#Nikoletta Kirsty Kiss at the top of my hierarchy of needs rn

[pinuphead]

some Kirsty x Nikoletta hcs that devolves into my insanely rambling about a Hellraiser movie about them. 

Anyway. Enough Pinsty Pinhead was like “oh what’s this Kirsty? You want me to take your shitty husband to hell instead of you?” and bc he’s fucking gay as hell he picks the man. 0 interest in her. NIKOLETTA ON THE OTHER HAND! 

So like... I hc that Nikoletta was 100% attracted to Kirsty first. Like Kirsty was also a bit like 0////0 bald woman in leather! but she was too busy not dying to rlly think about it. Also Kirsty is big bisexual bc I said so. I am the god of this world. Apologise to me, for being born in my universe. 

Anyway, Nikoletta was DEAD! FUCKING! SET! on getting her soul! She wanted Kirsty so bad. She would be jumping up like a puppy that heard the doorbell ring everytime someone opens the box like “Kirsty?? Kirsty???” And I imagine the other cenobites teased her about it a bit but she would bully them back for having shit taste in men so peace and love. 

Meanwhile Kirsty is having a shit time bc of trauma! Like I imagine after everything that happened with her losing all her family and getting institutionalised AND THEN basically adopting Tiffany that her mental health was struggling. She spent a long time trying to get back on her feet - she sold Frank’s old house and was crying letting it go bc it was her dad’s childhood home, and she loved her dad so much :( Tiffany did her best to support her though and started working part time to help Kirsty pay for bills in their shitty little apartment. Tiffany started working at a convenience store stocking shelves and cleaning - she didn’t do work at the till bc mutism but she did her other jobs rlly thoroughly so everyone just let her get on w her stuff. 

Anyway one day she was solving a Rubik's cube on her lunch break and another girl at her job was like “omg I love puzzles too” and long story short they started dating. Tiffany was rlly nervous w coming out to Kirsty as bisexual bc Kirsty was under a lot of stress and also Tiffany seems like her mother didn’t really value her for her neurodivergence and she was mistreated in the facility, so she didn’t want to jeopardise Kirsty’s love and support. And like... it was the 80s. The AIDs crisis was happening it was an awful time to be gay. 

But she did come out to Kirsty eventually and Kirsty was rlly supportive! And this made Kirsty go “oh shit... sapphic relationships... are REAL!!” and she finally connected that she might be a bit gay as well :) and this happened a few years after the events of Hellraiser 1 so she’d come to terms with some of her trauma and was ready to give dating another go. 

So anyway she like... made out with a few women in a gay bar and was like “yeeeaaahhhh I am a bisexual” so woop! She did worry about whether her dad would have accepted her though. The fact that she could never come out to him bc she realised this about herself after his death really haunted her :( 

Anyway yeah that’s my Kirsty gay lore. Anyway, Nikoletta. 

So you know how sapphic women would sometimes becomes nuns to be in a female only space where they wouldn’t have to marry men and they would like... have gay sex? That was Nikoletta all the way. 

Anyway. You know how Elliott and Pinhead had the world’s cringest cat fight in Hellraiser 3? Nikoletta’s human side and cenobite side did the same thing, except her human side attached itself to Kirsty.

Anyway, her ghost shows up and Kirsty is like “god fucking dammit. You people AGAIN???” by this point they’re just like pest infestations. But Nikoletta explains in an epic montage like the one Elliott had about his war experience, but while his montage was him being sad in a field of corpses, and then sad in an attic, Nikoletta’s was just epic montage of her being gay in a monastery and like... desecrating the bible and being a cool girl with her gal pals. And then something really sad happens like the plague kills her lesbian polycule so she opens the box or something. Anyway Kirsty is looking at all this like “damn Nikoletta is FINE and an amazing gay lover. Interesting.” Because like... Nikoletta was absolutely hot as fuck as a human. These are facts. 

Also Tiffany is there and Nikoletta is super sweet with her bc Tiffany is this sweet little shy girl who’s been treated badly and Nikoletta relates to that bc of her experiences being gay in the renaissance in the church and Kirsty is like “awww she’s nice and motherly to Tiffany :) I’m starting to like this lady.” 

MEANWHILE evil Nikoletta is being fucked up and evil. She has her own boiler room massacre moment but I want it to be GAY! Like she kills conservatives at a gay conversion centre or something. She fucks up a church like Pinhead though like that can stay. Also she was never trapped in a statue rip Pinhead but Nikoletta is built different. She was like “Fuck being a statue I have things to do!” 

Also she still wants Kirsty BAD! so she hunts her down and we have a cool lil showdown between Evil Nikoletta and regular Nikoletta and also Kirsty and Tiffany are there. Tiffany does something cool like idk, she has a gun so she just shoots all the cenobites Evil Nikoletta sends at them.Rip Joey running around crying but Tiffany is different. Autistic girls should be armed instead of the military I think. I trust them to protect me. 

Anyway it gets to the point where Evil Nikoletta and regular Nikoletta are facing off. And Evil Nikoletta does the bondage tempting thing on Kirsty (but Kirsty is like... kinda into it like Evil Nikoletta was awakening things in her) and regular Nikoletta is sweating bc her and Kirsty have had a budding gay romance for this whole film. And anyway Evil Nikoletta threatens to hurt Kirsty so regular Nikoletta merges w her evil self to save her and at the end she says something hot like “I’d never hurt you Kirsty, not in a way you wouldn’t enjoy.” And Kirsty is like ooooooooh here’s my number call me baby and they kiss and you as the audience stand up in the cinema and clap while crying. 

Anyway they begin a long distance relationship. And Tiffany has two moms. And Pinhead and Butterball are the weird gay uncles Kirsty pretends don’t exist. Love wins. Credits roll. I win an oscar AND nobel peace prize for this film. 

Like idk the cenobites get a mission on earth like in the comics but it’s actually fun because Nikoletta and Kirsty go on dates while Nikoletta is in disguise. Like they go to a lesbian bar and Nikoletta fucking SMASHES IT at dancing. There’s a scene where Tiffany’s cool autistic girlfriend comes over so they can hang out and the cenobites are in Kirsty’s flat just chilling and they try to unconvingly pretend to be weird goths bc they’re all very protective of Tiffany and don’t want to scare her girlfriend away. Also Kirsty like.. hires a caravan so they go camping by the sea and it’s like a fucking anime beach episode. Pinhead and Lazslo wear those 1920s bathing suits and idk Tiffany catches a fish with her bare hands bc she’s epic and everyone claps. 

Anyway. Rom-com titled “me and my wacky girlfriend who’s the priestess of hell” ensues. 

So yeah when Kirsty becomes a cenobite it’s to be gay forever in hell! Boom comics dni. Also Tiffany is the flower girl at their evil gay wedding and Pinhead marries them bc he is technically a priest, so he should be able to officiate gay weddings I think. 

Cheque please.