god-is-zombie - Tumblr blog

[god-is-zombie]

The US government entrusts billion of dollars to this racist manchild and his company that makes expensive fireworks.

[god-is-zombie]

[god-is-zombie]

will you meet me halfway?

anyway i finished wolf 359 earlier this month and ive been insane ever since so i had to get this out my system. i Care for them so so Deeply

[god-is-zombie]

[god-is-zombie]

As an adult you must cultivate the skill of “Gross! Oh, well. Not my business.”

[god-is-zombie]

4000cc breast implants :)

[god-is-zombie]

You can identify a fake redneck by their passionate support of “blue lives matter.” Real rednecks have been in at least one physical fight and/or high-speed chase with police officers and would do it again

[god-is-zombie]

Don't these things lock people inside sometimes during system updates?

*bleeding to death because the paramedics can’t break the windows to get me out of my stupid fucking truck* heha well at least i dont have to worry about the friggin Zombie Apocalypse… awesomesauce 😎

[god-is-zombie]

[god-is-zombie]

Dogs have had many jobs throughout history, in this case: Revenge.

[god-is-zombie]

So at work there is a soda delivery guy who comes in almost everyday to restock and though we’ve barely said a word to each other, we definitely Know Of each other. Well this morning I finally got a shift where I could sleep in but my dad was like Hey the cable guy is coming at 7 to replace the cable boxes and I was like alright whatever I’ll just sleep in but forgot there was a cable box in my room. So it’s 7 in the morning I vaguely hear my dad let the cable guy into my room to just swap the box and I wake up to see??? Soda Delivery Guy???? in my room???? Turns out his second job is working cable but wow here Soda Man is standing in my doorway and I’m wrapped up in a pink bunny blanket surrounded by stuffed animals like

[god-is-zombie]

criminal profiling is just astrology for cops

[god-is-zombie]

I broke a ramune bottle to get the marble out for my dragon.

[god-is-zombie]

[god-is-zombie]

Every year, when winter ends, I hide a little bit of cash in some of the pocket of my cold weather clothes. I'll forget all about it over the summer. And then, when it start to snow again, I get randomly surprise with secret pocket money. Doesn't feel like a lot, but that surprised, happy moment can sure make the day better.

[god-is-zombie]