apart, metaphorically of course. Vaggie scoffed crossing her arms and rolled her eyes. Normally Charlie, who was behind her, would have intervened but she seemed to justify it this time.

What a load of bullshit was that?

"So you were out with another of your 'clients.'" Alastor asked his tone firm.

With the day Angel had that tone sounded smug which only pissed him off more when in reality it was just how Alastor talked and merely a simple question. He just wanted to go to his room and deal with any punishments later.

Angel crossed his upper set, lower on his hips as he glared right back at the deer demon. "Maybe it was a fuckin' guy who was takin' me out fa dinner you don't fucking know!"

Alastor laughed, "right. Like anyone would date you, a slut."

"Alastor!" Charlie interjected her eyes growing wide at the clear overstep.

"What? I am merely stating facts, my dear. You truly believe anyone in their right mind would actually compliment him on anything besides his sexual favors? Give him flowers, or even give him a letter that isn't-"

"Alastor enough." Charlie sternly said, eyes meeting her business partners. Alastor didn't understand what the big deal was, that was until he looked back at Angel dust.

He wasn't crying, no of course not. But his eyes held a clear gloss over them. Nails dug into his arm and clothing but the look on his face practically spat venom.

It was then he realized he'd gone too far. He didn't know what to say, 'sorry' obviously was appropriate. But no words found their way to his mouth as he stared at that expression.

"Angel, Alastor didn't mean it. I'm sure anyone would wanna-"

The arackniss laughed it off as he quickly brushed by, the bar cat watched from his place behind the counter. Eyes just as wide as Charlie's and even Vaggie who knew it had gone too far.

"No he's right.," Angel muttered, voice strained. "Who'd eva love a slut like me. It's all I'm good for is sex."

"Angel that's not what he was saying!" Charlie tried but Angel was already walking out of the room, making the excuse of feeling tired and needing to sleep. Though it wasn't entirely false.

Alastor stared at the spot Angel had been in, only turning once the spider had left the room. His smile tightened and although the others couldn't see, his nails dug into the palms behind his back.

"Alastor that was so mean! You shouldn't say such hurtful things!" Charlie said with a disapproving frown.

Vaggie wrapped an arm around her girlfriend shaking her head as she pulled her away. Even Husk was shaking his head at the radio demon before turning his back away and chugging down some alcohol.

The demon sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Perhaps he had gone too far.

"You gotta fix that. Kids not gonna be too happy with you if you don't at least say sorry." Husk announced.

Alastor looked back at the hall. "..Yes, perhaps you're right." Although he didn't doubt what he said was true, it was uncalled for.

The redhead briskly walked out of the lobby and down the hall to Angel's room. Near the end, he stopped at one of the many doors and gently knocked. It sounded quiet, normally he would have heard some sort of music from inside or something breaking from the other times Angel had lashed out.

There was no response to the knock, understandable. So he tried again, this time hearing shuffling from inside followed by a hiss of some sort. He took a step back, folding his hands behind his back, and waited. But when there was no answer to the door, nor any indication that there would be, he decided to speak.

"Angel? This is Alastor." No response. "I recognize that what I had said may have been out of line and I would like to apologize." Still no response.

The redhead sighed and shook his head. "Angel? Are you there?" At times Alastor wasn't great at picking up on social cues, right now was one of those times.

He was apologizing, isn't that what Angel desired? Why not simply open the door and accept it? Then they could be on their merry way.

Alastor took a step back, deciding it best to just leave the spider to his tantrum. But when he heard the all too audible footsteps followed by the door opening he turned back.

Angel stood in the doorway, his usual attire wrinkled, mascara running down his white fur eyes puffy and red. A blanket was lazily draped around his shoulders held up by his top set while the bottom held himself.

Alastor simply flashed his usual smile, the fake one. "Ah there you are, I hope there are no hard feelings between us. You do understand that-"

"Your fucking fake Alastor!" Angel suddenly yelled.

His words caught Alastor off guard, he couldn't remember the last time someone had dared speak to him in such away. The last person who had ended up being his dinner for the night.

His eyes narrowed, grin widening. "You are certainly one to talk Angel. You are the very definition of it." Alastor spat back.

Angel's grip around the blanket tightened, baring his own teeth. "Oh, you just came ta insult me some more hah!? Your only apologizing 'cause Charlie got on ya fuckin' ass for it! I don't need your damn pity! I know what I am I don't need you to fucking tell me!"

Alastor for the first time in years found himself at a loss for words. And before he could gather any the door was being slammed in his face with enough force to cause his monocular to fall off.

He rolled his eyes, the spider would calm down in time. He always did, this would all blow over in a few days.

It didn't.

1 week had passed and while Angel seemed back to his usual self it was clear he now had some strong animosity towards the radio demon. Whether he'd always had it and was now showing it, or it was the result of their argument was undecided.

He behaved normally towards everyone else in the hotel, drinking with Husk, helping Charlie out where he could, and only occasionally messing with Vaggie.

But Alastor, he wouldn't even look at the man. And when the radio demon directly approached him he would walk off.

It was no secret, everyone had noticed it including Alastor.

Angel would only occasionally hit on the radio demon and that was whenever the redhead approached him or he was told to. Otherwise, they didn't speak, that had been how things were between them before all of this.

Truly, it was a blessing to no longer have those comments. At least, he thought it would be. He didn't miss him, no no. To miss someone you had to enjoy their company in the first place.

No, it was...simply exhausting.

With Angel being the hotel's prime and first client there was a lot of advertisement involved. And quite a lot of times Alastor or Charlie would handle them, lately, Charlie had to handle them since the spider wouldn't even speak to Alastor.

Truly it was just, problematic.

"Your gonna have to fix this," Husk told, pouring a generous glass of whisky. He'd need it.

"Yes Husker I am well aware," Alastor replied, sipping the drink.

"And you tried apologizing?" The cat poured a glass for himself.

"Yes, but the stubborn fool wouldn't accept it. He insists on fighting about this when there is truly no point in it." Alastor shook his head as if it were all so crystal clear.

Husk gave him a look as he leaned on the bar. "I know your new to friends and everything-"

"He is no friend of mine," Alastor said into his glass.

"Yeah, sure." Husk grumbled. "But you can't just say something like that and expect them to forgive you just like that. Not how people work kid."

Alastor scoffed at the term, even if Husk was older than him he didn't like being addressed as such. "Then what am I supposed to do? Hm? This little tantrum of his has become quite troublesome for my work."

Husk rolled his eyes as he finished his drink, refilling it. He knew what Angel was feeling wasn't a tantrum and was justified, but he knew Alastor too. He wasn't going to listen, he'd have to just learn the hard way.

"Figure it out. Your problem, you clean it up."

Alastor's eyes glowed, an obvious annoyance behind them. But Husk knew as well as he that the radio demon wouldn't kill him. Not unless he crossed a line. The cat didn't fear death but welcomed it, so there wasn't much he could do to punish him or scare him.

Husk met his glare, not backing down or cowering like most of hells citizens would in this situation. He'd stared death in the face during life more times than he could count, he wasn't about to cower just because some pissy deer man was glaring at him.

After a moment, Alastor huffed and shot back the rest of his drink before setting it down on the counter. As per usual, Husk was right.

"Fine. I shall think of something." Alastor grumbled as he pushed off the bar and begun walking towards the exit.

"Good luck." Husk offered as Alastor left the hotel for the afternoon.

He didn't know what day it was, nor the month. Then again time was irrelevant in hell. All he knew was that he was tired and wanted to sleep.

It had been another hard day at the studio filled with its usual challenges and little rewards. With the shooting for his new film coming out, the clients and then having to deal with Valentino's horrible attitude, it was all too much for today.

Not to mention his temper that had gotten him into trouble in the first place and the bruises on his face. Make-up would cover it up, or at least that was Valentino's excuse.

The spider trudged to his door, the sky had darkened long ago. Sleep. That's all he wanted.

Walking to his room he expected a lot of things, mainly Charlie ambushing him and trying to convince him to 'make up' with Alastor. He didn't see the point, it was Alastor who had crossed the line, to begin with. And frankly, he no longer wanted to deal with the man.

When he reached the door of his room, something greeted him that he did not expect.

Sitting on the floor in front of his door lay a red envelope closed with a wax seal.

With a grown, lower pair holding himself, he leaned down and picked up the envelope walking into his room with it. Fat nuggets greeted him, the only highlight of his day. He picked up the small pig in his lower set and sat himself down on the bed.

He switched his lamp on as he settled onto his small pink bed. It wasn't the best but it was something, and that's what mattered, to him at least.

He sighed as he removed the seal and opened the envelope. It was probably one of his creepy fans sending him another letter. He didn't mind it, it came with the job. What he did mind was that they were being sent to his room in the hotel. He wanted this to be a place where he could get away from that, not having to deal with it still.

Oh well.

As he pulled the red? A red paper? Okay, that was strange.

As he pulled the red paper from the envelope, discarding that he turned it over in his hands, his brows knitting together in confusion. It wasn't a letter about how much this person loved his body, movies, or any of that, hell there weren't even any stains on it. It wasn't even a letter.

It just had a single sentence written on it in neat cursive.

You are nice

Angel wasn't sure how to feel about this. His first thought was that this was a prank, but then remembered nobody in the hotel pulled pranks, except maybe Nifty. But she didn't talk with him much.

Maybe it was sent to the wrong place?

Angel shook his head, far too tired to try and figure this out. Still, even if it wasn't meant for him the note was nice even if he didn't believe it or if it wasn't true.

He smiled briefly and carefully set the paper on his vanity somewhere where his pig couldn't get it.

With that out of the way, the spider flopped onto his bed, allowing the much-needed sleep to take him as his mind buzzed around the sentence on the note and the mysterious person who wrote it.

He thought that was the end of it, but the next evening when he returned from the studio, just like the previous night another letter greeted him in the same spot. Same envelope, same-colored paper, and same hand-writing.

Doing the same as he had the previous night, he opened the letter again, this time a new sentence greeted him.

You are good

Angel huffed at the message, if this was an accident then it was a nice one. If there had been an address anywhere he would have perhaps written back and let them know of the mix-up. But there wasn't.

Still, he enjoyed it while it lasted. He was sure the person they were intended for would notify the other that they weren't getting them and this would end, but for now he would enjoy it.

As the days went on, Angel continued to get a new letter each day upon returning to his room. Each and every single one held the same red paper and envelope and always had just one sentence neatly written in cursive on it.

At first, the messages seemed awkward but with each new one, they appeared more genuine than the last.

You are smart

You are brave

You are strong

You are powerful

And then those notes branched off into longer messages with more emotion behind them.

You glow brighter than any star.

You are incredibly selfless

Your smile is a rare and beautiful site.

And then came the latest one...

You are worth it.

This had been going on for another week at the very least and Angel found himself looking forward to them. He didn't know who they came from, but he could imagine that they were meant for him.

"Whatever you did must be working," Husk muttered from behind the bar. Alastor sat on the other side, sipping his whisky as he worked on some papers.

"What makes you say that?" He asked, not looking up from his work.

Husk was polishing a glass as he looked to the redhead. "Kids seemed more chipper than usual. He left this morning smiling like an idiot and actually wanted to help that princess with cleaning yesterday. What did you do put a spell on him?"

Alastor chuckled, sipping his drink a more genuine smile falling on his lips. "No. Merely an....experiment you could say." One that seemed to be working.

Truthfully the first few had been just cliche greetings and compliments, but in his more...recent ones, they had been rather genuine.

Angel still refused to speak to him, but that was fine. He wasn't outright walking away whenever he got close to him now, but still wouldn't talk.

He couldn't help but observe Angel these past days, noticing just how kind he could be whenever those rare moments presented themselves. He'd offered to help Charlie with cleaning, Nifty with cooking, and even held a decent conversation with Vaggie without fighting.

And while there were times Angel could be rather vulgar, he found he had his moments where he shined like a star. Just the other evening he'd stumbled upon the spider teaching the princess a bit of dancing, likely during their cleaning.

Of course, once he was noticed the spider went cold once again.

It was a side that he didn't know Angel could have. And it fascinated him.

"Hey Husky~" The voice came from behind, Alastor didn't bother turning already knowing who it was.

The cat rolled his eyes as the spider strolled up to the bar, hopping onto one of the stools, noticeably away from the redhead who he pretended wasn't there.

"The fuck do you want." Husk grumbled, per usual.

Angel wasn't affected, he was wearing a dress today, and his make up a little heavier. He'd just gotten back. "A drink~" He purred.

Husk shook his head with a groan as he got to work on getting the spider a drink.

Alastor kept his gaze off the spider, knowing it wasn't wanted nor was he. But he wasn't going to move just because Angel was here, he had work to do.

As Husk prepared the drink, Angel leaned on the bar a small smile on his lips. He did appear more chipper, but with Alastor there, it did make things a bit awkward.

"You look like haven just accepted your ass. What you get some good dick for once?" Husk asked, placing the pink drink in front of Angel.

The spider hummed, sipping the straw lightly as he maintained that smile. "Nah, but let's go with that."

Husk shrugged, not prying. It wasn't his business, but he already knew why the spider was behaving this way and who was behind it. Not that he was going to say anything.

"I'll be right back." Husk grumbled, turning to leave the bar. Angel piped up, alarmed as he grabbed the cat's arm.

"Were ya goin' Husky? You don't wanna hang with me?" Angel said, batting his eyes but the anxiety was there.

Husk gave him a look. "Can't I fuckin' take a leak? Damn. You're a big boy you'll be fine." He grumbled as he pulled his arm away.

It was an excuse but the pair needed an obvious talk and he sure as hell wasn't going to be around for it.

Angel frowned as Husk left the room, leaving just him and the radio demon alone at the bar. He slumped down against the bar, keeping his eyes on the drink. His stomach churned, he wanted to get up and leave but at the same time knew he had to confront this eventually.

Just not today.

At least that was his excuse, he would finish his drink and then go back to his room. He was never good at confrontation.

Alastor knew what Husk was doing and didn't miss the fear in Angel's voice. Not fear of him, but for being alone with him.

He closed his eyes, sighing, and set the papers aside. This confrontation was inevitable, it was bound to happen eventually.

The redhead looked to his side, only noticing just how Angel was dressed. It was tacky at best, but that was only because he found Angel more appealing without all the make-up. It was that raw bare-bone self that he enjoyed seeing.

The real Angel, not this facade.

He cleared his throat, watching for any indication that Angel wanted to speak to him. He flinched but didn't look his way. Of course.

Lord, what was he supposed to say in this situation.

"You are wearing quite a lot of make-up today.." Not that.

Angel frown turned into a scowl at the comment but didn't offer a reply, hit pace on the drink quickened.

"Not that there's anything wrong with that..." Alastor quickly added it didn't seem to help.

Angel shook his head, finishing his drink. "You can tell Charlie to stop pressuring you I'll fuckin' tell her I forgive you." Even though he didn't.

Alastor's smile faltered as Angel pushed off the bar and started for the hall, a week back he would have let him go. Wouldn't have cared but this time for whatever reason, he did to some extent. Whether it was the desire to be forgiven or to no longer have that cold towards him.

He quickly followed after the spider who was briskly walking down the hallway. He had to say something. So in this moment of panic and limited time frame, his mind decided to blur out,

"You're worth it!"

He mentally smacked himself.

He didn't know if the reaction was positive or not, but he caused the spider to stop dead in his tracks.

Alastor ground his teeth together at the deafening silence that lasted for five minutes at the very least. He was truly contemplating just turning around and leaving the hallway, pretending this never happened.

But refrained from doing so when Angel turned and looked at him, not with anger but pure confusion.

"What." He finally said.

Alastor hesitated, cursing at the ears on his head folding back at his anxiety bubbling up in his chest. He swore these feelings were destroyed long ago.

"You... you're worth it." He slowly repeated.

Angel just stared, wide-eyed as the gears in his head worked to click the pieces together. Alastor stood like a statue, his body tense.

"You wrote those notes," Angel said his voice strained. Alastor opened his mouth to reply but was at a loss for words. "Seriously!?" Angel's voice raised as he spun around, not marching up to Alastor and aggressively poking his chest. "You think it's fuckin' funny playing these pranks on me!? Huh! Your pretty fucking sick Alastor!"

"Angel let me explain please!" Alastor's voice raised, something that didn't happen very often if at all.

Angel was back to glaring at the deer demon, he clicked his tongue and crossed his arms. "You got five minutes."

He didn't know why he felt the need to explain himself, or maybe he did know why and just didn't want to acknowledge it. Either way, he wanted to try at the very least to mend the tear in whatever it was they had.

"I'm not very good with words nor emotions." Alastor started with, ears still pressed down against his head, showing his true feelings despite the now smaller smile on his lips.

He continued, "I am not very good with people. Their desires yes..but not truly befriending them."

"Four minutes," Angel stated bitterly.

"What I said to you crossed a line."

"Yeah, it did."

"But I did not mean to offend you. Even if it appeared that way, Husker aside, I've never met someone such as you either Angel. Someone who has no problem putting me in my place and not fearing me. I am not sure what to say that could mend what I've said nor am I sure there is anything I could say except, I'm sorry. And Charlie is by no means forcing me to this, it's all my own choice."

Angel sighed, his eyes glued to Alastor and that expression. "I don't know if I can forgive you right now.." Angel muttered.

"I understand," Alastor answered calmly.

"Why the notes..was that just a game."

Alastor shook his head. "I wanted to apologize, but I didn't know how. Even if I am not forgiven I believe it's only right that you deserve some sort of happiness here."

A silence fell between them as Angel processed it all and Alastor tried to maintain eye contact, resisting the urge to walk away.

"Didja mean it," Angel asked, an uncharacteristically serious look to those mismatched eyes. "Your notes."

"At first, no." He answered honestly. "But the more I wrote them they began to become genuine."

Angel huffed shaking his head. "You got a crush on me or somethin' Smiles?" He joked, lightly.

Alastor smile tightened. "I don't know." His answer was honest and vulnerable something Angel didn't expect.

Angel colors tinted red in surprise. "Uh.."

Alastor looked away, his own face turning a shade of red. "You are..different, and it's intriguing."

Angel scoffed, unraveling his arms. "Yeah, I'm different alright. Sex worker 'in shit."

"Yes, you are.." Alastor looked up. "But I've come to realize that you are far more than that. That you are indeed worth it."

Angel's lips turned up into a small smile, the genuine tone in the deer's voice being more than enough of an indication that he was being truthful this time.

"I'll consider forgivin' ya. But this is a good start." Angel offered, and Alastor perked up a visible light in his eyes if those ears perking up too were any indication.

That was cute.

"Would dinner perhaps help?" Alastor offered his face reddening.

"Hm, I'll think about it," Angel said with an obvious smile. "Gal needs 'er beauty sleep though."

"Ah-yes, right," Alastor said nervously. "Well, goodnight Angel."

"Goodnight Alastor," Angel called back as they turned their opposite ways down the hallway.

The next morning Angel awoke to another note on his nightstand, and this time, a red rose sat beside it.

Angel beamed as he opened the note finding the following message written in neat cursive:

You are an Angel.

#radiodust #angel x alastor #alastor #angel #oneshot

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alygatorwrites · 3 years

Note

congrats again on 2k aly!! you deserve this and so much more <3 but anywho, now onto my very awkward ✨soulmate application✨ (sfw or nsfw headcanons are okay with me btw!!)

so my name is salem (as you know ofc), my pronouns are she/her n i'm a bisexual taurus who's pretty stubborn, loves cuddles, loves to sleep n generally speaking is just a sensitive ol' homebody! i'm pretty midsized-chubby, 163cm (so...5ft3?) n i have shaggy black hair, brown eyes and super soft hands which are available for holding whenever and wherever! which ties into my love languages which are physical touch n acts of service <3 as for my hobbies, i guess this is obvious but i like to write 😭 n i also really love to cook as well (i'm a great chef, trust me)

okay that should be enough i think?? it's maybe a little too much now that i'm looking at it but hey at least i'm thorough!

♡ 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐨

→ your stubbornness is what would make you stand out to porco. in fact, it's the first thing he notices about you! this man is headstrong with a great deal of iron-will, and meeting someone who is similar in that aspect catches his attention. while this could cause some passionate disagreements, porco respects how loyal you are to your beliefs. he even looks forward to see how long you stick to them. the way you refuse to change an opinion or course of action just because someone says so .... that's what porco loves. it shows that you have an intense passion for things just like he does, and your obstinate determination is actually a turn on sometimes. this would send him through a loop, making that internal monologue go from, "damn, she's annoying," to "it probably wouldn't be bad to know her," and then "yea, i gotta fuck her"

→ physical attraction galore. between your dark hair, brown eyes, and your body, porco thinks you're the sexiest person in the world. you'd be an absolute dream; a perfect a feast for his hands. he's a sucker for chub, and loves how pliant and silky the skin is under every touch. porco has no qualms telling you about how hot you are either. and the way you'd look at him? porco is instantly down bad. the depth your eyes hold is all-consuming, and he'd always be searching for that certain spark in them. if you really want to see his resolve physically crumble, give him 'puppy-dog' eyes. every single time, porco has to turn away and stuff both hands in the pockets of his bomber jacket. he'd probably end up giving you whatever you wanted if he didn't.

→ porco is a scorpio, and you're a taurus — two opposing signs! in the astrological world, this means that you can complement each other perfectly. the complex bond between these zodiacs is full of excitement, snarky fun, and challenge; this leads to an intense emotional connection. because scorpio and taurus have venus as a ruler on one hand, and the passionate element of water on the other, an eternal love is bound to be formed quite easily. it's also known that these signs have high sexual energy. this would make you and porco take part in various sexual encounters and many experiences of physical pleasure to bring you together.

→ porco has a need for security. the good thing is, your sensitivity would allow you to provide that for him!

→ the love language of physical touch would draw porco away from his comfort zone, leading to some amazing character development! you'd really bring the best out of him. it's only natural that his closed-off attitude leaves him touch-starved, which makes you a great fit; once porco indulges himself in gestures that may have otherwise been shrugged off, he'd be hooked. the bastard isn't good with sappy words, so showing it would become a top priority too. his favorite ways to touch you is to run a hand down your arm as you speak, draping an arm behind your head on the couch, or kissing you deeply while cuddling. holding hands is also a must for porco — not just because he enjoys the softness of your fingers — but also because he's very protective. this makes him seek out your affection a lot, whether he realizes it or not (don't bring it up though or he'll get embarrassed!)

→ he’d come to learn the other portion of your love language as well! though he may look disgruntled about it at first, porco will perform little acts of service for you <3 seeing your face light up is worth the knowing looks the others give him. eventually he just starts flicking them off because “fuck them and their stupid faces, i love you, so what? assholes”

→ porco has no problem with curling up on the sofa or on the mattress at any point: as long as it shuts everyone up, he doesn't care. frankly, porco would like your affinity for sleep! he's very adamant on you both sharing a bed together, as being able to wallow in the soft haze of dawn with someone is special to him. listening to your slowed breathing, watching the flutter of your lashes, and cradling you tight is what makes porco's mornings. ask for him to be there while you take a nap, and the man is already on the way.

→ he'd act nonchalant whenever you walked in the room, but don't be fooled. there's a very well-known fact about this man; when his big mouth doesn't say something, his face definitely will. with the way porco's brows raise slightly, and how his frown softens for a second as his gaze settles on you — it's obvious that he's very pleased to be in your presence, no matter how much he tries to keep it a secret.

♡ 𝐧𝐬𝐟𝐰 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

→ porco views sex as three things: a task to pass the time, something to blow off steam, and a way to get you to shut up whenever you piss him off.

→ your bisexuality is fine with porco, and honestly? as long as he still gets to play with you, he wouldn’t mind bringing someone else into the bedroom. pieck, hitch, reiner, zeke — it doesn’t matter. his jealousy would act up, but it would only translate into him fucking you relentlessly once everyone’s gone. porco just needs you to remember that you’re his whore and no one else’s.

→ wanna get him riled up? say you thought he could make you cum better, but make sure to have a wheelchair in transit.

→ porco is a confident, arrogant person, and this definitely shows in the bedroom. he always calls the shots with a wicked smirk on his face. be prepared, because whatever action gets you a writhing mess will become a recurring thing.

→ that black hair of yours is fucking gorgeous to him — especially when it swirls so perfectly around your face — but he wants it out of the way to see the expressions you’re making. expect to have the strands wrestled into porco’s hands and harshly tugged back!!

→ a fast learner, he memorizes your sexual desires and prioritizes them!! he’s still gonna expect some shit in return though. especially blowjobs.

→ with an extremely high libido, porco could pounce on you any time of the day and anywhere. it doesn't matter if the others are planning on coming over; if it were up to him, he'd fuck you on the couch so they'd walk in on it. a meeting? he'd just lean you over the desk. at a party? get ready to have your back blown out in a stall. there's nothing can satisfy porco's constant hunger for you.

→ morning hook ups are a fave!!

→ if he can’t get alone with you because of work, porco becomes all pissy and acts like a dick. he just can’t help it, yknow? when there’s finally an opening in both schedules, he teases you about how much you’ve probably missed his cock and all that. ask him if he’s thought about you in return, and the man denies it on the spot ... but the way you caught him secretly jacking off in the bathroom just moments before speaks VOLUMES!!! 🙄

→ porco always wants your attention on him as he plows into you. close your eyes or don't listen to be stubborn, and he's already forcing you to look at him once more. "what a fuckin joke. you're doing it again," porco usually sneers in these moments, grabbing you by the chin. "babe, hey — salem — look at me." the use of your name works most of the time, and it honestly sets him off; you're just so pliant on his cock <3

#SALEM THANK YOU FOR JOINING 🥺#ilysm 💗💗💞💞 my fave whore!!!!#aly hits a milestone #porco galliard #attack on titan matchup #aot matchup

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asterekmess · 4 years

Text

(I was gonna save this for tomorrow, but FUCK IT) Eyyy, still being salty over here. Pls block the tag ‘rant’ if you don’t wanna see anymore of these. Or maybe ‘anti-scott mccall’ though, tbh, I’m not sure how much fun it would be to follow me if you aren’t anti-scott mccall. I’m pretty vocal abt disliking him.

ANYWAY.

I wanna talk about the concept of Derek being a ‘creeper’ because of all his wandering around the lacrosse field, at lydia’s party, etc. And by talk about, I mean ramble about incoherently. By which I mean, please know that I’m not trying to insult or fight anybody who makes this joke or uses this concept in fic or whatever. I’m just ranting bc I love this boy and his trauma makes me sad.

ANYWAY. (This is insanely long, so I’m adding a “Read More”)

I just have a lot of feelings about people seeing Derek as a stalker/creeper because he keeps showing up at lacrosse practice and in Scott & Stiles’ rooms, etc. It gets mentioned in loads of fics (I see a lot of “Creeperwolf” which I think is supposed to be an endearment?) (And there’s lots of fics that talk about how ‘you used to be/are really creepy, following us around’ Again, not judging) (Dude it’s even a whole tag on AO3 ‘Creeper Derek Hale’) and it’s joked about a lot in fandom (the vine with the ‘every step you take’ song and the swans on the building comes to mind). I see it a lot, and dude, it hurts me.

Let’s look at Derek’s current mental state and what he’s been dealing with, going all the way back to Paige. (Or, tbh, his birth) Derek is a werewolf. He was born a werewolf, to a family of werewolves. He grew up within the supernatural world, in a whole different culture to humans (honestly, my fury at the lack of werewolf culture/history/worldbuilding is worthy of its own post. Let me know if by some ungodly chance, you actually wanna hear my thoughts on it.) and presumably the number one rule in all of werewolfdom is “Keep the Secret.” Now, Derek’s fuckin’ 14/15 (I put his birthday on Christmas, like most of fandom, and if his house burned down when he was 16, in the spring, and he was dating Kate for a while before, he would’ve dated her when he was 15, and we don’t know how long there was between paige and kate, but let’s give him a summer of mourning. So. 14ish with paige) and he starts dating this human. He’s kinda shit at keeping the secret, implying that either he’s only dated werewolves before, or she’s his first girlfriend ever (also implying that maybe some of the people on his basketball team are werewolves, bc they don’t seem to notice his weird way of talking [pack members maybe? fuck, my heart]) and he’s maybe not as careful as he should be. (More implications arise, and we begin to build our own history. If Derek was never taught not to say dumb shit like ‘i caught a scent’ then was he even in public school before freshman year? Were the Hales all homeschooled before high school to help keep the secret? How soon do wolfy abilites arise? Do they hit with puberty? Fuck, I digress.) He says some dumb shit, and Paige gets suspicious. Of course, he doesn’t know that, and he has some kind of meltdown about her eventually finding out his secret. We hear from Peter (who’s villainized, so we’re not supposed to necessarily believe what he says, but what we see in the flashback doesn’t make a huge amount of sense either so *shrug*) that he enlists Ennis to bite Paige, believing that if she is bitten she won’t spill the secret and she’ll be more inclined to accept that Derek is a werewolf. Now, she fucking dies. Paige dies in Derek’s arms because of this, and he finds out at the last second that she already knew the secret. He feels guilty enough abt getting her killed but now he’s got a whole new batch of guilt from finding out that apparently he’s so bad at keeping the secret of his ENTIRE SPECIES that she found out he was a werewolf. She could’ve exposed them all at any time. He had to be terrified. Next, he’s 15/16 and he meets a gorgeous older woman who presumably showers him in affection, and all the horrors that go with that whole situation (I don’t wanna go into detail, because obviously). But again, whether Derek tells her himself or she just knew or she finds out, whatever it is, Kate knows Derek and his family are werewolves. AND SHE KILLS THEM ALL. Derek has no clue what the fuck is going on. All he knows is he is the only link between Kate and his family, which must mean that it’s his fault she knows about them. Once again, he’s revealed the Big Secret and people Died. He and Laura bolt to NY for six years, where presumably they live in hiding thinking the Argents are coming after them to finish off the Hales. Then Laura gets sent a funky letter and goes back to Beacon Hills. Now, we have a lil more confusion (i’ve got a whole buttload of issues with the timeline, but let’s not get into that now) because he says he came looking for Laura, but later he mentions that he knew she was in Beacon Hills and was searching for...whoever burnt down their house...that whole plotline confuses the shit out of me (derek knew kate did it. he blamed All the argents, but he knew kate was involved. So why was Laura looking for the pendant. and if he didn’t tell her then why was he looking for the pendant?? And what did the pendant have to do with the deer and the spiral?? Halp.) but whatever. He shows up and finds his sister dead, the hunters arrive in town the next day, and suddenly there’s an angry alpha Attacking Humans.

We’re finally in the present. Derek has lost what little family he had left, except for a catatonic uncle. He already has two instances in his past where the worry of keeping werewolves a secret has caused deaths. And now there’s this teenager. No, actually, two teenagers. One who was bitten, and one who shouts out “You’re a werewolf!” in the middle of the preserve, instantly figuring out a centuries-old supernatural secret. Derek is fucking terrified, and things are only getting worse. This kid who got bitten? Derek follows him to see if he’s really a wolf, to find out if he knows what’s happening to him, if he believes the other teen. He finds the kid JUMPING OVER PEOPLE’S HEADS in broad daylight in front of everyone. Derek might’ve had a couple verbal giveaways but this is just ridiculous. Then, even better, the kid goes on a date on the FULL MOON with THE YOUNGEST ARGENT. There’s about a billion reasons to follow Scott to the party. It’s a FULL MOON, for one. HE’S WITH AN ARGENT for another. And of course he can’t just walk into the party. He’s fucking 22 for fuck’s sake. This is a high school party. He’d get arrested. And of course he doesn’t introduce himself to Scott beforehand. He has no way of knowing if this kid is on the Alpha’s side. He’s the Alpha’s Beta, it would make perfect sense for him to be obeying the Alpha. OR since he’s with the Argent, maybe he’s working with them. Maybe he’s a plant of some kind. a hunter pet. Laura was used as bait to catch Derek, why not Scott too? But he sees quickly that Allison has no clue what’s going on, at least with Scott, and he takes her home and steals her jacket to lure Scott into the Preserve where he can’t hurt anyone. Then, when he sees Scott get chased by the hunters, with no Alpha coming running to protect him, he decides “Alright, guess this kid’s my ally. Gotta protect him.” Yeah. He says some weird shit. But the evidence points to Derek not knowing much about bitten wolves. He tells Scott that he doesn’t know how to train a bitten wolf, but he does know how to help Scott recover memories (the memory loss appears to only happen in the early days of shifting, which lends more credibility to the possibility that born wolves don’t start shifting properly until later in life [puberty being the most likely milestone] and he therefore has experience with that, but not with the kind of control Scott needs, that he’s known his whole life). Born a werewolf, he’s never considered the bite anything other than a gift. He also just lost his entire family, so sue him for trying to find some kind of connection between them. (It honestly makes total sense for him to use the term ‘brothers’ bc he KNOWs Scott won’t understand the concept of ‘pack’ yet) So, now that’s decided to help Scott, to protect him, he goes back to the school. SURELY now that Scott knows what he is and how dangerous he is when stressed, he’ll reign himself in during lacrosse, or even just back out of it altogether. There are lives at stake here, be them human, or if Scott exposes the secret, werewolves. SURELY this kid wouldn’t put everyone in danger over a fucking game. But no. Not only does he keep flaunting his abilities, but he SHIFTS ON THE FIELD. If Stiles hadn’t Dragged Scott out of there, the entire supernatural world would be EXPOSED by this ONE KID. Derek passed Terrified about a hundred miles back. He’s gotta be fucking out of his mind with fear. I don’t blame him even a little for threatening Scott. If Scott’s not gonna do the right thing on his own, then threatening him is worth it if people don’t DIE. Then, bc Scott’s a pissy baby and goes to shout at him and be a fuckwad, and Stiles is nosey and neither of them have boundaries (I love Stiles, but fucking seriously, digging up a grave?) Derek gets ARRESTED. He pleads with this lanky teen who is brave enough to climb into the cruiser with a WEREWOLF. Who’s FRiends with a Werewolf. Who figured it out so quickly. He pleads with him to understand how dangerous this is, to stop his friend. And Stiles looks like he’s gonna, but Scott bolts bc of the wolfsbane (Which...listen if I’m being really salty, a deep bitter part of me genuinely wonders if he was that freaked out, or if he overheard Derek beg Stiles not to let Scott play, and Scott ran away from Stiles so he wouldn’t get told no, bc he wanted to play.) and by the time Stiles finds him he’s already dressed for the game. And DEREK WAS RIGHT. Scott DID lose control. He DID shift on the field. At LEAST one human saw him shift, and the coach for the other team knew something was up too. He DID expose them, and he did it further bc Jackson is suspicious now. Now, I’ve reblogged a gifset of it before, the moment when Derek shows up at the lacrosse field and finds Jackson standing in it after Scott’s run off, staring at a glove with a claw hole in it. He is watching his worst nightmare come true. Scott has exposed them and Jackson is going to figure out werewolves, just like Stiles did. He knows right that instant that people are going to die. I’ll reiterate what I said in the tags on that gifset. It’s extremely likely that Derek bit Jackson out of self-preservation. Jackson had been threatening to tell the hunters and the entire world if he didn’t get what he wanted. The safest thing to do was give Jackson the bite so that at least he would be putting himself in danger too if he exposed werewolves. He forced Jackson to have to keep the secret for himself because he knew Jackson wouldn’t do it for anyone else. (And he knew Jackson had some self-preservation, compared to Scott, and wouldn’t want to expose himself.)

Listen, I just. I just get so sad watching Derek sneaking into people’s rooms and standing on the edge of the field and showing up in the locker rooms. He’s trying to help. He’s trying to protect. He wants to be there in case Scott does something stupid (which he does, again and Again) to protect him, even after Scott REFUSED to help him stop a SERIAL KILLER because there wasn’t anything in it for him. Even after Scott fucking blackmails him by leaving him hanging on a grate with wires plugged into his side and his abuser on their way back to hurt him, he still helps him protect Allison (who watched him be tortured and did nothing. [He still has the capacity to acknowledge that it’s not her fault. That she couldn’t save him. He doesn’t blame her for it and he certainly doesn’t want her to die.]) He wants to keep his Betas safe. He stands in the parking lot waiting for them to test Lydia because he doesn’t want them to have to go through with killing her alone (and he only tries to kill her because she DOESN’T pass the test [although I admit it’s a dumb test] and because the kanima is KILLING people. More people have died and I don’t know how the fuck Derek manages to keep standing, let alone having such capacity for empathy and optimism and sarcasm after everything he’s dealt with. He’s constantly being hunted by hunters or humans, or fuck even Scott himself, since every time Scott gets upset he blames Derek for everything (I’m still fucking disgusted that he turned up at Derek’s place and accused him of murdering his own sister.) And STILL he shows up. No matter how many times he’s shoved away and ignored and yelled at. He shows up and he stands on the fringes and he waits for the chance to help.

And what’s creepy about that?

#personal #rant #Fuck i love Derek and I'm so fucking sad #i have a lot of feelings okay?#like I said #i'm not judging people who use the concept in fics or who make the jokes or whatever #i'm just talking about my own feelings #anti-scott mccall #Meta Ramblings

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felswritingfire · 4 years

Note

Could we get nyarlthotep sfw/nsfw senarios? Maybe with a male reader if that's ok?

Bro, I have such a love/hate relationship and he’s one of the only characters I can say has enigma energy (also of course it’s alright if the reader is male, we stan Male Reader rights dammit)

Dating Nyarlathotep

SFW

Where do I even begin with this guy-

When Nyarl has a thing for you, it is the most obvious yet not obvious thing in the world; he’ll crank up the teasing to a solid 20 and then glue himself to your side, running random touches along your spine or brushing his claws against your hip, and then all of a sudden he’s gone and it’s a whole week before he pops up again. And this continues for a good three months, progressively gets more touchy and the periods he’s gone get more sporadic, until either A) you get fed up and confront him about it or B) you begin to give him a taste of his own medicine (AKA avoid the asshole and keep him from touching you)

Which, either way, both scenarios play into Nyarl’s grubby little claws

The A) option would be one where he would lean against a wall/back of the chair while you go off on him. All the while having an infuriatingly easy going smile for you tearing into him; you don’t know if he’s listening and it is pissing you off. In actuality he is, but he doesn’t want you to know that, you’re cute when you’re mad, my guy. So, he’ll just sit there staring at you with half lidded eyes, letting you blow off some steam before he presses a finger against your lips and gives you some bedroom eyes and, it’s up to you whether or not you’re gonna have the do right then and there, but he knows he got you hook, line, and sinker

If the scenario is the B) option, he’ll amp his bullshit up so inconceivably high. He’ll begin to purposely leave risqué touches on your person: he’ll brush his hand against your lower back, maybe even hook his fingers in the back pockets of your pants just so he can drag you back against him, he’ll start resting his face in the crook of your neck (whether your standing or sitting for him to be able to do this) brushing his mouth just close enough to the shell of your ear for you to shiver- and if you’re trying to avoid all his touches to get back at him? Hoooo, boy, good luck;

He’ll get a little pissy at this because he wants to see your reaction (RIP you if you get flustered really easily). So, he’ll begin to corner you, or catch you in the most crowded places just so he has an excuse to press into you from behind. At these points, especially if you’re stuck in a very crowded place like, let’s say for example, a subway train (👀👀), he’ll press up against your back while slipping his hands over your thighs and up to your stomach before going back down to the dip of your hips and pressing you harder against him. And you bet your ass that any movement or- ahem- subtle pressure to your ass is just the sway of the train. He’ll chatter away like nothing too and it is bullshit. He’s an asshole in the fact that he’ll make you two stand like that until the ride is over

Once a relationship gets going between you two, you’re honestly surprised to find out how loyal he actually is- he’s uber loyal, but he doesn’t expect the same level of loyalty out of you? Like, just, he knows that you’ll find other people attractive and he understands you might… you know- want to pursue some sort of sexual interest with them (So, he doesn’t mean you’re a cheater, just that, people are hot and he’s leaving it open on your side)-

Which is either super insulting or super sad to you, it’s up to you. He mentions a lot (in his own way) that he’s fine if you go off and have a one night stand with someone else, but he’ll get all serious all of a sudden and it is terrifying because he’ll suddenly hover two inches away from your face with that bitchy look he gets when he’s salty about something and straight up be like: “don’t make it a thing though.”

And he’ll go back to laughing and joking with you like nothing happened- What the fuck, Nyarl?????

Please don’t “cheat” on him tho, it takes a lot for him to even care enough about someone to be a little less of an asshole to them let alone get into a relationship with them. So, he’s pretty attached to you

He doesn’t really believe in the concept of love, but after you two have been together for so long- you’re the closest thing that he’s getting to love, dude, and he kinda hates it???? It’s all fuzzy and he’s warm inside and if you get sad? And it’s his fault? Insta death.

But he likes you too much to let you go, so, aw well, guess he can put up with it

Surprisingly, a possessive boy- he doesn’t like people talking to you for long periods of time and he’ll get salty if you seem like you’re having more fun with one of your friends then you do when you’re with him; just give him a lot of cuddles and smooches when you get home and he’ll forgive you immediately as he wraps you up in a big ol’ bear hug with his arms and his weird tail hand things will totally join in and wrap themselves around whatever they can grab, which is a really cute gesture that can become awkward really fast depending where they decide to grab

SPEAKING OF HIS WEIRD ASS TAIL HANDS- you’ll have to deal with them having semi-sentience and seeking you out whenever they can and witnessing Nyarl legitimately yell at them over it

It’s so surreal- and honestly, you’re with Nyarl, you should have accepted this by now but- to see him grab his tail in a choke hold and bring up the hands to his face as he tells them to knock it off and then one just reels back and slaps him across his snout, which instigates him slapping the hand back, and they start having an elementary school level slapping fight until one of them hit the other too hard and they’re making grabby hands for you because they got hurt-

And then you gotta kiss their boo-boos

Also RIP your ass’ personal safety because those hands like to grab it and you’ve almost died a couple of times because they do it out of nowhere

Nyarl will kiss you spontaneously and out of nowhere. There is no preparing for his smooches they just come and go like the wind

Though he does give you a lot of pecks, his favorite types of kisses are french kisses because he likes it nasty

Since he is passionate about his work you’ll have to remind him to eat and drink water and take breaks because he gets wrapped up in his work a lot- which he really appreciates and if you do the same thing, then you bet your ass that he’ll get you to take breaks because he refuses to let go of you as he hugs and showers you in kisses- at those times it’s soft Nyarl hours

He has no understandings of personal space so he’ll just… always be in your bubble and you have to really convince him to get out of it if you need some space

If you two ever get in a fight, Nyarl is literally the worst person about it because, not only is he petty, but he’s also, well, Nyarl- so he’ll definitely come off as he’s not caring what’s made you upset by keeping that easy grin on his face and shooting off into crazy ass tangents, but that’s his way of trying to lighten the mood, which has mix results depending how important the topic is to you

He’ll get serious the more the argument drags on and how emotional you’re getting about it

Off of those topics, his ideal date is taking you to a club, but one that’s super fancy and has a VIP floor so you two can dance and be in each others presence and chat while feeling the bass of the music

When Nyarl gets jealous he becomes more sporadic than he already is. Which is a sight to behold because a majority of the time he’ll somehow cause the conversation to steer back to the person and cause them to put their foot in their mouth. But if he ends up encountering that one person that can actually keep up with his mind games, he’s not above just warping their ass somewhere- which you’ve gotten mad at him before about, because oh my lord, Nyarl, you can’t just do that-

Dating him means that you’re going to be listening to music 25/8, he likes all genres but when he’s at home, he prefers chill, atmospheric music like Lo-Fi

NSFW

AMAB USED

(Dom Nyarlothotep)

Subs rejoice! For this man (hyena???) is a Switch leaning Dom! So, he’ll definitely be taking over when you both first have sex

He’s a tad aggressive about it since he’s super eager to get at it, so if it’s your first time, you’ll have to remind him to slow down- which he will, but you’ll have to remind him periodically

This is one of the times where he doesn’t get all pissy with his tails for just grabbing you- they like to grip at your thighs the most and if, he’s laying on top of you, they’ll be caressing your sides and fondling anything that they could get their hands on

He’ll also use them to keep your legs open if you get embarrassed and try to close them because this boy likes to S T A R E at your erection standing proud, he gets a weird trip from it, like yeah, he did that to you (but that’s if you’re in a place where you can be on your back without someone just walking in on you two)

He’s a mega tease, especially out in public, so he’ll drag you into an alleyway and push you against the wall and press his body hard against you (no matter if you’re taller or shorter than him) he’ll run his tongue over your neck and the shell of your ear, scraping his canines against the hollow of your neck as he grinds against your erection through your jeans. He’ll make sure you can hear the low groans he’s letting out as he rolls his hips, grabbing your ass in his hands to bring you flush against his hips. He’ll start whispering filthy words into your ear, riling you up as you grab against him and bite your lip to get from making noise

He’s really good at giving oral

If he gives you a blow job, you’re gonna be blissed out by the end of it. He has a long tongue so he’ll start just under the head of it, before he moves to cover the tip of it and lap at the slit with the tip of his tongue, then he’ll bring you into his mouth, mindful of his teeth, but he isn’t above scraping them against your shaft. He doesn’t really have a gag reflex so he has no problem taking you all the way into his throat while he bobs his head while he sucks you off. He’ll also utilize his hands and play with your balls while he sucks you off

When he gives a rim job HE GOES O F F

So, get ready to hold on fam, because you’re in for a ride. He’ll have you put your ass up while he’s nipping at the meat of your ass before he begins to use the flat of his tongue to lave long licks over your twitching hole; soon he’s pressing his tongue into you and groaning at the way you taste on his tongue

When he’s fingering you, he’s mindful of his claws, but he has a tendency to… scare you??? It’s not even that he means it (or so you hope) he just goes f a s t, so sometimes he’ll push against you and you’ll feel them brush a tad to close for comfort on the walls of your ass, but he’ll make you forget about it real quick because, you don’t know what type of fancy fingers this bitch has but he finds your prostate in a snap. And he’ll focus on it because he likes seeing how much of a mess you become when he does-

He’s also extremely thorough about his fingering, so expect to cum at least once from it

When he’s finally going to press his dick into you, he’s really talkative, even if that talkative is just him whispering filth into your ear, and he’ll rub his tip against the rim of your asshole before he presses into you and sheathes in one thrust (hence why he stretches you so thoroughly)

He’s very vocal in general, a lot of low grunts and moans if your doing some good old exobistionism, but in the privacy and the comfort of your own home, you’d think that you were getting fucked by a porn star: loud moans, extremely talkative, cursing galore, groans, whimpers- the whole shabang

If you have a vocal kink RIP you, bro, because he uses it to his advantage

When he’s topping, his favorite positions are either: pressing your face to the wall while he has a death grip on your hips or doggy style. He has a bit of a dom/sub kink in him

He B I T E S. Really hard. So, if you need him to real it in, he’ll try, but no promises

I suggest a safe word in general tbh

Also, after he cums in you, and if you guys didn’t use protection, he likes to watch it dribble out of you and then clean up with his tongue, so, just watch out for that

(Sub Nyarlathotep)

It takes… a bit of convincing for Nyarl to be the sub

He likes the high he gets off of domming, but, since he likes you so much, he’ll let you top

He’s a pretty big pillow princess tho, so he’ll definitely act like a brat

You know when I mentioned that he’s really loud as a dom? Well, he’s even louder as a sub

If you give him a blowjob he’ll be really vocal about it and it’s one of the few times that you’ll hear him stutter, especially if you deepthroat him. He will be in bliss, and pray you got a good grip on his hips because he’ll thrust into your throat if you don’t watch it

Nyarl is incredibly neutral on rim jobs but he won’t say no to one

He’ll probably be giggling the entire time as he presses against your mouth. He likes his taint being licked at though

Fingering Nyarl is a fun thing to do because he straight up will buck his hips so hard on your fingers that he’s basically fucking himself on them. He has no chill

He likes positions where he’s still on top despite being penetrated, so, think cowgirl/reverse cowgirl; he feels much more comfortable about being in control of the pace and how hard the sex is

When you do penetrate him, he’ll let out a long moan that turns into a growl and he might overwhelm you a bit as he just starts bouncing on you. But, you get to watch the concentrated face he makes as he works himself up and down on your shaft

He still bites as a sub

So, again, safe word

(After Sex)

Nyarl has a tendency to just know out after sex

So it’s kinda up to you to initiate aftercare, which he’ll find very sweet if you do and will probably tease you for it, but he won’t complain

He is all up for cuddles though, he likes being little spoon, and on the off chance he has enough energy to talk, he’ll have some pillow talk with you

He’ll probably just hum as you whisper to him, but he’ll put a few words in here and there

After sex Nyarl is just compleletly different to normal Nyarl because he got out a lot of that pent up energy he has. He’s actually really cute like this???

He adopts a whole baby enigma energy when he drifts to sleep in your arms

#sfw #n/s/f/w #tokyo afterschool summoners #housamo #housamo imagine #nyarlathotep #male reader #x reader #headcanons

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