#he’s got an alt mode that’s really not that good at least compared to others and yet he’s still leader

[quibbs126]

Okay but can we talk about how g1 Megatron’s alt mode is just objectively kind of shit?

I mean yeah, turning into a gun is cool I guess, but logistically

It’s a relatively small gun (at least in Transformers proportions, it’s probably pretty big to a human) that needs someone else to fire

For starters, this alt mode is completely useless transport wise, because it cannot move on its own, he needs someone else to carry him (though it is small, so it wouldn’t be too difficult). So it doesn’t even serve a function of more efficient movement

Second, as previously mentioned, it requires someone else to use; as far as I’m aware, he can’t fire on his own. And considering these are the Decepticons, the range of people he can trust with it is probably limited (even if Starscream of all people is allowed to use it). But it also means that if he’s alone, his alt mode is entirely useless, if not a hindrance

And the cherry on top of all of this is that in his robot mode, he already has a cannon on his arm. One that’s bigger and honestly probably just as, if not more effective than his alt mode

Like at that point, if you can’t change your alt mode, you’re probably just better off staying robot mode permanently. Thankfully for Megatron, his robot mode is more than capable of packing a punch on its own. Maybe there’s instances where gun mode could be useful, but it’s really more trouble than it’s worth

And yeah you could say Soundwave falls into some of these issues being a cassette player, but for one thing, his alt mode has sound powers he can use as a weapon, and he’s also the communications and intelligence officer, so it’s not as necessary for his alt mode to be as combat effective as possible

[brandwhorestarscream]

tfe tarantulas x tfe prowl

We don't know a lot (read: anything) about TFE Prowl, so I'm gonna improvise and say he's mostly true to his G1 iteration, if a bit more jaded and tired. He hasn't seen Tarantulas in Primus knows how long, probably several million years in a non-war context. We don't even know what happened to spider dad. Last we saw he was getting chased by GHOST trying to protect owl baby.

So I'm gonna say they're both on the run and run into each other while siphoning energy to make their own energon on the go. Prowl wasn't willing to work with GHOST or with Megatron, so he split and is now quietly in hiding. It's lonely, and the isolation is starting to get to him. He runs smack into his old flame (who's still hot). Neither of them want to fight, they're just trying to live and not be dragged off to be experimented on. One thing leads to another and they end up living together. They're both introverted hermits. They're perfect roommates lol

It's not long before they start casually facing, and soon after old feelings start to creep back in. It's hard not to, there's just. There's so much history there. Maybe this time, in this context, their relationship isn't doomed to fail. They're both bad at feelings and intimate communication but... they're trying.

I think, after the brief encounter with Nightshade, Tarantulas has caught a bit of baby fever. He's not actively planning it, god no, but he catches himself fondly recalling Nightshade and missing them. Thinking how nice it was to have them around, how they were so bright and full of potential and how good it felt to have an eager little student he could teach. He knew them for such a short time but he was and still is so proud of them. He wants that again. Craves it. And I think, with this desire, his body acts on it's own. Starts storing transfluid rather than filtering it out, dutifully filling his gestation tank to prepare for the newspark he clearly wants so badly.

It's not too long, maybe a year, before Prowl notices his partner acting strangely. He's getting weirdly moody and snappy, he's been spending more and more time in alt mode, and he's gotten strangely territorial. Often hissing at Prowl and stomping his front legs at him, guarding the door to his room (they've got an underground burrow-hideout thing). Even doing little faux charges at him to keep him back. Inwardly, he sighs: Tarantulas's psyche and instincts adapted and evolved quite a bit when he took this form. This is some kind of strange arachnid behavior and he's not sure what it is, but surely it will eventually pass, right?

Tarantulas starts guzzling all the fuel they have, gulping down cube after cube with hardly a breath between. Prowl's never seen someone binge like that and he's worried he's going to rupture his fuel tank! Tries to get him to stop and talk to him, and Tarantulas nearly bites him in turn. Promptly scuttles back into his room and begins webbing up the door. Prowl is at a loss.

Inside, Tarantulas has made so many webs there's hardly a clean surface left, and he's made himself a collection of hammocks strung up in corners and on the walls, everywhere he can reach. There's at least a dozen web slings, he has to have the perfect one!

Unlike organic tarantulas, he lays only 3 eggs rather than dozens. They're much bigger compared to his body though, and he very, very carefully wraps them up in an egg sac and nestles it in the warmest, safest spot of his nest. He then promptly collapses and knocks out for like 16 hours, because labor is a lot of work!

When he finally wakes up he's sore and still exhausted, but now his head is clear from the egg-haze and realizes he should probably-definitely talk to Prowl. He's... really nervous, honestly. It's not like they're bonded. The autobot could just walk out and there's nothing he could do to really stop him short of restraining and holding him captive. But that's an option he's really not interested in.

Prowl isn't surprised at all. He found a forum of spider enthusiasts on earth, plugged in all the symptoms, and basically got the response of "your girl is about to become a mama good luck lol" and he spent the last 16 hours frantically researching everything he possibly could. He knows plenty about newspark care but very little about spiders and he has no idea exactly how much of their biology Tarantulas wrote into his new alt mode when he was designing it, so he wants to be as prepared as possible. He lets Tarantulas break the news and his first question is just, "How many are there?" really hoping the answer won't be 20+ because that's a lot of mouths to feed. He's so relieved when it's only triplets. That's far more manageable.

The sparklings incubate for a few weeks in their eggs and it gives the expectant parents a bit of time to prepare, stockpiling fuel and making space and contingency plans for them. They already have escape plans if GHOSTs' hunters find them, but having bitties changes the game. Their survival becomes the top priority, and they have to make hard decisions about who will escape with them and how, who will have a better chance at keeping them safe and alive if or when they have to relocate.

Watching them hatch is an exciting ordeal, and they're all thankfully healthy: a little purple and white one, another that's black and green, the final one white and deep blue. Idk if Tarantulas was able to alter his very CNA when he changed his mode (usually that doesn't happen, but he's such a mad scientist he could theoretically have done so). If he did, at least one is a tiny spiderling. If not, then one has Prowl's original praxian alt mode, and the other two have their carrier's original mode, whatever that may be.

The triplets are just darling, painfully cute and very affectionate, tumbling out of their eggs and immediately reaching for their carrier and sire. They're good parents, all things considered, taking turns going on energon runs and making life underground as bright and fulfilling as possible for their children. They already have the whole... thing... with Springer, so parenthood isn't exactly new to them. They know what they're doing, for the most part, but juggling 3 at once is definitely more challenging! Tarantulas at least has extra limbs and webs to wrangle them, but they run poor Prowl ragged! He loves them so, so much though, and never complains.

Tarantulas would probably love to introduce them to Nightshade, someday, but I don't realistically know if that will be possible. Maybe, after GHOST is defeated, the little family decides to take a trip to see Tarantulas' little owlet 🤭 Nightshade would be all over them, and over the moon when spider dad asks them to be their honorary godsibling. I'd love to see the terrans babysitting while their parents are doing god knows what. Nightshade probably ferries them around the lab and tries to teach them Science™. Taraprowl are so proud :')

[maxwell-grant]

any thoughts on the game awards street fighter trailer?

Not too many but a few, the game's got a loooot of content to cover and I'll stick with mostly some character impressions

Dee Jay! I have never been happier to see Dee Jay! ...I've never usually been happy to see Dee Jay, granted, but this redesign is really all that was needed for me to unreservedly love the dude, it does away with the biggest problem with him that was his basic and kinda-racist design (the new art style also helps a lot). It's such an upgrade in terms of his style and vibe and conveying the kickboxing DJ concept. He looks like someone I'd find at Mongaguá beach if I went down there tomorrow, drumming away and living his best life. I'm so happy for this dude.

I like that they opened the trailer with him, with a club party and him dancing along with the protagonist. LOVE the music notes on his new Super, love his new animations and that camera autograph victory pose, love the sparkles and ways they've incorporated his old moves (he's got a Sonic Boom fakeout and, as obnoxious as that's gonna be to deal with, it's a pretty brilliant choice and one that fits him superbly)

Love that the new minigames, I mean of course they brought the basketball parry, and I'm sure the car destruction's gonna be real fun as always, but I'm surprised they dug back that far and brought some things we haven't seen since Street Fighter 1.

I think it's really remarkable that, for the trailer shown at The Game Awards of all things, they chose to focus on the return of, arguably the least popular of the New Challengers, and three new characters. Everyone assumed it was a dead giveaway that this was gonna be the Cammy trailer and the fact that it wasn't, and that people still absolutely loved it without complaints, man, what a testament to how confident these guys are in what they're doing. I have never seen a Street Fighter title be this brazen in it's new faces in the trailer period, I've never seen one where EVERY new character or return of an old character, without exception is incredibly popular and well-received.

I'm not too big on Manon? I do like her but she's probably my least favorite as of yet, feels a little more gimmicky than the others and I kinda wonder if she wasn't some SFV concept that they held off on (in fact I'm pretty sure I remember seeing some characters like her on the drafts for Kolin and Menat). She's definitely filling a much-needed niche as the agile pseudo-grappler and, those months of dance training I took for music theater definitely give me a greater appreciation for her animations and pose work.

She's been compared with Abel a lot but I kinda feel like she's a response to Shermie? Definitely with her alt costume. Capcom and SNK riff on each other all the time and I do wonder if someone in the SF6 dev team saw that KOF XV Shermie trailer a couple years back that got the biggest viewcount of all the characters and thought to themselves, hey why don't we have our own sexy French fashionista grappler lady, and that's how Manon was born.

Oh GOD, Marisa, the standout of the trailer to me. I was hooked from the design alone but that trailer, good God, what a character. Everyone thought she'd be a grappler but no, she's just a tank, absolute beast mode woman who just bulldozes through whatever puny shit you do to repaint the pavement with your face. I get stupid looking at this character, what a glorious addition to the Giants Club of Street Fighter characters.

SHE LIFTS LIONS LIKE KITTIES, living the dream.

She might have some ties to the Illuminati characters? I’m curious if she’s gonna be a villain or anti-hero or on the “just here to fight good” alignment, I’m cool with all of these.

She’s Zangief-size and built for it and we’ve NEVER seen a female character be depicted like this in a fighting game. Every other “big girl” people point to in these games is pretty much always some fitness model with, at best, muscle definition in the arms but a typically thin stomach and torso, identically-attractive to all the other female characters but slightly more ripped.

You never see women characters built the way Marisa is, You just don’t see muscular women depicted often (if at all) outside of either someone’s fetish or someone’s punchline. Fighting games have a marginally better track record with body type diversity than other game genres but still an incredibly, painfully limited one when it comes to women, who are given like two body types to work with and no one would be able to tell 80% of them apart in either type if they switched acessories.

I am supremely glad over the fact that this is a SF6 character just now making her debut, because if Marisa had debuted at any prior installment in the series I do not think she would have been allowed to be this way. If she was in the 2/Alpha/3 titles, there is no way she'd have been given such an unapologetically burly design, and if she was a IV/V character, she'd be most certainly some kind of awful joke they’d have to rework later.

I love that Marisa is a bruiser, that she’s got an rowdy attitude and might even be a villain, but that she’s not fucking Abigail (...I mean maybe she IS fucking Abigail, I don’t know her life, if anyone could do it it’s her but why would anyone want that tho), that she’s allowed to be so cool. I have nothing but praise for this character so far and I really wanna see how her story unfolds and also I NEED TO PLAY THIS.

I main Big Lads in fighting games and I main all the Big Lads in Street Fighter and now I need to main The Big Lass, I need to land that glorious counter of hers ASAP, I need to Sparta Kick my way through matches, this character has my playstyle written over her and I need this game to be out now damnit

I’m sure he was a nice guy and obviously not saying he was the sole cause of everything, but every step of this development process I’ve been thanking my stars that Ono quit the team, we are so unbelievably lucky

While I was holding out some hopes that Capcom would make the final boss a woman this time around (especially with all the new characters being so great that this wouldn’t be a worrying prospect), I was also very curious for JP and I’m really excited with how he’s turned out.

He definitely feels like they took their time connecting a whole lot of separate design ideas and undercurrents into a single character to carry them. He is a rich fighting dandy, a modern equivalent to Dudley and Eagle (Eagle in particular since he was the first weapon user in the series). Some have brought up comparisons between him and Rugal Bernstein, which makes a lot of sense as a character to emulate if you’re doing a Final Boss who’s supposed to be like Bison but different, a next evolution of Bison and his power, since that’s kinda what Rugal was, the next evolution of the Fighting Game Final Boss after Bison and Geese.

Like Ed and Falke, he’s another new character who wields Psycho Power and has mysterious connections to Bison, except he doesn’t suck. He’s got a fantasy wizard vibe and his single-letter name and style seems to imply some sort of connection to G, another powerful fighting wizard dressing and behaving like authority figure, and by far the standout character of V.

G was also said to be the Final Boss of SFV, a position I do think he was qualified for but never really fulfilled because, I don’t think he was supposed to be that entirely, I think they retroactively made him the Boss when Necalli proved to be a dud and the story mode revolved around Bison but they still needed someone who could be the V Boss for assorted reasons.

I think JP is kind of them taking that idea, of G as a Final Boss and important character in the storyline, and sort of doing it right this time around, as he also follows that theme of succession they’ve been doing with these bosses: Emperor/King (Sagat) - Dictator (Bison) - Cult Leader Messiah (Gill) - C.E.O (Seth) - President (G) - N.G.O Oligarch (JP)

He hits such an absurd amount of my aesthetic and conceptual tastes that I, almost don’t believe he’s real? He’s Bison 2 + Eagle + Rugal + G. He’s a Russian supervillain with a dapper red suit vest, gloves reminiscent of black claws, a wonderful mustache and beard combo, and he fights with a cane. He’s got a killer design I absolutely need to take a crack at cosplaying after the game is out.

He has a cat, a detail deemed important enough to go in his bio. He’s voiced by Wally Wingert and Tomokazu Sugita, two people I could watch in anything. He’s got a sick fighting style summoning portals and claws and spike energy spires and one of the most murderous supers in the game yet.

He’s Christopher Lee as a Street Fighter final boss. Can you blame me for thinking more and more that this game is made for me?

[kithtaehyung]

Last November (M)

title: last november (m) post date: december 14th, 2020, 8pm est  ⤷ revamped/extended: march 27th, 2021, 10pm est pairing: seokjin x reader(f) genre: angst, smut, exes to lovers au summary: you two broke up on good terms. even seeing each other on your friends’ yearly end-of-november trip was never awkward. so why did this trip feel so different? and why does it feel like the end of something that wasn’t even there in the first place? warnings: angst, bad puns and jokes, mutual pining, light dom/sub undertones, oral sex (m/f receiving), nipple play, hair-pulling, choking, rough sex, unprotected sex (pls be responsible!), dirty talk, spanking, creampie, seokjin is a consent king, did i say angst?, did i also say bad puns and jokes? mobile users: alt link if this doesn’t open in tumblr ➛ AO3 word count: 23.7k 24.7k !!

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On the last Friday of every November, your group of friends piled into two cars and set off into the mountains. 

Ever since you all graduated from high school years ago, everyone branched off into their individual, intricate walks of life. Different towns, different jobs, different social circles. 

But before those grand adventures started, each of you promised one thing: a yearly trip to keep the friendship alive.

This time around, you happened to be in the “decidedly more fun” car as Jimin, Taehyung, and your longtime friend Rin jammed the backseat with singing and road trip games. Since Seokjin took driver, you claimed navigator, leaving the front of the vehicle a bit muted compared to the other half. Which was fine - you always loved relaxing on the sidelines while your friends played with chaos and hilarity. 

Namjoon kept you company from time to time, too, so you weren’t completely alone in your preferred space.  

The only thing that could’ve made the ride awkward was if you and Seokjin were on bad terms. 

It wasn’t every day you found yourself sitting beside your ex, after all. 

But that simple fact didn’t phase you. The truth was that your breakup was clean and painless - a massive relief to your friends. Back then, it would have torn everyone to pieces picking sides. 

The split was so organic that you couldn’t recall an awful reason why it happened. Separation proved as natural as the changing of seasons: you had moved away for university and he powered through his own medical pursuits. Over time, the relationship simmered to a text every few days, resulting in the night in which you decided that it was better to remain friends.

What sucked was the fact that, over the course of time after the breakup, you fell for Seokjin. Annoying, charming, incredible Seokjin. 

You didn’t come to terms with it until last November, when you watched his eyes sparkle under an indigo ocean of stars and it just clicked. Agony carved into your heart some nights when you thought about nothing else, but you couldn’t admit your feelings. Not when you two decided that your river had run its course. You couldn’t risk smothering the last embers of your relationship, so radio silence remained your lonely swan song. 

Of course you wanted to admit it. You wanted to tell him. Because no matter who came after, they all fell short. Every smile flashed your way, every pair of arms wrapped around your torso, every night spent between the sheets. Nothing compared to what you got from Jin. That man created a hole in your heart that lingered in his wake, a hole through which all of your subsequent relationships plummeted. 

The truth was simple: you didn’t want to ruin what you had. Even if what you two would always be was just friends, that endgame was enough for you.

At least, that’s what you told yourself. Every night when you couldn’t sleep, and every morning when you woke up to an empty bed.

Your vision snapped into focus as your phone screen bloomed. The maps app signaled for a turn, so you relayed the direction to Seokjin, who repeated the direction out loud before following through.

Just like always.

The road in front of you melted into a different scene entirely as you recalled why he started that habit. It sprouted from one of your car rides to a diner situated on the other side of your hometown. 

During the drive, you did your best as navigator, but your boyfriend was so into the music playing that he missed some turns. One errant right later had you both terribly lost, the surrounding area swallowing the car in darkness. On instinct, you dove into defense mode, trying and failing not to outright panic.

“My maps won’t load,” you stuttered, hitting the screen with your finger, “Shit, shit, shit.”

“Don’t worry, I can just—”

“Don’t tell me not to worry,” you bit out. “Let’s just get out of here.” You hated how pure paranoia pricked at the corners of your eyes. Getting lost was completely irksome and going back home was more appealing to you than moving forward with the date. 

“Okay. I won’t,” Seokjin assured you, turning the wheel and rolling the car out from the shadowy street. “How can I help instead?”

“Oh, umm.” With grateful eyes, you stared at your boyfriend and admired his consideration. You’ve never been asked that while upset before. “You could, uh, repeat the directions before following them? That might help.” 

His lips curved into a smile, and streetlights flooded the car to bathe his sincerity in a warm glow. “Repeat directions, you got it.”

The memory faded as you blinked and observed the endless mountain range enveloping the road. Snow topped the summits in white caps; coniferous trees swallowed the steep slopes. As if reminiscence clogged your ears, the music in the car seemed louder outside your broken reverie. 

Taehyung, as always, took charge of the aux. He usually had an eclectic mix of tunes on rotation but, that time, nothing but upbeat Christmas music was queued. You had to admit: merry music coating the car windows and mountainous scenery claiming your entire vision put you in the best mood. 

It was even better when Seokjin sang along. You really did like his singing voice. 

“I like my singing voice, too.” 

Your eyes snapped toward the driver, expression freezing over as you drank in his delight. Did you really say that out loud? You knew Seokjin enough to know that he was never going to let that go. 

“Yeah, well…” You lazily swatted his grin away. “Don’t flatter yourself.” 

Seokjin chuckled, his hands comfortably resting on the wheel. “Are you offering to do that for me? It’s minimum wage, but I’d hire you.”

Rolling your eyes felt like the only appropriate response, so you did exactly that, your exasperated gaze looping around to land on your phone. “Relish this moment, Seokjin,” you advised, zooming out in the maps app to make sure you were still heading in the right direction, “Because it won’t happen again. And take the next exit. We’re almost there.” 

“Yes, yes, next exit.” You missed the smirk on his face as he scanned the roadside for the telltale sign. “Moment relished,” he quipped, “But I prefer my moments with ketchup and mustard.” 

Your groan drowned in his boisterous laughter, but the hand on your face betrayed you since it couldn’t quite cover up the glee that formed right after. 

An hour later, everyone had unloaded the vehicles at the campgrounds and pitched the tents. While Hoseok and Jungkook worked on starting the fire pit, Namjoon and Jimin took their time organizing the food and snacks. Rin had disappeared with Taehyung somewhere, but Yoongi said he spotted them taking pictures a ways off. 

“They should be helping,” he muttered. “There’s a lot to do before it gets dark out.” 

Squatting down to rotate sizzling meat on your portable grill, you waved him off. “They’re shot-swapping since it’s golden hour.” 

The silence that followed gave you pause. When you looked up in curiosity, Seokjin and Yoongi regarded you like a foreign language coated your tongue, their struggle to decipher it earning a chuckle of pity. 

“They’re both huge influencers, so they know how to take pictures. They always do this when we get together,” you explained, spinning the kebab onto another side, “And golden hour is around sunrise and sunset. It looks like everything is soaked in gold, and it makes your pictures look pretty. But that’s an old term already! You geezers should keep up.” 

Yoongi simply raised an eyebrow and kneeled to turn his designated stick. Smoke from the charred meat wafted into your noses as he declined, “I’ll pass. That sounds stressful.” 

A rapid clapping of tongs next to your ear preceded Seokjin’s offer, “What are we waiting for? Let’s golden hour swap!” 

Why did he have to be so endearing? A cough escaped your throat, disjointed laughs following right after in their awkward escape. Beside you, Yoongi flung condescension Jin’s way, his voice stocked with disappointment as he warned, “Don’t speak. You age yourself.” 

You transferred your kebabs to a foiled plate before standing, blood rushing to your lower legs. Seokjin was unleashing a hearty tirade at the other man grilling when you intervened, “That sounds nice, actually. I’m in a photography class so I was planning on taking some photos anyways. Lemme just get my camera.” 

As you walked away, you couldn’t escape the abrupt change in atmosphere hovering over the grills, its looming tension caressing the back of your coat in a slight push. The words exchanged were soft in volume, but their possible meanings stayed clanging in your ears. 

“Did you tell her yet?” 

“No.” 

“Do it. She deserves to know.” 

You slipped out of your tent with a heavy jacket and lightheadedness. Medicine would’ve helped with the latter, but the med kit Seokjin packed remained strictly for emergencies. Besides, you couldn’t quite slap a bandage on what was truly bothering you anyways. 

As you inspected your class-registered Polaroid, you continued to wonder what Yoongi meant earlier. 

What was he implying? You deserved to know what? You couldn’t say the feeling swirling around your gut was a positive one. After all, there was a distinct difference in what a person should know, and what a person deserved to know. What was so important that Yoongi practically ordered Seokjin to spill? 

Was there another person in his life now? That was one thing that crossed your mind, but you filed that under the “should know” category, even though it twisted your stomach to think about.

The news had to be something urgent. 

Was Seokjin getting married? 

Without your permission, vessels in your heart shriveled, squeezing life from your already battered soul. A betrothal was entirely possible with his pursuit of a medical degree and coming from a well-to-do family. Maybe he was in an arrangement? 

That possibility dropped an anvil on your chest. You couldn’t say that you were completely fine were that the truth. How could you be fine with something like that if you loved him? Of course, you would be happy if he was, but your heart would require recuperation for an extended amount of time. Give or take a few years. 

You wandered so far into the depths of your mind that Seokjin’s sudden appearance kicked you back to shore, a yelp leaving your mouth at the same time your Polaroid left your hands. If the camera wasn’t hanging from your neck, you would’ve been in deep shit with your professor as soon as it hit the cold soil. 

Its bulky frame definitely bruised your lower chest on the downswing, though. “Ow. Geez, Jinnie, you can’t just sneak up on people like that.” 

Your eyes widened in realization. Jinnie? Shit, you hadn’t called him that since you guys were dating. Quite obviously, the stockpile of thoughts and worries involving his secret were blocking your brain from better judgment. 

And apparently you weren’t the only one affected by that nickname because Seokjin’s eyebrows shot into his dark locks, his peculiar glance shifting away. Odd. 

After an awkward second, he cleared his throat. “Does it hurt?” 

Is it supposed to? You knew he was inquiring about your injury but your thoughts drifted to what hadn’t been divulged yet. “No, it’s fine,” you lied. “Let’s pick a spot before we lose the light.” 

You don’t remember how long you walked, but the pair of you ended up far from the original campsite. 

In your defense, it wasn’t like you planned that outcome. The trees matched at every turn, so you kept wandering until you found a good clearing - or at least some rocks to break the forested monotony. 

A foil to your pickiness, Seokjin voiced his thoughts every ten paces, his votes of confidence constantly crushed by your boots. If you had a cent for every time he declared a spot “the one,” you could actually afford the Polaroid dangling from your neck. 

It was at a calm clearing with some patches from last snowfall where you decided to settle. 

Unhooking the strap from your neck, you ushered, “Let’s do this quick. It’s almost over.” 

“I wanna do it first!” You thought Seokjin meant to take the camera from you, but instead he scuttled into the clearing, striking a pose once he reached its center. Of course the fool meant that he wanted his pictures taken and not the other way around. How was any other idea plausible? “Hurry up, you said!” 

“The ‘S’ in Seokjin stands for ‘Selfish,’” you yelled, positioning the Polaroid against your eye regardless. His face enlarged in the lens and, to his credit, you couldn’t argue that he was the clear model between you two. The man could pursue a career in fashion instead of medicine and you wouldn’t bat an eye. 

He looked handsome merely standing there, cheeks dimpling at nothing in particular and his charm ever effortless. Even the slight bags under his eyes didn’t take away from his natural beauty. 

Par for the course with Seokjin. That unbothered self-assurance was one of the traits you liked and hated about him. 

At least, initially. The more you got to know him, your outlook on that defining characteristic was one of admiration, not hatred. You simply needed to start shoving some of that confidence down your own throat like a different type of vitamin C.

After a telltale camera snap, the man threw out his coated arms in another pose. “And the ‘Seok’ stands for ‘Seok in my presence!’” 

“I think I’ve been in it long enough. My fingers are pruny,” you droned while lowering your Polaroid, ignoring his wiggling in the background. It seemed you were still accustomed to his ridiculousness. 

Yet another thing you gave him credit for: he was never afraid to be a dork. When you first met him, you admittedly thought he was faking it. Over time, you recognized his authenticity, and you grew fond of everything wrapped in the gift that was Kim Seokjin.

You waited for the picture to materialize in your hand. When your impatient model approached you and asked why you weren’t shaking the polaroid, you informed him that you should, in fact, not do that. “It’ll damage the final product!” 

“So that song is…” 

“Wrong. Yes.” 

Pure shock flashed across his face. “What other lies have I been told?”  

The captured memory started blossoming, and you watched as the color bled into life. “That you aren’t the funniest person on the planet,” you answered, earning a scoff. 

“In that case, you’ve just been misinformed.” Seokjin huffed before offering an outstretched palm. “Now hand over the camera, it’s your turn.”

“Me?” You didn’t think he was serious when he said swap. In reality, you just assumed he whipped up an excuse for you to take pictures of him. 

And you didn’t mind. It was nice to have that charming smile directed at you, even if only through the lens of a camera. The Polaroid would be your shield, blocking Seokjin from the pain swimming in your eyes, barely afloat in pools of regret and guilt and loneliness.

“Yes, woman! When was the last time you had your picture taken?” 

Slowly, embarrassment swelled across your cheeks when you realized it had been a very long time. Legitimately long. You never asked others to take your picture; rather, you were always the one behind the lens. The last time someone actually offered was… 

“When you took one,” you stuttered out breathily, “At that park.” 

It was during one of the last dates you two went on before you left for university. There was a carnival you were dying to visit, and Seokjin surprised you with tickets and a kiss. 

You remember being so elated while traversing through the whimsical booths, failing fantastically at the rigged games, scarfing down sticky, billowy cotton candy. Squeaky horns and childish laughter filled your ears, and you could still feel Jin’s gentle fingers on your hand as he shyly tugged you under glowing stringed lights. 

The main attraction was a carousel keeping everything else in orbit, its charisma shining like a golden, spinning sun. When night fell, you too gravitated toward its charm, standing behind its barricade to watch horses and teacups endlessly turn. 

It was so captivating that you forgot yourself and where you were - who you were supposed to be spending time with. Swiveling in fear, you scanned the bustling crowd for your boyfriend, realizing that you needn’t worry at all. 

Seokjin simply waited behind you, holding up his phone and telling you to pose. You were so caught off-guard in that moment that your face contorted hilariously right as he snapped the photo. In his eyes, it was the greatest picture of all time. 

However, it wasn’t that well received by its subject. You begged Seokjin to delete it, and he finally caved on the grounds that you took a replacement. Conceding, you stomped back to the gate guarding the twirling attraction and pranked your boyfriend with a blank expression. 

But as soon as Seokjin drawled “You look like you don’t care-ousel,” you burst into laughter - your unabashed mirth becoming his background on every device he owned. 

The scene faded from your eyes as the current Seokjin stood in front of you, gripping the Polaroid instead of his phone. Gone were the lights and sounds of the theme park and, with them, your fleeting moment of solace. 

“Oh,” was all he stated in return, and you swore the temperature chose to drop in that moment just to mock you.

“You know I don’t prefer it anyways.” Your heart was losing its grip, sorrow evident in your shaky tone. You folded your arms to shield your body from the weather and unwanted emotions. “I’m definitely not as photogenic as you.” 

“Nonsense,” Seokjin shot back. “Now hurry up, it’s only golden minute now!” 

And just like that, his warmth melted any awkwardness like spring chasing away winter. 

In retrospect, he probably regarded that moment at the carnival differently, or he just wanted to keep those memories in the past where they belonged. It hurt to be the only one so strongly affected by them, but Jin had the right idea. If there existed a standard list of activities to do with an ex, talking about the past wasn’t one of the options. Especially if you had feelings for said ex. 

Plus, you didn’t forget that there was something he had to tell you. It seemed like you were going to have to wait a little longer for that, and your anxiousness wasn’t pleased.  

As you ambled to the center of the clearing, you focused more on the crunching sounds your boots made rather than your feelings. With a quick survey of the area, you surmised that it really was a pretty spot, the mountain range peeking behind the trees adding depth to the setting. Adjusting your outfit, you took a breath of courage before staring at the eye of the Polaroid.

Seokjin moved the camera from his face and called your name, roping your gaze to his concern. “Smile, okay?” 

On instinct, your throat constricted. You couldn’t hide behind the lens that time. But smile you did, and you hoped Seokjin thought it genuine, silently pleading him to not notice the anguish lingering behind your crescent eyes. 

The fire pit your friends constructed blazed bright as you both made it back to the campgrounds. Everyone occupied the surrounding logs and, judging from the soft pop pumping from a portable speaker, Jungkook must have commandeered music control.

Jimin turned when he heard your footsteps, his expression indiscernible as he shifted his gaze between you and Jin. Thankfully, he didn’t say anything, only turning back to Yoongi to continue their conversation. 

Seokjin and you parted ways effortlessly: he slotted into the empty space next to Namjoon and you headed to your tent to stow your camera. 

And for some reason, that easy departure was hard to swallow. 

Your pitched space offered warmth upon entry, and you dumped yourself onto your sleeping bag without a word. A few quiet moments passed before you unzipped your backpack, the tiny action feeling so tedious, so difficult to achieve. 

After you finally stored your equipment and closed your bag shut, you just… sat there. Contemplative. 

Mentally, you were in a bad place. Your thoughts and emotions banged into each other, their war rendering you powerless - captive. Fidgeting with the plasticky fabric of your sleeping bag, you thought back to what happened after you two left the photo spot.

It was an uneventful walk back for the most part. The polaroids turned out nice, all thanks to the very rare and very expensive camera you borrowed. Seokjin claimed yours and handed you his, and faced with your sudden curiosity, he sheepishly offered, “You don’t have to keep it.” 

You were more questioning of the fact that he stored yours in his jacket, but you didn’t want to broach that subject. It was beginning to scare you. Maybe it was the fact that he was acting strange, coupled with the other fact that he was hiding something from you. 

Why were you suddenly afraid to confront him? You two were open with each other during your relationship. Were you also wanting to put this dreaded conversation off as long as possible, too? 

If he was with someone else, though, would he still be keeping your picture? 

It was too much to think about, so you tried to lock everything in a box and sit on it. 

You saw the light of the campfire after a few minutes of walking through the woods - a handful of silent, crawling minutes. It was bugging you that Seokjin didn’t say anything on the way back. A quiet Jin was a Jin knee deep in thought, and not in good circumstance. In a moment of weakness, you almost offered out your hand to grab his, but you instead crammed it inside your coat pocket. 

When you both rejoined your friends, it seemed so easy for you guys to separate, like you didn’t just go off and do something so intimate. Even though that wasn’t the word you wanted to use. 

You resigned yourself to the big picture nonetheless: it wasn’t like what Taehyung and Rin did. Your best friend was insanely popular on social media with her carefully curated feed and relatable-yet-unachievable style. Taehyung had his own massive following for different reasons, and you couldn’t deny that he knew exactly what he was doing to gain the hearts of many. They were snapping photos for each other to show millions of anonymous beings across the world. 

You and Seokjin just took photos for each other to have. No one else was going to see those. 

Why did you feel like that was significant? 

The edge of your sleeping bag began to fray under duress, so you plucked your body off the ground and slipped back outside. What you expected was the temperature dipping a couple degrees in nightfall. What you didn’t expect was Jimin waiting for you, puffy jacket and all, leaning against a tree. 

When he saw you emerge from your tent, he straightened and regarded you with caution. “Everything okay?”

You adjusted the front of your coat before fishing a beanie out to cover your ears. “Yeah, why?”

“You were just in there for awhile,” Jimin explained, his eyes searching yours, “And you were with him for a long time.”

“I don’t like being interrogated, Park,” you sighed.

“I know, I just…” He mirrored you and huffed his own breath toward the ground. A quick glance had you noticing that his own beanie was knit as thick as the fog in your mind. “I just want to make sure.” 

Jimin was whom you considered closest next to your best friend and formerly Seokjin. After your break up, Jimin regularly sent you texts to check on you, despite your constant assurance that you were okay. It got to a point where you phoned him and pleaded reprieve - to reach out only if he had something critical to say. 

His broken reply? He only texted you because Seokjin wouldn’t. 

You ended up crying after that call, and the tears annoyingly persisted a couple nights following. 

He was also one of the only two people in the world that knew you loved Jin. Rin was the other, and that’s only because you let it slip during a girls’ night over cheap wine and period piece movies. Something about an early morning confession in a dewy meadow was enough to loosen your alcohol-mottled tongue.

After you ran your fingers over your head, you responded, “Can I ask you something?” 

Your friend’s eyes roamed over your face. “Of course.”

“What’s he hiding from me?”

Jimin instantly clammed up at the question. His dancer frame assumed a rigid position, each limb locking, including his jaw. “It’s not my place to say,” he answered gravely, pulling anger from your center.

“Does everyone else know this secret except me?” You really couldn’t take it anymore, especially knowing that something you supposedly deserved to know was possibly public knowledge. 

“Just the guys,” Jimin divulged, and you scoffed. 

“I can’t believe this.” You made to walk away, in the opposite direction of the campfire. Into the woods again.

Jimin said your name like he just wanted you to understand already, halting you mid-stride. “I’ve been trying to get him to talk to you. Trust me, I have.”

“He’s a grown man, Park. His decisions aren’t your problem,” you whispered. 

“But aren’t they yours?” 

“Not anymore. We aren’t together right now, if you don’t recall.” You knew you were spitting bullshit, and Jimin did, too. If Seokjin wasn’t giving you problems, you wouldn’t have been hiding in your tent or literally and figuratively walking away from him. Guiltily, you turned back to face Jimin and give him his credit. 

He was this way for everyone in your group: the glue that hung on and fought to keep people from breaking apart. Whenever a fight broke out between warring parties, Jimin was the middle man. Always. 

Sighing, you relented, “I’m sorry I’m taking this out on you. I’m just so confused, and the longer he hides whatever he’s hiding from me, the more restless I’ll be.”

“Everyone is on your side in this,” Jimin replied. “He just needs to, I don’t know, woman up.”

A breath of laughter escaped you at the tweaked phrase, the tension coating your shoulders slowly sliding off in clumps. “Did you say ‘woman up?’”

“Men aren’t shit,” your friend explained, pointing a gloved finger to punctuate every syllable. “At least women get things done.”

“I would totally drink to that if I had a bottle in my hand, Jimin.”

“Ah, well that can be arranged!” The boy’s eyes crinkled as he spun on a heel. “Let’s go. Jungkook and Taehyung brought out the drinks awhile ago. I missed out on a few bottles already talking to you.”

“Oh, I feel so remorseful,” you cooed, your voice worthy of giving kids cavities. “Almost as if I cared.” 

“Ass,” Jimin snapped, but he could only laugh. When you joined his side, he turned and whispered, “But seriously. If he doesn’t talk about it by the end of this trip, I’m giving him hell.” 

The temperature dropped again at that moment, and the wind blowing through the pines cut straight into your bones. Your shoulders hunched on instinct and you blinked to get needed moisture. Was it going to snow? The skies above did look intimidating. Was it going to storm? 

A sudden trepidation settled into your gut. “Did we check the weather,” you queried, shuffling through your brain to see if you monitored it yourself before the trip. 

“Uh-umm, I did,” Jimin answered through chattering teeth, “But I didn’t see anything other than it being cold.” 

You pulled out your phone and regretted doing so, your fingers freezing over instantly. You were lucky you all chose a location that was still in signal range - really, thanks went to Rin and Taehyung for incessantly demanding it every year.

Pulling up the weather app after a few tries, you cursed at the oncoming forecast. “Well, there’s more to it. Snow’s coming in,” you relayed to Jimin. “Let’s pack up and find a place to stay.” 

The car ride to the nearest lodging felt immensely different than the ride to the campgrounds. Some people focused on defrosting, one person worried about the people in the front, and the two said people in the front weren’t talking at all. 

It was you that broke the silence when you steadily gave directions, and Seokjin would repeat them like always. Selfishly, you wanted the car ride to keep going just so you could hear his voice. He wasn’t saying anything otherwise, and there wasn’t music playing for him to absentmindedly sing along to. 

The first snowfall was light as your caravan entered the small town nearby, which relieved you. Tiny snowflakes clung onto the windows and you lost yourself in their geometric patterns. Lights from the shops and other stray cars reflected in the slick roads to create a symphony of color, and white patches already settled on trees that lined the main way. 

Seokjin spotted the lodge first, and he rolled into a spot towards the entrance, Jungkook’s car slotting into the next space. Your driver rolled down his window and repeatedly pointed his finger down to signal for Yoongi to follow suit. “Let’s go in and make sure they have our rooms first,” he called out, and Jungkook leaned over his console to shout a hearty okay.

You hoisted yourself out of the car and waited for the boys to follow. Seokjin went to stand next to you, but instead of Jungkook popping out of the other car, it was Namjoon that emerged. You could only guess that the youngest slyly started a game to have the loser get out. 

Your stomach turned when you realized it was most likely because no one wanted to be left alone with you and Seokjin. 

Remorse burned your throat. This trip was supposed to be fun, but it just felt strained. Were you overthinking? Or was your churning gut correct in its assumption? 

At the very least, you hoped everyone else was having a better time than you were. 

It seemed that the man beside you had the same feeling that a challenge was pitched. “Rock-paper-scissors? Or nose goes?”

Namjoon just laughed at the ground as his face flushed. “Nose goes, and I put my finger on my mouth so, umm, that’s that.” 

You chuckled while you three made your way to the door, both of them towering over you on either side. Seokjin opened the entrance for everyone and, when you stepped foot inside, you were hit with a wave of warmth mixed with an undercurrent of gingerbread. The entirety of the main entrance bathed in plaid or embroidered throws, and there was an obvious affinity for Christmas on display with the plethora of garlands, lights, and a towering Christmas tree in the front bay window. 

Namjoon and Seokjin quickly got distracted by the toy train running through a snowy village setup. Adorable, but not helpful. 

Alone at the front desk, you received confirmation that your group had four bookings, and you thanked the concierge while you gathered the keys. 

The rooms weren’t next to each other. One of them sat on another floor, and the rest were separated but shared the same level. 

A container of pamphlets caught your attention, so you grabbed one before strolling away. “Guys, let’s claim our rooms. After that, you can watch the train all you want,” you called out, tapping them both on the back with the thin brochure. 

They swiveled their heads to your retreating form before following you out the door. 

“No. We are not doing that again.” 

“Come on, hyung, it’ll be fun!” 

“I’m with Yoongi on this one. We could all end up in the same room.” 

“But what if you get a room to yourself?” 

“Why can’t we ever just pick like normal people? And Hoseok-hyung, you laugh but you have the worst luck out of all of us.” 

“Excuse me! That’s only because you all psyche me out!” 

“Let’s just pick something. My phone’s almost dead.” 

You stood next to Rin while you two watched the boys decide how room assignments were determined. It was a sight to see: them crowding the small hallway, bags littered around their bulky shoes. You both were thankful they were courteous enough to let you two keep a room to yourselves. They even made sure yours wasn’t on the other floor, just so that you girls wouldn’t be alone. 

They were going to pick random rooms one-by-one, not knowing which options the others picked until they opened a door. If you and your friend also had to choose, you were risking the possibility of being stuck with Seokjin, which was the last thing you wanted. 

On a day where your friendship was actually normal, that wouldn’t have mattered one bit. But right then? The tension surrounding him would have been detrimental. 

He had something to say; he wasn’t saying it. You were a sitting, fidgeting duck. 

Jungkook whipped his phone out to search the internet for a random coin flip generator. “Here. Heads, we do it. Tails, we don’t.” 

Yoongi just snickered in defeat and already started picking up his bag. “I call picking first.” 

His intuition proved sharp as the generator pulled up Heads: they were going with the random room assignments. Taehyung kicked his head back with a sigh, and Jimin and Jungkook burst into laughter while the elders collectively groaned.  

As Rin giggled at their misfortune, you sent a rueful smile Seokjin’s way out of habit. You were still friends, after all, and he seemed so distraught over the prospect of horrid results. His eyes locked onto yours and, for a brief moment, he offered a shy grin in return.

The fluttering in your chest was quickly shooed away. 

It was while everyone relaxed around a public lounge area that Jungkook hurled an accusation, his eyes alight with the flames licking the nearby fireplace. “Hyung cheated.” 

Seokjin immediately sat up in his plush chair and retorted, “Take that back! I did nothing of the sort. You all were just too lazy to take the stairs to the next floor.”

Taehyung shot him a side eye and shared his own eloquent opinion. “Seems sus.” 

A whole new wave of bickering erupted, and you redirected your attention to the snow storm blustering outside tall windows. 

You were thanking every deity above that you guys decided to leave in time. It would’ve been hell in the campsite during this weather, or even while squeezed into the cars. 

Though the original plans were derailed, you were pretty happy with the current lodging situation. Who knew a small town would have a humongous lodge? It had to be assumed that this was the main business keeping the town running. Rin was absolutely drinking it in and stated she even wanted to bring her family there, her thoughtfulness curving your mouth upwards.

Another good thing that came out of this trip proved to be the room assignments that Jungkook ended up loathing. They had you clutching your sides when all was said and done.

Four of the boys managed to pick the same room, and Hoseok and Yoongi snagged a room to themselves. These results resulted in one Kim Seokjin speeding up and down the hallway, wholeheartedly shouting with glee. Yoongi almost crumpled to the ground in relief at the end, and Hoseok fell over in laughter when he entered the full room. You could feel the desperation in Namjoon’s muffled voice as he begged Seokjin to let him change rooms. The only reply he received was an ominous “If you behave.” 

“Don’t blame us,” Yoongi laughed out, both hands lightly gripping the arms of the rocking chair he chose. “This is what you young people get for trying to be cute.” His relief from only having to bunk with one other person left him chipper, you noticed. To his credit, it was amusing that the youngest four ended up in the same room. 

“Okay, gramps,” Jungkook snapped, earning a laugh from Jimin on the seat next to him. “But she definitely gave hyung clues!” 

You whipped your head around to shoot a confused look toward your accuser. “Me?” 

Multiple eyes darted between you two like pinballs, and you didn’t have time to brace for his next words,

“You know you won’t see him again after this trip, so you—” 

“—Kook!” 

All oxygen abandoned you as Jimin rushed to shut the younger man’s mouth, practically slapping his face. Eyes popped out of his head as Jungkook paled in realization. 

The rest of the boys bore glares into the youngest one’s countenance, but Seokjin turned directly towards you with concern. 

What just happened? Your fingers gripped the varnished wood of your chair as you slowly locked eyes with your ex, and your heart dropped like a stone when he shifted his gaze to the floor. 

What the fuck was happening? Your brain was going haywire. What did Jungkook mean? You wouldn’t see Seokjin after this trip? The man that you couldn’t wait to see on the last Friday of every November? That was bogus. He was joking. It was a joke, right? One more weekend before Seokjin was gone from your life forever? Impossible. Ludicrous.

Why wasn’t anyone saying anything? 

Beside you, Rin clutched one of your tense fists in her soft palms. Addressing the group, her sharp tone demanded an answer when she asked, “What the hell is going on?” 

The silence that followed was palpable. Not even the pleasant music drifting through the lodge was enough to damper the tension. 

“I think,” Yoongi finally murmured, his words ice, “This is our cue to leave.”  

“No need,” your friend snipped, “We’ll go.” She whispered your name before softly tugging you to vacate your seat. 

When you pried yourself from the cushion, it took a moment for you to control your legs to actually move. You knew all the guys were watching you, but you were too embarrassed to acknowledge them, too upset to look any of them in the eye. 

Rin led you away from the lounge, making sure you were heading toward the nearest staircase before spinning on her heel. “To the unfortunate soul that gets to explain this to me,” she bit, clutching everyone’s attention in her underlying threat, “Text me where to meet you in ten minutes.” 

Both you and Rin occupied the carpet, backs against the cookie cutter sofa that existed in each room. 

You two pushed the furniture around so that the couch faced the windows instead of the plain TV, and you surprised your friend by dumping yourself onto the ground instead of the cushions. Rin didn’t question you, though. She only followed suit. 

The curtains were shoved to the side to reveal the relentless storm, and you watched the swirls and streaks of white until your head fell onto Rin’s shoulder. 

“I should’ve been paying attention to you,” she murmured, “I’m sorry.”

You shook your head, the motion feeling awkward in its tilt. “No, no. You’ve been having a fun time, so I’m happy I didn’t ruin that.” Your laugh was dry. “Until now, at least.”

Rin lowered her shoulder so that you rested more comfortably. “How are you feeling?” 

“Like I’m going through a breakup again.”

Fuck. You didn’t realize until the words left your lips that it’s how you really felt. 

It had been a few years since you guys ended things. Throughout that whole time, you didn’t feel awkward one bit.  

Well, that wasn’t entirely true. The “date” that Seokjin brought to the Christmas party last year made you want to tear your hair out. But, that was because she was obviously after his finances and that was the year you realized you loved him. 

The conversation you had with Seokjin turned sour, but you really wanted him to see the big picture. You could still recall that night with clarity, the snow falling much lighter than what you currently witnessed outside. 

“Seokjin, do you honestly think she likes you?” The red dress you wore was so vibrant that it glinted off the dinnerware spread across the decadent table nearby. 

When you pulled your ex aside that night, the only quiet place you could find was the dining room, long abandoned once everyone got their seconds. Up until this point, it was obvious Seokjin wasn’t understanding you. You tried to tell him how you saw it, and he would just brush things aside. 

“You sound like you care more than I do,” he accused, his eyes looking everywhere but your face.

Before you responded, you scoffed. “I’m your friend. Of course I’m going to care.” 

You remember the strong emotions you suppressed that night. You couldn’t let more things slip than necessary. Yes, you could show him you cared. Yes, you could show him he needed someone else. Just as long as you didn’t give too much of your own feelings for him away. “You deserve someone that at least likes you, for you.” 

Seokjin finally stared back at your stormy features, his eyes filled with something unsaid. You sucked in a breath. What else would he say? You liked him for everything he was, but that relationship didn’t pan out. Obviously. You would’ve been going to this Christmas party together if you still dated. 

Maybe you shouldn’t have been having that conversation - it was already hard enough for you to say you were his friend. You wanted to be more than that. Again. 

“I know she doesn’t like me,” he finally admitted, running a hand through his bangs. The urge to caress his ever soft strands filled you with grief. 

You really did like his hair, and it looked even better when coupled with his Nutcracker-esque attire. 

“Then why…” You struggled to find a reason why they were even there together. It was a Christmas party with your friends. Why would he bring someone that he didn’t like? 

“She’s interested in Namjoon.” Seokjin’s eyes quickly turned into crescents when he witnessed your expression, and his full lips pursed to contain his laughter. “I was trying to get her off me the whole night, but she was trying harder than she needed to to make him jealous. I’m irresistible, you know.” 

“Irritable is more like it,” you growled, playfully shoving him aside. “Ass! I was just trying to protect you and you knew this whole time!” 

“It’s nice to know you’re looking out for me!” The man beamed as he made his way out of the dining room. 

“Yeah, well,” you whispered, tensing slightly when he stopped. “They have to be perfect. It’s what you deserve.” And you really did mean that.  

Seokjin’s smile faltered, and you shot him a half-smile before exiting the room yourself. 

That was the last time you guys had an argument, if you could even call it that. The rest of the moments you had with him were completely fine. You wondered if Seokjin could see through you during that conversation. He was perceptive, sure, but you may have gotten away with looking like just a good friend. 

It was just worrisome since you couldn’t control your emotions that night. You only got to see him in person during these November trips and Christmas parties when you went home, after all. Seeing him again after realizing you loved him ignited something within you, and it took the whole night to put that fire out.

This looming news just felt way too heavy to handle. Was it because you reached where the sidewalk ended? You weren’t going to see his face in person or hear his laugh out loud. There wasn’t going to be off-the-cuff, awful dad jokes thrown your way every end of November. 

A nagging idea, far in the depths of your mind, kept tapping your shoulder. But you brushed it off with a scowl. 

Even if you acknowledged the concept, there was no way Seokjin felt the same about you. Neither one of you said you loved each other throughout the time you were dating. Were there times you thought you did? Admittedly, yes. Did you ever think about telling him? Another yes. But he never hinted that he felt the same, so it would’ve been awkward for you if it turned out he didn’t. The absence of a confession kept you from revealing yours. So of course even now, you couldn’t tell him. Especially since he was apparently leaving.

Rin didn’t speak for awhile, but you knew she wasn’t the best at comforting people. She was number one at standing up for you and protecting you, but when it came to the softer parts of consoling, she did flounder. Which was endearing and calming in itself.

“How can I help,” she simply offered, and you nuzzled further into her neck. She always smelled so nice, your guardian Rin.

The adrenaline from Jungkook’s bombshell, your swift exit, and the constant stream of thoughts started to wane. Exhaustion slowly took its place like honey sliding into a jar. Softly, your eyelids drooped and you whispered, “This room is a castle, so be my big bad dragon and don’t let anyone in.” 

The last sound you heard before falling asleep was a tinkling laugh followed by a small “As you wish, princess.” 

When you regained consciousness, you discovered that you were strewn across one of the beds instead of the ground. You couldn’t even estimate how much time passed while you were out, but the storm outside was still thrashing and the only light in the room was the emergency one by the door. 

You groggily propped up weary limbs in search of your phone, eventually swiping it from the nightstand. Still half-asleep, you barely registered the pain meds and glass of water sitting on that same table, their dark silhouettes waiting patiently. 

Bright pixels mocked your drool-covered chin. Scrunching your face instinctively, you scrolled through your notifications while blinking sleep from your lashes. You received multiple texts, but you didn’t want to open the threads completely, so you opted to check them from the Home screen. 

Jiminie [7:20pm]: Fuck, I’m sorry that happened. Please be okay. Love you.

Tae [7:21pm]: free hugs whenever you need. you know the drill. 

Rin-Rin [7:36pm]: I know you said not to let anyone in but I literally couldn’t carry you to the bed. Forgive me!

Yoongi [7:37pm]: He’s in his room. I kept telling him to tell you. I know it’s shit to find out this way so if he doesn’t explain things to you, I will. 

Hobi [7:39pm]: we’re here for u love!! let me know if u need anything. there’s a small concession stand downstairs so if u need smth i can run it up!!

Jiminie [7:40pm]: Kook is in bad shape. He swore he thought hyung told you already. Don’t worry tho. I’m not letting him off easy.

Rin-Rin [7:43pm]: Hey, love. Just spoke to Seokjin. I think you need to talk to him yourself, but only if you feel up for it. 

Joonie [7:45pm]: I gave Rin a bottle of pain meds we had in our room 

Joonie [7:45pm]: Go ahead and take some when you wake up

Joonie [7:45pm]: We can count this as an emergency

Jiminie [8:21pm]: Let me know if you’re okay, okay?

Kook [8:33pm]: I’m so sorry 

Rin-Rin [8:48pm]: Grabbing us some snacks from downstairs, I’ll brb. 

Your battered heart sank even more when you noticed a distinct absence amongst the names. Seokjin didn’t send you a single message. 

What had gotten into him? Did he still not want to talk to you despite you knowing his secret? You clicked your phone shut without opening any of the messages and sunk into the pillows. It was 8:49pm, so you had barely missed Rin’s departure. Her exit was probably what woke you. 

Unwittingly, you found your device in front of your baggy eyes again, berating yourself for hovering over Seokjin’s thread. The last text he sent stared back at you in a mocking set of pixels. 

Kim JokeJin [Thursday, 9:23pm]: Let’s make this one the best one! 

With the previous context, this was just a regular message about the yearly trip. With the right context, these words tied your throat in a knot.  

You were sure you loved him, but what you were feeling now was even stronger. If you were honest with yourself, you would say that this is what yearning truly felt like, what something deeper than love felt like. 

But you were a fool and a liar, so you convinced yourself it was only because you wouldn’t see him again. 

As soon as you were about to give up and lock your phone, the thread updated with a new text from Seokjin, and you stilled. 

Kim JokeJin [8:51pm]: You’re probably still asleep, so I don’t want to wake you. 

You immediately clicked on his message, your anxiousness protected by the absence of Read receipts. The typing bubble kept popping in and out of the screen and, with bated breath, you waited to see if a second text slid into the thread. A hard exhale whooshed from your throat when the second message came through. 

Kim JokeJin [8:53pm]: But I owe you an explanation so come up when you can. 

Fingers locked your phone in an instant when the door creaked on its hinges. Rin entered with an armful of chips and various candy bars, and as you started to get up, she tutted.  

“Sit down, lady.” Packages crinkled as she dumped them onto your covered legs in a processed, sweet and salty heap. “Did you take the medicine?” 

You shook your head, very sure that you looked like a cranky Troll doll. 

“Go ahead and eat something really quick so the medicine will work. When you’re awake enough…” Rin’s voice trailed off, but you filled in the blanks yourself. Go talk to him was what she wanted to say. 

“Can’t you just tell me what he said?” You were hopeful that Rin would save you the pain of confronting Seokjin yourself. In reality, she denied your request. 

“Not this time,” she murmured, “This is something that needs to come from him.” 

You figured as much, but it didn’t hurt to try getting out of it. It was a conversation that you both wanted and dreaded to have. Under your goosebumps, your bones trembled.

If you were frightened by the mere gist of it, how were you going to react to the real thing?

The reality was that you needed the closure Seokjin was offering. You didn’t think this vacation - or your friendship, for that matter - could regain normalcy until you had this talk. “Sorry I ruined this trip,” you whispered, playing with a corner of the closest bag of chips. 

“I’m sorry, is your name ‘Jungkook?’” Rin laughed. “I’m kidding. It’s not ruined. At the very least, it’s salvageable. Maybe.”

“You should be a weather girl with these confident forecasts,” you joked, coaxing a laugh from your friend. You offered a small smile in return, but your heart wasn’t in it. She kinda forgot that this is the last trip you guys would have with Seokjin. If anything, it was doomed from the start. 

Little striations ran across the door greeting you, shallow cuts skirting up and down the frame. You roved your eyes over the rough texture; contemplative, lost in the mahogany brown expanse. 

If only you were a sturdy tree. You wouldn’t have to worry about any hard conversations in life. All you would’ve had to worry about was possibly becoming a rickety chair for a spoiled brat, or one of Namjoon’s tables that he would eventually damage and lament over. 

With a breath, you finally knocked. 

It didn’t take long for Seokjin’s freshly showered form to answer, and when you saw him dressed down to a plain white shirt and black pants, you quickly shifted your eyes to the floor. Didn’t he know that outfit was your favorite? Your weakness? 

“Hey,” you simply said. “I’m awake now.” 

He nodded and let you in, the door closing with a soft click. When you crossed the room, you stopped in front of the couch, anticipation already caking onto your clothes. There wasn’t much to say on your end, you figured, so Seokjin had to take the lead. 

Instead of launching into topic, he walked towards you and grabbed a bottle from his nightstand. “Do you want some water?” 

You could only stare at the plastic in question. “Did I come here for water, Seokjin?” 

There was a heavy pause before the man planted his offering on the nightstand. “No.” Sitting on the longer side of his bed, he clasped his hands together, blank eyes glued to the floor. “Jungkook is right. I won’t be able to go on these trips anymore.” 

“Why?” 

“I, umm,” Seokjin answered, his words fumbling, “I kinda got into Harvard Medical School.” 

“What?” Your anxiousness was forgotten as you gawked at him. That was what he was holding back from you? All this time? That amazing, fantastic, crazy news? Without thinking, you bounded toward him and crushed him in a hug, careful to not push him back onto the bed. “Seokjin! This is what you couldn’t tell me?” 

His arms remained at his sides. When he responded, his explanation bounced onto your shoulder, “I literally won’t have a life once I start. None of you will be able to see this face, isn’t that enough to be sad about?” 

Another moment of weakness came over you, and instead of overcoming it, you gave in. Your arms tightened around him and you whispered, “No, I’m so happy for you. You’ve worked so hard…” 

There were bags under his eyes for a reason. You knew the nights he got three hours of sleep far outweighed the nights he got more than that. The reason you two didn’t get to see each other was his relentless studying and discipline, and you didn’t want him to have to choose between you and a future career. You both were way too young for those rash decisions. 

It was with this memory that you were reminded of why you broke up: you wanted him to focus on his goals and you would do the same. “Really, I’m so proud of you.” 

Why you hadn’t let go of him at that point was a mystery to you, but you couldn’t seem to stop. The feel of his body against yours consumed you, held you captive even if his arms didn’t. 

But after a moment, you felt strong limbs wrap around your sides and emotion wrap around your throat. 

You don’t remember the last time you two truly embraced. It was a given that the last time you did, you were both completely different people. Both so young. Both so naive.

“Thank you,” Seokjin breathed, his head finally a beautiful burden on your shoulder, “But there’s more.” 

Tension froze your veins, taking the color from your complexion. Of course there was more. There was no way that was the big reveal, even though it was a monster in itself. “Oh,” was all you managed to squeak out. 

Seokjin’s arms gently pushed your body away so that he could look you in the eyes. You already missed his stronghold, but you listened as he spoke. “My parents want me to go back home. To Korea.” 

You blinked. “Even though you got into Harvard?” 

“No, no, after that,” Seokjin expressed with a level of confidence only he could achieve. Like it was inconceivable that he wouldn’t get his doctorate. He then searched your face, the pause holding weight. “So, I don’t know if I’ll see you guys again.” 

The wind howled outside and you shivered as if you were standing out there in the cold. There was so much that you wanted to say, but all the thoughts you had in your head melded together into sludge. Words struggled to leave your mouth. Nothing processed correctly in your brain. 

Seokjin wasn’t joking - not this time. He really was going to be swamped in work and work and more work. Even the holidays were going to be crammed, and you were sure he wanted to use those rare rest periods solely to recharge. 

Yes, he would still be able to text and call everyone, but that would be the extent of communication. He wasn’t big on social media. Even if he was, there would certainly be a dip in his activity now. 

Just like you felt earlier, you really did feel like you were going through a breakup again. Only this time, the last remains of your relationship were at stake. 

You didn’t want that. 

“We’d still be friends,” you weakly offered, wondering if you were just saying that to convince yourself. 

An empty chuckle startled you, and when you looked at Jin, he directed an empty gaze toward his nightstand’s lamp. “Yeah… We’d still be friends,” he repeated, and the way he said that made your shoulders sag. It was almost as if he didn’t believe you. 

“But Seokjin… You should be so happy. I mean, you’re incredible,” you whispered, a heavy feeling weighing down your chest.

“What if I’m not?” 

You sucked in a breath, suddenly not knowing what to do. Was he saying that hypothetically? No. There wouldn’t be a reason for him to ask if he truly was. 

How were you supposed to respond to that? Being a doctor was his goal - you were sure of it. If he got accepted into Harvard of all places, then his future glimmered as bright as his charm. “What do you mean,” was what you decided to say. Because you needed more from him than that. 

“You said I should be happy. What if I’m not?” 

“This is what you’ve been working towards your whole life!” It didn’t make any sense. None of this was making any sense. Who wasn’t happy that they got accepted to one of the most prestigious medical programs in the world? “You did everything you could, and now you have something to show for it! We even broke up over this. And that’s fine,” you quickly added at the end. You didn’t want Seokjin to feel bad for that at all. 

“What I’m trying to say is,” you continued, wanting to get every logical word out before more irrational ones escaped. “You’ve gotten everything you wanted. You deserve to be happy.” 

You could feel the doors of your heart scraping shut. Even if you wanted to try to be with him again, you would have to give up on that dream. There was no way it was going to work if it didn’t pan out last time. 

Fists clenched, you hated how your heart gravitated towards Seokjin on this damn trip, loathed how your brain produced its own highlight reel. Somehow, they both knew this was the end before you did. 

“I don’t have everything I want, but you’re right. I’ll be happy.” He sounded bitter. Why did he sound so bitter?

“What more could you want,” you blurted, the question materializing between the two of you in bold letters. You were just getting frustrated at this point. 

This was his dream. The ultimate goal. The one thing he wanted out of life.

“It doesn’t matter.” 

“It does to me.”

“Well, it’s none of your concern.”

“I don’t care if it is or not.”

“You really want to know?” Seokjin shot off the bed, immediately towering over your small stature. As your eyes reached his face, you watched as his lips twisted, your shocked features taking in his frustration. “It’s… It’s love, okay? That might sound weird to you, but I’ve realized that all of this is pointless without it. That’s what I’m missing. I want to love again.” He shoved a hand through his hair, his forehead slightly wrinkling under duress. 

The first thing that threw you off was the mere mention of the word. That was so brave of him to even bring it up. With you, of all people: someone he’s dated before. It must have taken so much courage for him to admit that. 

But there was another word in there that stood out amongst all the others.

Again. He said again. Did he love someone before? He couldn’t have been referring to what you guys had. You never once said those words to each other while you dated. So who was he thinking of? And why did it hurt to know that he had loved before and it wasn’t you? 

“I didn’t know you wanted that,” you replied, your voice painfully small. “But I don’t think it’s weird.”

You wanted nothing more than to just confess to him already, but you had no clue what he would say if he didn’t want something with you. The moment escaped like a thief in the night.

“Ah, well, if you knew the whole story,” Seokjin sighed, his breath shaky, “You would definitely think it’s stupid.”

“Why did it end the first time?” You wanted to get to the bottom of it. Maybe through his explanation, you could find something salvageable. You cared about him - so damn much. Seeing him in a state of utter helplessness seized your heart and gripped it tight. “With the one you… you loved. What happened?”

Seokjin’s indiscernible stare pierced through your soul, his silence screaming that he didn’t want to talk about it. 

And you understood his reluctance. The list of activities to do with an ex didn’t include this as an option, either. 

You felt the steely aftertaste of guilt on your tongue. Maybe he wanted you to just leave him alone already. Besides, you already pushed him to tell a multitude of truths that night. Asking him about a past love life was most likely crossing the line. “I’m sorry,” you apologized, uprooting yourself from your spot to leave. “You don’t have to tell me. I’ll leave you alone.” 

You made it three steps before Seokjin responded, “She decided to end it.” 

A vice clamped your chest. You stood in your new spot closer to the door, eyes boring into the floor. “Even though you were in love?” 

That must have been awful. If you loved him when you two broke it off, it would have absolutely hurt. Very much like what was happening to you now, in fact. Because fuck, were you absolutely disintegrating like a paper on fire. 

“I don’t think she loved me,” Seokjin disclosed, his words tightening the clasp around your lungs. “But I loved her.” 

“I’m so sorry, Seokjin.” Tears brimmed across your eyes, but you didn’t want him to see you break. You thrummed with so many emotions in that moment, swept by the current of his words, his heavy tribulations.

He loved someone in the past. You loved him in the present. If only you both harbored a love for each other in at least one point in your lives. 

“That must have been hard.”

“It wasn’t, for the most part.” His brittle words crumbled as they appeared. “I saw it coming.”

You chewed on your lip. Seokjin’s confessions were so full of pain - the amount of love he had for this person was obvious. Looking back on your relationship, you remember your split being mutual. It was mutual, right? There weren't any feelings involved. Whichever other situation Seokjin was referring to had to be sometime after you. 

Maybe it was someone during his college days. But wouldn’t you have at least heard about them through the friend circle? Their name must have just left your mind. You knew Seokjin flirted a lot but he needed to be serious to really start a relationship. This one just sounded tragic. 

“I don’t know what to say,” you admitted sincerely, your chest about ready to collapse, “Other than don’t give up. You can do it. Love again.” The joints in your knees threatened to give out. Telling the one you loved that he could find someone again was too much. Too, too much.

“Ah, yeah. Well.” Seokjin turned away from you in a shrug. Even the back of his profile was perfect. “Thanks for being a good, uh, friend.” 

Friend. Could you teleport to your room and stay there? You couldn’t be the one to give him what he wanted, especially since he was about to be gone for a very long time. No matter how much you wanted to. Oh, how you wanted to. 

You swung around to face the door once again. Critical words almost freed themselves from your lips, but you held them back, swallowed them down. “I’ll always be your friend.” 

Head storming, you commended yourself for keeping your voice level. The tears were able to recede - which relieved you, since you wanted to make it through the rest of the conversation with dry eyes. With one tiny head shake, you whispered, “Let’s get some sleep, okay? I don’t want us to ruin the rest of this trip. Like you said before, we have to make it the best one.” 

Seokjin got up and made his way over to you, and you turned around with a fresh face once you knew he was close enough. The smile he wore was manufactured, but you didn’t want to pry. Instead, you repeated your advice as you both approached his door. Because you wanted him to understand. “Seriously. Don’t give up, you hear me?” 

“Don’t give up,” he echoed as he pulled on the handle, like you were just giving him directions. He stilled for a moment in deep concentration before looking your way. Dark eyes bore into yours and you could almost hear them speak, but he gave one final nod and vowed, “Okay.” 

Little striations met you again when you gave Seokjin’s closed room one last look, and you swore they regarded you with pity. Finally breaking, you let your tears fall the whole way back to your floor, wishing to be made into a sturdy tree in your next life so you never had to feel that way again. 

The next morning found all nine friends situated in various places around Seokjin’s room. You thought it amusing that the boys never really settled for normal seats, always choosing a table or windowsill perch instead. As an avid fan of the floor yourself, apparently, you were once again plopped on the ground in front of the sofa. Only this time, you weren’t drowning in the depths of your past.  

“Looks like the snow piled up high last night, so we might not be able to use the cars,” Namjoon observed after his long fingers created a tiny crack in the curtains. His argyle sweater blended in with the burgundy fabric and the sight put a small smile on your face. 

The action surprised you since you spent the whole night swathed in a blanket of regret, your arms caging your ribs in an attempt to stopper your bleeding heart. If only you were so bold as to allow a confession to fall from your lips. Three words to solve two peoples’ problems.  

But the risk involved was too high. The hurt following an unrequited love confession would haunt you through every sunrise and sunset. 

Jungkook’s exasperated voice sliced through your thoughts. “What are we gonna do then?” You glanced at him right as he threw himself onto Seokjin’s bed, bouncing the other two occupants  like buoys amongst waves. 

“What we can do: stay in,” Yoongi responded while repositioning himself against the headboard. 

Taehyung’s sigh mingled with Rin’s tsking noise, Jungkook’s deeper groan almost in harmony with the both of them. Their melancholic concerto almost pulled a laugh out of you, but the next suggestion came from Hoseok, “I brought some board games we could play. Cards, too.” 

Seokjin quickly shot him a look. “You don’t play board games. Or games. Or cards. Actually, what do you do?” 

“I look after all of you.” Hoseok’s head always bobbed when he spoke to accentuate his points. “Hence why I brought board games and cards just in case!” 

You couldn’t refute the man’s claims, either. Hoseok always made sure everyone packed what they needed before trips but brought extra stuff in the event that the group needed something else. Helping was just part of his nature. Yesterday was one example. Rin got the snacks last night, but you were sure he would have woken up at any point in time to be your comfort food delivery man. If being a leader were a sport, Hoseok would be the dark horse that you never saw coming until they finished first. Then you couldn’t deny their talent and skill. 

Taehyung didn’t let the dark horse live, though. “Thanks, hyung. Did you pack a snowblower, too?” 

Rin’s laugh could always be heard amongst your friends, but not because she was a girl. Hers was just so distinct and heartwarming, like a cozy throw or the thought of cookies in the oven. It was only slightly better than Jimin’s. 

Speaking of which: Jimin was eerily quiet throughout the whole meeting, his gaze lingering on you more than once. You noticed it ever since you burst into Seokjin’s room and lauded the man’s scholastic advancement. Which couldn’t be helped. No matter how painful last night’s conversation was, you still wanted him to know how proud you were. After all, a person could be sporting a dagger through their heart but still have love to give.  

You didn’t know why Jimin was acting strange. The big secret was unveiled but you would come to terms with it. Was he afraid of how you would be feeling? Or was he just sympathizing with you because he assumed you weren’t exactly fine? Talking to him later to iron things out was going to be essential. The multiple glances he threw your way proved too much.  

“I have a pamphlet we can look through,” you responded, waving it in the air like a white flag. The decision to bring it just in case proved to be the right one, even if Rin threw a small fit from having to fumble through her bag for the room key again. Warmth from the thick hoodie swallowing both your body and your bent legs validated the first time you went back into your room. 

Rin stuck her tongue out at you but smiled right after in her best Sour Patch Kid impression. Cute. You breathily laughed before unfolding the flimsy paper. Shifting your eyes along the colorful pages, you started listing out the lodge activities. “Okay, so we have… Kayaking: no. Lake yoga: no. Mountain biking: no…” 

Even though the lodge boasted a huge amount of things to do, the majority of them required there to not be four billion inches of snow outside. Only a few remained, and majority rules determined ski slopes the winner. 

The only issue with the slopes was that they only allowed groups of three at a time. To remedy this, groups were formed and a rotation was set based on a heated tournament of rock-paper-scissors. And while Hoseok didn’t play board games, cards, or even video games, he seemed to be a pro at that. 

He picked Seokjin and Yoongi for his group, and they were going out first, to the eldest’s horror. You saw his anxiousness coming from miles out - tackling snow with one board was much more up his alley than tackling it with two. 

Next, Jungkook chose Namjoon and Jimin since he wanted to somehow “win” on the slopes. They gave him much grief for that. 

And that left you with Rin and Taehyung, but they wanted to check out the spa area first, so your group was going to catch up later. 

Which wasn’t ideal for you. You wanted to watch Seokjin ski. Or really, you just wanted to see him as much as possible before the trip ended. Seok in his presence, like he said. Maybe being pruny in this case was a beautiful thing. 

Room Service knocking on the door interrupted your thoughts, and Jimin let them in to serve the breakfast Seokjin ordered for everyone prior. While the dishes were distributed, the group was already firing bets and insults and digs at each other as if a clear winner would emerge outside. And you welcomed every bit of their energy. Chewing on food while basking in everyone’s competitive nature was enough of a distraction from your woes. At least, until you caught Jimin deep in thought again.

The spa was decent, so you three ended up staying for almost an hour. Both the sauna and facial massage served to ease the thick layer of tenseness under your skin. If only you could transport yourself into a cloud of steam every time you thought about Seokjin. Maybe that would’ve helped with the anxiousness and guilt you felt every time you thought about confessing. 

And you were grateful for Taehyung tagging along because he really did offer free hugs often. Even while Rin scanned over the receipt for everything you guys did, the man slung a lean arm around your shoulders. 

His voice glided over your hair when he leaned in to ask, “How did it go last night?” 

You sighed before responding, debating on how to answer him. You decided to take the easy route. “Good. Better than I expected. I just can’t believe it took him that long to tell me! I was so worried this whole time.” 

Taehyung squeezed you gently. “Finally. We kept telling him to just admit it already.” 

Rin was in the middle of paying when you smiled. Her hair gleamed in the incandescents, and you reached out to touch it as you admitted, “It’s just weird that he wanted to hide that from me.” 

“Well, you’re his ex, so he thought it would’ve been awkward.” 

A laugh shot out of you, and Taehyung gave you a look. “Seokjin’s so strange. He knows I’ve been rooting for him this whole time. I mean, Harvard? That’s incredible.” 

Normally, friends would converse about achievements and be sincerely happy about them. But something else happened in that moment that set alarm bells off in your head. Whether it was Rin becoming a block of ice in front of you, or Taehyung slowly peeling his arm off of your shoulders, you suddenly got a feeling that something wasn’t right.  

When Rin spun around to face you, the expression painted on her face reminded you of those Renaissance pieces you saw during one museum date with your ex. Her eyebrows artfully scrunched; her full lips twisted. Was she on the side of the angels, battling demons? Going to war? 

No, she was just trying to clarify something. “He didn’t say anything else?” 

You gulped. “I mean, yeah?”

“What did he say?” Taehyung furrowed his dark brows, his own face a work of art in itself. 

“That his parents are making him move back to Korea when he’s done with his doctorate,” you revealed, suspicious of the both of them and Seokjin now. You kept your tone level to hide any emotions under the surface. “Why, is there more?” 

Once again, you were swept under the wave of confusion. The waters there were dark and cold, and you felt like you couldn’t swim to safety this time. It was as if cotton clogged your ears and a thin film coated your vision. You didn’t even register Taehyung furiously typing on his phone while Rin led you all out of the spa’s reception area. 

“Do you want there to be more,” was all she offered before sitting you down on an earthly toned loveseat. The fluffy rug under your shoes snagged most of your attention. 

“I don’t know how to answer that, but I guess not,” you finally grunted, feeling angrier and angrier from being left in the dark again. Comparable to a disease, this dangerous feeling was taking over you, trickling into your veins drop by black drop. “Honestly, I kinda just want to go back to the room until we meet for dinner. Whatever you guys are hiding is starting to piss me off.” 

“Let’s go,” Rin agreed, urging you to get up and follow her to the room. But you shook her off. 

“I’ll go by myself.” Buzzing with anger, you shuffled through your bag to grip your key. “Just let me be alone for a bit.”

Taehyung looked absolutely livid, but he nodded along with Rin. You didn’t watch the two of them share a knowing glance as you drug your crumpling form to the stairs, hoping pieces of you didn’t crumble off before you reached your temporary bed.  

From the moment your tired bones hit your comforter, time traveled at a strange pace. You didn’t know how long you spent lying prone on the sheets, your head lolled towards the window. Watching the light snowfall outside did nothing to bring you out of your dark space. 

Being left out, confused, and feeling betrayed left you mentally drained. How long were you going to feel like this? Like you were just going to keep being lied to? Maybe you weren’t outwardly lied to, but omitting something was still considered a lie. The truth was still held captive and you couldn’t even pay it a visit. 

Rin and Taehyung reacted strongly to what you said. That had to mean whatever else Seokjin was supposed to say to you was big. You weren’t stupid. At least, that’s what you concluded. 

But what if you were this time? 

You loathed this feeling. You hated being looked at with pity. Even Rin knew what was left unsaid this time, so you were truly alone in the dark. 

A dark monster within you rose to life, and you ripped yourself from the sheets. Snatching your coat from the couch, you jerked your arms inside, striding toward your door with purpose. A ball of fury, you were determined to march up the slopes and confront Seokjin. Everything was getting ridiculous. 

Tugging the door open, you flinched at the figure waiting on the other side. A brief moment of silence and bewilderment and worry washed over you, quelling a small part of your harbored anger. “What happened to you?” 

Seokjin stood in front of you wrapped in his puffy coat, hair in disarray and a small gash on his cheek. His nose was red with the cold and a small cut, and his eyes looked as if he had been holding back tears. Tears? Was he crying? Even now, it seemed like a few were threatening to fall as his gaze lowered. A ghost of a voice wafted from his mouth as he replied, “Jimin.” 

You winced. Remembering the glances the younger man gave you this morning, you should have seen a conflict brewing. Your friend wasn’t lying when he said he’d give Seokjin hell. Something must have broken out when they were on the slopes, or anytime you weren’t there with them. “Shit. I’m sorry.” 

If you didn’t have that revelation with Rin and Taehyung, you would have been absolutely thrown by Seokjin’s appearance and the cause of it. But it seemed that both groups found out what he told you last night and neither were pleased with the result. What that result was, you couldn’t determine yet. But based on your own categories, “I got into Harvard” and “I’m moving back to Korea” fit in the Should Know box. The Deserved to Know box was still accepting applications. 

“Come in.” Your fury had to simmer on a proverbial stove for the time being. “I have a first aid kit in my bag.” 

You hurried him into the room before making a beeline for your duffle. The adrenaline built while you were fired up was still thrumming your bones like guitar strings. Nothing more was said as your bag crinkled with your rummaging, even though you wanted to just wring answers from his neck already. 

But you couldn’t. You needed a moment to collect your thoughts, both the past woes you were fighting and your current worries. 

As Jin awkwardly stood in front of your bed, you kept pondering. What the hell happened out there? How did it end up in a physical altercation? Did Jin fight back? It was already obvious Jimin initiated it, but you wondered if he sported any bruises, too. Not from Seokjin, though. Because you couldn’t ever see him throwing a punch. You were more curious about someone like Yoongi. The elder one was incredibly protective of Jin.

When you found the kit, you spun around to start tending to your ex’s face. “Bed,” you ordered, pointing towards yours with the first aid box. Your tone was harsh, but you weren’t holding it back.

The man was silent as he delicately sat on the comforter, and you instantly noticed how he refused to look at you still. 

No matter. Treating his cuts was a priority, but that didn’t mean you weren’t going to force him into confrontation right after. Seokjin wasn’t going to have a choice. 

Perching yourself next to him, you propped one leg up to steady yourself, clicking open the small kit next to you. It wasn’t as fancy as the one he carried along, but it housed the basics. Fetching some antiseptic and cotton first, you told him to turn towards you so that you could start. 

And despite your anger, your exasperation, your frustration, the hands you lifted to Seokjin’s face were nothing but calm. 

Throughout the time you dusted his cuts, you kept your gaze on his cheek, his mouth, his nose. A wall erected around you that you refused to take down. After all of the hurt Seokjin had caused, the turmoil he had put you through, it was pertinent you wouldn’t let him in. You had your soldiers’ arrows at the ready, directed right at his wounded face. 

But if you so much as flitted your gaze toward his eyes, your walls would crumble to dust. Your gates would slam open in surrender. 

Because having him this close to you after all this time was like coming home. And you harbored that feeling ever since the scent of his cologne consumed you. Your face hovered inches from his, your fingers gently pressing his features. All of the nights you yearned to be this close were so lonely and cold, and his warmth was tugging your heart by multiple strings. 

His looming absence was hitting you deeply then. If you gave in only to lose him again, the pain would surely hollow out your soul until you were a mere shell of yourself. You wanted nothing more than to sink into the mattress and slip down into the soil underneath the lodge. 

Suddenly, a hand cradled your cheek, and you shook on impact. Without thinking, you locked eyes with Jin, and it was then that you realized he was wiping hot tears from your face. 

“If I’m the reason for these,” he whispered, “I’m sorry.” 

Something strangled escaped you, and you finally caved. “You are,” you exhaled, unable to stop the tears from falling. “You really are.”

You tore yourself from the bed, instantly feeling the lingering warmth of his fingers fade. A chasm was created between you two: your chest heaving on one side and his face crumbling on the other. The mountain of thoughts and feelings you created broke down under pressure, emotions roaring down its slopes in a cathartic avalanche. “I’ve been looking like a fool this whole trip, and apparently everyone is feeling so fucking sorry for me. Why can’t you just tell me everything? What did Yoongi mean? What do I deserve to know? You told me you got into Harvard and have the audacity to say you aren’t happy? What the hell is that about? We’re supposed to be friends, so why am I feeling like you’re letting that all go?” You choked on your tears and clasped a hand over your mouth, a burn blossoming in your chest from the dry sobs. 

Seokjin’s eyes ringed with a burgeoning shade of pink, both of his pupils glossed in guilt. “I’m not… I’m not letting that go, but--”

“But what, Seokjin,” you gritted out, “Please stop and just tell me already.” 

“But I was too scared,” he admitted, “I’m still scared.” 

“Why are you scared?” The question drifted to his face, and you could tell he was struggling to answer even that one. It pained you to be this close yet so far from the answer.

“Why are you scared, Seokjin,” you whispered again, realizing that his hands were shaking. 

“Because…” You watched as he clenched them on his thighs, and he struggled to get the words out. “Because it’s going to happen again.” 

Enough with the obscurity. Frustration reached a boiling point. “What’s going to happen again?” 

“Exactly what happened last time!” Seokjin declared as his eyes pleaded with you, eyebrows furrowed and kneeling in anguish. The skin encasing his watery eyes remained that same dusty shade of affliction. 

You couldn’t for the life of you understand what he was saying, until you remembered last night. When you asked him about the time he loved before. 

Wait.

Your hand made a slow descent from your face as you matched Seokjin’s stare. A million words skittered across your eyes, transforming into liquid and sliding down your skin. You were sure you looked an absolute wreck with your tear-stained cheeks and reddened nose, but that didn’t concern you at all. The only thing you could hang onto was Jin’s words, just short of a confession. 

But you had to be sure. You weren’t settling for five words that could mean a thousand other things while arranged the same way. “The one from before,” you more stated than questioned, “Where is she now.” 

Seokjin never broke his gaze, doing an incredible job of keeping tears at the edges of his eyes. Heavy breaths caused his chest to swell with each pass. Voice low, he finally, finally caved, “She’s the one on the polaroid I have in my room.” 

The entire conversation from last night struck you like a freight train. So many realizations hit you at once and you didn’t know how your trembling legs were keeping you upright. 

It was you. He was talking about you. 

Your coat smothered your limbs like a cage, your whole being rattling inside like an animal starved. 

That was what he was truly hiding from you. That was what he had buried deep down into his chest. And you couldn’t blame him one bit after you realized it was exactly what you were holding from him, too. 

No matter the reason, you still kept your own truth hidden. It occurred to you then that you couldn’t be angry - that would just be hypocrisy. There was bravery in confession, and even more so to someone you no longer were allowed to feel that way about. 

You were the one that forced the truth out of Seokjin, and now you only felt like a coward. 

Movement in front of you snapped your vision back into focus. He was getting up to leave. Why was he leaving? 

“I knew this would happen,” he said, his voice strained. “I’ll go. I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable.” 

Oh. He assumed your silence was from guilt. Guilt that you didn’t feel the same. And he was about to walk out with that egregious misconception. What an absolute fool.

But no matter how hard you tried, the words wouldn’t budge from the back of your teeth. 

You had two choices here. One, you told him. You laid everything out and you admitted that you felt the same. Then tomorrow, he would leave your life and you may not see him again for years. And you tried this before - being in two separate schools and living different lives while holding onto your relationship. It obviously didn’t work last time, and you still saw him from time to time. This situation would be a thousand times harder. 

Which brought you to the second option: you let him go. You let him leave without telling him how you felt. Rip the bandage off right there and then. Leave him to pursue his dream, and with that the freedom to go and find someone else to love. Was that what you wanted? Was this your own sick version of loving him? All the villains in the universe would applaud you as you lied to his face while telling him not to give up. How fucking cruel would that be?

“Seokjin,” you called out, and your chest subtly heaved when he turned to stone by the door. His broad back remained still as you took a step towards him, and only after you roamed your eyes over his shoulders did you notice small movements. But he didn’t face you. It was almost as if he didn’t want to.

Agony consumed your entire being as you made your decision. 

You shut your eyes, clenched your jittering fingers into hard fists. 

“See you at the campfire,” you whispered, your voice unfamiliar even to yourself. 

The only response you got was the soft opening and closing of your door.

Compared to last night’s lion of a snow storm, tonight was but a mere cub. There were small flakes here and there taking their time to descend, and the fixtures from inside the lodge were the only light source beside the fire pit you were approaching downstairs. 

Situated in the center of your friends, the flames danced across their jovial smiles as they passed bottles around. The drinks weren’t the lodge’s, but the ones you all brought and snuck out of the rooms - the telltale green glass was enough of a hint. 

After Seokjin left, it took you a couple minutes to let everything out, and about thirty minutes crying into Rin’s shoulder once she witnessed your crumpled form on the floor. She listened to your recap of the conversation and Jin’s final secret, and through broken sobs you told her you couldn’t tell him yours. When she asked why, you told her your reasoning. When she called you an idiot, you wholeheartedly agreed and cried even harder. 

But you still stuck with your decision. It was for the best. You loved him so much that you wanted what was best for him, and that was to let you go. 

“Promise me one thing,” Rin murmured, earning a nod from you. “Only go through with it if you know you won’t regret it.” 

A sharp pain sliced through you then, but you acquiesced. “I won’t.” 

She then grabbed your Polaroid from the bed. It was Namjoon’s idea to bring it to the campfire once he heard you brought it on the trip. “Are you okay with this?” 

“Yeah,” you gulped, regarding the old piece of the past with heavy eyes. Seokjin confessed to you with the help of that camera. You weren’t okay with the mere idea of touching it. “Yeah, it’s fine. I want everyone to enjoy themselves tonight, so. Yes.” 

Even if that meant you suffered. This was Seokjin’s last trip with everyone, not just you. Why keep them from making good memories just because you were a walking dark cloud?

You reached the bottom of the rickety stairs, the squeaky noises catching the attention of the boys. Most of them raised their bottles to you, but you caught Jin staring at the fire instead. 

If you got through this night in one piece, it would be a miracle.

Namjoon stood as you and Rin settled into your seats. “Okay. Since we’re all here now, I say we start.” 

As everyone gave their cheers, the eldest just looked confused. “Start what?”

“Something for you,” Yoongi explained, his body already comfortable in his Adirondack. “Since you aren’t joining us for these anymore.”

“Ah, yah,” Seokjin protested, “You don’t need to do anything—”

“Don’t lie, you already love this,” Jimin cut in, all smiles despite the companion bruises and cuts on his face to Jin’s. “Although, your opinion may change in a second.”

Jungkook paused his leg bouncing to shout, “Let hyung explain!” 

You smiled as the group settled, but noticed that Jimin was looking at you strangely. You didn’t have time to process it, though, since Namjoon headed things off while a bottle rested against his chest, “Jin-hyung. We just want you to know that we’re proud of you. Even though we may not see you for awhile, you’ll be in our hearts and on our minds. Starting tomorrow, you’re already Dr. Kim to us, so I say we all call you by name tonight.”

Laughter and claps filled the air, drowning out Seokjin’s weak protests. 

Namjoon cleared his throat to calm the air, and you watched small flakes catch in his hair as he continued, “We’ll each do two things: give you advice, and ask for advice. Since you’re clearly educated, we figured you’d have a lot to say.”

“Oh, I’m just lucky.” 

“And keep sharp, everyone. Miss Photographer over there will be taking pictures.” Namjoon nodded at you, and you gave a short smile while holding up the Polaroid. You were fine doing this; behind the lens was your safe space. 

The boys and Rin slowly got through their questions and advice, and you were shocked by how insightful Seokjin was being. You never truly realized the magnitude of his intelligence. Every person around the campfire hung on his every word, and it didn’t help that you all took a swig after every good point he made - many, many times. You diligently fired away on your camera, making sure to get Seokjin with everyone so they could all have a moment captured with him. 

When Jimin’s turn came, he shot you a glance before looking at your ex. “Jin. That sounds weird to say. Jin-hyung.” He looked at the ground before continuing, and you knew it was to compose himself. “My advice to you… Sorry,” he buried his head in his elbow for a brief moment. Yoongi looked away. 

“I kinda gave you advice already,” Jimin trudged on, “And you took it. So, my next piece of advice would be to, uh, keep going.” 

You were rooted to your chair. Seokjin didn’t spare you a single glance during that exchange, but you knew it was about you. It had to be how he ended up at your door earlier. He even said Jimin was the one responsible for his wounds. 

“Thank you, Jimin,” Jin replied. “As for my advice to you, it’s okay to let people figure things out on their own. You don’t have to put it on yourself to be the one that keeps people together. If something ends up breaking, you’re going to think it’s your fault.” 

Jimin regarded him with watery eyes before nodding and wiping his freezing tears. And when he looked your way, he saw you only looking at Seokjin. Your face was slowly cracking, and the shadows in your facade were exacerbated by the flames. 

It was your turn; everyone else went. The Polaroid felt like a boulder on your thighs.

You blinked before setting the camera down and clutching your bottle. Since Seokjin was on the other side of the fire, you had to stand to see him, your tenseness on full display. 

What could you possibly say in that moment that he wanted to hear? That he was willing to listen to? You were certain you took his heart and slammed it into the ground earlier. It would be better if you just didn’t say anything. 

“Seokjin,” you started, pausing to collect yourself. “My advice to you is to forget the advice I gave you before.” 

Several pairs of eyes looked at you then. Even Jin finally regarded you, the most aware of what you were referring to.

“What I’m trying to say is: it’s okay to give up sometimes, because not everything that you want to happen is going to happen. There will be times you will just have to let things go. And that’s okay. Because maybe letting things go would end up for the best.” 

Jimin’s eyes bore into your soul. He sat so still that it put all the statues throughout history to shame. 

Seokjin grabbed his bottle with both hands, elbows resting on his knees. “Interesting advice.” His eyes danced as they took in the warm flames. “I might even follow it.” 

Both of your lungs threatened to give out at his words. Your hands almost dropped the glass you were barely clinging to, but you never looked away from Jin. It was as if your attention was chained to his body, your soul weighed down by his earlier confession and now his possible break. 

If he followed your advice, shouldn’t you be happy? It’s what you wanted in the end, right? You would let him go, and he wouldn’t look back. 

Snow drifted onto everyone’s chairs and the fire crackled in front of you. A small breath left you in a wisp of white. Warmth did its best to help you, but the cold was too strong. No amount of fire in the world could melt your icy conscience - you truly left Seokjin in the dark. He practically admitted that he loved you, and in return you gave him nothing. Of course he would consider your advice.  

“But I like the sound of not giving up. It has a ring to it that exists beyond the sound it makes when someone says it,” he cut himself off, the silence deafening. Inside, bells rang in your head. What was he implying? Seokjin’s voice was as clear as blue skies when he continued, “So, I guess I’m stealing your advice and giving it to everyone here.” 

Your gaze shifted to the side as everyone turned towards Seokjin. This was something you weren’t prepared to digest. Settling back down into your chair, you tried to even out your breathing and neutralize your shaking fingers. 

Your feelings were warring with each other in a confusing battle. If you wanted him to follow your advice, why were you relieved when he said he liked not giving up? Did that mean you hoped he still waited for you? Years and years and years from now? 

“Take it from me: don’t give up,” he advised. “But what I mean by that is to not give up until you’re happy.” 

Guilt squeezed your eyes shut, clamping your lids down. He was going to wait. Love was the one thing he wanted to be happy. And you held your love for him tightly in your hands, behind your back and hidden from sight. 

But even still, in the midst of your silent rejection, this man wasn’t letting go. Without saying the words, Seokjin was going to wait for you. Because he still loved you. 

This was too hard. 

“To being happy,” Jimin boisterously cheered, startling everyone and causing your bones to rattle. His glass remained high in the air, and everyone joined in with their own proclamations. 

“To being happy,” you whispered alongside the others, quickly taking a swig.

Yoongi was the next one to pipe up as he declared, “Okay, now that all that’s done, let’s just drink for fuck’s sake.” 

Amongst the laughter and “thank god”s thrown about, you quickly downed the rest of your drink like it was your lifeline. You needed more than liquid courage to get through the rest of the night. The camera by your feet was snatched up by Jungkook before Taehyung could get to it, and you prayed to every higher power that they kept it in one piece. 

As everyone made their way back to their rooms, you noticed Seokjin joking and laughing with the others like normal. It was a continuation of the rest of the night, since after the advice conversation it was nothing but fun. Your Polaroid almost ran out of film, for one, but watching everyone fight over the photos was entertainment in itself. There were digs toward Jin until he turned red, jabs thrown at Jimin’s fragile emotional state, and Rin’s warm laughter coating everything in a soft glow. 

And it was a bittersweet event. There was nothing more you wanted than to capture that moment and place it in a snowglobe. The world wouldn’t interfere with your friends, and none of you would ever leave. 

Seokjin was about to head up the stairs to tuck in for the night. Full of soju and stupidity, you blurted, “Leaving already?” 

He stilled before turning toward you. “Oh. Yeah.” He regarded you with a look you couldn’t completely decipher. “Long day tomorrow.” 

“Right,” you replied, hating the sudden hollowness you felt. Or didn’t feel. 

“Well… Good night.” Seokjin tapped the banister twice before heading up, and you softly wished him good night before speedwalking to your room. You were only tipsy, so the fast trip didn’t bother you. The camera in your hands kept your center balanced the whole way back.

By some strange miracle, you kept it together the whole time after everyone’s campfire speeches. You imagined yourself as an ice sculpture, surrounded by the guests of honor. Everyone gave you a glance and thought nothing else of you. They could only see composure and poise. Only when they got closer could they see you slowly melting, rivulets of remorse cascading down your entire frame.

Rin was in the middle of her skincare routine when you entered your room. As soon as she heard your footsteps, she made a noise indicating she had something to say. The product around her mouth didn’t let her yet, though. Which meant you had to wait. 

You stood in the doorframe of the bathroom, vision spinning just a smidge. This was probably a talk you didn’t want to have, but you gave your friend her podium. It was only fair. Her serious talks were few and far between. 

But she didn’t have much to say when she finished getting ready for bed. In fact, she only said three sentences. 

“It’s 11 o’clock,” she stated plainly, her tone indicating she was done with the calmer approach. Bluntness was more her style. 

“Okay?” 

“We leave at 7 in the morning.” 

“And?” 

“It means you have eight hours to decide how you’re going to feel for the next ten years.” 

Silence. 

All you could respond with was silence. 

Dead air. Sober. You were sober now. In that moment, you may have held your breath for a century. Too many thoughts flooded your brain, from past memories at a carnival to future images of an empty apartment with a bed fit for one. 

It was stark. Blank. There wasn’t going to be a future with Seokjin, no matter what you said. 

But when Rin put it that way, would you feel better if he knew the truth? Or would you keep this idiotic stance and lock your feelings away forever? 

For the third time that night, your fingers rattled. Rin took them into her comforting palms. 

“Go,” she murmured, and she smiled as she witnessed you burst into the hall. 

Your strides were incredibly long as you hurried down the corridor. The doors blurred on either side of your vision, the pattern of the floor elongated with your fast pace. Your camera thudded into your chest over and over. Step after step after step got faster and faster as your anxiousness bubbled into your brain. The last turn before the stairs made you skid, and you rushed up the rickety steps. Your heart was thrumming, scratching at your chest to set it free. 

When you got to his door, you were certain you woke sleeping neighbors with your rapid knocking. But you couldn’t stop yourself. Nothing could possibly stop you now.

You had no plan. There wasn’t time to think. All you wanted was to see him. All you could think about was letting everything out. Eight hours. You had eight hours.

Seokjin tugged the door open, pausing mid-swing when he saw your face. He looked so beautiful. Full of warmth. Like home.

“Jinnie.” 

You didn’t mean to call him that, but you didn’t take it back. You weren’t taking anything back anymore. His eyes roamed over your features multiple times, searching for any indication that this was a dream. But it wasn’t. The words finally slipped from your lips. 

“I’m not following your advice. Or my own.” 

His eyebrows furrowed, but you pushed on. 

“I’m giving up. But I’m giving up because I can’t let you go.” When Seokjin stared at you, it was impossible to look away. 

His response came out in a rush, “What are you… what are you saying?”

“I’m saying I love you.” You huffed out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “Damn it, I— I just love you. I love you so much it hurts.” 

A shaky exhale left you at the look on his face. The quick descent into realization formed in the corners of his eyes, tears pooled at the edges before quickly streaming down his cheeks, collecting at the crux of his chin. Glassy orbs bore straight into your soul in search of answers, of truth. And if he wanted those answers, you already admitted the biggest one, so words were easier to come by.

“I’ve felt this way ever since our trip last year,” you started, slowly inching toward the wreck of a man. Not like you fared any better with the streaks forming on your own cheeks. “And I know it’s the stupidest thing to tell you now since you’re leaving, and we failed at long distance before, but--” 

Seokjin breathed out your name, and his next words would stay imprinted in your mind forever. “I still want to try. And I’ll try as many times as you’ll let me.” 

“I know. I know that now,” you whispered. 

Passion and warmth bloomed in your chest, spiraling out into the far reaches of your limbs. Hundreds of nights imagining him accepting you again didn’t prepare you for this feeling. Nothing was holding you back; your walls came crashing down. 

You finally broke and shielded your face in your hands, and you felt sturdy arms shield you from the world. The cruel, beautiful world that brought you two together right before he disappeared from your life again. You cried, and sobbed, and wheezed. The elation from his confession only magnified the pain of his departure. 

You felt the weight of the Polaroid leave your chest as Seokjin lifted it from your neck. “Come inside,” Seokjin whispered into your hair, earning a hiccup from your chest. “Please.” 

It was only then that you noticed you were still out in the hall. A small nod from you was all he needed to guide you into his room, and your throat constricted at the bags lying open on the bed. 

Seokjin was already packing. Packing while thinking he was going to go through the same thing he went through last time. You felt absolutely sick. How could you even think of doing this to him? If there was a way to make it all up to him, you would do it. “I didn’t want to tell you before,” you confessed, burying your nose into his chest. “But that was wrong of me. You almost left without knowing. I’m so sorry.” 

Strong, lean fingers traveled through your hair as your camera was placed on a table. The heavy clunk it made reached your ears, and a whisper followed. “I didn’t want to tell you, either. You don’t need to apologize.” 

“If I told you earlier, we would’ve had more time. Now I’m just sad.”  

“Look at me.” Jin caressed the back of your head, naturally lifting your gaze. His watery eyes took yours in, and he leaned forward to kiss the top of your hair. “We still have tonight, so if we’re going to be sad, let’s wait until after.” 

“But you’re crying, too,” you observed, feeling slightly better from his words. How Seokjin was able to have that effect on you, you would never understand. 

A light huff from him made you melt. “That’s because I’m so happy,” he confessed, softly laughing again and wiping his eyes with both hands. 

He was happy. Seokjin was happy. You looked at the growing smile under his fingers, and you had no choice but to grin and join in his laughter. 

Not because it was funny. But because it was unbelievable. You were able to gift him the last piece he was missing - he was finally able to find that happiness. How were you about to deny that from him? Now it seemed unfathomable.

When you looked at his hands again, you noticed there were lingering cuts. Worry washing over you, you cradled one in your palms and asked as Seokjin looked at you, “Should I take care of this, too?” Though the man had more than enough knowledge on playground injury care, you still offered because you wanted to be there for him in any possible way.

He replied instantly, “I took care of everything. Jimin, too. You saw him being his usual self earlier.” 

“He said he’d give you hell if you didn’t talk to me on this trip. I didn’t think he would go this far, though.” You reached up to run a thumb along the small gash on Seokjin’s cheek, the blood drying into a deep red. “I’ll make him regret it later.” 

Jin leaned into your touch, causing sparks in your skin. “Don’t,” he whispered, “He’s the reason I ended up at your door.” 

You just nodded and lost yourself in the feel of his soft face. It was incredibly smooth under your fingers, even better than when you held his cheeks all those years ago. To think that this man loved you ever since then, and continued to do so until now, was unbelievable. But it was true, and no amount of words could account for how you felt about that. 

Those eyes overflowing with adoration and affection were solely for you, and diving into them felt like being immersed in sunlit waters. 

“Can I kiss you?” 

The simple question took you by surprise, but you gazed at his lips. They only looked inviting, so who were you to deny him? “Please,” you sighed, and your eyelids closed shut at his pillowy touch. 

Color sprang from your heart at his confession, but heat burst from your chest at his kiss. The moment his lips met yours, every worry wrapped around your conscience snapped in two. Vines of doubt, regret, and anxiety withered under the warmth of Seokjin’s touch. It was cleansing. Powerful. Searing. 

A hand captured the back of your neck, and Jin took advantage of your gasp by dragging his tongue around the edge of your lips, a wordless plea to let him in. You gave in immediately, leaning forward and deepening the kiss, roping his tongue and eliciting a groan. 

Heat rushed between your legs and you echoed his sound with a soft moan of your own. Unwittingly, your hands found their way to Seokjin’s chest and you reveled in the feel of him under the thin material of his shirt. Without breaking your lips from his, you skirted the cotton hem with your fingers.  

Jin knew what you wanted, and his grin against your mouth only made you flush with desire. He broke from your lips to fully remove his shirt, and seeing his bare chest wiped the air from your lungs. You could only stare as you took in the lines of his solid build, wondering how the hell he had the time to achieve that look. 

Seokjin smirked at your reaction, tossing his top and hauling the bags off his bed while you were taking time to process everything. “Do I need to charge you?” 

You shook your empty head like a zombie. Your brain was currently mush, purely focused on the way his muscles rippled and slid against the confines of his skin. “No, don’t. I didn’t bring any money with me.” 

Laughter erupted from the other side of the bed. After Seokjin placed the last bag on the floor, he straightened and clarified, “I meant plug you in. You seem to be buffering over there. Low battery?”

“Shut up and get on the bed,” you teased, shrugging off the coat you still had on. You didn’t even get to change since coming in from the campfire. 

“Shut up and get on the bed, yes,” Seokjin fired back mercilessly as he sat on the comforter. He knew exactly how to push you. Even though you laughed, you made you way over to him and stood between his legs. 

You were silent then. No matter how happy you were, his departure tomorrow was weighing on you. The time you had with him was short. 

You wanted to make the most of it. Bringing your hand up to his face, you made sure to lightly skim over his gashes before mapping the rest. You wanted to ingrain every curve, every dip, every feature into memory. Every second was precious. The polaroid you had of him would still be no match for the real thing. If only you could capture the warmth of someone and keep it frozen in time.

Sure fingers clasped your hand, and Seokjin softly pulled you closer. Your first instinct was to rush in and hug him for dear life, and he immediately did the same to you, snatching the breath from your lungs and tugging tears from your ducts. You buried your face into his neck, inhaling his familiar scent and lamenting all the time you spent worrying over the smallest things. 

“We don’t have a lot of time,” Seokjin whispered, squeezing your heart. 

“I know,” you choked. You didn’t have much else to say.

“I just want to make sure we use it to do what you want.” 

You loosened your hold on him, astonished by his consideration. The growing bulge under his pants was more than screaming his wants. You felt it ever since the first kiss. But even still, he wanted to accommodate you. Your needs before his. 

It just made you fall for him even more. 

Reaching down to skim your fingers along his cock straining against his pants, you hovered your lips over his neck. “I want you,” you whispered before descending upon the smooth expanse of skin and earning a groan. 

Without warning, Seokjin tightened his arms around you. In one smooth motion, he effortlessly lifted you to straddle his thighs. You didn’t have time to think as he followed up with grabbing your head, pulling you down for another heated kiss. Your fingers latched onto his shoulders, scraping them when he thrust his tongue into your mouth. 

“Don’t do that yet,” he grunted, and you didn’t need to ask why after feeling a twitch in his jeans. 

You obeyed for the time being, cupping his neck with both hands. When you rolled your body against his, the hard feel of his stomach made you whimper. It was when you settled back on his hardness that your eyes widened. You were sure he was aching despite his silence. Maybe you could help him out a bit. “Jinnie,” you whispered, a firm hand on his chest, “Lie back for me.” 

“I love hearing that again,” Seokjin admitted through a content smile, starting a fire across your cheeks. He leaned back after giving you another peck, and you plucked yourself from his thighs to take your shoes off. 

But time was your biggest motivator to strip most of your clothes at that moment - not just your boots. Your pants were first, followed by your sweater, and finally your shirt. The whole time, Seokjin stayed propped on his elbows, watching you intently. He couldn’t hide the adoration in his eyes even if he tried. As he watched you stand there in nothing but your set, he smiled. “You’re beautiful.” 

“Thank you,” you whispered in return. “Still not as great as you, though.” You started unbuttoning his jeans before he could defend his stance, and he lifted his lower body to help you shrug them off with his underwear. When Seokjin’s thick cock sprung free, your heart jumped at the sight. It had been so long since you felt it, tasted it, rode it. Was he thinking the same? Taking his velvety length in your hand for the first time in a long time, you felt a burst of confidence at its familiarity and his response.

“Baby,” he groaned, running a hand through his hair. “Please.” 

You didn’t need another word. At the sound of the familiar pet name, you already started hovering over his cock, admiring how pretty it was before diving in. Licking around the head, you used the slick to glide your mouth far down his shaft, rolling your hand along the bottom to coat the rest. 

Seokjin jolted at the sudden pleasure, and you felt a pang in your heart. You wanted him to remember this night. And you were much more experienced than you were before, though you would only get so much time to prove your growth. 

Coming up for air, you used your hand to gather the rest of your spit and slide it down his cock, rubbing it a few times before diving down again. The stilted, garbled noises coming from your filled mouth were even getting your own underwear soaked, but they weren’t a match for Seokjin’s. His delicious grunts and moans sent you close to the edge. They were deeper than you remembered, and he wasn’t one to shy away from showing you how turned on and pleasured he was feeling.

The prominent veins of his cock were the roads along which your tongue traveled, and you made sure to love them all in between stuffing him fully in your warm mouth. He was so big, but you wanted to take every inch, tears welling in your eyes with your efforts. 

You fought through even when you felt him rock the back of your throat. Seokjin took that moment to sit up, causing tears to leak fully down your cheeks at the deeper thrust. His hands dove into your hair, but he didn’t force your head down. Instead, they tugged you off his cock, and he gazed down lovingly at your wrecked expression. Jin’s voice dipped an octave and came out coated in sin as he asked, “Can you go a little more for me, beautiful?” 

Your body tingled on instinct. You nodded and, when he smiled, you gripped his drenched dick in your fingers before descending your mouth onto his balls. Seokjin bucked his hips forward in a jolt as you grinned, lapping at his salty skin and delighting in the tremulous groans rolling down your back. Your hand squeezed the tip of his shaft before you straightened again, taking his cock captive without pause.

“Shit,” he grunted, his long fingers diving into your hair. His hands still didn’t push you down further, oddly, so you took the initiative and plunged down yourself. 

The feel of his cock in your mouth was so familiar. It was almost second nature how easily you sucked him off, knowing when to hollow your cheeks and pull him further down the abyss of ecstasy. When to sink further and hum, ripping a delicious sound from his throat. Even when to bob and swirl your head around, effectively shutting down his ability to function. 

It was then that you chose to really bring it home. You breathed through your nose as you took more and more of him in, even after you couldn’t breathe anymore. You felt your nose hit this pubic bone, and the long moan you got from Seokjin was worth the burn in your throat. His fingers tightened around your head, but when you came up gasping for air he didn’t stop you. 

“Come here,” is all he said, tugging you up to straddle him again. A trail of saliva swung from your lips as you came up, but you paid it no mind. If anything, it added to the building lust inside your bones. Your panties were absolutely drenched by now, so dragging your core along Seokjin’s cock caused both of you to twinge. “Fuck,” he gasped, fueling your heat. 

“Jinnie, please,” you whimpered, your voice hoarse. You wanted everything from him at once. You were getting impatient, and the overwhelming time pressure was stressing you the hell out. “I need you, please.” 

Suddenly, everything stopped as Seokjin cradled your chin and swiped the spit from your lips. “You have me,” he assured you. “You have all of me.” He kissed your nose. “And you’ll have me for a very long time.” 

Relenting, you leaned into his touch. “Now is what I’m concerned about.” 

“I know,” he agreed before kissing you again. “I just wanted you to know the rest.” 

“Okay,” you whispered before capturing his full lips with your own. When you felt him wrapping his arms around you, your heart leaped into your throat. When you felt him shift the both of you to lower you onto the bed, you already knew fresh tears were waiting behind your eyes. 

With great care, Jin slipped your underwear off your smooth legs. Your bra was deftly unhooked next - not without an eyebrow raise from you and a wink from him - and tossed from the bed. 

Staring at your naked form, Seokjin appeared completely lost in thought. It got to the point where you felt like covering yourself, but when you attempted to he swiftly denied any insecurity. “Don’t keep this from me,” he whispered. “I want to remember everything.” 

You kept it together until then. Something in you broke and you softly choked on a cry. So he was thinking the same as you. This was the last night for a long time. 

Starting from your shoulder, he kissed his way down along your neck, your collarbone, your chest. Taking one breast in one hand, he swirled his tongue around the nipple of the other. You gasped from the sudden burst of pleasure, which made Seokjin repeat the motion on the other side. He then lightly sucked on the nipple, releasing it with a small pop. 

You wanted to close your eyes and lose yourself in the waves of pleasure he was giving you, making his way down your body. But you wanted to relive this night again and again. So you had to keep your eyes on him. Only him. His mouth’s searing heat as it kissed along your stomach, and the stark cold left behind when he moved on. His soft touch as he gently pried your legs open, and dark, lust-filled eyes as he stared at your dripping entrance. You wanted to remember the way he kissed along your legs, nipping in some places to make you gasp. The way his beautiful lips connected with your heat in a reverent kiss before his tongue explored inside. Each flick of his tongue, squeeze of his fingers on your legs, noise from his lips. How you loved him through every second of him worshipping you. 

As soon as he brought his fingers up to caress your folds while sucking on your clit, you had to stop him. It was too much. You wanted to feel him when you broke. 

Seokjin wordlessly obeyed as he crawled above you. You pulled him down for a kiss, not caring how he tasted. Your hands then went to his shoulders as he positioned himself at your entrance. 

“Are you still…” 

“Yes,” you nodded, touched that he remembered. “I’m still on it.” 

“Okay.” He swooped down to capture your lips, and when you clenched your fingers around his shoulders, he grunted. “Are you okay to take it all?” 

“Go slow. For now,” you said, earning a nod. “It’s been awhile.”

Seokjin’s gaze was heavy as he prepared himself. “Same.” 

At the initial push, you whooshed out a gasp. It had been way too long since you’d been with someone. The intrusion indeed hurt. Maybe you should have let him prep you more, in hindsight. But Seokjin was nothing but tender as he waited for you to adjust. Once you were okay, he steadily pushed out and in again, going deeper. Slowly but surely, you were able to fully take him in. 

And the feel of him completely inside you was nothing like you’ve felt before. It was comfort. It was home. It was a perfect fit, and you wanted to stay like that forever. 

“God,” Seokjin groaned, “I don’t want to leave this room.” 

You chuckled, rolling your hips. “Hmm, pussy or Harvard. That’s a pretty tough one.” 

“If it’s yours, Harvard can wait,” Seokjin grunted before sending your thoughts spiraling with a huge thrust. You outright whined at him, but he pulled out only to spear you again with one long motion. “You still like it rough, baby?” 

Chills cascaded down your spine and pooled at the apex of your toes. This was the Seokjin you were waiting for. You wondered if he was still into that after witnessing everything he was doing for you beforehand. But oh, were you ready for the pivot. “Fuck, yes,” you moaned. “You know I do.” 

“You still have your word?” 

“Carousel, yes.” 

“Good girl.” That was all Seokjin needed. Grabbing the top of the headboard behind you, he launched into a rough and relentless pace that had you seeing stars. You felt so full, yet so weightless as you let your body go limp. The feel of Seokjin’s cock slamming into you repeatedly would continue to exist for months after tonight, the ridges of it sliding along your walls never forgotten entirely. You needed as much as he could give, and he knew that. 

Gripping one of your legs, he hauled it over his sweat-slicked shoulder and tilted himself to reach a deeper position, twisting his reddened face to plant kisses on your ankle. Mewl after mewl tumbled from your lips at the deep thrusts. 

“Touch yourself for me, baby,” Jin commanded while still pounding into you, and you wouldn’t dream of disobeying. Your fingers went straight for your jiggling breasts, teasing your nipples and tugging them for his blown out eyes. You moaned, and smirked when you saw Seokjin beginning to lose himself. 

His tell was his scrunched eyebrows, and his eyes shifting down to watch his cock ram into your tight cunt. You still knew, after years. 

You fell into complete ecstasy when he reached down with his free hand to rub your clit between your bodies, loving the way the veins in his arms protruded. Imagining licking along them all made you moan. And you didn’t care if the people around you heard. All of your mewls, moans, whines - they were all for Jin. He could have all of you again and again.  

After one particularly deep thrust, he tugged his cock out, leaving your walls fluttering around an agonizing emptiness. “Turn around. On your knees.” 

“Holy fuck, yes,” you rasped. He wasn’t letting the night go to waste at all. 

Before you even assumed the next position, you felt a hand come down on your ass. The smack jolted you forward in pain, with pleasure settling in its wake. 

“So pretty,” Seokjin whispered, ghosting his hand over the spot he spanked. He gave it another smack before gripping your ass cheeks apart. You assumed he was roving his eyes over your drenched core. “And still so wet.” 

“Just for you,” you affirmed. 

“Just for me,” he repeated before adjusting his knees on the bed to get closer. “But you might be too loud tonight, baby. I’m going to need silence from you this time.” 

Shit. You were never, ever good at this part. But you nodded. What you weren’t expecting right away was the initial stroke to be rough, right down to the hilt. You cried out immediately, earning you a harsh spank. 

Seokjin’s sudden laugh made you chuckle in embarrassment. He breathily joked, “Out of practice?” 

“Something like that,” you admitted, your elbows and grin lost in the sheets. “I’m rusty.” 

“Okay, let’s just do this then.” Jin leaned forward, stretching over you. You groaned at the feel of his solid chest on your soft back, your eyes rolling into your head feeling him completely mold into you for a moment. He got a fluffy pillow from the other side of the bed and let your head rest on it. “Can you bite this for me, my love?” 

The new name spread wildfire across your face. “Yes. That I can do,” you assured him. When you had the material securely in your mouth, you nodded to signal he could continue. 

“Good girl.” And continue Seokjin did. He went right back into the dominant Jin he loved being, and the one you loved being with. There was no mercy in his thrusts, stroke after stroke after stroke. If you lifted your back a little or lowered your butt, he smacked your supple flesh and corrected you instantly. “Ass up, baby.” 

With Jin’s relentless pace, your body went limp and hung on by a thread. Loosening up allowed for even more of his cock, and your muffled moans started getting louder the closer and closer you got to the edge. You could feel your core tightening, threatening to unleash the pent up tension. 

“That’s it, beautiful,” Seokjin praised, feeling your walls squeeze around him. “Do you want to come like this?”

You hastily shook your head. You wanted to see him when you came. And if you remembered correctly, he loved seeing your face when it happened, as well.

“Too bad,” he chuckled darkly, and you almost came undone right then. “Guess you’ll have to come again the way you want to later.” Reaching under you, he toyed with your clit as he kept the pace from behind. 

You let go of the pillowcase as you kicked your head back in a moan, your saliva trail slowly gravitating toward the sheets. Seokjin only let you breathe for a second before pushing your head back down into the thin material. “Make noise again and you won’t come at all.”

Fuck. You bit hard into the pillow, tears forming at the corners of your eyes as you felt yourself losing control. His fingers felt divine on your bundle of nerves, his dick sliding through your folds over and over and over. The hand he placed on your head smoothed over your hair before bunching it and tugging. You reared back, dots swimming in your vision. “God, I want to choke you. Can I do that, my love?” 

You released the pillow from your mouth again. His consideration was top notch tonight. Too much? You couldn’t decide or really care. “Yes, just do it. Do anything. Please. I’m so close.” 

“Mm. Then cover your mouth.” Before you could follow his command, Seokjin pulled you up by a shoulder to be flush against his front. Sweat coated your back and your ass, causing you to slide down his chiseled stomach while speared on his cock. A strong hand wrapped around your throat, and the fingers that were teasing your clit mercilessly now ventured into the front of your folds. 

One of your hands shot up to clamp over your mouth right before you let out a long groan. You loved when he took control, and when he lost control. If both happened at the same time, it was heaven. 

You could barely last on your knees as his dick slammed up into you repeatedly. The hand around your airway was tight but only just, his praises in your ear being the real culprit of your stolen breath. Your pussy clenched harshly around his length, and you knew from the tight coil in your body that you were seconds from euphoria. 

Seokjin felt it instantly. “Come, baby.” And as soon as he relinquished your throat did you give in, waves of pleasure coursing through you and a white burn shimmering in your lungs. It seemed endless. Ripple after ripple thrummed through your body, your joints slowly unlocking from their initial freeze. Behind you, Seokjin groaned and sang sweet nothings in your ear, his arms wrapping around your chest in a scorching embrace. 

The high ebbed, but did not completely recede. You knew Jin still needed release, so you kissed his wrist next to your shoulder and whispered, “I want to see you now.”

“Whatever you need.” Seokjin slowly unsheathed himself, and you felt a slight pain. You watched as he positioned his back on the headboard. He knew what you wanted to do. 

You made your way over to him and hovered over his length. Locking your hazy eyes with his dark set, you kissed him lazily as you languidly sank back onto him. Seokjin groaned when you didn’t use your hand as a guide beforehand. And frankly, that turned you on, too.

“You’re so tight still,” he grunted, his hands coming up and grabbing your ass before settling on your hips. 

You rolled your hips before finding a rhythm. “You’re just big,” you mock complained, earning a deep chuckle. 

“Aww. You sound. So. Sad,” he teased, thrusting up into you to punctuate each word. Your mewls were welcome now since he was done with his role. Now he could just sit back and enjoy your show for him. And occasionally torture you. 

You found your rhythm again, rougher with him now with your hands in his dark, sweaty locks. One of your hands dropped onto his chest and raked down his breast, eliciting a higher moan than normal. 

The sound caused heat to pool between your legs again, and you upped the pace. Your thighs burned from the exertion, but you kept yourself distracted by diving into Jin’s neck and nipping in multiple places. His arms left your hips to wrap around your back, and your breath faltered as he took over again. 

Seokjin was close. He was always close when his limbs locked hard into place. His upward thrusts were fast and hard, and you could only moan in his ear and take him in. The coil that released once tonight was tightening again, and you murmured in his ear that you were close. 

Seokjin only needed to kiss you like his life depended on it for you to unravel again. The wave was weaker than last time, but it could still cover mountains. Your head felt light, dancing above the clouds with no intention of coming down. You pushed yourself from his lips, allowing him to see your flushed chest and reddened cheeks. The second orgasm faded and loosened your limbs, but your heart felt completely connected to his, your soul nestled into the comfort of his tender embrace. “I love you,” you sighed, and you immediately felt a huge twitch between your folds.

“Lie down, baby. I’m close.” 

“It’s okay,” you whispered, cradling his cheek. “Come inside me, Jinnie. I wanna feel you.” 

“Shit,” he grunted. His thrusts descended into madness. Your heart rattled at the sight of his dusted red cheeks, sweaty neck, heaving chest. He was the most beautiful man you’d ever seen, and the one you would overturn stars to find should you ever lose him again. 

When he gazed down at your joined sex, you took in the wet strands of hair on his forehead. When he kicked his head back against the headboard to look at you with lidded eyes, you bit your swollen lips. This wonderful man was your lover, your ex, your friend, and now your lover again. Only this time, you truly loved him back. And you wanted to think back to this moment forever. 

Tears sprung into your eyes as he pulled you in for a searing kiss, and his orgasm released into you in spurts. The thrusts he made then were slow and powerful, and your body bobbed with the swells. You kissed him harder than necessary, almost willing to bruise your own lips on his. The longer you held his lips captive, the longer he couldn’t see your sorrow. 

But Seokjin already felt the drops ping his chest. He just let you cry because that’s what you needed. Even when he broke from the kiss, he never said a word. He trailed kisses along your wet cheeks, your sweaty nose, and your glistening forehead. His poignant visage held nothing but stars, and it reminded you of the night you fell in love, crushing your spirit ever more. 

Touch after touch after touch only coaxed more tears from your eyes. It felt never ending as you sat spent in his lap, still on his softening length. Sheer willpower was what caused you to finally speak, your voice hoarse, “We should clean up. You still need to pack and sleep.”

“We should, and I do,” he whispered. He patted your bum. “Can you get up by yourself?” 

You nodded before extracting yourself from his firm thighs, lamenting the fact that human bodies had limits. As you waddled to the bathroom, you stumbled along the way, Seokjin softly chuckled while following you and steadying you when needed. Even when you shot empty glares at him, the smile in his eyes never left. 

The rest of your time spent in his room consisted of silence and kisses. Ever the gentleman, he let you lie down on his bed while he used the other half for the bags to pack. It didn’t take him too long since he was organized from the jump, so when he was done he cleared the bed and joined you under the covers. When you felt a weight on your stomach, you looked down to see your camera dumped on the comforter. 

Seokjin wrapped a strong arm behind your neck. “What do you call naked pictures taken with a Polaroid?” 

“Oh, no.” You turned your head to face him. “What?” 

“Just pictures. But that’s old nudes.” 

You punished him by attacking his sides instantly, yanking a batch of honky laughs from him. Knowing your own weaknesses still, he unleashed his own parry, and it took a minute for the both of you to settle in a draw. 

“Don’t tell me the only reason you brought this into the bed was to tell that horrid joke,” you chuckled, your head back to resting in your pillow. 

“Nope. I wanna take one of us.” 

After getting past all seven of your objections and excuses, Seokjin whittled your walls down and got you to agree. The end product existed on the last film in your Polaroid: a crooked snapshot of him kissing your cheek as you smiled with creased eyes, sheets held against your chest. And he conceded in letting you keep it after watching you clutch it lovingly in your fingers. 

You immediately sought comfort in his embrace after setting the photo next to your phone on the nightstand, and he stole multiple kisses from you way after your eyes couldn’t stay open any longer. 

“Get some sleep, my love,” Seokjin whispered. 

And despite your sound of protest, you were pulled into the abyss of sleep right as you felt pillowy lips caress your forehead.

Rin-Rin [6:40am]: You’re lucky I love you. I packed your stuff and left out an outfit for you when you come down. Just don’t be late or I’ll drag you back down myself :)))

Jiminie [6:45am]: RISE N SHINE LOVEBIRDS

Rin-Rin [6:46am]: Oh, yeah, I may or may not have texted Jimin. 

Jiminie [6:46am]: ABOUT TIME

Jiminie [6:46am]: !!!

Tae [6:47am]: jimins scream woke me up. i can only assume that means ill get to be an uncle soon. dont let me down i want this(: 

Joonie [6:48am]: Aaaaaaaaaa !!!

Jiminie [6:48am]: And I know you want to yell at me for yesterday so I am ready for that whenever you are

Kook [6:50am]: <3 

You smiled at your texts before locking your phone. Seokjin was already up and about, making sure everything was packed and accounted for. When he saw you stirring, he came over and surprised you with a kiss so deep that it revitalized your sagging emotional state. “Morning,” you chuckled, swinging your sore legs out of the sheets and wincing at the cold. “I need to head back down.”

“Yeah, Rin already sent the first round of threats. I’ll see you at the car, okay?” 

You pecked him on the cheek after you slipped on your boots and grabbed your Polaroid.  Stepping into the hallway, you kept reminding yourself to not completely lose it yet. There was still a whole car ride you got to have with him, and you were determined to slow down time however you could. 

Your phone buzzed again, and you assumed Yoongi and Hoseok were just now waking up and getting the gossip. Checking your notifications only validated your guess.

Hobi [6:52am]: AHHHHH HAPPY FOR U~!!!

Hobi [6:52am]: ASLSKDJSKDHSKDJ

Yoongi [6:53am]: I’ll make sure to drag him back sometimes. It’s ludicrous to say that we’d never see him again. Drama queen. Anyways, happy for you. If you need anything, let me know. 

Hobi [6:53am]: we’ll see seokjinnie again love. and if u miss him a lot then we can make sure you see him. im sure he’ll be missing u too

How you were able to win the friend lottery and meet these people, you had no clue. But you weren’t going to ever question the fact. All you would do was embrace your blessings and love them. 

The car ride to the airport was long, but still much too short for your liking. Between the loving gazes you directed at Seokjin as he sang along to Taehyung’s music, the looks full of mirth Jimin gave the both of you from the backseat, and the laughter of both Rin and Taehyung, you were the happiest you’ve felt in a very long time. 

Throughout the ride, you got the feeling that you were going to be okay. Seokjin was starting an insane adventure, but you were also going to be there every step of the way. Not just on the polaroid he decided to stash in his bag, but in his heart and on his mind like Namjoon said around the fire. 

There were still plenty of ways to see each other and communicate. And since he technically didn’t start until next summer, that gave you plenty of time to see him before then. The many possibilities made you question your hesitation in the first place. 

But none of that diminished how much of a struggle it was still going to be. 

When the car rolled to a stop in the airport parking lot, your chest constricted. When everyone got their bags out of the cars and started the trek to the shuttles, your hands shook on your straps. As soon as everyone started saying their byes and separating to check into their airlines, you found it hard to breathe. 

But a tender hand brushed through your hair, and plush lips connected with your forehead. In an instant, you felt okay again. 

Seokjin’s calm voice slipped over your features. “Your flight leaves in two hours, right?” When you nodded, he continued, “Okay. Come shop with me before I have to go to my gate!” 

You tried your best to keep a positive attitude while you watched Jin peruse different airport stores. When he would hold stuff up for you to approve, you would smile or dramatically turn things down. Even the cute neck pillow he really wanted got the dreaded rejection. 

But that was only so you could pay for it when he wasn’t looking and surprise him. The huge laugh and grin you got in return was worth the trouble. 

When it was time for Seokjin to head to his gate, you brought him in for a crushing hug. “Let me know when you land,” you demanded. 

“Of course, honey,” he said through a smile. 

“‘Honey,’ now?” You regarded him with a raised eyebrow. “You have so many nicknames for me. I can’t keep up. Do you have a favorite you could stick with?” 

Seokjin rested his chin on your head. “Ah, I have a favorite. But it’s not true yet, so I shouldn’t use it.” 

A fire ignited in your heart, the flames warming you from the inside. “And which one is that?” 

“Would you look at the time!” Jin’s body heat left you in a rush as he stepped away, and your instinctual pout made him laugh outright. He cupped your chin for a kiss that rocked your whole being before pulling away. His eyes held galaxies in them when he stared into yours. “Guess you’ll have to wait for the answer to that one.” 

“You’re a jerk, Jinnie,” you huffed, but you kissed him again. “You’re lucky I love you.” 

“I really am. And I love you,” he responded. His hand came down to squeeze yours before he had to part. “I’ll let you know when I make it. Call me when you get home, okay?” 

“Okay,” you replied, and you watched his long strides with a heavy heart and a hopeful mind. 

As you told yourself again and again, you were going to be okay. It was going to be tough, it was going to be absolutely painful. But as long as you decided to keep loving each other, everything would work out. 

You knew better than anyone that love was a choice. And for Seokjin, you would choose it a thousand times over. 

And besides, the current state of technology was on your side. The possibilities of communication were too endless for you to dwell on the distance. Were there going to be days in which you only received one text? Most likely. Were there going to be weeks where you weren’t going to hear much from Seokjin at all? Definitely. But this time, unlike last time, you welcomed every bit of it. Your heart built a bridge to his that defied any sense of physical distance. On opposite sides, both of you were achieving success in your own ways. In the end, you would always come back to each other to celebrate together. Even though this was the last November trip you had with Seokjin, it was the beginning of many, many wonderful years to come.

It was later, while you were waiting for your own flight to finish boarding, that a message was sent to your phone. 

Jinnie [12:04pm]: Attachment: 1 Image

You couldn’t help but grin. As you gazed lovingly at the picture of Seokjin smiling next to your polaroid, another one came in before you could respond.

Jinnie [12:05pm]: Until you’re really next to me, this will have to do. Don’t get too jealous! 

You laughed to yourself, rolling your eyes while setting the image as your wallpaper. Locking your phone, you tapped the glass to see your screen light up, observing the picture again.

On a plane heading to another city entirely, Seokjin was doing the exact same thing. Except in his case, he was smiling down at a girl caught in mid-laughter, body aglow from the bright yellow lights of a spinning carousel behind her. 

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a/n: whewww so if you made it to the end, hi! i seriously enjoyed writing this and i learned so much. it’s my first fic and first huge one-shot, so if you have any comments/concerns/constructive feedback, please let me know! my ask box is always open, too. lastly, here is my m.list if you want to browse! 🌨🌨🌨 ++ feedback box (added nov. 25th, 2021): ⇥ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated! ⇥ for the ones that aren’t okay with reblogging with a review, commenting on this, or sending a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think! ⇥ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. it’s literally just a feedback dropbox :D ⇥ here!   ++ ⇥ masterlist 

[mk-wizard]

Proof that the Autobot Way is Flawed

Now, before I start exploring this Transformers theory, I want to make it clear that I do not think that Autobots are secretly evil. You can be part of a flawed system and be a good person. Heck, you can be part of a flawed system and even be aware of how flawed it is. Autobots have long since proven that they are good, well meaning people who want to keep their society clean and want to do good for the world, but it is NOT a perfect society. It has flaws that are glaring, feudal and in fact holding Autobots themselves back. And there are many instances which show that the Autobot way has flaws. Also, many of them are from Animated which I give honours to @auraturner for bringing up in her article here as many others did too. Here they are;

If you want to live in an Autobot society, you MUST identify as an Autobot yourself or you are not truly a part of the society and cannot live among Autobots. - Ever noticed that on Cybertron, EVERYONE identifies as an Autobot? And I recall in the G1 series, when Spike and Carly were given the ultimate honour among Autobots, what was this honour? Being called an Autobot. In other words, they were not true allies or equals up until that moment. While we would find being an Autobot cool as a kid, as adults, this feels off and kind of disturbing. Then there was the issue of Jetfire in G1. Why should he HAVE to be an Autobot to prove that he is good? He was good even when he identified as a Decepticon! He could have kept being a Decepticon and just fight alongside the good guys. What if a Decepticon wants to continue being a Decepticon, but just doesn’t agree with tyranny or Megatron’s way? What if a Decepticon was a good person, wasn’t even a fighter, had no criminal record and only wanted to live a quiet private life on Cybertron? Unless that Decepticon is willing to change their faction, the Autobots will deny them the right to live on Cybertron.

They have no trouble conscripting and imprisoning kids. - While we find it cute that Bumblebee is a young teenager, this implications here are actually very dark. What is a teenager that young doing in the army and going to war? Also, in the Animated series, Wasp was arrested and sent to the stockades and he was no older than Bumblebee. This is not ok. You do not give a kid and adult sentence.

Autobot society works almost like a hive mind or at least under the thumb of the Prime. - While Optimus and Rodimus were good and kind Primes who care deeply for others and allow personal freedoms, a large majority of the Primes were not like this. It is implied that Autobot society is a borderline communist society in which everyone plays a role to keep the system as it is forever and it is very rigid towards new ideas and such. This is why Megatron resorted to war in the first place. Nobody would listen to him. They listened to Optimus (as Orion Pax) in Prime, but the problem with this is that Megatron knows the problems better and knows the solution cannot be negotiated. Optimus doesn’t get that because he hasn’t walked in those shoes. Might I also add that the Autobots shot and used aggression first when Megatron start proposing change. That doesn’t look good. Moreover, you all have to believe in the same thing without question. Nobody is allowed free speech and speaking out against the Prime is considered as stepping out of line and if you question the Autobot way or point out that it has flaws, you will be accused of heresy.

While the Autobot faction came to be, their ancestors deleted a lot of the records. - This chilling fact is official in the actual Allspark Alminac. I don’t think I need to say much on this one. Anyone who throws away part of their own history is obviously hiding something.

Autobots have no respect for other factions or beings. - While the Autobots showing a lack of respect for the Earth or Decepticons is played off for laughs, such things are actually quite despicable. When Autobots mine for energon rather than produce it using alternative sources (like the Decepticons did in G1), it does a heck of a lot of damage to the planet. And you know what else does damage to Earth’s property and environment? The Autobot’s war and often at times their own clumsiness. I recall one episode in RID where the Autobots carelessly destroyed and entire golf course in seconds while duking it out amongst themselves and while this moment got passed off for comedy, I didn’t find it funny. It takes a lot of work to set up a golf course and even more to build a building, make a car and don’t get me started on how many injuries bystanders can endure. It is any wonder Prime’s Agent Fowler didn’t like them? I would be mad to if I gave amnesty to people who showed a lack of gratitude through a lack of respect for my home. Also, since the days of G1, the Autobots have mocked and objectified their prisoners either by taunting them or by taking pictures with them. Moreover, Autobots call Decepticons racist terms like “Con” or “Decepticreep”. I have never seen a Decepticon mock a captive except for Starscream and Megatron chastised him for it calling him childish and saying he shamed himself. Also, I have never ever heard the Decepticons call the Autobots a racist slur. Heck, Autobots including Optimus himself have used the term “Decepticon” as another word for “evil”. I also want to throw out there that Autobots do not take prisoners very often nor do they show a lot of mercy. Yes, Starscream is a sadist and a half, but the other Decepticons will not kick someone when they’re down or kill if they don’t have to. In fact, sometimes, their honour drives them not to. As for Autobots, they are not so nice and sometimes, even the noblest ones (including Optimus himself) have been known to take getting even too far.

They do not allow alt mode autonomy. - If you don’t know what that means, it means you are not allowed to choose an alt mode you want. It has to somehow relate to your job or the Autobot way. I know this is all fiction, but wouldn’t the right to choose which alt mode you want be a form of bodily autonomy? And how does your alt mode relate to your job especially when you can only do your job in robot mode? We see Autobots sneak this lack of letting a bot pick and choose the alt mode they really want even in Rescue Bots. When Blurr and Salvage join the team, he takes them to a hanger full of vehicles that are exclusively trucks or automobiles of some kind. In other words, everything four-wheeler. And even in Rescue Bots Academy, this sneaky tactic of guiding the bot’s hand towards a specific alt mode is still there. The bots play up how much the recruits admire them and almost all of them choose alt modes that are similar to their teachers. In the episode where Hotshot choose a fire truck, if Heatwave was a bigger bot, he would have encouraged Hotshot to stick with the rocket like he wanted to be because there’s a reason he wanted to be that and he already changes into a four wheeler of some kind. I think Autobots only allow dinosaur forms because they have proven to be useful, but if you compare the amount of diversity of alt modes among Autobots to that of Decepticon, it’s a night and day difference. I mean... they allow a warrior Decepticon to change into a CAMERA (REFLECTOR) and no one mocks or judges the guy. Now that I look at it, how many Autobots out there change into things that are not trucks or automobiles? Not many. In fact, even Blades wasn’t originally a flyer. It worries me to think what would have happened if a jet flew by in the air and Blurr requested to change into it as it is fast. Or if either he or Salvage didn’t like any of the trucks or automobiles.

They delete feelings and memories. - This is just creepy and the more I think about it, the more it frightens me. A society that considers amnesia acceptable as way of coping with trauma makes me think this society is very crooked and only looks at short term solutions. Not to mention, the concept of dealing with problems is by forgetting them is also telling. It makes me wonder if they apply this as a treatment for all trauma victims or anyone they consider as a heretic. And by any chance, do they use this as a means of ensuring that a former Decepticon becomes a proper Autobot? Holy cow, this is scaring me... And it’s making me wonder how many Autobots were actually once Decepticons, but even they themselves don’t even know it because their entire identities were deleted?

They don’t allow misfits and freaks. - The most disturbing aspect of all. All Autbots are physically perfect and none are beast types with the exception of the Dinobots who are also deemed openly as the exception. I also don’t notice many handicapped Autobots with the exception of Fixit who became handicapped after his accident. I highly doubt he would have gotten a job if he was handicapped from before and even currently, he is treated like an invalid even though he isn’t. They won’t even allow him to fight or inform him of his fighting capabilities even after discovering that he can hold his own. As for Decepticons, you will see tons who do not fit into some perfect mold or have ailments like having psychological issues or other handicaps, and most importantly, you’ll find diverse beast types. It is not for nothing that a large majority of the misfits of society rebelled against the Autobot way. The Autobot way outcasts the flawed and imperfect.

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #22- If You Don’t Love Thunderclash, Get Better Soon I Guess

One last issue before we reach Comic Event Hell.

Time to use a dead man to set up the rest of the nonsense that’s got to happen, because apparently 14 issues of setup, including six issues of literal prelude, wasn’t enough.

The first bit of information we’re presented with is the fact that Chromedome and Swerve are on the opposite sides of the camera-shy scale. I guess that’s bound to happen when your spouse has had his video-cam literally connected to his brain for at least several thousand years.

The art may look really gritty and hardcore here, but this is actually due to a filter Rewind has over all his footage that he’s neglected to take off, because it made all the wartime propaganda he would stuff into people’s heads all the more brutal-looking.

No, this is the style of our artist for this issue, James Raiz, who we’ll be seeing a fair bit of over the next several issues. Raiz has worked on the Transformers franchise over the course of multiple license-holders, as well as contributed to both Marvel and DC comics. He also works in special effects, including matte painting and VFX. That’s just neat.

Anyway, the reason Swerve’s completely frozen in place isn’t because Rewind  switched out his head-mounted camera for a gun that goes off if it hears you make a self-deprecating joke, but rather because he’s conducting interviews with everyone in the main cast. We get all their introductions, Cyclonus makes a statement about his political stances, Drift sounds like he’s high as a kite, First Aid strikes a sassy pose while not being bitter in the slightest, and Ultra Magnus makes a move that would get him murdered on any given film set in the universe.

You do NOT use your bare fucking hand to clean a camera lens, mister. Go get a microfiber cloth and try the fuck again, you complete and utter duffel bag of a creature.

We get a quick cut of the speech Rodimus made back in issue #1, with an angle that implies that Rewind was in the front row of the front row, then cut over to Rodimus asking Rewind to document their Capital-Q Quest. This is where we establish that this film doesn’t only contain footage from Rewind’s personal camera, but also that of the Lost Light’s security system.

Which feels like the sort of access you maybe wouldn’t want to give some nosy little film buff, especially when you have a secret giant serial killing sadist living in your basement like a disappointing adult child.

See? He was given the job to record the adventures of the Lost Light not five minutes ago, and he’s already using his powers for evil. Eavesdropping evil. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, Rodimus, and you just handed it to the guy with a massive Dominus Ambus-shaped chip on his shoulder.

So Rewind’s got permission to film just about whatever he wants, and Rodimus figures it’ll be nonstop action from here to the finish line! Fights! Intrigue! Mild hijinks and peril! Explosions aplomb! Oh man, I can’t wait to see what kinds of crazy shit will happen on this absolute roller coaster of a Quest!

Smashcut to Swerve literally falling asleep in the middle of a conversation. Yeah, as it turns out, no quest, capital Q or not, is nonstop action. Which is good, honestly, because that kind of seems like it would be exhausting after the first week or so.

Swerve, Tailgate, and Rewind are discussing cool alt-modes, which seems like an odd topic, seeing as Tailgate and Swerve have basically the same situation going on there, leaving Rewind alone in the camp of “does not have wheels”.

I worry about you sometimes, Rewind. Internalized Functionism is a very real problem. Uh, well, in your universe anyway. Us humans have to deal with regular ol’ classism and racism.

Rung gets brought up, and it’s revealed that the wheel on his back is almost purely cosmetic; it doesn’t even actually attach to his body. The lads decide that they’ve got nothing better to do, and set up a gentlemen’s wager- first one to figure out Rung’s whole deal gets 100 space-dollars.

Throwing shit at people’s heads will be a major plot point in the climax of this comic series.

Swerve’s go at trying to win the bet involved tossing a grenade at Rung to hit him in the neural cluster, which is rumored to be able to force an involuntary mode change if done correctly. Obviously, it didn’t work this go around. Then our narrative focus switches over to the crew’s hobbies.

You were listening to Prince, weren’t you, Magnus? Not even deep space is safe from the Cease and Desist.

Skids’ hobby is meeting new people, because he suffers from the terrible curse of being so fucking good at everything he tries, he always ends up dropping whatever he picked up, because what’s the point? This acts as a segue into another flashback, to even MORE bullshit that the fellas got roped into on Hedonia.

These are the Stentarians. They’re like the Cybertronians, if they were better in every way.

And by “better”, I, of course, mean “more bloodthirsty, warmongering, and driven enough to make their civil war last about as long as the Jurassic Period”. Also, they’re all combiners by default, and Whirl seems a little TOO into their whole situation. So much so, in fact, that when the Imperial Guard of their race show up to kill them, he decides to do them a solid by single-handedly ending their entire war.

You know, in most cases you’re supposed to show and not tell for visual media. This is way funnier, though, so it can be excused.

We jump back into the interviews, and Rewind’s just asked everyone if they’re happy. This might seem like an odd question, until you remember that everyone on-board this ship has crippling depression and PTSD, and Rewind’s married to one of the saddest motherfuckers to ever exist, so he probably has this question loaded into the proverbial chamber at any given moment. We won’t cover all of the answers here, because they’ll be more poignant to reflect back on later in the comic run, but let’s take a gander at the characters who’ve completed the first leg of their character arcs this season.

Drift, is that perhaps… an honest expression of your inner thought processes happening right there? Has Rewind broken through your carefully crafted persona, if even for just a moment, with his question? Perish the thought!

Because Tailgate outed himself as being baby in issue #21, I have zero doubt he’s not exaggerating here. He was a janitor, then he fell in a hole and became Dirt-Nap Supreme for six million years; even the most boring day on the Lost Light’s got to be better than that.

And it’s nice to see Chromedome on a good day for once. Hopefully he reveled in it while he had the chance, because this interview takes place maybe a couple weeks before he fucks everything up big time and has to blow up his husband with a missile strike.

Getting back to the Mystery of the Rungian Alt-Mode plotline, we see Rung using his backpack as a wheelbarrow- no idea what he’s actually pushing in the damned thing- and wearing the most disgruntled face I’ve seen him pull in a hot minute. Someone yells for him to come down the eerily unlit and sinister-looking hallway, which he does. Rung would not do well in a horror film.

He winds up at Swerve’s, where Tailgate, Swerve, Brainstorm, and someone who is most likely Trailcutter, given the colors, are hanging out in their alt-modes. Tailgate’s ploy to find out Rung’s deal is to do what he does best- lie! They’re having an alt-mode party, and wouldn’t Rung like to join in? There are, of course, logistical issues with being a car in a bar, especially when your drink is on the table and your head is tucked up somewhere in your torso, but never mind all that! Let’s get crazy!

This doesn’t work either. Maybe we should cut out the middle man here and just get Rung drunk enough to agree to a wet alt-mode contest.

No, I don’t have any idea how that would work.

In our next vignette, Rodimus comes into the comms room, Rewind trailing behind him like a grim shadow of death, to see what the hell Blaster wants, other than just the hugest glass of water.

Raiz’s work is very detailed, and you really feel the weight of these giant metal space robots, but everyone looks like they’ve been put through a food dehydrator.

We get a lot of build up to the character who’s about to be introduced, with a common opinion being shared amongst everyone- even Tailgate, who hates successful people like his life depends on it.

Lovely readers, put your hands together for the ideal male partner for Autobots, Decepticons, and Neutrals alike:

A man with so much charisma and charm that only Rodimus could hate him, Thuderclash brings to IDW what everyone wishes Optimus Prime would, making our disappointing space dad even more mediocre by comparison. He fights for justice, and freedom, and the good of the universe- and he does it all while having a chronic medical condition that forces him to stay within a certain distance of his ship that is also a life-support machine, otherwise he will die. Despite his handicaps, Thunderclash seemingly brings to others what they need most, even if they don’t even realize that they needed it in the first place.

He also, in this one scene, appeals to Drift’s religious sensibilities, does a secret best-friend dance with Ratchet (who he helped to pass his medical exams- yes, Ratchet), and congratulates Rodimus on his questing so far.

Thunderclash is one of those characters that everyone in-universe is supposed to love, and I completely buy it- because he’s completely genuine and humble about all of this the entire time.

Compare this to the last time Roberts wrote Thunderclash, in Eugenesis.

Where he was an ex-Decepticon.

And kind of an abrasive asshole.

And then he died.

Y’know, now that I think of it, Eugenesis Thunderclash and MTMTE Ambulon being basically the same character makes a whole lot of sense, even without the horrors of Roberts’ Twitter getting involved.

Thunderclash reveals that he, too, is on a quest to find the Knights of Cybertron, much to Rodimus’ chagrin. But first he needs the Lost Light to break out the jumper cables, and then for his second in command to stop threatening his life.

Turns out, not everyone is as obvious as the Cybertronians with their naming conventions. Whirl assassinated the wrong folks; I’m sure the Galactic Council is utterly thrilled. Paddox wants to steal the quantum engine technology for the good of his people, so they can kick the ass of the up-and-coming Terradore leader.

Completely unaware of the situation unfolding here in the lab, Swerve is directing Rung towards the warm, loving aura of Thunderclash for another go at winning the gentlemen’s wager- through the power of lying about having friends, Swerve’s “agreed” to get Rung Thunderclash’s autograph, in exchange for getting to check that Rung’s transformation cog is still working. Then they bump into the nightmare currently unfolding. My, whoever will save us from this dreaded menace, who holds a gun to the head of the Autobots’ greatest warrior, confidant, friend, and perhaps even lover?

How about a bartender and a giant vape pen?

Okay, so Rung doesn’t actually turn into a vape. It turns out that the Mystery of the Rungian Alt-Mode is also a mystery to the man himself. Because Rung is old as shit, the Functionists got to see this bullshit for themselves, and ended up testing him over and over and over trying to figure it out, lest he prove to be a flaw in their fascist ideologies. Fun fact: fascists HATE it when people they’re trying to oppress don’t play to their expectations.

The Functionists were the ones who gave Rung his little wheelie backpack, to make him at least appear useful. This sort of treatment tends to warp one’s head a bit, which would explain why he’s bothered to keep it for so long- internalized functionism’s a real bitch.

At least he’s not giving teenagers nicotine addictions under the guise of being somewhat better than cigarettes.

Back with Rodimus and Cybertron’s Autobot of the Year for 40,000 consecutive years, we get the unfortunate news that jump-starting Thunderclash’s ship is going to make the Quest go a bit slower for the Lost Light, much to Rodimus’ horror, though he does his best to put on a brave face; after all, that’s what heroes do, isn’t it?

It’s at this point that it’s revealed that “Little Victories” was being screened to all the Circle of Light members who didn’t get murdered or turned into Legislators on Luna 1, and man are these guys pissy. What was meant to be a recruitment video turned out to do just the opposite, because none of these guys want anything to do with what the Lost Light’s got going on.

Too bad Rewind didn’t have time for a cleaner cut for showing. Maybe they could have at least snagged a couple of these guys to tag along.

As all of the Circle of Light leave the theatre to go call everyone’s favorite Autobot to see if he needs a more crew members, the film plays on behind Skids, back to the interviews, as everyone promises more adventures just waiting on the horizon.

You’re not even on this trip anymore, you dork.

Chromedome gives us the title drop for the movie and issue, and we cut to Rewind organizing a group photo of all the interviewees.

And then Rewind died horribly like a week later. Thus ends season one of More Than Meets the Eye!

While I’m here, I’d like to take the time to cover a little bit of cut content from this issue, a scene between Drift and Ratchet.

Drift, during his interview, recalls the time that Ratchet called him into his office for a very serious discussion about his/Pharma’s hands.

Yeah, turns out they’re haunted.

Well, no, not really, because this is a prank. But Drift doesn’t know that yet.

Ratchet demonstrates this hand-haunting by punching Drift in the face, as he screams damnation at Pharma’s ghost. Drift, because he is a spiritual man, knows exactly what to do to deal with this possession; he draws his sword and chops Ratchet’s hands off, then throws them out the airlock.

This, too, is a prank, not that Ratchet knows it right away, yelling at Drift that he’s crippled him.

Clearly, these two belong together.

This bit of cut script was lucky enough to have gotten drawn by the colorist for MTMTE Season 1, Josh Burcham. Burcham’s line art is iconic- you won’t mistake him for anyone else. It’s rough and angular, and honestly just very charming. I’m a sucker for this sort of style. If you want to see his adaptation of this chunk of script- and trust me, you do- the link’s right here:

https://dcjosh.tumblr.com/post/107665292031/its-done-the-mtmte-22-deleted-scene-in-all-its

[tyrantofthefirmament]

Lord Starscream... forgive me if I sound ignorant, but I would love to know more about Cybertronians and how they function! It seems like Cybertronians have a lot in common with us humans, physically and emotionally. Do you have a sense of smell? Do you cry? Do you have a way of turning off pain sensors by yourself - did you have to do that when you lost your arm that one time? Do you have to drink Energon on a consistent basis?

I suppose we do have some traits in common with humans, as we do with most sapient life forms we have encountered. Most often that would mean a bipedal, or at least upright, form freeing up two or more limbs for manipulating our surroundings, and a complex social structure. I’m not an anthropologist or a biologist, but humans are relatively easy to talk to compared to some aliens I’ve met. You also ask a lot of questions.

Fortunately, I can answer them.

We do have a sense of smell, though I don’t think it functions quite the same as yours. We have some olfactory sensors in all of our vents, so we can catch scents near different parts of our bodies. That might seem odd to you, but bear in mind that we are very tall and having, for example, chemical sensors in our legs might alert us to acidic vapors collected near the ground, that we might not notice if they didn’t waft higher up near our facial vents. Some of our olfactory sensors are more sensitive than others. My facial vents can detect scents with much more subtlety than the vents on my sides. We also have sensors that can detect magnetic fields and electrical charge, which may seem unrelated until you recall that charge is considered a flavor in Energon. I love the tingle of a good strong High Grade when I smell it and the charge hits my vents.

I don’t know if humans would recognize our equivalent of crying, since it looks very different. When we have a strong emotional or stress response, our systems heat up, and our fans switch on to rid our bodies of the excess heat. If it’s bad enough, our coolant will actually boil over and weep out from ducts in our vents to cool us faster. Evaporating coolant directly from a larger surface area helps chill the ammonia still in our lines directly under the vents, which then circulates and brings our internal temperatures down. Our side vents and facial vents both have this response, along with back and leg vents in very large frames, but you can’t always see it as liquid given ammonia’s low boiling point. Sometimes lubricants will weep out as well, because that is part of our flight or flight response in case rapid transformation is needed, and you can see that. Either way, you can definitely smell the ammonia if someone is crying hard enough. 

We can somewhat dull our pain sensors for a short time, but they are one of the systems we have little conscious control over. I rarely bother, since it doesn’t make that much of a difference. Honestly getting my arm shot off ranks pretty low on the scale of painful things I’ve endured. If you mean when Optimus Prime shot it off, I actually barely felt it, due to the Dark Energon in my system at the time, but even without that, a clean break right at the joint wouldn’t be as painful as say, bent struts or getting armor ripped off of my torso. It’s definitely nothing compared to being shot in the wing. To fully shut off pain sensors you need to see a medic, but well stocked medkits usually have small EMP generators that you can clamp on to numb a small area. In certain parts of the extremities you could also sever the wiring to pain sensors if you really wanted to. It’s simple enough to repair later.

How much Energon we need depends on many factors, but we do refuel pretty regularly. Frame size and activity level make the biggest difference in how often we fuel and how much. A typical Energon cube we’d normally drink from holds maybe 60 gallons of fuel. If an average sized mech, say about my mass, didn’t use their alt mode at all, a cube would last them a couple of weeks easily. If they were a grounder and used their alt mode a few time a day, they’d want to make sure and get a cube at least every couple of days, if not every day. Most people have a cube a day as part of their normal routine anyway. A big mech like Megatron or the Prime would probably still fuel once or twice a day, but they’d consume more. Since they were also soldiers, they would most likely keep fully fueled at all times, so they’d drink 3 to 5 cubes at a time. Megatron would often drink more than that, since he was so active and so large. I have seen him chug 500 gallons of fuel in one sitting, after returning from a battle where he spent nearly all his fuel and got wounded severely. We used the big cubes after battles like that.

Seekers need the most fuel, not just for our size, but overall. My fuel capacity is close to 1000 gallons, and I don’t consider myself fully fueled if I’m below 700. I go through most of that every day since I fly actively, and more on days when I oversee training. Cirrus is bigger than me and with how hard he trains, he sometimes drinks 3000 gallons a day if his morning drills have a lot of afterburner and fast climbs. I do too, on days I show him new techniques, since I usually do all the maneuvers multiple times. You see why I’m such a stickler for securing mines and supply lines? Air superiority depends on fuel, not just for combat sorties, but to maintain training and readiness. Now that we have so many Eradicons (their tanks are smaller but still) and returning Seekers, we’re training Energon Seekers as quickly as we can, and our refineries reach capacity just as soon as we bring them online. Then there’s the Rotorbots on the construction crews, who are even thirstier! 

But you didn’t come here to listen to me go on about running a fledgling city of aerial mecha. Heh, and people wondered why Vosnians were so obsessed with our restaurant scene. I will leave you with this amusing image - not only do Seekers hold more fuel than grounders twice our size, it’s also much stronger. It was a popular joke for us Energon Seekers to share our rations with the mining crews we occasionally worked with, and drink them under the table before we even had to divert fuel into our wing tanks. We kept an eye out for new crews who would underestimate us. Don’t try and outdrink a big Rotorbot though. They’ll bury you.

[writeyouin]

Hello! I was reading some of your transformers x reader and i enjoyed them way too much, i wondering if i could please request some poly combaticons x reader fluffiness??

Poly-Combaticons X Reader - Hostage

A/N – Yoga is harder than I thought. Man, I am like the least flexible person ever.

Warnings – None.

Rating – T

Swindle vented air loudly through his systems, sighing boredly. Just like the other Combaticons, he was tired of being left behind on missions. It was almost like Megatron didn’t trust them, which was crazy, because it was he who had ordered their rescue from imprisonment, right? At least, that’s what he had told them on Cybertron after he had reprogrammed them to only follow his orders; none of the Combaticons would ever know any different.

“Where’s Vortex?” He asked, hoping that the insane bot might be good for a laugh.

“Probably off causing trouble,” Blast Off replied, checking himself out in the shiniest part of the chrome wall.

Onslaught hummed, making some notes after examining a slide under the microscope, “As long as I have some peace to finish my experiments for Lord Megatron, does it really matter where Vortex is?”

“GUYS, GUYS,” Vortex called out excitedly, running in. “YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED!”

Onslaught cursed his luck, knowing he would never finish his project with Vortex yelling like that.

“WHAT IS IT?!” Brawl roared huffily, eager to pick a fight with just about anyone that happened to be nearby, if it would distract him from his boredom.

“ORDERS FROM MEGATRON. GOOD ONES. REALLY, REALLY GOOD ONES. ALMOST AS GOOD AS BEING ATTACKED.”

None of them really understood why Vortex loved surprise attacks so much, but they at least understood his frame of reference for excitement.

“Megatron’s back?” Onslaught asked, thinking of his unfinished project.

“NO, BUT HE SENT LASERBEAK BACK WITH SOME ORDERS.”

“What’ve you got for us?” Swindle asked, already coming up with a scam that would make the others do his work for him if he didn’t like the job.

“There’s a human hostage in the holding cells. Megatron said we must not let the Autobots take it back at any cost.”

“A human?” Blast Off actually managed to look away from his reflection for a while. “That could be interesting, I suppose.”

“UGH!” Brawl exclaimed exasperatedly. “WHAT GOOD IS A HOSTAGE THAT YOU CAN’T FIGHT. I WANT A REALLY GOOD SCRAP.”

“Come on,” Onslaught said, leading the way to the holding cells; at the very least, he might get some interesting research done on human physiology and behaviour. At Onslaught’s word, they all headed down to see the prisoner, hoping to alleviate some boredom, if nothing else.

None of them knew what to expect since you were the first human they had seen outside of TV. As such, once they all got to the door, it was decided they shouldn’t alert you to their presence until they were sure of how best to guard you; that decision greatly annoyed Brawl who never hid from anything.

“Wow…” Blast Off whispered, “(S)he looks so…sad.”

The five bots fell silent, frowning as they each thought about their millions of years imprisoned with no hope of escape; it was torturous. No doubt, you were also suffering with nobody to talk to and no stimulus to keep you entertained. At least when the Combaticons were bored, they had each other to talk to; this just seemed cruel. Even Brawl was uncharacteristically quiet, thinking about the painful years of solitude in which nobody even spared him a thought.

Vortex stayed as quiet as he could for as long as he could, totalling a record time of two minutes and ten seconds of silence. After that, he bounced on into the room, “Hey human, how are you? Are you bored? I bet you’re bored; I would be bored in there.”

Onslaught and Blast Off face-palmed, while Swindle watched snickering, and Brawl rolled his optics at his team-mate’s stupidity.

You stood up upon seeing the Decepticon enter the room. He was one you had never seen before on any of your missions with the Autobots and you wondered what his personality was like compared to the other Decepticons.

“Hello,” You greeted openly.

“Hey,” Vortex beamed, surprised you weren’t like the other humans the Decepticons had discussed in front of the Combaticons; he had only ever heard Starscream saying how they were frightened of everything, including their own shadows.

“Are you new?” You asked, your curiosity outweighing your sense of danger as it always did. “I’ve never seen you before.”

“Me, new? That’s crazy,” Vortex guffawed. “I’m super old. You’re the new one.”

You chuckled, “Yes, I guess I am.”

“GUYS, GET IN HERE, IT’S FRIENDLY, AND FUNNY TOO.”

You watched the door as three other bots sheepishly made their way in, the fourth stomped in grumpily, making sure to make a lot of noise.

“Oh, are these your friends?”

It was Onslaught who answered, “We’re his team.”

“Yeah,” Blast Off laughed, “I’m the handsome one.”

You smiled, noticing they weren’t like the other Decepticons; at least these five talked to you. “And do you have a name or am I stuck calling you handsome?”

“I’m Blast Off, our fearless leader here is called Onslaught. This glitch-head is Vortex,” Vortex pointed to himself proudly, despite the insult. “This is-”

“I’m Swindle,” The bot replied, winking at you. “You need something, you come to me first. I can talk my way outta anything and everything.”

“And last but not least is Brawl.”

“AND I’M OUTTA HERE,” Brawl huffed, still wanting something to fight.

“Ah,” You smiled knowingly.

“WHAT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?” Brawl demanded, hitting the bars of your cage.

“Hey, I meant nothing bad by it. I could just tell by your cool attitude that you’re the strong one of the group. Man, I bet you could take anyone in a fight.”

“Heh,” Brawl guffawed bashfully. “If you think I look strong now, you should see my alt-mode.” With that he transformed into a tank, showing off his bulk and strength by blasting a hole in the ceiling.

You couldn’t help but smiling at the display Brawl put on just for you. Soon enough, all the Combaticons were competing for your attention, turning into their various alt-modes and asking whose was best. Even the level-headed Onslaught couldn’t help admiring your tactful answers as you said what you liked best about each member of his unit, including himself.

There was no doubt that the five would have stayed and talked your ears off forever, had you not eventually fallen asleep. Watching you slumber so peacefully, sure they had put the smile on your face, each of the Combaticons felt joy warm their cores. In just one day you had become so precious to them and all because you listened to them more than any other Cybertronian ever had.

“Let us all admit that we are feeling the same thing for this organic,” Onslaught whispered, resting his helm against the bars of your cage.

The other bots murmured in agreement.

“Then let’s bust her out,” Brawl growled. “We have more than enough firepower to do it.”

“Yeah,” Blast Off agreed, “And nobody could look as good doing it as we could.”

Vortex started shaking excitedly, “Oooh, I sense a prison break coming on, just like the human movie, Impossible Mission.”

“It was Mission Impossible, you dolt.”

Onslaught sighed, “You’re forgetting that we’ve got direct orders from Megatron to make sure (s)he doesn’t escape.”

“Do we though?” Swindle asked mischievously. “As far as I’m aware, our orders were to ‘make sure the Autobots don’t take her at any cost.’ I don’t see any Autobots here, do you?”

Onslaught considered that momentarily; Swindle really could find a loophole in anything. “Well…as long as we are all in agreement.”

As if in response, the team started their combined transformation into Bruticus, leaving room for Onslaught to join in. He did so happily, feeling the freedom and power that came with combining.

“Bruticus rescue (Y/N),” The now giant bot said monosyllabically. “(Y/N) belongs to Bruticus now.”

You had long since gotten over the shock of being kidnapped for the second time that day; it helped that your new-found captor was actually the five Combaticons you had met earlier that night. All the same, you weren’t sure what was going to happen next and it seemed that Bruticus didn’t either.

“So,” You wondered how to broach your next question, “Where do we go from here?”

Bruticus shrugged his shoulders, then lowered his servo to let you down onto the beach shore. “Bruticus don’t know. What human want to do?”

“I- Hmm… I’d like to thank you for the heroic rescue.”

Bruticus’ fans started blasting in what you had come to know as a Cybertronian blush.

“And I would like to invite you to come and visit me in my home whenever you want… even though we’re really far away from it right now.”

“Not far for Bruticus. I can take you home right now.”

“Really?” You half laughed. “You would do that for me?”

“Yes, Bruticus like new friend.”

You weren’t sure how to react to that. To be perfectly honest, you were wondering exactly what you had said or done to make the Combaticons like you so quickly. If you could make the other Decepticons like you just as much then maybe you could make life a lot easier for the Autobots in the process. Either way, you were glad you weren’t a hostage anymore, though you still had no idea quite how enamoured the Combaticons had become with you in just one night. Humans had a word for how the Combaticons felt about you; they were smitten.

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[thenamesblurrito]

Roster: where is x character in this AU? Who are they, what are they doing?

Checked my notes and found that I’d already written these three down, and in fact they’re all roommates too, so I’m doing three birds with one stone.

Seawatch got into the Academy with a handful of other younglings from the Micro Compact, like Fixit. He’s never been to this part of Cybertron before, and Iacon is brilliant and dazzling. He does miss cruising the Mithril Sea in his minibot hydrofoil alt mode.

Knock Out considers this his big break. He’s visited Caminus and Eukaris before, but coming from Velocitron to actually live on Cybertron is just the kind of chance he needs to make a name for himself as a gorgeous future star. Mecha here really seem to know how to shine up a paintjob, and in return he can spin circles around them on his freshly cleaned wheels. The people of this planet might be a little slow sometimes, but at least some of them are cute, like that one nervous bot named Breakdown. Every time he winks at the other youngling, he fumbles and breaks something. The stereotype about vain and pretty racing frames holds up for him, but he has also discovered a knack for medical mechanics that he’s honing under the teaching of Ratchet.

Ironhide never really liked the bigger cities of Cybertron, always preferring the rural states or his home on Luna 1. People here are too fast, too brash, too uncaring about a few good words and quality work. Nevertheless, he’s found plenty of camaraderie and more opportunities to learn and grow than he knows what to do with. When the factions showed up, he started cheering on the Autobots, but then the Elite Guard appeared, and he wouldn’t mind spending the rest of his days staring at Elita 3... His dense size three truck frame makes him strong and sturdy, so he often jumps to the defense of his friends whenever a bully appears or a natural disaster strikes.

Slipstream finds Iacon... quaint. Compared to the splendor of the highest districts of Vos, populated solely by the highest-of-high caste like herself, the Academy is merely alright. She should be completely horrified at having to brush wings with commoners from lower classes, but really she finds them intriguing. It’s so different from what she’s used to, and if anyone back home heard her opinions, she’d be disgraced completely. Nevertheless, she’s cautiously made friends among the student body, like Flamewar, Thundercracker, and Sunstorm. Her size 4 seeker frame is the envy of many, delicate, swooping, and gorgeous, her poise automatically marking her as better than the rabble of society she’s surrounded by.

Krok is here on a sports scholarship, and he’s determined to shut out all the drama, disasters, and dumbafts that may distract him from improving his grades and his performance. Unfortunately, he’s fallen in with a group of morons who have somehow decided to make him their de facto leader. They call themselves the Scavengers, a semi-official extracurricular club focused on hunting down cryptids, like the mothmech Necrobot, or the Gatoraider of Iacon’s sewers. If several factions of superheroes hadn’t started wreaking havoc across the city, he would’ve dismissed the club as nonsense, but now he can’t help but wondering if they’re on the trail of something seriously supernatural. Despite what Misfire says, he has a size 5 krankodile beast alt, not an alloygator, thank you very much.

[the-odd-job]

Up in Flames chapter 15 - Suckerpunch (Ashes Part 2)

Warnings: Major Character Death, Chose Not to Use Category: Other Fandom: Transformers Relationships: Megatron/Sunstreaker, Megatron/Sideswipe, Sideswipe & Sunstreaker Characters: Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, Wildrider, Drag Strip Additional Tags: Dubcon, Mechpreg, Sticky Words: 4105

( Previous )

Driving. As exhilarating as flying could be, for a grounder nothing rarely beat driving. Even Sideswipe, as much as he enjoyed heights, wouldn’t have wanted to switch his wheels for wings. It was enough that he could facilitate short-term flight with his jetpack. That was all he’d ever asked for.

Sunstreaker didn’t fear heights any more than his brother did, and he enjoyed well paved roads as much as he did.

They were all sporty vehicles—namely, him, Sideswipe, Drag Strip, and Wildrider of all mecha—and it was a true race as they tore through the roads at utterly reckless speeds. The artificial limitations on their engines were done away with in favor of chasing Wildridre and Drag Strip and being chased by them, because the Decepticons for sure didn’t bother even pretending they were normal Earth vehicles. 

No normal Earth vehicle, definitely not ones of their respective alt-modes, could reach the speeds they were going at.

The sparkling was just about soaring, pulsing its excitement madly, and Sunstreaker had to admit he felt quite a bit of that emotion himself. Not just because of the speeds they were traveling in, but because driving with Wildrider would have been utterly terrifying, were Sunstreaker prone to the emotion. The mech was mad. Absolutely mad, and on the road with him was the last place you wanted to be in. 

But they’d never said no to a good challenge, and when Wildrider had asked if they’d like to go out for a drive with him… Good sense would have said “hell no”.

They had no good sense, apparently. All they’d needed to do to get permission to go from the high and mighty command was take along a fourth mech, and it was only natural to ask another of the Stunticons. Drag Strip, then, because racing the ambitious mech absolutely obsessed with always winning could only go well. 

The plan was fool proof. Give no fucks about any Earth rules and limitations, stick to the well maintained roads because they were all of alt-modes that couldn’t really handle anything else, and fucking drive.

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d gone this fast, this hard, this long. Every curve taken was a death trap, made only more so by Wildrider’s presence. About no one wanting to drive with him, not even his fellow Stunticons? Yeah, that was for a good reason. Anything and everything he could do to harass them into a costly mistake, he did.

Driving at high speeds was a challenge on its own. Doing that while someone was doing their damnedest to make you crash, well, that was on another level. They’d never actually participated in wreck racing before, and while this wasn’t that officially, it was probably real damn close to the real experience. The death traps and ramps were missing, but the murderous competition definitely wasn’t.

Drag Strip hadn’t been too thrilled to come along for that very reason, but the call of showing two Lamborghinis who was the best and the fastest eventually won over the well earned fear of Wildrider. So far, though, nothing disastrous had happened despite Wildrider’s road manners. It wasn’t that there hadn’t been far too many close calls for anyone sane’s comfort, but Drag Strip had had quite a bit of practice at surviving Wildrider, and the twins weren’t bad drivers by any measure. They could handle it.

They burned through rubber and energon for hours. The sun was barely up when they’d left the Victory, and it was well on its downward arch now, when Drag Strip suggested a final finish line to their race. Choose the victor once and for all—or at least, for this particular outing. No doubt there would be a grudging loser who’d want a rematch, no matter who made it over the finish line first.

But so they settled on a particular crossroads coming up ahead as their final destination. Whoever passed it first—that would be crowned the victor of today. 

With that goal in mind, Wildrider turned even more wild, Drag Strip pushed himself to his limit, Sideswipe rerouted more power into his engine, and Sunstreaker… Tried not to have his finish scratched by Wildrider. That, and if they came in enough contact to damage his finish, chances were a painful wreck would soon follow.

No contact was the best course of action, but Wildrider did not make it easy. Whatever was the mech’s obsession with being an absolute terror on the roads, he was very serious about it. If you didn’t know any better you’d think he was trying to kill you. 

Or maybe he was, despite all the reasons why killing Sunstreaker right then would’ve been a terrible idea—mostly centering around the sparkling and Megatron’s retribution if you caused something to happen to it. 

But equally likely it was that Wildrider just didn’t consider those kinds of things, or didn’t give a frag. He had quite a few screws loose already; that really wasn’t a stretch of the imagination.

After another near miss swerve Sunstreaker was at least able to put himself ahead of Wildrider and not have to worry about him sideswiping him off the road—or into the unforgiving rock face that rose up on their left.

Instead he got to worry about him ramming his rear, but the remedy to that was to just be faster.  

Sideswipe was ahead the both of them, neck to neck with Drag Strip, but then he inched past him, slowly but steadily. His brother couldn’t entirely undo his failsafes as Sunstreaker sometimes unwittingly did, but he knew how to push himself to his absolute limit within those constraints, and he did just that now.

All to win the race, despite forcing his engine into redlining. Heat blasted from the vents of his alt-mode, and Drag Strip wasn’t much better off. His field was determination. Sideswipe’s was thrill.

The sparkling was drowning him in that too. He hadn’t raced just like this yet, not with it—if he ever had—but it was loving every moment of it, every close call that sent a zap through Sunstreaker’s spark, and the speed. Wind whipped across his alt-mode as he fought against the atmosphere, and that was enough to bring out the best of his spark—the elementary of what it was like to have wheels. 

Would the little one ever know the feeling? Time would tell what alt-mode it would choose, or if it would go for several like its sire. Moreso it would remain to be seen whether the one or one of the two modes it would choose would have tires, but even if it would… There was still the chance that it would choose to be too large for the kind of physical feats their smaller frames allowed the twins to do.

Racing like this, for example. Maybe it could drive, but you needed to be a comparatively smaller, lighter frame to drive like this.  

Those would be choices it would need to make later. Maybe this experience would influence it though. Who knew.

And it was Sideswipe who made it across their finish line first, hitting the brakes as soon as he did and spinning into a victorious stop. Drag Strip’s engine revved first in exertion, then in annoyance as he too reached the end of their race and braked to a screeching stop that left black tire marks on the asphalt. 

Sunstreaker was the next to reach them, turning sharply out of Wildrider’s way who shot way past the lot of them in his attempt to ram Sunstreaker’s rear. Sideswipe cackled as he transformed back to his pedes, and Sunstreaker couldn’t say he wasn’t smiling when he did the same.

Drag Strip came out of his alt-mode too, his face like a thundercloud. Sideswipe gave him a saccharine smile. “Looks like you still have some improvement to do. I can show you some tricks!”

“You cheated, you damn well did!” Drag Strip accused him, marching over and jabbing a digit in Sideswipe’s face.

His brother had the audacity to laugh at the accusation. Drag Strip growled, and… Then the two were already tumbling across the desert dirt, away from the rock wall framing one side of the road.

You know, the one Wildrider had tried to have him slam against for the past mile or so.

“You’re nuts,” Sunstreaker commented to the mad mech once he drove back from the distance he’d driven to in his excitement.

Wildrider laughed as he transformed. He sounded a lot like a hyena when he did that, and there probably wasn’t even the whisper of an apologetic thought in him. “You’re not exactly the picture of sanity either, Sunny.”

Sunstreaker hmphed, ignoring the jab of a nickname. It wasn’t like that particular one was forbidden territory. 

Primus help anyone who dared utter the ones he wasn’t okay with.

Drag Strip and Sideswipe were… It wasn’t really fighting, more just shoving each other around and sometimes tossing one to the dirt. And bickering. Or, Drag Strip throwing insults and more accusations of whatever manner of things—Sunstreaker was pretty sure he had Sideswipe painted as a criminal mastermind at this point—and Sideswipe doing a good impression of Wildrider with his laughter. His lack of a proper reaction only aggravated Drag Strip further.

On and on they went. Sunstreaker sighed, running a servo down his face as the two tumbled their way towards the sunset. So atmospheric.  

And he was off guard, he knew he was. There had been nothing the whole day to suggest there was any reason to be on guard, so he wasn’t. He didn’t notice anything amiss before the thudding clang of metal hitting the pavement had him glancing to his side in alarm, just to see Wildrider a graceless heap on the ground.

His optics shot upward in the next moment, meeting Mirage’s gaze. “Sorry about this,” the spy said, but before Sunstreaker could do more than rev in fruitless threat, Mirage had already put his spec ops training to good use.

The world was very quick to go dark.

Not for Sideswipe, though, but it was fragging impossible to miss first Sunstreaker’s alarm, then the… Nothing that followed. At once he shook Drag Strip off of him and turned back to the direction of Sunstreaker and Wildrider. It wasn’t hard to recognize Mirage.

It was even easier to make out the sound of a fast approach by aerials that weren’t Seekers. He really wished they had been. Things were far too complicated for Autobots to be considered friends anymore—and complicated enough to consider the Decepticons that instead. 

But now they were quickly getting outnumbered by Autobots, and Sunstreaker was out for the count already. So was Wildrider by the looks of things. That was two against six at best, and that was assuming no other Autobots were inbound.

Sideswipe would’ve taken his chances with them anyway, if Drag Strip hadn’t caught him by the arm. “Don’t–”

“I can’t just do nothing!” Sideswipe viciously interrupted whatever the Stunticon wanted to say, and tried to yank himself free. His spark was spinning wildly in his chassis, strangling him and he had to–

Drag Strip’s hold was surprisingly strong though, and he only yanked back, nearly pulling Sideswipe off his balance.

“That’s suicide!” Drag Strip hissed at him just as the Aerialbots, all of them, landed. Skyfire, too. The Autobots didn’t approach them, and Drag Strip wouldn’t let him approach them– “Or maybe not suicide, but you’ll just fragging get yourself captured too!”

Was that what the Autobots wanted to do? Capture Sunstreaker?

Why the pit would they do that?

What else were they doing? This was looking a little incriminating. Sideswipe growled and he still tried to pull himself free—and Drag Strip still wouldn’t let him. Frustration mounted until he would’ve slugged the fucker across the face if Drag Strip hadn’t continued, “What good are you if you get captured too, huh? You’re tied, right? We won’t know what the frag’s happening to you if they have both of you.”

Sideswipe thought fast, trying and mostly failing at piecing his thoughts together beyond no this can’t be happening! But, he did get the point—point being that he would be the window to everything the Autobots would do to Sunstreaker, if he was with the Decepticons.

Could he really help Sunstreaker if he went with him? He’d just be… Slag, he didn’t know what the Autobots were even planning, but he’d be in the same mess, and maybe there would be nothing he could realistically do about it from the inside–

But if he stayed on the outside…

Sideswipe keened, but he had to… Frag, he had to look at the bigger picture, past the moment. Megatron would never let this stand, not with his sparkling on the line too. He’d blow a hole straight through the Autobots if it meant getting it back, Sideswipe didn’t doubt that.

It would save Sunstreaker by extension.

And this was about saving him, wasn’t it? He couldn’t help his brother right now, not really, but it remained Sunstreaker wasn’t agreeing to this. They were taking his choice away from him, and who knew what the pit they were planning to do next.

Who fucking knew…

“Fuck fuck fuck,” Sideswipe chanted quietly, grabbing his helm with his free servo—but did he have any real choice, if he wanted to do the smart thing?

The smart thing right then wasn’t giving in to his near overwhelming desire to stay with Sunstreaker.

“What about Wildrider?” he asked, knowing his optics were wide, pale, and wild. His spark felt pretty wild too, fighting his processors on what to do—follow his emotions, or follow the conclusion of his thoughts.

He had to do the latter. 

“Lost cause,” was all Drag Strip said before tugging at him, his field not much calmer than what Sideswipe felt, though probably for different reasons.

It was clear he was in a big rush to get away. Sideswipe wasn’t, but… Do the smart thing.

Get the fuck away from here before the Autobots could do something to them too.

Get the fuck back to the Decepticons. If he wanted this mess to be cleared somehow… He couldn’t do it on his own.

And he couldn’t disagree that there wasn’t anything more they could do for Wildrider than there was anything they could do for Sunstreaker right then. 

“Yeah, okay,” Sideswipe said, or tried to, but slag his voice was so full of static. His head swam, but he had to keep it together, he had to, he had to…

He could barely pull a single vent without choking on thin air, but he didn’t resist this time when Drag Strip pulled him, and followed the Stunticon through his transformation.

They peeled off, back in the direction of the Victory, the moment their wheels hit the ground.

( Next )

[murasaki-murasame]

After a billion years of waiting, the 2nd anniversary digest is out, and even though it didn’t talk about quite as much stuff as I expected, the stuff it DID show off was extremely good on just about every level, and oh boy do I have some thoughts about it, lol.

I’m not even sure where to begin with this one, lmao. There’s so much stuff they talked about, and so much stuff they DIDN’T even talk about. Like how they didn’t talk about the October events and banners even though they’re teased at on the 2nd anniversary website, which I guess means we’ll have to wait longer for info on that.

we also didn’t get any info on a collab, but I assume they’re going to announce that at the start of November and have the collab itself release a few weeks later.

I’m kinda sad that they accidentally leaked out the existence of guns, but I still got to experience all the shock and surprise about it, so that was fun. I’m really surprised that they’re adding a new weapon type so late into the game. Especially since they don’t seem to be planning to retcon any old adventurers into being gun units, which means that they’re going to make up a super tiny portion of the pool. But I still really like how they work, from what we’ve seen of them.

It’s great that Joe got a new gun alt who everyone gets for free, but it really feels like they screwed him over by making him a 3-star, lol. He’s probably gonna get immediately replaced by any light gun units they introduce after this point. But it’s still nice to see him get some love. He was the perfect unit to go for to showcase the new weapon type.

All the changes to weapon and wyrmprints are extremely overwhelming, so it’ll probably be a while until I have an actual opinion on them. But thus far I think it’s fine, but we REALLY need the ability to save wyrmprint set-ups so we don’t have to spend so much time shuffling them about again and again.

It’s kinda sad that it’s such an eldwater sink if you want to equip the same print to multiple units, but it’s much cheaper to do that with event prints, so you can still fill your team out with some good prints. And on the other hand, this is actually why I’m fine with the fact that so many prints are almost identical now, since it means you have way less of a need to actually spend eldwater to get extra copies. There’s like 4+ different prints that all give 30% skill damage, so you’d never actually have a reason to bother getting extra copies of any of them, if you at least already had all these prints before this update. It does make it harder to keep track of if you end up using like 15+ different prints across a whole team, but still, the eldwater cost is more or less avoidable if you just use different prints with the same effects.

I think the weapon bonus thing is going to be the most grindy, long-term part of this update, but I’m cool with it. It gives everyone something to slowly work towards, like when you’re at the stage of leveling your dojos. The issue is that people will want to max their weapon boosts as quickly as possible, but it’s clearly not designed to be rushed like that.

It’ll all take a lot of getting used to, but I’m happy that they’ve drastically cut down on the amount of weapons in the game, and made the progression system more linear. Once everyone gets used to it and more people start playing the game after this update, it’ll become more natural.

We also got a bit of an overhaul to the textures and lighting/rendering for all the 3D models, which still feels like a really strange decision to me. It gives them a really different sort of aesthetic, and I have mixed feelings about it. I think if they made it a bit less ‘harsh’ I’d really like it, but at the moment there’s a bit too much contrast between the lighting and the shading, and the black outlining just looks a bit odd.

We also got the big adventurer balance change, and even though it’ll be a while before we’ve got all the new numbers and stuff for everyone, I already get the feeling that Vice is gonna end up way worse than he was before this. Which is sad, since outright nerfing people always sucks, but I get why they did it. It messed with the balance too much to have a 3-star be in like the top 3 for DPS units across the entire game. At the very least they gave him poison on his S1 so he can afflict that more often now, instead of it just being on his S2.

Just going by what they’ve said, and what we can see in-game, one of the really big changes seems to be how basically all of the healers except Grace now have strength buffs on their S1s, which basically all seem to be 15% for 60 seconds. Which is a really interesting way to make healers more relevant, but I like it. I think it doesn’t stack, so you won’t get as much buff uprime as with dedicated buff units, but it at least means they contribute SOMETHING to the team’s DPS.

One other notable change is how T-Hope now has a 15% strength buff on his S1, which makes it pretty much exactly the same as Patia. So that should make auto eCiella a lot faster, with how often he gets that skill off, lol. This was something I expected him to eventually get via a spiral, but in general a lot of stuff in this balance patch feels like mana spiral upgrades in all but name, which is neat.

Lots of characters also got more status punisher stuff, which should hopefully at least make more units stronger. Most of it’s all pretty self-explanatory, but it’s kinda interesting that Norwin is now a poison punisher unit. I guess it’s one way to make him somewhat relevant to the shadow meta, lol.

They also buffed the older gala units, which is great. At least this way they can put off on establishing the precedent of gala mana spirals, by just directly buffing the old ones. We’ll see how it turns out when all the exact numbers have been datamined, but it seems like they’ve addressed the main isseus with G-Mym, G-Sarisse, G-Ranzal, and G-Euden. 

I also noticed that they added defense debuffs to a fair amount of units, and made a lot of existing defense debuff moves land more often, so that’s interesting.

I’m also pretty excited to try out Pipple with this balance patch, since he now gets a 30% strength buff for himself with his S2. It at least makes it so that it’s always worth using whenever you can.

They didn’t announce anything about new endgame bosses like we expected, but it does sound like we’re still getting some eventually, and it’ll just come up later. Which is a good idea, probably, since we need some time to keep focusing on Agito stuff.

And on the note of the Agito fights, and current endgame content in general, I really like the addition of solo versions of all of them. For one thing it means a new wave of first clear bonuses, but it also means that you can pretty much entirely avoid co-op if you want to. The solo fights seem to give less rewards, but hopefully still enough that you can just stick to doing them exclusively if you want to. I haven’t tried any of it out, but it sounds like they’re all balanced around solo play, which should make it way more easier to do them than it was to try and solo fights that were designed for co-op.

It’s also kinda funny to me that even though they said we’re getting another tier of difficulty for the Agito fights, the only thing we know that we’re getting from it is fancier skins for the Agito weapons. They’ll probably still get stat boosts, but I could see them pretty much just being cosmetic upgrades.

They also upgraded the amount of weekly chests for HDTs and Agitos to five, and it sounds like we’re gonna start getting double drop events for them soon, so that’s great. In general I think this whole update will make it way easier to actually do endgame grinding, especially with the solo fights.

And then there’s the elephant in the room, which is the new battle royale mode. I haven’t tried it yet, but honestly I actually like the sound of it, lol. I absolutely never expected that they’d add something like this, especially since it’s effectively PVP, but it actually sounds perfectly fine. It’ll probably get tweaked as time goes on, but it sounds like you barely even get any extra rewards from it by winning compared to just dying immediately, and the whole mode is designed to have you start from a blank slate where you and everyone else are at the same playing field, so it’s basically entirely skill-based, and you don’t even need to be good at it to get rewards.

I wasn’t even sure how they’d handle PVP in an action RPG like this, but I think this is a good way to go about it.

We’re also getting a return of the time attack mode, which is . . . worrying, but hopefully now that people are much more familiar with both HDTs and Agitos, it’ll go by a lot more smoothly.  I’m surprised they’re even touching this concept again after how badly it was received the first time, but I’m curious to see how it goes. I know a lot of people really liked it, so hopefully it’s balanced so that you can ignore it if you want to, without feeling like you’re missing out on too much.

They also finally got around to adding sparking, which is great. I honestly wasn’t really expecting it at this point, but after the patch notes got revealed yesterday I figured this was probably gonna happen. I know some people would wish it had been introduced earlier, but I’m glad it’s finally a thing. I still don’t think it’s as much of a make or break issue for me as it is for others, but it’s still pretty much an objective bonus over the old/current system. My main concern with sparking, though, has always been that it might lead them to notably tanking the amount of summons we can do each month as F2P players, which would cancel out the good parts of sparking, but I doubt they’d do that.

Either way, it seems to work in exactly the same way as GBF, in that each summon gets you a unique bit of currency, and when you get 300 of it, you can trade it for a featured unit of your choice. But also like with GBF, your sparks reset after each banner and turn into different items that you can exchange at a store for regular in-game items, so your 300 summons all have to be on the same banner, and you can’t just accumulate a spark by summoning across several banners. Though one thing that seems to be different to GBF is that summons done with diamantum give you twice the amount of sparks, which is really interesting, since it really cuts down on the amount of money you’d need to spend to get a spark that way. It’d still be super expensive to do an entire spark just through diamantum, but 150 summons with diamantum is still way cheaper than 300, lol.

If they keep our monthly summon income about the same as it’s been thus far even after they add sparking, I think that we’d be able to do a spark every 6-8 weeks just from event and log-in bonus rewards. At the moment we get around 150-200 summons per month just from all that, so it seems like it’ll be WAY faster to save for a spark than it is in GBF [where outside of specific holiday periods that have free summon events you’re probably looking at 4+ months of saving to be able to spark].

This at least means it’ll be way easier to plan out my hoarding, since I know that as long as I have 300+ summons saved, I can at least spark a new unit I want. And there’s always the possibility of just getting them early and being able to quit while I’m ahead.

And on the note of summons, we’re also getting 330 free summons total between the anniversary and the end of October, which is absolutely insane. Sadly you can’t save up sparks across banners, so you won’t be able to do a spark JUST from that, but it’d go a long way to helping supplement a spark on a specific banner.

It looks like we’re gonna get a short pre-gala of sorts soon that’ll contain all the previous gala units, but I’m probably gonna skip that, outside of the free pulls. The only one I don’t have from that set is Gala Alex, and at this point I’d rather just chase her when she’s in a future gala remix. If it’s anything like the same type of bonus gala we got for the first anniversary, all the featured units on this banner will probably have lower than normal rates to make up for how many of them will be on the banner, so it’d just be a really low-value banner for someone like me who already has all but one of them. I’m also not even sure if I’d be able to get all the way to 300 summons that quickly.

Either way I’m more interested in saving for stuff like Halloween, Christmas, new gala dragons, and New Years.

We’re also getting Gala Zena on the anniversary itself, and I think everyone saw her coming, lol. She’s not a gun unit, though, which is actually a bit lame, even though I figured it wouldn’t happen. Her being an attack-type light staff unit is really interesting, at least if she ends up working like Heinwald, but I’m still not sure if I’d be interested in actually spending resources to try and get her.

The gala banner is also going to have the new girl from the anniversary event, and a Midgardsormr alt. Though it sounds like he’s going to be non-limited, so he’s not our wind gala dragon.

The anniversary event also sounds extremely interesting. It sounds like we’re time-traveling back 1000 years to when Ilia created her religion, and she seems to basically be a punk biker girl, which is extremely cool on so many levels. It also kinda looks like Zethia is going to be the MC of this event, and it might not even feature Euden and co, which would be a nice change of pace.

I thought Ilia might be our new welfare unit, but going by the preview image for the event it looks like it’ll be Mordecai, who looks like he’s gonna end up possessed by Morsayati or something, since he looks a lot like Morsayati’s human form we’ve seen a few times. I hope he’s a gun unit, just so we can get more of them, but we’ll see how it goes.

I’m guessing that Ilia will eventually be playable, but maybe just for the 3rd anniversary event or something.

We also got a tease at the next three main story chapters, which all look really interesting. It seems like the Archangels event is going to pretty immediately become important to the story, and now we’re heading off to North Grastaea. We’re also going to be going to the fairy kingdom eventually, which is cool, especially since the teaser for it heavily implied that Notte will become a playable character then.

Which also reminds me that we’re probably eventually going to get a gun unit from the main story, since we have all the other weapon types already, but I doubt Notte will be a gun unit, lol.

Going by the teasers, I also get the feeling that Leonidas and Chelle will be our next two gala adventurers, and at least one of them, if not both, will probably be a gun unit. I think one of the shots of Leonidas had a gun visible in it, but Chelle’s also apparently the one who introduced guns to the world, so who knows how that’ll turn out. At the very least they did say that we’re gonna start getting new gun units soon, and we might get a lot of them really quickly to help fill out the pool. Which also means that some of the new holiday units might end up using guns, so that’s also worth saving for.

I also get the feeling that we might take a break from gala dragons for a while, since we’ve basically run out of good options for them. But who knows. We still need ones for water and wind.

Hopefully with the spark system in place I’ll be able to spark on at least the Halloween and New Years banners, since those are my top two priorities, but we’ll see how it goes. It’s always scary to enter limited holiday banner hell season, but at least they introduced sparking right before it all starts. At the moment I think I’ve got like 150 summons saved up, but I’ve still got most of my reset co-op rewards to go through, and I haven’t touched the Halloween event they added to the compendium, so that’ll add a lot. I think the anniversary log-in bonus will also give us like 2k wyrmite, and if the retweet event succeeds we’ll get an extra 1.2k wyrmite. So as long as they don’t tank our monthly summon currency, I should be able to spark on Halloween if I can commit to saving for it. Which is much easier said than done, lol.

All in all I think I really love this update, but it REALLY changes the entire game, so it’s gonna take a long time to get used to. And thankfully even with the introduction of stuff like sort-of-PVP, it doesn’t look like they’re going in any sort of P2W direction with the game.

Also, there’s still the 45-minute Game Live presentation set to come later tonight, but I’m not expecting that to tell us much, since it’ll probably be targeted at new players. I’m still holding out hope for a Switch port announcement, though.

[sternerstufftoys]

Spin doctor

It is the year 1988... ...On realising that the US embassy in Moscow was full of listening devices, the Americans wisely decide the building itself is to blame and tear it down... ...The Phantom of the Opera opens. Theatre dies. ...and in the Transformers, mom jeans are the new in-thing among fashion-conscious Decepticons...

The thing is, quite by chance, Spinister has had rather a decent run in the comics. In his Marvel days he was an elite fighter with the Mayhem Attack Squad, and in IDW he was an absolute idiot who just so happened to be a skilled surgeon. In both incarnations he took part in multiple adventures and generally made rather a decent name for himself. Compared to others of his generation he comes off pretty well, though you can't help but wonder if his contemporaries ever got at all jealous of his status. Skullcruncher never really made much of an impact, for example.

In the Marvel comic he was a general-purpose hardass, having to put up with Needlenose's whining and incompetence with a grimace and a growl, and then teaming up with Thunderwing in an increasingly factional and divided Decepticon army. It's a bit odd that James Roberts would decide to so utterly diverge from this in More Than Meets The Eye and make him a surgeon, but it's hardly unwelcome. The Scavengers were always a treat when they showed up, and it would be far more out-of-place if Spinister kept to his toy bio, all mysterious and brooding, while everyone around him was an absolute goof. Nope, Spnister got to goof as well. A good goof.

All the more surprising when you recall that his G1 toy was a bit crap all told. Being a double targetmaster sounds great - twice as good as a regular targetmaster, right? Except the figure is smaller and less detailed, and the nebulon partners are just blocks with a couple of guys chiselled into the underside and a transformation that consists of flipping a single piece over. Spin forward (ha) a few decades though, and the Spinny Boi has had rather an impressive upgrade.

In robot mode there's little to fault, so long as you get over that colour scheme that looks like he's wearing a pink jumper with a pair of blue jeans. It's remarkable only insofar as it's unusual in transformer robot design, which tends to prefer using one colour as armour, another as the body underneath. Nah, Spinister is keeping it casual, ready for a day out at the zoo with the kids. You get two cockpits in this mode, which is accurate to his G1 boxart, if nothing else. Only one can become the actual cockpit in alt mode of course, and this is where the praise starts to go a little flat.

Transforming Spinister is a bit of a nightmare. It seems to have been designed for every part to be moving at the same time, which would look pretty rad when animated, but is a bugger to do with regular human fingers and thumbs. While not nearly as fiddly as Generations Straxus or as impossible as MMC's Azalea mould, it's still a faff to try and get the legs in exactly the right position to lock in properly. And then they still don't, if the joints aren't lined up precisely to the nearest .1 of a degree.

And the helicopter mode is... well it's a beast of a thing, all bulk and firepower, though if you do try and add WFC Battlemasters to it they can only fit underneath in a rather ungainly fashion. The second cockpit sneaks away underneath and looks almost like a cargo hatch or a gunnery position, something with a bit of imagination at least. And if it weren't for the fact that this attack chopper is bright pink it might be considered scary. Okay, perhaps it still is. Pleasingly the rotors spin well, and tuck up quite effectively in robot mode, which is usually a bit of a sticking problem with copterformers, who frequently have to detach their blades and use them as a dumb spinny weapon. But no dumb spinny weapons for our dumb Spinny lad. He has guns. Or people who turn into guns.

Last thing on that point though - why in the world is it so hard to get your hands on a Singe and Shrute combo? The latter is locked away in the Amazon exclusive Skywarp pack which is no longer available, and the former is supposedly mass retail, but good luck finding any. I wouldn't mind so much, as Shrute can be cobbled together from other battlemasters, and Singe is kind of boring to look at anyway, but Singe's wave mate? Only bloody Rung, isn't it? Sigh.

[futuresmashmemes]

You're called Future Smash memes-- can you see into the future of my universe? We just had 6 more character slots announced for our game, meaning there are 6 we dont know who they'll be! Do you have any insight? Or at least a prediction o'wise one?

Hmm. You know, I’ve been told that your timeline is the “main” one, and therefore is very tricky to predict and deal with. It may not be much, but I guess I’ll give my two cents on who I think the final six DLC slots for this timeline will be.

First of all, it’s important to remember that these choices were made by Nintendo, not Sakurai. I think that’s the reason why we got Sans and Cuphead miis in this timeline rather than full on fighters: for one reason or another, Nintendo didn’t want them (or at least, didn’t want them as much as the chosen fighters). Sakurai has said that he’s an avid fan of Undertale and Cuphead, so this makes sense. Then again, he’s also an avid Persona fan and I still don’t get why Nintendo would’ve chosen it of all franchises. Don’t get me wrong, Persona looks great and all (never played it myself), but it’s not very…Nintendo, y’know?

With that in mind, I think it’s safe to say that we won’t be getting an indie rep. Nintendo currently doesn’t seem to be very open to the idea of full on indie reps, so that means that characters like Hat Kid probably won’t get in (maybe as a mii costume, though aHiT isn’t as well known for its music as undertale and cuphead are, so I don’t think it would be a deluxe costume). Really, the only indie reps I see getting in are either Reimu or (as much as I hate to say it) Steve. Touhou is the poster child for popular indie projects, even if it isn’t as big over here as it is in Japan. ZUN is also open to the idea of Reimu in smash. The main things that go against Reimu is the fact that she isn’t very well known outside of Japan (and those who do know her often associate her with loli culture, which might be a problem) and because the way the franchise is set up, legalities with Touhou would either be really easy or really, really hard. Steve, on the other hand, has sort of transcended being an indie character. Minecraft recently overtook Tetris as the best selling game of all time, and has become a household name around the world. Maybe I’m just projecting (I’m probably the only person from my generation that doesn’t like Minecraft), but I don’t think Steve is getting in either. First of all, legality with Microsoft would probably be an issue as they would certainly demand more money for Steve than Banjo, who, while a treasured character worthy of his spot, comes from a dead IP who wasn’t had a new game since 2008. Also, similar to former best seller Tetris, I just don’t think that Minecraft’s blocky, pixelated art style and rigid player animations would be a good fit for smash. Again, totally me projecting, but that’s just what I think. I do expect to get Steve over mii swordfighter, though. That makes sense.

Now with my little indie rant out of the way, I’ll do a bullet-point list for characters that I’ve posted memes about on the blog before and what I think of their chances of getting in:

First of all, I think it’s obvious that Raz isn’t going to be one of the DLC characters. Yes, Psychonauts 2 is coming out later this year and the first game is one of my favorite video games of all time and he would fit in perfectly, but let’s be real. The franchise is a cult classic that has never been released on a Nintendo system in any way and probably sold horribly in Japan. Double Fine was also recently bought out by Microsoft which really killed any small chance he had of making it in. Sir Daniel is in a similar position

First/second party characters like Bandana Dee and Impa I think are deconfirmed because most of them are represented by Spirits, and I don’t think that they would “double dip.” And because of the scope of spirits mode, I think it’s unlikely that we’ll get any older characters from prexisting franchises (I say older so people won’t hound me with “WELL BYLETH GOT IN SO”).

We are not getting another FE rep lol. Rip red head merchant waifu.

Shooter characters are in a really weird spot since these games tend to not be made for kids (it’s easy to forget in all the hype and speculation that smash is first and foremost meant for kids), yet have made such a big cultural impact on the gaming scene that it’s hard to deny their “worthiness” to be in smash. Master Chief in particular is tricky to place since I definitely think he has much more character than most other shooter reps (cough cough Doomguy) and could have a more varied moveset than just “gun.” But that being said, he’s once again a character owned by Microsoft and comes from a franchise that up until very recently was Xbox exclusive and (as far as I’m aware, has never been released on a Nintendo system). It’s also important to remember that the original Xbox sold miserably in Japan, so I doubt that he’s getting in either.

On a similar note, I’ve seen people throw around ideas for a TF2 rep. This makes a lot more sense to me than Halo or Doom; the playable characters have much more personality and the cartoony aesthetic of the game fits in way better than most other shooters (cough cough Doom). I don’t know which character would be chosen though. Heavy probably? I think their main problem is that Valve would probably be picky about licensing and whatnot (I don’t think we’d be getting Gordon Freeman or Chell for the same reason). Additionally, I struggle to imagine TF2 without it’s signature dark humor which would most likely be cut for smash

Due to recent events, I do not think we will be getting an Overwatch or any other Blizzard rep.

If there’s one character I’d be willing to bet money on getting in, it’s Crash. While he’s never really been all that popular in Japan, it just feels right to me. He fits in perfectly, he has some history with Nintendo (even if he is more synonymous with PlayStation), and I mean…he just feels right. I know that sounds shitty after having just denied a bunch of other characters in an articulate manner, but I don’t know what else to say. I’m not even that big of a Crash fan. The only thing I can see hurting his chances is Activision potentially asking for money than Nintendo is willing to give (this is why he didn’t get into Pl’ystation Allst’rs)

Similarly, I think Spyro has a good chance of getting into smash, but not as well as Crash. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, but I always thought that Crash just had more of a cultural impact than Spyro did. I do think Spyro has a good chance of getting in though. Maybe some Skylanders/amiibo crosspromotion? Probably not.

Given how stingy they were with Hero (when compared to other DLC reps) and _especially _Cloud, I don’t think we’re getting another Square Enix rep, be it Sephiroth, a Black Mage, or Geno. That being said, it could’ve all been a long con and the FF7 remake will release alongside Sephiroth DLC with the actual fucking spirit battles that we should’ve gotten. Probably not though.

Dante I think has a pretty good chance at getting in. I think that he stands at a similar position to Bayonetta when it comes to censorship, so I think he could work. God knows that he would be broken if he did get in though.

I’ve been a big advocate for a Puyo Puyo rep in smash, and if we were to get one I think it would be Arle (maybe with other characters on her alts like Koopalings/Heroes). People have already theorized how her moveset could work, and I agree with that speculation wholeheartedly. Puyo Puyo unfortunately isn’t very well known outside of Japan since in the past it was usually released under a different brand (Dr. Robotnik’s Mean Bean Machine, Kirby Avalanche, etc). I do think that we absolutely need more puzzle reps than fucking Doctor Mario though, and Puyo Puyo seems perfect.

Professor Layton has unfortunately not had a new game in a long time (at least not one where he has a staring role), and outside of his swordsmanship, which is seen very rarely throughout the series, I don’t think that there’s much of a moveset to be made for him.

I love Ace Attorney, but I don’t think that Phoenix Wright is getting in. I don’t think that Sakurai would realistically just copy and paste his MvC3 moveset to smash and I don’t know what else you could do with him. Also, we haven’t gotten a new international release for Ace Attorney since 2016.

I know next to nothing about No More Heroes but I know a couple of people who will have a fit if I don’t mention Travis. I know there’s a sequel on the horizon but similar to Psychonauts, I don’t see it really happening. It feels to much like a cult classic to me. Once again, I know next to nothing about No More Heroes, so take that with a grain of salt.

I don’t think that any assist trophy characters will be “promoted” to playable through DLC.

And that’s about it. I know that sounded really pessimistic, but that’s honestly because I haven’t the foggiest idea about who’s going to get in. Everyone I want in in this timeline is either an assist trophy/spirit or a niche western/indie pick that I doubt has a chance. That sucks, but it’s just life. As long as we don’t get Goku or Fortnite though, I’ll be happy with whoever.

[afterspark-podcast]

G1 Episode 27: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

O: And so the Autobots are like, “AHHHHHHHHHHH!”

[Intro Music]

O: Hello and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast, an episode by episode recap of the Generation 1 Transformers cartoon, I’m Owls!

S: And I'm Specs.

O: Today we're going to be talking about episode number 27, Microbots.  Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Okay.

O: And now in South America!

S: White people doing white people things, as they do.

O: Digging up pottery. [laughs]

S: And we know they're white people because they're treating it like a game.

O: Also, the male archaeologist says how old an artifact is, immediately after digging it up.  Fuck carbon dating, real men can tell just by looking! [laughs]

S: The female scientist hits something strange while digging.  Something strange, in very fashionable Decepticon purple.

O: Ohh!

S: Come to think of it her hair is about the right kind of purple too, I'm surprised the Cons didn’t kidnap her as well.

O: [laughs]

S: Or won't.

O: [laughs] Surprise!  It's a spaceship.

S: These two archaeologists have unwittingly dug up the original Decepticon ship, the Nemesis.

O: Which you know, on a tangent, kind of got crashed there in Beast Wars.  Ahhhh! [laughs]

S: The Decepticons uh, catch this breaking news about this fascinating find.

O: But to the Ark!  Guys, guys, it's a Preceptor episode!  It is gonna be a good day, he is so cute.

S: He is, we're getting our good Preceptor, proper introduction.

O: Yes, and he deserves one, cuz he is a adorable.

S: Preceptor is attempting to fix a microchip that belongs to Ironhide, um, and he's hurried along by Brawn, who's being a dick.

O: VINDICATION!  Heh, Brawn is a jerk, even to his allies!

S: And we quote, “Real work is crushing Decepticons, not fussing with chips.”

O: Perceptor reminds Brawn that they fucking need him, and considering that the Cons try to blow up the planet every other week through some roundabout scientific nonsense- yes, having a scientist on staff is a good idea! [laughs]

S: Especially one who doesn't, you know, blow shit up all the time.

O: Yeah!  Wheeljack is a very specialized skill set. [laughs] Preceptor enlarges the microchip to repair it.

S: Chekhov's size changing ray, anyone?

O: Why, yes.  Bumblebee, being not a jackass, defends Perceptor as Brawn continues to be well, a jackass. [laughs]

S: I mean, I'd have to wonder how... basically, the team works?  But I guess Preceptor is one of the newer people who arrived, so I guess it makes sense that there'd be some tension.

O: Probably, but- but Brawn just seems like a jerk. [laughs]

S: He is, he is.  Optimus orders Bee, Brawn, and Ironhide to follow him as they head down to South America to stop the Decepticons from getting into their ship.  Cuz the Autobots have also caught the news- the news flash.

O: Obviously, now in South America, the Cons are blowing up lots and lots of trees.

S: It's what they do.

O: Starscream is attacked by an absolutely gigantic snake.

S: It's easily as big around as his arms, man.  It's super big!

O: Right!  And then we have Ravage frolicking with an actual jaguar.

S: And you know, his method of dealing with it involved shooting a missile at it before easily batting the jag- the jaguar away, and the jaguar’s just like-

O: “What the fuck?” [laughs]

S: “Screw this, I’m out of here!”

O: [laughs] Right?

S: And Starscream is, you know, able to shed the snake.

O: Puns- no, no!

S: Starscream had better be-leaf that Megatron has a plan.

O: No, no, this stops now!  Bonecrusher is just trundling along in the back moving some trees in vehicle mode and I just love it.  I think my personal headcanon is that the Constructicons are constantly doing their actual jobs while everyone is being morons, and I love it.

S: Considering how many, you know, bases of the week the Decepticons have, yes, they are pretty-

O: Presumably, they're actually pretty good at their job is what I'm gonna go with and I- I don't know I found thought that thought very, very funny. [laughs]

S: Yup, apparently they're doing all of this to try to avoid Autobot detection by staying on the ground.  So you know, they can avoid the Sky Spy detection or satellite detection or something.

O: Which makes sense, but eh… regardless, the Autobots have arrived in South America and that's not Ironhide, that’s really not Ironhide?

S: Well, Ratchet’s voice is coming out of his mouth, so we have to assume it's actually Ratchet and they didn’t just you know, miscolor him.

O: Again.  The Autobots follow the trail of destruction left by the Cons.

S: Why did Prime bring the medic and two short guys?

O: I think this isn't this is an established pattern at this point. [laughs]

S: Oh, honestly, yeah.

O: Meanwhile, back with the Cons, Scavenger is scanning the ground in vehicle mode while Megatron is walking next to him.  It just looks kind of weird, like you know they can turn into vehicle mode but I- I still kind of- like, oh right, Megatron is twice the height of a dump truck, right. [laughs] Like, you kind of forget when you don't have things around it you know, compare it to?

S: Yeah, well, I guess they needed their geologist, and considering the placement of Scavenger’s um, backhoe thing, which apparently his scanner is in in robot mode it makes more sense for him to do it in his alt mode.

O: Fair.  They arrive on the dig site, just as the archaeologists were going to try to get into the ship, which is now more unburied than in previous shots.

S: The humans, um, flee, you know, drive off after they encounter some threatening laser fire with- that you know, misses them of course.

O: Megatron says, “Cut it open!”

S: Can't you just find the door?

O: Specs, Specs, he forgot the password, it has been a several million years, hello? [laughs]

S: Couldn’t you just, you know, get your construction crew to take the door off the hinges or something?

O: [laughs]

S: I mean seriously, there are less destructive ways to get into this thing for whatever you want in it.

O: Oh, Spe-

S: What if you destroy the thing that you're going in there for?

O: Oh, Specs, Soundwave didn't plan this out, so therefore it’s nonsensical as hell. [laughs]

S: [sighs] God.  And oh look, they blasted into the part of the ship that had exactly what the fuck they wanted.

O: HOW CONVENIENT!

S: I'm surprised I didn't accidentally blow themselves up.

O: The show would be over then what would we do? [laughs]

S: Plot armor.

O: [laughs] Megatron survived a planet exploding, I think he would probably be fine.

S: Maybe not anyone else.

O: Yeah, fair.

S: Megatron wants to play doctor on the ship as he extracts this thing called the ‘Heart of Cybertron.’

O: Apparently, he just wanted to be a medic in every continuity, who knew?

S: Like, I think he borrows a laser scalpel from Hook or something.

O: Yeah, like, he- he doesn't even have like, the innate um-

S: Thingy.

O: -equipment to do it, is what's funny.  But he does it, he doesn't blow them up.  Which we establish later this thing is explosive.

S: Yeah, cuz apparently this this thing is an energy maximizer, whatever the fuck that means.

O: Yeah, I know, who knows. [laughs]

S: And then Megatron just hands it to Hook and says, “Put it inside me,” and then lays on the ground, where you know-

O: What the fuck?  What the fuck? [laughs]

S: It’s an impromptu surgery.

O: [continues laughing]

S: And then Hook just kind of shoves it in there, where his spark chamber would be, I guess?  In a later continuity but this is- this is the G1 cartoon, there's no sparks.

O: There's no continuity, but I will remind you we know sparks exist, retroactively by way of Beast Wars.  Sorry!  Heh, this will be the soapbox I die on, apparently? [laughs]

S: Megatron is super buff now, metaphorically speaking.

O: But then Optimus shows up, and orders [an] attack.  [Clears throat] But, uh, wait a minute, so you're telling me that Optimus, Ratchet, Bumblebee, and Brawn are just gonna take on Suped up Megs, Soundwave, Starscream, Ravage, Rumble, and at least some of the Constructicons, if not all six of them and/or possibly Devastator?

S: Optimus has completely confidence.

O: IN WHAT!?!

S: Ratchet being able to out medic the Constructicons, I don't know.

O: I don’t know how that solves Megatron shooting purple force lightning out of his fingertips!

S: Well, I guess Mega- I guess Optimus doesn't know how to deal with it either cuz he takes it straight to the- straight to the chest and he falls off a cliff.

O: [laughs] Of course!  And a quick commercial break and Cliffjumper manifests out of nowhere!

S: Well, see, now that they don't have to animate Optimus moving, they have more of a budget to deal with all these other pesky characters.  So just pretend they were there all along!

O: Well, speaking of pesky characters- Bluestreak and Ironhide are here now too.

S: And there's-

O: Did I mean Smokescreen?

S: Uh, I honestly don't remember.

O: [laughs] Now- that may have- I may have meant Smokescreen, because for some reason I keep getting the two mixed up when I'm taking notes.  So, I do apologize, uh, but two more characters show up is what we're getting at.

S: Yeah, then they're both immediately taken out by Megatron's force lightning because, of course.

O: Of course!

S: And then Brawn.

O: YES!  Pay for your sins Brawn, your sins of being a dick to Perceptor!

S: And then Ratchet is hit, and then Huffer shows up, before getting immediately unlucky and he's like, “I hope I'm lucky!”

O: And then he’s not.  He’s not.  But now, iguana.

B: [laugh]

S: [sighs] And with that uh, lovely lizardly intermission.

B: [laugh]

S: Smokescreen is trying to rouse Prime.

O: Prime is up, but Windcharger is down. [laughs]

S: Okay, so, um, so is the going rate for Optimi six Autobots or are they all going to go away now that Optimus is up?

O: [still laughing] Who knows?  But Optimus apparently knows about the Heart of Cybertron which is the thing that he- that was just shoved into Megs that I have to ask, “How?”

S: Apparently, they just didn't give a damn about finding it before now, or they thought it was maybe in the ocean, though I don't know why they wouldn't have been concerned about that considering…

O: Yeah, cuz they- again, we establish later it is explosive. [laughs]

S: Yes, and also that the Decepticons live in the ocean.

O: Right.  Now it is time for a Smokescreen to show us why his name is Smokescreen.

S: As he does.  Megatron angrily shoots in random directions while yelling, because he can't see through the smoke that Smokescreen....

O: Has smoked out.

S: Yes.

O: Optimus orders everyone to fire on Megatron.

S: And Hoist is here too.

O: They blast the hill, burying all the Cons under a rock slide.  Which no, Soundwave my poor blue son, and Rumble my poor blue garbage baby! [laughs]

S: We also got confirmation Grapple’s here too, as Optimus orders him, Hoist and Ratchet to get the wounded out of there.

O: Back at the Ark, Preceptor meets the wounded Autobots as they arrive at the entrance to the Ark.

S: God, that must have been some commute.

O: Yeah, from South America!  Presumably without Skyfire?

S: I guess?  I mean, maybe Skyfire just turns up, picks them up and drops them off, who the hell knows?

O: He was on vacation, and you know, they- they had to call him in, who knows?

S: Yeah.  And Brawn is continuing his modus operandi for this episode aka, jackassery.

O: Of course!  Wheeljack... was also in the earlier fight as he's now among the wounded, despite us never seeing him.

S: I think I can just assume apparently all the Autobots were there.

O: Right.

S: Getting their asses-

O: Most of them.

S: Getting there butts kicked.  I don’t know.  Uh, the Cons proceed to unbury themselves and then we’re back at the Ark.

O:  Wee! [laughs]

S: Preceptor is uh, also working on a wounded Powerglide.

O: Jesus!  I know we said it, but like, there were so many Bots in South America!  So many!

S: A good chunk of them.

O: Perceptor puts forth the suggestion that a group of Autobots should shrink themselves in enter Megatron to disconnect the Heart of Cybertron.

S: It's not exactly a bad plan, it's just if they had this before now we didn't they think to use it and they're never gonna-

O: Or some other, yeah… who the fuck knows?

S: And it's never gonna come up again.

O: But Optimus seems game!  Brawn is still very unhappy, but Optimus orders Bee and Brawn to accompany Perceptor into Megatron.

S: Preceptor’s so sassy about all this.

O: The sassiest of microscopes.  And I know Perceptor said they were going to be ‘microscopic,’ but I swear they're just toy sized.

S: I think you mean ‘fun sized’.

O: Well, obviously I mean fun sized. [laughs]

S: They’d fit quite nicely on your desk.

O: Wouldn’t they though?  Powerglide is tasked with getting them near enough to Megatron so they can infiltrate the Decepticon camp.  It is time for booze!

S: Or as a fanon and calls it ‘high-grade’.  AKA, robot booze.

O: Pretty much, so all the Decepticons get super drunk.

S: And everybody but Megs is passed out on the ground super stone cold drunk.

O: So what you're saying is, he can hold his booze then?

S: I think everyone else is just a really light drinker.

O: [laughs] Mm, mostly Seekers in all fairness.

S: And he passes out immediately afterwards, so no, I don’t think he can hold his booze better than anyone else.

O: [laughs]

S: I think he’s just got a better force of will.

O: [continues laughing] Powerglide makes the drop, and the tiny Autobots scramble out of their container and into Megatron.

S: Megatron wakes up and sees Powerglide and orders an attack.  But of course all the other Cons are stumbling around and not able to actually move.

O: Including poor Laserbeak, who nose dives into the ground.  Which is sad, but also hilarious.

S: And Megatron just decides that he's gonna deal with all this shit by himself and flies off.

O: [laughs]

S: Gonna be him against all what, two hundred Autobots?

O: Something like that, which maybe with the Heart of Cybertron he’ll be fine? [laughs]

S: Unless he goes boom, but I mean, I don’t think-

O: Boom baby!  Boom baby!

S: I don’t think he’s gonna go boom.

O: A planet went boom and he didn't care, why would he care if be exploded?

S: Well, if it's inside him it's going to be more of an issue than if it's outside him.  I don't think his armor has that sort of structural integrity.

O: I’m just imagining Megatron staying like, perfectly calm through sheer force the of will.

S: [sighs]

O: Or rage, one of those.

S: I don't think he's internal bits are as-

O: Probably not. [laughing]

S: -hardy as his outer bits, okay?

O: Ah, so, while he’s still-  while- he decides to take on all of the Autobots he is still pretty darn drunk, and I just want to know where's my footage of him flying straight into a radio tower or something?

S: [sighs] Meanwhile, inside Megatron, whatever passes for Cybertron white blood cells are trying to rid his body of the um, microorganisms that are being Bee, Brawn, and Perceptor.  Or-

O: Brawn- oops, sorry go ahead.

S: Or BBP.

O: [laughs] Brawn, being good at only one thing, which is you know, beating shit up- actually manages to destroy a few of them

S: He just tears them apart... with some oddly well animated movement.

O: Our motley crew continues on their micro excursion arriving at Megatron's shoulder joint.

S: And the- the naturally occurring gears, pulleys, and levers that the Marvel Comics say they evolved from.

O: Obviously. Cutting to Optimus, we are told Megatron's ten minutes out from the Autobot base.

S: Our tiny robots arrive at Megatron's brain module.

O: Why don't they just shoot it?

S: Apparently they just... I don't know, Preceptor and Bumblebee might have moral objections, but I'm not sure why Brawn just didn't do it.  It's a bad idea to shoot, you know, your pilot or the brain of the robot you're currently hitching a ride in.  You don't want…

O: [sighs] Fair.

S: You're gonna get kind of smooshed.

O: Splatted. [laughs]

S: Anyway, Brawn had the exact same idea.

O: Oh fuck no!

S: I guess he does have some good ideas sometimes but there, um- he's a jackass too.

O: [laughs]

S: Wheeljack tells Optimus, and by Optimus I mean us, that they have a force field up and it will only last five minutes under Megatron's attack so... are they limited by the amount of power that they have access to or just…I don’t know.

O: Um-mm, but we've got a 15 minute buffer, apparently.  I don't know why they keep giving us exact times.  Megatron arrives, and Optimus rallies all available Autobots to buy Perceptor more time.

S: [sighs] Bee and Perceptor pull Brawn back from Megatron's brain.  Perceptor also tells us that the Star of Cybertron is super explosive, so Megatron falling down will be super bad.

O: Right.  Megatron has started thinking, as brain impulses are starting to fly around his brain.

S: It's hilarious that Megatron just does a lot of stuff without thinking apparently.

O: Oh, I'm sorry, they’re evil impulses, that's important.

S: Yeah, I don't know how they pocess- oh god, do not evil impulses not show up like that?

O: [makes a bunch of confused noises and laughs] I dunno know.

S: Well, um, regardless uh, BBP hitch a ride on one of the impulses to the Heart of Cybertron cuz apparently that's how-

O: You get around a Megatron, mm-hmm.

S: Well apparently that’s how the Cybertronian nervous system works.

O: Apparently!  There's some really nice animation in this.  Is that why there were so few robots in some of the earlier scenes, you think? [laughs]

S: I guess they spent all their money on the special effects.

O: Perceptor advises caution when they arrive at the Heart of Cybertron otherwise they might set a bust the bomb.

S: You might set off the bomb, um, yeah, um, let's not do that.

O: Outside, Megatron gets through the Autobots forcefield.

S: As in, it shatters like literal glass.

O: Which seems to be a pattern with force fields in the show at this point.  Perceptor disconnects the last wires, the three of them grab the star, and book it out of Megatron's body.

S: Mass shifting all the way home.

O: Megatron’s face, when three Autobots climb out of his shoulder are- is pretty fucking great by the way. [laughs]

S: Bumblebee turns around and says, “Excuse us!”

O: Of course!  Megatron then calls them ‘retro rats’ and just flies off.

S: Oh no!  The star is to destabilizing, or the heart is destabilizing, or whatever the hell it is.

O: [laughs]

S: Because the heart destabilizing, Brawn heaves [it] into space with- I don't know, a massive swing of his short stubby arm or something.

O: [laughs] And Perceptor shoots it, once it’s two thousand miles away, causing Brawn to now be a convert to Perceptorism, as he calls Perceptor his friend.

S: Perceptor just looks happy about this.

O: Which, I mean, fair. [sighs] Uh, join us next time for, “The Master Builder.”

S: Or the Constructicons seduce Grapple and Hoist, with words.

O: [laughs]

S: Alright, so we have two fic recommendations, one from me and one from Owls.  The first one is, “Domestic Electronics,” by Bibliotecaria_D.  And it's an IDW G1 AU, very AU.

O: Very!

S: But it- it’s not rated.  Generally Gen, there aren’t really any pairings.  The main characters are an original human, and then there’s uh, the rest of the cast is effectively original humans or the IDW ensemble.

O: [chuckles]

S: [sighs] And in summary, “Once upon a job in retail, an average Joe took home a returned domestic electronic from the Transformers brand.  These are a glimpse into a normal life with tiny electro domestics running rampant through the apartment.”  Character or theme or rec is basically, it’s got a bunch of tiny robots.

O: [laughs]

S: The cartoon has a bunch of tiny robots.

O: Yes!

S: Or well, several tiny robots.  Just tiny robots.

O: [laughs]

S: At this point I think, “Domestic Electronics,” is complete and that's the note that we have on here because Bibliotecaria_D doesn't seem to be uh, active anymore.

O: But they have the fic marked as complete.  It seems like they were kind of periodically adding stuff to it even though?  But what's there is still really good, and I do recommend cuz it's very enjoyable to read.

S: Yep.

O: Alright, so my recommendation for today is, “Chronic,” by LittleMissSweetgrass.  The continuity is IDW, the rating is T, it is slash it is uh, the pairing is Cosmos/Soundwave.  Our characters are Cosmos, Soundwave, Rest-Q, Rumble, Frenzy, Laserbeak, and Buzzsaw.

And in summary, “Everyone had secrets.  This was just a fact of life, and ever since the war started secrets became something of a currency something to trade or exchange for more.  Secrets are what helped fuel the war and mechs had dedicated their whole lives just to find these hidden treasures.  Cosmos’ personal secrets weren't anything that would be considered interesting or sought-after since the war was over.  See, Cosmos was a mini bot.”

And then the type is one shot, but it is part of a series.  This is actually the second part of this- of uh, one I recommended earlier called, “Quiet.” It it's all part of the- the same series of Soundwave/Cosmos stuff.

S: I’ve read this one, it’s good, I liked it.

O: Ah, yeah, I like their stuff. [laughs]

S: And then I believe we also have art for you to recommend.

O: Yes, our recommendation for today is for Rikuta.  They seemed like they were primarily doing Prime.  They have a Tumblr, a Pixiv, and the Twitter, at least as of the last time I checked.  They have some really cute Prime artwork, in particular I like their Knockout, uh, Breakdown stuff.  Today we've linked some artwork of Knockout and Breakdown making flower crowns, a Cyclonus/Tailgate comic, and some Megatron/Optimus art which is- uh, I love all of it. [laughs] But uh, yeah, just, Cyclonus and Tailgate being Cyclonus and Tailgate. And uh, cute Knockout/Breakdown stuff, and uh, Optimus and Megatron from Prime.

S: I’ve seen their art, I liked it.

O: Yeah, I did too.

S: And that just about wraps it up for us today.  Remember to check us out on Tumblr and Pillowfort as the Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned.  You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word), and various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast, such as AO3, iTunes, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, and YouTube, just to name a few.  Till next time, I'm Specs.

O: And I’m Owls!

S: Toodles.

[Outro Music]

[skyfallofcybertron-blog]

Transformers: Skyfall. Bonus Chapter: There’s a Light That Never Goes Out

He didn’t witness it. After their mission; Night Glide and Skyfall went their separate ways. He had to report to Thundercracker. Skyfall had to go and upload the files she stole into to the ship’s computer for decryption. It was standard procedure. It should have been simple.

On the commanding deck; the young Seeker’s meeting was interrupted by a panicking Vechicon drone. One stationed in the labs. Night Glide didn’t need a further explanation and, luckily, the member of Megatron’s top commanding trine he was speaking to was the sensible one. Thundercracker excused him to go to the medical bay.

The Convent’s medic, Echo, hung by the ceiling; working away quickly by the time Night Glide got there. Echo was an incredibly small two-wheeler. So, to make her medical skill set useful to patch up bigger sized bots; the engineering team aboard the ship constructed her a harness so she could be suspended over the injured. Working completely obstructed above all those who entered her base of operations.

However, even Echo’s small servos where nothing compared to the patient she was working on. Skyfall layed on her side. Wires attached to the Minicon’s spinal strut criss-crossed all across the medical berth she was nestled in as she struggled for every intake.

‘She just collapsed.’ The Vechicon that reported her explained, ‘She just hooked herself up for the download and collapsed.’

It didn’t take a genius to figure out that the Autobots’ files had implanted a virus into Night Glide’s small Deployer.

He ghosted a servo over Skyfall’s helm only to be surprised by not only the external damage done to it when she fell, but the extreme heat that was coming off her plating. Night Glide pulled his servo back quickly. His talons fidget slightly. Night Glide’s processors was trying to come to grips with the thing on the berth was in fact his partner.

“Report.” He broke the silence in the chamber.

Echo turned from her screen that she was working on to swivel in front of her commanding officer. The femme lacked a voice box. It was damaged in the Exodus. However, her visor screen lit up with the medical report as requested.

Virus: Trojan. Disguised as Autobot base schematics. Activation upon log-in to Decepticon networks.

Function seems to target Decepticon Deployers to eliminate spies within the system.

Virus attacking neural net.

Symptoms: Fever, respiratory impairment, lack of response, fainting and seizure. Continuing observation.

Unrelated symptoms: Helm denting, minor lacerations do to fall. Damage stabilized. Will repair once virus is neutralized.

Working on Antivirus: 15% completion. Awaiting more tests.

Night Glide could feel his denta grind just reading Echo’s report. He hissed at the little medic.

“Speed it up.”

Echo tilted her helm. The diagnostic disappeared. Replacing it was a single, deep red optic. The Seeker glared at the video of Shockwave.

“Speeding up the process is illogical. The Minicon is the first to contract this virus. Further studies must take place to insure the safety of Decepticon spies.”

Night Glide could feel his energon boil up through his tubing. Shockwave made a habit of only referring to Skyfall as ‘Minicon’. Simply because, he didn’t she her as anything else, but a disposable waste product. Of course, Shockwave never had the pleasure of actually spending time with her. Getting to know here. Making her laugh.

The Seeker’s wings twitched.

“And risk having my communications officer die?!” Night Glide spat.

“The Convent is under Thundercracker’s command, is it not?”

“Skyfall is an important member of this crew and I am not going to stand idly by just so you can use her as a lab animal-”

“You’re attachment to the Minicon is irrational. You’re anger is also misguided. If the Autobots are planning to use this virus in a wide scale attack; having data on how it operates and how to nullify it is the best course of action. The Minicon will provide that data. Also, if you are insistent on overstepping your rank; I will pull mine.”

The optic barely moved as it addressed the medic, “Echo, continue your work. Upload all of your findings to my personal storage. I will continue my work from here.”

Shockwave ended the call. Night Glide wanted to fling the closest object across the room.

Echo’s screen flickered once again.

(ง •̀_•́)ง

The Seeker felt the slimmest smile on his face. The Convent was a ship filled with the Decepticons that Megatron didn’t want. Cast-offs of the greater Decepticon good. In a way, they all looked out for each other. Night Glide was happy for the allies he had found himself with.

Deep down, he knew that Echo was going to sped up the process as fast as she could. Without getting caught by Cybertron’s top scientist.

The medic swiveled back towards Skyfall; hooking in a cooling unit to at least stabilize her. Judging by the report Echo just gave, Skyfall had burnt through her own supply of coolant. Night Glide caught himself subconsciously running the base of his thumb along the tips of his digits upon the memory of feeling the radiation off the femme’s body. He frowned softly at this.

“Echo.”

The medic’s screen turned to face him, displaying a question mark.

“Keep me post.”

She nodded.

He paused for a moment and added, “Do not lose her.”

Echo’s screen flashed one more time.

(ง •ૅ౪•᷄)ว

***

He wasn’t a social butterfly by any account. Quite the opposite really. Unlike most of this Seeker kin, Night Glide didn’t find keeping friends much of a use. He lacked a Trine. Something that the rest of the Seekers mocked him for. However, in solitude he found himself at peace. An understanding of himself that the others never did.

Then, suddenly, Skyfall entered his life like a blazing comet.

At first he didn’t understand her. She was fussy; terrified of everything around her. The full grown Minicon clung to his plating like a panicked sparkling more often than not. She cried all the time too. Often she was huddled up in her alt. mode., ready to jet off as soon as somebot even came close to intaking near her direction. Skyfall also, at first, could barely hold the gun she was given; let alone shoot it an a reasonable target.

She was a civilian. Barely.

Night Glide couldn’t fathom why the higher command would steal her to begin with and to be completely honest, he hated her. In the beginning at least. He was civil about it; allowing her to make a fool out of herself and keeping a good arm’s length from her at all times. No need to stoop to her level when he didn’t need to be.

Skyfall was hardly the partner he was promised when they said they had found a Deployer for him. If Night Glide was honest with himself, he expected someone like Ravage. Sleek. Elegant. Knew how to handle itself.

What he had was Skyfall.

He remembered one night, before they got their transfor to the warship, he caught her singing. It was almost unhearable. Too light in voice and too heavily buried under the collective snores of 20 young Seekers. Yet, Night Glide’s audios picked up the sounds of a Vosian lullaby that he had long since buried in his memory. Along with the rest of his childhood.

“I’m sorry…” She murmured.

The little femme had chosen to stare at one tiny bolt on the floor. Skyfall lived under his berth. Probably the safest place for her not to crushed under the excited heels of Seekers. Dim maroon optics barely lit up her face in the darkness of the barracks. The other Seekers there barely notice her little voice that deep into recharge.

“...I’m sorry…”

Night Glide simply watched her from his berth. She dipped out of sight. Hiding once again in the safety of her hold. The Seeker rolled onto his back. His optics found a seam in the wall and he traced a claw through it.

“...Who taught you Vosian?” He asked quietly.

It was a moment before he got a reply, “...I did…”

“You learned it yourself?”

“I know. I’m not- wasn't allowed.” Skyfall was quick to lower herself even more, “I went to school- I was paid to- Calloway…” She paused and somehow her voice was even smaller, “I can stop…”

The dorm filled up once again with snoring; Skyfall seeming deciding for the two of them not to continue.

Night Glide frowned. He didn't like the silence now. The Seeker continued to stare at the ceiling. Vos now seemed so far away.

“Keep singing…” He asked, “You sound like home…”

Skyfall remained silent for a moment. Night Glide could hear her breathe beneath the frame of his berth. The Seeker could practically hear her swallow as she took a deep breath and picked up in the song where she had stopped.

The wilting lullaby raise up through the thick, stuffy air of the dorm. Night Glide continued to look up at the ceiling; trying to picture Vos’ towers through the shadows of his wingmates.

The proud Seeker wasn't ready to accept that he was homesick.

He still wasn't. Eons later. Though, his home wasn’t even crystalline towers anymore. It wasn’t the pale blue skies. Nor was it The Convent. Or even Cybertron, if he was honest with himself. No, home to Night Glide shifted to a small femme clinging to life in the medical bay.

When he returned to check on Echo’s progress, the femme was wrapping Skyfall up in an insulator blanket. Echo had striped Skyfall down to her protoform in what he could only assume was to keep her cool. Skyfall, herself, didn’t have much protoform to began with. Most of it encased her spark chamber. While her limbs were just basic framework and bare wires. A by product of being ‘low quality’.

“How is she?” Night Glide dared to ask.

Echo tilted her helm towards him; gathering the swaddled Skyfall in her arms.

Status: Unconscious, but stable. Last seizure reported: 2 hours ago. Overheating is still an issue, but fever as leveled.

Working on Antivirus: 87% completion. Awaiting final test results and Shockwave’s approval on formula.

Skyfall is very strong.

The Seeker let go of the intake he was holding. With a weak smile; he nodded in agreement.

“Good work, Echo…”

(๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧

The medic carefully transformed Skyfall’s tiny form into his arms. It was only in that moment when Night Glide really realized how fragile Skyfall was. She easily could stand in the palm of his servo, but seeing her all bundled up like this only reminded Night Glide of a freshly ignited sparkling.

Echo tilted her helm once more and added to her text.

Shockwave is expected to call in 21 minutes.

Requesting: Energon break?

“Yes, of course. You’ve done more than enough. I’ll COMM. you if he calls early.”

Shockwave never calls early.

“True.” Night Glide chuckled lightly. A rarity, but he was in much better spirits now that he knew that his partner wasn’t going to be murdered by an Autobot virus. Echo was the best medic he could have ever asked for. “Go have supper.”

✲ﾟ｡.(✿╹◡╹)ﾉ☆.｡₀:*ﾟ✲ﾟ*:₀｡

Echo’s harness lowered her to the floor; transforming and pulling away as her peds swung around. They landed on the floor with a muted ‘thud’. The tires on her heels keeping her steps light. Again, Night Glide was reminded that he was a giant among grounders. Echo’s small motorcycle frame made her out to be about half his height. Not that anyone would ever notice with her strung up most of the time.

The medic gave Night Glide a thumbs up, before disappearing down the darken halls of The Convent. Night Glide felt his wings slowly sag down his back. All that tension and the automatic Seeker provado that was drilled into him since his sparking. He was exhausted. In more ways than one.

He sighed. Sitting on the edge of the medical berth. He cradled Skyfall close. He watched his partner’s small spark chamber rise and fall. Her breathing was much better than before. He was thankful for that. It pained the Seeker. Every Seeker valued the movement of air; be it on their wings or in their lungs.

Night Glide stroked the back of Skyfall’s head as it lulled to one side; nuzzling into his cool chest plates. Night Glide felt his spark swell. She was so tiny. Just a toy to most that had seen her. Yet, she was the most Cybertronian creature he had ever met; kind and compassionate. Even through this war.

And she was his. He was honored to have been paired with her.

Now, he just needed to wait until she was awake for him to tell her that.

[mk-wizard]

Proof that the Decepticon Way is Not Evil

Hello, Transformer fans.

After doing an essay on the glaring flaws in the Autobot way, I wanted to do one that points out the virtues in the Decepticon way. Note that these good points do not make Decepticons like Megatron or Starscream any less evil. A criminal/terrorist is still a criminal/terrorist regardless of how they identify as and nothing Megatron, Starscream, Knockout or anyone else says or does will dismiss their crimes. Also, Starscream is just a stinker in general. He is NOT the standard of how Decepticons are as even other bad ones don’t like him and think he’s a stinker.

This essay is meant to point out the TRUE things the Decepticon way stands for and why many bots believe in it, and how Megatron and other criminals don’t stand for it as much as they claim they do.

They allow free speech. - If there is one thing that we consider as the bedrock of all freedom, it is free speech even if we may not always like what the other person has to say. While most of the time, this practise of the exercise to say whatever you want is taken too far among the Decepticon terrorists to the point where they show no respect, but the fact that they can is telling. While I myself don’t encourage unkind words, I will chalk one up for the Decepticons in how a Decepticon can say what they want even to Megatron’s face and while he will chastise them vocally for it, unless your words have treacherous implications, he will not so much as give you a slap on the hand. In fact, Megatron will actually listen to someone if they have a good idea or will point out the flaws in his idea. A society that allows people to say what they mean even if it is “my leader stinks” is one that has the right idea. After all, how can you become a better society if no one is allowed to say what is bothering them so the problem can be fixed?

They assign leaders based on merit not a title. - Though the lineage of Decepticon leaders is passed on by default from the one Megatron/Megara to the their child, they are more than willing to make exceptions if someone better for the role comes along. Heck, heirs/heiresses have even been known to refuse the role of leadership. I have to admit that a system that recognises that leadership is not a trait that is passed down genetically is progressive. And for that, I give a point to the Decepticons in that. In Autobot society, a leader system is either hierarchical (from one Prime to their child) or the Autobot Matrix “selects” a leader (and might I add, sometimes, people have been known to misinterpret the Matrix’s reaction or lie about it entirely). The Autobot people have no say whatseover.

They respect individuality. - Did you know that an Autobot can live in a Decepticon community without converting? It’s true. In fact, there are many Autobots who live among Decepticons. Another thing that Decepticons allow is the freedom to believe in what you want meaning they permit people to be Atheist and allow varying levels of how devout you are. They believe religion is a personal thing. Another thing that is obvious about Decepticons is how different all of them are and not just visually. Their alt modes are very diverse. You change into anything you want even if it has nothing to do with your job because they accept that your alt mode doesn’t hinder you from doing your job. Look at Knockout who changes into a luxury car while being a Decepticon medic, Soundwave who changes into a palm sized cassette player and is Megatron’s confidante, and Reflector who change into a camera and is a force to be reckoned with. The only exception are the Seekers and from what I have seen, the Seekers are a special case of which they have the same mold because it is uniform in their case which they consider as an honour to wear. And even then, you can choose your own colours. Another thing that I notice and actually is rather heartwarming is that among Decepticons, they are even more diverse in terms of culture. They have bots of varying origins which you can tell by their accents. Among Autobots, you either sound American (even when oriental). From what I recall, only Perceptor had a European accent (British specifically). When they said “till all are one”, I they didn’t mean all had to be the same.

They are more feminist. - As much as I don’t want to be “that girl”, I have to give hats off to the Decepticons in how they treat women and this shows most of all in how they DRESS the women. Even when a female Decepticon is very feminine that dresses femininely, she will be covered and be dressed for the part rather than show a lot of plating (skin) or be overly pretty. Just compare designs using this list. As much as I myself don’t see anything wrong with female characters dressing beautifully, sexy or being naturally beautiful and sexy, or even them dressing sexy on their own time (I do sometimes), but there is a definite night and day difference between how female Autobots behave and how female Decepticons do. The Decepticon females are more professional and don’t do cute. Note that Blackarachnia was originally a Predacon not a Decepticon and she is also the exception not the standard. And even then, Blackarachnia was honestly good at her job, she was a genius scientist in her own right and she could take care of herself. Even Prime Arcee doesn’t display this level independence or emotional maturity. Another thing that is telling about how they see women and what they value in them is the kind of woman Megatron fell in love with. In G1, Megatron was attracted to a robot ninja Nightbird who wasn’t even a Transformer and wasn’t dressed sexy or anything. She never even flirted with him. He was charmed by her skills as a warrior and how she got the job done. This speaks volumes.

Megatron gives Decepticons a choice on whether to follow him or not. - And no, I am not talking about how he deals with traitors like Starscream. Since the days of G1, there have been Decepticons who did not work under Megatron and Megatron did not criminalise these Decepticons for it. He gives Decepticons a choice on whether or not to serve him directly, and if they say “no”, he moves on. The only time he will ever criminalise a Decepticon is if they directly act against him which is really the only valid reason to criminalise them. Megatron has even been known to respect Decepticons who were independent enough to do without him.

They do not outcast or ostracise the misfits or handicapped. - If there is one noble thing the Decepticons do that I will always take my hat off to them, it is that they do not deem a bot useless or will lock them up for being different or imperfect and they recognise that having a handicap doesn’t make you disabled at everything. Heck, they even employ unchangers (Transformers who cannot transform)! And I can’t help but notice that almost every beast type with the exception of the Dinobots is a Decepticon. I mean, just look at RID. All of the inmates were beast types. They aren’t concerned with what you can’t do or whether you’re pretty to look at. They are just concerned with what you can do. I also want to point out that their own leader Megatron may very well be a mutant, beast type or both. And in the defence of the beast types, mutants and the handicapped, where did the Autobots expect them to go if they got deemed as freaks or were chased out of town everywhere else? As we saw in Animated, Blitzwing who suffers from split personality disorder was still a high ranking respected officer who served Megatron directly and proved to still be a force to be reckoned with as he has a multi-elemental arsenal, he is an amazing fighter, he is a responsible leader when needed and he is a genius. Then we have the Insecticons from Prime who are fiercely loyal to Megatron and not for nothing. Megatron stands up for them even when other Decepticons badmouth them.

The Decepticon way is based on freedom. - The whole reason the Decepticons came to be and all of the points I listed all come back to freedom in all its forms. And after seeing that the Autobot way is not very free at all, is it any wonder that the Decepticons came to be? Now, I am not condoning any criminal activity or terrorism, but I cannot blame rebellion and the demand for change. If you even look closely at the Decepticon insignia, it looks like there is a flying vehicle on it and it was confirmed that this was intentional. Another thing that was intentional since G1 is that all Decepticons can fly in robot mode at least like Superman (though some series forget this fact). The ability to fly is in fact a metaphor for freedom and the original Megatron who founded the Decepticons (not the one we know now) wanted every Decepticon to be able to fly because he wanted every Decepticon to always remember what their faction stands for. Like I said, nothing the bad Decepticons say justifies their criminal activity or terrorism, but it’s clear that the Decepticon way itself isn’t evil.

This is why I think it is also high time we saw more good Decepticons who refuse to convert.