#he takes up 98/100 of my thoughts

[wikitpowers]

MY GUYS i'm sorry i only post about kit but i just have so many constant thoughts about this man, ik nothing else :'))

[kale-of-the-forbidden-cities]

Just thinking about Fitz and Keefe. They're both so jealous of each other. It spiraled into more and more talking about fitz and vacker imperfections and stuff, enjoy :>

(I rambled out the draft on discord, but I did change a few things and add on a bit at the end, so if you feel like rereading it might make more sense now)

tw: breif mentions of ed, suicidal thoughts, and implied sh, but they're all like very brief and not descriptive just want to put a warning

Remember in Flashback when Sophie and Fitz were going all Fitzphie on Keefe's mind, and they found the memory of Alden telling Keefe he was proud?

Imagine it hurt so bad for Fitz when he watched that. Because Alden never says that to Fitz even when he came out on top, no matter how perfect he was, so why did Keefe get that kind of praise?

Keefe may have come out second to Fitz with Foxfire grades, but Fitz has always felt second to Keefe in everything. No matter how perfect he tries to be or how much of a people pleaser he is, it seems inevitable that everyone likes Keefe better anyway.

And how could they not? He's funny, he's messy, he's imperfect.

Fitz could never be like keefe. His family would hate him. But they still like Keefe better.

Alvar always liked Keefe better than his actual little brother. Even though Fitz looked up to Alvar more than anyone! He admitted that in Neverseen!

Alden told Keefe he was proud of him?? for coming in second? Even after all the studying and work Fitz put into being first, being top, being perfect, people always choose keefe, Which is one of the reasons Fitz was so insecure about Sophie spending a lot of time with Keefe while she and Fitz were dating, he was scared she was going to leave him for Keefe, like people always do, because he's just better. he's nicer, he doesn't lash out at people, he doesn't have as much pressure on him because he never cared about pleasing his parents.

AND SHE DID! Sophie did leave him for Keefe. Even though Fitz promised to take things at her pace. Even though he said he'd wait. But it was the match lists that ended up breaking them apart. But what was Fitz supposed to do?? Not care about the match? There had never been a Vacker bad match, and Fitz beign the first one, after everything Alvar did and how much all the Vackers already hate these five in particular, it would bring a whole new level of shame on the family. Not just him, but Biana and Alden and Della too.

Keefe is allowed to not care about this stuff, because he's not perfect. Fitz is so, so, so jealous of Keefe because he GETS TO BE IMPERFECT. HE'S ALLOWED TO MAKE MISTAKES. He's allowed to feel things.

Keefe's parents are awful, Fitz's parents are fine. Anytime Fitz dares to think "hey maybe my parents are manipulating or using me or putting unrealistic expectations on me" he also remembers that he has it GOOD. He's so lucky compared to everyone else. So he has no right to be upset about anything.

In Flashback, Fitz actually says something like this to Sophie: Sophie had to grow up with humans, Keefe has his whole thing with his parents, Dex was bullied for being the son of a bad match, Tam and Linh were banished… so he's had it easy! He has no right to feel sad when his life is just. so. perfect.

And the thing is, everyone thinks his life is perfect. Especially Keefe! Keefe is always talking about how the Vackers are perfect and lucky and he wishes he was one, when inside, Fitz would secretly rather be Keefe. Even with the whole everything with his parents, at least he doesnt have to be perfect! At least he's allowed to disappoint his parents, because theyre bad parents! And people always like him more. Without fail, Fitz has always felt second to Keefe. Every time he thinks he did good, people go to keefe for being imperfect.

Why did keefe get Alden's praise when he came out second in the level? Fitz barely slept to make sure he came out on top! If Fitz had gotten 98/100, he wouldn't be yelled at, but he'd get a disappointed talk. Why is it different with Keefe, who isnt even Alden's son, why does Alden like him more?

So Fitz ends up spiraling and obsessing more and more.

He can't be imperfect like Keefe, he wouldnt dare. So he does what he can to be as perfect as possible. Maybe he just needs to get a hold on his temper. Wait till he's behind closed doors to do anything but smile. Maybe he needs to eat less, get a perfect number on the scale. Maybe then he'll be good enough.

But he's never good enough.

Nothing he does will ever be good enough.

Keefe is reckless, imperfect, and messy. but even though Fitz does his best to not step a toe out of line, he does everything he can to be perfect...... They keep picking Keefe. without fail, no matter what.

Fitz knows he shohld accept defeat, accept that he'll never be good enough for anyone because of everything he's done to try to be perfect, but he can't stop trying.

He'll keep pushing himself, he'll stay up for hours studying, looking for clues about the Neverseen, going through Alvar's old room, he'll do ANYTHING for someone to say theyre proud of him. For someone to tell him that he did good, for once in his life, but they never notice.

It's never "Wow, you've been working so hard, good job!" or "You look good, did you lose weight?" or "Thanks for helping out, thanks for at least trying"

EVEN THOUGH HE DOES NOTHING BUT TRY. HE'S TRYING SO HARD

Instead, people are saying things like "You look awful, you've got bags under your eyes" (maybe he should put on some makeup to hide that) or "You never join us for dinner, it's like you hate us" (he does. he secretly hates his family so much) or "You've gotten so distant that you're ruining all your relationships with your friends and family" (what else is he supposed to do? they dont like him anyway)

He's driving himself insane over being perfect, only to have people like Sophie say that he's "too perfect." HE JUST CANT WIN!

He's not allowed to make mistakes, but maybe the worst mistake he made was being too perfect!

But how does he stop?

He can't. he trapped himself here. He's convinced he brought this on himself, but he cant get out of this cycle,

And nobody else will get him out,

Because he's not perfect enough.

If they havent noticed his struggling, maybe they dont care enough. But Fitz has gotten so good at hiding it. Nobody will notice until he passes out in the hall or just fucking kills himself because it's too much.

Fitz thinks, why is it that Keefe's allowed to be open about hating himself, and yet as soon as he makes the slightest self deprecating comment, he's suddenly "being dramatic" or "looking for attention"?

And we're back to talking about Keefe again.

None of this is Keefe's fault but he will still feel so so guilty. He felt Fitz's jealousy and hurt when they watched the memory of Alden saying he's proud of him.

Keefe and Fitz are constantly comparing themselves to each other, but by the end of the story, Keefe will be getting the help and support he needs to move on from it. Fitz never showed it and wouldnt dare admit it. So he does not.

Alden and Cassius both seem to prefer the other's son.

Even with Fitz and Biana. There's still a bit of jealousy there, because Biana is starting to seperate herself from her family, and start her own "Vacker Legacy," whatever that means.

After Nightfall, biana has grown more comfortable with herself, she is challenging what it means to be a Vacker, realizing that their family isn't all it's claimed to be. She has no shame in being her fun confident self, and crying when she needs to, and showing off her scars, while if Fitz showed his scars, he'd probably end up in a psych ward or something (or at the very least getting yelled at).

Fitz is jealous of Biana almost as much as he's jealous of keefe. She's never been quite perfect either, but it's always in a good way, isn't it? she's managed to keep her friends (not including the earlier books) and she used to be a bit of a jerk to people, so people can look back and see how far she's come.

Fitz has only gotten worse over the years, and he knows it. he hears what people say in the halls. their whispers hardly hide it. He's presented himself the way he wanted to be - perfect. But it gets harder and harder to hide his imperfections, and people only notice the bad things, don't they? They don't worry, they only judge.

Biana's probably dealing with her own issues, as everyone in the Vacker family does, but she can be more honest about it. She's starting to break the habit of plastering on a smile and saying everything's fine. She's working on her relationship with people. She's like reverse Fitz.

Fitz fears he's going down a similar path of destruction to Alvar, but he counters those fears by being Alden's perfect golden boy like he was always supposed to be. Alden has such a hold on Fitz, he'd do anything for him if Alden worded it right. Ever since he was a kid he always knew he'd do anything to please his parents, even if it was potentially dangerous. But nobody has seemed to even bat an eye when they hear how young Fitz was when he went to the Forbidden Cities. So he must be overreacting, right? Because how could Fitz's childhood be anything less than perfect?

See, when Sophie started learning a little bit about Fitz's past and how things were actually not perfect in the Vacker house, she started to ignore him more and more. She had her other reasons, but to Fitz, it seemed like she was seeing how imperfect he really was, and he's not everything she hoped for. So he panics, and does his best to prove to her that he is the perfect boyfriend she wanted, but it didn't matter anyway because... she. liked. Keefe. better.

And Fitz hates himself so much for wishing he was keefe because Keefe has it so bad with the legacy thing, he hates how he wishes his parents were worse so he didn't feel so guilty every time he made a mistake that would disappoint them.

Not one person in Fitz's life has ever chosen him first. With everyone. There's always someone they love more.

Della loves Biana more, Biana chooses her friends, Sophie chose Keefe, Keefe chose Sophie.

Alden seemed to favor Keefe, or his work, or even just the ways he uses Fitz instead of loving him as his son or as a person. Maybe that's why Fitz is so desperate to listen to Alden, to please him, because he's the only person who seems to even care, even if he only cares when he's doing good or being perfect.

Alvar would choose Biana or Keefe over Fitz any day, even before the betrayal. Fitz still looked up to him, despite his vague dislike for Fitz. He likes Biana better because he thinks she'd understand better what the Vacker legacy is, Because FITZ IS PART OF IT. HE'S ADDING ONTO IT, WHATEVER IT IS!

Yep that's all I have, feel free to add your own ideas :3

tags:

@fitz-avery-vacker @autistic-daydreamer

[poedays]

Some Headcanons I have for the listener characters for Redacted/Castle Audios (for funsies):

Castle - Ranger, Seer, Knight, Sugar, Dewdrop, and Dear/Bud

Redacted - Angel, Babe, Sweetheart, Tank, Lovely, and Honey

Castle:

Ranger:

- Looks like the phrase ‘ladies and gentleman’.

- Owns a pair of docs but stopped wearing them because they hurt their feet.

- Has a vintage Hindustan Contessa car in a beige colour.

- > has one of those fluffy dice decorations because Isiah gave them one for Christmas.

- >> they took it down after getting their memories back.

Seer:

- Has grey-ish blue eyes and when they use their powers they flash a bright white.

- Framed a piece of paper with Beth’s work signature on it and hung it where she pushed them against a wall in their house.

- Likes really big dangling earrings but can’t wear them for long otherwise they give Seer a headache.

- Tristan asked Seer to see into his future but instead of something cool, they saw him tripping over his own untied shoelaces.

Knight:

- Has an ‘I love my lesbian sister’ T-shirt, and Claire has a matching ‘I love my ally brother’. (Can be queer sister, ally sibling, or literally any matching queer shirts - I just thought it was fun).

- Is totally into Evie biting them and liked the thought before she was turned into a vampire.

- Knight never walks in front of Claire when the two are walking together, only beside her or behind her. They’re scared she’ll disappear again.

- Being introduced to people as ‘Knight’ gives them a confidence boost every time.

Dewdrop:

- Would own a pet snake.

- > Would call it something either ridiculous or super serious.

- >> “This is my little boy: Sir Serpent Snake-Sir the third”. Or “That’s Bob.”

- Chloe has a birthmark on her thigh that they love to kiss.

Sugar:

- Had a favourite jacket they were wearing before getting turned with a bunch of pins and patches on it -> but it was covered in blood stains after they were attacked and now they never wear it.

- > Their turning was a full on attack that was very bloody.

- Looks 20 but is like 98

- Is such a Valentine’s Day snob and would either proclaimed it’s a false holiday made to make profit from love, or they’d be 100% into it and go wild with roses and wine. (Basically they’d either be Damien or Huxley when it comes to Valentines).

- Saw Liza when she was a high school student but only has a vague memory of it so they can never place where they’ve seen her from before.

Dear/Bud:

- Has Heterochromia, left eye is blue and the other is brown. Totally doesn’t symbolise the two different characters that they’re involved with. Totally.

- Has GAD and takes medication for it, but prefers to have Rose in their head sometimes to help their overwhelming thoughts.

- Monster energy drink addict (Abby got them into them) it is not good for their anxiety (Rose would much rather they drink tea).

Redacted:

Angel:

- Likes to bake but forgets to set a timer, then forgets there’s something in the oven and has almost ended up burning the house down -> David has banned Angel from using the oven when he’s not around.

- Tried and failed to get their driver’s license five times.

- Has a tattoo sleeve with little Animal Crossing and Minecraft references mixed in there.

- Romanced either Sebastian or Shane in Stardew Valley.

Babe:

- Is an only child but has a younger step-sister they see on holidays.

- Likes to carry Asher around sometimes -> wears light and layered clothing so you wouldn’t assume they have muscles but actually have quite a bit.

- Makes Asher little packed lunches for when he has pack meetings and they’re not going.

- Is dyslexic, and needs glasses, words don’t like to word for Babe.

- Has painted Angels nails on numerous occasions.

Sweetheart:

- To empowered people they have tattoo like white marks on their collarbones and under their eyes (Stealth things (also can choose to show them, so people can’t tell right away)).

- Needs reading glasses.

- Has phased in their sleep and woken up above the blankets somehow?

- When they panic they cloak and uncloak really quickly so it kinda looks like they’re teleporting.

Tank:

- Has a bunch of siblings (Tank is towards the older end of the lot) and was heartbroken when they all moved away and none of them chose to stay with them in Dahlia.

- Easily sunburnt.

- Tried to count Sam’s freckles once without telling him what they were doing and kinda just stared at him while gradually getting closer. Eventually they ended up getting his shirt off to count more of them, and Sam just sat there flustered and confused.

- Has 100% played ‘Save a horse (Ride a cowboy)’ to serenade Sam.

Lovely:

- Their hair has started to turn white from stress.

- A lot of their hair was muddy and bloody after getting captured by Adam, so the morning after they were saved Vincent helped them chop off bits that couldn’t be salvaged.

- Used to think their brown eyes were boring but after they turned they miss their old eyes every time they look in a mirror.

- Is absolutely amazing at board/card games.

- > Somehow always wins Game of Life even through it’s pretty much a game of chance.

- > Got Sam, Vincent and Tank to play Monopoly with them and all three were bankrupt within half an hour.

- > Also dabbles in chess.

Honey:

- Works from home most days and has an office with a ‘No Guy Allowed’ sign on the door.

- For Guy’s birthday one year Honey learnt how to crochet and made an amazing sweater with a bunch of granny squares specific to Guy’s interests. Honey is all embarrassed about it because they know where all the little errors are but Guy loves it to death.

- Has picked up Guy to move him out of their way.

- Also plays Stardew Valley sometimes and is like five years in but hasn’t married anyone.

- > Has high hearts with the Wizard.

Thanks for reading! I’ve got more Redacted/Castle rambles on my blog. ❤️

[deathofacupid]

weighing scale

tw: eating disorder (purging, not eating), bodyshaming, ed shaming

btw, if it's requested, i can turn drabbles into full oneshots!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you guys are beautiful the way you are, and nothing anybody ever says or does will ever change that. remember that gaining weight is totally normal, and you can always lose weight, too, but please, do it in a healthy way. if you ever need anyone to talk to, and this isn't just for eds, i'm here, and you can reach out. if not, there are people who care about you and love you.

you're amazing you beautiful mfs

(also i'm sorry if this might not be correct for you, everyone has different experiences with eds)

(also, also, i did 1st person ... and this is just the way i thought when i was going thru this so i kinda made it relate w/ me??)

100.

98.

96.

she watched as the numbers went down, satisfied despite the fact that it was only one pound less yesterday.

90.

88.

even if it meant that she'd always be cold, or that her hair would fall out. it was a small price to pay to be beautiful. to be skinny. to be like all the other girls that peter liked.

y/n kept telling herself that. and it was enough to keep her going.

{four weeks prior}

(first person)

they had little packets for us to take home, like forms. something along the lines of "annual health check-up." the form was just... well, it wasn't a form, really, but more of an opt-out. the paper said they'd just check weight, height, and some other things, like make sure you didn't have scoliosis.

honestly?

i was just happy to be missing a good chunk of math.

everyone got called down to the gym by period, and mine was 5th period, right before lunch.

our class was waiting for them to call us down, so mr. callen just let us do whatever until then. i glanced over to see liz, kayla, and chloe in the corner of the classroom, giggling and pointing towards some of the boys, and eventually, mr. callen.

he was one of the youngest members on faculty, fresh out of college. and i'll admit, he's not bad looking. in fact, he's hotter than most of the guys. and if it wasn't peter that had my heart, maybe i'd think about someone else.

not that the whole peter thing was going great anyways, he seemed interested in liz. so maybe that was my hint to move on. but i don't know. i've just liked him forever, it'd feel wrong to stop now.

i'm just really loyal, i guess.

or maybe this is some weird first love/crush thing, because no matter what, i keep finding myself coming back to him.

it took me second to realize that i'd been staring at the same spot for a while now, so i probably looked funny. i re-adjusted my position and looked at the clock, noting there there was just a few minutes until we'd have to go down.

i looked by at the girls, then at the teacher. did they not realize that he had an engagement ring on? or where they just dense?

because honestly, i'm having a hard time figuring out which one it is.

liz pushed chloe over to the desk, giggling like a manic.

chloe bit her lip, trying to hold in laughter. "hiiii, cal. you know, like, cupid's day is coming?"

me, personally, i didn't really believe in the whole dumb blonde thing, but chloe was changing my aspect on this.

cupid's day was on valentine's day, and you could pay a dollar to have a rose delivered to someone. normally, the freshmen girls did most of the planning. freshmen girls were annoying. they were always together, and i didn't remember a time i'd seen one alone.

i didn't get any on my first year here. last year i got three. but it didn't really count, because mj got me one and betty did. i was hoping that i'd figure out who the third person was, but three weeks into that investigation, i kinda gave up. if they hadn't revealed themselves to me at that point, i'd figured that they probably wouldn't.

maybe junior year will go better.

if you were popular popular, you got at least seven, so it was kind of embarrasing to only get one. and it was probably even more embarrasing to only have, like, one friend. which was betty. but she hadn't hung around me that often since she started dating ned.

mj was an observer, and i knew that much. it was probably the only reason she got me a rose, because she felt bad. but then again, anyone could see how pathetic it was.

peter and i used to be pretty close, but then he met ned, so the attention he gave me got halved.

i would have tried to be friends with ned, because i know he's really nice, but i stressed out too much about it for some reason and gave up. social anxiety, perhaps? it didn't matter, it was too late to do anything about it now.

after that, peter started hanging around liz and some of the other popular kids, and entirely forgot about me.

did forget about ned, though. maybe beacuse i was a girl, and so peter got called "gay" a lot for that. i didn't have much of a chance compared to liz, so i just admired him from afar. it's not that we didn't talk, because we did sometimes, but... actually, i don't know what.

if peter wanted to, he would have.

and it's fairly obvious, but i'm delusional and chose to ignore that.

the intercom snapped me out of whatever zoning out i'd gone back to, "block d, block d. i-is this on? oh, it is? i- yes, block d down to the gym."

everyone got up and pushed their way out the door, i didn't have that type of energy, so i just waited for everyone to get their butts outta the way and then went myself. i followed them down to the hall, staying behind a little. when i finally got over there, i ended up last, right behind chloe, kayla, then liz.

for the most part, it only took a minute or two for each person, so the line didn't take that long.

well, i suppose that's subjective.

it took 15 minutes, but whatever.

when liz was inside, she didn't take care to close the door all the way, leaving it a couple inches open. that's on her.

that's on her for being irresponsible, so it's not really my fault if i accidently hear. i leaned in a little, suddenly very interested in the wall, with all it's cracks... and... paint, and...

"and step on the scale, please... that is," she paused, and you could hear scribbling of a pen.

"121.3 pounds. perfectly healthy. that's actually the average weight for girls your age," another pause, "make sure to give this form to your parents. have a nice day."

liz said something in return and i stepped back, done admiring the wall. "next!" the lady called in.

i stepped inside the room, and it smelt strongly of hand-sanitizer. "okay, honey, step up against the wall... height is... alrightly. now the scale, please."

i did as she asked, keeping my eyes trained on the numbers.

149.7 pounds. basically 150. that was more than liz's, right?

"149, okay, you're good to go-"

"is that around average weight?" i asked, and it was impulsive, i didn't even think.

"well, it's somewhere around that. you're perfectly healthy."

the intercom came on again, signaling my time was over, and the lady thought the same thing, because she ushered me out.

as i walked back to the classroom, i couldn't help but think;

149? no, 150? around average? so basically, i was above average. 30 pounds heavier than liz? no wonder peter likes liz better.

god, that's disgusting. i'm disgusting.

i trudged back to class, unable to stop thinking about it. and suddenly, an idea popped into my mind; why not lose weight? if i lost a little, maybe peter would care about me again.

that's genius. god, i'm a genius.

yeah. i lose a little weight.

when i got back, he'd already started the lesson, not that i cared. i spent the rest of that class figuring out the kinks, like how many calories i'm allowed to eat per day.

i settled on 800.

it seemed like a decent number if i wanted to actually make an impact with weight loss.

stupid kale smoothies weren't gonna get me anywhere, nor idiotic influencer workout routines.

before i knew it, the bell rung and kids were hustling through the hallways. i was kind of on autopilot as i walked to lunch, not really watching where i was going. i'd by mistake shouldered some people, and they gave me dirty looks. i shot them right back.

i couldn't help but silently, in my mind, judge everyone's body that i saw. and not just their body, but other physical features, too. it was automatic, i didn't even mean to. but i couldn't help it.

she's really fat. the gym exists for a reason.

how is she so skinny? i know she's anorexic.

and it just went on and on.

i didn't know what was going on. why this mattered to me all of a sudden.

it was like i didn't notice these things before, i wasn't looking for them, but now that i knew they were there, i couldn't help it.

i couldn't help a lot of things.

when i walked into the lunchroom, i saw peter sitting by himself, writing on some piece of paper, and if i knew him, he wasn't doing the homework due tomorrow.

he was doing yesterday's.

it didn't seem like i'd be bothering him if i went to go talk to him, so that's what i did. i figured since we hadn't talked in while, it would be great to now.

and it'd be a great distraction, too.

i sat down across from him, "hi, peter."

he looked up slowly, a smile rising on his face. "uh, hey, y/n/n," peter paused, "what, um, what did you need?"

"huh? oh, i didn't need anything. just thought i'd come by and annoy the hell out of you."

"just like old times," peter snorted.

"math homework?"

"yep. i have math-"

"-next period," i realized my mistake after i made it. "um, 'cause i see you when i'm walking to class."

in repsonse, he nodded like he was considering it.

i didn't notice i was hungry until my stomach growled, but something inside of me made the thought of getting food and eating it repulsive. i hesitated before grabbing on of peter's fries and popping it in my mouth. he didn't say anything, or really even care, and i didn't know if i liked that or not.

"okay. you have chem next, yeah?"

i blushed at the fact he knew.

"uh, yep," i snagged some more fries, feeling myself loosen up.

and then i realized, that's what this was; i was just in need of some time with actual people who weren't my parents.

i liked this. i liked talking to peter. it was easy. this was easy.

we laughed about some other things, like flash's new donkey haircut.

and i stole more fries. ned, betty, and mj (who normally sat two seats away) came over. the topic of cupid's day came up.

"how many do you think you'll get?" betty asked.

i looked up, "roses?"

"uh-huh."

ned spoke up, "you won't need to worry, bet, i'll get you a whole bouquet." he looked proud of himself.

"i'm not worried," she giggled, like the lovesick fool she was. it was gross. and yes i admit, it was slightly because i was jealous, but whatever. betty didn't have to act so idiotic and desperate.

betty's skinny, too.

"what about you, y/n?" peter said, locking eyes with me.

"i dunno. i never really get any."

something changed in peter's expression, but as soon as it was there, it was gone.

i took another fry. they were really good, for some reason.

"fattie," peter laughed, pulling his lunch tray back, "and then you complain about not getting roses!"

that caused a round of laughs in the small group, but my heart dropped to my feet.

i was right. i was overweight. even peter noticed.

freaking peter noticed.

god, i was ugly and fat, and even peter saw that.

of course he liked liz. he'd be crazy not to. she was curvy and skinny and petite and pretty and skinny.

she was skinny.

i didn't have her hourglass figure.

never did i ever want out of my own skin more.

"y/n?" pete frowned. "i-i'm sorry, it was a joke, i didn't-"

"no, no, not that. i, uh, i... forgot i was supposed to meet with a teacher. sorry. i have to go."

i didn't go to any teachers.

i did go to the bathroom.

and i hid in the handicapped stall. i didn't cry, or sob, or weep or whatever it was stupid girls did in hallmark movies or stuff.

i stood in front of the mirror and picked out everything i hated, making a mental list in my head.

i didn't finish that list, not even after 30 minutes when the bell rung.

-

the rest of the day flew by rather quickly, it seemed. i felt like i was trapped in a warm haze, but not the fuzzy, happy warmth. i didn't like the way i was thinking. it's like i wanted my brain to turn off, these intruding, ugly thoughts were taking up too much room.

i felt icky.

when i got home, i didn't have my normal after-school snack like i usually did. i went straight upstairs and did homework.

i finished two essays (one that wasn't due until two weeks, and one that was due two days from now), my math homework and studied for my math test, started my science project, and did my french flashcards (and studied them a bit).

i must have been locked in my room for hours, because by the time i got up, it was dark outside.

i wasn't a studious person, and the only reason i did any of this was to forget for a little while. to snap out of it. and for a while, it worked.

"y/n, honey!" my mom screamed from downstairs, and as i glanced at the clock, i realized it was time to have dinner.

but i wasn't hungry.

well, i was.

let me rephrase that; i didn't want to eat.

however, i didn't want my mother yelling at me, so i went down anyways. not that i was planning to eat.

"mom?"

"oh, hey. i already set the table, you seemed like you were working hard and i didn't wanna bother you. dad's working late. go sit down-"

"not hungry."

she frowned. "well, you have to eat something."

"but i'm not hungry," i said, hating how sharply it came out.

my mom gave me warning look. "look, i've had a long day, so don't start with me."

"mommmm," i whined.

"sit."

so i did. i felt bad about bothering her.

i ate. small, tentative bites, forcing it all down. we didn't talk.

silently, i put my dish in the sink, before heading upstairs. the food sat at the bottom of my stomach, like a pile of heavy rocks. i wanted them out.

so i turned on the shower and locked the bathroom door, kneeling in front of the toilet. i pressed my fingers to the back of my throat and kept them there for a second. at first, all i got was bile.

but then i threw up.

-

peter and i started talking more again. i think he got in a fight with liz.

i asked him if they were dating, and he said no.

i think he started hanging out with me again because i got skinny. i know for a fact that i'm skinnier than liz. i weigh less then her now.

the numbers told me that.

but i didn't listen.

i didn't stop, and how could i? when i'd gotten this far?

-

we got in a fight. not the yelling kind, though. well, kind of. i yelled a bit.

i thought he was complimenting me. he said i looked skinny, so i thanked him.

"no... i-" he paused, trying to get his thoughts together, "you look skinny, yes, but not in a good way."

"what? what do you mean? like, there's only a good way," i laughed, slightly nervous.

peter ingnored that. "have you been eating enough, angel?" his voice was soft, but there was worry in it. why was he worried? this is the best i've ever been.

"do you ask liz that, too?"

"i- what?"

"liz is skinny. you don't ask her that."

"that- that is different. y-you haven't been eating, have you? is-"

"god, parker! stop! it's none of your business!" maybe if i hadn't been so flustered, i'd have come up with a better comeback.

-

i was hunched over the toilet, but nothing was coming out. everything hurt.

my head. my stomach.

my throat was scratchy and raw.

i didn't hear the knocking on the door.

i don't really remember peter coming in. i thought i locked it. what was he doing at my house? i couldn't remember.

i wanted to sleep.

i think i was crying. i don't know. i only vaguely remember the hot tears.

i slightly remember him pulling me away from the toilet and into his arms. there were lots of holes in my memory for that day.

he stayed with me, though. one thing i'm sure about is that peter never left my side. i can recall bright lights. tubes. i was laying on something. white walls. white sheets.

what was engraved into my head was peter whispering "i love you" over and over again. in the bathroom. in the car. was it a car? as they hooked me up to cables.

all that mattered, though, was that i was skinny now. just the thought made me feel light and airy.

to think that all it took was a little motivation and a weighing scale.

[itostea]

dead serious (reo x reader)

warnings: they’re academic rivals!! (i’m reading if you could see the sun right now and oh god i forgot how much i love this troupe), reo is cocky in this but it’s cute

“Good job on the essay, (Name). That was a complex analysis and I had a fun time reading it. Keep up the hard work.”

A 97%. You think that’s a score worthy enough to beam and nod enthusiastically at your teacher’s praises. Nothing feels better to score well on an assessment that was regarded as difficult–not to mention, in a class that’s considered difficult. Naturally, you don’t let the score get to you but how could you not grin as you sat down, proud and relieved that your hard work paid off. 

Your eyes flit to a head of purple hair, watching as he taps his fingers on the wooden table, deep in thought but not particularly concerned about his score–as if he knew he was going to do well. His eyes glance over your paper, mumbling a congratulations at the red 97 plastered on your paper. 

“You look calm. You’re not worried about your grade? You might lose our bet.” You ask, considering him with a short glance. For a moment, you feel your heart pick up as your eyes meet, irritated at yourself for feeling so fidgety around your rival. There was no way you were going to lose another bet with him, especially one that you devoted so much time to. If you lost, then in his words, you’d have to grant him a wish. Needless to say, that commitment applied to him as well. 

His lips curve into a self-assured smile that’d surely make anybody swoon. “Worried? I thought that was more of your job.”

“What’s that supposed–”

“Mikage?” Your teacher’s voice suddenly interrupts and you see how she beckons him to come grab his paper. He flashes another boyish smile at you, his eyes lingering on you before he gets up to receive his score.  You tilt your head in curiosity as they spare a few minutes engaging in a conversation. Not the kind of talk where the student typically cries or angrily yells at the teacher for failing them. As a matter of fact, Reo was smiling, making small talk and nodding as if he were accepting a detailed compliment. 

“Thank you for your words Miss. I’ll be sure to take your insight into account,” he says in that business-man type of voice.

“What a dedicated student you are, Mikage. So humble despite making the highest mark.”

You blink until your lips part in astonishment. “No way,” you whisper, gazing at him in astonishment as he approaches his table. As if he did it on purpose, he slides the paper on the wooden surface for your eyes to see the large 98% scribbled on the top. The class bursts into discussion, with some students already going to their friends for comfort after they got their failing grades; others just satisfied that they passed; and of course the few outliers who managed to do well on such a difficult essay. 

“That’s a shame,” he grinned, leaning closer to you until you could smell his cologne and minty breath. “You almost had it. You know I’m a bit disappointed as well? I didn’t get 100% as I anticipated.”

You feel your eyes twitch at his last comment, realizing that he was just rubbing salt into your wound. “Let me read it,” you pause, noticing his awaiting smile before you sighed. “Fine. Please let me read it.”

He snickers, fingers reaching over to slip the papers into your hands. You scan the perfect handwriting and the neatly crossed out words. To add fuel to the fire, you realize that he chose to argue against the easier side and it made perfect sense. You grip his papers and bite the inside of your cheek, reaching over to your own essay. As you compared them, you suddenly understood why he managed to surpass you with a single percentage: the structure was only slightly better than yours. 

You perk up and frown. “We still have the math test–”

“Beat you in that already love. Did my score make you forgetful now?” He teases and you try to ignore how he called you “love.” Or howw it made your heart dance in your chest.

“Now about the bet…” he smiles, the kind of grin that makes you lean away in suspense. You’re expecting a strange one–like buy me a drink everyday or do a stupid dance. Lately, you’ve noticed he’s been hanging around that boy named Nagi and they’ve been playing soccer in the fields more often. You feel yourself growing increasingly worried as you consider one of his requests might be to become a ball girl for their practice. 

“Let’s see… What should I make you do for me? Hm,” he teases, pretending to think hard. 

“Just hurry up with–”

“Go on a date with me.”

You stare at him with a wide-eyed look, wonder swirling in your eyes as you grapple with his unexpected request. “What?” 

It’s almost a habit for you to scrutinize his expression to see what kind of mood or emotion played at his heart. He was serious. Dead serious. You could tell with the way his eyes were lit by the flame of determination, as if an ego took over him. “Go on a–”

“I heard you the first time!” You whisper yelled, covering part of your face in both embarrassment and bewilderment. “Why me? I thought you only thought of me as a rival?”

“A rival? Oh I guess we are like that,” he says and if this were any other time, you would’ve been offended by the fact that he just confirmed your one-sided rivalry. “So? What time works for you? 7 or 8? I’m thinking of–”

“Reo!” You stare at him, flustered, the kind of expression that grounds him to reality for a second. Just a minute ago, you looked like a kicked puppy and he had to resist the urge to just ask you on a date right then and there. He grinned again, this time wider. It was hard not to smile so wide when he was around you. 

“That’s the second time you interrupted me, love,” he teases light-heartedly. “So I’m guessing 8?” 

“Oh my god,” you groaned, your head in your hands. “You’re crazy.”

“You’re right. I am crazy. Crazy for you–”

“Reo!”

“That’s the third time you did it sweetheart,” he smiled and you can’t help but feel another wave of red hit you at the sound of “sweetheart.”

“Don’t joke around with me right now…” you mumble, averting your eyes from his purple gaze. 

As if a switch was flipped, you see how his face turned serious and hear his voice grow firmer. “I’m not joking. I want to take you out on a date. Truth is, I studied really hard just to win the bet with you so I could ask you…”

You gape as you see how pink dusted his cheeks. Yeah. He was serious. You don’t know how long you spent staring at him but it’s enough to make him sigh. “Look, it’s fine if you want to… Just–”

“I’ll go,” you muttered quietly against your palm. That’s makes it the fourth time you interrupted him now.

“Just–Sorry what? You’ll go?”

You can only give him a nod and this time, he’s the one who goggles at you. “For real?”

“Yes for real!”

It’s almost comical how quickly his mood shifted. With a blink of an eye, he’s already leaning closer to you, laughing in astonishment. “You’ll go?”

“I said yes–”

“You’ll go!” This time he says it as a statement and you have to shush him as a few eyes wander to the both of you. Luckily, the bell is enough to keep everyone’s attention off the two of you. He stands up, gathering his things and inching towards you again. “I’ll pick you up at 8 okay? Promise me you’ll go?”

It’s rare to see Reo like this and that makes it way harder for you to disagree. “I promise.”

He leaves with a grin, excited to tell Nagi all about how the two of you were going on a date with him. And midway through the hallways it dawns on him: he didn’t doesn’t know where you live. 

That night, you roll your eyes at how he spams you for your address. Yet, there’s no denying that your fingers shake as you respond, giddy at seeing him all over again.

[thefloatingwriter]

FINALLY SOMEONE WHO LOVES WIRESS TOO oh my god I feel so seen!! Also in response to your thingy: 🔥!!!

omg i LOVE wiress. she’s so interesting y’know?? but seriously as soon as i saw your blog i was like yes another wiress fan lol.

but anyway back to my opinions.

Wiress:

the thing with wiress is that, by three standards, she is not a genius. like she’s insanely smart, but it’s not like all encompassing?? if that makes sense???

but that’s just three standards. in terms of every other district (with the exception of MAYBE five. maybe.) she is off the charts smart. but wiress does not realize this so she’s like:

w: one time i got a 98 on my trigonometry test and that stuck with me because the rest of my classmates all got either 99 or 100 :(

the other victors: what the fuck is trigonometry.

Beetee:

he’s a bitch. that’s it. i’m being completely serious too; i love writing characters where they’re just assholes half of the time and i apparently decided beetee would be one of them.

half of the time it’s not even intentional either. like someone’s talking and he thinks of the best insult he’s ever thought of ever and he just says it without thinking at all. most of the victors have been insulted by him in some way or shape or form. whether he apologizes is completely up in the air - either he does it immediately or just stares at you with a blank expression until you drop it.

D3:

okay warning i have an insane amount of thoughts abt d3 so… this might take a minute.

*physically throws out the canon area for d3* being one of the first districts (and one of the most rebellious) i feel like they’re really close to the capitol, like how d1 is. so i put it at the very top of idaho, some of oregon and washington, and a little bit of montana. they border seven to the north/east and one to the south.

a good amount of the population is either in poverty or on the cusp (about 120k out of 190k). these people live in what are known as the Stills, an area off the main city of Three, where the wealthier citizens live. the Stills consists of five smaller towns/neighborhoods surrounding a square known as the Interface. this is where most of the shops in the Stills are, along with the main bar, which is called Harlow’s. Harlow’s sometimes has live music or local bands. they typically suck but everyone is usually too drunk to care lol.

the main town is where the wealthier residents live. they also have a square, which is surrounded by small shops and businesses. this is where the reapings take place. it can fit all of the children of reaping age, though it struggles with the rest of the family. they usually have to stand off to the side or in streets with screens to watch the reaping.

the main town is also where the victor’s village is, a short walk away from the square and up a short hill. as of the 75th hunger games, it had a total of five residents:

Attican (“Atlas”) Hoffman - victor of the 16th hunger games and the first victor from three. lived completely alone (except for all of his cats) in the village for twenty-four years. grew up in the main town, was born into a wealthy family. was 16 when he won, was 75 as of the 3QQ.

Beetee Latier - victor of the 40th hunger games and the second victor from three. his five siblings lived in his house with him until they all got jobs and houses in the main town. they visit for holidays and birthdays. grew up in the Stills. was 19 when he won, was 54 as of the 3QQ.

Wiress Lisiecki - victor of the 48th hunger games and the third victor from three. her older sister got a good job in the main town after she won and her mother already lived comfortably. she did bring her four cats (fleur, iris, leni, and luna) with her. grew up in the main town, into a wealthy family. was 18 when she won, was 45 as of the 3QQ.

Marie Teller - victor of the 55th hunger games and the fourth victor from three. her father had already succumbed to an illness and her mother was killed by peacekeepers after attempting to steal fruit from a stand. she moved in with beetee because he was a family friend when she was sixteen. grew up in the Stills. was 17 when she won, was 37 as of the 3QQ.

Haskell Nishimaru - victor of 68th hunger games and the fifth and final victor from three. he was brought up by his aunt and uncle. they lived with him until he was eighteen and then moved nearby. grew up in the Stills. was 16 when he won, was 23 as of the 3QQ.

okay all of those weren’t unpopular opinions and most of this was just me ranting but i hope you liked my word vomit lol!! <333 thank you for the ask 💕💕

[killugon-truther]

hxh analysis: ep. 98 [killua] parallels ep. 116 [gon]

okay but the parallel between killua kinda lashing out/getting defensive towards gon in ep. 98 and gon lashing out/getting defensive towards killua in ep. 116 (but in a more intense way when he did it obv) has been a reoccurring thought in my head for a while now.

esp since i always personally interpreted killua’s goal for splitting up at all in ep. 98 as more than just him believing it’ll be easier to do alone & wanting gon to focus on prioritizing the mission over all else. that’s def part of it, but i also believe that killua’s actions, esp in this arc, always have an underlying emotional response in them, even if he doesn’t verbally mention it & he makes it seem like it’s ONLY for the sake of the mission.

when gon begins to interject, killua’s voice & actions begin to take on a rather defensive tone and then he switches to a more controlled & composed demeanor, acting as if he actually has everything under control (bc killua feels the need to constantly have everything under his control, or at least act like he does or act like it doesn’t bother him even when it’s the opposite); he does this a few times throughout the brief span they talk abt this.

even killua’s words (paraphrasing here), which are “no offense, but it’ll be easier for me to do alone,” had a rather harsh tone to them imo. at the same time, we can’t rly see killua’s expression, just the bottom half of his face, both that and his voice concealing how he rly feels. to me, this is only amplified by gon’s reaction, which was to make a face and say “okay, i get it.” in a rather annoyed/dejected tone.

like, “okay, i get it; you don’t want me around right now, you don’t think i’ll be able to help you. you don’t have to rub it in.” or smth like that. and considering gon is equally codependent on killua as killua is on him, & gon’s own internal insecurities and struggles abt not being strong/good enough to help or save the ppl he loves, i can imagine that probably insulted him even more, esp since it was his best friend in the entire world saying it. even if it wasn’t necessarily a “big deal”, that would still hurt.

all i could think in this moment was that killua was intentionally trying to push gon away, which was weird to me at first bc i didn’t understand why. why would killua be pushing his best friend away right now, arguably when they need each other most (again, i understand killua is also doing this for the mission but at the same time, it feels like he’s somewhat acting out of emotion) at the moment?

i think it’s bc this is the arc where killua’s feelings for gon (idc if you see them as platonic or romantic; regardless, killua is in DEEP) are at their most heightened, and at the same time, is the most aware killua has been of them. i could be wrong, but i feel this is the time he realized how much gon truly means to him, and at the same time, just how terrified he is of losing him (ep. 84, aka the “he’s my most precious friend!”, “i don’t want.. to lose him!”, and the needle removal ep. was when his feelings became more intense & he started to become more and more aware of how he truly felt).

(side note: i 100% believe that killua pulling out the needle, which was bc of how much he loved gon in the 1st place, was part of the reason killua’s feelings seem to steadily become more intense as the arc progressed. he can actually FEEL and REMEMBER stuff better now in its absence. why wouldn’t that make his emotions for his loved one(s) even more intense?)

what’s smth killua usually does when he’s afraid, when he feels like he doesn’t have any or enough control? he hides how he truly feels, he lashes out, he gets defensive, he tries to take control back of himself, his feelings, and of the situation in order to quell all of that trauma-born anxiety, sometimes even at the expense of hurting others or himself (just like gon does sometimes and esp in this arc).

and while this isn’t a perfect one-on-one parallel, it def feels like one to the way gon acted towards killua in ep. 116. gon pushed killua away by lashing out bc he felt like he was losing control; control of himself & feelings, control of the situation, control of the narrative he created in his mind of pitou being evil incarnate & them getting kite back in order to avoid completely breaking, etc.

if gon can't control kite being restored and if he can't control the situation, then he will grasp for smth that he sees as a last resort, one of the only things he can do: pushing away the person who loves him the most & who he loves most in return, the person he needs the most & who also needs him most, as a form of control. he can't directly control killua & make him go away, but he can be harsh and thoroughly even so, so killua leaves, and gon won't have to worry abt being the cause of another person he cares abt, who he values over himself, dying.

in ep. 98, killua couldn't control his feelings or the situation at hand- gon may very well die, & killua just can't let that happen- so he pushes all of that away in order to quell the fear, the vulnerability, the pain as much as he can in order to gain just some control, and in turn, pushes gon away. in ep. 116, gon does the same thing to him.

and look at these !!

ep. 98

ep. 116

they def feel like parallels. like i said, not one-on-one, but very similar !! the fact that killua & gon are further apart and that gon’s completely faced away in the ep. 116 parallel compared to ep. 98 where they’re closer and killua is still facing/looking at gon makes me so sad 😭😭 symbolism of characters separating further and further apart is the best and the worst.

basically... gon & killua love each other very much, but that love isn't always healthy on account that they are very traumatized and immature children who both have a constant need for control and to "fix" things by themselves and are afraid of facing their true feelings, which leads them to them lashing out & hurting each other & themselves lol. we love self destructive, codependent best friends !!

hope u enjoyed this analysis !! if u have any comments, criticisms, or anything else u wanna add, pls do.

[berrypass-de-murdler]

96. Breaking and Investigating

Random irratino painting I'm not proud of

He looks miserable in a lot of my drawings recently-

Book 2 is E N C R O A C H I N G

DON'T READ THE EPISODES UNTIL YOU'VE FINISHED THE FIRST BOOK!!

IRRATINO: Let’s go save Hollywood! LOGICO: Irratino wait. They’ll never let me back on the lot now, not after they saw me begging to bail. We might as well give up. IRRATINO: …  IRRATINO: Are you serious. LOGICO: Yes…  IRRATINO: [slaps him]  LOGICO: HAHAHHA. No. We’ll use one of our old tricks. IRRATINO: YAAES, I love old tricks! Which one? LOGICO: [makes sure no one’s listening] Lying.

The duo has fake mustaches and janitor outfits - they’re ‘mechanics’! They look absolutely adorable in their faux getup. Logico looks like a cyclops Mario! Anyway, they creep around and over fences, avoiding prying eyes. And with a shabang, they’re in!

IRRATINO: That was SO easy! LOGICO: Irratino shhh! 

Surprisingly, there’s no response-

MIDNIGHT: You idiots. OXYMORONS: GAHAHH! [fall over like boards] MIDNIGHT: You only got in because the security guard is dead.

Luckily, a brown and green boulder rolls in at just the right time.

CELADON: I’ll be the new security guard. You two stay put. IRRATINO: We’re… already in- LOGICO: SHHH! PRESIDENT: What’s going on? STEEL: UGH… THOSE PEOPLE BROKE IN AGAIN! Wait, who’s the tall one?

What’s actually important is… who did the murder, and did they do it with marot cards, specifically picked for a fatal future?

IRRATINO: Pfffffffffhhhhaahahahahaha what??

As the suspects split up and the duo scans around, Logico still has trouble walking in his clunky little pants.

LOGICO: I’m just not built for pants. IRRATINO: Easy there, Logico. LOGICO: WHY IS YOUR MIND SO TWISTED.

Logico finds a trace of metal on the clothing of Midnight III.

IRRATINO: Clothing? He’s a blob, he doesn’t wear anything! LOGICO: Except…  IRRATINO: OHHHHHH.

Midnight is not one for cheap sunglasses - his shades are real metal. Meanwhile, his father ducks behind a C-stand.

PRESIDENT: The C stands for Cresident. LOGICO: I think he might have done it. STEEL: WAIT! Wait. [sigh] Look… I wanted to take over Hollywood.

A full confession? From STEEL?

STEEL: I just… ugh… NUHH ugh.  LOGICO: All right, come with me then. 

But Irratino won’t come. He’s busy with a dowsing rod.

LOGICO: Irratino, come on. We have her. IRRATINO: Hmm… we should really investigate that stage, Logico.

They kick down a locked door.

MIDNIGHT: Hi. LOGICO: So you did it, or…? IRRATINO: Logico, don’t you see what this means? LOGICO: That Midnight III did it?

No, not at all. The real fact was that everyone else was drawing attention away from… her!!

CELADON: Me.

Everyone pretends to gasp.

LOGICO: Right… obviously. [blushes in severe embarrassment] CELADON: I saw the latest anti-war film, and I decided I had to do something about it. So I came down here to peacefully and diplomatically discuss the situation, but when a ‘security guard’ threw me out, I thought this is my red line, and I got revenge. And more importantly, with this one dead, I can become the real security guard Hollywood deserves.

Logico is sad.

IRRATINO: Don’t worry, we got her in the end! LOGICO: [sputter] That didn’t have ANYTHING to do with what we’re looking for! There’s NOTHING here! IRRATINO: [kneels down] Don’t worry. All things are connected. Even things that aren’t connected at all. 

He places a hand on Logico’s chest. This makes him extremely warm, and they’re ready to go forward.

The end!

98-100 actually I haven't written so I'mma be writing them on the day I post - this'll be fun

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!

[spncupcake]

186 writing prompts //

I found this post earlier last year. OP deleted the post, but I had saved this. These are NOT my ideas - credits to OP.

Angst:

1. " Give me a chance. "

2. " Not you again.."

3. " Leave me alone."

4. " I don't love you anymore. "

5. "Why do you hate me? "

6. " Host the baby. "

7. " I thought you loved me. "

8. " I don't need you anymore."

9. " I can't believe you! '

10. " We cant keep this up forever. "

11. " You're a monster. "

12. " I hate you. "

13. " Don't leave me...

14. " You're a disappointment. "

15. " Don't die on me - Please."

16. " I never meant to hurt you. "

17. " Are you upset with me? "

18. " I wish i'd never met you. "

19. "I'm going to kill you! "

20. " Please don't hurt me like this."

21. ”Thanks for nothing. "

22. " Dont call this number again. "

23. " Why did you spare me? '

24. " You need to leave. "

25. " I'm sick. "

26. " I'm dying."

27. " I wish i'd never met you."

28. " I thought we were family!"

29. " There was never an us."

30. " So that's it? It's over? "

31. " I fucked up."

32. " I came to say goodbye. "

33. He's dead because of you. "

34. " I don't deserve to be loved. "

35. " About the baby... Its yours.

Love:

36. " I'm so in love with you. "

37. " Dance with me! "

38. " Isn't this amazing? "

39. " I wish we could stay like this forever. "

40. " Will you marry me? "

41. " I'm pregnant."

42. " I need a hug. "

43. " You're special to me. "

44. " I'm going to keep you safe. "

45. " Do you trust me? "

46. " Can I kiss you right now? "

47. " You're cute when you're angry. "

48. " I've liked you for awhile now. "

49. ~ Lets have a baby."

50. " We'd make such a cute couple."

51. " I want to take care of you. "

52. " Can we cuddle? "

53. " It's lonely here without you."

54. " I can't stand the thought of loosing you. "

55. " Shut up and kiss me already."

56. " Are you flirting with me? "

57. " Is that my shirt? "

58. " How did we get here? "

59. " You own my heart. "

60. " You'd be a great dad. "

61. " You'd be a great mom."

62. " I want to protect you. "

63. "Whats the matter? "

64. " You're so beautiful. "

65. " Did you do something different with your hair?”

66. " Is that a new perfume? "

67. " Stop being so cute. "

68. " You're making me blush! "

69. " You're teasing me again..."

70. " This is why I fell in love with you. "

71. " You're the best! "

72. " They're going to love you, don't worry! "

73. " Oh, Are you ticklish? "

74. " Of course I remembered! "

75. " You're one hell of a girl. "

76. " You're one hell of a guy. "

77. " Are you jealous? '

78. " Hold me and never let me go. "

79. " Stop hogging all the blankets! "

80. " Let’s run away together."

General:

81. " Catch me if you can! "

82. " I'm fine. "

83. " Are you drunk? "

84. ��" Are you high? "

85. " We cant go in there...

86. " Give it back! a

87. " Well this is just great. "

88. " Don't touch me."

89. " Not sure if you could tell, but l'm not exactly a people person. "

90. "This was fun - Lets do it again sometime!"

91. " I didn't do it! "

92. " I did it... "

93. I don't remember that! "

94. Well that's pretty rude of you to say."

95. " Get that thing away from me! "

96. " You owe me. "

97. " Do you believe in aliens? "

98. " Do you believe in ghosts? "

99. " Are you hitting on me? "

100. " Why are you naked? "

101. " You did what?!"

102. " You have... Superpowers? "

103. " Why are you bleeding? "

104. " Where did all these puppies come from?"

105. " Don't make me come over there myself! "

106. " That wasn't funny."

107. " This tastes horrible. "

108. " This is delicious! "

109. " Are you mad at me? "

110. " Stop ignoring me..."

111. " I love that show too! '

112. " Can I borrow that book of yours?"

113. " Lets blow this joint."

114. " Let me help you with that. "

115. " Take that back! "

116. " Wanna go see a movie with me? "

117. " No way, that's so lame. "

118. "What are you listening to? "

119. " I brought you your coffee."

120. " Don't fuck this up. "

121. " Run! "

122. " Lets run away together. "

123. " I haven't slept in four days..."

124. " Your turn to do the dishes. "

125. " Was I really that drunk? "

126. " Was I really that stoned? "

127. "Give me back my phone! "

128. " You're an asshole. "

129. " Are you cold? '

130. " This place gives me the creeps. "

131. " I swear my house is haunted. "

132. " Did you hear that? "

133. " It's just your imagination. "

134. " Just how stupid do you think I am? "

135. " Stop being such a baby."

136. " Go back to bed. "

137. " Are you okay? "

138. " I can take care of myself just fine."

139. " Thanks for helping me back there."

140. " Since when have we ever been friends? "

141. "What on earth are you wearing? "

142. " I can't feel my legs! "

143. " Stop texting me weird stuff so late at night. "

144. " Put me down! "

145. " There's only one bed..."

146. " It isn't what it looks like! Okay.. Maybe it is..

147. " How did Hoose it? "

148. " I read your diary."

149. " This is awkward. "

150. " Didn't you read the sign? "

151. " Do you think you can teach me that?”

Below are NSFW prompts.

Please if you're rebloggling tell your followers if you're interested or not in taking these sorts of requests.

Sexual:

152. " Bite me. "

153. " Make me."

154. " Fuck me. "

155. " Stop teasing me so much..."

156. " Do you like it when I touch you like that?'

157. " Okay.. This is new."

158. “Want to head back to my place and have a little fun?”

159. "You're in trouble now. "

160. " What a pretty sight. "

161. " Bend over. "

162. " On your knees. "

163. " The food looks great but.. There's something much more delicious i'd like to eat right now. "

164. " Lay back. "

165. " Take off your clothes. "

166. " Well, fine; just this once."

167. " I'm waiting."

168. " You're so beautiful. "

169.  “As you wish."

170. "First one to make a noise looses."

171. " You have no idea what you do to me. "

172. " If you're bored; Wanna have sex? "

173. " Ive wanted this for so long. "

174. "Car sex looks so much more easier in the movies. "

175. "Can I touch you? '

176. "Open up."

177. "No strings attached. "

178. " Already? Do I really have that much of an effect on you? '

179. " Mine."

180. " The nights still young. "

181. "We cant do that here! "

182. " Behave."

183. What did you just say? "

184. " Good girl. "

185. " Good boy. "

186. " Come here."

[firstdivisiongirl]

@sabo-has-my-heart asked:

Hey, you mentioned you're taking requests now but haven't gotten any, do I thought I'd send one in. 😉 I was hoping you could share some Ace and Sabo headcanons you have. Please and thank you. 

Hi friend! Thanks for the advice earlier and now this submission. I’m so happy that you turned in my first request. I don’t know if this is that good but, I hope it is. I love Ace and Sabo so much! They are in my top five favorite anime characters of all time!

Warnings: just a little angst; too much fluff

Word count: 698

Ace and Sabo Boyfriend Headcanons:

Sabo:

Would 100% put his top hat on you when you were upset or worried about him.  He’d think you were the cutest.

Lots of head pats if you are shorter than him.

And lots of hugs all the time

Lots of kisses too but usually not in public

He’s just one big softy for you.

I feel like he would be that boyfriend who would never get jealous.  Boys got confidence for days.

He would be so clueless at the start.  And probably go to Koala or Hack for advice.

After about maybe 6-7 times asking for advice, he’d try to do something romantic on his own.

It’d be a success and he’d come up with ideas on his own.

Then, he’s literally an expert on romance.  He would write a book on it!

Like with Luffy, EVERYONE would hear about you all the time.

They’d get sick of hearing about you but happy that Sabo is happy.

Rarely fight, but if you do, he will apologize first

Even if it’s not his fault

Even though he’s busy, he’d make time for you.  Especially for cuddling.

He’d be very protective.  If something seemed shady or dangerous, he’d keep you behind him so you know he will protect you no matter what

But he would let you have some time to yourself.  You know if you needed him he’d be there but he would let you hang out with friends or go places without him.

Probably keeps a picture of you with him for when he goes on missions.

It calms him down and helps him to remember why he is doing what he is doing.  It’s all to make a better world for you and everyone else.

Ace:

I love Ace so much.  My sister says if he was real he would most definitely be my soulmate.

He’s 100% a golden retriever boyfriend.  You can’t convince me otherwise.

He’d be your biggest fan! Like always there for you cheering you on and being there to talk whenever you need it.

Would talk to Whitebeard about you all the time, maybe even more than Luffy.

He would be protective even more than Sabo.  He knows what people like Blackbeard (if I said what I wanted to say about this one I’d be banned from tumblr) are capable of and feels like his whole world would fall apart if he lost you.

Would be with you 98% of the time

He would be the most jealous boy ever. 

Literally, you could be talking to a female friend and he would get all pouty and insecure.

He’d think he’s not good enough and you’ll leave him

Poor Ace 😔

But you assure him that you only love him and would never leave him.

He would literally engulf you in a bear hug or kiss you all over your face.

Marco would make fun of him so much.

Lots of hugs and kisses

Has a least one arm around you at all times

He’s not the best with romantic stuff like Sabo but he tries without getting advice.

Then Marco and Thatch have to clean up his messes.

After a while, they plan it and he just has to pretend he came up with the idea.

You know he is playing along, but you are happy that he’s trying to be the perfect boyfriend.

He would probably get a tattoo for you (this was actually Ace’s ideas and not Marco’s or Thatch’s).  Something you picked out for him probably.

He would most definitely be your personal human space heater.  You’d never be cold when he’s around.

We all know he’s a little stubborn, so if you got into a fight, he’d wouldn’t apologize if it was your fault at first.

Then he’d panic and think you were going to leave him and apologize.

Marco and Thatch would again make fun of him.

They will not let this boy live any of this down. They will forever make fun of him.

When he dies (I’m definitely crying now and so are you!  Unless your Blackbeard, then you can leave), he mentions you and thanks you for loving him.

Please do not copy, modify, translate, repost my writing on other platforms. Comments, reblogs or likes are highly appreciated!

[obl1vionblackhart]

Personal Space

Rhea Ripley x Gn!reader

Warnings: flirting ig? Idk really gay

Requested?: no lol

(Made the gif myself fr)

A/n: first imagine! Enjoy you simp bastards <3

“Alright! That’s a wrap” you sighed softly, quickly hugging Liv Morgan. You’d just wrapped up your first promo of the night with her, you felt more comfortable considering she was a close friend.

“Why where you so nervous? That was amazing!” The blonde squealed softly, a giggle following. You laughed at her bubbly nature, shrugging your shoulders.

“I don’t know! I love my job but.. it’s nerve wracking.” You started, before clapping your hands “I gotta run, enjoy your match! I’ll see you later” and with that, you sped walked to your next job… the judgment day.

You’d never dealt with them before, but by association, you didn’t like them after what Rhea did to Liv. You stood by the door hesitantly, before knocking softly as the camera followed your every move.

It was Dominik to answer the door, raising his eyebrows slightly. “Ah..” he mumbled, stepping to the side.

“96…97…” you heard an Irish accent calling out, you walked further into the room. You shouldn’t have enjoyed the sight you saw… but shamefully you did. There she was, Rhea Ripley- in all her glory. She was doing pull ups on a bar, Damian smirking slightly as he watched you stare.

“98…99…100!” Finn exclaimed, clapping a hand on her back. She let out a soft cackle, before turning to meet the new presence in the room. You let out a small breath as you locked eyes with the woman, her smirk only grew.

“Uh guys… good to see you” you started, trying to calm your own nerves. “Last week you defeated the OC and-“ . Rhea listened to you talk for a second, before deciding to have some fun of her own. “That’s such pretty makeup… can I take a closer look?” She stepped closer, lightly holding your chin. Damian let out a chuckle under his breath as your face turned beetroot red, only trying to step back.

“I- uh-“ you stuttered out, signalling the camera crew to cut the cameras as you backed away. “Yea… bye beautiful” Rhea smirked, blowing you a kiss as you exited the room. You kept walking, only stopping at a random corridor to collect your thoughts. You sat there for what felt like hours, your head snapping up at a familiar voice.

“I really got your flustered back there huh?” An Australian accent filled your ears, as Rhea walked forward.

“Maybe… why does it matter?” You groaned lightly, a small squeak leaving your lips as she tilted your chin up to look at her.

“It was cute… seeing you all flustered at how close we were” She mumbled into your ear. “Rhea…” you muttered, your mouth in a straight line.

“You know where to find me when you want to admit how badly you want me…” she smirked, kissing the top of your ear before walking off.

…. What the hell just happened?

A/n: Feedback is appreciated! Hope you enjoyed, requests are open!!!

[derpqueen22]

Joel fails miserably

Inspired by @your-daily-dose-of-caffeine's fanart

The winds picked up as Joel climbed higher and higher, threatening to push him over the edge any minute. 98….99….100. As he placed the last block. He took a moment to think about what he was about to do. He could hear the muffled yelling from his friends gathering down beneath him, Martyn was slowly climbing up the pole, ready to take a guess at his task. He could almost hear Grian’s protests to ‘be careful’. Joel knew Grian was anxious. Why was he scared again? It wasn’t like Grian’s the one up here. He shook his head, clearing any thoughts that would prevent him from completing his task. Joel needed this. It was almost like someone was watching him, not from below, but from above, egging him to jump. Egging him to fall. Egging him to DIE. Joel jumped. The wind grew stronger and stronger at each minute of his fall, whistling in his ear. He could feel the pressure of the atmosphere getting stronger. He fumbled to get his water bucket out of his inventory. Why didn’t I have it in my hand in the first place?! I’m such a blummin idiot.  I should’ve come prepared. I’m such a- Pain shot through his legs, his consciousness was fading, he could hear Grian’s anguished scream, the audience was in shock, He missed the water! I can’t believe he missed the water!  Someone..someone was laughing, laughing at him. He struggled to look up to find the culprit,  just to see a black figure with looming wings, all his eyes (eyes?) were filled with humour. The figure resembled someone he knew, someone he thought he could trust. “Grian?” Joel muttered. And then he passed out.

[im-out-of-it]

I think this is part five of season 1, episode 11. I’m sorry my memory is shit thanks to chronic illnesses!!!!!!! payment service completed ☑️

97. anyway, moving on to better things that are kinda sad

98. Magnus is basically begging Alec at this point to not get married

99. you really don’t Alec but we can get into this later smh

100. yeah, what is Magnus going to do with a bow and arrow?????

101. I can see why Alec is sad about giving his weapons away but it’s not like he doesn’t have more????????

102. can we also talk about how Magnus doesn’t hate Lydia????? he likes her as a person but he’s trying to reiterate how Alec isn’t in love with Lydia. how they’re all be lonely and don’t deserve that fate

103. I don’t think Magnus has ever returned payment

104. I think what makes this scene so memorable is the fact that Magnus isn’t angry because he understands why Alec is choosing to marry Lydia- she’s great, nice, traditional- like Alec but he’s trying to get through to Alec that he doesn’t have to live a lie with someone he doesn’t love.

and we also have to keep in mind that Alec is used to putting himself and his feelings last. everything he does is for his family and being a shadowhunter with the expectations of his family and the clave. so it is probable that a part of him doesn’t believe he can be in love while being a shadowhunter. he never believed this was in the cards for him so marrying Lydia seems to be the sensible choice for Alec. and it’s not like we have seen or heard of many gay shadowhunters. the clave is so prejudiced against their own people. Alec has so many expectations on him and he was never told or shown that he could be in love, be gay, and be a shadowhunter. even telling Magnus in season two how he didn’t think he could have what he wanted

also funny when Simon is like they’re brother and sister so they can’t????? well if you are CC and have an incest fetish, they can do whatever the hell they want. so glad the show changed this 👏🏼

well this turned out to be hella long but thank you so much for joining jace and clary are siblings and don’t understand not taking a villain for their word and Magnus is the greatest attorney and being you could have around you ✨ 104 was the number today!!!!!!!! y’all thought today was long, wait until episode 12 of MALEC 💓 I apologize in advance and appreciate anyone who takes the time to read my stupid thoughts 🫶🏼 now I’ll be crying and preparing myself for malecs first fight

MUST THEY QUARREL??????? it breaks my heart so much but see y’all soon. MALEC IS UP NEXT ✨🥰

[shiro-s2e2-erukinzu]

Anime only watchers and people who aren't caught up with the Manga, BEWARE... Cuz I'm about to discuss Spy X Family Mission 81... You have been warned...! 👌

[SPOILERS AHEAD FROM THIS POINT ON]

OH MY GOODNESS! 😱 THIS CHAPTER WAS SHORT BUT INTENSE!!

And my nerves are still getting to after reading it... So let's talk about it shall we...?

After some really cool action sequences, we are finally introduced to the mole...!!:

Winston Wheeler, a man from the Communication Division that made a very scary (but great) first impression on me...!! 😲 (And though I originally thought that the mole was gonna be someone that we already knew... After finding out that there was a translation error in the last chapter, I kinda just figured that the mole would be a new character after awhile... 🤷 I just didn't expect him to be this cool and yet, VERY FRIGHTENING to me...! 😅)

Moving on, one of our favorite agents without a proper name, Agent Mustache (as I like to call him) gives us the details about where Wheeler is meeting up with the SSS...:

Twilight is obviously quite determined to stop Wheeler (who he has worked with before) from giving that file to SSS; while on the other hand, Nightfall gives her two cents on the serious matter at hand...:

And oh boy, Twilight's response to Nightfall is CLEARLY giving me the vibe of saying without saying to her: "I'm not ready to leave MY MISSION FAMILY behind just yet...! So BACK OFF!!" 😡 (my interpretation, of course...! 😌)

After that, we see Yuri and the rest of the other SSS agents arrive at their destination:

And we learn that this mission was not signed off on:

We go back to WISE's agents and Agent Mustache gives everyone the rundown of what each one of them will be doing, including Twilight, who has to shall the SSS from meeting up with Wheeler...:

...But on the next page, we see that Wheeler has just gotten a phone call from a mystery person...:

I don't know who could be on that other line, but whoever it may be (the SSS, another mole from WISE, or even Garden possibly), it can't be good... 😥

After that, Wheeler is shown surveying the area on top of the roof before he heads down and meets up with Yuri:

And personally, as of right now, I don't I think that's Wheeler talking to Yuri... I think that that's Twilight...! 😤

Sure, the line about the green tie with the gemstone tiepin made me THINK that it's actually him, but what is Twilight's mission right now...: TO STALL THE SSS!! And we all know that Twilight is no slouch when it comes to disguises (unless it's to disguise Franky as a woman 😖), so I am 98 percent sure that Twilight is the one sending the SSS to the park!! (But, I'm still not 100% on it though...! 🤷)

And finally, after Agent Mustache and Nightfall notice that Wheeler hasn't shown up yet (making me believe EVEN MORE the Wheeler that talked to Yuri was Twilight), we see Wheeler meet up with this not-so-gentle man:

And that was Mission 81, and like said in the beginning... THIS CHAPTER WAS SUPER INTENSE!! 😱

Man, I don't know what else to say... This arc is already off to a great start, and I'm excited and a bit nervous to see what happens next...!! 😵 But for now, I feel like need I to take breather after this chapter today...!

As always, I'll see you all in the next mission!! Take care and be safe out there everyone...!! 😊 PEACE OUT Y'ALL!! ✌😙

[millionsknives]

yes, the plans that i could not share with you (because the haters would sabotage me) were that i was taking on LACC in my vash getup :)

i have so few pictures of myself but i got so many compliments (especially on my arm) and plenty of other people took pictures of me. and normally i don't like attention but i will be honest with u. under these circumstances i loved it. my arm held up really well through 8 hours on the convention floor and i have never been prouder of anything i've made. it's articulated incredibly well, no part of it gave out or required repair, it's never uncomfortable or a nuisance to wear, and i have enough range of motion to do relatively complex things like tying my shoes.

originally i was not planning to try to meet anyone famous because 1) it's expensive and 2) the lines are long and 3) i feel weird and annoying approaching literally anyone for any reason BUT. the spot where i met up with my sister just happened to be right next to johnny yong bosch's table. right when he started signing things. so i said LOL ok i'll do it.

it was super chill, i asked him how it felt to get the call that they wanted him to come back 20 years later for a trigun reboot and he said it almost didn't happen -- that since they recast everyone else for stampede they considered recasting vash as well (and i said WOW i'm so glad they didn't) and he said he really enjoyed getting to come back and explore a darker take (i forget if what he said was a darker take on vash's character, or just a darker trigun in general) but it was briefly surprising 2 me that he considered stampede to be a darker version but i get it, especially when u consider that there is not a lot of comedy in those 12 episodes to balance out the grief.

ANYWAY he was impressed with my arm and i asked him if he would sign my coat :) so he signed the lining but he was also like u know what, i'm gonna give you a second autograph just because. so he signed a print for me as well (free of charge!!) and the print with the blue signature matches my famous paintings that i always film in front of (that's providence baybee)

other stuff from the con under the cut

cosplay notes:

i saw 3 other vash cosplayers (a 98 vash, a stampede vash, and a purple coat vash) and no shade but i definitely had the best arm build. peace and love to all of them though

i saw 1 1/2 wolfwoods. 1 was the aforementioned mullet wolfwood from yesterday's post (ww if you’re out there ww) and the 1/2 was the 98 vash cosplayer’s gf in some kind of goth-ish dress and she was carrying a punisher

mullet wolfwood if you're out there i regret not getting a picture with you so much. i am deeply ashamed and i have no excuse because i ran into you twice and both times i was too embarrassed to ask for a picture. i just want you to know that your punisher was swag and your earrings were yolo and we would look very good together

i expected to see a lot more trigun tbh. los angeles where u at. 4 vashies at a convention of 120,000+ people is nothing. one guy even walked up to me like wow i love ur vash, i haven't seen a lot of trigun at this con and i was like I KNOW i thought i'd see a lot more

theeeee costume of all time award goes to the cad bane cosplayer i saw on the balcony. spare hand in marriage dude (gn) you looked so good

second place for costume of all time goes to the other mother cosplayer who had button eyes and these crazy finger appendages and never once broke character even while waiting in lines

i took 100 points of psychic damage from this one guy who (and im not kidding) was at least 6’4’’ and wearing platform boots and was dressed as the mfing onceler. with the stupid top hat he was fr 7+ feet tall (i saw him duck to get through a doorway).

someone was there as the brawny paper towel guy?? just walking around in a beard and flannel carrying a pack of paper towel rolls?? go off king

i saw 5 nightwing cosplayers but only 2 were biblically accurate (had ass)

the nanami sweep at this convention was so real u all SHOWED UP. and everybody ate. i saw at least 12 nanamis and not one of them was a flop.

i have never seen so many spider-mans in my life

other things:

fig. 1: this extremely hot captain america on a very large poster was about 2 make me act unwise. hi gorjus................................. nice eyebrows

fig 2: i saw this sign a couple blocks away from the con and i did a triple take. 🔥🔥🔥TRIMAX MENTIONED🔥🔥🔥

fig. 3: i saw all 4 hobbits in panel and can confirm elijah wood’s laugh is ten times more infectious in real life. before they were even done sitting down, dominic monaghan switched around all of their name cards so that none of them were seated behind the right name. as u might imagine much of the panel's content was reminiscing about LOTR, but i heard some stories that i hadn't heard before. they also talked about video games, other projects they are working/have worked on, how their kids feel about their dads' LOTR roles, how much they love ian mckellen, and how they would love to see something happen for the 20th anniversary of ROTK this year. sean astin (the legend) took shots at the stranger things writers (basically said joyce could never be happy with hopper) AND EVERYONE CLAPPED LOL. billy and dom talked about the best food in NZ, their show billy and dom eat the world, and the unfortunate events that led to the friendship onion's hiatus. it was a ton of fun to just watch them be themselves with each other, you can tell that these guys are all so fond of each other and love each other so much.

and finally, fig. 4: i bought these beautiful prints from @/batinyourbelfry and the skeletal washi tape from @/skeletalacademia (both on IG)

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

So the general idea of the story is pretty simple. Political lawfare weaponized in extremely illegal ways and in very unprecedented ways to put a Target on the back of a former president because he is a threat to the establishment powers.

The video explains this a lot better than I could. But I will attempt to give the short version and my thoughts. Something that drives me particularly insane is in a section of this video you have a bunch of leftist pundits calling Donald Trump a convicted felon. Except technically until sentencing you are not in fact a convicted felon. So for me legal standpoint that's incorrect. Sure, some people might view it as semantics but it's a necessary distinction. This trial was effectively a kangaroo court in an area that was D + 20 at the bare minimum with a judge that should have recused himself due to his daughter's interest in making money off of this case. Even before it began.

So what crime did Trump commit? Couldn't tell you. Because the prosecution and the judge left it up to the jury whether or not Trump committed a crime thus forth making the entire process rigged. Because rather than innocent until proven guilty by a jury of your peers, would we got is instead a jury of your enemies, galvanized and propagandized by their base, to find any potentiality for anything you could have done wrong whether it's been ruled on or otherwise. So when inevitably the case goes to appeal it will inevitably be appealed. Because in order to make the case against Trump they had to extend the statute of limitations and deem Trump guilty of a crime that he had not been found guilty on.

The judge gave three such potential crimes that they could use as a means to convict. Despite the fact that again, he had not been found guilty of any such crime. It is growing more and more apparent by the day, that the Democrats and a large chunk of people on the left are authoritarian tyrants who will stop at absolutely nothing to take hold of and maintain power. And inevitably when this kind of action sets a precedent, and it already has, the Democrats and their protégés better buckle up. Because I am going to enjoy watching all of them become "convicted felons". Except in their case they would be guilty of all the stuff that they are being charged with. And if I'm being 100% forthcoming, I would pay to see 98% of the Democrat party in jail. Not because I'm a Republican. Because they are a party that not only does not represent me, but are willing to participate in dictorial levels of meddling in the legal system.

This country cannot handle another 4 years of bidened and democrats. Because they are selling this country out and burning it down. And the voter base are so blind they can't even see it or be bothered to notice at all.