#he’s dead and I sometimes have gay sex in his old house :) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

daddy-dins-girl · 1 year ago

Text

Safe for Tonight (Chapter 1)

Part 2 of the Series "Joel & Tess: Firsts" (can be read as a stand-alone without part 1, all you need to know for part 1 is that it was the first time Joel and Tess hooked up. This work takes place a few months later). If you'd like to read part 1 of the series, link is below :)

Masterlist

AO3 link A03 series link

Series Part 1: "When You Break"

Chapter 2

Joel Miller x Tess

Fandom: The Last of Us (HBO) Word Count: 3.7k Rating: E (for chapter 2 only)

Summary: In which Frank convinces Tess for her and Joel to spend the night during their first visit to Lincoln. Tess attempts to capitalize on the fact that she and Joel are safe for once, no immediate threats lingering around every corner and just maybe she can persuade him to relax. When the evening nears its end and they find themselves alone in Bill's spare bedroom, Tess begins to wonder just what else she might persuade Joel into.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI. Alcohol consumption. Swearing. Mentioned sex. Chapter 2 will have further warnings. Chap 1 is pretty mild.

Notes: Take place pre-series. Sometime after Tommy left them to join the Fireflies but before Tess has moved in with Joel. Also, it's my headcanon that the QZ gives out birth control to, you guessed it, control the population. So my Tess in this universe will not be having any pregnancy scares ;).

...

The moment they passed the threshold of the front door and stepped inside Frank immediately smacked Tess’s arm playfully, yet sharp enough to sting.

“Ow! What was that for?” Tess asked with a huff, rubbing a hand up and down her upper arm.

“You didn’t tell me Joel was drop dead gorgeous!” Frank said excitedly, his grin from ear to ear. “You’ve been holdin’ out on me!”

Tess side eyed him for a long moment before she burst into a fit of laughter and Frank quickly followed suit, the two of them reaching to hold onto each other as they nearly fell over from laughter. The wine that had been freely flowing over dinner likely had something to do with how silly the whole situation seemed to her. Tess felt like a teenage girl in high school all of a sudden, gossiping over the cute boy in their class and she hadn’t remembered when she’d laughed so hard that her stomach hurt.

“A little warning next time before you bring an Adonis over to a couple of old gay dudes house, we’re liable to have a heart attack and keel over you know” Frank admonished playfully once they’d caught their breaths.

“Shut up” Tess replied giggling, lightly shoving at his shoulder.

“Ok but seriously…” Frank began before raising an eyebrow at her suggestively. “Nice pull Tess”

“Well, thanks but he ain’t exactly mine” Tess shrugged and Frank’s face fell slightly.

“Oh, I mean, I don’t know the way you always talked about the two of you I guess I just kinda thought…” He trailed off, not finishing his thought.

“We’re partners, you know, but Joel is… well, Joel’s… Joel.”

“Right, well, glad we cleared that up. ‘Cause I’d hate for you to be ambiguous” Frank deadpanned and Tess rolled her eyes.

“You seriously never hit that?” Frank questioned again, pointing in the general direction behind them where Joel and Bill were still outside finishing eating their dinner. “Two gorgeous single people spending everyday together, and you’re not fucking? I knew I never understood straight people” he finished his thought with a shake of his head.

Tess’s eyes glanced away and her non-response was all Frank needed before he let out a loud gasp.

“I knew it!” He shouted triumphantly and it was Tess’s turn to smack Frank.

“Hey, keep it down” Tess said in a hushed whisper, looking over to the closed door. She was pretty certain neither of the two men outside could hear them, but she wasn’t about to chance it either.

“Ok, ok. I wanna hear the whole story” Frank said with an exaggerated roll of his eyes. He grabbed Tess by the hand and all but dragged her into the living room and yanked her down to sit next to him on the couch. “Come on, spill!”

“Really Frank, ain’t much to tell” Tess said, the disappointment evident in her tone. “Couple months ago we literally almost died, got back to his apartment and fucked our brains out. Once. And… that’s it, end of story. Business as usual ever since”

Frank just stared at her as if she had two heads.

“Why?” he finally asked, his tone less playful now and more confused.

“Because, I don’t know, Joel is…” Tess shook her head, the thought unfinished.

“Joel is Joel. Right, we covered that already” Frank said teasingly and a small smirk pulled at the corner of Tess’s mouth but she nudged him in the side all the same.

“He doesn’t… feel that way about me” Tess shrugged.

“Feel what way?” Frank asked, genuinely interested, his head tilted slightly waiting for her reply.

“I don’t know just… Joel is never gonna be like a boyfriend, or whatever”

“But you want him to be” Frank quickly interjected and Tess’s gaze snapped to his, surprised how quickly Frank seemed to have figured her out.

“I’m not twelve Frank, I don’t need a boyfriend” Tess argued, feigning nonchalance.

“A partner then” Frank said simply in reply. “And I don’t mean a business partner”

“Yeah well, Joel’s not ever gonna be that either. The first one, I mean” Tess said, her gaze falling to the space between them on the couch where her hand started fidgeting with a loose thread in the fabric.

“He’s said that to you?” Frank asked, eyebrows raised in curiosity.

“Didn’t have to” Tess just shrugged. ”It’s complicated. He’s complicated” she amended.

“Ok so you have mind blowing sex and then the next day it’s just what ‘hey let’s divvy up the ration cards from last week's score’?” Frank asked, still trying to wrap his head around the situation. Tess couldn’t blame him, she hadn’t exactly figured it out either.

“Look Frank I don’t know what to tell you, we were just… blowin’ off steam” Tess said with a shrug, hoping he’d buy it and leave it at that.

“Tess I know we haven’t known each other that long, but I feel like we’ve become friends and I just… I don’t want to see you get hurt”

“Joel would never hurt me,” Tess said immediately. Vehemently.

“Well, maybe not intentionally,” Frank replied softly, placing a hand on her arm.

"Look it's not like I'm trying to get married and run off into the sunset" Tess said, shaking her head as she looked away. "But you know, a warm body next to you at night, somebody to wake up to, it ain't exactly the worst thing"

"Yeah" Frank agreed softly. He wasn't sure what else to say. He hadn't known Tess all that long, they'd been communicating over the radio for a while but this was their first time meeting in person. He did genuinely care for her though and he wanted her to be happy. He didn't love how happiness for her might mean not being completely fulfilled because she wanted things Joel couldn't give her but she'd settle for what he could. Though he supposed they all did that in some way. He and Bill had compromised themselves in a lot of ways and had both settled for things that in another life (before) they may not have. He was happy though. What Bill was able and willing to give him made Frank happy, so he supposed maybe that's what happiness would look like for Tess too.

A long silence settled over them until finally Frank spoke again.

“Look maybe… He does want something and he just doesn’t know how to say it or ask for it. Have you tried? Since, you know…”

“No” Tess shook her head.

“Stay here tonight” Frank said suddenly, like a lightbulb had just gone off inside his head and Tess stared at him quizzically.

“What?”

“I mean, it’s already getting kinda late, you guys have been drinking, don’t worry I’ll make a good case to convince both Bill and Joel it’s the best idea. And you guys can spend the night here where it’s safe and quiet and you can just talk and… well, you know, anything else you might want to do” Frank finished suggestively and Tess’s eyes widened at his suggestion.

“In your house, are you crazy?” Tess huffed, shaking her head.

“Oh come on, we’re all adults. Not to mention our bedroom is on the ground floor at the back of the house, you two would be in the guest room at the top floor at the front of the house so we’re not gonna hear anything anyway”

“Frank” Tess sighed, exasperated.

“Just… you know, try it. Make a pass, see what happens. Whether you want him to be your boyfriend or just help you forget about your problems for one more night, either way you’ll never get either until you put yourself out there it sounds like”

“Come on,” Frank began again suddenly, standing up from the couch and clapping his hands together once. “Let’s go tell the boys you two are staying here tonight. Bill is going to shit a brick, it’ll be hilarious, you’ll want a front row seat”

Tess rolled her eyes but couldn’t help but be amused by Frank. Agreeing, she stood up and followed him out of the house.

…

It was indeed hilarious to watch their reactions, particularly Bill’s. If he was a cartoon character, there would have been steam billowing out both his ears for certain. Joel had been much more subdued, though just as steadfastly against the idea as Bill. He quietly tugged Tess aside by the elbow and in a harsh whisper told her all the reasons why it wasn’t a good idea but she’d eventually managed to convince him otherwise.

Bill and Joel had exchanged looks, silently agreeing they both disagreed with the scenario but their respective partners had apparently decided for them and left no room for argument and so barely an hour later Joel and Tess found themselves being shown to the upstairs guest room by an overly gracious Frank and a quietly furious Bill.

“And towels and robes in the bathroom and extra blankets in the hall closet, if you need ‘em” Frank said with an easy smile as he finished giving them the tour of the guest bedroom and ensuite.

“Bill and I are on the main floor and I’d say holler if you need us but… we’d never hear it” Frank said with a dismissive wave of his hand and knowing glance at Tess to which she just rolled her eyes at, facing away from Joel so that he was otherwise oblivious to Frank’s innuendo. “So if you do need something, just come down to our room and let us know” he finished, only for Bill to immediately pipe up.

“Or you could wait until morning and not wake anybody up in the middle of the night” he said grouchily.

“We’ll be fine,” Joel said with finality, still less than impressed that Tess had somehow roped him into this. It was probably the third bottle of wine that softened him enough to eventually agree with her.

“Right well… goodnight then” Frank said with a beaming smile before lightly shoving Bill out of the room.

“Good night, thanks again!” Tess called out after them as the door closed, sealing her and Joel inside alone.

She turned to face Joel, his back stiff, shoulders squared and she playfully rolled her eyes at him.

“You need to relax Texas” she said sweetly, walking up to him to place a hand on each of his shoulders and jostled him slightly in an attempt to loosen his stance.

“Tell you what,” she began again a moment later, looking over to the bathroom that had its door wide open. “I haven’t had a hot bath in at least a decade and I’m bettin’ it’s about the same for you… Why don’t you, y’know… join me for one” She suggested simply, shrugging one shoulder.

“A bath?” Joel questioned, one eyebrow cocked as if she’d just said the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard.

“Joel, we’re safe here. For once in our goddamn lives there is no immediate threat to our safety. Can’t you just… let yourself go, for one night?”

Joel sighed, hung his head and placed his hands on his hips.

“Why don’t you go on,” Joel gestured his head towards the bathroom. “I cleaned up before dinner anyway and I’d rather shower in the morning ‘fore we head out for the day”

Tess deflated slightly, a frown crossing her features. “You sure?” she tried one last time.

“Yeah. Hell, if I try and crawl into a tub these old bones are liable never to make it back out again” he attempted jokingly but Tess only felt disappointment, though trying her best not to let it show.

“Okay” she sighed, turning away and going into the bathroom, pulling the door shut behind her.

Joel watched her disappear from view behind the white wooden door and hung his head, seemingly frozen to his spot on the floor. He felt a bit like a jackass. She was trying to be nice to him. Sweet, even, and he refused to let his guard down, ever stubborn as always.

Hell he’d just turned down a chance to get naked with Tess because he can’t turn off his survival instincts for even one night, apparently. Not that she had really implied anything with her offer to allow him to join her but surely she wasn’t opposed to the idea either otherwise she wouldn’t have asked… Right?

Joel’s thoughts tumbled around his brain that was already really only working at about half capacity given the amount of alcohol flowing through his bloodstream. He was already beating himself up over getting into this state in the first place. Not that he was drunk, mind you, but buzzed certainly. Once Bill had put the gun away that had been subtly trained on Joel for most of the afternoon Joel did finally feel himself starting to ease and the wine continued to flow as their evening progressed. He listened to Tess and Frank laugh and laugh as they chatted like they were the oldest of friends and a smile tugged at his lips. He wasn’t sure how long it had been since he’d heard Tess laugh like that. He’s not even sure he ever had.

He and Bill mostly talked shop. They talked of guns and traps and the resources Bill had seemed to maintain despite the state of the world. It was impressive, Joel had to admit. And for that, Bill had his respect and by the end of the night, he felt that maybe he (albeit begrudgingly) had Bill’s as well.

His mind wandered to Tess again, as he glanced over to the still closed bathroom door. The water had long since been turned off and she was still soaking in the tub, he could tell by the occasional slosh of water he could hear when she moved. He bit his lip, cursing his own stubbornness to not accept her offer. She was right, they were safe here, for the night at least. She was happy and free and he had to try and stomp all over her good mood. Just because he was miserable all the time didn’t mean he needed to drag her down with him but he had done exactly that and he immediately felt guilty for it.

He wandered around the room for a couple minutes, getting himself ready for bed and ultimately deciding on a way to make it up to her. Hoping against hope that she would still want him to.

…

Once her fingers had started to prune and the water had gone from near scalding to a tepid lukewarm, Tess reluctantly pulled herself out of the bathtub. It had been so nice to close her eyes, soak in the hot water and just pretend nothing outside of her small serene environment inside the bathroom existed. It had taken her some time at first to get her mind to drift from Joel, but she had managed.

Frank certainly couldn’t tell her now that she hadn’t tried. She let herself be vulnerable and had asked him to join her and he had shot her down without a second of hesitation. She shouldn’t have been all that surprised but regardless it had hurt, being rejected by him. She’d been so careful over the past several months since their first (and only) indiscretion to not act differently around him, not wanting to scare him away. Joel was the only person she could count on and until she met Frank, her only friend. She wouldn’t risk losing him over the feelings she had for him that he didn’t reciprocate. It wasn’t worth it.

She knew, in the way he treated her, cared for her, protected her, that he did love her as much as he was capable of, it just wasn’t the same way she loved him. But she could be OK with that, she had decided long ago. Still, she had a physical desire for him that she’d hoped he shared, even if their relationship otherwise was likely to remain unchanged. Tonight however had solidified to her that the fleeting night of passion they’d had all those months ago was apparently a one time thing and she would have to just get over it. It was at that moment she wished she could be more like Joel; just closed off to everyone and everything. Don’t get attached and you can’t get hurt.

For Tess, it was too late.

As she finished drying off Tess immediately cursed herself when she realized she didn’t bring any clean clothes into the bathroom with her. All she had was the clothes she had been wearing all day, had been traveling in, and after spending the last half hour getting clean there was just no way in hell she was putting any of that on again. She was thankful at least for the fluffy white robe that hung on the back of the door and put it on, tying the sash around her waist before tossing her damp towel into a small hamper that sat against the wall opposite the sink.

Heaving a heavy sigh and inwardly hoping that Joel would already be fast asleep so she didn’t have to be running around their shared room in only a bathrobe trying to find something to wear, she pushed open the door to reveal Joel across the room from her, sitting upright in the bed and staring right at her.

Well, shit.

“Oh, hey, thought you would’ve been asleep already” she tried for indifference, hoping he didn’t sense her nervousness. There was a small lamp on the bedside table beside him that illuminated him in a warm light in the otherwise darkened bedroom but it certainly wasn’t dark enough that he couldn’t see her in her bathrobe. She willed herself to relax as she instantly felt herself tense up again.

“Was waiting up for you” he answered simply and she gave him a questioning glance but otherwise said nothing.

“C’mere” he said after a few long seconds stretched between them, gesturing with a nod of his head for her to come over to him.

Tess bit her lip and regarded him carefully from where she still stood just barely outside the bathroom.

“What are you upto Texas?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at him as she slowly made her way toward his side of the bed he was laying in. He was lying on top of the bedspread, back up against the headboard with a pillow behind him and was wearing black sweatpants with no shirt and damn he looked good.

Snap out of it Tess! she chided herself.

She came to stand next to him at the side of the bed, still unsure what exactly he had summoned her over to him for when he moved his leg closest to her up so it was bent at his knee and gestured with his hand for her to sit down. She eyed him curiously for a long moment before she finally sat in the spot where his leg had been, still unsure just what in the hell was going on.

The moment she sat down she felt his arm go around her waist and tug her towards him, forcing her legs up onto the bed and she let out a gasp of surprise until her back hit the hard wall of his chest. Her legs were now laying on the bed between his and he lowered his raised one back down.

“Joel, what-” She didn’t finish her sentence before she felt strong hands on her shoulders, over top of the plush material of her bathrobe and as they started massaging, an involuntary moan escaped her mouth despite herself.

“Just helping you relax” he said easily and she huffed a laugh in return.

“I said you had to relax! Not me. I just got out of the bath”

“Then why do you feel so tense?” He asked and she winced. She had felt great, up until 2 minutes ago when she walked into the room and found him half naked not asleep and herself fully naked under her robe, internally screaming for an escape. She felt so embarrassed about, in her mind, practically throwing herself at him earlier and him rebuffing, she just wanted to crawl under the covers and forget the night ever happened.

Damn Frank for putting ideas in her head.

“I’m sorry” he said eventually in a low voice, his breath ghosting over the back of her neck as he continued to work his hands into her.

“Sorry for what?”

“For being… well, me” He said simply and she could feel him shrug behind her.

“I know I can be a miserable old bastard” He decided to continue. “You were doing something nice, for us, and I just can’t help but be a damn stick in the mud and ruin your night”

Tess sighed, hating that he felt guilty. “You didn’t ruin anything” she tried, smacking lightly at his leg next to hers.

“I did” he said firmly. “So, let me make it up to you. Please?” His hands stopped their movements then but remained on her shoulders, apparently awaiting her go-ahead.

Well, how could she refuse?

“Get to work then, you miserable old bastard” she said teasingly, throwing his own words back at him and he chuckled from behind her before his strong hands began kneading into the deep tissue of her shoulders again. Tess rolled her neck slightly and hummed her approval. She didn’t know what had come over Joel, but she wasn’t about to question it either as his hands worked their magic over her. Her only regret now was the thick amount of terry cloth that separated his hands from her bare flesh that suddenly felt warm at the idea of his hands potentially slipping underneath the material to touch her as she longed for him to.

Luckily for Tess, she didn’t have to wait long for Joel to do just that.

Next Chapter

#pedro pascal #joel miller #the last of us #joel x tess #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction

9 notes · View notes

riverdamien · 1 year ago

Text

Walking With A Limp! #Tovia Project

Walking With A Limp!

Genesis 32:23-31

23. That same night he got up and, taking his two wives, his two slave-girls and his eleven children, crossed the ford of the Jabbok.

24. After he had taken them across the stream, he sent all his possessions over too.

25. And Jacob was left alone. Then someone wrestled with him until daybreak

26. who, seeing that he could not master him, struck him on the hip socket, and Jacob's hip was dislocated as he wrestled with him.

27. He said, 'Let me go, for day is breaking.' Jacob replied, 'I will not let you go unless you bless me.'

28. The other said, 'What is your name?' 'Jacob,' he replied.

29. He said, 'No longer are you to be called Jacob, but Israel since you have shown your strength against God and men and have prevailed.'

30. Then Jacob asked, 'Please tell me your name.' He replied, 'Why do you ask my name?' With that, he blessed him there.

31. Jacob named the place Peniel, 'Because I have seen God face to face,' he said, 'and have survived.'

32. The sun rose as he passed Peniel, limping from his hip.

------------------------------------------------------

Romans 4:16-18

That is why the promise is to faith, so that it comes as a free gift and is secure for all the descendants, not only those who rely on the Law but all those others who rely on the faith of Abraham, the ancestor of us all

17. (as scripture says: I have made you the father of many nations). Abraham is our father in the eyes of God, in whom he put his faith, and who brings the dead to life and calls into existence what does not yet exist.

18. Though there seemed no hope, he hoped and believed that he was to become father of many nations in fulfillment of the promise: Just so will your descendants be.

I just completed reading a novel, Funny Boy, about a young queer boy growing up in Sri Lanka, not able to "come out" as gay in society. His internal struggle was debilitating, and the continued homophobic environment around him was suffocating.

Jay's/Barb's story in our photo is a young man/woman growing up in a rural community in California in such an environment, and ran away to the "big, free" City of San Francisco where became a sex worker.

He found support through the Trevor Project's twenty--four hour hot line,where they guided him to resources in San Francisco, and finally he moved into a Trevor Project house in Los Angles.

Jay's/Barb's life has been extremely tough. Rejected by all of his family, and their society, the transphobia even in San Francisco. He was born in the wrong gender, yet he suffered immensely internally as well as outwardly.

In our Old Testament reading we see the story of Jacob, and his wrestling with God, being renamed Israel, walking with a limp. What we never think of is Jacob's sinfulness, switching the food so his father would name him first in the family, basically stealing his father in law's sheep, and much more; yet God blessed him, and in faith Jacob became Israel.

The truth is that Paul has it right, the grace of God comes as a free gift.

The strange thing about grace--it leads us to find our own humanity in the humanity of others, and to embrace the words of Frederico Garcia Lorca:

"I will always be on the side of those who have nothing and who are not even allowed to enjoy the nothing they have in peace."

Being LGBTQ is not a choice! So in the days a head remember your brother or sister who is LGBTQ and make a donation to the Trevor Project. We have walked 33 miles as of today!

Each mile I remember the countless young men and women through the years I have journeyed

with in their pain; I remember my own journey of faith and coming out and thank God for being with me on this journey! Coming out is hard, painful, and sometimes deadly!

Remember the Trevor Project and their accompanying our LGBTQ youth! Deo Gratias! Thanks be to God!

--------------------------

The Trevor Project

PO Box 69232

West Hollywood, CA 90069 US

212-695-8650

--------------------------------

I have walked as of today, 30 miles, and a number of people have donated to The Trevor Project, walking along with me at least in spirit, to the total thus far of $1800.00, so join me in our walk, and thank you from the bottom of my heart!

===========================

Fr. River Damien Sims, sfw, D.Min., D.S.T.

P.O. Box 642656

San Francisco, CA 94164

www.temenos.org

415-305-2124

=================================

Let Love Ache

Father, give me the courage to keep on loving.

when others keep on hurting.

help me to live an achy love, a gritty,

persistent and emptying love;

a love that’s not afraid to flow toward the other

who has little left to offer in return.

And may I tread faithfully with heaven

through the unfinished work that surrounds me.

Commoners_Communion

Strahan Coleman

The Blessing The world is too dangerous and too beautiful for anything but love. May your eyes be so blessed you see God in everyone, your ears, so you hear the cry of the poor. May your hands be so blessed, that everything you touch is a sacrament. Your lips, so you speak nothing but the truth with love. May your feet be so blessed you run to those who need you. And may your heart be so opened, so set on fire, that your love, your love, changes everything. --A Blessing, Black Rock Prayer Book

0 notes

skeleton-squid-b0y · 2 years ago

Text

this is just everything I sent to my friend whilst we finished house I'm just copying it all here so I can delete it out of my notes it's incomprehensible :)

how many times have I told you I want to be alone and you've made yourself a pain in the

ass...I owe you

"we don't have to have sex sometimes it's just nice to cuddle and talk" HOUSE SHUT THE FUCK UP

all his little trinkets from dead people

martinis and chemo this'll be fun

house is trying to scare him because he cares

"IF YOUR GONNA SAY YOUVE ALWAYS SECRETLY BEEN GAY FOR ME EVERYONE KINDA ASSUMED IT"

YOU HAVE WHAT WE NEED RIGHT HERE WE BOTH DO SHUT THE FUCK UP

why is there a child here ohHH NOO FUCK YOU JOHN

house is giving him his own vicodin........

"you'd still have cancer" "Yeah but at least I'd feel like I deserve it" HEY

Wilson is crying becayse he doesn't want to go to the hospital

house is holding his head and promising and I am going to kill them both

I liked them limping to the bathroom together

WILSON IS PROPERLY LAUGHING

he's threatening to drug him <3

CHASE IS GONNA QUIT??

wilsons being nice to the old lady :,)

bus scene :(

house saying he could live without Kyle is house saying he loves wilson cos he's a fucking idiot and I hate him

house saying by to chase is so interesting and normal

watching holding on

IMMEDIATELY SAD WILSON THIS WAS A TWRRIBLE IDEA

aw he's drugging him like the good old days

HE GOT A ROOM FULL IF THE PEOPLE HE SAVED WHAY THE FUCK U HAYE THIS SO MUCH

oh it's fake

it's the thought that counts

"friends....or friend" UGH SHUT UP

thirteen saying house firing her was the most selfless thing anyones ever done for her I want to hug her

house apologising:((((

just dinner? sounds nice...

hws laughing........house got him oreos.....

I need you OK I want you to be around as long as possible because I don't know what I'm gonna do without you

no no don't do that I don't owe you anything our entire relationship has been about you my dying is about me

I need a friend I need to know that your there I need you to tell me that my life was worthwhile and I need you to tell me that you love me

no. I'm not gonna tell you that unless you fight.

life is pain I wake up every morning im in pain I go to work in pain you know how many times I've wanted to just give up? how many times ive thought about ending it?

I cannot be responsible for the happiness of Gregory House. you are responsible. youve had 3 wives hundreds of colleagues thousands of patients...but you've kept that one best friend

why. because you need me. and I don't think thats a bad thing anymore

no. your the only one I listen to an the last couple of days I didn't and I almost killed my patient so I think its time for me to accept that your just smarter than I am.

are you really OK thay there's only 5 months left?

no. but jts better than nothing.

I'm not gonna say I love you. thank god. got any oreos?

how long?

I'm sorry.

HOW LONG

six months.

last time he went to prison he thought he had you waiting for him

that's what you think the sum of what you are is a doctor, a friend to wilson?

and then house spends the rest of the episode deciding if his need to be a doctor outweighs his love for wilson or his desire to die. and he gives up his chance to die and his chance of ever being a doctor again

You can die for something you dont believe in? what about love. I lived with you for years I know you believe in love.

there's only one person you can count on. I thought there were two. I need to do this. for you.

hes always been your good side.

you're right. but I can change.

Wilson was going to run into that building for him.

somewhere in there he knew how to love.

shut up you idiot.

you'll never be a doctor again. I'm dead wilson how do u wanna spend your last 5 months.

#squids bullshit #🩹

1 note · View note

lassieposting · 2 years ago

Note

Do you think any of the Dead Men have kids? If so how many? Did they help raise them?

Oh god I thought I'd answered this already RIP

Okay so in lassiecanon:

Corrival: None, but Skug's mother was Corrival's childhood friend, so he's known Carver, Skug and Francis since they were tiny.

Skug: Skugbab is his miracle baby. Wifey gets pregnant a fair few times throughout their ~80 year marriage, because they're Very Into Each Other, but his magical ambidexterity gene fucks with a) fertility and b) viability, so none of the pregnancies carry to term. It's a shame - they both wanted a big family. There's also Solace, but in my hc, he doesn't know she exists.

Ghastly: None.

Hopeless: None. He likes to ~yearn after Ghastly but he's not interested in sex.

Erskine: Has a spiderwife and spiderling his friends know nothing about. Spiderwife is the woman who nursed him back to health after the Torment saved him from Mevolent's torture room. He moved them into the new Roarhaven while it was still under construction, to be closer to them, and improving their lot was a big part of his motivation for his plots. His daughter is about six or seven when he's killed, and neither of them really know what happened to him. He just...didn't come home.

Saracen: Has been slutting around since the 1400s, so it's almost certain he has a few bastards somewhere in the world. He took the standard wealthy medieval nobleman approach to parenting the ones he does know about - he quietly pays the mother a tidy sum of ye olde child maintenance, but he's not involved otherwise. He sometimes wishes he'd made different choices, because his kids have been grown for like, 200-300 years...but only sometimes. Generally he'd rather be a daddy than a dad.

Anton: None. He's gay. He is absolutely fine with this - kids freak him out. Why are their heads so small???

Dexter: None, but if one did materialise, he'd want to be involved. Dex grew up in a huge family with lots of little sibs - he loves kids, and he's actually pretty good at walking the fun/responsible line when dependents are involved.

Larrikin: None. Also gay. He's not that bothered. He likes kids, but only to be the fun, bad influence uncle to. He has zero interest in being sensible and stern and Parenty.

(Bonus:

Mevolent: Contrary to popular belief, he would have stepped up to raise his son if he'd known about him. Not because he wants to be a father - Mev has no parental instincts whatsoever - but because It's The Expected Thing To Do. A king needs a Son And Heir, ergo, this child needs food and shelter for eighteen years. The claims that he'd have killed and/or eaten Caisson are based on some very unsavoury rumours about warlocks, and are basically just anti-halfbreed racism. He wouldn't have been a good father, from an emotional/affectionate point of view, but the boy would have been fed and clothed and housed and educated. Which was...not uncommon parenting, for an early medieval father.

Vile: None. Aggressively against the idea of having loved ones again. Would end up incessantly butting his nose into Mevolent raising Caisson anyway, because he still has Dad Instincts that won't go away, and damn it it's screaming because it's tired give it here.

)

#skulduggery pleasant

24 notes · View notes

gaysimpsstuff · 4 years ago

Text

Sleepless Nights

Apologies for not posting for a while, have some sleep headcanons with some lovely men! I am very gay after all!

Headcanons for some BNHA boys about naps and late nights

Genre: angst and fluff

Type: headcanons/ scenarios

Warnings: Nightmares, PTSD, mentions of sex, past traumas, endeavor,

Other: I have too many drafts and old requests but I’m doing this shit anyways

Characters: Hawks, Bakugou, Shigaraki, Todoroki

Taglist: @smolchildfangirl @combat-wombatus @mandalorian-baby-bird @waffleareniceandfluffy @catcherisvibin @thesubtlewhore @popcatx0 @daltontheenby @dai-tsukki-desu

Keigo Takami/ Hawks-

I feel like he's a light sleeper like he's trained to be a light sleeper, waking up from the smallest sound, ready to fight villains even in the dead of night when he needs his rest.

So when you're sleeping together, arms and legs tangled, breaths mingling, you'll be woken up by him suddenly sitting up, grabbing you and pulling you close, eyes narrowed.

It turns out it was just the neighbor turning on the TV, and not a villain lurking in the shadows to take you away from him.

Poor boy has nightmares constantly, waking up in the middle of the night from memories of old fights, failures, and his training with the commission, shaking and gripping the blankets

I also think that he falls asleep very easily. He works longer than he should be, and harder too. He's really too young to be overworking like this.

He comes home late at night, inhales his dinner like a Kirby, and the second he's in bed with you in his arms, or him in your arms, he's out.

You've found him passed out in other areas of the house, once you found him asleep, standing up, arm still stirring the pasta sauce.

You sat up in bed, hearing the door creak open. You froze, scared, watching the shadowy figure step slowly into the room.

"Hey, kid." you relaxed immediately at the sound of his voice, flopping back in the bed and glancing at the clock.

"Keigo, darling, it's 4:53 AM, it's morning time. Why are you home so late?" You asked, turning back to watch as he peeled his uncomfortably tight clothing off in exchange for baggy Endeavor merch.

"Wanted to stop by that 24/7 gas station- y'know the one, they sell those really good donuts?" you blinked at him, realizing he was holding up a small pink box "There was a line, they don't even let heroes skip lines. But I know that tomorrow is our anniversary and I really wanted to get them for you."

"Oh, Dove, you didn't have to, but I really appreciate it." He set the bag down, climbing into bed with you. He pressed his face against your palm, cheek squishing in the most adorable way. You heard him let out a few soft trills, softening to the quiet coos, before he fell completely silent, and completely limp against you.

You turned the fan light off, pulling the blankets over both of your bodies and tugging him closer to you.

"You're sleeping in tomorrow, Kei, no excuses," you muttered, eyes fluttering closed in your lover's embrace.

Katsuki Bakugou/ Dynamight-

My goodness- this nerd goes to bed at 8:30 every night, so exceptions. You think becoming a pro hero with a tight schedule will change that? Yeah, no fucking way.

You want sex? Too bad. Want pillow talk? Too bad. You want to do anything with Katsuki before he conks out for the night? Too damn bad.

He's a heavy sleeper, but it takes him a while to fall asleep sometimes, especially when he's had a bad day. He doesn't have nightmares, so his brain makes up for it by forcing intrusive thoughts into his head and keeping him awake.

Listen when I say he's a heavy sleeper, he's a heavy sleeper. You can shove him out of bed and he'll still stay sleeping. He also snores. Really loud. But it seems like he only snores when you're mad at him.

He also doesn't take naps, his sleep schedule is really good, and he is very healthy. Nothing will wake him up, he doesn't even need an alarm clock, just waking up naturally at 6:00.

"Katsuki, you always do this. Please, let's just watch one show, okay? One episode?"

"No, bedtime's in half an hour and I still need to do my night routine. Your episodes are like- forty-five minutes."

"But it's Wandavision!" You whined, flopping off the side of the couch like a cat.

"We've already seen Wandavision!" He snapped "Babe c'mon, I have a day off tomorrow we can binge the whole series, okay? Having a solid sleep schedule is really important."

You pouted up at him, giving him your best puppy-dog eyes. He groaned, bending over with a grunt and hoisting you over his shoulder.

"I swear you can be such a baby sometimes!" he joked "Don't worry I still love ya!" he threw open the bathroom door, setting you down "I'll make you one of those sleep face masks~" he purred

"Ughhhh I hate when you tempt me with your amazing skin routine!" You groaned, flopping against him, forcing him to hold your weight. "Fine, we'll go to bed... Iloveyoutoo."

"Hm? what was that?" he simpered, pressing his face against yours.

"I said I love you too, ya big grump~" you pressed a kiss to his cheek, smiling happily.

Tomura Shigaraki-

This man has no sleep schedule, he runs on naps and excessive overdoses of coffee and energy drinks. And before he met you, his sleep was riddled with nightmares.

He would toss and turn in bed, oftentimes falling out and just continuing to sleep on the floor.

Even if his sleep is awful, he sleeps heavily. It was near impossible to wake him up.

But then you arrived, and he didn't sleep at all. Constantly thinking about you, worrying about you, hoping nothing could ever happen to you, remembering your conversations from the day.

The poor boy was incapable of sleeping properly, whether it be sleep without nightmares or sleeping at all. But you were quick to a solution.

You rolled over, facing the man who lay next to you, basically paralyzed. The strange hands he carried on his body lay in a small pile in a corner of the room, besides one that sat on the nightstand. You'd seen Tomura without the hand on his face a few times before, but never had you seen this look on his face. Mouth straightened stiff, cheeks redder than you'd ever seen before, and eyes staring up at the ceiling.

"Hey, are you okay?" you asked, moving towards him. He wasn't even under the blankets, like you. "You're... awfully stiff..." He seemed to freeze up even more, attempting to roll away from you, effectively tumbling off the bed. "Tomura!" you threw the blankets off your body, hopping out of bed and rushing to him. "Why'd you do that, are you okay?" you crouched next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder as he sat up, hunching over.

"N-nothing!" he exclaimed, eyes flicking up to you. Somehow, he managed to get even redder, turning to look away.

"Seriously what's going on with you? You've been acting strangely since I said you could stay in my bed with me. It's not weird for couples to sleep together, y'know. We aren't doing anything but sleeping too, not even having sex or anything."

"I know!" he huffed, standing up. "I know I know I know!"

"Are you nervous?" you asked, crawling back into bed. "Or uncomfortable? If you really don't want to share a bed then I can sleep on the cou-"

"No! I- I want to sleep here, with you... I don't even know what's wrong with me right now I just-" He snapped his mouth shut, feeling you wrap your fingers around his hand. He glanced at you, breath held still. You yanked him down, shoving him onto the bed.

"W-what are you-" you pulled the blankets over his body, crawling in next to him.

"Just rest, okay?" you murmured, pressing a kiss to his forehead. He grumbled, pulling the blankets over his face. "Okay?"

"...okay..." he felt you settling down with him, one arm around his stomach.

Finally, he closed his eyes.

Shouto Todoroki/ Shoto-

The best thing about napping with him is that you can cuddle year-round, just choose a side to cool off or warm up any night!

He falls asleep pretty easily too, usually because he's just so comfortable around you. You'd just be sitting together, watching a movie maybe, then he'd be passed out on your shoulder.

He takes frequent naps too because he stays up so late at night with hero work and paperwork. You've come home and found him hugging his pillow like he hugs you.

He's always cuddled things to sleep since he was a child. There was a period of time in his life when his father took all his stuffed animals and any spare pillows he could cuddle with, to try and get him to 'man up.' He only went back on it when he realized that Shouto couldn't sleep at all, and would pass out during training.

He only gave back the spare pillows though, he'd already burned the stuffed animals, even the little blue axolotl he named Hunter.

"Shouto? You awake?" You knocked on the closed bedroom door, holding a large shopping bag in your hand. You heard a grunt inside the room and happily opened the door. You peeked inside, seeing your boyfriend sitting at the desk, signing papers. A small stuffed octopus sat by his hand, yellow, a smol frown on its face.

"I know you're busy, but I got you something. I saw it at the store and I thought it was cute." He glanced up at you, bags under his eyes.

"Hm? Show me?" you walked in, handing him the bag. Even though he was busy, and stressed as the octopus said so, he didn't yell or even grumble. He peeked inside the bag, pulling something out of it. You stood near him, smiling in excitement.

He stared, eyes wide at the large stuffed animal you'd given him. A blue axolotl. Slowly, a smile spread across his face, he reached over, flipping the octopus to the blue side, a smol smile now displayed.

He sat back, hugging the adorable stuffed predator to his chest. He glanced at the paperwork, shrugging. He stood, almost immediately flopping into bed.

"Glad to have Hunter back," he murmured.

"I paid attention when you talked about stuffed animals." you giggled, tugging off your clothes to grab some pajamas. "What about your paperwork? I'm not complaining but.."

"It's for a future mission, I still have a few days to finish all of it, it can wait. Sleep can't," he mumbled, patting the mattress next to him.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm tired too." you crawled in next to him, and he tugged you to his chest, the axolotl squished between the two of you. "Love you,"

"Love you too, Shouto."

1K notes · View notes

pinuphead · 3 years ago

Text

some Kirsty x Nikoletta hcs that devolves into my insanely rambling about a Hellraiser movie about them.

Anyway. Enough Pinsty Pinhead was like “oh what’s this Kirsty? You want me to take your shitty husband to hell instead of you?” and bc he’s fucking gay as hell he picks the man. 0 interest in her. NIKOLETTA ON THE OTHER HAND!

So like... I hc that Nikoletta was 100% attracted to Kirsty first. Like Kirsty was also a bit like 0////0 bald woman in leather! but she was too busy not dying to rlly think about it. Also Kirsty is big bisexual bc I said so. I am the god of this world. Apologise to me, for being born in my universe.

Anyway, Nikoletta was DEAD! FUCKING! SET! on getting her soul! She wanted Kirsty so bad. She would be jumping up like a puppy that heard the doorbell ring everytime someone opens the box like “Kirsty?? Kirsty???” And I imagine the other cenobites teased her about it a bit but she would bully them back for having shit taste in men so peace and love.

Meanwhile Kirsty is having a shit time bc of trauma! Like I imagine after everything that happened with her losing all her family and getting institutionalised AND THEN basically adopting Tiffany that her mental health was struggling. She spent a long time trying to get back on her feet - she sold Frank’s old house and was crying letting it go bc it was her dad’s childhood home, and she loved her dad so much :( Tiffany did her best to support her though and started working part time to help Kirsty pay for bills in their shitty little apartment. Tiffany started working at a convenience store stocking shelves and cleaning - she didn’t do work at the till bc mutism but she did her other jobs rlly thoroughly so everyone just let her get on w her stuff.

Anyway one day she was solving a Rubik's cube on her lunch break and another girl at her job was like “omg I love puzzles too” and long story short they started dating. Tiffany was rlly nervous w coming out to Kirsty as bisexual bc Kirsty was under a lot of stress and also Tiffany seems like her mother didn’t really value her for her neurodivergence and she was mistreated in the facility, so she didn’t want to jeopardise Kirsty’s love and support. And like... it was the 80s. The AIDs crisis was happening it was an awful time to be gay.

But she did come out to Kirsty eventually and Kirsty was rlly supportive! And this made Kirsty go “oh shit... sapphic relationships... are REAL!!” and she finally connected that she might be a bit gay as well :) and this happened a few years after the events of Hellraiser 1 so she’d come to terms with some of her trauma and was ready to give dating another go.

So anyway she like... made out with a few women in a gay bar and was like “yeeeaaahhhh I am a bisexual” so woop! She did worry about whether her dad would have accepted her though. The fact that she could never come out to him bc she realised this about herself after his death really haunted her :(

Anyway yeah that’s my Kirsty gay lore. Anyway, Nikoletta.

So you know how sapphic women would sometimes becomes nuns to be in a female only space where they wouldn’t have to marry men and they would like... have gay sex? That was Nikoletta all the way.

Anyway. You know how Elliott and Pinhead had the world’s cringest cat fight in Hellraiser 3? Nikoletta’s human side and cenobite side did the same thing, except her human side attached itself to Kirsty.

Anyway, her ghost shows up and Kirsty is like “god fucking dammit. You people AGAIN???” by this point they’re just like pest infestations. But Nikoletta explains in an epic montage like the one Elliott had about his war experience, but while his montage was him being sad in a field of corpses, and then sad in an attic, Nikoletta’s was just epic montage of her being gay in a monastery and like... desecrating the bible and being a cool girl with her gal pals. And then something really sad happens like the plague kills her lesbian polycule so she opens the box or something. Anyway Kirsty is looking at all this like “damn Nikoletta is FINE and an amazing gay lover. Interesting.” Because like... Nikoletta was absolutely hot as fuck as a human. These are facts.

Also Tiffany is there and Nikoletta is super sweet with her bc Tiffany is this sweet little shy girl who’s been treated badly and Nikoletta relates to that bc of her experiences being gay in the renaissance in the church and Kirsty is like “awww she’s nice and motherly to Tiffany :) I’m starting to like this lady.”

MEANWHILE evil Nikoletta is being fucked up and evil. She has her own boiler room massacre moment but I want it to be GAY! Like she kills conservatives at a gay conversion centre or something. She fucks up a church like Pinhead though like that can stay. Also she was never trapped in a statue rip Pinhead but Nikoletta is built different. She was like “Fuck being a statue I have things to do!”

Also she still wants Kirsty BAD! so she hunts her down and we have a cool lil showdown between Evil Nikoletta and regular Nikoletta and also Kirsty and Tiffany are there. Tiffany does something cool like idk, she has a gun so she just shoots all the cenobites Evil Nikoletta sends at them.Rip Joey running around crying but Tiffany is different. Autistic girls should be armed instead of the military I think. I trust them to protect me.

Anyway it gets to the point where Evil Nikoletta and regular Nikoletta are facing off. And Evil Nikoletta does the bondage tempting thing on Kirsty (but Kirsty is like... kinda into it like Evil Nikoletta was awakening things in her) and regular Nikoletta is sweating bc her and Kirsty have had a budding gay romance for this whole film. And anyway Evil Nikoletta threatens to hurt Kirsty so regular Nikoletta merges w her evil self to save her and at the end she says something hot like “I’d never hurt you Kirsty, not in a way you wouldn’t enjoy.” And Kirsty is like ooooooooh here’s my number call me baby and they kiss and you as the audience stand up in the cinema and clap while crying.

Anyway they begin a long distance relationship. And Tiffany has two moms. And Pinhead and Butterball are the weird gay uncles Kirsty pretends don’t exist. Love wins. Credits roll. I win an oscar AND nobel peace prize for this film.

Like idk the cenobites get a mission on earth like in the comics but it’s actually fun because Nikoletta and Kirsty go on dates while Nikoletta is in disguise. Like they go to a lesbian bar and Nikoletta fucking SMASHES IT at dancing. There’s a scene where Tiffany’s cool autistic girlfriend comes over so they can hang out and the cenobites are in Kirsty’s flat just chilling and they try to unconvingly pretend to be weird goths bc they’re all very protective of Tiffany and don’t want to scare her girlfriend away. Also Kirsty like.. hires a caravan so they go camping by the sea and it’s like a fucking anime beach episode. Pinhead and Lazslo wear those 1920s bathing suits and idk Tiffany catches a fish with her bare hands bc she’s epic and everyone claps.

Anyway. Rom-com titled “me and my wacky girlfriend who’s the priestess of hell” ensues.

So yeah when Kirsty becomes a cenobite it’s to be gay forever in hell! Boom comics dni. Also Tiffany is the flower girl at their evil gay wedding and Pinhead marries them bc he is technically a priest, so he should be able to officiate gay weddings I think.

Cheque please.

#don't even fucking look at me okay #I want sapphic hellraiser rom com SO BADLY YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND #kirsty cotton #hellraiser #nikoletta #like PLEASE #Nikoletta Kirsty Kiss at the top of my hierarchy of needs rn

18 notes · View notes

whump-town · 4 years ago

Text

If The Lord Don’t Forgive Me

Bi!Hotch returns

I brought Charlie around for round two because sometimes you just need sweet, wholesome gay love. And it’s sweet baby (okay sweet like sour gummy worms but it is sweet and, hey, I cut the whump out just to keep it that way so you’re welcome)

There is cussing, the slight implication to sex (but not graphic and far more like “men sometimes have sex”), homophobia (I know, I know why can’t I let them live in peace?? but I have to get something out of this too and I LOVE angst), child abuse (ugh... :( sorry Hotch but if you’re showing that pretty face in a fic, I’m gonna bring up the fact that your dad hit you...), and probably something else but I doubt it’s that bad

Anyways-- cut to the gay shit but let me hit it off with some “Work Song” by Hozier because... I’m the author and I can do what I want

My baby never fret none About what my hands and my body done If the Lord don't forgive me I'd still have my baby and my babe would have me

Despite it only being eight o’clock in the morning, Aaron Hotchner feels today has aged him immensely.

The morning started with Emily knocking over an entire bookshelf. The decision to move her into his apartment was stupid and on a whim but he’s never truly felt the consequences of that until today. Which is good considering she’s been living there for nearly three years (straight from “dead” in London to living in his house) but that is not where the focus should be placed. No, it should be placed on the fact that the crash caused him to jump. A normal, knee jerk reaction but not good when in the middle of shaving.

So, he’d come running out of the bathroom-- face stinging because he’s just jerked a razor across it-- to find the living room in shambles. Emily standing on the other side of the room looking to the point of tears but only managing the barest morsel of containment and Jack, school clothes covered in milk from his cereal, lower lip trembling, and little fist clenched for some semblance of control over the tears pouring down his face.

Standing there, the three of them each taking each other in, had felt surreal. Bit by bit, they all came together. Emily wiped her nose and rubbed the tear that fell off her face. She went to get him a band-aid and he went to Jack. That setback was only a step in the wrong direction.

Truthfully, that old bookshelf needed replacement about twenty-years ago when he built it. Its bitter fall was only a matter of time and he has yet to mourn it. The mess of the shelf was easy to clean up. He’d need to take the larger pieces to a dump or ask Morgan if he knows what to do with it. The books just got stacked on the floor and the wood splinters swept up and Jack advised to stay away from there until he or Emily could really go at it a little better and make sure there was nothing left.

The hard things came afterward.

Fighting with Jack to wear other clothes. He’d picked his current milk-soaked clothes out and Jack is reliant on a schedule. Changing clothes is a deviation and no matter how patient Hotch had tried to be, he was finding it hard to keep his cool. So he’d caved rather than lose his temper over something as simple as a second grader’s clothes. So, Jack went to school today in green overalls and blue rain boots that are a little too big. He’d looked silly but he’s seven so it’s technically still cute for him to do.

As for the nice cut he’d dug into his jaw, Emily had come to inform him that the only band-aids in the house are scooby doo. So, he has wood splinters in his living room, blood all over his shirt, Jack in poorly matching clothes, and a fucking scooby doo Band-Aid on his face.

Coffee is the only thing he knows can fix this.

“Uhm--” Leave it for today to also be the day he is confronted head-on with the very repressed sexual attraction he feels for men. “Can I--” his palms are embarrassingly damp. “Can I just get a-- a large black coffee?” The muscle in his forearm flexes and he can’t really force his fingers to grasp his wallet.

The man in question raises his eyebrow but takes the order. “Alrighty,” he answers. “Do you want creamer? Sugar?”

Hotch can feel his throat tightening in and his face heating up. Thank God he’s never been the type to flush visibly or else he’d be in some trouble. He forces his eyes on to the nametag pinned to the apron over the other man’s chest. Charlie, it reads. Hotch glances back up. “Yes-- Yes, please.” If he were a blusher, he’d be beet red.

Charlie smirks at the stammered manners. It’s cute. “You got a name, suit?”

“Ho--Hotch.”

Charlie raises an eyebrow at that but he’s not going to comment. It’s unprofessional and Hotch is more than likely a nickname. He lets it go. “Hotch” comes in enough that Charlie gets used to the strange nickname but to the staff of his shop he refers to the cute stuttering agent as “suit” and it’s easy to understand why.

“A-- A date?”

Charlie is gay but he’s not sure what “suit”/”Hotch” is. He’s thinking at least a little curious because getting the poor man into a stuttering puddle of anxiety and stammering is as simple as deviating from their typical “cream and sugar” discourse.

Charlie smirks, he thinks the stammering is cute. “Suit” is such a composed guy that it is cute. “Well, yeah. Unless the terminology has changed, yeah, suit, a date.”

Hotch’s throat feels impossibly tight. He’s aware of Charlie, very aware of him and his jaw and how hard the pads of his hands are and-- “I’m--” I’m not gay “Ugh, wh-when?”

Oh. Well, he wasn’t expecting it to be that easy. “Hmm, good question. I hadn’t thought that far ahead.” Charlie sucks his lip into his mouth, thinking. He snaps his fingers with a sudden idea. He bites the Sharpie’s lid off (the one he uses to write names on the cups) and hurriedly scribbles something on a napkin. “Here’s my number. Text me and we can work that out.”

That was… months ago.

Things have been steady. Good.

Pulling in a deep breath, Aaron Hotchner plunges his head under the luke-warm water of his bathtub. Goosebumps have broken out across his skin but the cold kills the ache in his overworked muscles. Besides, he’s entirely too distracted by two things: (1) he’s too fucking big to fit comfortably in this bathtub. Knees bent, his thighs are out of the water making this bath entirely useless. (2) The very unnervingly attractive coffee shop barista who’s shop he goes to, all the time. Who just so happens to be on his way over right now, for dinner.

“Wow.”

Startled by the sound, Hotch jerks and gets a mouthful of water and suds. Coughing and pulling at his burning nose, Hotch scowls at the intruder. None other than Emily Prentiss standing at the side of the tub, one hand on her hip, and the other extending a towel to him. “Emily!”

She raises an eyebrow of indifference as if he’s the one acting oddly. “You can hold your breath for an impressive amount of time,” she says. She moves the towel in front of him, trying to get him to take it from her. He won’t move his hands from where he’s placed them over his groin.

“Emily, get out!”

“Why are you making this a big deal?” she groans, rolling her eyes. “Hotch I have seen you naked!.” She puts the towel near the edge, where he can reach it without it falling into the water or to the floor. She makes a show of planting her hand over her eyes and turning her back. “Such a baby,” she mumbles. “What is the big deal?”

He ignores her.

She hears the water moving with him as he stands, large splashes as he disturbs the surface. “You’re welcome by the way,” she mumbles. She’d thrown the towel in the dryer so it would be warm for when he got out. Contrary to his dramatics, she does love him. He’s her friend and in the same ways that he takes care of her, she makes sure someone takes care of him. “Besides,” she says, turning around despite his disapproving huff of a sigh. “I came to tell you Charlie is here.”

Hotch freezes. Ah… that’s why she’d come in. That deer in the headlights look that she doesn’t see nearly enough of. It’s silly, if not endearing, that Hotch gets so nervous for these dates. Charlie is pretty clearly head over heels for him and it’s a little surprising. Charlie all bright and cheery, a hard extravert. Perfect, always early to their dates, Charlie.

“He’s early,” Hotch stammers.

Emily nods. The date is at seven-thirty and it’s not quite six. “He knows,” she informs him, settling her hips back against the sink. She’s not watching him throw on his boxers but she’s just… standing there, talking as he drops the towel and makes quick work of drying himself off and pulling his legs into pants. “He also knows you’re in the bath so don’t go breaking your neck. I don’t want to tell your seven-foot-tall, beefcake of a boyfriend that you’ve managed to kill yourself in here.”

Hotch huffs, rolling his eyes. It would be just his luck that he breaks his neck in here while buck ass naked, with Charlie in the living room no doubt. Though, that is a bit of a ridiculous thought to care about. Here Emily is standing, casually watching him pull jeans over his boxers, having already seen him in his full glory. Charlie, even, has seen all of what he has to offer. He’s spent the majority of his life in the company of Jessica. She’s seen him in hospital gowns, bare assed which is strangely humiliating (and there’s the bonus of the repressed memories of Jessica catching him and Haley multiple times).

They’ve all seen him naked but that’s still not something he wants to deal with.

“You really do look strange in jeans,” Emily informs him as he’s shrugging on his shirt. Charlie had warned him against his more traditional polo. Evidently, he’d look like a “stiff” if he chose to wear a polo to the park. He shoots her a glare but it’s true. No matter how many times she sees him in regular clothes… she just can’t get used to it.

Charlie isn’t mean to him when he wears jeans though.

“There you are,” Charlie greets when Hotch steps out of the bathroom. The strange, beautiful thing about Charlie is that he doesn’t really care that Hotch’s life is crazy. He’d been unsettled by the grisly things that seem to occur so brutally to Hotch but he was quick, startlingly so, to remind Hotch that none of what Charlie had just been told sounded like it was Hotch’s fault. Despite Hotch’s swayed narration.

He’d thought it might be a bit strange to have Emily living in his apartment but Charlie also knew about the details leading up to that decision. The loss of Haley putting a strain on Jack’s independence and pattern of life. Being a single parent and a federal agent pulling Hotch every which way. Haley’s father, Roy, falling ill and commanding more of Jessica’s attention. Then, the fateful fall out with Ian Doyle, Emily moving to London, and the internal bleeding that had almost killed Hotch.

The last of which had been the end all be all. Emily came home and she found herself drawn back here by the less than stellar track record of her family. The abrupt decision landed her here, with Hotch, and it’s been beneficial for everyone involved.

Charlie feels a little safer knowing that when he has to go back to his own apartment, Hotch has his own apartment full of Jack and Emily waiting up for him. Even though he’s only been with Hotch a short while, he’s becoming more and more aware of the trouble that seems to follow his partner.

“Your hair is still wet!” Charlie kisses Hotch, fingers slipping easily through the soaked hair at the back of his head. “I won’t take you out in the cold until you’ve dried it. The last thing I need is you getting sick on me.”

Jack nods seriously hearing this. He’s seated beside Charlie on the couch, the two having been discussing superhero comics. It was turning into an argument when Hotch had come out (who would win between Batman and Ironman-- Charlie says Ironman and Jack Batman). “You can’t get sick,” Jack informs him firmly. “You promised you’d make pancakes for breakfast Saturday.”

Hotch raises an eyebrow, shaking his head. “All I’m good for to you people is my cooking skills.”

Charlie sucks in a breath, making a I don’t know about that, sort of face. “Just your pancakes, Aaron.” Charlie pats Hotch’s thigh the opposite of tender just downright taunting. “I love you but you can not cook or bake. You literally burn everything.”

The chorus of grunted seconding of that statement behind him feels like a betrayal but he really is bad at cooking. And math. And remembering general the most basic things. So, true but hey! “I’m going to go dry my hair,” Hotch announces, shaking his head. Sure, laugh it up now. They all need him. It’s funny now… brats.

“Get some gloves! There’s a wind chill!”

Emily huffs a laugh and Hotch turns around to catch it. He smirks at the sight of his living room, melancholy swelling in his throat. His family genuinely looks like his lesbian best friend, his ex-wife’s older sister, his son, and his 6’5 ex-college football player turned coffee shop owner boyfriend. It’s a little crazy and yet… comforting because at eighteen when he’d packed up his meager belongings to go to college, he didn’t think he was capable of having any of this.

As Charlie pulls him out the door-- hair dry-- Jack’s actively talking to them both. Something pointless but childish and so, by reason, very important. Emily’s reaching into his jacket and stuffing a pair of gloves into his pocket, throwing a scarf at his head. Jessica’s calling after them too and as soon as the door shuts Hotch pulls in a deep breath.

“They’re smothering,” Charlie informs him as they step off the porch. He offers his hand out to Hotch, scowling down at the icy steps.

Hotch hums in agreeance taking Charlie’s hand out of necessity for touch not help. “You’ll get used to it.” The implication of his statement comes to hit him centerfold but Charlie seems unaffected and Hotch is reminded that not even ten minutes Charlie had said that he loved him. “I love you but you can not cook or bake. You literally burn everything.”

I love you. I love you. I love you.

“Aaron? Did you hear me?”

Hotch blinks stupidly, looking up, and shaking his head. “No,” he mumbles regretfully.

Charlie shrugs it off. “I asked if you were hungry, yet.” Though a year is not altogether that much time, especially when compared to their ages, Charlie would like to think he has an understanding of Aaron. He does know that for certain, actually. He squeezes Aaron’s hand within his own and smiles over at him. He’s got layers, Aaron, and you have to pay a price to understand each and every one.

Somehow, that enchants Charlie. He loves it. There’s nothing he wouldn’t give up to have another layer.

“No need to pretend to be,” Charlie explains as they separate to get into his car. “You either or you aren’t. I just wondered if you wanted dinner now or after the walk.” Charlie wants his opinion. He desperately wants to understand what is going on in Aaron’s head. The thoughts he has when he gets silent like this, his restless fingers digging and rubbing.

Hotch hums, reflexively drawing his arms to his chest after he buckles himself into the car. He fidgets anxiously as he tries to figure out the correct answer. What it is that Charlie wants to hear. Charlie likes to eat early, that’s something he’s noticed. However, if Charlie’s asking him then maybe he doesn’t want to eat early. Would Charlie be hungrier after a walk? If they eat now it’ll be cold outside by the time they can get to the park. Then Charlie’s going to be mad at him because it’ll be his fault for having chosen to eat early and go to the park late. Maybe then Charlie will finally realize how stupid this whole relationship is, that he can do better, someone who isn’t like him, and--

“Hey.” Charlie doesn’t reach out and touch him. That’s a lesson he’s learned over the last few months. Hotch doesn’t mind physical touch but he’s easily unnerved by it when he doesn’t know it’s coming. Considering how lost in thought he just was, there is no way he would have seen it coming. “We can just go after, okay?”

Hotch immediately calms, “okay.” His shoulders fall from where he’d slowly, stiffly brought them up. He nods his head, looking down to his lap, while Charlie drives. He has to calm down.

He looks over, catching Charlie’s smooth movement. His arm is on the center console, palm up in a common gesture waiting for Aaron to take his hand. He blinks for a moment, mind slowly turning over exactly what this is. Glancing at Charlie, Hotch slowly lifts his hand up and shyly slots his fingers between his. Smiling when Charlie doesn’t even react much more than a pleased grin.

Oh, he thinks calmly. He likes holding Charlie’s hand. He likes Charlie. The way that he just fills the silence without ever expecting Hotch to return the vigor. Simply requiring Hotch remain engaged with the occasional hum of understanding or scowl of confusion. And Hotch loves that so much more-- that he never has to find the words to explain that he doesn’t understand. Charlie just knows.

“You can’t.”

Charlie frowns, turning to glance at Hotch. “What do you mean?” That’s where the compensation occurs-- Charlie is awful at remembering things. He forgets his dry cleaning, appointments that he set up, holidays, birthdays, weekend plans-- everything. Hotch seems to forget nothing.

Hotch looks out the window of the passenger side, feeling the cold seeping in from the door, but docile and contently closes his eyes to narrow his attention to Charlie’s thumb rubbing lazy patterns on the back of his hand. “On the twenty-third you have interviews for waiters. Your morning, at the very least, is packed.”

Charlies frowns, well shit. “You know,” he says, giving Hotch’s hand a little squeeze. “If you just came to work with me, I wouldn’t have to have those interviews. It would fix so many of both of our problems.”

Hotch turns his head, smirking at Charlie. Not true. It would fix some of their issues-- how much time Hotch’s job steals from them, Charlie’s need for more staff. However, Charlie just wants him working there because Charlie thinks Hotch would look hot in the apron (actually, he knows Hotch is hot in the apron).

They arrive at the park and the two get out. Charlie immediately regrets coming out in this weather.

The grass crunches under Hotch’s feet but he enjoys the way the snow muffles so much of the noise around them. Leaving nothing but the few courageous birds watching them from their perches. It’s a safety Hotch finds entirely enrapturing. Enough to not mind the cold at all and how Charlie’s been fussing with his own clothes since they set off.

Hotch is just walking along. His hands are cold but not enough to ache and with Charlie’s covering the majority of his right hand, he can slip the left into his pocket. It’s not until Charlie squeezes his hand to get his attention that they stop, that Hotch pulls his attention to his partner and away from the scenery.

Charlie pulls him by the lapels of his dark jacket, turning him so that they’re standing facing one another. The toes of their shoes bumping together. “Come here,” Charlie instructs, words a cloud of condensation around them. He wastes no time in pulling the hat off of his own head to pull it down over Hotch’s. Smiling when it smushes his overgrown bangs against his forehead. “I don’t want you getting an ear infection out here. Gotta keep you healthy.”

Hotch shyly grins, looking down at the ground, “I’ll be okay.” He still turns his cheek into Charlie’s palm, letting him wrap that hand around the back of his neck, turning his chin up to kiss him. His lips are cold and the tip of his nose feels frozen. “It’s not that cold.”

Charlie shrugs and Hotch doesn’t pull the hat off.

“You outta be disgusted by yourselves.”

Hotch flinches, recoiling from Charlie and bowing his head rather than to look up and see who it is shouting at them. But Charlie is not new to this little game and he straightens his back and raises a questioning brow. “Oh? Should we?” He glares down at the woman on the track, it’s clear she’d been running before she decided to come nosing her way into their business. “I’d appreciate it if you left us alone, ma’am. We aren’t hurting anyone.”

She scoffs.

Charlie stands still, unwavering. They’re big men. Hotch may be a force to be reckoned with but Charlie is not, by any means, small. They’re the same height and the woman in question is a petite blonde. They’re intimidating. She rolls her eyes, shaking her head disgusted but stalks off. Whispering under her breath about hell and how their time will come.

“What a hag,” Charlie grumbles, rolling his eyes and reaching down between them to take Hotch’s hand. He steps to move on but he feels the resistance in Aaron. His hand now loosely holding on to Charlie, fingers lightly hooked together. “Aaron--”

Hotch forces himself to take a steadying breath-- drop his shoulders, unclench his jaw, inhale slowly. His eyes peel up off of the ground and he knows he hasn’t moved fast enough. Creases of worry have broken up Charlie’s handsome face, tension that doesn’t belong there. “I--”

Charlie shakes his head, discouraging Hotch’s lame excuse. “What she said…” Charlie can’t tell Hotch that what she said shouldn’t affect him. That he should brush it off and not worry about what a small minded bitch has to say about them but that’s not fair. None of this ever really is. Not when it comes to Aaron. “She doesn��t matter, Aaron. You. You matter to me, okay?”

Hotch furrows his brows, letting out an aggravated puff of air as he fails to work through the shame burning his chest.

Charlie looks around them, tapping his fingers as he contemplates what he should do. “Do you--” How, in all of Virginia did he manage to get the one DILF, Unit Chief with the inability to make a decision or admit what he needs? He means it fondly, of course, but sometimes he’d like to lovingly shake some sense into this man.

Taking a calming moment, Charlie knows that his ability to play out this next scene is vital to his afternoon. If Aaron detects even a fraction of impatience, anger, or frustration he’ll shut down and then Charlie is going to have to spend days if not weeks working Aaron back to where he is now.

“It’s cold out here,” he states calmly. Aaron glances at him, sniffling and rubbing at his wind burned nose. “I’m hungry, I-- I forgot my lunch at home this morning.” Even though Aaron bought him a bright, hunter’s orange lunch box that sits painfully on his kitchen counter so that he has to see it. “What do you say we turn back for the car and surprise Jack with an early return? Order pizza? Watch some Scooby Doo?”

Aaron sniffles again, glancing at Charlie and then to the path they’re clearly meant to be headed on. “But…” he clears his throat. He can’t stand being like this. The anxious partner. The fucked up partner. He was with Haley. Now he is with Charlie. And, well, everyone knows how Haley played out. “You-- You wanted to walk.”

Charlie shakes his head, smiling and playfully poking Hotch’s chest. “No, I want to spend time with you.” Though he’s terrified Aaron will recoil from it, he makes the careful decision to touch him. Smiling when Aaron just looks back at him, searching for something but Charlie isn’t mad so Aaron won’t find what he’s looking for. He strokes Aaron cheek, “I’m cold. You’re cold. We can walk if you want but…”

Hotch looks back down the trail and shakes his head. No, he doesn’t want to walk.

Charlie feels pretty proud of himself. He’s pretty good at this.

And Jack is thrilled to have them back.

Hotch feigns hurt when Jack runs straight past him to Charlie. “Am I chopped liver?” But his light, fluttering chest betrays him and he can’t help a soft smirk as Jack holds Charlie’s hand. Charlie nodding, listening to Jack as he kicks his shoes off.

Emily appears at the mouth of the hall, frowning at the sight before her. She’s in different clothes from when they left. One of her dating apps having finally come through and delivered her plans for this lovely evening. She was just about to call Hotch to tell him she was going to have to call Jessica to watch Jack. “What are you doing back?”

Before Hotch can overthink the question Charlie smirks and motions over his shoulder, “it’s like ten degrees out there. Way too cold for a walk, don’t know what I was thinking.”

Good enough excuse for Emily, she doesn’t care. She has other things on her mind. “I have a date.” Both Aaron and Charlie look surprised. Which is annoying but she won’t engage them in conversation because she’s better than that. “So, I will be out of your hair this afternoon.”

Well, kind of. She steals some of their pizza before she leaves. Even sits down for an episode of Scooby Doo before her date texts and says she’s ready.

“Well, boys,” she leans down and kisses the top of Jack’s head. Wishing him a good night and a whisper to make sure he’s extra good for his father when Hotch puts him down tonight. “I’m off. I will see you in the morning.” She offers Charlie a cordial head nod and Hotch gets his hair messed with as she passes.

“Be careful,” Hotch calls as she shuts the door.

It doesn’t take long for Jack to fall asleep and Hotch can feel himself slipping with Charlie leaning against him, his hand on the inside of Hotch’s thigh. Warm and comfortable, he doesn’t want to get up. But he manages to get Jack to bed with minimal fighting-- they agree to keep his nightlight, the hall light, and the bathroom light on. Emily even sends a text to confirm that she hasn’t been murdered by her date, he rolls his eyes but appreciates the sentiment.

It’s a good night, all things considered.

For a while, at least.

He’s in bed. Boxers shifted low on his hips as lays atop his beaten, threadbare comforter. The thick, heavy heat of an August night settling thickly over his bones. A blanket of sweat shining on his chest, just barely visible from the light of the hallway peaking into his cracked door. Downstairs, his parents roar on. He can make out every word spoken but if he hums just enough and presses his fingers into the thin mattress until it hurts he can numb out the world.

Nothing.

He thinks about Scott from his biology class. His booming laughter, already having hit his growth spurt and though only sixteen standing over them all in a man’s body. Thick with muscles that Aaron had felt when Scott had pulled him in for a tight, jovial bear hug. Perhaps he’d imagined it but for a split second Aaron had seen a flash of something-- warmth that he, himself, still can not name.

Closing his eyes, he brings back the heat of his stomach. A smile pulling at his lips as he thinks about how it felt pressed to Scott’s chest. Swallowed by the other’s boy’s body. The ache between his hips increases. It’s bad and it’s ugly but it’s Scott that he thinks about. It’s Scott that he wants.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

Aaron scrambles upright, both hands planted on the bed as he scurries away from its edge and anywhere near where his father might be able to grab one of his frantically moving limbs. Still, a rough hand is thrown out and Aaron yelps in surprise as his body is yanked to the edge. He can’t hear the words being thrown at him, just looks at his drunken father screaming. Sees his mouth move but knows nothing of their meaning.

He’s wrenched up and out of bed, scrambling to keep up with the direction in which he’s pulled down the hall. To the large, cast iron clawfoot tub in the bathroom. He’s thrown chest first into it’s cold edge, his fingers wrapping tightly around the biting cold of the rim. He knows his fate long before his father’s broad hand grabs onto his hair and hauls him up just enough to push him down into the cold, soapy water.

His ringing ears hearing the slurs being thrown at him. Faggot. He screams as his father punches his exposed chest, causing him to gasp, the bubbles of air hitting his face. He’d used that word before. Thrown it at another boy the way rocks had been thrown at him for doing the same thing-- being too small, wearing weird clothes. He wonders exactly how it is that he can change because he tries. Good Lord, he tries so hard.

“Aaron.”

His vision blacks out for a moment and he’s lifted from the water. Everything feels strangely familiar. He can’t feel the cold water. Can’t feel the water dripping down his face.

“Aaron!”

He can’t expel the water in his throat. The hand on the back of his head tightens as water and his dinner come up, hot and wet against his chest as he’s moved mid-choke. His head goes under and he screams, grabbing frantically at his father’s hand on his head.

“Aaron--”

Screaming Aaron fights weakly against the hands touching him. It takes a moment for the uncoordinated sweeps of his arms to connect with nothing. For him to get a proper amount of space to breathe. The ringing numb of his ears slowly dies and he feels the world creeping back in around him. He blinks into the darkness, chest heaving First, the dull clicking of fan in the corner of the room. It sweeps left to right, pauses, and comes back right to left. Then the hobbling, swinging of the fan above him. Cold air.

He’s not there in that tiny, suffocating town. In that too-big house with too many places to be seen and not nearly enough to hide.

“You fucking scared me,” pants someone behind him.

A large hand plants itself between his shoulder blades, the bed dipping as weight is moved across it’s top. His body flinches but he’s only minutely aware of the physical movement and, slowly, the rest of him leans into the warmth of the palm. Tears swell as he turns over his shoulder, eyes closed, and going blindly where he knows arms will enclose him. Protect him. “Charlie,” he finally recognizes. His face finds the other man’s shoulder and he feels, rather than hears, the sob that leaves his grimacing lips.

Charlie wraps his arms around Hotch’s shoulder, pulling him closer.

Hotch gives himself over, leaning completely into him. Gently, Hotch feels Charlie moving parts of him to adjust them back onto the bed. “Do you want to talk about it?” Charlie lays back, pulling Hotch’s knee so his hips cant against Charlie’s. The inner side of Hotch’s thighs lies laying across his. There’s no need to open his eyes, to fight. He knows he’s safe.

His tears have slowed but there’s no denying something big has happened. Lately, Hotch has noticed Charlie pushing for him to open up more but Charlie and Hotch’s childhoods are nothing alike. It’s hard to tell him about the dozen times his father put him in the hospital, each time with a better story than the last, and always Hotch’s fault. Had the whole town believing Hotch to be some miscreant kid.

And he was bad but not the sense that was ever true. He’d smoked and drank but that was small-town stuff. Everyone gets into that sort of thing one way or another. He’d had sex but no one he and his partners knew about that, his male partners, anyhow. The first time he’d slept with Haley he’d been proud to have fallen for a woman.

There was an old run-down barn that he’d take boys out to. There was one wall, facing the woods, that was strong enough to support weight and you could lean up against it. He’d been caught only once and the old farmer had beaten him with the wooden end of a rake. The other boy had managed to run off. Hotch’s pants had pooled against around his ankles and the other boy hadn’t taken his completely off his hips. That was a mistake Hotch only made that one time. Not that it would have mattered.

After that day, everyone knew what he was.

Which is what bred his nightmare. Though, that night had gone nothing like his dream. He’d come home with welts and broken ribs from the beating that old farmer gave him. As soon as he opened the door, he knew what was waiting for him. It was from the first floor that his father had dragged him, by his hair, to the second floor. Where Sean’s dirty bathwater sat cooling all afternoon.

But Hotch won’t tell Charlie about that day. It’s not worth it. So he changes the subject. “We need to clean the sheets,” Hotch finally sniffles. His voice is rough from the night’s activities and he remembers what they’d done before he’d fallen asleep and knows that surely did not help. Under his left hip, there is dampness to the old cotton sheet, like something wet has been drying. Sheets probably should be replaced but these are the back-up sheets and the goods ones are in the dryer.

Charlie hums, a vibration that Hotch can feel all the way down to his toes. “That would be your mess,” Charlie informs him matter-of-factly. Pressing his lips to Hotch’s forehead. “I did try to clean you up if you recall.” Charlie’s fingers have wrapped protectively around Hotch’s body, thumb lazily rubbing back and forth over his bare hip. “You told me to fuck off so…”

He remembers. He was still sensitive, shaking with exertion, and hadn’t taken kindly to Charlie dragging a slightly too cold wash rag over his ass. First of all, it was way too wet and secondly, it was cold. What was he to do other than protest?

Charlie’s chest shifts underneath his head as he bends to look at the clock. Yawning deeply Charlie pulls the blankets back over them both, rubbing at Hotch’s hip. “Let’s get some sleep,” he mumbles around another yawn that manages to overtake his breath. “Don’t be afraid to wake me up,” Charlie mumbles. “I want you to wake me up, capeesh?”

Hotch closes his eyes and turns a little more into the warmth of Charlie’s body. Trying to think of nothing. To slow the rapid progressions of his thoughts. There is no way that this was a good idea. A relationship. A life. He brought Haley into his world and looked at what happened. He’s a swirling storm of trouble, sucking in the best parts of the world and ruining them. He’s a liar.

“I love you, Aaron,” Charlie whispers, straining his neck to kiss the top of Hotch’s head. His hand holds Aaron still against him. “I don’t want you to be lying here suffering afraid to talk to me.”

I love you. I love you. I love you. That’s not good. It can’t be. He’s not worth that. Charlie is great. He’s gentle and he’s kind and he’s loving and Hotch can’t even decide when they should eat. If a walk in the park is better than a movie.

“You have not tricked me.” He wonders how Charlie sees so clearly into his mind. It’s not mind reading, Charlie can feel his pounding heart and tense muscles. He’s always so tense. “I love you completely, entirely, enchantingly by choice.” Charlie sighs softly. Content. He wishes desperately to bring Aaron the same peace that Aaron brings him. It's a content, pleased sigh that leaves his mouth and that confuses Aaron so much. No louder than a whisper, seemingly more to himself than to Aaron Charlie whispers. “There are worse life sentences than to be tricked into falling in love with you.”

#criminal minds #aaron hotchner #emily prentiss #jack hotchner #bi!hotch #tw homophobia #tw child abuse #criminal minds fanfiction

58 notes · View notes

jerakeenc · 4 years ago

Text

many kidfics i’ve read and loved

look who’s reccing a million year old fics now. kidfics, very many. posted to dw for snowflake, thought I’d copy here as well. will be reading most, if not all. if you don’t hear from me again, this list is the culprit.

101 Ways To Get Lucky (In Love) by lenore

18,200 words | SGA, McKay/Sheppard

Rodney McKay is rich, gorgeous and at the top of his game—except someone just moved the goalposts! Now Rodney realizes he is sorely lacking the one status symbol that everybody seems to have…the perfect family. Rodney needs help, so he hires a relationship coach. Single-dad John Sheppard may be an expert, but not when it comes to his own relationships! And every day he spends with Rodney makes him wish that he could be the one to fill the vacancy in Rodney's life…

A Beautiful Lifetime Event by astolat

29,000 words | SGA, McKay/Sheppard

Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.

An Earlier Heaven by regann

67,400 words | X-Men, Erik/Charles

In the wake of Cuba, Charles and his students are ready to pick up the pieces and work toward achieving Charles's dream of a safe haven for young mutants. Those plans, however, take a surprising turn thanks to a very unexpected complication. As he slowly builds a future for his students and for his child, Charles struggles with the loss of Erik and the secrets he's willing to keep to protect his family, but those strides are shattered when Erik makes a startling reappearance into his life. [mpreg, kidfic, ensemble]

And everything nice by noelia_g

30,200 words | Social Network, Mark/Eduardo

The one where Mark somehow ends up with a child and of course needs a nanny for the amount of time he spends at the office. Only problem is a string of nannys keep trying to get into his pants for what he assumes is his money. Cue Mark's assistant hiring a male nanny, enter Eduardo.

asking to be born by longtime_lurker

26,500 words | Bandom, Pete/Patrick

"Don't worry, it's probably just his big gay freakout," Andy yells cheerfully and unhelpfully into Patrick's ear as they're hustling Pete over to the nearest private clinic.

Better with You by harriet_vane

38,100 words | 1D, Liam/Louis

Based on this prompt at the kinkmeme:

Single parent and solo artist Liam Payne hires Louis Tomlinson to be a full time nanny to his four year old son Sammy. Although the two men don't quite click from the start it's love at first sight between Sammy and Louis. Eventually Louis and Liam warm up to each other and get on like a house on fire, in fact the two become a little too fond of each other.

I refuse to apologize for how sweet this ended up, okay? It's kidfic, I am forever writing kidfic, and this one is even kid-fic-ier than usual.

Can't Get Enough of You (Baby) by eternalbreath

22,100 words | Inception, Arthur/Eames

Eames vanishes from dreamshare and Arthur goes a little crazy looking for him until he stumbles across him -- with a baby.

Chelsea, Chelsea, I Believe by empathapathique

300,800 words | Hockey, Kane/Toews

Patrick meets a girl his rookie year.

Don't You Shake Alone by dsudis

62,180 words | Generation Kill, Brad/Nate

Nate looked exactly like Brad always pictured him: exhausted in the full life-in-a-combat-zone sense of the word.

Dude, what's a bulwark? by kellifer_fic

12,150 words | Teen Wolf, Derek/Stiles

Beacon Hills is the kind of small town where everybody knows everybody, and what everybody knows is that surly diner owner Derek Hale and free spirited single dad Stiles Stilinski have been in love with each other for years. If only they knew it too.

Every Other Beautiful World by rhiannonhero

43,280 words | SGA, McKay/Sheppard

Some things are unexpected but still inevitable in every beautiful world.

Forever, Now by harriet_vane

227,100 words | Bandom, Frank/Gerard, Jon/Spencer, Brendon/Ryan, Brian/Greta

Brian rescues kid!Gerard and Mikey from life on the streets, and eventually everyone finds a family.

here comes the sun by oflights

56,600 words | Social Network, Mark/Eduardo

This is a story about growing up, sad 70's rock songs, too much hair gel, "Maxwell's Silver Hammer", a baby with curly hair, a Geiger counter, a dog that isn't named Max, the Chicken Dance, Cheerios, pepper-spray, drugs, sex, and a stuffed chicken named Cluckerberg, nicknamed Cluck. or: Mark raises Sean's accidental baby, and I write the fluffiest thing ever.

I Got a Love (That Keeps Me Waiting) by svmadelyn

163,700 words | Hockey, Kane/Toews

There's a lot of different ways this summary could go, like:

Patrick Kane gets more than a gold medal in Sochi.

Or, the classic: It's too late to pull out now.

Or: Patrick Kane continues to thrive in high pressure situations.

Or: Patrick Kane gets knocked up, goes to White Castle, and finds love, not necessarily in that order.

But, ultimately, all that really matters is this: Patrick Kane is keeping his baby.

I Would Be by cathalin

20,290 words | American Idol, Kris/Adam

AU. Adam and Kris meet a few years down the road, when down-on-his-luck Kris and his young daughter Katherine show up to rent a room from Adam, who never made it to an Idol audition.

Ice Ice Baby by uraneia

51,340 words | Hockey, Claude/Danny

A gold medal isn't the only souvenir Claude brings home from Prague.

OR: The one where Claude gets drunk, gets pregnant, and gets convinced to move in with Danny, whom he's been secretly in love with for years. What could possibly go wrong?

my heart is bigger than the distance in between us by estrella30

15,000 words | 1D, Nick/Harry

Nick chuckles quietly but grabs the remote and follows Emma, Aimee coming up close behind him. It’s indeed Harry on the telly, singing along to his latest radio hit and smiling slowly into the camera far too seductively for half eight on a Friday morning, if you ask Nick. He presses the volume just in time to catch the crowd’s roaring applause and see the pink flush Harry’s cheeks. Nick watches him duck his head as he gives a small wave to the audience, and it hits Nick that Harry is still the most humble and appreciative billionaire Nick’s ever met.

Good job, popstar, Nick thinks to himself.

or, Nick is a single dad and Harry is his bff and it's a bunch of years into the future and they fall in love

Once Upon a Furry Octopus by skoosiepants

11,270 words | SGA, McKay/Sheppard

He was an intelligent, intuitive pet, but he wasn’t going to start sniffing out ZPMs or hidden Ancient weaponry or detailed instructions on how to kill a Wraith with a common household item. A pen, for instance.

Reconcilable Differences by astolat

40,000 words | Smallville, Clark/Lex

Luthor Family Values.

Shelter by harriet_vane

63,500 words | Social Network, Jesse/Andrew

From the kinkmeme prompt: Some sort of AU vaguely based on Shelter! For whatever reason, Jesse has to take care of Hallie and give up his dream of being an actor. He ends up working in a dead end job when former, now successful friend (Andrew) returns home. They fall in love, etc, only Jesse can't go away with him because he has a responsibility to his family. CUE ANGST.

Show Me The Way Back Home Baby by stilinskisparkles

15,000 words | Teen Wolf, Derek/Stiles

In which Lydia and Jackson produce the world's cutest baby, and the pack goes crazy-- the good kind of crazy. Except for Derek, who is afraid of tiny cute babies and Stiles who plans to be the best Uncle ever. Even if Danny called dibs on Godfather.

Skybird by windsweptfic

33,785 words | Inception/White Collar, Arthur/Eames

Arthur and Eames adopt a kid and raise that kid into Neal Caffrey.

Small Cells and Fibers by sevenfists

7,830 words | Bandom, Frank/Gerard

Tuesdays were finger-painting days. Frank made sure to wear his oldest pair of jeans, because even with his full-length apron and his constant reminders that paint belongs on paper and not on clothing, he always ended up with tiny, multi-colored handprints all over his clothes. There wasn't a thing he could do about it, so he just wore pants from 1995.

Small Primes and Square Roots by liviapenn

12,500 words | SGA, McKay/Sheppard

"I hope you picked someone really intelligent, otherwise it seems like it would be kind of a waste. Of incubation time, if nothing else."

So Wise We Grow by deastar

81,250 words | Star Trek Reboot, Kirk/Spock

"Commander Spock, we have located your son," the Vulcan lady on the screen says, which would be great, except Jim can tell by the look on Spock's face that he's never heard of this kid before in his life. "If it is expedient, the child will be sent to join you on the Enterprise within the week."

Something Better by lovelypoet

18,350 words | Bandom, Frank/Gerard

"We all have to take jobs we don't like sometimes, you know?"

The Next Time You Say Forever by Thistlerose

27,300 words | Star Trek Reboot, Kirk/McCoy

After his ex-wife's death, McCoy is forced to leave the Enterprise to look after his teenage daughter. Under normal circumstances, this would be the end of…whatever it is he has with Kirk that's more than friendship, but less than what he wants. But the universe has other intentions.

The Reeducation of Misters Kane and Toews by jezziejay

15,900 words | Hockey, Kane/Toews

In which Kaner sort of has a kid, and Mr. Toews doesn't know which of them is the bigger brat.

AU featuring teacher!Jon and hockey-player!Kaner. With bonus 'Hawks characters, love notes, pasta jewelry, Be Better Pizzas, pirouettes, a sprinke of angst and guest appearance by Derek Jeter.

The Road Delivered Us Home by keelywolfe

117,430 words | Hobbit, Thorin/Bilbo

In the years since Bilbo left Erebor, he has lost his respectability, gained a nephew, and gotten on with life at Bag End.

He'd left aside adventure for the comforts and peace of his little Hobbit hole, and for the love of a child who needed him. Though perhaps, adventures can yet find him.

This Story Was Brought to You by Our Sponsors by scaramouche

29,500 words | Supernatural, Dean/Castiel

Dean's post-apocalyptic life is a friggin' soap opera. Romance! Angst! Separations! Reunions! Pizza Dinners! A Child Dean Never Knew He Had! It's all very dramatic.

throw a little sparkle all over it by etben

26,000 words | Bandom, Frank/Gerard

"Hey, Ma," Mikey says. "No, everything's fine—well, I mean, Gerard accidentally adopted a baby—no, he's changing her now, he can't talk."

Tiny Houses by ohmyjetsabel

77,130 words | Teen Wolf, Derek/Stiles

"So this is what Stiles does. He lies in Scott’s bed and waits for Melissa to say she’s found someone to get it out of him, to cure him of the wrongness and the bad, and he dreams.

God, he dreams.

He dreams of fire and swollen bellies and that scene in Alien, of giving birth to jackals through his urethra, the whole horrific nine yards. His head is a terrible place to be, he can’t imagine his stomach is much better, why anyone would want to put a thing inside of it."

Tip, Slide, Tumble by j_s_cavalcante

42,900 words | due South, Fraser/Kowalski

Ray knew when he found the body in the alley it was going to change someone's life. He just didn't expect that life would be his.

Turn by saras_girl

306,000 words | Harry Potter, Harry/Draco

One good turn always deserves another. Apparently.

Unless it's lies or it's love by sprat

25,300 words | American Idol, Kris/Adam

In which Adam (a rock star) meets Kris (a single dad) at an Emergency Room in Arkansas at the end of a particularly shitty night. Also features: San Francisco, fresh starts, baked goods, OCs, cameo appearances by Matt and Megan, pirates, monsters with garbage heads and a recording studio.

What Child Is This by lamardeuse

30,150 words | Merlin, Arthur/Merlin

A modern AU with Merlin, Arthur, mayhem, a baby and a jingly elf hat.

What to Expect by arsenic

29,200 words | Bandom, Bob/Mikey

Mikey has his band, and his little girl, and that's enough. Really, it is.

Winter's Children by neery

66,890 words | Marvel, Bucky/Steve

When their attempts to recreate the super soldier serum failed, Hydra started trying to breed Captain America clones from his genetic samples. Unfortunately, the serum's effects aren't passed down genetically, so instead of an army of tiny Captain Americas, they get a bunch of tow-headed, asthmatic, allergic, immuno-compromised little Steves.

And then the Winter Soldier stumbles across Hydra's failed experiment...

With Six You Get Eggroll by speranza

31,000 words | due South, Fraser/Kowalski

"Kick 'em In The Head: A Guide To Parenting."

ETA: Bonus! Because I apparently lost my bookmark for this one but have the memory of an elephant for kidfic, so it came to me eventually. :D

A Farm in Iowa 'Verse by sheafrotherdon

166,000 words | SGA, McKay/Sheppard

John inherits a farm, Rodney ends up entirely out of his element, and there is much ado about baseball.

#kidfic #recs

71 notes · View notes

noonmutter · 4 years ago

Note

Kinky Questions, Go!! ALL 50! At least the ones you haven't gotten yet.

*knucklecrack*

1: Kitchen Counter, Couch, or on top of the dryer?

"Yes. If I gotta pick one, couch. Th' dryer's noisy an' I like bein' able t' hear th' other person.

2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or Bad and why:

Answered here!

3: A fictional person that you think would be good in bed:

(I actually don't know any ingame fiction to draw an answer from here, sorry. <.<)

4: Something that never fails to make you horny:

"Pullin' me int' you. Up, down, chest-t'-chest, back-t'-chest, whatever. Not often I get manhandled, y'ken?"

5: Where is one place you would never have sex:

"I mean, never say never, but somewhere it'd take some real convincin' t'get me t' do it? Th' meetin' space at th' center o' th' Dreamgrove. I'd sooner set my 'air on fire than fuck where th' statue o' Malorne might watch me, an' Remulos would not approve."

(Rest below the cut! Yes I did do all of them!)

6: The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when:

"...Wakin' up in a pile o' people after an especially long bender, none of 'om I recognized, an' not one stitch o' clothin' anywhere in sight except fer a gnome-sized miniskirt. An' there were no gnomes in th' pile! "Days like tha' are why I don't fuck drunk anymore."

7: Weirdest thing that ever made you horny:

"Tenderizin' steak." Sigh. "Pretty sure it was th' smell o' th' raw meat, mostly.

8: What is the best way to sexually bind someone: Handcuffs, Rope, or Other [if other please explain]:

"With my bare 'ands, or with my teeth 'oldin' somethin' sensitive. Wolf's snout kin fit all th' way 'round most people's throats without actually bitin' down as long as I get th' canines all th' way across, an' as long as neither of us move too terribly much, it's great fun."

9: What is the fastest way to make you horny:

"Hook a finger in my collar an' pull me t' yer eye level. Trouble is, if we're not already pretty damn close an' y' start grabbin' at my collar, I might punch y'."

10: Top or bottom?

"Switch."

11: We were about to ____________ but then ______________ [example: we were about to have sex but then his mom walked in] "We were about t' sneak off t' start our 'oneymoon but then I tripped through a portal some jackass dropped in th' middle o' th' weddin' party an' 'ad t' fly all th' way back first.

12: Is one orgasm enough? Are multiple orgasms necessary?

"Sometimes it's enough, sometimes it's a start, sometimes it's not even th' point. Really depends on th' mood at th' moment, dunnit? I like t'go as many rounds as either of us kin stand, most o' th' time, but I def'nitely find plenty o' value in just one long, slow go tha' ends when it ends.

13: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:

His expression was less jovial than for most of these questions. "Th' collar I made for Vandy."

14: Weirdest nickname a significant other has ever called you:

"Squigglebird. Long story."

15: Two things you like [or dislike] about oral sex:

"Like th' noises it makes a person make--vocally, I mean--an' th' views it gives o' th' person I'm goin' down on an' th' person tha's goin' down on my. Don't like th' taste all tha' much, really 'ate some o' th' noises yer lips an' throat make if yer a li'l overzealous."

16: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:

"Li'l inflatable toy thingie in m' backside. Felt alright fer a while, cuz I mean it wasn't like it was th' first time I'd 'ad anythin' in there, but ah... she kept goin' past my willin'ness, an' it got pretty damn uncomfortable pretty damn fast. I might be willin' t' try it again but not without a lotta thought b'fore'and, an' not with my 'ands bound.

17: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]

"Yeah." He shrugged. "Tasted like cum. Nothin' special."

18: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:

"I mean, if y'both agree to it an' y'don't fool around with anybody else, then yeah it's fine. Overwhelmin' majority o' th' time, I wrap up, even with m'wives."

19: Who was the sexiest teacher you ever had?

"...I din't 'ave any teachers I thought were sexy? My first shan'do was a 'andsome elven woman 'o could arm-wrestle a grizzly an' win, but she wasn't wha' I'd call sexy. Too gruff, too keen t' be alone."

20: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:

"Not somethin' I really think about in advance, t'be honest. Cook or no cook, food just kinda 'appens on a whim."

21: How big is too big:

"Can't get my mouth 'round it is usually a problem. Length isn't so much a concern, just means y' won't get t' bury it all th' way after a certain point unless y' want me dead."

22: One sexual thing you would never do:

"Mess with any bod'ly fluids besides cum. I tried real 'ard t'understand tha' one an' I just can't, sorry. Gross."

23: Biggest turn on:

"Depends on th' person; wha's 'ot from one is wierd comin' from another. Pickin' out of a hat? When Val'rin says somethin', then rolls 'is eyes up t' look at me an' tacks on a plaintive li'l 'Sir?' at th'end."

24: Three spots that drive you insane:

"Pretty much anywhere on m' throat, th' undersides o' my wrists, an' my 'air. Partic'larly yankin' on it. Just... don't come up an' do it outta nowhere. Like with m' collar, tha' shit'll get y' punched an' I'd argue y' prolly deserve it."

25: Worst possible time to get horny:

"Most times aren't really tha' bad, Iunno... middle of a warzone I guess?"

26: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans:

"I'm kinna suspicious of anybody 'o doesn't. Wha' kinna person doesn't love tha' kinda instant feedback? Tell me I'm doin' a good job, tell me 'ow t' do a better job, tell me just 'ow blown yer mind is by losin' track o' words, sing me a song."

27: Worst sexual idea you ever had:

"Really dunno why I thought it was a good idea t' let a blindfolded guy toss me anywhere, least of all into a bed with a solid headboard on it."

He touched the back of his head in remembered pain.

28: How much fapping is too much fapping:

"When yer chafed an' still 'aven't finished cuz yer too damned raw and desensitized t' get off, it's prolly time t' stop fer a while."

29: Best sexual complement you ever got:

Answered here!

30: Bald, landing strip, Jumanji:

"Landin' strip, ideally. I kin deal with whatever but tha's th' most convenient amount. Less potential fer mess."

31: Is it good sex if you don’t nut?

"What a bizarre question, 'course it is. Shit, sometimes tha's 'alf th' point."

32: Fill in the blank: “If they ____________, we are fuckin”

"Bite my neck 'r pin me t' a wall."

33: What your favorite part of your body:

"My 'air. It's gotten damned difficult t' take care of, but th' tradeoff's pretty worth it."

34: Favorite foreplay activities:

"Touchin'. Just... touchin'. Runnin' my fingers real light an' soft across ev'ry...single...inch...of a playmate's body. Learnin' th' curves, th' blemishes, th' scars, th' ins, th' outs, th' sensitive spots, th' ticklish bits, th' fav'rites all by touch. I kin do tha' fer hours if they'll let me."

35: Love (>,<, or =) Sex For those of us who don’t remember our math that's “greater than, less than, or equal to]

"Does not equal. Th' two kin be completely unrelated t'one another an' tha's perfec'ly fine. They kin en'hance each other when they're both involved, but they aren't incomplete without one another at all."

36: What do you wear to bed?

"If I kin get away with it, nothin'. I run 'ot these days, it's real easy t' overheat if I wear stuff t' sleep.

37: When was the first time you masturbated:

"Gods, Iunno. Thirteen? Fifteen? Somewhere in there."

38: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?

"Not tha' I keep fer very long. I make 'em an' send 'em t' people tha' I made 'em for, then I get rid of 'em cuz I don't wanna watch m'self wankin' or whatever."

39: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?

"So many times, gods alive. Last time was a few days ago, if y' count th' back acres on our property as outside enough."

40: Have/would you ever have sex outside?

Leon just kinda snorted. (See previous answer!)

41: Have/would you ever had a threesome?

"Sev'ral times, an' I would 'appily do so again with th' right people. Fun, but occasionally tricky t' figger out."

42: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?

"Most o' th' time I'm very borin' an' just stick t' my 'and an' maybe a dildo, but I got one o' those vibratin' sleeve thingers not too long ago tha' I've been meanin' t' try out..."

43: Have/would you ever masturbate at work/school?

"No, an' maybe. If I were still workin' in a kitchen where other people 'ad t' work an' there's food ev'rywhere, it'd be an absolutely not. I work in a private workshop by th' 'ouse now, so I kin get away with it more, long as 'm careful. Thus far I 'aven't been so tempted tha' I couldn't make it back in th' house first, though."

44: Have/would you ever have sex on a plane?

"Never been in one, be willin' t' try. I've 'eard 'ow tiny those bathrooms are."

45: What is one song you’d like to have sex to?

"...gonna 'ave t' ask me that'un again in a few months when I know more songs, sorry."

46: What is something nonsexual that makes you horny?

Answered here!

47: Most attractive celebrity?

"Do th' Tarts count as celebrities? I'm not even gonna try t' pick one, but tha's all I got."

48: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?

"Not a big porn-watcher in gen'ral, my life feels like a goddamned romance novel as it is. Not often I need more'n a couple o' particularly fond mem'ries."

49: If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be right now?

"Four days."

50: Has anyone ever posted nude pictures of you online?

(Hard to answer this one since the internet at large isn't really a thing in WoW, at least not in a widely-accepted enough way for me to answer it...)

51: What is one thing that NEVER makes you horny?

"Put-downs. Don't call me slut or boy or bitch--gods, especially not bitch--or th' like if y'want me t' go 'ome with y'."

52: Do you have stretch marks? (How do you feel about them? Has anyone ever had a problem with them?)

"Not tha' I've seen."

53: Do you like giving head? (why/why not)

"Like givin' it cuz it makes m' playmate feel real nice, don't like th' flavor s' much."

54: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?

"Doesn't make a dif'rence t' me, aside from most tattoos bein' pretty."

55: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?

"Done it, though I'm not a fan o' th' phrasin'. They put some trust in me, I din't take anythin'."

56: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?

"Nothin' spicy. Period. Just don't. It's not worth it."

57: Is there anything you do on Tumblr that you would not like your significant other to see?

(Another one that doesn't really have an answer in this context.)

58: Do you own any sex toys? (what is it? (how long have you had it?)

Leon burst out laughing and pointed at the full-size steamer trunk at the foot of his bed. "Tha's not even close t' all of it, either. Gods alive, wha' a question t' ask me!"

59: Would you give your significant other unrestricted access to your Tumblr for a day?

"Wouldn't give 'em unrestricted access t' anythin' private o' mine fer a day. If it's tha' private t' begin with, it's cuz it's my safe 'aven, an' they respect tha', same as I do their private stuff."

60: Would you be offended if your significant other suggested you get plastic surgery?

"A li'l bit if it came outta nowhere, but I've talked a fair bit about wishin' I could get rid o' some o' my scars. It's not somethin' I wouldn't consider tryin'."

61: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?

"Pretty 'appy doin' th' latter as it is. Don't think I'd wanna try th' recorded stuff, it seems like it'd be really awkward t' do tha' fer a cam'ra crew an' with somebody 'o ain't really enjoyin' it."

62: Do you watch porn?

"Not really. Most of it's not int'restin' t' me."

63: How small is too small?

"'Too small' is 'ard fer me t' quantify. I 'aven't found anythin' too small fer me t' work with some'ow."

64: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?

Bit of a flat look. "Worgen."

65: Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything?

"Me an' th' guy 'o fucked me on th' fence out back shared quite a few kisses b'fore, durin', an' after. Mostly they meant 'fuck yer hot.'"

66: Would you switch phones with your significant other for a day?

"I mean, I could. Nothin' on there I wouldn't want any of 'em t' see. Be a bit inconvenient though."

67: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”?

"Frankly I'm more comfortable tha' way than otherwise. Spent too long with a big ol' poof o' fur around m' crotch t' be comfy with most undies. Same reason I'm not overly fond o' shoes either."

68: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair?

"Purely in a logistical sense, yeah. I kin still go t' town an' do thin's right, but it's... sloppy. Those 'airs seem t' WANT t' get in yer mouth, an' all tha', an' it's just so much messier overall."

69: If you could give yourself head, would you?

"'O says I can't?"

70: Booty or Boobs?

"I am very much an ass man."

71: If you had a penis, what would you name it?

"I do, but I didn't. Namin' it seems strange."

72: Have you ever been on an official date?

"Sev'ral, but all of 'em only took place in th' last few years. Never when I was growin' up."

73: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)

"No, an' I never will, an' you kin quote me on tha'."

74: If you were a stripper, what would your name be?

"I 'aven't th' faintest idea 'ow tha' works."

75: Have you ever had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?)

"Nope. Never 'ad th' opportunity, an' I think I'd rather throw up on th' floor an' eat it."

76: How would you react if you found out your parents had sex in your bed?

"Sweet, I'm gettin' a new bed!"

77: What was your reaction the first time you saw a penis/vagina

"Assumin' we're not talkin' about my own bits... 'That's not gonna fit!' fer a dick, an' 'This is a lot less sexy than th'other lads made it out t'be' fer a cooch."

78: If you had a penis/vagina for a day, what are five things you would do?

Answered here!

79: Oral, Anal, or Vaginal?

"Yes."

80: What’s the first thing you look at on someone of the opposite gender?

"Their face. Also 'ow they carry themselves. But mostly their face."

( @pinpep @shckaewynn @valarin-sunstorm for mentions )

#prompty things #leon #SUCK IT RANEK

10 notes · View notes

inevitably-johnlocked · 5 years ago

Note

hi, do you have some Johnlock shower sex fics (maybe bottomlock) ? thank you,love your blogs

Anonymous said to inevitably-johnlocked: Καλημέρα (or good afternoon depending where your from😁) Would you by any chance have any fics of john and sherlock like showering together? It could be smut or not, I just think that showering with your s/o is kinda cute and they would be adorable 🥺 Thank You 🥰

Anonymous said to inevitably-johnlocked: Hey, I was wondering if you have any fluffy bath-sharing fics?

Hi Nonny!

Aww, thanks, I’m glad you enjoy my blog!

AHHHH Okay so I know I have a tonne of fics with Shower Sex, but I haven’t started retagging fics until recently with this because someone asked me AGES ago with them, LOL

SHOWERING / BATHING TOGETHER

Through A Glass by Mildredandbobbin (M, 2,012 w., 1 Ch. || Voyeurism, Masturbation, First Kiss) – There is an adjoining door in the bathroom at 221B that leads into Sherlock’s bedroom. The door, from the bathroom to Sherlock’s bedroom, is made of three glass, semi-opaque panels. It has suddenly come to Sherlock’s attention that if he stands in exactly the right spot in his bedroom he can see through said panels, and more to the point, can see John.

Bathroom Accessories by Evenlodes_Friend (E, 3,324 w., 1 Ch. || Sex Toys, Butt Plug, First Kiss / Time, Romance, Horny Sherlock, John’s Patience Wears Thin, Humour, Bottomlock) – John discovers that Sherlock has been playing with some very adult toys in the bath.

Uninhibited by 221b_hound (M, 4,293 w., 1 Ch. || Bathing/Washing, Naked Cuddling, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Big Brother Mycroft, Relationship Negotiation, Massage, Sherlock Has a Low Libido, Pet Names) – Sherlock and John have been apart for the first time since Sherlock returned from the dead. Neither of them has had a good day. John's gets worse when Mycroft comes to Baker Street in Sherlock's absence to warn John Watson against disappointing his brother by expecting things to change. Mycroft has misjudged things rather badly. But finally he sods off and leaves John and Sherlock to reconnect, to give and receive comfort, and show each other that they are, indeed, perfectly matched. Part 15 of Unkissed

Linger by queenoftrivia (E, 4,879 w., 1 Ch. || Lingerie, Fluff and Smut, BJ / HJ, Switchlock, Sherlock in Lingerie, Come Play, Dirty Talk, Anal Fingering, Anal/Oral, Implied Shower Sex, Neck Kissing) – Sherlock decides to surprise John after a somewhat stressful day at work.

What Happens in Vegas (is legally binding in the United Kingdom) by moonblossom (E, 5,051 w., 1 Ch. || Accidental Marriage, Friends to Husbands to Lovers, CSI Crossover, Fluff & Porn, Bathtub Sex, Hand Jobs, First Time) – When a case sends the boys to Vegas, John comes out of it with a bit more than he bargained for. Part 19 of Prompt Fills, Remixes, Works inspired by others

The Bathing Habits of Dr. John H. Watson by scullyseviltwin (T, 5,077 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Happy Endings, Domestics, Baths, Slice of Life Snippets) – The knocks come crisply—three raps and then a long span of quiet. Slumping down further, John makes every effort to ignore the intrusion and relaxes as best he can in the less-than-ideal space available. If he doesn’t move, maybe he’ll be left in peace. There’s a brief respite of silence and then, again, three more raps on the door, in faster succession this time, followed by, “John, it’s been an hour, how can you possibly—” “We agreed two, two hours.” There’s no room for argument; John’s tone makes that very clear.It sounds as though Sherlock’s mouth is pressed right to the door when he next speaks. “What if I need the toilet!?”

Just Like That by sussexbound (E, 8,442 w., 1 Ch. || First Time/Kiss, Frottage, Virgin Sherlock, French Kissing, Anal, Emotional Lovemaking, Enthusiastic Consent, Tenderness, Crying John, Bathing/Washing, Insecure John, Toplock) – John doesn’t want to talk anymore. He wants. Oh dear god, how he wants. For the first time in what feels like years he WANTS.

Johnlock Ficlet Collection by Irrevocably_Sherlocked (E, 11,505+ w., 16/? Ch. [WiP] | Random Ficlets, Pining, Angst, Fluff & Smut, Parentlock, AU’s, First Kiss, Character POV’s) - Just a collection of Johnlock ficlets, originally posted on my Tumblr page.

I'll Meet You in Hong Kong by alexxphoenix42 (E, 12,767 w., 5 Ch. || Freebatch RPF || Phone / Shower Sex, Infidelity, Polyamory, Bit of Angst, Cuddles) – Benedict and Martin's busy, busy schedules have them grabbing a few nights together in Hong Kong during Ben's Doctor Strange junket. They both have news to share. While this does pick up after the story "Forever 1895," you don't absolutely have to read that one to dive on in here. Part 2 of Forever Freebatch

A Hundred Thousand Ways to Say the Name John by Jberry (E, 16,825 w., 1 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Fake Marriage, POV John, Pining John, Cruise Ship, Angst & Fluff, Case Fic) – John Watson and Sherlock Holmes must solve a case on a cruise ship. To get close to the crew and passengers, they must get married for the case on the Baetica. However, their relationship hits rocky seas both due to the case and internal conflicts. Part 1 of Baetica

John Watson doesn't have a Boyfriend by naughtyspirit (E, 18,932 w., 7 Ch. || UST / URT, Fluff & Smut, Voyeurism, Masturbation) – John's date has gone very well. Sherlock requires tea. John wishes he hadn't resolved that their relationship was strictly hands off and isn't about to address it. Unless he has to. Smut, fluff and shower time for a naked John Watson.

Through the Clouds by Mazarin221b (E, 20,004 w., 6 Ch. || Retirement, Sussex, Bees, Home Improvement, First Time, Romance) – Sherlock takes a remarkably early retirement at 47, and convinces John that a change of pace would do them both good. They buy an old cottage on the South Downs, and exchange their nonstop life in Baker Street for quiet contemplation, bee studies, and book writing. They might go completely insane, but sometimes it takes stepping outside of the life you're living to find the life you want. Part 1 of Through The Clouds

The Whore of Babylon Was a Perfectly Nice Girl by out_there (E, 32,897 w., 1 Ch. || Past Drug Use, Blowjobs, Toplock, Mentions of Switching, Rough Sex, Background Cases, Sherlock’s Past, Sherlock’s Sexual History, Experienced Sherlock, Past One Night Stands, Fingering, Cuddling, Possessive Sherlock, Paris Holiday, Bed Sharing, Naked Lie-Ins, Bathing Together, Confessions, Worried Sherlock, Laying in Bed All Day, Meddling Mycroft, Naked Lazy Day) – Sherlock walks into a room and takes all the space right out of it. He does the same inside John's head.

Right Hand Man by SilentAuror (E, 42,031 w., 4 Ch. || H/C, Injury, Slow Burn) – When John's left arm becomes paralysed after a car accident, Mary asks Sherlock to take him back to Baker Street to recuperate, as she's about to give birth. Despite the fact that the search for Moriarty is ongoing, Sherlock takes John in and takes responsibility for overseeing his rehabilitation as he adjusts to the loss of his arm.

The Case of the Vanishing Pants by SwissMiss (E, 44,025 w., 6 Ch. || Five and Ones, Post-TRF, Case Fic, UST, Homophobia, Friends to Lovers, Pining John, Showering Together, Couple for a Case, Sherlock’s Bum, Fantasies, Jealous Sherlock) – Five times John and Sherlock lost their pants in the course of a case.

The Real Great Perfumers by shelleysprometheus (E, 45,355 w., 68 Ch. || Case Fic, Alternating POV, Gay Sherlock / Bi John, Canon Compliant with Divergence at TRF, Friends to Lovers, Oral / Anal, Pining, First Kiss / Time, Dev. Rel., Drugging, Body Worship, Bathing, Love Confessions, Travelling, Bottomlock, Cranky Sherlock, BJ’s, Alternating POV, Jealous John) – The case, this case. This extraordinary, fascinating, scintillating case. A house. Designed entirely by its eccentric owner, built by no less than five hundred expert tradesmen in the heart of Marrakesh. A house that had, seemingly not only driven its owner out, but also to his quite unpleasant death. And a perfumer, a chemist no less, the very thought of the secrets that house could reveal, would reveal was irresistible. Sherlock had to have this case ... and it seems, he also had to have John! Part 1 of the Forethought and Fire series

Guilty Secrets by Ellipsical (E, 55,086 w., 16 Ch. || Drumsticks, First Kiss/Time, Love Confession, Self-Sexual-Discovery, Anal, Rimming, Orgasim Denial, Butt Plugs, Cooking, Furniture Sex, Bath Sex, Rimming, Double Penetration, Prostate Massage, Anal Beads, Dancing, Romance, Tantric Edging, Internalized Homophobia, Case as Foreplay) – John has a prostate exam and discovers something surprising about himself. Experimentation follows. Sherlock wants to help. They're in love. You know the drill.

The Moonlight and the Frost by CaitlinFairchild (E, 77,289 w., 10 Ch. || Case Fic, Post-HLV, Self Harm, Virgin Sherlock, First Time, Oral/Anal/Rimming, Romance, Angst, Mary is Not Nice) – John has to somehow rebuild his life in the wake of Mary's betrayal and Sherlock's deceptions.

Not Broken, Just Bent by Schmiezi (E, 87,585 w., 43 Ch. || Pining, Love Confessions, Rape/Sexual Assault, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Villain!Mary, Suicidal Ideations, Main Character Death, Sherlock First Person POV, Parentlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Love Making, Possessiveness, Depression, PTSD, Kidnapping, Virgin Sherlock, Eventual Happy Ending) – "For a second, I allow myself to remember teaching John how to waltz. There is a special room in my mind palace for it. A big one, with a proper parquet dance floor. For a second, I go there. I remember holding him, closer than the World Dance Council asks for, excusing it with the fact that we are training for a wedding, not for a competition. For a second, I feel his hand on mine again, smell his sweat, hear the song we used. For a second, I allow myself to love him deeply. For a second, only a second, that love reflects on my face." Fix-it for S3, starting at the end of TSoT. Evil Mary.

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU || BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

The Wedding Garments by cwb (E, 105,390 w., 36 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Alternate Future AU || Alternate First Meeting, Dating / Arranged Marriages, Romance, First Kiss/Time, Heavy Petting, Cuddles, POV Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn / Falling in Love / Dev. Rel., Nervous/Anxious Sherlock, Jealous/Cranky, Hiking, Vacation Homes / Honeymoon, Sherlock’s Family, Horny John/Sherlock, Patient John, Massages, Hand Jobs, Assassination Plots, Hand Jobs / Oral Sex, Case Fic, Emotional Love Making, Bath Time Fun) – This is the story of a young consulting detective who wants nothing to do with marriage and an army doctor who wants to find true love. It's 2020 post-Brexit England and the British government is encouraging arranged marriages. Candidates meet through state-run agencies and date in hopes of finding love (and tax benefits). Sherlock doesn't need or want a spouse, at least not until John Watson shows up. Hesitant to give in to his more carnal urges because of the way they derail his mind, how will Sherlock progress toward the more intimate aspects of a relationship? The answer lies in a very special wedding gift.

Two Two One Bravo Baker by abundantlyqueer (E, 114,574 w., 27 Ch. || Military AU || Afghanistan, War Story, Thriller, Switchlock, Rimming, Emotional Lovemaking, Lots of Sex, HJ/BJ’s) – Captain John Watson of 40 Commando, the Royal Marines, is assigned to protect and assist Sherlock Holmes as he investigates what appears to be a simple war atrocity in Afghanistan. An intense attraction ignites between the two men as they uncover a conspiracy that threatens everything they’ve ever known, but Sherlock is as much hunted as hunter, and everyone close to him is in deadly danger. Can he solve the case in time to save himself and John? Part 1 of Two Two One Bravo Baker Universe

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #showering #bathing #my fic recs #Anonymous

204 notes · View notes

c-c-cherry · 5 years ago

Text

Bucci Gang Headcanons!!!

I’m not really one to usually post this kind of stuff, but these are some lil headcanons my pal @jjadegreen and I have come up with while stuck in the same house during the quarantine!!

These literally range from *probably would happen* to *fucking crack* so y’all have been warned...

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

Giorno is one of those people that has a secret sweet-tooth. Like. An insane one where if he actually decides to indulge in it he cannot fucking stop.

When he does go overboard, it’s usually because Bruno got his favourite ice cream flavour from the store and it’s always at some ungodly hour of the night.

He usually blames it on Mista somehow. Accidentally ate the entire tub of ice cream at 3am? No biggie. Just put the spoon on Mista’s bedside table while he’s asleep!

Everyone blames Mista for it EVERY TIME and now he’s not allowed to eat any ice cream when they buy it. Mista thinks it’s the Sex Pistols because he swears he doesn’t remember doing it.

Giorno just sits there like *sweats* “yeah uh no it had to be Mista, right? There’s definitely no one else it could be, right? Right??”

One time Abbacchio caught him in the act at like 4am and they have yet to bring it up.

He would spill Giorno’s big secret, but he really likes to see Mista suffer.

Narancia wears skirts sometimes and it’s not a big deal. He vibes, they all just vibe. No toxic masculinity here.

Narancia is genuinely afraid of those “IF YOU DO NOT SEND TO 10 PEOPLE THIS WILL APPEAR AT THE END OF YOUR BED AT 3AM” emails.

One time he couldn’t do it because Bruno took his phone away and he sat in bed all night fucking trembling in fear of what chain mail monster would eat his face off this time.

Abbacchio hates geese. No one knows why. Not even Bruno.

Narancia’s real stand name IS Aerosmith, but he’s dead set on calling it Lil’ Bomber because “that’s his rapper name.”

Mista is lactose intolerant but he doesn’t know because he just thinks it’s normal to feel excruciating pain when you eat ice cream.

“Like how pineapples hurt your mouth when you eat them.” -Mista probably

Bruno literally had to take him to the hospital one night because he inhaled too much ice cream and would not stop throwing up and Mista was like “wait this doesn’t happen to you??”

Trish hates butterflies because *fun fact!* butterflies often feed on not only nectar and fruit, but DECAYING CORPSES of animals!

When she was a kid, she was walking in some alleyway and ran into a dead animal covered in butterflies. One landed on her arm and she fucking screamed. She will never look at them the same ever again...

Giorno loves to make things into butterflies when they all spend time together, and Trish literally has to suppress a shudder every time one goes near her.

Fugo is one of those people that is basically not afraid of anything, but when a fucking bee comes near him he will LOSE IT. He’s one of those people that will have to get up and run away from a bee when it flies near him.

If you tell him that it will leave him alone if he stops moving, he will punch you.

Giorno likes to make shit into bees sometimes just to fuck with him

Bruno does not like dogs. It probably stems from some childhood experience that went sour, but he does not care. He will be stone-faced during any mission or situation, but if a dog tries to jump up and greet him he will freak. The fuck. Out.

One time Narancia and Mista brought home a dog from the streets and mama Bruno was like “NOPE” and zipped himself out of existence.

Abbacchio found him locked in the closet under the stairs when he got home and made them get rid of it.

Leone was more of a cat person anyway.

Abbacchio eats raw pasta.

Fugo plays chess with himself. When Giorno joins the team he’s like “ugh finally an intellectual” but Giorno has literally never seen a fucking chess board in his life and is too scared to tell Fugo so he just keeps making up excuses as to why he doesn’t “have time” to play chess with him today.

Mista doesn’t shower but he has a BOMB-ass face-care routine. Even Trish is jealous. His face? Baby soft? Ten out of ten. The rest of him? Axe body spray out of ten.

Narancia went through a goth phase pre-canon. Abbacchio was not happy because Bruno kept referring to him as “little Abba” but he let Narancia use his good lipstick anyway.

Mista found his special hat in a street gutter on a rainy day and it matched his sweater so he decided to just keep it. Abbacchio does Trish’s makeup. They go to Sephora together. I don’t make the rules.

Giorno never really told anyone (besides Bruno) that he got his stand naturally so they all assume he got it from Polpo’s lighter and when he mentioned something off-hand about “when I was a kid Gold and I…” everyone’s just like “bitch hold up-”

Abbacchio wears coloured contacts and his ass literally cannot see without them.

Yes they are expensive as fuck. He blows half his pay-check on them every month.

One time he lost them right before a mission so he had to pull out his heavy prescription glasses from like 8th grade. They literally looked like this.

I think you can imagine the outcome

Growing up, Giorno only listened to three songs.

The only reason he had access to these songs was because he found a really old Walkman on the side of the road when he was wandering around once. The tape only had three songs on it; Dancing Queen, It's Raining Men, and some song by Mozart. These were the three songs of Giorno’s childhood.

He still has it and likes to listen to the tape when he gets sad

Narancia doesn’t know what a period is. Neither does Mista.

Bruno forces everyone into the living room after overhearing this and makes them all watch one of those really awkward sex-ed videos from the 90s (you know the ones)

It was one of the worst days of their lives

They still have the tape and Narancia sometimes slips it in the VHS player when they all least expect it just to fuck with everyone

Bruno once held a capo meeting at their house (biggest mistake of his life) and all you could heard blasting through the walls of the other room was “YoUr bOdy MiGht Be gOiNg tHrOuGh sOmE cHaNgEs, fOr eXaMpLe yOuR P-”

On that note, Giorno was definitely that one kid who took notes during Sex-Ed

Abbacchio listens to Avril Lavigne

Giorno shaves his arms. It kind of started by accident but now he literally cannot stop or else his arms will look completely fucked up

Bruno has sensitive teeth. He can’t drink water that’s too cold cause it hurts his mouth. Abbacchio makes him tea :)

Fugo plays piano to help him with his anger. He would say that he plays saxophone too, but it’s more like violently screeching into the mouthpiece instead of actually playing it.

Narancia thinks that lesbian is a nationality

Even though Giorno lived in Japan for just a couple years, he’s still pretty fluent in the language because his mother would only speak Japanese to him growing up

The gang has no idea that Giorno is Japanese and when a foreigner is struggling Giorno just swoops in with perfect Japanese and they’re all just really confused.

Giorno doesn’t cry during movies or TV shows, but he’s one of those people who fucking BAWLS during video game credits

Mista and Narancia beat Ocarina of Time together and Giorno was watching from the sidelines and AS SOON as the credits started rolling there were tears.

When KK Slider starts to sing in Animal Crossing New Horizons and your character is brought into a music void and the credits start rolling he tears up just a little bit

Mista is squeamish around dead bugs. Not live ones. Dead ones and solely dead ones

Mista and Trish go thrifting. Mista goes to check the pockets of clothes for spare cash (cause he’s a broke bitch) and Trish goes to buy clothes

Everyone thinks that Mista doesn’t change his clothes but he actually just buys like 7 of the same outfit

Mista sneezes like a white sports dad. You know the sneeze.

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

Bonus Bruabba shit because Jade and I always go fucking HARD when talking about our local mafia dads:

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

Bruno ties up the little strings on Abbacchio’s tiddy shirt every morning.

They got promise rings. Leone’s trying to find a nice time to actually propose but the gang keeps fucking it up every time they try to go on a nice date together

Bruno and Leone watch thunderstorms together

-The rest of the bucci gang stay inside and play monopoly or something when’s its stormy but these two bring out blankets and sit on the front porch and just be all soft and shit watching the lightning light up the sky and listening to the rain on the roof above them.

Bucciarati and Abbacchio have been mistaken as the following:

Bruno as a woman and Abbacchio as a man. Abbacchio as a woman and Bruno as a man. Two lesbians. But never an actual gay couple.

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

Yeah so I have no idea what that was. These were taken from a google doc we have together that’s just all these jumbled, crack-filled headcanons just for fun. I’m sure you can sense the pure chaos in this.

Go give my dude @jjadegreen a hello, sis made most of these!

uhhh let us know if you want any more from any other parts. Cause y’all know we probably got some. <3

#jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure #headcanons #headcanon #crack #jojo's bizzare adventure golden wind #bucci gang #bruabba

225 notes · View notes

arsenicpanda · 4 years ago

Note

Trying to distract you from the elephants and hippopotami (hippopotamuses?) living above you: If you could write S5, what are the major highlights you’d focus on?

An excellent question! So, I’m going to pick some of the speculation/leaks we have and toss the others and kind of guess/go from there. Also, this gets long, like 1.9k words long, so be ready.

- Main Mystery: After the success of Jughead’s novel and the reunited Josie and the Pussycats, Riverdale has become something of a novelty, part curiosity, part tourist trap. But, this season, tourists and Riverdale residents are starting to go missing. Some come back, some don’t, and those who do come back have wild stories to tell about, idk, Mothman or something, we’ll run with that leak. But they also have a weird drug in their system. At least one of the people who disappeared was a government person with top secret knowledge. Idk exactly what’s happening, but Penny Peabody and perhaps Penelope will be involved. Maybe they’re using people as lab rats? Idk, it’s unclear. Everyone will have a piece of the mystery, even if Betty and Jughead are the ones to put it all together.

- Archie: Archie is, in fact coming home from the army, but instead of Not-Boyfriend #3, he’s coming home with Reggie, who also joined the army. Reggie’s dad is dead and has left him the car dealership, while Archie wants to Do Something For The Community In Honor Of His Dad again (also, everyone knows he’d be a shitty car salesman). Maybe we keep the firefighter thing though, idk. What’s important is that he and Reggie are living together in the Andrews house and, yes, we will get Archie’s gay awakening that we all deserve. This is 100% a ship we will explore starting somewhere in 5a. Archie is concerned about the disappearances and knows people being affected by it, same for Reggie.

- Veronica: Veronica went to business school and did business stuff with something new while being distantly involved in Le Bonne Nuit (Pop’s, however, she mainly handed back to Pop, although she does still do something accounting shit for it or something). However, she also started doing some shady shit (not sure what, I know jack all about this, I’d delegate this decision) and almost lost her business/went to jail/got sued/etc. Now she’s back in Riverdale to try to return to her roots with Le Bonne Nuit and being a Legitimate Business Woman. She married a dude who is reminiscent of her mother, kind of a business partner but also a Lady Macbeth type. The marriage is shaky at best because Veronica kind of forced herself into it, thinking that dating a non-himbo might make her happy after Archie (spoiler: it hasn’t). They will have their own apartment in the Pembrooke, and, yes, Veronica will have an office somewhere with the rediscovered painting of herself behind the desk ala Hiram because I deserve to see it. She’ll probably take it down at some point, but it will definitely be up for a while. She’ll have a rival business person (Elio?) who is both somehow involved in the disappearances, and Veronica’s husband will be revealed to have been working with him at some point.

- Veronica/Archie/Reggie: This is our endgame pairing because I deserve it. Veronica will get close to her himbos again, with Archie bringing out her better nature and Reggie bringing out her better business angles. Veronica gets brought into the Archie/Reggie relationship in 5b slowly, might all get together only toward or at the very end of the season. I’d work out specifics later though.

Now, I’m of two minds about Betty and Jughead. I could break them up like the show will or I could keep them together because I do what I want. I’m going to present both cases:

Scenario 1: They stay together

- Betty: Betty is an FBI agent, but she’s also chafing at the restrictions placed on her. She keeps getting in trouble for going about things in a shady way (like, say, ignoring the need for a warrant), and she’s getting frustrated by all the red tape. Currently, she’s being sent to Riverdale because of all the disappearances (particularly the government person) and because, well, she’s from there, she knows it. She has a partner who she doesn’t get along with. She and Jughead made it through long distance at college and post-grad, and they live together...idk, somewhere. She will somehow reconcile with Veronica, unclear how. May or may not quit the FBI to be a PI with Jughead at the end of the season. Definitely fucks up Penny’s shit at one point.

- Jughead: Jughead is a published author and a PI who Betty sometimes uses as a way around red tape and advocates as a consultant; they both love this. His first novel about Riverdale secured Riverdale’s place as That Weird Murder Town Where Shit Goes Down and turned it into a tourist trap; he hates this. He’s on his...idk, third novel, with his second having done less well than his first. He’s having trouble writing, so he goes back to Riverdale with Betty, hoping that returning to the town that first fueled his writing will help him with his writer’s block. Jughead gets sucked into the spooky part of the mystery, going off on wild tangents while Betty pursues legitimate avenues. 100% does not have a drinking problem.

Scenario 2: Betty and Jughead break up (either post 4x17 reveal or due to long distance troubles)

- Betty: A lot is the same here. She’s an FBI agent chafing at the restrictions placed on her and frustrated by red tape; she gets in trouble a lot for going about things shadily in her usual way. She’s being sent to Riverdale as a Riverdale expert to investigate the disappearances in general but, more specifically, that government person who went to Riverdale on vacation. (There may or may not be a more suspicious reason for the government person’s visit.) She is either a single career woman with a partner she doesn’t get along with or she is having an affair with her partner that is falling apart. While in Riverdale, she’s staying either in an apartment, a motel, or her house, depending. She will somehow reconcile with Veronica, unclear how. May or may not quit the FBI to be a PI at the end of the season. Again, definitely fucks up Penny’s shit at one point.

- Jughead: Jughead is still a novelist upset about the effect his breakout novel had on Riverdale. He is also an investigative journalist who’s been sent to Riverdale to investigate this shit OR a PI who can afford to take a vacation in Riverdale, and he’s happy to do it because it might help him with his writer’s block. He has a live-in girlfriend back wherever he lives, and their already dying relationship is going to break with the added long distance difficulties. He’s going to go after the weirder aspects of the disappearances because he thinks that’s where Riverdale’s answers always are. While in Riverdale, he’s staying with Cheryl and Toni. He will definitely reunite with the Serpents, and probably have some friendship moments with Archie as well. 100% does not have a drinking problem.

- Bughead: They will keep ending up at the same places while investigating and slowly slip back into their old routine and habits. They’ll have a murderboard in the bunker where they meet up away from the eyes of the FBI (Cheryl and Toni draw the line at murderboards in their house), and there will be a lot of pining and sexual tension. They will have at least one heartfelt conversation about why things didn’t work out, one instance where they have to make out to try and seem harmless after being discovered somewhere they shouldn’t be, and one heated encounter (maybe sex, maybe just making out) after being in a lot of danger. If Betty is dating her partner, he’s revealed to be a shady fucker after she breaks up with him like three episodes in. Jughead and his girlfriend have a conversation over the phone where they’re both tryin to break up with the other; it’s quite comical. Betty and Jughead are reunited by the end of 5a (episode nine at the latest) and spend the rest of the season rebuilding their relationship. The season may or may not end with Jughead proposing, possibly with a ring he bought for Betty previously but never had the heart to get rid of after the break up, possibly impulsively with one of the rings he always wears, possibly just with a new ring.

- Kevin and Fangs: Kevin is a drama teacher at Riverdale High, and Fangs does...idk, something, maybe he’s also a teacher, maybe he’s a /bein some field who can work from anywhere, maybe something else. They live together, a little off/on, but in a way that suits them and always ends in on. Kevin is concerned about some of his students who’ve gone missing. Fangs is either in the same position as Kevin or he has an employer who’s being shady.

- Cheryl and Toni: Cheryl and Toni both went to Highsmith College. Cheryl runs the Blossom maple business well and maybe something else, and Toni is a successful photographer. As for the twins, Polly recovered and is now raising them somewhere other than this helltown. They’re back in town for Cheryl’s business purposes, although they mainly live...idk, somewhere else. Either other Blossoms are secretly pulling some shit, Penelope has resurfaced, or Cheryl has a business partner who’s doing something shady. Toni sees some shit while taking photographs of Riverdale. Toni should get a storyline/be involved in the main plot, but I’m not sure what. Maybe she’ll investigate with Betty and Jughead sometimes? She definitely has a lot of interactions with Jughead, Fangs, and Sweet Pea though.

- Sweet Pea: Apparently is here? Maybe lives with Kevin and Fangs? Works...idk, somewhere? Possibly went to community college, maybe works at the hospital as a doctor or nurse or lab tech or something? Maybe is the sheriff? Unclear, but has seen some shit one way or the other. I know he’s not a series regular, but we bothered to bring him back apparently, he has to do something.

- Southside Serpents: Might not even be around? Maybe they disbanded at some point? Maybe there’s a new version of them that’s being shady? Maybe we don’t mention them at all? Unclear.- Alice: Is still here, apparently, living in Gladys’s house. No longer with FP, who has gone...idk, somewhere, maybe lives with Gladys? Alternately, Gladys comes back to live in her house and sparks fly between her and Alice. Probably is being nosy.

- Hiram and Hermione: Doing some shady shit, undoubtedly, may or may not be shady shit related to the plot, possible red herrings. It’s kind of one last hurrah for Hiram because we’re finishing up Veronica’s parallels with him this season. We might get Hiram v Betty at last, though, but then that might be best saved for season 6. Definitely a mirror for Veronica’s relationship though.

And I think that’s everyone? I wrote out Tabitha because we know nothing about her so I have no idea what to do with her. I didn’t break up choni because it really isn’t worth the hassle of breaking up and then getting back together three relationships. I have no idea what the musical episode would be. And I didn’t bother to hash out the plot because I’m not crazy enough to lay out a proper Riverdale plot, but I assure you a bunch of crazy shit goes down and at least one 90s teen/college icon shows up.

#asks #soyforramen #Riverdale #Riverdale speculation #this was such fun thank you for asking!#my thoughts on Riverdale let me show you them #so many thoughts this time

29 notes · View notes

hnybnny · 4 years ago

Text

properly introducing my main fanservants!!!

LOTS OF PHOTOS/ART AND SUCH UNDER THE CUT BUT LIKE,,,, THIS IS JUST. A QUICK INTRODUCTION. TO MY PRIMARY SERVANT BASTARD CHILDREN- (in order of appearance; Sebastian Moran, John Watson, Enola Holmes, Columbia, Thomas Edison (True), Nicolas Flamel, Captain Stormalong, Edgar Allan Poe)

Feel free to hop in my ask box if you wanna talk about them or have any questions!!! Thank you for reading ily-

Colonel Sebastian Moran (Assassin)

My primary servant OC by far! Professor James Moriarty’s chief-of-staff and right hand man- the second most dangerous man in London, after the Napoleon of Crime himself. Nicknamed ‘Basher’ or ‘Tiger Jack’, among others..

Moran is- or was- the most skilled marksman in the British Army, before he was dishonorably discharged. There are only a handful of men on the face of the continent able to shoot as well as he. As well as being an unnaturally skilled shot, he is a devoted sportsman and big-game hunter, and has notoriously tangled with tigers by himself in India- a predator that rather aptly describes the man himself. He authored two books, and his feats are still legendary in India, where his record 'bag of tigers' still goes unmatched. Although his outwards appearance was that of a respectable London gentleman and honorable military veteran, he gained a reputation in the evil underworld and was recruited by James Moriarty, serving as his 'chief of staff' of his criminal empire as well as his personal assassin for jobs that required his peculiar skill with a rifle.

The man is, as one Chaldean staff member puts it, a 'stone-cold badass'. He has a nerve of iron, and is vehemently loyal to both Professor Moriarty and his Master. He lives for danger, and the thrill that comes with 'kill or be killed' situations. Moran is also extremely easy and obvious to read- smiling 'like an idiot' when happy, and 'frowning like thunder' when angry. He does rather enjoy killing people, and is overall a man of few morals (although still having more than the Professor)- which, paired together, is what led to his leave from the military as he's practically a walking example of the 'Colonel Kilgore' trope. The more challenging the kill, the more enjoyment he gets out of it. As a strange upside, Moran has no illusions of how he's a right bastard.

"Ask anyone who knew me in the army, and you'll hear the same things about Basher: tiger in the field, bounder in the mess; a good man to have your back, but a bad man to show your back to; trust him with a fight, but not your sister, your wallet, or a deck of cards."

His Noble Phantasm, which represents his unmatched skill with a rifle, is called BEBR DER KHANH KHALI - Persian for ‘the tiger in the empty house’.

The bullet shot is, unlike others, a specially-made expanding revolver bullet which makes Moran unable to be likely linked to the kill. Much like a ghost or a tiger stalking its prey, he is completely silent in his attack, and the target can never see him coming before they're already dead- and just as quickly he is gone, seemingly disappearing into thin air without a trace.

No matter the conditions or distance, as long as Moran can see his target in some way- whether by the naked eye or through his scope, or perhaps in some other manner- his shot is guaranteed to hit its mark with deadly accuracy.

Also, if you find him not wearing his coat, it’s probably because he gave it to Jack. He loves knife child. They deserve proper clothes.

(source: amon-sheep on twitter)

(source: manalmmune on twitter)

[[LINK TO HIS CHAPTER IN MY FANSERVANT FIC]]

Doctor John Watson (Caster)

The famed Boswell and best friend of the great detective himself. Aman who is most like his traditional origin, as opposed to the heavyset comedic figure modern media tends to make him out to be- aka the Watson that is described by Doyle as a former rugby player, an army man, and popular among the fairer sex due to his handsomeness, intelligence, and charm.

He quickly becomes a proper ‘fatherly’ figure in Chaldea and especially to Master, due to his big dad energies, despite never having the chance to be a father in his life. Chaldea also appreciates finally having a proper doctor that isn’t a Berserker or... whatever’s going on with Ascelpius. Watson is Holmes’s life compass, the loyal companion always by his side who balances the detective out.

Although he’s a caster, he also wields his trusty wartime revolver, and is curious in that, unlike most casters, he has one offensive Noble Phantasm- it’s his secondary, and his primary ‘Conductor of Light’ crystallizes Watson's role as a 'whetstone' for Sherlock Holmes's mind and unmatched stimulator of his famous flatmate's genius. As Holmes himself summarizes, “It may be that you are not yourself luminous, but that you are a conductor of light. Some people without possessing genius have a remarkable power of stimulating it.” This Noble Phantasm is purely supportive, serving to bring out the absolute best in an ally- whether it be manifested in power, magic, or inspiration- and temporarily unlocking a vast wealth of potential that they might not have even known they had. The exact limitations or bounds of it is not known, as it can seemingly extend in purpose as far as Watson or his Master might need it to in a given situation- able to provide buffs, grant moments of unmatched mental clarity or courage, and even unlock hidden abilities and Noble Phantasms if the moment is dire enough. His secondary NP is one he rarely uses, and hates to do so, because of the bad memories it dredges up- called ‘The Reichenbach Solution’, it creates a reality marble recreation of Reichenbach, with the roaring waters and a single shot from Watson himself sending the enemy tumbling off the falls to their demise.

Watson was old friends with Moran in the army, and reconnect during their time in Chaldea (despite Holmes and Moriarty’s protests), and he also joins the ‘author squad’ and spends much time with them. He is a rational man and sturdy as they come, always there when needed; whether it be to patch up wounds, help solve mysteries, or to help Master deal with all the mental trauma from their adventures (because holy shit they need HELP-). Also Also he probably just straight up adopts Mash, he and Holmes are her new gay dads.

(source: gomooink on twitter)

Enola Holmes (Ruler)

If Sherlock is the representation of all great detectives, then the teenage Enola Holmes is the representation of all female sleuths. Originally far too weak to be a servant- her source material being extremely modern (Enola Holmes series by Nancy Springer), she contains the essence of the great detectives of the fairer sex, but most importantly of two Divine spirits- Athena and Persephone (not Ma’at, despite what the image says-), both Greek goddesses. Athena is the dominant of the two, and a maternal figure to Enola, while Persephone is content just to sit back and enjoy the ride.

The younger sister of Sherlock and Mycroft Holmes (and sometimes, the mysterious elder sibling Sherrinford), Enola is much like her more famous brother- similar in lanky stature and physical features, including the prominent hawk-like nose. She is plain in appearance but behind bright eyes hides an intelligent, clever mind, albeit a stubborn and hard-headed one. She is a rebel at heart, resisting the efforts of society to shove her into the mold of a perfect subservient Victorian woman. Enola often uses being underestimated due to her sex and age to her advantage, and, like Sherlock, is quite adept at the art of disguise. With her Spirit Origin also containing figures like Nancy Drew and Miss Marple, Enola is a talented private investigator with a knack for seeing things from angles that other’s can’t- like that of a woman.

Also yeah, she gay. Keep scrolling. She would like to hold hands with Mash very much.

(enola w/ her brother mycroft; source, dewa-chan)

(concepts for her ascensions, mostly cemented, again courtesy of dewa-chan who i owe my life to always and forever-)

Columbia (Ruler)

The Divine Servant calling herself Columbia is a complex individual. At face value, she is the personification of the United States of America, often visualized as a goddess; a quasi-mythical figure first written about by the enslaved poet Phillis Wheatley during the Revolutionary War in her work To His Excellency, George Washington. Columbia is, in fact, an amalgamation of two lesser Divine Spirits. One of them is the Roman goddess of liberty, Libertas. The majority of personifications of liberty are merely aspects and appearances of her, including the Statue of Liberty and the unidentified woman in the painting Liberty Leading the People, leading to Libertas having a more powerful- if rather confusing- Spirit Origin compared to most other minor Roman deities. The other is Columbia herself; a goddess first encountered by Chaldea during the odd adventures with Paul Bunyan. She is the symbol of America, and although she is technically a goddess, she is not worshiped- instead existing as an anthropomorphic personification akin to Uncle Sam. She is a goddess crafted by humankind, a manifestation of the thirst for freedom and equality that resides in the heart of man.

However, her existence is still closely intertwined with Libertas, having come from her 'lineage'; Columbia explains that if other personifications of liberty were to manifest, such as Marianne- the French icon of liberty, they would have to have Libertas accompanying their own Spirit Origin to be anything more than a Phantom. Columbia is not only linked to the nation carrying the name America, but to the land itself- in her earliest incarnations she served as a representation of the Americas- both South and North- to those across the Atlantic. She protects all who walk across the great frontier, and all those who have walked it before. Geronimo often voices his hopes that she is the same goddess that brought the first peoples of the yet-unnamed land delicious maize in abundance; Columbia only ever gives a knowing wink, always keeping the answer to herself.

Columbia tries to speak like a newscaster- that is, without an accent- to hide that fact that her true accent as a Servant is the thickest fucking New York brogue you can imagine. AYYYY, SHE’S WALKIN’ ‘EEEEERE!!!!

She has two Noble Phantasms- a support one, her main, called ‘ TORCH OF THE NEW COLOSSUS: THE DREAM OF A NATION ‘, and an offensive albeit rarely used NP called ‘ STRIKE FOR FREEDOM: DO NOT WEEP, FOR WAR IS KIND ‘ that has anti-Country parameters /because it straight up fuckin’ manifests the american military from all across its history-/

Columbia is just... a big country mom. who can grow to the size of the statue of liberty. whoops.

[[LINK TO HER INTRO CHAPTER IN MY FANSERVANT FIC]]

Thomas Edison (True) (Caster(?))

BASTARD MAN. BASTARD. This Thomas Edison, though being initially called an Alter, is actually the True manifestation of the ‘Wizard of Menlo Park’ without the influence of so many presidential heroic spirits. To match Tesla, he’s a 5*. I have him as Caster but... that’s still up in the air, tbh.

He will steal your Noble Phantasm and claim it as his own. It’s actually one of his Skills- ‘Intellectual Copyright’. It blocks an enemy's ability to use their Noble Phantasm, sealing it for a length of time, while also buffing Edison in return- the strength of the buff received is proportionate to the strength of the sealed Noble Phantasm. This embodies Edison's habit of taking other people's ideas for his own, and while he often improved upon them, he still claimed them as solely his creations. He can copy the abilities of others and shape them to his own needs, always at the ready with a lawsuit in hand if anyone dare complain!

He is not allowed around Ivan or Ganesha due to his history with elephants and electrocution.

His Noble Phantasm (he may have more than one, he gets VERY shifty when asked) is a manifestation of his most terrible and deadly creation- the electric chair. He can also create a reality marble of a fantastical Menlo Park, a thriving center of innovation and invention, using his Territory Creation.

Did I mention he’s a bastard? God, he’s a bastard. He’s incredibly intelligent BUT HE IS A BASTARD. He’s Evil alignment (arguably, may be Chaotic Netural-). It pains Tesla to admit that he actually likes normal Edison (furry man) much more.

Ask him what he did to Louie Le Prince and he’ll sock you in the jaw and take off running (and also not answer).

Nicolas Flamel (Caster)

The Alchemist, the great and immortal Nicolas Flamel himself. He’s a sad old lanky Frenchman DILF dad who misses his wife a lot, and is always ready to throw hands with Merlin and/or Paracelsus. He’s a potential candidate for the Grand Caster class, but is behind Solomon and Merlin in ‘line’. Flamel was a successful French scribe who would gain a reputation as an alchemist after his death in 1418- or at least, his presumed death. He was rumored to have been successful in his creation of the Philosopher's Stone, an artifact with the ability to transmute base metals, and with it was able to create a way to achieve immortality. This Stone was his magnum opus, and he was the first to successfully create it- a fact he makes sure that Paracelsus is aware of at all times.

Also, much like Merlin, he’s not a true Servant. This is THE Nicolas Flamel. But... what happened to Perenelle, his wife? He does not like to talk about it.

He enjoys peace and quiet, educated debate, and reading. Flamel gets on quite well with his fellow Frenchman Dantes, as well as with Waver/El Meloi.

THE DRAGONS OF FLAMEL (Skill): Flamel summons a staff of Cadeceus. Carried by the Greek god Hermes in mythology, it is said "...wake the sleeping and send the awake to sleep. If applied to the dying, their death was gentle; if applied to the dead, they returned to life". In the hands of Flamel, it can stun an enemy or counteract the effects of a stun-inducing skill upon an ally. As well as that, it can channel the effects of its corresponding god-named element mercury, able to dissolve many metals like silver and gold at will. However, like mercury, this skill is extremely volatile and prone to backfiring violently on Flamel if overused.

ELIXER OF LIFE (Skill): The ultimate alchemical creation- the solution, part of Flamel's legend, that granted he and his wife immortality. He keeps a small flask of the elixer on him at all times, and can be used in a pinch to heal all of Flamel's physical wounds, or that of a singular ally. However, it is not enough to grant an ally immortality, nor is it enough to heal multiple mortal wounds. The substance takes exactly one week, given the right materials, for Flamel to remake and refill his flask with some of the elixer.

He has two Noble Phantasms, one being ‘The Stone of the Philosphers’, and the other being ‘The Book of Abra-Melin the Mage’.

[[LINK TO HIS INTRO CHAPTER IN MY FANSERVANT FIC ALSO THERES A LATER CHAPTER WHERE HE ATTEMPTS TO THROW HANDS W/ PARACELSUS]]

Captain Alfred Bulltop Stormalong (Rider)

Captain Alfred Bulltop Stormalong is, plainly put, pretty much a nautical version of Paul Bunyan. Like Bunyan, he can change his size at will, growing to huge proportions. His giant ship was said to have hinged masts so as not to catch them on the moon, and had a stable of Arabian horses on board for his crew to get from one end of the ship to the other! Stormalong is said to have had a lifelong rivalry with the fabled Kraken- but unfortunately for the legendary sea beast, it got summoned alongside Stormalong and has begrudgingly taken up residence in his hat in a somewhat smaller form.

His main weapon (not drawn) is a ship's anchor he wields like a flail. His pipe is really just for the aesthetic as he can't use it to smoke, but it does blow bubbles! His Noble Phantasm is The Courser and the Kraken (Massive all-enemy damage + stun).

He’s a good boy who loves boats, the water, and clam chowder.

Edgar Allan Poe (Foreigner)

The alcoholic author himself, Edgar Allan Poe is a Foreigner-class servant, being linked with the King in Yellow- Hastur the Unspeakable.

Sometimes you can find him locked in a tiny pitch-black closet with Dantes and Sherlock, all three of them puffing away in utter silence on their tobacco. Hastur most often takes the form of a multi-eyed raven chillin’ on his shoulder, and is capable of speech- if prodded, he will shit-talk the patrons of Poe’s fellow foreigners. He really doesn’t like Cthulhu and Yog, even if Poe has psuedo-adopted Abby, WHOOPS. Hastur, to his credit, is the least malevolent Elder God/patron in Chaldea- though if he is seen chatting with Moriarty by any servants or staff, Master must be alerted immediately.

True to form, he’s very macabre, with a unique dramatic way of speaking much like his writings. He’s unsettling and creepy, but has impeccable manners and likes to chat (he’s very lonely-). He enjoys a good mystery, and is prepared to find Arthur Conan Doyle if he be a heroic spirit and beating the snot out of him for treating Holmes so poorly- Poe was the inventor of the detective fiction genre, after all. Most of skills manifest visually as references to his most famous works. His NP is ‘ A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM : THE CRY OF THE YELLOW RAVEN, NEVERMORE ‘

He doesn’t know what a ‘Hot Topic’ is, but it sounds intriguing!

And no, he doesn’t know what the hell was up with his death either. Weird shit happens in Boston.

71 notes · View notes

richietoaster · 5 years ago

Text

We’re Just Stardust In The Night

part two of the series “I Think About You A Lot”

can be read as a standalone!! but here is the previous part

wordcount: 2,660

playlist

read here on AO3

THANK YOU @s-s-georgie FOR BETAING

if you dont mind reading unformatted, you can continue below

----------------------------------------------------------

It was peaceful, the sleep that Richie was sound in. That is until a foot kicks at his face and knocks his glasses off his face; he almost loses his balance and falls out of the hammock he’s sharing with his boyfriend.

Richie scowls at Eddie and picks his glasses up from the floor. “One day I’m gonna really get you back.”

“Is that a promise?”

Richie adjusts the frames back onto his face. “No, it’s a threat.”

“Ominous.” Eddie pushes himself up on the hammock and leans over to steal the glasses from Richie’s face.

“Hey!”

“Maybe I was removing them for a reason, dumbass.” There’s a glint in Eddie’s eyes as he angles his head and bends down to kiss Richie. And that.. That’s just something neither of them will ever get used to. How can anyone go this long without kissing the love of their life? Their fucking soulmate? God, Eddie would never tell Richie that- it’d go straight to his head. Eddie clutches the frames in his hand, and uses the other to slide it up Richie’s neck, his thumb resting underneath of his jaw. Eddie opens his mouth slowly, taking the lead, and feels the warmth of Richie’s tongue dip in, and he thinks this must be what paradise is.

The second that Richie turns his head to kiss Eddie deeper is when he hears the door to the clubhouse open, and there’s two of their friends jumping down. Richie tosses his boyfriend off of his lap out of reflex and immediately apologizes when Eddie starts groaning.

“Shit, sorry Eds-”

“What are you losers up to, huh?” Richie can hear Bev’s smirk.

“Oh, fuck off.”

“You know,” Stan starts, “You guys don’t have to hide the fact that you’re kissing- we all know that you fuck.”

“We do not,” Eddie corrects, and it makes Richie’s face drop slightly. It’s true- they haven’t slept together. They’ve only been dating for a whole three weeks. He guesses that some people are comfortable with doing it early in a relationship- and not that he wouldn’t have an issue fucking Eddie; it’s Eddie and sex. Richie knows that he’ll be head-empty-no-thoughts once they start getting sexual. It’s just he doesn’t know if Eddie would be up to it, based on his reaction just there. Hell, even his reactions previously. The other losers tease them for not having sex. They’re all surprised because: ‘Really? You guys haven’t slept together? Shit, Rich. Shocked you haven’t jumped his bones yet!’ And- that’s not really fair. Richie’s been wanting to fuck Eddie since his voice dropped.

Richie reaches down to help lift Eddie to his feet. “Leave it, you guys. Eddie doesn’t like talking about our sex life. It’s because he’s shy.” He presses multiple quick kisses to Eddie’s hand.

“No,” Eddie flicks Richie’s nose, “It’s because we don’t have one.” The ‘yet’ lingers in the air.

“No,” Richie mocks, “It’s because you don’t wanna let everyone know that all those things I’ve said about my dick is true.” He pulls Eddie closer, playfully yet suggestively.

“You’re fuckin’ disgusting.”

Bev laughs at them, “Has anything even changed for you guys? You still bicker like an old married couple.”

Richie and Eddie look at each other and shrug, saying simultaneously, “We kiss.” Richie adds on, “and a lot.” He thinks it’s nice being in a relationship with his best friend. Because nothing really had to change at all, just like Bev said. And it shouldn’t have to, honestly. They just added to it- kissing.

“Okay, yeah, spare me the details,” Stan pretends to gag.

“You're just jealous that you don’t have your own Spaghetti.”

“No, I’m good, actually, thanks.”

“And what is wrong with my Spaghetti, huh?”

Stan leans over the bean bag he’s sitting on to grab a stray pillow on the floor and chucks it at Richie.

“Hey!” Richie squawks. “You know what? I’m taking a nap. Wake me up when Eddie’s mom realizes she wants to hit it and quit it with me.” He turns over in the hammock, rustling Eddie.

“I thought you would quit those,” Eddie says, but there’s no serious tone to his voice. He knows that’s just Richie’s humor.

“Fine. I’ll change it up a bit: Wake me up when your dad wants to hit it and-”

“-My dad’s fucking dead, you asshole.” Eddie barks out a laugh.

“Can we stay down here and get drunk tonight?”

“No, I have to be in a good present state tomorrow for school. Handing in the last few slips of shit for graduation.”

“Hm. Seems a good enough reason to get drunk.” Richie huffs. He and Eddie have talked about this multiple times, he knows. It’s just he can’t shake the thought away. Sometimes it just sticks too long in his mind and he needs reassurance, which Eddie is more than happy to give.

Eddie slots himself against Richie like he was before their friends made an appearance.

“Hey,” he whispers, “are you good? I know what you’re thinking.”

“You do? That’s kinda hot.”

Eddie taps at Richie’s chest. “It’s okay to be worried, you know. It’s healthy to be worried. I just want to make sure that your head is in a good place, though.”

“M’fine. Don’t worry that pretty little head of yours,” Richie rakes back Eddie’s hair, stopping at the base of his neck to pull him up in an open mouthed kiss. Eddie grasps Richie’s chin to get a better angle and tilts his head.

“If y’all are gonna fuck can I please record it?” Bev asks, not looking up from her phone.

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Stop interrupting us.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t be making out in a public place.”

“This is literally our private clubhouse, Stan.” Eddie says.

“Seven people use it and come and go as we please.”

“Maybe that’s exactly what I’m trying to do but you’re here.” Richie says. Nobody can tell if he’s joking or not.

“If I ever fucking find out y’all end up banging in that hammock, so help me God.”

“I thought jewish people don’t have a God.”

Richie braces himself and Eddie, who’s still laying on top of him, from another incoming pillow that Stan throws.

“You’re so stupid.”

----

A few days later, Eddie’s in Richie’s room, laying on the bed that’s shoved in the corner, unmade. His head hangs off the edge as he impatiently waits for Richie to come back into the room. They got their graduation caps and gowns and Eddie insisted on having Richie try it on for him.

“If you don’t hurry up we’ll miss graduation at this rate. Come on, Rich.”

There’s ruffling from the bathroom and Richie pokes his head out. “I feel weird.”

“Why do you feel weird?”

“Because graduation. It’s like a bittersweet taste in my mouth.” Richie steps out and trudges back to where Eddie is. “Feel like I gotta brush my teeth every time I talk about it.”

Eddie flips his body and sits upright, reaching out to clutch the gown between his fingers, pulling Richie closer to him. “You look cute.”

“No, you.”

“You can’t use the Uno reverse card in verbal conversations.”

“Says who?” Richie challenges.

“Me,” Eddie smooths out the deep red robe. He plays with the Honor cords around Richie’s neck. “You’re gonna nail your speech, you know.”

Richie slumps, “I’m scared shitless.”

“Why don’t you practice it and read it to me?”

“No can do, Spaghettio.” Richie shakes his head. “It’s a surprise.”

“Am I in it?”

Richie shrugs, smirking, and unzips the robe, hanging it back up in his closet. “You’ll have to wait and see.”

“That’s not fair.” Eddie pouts and flings himself backwards to lay on the bed, toying with the sheets.

Richie jumps up next to Eddie and cozies into his side, draping an arm around his torso. “It’s totally fair, you’re just impatient.”

“Maybe so,” Eddie hums. He looks down at Richie, who’s already looking up at him. They meet in the middle to kiss slowly. “Hmm.”

“What?” Richie asks, lips dragging over Eddie’s as he speaks. “You good?”

“Very,” Eddie responds and pushes the hair out of Richie’s face.

And it’s moments like this where Richie wants to tell Eddie that he loves him. He supposes that Eddie might have a strong inkling about it, or maybe already knows, but Richie’s never actually said it outloud. Yet, he says a lot of things that sound a lot like i love you, like, when Richie drives away from Eddie’s house after dropping him off, ‘i’ll text you when i’m home,’ or when Eddie does something funny and Richie says, ‘you’re so stupid,’ with a huge ass grin. It’s in the little things, as cheesy as it sounds.

“Tell me.” Richie says after a minute.

“Mm?”

Richie watches Eddie, sees how his eyes are closed and smiles. “Would you be mad if I just stole you away for the whole summer? Just you and me? Like as much as I love our friends.. I kinda rather just be with you.”

Eddie peaks an eye open, “I wouldn’t be opposed to it with that logic,” and looks down at his lips, nudging Richie with his nose. Richie gets the hint and begins to push himself up from the mattress. Before they can kiss again, the door is opening and Maggie Tozier’s voice fills the air.

“Hey, Eddie you should call your mom and- oh.”

“Shit,” Richie curses and pushes himself away from Eddie, but there’s not much room for him to work with seeing as they’re on his bed.

That’s another thing- only their friends know, well, until now. Maggie totally knows.

“Could you..” Richie chokes on his words, “knock next time? Please?”

Maggie gives him a look that definitely says ‘we have to talk about this later’, but she nods, “Yeah, I- sorry.. I was just gonna say that Eddie should call his mom if he wants to stay for dinner..” She pauses and looks between the two. Maggie doesn’t know who’s more red: them or her. “I’ll just..” She points behind her and slowly backs out of Richie’s room, closing the door.

“Holy fuck.” Eddie turns to Richie. “Is she gonna tell my mom? Because I-”

“-No, Eds. She’s cool.. She won’t tell your mom.”

“Jesus- and- what is she gonna say to you? Is she gonna yell?”

“Eddie.. She knows I’m gay. She just.. didn’t know that I’m with you.” Richie shrugs, “I don’t think she’s gonna care, but she, uh, might not let us keep the door closed anymore..” He trails off.

“Why would she not-” Richie sees the moment Eddie gets it. “But we’re not.. We’re not having sex.”

“She doesn’t know that. She just walked in on us with me practically on top of you, looking like we were kissing. Which was actually accurate, so.”

“Can’t you tell her that we aren’t?”

Richie laughs, “You think she’s gonna believe that her son and boyfriend aren’t fucking? I mean.. It’s gonna happen eventually, so I mean-” He stops himself. “I-I mean it doesn’t have to, of course..”

Eddie relaxes and reaches for Richie’s hand. “Yes, it will. I just don’t want either of us to feel pressured just because others think we should or already think that we are. I want it to be natural. That’s for us to know- nobody else.”

“Like a secret?”

Eddie barks out a laugh, “Sure. But I’m sure our friends will catch wind of it eventually.”

“So,” Richie changes the subject, “Are you staying for dinner? Maybe even the night?”

“I’ll stay for dinner, but not the night. I don’t want your mother to have a heart attack. Plus I don’t think I’d be able to handle it if she made me sleep on the couch or something. I’ve been sleeping next to you years even before this, don’t think I could without you anymore.”

“Alright then,” Richie decides, “Then I’ll sneak over to your house tonight.”

“My mom would not let you in.”

“You have a window,” Richie tells him. “That I’ve used plenty of times.”

“Okay smartass.” Eddie rolls his eyes, grinning.

Richie kisses his temple and noses along his face. “Once we’re in California we could get our own apartment and then I won’t have to worry about sneaking over.”

“You’d want that?”

“Eds, I’ve wanted everything with you for a long time now.”

Eddie turns his head and slots his lips against Richie’s, kissing him hard, knocking them both over. “You’re amazing.”

Richie thinks that kind of sounds like ‘i love you.’

---------

“Mom, I want to talk to you, um, about what you saw earlier..”

It’s been two hours since Eddie left, and Maggie’s getting ready for bed. She looks at him with an amused expression. “I’m not mad, Rich. I’m not upset or angry either. I’m proud of you.”

Richie’s a little taken back by her statement, because that’s a lot to take in. “You’re.. You’re proud of me? For what? You walked in on me and Eddie seconds away from kissing and you’re proud?”

Maggie shakes her head, “No, Richie. I’m proud of you for finding someone who makes you happy. And you deserve that, honey. I know that living here hasn’t always been the most accepting, even in this day-and-age.” Richie looks like he’s going to cry. “Don’t get soft on me, now.”

“I’m not.” Richie wipes a tear away and embraces his mom. She strokes his hair.

“How long have you been together?” Maggie asks him.

“Only three weeks.”

“You’ve liked him for a long time.” Richie gives her a look and she nudges him back, “Okay I know you are not dumb, Richie. I notice things. I’m your mother. Of course I know that the way you’ve always looked at him was different from the way you look at the rest of your friends.”

“Since the eighth grade,” Richie admits. Maggie hums. “So, are you gonna like.. make us keep the door open now?”

“We’ll see. But if I knock and there’s no answer within seven seconds, I’m opening that door.”

“Don’t even worry about it- we’re not..”

Maggie looks surprised, “You guys aren’t boning?”

“Mom!”

“What? I just finished what you were gonna say! Don’t be a pussy, I raised you better than that.” Maggie bumps Richie’s shoulder with hers, giggling. “But that’s surprising, actually.”

“I am not talking about my sex l- nonexistent sex life with you right now. Nope, not happening. This is a conversation for another night. Another year.”

Maggie laughs, “Alright, alright, understood.”

Richie pauses though, suddenly nervous to speak. “I love him, ma.”

“I know.”

Richie stumbles into Eddie’s window around midnight. He thinks Eddie is still asleep and climbs in the bed, carefully, snuggling up next to him. Richie presses soft kisses to the back of Eddie’s neck. He sighs contently and smiles against Eddie’s skin. Most people would probably think they’re moving too fast, despite them not actually moving fast at all. They’re in that weird position where they’ve just liked each other for so long, that the amount of time they’ve been official, doesn’t matter. Everything just feels so right.

Which is why Richie runs a hand through Eddie’s hair and mutters against his neck, “I love you, Eddie,” because he felt like it was the perfect time to say it. He freezes though, when Eddie stirs, turning to look at him. Richie starts to internally panic, but then:

“I love you too, Rich.”

Richie’s eyes are wide, his emotions are a mix of shock and happiness. Eddie smiles and reaches up to caress his cheek.

“I love you, too.” Eddie repeats. He wipes away a tear that rolls down Richie’s face and then suddenly a mouth is covering his own.

Honestly, fuck what others think. It’s their relationship, their pace, and they can do whatever they want.

And if that includes kissing Eddie forever, Richie definitely wouldn’t mind.

-------------------------------------------------------

Perma taglist (ASK TO BE ADDED OR REMOVED):

@beproudtozier @eds-trashmouth @eddiefuckinkaspbrak @s-s-georgie @tinyarmedtrex @are-you-reddie-for-it @richietoizer @richietczier @tk-strand @gczebos @your-mother-and-i-are-separating @derrylosers @thepurplepanther @montconde @devjoan @emecat123 @weirdthoughtsandideas @caleigh-rayne @kaspzier @tastytozier @melkene @whysthatsofuckingfunnydickwad @its-stranger-than-you-think @legally-devorak @s-onora @becauseweredeltairlines @lifesucksheres20bucks @soooobr @itmovieunofficial @tomhollandslefteyebrow @sloppybitchreddie @iwantmybloodonyourhands @pinkmedusa6 @fandomluvgirl @kelthehuman @panikki @ahhhhgh @eddiessecondfannypack @rainbowrabblerouser @stellar-alley @thoughtfullyyoungduck @k4spbrak @bi-bi-richie @bastardchildsbestfriend @sloppybitchreddie

#reddie #my writing #ITAYAL series #i think about you a lot series #sara writes #it 2017 #it 2019 #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak

161 notes · View notes