mandoriana

[mandoriana]

Gwen: Great, slumber party with the girls!

Merlin: Am I not a girl?

Morgana: Pretend you are.

Merlin crosses his legs and lifts his chin.

Morgana: Perfect.

Gwen: What do we do first?

Morgana: Something scary!

Gwen: Like what?

Merlin: We could go to bed early and suffer alone with our own thoughts! 😃

Morgana: I said something scary, not suicidal, Merlin.

[mandoriana]

Mordred: Emrys, good to see you, how's your patience?

Merlin: It doesn't good, it's paralyzed! It's immobile, inert, in a vegetative state! It feels like my body has only two molecules of serotonin and I refuse to waste them explaining myself to others!

Mordred: hehe 😅

Merlin: Understand it however you want! Take it however you like! Do whatever you want, just don't bother me! Honestly, some people demand so much attention that they seem like sentimental loan sharks! "Oh, why don't you like me, wah wah wah" 😤

Mordred: I say that... 😥

Merlin: People don't realize that by doing that they are annoying! Insufferable! The devil's spawn on earth!

Mordred: 🥺

Merlin: Honestly, I'm out of energy, minerals, vitamins A, B, C, D, S, LGBTKIY something! No desire at all to be at peace with people I can't stand! Got it?

Mordred: Got it 🥺

Merlin: If you want to leave *blows a kiss* go with the gods! Walk in the shade, darling, just go away! I'm running from anything that stresses me out like the devil from the cross! Anything, and I'll send it to FU.

Mordred: FU? 🤨

Merlin: FU. 🙂‍↕️

Mordred: What's FU?

Merlin: Fuck Up.

[mandoriana]

There's something so beautiful about the fact that Arthur's first words to his LITERAL soulmate are: "Do I know you?"

“Do I know you?”

“I’m Merlin.”

“So I don’t know you.”

“Who do you think you are, the king?!”

“No, I’m his son, Arthur.”

Greatest characters’ introduction of all time, in the entire cinematic industry.

And the gayest.

[mandoriana]

Gwaine: But princess, what do you think about this?

Arthur: Ah, I don't know.

Gwaine: But have you thought about that?

Arthur: I don't know.

Gwaine: But what are we going to do?!

Arthur: I DON'T KNOW!!

Gwaine: SIR!

Arthur *exhausted*: Honestly, some days I feel a physical, mental, spiritual, physiological, existential, anthropological, anthropophagic, anarchic, socioeconomic, psychoanalytic exhaustion!!!

Knigths: 😕

Arthur: The only thing I ask of you is to spare me the stress, I'm already full of demands to resolve and so many things to do!

Leon: Sir... 😟

Arthur *freaking out*: I'm in a "save me" vibe! Whatever I can avoid causing me more stress, I'm avoiding!

Elyan: 😥

Arthur: I'm too lazy to talk, to comply, to have an opinion! I'm honestly thinking about starting to pray to the gods to bring me back as an amoeba in my next life!

Gwaine: I'll call Merlin...

Arthur *throws himself face down on the table*: I wish I didn't exist! 🙄

[mandoriana]

Merlin *serving dinner to Arthur*: Coffee, sir?

Arthur: No, Merlin, I can't have coffee now. When I have coffee, I can't sleep.

Merlin: For me, it's the opposite. When I'm sleeping, I can't have coffee.

Arthur: huh 🤨

Merlin: 😀

[mandoriana]

Gwaine: 👀

Merlin: 🤕

Gwaine: Merls, what happened?

Merlin: Did you know that saying "Calm down, love" to a king with anger issues is the same as saying "devil, I summon you and challenge your power"?

Gwaine: Huh? No?

Merlin: Well, I didn’t know either until I heard Arthur grumbling about a meeting and made the mistake of trying to calm him down in the least effective way possible.

Gwaine: And what did he do?

Merlin: Let's just say I have a new purpose: to be the voice of reason that NEVER says "calm down" again.

[mandoriana]

Inspired by a post from @raventhebard where Logan was struggling in Tokyo and Wade shopping from Hello Kitty.

I admit I spent all my creativity doing Logan's abdomen. 🥲

[mandoriana]

YES

The real reason why Arthur couldn't have discovered Merlin's magic early on is that he would try to help Merlin learn more about magic, and it would result in both of them being more idiotic than ever, proving the term 'Two halves of the same idiot' was always right.

Arthur *reading a book of magic potions*: It says here we should spin...

Merlin: ...

Arthur: ...

Merlin: Who spins? Like, is it the flask or is it us?

Arthur: ...

Merlin: ...

Arthur: I don't know, but better not take any chances.

Merlin and Arthur spinning.

[mandoriana]

I'm bored, so I made a draft of Merthur being idiots together.

[mandoriana]

Arthur and Merlin are returning from a mission and hear someone say that Gwen is pregnant.

Arthur: Oh my god *feeling sick*

Merlin: Sir, calm down, you're going to have a heart attack like this! *also feeling sick*

Arthur: Someone call a doctor!

Merlin: I am your doctor, idiot!

Arthur: Call another doctor!

[mandoriana]

The real reason why Arthur couldn't have discovered Merlin's magic early on is that he would try to help Merlin learn more about magic, and it would result in both of them being more idiotic than ever, proving the term 'Two halves of the same idiot' was always right.

Arthur *reading a book of magic potions*: It says here we should spin...

Merlin: ...

Arthur: ...

Merlin: Who spins? Like, is it the flask or is it us?

Arthur: ...

Merlin: ...

Arthur: I don't know, but better not take any chances.

Merlin and Arthur spinning.

[mandoriana]

Merlin: Gaius i'm sorry.

Gaius: I'm starting to think "Gaius, I'm sorry" is my actual name, considering how often you say it to me.

Merlin: 🥺

[mandoriana]

Merlin: Gaius, I screwed up, big time.

Gaius: Merlin, given your daily life experiences, you're gonna have to be more specific.

[mandoriana]

Arthur: I would like your undivided attention, please.

Merlin: You couldn't handle my undivided attention, sir. 😏

Arthur: What?😳

[mandoriana]

Merlin: Going to meetings, writing stuff down, you love that nerd stuff.

Arthur: Writing down things is nerdy? What do you do?

Merlin:Just forget stuff, like a cool person.

[mandoriana]

How Merlin almost died before meeting his own children:

Merlin: So Arthur is it the father or is it me?

Gwen: What do you mean the father? I'm not pregnant!

Merlin: 😬

Gwen: 😡

Merlin: Oh god.

Gwen: Are you saying I look fat?!

[mandoriana]

Merlin: It was like taking candy from a baby.

Arthur: Why are you giving candy to a baby in the first place? Don't give candy to a baby! They can't brush their teeth!

Arthur's been reading some parenting books he Knows Things now.