#he would probably care so much about your health and well being deadass

[janichroma]

🎉Q/A Answers!🎉🎉

There's a lot to parse here! Warning that there are some spoilers of current content in here! So please tread carefully!

Q1.) I'm very curious about Death Wings. Do all of them exist in a similar state to Robo-Ren, where their true bodies are asleep and they pilot a mechanical suit, or is there something that differentiates them?

Ren is an exception. He's the only one who pilots a separate body. The others are in their own!

Q2.) Which Rejuv characters would be most likely to start a podcast together?

Adam and Valarie probably have a lot of deep 3 am conversations so with a little help from Saki, those two would def make a podcast. Other highlights are Saki+Erick and maybe Texen by himself because he just talks about how women are objects or something i dunno.

Q3.) Are you absolutely sure this is a good idea? Are you being held hostage?

I deadass thought i was gonna get 10-20 questions at most..... So yeah its a good idea.

Q4.) So, half servants. They’ve been so confusing to me. Until 13.5 I was just under the assumption servants were just infertile lol. So, do half servants like…. Inherit any powers or anything from their servant parent? Like, the ability to teleport and things like that.

Servants cannot reproduce when they're first created/in their generic form, but when they transform into their own person they gain a soul and they are then able to reproduce because they're just like any other person. It's just that their origins are different. Servants can still use their magic, but their children cannot. Although, I bet their children -do- inherit some traits from their Servant parent. Probably like just having above average strength/speed etc. That's not universal, though.

Q5.) How come Tesla doesn't let Amber bring us to the villa after the gym battle now?

Well... When two people love each other very much...

Q6.) Do the executives of Team Xen and most importantly Ren have the green gem somewhere on their body that marks them as members of Team Xen?

I wonder...

Q7.) I know in the past, you said that you haven't seen any correct guesses as to the identity of Madame X. Has that changed since the release of 13.5?

Pretty close, but no cigar.

Q8.) would crescent like yuri/gl

I banish you to the hungry worm dimension.

Q9.) i know that some characters, namely tesla (and maybe jolene?) call themselves "honorary" members of the elite 8. is there any specific reason for that? also can roboren run doom this is important.

There's no specific reason other than it soundin' fancy. Roboren can run tetris so maybe!

Q10.) What are the perks/ benefits of joining Team Xen? ( asking for a friend )

Amazing health care, and amazing investments in your 401k.

Q11.) I wanted to ask, which character has, for you, the most chance to surprise us in future updates? Be it badly or greatly.

i can't answer this because it gives too much implicit information!!! Sorry!!

Q12.) what pokemon teams (or just ace pokemon) would characters you don’t ever battle have? for example, volta, eizen, martin, rune, eden, etc? will we ever fight any of them?

I don't want to answer this either because we will probably have an opportunity to fight -most- of these people here, but for Rune it's already established to be Rapidash (Ace), and Eden would probably have a Blissey somewhere.

Q13.) How close of friends are Amber and Crawli? I wanted to ask since they're both Gym Leaders of Terajuma and around the same age, especially when Tesla and Amber moved to Telia after the incident.

They're not too close. They know of each other, and have spoken, but it's mostly a "friendly landlord" kind of relationship. They only talk when it's necessary... Not that Crawli is a landlord, or has any bearing on Teila.

Q14.) Hihi, what are somethings that have changed from version v12 (and also v13) that you really like/are proud of? And are there things you miss from previous versions, but you had to get rid of for any reasons? (I'm personally absolutely in love with the redone Terajuma stuff and especially Crawli, and also the redone Ryland scenes but that's because I'm biased.)

Terajuma 100%. I LOVE Terajuma now. I used to really despise it, evidently. But I think it's so fun and has a lot of nice moments. Valor Mountain still sucks, though. I have a huge urge to simplify that place, but then i'd have to redo a certain scene later and i dont wanna bc it's already perfect. Suffering from success... As for things I miss from previous versions... I can't think of any right now because I love where we're at rn so I guess I don't miss anything? There are certain scenes like Melia with her long hair flowing, but outside of small instances like that, nah!

Q15.) If in the nightmare school "Jean" was able to manifest flora's explosives from the dreams of GDC's citizens... Where could he have manifested A Gun from??

Probably the police station, tbh.

Q16.) What's your personal favorite part of the game thus far?

Honestly Chapter 2 -> to the end of Terajuma is so much fun to me. Not that the other chapters aren't, but that part is comfy. I also love Renegade Route chapter 0.

Q17.) Now if I'm remembering correctly, you mentioned that Venam was supposed to be just a side character at first. What made you decide to change her role into such a major one? Also how did the Melia/Venam come about?

Yeah so, Beth was actually in Venam's spot if you can believe that. Yes, the same one that sells Moo-Moo Milk. We already had a prominent blonde character and Beth wasn't boring or anything, she just didn't add a fun dynamic with Melia. Although back then the formula was more rebornified. Meaning characters rarely traveled together and they kind of just showed up when they needed to. Now characters are constantly always traveling with you and stuff. Not that the old format is bad, it's just a different take. I brought Venam back because she's Melia's best friend and it felt real weird that she was not involved -at all- compared to her and Ren. Their relationship came about because.. Well, I kinda just knew. Venam was always a lesbian in my head, and Melia is def the character that would love anyone if they gave her the chance to love them. It just felt right?

Q18.) 1) When was Eizen conceptualized? 2) What is one funny story about developing v13.5 that you can share? 3) Were there any pieces of media you took inspiration from while writing Renegade(mainly Central Tower)? 4) Do you have any plans of making more games after Rejuv?

Yall are cheating with the multiple parts!! Anyway, Eizen was conceptualized sometime in v13's development, but he... she.. they... were just a concept at the point. (stick a pin in that) 2.) A funny story? Hm... I honestly can't remember anything rn. Probably just some bug that caused us pain and it was super simple to fix. 3.) To be honest, I didn't take any real inspiration for Renegade. I actually went into doing that route without knowing exactly what I wanted from it. But the pieces sorta fell into place and im in love with it lol. M2 was always going to be a character in the game, it's just that she was never named M2 and was more tragic than unhinged. M2's personality was altered slightly because I wanted Renegade to have SOME sort of a balance, and a partner in crime (sorta) felt appropo. 4.) Yes, I have original games in the works AND plans for at LEAST 1 more fangame after this. I'd like to start from scratch with all the knowledge I have now. Though, it wouldnt be nowhere near as long as Rejuv. I'm talking like 4-5 releases. lol.

Q19.) Wanted to ask how renegade!MC perceives Clear/Kieran, the 3 choices we have to respond to Clear asking us to go see Clear all seemed cold towards her. I guess they aren't a potential new friend group?

They are a means to an end. The MC is not close with Clear or Kieran at all. They barely even talk outside of the instances we've already seen. Maybe that'll change?

Q20.) This has been a matter of contention between some friends of mine and I. How old is Odessa? I'd assumed she was below 18 as she's not taken the throne so she might not be an adult and her dad's in charge until that happens, but they think she's an adult. For something less serious, who in Rejuv's most likely to start a ponzi scheme, and who's most likely to buy in.

Odessa is likely to be around 25-ish. She's a legal adult, and is in line to be Queen of Kristiline, but their family line already holds so little influence and power that Aquis just makes her a figurehead and manages things on his own. Kind of a Cinderella of situation? More similar but not 1:1. To be honest? I figure Aquis hopes Kailani to return one day and assume her duties because he likes her more (Even if he abused her the same way he did Odessa.) As for the ponzi scheme... I feel like Thomas Jr would make one and Texen would fall for it.

Q21.) Who is the hardest character to write consistently?

Honestly? Melia. She's given me the most trouble despite her being so prominent. Im good at it now I think, but before I never knew how to write her because anything I did came with criticism lol, and still does, but now I don't really give a shit. Amber's a close second.

Q22.) When Crescent fell down the cliff, did she get the interceptor contract then was asked to become a storm chaser? The events seemed to have happened close to each other. Curious since the hags serve Variya, so only 1 of the 2 parties could've asked her both, but that wasn't the case.

Yes it was shortly after she fell. To be clear, the sparkle the protags saw was the sparkling of water from the moonlight above. So they knew it was "safe" to push Crescent. She could have died but she had a chance to survive a situation where the alternative meant certain death.

Q23.) Will the Elite 8 even be able to be battled on Renegade? I imagine Karrina would replace Karen if Karen dies on Paragon, and Karrina doesn’t get pushed, but she eats the Deletos on Renegade if you don’t push her in Castle Zygara, and it made me wonder.

The members of the Elite 8 may be battleable, but not in an official league format. That's all I'll say on that.

Q24.) I'm still really curious about emma, things that come up in my mind a lot is the part where she looks to be used by variya to speak to melia during the part where amanda knocks her out, and during pearl route when we see the note signed by someone with the same name- emma. because of this, I've been pretty curious about this disguise thing the space hags gave melia. did they- or variya gave them orders to- pull the appearance from the deceased emma? does this mean ... they're the same person?

The name part is merely a coincidence and acts as foreshadowing. Melia reads the note and is like "Emma...?" and wonders if she would share the same fate as the ones written on the notes, and then lo and behold she has the same condition.

Q25.) This question is regarding Renegade route: Do the 6 years that M2 and our chosen host were lost in that alternate world match up with a version release that is outdated, or is an in-universe timer that we shouldn't overthink that much?

Honestly, that wasnt the reason for 6 years but now I wish it was that's rad as hell. But no the 6 years isn't even 6 years. It's an unspecified amount of time that passes that she perceives as 6. They both couldve been down there for a million years and they wouldnt know. The area they're in is similar to the chasm where it wears down your mind after long exposure. Maybe that's how Melia could take such a bad turn in life. The protags are always optimistic to escape though so they are able to hold onto their mind.

Q26.) #1 spector fan here asking questions about him since he probably won't get much spotlight outside of one quest... what was his life like before taking on the reserve leader role (other than what we already know, like where he lived,) and what are his interests outside of the paranormal, if any? thanks for the opportunity! love this game a lot :^)

Spector is a history buff and loves to do Goth Gf things like take strolls in graveyards at 3 am 🥰🥰. Probably spent most of his time in the District of Hope. He also likes exploring ruins and abandoned buildings. Not limited to Aevium tbh.

Q27.) I know Eizen seems to be a strictly side quest character, but have K/C or the hags ever tried contacting him for recruitment? His research seems too valuable to go unused for them.

Eizen has absolutely no interest in either of those groups. If they even tried to do anything he'd noclip out of the room and fall out of bounds and then die half life 1 style.

Q28.) :3c what are some characters that are trans if i may ask?

Ryland - FTM Party Girl - MTF Alain - NB Aero - NB V - Genderfluid Eden - Genderfluid

Q29.) would angie still possess alice in renegade? :0 super curious about it hihihi

Whatever happened passively in Paragon (Meaning Cera being abandoned, Alice getting possessed), STILL HAPPENS IN RENEGADE, we just don't see it because the trail of events that led to us seeing them in Paragon do not happen. So... in Renegade, that means Alice is still...

Q30.) How did the aftermath scene from defeating the hags on renegade come to be? I'm very curious

i assume you mean the Tera Raid parody? Well, it came up on my playlist on the train and I was feeling chaotic. what if in rejuv but deadly ?

Q31.) who's the shortest character (excluding the younger kids >>)

Probably either Cera, tbh. She's a short lil one. I don't have canon heights for characters outside like an estimation. But in my head Cera tiny.

Q32.) Hello! I would like to ask, Did the interceptor, before the SS Oceana be attacked, have fake memories of a life alongside Nancy? Since Crescent wanted the MC to have a normal life, I always wondered If she created new memories to make this easier And if I can ask another question. What is/was the criteria to someone see the MC appearance correctly? Huey and Lavender saw two different ones, while Aelita saw the correct one(in my case she saw Alain when asked)

Crescent did not create memories for the player. They just started acting weirdly and stopped talking to her. They then started to behave the same way you, the player, does. Believing that what is happening is real and has always been real (Because this is all the information you have right now), so Crescent takes this opportunity to try and let go by giving you a better (but fake!) life. It's why she sorta distances herself a bit (but not too much) so that you could integrate yourself into that delusion. We love being neuro <3.

The criteria is pretty ambiguous intentionally, but for me it has to do with personality and connection. Aelita always sees who you truly are because shes so close with the player + she has envoy shenanigans going on. If you would get along with Alain the most, the player would show themselves as alain etc.

Q33.) Any disclosable reasons why the rift dex now only has 2 remaining entries instead of 3 like in v13?

It's probably just a discrepancy that happened due to shifting over code bases. The number of slots left is not indicative of anything.

Q34.) hello jan!! hope you’re doing well :D is there any more information or random various facts about the androids (clear/kieran/eden) that can be said that ISN’T spoilers? it’s ok if not! i’ve just been curious about them all lately, especially in regards to how eden’s powers with emotional manipulation work.

Nothing too interesting about Clear or Kieran that isn't spoilers and isnt known already, but as for Eden... Eden was eccentric and had a personality thats real close to prince peasley from superstar saga LOL. I feel like Eden would have a catch phrase like "Mon Cherie", and flip their iridiscent hair in mockery. Eden's manipulation was very devastating. You would feel an immeasurable amount of joy when inflicted that you would give over any information because youre... happy to! But it was also very deadly. If exposed to it for too long you become way too happy to the point where you lose the ability to function normally. You'd fall into a happy-apathetic state and collapse and just lay where you fell until you starved or died in some other way. Because you're happy to! Everything in moderation, guys.

Q35.) Hi jan!!! quick question — why do you hate me why did the renegade route do that /real/ question though…. My buddy found some like… older stuff about Eizen in v13’s files. Something about a girl named Ærika?? (Idk if thats even connected but whatever) How did Eizen come to be? What was the process?

Hi remember the pin I stuck earlier? Ok we're unpinning that now. So, Eizen was originally a woman (So happy for his transition), And her name was Ærika. But we already had so many girls in the game and I wanted to create more male characters so then Eizen was born. I'm glad for it too because Eizen is way more interesting than Ærika. Eizen/Ærika came to be when [redacted]. I can't explain his origins quite yet, sorry! But one day you Will Realize.

Q36.) Hi Jan, thanks for the amazing game! In Alamissa, before we get yeeted into the past by Kieran, when Ren gives us sylveon and, um, Nancy’s remains, he mentions that he has stayed (even after breaking off with crescent) with xen for an important reason… but won’t specify. Later, he says the reason is because he wants to help nastasia. But the alamissa convo happened before ren met Anastasia (baby version). Did ren want to help nastasia before he met her past version and learned that she was…

Ren didn't know who she was at that point, but Ren has seen Nastasia in vulnerable points (that we havent seen... yet?). She has discussed with him that shes looking for someone prior to Alamissa, but she was very vague about it, and still is, but she's opened up a lot to Ren over time.

Q37.) This is probably a weirder question but will all of the main leaders, even the ones we battle outside of their gym duties have custom moves? If not, would it be safe to assume the main leaders use the moves of their reserves?

All leaders have custom moves. Reserves use the move the main leader does! They have TM's for these, but they aren't allowed to give them out to winners. At least, at the moment!

Q38.) what was your favorite part of 13.5's development?

Making Renegade Route lmfao. It was so much funnnnnnn. I cant wait for the rest.

Q39.) what’s the EoN experience like for someone going through it? If that’s too spoilery, what was the most surprising part of people’s reactions to .karma content?

You're getting scrubbed. It looks painful, but it's painless... and seamless! You literally cannot process what is going on. As for most surprising, I was surprised people loved M2 so much. I mean, I had a feeling people would like her, but she really took off and that makes me happy bc shes so fun to write.

Q40.) Hi Jan! My question is this: Will Melia and Venam get back together somewhat in the future? Or will they just stay friends? (Paragon route)

Who knows...

----------------------------------------------------------------

An extra question im throwing in here because ive seen a lot of talk around this character.

Q1X.) What inspired M2? M2 was conceptualized to be more of a tragic character, but I felt like Renegade needed some balancing out mood wise, or else it was too much of a drag. M2 was inspired by an insecurity of mine, actually, or I guess less so an insecurity and more of a question a lot of us ask ourselves. What if? What if I did this differently? What if I was born elsewhere? How different would I be? When Covid first started running about and I thought the fate of our lives was about to be cut short potentially, I started thinking about how I lived my life and how much I missed out on certain things. M2 is that. She gets a second chance at life and decides she wants to be everything but Melia because she's already lived that life and it turned out poorly. Hence the name M2. The second version of herself.

A song that inspired me is Immaterial by Sophie (Rest in peace)

2:03 is important

Now that I have a second chance at life, "I'll be anyone, anything, any shape." I mentioned before that your archetype powers manifests as your deep inner desire, and since M2 wants to be everything she couldn't be, it turns into her creating alternative selves through clones made of light. Another point of inspiration for her forms is actually Barbie of all things. Not the movie, although the movie takes advantage of the same principle, that Barbie can be anything. A doctor, a lawyer, life guard, a government official etc. M2 is everything always and forever, and she's also nothing at all. Which one is the real M2?

[jalapeno-princess]

I’ll take care of you

Mark Tuan X Reader

Genre: Fluff and mentions of sex

Word count: 1.8k

Summary: Your boyfriend Mark is a nursing student and although he is constantly the one taking care of you, sometimes he needs someone to take care of him too.

A/N: This is a repost because the stupid tags weren’t working. Honestly this is trash but the idea of Mark being a nurse makes my heart (and vagina) beat deadass. Whenever I see all the nurse students at my school it makes me want to switch my major in to nursing because of how intelligent and professional they look (but we all know my dumb ass wouldn’t be able to handle that shit) so if you’re in nursing I give you major props. There are only a few male students in nursing at my school and it made me daydream about Mark as a nurse so here we go.

“Babe have you seen my-“

“On the top shelf in the bathroom.”

“Okay but what about my-“

“In the drawer, underneath your sweatpants.”

“Shit, I can’t find my-“

“On the desk near my laptop.”

After gathering his things he ran over to you and placed a sloppy kiss on your lips. “Thank you baby. You’re amazing you know that?” You snickered. “I’ve told you multiple times to prepare your things the night before so that you’re not rushing in the morning.” He placed his hands on your cheeks and gently caressed your face. “Now you and I both know why I never prepare things the night before. I’m too busy with my head between those beautiful thighs…OW.” You playfully shoved him off of you and walked over to the kitchen.

“What time will you be home tonight?” He started putting on his shoes as you handed him his lunch. “Well after school, I have to go to the hospital for a couple of hours. So maybe 8 at the latest? You have class at 10 right?” You nodded. He pulled you in to his arms and placed gentle kisses along your jaw. “I love you so much. I don’t think I thank you enough for all that you do for me.” You snickered while brushing some hair out of his eyes.

“Don’t worry, you do. In more ways than one. You better get going before I bring you back in to the room and continue what we started last night.” He bit his lip and attempted to pull you back in for a kiss but you pushed him away, earning yourself an adorable pout from your boyfriend. “Baaaaabeeee, come on. One more kiss for your favorite med student. I already know that I’m gonna have a shitty day. Your love and affection is what keeps me going.” You let out a long sigh before placing your lips against his. “Now go. I don’t want you being late because you couldn’t keep it in your pants. I’ll see you later. Have a nice day. I love you.” He playfully squeezed your butt and ran out the door before you could retaliate.

There were many perks that came with dating a med student. Your boyfriend was very overprotective over you. Especially since you were very clumsy and found yourself getting hurt at least three times a week. But he was always so quick to want to patch you up. One night, you accidentally cut your finger while preparing dinner for the two of you and Mark immediately brought you to the bathroom. He sat you on the sink and rubbed alcohol on your wound. “My clumsy girl. We run out of bandaids very quickly because of you.” He chuckled while placing a chaste kiss on your lips. When you caught the flu a few months ago, he never left your side. He made sure to pick up all the antibiotics you needed and he bought you the food your doctor had recommended that you eat.

Sometimes, you would forget to bring pain killers for when you’d get headaches at school. However, Mark would always have a bottle with him. So whenever you’d ask him for ibuprofen, no matter where you were on campus, he’d drop whatever he was doing and made his way to you. The thought of how much he loved and cared for you set fire to your bones. Mark was very patient and nurturing. He knows how much you hate getting your period. So when it was that time of the month, Mark would always do what he could to lessen the pain. Plus, he was ten times more cuddly while you were menstruating. The only problem you had with dating a nurse, was how he would prevent you from doing certain things because he considered it “bad for your health”.

When Mother Nature decides it was time to give you your gift, you would buy some ice cream and chocolate to treat yourself during that frustrating week. However, Mark would constantly nag you about how sugar would only make your cramps worse and slow down your metabolism. But your boyfriend knew not to mess with you when it came down to your sweets, so he stopped hounding you about it. Sometimes, you would get frustrated with his smart talk because you had no clue what he was saying, but then you’d find it sexy because of how intelligent he sounded.

Dating Mark was an actual dream. You’ve known each other since kindergarten, when he gave you his chocolate chip cookie after he found you crying because you dropped yours in the sandbox. From then on, the two of you were inseparable and it was only a matter of time that you both ended up together. You had developed feelings for Mark in the 8th grade when you realized how he took such great care of you and how he was willing to do any and everything for you. However, you didn’t think he felt the same.  He never showed much interest in you and whenever his friends would bring you up, he’d tell them that the both of you were just friends.

But you couldn’t have been more wrong. The boy was madly in love with you, but too afraid to confess his feelings for you in case you didn’t see him that way. He didn’t want to lose you. It wasn’t until he heard his friend Bambam talking to their other friend Yugyeom about confessing his feelings for you that he found the confidence to go up and tell you how he felt. “Don’t date Bambam.” You looked at him in confusion, but before you could ask him what he meant by that, his lips were on yours. Even if the two of you have been dating for over 5 years, it was as if you both were still in the honeymoon phase. He loved you with his entire being and you felt the same way about him. The two of you were attached by the hip. Wherever you went, he followed and vice versa. Mark has never told you this in fear of seeming too cheesy, but he knew the two of you were soulmates. His heart yearned for you and he knew you felt the same way.

From a very young age, Mark knew he wanted to be something that would help others. Therefore, you weren’t surprised to hear that he was planning on going in to nursing. Neither was he surprised when you decided to go in to teaching, knowing how much you love working with kids. As much as education was a difficult major, you knew your boyfriend had it worse. There were nights where he would cry because of how frustrated he was with all his homework and how mean some doctors were to him during clinicals. He found himself wanting to give up multiple times, but you never let him. You knew how badly he wanted to become a nurse and how hard he worked in order to get accepted in to nursing school. Each night he came home after school, you tried your best to take care of him and keep his mind off of how hard it was. Even if that mean bringing him to his release without filling yours. But you didn’t care, he was always very generous to you during sex when he was having better days.

This entire week for him was rough. People were getting kicked out of the program if the professors didn’t feel that they were good enough and this caused Mark to go in to a frenzy. He worked so hard to get to this point and he was afraid it was all going to go to waste if his professors decided they were going to cut him from the program. You were sitting in the library when your phone started going off.

My Love😍🥰♥️: Baby, where are you?

My Love😍🥰♥️: I need you☹️

My Love😍🥰♥️: Will you hold me please? I’m about to cry right now.

His texts made your heart sink and you wondered what had happened. What could be so bad that he was on the verge of tears? When he found you, he immediately ran in to your arms and started sobbing. You tried your best in consoling him while running your fingers through his hair. “We had..clinicals today and..one of the doctors said..fuck..” you held him tighter and waited for him to calm down before telling you the rest of the story. After a few minutes, the crying slowly stopped and he placed his face in your chest. “One of the doctors mentioned that maybe I’m in the wrong field and that nursing might not be for me. I don’t even see what I did wrong. I did everything he told me to do. My grades are some of the highest in the class. I always go to every single clinical and I attend every single lecture y/n. Hell, I even volunteer at other hospitals on top of the internship so what am I doing wrong?”

You placed a soft kiss against his cheek and sighed. “You’re not doing anything wrong baby. You’re doing the best you can. That doctor is an ass and he probably is jealous that you’re so young, smart and not to mention extremely good looking whereas he’s probably old, wrinkly and on the verge of retirement. Don’t let people like that get to you babe. Somebody was probably just as hard on him when he was going through school as he is being with you. I’m sure he sees something in you that he doesn’t see in the other students and by telling you that, it’ll make you want to work harder. He wouldn’t be wasting his time scolding you if he didn’t think you were serious about becoming a nurse. So don’t beat yourself up about it okay? You said so yourself, you have some of the best grades in your class and I remember you telling me how your professor even wrote a letter of recommendation for you. So hang in there bub. By the time you graduate and become a certified nurse, all the late nights and the constant tears will be worth it.”

He looked up at you with a sad smile and slowly brought his lips to yours. “I love you so much y/n. I don’t know what I would do without you. You mean everything to me. Thank you baby. I feel a whole lot better now.” He released an exasperated sigh and ran his fingers through your hair. “I have one more class, did you wanna wait for me and maybe get dinner afterwards? If not, I can meet you back at home.” You shook your head. “I can wait for you. Matter a fact, I’ll go get us some coffee. Now go. Text me if you need to okay?” He placed a few more kisses on your lips before leaving. Before you could finish packing up your things, you heard his sneakers screeching across the floor. “Forgot my stethoscope. See you in an hour baby! I love you!”

[gay-dorito-dust]

Hello, I really love your tlovm works. They are great! Thank you 💖 Also, may I request a headcanon on Percy as a brother figure? Like brotherly relationship with him and the gn!reader? I hope you will understand what I mean 👉👈😳. Feel free to scrap my request if you want to do so. Wish you a good day 🌻

Losing his family and home was the worst pain Percy has ever experienced. A pain so excruciating that he believed his soul would never know peace until those who wronged him were dead by his hand in an act of long awaited vengeance. This was a dream even Percy himself thought was a delusional revenge fantasy that would never come to fruition. So naturally he became aloof, secretive, guarded and secluded as a result of his traumatic past that haunted his nights; reopening the wound that never truly healed.

So when you entered the picture Percy was naturally an overbearing and over protective brother figure who would loose his shit over a small scratch. This is an over exaggeration but I wouldn’t be surprised if you came back from a mission go awry looking like a bloodied mess Percy would become a full fledged mother hen nursing you back to health when Pike is RIGHT THERE-

Firmly believes that Cassandra would love you considering how you both like to get on his nerves for the sake of entertainment and on the behalf of your boredom and inability to pay attention to anything of slight importance/ interest. Though he’d dread the day where you two would meet because then he would have two chaotic miscreants tugging at his coat when he worked and the incisive “what’cha doing?” And the “what’s this thing do?” That he swears he’d loose all the intellect he had because of you and Cassandra but he loves you just as much as his sister and he wouldn’t be putting up with your mannerisms if he didn’t.

Due to his intellect Percy would bestow upon you his wisdom, mainly because he doesn’t want to be the only member of vox machina who has the brain cells. It was hard enough when he had told Vax and Scanlan the importance of having an image and how one presents themselves in the opposite of one’s true self that only ended badly. So he would be delighted when you’d shit talk everyone within the confines of your rooms over a couple of drinks and a home cooked meal.

Whenever you was too preoccupied with doing your own thing Percy would make it apparent that you needed to eat, hydrate and take care of yourself which was kinda hypocritical because you would say the exact same to him whenever he was busy with his project in his workshop doing the exact same thing which was a point of lighthearted teasing for you. Not to say he wouldn’t do the exact same because he would but in a more subtle expression.

Vox machina would have defiantly teased Percy for being like an older brother to you but he wears that shit with pride no matter how sour his face became with every passing mention. He just doesn’t want to loose you like he did his family, he doesn’t think he could bear the weight of another loss that he could’ve prevented.

Say your badly injured by some bandits whilst exploring the town one day you can beat your ass that Percy would hunt the fuckers down and give them a reason to cry for mercy but No Mercy Percy was his title for a reason. He hates being useless and would probably prevent you from joining them on missions out of fear.

He’d train you in combat so you’d be prepared for anything and everything if a situation would arise that your weapon is discarded mid fight. Again this is out of protectiveness and a genuine concern for your well-being when he can’t be there to have your back without coming off as overbearing.

He talks about you more then he’d like to admit. He would see something in a shop window and make a passing comment of how’d you like it. It was sweet to say the least but you would act like an embarrassed sibling who was being doted on in front of their friends.

I deadass think you, Percy, Vex and Vax would have a ‘who knows their sibling better’ game nights which always has you and Percy in the less somehow whilst Vex and Vax were at one another’s throats because they got each other’s favourite food wrong. It was entertaining until dagger and now and arrow were drawn that you had to pull the half elves away from one another. You with Vax and him with Vex before retiring to your rooms for the night.

Whilst you have your fights like all siblings do at the end of the day you knew you loved each other and would defend the other like your lives depended with undying loyalty but talk shit about one another with low blows here and there when tensions are running high within Vox Machina. That didn’t deter you from saving each other from yourselves on dark days. Percy couldn’t ask for a better sibling figure and you couldn’t have asked for a better big brother figure.

[i-may-be-stupit]

Idk the horney got me, so here we are HAHAHAHA 18+ and kinda a bit of crack at times, ENJOY!!!!! Oh! And this is reletively gender neutral, babes!!

Your name is (Y/N) (L/N). And you've always been known as a good kid. That is until your father was murdered by a hero. He did a lot of dirty work, sure, but he did it for his family to survive. And when a hero took him down, everyone cheered. They never though about his family. Nor his place in the world. They saw him as dirt. The same way you started seeing heros.

To you, heros didn't care about the villians and didn't care whether they died or lived. They were savage beasts who needed to be taken down. You became a villian. You would assassinate hero after hero with the simple tittle of "Marrow." And that's when you met the League.

They had the same ideals as you and could help make your dream a reality.

You joined the League, but you were still you. You were a seemingly innocent flower that blossomed in any form of villainous mayhem.

Your quirk was known as simply bone manipulation. You could manipulate your bones however you pleased and you could even shoot them out like needles. But, you were at higher risk for osteoporosis.

Its been 6 months since then and you've made yourself at home with the LOV. Twice and Toga were your closest friends now, but Shigaraki just hits different.

You'd go out and have fun with your two close friends, and to be honest, you're pretty sure that you three had pulled every prank possible on Dabi. Kurogiri was like a dad to you now. He gave lots of great advice and made sure that you kept up with your online college classes in between villian duties.

But shigaraki was a whole other story.

I mean, he was usually crule and hateful towards everyone, but the League was his soft spot. He treats members like family. He cherishes them. Even if he doesn't say it. He almost always have been putting them first.

And it made you kind of...attracted to him.

Yeah, he was dryer than the Saharan Desert, and had a diet of strictly microwavable ramen and redbull, but he was actually a good guy. You caught yourself staring at him a few times per day and your crush on him was appearant to you as well as all the other members.

So here you were, staring in awe at Tomura as he and Dabi played against eachother in Mortal Kombat. (They'd fight at least once a day, so Kurogiri made up the idea of fighting in Mortal combat instead whenever they got fed up with eachother) You blushed, seeing Shigaraki so serious. Ugh, there's just something about him...

Toga walked into the room and sat down in the loveseat next to you. She smirked before loudly announcing, "Gee, (Y/N)! It looks like your boyfriend, Tomura, is winning!" You started choking her.

No, deadass.

You fucking wrapped your hands around her neck and violently shook her head back and forth like Bart and Homer Simpson. Toga just laughed and moaned, causing you to feel too violated to keep choking her. You let go and as you did, Shigaraki stood up and started making fun of Dabi for being a "Bitch ass loser."

You blushed deeply, eyes lidded while gazing at the crusty boy. All you could see was Shigaraki, hearts around him as he did his breathtaking victory dance in slow motion. His gorgeous, dehydrated body swayed and jiggled happily as he jumped a few times, white specs gently fluttered from his head. His dandruff glistening in the florescent lights, as you sighed, absolutely smitten. Dabi rolled his eyes at his boss before looking at you. He then smirked. This cant be good.

Dabi chuckled. "Oh okay, Shiggy, you beat me fair and square." Shigaraki looked at him suspiciously. "It's okay though." He smirked, "Because I'm sure that (Y/N) can give me a little pick-me-up!"

The white haired boy glarred at Dabi then at you. Dabi slyly slipped over to you and Toga. He grabbed you be your wrist and pulled you up to stand. You were too flustered out of your mind to even do anything. He wrapped both of his hands around your waist. "Isn't that right, baby?"

You laughed awkwardly, "Dabi, not to be rude or anything, but you seem like a heavy man and I don't know if I could manage carrying all of your body weight if I were to pick you up, I mean my bones are kinda brittle as they are and-"

He brought his face to yours and kissed your neck softly. "We're gonna have some fun tonight, right?" You fucking hit him with a suplex, a small crack being heard from your hip. God damn it, your fucking brittle ass bones! Everyone burst out in laughter (aside from Kurogiri who was facepalming). Dabi sat on the floor rubbing his head in pain. "Fuck, (Y/N)! It was a joke!"

You folded your arms and frowned. "Well don't joke around with me like that!" Heat rose to your cheeks, "Especially in front of T-Tomura..." You looked at your boss to see him still too busy laughing at Dabi getting backflipped. You smiled shyly, holding your cheeks and wiggling like the love sick shit you are. He's so dreamy~ oh my, is he coughing up blood from laughing too hard?

You looked in disgust for a moment before sighing loudly. Ugh, it's so sexy when he coughs up blood! Shigaraki looked at his hand before licking the blood back into his mouth like a fucking heathen-

Sorry.

Your fucking heathen.

Later that night, everyone was out and about, leaving you and Shigaraki alone. He was drinking a glass of rum and coke as you doodled in a little notebook. You looked up to see him staring at you already. You both quickly looked away. It's been rough lately, dealing with your crush on him.

And Tomura was catching on.

Well, kinda.

He thinks he's really ugly and unworthy of love, so he thinks you just stare at him because you're still taken back at how hideous (he believes) he is. He's been wearing Father on his face more often and been getting more easily upset at you. But, he was also confused because he was starting to like your fragile self.

He's scared that he'll break you with one tap of the finger. That's just how fragile you seem. Shigaraki smiled softly, staring deeply into his glass.

(Y/N) seems so fragile, but they're a god damn hurricane.

Shigaraki swirled his cup around, deep in thought. How can they fight so well when they seem so brittle? It's strange. It's unexpected... It's interesting. Your boss' cheeks turned a tint of pink. (Y/N) can pull off a suplex on Dabi. Their back bent so far... I wonder what (Y/N) looks like arching it for me... He looked over at your figure. You were awkwardly dangling your feet off the couch, seeming to be lost in thought. Tomura sighed and took another whisk of his drink. They're way too cute for me...

There's been a lot of awkward times with you two alone. And you could both feel the tension. Shigaraki left to his room with a small sigh. He hates basically everything. But you? He might just love you.

You two hung out a lot actually. You'd play videogames together and have small movie nights for the two of you. You vividly remembered cuddling up beside him one winter night. It was snowing and you two chatted while sitting on the floor making Smores in the fireplace.

But it got harder and harder to be around eachother when you both started liking eachother. It got...awkward. And the night that Tomura asked you if you wanted to watch a horror movie with you and got a concerned face from you was the night his heart broke. You just didn't want to accidentally grab him at a jumpscare and have him laugh at you for being a pussy. But he thought that you just didnt trust him.

You sighed, thinking about that shitty night, and walked to Shigaraki's room. You had to tell him about your feelings. You knocked softly and was allowed to enter. Shigaraki was sitting in bed, wide awake, just sitting there, staring at the wall in front of him in thought.

You sat awkwardly on his bed in a tense silence for a good minute as the man just stared awkwardly at you through the hand on his face. Shigaraki sighed when he noticed you werent going to say anything, and he set Father down on his nightstand.

"(Y/N), I feel uncomfortable with you staring at me all the time." Heat rushed to your cheeks and you stared harder at the  ground. "I get that I'm ugly, but you should know how rude it is to stare-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" You glarred at him, anger boiling up. "The fuck did you just call yourself?!"

He glarred right back at you. "I said I was ugly, did I stutter?"

Yeah. Youre choosing to ignore that attitude. "Tomura, you're not ugly."

He rolled his eyes. "There is literally no other reason for you to be staring at me that much, mutt."

You folded your arms with a frown. "I think you're handsome."

He laughed.

He laughed hard as hell.

For a good 3 minutes straight.

"Oh thats a good one, (Y/N)! You know, I'm actually enjoying you-"

"I'm serious!" You poked his chest hard while getting closer to his face, your eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. "I think you have pretty eyes!" You poked him again, "You have a pretty face!" You poked him one last time, "And you're an amazing leader!" Shigaraki went silent with a blush and so did you. You twittled your fingers together, looking away timidly. "I-uh... I think I l-like you, actually."

Tomura chuckled breathlessly with concern for your mental health, eyes darting around uncomfortably. "Are you being...serious...?"

"Mm-hm..."

"Oh....okay." He awkwardly looked away from you with a small blush. Hes never had anyone like him romantically. Actually, not a lot of people even like him generally. And it made it extra weird with you being so damn cute and funny to him. 

You layed down on his bed, anxiety rushing through you. It was weird to tell your boss that you liked him. I mean, its probably gonna be awkward between you two forever! Tomura layed down next to you. His hands overlapping eachother on his chest. You looked over to him with a small awkward smile. "So-uh... do you like me back...?"

Tomura frowned. "Are you fucking dumb??" You winced and he just rolled his eyes. "It would be impossible to not fall in love with you." A small chuckle left your lips as he softly started playing in your (h/t) hair.

You frowned. "Did I say you could touch my hair?"

He rolled his eyes before lifting you up to straddle him. Heat rushed to your cheeks. And you pushed his chest away as your (e/c) eyes darted away. "T-Tomura, what are y-you doing?" You were speechless and flustered. And it wasn't helping that his hands were laying on your waist (pinkies up of course).

Tomura chuckled with a mischevious look in his eyes. He slowly moved his hands up and down your sides. "Let me play with your hair...and as a reward..." He kissed you softly on your lips. "I'll make you feel things you've never felt before...." He licked your ear and you thanked the Lord for that because it just made his mouth a lil less crusty. "Deal?" His breath tickled your ears and your breathing turned into aroused, airy breaths.

"Deal..." Shigaraki smirked before kissing you roughly, his hand engulfed in your (h/t) hair, leaving his middle finger up of course. As his tongue darted around your mouth, he pulled your hair harder, causing a wince of pain from you. His lips left yours quickly.

"Am I being too rough?"

You smiled softly at him. He cares! "Oh, just a little."

Shigaraki grinned before pulling your hair even harder. "You'll get used to that." Your eyes widened in fear and pain as he threw you onto the bed roughly. He kissed you harder, and forced your thighs open with both of his hands, pinkies up.

He laughed with arousal, pressing his clothed member against you. You sighed as he grinded against your bottoms while tongue kissing you. His hands left your thighs and brought themselves to your body. He sucked, kissed, and bit all over your neck and his indexes and thumbs twirled and pulled at your nipples under your shirt.

"Ah-!" You moaned loudly as the man sucked at your soft spot. "T-Tomura!" A small gasp left your lips and his connected to your skin. Mumbled moans came from you, your hand over your mouth. Tomura glarred the second he heard a moan muffled. "H-Hey!" He had grabbed your hand from over your mouth and tightly gripped it with four fingers, pressing it against the headboard.

He grinned widely out of nowhere, "You really thought you could get away with hiding those beautiful sounds from me?" He sat up, unbuckling his jeans. His eyes went cold as he took off his pants and boxer briefs. "I'm gonna have to get some type of...hm, whats the word?" He looked away in though before smiling and snapping his fingers, "Compensation! Yeah...and I know just what I want from you." Shigaraki push you off of the bed roughly. You fell to the floor and rubbed your arm. He sat on the king-sized in front of you with his cock in his hand. "Suck."

You frowned at him. Did he really have to push you off like that? You got on your knees between his thighs and took a good look at it.

Fuck, he's hung...

You covered your mouth with a huge blush. Where the hell did that come from?! He was a good nine inches and quite thick. You frowned at him and pointed at his cock. "The fuck am I supposed to do with this?" He frowned.

Shigaraki didnt say another word. He just grabbed you by the hair and placed it against your lips. You frowned before licking the tip softly, making him laugh breathlessly. "Fuck..." You sucked on his tip and his hand tightened around your hair, pulling a bit. He looked down at you, smirking while absolutely flustered. "Ugh, your little mouth was made for my fat cock, wasn't it, (Y/N)?" He chuckled and pressed your head forward, forcing a bit more of him inside of you. Shigaraki panted as you bobbed your head back and forth on him. "Youre such a fucking slut..." His cheeks was tinted pink as he stared down at you. Tomura started bobbing your head back and forth on him. He laughed as you gagged on him. "What? Is it too big?" Your face went even hotter. How can he be so fucking conceited yet self conscious?! The white hair boy held your face and was practically thrusting into your mouth at this point. He threw his head back and groaned as cum filled your mouth. "Fuck, (Y/N), you're good at that." He watched you like prey as you thumbed the white substance dripping down your chin. You licked your thumb and he chuckled. "How does it taste?"

You smirked at him minscheviously while getting back on the bed. You took off your bottoms and short then spread your legs. "It tastes good enough to deserve a tip, right?" Shigaraki licked his lips as he crawled in between your thighs.

He rubbed you, playing with your slit. "Did sucking me off really get you this turned on?" You flushed and covered your eyes with your forearm. Tomura smirked mischievously as he licked at you. You moaned quietly, his tongue swirling around and his finger going in and out of your hole.

He stuck his ringerfinger in and you squeaked in pleasure. "Mmm... Tomura, I-just like that..." He sucked and licked, getting more sloppy as his fingers pumped in and out of you. He pumoed faster and faster and your small groans turned into loud moaning as you orgasmed. "Fuck Tomura! Ah-!" You came in his mouth, immediately apologizing. Shigaraki just licked his now soaked fingers and you just stared at him, blushing hard as hell. You smiled softly. "H-How do I taste?"

His red eyes prowled your body as he got on top of you. Your cheeks got hotter when he strattled you. You sighed as he rubbed his manhood against you. Small, flustered moans escaped your lips at his teasing. "You taste like you were missing something." His warm breath tickled your ear, "But I'll fix that right up for you."

Tomura slowly entered you. He groaned out your name in ecstasy. You were a bit uncomfortable at first at his thickness. "W-wait, dont move yet..." You breathed in and out slowly, feeling yourself adjust to him. A groan left your lips, "O-okay..."

Tomura grinded against you, kissing your neck as your hands fiddled with his hair. He started off slow, savoring the feeling of you. He sighed into your collarbone. "God, (Y/N), you're so tight..." He cursed underneath his breath, fucking you a bit faster.

Tears pricked at your eyes. This was almost too much for you. Youve always fantasized about being with Shigaraki and now that it was happening, it felt almost too good to be true. He grinded into you deeper, filling you up fully as his hand held both of tour wrists above your head. The bed rocked as he started thrusting into you faster and deeper. "T-Tomura, you feel so good inside of me!" He groaned louder and you couldn't help but become flustered at all of his noises.

He fucked you even faster and harder. "Fuck, youre mine now, okay?" You nodded and moaned louder at him. "Oh fuck!" His white hair bounced as he pulled out and flipped you over. You were on your forearms and knees, begging for him to keep fucking you good as he thrusted in and out, his hand pulling at your hair as the other gave the occasional spank on your ass. Tomura's thrusts became sloppy as you reached your peak. You both moaned loudly, his cum pouring from inside of you. Shigaraki pulled out and immediately collapsed next to you.

You panted as his arms wrapped themselves around you. You smiled at him. "That was good, right?" He chuckled and kissed your lips.

"The best."

You two spooned as Kurogiri had an extra glass of wine, in utter disgust at when he was forced to hear.

[bandaged-writer]

hcs for ranpo, dazai, akutagawa, and kunikida having a s/o with ptsd and a service dog, please? how would they react to rude / pushy people. Would dazai and aku try to hide their dislike of dogs. (I think watching YouTube videos by people with PTSD and service dogs are good and reliable resources. I like "service dogs & ptsd!" by "it's us" as a reference if you're interested! And you can ditch the ptsd part of you're uncomfortable; they could have a service dog for another reason.) Thank you! ❤️

Here you go, nonnie! <3 I’ve written these headcanons based on research and not actual experience, but please let me know if something is inaccurate or hurts you and I’ll take action immediately. 

Warnings: PTSD

Ranpo Edogawa

➤ He’s the one who has the most fun with your dog. Always cuddles the ball of fur, plays with him and sneaks him some treats whenever you’re not looking. Of course, Ranpo knows that your service dog isn’t there for entertainment purposes and also treats him like some kind of colleague since it’s the dog’s duty to make sure you’re safe and feel at ease.

➤ “You may be good at your job, but you’ll never be as great as me!”

➤ “Ranpo, he’s a dog.”

➤ In conclusion: trusts your dog but not as much as he trusts the safe with his candy in it. After all, a dog can eat your candy while a safe won’t do such a thing.

➤ Your dog adapted to Ranpo relatively fast considering his laid back nature and the self-confidence he radiates. At first, your dog was a bit wary of Ranpo getting too close to you and might have fixed his gaze on the man, but that quickly faded away and your dog loves getting his belly rubbed by the detective. He’s just a dog, after all ok.

➤ Ranpo knows what sets you on edge, makes you anxious or causes you to have flashbacks or relive parts of the trauma you’d rather forget. He tries avoiding places that are too crowded or could have a trigger and informs you about all the meetings you couldn’t attend.

➤ If you go to therapy, Ranpo will go with you, despite his occasional whining. That man could be wrapped up in a blanket like a burrito, whine something like “But [Name], it’s so cozy in here! Just reschedule or tell your therapist to come over!” but always ends up accompanying you if you want him to. 

➤ If you don’t go to therapy, then Ranpo will accept your decision. There’s no point in forcing you to go if you don’t want to. However, he’s always there if you need to talk about what happened and tries offering you some kind of advice on how to deal with situations or certain people.

➤ If someone makes a rude remark about you or your dog, Ranpo will reply with the same energy. “Wow, I didn’t know such stupidity can legally walk around.” He doesn’t take shit from anyone, especially if you’re in a vulnerable state at that very moment.

Dazai Osamu

➤ Dazai isn’t that bewitched by your dog and doesn’t hide his dislike about your companion either, but Dazai understands that you need your dog and learns to live with it. He still teases the dog for shits n giggles whenever you’re not around, though.

➤ Chances are your dog and Dazai kicked it off on bad terms. With Dazai being super clingy, all over you and sometimes a bit hyper, your dog could’ve thought that Dazai could make you uncomfortable or even trigger you at times, but your dog quickly learns that Dazai poses no threat and is actually helping you.

➤ Takes care of your dog when you’re sick, but only does the most necessary things like taking him for a walk, getting food and water ready and the likes. Sometimes, you can hear him arguing with the dog from the bedroom:“What do you mean you don’t wanna eat your food? You ate it when [Name] made it yesteday, you can’t fool me!”

➤ As much as Dazai dislikes dogs, he’s thankful that you got your dog by your side whenever he’s out on a case or the likes. He knows the dog will protect you and make you feel much calmer.

➤ Dazai is aware that PTSD isn’t visible to the human eye like a broken leg, but the switch within him flips whenever someone is rude towards you or drops a snide remark and draws an obvious reaction from you. “You might wanna repeat what you said if you don’t want to witness the next sunrise,” Dazai would say with an empty smile that doesn’t reach his eyes at all. 

➤ Always there for you. You can call him, text him or spill your guts to him whenever you feel the need to and Dazai won’t complain one bit - even if it’s in the middle of the night. That man has also witnessed horrors early on in his life and knows how it affects one’s mental and emotional health, so he doesn’t want you to go through it alone.

➤ Holds you extra tight after a specifically bad nightmare or stays up with you and tells you about the time your dog deadass ran into the door if insomnia is kicking your ass.

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke

➤ Is also pretty open about his dislike towards dogs. No matter if that dog is merely a pet or a trained service dog - dog is dog.

➤ Akutagawa is very observant and quickly learns what your dog means by certain actions. Such as circling you is signaling others that they’re getting too close or when his snout is nudging your palm, he wants to get you out of tense situations. Maybe that dog does have the brains to take care of you.

➤ The two of them aren’t great friends. Akutagawa doesn’t like the dog and vice versa. It’s like they’re tolerating one another only because you’re always around and ready to scold both. Imagine Akutagawa being scolded by you tho-

➤ God have mercy on anyone who crosses your guys’ path and makes a rude remark. Akutagawa is very protective over you and doesn’t tolerate bullshit from anyone, but it’s even worse when such things are directed towards you who can’t really do anything about their condition. “You’re so disgusting that not even Rashoumon would want to tear you apart.”

➤ As tough as he is on the outside, Akutagawa cares a lot about you. On especially bad days, he will attempt to cook your favorite dish but ends up ordering takeout. Hands down, Aku isn’t one to cook often and when he does, it’s probably something very basic that won’t need a lot of preparation time. You do appreciate the thought and effort nevertheless.

➤ Advice or assurance from him is sometimes a bit harsh, but these are words you very likely need to hear and not want to hear. “Are you at fault that xy happened to you? No, so stop blaming yourself for it.” Akutagawa means well though, and honestly, it’s his actions that show that he doesn’t mean to be harsh towards you.

➤ It’s when he holds your hand when you’re anxious or lets you talk about your nightmares without interrupting you. It’s accepting your dog’s constant presence without kicking the poor thing out or trying to avoid possible triggers. Honestly, Aku is more of a action person than word person.

Kunikida Doppo

➤ You know those dads that say that they didn’t want a dog but end up being friends anyway? Yeah, that’s Kunikida and your dog. At first, Kunikida only sees your dog as a worker of society, but the more time he spends with your companion, the more attached he gets. Kunikida never admits it out loud though.

➤ The thing that really gets on Kunikida’s nerves is the fur. The amount of fur sticking to his clothes and yours sometimes drive him nuts - especially when it’s time for your dog to shed or thicken his fur. “One day, I’ll end up looking like your dog, [Name].”

➤ Since your dog is trained to read your emotions, Kunikida trusts the four-legged creature 100%. After all, it’s similar to a service for blind people, people with anxiety disorders, etc. He leaves for work more peacefully, knowing that your dog guides you through the day and watches out for you when Kunikida can’t.

➤ Has all your triggers written down in his book as well as how to avoid them and ease your anxiety about them. Kunikida has done lots of research on how to support people suffering from PTSD, the causes, symptoms and even directly asked you on how to help you. 

➤ Encourages you to go to therapy if you aren’t doing it already. Kunikida would never force you to see a therapist, but he thinks it’s in your best interest to do so and even offers to accompany you if it helps you in any way.

➤ Doesn’t mind losing a few hours of sleep because you suffer from a nightmare or insomnia. He’ll hear you out for as long as you need him to, but he might actually fall asleep on you, depending on how exhausting the day had been. 

➤ Much like Aku, Kunikida quickly learns the language of your dog and writes it down. Whenever your dog gives off certain signals, Kunikida watches out for the distance people are keeping, possible triggers or you yourself in general. He’s very thankful for your dog picking up your emotional well-being much faster than he ever could.

[pa-panda-heroes]

LoV with a Depressive! Reader, like, the Reader is always sad and cries alone, and the LoV is trying to cheer up them. I love your writings, they are beautiful! 💕 (I apologize for my english, it's not my language) thank you 💙

Aw thank you so much!! But sweetheart, please don’t apologize for your English. it is perfect!! 🥰💕

LoV with a depressive!reader!

Tomura:

I think Tomura can be like that too sometimes, honestly! The world has not been very kind to him, and he hurts because of it.

But while he understands how you feel, comforting you isn’t going to be something that is easy for him. It’s hard for him to comfort himself, let alone someone else.

He will often try, though. He knows how awful it is, and he doesn’t want you feeling that way.

Mostly he’ll lend you a shoulder to cry on and let you vent your troubles to him if you like. It’s a good opportunity for him to help you feel better without Tomura saying anything. He really doesn’t know what to say in that situation.

Or if you just want to hold onto him and cry it out, he’s okay with that, too. He’ll offer tissues and water, only because he remembers his mother once told him to drink lots of water after crying to prevent dehydration.

He might push snacks on you if he knows it’ll help, whether you really want to eat or not, because he’s worried that you haven’t eaten.

Really won’t leave you alone. Even if it’s just staying in the same room as you, he’ll want to be near you and make sure you’re okay.

He’ll keep his distance so as to not crowd you, because he knows personal space can be much appreciated in your situation. But he’ll get close if you tell him to.

Mr. Compress

He will do whatever he can to make you laugh or enjoy yourself, be it a trick involving a little bunny, or a trick that annoys Dabi and has him chasing the poor entertainer as a show of comedy.

Mr. will find new tricks if the ones he knows don’t work, looking anywhere and everywhere for something that could cheer you up.

He’ll let you talk it out as much as you need to, but unlike Tomura, he’ll say something. And he’ll know exactly what to say.

Most of the time, it’s words of encouragement. But when he can, he’ll try to help you work out whatever problem(s) is bothering you. He’s full of advice, so if you let him, he loves to share it with you.

He’ll make sure you’re hydrated, but honestly he does that all the time anyway!

Mr. knows crying and feeling/being depressed can be exhausting, so he’s also going to make sure you rest and get on a good sleep schedule.

He will deadass buy you a ridiculously expensive pillow if that means you’ll sleep better. He’ll make sure you eat properly, too. It might feel smothering, but he’s going to look out for you.

He won’t actually smother you. If he feels you need personal space, he’ll give you some space and let you alone for a bit. If he feels you need someone in the moment, he’ll be there.

Twice:

Twice is, in my opinion, super empathetic and sympathetic. He’ll know quickly when you’re upset, and he’ll be upset for you.

No joke. He’ll be crying alongside you and damning whatever made/makes you feel so bad. He’ll take what you’re feeling to heart, and do and say what he can to cheer you up.

He’ll smother you in snacks - or offer cigarrettes - mostly comfort food that you enjoy, tears gushing from his eyes almost comically all the while.

He might not be a great listener, as he has a habit of interjecting with questions or empathetic rants, but he’s a good listener because of that.

It’s because he’ll ask how you felt in the moment if something happened, or what someone made you feel. He’ll get you talking about your feelings and understanding them, whether an episode triggered your depressive feelings or if it’s regular.

Twice will give you a shoulder to cry on whenever you need it, although advice isn’t going to be his strong suit.

If nothing out of the ordinary is bothering you, he’ll try to help you figure it out. Sometimes things bother us and stress us out and we don’t even realize it.

If none of that seems to work, he’ll sit you down and watch movies with you - mostly happy movies, of course. It doesn’t matter if he’s seen it before, or if you’ve seen it before, if there’s a even a slight chance it’ll make you happy, he’ll put it on.

Himiko:

Oddly enough, Himiko is pretty good at comforting people. She has a protectiveness to her.

She’ll mother the living hell out of you, hugging you close and cuddling you while planting kisses to the crown of your head. Himiko will try to utter anything soothing that she can.

She’ll be happy to let you talk, and while she can’t solve your problem(s) or offer advice, she’ll offer affirmations to lift your mood.

She’ll offer to “do away” with anyone that you want her to, but obviously you won’t let her do that! Unless...?

Himiko can be hyperactive at times, so just sitting and listening won’t do for her. She’ll want to drag you on a walk with you while she listens, or in silence if you don’t want to talk. Even if you don’t talk, walking is good for your health, and so is the company.

One of her biggest fears is that you won’t come to her and let her be there for you. She cares about you, after all.

She’ll go on a bloodthirsty, rage-filled rampage if someone makes fun of you for being down. She’s protective like that.

Water water water! Himiko will be sure to give you lots of water, whether you want it or not. She’ll flavor it with something if she has to.

Dabi:

By far the worst at knowing how to comfort someone. Anything he does that is successful is purely him shooting a random shot and hoping for the best. But he’s not actually horrible at it.

He’ll sit you down and wrap an arm around you, which the closest thing to a hug you can get from him usually, and let you cry it out beside him.

He won’t really know what to say if you talk to him about it, but that just means he’s a damn good listener. He’ll nod and hum, maybe muttering, “yeah, that’s shit” or something along those lines every once in a while. But not often.

Dabi will probably offer liquor or any kind of booze before he offers you water, which isn’t the best thing to do. Hey, that’s how he works his shit out - why not?

He’ll want to keep his distance and hope that you want him to, as well. He can’t help you fix it; what’s he gonna do? And the worst part, he feels a bit helpless because he can’t think of anything to say.

Might offer to run a bath for you if one is available and he’s run out of ideas.

If he genuinely cares about you, he’ll let you cuddle up to him if that would make you feel better. Without complaint! Doesn’t matter if you cling onto him like a monkey, he knows when to complain and when not to.

Besides, it’s not like he enjoys seeing you so upset. Even if he teases you or pisses you off enough that steam is coming out of your ears, he doesn’t want you feeling down.

Spinner:

I think Spinner has a big heart, so when he sees you crying and sniffling, he’s going to feel awful.

He might not know immediately what to do or say to help you, if you want him to help, but he’ll ask lots of questions.

Do you want space? Do you need someone? Should I listen, or should I distract you? Should I get anything? - lots of questions.

He’ll often try to distract you with something he knows you care about, or maybe he’ll ramble on and on about a video game he knows you don’t like until you jab him in the ribs for it jokingly.

Sometimes he’ll even offer to take you out somewhere; not as a date necessarily, but it can be. He’ll first ask you where you’d want to go, but if you can’t think of anything, he’s not short on ideas.

He won’t always take you anywhere in particular. As long as he gets you out of your home for a bit to get some fresh air and change of scenery, he’s happy.

He’ll lightheartedly tease you and crack jokes until he can get you smiling again - that’s his favorite way of comforting you.

Any food or drink he offers isn’t going to be for your health. It’s mostly sugary junk food that’s only for comfort. Although he does have sports drinks, which have potassium and electrolytes in them that will help prevent dehydration from crying.

[ofcloudsandstars]

Hey you doing well?? Its been a while, i just wanted to make sure saturn wasn't kicking your ass too much. Idk you're loved and appreciated ❤❤

This is so sweet omg like sorry I have been quiet for a while but its really nice to see that people will notice if I suddenly disappear and people care! 😩 I dunno sorry to sound so dramatic but sometimes we all get that thot like what if I dropped off the face of the earth would anyone care and I know its irrational and caused by mental health stress cause of course people would notice, certainly my boss who would be like bitch you gotta clock in at 8AM where the fuck you at lol. 

Actually things have been ok so far. Just the general Aries season stress but nothing astronomically stressful. Spring Equinox was INCREDIBLE!! We had an incredible zoom celebration and then I met up with some friends of friends which lead me to meet this incredible clique of unfriendly black hottie london afro queer witches and we had a secret rave in someone’s warehouse loft which gave me so much life it like healed me from past traumas of feeling like I don’t fit in like I felt so seen and cherished that whole night. Plus they are all about creativity and living in tune with yourself and they all taught each other how to DJ and use those fancy DJ table sets and they had incredible music sets all night so we danced nonstop. Like I thought I was getting old but I managed to stay up until 7am lol. We had a cat!!! A random cat who lived in one of the warehouses come and crash our party!! He was sooo sweet and cute and probably was intrigued by a group of random magical humans up in the deadass of night during #RealCatHours when most humans would be sleeping so the cat just vibed with us like he came in, found a cozy seat and just sat at the edge of our dancing area as everyone pet and cherished him lol. Shortly after some man with ram horns bust in lol. He was wearing the horns cause it was aries season so he was appropriate. He brought balloons and I have always been apprehensive about doing synthetic substances as I am a child of the earth and will stick to my weeds and plants but I mean if you were ever planning to just experiment with a balloon in your life, why not on Spring equinox on the day of aries season when a strange fae with ram horns crashes your secret warehouse party? It was a good experience lol yolo 

Work started early but for a good reason cause my job changed again and we are working on a new system so my manager actually just wants us to get familiar with the changes before we kick off forreal. We’ve been working from home so its ok. It seems once we get the hang of it it will make our jobs a lot easier so I am grateful. Someone organizing the Spring Equinox readings got a bit sick (thankfully not Covid) but was unwell to continue doing it so I have to arrange them now and I feel a bit overwhelmed cause my weekend I am working so I hope I can sort it out :( I feel like people may be understanding since we all have witnessed that getting sick is No Joke these days. 

My week has just been busy with events and I finally have today and tomorrow off but I know not everyone is free during weekdays which is wack. I would have tried to start organizing yesterday when I was off but I took off to help this ADORABLE farm in Dartford start up their veggie bed with my gardening group. Oh my god it was so cute and magical and they had all kinds of animals grazing in flowering fields and it was such a sensually spring experience. They had so many cute native flowers blooming everywhere. When I got off the rail train my phone directed me to cut through the local woods for a 20 minute walk lol I felt like I was in some harvest moon shit. The woods were full of flowering trees or trees with fresh green shoots and daffodils and it was soo sunny. There was this one very friendly pig at the farm that was huge and smelly but really liked his back being rubbed so I had fun rubbing his back every time I had to run up to the house to use the toilet and back again. 

Anyway now that I have a nothing day I am just sorting through life admin stuff. Thanks for checking up on me. April side of Aries season is always a bit more chaotic for me for some reason so I can’t say how this Saturn transit feels yet but it’s over on the 10th. So far it’s been rewarding and peaceful but I notice my issues with Saturn are really internal cause my native Saturn is retrograde. I feel like its really hard for me to progress in life cause I shut down any budding efforts because they aren’t good enough. It’s pretty crippling but I guess this first transit lesson is to figure out how to get over that for good hopefully. 

Anyway I have rambled long enough. I may be pretty quiet for the rest of Aries season as I try to get my bearings (I am pretty excited but really nervous for Uranus entering my 4th house in April!! 😰) but will be more active here in Taurus season for sure. I think I will just come back to make some important posts for astro transits highlighting the more important ones to grace our presence the day before they hit. I mean I’ve always wanted to do that since I know not everyone has time to read the whole monthly forecast in one go and remember it, but life gets in the way lol. 

[momowho34]

Favorite things with theon in them that actually fucking happen in the books but could easily be something made up in a shitpost:

Roose Bolton, riding through the woods with Theon: ah well you know, ramseys a bit of a handful, but bastard sons murder their half brothers and sadistically torture people all the time, it’s normal. Boys will be boys, y’know?

Theon, staring: .....for the sake of my health I’m not going to comment on that actually

================================

Theon: listen, I’ve really hacked this subservience thinks, there is not a single rebellious bone in my body, I’m sure of that now. Anyway I totally belong to Ramsay (also known as the rat bastard son of a bitch that I would fucking stab right in the jugular if I got the chance god I hate him so much wish I could wring his stupid fucking neck and punch the goddamn smile off his face, I fucking hope he dies in a fire I hope his own dogs tear him to pieces) and will no longer resist anymore. No rebellious thoughts here, no sir, Ramsey’s the best and everything is fine :) :)))) :)))))))))

=================================

Theon: gee I sure do wonder why Ramsay is the way he is. I’m sure I’ll never know

Theon after spending a few minutes with Ramsay and Roose Bolton in the same room: ah yes. ‘twas just good old daddy issues. Huh. Of course

=================================

One of the ladies in the Bolton household, ordered by Roose: so this is what’s become of Theon Greyjoy, huh? Alright let’s get you cleaned up and looking well again.

Theon: *nervous laughter* ah yes, ma’am it appears you have mistaken me for an actual human being which I, in fact, am not. I do not do the baths or the physical appearance or the taking care of myself in any capacity, so if you need me I will be sitting on the floor and trying to get Not Tortured by Ramsay when he comes back for me. Have a good day :]

=================================

Theon, reminiscing at the big ole tree in winterfell: there are ghosts in winterfell, and I am one of them...

Mance Rayder’s girls in disguise, holding a knife to theon’s throat: don’t move or we’ll kill/maim you!!!

Theon, pausing, slowly and fully turning around and leaning into the blade at his throat, deadass staring the girl in the eye while saying in his most sarcastic, venom laced voice without a hint of fear: oh no. I’m so scared. This is definitely the worst thing that has ever happened to me, ever. I am quivering. Absolutely shaking in my boots. Positively scared for my life rn, I have never been more scared then I am right now. I had no idea this level of fear was even a thing. Can’t believe it. Shaken for life. I may never feel safe again. You have broken me. I am forever changed. So much worse then the time my fingers and toes were severed and my dick got cut off, so terrified.

Mace Rayder’s girls, seriously considering backing away slowly and never coming back: ..........okay, what the absolute 100% fuck???? ??????? Are- are you okay? Did- this was definitely not what I expected your reaction to be.

Theon, leaning closer to the blade, whispering: do it bitch I fucking dare you-

=================================

Mance Rayder: *flings the door open to Jeyne’s room so they can escape with her* okay theon get your girlfriend and then we can- oh my gods what the fuck happened to her?!?! What the fuck?!?!?!?!?? What the fuck?!?!?!??!!?!!?!?!

Jeyne Poole, in the corner, covered in blood and clearly devoid of sanity, rocking back and forth and barely still alive: *mutters some creepy shit incoherently*

Theon, not remotely effected at all, effortlessly picking Jeyne up and carrying her: don’t worry about it let’s go she’s fine

One of Mance Rayder’s girls: Why is there blood everywhere??!?!?? What happened here?!?!??!

Theon, shrugging: oh you know garden variety sadistic torture and dehumanization and depersonalization and general fuckery of mind and body and if I know Ramsay,, (and boy do I know Ramsay) also probably some form of mutilation to a degree. honestly, been there done that got the t-shirt and came out the other side, I’ll deal with it and hopefully get better but that’s only if we manage to get out of here so for fucks sake leTS GO-

=================================

Asha, watching Theon straight up materilize out of the woods near stannis’s army carrying a girl random girl: what the fuck???? Theon?????? Is that you?????? What the fuck are you doing here????????????

Theon, missing significantly less teeth then when Asha last saw him: sup bitch guess who’s back hehe didn’t see this comin’ didya???

[an-avid-reader]

The Hate U Give - Angie Thomas

my rating: 5/5 stars

On the night of a party gone wrong in Garden Heights, or “the hood”, Starr and her childhood best friend, Khalil, drive away only to be stopped by a white police officer. Khalil, unarmed, gets shot right in front of Starr’s eyes. Alas, Starr’s worlds—Garden Heights and Williamson, a predominantly white prep school—collide as word of Khalil’s death spreads and she is the only witness. Will Starr be able to bring justice to Khalil via riot and protests, or will he be remembered as a drug dealer and a thug?

"Funny how it works with white kids though. It's dope to be black until it's hard to be black"

Link to Goodreads || Spoiler-free review

A few things to check out:

Dear White People (Netflix)

When They See Us (Netflix)

Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race (Book)

A list of places to donate to / one YT video if you’re unable to donate 

Here’s a post that is much more comprehensive

let me know if any of the links don’t work, I will update them :)

There’s a reason why this book has quite a few awards on the front—this book covers what some may consider a “taboo” topic aka racism, but it’s an issue. I’m writing this review slightly earlier than before I’m posting it, but right now the current news is about George Floyd’s death, which is arguably more brutal than what happened in this book, but the fact that some police officers still think race has something to do with one’s intentions is outrageous and disgusting. Even in Canada, there have been instances of racism across history (spoiler: Canada isn’t a ‘saint nation’, even though the population is very diverse). 

For these reasons, I think this book, while it is triggering, I think it should be fit into the curriculum for students to read so that they may be educated on racism, and how it can literally kill others, as well as to try and dismantle the systematic racism that is imposed on us from a young age. I can never sit here and tell you that I can experience what Starr went through (or what any POC—black or otherwise—has ever been through), I can only educate myself and emphasize with what’s been said/done to you—please call me out if I’ve said something that may be offensive and feel free to correct me if I’ve said anything wrong.

Alright now on with the book review! This book is so raw and powerful, Thomas does a great job of describing the scenes and the emotions Starr goes through during each scene. We get to see how she feels about dating a white boy while being black herself, how her neighbourhood is beautiful despite it being described as the hood, we also get to see how Starr’s demeanor completely changes while she’s at school vs when she’s visiting her family. While Thomas’ writing may be simple, she does a great job of capturing those moments and the emotions tied within the scene.

As we get to see Starr becoming a witness and taking legal action, I wasn’t sure where the story was headed. Would Khalil get justice and would the cop go to jail? How would Starr’s mental health be affected? Will her family be okay? (Don’t you just love it when there’s so much more conflict in the story that needs to be resolved and yet there are only 2 chapters left) Etc. etc. The thing about The Hate U Give is that there are multiple story lines, which help to drive the story forwards. Those plotlines didn’t feel out of place or forced—everything seemed to progress at a reasonable pace. 

I feel like one of the key parts of this story are the characters and their dynamics to the story. The most obvious being between Starr and her family. Although Starr has her own secrets that she keeps from her dad (*cough cough* Chris *cough cough*), I feel like they still have a strong bond, especially as the story went on and her dad, Maverick, stood behind Starr, even when things went south. (I could also 100% relate to Starr bickering with her brothers—even her half-brother). Then there’s Chris, which I kinda feel weird about him...which I feel like it’s a spoiler so I’ll talk about it under the cut. Overall, I’m glad that while he doesn’t understand what Starr has been through, he doesn’t judge her—he listens to her story and he also stays by Starr’s side at all times. I appreciate that Thomas didn’t put too much focus on the romance, otherwise I think it would’ve detracted from the main message. Finally, there are Starr friends. Even though we only got to know Khalil for a bit at the beginning, I like that Starr’s friendship with him was sprinkled throughout the story, even if it was in subtle ways. You could tell that, while their friendship may have fallen apart, Starr really cared for him and he was at the forefront of her mind. We also get to see Maya and Haliey’s friendship with Starr...and I can’t talk much about that without spoilers :/ let’s just say...it was interesting…

While I can’t exactly relate to Starr on an emotional/traumatic/life experience level, I love that we are both Harry Potter fans and she runs a Tumblr (which idk why but I’m always taken aback when books have Tumblrs?? Yet here we are). I appreciate that she tries to see the best in people, until they prove her wrong (or give her a reason to not like them). I think Starr is a strong role model in the sense that she stands up for herself and is determined to get justice, although she’s not cocky about it. It’s quite the opposite, she doubts herself—I just remember that there were so many parts where she blamed herself for not recalling every single detail of the incident or not putting emphasis on the type of person Khalil was to avoid him getting stereotyped. Starr also questioned her relationship with Chris, albeit she seemed a bit naive at some points. Because of Starr’s strong personality and her core values, the message of The Hate U Give is so much stronger, hence why I feel like everyone should read this novel.

Finally, I learned a lot from this novel. Regardless of the fact that this is a fictional book, it is very much based on the realities of Black people and the hardships they must endure on a daily basis. To be honest, I feel so dumb for not even realizing that the title spells out THUG and runs parallel with Tupac’s meaning of THUG LIFE. Mind you, now when I look at the cover, it’s all I see. I also didn’t realize that Black kids and teens are taught how to act around the police—all to be avoided to get arrested, shot, or killed—which is frankly, messed up. Thomas also takes the time to address the names she used, intentionally to give another layer of the book, which I feel that it is based on reality. I can definitely see why this book has received so many awards—and if this book were implemented in schools, it would allow the discussion on racism to be opened and it would also allow kids to see that not all authors are white, old men (looking at you, Shakespeare, which tbh the only good play I read was Macbeth).

I wanted to thank you for reading my review; if you’ve read this book, I’d love to know your thoughts. Below the cut, I have a spoiler section that I wanted to include (which I might add in future reviews, idk though). 

Please stay safe and healthy,

~ Cassandra / an-avid-reader

THE REMAINDER OF THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS

Okay, I’m not going to lie, but I thought that no one knew about Chris; didn’t Starr mention within the first few chapters that she can’t introduce him to her family because she’s afraid of what they’ll say/judge her for dating a white boy? But then, it turns out it’s just her dad that doesn’t know about him??? Idk if my memory is really that bad or if it’s such a slim detail (maybe it actually is an inconsistency o.O). But anyways, I love how Maverick was just playing with him (and making it clear that Chris would be in big trouble if he hurt Starr). I’m also not sure if he has a fetish for Black women (which Starr also pointed that out)—which I don’t know how to feel about that. I know some people have a thing for people of colour (Asians are commonly a fetish too, for example) but then some guys also have a thing for super short girls? Um yeah. I’ll probably leave it at that.

I’m not sure if it was just me, but I deadass thought Seven was going to be a gangbanger. He was sooooo suspicious anytime King was mentioned (which I get King is with Seven’s biological mom, but still I can’t be the only one who was suspicious, right?). I have to give him props though for putting his sisters’ needs before his own and for also listening to Iesha’s point of view. This man doesn’t give on people easily, and that’s a nice change. 

The last thing I wanted to include in this spoiler section is Haliey. I just— wtf man. She perfectly embodies the issue and idk she gave me such Karen vibes. It’s so frustrating that she just accepted the newspaper’s article story at face value—I don’t even think she even took the time to listen to the other point of view. I’m so glad that Starr punched her in the face, even though that resulted in her getting in trouble. And it’s not even towards just Starr that she was racist! When Maya opened up about Haliey’s comments, I was pretty infuriated. I think Haliey’s comments came from a place of ignorance or a lack of education, but it just bothered me that she just brushed it off. Smh “it was just a joke” or “get over it” *rolls eyes* Just apologize, Haliey, and educate yourself, please. Actually, maybe she could take lessons from Mr. Warren, their english teacher because he was lowkey a G. I was pleased to see he was a teacher (who are often seen as role models) that actually gave a crap about Starr and what she was going through. I guess we just need to be more attentive to what people have to say and be more empathetic when they’re hurt.

[trickstercheebs]

fuck we have to CHOOSe one? Uuuuh "✿: feeling so out of it, they need constant attention" AGP sick Gordon and the team? and/or "+: being led back to bed with patient whispers" but they dont have bodies yet, just worry

YOU GOT IT! here we go

He had walked back in and half the team knew something was wrong. He looked flushed as hell despite it being 70 degrees outside..Half the time they tried talking to him he had to be called to attention multiple times, clearly something was wrong.

“Gordon..? Gordon are you okay? What’s wrong you never act like this....hello?”

Tommy was the first to try and get Gordon to explain what was going on, he brushed them off weakly saying he just felt a little light headed...But the way he talked sounded like he barely heard Tommy talking.

Coomer tried next, knowing his usual greeting always got a response, his normal smile fell when Gordon didn’t fully respond for several minutes, even Bubby had finally dropped the snark in favor of seeing what the hell was going on with their Gordon.

“Hey, hey what the fuck is actually going on Gordon...You’ve never acted like this before, are you dying on us or something? You fucking better not or else I’m going to fucking come out there...okay? Just...just dont fucking die on us for real Gordon.”

Gordon by now had slumped back into his chair watching the AI’s frantically figure out what’s wrong, the strongest of them now cracking with worry when their usual antics and nonsense got....nothing back.

“Guys....guys I’m not gonna die okay..? I’m...just a lil sick is all, just a lil fever nothing to worry about. “

“Bullshit bro, that...that doesnt look like a normal fever...Gordon you need to get into bed. Shit’s not good to just stay in the chair for...”

Benry had finally shown his own worry after watching Gordon just....sit there unmoving and staring off into space for a half hour, it wasn’t fun to watch him do that knowing he’s delirious and shit.

“Ben...ry? Shit since when did you become a mother hen..? heheh..I must be out of it then if I have you freaking out at me..”

The others were trying to figure out what to do, how to get Gordon to get better or at least fucking sleep..The fact they lacked bodies made this all entirely and unnecessarily harder to do. Tommy and Coomer combed over wikipedia and any health web pages on how to best combat a cold. Bubby kept on trying to berate and convince Gordon to go to sleep and rest with little to no success.

Benry though was wanting to try some other methods. If Gordon was this fucking out of it...maybe he could try the only method he had available left. 

Giving a quick word to the others on what the fuck was about to go down and getting the “Go ahead we have no fucking other ways.” he slipped into Gordons phone and tested the waters of Gordons mind.

Like Tommy and Coomer, Benry sometimes delved into the deep oceans of knowledge that Wikipedia offered, mostly on some stupid meme shit.. But as of late he had delved into the science of the mind and sleep. Mostly to figure out how he could slip into Gordons mind at night..and maybe how the whole subconscious worked.

He found nothing but stupid ass jargon but some of the things he learned were interesting...Like that at certain stages of delirium and sleep deprivation, the mind enters a sleep like state...or as close to it as possible. 

Benry smiled to himself as he felt himself slide into Gordons mind with practiced ease. The others wouldn’t know what was going on on this side of things...But if it worked like he hoped Gordon would be fine and in bed soon.

“Gordon...hey dumbass look at me for a second.. C’mon sleepy head, lil baby needs to be put down for a nap.”

“B....Benry? Issat you?”

“Yeah? C’mon I need you to get up, take the headphones off bro.”

Gordon blinked owlishly up at the guard now standing above him smiling softly...When did he get here? Was he always here...?

“When’d you get out here dude? ...what the shit’s going on?”

“Don’t worry about it bro, c’mon get up outta the chair, bed’s alot better for baby time naps. I’ll join you even if you want Gordon....”

“...that sounds....actually kinda nice..? alright.”

Benry sighed softly in relief as Gordon pushed himself out of the chair at last, hearing the muted cheers from the rest of the science team as he stumbled towards the bed nearby.

Gordon all but collapsed onto the edge of said bed, and with some more prompting by Benry shuffled under the covers to sleep like a decent human being. Benry himself couldnt do much aside from mime sitting on the edge of the bed and talk to him until sleep finally claimed Gordon at long last a hour later.

The rest of the science team went about their day, checking up on Gordon via phone to see if he was still asleep or feeling at all better.. They didn’t entirely understand where Benry went, Coomer had one idea but that was something to discuss in private with Benry himself.

As for Benry, he stayed hidden in Gordon’s hazy fever dreams to keep him company. With the fever affecting him it made things ten times stranger....Not that he minded, he could gently shift things away from nightmarish topics and have a bit of fun with Gordon, who did not seem to know or mind whatever the hell was going on.

Of course he also indulged in some nonsense of his own at Gordon’s expense, he accompanied him on his feverish adventures and played along with whatever logic Gordon’s brain supplied... and of course using the cover of dreams to kiss and cuddle whenever possible with the poor man.

Several hours later, Benry slipped back into the computer to say Gordon had gone into a dreamless deeper sleep..But now all they had to do was wait and hope in the morning things would be better.

Morning came and went, and later into the afternoon Gordon finally managed to pull himself from sleeps loving embrace with a coughing yawn.

“Gordon?? Gordon you’re alive! Good morning!”

“Hello...Tommy? Tommy what time is it...? Where’s my phone at...”

Fumbling about with a slow groan he dug his phone out of the blanket nest he made in his sleep...When the hell did he get here? Christ he barely remembered yesterday even...it was four in the afternoon...Wow he was out cold for almost a full day.

“Holy fuck I must of been deadass...Sorry guys, I felt like utter shit yesterday, didn’t mean to scare you all if I did, I barely remember being conscious at all.”

“That’s all well and fine Gordon, but you must learn to take better care of yourself! You had us worried it was something much more dire.”

“Sorry Dr. Coomer...and you’re right I should take better care of myself from now on..I had some fucking weird dreams though..”

“Like what Gordon?”

“Well....”

He shifted in bed to get more comfortable, he still felt bad but...least he could talk to the others semi normally now. The dreams he had were strange as hell come to think of it, most of them he couldnt remember for shit aside from a handful.

“I could of sworn at some point Benry was yelling at me to get into bed and stop doing stupid shit...”

“Bro that wasn’t a dream I was yelling at you to take a lil baby nap for like...two hours. You’re a stubborn lil man.”

“No I mean...I mean like actually yelling at me, like face to face physically..”

“Wow bro, you dreamin me up out there with you? Shit sounds gay, if I was really there I’d just throw you into bed instead of just yelling.”

“Dude shut up..I guess I was probably hallucinating while you were all telling me to sleep..”

“That sounds about right, you were very very delirious all day Gordon. I’m glad to see you’re doing a bit better now.”

“Me too Dr. Coomer..I guess I should get some cold medicine now huh?”

“If you fucking dont im blowing your entire savings right here and now.”

“Alright alright jesus Bubby...I’m glad I have all of you to worry over me hahah”

Gordon laughed softly as he finally got out of bed to find his cold meds and get started on getting rid of this cold.

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

what are your thoughts on the skeleton twins

Hi! I finished watching it last night but desperately needed sleep after because I knew I had things to do this morning, and I also wanted to process it (sometimes I have to take some time to process movies, other times I just word vomit about them).

This is kind of long but I’ll add a read more later when I have the chance!

Anyway; The Skeleton Twins...I really enjoyed it! I went in knowing absolutely nothing except that Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig were in it and playing twins, and I wasn’t sure what to expect. I think, given the two actors I mentioned, I was expecting pure comedy or something? But I was so blown away by the film and the performances they gave.

Obviously I love both Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig anyway but this movie really showed their serious acting chops. There were some funny moments too, of course, but they’re both really talented doing genres outside of comedy too, and it sometimes takes me aback when I see comedians do such a good job with non-comedic roles - then again, comedy is probably the hardest genre to pull off, and so it’s no wonder they’re both talented anyway. (I’m rambling, sorry!)

{below here I’m talking about themes related to mental health/suicide, and I can’t put a read more at the moment because I’m currently on my mobile - I will be putting a read more here when I get the chance later!}

I was so taken aback though because the film starts with Milo attempting to commit suicide and Maggie contemplating it, and I guess...it’s something I have struggled with, and so it really made my heart drop especially when I saw Milo in the bathtub and the water turn red. It doesn’t show him actually cutting but we all know what happened. Without going into too much detail, SH and mental illness is something I really struggle with, even though I’m slowly recovering these days - it never truly goes away though, you know it’s there even if you’ve gotten better and it’s something you learn to cope and deal with.

Honestly, I was sort of pleasantly surprised by how well the film portrayed mental illness and suicide with both the main characters. I felt at times I should have hated Maggie for cheating and lying to her husband but I also sort of empathized with her (not with the cheating, just the whole situation and being in a huge mess), and I think what made the film was the relationship between the two siblings because it’s so real and natural, especially if you consider the circumstances when they were younger. Their interactions as siblings was so believeable too, like sometimes you’ll watch movies with siblings and the siblings are all mushy or too at each other’s throats, and it’s unrealistic. They both feel so relatable and easy to connect to, though I suppose I am kind of more biased towards Bill’s character because he’s the reason I watched it (after seeing the clip of him dancing online - that was literally the only part I had seen before).

This is kind of dumb, but as I said, I thought they did a great job portraying depression and the aftermath of the suicide attempts? Like when Maggie was drowning herself and then panicked and tried to swim back up but couldn’t - I’ve heard stories of people who have survived jumping off of bridges or whatever, and they’ve said that after making that jump they instantly regretted it. I think that’s so accurate - it’s not glamourizing suicide either, like it would have been so easy to have her sink peacefully and be rescued without her wanting it and then realize what she’s doing but instead they showed the panic, the regret.

I think what especially caught my eye, however, was the fact that Milo was wearing bracelets on his wrists later in the film to hide his scars and like...? That is so relatable, that is something I do during the summer if it’s been one of those instances, I wear bracelets and wristbands and sometimes even tie a bandana around my wrist to hide it.

I don’t know if that’s just something I do/have done and I’m projecting, or if it’s because actual research/thought was put into it, but either way it was something that really stood out to me and made him more relatable?

I can’t remember the name of Milo’s ex teacher but he can get fucked for all I care. He took advantage and manipulated a teenage boy and I think that’s important to remember. It would be easy to just freak out because omg cute gay couple but to me I just saw it as a one-sided unhealthy relationship where one is manipulative and abusive to the other who feels like they need their love, and it’s kind of depressing - but then Milo basically says “fuck that” by the end, and it’s beautiful because it’s like he’s deciding “you know what, I deserve to be treated better” - and he does, he really does. Beforehand it felt (to me) like he allowed himself to be used and mistreated because he felt like that was the only way he could feel worthy, but then he grows and develops and I think that’s so important.

I think I should also briefly mention that the scene where Maggie tells Milo “maybe next time you should cut deeper” genuinely broke my heart for many reasons - because she’s so upset and her marriage is ruined and everything is a mess, so much so that she actually says that to him before immediately regretting it. And ofc I was so upset because that’s literally something your brain tells you when you’re depressed and suicidal/self harm, that maybe next time...yeah. You can see the flurry of emotions on his face as he processes what she said, like he’s in genuine disbelief that she - his own sister, his twin - said such a cruel and disgusting thing to him like that. It genuinely broke my heart to see, though I was glad they did eventually mend things between them.

Some other things I want to mention but don’t have the brain capacity to talk about properly because I’m exhausted and a dumbass:

The Marley and Me joke was so relatable omg, I read the more child friendly version when I was little but I had no idea the dog died and it broke my damn heart, so that little joke about Marley and Me was hilarious to me

Honestly I’m talking a lot about Bill Hader but I do truly adore Kristen Wiig too, like she’s probably one of the most diverse actresses who does all sorts of genres and projects - from voice acting to drama to SNL etc - and she’s incredible in this film.

Lance was a sweetheart and I feel sorry for him? Like he genuinely loved Maggie and was such a nice guy, and while some of the stuff he said wasn’t always helpful or correct, it came from a place of caring and that’s what matters. Also he was totally cool with his brother in law who he never met before coming and living in his house, and he even helped Milo get some work (even if said work WAS clearing brush away)

The scene where the twins go out and Bill Hader is dressed in drag is honestly a highlight of this movie

Actually the scene where he sees himself the first time in drag is also a highlight

The scene where the mother is making a long ass toast while everyone is waiting to drink their wine, and Maggie/Kristen Wiig just downs her glass before she’s finished is so relatable

Okay but there’s a scene where Milo goes to a gay bar looking for a lay and just...the night he goes, of course it’s fuckin “Dyke Night” (their words, not mine!) and then he comes home absolutely pissed and telling his sister and his brother in law that he just wanted “some c*ck”, omg I was laughing way too hard. Also let’s not forget that he said the two “lesbian ladies” he met were lovely and taught him to play darts, we love mlm and wlw solidarity!!

Well since we’ve already established I’m fucking trash for Bill Hader, let’s just include that moment where his character is shirtless (kinda) in bed

That scene where Maggie meets up with some woman she knew (in high school I think?) and that woman has a son, and the son is a little dick and the mom and the son are cussing at each other was a whole new level of hilarious I didn’t expect, like I was deadass expecting this chick to go on about how wonderful it is to be a mother even when he’s a dick to her, how it’s a great gift, but nope, she knows and even says he’s a fucking dick 😂

THE DENTIST OFFICE SCENE JESUS CHRIST I HAD TO PAUSE BECAUSE I WAS GENUINELY PISSING MYSELF WITH LAUGHTER?!

THAT DANCE SCENE AM I RIGHT, OMG, like he’s so cute and happy in that scene and then she joins in and it’s so dorky and fun??

I LOVE all the water imagery and shit, like maybe it’s just because I’m an absolute geek for swimming (it’s one of maybe three sports I don’t totally suck at??) and I love the cinematography underwater, whether it’s the skeleton key ring sinking or the scuba diving or Milo’s goldfish. So much wonderful cinematography and imagery!

This film has ultimately shown me that Wiig and Hader deserve Oscars and awards ASAP

Also this is just a general note to anyone reading, feel free to recommend movies to me anytime because I’m a cinephile and love getting to watch new films!

[cncoh-damn]

Late Night Calls

Summary: As much as you love talking to the guys, late night calls with them isn’t always the best thing, especially when timezones are in the way.

Word count: 4,993

Tags: @richukisbb @quierick @mamacamacho @erickspretend1 @whymyeyeslikethat @zaddydejesus @zabdielsdimples @cncownerxcr7 @streamdecero @cncoxpmxvibes @marveloucnco

Wanna join the taglist? 

Ah, tests. No matter how good you were at school, there would never come a time when you’d look back on them with a smile. Of course, with this being the last year you’d have to take them (at least, until you decide to go to college), you just can’t afford to flunk a single one. Despite several protests from both your own squad and the boys, you promptly locked yourself in your room with nothing but several cans of Red Bull and one too many snacks that definitely didn’t count as dinner. Of course, you couldn’t really ignore the repeated knocking on your door (courtesy of Elodie, the twins, and Alex) nor could you ignore the buzzing of your phone, no doubt caused by the guys trying to convince you to take a break and actually eat something that didn’t come from a vending machine, so with a sigh, you get off your bed and unlock the door.

Unbeknownst to you, Alex stopped banging on the door roughly half an hour ago, and she’d been put on update duty; sending pictures and telling Zabdiel–who would then tell the others–how things were going on their end. Zabdiel did the same, although he still sent you messages every half hour or so. By the end of your five-hour study session, you swear there would be little grooves on your door from where one of the girls’ bracelets or rings hit. Checking your phone for the notifications, you’re mildly impressed to see the number of messages and missed calls you got, most of them from Erick and Chris. Probably something about your unhealthy habits, but really, you’re not about to listen to them; those two were sometimes worse than you after all.

And that’s how, ninety minutes later, you went back to your room after a somewhat excruciating–but delicious–dinner. As she came from a family that put a premium on academic achievement, Alex was the most sympathetic to your wanting to spend the rest of the night studying, though she was quick to tell you to not “study until you pass out” again. Slipping on a stolen hoodie (probably Christopher’s judging by how it wasn’t too baggy on you), you put on your studying playlist and get lost in your textbooks, a feat more difficult than it would seem.

The hours pass in a blur of flash cards, ink smudges, notes scrawled messily in the margins of a page, and several breaks for you to pop the knuckles of your hand when it feels like it’s about to cramp up from writing so much. By the time you finish, it’s already nearing eleven in the evening, and judging by the lack of noise from beyond your door, the others were already asleep or out. (E/c) eyes glance over the mess on your desk, papers and books and pens strewn around your laptop. You then glance over to the vanity-turned-extra-desk-space in front of your bed, brows furrowing at the mess. Not really the most ideal set-up, especially when everything you needed had to be within arm’s reach, but you could fix it later on. Or once your tests are over, something that seems more likely than the former.

Stretching your limbs, you let out a yawn before your eyes fall upon your phone, a notification light blinking to alert you of, well, unseen notifications. Placing your thumb over the home button for it to acknowledge your fingerprint, you rub your eyes with the other hand as your phone unlocks to show everything you’ve missed.

Thirty missed WhatsApp calls from the guys.

Several puns from Erick telling you to stay hydrated and take care of yourself.

Memes from both Chris and Erick that are related to the subjects you currently had.

Khan Academy videos from Zabdiel and Joel.

And finally, a group selfie from Richard, with all of them looking like kicked puppies. You have no idea who came up with the caption, but you were sure the dorks were trying to guilt you into studying and looking after your health. As much as you wanted to deny it, the fact that they all cared enough to spam your phone with messages telling you to take care of yourself warmed your heart. Needless to say, that picture gets saved to your gallery, where you’ll keep it to look at every time you needed a reminder to look after yourself it’ll stagnate and probably end up buried under the copious amount of memes and videos you save from your chats with the guys.

Noticing that your phone’s about to die–you both love and hate them for spamming it, because that meant your battery got drained quicker than it normally did–, you snag one of the many phone chargers on your bedside table, plugging it into the socket behind your table lamp and leaving it there. Next, you stretch some more before you pad over to your bathroom, fully intent on taking a shower before falling asleep. Hey, you might even get the chance to try out that new body wash you and Joel got from Lush the last time you hung out with him.

You step out of the bathroom twenty minutes later, shea butter-scented steam wafting into your room. Mental note to self, (Y/N): thank Joelito next time you see him, because shea butter smells so good. Plus it felt great on your skin, a bonus that usually came with the skincare products you bought. Yes, where most people bought skincare stuff for the sake of making their skin better, you buy the stuff because it smells good. After you wring out the excess water with a towel, you plonk down on the stool in front of the bathroom counter, a hairbrush in one hand and the hair dryer in another. Five minutes is all it takes for your hair to be just a little damp, and you set the dryer down to brush your hair until it’s no longer wet. Once that’s done, you brush your teeth and rush through the five step skin regime that Iana and Joel set up for you. Yeesh.

By the time your head hits the pillow, you don’t bother with anything aside from getting the blanket over your head as sleep claims you. Too bad you’re not getting the uninterrupted eight hours of sleep you wanted.

CYOA: Pick Your Boy

Christopher Velez:

maybe it wasn’t a good idea for you to set one of the most iconic songs in your music library as his ringtone

but really, Sk8r Boi was the song for him

YES IT’S BC HE’S AN ACTUAL SKATER

plus it was the first song you two ever jammed out to, so it’s got a special spot in your friendship

ANYWAY

as much as you love Avril Lavigne, you weren’t fond of waking up to the guitar riff you always played when you got your hands on an electric guitar

honestly you were tempted to let it go to voicemail because DAMN IT BRYANT, YOU WERE SLEEPY

but you figured that Chris wouldn’t call you at fuck knows what time in the morning if there wasn’t a reason

so you pick up, pulling the micro-USB connector from your phone’s charging port before pressing it into your ear, half your face smooshed into your pillow

“Nena!”

now normally the hyper ball known as Christopher Velez wouldn’t annoy you by simply saying one word, but… you were tired

so you grunt before speaking. 

“Hola, Chris.”

bear in mind you were rudely awakened by his ringtone playing, so you’re not in the best mood rn

but he deadass doesn’t pick up on it

so he’s babbling on and on, switching between Spanish and English way too quickly for your still-sleepy mind to comprehend

just as you’re about to yawn, he stops mid-sentence

“(Y/N)? Cuál es tu color favorito?”

you actually yawn while he’s asking, and it takes a second or so for you to realize he asked for your favorite color

“Uhh (f/c),” you say, yawning right after.

he doesn’t say much to you after, and you’re about to let the background noise from his end lull you to sleep

HA SIKE

just as you close your eyes, he makes this triumphant little noise that wakes you up again

and really, you don’t want to rain on his parade (even if he’s keeping you from your precious sleep), so you pull the phone away to let a tiny groan out

(Y/N) wants sleep

pero Christopher, el loco, just had to call you. smh

once you press the phone back to your ear, you barely just get the tail end of what he was saying

and really, you missed the guys (and Chris’ crazy laugh, but shh), but you needed sleep

so you yawn again before interrupting him

“Dude, I miss you and all, pero estoy cansado, chico.”

on one hand, he feels bad. but on the other, your sleepy voice is hella cute so… he has no regrets.

maybe a little guilt bc he knows you needed sleep to help with your test

so he’s all like “Ah, lo siento conejito. Go back to sleep, si? Just call me after your test!”

too bad you fell asleep in the middle of his apology lmao

he was waiting for a verbal response, but then he heard a snore

headass wanted to record it for blackmail purposes but nah

so he just hung up

gracias mucho, Christopher

(Y/N)’s circadian rhythm salutes you

also you called him as soon as school let out so you could tell him you did decent on the test

when you got it back, you sent him a picture. perfect score, hell yes.

lowkey you had to beg him not to post it on his IG. it’d be awkward af, plus it’d fuel some rumors that really wouldn’t be good for anyone

Richard Camacho:

okay, so you really had to set a punk rock song for this somewhat emo lil bish’s ringtone

but rn, you’re regretting it

no, Ronnie Radke, (Y/N) (L/N) doesn’t know why good girls go for bad guys now please shut it

it really suited Richuki tbh, what with him definitely pulling off the bad boy daddy dom look, but goddamnit it was loud

also Good Girls Bad Guys was the first Falling In Reverse song he ever listened to (courtesy of your emo phase that didn’t quite end, just turned lowkey) and he liked it

2012 (Y/N) is thrilled that 2018 (Y/N) has a friend who’s willing to listen to punk rock with her, even if said friend is a bit of a flirt

so he calls you around 4 am your time

you’re still a lil grumpy, but since you were in NREM 1, you woke up pretty easily

doesn’t mean you’re happy about it though

adios eight hours of uninterrupted sleep

but you figure this would happen sooner or later, especially since you and the guys have this sibling-like dynamic now

you pick up ofc, bc you’re already awake and you really don’t like sending any of your friends to voicemail

and he’s just surprised you picked up

there’s a little tremor in his voice and it makes you worry because you’ve never known his voice to not be even because of anything other than anger

or so you thought

now that he sounds upset, you’re a little more awake than before

“Que pasa?”

you usually switch between Spanish and English when talking to them, and it stays that way no matter how sleepy you are

there’s silence on his end for a while, and while it does make you worry more, it makes you a lot sleepier

you swear you’re about to fall asleep before he speaks up again

“No es nada. Just go back to sleep, okay?”

as tempted as you are to do just that, you’re not about to. bitchass had the guts to call you before dawn and make you worry before saying it was nothing? nuh-uh

you love sleep, but you love your friends (and your hobbies) more

“Don’t give me that bullshit Camacho.”

using his last name? he screwed up, and Richard knows it

he’s kinda quiet on the other end though, and you! don’t! like! it!

“Yashel? Richuki? C'mon man, what’s wrong?”

blame it on the fact that it’s like 4 am, that’s the only reason you’re being a softie rn

“It’s nothing. Sorry for waking you.” And then headass fucking hangs up

much to your chagrin

THE AUDACITY

he calls you before the asscrack of dawn, makes you worry, then decides that it’s nothing before hanging up on you? R U D E 

like, screw the fact that you only had four or so hours of sleep, something was up with Richard and you’re determined to find out what

so, against your better judgement, you call him

he picks up bc headass didn’t set a different ringtone for you even if you’re friends hmph

“What happened?” literally no hesitation or beating around the bush here; if something was wrong, then you sure as hell wanted to know about it, especially since he called you

“It’s nothing (Y/N). You have a test tomorrow, just go sleep.” and then he hangs up on you AGAIN

by this point you’re cranky and mildly insulted, so you plug your phone back in to charge before you go back to sleep

you didn’t wake up in the best mood that day, ngl

lil bit snappy, kinda sassier than usual

basically your mood was like Joel’s every time he was on Twitter

the bad mood followed you all the way through your test, and it was pretty obvious from how tightly you were holding onto your pen

after school, though, you call him again and hope he doesn’t hang up on you

“Wanna tell me what’s wrong now?”

“Am I a good dad?”

oof this was not something you were prepared for

“The hell are you talking about? You’re a better dad than most are, man.”

as it turns out, he misses Aaliyah and worries that he’s not doing the best he can as a father

and you’re like “???” because the fact that he and Yocelyn are co-parenting means that he’s doing his best

especially given that he’s away on tours and doing promo stuff a lot

and he’s slowly spiraling into this really dark space and you! refuse! to! let! it! happen!

“Dude, listen to me. Yes you’re not around as much as you want to, and yes you may miss some parts of her life, but look at it this way: you’re making an effort to be part of her life, and that’s way more than I can say for most of the guys who accidentally knock up their girlfriend. So chill, okay?”

soft hours have been extended all bc Richuki doubted himself :((

by the end of the call, he’s feeling a lot better

“Gracias, nena.”

“De nada, dude. Next time though? Don’t call me sounding all upset and shit and then hang up.”

he laughed at that, but then apologized, so you’re not annoyed at him anymore

lowkey you’re considering changing his ringtone but… nah

Zabdiel de Jesus

if there was anyone of the guys you thought would know not to call you when you’re supposed to be asleep, it’d be Zabdiel

but nOPE

he called you probably thirty minutes after you fell asleep

and even if Britney Spears is a guilty pleasure, you don’t want to wake up to Womanizer blaring from your phone

sorry Elodie

but it’s blaring and you’re rudely awakened and now you’re sleepily squinting/glaring at the stupid thing as if it would make it stop. it doesn’t.

so now you’re picking it up because damn it, what the fuck could Zabdiel want?

you yawn as you accept the call, laying on your side so you don’t have to hold the phone to your ear

“Que?”

you didn’t expect to hear loud ass bass and what was probably a party on the other end

but you did

and now you’re trying to keep yourself from cussing at him. you two weren’t that close yet, and no way were you going to risk offending someone because they called you at lord knows what time in the morning.

so you take a page out of his book and take several breaths to calm yourself before repeating the question

“Cometí un error,” he groans, and you’re so tempted to just yeet your phone away because fucking hell, he’s drunk! or somewhat intoxicated.

either way, you are not in the right state of mind to speak to a drunk person

“¿Qué hiciste?“ It’s a struggle to not let the annoyance in your voice show, but you barely even manage to hide it. Thankfully, he’s too drunk to notice.

“I screwed up, (Y/N).” The way he says it is almost too pathetic and you sigh.

“Si, you said that. What happened?” There’s mumbling on his end and all you could make out is a name: Gwen. it takes a while before you piece it together, and you facepalm once the puzzle pieces slot together.

he was upset about his ex

his ex that, according to rumors, he cheated on

and then, for some reason, he figured you were the best person to talk to? okay, not the best person, but one of the first people he should call. 

you were not equipped for this. nuh-uh.

“Zabdi, that was a whole year ago. Hell, maybe even more.” Really, you wanted to ask why the fuck he was thinking about this now

it’s been a Y E A R

“I really liked her,” he continues slurring into the phone, and you muffle a groan with your hand. did befriending an entire boyband mean that you had to listen to them talk about their exes even if it’s been a year? even if they were probably the cause behind the breakup in the first place?

can you resign from being their friend now? (you say this despite knowing you wouldn’t go through with it. you love the dorks too much)

“Zab, you can’t do anything about it now.” You’re trying to be a nice and comforting voice of reason, you really are, but damn it the bass is too loud and you still have a test later in the day

you don’t know what’s happening on his end, but you think you hear something that sounds suspiciously like a sob

cue another eye roll

“Escúchame, Zabdiel. It’s in the past, si? Nothing you can do about it other than learn from your mistake and no lo hagas de nuevo. Lo tengo?”

there’s a bit of scuffling on the other end, and your brows furrow. the hell was happening?

you get an answer when Clara’s voice comes through, and you blink. huh, guess they were bringing him back to the hotel. or his room, who knows.

“Lo siento (Y/N), the rest of the guys thought he went off with a girl,” she explains, and you muffle a yawn.

“It’s okay, Clara. Just–”yawn, “Make sure he doesn’t puke or something. G’night.”

you hang up before she does, plugging your phone back in before you finally conk out again

during dinner that evening, you ask the girls how to deal with a friend who’s an emotional drunk, just so you’re prepared for the next time he calls you when intoxicated.

after that, you send him a few feel-good texts. mostly stuff that siblings would send each other, so you’re really living up to the familial nature your friendship has begun to take on

Joel Pimentel:

just so we’re clear, the only reason you call Joel more than any of the other guys is because he rarely checks his messages, groupchats or otherwise

that said, you’re surprised when, instead of the first of your alarms, The A Team plays from your phone

it’s weird that he’s the one calling you and not the other way around, but you shrug it off

at least he’s calling around the time of your first alarm

“What,” you deadpan into the phone

“When the fuck were you going to tell me you were at the Infinity War premiere.”

whatever it is you were expecting to hear, this ain’t it folks

“Uhh… never?”

and cue a cranky Joelito ranting about you getting to be there and not telling him so he could’ve tried to get tickets 

to which you needed to cut him off

“Bitch, my parents got tickets. Besides, my godfather invited us.”

“Who’s your godfather?”

and cue the silence

“I’m not allowed to say.”

“W H O .”

it goes from this to you deflecting the topic until you decide to bring up your test.

he knows you’re trying to change the topic, but he’s going along with it. he’s been there before.

you start spewing out random facts, both to keep his mind from going back to anything Marvel-related and so you can see how much you remembered from last night’s study session

for the most part, it works.

Joel’s listening to you talk about facts, and every now and then he’d interject with a question, to which you quickly launch into an explanation that spawns even more questions from him

and so you two talk through the next two alarms you set, with you explaining concepts that would probably (hopefully please please please) show up on the test later

“You think I’m going to pass?”

“Hey, if I understood that because you managed to explain it to me, I’m pretty sure you have nothing to worry about.”

“Yeah, unless it doesn’t show up on the test.”

“… Don’t jinx yourself.”

you two hang up around the same time, and you’re in a considerably good mood considering he called you to ask how you managed to be at the Infinity War premiere

also it’s shocking how you two didn’t sass each other much during it

come to think of it, what time was it there when he called?

meh, you’ll figure out later. right now, you have to get ready for school, and that uniform tie isn’t going to tie itself.

#privateschoollife

ANYWAY, you get to school and shit, breeze through most of your classes until last period

DUN DUN DUN

test time

you’re shaking with nerves bc the teacher for this one is notorious for giving college-level tests to his AP classes

and even if he’s been your teacher for the past three years, you’re still terrified of failing any of his tests

but one look at the questions had you breathing a sigh of relief.

those were the things you explained to Joelito! you were going to pass!

ngl, you nyoom through the multiple choice questions and double check your math for the ones that need calculations

once school lets out for the day, you find a nice, secluded area near the botanical garden (again, private school feels) so you could call Joel and tell him you’ve got a good chance of passing the test

but when he picks up he sounds groggy af

oh, how the tables have turned

but you’re sympathetic bc he needs to look pretty; his face is one of his main selling points after all

“Hi, sorry I woke you, but I think I’m definitely gonna pass. Thanks for a while ago, bye, love you dude! Get some more sleep!”

how you managed to say that in one breath, no one has any idea.

meanwhile Joel’s just staring at his phone in confusion before realizing you thanked him for helping you recall what you studied

you two didn’t acknowledge the “love you” that got dropped in that quick, minute-long call and you never will

later that night, he calls you again because he saw another picture of you at a Marvel premiere

and this time, you two sass each other until you fall asleep

sass buddies til the end of the line

unlike Steve and Bucky BC THE END OF THE LINE WAS APPARENTLY A CHANCE TO TIME TRAVEL

anyway

it’s back to your regular, sassy program with (Y/N) and Joel. except for when tests come along, especially midterms and finals.

you two have late night calls just for him to help you study

Erick Brian Colon:

after a bit of shifting around in your bed so you can comfortably nestle in your blankets, you finally drift off to sleep, dreaming of getting an Academy Award in the future

as you were about to accept said award, the dream gets shattered when the fucking Guachineo begins to play

along with the shattering of that dream (because damn it, it’s been a near constant goal since you were a kid) comes a rude awakening not even thirty minutes after you fell asleep

as much as you loved Erick (PLATONICALLY), you were going to throttle him, pretty eyes or not

at least, that was the plan until you hear his voice

who knew someone could sound so shaken up over the phone?

okay that was rude and insensitive af but you weren’t expecting this

he literally sounded like he was about to cry, and damn it, this was the baby! this was little bebito Erick on the phone sounding like he’s about to cry and you’re not going to hang up on him.

to be fair, you wouldn’t hang up on any of your friends, but least of all Erick.

so in the sleepy voice you swore never to let anyone but the rest of your squad hear, you yawn out a “Que pasa?”

he’s practically sniffling, and even if he doesn’t quite want you to hear him cry, you’re one of the first people he thought to call, especially since the guys were out at the club 

“Extraño a mi familia,” he admits, voice shaking and you just want to wrap the guy in a blanket and cuddle him.

sure you don’t really get homesick much since you don’t live far from your parents, but it’s a wholly different thing for Erick

for one thing, he has a tight bond with his family. for another, he was what, 14 or 15 when CNCO was formed. it was probably the first time he was away from them for a long period of time, and sometimes, it didn’t get easier to bear with the passage of time

“No llora, bebito.” You’re trying to comfort him and all but you’re not exactly the best person to go to when you need emotional support. Hell, you can barely support yourself emotionally.

which brings you to the question: why me

and why when you had a quiz the next day

but this was Erick. not only was he your fellow group baby, but he was little bebito as well

you’re not about to let him be upset like this, not when you could do something about it

one problem though: you have no idea what to do about it. nice.

thankfully, he keeps talking.

as it turns out, it’s not just homesickness he’s dealing with

it’s also the pressure he puts on himself to be as good as the rest of the guys are

to be as charming as Chris, as good of a dancer as Richard, as intellectual as Joel and Zabdiel

and suddenly, you get where he’s coming from. mostly

it’s like an inferiority complex, but also, not really

as the youngest, you two had the most to prove

you two had the most expectations ahead of you

so it’s natural that you’ll end up pressuring yourselves to meet and exceed those expectations

now you know what to do, BUT you don’t know what to say

“It’s okay to feel like that, bebito,” you start, sitting up and pulling your knees to your chest. “Pero you need to remember that you don’t have to be like them. Dejaste de competir con otros when you guys won La Banda. Now, the only competition you need to worry about is yourself, si?”

you really want to baby him, especially with how soft and watery his voice sounds over the phone, but you know he’s not going to like it

as the youngest, you two end up being babied by those who know you as a member of your respective groups

and it gets annoying after some time because you just want to be treated like an adult

so you’re not going to baby him completely

you kind of stick to a soft voice the whole time you two talk

and when you feel a yawn coming on, you muffle it with your hand bc you don’t want him to feel bad

it takes a while before you ask how he’s feeling

but when he says that he’s feeling better, you immediately feel relieved

not just bc this meant you’ll be able to sleep soon, but bc it meant he wasn’t as upset anymore

a crying and upset friend always made your heart sad, but a crying and upset Erick? you were half-tempted to book a flight to wherever they were and give him a hug, exam be damned

“Gracias mucho, nena.”

“You promise you’re okay now?”

“Si. Good night, (Y/N).”

Yawn. “Good night, bebito.”

so you go back to sleep, then wake up when your alarms go off

the school day passes by in a blur, but you’re hurrying to go home bc you wanted to check in on him via FaceTime

so you do, but he doesn’t pick up

instead you just leave him a message in his voicemail

hopefully he listens to it bc as his fellow group baby, he needed to know that you were gonna be there for him when he can’t share stuff with the other guys

literally though, he’s the only one to always bring out your soft side.

but at least you love the dork.

[hyperdrivehearts]

Headcanon time! Would Yusei or Kalin want to adopt kids of their own? What are their favorite types of movies and shows? Are there hobbies or skills you can imagine them wanting to learn other than mechanics and dueling? What kinds of things do they like and dislike eating?

- Would Yusei or Kalin want to adopt kids of their own?

As of right now, in my mainverse canon, Yusei and Kalin don’t particularly want any kids; mostly because neither really know what they want out of life just yet (as long as they’re with each other tbqh.) So, for the time being they’re content with their four cats.

Although Yusei has the tendency to become a father or elder brother to literately any child he comes across, it would still be something he’d severely discuss with Kalin– and he does! (thank god these two have good communication with each other post canon.) They both would want kids..eventually, just not anytime soon because they’re still young, and because of Kalin’s mental health.

Even post canon, Kalin’s mental health is still kinda shitty– although he has made a ton of progress since he first joined Team 5Ds, having a therapist and he is on medication, it still isn’t the best to be in the spot of taking care of someone… bigger than a cat. There are days where Kalin’s really only gets out of bed to feed the cats or use the washroom, even with Yusei by his side. Yusei doesn’t force Kalin to do anything he doesn’t want to do, and just wants to make sure the other is doing okay. (He’ll close Stardust Mechanics in a heartbeat to take care of Kalin, ok?)

Kalin knows that days like those would inevitably impact his ability to care for a child, he can’t take “me days” because it affects the kid, and Kalin really, really, really wants to be the best the best version of himself possible when they do have a kid around.

Yusei and Kalin have probably also looked into surrogacy, at the suggestion of Akiza (since she is studying to become a doctor afterall,) and would also consider looking into that as an option.

HOWEVER, that all being said, in my thread with Moon’s (burningalma) Takeru, in their 5Ds verse, Kalin does befriend Takeru because of cats and we have joked that Takeru kinda just moves in of his own accord because of said cats. lets be honest knowing me and my love for found family kalin n yus are probably gonna adopt him

IN ANOTHER AU ENTIRELY ON DISCORD, Kalin and Yusei are the super cool dads of Moon’s and Kasa’s (soulburnings) Takeru’s and its nothing but slice of life and the Takeru’s being little shits and its the BEST thing since sliced bread (maybe one day we’ll actually have a thread on tumblr instead of screaming in DMs.)

I’ll be putting the rest of the headcanons under the cut!!

- What are their favorite types of movies and shows?

Neither of the two tend to watch movies or shows. Kalin as a whole feels very disconnected from pop culture, because he was dead for so long (four years is a pretty fair amount of time when you’re in your early 20s,) and generally feels disconnected from society as a whole as a result of it. 

For Kalin, there’s also the issue of his ADHD coming into play if he’s not engaged enough by the movie, he’ll have the tendency to just,, zone out and think of other things as it’s playing, and when he tunes in the story has moved so far along already he doesn’t see a point in getting back into it.

Yusei is a workaholic, and I don’t think he’s physically capable of sitting down and actually watching a movie, unless it’s the once-a-month movie night with the rest of Team 5Ds where they all squish themselves onto the couches and floor, but he definitely puts the television on when he’s working and radio isn’t enough background noise, only paying attention occasionally.

Even so, they both have their preferences on what to watch and/or to listen to. I’m 99% sure they’d both like action packed superhero movies, and Yusei probably got Kalin into watching mystery thrillers with him. Kalin definitely enjoys cooking shows, mostly because he is the one of the two of them to cook. Yusei would enjoy those fixer upper shows– like Holmes Does It Right or any show which renovates a neglected historical building (Yusei also fucking loves cheesy romcoms and will get Kalin to sit down with him for them.)

One genre they’d both probably avoid would be horror. Kalin definitely used to love the genre with his whole heart back before he first died, but after the whole shtick with the Dark Signers, I don’t think he can physically digest it anymore– it brings back too many bad memories, especially when the horror movie in question deals with graphic murder and manslaughter, he can’t help but think of when he almost killed Yusei and laughed about it. (Although most horror movies make Yusei uncomfortable typically as he just doesn’t like seeing people in pain, real or not, he’s nowhere near the levels of distressed that Kalin is.)

And with Ccapac Apu’s spirit still residing in Kalin, I’m sure you can imagine all the nasty thoughts that would arise as a result.

- Are there hobbies or skills you can imagine them wanting to learn other than mechanics and dueling?

Of course!! I briefly mentioned it earlier in the last section, and in some other posts, but my Kalin enjoys cooking and baking! It’s something he learned from his mom, who died when he was fairy young, so it’s definitely something he keeps close to his heart. (Much like cooking, his mom taught him how to dance as well and he ended up teaching Yusei when they were Enforcers, so it’s something they still do! Unfortunately Yusei has a harder time catching onto cooking.)

After seeing his therapist for the first couple of sessions, it was suggested that Kalin should keep a book of some kind to write or draw in about what he’s feeling, so he’s have some sort of outlet. (Yusei was the one to really push the idea.) Kalin took up doodling and drawing as a result, and genuinely enjoys doing it (he’s not that good yet and is still early on in the learning process.)

After dueling and mechanics, Yusei’s hobbies tend to be very quiet. He likes reading and going for drives on his runner that don’t really end up anywhere in particular (he LOVES to travel and explore new places, especially more so since Satellite is reunited with New Domino, so he actually can.) I can definitely see him getting possibly into photography (and taking a ton of pictures of Kalin as a result lol,) and as left field as it is, I can see him getting interested in crocheting and knitting SOLELY so he can make sweaters for their cats and maybe hats for Leo and Luna.

The only “not quiet” hobby I can also see him getting into is probably learning the drums, but that’s deadass me projectin since I’m a drummer with a soft spot for band AU’s.

- What kinds of things do they like and dislike eating?             

Yusei, by all means, is not a picky eater at all. He’ll basically shut up and eat whatever is given to him, even if it doesn’t taste good at like, all. It’s a lasting effect of trying to survive in Satellite. I can see him liking either savory foods, or very sweet foods with nothing in between– I don’t think he has a favorite food?

Kalin on the other hand, is a lot pickier with his foods– won’t eat certain kinds of vegetables (I can see him hating beets) or other foods unless it’s cooked a certain way. It works out, because Kalin is the one that does the cooking anyways and ranks Kalin’s food just below Martha’s (Kalin and Martha probably do exchange recipes because I can see Kalin trying to make something Yusei enjoyed as a kid for his birthday or something.) His favorite food is probably homemade ice cream, using canned coconut milk, as it’s something his mom made him a lot when she was alive, since whole milk isn’t readily available and cans are much easier to store.

Coincidentally, as you can probably tell, Yusei and Kalin BOTH have big sweet tooths and agree wholeheartedly that the best time of year is sakura season in April, where everything becomes pink and sweet. Although they try to save their money up, they’ll occasionally splurge and go on a shopping trip to raid anything in the supermarket that’s remotely sweet and/or sugary, which when Crow and Jack were living with the two of them, it would often result in Crow getting angry at Jack and calling him a bad influence.

[ixeliema]

Okay this is going to be pretty personal and potentially triggering so I'm leaving that here at the top. I'm going to be discussing depression and self harm here and I will tag accordingly. I will not be specific or speak of it in detail because a lot of people read posts like these at their lowest points and it does nothing but hurt already very troubled people to read.

These bubbles are covering an injury I inflicted upon myself at work today after my manager called me in to a meeting with him to speak about the amount of missed days of work I'd taken in the last two-three weeks.

How it happened doesn't matter. The only context you need for it is that I missed four days due to a contagious illness and one day due to a stomach bug that had me physically unable to leave the bathroom. I work long hours and in my store's home department. I work hard and never do things 80% or lower at work and it's exhausting at times.

Well...yesterday I had a panic attack that lasted for almost four hours and knew I couldn't work in this state. I had been curling into a ball, screaming, sobbing, (tw) pulling my hair.

I called in and my manager told me we'd need to talk about my missed days. Fine. I accept that. Today I dreaded the inevitable call back and when it happened he told me that two of my customers had filed complaints on me within two days last week.

One I will admit is justified. He was talking about gun issues and complaining that retail stores should sell guns, meanwhile I am from a college that was shot up and I am fucking terrified of guns. I don't mind not selling them. Especially in light of El Paso recently.

The other was a lady who noticed I was sweaty and tired after having to manually enter her discounts for about 25 apparel items because her digital coupon wasn't ringing right and it was a system issue. I had an injury between my fingers at the time and all the typing to fix the prices was pulling apart my scab and I had begun to bleed through my bandage. At the end of the transaction, she made eye contact with me and asked "I'm sorry...are you IRRITATED with me?" I don't remember exactly what I said but I said something like "no ma'am I'm bleeding". Well apparently 'no' means I'm still a bitch who needed reported to her manager.

The first...fine. I was out of line there. I shouldn't have let him goad me on. But the second pisses me off. Not happy because three strikes on my record is cause for termination due to disregard for customer satisfaction. This sucks a lot. But then my manager talks about my missed days and why they happened. I mentioned my sicknesses and cited a literal rule (if you are contagious or having issues with bodily fluids don't come in" at him. Yesterday I told him my situation. I was unable to breathe. See. Anything. I cited my mental illness and told him it was very bad yesterday. He kind of brushed me off. (Which in itself fucking infuriates me bc mental health isn't a goddamn joke!)

Then he told me to evaluate myself and whether or not this job is right for me. I also have a physical injury and I require a brace. Even with it sometimes I have sore days and pain that I can't control due to walking about four to five miles a day at work. It sucks but with the brace I can survive. I need this job to live after all, and I don't mind the coworkers or the job itself. It just sucks when I'm working 48 hours in a row with a lot of mental and physical barriers to my success.

He told me to my face that if I didn't feel I was capable of doing the job to quit. And then he told me he needed someone "more reliable" for the position because of the business' needs.

I kind of broke at that point. And I blacked out into a relapse of my self harm after the meeting was through. I pride myself on two things: my sense of humor even in dark times (comes with the territory of mental illness), and the fact that I strive to be reliable. My manager telling me to my face that I wasn't reliable broke me.

See I would be more understanding if he hadn't just told me that five of my six missed days were perfectly acceptable. But after he learned of the last one amd why he kind of shifted gears. And I hated it very much.

He's worked for x corporation nearly 20 years and no one will question his authority. He works hard and is pretty good with his workers. Honestly he's a little sexist and clearly doesn't think mental illnesses are a big deal, but he's good at what he does. So hearing an authority figure (the type of person I've learned to fear because I'm never good enough) tells me I'm not one of the qualities I fucking FIGHT for...I broke.

But this story isn't why I wanted to post it. Yeah I could rant about the rude manager and the customers and that dumb "customer is always right" mentality (which they could prove wrong if they just looked up the security footage for the rude lady!)

No I'm here because when I got home from working 2-11...bordering tears and panic all day and sweatier than anyone living in Arizona right now...I hopped in the bath for a soak and to give myself time to heal from the long arduous day.

My mind has been full of intrusive thoughts about my worth and how I broke my streak of being clean from self harm and how that makes me a coward. That kind of joyous stuff.

I sat up to get my phone to text my friend and saw that my knee (where my injury is) was covered in bubbles.

I don't know why...but that means a lot to me right now. Like...I'm taking care of myself after probably the worst day I've had since my dad died. I'm taking time to heal. I'm trying to pick up the pieces of my soul after a long and painful day. And it felt like for a moment, the universe understood that looking at my wound hurt me as much as the wound itself hurt. It wanted me to not dwell on it.

Obviously this isn't a magic "I'm no longer depressed" moment but for me, seeing the bubbles...a sign (at least to me) of trying to take care of myself masking the pain of my depression and anxiety.

Today has been a very tough day for me with a lot of manic episodes and a lot of depressive ones, and though I can wear the face that I'm okay...it cracked a lot today and I let my ugly side seep out. And seeing the bubbles covering my wound I deadass cried about it, y'all.

This tells me that even on your worst days, taking care of yourself and trying to find time to recover can help you to heal. And I wanted to post this because I think this story might help someone. Even just one person. Maybe even just myself someday when out of the blue I check my (very small) tag for original posts.

The TLDR of this is that this occurence kind of showed me that taking care of yourself...even in tiny, seemingly insignificant ways, can really help you to not dwell on pain as much.

And before someone hijacks this and says this won't apply to everyone...I know. But I hope someone sees this image of bubbles on a goddamn kneecap and thinks to themselves that they ought to take better care of themselves after a bad day. After a relapse. After feeling so defeated you considered suicide. Consider healing. Consider trying to help yourself, even just in one small way.

That's about all I have to say other than "fuck I work the next three days and I'm not stoked to go fake a smile as a cashier for 27 more hours even if I'm being paid"

[andyaliao]

11/25/18

All my life I’ve grown up with some random ass skin conditions that like .1% of the global population get and highkey it fucking sucks. It’s super cold rn n my body’s breaking out in hives n I gotta be esp careful of what I put in my body. For the most part, I’ve accepted that my body is just a lot more sensitive than other’s and that probably for the rest of my life, I’ll live with these skin conditions n more, but some days like these I just get so fed up. As I’m typing this out, there are hives all over my body and I’m waiting for meds to kick in and I’M OVER IT. I’m not sad but just annoyed LOOOL. I thought my skin was doing well...

I’m jealous of people who have good health who could wear whatever the hell they want and eat whatever the hell they want and not really have to worry about shit like getting hives all over their bodies. I think being healthy above all else is one of the greatest gifts in the world because if you’re sick all the time or you’re taking meds all the time or you’re always going to the hospital, it really takes away from other things that you could be doing with your life. This is why when I see people not caring for their health (sleeping late n skipping meals) I get concerned bc I’ve experienced my health deteriorating as a result of neglecting my own health and I wouldn’t want that to happen to anyone esp not to the people that I love.

Also, on a side note, two songs that I really vibe w rn are:

Louis the Child’s “Better Not” (You’re happier than I’ve ever seen you) bc its true

Brockhampton’s “San Marcos” (Suicide thoughts but I won’t do it) deadass but not rly anymore bc fuck those thoughts

That’s it for now...I really enjoyed my break this past week, mostly because I got to see my brother whom I never see and spend time with my immediate family. I love my family so much and with my brother’s presence there, it felt whole again. My family was never really big on Thanksgiving feasts. Maybe once or twice we’ve done a big dinner with all my cousins but that was years ago...Before I would get jealous seeing families get together and have huge feasts but I’m not anymore bc just being with my family is more than enough bc I don’t see them often. My mom’s the same as always, always asking if I need more money for food and clothes. My dad’s the same as always, always saying that for me he would do anything. N my brother’s mostly the same (I would say he’s a better version of himself now). I got to spend time with high school friends too and my brother’s pbro from Lambdas LOOL and he’s hella cool which is nice. Overall, I’m in a pretty good mood despite having shitty skin and I’m hoping that my gammas are doing well too. I’m just starting to use Tumblr again so I’m not caught up with all the posts but I just wanted to say that there are no other people in this world like you guys. I love you guys to the moon n back and this past break I wanted to let each one of you guys know that I’m so damn thankful and grateful that you guys came into my life n that I mean it. 

[jejublr]

boyfriend!s.coups

A/N: I am baaaack. I’m sorry this took so long :( Exam is coming up next week and the last weeks have been a flurry of exams and projects in need to finish! I’m going on an exam hiatus next week but meanwhile, here’s another boyfriend!seventeen, starring our very own Most Boyfriend-able leader, Choi Seungcheol!!!

so much pda omg

and we saw it coming but Cheol is probably one of the biggest cuddlers

like oh my gOD is this guy clingy

he’d absentmindedly play with your hair during cuddle sessions

can’t stop touching you in any way

I mean, control yourself, Cheol, there are kids in here

the worst times were always ones when he got sick he get so clingy and wHINY

“y/n, I’m hungry.”

“y/n, it’s too cold.”

“y/n, it hurtsss,”

“and what do you want me to do?”

“kiss me :(”

greasy, I tell you

#1 supporter of backhugs

you be casually standing when you suddenly feel arms around you and you’re like

“Seungcheol..”

“hmm?”

he’d rest his head on yours and just sway side by side

and honestly it’s so warm and it felt secure and you wouldn’t ask for anything more

fathers you without realizing

sends you texts at night asking you if you’re home and safe

kisses the top of your hair as he puts his arms on your shoulders

always finding the time to pick you up from class/work

holds your hand with the other on the steering wheel as he drives you around

“Cheol, you’re going to crash us.”

he tries to stop doing it bc he doesn’t want anything to happen to you

still finds himself doing it from time to time tho

brags about you to the members and his friends

everyone and their grandma knows you bc of he couldn’t stop talking about you lmao

DINNER DATES!!!

OR JUST EATING OUT GENERALLY!!!

bc Seungcheol loves seeing you eating well and healthily

always giving you the last piece of food during a meal

“eat up. you should take care of your health.”

also pls bring back his cheeks and his dimples I miss them :(

also this greaseball would probably order one drink just so he could share it with you

but hold the thought that he’d be the smooth greaseball, bc THAT’S A LIE

if you’re being bold and you decide to come up to his face as you drink from your straw, he’d die

like, come on, this guy is a teenage school girl at heart

but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t has his fair share of moments where you just want to shout “CHOI SEUNGCHEOOOOLLLLL”

ARCADE DATES!! BC DDR!!

this guy will deadass challenge you at DDR thinking that he’d win

GETS COMPETITIVE AS F like calm yo tits Cheol, geez

“hey, aren’t you supposed to let me win every once in a while?!”

him: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ok but he (kinda) does it because you look cute looking angry like that

plus, loser gotta do whatever the winner tells them to do so he gets to use it at his own advantage

like maybe, a kiss? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

will call foul and ask for a rematch if you win

sometimes insists that he did it on purpose bc he “feels bad.”

but will never let you hear the end of it when he wins lol

it’s a lose-lose situation so you usually just try to avoid playing games with this one

also: going to the grocery store with him would be such an event tbh

like, have you seen the pic of him carrying two grocery baskets in the supermarket?

dad material™ 

idk but I just see him as the one who get sent on grocery runs if Mingyu can’t

like Mingyu, he’d know what everyone likes by heart

“oh, get the onion rings, Dino loves them.”

“no, we don’t need carrots. Jeonghan doesn’t like it.”

but would probably buy more than what he actually needs bc he gets sidetracked

he’s not afraid of talking about the future with you bc honestly? 

he couldn’t imagine one if it’s not you by his side

would probably start naming his future kids early

“no, Cheol, we’re not getting a child-leash.”

“but it would be so cute!”

“YOUR CHILD ISN’T A DOG.”

CHEESY AF OMG

will insist holding the umbrella when it rains

“uhm, Cheol, it’s not even raining that hard.”

“leT ME HAVE THIS.”

honestly, Jeonghan would fight you

speaking of Jeonghan, you guys would actually get along really well

sometimes the three of you would hang out and you can clearly see the chemistry between those two and how they care so much about each other and it really is something to witness

sometimes you even question who’s dating who at some point because they could get so lovey dovey with each other lmao

like, if you go out to have dinner and they’re sitting beside each other and Cheol would have one of his arm around Jeonghan and you’d be like

“uhm excuse me, Mr Choi, am I interrupting a moment? :)’

but you don’t mind because you both know that you’re just joking and it’s super important to him if his s/o get along well with his members

gets super soft if he sees you play along with the other guys and take care of them

istg you’re like the mom of the group now

you’d sometimes bring food for the members but not too often bc feeding thirteen people is not good for your wallet

you having to remind him to take care of himself, too and not to worry too much bc he’s a great leader

he tends to overthink and sometimes, he need someone to just wind him down, take a breather, relax a little

I feel like he’s the type to not to talk about his problems until you prompt and probe him a little

then his facade would break and he’d tell you everything

he’d be forever grateful whenever you sit down and listen to him as he rambles on about his day and his problems

but he’d like it if you trust him enough to lean on him, too

he won’t hesitate to go through your struggles together with you, to be there for you

you guys would definitely be the power couple so please take care of our kind and selfless leader Choi Seungcheol because he cares so much for everyone and it’s about time someone give back to him

Other Boyfriend!Seventeen

S.Coups | Joshua | Jeonghan | Jun | Hoshi | Wonwoo | Woozi | DK | Mingyu | The8 | Seungkwan | Vernon | Dino