#he was the favorite but got such a poor ending
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arlakos · 9 hours ago
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Ok, so I saw this post earlier today and all I can say is that I love it!
That being said, we still don't have Adrien's profile yet, so until OP updates their AU, allow me to create a headcanon for what this version of Adrien would be like.
Character:
I would say that unlike canon, Adrien is a lot more "confident" in this AU. However, this is partially false: Adrien just fakes being more confident but it is still very insecure about meeting new people and making friends.
Adrien would be a lot more social in this AU. Since this version of Chloe seems more capable and more likely to be close friends with him, I reckon that Chloe KNOWS that Adrien is socially awkward, so instead of him watching anime as knowledge, she recommends him a lot of highschool movies to help get a good idea of how he should act. Still watches anime though occasionally. As a result, he is more socially capable.
His favorite movie is High School Musical, so Adrien kind of bases himself (partially) on Troy Bolton. Somehow he makes it work, despite acting a bit more American at times than French. It also make him a lot more approachable with American transfer students and with the NY school in the New York Special.
As a result of growing up with American highschool movies, Adrien likes basketball and plays it a lot. Somehow he was able to convince his father to replace his Chinese classes with basketball since he pretty much knew how to speak it fluently.
Also he's more buff. Not to the same level as Kim, but he's got that highschool hunk build as a result of wanting to be fit to be approachable. Suffice to say, he's got a lot more eyes on him than his canon counterpart, even though they both model.
Adrien has a lot more friends in this version, or at the very least associates himself with more people than his canon counterpart, so he isn't as close with Nino when it comes to friends. Which is good because holy hell Alya cannot stop trying to matchmake him and Marinette, and Marinette is just .... urgh.
Of course, Marinette would try to step in and stop these .... poor choices in friends ... but Adrien is immensely popular in his own right and is very likable, so Marinette can't do her usual strategies ... she would have to plan a way to make Adrien leave them voluntarily.
Adrien however, is oblivious to all this. He's a good kid and much more capable, but he is a bit oblivious like his canon counterpart when it comes to infatuations.
Adrien hates modeling, or at least treats it like a chore. He knows he is good at it, but doesn't like how it cuts into his school time or rest time. That being said, he does really want to do theatre as he's inspired by his role model Troy. This result in an an odd relationship with Lila, who also likes acting (entirely platonic though).
For the most part, Adrien has the same relationship with his father like he has in canon. Adrien is just a lot more ballsy with doing his own thing, partially because of Chloe's influence.
Adrien isn't a sentimonster fuck that noise. That being said, its very likely that magic plays a part in why the Agrestes were able to have Adrien
Of course, things would also change when Adrien becomes Chat Noir.
To put a story short ... Chat Noir hates Ladybug as much as Ladybug hates him. He helps to stop the akumas, but that's as far as their relationship goes. He did intially like her ... for about 1 akuma fight, now it would be on-sight if they didn't have to stop akumas.
Despite having to deal with Ladybug, he still really likes being Chat Noir, if only because he can transform and take to the rooftops when he feels like it.
Of course, things don't get better when the new heroes come aboard. Since they are all chosen by Ladybug, its safe to say that he doesn't get along with any of them.
In fact, the only miraculous wielder he gets along with is in fact the rouge hero who ends up finding the Bee Miraculous after Ladybug loses it. Although it means risking Ladybug and the team's ire, Chat Noir finds himself being friends with this newcomer ... and to be honest he does NOT care about Ladybug's opinion.
Chat Noir probably does a lot more "improptu" hero work outside of fighting akumas, such as helping stop robberies or helping a cat out of a tree. Just because he has to work with Ladybug doesn't mean he wants to stop being a hero.
AU based off a project I did for English class! And got an A on. (My professor watches MLB by the way, and has a Fox miraculous necklace!)
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My asks are off, so any questions you have, put ‘em in the replies or reblog
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hollowed-theory-hall · 3 days ago
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What do you think about Dumbledore giving Harry and co. so many points at the ending feast of the Philosopher's Stone? Do you think slytherin (and who I think are the poor first years) got cheated?
I mean, Harry deserved some house points for what he pulled off (even though he shouldn't have had to but it's not his fault Dumbledore built him an obstacle course), but yeah, I think they were cheated because of how Dumbledore did it. Yk?
It would've been one thing to give Harry and Co points in the week before school was over and Harry was in the hospital wing. Then everyone would've arrived at the Great Hall when it's clear Gryffindor won, that's fine, yk, happens, I'm not inherently against Harry and co + Neville getting these points. But making a whole spectacle of Slytherin winning and then snatching the victory away by giving Harry and Co + Neville just enough points to surpass Slytherin, yeah, that's a dick move on Dumbledore's part (not just for the first years, for all of the Slytherins).
Like, if we're talking favoritism practiced by Hogwarts faculty, this is definitely an act of Dumbledore showing disdain toward Slytherin. I mean, he 100% planned it to go down the way it did to spite the Slytherins and Snape:
“Yes, Yes, well done, Slytherin,” said Dumbledore. “However, recent events must be taken into account.” The room went very still. The Slytherins' smiles faded a little. “Ahem,” said Dumbledore. “I have a few last-minute points to dish out. Let me see. Yes… [...] Dumbledore raised his hand. The room gradually fell silent. “There are all kinds of courage,” said Dumbledore, smiling. “It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends. I therefore award ten points to Mr. Neville Longbottom.” Someone standing outside the Great Hall might well have thought some sort of explosion had taken place, so loud was the noise that erupted from the Gryffindor table. Harry, Ron, and Hermione stood up to yell and cheer as Neville, white with shock, disappeared under a pile of people hugging him. He had never won so much as a point for Gryffindor before. Harry, still cheering, nudged Ron in the ribs and pointed at Malfoy, who couldn’t have looked more stunned and horrified if he’d just had the Body-Bind Curse put on him. “Which means,” Dumbledore called over the storm of applause, for even Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff were celebrating the downfall of Slytherin, “we need a little change of decoration.” He clapped his hands. In an instant, the green hangings became scarlet and the silver became gold; the huge Slytherin serpent vanished and a towering Gryffindor lion took its place. Snape was shaking Professor McGonagall’s hand, with a horrible, forced smile. He caught Harry’s eye and Harry knew at once that Snape’s feelings toward him hadn’t changed one jot.
(PS, Ch17)
Dumbledore knew exactly what he was doing and took joy in the spectacle and embarrassment of Slytherin.
Also, I just wanted to note Percy being adorable in the above scene because I read it so you deserve to be reminded of it too:
Gryffindor cheers nearly raised the bewitched ceiling; the stars overhead seemed to quiver. Percy could be heard telling the other prefects, “My brother, you know! My youngest brother! Got past McGonagall’s giant chess set!”
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rainmaster-simp · 3 months ago
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The history book on the shelf...is always repeating itseeeeelffff
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starry-bi-sky · 7 months ago
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don't you want to be a cult leader? - danyal al ghul au
this is mostly a joke post but i thought it was funny and had to share so--
his first mistake was, obviously, inheriting his father's inability to see an injustice and stand still. -- actually, danyal's first mistake was his lair being so big. a mountainous island with a large temple in the center resembling his old home in Nanda Parbat? With sprawling foliage and rivers and streams and waterfalls galore? What was he going to do with all that space? Let it go to waste? He had plants there! Native trees of the ghost zone growing from the soil! He couldn't let it all be left unchecked!
So naturally after helping a fellow teenage assassin ghost -- who he later learns is named Akihiko, -- from Walker of all people, he sent them over to hang low at his lair until it was safe enough for them to wander around the Zone. Walker couldn't get through Danyal's astrofield if his life depended on it, and trust him -- he's tried. Danny was clearing out debris from his stupid transport vans for weeks.
Honestly it wasn't so bad, he and Aki really quickly became fast friends and Danny loves having a sparring partner close to his level again -- he hasn't had this much fun fighting since he left the League. Aki was very dedicated and levelheaded, the both of them clicked really well because of it.
Nonono, the real trouble began after Danyal met some long-passed League members and allowed them to come join his island as well. Apparently they had made a few enemies of the zone, and maybe Danyal still felt some loyalty to the League. He couldn't just let them be left to rot. Their zealotry could be overlooked so long as they kept it contained and helped him take care of his island.
And it.. snowballs from there? He meets a teen squire aptly calling himself Ambroise -- whether that was his living name or not is yet to be seen -- who died during feudal france, who is just about as dramatic and passionate as every french stereotype makes them out to be. He calls Danyal "my moon and great muse" -- which is both flattering and little uncomfortable, but Danyal's grown up in the League as the Grandson of the Demon Head, he is used to mild worship. he passes it off as nothing more, nothing less. -- and while his energy is overwhelming on the worst of days, he helps Danny draw out of his shell more in ways that Sam and Tucker still struggle with.
Him and Aki butt heads a lot, but the two seem to hold the other in at least some positive regard, so Danny doesn't worry too much about them fighting while he's gone. It only becomes a mild issue when Aki also begins calling Danny "my moon". It's a little sweet, so Danyal brushes it off.
Then he takes in a troupe of ghosts some time after he defeats Pariah Dark and they begin calling him "great one" just as the yetis do in the far frozen. This is where he meets the twins -- a pair of sibling ghosts who call themselves Trixie and Missy (short for Trick and Mislead) -- who aren't quite as passionate as Ambroise but more energetic than Aki. Eventually they also start calling Danyal "my moon" and attach themselves to his hip, even within the living. They like to hide in his shadow and cause trouble for the rest of the students. He makes sure they don't hurt anyone.
He's pretty sure Aki is jealous, same with Ambroise, but he can't be too certain other than the fact that they become much more lingering (re: clingy) whenever he visits the island.. Something he's trying to do much more often these days due to the increasing amount of people living there now. Since when did he become so popular?
Then there's Pēnelópeia from the Greater Athens, who ran away from home and joined his Island after he ran into her while she was being chased by Skulker -- and he's pretty sure the reason was because of her chimeric appearance. Her strange eyes and mismatched wings and lion's tail and talons. She assimilates into his friend group very easily, she gets along well with Ambroise and Trixie and Danny usually finds the three of them climbing the trees to pluck the most fruit from the top. They can fly and he knows it, but they prefer to climb.
Then finally there's silent poet Akkara who comes from ancient mesopotamia, who gets along most with Aki -- which is no surprise there considering their similar personality dispositions. he watches Aki and Danyal fight each other and leaves comments on this or that that he notices. He writes Danyal poems on clay tablets and leaves them by his room.
They're one big mismatched group of outcasts, and Danny's got the other ghosts on his island to tend to, because they're living on his island and he wants to be hospitable even if he struggles with that. But he spends the most of his time with them.
Sam and Tucker are making fun of him. Tucker jokingly tells him 'careful Danny, at this rate you're gonna start a cult'. Danny really wishes he had taken that joke more seriously.
He just. keeps. collecting people. Wayward souls lost in the zone, looking for shelter or refuge from something or other -- whether that be another hostile ghost, or a past afterlife, or just a purpose. Danyal finds them, he takes them in, offers them a place on his island until they are ready to leave. Many seldom do. He's not complaining -- he has the space, and it feels like it's only ever growing.
His close friends, his "inner circle" as he's heard the others call them, keep insistently calling him "my moon". He starts calling them his stars, because then it only feels fair. They're his stars, this is his constellation. It becomes a thing; little star halos begin forming behind their heads, picking them out from the rest. He loves them so much, it's hard to place. Sam and Tucker are also his stars, but they reside in the living realm, they're his tie to Life. Meanwhile, his friends here know what it's like to be dead, and sometimes its nice to relate.
Those living on his island keep calling him "Great One" and he's beginning to notice zealotry in their care for his island. He really, deeply appreciates it. His close friends gain nicknames -- as his stars, it's only natural for him to pick them out from the cluster in the skies. Akihiko, his Sirius and bright star. Trix and Missy, Castor and Pollux, the twins and troublemakers. Ambroise, his zealous Antares and close friend. Penelopeia, chimeric and loyal Vega. And Akkara, his Arcturus and strength.
It's ridiculous how long it takes for him to notice; he is, of course, a deadly trained assassin. He is meant to be observant -- and normally he is! But somehow this becomes a blind spot. One that becomes too big to be dealt with by the time he realizes it.
He should've noticed when Aki, his Sirius, stood beside him one day while Danyal looked over his island and saw the sprawling spirits carrying on about their afterlife and bowing to him as they saw him, and said: "I looked down into the depths when I met you; I couldn't measure it." They aren't one for flowing prose, it took him so off guard he was silent for over a minute before he finally spoke.
Danyal should've recognized devotion for what it is, and yet he didn't. He should've recognized it when Antares began spouting praises about him, crowing about his radiance and resplendence to the heavens. He just brushed it off as Ambroise being Ambroise. He should've recognized it when Trix and Missy nearly broke Dash's leg after he knocked Danyal's books out of his hands, he excused it as them being protective. Of them coming from times where such violence may have been customary -- after all, that's what he used to be like. What he was still like, sometimes, when his emotions nearly got the better of him.
He should've noticed it when the people living on his island followed his word like gospel, looked at him like he hung the stars in the sky. When his friends gifted him a shawl with the moon phases delicately embroidered into it, with silver, shimmering thread and moving stars lovingly stitched into it. Their constellations seen clear as day in the dark fabric. When he found small shrines dedicated to him -- but they lacked any image of him beyond stones carved to look like moons, so he ignored it. When the religious imagery began popping up.
He really, really should've noticed it when a bunch of cultists accidentally summoned Antares, and Antares had turned to him when he arrived and called them heretics. But he was so centered on the fact that they had kidnapped one of his stars, that he hadn't paid much attention to what Ambroise had said.
Sages say that faith is blind, they should also say faith in you is even blinder.
It really only hits him one afternoon while he's sitting in Sam's room studying with Tucker, Missy and Trixie lounging at his feet, Aki sat on his right, Penelopeia braiding his hair, Ambroise draped against him, and Akkara lurking over him. Its one of the rare few times they're all in one room together.
It hits him like a bolt of lightning. He looks up from his textbook. "Oh Ancients," he says in no amounting shock. Everyone looks up to him.
"I've become my grandfather."
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#danyal al ghul au#dpxdc au#dp x dc au#dpxdc prompt#ive been playing cult of the lamb recently and you can tell#anyways i thought this was funny to think about. its specifically danyal al ghul bc that makes it even funnier#tfw you accidentally become a cult leader. rip to you danny you have a cult following#not at ALL an accurate depiction of a cult but i still think its funny. innaccurate cult depictions. ur in too deep to change it now danno#sam and tucker: hey dude... this is a cult | danny still learning how to People: what. no. these are all my friends and refugees.#his inner circle are all Insane about him they just show it in different ways. Sirius is as equally zealous as the rest they just don't#show it as much. which has mistakenly convinced danyal that they are the more logical one. no danny. they would kill for you#danny: i am being hospitable | sam: you created a cult | danny: i am being hosPITABLE#i dont like ghost king aus but i love danny being in positions of power it just has to feel earned. 'accidental kingdom acquisition' is my#favorite trope it just has to be done correctly. 🫵 build that bitch up with your bare hands and not realize until its too late you fool#'becoming a world power by accident and im in too deep to back out now'#danyal. a raised assassin (has no threshold for normal behavior): *sees utter devotion towards him* yeah this is fine and normal.#danyal: yk i dont see this ending horribly. *goes and collects more followers* yeah this is totally cool. welcome to the constellation#danyal: *saves a few people and houses them in his lair* (everyone liked that [to a worrying degree actually])#his inner circle: my moon! | danny: my stars :]#danny: ive become my grandfather. | danny: ... | danny: idk how to feel about that honestly.#those poor cultists that kidnapped antares were subjected to a 3hr tangent about 'the radiance of the Moon and his resplendent generosity'#before danyal found him and got him home. who were the cultists summoning? who knows! but they got Objectively the Worst out of the#constellation to summon by accident. actually they're all bad there's no picking who. they're all various amounts of Unhinged Danny just#Never Realizes It because he is also Unhinged and thinks some of this shit is normal.#like yeah thats totally normal behavior he has no questions whatsoever. this seems like Typical People Stuff.
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turtletoria · 6 months ago
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the krampus incident from the book of bill if it was out of character and stupid
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poolseason · 23 days ago
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i don't want to be left out, so i come here too sometimes.
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you-got-me-star-lost-16 · 4 months ago
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Watching The Crow for the second time in technically 24 hours since I watched it at 2 o’clock this morning and I would just like to say ✨Cinema✨ absolute ✨Perfection✨
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aroaceleovaldez · 2 years ago
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i always see so much of Nico ships where either Nico is the one pining or the focus is almost completely on Nico pining and i feel like we’re missing a lot of opportunity here. Where’s the inverse? Where’s the POVs from [other character(s) of ship] of them falling hard for Nico and just absolutely losing their mind pining over him because he’s so impossible to read that they can’t tell at all if he likes them back or not. Them doing some complicated social dance cause they cannot for the LIFE of them figure out Nico but they’re trying so hard until they finally just tell him outright and find out Nico has liked them back this entire time and they lose their mind just a little bit more. WHERE IS IT.
#pjo#riordanverse#nico di angelo#shipping#examples: one of my favorite headcanons is that Will got a crush on Nico the first time he saw him during the Titan War#when he brought reinforcements n stuff. cause yknow. the dude showed up in thematic armor with three gods and parted an army#and then ensues like a whole year of poor Will helplessly pining over him but a.) Nico is never around and b.) Nico is barely aware of him#ergo why Will is acting Like That in BoO cause he's BEEN TRYING SO HARD TO GET NICO TO NOTICE HIM#on-and-off for a WHOLE YEAR#and he is DETERMINED to at least be Nico's friend by the end of the summer#just so that he can stop losing his mind over it#secondary example: i write a lot of pre-HoO Jason stuff and i really love the potential dynamics between him and Nico then#with Nico being this rogue who randomly shows up#and Jason keeps getting flustered by this guy who doesn't seem to care who he is at all. which is part of the reason for getting flustered#cause Nico keeps treating him as an equal! which is kind of a big deal for Jason#and at the same time they're doing this diplomatic dance and the two of them are just being SO overly formal#because they're both like that. so it just sounds like theyre flirting like Victorians#and poor Jason is so distressed post-HoO when he realizes he'd forgotten all of that. and now he has to START OVER#and Nico is NICO so of course it's impossible for Jason to gauge exactly where they stand#etc etc those are my two most detailed examples
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leslaras-art · 2 years ago
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poor guy he just spent 10 minutes talking to a corpse
((from the second book, dialog is slightly altered due to me not realising he was still standing up instead of sat down um anyway))
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eileennatural · 7 months ago
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now that annamarie tendler's book is out can we all please go back to being normal about john mulaney
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blog-of-reaction · 1 year ago
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Final opinions. I love Kisa. Carlito is just awesome (and he looked so proud and happy for Kisa at the end) and I love him.
Seth is the best. Richie is really a tactical genius. I love them.
Kate’s character arc was great. I love her.
Scott is going off to live his best life with his friends playing in a band and only feeding on guilty people. I love him.
Freddie was great. Guy deserves some peace and quiet. I love him.
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crystalkitty1220 · 2 years ago
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I’m planning on making an incorrect summary of ibvs and this was one of the first ideas i had
THIS REMINDS ME OF THE TIME I WAS BORED IN CLASS AND WASTED LIKE TWENTY PAGES OF MY NOTEBOOK BY SCRIPTING A "IBVS IN A NUTSHELL" THING
tags are just me being nostalgic
#it was so fun but the only joke i remember from it was that i called the nevin goop ''gak''#and planned for someone to say ''the gak is back'' when it appeared again#but i got bored of the whole thing after season one so i never ended up writing that part of it#i made a couple little sprites as well but the lines were too thick and they looked bad. even for in a nutshell sprites.#man ive gotta go find that again. gonna search for it in my notebook.#okay its been two minutes since the last tag and i found it#okay highlights:#''the demon king of high school has decreed it. he says monday 8am i will be deleted'' (heathers reference)#*closeup of issac* *closeup of the door to the art room* *zoom out to show the closet door in between them* ''well frick''#oh god i was so hostile towards chris in this. not even pointing out actual flaws; i just went straight for the jugular. oh poor boy.#KIDS BOP XTALE i guess i couldnt be bothered to simplify his backstory#''haha magic? that's dumb. why would magic exist? magic doesn't exist. you're nor magical. i - definitely - am not magical.#why would i ever be magical? if i was magical you would know but i'm not magical so yeah glad that's settled.#*talking to viewers* my name is nevin jovel. i have magic powers and do an amazing job at hiding them.''#*also talking to viewers* ''my name is drew jovel and nevin's a fucking idiot if he thinks i'm falling for that''#''and i'm chris!''#CHRIS JUST SAYING ''ANIME FALL'' anime boy frrr#''i didn't. not at all. i am a normal human being. i cannot do that by myself. what do you think i am? a wizard?#because i am no wizard i have nothing to do with wizardry i-''#okay nevin definitely had my favorite running gags. running gaks. hah.#charlie: ''my anime senses are tingling'' it would have been such a good place for a 'ghost sense' danny phantom reference :(#nevin: ''day 4 of hoping nothing supernatural happens'' . monika: ''hello!'' . nevin: ''why''#okay so in between every chapter i planned for there to be a screen with the chapter number on it#''nah i'm good'' [CHAPTER 12] ''that was your cue to leave''#WAS IT EVER CANON THAT DEZ FOUND THE MONIKA RITUAL ON WIKIHOW OR WAS THAT JUST SOMETHING MY MIND MADE UP#there's a reference to it here and i swear i wholeheartedly believed it was canon for months#''never trust a wikihow ritual'' god that might be my favorite singular sentence ive written here#''what do you mean? nothing happened. it was just a normal day. nothing witchy happened i have nothing to do with witchcraft#it was just a stalker yes a stalker that i chased away with a hose not a witch that i scared away with witchcraft witches dont exist''#NOOO THATS ALL THE TAGS IT CAN HANDLE i'll have to reblog and add more
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freebooter4ever · 2 years ago
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kenny p is losing his mind over this one
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zheph · 2 years ago
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I mean. I wanna hear your ramblings about Zenith getting control over the player. Please?
You ask for Zenith I deliver <3
This is mainly if Zen knew about the mc + their amnesia when he's already at utira library (im going to say the infernal grunt that tries to kill Jaern at the start of the game but ends up dead is the one that informed him, phones technically exist so maybe he was able to tell him something when he saw the first augur's kid looking lost af and not even knowing who or what the second augur was).
Anyways .
Even if the mc has amnesia they have already learnt about the cults and Zenith does know this especially because them+Nora+Damian come to the library asking about the prophecy, so he wouldn't be able to mention anything cult-related.
He would literally just be very nice to the player and gain their trust that way just like he did w the people living in Oranos (and even if not as extreme also Utira). His popularity among the people would also make him seem more trustworthy so he wouldnt have a hard time gaining the players trust— He would also try to separate the mc from Nora+Damian and probably make those two seem like bad people so that the mc stays away from them.
He wouldn't really need his powers at all either, if he wanted the mc to do something specific he could always just:
a: ask favours from the mc as exchange for favours he'd done for them (like helping them find the prophecy!)
b: gaslight them even more (?
c: peer pressure them into doing whatever tf he wants (since he CAN control everyone else)
Probably at some point he would slowly introduce them to the cult, not sure how he would manage that but oh well, he is a cult leader so definitely not the first time he's done that.
And fun fact: Even if the mc is immune to his powers bcs of Nyx, they arent immune to actual manipulation tactics so l o l . If Zenith knew they'd be immune to mind control from the start i can imagine he would've just gone the manipulating (tm) route.
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shesprobablyhighhh · 4 months ago
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ramble in tags lololololol
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daemonbrain · 2 months ago
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"One of me is cute but two though!"
2.4k, cw: breeding kink, smut, kinda baby trapping (?), not proofread
a/n: based off Juno by Sabrina Carpenter hehe happy reading :)
Simon would go to the ends of the earth for his bird. You wanted to watch your favorite movie for the millionth time with him? Done. You were craving take out from that special spot across town in the middle of the night? He’s placing your order and grabbing his keys to go pick it up after a quick goodbye kiss. You wanted him to kill a little red-haired prick who got too close to you -grazed your arm- yesterday at 17:37 while in a crowded line when he went to the loo, with his bare hands? Fan-tastic. (He may be projecting a little)
But he was worried. He might not be the most perceptive man, but he wasn’t so thick headed he couldn’t see the signs.
The way you made googly eyes at every baby you passed by. Fuck sakes he had never seen so. many. babies. 
Little things everywhere nowadays, though it might just be he’s now paying enough attention to notice. It definitely helped the unintentional search that your grip on his arm tightened every time you saw one. Your soft coos as you turned to him to say for a third time in a row that the babe was the “cutest thing you had ever seen”.
He loved you like he loved his gun after it got him out of a tough spot (he loved you more, but he's pretty poor at putting an example on it), but there was one thing he was wholly unsure he could give you. Being a father has never been something he was sure of, his own making his childhood a living hell assuring him that it wasn’t in his genes or anywhere in his future. He came to terms with that years ago and shoved the idea out of his mind entirely. 
As you both sat down at a coffee shop while taking a break from your park walk, you just happened to get seated right next to another woman, a stroller in your direct view.
Fuckin’ great.
Biting your lip you take a peek at the chubbiest little thing in a deep sleep. Catching the gaze of the mother you smile. “She’s adorable” you chirped. 
As the mother responded with a smile of her own, Simon felt a foot gently nudging his leg as gave him the prettiest eyes. Did you even try to hide it anymore? No, you really didn’t. Eyes filled with thinly veiled intentions, eyes that said “Look how cute! Jump across this table and give me one now,” 
“Isn’t she cute Si?!”
He sighed and replied in his usual grumble, “course, ‘er little jumper is nice.” Tactics. Swiftly move out from the topic and do not let the missus see the little bows… on the jumper… he just pointed- for fucks sake you saw it.
After quite some time giggling with the mother over photos, because of course that had to be the natural progression of things, Simon observed in his characteristic shadow-like demeanor before the little one began to fuss in her sleep. The mother excused herself and the babe to nurse and it’s then you finally turn back to your silent companion with your usual beaming.
“ ‘avin fun there, yeah?” He laughed which came out more as a snort as you mockingly kicked him under the table.
“I am as a matter of fact!”
Pulling his hands into the air in surrender he looks you head on. “Okay, I get it.”
“The baby was just so- ugh! Did you see how chubby she was? Her little hair.. Gosh!” Stay on task. Do not get distracted by the target's beautiful smile or laugh. Someone had to be the voice of rationale after all.
“Like I said ‘er jumper was nice, luv.”
When the pout came to your lips, he considered it a success (you were hot either way) and chalked the whole thing as a minor bump in the road. Whatever this baby fever was would pass.
Nonetheless, he should’ve known his bird better than that. She wasn’t a quitter, that’s for damn sure. As you cooked up dinner in that cute apron and served it plated up so nicely it dawned on him just how… domestic this all was.
It was nice, he concluded. Calm.
You remained pensive and quiet for the most part during dinner, clearly desperate to say what you had been on your mind for weeks. He could see the way your mind's gears turned, wanting to blurt it out. Like an animal going feral at the bars of its cage. Except your the animal and your cage is the inherent trust you will not go awol and chuck your birth control pills into the trash while he’s not watching.
“Simon…” 
Here it comes.
Simon grunted out his response while chewing on his food, looking up to meet your cautious gaze. Leaning across the table you gently lay your hand on his which held his fork, pushing it down.
“I’ve been thinking… a lot lately.” There you went with that look again. “Have you… ever thought of kids before? I- I know we’ve had this talk before… but-”
“C’mere.”
He outstretched his big arms and patted his lap. With quick acceptance you hurried over and let him pull you on top of him, one hand on the back of his chair and the other on your ass for support. The deep kneading of it was also for support of course. 
“You know how I feel about them. ‘Is jus not somethin I think about, luvie.” He didn’t dare look away from your eyes. If he was about to take that gleam out of your eyes he at least owed it to you to watch.
You grabbed his face with a light touch and caressed the stubble which had begun to grow with a look beginning to resemble a spot of desperation. Pressing yourself further into his body, you couldn’t help your protests.
“Si.. I just- I want one so bad.” You began to slide your hand down the side of his neck, pressing forward to gently place a kiss. Leaning your forehead in the junction between his shoulder and neck you continued before he could respond.
“Don’t you? A little baby with us all the time.”
Someone had to be the voice of reason and Simon was going to have to put his foot down on this.
“You’re not thinkin straigh’, luv. It would be cute-” He was cut off in shock as he felt the slight rock of your hips as you cowered into his shoulder.
“Just imagine it! One of me is cute enough, but two!” The pace began to speed up as you blatantly started grinding against him. He let out a little huff. Voice of reason. Though his reason was nowhere to be found when he put his hand that was idly on the chair to your backside to encourage the movement.
You knew what came next, you had to sweeten the pot. You knew you were being mean, but you just had to! You were practically given no choice!
“Don’t you want that Si! Don’t you wanna make something together?” You all but pleaded. He looked straight past your head with a crumbling steely demeanor. Fuck.
You already began to tug at his shirt and with a final glare, Simon couldn’t help but look at his pretty bird. His pretty bird on top of the prize she coveted, heat passing between their bodies. Just one time. One time and then they could talk about this properly. 
Simon gathered you up in his arms and stood while pressing an eager kiss to your lips. It was a soft and long thing as he brought you both to the bedroom you shared. He threw you down on the bed and stripped himself as you excitedly did the same.
Smiling up at him as if you won. You did not win. This was not a win, right? You were on your birth control either way, he would pull out as needed. What harm is there in fucking his own girl.
Pushing you on to your back he parted your legs to look what lay between them. There was the prize he was most proud of. Puffy cunt at the mercy of the cool air being pushed out by the vents. You were already beginning to shine.
“You were just waiting for it weren’t you? Knew I couldn’t leave you hanging, yeah?”
With a giggle you spread your thighs further and wiggled your hips teasingly. Simon dropped to his knees and pulled your body to the edge of the bed. Throwing each of your legs on either of his shoulders he spit into your cunt, taking two thick fingers and rubbing it in, catching on to your hole lightly as he played with the slick. He could see the way your stomach tightened as he circled your clit and he winded you up further when he firmly flicked it.
“Si” you whined.
“Wha’ is it?” He grinned as he lowered his head to press a kiss down. Devolving from a kiss, he grabbed onto one of your thighs with a strong grip and began to sloppily lick while you let out your breathy little moans, sensitive to the absolute tank holding you still as he ate straight from the source.
He licked and it just kept going. Dragging his tongue around your cunt, up to your puffy clit. He harshly sucked as he latched on to it drawing a cry from your vulnerable form. Tugging at his hair, he only looks up with his eyes, refusing to pull away his mouth. 
Shaking your head with wide eyes you couldn’t help but push your fluffy little agenda.
“Si please. Please. Please, I need it! I’d never ask for anything else-” you moaned in surprise once again as he added a finger into your hole. Willing himself to pull away from you, Simon continued to fuck his finger into you as he spoke up, spittle and slick coating his mouth. He had to switch gears, use logic (and cum) to deter you.
“We’d never have time. All this?-” He added another finger into your clenching pussy “Gone. We’d be cleaning spit up instead.”
“We’d have a baby!” You exclaimed insistently.
You were practically off the edge, usually by now Simon had you fucked into your own little world. This incessant begging for a little one of your own is keeping you sharper than usual. He’d fix that.
“Please Simon” You pulled him up, the strain of his cock to be inside you encouraging him to follow your movements. He looked at you pretty tits, pretty like everything else on you. Taking a nipple between his fingers and rolling hard.
“These’d get all full.”
Fuck that backtracked his own point. His mind fighting back the onslaught of thoughts at the sight of your tits growing round and heavy because of something he could do. Would your body get all soft- NO.
Lining himself up and looking at that pleading expression, the only time he’d ever seen you so wanting of something you were willing to roll around with nothing else on your mind.
“Just one Si, just one with your eyes your nose your hair-” Your breath went short as he pushed himself in, giving shallow thrusts to feed into your aching cunt. Recomposing yourself you gripped on to his bicep, “Just do it, lock me down tonight.”
Simon couldn’t help the way he subconsciously began pushing your thighs up to give himself a deeper angle, your ankles dangling weightlessly above your head, knees to your chest. The groans which sounded through the room as his hips hammered into you in a desperate chase. 
The two of you could do nothing but stare into each other's eyes, losing yourselves in each other while your cunt squeezes him like a vice. Determined to keep him there, body obstinately stuck on one thing.
 Someone had to be the voice of reason. Someone had to object to a little one with his eyes and your personality. Someone had to be rational and not think about painting the nursery while you waddled about. Someone had to remain level-headed and not imagine the way your eyes would light up with unfettered joy.
You tossed your head back and he couldn’t help but grip your face in his hand, tugging it right back to him.
“With me luv, with me. Look at me.”
Someone had to be rational.
Nodding your head shakily you keep your eyes on the massive man pounding away at you, feeling the way your stomach bulges trying to accommodate all of him, your cunt coaxing him further into the sticky trap.
Your body begging for one thing, you looked like you needed it. Tongue lolling out of your mouth as you were fucked stupid, sweat collecting on your brow. You looked perfect. Your whining swallowed by his own mouth when he presses another kiss to your swollen lips, body enduring in hopes the fat cock ruthlessly disturbing its peace would grant it the big load it craved.
Someone had to be rational?
Maybe it was the way you sucked him in, the way he couldn’t stop thrusting into you, but it’s as if your body sent some message to the receptors in his mind. All that flashed before him images of happy and full and with his baby.
As if you could sense his thoughts, your own peak quickly overcame you white hot. The way you spasmed around him with a loud cry of pure ecstasy.
“Give it to me!” You somehow managed. His mind went blank as drunk off the pleasure as you were, the only thing he could do was thrust, unable to comprehend anything else.
 A shame Simon couldn’t be rational when it came to his bird.
With the final slam of his hips, his release went into the deepest depths of you. His grip on your hips burning from how tight it was as he kept himself flush against you.
It took a few moments to come down from the high. Simon looked at your sweaty face, hazy from lack of energy. Maybe you did win this one, but he really didn't get all this effort (not that he was complaining) if you were still on birth control.
Birth control... which he hasn't had to remind you to take for quite some time...
Out of pure curiosity at his realization, he gently pushed the two of you further up the bed while keeping you plugged up. Opening the first drawer he manages to grab the box which contained your birth control pills. Upon further inspection, he notices it remains unopened and untouched. Shaking his head with a gruff laugh he peers down at you as you shiver from the rumble.
“Dirty girl”
You just smiled.
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