#he was very offended

[thepasteldyke]

KeeKee comforting Lucifer the way one of my cats (Kalma) comforts me sometimes

[thenewgirl76]

Taking advantage of Constantine's tendency to zone out during debriefings, Danny sneaks up on him from behind while invisible and goes eldritch abomination before becoming visible.

Danny: JOHN CONSTANTINE! I'VE COME FOR YOUR PITIFUL SOUL!

Constantine: BLOODY HELL!

*magic blasts Danny, knocking him to the floor and causing him to revert to his normal ghost form*

Constantine: You miserable little brat! I told you to cut that shite out!

*lying on the floor wheezing in both pain and laughter*

Danny: I regret nothing

The rest of the JL and JLD members either snicker in amusement or shake their head in disappointment.

[russilton]

Incase anyone needed a casual reminder that Norris is an utter asshole.

If you hear that drivers were sick and your first response is to be mad about them admitting it, you are an ass

[keferon]

*clasps your shoulders gently and looks you straight in the eye*

Keferon. Please read Ninth by Kyn on AO3. I think you would love it very much. It has a large chapter count, but don't be intimidated, it's very easy to get into. It is currently unfinished, but is being updated regularly.

You are the seventh person that recommended this fic to me so ahahahaha yeah

I’m doing great Help I hate some parts of it but I love the other parts I’m spinning in the blender

…..I made the moodboard….

[fuctacles]

That deal with the devil/fae post where they want the summoner's first born in exchange, and the summoner goes "ok when do we start" BUT STEDDIE WITH STEVIE

She hasn't given up on that 6 nuggets dream but it's became quadruple hard now that she's transitioning, both because of dating and the technical stuff. So she figures, I'll ask a magical being for the right plumbing and it'll all be smooth(er) sailing from there.

Eddie the Banished is the demon, and he's like "of course sweetheart, but I get dibs on the first off spring".

And Stevie gets all red and stuttery at first but she is desperate and she figures, the sooner the better, and since he's already here and offering, she asks "Would you want to do all six?"

[ultravioletbrit]

“test” - Jegulus microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - 244 words

“Hey!” Sirius says when Regulus and James get home. “How did it go?”

“Really well! I think I’m ready.” Regulus tells him.

“Really?” Sirius asks skeptically.

“Yes, Sirius. I’ll be fine.” Regulus rolls his eyes and turns to James. “Will you tell him?” He throws an aggravated hand towards Sirius.

James’ eyes go wide, and he looks nervously from Sirius to Regulus and back again as he rubs the back of his neck.

“Uhh… well, he did… better…” James says cautiously.

“See!” Regulus gives Sirius a haughty look. 

“James?” Sirius asks.

“Umm… well…” James starts, eyeing Regulus warily. “He only ran one stop sign today… and only hit the curb twice. And no trees… ‘came out of nowhere’.” James uses air quotes. “So, it was an improvement, but I still think… umm... maybe a few more days of practice before you take the test.” James says tentatively.

Regulus huffs and crosses his arms over his chest as he glares at James.

“You’ll get there, love. Just need more practice.” James tries to appease him with a kiss then starts to slowly back out of the room.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Regulus narrows his eyes at him.

“I…umm… need to go talk to Mr. Jenkins about his mailbox.” James says awkwardly.

“What happened to his mailbox?” Sirius asks.

James grimaces and Sirius raising a questioning eyebrow at Regulus.

“Fine!” Regulus throws his hands up. “Maybe one more day of practice.” He says and stomps out of the room.

[jessmalia]

CLUELESS (1995) dir. Amy Heckerling

[puppetmaster13u]

Hear Me Out

Yokai Amity. What are yokai? Japanese spirits. And not just ghosts, a majority of mythical creatures? Yokai.

So how did this happen? Well, like most things, it can be blamed on the ghost portal in the Fenton Basement. And a lot of ecto contamination. Because while they're a small city? They're also in the middle of nowhere, meaning a lot of their foods and crops, they grow themselves. And the ectoplasm? Started sinking into the ground first. Y'know, where every plant grows and then both humans and animals proceed to eat it? Made even worse when those like Overgrowth or Vortex came through? Yeaah, it'd be a miracle if they didn't get contaminated and no surprise that most don't notice their humanity slipping with time with how it's happening to everyone.

Which kind of makes the situation Danny has found himself kind of hilarious? At least to him. The trenchcoat dude seems to be having an aneurism or something similar.

"So... not a meta?" the tiny vigilante child clarified again, head tilting from where he stood at the head of his group. Honestly Danny was enjoying this from his place sprawled across the park bench Honestly Amity had spoiled him with benches designed for extra limbs.

The blonde man seemed absolutely done with everything, hands twitching as though about to cradle his head in his hands or grab something. "No," he wasn't shouting but it was close. "For fuck's sake- your all lucky not to be cursed or worse-" He turned towards Danny. "Why the fuck didn't you?"

The hainu shrugged, wings doing more of the motion than the rest of him. "They're babies-" Or at least one of them was, borderline liminal as they were. "You play along with toddlers." Honestly he saw why his old rogues found this fun, even if he'd never go as far as they did.

The entire team of vigilante children bristled, one opening their mouth to protest before trenchcoat-soul-dude glared at them all before turning back towards him.

"Though what the fuck do you need that for that you'd steal it- not that any artifact like that should be in a bloody museum and not locked away where idiots can't get to it."

He snorted, the sound more dog-like. Or really more yeti-like, what with how he was taking lessons from Frostbite which meant large chunks of time in the Far Frozen.

"Technically I don't need it, my kid does," Danny held up a finger, marveling slightly at the clouds. It was quite different compared to Amity, what with how everywhere was so ecto-infused that the sky was effected.

"And what does a hainu need with-" the trenchcoat man motioned to the cursed object, which honestly wasn't that bad. But...

"Oh no, he's not a hainu, he's furaribi." Danny honestly wasn't surprised that Jordan wouldn't turn out the same as he, de-aged or not. Not that he was memory-less or anything, cores didn't lose that easily, but he did still have the physical brain of a child.

"Adopted?"

"Nope," he hummed, going over the list of things he still had to do today before returning to Amity. Sam had asked him to get a few more flowers to test how ecto would effect them and he had to pick up some computer parts for Tuck.

"How the fuck."

"My sister's a kitsune, my other sister is a shirouneri, my mom is a shishi, my dad a baku, godfather's an itachi, my boyfriend a raiju, my girlfriend a kirin, and my other girlfriend a yosuzume," he ticked off his fingers, not seeing anything wrong with it. Not like people could get into Amity easily after the whole GIW thing.

"... what the fuck does your family tree look like, mate, because that should be bloody impossible."

Danny shrugged, giving a sharp toothed smile. Yeah, the realms didn't care about that with how malleable ecto was.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(In case it's not clear: Hainu Danny, Furaribi Dan, Kitsune Jazz, Shirouneri Danny, Lion Dog Maddie, Baku Jack, Itachi Vlad, Raiju Tucker, Kirin Sam & Yosuzume Valerie) (Also feel free to come up with what everyone else might be) (Highly recommend yokai.com for a quick summary of each creature)

[nelkcats]

Winter in Spring

Danny was not a spirit of the seasons, he didn't have any idea if those kinds of spirits existed out of movies, what he did know was that for some reason the flowers were behaving rather strangely in one particular dimension right at the beginning of spring. And although he certainly didn't want to affect the place he knew he had to investigate it.

From what it seemed: strange plants that glowed just like those born in the Infinite Realms were appearing in Gotham and coming to life on their own. At first he suspected Undergrowth but the Ancient was offended by the accusation and commented that he was too busy in his haunt to care about a random city. Which turned out to be true.

Then he thought that maybe it was fine: the bright flowers seemed harmless (although they were very very...alive?) and didn't hurt anyone. That was until a red-haired girl seemed to upset them and they started attacking everyone around them; unfortunately, because they were ghost flowers they could dodge attacks very easily and the "heroes" couldn't defend themselves.

So, with no other options Danny traveled to Gotham and well, to put it simply he became a fake winter spirit; what else was he supposed to do? He needed an alibi and to spread ice as quickly as possible. Telling Gothamites that winter was coming early because of him was the least of his problems.

What he didn't expect was that after turning the city into a wasteland of ice and snow (and saving them from the invasion of ghost flowers, you're welcome), some guys in bat suits would start following him around with questions. He also didn't expect one of them to stare at him and ask if he'd be back in winter, he wondered if faking his identity was a good idea.

[belbel19]

arthur pendragon is the first "where my hug at" guy to ever exist

[epicqtefail]

Last chance Connor! (it took me 50 billion playthroughs to notice the key is in the same spot he'd parked his ass moments before)

[technically-human]

So (this might be a dumb question) was Charles sacrificed to a demon by his friends, and was Edwin stoned by his bullies??

Not a dumb question at all!

Yes, that's what happened. Charles died tried to protect the Pakistani boy, and was sacrificed in his place. As he went to Hell for his efforts, he came out a lot more selfish and cold. He's not making that kind of sacrifice again (well, except for one specific boy...)

(That's what he tells himself, anyway. But Charles is a good person, even in this universe)

Edwin was murdered by Simon and his friends. Simon was known to torment Edwin, but he went too far that time, and by the time he realized they were maybe doing something genuinely dangerous, he wasn't brave enough to stop the group. Luckily for him, the police didn't look too much into it, and most people who knew him thought he died due to AIDS.

[not-another-robin]

Every year on Halloween Dick somehow manages to dress Alfred the cat as Alfred the person

[galaxy-shapeshifter]

Timbern identity reveal, but in the most sitcom-y way possible.

Red Robin was injured on a lighter young justice mission, just a twisted ankle, but Kon didn't have anywhere else to be, so the kryptonian delivery service flew RR over to his murder boathouse.

He got Tim onto the couch, and helped him out of the top layers of his costume.

Meanwhile Bernard Dowed decided that breaking into his boyfriend's house at dawn to set up the place and make him a romantic breakfast was the best start to their 1 year dating anniversary, and as he opened the door, he was greeted with the suspicious sight of shirtless Tim sitting alone in the living room.

Whatever. Hey babe, what are you doing awake? I just wanted to surprise you. Let me put the bags down, and get you a shirt.

And that's how Bernard was greeted with the sight of Kon-el hiding in Tim's closet like a guilty side piece.

And Bernard's first question was "babe, why is superman in your closet?"

[aro-in-danyl]

Alastor as a "Gift from God" AU

Inspired by the TV Show Lucifer. I could not get this idea out of my head so into the tumblr void it goes.

Edit: PART 2 up now.

----------------------

Sera could count on one hand the number of times the Almighty personally called for her. And every single one before was the precursor to some disaster or threat.

She was confused when she was beckoned past the throne room, away from the meeting rooms, and into the Almighty's workshop. There was no dust or cobwebs for God would not allow it, but it was known among the higher-ups that The Almighty had not had the motivation for creation in eons.

"The screams of the damned awoke me today," God's many hands reached out from their ineffable form to grasp jars and potions of dubious origins.

Sera stiffened. "I thought you could not see into Lucifer's domain."

She had not dared to think she could hide the First Extermination from The Almighty's gaze but she'd hoped she have more time.

"Never before today have souls perished a second time." God collected more vials and instruments that Sera could not for the life of her understand the purpose of.

"Such fear," and they sounded sad, "over the birth of one child."

The Anti-Christ, Lucifer's daughter was more than just a simple baby. Her parents had hidden her for decades, but the change in their attitude was noticeable even before her existence was made known to heaven. Lucifer again grew bolder and more fanatical with his ideas and Lilith-

If they'd only known sooner.

Silence passed as God worked. Sera kept her head bowed so she could not see what was being created. But they did not demand she stop the exterminations, and that was enough for her to finally raise her head and peak at The Almighty's first creation in centuries.

A soul. Or what would become one soon enough.

Her curiosity finally broke through. "You have not crafted a soul by hand since-" She cut herself off. No need to push her luck.

"This soul is a gift." They said. And they began to spin the soul threads together, "They will be an equal. Unchanging. Dynamic. Static. Chaotic." With every word a new thread merged with the steadily-brightening soul.

"A defender. An assailant...An Avenger."

With the final word of God, the soul was finished. But, barring the confusion of all those conflicting traits, Sera was caught up on the first sentence of this new soul's purpose.

"A gift to who?"

God did not answer. But that left her with another more pressing question.

"The creation of a new soul is a breath-taking experience to witness," she began carefully, "But why have you called me here?"

In answer, God reached behind themselves to a corner that Sera had not paid attention to and pulled out the tip of a spear. One from Adam's exorcists.

She tensed as God held it up to the fragile new soul. Angelic steel was crafted solely to bring death to the damned. To souls. Was this her punishment? To bear witness to the creation of life, of potential goodness, only to watch it be snuffed out before it even had a chance?

God pressed the spear to the soul, "Your Exorcists should take heed," the spear stabbed into the soul and Sera couldn't help but cry out in despair. But the soul did not whither or fade. She watched as the spear tip was catapulted away at lightning speed, burying itself in the wall across from them.

"And avoid his attention."

[dudethatsmyundeaduncle]

Tim Drake is the kind of guy who pushes up his glasses anime style before bragging to you about his boyfriends sweet rack. (and when nobody believes him and he shows them a picture everyone says its AI cuz Kryptonians are Uncanny Valley pretty)