#he was literally the devil in season 1

[honeygrahambitch]

I love how us as a fandom draw the line only for professional malpractice. Cannibalism? It's ok those were rude people. Hobbs and Randal? It's fine, Will did it in the name of justice. Framing Will? Also okay, Hannibal didn't know how to flirt. Feeding Mason's face to the dogs? He was an asshole, good for him.

But hiding Will's encephalitis? Sir, I would die for you and let you eat every part of my body but you went a little bit too far with that

[giantkillerjack]

Me seeing art for a show I both hate and thoroughly love to roast: Someone worked really hard on this as an act of love, and I will not reblog their work just to trash the show in their tags. The artist can see the tags. I will not do it. I won't. They're not hurting anyone. I am not going to-- I'm not. I'm not, I'm not going to do it, I am genuinely not going to I'm not--not even if I want to because GODS I want to but I won't I'll just make a separate post about it or something, it's not like everything I love is so perfect anyway, and I sure wouldn't appreciate it, goodness knows so I'm not going to do it EVEN THOUGH MERLIN IS

A STUPID SHOW AND THE PEOPLE WHO MADE IT

SHOULD FEEL BAD!!!!

(The people who like it don't have to feel bad. Both because it is genuinely a moral neutral, and also, well, they've already sat through all of BBC Merlin - they've suffered enough!)

[incesthemes]

in provenance, the impala is depicted as quite dirty and beat-up, scuffed up and covered in mud. this is not the typical image that comes to mind when you say a man loves his car. in later seasons too, the impala tends to look shiny and new, and dean is seen performing maintenance on it pretty regularly—at least, there are many scenes that show dean taking care of it, and there are also many scenes which touch on dean's possessiveness and care for his car.

this isn't the case in season 1. season 1 dean has a beat-up hand-me-down from his dad which he loves and admires but is still willing to let it get dirty and dented and scuffed.

in season 1, the impala represents john.

based on how john talks about the car in dead man's blood, he still has a semblance of ownership over it: john gave dean the car, but he still considers it "his" in the sense that he feels entitled to judge how dean cares for it. dean, too, doesn't argue with this. in season 3, dream dean even uses this against real dean to drag out his insecurities and his abysmal self-esteem:

both john and dean agree that the impala is john's car. this makes sense because the impala is also sam and dean's literal home, or the closest to home they've ever gotten.

you have a good "home is where the heart is" kind of connection here: the impala is home, and john is the impala—john is home, john is their father, john is the thing that connects sam and dean by blood. et cetera et cetera.

so if the impala represents john, then how dean treats the impala gives the audience a lovely visual metaphor for how dean feels about john. provenance is just one episode after something wicked, where dean is finally starting to extricate himself from his father. the entire season has followed dean as he experiences betrayal after betrayal from his father, and in shadow we see evidence that he doesn't actually believe that his father will come to protect them anymore—he's effectively given up on john as someone to rely on, and he's spent the whole season separating himself from john and attaching himself to sam instead. provenance gives a nice wink and nod at this by showing the state of the impala—dean is upset with john, their relationship is crumbling, and dean doesn't know how to repair it.

one episode later john remarks on the state of the car, and one episode later dean finally defies his father for seemingly the first time.

so when dean starts destroying the impala in everybody loves a clown, what dean is actually destroying is john.

he feels angry, upset, hurt, betrayed all over again. john is dead, and his final words to his son gave him an impossible task. dean takes the crowbar to the impala right after sam corners him into another conversation about john—this is an outpouring of his emotions about him, all concentrated on the last remaining symbol of his father.

but what i think is interesting is that sam doesn't see the impala this way.

sam sees the impala as dean. the symbolism here is very, very obvious. if sam gives up on the impala, then he's metaphorically giving up on dean. and sam refuses to let dean die, so he can't let the impala die, either. to sam, the impala is dean. which necessarily means that to sam, dean is his home, as well.

which is exactly what he just chose in the season 1 finale when he picked dean over his revenge. sam spent the entire season scared to "go home," and in devil's trap he finally returns for good to his home—to dean.

and in bloodlust, the impala is fixed, and she's shining like new. from this moment on, dean shows a rather pointed possessiveness over his car.

this is also the first time dean calls the impala "baby." this is the first thing that happens after dean destroyed it in the episode prior. the dissonance gives a sense of rebirth: something happened between dean destroying the impala and dean fixing it. something happened between dean using the impala as a stand-in for his father and dean calling it his baby.

in season 2, the impala no longer represents john. john is dead, and dean killed him. "home" is no longer centered around john; their father is no longer the thing that connects sam and dean. in devil's trap they chose each other, they chose codependency, they created a relationship between them that transcends the family structure they inherited from john. john is not part of this new relationship—it's just sam and dean now, and john is dead.

dean assimilates to sam's perspective when he rebuilds the impala: his car is now an extension of himself, and he is the home that sam chose. this is now his car, not john's; he is now sam's family, not john. and throughout the first half of season 2 dean struggles with this new responsibility and what that means for him—how their codependency should work, whether or not he should try to fill john's shoes, what "home" is supposed to look like for them without john in it.

i think it's an interesting way to depict dean's emotional shift across this stretch of episodes. seasons 1 and 2 especially do a lot of great work to depict john even in his physical absence, from allegorical substitutes to his haunting presence to this, representing him through the symbol of their literal home. noticing this makes me much more emotional about the impala's role in the story, because it's a physical manifestation of the effort dean put in to become sam's home and commit to their codependent relationship. he loves his car because it's his home, and his home is where sam and dean's hearts are.

[thepunkmuppet]

the possible future of the hatchetfield series: hatchetfield halloween party livestream full rundown

again apologies if someone has already done something like this, but I’m procrastinating doing my coursework and just want to talk about hatchetfield I want everyone to be aware of this exciting stuff that was announced in the stream so here you go:

the next starkid musical to be released will not be in the hatchetfield universe.

the guy who didn’t like musicals will soon be ready to license.

nightmare time 3 was originally planned to be released in the same year as nightmare time 2 and will wrap up the overarching nightmare time stories (which seem to be miss holloway and the foster sisters respectively).

if they did a fourth hatchetfield musical, it would be about miss holloway and her backstory. it is already written. I am very very extremely normal about this fact 😃

there is a possibility of a hatchetfield movie, and workin’ boys was sort of a test for this concept. it would be a slasher murder mystery centering around the hatchetfield community players (zoey chambers and the cast of workin’ girls, possibly also with ruth, hidgens, alice and any other theatre-oriented characters but that part’s just my speculation). the transcription of the teaser description can be found below the nmt descriptions.

ok so here are the transcriptions of the nmt3 episode descriptions:

Story #1: Bottle Imps

Bill Woodward has been chosen to test CCRP’s latest and greatest product; Bottle Imps. These reality-bending buddies will bring their owner the one thing they desire most. When his new imp, Lovely, leads him to his soulmate, Bill decides to use his magical companion to play matchmaker. But to help Charlotte find the man of her dreams, Bill will have to bend the Imp’s rules. Rules he’s been warned, must never be broken…

Story #2: Frankenruth

Desperate to see a naked body, Ruth Fleming and Richie Lipschitz volunteer at the morgue of St. Damien’s Hospital. Their terrible plan becomes exponentially more terrible, when they become unwitting subjects in the experiments of the body-snatching madman, Doctor Laszlo, who claims to have conquered death itself. If Hatchetfield thought Ruth was bad before, then they will cower before the unspeakable horror of… Frankenruth!

Story #3: Becky Barnes Climbed a Tree

Becky Barnes is on top of the world! Not in a literal sense, of course. She’s deathly afraid of heights. After years of struggle, Becky’s life is finally everything she dreamed it would be. She’s engaged to her high school sweetheart, Tom Houston, and the two have a surprise baby on the way! But, as the couple prepare for the arrival of baby Marie, a shadow from Becky’s past returns to haunt them.

Story #4: Devil’s Night

Tim Houston has a crush. Unfortunately, it’s on his older, mature and totally cool babysitter, Grace Chasity, who he fears will never see him as anything but a snot-nosed little kid. But when a devilish maniac with murderous designs on Grace attacks Hatchetfield the night before Halloween, Tim must protect his beloved, or join the killer’s growing body count. It’s another slashing adventure on the night HE came home… Devil’s Night.

Story #5: (long special episode) Miss Holloween

It’s Halloween in Hatchetfield once again, and Miss Holloway is celebrating the same way she’s done for decades, staving off the horrors that go bump in the night. But when Duke gives her an invitation to his wedding, the dejected Miss Holloway begins to chafe under the terms of a contract forged many years ago. She strikes a new bargain, but unfortunately her creditors are known for their tricks, not treats. Just as Miss Holloway gives up her powers in exchange for a mortal life, a monstrous new threat rears its ugly head. As All Hallows Eve descends, and all Hell breaks loose, Miss Holloway must save the town or die trying… for real this time.

Story #6: (long special episode / season finale) Orb Weaver

Lex Foster had a life once. A home. A boyfriend. Now there is only the road, and her sister, and the fear of the men who are hunting them. As Hannah Foster watched Lex sink deeper into despair, she is certain of only three things: Webby is gone. She cannot help them. They are alone. Elsewhere, an old soldier awakens from a catatonic state. Returned from some unimaginable Hell with a mission. He knows that somewhere, two magical girls require immediate evac… then maybe some coffee.

very important: if you want nightmare time 3, WATCH NIGHTMARE TIME 2. BUY A TICKET TO THE LIVESTREAM. SHOW THAT THERE IS LOVE AND DEMAND AND IT’S WORTH THEIR TIME AND MONEY I AM BEGGING YOU

hatchetfield movie: Cast Party Massacre

The Hatchetfield Community Players. You will never find a cattier troupe of two-faced thespians. But when the blood begins to flow at their latest show’s cast party, they must consider: is there a secret murderer in their midst? And more importantly, who amongst them is a good enough actor to pull off such a performance? Can they set aside their petty squabbles and tangled romances, or is it curtains for this ensemble? Who will survive… the Cast Party Massacre!

[noneorother]

Oh my god, season 2 is The Tales of Crowley Hoffmann

I guess this has to be a series now too. Part 1 l Part 2

When Aziraphale wants to perform a show-stopping magic trick in S2E4, he is shown the "Professor's Nightmare," a rope trick, and references "Prof Hoff himself" at the end of the minisode.

Because we love double meanings so much around here, I decided to actually watch the Powell & Pressburger epic opera film "The Tales of Hoffmann," assuming it was the another P&P easter egg and the other Hoffmann (not the magician) that was being referenced.

One, this movie is unhinged. Two, this season IS The Tales of Hoffmann. Allow me to explain...

There are shot for shot quotes literally everywhere throughout the season.

P&P The Tales of Hoffmann (Automaton Ball) & Good Omens Season 2 "The Ball"

P&P The Tales of Hoffmann (Hoffmann watches Stella perform) & Good Omens Season 2 "The one with the zombies"

P&P The Tales of Hoffmann (Clerk in Automaton Ball) & Good Omens Season 2 "The Ball"

P&P The Tales of Hoffmann (Tale of Antonia, Hoffman & Antonia) & Good Omens Season 2 "The Clue Crowley & Aziraphale"

P&P The Tales of Hoffmann (Prologue) & Good Omens Season 2 "The one with the Zombies"

P&P The Tales of Hoffmann (Tale of Giulietta Banquet scene) & Good Omens Season 2 "The Clue Banquet scene" *By the way Hoffmann wears a goatee for this tale

P&P The Tales of Hoffmann (Prologue "Dragonfly dance") & Good Omens Season 2 Prologue "Before the Beginning" *This is Stella and un unknown devil drangonfly, NOT Hoffmann

P&P The Tales of Hoffmann (Tale of Antonia) & Good Omens Season 2 "The Clue"

P&P The Tales of Hoffmann (Tale of Antonia) & Good Omens Season 2 "The one with the Zombies"

P&P The Tales of Hoffmann (Automaton Ball) & Good Omens Season 2 "The Ball"

P&P The Tales of Hoffmann (End credits through Hoffman's glasses) & Good Omens Season 2 end credit scene.

Stella & Aziraphale. This one makes me laugh.

There are SO MANY MORE, but tumblr has an image limit. Seriously, it's nuts.

2. It seems simple and straightforward, but it's not at all

" Why would ambitious filmmakers simply film an opera? Many admirers of the work of Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger have assumed that their decision to make The Tales of Hoffmann (...) was in some way an admission(...) that they couldn’t go on making their edgy, over-the-top melodramas after the rejection and interference they’d suffered (but) there’s a case for considering The Tales of Hoffmann as one of the finest and boldest works that Powell and Pressburger produced, so far ahead of its time as a wholly “composed” film, combining visual and musical elements, that it has still not been fully appreciated... Late in his life, Powell himself said that he thought it was one of the best films that he and Pressburger had made. What makes the film so remarkable is a series of paradoxes: the fact that it virtually reinvented the freedom and fantasy of silent cinema while making full use of Technicolor and a stellar cast of dancers and singers..." - Criterion, The lives of marionettes

3. The structure of the story is the same as the show

Here is the story of the Movie** (Not really the Opera that inspired it) In the prologue, we see the dance of the dragonflies onstage at a ballet. Count Lindoff (very bad dude) is spying on both the principal dancer Stella, and the audience member Hoffmann (who's admiring her). Lindoff is behind the scenery. During her dance, Stella passes a love note to her assistant for Hoffmann. The bad dude intercepts it out of jealousy. During the intermission, Hoffmann goes down to the tavern next door, watched by his sort of buddy in red, Nicklaus. People ask him to tell stories to while away the time, and so he tells 3 stories (actually four but we'll get back to that).

We launch into 3 tales/minisodes in other times and places : 1. The Tale of the Ball of the Automaton where he falls in love with a robot. He is humiliated. 2. The tale of Venice (Giulietta) where he falls in love with a courtesan/double agent who crosses him. 3. The tale of Antonia, where he falls in love with a girl who feels trapped by her living dad, her dead mom and a mysterious bad dude (Lindoff). She is murdered in a ring of fire, but becomes a ghost and is resurrected and sent back to earth. At the end, we snap back to the tavern in the real world. Hoffmann reveals that these three women are all metaphors for how he feels about Stella, his true love. He's drunk and depressed now, thinking she never sent for him after the show. Stella arrives in the tavern looking for Hoffmann, ready to run away, but now accompanied by Lindoff (dressed as an angelic figure) who followed her. She looks to Hoffmann to save her, but he's too blinded by the fact that he doesn't think she loves him back to pick up on the signal. He gives up, and she goes back up the stairs guided by Lindoff. Her assistant (who was bribed by Lindoff at the beginning) is given the go ahead by Lindoff to go back to the tavern and taker over. They close the door to the tavern, while she walks up ethereal stairs with the bad dude. THE END.

The one story that doesn't fit into the minisodes and is told in the real world is Kleinzach. We understand by the end of this one that this is Hoffmann's self loathing about never being good enough for Stella, because Stella is perfect and Hoffmann is ugly and deformed. The main love interest attempts to steal Kleinzach's essence through a mirror by the end. 4. Powell & Pressburger recast four actors in new roles In The Tales of Hoffmann, P&P decided to recast four of the principal actors/dancers from the film The Red Shoes in new roles, wanting to recreate the magic that they brought to the first ballet film. Sound familiar?

5. Crowley is Hoffmann

"The Tales of Hoffmann" original 1881 costume concept for Hoffmann & Crowley costume sketch for S2E3 1827 Edinburgh. Glasses are a really important aspect for Hoffmann in both the opera and the movie versions of The Tales of Hoffmann. Hoffmann is gifted metaphorical magic glasses that he wears to be able to perceive his love in a way they aren't really in real life. In the opera, he wears dark glasses to shut out the real world, not just as a metaphor. Check out a modern day version of the opera's Hoffmann costume :

He's french and slamming a beer but you get it. Crowley also canonically loves watching movies. It would make so much sense that his minisode recountings with him and Aziraphale would resemble different styles of movie that he loves. Seeing as we see him drive away at the end as the last character, an argument could be made for him being the ultimate narrator of the story in season 2.

6. The original American release of The Tales of Hoffman had 14ish minutes cut out of it by the studio. So we all know by now that whole debacle about having the clocks jump 14-15ish minutes during the kiss?

"The Tales of Hoffmann found an audience far wider than expected, despite Korda’s misgivings about the movie’s running time and his decision to cut 14 minutes out of the film for its American release." - Criterion, The Tales of Hoffman

I have been unable to unearth what the difference between the American & British versions of the P&P Tales of Hoffmann is, if you know let ME know. I want to know! _____________________________________

And I HAVE SO MUCH MORE. This is long enough already so I'll save the more detailed stuff for a new post.

**The opera is a whole other beast. You can read about it here, but basically there's a lot more going on in the opera because the composer died before finishing it, and multiple versions exist after the original uncompleted score got lost IN A FIRE. Anyway. Here's part 2

[giantmushyfriend]

Welcome back to the Ineffable lyric discussion (can I hear a wahoo)

In honor of the announcement of season 3 of our beloved Good Omens, I find it completely necessary for us to discuss one of the many songs on Aziraphale and Crowley's angelic playlist that made me scream my bloody head off. One of those songs is the one and only The Book of Love by Peter Gabriel. While I UNDERSTAND this song may have just been chosen to spell out SEASON THREE, I think it goes much deeper than that because of all of the parallels it draws to Aziraphale and Crowley. And ultimately, what I think is going to happen in terms of their relationship when they finally sort their shit out. So beware if you haven't watched season 2 of Good Omens because we're about to do a fucking DEEP DIVE into this.

First, the title of the Book of Love feels almost like a call to this looming threat to the Book of Life that was consistently used in series 2. The entire season, Crowley and Aziraphale have to work oh so carefully because with the Book of Life being confirmed, they know that either of them could get the other erased, and whether they want to admit it or not, losing the other is their biggest fear. We've seen this when Crowley believed Aziraphale to be dead in Series 1 when he couldn't feel Aziraphale's presence anymore since he got incorporated. When Aziraphale isn't there, Crowley is a mess. Likewise, we saw how both reacted during the ineffable divorce scene in series 2. Crowley is full-on begging Aziraphale to stay, and Aziraphale has finally admitted that he needs Crowley and full-on mouths for Crowley not to leave him. The Book of Life inherently, from how Neil set it up, feels threatening. The Book of Love, on the other hand, raises an entirely other reaction. Throughout the series, as corny as it sounds, love has been what grounds our protagonists. It is the love of Tadfeild and his friends that keeps Adam from kickstarting the end of the world; it's what keeps him from rejecting his father, the literal devil. It is the love of the earth, of humanity and all its strange creations, and for each other that keeps Aziraphale and Crowley attempting to prevent the end of the world when it could be so much easier to just accept the fate of it all. Love is the key theme that grounds our protagonists, that makes them tick. Love is safe; love is, at times, painful but overall kind. So when we see this title on their playlist, listed amongst heartwrenching tales of grieving a relationship, you could have had, and of loss, it brings a sense of salvation and safety. The Book of Love, unlike the Book of Life, is not a threat- it's a sanctuary for Aziraphale and Crowley.

Now, diving into the lyrics.

"The book of love is long and boring

No one can lift the damn thing

It's full of charts and facts, and figures, and instructions for dancing

But I

I love it when you read to me.

And you

You can read me anything"

The first couple of verses inherently feel like Aziraphale and Crowley's original view on this notion of love. As two supernatural entities who aren't bound by human emotion or logic, love may seem superficial and downright silly at times. The courting procedures that different societies have taken on throughout the centuries and the songs and dances that come along with it may all seem like a big waste. The book of love is a manifestation of love itself, and originally, it seems unappetizing to our protagonists. That is until they refind each other, and love goes from this thing that humans feel and jump through hoops for to this tidal wave of emotions. Love felt silly and unrealistic before, but with each other, they are willing and excited to explore it, even if it comes with things that feel inherently silly.

Also, these verses draw some cute parallels to headcanons and features of cannons. If you've been involved in the Good Omens fandom long enough, you've probably stumbled across the idea that Crowley asks Aziraphale to read to him for a multitude of different reasons. Some people say it's because his eyes aren't meant to read, one of the many punishments that came with him being cast down from grace, or maybe it's just because he finds Aziraphale's voice comforting. Additionally, the line about instructions for dancing is just so heartwarming when we look at the ball scene from this past season and Aziraphale's daydreams of a romance worthy of a Jane Austin novel.

"The book of love is long and boring

And written very long ago

It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes

Adn things we're all too young to know

but I

I love it when you give me things

and you

You ought to give me wedding rings"

I'm sure we've all heard this idea that you'll understand love when you get older, but even when you get older, it never seems to make sense. This idea that love is too old for any of us to truly understand, and that humbles us but in the best way possible. There is no point in trying to figure out what exactly love is because you could spend thousands of years feeling it and watching it happen all around you and still not know exactly what it is besides this all-encompassing feeling. And that is exactly the perspective of Aziraphale and Crowley. They have seen countless examples of love, true, unwavering love, and they have felt it for each other. And yet they themselves cannot begin to fathom what love, true unconditional love, is exactly. These two supernatural, ethereal/occult beings are humbled by the very concept of love like humans are- and that love is drawn from each other.

And then there is this notion of giving, which pairs so well with Crowley's primary love language, acts of service and gift giving. If the first chorus was Crowley talking about how he loves it when Aziraphale reads to him and takes care of him, then this is Aziraphale talking about how Crowley displays his love. And this final notion of asking for that final commitment, one of the key ways humans express their love for each other, is just amazing. Because in a way, Aziraphale moving to make this commitment, to fully be on their side in this way, is the resolution we have been wanting since the beginning. For Aziraphale to finally feel safe enough to let go and finally let himself settle to where he finally belongs, on his side with Crowley.

[watchyourbuck]

It’s so interesting to me that this entire season has been about ghosts. Both physical and metaphorical, but also conceptual and even made up. Hear me out.

We literally start off with the ghost of Shannon reading Christopher the letter she left for him. A letter Eddie gave to his son in hopes to somehow reunite them. The ghost itself doesn’t appear to Eddie, just to Chris, and we – the audience – can tell it’s her voice that they’re trying to emulate, considering that ‘I can’t remember her voice anymore.’

On that same episode we see the ghost of Athena’s and Bobby’s fears. I know it sounds like I’m reaching but think about it. Athena’s haunted by the fear of having made a mistake by marrying, while Bobby’s afraid he pressured her into it. It looms over them like some kind of shadow, pushing them apart.

Later, with the bi Buck’s arc, we see the ghost of Buck himself. Not the same way we did in the coma dream, though, rather like a devil on his shoulder. A ‘ghost’ in the way of a metaphorical reflection of his inner struggles to finally free himself. It looks for a while there like he’s haunted by the expectations of others and the weight of societal norms, all of which return to him, considering no one else is imposing them (and that’s literally what Tommy tells him: ‘no one’s looking at us, Evan.’).

By the wedding ep, the concept of ghost gets more literal. We see Chimney struggle between his life and his death, represented by Kevin and Doug, respectively. This is insane, actually, because it happens in so little time, but it’s so intense. Doug tries to drag him into the abysm, threatening him with the pain of the woman he can’t remember just yet, but loves to bits. His brother, on the other hand, leads him back home; their home.

Finally, we have Eddie literally hallucinating the ghost of his dead wife and projecting her onto another woman — whilst cheating on his current girlfriend btw. This one’s bonkers actually and it’s so clear to me that Eddie’s not well and that he’s living a delusion that’s gonna come back to bite him in the ass eventually. But alas, it’s the clearest form of ghost we’ve seen so far.

+ 1: Maddie and the ghost of her past (the girl on the passenger seat) on the domestic abuse call that turned out to be a little different than she thought.

[cbrownjc]

Spoiler for 2x02 (EPISODE 9) -- And the thing I scream out loud during one scene (and if you are a Devil's Minion fan, you know the scene I'm talking about):

"OH MY GOD ARMAND IS ALICE!!!"

Yes, that is literally what I screamed out loud when we got that quick flashback of Armand back in the 70s talking to Daniel about stealing and selling his dad's Playboy magazines . . . and then the cut back to Armand saying Alice wanted to say yes to his proposal, but didn't trust him.

Armand was basically hinting at what split him and Daniel up which is -- Armand didn't trust Daniel's love for him!

Which, you know, actually fits the book. Because Daniel so badly wanted to be a vampire and was addicted to Armand's blood, Armand would very much feel that once Daniel was turned he'd just run off or something and leave Armand behind -- that Daniel didn't want Armand at all, that he only just to be a vampire and that was it. (Wasn't that scenario in the Rice's Tulane notes, IIRC?)

Which, oh man, when Armand realizes that Daniel did really love him . . . 😩

But anyway, what I mean by Armand being Alice isn't that Alice didn't exist. I do think she does because otherwise there is something off because in Season 1 Daniel calls Alice his first wife. Meaning they did get married . . . unless Daniel has been lying all this time that he and Alice did get married because she really doesn't exist?

Gah! I need more dammit! (I need ep 2x05 now dammit! 🥺)

Anyway, I do think there are LOT of memories in Daniel's head that are truthfully about Armand but have been replaced with Alice to fill in/hide what the actual true memory was, which has been my long-standing theory about all this. But if Alice really does turn out to have never existed . . . and everything about Alice really IS just about Armand but Daniel really can't remember that . . . then what about her pregnancy? Does at least one of his kids not really exist?

. . . and as I just wrote that . . . I have long been thinking that Season 3 in Dubai was going to be very much like the play Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? And, if you know anything about that play -- particularly the plot point regarding George and Martha's son . . . 😮

Holy shit. . . yeah I think I now know why some reviews of Season 2 were comparing some of it to Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? 😧 😮

[icycoldninja]

May I please request headcanons for the Sparda boys + V finding out that their girlfriend has a very high sex drive but she tries to hide it due to being shamed in the past?

Sure, sure! Here ya go and enjoy!

Sparda boys + V x Fem!Reader with high sex drive headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-When Dante learned you had a high drive, he was thrilled.

-He didn't give two shits whether or not people had bullied or shamed you for it in the past--you were here with him now, and he was gonna treat you right.

-Now, any normal person would be tired out after a single round with Dante, but not you!

-You're a real baddie, able to last for hours on end. And if his human form ain't enough to satisfy you, then there's always his Devil Trigger, or maybe even his Sin Devil Trigger, if that doesn't do the trick.

-When demon mating season comes along, he'll be glad you're around for...umm...purposes.

■ Vergil ■

-Vergil has never been bothered by mortal things such as "sex drive", so upon learning you have a high one, he remains indifferent.

-HOWEVER, demon mating season is a different story, as during this time, all demons and half demons will want to...well...breed. Naturally, these lustful creatures will want someone who can keep up with them.

-Vergil's glad you have such a high drive because it means he doesn't have to hold back. He can go as hard and fast as he wants, without worry of hurting you.

-He can even Trigger, something he rarely does during sex, and literally go all out.

-Watch out, girl, Vergil might actually wear you out for once.

□ Nero □

-Nero was really excited when he heard of how high your sex drive was.

-He couldn't believe people had actually shamed you for it--wasn't being good in bed a good thing?!

-Nero then decided to take it upon himself to push your body past its limits, with the help of his prosthetic arm, of course.

-He'll utilize it like a vibrator; the double stimulation will drive you crazy in a matter of minutes, leading to complete exhaustion after a just few hours.

-Nero might not undergo mating season, but there is a seasonal period where he'll be extra horny and needs you for satisfaction. (thank 1/4 demon genetics for that)

● V ●

-V isn't really familiar with what sex drive is, or why you have a high one, but after some research, deems it to be "interesting".

-He showers you with praise to alleviate any lingering negativity brought on by your past, and if he wasn't so physically weak, he swears he would ravage you for hours.

-Instead, however, he will torture you for hours using his dexterous fingers and tongue, bringing you continuous, shuddering orgasms for hours and hours.

-Since V is not a demon, he doesn't undergo any mating periods or gets seasonal lust, but is ready to please when you get horny.

-Just...don't be too rough with him--he has his limits.

[mai-komagata]

when fandom doesn't resonate

So like, i know a lot of people are Rings of Power fans and don't know anything about book canon. That is fine, we accept all folks, and its awesome to see perspectives of new fans. But like, I loved haladriel in season 1, and I realized in season 2 the majority of the fans saw the ship COMPLETELY differently than I did. Like they were expecting more from the dynamic than we got. And I see them all being disappointed in how it turned out when this is like the best it was ever gonna be and exceeded what I expected. Galadriel isn't getting with a devil who lied and manipulated her. The most they will have is a metaphorical stabbing scene.

Like is this just not understanding who Sauron is, or projecting a different romance trope I'm unaware of onto this ship? Like i love a lot of dark enemy relationship tropes but this was never gonna be enemies to lovers. Because its *Sauron*. Like even if you never read the books he is an evil eye that is the representation of the devil in the movies. Surely that amount of cultural knowledge permeated popular culture?

Sauron ships are about how close you can get to evil without being corrupted. (well, except for angbang, that is the opposite of that) The sexiness is the evil and the violence, the gaslighting, the delusion and the what might be but won't be. It's the promise of getting everything you could ever want and getting absolutely none of it. That is the promise of the Ring and ultimately of Sauron, because that is who he is. To me, Haladriel is attractive because it is a tangible look into what it is to be tempted by the ring. Because the vague "you can conquer middle earth" "you can save your friends" "you can become king" don't mean anything. But I can relate to being mansplained and passed over despite my merit, and have someone be a perfect coworker/mentor/partner that will help you achieve everything you want. Someone that is a shortcut for that respect. Someone who lets you say *i told you so* to everyone. Someone who lets you get revenge and be bad without *being bad*. That is sexy but it's a lie.

But that part is also sexy. The being picked by someone supremely evil and powerful, of being special. And if you are masochistic, the pain and the powerplay is also sexy. The metaphors of fighting and penetration and whatnot, that is interesting. Not to mention the sheer hubris he displays, and self-delusion. But like, I knew Halbrand was Sauron like from the second scene we saw him. It was like "oh yep, that is what is going on". There was never any illusion to me that Galadriel can make him good. Or that he'd want to fix himself for her . He can definitely *see himself* in her or or *see things he wants of her*, and that is a thrill, but he is never gonna want that sweet life he is promising to her. That is so transparently a lie but it is amusing to see him have the absolute NERVE to be that shameless. Dunno, do dark ships need to be "enemies to *lovers*" or have promise of redemption to be attractive? Sometimes it's just dark sexy manipulation and violence. Also, Galadriel is still *good*. She is tempted because temptation is a theme of Tolkien. But the whole point is she resisted the darkness. She isn't gonna overpower Sauron's either, and keep him on a leash. That is literally what Morgoth did. (Sauron would be into that, though, but he'd be a brat about it). Anyway. Is it just because I knew who Sauron was all along? If you want a ship where you get to keep Sauron as a pet, maybe Angbang is for you? Maybe that is why I'm so glad for silvergifting in Season 2, we all seemed to be in the same page as to what is going on. This was gonna be so tragic and kinky we were all here for it. I just seem to keep getting burned by straight ship fandoms having a wildly different vibe than I expect from them.

[loveothislife]

You’ll be in tears by the end of André Aciman’s 2007 novel Call Me By Your Name. Turning that last page feels like being rudely cast out of the love story between Elio and Oliver, two men who must be together, who have to be together, because, in the words of Faith Evans, “I never knew there was a love like this before.” But if you’re going to be heartbroken, at least let it be via Call Me By Your Name’s audiobook, read gorgeously by the upcoming film adaptation’s star, Armie Hammer, whose voice is the audio equivalent of ordering a Lyft Line and having it all to yourself.

In this new excerpt from the audiobook, out October 3, teenage Elio (played in the film by Timothée Chalamet) describes having sex for the very first time with Oliver (Hammer), the 24-year-old graduate student studying under his father for the summer. Elio’s had a crush on Oliver for weeks, and in this scene, we finally learn the significance of the book’s title. In this excerpt (and at all times), Hammer’s voice is brimming with such melody that, if you listen to it long enough, you can probably get drunk off it. Because you’ll need a way to explain to your friends why you have to cancel on your plans because you have a date with Armie Hammer’s voice, here are 20 descriptions of that supernatural sound:

1. Armie Hammer’s voice sounds a little like Jon Hamm’s voice, if Jon Hamm’s voice was dunked in honey.

2. Hearing Armie Hammer say “fuck” in the Call Me By Your Name audiobook makes it totally fine that he had to say “Let’s gut the friggin’ nerd” in The Social Network, because, you know what, some things are just worth the wait.

3. To hear Armie Hammer say “languorous” is to feel like Obama is still president, he’s just taking a vacation, but he and Michelle will be back in the White House soon.

4. Armie Hammer’s voice is the physical manifestation of those wooden decorative signs at Marshall’s or TJ Maxx that sell for $24.99 that say “Your Husband Called And Said It’s Ok To Buy Anything You Want.” Armie Hammer’s voice sounds like the fantasy of luxury.

5. Sometimes, when Armie Hammer is in the heat of a particularly vivid description, Armie Hammer’s voice sounds a little like the man who does the Men’s Wearhouse commercials. You know, the guy who says, “You’re going to like the way you look,” and now you kinda want to Google the nearest Men’s Wearhouse. You know, just in case.

6. I suspect that Armie Hammer’s voice would smell like linguini, seasoned with Tasmanian pepper and lemon with Parmesan cheese on top. I’d need to speak with Armie Hammer in person to confirm this. 7. You know when you’re a regular somewhere? And there’s a long line, but, say, the barista or the clerk or the tailor motions you around the long line because they’ve got your order ready? That’s what Armie Hammer’s voice sounds like.

8. Armie Hammer’s voice is so deep and viscous it sounds like when Beyoncé performs “Love on Top” live and she sings the chorus again and again and again and again, but that last time she sings “Baby it’s you,” she switches it up and goes to a lower key!

9. Armie Hammer’s voice sounds like it’s soaked in maple syrup and — surprise! — you’re at Bubby’s, and there’s no line, and lucky for you, your James Beard pancakes with peaches have just arrived to your table.

10. Armie Hammer’s voice sounds as euphonious as Oprah’s voice, which is quite possibly the highest compliment you could ever pay another human.

11. The way Armie Hammer says “kiss” feels like you have literally been kissed, not by his lips, but by the sun itself. You took a picture of this sun-kissing, posted it to Instagram, and you’ve gotten a lot of likes.

12. The way Armie Hammer says, “Call me by your name and I’ll call you by mine,” feels like a shared secret too tender for this savage and cacophonous place called the internet, but here we are.

13. Armie Hammer’s voice feels like when you’ve decided to take a nap, but to hell with setting an alarm! You’ll wake up when you wake up, and everyone texting you will have to deal with it!

14. Armie Hammer’s voice sounds like when the violins come in on Nelly’s “Grillz,” which is to say that it sounds like the ideal combination of highbrow and lowbrow.

15. Armie Hammer’s voice sounds like the opposite of that swish-swish a nylon sweatsuit made in the ’80s, because Armie Hammer has never worn nylon, he exclusively wears corduroy or linen.

16. The timbre of Armie Hammer’s voice is identical to the timbre of the bells ringing on the last day of school, when you could dump the entire contents of your backpack into the dumpster right in front of the teacher who wouldn’t round your 89 percent up to an A-.

17. Armie Hammer sounds so sumptuous and moneyed, you might think you’ve paid off all of your student loans.

18. Armie Hammer’s voice inexplicably sounds like he’s both speaking to you and listening to you and deeply interested in every fleeting thought that pops into your head, even the ones about Mother!

19. Hearing Armie Hammer’s voice is like going to the salon and getting a really good shampoo, where they use a little bit of tea tree oil and massage your temples and then say it’s on the house.

20. There’s such melody in Armie Hammer’s voice that the devil has to work overtime to get a new Nickelback song in the world, just so everything stays in balance.

Vulture (September 21, 2017)

[bethgreeneprevails]

Just some thoughts I’d like to share with you all, feel free to share yours.

I’ve recently been racking my brain for any other way Daryl Dixon can get his “Happy Ending” other than Beth Greene coming back. I’ve been trying to play devils advocate with myself to see if there’s any possible conclusion we are missing.

There were only ever a few love interest “options” to begin with going into season 2 Daryl Dixon:

1. A brand new person

2. Car0l

3. Connie

4. Isabelle

*SPOILERS FOR DARYL DIXON SEASON 2 AHEAD*

After the script was leaked we found out that Isabelle will be dying this season so we know it can’t be her.

Daryl chose to leave Connie. He could’ve stayed with her at the Commonwealth and already had his happily ever after. He didn’t he left.

Car0l as a love interest was just utterly destroyed and debunked by the show runner himself.

The only option left is a brand new person. We are already into Season 2 of Daryl Dixon so to introduce a brand new character now for him to fall in love with would feel rushed. Much like him and Leah or him and Isabelle which is why the audience disliked both of them so much as love interests. Also if this was the route they were taking, shouldn’t they have introduced this character in the first season?

We can’t even have the argument that he will never get his “Happy Ending” because it’s quite literally been beaten to death (in a good way) over and over again since the final episode of TWD and is basically the synopsis for his entire show.

I truly feel like the only option is Beth Greene. She’s the only one that makes sense. Anything but her will feel rushed and forced.

[tumblingxelian]

I went and did a lil reviewing and its very interesting to look at Lila's situation regarding Catalyst and there's some fun observations to make in a vacuum.

1: This girls room has tons of masks.

I know that isn't a major thing but given what we know of her its like, "So you just wanna shout that you have a complicated relationship with identity is that it?!"

2: Her mom does work at the embassy

On the surface she seems nice enough if maybe very busy given she says she'll "Try" and be back before dinner. One can take Lila growling once she's gone as directed at Ladybug or her mother, or both.

But the dynamic also feels 'weird' & Lila's clearly used to instantly masking whatever she's actually feeling around her.

Assuming a "No child is born super evil" read, I'd say that either she is like Andre in that she can performatively show affection. But is not actually there for their child when they need it. In this case likely having failed Lila at some major interval that left a deep divide.

Or that she's one of those parents who can seem very nice and reasonable but if angered or offended or disgusted react very, very badly. I'd actually say this one feels the most likely given it would contextualize Lila's deceptive habits very neatly.

3: How much did she know?

The question of if Lila was "In on it" or a willing participant in the scheme is interesting. Cos its obvious she didn't know Gabriel's identity. But more to the point, thats he clearly wasn't even expecting Hawk Moth to come for her given she was surprised.

Like there is no one to be performing for here, that is genuine shock.

However, we all see her smirking after Hawk Moth has the Akuma leave her. But its worth noting she wasn't purified, the Butterfly just left. So while its obviously a headcanon I do feel the shift from shock and panic to stoic confidence is weird enough to thin it could mean more than just Lila is the devil.

Also is it just me or do her eyes seem more lifeless?

We do have Gabriel's dialogue to go off:

Hawk Moth: Fly away, my little akuma and evilize the one who's been waiting your return for so long.

But we've also seen him call Chloe his favorite "Victim" and its not exactly uncommon for people taking advantage of others to frame their victim as a willing participant.

With that in mind!

4: Oh they were 100% grooming Lila, yikes

So, we know from season 3 that Gabriel & Nathalie were fine undermining Chloe's mental health to the point of sabotage, gaslighting and hostage taking.

Thus it is perhaps no surprise they were doing the same with Lila.

Don't believe me? They have literal cameras on a fourteen year old and have clearly been keeping her under observation in their own words, for months!

Nathalie: (Hands Gabriel her tablet) Lila has been harboring her rage against Ladybug for months, and today wherever she looks, she'll see the object of her hatred, and as predicted, her anger will reach devastating heights. Your plan is perfect, sir.

But more pointedly is what is not said, or more, what is talked around, see this exchange:

Lila: (scrolls through laptop) Liar! Traitor! Coward! (comes across an interview with Gabriel Agreste and Nadja Chamack) Gabriel: (on the laptop) In honor of the wonderful Ladybug who has saved my son Adrien and myself, and who relentlessly protects all of us everyday, I have financed this tribute to Ladybug. Because Ladybug is the only true hero unlike her mediocre imitations, such as Volpina. Lila: (screams with rage and throws her laptop against a wall) I hate you, Ladybug!

Cue laptop against wall and then crying on the floor, again there is no one to perform for here, this has to be a genuine reaction.

What stands out to me is Lila's choice of words: Liar! Traitor! Coward!

If she was just angry he praised Ladybug & insulted Volpina these words don't make any sense. But they make a ton of sense if Gabriel or someone representing her contacted Lila about her time as Volpina.

(It does not seem Paris is aware she was an Akuma)

Likely telling her about Heroes' Day or otherwise framing themselves as very interested and impressed with Volpina saving Paris from that meteor. Only so they could have Gabriel twist the knife in on an interview.

Conclusion:

That's just an assumption but if not, why not call Gabriel a jerk and a fool or something, traitor and coward have very specific connotations that don't make sense unless she'd been led to believe Gabriel thought highly of Volpina,

Hell, how would they even know she'd find the interview unless she knew to look for it?

Yes yes, story contrivances, but if we want to base out logic in universe, Nathalie & Gabriel preyed again on an isolated and to one degree or another neglected as well as troubled child. Fed into her many issues, likely helping foster her isolation & resentments, just to betray and humiliate her for the purpose of using her as a weapon.

That is deeply fucked up, especially when you consider that they were spying on her and she has no idea any of this is happening!

All in all, I think its quite reasonable to read Lila as a fourteen year old taken advantage of and steadily warped by adults' who were using her for their own gain as opposed to someone just born evil.

[shunshunrika]

I just saw your megumi smut and need morrree! How about hanging out with the other sorcerers where he has to pull you away to have his way with you because your coyly teasing him.

(⁠ ͡⁠°⁠ ͜⁠ʖ⁠ ͡⁠°⁠).... I don't want to make it coy towards Megumi though:( so see if you like what the devil on my shoulder made me write~

It's so fcking long tho, sorry bout that but I needed to flesh it out or my brain would explode.

content warnings: Okay y/n is a bxtch and megumi is too. afab!reader x megumi fushiguro, SMUT. unprotected rough sex, oral(f! recieving), overstim, penetrative sex, dacryphilia, humiliation, restraints, orgasm denial, consensual, petnames, gags, and the like. I am NOT proofreading this monstrosity.

minors dni

word count: 2k

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

The glass bottle takes a decisive turn before its neck points indisputably at you.

"Y/N. The bottle chooses you. What do you pick?" Panda asks, a Cheshire smile gracing his face as the game of Truth or Dare between the adults draws on. It was Jujutsu High's 10 year reunion and all of you were grown ups and seasoned sorcerers now.

"Well since all of you pussies were choosing truth." You say, lifting your chin, "I choose dare!"

"Perfect!" Panda claps his paws together with Inumaki nodding beside him "Tuna Mayo!"

"I dare you to kiss one of the people here except Megumi ofcourse, for 10 minutes"

Well fair enough. These perverts won't make you kiss your sweetheart of 7 years in front of everyone. It won't be spicy enough since the two of you were practically a married couple to them. They wanted some drama and today out of all days, you felt like giving it to them.

As soon as the dare escapes Pandas mouth, Megumi lays a hand on your thigh under the drink ladden table.

Earlier in the day, Megumi had the balls to tell you to act 'civilized'. Recently, Megumi had hit the age where he looked a bit too irresistible (yeah, ironed formals, shadow of a clean shave, light lines of age and the sparkle of a young ceo, iykyk) and you were leaving no chance to smooch your sweetheart in public. Megumi didn't want you to showcase such behavior in front of your mates and former senpais.

Cool Megumi, then someone else will get your smooches and you knew already who the group favorite was to receive your kiss.

"w-w-why is everyone staring at me?" Yuuji Itadori quacked out, his faces barely hiding his embarrassment.

"We know you still like Y/N Itadori. Although Megumi's put a ring on her pretty much" Nobara elbows Yuuji mischievously while Megumi's grip on your thigh tightens.

"This is your time to shine,BROTHER" Aoi Todo (Yuuji's +1) slaps Yuuji's back hard, knocking the air out of him.

Wasting no time, you get up and head over to Yuuji's side of the table and slide between him and Maki as Yuuji literally starts to lose consciousness.

"Yuuji, I can't believe you still like me" you say, holding his face and looking into his teary eyes with passion. You decide to take it one step further and start unbuttoning his shirt gingerly while everyone lets out a gasp of horror.

"Y/N! The dare was to kiss not have..have..s-s-" Maki says nervously.

"You can't have sex here in public. Besides what about Megumi?!" Panda voices and all eyes turn to Megumi. Megumi who is known for having a composed nature didn't look quite composed in this moment. You smirk at your boyfriend.

"Aw. Megumi won't mind. Would you?" You coo at him, palming Yuuji's muscular chest.

"Well then" you say, lowering yourself to close the distance between you and Yuuji while Yuuji sweats bullets, unable to make decisions and wondering if his bestfriend will beat him up later.

In the last second before your action you saw Megumi's eyes go wide and heartbroken. You turned your head swiftly to kiss Maki on the cheek instead earning a shriek from everyone at the table.

"h-huh? Huhhh?" Maki goes, covering the cheek you kissed.

"What y'all really thought I'd kiss another man? How low is your opinion of me!" You say, pouting as you hear Yuuji and practically everyone else sink into their chairs in relief. Everyone except Megumi who gets up and grabs his belongings.

"I'll head home for the evening guys. Have fun" he says, making eye contact and smiling at everyone except you. You feel your jubilant smile drop quickly as you hurry to be beside him.

"W-well, guess I'll be going too" you say awkwardly, waving a goodbye to the stunned group.

Megumi ignored your declaration as he headed to his car without waiting for you and you had to practically chase him down before he could leave without you. You got into the Mercedes just as its engine purred to life smoothly.

"Megumi!" You gasped, trying to catch your breath. "Are you nuts? Were you going to leave without me?" You asked in a panic while Megumi remained as cool as a cucumber and gave you no reaction nor response whatsoever. He simply drove at lightspeed, hands not letting go of the steering while you pleaded with him.

.

"Megumi. It was a joke alright." You said, hastily removing your strappy heels, cursing at how difficult they were. Megumi had already shut the door behind him as he entered the house. When you managed to open the door again, you screeched "You're fucking overreacting!"

Dead silence.

Megumi had stopped in his tracks to turn to look at you with fearsome eyes bearing a shadow of hostility. You gulped at his aura.

"I am overreacting? Huh?" He said, approaching you and pulling you by the hand towards your shared bedroom.

"I'm overreacting? Let me see. That means I can call Nobara here and fuck the brains out of her no?" He asks, his eyes guaging your reaction. You are unable to speak, struggling under his iron grip.

He opens the door to your bedroom and pushes you onto the bed.

"You want me to bring Momo and Miwa here and overstimulate the daylights out of them right in front of you? I'd like that to be honest. It really turns me on you know. Ahhh."

"Me-Megumi, stop that." You say, looking up at his towering figure from the bed. "You don't have to go that far."

"What's wrong?" He asks. "Feeling bad?" He deftly removes his striped tie from his collar in one go and wraps it in rolls around his hand.

"You're so dramatic Y/N." Megumi smirks. "I'm not doing anything, I'm just voicing my thoughts. You should get the joke" he says, grabbing both of your hands in one of his and tying them up with his tie.

"I'm sorry." You say timidly. You'll be fine after all. He's going to have makeup sex now.

After every argument you have ever had with Megumi, he always turns to makeup sex as a way to express his apology incase the fight got too heated. He hasn't ever used his tie as a restraint during makeup sex before though, so that left you curious and directionless.

"Nobara." He declares. "that's the safe word." An evil glint in his usually kind eyes.

"Are you serious?" You ask.

"I make jokes less frequently than you do" he says, hands waiting on the hem of the velvety skirt you are wearing. This was his way of asking for permission. For whatever he has set up, till now and whatever he's about to do. You gulp, intimidated and excited at the same time. If you were to voice refusal, Megumi would stop instantly.

"Fine then. Nobara it is. Not like I'll use it ever." You say, sticking out your tongue to him.

With that greenlight, Megumi wastes no time stripping you off your pencil skirt and halter neck top as you squirm with your arms behind you, getting eager by the second.

"Wow, look at you." he says, grabbing you by the jaw. "Humiliation doesn't affect you at all."

"It's because it's my Megumi." you grin at him. "Kiss me." you pout, trying to hoist yourself up despite your restraint but Megumi backs up swiftly.

"Nuh-uh." he smirks. "You won't get to lay a finger on me today."

"What?" you gasp and plop back down. "That's not fair. I want to suck on your lips right now!"

"Sounds like your problem." he says, cocking his head to side, removing your lacy panties out of the way - a practice of several years. Right when he's about to go down on you though, his phone buzzes with life.

Megumi looks over his shoulder to check as you protest when he proceeds to pick it up. He holds it between his ear and left shoulder, continuing to descend on you.

"Yeah, Itadori, what's up?" he says, licking a stripe up one of your nether lips. Your body freezes at that. You can faintly hear Yuuji's voice on the other end since he's so LOUD.

"Hey bud. I just wanted to check if you and Y/n are okay. Y'all left so suddenly. I'm really sorry about what happened, I told Panda senpai off after that and Maki senpai contributed a few punches."

"Hey, you're worrying too much." Megumi says, grabbing your hips and placing a kiss on your swollen clit earn a moan from you.

"Huh? What was that?" Yuuji asks on the other end, and you shake your head furiously at Megumi.

"Hmm... nothing. You're hallucinating." Megumi says, sucking on the nub, making your wrap your thighs against his head.

"If you're having a popsicle or something I'll call later yo. Eat in peace." Yuuji says, innocently, cutting the phone as you sigh in relief.

"Ah what a killjoy." Megumi curses, kissing your inner thighs.

"What are you relieved about?" he asks before plunging tongue-first into the depths of your pussy and staying there to explore the walls with his muscle. The inability to use your hands to grab on to something, his hair, the sheets, anything was really messing with you. You just smothered him with thighs to maintain your grip on reality. Your hips raised up and away from him when he found a particularly sensitive spot inside you. He placed a hand on your belly to keep you from moving. "Where are you running away, baby?"

"M-m-megumi. I am so close." you stammer as he continues his assault on your womanhood. "- so, so, so close. GOD." you gasp.

At that moment, Megumi removes his mouth from your vagina, making your eyes go wide in horror and anger.

"What? H-hey, get back on there. What are you doing?" you say, struggling against the sheets.

"Y/N. I'll do things my way, okay." Megumi smiles at you. "And shut up for a bit." he says, stuffing the panties he discarded earlier into your mouth. Your head spun from your own potent scent. You don't know how he dealt with it.

You watched him silently as he wasted time kissing your thighs and pussy lips again. He knew exactly what he was doing. This was no less than a declaration of war.

You still had reign over your lower body so you thrust your hips up and onto his mouth, surprising him. This time, he continued what he was doing, but it was a restart for you anyway.

More suckling. More tongue dives. More muffled moaning later, another orgasm blooms inside you and your eyes roll back. But Megumi let's go moments before you're about to climax.

"Mmmm!" you whimper, unable to say anything. Your eyes well up with tears. Megumi spots this and removes the fabric from your mouth. He leans in a bit too close to your face and coos at you. "Why is my bratty baby crying?" his brows go up in sympathy. "You feeling overwhelmed?"

At this point, you pool all of your strength to raise yourself up and chase his lips and he backs away again.

"Hmm.. no."

Now you practically have a river flowing down your cheeks. Your pussy hurts from almost hitting peak twice or thrice. It sucks. Megumi sucks. Yet, yet... you were somehow still turned on.

"Megumi." you say seriously. "You know I haven't thought about anyone except you for a decade right?"

"I rejected Yuuji four times because I was so in love with you back in school. Do you not remember? And Yuuji still had it better than me, because you rejected me a dozen times throughout school, you ass!" you remind him. It was true. You fell first. But he seemed to have fallen harder over the years. He had given you one chance on graduation day and you had completely capitalized on it.

"It had always been you Megumi. My first one and my only one." you say, now crying for real.

"Shh.." Megumi whispers, placing a kiss on the corner of your mouth.

"Y/N." He kisses your forehead and nose next. "You really know how to turn the situation your way, you smartass." he says, snaking a hand under your body to grope your ass. His hands brush against your tied up ones.

He makes you sit up and unties you, checking to make sure there aren't any marks. Fortunately, there aren't. The first thing you do is swing your arms around his neck and climb into his lap. "Never stop me from touching you again." you mumble into the crook of his neck.

You feel something sticking out and poking at your thigh and you find Megumi's angry cock dying to grab your attention. Megumi gulps as you eye his member curiously.

"Megumi." you start. "Should I do to you what you did to me?"

"Nobara." he says.

"HUH?" you raise your voice, unable to understand why he suddenly took her name until you remember it's your safe word.

"What? You want to stop?" you ask him genuinely.

"No, I don't. But if you deny me my orgasm. It might be too much for me to handle." he admits embarrassingly, pursing his lips.

"Megumi, you are too cruel." you say, hoisting yourself up and impaling yourself on his hard on. You appreciate how it fills you up completely. "I am not letting you get away." you add, starting to bounce up and down on his cock, angling yourself so it hits your good spots. You also make your chest is suffocating Megumi at all times as you let a symphony of moans and whines flow out of you.

You hold on to his muscular shoulders for dear life as your nth orgasm of the day creeps up onto you. This time you don't tell him you are coming and let yourself get undone on his cock, grabbing fistfuls of his hair.

"Oh my goodness." you cry out, leaning away from him. You look at his face and realize by his fucked up expression that he probably came alongside you. This gives you a brilliant idea as you quickly recover from your climax.

You don't stop moving around his cock. You keep up at it like you never came and Megumi starts to scratch at your back, clearly overstimulated but not saying anything. You proceed to then crash your lips against his, twisting his nipple in your fingers as he whimpers. Eventually, it becomes too much for him to bear.

He separates from you, drooling. "Y/n. W-wait. It's too much!"

"It's not." you say teasingly. "Just once more." You keep up your pace, making him thrust in and out of you. Before you can best him though, he recovers too.

He grabs your waist and changes positions, pushing you into the mattress and into a mating press, thrusting into you like a monster.

"M-m-megu-" you are unable to speak from how hard you are being moved. You come again. and again. and again. and Megumi keeps going. Like a crazed animal.

"Stop I'll die now!" you scream, your knees bumping against your chin from the position.

This is when Megumi finally releases for the second time, and collapses on you.

"Payback, for all those times I didn't let you -"

"Megumi, you're really - " you manage to whisper as you feel your eyes starting to shut.

The both of you doze off just like that, entangled and dirty with juice.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅

(okay boys, thanks for reading! LET ME KNOW HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS. I do have an idea for part 2 of this where Megumi feels gulity about how he behaved and tries to make it up to the reader. it'll be fluffy and romantic. I'll write it if this gets enough hits and enough people want a part 2. PEACE :) )

[the-leviathan-inside-my-mind]

A Theory on Mrs. Flood and Susan Twist

Spoilers for Season 14 ahead!

1. Susan Twist is the One Who Waits

For those who don't know, Susan Twist is an actress who has been playing multiple background characters for this season. Since The Church on Ruby Road, she has played a background character with a speaking role for each episode.

At first, this may seem like an easter egg included by Russel T Davies. However, in 73 Yards, when Susan Twist plays the old hiking lady, Ruby points out that she recognizes her.

What if this reappearing background character played by Susan Twist is actually the One Who Waits? Quite literally, they are waiting in the background of the episodes, biding their time before they finally make a full appearance.

Additionally, there is an extra bit of evidence that may at first seem too meta of a conclusion. However, with the way the show has veen exploring more meta concepts (the Maestro playing the theme song in Devil's Chord, and the theme song not showing up after The Doctor disappears in 73 yards), this might not be such a leap after all. As we know, the actress's name is Susan Twist. And what does The Doctor say at the end of The Devil's Chord, which itself becomes a full length song? He says "There's always a Twist at the end".

(Bonus I found while writing this theory: In the behind the scenes video for The Devil's Chord, Murray Gold mentions that "The song was always called There's always a twist at the end".

The fact that the song was always called this means that the title may be more important than just an artistic choice)

2. Mrs. Flood is the Oldest One.

In the Devil's Chord, the Maestro mentions the Oldest One, who was there on the day of Ruby's birth. At first, I believed that the Oldest One and The One Who Waits were the same. However, this wouldn't explain Mrs. Flood.

Mrs. Flood is certainly not a normal old woman. She is one of the only characters with the ability to break the fourth wall, and demonstrates knowledge of The Tardis, in a scene which suspiciously happens in the middle of the end credits, almost breaking the reality of the show.

I have heard the theory that she could be Older Ruby, yet we have seen old Ruby in 73 yards. Additionally, breaking the fourth wall is a reality warping power. It's a power we have only seen used by the Maestro, and The Doctor right before the Twist musical number (where reality breaks due to the remnants of Maestro's power lingering after their banishment)

Could it be that she is also a member of the Pantheon? If so, I believe that they are the Oldest One. The only major argument against this theory is that the Oldest One is stated to be a He, and Mrs. Flood is referred to as She, but Mrs. Flood can merely be another form or disguise for the Oldest One.

Ultimately, I believe it would be interesting if these two suspicious old ladies are the very extra-dimensional beings that we are warned about.

Thank you for listening to my wild theories! Reblog and comment your ideas, I'd love to know what you guys think about this. I hope you also see my next theory, which is coming out soon, on the identity of The Oldest One. See ya!

[badaziraphaletakes]

I've found my least favorite take of all time

I've been saving this gif for the Worst Take, the Perfect Bad Take to End All Bad Takes, and I've finally found the one.

I have literally lost track of the times Aziraphale defied all the forces of heaven (and often hell too) for Crowley's sake. (Such as, for example, at "the end of Season 1". Y'know? When he literally faced down Gabriel, Beelzebub, and THE FREAKING DEVIL with him?! Or when he confronted the Literal Voice of God to try to save the world so they could continue to live on it together?)

The only reason he only meets with Crowley when "the situation clashes in just the right way to push them together" is because that's the only time it's safe for them (especially Crowley)!

They have been choosing to stay apart BECAUSE they love each other!

And by the way, that "Crowley needed to know"? That last scene in S2 wasn't Crowley testing him. Crowley didn't put them in that situation. It was the Metatron ripping them apart.

Crowley didn't want to force Aziraphale into some kind of excruciating dilemma. He just wants the two of them to get to be happy together. Just like Aziraphale does.