god-is-zombie

[god-is-zombie]

[god-is-zombie]

As am American who voted against all of this, let me make this as clear as I can:

Our country is becoming fascist. They aren't just in this country, they are running it. Burn us the fuck down.

[god-is-zombie]

[god-is-zombie]

knitting/chrocheting while hanging out with friends is so funny like everyone shut up for a few minutes i have to count to 115. twice

[god-is-zombie]

[god-is-zombie]

Me: *looking at a porcelain hand in the home decor aisle of a store* if I lost my hands in some kind of tragic accident, I’d decorate my entire home with hand-shaped things. Then I’d invite guests over for like, dinner parties and such and sit there expectantly just basking in their discomfort.

My boyfriend: Do you hear what you say when you talk? Do you know what you just said to me?

[god-is-zombie]

[god-is-zombie]

Why do all the lucky farsighted people get a whole sunglasses rack of over the counter, cheap, emergency glasses at like every store? While I, the lowly nearsighted peasant, have to go to a special eyeball doctor (who's office is always in a strip mall for some reason), pay roughly 3 months rent, and just be a little blind for five to ten buisness years every time something smacks my face a bit too hard.

[god-is-zombie]

[god-is-zombie]

simongerman600

[god-is-zombie]

[god-is-zombie]

Naming the female razor brand Venus is so personally offensive to me....you think Venus the goddess of love and sex and beauty was shaving her PUSSY? Go kill yourself

[god-is-zombie]

Accidently fell asleep last night eating a sandwich. Woke up this morning covered in pieces of a sandwich. Had to brush sandwich out of my hair. Life is a funny thing.

[god-is-zombie]

[god-is-zombie]

vampire hunter? no i said vampire HAUNTER. this jerk sucked all my blood out so now i spend my afterlife knocking over shelves and scaring off potential victims and just making the castle generally pretty cold