#he was like weirdly hairless

[elmatadordeguillermos]

you are so very very dear to me.

[garbagewith-a-cherryontop]

Do gothamites know about the Waynes’ weird cat? Like I feel like with the fact that people go to their house for Gala’s there’s a big chance of at the very least rich socialites running into Snitches. Idk how you picture Danny but I can imagine him just pranking random rich people at a Gala held at Wayne manor.

Like at first the Waynes try to keep him in a certain part of the house but they look away for a literal second and he’s just, gone. Meanwhile elsewhere in the manor some poor unfortunate, unprepared soul is having an Encounter with a capital E while looking for the bathroom.

'News About The Waynes' New Demon Cat' has definitely showed up in the headlines more than once, what with Steph regularly terrorizing the local Cat Lovers Community. Those that arn't busy questioning Vicki Vales' sanity either think it's all a very alaborate (and weirdly specific joke), or they full heartedly belive it. Gotham's already weird, a demon cat or two is to be excepted at this point.

Pets arn't allowed at Galas, so very few people have actually seen Snitches in person. Though not for a lack of trying on Dannys' part.

The first ever Gala hosted with Snitches in the manor ended with at least half the guests needing therapy. And Bruce had to bribe the press into blaming it all on fear toxin. (Scarecrow was very confused by the sudden spike in notoriety but he wasn't complaining.) Now there is at least one person keeping an eye on Snitches at all times whenever there's a sosial gathering. Not that it helps. All you have to do is blink and the damn thing vanishes.

Witnessing a Wayne jogging out of the room, holding a partly hairless cat, is almost expected at this point.

Whoever Danny decides to terrorize is mostly random. Tripping people, walking through solid objects with only one witness, eating off of plates while invisible. Anything that will make them look suspiciously at their drinks and than discreetly pour the rest out into a vase or potted plant.

Old creeps on the other hand... as well as young creeps, nosy reporters, assholes, or just anyone who acts/looks a bit too much like Vlad don't leave the Gala unscathed. Bit in the ankle, clawed in the face, tumbled down the stairs, saw something unspeakable in the bathroom that wasn't just their own bland reflection, the list goes on.

People don't go looking for the bathrooms anymore. And on more than one occasion has someone brought a priest as their plus one. Some have even tried handing Bruce the business cards/phone numbers of exorcists or others within the occult who can help. In fact, Steph has started collecting them! It's Snitches victory wall! :D

[liiixsturniolos]

♱ chris sturniolo (nsfw) alphabet ♱

not requested*

(smut warning!, letters of the alphabet as headcannons chris would do)

A ... (how he is after sex?)

Aftercare. Chris loves it weirdly enough. He will of course clean you up gently. He'll stroke your hair, hold you in his arms, and rub your shoulder. Often he'll make you food after.

B ... (fav body part?)

Body part. Chris' favourite body part of yours, quite obviously your ass. He's a big PDA guy. He'll grab it as you walk, slap it when you walk up stairs, stare at it when you turn around, He's pervy with it but it's funny.

C ... (cum)

Cum. This man is a lil freaky with it. He'll come on your tits when you let him, your stomach, mouth. He lowk has a slight breeding kink/cream pie thing.

D ... (Dirty secrets?)

Dirty secret. This man has loadsss of nasty thoughts and shit he'd love to do. He's a little perverted ngl. I'm sure you can imagine.

E ... (experience?)

Experience. Chris really isn't too experienced, he's only had sex with about 4 women before you. He will of course act like he's fucked hundreds, but he hasn't, and you could sort of tell.. you had to teach him how to slow down.

F ... (fav position?)

Favourite position. This man wants you in missionary. Let's be real. He wants to see your face. But he's definitely open to any other positions. He'll try anything you ask for.

G ... (How good is he?)

Good. This man is reallll goooood. He will try almost* anything too.

H ... (hair....?)

He's clean, not fully hairless but trimmed LMFAO. In regards to you, he doesn't mind. However you're happy with it, he's happy too.

I ... (intimacy?)

He's sweet. Although he's a rough guy sometimes he can switch it up too. He holds your hand through it when he can, likes to watch your face and kiss you too.

J ... (Jacking off?)

Surprisingly, not as often as you expected. And almost always to pictures of you, especially before you guys started dating the guy would stroke his shit to every one of your tiktoks or insta posts.

K ... (what are his kinks?)

Kinks. He has a little breeding thing, wants to get you pregnant BAD. And maybe a little degradation but never too mean, he could never be mean to you.

L ... ( favourite place to do it?)

Location. He's a fan of public sex, but that's often hard to get away with. So he'll opt to tease you under a table with his fingers scoping out your inner thigh. He likes table tops, and bathroom counters to pin you against.

M ... (what gets him going?)

Motivation. Seeing you in slutty outfits. Fucking loves you in a skims dress where he can see your shape, loves you in lacy underwear.

N ... (what he wouldn't do.)

No. Anal stuff is definitely off limits. Him, you, he doesn't care nobody's goin' near his asshole and he ain't gonna go near yours. He's not into anything too rough either, like knife play and blood, he cares about you alot, it's not just lust. He wants to make sure you're always safe.

O ... (oral?)

Oral. He will 100% eat you out with delight. for example, my blurb HERE ... You'll return the favour every now and again.

P ... ( what pace will he go at?)

Pace. He can be fast, but you've taught him how to wait a little, and how to be slower. He will switch between his paces. Depends on how you both feel.

Q ... (opinions on quickies?)

He likes 'em. But sometimes not, he likes to take his time with you. He actually likes the whole foreplay stuff, he likes making out and running his hands through your hair, or kissing your neck.

R ... (risky?)

He is down to take risks with semi-public sex. He loves fucking you on the couch and just hoping his brothers don't come in.

S ... (how long can he go for?)

Stamina. He will go for as long as you like. As long as your up for it, he'll go twenty more times.

T ... (is he into toys?)

Toys. Yeah, sure. On you though. He'd happily mess around with a vibrator on you. He'd definitely be a bitch with it though, teasing you and edging you until you beg him to stop, pleading to let you shut your legs as he holds it there longer.

U ... (is he unfair?)

Unfair. Is he Unfair with you? Tease you? He's never selfish, but will tease you a little on occasion, especially if you've been bratty and bitchy that day, he wants a sliver of revenge but eventually he has to give in to your moans and begs to let you come.

V ... (how loud is he?)

Volume. He is LOUDDD, you will litterly have to put your hand over his mouth sometimes. This man is grunting and whining like there's no tommorow.

W ... (what are his insane fantasies?)

Wild cards. He secretly wants you to suck him off as he drives. It's a dirty and illegal thought. You would do it though. HERE is an idea of what it'd be like...

X ... (what's he got?)

X- Ray. He's big. He cocky about it too.

Y ... (how highs his sex drive?)

Yearning. He's pretty horny, pretty often. Works out well for the both of you..

Z ... (bitch I have nothing..)

Hope you liked this thanks for reading!

okay see you later bitches. I hope you liked this, if you did please interact so I keep writing! thank you! ꨄ︎

taglist babiesss! : @matthewsroses @pvssychicken @chrislilcumslvt @ivysturnss @mattsbitchh @sturniolo-fann @matts-myloverboy @emely9274 @sophand4n4 @uncannyguava @chrisfavoritewhore @certifiedstarrr

[ilikestuff69]

Dune Part 2 Spoilers(?)

Ok, but why does Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen have a weirdly high amount of sexual tension with every single character he interacts with tho?

Also Austin Butler’s face is wild. Because in the movie he is hairless. No hair, no eyebrows, nothing. He’s either shot in black and white or he is deathly pale when in color. When he talks, he sounds like he’s dying from lung cancer and still smoking two packs a day. He looks like he’s ready to murder or fuck (or both) anyone he’s talking to at any given moment.

And yet he still looks good. It’s ridiculous.

[johnbrand]

A Promise

Brady had been unenthusiastic about going to the gym. Actually, “unenthusiastic” may have been a light way to put it. Although he should have had the typical confidence of a college senior, his low self-esteem and horrible body image rendered him unable to socialize with others. Brady had made a promise to himself that visiting the gym would solve his problems. He hoped working out would at least combat his issues with body image, and then eventually friends would begin to magically come to him.

But now, standing in the massive gym, Brady could not help but let his eyes widen as he scanned the room of all the machines. Why were there so many–did humans truly have so many body parts to further develop? It was insane, overwhelming in a way that Brady was beginning to feel suffocated.

“Previewing all the options?” a male voice caught Brady by alarm.

“Uhh…” he swung around to greet the mystery person, immediately having to trace his eyes up along the rippled chest before him. Thanks to his smaller, hairless body, Brady appeared like a boy next to this man. “Yeah,” Brady stupidly replied, holding back a blush. He had not meant to lie, but the handsome jock twice his size caught him completely off guard.

Unfazed, the muscular jock stuck out a hand with a pleasant smile, “Michael.”

“Brady.”

“The gym truly has everything a bro needs. It’s so great that the college focuses on funding areas for the majority of students, unlike other schools,” Michael remarked. Obviously there was a backhanded comment in that remark, but Brady was a little too infatuated to notice.

“It is impressive,” Brady agreed. “There’s just so much to work with, I don’t know where to begin.”

Michael chuckled, jabbing a bit at the shorter male. “What? A guy like you! By the looks of it I’d bet you follow a pretty rigid routine.”

“Huh?” Brady peered down at his baggy sweatshirt and sweats, confused.

“Don’t think your pump cover can fool me,” Michael poked. “A bro like you should only wear tight, revealing stuff anyway.”

Brady suddenly felt extremely self-conscious. There were too many places his extra weight hung off him weirdly. “Uhhh…I…I don’t really-”

“What's the point of working out if you don’t show it off.” 

Brady had an argument, but it suddenly left him, replaced by: “I mean…I don’t want to seem rude.” Subconsciously, he rubbed the back of his head, flexing his huge bicep almost on reflex. Brady did not realize just how much his veins were bulging out, squeezed by the tight black tee. 

Michael laughed. “Bro who cares, you’re an alpha male! Take up some space–it’s your right after all.” 

Brady thought back to how people had treated him all throughout life. People did look up to him, followed him around like helpless puppies. He had received high grades without even putting in the work, gotten one-night stands with pretty boys by a simple wink. Being ripped had its privileges.

“C’mon, stand a little taller bro. Put some hair on that chest.” Michael gave him a rough, playful pat on the back. Brady straightened back out after a moment, standing eye-to-eye with the other attractive jock. “There ya go, men like us are born superior. I bet you could even crush skulls between those thighs.

“I’ve cracked open a few watermelons in my day,” Brady showcased the glorious muscles underneath his short shorts. He could not help but take a moment to admire his legs, carved beautifully all the way down to his great stompers. It made Brady feel really good; he did deserve to enjoy his muscular body and display it for all to see.

“You got a girl yet?” Michael suddenly asked, pulling Brady back in.

“Uhhhh…” a flash of concern paused Brady. 

“You gotta be kidding!” Michael announced with an exaggerated amount of shock. “Who’s gonna keep you in check, bro? You probably work up a sweat beating all those fags back into place, so how else are you gonna relieve that pent-up energy if you aren’t smashing any pussy?”

The statement was a lot. Brady did not have a response immediately, but eventually his face softened, releasing a dumb guffaw. “Yeah bro, you’re probably right. It’s hard being the top dog all the time without getting any thanks.”

Michael smirked, “Course it is! Tell you what, flex those pumps for me and I’ll send them to a few of the chicks I know. I promise you’ll get some action by the end of the day.”

“Really?” Brady could not believe this steal rubbing happily at his beard. “Thanks bro!” Eagerly, he pulled up the lower half of his shirt and pumped his massive arms into the air.

“Oof, I guess you really do work up a sweat. Those pits are ripe, man!” Michael applauded. “Now, let’s get you laid!”

[fear-is-truth]

I love your profile so much that I feel like this is a safe place to even ask something so weird, I was just thinking and said 'imagine if Kai dyed his bush blue too', so I'd like to know which of Evan's characters do you think cares about looking presentable down there, or who is just hairy and natural (I'M SORRY FOR THIS LOL)

⋆𐙚 ₊ the evans… & manscaping .ᐟ

ft. tate langdon ‧ kit walker ‧ kyle spencer ‧ james march ‧ kai anderson ‧ austin sommers ‧ peter maximoff ‧ colin zabel

a/n: rahhh ily no need to apologise lol

⟢ 𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐃𝐎𝐍.

tate wouldn’t give a damn about grooming, honestly. he has enough issues on his plate so he’s not the type to care about looking “presentable” down there. he died young and hot, so the hair situation stayed in whatever state it was in when he got gunned down—no need for upkeep. carpet matches the drapes; no ridiculous bush, (if you remember him in that latex suit) but it’s probably not perfectly groomed either.

⟢ 𝐊𝐈𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐄𝐑.

he’s someone who would keep things pretty clean but in a low-maintenance way. maybe a little grooming here and there but nothing overly pristine. he’s not obsessive, but he’s conscious enough to maintain some level of neatness, especially for his partner’s comfort. overall practical and clean.

⟢ 𝐊𝐘𝐋𝐄 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑.

kyle is more into cleanliness and hygiene than tate, he might trim but not go all-out with shaving or waxing. no overly excessive effort in terms of presentation, but he’s not going for the wild “savage” look either. kyle strikes me as a naturally more “neat” person without being obsessive.

⟢ 𝐉𝐈𝐌𝐌𝐘 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆.

doesn’t care too much about looking pristine down there. he’s got more of a natural, “i’m who i am” attitude when it comes to grooming. it’s probably a bit wild down there, but not in an unkempt, dirty way—but he’d clean up if it was necessary.

⟢ 𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇.

i guess he’d have a more natural, untamed look down there. a black curly bush. he’s not someone who would obsess over body hair, especially since it wasn’t really the norm back then for men to be overly groomed in such a manner. james would put all that energy into trimming that moustache lol.

⟢ 𝐊𝐀𝐈 𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍.

having rewatched cult so many times, my friends and i have concluded that kai looked “weirdly hairless” even in the scenes when he’s shirtless. besides he’s not the type to indulge in excessive grooming rituals, so it’s unlikely he’d have much body hair in general. and he’s too serious to actually dye his pubes </3

⟢ 𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐒.

a little more on top of his grooming, suits his high-maintenance, perfectionist tendencies. i imagine he’d keep it neat and trimmed, maybe even waxing to achieve a sleek look.

⟢ 𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐀𝐗𝐈𝐌𝐎𝐅𝐅.

i think he’s too carefree to obsess over grooming too much. if anything, he’d probably be the type to have it as natural as possible. like, he’s too busy zipping around, having fun to worry about keeping everything trim. but i also think peter would be the type to do something completely random and out-of-character, like fully trimming for the first time and then being like “uh, i don’t know why i did that.” ultimately, he’s chill with whatever.

⟢ 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐍 𝐙𝐀𝐁𝐄𝐋.

i could see him being similar to kit in terms of grooming. he’s probably not going out of his way to make sure everything is super sleek or perfectly maintained, but he doesn’t let it get out of hand either. it’s probably an occasional trim, but nothing overly meticulous.

[ronearoundblindly]

Hi Lexi, I have an ask 😏

I keep seeing these pranks girlfriends are doing on their boyfriends on TikTok where the girl is talking to her man about her waxing appointment she just had and she casually says 'HE was great' or 'HE did a great job’

How do you think the Chris characters would react? 😂😂

Warnings for Lexi getting on her professional high horse and inferences to, well, the areas that get waxed.

Hi. I'm Lexi, and this is my job. I wax people for a living and am about to get extremely serious for a moment before our fun imagines...

IF the person is professional, there is zero reason a male or female waxologist should matter. Of course, it is important for the client themselves to be most comfortable, but men and women can be equally good at this job and equally shit at it. I say this knowing that I went to school with a handful of women that did not care about the comfort or safety of their clients, only money and time. I'd say it was as bad as 50/50. The sex or sexual orientation of your professional doesn't actually matter, and I find it childish that any man would get huffy or jealous as long as the service is done professionally and well for the actual client. I would personally punch any man (yes, even those with faces as pretty as above) for being a sexist, assuming dickhead in this manner.

James Mace

Curious. Sorta wants to come with you to your next appointment and ask how a man gets into that line of work, since it is more rare. Mace would also be curious if you were shocked at first that a man would wax you. Did you feel uncomfortable at first? Has more than one man waxed you? Is this...is this a thing he can learn to help with? He's simply never thought about it before.

Curtis Everett

Weirdly 'classic man' about it and thinks it's bizarre a man waxes people. He just thinks that sounds like a woman's profession and a woman's service. Cringes and hisses at the mere thought of hair being ripped from his own body, so Curtis cannot fathom why anyone does it, man or woman.

Jimmy Dobyne

Doesn't give a rat's ass if there's hair down there, so mostly he's just indifferent to the whole situation. If you start talking about 'how cute' your waxer is, however, that's another story. Would probably assume the man is gay, too, and would express shock if you said otherwise. To Jimmy though, a job is a job. Whatever.

Johnny Storm

Simultaneously doesn't care and is fascinated. He's a try-anything-once person, so Johnny kinda wants to know what that feels like AND will be an enormous baby about the pain of waxing. He would be equally fascinated if the professional were female or male to be honest, though he'd be slightly more goofy and flirtatious with a woman. Johnny--as you may guess--would love to make you jealous so that he can 'prove himself' to you over and over again; he isn't a jealous type on his own.

Jake Jensen

Dead silence. Doesn't mention a fucking thing about how he feels but internally screaming. Deeply angry that not only did a man see you that way but also that a man is doing something 'painful' to you and that Jake didn't know before. Does a background check on your professional without ever saying a word to you. Only brings it up if there's something suspicious in the man's record. Refuses to be 'that guy' and voice his discomfort. Hopes you both never speak of it again...or the man retires soon and you see a woman.

Lloyd Hansen

Can you guess? I feel by now you can guess what I'm going to say.

Lloyd (that's right) doesn't. give. a. fuck.

Good. Get waxed. There is no need to talk about it. He just cares that it's done, not about any of the specifics.

Ari Levinson

Horrified that anyone waxes anything. Vaguely interested that a man offers it. Asks you what he looks like--i.e. does a man with a lot of hair (like Ari) wax other people or is he rather hairless himself? Ari shivers while considering it and promptly forgets all about it.

Ransom Drysdale

Did the job get done? Fine. Is the guy your only option for someone to wax you? No. Will Ran call your salon and insist you never be booked with the guy (or any guy) again? Yes. Yes he will.

Does Ran tell you he did that? No. Does he care if you know? Also no, but he ain't fucking discussing it. End of story.

Andy Barber

Literally has twelve other things to talk about with you so he doesn't care at all. Would forever prefer enjoying the results then getting hung up on the methods...

Steve Rogers

Has NO IDEA how to respond to that. Has NO IDEA if he should care or be mad or be interested or offer any words whatsoever. Is SO AWKWARD when moving on to another topic of discussion.

Bucky Barnes

Grumpy. First suggests and then insists that he do it for you/help. Verbally observes that it would save money and time to simply do it at home; emotionally unhinged at the wave of possessive rage he feels in the moment. He isn't proud of the response, but he also isn't letting that continue. Full-stop.

Thank you for asking!

[Main Masterlist; Who Would...Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

@supraveng @1950schick @patzammit @whiskeytangofoxtrot555

@yiiiikesmish @ashesofblackroses @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory

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@rogersbarber @blogbog710 @yenzys-lucky-charm

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Dancing 'til the break of dawn - Pt1

(TWST zombie apocalypse au for all your crack-fic needs)

Yuu would like to make one thing very clear: he did not start the zombie apocalypse on purpose.

In fact, he would like to argue that it – probably – would have started even without his help! Yeah, so he might have accidentally fed and housed a zombie cat because he had mistaken it for a very unfortunate stray on its last legs, and the zombie cat had bitten his parents, turning them into zombies, which kickstarted the apocalypse… but how did that zombie cat come to be? Hm? Hm?

The apocalypse was inevitable! He swears!

But, uh… he would admit that maybe taking in Grim was not the brightest decision he had ever made.

Or maybe it was an amazing plan. He hadn’t yet been attacked by a zombie. He was pretty sure that the zombies were a hivemind of sorts, and since he was nice to Grim they were all cool with him… or something. Maybe he was just uniquely disgusting to the point where no one wanted to eat him. Which was a weirdly insulting thought to have, so he preferred to believe that Grim was doing him a heck of a solid.

Which had its own problems. Had he accidentally sacrificed the entire human race for the sake of saving his own skin? Because that would be, at least, the tiniest, littlest bit messed up, he thought.

He rubbed his weird zombie cat’s head. Grim was a strange looking thing, with green skin and a face that was visibly on the verge of rotting. However, Grim was still a cat, Yuu was pretty sure, and therefore he deserved all of the love. He opened his arms, smiling when Grim readily hopped into them for the sake of pets. The texture was close to that of a hairless cat, save for a tiny patch of moss on the end of its tail, which looked soft, but Yuu had no intentions of touching it. Not right now, at least. Maybe if this zombie apocalypse survival stuff got too hard he would give in to temptation despite the very high likelihood that it could end in him getting infected.

Maybe tomorrow would be the day, he mused absently. After all, he was running low on supplies. He’d need to leave the safety of this random apartment and find a convenience store or something of that nature sometime soon, otherwise he’d starve to death.

But he didn’t wanna. Do you know how hard it is to find a store that hasn’t already been ransacked? Would you want to have to evade groups of humans who had taken to cannibalism way too quickly? Do you think it’s easy to explain to people that, actually, the zombie cat isn’t parasitic and lying in wait until it can kill you? How good would you be at ignoring the screams of people being eaten by zombies? Like, really, his life was so awful. You would think it was karma or something! He would like to reiterate that he does not deserve this! The zombie apocalypse was not his fault!

He groaned and flopped down in bed with Grim, burying his face in a pillow. It smelled off, slightly dingy, but he wasn’t going to complain. It wasn’t like the old owner had known they were going to have the most uninvited of guests. And he couldn’t file a complaint, anyways, because chances were they were dead already.

He huffed and pressed a kiss to the top of Grim's head.

"Make sure to get a good night's sleep, we have a big day ahead of us tomorrow," he mumbled. He wished he could say it was more to himself than anything, since he was aware that it was very weird to talk to a cat (a zombie version of a cat, no less), but... no. He was talking to Grim.

And Grim, to his credit, purred like he understood and settled down to sleep.

Yuu continued to stay awake for only a few moments more, his eyes remained trained on the ceiling as he pieced through his plan for the next day.

He ended up drifting off out of pure boredom before he had even finished planning his route.

It wouldn't matter anyways, though, surely tomorrow would be just another day.

~

Yuu sighed lightly as he trudged down the street. Zombies were avoiding him, as usual. He liked not being eaten, so this was nice.

The summer heat was not nice, though. He glowered at the orange skies above him as if he could will the sun to leave him alone already. It did not listen to him, which was disappointing, but he would live.

Probably. Hopefully.

He’d have an easier time living if Grim didn’t insist on being carried everywhere like the diva he was, because Yuu had seen him walk a few times, the lying prick, but fine. Whatever. It wasn’t like the ability to use his hands was necessary during an apocalyptic scenario or anything.

He was left to grumble incoherently as he continued on his search for a store that was still stocked enough to bother breaking into.

He found one… far sooner than he’d thought he would.

Suspiciously fast, actually.

He looked at Grim.

“What do you think, buddy?”

Grim blinked his one eye at him lazily.

This was practically a glowing endorsement! No zombies inside!

He deserves this, really.

He looked around for something to break the glass. It wasn’t difficult. He set down Grim despite the cat’s whining so he could pick up an abandoned brick. There was a dark red stain on the corner of it.

Ewwwwwwww. It was sticky.

He threw the brick at the glass door to the convenience store with probably a little bit more force than was entirely necessary. But, in his defense, it was gross to touch.

It wasn’t even worth it in the end! Because, the second he stepped towards the door, winding the cloth of his shirt around his hand so he could widen the hole enough for him to step through without injuring himself, the automatic glass doors slid open.

Yuu blushed. “Good thing no one saw that, right?” he said to Grim.

Grim, who he was beginning to suspect might actually know what he was saying, gave him what one could only describe as a raised eyebrow. Considering the cat only had half a face, making this expression was actually quite the feat. Yuu wasn’t sure how he felt about the effort the zombie put into making sure that he could accurately interpret how unimpressed he was.

He sighed, picked up the zombie again, and stepped inside.

The place looked like… well, just about any place in the apocalypse. Blood stained just about everything, rendering the food labels largely unreadable. The emergency lights still worked, but only barely, flickering more than the lights in a B-list horror movie. What had almost definitely once been a person was slumped in a corner, though it was almost unidentifiable now, its clothes missing and its guts torn out.

Yuu set down Grim so the zombie could go and have a snack.

Grim didn’t leave his side, instead he stayed close to his heels.

This, really, should have tipped him off that something was wrong. Grim never turned down the opportunity to eat.

Yuu, though, was too busy rubbing his thumb on a canned food label, trying to figure out what aisle he was currently in, to notice.

No, it wasn’t until Grim started growling lowly that he looked up.

A boy with a shock of messy red hair and clothes that were painted with way too much blood for it to only have been his own had been trying to sneak up on him. He had a knife out, and Yuu didn’t think that there was anything that needed cutting anywhere nearby.

Yuu shrieked and threw the can of beans at him. The redhead stumbled backwards, cradling his head, mumbling curses under his breath.

And then his expression twisted into a scowl. His grip tightened on his knife.

He took a step forward.

Grim hissed, baring fangs.

The redhead only spared a halfhearted glance down at the cat before turning his attention back to Yuu, who was scrambling for another can to throw.

And then the redhead did a double take.

He screamed and backed up a few steps, only barely stopping himself from dropping his knife in his surprise. “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR CAT?!”

Yuu hesitated for just a moment too long. “Uhhhhh nothing is wrong with him.”

“THEY'RE GREEN?!”

“And you’re white but I wasn’t going to say anything about that,” Yuu sniffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

The boy spluttered. “First of all. I’m Japanese. Everyone here is Japanese. We’re in fucking Japan. Second. Of. All. Humans can be white! Cats can’t be green!”

“Explain Grim then,” Yuu argued.

There was no response. The boy was too stunned to speak. Because he had realized that Yuu’s logic checked out perfectly, no doubt.

Slowly, the redhead ran a hand through his hair. He pulled on a few strands, hard, seemingly trying to make sure he wasn’t asleep, or in some weird fever dream, or that he hadn’t been bitten and was now going insane… he didn’t seem to be all that glad to realize that everything in front of him was actually very real.

He sunk a little in defeat, leaning against a nearby shelf and eyeing Yuu warily, but at least he was no longer openly hostile. “What is wrong with you?” he asked, somewhere between exasperated and genuinely curious.

Yuu frowned. He was not sure he liked this line of conversation more than discussing Grim. Grim was green, after all! Out of the two, surely Grim should be getting all of the attention.

But he was pretty sure that saying that out loud might be considered ‘hypocrisy’, and despite the fact that this guy had definitely tried to kill him, he didn’t want to seem like a hypocrite in front of him!

Wait a second.

“I’m the weird one?! You were trying to kill me!”

Grim didn’t look particularly happy upon being reminded of this fact.

The boy didn’t seem happy that Grim wasn’t happy, because he immediately paled and rushed to say that, “No, I wasn’t!”

Yuu looked at the knife in his hand.

He cleared his throat and dropped it. He tried for an innocent smile, as if that would somehow make Yuu forget what he had literally just watched happen. “You know, I think we got off on the wrong foot.”

“Because you tried to stab me,” Yuu said flatly.

He stuck his hand out. “C’monnnn, what’s a little stabbing between new friends?”

Now, Yuu should absolutely not take that hand. Someone that had almost stabbed him once would almost certainly attempt another stabbing in the future.

But he had started talking to a cat, as of late. A zombie cat that you could argue (to much success) that he had made the much worse decision to befriend in the first place. And that had turned out fine. For him, at least.

So, he jumped at the opportunity for a new friend. He grabbed his hand in both of his own, shaking it with what was almost definitely way too much enthusiasm.

“I’m Yuu.”

“Ace…” the redhead said. He tried to pull his hand away, but Yuu was half convinced that he would turn tail and run if he did that, so he held strong. Ace looked mildly bewildered by the entire situation. He looked at the zombie cat at Yuu’s feet for a few moments. The cat did not seem all that pleased by this newfound friendship – the way he eyed the pair’s interlocked hands spoke volumes. “I don’t think that they like me.”

“He doesn’t like anyone,” Yuu said, shrugging.

Ace hesitated, briefly. His eyes flicked over Grim a few more times.

Realization sparkled in his eyes as he realized what, exactly, Grim was.

He looked at Yuu again, something appraising in his gaze. Something wary.

Without looking away from Yuu, he reached his free hand into his pocket. He pulled out a scrap of mystery meat and dropped it on the floor for Grim.

Grim sniffed it, once, before eating it.

Ace breathed a sigh of relief when the cat gave him what was unmistakably a nod of approval.

(And then visibly had a crisis over the fact that he was, apparently, looking to a cat for approval.)

~~~~~~~

Pt2>

[kondensaduhhh]

more Tomi Spider Sully HCs

- he's still a year older than Neteyam but Jake gives Neteyam most of the responsibility of protecting and keeping the siblings safe and in line. Spider doesn't think it's fair for his baby bro to take all the responsibility that he, as an older brother, should have. Spider feels as though he isn't true na'vi because even his own father doesn't trust him to keep his siblings safe, that he's too human to be able to guide them. and it's true that Jake does this because Spider is more human than his siblings, but not because he thinks he is unworthy of responsibility, it's because Spider has had too many close calls. While Spider is too human, he is also too na'vi. Jake does this as a form of protection, but he doesn't say it to anyone, not Spider, not Neteyam. And because of this lack of communication, Spider keeps trying to prove himself worthy of being the eldest and not feel like a burden to his baby bro, while Neteyam feels like since he is treated like the eldest, he shouldn't be treated like a baby, and doesn't wanna receive comfort because he 'doesnt need it' (this is one of @lovermyme 's and i wanted to expand on it)

- Spider's first communion with Eywa was how they found out that his queue doesn't work. it simply latches on but that's it. There were whispers during the ceremony, that the child is much too demon for Eywa to accept him. But before Neytiri, sad and angry, hisses at the people, Mo'at takes hold of Spider and brings him close to the roots of the tree, Spider eagerly getting close to the tree, and the place where Spider made contact glowed, and Spider's eyes lit up. Mo'at smiles that knowing smile of hers, "Eywa has accepted the child", she announced, almost pointedly to the whisperers. This was the only time Spider connected. Neytiri and Jake asks questions but all Mo'at answers everytime is: " Eywa has plans for the boy"

- It was actually Neytiri who named Spider 'Tomi' . i like to think that Neytiri only pronounces 'Jake' like more humanly (jjake) is mostly to respect him and his name and because she went to school with Grace who taught them english and english pronunciation, but when she's pissed her accent comes out and pronounces it more na'vi (tsyeyk) the way she prefers to say it, so to Neytiri, it makes sense to name the firsborn of Tsyeyk and Neytiri as Tomi. also yes she heard the name in Jake's memories.

- Spider grew up with a mask almost always around his neck and uses it every few hours or so, so one exopack could last him 3-4 weeks. because of this, Spider has always been the first to wake up and last to wake, despite Neteyam's protest who acts almost competitive on who could wake up earliest, do the most, and sleep the latest.

- definitely, kinda blessed. Didnt get an ikran the way Kiri did, but still managed to get one, with as much difficulty as an adult na'vi would. when the Sully family came to Awa'atlu, (Spider gets taken differenty in this AU because the fall he took in the movie wasn't enough to disoerient him the same way so he wasnt taken. he'll still be taken, don't worry, im still an angst whore to my bones) both him and Kiri would adapt faster, always circled around by the sea creatures, etc.

- the way Spider gets taken in this AU is when Aonung takes Lo'ak and Spider out, but they get separated when they were attacked and Spider was found by some of the human fishermen and thought, "what a freak of nature, how much you'll he'd cost, eh?" which eventually, somehow got him to the RDA and things continue like i. the movie. They plan a search and rescue, obviously doesn't work because, he's been found already, and Lo'ak talks to Payakan, hoping to help find his brother, Payakan doesn't know either because he was too busy fighting of the predator. and again things continue like in the movie.

- The only time Spider's glowy-freckle things glow was his first Communion with Eywa.

- He also doesnt have the body markings na'vi have.

- Weirdly hairless. he only has the peach fuzz both na'vi and humans have. no arm hair, leg hair, no beard too.

- also has a lower body fat percentage, that stockiness he has?? pure fucking muscle, boy is built

- Spider is taller in this, at 16 he is 6'5". the tallest he'll ever be is 7'10". (i legit just searched who is the tallest basketball players and added 2 inches. and i search the average na'vi height which is 9ft) thankfully this doesn't come with any drawbacks like it does in humans, scoliosis, bone diseases, etc. his queue and tail are still too long for him tho.

[glowingvenus]

How would Seiji, Nicholas, and Jesse react to a sphinx cat?

I feel like Nicholas would be weirdly into it and pet that wrinkly skin all excitedly 😆🤚💕✨

😌 I'm very protective of all weird looking critters and tbh sphinx cats aren't even that weird looking. So i can't bring myself to think that any of our fencing boys would find them off-putting in any way.

But yes Nicholas especially seems like he would have a soft spot for animals that the rest of the world is unkind to! After all he's an unwanted child himself... so of course he would feel protective toward the runt of the litter, the dog with three legs, the hairless cat, etc. He and Seiji would be the most loving cat parents ever.

I do think that, as much as Nicholas would shower the cat with affection, they would end up choosing to sit on Seiji’s lap most of the time... Nicholas, don't take it personally...

If Jesse had a sphinx cat they would be an unstoppable Instagram famous duo. I think Jesse would love to stroke his little head while plotting his next scheme to get Seiji to come to Exton 🐱

[bumblebeerror]

I don’t think I’d fuck pyramid head. He’s not big enough. Not enough hair? He’s like weirdly hairless. I want something to play with. Texture to sensory seek with y’know

[1800ligmaballzhigh]

Ben Chapter 8: Jesus loves me

 Ben pulled away and blushed. What did I just do. He thought. To his surprise, Jesus grabbed his face and started violently making out with him. Jesus tasted like peach monster. Ben started kissing, biting Jesus's neck. Jesus reached up Ben's shirt and started fondling his non-existent tits. He gently lifted Ben's shirt up and over his head. Ben unzipped Jesus's black cargo pants. Ben pulled Jesus's cock through the slit in his boxers and started sucking. Jesus was sort of thin, but the thin that hot emo Boys were. Jesus had a toned stomach on account of him always running from his problems. Jesus took his cock out of Ben's mouth. He lifted up Ben's skirt while kissing down his weirdly hairless body. He pulled down Ben's anime panties. "Tell me if this hurts." He said as he pushed inside of Ben. Ben let out a quiet moan. Jesus's dick wasn't nearly as big as the doobster's, but it was a nice size yo where it filled him up, but didn't hurt. Jesus started going faster. Ben got excited and started biting jesus's neck. This felt different than sex with Scooby. Jesus wasn't just using him. He felt like Jesus cared about him. Ben started getting more vocal. He started calling Jesus daddy. Jesus blushed. "Sssshhhhh babe, someone might hear us," Jesus said. The scandal of it all turned Ben on. Jesus wasn't like Scooby doo. Jesus didn't do cocain. He did more chill drugs like weed, and sometimes drank. Ben could feel himself starting to finish. He let out another moan and Jesus covered his mouth, which somehow made it hotter. Ben's eyes rolled back in his head as he finished. "Good boy" Jesus said. Jesus finished up and blew only a single load into Ben's bussy. After they were done, Jesus held Ben in his arm for a few minutes. Ben burried his head in Jesus's shoulder. Jesus helped Ben get redressed. He held Ben for a little while longer until the bell rang. Before they left he kissed Ben on the forehead and said "I love you."

[mevekagvain]

Text: thinking about it. faellan is probably weirdly groomed for a ww. waxing for some reason? truly something wrong with him. like the alternative is that he was born relatively hairless but he's a ww so... probably just bcos its something ww shamans do and both his parents were shamans so he just thinks its a normal thing to do

[psycheterminal]

I haven't drawn 'em yet, but I plan to and I intend to give 'em hair that's most like an otter than ordinary mammals, with Rivulet being hairless outside some on their "whiskers" to help detect water movement.

There's an exception: "manes." These manes are thicker around the head and serve multiple important purposes beyond showboating for mates. Slugcats use bristled plants (think like thistles or stickers) to socially groom each other. Manes are not unique to males, and in fact only rely on how healthy the scug is, relying on general health and a healthy diet. The hair aids in detecting changes in the air, as well as providing help with heat regulation. If given care, occasional trims are okay, but they absolutely should not be shaved, it could make them very sick.

More carnivorous scugs have silky fur, while more herbivorous animals have "stiffer" hair. Saint's still silky because he's evolved for cold by that point, not water but it carries grease, like sheep and lanolin oil so that snow will be wicked away to keep Saint dry. Monk & Survivor have thinner manes due to their youth and stress from being parted from their parents before the end of their adolescence. Gourmand has the good diet to support more hair that's shinier, with Arti and Spearmaster having more bristle-like hair, especially around Spearmaster's tail around the holes where the spears are extruded. Think hogs for the texture of the bristles or hard-bristled brushes that aren't just single bits of plastic standing out. Hunter has patchy, fragile fur, due to their illness. Lots of split ends, they're also much smaller than they should be. (Compare Hunter's size to Monk's in their art. Hunter's itty bitty for an adult!) The closer to Cycle 0, the less hair the poor thing has. Cycle 0 has very little left, if any and it's warped and discolored, darker than it should be. (And weirdly blue.)

A soft brush would feel fantastic for those with more fur than Hunter's sad uneven fuzz. Hunter would struggle more in the cold and extreme heat, due to the lack. Pups only seem fuzzier because they haven't grown into their fur. It helps them stay warm in dens if their parents need to hunt and leave them behind.

[artsydudejude]

captain prism... but... hairier... (i promise this isnt a fetish thing i just wanna see more hairy butches lol)

she

[dogpasta]

“I’m the one who carried you here. Don’t thank me.”