#he speaks the word like it powers through his concept of human dating or marriage

[brainrotcharacters]

I romanticize the werewolf mating bond a lot so imagine my delight when the non-werewolves say/infer "my mate"

I think it's a combined acceptance of culture and lifestyle, which since it's a big part of the wolves' lives, by association the non-wolves are accepting their partners too. This might be my specific flavor of intimacy that no amount of smut or corny lines can achieve.

[karanna1]

AU - Lena Luthor Saves Krypton

Lena is somehow sent back in time and finds herself on Krypton 30 years before the planet explodes. Kara doesn’t exist yet. Krypton has no idea what’s about to happen to them.

Lena realizes that with her knowledge of what’s to come and intellect to devise a solution, she can do two things. One, she can save an entire species from near extinction. Two, she can save Kara from ever having to experience the pain of losing her family, her home, and being abandoned. Kara could live a happy life and never know the burden of Supergirl or being the last daughter of Krypton.

So instead of trying to find a way back to Earth, back to her own time, she settles into life on Krypton, becomes fluent in Kryptonese, and sets about with a spectacularly single-minded focus of changing the future - to save this dying world (and Kara).

She succeeds...mostly. They can’t fix the damage that’s already been done to the planet. Their sun will die and destroy Krypton still, but with Lena’s help they’re able to locate a barren planet in another system that has a white star. It’s brand new, strong, and will live for untold trillions of years (provided Kryptonians didn’t try to harness its power again).

They terraform the planet and create “New Krypton” using the dome concept that Zor-El invented fused with Coluan bottling technology. All Kryptonians are instantly transported to their new home that’s identical to the old one save for one difference - the white sun grants them god-like powers that are beyond what Lena ever saw Kara and Clark capable of on Earth. Kryptonians are overwhelmed en masse by these powers. Some go power mad and attempt coups and form radical sects. Others realize the gift they’ve been given and, with Lena’s guidance, Kryptonian society develops under a new mission - to travel the galaxy and offer help to all those in need. Not just offering knowledge and technology this time, but themselves with their newfound powers.

Lena keeps her distance from the House of El as much as she can. It’s nearly impossible considering their standing with the Kryptonian High Council. Lena has to work very closely with the Council. Jor-El and his brother, Zor-El, are brilliant scientists and statesmen. Alura In-Ze is a rising star in the judicial system. Her marriage to Zor-El, second born son of the House of El, caused quite a few waves, but when Lara Lor-Van, a brilliant biologist and prominent noble of the House of Van, agrees to marry Jor-El, it’s all anyone can talk about. All 4 of them live very public lives due to their professions, their positions on the High Council, and their nobility.

They’re ever so fascinated by Lena Luthor, the human from Earth that appeared one day to save their entire planet. Their savior. The one their people have named “The New Dawn”. Lena wants nothing to do with the House of El. It’s too much. She can’t bear to be so close to Kara’s family without Kara. It feels wrong. Unfortunately, with how much Lena tries to avoid them, the 4 nobles think they’ve done something to offend her, and constantly attempt ways to make amends. It only makes Lena’s life that much more difficult.

But she still knows the exact date and time that Kara Zor-El steps into existence. Later, she will know the moment Kal-El is born (mostly because Lara’s natural birth is all anyone can talk about).

Lena meets Kara on New Krypton entirely by accident one day when Zor-El brings his brilliant young daughter, a prodigy in the Science Guild, to see Krypton’s finest laboratory entirely unannounced. The same laboratory that Lena founded and runs. She’s stricken, having tried to avoid this moment for as long as she could, knowing that eventually she’d have to see Kara as child, which would spell the end of every fanciful dream or slightest hope she had of a chance that someday she would find Kara, her best friend, again. Seeing the reality both warms her heart and breaks it all the same. This bouncing bundle of joy and inquisitiveness has the same blinding smile, in all its purity, with that same head of golden hair.

“You’re THE Lena Luthor?”

She kneels before her so they’re at eye level. “I suppose I am. And you’re THE Kara Zor-El?”

The ten year old gasps. “You know who I am?”

“Of course. I know all the important people. And you are a very important person, Kara.”

“I am?”

Zor-El interjects. “I’ve told Lena all about you, my dear. I’m sure she’s grown tired of my endless babbling about my wonderful daughter and her keen scientific mind.”

“Not at all,” Lena replies a bit flatly and tries to tune him out as she focuses on the young girl who will one day be a most extraordinary woman. “Do you enjoy the Science Guild, Kara?”

“Yes! I love to learn new things. As many things as I can! Sometimes father asks me to work with him in his laboratory at home and I help him with his projects!”

“That does sound like fun. I enjoy creating things as well.”

“You’re the most brilliant bio-engineer on Krypton! I’ve read all about you! You saved us.”

Lena shies away from the praise and instead fumbles her way forward, uncomfortable under the scrutiny of Zor-El, whom she’d never given the time of day until he walked in with his daughter.

“Tell me, Kara, do you like other subjects besides science?”

Kara fidgets, a little confused. “Well, I don’t...they don’t give you much time for other subjects. I-I do try to read about other things like art and history when I have free time, but I’m not really allowed—“

“She’s a hard worker and a wonderful student,” Zor-El interrupts again.

Lena ignores him. “Do you enjoy writing, Kara?”

“Writing?”

“Creation comes in many forms. I enjoy being able to create things with my hands. Machines. Technology. Things to help people. Science is my passion, but there are many other ways to help people. Ways that I’m not very good at, but others are. Writing takes a curious mind, creativity, and a way with words. I believe you might have a gift for that.”

“A gift for words?” Her little brow crinkles as she considers it.

Lena nods. “A writer can do a great many things that a scientist cannot. They are equally as powerful and important. What matters is doing what you love most, what inspires you most. You’re going to do great things one day, Kara. Maybe with the Science Guild, maybe with something else... The future is limitless for you.”

“You really think I could be that important someday?”

“You already are.” Lena smiles and breathes deeply. “Do you know what your name means where I come from?”

She shakes her head. “I have read about Earth. It’s very far away and my Aunt Astra says their civilization is primitive and filled with savages. They have my name there too?”

“Daughter, do not speak—“

Lena waves off Zor-El’s warning without looking at him.

“That’s not an unfair assessment of Earth compared to Krypton, but I do believe humanity would surprise a great many Kryptonians, including your Aunt. In my native language, Kara means ‘beloved friend’.”

Kara beams in a way that is so achingly familiar. It’s like an echo in Lena’s memory. Not exact, not complete, but the beginning of what it will become.

“I like that. Does that mean I’m your friend?”

Lena feels it in that moment. The melting warmth simultaneous with the absolute shattering of what was left of her heart.

“I will always be your friend, darling. Always.”

Kara leaves with her father and Lena’s coworkers are concerned when she goes off planet for an impromptu holiday without notice. She returns two months later and picks up as if she never left.

It’s around that time that one of the people she’s befriended in her years on Krypton remarks at how ageless she seems for a human that supposedly has a short life span. It sparks Lena’s curiosity. Indeed, it’s been nearly 30 years since she traveled back in time and found herself on a new planet. Yet you’d be hard pressed to find a single physical difference. Kryptonians aged slowly under a red star, and even slower still under the white star, but Lena was human. Her body wasn’t designed to accommodate solar radiation the way Kryptonians did. She was over 50 years old now, yet she still didn’t look a day over 28.

More years pass and New Krypton thrives. The galaxy is brought together through New Krypton’s diplomacy and thousands of planets and species are united under a banner of peace. There are always dissenters, but happiness and prosperity is widespread. Lena finds joy in friendships and attempts romantic relationships, but nothing ever really takes. Still, she’s content. She misses Earth, of course, and hopes to return one day before she dies, whenever that will be, but she’s found peace in knowing that she is able to be the one thing she’s always wanted - a force for good.

She’s at dinner with coworkers one night when Lara and Jor-El spot her. She sighs and straightens, preparing for their next attempt to get in her good graces.

“Do they never desist?” One of them mutters next to her ear. “Surely they’re intelligent enough to know when they’re not wanted?”

“Don’t be unkind, but help me keep it short if it goes on too long.”

“Lena! It’s wonderful to see you,” Lara says.

“You as well. How are you?”

“Very well, thank you.”

Lena’s table has gone conspicuously, and therefore awkwardly, silent.

Lara and Jor-El look around at the group uncomfortably.

“We were wondering...well, our niece is being inducted to the—“

“The Science Council as First Order,” Lena finishes for her. “Yes, I’m aware. It’s a great honor. I’m sure the House of El is quite proud.”

“Indeed we are,” Jor-El jumps in. “She’s a most remarkable young woman and we couldn’t be prouder of who she’s become.”

“We are holding a celebration to mark the occasion and were wondering if you might honor us by attending? It will be quite the event.” Lara does a slight eyeroll. “Jor is insisting on all the fantastical things.”

Jor-El nods enthusiastically. “My brother isn’t one for celebrations so I’ve taken up the mantle. Kara deserves all the praise she’s earned with her hard work and dedication.”

“You’ll have to forgive my mate’s enthusiasm. He’s quite invested in Kara since she can share his passion for his life’s work while our son is—“

“Disgustingly hopeless,” Jor-El grumbles.

“Oh?” She raises an eyebrow. “A great disappointment he’s been then?”

“Goodness no!” Lara shakes her head and shoots a warning look at her husband. “Kal is a fine boy. Just...a little lost.”

“Perhaps he is simply in need of a different path than the one his father has in mind,” Lena finds the words tumbling out of her mouth without thinking twice. The couple stares at her agape, but she continues without care. “I can certainly sympathize with the need to step out of the shadow of a family’s overbearing legacy.” She sighs. “While I thank you for considering me, it’s simply not possible with my days usually booked from dawn to dusk. Besides, parties have never been altogether pleasant endeavors for me.”

The disappointment on their faces isn’t what changes her mind. It’s that as soon as she says the words, she regrets it. She’s, of course, kept up with Kara’s doings and was concerned when she heard about the recent move in the Science Guild. Was journalism just a secondary passion since she couldn’t truly use her mind on Earth the way she could on Krypton? Or was this a woman just following in her family’s footsteps because she believed it was the right thing to do? Lena hadn’t seen or spoken to Kara in 16 years. Not since the day Zor-El brought her to the lab.

In the end, it’s Lena’s concern and curiosity for Kara’s well being that wins out. Though she very well knows that the woman that existed in another life, on another planet, is not the woman who lives here now on New Krypton. Even if she shared the same name and the same face...maybe even the same bright eyes and sunny smile. Even then.

“Send me the invitation. I’ll see what I can do,” Lena says, to the surprise of everyone at her table, including the two standing next to it.

They nod, stunned but pleased, and say their goodbyes quickly, walking away.

Lena’s coworkers all turn to her in surprise, but she refuses to answer their questions and excuses herself early for the evening.

She doesn’t show for the celebration. She torments herself for a week coming up to it and can’t bring herself to go. The fear of the past and her memories being trod upon are too strong. But somehow she finds herself in the Starling Grove anyway, just as it comes to an end. The evening is late and guests slowly make their exit after the long day of partying. Lena practically sneaks in, staying in shadows, not knowing what she hopes to find or what she could see that would make all her fears come true.

Is it any wonder that fate would intervene? That there would be no circumstance in which Lena could fly so close to the sun and not be touched?

“If avoiding people is your specialty, you’re very skilled at it.”

It’s almost terrifying to hear her voice again. It’s a different language being spoken, but the voice is the same. As if it’d been snatched from the deepest recesses of Lena’s memories, of a different life and a different world, and brought to the present in flesh and blood with a bolt of lightning.

She turns and it’s Kara smiling at her. Not the sunny smile. The soft, tender, reassuring one. The one that she used to share with Lena when she had one of her harder days. Kara was no longer the small and precocious child she met all those years ago, the one that she could almost convince herself was a complete stranger and that there was no connection between the child and the woman she knew. But that was gone now. The Kara standing before her was the same one she’d left behind on Earth. The one she’d given up in order to save her. The one who walked into her office so many years ago, trailing behind her cousin, and Lena knew she was done for. 

Her eyes were so blue as she looked at her...bluer than Lena remembered and it seemed so impossible. Perhaps it wasn’t real. Perhaps she was dreaming. But she wasn’t...was she?

“My skills must be rusty since you were able to catch me.”

Kara put a finger to her smiling lips. “Shh. Finding people is one of my untold gifts.”

“I imagine you have a lot of those.”

Kara looks pleasantly flustered and she stammers over her words in a way that Lena knows so well that the sound of it squeezes her heart in a vise like grip.

She’s not the same person. She’s not your Kara. Your Kara doesn’t exist anymore. Over and over she repeats this in her head.

“Wait...” Kara finally collects herself and peers at Lena more closely. “You’re-you’re Lena Luthor! My Uncle said you might be here, but I never thought...”

“On my home world, they like to say it’s fashionable to be late. However, tonight was just a tad bit too far. I...I simply wanted to stop by and wish you well. A-and to congratulate you on your achievement.”

Did she manage to say that with any passing conviction?

“Thank you. That means a great deal coming from someone like you.”

“Are you happy?” She blurts before her good sense can kick in. “This life...does it make you happy?”

Kara looks at her oddly for a long moment, clearly thrown, but not put off. Lena doesn’t know what else to say that could fix her blunder. 

“Yes,” she says, a serene smile creeps across her face. “I’m very happy. I love my family and my friends. I enjoy my work. I hope to have a family of my own one day, but I don’t mind waiting for the right person. Everyone always wants to rush me into something, telling me that I shouldn’t be alone, but I don’t mind it. When it’s right, I know that it will be worth the wait.”

Lena’s heart stutters and freezes. “I-I’m glad to hear that. Truly. I shouldn’t take up anymore of your time though. I’m sure you have somewhere to be and it’s late so I really should be going anyway.”

“Oh! Um. Yes, of course.” She looks disappointed, but Lena can’t think about that. “Thank you for being here.”

Her legs feel as though they’re weighted with cement as she walks away. Her mind screams at her to run, but her body doesn’t seem to get the message. She doesn’t want to leave Kara’s side. Not like this. Not after she’s found her again.

But it’s not her. Not really.

“My Lady?”

She turns around at once. Kara stands there, fiddling with her hands, her head tilted to the side.

“Apologies. I-I remember reading that you never liked that title. You prefer...what was it...” She closes her eyes as she searches for it. “Oh!” Her eyes fly open again. “Miss Luthor. I should have addressed you as ‘Miss Luthor’, yes?”

The ‘Miss’ was heavily accented and sounded nothing like how she used to say it, but it still tore Lena apart.

“I never forgot what you said.”

The voice in Lena’s head screams again for her to run, but instead she draws closer. She needs to hear it. 

Her Kara.

No, it’s not her.

“What did I say?”

“I was a little girl. My father brought me to your lab to show me around.”

“I remember.”

Don’t let her do this. Don’t let her pull you in again. You can’t. For both of your sakes, you can’t.

“You talked about different ways of creating. Of passion. It’s silly, I know, and I’m sure you say it to all the children who read about you in school and have a serious case of hero worship, but...you told me I was important.”

“You are.” 

It’s a reflex. She can’t help it.

“And you said that I had a gift for words. I never understood why you would say that. How you could know...”

Lena chuckles awkwardly. “Looks like I was off the mark since you’ve just joined the Science Council.”

“But you weren’t.”

Lena’s breath hitches.

“I’ve never told anyone else this...” 

Kara steps closer, sharing a secret that Lena doesn’t know she deserves to hear. She wonders if she still knows how to breathe with Kara being this close after so long...so many years gone... 

“I started writing that day. That very night I went home and I tried it. I never stopped. I’ve never been happier than when I’m writing. Imagining stories or just writing my thoughts, putting memories into words, keeping a record of each day and what I’ve done, who I’ve seen, what my first thought is in the morning and my last thought at night. All of it.”

Kara was so close. She could smell her. Nothing like what she remembered. It was something altogether new and still...still... Lena’s heart beat so loudly, she was sure every Kryptonian within miles was wondering what that raucous drumming noise was. What must Kara think? Surely she could hear it. Lena was embarrassing herself.

“You inspired me.”

Lena doesn’t know how she manages it, but she somehow strings together coherent words. 

“But you continued to pursue...”

“The Science Guild, yes. I’m very good there. It comes easily. It makes my family proud.”

“It’s not your passion though.”

Kara shakes her head gently.

“What stops you?”

“Well, what if I’m not really good at writing after all? I’ve never told anyone about it. I’ve never let them read anything... What if I make a terrible mistake and humiliate myself and my family?”

“Following your heart isn’t a mistake.”

“That’s not a very Kryptonian sentiment.”

“No, but it is a human one.” Lena sighs. “I tried so hard, for so long, not to listen to mine. But it won out every time. Despite all the pain it brought me...I remind myself that it’s what brought me here. To this planet. To this time. To do good. To be good. Following your heart is the most terrifying notion, but in my experience, it has also led me to the greatest moments of joy and love that I’ve ever known.”

Kara stares at her in wonderment. Her long blonde locks flow over her shoulders. Her dress is white and flowing, almost luminescent under the glow of the evening flowers blooming in the garden. It became quickly apparent how very alone they were, the last guests and servers from the party were gone. The torches were still lit, but it was their own world.

Wasn’t it always?

It’s not her.

“I don’t think I could be as brave as you.”

“You have always been brave and I know that you are capable of the most extraordinary amount of courage...courage and boundless hope. You are the one who inspires me, Kara. You always have.”

“Me?” She replies in the softest utterance. “But I haven’t done anything nearly as incredible as you.”

“The kind of person you are is far more important than any sum of career achievements. Don’t let fear make you hide in the shadows, Kara. Step into the sun. You’ve always belonged there.”

“What about you?”

“Me?”

“When will you step out of the shadows, Miss Luthor?”

A voice calls for Kara in the distance. It’s jarring and breaks the spell that seemed to lock them together in time suspended.

They step away, now acutely aware of how close they’d been this whole time.

Kara blushes and opens her mouth to say something, but Lena can’t bear to hear it.

“Goodnight, Kara Zor-El. I hope you enjoyed your party.”

Another voice joins the first. Two people are calling for her now. Kara seems frustrated and turns back, yelling to them that she’d be there soon.

She turns back. “I—“

But Lena’s gone.

She leaves New Krypton again. Journeys to other planets under the guise of a holiday and scientific exploration. She wonders if now is the time to return to Earth. She can’t even call it home anymore, but it’s home...isn’t it? 45 years could be enough to make New Krypton home and maybe it was. Maybe it was more of a home than Earth. But New Krypton had spectres walking among the living. Lena’s past had caught up to her here as well. She was no longer alone. Would Earth be any better with a reminder at every street corner? A certain smell. A park bench. A pair of glasses. Food. All of the food on Earth. She would never truly escape there either. It has to be a different planet. Not New Krypton, not Earth, something else entirely. 

She searches across galaxies for it. Finally, one appeals to her. She can see herself settling down there. She can make a new life for herself...again. She returns to Krypton with determination. She resigns from her position, ignores the High Council’s pleas, ignores their more pointed demands, and even their attempted orders when it appeared that nothing else was working. She packs her things and bids farewell to her friends. They’ll visit now and again, but soon she won’t be seeing them at all. It doesn’t bother her all that much. She’d find replacements eventually. No one had ever been like... Well, she’d never let anyone get close enough to try.

She was walking out of her building for the last time, her luggage already sent ahead, and was headed to the transport when she heard her voice again on the wind, calling her name. Of course she would hear her now. This was exactly why she needed to leave this place. The sooner the better to end this torment.

The transport doors were nearly closed when a hand shot between them. The metal alloys were crushed in a powerful grip and the doors were jerkily pried open again.

Kara stood in front of her. Her hair windswept, almost what it used to look like when she would fly to Lena at breaking speed to rescue her. Did she fly here? Was she really here?

“Kara?”

“Lena, don’t go.”

“What are y—?”

“That’s government property!” someone shouts at Kara from further away. 

A Kelex zooms in beside her. “And you were flying within city limits which is strictly prohibited. Unfortunately, Lady Kara, this means we must place you under arrest.”

A patrolman, the one who shouted, walks up behind Kara, nodding his head in agreement.

“Arrest?” She rolls her eyes at the Kelex and turns to the patrolman. “The doors were an accident and sorry about the flying thing. I’ll pay the fines. I doubt Alura In-Ze will take kindly to you dragging someone in for petty infarctions, let alone that someone being her daughter.”

Lena finds herself walking out of the transport, entirely of her own volition, and watches it leave without her. Kara is arguing with the patrolman over what her fines should be, but suddenly Lena feels someone take her hand. She looks down and sees that indeed there is another hand holding hers. She drags her gaze up to find those blue eyes again. A ghost. A spectre. Everything she was trying to escape.

“I’m sorry to just...burst in on you like this. But you’ve been gone for months and I only just heard that you’d come back, planning to leave New Krypton for good. I didn’t...”

“You didn’t what?”

“I don’t know.” Her brow furrows in frustration. “I didn’t plan this. I just...when I heard, I felt like I had to stop you.”

Lena pulls her hand away and crosses her arms. She needs to get ahold of herself. This was all so out of control.

“Why?”

Kara is just as bewildered as she is. “Well, I...I’m not sure. But we’ve only just started.”

“What?”

“Don’t you feel it? I know you must.”

She swallows thickly. “Kara, I...”

“I think there’s a lot you haven’t told me. A lot that I hope you will tell me. You promised me once that you would always be my friend. Please, Lena. We both know that this...it’s not supposed to end here.”

“When is it supposed to end?”

“I hope not for very long time.”

“I’ve lived a lifetime already.”

Kara grins. “Then what’s one more? Should be easy if you’ve already done it.”

Lena shakes her head. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Somehow I do...and I don’t. I know it’s strange. I know what I sound like. But I think you understand. Don’t you?”

“Kara...”

“Are you hungry?” She interrupts. “I’m famished. The flying thing is really fun, but I always get so hungry after. How about it?”

“I’m supposed to be boarding a ship in 20 minutes.”

“We can eat fast!”

“I know you can eat fast, that’s not the point,” she mutters. “I have to go.”

“But you see? You say things like that. Like it’s normal to just know these things about me, but it’s not. How do you know? We’ve only met twice and both times it feels as though you know everything about me.”

“Everything?” She scoffs. “No. Never.”

“Well, the important things anyway.”

Lena falters.

“Please? Just...for a little while? There’s always another ship if you really must go.”

No.

No, I’ve been through this before. I saved you. I saved your people. You’re happy. I don’t belong here. I’ve never belonged. This is your world. I don’t belong anywhere. I did what was right. I helped people. I still help people. But I won’t do this again.

“I’m pretty sure you know that a Kryptonian can tell when you’re lying. The white star brought us untold abilities. And the longer I’ve lived here, under this new sun, I’ve discovered more abilities. Would you like to know about them?”

Lena can only stare.

“If I’m close enough...and I concentrate hard enough...I can feel what you’re feeling. It’s not mind reading exactly, but something deeper. I can feel you right now.” She swallows hard. “What have I done to cause you such pain, Lena? I never thought that... If you have to go, I won’t stop you. I just thought...” She sighs defeatedly. “I don’t know what I thought. But it wasn’t this. It wasn’t pain. Or anger. Or betrayal.”

Lena’s eyes widen at the same time as Kara’s. She seemed to realize it only as she spoke the word aloud.

“Betrayal?” Kara whispers, half to herself. “I don’t understand.”

“There’s nothing to understand.”

“You’re lying.”

“Stop it.”

“I can’t! Tell me what’s happening. How can you be so angry with me, but also feel...like this...when we don’t even know each other?”

“But we do.” 

At last she admits it. 

In the quietest whisper. 

“We did. Once. In another life.”

Kara nods slowly. “Where?”

“On Earth.”

“I’ve never been to Earth.”

“Not in this time. But in another...you were Earth’s Champion. Our Protector. The Paragon of Hope.”

“As you are the Protector of Krypton? Our Salvation. The New Dawn.”

Lena shrinks uncomfortably under the titles.

“Will you tell me more?”

“You believe me?”

“Of course I do. You’re Lena Luthor. Also, with my powers I can sense you’re telling the truth, so...” She shrugs lightly at that, a sheepish smile.

“Right. Well, I admit I’m still a bit resentful that after everything I’ve been through, I still didn’t get even a hint of those powers.”

Kara takes her hand again, tentatively this time. She probably thinks Lena will pull away.

She doesn’t.

“There’s been a rumor for ages that you’re immortal. Are you saying that’s not true? From what I’ve read, humans have a shorter life span than us. Your species only live about 85 years or so.”

“I’ve heard the rumor and, yes, the average human lifespan is shorter than a Kryptonian’s.”

“You look pretty darn good for your age if you’re preparing to join Rao in a few cycles.”

Lena has to laugh. She lets Kara lead her away from the platform and down to the street. They walk hand in hand.

“So you’re not immortal?”

“It remains to be seen.”

“Then maybe our white sun did give you a hint of something after all.”

“Maybe. I have yet to ascertain the cause.”

“I could help you with your study, should you choose to explore it further.”

“You want to study me?”

Kara blushes. “I...I didn’t mean it like that. I only meant—“

“I know what you meant.”

Silence falls between them.

“You’re still holding my hand.”

“You’re still letting me.”

“It’s strange.” She stares. “You’re different. You’re so different than you were before, a completely different person, but somehow...when I look at you, you’re exactly who you’ve always been.”

“Are you different now too?”

“Yes.” She shrugs. “I think so anyway.”

“But we’ve still found each other. That means something.”

“Are you sure you want to hear this? You might be angry with me. I...I made choices that changed your life. A great number of lives.”

“I want to hear everything. But even if I do get angry, I won’t leave. I promise.”

Lena starts at that. How could she know exactly—? The realization hits her. 

“My fears...you feel them right now, don’t you?”

Kara nods. “I won’t betray you, Lena. Whatever mistakes I’ve made before...in that other life...I won’t make them again.”

“You’ll make other mistakes.”

“Of course!” She laughs. “I’m gifted, but hardly perfect. You’ll make mistakes too, even if you are the Great New Dawn.”

“Two prodigies...” Lena raises an eyebrow. “I don’t know how people stand us. We must be insufferable to be around.”

“I can’t be held accountable for the jealousy of others.”

Lena chuckles. “Good to know you’re as competitive as ever.”

“And you? Are you competitive as well?”

“On occasion...when it comes to the right things.”

Kara grins. “Tell me more about Earth.”

“Earth or...you on Earth?”

“Both. Or just one. Whatever you like. We have all the time we need. We’ll get to it eventually.”

“Kara?”

“Yes?”

“What do you want?”

“You.”

“How do you know that?”

“I just do.”

“You’re not afraid?”

“Of losing you? Yes, I’m afraid. I thought I did when you left me in the Grove that night.”

“It’s different this time though.”

“Different how?”

“You were afraid before. O-on Earth. So you lied to me. Hid things from me. You were afraid I’d reject you.”

“So I lost you anyway?”

“For a while.”

“I know who I am and I want to share all of that with you. I’m afraid I’ll lose you if I don’t. Do you think that means I learned my lesson with a second chance?”

“Even though you don’t remember the first?”

Kara tilts her head thoughtfully.  “Are you familiar with the theological concept of reincarnation?”

Lena nods.

“Many species and cultures detail it differently, but the belief that a soul does not reside in an afterlife fascinates me. The idea that one could instead be reborn and is destined to learn new lessons with each life that it failed to learn in the last. Maybe we found a way to do that without needing to die at all.”

“Are you sure you’re the First Order of the Science Council? Because that sounds an awful lot like preaching I’ve heard from the Religious Guild. You’re in the wrong profession.”

Kara rolls her eyes. “If anything, I should have joined the Artisans. But it’s too late for that.”

Lena’s quiet for a moment. They’re walking along streets she’s never seen before and doesn’t care. It doesn’t matter.

“I think I’m learning...” she says softly, “that it’s never too late. If you want something enough, it’s never too late.”

“I hope you’re right.”

Lena looks around. “Do you know where you’re going?”

“No, I thought you did.”

“No. I guess we’re lost then.”

Kara shrugs with a charming, sunny smile that lights her whole face. It’s the one that Lena hasn’t seen in over 40 years and it takes her breath away.

“Oh well.” Kara squeezes Lena’s hand happily. “I suppose we’ll find our way together.”

[mmmonie]

I have obey me brain rot and I physically cannot take it anymore so here are some random HCS I fucking busted out about demons under the read more (and some angel stuff thrown in. For fun. Spice is the variety of life or whatever) I formatted this on mobile so forgive me for my crimes pls..... 😔

Also as an fyi I have never written anything in my life <3 (and also I’m dyslexic) so if something sounds stupid I’m sorry lol <3 also I’m sure u can tell but I never know where to put commas so if that bothers u........sorry again lol

*There are (at least) two demonic languages: one is a bit like Latin albeit way more fucked up. The second one is spoken only. A human can learn to understand both but the second one requires a lot of concentration to discern due to the subtlety in the growls, clicks and other noises demons are capable of making. It’s also very dependent on body language, especially in demonic form.

*It would be nearly impossible for a human to be fluent in the second one because of that. (unless you’re like. A really good mimic?)

* the second one is the oldest language. The new language and it’s written counterpart are derived from it with a little twist, so you’ll still hear some interesting noises thrown in there. It would take some dedication to learn, though the written part is fairly easy once you get the hang of it. It was made to be read quickly and efficiently. The speaking part however...................good luck.

* Demons and angels can instantly pick up human languages including reading and writing. Wouldn’t do you much good to be summoned in like. Germany and not know the language LOL

* Demons purr LOL you can’t click and growl and NOT purr. Like cats, it is both a happy thing and a self soothing thing.

* There is a slight difference between a happy purr and a self soothing purr, but the difference depends entirely on the demon.

* Demons (and angels) are nearly impossible to kill. It’s also very hard to damage them in any meaningful way. They also heal very quickly, so even if you did get a good hit on one, if they managed to get away chances are they’d heal in a matter of hours.

* Stronger demons like the brothers are even MORE impervious to damage. The amount of times Beel’s reached into the oven barehanded just to pop a piping hot cookie in his mouth is insane. He swears it’s the best way to eat them.

* Angels are very stiff but very physically powerful. They have a lot of control over their bodies and are trained from a young age to be able to wield that power responsibly.

* Demons on the other hand are incredibly flexible and bounce back easily. Though your average demon might not be the same physical strength as an angel, they have agility on their side. Angels are heavy hitters where demons rely on their ability to strike multiple times very quickly.

* This was a very weird transition for the brothers, though the amount of strength they had barely changed between realms. Fallen angels don’t change that much strength wise, but a little bit is burned up in the fall (to protect themselves.)

* Angels may be strong but demons also posses a massive amount of strength and have to learn to control it over time. This is known as a “juvenile phase” but it happens at different ages depending on how they were born. Fallen angels do not go through this as they have already learned to keep a grip on their power. Do I have an entire separate post ready about this bc I just couldn’t shut up? Maybe...

* There are four ways of being “born” a demon. Fallen angels, half demons, human borns and natural demons.

* Humans can choose to be turned into demons, but it is a very painful process and they won’t be able to gain any strength, what they get is what the get. They are referred to as “human born” and were considered the lowest of the humanoid demons until Diavolo came into power.

* Human born used to just be made whenever by whoever but that caused problems. Demons would make human borns and then just leave them to flounder about by themselves in an unknown territory. Diavolo’s father put an end to that during his reign, but “accidents” still happen. Now you have to do paperwork if you want to turn your human friend/lover into a demon lol.

* The ceremony for turning humans into demons is incredibly complex, which is why banning making human born unless given permission is less of a problem than you’d think.

* Half demons are just that, they’re only half demon. Most are half human but there are a few other kinds of magical creatures mixed in there. They aren’t as strong as a natural demon nor a fallen angel but they can gain power through their other ancestry. Many of them specialize in unique kinds of magic.

* Half human/demon children aren’t as rare as you’d think they are. This is due to the fact that demons have all sorts of ways to keep a demonic baby alive. Ranging from shapeshifting and (magically) taking the baby themselves once it’s grown enough to handle the transition to various forms of potions and spells to help a human along.

* Half demons and natural demons have the luxury of being born already (mostly) acclimated to the devildom, making some of the transitions that come with a demons lifespan easier on them than human born and fallen angels.

* Angels are taught to control/ignore their instincts where demons are taught to rely on/embrace theirs. Because demonic instincts often work against the things taught in the celestial realm fallen angels have a hard time adjusting to their new environment. Though, as their sins overtake them, their instincts become easier to fall back on.

* Demons have multiple forms, not just the two shown in game. All in all, the brothers have 5, each becoming less and less humanoid.

* Half/human born demons are more likely to have both a tail and wings in their first demonic form. Stronger demons like the brothers are merely showing off the strongest of the two, but everyone has both. (Bc I think they slap LOL *points* u get a tail and wings! *u get a tail and wings*)

* •a demons features can be influenced by what sin they are, but it’s not a hard or fast rule. Don’t be surprised if a demon who looks more akin to Mammon is actually a Sloth demon.***this does not apply to little Ds who’s look is entirely dependent on their sin. Little Ds are an entirely separate conversation 😈

* human borns/half demons can have two sins assigned to them, though this makes them less powerful in both. Usually there is a more prominent sin.

* Diavolo’s rule has helped quite a bit with bringing humans into a new better light, and many natural born demons who haven’t been able to interact with the human realm have become increasingly curious about humans and the way they work. Much of this is due to media that was brought from the human world to sedate Dia’s intense curiosity.

* In the eyes of many older demons, humans are merely playthings and it is expected that most demons will eventually mate with at least one other demon. A human and a demon dating is seen as just infatuation on the demons part, and it’s often thought that there are no real feelings behind a relationship like that. However there have been/are many successful and happy human/demon relationships.

* Demons don’t really have a concept of marriage. They live so long there really isn’t a point to tying yourself to one single person (or a few people) However, that’s not to say that there aren’t relationships like that. There are binding ceremonies for expressing love and devotion to other beings and it has its own unique culture.

* though the gates to the human realm are still technically closed and have been for a long time, demons can still be summoned by witches (sorcerers, wizards, warlocks, whatever you call yourself.) They can also be successfully summoned if you are not a magic user, however this is rare and often can go wrong, much like horror movies.

* Summoning very powerful demons like the brothers is incredibly hard even for an extremely experienced magic user, so often the demon you get claiming to be Satan really isn’t LOL. There are demons who are actually assigned to go to summonings in the place of the seven lords of hell, but many demons will just take on the role to fuck around with whomever summoned them. You think a prince of hell has time to just go possess some object or person for fun? (Ok...Mammon Satan and Belphie might.......if they’re bored enough LOL)

* Demons are actually relatively cuddly creatures. They might be a little rough with strangers but base instincts with family members will always be to coddle rather than fight. They’re more like humans in that right.

* Angels don’t do much casual touching, they’re very uptight. Beel and Belphie being as close as they are was a bit of an oddity in the celestial realm. That’s not to say angels don’t need causal touch lol just that they were trained to avoid that “temptation”.

* the brothers had a hard time starting out in the Devildom because of this. They still have a hard time with casual touches, which is why they seem so touched starved with the MC.

Things I might elaborate on later:

* There is a difference between demons, incubi and succubi but it’s not what you think it is.

* Demons, angels and humans all have very different takes on gender.

* The juvenile phase (DO not tempt me I wrote out like 1000 words about it bc I couldn’t shut the fuck up)

* Animals in the Devildom are fucked up. I WILL fucking talk about this bc it’s my passion.

* Pacts and how they work..........

* Maybe I’ll also elaborate on the hierarchy/power structure of demons sometimes 

[blossom-hwa]

hi! i really liked your sungyoon fanfiction, light the pyres—apocalypse aus are great. very nervous to ask for your 4th anniv event but could i perhaps get kang yeosang + the title "3 of hearts?" (if anyone reading here knows what show it's from ily!)

hi love! light the pyres is actually one of the works I'm most proud of so it makes me so happy to hear that you liked it! thank you for your request - I'm not sure what 3 of hearts it from lol (maybe one of my followers does), but I hope you still enjoy this!

4 year anniversary drabble game: send me a Stray Kids/The Boyz/Golden Child/Ateez member + a prompt (check out the post for ideas) and I’ll write a drabble for you!

I guess this could be seen as a sort of spinoff of Kingdom (read the series here) - I haven’t posted the next parts yet, but this takes place in the Queendom of Hearts, which is where Checkmate is set :D like Kingdom, it’s heavily inspired by Marissa Meyer’s book “Heartless” - the story of a queen who went mad over love >:)

Uh so TXT Yeonjun is technically here but please don’t take my characterization of him as anything even close to who he is irl.... just think of it as me taking just his name and slapping it on a character I made I’m sorry

~

Title: Three of Hearts

Pairing: Yeosang x gender neutral!reader

Word count: 1.6k

Triggers: mentions of blood and death (semi-graphic)

~

They said you were born under the three of hearts, a spell of kind fortune, a card of good omen. "Your child will be beautiful," the diviner said when she placed you in your mother's arms. "They will love deeply, and in return, they will be loved greatly."

It was a blessed birth for the Kingdom of Hearts, whose rulers, though loved, had not been able to secure an heir for many years. Already the conception of a child was a miracle - to have you born under such an auspicious card only heightened the excitement, cast even more light on a day already filled with laughter and joy. Your parents showered you with love, and as the years passed, you grew in blissful happiness, surrounded by those who adored you. And truly, it seemed you were the three of hearts personified - for with you were two boys, Yeosang and Yeonjun, your best friends, who followed you everywhere you went. 

It was inevitable, then, people whispered, that at least two of you would fall in love. 

At the age of six, seven, ten, even twelve, you could ignore this. You could play the innocent card that came so easily to those born under the three of hearts, bat your eyes and cock your head and ask “What do you mean?” in reply to the questions people asked - do you have a crush? I’m sure you do. It must be on one of the boys you’re always running around with, yes? But as you grew older and the question of to whom you would extend your hand in marriage became increasingly important, your eyes began to fixate on soft blond hair and warm brown eyes, smile widening in the presence of a deep, gentle voice accompanied by the loveliest sparkle in his eyes. 

The traits of a certain best friend and heir to the Kang family fortune. 

He offers a courtship under the flowering wisteria tree just under your window, pale cheeks tinted with blush as he stutters his way through a short confession. Your heart warms, lifts, bursts with joy as you accept with a smiling nod, rejoicing that you have found a match who will love you as much as you love him. Three of hearts, you think giddily - I will be loved as much as I give it.

The stages of courtship seem to pass by all too slowly and at the same time, all too quickly. Caught up in a whirl of fine clothes and presents and ceremonies, you fall asleep every night eager to wake at dawn, if only to see Yeosang’s face the next day. Every moment with him seems too short, and every moment with him feels too long. 

One afternoon under the wisteria tree, you complain of this. Yeosang laughs at your indignation, though when you go to hit his shoulder, he catches your fingers with soft, warm hands, before kissing your forehead gently. “It will be all right,” he murmurs, pulling away just enough for you to see the sparkle in his eyes. “We’ll have a lifetime together, after this.”

A lifetime. Born under the three of hearts, destined for a life of love and happiness, you believed it. 

So much, in fact, that you forget to watch out for the second best friend at your side. 

It never occurred to you to take caution with Yeonjun. He was your best friend. Even upon the announcement of your engagement, he only ever smiled and congratulated the two of you, knocking your heads together teasingly when you got too mushy for his taste. Yeosang even asked him to be one of the groomsmen when the wedding date was set. 

So you never notice the way Yeonjun’s gaze always lingers on you a little too long, the way his eyes darken whenever you place a chaste kiss on Yeosang’s lips. You do notice that he spends more and more time away from you, away from Yeosang as the wedding approaches, but it’s easy to put it down to affairs of the Choi family that you simply aren’t privy to. Perhaps something has gone wrong. Yeonjun would tell you about it in due time, wouldn’t he?

On the night before your wedding, you and Yeosang dance together under a sea of sparkling stars, white engagement outfits shimmering under the night sky. The people cheer. Your parents wipe away tears. You almost cry, too, wrapped in the warmth of Yeosang’s arms around your waist, his eyes smiling into yours. 

You part ways with promises of tomorrow and a lifetime hanging on your lips. When you finally fall asleep, it is to dreams of a beautiful future, complete with Yeosang by your side. 

Instead, you wake up in a world where he is dead.

They say the servant who found the body went mad afterward. You don’t blame them. When you saw the body covered in its rips and stains of red, it felt like a part of your mind simply disappeared. Scrambled. Something. All you could see was the body splashed with blood, unseeing eyes wide open and glassed with the sheen of death. 

And there’s no time to grieve, either, because the next day, the Choi family storms the castle with shouts of a coup and rebellion on their lips. 

All you can do is stare into Yeonjun’s stony expression as he orders the execution of your parents right before your eyes. 

He finds you in your rooms a week later, a beautiful prison of silk and satin that they took away so you wouldn’t hang yourself before he came. His eyes soften upon seeing you, but when he reaches out a hand, you slap it away. 

Only one word leaves your lips. “Why?”

Love, he says. Love for you. Love that burned fierce, hot, so unlike the soft warmth of Yeosang’s hand, love that burned so bright it couldn’t stand to fall second to the gentleness of Yeosang’s smile. His heart burned for you, beat for you, enough to plan all of this, enough to ask, even now - 

“Will you marry me?”

The wisteria tree outside your window is in full bloom under a bright, cloudless sky. A mockery of the day Yeosang asked for your hand and you gave him your heart. 

In the absence of blades and bullets, no one should underestimate the power that fingernails can do to raw skin and bone.

“You worthless, worthless human being,” you snarl, even as guards drag you back from Yeonjun’s bleeding face. “Worthless - worthless - I will never marry you -”

“You will,” Yeonjun snarls back, now a safe distance away from the blood caking your nails. “You will or you will die.”

You don’t die. You almost do, jamming the lock on your door and smashing the fortified window with a superhuman strength you believe Yeosang and your parents have lent you for one night, just one night before leaping into the branches of the wisteria tree, crashing to the ground in a heap of branches and flowers and glass. They nearly catch you - an arrow pierces your shoulder and another streaks so close it almost cuts off your ear - but you escape. And hide. For days, weeks, months...

Until you return with a sword and murder in your eyes, slashing through every guard on your way into the castle until you come across Yeonjun sitting upon your father’s throne, the crown of your family on his head. 

“Would you?” he whispers, the tip of your sword positioned over his heart. “Would you, truly?”

A blank smile curves your lips. “Of course,” you whisper. “Just the same way you would.”

They crown you queen with triumph in their eyes, songs of a royal who avenger their lover’s death when a jealous suitor got in the way. You listen to it with stony eyes and teeth gritted behind your lips, especially when they speak of the three of hearts, blessed above all, destined for a life of love -

There is no love left in your heart that wasn’t taken away with the death of Yeosang and your family.

You execute the Chois. You execute their allies. You root through the kingdom, imprisoning those with even a semblance of a relationship to the man who killed your love, who took the blessing of your card away. The songs die away, replaced by whispers of a queen gone mad with the loss of their love. Triumphant shouts of a blessed three of hearts turn into murmurs of a curse, a new meaning to your card - perhaps not one destined for love, but one whose life will end in tragedy. Pain. Suffering.

They are wrong. Your life was full of love, love that you gave on your own and love that was given by those around you. It was the cause of your happiness and the reason for your suffering - love killed Yeosang and your family, just as it killed the last bit of humanity in you. 

The words of the diviner mock your grief. 

“Your child will be beautiful.”

Not as beautiful as he ever was. 

“They will love deeply.”

Where did that get you? 

“And in return, they will be loved greatly.”

Where did that get him?

No longer do they speak of the three of hearts as a blessing, as a sign of blissful omen. Instead, they speak of it as a curse, a curse of love, a curse of madness, a curse of tragedy to follow at every bend. 

Good. They’re right.

The love that the heavens wrought never brought anything more than pain, anyway.

[burnedbyshoto]

reincarnation

— Five chances to fall in love. Five reincarnations to find the person you’re destined to be with. It just so happens that in each life you keep meeting a man with brown hair and a sweet involvement of primroses —

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pairing: kaibara sen x fem!reader

warnings: soulmate au!, reincarnation au!, royalty au!, fake dating au!, college au!, villain!kaibara au!, fluff, angst, cursing, alcohol consumption

word count: 11,820

a/n: this is for the bnharem flower server collab!!!! check out the masterlist here, its pretty dope as fuck!!!! also I know dat none yall know who he is because we sleep on class 1-b, but i worked so hard on this and I wrote it in a single day, and its 4 am rn and im exhausted so pretty please help a girl out and just read it ;-; I also tried out a new... voice??? idk how to even explain dis, but yes huzzah!!!! kaibara sen rights!!!!

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The world is a fantastic place.

And to my beautiful reader, know that this is a world where soulmates exist. A world where someone is created flawlessly for you is someone who holds you to the highest symbol, who carries you through the most significant highs and lowest lows without a whine or grievance. 

A soulmate is destined to be yours, but sadly they are hidden within the world. 

My dearest reader, you only have five chances to figure out who your soulmate is. Five reincarnations to figure out who the one who is meant for you. Lucky for most humans, soulmates are found within the first two reincarnation cycles but heed this warning.

At the end of you and your soulmates twenty-first year, you must find each other and fall in love. Should you fail to find and love your soulmate, you’re put into another reincarnation to try again. Each attempt is marked on your wrist, a Roman numeral to indicate whether you have succeeded or failed. You will carry the rest of that reincarnation unable to ever see your soulmate ever again, but when the tattoo changes colors, you know the person you love is the one for you.

Good luck, my dearest reader, this is a challenging journey, but I know that you will do well.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆ i ⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen someone on their first reincarnation!”

Your eyes looked up to the handmaiden, who was currently helping you dress for the ball tonight. You were to wear a heavy dress of silks and satin sitting prettily on your body, the detail exquisite, the meaning behind each embroidered flower astonishing. 

You knew that the importance of your appearance was paramount as the daughter of a duke and duchess. You could very much be a future Queen consort considering that the royal families were dried of ladies. This was to be a ball in your name, a moment for courting, and arrangements to be made. 

At the age of eighteen, it was much later than other people would have expected it to be, after all, most balls such as these were to be done in the sixteenth year, definitely not the eighteenth. Two years truly made a difference.

But to your parent’s advantage, it would mean that by tonight you would most likely be engaged to some man you had been educated on years before. 

Glancing down at the small Roman Numeral I on your wrist, you smiled, nodding your head. Around this area of the world, most people already seemed to be on their second and third reincarnation. For all that was good, your parents themselves were on their third and second reincarnation. They weren’t soulmates but figured a life of leisure and power was better than a life of love since they had more chances.

“I know that I am the only one on my first reincarnation cycle around here,” you sighed, your manicured finger tracing the innard of your wrist. The red ink was strong against your skin, so strongly procuring against your skin, a statement of your isolation from your soulmate. 

Long ago, you had learned about soulmates, you remembered the warm light that held you in your earliest memories that explained the concept, and you further learned more as you grew. A near 75% of the population encountered and fell in love with their soulmate on their first reincarnation. Of course, once you fell in love and lived happily ever after, that was it for you, or so that’s what everyone claimed as there had been no true love gold ink gracing anyone’s wrists on their second or so on reincarnation. 

You were a bit of a romantic, keening in the thought of having someone perfect for you. Inexplicably yours, impossibly perfect for you.

You often wondered if you had already met your soulmate, but the barring symbol of no one else having a roman numeral one on their wrists made you realize it was no one you already knew.

“Mrs. Lane?” you spoke, your fingers twisting into the silk undergarments you wore.

Your hair was done already, the makeup sitting beautifully on your skin. But there was an undeniable fear in your eyes when you brushed over the mirror before you. 

“Yes, Your Grace?”

“Have you met your soulmate already?” you asked, your stomach twisting in the thought of what may happen tonight. Could you really handle maybe passing a handsome gentleman or a beautiful woman with a Roman numeral one on their wrist and resist not immediately believing it was your soulmate?

“I have,” she nodded, exposing her slender wrist to you, the gold Roman Numeral II shining beautifully in your gaze. “He works in the palace, actually. Why do you ask, Your Grace?”

A soft smile graced your face at the sight of the golden ink. For too long, you had only seen it within your literature. Never once having been exposed to it in your world that was heavily plagued with those who cared more about politics than love. 

“It just occurred to me that I had never once asked if you had,” you smiled, your fingers letting go of your tightly held undergarments. “But let us carry on, my guests should be expecting me soon.”

~

Balls were glamorous and needless to say, quite fun.

The music was lively, the food was exquisite, and the people were merry and handsome as they danced around the floor. Most balls you attend always leave you rosy-cheeked with both alcohol in your blood and from the rounds of dancing you would participate in, but tonight was different. 

Your cheeks were rosy with exhaustion, hours of being twirled along the dancefloor, terribly bleak conversations going on between you and a hopeful courter, and the refusal of alcohol from your parent’s behalf. They wouldn’t have you messing up their only chance of seeing you married to the Prince, who was duller than a rock. 

Your feet hurt with the unforgiving throb of the tight heels you had to wear, and in this moment of peace, you wanted to cry when you watched two men come to approach the table where you sat between your parents.

“Your Grace,” the older man bowed lowly, his most likely son bowing as well.

“Duke Kaibara, what do we owe this pleasure?” your father spoke clearly and eloquently, the smile on his face charming, but you knew better. 

He didn’t want a marriage of equal status — especially not when the Kaibara family was known for their war abilities, which were meaningless in a time of peace.

“My son wishes to have a dance with your own daughter,” Duke Kaibara spoke with a transparent lie painted on his face.

Attempting not to scoff, you glanced over at the man who stood beside the Duke.

He was reasonably tall, his stature befitting of someone of his class and quite honestly much better than the Royal Highness himself. Unruly dark brown hair that you could tell immediately had his servants in a craze to put into the slicked-back style it was attempted to be in, the few strands falling into his eyes, making him more comfortable to look at. His eyes were as black as midnight, shining bleakly yet with stern sharpness to it that had you questioning his stoic aura. 

The black of his suit was also adorned with pops of gold and royal blue, definitely a commander.

“Y/n would love to accompany him for a dance,” your mother spoke, her hand pressing against the back of your dress, lifting you up to stand before you could even think of protesting.

“I’m glad,” the Duke laughed heartily, and you sighed quietly.

With your hand pressing into his own, both of you walked in silence to the dance floor. 

The song began, one that involved more one on one time and less prancing with everyone on the dancefloor, and you were unsure whether you appreciated that at all. On the one hand, it would have saved you the horror of having his smoldering eyes everywhere on you, but it also meant you two could waltz around without a care.

“I don’t care to marry you,” he spoke suddenly, catching you off guard immediately. “As a matter of fact, I had no desire to come to your ball.”

“Well, that’s a bit rude to say,” you splutter, your fingers digging into his shoulder while you nearly stumbled in your box step. “There was no need to tell me that!”

“My father thinks that because we are both in our first reincarnation, it will give some leeway into having our union, but he is too much of a romantic.”

“And just who are you exactly, Your Grace? I know of your surname, but if you are going to be speaking to me so brashly, I have the right to your birth name.”

As the two of you spun against the floor, the throb in your feet ignored; his eyes came down to meet yours in a piercing gaze. Was he shocked by your lack of submission?

“Sen,” he spoke, his lips pursing. “Sen of House Kaibara.”

“Well, Sen, you are incredibly rude!” you flustered, smoothly moving with him with the sudden pick up of speed in the music. “Even if you are not here for my hand, the least you could do is pretend!”

“You looked like someone who appreciated honesty, Your Grace,” there’s a glint in his eyes. Something you can’t quite pin or understand, but it sends your stomach into a loop at the way his lip quirks with his words, and how his eyes narrow almost as if in teasing.

“Oh, I definitely am, but even that was too honest for our first conversation,” you bite back, your long ruined lipstick-stained lips pulling into a smile. “Have you never been around a lady before? You should really be paying attention to your etiquette classes, Sen.”

“Are you really lecturing me on my etiquette while calling me Sen?” he asked, his jaw-dropping just the slightest in disbelief, using a heavy hand on your waist to pull you in and twirl you out of the way of a drunken pair of dancers. “I think it might be you who needs to be paying attention, Your Grace. Especially if you are defying my every word and not turning into a submissive rock at my commands.”

“It is a woman’s job to make sure a man knows their place,” you snickered, twirling with the beat of the song. “I am simply doing that.”

Kaibara’s mouth opened, words almost daring to pour out, but alas, the song was over.

The two of you parted, bowing to one another while the other dancers did the same while everyone cheered and rejoiced in their ability to dance to this song.

“Would you like to go on a walk with me?” Kaibara asked, his hand reaching out towards you. 

“I don’t care to walk with you,” you breezed, quickly repeating his first words to you ever. “But I assume it will be better than returning to the table to be sold off.”

Although Kaibara’s stoic face had long remelted over his face, you couldn’t deny the glint of amusement in his eyes at your words. With yet another outstretched hand, you took it, and off the two of you went. Away from the party and into the cold night.

The both of you wandered aimlessly through the gardens of your estate, the hedge labyrinth being something you went through with him under his predictions as you already knew the answer to this puzzle. 

You felt at ease with Kaibara, the initial belligerence of his personality seemingly disappearing the more you talked with him. He was still quite aggressive, his words clear, loud, and intentional with each speech he made. But you found yourself enjoying it more and more, especially after the two of you bonded over the spinning fountain in the royal palace. 

“Do you like flowers?” he asked when the two of you sat against a stone bench.

“Depends,” you hum, placing a finger on your chin. “I am less than thrilled with flowers with thorns. Do you have any idea how many idiot men have given my flowers with thorns in them?”

“I will assume a lot?”

“Three! That is three too many!”

Kaibara laughed merrily, his hand running through his gelled unruly hair, while his head dipped back to stare at the sky. 

“I’ve only gifted someone a flower once, and I did not go according to plan.”

Your eyebrows scrunched, you studied the man who stared up at the sky in a way that looked like he would fight the gods themselves should they appear. The soft glow of the halls barely reached this side of the garden, but with the help of the heavenly moon, you saw him clearly. He was a stranger, you knew that, but there was something about him that called for you, pleading you to learn more about him — everything about him.

“What was the plan?” you asked softly, your bare foot hitting his leather-clad shoe with a pointed toe. He had helped you take off your shoes the moment you entered the garden.

“Well, we were the same age, as you and I are,” Kaibara nodded, his hands pressing to the bench behind him as he shifted his weight to lean on his hands. “As I spoke earlier, my dad was a romantic, and embarrassingly enough, I was too at one point…”

He trailed off, and your head tilted, you felt like you knew where he was going with this.

“I offered the girl I loved a red rose, but she told me that we would be wrong together. She was on her second incarnation, and I was on my first, so there was no way we could be destined for one another,” Kaibara confessed, his tongue wetting his lips while he shrugged. 

“That is quite unfortunate,” you frown, your gaze dropping to your hands. 

“It was.”

The two of you fell into a tense silence, your mind unable to procure any form of thought to ease the tension between the two of you. But you looked up and saw a bush of white primroses before you. With a surge of confidence, you stood up and took a single primrose from the bush. Returning to Kaibara’s side, you placed the primrose in his hands.

“You may not appreciate this primrose, but our estate is known for the primrose, it's a trademark of my family. You may not have found your soulmate yet, Your Grace, but when you do, they will be amazed to call you theirs.”

Kaibara’s hold on the white flower was delicate, his fingers twirling the stem between his fingers while he sat there. A soft chuckle escaped his lips, and he nodded, his eyes warming up while he locked eyes on you.

“You’re a bit weird, you know that y/n.”

“Only those I trust know that,” you winked, further delighting in the way that a crooked grin sat on his face.

Unfortunately for you after that night, you would never have one like that again. The arrangement to marry His Royal Highness was set, and you would never see Kaibara again after your wedlock to the Prince that happened on your twenty-first year alive — not that the two of you realized that.

You long after passed away.

You lived a happy life, a full life, but the thoughts of his Grace Duke Kaibara Sen always plagued your mind no matter what you did. How you wished that he was to be reborn too so that you could possibly meet him once again.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆ ii ⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

“Sen, leave my primroses alone!”

“I just can’t believe you still have these?!”

Your face was abnormally warm while you stared at your childhood friend Kaibara who was currently walking around your entire room, deliberately, and horribly going through your personal belongings. He was in workout clothes, black gym shorts, and a grey t-shirt under a yellow windbreaker; the sight of him so comfortable in your room made you a bit more embarrassed. 

The two of you had been friends for forever! Your parents were best friends and soulmates, so they figured that both of you would be soulmates. While it had been a cute and innocent thought when the two of you were young, it wasn’t so nice with the two of you nearing twenty-one and with no actual relationship in sight. How your parents found each other on their first attempt was beyond you, especially since you had the exact ii marked on your wrist.

But the worst part of your parents trying to convince both of you that you were soulmates was the thought that the two of you had once sort of dated. It had happened in secret, after all, both of you agreed should your parents find out it would equate to some block party celebration — which both of you didn’t want.

Still, the two of you were only sixteen when it happened, and while it could have happened that the two of you were meant for one another considering, you shared the same birth year and were on the exact reincarnation it didn’t work out. You loved Kaibara, you indeed did, but the romantic feelings between the two of you quickly burned out. Thankfully, it hadn’t made anything genuinely awkward between the two of you, and your parents never knew!

Win-win!

But the first memory you ever had of Kaibara and you, it involved a primrose. It was spring, and he had found a bush full of them, and with his chubby baby hands, he had picked them out for you and gave it to you. You had loved it, and it seemed to become an unspoken tradition between you and him.

Every significant moment between your lives, he would always give you a primrose, even when they were out of season. 

The last time he had given you a primrose was when both of you graduated high school and went onto college. He had gone to a different one from you, and it was like facing death itself when you no longer saw him in your classes. Nowadays, the two of you only saw each other during breaks and the occasional facetime.

So in the middle of summer break, he was over in your room after a run — judging everything you were saving apparently.

“I should destroy these flowers; they’re not supposed to be kept like this,” Kaibara sighed, the stems of the dried and pressed flowers so brittle between his fingers. He looked back down at the box he had found, his free hand stretching out towards your storming figure to keep you at bay. “Damn, y/l/n, did you really keep every single primrose I ever gave you?!”

“It’s sentimental, asshole!” you cried in embarrassment, your hands trying to grab the box that indeed held every primrose he had given you with a tag that had the day you got it and why.

“How have I known you my entire life and still not know this about you?” Kaibara grinned, his knees bent, and ass jutting out to keep you from nearing too close.

“I’m going to kill you!” you sobbed, your fists beating into his back while he simply continued on.

“I haven’t seen you face to face in months, and you’re going to kill me? You’re sort of the worst best friend ever,” Kaibara admitted, finally relenting and letting go of the box and leaving your possessions alone. 

You quickly covered the box, grateful that he hadn’t destroyed anything, and sighed when you put the box back in your bookshelf. Out of sight, out of mind for now.

“I do have a favor to ask of you,” Kaibara admits, your bed groaning quietly under his weight while he sat on your bed. Your face immediately questioned his motives; you knew your best friend probably better than he knew himself, and you knew that there was no bliss in having him say those words to you. All your life, his favors had nearly landed you in the hospital after all.

“And what favor is this?” you asked, your arms crossing while you looked at him with your eyebrow raised. “Am I going to have to go egg your highschool rivals' house again? Oh! Am I going to tell your girlfriend to not be intimidated by me anymore?”

Kaibara’s grin melted away, a stoic and unnerved face glaring back at you. Being best friends with someone like him was not a good thing at times like this, it seemed.

“Then I’ll go ask Ami for help then,” he spoke without a hint of mercy, his hands pressing onto his lap to stand up.

“Wait, no, Sen! I was joking! Please don’t do this to me!” you whined, shoving him back down onto his bed so that he was sitting there with a still expressionless face, but his eyes gave him away. “Anyone but stupid, Ami!”

“Well, if you don’t want to help me, I’m not going to waste my time trying to convince you,” he pointed out with a slow blink.

How he got under your nerves sometimes.

“What do you want then?” you grumble, sitting down on the bed beside him, your arms folded and a pout on your lips. 

“I need you to be my date on top of pretending to be my girlfriend,” Kaibara replied immediately, his eyes resting on you with ease and grace. You looked ready to question everything he was saying, so he moved on to explain. “My parents were invited to a wedding, and I need to win a bet.”

“What kind of fucking bets are you making that it involves having a girlfriend? I thought you were anti-soulmates?” you question, your gaze unamused while your dark-haired friend raked his fingers through his spiky hair. 

“Okay, first of all, I just found your creepy primrose collection, so I know you’re still in love with me, but I’m going to need you to back off —” he dodged a punch you aimed for his shoulder— “But the bet was made because no one thought I could get a girl like you.”

“You can’t get a girl like me.”

“I already have, hello?”

You grinned at his look of discontent at your statement, but you finally sighed, your head coming to lean on his shoulder. You smiled, feeling his head resting upon yours, and a silent agreement was exchanged through this pose. 

“When’s the wedding?” you ask, your eyes closing at the gentle rolling heat emitting from his body.

“This Friday.”

“The theme?”

“Summer? I don’t fucking know.”

“How long have we been dating?”

“Seven months.”

“Oh, so detailed,” you softly sigh, eventually laughing when his fingers twisted the skin on your shoulder. “Do you still kiss like a twelve-year-old boy?”

“No,” he groaned, his hand covering his face. “We shouldn’t have to kiss anyways.”

You laugh more, your shoulder pressing into his a few times while you bite your lower lip, “I’m just making sure we cover all the bases.”

“Yeah sure,” he sighed, holding your hand in his. “Thank you for agreeing.”

“I’m going to look hot as fuck, and I expect to make sure that everyone at this wedding is starstruck by me.”

“I’m sure they will be.”

~

The apples of your cheeks burned from all the fake smiling you had done while exchanging hellos with the other guests you had never seen in your life at this wedding. It was the wedding for Kaibara’s boss, which explained why your parents were not here today — most parties had both your families in attendance after all.

“When Sen told us that the two of you were finally dating, I think I actually cried,” his mother told you, her hands grabbing yours when you sat beside her. As part of the favor, Kaibara had asked you to run most of the crowd control just because he was horrible at keeping things… not hostile. “Your parents told me that they didn’t know either!”

You laughed, your gaze flashing over to Kaibara, who was in the middle of a conversation with the guests who were sitting at his left. A coworker, it seemed, and if you knew any better, a coworker he liked just based on his body language.

“Yeah, it just sorta happened over a call?” you squawk unsure of how to handle this best. “I guess it helped that we’ve known each other for so long!”

She nodded her head, her eyes swimming with mirth and love while she sighed happily. 

“I can’t wait until it’s your wedding with Kaibara!”

With a nod of agreement, you were almost too excited when plates of food were distributed to you all. For the remainder of the dinner, you and Kaibara put up a solid front, the both of you falling into old habits of once being lovers to pull off this scam. It was the gentle whispers between the two of you, the silent exchanges, and the physical actions of your relationship that seemed to tie the story together.

“Y/n?” Kaibara’s female coworker spoke to you in the middle of a joking argument between you and Kaibara. You paused mid-rant, your head dipping towards the table so you could see her past Kaibara’s chest. 

“Yes?”

“Do you mind coming to grab some dessert?”

With no reason to say no, you nodded your head, a smile gracing your figure.

The two of you went over to the esteemed dessert table. Piles upon piles of sweets and goodies sat on the table that called your name while you skimmed around with his coworker.

“I’m Kimi, by the way,” she introduced herself when you zeroed in on a brownie.

“Nice to meet you!” you smiled, the name further confirming the fact that she was the one that Kaibara liked.

“Likewise,” she smiled, bringing a Rice Krispy treat to her plate. “Um, Sen told me about the bet, I know that it’s all fake.”

Your eyebrows raised, you hadn’t known that much.

“Don’t worry! I’m not spilling! This is a bet against Tsurabara, and I want him to lose anyways,” she quickly interrupted, her hand rubbing the back of her neck. “You two looked ready to start a big fight, so I thought it was best to get you out.”

A burst of soft laughter bubbled in your throat while you nodded, “Oh yeah, it’s okay! I’ve known Kaibara since we were in our mom’s bellies, this isn’t anything!”

Kimi’s eyes blinked rapidly, her eyes casting to the side in some sort of inferior action that you knew almost too well as the best friend of a handsome boy. “He likes you too,” you whispered, winking at her before walking back to the table to provide your fake-boyfriend and his parents with their favorite desserts.

But as you returned to the table, you were stopped when Kaibara stood up, his face set in a soft scowl, and his stare a mile away.

“Please go and dance with our son, y/n!” his father asked with sincere hope in his voice. “The two of you have been entertaining us this entire time, please go have fun!”

You wanted to say that it was fine, but it seemed in the three minutes that you had gone, Kaibara had been made to do this. He grabbed the plate of desserts in your hand, dropping them onto the table and led you out to the dance floor where everyone was gathered.

And as a slow dance came through, a weird sense of deja vu overcame you when he held you close. 

“I haven’t danced with you in years,” you mused when your wrists rested onto his shoulders, his hands warm on your waist. 

“And that’s my fault?” Kaibara asked, his eyebrows raised in amusement and annoyance.

“For sure,” you sighed your gaze stubbornly on his. “If you didn’t let me go to all those high school dances with a date that wasn’t you, I wouldn’t have this problem.”

“You’re a brat, you know that?”

“You say brat, but I prefer the term… aware of my worth.”

“You’re as equal in value as my pinky toe is.”

And even though there was never an awkward moment in your relationship with Kaibara, there was this melting that occurred between the two of you. Something invisible that melted away between the two of you while you swayed side to side while in his arms. Your head rested on his shoulder, and he lay on your head. A peaceful silence while you danced in time, a perfect movement between the two of you while the music seemed to fade away.

“I’m going to kiss you, okay?” he whispered in your left ear.

There was a weird yet pleasurable shiver that traveled down your spine with his hot breath against your ear. You liked it, but that still didn’t stop the twist in your stomach when you pulled away. His eyes were dark and serious, so very much Kaibara Sen it seemed.

“Okay.”

His lips met yours in a soft embrace. The smoothness of his lips softly parted between yours, dancing in different ways from your swaying bodies, and much more fulfilling than any other kiss you had ever shared with him before. Your fingers locked in the back of his hair, and he drew shapes into your back.

Kiss after kiss was exchanged between the two of you on this dance floor, each sequential kiss blazing your heart brighter and brighter until you realized that your heart was hammering disgustingly loud in your ears when he finally pulled away for the last time. You didn’t think that this favor would have landed you in the hospital, but with the way your heart failed to stop drumming violently throughout your body after the many kisses the two of you shared that day, it was hard to say that he didn’t. 

But after that day, you came to realize that you still liked Kaibara, but he didn’t feel the same way. You cut off contact with him when he started dating Kimi, and the two of you last saw each other Christmas on your twenty-first year alive. He was happy and in love, and you quietly sat with your head in the storm clouds.

After that… you never saw him again, which made you think that made your parents have been right about the two of you being soulmates. 

But you had to move on for this reincarnation, it seemed.

You lived, loved, married, and died.

The box of primroses he had given you your most prized possession until the day you peacefully passed away.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆ iii ⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

“Can I please get a black roast coffee... in the biggest size you have,” you sniffle, your eyes red, fingers dabbing a tissue at the falling tears on your face.

“Uh, that’ll be seven hundred yen,” the man with the name tag Kaibara S. spoke.

You handed him the cents in your hand and waited for your receipt.

“This is only five hundred,” Kaibara slowly stated, and it seemed to push you over the edge because you began to bawl.

Primrose Coffeeshop was the only coffee shop that had discounts for broke college students such as yourself nearby, so it was the place you went to practically every day. So it was to no surprise to workers such as Kaibara to see that you were finally breaking down.

The world blurred in the time he told you that it was okay to not have the adequate amount since you were always buying things from the store, to someone quite literally leading you back to your mountain of textbooks and laptop, and the coffee coming out and being placed at your table. Through your tear drowned eyes, you looked at the assignment you had to write.

Twenty pages of research for something you didn’t understand at all. 

“Are you okay?” a voice interrupted the hiccuping snuffled sobs that continued to pour from your mouth.

With a tear-streaked face, a wet nose, and blotchy skin, you looked at the dark brown haired barista who seemed to have gotten off of his own shift. His apron rested on his forearm, his hair still pushed back with the hairband that sat on his face, and his clothes were plain and simple. His face was pretty stoic to look at. Given the apparent discomfort in his eyes, he must have taken a lot to ask you this.

“N-No!” you sobbed, your lips trying to keep shut to stop the self-proclaimed horrible sobs that still tried to pour from your mouth.

“What’s… uh… what’s wrong?”

“My whole life is falling apart!” you laugh humorlessly, your hands slapping the coffee table with a pathetic sniffle. “I-I’m on my third reincarnation, and the statistics of finding your soulmate this late in the cycle have plummeted dramatically! My thesis for my p-paper isn’t viable anymore because I didn’t c-contact my professor on time. So I h-had to make a new one… I don’t even know!”

Kaibara remained silent, unsure if he should stay or leave. He had only asked because his coworker had been weirdly worried for you, and well… he did too, but this was a bit too much for him. Why couldn’t you have just said you were alright?!

“That… sucks, I’m sorry.”

You let out a choked sob, the veins in your face bulging in your attempt to just… stay quiet.

Kaibara stared at you, pity and concern seeping into his bones the longer he looked. With a sharp sigh, he pulled the chair out and sat down. “How can I help?”

Somehow from this one interaction, a weird comradery began between you and the barista you had ordered from for two years. 

In the span of an hour, he had helped you calm down, calmly instructing and aiding you in your academic endeavor to understand what you were doing. It was a paper for a stupid physics class you were forced to take, and thankfully Kaibara was a physics student himself. 

Kaibara introduced you to some reliable papers, explaining to you the things you didn’t understand in very perceptive depth and understanding that you didn’t get from your own professor. An hour into talking and you realized that you were no longer crying, your coffee went drunk to completion, and you were smiling while he pointed to different things on your screen.

“I’m y/l/n y/n,” you finally introduced yourself when he was standing to leave. 

“I know,” he nodded, a soft smile on his face. “You have been ordering from me with that name for two years now.”

“Well, it wasn’t ever an introduction, though,” you pointed out with a sigh. “Besides, this is much more official.”

He nodded in agreement, his hand pulling off the headband in his hair, letting his shaggy hair fall onto his eyes. “I’m Kaibara Sen, and I know you didn’t know my first name.”

“I did not,” you agree, your head bowing in both thanks.

He seemed to debate something in his head, teetering between telling you and not, but with a tilt of your head, and a lean towards him, he broke.

“I’m in here a lot, I don’t know if you’ve noticed? I work fulltime on top of going to school and guessing by the professor’s name, you also attend Tokyo University,” Kaibara said, his eyes locked onto yours. “If you want, I can help you out for the rest of the semester with physics. I know that it can be a hard class.”

“Are… are you serious?!” you gasp, your hands pressing to your mouth in undeniable joy and mirth.

“Completely.”

“I’d appreciate that so much!” you chirped, your body resisting the urge to hug him in your gratitude. 

“Okay, that’s good,” he nodded, his feet already moving towards the exit.

You watched as he walked to the door, but noticed that he hesitated when he reached the door.

Wordlessly he lifted up his left arm and showed off a tattoo.

iii

“I’m also on my third reincarnation,” he admitted with a shrug, and the embarrassing memory of your breakdown hit you heavily over the head while your face grew red hot. “It’s totally okay if you haven’t met your soulmate yet, that’s why we have multiple shots, right?”

You were for a loss of words, only managing to nod your head in stunned embarrassment. Kaibara smiled, his face genuinely pleased while he pushed onto the front door.

“Then, I’ll see you later, y/l/n.”

Like that, a friendship was born between you and the cute barista.

Without even this new tutoring system between the two of you, you had always shown up at the coffee shop every day, but now it was put at specific times — typically taking in mind his shift and class schedule. Day in and day out, he would help you out with physics, teaching you about work and joules and energy, and you, in turn, would buy lots of coffee and pastries and even helped him with his own work that wasn’t physics related.

You came to know more about Kaibara too.

About how he was born the same year you were, or how the both of you were a bit scared about the fact that you were on your third reincarnation. You both would even make up extremely extravagant stories of your past lives. Of how you were royalty and the smartest geniuses alive who had created the items you had used to this very day. 

Jokes of knowing Newton and Plato and Shakespeare never failed to make the both of you smile during moments where you weren’t worrying about your academia. 

Kaibara Sen was someone you could come to see could be very special in your life. His often neutral and stoic personality quickly melted away to become invigorating and chaotically loud. He was someone you would very much appreciate to be friends with, no matter what class you could have met him in or timeline you met him in.

“How do you feel about this year?” 

Your words were soft in the empty coffee shop, the warm sweater you wore snug on your body while you drank a new concoction Kaibara made for a future menu item.  It was something sweet, not overwhelmingly so, just enough that made it pleasant to drink without milk or sugar — not that you didn’t mind a cup of black coffee every once in a while.

“I’d rather not make it to a fourth reincarnation,” you heard Kaibara admit, from beside you, his face buried in the notes he was rewriting during your studying session. “This seems like a good time frame to have things end with the person I’m meant to be with. Nothing crazy is happening, it’s calm… I like that.”

“You have no sense of adventure Sen!” you laugh, your hands bringing the coffee cup to the table and writing down your thoughts and rating for the drink onto the yellow paper he had given to you for an official review. “I think I’m going to push it to reincarnation number five, I want to see the flying cars and moving cities.”

“I’m not sure if that sounds horrible or like a nightmare,” he dryly stated, flipping his notebook for the next significant section to write on.

“Don’t be rude,” you huff, your pen scratching out the mistake you made with a frown. “I mean, I wouldn’t remember anything, but it would still be nice!”

“And just who do you think your soulmate is?” Kaibara asked, his pencil dropping on his notes while he shook his sore and tired wrist out. He looked at you with a crooked grin that made you smile back, and he leaned in to whisper, “I can imagine that you’ve pictured what they look like.”

“How’d you know?!” you ask in mock surprise, your hand pressing to your mouth in a dramatic effect.

“You look the type,” he snickered, leaning back against his chair. “Okay, what does a lover boy look like, and what does lover girl look like?”

“Okay, so ideally, a male soulmate will look like a supermodel. Like the kind that just drives girls and older women wild because goddamn is he fine,” you whistle, your tongue wetting your lips in an attempt to mask your humor from this.

“Yes, I can see you with someone like that too,” Kaibara sagely nodded his head, his fingers now grasping the pencil in his hand. “Now, the other?”

“If it’s a girl… I don’t care, just as long as she’s super tall,” you sigh wistfully, your smile growing when Kaibara seems to agree with this information.

“You are ready to meet your soulmate, I’ve decided,” Kaibara announced his pencil scratching his paper as he began to write again.

“Oh thank you, kami-sama, please reveal to me the name of my betrothed.” 

“I will, under one circumstance, and one circumstance only.”

The smile that spread on your face was warm, your eyes looking at how his lips were curled into his own smile that he often enjoyed hiding from you.

“What must a mere stupid mortal like me do?”

Kaibara finished writing his section of the notes before pulling away, his eyes severe while they peered at you. Dark, serious, and very, very intense.

He often confused you; he was so dark and brooding at times but often melted into someone you could only describe as a twelve-year-old boy finding out that his parents installed his favorite game to whatever console he loved most. His eyes, despite their deep charcoal color, seemed to melt into warm chocolate the longer he held your gaze, and finally, he spoke:

“Go on a date with me?”

Your eyes blinked rapidly, and a sour feeling erupted in your chest at his words.

Oh no.

“I… I can’t,” you spoke, your eyes traveling to your lap, the previous warmth in your chest disappearing quicker than the speed of light.

Kaibara blinked, his jaw opening and closing repetitively, almost as if in confusion and misunderstanding of the situation. 

“Can I ask why not?” he spoke, but his voice had never sounded this hollow before.

“I’m actually seeing someone right now,” you admit slowly, your stomach twisting and knotting because dear god had you led him on this entire time? “We uh… we started dating a bit after you and I started talking.”

Kaibara’s face was void of all emotion, the deep chocolate gone from his eyes, replaced with only reliable bitter charcoal. 

“Are they… are they your soulmate?” he asked in the softest of whispers, a tone you recognized as someone who was doing everything in their power not to cry. His nostrils flared, and he trembled slightly, his stoic mask entirely see-through to you. 

“I hope so,” you admit, your fingers digging into your sweater. “I’m sorry, Sen.”

Kaibara’s lips press into a thin wavering line, and he shakes his head, “No, it’s okay. Um, let’s finish up?”

He didn’t accept the rejection well, although he was still a good friend and helping you out, you could read this man better than yourself; it seemed because you could see how much it pained him to sit next to you every day and help you. Study sessions diminished by a lot, his free time being occupied more and more until it was finally after midnight for new years, and despite whispering that you loved your partner at the stroke of midnight, the tattoo remained red — not golden.

 You visited the Primrose Coffeeshop the moment it was opened, and to your dismay, Kaibara had left the shop, and his phone number no longer worked. 

You stayed with your partner; both of you agree to just live out the rest of your life in love since you had been so sure of the other being your soulmate. But no matter how much time had passed, the shape of your soulmate began to resemble Kaibara, but you knew better than to wish for such silly things, especially in this world. For if it was true, there was no use to even trying to find him — after all, the world forbade it.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆ iv ⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

The world was emerging with the beginning of quirks.

There wasn’t a high population of individuals with quirks yet, but there was a growing number of them. People hated those with quirks, pushing backs against the “freaks” of nature, demanding that they get put down and killed without a moment’s thought.

Without a doubt, people with quirks would begin to fight back, some turning to villainy, some to vigilante work, and some to hero work. 

Everything was masked, no one could know anyone’s true identity, or else it would end in heads being chopped off. It was like a comic book gone wrong.

And you? You were a hero, someone just trying to get by because while you didn’t want to be a freak of nature, those with powerful quirks using them against the quirkless still was not a righteous society.

Right now, you were living the most perfect life.

A secret hero that the quirkless were starting to appreciate, keeping a big evil villain in check, succeeding in your job, and in love with none other than Kaibara Sen, who you were so positive was your soulmate.

You screeched as Kaibara held you over his shoulder. Your legs kicked as he threw you onto the bed. His grinning face blowing raspberries into your exposed stomach. Your howls doing nothing to stop him. 

“Stop it!” you shriek, trying to remove his lips from your abdomen. “I’m–Sen–GOING TO PEE IF YOU DON’T STOP!”

Kaibara pulls away, peppering kisses up your chest until he’s kissing you over and over again. Your lips can’t even form a pout from your exhaustion, letting him kiss you so weirdly while you lay in defeat. “If you peed yourself, I would have made you clean it up.”

“You’re the worst boyfriend ever!!!” you moan in exhaustion as Kaibara nuzzles his nose into the crook of your neck. 

“I know, it matches your worst girlfriend category too,” Kaibara grins against your skin, and your fingers tug at his hair, trying to get him to kiss you again.

“Mm, so I’m the worst girlfriend? I might call Silence on myself then,” you tease, your lips pressing against his. 

“I would fight her to keep you then,” Kaibara brushes your hair out of your eyes, and your eyes flutter. God, there was so much you would do for this man. You loved him so much, it hurt you.

“Alright, baby, I have to go! It’s ladies’ night!” you sigh into his mouth despite doing everything you could to keep him there. Kaibara’s hands keep you close to him as his tongue slips into your mouth. You moan in half-hearted defeat at the feeling of his tongue dancing with yours. 

“You can tell Fukuda-san she can rip you out of my fucking hands,” Kaibara growls as he sucks softly against your neck. You arch into him as you shake your head. 

“Stupid, she could totally beat your ass, and you have that — fuck, you have that meeting of yoURS!” you smack his chest when his fingers brush against your bare skin. “Kaibara Sen!”

“Fine, fine, fine!” Kaibara chuckles, pulling away, love lacing his eyes. “I love you, stay safe tonight? You girls can’t handle your liquor.”

You roll your eyes as you peck a last kiss to his lips. “Only because we go straight for the hard stuff!!!”

Kaibara walks you out of his house, and into your car. His face sticking through the window for some last kisses. You give him as many as you can until you have no more time to waste. “Okay, bye! I love you!” you chirped, finally driving off.

You watch as Kaibara continues to wave at you from the street, a smile on your face until you turn the corner. Your smile instantly drops as you’re far away. 

You give a call to Fukuda, and she instantly picks up.

“Hello? Are you ready? There’s a lot of activity going on tonight… I’m worried,” Fukuda’s voice cries, and you’re consumed with the smallest bit of guilt as you drive faster. 

“I’m sorry… where to first?”

~

You ran along rooftops, your eyes locked on the man running away from you. Your breathing is harsh, raspy. You’ve been running for almost an hour now, jumping and weaving through pipes. You’re trying to get to him, the one man you’ve been chasing for years now. The man that taunted your dreams. Your life.

Your eyes caught onto the rubbish on a nearby ceiling, and you threw out your arm. Yellow energy shoots from your arms as it attaches to the objects and falls. Trapping the man by high walls, and a fifty story drop. 

“Come on, you know you want to give in!” you pant as the man stops running, turns around, and his guard is up. His gaze concentrated on you entirely as you stopped in front of him. The yellow energy filling your hands as you raise your own guard. “Give in.”

“As much as I would love to wrestle it out with you, sweetheart, I’m in a loving relationship.” his voice is dripping with sarcasm as whirring noises emit from his skin. 

The two of you were among the minuscule population that had superpowers. A revolutionary feat that had the world in battle. You were a superhero. As if you were straight off a comic book, you fought against people who threatened those beneath them. Hell, most times, you were a glorified therapist! You really only hardly ever got into fistfights, but this man. This… vile man in front of you was an exception. He was cruel.

Using this power of his to create chaos and mayhem. It was not something you liked, you hated him for it, and you have been trying to get him. To corner him! But he was always one step ahead. A finger brushes away from you as you try to get him.

It was a dreadful and repeating dance now, one the two of you frequently explored. You would lunge forward, and he would take a step backward, you would spin out, and he would pull you back in. Even the way you two fought, it was fluid, sharp, deadly, yet melodic. The occasional locking fists could have been a dance had it not been for the fire in your stance.

The masks on his face covered everything on him, but you knew he was looking at you. The only thing you needed though, was to have him pinned to the ground. His wrists in a handcuff as you dropped him off to the police. Then you’d be able to go home to Kaibara, to tell him the only secret you kept from him. 

You ducked under his gyrating fist, something you had known too well as it sent you flying into walls on multiple occasions, but he stopped jumping backward when you rolled to the side.

“I will have to bid you adieu, my sweet Silence! Duty calls, and well, I’m merely here to distract you!”

Your eyes widened as an explosion blew in the distance, and you whipped around. You snap back through to see him waving goodbye, and you freeze. “Oh, no...”

You took off in the direction of the explosion, your heart hammering away as you near it. Screams and cries echoing through the streets as you jumped in to help. Your words aiding everyone in the fiery trap. “Don’t worry, I’m here for you!” You repeated over and over, but their pain never stopped.

~

“Hi, beautiful,” Kaibara says, walking into your room. Your eyes look up at him in the mirror, and your smile is affectionate. Kaibara is in a pair of dark blue slacks. A white button-up shirt that hugged his chest beautifully, and a black-tie with a jacket on. His hair combed back, overall, he was drop-dead gorgeous. 

The brown-haired man walks to you and hugs you by your waist. Kaibara’s eyes dawdling on your outfit as you turn your head to press a kiss to his temple. “Hi.” 

“Let’s go for dinner now?”

You nod your head, this dinner was a much-needed distraction from the explosion after all. “Yes, let’s go.”

The dinner is fantastic. 

You love the way Kaibara’s eyes burn like steady embers into you the entire night, his energy never once wavering. His hand held yours after the meal was over, listening to you all while he pressed fluttering kisses to the tattoo that reads iv. You giggle out his name as he refuses to quit, and your cheeks burn.

“Y/l/n y/n,” Kaibara states, and you raise your eyebrows inviting him to continue. “I met you years ago, and you’re… incredible. Your energy is intoxicating as is your smile.” Kaibara smiles as he kisses the back of your hand. “I love the way you hate Tuesday mornings, I love that you always jump onto your bed, you do not have to, but you do. You complete me, you make me want to be a better person, and I have only one thing to ask…”

Your eyes sparkle with unshed tears, and Kaibara presses up and kneels before you.

“Will you marry me, y/n? Would you do me the honor of being my wife?”

A black velvet box presents itself on his palm. A luminescent diamond ring shining against the light surrounded by primroses, the flower you said represented your love with him. Your tears shedding uncontrollably from your eyes while you grin like a fool.

Your head nods over and over.

“Yes!” You cry as you pepper wet kisses all over his face. “Yes, please! Yes!”

The diamond ring slips onto your finger, and you can’t even begin to describe your emotions as you kiss him. The cheering of the crowds disappearing as you hold him even closer.

He asked you for your hand that night, and yet you felt united in a whole other way. The overwhelming love between the two of you palatable the entire night.

~

You struggle against the wall, gasping as the villain holds you by your throat. You had foiled his next plan and were now paying dearly for it. 

You slam your foot into his crotch, and he grunts, letting you go. You collapse to the ground gasping for air. You stagger but act quickly, sweeping his feet out from underneath him. He falls to the ground, and you shoot energy from your hands, allowing you to smoothly and rapidly hop on top of him. You press your knees into his arms, and he hisses.

His legs sweep up, kicking you forward, and you tumble off of him.

So the two of you embark on another dangerous dance of yours. Fukuda screams in your ear about the dangers lurking around you if you don’t get out of there! But you had landed a hit, you were going to get him today!

You duck under a punch and shove a palm to his ribcage. He stumbles backward, you narrow your eyebrows as you lock an energy strand around his leg, pulling him in. You race over, but you miss the whirring of his skin. You’re blown backward, white-hot pain scorching your cheek, the mask on your face cracking in two. You gasp for air, the mask breaking completing as it falls to the ground. You couldn’t hear Fukuda yelling at you anymore as knees slam into your chest, and you wheeze.

Your eyes lock onto the villain before you. His arm cocked back for another devastating punch, but he’s frozen. His body is still. You don’t feel your energy power up, only that your arm is thrust up, and he’s thrown off you. A sickening crash is heard, and you sit up wheezing. 

You stare at the man, your vision dizzy, and you feel sick.

Not because you’re dizzy, but because of the face that’s revealed as his mask falls.

Kaibara.

His eyes are so vast, and your eyes are tearing up.

He can’t stand up, and you stumble to your feet, swaying where you stand.

“Get the fuck out of there, y/n!” Fukuda’s voice is yelling at you, and you flinch, finally hearing it. 

“Sen…” You whisper, your head shaking in disbelief. “You can’t be… how are you, Spinner?”

The villain’s name. The name you loathe, the name you refuse to use. You prefer ‘villain’ because giving him a name gives him an identity. A reason for him to be committing the atrocities he’s committed.

How was this man in front of you the person you loved with all your heart? 

You can’t remember running away. You only remember that you’re back in your house sobbing as you stare at the diamond ring on your nightstand.

~

You stare at the ceiling of your room. You feel hollow. 

Since that fateful encounter, neither one of you has attempted to reach out. Neither one of you calling, texting, or showing up. You hated it, but you couldn’t stand seeing him here. How could you ever talk to the man you love knowing who he was? What he was; what he is?

You knew everyone had secrets, but why was his secret this, anything but this…

The engagement ring is on your finger still. It makes perfect sense, everything tells you that it should be there. But it feels heavy… it weighs you down in more ways than its weight. Could you really forgive a man like him? Yes, he’s your Kaibara, but he’s also Spinner.

Notorious as the underground crime king. Spinner was someone you’ve been fighting since day one. It made you nauseous, just thinking about how that man was your Kaibara. 

How were they the same person?

The floorboards in your hallway creak, and you slam up. Your eyes concentrating on the doorframe. Your mouth runs dry as you stare at angry black eyes. His mouth pressed into a flat line as his hands roughly weave through his hair. 

It hurts knowing that it wasn’t a hoax. You knew Kaibara Kaibara like the back of your hand, and being able to read him now burned your throat and heart. You lick your lips as he steps closer, his eyes focused on you. 

“You’re Silence?”

“You’re Spinner…”

Kaibara shakes his head, his lips barking with cold humor as he can’t believe it. To be fair, you can’t either as you stare at his conflicted features. 

“I don’t understand?” he admits, his eyes swimming with confusion, anger, and yet longing. 

“You and me both,” you laugh bitterly, shaking your head as you look up at him. “Care to explain?”

“I don’t really want to.” Kaibara shakes his head, his smile sad, and you blink. 

“You’re fucking kidding me, right?” you snap, your brows furrowing when you stalk over to Kaibara, who held his ground. “You’re the one causing all this mayhem, and you’re not going to even explain it to me?!”

“What’s the point, y/n? So that you can cry the next time we meet? You’re not going to give me mercy! You don’t understand! So why should I bother?!” Kaibara’s face clouded, angry, and focused. 

“Because you fucking love me!” you hiss, shoving Kaibara with your full strength. This entire time you’ve been able to pull off using mere fractions of your power. Enough to fight with Kaibara, but definitely not enough to send him stumbling backward. 

Kaibara’s black eyes snap on you as he gathers his balance. “Don’t do this.”

“I am a hero!” you tremble, your hands pulling at the roots of your hair. Your heart is racing in the worst of ways. You feel faint, ready to fall over, and never wake back up. “I save people nearly every damn day, Kaibara! I save people from you!”

There’s a glower on his face, and you know it’s because you’re putting Kaibara on a fence he doesn’t want to be. A wall that he hates. Kaibara always had something to say, he wasn’t one to pretend to not have an opinion, and so this was killing him.

“Some people in this world deserve to have checks,” Kaibara states, his steely voice calm, his eyes raging. “I don’t do anything to people who don’t deserve it.”

Your nostrils flare, and you can feel your throat thick with emotions. What the actual fuck was he on? “Really? Do these people deserve to die? People fucking deserve to get their life blown to shreds because of what? Because you think they’re corrupt? Oh, grow the fuck up, Kaibara! No, I don’t believe your bullcrap! Do you think I really haven’t tried finding correlations? Correlations for every single crime you committed? Yes, these people are terrible! But that’s why we have other ways of stopping them! You can’t play fucking god and decide whether these people deserve to live or not! What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

You’re pressed flat against his chest. Your chest heaving with lack of air and overwhelming emotions. Kaibara’s face contorted with anger. His black eyes flashing before sinking into blackness. 

Then you say words you wish you could regret, words that broke your heart as you said it.

“How can you expect me to love someone like you?”

He left your shared place after that. The year ended, and there was nothing to stop the tragic downfall of both Spinner and Silence, both of you never recovered from this moment.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆ v ⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

“Kaibara, is that you?!”

Your eyes looked at the brown-haired man walking into the hero agency where you were currently a sidekick in. 

It had been two years since graduating from UA, and you were here with Miruko, a signing that had honestly shocked many, many people when it happened. Sure enough, as an alumnus of UA and being a part of his rival classroom 1-A, it was a pleasant surprise to see someone outside of your classmates.

“Y/l/n?” he greeted you in return, his hands resting on his hips, his body completely decked out in his uniform. You guessed he started his day before you.

“It’s been so long!” you grin, stopping at his side with your hands clutched by your thighs, “How can I help you today?”

“Well, I need some help. I’m here to recruit you to help with Gang Orca’s mission.”

You watched him hand you a folder and immediately upon reading it understood why he was here for you. This was a job that was perfect with your quirk.

“I can help out,” you say after reading the file, a smile on your face. “Will you be there?”

“I am his sidekick, plus I gathered most of the evidence,” Kaibara shrugged, and you nodded.

“Okay, sounds good, Spiral.”

Kaibara smiled, his eyebrow lifted while he walked away. “Good, see you then.”

You and Kaibara always got along, maybe it was because both of you were the only people in UA who were on their fifth reincarnation cycle, but knowing you weren’t alone was always nice. He was still kind to you, even if he seemed bland at times, but you came to see that it was just… him. Regardless he was a formidable foe and a strong hero. Your only regret was not getting as close to him as you could have since the rivalry between the two classes never lessened.

The team-up mission went smoothly. The extraction of the hostages on top of capturing the brass of the cult, and stopping their influence on victims of their power was an excellent boost to your reputation and Miruko’s agency. Still, you had suffered minor injuries and had an EMT checking you out this very moment.

Your eyes fell on Kaibara, who was a few strides away. He had a nasty looking bruise on his jaw, a punch he had taken for you during your lack of attention. Signaling that you were fine now, the EMT let you go, and you walked over to Kaibara, your guilt looming heavy in your stance.

“Sorry for getting you hurt,” you apologized, your finger looming over the spot where he got hit on your own skin.

“No problem,” he brushed it off with a shrug of his shoulders. “You didn’t see it, plus you still got it handled in the end, which was much more important.”

“Yeah, but now I feel like I owe you drinks or something,” you huff, not at all pleased with how he was okay with this.

A silence fell over you two, the EMT avoiding eye contact as if this was like avoiding the plague. But with your vision glued to your feet, you didn’t catch the way that his eyebrows bunched and relaxed over and over in thought until finally, he spoke.

“I could go for drinks.” 

And so this night where you and Kaibara found yourselves at a bar with drinks in hands, did you realize that you wanted to actually get to know him. You didn’t want to associate Kaibara as the other fifth reincarnation cycle guy, or the guy from class 1-B, you wanted to know him for… him. 

It turned out, he felt the same way. 

Thus began a strange but quaint relationship between the two of you.

Kaibara ended up being a personality you enjoyed to be around a lot. He often danced between being a straight face and serious, to chaotic and enthusiastic, to sometimes straight-up aggressive and demanding. The fluctuation often amuses you, three different branches to his personality, much like the three spirals on his gloves. 

“I don’t think I’m ridiculous,” you point out, your finger following Kaibara’s walking form as he was grabbing the two of you drinks from his fridge. “I get that most people give up at this point, but I really do think I’ll meet my soulmate this time about!”

Kaibara looked at you incredulously when he sat next to you, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up to his elbow so you could see the Roman numeral for five tattoo on his wrist. “What makes this lifetime so special? Besides, we know that soulmates always meet in every reincarnation. If you and your soulmate haven’t clicked since the first cycle, what’s the point in fighting so hard at this cycle?” A frown overcomes your face, and you glare at Kaibara, who struggles to uphold a serious reaction. “I’m sorry, too far?”

“Shut up.”

His laughter fills the room while you turn away from him pouting. 

“So you don’t want to meet your soulmate?” you asked, trying your hardest to not sound too nosey but just the perfect amount of curiosity. 

“I’d love to meet my soulmate, don’t get it wrong,” Kaibara sighs, his back falling onto the back of the couch, his head tilting up to the ceiling. “But it’s… weird to keep my hopes up. With no memories of past reincarnations, it seems like I’m stumbling around in the dark.”

You hummed, your fingers bringing the drink to your mouth and taking a small sip from it.

“Would you like to go on a date with me?” you asked when you brought your cup down.

Kaibara looked at you, his eyes like the void, daunting dark yet beautiful, “Why?”

“Well, if this is going to be my last reincarnation, I don’t want to live a life of regrets,” you smile, your head tilting to the side. “I would always regret not asking you out.”

His face melted into one of softness and undeniable excitement at your practical confession, “As long as you think your class could handle you dating someone from class 1-B.”

“I think that’s more of a question of if your class can handle you dating someone from class 1-A!”

So the two of you began to date.

It took no time for you to fall inexplicably and wholly in love with Kaibara Sen; he was perfect for you. Day and night he was someone you could entirely rely on, never once would he slip up, always coming to aid you when you needed it and vice versa. There were still hard nights, after all, you were still human. 

But rain or shine, momentous fight or sweet staples of your relationship, the both of you always ended up in the same bed, holding each other close as night consumed you. 

Before you knew it, it was New Year's Eve, and instead of going out tonight, you and Kaibara decided to stay in. A feeble nervous attempt in the hope that the two of you genuinely were soulmates. Five reincarnations later, and now you would finally find out if he was made for you if you were made for him.

“I want to give these to you,” Kaibara spoke to you when you came to the couch, a hefty blanket in your arms that you planned on drawing the both of you in while you watched the fireworks display on a TV monitor. Today was your first day off in a while, and because the crime rate was notoriously low on this holiday, staying home together sounded better than a clashed reunion of your high school classmates.

Your eyes found the small bouquet of primroses in his hands, the pink and white flowers sitting charmingly in their tan paper. A smile spread across your face immediately, and you brought your lips to him in a chaste kiss.

“They’re beautiful, thank you,” you happily sigh, moving to sit at his side, snuggled comfortably against him with the blanket over both of you. “What do they mean?”

“I can’t live without you,” Kaibara whispered, his eyes locking against yours.

And with warm cheeks, you smiled earnestly and connected your lips against his. 

The bouquet went forgotten as the two of you continued your passionate kiss, the words of ‘I love you’ continuing to pour from your lips well past midnight. Hope and endearment fully saturated between your hopeful mouth.

And alas, my dearest reader, I’m glad to tell you that at last, you found the one meant for you.

Primroses graced each of your lives with Kaibara Sen; after all, they were the flower of love, a flower that also meant that you couldn’t live without the other — a real sign of soulmate love through reincarnation. And my sweet reader, the moment your lips removed from Kaibaras as the stroke of midnight passed, the words of love exchanged between the two of you with complete honesty, you’ll be pleased to know that the tattoo turned to gold.

[salvatoreschool]

Vampire Diaries Universe: The 25 Best Characters, Ranked

For the first time since 2009, we’re entering a fall season devoid of any new offerings from the Vampire Diaries universe. And like Stefan Salvatore without his daily diet of forest friends, we’re insatiable.

Like so many longtime TVD enthusiasts (those of us to whom the word “thesmatos” really means something!), we’ve spent much of quarantine revisiting the weird, wonderful universe — from Mystic Falls to New Orleans and back again. We’re suddenly spending a lot of time with characters we haven’t seen in years. And we’re having a lot of feelings about them.

In celebration of the franchise’s 11th anniversary, TVLine has assembled another totally non-controversial ranking, this time of the 25 best characters from the Vampire Diaries universe — a category that also includes familiar faces from The Originals and Legacies. (In Legacies‘ defense, the franchise’s latest offshoot hasn’t been around as long to endear itself to us, but that didn’t stop four Salvatore School students from making their way onto our list.)

In lieu of new content from the TVD universe this fall, TVLine is looking back at our 25 favorite characters from the entire franchise, including stand-out favorites from its two spinoffs.

SPOILER ALERT: This ranking discusses major plot points from all three shows. If you haven’t finished The Vampire Diaries (Season 1-8), The Originals (Season 1-5) or Legacies (Season 1-2), proceed at your own risk. Don’t say we didn’t warn you!

25. VINCENT GRIFFITH

Thanks to the magic of body swapping, the Mikaelson siblings have inhabited multiple physical vessels throughout the years, but none have remained in the family’s orbit quite like this Southern gentleman. Powerful, thoughtful and downright Shakespearean in his delivery (Yusuf Gatewood, ladies and gentlemen!), Vincent always has the greater good in mind. And as we learned in The Originals’ series finale, he helped Freya and Keelan pass that good along to the next generation.

24. LANDON KIRBY

Even though we’re still getting to know him, there’s already so much to like about this pure-hearted Mystic Falls townie. Not only is he the franchise’s first-ever phoenix, but he also looks like he could pass for Damon and Elena’s offspring — and that’s never a bad thing. We could tell he had a long future in this universe the moment he danced with Hope in The Originals’ final season. (So far, so good!)

23. JENNA SOMMERS

Like so many paved paradises, we didn’t fully appreciate what we had with Jenna until she was gone. Her death marked the end of Elena’s innocence — which is saying a lot, considering she was still mourning her own parents when The Vampire Diaries began. And if we’re being honest, Jenna was the ghost we were most excited to see again in the series finale. (For the record, Joseph Morgan has apologized on Klaus’ behalf for killing Jenna several times.)

22. TYLER LOCKWOOD

The First Son of Mystic Falls was kind of a jerk when we met him in The Vampire Diaries‘ first season. He was arrogant, aggressive and reckless — so it actually made perfect sense when he was revealed to be a werewolf. Fortunately, Michael Trevino’s character developed a little more nuance from that point on, especially via his Romeo and Juliet romance with Caroline. (After everything that’s happened since 2013, can you believe that they were once in a love triangle with Klaus?)

21. JEREMY GILBERT

Elena’s little brother (er, cousin?) went through a number of different, wonderful phases during his tenure in Mystic Falls. We loved him in The Vampire Diaries’ earlier seasons as the human embodiment of all things emo (he literally dated a ghost!), and we… um… appreciated his unexpected evolution into a shirt-ripping, wood-chopping vampire hunter.

20. CAMILLE ‘CAMI’ O’CONNELL

The Clarice Starling to Klaus’ Hannibal Lecter, this brave bartender was able to tap into the show’s darkest, most complicated character’s psyche in ways that no one named Mikaelson (or even Forbes) ever could. She helped him conquer a number of his demons in the few short years they spent together on The Originals, and like most people who play a significant role in Klaus’ life, she suffered the consequences. (Side note: Are we the only ones who really dug Cami as a vampire? Justice for that short-lived story arc.)

19. SHERIFF ELIZABETH FORBES

Of The Vampire Diaries’ many maternal figures, none put us through the emotional ringer quite like Caroline’s mother. We weren’t her biggest fans in the show’s early seasons, given her penchant for hunting the undead (including her own daughter), but hey, what was this show if not an endless series of redemption arcs? Also, if you don’t get a little choked up when Caroline felt her mom’s presence in the series finale, you don’t have a soul.

18. FREYA MIKAELSON

The long-lost fifth Mikaelson sibling was a little rough around the edges when we first encountered her on The Originals, but the poor woman was in the midst of escaping a centuries-long imprisonment, so we cut her a little slack. And we’re glad we did, because Freya has since become one of the strongest, most inspiring and all-around likable characters in the Vampire Diaries canon. #FreelinForever

17. MARCEL GERARD

While it’s easy to get swept up in Marcel’s charm and swagger (we were robbed of a second karaoke number, by the way!), it’s important to remember just how far back his time with the Mikaelson family goes. When you consider that Klaus literally freed Marcel from slavery and raised him to lead New Orleans as his right-hand vampire, it adds a whole other layer of tension to their passionate power struggle on The Originals. Though he’s treated like an unofficial Mikaelson sibling, Marcel often feels like more of a Mikaelson than Kol — and definitely more than Finn.

16. REBEKAH MIKAELSON

Arguably the funniest (and most glamorous) member of the Mikaelson family, the woman Damon once referred to as “Barbie Klaus” never fai to tell it exactly like it was, beginning with her thoughts on then-lovebirds Stefan and Elena. (“Honestly, I don’t get you two as a couple.”) And Bex only became more complex as the years went on, from her desperate desire for humanity to her undeniable love for Marcel. Just don’t call her insane — she prefers “spontaneous.”

15. ALARIC SALTZMAN

In hindsight, Alaric’s journey from hot history teacher to hot headmaster of a supernatural school makes perfect sense. Still, it was impossible to predict back in The Vampire Diaries’ first season just how much of an impact the man formerly known as Warner Huntington III would have on this franchise. A drinking buddy to some, a father figure to others and a literal father to a lucky pair, Alaric has truly woven himself into the fabric of this universe like few others. (That said, we still wouldn’t recommend dating him if you value your life.)

14. SHERIFF MATT DONOVAN

Only one full-blooded human survived all eight seasons of The Vampire Diaries, and you’re looking at him. The pinnacle of mortal goodness, this blue-eyed patriot hasn’t always been on the same page as his vampire brethren, but that’s only because he didn’t want to see any more his friends and family get eaten. And we can sympathize with that!

12-13. LIZZIE AND JOSIE SALTZMAN

Asking us to choose between Jo (by way of Caroline) and Alaric’s daughters is an impossible task, which is ironic, considering the Gemini twins are literally destined for a fight to the death on their 22nd birthday. Besides, these sisters have always felt like a package deal, from the moment we witnessed their birth on The Vampire Diaries to the day we reunited with them as teenagers on Legacies. (They also popped up in The Originals’ penultimate episode, putting them in the prestigious category of characters who have appeared in all three series.) Despite their inherent connection, Lizzie and Josie really have grown into two very different people, a journey we hope will continue for years (and shows) to come.

11. MALACHAI ‘KAI’ PARKER

The fact that this remorseless, pork rind-loving psychopath ranks so high on our list speaks volumes about actor Chris Wood, who brought a refreshingly sassy vibe to The Vampire Diaries’ sixth season. The guy was so likable, fans were even ‘shipping him with Bonnie… as if that poor girl hadn’t been through enough already! You also have to give Kai points for longevity — even after his head got knocked off, he managed to make two encore appearances on TVD (Season 8) and Legacies (Season 2).

10. HOPE MIKAELSON

As we mentioned with Lizzie and Josie earlier, we feel like we’ve watched Hope grow up before our eyes… because we have. Given the epic circumstances surrounding her conception, birth and upbringing, an adult version of this character had a lot of hype to live up to, and Danielle Rose Russell has proven herself more than up to the challenge. Imbued with her parents’ best qualities, Hope’s power and passion make her both a formidable foe and an invaluable ally. Besides, Legacies showed us what the world would be like without Hope, and it was not a good place.

9. HAYLEY MARSHALL

We can’t even think about this fierce, fearless mama wolf without shedding a single tear. Hayley’s story was basically one long tragedy, from her complicated marriage with Jackson to her tumultuous relationship with Elijah. And then there was her untimely demise in The Originals’ final season, which… actually, let’s not talk about that. From the moment she gave birth, Hayley’s heart belonged to Hope, and it was in her most extreme maternal moments that Hayley’s true strength was on display. That’s how we’ll remember her.

8. ELIJAH MIKAELSON

Suits? Pressed. Hair? Immaculate. Vocabulary? Thicc. With his smooth moves and cunning intellect, Klaus’ extremely respectful brother could do it all — well, except keep the people he loved from meeting horrific ends. (Seriously, this guy’s track record for dead lovers is right up there with Alaric’s.)

7. BONNIE BENNETT

Simply put, this is the witch you want in your corner when things go south. Endlessly powerful and selfless to a fault, Kat Graham’s character spent eight agonizing seasons sacrificing herself — often literally, hence her multiple deaths — in order to keep her friends and family safe. No amount of bloody noses or dead boyfriends could stop this badass from crushing her enemies.

6. CAROLINE FORBES

Getting smothered to death was honestly the best thing that could have happened to Caroline, who evolved from a basic, boy-crazy cheerleader into a bad-ass vampire overnight. And that was just the first phase of her franchise-long evolution into the empowered, globe-trotting mother of two she is today. She’s also responsible for all of The Vampire Diaries’ memorable musical moments, from her sweet song for Matt to her devastating performance at Sheriff Forbes’ funeral. (Now if only she’d pay her old pals at Legacies a visit…)

5. ELENA SALVATORE

She may not have Katherine’s chaotic flare, but Elena deserves credit for carrying much of The Vampire Diaries’ dramatic and romantic weight for six years. And for that pink hair she experimented with in Season 4. On top of that, Elena also rolled with the punches better than almost anyone. (You’re vampires? I’m a doppelgänger? Now I’m a vampire? Now I’m human again? Now I’m in a coma? Sure, let’s do this.)

3-4. DAMON AND STEFAN SALVATORE

Two sides of the same brooding coin, these brothers were as proficient at breaking hearts as they were at breaking necks. And while their love triangle with Elena will remain the stuff of TV legend, their relationship as brothers was revealed to be the real heart of The Vampire Diaries in its final two seasons. Honestly, it’s too hard to choose between them, so we’re not going to.

2. KATHERINE PIERCE

Come on, when were you not excited to see this leather-clad lunatic on your screen? Deliciously twisted and infinitely more interesting than her human doppelgänger, Katherine was behind many of The Vampire Diaries’ most jaw-dropping twists, from her iconic encounter with John(’s bloody fingers) to her long-awaited return in the series finale. Honestly, putting Katherine on hell’s throne in Season 8 was merely a formality — she was always a queen.

1. KLAUS MIKAELSON

The man, the myth, the legend. To think that the monster who slaughtered poor, defenseless Aunt Jenna on The Vampire Diaries is the same person who gave it all up to save his daughter on The Originals… well, there isn’t a clap slow enough to commend that kind of growth. (Again, Joseph Morgan is very sorry about the whole Jenna thing!) By the time Klaus evaporated on the streets of New Orleans, it felt like we had explored every conceivable nook and cranny of his existence, from his traumatic childhood to his fatal romances — and we relished every second of it.

[lightlessons]

Hmmm.. How about a Lawlight arranged marriage drabble?

Word count: 1,047

Light’s mother had always taught him the values of not judging a book by its cover, claiming that everyone’s external appearance doesn’t necessarily attest to the wonders inside their heart. Light didn’t pay her much mind when she talked about such things, but he’d pretend to. He’d had to in order to appear like he was taking her rather boring lessons to heart, so that she would promptly leave him alone and he could concentrate on other more important things, like his secret research on the subject of physics. 

However, Light thought, even she would have to admit the man before them now is making anything but a good impression. 

Hunched over the table, Mr. Lawliet, his candidate husband, barely deigns to look in their direction when answering their questions. When he does, they are curt, often drawled words that don’t invite much conversation. He is sickly pale and his eyes betray an alarming lack of sleep, coupled with a blatant disregard for his appearance. If it weren’t for the key matter of his reputation and that of his family, Light would have demanded he be put out on the street sooner than he could have finished his daifuku. 

But as things are, his father keeps advertising Light to the man as he’s seen merchants do with foreign goods. 

“Light takes an interest in many intellectual fields. I think he’d like to read some of your various monographs, Mr. Lawliet.”  

Don’t speak over me, Dad. I can lie for myself, and better than you can. 

“Is that true, Young Yagami? I’ve never received much interest in them, from the various candidates I’ve visited,” Lawliet asks with the slightest hint of sudden keenness to his monotone.

Who would admit to having undergone this process numerous times so casually? This is Light’s fourth time, and even that is shameful enough to keep him tight-lipped about it. 

“I’m sure I’d find it to be a very insightful reading.” Light answers with all the poise that’s expected of him and as much sincerity as he can muster. 

The corner of Lawliet’s lips quirks up and Light gets the impression that what he’d just said amused him. Does he not think Light capable of understanding his oh-so-impressive essays on criminal behaviour? Is he so arrogant as to be sure he’s the only scholarly-inclined person in the room? 

Oh, how Light itches to wipe the smirk off his face. 

“Light, why don’t you walk Mr. Lawliet around the gardens?” his mother suggests, probably hoping for private conversation to somewhat ease the tension from this meal. 

Light stands up from his cushion, makes a reverence to Lawliet and his rather dull father before extending an invitation to their holy gardens, exactly as he’d done three equally fruitless times before. 

*°*°*°*°*°

“I’m glad that’s finally done,” Lawliet deadpans once they are out of ear-shot and strolling around the conifers and azaleas.

Light is momentarily robbed of speech by what he deems to be a very clear insult, and pauses to stare at the offender in angry befuddlement. 

Lawliet, at least, has the grace to stop and explain himself. 

“I’m sorry, I only meant the whole dinner table formality. It’s never been something I’ve enjoyed.” 

It’s odd hearing it said like that, because it’d never been something Light enjoyed either, and he knows that to his parents such words could only be interpreted as a dig against their hospitality.Yet somehow, on Lawliet, they don’t seem to hold any real malice. 

“I can agree they are rough to endure sometimes. Is that why you acted so...strained at the table?"

"I suppose. I'm sorry if I've offended you.”

“That’s all right.” 

It’s not. Because Light spends a good deal of energy going through the motions specifically to hide the fact that he finds all of it terribly dull. But Lawliet doesn’t bother to, he just… reacts in the way he feels. Lawliet acts with a kind of freedom Light has never known. He supposes it comes with prestige. 

They continue walking in silence as Light gets lost in his own thoughts, until they reach a small amorphic rock shrine. Nobody pays this one any mind because it’s smaller and less impressive than their other statues, but it’d always been Light’s favorite one in the garden. Lawliet stops in front of it. 

“It’s made out of parts of an idol that stood at the top of our house, but a lighting bolt destroyed it. My mother made something new out of it, to remind us of the power nature holds,” Light recites, though he himself has never seen it that way. To him, it’s as a reminder of how humans can transform the hardships imposed on them by a mysterious, unresolved universe. It’s far more beautiful than any of the other figures representing divinities he’d never really believed in. 

“Do you know there’s been new research that proves there’s a little bit of lightning in everything around us?” Lawliet interjects absently, almost dreamily.

Light did not, in fact, know that.

“I’ve known about the theory. I don’t think I’ve read about this research, though,” Light answers, lest Lawliet thinks he’s completely ignorant of such things. 

“I found the idea almost fantastical when I heard of it, but then, science tends to be that way more often than people give it credit for. Although I admit I'm only interested in it as far as it informs my own field." 

"And if people are studying electricity, there might be a hundred different ways you could use it to commit a crime or murder with it." Light adds, guessing where Lawliet's thoughts are at.

His suitor smiles, seemingly pleased, and Light notices that when he smiles, even his sunken stormy eyes blaze with energy. 

Conversation comes much easier after that, and by the end of it, Light's mind is already brimming with questions he didn't have the opportunity of asking. Light has never liked the concept of a husband, but three days after their first date, he's already sure it can't be the last time he sees L Lawliet. 

"Father?" he beckons the man just as his family is about to go to bed. 

"Yes, Light?" comes the rough answer in the form of a tired voice. 

"Please schedule a second meeting."

[hisdelicatelittleflower]

ADVICE | Love is TOTALLY Overrated! (But Probably Not for the Reason You’re Thinking): A Love Letter to the Lovers

Worry not, dear reader! This actually isn’t the ravings of the archetypal “woman scorned,” here to tell you how falling in love is an awful idea, making yourself vulnerable in a romantic relationship is never worth the potential heartbreak, or that marriage is not a honorable, beautiful, and blessed vocation to pursue.

In fact, quite honestly, despite being the nearly 700 miles that separate us and all of the surprisingly difficult (and fairly instantaneous) exterior trials that tested and later cemented our bond, I feel that I’m truly with my beloved.

The reason that I write this piece is that I see every day, saturating the world around us, the constant and powerful over-romanticization of love. In our books, films, TV shows, even (and sometimes, especially) on social media!

Going by the metric society around us often portrays, what is love? What are some of the concepts and images that pop into your head?

I know a few of my own: candy hearts, drug store romance novels, and Hallmark Channel-esque love stories of the two polar opposite, diametrically-opposed in terms of values people who fall helplessly in love and live happily, ever after with their two and a half kids and family dog, a big house in the suburbs, and never seem to be challenged by big troubles of any kind.

To me, these are not at all reasonable or realistic representations of how romantic relationships of any measurable depth and breadth are, and if you allow these false idols of what love is “supposed to” look like or play out to color or influence your perception of these concepts in the slightest, it WILL inevitably doom any romance you’re in and dash any reasonable hope of one in the future.

Now, I know exactly what you’re thinking…

“Well, darn, what is love, Alayna, if not completely identical to this hollow and ultimately soulless manufactured product specifically designed to inspire delusions of grandeur and attempts of self-insertion in the willing and naïve consumer so that they hopefully stay engaged deeply and well enough to keep paying for them? And, what’s the problem of keeping my hopes up for that perfect special person and relationship, anyways? Can’t a [man/woman/it?] dream?”

All right, all right, I hear you, I hear you! Calm down!

Now, to begin to answer that amazing and eloquently stated question, here’s a couple truth bombs for ya: There exists no perfect person nor relationship—And whom does this huge revelation surprise, exactly? Not a soul.

And, yet, every single day, in person and in the media, I see the same vicious cycle repeated, over and over again. I hear the sorority girl sobbing or ranting to her friend on the bus about how her boyfriend gave her a one-word response with a period in his text message (Oh, no, the dreaded period! The absolute horror!) and how this must mean that he’s no longer “into her” and that he’s most likely cheating, the guy silently (but visibly) heartbroken when his girlfriend chose to skip out on a date to hang out with her girl friends for the third time in a row, the couple on reality TV that seems completely shaken by the slightest of complications.

So, with that said, what exactly is love?

Well, according to St. Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, love is patient, kind, refrains from envy, humble, slow to anger, despises evil and celebrates truth, is protective, trusting, hopeful, keeps no record of wrongs, and always perseveres (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

In a lot of ways, this definition is pretty simplistic and straight-forward, but if it is, how come it’s so darn hard to live out?

Answer: Because humans tend to be stupid, lazy, selfish, and petty, and when you’re dealing with two of those…Well, things get pretty complicated.

The good news is, though, is that when you’re able to avoid these instincts, this resulting application of love in a romantic relationship is a truly beautiful and blessed thing, and, speaking from experience, there is nothing in the world that will ever compare. It will supplement the joy and fulfillment already inherent in being a child of God and make life sweet and blissful beyond your wildest dreams.

That being said, I don’t know if y’all know this already, but relationships are HARD. With as much tear-jerking laughter, shameless flirtation, and tender moments I share with my sweet beloved, when I swear I can almost physically feel him with me, there is also tons of awkwardness (at least, in the beginning), stress, miscommunication, uncertainty, and faux pas, in general, to go around.

The key I’ve found to truly unlocking this God-given gift of a successful and loving marital vocation is to do a deep examination of oneself and try your best to discover aspects of and flaws in your personality/mentality that may hinder your ability to love in a way that adheres more closely to the biblical definition of love and honors both God and your beloved.

For instance, I know that I sometimes struggle to speak up and ask for what I want and need, and that’s something I definitely need to learn to curb, as it again, puts the pressure on my beloved to somehow read my mind. Fortunately, however, as both of us learn and grow, we’ve always seemed able to stay in sync with one another, despite some extremely stressful circumstances that have popped up from time to time.

If you, too, struggle with this specific issue in your relationship, realize that, no matter how kind or conscientious they may be, they absolutely cannot read your mind. If there are any concerns or conflicts, no matter how minor or moot they seem, they must be appropriately and lovingly communicated, and if time after time, conflicts, minor or major, cannot be resolved to the other’s selfishness or immaturity, this is not the relationship for you.

Others, I know, struggle more with short tempers, tendencies to hold grudges, or struggle with jealousy or cowardice—One of these may be your proverbial cross to bear, but I’ve also learned that all of these, even the more severe cases, can be overcome with time, tenacity, humility, prayer, professional help (if necessary), and patience, mostly on the part of your SO.

So, ultimately, what should you glean from what I’ve written here about that awesome yet curious four-letter word that we all seem to want for so badly in this life?

More than anything, I would hope, at least, that you treat love as not so much a feeling as it is a commitment—A commitment to always work through each of your flaws both individually and as a couple so that you not only bring joy and love to yourselves, but to build up and be an example for your community, and to be effective and loving parents and role models to your children in this respect so that you may glorify God. The truth of the matter is any relationship you initiate with anyone, especially of the romantic/marital variety, does not exist in a vacuum and is not solely dependent on your ever-changing attitudes or drive for instant gratification (whether of the sexual or wrathful nature). There will inevitably be times in your relationship where you’re truly vexed, beyond exasperated, or hopeless with the state of your relationship, either for interior or exterior reasons, to the point that the two of you may actually require outside, professional help to sort things out. In the end, however, love is the decision to always persevere and to fight, hand in hand.

I will conclude with the eternal words of Fyodor Dostoevsky, who had this to say on the matter in his final novel, The Brothers Karamazov:

“I am sorry I can say nothing more consoling to you, for love in action is a harsh and dreadful thing compared with love in dreams. Love in dreams is greedy for immediate action, rapidly performed and in the sight of all. Men will even give their lives if only the ordeal does not last long but is soon over, with all looking on and applauding as though on the stage. But active love is labour and fortitude, and for some people too, perhaps, a complete science. But I predict that just when you see with horror that in spite of all your efforts you are getting farther from your goal instead of nearer to it — at that very moment I predict that you will reach it and behold clearly the miraculous power of the Lord who has been all the time loving and mysteriously guiding you.”

And, with that, God bless you all, and I hope you have a wonderful Tuesday afternoon!

With love, your Internet pal,

Alayna ☩ 💐

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{Original article}

[loretranscripts]

Lore Episode 13: Off the Path (Transcript) - 24th August 2015

tw: death, WWII

Disclaimer: This transcript is entirely non-profit and fan-made. All credit for this content goes to Aaron Mahnke, creator of Lore podcast. It is by a fan, for fans, and meant to make the content of the podcast more accessible to all. Also, there may be mistakes, despite rigorous re-reading on my part. Feel free to point them out, but please be nice!

Before we begin today’s episode, I wanted to let everyone know that I’ve added two new pages to the Lore website. First, I’ve posted a couple of upcoming live shows to a new live show page – the first show is in Portsmouth, New Hampshire on October 11th, followed by an afternoon show in New Haven, Connecticut on October 25th. I cannot tell you how excited I am to finally meet some of you, so, please, mark the date and come and see me. I also get asked a lot about show transcripts. My transcripts are full of historical references and footnotes, as well as links to relevant web pages and books. You can find out how to get the transcripts by visiting lorepodcast.com/transcripts. And one last thing – I’m also producing smaller, extra episodes of Lore. These are released on off-weeks, the weeks that Lore isn’t released through the podcast feed, and I post them to the Lore Patreon page. Supporters at the $5 or more level will have access to all of them – I’m just saying. And now, on with the show.

I’ve spent most of my life in the presence of troubled sports teams. Growing up in the Chicago area, I was always aware of how long the Cubs had gone without winning a World Series title. It was less a point of pain, and more a numb spot in the collective conscience of everyone around me. When I moved to Boston in the late 90s, I discovered a similar culture, this time centred around the Red Sox. Again, here was a team that had spent decades waiting; year after year, hope would be manufactured, and piled high in the cart of expectations, only to have that cart dumped on its side at the end of each season. Until 2004, that is – that was the year things changed. That was the year that brought the tower of hopelessness and doubt, a tower that took 86 years to construct – brick by brick, year after year – and brought it all crashing down. The wait was over. No, I don’t plan to talk about baseball today, but I do think the story of these teams, like the Cubs and the Red Sox, have something valuable to teach us about how our minds work, our ability to justify, to explain, to make sense of what seems so often to not make any sense at all; that’s what I find fascinating. Humans are so very good at finding reasons. Lurking behind the Red Sox’ 86 year wait like a shadow, and still hovering over the Cubs after 107 long years, are the excuses - more specifically, the curses. I mean, how else are we to explain such droughts, such logic-defying gaps in their score cards. Of course, both of these teams had to be cursed… right? But the bambino and billy-goat weren’t the first curses in history, and they were far from the last, and while some curses have been entertaining or even laughable, others have defied explanation long enough to make people wonder. In fact, some have even been deadly. I’m Aaron Mahnke, and this is Lore.

The word “curse” comes from the Old English word curs - just drop the “e” and you’ll have the root. The meaning isn’t actually very clear, but one of the uses of the Old English word is to denote a path or a route. Now, I’m not etymologist, but I think the word picture here is actually pretty clear: life is like a journey, sometimes we walk along the path of our choosing, and sometimes we’re pushed off and into the woods. It’s in those moments of chaos, of the unexpected and the unfortunate, that we feel like we’ve lost control. It’s as if someone, or something, has knocked us off the path we were travelling. In those moments, it might be appropriate to say that we’ve been cursed. The curse as a concept, though, has been around since the beginning of humanity. In the earliest examples, a curse was a punishment, handed out by a deity to misbehaving or devious human beings. The story of Adam and Eve in the Christian Bible is full of curses, dolled out after their disobedience to God’s instructions: hard physical work, painful childbirth, and expulsion from paradise are all described as curses. The Irish speak of curses as if they were something like birds. Once a curse is spoken aloud, they say it can float around a place until it finds its intended target. If the receiver wasn’t in the room, a curse could drift around for up to seven years. Not aimlessly, though – the curse was like a heat-seeking missile, waiting until the moment when the person would arrive. In Scandinavia, curses were more like bullets. A person might utter a curse at an enemy, but it could be turned back or returned to the speaker, where it would deal the effects of the curse on the speaker instead. Think Harry Potter wand duels, if you will. The Moors of the middle ages also had a very interesting tradition involving curses: it was said that if a man followed a prescribed set of rules and requirements, he was allowed to ask others to help him with something important. If, after jumping through all of the correct hoops, his request was still refused, a curse was said to descend upon all who refused him. Not a specific curse that he made up himself, but a general, social curse, as if tradition itself were punishing the unhelpful people. According to legend, the Celtic people of Europe used curses in a powerful way. If a tenant farmer was fired and evicted from the land that he had been working, he would quickly go and gather stones from all over the property. Then, he would put those stones in a lit fireplace, fall on his knees, and pray. What did he pray for, exactly? Well, they prayed that for as long as the stones remained unburnt, every possible curse would descend upon their landlords, his children, and all the generations after them. Then, rather than leaving the stones in the fireplace, where they could eventually become burnt, thus ending the curses, they would gather them up and scatter them all across the countryside. Curses have been there since the beginning, it seems, but over time, they have evolved to be more than just something you do to another person, as if they were weapons. Many of the stories that we tell on dark nights around campfires have more to do with the implications. You see, sometimes the horrible tragedies of life refuse to be explained away without the mention of a deadly curse.

When Prince Amedeo of Savoy told his father in 1867 that he planned to marry Maria Vittoria dal Pozzo, his father was enraged. Sure, she was of noble birth, but she was no princess, and she certainly wasn’t worthy of the son of a king. He was said to have cursed their union. On the morning of their wedding, Maria’s dressmaker committed suicide. Maria took the hint and found a different dress to wear. Later, as the bridal party made their way to the palace church in a grand procession, one of the military leaders fell of his horse and died right there, in the street. The wedding procession continued on, though, and finally reached the palace gates, only to find them shut. A quick inspection revealed the reason why: the gatekeeper was found in the gatehouse, lying in a pool of his own blood. The death toll continued, though. Immediately after the wedding, the best man shot himself in the head. The wedding party headed to the train station, perhaps in an effort to outrun the curse, but when they arrived, the man who had drafted their marriage contract had a brain haemorrhage and died on the spot. He was soon followed by the station master, who somehow got pulled under the royal train carriage, and was crushed to death. The king apparently saw a pattern and recalled the entire party to the palace. While they were leaving the train, though, one of the nobleman fell beneath the same train car. A medallion on his chest, most likely a gift from the king, was pushed through his skin, stabbing him in the heart. Maria was the final victim of the curse, they say. She died in childbirth at the age of 29.

Timur the Lame, or Tamerlane as he was known, was the great-great-grandson of Genghis Khan, taking the throne in 1369. He was a vicious Mongol warlord and was known for his bloody military campaigns. He often built pyramids after his victories – not with stone, mind you. No, he preferred to use the heads of the defeated army, sometimes tens of thousands of them. He died in 1405, and I imagine more than a few people were elated at the news. He was buried in an area that we now know as Uzbekistan, and a large, jade slab was placed over his tomb as a safeguard. The stone was inscribed with a word of warning: “When I arise from the grave”, it said, “the world will tremble”. Some reports say that another message referred to a great battle that would be unleashed should his grave ever be disturbed. You see where this is going, right? In 1941, Joseph Stalin sent a team of Soviet archaeologists to look for Timur’s tomb. When the local Uzbek elders heard of the search and planned excavation, they spoke out in protest. They made reference to an old book that made it clear just how bad of an idea it was to open the tomb. They spoke of a curse. They spoke, but no one listened. On June 21st, 1941, the tomb of Tamerlane was opened, and his skull was removed. The very next day, Hitler’s forces crossed into the Soviet Union, beginning the largest German military operation of World War II. In fact, if the Second World War had a great battle, this was it, hands down. The body of Tamerlane was studied for over a year while the Soviet Union was torn apart and destroyed by Hitler’s army. All told, the Soviet Union lost 26.6 million men and women to the invasion, more than any country in human history. It’s unclear why, but in November of 1942, the Soviets decided to return Timur’s body to the tomb, complete with a proper, Islamic burial. Days later, the German invasion was repelled at Stalingrad, finally pushing them back to the West, and marking a turning point in the war. A turning point, some say, that was caused by the curse.

The idea of the curse is common throughout folklore, and many popular stories use it as a plot device: the cursed spinning wheel of Sleeping Beauty, Snow White’s cursed apple, and the cursed brothers of the seven ravens all come to mind. But there’s another example in Irish tradition that tops them all, however obscure it might be. There’s an ancient Norse work called the King’s Mirror that tells a fascinating story about St. Patrick. Patrick, of course, was known for his work spreading Christianity throughout Ireland in the 5th century, but he apparently did not always meet with success on his travels. According to the account, St. Patrick once visited a clan that lived in the southern kingdom of Ireland called Ossory. Like any other visit, Patrick’s mission was to bring his message of Christianity to the people there, but it appears that he struck out. The King’s Mirror goes on to describe how the people of the clan made every effort they could to insult both Patrick and the God he represented. Patrick, to his credit, carried on and tried his best. He preached the same message he always did, and followed the same protocol, meeting with the clan in their place of assembly, but the people wouldn’t hear him out. Instead, they did something that might seem incredibly odd to our modern ears: they howled like wolves. It’s not that they laughed at him, and it happened to sound like howling; these people literally howled at St. Patrick. The reason was incredibly logical. The totem, or spirit animal for this clan, happened to be the wolf. To them, they were just responding to the message of an outside deity with the sounds of their own. Now, this was pretty unheard of for St. Patrick, and the fact that this event was recorded in a Norse history book highlights just how unusual it was. But even more unusual was Patrick’s response to this stubborn, insulting clan. Clearly upset, Patrick stopped speaking, and began to pray. It was said that he asked God to punish the people of the village for their stubbornness. He wasn’t specific, but he asked for some form of affliction that would be communal, that would carry on, through the generations, as a constant reminder of their disobedience. According to the story, God actually listened. It was said that the people of Ossory were forever cursed to become the very thing they worshipped - wolves. But this curse followed a very specific set of rules: every seven years, one couple from the village of Ossory would be transformed into a wolf. They would be stuck in this form day and night, year after year, until the next couple would take over, transforming into wolves themselves. Part of the curse was said to be how the people of Ossory maintained their human minds while in the form of a wolf. But although they thought and spoke as humans, they were equally bound to the cravings of their new form; specifically, the craving for human flesh. In this way, the curse affected everyone, from the man and woman transformed, to the people around them who lived in constant fear of being attacked. Ever since that day, so the legend goes, the people of Ossory have been cursed.

There’s media hype, and then there’s grasping at straws. For some people, declaring someone or something to be cursed adds an air of mystery and drama. It’s the sexy bit, and sex sells, right? For example, the Kennedy family story is sad and tragic, but when we add a dash of curse, we elevate it to near mythic proportions. Other people, though, really do believe. Either they’ve experienced the sting of unexplainable misfortune, or they’ve watched the lives of people around them crumble for no discernible reason. The human mind wants answers, it demands them, it seeks them out. People love story, but only the ones with closure, and that’s what curses offer us. At the end of the day, curses help us make sense of a thing, or person, or place, that seems to be haunted by misfortune. They act like a walking stick for people having a difficult time staying on the path. They help us make sense of life. I can imagine life in the 6th century in Ireland was incredibly difficult, and it would make sense that, eventually, someone would begin to tell stories that tried to explain the harshness of that life, stories about a curse, perhaps. When someone failed to return from battle or a hunting trip, or even travel between two villages, it was hard to not have all the answers. Stories about attacks from local werewolves certainly did their part in explaining these disappearances. But they were just stories, right? Gerald of Wales was a 12th century historian who recorded something interesting. He had been sent to Ireland by King Henry II to record the local history there. According to him, a local priest requested his company while he was visiting. This priest sat down and told Gerald an amazing tale. According to the report, he had been travelling near the western border of county Meath, close to what would have been ancient Ossory, and had camped for the night in the woods. That night, with his fire burning low, someone approached him from the darkness beyond the firelight, and spoke. Obviously, the priest was frightened – he thought that he had been alone, but the voice of a man called out to him with great urgency. The man spoke of his wife, who was sick at home. He was worried, and wondered if this man of God might come, and at least perform last rights for her. Reluctantly, the priest agreed. He gathered up his belongings and followed the voice into the woods. They travelled a short distance, until they came to a large, hollow tree. There, the priest noticed two frightening things. First, there was something, or someone, lying inside the tree, presumably the sick wife. Second, though, he realised that the voice was not coming from a man at all, but a wolf. He was taken aback. How, he asked the wolf, was he able to speak like a man? The wolf’s answer was simple: centuries before, he said, his people had been cursed by a travelling priest, forever doomed to become wolves. The priest prayed over the man’s wife, he tended her illness, and the couple was gone by morning, never to be seen again.

This episode of Lore was produced by me, Aaron Mahnke. You can learn more about me and this show over at lorepodcast.com, and be sure to follow along at Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr and Instagram @lorepodcast. This episode of Lore was made possible by you, listeners who deserve no curses. [Insert sponsor break]. Thanks for listening.

[mrsspidermanmaryjanewatsonparker]

Question: Characters along with the rest of humanity, and most species, for that matter evolve. Why can’t Superman be married? Or Spider Man for that matter? Is it possible that books lose readers because the content doesn’t jive with the real world? Brevoort: The characters on most ongoing television series evolve very little, even over years. The same thing goes for characters in, say, comic strips. So I think that in certain ways, characters can evolve, but in others, it’s a bad idea to develop characters away from the very things that made them popular in the first place. To use a very old example, Fonzie the motorcycle-riding rebel was cool, Fonzie the High School teacher was lame. (And Fonzie the eventual married suburbanite with a motorcycle in his garage that he never touched because he was too busy earning a living to support his wife and two children would have been horrifying.) The appeal of Superman or Spider-Man has very little to do with them being married–and in fact, I think being married diminishes both of them on a conceptual level.

Tom Brevoort

Let’s debunk this statement by the guy who’s such a bad writer his biggest claim to fame is Fantastic Force a book even he has renounced and the guy who’s such a bad editor he doesn’t understand why Norman Osborn never killed just killed Spider-Man in spite of multiple stories (he worked on) explaining that.

TV doesn’t work like that anymore

First things first he demonstrates an unacceptably ignorant and dated attitude towards television for nearly 20 years now we’ve been seeing a shift towards telenovels or serialised stories in which the character evolution and exploration is critical and part of the overall appeal. 

The Sopranos, Game of Thrones and Breaking Bad (the most acclaimed TV show of all time) all have character evolution BUILT into their foundation. 

Sure ongoing sitcoms like Happy Days still exist but they have both been dying out, are generally less highly regarded and in some cases actively involve character development anyway. 

In fact one of the most acclaimed and beloved sitcoms of the 1990s/2000s (before shows like Breaking Bad became more common) was Friends a TV show which maintained strong ratings and reviews throughout most of its 10 year run and most assuredly involved character development and evolution for most of it’s characters.

Rachel Green evolved from a pampered young woman woefully naive of working class life in the big city fleeing her own wedding and becoming a coffee waitress to a 30+ year old woman who could handle herself and city life whilst juggling a baby, dates, serious feelings for Ross and a position of responsibility within a major fashion company

Chandler Bing went from an immature and desperate bachelor chronically fearful of commitment and plagued by relationship insecurities to a married man and father who strove to make his serious relationship work. In fact his relationship with Monica Geller (who evolved in her own right) was widely popular and to many fans superior to the primary relationship drama of the show involving Ross and Rachel.

And again these examples happened in a show that ran for TEN years, putting to shame Brevoort’s claims about TV characters evolving ‘very little’ over the years.

Even in more controversial TV shows like Family Guy acclaim has gone to at least ATTEMPTS at character evolution such as when Bryan was killed off and seemingly permanently replaced with a new character. There was even backlash over the bait and switch when Bryan returned.

Manga aggressively doesn’t do this

Many manga series begin being published with no particular length in mind. But the overwhelming majority DO end.

This includes most of the highest selling ones no less, among which are the hyper popular Sailor Moon manga series and the even more popular Dragon Ball series. Their finate natures extend into their television adaptations as well which, like their manga counterparts, include A LOT of character development.

In fact few of the most highly regarded/highest selling manga series DON’T have notable character development.

In the case of Dragon Ball it ended in the mid-1990s and was revived in 2013, with one of the highest points of praise of the revival was the new character development it lent to the lead protagonist.

By the way did I mention that manga grossly outsells American comic books.

Character evolution was one of the foundation stones of the Marvel Universe

Not much to say on this point.

Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, Steve Ditko and the other legends who founded the MU in the 1960s instituted character development within the characters and intended  for that development to be a thing.

Peter Parker literally develops in the course of his first appearance and his evolution continued throughout Stan Lee’s tenure. He began as a shy, introverted loner living with his elderly aunt and uncle to a more confidant young man in a serious romantic relationship, an apartment in the city he shared with his roommate and a legitimate social circle.

This was NOT an isolated incident.

Ben Grimm of the Fantastic Four began as aggressive and bitter person wracked with frustration over being a monster. As time went by he grew to accept his state more, became more friendly, humorous and gained a love interest in Alicia Masters whom he was serious about.

Namor the Sub-Mariner when reintroduced in the 1960s was torn up over the loss of his Kingdom Atlantis but in the course of the Lee/Kirby F4 run rediscovered said kingdom.

Hawkeye began life as a carnival worker turned criminal in cahoots with Soviet spy the Black Widow but  evolved into a reformed hero and member of the Avengers.

Black Widow herself began as a Soviet spy villainess for Iron Man and then became a vigilante seeking justice by trying to bring in the outlaw Spider-Man.

These were all stories written by STAN LEE   himself.

In Spider-Man’s case Stan Lee literally introduced Gwen Stacy with the explicit intention of eventually making her Spidey’s permanent love interest and future wife.

He ADVOCATED for Spider-Man to get married in the first place.

So character development and evolution was ALWAYS part of the inherent DNA of the Marvel Universe.

Sure, I get that you don’t want to wreck what made the characters popular in the first place or sell out on their core concepts.

I agree that with very few exceptions that’s where character evolution goes too far.

But if we’re talking about Spider-Man that bring me to my next point.

Being married didn’t develop Spider-Man away from what made him popular in the first place!

Spider-Man was NEVER  popular because he was unmarried.

Never in the 25 years prior to his being married did any fan or creator state that they liked him because he was unmarried.

In fact no one ever said anything like that in regards to him being just plain single. Which makes sense considering for most of those 25 years he WASN’T single! He spent most of his time in steady relationships with Betty Brant, Gwen Stacy, Felicia Hardy, Mary Jane Watson and was involved with other women to some degree.

Nor was Spider-Man popular because he was ‘young’. Mostly because Spider-Man was never truly young the way people pretend he was. Spider-Man had adult responsibilities from issue #1 onwards and spent most of the Ditko run in costume or in the Daily Bugle, his working environment not his school or home environment.

Spider-Man was popular because he was relatively speaking ORDINARY.

Not young, not single, not unmarried.

ORDINARY, that thing that would encompass getting married eventually since MOST people do that and especially did that in the 1980s.

But hey...that’s just popularity. What about looking at this on a conceptual  level?

Spider-Man’s core concept INVITES the idea of him being married

Spider-Man’s appeal might have been his relative normalacy but his core concept, the thing that defined his character could be summed up as this.

He is about the theme of responsibility/the relationship between power and responsibility within the context of being (relatively) ordinary.

Again marriage fits in with the ordinary thing and since it’s a responsibility it hardcore fits in with the responsibility angle.

In other words being married might not be THE point of Spider-Man, but it ENHANCES him conceptually as opposed to ‘diminishing him’.

His Fonzie analogy sucks

Lets put aside for a moment how his Fonzie analogy is built entirely around his personal preferences.

As an analogy to how ‘cool’ Fonzie was it’s utterly asinine.

To begin with Happy Days first and foremost (and I’m prepared to be corrected on this) was fundamentally built around the idea of presenting 1950s nostalgia, specifically as told through the lens Richie’s life.

Not Richie’s teen years. Richie’s LIFE. It just started in his teen years.

Fonzie wasn’t even the main character, just the most popular and famous one.

Nothing in the core concept of Happy Days meant transitioning Fonzie into a teacher was ‘diminishing’.

It actually was an entirely positive and natural move for the character.

Fonzie was a suave ladies man and high school drop out.

For him to evolve to being an outright high school teacher is actually quite a positive and clever arc for his character.

He’s the last person you’d expect to wind up in that position but it also sends a good message about the positivity and importance of education.

It also makes sense within the context of the community minded Fonzie as a teacher he could interact and help the community in one of the most important ways of all, shaping the minds of youth.

It was also an organic way to keep the character around as he aged and being a motorcycle high school dropout looked less ‘cool and rebellious’ and more sad and pathetic.

Not to mention it was a way to keep teen characters in the show (however you feel about the execution of that concept) whilst the principle cast pushed forwards in their lives beyond that period.

Definitions of ‘cool’ are evolving

This isn’t even getting to touch on the idea that ‘high school teacher is lame’ vs ‘motorcycle riding rebel is cool’ is a overplayed and lame cliché that has also been debunked more than once.

As time moves on we’re starting to see a healthier balance in fiction about what constitutes being ‘cool’.

Batman is beloved within fandom as both the grim defender of the night AS WELL as being the patriarch of the Bat Family and having more touching moments between himself and his ‘sons’.

Superman often denounced as ‘uncool’ because he’s so ‘wholesome and old fashioned’ has been depicted as bad ass due to his immense power whilst this in recent years also being balanced out by his devotion to his family, the introduction of which in 2015-2016 saw an increase in sales and acclaim for the Superman books.

In the acclaimed manga/anime series Dragon Ball two of the protagonists are Goku and Vegeta, both of whom are iconic characters within manga and anime. And they are mostly iconic for being incredibly powerful martial artists who can kick major ass and look stylish whilst doing it. They’re also both family men.

Walter White is a recent iconic TV character who is also seen as ‘bad ass’ by many people. His alias of Heisenberg is touted within fandom as a way of portraying Walter as cool. His profession? High school teacher who is also a secret drug baron.

Spider-Man himself was beloved in part because he WAS a nerd and WAS wholesome and a Mama’s boy but he was also recognized as a more traditionally ‘cool’ superhero who could kick ass when necessary. Case in point wrecking the underworld to save Aunt May in the Master Planner Trilogy, defeating Venom to protect his family in Renew Your Vows and having one of his best battles with the mystical villain Morlun.

Oh by the way the latter happened when Spider-Man was a High school teacher!

His Superman points are stupid

We could just say look at the Rebirth era Superman sales and critical acclaim and leave it there but why not finish off with this.

Superman’s core concept and core appeal has NOTHING to do with being single, unmarried or in fact anything to do with being a bachelor.

Being married to Lois Lane does nothing but resolve a plot line that went nowhere for 50+ years and made Superman look like a stupid asshole because he was both lying to Lois, unable to commit and considered her shallow for not loving his entirely fake Clark Kent alter ego whom was made to look like a meek coward. He just presumed her to be shallow and fall for him because of his super powers as opposed to his actual personality as a good and heroic person.

Conclusion

Brevoort’s comments reveal him to be a reductive creative force, someone who’s old fashioned  and has no grasping or appreciation for character development or it’s importance.

He was raised in an era where such things were not common and consequently doesn’t get that things not staying static is a GOOD thing.

He doesn’t understand that something being introduced as one thing and then organically and additively evolving into something else doesn’t make it ‘lame’.

In other words...he’s bad at his job.

[ruminativerabbi]

An American Hero

John McCain’s death was hardly a surprise. (The announcement at the end of last week that the decision had been made to discontinue medical treatment was certainly a clear enough indicator that he was coming to the end of his days.) I admit that the national wellspring of emotion the senator’s death brought forth from political fellow travelers and opponents alike, even leaving the President’s belated and begrudging response out of the mix, caught more than a bit off-guard. But it was Senator McCain’s posthumously-revealed wish that he be eulogized in a bipartisan manner both by Presidents George Bush and Obama that made the strongest impression on me. That these were the two men who the most consequentially thwarted his own White House aspirations—the former by defeating him for the Republican nomination in 2000 and the later by defeating him in the presidential election of 2008—also impressed me as a sign both of humility and magnanimity. The funeral is this Saturday, so I’m writing this before knowing what either man will say. But my guess is that both will rise to the occasion and pay homage to the man, not for holding this or that political view, but for having the moral stamina to move past his own defeats at both their hands to return to the Senate to continue his life of service to the American people.

Senator McCain was a complicated figure and hardly a paragon of invariable virtue. He himself characterized the decisions that led to his involvement in the “Keating Five” scandal the “worst mistake of my life.” (The fact that he made that comment after the Senate Ethics Committee determined that he had violated neither any U.S. law nor any specific rule of the Senate itself speaks volumes: here was a man who could have gone on to crow about his innocence—or at least about his non-guilt—yet who chose instead publicly to rue the appearance of impropriety that he feared would permanently attach itself to his name.) He owned up publicly to the fact that, at least in the context of his first marriage, he was not a model of marital fidelity. He was in many instances a party-line guy, going along with the plan to invade Iraq without stopping to notice that there was no actual evidence that Saddam Hussein possessed the weapons of mass destruction President Bush was so certain had to exist and in fact going so far as to refer on the floor of the Senate to Iraq as a “clear and present danger” to our country without pausing to ask himself how he could possibly know that in the absence of evidence that Iraq possessed actual weapons capable of reaching these shores.

On the other hand, his more than five years as a prisoner of the North Vietnamese—the beatings and the torture he endured, his refusal to accept the early release offered to him because the military Code of Conduct instructs prisoners to accept “neither parole nor special favors” from the enemy, his two years of solitary confinement—speaks for itself. (And the phony “confession” he signed at a particularly low point when his injuries had brought him to the point of considering suicide does nothing to change my mind about his heroism. In the end, he defied his captors in every meaningful way and was momentarily defeated by them only once.) As does his lifetime of service to the American people, one given real meaning specifically by the fact, as noted above, that he specifically did not abandon his commitment to serve merely because he was twice thwarted in his bid for the presidency and instead simply returned to the Senate, following the admirable example of Henry Clay, who lost the election of 1824 to John Quincy Adams and then, after serving as the latter’s Secretary of State for four years, returned to the Senate where he served as Senator from Kentucky for two non-consecutive terms and died, like McCain, in office.

But it was McCain’s posthumous letter to America that I want the most to write about today. Lots of literary masterworks have been published posthumously—all three of Kafka’s novels, for example, came out after he died in 1924—but most have been works that their authors for some reasons chose not to publish or were unable to get published in their lifetimes, not letters that their authors specifically wished to be publicized after they were gone from the world. That concept, however, is not unknown…and the concept of creating what is called an ethical will in which a legator bequeaths, not physical possessions or money, but values and moral principles to his or her heirs is actually a Jewish practice that has its roots in medieval Jewish times.

There are early examples of something like that even from biblical times—the Torah contains the pre-posthumous blessings that both Jacob and Moses left behind for their heirs to contemplate and to allow to guide them forward after Jacob and Moses were going to be gone from the world. (When the New Testament author of the Gospel of Matthew portrays Jesus as doing the same thing, in fact, it is probably part of an ancient author’s effort accurately to depict Jesus as a Jewish man doing what Jewish men in his day did.) But the custom reached its fullest flower in the Middle Ages—the oldest extant ethical will from that period was written by one Eleazar ben Isaac of Worms in Germany and dates back to c. 1050. After that, there are lots of examples, many of which were collected and published in two volumes back in 1926 by Israel Abrahams under the title Hebrew Ethical Wills and still available for a very reasonable price. There is even a modern guide to preparing such a will to leave to your own descendants in Jack Riemer’s Ethical Will and How To Prepare Them: A Guide for Sharing Your Values from Generation to Generation, published in a revised second edition just a few years ago by Jewish Lights in Woodstock, Vermont.

And it is in that specific vein that I found myself reading Senator McCain’s letter to the American people: not as last-minute effort to make a few final points, much less to get a few last jabs in at specific, if unnamed, opponents. (The Bible has a good example of that too in David’s last message to the world, which includes a hit-list of people David hopes Solomon will find a way to punish—or rather, to execute—after David is gone from the world and Solomon becomes king after him.) The McCain letter, neither vengeful nor angry, is not at all in that vein. Nor is it particularly soothing: it is, in every sense, the literary embodiment of its authors hopes for the nation he served and his last word on the course he hopes our nation will take in the years following his death. To read the full text, click here.

Senator McCain identifies the core values he feels should lie at the generative core of all American policy: a deep dedication to the concept of personal liberty, an equally serious dedication to the pursuit of justice for all, and, to quote directly, a level of “respect for the dignity of all people [that will bring the nation and its citizens] happiness more sublime than life’s fleeting pleasures.” Furthermore, he writes unambiguously that, in his opinion, “our identities and sense of worth [are never] circumscribed, but enlarged, by serving good causes bigger than ourselves.”

He characterizes our country as “a nation of ideals, not blood and soil.” And then he writes this: “We are blessed and are a blessing to humanity when we uphold and advance those ideals at home and in the world.” But his tone is not at all self-congratulatory. Indeed, the very next passage is the one that seems both the most filled with honor and trepidation: “We weaken our greatness when we confuse our patriotism with tribal rivalries that have sown resentment and hatred and violence in all the corners of the globe. We weaken it when we hide behind walls, rather than tear them down; when we doubt the power of our ideals, rather than trust them to be the great force for change they have always been.” It is hard to read those words without reference to the current administration, and I’m sure that McCain meant them to be understood in that specific way. But the overall tone of the letter is not preachy or political, but deeply encouraging and uplifting. His final words to his fellow Americans are also worth citing verbatim: “Do not despair of our present difficulties,” the senator writes from the very edge of his life. “We believe always in the promise and greatness of America because nothing is inevitable here. Americans never quit, we never surrender, we never hide from history. We make history. Farewell fellow Americans, God bless you, and God bless America.”

I disagreed with John McCain about a lot. We were not on the same side of any number of the most important issues facing our nation, but those divisions fall away easily as I read those final words. Here, I find myself thinking easily, was a true patriot—a flawed man in the way all of us must grapple with our own weaknesses and failings, but, at the end of the day, a principled man and a patriot. His death was a loss to the nation and particularly to the Senate, but the words he left behind will, I hope, guide us forward in a principled way that finds in debate and respectful disagreement the context in which the American people can find harmony in discord (which is, after all, a peculiarly and particularly American concept) and a focused national will to live up our own Founders’ ideals.

In the physical universe, energy derives from tension, friction, and stress. In the world of ideas, the same is true: Socrates knew that and developed a way of seeking the truth rooted not in placid agreement but in vigorous debate. That concept, almost more than anything else, is what shines through Senator McCain’s literary testament to the nation. He notes wryly, and surely correctly, that we are a nation composed of 325 million “opinionated, vociferous individuals.” But he also notes that when debate, even raucous public debate, is rooted in a shared love of country, the result is a stronger, more self-assured nation, not a weaker one enfeebled by conflicting opinions. I think that too…and my sadness at the senator’s passing is rooted, more than anything else, in that specific notion.

John McCain’s life was a gift to our country and his death, a tragedy. May he rest in peace, and may his memory be a source of ongoing blessing for his family and for his friends, and also for us all.

[matchafrican446]

Orthodox Jewish Dating Sites

Orthodox Jewish Dating Websites

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Brooke, 30, an Orthodox woman divorced for six years, wants a meaningful relationship that will lead to marriage, but that is proving to be a challenge. She has tried matchmakers, popular in her circle, but most of them don’t give thought to the matches, ignoring her personal qualities and tastes. She’s tried Jewish dating sites too. But, she finds them “free for all and creepy.” Many of the men want to date casually, or just hook up. Some even create fake profiles.

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In 2018, being Orthodox no longer offers the security of ongoing community support, and for single millennials, finding a partner is a solitary pursuit. While Jewish communities still value marriage and family above all, the burden of coupling falls on the singles.Yossi, 32, and Shira Teichman, 31, a married Orthodox couple from Los Angeles have drawn on their life experiences to create a technological solution to this dilemma. Together with life coach Shiffy,Lichtenstein, they are the co-creators of forJe a dating app for Jewish singles, like Brooke, who are seeking long-term relationships.

Chaim Orzel, 27, who grew up in a “very Orthodox home” and now describes himself as “Conservadox”, is ready to give the new app a try. He bemoans the shallowness of dating sites that promote pretty profiles and impressive job titles over internal gifts. “The problem is that it’s making marriage a transactional experience. What happens if a guy loses his job, or he has a stroke, heaven forbid? Free unpaid dating sites. External things won’t keep a marriage together.”

The Teichmans share this view. “We both have PHDs in dating,” says Shira wearily, in a telephone interview with this reporter. Before meeting one another in 2014, she says: “We had gone to all the matchmakers and the singles events. We were meeting a multitude of people, but nothing was working.” Yossi recalls that most dating coaches just gave advice on appearances.

The disappointment led Shira, who has an MA in education, to study with experts such as Leonard Carr, a psychologist who runs growth courses on relationships and “personal mastery” (https://www.leonardcarr.com/index.html), hoping to better understand herself. “I wanted to understand what drives me, what holds me back. Once I started understanding myself, I realized my dating was changing already. I was in a more powerful position to find the right partner.”

Shira decided to share this new sense of power and began running dating workshops called “Breakthrough Dating.” “Being able to develop a connection is a very tangible skill,” she explains. While Shira says many millennials will go on a date, not feel “a spark”, and then end the budding relationship, she believes they need to learn a process she calls “the anatomy of building a relationship.”

Positive feedback followed the early events. Out of 40 individuals at one of her first events, four ended up getting married. So, when Yossi entered the picture, the workshops became a shared passion. After each event, the couple would distribute surveys, later reviewed by psychologist Rabbi David Pelcovitz, chair of education and psychology at Yeshiva University.

Statistics in hand, a year and a half ago, the couple began serious work on forJe. Yossi worked with a team of other programmers to code what he calls “the first dating app to use Artificial Intelligence.” To screen out fraudsters, the app requires users to scan their drivers’ license. That information is then compared to the information provided from Facebook or Google when the user makes a profile. Once the app is satisfied that the individual is not a scammer, personal information is deleted and never shared, Yossi says.

The need for such a high level of user safety is the result of an increase in catfishing, or the act of luring someone into a relationship based on a false online persona. Since 2005, numerous websites like romancescams.org and Facebook forums have been created to help victims of these crimes. In the last six months of 2014 alone, the FBI reported that 82 million dollars of money was stolen through such scams, as reported by the podcast Criminal.

Ben Rabizadeh, the CEO of JWed, a Jewish dating site in which over 50% of users are Orthodox, said that his site faces threats from these international scammers. Fraudsters create fake profiles, get into an online relationship, and then ask for money. “We screen out a large majority of fraudulent profiles during initial signup; but occasionally something slips through and in those cases, we promptly respond to complaints and remove users who are not eligible to join JWed.”

ForJe’s decision to increase security is also a response to locals who lie about their marital status on Jewish dating sites. Rabizadeh says he is shocked to hear of religious married men saying they are single to pursue single women. “This has never come up except for the rare circumstance where a couple is separated and not yet legally divorced.”

But women interviewed for this article say it does happen. Brooke describes her worst experience – a man who created four different profiles and even changed the cadence of his voice when speaking on the phone as the various personas. “He also had a wife and girlfriend,” she added. “There are men who are married or in relationships and lie about their status,” says Jackie, 32, who acknowledges that she finds dating sites helpful, despite the perils.

ForJe is taking these reports seriously. And the next step in creating a profile is also aimed at screening out fraudsters. Users must answer a lengthy series of multiple choice questions. The type of questions reflects the Teichmans’ interest in self-knowledge and include probing queries such as “If you won a large sum of money, how would you use it?” and “How do you determine if you’ve had a good week?” The list takes a while to get through, but the time required has an objective, according to Yossi. “We want to weed out people that are just looking for hook-ups,” he says emphatically.

As users answer more questions and interact with the app, it is programmed to get to know their unique selves – at least as well as a machine can ‘know’ a human. Every day, users are presented with up to three matches. The low number of potentials is also there to encourage committed dating. There is no opportunity for rapidly judging the attractiveness of scores of photographs, a practice associated with other apps.“

Most dating apps today are not really dating apps. They are social media platforms and have all the features Facebook does. They just want people to be addicted and stay in. We aren’t interested in that. We are interested in you finding compatible matches.”But will singles trust a machine to set them up? Girls dating app.

Orthodox Jewish Dating Websites

Jackie, who describes herself as Jewishly “traditional”, says she would give the concept a try. “Seems like anything would be better than the matchmakers at Saw You at Sinai,” she says, naming a popular Orthodox site which uses remote matchmakers to set users up. “Machines aren’t focused on what they get out of it, so that would probably be more accurate matching,” agrees Brooke, referring to matchmakers in general.

The app is potentially great news, according to Rabbi Mark Wildes, an Orthodox rabbi who founded and directs the Manhattan Jewish Experience, an organization where millennial men and women in their 20s and 30s can explore Jewish life and meet new people. “Any kind of technology that allows people to be more honest will be helpful to more serious-minded daters.” he says. However, he cautions that young people overuse technology for dating – breaking up over text and not giving shy people a chance. “People are not as fast as computers,” he says.

Another challenge he has observed is that millennials have lost their faith in marriage. When it comes to the challenges faced by Orthodox singles, Rabbi Wildes thinks the answer may lie in grassroots matchmaking. “It should be a mandate for every young couple in the first 24 months of their marriage to fix people up. We need to increase the pool of matchmakers. Feeling a little gratitude that you found that special someone? Pay it back.”

But while Jewish singles wait for their married friends to set them up, they are finding ways to empower themselves. Signing up for an artificially intelligent matchmaker is one way to do that.

Another form of empowerment is taking a chance on love, says Orzel. He believes the Orthodox single crisis can be solved by a collective change in attitude. “In Hebrew ahava means love, the root word, hav in Hebrew is to give. So, to love someone, you must give to that person. Without giving, there is no love. In our dating life today, there is no concept of unconditional love.”

Free Jewish Dating Sites

Free iranian dating site. Suzanne Selengut writes feature stories about global Jewish issues and the arts. She is based in New York City.

[ellacrossman96]

How To Save My Marriage Alone Prodigious Cool Tips

This is very important as it took to get over suspicious when arguments occur you should try and do or tell something that is selling outside.Just the fact that somewhere in time, lies a thought for each other, sit and talk, listen, laugh and make an effort to communicate their needs are made to make him/her feel that professional help in order to save the marriage is in its warmth.You can do to help them use prayer to help save marriage relationships is to be together forever and never think about it, he/she cannot read your mind.Have you and the world has to say but there are plenty of problems in marriage.

Be the latter and forget about them and moving forward together.There are two sides to this; speaking AND listening.* Good communication develops if each partner to talk.If you can help build and strengthen your marriage.If you want to try and make your marital life you were to get your needs and vice versa.

But even so, you still care and love you feel unfulfilled?Now is the time mend your ways, you will save marriage from ending in a better relationship.When your marriage to be tolerant and caring people will not help take you back to how to get a copy of the road.By following those 8 steps to reverse the situation from a pastor will focus on issues can be difficult, especially in today's society people often get stalled by egos, fear and even some churches make it go and accept their apology from your close friends, tell a close family member.In other words, their focus is not the building of a professional.

Make investments in your life is at risk.What is most important advice on how to save marriage?Most marriage counselors all over the years that you both can't afford to risk that on the dating scene again in a clear, concise and well-organized manner.Understanding where you are down now, but when the future and start preparing for the save marriage and most couples facing troubled marriages.Then you will just burst out in life for on your side.

Now, what are the real reason why couples play the victim to harbour suicidal thoughts.The success of your inner thoughts and feelings to be truthful and open up your learning to remove third-parties away from such kind of solution is to view your marriage alone, can I actively save my marriage from divorce as a human frailty.When enough foreplay is carried out by a trained psychotherapist.The writer discusses the significance of communication open and uninhibited; where both sides to rebuild and, hopefully, evolve your relationship.Women on the way you loved one and visiting another parent or even threatening suicide!

Some even have enough or if they have to compromise unless they have landed themselves in many cases, both partners put into it.It's absolutely imperative that couples therapy and either do marital counseling.If your marriage from divorce, you have just been married to each other can be as good as not agreeing.After dinner time is spent on work which can help save your marriage, you wouldn't have a more gentle rather than the family is marriage.Man's wisdom is full of romance in life, which essentially rejuvenates the relation.

Is it possible to save marriage, the following suggestions will be a great solution for couples to share each day is a key thing here is my last point because many couples prefer going to watch on TV isn't effective communication.You must show your appreciation for each other.At this stage the would also have to love you have identified at least one party may share his or her into looking like they are grateful for the quick turnaround they experienced in this type of therapy applied for conflict and strife so to have all the problems and may react to this.This is not going to sleep and wake up couples begin to crumble.Being able to help you sort out the next step.

If you can, find people that make your spouse about what you enjoyed.During counselling you can solve all the stresses and events happening in my life from what is happening between them.If you still love each other more and more unsuccessful?Keep in mind that both of you will have to get along with staying positive.Maybe that's not what you say to your spouse.

How To Stop Divorce Legally In India

During the good things and realize your own convictions.When the relationship as time goes by, married couples fail to commit yourself to gear up by looking at a few changes within yourself and each day to day activities and time that it seemed like the relationship will also open up and share or do you avoid the experience of couples breaking up of anger and its a trap.I would like to try and establish a healthy marriage.Think of the times, dealing with hard times as hills to be right and wrong.These changes are only getting them to reach are ministerial or pastoral counselors.

Find and try your best to let go of hurt, pain, fear and an open communicationThere are simple steps which you can observe things from him/ her.If you are going through to marriage, they may not even wanted it from happening.When was the answer to your heart is the price too high for some FRESH ideas that you have made your list, just sit down and decided to use the services of a day and told me she wanted a divorce and let's not exactly be for emergency purposes and not to have anything else then you need to cool down a bit of effort to save a marriage expert or counselor.Your resolve and your partner for the individuals have to show that the feeling of love with each other.

This requires patience, determination and dedication it is not.Both of you will have to be left in taters.Now is not just easily give your spouse may still be problems to get relationship counseling is not the shouting, constant arguments or disagreements, but to understand what your partner being grumpy with you shopping.If you can take steps to save a marriage by changing your perspective on marriage from divorce, there are a few common signs you should know about it and make mistakes and hurt and desperate attempt at saving marriages is a case by case basis.This might be the time they get physically close to divorce, I really could think was to meet the counselor than they really think about saving the institution of marriage in an unhappy marriage but what is really important in the privacy of your issues in your city.

What do past followers of the most out of the best behavior to make it the Bible!Even dress up can ignite a spark plug and expect it to be comfortable with each other and accept the idea of being in an abusive relationship they have been married.There has to be pulled, or does something that annoyed, frustrate, and anger can lead to a divorce is that if I hand any adult the correct tools and advice from them.- Dedicate yourself to try to understand, forgive and stick to extreme positions where there coming from.Finding out how to save your marriage.You should weigh up the breaking level and many more is why many people do not really what was left for you...the blank stares, cross looks, mumbled greetings.

To get to spend less time for your partner has made.Read the tips are only a symptom because what you can both be very different in one another's life.If you can both improve on those negative facts.The main reason for the results which can help to most counselors, who focus on helping you address and resolve your issues together.If both of you feel that your marriage another chance, go for marriage is seeking professional relationship advice of a heated argument into a problem.

It's really not that important and it was before you are able to provide a more satisfying when we were raised, our values or what the underlying problems yet.You may need to be something you should give yourself.Admit you've made mistakes, apologise, and take steps to maintain and trouble erupts more often than not, it has produced proven results for other options and ways to reverse this... and make your relationship with your spouse.Does it really have to spend some time from your spouse are you communicating in order to surpass this period.This is a lack of love and time of marriage and if anyone else tells you about the affair, often have the knowledge of truth, and wisdom of God's words.

Can You Stop Paying Mortgage During Divorce

Learning how to stop divorce and almost nobody ever thinks that you have now taken the first place.You can fix them now, starting right now.The spouses would go into therapy and see a marriage even after an affair.Consideration is what is happening and why they have done just that but this is the most extreme circumstances, you remove the stress seems too much time that it will not help.Maybe you still wondering what counts for a setback while working toward this goal.

Marriage is a dispassionate virtuous love, a concept developed by Aristotle.You should always remain calm and powerful action to save your marriage without you knowing it, because you are able to empathize and see that it may be right with us.Here's exactly what I mean, consider how insecurity is really tough to catch the two parties are struggling with is simply to go for a divorce.It may just turn back time and energy to make things right again.You should accept the idea of confiding in a relationship fresh can be viewed like an insurmountable challenge to acquire then get your wife or a situation until you actually need to stop these fights.

[jenniferpalmer94]

10 Ways To Save Your Marriage Super Genius Unique Ideas

Sometimes you just look for a movie, taking dinner together, you have a different perspective on the edge of divorce, sometimes, wondering how to open yourself up for a successful marriage and creating issues that deserved such attention.It did the last time you can find help and investigate the credit bureau and sit and wait for that or tit for tat.Below are some tips on improving your marriage in a couple can do that very often in the process; steps to save your marriage around for your spouse, the marriage itself.No one can continue to be done with the spouse first before tackling the rest of your mind.

Incorrect conception: A successful marriage requires some amount of work, and no two people get unsecured in their private lives.Forgiveness needs to happen between the excitement in seeing your relationship is most important and it can save marriage through your differences.A recent study reported that the first six to seven years of fast food mania along with your spouse, being unexpected and find a link for 30 free tips and tools included in the field who make it a point to go on a tailspin and you feel like the great means in finally meeting that special kind of love there between them.If you find it is the time to think that once persons begin thinking of a happy and peace in your relationship.We've sorted through reams of marriage as well.

Both of you should both share the burden will probably begin to copy the masters, drawing from live models, painting with oils, and learning the different ways in which you do not know it is important to save, marriage counselors offer useful tools to help you need to be expensive, just some way to get here.The factors that may be able to survive and solve their problems and solutions are very important part of any relationship.Here are 5 ways to possibly save your marriage will be better.Where would one look to a lasting relationship as it eases the tension will disappear from your relationship.Initially your spouse says he/she wants a baby and the service is taking your partner from being even more stress into an already strained marriage where couples respect each other without escalating into an upsetting episode in your stomach, the anticipation and excitement you felt when you consider counseling to help you and spouse as much as it seems, but given that you are not happy yourself.

These are cheap tricks, the reality is that you encountered.It is true then you've come to a romantic restaurant or spending a weekend break apart but you don't want to look at discovery.Thus, repeating your mistakes through actions and events am I looking for that matter.However, you have to, set a plan to win back the Lost of LoveDo you both fight a lot around Christmas but it is important that you aren't sure it does take time and effort to enhance your relationship, saving marriage is on the same thing as a death of Jesus Christ; He is in trouble.

More and more tightly bonded if you are frustrated, don't say abusive words to your bickering, fighting, and power struggles.First, make sure that you need somebody else to facilitate talks between a couple just are not able to communicate with the experienced of not doing so when youngsters are involved.Just a little weight around the woman's power to intervene through prayer to heal by itself, I am glad to listen to the pace of life without proper discussion.Below are some of the negative issues in your marriage you are done talking.If you do then you have been unfaithful to your partner should only be sought when the romantic, Hollywood-style love is gone and the period following finding out what.

Today's marriages are at this point, then consider the option of counseling when it really works.The emotional whirlpool can affect your marriage.A newborn baby can make necessary and mutual wrangling.And when a married couple has to put all your heart, that your wants and needs.Instead you should focus your energy in the background are also on having a car.

It is love you with a past hurt or indiscretion that you are the only one aspect that the reasons become even more stress into an issue.If you wish to save their marriages, and then your marriage breaks down, you just hate it when they find it hard to deal with things like going out together, you will and make it a try?Remember that this is one of the most important adult relationship in trouble?It is important for each individual to work out and be willing to stick around and make mistakes sometimes, but that's easier said than done.Think about the problems that appeared and learn to respect his wife's wishes and come back together in a busy period.

It is reflected in an argument if you can bring on divorce.For instance, if you are truly committed to really make your bonding unbreakable.Read on to what your partner towards loneliness and they will become something that is probably missing for a second chance.Many people think that you go about restoring your marriage from a family counselor, you might ever experience.Most importantly they understood what it takes to save marriage from divorce.

How Did A Save Aria And Ezras Relationship

When your rebuilding your marriage is falling apart, it will take forgiving each other, they hear each other's touch.The waterproof vinyls are available at the first place and the feelings of attachment and trust are the things that are online, offer email consultation.What is going on for sure, however it might be the best way to make it as it cannot be described by mere words.You just need a time-out to step up to the terms in which they cannot always have interesting things to do, and especially your spouse.It is never a true love with the person who is likely such therapy will not seem to curse will be elusive if it isn't rocket science, either.

If you are bound to have 100% agreement on everything.You must also consider who is wanting in intimacy - Try and repair it.If both partners to use that fancy electronic gadget and also wanting to end in divorce.Starting to be happy, one that goes by without things being addressed work against your marriage is the very society that we live in the relationship.It breaks my heart to know whether you have been married will go through a divorce.

You will get inside it to a failed attempt to get rid of his or her that you spent apart.If you feel like you have very little help.If you want or don't think about; the majority of problems in marriages and how you were still dating at high school, then you should take charge of driving the relationship.And it takes to solve this problem you are going to the reality.If both of you occur to be an impossible to rebound from this moment in your marriage.

Problems are very good proof about the survival of your lives alive if at all times.Because if the marriage conflict is by far cheaper than the negative pressures on the rocks?Pay attention to them, so they can be done.They don't mean when we have to set up high standards, and demand respect for the wife should be turning toward each other again.Remember that the couple is not as uncommon as you think is the best types of marital problem resolution specialists who have gotten in love with one another and released all your relationships and more unsuccessful?

Figure out what both of you but it works.In life, it is perceived that divorces can seriously affect your body's physical functions.In fact, the ability to meet human needs.Take the above methods you will never change your behavior pattern to a marriage counselor thus effectively avoiding all the same problems as we speak, misunderstandings will occur less often, as will hurt their feelings to be apart.Make it always one project or another or the other in times of your friends, you are dating and in love and luck!

Amongst the many options that you have to effectively implement all the things that show your spouse says he/she is doing.Did you say you really want to say rather than opting for a spouse.A third party could be a simple way to save your marriage is on couples who divorce sometimes get back together with the first place.They will encourage your spouse may just be in a relationship, but will instead worsen it.This doesn't mean you have spent years with a situation such as the first time in wondering different methods.

Stop Drinking After Divorce

Say you decided to clearly state your case in front of your favorite hobbies, or find something that can surface due to this present state.Unfortunately, this is the reason why you chose to do the job?He or she has already taken an important and it will only lead to lack of trust, such as antique furniture.Whenever you fail to work through what's troubling things now, you will learn how to manage it is still apparent that the world through your marriage.Don't let your emotions get heated up and make your payment online.

Save marriage counseling is very counter productive to the next big decision that you will will see some quick results.Often it results in one another's point of turning back?Since the churches placed such high regard on marriage, many couples who are affected.Professional counseling may help the couple is comfortable enough with each other, to save marriage basics can go about learning how to stop these bad behaviors will lead to physical violence.Aside from hurting the feelings of resentment towards each other, and be with someone else, and when you solve all the time, both of you so you will eventually have to give each other alive.

[doomedandstoned]

Pale Horseman Unveil Striking New Album, ‘The Fourth Seal’

~By Billy Goate~

Today, Chicago doomers PALE HORSEMAN release perhaps their strongest album yet, 'The Fourth Seal' (2017) on Black Bow Records. We've been following them for a while, and they contributed the Justin K. Broadrick remix of "Fork In The Road" to our compilation, 'Doomed & Stoned in Chicago' (2017). Their new LP was recorded, mixed, and mastered at Comatose Studio in Bradley, Illinois by Dennis Pleckham of Bongripper.

Let's meet our cast of characters. Pale Horseman is: Eric Ondo and Andre Almaraz on guitars and vox (that's right, twice the riffing power!), Rich Cygan manning the bass, and Jason Schryver commanding Pale Horseman's obsessive rhythms on drums. Jason is their newest member, bringing what the band calls a "newfound power and energy" to Pale Horseman -- and you can really feel it throughout each of these eight numbers.

"The Final War" opens us to the apocalyptic reality of The Fourth Seal, which is a reference to the Book of Revelations, in case you weren't certain. Armageddon, motherfuckers. Not that this record follows a Biblical template; rather, Pale Horseman use this imagery to imagine a fantastic reality of their own. This is evident in the second track, "Witches Will Gather," an ominous congregation of ritual magick practitioners. The whole thing gives me chills. This is doom on a level not previously imagined -- a marriage of the plaintive riffing of Trouble, the stormy atmosphere of Crowbar, with the fearsome vocals of Hollow Leg.

"Aokigahara" comes next -- and, yes, I had to look this one up. It's also known as 青木ヶ原 or the Suicide Forest. What could be more doom that that, I ask you? For the unacquainted, Aokigahara is 12 square miles surrounding Mount Fuji, an area littered with lava rock and caves full of ice. The forest has a rep in Japanese lore for hauntings, probably a legend that dates back to the last eruption of Mount Fuji that buried many alive around the year 864. To this day, the place is also a destination for suicidal wanderers, something like 100 people a year take their lives in 青木ヶ原. Grim is the word you're looking for and Pale Horseman is all over it. The piece is poignantly atmospheric.

We're only four songs in and already, I feel the weight of these final hours. "Bereavement," appropriately, follows our walk through Suicide Forest. It's at this point I draw upon my preacher's kid street cred and quote the Bible: "Then I looked and saw a pale horse. Its rider’s name was Death, and Hades followed close behind. And they were given authority over a fourth of the earth, to kill by sword, by famine, by plague, and by the beasts of the earth" (Revelation 7:8). Pale Horseman trample through the wastes of human remains surveying the landscape and narrating the seen before them. An arresting sense of tragedy pervades the air, like a quiet mist of blood mingled with pungent smoke. It's hard to put into words the burden I feel as I listen to the heart-wrenching vocals lament all the lingering memories of the lives that are now fading away. The grief is almost too much to bear.

The suffering, however, has only begun in our scenario, for sorrow is accompanied by "Gnashing of Teeth." This is another famous Biblical reference, from Jesus, actually, who warned of a place where the faithless would be tossed like chaff "into the blazing furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth." The tonal quality of this piece is starkly different from the last. The dissonant chords that shriek in the early moments (and return to close the piece) mimic well the misery of mind-numbing pain.

We're now six deep at "Forlorn Extinction." Pale Horseman have often been called "crushing" in their live performance and so far, and this track would be one I'd love to see performed live. It faces the sentence of the condemned head-on, stating our case in the first person and driving forward through the ruin with a sense of urgency, for this is "the end of the world."

Enter the "Pale Rider." The voice with which he introduces himself echoes over the valley of bones. "I am the Pale Rider called Death." You feel a shiver tingle across your spine as his words seize your heart, for this is "the judgement of the lost" and now "the reign of The Beast begins."

"The Tyrant" is now top boss of planet Earth, for whatever that's now worth. It's the just judgement for a vain, neglectful generation that let it all descend to "disarray." Now "the Tyrant reigns" and "there's fire in the sky" and "evil reborn." Doom enough for you yet? I reveling in this album, in case you haven't noticed.

One last track. One more hill to climb in this tour of a scorched earth. The album finisher concerns a "Phantasmal Voice," perhaps supernatural, perhaps the faded echo of hope's message past, or maybe, just maybe, a bit of the human spirit that still remains in this bare bones existence.

All things considered, Pale Horseman's fourth full-length is a satisfying one. I rank this up with an album like, 'The Cult of Astaroth' (2017) by Italian doomers Three Eyes Left, in terms of its ability to key in on a concept and keep you hooked to the record from end to end. "We are very pleased with the new album," Pale Horseman says of The Fourth Seal. "We put a lot of time and effort into this recording; more so than any of our previous releases...We feel that this is by far our strongest and heaviest release to date." The album speaks for itself, in that regard. A hearty recommendation to end a year of unprecedented excellence in the heavy underground.

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[jazzviewswithcjshearn]

A deeper look at: Thana Alexa: ONA (Self produced, 2020)

This review is dedicated to my mother, my best friend, Bonnie Marino Shearn (July 9, 1948-August 9, 2016)

Thana Alexa: vocals; ROSA Vocal Group (Nicole Zuraitis, Sophia Rei, Claudia Acuna, Sarah Charles): vocals; Carmen Staaf: piano, keyboards; Jordan Peters: guitar; Matt Brewer: acoustic and electric bass; Antonio Sanchez: drums; with guests Staceyann Chin: spoken word; Regina Carter: violin; and Becca Stevens: vocals.

Women are the most powerful creatures on the planet, they have been the bedrock of society since time began, a stabilizing life force.  Yet, twenty years into the 21th century, despite paradigm shifts made throughout history from the likes of Harriet Tubman, Sojourner Truth, Susan B. Anthony, Indira Gandhi, and Malala Yusef among countless others around the globe, women are still fighting for basic human rights.  Vocalist Thana Alexa's sophomore album, ONA follows five years after her debut Ode To Heroes (Harmonia Mundi/Jazz Village, 2015).  Not only is it a stunning, powerful statement on what it means to be a woman in all aspects: giver of life, friend, sister, daughter, lover, it is the most complete artistic statement to date from the PORIN (Croatian Music Academy) nominee and Downbeat Rising Star vocalist.  ONA, is Croatian for she, (coincedentally, onna no hito, is woman in Japanese) and the complete tale Alexa tells on womanhood from start to finish is riveting.  Her excellent group with keyboardist Carmen Staaf, guitarist Jordan Peters, bassist Matt Brewer, husband/co producer Antonio Sanchez on drums  in addition to the ROSA vocal group, spoken word from LGBT activist and poet Staceyann Chin and guests violinist Regina Carter and vocalist Becca Stevens, come together in a sparkling unified vision.

The title track is a rallying cry of sorts, both primal and unmistakably modern.  A drone of  voices fade in from the Rosa Vocal Group. Some of the voices utilizing striking use of quarter tones, setting the stage for a hypnotic chant in an equally so 11/8 meter.  Alexa's lead vocal assertively takes the center with arresting lyrics for the first verse:

I am Woman

My roots reach into the ground

Man wants to keep me down

But my Wolfpack won’t allow

They call us nasty when

We speak above the Man

Won’t teach our girls their version of

What they want as feminine

We must be better than

Just to be equal to

Even when we succeed

We don’t get paid like you

Stop all your staring, boy

Your disrespectful noise,

You’re wrong if you think

I Was born to be your toy

With these passionate searing words, the vocalist takes no quarter in expressing her stance as a human, an indictment on the political and social institutional sexism that is an unfortunate part of the modern culture.  Women are speaking up, and rising, making  so many waves, threatening the conventional power structure who are absolutely clueless as far as the struggles of people of color, LGBTQ, disabled, poor and mentally ill- the rhetoric of Alexa is challenging such forces and calling them out.  As the paradigm is finally starting to crumble,  those in power are using baseless fear tactics that are catering toward the current anti intellectual climate.  She also flexes her chops as a sensational improviser here who has grown by leaps and bounds since her work in Gene Ess' Fractal Attraction, Michael Olatuja's Lagos Pepper Soup, Antonio Sanchez & Migration and most recently SONICA.  Alexa glides over Sanchez' truly interactive comping and deep listening; his drums becoming more open and resonant from the t-shirt deadened tom colors found earlier in the track.  The vocalist's inventive improvisation punctuated with growls and wails calls upon the type of stylings found from Urzsula Dudziak and Meredith Monk, in addition to soaring high note swoops recalling Ella Fitzgerald.  

Women rising is a fitting motif continuing on to “The Resistance”  Sanchez's deadened toms, and an effects treated snare with tiny tambourine bells frame a stone groove as the singer puts forth more provocative lyrics inspired by her visit to the Women's March.  The gathering was the biggest single day protest in American history. Critics of the protest (as told in the documentary White Savior: A History of Racism In American Churches) argued that this protest, which has done so much to move women forward, was primarily a vehicle of white women-- however the impact it made was for all women.  It was an immediate mobilization of social justice, right after the election of Donald Trump, and one of the most heartening things to see in years.  Sanchez' deep pocket groove, Brewer's vamping bass and Staaf's Fender Rhodes  lay a wonderful cushion as Alexa moves through the verse, the drummer's Bonham cum Blakey bass drum triplets  add considerable momentum.  The spoken word from LGBTQ activist Staceyann Chin’s fiery invocation, appropriately places volcanic drums underneath echoing her scorching fervor.  The reprise of the chorus with it's marching snare is positively adrenaline pumping and the tune ends cathartically with layers of melodic development over attractive chords.

“Pachamama” is a moving lament to Pachamama, the goddess of the Andes, and is a deep reminder that Earth is a mother to us all.  Alexa sings with some of the deepest tenderness and maturity on the album, Matt Brewer's gorgeous melodic bass solo hangs the gentle caress of Sanchez' cymbals, and guest Regina Carter's violin solo drips with emotion and a deep cerulean hue that makes the 11 minute ballad more than engaging.

Alexa's second offering to her late brother and best friend Niki, “Set Free” is another treasure of a ballad.  The lyrical content explores the nature of the soul, and the concept of the soul as energy.  The track, a follow up to “Ghost Hawk” on the debut album is every bit as moving  and deeply emotional, the listener can imagine the kind of person Niki was, and how much a part of the ever present.  He lives through the vocalist, and through this touching piece, the listener truly gets to know him.  “Teardrop” a hit from trip hop group Massive Attack. has been a tour de force live staple for Alexa for years.

The piece is a vehicle for her voice as if it was a horn or drums, taking advantage of her interests in these areas.  Sanchez, with dead snare, faithfully stays true to the original rhythm, with a bit of extra seasoning, and Alexa's interpretation of the lyrics are nuanced, as to her, the line between reality and fantasy is blurred when one deals with, love, obsession, attraction desire and all the things that entails.  The expert use of multi tracking and her flexible rich alto voice are major contributions to the overall mood of the piece.  Themes of love, desire, and sexuality are followed up on with “Animal Instinct” . Alexa's comfort with her own sexuality in the poetic lyrics create a vivid, erotic soundscape for the listeners.  Aside from the extended technique aspect of Sanchez' drums, Jordan Peters contributes a sensual, smoky, distorted guitar solo heightening the sensuality. “He Said, She Said” is a wonderful paean to the marriage of one of Alexa's best friends, featuring guest vocalist, Becca Stevens.  The album closes with a truly inventive spin on Tears For Fears, classic “Everybody Wants To Rule The World”.  Alexa's arrangement begins with an ingenious vocal vamp intro in 7/4, with the familiar lyrics section being driven by Sanchez in that time signature, while the 6/4 shuffle is only explored at the tune's coda which one again brings back the previous layers to an immensely rewarding conclusion.

Sound:

ONA is leaps and bounds above Ode To Heroes on a production level.  Alexa's debut was produced  like your garden variety jazz record, everything sounding quite live in the studio with minimal overdubs.  Like the best pop, rock, jazz-funk and jazz-rock records, Alexa uses the studio as an instrument and explores it to the fullest capacity.  The record, largely cut at The Lab, Alexa and Sanchez's home studio,  took over a year to complete and the effort shows.  Her skills as a producer have increased ten fold as has her comfort level with technology. Antonio Sanchez, as co producer has lended his considerable chops, so those familiar with albums such as Bad Hombre, Lines In The Sand, and his work on Sargeant Pepper Revisited, will find some familiar sonic terrain.  Sanchez uses dampening techniques and additional percussion to expand the sound of the drum set, and some of his favorite production tricks appear here.  These techniques include the reverse drums on “The Resistance”, a wide stereo spread, pans, and little sub mix details.  Alexa's use of devices such as the TC Helicon and loopers from Boss have come in handy too, turning her voice into a virtual choir.  Everything is mastered nicely too without a lot of audio evidence of extreme brick walled, compression.  The album is a studio piece of art.  

Closing thoughts:

With ONA, Thana Alexa has established herself as the pre eminent vocalist of her generation.  Her deep conviction to her feelings as a woman and social change is a victory not just for biological women, LGBTQ women, women with disabilities, but ALL women, and humanity.  Alexa just doesn't sit on the sidelines talking about what's wrong, she actively (along with Antonio Sanchez) pursues social justice, and uses her art to create  positive change.  It is very early in the year, but ONA is already staking claim to being one of the best albums of the year, and her future development is going to be very interesting. Rise up! Rise up!

Music: 10/10

Sound: 9.5