#SUCK IT RANEK

[noonmutter]

Kinky Questions, Go!! ALL 50! At least the ones you haven't gotten yet.

*knucklecrack*

1: Kitchen Counter, Couch, or on top of the dryer?

"Yes. If I gotta pick one, couch. Th' dryer's noisy an' I like bein' able t' hear th' other person.

2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or Bad and why:

Answered here!

3: A fictional person that you think would be good in bed:

(I actually don't know any ingame fiction to draw an answer from here, sorry. <.<)

4: Something that never fails to make you horny:

"Pullin' me int' you. Up, down, chest-t'-chest, back-t'-chest, whatever. Not often I get manhandled, y'ken?"

5: Where is one place you would never have sex:

"I mean, never say never, but somewhere it'd take some real convincin' t'get me t' do it? Th' meetin' space at th' center o' th' Dreamgrove. I'd sooner set my 'air on fire than fuck where th' statue o' Malorne might watch me, an' Remulos would not approve."

(Rest below the cut! Yes I did do all of them!)

6: The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when:

"...Wakin' up in a pile o' people after an especially long bender, none of 'om I recognized, an' not one stitch o' clothin' anywhere in sight except fer a gnome-sized miniskirt. An' there were no gnomes in th' pile! "Days like tha' are why I don't fuck drunk anymore."

7: Weirdest thing that ever made you horny:

"Tenderizin' steak." Sigh. "Pretty sure it was th' smell o' th' raw meat, mostly.

8: What is the best way to sexually bind someone: Handcuffs, Rope, or Other [if other please explain]:

"With my bare 'ands, or with my teeth 'oldin' somethin' sensitive. Wolf's snout kin fit all th' way 'round most people's throats without actually bitin' down as long as I get th' canines all th' way across, an' as long as neither of us move too terribly much, it's great fun."

9: What is the fastest way to make you horny:

"Hook a finger in my collar an' pull me t' yer eye level. Trouble is, if we're not already pretty damn close an' y' start grabbin' at my collar, I might punch y'."

10: Top or bottom?

"Switch."

11: We were about to ____________ but then ______________ [example: we were about to have sex but then his mom walked in] "We were about t' sneak off t' start our 'oneymoon but then I tripped through a portal some jackass dropped in th' middle o' th' weddin' party an' 'ad t' fly all th' way back first.

12: Is one orgasm enough? Are multiple orgasms necessary?

"Sometimes it's enough, sometimes it's a start, sometimes it's not even th' point. Really depends on th' mood at th' moment, dunnit? I like t'go as many rounds as either of us kin stand, most o' th' time, but I def'nitely find plenty o' value in just one long, slow go tha' ends when it ends.

13: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:

His expression was less jovial than for most of these questions. "Th' collar I made for Vandy."

14: Weirdest nickname a significant other has ever called you:

"Squigglebird. Long story."

15: Two things you like [or dislike] about oral sex:

"Like th' noises it makes a person make--vocally, I mean--an' th' views it gives o' th' person I'm goin' down on an' th' person tha's goin' down on my. Don't like th' taste all tha' much, really 'ate some o' th' noises yer lips an' throat make if yer a li'l overzealous."

16: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:

"Li'l inflatable toy thingie in m' backside. Felt alright fer a while, cuz I mean it wasn't like it was th' first time I'd 'ad anythin' in there, but ah... she kept goin' past my willin'ness, an' it got pretty damn uncomfortable pretty damn fast. I might be willin' t' try it again but not without a lotta thought b'fore'and, an' not with my 'ands bound.

17: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]

"Yeah." He shrugged. "Tasted like cum. Nothin' special."

18: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:

"I mean, if y'both agree to it an' y'don't fool around with anybody else, then yeah it's fine. Overwhelmin' majority o' th' time, I wrap up, even with m'wives."

19: Who was the sexiest teacher you ever had?

"...I din't 'ave any teachers I thought were sexy? My first shan'do was a 'andsome elven woman 'o could arm-wrestle a grizzly an' win, but she wasn't wha' I'd call sexy. Too gruff, too keen t' be alone."

20: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:

"Not somethin' I really think about in advance, t'be honest. Cook or no cook, food just kinda 'appens on a whim."

21: How big is too big:

"Can't get my mouth 'round it is usually a problem. Length isn't so much a concern, just means y' won't get t' bury it all th' way after a certain point unless y' want me dead."

22: One sexual thing you would never do:

"Mess with any bod'ly fluids besides cum. I tried real 'ard t'understand tha' one an' I just can't, sorry. Gross."

23: Biggest turn on:

"Depends on th' person; wha's 'ot from one is wierd comin' from another. Pickin' out of a hat? When Val'rin says somethin', then rolls 'is eyes up t' look at me an' tacks on a plaintive li'l 'Sir?' at th'end."

24: Three spots that drive you insane:

"Pretty much anywhere on m' throat, th' undersides o' my wrists, an' my 'air. Partic'larly yankin' on it. Just... don't come up an' do it outta nowhere. Like with m' collar, tha' shit'll get y' punched an' I'd argue y' prolly deserve it."

25: Worst possible time to get horny:

"Most times aren't really tha' bad, Iunno... middle of a warzone I guess?"

26: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans:

"I'm kinna suspicious of anybody 'o doesn't. Wha' kinna person doesn't love tha' kinda instant feedback? Tell me I'm doin' a good job, tell me 'ow t' do a better job, tell me just 'ow blown yer mind is by losin' track o' words, sing me a song."

27: Worst sexual idea you ever had:

"Really dunno why I thought it was a good idea t' let a blindfolded guy toss me anywhere, least of all into a bed with a solid headboard on it."

He touched the back of his head in remembered pain.

28: How much fapping is too much fapping:

"When yer chafed an' still 'aven't finished cuz yer too damned raw and desensitized t' get off, it's prolly time t' stop fer a while."

29: Best sexual complement you ever got:

Answered here!

30: Bald, landing strip, Jumanji:

"Landin' strip, ideally. I kin deal with whatever but tha's th' most convenient amount. Less potential fer mess."

31: Is it good sex if you don’t nut?

"What a bizarre question, 'course it is. Shit, sometimes tha's 'alf th' point."

32: Fill in the blank: “If they ____________, we are fuckin”

"Bite my neck 'r pin me t' a wall."

33: What your favorite part of your body:

"My 'air. It's gotten damned difficult t' take care of, but th' tradeoff's pretty worth it."

34: Favorite foreplay activities:

"Touchin'. Just... touchin'. Runnin' my fingers real light an' soft across ev'ry...single...inch...of a playmate's body. Learnin' th' curves, th' blemishes, th' scars, th' ins, th' outs, th' sensitive spots, th' ticklish bits, th' fav'rites all by touch. I kin do tha' fer hours if they'll let me."

35: Love (>,<, or =) Sex For those of us who don’t remember our math that's “greater than, less than, or equal to]

"Does not equal. Th' two kin be completely unrelated t'one another an' tha's perfec'ly fine. They kin en'hance each other when they're both involved, but they aren't incomplete without one another at all."

36: What do you wear to bed?

"If I kin get away with it, nothin'. I run 'ot these days, it's real easy t' overheat if I wear stuff t' sleep.

37: When was the first time you masturbated:

"Gods, Iunno. Thirteen? Fifteen? Somewhere in there."

38: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?

"Not tha' I keep fer very long. I make 'em an' send 'em t' people tha' I made 'em for, then I get rid of 'em cuz I don't wanna watch m'self wankin' or whatever."

39: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?

"So many times, gods alive. Last time was a few days ago, if y' count th' back acres on our property as outside enough."

40: Have/would you ever have sex outside?

Leon just kinda snorted. (See previous answer!)

41: Have/would you ever had a threesome?

"Sev'ral times, an' I would 'appily do so again with th' right people. Fun, but occasionally tricky t' figger out."

42: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?

"Most o' th' time I'm very borin' an' just stick t' my 'and an' maybe a dildo, but I got one o' those vibratin' sleeve thingers not too long ago tha' I've been meanin' t' try out..."

43: Have/would you ever masturbate at work/school?

"No, an' maybe. If I were still workin' in a kitchen where other people 'ad t' work an' there's food ev'rywhere, it'd be an absolutely not. I work in a private workshop by th' 'ouse now, so I kin get away with it more, long as 'm careful. Thus far I 'aven't been so tempted tha' I couldn't make it back in th' house first, though."

44: Have/would you ever have sex on a plane?

"Never been in one, be willin' t' try. I've 'eard 'ow tiny those bathrooms are."

45: What is one song you��d like to have sex to?

"...gonna 'ave t' ask me that'un again in a few months when I know more songs, sorry."

46: What is something nonsexual that makes you horny?

Answered here!

47: Most attractive celebrity?

"Do th' Tarts count as celebrities? I'm not even gonna try t' pick one, but tha's all I got."

48: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?

"Not a big porn-watcher in gen'ral, my life feels like a goddamned romance novel as it is. Not often I need more'n a couple o' particularly fond mem'ries."

49: If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be right now?

"Four days."

50: Has anyone ever posted nude pictures of you online?

(Hard to answer this one since the internet at large isn't really a thing in WoW, at least not in a widely-accepted enough way for me to answer it...)

51: What is one thing that NEVER makes you horny?

"Put-downs. Don't call me slut or boy or bitch--gods, especially not bitch--or th' like if y'want me t' go 'ome with y'."

52: Do you have stretch marks? (How do you feel about them? Has anyone ever had a problem with them?)

"Not tha' I've seen."

53: Do you like giving head? (why/why not)

"Like givin' it cuz it makes m' playmate feel real nice, don't like th' flavor s' much."

54: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?

"Doesn't make a dif'rence t' me, aside from most tattoos bein' pretty."

55: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?

"Done it, though I'm not a fan o' th' phrasin'. They put some trust in me, I din't take anythin'."

56: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?

"Nothin' spicy. Period. Just don't. It's not worth it."

57: Is there anything you do on Tumblr that you would not like your significant other to see?

(Another one that doesn't really have an answer in this context.)

58: Do you own any sex toys? (what is it? (how long have you had it?)

Leon burst out laughing and pointed at the full-size steamer trunk at the foot of his bed. "Tha's not even close t' all of it, either. Gods alive, wha' a question t' ask me!"

59: Would you give your significant other unrestricted access to your Tumblr for a day?

"Wouldn't give 'em unrestricted access t' anythin' private o' mine fer a day. If it's tha' private t' begin with, it's cuz it's my safe 'aven, an' they respect tha', same as I do their private stuff."

60: Would you be offended if your significant other suggested you get plastic surgery?

"A li'l bit if it came outta nowhere, but I've talked a fair bit about wishin' I could get rid o' some o' my scars. It's not somethin' I wouldn't consider tryin'."

61: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?

"Pretty 'appy doin' th' latter as it is. Don't think I'd wanna try th' recorded stuff, it seems like it'd be really awkward t' do tha' fer a cam'ra crew an' with somebody 'o ain't really enjoyin' it."

62: Do you watch porn?

"Not really. Most of it's not int'restin' t' me."

63: How small is too small?

"'Too small' is 'ard fer me t' quantify. I 'aven't found anythin' too small fer me t' work with some'ow."

64: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?

Bit of a flat look. "Worgen."

65: Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything?

"Me an' th' guy 'o fucked me on th' fence out back shared quite a few kisses b'fore, durin', an' after. Mostly they meant 'fuck yer hot.'"

66: Would you switch phones with your significant other for a day?

"I mean, I could. Nothin' on there I wouldn't want any of 'em t' see. Be a bit inconvenient though."

67: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”?

"Frankly I'm more comfortable tha' way than otherwise. Spent too long with a big ol' poof o' fur around m' crotch t' be comfy with most undies. Same reason I'm not overly fond o' shoes either."

68: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair?

"Purely in a logistical sense, yeah. I kin still go t' town an' do thin's right, but it's... sloppy. Those 'airs seem t' WANT t' get in yer mouth, an' all tha', an' it's just so much messier overall."

69: If you could give yourself head, would you?

"'O says I can't?"

70: Booty or Boobs?

"I am very much an ass man."

71: If you had a penis, what would you name it?

"I do, but I didn't. Namin' it seems strange."

72: Have you ever been on an official date?

"Sev'ral, but all of 'em only took place in th' last few years. Never when I was growin' up."

73: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)

"No, an' I never will, an' you kin quote me on tha'."

74: If you were a stripper, what would your name be?

"I 'aven't th' faintest idea 'ow tha' works."

75: Have you ever had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?)

"Nope. Never 'ad th' opportunity, an' I think I'd rather throw up on th' floor an' eat it."

76: How would you react if you found out your parents had sex in your bed?

"Sweet, I'm gettin' a new bed!"

77: What was your reaction the first time you saw a penis/vagina

"Assumin' we're not talkin' about my own bits... 'That's not gonna fit!' fer a dick, an' 'This is a lot less sexy than th'other lads made it out t'be' fer a cooch."

78: If you had a penis/vagina for a day, what are five things you would do?

Answered here!

79: Oral, Anal, or Vaginal? 

"Yes."

80: What’s the first thing you look at on someone of the opposite gender?

"Their face. Also 'ow they carry themselves. But mostly their face."

( @pinpep @shckaewynn @valarin-sunstorm for mentions )

[ranekvilmas]

Numbers Game

13

I love our chats. I love getting the waves and hellos from you. I am... really bad about timely replies. A lot of it is I make like 3 drafts and keep scrapping it because I do not feel the writing is good enough. Your character has so much depth and I can only hope to be as good a writer as you. You inspire me and I treasure our talks. Thank you for being my friend, thank you for pushing me to write better. “This.. sucks.” Ranek glares up at me. “Stop this.”  He grumbles. “Alright! This person is amazing. They are a newer friend, but the times we have shared are special. I have learned so much from this person, and I value their friendship so very much. I look forward to when we bump into one another. It is never planned, we just.. cross paths when it is needed.” He smiled. “They are wonderful.”

[ranekvilmas]

🏹 - To hear what drop I think my muse would get for killing yours

The day finally came when Olivia retrieved her soul. Ranek had helped track down the location after months and months of hunting various covens with her help. It as a gem on a hair comb, something so small and seemingly insignificant. “I must go alone. That was the deal.” Olivia said sternly. There was no room for debate this time. “I have searched for decades, Ranek. It is finally here and I do not want… I WILL not let anyone get in the way. This is what I crave most in life..” She wrapped her arms around him, feeling his quickened heart rate.“I will be back soon, I promise. I love you, darling.” He looked up at him and stole a lingering kiss, then moved from his embrace and headed to the door. “I love you, too Olivia.” Ranek was stunned, but knew he could never get in the way. This is her stone, one that she needed to be whole again. 

When she arrived at the meeting place, the mind-controlled guards searched her for weapons. Finding none, she was allowed into the house. Fetishes, candles, and charms littered the walls. Dream catchers dangled from the high ceiling and twisted slightly with the wind. “I see you came alone. You have done well allowing your mate to do my work for me. Those covens are gone, and I can assume power once again over all this land. It is delightful to watch you lie to him for months now, all so you can have your soul back. How greedy of you! But.. I remember those days. As promised, I have something you desire most in this world.” The old witch giggled and licked her rotten teeth, the excitement of all opposition finally gone. He produced a small comb, a butterfly with a large green gem on it.

“This is what holds your soul.” The crone giggled once more. Olivia’s eyes widened, a hand almost reaching out to it. She was mesmerized by the object, her true freedom just a few feet away. Her heart ached that she lied and used Ranek, but.. after all of this she would come clean, and take whatever punishment was to come for betraying him. Countless lives would be lost… but she was free. Her true, selfish nature laughed in delight as her prize was finally won. “But before you claim this, you forgot to take out my last opposition. It is a simple, final act to end our deal. Please kill this vermin.” She signaled, and two men carried a person, dragging him on his knees to slump on the floor between her and Olivia. There was a bag over his head, but the pained gasping  was clear from the area of the moth that sucked in the cloth. He was brought upright and she could look at the poor soul. His right hand was removed, blood spattered over his shirt. His body was cut, bruised, and beaten. 

A guard handed Olivia a knife, then gestured to he man. She had killed before, but.. something was wrong. She gripped the knife and took a step forward, but being a curious creature, she had to see. She stepped forward and took the hood off, then recoiled immediately. 

It was her lover. Beaten and bruised. He could only open one eye, ut it looked wildly at her.  “O… Olivia?” His words were gurgled, a stream of blood and drool went into his beard.

The witch howled in laughter. With a swirling of mists, she revealed her true appearance. It was the gypsy woman who had given her the omen from her childhood.  “The look on your face is priceless! I warned you that you would kill the one you love most! But you have become a truly dark, selfish creature, so this should not be too hard for you, child of Lovecraft! Kill him and the soulstone is yours!” She looked to the guards and they stood at the ready. “No…. no no no!” Olivia looked at him, tears welling in her eyes. “Love… it.. will… be ok.” He looked to the guards, then to Olivia, canting his head to the left. She noted that he had a plan, so she braced herself with the knife, holding it firm. She nodded to Ranek and prepared to fight. 

With a roar and a surge, Ranek stood up and lunged, his arms free.Right into the knife. He coughed, leaning heavily onto Olivia, blood soaking through his stomach and onto her dress. She was stunned, her eyes wild in confusion and fear, then looked down. Ranek slumped to the floor, the knife still in his gut. He looked up to Olivia and gurgled again, trying to speak. Olivia was hysterical, dropping to her knees and cradling him. “Why! Why would you do this, Ranek! Why.” Tears streamed down her face as she held him close. A weak hand, covered in blood, went to put shaky fingertips to her face. “S.. so you can be free. I want.. you..t.. to live forever. I w.. want.. you to to live happy.” He forced a grin, that cocky grin from the night they met. He looked to her with his stormcloud grey eye, a moment of true peace, then the grin slackened and the light slipped from his eye.Olivia picked up the object with one hand, looking it over before screaming.

                                              -Olivia’s Soulstone-

325 Stamina

358 Intellect.

Equip: Olivia cannot die while she has this item.

“This was her greatest treasure, one that is now bought with the blood of the one she loved so dear“

@olivia-lovecraft I hope you are happy!

[ranekvilmas]

❇ Play fighting. (Whatever that symbol was. Lol)

Ranek and Shae glared at each other. On the table… there it was. The last lemon tart he made. The both stared, knowing the first one to divert their attention would go without the treat. “I made it.

“I made it.” 

“I bought the ingredients!”

“I baked it!”

“I HELPED, YOU ASS!”

“OH! NAME CALLING.. HOW ORIGINAL.”

“Ranek… your baking sucks.”

Ranek… narrowed his eyes. “Take. That. Back.” He looked livid, the TREACHERY! Shae scooped up the tart and crammed it in her mouth, then took off. 

“YOU SON OF A….!” He took off, wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her up. “Now what are you gonna do, shorty!? Shae glared behind her back, wiggling out of his shirt and dropped, then took a hold of his pant legs… and gave a hefty pull. Ranek sighed, chasing her around the table trying to kick one leg out. He looked up and he did not immediately see her, then he heard the shuffling and she jumped on his back, laughing and poking his side.. the only person who knew that was his soft spot. “NO!! ILL KILL YOU!!” He laughed, running around the table, bouncing her on his back.

@shaeli-dawson All day, every day.

[ranekvilmas]

12. A hug that comes after a rough day.

The fire crackled as the sun began to set over the hills of Pandaria. Ranek had settled in for the evening, heating stew and reading a book on constructing an engine. There was a gentle knock at the door, which made him jump. Guests were not common unannounced, just because the world was a very big place and visitors normally gave a heads up. But he still went to the door quickly and swung it open, seeing Cam standing there. "Cam! Hey, what's going on? I am a little ways off from the beaten path to-" Her attack was so quick Ranek blinked a few times. The small elf had wrapped her arms around his torso, hugging him tight and not saying a word. After another second or tow, he settled his own arms around her and rubbed her back. "Bad day?" There was a small nod, and a big intake of air. "People suck." Came the muffled reply and Ranek chuckled, kissing the top of her head. "Well, the liquor cabinet is open to my friends, so if you want a drink and sit by the fire again, i'm all yours." @camliristarfallen <3