#he was not the one betrayed and she has no evidence other than her gut feeling to prove it

[dykedvonte]

I never even considered that parallel, that Anya would have an ignorance to (or at least, vain hope against) Jimmy abusing Curly with his meds. Because they're friends, because she hopes he wouldn't be as callous with Curly as he is with her, because Curly even said himself "I know him." Incorporating that into my world view.

I don't think Anya thinks Jimmy is a good man, but I do believe she would think he'd be reasonable enough not to raise tensions in a situation this bad. She genuinely wants to believe that in their worst moment Jimmy won't be a monster.

Everything has gone wrong. Curly is gravely injured and she is doing everything she can to keep him clinging to life, despite believing he caused this. Swansea has relapsed and is constantly arguing with Jimmy. Daisuke is trying to stay positive but in a way it just reminds everyone of how hopeless it all is. And to top it all off Jimmy is defiantly losing it with all he's trying to do and the responsibility he can't handle.

Anya wants to believe that no matter how angry, how bad and awful he could get with her, he'd at the very least show decency to one person who tried to show some semblance of care to everyone. The one person that always stuck by his side. The person who confided in him and maybe told him how he was struggling instead of her. I don't think it's guilt but she regrets not prying more with Curly, making him admit what's wrong because it was her responsibility to help and she gave him the okay. I like to think even if she never realized Curly didn't crash the ship, Jimmy was the real reason or a big part of why he did and is why she tried to keep Curly from him in death.

It's Curly's worse moment and she's hoping Jimmy will be less of a monster for it. She knows she's hoping on what would basically be a miracle but it's the only thing she has left keeping her going.

[alpacaroni-and-cheese]

Leah, Fatin and Choice.

Not to wax lyrical about a TV show that was cancelled over two years ago, but The Wilds is pretty good, actually.

All 8 of the main characters (yes, eight, the boys don't count) are some of the most complex, layered and interesting characters I've ever seen. Each of them, on a surface level, seem to be one-dimensional.

Shelby, for example, is the goody-two shoes Christian flawless pageant queen. But she isn't, not really. She's a closeted, anxious mess, who is about one or two mental breakdowns away from shaving her head at any given time. She cares far too deeply, leaving her heart exposed and vulnerable.

Or take Rachel; on the outside, she's hard on everyone, angry and resentful, and bound for diving for America in the next Olympics. But in reality, she's burnt out. She might be hard on everyone around her, but she's hardest on herself. She suffers from bulimia, brought on by a few ill-advised words from her diving coach, and isn't even on the team anymore. She is angry, and she is resentful, but I think she has good reason to be. So when she does release that anger, it's an inspiration for us all.

You can do this kind of analysis with all of the characters, but the two I want to focus on in particular are Leah and Fatin.

Leah, the boring, ordinary, average girl from the Bay, who thinks too much and leaps before she looks.

That doesn't even scratch the surface of who Leah is.

She's whip-smart, and not in the "knows the first 20 digits of pi" Hollywood style of smart. She notices things and tucks them away in her brain until she has a moment to herself where she can ruminate, drawing connections where maybe there aren't any, and draw conclusions based partly on evidence and partly on a near-infallible trust for her gut.

She analyses. Not in the (BBC) Sherlock kind of way where she just magics up the answer out of thin air, but in her own way. She sees something is out of place, and digs around in the rocks and dirt, bloodying her fingers and knees until she can figure out what's wrong.

She gets taken advantage of by a man far older than her, and lies about her age so he'd sleep with her. She's hopelessly, helplessly tied to this pathetic man, every aspect of her life tethered to him. So when he finds out the truth and removes every part of her from his life, she is left drowning in his wake. She clings to the book he wrote and the sick annotations he left for her like it's a lifeline, when it's actually pulling her further beneath the waves.

Leah broods, she ruminates and she analyses, until something gives way.

She runs headlong into walls until either they break, or she does.

Next, let's talk about Fatin.

Promiscuous, princess-y Fatin, who's never done a day's hard work in her life.

In 1x05, Fatin runs away from the group. In 1x04, she was (metaphorically and a little bit physically, albeit accidentally) mauled by Leah. Her soft underbelly exposed and prodded. The others have all made judgements on her character, and in their eyes she has come up short. So, she chooses to remove herself from the equation, and runs away, like a thief in the night.

She finds a waterfall, practically saving all of them from dying slowly of thirst. And Leah, who pushed her, shoved her, rejected her last episode, spearheads the campaign to find her, after a little encouragement and wake-up call from Dot.

Fatin is not used to forgiveness. We see her mother let things go, but her mistakes are not forgiven, and most certainly not forgotten. Her hurt is minimised and dismissed by her mother, so she turns to her father for support. He is her best friend and confidant. He always has her side.

But then she discovers the photos. Her father has been cheating with lots of women over a long period of time. He has been lying to and betraying their family for years. She lashes out and chooses to send his nudes to everyone in his contact list, not thinking it through properly. When this is inevitably drawn back to her, her father turns on her, and her mother just sits and watches.

She isn't familiar with forgiveness, so when Leah offers it to her the first time she chooses to willingly accept it, offering it back in turn.

Leah makes the choice to burn Jeff's book, severing the tether holding her beneath the water. She's free, and can breathe.

Fatin becomes her confidant, listening to Leah's theories about the island and offering reasonable explanations for what's going on, and it works for a while.

But Leah becomes obsessed with the island. She's convinced something is wrong, and works herself to the bone to discover the truth, at the expense of her own safety and sanity.

Fatin reaches out to her, tries to wade through the darkness clouding Leah's thoughts and pull her back into the light.

But she fails.

When Leah runs into the ocean, desperate to find a way out, Fatin can do nothing but watch. Rachel overcomes her fear of the water and drags Leah back to the beach. Dot wants to sedate her, just to be safe, but Fatin refuses. Leah's had enough choices taken away from her, so she lets Leah choose.

Fatin, who knows how damaging it is to have your autonomy stolen, gives Leah this choice. Fatin, who knows Leah had many decisions made for her in the past, lets her decide for herself. She lets Leah make the choice to live.

[httpkaulitz]

can u write a angst, just purely angst with absolutely no emotion except for anxiety and sadness its abt bill and how he’s been distant along 2x with reader and some random girl. and one day reader finds out and confronts him while him not gaf and just leaving her with no worries while the reader is in her lowest point ever.

sorry if it’s to long 😔

Somebody that I used to know

PAIRINGS: Bill x Female reader

CONTENT: Angst

SYNOPSIS: You discover that Bill has been lying to you

WARNINGS: cheating, fight and a bit of panic attack

You and Bill never had the perfect relationship, it was just normal like the all couple. You would fight and disagree about some things, you would make up and fight again.

You had your differences, but you always respected each other, at least that's what you thought.

When you started to feel Bill acting distant you thought it was all in your head. Maybe he really was just tired, after all that was what he said. There was no point in doubting him after so long you have being together.

But it was hard to ignore the feeling that something was wrong when it happened every time he was away for work.

You didn't want to play the annoying, jealous girlfriend. Damn, you were never like this. You even found some of the fans' comments funny.

All of this just made you wonder more and more if you were wrong. You felt deep in your gut that something was wrong and you felt so bad about it. The disconnected mix of feelings. Because you think Bill doesn't love you like he used to and is slowly moving away. Fear of being ungrateful when he doesn't deserve you to doubt him.

All this agony and doubt ended accidentally. Tom and Bill were finishing a song in the studio and you had just prepared a snack for both of them. You entered the room silently with the intention of not disturbing them, but instead of working, the two were arguing and didn't even notice your presence.

“It’s not fair to do that to her, you fucking know that.” Tom shouted angrily pointing his finger in Bill's face who looked more bored than anything else.

“You don’t have to get involved in this, it has nothing to do with you.” Bill responded with a shrug.

You looked from one to the other trying to understand what was going on. They fought sometimes, of course, like any siblings, but it was so rare especially at the level of yelling.

“And what are you going to do when she sees the photos? You know at some point it’s going to get to her.” Tom said and all your doubts, the repressed and confused feelings, everything you had been feeling for the last few weeks made sense.

You weren't crazy, a voice whispered inside your head.

And for a moment you wished you were, you wished all your paranoia was just that, paranoia. Because it would be easier to overcome and much less painful. But no, it was clear that Bill had cheated on you and as if that wasn't enough, you were finding out about it because of his brother. It was so humiliating.

"Shit." You heard someone say and when you looked at them again they were both standing there staring at you.

You didn't know how to react and the only thing you could do was turn around and leave the room as silently as when you had entered. You were so embarrassed. Mainly because of the way Tom looked at you, with so much pity.

You wondered how long he had known. Did the other boys know too? Damn, he talked about a photo. If this is on the Internet then everyone knows. You laughed when the phrase 'the betrayed is always the last to know' came to mind.

You dropped the tray with the snack on the kitchen counter and ran to the bedroom. Your movements were so automatic that you felt like you were teleporting. You took out your cell phone to look for anything, any evidence. You needed to see it. It sounds masochistic, but it's hard to believe that someone you've known for so long would do this to you.

It wasn't very difficult to find. It was everywhere. Bill and another woman together, so close it would be questionable and then in the next photo he is whispering something in her ear while holding her waist and in the next they were kissing.

You held your breath trying to swallow the lump that formed in your throat. You could feel the tears streaming down your face, your hands shaking as you stared at your phone until the screen went blank and you could see your pathetic reflection in it.

Bill entered the room and stared at you for a few seconds. No guilt or anger at being caught. There was nothing. He didn't even seem worried about you. He didn't even say anything.

You felt your heart burn even more. Because, what did you do to deserve so much indifference? What did you do to be treated like this?

You watched as Bill grabbed one of the suitcases and began to put some of his clothes inside.

“Are you just going to leave?” You asked with a choked voice. Bill paused for a moment but then started arranging his clothes again.

You left your cell phone on the bed and walked over to him.

"Answer me." You almost begged as you grabbed him by the shirt forcing him to turn towards you.

You looked at him and he looked back at you. Nothing! You wished he would at least have the decency to look away. Of seeming to feel something. Could it be that you were really so blind and never realized how cold he could be?

Your head was a mess. Why was this all happening out of nowhere?

You continued to feel the warm tears running down your face and you hated that you were crying so much when Bill didn't even show any reaction.

"No." You took a breath and squeezed his shirt tighter. “You can’t just walk away like that.”

Bill grunted. “For God’s sake, sunshine, why do you have to be like this? Can’t you just leave me alone?!”

The nickname made you cringe because you knew he said it out of pure habit and there wasn't any meaning behind it.

You looked at him for looking for anything, any indication of contradiction. Because sometimes your expressions are more real than the words that come out of your mouth. But again there was nothing. Nothing deep in those eyes that enchanted you so much.

“What the fuck do you want to hear instead, huh?” He moved away your hand that was holding his shirt and went back to packing his suitcase.

The feeling of hurt was slowly turning into anger inside you.

"Anything." You spoke louder, moving to his side so you could look at him. “Say it was a mistake, say it wasn’t, say you were drunk, say it was my fault… anything.”

When he didn't react, you took the suitcase from his hands and threw it away, the clothes scattered around the room.

“You can’t just walk away without saying anything.” He tried to free himself from your grip, but the grip on your fingers was rock solid.

Your mind was so messed up, you just wanted him to react somehow. You wanted him to hug you and tell you everything is going to be okay. You wanted him to scream at you. Anything would be better than this total indifference that made your heart hurt.

When Bill tried to push you away again you screamed. Pain, anger, frustration and disappointment burned inside you.

"Say something!" You kept yelling at him.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, I don’t have an explanation.” It was the only cold answer he gave you.

You approached him and started hitting his chest, which didn't seem to have any effect on him. “I want you to react! Say something, fight with me, just…” You screamed as you cried more.

“Stop that sunsh-” You slapped him in the face before he could finish the nickname. Bill grabbed your arm.

"Don't hit me." He whispered to you, tightening his grip on your wrist.

Refusing to listen, your other hand snaked and you tried to hit him again. ''No.'' He warned again, this time holding both of your wrists tightly against the wall above your head.

The two of you stared at each other for a few seconds without saying anything. And it was then that you realized that nothing you said was going to change his mind.

It hurt to realize he had no regard for you. Not even to think you deserve an explanation. No, all he gave you were lies and a quick way out so he wouldn't even have to interact with you.

Bill let go of your wrists and slowly pulled away from you. He gathered his things that were on the floor and simply left without even looking back.

You felt your body slide down the wall until you were sitting on the cold floor. Your body collapsed as you cried uncontrollably.

You imagined that your relationship would end one day, everything always ends, but you never thought it would be this way.

[women-in-writing]

Women in Whump: Fantasy Edition 3

Hurt no Comfort and some Death Whump ahead

- Witch who crashes while riding her broom/ staff, the snapping and cracking of bones mixing with the breaking tree branches before she slams into the ground. Waking up in extreme pain before having to drag herself home along the forest floor when she wakes up.

- Court Jester who's being harassed by one of the king's advisors, unable to do anything other than proclaim her abuse through clever jokes that only her abuser truly understands.

- Tavern maid who's fired after a party of travelling adventurers use mind control spells to avoid paying for their meal having trouble finding work in town now that everyone knows she's susceptible to mind control.

- Dwarven woman trapped in a cave-in, running low on light as she feels her way through a cave system her people have never mapped before. She hears sounds in the dark but it's unable to tell if they're reality or just her mind playing tricks on her.

- Woman who survived a powerful lightning attack by a mage. How she can't grip things too tightly anymore, how she hides during storms and her body will shake and twitch at random times. How afraid she is of seizures and having to take care of herself.

- Queen's handmaiden who switches places with her ruler when the castle is under attack. The kidnappers drag her out of the castle and escape on a boat before they realize their mistake. She hears them from where she's chained below-deck arguing over her fate. Whether they should just kill her or something else...

- Wife of a Nobleman who begs him to stop outrageous taxes. He agrees but only if she'll submit herself to the public humiliation of being whipped and put in the stocks. She does, holding her head with dignity as her husband tells lies about her and an affair that never happened.

- Nun in a church is selected for the sacrifice of a demon summoning ritual. She's abducted from her cell late at night and dragged underground, her bare back placed on a cold slab of rock, her heart thumping with dread as the priest steps forward.

- Soldier in the middle of a fierce battle who's run through by an enemy's sword. As she falls to her knees, blood spilling from her gut, she sees the fallen bodies of her comrades, friends she'd lived through hell with, all dead or dying before her.

Non-con under the cut!!

- Woman who's susceptible to mind control spells being told by her magic-using significant other that they'd never use their magic on her. She believes them until she notices all the markings on her body that she doesn't remember. Bite marks and hickeys and the sticky feeling of come between her thighs. She asks her partner about it and they smile, tell her she's overreacting, and use their powers on her again. It's more fun if she remains ignorant they think with a happy smile.

- Woman sentenced to death for the murder of a Lord who's assaulted by the prison guards. It's in a very public cell where everyone can see, but because the Lord was very loved, no one cares; some even cheer the guards on. When she's dragged out for her crucifixion she's naked, evidence of numerous assaults all over her body. As she hangs there, dying, the final thing she hears is the jeers of the crowd.

- Elfen street rat kid who needs to steal everything just to survive. Swiping food from merchants and coin-purses from nobles, sleeping in alleys and under doorways gets caught by a member of the Royal Guard. They leer at her and tell her she has a choice: 'serve' them or get the beating of her lifetime. As her ribs crack the guard tells her she can change her mind anytime. She hates herself when she gives in.

- Thief who's part of a guild gets a job to steal an ancient tome of spells from a wizard's tower. She succeeds in the theft but the next day she is betrayed by the rest of the guild. As she's handed over to the guards, she sees her former teammates grinning in victory. Later that night, as the guards hold her down and violate her, she vows she'll burn the thieves guild to the ground.

- Student at a magic academy who goes to one of the instructors for help with her Summoning homework. The teacher grins and tells her that first she should be aware of the potential dangers of summoning. The woman laughs at first because she's been a student for years, she knows that. Later, as the tentacles from the demon her teacher summoned violate her she looks at them, eyes wet with betrayal. As the demon drags her away, she understands why so many students had gone missing.

[greenqueenhightower]

This is mainly an Anti-Viserys rant:

That scene in Aegon’s coronation when the “beast beneath the boards” turns out to be Rhaenys and Meleys (you choose which one to be the beast 👀) and the greens are shocked and paralyzed but Alicent’s mother instinct kicks in and she literally positions herself between the imminent danger and her children, proves that she has the guts to fight this war and she is not a pawn to be moved about by others anymore. What’s more, her motivation is not pure envy or hurt pride but acknowledgment and fear of the danger that her family and children are inevitably in, being “the other” Targaryens.

And then think about how they should have felt, growing up as “the other” party in their father’s love, always feeling second choice compared to their flawless, perfect-in-her-father’s-eyes older sister and heir to the throne Rhaenyra (don’t hate me on this, I love Rhaenyra too), whose faults and shortcomings never seemed wrong to her father. And then Aegon, tries so hard to be the heir that only Alicent sees in him, but “it will never be enough.” Helaena is completely ignored by her father, and that is even more evident in the dinner scene where he doesn’t seem to be even remotely interested in what she is saying about her married life with Aegon. And then Aemond loses an eye and still has to see his father defend Rhaenyra and her sons with the other one. I’m sure he was thinking, “what else should I do for you to notice me, or what else should happen to me for you to show me you care?”

What I’m saying is, all those years of neglect from Viserys and the accumulated hurt that his children feel towards him are very easily turned against Rhaenyra in the end. Viserys did not protect ANY of his children from the consequences of his own careless actions and even if he didn’t take part in the Dance, he is the main instigator of the events to unfold. He made sure Rhaenyra distanced herself from her siblings by being distanced from them himself. He made sure Alicent felt uneasy with the line of succession and the future of her children due to his lack of interest in them. So, Alicent literally took on the role of the SOLE PARENT who had to take care of them, by any means, as best she knew how.

So, yes, Alicent in her complex relationship with Rhaenyra and Viserys does feel resentment because she was second choice, always less important, always suffering alone, always undermined in her role as mother and protector of Viserys’ children. But even more than Alicent her children feel undermined and betrayed by their own father and the girl he loved the most, Rhaenyra. So to those who praise Viserys for loving her, that’s not enough. Being a parent doesn’t mean loving ONE of your children. Being a parent means loving ALL of your children equally and showing them that. This is where Viserys failed, and this is where the succession crisis comes from. If his children felt loved and secure, and Alicent felt that her children would be safe and well cared for, they wouldn’t be feeling the need to claim the throne.

Now, all of Viserys’ family has to fight bitterness and resentment, make one wrong move after another, and raise their defenses against a practically invisible enemy, since they all craved and wanted the same thing all along: his attention and love, a place to belong, his assurance that whomever they were mattered, that they could have their own place in court without having to fit into one-dimensional standards, and that they would always be enough.

I feel like Rhaenys on dragonback in that crucial moment at Aegon's coronation senses that yearning, and even though she has the chance to destroy the greens and make sure her dying cousin gets his wish to see Rhaenyra on the Iron Throne, she knows how it feels to be on “the other” side. She knows how it is to hope for something, to long for approval, to fight for what you think is yours, and I dare say she identifies with the feeling of resentment and betrayal that possesses Alicent and her children more than she lets show. It’s “not her war to begin” but she knows it has already begun. And she sides with the blacks politically. But she damn well knows how the greens feel too.

[yakool-foolio]

Phoenix Wright

Just gonna go off of what's listed on the shipping wiki, cause if I tried to rate every single pair with him with the amount of characters in these games we'd be here all month.

Phoenix x Iris: 8/10; very cute, me likey. Iris genuinely caring for Phoenix while pretending to be Dahlia is super sweet, and Phoenix instantly being able to tell the difference between Iris n Dahlia is concrete evidence he knows her like the back of his hand. While I personally don't see them dating again post-Bridge, they'd definitely stay good friends forever.

Phoenix x Mia: 4/10; can't imagine this relationship lasting very long before death knocks on their door, but the utter grief is suffocating. Their relationship would just be full of sadness on both ends; they'd probably date for a short time just to try to forget Mia losing Diego and Phoenix being betrayed by Dahlia. Romance as a coping mechanism.

Phoenix x Maya: 0/10; nuh uh, they're siblings to me. I refuse to see them in a romantic light personally, but it certainly isn't the end of the world if I come across it. I don't care what anyone else does, I just don't ship it in the slightest.

Phoenix x Dahlia: 4/10; only fun if it's one-sided. I wanna see either Dahlia silently hating Phoenix's guts as he boasts the pretty lil necklace she gave him, or Phoenix cursing under his breath at the thought of talking to Dahlia again while she's possessing Maya. I need them to be bitter or I shall turn my nose up at it.

Phoenix x Doug Swallow: 2/10; this is a thing apparently, according to the wiki. I mean, I can guess why people might ship it; Doug basically saves Phoenix from the impeding doom of Dahlia and then they make out about it. Only reason it's rated so low is cause I haven't seen anything about this ship to really get a sense for their chemistry, but I do get the baseline concept.

Phoenix x Godot: 6/10; a ship I see a surprising amount of content for and I think it's getting me to like it more. Another relationship sunken in grief, but it's a much better fit on them in my eyes. Coffee dates are the best dates. Imagine all the coffee shop AUs that exist just for them.

Phoenix x Gumshoe: 5/10; neutral on this one, but I do like the concept! Just a couple o' guys staking out crime scenes together, lovin' their work. The best dudes for the job. They're supposed to be rivals but it never works. They're homies for life.

Phoenix x Kristoph: 7/10; if I liked Kristoph more, I might like this ship more than I already do. I am a sucker for toxic yaoi, so I'll gladly take it! Kristoph definitely has respect for Phoenix, as much as he hates to admit it, so why not seal the deal by making them have a very shaky relationship that ends in one framing the other for murder. Phoenix is suffering Edgeworth withdrawal and it's leading him to dark places. Kristoph is the Maria to Phoenix's James (n Edgeworth's Mary) and no one can tell me otherwise.

Phoenix x Lang: 5/10; I have no idea where this ship materialized from, but it just sounds funny. Alpha Wolf hot shot and his sassy lawyer boyfriend. If you thought Phoenix's sass was apparent enough already, Lang just intensifies it by being around him and they have a blast gossiping about the competition. I wanna see them interact in canon now.

Phoenix x Edgeworth: 10/10; A CERTIFIED CLASSIC! ONE OF THE FOUNDING FATHERS OF MLM SHIPS! THEY ARE A PART OF INTERNET HISTORY! It's so hard for me to ever think of them not being hopelessly in love with each other. They're husbands to me. They have matching wedding rings you just need to look closer.

Phoenix x Larry: 3/10; I don't like Larry so in turn it's really hard for me to like this ship. I think it could be interesting if teen Phoenix is in his bicurious era and does practice dates with Larry who is more than willing to help him out. Two men realized they're bi that day.

[jourke-rourke]

also, in light of the knowledge that Boone and Ryo were part of the OG raza crew and have thus been living & fighting together for years long before they met any of the others, I think it's particularly interesting to see the two of them in early S1. Because it's pretty well-established in canon that the crew retains their emotional associations and gut feelings about other people even though they don't remember why. see, for evidence-

the entire crew immediately accepting that Two is in charge because it just seems right and they trust her to lead

Four blindly trusting that Hiro will come to meet him and will give him the benefit of the doubt

Three being protective of Sarah before she wakes up, when he has no idea who she is

Five being particularly upset by TJ's body and knowing that he must have been important to her somehow

there's more but you get the idea

anyways so given all that I think it's Neat (tm) that once their memories are wiped, Three almost instinctively starts trying to buddy up with Four and work together with him.

(liars)

and also when it comes to saving the android, the fact that Three knows instinctively that Four will agree with him and that he will help him do something about it even if it means betraying the others.

I mean, it was a dumb choice, but still the fact that Three somehow knew Four would back him despite them not discussing it and Four being notoriously difficult to read, says something.

obviously there are multiple aspects to it, presumably including (a) Three's own insecurities and the fact that he has identified Four as the biggest threat and thus wants him as an ally, and (b) the fact that Four is content to simply ignore him rather than actively telling him to fuck off. But the trust isn't one-sided, because Three is kinda the only one that Four says more than a couple of words to for the first several episodes. They all wake up from stasis with no idea who they are or how they got there but these two still look at each other and know they're seeing an ally they can rely on and that they belong on the same team. and that's pretty neat of them

[dawnslight-aegis]

29. contravention

Aymeric shifted in his seat, gritting his teeth briefly against the spike of pain in his still-healing abdomen as he regarded the man seated across from him. One of the Vault’s more moderate cardinals, Father Vallastin was ostensibly an ally against the likes of the True Brothers – but the uneasy look on his face called that position into question.

“Thank you for seeing me on such short notice, Lord Commander, even though your injuries have not yet healed. I assure you, I would not have called on you were it not a matter of grave import.”

“Of course, Father. What can I do for you?”

The thin elezen man leaned forward in his chair, unease blooming into full-on distress. “It concerns the Warrior of Light, my lord. The assault you led on the Vault has proved true without a shadow of a doubt one of the most insidious rumors about her – she is a dark knight, in direct contravention of Halonic doctrine. A heretic of the highest order. And yet she continues to walk free.”

Suppressing a sigh, Aymeric folded his hands in his lap. He had known for moons that this conversation would eventually come, but he had hoped that Kaede’s deeds in the Holy See’s defense would be enough to see her above suspicion. An absolutely foolish notion, if he was honest with himself.

Fortunately, his pragmatic side had ensured he had an argument for just such an occasion.

“I will not argue the fact of the Warrior of Light’s choice of martial discipline – as you say, it has been proven. However, I will ask you this: which is the greater heresy? To walk in darkness, yet serve the light; or to wear the robes of the highest office of the Fury and yet plot the subjugation of Her people and supplant Her as our protector and patron? Perhaps, when the Fury’s own mouthpiece betrays Her, She must send an unconventional champion in order to see justice done and Her order restored.” In other times, his words would themselves be heresy, but with the archbishop’s seat empty and a knife wound in his gut, he found himself fairly uncaring of the letter of the law at the moment.

The cardinal’s eyes widened. “Are you saying that you believe Halone is responsible for this?”

“Who else? Do you truly believe that She would allow the Archbishop’s actions to go unchecked? And the Warrior of Light’s performance in the trial by combat in defense of Alphinaud Leveilleur – against members of the Heaven’s Ward, no less – is irrefutable evidence of the Fury’s favor, is it not?” His voice shifted from mild and persuasive to steely as he leveled a look directly at the cardinal. “In any case, I believe that perhaps instead of looking outwards for heresy, the Church should spend its time in reflection, looking inwards, so that a travesty like what happened with the True Brothers does not happen again.”

“I – of course, Lord Commander. I apologize for the interruption.” Cowed, the man lowered his head, and Aymeric felt a brief pang of guilt over causing grief to a good man, but gods, he was tired.

Reigning in his frustration, he forced a small smile onto his face. “Think nothing of it, Father. I am grateful that you came to me with such concerns, rather than the inquisition. Merely try to remember that no matter how she appears on the surface, we would all be dead or tempered if not for the Warrior of Light’s intervention. She has ever proven herself a staunch ally to Ishgard’s people, and I would repay her in kind.”

Cardinal Vallastin nervously returned the smile, nodding as he stood, bowed, and left.

Their world was changing rapidly, and Aymeric only prayed they would all be able to keep up.

[kayla-kai]

As Below, So Above: 7. Elaava

Elaava smelled the corporate shill the second she walked into the staff room that morning. Things were far too clean, and the nervousness on Rigo’s face said everything she needed to know. It was frustrating, it was far too early for any of this song and dance. They should have had more time.   

Elaava kept her face blank, as she went about her normal routine. She was confident that she had covered her tracks. This might necessitate a more careful sweep of her home though. It wasn’t until everyone was in the airlock that she showed her face. A fairly normal woman, from the offset, but wearing the kind of colourful textiles that suggested that she wasn’t the kind of person who ever had to worry about food, or light, or choking on smoke created by someone who couldn’t handle the cold darkness anymore. She was someone who wasn’t used to seeing night ghosts. 

Ahead of her in the crowd, Iyara snuck Elaava a nervous glance, and Elaava gave a small, tiny even, shake of her head in response. They were not friends. They knew nothing about one another. They were coworkers, and nothing else. 

“One of you has betrayed the rest,” the woman had introduced herself as a private detective, Faren, but it must have been the farm bankrolling her. Elaava nearly rolled her eyes at this dramatic start. “One of you is stealing from the company.”

Faren’s sidekick, a kid so unassuming Elaava didn’t even notice they were there before they began to speak, listed off a number of items. They were keeping quite the detailed list. Iyara didn’t even know about some of it yet. One thing that made Elaava curious, was there was no mention of the mask they had managed to acquire, or the camera they had broken. There must be something to gain by not telling the group everything right away. 

“I’m sorry for the inconvenience,” Faren almost sounded earnest. “And I know my investigation will be an invasion of privacy. I know most of you probably had no idea anything was happening, and now you do, you might feel solidarity with the thief, an admiration for the rebellious spirit. You’re probably all overworked and underpaid. But I am only here because someone else is taking what doesn’t belong to them, taking without sharing, leaving you with less supplies and more work. One among you thinks they are better than you, more clever, more cutthroat.”

Faren might have kept talking but Elaava tuned her out. Blah blah, trying to divide the farmers. Relying on them to rat each other out, it meant she didn’t have any real evidence yet. Fine. 

“I have also been doing a sweep of the staff room every night and every morning,” Faren’s toothy smirk snapped Elaava to attention again. “And look what I found one morning, before anyone else arrived.” She held a nail between two fingers, sharp end digging into her thumb.

Elaava clenched her fists to prevent them from shaking with rage. No, no, she was much too good for that. Iyara must have messed up, brought one in his pocket and let it fall out. Did the investigator already know about their homemade bee-hut? There were too many possibilities, too many variables. Elaava stole an angry glance at Iyara, who was already looking at her clenched hands.

“Um,” Iyara’s voice rose out from the crowd. No, not yet! Everything was happening far too soon. “That’s mine, probably.”

“That was quick,” Faren said. “Why don’t we have a chat?”

“Well it’s just, this is a new staff, and my old one was being held together by glue and nails,” Iyara continued. Faren was still trying to urge him out of the group, clearly not expecting him to spill his guts right there. “And I was here during the night because…because…” He turned his eyes downward and actually managed to blush. “I was going to stick a note in someone’s locker, only I chickened out.”

“What note?” Rigo asked. 

“It was…” Alright, Elaava had to admit that Iyara was a good enough liar. He had been a good choice. Except this was going to scare him away. “It was a love letter.” There were snickers from the crowd and Iyara blushed deeper. He started speaking faster. “And I got up to the locker and my staff broke and I thought that it was a sign to give up, so I quickly grabbed the end of the staff and ran, only I must have missed some nails.”

“Alright, alright, let’s talk more in my office,” Faren insisted, and this time Iyara relented and followed her out of the airlock.

[hellmouth-manor]

canes venatici || nori || trial 4.1 || re: touji || attn: eli

It shouldn’t have been them.

There have been a lot of people, Nori thinks, that deserved better than what they got in here. A lot of people it shouldn’t have been. Mirai and Minami have managed to climb to the top of that list in a matter of moments.

She’d never count herself as particularly close to either, but she could hardly deny the good they did for the lot of them. Mirai’s unwavering kindness and quiet bravery, Minami’s wisdom and steadfast nature - both women, as cheesy as it sounded, were like glue that kept so many from falling apart.

Without them, she wonders how they’ll all manage to keep it together. She wonders if finding the ones responsible will fix anything. She wonders if doing so will offer something for those still left - comfort, maybe, or closure. She hopes it does.

She wishes it didn’t have to.

Nori is quite for a moment, but the moment doesn’t last - she sucks in a shaky breath, and with what little strength she has manages to speak.

“… Evidence. There… there is evidence. And quite a lot, too - it’s just a matter of piecing it all together. We— We shouldn’t jump to conclusions too quickly. Two people may have been involved in the murder, but maybe only one—…”

She doesn’t finish her sentence. Instead, she’s distracted by Eli. Eli, who has dropped what could easily be considered a bombshell right off the bat. The first thing she feels is shocked, and her face betrays it - she almost looks like she’s just been punched in the gut. Then worry - she never wanted to care for the people she did, and yet she grew to feel some sort of comradery with Eli, however superficial it may be. She’d assumed plenty of others would protect him, should he need it. Then again, assumptions never seem to do anyone any good.

There are all sorts of questions she wants to ask. She wants to know if he’d been hurt, or if he’d seen anyone, or if he’d heard anything, or, or, or—

She only manages to ask one.

“… Eli. What… happened to you…?”

[stellar-waves]

staring down the sun [6] *

⏯ chapter index

⚠ warnings: canon-typical violence, injury, death

. . .

beg for the rest of my life

. . .

“Ms. Jensen, what do you know about the MacManus brothers?”

Elena feels her body tense up under the man’s gaze as he thumbs through a file folder. This guy is an asshole, she knows that even after just meeting him. Hell, every guy from the FBI is an asshole. Well, with maybe one or two exceptions. 

She takes a deep breath and calmly responds. “I know what’s in their file and what they tell me in their therapy sessions.”

Agent Walsh leans back, his Texas belly protruding out and over his ugly brown belt. He looks like the stereotypical no-nonsense detective from some cable drama, and he’s about to get into a dick-measuring contest with whoever dares to challenge him. “How long have you been working with them?” 

“Three months.”

Walsh nods slightly, still rifling through the file folder. “What have you discussed?”

Elena can’t help the small chuckle that escapes her mouth. “That’s confidential, sir. “

He smiles, but it’s a pissed-off kind of smile. “You can’t be serious.”

“I am. Unless they plan on hurting themselves or hurting others, everything they say stays in that room.”

“So if they had a plan to hurt others, you would disclose that, correct?”

“Of course. But the MacManus brothers have not—”

“Did either of them tell you about their plan to escape Hoag Maximum Security Prison?”

Her blood rushes throughout her body as she clenches her jaw. “They escaped…” Is that a question? A statement? Maybe both. She’s surprised, and yet not at the same time. And this is how she finds out. “No, neither one of them told me they were planning to escape.”

Walsh narrows his eyes. “Cut the crap. You’re their fucking therapist. Aren’t they supposed to tell you their deep dark secrets?”

“If you were ever in therapy, you’d know that’s not how this works, even for prisoners. They tell me what they want to tell me, what they feel comfortable telling me. I’m not there to gather evidence for your witch hunt.”

He stands up, taking a deep breath as he removes his jacket. “So, you didn’t know they were going to escape.”

Elena presses her lips together. “No.”

“How does that make you feel?” He laughs as he sees the confusion on her face. “You seem to be pretty close with them.” He opens another file folder, pulls out a couple of photos, and places them in front of her. They’re stills from the video surveillance. “Especially this one,” he sneers as he taps the image from three days ago: Connor is being cuffed but looking at Elena as she stands beside the table with her arms folded. “How does it feel knowing that he didn’t tell you?”

To his credit, Walsh thinks he’s hit a nerve. Sure, she’s surprised, but now she’s more pissed off about this narrative the FBI is trying to fabricate by using her. That’s not how this is supposed to go.

She straightens back in her chair, looking Walsh square in the eyes. “I can’t make someone tell me everything. Just like you can’t.” 

He suddenly throws his chair across the floor and clearly holds back every filthy nickname he wants to call her. “Get out.” 

Elena keeps her voice firm, asking, “I’m free to go?”

He doesn’t look at her, and exhales his answer. “For now.”

Even though she wants to run, she has to remain calm as she leaves. Her heart betrays her though, beating wildly as she walks down the hallway. Hopefully, Walsh can’t hear her heartbeat. 

She had already started packing before the FBI called her in, her gut telling her something wasn’t right. But she honestly did not know that Connor and Murphy escaped. Now that she knows, she has to move quickly. 

Elena’s been through this before. She’ll go through this again too, that’s her job. That’s why her entire life can fit into that black duffel bag. She doesn’t really have anything sentimental, except for her gold sparrow earrings. They were a gift from a dear friend she trusted more than anyone, and she’d wear them as a reminder that she can do anything. 

As she reaches up to touch her ears, making sure the earrings are still there, a thunderous crack sounds as her door breaks in. Elena snatches her Glock 9mm out of the duffel bag, raising it in front of her as she steps into the hallway leading from her bedroom to the living room. She points it at a masked person walking fast towards her, the black-dressed figure menacing. She tells them to stop, but in that split second, before she can pull the trigger, a second body grabs her from behind, the force throwing the gun from her hand across the floor. 

She quickly realizes they are men, based on their large, broad bodies and husky-sounding breaths as they threaten her. The second guy holds her as she struggles to break free, then the first guy approaches with a knife. The metal is cold and sharp against her neck, and she stops writhing in her attacker’s grasp. Her lungs desperately try to take deep breaths, but the force of the arms around her prevents her from inhaling correctly. Her heart beats fast, and her vision gets blurry from her waning supply of oxygen. 

“You’re going to tell us what you know,” the first guy with the knife sneers. 

Elena feels the adrenaline rally in her veins, her voice raspy as she asks, “Who are you?”

Both guys laugh, and just as she feels the blade lift off her neck ever so slightly, she kicks the first guy in the groin hard. She shoves her whole body into the guy that has a hold of her. The mirror shatters as she pushes him backward into the wall at the end of the hallway. He starts to slide against the wall, losing his grip on her enough that she can slip out of reach. Hastily, she grabs a piece of the broken mirror with her left hand and slices the guy’s neck, right along his carotid artery, so he bleeds out. 

Despite cutting her hand on the glass, Elena rushes over to grab her gun from the floor, but the first guy grabs her, forcing her to fall forward. He pulls on her, and she claws at the floor, hoping her fingers will stretch enough to reach her gun. The guy flips her on her back, trying to pin her down, until she slips her legs over him, pulls his arm, and twists his body to the floor. 

She finally grabs her gun and throws an elbow in the guy’s face as he approaches her. He falls and then pushes himself to stand. She kicks him hard in the back, pressing her foot against him as she drops her opposite knee to the floor.

“Who are you?!” she yells, her knuckles white as she grips the gun, the barrel pressed against his head. She feels him shift his body, knowing it will take a split second for him to knock her over, so she pulls the trigger. The air is silent except for her breathing. Her foot is still pressed against him, and her gun is still pointed at his lifeless body.

“Holy shit,” the familiar Irish accent startles her. She looks up to see Connor and Murphy walk in with a gun in each hand lowered at their sides. Clad in their blue jeans, black t-shirts, and black peacoats, it’s like she’s finally seeing them as their true selves. The adrenaline starts to calm in her blood as her eyes connect with Connor’s, and she sees a mess of shock and arousal take over his face while she’s still pointing the gun at the dead body. 

Murphy agrees, a smirk crawling up his face while he eyes the two dead men. “Girl can take care of herself, yeah?” he asks gleefully as he elbows his brother. Connor doesn’t acknowledge him; he simply stares at Elena as he holsters his weapons.

A new dose of adrenaline pulses into Elena’s brain as she stands up, quickly checks her gun’s magazine, and slams it back into place. “You shouldn’t be here,” she says cooly. 

Murphy’s smile fast morphs into a scowl. “Well, yer fucking welcome for the backup, lass.” Instantly, Connor swats the back of his brother’s head, hard, and Murphy starts cursing him with every word imaginable.

She doesn’t have the time nor the energy for a MacManus argument and moves to the kitchen sink to wash her hands. Watching the blood rinse down the drain, she takes a deep breath. “I’ll explain later, but right now, we need to get the fuck out of here.”

Elena wraps a tea towel around her injured hand, and Murphy narrows his eyes toward her. “Explain? Like ye know who these men are? Who they work for?”

“Maybe.” She brushes between them to the bedroom, grabbing the packed black duffel bag from the closet and sliding her gun holster into the back of her jeans waistband. “I don’t know.”

“Maybe we need to ask who you work for?” Connor says flatly, his face looking at her like she’s a stranger. Her stomach falls slightly from his cold stare, but she has to get them out before anything else happens. 

“Ní anois,” she replies quickly in Irish. Not now. She inhales sharply. “Muinín dom.” Trust me.

. . .

. . .

⏮ [5]

[7] ⏭

[purple-babygirl]

request if open; daddy!bucky had a bad day and little!reader is just trying to comfort him but he accidently lashes out and yells at her/pushes her and immediately feels guilty but she regresses even more into her little space and is scared of him, you can kinda play around w this and figure out how it ends! xx

Pairing: Mafia!Daddy!Bucky Barnes x f!little!reader

Word Count: 3,423 (you know you love me)

Warnings: ddlg dynamics, yelling, harsh treatment, crying, angst turned fluff?

A/N: thank you so much for sending this in, nonnie. i took your request and ran with it to angst land. Hope you enjoy xx💜

~~~~~

signature needed

“Dada,”

She could see Bucky’s frown, the lines on his forehead wrinkling his handsome face up. She knew it meant he was upset and she never wanted Daddy to be upset. She knew he never left her upset.

Bucky’s been looking like that since he walked through the mansion door that morning, barely acknowledging her when she greeted him. He almost forgot to give her her welcome-home kiss even.

“Not now, angel,” Bucky murmured, proceeding to flip through the papers covering his desk, huffing and puffing every now and then at the mess he was stuck trying to fix.

“Wanna show you somethin’,” she whispered, biting back a smile.

“Later, angel. I’m busy right now.”

He regretted telling her to come in. He should’ve known she’d be nothing but a distraction.

“Dada, jus’ take one look,” she bounced on her feet before slipping a neat sheet of paper on top of Bucky’s desk, momentarily blocking his view of the contracts he was angrily staring at. Now that made Bucky mad.

“I said I was busy!” Bucky shouted as his head snapped to her, his hand slamming down on the paper without even seeing it, blindly crumpling it and throwing it on the floor at her feet. She flinched at the sudden outburst, taking a step back.

“Dada,” tears filled her eyes as she looked at her discarded paper. Bucky just broke her heart.

“Why don’t you ever listen!” Bucky grabbed her arm tighter than usual, pulling her back to him, “How many times do I need to repeat the words for you to understand! I said not now, didn’t I?!” He let go of her arm with more force than he’d intended, making her stumble a little.

She was terrified now. Her heart pounded in her chest as she looked at Bucky with wide eyes. He has never lashed out on her like that, not even when she was big. She was scared. As her breath picked up, she wished she’d never left her playroom.

“Get out and don’t step into this office again until I tell you you can, you hear me?” Bucky growled, oblivious to the signs of regression and horror showing on her face.

Her quick nods set off no alarms in his head as he watched her run out of his office.

Bucky felt bad about taking his anger out on her the second she fled the room. He flopped back down with a huff, flipping through the contracts again and again with no focus. He threw them down carelessly, running his fingers through his hair, tugging at the roots in frustration.

Cracking his hurting neck, Bucky regretted raising his voice at her. He couldn’t see the words on the contracts; her teary eyes flashing through his mind every time he tried reading.

Why did he have to yell? He could’ve just looked at her paper. She was likely trying to show him a drawing. Why couldn’t he just go with it? He’s sworn he’d never let anybody hurt his angel and then he goes and does this?

Bucky was ashamed. What kind of Daddy was he if he treated his little like that? It was no excuse that he was still getting used to being a Daddy. Bucky knew that wasn’t how a man should treat his girl.

He bowed forward, picking up the balled paper by his desk. He carefully straightened it, deciding to fix his angel’s damaged drawing and make it up to her.

Only it wasn’t a drawing; the paper was a handwritten Daddy-Angel contract. It even had colourful flowers, bees and butterflies decorating the paper and everything.

She was probably trying to play office with him; probably just wanted Bucky to pretend he was signing her paper too.

A sad smile spread across Bucky’s lips as he read the paper. The contract stated that

- Dada will smile

- Dada will not be angry no more

- Dada will let me sit on his lap (will be quiet pp)

- Dada will play with me after work

Dada: ……………..

The paper ended with a free space for Bucky to sign in case of agreement to the ‘terms’.

There were a lot of moments where Bucky wished he could turn back time, but not being able to do so in this very moment seemed to torture him the most. He was an asshole.

She just wanted him to calm down. She respected that he was working and she wasn’t trying to interrupt, she merely wanted him to smile. She even pinky promised to sit quietly in his lap.

Bucky has messed up and it was for nothing because the damage to his work has already been done. He shouted at her like she was responsible when she was just trying to help him feel better.

Bucky got his pen out of his pocket, signing the empty place by his name, remorsefully sighing at his utter stupidity.

~

“Angel,” Bucky called, knocking on the door before opening it.

She wasn’t in her playroom, but Bucky could see her round table full of similar papers to the one he had folded in his pocket.

She’s made at least 6 of these ‘contracts’, some of them were written in different colours or had spelling mistakes.

She’d obviously worked hard until she settled on the paper to give him and he ended up throwing it on the floor.

Bucky’s hand rubbed his face, frustrated at himself and his lack of control. An asshole was what he was. An asshole.

“Angel, where are you, baby?” Bucky sighed, opening the bedroom door to see her sitting, hugging her knees on the large bed.

She looked too tiny bundled up like that and her muffled sniffles punched at Bucky’s heart.

“Angel.”

She only lifted her head up when she felt the bed dip under Bucky’s weight and panic flashed over her delicate features.

“Baby, don’t cry,” Bucky said, his hand instinctively moving to wipe her tears only to have her flinch back, squeezing her eyes shut as if she was awaiting a blow.

Bucky’s heart stopped beating for a second when he realized what had just happened.

She was scared of him. His angel had flinched away from his touch. A huge lump formed in Bucky’s throat as she opened her eyes again, “angel?”

“Please don’ hurt me. Won’ come to the office. Won’ leave the room.” She shook her head and sobbed, scurrying back on the bed and away from Bucky.

This pained Bucky more than any punishment he thought he deserved. The look on her face was enough for him to want the walls to open up and swallow him.

“Angel, I would never hurt you. You know that.” Bucky whispered, sniffing back the tears about to spill down his bearded cheeks.

He needed to hear her say she did. He needed to know she knew Bucky could never hurt her.

She looked from Bucky to her left arm where his metal hand had grabbed her earlier. His fingers had left a mark around her arm. The skin was still pulsing as if his hold on her never loosened.

It was too late and it didn’t matter what he said because he’d already hurt her and the evidence was on her body.

Bucky’s mouth opened and closed as he swallowed again. He didn’t know what to say. He was supposed to be the one protecting her, not the one hurting her. How could he do such a thing to his angel?

“Oh, baby,” he breathed, shaking his head regretfully before trying to get closer to her.

Her instant reaction was to crawl back further and Bucky’s heart sank to his stomach. He felt his soul leaving his body when he looked her in the eyes and saw fear.

A tear betrayed him, falling down, gliding by his lips. Bucky wiped it away quickly, sniffing and clearing his throat.

“I signed your contract, angel.” Bucky got the paper out of his pocket, opening it and putting it on the bed for her to see.

Her eyes looked down and more tears left them at the sight of her once fine work now ruined.

“I’m so sorry, angel. Daddy was bad, baby. I’m sorry,” Bucky pleaded, his fingers reaching out for hers.

She pulled her hand away quickly, hiding it behind her back and Bucky knew he had really messed up. It was no use trying.

She was scared of him. His touch frightened her and was no longer a symbol of comfort to her.

He took his hand away, straightening his back and getting off the bed.

“I-I’ll see you at lunch then.” Bucky sniffed again.

“And angel?” he called from the door, getting her attention.

“Thank you for caring for daddy. I love you.” Bucky has never heard his voice as weak as he did in that moment and he felt even worse when she didn’t say it back.

~

When the table was set and Bucky came out of his office to find her chair empty, another lump was quick to form in his throat.

He wasn’t even hungry. He had no appetite to eat; he just wanted to see her but didn’t have the guts to peek into their bedroom again.

“Angel?” Bucky was ready to knock on the bedroom door but it was already open.

He carefully pushed it and took a look inside to find the bed empty. He tried not to freak out as he knocked the en suite bathroom door and got no answer. When he opened it, she wasn’t there either.

Bucky could hear his own blood pumping in his ears because she was no where to be found in her playroom as well.

She left. She left him and she had every right to. How could he lose her? How could he lose the one good thing in his life?

Tears distorted Bucky’s vision as his hand clutched the side of the door. His heart clenched at the thought of never seeing her again, never hearing her sweet voice call for him again; never getting to smell her on his pillow again.

The sound of her feet padding on the floor behind him pulled Bucky out of his head and he thought he’d imagined it for a second. He turned around and she froze when his eyes fell on her.

She shifted on her feet, hiding one behind the other and internally hoping Bucky wouldn’t notice she was roaming around with bare feet when he’d specifically asked her not to before.

That was the last of Bucky’s concerns at the moment though. He was just relieved she didn’t leave him even if he deserved it.

“Where were you, angel?” the tenderness of Bucky’s tone let her know he wasn’t mad at her for walking around shoeless.

“Couldn’ fin’ PinePine,” she replied softly, referring to the white feline, “’s lunch time.” Her eyes remained fixed on her feet as she avoided Bucky’s.

He was secretly thankful for that, not wanting her to see him in tears twice in the same day.

She was so pure; so caring and loving to everyone around. Bucky found himself slightly jealous of his own cat for a second there.

“Where did you find, PinePine?” He asked calmly, just wanting to hear her speak to him.

“Downstairs,” she answered shortly, leaving Bucky disappointed.

“Let’s go then. The table’s set.” Bucky smiled, hesitantly offering her his hand.

She stood unmoving for a few seconds, eyes still casted down, before she decided to hold onto Bucky’s pointer.

He sighed, knowing she was still scared but didn’t want to reject him. She was so sweet on him even when he least deserved it.

~

When lunch was over, Bucky let her know she could come to the office whenever she wanted, although he doubted she would. She gave a small nod before running back to the other room as Bucky shouted an “I’ll get back to work then.” behind her.

He didn’t actually get back to work. He couldn’t focus. He couldn’t think of anything but the way she pulled away from his touch every single time he tried to come near her, or the way she forced herself to hold one of his fingers as they walked less than 10 steps together to the dining room. She'd even begged him not to hurt her earlier.

How did he let himself fuck up so bad? When did they get there? What was he going to do now? How does one get forgiven after being this awful?

A lamp lit above the mafia boss’ head and he grabbed a clean sheet of paper before he could lose the idea.

Bucky was going to write his angel a contract. A pardon contract.

His Daddy-Angel 2.0 contract stated that:

- Angel will forgive Daddy

- Angel will not be sad with Daddy no more

- Angel will sit on Daddy’s lap (even if she doesn’t wanna be quiet)

- Angel will play with Daddy after work if she still wants to

Angel: …………….

Bucky sighed as he tried to draw anything other than sloppy hearts in the empty places around the words to decorate the paper but he was terrible at this. He was desperately in need of his angel’s forgiveness though so he scratched his beard and kept working.

Bucky needed to know she wasn’t actually scared of him; not her. Anyone but her. He wouldn’t be able to take it. He wouldn’t be able to ever tolerate himself if she didn’t forgive him.

Bucky’s tongue was hanging outside the side of his mouth as he drew another birdie on the bottom of the contract. It didn’t really look like a bird, unless of course that bird was struck by lightning a hundred times before, but Bucky thought it would do. After all, he was no artist. He didn’t draw. He didn’t deal with colours; he dealt with weapons. His hands were rough for a reason. But he would do anything for his angel. Anything to win her over again.

A knock on his door cut off his focus and Bucky groaned.

“Come in.”

He felt sorry for whoever had the bad luck of interrupting him during his contract-making, ready to yell at someone.

Bucky looked up from his desk when he didn’t hear anyone speaking, and his face has never softened so fast.

It was his girl who’d come into the office. She had her folded contract in her hand and her eyes were looking kind of puffy from crying.

Bucky just stared at her in remorse, pushing his chair back a bit as he watched her walk closer to his seat.

He wanted to tell her he was sorry. He was so sorry. He’s never been sorrier in his life. He wanted nothing more than to take every word and every harsh touch back.

She stood there for a second, waiting to see if Bucky was going to kick her out this time too. When he didn’t, she rounded the desk and stopped by Bucky’s chair.

Bucky remained speechless, not wanting to scare her away again. She came to him. She came on her own. Unless she came to throw the contract in his face and break up with him, that should be a good sign.

Her tongue peeked outside, wetting her lips nervously before she stretched an arm out, ever so carefully nearing it to Bucky’s thigh. Her gaze was glued to Bucky’s face, gauging his reaction. When Bucky’s frown didn’t show up she let her palm touch Bucky’s leg.

Bucky didn’t understand what she was doing but he wouldn’t dream of questioning her. He was just glad she was okay with touching him again at all after what he’d done, even if she was doing it so cautiously it broke his heart to a thousand pieces.

With her stare trained on Bucky, she stepped forward, slotting herself in the small space between Bucky’s chair and his desk, facing him. Her hands moved to grab on Bucky’s strong shoulders, still watching his face. She swallowed before effortlessly climbing on, cozily curling herself on his lap.

Bucky’s heart swelled as he felt her nose nuzzle his shirt. His own emotions overwhelmed him and tears gathered in his eyes.

“Angel?” his voice was barely a whisper as he looked down to her, careful not to startle her.

She looked up at him worriedly, thinking he didn’t want her where she was.

Her eyes showed fear for a short second before she unfolded the scrunched paper in her hand, a finger pointing to the third term.

“Dada signed,” she said, her eyes so innocent and Bucky couldn’t contain himself anymore.

“Oh, angel,” Bucky’s tears uncontrollably rolled down, wetting his beard.

He held her so close, she could hear his heartbeats drumming in his chest.

“Baby, I’m so sorry.” Bucky cried, wetly kissing her forehead over and over.

“I’m sorry, my angel. Forgive me,” he repeated, leaning down to kiss her bruised shoulder before lifting both hands to his lips and kissing them, “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.”

“Dada,” her smaller hands cupped Bucky’s cheeks as sadness covered her features.

She’s never seen Bucky like that. Not even at his father’s funeral did he sob like that.

She didn’t know it but to Bucky, the thought of losing her hurt more than the actual loss of a family member who never gave two shits about him.

She was Bucky’s everything. His love, his partner, his companion, his baby angel. She was the one who stole his heart and took good care of it. Bucky would give up anything and everything in life and choose her to forever keep, protect and love.

Her short thumbs wiped under Bucky’s eyes, pushing his tears away. She turned to straddle him and wrapped her arms around his neck, laying her cheek on his shoulder.

The smell of her hair calmed Bucky’s heart down as he turned his face to kiss her head, hands settling on her back, “I will never hurt you, angel. Please tell me you know that, my love.”

Bucky’s hoarse voice had her pulling away from the hug. She sat back and looked her man in the eyes, her thumb brushing his chin, “I know,” she whispered and Bucky could see it in her eyes. She did. She believed him. She knew he wouldn’t hurt her.

She stroked Bucky’s cheeks as he sniffled, smiling gratefully at her reply. And his whole world lit up again when she smiled back, timidly pecking the corner of his pink lips.

Oh she was a real angel. No one’s ever been this kind to Bucky before, only her. Bucky kissed her hand one more time, quietly thanking her for forgiving him.

“I made you a contract too,” Bucky told her with a chuckle, pointing to the desk behind her as he wiped his face with the back of his hand.

Her mouth opened in a silent gasp, her smile reaching her wide eyes. She turned around in Bucky’s lap, planting her knees on the chair between Bucky’s open legs and stood on them to take a look.

She took her time reading the words and then she was off Bucky’s lap and bolting out of the room.

The man was about to lose it again, thinking she’d remembered his cruelty towards her and changed her mind when she came running back inside the office.

She climbed back on the chair between Bucky’s thighs, her glitter pen in hand.

Bucky sighed in relief, his lips spreading with an adoring smile as he watched her write her name letter by letter in glittery ink where her signature was needed. Bucky held her waist, kissing her back as he admired how focused she was.

She closed the cap on the pen, placing it on the desk before picking up the contract to show Bucky.

“Angel signed,” she beamed, plopping herself against Bucky’s chest and clinging to him, earning a hearty chuckle from him.

“I love you so much, angel. More than anything in the world.” Bucky gently held her face by the chin, giving her lips a short kiss.

“I love you too, dada.” She smiled, blushing as she hid her face in his chest again.

Bucky wrapped his arms around her, holding her to him and closing his eyes, just enjoying the feel of her body against his once more, silently promising his angel to never hurt her ever again.

~~

Tags:

@harrysthiccthighss

@tinystudentfirepurse

@lavendercitizen

@tumblin-theworldaway

[mettywiththenotes]

Izuku’s Emotional Neglect

Hi so I’m not okay because I keep thinking about Izuku

This kid has been emotionally neglected since he was little. Izuku has had NOBODY to rely on emotionally

He didn’t have Inko, or his classmates, or All Might. Actually, All Might is borderline the only one he’s confided in [since they talk briefly about their connection of being quirkless], but he still holds back

Inko is trying her best and no parent is perfect, I see that, but what she said to Izuku that fateful night damaged that boy and the way he saw himself.

He asks her if he can be a hero, and she cries and says she’s sorry. Not only does this imply that Izuku’s quirklessness is bad, it also implies that she was lying.

And by the way, I don’t mean that Inko ACTUALLY lied that Izuku could be a hero, nor do I think that she meant to mean his quirklessness was bad.

But I need, NEED, to stress that this is how Izuku sees it. This is how he would perceive it, subconciously.

If you’re a child and you think that you can be a hero, your parent encourages it because it makes you happy. But then suddenly you can’t be a hero, and you ask them one more time if it’s possible, hoping that those little wishes you made weren’t fruitless, that maybe somehow this is some kind of dream and she’ll wake you up from it with her smile and her warmth, promising that even with this newfound “disability” you can still be a hero, but instead she cries and apologises to you? That’s going to make you think. It’s going to make you think “Was she lying? if she truly believed in me, why would she cry and say she’s sorry? why isn’t she encouraging me, like she always does? what is happening?”

It’s not the truth, and Inko DIDN’T lie, but subconsciously I feel like it’s something that betrayed Izuku a great deal.

And with the quirklessness. He hates it, he hates feeling useless, and he saw himself as useless when he was quirkless, therefore -> quirkless is something weak and awful.

Time and time again, we see this evidence of the emotional neglect he was subjected to. It’s like actively ongoing and the effects of it are seen even now

We’ll start with the Inko one. I just mentioned it, but here are the panels. It’s really just the language that she uses

“You mean there’s something wrong?”

Apologizing over and over again, like not being normal was a bad thing. Moreso, I think this just meant that she knew how hard Izuku’s life was going to be as a quirkless person, but the way she says it makes it sound like what happened to Izuku was wrong and bad and incredibly awful

Then we have All Might disregarding his feelings and telling him straight up that he couldn’t be a hero

Which then leads to this commentary

“Don’t cry! Let it sink in!!” “Just block it out, just block it all out, just-”

*pats Izuku on head* You Can Fit So Much Denial And Repression Into This Kid!

Then further along, Izuku is seen, and he gets the quirk. He is then surrounded by people that love him, that want to help him, but it’s almost like even the narrative won’t let him have emotional closure.

In most emotional closure scenes (Tsuyu crying, Kirishima vs Rappa, Iieda in the hospital with Shouto and Izuku, Kacchan vs Deku 2), there is an end to it. The character is emotional, crying or upset, and thinking back on their regrets, spilling their guts as they scream, sob, or give solemn expressions. The other characters then cheer/hype them up, reaching some sort of conclusion to the character’s pain, and the situation is more or less resolved.

But that’s not the case with Izuku. He’s always left sorta hanging there, or his hurt and anger get sidetracked by something else. One example of this is the Running With All Might scene in the UA grounds

Izuku is incredibly upset that All Might chose to withhold information on Sir Nighteye and Mirio, and he speaks about how he can’t make sense of it. He’s voicing all his worries to All Might as they run, because he can’t stand the thought of All Might keeping something like this a secret from him.

And then All Might tells him why he kept it a secret, that he didn’t feel it was necessary to let Izuku know about Nighteye’s bias, and then it divulges into him telling Izuku he’s gonna die, and Izuku focuses on that instead.

I am NOT saying that All Might did this purposefully. He didn’t try and steer Izuku’s anger away from him, it was just that it all got revealed so suddenly, so the subject changed.

The narrative tosses Izuku’s feelings of anger aside, and instead Izuku gets emotional over All Might’s potential death. Idk man, to go from angry and upset about withheld information and then immediately shoved into the knowledge that your mentor-father figure is gonna die? That’s the narrative playing with Izuku’s feelings.

Obviously, All Might’s communication skills are awful and he just kinda unloaded all this stuff on Izuku cuz he didn’t think to tell him in the first place, but I still think Izuku’s feelings got pushed around here. He had no time to process any of it

Another example is the cafeteria scene with Shouto and Iieda

The scene goes that Izuku is visibly depressed by the Eri situation and Iieda and Shouto notice. They tell him that he can talk to them when everything gets too much [a parallel to the Stain fight], and Izuku cries. Izuku insists he shouldn’t cry, and Shouto tells him that, actually, Heroes cry too sometimes, and they offer him their food in an attempt to comfort him.

But the thing is, this scene doesn’t offer closure. Closure would be Izuku seeing that he could rely on his friends and telling them how he feels [he wouldn’t have to necessarily tell them about Eri - maybe just phrase it in another way that doesn’t reveal the mission]. Closure would be Izuku accepting that Heroes can cry too, and admitting he’s not okay. Instead, we have this

The scene feels... incomplete? Like there’s no knot at the end of the rope. Izuku is being comforted, but he’s not acknowledging his own feelings of sadness.

In fact, he’s shoveling food into his mouth to stop himself from crying, to shut himself up, to try and move forward and get past his little outburst.

I would go as far as to say this is self hatred eating, trying to quell that vulnerable part inside

I wouldn’t say Izuku HATES himself now. Rather, he just makes connections to his past quirkless self in his mind. It’s the negative emotion connection

Feeling weak? Well, you’re still like your quirkless self before! You’re still not good enough and useless!

Not strong enough? Sounds like back when you were quirkless! All weak and helpless! You can’t help anyone, which is why you need to get stronger, so you can move on from your past self!

Crying? Just like when you were quirkless! You always cried back then, like a helpless kid! You can’t be like that anymore, since you are now All Might’s Successor and A Hero, so stop crying! You’re not allowed to cry anymore!

Do you see what I’m getting at here? Izuku continuously represses these emotions as he gets stronger because he connects them to when he was quirkless. If you associate certain behaviors and emotions with how you were during a vulnerable and traumatic time in your life, you’re going to want to shove those emotions down so you don’t repeat what happened back then [in this case, Izuku sees himself being vulnerable as weak, and he saw himself as weak when he was quirkless, so he’s trying not to be vulnerable anymore].

And the scary thing is, now, we can even see the hatred in real time. I’m sure there are other examples in the manga, but one scene is very prominent in my mind, and it’s this one

Izuku is so incredibly strong now, he has saved many people, but he still can’t view himself as anything other than “useless” or “helpless” unless he powers through death itself just to break himself more. He almost feels like he HAS to do that in order to be seen as worthy, for himself and others. When he’s struggling, bleeding and heavily injured, he yells at himself as if it’s all his fault.

It’s not about whether he’s aware he’s actively dying or not. To him, being worthless and useless is infinitely worse than dying.

Actually, the way Izuku practically yells at himself in this panel reminds me of when he was walking home in chapter 1 after his chat with All Might [shown above when talking about All Might’s impact]

There are two translated versions of this actually that ring alarm bells in my head. There is the panel already pictured above, but I chose this panel too because I simply think it hits harder

“Don’t cry! You knew already, right?! This is reality...”

In either translation, he’s chiding himself. For crying. For being emotional.

And once again, I totally think this stems from emotional neglect. Trying not to get too personal here, but I know what this feels like, and I know the effect it has had on me. I can’t be vulnerable or spill my feelings in front of people, it just feels illegal or smthg. Like it shouldn’t be done. And like... if you’re taught from an early age that, one way or another, your feelings don’t matter and that nobody is going to pay attention to you, why try, right?

Then you just begin to Not Feel Properly, and you become incapable of expressing your feelings in a healthy manner

Current examples of this?

Izuku literally not giving himself time to process anything, like worry, grief, sadness. If anything, the only emotion he gives time for is anger. And he specifically directs it at All For One, cause that’s his target. [we saw little bits of this in War Arc but it also applies to the current arc]

He can’t cry. He feels emotional, sure. But he never lets his tears shed.

And one last bit of evidence

I’d say most if not all of these sound about right

In conclusion I wanna hug Izuku

[mammonshuman92]

- It Takes Two - Pt. 2

(Mammon x Gn!MC)

Genre: angst to fluff (the fluff is coming I promise lol)

Warnings: cheating, not proof read , if i missed any TW’s I apologize

“We’re a little busy right now.” A familiar voice, biting and arrogant, came from his lap. His eyes widened, whipping his head around to look at you in his lap. Except it wasn’t you. It was her. His heartbeat accelerated as panic began to set in.

“No, no, no, no, no.” He chanted, standing up in an instant, causing the succubus to fall to the floor with a thud and a few profanities. As events began to unfold and the puzzle pieces started fitting together; when it was already too late, he realized what he’d done. A hard lump instantaneously forming in his throat. He turned to you, eyes wide with terror, hands on either side of his head tangling in his hair.

“MC..I..I-It’s not wh- I thought-” He choked out.

He followed your line of sight, which was glued to his undone pants and obvious arousal. With shaky hands and fingers unwilling to cooperate, he fumbled with his zipper, struggling to get it up. Arms from behind snaked around his middle, gently clawing at his chest. 

“Shall we finish what we started?” She hummed seductively, staring daggers directly at you.

You shook your head, a sob escaping your lips as a fresh wave of tears streamed down your cheeks. You brushed past Asmo, disappearing out the doorway.

What’s goin’ on..? ...This can’t be happenin’..

He shoved the girl’s arms off of him without saying a word, a scowl spreading across her face. He made a beeline for the door, Asmo quickly stepping in front of him to block his way. “Don’t. You’ve done enough..” With venom lacing his tone, he looked the succubus up and down. He turned his glare on his brother for just a moment, the utter disgust they held was evident, before running out the door after you. As his figure disappeared, Mammon could feel the reality, the weight of the situation setting in.

His heart was pounding against his ribcage, breathing becoming erratic. The lump in his throat was unwavering, choking him as tears streamed down his cheeks. The gravity of it all bringing him to his knees.

“How moving.” The voice behind him scoffed, reminding him of her presence, “It almost seems like you love them.”

His head whipped around to see her, lounging casually on the sofa as if nothing had happened.

“You.” He growled, harshly wiping his face with the back of his hand as he stood up.

 “Stay the fuck away from me!” He snarled.

She laughed lightly as she stood from the couch, crossing the floor until she was right in front of him. “Don’t be like that. Ten minutes ago you were ready to nail me on that couch.” She purred, her finger trailing down his chest, quickly moving lower. Like a flash, he grabbed her wrists and held her hands up in the air in front of her.

“Let me make one thing very clear to you right now. I don’t want ya. I only made out with you and shit because I thought ya were MC. I would never willingly do anything to hurt them.” He glared at her, making sure she caught that emphasis, before dropping her hands. “Your jealousy bullshit, and making moves on me while I’m drunk just made me lose the one thing that has ever been good about me..” He trailed off, releasing his grip in her.

She rolled her eyes, “Why are you getting so worked up over a human? There’s nothing special about-”

“Excuse me?” He growled. 

Mammon has always been the level-headed one when it comes to altercations, believe it or not. He never usually lets his anger get the best of him. After thousands of years of being the scummy brother, the thief, the loser, he got used to just letting people’s words fall upon deaf ears, so to say. But, that was not the case this time. You see, anyone could say whatever they wanted to about him, he didn’t care. He could handle whatever was thrown at him. 

You, on the other hand? Well, you’re flawless. In every miniscule way, you were perfect. That’s not saying that you don’t make mistakes, or drive him crazy sometimes, but to him there was absolutely not a thing about you he would change. Everything you did, everything you were, was absolutely immaculate.

Rage bubbled in his gut.

Leaning in closely, he towered over her, radiating ire. “I’m not gonna sit here and discuss why you’re wrong, seein’ as how it’d take all day, but what I am gonna to say is for a lesser demon, ya might wanna reconsider who you’re talking to. He spat, “Say one more thing about MC, and it’ll be the last time ya speak..” He whispered, glaring at her for a moment before taking a step back.

“Stay away from me and MC.” He warned once more, daggers in his eyes as he turned and bolted through the door.

If he had any shred of hope left, it was that you would talk to him and let him explain everything. He knew it was shitty, after everything that just went down, to even consider the possibility of you forgiving him, but he held onto that little shred of hope. Had he been in the right state of mind, had she not taken advantage of the situation and the state he was in, he would’ve never even stayed in the same room with that girl, much less go as far as he had.

He felt awful. Whether he was so drunk he was convinced it was you on his lap or not, he felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. After seeing the horror, the heartbreak on your face; the tears that stained your cheeks because of something he’d done, he kinda didn’t want you to forgive him. He didn’t want to lose you, couldn’t imagine continuing on without you in his life, by his side. But if you hated him now, he wouldn’t blame you. He deserved it. And he would live with it for the rest of his existence, knowing that he messed up his only chance at true happiness; at spending his life with his soulmate.

-

You bobbed and weaved as quickly as you could through the crowd of club patrons, needing to get far away from here as fast as you could, as your impending breakdown was sure to be a sight to see.

You were already so out of it; physically present but mentally, your brain had already shut off. Not quite sure how to handle the current situation. All the faces in the club were just a blur; you could feel the bass of the music reverberating inside your chest, but you couldn’t hear anything. Kind of like when you’re somewhere so quiet, the absence of sound feels so heavy, deafening.

You had to get out of here. Heart hammering wildly, you felt as if you couldn’t breathe; like the walls were closing in on you. A panic attack was setting in. Finally free of the sea of people, you darted out the front door of the establishment, running as fast as your legs would take you back to the House of Lamentation. Hoping that no one else would be home to see you; becoming witness to your unraveling.

-

*bing*

*bing, bing* *bing*

Your D.D.D. continued going off with near constant notifications well into the night. You could’ve just put it on silent, but you just couldn’t seem to move, frozen by heartbreak. Apparently several pictures were going viral on Devilgram, leaking this rumor and that regarding the second born and the succubus. Further making you look and feel like a complete fool.

Mammon had also been blowing up your phone since you made it back to the HOL. He had even come by your room in an attempt to talk to you but once he realized the door was locked, which had never happened the entire time you’ve lived here, he sat outside the door begging you to open it as loud sobs escaped him. As much as you wanted to, you didn’t budge.

Of course you still love him. How could you not? Hearing his desperate pleas and heartbroken sobs was almost too much for you. Although you were the one who had been betrayed, you wanted nothing more than to fling the door open, latch yourself onto him and never let go. But you couldn’t. Cheating is a dealbreaker. It’d happened before, in previous relationships, but shit this one hurt so bad, worse than any other heartbreak you’d had.

He had his faults, much like everyone, but he was so perfect for you, and treated you like you’d always dreamed. This couldn’t really be the end could it? Over, just like that? Completely smitten and in love two days ago, to heartbroken, crying on the bathroom floor. 

How are you supposed to move on from this? He’s your best friend. Or, was. How are you supposed to pass him in the hall, or eat dinner, or have House movie nights in the common room? How are you supposed to act like you're not still in love with him..?

-

The next week was pretty rough, to say the least.

You stayed locked away in your room when you weren’t at RAD; replaying the moment you saw them together, crying until the tears no longer fell; effectively torturing yourself. They’d all come knocking at your door countless times, trying their best to make you feel better. And while you appreciated it wholly, it didn’t help.

Avoiding Mammon was probably one of the hardest things you’d ever done, seeing as how you kinda live together. While it was extremely hard not to just run up to him and latch onto him like you always did, it seemed harder to just avoid him in general. 

During the first few days, he left small presents outside your door, had a couple of his brothers slip you notes, and waited for you after class a few times. After using every ounce of your willpower to avoid him, he left you alone. He still messaged you several times a day though, apologizing profusely, begging you to talk to him.

But, it was better this way right? Like ripping off a band-aid? 

That’s what you’d always heard anyway. Instead of asking questions and demanding answers as to why someone else chose to hurt you, you just cut it off right there, ghosting them; removing yourself completely from their life. Because if they truly cared, really loved you, they wouldn’t make the conscious decision to do something that they know would hurt you, that stepped outside the boundaries of your relationship. Their reasoning doesn’t matter. Aside from living in the same house and attending the same school, you had pretty much ghosted him.

In public anyway. In the privacy of your room, where you could feel everything to its fullest, you’d spend hours going through pictures, skimming Devilgram for any new gossip about the two of them. Re-reading your old text messages, finger hovering over the send button of the text you’d typed out a hundred times before deleting it and tossing your phone, a new wave of tears pricking your eyes.

-

Unable to sleep, he’d tossed and turned in his bed so much that his body ached and one of the corners of his sheet had popped off the bed. With a heavy sigh, he rolled over and grabbed his D.D.D. off the nightstand. Squinting his eyes harshly when he unlocked the phone.

“3:41am” He groaned, tossing the phone back onto the nightstand. He turned back over, facing the empty side of his bed. Sure, he didn’t often share it before you, but once you started sleeping together, he wasn’t sure how he’d ever slept before you came along. It just felt right. Your body molded against his, sleeping peacefully in his arms.

His hand trailed down the cold, empty sheets; the slight disruption releasing your smell. A hard lump formed in his throat as tears pooled behind his lash line. He sat up quickly, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palms. With a heavy sigh, he stood up and grabbed a pair of pajama pants, making his way to the door. If he had any hope of being able to fall asleep again, he’d need some help drowning his thoughts.

He quietly made his way to the kitchen, fully intending to turn up the bottle of Demonus Lucifer kept hidden in the dark recesses of the pantry. As soon as he stepped foot in the kitchen, he froze.

It had only been seven days, but it felt like a lifetime. Seven days without being in the same room as you for more than just a moment before you ran in any direction as long as it was away from him. Not that he could blame you. He wanted to run away from himself..

Which is exactly what he was determined to do with Demonus, had he not stumbled upon you sitting with your back to the fridge, crying into a half eaten container of chocolate frosting. 

Immediately alerted to the figure in the doorway, you jumped up, attempting to wipe at your face as you muttered an apology, but paled when you saw who it was that disturbed you. You slowly sat the container on the counter, keeping your eyes fixed on the man in the doorway.

What was left of his heart, shattered at the sight of you. Your eyes were puffy and red with dark bags underneath them. The same eyes that looked at him with such deep burning love, were now dull and lifeless as you stared at him. You were visibly broken, anyone could see that. He was the reason you looked like this; like an abandoned puppy, beaten and abused. He hated it. Hated himself.

He moved out of the doorway and into the kitchen, freeing up the only way out in case you wanted to run. Not that he blamed you. If he could run from himself right now, he would.

But, now you were in the same room together for the first time in a week and he didn’t want to waste the opportunity. Maybe if he just started talking you would listen, even just a tiny bit to what he had to say.

“MC, I-”

“Don’t.” Your voice trembled slightly as your eyes began to sting.

“Please, just hear me-”

“And what are you going to say, hm? That you’re sorry? Sorry you did it, or sorry you got caught?” You hissed with tears in your eyes. Mammon slightly recoiled from the tone of your voice, a tone he’d never heard from you. You hated being this way; angry and bitter, wanting him to hurt like you did. It was surely petty, but you didn’t care.

“MC, listen, I swear I didn’t do anythin’, okay? I was still goin’ strong from an all night drinkin’ binge, an-and she just showed up in the VIP lounge. I told her to fuck off but she didn’t listen. I was already pretty out of it when things started happenin’ and I thought it was you. I thought it was you the whole time! I-I didn’t know it was her till I heard you and Asmo and realized what happened! She took advantage of the situation, of me bein’ way too drunk..” He was talking so fast, trying to get out the words he’d been wanting to say to you. 

Narrowing your eyes, you stared at him suspiciously.

What if he really didn’t do it on purpose..? If all of that is true, it would explain why he looks so rough..

Having barely stayed in the same room as one another for several days and not wanting to look at him, wanting to remain strong and now cry in front of everyone, you hadn’t noticed but how awful he looked as well. He clearly hasn’t been sleeping well, judging by the giant bags under his eyes. Not to mention that he is also currently awake at 4am, looking just as much like shit as you did.

“Then why is it all over Devilgram that it’s been an ongoing fling?” You questioned, a few tears escaping.

“I would never do anythin’ like that, MC! She’s just jealous or somethin’, I don’t know what her issue is.. But, I-I love ya, more than anythin’ in the three realms. Even Goldie!”

You could feel yourself caving in with every word he said. It made sense, judging by how she’d randomly confronted you after school that day after whispering about you with her friends all day, it seemed like jealousy could be plausible. But what proof did you have? It was his word against what you saw with your own eyes. Not to mention everything on Devilgram.

“Funny, from where I was standing, it sure looked like I was the last thing on your mind.” You hissed, causing him to flinch; but he wasn’t backing down yet.

“Just let me prove it to ya, okay? I-I’ll do whatever I gotta do. Please, MC?” His deep, sapphire blue eyes bore deep into yours; the sorrow, the agony they held was immense. The crack in your armour deepened.

He could see that you were wavering, but that you were hesitant, scared to believe him; to trust him. He couldn’t blame you. If he were on the other side of all this, he wouldn’t believe his words either. He didn’t expect you to just hear him out then jump into his arms and ride away into the sunset. He knew better. He knew he’d have to prove it. He was more than willing to do whatever it would take for you to trust him again, to believe that he’d never hurt you intentionally.

He took a step toward you, careful and anxious, as if you would bolt if he moved too suddenly. He reached out for your hand slowly, reluctant at first but upon realizing how much you’d missed his touch as his warm, much larger hand enveloped yours, you caved so easily.

He squeezed your hand lightly, looking down at your entwined fingers, gently rubbing the side of your thumb. You felt something wet hit your hand a couple times, realizing quickly that they were tears, you attempted to swallow the lump in your throat that was quickly forming.

“Please? I’m miserable without ya..” He asked, voice cracking slightly.

Even after everything that’s happened the last week, you couldn’t stand to see him in such pain; miserable and broken. Just like you.

Sure, he was always stand-offish about his feelings and the like before you got together, but once it was all official, that was it; the walls came down. There had never been a single time that he lied to you or went behind your back with anything. He lasted exactly twelve minutes after buying your birthday present before he couldn’t take it anymore and spilled the beans. 

He’s always a goofball, sometimes has bad timing and isn’t always the best with words, but he’s never given you a reason not to trust him before; he’s never been anything but an amazing boyfriend that genuinely tries his hardest to make you happy.

“One.” You whispered, barely audible. His head snapped up, deep blue eyes scanning yours. You closed your eyes, taking a deep, yet shaky breath.

“One chance. That’s it.”

No sooner than the words left your lips, Mammon was pulling you flush to his chest in a bone crushing hug. Had you not been utterly craving his touch, to be held by him, you would’ve pushed him away. That’s what you told yourself anyway.

“I won’t make ya regret it, MC.” He earnestly swore, squeezing you gently.

For the sake of your heart, you hoped he was right.

~ taglist ~

@ithinkimdekubutreallyimdenki

@maybe-nott

@bandaged-despair

@bokuto7stan

@aliackerman

- part three coming soon -

[flightfoot]

I’m kind of mixed in trying to figure out whether or not, or to what extent, that Ron the Death Eater that’s thrown at POCs is racist. 

Like, on the one hand, fics that make Finn try to rape Rey so that Kylo Ren can come to her defense and beat him up align with old stereotypes Scary Black Men coming to rape White women, and have zero grounding in the actual story and characters.

But on the other hand, this kind of thing would probably happen to some extent even if Finn was White. People tend to inflict Die For Our Ship on anyone who might “get in the way” of the couple that’s being promoted, and if one character is a Draco In Leather Pants, there’s a high chance that someone will undergo the Ron the Death Eater treatment in order to make them look better by comparison.

Or an example that I, sadly, have far too much experience with, and I absolutely despise - the way Alya’s made into Lila’s stupid, cruel minion in many, MANY Miraculous Ladybug saltfics, with her helping to beat Marinette up, send her death threats, pressure and manipulate Marinette into being the class servant, or even straight-up nearly kill Marinette - usually with Chloe, who’s canonically the class bully and who Alya stood up to for Marinette’s sake on the day she met Marinette, being made into Marinette’s new best friend who helps defend her against Alya’s nastiness.

I hate it - especially since that plotline’s popular enough that it’s basically its own fandom - and it aligns with racist tropes about Black girls being dumb and dangerous, and with the reason Alya supposedly deserves this treatment being because she didn’t immediately side with Marinette that Lila’s obviously evil and deserves to be ostracized without being given sufficient evidence for that, there’s also an element of “she failed at being a perfect supportive, unquestioning Black Best Friend, therefore she’s a horrible person who deserves any retribution Marinette inflicts on her as punishment”.

However... I DO also think that, even if Alya was White, she’d still get a lot of this thrown at her. Best friends who “fail” the main protagonist in any way tend to be prime targets for Ron the Death Eater - heck, look at the titular boy himself, Ron, and how villainized and flanderized he’s made to be! Or other cases, like apparently in the Sailor Moon fandom, there was a trend of making the Inner Senshi horribly cruel to Usagi so she could get some new friends instead. Plus, the entire class in Miraculous saltfics usually gets that treatment (except for Chloe, obviously), with Alya being used as the face of the class more than anything.

Basically, I’m not sure how much of the usage of racist stereotypes and absurd Disproportionate Retribution while Ron the Death Eatering POCs is because those are just the sorts of awful demonizations that are normal for Die For Our Ship or for throwing at characters who “betray” the main character in some way, and they just happen to coincide with racist tropes, and how much of it is because of racism.

Mind you, whether race is a factor or not, I STILL despise when this sort of thing becomes common. I’m not okay with making a canonically good-to-okay character unspeakably horrible just to get the audience to hate their guts, it just becomes that much worse when it has bigoted undertones. Or overtones, depending on how blatant it is.

[rosaliestark01]

Dusk Till Dawn - Part 9

Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: Tony reveals who Y/N's real dad is and Y/N confronts her family.

Warnings: Swearing, violence, angst, maybe some cringiness???

A/N: Although @annies-marvel-imagines will no longer be posting more parts, she will still receive credit.

"Can someone please explain what just happened?" Clint asks as he sits against the wall of their cell. He flicks a piece of lint from his sleeve before looking at the others for answers.

"I'm sorry. Did you miss the part where Y/N kicked our asses?" Tony backtalks. It's evident he takes your betrayal extremely personally, more so than anyone else.

"No, I think I was taking my afternoon nap," Clint deadpans. "What I don't understand is why."

"This is all my fault," Peter sighs. His shoulders slump and the regret is clear as day. "If I hadn't let my guard down at the dance-"

Everyone in the cell groaned in exasperation. Peter and Tony hadn't stopped blaming themselves the entire time, and it was shattering the morale of everyone there as though their spirits weren't already broken.

"Now's not the time to be playing the blame game," Nat discusses. "We need to figure out a way out of here."

"We wouldn't be in this mess if Y/N hadn't stabbed us all in the back," Bucky mumbles under his breath. He knew that you were a good fighter, considering he and Nat were the ones who trained you. He just never imagined that you'd turn on him and everyone else.

"No," Steve responds. "Y/N wouldn't betray us if she didn't have a good reason. He had to have forced her or something."

"Sorry to break it to you," Ezekiel chuckles as he approaches the cell with you and Eloise by his side, "but I didn't force Y/N to do shit. Isn't that right, sweetheart."

"Yeah, dad," you reply. Peter seems to be the only one to notice how uncomfortable you were to call that man your dad.

"Dad?" Tony quotes. His face turns beet red, and, for a split second, you were afraid that a vein would pop. He stares at Ezekiel angrily before responding, "You-"

Before Tony could finish his sentence, Ezekiel pressed a button, causing a soundproof metal barrier to surround the cell.

"Don't worry about them, Y/N." Ezekiel laughed, beginning to walk away. "They'll get what they deserve soon enough."

"With our sponsor ready to move to phase two, we'll be unstoppable," Eloise added. You refrained from becoming visibly alarmed at the mention of a sponsor. It made sense that that would have explained how they could get a hold of such advanced technology.

"Your sponsor?" You questioned, trying not to seem too interested.

"It's nothing you need to concern yourself with," Ezekiel mutters, ignoring you in favor of questioning Eloise. "Has the shipment arrived?"

"Most of it," She states. They continue walking ahead of you, leaving you to wonder what the heck you've gotten yourself into.

-----------------------------

"Tony, is that true?" Rhodey asks. "Is that asshole Y/N's real dad?"

"You're kidding me, right?" Tony retorts. "Of course, that's not Y/N's real dad."

"Then who is he?" Steve questions, unaware of how Tony has been avoiding making eye contact with him.

"His name is Ezekiel Stane. His dad was my business partner until he betrayed me." Everyone nods their head, beginning to understand what was going on.

"And now he's using Y/n to get revenge," Steve finished. "Who is Y/N's real dad?"

Everyone looks at Tony expectantly. They're both eager to find out who your real dad is and curious as to why it is such a heavily guarded secret. Whoever it is, it can't be worse than the guy who is actively manipulating you as an act of revenge. When Tony fails to answer, Bruce speaks up.

"Dammit, Tony, this is important information," he exclaims, throwing his hands in the air.

"Banner is right," Steve declares, causing Tony to lose it.

"Fine! You want to know who her real dad is? It's you!"Silence engulfs the cell as everyone is too shocked to quickly process what Tony revealed.

"Is this a joke to you?" Steve's brows knitted in confusion and anger as he stared at Tony. Yet, the fear and bitterness that burned in his eyes told the truth. "I can't be Y/N's dad. It's impossible."

"You want to know how it's possible? Ask Fury," Tony seethed. He couldn't meet anyone's eyes, but he knew what they were all thinking.

"Fury knew?" Nat asks quietly, not ready to believe that Fury would keep something this important, something this profound, about you from her.

"Dammit, Tony. You had no right to keep this a secret," Steve yells as he begins to pace. The more he thinks about it, the more you look like someone from his past, someone he thought would be his future before he went in the ice.

"Didn't I?" Tony challenges. "Y/N is still my daughter."

"Now's not the time to fight about this," Nat mutters, still processing the information. "Y/N still thinks that that guy is her dad, and we need to find a way out of here."

"I don't think that Y/N thinks that guy is her dad," Peter pipes up. "You saw how uncomfortable she got when she called him 'dad', and I have a gut feeling that she's still on our side."

"I don't trust your spider-tingle, or whatever you call it. It's been wrong before," Bucky scowls, remembering one of the few times he remembers Peter's gut feeling had led them all into a few unpleasant situations.

"But I don't think it's wrong this time. I have faith in Y/N," Peter states confidently.

"I hate to say it, but the kid is right. Y/N is our only hope of getting out of here."

------------------------

"Would you fucking quit it? You're giving me a headache," Eloise fusses. At this moment, you'd give anything to shut her up. You came here to think, but all you could think about was how her constant bickering was distracting you. "You're not having second thoughts, are you?"

The two of you were in what Ezekiel called the "weapon room ." Although there wasn't a weapon in sight, you had a feeling that they were still in the piles of unopened metal crates that were stacked around the room.

"They're the Avengers," You tell her. "Aren't you worried they'd escape?"

In reality, you were more worried about helping them escape. You'd be lying if you said that you thought this out entirely through. You should have realized before you put your friends and family in a cell that you'd need to know how to get them out of it.

"Unlike you, I have faith in the cell Zeke created. There's no way they can escape without the remote," Eloise glares at you from where she sat. The dislike she had for you was more evident than ever, but you didn't have it in you to be sad about it. The sweet girl you became friends with months ago never existed.

"What remote?" You ask. Her eyes narrowed at you as though she were scanning you for any signs of betrayal.

"Like I'd tell you," she huffs angrily as she rises to her feet. Either way, learning about the remote gave you a new plan. "Unlike Zeke, I don't trust you for a second. Not when we've got your slimy boyfriend in a cage."

"He's not my boyfriend." The words, despite their truth, burned your mouth. Peter wasn't your boyfriend, but that didn't mean you didn't want him to be.

"Sure." The second she turns around to leave, you notice something peaking out of her pocket. This could be the remote, you thought. Then again, what if it isn't. Either way, you weren't going to pass up the chance in case it is.

"Eloise." She turns toward you, but before she could react, your fist collides with her jaw, causing her to collapse on one of the crates. You check to make sure that she stayed out cold before grabbing the remote.

You couldn't help the rush of anticipation as you make your way towards the cell. You weren't sure what you were going to say to them or if they were even going to hear you out, but you had to try.

"Okay," you mutter as you stand in front of the cell. You stare at the remote in your hand, and you click on the button that you hope would open it. Abruptly, the cell seems to unlock before a door popped open. Inside stood the shocked faces of your family, who you double-crossed.

"You guys probably hate my guts, but trust me when I say I had a good reason," you stated as you stared at their faces which were a mixture of anger, disappointment, and relief.

"Care to explain?" Nat crosses her arms dauntingly, prompting you to lower your head in guilt.

"Well..." You began, fiddling with your sleeve. "I'll start by saying that I made a mistake by trusting Eloise and Ezekiel."

"You think?" Bucky scoffed. You couldn't help the shame that washed over you at the sight of the disappointed looks etched on the faces of your two mentors. You knew it would take a lot to earn back their trust, but you hoped that this was a start.

"But when I realized that Ezekiel wasn't my real dad, I had to play along," you explain. You look up at everyone and hope that they'd understand. "I think that they're planning something big."

"Answer this. Did you start playing along before or after you kidnapped all of us?" Nat questioned. The look on her face is unreadable, which slightly unsettled you.

"It was the night of the dance," you confirm. You felt bad about ditching Peter that night. It wasn't until afterward that you remembered that Peter didn't like Gwen. Instead, he chose you. You just had to go and mess it up by choosing Eloise. "They started talking nonsense about Tony attacking them and how they needed to destroy the Avengers, so I played along to find out what their endgame was."

You subtly wince at the way Tony's face fell when you used his name, regret washing over you immediately. For all you knew, Tony is your real dad, and the file that Hydra had on you was one big lie.

"What do you think they're planning?" Peter asks. You meet his eyes for the first time and answer honestly.

"I'm not sure, but Eloise said something about their sponsor being ready to move on to the next phase." You let the severity of the situation soak before continuing. "They've already received truckloads of metal crates just like the one we got from that Hydra base weeks ago."

"The one with the red wax stamp?" Nat asks, meaning she remembered.

"Exactly."

"So, do you have a plan?" Sam asks, getting up from the floor.

"Yeah." A small smile made its way to your face as you look at your family. "I have a plan."

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