#he should have been

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

i thought he was giving dazai the middle finger for a second

[plantsjustwannahavefun]

Me while watching Cucumber: "Man, I bet Con would have been great in this show." (somehow having forgotten that not only Con actually is in it, but I literally started watching it because of him)

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[haveihitanerve]

he was the first

oh the horror of that statement for every goon that got the newest robin first- the test dummy who got to see how the new one fought, how they handled, what was their attack angle, did they go up first or down, did they aim to hurt or to bring down, what was Batman's reaction to anything they did, what did they act like when Batman wasn't there. The goons live in fear everytime they hear of an "incident" with the Robins, dreading of course, Batman if he gets unhinged again if one of them died, but more than that, dreading how the new one will act, and having to learn from personal experience instead of just getting it secondhand from another traumatized goon.

The veterans still reflexively buckle their legs together when they're in the vicinity of the Red Hood, Jason had a habit of dropping low and hitting up fast and more than one goon has lost the ability to have kids because of it

They still curl their body just so and place extra padding on their sides, makes the impact of the pole hurt less against the ribs that way, the way Tim favored when he was Robin.

Those few knowledgable ones still cover their faces whenever the Spoiler arrives, too familiar with her affinity for bricks and headshots, her tally of how many goons she could get, all to crack a smile out of Batman when she screamed "Score!"

Okay so wait you guys all know that thing that teachers or parents do were they forget that they don't have to speak in like a baby voice all the time and accidentally interact with grown adults in the same manner they do with a child right? Okay so imagine that- but with Batman and the Justice League

Like-

Hal and Barry are arguing and suddenly Batman goes, “boys, thats not very nice is it?” in like a kid voice

Or Oliver is complaining about getting patched up after a fight and Batman chides, “You take the hit you gotta take the stitch baby,” 

Or Clark is mumbling something and Bats goes, “Speak up sweetheart, lets use our speech properly yeah?”

Or Diana accidentally punches a man in the face when hes already down. Batman tsks, “Come on darling, what did we talk about? One hit only.”

Or Oliver is leaving for a mission and Dinah kisses him goodbye and then he walks away, only for Batman to go, “Say bye bye!” 

AGDJFDYSGUKSRHGBDF

Just please imagine their faces for me.

And Batman grimaces lightly afterwards every time and just leaves and the League is flabbergasted

[artkaninchenbau]

Crocodile finds a strange stray cat an 11-year old Nico Robin (AU where they met 13 years earlier. Robin's been on the run from the World Government for 3 years. Crocodile's 27 and has not set up base in Alabasta yet)

It seems like I have become possessed. By some sort of demon.

Bonus:

[betrixxxed]

she said 👁️👁️

[autisticrosewilson]

Thinking about the newer bats (Duke, Cass, Steph, Tim) speculating on Jason's age because he looks like a recently divorced 30 y/o but he's younger than Dick, and he acts like a 50 year old man (he still has a Nokia, out of the loop on Internet and pop culture, primarily listens to dad rock), and after they've exhausted all their guesses Dick breezes in, informs them he's like 24, and then leaves.

The bats then have to come to terms with the fact that Jason was NINETEEN when he took over the criminal underground.

[mugiwara-lucy]

The MAIN reason I’m voting AGAINST Trump is because this guy is a legitimate THREAT to America. What do I mean? Let’s not forget he STOLE CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS FROM THE WHITE HOUSE:

What the fuck was he going to do with those? And when you couple the fact that he kisses ass to DICTATORS:

He is NOT someone we can afford to let back into the White House.

For the sake of us NOT becoming a dictatorship, please let’s all vote blue down the board.

SO MUCH that the votes won’t be taken to the Supreme Court because they will fuck us all over for him.

[thebibliosphere]

Still not over the head of cardiology, who said she wouldn't formally diagnose me with dysautonomia because she didn't want me to think of myself as disabled.

As if good vibes and a can-do attitude can stabalize autonomic dysfunction.

[flamingfoxninja]

Why does he look like George of the Jungle?

BRAD PITT as ACHILLES Troy (2004) dir. Wolfgang Petersen

[srfiv]

this is never getting finished

[havenshereagain]

DPxDC Idea

Danny working at Wayne Enterprises as some sort of engineer, uses the in-house app for all his blueprints and stuff

He starts getting notes from a coworker in-app, and assumes its this annoying older guy in his department who constantly undermines him because of his age, despite his education and past achievements (i feel like in this AU the Fentons react well to the reveal and they work together on a number of non-lethal ecto inventions that have Danny's name attached to them)

Except one day his coworker mentions never using the app, and Danny suddenly realizes there's only one other TD he could've been arguing with in the notes of the app

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

"You and me, Ethan. Together we go save Rose, and then we can grind Miranda into paste!"

[ace-robot-has-matcha]

Asgore’s entire character as a shitpost

[artkaninchenbau]

A h-heartfelt reunion..?

Bonus