#he was supervised the entire time it was like .4 seconds

[erinwantstowrite]

it's fucking snowing...

this was hours ago it's about like 8 inches now??

edit: half my post disappeared????

[simplygojo]

The Devil He Made Me - Ch. 4

Authors Note: I am personally loving this series, so I really hope you guys are too. Thank you for all the kind words about this series so far. LOVE YOU <33

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x f/reader

Series Summary : After being found by Gojo and his first year students in a sticky situation, y/n joins Jujutsu High under the close supervision of Gojo. As time passes, the two of you become close, with a strong unspoken bond forming as you work together. Although, there is something dark looming over the situation, and those at Jujutsu High are determined to get to the bottom of it, before it is too late.

Chapter Summary : Y/n continues training with the first-years, while Gojo grows increasingly protective of her. In order to become more useful, y/n works hard at developing her cursed energy into a cursed technique. With this development comes more complications with those suspicious of y/n and the forest incident. 

Taglist: @mawhoreagaa; @peqch-pie; @blue-serendipity; @simplyyyuji; If you'd like to be added to the taglist, leave a comment to let me know :)

Word Count : 5.1k

Warnings : Seggusal tension increasinggggg, nothing else yet tho hehe.

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

There was darkness all around, an oppressive weight that felt like it was closing in. 

Your breaths came in short gasps as you ran, feet pounding against the wet earth, but no matter how fast you moved, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was following you. It wasn’t a person—at least, not entirely. 

You were back in the forest.

You stood up, looking over your shoulder to see a man standing behind you. Dark and intense cursed energy oozed from him. You couldn’t breathe, as if there was something blocking your airway. 

Clawing at your throat—gasping for breath—you started running away from the mysterious man. 

Suddenly, your foot caught on something, and you fell hard into the mud. Then, a piercing pain immobilized you—it felt like your stomach was ripping itself apart.

When finally managed to open your eyes, you saw him again. But a bright light cast a shadow over his face. 

That's when you felt it. 

A dark manifestation of cursed energy. It crackled like electricity, twisting and coiling around your arms, burning through your skin.

You screamed, trying to shake it off, but it only grew stronger, surging through you with a force you couldn’t control. It was inside you, seeping out, and no matter what you did, it wouldn’t stop. 

Your eyes shot open.

You were back in your room at Jujutsu High, breathless and disoriented, heart still pounding in your chest. The nightmare clung to you for a few seconds before dissolving like smoke, leaving behind only the sensation of that cursed energy—the one you still didn’t fully understand. 

You sat up in bed, a cold layer of sweat coating your body. Who was that? 

You squeezed your eyes shut, desperate to remember anything from that nightmare. But it all faded away.

It was just a dream—but it felt real.

—

After a night of no sleep, you decided to head out and begin training. Gojo had mentioned he wanted you to begin training early today. Since your flare of cursed energy at the graveyard, you were both somewhat eager to see what else you could do. You had to figure out a way to gain some sort of control over your situation. 

The sunlight filtered through the trees, dappling the outdoor training grounds with a soft, golden hue. 

You stood with your feet planted firmly on the dirt of the outdoor arena, eyes closed as you tried to focus. It was early, and the others were allowed to sleep in today because of their work last night on exorcising the curses at the graveyard, so it was just you and Gojo training for the next hour.

“Eventually, your cursed energy will manifest itself into a technique. Which will be the main way you can use it to fight curses.” Gojo explained as he typed something into his phone. 

You nodded, but at your core, you didn’t know if you could do this. 

You could feel his arrogant attitude from where you stood in the training arena. “Try not to blow up the place, alright?”

Rolling your eyes, you had scoffed at him. But, as you stood with cursed energy swirling aimlessly around your fingers, you couldn’t help but feel frustrated. 

It was still so unpredictable, and each time you tried to harness it, it either fizzled out or spiralled into chaos. 

You didn’t want to hurt anyone.

“Okay, come on,” you muttered to yourself, taking a deep breath and stretching out your fingers as you centred the energy into your palm. 

The cursed energy crackled like static against your skin, bright blue sparks shimmering along the edges. Your brow furrowed in concentration. But just as quickly as it flared up, the energy dispersed with a soft pop, leaving nothing but a faint tingle in its wake.

“Dammit,” you whispered under your breath. Your frustration beginning to grow.

“Don’t be too hard on yourself,” Gojo’s voice floated over, his footsteps light as he approached. He had a knack for appearing at just the right (or wrong) moment, and it wasn’t surprising to see him standing a few feet away with that infuriatingly calm smile on his face. “Takes time to control it.”

You glanced at him, wiping the sweat off your brow. “I feel like I’m not getting anywhere with it.” 

You had been out here, trying to harness your cursed energy into something useful since sunrise, which must have been hours ago.

“You’re getting somewhere,” Gojo said easily, crossing his arms as his blindfold caught the glint of the sun. 

His voice dropped into that familiar teasing tone. “Besides, it’s not every day I get to see you all frustrated like this. Kind of cute, actually.”

You huffed, feeling a flush creep up your neck at his direct comment. Turning away to hide your embarrassment, you snapped, “You’re annoying, you know that?”

He chuckled, a low, amused sound that seemed to reverberate through the air. “I’ve been told that once or twice.”

He had this way of making everything seem effortless, yet there was a deeper, almost imperceptible layer of concern that you couldn’t quite understand. 

You caught him watching you more often now, his usual playful demeanour occasionally replaced by an intense seriousness that made you wonder what he was really thinking.

There were moments, fleeting and unexpected when you found yourself lost in thoughts about him.

His confident smile, the way he casually teased you, and even his serious side, all seemed to draw you in—and there is no denying he has got to be one of the most gorgeous men you’d ever se—What the hell am I thinking about right now, focus!

You quickly brushed these thoughts away, a mix of embarrassment and practicality pushing them to the back of your mind. 

Focus on the training, you reminded yourself. There was enough to worry about without adding complicated feelings into the mix.

The weight of needing to be useful, to prove yourself, was heavier than anything else on your mind right now. 

You took a deep breath, focusing your mind on the cursed energy swirling within you. Concentrate, you told yourself. Control it. Let it become strong.

With renewed determination, you concentrated the energy into your palms.

The familiar blue light began to glow, a vivid hue that seemed to dance around your hands. You lifted your arm, aiming towards the wooden target set up at the other end of the arena.

Gojo watched you intently, his usual smirk replaced by a look of genuine interest. You could feel his gaze on you, a silent encouragement that urged you to push through.

You narrowed your eyes at the target, summoning every ounce of concentration you had.

The cursed energy built up, a palpable force in your hand. When you felt ready, you released it.

A beam of cursed energy shot out from your palm, faster than a snap of your fingers. The beam struck the wooden target with explosive force. 

It shattered into splinters instantaneously, the impact sending debris scattering across the field. Blue flames erupted from the point of impact, scorching the ground and adding a dramatic flair to the display.

You watched with a mix of pride and relief as the target was blown to smithereens, the blue flames sizzling out quickly. The energy buzzed in your hands, a testament to the progress you had made.

“Wow, y/n…” Gojo said, his voice carrying a hint of genuine admiration. You smiled wide at his reaction. 

He walked over to you, playfully clapping his hands. But, your smile immediately fell into a tired frown when he spoke, “That was way stronger than I expected from you. Plus, I thought you’d miss.” 

“Well, aren’t you encouraging.” You replied harshly. “Glad you’re always rooting for me.” You said flatly as you turned away from him, setting yourself up to try again. 

As you caught your breath, still feeling the residual pulse of cursed energy, you heard footsteps approaching. Yuji, Nobara, and Maki—came into view, drawn by the commotion.

Yuji’s eyes widened as he took in the scene, his mouth dropping open in awe. “Whoa! What happened here?”

Nobara’s eyes gleamed with curiosity, her usual teasing demeanor replaced by genuine interest. “Looks like y/n’s been busy. What was that?”

Maki raised an eyebrow, clearly impressed. “That’s some impressive cursed energy control.”

Gojo took a step back, giving the group a sweeping gesture with a flourish. “Ladies and gentlemen, may I present y/n’s newly developed technique. Quite the show, huh?”

Yuji bounded forward, practically bouncing with excitement. “That was amazing, y/n! I knew you had it in you!”

Nobara grinned and clapped her hands together. “Awesome! Now we can really go at you in training. Even Maki’s impressed, and that’s saying something.”

Maki gave you a nod of respect, her usual tough exterior softened by genuine admiration. “Nice work.”

You shrugged, trying to play it cool despite the lingering flush of satisfaction. “Just trying to keep up.”

The group continued to chatter, their enthusiasm and encouragement a welcome change from the tension you’d been feeling.

As you joined them, the atmosphere lightened, and for the first time in days, you allowed yourself to relax, enjoying the camaraderie of your peers. The fears that were previously stuck in your mind faded away. 

Gojo stayed close, his gaze lingering on you with an unreadable expression. Even amidst the laughter and conversation, there was an air of unspoken understanding between the two of you. 

That morning’s training had revealed more than just a new technique—it revealed that you could help, and that maybe, just maybe, everyone at this school wouldn’t see you as a burden.

—

Later that day, after you had spent hours training and sparring with Megumi and Nobara, you found yourself walking through the corridors of Jujutsu High, still thinking about your nightmare. You remembered that you had seen someone in your dream, but all details were blurred, like a lake on a windy day.

As you turned a corner, you almost collided with Nanami, who was making his way to the principal’s office.

“Oh, sorry,” you muttered, stepping aside quickly.

Nanami glanced at you with his usual unreadable expression. “No worries, y/n. My fault.” He gave a small nod of acknowledgment before continuing on his way. 

You watched him go—you didn’t know much about Nanami, but the other students spoke very highly of him. 

Something about the atmosphere around the school felt off today. There was an underlying tension you couldn’t quite place.

Deciding to brush it off for now, you headed back to your room, where Gojo was patiently waiting, leaning against your doorframe. “I’m starting to think you’re stalking me,” you teased, crossing your arms as you walked down the hall.

He grinned, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes this time. “I’ve been accused of worse things.”

You rolled your eyes. “I need to talk to you.” He looked serious for a moment, something unusual for him. “Okayy…” You responded awkwardly. “What’s up?”

“The higher-ups are paying more attention to you now." He said bluntly, his tone flatter than usual.

Your heart skipped a beat, your body tensing at his words. “What do you mean, paying attention to me?”

Gojo let out a soft sigh. “Your cursed energy’s growing stronger. They’ve noticed. And when the higher-ups notice something they can’t explain, they don’t like to just let it slide. It’s quite annoying actually.” He threw his head back a bit in annoyance. “There’s this old bald guy who likes to hold grudges—mostly against me—and you’re my student.” 

You felt a lump form in your throat as his words settled in. The higher-ups were interested in you? 

"So... what does that mean for me?"

Gojo tilted his head a bit. "It means they're getting more suspicious. And if they can't figure you out, they’ll want to dig deeper.”

He hesitated for just a second before his smirk returned, “I gotta start bringing you on every mission. I kind of have a thing against these old folk, so I want to stay in between you and them.” 

You stared at him, your mind spinning. Going on missions with Gojo? The idea felt both thrilling and terrifying, and you weren’t sure if you should feel relieved or even more anxious. "You’re really serious about this?" you muttered, more to yourself than to him.

Gojo held up a finger and put his other hand on his hip. "Yep! So you should definitely polish up your cursed techniques.” You rolled your eyes at him, but he spoke again before you could respond.

"Don’t forget though, I am the strongest—If the higher-ups want to watch, fine. But they’ll have to do it from a distance."

You swallowed hard, feeling the weight of the situation settling on your shoulders. The idea of being watched, of being tested again—it made your skin crawl. 

But at the same time, you couldn’t ignore the strange comfort you felt knowing Gojo would be there.

—

The next day, you found yourself back at the training grounds with the rest of the group. The air felt heavy with the anticipation of something unspoken, though you couldn’t quite put your finger on what it was. Megumi and Yuji were already stretching out, and Nobara was talking loudly about some new shoes she had bought. 

Gojo was already there when you arrived, leaning against a tree with his usual lazy grin, but his posture was more rigid than usual. Something was clearly on his mind.

“Alright, everyone ready?” Gojo’s voice broke through the chatter, and the group gathered around, exchanging glances.

“Today’s focus is control.” Gojo’s smile widened as his eyes flicked to you, the challenge clear. 

“We’re going to see just how well y/n can manage her cursed energy while under pressure. And by pressure, I mean you guys.” He flashed a pair of finger guns towards you and the others. 

Your heart skipped a beat. It was no secret that you had struggled with control until recently, and Gojo had been pushing you harder lately. 

As the sparring matches began, you found yourself paired with Nobara. Her cursed tools were sharp and precise, and you knew she wouldn’t hold back. 

You summoned your cursed energy, focusing it into your palms. You had yet to figure out any way to use your cursed energy defensively, only on the offence. 

She was too quick for you—you couldn’t load up your technique, just dodge her nails. 

“Fuck,” You breathed, sweat now dripping down your forehead. 

You managed to get a single strike aimed in her direction. She blocked it, although not with ease. 

Quickly after this, Nobara lunged at you, and you couldn’t dodge it. You lifted a single hand in font of your face to block her, and a shimmering barrier of cursed energy appeared in front of you, freezing Nobara in the air. It held up for a few seconds but then broke apart—Nobara falling in front of you. 

“You’re getting better,” Nobara said, a grin pulling at her lips, as she stood up. “But you’ll have to do better than that if you want to beat me.”

You smirked, feeling the adrenaline pump through your veins. “Oh, I plan to.”

For the next several minutes, the two of you exchanged blows, your cursed energy crackling and swirling around you. 

Each time Nobara attacked, you deflected with that shimmery barrier you created, feeling more in control of your abilities than ever before. 

But with each success came a growing sense of unease. 

The cursed energy wasn’t just responding to you—it was almost like it had a mind of its own, reacting to your emotions, amplifying with each surge of frustration or excitement.

From his vantage point, Gojo observed you with a mixture of amusement and admiration. It was impossible not to be drawn to the way you approached your training—there was a fierce determination in your eyes that spoke volumes. 

But it wasn’t just your training that captured his attention. There were moments, fleeting and unguarded, when you flashed him a smile—an expression of triumph or frustration. Those smiles, so rare and genuine, had a way of lighting up your face and sending a jolt of warmth through him. 

Sometimes, when you spoke to him, your voice had a certain edge that made his pulse quicken—a mix of sass and sincerity that he found both endearing and electrifying.

The way you carried yourself—your smile, your eyes, your voice—had an effect on him that went beyond mere admiration. 

Just as you were about to launch another attack, Gojo’s voice cut through the air.

“That’s enough.”

You and Nobara stopped, both panting heavily. You glanced over at Gojo, who had his arms crossed, his blindfold covering his eyes but not hiding the fact that he had been watching you intently the entire time.

Before you could respond, Yaga appeared at the edge of the training grounds, his face as stern as ever.

The moment his gaze landed on you, your stomach twisted. He hadn’t been around much since you’d arrived at Jujutsu High, but whenever he did show up, it was usually for something serious.

“Gojo, a word?” Yaga said, his voice leaving no room for argument.

Gojo sighed, his usual lighthearted demeanour slipping. “Go on without me,” he said to the group, and then to you specifically, “Try not to burn the place down.”

You rolled your eyes, but the tightness in your chest remained as you watched Gojo and Yaga disappear into the main building.

Nobara nudged you lightly, breaking you from your thoughts. “What do you think that’s about?” she asked, her voice casual but her eyes glinting with curiosity.

You shrugged, trying to play it off, though your heart raced with unease. “Who knows? Maybe they’re finally realizing how much of a pain Gojo is,” you joked, earning a loud laugh from Nobara, though your attempt at humour fell flat to your own ears.

—

Meanwhile, inside the main building, Gojo leaned casually against the wall, his blindfold still firmly in place, arms crossed in a posture that suggested nonchalance. “So, what’s so urgent, Yaga? You interrupt my valuable instructor time?” Gojo quipped, though his tone lacked its usual lightness.

Yaga didn’t bite on Gojo’s attempt at humour. His face was grave as he glanced over his shoulder to make sure they were alone. “There’s been word of a new curse user. Someone powerful. Too powerful to go unnoticed for long.”

Gojo straightened up slightly, sensing the shift in tone. “And?”

“And the higher-ups—specifically Gakuganji—are starting to grow suspicious,” Yaga continued. “They think this curse user might be connected to y/n.”

At this, Gojo’s easygoing facade cracked. His posture stiffened, and a dangerous gleam appeared behind his blindfold. “Those idiots think y/n’s involved? Based on what?”

Yaga sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “You know how they are. Always looking for someone to blame. Her cursed energy’s been growing steadily, and they can’t make sense of it. Then, suddenly, this curse user appears on the radar, causing havoc—Gakuganji’s convinced there’s a link.”

Gojo was silent for a moment, processing the information. His fingers twitched by his sides, itching for action, for a way to cut through the bureaucracy and protect you. “Y/n has nothing to do with this curse user,” he said, his voice hard and certain. “You know that, and I know that.”

“But Gakuganji doesn’t,” Yaga countered. “He’s old, set in his ways. He’s convinced himself that there’s something wrong with her. The more her cursed energy grows, the more paranoid he gets.”

Gojo clenched his jaw, frustrated but not surprised. “What’s the plan, then? Are they going to monitor her, restrict her movements? Or do they want to go further?”

Yaga frowned, folding his arms. “They haven’t made a decision yet, but it’s clear Gakuganji wants answers. He’s pushing for a formal investigation. If he can convince the other higher-ups, it won’t be long before they take action.”

Gojo’s lips curled into a bitter smirk. “And by ‘investigation,’ you mean dragging her into their games, pushing her until something breaks.”

“Exactly,” Yaga said grimly. “They’re not going to let this go. And if this curse user causes more damage, they’ll be looking for someone to pin it on.”

Gojo’s eyes darkened behind his blindfold. His protective instincts surged as he thought of you, how unaware you were of the storm brewing around you. He wouldn’t let them touch you—not when he could do something about it.

“So what do we do?” Gojo asked, his tone dropping, serious.

Yaga glanced at him, the unspoken weight of the question hanging between them. “I trust you, Gojo, but you need to be careful. You’re the only thing standing between y/n and Gakuganji right now. If he gets too suspicious, even you might not be able to stop them from acting.”

Gojo scoffed at Yagas statement. “Yeah right. Not even that old man could stop me, you know that too.” He pushed off the wall, his posture shifting back into the easygoing persona he used like armour.

—

After training, you were left feeling restless. The sparring match with Nobara had gone well, but the growing power inside you felt unsettling. You needed to clear your head, and sitting still wasn’t an option. 

The sun had just set, and you were wandering the grounds, the quiet evening air a welcome distraction from the many issues swirling in your mind. But just as you rounded a corner near the principal’s office, you caught sight of Gojo and Nanami standing just outside, their voices hushed but intense.

“I don’t trust the higher-ups on this,” Gojo was saying, his tone uncharacteristically serious. “There’s more going on here than they’re letting on.”

Nanami frowned, his arms crossed. “And what do you plan to do? Defy them openly?”

Gojo shrugged, though there was a dangerous glint in his eyes. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

Your heart raced as you ducked behind a nearby wall, straining to hear more.

“They want her under observation,” Nanami continued, his voice low but firm. “There are too many unanswered questions about her cursed energy. If they find something they don’t like, it won’t end well.”

Gojo’s voice dropped even lower, sending a shiver down your spine. “That’s why I’m keeping her close. I’m not letting them pull any stunts.”

Nanami was quiet for a moment before responding, “Just be careful. If you go too far, you’ll be putting both of you at risk.”

Gojo let out a soft chuckle, though there was no real humour in it. “Since when am I not careful?”

Nanami shot him a pointed look, and Gojo raised his hands in mock surrender. “Alright, alright. I’ll keep it subtle. So serious, Nanami.” And with that, you heard one set of footsteps leave, trailing down the hall.

You pressed your back against the wall, your mind racing. The higher-ups were investigating you? And Gojo—he was protecting you from them?

You weren’t sure what to think. 

The idea that the higher-ups were interested in your cursed energy wasn’t surprising, but the fact that Gojo was actively shielding you from them sent a whirlwind of emotions through you.

Before you could process any further, Gojo’s voice floated through the air again, this time with that familiar teasing lilt. “You can come out now, y/n.”

Shit.

Your heart nearly stopped. How had he known?

Reluctantly, you stepped out from behind the wall, trying to maintain some semblance of composure despite the flush creeping onto your cheeks. “I wasn’t eavesdropping!” you said quickly, though the weak defense only made your face heat up further.

Gojo’s smirk was pure mischief as he slid his hands into his pockets, his movements leisurely and deliberate. “Oh? Then what were you doing?”

You opened your mouth to respond, but the words died in your throat as Gojo stopped right in front of you.

He towered over you, his presence was overwhelming in the dim light. With one finger he held his blindfold up slightly to reveal those sharp, piercing blue eyes that seemed to see right through you.

“Didn’t I tell you not to worry about this stuff?” he said softly, his voice a low murmur that sent shivers down your spine. The way he spoke made your pulse quicken.

“I wasn’t—”

“You were,” he interrupted, his tone lighter but still firm, with an edge that made your stomach flutter. “And you’re overthinking it.”

His proximity was intoxicating. 

You could feel the warmth radiating from his body, his breath so close that it made your heart race. The way he looked at you, so intensely and with that hint of a smirk, made you lose your train of thought.

Every glance, every touch, every teasing comment he made set your nerves on fire. But you tried to keep your composure. 

“I just want to know what’s going on,” you said quietly, your voice betraying the emotional turbulence you felt. “Why are they so interested in me?”

Gojo’s expression shifted, and for a brief moment, the playful facade dropped.

He took another step closer, you felt his breath on the top of your head as he spoke, “Because they don’t trust you. 

You felt your breath hitch at the closeness, his words sending a shiver down your spine.

“Okay, and why are you so involved?” you whispered, your voice barely audible over the rush of emotions surging through you.

Gojo tilted his head, his lips curling into a teasing smirk as he gazed down at you, his voice low and almost intimate. "Do I need a reason to be involved?" he murmured, the weight of his words making your chest tighten.

Your pulse quickened as you searched his face, trying to decipher the meaning behind that statement.

He always did this—danced around the edges of something deeper, leaving you guessing, wondering if there was more to his teasing than just playful banter. 

But right now, with his proximity overwhelming your senses, it felt different. More intense.

“I think you owe me one,” you whispered firmly, trying to keep your voice steady, though the closeness made it nearly impossible. “A real answer.”

Gojo’s smirk faded slightly, his expression shifting into something more serious, something that sent a wave of heat straight through you. 

His hand brushed the side of your arm as he lifted his hand up to hold the back of his neck, his fingers lingering just long enough to send a spark through your skin.

“Maybe I’m just keeping an eye on what’s mine,” he said softly, his tone both possessive and protective.

Your breath hitched at his words. What the hell was he talking about? His?

There was an unmistakable electricity between the two of you—a pull you couldn't resist, no matter how hard you tried.

“Yours?” you breathed, the word barely slipping past your lips. 

Your heart pounded in your chest, his smirk returning with a new lightheartedness to it.

And suddenly the moment was gone—“Yeah, my student!” 

Your eyes narrowed at him, the sudden shift in his tone turning all the heat that had built up into sheer frustration.

Gojo saw your face and let out a loud chuckle, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he took step back. “Ha! for a minute I thought you were coming onto me there, y/n.” 

His teasing grin was back in full force, and you hated how easily he could do that—toss you from one emotional extreme to another like it was nothing. 

"Oh god, you're insufferable," you muttered, dramatically rolling your eyes and putting your hands on your hips. You were annoyed at him, but it was hard to stay that way when he looked so damn amused.

Gojo tilted his head, watching you with that playful glint in his eye, like he was waiting for you to react exactly how you did. “Oh, come on, don’t be like that.” He chuckled.

“Whatever, you’re a weird guy, you know that?” You said, although you couldnt help the smile that was creeping onto your face.

Before he could say anything else, you turned away and began to walk in the direction of your dorm room, a knowing smile formed on your lips. “Goodnight, Saturo.” You said; your voice was soft as you waved before turning the corner. 

Gojo stood there, frozen in place as your words echoed in his mind.

Satoru.

The sound of his name on your lips stirred something deep inside him, something he couldn’t quite define. It was the first time he had heard his name said in such a tone since—since his best friend. 

But from you, it felt different—intimate in a way that unsettled him. His name had never sounded so soft, so gentle, and for a brief moment, he wondered how many other times you’d said it in your head, the way it had rolled so naturally off your tongue just now.

He blinked, the usual playful smirk faltering on his lips as a strange warmth spread through his chest that he couldn’t suppress. 

He could feel his heart racing in a way it hadn’t in years, the steady rhythm skipping just slightly out of sync. What was that? 

His hand twitched at his side, tempted to reach out after you, to call you back, but he hesitated.

What the hell are you doing, Satoru? He thought to himself, shaking his head as if to clear the strange, fluttering feeling in his chest.

Gojo prided himself on being untouchable—in more ways than one. 

No one could get close enough to affect him, emotionally or otherwise, but somehow, without even trying, you were doing just that. He exhaled, running a hand through his hair and letting out a low chuckle to himself.

“Damn, you really are something else,” he muttered, staring at the spot where you had just disappeared from view.

There was no denying it now—you had managed to slip past the barriers he had built, and the realization unsettled him. His mind raced through the conversations, the subtle moments, the looks shared between you two.

And now, something as simple as you saying his name had thrown him completely off balance.

Your voice continued to echo in his ears—Satoru—soft and lingering. 

Finally, he turned on his heel, heading toward his own quarters, though his mind was anything but settled.

His thoughts kept circling back to you—to the way you’d looked at him before you left, the way your lips had curved into that soft, knowing smile.

He cursed under his breath.

This was getting dangerous. Not because of the higher-ups, not because of the curses or the investigations, but because of you. 

You were becoming a distraction—a very dangerous, very tempting distraction.

[marisaeon]

Sunburns - Day2 AeonSummerWeek!

Read below the cut! :D

The sun is strong, but soft enough for it to feel comfortable. On the beach, Ada watches as Leon and their daughter Alicia play in the water. Ada had her fun earlier, now she was just enjoying the sun, laying on her stomach and snacking on some fruits.

They went to the beach fairly often, and each time Leon is trying desperately for Alicia to learn how to swim. But, she's still young and unfortunately isn't the most capable just yet.

For now, he stays in the shallow parts and swings her around in the water. Sometimes dunking her under for just a moment. It made Ada happy to see, it was fun to watch. She also played with them sometimes. It always ended with both of the girls giggling as Leon shows off that he could carry both of them in the water.

It seems to impress the little girl more than it does Ada.

As she watches them, she can't help but feel a little restless. Thinking for a moment, she remembers the bar set up on shore. Ada collects her belongings and sneaks away to the bar.

Upon arrival, she notices that there are a lot more people here than she anticipated. She's trying to learn to enjoy company, though it isn't working.

Ada adjusted her sunhat, and sat at an available seat away from others. The bartender soon comes up to her, asking what she'd like to drink.

"Surprise me. I'm sure whatever you give me will be good." She smiled warmly at them.

She's whipped up what appears to be a strawberry daiquiri. Basic, but she didn't mind. Ada takes a sip of her beverage, she's suddenly having second thoughts on whether she should be drinking now. Showing back up tipsy to her family wouldn't be the most ideal, though she's known to hold her liquor well... It shouldn't be a problem, she thinks.

4 hours pass, and it's obvious Ada lost track of time. She got lost in the movies that were playing on the screens above. She's always on the lookout for a movie to show Alicia, since Leon seems to have seen them all.

She thanks the bartender for her time, and makes her way back over to her family. The scene that she discovered was... Humorous.

Both of them sleeping, the umbrella that was once covering them conveniently blown over slightly by the wind. They're both completely exposed to the sun, red like tomatoes. Another issue, Alicia's hand is placed across Leon's stomach. Ada bent down, not believing the two of them. The little girl woke up, blinking her eyes open to see her mother.

She got up moving her hand from Leon entirely. "Mommy!" She smiled.

"You're all sunburnt, Alicia." She sighed.

Leon woke up then, moving his head best he could to look at them. He's all the same, the unflattering shade skin shouldn't be. Ada spots the mark on his stomach, a perfect outline of where Alicia's arm laid their entire nap.

Ada couldn't help but giggle, covering her mouth to try and compose herself.

"What's the matter?" He asked, clearly unaware.

"You look like a crime scene." She snickered, pointing to the mark on his body.

Leon sat up, taking a closer look at it. "Ah..." He plopped himself back down, covering his eyes. He couldn't help but laugh too.

"What a unique tanline you gave me, Ali."

Alicia looked at his stomach and giggled, too. "My arm!"

In the end, they all ended up laughing together. Though Ada still couldn't push aside the fact that they're both going to suffer the consequences of their sunburns the next day. Apparently both of them need adult supervision.

[tamurilofrivendell]

Sleeping Beauty | Chapter 10

Previous Chapters [1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9]  Read on AO3 [x]

Pairing: Thranduil/Fem. Reader Summary: A Sleeping Beauty inspired tale with Thranduil the Elvenking, and a female elf living in Mirkwood under the care of Radagast, who is actually the ‘lost’ daughter of the late High King Gil-Galad. Taglist: @hufflepuff1700​​​​​​​​​​​​ @jinlizz-dragondrama​​​​​​​​​​​​ @firelightinferno​​​​​​​​​​​​ @bubbleyukismile @coopsgirl​​​​​​​​​​​​ @achromaticerebus​​​​​​​​​​​ @sleepyamygdala​​​​​​​​​​​   @smalltownbigheart​​​​​​​​​​ @qmabailor​​​​​​​​​ @genderfluid-anime-goth​

The very next morning, Radagast sat down at his wobbly desk, quill in hand, and scribbled out a letter to be sent to the Elvenking’s Halls. He had suffered a very sleepless night, going over and over in his head what he could possibly say, how he could explain it. All he knew was that he could no longer afford to wait. Now that the Enchantress had made contact with you (and he knew that she had, despite your denial of there having been anybody else in that clearing) Radagast could not waste a single second.

He could not keep you here in his cottage any longer. He could not shield you properly, in the way that would be necessary. The Enchantress may very well launch an attack upon him and he would rather that you were safely out of the way. Inside Thranduil’s Halls would be the best place for you, for a time at least. The Enchantress would not be able to penetrate their defences. Radagast knew that Thranduil would not let her.

Yes, you would be quite safe there, though moving you to the Halls would mean that he would have to tell you everything. He would have to shatter the only world you had ever known. He was loath to do it. He was so very fond of you and he did not wish to hurt you. However, there was nothing else that he could do, not like this, not without help.

So, after much hesitation and scratching out of words, Radagast placed his letter safely into the claws of a raven and sent the bird winging its way to the Woodland Realm, where it was received and taken to the king.

To Thranduil Oropherion, Elvenking. From the hand of Radagast the Brown. It is with deep regret that I must inform you of a very large secret which I have kept from you. The keeping of this secret was not done to slight you. In truth, it had nothing at all to do with you and everything to do with the safety of the one that I was sworn to protect. The daughter of Gil-Galad lives, Thranduil. She dwells within this very forest and has for many years, under my strict supervision and care. The High King begged me to keep her hidden from the Enchantress to save her precious life and, until very recently, I had managed to do so. With the Enchantress now prowling beneath these trees, I fear time has run out and the Princess is in grave danger. The Enchantress has come too near and I can no longer protect her as I once could.

I write to you seeking sanctuary for her within your halls. Please respond with all haste.

When it fell into his hands, Thranduil read the letter and immediately began to fill with rage. The little girl had survived? She lived? All these years, he had been led to believe that she had died. No... no, not led to believe. He had seen her die! Witnessed it with his own eyes!

What was the meaning of this? Nothing made sense!

If she was alive, then that meant the curse was still in effect. It meant that perhaps this was the reason the Enchantress had come here, had darkened his forest with her presence. He had asked Radagast point blank if he knew why she had come... and the damned wizard had told him that he did not.

Thranduil paced angrily around his office like an unsettled wolf until he finally forced himself to sit down and respond, glaring at the paper the entire time.

To the Wizard Radagast. From the hand of Thranduil O, Elvenking of the Woodland Realm. I fear you must have hit your head upon a low-hanging tree trunk on the journey home! For the last time I saw you, you said nothing of this despite the topic of conversation which we were engaged in.

Even before this, ever since that witch set foot in my forest, you have said nothing many times over if I recall correctly - and I am not in the habit of doing otherwise. This girl you speak of. How am I to know she is truly the princess? I witnessed that elfling die as I witnessed hers and my own mother meet the same fate. Do not come to me now seeking aid, for I do not house nor have the patience for liars.

Radagast had not expected this to be easy.

Truthfully, he had expected Thranduil’s response to be littered with much more anger than it actually was, so he supposed that was a small mercy. Though he had no doubt that the Elvenking was angry enough and was just keeping it all close to his chest, silently seething as was sometimes his way.

Radagast lifted his head and watched you pottering around the kitchen for a while, a deep sadness in his heart, before he picked up his quill and scratched together a messy reply.

Unaware of any of this, you continued to pad around the little cottage, seeing to your chores and thinking about Thranduil, wondering when he would next travel this way. Radagast had been keeping quite a tight leash on you the last day or so and you were quite frustrated, though at least the birds and beasts came and visited you here.

My lord, I understand your anger and your hesitation. The events of the past still affect us all and you witnessed so much that day that it does not surprise me that it brings out unsavoury emotions. Regardless, I implore you to put aside your grievance with me and think of the poor girl. This is not her fault. Should she pay for the mistakes of others? In all truth, she has no idea at all as to who she truly is. She does not know who her father was or what happened that day. I have told her absolutely nothing about any of it so as to keep her safe.

This had raised Thranduil’s eyebrows indeed, because he had not expected that the princess would not have any idea as to her heritage. Her past, her parents, her history. The history they shared in a way.

How the wizard had hidden her away all these years also surprised him. Thranduil had passed that cottage many a time, had sought brief counsel from the man even, and not a whisper or an inkling that anybody else resided there had ever crossed his mind. He wondered if the wizard had perhaps placed some sort of spell upon her.

Then again, he supposed that if you could live without being discovered in his forest, then perhaps he was not quite as attuned to every little going on beneath the trees as he might like to think that he was. Thranduil did not yet connect you and this princess as being the same, for he knew the princesses true name and it was not Lothíriel.

I am unsure how to proceed.

The wizard sighed as he looked down at the one word answer he received from the Woodland Realm that morning. This was taking too long and Thranduil was too stubborn.

Radagast glanced out of the window he was sitting beside, watching you laugh with the birds in the garden. Your life was so important, he thought, and you were too precious a soul to be lost... especially after all the years he had spent raising you, almost as if you were his very own.

He turned back, nodding to himself. He had to keep pushing. In fact, he had to push harder. So, picking up his quill again, he scratched out his own one word reply to Thranduil and sent it winging its way through the forest with his trusted raven.

I beg of you to help her as your father would have wanted - as your mother would have wanted.

This had, of course, sent Thranduil into a mighty anger.

Feren had come running through to the room at the sound of a chalice shattering against the wall.

Thranduil turned to look at him, gritting his teeth. “That damned wizard!” He cried, throwing the letter to his desk and rolling his eyes. “Arrange a reply. Tell him I will do as he wishes.” Thranduil told Feren even as he was sweeping past him to storm off down the hallway and out to the stables.

He needed air.

[msnanu]

Life Twist 10 | JJK

⏤ banner by the talented and sweet: @archivedkookie ❣

⏤summary ❧ After an enormous loss in your life and breaking a long relationship with your now ex boyfriend, you decided you needed a life twist. So you move into a new country to try restart your life and seek for your happiness. What you weren’t expecting was someone like Jungkook entering into your life as soon as you got to Seoul.

⏤𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 ❧ jungkook x female reader

⏤𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦 ❧ fluff, angst, smut, slow burn, 4 years age gap (reader is JK’s noona)

⏤𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 ❧ mature language

⏤𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 ❧ 8.5K+

⏤ author’s note ❧ Angst is here 😔 I hate writing angsty chapters because I feel every emotion written on it honestly. Hope you enjoy reading it!! Please, let me know your thoughts 🙂 your opinions are really valuable for me 🙆

It had been a very long week for Jungkook. Spending most of it prepping the presentation of the new videogame design for his boss, a videogame that it's expected to be one of the biggest in the industry this year.

On the other hand, you had been holding things down at the office - you are sure that you have never been this often at the office since you moved to Seoul -, these last few days you were busy onboarding new employees since you were in the process of starting the supervision of new financial markets in the company therefore more responsibilities and tasks were being added to the team under your supervision.

The only time you'd had to spend with Jungkook was in the night when you'd crawl into bed and after he got cleaned up from working until late hours locked in his office like a caveman. He convinced you to stay this week at his place, that way he'd be able to at least sleep next to you every night. You'd kiss him dreamily, wrap him up safe in your warm arms and fall asleep.

By all rights, you should have been exhausted. You should have been ordering takeout and settling in on the couch to read the entire internet on your phone, your brain totally zombified. Instead, now that work was done for the night, you found yourself very ready to play.

You heard JK come in and drop his shoes in the rack before heading to the fridge for a beer. "Hi, honeeeey, I'm home" he called in the direction of the bedroom, a teasing note in his voice.

You took a little time putting on the final touches, so that when you emerged from behind the door, he had already lost his glasses, rolled up his sleeves and loosened his tie.

Today he had his final presentation, and you already knew that it went beyond great because he texted you earlier letting you know that his boss loved his design from start to end. You weren’t even surprised because he had showed you his designs asking for an “outside” opinion and even if you’re not familiarized that much into the videogame world, you were mesmerized by his talent and he made you feel so proud of him, you just knew his boss had to love it. And what a better way to end this long day than celebrating your 10th month anniversary?

When you finally got out of the bedroom, he was sitting in one of the kitchen chairs, his sweating beer bottle on the table. He looked adorably rumpled and you wasted no more time crossing the room.

"Hey, my favorite designer" you said between kisses. "Happy 10th month anniversary"

His doe eyes looked at you from head to toes, gawking at the sight in front of him. "God, you look so hot, baby" he says while biting his lip and then grabs you from your waist and pulls you in for another deep kiss "Happy 10th month anniversary indeed"

He then hands you a beautiful Jasmine bouquet "I got you your favorites, gorgeous"

"Thank you, baby. I love them" you say giving him a little peck on his lips then stopping for a second "And I love you so much" while smiling at him fondly.

"I love you more, baby"

"There's no way, you know that already"

You both laugh and you immediately change the subject asking, "How was your day?"

"Please" he begged, kissing you again. "Talk to me about anything else, I think I had enough of my work this week"

You smiled and perched yourself on one of his thighs, your arm wrapping around his shoulders as your mouth met his for a deeper, longer kiss that left you breathless.

"Mmmmh" he said, nuzzling his face into your neck. "You, Ms. Y/L/N, are a stunning conversationalist"

"And you, Mr. Jeon, are an incurable smart ass" you answered, pressing your lips lovingly against his hair.

"You like that about me"

"Maybe" you admitted, a little breathily, distracted by what his mouth was doing on your skin. His hand found your knee, slipping just the tiniest bit under the hem of your skirt and you shivered.

His voice sounded slightly surprised and very, very interested as he asked, "Is this silk, baby?"

You wore tights sometimes but rarely pantyhose, so silk stockings were definitely something special. You made a little noise of confirmation and bit your lip as his hand inched up higher, slowly, slowly, until his fingertips brushed the bare skin of your thigh.

"Y/N" he said, his voice all raw desire, his fingers tracing slow circles, and you felt heat rush to your core.

All at once, he was in motion, standing you up and clutching you to him, kissing you intensely and intently as his hands untucked your shirt. You unbuttoned a few of his buttons and helped with some of your own and it seemed like nothing would be fast enough, but somehow both of your shirts were off and Jungkook's palms were running over the skin of your back and you were digging your fingers into his bare shoulders and all the while you were kissing, kissing, kissing.

Eventually, you had to breathe, gasping against his neck as he tugged down the zipper of your skirt and let it fall to the floor. He supported you as you stepped out of the pool of fabric and immediately got to his knees. He tilted his face up to you with a wolfish grin as he put his hands around your hips, tracing the outline of your silky lingerie.

You giggled a little as he trailed his fingers over and under the straps of your garter belt, following them down to the tops of your stockings.

"I just realized I'm wearing red," you said as his lips touched your lower belly, “and black,” you added as his fingers whispered over your knees, "like your su—" You lost your words in a moan as his hands came together to massage one of your calves. He smiled, his lip piercing rasping over you, as his fingers worked their way down to your ankle and skimmed back up lightly, both of you enjoying the whispery sensation. 

"Sounds very tasteful" he said amusedly as he repeated his ministrations on your other calf. 

You had learned very quickly that letting Jungkook feel his way led to nothing but good things for you. For you both. You were mentally adding to your list of erogenous zones as his warm hands caressed the backs of your knees. He was pressing open-mouthed kisses against your stomach and inching lower as his hands traveled upward over your thighs.

When his fingers bit into the curve of your ass, his tongue moving thick and slow against the slippery fabric between your legs, you swayed, unsteady with desire, clinging to him as best you could.

He was immediately back on his feet, holding you close. "You're a goddess," he whispered into your ear, and you flushed at the memory it surfaced as he kissed you. You moved your hands over his back, down to his delectable ass, the firm feel of him stoking the heat inside even higher, and you reached for his belt, unbuckling, unbuttoning, unzipping.

He finished the job of stripping off his pants and then he was sliding around behind you, and you were putting your hands out to brace against the table. His face was in your hair as he curved his body against your back, bringing his hands around your hips and up over your stomach until he was cupping your breasts.

He worked open the front clasp of your bra and you bit your lip as his fingertips traced over your nipples. You ground back against him and felt a rush of satisfaction when he groaned in pleasure. You tilted your head, letting your hair cascade to one side so he could have proper access to your neck, and he didn't disappoint, his tongue and lips and teeth giving you exactly what you wanted, his hands massaging your breasts and oh pinching your nipples with just the right amount of pressure.

Your hips were still swirling against him, locked in a rhythm you couldn't quite control, and then one of his hands was dipping into your panties and his fingers were sliding wetly, circling your delicious clit. And, God, it took so little time before you were cumming, hard and loud and so, so good. It would almost be embarrassing if you hadn't lost your self-consciousness about the reactions Jungkook could coax from your body long ago.

So, when he slid his fingers inside of you, you moved shamelessly against them, and when he circled your clit again, his pace ridiculously perfect, you let yourself fly over the edge once more, your mouth open in a silent cry, leaning hard against the table.

You tried to catch your breath and couldn't help a laugh. "This was supposed to be special for you" you said, straightening up and turning to face him once your legs were beginning to work again.

He breathed out an amused little huff, raising his eyebrows as he licked his lips. “And is it ever?”

You shook your head at him, smiling. You lifted his hand to your mouth and kissed his top knuckles, your tongue darting out to taste yourself on his skin, swirling around his fingertips while looking him straight in the eyes. He was breathing heavy. “What do you want, baby?” you asked hoarsely.

“Only to make you happy” he whispered. Your heart skipped a beat. Fuck, you love him so much. As if he hadn’t already. In so many ways.

“Well, baby” you said, keeping his hand in yours as you walked to the bedroom, “the only thing that could make me happier is to make you happy."

You pulled his soft Calvin Klein's boxer briefs down and ran your hands over him until he was making delicious little groans. You made him lie back on the bed and you straddled him, after discarding both the bra that was still hanging uselessly from your shoulders and your underwear for good measure. — Honestly you were very grateful to your internet research for advising you to wear them over the garter — because damn you did not want to be fumbling with that right now. 

You leaned down to kiss him, cocooning you both in the curtain of your hair, enjoying the way he smiled against your lips. JK was always give give give — it could be difficult to get him to ask for anything for himself. And with the experience that you gained with him over the last few months you could easily guess, but you wanted to encourage him to say it sometimes.

You worked your way along his jaw, scraped your teeth over his earlobe and sucked it into your mouth as he sighed. You kissed his neck and whispered, "Tell me what you want, Kook"

And apparently, you had made him just a little desperate, because this time his response was immediate.

"To be inside you" he murmured, running his hands down your thighs, "while you're wearing this" A fresh wave of heat rushed to your belly. Good God, he could easily make you cum just with his words, he makes you go crazy in a matter of seconds. 

"Now we're getting somewhere" you smiled.

You rocked back to sit up, bracing your hands on his chest as you moved your hips over him, letting him feel the slick heat of you against him. He pushed up to increase the friction and you hummed with pleasure.

When you thought you'd made him wait long enough, you let him steady you as you guided him inside, slowly, inch by inch. Your breath caught at the feel of him — and you couldn’t deny there was something especially hot about being a little dressed up for him, too.

You were sitting still on top of him, just enjoying him deep inside, and it was driving him slightly wild, his breathing full of hitches, his tongue wetting the corner of his mouth, his hands sliding down from your hips to tug playfully at your garter straps.

Finally, even you couldn't take it anymore, and you began to move, spurred on by the throaty sounds he was making, until you were matching the rhythm of the chorus in your head. Kook Kook Kook. You loved watching his face, seeing the effect you had on him as his composure slipped, but your eyes slid closed as you began building toward a peak. He felt so damn good, and he was touching you just right and it was just — it was just too goddamn much, and the world went white-hot and starry with bliss.

And then he was flipping you over carefully so he could fuck you hard into the mattress and you thrilled, wrapping your legs around him, running your silky stockings over his skin, digging into his back with your fingernails until he was cumming, too, gorgeous, and gruff and sexy as hell.

“Fuck, that was amazing” he said falling by your side and peppering your shoulder and neck with his kisses.

“As always” you said smiling at him, you felt as if you were high.

“I love you so much, baby”

“I love you even more, Kook” you said before both of you, exhausted, entered into dream land.

Sunlight was creeping around the curtains.

You blinked your eyes to clear them and saw Jungkook sleeping on his side next to you, facing away. You thought the little nap you'd snuck yesterday in would have been enough to allow you to stay up all night — playing all night long with Jungkook was your favorite activity and of course by ‘playing’ you mean, fucking —, but the exhaustion must've finally caught up to you and by the looks of it, it also had hit him too.

You felt a little guilty when you realized you had been completely hogging the blankets. JK was covered only by the sheet, and it had slipped down low enough to reveal not only the sleek muscles of his back but the beginnings of the swell of his ass.

And, damn, he was breathtaking.

Before Jungkook, you had never really understood just how sublime the physical could be. You had been in good shape throughout your life, you knew there was some joy in training your body, working up a sweat, making the shot. You'd never considered yourself prudish. But JK took things to a whole different level.

And it wasn't just his body, though it was the most beautiful you'd ever seen, of any gender. The sight of him made you understand why sculptors chiseled monuments in marble — that ass needed to be preserved for future generations. Not that it would ever compare to the real thing.

It was the way he moved that got to you the most. Always had. The way his tattooed hands moved, the way his tongue slid over his lips. The glide of his muscles as he punched and kicked and jumped whenever he was boxing or training. The way they flexed and stretched under your hands as you made love.

And, damn, now you really wanted to touch him. But you knew he was drained from all the work he had put on his presentation and finally he was done with it, he desperately needed rest after the week he'd had.

With a sigh of reluctant determination, you rolled over to face the other direction, burrowing down into the covers and trying to calm yourself down.

All too soon, though, the bed was moving as JK shifted and rolled over. A tiny smile turned up the corners of your lips as his welcome warmth pressed against your back.

"Your impure thoughts are making it a little hard to sleep, baby" he whispered in your ear, his voice drowsy. His hand started a lazy journey, finding your body bare beneath your t-shirt — well, actually, his oversized t-shirt that you’ve declared as yours a few months ago —, his fingers splaying wide over your stomach.

"You're a mind reader now, too?" you asked. You were impressed at how smoothly your voice came out, given how your body was responding so ardently to his touch. You arched back and felt him hard against your backside — Fuck, he’s gonna be the dead of me —. You clearly weren't the only one entertaining impure thoughts.

"I have my ways" he said smugly, his hand continuing to roam, his fingers finally sliding down and into the wetness between your thighs. You inhaled sharply, your eyes closing and your toes curling.

It was the way he moved that always got to you the most.

Once he had you practically whimpering, he murmured, "What do you want, baby?"

"You" you panted. "Just...you."

He let out a groan that was almost a growl and adjusted both of your positions so that he could slip inside of you. You moved together in a way that was unhurried and rich with sensation, the sun warm and the sheets slippery around you.

Both your heart and your body were full of him, and when you came, it was a gentle hum, a long slow wave that made you smile. Jungkook gripped you tightly as he followed.

“Just so you know, you can have what you want at any time” he said into your hair as he caught his breath.

“Be careful, Jeon. I’ll hold you to that”

He laughed. “Sounds like we’re both going to get what we want, then baby”

You wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Hey Y/N. Haven’t seen you in a while” you hear a familiar voice from behind you while you were busy starting your warmup exercises.

“Oh! Hi Ethan” you say once you spot him near you “Yeah, work has been kicking my ass lately, so I wasn’t able to make time to come to the gym”

“Sorry to hear that” he says offering you a smile “So, I take it now things are calmer at your job?”

“Yeah, thank God it is quite calmer, I think I’ll be able to be normal for a few months” you say chuckling “There’s always some periods where it gets crazy but I’m a little used to it by now” you explain yourself while Ethan hears you carefully.

He nods at you and say “I haven’t seen your boyfriend either these past weeks”

He never mentioned Jungkook before. That’s weird. Is he trying to subliminally ask if you are still with JK? Though Ethan never made a move on you – despite what Jungkook might say – you’re careful enough to not give him any type of hope, you maintain a short conversation from time to time and continue with your workout routine. That’s all. You don’t want to create any confusion here and you made clear that you have a boyfriend and so did Jungkook when he kissed you in front of Ethan.

“He’s been pretty busy with work too so he has been working out at his place lately, but he should be here in a few minutes probably”

 “Oh, cool”

Are you sensing disappointment on his tone? Okay, this is starting to get a little uncomfortable, you should end the conversation now.

“Um, I think I’ll start with the treadmill today. It was nice talking to you, Ethan” you say and walk over to the treadmills area after waving politely at Ethan who responded a simple “Sure, see you Y/N” while smiling at you.

Just when you were about to start your exercise, Jungkook arrived with furrowed eyebrows after seeing the little interaction between Ethan and you.

That guy is always near you. Why does he have to be always around? - he thinks to himself -.

Once you spot JK coming your way, your face brightens, and you almost run towards him. You put your arms around his neck and kiss him deeply.

He hums in delight “Mmmh, someone missed me”

“I did” you look at him with puppy eyes and ask while pouting “Did you not miss me?”

“I would have to be damn crazy to not miss you, gorgeous”

You start giggling at his words. Butterflies setting free on your belly as usual.

“Though, I see I’m not the only one that missed you” he says with a certain tone that you don’t really like.

“What do you mean?” you ask with furrowed eyebrows.

“Ethan”

“Jungkook we’ve been through this a hundred times. He just came up to me to say hi and we had a small talk, nothing important”

“Come on, noona. You really can’t be that naive”

“I’m not naive” you cross your arms and Jungkook already gulps knowing that he might have said the wrong thing, as usual his impulsiveness winning over him. “We just talked, and he didn’t say anything out of line, like every other time that we talked. Could you please trust me? I don’t want to have this talk over and over”

“I trust you, baby. I’m sorry. I love you, you know that, right?”

You nod and respond “I love you too” while he grabs you by the waist and gives you a little peck on the lips.

A few minutes later and not too far from where you were exercising, you didn’t even realize that Ethan couldn’t get his eyes off you. Well, is not like you could see him from the treadmill area, there was plenty gym equipment between you two, and you were totally absorbed having a talk with your boyfriend about how both of your days went.

“God, she wants you so bad” suddenly a feminine voice wakes up Ethan from his trance.

“Huh?” he says and as soon as he sees the source of the voice he continues “Oh. It’s you. I thought you were frequenting another gym”

“I do, depending on the location that my dad is currently working. You know the drill” says Lina before continuing “Anyways, as I was telling you before, Y/N wants you, Ethan”

“How the hell would you know?”

“I know her. I’m a friend of hers”

“You are? I never saw you talking to her”

“I haven’t seen Y/N in a while, but I know her enough. I can give you some advice to get her to be all yours” says Lina smiling and putting the best of her actings “Though I don’t think you have to work a lot for that, she just likes to play hard to get, if you know what I mean?”

“She does? She didn’t strike me as that kind of girl. Plus, she has a boyfriend” he says pointing towards Jungkook that’s right beside you.

“Please, since when you’re the jealous type?”

“You’re right about that, if she doesn’t care I really don’t give a fuck about him” confesses Ethan “And she’s so fine, I can’t wait to fuck her”.

“Trust me, I know exactly what you have to do to accomplish that” says Lina with a mischievous smile.

Meanwhile, Jungkook and you were in your little world, without imagining that only a few meters away, Lina was planning how to wreck you both apart.

Is your love for each other strong enough to survive the tsunami that Lina was about to unleash upon yourselves?

Emma had chosen Aria, her sister, a college friend, and you to be her bridesmaids. Her sister being the maid of honor.

Joey had chosen Namjoon, his brother, Jungkook and Hobi to be his groomsmen. Namjoon being his best man. You were happy that Jungkook was one of the groomsmen, he’ll be your partner in crime at the wedding too.

You find yourself salivating every time you imagine him on whatever the suit is for the occasion. Emma told you she was in love of the suits she chose for the groomsmen and that they all were going to look like proper models. Though, Jungkook looks like a model even when he’s just wearing simple t-shirt and sweatpants.

You kept thinking to yourself that even if you haven’t known each other for ages, Emma and Aria had become one of your closest friends in these past months, you would see each other at least once a week to catch up on what’s going on with your lives and you would also be super active on your group chat sharing memes and stupid news that you saw on the internet that made you all laugh.

Today was an important day for all of you, especially for Emma. You had a fitting of Emma’s wedding dress. It almost has her in tears.

“It’s so beautiful” she says, standing at the pedestal and staring at her reflection in the mirror. Tears prick the backs of her eyes as she takes in the entire dress. It sits perfectly on her body, comfortable and not restrictive in the slightest, which she is thankful for.

It’s a blush pink color, the upper bodice sits flush against her body, sewn with hand embroidered flowers all over it. The flowers flow down to the skirt of the dress, which flares out from her upper hips. There’s intricate embroidery along the bottom of the dress as well that just brings the entire thing together.

Emma is absolutely in love with it.

“Wow, what a beautiful bride!” you exclaim as you exit your own changing room.

Emma catches your gaze in the mirrors that she stands in front of. “Oh my God, Y/N! You look fantastic!”

You grin and gesture to the aubergine-colored dress you’re wearing. “This old thing?” you tease her for a moment. “I’m glad it’s something that looks this good and is comfy too. I’d never forgive you if you put me in something as ridiculous as a Princess Leia inspired dress”

Emma rolls her eyes affectionately and chuckles. “I’d never do that to you, I can’t believe that your last time being a bridesmaid was in a Star Wars themed wedding, God I would have paid to see the photos of that wedding” you both laugh like idiots and Emma continues “Besides, all of the bridesmaids are matching”

“All jokes aside, I really love the choice you did with the bridesmaid dresses, and your dress is just stunning, Emma”

“Stop it! Lately I’ve been so emotional over the wedding, I’ll start crying if you keep talking”

 “I’m just stating the truth, sweetie”

Emma smiles at you and then she says “I don’t know why but I have this feeling that you’ll be the next one standing over this pedestal trying on wedding dresses”

You choke on your own saliva while Emma snickers at your nervous behavior “Where’s the champagne? I need a drink” you say, looking around, acting like she didn’t say nothing — not that you didn’t think on going down that road with Jungkook, but it’s still a pretty early stage of your relationship — “And where’s Aria? I thought she’d be in her dress by now.”

“It was still too big on her” Emma replies, turning her gaze back to her reflection. She can’t stop touching the dress. It’s just wonderful. “So, she’s getting it altered with the tailor in the other room.”

“More champagne, ladies?” Arin, the shop assistant asks. She’s carrying a tray with three champagne glasses on it.

“Leave the bottle, please” you say with a grin. Arin nods and sets the tray down. She returns a moment later with the bottle and sets it down on the tray, too. You chug one glass and refill it before bringing a fresh one over to Emma.

“Well. What do you think?” she asks, accepting the glass from you. “Am I ready to get married?”

“I’d say so, yeah” you reply. “You look fit as fuck, sweetie I’ve to say it. Like a princess, too.”

Emma beams. “That was the goal”

“I have to pee, the champagne is doing its effect pretty quickly, back in a few” you say chuckling. You disappear, leaving Emma standing on the little platform in front of the mirror.

She bites her lip, turning her body from side to side as she takes in the dress yet again. She feels like her entire relationship with Joey has been leading up to this very moment. And she can’t wait.

Soon, she will legally be Joey’s wife. That prospect excites her so much. She’s absolutely giddy at the thought.

They’re getting married soon and there are still a lot of things left to do before the wedding can take place which all of the bridesmaids are helping as much as possible, including you.

One of those things left to do is getting Aria’s bridesmaid dress altered properly so that she can wear it.

Emma turns as she catches sight of Aria in the reflection of the mirror. She grins when Aria stops short and just gapes at her.

“Emma” she breathes. “Holy fuck!”

Emma beams once again. “I know, right?”

“Joey is going to die when he sees you” Aria says. “God, you look like a fairy tale princess.”

Emma can’t stop smiling. “I never want to take this dress off”

“I’m not surprised. You look amazing.”

“Thank you” Emma says. “You look fantastic, too. I’m so glad that your dress finally fits you!”

Aria gives her a small smile. “It’s not my fault I don’t have hips, or tits, and no bum. It hung on me like a potato sack for ages, but it finally fits”

Emma steps down off the platform and closes the distance between them. “You look beautiful. I’m so glad we chose two shades of purple to have the bridesmaids in. Because this lilac-color really brings out your eyes”

Aria ducks her head, blushing.

“Holy fuck!” you exclaim as you appear.

“Tell me how pretty I am” says Aria

“Ari, you know that you look spectacular” you say.

Emma is so happy with all the dresses; they definitely are the ones. “Good.” She then lets out a huge sigh. “I guess I had better take this off then. Next week my sister and Andy will be in Seoul, so they’ll be able to try out the dresses too”.

Andy is Emma’s college friend, both Emma’s sister and Andy live in London — where Emma and Joey are originally from — so, there’s a few maid of honor tasks that both Aria and you have been fulfilling in order for the wedding to come up perfectly because it was almost impossible for her sister to come earlier to Seoul and handle everything by herself.

“Such a hardship” Aria teases.

“For that you get no champagne” Emma says, poking her tongue out at her friend. She grabs her glass and has a long sip, keeping her gaze on you and Aria the entire time. “Wow, you really needed that drink, don’t you?” Aria teases once again.

“Getting married is stressful as fuck, I always feel like a need a drink” and you all laugh in unison.

Once you’re all out of the dresses and are in your everyday clothes again, Emma feels decidedly less like a princess, and more like someone who is on the verge of being very tipsy if she isn’t careful.

She isn’t careful. She has another glass of champagne just because she can.

“I love you both so much” Emma says when you stop on the floor of your apartment. Emma leans heavily on the wall next to your front door and pats at your arm. “Thank you for letting me keep my dress here. I don’t want Joey to see it before the big day”

“Of course, sweetie” you say as you unlock the door. “That’s what friends are for.”

“You guys are the besht. Besht. Besht. Beshtest?” she furrows her brow, confused.

“You’re so drunk” you say, sounding amused. “This is great”

“I am not” Emma protests. She sways a little on the spot as she pushes off the wall. “But I do need to sit down”

You lead Emma into your flat with the help of Aria, holding her hand the entire time until Emma is sitting down on your sofa. She pats at the soft cushions and smiles.

“How much did you have to drink?” Aria asks snickering at her friend. She presses a glass of water into Emma’s hand and orders her to drink.

Emma holds up three fingers. Then the other two. And giggles. She sips at her water, trying her very hardest not to dribble, or to spill any on herself. Or the sofa. Which is so soft. How has she not noticed how soft this sofa is before?

“Yes, we get it, you like my sofa” you say. Emma looks up at you, confused. “You said that out loud” you explain to your drunk friend.

“Oops” Emma giggles. She puts her glass down on the coffee table with as much care as she can.

“Get some rest, Emma” you say, patting Emma’s hand. Emma pats your hand, too. That seems like fun. — Your hands are surprisingly soft, thinks Emma to herself— “Your hands feel like porcelain, Y/N” she says out of nowhere.

“That’s your own hand you’re patting, Emma” you say, showing Emma your own hands. “That champagne must’ve had more alcohol in it than I thought.”

Emma nods and tips over on the sofa, giggling as its softness touches her cheek. In a few minutes she’s snoring, and you and Aria can’t help but to laugh.

You prepare coffee for yourselves and sit over your balcony so Emma can sleep quietly, and you both could have a nice chit chat meanwhile.

“So, how was the celebration of the 10th month anniversary?” asks Aria once you hand her the mug.

“Oh, perfect, spectacular, marvelous. And so, so hot” you beam at the memory of that amazing night last week with your boyfriend.

“I mean, when you sent us the picture of the lingerie you bought for the occasion it was pretty damn hard not to think it was going to be a steamy night” she said chuckling.

“It was amazing, though we were so tired that we didn’t last that long” you giggle “But we did have fun for a few hours”

“A few hours? What is supposed to mean ‘last long’ for you two? God you two must be beasts on the bed”

“Actually, he’s the beast but he’s so fucking hot that it makes impossible not to want to fuck him all night long”

“Oh my God, Y/N. You’re salivating, stop it!”

“Sorry, it seems like I do that a lot. Chris always scolds me for drooling over Jungkook”

Aria giggles. “Talking about Chris, how is he doing with…? Irene was it her name?”

You nod at her and say “He’s happy, I’ve met her a few times at Chris’s place and she’s really sweet honestly. I think you’ll love her when you meet her”

“I’m so happy for him. But I really want to meet her, I’m curious finally someone snatched Chris’s heart, that’s not an easy task”

You smile thinking about your best friend and remembering the day when he told you that he had asked Irene to be his girlfriend and that she had said yes. He was so excited, he looked like a little kid.

“Not an easy task at all. But I can see a mile away that she loves him a lot and seeing him this happy it’s comforting, he deserves someone like her. I’m sure you’ll meet her at the wedding. Knowing Chris, he’s just taking things slow with her, that’s why you all haven’t met her yet”

“You know, you’re such a good friend. I always meant to tell you this, the way you care about Chris and all of us — not only JK —, you irradiate so much love to the ones around you, Y/N”

“Jeez, are you trying to get me emotional?” you say feeling your heart getting too warm to the point that your eyes might start watering. “I think Emma’s sensibility is getting contagious”

Aria smiles at you and says “It’s the truth, sweetie”

“Thank you but you give me too much credit. You have been all so amazing with me since the very beginning, me caring about all of you this much is just me trying to return some of the love you all have been showering me with”

She smiles at you fondly and you engulf in a tight hug until you hear a “Hey – I want a hug too” coming from your sofa and you both laugh at Emma’s drunk ass.

You were almost done getting ready to go over to JK’s apartment when your doorbell rang, you had texted him a few minutes ago letting him know that you’re on your way.

Once you open the door, your eyebrows furrow at the sight in front of you. Ethan.

He doesn’t even give you time to ask him how the hell is he at your doorstep when you never gave him your address. His strong arms pulled you towards his body and his hands quickly cupped your face crashing his lips on yours.

Your eyes widened. You didn’t understand what is happening right now. Has he lost his mind? You react pretty fast despite your initial shock and pull him away from you. His arms go to your waist, holding you close to him, and you try to take his hands off you but fail miserably.

“What the fuck is your problem?” you almost scream while cleaning any trace of his saliva out of your lips with the back of your hand.

“I was told you liked to play hard to get. Don’t worry I can’t handle you, doll”

“Doll? Are you crazy, Ethan? I’m not playing a- “

You get shut up by his lips on yours once again. He’s touching your body and you feel disgusted. He’s clearly stronger than you and you’re scared what he might do because this is not the innocent and shy guy you used to talk at the gym, it’s like he’s an entirely different person.

You somehow manage to push him away and you look around trying to grab something to hit him and take him out of your apartment, there’s nothing you could possible grab quickly so as soon as you see him taking steps closer to you again, you gather all your strength and punch his face with a left jab – just like Jungkook had taught you when you told him you were curious about boxing – though you might have done it wrong because as soon as your fist landed on his face, you felt a crack on your hand and an intense stinging pain.

“What the fuck?” groaned Ethan while putting his hands on his face – as if he was the one shocked -, his nose was bleeding profusely

“You better get the fucking out of my apartment Ethan, or I swear to God I’ll scream bloody murder for someone to call the police”

Ethan gives you a last look – he looks genuinely shocked, is he for real? He’s the one surprised? He’s definitely crazy - before stepping out from your apartment mumbling what you think was a “Fuck – this hurts”

As soon as he was out of your apartment you quickly closed the door, making sure to put every lock on it. You sit against the door unable to understand what the fuck has just happened, your heart is beating so fast that you feel it’s gonna rip out of your rib cage in any moment, your hand is throbbing so bad that it’s almost unbearable, and the pain is increasing by the second.

You need to get to the doctor ASAP, but first you need to know how the hell did Ethan know where you lived, and you could only think of one person to help you with this.

You grabbed your bag and peep to see if there’s any signs of Ethan outside. No one is there. Great. Time to go out.

“Hey Y/N! I wasn’t expecti- “

Jackson cuts his own words when he sees your distress face and that you’re holding your left hand with help of the right one, it’s clear that you’ve somehow injured. At this point, your left hand starts to feel numb, the pain not going away at all. “What happened?”

 “Are you okay?” asks Amy by his side and worried as well

“Ethan happened” you respond to Jackson and then you look towards Amy “Honestly I’m not okay, my hand is aching like a bitch”

“What? He did this to you?” says Jackson surprised – you can’t blame him; you were as surprised as him with Ethan’s behavior – and you just shake your head “I kinda did this to myself when I punched him in the face”

Jackson’s face has a question mark drawn all over it by now and you continue talking while sighing “That’s why I’m here. Jackson, is there any way that he could possibly had access to my information? I never gave him my address to begin with but somehow, he ended up at my doorstep”

“He shouldn’t have, it’s illegal to pull confidential information about the clients, but I guess that’s possible if he somehow got to Amy’s computer” says Jackson turning his head towards an outraged Amy and now speaking to her “Check when the last time is that someone accessed Y/N’s information and we’ll check the cameras to see who it was”

“On it” says Amy turning her body quickly towards the computer.

Jackson takes a few steps closer to you and softly grabs your left hand. You hiss and he mumbles a soft “Sorry”. After checking it, he says “I’m no doctor but it’s possible that you broke your hand, it’s already swealing up too much, you need to go to the hospital right now. You want me to go with you or maybe I can call JK?”

“Don’t worry about it, the hospital is near JK’s house, I’ll go over to his place and then to the doctor”

“Okay. Listen, I’ll talk to my boss about this, even if we found out that Ethan wasn’t the one to pull your information, I’ll make sure that his access to the gym gets revoked, so you don’t have to deal with him here anymore”

 “Thank you so much Jackson, I’ll get going”

You exchanged greetings with Amy who was still checking the information from the computer. You had called an Uber a few minutes ago and Jackson offered to walk you out to the car – just to be safe he said -, even though you don’t think that Ethan is going to show up but then again, you never thought that he could be capable of showing up at your place and trying to force you into kissing him.

“I’ll let you know once we found out if someone pulled the information from our data base”

You nod at him and give him a quick hug before he shuts the car’s door of your Uber. You need to see your boyfriend right now.

Anger is all he can feel. He’s seeing red. He feels like a fool, like an idiot. Once again, seems like history is re-repeating. Always the same ending.

His doorbell rings announcing you’re here. He exhales trying to compose himself and he goes towards the entrance to open the door.

You sigh at the sight of your boyfriend. Finally.

“Hi baby. Sorry I took long to get here”

He scoffs while turning away and walking towards his living room without giving you a kiss “Yeah, I’m pretty sure what had you busy”

You follow his steps sensing his weird behavior “Is there something wrong?” you ask with furrowed eyebrows

“I don’t know, Y/N” says Jungkook with an unrecognizable tone. He proceeds to grab his phone and shove the screen right up your face surprising you “You tell me”

Pictures of Ethan kissing you. You only got a glimpse of the screen and saw that an unknown number had sent him the pictures along with a message saying, “You should know that your little girlfriend has been having fun for a while with Ethan”.

You froze in place. Your mind was spiraling. Was it all orchestrated by Ethan and someone else?

“I can explain it”

“Explain what? That you’re just the same as Lina and my ex? That you’re a slut? That you’ve been cheating on me? The guy is at your place, at your fucking apartment, Y/N! Since when has these been going on, huh? How many more beds have you been jumping on?” he screams at you.

You feel a pang in your chest. As if he’s taking your heart with his hand and slowly squeezing it. He’s spitting venom. You don’t even recognize him anymore. You don’t even think when your right-hand slaps him right on the face to stop him talking shit about you.

Tears are falling nonstop from your eyes when Jungkook turns to look at you with his eyes wide open. Did you really slap him?

He knows he went too far, while he was spitting all his venom on you, he saw how your face twisted in pain, but he’s fucking angry, and he can’t stop repeating in his mind that fucking image of Ethan and you kissing each other.

“Is that what you think about me after 10 fucking months together? After I confided to you how much it fucked me up that my dad cheated on my mum?”

He stays silent for a bit, probably unsure what to say.

“You see this?” You lift your left hand with all the pain stinging right through you, your hand is swelled up to its maximum now and Jungkook’s eyes almost pop out of his head seeing you injured, he instinctively steps closer to grab it and you take a step back “This is what happened after Ethan barged in my place and kissed me out of nowhere. I punched his face so hard that I probably broke something in my hand. But I guess no one sent you that picture, huh?”

Jungkook is frozen. He immediately forgets all of the anger he felt two seconds ago and just looks at you with big, scared eyes while your words slowly sink in and realizes he made a terrible mistake. He’s about to speak but you cut him off before he can say anything.

“It took longer to me to get here because I went to the gym to talk to Jackson because it’s the only place where Ethan could have pulled my address information, I never gave it to him”

He fucked up. Big time. He was so absorbed in the discussion but as soon as you explained what happened it feels like all energy is sucked out of him.

“But hey - good thing now I know what you really think about me”

 “Baby, I-I’m- “. His voice sounding a little shaky. He starts to tear up all of the sudden.

“Don’t, Jungkook” you cut him off once again “You do realize that when I saw Lina kissing you at that night club you weren’t even my boyfriend, but I had let you explain what did really happen that night and I fucking believed you. We have been together for almost a year, and you didn’t even let me talk, you just figured out that what makes sense it’s that I’m…” you gulp, and more tears fall on your cheeks before continuing “…a slut”

Jungkook looks at you defeated with watery eyes before more tears start to slip from his eyes and he hastily wipes them away.

“I’m so s-sorry baby I wasn’t thinking clearly, it was an impulse. I-I was so angry an-“

“Save it. I’m done” you say with the coldest tone ever. He steps closer to you wanting to hug you and you shake your head and lift your right hand stopping him before the most painful words that you’ve ever said come out of your lips “I’m breaking up with you”  

“What? No, d-don’t say that, you don’t mean it”

“I mean every part of it. I’m done with you, Jungkook. And I’m done with us”

“N-no, please baby, let’s talk this through”

“Talk? You already made it pretty clear what you think about me. You don’t trust me; you never did, and I fucking knew it all this time. If you did trust me, you would have listened my explanation and not just assume that I was cheating on you”

You begin to turn your heels to leave the apartment when Jungkook suddenly stops you and hugs your body.

 “Let go of me, Jungkook”

“N-no”

“Let-me-go” you beg – even if you feel how your heart is breaking slowly – “You’re making it so hard for me to leave—” you cry in his arms and he feels like shit, he feels like an asshole for making you suffer, he can’t stand seeing you like this.

“Then don’t leave. Stay” he softly says cupping your face, but you can’t even look him in the eyes. Not after hearing all the shit that he said about you, you can’t see him the same way you did before.

With your only good hand you grab his and remove it from your face. You take some steps away from him and say “It’s not going to work out. I know because I’ve gone through this before. I’m doing us a favor”

He bursts crying even more. His body spasming. He is hurting. You both are.

You love him so deeply that you’re feeling like all the air is being sucked from your lungs, but you also know where your boundaries are settled. You have been through this in previous experiences, and you don’t want to repeat your mistakes. Did he ever love you? How could you say such things to someone you love? – your mind is definitely ruining you.

Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase, a simple fight can turn into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.

Your heart is scattered all over the place. You don’t even know how you’ll be able to pick up the pieces or if it’s going to be possible at all to even reassemble it.

“Don’t do this, please. I love you Y/N” he pleads hoping that you believe his words, that you see how hopelessly in love he is because he really means every word he said. But your next words feel like a stab right through his heart.

“I don’t think you know what loving someone means”

With that being said, you turned your heels and walked out of Jungkook’s apartment.

The moment you step out of it, he broke crying on his knees. He knew it the moment he saw your eyes full of tears, he knew it when you said you were breaking up with him.

He knew he had lost you.

Previous | Next

[phoenixstark1708]

the daughter of an archangel

chapter 1

sooo..... this is my backstory in my marvel DR, major trigger warnings, this also crosses over into supernatural later, but i havent even written that yet.

trigger warnings: abuse, torture, blood, death, fucked up timeline, etc.

pairings: later will be sam/dean winchester, and even later will be bucky,

in this, endgame/inf war doesnt happen, i took plenty of creative liberties.

summary: (this is written in first-person) phoenix is a girl who was created by the nazi organization HYDRA, and she meets the winter soldier on a mission, i cant say much more without spoiling future chapters. will try to proofread but no promises.

word count: 2,654/10,649 - that ive written so far.

change of POV's will be indicated

“Get up you stupid pig!” the guard said, in a thick Russian accent, banging the cell door with his truncheon. He shone a flashlight in my eyes, making them burn from the lack of light for the past two days. I stretched out my sore muscles, wincing from the scabbed-over cuts all over my body. After days of no contact with anyone, just me and the cold, dark cell. Somehow being dragged away for training almost feels like a blessing. I stood and allowed him to cuff me. at this point, I know the drill. “so, Angel, how was your weekend?” He asked while holding my shoulder, guiding me out of the cell – the only place I’ve known as home for my whole life – literally. I was born in the damned bullpen. My mother died during birth, I guess having twins really had her beat.

On the way to the hell chamber – sorry, training room - I saw him, I saw Benjamin. For the first time in weeks, I saw my twin. He looked rough. Probably just had a sparring sesh with one of the winter soldiers. he’s always been smaller than me, But there was something different. he seemed especially weak. I haven’t eaten anything in what I assume has been around 4 days. He probably hasn’t either. They were always doing this, trying to weed out the weaker members. Its grim, but I knew he would die soon. It was clear that I was stronger, and if it came down to it, I would kill him without a second thought. After all, that’s how I was trained. I was bred, raised, and trained to be ruthless. And that is the only reason that I am still alive. HYDRA has no room for error.

As I walked into the training room, I saw the winter soldier, long, brunette hair, with a metal arm. The only time ive ever seen him is in cryo-sleep, he looked so peaceful, so harmless. The man standing before me was soemthing different entirely. His eyes were blue as ice, and just as cold. He looked right through me, almost like a drone. “this is her first mission. You will be supervising her.” he hands the man with a metal arm a file containing four pictures of senator james martin, whos been a public neusence for hydra for a while. The winter soldier grabbed me by the arm and dragged me through the door.

It was a quiet drive on the Harley, at the moment, we were just n full assassin gear. My small arms were wrapped around his waist, making him clearly tense up. His metal arm was glinting in the moonlight as we pulled into a nearby parking garage, a birdseye view of the gathering senator martin. “I will stay up here while you go inside. As many casualties as possible. No survivors.” He said gruffly, setting up the rifle. “They won’t let me in. I’m wearing a costume.” I said, my voice gravelly from days of no use. He glanced down at me for the first time, and gazed at me for a moment, before pulling out a T-shirt that had the senators face on it, and a pair of grey sweatpants. “Change into these, keep your weapons concealed until my signal.” I quickly stripped. he turned away, giving me privacy. I was more then used to being watched, so this was surprising. I fixed the too-large clothes, and looked harmless. Instead of looking like an eight-year-old assassin, I looked like a normal kid.

There was something in the winter soldier’s eyes that I didn’t recognise, almost like affection. I walked down the stairs of the parking garage, feeling his eyes on me the whole way. Slowly, I crossed the street, nearly getting hit by a truck that I didn’t know to look for. As I made my way to the entrance of the granite building, I noticed trucks outside, like the kind I saw at my home, - armoured trucks. I, of course thought this was normal. “Careful, there are hostiles in the building. Captain America and the black widow are protecting the target.” His voice came through my earpiece. “I don’t know who they are” I whispered back. “You will. They won’t want to hurt you, use that to your advantage.” And with that, he went radio silent.

As I walked barefoot through the large doors, I spotted a woman in a similar outfit to what I wear, only without the red skull. She spotted me immediately, and I tried to disappear through the crowd. I was unsuccessful. A man in a red, white, and blue uniform grabbed my arm gently, holding a shield in his other hand. “Who are you kid?” He peered down at me “I’m here to see my daddy.” I said, feigning panic. I pulled my arm out of his grasp and ran toward a random man, tugging on his shirt. Shield guy turned away before he could see the man push me away. I stayed by him, trying to convince the people that he was my father. I got a little turned around, when a perverted looking man grabbed my wrist “hey sweetheart. You’re gonna come with me now.” He said, his voice just as weird as him. The man in the jumpsuit put his hand on his shoulder “why dontcha leave the girl alone pal.” He dragged him away.

Just then, his signal came, by shooting the senator in the gut, taking him down. The panic set in immediately. People running around screaming like headless chickens. The man with the metal arm burst through the door, sealing off the only accesable exit. I grabbed the first person I saw, they just happened to be the senators daughter. She couldn’t have been more then seventeen; I snapped her neck. I unfurled my wings and tripped some old man with them. I stabbed him in his corroded artery, a fatal blow. Killing got easier the more I did it.

The fight went on like this for a while, until the red-haired woman pushed me to the ground “stay down kid.” seeing me pinned down, the man i was on the mission with began to make his way over to me. I waved my hand, and the woman went flying, hitting the wall with a thud. Oh yea, something I forgot to mention; I'm not a normal person. In addition to having my DNA spliced with the peregrine falcon, giving me wings, and the ability to fly, I was also experimented on with energy from the soul stone, one of the six infinity stones. Ergo, I had ‘powers’. The winter soldier stared at me, shocked, his brief moment of distraction caused him to get a wooden chair to the head. He shot the dude that hit him.

The man in the flag costume, and the woman ran. Smart. Tactical retreat. I ran to every person I saw, and killed as many as I could. Once we were sure that there were no more targets, the winter soldier grabbed me, and threw me on the motorcycle behind him.

We stopped at a motel that charged by the hour… if that tells you anything. “we will stay here for a while. You need to get clean, I know that the hoses hurt.” he said, a hint of compassion in his voice. Hes right. They used fire hoses to ‘clean up’ whenever any of us got dirty. I walked into the bathroom and stripped. I didn’t close the door, because I assumed I wasn’t allowed to. I didn’t know how to use the shower so I just sort of stared at it, waiting for it to turn on. The man walked in, turned the handle of the shower, and left. I jumped when water started to spurt out of the faucet. I stepped into the water slowly, gauging the temperature before completely immersing myself into it. My muscles involuntarily relaxed at the sensation of the warm water. I began rubbing the dirt off of my limbs when the winter soldier walked in.

He didn’t look at me, but made a damp washcloth and started cleaning his wounds. They were worse then I assumed, and I coudnt help but observe him while washing the rest of the dirt off of my body. I only sustained minor cuts and bruises in the fight, but he had deep lacerations on his face, presumably from the chair. I stepped out of the shower and stood there, a towering three-foot-seven-inches, short for my age. He glanced at me and handed me a towel while dabbing his wounds “whats this for?” I asked “dry yourself. They will notice our absence if were not back soon.” so, I dried myself off, and put on my uniform, running my fingers over the red skull with tentacles, like a squid. I giggled, imaging it wiggling its tentacles.

Bucky

The little girl was looking at her uniform, giggling. For a moment I thought of two young girls in brooklyn. I was a teenager with sisters… what? No, I wasn’t. I am a weapon for hydra. Whats going on? I was steadily bleeding from the prick who hit me with a chair, we needed to get back to base. She suddenly looked up at me, concern evident in her sweet, blue eyes. “are- are you okay? You're bleeding,” she frowned. “Let me help you. I can make people feel better.” I skeptically sat on a bed near where she was standing. She slowly reached over to me; I shied away when her hand got close to my wound, remembering the various punishments I've had over the years. I am a wild animal. I need to be controlled. She looked into my eyes, the child-like glimmer long gone. It's unfair; all children should have that. No. She is not a child; she is a weapon. That’s it- like me. She gently laid her small hand on my head near the cut. All of the sudden her eyes started glowing, a certain gold color I'd never seen before. Her hands began glowing the same, and my head started tingling.

I immediately felt better. I can't explain it, but she somehow lodged herself into my memory, unintentionally. And I knew I would never forget her. She looked at me worried, noting the glazed look in my eyes. “are you alright? I'm sorry if I hurt yo-” I cut her off “My name is Bucky,” I blurted out; I had no idea where that came from. “You need to call me Winter, or ‘the winter soldier’, otherwise they’ll kill us both” she looked at me confused and alarmed “okay… I will” “we need to go back.” so I took her small hand, gently, and led her to the HYDRA-issued motorcycle we came here on. The drive back to base was cold. I could feel it in my bones. I couldn’t help but wish I could help her warm up. I didn’t know what I was feeling, but I knew HYDRA wouldn’t like it. I am a machine. Not a man.

I rode up to the gate “солдат?” soldier? “миссия успешна. приветствую гидру.” mission successful. hail hydra. The gate opened, and we rode into the garage. She was immediately ripped off the back of the bike and dragged away. “you are late. The camera in your suit shows you made a ‘pit stop’. She had an effect on you. You will both be heavily punished for this.” no. I practically jumped off the bike. I grabbed the mans neck and snapped it before being sedated. The last thing I heard before I got knocked out was “well, after we make them watch, we’ll have to wipe him again.” I woke up strapped to a modified autopsy table. Modified so I was reclined enough so that I had a clear view of the girl. And she had a clear view of me. One of the doctors walked in with an array of surgical instruments “doctor- sorry- creator! Thank goodness! I was scared we were taken by the bad people!” the little girls face lit up with relief. The doctor sighed and placed his kit on a surgical tray, the knives clattering against the cold steel. “child, птичий урод.” bird-freak “you have been very bad. And you know what happens to bad children.” he put on surgical gloves, and picked up a Sickle Probe, the device that dentists use. He walked toward her slowly “creator, im sorry! It was a mistake! Please. Im sorry” she cried out. however, she didn’t struggle against the restraints. “it is too late to apologise freak. You will be punished.” “yes sir.” she slumped against the autopsy table, keeping her fear-filled eyes on the doctor. He walked up to her small body, and turned off the magnetic cuff, allowing her arm to fall. The monster grabbed her arm, and stuck the hook of the sickle probe into the inside of her elbow. She began silently crying from the pain, blood slowly dribbling from the wound. He slowly dragged the hook down her arm, toward her wrist, tearing her skin. The blood was flowing heavily now, and he was trying to stifle her cries. After reaching her wrist, he put the probe down and picked up a rusty razorblade.

He moved to her chest, and drug the blade down her sternum, and to her lower stomache. She was crying freely now. “heal yourself.” she did as she was told, her eyes glowing gold, and the wounds shimmering as they healed instantly. He grabbed a klein tool – essentially a broader pliers. He walked to her bare feet, and clamped down on her small toe. He bent it to a sickening angle, causing the bone to snap with a disturbing CRACK. She screamed. He used the wire-clipping part of the klein tool to cut off a patch or skin on her foot. He grabbed a knife, and made slow, deep, and deliberate cuts all over her body. After nearly an hour, he decided hed had enough of that. he only reason she was still alive was because she wasn’t fully human – she couldn’t have been. “heal. Now. Not your foot though. You will deal with that.” she did as she was told. She was exhausted. She collapsed against the table before he shocked her with a set of jumper cables rigged up to a car battery. While watching this, I struggled against the restraints so much, my wrist began to bleed. Every time I screamed for them to let her go, my restraints would get an electrical charge. I was muzzled like a dog. Reminding me that I am no better then one. I am one. She screamed every time he cut her, shocked her, stabbed her, or tore the skin off her flesh. When she screamed, the building would shake. Not figuratively either.

She was clearly more powerful than she could see. She could easily kill him, she could kill everyone in this god forsaken building. HYDRA had control over her mind. But not in the same way as they had mine. They beat her down, made her feel powerless, made her think wrong is right, and right is wrong. I have to get her out of here. The doctor made his way over to me “judging by your reaction, she made an imprint on you. Well, time to forget her!” he said, laughing malevolently. “no! You cant-” I was cut off by a blow to my temple. They dragged me to the Memory Suppressing Machine. A white hot pain ripped through me. I couldn’t remember the mission, but I could remember a girl. A sweet, young girl. I knew I should protect her. As far as they're concerned, I don’t remember a thing. “Желание. Семнадцать. Ржавый. Рассвет. Печь. Девять. Добросердечный. Возвращение на родину. Один. Товарный вагон” my trigger words.

let me know if you wanna be tagged in pt2

[cafeinthemoon]

Ruins - Part XIV

Chapter 14

Wordcount 2,9k

Title Part XIV

Fandom Shuumatsu no Valkyrie / Record of Ragnarok

Previous chapters

1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . 12 . 13

Symbols ⭕ . ➕ . 💛

Warnings: none

Tagging @holdyourwine @lilacshouko (If you want to be tagged in any of my stories, just leave a comment on this chapter or send an ask or a message)

N. A.: Somehow I feel this one is more of a chapter of transition, a calm passage between two important points of the story: the party when everything is settled and the future of Hades and reader's relationship. There are no great changes or events in it, if you don't count the curious revelation on Loki's part, but I hope you like it :)

Both gods and humans agreed that the party of that year was memorable, so much that it was the main subject of the conversations for days after.

Since the guardianship period didn’t end with it, the gods and goddesses stood in the company of their students for the subsequent weeks, while the ones who adopted pupils at the night of the presentations started their work right after it, and the ones who didn’t become instructors left a few days later.

Hades’ brothers, who basically came to meet the woman about whom he talked, didn’t stay for the same amount of time: Poseidon, despite treating you with politeness, didn’t hold great affection for humans, having no reason to stay longer than necessary and leaving Valhalla in the next day, but not before talking briefly with his elder brother and stating that he would come back in a matter of months, for his presence would be requested only then; Zeus, who had some juridical matters to discuss with the Nordic head, stood for two weeks, but you rarely saw him during this time; Adamas, on the other hand, decided to stay for an entire month enjoying the delights of the blessed lands, and during this period you had some cheerful interactions, most of them supervised by Hades, who didn’t hide his contentment with such friendship: his second brother sort of adopted you as a little sister, thus being the responsible for you to feel like you were part of the family. Finally, he had to go to Hellheim in order to replace Hades in the practical aspects since the King would stay away from his domains for a couple of months. You were a bit sad when he said his farewell, but you were content to know that he would come back soon.

Now, among the deities who stood for longer, there was one whose presence wasn’t exactly good news to you: Loki, who wouldn’t leave until Odin-sama decided it was time to return to Asgard. You still didn’t forgive him completely for the episode at the balcony, but chose not to speak about it anymore; to your surprise, Loki did the same, but he would take any chances to play little tricks on you when Hades and Adamas weren’t around. None of them were as unpleasant as the one of the goblet, being limited to attempts to scare you by appearing suddenly in your way in the form of animals, statues or objects, but you somehow learned to recognize him moments before his transformations. Still, the game continued to be funny to the god, who was determined to have you as his main target – or, in his words, “as my new favorite friend”.

At first, you tried to get rid of him, but it didn’t take long for you to understand that getting rid of someone like Loki was an impossible task, so you just endured the situation. But, after some time, you found in yourself some patience to deal with him: you noticed that, even among his Nordic partners, Loki was a bit of a solitary god, more because his nature was youthful if compared to their stern manners than because of his tricks and jokes. Besides, if your supposition that he was around the same age as Hermes was correct, he must belong to the small group of young gods there, getting easily bored around the elders. The presence of many young girls, to whom anything from the gods’ land was a novelty, might have excited him, so he would divide his free time between you and the others – a routine that didn’t please Hermes, who saw his work become twice as hard now that he had to watch the girls from even closer. Finally, being his heart a mystery even to other gods, he never talked to you about it, but you started to think that he was actually cheering with the perspective of seeing a new goddess being born, something that doesn’t happen everyday, which would explain his “obsession” with you.

One day before the Nordic pantheon finally left Valhalla, you had a brief conversation at the Gardens, in which the god of Mischief found a new way to surprise you.

You somehow were talking about Hades’ enigma, and Loki was now stating that, despite being poetic just like a good enigma should be, it wasn’t really difficult.

– Hades-sama is really good with his words – he was saying – But he kept it too easy, you know? He really wanted you to solve it.

In other times, you would find yourself offended by it, as a suggestion that Hades was insulting your intelligence, but now you were just curious.

– Perhaps – you shrugged – But I really don’t care. I enjoyed working on it – and, turning directly to him, – But how long would you take to solve it, Loki-sama?

There was a statue of a woman sitting on a stone beside you. Loki was on her lap, with his legs crossed, the moment he replied to you.

– Less time than you, of course – he grinned.

– But wouldn’t it kill the diversion?

– What?

You had a narcissus in your hands. You twirled it by holding the stem between your fingers.

– I know I took too long to figure out everything, and only did it in time because of a random accident, but I had a good time in the process. I believe this is more important – you smiled to yourself – I feel like I became another person after solving it, and I have no desire to come back to what I was before. And, in my opinion, we shouldn’t even want to come back.

Loki frowned, but agreed.

– I suppose you’re right – he sighed, his feet dangling on your peripheral sight as he spoke –You know what? When I saw you for the first time, I thought you were just a cute, simple girl, but I started to change my mind when I talked to you. You’re a really interesting creature, y/n-chan.

Now, you were the one who frowned. What did he mean with “saw you for the first time”? Did he see you before the episode of the serpent?

– I don’t understand. When did you...?

– Ah, don’t you remember? – he seemed to be enjoying each second of your surprise – I thought you were the type who recognizes a fake when you see one.

– I…

– Hm… Shortly after entering the ball room, you went to a table and started observing the names of the seats. Then, an elf woman came to offer her help, presenting you the very seat you were occupying at the table. Do you remember her? – and, more to himself than to you, – I could swear we have the same eyes...

You held your breath. You remembered the beautiful elven maid with red hair who came to guide you through the table, and who told you that your name was settled between Hades’ and Zeus’ as a request from the first one. So, that woman was actually Loki?

– It was you, then… – you murmured the obvious.

The god created the same crown of yellow flowers the elf wore and put it on his own head, then started moving on the statue’s lap, cheering: he had no scruples in seeking for attention and compliments.

– Are you impressed, y/n-chan? – he asked, clearly waiting for a response.

You sighed. If he was going to leave Valhalla and soon stop testing you, there was really no reason for you to deny something so silly, but apparently so important to him.

You opened your best smile to reply:

– I am. It was really impressive – you shrugged – And, to be honest, that disguise was much better than the white snake.

Loki's cheeks got red when he heard that.

– Really? Do you think so?

– Yes – you replied with sincerity – I really liked it.

Loki’s eyes glowed up with the confirmation, and for a moment you thought he was going to cry. You thought his reaction was too emotional – too honest – for someone whose first instinct was to hide his true disposition, but the thing was that observations about his abilities were a sensitive matter to him, given that he didn’t always get recognition for his talents among other gods.

In the end, your case with him had a more peaceful ending that you thought to be possible, and when the Nordic group finally left the blessed lands, Loki seemed so sad for separating from you that you got worried.

Is it just me or was he really developing a crush on me?

***

During the next months in Valhalla, you lived what looked like a dream.

You spent a good amount of your time alone, but sometimes you appreciated the company of the girls. There was a curious change in how you were seen by them: some who were among the first to find guardians and haven’t built a close friendship with you were now willing to treat you as an acquaintance; you, on the other hand, preferred to seek the company of the others who, just like you, took longer to find their place there. These ones, you sensed it, were really happy for you, and wouldn’t hesitate in drowning you with questions about your future and how “dating a god”, as they used to say, felt like; you were willing to answer them as best as you could, but there were some things you were yet to discover, and others that you’d rather keep to yourself.

Your most recurrent contact, however, was with Hades, who would be there until the time for him to leave the world of the living would come – and the time for you to decide if you would go with him or not.

Since the King of Hellheim was now playing a role similar to that of an instructor, your routine was now organized primarily by him: you continued your studies at the Library, but now they were directed to themes related to the Underworld, the destiny of souls and many other metaphysical themes. Just like the researching sessions you’ve been doing by yourself, those lessons used to take entire afternoons, during which you would discuss every subject in each possible detail, as you would listen to his explanations with a mixture of curiosity and fascination, taking so many notes that Hermes had to get you a new notebook after a few weeks.

During those days, you and Hades became the closest friends. Communication between you were free and constant, and it didn’t take long until it became your favorite part of the day. Because of the countless ages during which he has been alive, Hades knew stories about many places and many people, some of them long gone, others still existing by the time you were born; you loved sitting by his side and listening in awe as he described the appearance, personality and principles of men and women whose names were now part of History, the difficulties and rewards of their journeys and the lands they walked on, all of this in the god’s soothing voice and wise choice of words that made you feel like part of those adventures. By the end of the stories, you would discuss what you would do exactly like the heroes and what you would avoid, and ask many questions about details that Hades forgot or didn’t have time to explain.

During those conversations, you also had opportunities to reveal many things about your life as a human to him. You told him that you lived in the same house you were born with your parents, your sisters, Luna and Helena, and a niece, Ellie, who was still a toddler; this latter was actually daughter of your elder sister, Nora, who passed away months after the girl came to the world, so now she was raised as one of your own and you were now the eldest girl of the family, with Luna being fifteen years old and Helena twelve. Despite your city being considered small, it was a port city, so that you used to meet all kinds of people in its streets while you worked alongside your mother, and in your school there were kids who would present themselves as workers of the ships and would stay as temporary students, taking lessons for a few days or a few weeks until they left the town with their ships. Your homeland was a fantastic place to live, as much as a dangerous one, where things were never the same except for the ones who stood in it like you. It was funny that, no matter how trivial, ordinary the events you told him seemed to be (at least in your eyes), Hades would pay close attention to each sentence with utter interest; at first, you thought that, for someone with his knowledge, he was exaggerating in this, but as time passed you understood that it was the first time in his life that he became so close to a human and found yourself more and more comfortable in your narratives: he was perhaps the most attentive listener you’ve ever had, and that was good thing.

You two discovered many things in common, such a deep interest in History, arts, literature, philosophy and the mysteries of the mind, and would have much fun exchanging books at the Library, inventing games and sharing opinions on the things you’ve learned, but you also had significant differences, for example, while Hades had a great understanding of politics and laws, you were just crawling on these subjects, having to be told everything from the basics. But not all divergences between you were this big: some were simple, even funny, such as his passion for crafting (well seen in the hairpin he created for you) and your complete lack of talent for it: he even tried to teach you some techniques, but after a few attempts you both decided that, for the sake of your relationship, you should stop there. After some days, however, you realized that your struggling in this sense derived from your inability of make use of already existent tools, with no possibility of alterations or spontaneous creation, so there might be some hope for you in the future.

In the meantime, you paid a visit to Valhalla’s Greenhouse and discovered a new hobby, one that you would never have the chance to develop in your homeland: botany. You fell in love with the study of flowers and plants, and the possibility of creating new ones, with unique characteristics, using the science of the gods, quickly became a passion, so that your free time were now spent mostly among the greenhouse’s experiments. Hades used to make you company during those hours, and observed your activities with a smile. One day, when you asked him why he seemed so satisfied in observing while you worked, he just replied that witnessing one’s love for a study field was always satisfying; you didn’t continue that conversation, but you had the sensation that he caught a glimpse of your future in it.

***

There was a morning when you were together at the Secret Garden, resting under the pomegranate tree after having your breakfast there. Hades had his back on the tree’s trunk while you were on his lap, making a crown with some flowers you managed to grow the last days, as the empty plates were left beside you upon a cloth.

You were talking about a book you just finished reading, and you stated that the antagonist reminded you of Loki.

Hades seemed surprised with this observation.

– Really? But to which aspect of Loki’s personality you’re referring to? Because, you see, he’s more than what you had the chance to observe during his short stay here.

You smiled while your fingers braided the hems of two flowers together: you already had half of the crown finished.

– The part of him that unconsciously seeks for people’s attention – you explained – Even if he has to get it through negative ways.

– It’s probably his most prominent trait – Hades commented – Most of the times, it is inoffensive, but he can cause great damage when he’s really invested.

– I see – you took another flower to braid with the crown – Just like the book’s character, that’s certainly an irritating trait, but I think it couldn’t be any different. Being the god of Mischief, this must be the only way of living known to him.

– And do you think it’s limiting him? Because he doesn’t see that way.

– No – your hands stopped working for a moment – I just think it’s sad.

You saw Hades taking one of the flowers on your lap, then felt his fingers brushing your hair before placing the flower in them, behind your ear.

– You know, I could say I don’t enjoy seeing your moods shaken by someone who’s now miles away from us, or tell you to not feel so deeply sorry for him – he gave you the same sad smile you saw at the party, when you talked at the balcony after Loki’s provocation – But I know it would be useless because, apparently, that’s how your heart works. It’s a rarity to see such thing, and it only makes it more beautiful.

After feeling your cheeks warming up at this, your response was to take a flower and repeat Hades’ gesture, leaving it behind his ear to match your own.

– I wish I could be harder in my judgments, but I just can’t – you smiled – Still, if you think it’s beautiful to be like this, then I guess I can be satisfied.

Part XV

[m34gs]

Saw AU Ask Time!

From designing/creating a trap all the way to implementing the trap on their victim, how long on average does it take each dorm to fully complete their assignment?

Please list this in order of least amount time to longest amount of time because it will spice up the order of your answers.

Oooooh what a fun ask! Thank you! (for anyone curious about the Saw AU my friend is referring to: please see this pinned post about our Twisted Wonderland Saw AU)

I am eager to take a break from my busy weekend and relax by thinking about Saw and Twisted Wonderland; two of my favourite things!! :D I will be talking about the absolute fastest timeline each dorm can make; keep in mind that certain circumstances may cause them to expedite certain processes and that the average trap time may be slower if the need is less urgent! :)

(Also, my friend, please don't panic if you think the timelines don't match your fics. I promise, they do! I have plans to make the murders fit into your stories!!)

Diasomnia - they take the least amount of time because Fae rules. Investigating the victim is a cinch for them and their Fae Powers. Parts are easy to obtain for the Heir of Briar Valley, and Lilia's vast network of connections makes finding locations a simple task. The one hang-up is when they're setting up the traps; in order to make sure it's not entirely inescapable by human standards but still presents a challenge and test, Silver is often the one who ends up putting his strength against various trap parts. While it's all supervised and done in a safe environment, Lilia tries to delay it Every. Single. Time. Still, they manage to get through it in a relatively timely manner. Honestly, when reading White Lilies (Kimium's fic about Yuu and Malleus, with a hint of murder in the background), there wasn't a specific timeline, but I imagined the festival was about 1-2 weeks away due to how Malleus said it was fast approaching. Seeing as he only just met Roy (my name for the man as Kimium left him unnamed and granted me the joy of naming him in my companion fic: Rebirth) on that day with Yuu, that would put the entire operation from start to finish within that 1-2 weeks. Honestly, I was thinking closer to 7-10 days. Of course, that's if they are working nonstop to make it happen, but I believe they would because to Malleus nothing trumps Yuu's safety.

Ignihyde - Idia and Ortho are next! And it's very honestly all because of how tech-savvy they are. Idia Shroud doesn't even need your name to start. He hacks the security cameras at the front of shops and tracks your movements, sees where you go, hacks security systems. And once he does have your name? Game over. He's got your social insurance number, your phone number, your address, and a digital copy of your birth records before the day is up. He sets up a virus that you can't even detect, hacks your computer, and uses an algorithm to analyze your online activity, and on a second monitor he's going through your bank information for patterns to see when the best time is to kidnap you. He knows the names of all your contacts and their banking info and schedules within hours. He knows exactly when he could snatch you and how long he would have before anyone noticed you were gone. And with all his tech and the tech for STYX and the fact that it has to be produced somewhere...you can bet your ass he can get access to an abandoned warehouse. The longest part is actually assembling the trap, because, as we've established, Idia doesn't just want a trap. He wants to challenge himself to see what he can do. He's pushing his limits and learning and growing (which like, yes we love to see growth but not with murder Idia!!! lol) and that takes time. But he'd have it done within the month. Guaranteed. So I'm gonna say Idia is typically 2-4 weeks (probably also depends on if he needs a rare part for his trap and needs to wait on account of shipping).

Heartslaybul - okay, I know, I know. You might be thinking "but Meags...Riddle has all these rules and technicalities and he would probably want to make sure everything was exactly right. He would never slap something together half-heartedly, and he also places a ton of restrictions on himself and has an intense perfectionism that would make him take things even slower". And you would be right! Except we also must consider that this is Riddle we are talking about. (insert tour guide voice, for funsies) If I may direct your attention to the Housewarden Trap Designs ask, we can recall that Riddle is one to go for the more simplistic traps. I also think he is one to always be Prepared. He has trap designs ready to be used ahead of time that can be easily tweaked as needed. He may not have them all built, but the design is there. The majority of time is spent on 1. researching the victim because unlike Idia and Malleus, Heartslaybul has to resort to good old in-person tailing and stalking, and 2. assembling the trap. While Deuce may be really good with his hands and mechanical work, he and Ace together spell DISASTER and I imagine there's more than one mishap that occurs...Taking all this into account, I'm thinking 6-8 weeks from start to finish is the fastest timeline for them.

Savanaclaw - To be honest, I don't think there's much difference between Heartslaybul's timeline and Savanaclaw's. Though they have less people, Savanaclaw has both Jack and Ruggie, who are pretty much doubly more efficient than Ace and Deuce (sorry but it's true). Especially if Leona promises Ruggie a bonus (or some fun in the bedroom). Leona, being a prince, has a lot of resources at his disposal. Plus, they have a lot of connections. Let's be real, Leona has his political connections to work with, but we all know Ruggie has connections in every corner of the city. And they run a casino. That's like, dipping into mafia territory. They probably have some sort of handle in the underground as well. And Leona's very smart. He would be the one to "work smarter, not harder", so I think he'd find a way to keep the traps relatively simple (also mentioned in the Housewarden Trap Design ask) so it couldn't take up a lot of his time. So I think Savanaclaw would also be 6-8 weeks.

Pomefiore - Vil, Rook, and Epel are next. While efficient, they do have one thing that kind of limits them: spare time. Vil is so busy with all his auditions, his roles, photoshoots, guest appearances on various talk-shows, etc. He can only devote so much time to the traps. Yes, he has Epel and Rook to help, but we must not forget: There's no way in hell Rook is going to spend time tailing some asshole when he could be watching his boyfriend on the runway. Much as everyone likes to think Rook would just do whatever Vil asks, the truth is that Rook is the only one on the team in Book Five who voted against their own dance team. Rook is, first and foremost, true to his own heart. And his heart wants to see Vil's beauty in every possible moment. And Seven knows Vil cannot leave all the work to Epel. Perish the thought. Also, they must set aside time to visit Yuu and Grim. It is imperative. Because of this, Pomefiore is looking at upward of 8 weeks; probably closer to 9 or 10 weeks, for their fastest trap runtime.

Scarabia - I honestly don't think it's a surprise they're this low on the list. Kalim, for one, would hesitate to kidnap and put someone in a trap, as we've established. Jamil, on the other hand, would spend so much time trying to account for every detail that his planning phase takes *forever*. FOREVER. Jamil. Please. You're killing me. Anyway; once he gets through that planning part, putting the actual trap into motion is easy, but yeah. It's the planning stages that trip up this dorm and cause them to take longer. And Kalim's big heart. He just really doesn't want people to die. I think more than once he has a heart-to-heart with John, and John reminds him that by putting people in the trap he is helping them (at least, in John's twisted point of view) and that makes Kalim feel a little bit better. He might need a pep talk or two to get through the planning though. Three months.

Octavinelle - ok, ok, let's be real. Who else? Who else but Azul? Honestly, that boy. Ok, so we all know Azul is a perfectionist to rival Riddle, but he is also almost as busy as Vil (especially in this au, where we have him not only running a chain of Monstro Lounges, but also doing consults on the side). Yes, he does have an ever-growing list of people to trap, but he has to make sure it is the *right* time for all of them, and he has to make sure everything goes without a hitch. In fact, the only reason it doesn't take him even longer than it already does is because he has Jade and Floyd. He can 1. outsources (some) work to them, and 2. they push him to stop fussing over details and just do something (I imagine if it comes to this, Floyd makes some sort of fuss; like a cat shoving a cup off the counter if they don't get enough attention). That being said; I think Azul also spends a whole lotta time in the planning stages, much like Jamil. Things are likely a lot faster once he has all the pieces ready to be put together (Probably partly because he gets Jade and Floyd to help more with this part). Three to four months. For his fastest traps. And this is only once he's actually decided on a victim(s) that is/are approved by John. Jigsaw help me.

Alrighty! There you have it, friend! My rankings from fastest to slowest, with an estimate on how long it takes each dorm to do the entire trap process!

(I also need you to know I currently have 10 tabs open on my computer to answer this ask...lol)

[god-is-zombie]

My parents built and rode motorcycles my entire childhood. They met building an Indian. Dad's bikes were world famous. And my childhood bedroom was on the road, in my Dad's cherry red sidecar, as much as it was anywhere.

This one time, long before I was born, my dad was on a cross country ride and he ended up passing through a pretty sketchy neighborhood. When out of nowhere he starts hearing nearby gun fire, and as he's speeding up to get out of there he feels the bike slam to the side hard enough to knock the wind out of him. He figured a bullet hit the bike somewhere but he's not sticking around to find out so he just takes off.

And after a couple of miles he figured the bikes running fine so if it was hit, it must not have hit anything important. So he just sort of, continues on with his trip.

Well about 4 hours later he starts to feel like absolute garbage and, deciding that he's probably just hungry, pulls into a dinner parking lot and finally checks the bike.

No bullet holes.

Weird, but he can figure it out after he's had some lunch right?

So dad streches, walks into the restutant, makes eye contact with the waitress, and watched in utter confusion as she takes one look at him and starts screaming bloody murder.

Dad's pretty befudled until she points and he looks down to see his shirt is drenched in blood. Turns out the bullet didn't hit the bike. It hit him in the chest.

Rightfully paniced, the waitress asked if he needed her to call an ambulance. Dad looked at his shirt for a few seconds, looked back up at her with a shrug, and casually answered, "I mean... if it hasn't killed me by now, it's probably fine. Can I get a burger?"

They gave him his food, he ate (outside as not to get blood on anything), finished his trip, and never mentioned it to anyone for like 20 years.

We only found out dad had been shot like a year ago when he went to get an mri. Doctor asked him if there was any metal inside of him and dad goes, "No, not that I know of. I mean, unless you count the bullet. Pretty sure that's still rattling around in there somewhere."

They found it embedded in one of his ribs.

But I guess, what else can you expect from a man who once reattach his thumb using super glue and duct tape. While his kids supervised like the world's most under qualified nursing team.

[scribblesbyb]

Writing Game Week #1: Use These Prompts to Get Back Into Writing!

Prompt 1 Prompt 2 Prompt 3 Prompt 4 Rules: Sharing randomly generated prompts every day for a week. Create sth with it in only an hour (time yourself). Don't edit or proofread till the very end. Just. Write. A/N: This one was tricky because it was soooo out of my comfort zone lol and what I normally write. i don't hate it but...let's see what the audience thinks :D Tags: angst, drama, soft betrayal WC: 1522

Ow. Ow. Ow.

Your muscles ache, sore and bruised. Blinking your eyes open, the strong overhead light blinds you. You shut your eyes again, bringing up your arm to cover them. You notice the hanging needle leading to an IV above your head and your eyes shoot open. 

What–?

Despite the pain your body is in, you push yourself up against the hospital bed. You look around, trying to remember what happened to lead you here. That’s till you spot your fiancée, the man who you thought was your best friend and all-time confidante, the man you’ve spent the last 7 years with, nodding off on a chair to the side.

You hurry and look for a nurse-call button. It takes you a second to find it in your panic. You press on it too many times than you would have under normal circumstances. But these aren’t normal circumstances, are they? 

You aren’t going to sit here with a traitor, a liar, a two-faced villain who’s put you through hell your entire life, for a single moment. Not if you could help it.

The nurse rushes in. 

“Is everything ok, ma’am?”

“Lower your voice.” You whisper. Your ex-fiancée was quite the light sleeper. And you didn’t want him up. “Come.” You add, gesturing to her to step closer.

She obliges, noticing the middle-aged man sleeping in the corner. She probably knows he’s your fiancée, you assume, and probably thinks you don’t want to wake him out of love and compassion.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

“What can I do for you ma’am?”

“You can get me out of here.” You mutter through your teeth. “I shouldn’t be in here in the first place.”

“I can’t do that ma’am. You’ve been severely injured, I’m afraid. You need medical supervision.”

So be it.

Tapping into your power, you focus your senses on manipulating the nurse’s mind; to get her to obey your command. 

“Get me out of here.” You say, voice rippling through the air particles around you, the soundwaves hitting the nurse on a microscopic level.

“I’m afraid that won’t work anymore, dear.”

Your head whirls around, breaking the hold you had on the nurse. The voice that once brought you a level of comfort like no other now has the audacity to talk to you like nothing happened.

“You’re too injured to be using your powers.” He cracks his neck, as he would do when just waking up, and ruffles his ginger hair. “I’m sorry for that, too, by the way.”

“Out.”

“Love, I can’t—”

“Out!”

The nurse’s eyes dart between the two of you. She couldn’t remember exactly when the man had woken up while she was standing there, but she knew the patient shouldn’t be this agitated.

“Ma’am, please,” she points at the beeping monitor. “Your blood pressure can’t be this high right now. I repeat, you’re extremely injured and you need the rest.”

“Then get him out of here!” You yell. “Ow! Shit!” You grab the side of your chest in pain. “What did you do to me??”

You glare at him, unable to believe those blue eyes still make your heart thump. 

The nurse replies before he can reach your bed. “You have a few stitches on your left side here,” she explains. “You need to remain calm, okay?”

Her page beeps and she turns to walk away. You reach your arm out to stop her. “Please, no, please get him out of here.”

She looks at your fiancée, the beeping sound growing louder, making her heartbeat quicken. The longer she stared into those ocean eyes, the more chaotic her soul felt. Anxiety crept into her veins. Like a wounded animal, she scurried off, scared but unable to tell why.

 “So I can’t use my powers but you can?” You shout the second she leaves. “How convenient for you.”

“Love, please,” he breathes out, walking to the door and shutting it carefully. “You heard her. You need to stay calm.”

“Calm? Calm?” You continue to yell, ignoring the monitor going crazy near you. “You…You lie to me, you cheat on me, you make me fall hard for you, and you want to be calm–?”

“Shhh.” He reaches for your shoulders, his strength holding you down. Arms you once cherished the embrace of now remind you of the hoops of betrayal your heart is going through. 

“Get your hands off me.” You beg, your bloodshot eyes tearing up. “Don’t touch me. You have no right to anymore.”

But his hands stay there. You’d move but you can’t—won’t. Your body still doesn’t know that this isn’t the same man you loved so dearly yesterday. That he was a shapeshifter. Someone who claimed himself your husband in the morning and your nemesis at night. 

He toyed with you. No. He mocked you. 

The tears fall before you know it. Something about his hold always did that to you. You’d be the angriest you could ever be, and a touch from him, a simple grasp of the shoulder would make you melt. Make the chaos unfold.

Realisation hits and you instantly slap his hands away.

“You!” You grit your teeth. “Was everything a goddamn lie?!” You shout, ignoring the rippling pain in your insides as you did. “Are you using your powers on me right now?? Have you been using them this whole time?!”

“I-” He squirms. “Dear, it was ju–”

“Stop calling me that. Stop acting so familiar with me. Just stop.”

He swallows, stepping back. “Will you let me explain?”

You scoff. “What’s there to explain?” You smile. “Lord Chaos,” you use his supervillain name, “tracked me down 7 years ago, wrapped me around his slimy fingers, and the second he saw me fighting someone other than him, his twisted mind got—what’s the word I’m looking for here?” You look up, searching the ceiling for it. “So jealous that he killed him for me. And instead of, oh, I don’t know, stopping there, he also decided to reveal his identity! While I’m lying there unconscious because o’ him nevertheless!” You pause to catch your breath. “So, tell me, please, Lord Chaos,” you mock sarcastically, “What’s more to explain?”

“I couldn’t help it.”

You glare. He looked sincere, desperate. Any other time you would’ve fallen for it. You would’ve caved and let him win, let him talk. But now? Now he just looked pathetic. A dog with his tail between his legs.

“Pray tell what; what couldn’t you help?” You frown. “You couldn’t help unmasking yourself? Couldn’t help tracking down your nemesis and playing a wicked game with them? What, Chaos? What couldn’t you help?”

“Falling in love with you.”

You bite your lip, fisting your hands. “You don’t get to say that. Not after what you’ve done.”

“Love, I–” He stops when you throw him a glare, telling him to correct himself. He sighs and approaches you again. “Have you ever wondered what made us nemeses in the first place?”

You look down. The answer wasn’t that simple. All you knew was that for generations, your house, the Order of Serene, was at war with the house of Chaos. You hated them. Hated what they did to people. If the humans’ concept of a devil was real, the Order of Chaos was as close to that horned, fork-tailed creature as they come.

“We are opposing forces,” you mutter quietly, “I was bred to despise the havoc those of Chaos created. To fix it with my powers. To bring those affected peace and tranquillity.”

“And did you stop and think if there was another way? If Chaos wasn’t as bad as you made it out to be?”

You lean back. “Don’t come closer.” You warn. “Whatever sad excuse you’re about to spout, I don’t want you near me, touching me, while you say it.”

“Fine.” He grunts, balling his hands beside him. “Just humor me. Didn’t you always feel better when I held you? Didn’t my powers help you cry? Help you get angry? Help you deal with the chaos of fighting the other me?”

“The other you?” You scoff. “He’s not some alter ego.”

He smiles. “You’re right. But do you see my point?”

You did, sorta, though don’t want to admit it.

“A liar is a liar.”

“A liar who feared you’d react the way you’re reacting right now.”

You bit your lip. Heavy silence took over, till you found yourself blurting out the question that’s been weighing on your mind this whole time.

“Why did you save me?”

He chortles; it makes you angrier. “My fiancée, the love of my life, was dying at the hands of some vicious witch—of course, I was going to save you.”

“You’re the vicious villain who’s been trying to kill me for over a decade!”

“Don’t you think if I wanted to, I would’ve by now?”

“Bet?”

“Bet.” 

For a moment, you smile at each other, the spark you thought you’d lost somehow reigniting at the idea of dueling with your nemesis, ex-fiancée, and savior.

For a moment, you didn’t care what the future was going to hold, but you knew he was still going to be a part of it.

Begrudgingly.

[selfindulgentsillinessbracket]

Executive update: both Huey & Dewey will be making it to the bracket with bracket 4. However I think I'll be having you guys be much more involved in the creation of bracket 4 overall & not just with Louie only.

So both Huey & Dewey, despite the fact that I trust them..

Okay correction, I Trust HUEY. I ONLY REALLY TRUST HUEY. I don't entirely trust Dewey. I trust Dewey more than Louie, but I trust fucking anyone more than Louie so that really isn't saying anything.

...anyways, so I'll be having you guys vote for them to be given a guardian too!! Huey & Dewey will be assigned under a guardian/teammate in the bracket just like Louie.

And don't worry i did actually put thought into why, allow me to explain:

Dewey getting a guardian is more or less entirely for his own safety. Let's be real, we know he isn't gonna pull any schemes. Which is the reason why Louie needs one. Let's be real, if we left Louie on his own, Louie can & would rig the votes. He absolutely will pull voter fraud the very second I turn my back on him. And I cannot be supervising the little shit when I have to be managing literally everyone in the tournament all at the same time. That's why whoever gets assigned him will be keeping an eye on him. Dewey isn't gonna pull voter fraud....but I know damn well he's gonna end up putting himself in danger in some way in a vain attempt to look cool. Like the poor kid is gonna get himself hurt if we leave him unsupervised. This is entirely being done for his own safety. I don't trust him not because he's untrustworthy MORALLY... he's untrustworthy because he's a fucking idiot & he's going to get himself hurt if we don't keep him supervised 24/7.

Yes, Webby didn't get a guardian but Webby is Webby & I know she can be trusted. Also I already went back & gave Webby a partner anyway. I know, Gosalyn isn't a guardian, but it's fucking Gosalyn. I trust her as well. Both of them are very well trained & capable of taking care of themselves. & I trust them even more when they're together. Also Gosalyn & Webby wanted to be paired together & I am too afraid to find out what would happen to me if I told them no. You really think I wanna find out what happens if I piss off Webby & Gosalyn? No, I may be stupid but I ain't THAT fucking stupid. I have at least a little sense of self preservation in me.

Now Huey? He doesn't really NEED a guardian I guess. I know he's responsible....but also this is for his own sake. 1. He's gonna be upset if we don't give him tbe same treatment because 'it won't be balanced only 2 of the 3 getting this treatment but not me leaves the entire bracket unbalanced it's madness'. He's autistic, speaking as someone who like him, is autistic, yeah I know he's bothered by that kind of imbalance. So we're doing this for his routine need. Poor kid needs that comfort damnit.

2. HONESTLY HAVE YOU SEEN HUEY? THE POOR KID IS SO STRESSED ALL THE TIME FOR FUCKS SAKE HE NEEDS SOMEONE TO BE THERE FOR HIM. His guardian is less about responsibility (Huey is 100% responsible we know that already) & more about making sure the kid has someone to comfort him & be there to give him lots of love & affection. Huey just needs to be supervised for the sake of his emotions. We must protect this poor autistic baby boy. We're doing this for Huey because we love him & want to make sure he always has someone to help him keep it together.

Oh & you guys will be given more involvement on decisions beyond the duck's. YOU guys are gonna get to vote on everything from here on out! & just to prove I mean it when I say I'm letting you guys have a wheel on this vehicle from now on, heres another decision you can make.

[dollarbin]

Shakey Sundays #24:

Look At All The Things

Neil Young must drive everyone around him nuts.

In a typical day he'll decide that the forthcoming Archives III should only be available on blue-ray, give Billy Talbot a hard time, call Al Gore twice, order his website to sell rolling papers; tell his dogs four different David Briggs stories, summon a 100 person choir, authorize a graphic novel detailing the exploits of The Shocking Pinks, demand the complete reprogramming of his 4,648 toy trains, write four entirely separate new songs, each of them tentatively titled Song of Love, order up a smoothie containing absolutely no fruit, summon his 3 personal trainers and LA Johnson to supervise the lifting of weights before deciding to go wind surfing instead, then settle down to eat breakfast.

It's June so he has already wrapped up the promotion of his second Crazy Horse record released this calendar year and is already issuing a third one. No doubt July will mean album #4 plus a new memoir, his fifth to date, and the debut of a roll and write board game based on Greendale. Oh yeah, and he's on tour.

So let's celebrate our nutty and tireless hero by listening to the promo single for album #3, Early Daze: Look At All The Things was recorded 55 years ago but went unheard until this moment. It wasn't good enough for inclusion on Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere or After The Gold Rush or Decade or Archives I.

But it's still good!

Danny Whitten basically leads the band here, with Neil happy to play second fiddle. Together their vocals sound like Simon and Garfunkel when they're performing drunk and underwater. In other words, they sound great. Billy Talbot, who was still learning to play bass, manages more notes here than he often pulls off during entire Crazy Horse shows these days.

Can I understand why this song went unreleased for 55 years? Sure! But it's still the best, most exciting new thing you or I are gonna hear on this very Shakey Sunday. That is at least until lunchtime, at which point Neil will surely put out yet another record.

[nothing0fnothing]

I was 9 or 10 and sitting in the front seat of the busted little green car my stepdad used the drive.

I hated sitting in the front seat when he was driving. It was a level of separation away from my friend in the back seat, but it also gave him easy acsess to hurt me when he was sitting across from me. He was an expert at it too. I'd have stars in my vision from being smacked into the passenger window or be screaming in pain from having the pressure points in my knee squeezed and rolled, and he wouldn't even swerve.

He pulled the car to a stop outside of youth group and by the time he was round to the open passenger side window I was just taking my seat belt off and finishing my thought.

I wasn't out of the car fast enough for him, so he jabbed me, hard on the arm, 5 times. So hard my eyes stung with the threat of tears and my arm was still tender and sore a half hour later. I saw why when we were given permission to remove our uniform jackets and I got a look at what my arm looked like in my cap sleeve top. I instinctively pulled the jacket back on over it.

4 blue, sore fingerprints in a straight line down my upper arm. No wonder it was tender, it looked awful. The prints looked massive on me too, painting about a third of my entire upper arm. There was no way it'd look like the result of children roughhousing on the playground. These were unmistakably adult male fingerprints.

I'd gone pale and sick looking when I realised how bad it was. It had happened less than a foot from my friends face in the car and it happened so quick, she hadn't even noticed, literally nobody would beleive me even if I told the honest truth, but I had no way to lie either. I was thinking up a solution where I only wore long tops in the June heat for a few weeks when I got pulled to the back.

"You alright Cor'?" It was the sweet old man who ran the youth group. I always liked him, which made it so much sadder for me to lie to him.

"Fine thanks" I tried to put some pep on it but it just sounded like anxiety. That with the sickly drained face and being the only kid in uniform, he was unsure.

A few minutea later, the two nicest grown ups and I were in the kitchen alone while the other kids played and the other 3 leaders supervised. I was given a sugary cup of milky tea and a biscuit while we chatted small talk for a few minutes. They tried to seem nonchalant in their attitude, probably in hopes I'd be more honest if I didn't know this chat was based in concern, but I was too observant for that. I wasn't a normal nine year old kid, this wasn't my first time involved in a 'casual chat' with some nice grownups who just wanted to talk a little bit about my home life.

It made me want to cry, but I knew if I did it would mean even more concern, so I smiled and chomped biscuits and pretended to be a normal kid. I'd felt confident I had skirted my way out of a talk with my parents about my weird behaviour and it showed. So when they ran a scripted "it's so warm in here we should all take our jackets off" bit, it was incredibly obvious my stomach had dropped into the floor and my blood went cold.

Somebody had seen the bruises.

"Come on Cordelia, you're running around out there you must be very warm with your jacket on."

I looked into my tea and breathed shakily to get myself together. "I'm actually really cold." I said, kicking myself because I knew I wasn't fooling anyone.

"Didn't I see you with it off earlier? Were you not warm then?"

"I was, but I'm cold now." I'd gone from GoGo Juice pep to sullen preteen in 8 seconds. They knew they were onto something.

"You know, when you're a grown up at a youth group your job becomes to look after the kids, and if something was wrong we'd like to look after you."

Now I was staring straight at the table, blinking tears down and sniffling. I knew they'd seen it, but I also knew I couldn't show them for fear of what would meet me in 45 minutes when my parents showed up to collect me.

"Imagine if you were a grown up and you had a kid your age who was sad and wanted to wear their uniform jacket on a hot day, what would you be worried about?"

"That they would overheat." I replied, but when the response back was silence I anxiously filled it. "Or maybe they were hiding something."

"Are you hiding something Cordelia?" Fuck.

"You can check my pockets if you want." I said evasively. It felt horrible to lie barefaced like this. I was sure that this would colour their opinion of me forever, that all of the adults would know I was a lying liar and none of them would like me anymore. I felt so sour about it. No other kid had to pick between being safe at home and being liked at youth group. Being liked by the adults was so important to me too. I hoped I could make this up later, but realistically I knew no adult would like a lying child.

When I sipped the tea it was warm and comforting. I'd gone cold with anxiety. I had been given a grown up, pink ceramic mug rather than one of the Styrofoam cups they usually serve drinks to the kids in. I cupped it in my hands felt the comforting wave of warmth spread through my body.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the shiny surface of my phone screen, I looked sick for sure. My eyes looked beady and black, my skin looked pale and lifeless and all over my face and neck I had prickled goosebumps. This is how I look every time it goes very bad at home, I know because I had watched my own face drain of colour in the mirror once when I saw the results of another bad day blinking back at me. It was something to do with remembering it, it just made me feel like it was happening again.

I sat with the group leaders for the rest of our session, honestly thankful for the cups of tea and the comforting space away from the other children to process what had happened on the drive up. I opened up about some things, school and home and friends. I think at first I thought I was manipulating them away from the bruises on my forearm, but eventually I was crying and sipping teas and eating biscuits and feeling the weights I didn't know I was carrying lift off my shoulders.

They were patient and understanding, and they wanted me to talk as much as I could. I think they thought if I opened up enough I'd would bring the walls down and I'd stop being so guarded about what happened to my arm. I didn't. They never got to confirm what they saw, I never breathed a word about my violent, scary home life and I showed up with long sleeves every subsequent week.

I think they told social services anyway, who came to my school to check. By the time I was sat with an investigator it was weeks later and my incredibly obvious finger print bruises had faded to yellow and green smudges I could have gotten anywhere. I said I got them playing outside. No action needed.

[chasingmemoriesofficial]

Chasing Memories Worldbuilding Part 1

SO! Let's get the mundane worldbuilding out of the way.

First up, Ninjago's age of majority. Chasing Memories is a much more realistic take on the show, and realistically the Ninja wouldn't be able to do half of the crap they do if they were legally minors the entire time. Regardless of how powerful Wu is he still has to obey the law.

Base age of majority, where people are considered a legal adult, is 16 human years, as is the age of consent. Minimum drinking age and minimum smoking age are 18. Now, I specify human years here because there are a handful of non-human characters in my AU that age at different rates than humans. So when I say "human years" I mean they have to be the biological equivalent of a 16-year-old human to be considered a legal adult.

Now, obviously this means the only legal adults out of the Ninja at first are Zane and Kai, as stated in a previous post stating their birthdates and ages. Which means the minors of the group (Cole, Jay, and Nya) are under their supervision when the other adults (Garmadon, Wu, and Misako) are not around.

Let me reiterate, ZANE AND KAI ARE THE ONES IN CHARGE OF THE NINJA, both in costume and out. They are the adults. They're basically the older siblings when the parents aren't home.

It kind of bugged me growing up that Zane wasn't the one in charge, it always seemed to switch between Kai, Cole, and later Lloyd (which honestly made the least sense; yeah he's the chosen one but he's like 8 why is he in charge of the older more experienced Ninja?) so this time I'm going with seniority rules as Zane is the oldest and also the first Ninja Wu recruited.

Next up, NO Ninjago is NOT a monarchy of any kind. That plot point made no sense to me no matter how much I rewatched season 8. Why was it never mentioned? I even based my entire freshman year debate essay on why it was a bad idea to just add that in without warning.

CM!Ninjago is a democracy, plain and simple. I took inspiration from the United States (my home country), Canada, and the UK with how its government works.

There's an elected president that sits for a 6-year term and they can only have 2 consecutive terms. The first president was elected back in the 4th century (shocker, a government system that lasts over a millenium and a half), and the current president during the time of CM Origins is a man named Terrence Wong, who was elected for his second term in 2006 AC.

The education system is kinda a combination of the American, British, and Japanese systems (that last one because I like how it's structured in anime), so we have kindergarten (starts age 4), primary school (ages 5-10), and secondary school (ages 11-16), with 2-year "high school" being optional.

Jay is a fourth-year secondary student at Southside Junior High in Ninjago City, but he does his schooling remotely as it was Edna's condition for him to train with Wu. It's actually summer break when Kai comes along as school ends June 25th and starts September 1st.

Cole's been homeschooled during his time in the circus (as he can't exactly enroll in normal school as a runaway) but since coming to the Monastery he studies alongside Jay (who gets copies of all his assignments to give Cole) and Nya (who also starts remote schooling with Jay, just under a different, closer school to the Monastery).

Kai only completed his mandatory schooling, then started working as a farmhand full time until Wu came along. Also, Kai has legal custody of Nya... aaaat least until the Skulkin show up, wreck house, and kidnap her, which leads the blame to fall on Kai as there's a probationary period on custody arrangements.

Kai only got custody of Nya on his 16th birthday, which was in July of 2009. Because Kai only filed to FOSTER Nya and not adopt her, they were given a probationary period of 15 months to basically make sure Kai didn't screw up. The Skulkin attack happened when there were 2 months left on the probationary period, so after Nya gets rescued she gets taken away AGAIN, this time by social services.

So what does out intrepid 19-year-old former guidance counsellor Zane do? He accidentally stumbles across Nya in town being bullied by some of the other girls in the group home she was placed in, rescues her, and has her take him to said group home where he files to take Nya in; turns out Glenn pulled some strings and got him a valid foster license for emergencies before he left Feren.

[obeyme-lost-thought]

The regret of a Father

Damn Lucifer, what do you want from her?

What if Lucifer had a child with Mc, and for some reason he neglects them ? And if the child die? What will do Lucifer?

Always remember: the ending isn't what we want, but what she need.

Good reads

1126 words all chapters , previous part

Chapter 2: Second life

I wake up in the medical room of the school, with Ro'ze and Samael around me. They talk, they talk a lot. They fill me with questions: How am I, why did I fall, what happened, etc.

I don't care what they say, I don't listen to them. My head keeps spinning and my eyes hurt. I want to cry but I certainly can't.

At some point the principal also arrives. The representatives are touring the school with the girls, so I'm relieved of my duties. He advises me to go home for today, which I gladly do.

As I walk the sound of the cars is a distant noise. I can't even feel where I'm stepping; I'm probably going home by muscle memory.

This trans state disappears as soon as I sit on the bed.

Memories I never wanted to have resurface; sensations, now gone, return. My biggest secret is that, for some unknown reason, I was reborn. I have lived 2 lives of which the years add up make 33. Not long ago the memories came back to me. 14 years and during one night, like a tornado, that damned life comes back to my mind. It took me 5 months to recognize what was real and what was a memory, and another 2 months to accept that I died once. I have never been able to tell anyone about it. My grandmother, seeing me in trouble even without knowing why, advised me to go and talk to the priest of our community about it, which I didn't do. I haven't been near a church for 4 years... hypocrisy is not a quality that belongs to me.

But in the end, I got over it, I was able to keep going. I built my life from scratch and I even succeeded. I was moving forward.

Then, however, the "exchange students" arrived; a continual reminder of what I was in the past. Yet, I was able to bear them for 1 year.

But he is too much. I can't him. Whether it's 1 week, a day or 1 hour… I don't want to see him.

I stare at the ceiling. It's white, but it's also black. I no longer recognize whether my eyes are open or closed, but I think they are closed, because I only know that I fell asleep.

The next day I arrive at school with only one plan in mind: to avoid him. Which I manage to do so far, the pause.

???: "Good morning, you are the girl who was supposed to guide us yesterday"

My blood freezes in my veins and I hold my breath the entire time I turn towards the interlocutor. Luckily, it's not him, but Simeon.

Aurora: “Yes, I'm sorry for what happened. I already felt bad in the morning, but I didn't pay much attention to it, which backfired with me passing out"

Simeon: “You don't have to apologize. I only care that you are better now"

As he talks to me, he continues to have an angelic smile to reassure me. He doesn't know it, but all this brings back bitter memories.

“Uncle Simeon, does dad hate me?”

"But no, little girl. *** he loves you, he just doesn't know it yet”

That white lie he always told me was one of the reasons I couldn't see the truth. Maybe I would have preferred him to say yes to my sad question.

Simeon: "I have to go soon, but remind me once again your name"

Aurora: “Aurora; Aurora *****”

Simeon: “Good Aurora, hope to see you again before the end of the festival. The other person who was with me also wants to get to know you and know how you are.”

….

Aurora: "Goodbye"

I get up from the bench where I was sitting and go back to class, leaving him behind.

The biggest problem is the afternoon. I have to help organize the festival and supervise us students there will be some teachers and school representatives.

I wish 4:00 pm would never come, yet time does not want to do me any kindness. As a member of the school council, I have the duty to help all the groups, but as a person who participates in the festival, I have to divide myself between band rehearsals and council activities. Right now, I'm with the others rehearsing for the final night. While everyone tunes their instrument, I start making chords on the piano.

Damn my tendency to always start playing before other people.

???: “I heard someone playing the piano, is it from here?”

Dantha: "Sir. Lucifer! We were rehearsing for the final show.”

Lucifer: "It looks like a good concert based on what we heard from outside"

Are you referring to me? Is a compliment?

…

Aurora: “You are exaggerating. I'm not that good at piano."

Lie

Aurora: “I can only do the basic chords”

Lie

Lucifer: “You're yesterday's girl, right? Simeon informed me that you were sick”

Aurora: “Yes, we spoke this morning. I'm better now"

Lucifer: "Good for you"

This little discussion of ours ends quickly, with him leaving the music room to go somewhere else.

Thus ends the day and I can go home. Hate or sadness I don't know what it is, but I fill my pillow with tears before I can fall asleep.

-------------

3rd person POV:

Simeon: "Lucifer, did you meet the girl from yesterday?"

Lucifer: "Yes"

Simeon: "Do you think it's her?"

Lucifer: "Yes"

Simeon: "What do you want to do now?"

Lucifer: "..."

"I do not know"

Memory Fragment 1: Uncle Simeon.

I run down the street to meet Uncle Simeon. This situation reminds me of a movie I saw with my grandparents, in which the protagonists ran towards each other to hug each other. Uncle's hugs are warm and calm. Today he promised to take me for ice cream and then we would play with Luke all evening. As we walk, I tell him how I won the running race. The best part is that he already knew because he had seen me. Apparently, this day is a reward for the victory and for the excellent grades I got in the exams. When we get to the bar, I see Uncle Beel with Uncle Belphie at the counter. They too see us, but they don't come close; in fact, they go away quickly. Simeon says it's because they have to do something at home, that is true… Today is the anniversary of when mom arrived in the Devildom, which is why Uncle Simeon is taking care of me, keeping me away from home, but I don't tell him I know the truth… it would be sad to him and I don’t want it.

Memory fragment= Mornigstar family is shit

Next chapter

[triviareads]

ARC Review of Say You'll Be Mine by Naina Kumar

Rating: 4/5 Heat Level: 2.5/5 Publication Date: January 16th

Summary:

After Meghna Raman's friend and long-time crush Seth announces his engagement, Meghna agrees to her parents' request to look for potential arranged marriage candidates. She does not hit it off with Karthik Murthy, but finds herself agreeing to a fake engagement anyway so she can bring him as a date to her friend's wedding, and he looks more promotion-ready to his bosses.

My review:

This is the most honest portrayal of modern Indian arranged marriages I've ever read. What a lot of people don't understand about arranged marriages nowadays, particularly in diaspora communities, is that it doesn't mean you are being forced into marriage against your will; it's more like a series of arranged dates with pre-screened candidates that are partially supervised by your families. It's like any set-up, except you're dating with the intention of getting married. This is also the first time I've read South Indian characters in a romance novel so I was very very happy. Karthik is from a Tamil background, while Meghna's dad is Tamil and her mom is North Indian (they had their own cute Chetan Bhagat Two States-esque love story back in the day, which is why Meghna wants a love match too).

There's no insta-attraction between Karthik and Meghna. She wants love (but is open to finding that through an arranged marriage) while Karthik does not want to marry at all because he fears he's turning into his shitty dad and will inadvertently emulate his parents' marriage. Pretty classic as far as romantic conflict goes, with a side of grumpy/sunshine. Where Meghna and Karthik really shined was during their moments of emotional vulnerability and how they were there for each other. I'm suuuuch a sucker for a man who cries in a romance novel and Karthik delivered when he broke down in Meghna's arms in a middle school parking lot. And on his side, Karthik ends up being Meghna's biggest advocate and supports her career aspirations (which is especially gratifying because her typical desi parents don't entirely understand her career path) and helps her realize Seth is taking advantage of her.

Sidenote: Seth is the kind of white boy that makes your stomach crawl; he's seemingly innocent, but the more you read about him, you realize the extent to which he's using Meghna on an emotional level knowing she has feelings for him, all while never respecting her culture enough to even try and pronounce her name correctly.

The one thing I disliked about the book was the Fawad Khan facecast for Karthik in-text. I personally do not like when authors name a specific celebrity likeness for their character and would much rather they describe the character well enough so I get a sense of how they look and then fill in the blanks with my own imagination. Also, Fawad Khan in Khoobsurat (2014) specifically? Come on, there's nothing about that man that screams Socially Awkward Indian-American Engineer.

The sex:

There are a couple makeout scenes (my favorite was when they're all in denial like "do friends kiss?" but go for it anyway).

The one full-on sex scene isn't closed door, per say, but as Karthik and Meghna venture past foreplay, the writing focuses more on the emotions than any explicit description of what's going on physically. Also, there is an over-the-clothes orgasm moment which I liked.

Overall:

This is probably the second time in my life I've felt this *seen* by a romance novel as an Indian-American woman, but I'd honestly recommend it to anyone looking for a low-heat romance that deals with the cultural nuances of the Indian-American community and arranged marriages while delivering a solid romance.

Thank you to Random House Publishing Group and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for my review.