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Merlin talking to baby Aithusa.

Merlin: Shake daddy’s hand, sweetheart, let’s make a deal, okay? I’ll give you your favorite candy, and in return, I’ll sacrifice your first boyfriend in the name of the my love for you, okay?

Aithusa makes baby noises and shakes her father’s hand.

Merlin: Very good, darling.

Arthur: I’m not sure if this is right, Merlin…😰

Merlin: Shh.

15 years later.

Aithusa: Dad, this is my girlfriend!

Merlin: 😢

Arthur: 🤣

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Arthur: What’s your dream job?

Merlin: To become a doctor.

Arthur: Hm, but with your bad mood, I don’t know if I would go to your office.

Merlin: That’s why I’ll be a doctor and not a veterinarian.

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Merlin: Don’t you think sometimes you’re very heartless?

Morgana: If I didn’t have a heart, I’d be dead.

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Merlin: Gaius, are you okay? How are you?

Gaius: Standing and breathing, Merlin 🙄

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Morgana: How can I trust people if my father fuck with my mother!

Arthur: 🫢

Uther: How can I trust people if my daughter… *thinking* … breastfed from my wife!

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Arthur: Do you love me despite everything?

Merlin *jokingly*: Unfortunately.

Arthur *crosses his arms*: Hmm 😒

Merlin *hugs Arthur by the waist*: You know I’m joking, right? It’s my choice to love you, and I would choose you a thousand times in every reincarnation.

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Arthur: Jealous? 😏

Merlin: Obviously! You’re mine!

Arthur lifts his chin, smug.

Arthur: And you’re mine?

Merlin smiles: Sir, I already serve you in so many ways, the only thing left is to give you my paw and ask for belly rubs. Do you want me to wear a collar too?

Arthur: Are you offering? 😏

Merlin: 😏

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Arthur: What should we call ourselves now that we’re together?

Merlin shrugs: I don’t know, I’ve never thought of calling you anything other than Clotpole.

Arthur rolls his eyes: How about darling? It sounds a bit cheesy.

Merlin: Yes, you can think of better nicknames.

Arthur: Merls?

Merlin makes a face: No, the knights call me that, be more creative, sir.

Arthur: So what should I call you then?

Merlin smiles: Future husband sounds perfect to me.

Arthur: 😳

Merlin: 😏

Arthur blushing: Shut up, Merlin!

Merlin: 😘

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Dragon Merlin purrs: You are mine.

Arthur: No, I am mine.

Dragon Merlin smiles: You may be the king of the world outside this room, but in here, Sir, you are mine.

Arthur smiles: And you, are you mine too?

Dragon Merlin: Since the day I first saw you.

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Merlin barges into Arthur’s room without warning, as usual, and startles the prince who was just coming out of the bath and dropped his towel.

Merlin: Wow 🫢

Arthur: 😳

Merlin: I know this isn’t the right moment, but what a fine “sword” you have, sir.

Arthur: Shut up, Merlin!

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Bad Parenting version Hannibal

Beau Graham - Father

Will Graham - Ron

Hannibal - Mr Red face

Wendigo - (Doll Ron)

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Arthur and his daddy issues preventing him from understanding that he is loved by someone.

Merlin: Arthur, I love you.

Arthur: I knew you were too good to be true…

Merlin: Huh?

Arthur: I don’t appreciate lies.

Merlin: But I really love you!

Arthur: Everyone makes mistakes.

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New servants being introduced to the prince’s servant.

Old servant: That’s Merlin…

New servant: Cool, he seems nice.

Old servant: He’s not. He hears and knows everything around here. One moment he can be your best friend, and the next, kill you if he thinks you’re a threat to his treasure.

New servant *sweating bullets*: Message received, I won’t go near that guy’s money.

Old servant *confused*: Money? No, Merlin’s treasure is the prince. The bastard serves our prince as if he were serving God, so you better serve the prince as if you worship the ground he walks on, or Merlin might think it’s better to get rid of you.

New servant *nervous laugh*: Talking like that, it sounds like a cult…

Old servant: It is a cult. The prince is God, and Merlin is his most faithful devotee. We are the followers and will be sacrificed if Merlin thinks it’s best.

New servant: 😰

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Arthur annoyed after hearing the advisors complain non-stop.

Arthur: Honestly, Merlin, I don’t understand how you were able to endure hours of those complaints, it’s so irritating!

Merlin *didn’t hear*: 🙂

Arthur: Merlin! Are you listening to me!?

Merlin: Huh? Oh, sure, sure sir, what were you saying?

Arthur *rolls eyes*: How can you ignore such irritating complaints?

Merlin *looks at Arthur*: I have a lot of practice.

Arthur: … 🤨

Merlin: 😏

Arthur *realizing*: Oh! 😮

Arthur: Hey! 😡