#he wouldn't be where he is today without the support he's received

[nicoline1998enilocin]

Finally kissing you

PAIRING || Tony Stark x Avenger! Female! Reader

WORDCOUNT || 11.7K

SUMMARY || Two times Tony almost kissed you, and one time he did kiss you.

RATING || Explicit (E)

WARNINGS/TAGS || Mutual pining, Avenger! Reader, age gap romance, slow burn, explicit sexual content. 

TAGS | SMUT || Dirty talk, praise/praise kink, body worship, oral (F&M receiving), hand job, protected sex, multiple orgasms, hair pulling, aftercare.

A/N || This story has been sitting finished on my Drive for a little while now, and I'm beyond excited to finally be able to share it with you all! I want to thank @ccbsrmsf1 for all the love and support while writing this, and for the proofreading, too! This wouldn't be anywhere near this long without your suggestions and cheerleading. I love you, bestie! 🤍

A/N 2.0 || This story includes multiple drabbles from my Summer Of Drabbles challenge. The following drabbles have been included: Drabble #1 | Drabble #2 | Drabble #3.

EVENTS @fandom-free-bingo Frosty || x plus 1 @fandom-free-bingo Pride || Inclusivity @fandom-free-bingo Wild || Nobody took the couch @julybreakbingo Post-JBB || Noticing and/or experiencing the intelligent side of someone seen as unintelligent @tonystarkbingo #8005 || Protectiveness

GIF: @ccbsrmsf1 || All the other graphics in this post are made by @nicoline1998enilocin

Main Masterlist || Tony Stark || Summer Of Drabbles

Today’s story starts at the ceremony where you officially started working for SHIELD, as you caught the eye of none other than the self-proclaimed ‘genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist’ himself: Tony Stark. You’re the only woman in a crowd of male soldiers, but that’s not what stood out to him; the determination that dripped off every move you made and every word you spoke is what caught his attention. It didn’t take long for him to come up to you and introduce himself.

“So, what does a beautiful girl like yourself do between all these men? Aside from outshining them in every department, of course,” he says with his signature smirk, and you nearly choke on your drink as you hear his voice like honey. Growing up, you’ve always looked up to him and everything he has accomplished, so it is surreal that he is the one who came up to you, let alone complimenting you the way he did.

“Well- uhm…” you say as you try to gather your composure again, not wanting to look weird in front of the Iron Man, though you can’t help but feel that idea has gone out the window as soon as you nearly choked on your champagne.

“I- I am a SHIELD Agent, actually, specializing in nanotechnology. I’ve written and published a paper about it and some of its uses inside the human body not too long ago,” you tell him proudly, and his eyebrow raises slightly.

“Nanotech in the human body, hm? What do you think of maybe coming to my lab later so you and I can talk about that paper of yours? And to have a drink on your acceptance to SHIELD, of course.” Your eyes widen in surprise, but you’re eager to accept his once-in-a-lifetime offer from Tony. Heat surges through your cheeks at the thought of being alone with him soon, and you can’t stop smiling as you try to hide your nerves by taking another sip.

“I’ll be there in 15. Don’t keep me waiting, Beautiful,” he says with a smooth wink, and the nickname has your legs feeling like jelly as he turns around. That night, after arriving in Tony’s lab, you two have talked a lot about nanotechnology, and he even let you take a look at the arc reactor, too. After getting some useful insights, Tony immediately went to work, and you didn’t stop yourself from taking a peek or two at his bare torso when he did. And he didn’t mind, whatsoever.

When it was finally time for you to go, Tony insisted on getting into the Uber he ordered with you to know you arrived home safe. From that moment on, a tradition was born where you would often visit his lab and he would bring you home no matter what time of day it was, or how bad New York weather has become. Your bond has become stronger than you ever could have imagined, and the moment you became an Avenger, he was the person who applauded hardest and the first to hug you with congratulations.

But that’s not all, because over time, you and Tony have not only become the best of friends and each other’s biggest crush, but also mission partners, and that is exactly how you find yourself in the situation you are in now. Nose to nose with the man you love as you’re trying not to be recognized during your mission. While you’re both wearing outfits that make you pretty much unrecognizable, it’s still cutting it close when you’re face to face with one of HYDRA’s supervisors.

“What do we do now?” you whisper to him, your grip on his arms tightening with every footstep that’s audible from the hallway. While you two are stuffed in the first broom closet you could find, trying your hardest not to be found out in your hiding spot, you can’t help but take in the closeness between you two right now. While you and Tony have been close in many different ways before, you’ve never been this type of close.

“Well…” Tony says softly as the corner of his mouth lifts into his signature lopsided smirk, his hand slowly rising to your cheek where he gently tucks a piece of the long wig you’re wearing behind your ear. Your skin feels like it’s on fire as his calloused fingertips make contact, and his eyes flick from yours to your soft, pink lips and back. It feels like every inch of you is on fire, and your heart might leap out of your chest if he does what you think he’s about to do.

For months you’ve been thinking about what it would be like to kiss him, how his lips will feel on yours and how he will taste. In all honesty, it’ll most likely taste like coffee as that is what he’s most known to drink if he’s not indulging in the adult drink variety. It’s been on your mind a lot more than you’d ever admit to anyone, but now that it’s this close it’s all consuming.

Your eyes slip shut as Tony leans in, his warm breath ghosting over your lips as he takes a moment to let it sink in that he’s finally about to kiss you. After all the years you two have spent together, you’re finally about to have the release you’ve been desperately searching for. Until…

“It’s over, everyone. Natasha shot him, so our mission is done here,” you hear Steve say over the earpiece you’re wearing, and you jump back - or as far back as you can in the small broom closet you're inhabiting with your crush. A massive wave of disappointment soars through your body when you realize you were extremely close to finding out how soft Tony’s lips are. Now your entire body is on fire from rage instead of lust, and you’re looking forward to punching one of the punching bags when you’re back at the Avengers Compound. If you don’t hit Steve first, for interrupting your moment.

It’s been a little over a month since the mission where you and Tony almost kissed, but you have spent nearly every waking moment thinking about it. Whether you were alone in your room, eating with all the other Avengers or spending some quality time with some of them, Tony has been the topic of your thoughts 99% of the time. And you’ve been on his mind, too.

“I- Fuck! I’m still mad that he had to finish the mission right when we were about to kiss! Can you believe it?! I almost kissed the love of my life, but somehow Steve had to fuck it all up again,” he grumbles angrily, though there is no one other than his robot Dum-E to listen to his ranting. He’s been tinkering a lot more with the Iron Man suit lately, locking himself in his lab whenever he gets the chance. The only interruptions he accepts are when you visit him, but you haven’t visited that much since the ‘incident’.

“I’m a bit worried about her, in all honesty. She used to spend most of her time with us, but now she’s barely here and I miss her,” Tony says in a sad tone, which Dum-E answers with a low whirring noise, as if he’s expressing his own sadness about you not being there. From the moment Tony introduced Dum-E to you, you’ve always been happy to see him, even if he's just a robot who helps Tony out in his lab.

Then, as if his prayers were suddenly answered, Tony hears a soft knock on the glass leading to his lab. He turns his head around much too quickly, accidentally hurting his neck as he looks at who’s behind the glass. You.

Tony rubs his neck with a pained look as he orders JARVIS to open the door, and you slowly make your way into his lab so as to not accidentally knock into something or step on anything. As soon as you’re in his line of sight, he smiles at you, his insides being set on fire as his eyes find yours. The sparkle he sees is one he missed a lot over the past month, but he’s happy to see it again.

“You know, you could have just asked who’s at the door instead of hurting yourself over me. I’d rather not be the reason you’re in pain,” you say jokingly, and Tony smiles widely as he nods in response.

“I can’t help it, Beautiful. As soon as I heard a knock I was actually hoping it was you again,” he says, his voice rough from lack of use other than to grumble something to Dum-E. You walk over to stand behind him, so you’re able to massage his neck and shoulders a little, hoping to take away the worst of his pain in the process. He groans deeply when you work your usual magic, and you can’t help but clench your thighs at the sound of it.

“I’m glad to say your hopes have come true,” you say softly before finishing up and walking around him again to sit on your usual stool. This is when he finally noticed you’re wearing one of his MIT hoodies, the sleeves being much too long for your arms and the fit of it being very oversized, but it’s your favorite from the moment you first borrowed it. He cannot get enough of seeing you in it, and he’s more than happy to let you have his hoodie.

“Can I ask you something?” your gaze is focused on your fingers as you tug on the cuff of Tony’s hoodie. Tony’s brows furrow in a mix of worry and curiosity, but he hums to give you the go-ahead for your question.

“Will you come to a bar with us tonight? It’s been a while since you’ve come out of your lab, and I miss spending time with you. As much as I love spending time with you in your lab, I enjoy it even more when I get to experience fun things with you.” Your voice is soft, your gaze still focused on your lap as he lets the words sink in. You hear his chair rolling forward, and one of his hands stops you from fiddling, while the other lifts your chin gently, making you look at him.

“I- I’m sorry for not leaving my lab as much, Beautiful. It didn’t occur to me that this was going on, but to make it up to you I’ll gladly come out of here and have drinks with everyone. And if you want, we can also order some take-out and eat it together in my penthouse while we watch a movie,” Tony offers, and the corners of your mouth lift into a hopeful smile.

“I’d love nothing more, Tony! I’ll go tell the others you’re coming tonight and I’ll be in your penthouse at 7,” you tell him, to which he nods in answer. His thumb gently strokes your fingers, and you don’t want to go just yet, so the two of you stay for a little bit longer, letting the moment last a few more moments before he pulls back, allowing you to share the news with everyone.

“Thank you for everything, Tony. I’m looking forward to dinner,” you say before leaning down and pressing a kiss to his cheek, which results in a deep red blush on his face, making him look adorable. As promised, you’re at his penthouse at 7, and much to your surprise, he has ordered your favorite pasta, and the movie you two love to watch is ready to be played. He has thought of everything, and you couldn’t be more grateful.

After dinner, you and Tony both got ready to go to the bar, and while he went for a casual outfit, you opted for a black jumpsuit with a low-cut neckline and a pair of heels, accentuating all your favorite parts of your body in the best way possible. What you didn’t expect, however, is Tony’s reaction as soon as he saw you walking in to meet everyone before you’re heading out to the bar.

An audible gasp filled the room when everyone went silent as they took in your outfit, and Tony quickly hid behind the marble counter in the kitchen, his knuckles turning bright white as his cheeks burn to a bright red color as he’s trying his hardest to get his boner to go down. He’s had this reaction to you walking in and looking like this before, but each time it’s still embarrassing, as he feels like a teenage boy with a massive crush on a girl in his class.

“Hi everyone, you’re all looking amazing,” you say as you walk into the room, most of them dressed in their comfortably casual clothes, but when you look over at Tony, you can’t help but raise your eyebrows in concern. He almost looks like he’s in pain, and you quickly make your way over to him to see if everything is okay.

“Tony, what’s going on? Is it something with your arc reactor? I can have a look at it right now if you want-” is all you can say, but he just shakes his head, his cheeks feeling hotter with every passing moment. He’s praying that you’re not seeing the hard-on he has for you, but you’re so close it’s almost impossible not to.

“I think he’s a big fan of the way you look tonight, Detka,” Natasha pipes up, her signature grin flashed at you when you’re looking over at her. If it were possible, Tony would have been swallowed by the ground as he’s still trying his hardest to hide, but it’s becoming more and more impossible with every second. Then, it suddenly clicks what Natasha talks about, and you stammer a sorry before stepping back with equally hot cheeks.

“I- Oh my god, I’m so sorry, Tony! I didn’t mean to embarrass you-”

“It- It’s okay, Beautiful,” Tony groans, the fabric of his jeans shifting across his painfully hard length, and he feels like he’s going to blow any second now.

“Just go ahead without me, I- I have some business to take care of,” he says with his most convincing smile, and you whisper a soft okay before walking out of the kitchen with the other Avengers, Natasha by your side the entire time. The entire time, she can’t stop smiling, and your curiosity is getting the best of you.

“What’s going on with you? You haven’t been able to stop smiling like… this the entire time,” you say as you point at her face, but she shakes her head in response.

“I just can’t believe that you two won’t admit it already. You’re both horny for each other-” is all you can say before you put your hand over her mouth, silencing her with the gesture. A small whimper escapes her lips as you do it, the move catching her off-guard as you two come to a standstill, the other Avengers continuing without noticing you two.

“We’re not horny for each other, Nat! We’re just friends, and you know it!” you hiss at her when the others are out of earshot. As you hear the words fill the air, you can’t help but think that it’s all a big lie, because you have been fantasizing about Tony more than once when you had some time to yourself at night, but she doesn’t need to know that.

“Oh come on, you two are practically undressing each other with your eyes each time you’re in the same room together. And based on Tony’s reaction, he really enjoys the way you look tonight.” As you listen to her words, your cheeks are set on fire, her words ringing more true than ever before. It’s only now that you realize why Tony was hiding the way he did, and what kind of business he meant.

While you’re one of the smartest people in the field of nanotechnology, you’re not always the best in picking up these kinds of social cues, and embarrassment is settling in more and more the longer you look at your best friend. Suddenly, everything clicks in your mind and you finally realize that Tony has feelings for you, too.

“I’m sorry for the interruption, ladies. Are you both ready to go?” Tony asks with a smile, his voice causing goosebumps on your entire body. After a nod, the three of you walk outside to join the others who were waiting, and it doesn’t take long for everyone to be sitting in a large booth in your favorite bar, and you’re settled in next to Tony thanks to Natasha.

Each time one of you moves and your arms touch, you’re both flushed like a lobster, and each time he leans in a little closer to hear what you’re saying, you can’t help but let your gaze fall to his pink lips. The entire time, you’re clenching your thighs, too, as the closeness you’re now experiencing is intoxicating in its own right, and you’re wanting him more and more with each drink that passes your lips.

Then, out of nowhere, Tony leans in close to whisper something in your ear, and you’re getting full-body goosebumps when his voice drifts through the air like the most beautiful song you’ve ever heard, his voice soft as silk as he asks you a question. Not that you know what he’s saying when he’s this close, as your brain has gone into stand-by mode, every function of your body running on autopilot now.

“Mind catching some fresh air, Beautiful?” Tony whispers in your ear, his warm breath ghosting over the shell as you hold your glass tight, your eyes slipping shut as you listen to him. If it weren’t for the fact that you’re in a crowded bar, you’d definitely let out a deep moan at the sound of his voice, but you have just enough self-control left to not let that happen.

Once the words settle in your fuzzy brain, you nod slowly as you look into his eyes, the brown of his irises looking more beautiful than ever. For a moment, there’s nothing but you and him, all the voices drowned out as you’re getting lost in each other. Natasha cannot get enough of the sight in front of her, snapping a few photos with a wide grin as she looks at what’s happening between you two.

Eventually, Tony manages to rip his gaze away - much to your dismay, you could’ve stared into his eyes for the rest of the evening if he’d let you - to get up, his large, calloused hand outstretched in order to take your soft, small one. A zap of electricity shoots through your body as you make contact, a soft gasp falling from your lips. When you rise on your feet, he steadies you, as the high heels you’re wearing are not really working in your favor.

“Steady there, Beautiful,” he says as he encloses his hand around yours, holding it the entire time you’re both walking to the front door of the bar, the cool air already filling the room as you’re closer to the outside world. Holding his hand feels nothing short of right, and you can’t help but want to touch more of him, in any way you can. Running your fingertips over his muscles, letting your fingers glide through his messy hair, or wrapping your hand around his length as he groans deeply.

“I’ve been thinking about you, a lot,” Tony says as soon as you’re both outside, effectively pulling you out of your dirty daydream. For a moment, your brain is failing to comprehend what he’s saying, and you look at him with a goofy look as you try to understand what he means by it. Being this close to the man you love, combined with the alcohol you’ve consumed already, is taking a toll on your brain, though you’re trying your hardest to get it to work. Even if just for this conversation.

“Really?” Your voice is soft as you look at him, his heart swelling with love as he sees a sparkle in your eyes at his words.

“Hm-hmm. Been thinking about your pretty face, and your stunningly beautiful body.” As soon as the words leave his lips, he turns bright red at his confession, and you’re left with your mouth agape, his honesty bringing a fire to your cheeks as well as between your thighs. While Tony is known for being brutally honest - sometimes to a fault - you have never been on the receiving end of these kinds of comments before.

“You’re beautiful too, Tony. You’re a sight for sore eyes actually.” You reach out to touch his arc reactor and the muscles it’s encompassed by, but before your hand can make contact with his body he wraps his hand around your wrist , pulling you closer until there’s once again only a few inches between you both. Just like when you were trapped in the closet a month ago.

“You know what else I’ve been thinking about?” You shake your head, and he smirks before telling you exactly what’s been on his mind.

“The softness of your lips when we’re kissing, and how you will taste. The way we will fight over dominance with our tongues until there’s no air left in our lungs. Me pulling you closer until there’s no space left, and the way your fingers will pull my hair when we’re so hot and bothered that we cannot stop each other from ripping off clothes.”

As if your body is running on autopilot, you reach up to let your fingers glide into his hair, a soft groan leaving his lips as you do. While you’re not pulling yet, Tony’s pupils get bigger until they’ve taken over almost the entirety of his irises, lust visible as he pulls you flush against his body. His lips are mere millimeters from yours when you hear the door swing open, and a very recognizable voice cheers your names in excitement when she sees you both.

"Y/N! Tony! I missed you guys, you were suddenly gone and now here you are again!” Natasha exclaims excitedly, but you can’t help but feel disappointed when you step away from Tony, the heat of the moment you two shared is now gone. While you love her with all your heart, you wish she hadn’t interrupted you, as this would have been a perfect moment otherwise.

From the moment you and Tony have become mission partners, the bond between you also grew stronger, and there’s not a single person who you trust more than the man sitting beside you as you’re returning from a mission together. With this, his protectiveness has also grown, and not just on the battlefield, but outside of it as well. He’s always looking out for you wherever you two go, and this mission wasn’t any different.

“I can’t believe you actually ran into that building to help that man. It was on fire for crying out loud!” Tony says as he puts the Quinjet on autopilot. You shrug as you get comfortable in the seat next to him, your legs stretched out as you’re taking full advantage of the leg room.

“You would’ve done the same thing, Tony, don’t act like you wouldn’t. We both know I did the right thing by saving him, and I got out of the house unscathed,” you tell him matter-of-factly, and even though he knows you’re right, he doesn’t like it when you put yourself in situations like this, and he’s not afraid to let you know about this, either.

“That may be so, but I still think I should’ve gone in instead of you. At least I have a suit that protects me,” he bounces back at you, and you know he’s right. Still, you’re proud of what you have accomplished, and you close your eyes as you take a moment to yourself. It’s become a bit of a ritual as you take the time to decompress, but there’s something else on your mind that you can’t shake off.

“Tony?”

“Hmm?” The hum is soft as he turns his head to face you, a small smile on his lips as he takes in your beauty.

“Do you ever think about that night at the bar? And what might have happened if Natasha didn’t interrupt us?” The nerves are swirling through your stomach, and it feels like the butterflies are having a good time in there as you meet his gaze. Your heartbeat rises, and your cheeks start to burn as you fiddle with your fingers to distract yourself just a little.

In turn, Tony’s cheeks turn bright red at your question, because he has thought about that moment a lot, and he has never been able to find a way to bring it up without completely embarrassing himself. There’s a silence between you two as he thinks over his answers, and you’re not at all disappointed by his words.

“I have thought about it a lot, actually. It’s been on my mind nearly 24/7, and it sometimes makes me unable to function normally. When I’m doing very simple things like taking a shower or eating some breakfast in my lab you’re always on my mind, but when I’m working on my suit or my arc reactor, you’re also the main thing on my mind. It’s all-consuming in the best way possible, and I honestly wouldn’t want it any other way,” he says as he looks at you with an admiring gaze.

“And… And what is it you think about? When you think about me, I mean?” Before you can think about it, your curiosity takes over as you ask the question, and Tony blushes even harder, the redness now creeping to his neck as he rearranges his position so he can get comfortable again.

“What I mainly think about is what life looks like with you as my girlfriend, and as my wife. From the first  moment I met you, I knew I would get to marry you. No matter how long it would take, or how many people I would have to fight in order for it to come true. But-” he hesitates for a moment, unsure if he should lay out the rest of his thoughts.

“But?”

“But I also think about you carrying my babies. How gorgeous you’ll look when you’re pregnant with my babies, and a giant rock on your finger that is fit for a queen. Because that’s exactly what you are, Beautiful. You’re the Queen in my world, and I think you deserve to be treated like one, too. And there’s nothing more I would love than to take you out on a date so I can show you what that feels like. Even if it’s just for one night, I want to show you how I will treat you when you’re mine, and show you how a Queen is treated.”

For a long moment you take the time to think it over in your head, though you deep inside already know the answer. There’s nothing more you want than everything Tony is willing to offer you.

“I’d love to share a night with you so you can show me what it’s like. It’ll be a dream come true,” you say with a broad smile, a sparkle in your eyes that is only reserved for the man you love. Tony smiles widely too, his eyes shining back at you with nothing but pure love, and you still can’t believe you’ll actually go on a date with your mission partner and best friend.

Then, he reaches for your hand, and you place it in his before he brings it to his lips, his facial hair tickling slightly as he presses a soft kiss on it. Your heart feels like it’s about to leap out of your chest at the gesture, your cheeks on fire as you look at everything that’s happening. Before either one of you can say anything, JARVIS lets you both know that you’re about to land, and Tony returns to handling the Quinjet again, while you’re on cloud nine.

In the days leading up to Valentine’s Day, you and Tony could barely stay apart from one another. Every waking moment you two spend together, whether it is in his lab, the gym or anywhere else doing your own thing, you two are inseparable. Now, the evening before Valentine’s Day, you have offered to watch a romantic comedy with all the Avengers, though you barely have eyes for the screen.

“I still can’t believe you said yes to going on a date with me,” Tony whispers in your ear as you’re cuddled up in the back of the theater room with him. All the others are sprawled out in front of you watching the screen, but you’re still trying to keep as quiet as possible, so you won’t attract any attention to yourself.

He keeps peppering your cheek in kisses to try and make you giggle, which didn’t go unnoticed by Natasha as she looked over a couple of times, but decided against saying anything. She’s more than happy to see you two this close, especially after you told her all about the date you’ll go on tomorrow.

“It’s impossible to say no to you, Tony. I would be stupid if I said anything other than yes,” you tell him, and his cheeks turn red, which thanks to the darkness in the room is barely noticeable. Still, he feels the burning on his cheeks, and you can’t help but smile up at him with a loving gaze. He’s head over heels in love with you, and it is becoming more clear with every passing second.

“I’m glad you think so, Beautiful, but you’re always allowed to say no if I ever do something you’re not comfortable with. You know that, right?” he asks, his tone serious as he looks at you. As you try and suppress the whimper that wants to escape, you nod in response, and he smiles before gently kissing your forehead.

Then, he pulls you closer against him, your hand resting on his arc reactor while he is drawing abstract figures on your arm. The rest of the movie you two spend in each other’s arms, and when you fall asleep in the last stretch of the movie, Tony smiles before kissing the top of your head and whispering a soft ‘sleep well, Beautiful.’

“I’m going to bring Y/N to her room, she fell asleep during the movie so I will see you all later,” Tony says as he holds you in his arms bridal style. The entire trip to your room is going too quickly for his liking, but as soon as he’s tucked you into bed, he leans in for a last kiss on your forehead, his lips lingering for a few seconds before he leaves again.

“Sleep well, my beautiful Angel. I love you,” he whispers before getting up and leaving your room, not knowing you heard him say that, though you will never admit it to anyone. This will forever be between you and him, and you can’t stop smiling until you finally fall asleep again, excitement for your date tomorrow even more present now.

The next morning, you’ve decided to have brunch with Natasha in your room in anticipation of the date with Tony, so you can talk through your gameplan, as well as get ready with her. From the moment you joined the Avengers, she has been very helpful and kind, and it has grown into a strong friendship over time. Now, you two spend all the time you’re not with Tony together, though it hasn’t been as often after Tony asked you out.

Right when you’re done getting dressed - a pair of sport leggings and Tony’s MIT hoodie being your outfit of choice - you hear a few knocks on your door, but the person on the other side isn’t who you were expecting.

“Tony? Why- I mean, hi. What are you doing here?” you ask in bewilderment, as you were expecting Natasha to be standing in his spot. Still, you’re more than happy to see him, even if it’s unexpected.

“I couldn’t wait until tonight to see you, Beautiful. I’ve been tinkering in my lab nearly the entire night out of excitement, and I… well… I wanted to see you,” he admits shyly, his cheeks reddening once more. The flush on them makes his boyish charm more present than ever, your heart beating even faster as you look at him. It’s impossible not to be in love with him, and you can’t help but smile at the sight of him.

“It’s okay, Tony. I’m actually glad you stopped by because I was thinking of going down to your lab later to ask you what I should wear tonight,” while it wasn’t completely untrue, it wasn’t the sole reason you were planning on heading down there later. You were also hoping to see him before tonight as well, to see how excited he is for tonight.

“Well- uhm-” he rubs the back of his neck nervously as he thinks of an answer that isn’t ‘nothing’, the thought of you being nude in front of him being one that’s hard to push to the back of his mind.

“I think you should wear whatever you feel most beautiful and confident in. If you want to show up in a pair of pajamas that’s okay, but if you want to show up in the tightest dress and highest heels you own that’s fine too.” The blush on his cheeks now spreads to his neck and chest as he tries his hardest to maintain eye contact with you, but it’s difficult when you set every single inch of him on fire.

“In that case, I think I have a nice outfit in mind for tonight. But don’t worry, I won’t show up in pajamas, I’ll save that for movie nights when I fall asleep again,” you tell him with a wink, and he smiles at the thought of you falling asleep by his side not too long ago.

“Perfect. I- uhm… I should go and- and get ready.” Before you can say goodbye, Tony has practically bolted out of your room, though you don’t know it’s to hide the fact that he’s been getting harder and harder at the thought of seeing you in a tight dress and high heels. His mind has gone into overdrive, and he can’t help but give himself a hand when he’s in his penthouse, your name a chant throughout the air the entire time.

Now, Tony’s cheeks are flushed for a completely different reason when he steps into the shower, the thought of you never quite leaving his mind. As soon as he’s done he’s running around his penthouse to get everything ready for tonight, and the private chef he hired to cook a delicious dinner arrives not long after, giving him a little piece of mind.

In the meantime, Natasha has finally shown up at your apartment, armed with two large coffees and a large breakfast spread to get you both through the entire process of getting ready. After many hours of gossip, reassurance and cheerleading, you’re finally ready for your date, and you’re getting increasingly nervous the closer it gets. As you’re wearing a pair of black jeans, a beautifully dark red, lacey top and black heels, combined with a dark make-up look with dark red lips, you couldn’t feel more confident, all due to Natasha’s help.

“Good luck tonight, and I don’t expect to see you anytime soon,” she says with a wink, as you two have been discussing the possibility of sleeping over at Tony’s apartment after the date. While it’s not a given it’ll happen, you still like to be prepared all the same, and now it’s officially time to head up to Tony’s penthouse.

As the elevator takes you up there, Tony is rocking back and forth on his feet, nerves settling in as he looks at his watch at every possible moment. Even though there’s still 10 minutes before you two said you would be there, he’s already impatiently waiting by the elevator, hoping you will be early. Much to his delight you are indeed early, and the elevator doors open to a beautiful sight of fairy-lights and dimmed lighting, giving it a romantic look.

And then, there’s Tony. He’s dressed from head to toe in a black suit, though his glasses are the exception as he went for a beautiful, dark red pair that compliments your outfit perfectly. It’s as if it was meant to be, and you’re curious what else this night has in store for you.

“Wow…” is the first thing you hear when the elevator doors open. In front of you is Tony who is dressed like a true god, a small, rectangular box in his hands as he takes his time to take in the sight of you in front of him. A small smile slowly spreads on his face as you step in, your heart feeling like it’s about to beat out of your chest with every step you take.

“You look amazing tonight. Dare I say, you look Beautiful,” he says with his signature smirk and a suggestive wink, your cheeks burning from his compliment and the clever use of the nickname he only reserves for you. You whisper a small thank you as you step closer, and you’re greeted by Tony as he places a soft kiss on your heated cheek. As he pulls back, you can’t stop smiling at the feeling of it, happiness filling every single inch of your being.

“I got you something as a little surprise. And as a thank you for agreeing to this date, as well.”

As he hands you the small box, you can’t open it quick enough for your liking, curiosity building as you reveal a necklace with a small version of his first arc reactor on it, of which the big one is proudly displayed in his office after Pepper gifted it to him with the inscription “Proof that Tony Stark has a heart”. It’s where your bond started, and you chuckle as you take a good look at it.

“I can’t believe you got me a miniature version of your arc reactor, Tony! Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore it, but I also can’t believe you would do something like this for…well… me,” you say softly as you close the box, a softness in your eyes that’s only reserved for the man in front of you. His brows are furrowed as he takes in your words, as he can sense a bit of self consciousness in your words.

Without saying a word, he gently cups your cheeks to raise your gaze to meet his, the warmth of your cheeks feeling nice against his large, calloused hands.

“There’s not a single thing on this earth I wouldn’t do for you, Beautiful. If you’d ask me to go to the other side of the world I would without a second thought. If you’d ask me to go to the moon and back ten times in a day, I’ll figure out a way to do it. I’m giving you the necklace because you deserve it, and it reminds me of where it- where we started. It’s a token of my appreciation, and a reminder of why we’re here tonight.”

“Thank you,” you whisper almost inaudibly, but Tony smiles before leaning in and placing a lingering kiss on your forehead. Your eyes slip shut as you hold the box in your hands, and you can’t help but let out a sigh when he lets you go, the warmth of his lips gone with him as he takes a step back. You couldn’t have wished for a better start of your date, and you’re looking forward to everything else he has planned.

“Will you do me the honor of following me to the dining room? I ensured we will have the most delicious dinner you will have ever had, and I can’t wait to hear all your thoughts on it,” he says, and you nod before hooking your arm in his, your hand resting on his bicep as he leads you through his penthouse. There is a low tune playing in the background while the entire penthouse is filled with the most delicious smell of food, but it’s nothing compared to the table you’re seeing.

There’s a white tablecloth that’s decorated with silver and white plates, silver cutlery, red roses and a few candles, and a small menu on each plate that will tell you exactly what you will be enjoying throughout the evening. Then, Tony moves to pull back your chair, and you graciously sit down before he slides it back in, allowing you to be seated first.

During the course of your meal, you and Tony have some light-hearted conversation, but you also discuss some deeper topics like inclusivity in the field of nanotechnology. It’s always been something you have struggled with as a woman in a male dominated field, but Tony has always been an advocate for women in the field of tech.

“Honestly, the worst part of this inclusivity issue is that men assume I’m unintelligent, or at least less intelligent than they are just because I’m a woman. It’s definitely why I keep pushing myself in the field of nanotech and why I wrote the article about nanotechnology in the human body, and while many people have noticed my ‘intelligent’ side as they call it, there’s still many that haven’t, or they’re too ignorant to want to notice.”

As you talk about it, Tony can sense your frustration so he reaches for your hand, and without a second thought you put yours in it to calm yourself down. The way he holds it so lovingly makes you feel less and less angry with every passing second, and the way he attentively listens and nods along is something you’re very grateful for.

“You’ve been working hard all your life, Beautiful, and I’m extremely proud of you for doing so. Inclusivity in the field of tech will always be an issue, but I’m happy to go against that and work with you. You’re the most intelligent and beautiful woman I know. Without you, I might not have been alive to tell the tale of it all, as the earlier versions of my arc reactor could have killed me by now, but I’m here because of you, and I can’t thank you enough for that.”

“You have practically given me a new lease on life, and I plan to make every single second count. That’s exactly why I would like to dance with you.” He gets up from his chair while still holding your hand, and you get up as well, a large smile on your face as he pulls you on your feet. Then, as you’re getting closer to him, you feel your heartbeat steadily rising, your cheeks heating in excitement at the closeness.

As you slowly sway back and forth, your gazes are locked on one another, a smile on your lips as you enjoy the moment. Not a single care in the world, only you, Tony and the music that fills the room around you. The clicking of your heels on the floor slowly fades away with the music as his eyes go from yours, to your lips and back up, his intention clear as day. Without saying another word, you both lean in, meeting in the middle to experience your first kiss with the man you love.

You two have been building up to this moment for years, and the outcome is even more satisfactory than you could have ever wished as his soft lips work in tandem with yours, everything around you two forgotten. His fingers dig into your hips as you open your mouth, allowing his tongue to dance with yours, a soft moan being swallowed as he pulls you closer against his body. The temperature in the room slowly rises as you gently rake your nails through the hair on the nape of his neck, and the sexual tension between you is finally reaching an all-time high.

“God, I’ve been dying to feel your lips against mine, Beautiful - it was like tasting heaven. And I can’t help but notice that you say you don’t love me, but you kissed me back like you did,” he says in a playful tone, referencing all the times you have told everyone you’re not in love with him. Each time someone asked about it, you always said you love him like a best friend or a brother, but nothing could be further from the truth, because you’ve been in love with Tony for years now.

“I- I do love you, Tony. I have, for as long as I can remember, and I’m stupid for not saying anything sooner-”

Before you can finish your sentence, your air is kicked from your lungs as he cups your cheeks and kisses you again, effectively making you shut your mouth in the best way possible. You melt in his hold as you two take your time to explore each other’s mouths, the feeling of desire growing with every passing second. A pang of disappointment fills your chest when he pulls back again, though it won’t last long.

“I love you too, Beautiful. I love the way you smile and how you laugh when I make silly jokes. I love how your nose scrunches when you’re deep in thought or concentrated, but most of all, I love you. I’ve wanted to say this for such a long time, and I’m glad the universe finally let us do our thing,” he says with a smile, making you laugh out loud.

This moment has been a long time coming, but it has been worth every single second of the wait now that you’re finally telling him about your true feelings.

The moment you felt Tony’s mattress underneath you is one you often fantasize about in moments of need, as it has given you a whole lot of pleasure each time. Still, none of those moments will ever live up to the amount of pleasure he’s about to give you tonight, as he has made it his mission to make your first time one never to forget. After slowly peeling every last layer of your clothes - leaving you entirely bare for him - he does the same to himself, and you can’t help but bite your lip as he pulls down his pants.

“You like what you see, don’t you?” he asks, his confidence shooting to an all-time high as he sees the look of lust on your face. Every last inch of his long, thick cock is beautifully displayed between his thick thighs, your eyes roaming over the veins running all along making you want to give him the blowjob of his life before swallowing every last drop of his sweet cum as he shouts your name.

“You know I do,” you say as you slide towards the edge of the bed, your pussy dripping and your nipples pebbling as you get closer to where you want to touch him most. Nothing will ever compare to his beauty, but when the moonlight hits him the way it does now, he looks downright angelic.

“Can I have a little taste before we move on?” you ask softly, a hint of innocence in your voice he can’t resist.

“Fuck, if you keep this up, I won’t last long.” His words are followed by a deep groan as you reach out to him, your hand barely wrapping around the base of his cock. For a moment you keep it there as you look up in order to look at Tony’s reaction. His eyes are shut as his hands are balled up by his side, though the muscles in his abdomen are tensed as he tries his hardest to not cum yet.

Without saying a single word, you make a move that nearly drives Tony up the wall of pleasure as you start stroking him from the root of his length to his tip, while you take his soft, pink tip in your mouth to suck away the beads of pre-cum, a soft moan leaving your lips as you do. In an automatic move, he reaches for your head to keep you there but also ground himself, as he didn’t expect this in the slightest.

His head falls back as he groans deeply with his teeth clenched, his hips moving on their own volition as he thrusts his length into your mouth. The feeling of your mouth and hand on his cock are overwhelming in the best way possible, and it is better than anything he could have ever imagined. Your hand slowly makes its way up and down the hard flesh, his veins adorning it beautifully as you move the velvety skin back and forth.

“Tastes so good,” you murmur before taking him into your mouth again, slowly working more and more into your mouth as he tries his hardest to keep his orgasm away. The heat of your mouth compared to the softness of his hand and the nails digging into his ass are ensuring his brain turns off, and all he can do is moan, groan and chant your name as you work him towards his first orgasm of the evening.

“Please- Just- fuck! Just the tip, Beautiful. Give some love to the tip and I’ll cum for you, give you every last drop of my cum like you want,” he pants, his chest rising and falling quickly as you look up at him, your mouth still enclosed around his cock. You hum, which makes an electric spark shoot down his spine, before pulling back and doing exactly as he asks.

“That’s it, good girl,” he praises you, making you moan as you clench your thighs, the praise immediately going to your desperate pussy. While you’ve always had a thing for praise, it’s even more powerful coming from Tony, which he has stored in the back of his mind for future reference. As soon as you’re in position, he instructs you to play with his balls the way he likes, and with a deep groan you can feel and taste the first spurts of his warm cum on your tongue.

“Hmmm, you’re such a good girl for me! Following my instructions so well, playing with my balls as you suck on the tip. Gonna give you all my cum, Beautiful, you can have it all to swallow and enjoy.” He takes his time to work himself through his orgasm as you happily swallow every last drop of his large load, a satisfied smile on your lips when you finally pull back to release his now soft cock.

“And here I thought I couldn’t possibly love you more than I already did,” Tony says as he lifts your chin with his index finger, his lips capturing yours as he bends over for a mindblowing kiss that has him moaning at the taste of himself in your mouth.

“Such a beautiful girl who knows how to put her mouth to good use in more than one way, I have to say, I’m definitely the luckiest guy on Earth to be spending my night with you,” he says as he guides you to lie back on the bed, taking his place between your now spread legs in the process. The entire time, his gaze is locked on your dripping, pink pussy as he licks his lips, anticipation going through his entire body as he takes his time admiring you.

Once you find a comfortable spot on the bed, your head on the pillows and your legs spread as wide as you can to accommodate the man between them, he smiles up at you before moving any further. He takes in the moment before he’s about to ruin you in the best way possible, wanting to commit this moment of beauty to memory as the moonlight highlights your soft skin beautifully through the large floor-to-ceiling windows of his penthouse.

“Ready to be the subject of the best body worship you’ve ever experienced? This sweet, delicious, dripping pussy and amazing body deserve to be worshipped every single day, and I want to show you exactly how I’d do it if you’re mine,” he offers, and you nod with burning cheeks from his admiring gaze. Still, you can’t help but notice he said if you’re his, because you’ve always been his from the moment you met.

“I am yours, Tony,” you say softly, and his gaze immediately snaps up to meet yours.

“I always have been wholeheartedly yours. There’s no one else I want more than you, and no one else I’m more in love with than you. I love you, Tony, and I want to grow old with you.”

For a long moment, the words hang in between you two as he lets the words settle in, but when it finally does he smiles widely, his cheeks turning red from excitement and knowing you’re his girlfriend, and he’s your boyfriend. His dream is coming true, and your Valentine’s Day has quickly turned into one to never forget. As you push yourself forward to lean on your elbows, you lean in to let your fingers glide over his hot cheeks, you can’t help but smile.

“I love making you so flustered, you get so cute when you’re like this,” you tell him, which causes the flush on his cheeks to intensify even more, though in response he buries his face between your thighs, his tongue dragging a long stripe from your dripping entrance to your sensitive clit, his facial hair adding the perfect amount of stimulation as you fall on your back with a loud moan of his name.

His arms wrap around your thighs to hold you in place as he expertly works his magic on your clit, his lips wrapping around and sucking when his tongue isn’t delving into your wanting pussy, your walls clenching and pulsing around him as your body grinds against his face while every last thought of yours melts away under his touch.

“Tony-” His name sounds like honey as it falls from your lips when you’re nearing your high.

“I- I want you to keep- keep going forever!” you nearly scream as he lets one of your thighs go in order to work two of his thick digits into your pussy, which is exactly what sends you over the edge. His expertly timed thrusts of his fingers together with the stimulation on your sensitive clit has you screaming his name and clutching to the sheets as your back arches, pushing you even closer to his face as he works you through a mindblowing, trembling orgasm.

While you thought you have had amazing orgasms before, you have never experienced anything like you are now with Tony, as it is starting to become an out-of-body experience. Your mind has also gone entirely blank as you try to catch your breath, and you only move after you feel Tony flopping down on the bed beside you, pulling you against his side so you can catch up with everything that’s happening.

“Having fun so far, Beautiful?” he asks as he places kisses on your head, and you nod with a shy smile as you let your fingers glide over his chest and the scars surrounding his arc reactor. The warmth of his body against yours makes your eyes feel heavy, and together with the abstract figures he’s drawing on your soft skin, you’re soon finding yourself in a light slumber in his arms.

After you’ve woken up for your sleep - during which Tony has not left your side for a single second - the two of you had a talk about what the rest of the night will have in store for you, and you expressed wanting to go a step further, but on one condition.

“I- uhm… I hope it’s okay with you, but I prefer having sex with a condom-” is all you can say before Tony stops you in your sentence.

“Beautiful, I’m sorry for interrupting you, but I need you to know something, okay? There’s not a single thing I would do without your consent. If you told me you’d want to go take a shower and go to sleep I would be more than happy to turn it on, wash your hair and dry you off at the end, and if you’d tell me you’d rather sleep in your own room than do anything else, that’s also okay. Yes, I am completely okay with using a condom, as your pleasure and safety comes before anything I want. Okay?"

His thumb rubs your cheekbone as he’s on his side, his voice soft as he explains his side of it.

“Okay. Then… Then I’d be more comfortable if we use a condom for the first time. I love you deeply, Tony, and one day I will definitely want to experience what it’s like to make love without one, but tonight is not going to be that night. What do you think?”

“I think that it’s perfect,” he whispers before placing a kiss on your forehead, making you smile before he turns onto his other side to pull a condom from his nightstand. He quickly rips open the package before stroking his half-hard cock to full hardness - for which he only needs three strokes at the sight of you - and rolling it on, effectively protecting both of you before your official first time.

“I love you, Beautiful. And I promise to go slow, okay? If anything hurts, or you want to stop, please let me know and I’ll stop immediately. How does that sound?”

“Perfect.” He leans down to capture your lips with his, but instead of giving you the kiss you were expecting he nibbles on your bottom lip, which has you clutching onto his arms before he has even done anything. When he pulls back, you immediately catch his gaze, your pupils blown with lust as he looks at you. Then, like a true gentleman, he takes his time sliding in for the first time, constantly checking in as he does.

“How’re you feeling, Beautiful?” he asks as he’s fully inside you, your pussy gripping him like a vice as he allows you to get used to every inch of him inside you. The fact that he’s taken his time and kept talking you through it all has you floating on cloud nine, and you don’t ever want to come down if he keeps treating you the way he is now.

“Good,” you tell him, your voice barely above a whisper. You reach up to cup his cheeks, pulling him in for a kiss that leaves you both breathless by the time he pulls back. Every single one of your senses is turned to its highest capacity in this moment, and your entire body feels like it’s on fire in the best way possible as he gently starts thrusting, earning himself a long moan in response.

“You feel so fucking good, Beautiful. Feels like heaven,” he says as he nuzzles his face into your neck, his body working in tandem with yours as he lavishes the sensitive skin of your neck with small kisses. Your hands slide into his hair, and when he picks up the pace of his thrusts, you tug on the roots, making your boyfriend groan deeply in response.

“Do that again, please! Pull my hair again,” he nearly begs, and you do as he asks while he keeps upping the pace of his thrusts. Each time he hits your sweet spot with his cock, you moan his name louder and louder while also tugging harder until you’re on the brink of another orgasm, needing a few more thrusts to fall over the edge.

“Pull my hair, Beautiful. I’m so fucking close- Pull it and I’ll cum with you,” he pants in time with his thrusts, his body adorned with a thin layer of sweat as he bed starts to creak louder, too. The only thing you can think about is Tony and the way he makes you feel as you’re close to your climax. With one last pull on his dark locks, he screams your name as he fills the condom he’s wearing, wishing he could fuck it into you, instead.

“Yeah, that’s it! Cum on my cock, squeezing me like a vice. Good fucking girl,” he praises you while trying not to crush you under his weight as he rides out both your orgasms. You’re trembling from the force of the orgasm washing over you, and the stars you saw on the edges of your vision slowly disappear when you’re coming back to earth, too, your breathing still ragged as you’re holding onto Tony.

“I love you, Beautiful. So, so much. Wish I’d said something much sooner,” he says as he presses his forehead against yours. The love, adoration and lust are all still visible in his gaze, but you couldn’t agree more. You also wish you had said something sooner, as you’re finally able to live your dream with Tony by your side as your partner.

One of the most important parts of intimacy for both you and Tony is aftercare, during which you can both decompress and catch your breath after everything that just happened. Your first time with Tony was nothing short of spectacular, and you can’t help but look back at everything while you’re snuggled in his arms while the hot water of the bath he has drawn is keeping you warm, while simultaneously relaxing your sore muscles and joints.

“I still can’t really believe we just did that. We had sex for the first time together! Sex! It’s not like I never fantasized about it, but to know I actually got to share this intimate part of myself with you is… beautiful,” you say with a smile, thinking about all the times he has used that word to describe you.

“Hmm, you have fantasized about us, huh? And what else has been going on in that brain of yours aside from our work together? Now you got me curious what my girlfriend thinks about when I’m not with her,” he says as he kisses your temple, a goofy grin on his face the entire time.

“If you must know, I’ve been thinking about what it would be like if we did it in all sorts of positions and in different places, too. The shower, your lab,” as you admit that last part, you can’t help but blush as it is where you usually spend most time with him. It’s become his natural habitat of sorts, and each time you think about what it would be like to have sex with him in there, you can’t help but touch yourself to the thought.

“Maybe we should put it on a list of adventures. Having sex in my lab,” Tony says suggestively as he rubs your thighs, his thumbs caressing the soft, sensitive skin of your inner thighs. It leads to full-body goosebumps, and you’re already looking forward to this fantasy becoming a reality.

“Yeah,” you say as your eyes slip shut, the feeling of his hands on you being enough to melt every thought away. The rest of the night, you and Tony keep feeding each other the fruits he has brought between sharing more fantasies and stories, making the night come to a perfect ending. As soon as the bath water started turning cold, you both got out before drying off and heading back to his king size bed, where you will enjoy more cuddles before falling asleep again in his arms.

The next morning, you’re woken up by the sun illuminating the bedroom through the floor-to-ceiling windows, and you can’t help but look at your boyfriend as the sun makes his skin look like a golden sculpture of pure perfection. His chest rises and falls with every breath, his arc reactor shining beautifully in the sun’s warm rays as well.

“Good morning, Beautiful,” you hear after a while, and you instantly smile before looking over at Tony as he’s still waking up. He’s never been a morning person, but seeing you first thing in the morning shifts his mood drastically, as he doesn’t mind waking up early as he sees you.

“Good morning,” you whisper before leaning in and giving him a lingering kiss, the events of last night still fresh on your mind. His arms wrap around you to pull you on top of him with a squeal, making him chuckle as you get comfortable.

“You were much too far away for my liking. Figured I’d do something about it,” he says, and you smile before leaning in for more kisses. This is something you can both get used to, and the mornings suddenly got a whole lot better now that you’re waking up next to the love of your life.

“How did you sleep? I’m sure it must have been nice to not sleep alone in this ginormous bed of yours,” you tease him, and he nods.

“I slept amazing, but I have a feeling that the lovemaking we did last night also had something to do with that. I couldn’t have wished for a more perfect first time. And to top it all off, now I don’t have to think of ridiculous reasons to see you. Now I can just go and see my girlfriend whenever I miss her, which is going to be all the time, by the way.”

“I’ll miss you all the time too, so I’m happy to see you even more now,” you seal your words with another kiss, but then you suddenly remember the plans you had made with Natasha, and you scramble out of bed as quickly as you can, leaving Tony lying there alone and a little confused about what’s going on.

“I- I’m sorry for getting out of bed like this, but I promised Natasha I would have breakfast with her to talk… well… to talk about our date, and I’m already 2 hours late!” you say with bright red cheeks as you pull on one of Tony’s boxer briefs - your own panties completely ruined from last night - and one of his oversized hoodies.

“Beautiful, can you come here for a moment?” he asks as he’s sitting up with his legs thrown over the side of the bed, and you stop in your tracks before looking at him. As you go to stand between his legs, he rubs his large hands over the backs over your thighs and ass to reassure you, and calm your thoughts down, as well.

“I’m pretty sure Natasha knows exactly where you are. She’s been trying to get us to hook up for a long time, so I think she’ll be very understanding of you being late. She’s not an unreasonable person. And I know for a fact she’s been spending the night with someone else as well, so you’re going to be totally fine. I promise.”

He always knows exactly the right thing to say, and you sigh softly before letting your fingers glide through his messy hair. 

“I’m still sorry for rushing out of bed the way I did. I didn’t mean to startle you,” you say, and he smiles at you with nothing but love in his gaze.

“It’s okay, Beautiful. I promise. Now, I would like to get my kisses before you run off and tell Natasha all about our date. I love you, and I can’t wait to see you again tonight during dinner,” he says, and you bend down to capture his lips with a smile, already looking forward to the moment you get to see him again. After a few last kisses you grab your stuff - giving Tony a perfect look at your ass as you do - and you head down to your apartment to get changed, and much to your surprise you run into Natasha as she’s on her way to her own room, too.

“It looks like we both have a lot to catch up on, huh?” you say jokingly, and she smiles widely before slipping past you and into her room. After a quick change into something more comfortable you head to the kitchen to grab some breakfast foods and coffee, ready to take them to Natasha’s room where you two can gossip all day.

“So?” is the first thing she says as soon as you’re in her room.

“So, I think I deserve to know who you spent the night with. I’ve rarely seen you this happy while sneaking into your room,” you say, to which she nods with a deep red blush on her cheeks. Her hair is pulled out of her face with a loose ponytail, which means she can’t hide behind her fiery red hair like she usually does.

“Fine, I spent the night with Bruce. Are you happy now?”

“I’m definitely happy, but I’d be even happier if you tell me everything about what happened! You two have been pining after one another for forever, so there must have been something in the air last night! First me and Tony, and now you and Bruce?!” This catches her attention at the mention of you and Tony, and it’s your turn to blush like crazy.

“You and Tony, hm? So you’re together?” You answer her question with a nod and a broad smile before gesturing for her to continue her story about her night with Bruce.

“I’m happy for you, Detka. You deserve to be loved by someone as amazing as Tony,” she smiles before grabbing one of the pastries you brought and getting into every last detail of her night with Bruce. It was almost as beautiful as your night with Tony, because nothing will ever top the experience you two shared last night. Well, until the day you find out you’ll become a Mom, but that’s something for the future-you to think about.

Now, you’re basking in the glory of your new relationship with the man you love.

[kookochan]

Messy Thoughts

Loving someone is scary sometimes. You think about every possibility that could happen, and the worst part is that it's making you feel like you're falling apart.

Summary: your fiancé decided to become a pro at boxing, but will your fears give you peace? +18

boxer Jungkook x fem! student reader

warnings/content: a little angst, smut (oral sex m receiving) , mention of blood and bruises, overthinking, jealousy, childhood trauma (violence, loss of a parent) and ghosting (?)

wc: 5,2K

── .✦

Days ago you were swearing to God that you wouldn't be here. You said you won't come to watch him and that you won't help him if he gets hurt. But here you are, sitting in a corner of the room and watching him. You think back at the time when you thought your life could change. Today you're sure that it was a lie. Not even a dream.

You can remember your 10th birthday, where you were sitting in your room and counting the seconds. Praying that your mother would survive the night while your father was beating her up. That wasn't the perfect birthday you imagined. But when your friends asked about it, you would say that it was perfect. That you got a lot of new dolls and plushies. A big cake that your parents baked for you.

Years went by with a hope that one day everything would change. The day your mother died, you couldn't even cry about the loss. In a twisted way, you were happy that she wasn't suffering anymore. It was a big loss for your father, who needed a new person to let out his stress. And there was you. In his eyes, a perfect copy of your mother.

You were different than your mother. She wouldn't talk back to him or fight him back. But you would yell at him every time he was yelling. You would weakly try to push him back when he tried to hit you. He wouldn't like that.

In your 17 years of living, you couldn't see the world in colors. There was no reason to hold on, and every other day you stopped dreaming of a new life. Till the day you met Jungkook. You were classmates, and the relationship started with being friends. And yes, you quickly caught feelings for him, which he returned with all of his heart.

You would climb up his window at night. Just for him to hold you and clean your wounds. He promised you that he will do everything to change your life. You would cry in his arms without realizing that he is crying too. He was the reason that you found your smile back.

When you turned 18, he proposed to move out with him. There wasn't a lot to think about. His family has a wealthy background, so they supported him with money. It wasn't jealousy, but you adored his family situation. They were truly lucky and loved. Moving out was a big step to your new life. You have lost contact with your father. He wasn't pleased about the idea of losing you, but you never listened to him.

And now you're 24 years old and he is 25. In the meantime, you got engaged, and you can't imagine a day without him. Your love grew stronger, and he became your favorite person in the world. But today you hate him for his decision. He is standing in the middle of the boxing ring. You can only see his eyes.

You take the room in. His opponent doesn't look like he is in the same weight class as him. Also, he is famous as the boxing beast. You're scared that this will be Jungkook's last match.

"You don't want to accept this offer, do you?" you ask him in shock. "Baby, I would get a lot of money, and also my status would change," he says and quickly grabs your hands to avoid you from walking away. You chuckle at him. "You can get hurt really bad, Jungkook. Don't you remember the match months ago? You needed to stay hospitalized because of your stupid decision." You can see that he is not liking the reminder.

"I know that you think about me, and I really appreciate it. But taking a risk is a part of my job," he says and places a kiss on your jaw. "I don't like where this conversation is going. You're not asking me, right? You made your mind, and you're just telling me," you say as you pull away from his hold. He quickly whines at the loss of contact. "I don't want to lie. I already accepted it and just need to sign. I promise you that I will be fine," he says with honesty. You make a pause before talking. "Okay, do what you want, and I swear to God, I will not come watching you," you say your final word and walk to the bathroom.

Sometimes you forget that he is a lot more stubborn than you. He signed that contract, and now you wait for the final round. The match was exciting for the audience. They were cheering along or screaming if they got angry.

The last match begins, and you shut your eyes. You don't want to see him get hurt. You have already seen the blood on his face, and it's enough. After some minutes, the round is over, and you're genuinely surprised that he won.

Jungkook's eyes are searching for you. He is happy that he won but also broken that he is standing here without your support. His eyes find you, and he smiles. "We need to go back," Namjoon says and pulls him away. "She came," he tells him happily. Namjoon turns to him. "She texted me yesterday and asked about today. Did you really think she wouldn't be here?" Jungkook grins at the information because, no, he really thought you wouldn't come. After all, you slept with your back facing him. He was so sad about it.

"Look at your ugly face," Jin says and starts cleaning the mess. "Woah, stop being so harsh," Jungkook says and starts pouting. Jin ignores him and goes on. You watch them from the door with a straight face. Of course you're happy that he was right at the end of the day, but that doesn't mean that you're happy with his decision. Your eyes wander from his head to his toes. He looks hot like this, but no, you can't melt.

Jungkook opens his eyes and meets yours. "Baby?!" he says with a smile. You feel your knees getting weak. "Hello, guys," you say to the others. Jin and Namjoon greet you back with a soft smile. You can see Jungkook frown, and you raise a brow at him. Poor man looks like he lost his whole career.

"Yn! Nice to see you, princess," Tae says and hugs you from the side. You smile at him and hug him back. "Nice to see you too. How are you?" you ask him. So you start a conversation with him. Jin looks at Jungkook's sad expression and says, "Come on, man, loosen up a bit. You can talk to her later." Jungkook nods to him and thinks of ways to get your attention.

•

You walk out of your bathroom with ointment and a towel. Jungkook took a shower before you and already sits on the large couch watching a show. You walk towards him, and his head turns towards you. He watches as you stand in front of him with wet hair. He doesn't waste time and holds your waist while looking into your eyes. You can't describe how cute he looks like this.

You sit down on his lap and start to treat his bruises on his face. He watches your hands doing their magic. "Are you still mad at me?" he asks softly. You sigh and pat his face with the damp towel. When you're sure that your job is done, you place everything on your side. "I am," you say with a pout. He brushes your hair with his fingers. "I'm sorry, baby. I don't want to make you worried," he says. You nod at him, "I know, and I also know that we talked about it a lot. I'm just scared."

He starts kissing your neck and shoulder. "I promise you that I will be fine and that I won't get hurt," he says. His fingers already started moving on your back. "That is an empty promise, Jungkook. You know that you can't control it," you say, tilting your head. He smiles at you, "I know, but I will do everything to hold my promise." You hug him tightly and think about all of this.

Jungkook knows that you're thinking a lot about his job. To be exact, since the day he told you that he wants to do it professionally. Boxing was his hobby, but he always dreamt of a big career. He started 2 years ago and is already ranked high. But he wants more; he is competitive. Sometimes you wish that he would return to his studies, but you know that's just selfish.

"How was your day?" he asks genuinely. "I skipped class. And I need to study for my exam next week. It's about Hamlet by Shakespeare," you answer. He pats your head. "You're always doing great, baby. Don't stress yourself too much," he says. You place a soft kiss on his neck. The little gesture causes goosebumps on his body.

"I missed you the whole night," he says with a pout on his face. You move back a little to look at him. "What? I was sleeping next to you." "You turned your back on me! I was so sad," he says with big eyes. You tilt your head and say, "You're so dramatic. But I know how to get your heart back." He watches as you move your hand over his chest, stopping at the waistband of his sweatpants.

You stand up from his lap to drop on your knees in front of him. His eyes darken immediately, and he starts playing with your hair. You waste no time in pulling his sweatpants down with his boxers. Before you can touch him, he stops you by holding your hand. He bends down to pull the carpet under your knees. "Get on it; you will hurt your knees." And this little gesture shows you once more why you love him.

When you're comfortable in the position, you start to touch his already hardened dick. He leans back at the sensation and watches your moves with half-lidded eyes. You start with little kitten licks before taking him into your mouth. He moans your name, and his hand quickly finds your hair. You've been dating him for longer than seven years, but you're still not used to his size. You bob your head the way you know he loves.

"You look so pretty, baby," he says while watching your already glassy eyes. He can't control himself and tightens his grip on your hair. "Relax your throat a little," he says and starts moving his hips at your pace. You place your hands on his thighs and tap him as a signal that he can take control. He catches the instruction quickly and takes control. "Such a good girl for me," he hisses. His pace quickens, and you moan at that. "Fuck," he says as he feels the vibration. It doesn't take him long to feel the heat rushing.

"I will come, baby," he says and tries to pull away. But you squeeze his free hand to let him know it's fine. He throws his head back, and you feel thick ropes filling your mouth. When he came down from his high, you slightly pulled away and swallowed his seed down. You laugh at his blown-out face and tug him back in his boxers and sweatpants.

"I love you," he says while smiling at you with those dangerous sparkling eyes. "I love you too," you say before standing up. "I want to thank you for this," he says and holds one of your legs so that you can't walk away. "You can thank me later. You need to rest and get more energy," you say. He pouts at that, but he knows that there is no chance of convincing you.

When you both lie down in bed, you're fast asleep. But some unshared things are holding him back from falling asleep. He looks at you with guilt bubbling in his stomach.

•

You highlight the last word and look at the whole page. "Fuck, I nearly highlighted the whole page," you say to yourself. Chemistry is your most hated subject, but you need to do this course for this semester. You already finished uni two hours ago, and now you're sitting at your part-time job. A little cafe on a busy street, but right now it's not that crowded. Enough time to study behind the desk.

"Hi princess! What's up?" You hear a familiar voice. You look up to see Tae and Namjoon waving at you. "Hii, I'm doing good, and you?" you ask and start doing their usual order. "It's a little stressful these days. You know all the booking and organization," he says, leaning on one of his arms. You nod at his words. "That sounds stressful. Where are you going?" you ask interestedly and hand him his coffee before preparing Namjoon's matcha.

"He is talking about the tour with Jungkook," Namjoon says. You freeze for a moment. 'Which tour?'. But if you ask that way, they will know that you have no information about it. "Oh, okay! Tell me about the exact plan, please. Jungkook was too lazy to explain it to me," you lie. I got you! So first we fly to London for two days. There will be the first match. And then we will fly to Paris for the second match. We planned to stay for two days. At least we will fly to Tokyo for the last match. It's not clear how long we will stay because if he wins all of them, we want to celebrate. Also, we're going in such a big group; a little party wouldn't be bad, right? And sorry for Nari coming too; she will be filming everything," he says a little guilty about the last part.

For understanding, you hate Nari. And everyone knows that. She had a crush on Jungkook, and after finding out that you both dated, she continued to drool over him. And she is going with Jungkook? You are seconds away from breaking everything near you. But instead you hand Namjoon his matcha. You want to tell Tae that everything is fine because you're not even invited by your boyfriend (fiancé).

"That sounds like a plan," you say and smile at him. He looks worried that you skipped the part with Nari, but he doesn't comment on it. "Let's talk about it later. We need to go," he says and lends you his card. "Nah, you don't need to pay," you say and push his hand away. He tries anyway and gives up when other customers walk in. You wave at both of them and continue to work. The topic is still heavy in your head.

•

You close your textbook after taking some notes for your upcoming exam. Sitting on the floor was a bad idea; your back hurts like hell. You lean against the couch and watch the raindrops fall from the window. Why would he not tell you about something this big? Are you making him feel bad about his job? Did you already grow apart? All these thoughts are making you tear up.

At the other end of the room, you hear Jungkook happily preparing dinner. He told you that you worked hard today and needed some good food. You look down at your engagement ring and play with it. "Baby food is done," he announces, and you walk to the table. You start eating without saying a word. The fact that he cooked your favorite meal is crashing you down, and you feel too many emotions.

He watches as you quietly eat your food. He knows something is off, but he doesn't want to push you to tell him. He knows that you need your space sometimes, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't worry about you. And then he remembers something that he needs to tell you. But he is scared of your reaction, so he delays it for tomorrow.

You finish your plate and smile at him, "Thank you, baby, it was delicious." He smiles back at you, but you wait for him to tell you what you already know, but nothing is coming out of his mouth. So you stand up and make your way to the kitchen. He follows you like a lost puppy. "I will do the dishes. You can start with your bed routine," he says and places a kiss on your cheek. You nod at him and walk away.

When you both finally lie in bed, you watch him do sketches on his iPad. You wonder why it's so hard for him to tell you about next week. But you will give him a chance in the morning. You're positive that he would tell you at breakfast. Maybe he didn't say anything tonight because he thought that you were tired enough. You close your eyes and fall asleep quickly.

Jungkook looks at the clock and realizes that he has already worked on his project for over two hours. His eyes wander at your face only to realize that you're crying in your sleep. He quickly puts his iPad on the nightstand, and by that time, you start to shake. Your hands weakly gripping the duvet. He softly calls your name in hope that you would wake up. But you open your eyes and quickly sit up.

He worriedly watches the way you look around. You don't even notice his presence. Dreaming about your dad was nothing new, but dreaming about your dad and Nari was a nightmare. You place your hand on your chest, crying even harder. Then you feel Jungkook's soft touch, but you can't hear what he is saying. He hugs you tightly and places kisses on your hair.

"All good, baby, you're here with me and safe," you finally hear him say. When you hold his hand, you feel the missing ring. You look down to confirm that you're tripping right now, but you're not. Jungkook gently wipes your tears without noticing what you just discovered.

You slightly pull away, and your heart breaks again when you see him smile with those eyes. "Where is your ring?" you ask him. His smile drops, and you can see that he feels bad about it. "I think I forgot it when I was training. But I swear I will look for it tomorrow!" he explains while moving his hands around.

"Maybe it's fate that you lost it," you say too quickly. "What?" he asks, and you can feel that he is scared. You lay back down, already regretting the words that you said. This bed feels too much for you right now; everything feels too much. You want to go out and breathe the fresh air. But your body betrays you, and you start crying again.

Jungkook is watching your movements, his heart beating faster than before. He doesn't want to know the meaning of your words. His hands find yours, and he is scared. "Baby, talk to me. What's wrong?" he asks gently. He knew that you would be mad at him for losing his ring. But he is sure that it's in the locker room.

You pull your hand away and cover your face with both hands. It's too much to talk about right now, but you know he wouldn't leave it at that. When you calmed down a bit, you sat up and looked at him. He is already playing with his lip ring. A habit that he has when he's stressed.

"Why didn't you tell me about the tour?" you ask him right away. He blinks a few times, not ready for the question. "I wanted to tell you and ask you to come with me, but I needed a better time. You know we argued about the last match that I had. I don't want to argue with you, love," he says. You nod and ask him, "Am I giving you weird feelings about your job?"

"No, baby, you never make me feel weird. I know that you're just worried about me. And I understand that," he says and strokes your hair. "You're lying, Jungkook. You would tell me everything about this fucking tour if you didn't doubt anything. And it's not only the tour! You're going with Nari! I don't like it!" you say while new tears are welling up in your eyes.

He looks down for a bit. You know that he doesn't know what to say. "I'm sorry that I made you feel like you need a perfect time to tell me about your job, Jungkook. That was never my intention. I'm just scared of losing you. You're everything to me, and I can't imagine a single day without you. But I'm also mad that you didn't talk to me about the doubts in your head. You could've asked me why I feel this way, or I don't know. I never thought that we would have this conversation," you add.

He looks up at you. "I know that you don't like the idea of me becoming a pro at boxing. But I thought about it a lot. It's my dream, yes, but you're also a part of it. I don't want you to think that I have any doubts. I swear I wanted to talk to you about it, but I needed more time and good timing. I would never leave without you, by the way! I already told everyone that you're coming with me," he says. You look at his eyes and smile. "I hate Nari," you say and pout. He laughs at you and messes with your hair.

"Are you mad at me?" he asks. And you don't want to lie, so you nod. He places a kiss next to your lips. "I'm sorry, baby. I never wanted you to feel this way." You pat his head. "I love you, and I would do so much for you. I'm just scared that I'm not showing you enough," you say. But he quickly denies. "No baby. You're doing a lot for me, and I feel how much you love me. Please stop thinking that, okay?" he asks. You kiss his cheek and nod again.

"Now let's sleep a little longer; you need to wake up in some hours," he says and moves so that you're lying down. You place your head on his chest and close your eyes. Your heart feels a lot lighter.

•

One week later, and you're sitting with your friend. Lia invited you over, and you're doing a girls night. You talked again with Jungkook the next day after the night, and both of you made up quickly. He planned that you would travel with him, but due to your schedule, you will only fly to Tokyo. Jungkook was really sad about it, but he knows that you can't do anything about it; exams are exams. He also luckily found his ring back. The two of you are texting and calling each other every time.

"This bitch Nari is giving me a headache. She is with every single one of them," Lia says with frustration. She has a big crush on Namjoon, but she is way too shy to talk to him. You laugh at her, "Don't worry, she only has eyes for Jungkook," you add. "Oh, I can see that," Lia says, and your eyes snap to her.

"What do you mean?" you ask. And she only shows a picture that Jimin posted in his story. They're all sitting at a table, and you can see that Nari is talking to Jungkook. The weird part is that he is laughing at something she said. "Why is he so good-looking, omg!" you say and lay back down on the floor. "I mean, we know Jungkook. He is just kind, so don't worry; she probably didn't say something that funny," she says. "I know, but I don't want him to smile at her so cutely!" you whine.

"I told Jimin to write down all the tea. I hope he is not forgetting about it," Lia tells you. You sit up and drink from your beer. "I miss my baby," you say. Lia looks at you with a sad face. "You will see him next week. That will be over quickly," she assures you.

•

Back at home, you patiently wait for Jungkook's call. You need to tell him good luck before his match begins. When the familiar ringing disturbs your quiet room, you quickly grab your phone and answer it.

"Baby, I missed you!" you tell him. "I missed you too! How are you?" he asks with a big smile. "I'm good, but what about you? Are you nervous?" you ask him. He is walking around his room. "I am a little. But I know that seeing your face will give me luck," he says while winking at you. You giggle at his playfulness. "I wish you luck, love. You will do great. Be careful, okay?" He nods. "I will," he answers.

You hear some voices in the background, and Jungkook's attention is shifting to someone else. It's the perfect opportunity to watch him. "Baby, I need to go. I will call you after the match, okay?" he says. "Okay! I love you," you tell him, and the call ends. You can't wait to be finally there with him.

He called you after his match to celebrate his win. Also, he called you in Paris, but before his flight to Tokyo, he couldn't reach you. His calls automatically went to voicemail.

•

"Maybe her phone broke down or something like that, bro. Don't worry," Jimin says. "It's been a day, Jimin. She would call me from Lia's phone or ask a neighbor. I need to fly back home," he says while pulling his hair. "Look, first we will go to the hotel, and then we can call Lia. Maybe she knows where she is. I don't think that she disappeared like that," Hobi tells him.

"Or maybe you did something really bad and she blocked you. Maybe even moved out by the time you come back?" Jin wonders. Everyone turned towards him in disbelief. "You really think this is the right time to joke?" Namjoon asks. Jin just shrugs his shoulders. While on the way to the hotel, Jungkook tries to call you again and again, but there are no answers.

"Even Lia doesn't know where she is," Jungkook says. He is seconds away from passing out. In every scenario he is going through, you are lying on the ground with blood everywhere. Maybe he is a little overdramatic, but it could be true, right? No, he prays that he is just sick.

"I don't even see a point in checking in!" he says, and his voice is already louder than before. "Omg Jungkook, calm down. If something happened to her, you would be late anyway," Nari says with annoyance. Jungkook turns around to look at her. "I don't remember that I talked to you," he snaps. Jimin laughs at that but stops when Jungkook looks at him. "Let's go to the room, and then you can look for flights back to Seoul, okay?" Namjoon says.

Jungkook walks to his room, which is bigger than the ones in London and Paris. His mind is going wild every second that he is still here. When he opens the door to his room, he falls on his knees in disbelief. You're standing right in front of him with a big smile. "Baby, you did so well! I watched everything!" you say. And then you tilt your head to the side. "Why are you sitting there on the floor?"

"Baby, are you serious? I was so worried! Why would you ghost me?" he says with a frown. You laugh at his cute face. "Oh, come on! I wanted to surprise you. Get up and come here. I ordered a cake. Your favorite with strawberries," you tell him. He jumps on his feet and hugs you from behind. You feed him one spoon of the cake. He groans at the sensation. At the same time, he kisses your neck and shoulder. "You're so greedy," you tell him while putting your hand above his on your tummy. "Only when it's you," he says and eats the rest of the slice.

•

After a quick shower, you join him on the couch. "How is your nose?" you ask. He looks at you with guilt. "I told Jimin to give me updates about you. And you really thought I wouldn't know about your bruised nose?" "It doesn't hurt anymore," he says softly. You kiss him on the cheek. "Be careful tomorrow," you say and lean against his arm. He wraps his arm around you and watches his favorite movie.

"Lay on your stomach. I will give you a good massage," you say. He smiles and lays down the way you told him. With every movement of your hands, he groans. "You have magic hands, baby," he says, and you can literally feel his body relaxing under your touch.

•

"I'm so excited!" you tell Tae, who is standing next to you. "Me too, princess. Are you mad at me that I chose Nari as the camera guy?" he asks. This question was on his mind for a long time. "No, I'm not. Oh my god, did you think that the whole time?" you ask in disbelief. He shyly nods. "Yeah, I know how she is and that you don't like her. I don't like her too, by the way, but she was the only one available for this time." You pat his arm. "All good really. And it's good that you don't like her. We need a tea session back home." He laughs at that and winks.

When the match starts, you cheer for Jungkook, and you can't deny that he looks hot. Every time he is sitting in his corner for a little break, you can see how passionate he is about this. And it breaks your heart that you had some arguments about his job. You love him, and he loves you. That should be the only thing that matters.

Besides that, you're also thinking about boxing because the way Nari is touching him makes you see red. At the same moment, Jungkook's eyes find yours, and they sparkle. You send him a flying kiss, and he acts like he is catching it.

It's not a big surprise that he won this one too. His face was a little red from all the attacks that he couldn't dodge. You're happy and proud at the same time. You know that winning every single match on this tour will help him with new contracts.

Back at the hotel, you celebrate together. Everyone is drinking and laughing about some stories. Jungkook's hand is on your thigh the whole night, and you always think about what you did in your last life to be this lucky to have him. Every time he looked at you, you could feel the warmth of his pure love.

Your only wish is that he will be safe and healthy. He would, right?

Authors note:

Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it. Feel free to share your thoughts with me <3 lots of love

[sayangrafayel]

Friend I am in need and am going to make a request. I need to get a cavity filled tomorrow so if you ever have time could you write the LaDS men reaction to a reader with needle/dental phobia (mostly needle I guess). Anything like which of them would hold your hand through it and which ones would make fun (if any cause i can'timagine they would which is why i could use the support haha). Currently freaking the fuck out 🙃

Sorry if you're not taking asks rn! And no worries if you don't want to do it 💙

Ask and you shall receive! Reader is afraid of needles (and you can see it as a dental work too even though I use arm)!

How would they react if you have a needle phobia?

Who's gonna hold your hand or maybe try to distract you? Or maybe joke around with you just so you wouldn't think about the process?

Sylus, Xavier, Rafayel, Zayne, Caleb.

Sylus

This man hates seeing you in any kind of pain.

Oh you think he would distract you alone? Wrong. He's bringing in your twins and Mephie to help him. He knows how much you love them.

This scene from Brooklyn 99 where Captain Holt and Terry dance to distract Amy? That's them. He would personally sing the song too. You'd be so confused seeing him like that, you wouldn't even notice the needle.

Xavier

He will hold your hand without any questions.

He wonders though, you are such a badass hunter but why is it you're afraid of needles.. but he understands how phobia works, so he doesn't mind at all.

Distracts you by putting on a little light show for you, making you your favorite kind of animal with his evol and makes it jump around his head and your other arm so you'd focus on that.

Rafayel

At first, he thought you were joking when you told him you're scared of the doctor appointment because of needles.

He'll realize you were in fact not joking when you were holding his hand so tightly his fingers felt numb. "Ouchie! My hand! Okay oka-"

He'd bring one of your favorite plushies that you caught together. To distract you, he'd say "Hey, remember how hard it was for us to get this little guy? We should go again after this, the other version of this plush is out today!"

Zayne

As a doctor, he knows how serious it is for you. No matter how many times you went through this process, he will always take your phobia seriously.

"Let me do it, Nurse." and then you'd ease up because he'd done it many times without barely any pain. You trust him so much, you just stare at his features and adore how seriously he's taking this.

If he can't do it himself, he'll distract you by making little snowballs seals with his evol. Or making the flower you love, again, with his evol. The coldness of his evol would distract you from the pain in your other arm.

Caleb

This big puppy. You'd think HE'S the one with a needle phobia.

He wished he could take your place instead because he'd love to take any kind of pain if it means you don't have to feel any.

"You can do this, love!" Of course he would hold your hand close to his face and stare at you with his puppy eyes. "After this, I'll cook one of your favorites! Or we can go out and get ice cream, yeah? It will be over soon, I promise." And what else can you do other than trusting your beloved?

[earpskeeper]

A chaotic call up

A call up wouldn't be a call up for our kid without some chaos!

Your call up came on a random Thursday evening. You had had a productive and entertaining day at training which ended with you nutmegging Beth Mead and promptly running away whilst she yelled a phrase you knew you were not allowed to repeat at home around Leah. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention…

I live with Leah Williamson. It wasn’t planned at all though. You had received word from your agent that Arsenal wanted you for their first team. It was a no brainer for you as you currently played for a team that hadn’t ever qualified for the WSL yet. The only problem being your age. Well that and your father. He was your biggest supporter, don’t get it wrong but he was also in the Royal Air Force and during the preparations for the move down to London for your playing career, he received a letter that he was to be posted somewhere in New Zealand. 

So, you ended up in the care of Leah Williamson which turned out to be a lot different than what you were anticipating. You had visions of being able to tag along to cool events as a plus one and perhaps stealing some very cool clothes from her wardrobe. Ok maybe you were reaching a little with your expectations, but what you hadn’t expected was for her to be as strict as your father but in a sort of comforting and caring way. You guessed it was because you were no longer walking on eggshells in your own home. When you lived with your father he was very strict but also didn’t care in a fucked up way. The only thing he cared about was whether you got into trouble either with the police or at school. And if you showed any amount of disrespect then he had no problems using his power to put you back in place. He didn’t care what you got up to in your free time or what grades you got at school (if you turned up)  as long as you were staying in your place. You believed it was because your brother was already serving a prison sentence and he was just worried you would end up like him, but that’s a story for another day. 

Your call up, which by the way did come at a very inconvenient time as you were attempting to master a very complicated FIFA skill move in your bedroom surrounded by mountains of clothes yet to be folded and put away and unopened textbooks that were living vicariously stacked on top of your desk. You groaned at first, from your cocoon in your bed. A bed that you hadn’t moved from since you and Leah had gotten in from training. At first you were content to let it ring out (never being a fan of talking on the phone) but a shout from downstairs snapped you out of your bed rot as it were. 

“Kid, I swear answer your damn phone now!” Leah yelled from the kitchen with a smirk on her face, knowing just what was coming your way after a conversation with Sarina regarding her own call up and captain duties on how to deal with the newer players - you. 

You groaned in annoyance, not knowing why Le was so adamant on you answering your phone. It’s not like anyone important rang anyway, the only other important person in your life who you don’t live near was your father. And you only received letters from him anyway, something about national security you guessed. But you rolled over to grab the shrieking electronic object buried in your duvet cover and answered it with a funny one line you had seen on tiktok. 

“Kiddos mortuary and taco stand, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. What can I get started for you?” You proudly stated whilst trying not to laugh. Although, what you weren’t expecting to happen was for Sarina Wiegman to answer the phone.

“Hello? Is this Y/F/N, this is Sarina Wiegman calling on behalf of the England women’s senior national team. Is now an ok time to talk?”

That quickly took the proud smile off your face as you swallowed hard and attempted to be as professional as possible - which still isn’t that professional really. 

“Miss Wiegman, I mean Sarina, I mean Ma’am, wait Boss um…” you stammered out and quickly took the phone away from your ear to take a deep breath whilst formulating a plan to regain some dignity. “Sarina, so lovely to hear from you! I think we may have had some interference on the line but I think that’s all fixed now?” You hoped it was a good enough lie to cover you, and to either your luck or her professionalism (probably the latter) she spoke no more of it. 

Hello Y/F/N, as I said before, I am ringing on behalf of the England women’s national senior team and would like for you to join us at our training camp in preparation for the Euro’s. 

At this point, you could’ve sworn your stomach fell out of your body but by the way you were still breathing, that seemed unlikely. 

“Hello? Hello, are you still there, Y/F/N.” 

You didn’t ignore her, you really didn’t but you couldn’t find your voice to respond to her which is why Leah appeared in your bedroom. If you weren’t so consumed with trying to regain some kind of dignity and composure, you probably would have questioned how she knew to come into your room and how she got there so quickly from seemingly being in the kitchen. But you were too relieved to care. 

“Hey Sarina, yeah it’s me. No no, the kid is just a little” she took one glance at you in a stunned state before carrying on with her sentence “preoccupied right now. Yep I will be able to explain everything about camp beforehand, that’s not a problem. Alright that’s all sorted, we will see you then! Bye Sarina, lovely to talk to you again.” Leah spoke with such a fluid composure in contrast to you who had somehow, in your panicked state, managed to dodge your ‘floordrobe’ (as you put it) and ended up in the foetal position under your desk. Leah quickly hung up your phone and moved over to you in a controlled manner, careful not to spook you and crouched down slowly. 

“Hey kid, you all good under there?” Leah spoke as she moved her arms out to try and ground you. 

“Did uh, what I mean I uh umm” you stuttered out not realising you were missing vital parts of your sentences. 

Leah responded with a chuckle “What was that kiddo, you're missing out a few words there”

“Sarina she she she” you managed to stutter out “England me I” you were currently deep breathing trying to get your heart back to a sane rhythm. “Me play, England play football, Euros me play” you spluttered out whilst Leah just looked amused at your current state. 

“Really kid, I cannot believe that” she spoke with some amused sarcasm lacing her voice whilst you just looked like you were having some sort of existential crisis. 

Several minutes later, your face had regained some colour and your heart had reverted back to your normal rhythm. And you were still in disbelief, questioning Leah at every opportunity still believing you were a part of some well planned out joke. 

“So England wants me? Like me me??” you questioned Leah as you sat on the sofa. 

“Kiddo for the hundredth time, yes! Sarina called you up didn’t she?” she spoke whilst cleaning up the kitchen in preparation for some of your future teammates to join for a takeaway/game night. 

“I just, why me Le” you sighed out. “I’m not even that good to be on the under 18s let alone the actual fucking senior team!” you spoke out with frustration seeping out. 

“Woah woah kiddo, some big words coming from you hm. I will forgo the swearing consequence this time as I believe we have bigger things to talk about right now yeah?” she spoke firmly as she moved across to the sofa to sit opposite you on the coffee table, taking your hands into hers. “First of all, you deserve the call up ok, you are such a hard worker and such an amazing talent. You put in the graft and you are getting the recognition. Sarina doesn’t just call up anyone and she called you up which obviously means you do deserve it and I will not hear any different! I can guarantee that if you asked any of the Arsenal girls or any of your future teammates for England, they will tell you the same thing.” Leah spoke with such caring conviction as she wiped a rogue tear from your cheek. 

“Now c'mon, we have tidying to complete before chaos arrives” she said with a smile which massively contrasted your groan in response to her statement, wondering how she could sound so upbeat at the prospect of tidying. 

based on a request I got for our chaotic kids call up

please please send in requests or anything you wanna see!! it gives me so much encouragement to write

[mrinafria]

[contains spoilers]

I'm an eternal digger of good narrative techniques. A decent story becomes great in my eyes if the narrative is done right. And it's one of the hardest things to do really, since there's no one-size-fits-all rule for what technique works well with a particular story and what doesn't. One of the primary reasons I keep obsessing over Lovely Runner is its' narrative technique. In all honesty, if it had a linear, singular narrative, I would not be hyperventilating over it on a constant basis (I still would just a certain amount, because both Byeon Woo Seok and Kim Hye Yoon deserve awards for what they are doing). One reason it has managed to knock it out off the park and take the top spot in my forever-favorite list is how wonderfully well the narrative is done.

The primary perspective used in this show is Im Sol's. It's through her we're introduced to the story. Her perspective gives shape to the plot, the characters, because we learn things through her. Her perspective is absolutely critical for exposition. Without her thoughts and way of viewing things, you would never realize why saving Seon Jae means so much to her, or why she would bend the rules and bulldoze ahead when it comes to his safety (exhibit A, her leaving home on the day of the accident, despite knowing about her fate). She'd rather have him alive than have him in her life. Without her narrative, you'd think it's really all about a fan saving her idol (thanks to everyone who'd rejected the script listening to that pitch by the way, I'm grateful we have BWS and KHY as the leads because of that, I would not change it for anyone else). With Im Sol's perspective, you realize, she is not just a fan: she's an ardent admirer, a cheerleader, a well-wisher, a protector, an invisible friend trying to support her friend any way she can, someone who respects Seon Jae, sees him as an idol but also as a human, someone who wants to give back to him the same kindness, empathy and love she had once received from him over a radio call. To her, Seon Jae is first a guardian angel and then an idol, the angel who changed her view of life, made her appreciate things even amidst all that could be wrong with the world and her life. He saved her. Not just on that day at the hospital but every time she struggled and faltered since then, he was there, as invisible as it may have been. So this time, she wants to save him, no matter the price.

Then comes Seon Jae. Oof. If Im Sol's perspective gives the story its beautiful, beautiful shape, Seon Jae's perspective breathes literal life in to the body of the story. The show wouldn't be what it is today if not for his perspective. Without his view into things, Im Sol appears as a fangirl going to extreme measures to save her idol, clinging onto him like a monkey (yes I mean the poster) embarrassing the heck out of herself, making you cringe (in a good, enjoyable way) throughout. Then you reach the end of episode 2 and it knocks the breath out of you because WHAT DO YOU EVEN MEAN. It all clicks.

All this while we kept thinking Seon Jae was caught off guard and just kind enough to tolerate her antics, and maybe he'd slowly fall for her now, only to realize we were completely oblivious to a whole different side of the story. If Im Sol's narrative draws you in and keeps you hooked, making you root for her to succeed, it's Seon Jae's narrative that makes you irredeemably fall in love with them and sincerely, genuinely, desperately hope they get their happy ending together after all the storm.

And the motifs. Walking/running, for instance. I'll focus on just one scene here. I recall seeing a bts where KHY is discussing the OG 2008 accident scene, and it explains how she has to slow down, while running away, for just a moment, only to be hit by the taxi driver. Have you ever been in a situation of absolute panic, desperation and stress, then suddenly found a familiar face or a name or a thing you could connect to, and felt a wave of relief rush through you? She sees Seon Jae, a person who is calling out her name. Even if she didn't know him back then, the fact that he knew her (and that he had his uniform on), gives her a sense of safety she badly needed that moment. That momentary relief, so visible in her features, then overtakes the crippling fear she felt running in the middle of nowhere with no one in sight in the dead of the night. Her body, already exhausted beyond anything, responds to the relief she feels for those few seconds, slowing down her steps.

And that is when she is caught off-guard and hit. That also might have added to Im Sol's anger at the hospital when she is screaming at Seon Jae, her internal anguish that if only she had not paused seeing Seon Jae, and kept on running, then maybe she wouldn't be hit, wouldn't fall, wouldn't lose her ability to walk. It's one thing to have tropes and symbolic things, but it's a very different thing to know how to use them effectively so they elicit very specific types of emotions/reactions out of people. Lovely Runner excels in that. All kdramas more or less have 'things' that take on different meanings for the couples/viewers. It's the way motifs are used to narrate the story in this one that has me going back over and over again to all the episodes aired so far. These are not just their 'things', these are 'things' that drive the plot forward, tell you about their characters, their personal motivations, what they mean to each other and so much more.

This is getting longer that I intended it to be so will end with this. I feel valued when watching Lovely Runner. And I've seen people saying the same thing. It feels like they respect your critical thinking skills, and your ability to infer, so they don't spoon-feed you everything from the get-go, and you can't predict much despite it being primarily a rom-com. You'd be pulling your hair out (again, in a good way) trying to figure out what they will show next, and you will be somewhat or very far from the truth, which will compel you to think further about the story, the characters, long after an episode has aired...I can't remember the last time it happened with a drama. I love this storytelling.

[lanassgirlll]

I so can u do a smut for Klaus.

Where he is on rut and is very horny but does not want reder to help him .

This goes very time when it's his that time of the month.

But now when he is again in rut and his wolf is more agressive because it's blood moon .

Reder convinces him to use her as his fuck toy to help him in his rut .

So we all know klaus is a rough sex of a guy now multiply it with 100000000 .

Yes he fucks reader in that kind of way and usees her as his toy without caring about her .

If u are not comfortable with this it's ok to say no .

Red sky

Klaus Mikaelson x Female Reader

Summary: Whenever there’s a full moon, Klaus always gets more aroused than he usually does around his girlfriend. No matter how many times she offers to help him, he always refuses, too afraid that he’d hurt her. But one night, when there’s a blood moon, a rare natural occurrence, he finally gives in and uses his girl just like she had said he can do.

Warnings: angst, smut, unprotected p in v, fingering, hair pulling, a little bit of choking?, oral (m receiving), let me know if i have missed anything, because i'm pretty sure that i have

Words: 3k

AN: I really hope you guys like this! Let me know if you have any requests.

Enjoy!

Sitting at the edge of the bed, Klaus was waiting for his girlfriend to come home and let her know that he's leaving for the night. There was going to be a full moon tonight and he usually left his girl alone for a day or two every month. He didn't like being away from her, but now when he was a hybrid, he had to make sure he wouldn't hurt her by being near her when his wolf wanted to come out.

He didn't turn often, but still he had to stay away. The sweet girl who he loved more than anything, always huffed and puffed whever he had to leave, saying that he didn't have to. She always says that she can protect herself if he did in fact try to hurt her, which she knew he's never do, but Klaus didn't trust himself enough to believe that. She was a powerful witch so if needed, she would protect herself, but Klaus never gave in. She always offered him her help and her support, yet she was always left disappointed, feeling like the hybrid didn't want her even though he had explained his reasons to her many times.

Klaus would always have his emotions even more hightened whenever a full moon came. His anger would be slighty worse than it usually is, his temper just as much. He'd get aggresive even, at times. But the worst thing of it all was how aroused he'd get around his girl whenever it was a full moon. He knew if he let go, and took her the way he needed, he'd hurt her.

It's not like they haven't tried before.

They had been together for two years. She's always helped him and been there for her, so it naturally hurt her when he started pushing her away and leaving every month. A few months after Klaus had broken his curse, the witch had finally convinced him to let go. And when he did, it didn't take long before he'd stop his actions with her. He could see that she was struggling with how rough he was being. He hated himself for hurting her and after that had happened, he never did it again.

Klaus looked over at the door, hearing his girl closing the front door of the house they now shared. He quickly stood from the bed and listened to her steps as she was making her way to their room.

Opening the door, she saw him standing in the middle of the room and smiled softly. She put her bag down on the small table next to the door and slowly made her way over to him.

''Hey Nik, I've missed you today.''

He was just stood there, hands behind his back without saying anyhting, already feeling himself get aroused just by looking at her. She wasn't even wearing anything revealing, since it was cold outside. The outfit she had on was a simple pair of black jeans and a puffy jacket. What was under it was a mystety for Klaus.

Before the witch could wrap her arms around him for a hug, he took a step back and took a deeo breath before speaking up.

''Tonight's a full moon. A blood moon actually.''

The girl frowned a little and put her hands in the pockets of her jacket.

''I know that. Does it- mean anything different for you?''

Klaus clenched his jaw, his anger rising for no reason. She had done nothing wrong and yet he was already angry?

''You're a witch. You're supposed to know, aren't you?''

She was a little taken back by his sudden anger and sighed, making her way over to the bed and sitting down at the edge where Klaus had been sat before she came in.

''Yes, I am a witch, and yes, I know about the blood moon. However, I'm afraid I don't know why you are anrgy with me all of a sudden, Nik.''

Klaus tried his best to control himself before he spoke up again.

''Then you know that it makes it worse for me tonight. You know I have to leave.''

Looking down at her feet, she sighed again. She was tired of his excuses about hurting her whenever it was a full moon.

''I do know that too, Nik. But it's not just hard for you. You know how much I hate sleeping alone, not knowing if you're safe and okay, but yet you leave me anyway just because you're too selfish.''

Realising what she had just said, the girl looked up at him and let a small shaky breath escape through her lips.

''I'm sorry, I didn't mean-''

Before she could finish her sentence, Klaus was stood in front of her, looking down at her with anger in his eyes.

''I'm selfish?! I've told you a thousand times, that I only want to keep you safe. I leave you, so I don't hurt you! How does that make me selfish?''

The witch has had enough of him. She stood up and glared up at him.

''You hurt me, by leaving me and pushing me away! All this time, all I have wanted was to help you. But you're too fucking stubborn to let me do it. I am not fragile Niklaus, I can keep protect myself and you know that damn well!''

Klaus was surprised by her outburst. She rarely yelled or got anrgy with him. In all honesty, whenever she got angry, he found it hot. And that just made the situation worse.

''You offer your help by offering your body.''

''Yes, because I know it is what you need, yet you deny and push me away.''

''Do you not remember the last time I accepted your help? Let me remind you, it did not end well.''

Clenching her jaw, she pressed her hand against his chest and pushed him back a little.

The second he felt her hand against his chest, he grabbed her wrist and pushed her down on the bed, making her fall down on her back.

''Niklaus what the hell?! Just let me help you, idiot. Stop being to damn tough all the time, I am your girlfriend for the love of God!''

The girl was back on her feet in the matter of seconds, looking up at him again. She knew he was angry, yet he was scared for her. She could see it in his eyes. She had also noticed the way his face reddened just the slightest bit when she touched his chest, she could see the way he looked at her. Hunger. That was what she saw in his eyes. He wanted her, she knew that, they both knew it. But he was scared, trying so hard to hold himself back from just giving in and taking what he wants.

''Nik... baby, please. I can see how hard you are trying to hold back. I've told you a million times that it's okay if you need me. You can do what you want.''

Klaus swore he heard a crack by clenching his jaw so hard. He craved her. He wanted to ruin her, to leave his marks all over her body, to take her over and over again until she begged him to stop.

''You don't know anything, love. You think you do, but you don't.''

The witch smiled softly at him and moved her hands up, gently putting them over his shoulders. She wasn't going to let him leave this time.

''Then show me. Tell me. Or simply just do it. I know how much you want to fuck me, Klaus, you're not hard to read when you're horny. Like now. You're giving it all away.''

Feeling her hands on his shoulders, he took a deep breath and stared at her. He knew what he wanted but the only thing going through his mind was the thought of hurting her. No matter how much he needed her, he had to stay away.

''I don't want to hurt you. This blood moon it- just makes it so much worse. If i give in now, I won't be able to stop until I've gotten what I need. You're human, love, you can't take all that. I'm scared I might actually break you.''

Sighing a little, she moved her hands away and slowly took off her jacket, showing that she was wearing yet another simple blouse under it. Putting it to the side, she looked up at him once again and drew in a breath.

''I can take anything you give me. I am not fragile, I'm not made out of glass. The one time we did this, I was only too worried for you that I couldn't focus enough, I was lost in my thoughts and that is why I started crying, but not because you hurt me. You could never do that.''

The witch slowly pushed her hand under his shirt, gently trading the pads of her fingers over his torso while looking him straight in the eyes. He had to give in, this time she knew he would.

Taking a deep breath, Klaus looked down at where her hand had disappeared under his shirt. He loved the feeling of her warm skin pressed against his. And at that moment, he snapped. He couldn't hold back anymore, he had to have all of her.

Putting one of his hands on her hip, he vamp sped to the wall, pushing her against it whilst wrapping his other hand around her little neck. Hearing her loud gasp at the sudden movement, he held her tightly and leaned his face closer to hers, their lips just a few centimeters away.

''Fine. You win. But remember that I warned you and now I will only stop once I have taken what I want.''

The girl nodded her head quickly, trying to move forward and kiss Klaus, but his grip around her neck kept her still. Whining quietly, she moved her hands and pulled on his shirt, wanting it off.

''Nik...''

He could hear the desperation in her voice. She craved him just as much as he did.

Finally he pressed his lips to hers, kissing her slowly and gently at first before quickly getting more eager. Klaus pushed his tongue inside her mouth, and used the opportunity to slip his hand under her blouse, putting it over her soft tummy, letting out a small groan into her mouth. He slowly pulled away and looked at his girl.

She was out of breath, a dark shade of red creeping up her face as she stared up at him. His hand was still wrapped around her neck and his hand was still under her blouse.

''You are the most beatiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on.''

Klaus took his hand out of under her blouse and dragged her to the bed by her neck. He let go of her before turning her around and pushing her down so she was bent over the bed.

The witch loved being manhandled. Having Klaus be so rough with her turned her on so much, she thought she could come just by that. And they were just getting started.

As he was looking down at her, a smirk dancing on his lips, he gently put his hand through her hair before wrapping it around his fist and pulling it back harshly, a small whine leaving her.

''Do you like it when I'm rough with you, love? Hm? I bet you do. I bet that when I strip you of your clothes, you'd be dripping for me already, wouldn't you?''

Turning her head slightly to the side, she tried to look up at him. A small teasing smile took over her face before she spoke up.

''Is this all that you've got?''

He let go of her hair, instead pushing her head back down onto the matress. Slowly taking a step back, he took off his belt and threw it on the ground before unbuttoning his trousers and pulling them off. He didn't want to play games anymore, he wanted to have her.

Klaus then grabbed onto the hem of her jeans and ripped them apart, quickly pulling them off of her. She gasped and tried to look up at him, an anoyed expression on her face.

''Really, Nik?''

He only gave her a smirk in return. He got closer to her again, the bulge in his boxers pressing against her ass. He put his hands on her hips and held them tightly. The girl was sure, that the grip was tight enough to leave bruises on her skin.

''This is your last chance, love. If i start, I will not stop.''

Without saying anything, she pushed herself back, slowly grinding against him and letting out a small teasing moan. That was all that Klaus needed.

The hybrid pulled down his boxers before getting rid of the girl's panties as well. The need to come was the only thing he had in his mind at that moment. He brought his hand up, spitting in it before moving it back down and wrapping it around his cock, pumping himself a few times, a small groan leaving him.

The girl was curious about what he was doing. She tried to turn her head to look at him, but Klaus noticed that and instantly pushed her head back down once again. Before she could protest, she felt him pushing his cock between her dripping folds. She moaned softly and closed her eyes.

Klaus grabbed onto her hips again before slowly pushing inside of her. A moan escaped his lips as he threw his head back.

''Fuck.''

Whining a little, the girl tried to push herself back, needing more of him. She thought that she was just as desperate for this as he was.

''Klaus just do it already!''

He looked at her, his jaw clenching as he gripped her hips tighter. With one quick movement, he bottomed out inside of her, the tip of his cock hitting her cervix. The hybrid heard her cry out but he was too lost at the feeling to care. There was no going back.

Holding her, he started thrusting into her, fast and rough. He has never felt so good while having sex before. Klaus could already feel himself getting closer to the edge, even though he had just started.

Another moan left him. He brought his hand to his girl's ass and slapped it hard, loving the noise she let out at the feeling.

He kept thrusting his cock deep into her, almost pulling all the way out before slamming right back in, his balls rubbing against her clit.

He didn't notice when the witch came all over him the first time, he just kept up his pace, trying to reach his high.

''You're taking me to well. You're my little fuck toy, aren't you?''

He just couldn't help himself. He loved to praise her, knowing how much pleasure it brought to the both of them.

Klaus thrusted a few more times into her, a loud moan leaving him as he threw his head back again, his seed spilling deep into her.

He took a few seconds to calm his breathing before he slowly pulled out and flipped his girl over. She was now looking up at him with a pleading face as she tried to reach her hand down and grad a hold of his cock. He just stared at her, letting her touch him.

''Get off the bed and on your knees. Now.''

She quickly got up from the bed, giving him a small smile before slowly kneeling down into his feet, sliding her hands down his chest as she did so. When she looked at his cock, she was surprised it was still hard but she quickly got to work. She knew what Klaus wanted of her.

She gently wrapped her hand around his thick cock, giving it a few strokes, sliding her thumb over his tip every now and then. Hearing him moan her name under his breath, gave her all the confidence she needed.

The witch stood up a little bit so her face was right in front of his cock. She kept stroking him as she moved her other hand up to cup his balls in it, squeezing them gently.

Klaus looked down at her and groanded.

''You're teasing. I can't be having this right now.''

Moving his hands down, he held her hair back, pushing his cock to her lips. She instantly opened her mouth and mentally prepared herself for what was about to come.

Klaus smirked at her before roughly pushing himself into her mouth, starting to fuck her throat like it was her pussy. He ignored the sound of her chocking and gagging around him, just focusing on his own pleasure. He had never been more selfish in his life, and right now, he loved it.

He kept fuking her throat like his life depended on it. The girl was sure it's hurt days after that but she didn't care. All she cared about was him.

''You're such a good girl, love.''

He groaned and let go of her hair, patting her cheek with his hand whilst looking her straight in the eyes.

''When I come. you're gonna swallow it all like the good little come slut you are, okay?''

She couldn't do anything except just let him keep fucking her throat. When she felt him throb, she knew he was close. The witch felt him moving his hand to the back of her head, pushing it down, making her take his cock balls deep into her mouth as he came once again, spilling his hot seed down her throat.

He held her down for a few seconds after his orgasm had washed over him, making sure she swallowed everything he gave her. Klaus then slowly pulled out of her mouth and wiped the tears that had escaped her eyes with his thumb.

''You did so good, my love, but I am not quite done with you yet. Now get back on the bed.''

AN: This is bad, but it's only like my first try to bear with me, lol.

[misscammiedawn]

Gender, Dissociation and Clinical Stigma - The Third Person

Before I begin I just want to note that typically Media, Myself and I entries are aimed at depictions of dissociative disorders in popular fiction. Today's entry is a graphic novel memoir by a transgender woman with dissociative identity disorder. As it's both not in the public zeitgeist and good representation by virtue of being lived experience of someone who struggled within the mental healthcare system I want to recommend people buy the book (or check it out of their local library). I fully support the artist and want to prop up something good and beautiful.

With that said, let's begin...

CW: therapy abuse

With all the recent hysteria in the US and UK media over transgender healthcare it can be easy to forget the hurdles we all have to climb to receive care. Though Informed Consent is becoming more of a standard practice these days the DSM-5 Criteria for Gender Dysphoria indicates a 6 month requirement for observation before HRT can be prescribed. Many of us needed to jump the hoops of living 6-12 months "in the gender role that is congruent with their gender identity" before we were allowed to begin our gender journey in earnest.

Of course. This requires a clinician (or two for surgical options) to observe this, monitor it and sign off on it. But therapists are humans and are full of prejudice, bias and their own beliefs. They aren't guaranteed to think it is medically necessary or positive for a person seeking gender affirming care to receive it.

So where does DID fit into this picture?

A study, published in 2015, states clearly that 30% of transgender individuals met the criteria for a dissociative disorder.

Yet even still, The World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH), the gold standard for transgender care included this warning in their Standards of Care up until September 2022.

(source)

Fortunately that passage is no longer included in WPATH guidelines as of the 8th revision released in 2022. I shall say the above passage did grant a scare for us, though, as it was very much the practice when we were going for our surgery.

Standards of Care improve and medical understandings of both gender and dissociative care are becoming kinder towards clients.

Even still. There's always that fear. That months of therapy could be wasted on a clinician who was never going to sign off on HRT and was never going to believe our lived experience as a system.

We wouldn't have gotten nearly half as far as we have gotten without our therapist helping us identify our condition, manage our symptoms and develop cooperation and communication.

It's terrifying to think what life would be like if our symptoms not only went unmanaged, but we were made to feel fake and attention seeking by the very person we paid to take care of us...

-

With that intro in mind, The Third Person by Emma Grove is a memoir told in graphic novel format over 920 pages covering the period of life where she began therapy in hopes of receiving feminizing HRT not realizing she had an undiagnosed case of dissociative identity disorder.

When one opens the book they will see an Author's Note declaring that every word in the book is as accurate as Emma's memory will allow and any edits are to streamline the story, not to tailor anything to match the author's point of view and there is a dedication:

"For Katina - We finally did one together"

The story proper begins in media res Winter 2004, as Emma asks her therapist if he would like to hear about the book she was reading and the therapist responds asking why the client decided to speak with him "as Emma" today. Emma, confused, does not understand the question and is probed about her parts, about Ed and Katina and about her childhood. That last word being enough to cause Emma to freeze up, dissociate and...

This simple intro gives us all the context a reader needs to understand the antagonistic dynamic between Toby, the therapist, and his patient(s). Both client and patient are unable to understand the other and harbor suspicions about the other's intentions.

Without the context we only know Emma had a book, she no longer has a book and she suspects her therapist of being a mean person who is playing tricks on her.

We will get context later.

The first chapter of the book provides an introduction to the author's late teens and early 20s where they explore their gender identity and have their first experiences with their masked dissociative disorder.

The book goes to lengths to show the stress of the author dividing themselves between having to present male in their public life and sneaking out to bars where they can wear make-up, wigs and outfits to present female.

They take on their legal name, Ed, during their public life and when going out to clubs take the name Katina, from the first bar they visited presenting femme. The name Emma comes later when the system is working to transition into living as a woman in all aspects of their shared life.

The book patiently explores the stress of having to divide ones own self for their safety in spaces where they cannot present their truth without threat from an intolerant society. If 30% of transgender people suffer from dissociative disorders then a much higher number of them know the stress of having to compartmentalize themselves into different presentations for different audiences.

For us, we know that pain all too well. Our birth identity remains with us as a member of our own system. Less a ghost of our past and more a remnant of a mask we constructed to perform the version of self required for our safety.

The artwork does a good job of displaying switches and co-consciousness with subtle expression work, the hair style/wigs that each alter favors. For example we have the left displaying co-consciousness and a switch.

As the years go on, Katina finds ways to go out to the club and exist in her comfort and Ed labors hard to ensure that they can live for the times they get to "become" themselves.

Katina is established to be a fierce personality who will get aggressive when people push against her. She loves to dance and sing and party at the club. She is both a free spirit without inhibition and a fierce protector who will keep the system safe.

I recall feeling a deep fondness and connection towards Katina when we first read the book.

Once the narrative has firmly established the history that lead to the system seeking HRT we are brought into the meat of the book. A white void with a sofa and an armchair. The therapist's office where Katina, Emma and Ed speak with Toby.

Toby is a trans man that Katina believes to be an ally who will sign off on their HRT once the prerequisite 3 month waiting period is over. Unfortunately over the course of those months Toby becomes aware of Emma and Katina's switches and is convinced that it would be unethical for him to sign off on HRT when it is possible that there may be another 'guy part' in there who will 'wake up' one day and decide that he did not want to transition.

To his credit, once Toby suspects a dissociative disorder he does offer Emma a referral to a specialist. They do not take it as they just want to be signed off for HRT and have no interest in exploring their situation beyond transitioning. So they stick with Toby, convinced that another transgender individual will support them.

Toby, however, sticks to his guns and refuses to agree until they manage the DID.

In the opening, sampled above, Emma switches out at the mere mention of her childhood. Here we find that Katina will front any time Emma is made to think about her past and she refuses to allow Toby to force her to think about it or discuss it. She goes as far as to demand Toby promise not to push which, again, Toby refuses.

During this conflict both sides have exaggerated gestures of frustration, many exclamation points and underlined words. This is not a healthy dialogue at all. Toby is refusing to find middle ground or guide the therapy towards its intended destination. He denies all Katina's attempts to negotiate around the need to talk about her childhood (something she is convinced at this point has nothing to do with her stated goal of HRT) and continuously pushes that she needs to talk about it, without elaborating as to why.

Toby, untrained in dissociative disorders, is focused on getting her to open up about her childhood trauma. Katina, uninterested in exploring trauma, wants to be signed off for HRT. Neither side is willing to budge.

This isn't therapy. This is an argument.

Recently I wrote a Tumblr post about the "Hair Dryer Incident"

The Hair Dryer Incident is a story about a patient with OCD whose life was being massively disrupted by the fear that they had left their hair dryer plugged in at home and it would burn their house down. The clinician advised them to take the hair dryer to work with them every day so that they could see the hair dryer with them and not have to drive home to ensure it was safely unplugged.

There was debate in medical circles about whether this was "enabling" because it did nothing to treat the illness, only managed the life disrupting symptom of needing to drive home to check that the dryer was not plugged in.

For Toby in this scenario he believes that allowing Emma to transition would be "enabling" the sickness that he perceives, that being dissociative identity disorder. He has brought his own baggage into the office and only views Emma and Katina as parts of Ed. No amount of Emma and Katina self-advocating in his eyes will change his mind because they are not "real" in his view.

Of course, he is not fully sold on Emma's condition being real either. There is a sequence in which Emma is left alone in the room and she, having a fascination with books, checks out Toby's bookshelf. This causes Toby to become suspicious and decide that Emma has been reading the medical textbooks on dissociative disorders in order to fake an illness and trick him.

This is not a healthy therapeutic alliance and Toby is breaking all 3 key pillars of establishing a strong patient/client partnership.

Much of modern therapy techniques are based on the concept of Therapeutic Alliance. The history of which dates back to Sigmund Freud and the concept of transference but was refined and redefined by Carl Rogers in the modern Patient Centered Therapy (sometimes referred to as Rogerian Therapy).

With that in mind let's examine the 3 key elements of successful PCT(*) and how Toby failed.

Lead with a Patient Centered Approach This means to check all baggage at the door. Cultural biases have no room inside the clinic (during the book Toby openly mocks Emma's faith in God) and that the patient's priorities are the ones that should be focused on. Both client and clinician should be on the same page of what treatment is being sought, what goals are and how they will be achieved. Toby and Emma (or Katina and Ed) never establish this agreement during their time together. Katina/Emma/Ed are firm in their desire to transition and Toby is firm on his refusal to allow this until the DID is addressed.

Set clear goals with a treatment plan. A good treatment plan will have dates, targets and regular review and reward honesty for both/all parties involved in the alliance. Toby is telling Emma and Katina that they need to open up about their childhood but does not explain how this will benefit or what their goals are. Simply "it's good to talk about it" with no direction or assurances.

Regularly review satisfaction with the therapeutic process, relationship, and treatment plan. This element states that it is important that the clinician be upfront with any potential misdiagnosis and discuss any skepticism in the process and lead from a position of patient satisfaction. I do not need to highlight how Toby failed to lead from a position of patient satisfaction here.

Clearly Toby has a personal concept of what the correct approach is and is holding Emma/Katina's gender affirming care hostage until they can satisfy his unspoken objectives. Correctly applied PCT should be a discussion of mutual agreement and achievable goals worked over a period of time. Toby is not applying these principals at all. His modality simply seems to be "talk about it." I'll be an ethical writer who discloses their biases and say I despise PCT/Rogerian therapy. It is, however, the leading modality within western therapy and it is well researched. Not to mention it is the modality Toby appears to be utilizing in the book. I firmly disagree with Freud on all things (except the concept of infant experiences have lifelong ramifications. A broken clock is right twice a day) and disagree with Rogers on the idea that the client has all of the answers and needs to get out of their own way. An issue with this is that DID is a covert disorder and it will do everything it can to stay hidden. PCT does not offer an environment where patients will be able to navigate their condition as unless they are aware of their symptoms, how and when they manifest and are open to discussing those facts they will naturally steer away from circumstances that would lead to a diagnosis. Most people, including myself, have to exist in the mental healthcare system for 5-12 years before being correctly diagnosed with DID(*) and will experience a number of incorrect diagnoses before finding appropriate care. For us it was 9 years and 7 diagnoses. So. Toby's directive is that the system needs to get to the root of the condition and neither Katina nor Emma are willing to open up about their childhood. Katina continues sticking to her guns and refuses but Emma, desperate to start her medical transition, agrees to open up and the two form a shaky alliance where week by week the pair go back and forth between alliance and conflict. In time Emma describes her childhood being raised by her grandfather who was physically abusive towards her. All too quickly Katina's fears are justified by Toby's combative approach to patient care. One session Emma demands to know why she cannot work on her DID while she transitions and Toby states firmly that she is "not transsexual" which triggers Emma to dissociate into a black void that no one can reach her within. She wanted to be seen and regarded as a woman and a trans man told her flat out that he cannot and does not see her as such. Going back to the hair dryer incident as a reference for a moment. Ed is a member of the system and does show up for therapy on some days. At a point Katina, fed up with being denied treatment, makes a plan to quit their job and start a new life living as a woman 24/7. Ed creates a safety net to prevent this from ruining their collective life and continues to work in the meanwhile. Ed's role in the system has been ground down to working and working alone. He spends his days keeping so busy that he cannot dwell, a panel having the thought bubble "I can't slow down! If I slow down I have to think!" which is depressingly relatable to how we were in the worst years of repressing our gender identity. If Ed is unhappy living as a closeted man who has to occupy himself 24/7 to stop from caving in on himself, if Emma and Katina are both completely stunted by their inability to transition; is it ethical to allow them to transition and to work on their condition while allowing them the freedom to live openly as their chosen gender and prevent a circumstance that is harming the entire system? Toby seems to think it is enabling.

30% of the transgender individuals in the study above were observed to meet the criteria for a dissociative disorder. Living a life where one must mask has severe detrimental impacts on a person's psychology. This is true not just for transgender individuals but for those with autism (*) and other individuals on the LGBT spectrum (*) where the cognitive dissonance between who a person values themselves to be versus how they must present to the world causes the mind to dissociate further and allow contrary thinking to exist in individual pockets of a person's life as well as creates an alienation of the self. Healing under these circumstances requires accepting and embracing oneself, not creating a further divide.

After Toby "caught" Emma looking at the bookshelf he became convinced that she was faking her condition. That she had been plucking symptoms from a book and performing them for him. That she fit the criteria "too well"

Emma rightfully demands to know why she would complicate her receiving HRT by doing something that prevents her being able to. The pair bicker and Toby cuts off the session abruptly.

in the heat of the moment, assuming that Emma was an attention seeker who does not deserve care, Toby declares "Your grandfather was right to hit you."

Even Emma later admits later that therapy should have ended with Toby right there and then. Hindsight is 20/20, as they say. Alas, a mixture of finances and sunk cost keep Emma returning to the chair week after week.

Being trans and having DID are terrifying. In order to receive care and treatment we must insist to a world that what is happening in our hearts and minds is true in spite of all that the world outside tells us is true. We need to not only reach that conclusion within our own lives but must express that truth loud enough that the people around us see it, regard it and accept it.

As so many things in this world are, it's so hard to earn and so easily burned.

"You're faking it for attention" is such an easy sentence to fling at someone and in a therapeutic setting all things should lead to curiosity. Even if a person were faking, it's not normal and healthy behavior for someone to do that. Toby is displaying a complete lack of curiosity and compassion. He is framing himself as the victim in a potential deception from someone who is paying what little money they can put together to receive his care.

I hate Toby.

As the story continues, Emma and her system begrudgingly continue, flitting back and forth between a healthy and unhealthy dynamic with their therapist that shares a lot of similarities to abuse honeymoons. It is worth noting that as the book is a memior it will inevitably be painted with the author's personal view of past events because, as discussed in the Umineko article on recontextualized memories, a human mind cannot avoid applying present understandings to past experiences when recalling memory. This is seen in the book when we see things that Emma cannot possibly have witnessed, such as Toby's facial expression after she leaves the office.

This is not to throw shade at how Emma depicts her former therapist, as he was quite horrid to all 3 of them and quite obviously did more harm than good during their time together. I just wish to note that skewed perspectives are an inevitability. Even still. They do make some progress in talking about the situations. We come to learn of the system origins and how Katina was a friend to the young and lonely child they used to be and that their abusive childhood was centered around physical abuse from their grandfather. While discussing this Emma notes that she could make Katina go away forever with a single phrase. A few short words that she can never ever say and mean or Katina would go away and never come back... and I think that's where I'll stop with the synopsis. I (specifically me, Dawn) broke down in tears the first time I read the book and I have no will to put myself through that again at this exact moment and I wish for you all to have the catharsis of experiencing it for yourself.

I will say in way of positivity that the story is quick to make its conclusions in the final chapters by displaying therapy done right and the fact that even if parts can no longer be heard or even felt, they will always endure in moments where they can add a little color to the world.

They got to write this book together, after all.

For all the sadness this memoir elicits it speaks an honest and hard truth of the desperation, isolation and confusion that can be found in managing sentiments of identity and gender in a time when there was so little understanding and acceptance, particularly for transgender people.

We are lucky these days to have the internet as it is where we can create community and find our people and in finding our people have a better understanding of who we are and how we can live our truths. Visibility of transgender and plural populations has been increasing in part due to the fact we are able to feel unalone and forge community.

2004 did not have those luxuries and I am saddened that Emma Grove had to live through that stigma and lost so much time to unethical and prejudice care from a clinician.

I do hope that in the future we can continue accepting and encouraging one another and living lives where we are not forced to hide, mask or pretend.

-

For other Media, Myself and I articles, please check out the following:

[mischievously-royalty]

Uhhh, GUYS.

I think I wrote the first chapter of a Radioapple fanfic...

Just- Tell me if it's good, 'kay? It still doesn't have a name cuz it's a work in progress so, I'm still thinking of a name, I can't ask you for help with the name without telling all the story's AU so, I'll resort to the one thing I trust. My sister.

______

How much love can a parent express for its child?

If you asked Lucifer, he'd start rambling about how much his daughter is an amazing woman, already planning her own hotel with... redemption?

"Redemption, you say?" A voice Lucifer much liked and adored asked.

"Yeah... It's a bit silly and in my opinion, impossible even. But I trust her and I know she'll reach great lengths, heck, maybe Heaven itself!" He answered back, chuckling a bit. "I'm currently helping her to find a territory she can estabilish as hers, I could just give her a part of my territory but she says she wants to win something on her own. Regardless of what she wants or needs, I'm very proud of her!" He soon added, gesturing vaguely to the North as to show where the hotel was most likely to be constructed.

A comfortable minute is passed between them until the soft laugh from Lucifer's company interrupts it.

"Perhaps I'll visit it later."

​_______

Lucifer's dream was interrupted by the sound of his alarm going off, he groggily sat up on his bed before he slipped his hooved feet in his duck slippers. Another dream, another memory, I guess... Lucifer thought as he stood up, letting his wings strech so his back wouldn't feel sore later on.

He grabbed his phone and checked the messages he received. Satan's email for a new meeting... Charlie inviting me over... Goetias- He froze for a minute before he checked his phone again to make sure he didn't misread it. Charlie is inviting me over?!

Needless to say he cleared his agenda just so he could visit his daughter, it has been 7 years since they last spoke after... No! Don't think of that, Lucifer! Think of your precious daughter and how she invited you over despite years of not talking to her! Lucifer interrupted himself from going to dark memories.

He took a deep breath before he called her. Thankfully, Charlie picked up right away as if she was expecting her dad to call back.

"Oh! Hey Dad!" Her voice was like music to Lucifer's ears, it had been so long since he spoke with her, he almost forgot how the sound of his daughter's voice was!

"Hey Char-Char! I... just read your message, are you inviting me over to that hotel of yours? What was it again... The... Happy Hotel?" He asked, unsure if he got the name right.

"Ah, yes, dad! Actually, we changed it to the Hazbin Hotel! I had some help with the name!" She answered, happy that her dad remembered the hotel's old name, it meant that he was interested enough to learn it.

Thank Father. Lucifer thought, letting out a sigh of relief that didn't go past his daughter but she just laughed at it. "Sorry for the reaction, Char-Char... The old name was horrible, I never said anything 'cause I wanted to support you." He explained, chuckling awkwardly.

"It's alright dad! I don't blame you for that, the old name was... something, I guess? Well! What do you think of the new name? Is it hellish and ducking enough for you?"

Lucifer couldn't see Charlie's expression, but he was sure she was grinning while he blushed heavily. He felt embarrassed whenever his daughter brought up his ducks but he tried to ignore her teasing and focus on her question.

"Well... The Hazbin Hotel does have a nice ring to it! I also liked the joke... The 'has been' hotel, it's somewhat clever, I guess!" He answered, the joke was funny enough to make Lucifer laugh, it remembered him of the dad's jokes he used to do with Charlie and his friends.

"I'm happy you like it! Anyway, I was wondering if you could visit us! I mean, I know your agenda is kinda tight and you must be pretty busy with Hell and stuff but—"

"No, no, no! Don't worry about that, I didn't had much to do today," Besides a maybe important meeting with Satan about Hell's hierarchy. Lucifer didn't say that part out loud, though. "I can arrive there in, uh, let me check... Two hours! Is that good for you, Charlie?"

Charlie stayed quiet on the other side of the line before she started jumping out of happiness (Lucifer couldn't see it but he assumed she was jumping by the sound of the ground being hit by a pair of hooves many times). "Yes, yes! That's perfect, dad! It's enough time for me to clean up the place, arrange some decorations and—" She stopped to take a deep breath, trying to stay calm. "... Thank you, dad. For everything, really."

Lucifer smiled as he heard his daughter. Even if he thought redemption was impossible, he'd have support Charlie no matter what, he loved his daughter and there was nothing that could change that fact. "Don't thank me sweetie, you were the one that achieved that. Not me, I just helped you through it."

"I'm still thankful, dad. You helped me when I need and you keep helping me whenever I need something... You're an amazing dad. I love you." Lucifer couldn't barely contain the tears that risked to fall from his eyes, but he held back until he answered he loved her back.

As Charlie hang up, Lucifer finally let the tears fall, they fell like a waterfall but he didn't try to stop them. His daughter still loves him after all, she still appreaciates all the silly things he did for her.

After a few minutes of crying, he wiped his eyes and checked the apple shaped clock on his bedroom. Two hours... He sighed, looking around the mess in his room. I could just teleport there but... I should get some things done before I visit Charlie, it's better to do it now than to do it later. And for the next two hours, Lucifer cleaned his room, organized his books, explained the situation to Satan, who was mad at him but he allowed Lucifer to postpone the meeting to Saturday. Thank Father...

When it was finally time to visit Charlie, Lucifer made sure to wear his best clothes. Charlie already knows me but what if she has residents there? Sure, this is Hell but it's better to be safe than sorry!

He took a deep breath before he opened the portal, staring at the hotel's door for two minutes before he stepped in.

It's time to do this.

____

AAAAAnd that's the end... It's more of an epilogue than a chapter, just to give a quick explanation on Charlie's relationship with Lucifer:

• Charlie and Lucifer's relationship is better than in the original series cuz Lucifer would have helped Charlie to create the hotel, they managed to bound through it

• Lucifer was an absent father, that is no difference, what changed was that his friends told him he should try to spend more time with Charlie and that's what he did

• Charlie and Lucifer stopped talking for 7 years after an event on both Charlie and Lucifer's lives that left them scarred, principally on Lucifer's side of the story.

And before you ask, there're some differences on my characters from the originals designs. For example: Lucifer has goat ears, Charlie has them too, both have hooves and it goes that way with many characters! Husk is the same cuz he's already perfect, Angel changed a bit and Nifty is... still Nifty.

Pretty please, tell me your thoughts about it!!

[sucrows]

KANATA SHINKAI + INSECURITIES

The only thing he doesn’t ever do is scold you, and that is something you couldn’t be more grateful for.

Contains: AFAB Reader, Non-penetrative Sex, Praise, Making out, Intercrural sex, Oral sex (reader receiving), Snowballing, Vaginal fingering

Word Count: 2408

(NSFW UNDER CUT)

Sometimes, you can’t help but feel a bit bad about yourself. It’s hard not to, even though others may insist that you’re overthinking, or that you’re exaggerating- that doesn’t stop your brain from saying otherwise. After all, you’re the one who lives in your body, it only makes sense for you to be aware of your flaws. 

You try to keep it to yourself, to not be a bother, but it’s hard. Sometimes something will slip out, or you’ll do something you typically wouldn't, or avoid doing something you would normally do. Sometimes, the pressure of these thoughts and words inside your head is too much and you just can’t help letting some of them out. 

Including in front of Kanata. 

He’s typically the carefree type, but you know he is a person that considers everything said to him. He’s not stupid by any means. Sometimes the response you get is him saying something positive to counteract the negative things you say about yourself, other times it’s a simple hum and a pat on the head. The only thing he doesn’t ever do is scold you, and that is something you couldn’t be more grateful for. He lets you be honest about the way you’re feeling without repercussion. 

As thankful as you are for his influence and support, it’s not a solution to your problems. Even as you get closer and closer to him and slowly open up about the things that you dislike about yourself.  His support may be unwavering, but so are your insecurities. 

It’s a calm day and you’re both relaxing in his room. He’s still soaked from his most recent escapade into the water he oh so loves, but you convinced him to at least change into dry clothes while you both hang out on his bed. At some point, this devolved into him sitting while you lay your head on his lap. 

Unfortunately, though your mind wanders as per always. Kanata is such a kind person and today, he’s spending some of his limited free time with you.

“Hey... Kanata...” 

He hums at the sound of his name being said, continuing to pet the top of your head. 

“What do you like about me?” 

He pauses for the briefest of seconds, before continuing just as before. 

“There are many ‘things’ to ‘like’ about ‘you’.” 

He shifts his position, gently sliding your head off his lap and moving so that he faces you more directly. For a second, you prepare yourself for what you think might be your first ever lecture from Kanata but instead, he reaches out his hands to cup your face in them and smiles. 

“I like ‘these’ a lot.” 

His hands thumb at your lips, touching them as he speaks. 

“i think ‘these’ are nice too.” 

His hands reach further up your face and he ghosts his thumbs over your eyelids, making you close them until he continues. 

“I like what comes out of ‘here’.” 

He holds both sides of your face and cradles your head in his hands. Is he referring to your brain as a whole? His words are tooth-achingly sweet. You had hoped for some reassurance, but you weren’t expecting to receive such definitive answers from him. 

He hums for a second, seemingly contemplating where to go from there. After a second, his hand moves downwards. 

“I ‘like’ this ‘part’ a lot too.” 

He places his hand over your chest, directly in front of your heart. 

“It’s probably ‘my favorite’.” 

Curiosity nips at your inhibitions, and you can’t help but ask. 

“In what way do you ‘like’ me?” 

Something sparkles in his eyes when you ask that question. Excitement? Mischief? You can’t quite pin down the emotion, but it excites you nonetheless when he answers you. 

“Do you ‘want’ me to ‘show’ you?” 

You think about it for a second. You could say no and stop this now but... You know damn well where this is headed, and you’d be a fool to stop yourself from getting what you want now. 

You nod and he leans in to give you the most delicate peck on the lips possible. It’s a bit awkward to have him leaning over you like this, but it does give you the perfect opportunity to reach your arms around his back and pull him back in to properly kiss you when he pulls away after the first one. 

His eyes open in surprise, but close just as quickly as they opened while he kisses you again.  

And again. And again. And again- 

He really does actually like you, huh? 

You don’t know who parts their mouth first, but before you know it, your tongues are meeting in each other's mouths, and you can barely get a full chest of air. You’ve craved this longer than you’d care to admit at this point. He truly is such a sweet person and you can’t imagine anyone else who you’d rather be having this moment with. 

Your arms reach the hem of his shirt and pull at it. Perhaps a bit of a bold move, but if there was any time in which to take this chance, you think it’s probably right now. Thankfully, he responds in kind and begins pulling at your clothing as well. 

As layers start to come off, you both get more and more excited. It still catches you off guard though when you reach for his briefs and find that underneath them, he seems to be rock hard. It actually manages to drag your face away from his and make you stare at it instead. 

“May I?” 

He pulls at the waistband of his own underwear. Asking permission to remove his own underwear? It’s a considerate gesture, but you don’t think there’s any way you could want to remove it faster than you do right now. 

You nod, grabbing the fabric and help him pull it down his legs, letting him kick them off.  

“...May I?” 

He asks again with a little giggle at the end as he reaches for your own underwear as well. You also think there’s no way you could want those off any faster either. 

You give another nod, and he immediately takes his freedom to grab and slide yours down. Briefly, you feel a bit embarrassed at being exposed, but a single glance at how hard he his swiftly eases your thoughts. 

With you both bare, Kanata now returns his lips to yours and slowly pushes you backwards until you’re laying on your back once again. 

He settles himself in between your legs without hesitation and you worry for a moment. You’re most definitely not prepared to take him yet- just making out is not enough foreplay to make penetration comfortable. You open your mouth to warn him but he places a finger in front of your lips before you can voice a single concern. 

“Don’t ‘worry’.” 

He hums softly as he places his cock in between your legs, resting it on your sex. 

“I’m not doing ‘that’ yet~.” 

He thrusts against your body, not making any move to actually stick anything inside of you. Your anxiety eases at the sight and you lay your head back and decide to just relax. It feels... good. Better than you expected. Just some humping like this has you wanting more. You do suppose the majority of your nerves are outside your body rather than inside.  

He grabs your legs and pushes them together, creating the perfect place for him to thrust his dick in and out of. It also adds pressure onto your cunt as well, making you want to squeeze them tighter as well. He moans out loud at the feeling and starts to slowly move a bit faster. 

Your folds glisten from a combination of his precum and your own slick. His breath hitches every time you two rut against each other. When you look down, you can see the head of his cock poking out between your legs. It brushes against your clit, providing you with stimulation that has you fluttering your eyes closed. 

He squeezes your legs together even tighter and pushes them further back, shifting your weight higher on your back as he bears down onto you. The space in between your legs is utterly soaked and squelches with every single one of your shared movements- you wonder how good it would feel from behind or with you on top... 

You tap on Kanata’s arms. 

“Here, let me.” 

He swiftly pauses and backs off, still painfully hard and eager to get back at it again. You push on his chest until he’s the one laying back on the bed and you’re the one climbing onto him instead. 

You straddle his hips and place his dick so that it’s flat onto his stomach, then lower yourself until you’re grinding on it. 

If you thought it felt good before, it feels amazing now. Gliding up and down his shaft, the movements has pressure being placed directly onto your clit from behind it’s hood. It’s even better the times you grind over the head of his cock. Whenever you do that, you get the joy of going over the ridge separating it from the rest of the shaft. It’s something that makes not only you want to keel over in pleasure but also brings the most delicious sounds out of Kanata’s mouth as well. 

Before long, you're finding a rhythm and he’s joining in on it too. With every one of your movements, he’s thrusting against you to the best of his ability which makes everything feel all the better.  

Your legs get weaker with every move, and you feel your climax rapidly approaching. You don’t want yourself to be coming before he gets the chance too, so you redouble your efforts around his head to get him closer as well. You grind down even harder and let your clit catch every single time on the ridge. 

It’s like boiling water is coursing under your skin as you finally cum. You moan loudly and press yourself directly onto the tip of his cock as you cum and to your luck- Kanata thrusts up against you and finishes as well. He paints your pussy white with his seed as he moans as well.  

You both sit, panting after the event. It takes a good minute for you to feel your senses returning after it and Kanata seems to be the same. He reaches out a hand to gently caress your cheek and, to your surprise, calls out your name to get your attention. 

When you meet his eyes, he smiles. 

“I ‘like you’ a lot.” 

Your face rapidly starts to burn as you take in his words. Getting pinned down and riding him didn’t have you feeling embarrassed, but a few sweet words sure do have the power to completely throw you for a loop. 

“I like you too.” 

He smiles placidly unlike your reaction; He’s an enigma to you at times. He reaches out his other hand to grab onto one of yours and play with your fingers. It’s a sweet gesture that has you deep in thought while he does it. 

“May i ‘show’ you more?” 

The question snaps you out of your brain. Well.... if one of his ways of “showing you” before was to try and make you cum, well... you aren’t averse to seeing what other ways he has to show you.  

You hum in agreement and nod at him. Just like always, he’s smiling as he pats your thigh to get you to shift off of him. When you pick up a leg to move away, a droplet of mixed fluids slips off your dirtied cunt. You wince as it lands on Kanata’s leg, but to your surprise, he just reaches out a finger and brings it up to his lips. The sight is hotter than you expected it to be. 

As it turns out, that gesture is exactly what he intends to do anyways. He’s quickly parting your legs and lowering his face down to be in between them as he starts to clean you off. It looks completely lewd to see him in between your thighs with his tongue coated in his own spend as he slides it right in between your folds.  

It doesn’t just look nice; your body is still sensitive from your previous orgasm. It makes you want to squirm every time he licks, and your hips buck every time he flicks his tongue against your clit. You wonder how he managed to get good at this. 

He doesn’t neglect your hole either. He uses his fingers to stretch you out and play with you even more. He slides them in and out, curling and scissoring while he suckles on your clit. You bury your hands in his hair but try to resist the urge to guide him by it- it's so much more satisfying to let it be out of your control as he does his best to follow the sounds your body makes.  

It doesn’t take long for you to start moaning out loud again, letting yourself loose with his encouragement. You find it harder and harder to stop yourself from clamping your thighs around his head and bucking against it. He’s good, but he’s also so incredibly slow about it. You desperately want him to move faster, to press harder, but he continues at his languid pace that draws out your pleasure. You teeter on the edge oh so close. Just a little more.... 

Finally, he seems to get the hint, and presses the tip of his tongue straight into your clit, pushing harshly against your pelvis to properly stimulate it. All your restraint goes out the window and your legs swiftly close around his head and you nearly wail in pleasure.  

Kanata takes it like a champ, unmoving and continuing to press on the same spot until you ride out the heaviest of the waves and begin to slowly ease up on the sides of his head. When he pulls back, you can see the lower half of his face completely slick with your fluids. You have half a mind to be embarrassed at just how debauched you both look at this moment but instead of letting that show, you drag him up to your face to make out with him again instead. 

Tasting yourself on his lips, you wonder just how much further you two will go tonight. 

[wesleysniperking]

25 things I remember and tell myself when it's tough to support Usopp in a shonen world.

1. If Usopp had a solo movie, it would make up for his lack of screen time.

2. If When Elbaf is his moment to shine, it can absolutely counter everything haters say he lacks. Usopp is fabulous regardless; he just doesn't see it himself.

3. I'm not sure why other fans get mad when people defend their favorite character. If an Usopp fan sees a comment like "Usopp needs to go die in a hole," it's natural to respond. Insulting someone's favorite character invites a reaction.

4. Usopp is awesome and has nothing to prove.

5. There's a beauty in retrospect. I believe he'll receive better reception by the time I'm using a walker. Yesterday's taboos are today's norms.

6. You can't take away Usopp's sniping abilities. He may be called the weakest, but no one can deny he's the best sniper. Look at his dad.

7. I believe people have forgotten storyteller Usopp, especially when they don't understand why Elbaf is significant.

8. If Usopp doesn't get his moment in Elbaf, fans will be justifiably upset. Franky's Egghead and Zoro's Wano arcs had different build-ups. Who's the outlier here?

9. Saying Usopp doesn't have Observation Haki is the dumbest thing haters say. Even non-canon reminds us that he has it. Some are just mad that he got it.

10. I don't understand how someone can passionately hate Usopp and how he's written without blaming Oda. Criticizing Usopp's writing implies Oda's done some bad writing, which is okay! No one is perfect.

11. Of all the reasons Usopp is hated, the Wano situation where he told Nami to lie is the most frustrating to defend. It genuinely beats out Water 7.

12. Usopp is the most flawed Straw Hat in the fandom's eyes. I compare him to King David a lot, especially since David is considered a warrior king who fought Goliath and was heavily flawed, yet God still loved him. Like King David, who was one of God's favorites because he had a good heart and held no pride, Usopp isn't as prideful, arrogant, or selfish as he seems. He doesn't even lie that much. People wonder why Luffy let Usopp join; it's because Luffy, like God with David, sees a good heart with no pride in Usopp.

13. Whatever happens, flaws and all, Usopp will always be my favorite.

14. I don't understand how fans can talk so badly about Usopp. Yes, people find him grating and irredeemable. But neglecting a humanist approach is scary. If you can't tolerate a character like Usopp and put him down as weak, inferior, and irredeemable, something's wrong.

15. I might project onto Usopp, and he might be my comfort character, but I root for him and accept him for who he is. Recently, I thought I wouldn't pass my finance class at university but managed to get a B with enough grit and tenacity. Usopp faces that all the time!

16. If you're waiting for Usopp to "finally be brave," you might need to find another character. It's like picking a university degree; Usopp isn't for you.

17. Despite everything, Usopp is still awesome. No one will ever overshadow him to me. I'm all in with tunnel vision.

18. Usopp embodies the idea that the greatest are the least, and the least are the greatest.

19. 19. Usopp is only 19. People need to give him grace. At 19, I was still a kid!

20. If Usopp is such a bum, why do people remember him? How does he bring the crew down? Recently, there's nothing to suggest he's hindered the crew's success.

21. Sniper King doesn't need to come back. It annoys me when haters say he needs to return because they hate the current Usopp. It's a weird flex.

22. Yes, Yasopp isn't a good dad, but he's not the worst anime dad. It bothers me when people emphasize this to prove Usopp is a “bum” compared to his crewmates. It's unfair.

23. I believe Oda is saving something big for him. If I'm wrong, it will be devastating, but I'll find a way to defend it. I won't be alone.

24. Syrup Village is a goated arc. Usopp is the reason the crew got a ship.

25. Disregarding all agendas, ships, headcanons, theories, and projections, Usopp is still a character worth respecting and rooting for. This will be MORE evident 20+ years from now. Just wait.

usopp community I created. feel free to join. (still wip, but you can post anything!).

Gif credit

[chaot-c]

That's so Raven Update!

Hello Everybody!

I just needed to pop in after a very busy day and say thank you from the bottom of my heart. I posted those emergency commissions yesterday in a huge panic because, on top of several unexpected expenses, my normally hyperactive dog was limping, lethargic, and not eating or drinking. He's a Belgian Malinois, and to anybody familiar with the breed, that is an extremely abnormal and concerning behavior change. Those dogs take bullets and keep running. He has previously knocked out his own goddamn tooth on a wall and was mad that I wouldn't keep throwing the ball while I checked out where the blood was coming from.

I was able to afford to take him to the vet today and get him on a painkiller, nerve blocker, and pain management meds while we wait for imaging and surgery next week. Thankfully, he has some coverage so I'm not expecting multiple thousands of dollars for the procedures, but I'll still be expecting a minimum of $550. I will almost certainly be able to cover all of that with the help I've gotten and continue to get.

I can't put a price or number on peace of mind. I get really embarrassed about asking for help, or telling people when things are wrong. I wasn't raised to be able to lean on anybody, let alone the support of a community, and I can't even describe to you guys how much this was able to help me learn to do that. Obviously, I won't be going around asking for money every few days now, but to be able to bite my pride and ask for help took a lot. I received a lot for it. My therapist would be proud (/j).

I wouldn't have been able to do anything without you guys so, genuinely, thank you so much. I would call out some of the people who donated directly, but I don't know if they want that, so I'm electing to just send private messages. I'm getting started on everything tonight now that my major priority has been dealt with.

Here's some dog tax below the cut for everyone who wants to see the baby.

[kasdan]

birthday hcs 🎂

it may or may not be my birthday today so i decided to write some headcanons on how the characters would celebrate with you<3 (saying i'm 20 now is wack)

pairings: loki x gn!reader, frank castle x gn!reader, carol danvers x gn!reader

warnings: fluffffff, very slight itty bitty suggestive themes if you squint and tilt your head, not proofread

marvel masterlist

𝑳𝒐𝒌𝒊

doesn't really see birthdays as being that special considering how old he is and how many he's had, but will make an effort for yours since learning traditions are different on midgard 

struggles with being forced to share you on the day where he just wants to lock you in your bedroom all day and have you to himself

plans a party for you anyway, wanting you to feel special on your day

will plan an extravagant outfit for you and leave it on your bed for you to put on before the party

the outfit is green obviously because he wouldn't want you in any other color

he's only a tad bit possessive it's fine

you two walk into the party arm in arm looking like a perfect couple 

finds himself smiling slightly when he sees you having a good time

doesn't leave your side for the whole night and periodically checks up on you to make sure you're enjoying yourself

gets you the most gifts out of everyone, and makes a slight competition on him getting you the most, and best, of the gifts you receive at the party

you figure out what he's doing early on and you just smile up at him kissing his cheek in content, causing him to hold you closer to him as you open the rest of the gifts

ends up not completely minding that he's sharing you with this many people at the end when he sees how happy you are, and just wants to see you happy

but he does get excited when you ask to leave the party finally, done with all the partying for the night

wraps himself around you and doesn't let go until late into the next morning

𝑭𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝑪𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒍𝒆

would prefer to just spend the day in with you rather than do anything extravagant

however, if you want to go out for it, he wouldn't stop you and would just want to support you in the best way he could

cooks all meals for you the entire day, including any snacks you might want, and will go out to get any missing ingredients that he needs

he knows if you're holding back on anything that you want that day and will force the truth out of you of what you want

will gladly just lay in bed all day with you if that's what you want

barely lets you get up to use the bathroom

all in all just wants to pamper you the entire day

will become your bitch for the day and will do whatever you want without asking twice

you want ice cream? he'll be out the door before you get all the words out and back 10 minutes later with 5 different pints for you to choose from

your feet hurt? he's picking you up and having you ride around the apartment on his back the entire day

no matter how much you try to get off and insist that you can get to the kitchen on your own feet, he's ignoring you and placing you on the counter before asking what you wanted from the kitchen so he could get it for you

just wants you to have the best day possible because he loves you<3

𝑪𝒂𝒓𝒐𝒍 𝑫𝒂𝒏𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔

gets up early in order to make you breakfast and will carry it into the room when you wake up so you can eat it in bed

plans out the whole day for you so you can have the best time 

puts together a surprise party for you with the help of your friends and kamala because once she knows there's a surprise party in place she has to help

takes you out to lunch and then tells you that she planned a dinner for tonight so you should both look for a new outfit for you to wear, even though you're really just picking out an outfit to wear at the surprise party

you both end up getting off track and trying on random outfits that don't go together in the slightest and making your own fashion show

eventually you get an outfit and move to the register to pay after being threatened to get kicked out of the store if you don't pay for something

doesn't even give you a chance to get your card out to pay, she's already handing over her card to the cashier glancing your way with a grin before you could even move to reach for yours

struggles to come up with more things to do while the party is still being set up, so she insists on a walk in the park to give more time for everyone to set everything up

finally gets the text that everything's ready and pushes you into the park bathroom to get dressed

makes an excuse that she forgot something at home so you have to go back first before heading to dinner

convinces you to go in with her even though you're sure the thing she's getting shouldn't take more than a couple minutes to get

you understand why she wanted you to go with her when you walk in the doorway and suddenly the lights turn on and there are a bunch of people in the room screaming surprise

brings in the cake that she made earlier in the week with the help from monica because she was failing miserably 

overall, she's just happy that she was able to give you a day that you can be happy about

buy me a coffee ♡

[beardedmrbean]

WILMINGTON, Del. − A federal jury convicted Hunter Biden of federal gun charges, a historic first for the offspring of a sitting president, after a trial featuring wrenching emotional testimony about his drug use from his ex-wife and sister-in-law.

President Joe Biden's son faces up to 25 years in prison for three charges − lying on a federal screening form about his drug use, lying to a gun dealer and possessing the gun − although first-time, nonviolent offenders typically get shorter sentences.

The 54-year old businessman and attorney's case came after a plea deal fell apart in July 2023 that could have resolved gun and taxes charges without prison time. Hunter Biden still faces another federal trial starting Sept. 5 in California for allegedly avoiding taxes.

Biden's legal troubles coincide with his father campaigning for reelection. But the elder Biden as the trial kicked off issued a statement supporting his son and later told ABC News he wouldn't pardon him.

Follow along for live updates from the USA TODAY Network.

What is Hunter Biden guilty of?

The president's son was convicted on three firearms felonies. In October 2018, Hunter Biden walked into a gun shop north of Wilmington, Delaware, and purchased a revolver. People who purchase firearms are required to fill out a standardized form that asks whether they are an unlawful user or are addicted to controlled substances, narcotics and other listed substances. Biden is accused of answering "no" to that question on the form.

But Biden has been open about his longtime struggles with crack cocaine addiction. He's written about it in his 2021 memoir, "Beautiful Things," and discussed it during a court hearing last year, stating he's been sober since 2019.

Biden faces a maximum sentence of 25 years in prison, although first-time and non-violent offenders are often given shorter terms.

– Xerxes Wilson

Hunter Biden looks to lawyer, wife after verdict announced

Hunter Biden pat Abbe Lowell, his lawyer, on the back after his felony conviction was announced. He then turned to look at his wife, Melissa Cohen Biden and hugged other members of his defense team.

He was holding his wife's hand as he was ushered into elevators after the court adjourned.

– Xerxes Wilson and Esteban Parra

Hallie Biden received texts about drugs from Hunter Biden

Hallie Biden, the widow of Beau Biden, testified during the trial about how her brother-in-law introduced her to drugs. She also walked the jury through a series of text messages in the days after Hunter Biden bought the gun on Oct. 12, 2018.

A text the next day said he was behind a baseball stadium in Wilmington “waiting on a dealer named Mookie.”

Hallie Biden later texted Hunter Biden, stating that she tried calling him “500 times in the past 24 hours.” He eventually responded: “I was sleeping on a car smoking crack on 4th Street and Rodney.”

Hunter Biden called Hallie Biden ‘stupid’ for trashing gun

Hallie Biden told the jury she found the gun in Hunter Biden's car 11 days after he bought it. Rather than risk their kids finding it, she put the gun in a leather case and drove to a grocery store, where she threw it into a trash can.

“I realized it was a stupid idea now, but I was just panicking,” Hallie Biden said.

Hunter Biden confronted her when he discovered what she had done.

“It’s hard for me to believe anyone is that stupid,” Hunter Biden said in a text. “Do you want me dead?” he asked in a later text.

Retiree found gun in grocery store trash can

An 80-year-old retiree, Edward Banner, who scavenged trash containers for aluminum cans, found the gun outside Janssen’s Market in Greenville. A state police lieutenant tracked him down and asked whether he’d found anything unusual.

“I definitely remember finding that,” Banner said.

FBI chemist found cocaine residue on Hunter Biden gun pouch

Forensic chemist Jason Brewer testified that he found cocaine in the residue on the leather pouch that held Hunter Biden’s gun. Two spots on the pouch had a “minimal amount” of “off-white powder,” which Brewer pointed out in a picture prosecutors projected onto a screen in Biden’s trial on gun charges.

“Cocaine was identified within the residual white particles I sampled,” he told the jury.

Biden trial followed collapse of plea deal for gun and tax charges

A plea agreement that fell apart last July offered the possibility Biden could avoid jail time for all of the charges. Noreika rejected the deal because of disputes between prosecutors and defense lawyers about Biden’s protection from future charges.

Attorney General Merrick Garland appointed the U.S. attorney in Delaware, David Weiss, a special counsel to continue an independent investigation. Biden's lawyer, Abbe Lowell, argued unsuccessfully the charges should be dismissed because no new evidence had emerged since the plea agreement.

The gun indictment charged Biden with knowingly deceiving a firearms dealer by buying a Colt Cobra 38SPL revolver. He was charged with falsely filling out a federal form denying he was addicted to any narcotics. And he was charged with knowingly possessing the revolver despite the restrictions against people addicted to drugs owning firearms. The three charges carried a maximum penalty of 25 years in prison.

The tax indictment charges Biden with three felony tax offenses and six misdemeanors. He allegedly engaged in a scheme in which he failed to pay at least $1.4 million in self-assessed taxes from 2016 through 2019, and also evaded tax assessment for 2018 when he filed false returns.

The previous agreement would have allowed Biden to plead guilty to two misdemeanor tax charges, which could have resulted in no jail time, and enter a pretrial program for a gun charge that could have been dismissed if he complied.

But Republicans blasted the agreement as a sweetheart deal and Hunter Biden became a lightning rod for criticism of his father.

[okiedokiegoosey]

theories w/ rocki bc @caterva told me to put it on the dash:

today's edition: cooper howard is not a naturally occurring ghoul.

i am pointedly putting this on lucy and not barb because we're going to talk about how it affects lucy and cooper's interactions. i may expand upon it on barb later. under the cut bc i am long winded and do not want to clog your dash with my cooper was an experiment theory.

disclaimer: these are my thoughts and opinions and that's it. they aren't law. do not have to apply to anyone. they're just here as thoughts and theories. that's it.

let's discuss how cooper howard is nothing like a naturally occurring ghoul in the fallout universe.

the first time we meet the ghoul, he's in the ground, and he's let up every year by dom pedro, but he's hooked to the same chem that's in the vials via iv. this directly goes against the general knowledge of natural ghouls being a. highly chem resistant and b. able to go on for at least a few decades without intervention for turning feral. it's important to note that todd howard himself said the show was canon, so that means game lore is in play here.

he called himself a bucket of drugs, which also, doesn't make sense to a naturally occurring ghoul or his personal character motives and development to that point. chem addiction itself is not uncommon in the fallout universe, but if we take his character as a whole. he takes it as it comes, he's a bucket of drugs. we see no indication in his supply that it's a chem addiction. hancock had a chem addiction that started his ghoulification. howard? yeah. no way.

and we have to consider how close he was to the memories of his past life after two hundred years and what he says about torture to lucy. he strung her up and lucy immediately dived into her own memories and personal mission to make him see reason. he immediately brings up studies, and if you look at his face, you can see a whole play of emotions before he said anything. that points in the direction of him having been where she was at some point. on the receiving end of what he perceived as torture.

so, let's say he was an experiment and not the product of continued radiation exposure. that also explains why his reaction was SO BIG to lucy smashing his supply. There is something inherently wrong with his regeneration and degeneration rates to need support beyond maybe radaway/radx on occasion to keep the radiation at a healthier rate? If the radiation were that bad, for him to need chem support so frequently, people would be dropping like flies due to the radiation. we don't see any evidence of that.

in theory, there's more than enough evidence to say he was tested on in a vault (hence why he knew at least janey made it in to one and not where she went after) and he likely wasn't the most willing to go in but did it for his daughter (dad of the century. take notes hank). If they'd separated them under the guise of protocol, he likely would've been more receptive to letting janey go before they went to night night sleep. it would also explain why he asks where the hell they are, because he knows for a fact at least janey is in a vault and likely trusts barb followed her own plan and went in one, too (more on that later. on barb). yes, he hated vault tec. that isn't up for debate. what is up for debate is how far he went to protect his daughter. his memory of where he knew she should be is too clear to indicate he was knocked out at any point. he knows they're in the vaults. that part he doesn't debate. he wouldn't know that unless he put janey in one himself. it would be more likely that he assumed at least she died.

now, what does this have to do with lucy? i'd be kinda hostile if i saw someone in a vault tec suit and i was their pet project, too. let's be clear about that. It's how he tells her he's her and to give it time is what I want to draw on first. we assume he means physically given the constant callback to her checking her radiation levels, but consider he meant mentally. that he too was a product of their design and look at how he turned out. he'd already called it quits with vault tec before the drop to think that kept him bitter. something in what we didn't see has his ire for them even higher.

plus, the name maclean would've triggered some memory. moldaver, too. we saw that. we know he's got a good grip on his mind (another reason the constant chem recall makes no sense in the grand scheme of things). i truly think his initial motive with lucy was to fuck with her because of her connection to vault tec. it was luck and chance she was useful to his personal mission, at least in the beginning.

let's put this naive (not dumb unless it's street smarts, in which she has no experience) girl in front of someone who has been through hell and back and still just wants to find her family. You see he's still capable of humanity (which goes against him being on the edge of turning feral too) because he does, in a way take responsibility for her, covers for her, and at least invites her along later.

nothing about this is to say the relationship can't turn romantic, okay? we aren't discussing that. if you want that for what you're writing, go for it. the room for interpretation is a beautiful thing, but at the very least, he cares enough about her to help her see her mission through to the end, too.

we aren't even going to mention the ghoul organs for sale which really wouldn't do anyone any good unless they're for science and research, which feeds back into the logic that someone is running experiments.

AGAIN ROCKI; TL;DR: all of this is to say that there are inconsistencies in the lore we know about ghouls and cooper howard to say he was a naturally occurring ghoul. his chem dependence leads to inaccuracies of his own cognitive function, and he was likely experimented on. it also explains why dom pedro kept him as he did in it's own way. his chem dependence also makes him unique in terms of a ghoul, and it's my theory that vault tec made him the way that he is.

[mssstojifushiguro]

Money Power Glory (Toji F. x fem reader)

Midnight Event

22:47pm

You was getting ready for the social event you was excited for, because it wasn't just any event but it was the one where all the big rich company owners had met up for fun at midnight. You had no idea why Gojo was invited, although it could have been because of his modelling career in support of their brands, despite the fact that the event was for CEO's and other important people.

You applied for a job at a company that was well suited with your degree so you was just waiting for the call or email to say you got the job. You had enough money to pay the bills and buy clothes and other shit for yourself. Since your grandma made the best decision to make a savings account even before you was born because your mother was so untrustworthy. But having a job would keep you occupied.

"Y/n are you ready yet? I'll be in the car." Satoru knocked on your bedroom door. "Okay, I'll be down in a bit." The drive was about an hour because of traffic but it would be 30 minutes if there wasn't any, you was done anyways.

You took one last look in the mirror admiring the dress you purchased. It was an all black bodycon D&G maxi dress matched with your favourite purse and heels.

Usually you would wear crocs anywhere you would go without a care in the world but today wasn't the day. Well maybe putting them in the car just in case wouldn't hurt.

Walking out the room you grabbed your crocs just near the door and made your way to the car.

You got inside and Satoru was staring at you with awe. "Damn Y/n you look sexy- Wait why do you have crocs? Don't tell me you're gonna wear them at some point."

His expression turned from impressed to concerned. "Thank you Toru. But it's just in case, I won't be wearing it I don't think. Better safe than sorry." You shrugged and Gojo just scoffed driving off.

OOO

You and Satoru got to the location and it was so beautiful, the car was in front of the entrance where the paparazzi where all waiting for the people attending. Once you and Satoru got out the car the paparazzi all 'oooed' and 'awwed' at you, but probably and most likely they were paying attention to Satoru you thought. He gave the keys to the valet.

Then that's when the flashes of the cameras blinded your eyes, maybe it was fine for Satoru but for you it felt like hell. You slid your arm onto your friend as he guided you to the entrance of the event.

"Mr Gojo, who is this beautiful woman?"

"Is that your girlfriend?"

"How did you guys meet?"

"What brand will you be walking for next?"

"What is your name woman?"

"Who are you?"

The paparazzi yelled over each other with questions you two never intended to answer.

After what felt like forever you finally made it into the extravagant building. The walls were covered in paintings, and chandeliers hung from the great white ceiling. The personnel was dressed professionally and walked like models, evidently trained for occasions such as this.

"You nervous Y/n?" Satoru asked with a smirk feeling the strength of your grip as you held onto him.

"Yes. Very." You replied receiving a chuckle from your best friend. "You know Getou is somewhere here."

You raised your eyebrow surprised. "I thought he went to England for a show?" "He did only just getting back today and coming here." You nodded wondering why you never knew he was coming here as well.

"He's saved seats for us at a table, so lets go there." "Okay." Just as you and Satoru was heading to the hall a woman in her 50's approached you guys. "Oh Satoru, it's so nice to see you!" The lady exclaimed and pulled him into a hug. "Hi Donna!" She then locked eyes with you as you awkwardly stood there. "Well who is this beautiful lady?" She pulled you into a hug and kissed your cheek. "This is Y/n my best friend, she's my plus one." "Hello Y/n, you look amazing." You smiled and thanked her. Still, you had no idea who she was.

"Oh sorry for not introducing myself any sooner, I'm Donatella Versace." That's when it clicked. How did you not realise any sooner that she was the Donna. You had no idea how to reply. "You should come model for me Y/n, what's your number?" She pulled her phone out getting ready to dial in your number. You looked at Satoru to help and he did. "Oh Donna I don't think she's-"

Well he tried.

"No one asked you to talk Gojo, put in your number darling." Donna put her phone towards you and you couldn't help but put your number in, you didn't wanna be rude.

"Thank you, I'll call you for the rest of your details." Then she walked off and you can finally breathe.

"Oh my lord, she's so stubborn." Satoru sighed. "I really just met one of the most famous fashion designers in the world and she has my number." You grinned ear to ear.

"You're not special, she has mine and Getou's." You rolled your eyes at Satoru. "Stop being a hater."

You went into the hall and found Getou at a table sitting with some other people that also looked like they could be models. Getou noticed you two and waved at yous. There was two spare seats and it was obviously meant for you and Satoru. You sat down and hugged Getou whom you haven't seen for almost two weeks.

"Hey Y/n how you been." "I've been good, I missed you." You spoke with him for a few before getting introduced to the other people at the table and they were all nice and models. You was the only one that wasn't one.

All of a sudden, there was a commotion outside, everything became twice as loud, and people began to move aside as though a very terrifying visitor had just arrived. Then, the room was overrun with bodyguards, and there was silence.

Out of all the guards, a man in his mid-30s, stood out from the others. He had dark hair, was large and tall, and was dressed entirely in black. His lips were scarred deeply on the side, and his eyes were narrow and also dark. He had an attractive look. He entered the area with a sneer on his face, asserting his superiority.

He had a sinister demeanour. Dangerously alluring.

Satoru budged your arm with a smirk. "He looks just like your type don't you think?" "Of course not." Well that was a big fat lie he was 100% your type.

The man made eye contact with you as he turned to face you, winked, and widened his grin. You thought you were going to melt away at that point from this man's attractiveness, and he acknowledged you. Even winked at you, making you want to scream loudly.

"Y/n he noticed you, I think you should go get your sugar daddy." Mei Mei the one sat opposite you suggested. "What? No way, he's way older." You argued knowing damn well you was considering her idea. "That's the whole point lovely." She said like she was plotting something.

The man sat down on a table at the back and all of his men scattered in every corner of the room. Just who was this man?

Soon the person who was hosting the event, Alexander Lacron, the CEO of one of the biggest car companies in the world came on stage. "Hello everyone, thank you for all coming here as today is a special event for us company owners. Some of yous might not be an owner of a company or have a big role in a big company, so that means you're here just because I simply like who you are. I'm glad to be hosting this event this year and I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I will. You are free to talk among yourselves, drink, eat and even share business ideas." With that the man came off stage and everyone clapped.

Then everyone got up from their seats and went to wherever they felt like being. Satoru and Getou ended up going elsewhere and so did the other models leaving you with Mei Mei. "Let's go to the bar." She got up and so did you heading in the same direction.

It had been a while since you had a drink so a few wouldn't hurt so bad. You sat down next to the tall pretty lady and just spoke and laughed about whatever came to mind.

OOO

It was about an hour into the event and you and Mei Mei were laughing your asses off talking about funny encounters. Then Mei got a phone call and said she would be right back. Five minutes passed and she still wasn't back, but then a person came and sat on the stool directly next to you. Which irked you since there were seats all along the bloody bar, it was longer than a damn limo and that person decided to sit right next to you.

"Can I buy you a drink?" A deep raspy voice asked causing you to turn your head and realise it was the attractive man that silenced everyone with his presence. "Yeah sure." He smelled great, which fit his persona far too perfectly. "Can I get two Don Julio's on the rocks." The bartender nodded and started making the drinks.

"My name is Toji Fushiguro." He said obviously wanting a name in return. "I'm Y/n L/n." Toji hummed thinking if it sounded familiar. "I've never heard of your last name before, do you own a company?" "No I'm actually here as a plus one for my friend but he's gone somewhere." The bartender served your drinks and you thanked him.

"What does you friend do?" This man was rather curious, but you didn't mind. "He's a model. What do you do?" "I own Zen'in Group." You raised your eyebrows surprised, you was talking to the richest man in the world. You swore your blood pressure was going through the sky. There was so many people with big companies here but you didn't notice until they mentioned.

"Damn, is that why you have so many guards?" "Yes and no it's more for a different reason." "What are you gonna get killed?" You joked sipping your drink. "Something like that, my family is out to kill me." Then you choked. He didn't sound like he was kidding. "I'm pretty sure everyone here knows that. Other than you." You looked around and no one was even near him scared that they would get killed if they were close to him.

"If they was here would they kill you right now?" He shook his head and sipped his drink. "Not as easy as you think to catch me darling, not in front of the public. Though they might be here watching my every move." You wanted to stop talking to this man, but at the same time you wanted to stay.

You looked around for Getou and Satoru, they were no where to be seen. "You're not gonna get killed if you're next to me." "No shit, I'm not their target." You scoffed and shook the small glass in circles making the ice clink.

You tried not to put on a frown as you sipped the remaining strong liquor. "Why did you buy me a drink?" You asked out of curiosity. "You stood out, it seems all the other people in here had set their eyes on you even I did, if I didn't buy a drink for you they would've so I beat them to it." You smiled at his remark as the effects of your excessive drinking began to set in. "I bet they would've gotten me an even more expensive drink too." Keeping your gaze on him, you spoke to him. He chuckled and shook his head.

If this man offered to get out of here you wouldn't hesitate to say yes. Toji grinned and finished his drink then turned to look at you again gazing at your lips he wondered about. "Should I take you to the bar with the most expensive drink in the world?" He asked the question and you nodded, you wasn't about to turn down such an offer from Toji.

"Let's go sweetheart." Usually you hated names like that but the way it rolled off his tongue made it sound sexy. You got up and lead the way to the exit, immediately all the men that were all over the building joined you and Toji. A car pulled up and the paparazzi tried to see who was with Toji but failed since the guards covered you up pretty well.

OOO

You got to the bar and it was completely empty, but stunning. Everywhere was covered in gold and the lights were red. "This place is beautiful isn't it?" Toji asked. "Yeah it really is, how did you find out about it?"

His ego went up as he prepared to say how, "I own it." "Oh yeah of course." You wasn't surprised, asking that question was a waste of breath. You found the bar and there was a tall man in bartending attire with a cigarette in his lips as he dried off the glasses. He spotted you and furrowed his eyebrows then looked behind you to seeing Toji. Immediately he took his cigarette and put it in the ashtray putting on a fake smile, since he was shaking in his boots.

Just how scary was Toji to people? To you he was just some hot wealthy guy.

You sat on a stall and Toji took the one next to you. "Get her a billionaire vodka and a Don Julio on the rocks." The guy paused for a slight second looked at you then Toji. "Is there a problem?" He glared, at the poor worker, getting impatient. "No sir, I apologise." The bartender started to get to work. He turned around and opened a special looking fridge and carefully brought out a diamond covered white bottle and placed it on the table. He got the shot glass out and put that in front of you as well.

Just before the guy put his hands on the bottle, Toji took the bottle and poured the clear liquid in your glass for you. "Drink it." You took the glass in your fingers and brought it to your lips drinking it like a shot. You tried not to make a sour face but it was so rich and cold, your hand covered your mouth. It was like any other vodka just in a fancy bottle and it was more sour, bitter and a little earthy.

"How is it?" Toji asked intrigued, you had to be honest, and so you was. "Horrible." Vodka was not your type of drink at all, you liked drinks that were mixed and obviously sweet like a tequila sunrise. "Yeah I would've thought so too." Toji's drink was now in front of him.

You started to feel the effects of all the drinks you had tonight run in your blood. Your first drink today was 2 pina colada's with Mei Mei and champagne from one of the servers walking around with some, then you had a Don Julio and now a vodka shot. "Do you think anyone else can get you a more expensive drink than this?" You shook your head. "How much is it?"

"Oh you don't have to worry about that darling." You searched for your phone in your purse and saw a text message from Getou asking you where you was, so you texted him back the truth. Well you tried to, because staring at the keyboard too long made it hard to type, you was still conscious of yourself and autocorrect saved your ass.

You put your phone back in your purse and sighed resting your head on your palm and looked at Toji who looked at you as he sipped his drink and set it on the table. 'God he's so handsome.' You thought smiling warmly. "Thank you beautiful." "Hm, for what?"

"You called me handsome." You put your hands over and sighed heavily. "Fuck...you wasn't meant to hear that. I was thinking out loud." He laughed at your embarrassment but found it cute. "At least I now know you think I'm handsome." "You gotta know at some point." You gazed at him.

You felt your body go warm as your eyes trailed to the open area of his chest, then his big thighs. He noticed you cross your legs and shift in your seat.

"C'mere." Toji beckoned and you went to stand up from your stool but when you looked on the floor you stopped. Everything was moving and it made you feel sick. "What's wrong?" You chuckled nervously, "M' just a bit tipsy that's all." He got up and helped you up by your waist using one finger to lift your chin. "Looking down is only gonna make you sick all over your pretty dress."

With his hand still around your waist you and him made your way to the exit of the bar.

OOO

It was 20 minutes after you got in the car with Toji and the car was on its way to your house. You was straddling his lap and his face was in your hands as you made out with him, you don't even remember how the fuck it ended up like this. One minute you were talking about random shit and the next you were sat on his lap.

"Fuck you're so sexy." His hands trailed from your tits to your ass massaging it in his big hands. Your dress was hiked up all the way to the bottom of your ass. He groaned feeling his cock harden even more every time you grinded on him, you felt bad for the driver but at the same time you didn't care. It was a big spacious car so your movement wasn't restricted.

"Mhh Toji wait." You got off him and went on your knees between his legs, Toji knew what was gonna happen and he looked forward to it. You unbuttoned his trousers and unzipped them biting your lip knowing that he was big.

The car came to a stop and you looked up confused, then realised you had arrived in front of your house. "Oh shit." Toji sighed in annoyance and you got back up. "Sir, we have arrived."

Toji wanted to ask you so bad if he could take you to a hotel, but it was late and you had to go. You got your purse and held your heels in your other hand. "I'll see you some other time, bye Toji." "Wait your num-" Just as he was about to ask for your number you shut the door on him. You would've waited to hear what he said but you really needed to pee.

The car drove off and you was banging on the door to get one of the boys to open the door. Getting your keys out the bag would've made you piss yourself from frustration. Your legs were tightly crossed and your fist was hurting from banging so hard. The door swung open showing a tired and very pissed off Satoru. Instead of stopping your fist it hit Satoru on the head and when you realised the door was open you pushed past him and ran to the closest bathroom.

"What the fuck Y/n? What happened to calling me or having a key?" He yelled rubbing his sore head. "Sorry I really needed to pee."

OOO

05:27am

You laid in bed after having a shower and the tiredness started to hit like a train so bad you couldn't even bother to turn the lights off and just fell asleep in an awkward position.

[bugismymiddlename]

Do you ever suffer mileven doubt?

Not in the sense of their love not being true. Because I absolutely 100% believe they're both madly in love with each other. (And leaks/actors have spoke so highly of them) but in the sense that El will have to be separated from mike indefinitely in the epilouge for whatever reason like safety. It worries me a little. I don't believe she'll die but I am definitely nervous. I don't think i can handle mileven getting their happy ending for it to be ripped away :( the duffers love to trick us man

Haha, sorry about that. I would've seen it earlier if I wasn't so busy today. Been a little nauseous from swimming but I hope my answer doesn't sound disoriented because of that. But I believe that in certain episodes, Mike and Eleven would be seperated. In other episodes, they won't be. Due to the teaser, certain scene leaks, and words the actors, I believe that Mike and Eleven would get their happy ending.

I like to call myself a "Mileven Lawyer" (egotistical, I know) but since there's a "Byler" lawyer, I'm gonna be a lawyer too....just..without a license. And even as that, I get Mileven doubt ALL. THE. TIME. But I still keep my head up high because I know for a fact that with all of the evidence that I collect, all of the theories that I've received, all of the messages I've been sent of proof and all of the logical reasoning I've gathered and provided, I know for a fact that there is a high, VERY high probability that Mike and Eleven will get their happy ending with some hardships in the long run. The Stranger Things leak of Mileven from January of 2024 had been collected and tested by fans that used A.I or film professional to determine what Mike had been stating to Eleven. The results were analyized by the creators themselves and found the results to be generally accurate. In the clip, Mike was talking to Eleven on the rooftop about "Happy ever afters", how he and she want their future to be when their adventures with the Upside Down is all figured out and closed.

Think about Eleven's element in the show - Eleven is the "hope" within the show. Without her, her death would cause misery to almost the entire collection of characters. Even the characters that haven't been seen or related the most with Eleven would be impacted by her permanent absence. She's been with these people for so long, it wouldn't feel the same anymore without her and would take years to move on for a lot of them. Knowing this, this could be a GIANT mistake on the Duffers' part for killing off a character that was so pivotal to this element. That would also mean that everything Mike has ever done for her was not enough to keep her from feeling like she was useless and unloved, Hopper's paternal and fatherly love was not enough to keep Eleven from feeling unloved, Max's platonic empowerment and love not enough, the Party's appreciation and love was not enough. If that was the case, she would've been LONG gone in season 4. Meaning Eleven's chances at dying are prominantly low.

In a photo from the set and the story of Stranger Things, we see Mike, Lucas, and Nancy with Eleven in some sort of which seems to be a part of a Military base, and we found Eleven in a photo of where she was hiding in the Military as well. Meaning that Mike and Eleven aren't COMPLETELY seperated, they may be in some scenes, but in particular scenes, they're together and are close, especially. So that slightly supports my claim of Mike and Eleven only being sperated at the start of some episodes.

And yes, I completely agree on the Duffers wanting the bring the shock value towards their audience to have them FEEL something, but Mike and Eleven's relationship going down hill isn't the way to do it. That won't be shock value, that's only bring heartbreak and confusion to a giant percent of their audience, which believe it or not, perfer and cherish Mileven. That's not shock value, that's ruining the part of the narrative. They could do it in other ways, like how they revealed that Henry was actually Vecna in season 4. Now THAT made me feel something. Putting Mike and El's relationship in jeopardy simply isn't going to bring shock to anyone but people who knew or believe Mileven to be endgame and they'll cry about it. That type of shock isn't the same shock as something lingering in your mind because you never knew that would be the case, people suspect a break-up scene with Mike and Eleven, even die-hard Milevens.

So, do not worry until we get season 5. Sure, we may worry sometimes because the Duffers may cave-in and bust out a break-up, but still keep your head up high. Because at the end of the day, Mileven deserves what they deserve and that is a beautiful, happy ending. Thank you so much for this ask! It shows alot of about this specific side of the community and me as well. Mileven endgame>