#he sad and gay...true combo

[bxnnie-bxwl]

Somewhat of a request ish! (Congrats on 1k followers again btw 🎉🫶)

But honestly I've been thinking about your Evil!Bonnie AU and I've gotta know...(I'm assuming he kinda acts like two separate beings at times?)

What was his reaction to seeing Bonnie's room somewhat full of Freddy only merch? 💀

thank you so much friend!!!! <33 it really means so much.. and oh boy thank you for your request! <3

yes! evil!bonnie is like two separate versions of him.. normal bonnie is dormant within his code and evil!bonnie who was created from corruption by glitchtrap/malhare.. they share memories and quite a few of the same emotions. evil!bonnie have been through some abandonment and remembers the memory of bonnie before... and he feels lonely because of it.. and his feelings for Freddy being very much present but he was confused at first. once finding his old room and seeing all the freddy things he had, especially the poster, made memories awaken.. and feels those memories belong to him too and he wishes he could go back to them but knowing the bad things he has done and how he is now hes not sure if he can have what he had with freddy back... realising that maybe they wont have their forever and ever.... ):

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Gmmtv 2025

So now, that I have time, I'm actually gonna sit and watch the trailers properly. Let's go.

Dare You to Death - The plot is appealing to me, the cast is interesting. I was never a JD fan so if I decide to watch it will be for all the ensemble and the actual plot.

Head 2 Head - My babies! Forced cohabitation my beloved. I'm gonna pretend I didn't see the vision thingy cause other than that this just seems like a cute bl, and I'm here for that.

Burnout Syndrome - OffGun in a love triangle? Gun being fought over by two men just has god intended? I am so seated for this!

Whale Store xoxo - MilkLove is back and I wanna like this one. It seems cute, and drama light. I'll probably be tuning in.

Only Friends - Dream On - The chill that came down my spine when the song started playing. I left my body. With that said, and like I said before, EarthMix is here, so who am I kidding? I will watch. Kinda surprised to see JossFluke already paired in another bl, before the first one has even started airing. OhmLeng was predictable as a recurring pair and I'm always here for Ohm. Leng has a lot to prove being surrounded by all these names.

That Summer - MOND! Mond kissing boys! That's it.

My Romance Scammer - Not in a million years did I think we would get this OhmFluke combo. Dimples is back kissing boys and Ohm is just back. And MarkJunior seem to be here to stay. Also, I love that since we got gay marriage we should immediately tackle gay divorce. Sounds good.

Melody of Secrets - I'm glad they're back playing adults although the dynamic seems to be the same. I wish they changed it up and let Book be the pursuer. I like the horror elements and we don't get enough of those but I don't know about this one.

Love You Teacher - The first half of this trailer had me. I love Perth and he's playing a grown up so I was sold. And then it happened. And I don't know how I feel about any of it.

MU-TE-LUV - I guess we're getting this and not OurSkyy3. Will watch the queers and the rest we'll see.

Cat for Cash - This is just rude. Do they know that cats are my ultimate weakness? I can't watch all these shows, but a show with talking cats? multiple of them?? C'mon. I'm not even gonna pretend to be torn about this one. I will be watching.

Girl Rules - So, Only Friends but make it sapphic. I'm sad to say, I'll probably pass on this one.

Boys In Love - PAPANG!!! The rumours were true and he's paired with Pod in this. All I saw in this trailer was that and the dimples. Who is that kid? Cause he's adorable. This is the obligatory high-school bl, it looks soft and fluffy. Might check it out.

My Magic Prophecy - I will be skipping this one.

A Dog and a Plane - What a mess of a trailer. But do I care? Not even a little. It's TayNew so I'll be watching with bells on.

Me and Thee - This show will be the true test of how shallow I can get. Will I start a show because Est was wearing glasses in the trailer? Only future me will know. Look, PondPhuwin can play, we know this, but I don't know if I want another show with them so soon. At least they're playing different roles, so there's that.

Wu - Who was saying this wasn't bl? Did you not see the golden thread? And the fate talk? And the looks? And well, everything? It's a bl. I don't know about this one mostly because I don't know the actors. Although tumblr is doing its job well and I'm this close to binging the frenemies show so maybe I'll reevaluate.

Memoir of Rati - I am so easy, it's embarrassing honestly. They so pretty, the scenery is so pretty, historical bl. Sold!

Ticket To Heaven - So many flashbacks to catholic school. It looks good, which doesn't surprise considering it's Aof. I'm glad GeminiFourth are back playing more serious roles. I am really intrigued by this one but also don't trust it completely for some reason. I don't know yet.

Yeah, I'm a sucker. I will be watching most of the first episodes of this line up in like a year when they actually get made. Probably not gonna stick with a lot of them but we'll see. As it's becoming obvious, I'm easy.

Also just a fun fact I guess, and as @lurkingshan as said here, with these shows, 4 couples will hit 5 series as a pair. OffGun, FirstKhao, ForceBook and EarthMix, even though that last one I'm counting Ossan's Love which is also not released yet.

And another thing, of the Gmmtv 2024 QL shows, 7 have yet to premiere. Thame Po, will premiere December 13 but the other six don't have dates yet. They are : My Golden Blood, Ossan's Love, The Ex-Morning, Us, Sweet Tooth Good Dentist and Revamp. So yeah, we're not gonna see any of these new shows anytime soon. Although I'm putting my money on the OffGun series being one of the first to premiere in this line up.

All the trailers and posters for gmmtv2025 can be found here.

[missyourflight]

some stuff i read and watched in december:

the buccanneers: never really hit the heights i wanted it to and most of the cast was not great! but kristine froseth is always watchable and kate winslet's daughter is darling, most importantly scotland doubling for cornwall was beaut. as ever god bless apple for spending money on nonsense

slow horses (s3): i don't know when river cartwright became my shit friend i'm unreasonably fond of but here we are! jack lowden v funny this season and i don't think it's just because i've decided he should be lymond in the billion dollar apple tv series that isn't happening and probably shouldn't bc who else is even blonde (harris dickinson?? i haven't seen the iron claw yet)

monarch: legacy of monsters: i started this and then due to my bad personality decided i had to watch all of the ~monsterverse for context, therefore godzilla december. strong threesome energy in the flashbacks, can't argue with wyatt and kurt russell playing the same character decades apart etc, love a disaster lesbian in crisis etc

~monsterverse interlude: most of these were silly, godzilla: king of the monsters was actively bad, godzilla vs. kong somehow my favourite due to the askars/rebecca hall (long beloved) combo plus all the neon. hollow earth let's go baby!

tokyo godfathers: loved this! love miracles in the city during the holiday season, love to listen to three different podcasts talking about the nuances of trans rep in subtitle translation etc

godzilla minus one: godzilla december! this one made me cryyy, the godzilla theme goes so unbelievably hard, cutest sweetest baby in the world, was incredibly happy to be emotionally manipulated by the endings etc

not going to get into all the christmas film rewatches but: coward's edit of the family stone (repeat the sounding joy!), crying at both little women 94 and little women 19 as per, moonstruck forever, bridget jones' diary colin firth the most sexually appealing colin firth 2 me etc

the wind rises: catching up with miyazaki before the boy and the heron and straight into my ghibli top 3, the love story stuff absolutely floored me

how to have sex: absolutely devastating god

the boy and the heron: very weird and beautiful and sad - saw the dub (robert pattinson you wonderful freak), seeing again with subs this week

jon krakauer, into thin air: a personal account of the everest disaster: i got about halfway through the first chapter and had to stop and ask my dad what the hell he was up to trekking to base camp on his own in the seventies. gripping, chilling, tragic

rose lerner, sailor's delight: rose lerner one of my favourite romance authors (true pretenses i love you forever etc), m/m age of sail romance set around the jewish high holidays with SO much longing and yearning my god

lizzie huxley-jones, make you mine this christmas: fun christmas romance - fake dating but she falls in love with the guy's sister! - that made me burst into tears like five pages in for reasons entirely unrelated to romance or christmas. a 2024 project for soph etc

barbra streisand, my name is barbra: did the audio version so even sped up i reckon i spent at least a full day and a half with barbra. as ever the parts about making things and artistic choices were the best parts, i respect her energy re: including every nice letter or compliment she ever received (my version of this would be reproducing nice ao3 comments etc). wild to me that she spent like 3 decades beefing with larry kramer trying to adapt the normal heart (with bradley cooper at one point lol) but i have to disagree with her impulse to tone down the gay sex to avoid alienating straight people!!

i am not here really but i was proud i managed to keep these little roundups going through the year so. happy new year friends

[cainthewicked]

( MICHAEL YERGER, CIS MAN, HE/HIM ) CAIN RIGAL the TWENTY SEVEN year old is used to DISLIKE CHRIS. cain is said to remind people of working out to forget the pain, keeping your friends close and everyone else at arms distance, doing whatever is necessary to save a friend. they are known to be SOCIALLY AWKWARD and RIDE OR DIE.

basic information.

name: Cain Rigal . nickname(s): none that i can think of, but feel free to suggest ! birth date: April 19th . zodiac: aries . age: 27 . gender, pronouns: cis man, he/him . orientation: bisexual . relationship: single . family: tba, dad was never in the picture and absent lawyer mom . children: none . pets: a golden retriever named Hozier . faceclaim: Michael Yerger . hair colour: brown . eye colour: green . hair: wavy, well maintained. he also has a beard, which used to be bigger during the hockey seasons, but it's way shorter now . height: 6'3" (1.92m) .

classified content / secret.

Everybody that watched the match between the New York Giants versus the Florida Pirates saw Cain being escorted out of the ice. The rink was silent, you didn't need words to understand what kind of injury that was: a career ending one. He never quite got over it, so he did the only thing it made sense in his head: go back to his hometown. What people don't know is that he always knew his hockey days were coming to an end. Cain was hiding an injury for years, taking painkillers to hide the pain and pushing himself way more than he should. He could have taken a season off to treat the injury, but he was scared that if people knew about it, things wouldn't be the same anymore and he would be treated as an injured player forever. Thus, he decided to go down in one huge blaze of glory. Like Icarus falling from the skies, it's all or nothing.

personality.

Back in high school, he used to be a co-captain for the hockey team and was also part of the Gay-Straight Alliance, and is currently listed as one of the few openly bisexual NHL former players. Cain has a pretty active lifestyle, now replacing hockey with hiking in the woods and camping. His favorite time of the day is the night, especially if it's a full moon. If you only pay attention to his looks, you probably won't notice, but the dude is painfully socially awkward -- not exactly a combo people would expect from jocks, if they were gonna follow the status quo. He might look confident, but I guarantee you: nobody out there hates Cain more than himself. Which is horribly sad. The dude has countless self-esteem issues, so he does the next most logical thing: act arrogant, obviously. It's not as bad as it used to be when he was younger, since Cain now has hours of media training under his belt and can sport a likeable persona more often. Overall, he has a pretty dry and sarcastic sense of humor, opting to diffuse tense situations with jokes. Considering his role as a left-winger, Cain performs well under pressure and has a very analytical mindset. Sometimes, way too analytical. He's dead sure that people still dislike him, which might be true or not, depending on your muse. He has few close friends and struggles with asking for help, so he would rather chop off his own leg rather than putting himself out there.

relationship with chris.

Cain is claiming the wanted connection "A MEMBER OF THE CLASS OF 2014 WHO DISLIKED CHRIS". Their relationship consisted of bickering and some friendly fire at times, but nothing serious. Cain's mother was friends with the Wilder family and she always compared Cain to Chris. "Why can't you be more like him?", "You should study more", and "All you ever think about is hockey, what if that doesn't work out?". This made it impossible for Cain to have a good relationship with his mother and Chris, since she obviously seemed to prefer him to her own son.

[waitingformyfavoritesongs]

8:34 pmpdt 4 April 2023 Tuesday

I thought I worked hard in community college and intaglio printmaking and other stuff but I guess it wasn’t hard enough. I guess I wasn’t sacrificing enough. I guess I lied. I guess I’m really screwed. 🥶👹😓😵😞😖😭🥵acid under skin. 8:37 pmpdt too many excuses too many mistakes. I don’t believe that he spent any time with me. It was probably always a miñion. 8:38 pmpdt so many lies to get me to believe. 8:39 pmpdt I guess I deserve it. It’s sad though to be lied 🤥 to in that way. I don’t see how it would have been possible for me to have a real relationship with incubus. 8:40 pmpdt he’s proud of it. I think he took back the hair. 8:41 pmpdt e particle in Japanese is used when talking about direction/traveling? V=5=go bat 🦇 go? To gas ⛽️? Trying to understand. I guess that means his daughter is gas ⛽️ lighting me? His back w/ 2?crosses The second one made with dots = double crossed. Stabbed in back. Vampire 🧛‍♀️? I guess he’s calling me a vampire 🧛‍♀️ that he stabs in the back with a cross. 8:47 pmpdt intricate symbols?

9:58 pmpdt I guess I was too unrealistically optimistic. I thought 💭 maybe love 💕 is simpler in reality. If someone makes you feel safe, happy, and helps you maybe 🤔 you might start to love 💕 them. But if they hurt you, you will start to hate them. But I guess I didn’t think 💭 enough about it. Why someone might like me or you is it really more complex and hard to like someone? I was annoyed a lot and I thought 💭 maybe 🤔 I need to get used to them, is this how to socialize myself and start naturally adapting and start naturally liking people? I mentioned that to Q, but Q said it should work immediately/click immediately. No work. Maybe 🤔 she’s right? Idk 🤷🏻‍♀️. I watched a Korean dramedy I think titled legend of the blue sea 🌊? I think 💭 it’s based on reincarnation maybe 🤔 in a fictional way? Yeah. If specific dna 🧬 combos are ultimate matches and everyone is different then we would ultimately be more attracted to one person than another and that it would work out magically by Mother Nature. But that was when I started believing all the stuff incubus put online for me to see: (acid burning under skin. 10:08 pmpdt) soulmates stuff, the hair taped on the cookie 🍪 container that said baton on it, the videos in Instagram posts and stories, the bed 🛏 being fixed or replaced after I went for a walk with mom. I started to believe. I think it’s heinous to toy 🧸 with me like that Bcz I grew up 🆙 watching Disney movies and wishing for magic 🪄 and soulmates to be real. But I was hoping for a very attractive soulmate 😥😵 in high school 🏫 an older man came to talk to the whole school 🏫 said there’s no soulmate. There’s no the one. And that there are a lot of people you can be compatible with. And he even joked about one man 👨 impregnating the whole world 🌎. 10:13 pmpdt

10:25 pmpdt I guess I have been too naïve? Didn’t think 💭 enough. God gave a lot of people good reason to ignore me and not know me and assume everything he said to be true. Like that men are attracted to men so we should assume that what we see and know is real? Or if god really talked to you does he tell you he mollified an evil 🦹 person by making him gay???? I m trying to figure it out, otherwise I think 🤔 most or all people? Are virtue signaling and don’t mean anything they say? No one cares if someone else’s daughter gets raped and murdered Bcz god said it was ok, and Bcz it’s normal for guys to rape and murder it’s excused. So I guess I am and was really naïve... 10:31 pmpdt now I’m not. And I feel these feelings that I would have felt so ashamed to feel while I was growing up 🆙. So I’m going to die and no one will care Bcz it really is a dog eat dog 🐶 world 🌎 and incubus has no shame in feeling that way himself but he’s making it hard for me to know for sure. But Bcz it’s gone this far for this long I guess there is no hope for humanity. To be human is to be excused by god so you don’t have to care when bad things happen to people you don’t know and you will never know. 10:34 pmpdt desolation? God/incubus is trying to make me believe I deserved to be treated by Nick in that way. 10:35 pmpdt and I guess Scott. And everyone. 10:36 pmpdt if I really didn’t deserve to be treated that way it’s getting harder for even myself to know anymore even though I was a virgin until 19 years old. How confused 🤷🏻‍♀️ some gay people might be feeling now about themselves????10:37 pmpdt 10:38 pmpdt

10:42 pmpdt I guess I really don’t deserve anything. I don’t deserve anything wonderful and beautiful 😻 in my life. 10:42 pmpdt

10:43 pmpdt I don’t have much of a butt left. It’s almost gone. And the incubus gave me a rash on my butt. 10:44 pmpdt it’s really like *NSYNC sings bye bye bye 👋 10:45 pmpdt

10:59 pmpdt 11 pmpdt I guess Nick carter is more valuable than I am. More deserving than I am. I tried too hard a lot of times to like people that I neglected myself, I guess? Right hip pain 11:02 pmpdt I web searched and $35 million popped up 🆙 for his net worth. But I’m not talking about money 💰. What is the definition of a whore? I guess that’s me. No one who adores other rich people are not whores, even if they don’t know them well. 11:05 pmpdt

11:14 pmpdt sorry 😞 I’m angry. But I’m designated whore of the apocalypse. Desolation. Desolated. Loneliness is tragical? 11:15 pmpdt

🎶🎼🎵🎤🎸11:16 pmpdt

11:52 pmpdt incubus hates me. I’m dying 😵. I’m dying 😵. I’m dying 😵. I anticipate dying. I think he’s going to make me want to commit suicide. Soon. Already started feeling it. Which is why I’m begging him to do to it by guillotine. Bcz I don’t believe the nicer things he says anymore (acid pain skull 💀 maybe brain 🧠? Yup there it is. 😵😖😭 he’s really putting it inside more now. 11:55 pmpdt) I was too naïve. He is not faking it. This is heinous. I guess he thinks I slacked off too much even though I had difficulty focusing, difficulty remembering, difficulty comprehending. I took a whole hour I think I remember to read a not very small print page 📄 which was probably only 6” by 6” of a philosophy homework 📚 so I gave up a lot. But when I got help I was more likely to finish the assignment. The please read program. 11:58 pmpdt he’s killing my brain 🧠 with acid and abuse. 11:59 pmpdt I don’t trust god. If he cannot be straight, honest with me then I should assume the darker more heinous stuff he’s saying to me is true. I cannot believe him anymore. I’m afraid 😱 all this acid is going to make me fall. 12:01 am pdt if no one is themself, if we are all messed with like a gay man 👨 then what’s really wrong and right? It’s all lost???? So it seems to not matter anymore to god? I’m too naïve. 😞😖😭😫😩 12:02 am pdt

12:06 12:07 am pdt I am very dumb. For months I thought 💭 we could build parking lot structures and do additional farming on that. Idk 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’m not a farmer 👩‍🌾. 12:08 am pdt would probably need to put openings on each floor to let in sunlight ☀️ 🌞 sun ⛅️. 12:10 am pdt

12:10 am pdt I am dumb. Unfortunately, when incubus started showing himself to me he didn’t say he was god immediately. Now I’m concerned what he actually did to me December ish 2016. He did do a lot of stuff in 2022. So I guess that was the same thing continued. 12:13 am pdt everyone hates me! 🥵 my butt is roasting 🥺☹️😖😭 it hurts. 12:14 am pdt I probably won’t like what comes next. 12:15 am pdt

12:19 am pdt I guess I’m too much of a liar 🤥 and slacker. Incubus/god hates me. I avoided getting jobs by going to school 🏫 and now I wish I had a job rather than go to school 🏫. I tried computer animation one semester?, fashion design one semester, (left nostril 👃 pain stings 12:22 am pdt) silk smells like bacon 🥓 if you burn it. 12:23 am pdt I did painting 🧑‍🎨 one semester. I did 3 English classes. (Acid harsh pain 12:24 am pdt) I f I excelled at Java I would have continued computer 👩🏻‍💻 programming. But I did not excel. 12:26 am pdt vag pain. I don’t think 💭 there’s a purpose anymore to writing ✍️. There is nothing to fight for anymore. I’m a fraud. Happy? Incubus? I said what you wanted me to admit.

12:29 am pdt acid pain brain 🧠 I was thinking 💭 about typing 💬 about my fear of being in the public and talking to people but then the acid happened. I guess he doesn’t want me explaining why I was afraid 😱 to get a job. Now it feels like a lie. But I think 💭 I remember that was the reason. I got jobs at school 🏫. 12:33 am pdt ( left nostril 👃 sting). When I was afraid 😱 to get a job in 2015 I thought 💭 about what job I could do. I wanted a data entry job that I could sit a computer 👩🏻‍💻 and not talk to anyone but a boss I could appreciate. 12:35 am pdt I thought 💭 that way, I won’t get into trouble! No more trouble. But I guess I am wrong! 12:36 am pdt

12:58 am pdt I am barking up 🆙 the wrong tree 🌳. There’s nothing to fight for. Everyone loves Nick carter and incubus. I’m the odd one out. 12:59 am (acid brain 🧠 pain) whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. 1 am pdt I guess it’s a trap 🪤 to call him incubus???? But that’s the dominant theme of my blog when I write ✍️ about (acid pain harsher than before! Back of mouth 👄 pain) . 1:07 am pdt you were punishing me for talking against incubus and now you’re punishing me for going the other way. Damned both ways. I would rather not do anymore work Bcz people think 💭 they don’t have to do anything and that they have no problems. And he’s rich 🤑 so he’s one of them. I’m only picking a fight that I should not pick, right? So I’m withdrawing. WHAT DO YOU WANT???????!!!!! 1:05 am pdt they (the winning side ) has no problems with Nick carter. But me (the losing side) has a problem with him. WHAT DO YOU (acid brain pain 1:06 am pdt) want.

1:19 am pdt every time incubus hurts me especially my brain 🧠 I think 💭 I should think 💭 that he lied 🤥. That he lied 🤥 about being my husband. It’s obviously a well thought out deception premeditated? Planned waaaay ahead of time. Bcz my name transliterated is chavah with Greek letter nu. Essentially. Adam + eve. I had difficulty even premeditating? the layout/composition when drawing on my own a vase 🏺 of flowers 💐. I would usually hope for the best once I decided on a spot to start on the paper 📄. 1:24 am pdt dumb (acid pain right arm 1:24 pmpdt) guess I’m dead 😵. 1:25 am pdt

1:28 am pdt I think the other side is bored anyway right? They always get to have fun 🤩 doing movies singing and dancing 🕺🏻. They probably want to sing and dance 💃🏻 with Nick carter. So why rob them of the opportunity? 1:30 🕜 am pdt they love him and want him around. 1:30 am pdt

1:31 am pdt I’m poor. They’re rich 🤑. They are not dying. I cannot breathe half the day and in chronic pain. Left shin pain. Doctors 🥼 like them! Right?! (Acid pain brain 🧠 skull 💀) I was doing this for free. Why no one else trying anything? Even though they have millions? Oh, Bcz they invested in the phony finger clip oxygen detection machine that Amar malek probably created? To kill me? 1:33 am pdt bcz they’re all only killers not saviors?????????? 😱 1:24 am pdt is that why on Wikipedia it says he’s an English major at a different college completely different from what I originally read? Bcz he’s hiding that he know computers 💻 and cellphones 📱??? Did he murder Lauren !? Did he hire hitmen to crash into her to kill her???? 1:36 am pdt

1:37 am pdt did Lauren secretly give my cellphone 📱 to Amar malek? Am I spelling his name right I don’t remember anymore. 1:38 am pdt

1:41 am pdt bcz it’s all gods plans it’s hard to know whether I should be angry 😡 about it or not. Feels bleak. I (left hip bone 🦴 pain 1:42 am pdt) ribs hip bones 🦴 pain! 1:43 am pdt it’s a crime to murder. If Amar malek decided to kill someone who helped him, an art 🖼 and philosophy major what was his reasoning to convince her? And what was his reasoning to kill her after she got my cell phone 📱 willingly from me? Was it greed? But did he fabricate something (1:46 pmpdt pain bone skull 💀 bottom right). He was friendly with the incubus and gym class heroes 🦸‍♂️? Maybe “Brendan”? Did he realize his plan was flawed, & thought 💭 don’t give Lauren time to catch on that he lied 🤥. Bcz if he told her I was a bad person, why would a poor, bad person give their cellphone 📱 to a classmate she barely knew? Too trusting? (Pain pain pain! Right ribs 1:50 am pdt) I’m dumb so it’s possible I am wrong but I feel as if I’m being punished it’s hurting 🫁 lung flesh sharp 😖😭😫 1:51 am pdt) I was too trusting. Maybe 🤔 in lala land. What is lala land???? If I was smart I wouldn’t give my cellphone 📱 to anyone? I could be wrong. But why would I risk it if I planned to do bad things? Bcz I don’t plan to do bad things? Maybe 🤔 he thought 💭 this afterwards after it was done ✅. 1:55 am pdt so, he had to hide his tracks, by killing her. (Acid brain 🧠 1:56 am pdt) all of this is speculation. 1:57 am pdt incubus is eating my brain with acid I don’t like this. This is serious. I will be completely dead soon if this continues. It might make me fall. 1:58 am pdt

1:58 am pdt Amar malek is dangerous if he’s really smart. Computers 💻 are dangerous. 1:59 am pdt he could knowingly be contributing (acid hot spine 😤🥵😤🥵😤😥😤 2 am pdt hot 🥵 brain 🧠) to s*x human trafficking/prostitution. If he read what I wrote on tumblr and chose not to come forward, it is basically like admitting to it, and mthat’s contingent upon proving he was at UCB and maybe following me back to my hometown. It’s possible if he killed Lauren then he probably killed others he befriended there. 2:03 am pdt

2:23 am pdt I wrote more stuff and it disappeared 👻. Not funny . I wrote serious stuff and felt more acid pain in my brain 🧠. I don’t even do drugs! 2:24 am pdt 2:24 am pdt did Amar malek kill ghost ship 🛳 in Oakland December 2, 2016? Cold 🥶 2:25 am pdt

2:27 am pdt if they’re really good and I’m really bad, then I guess I’m screwed: 2:27 am pdt

2:34 am pdt maybe 🤔 I’m too selfish 😞 I watched too many Disney movies. My paternal grand parents seemed like they maybe were happy to be married to each other. But Idk 🤷🏻‍♀️. They lived in SoCal mostly. And I lived in the bay. I was separated from everyone by distance. I remember my grandpa 👴 was not happy grandma 👵 died when I was 16 years old. 2:39 am pdt 2:40 am pdt

W2:46 am pdt left shin pain. 2:47 am pdt head hot. I think 💭 incubus is trying to make me crazy now. They don’t need any more ideas (teeth pain 2:48 Pam pdt) they’re rich 🤑 now. So I guess it’s time to get rid of me. 2:49 am pdt maybe I was a little dumb and weird and a little crazy so I looked crazy. So Amar malek probably thought 💭 he had time to see if he could harvest anymore ideas 💡 from me. 2:51 (acid in throat pain 2:51 am pdt) this is what I would have thought 💭 b4 the “god”/incubus thing was revealed to me. 2:52 am pdt how (acid brain 🧠 pain 2:53 am pdt) I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ what incubus wants from me anymore. I use emojis as markers. 2:54 am pdt

2:58 am pdt how would I know that the idea 💡 was given to me by god? Or if I was given freedom to come up with my own ideas 💡? He did not speak to me and say this is my idea 💡 here use it as if it was your own. I did not have that type of relationship with god. 3 am pdt (acid brain 🧠 pain 3 am pdt)!!! Pain!!! Increased intensity of acid hot. He doesn’t like me disclosing that. I didn’t think 💭 very much. I didn’t put 2+2 together. There are times I forget what I experienced in one situation and then when I’m in a different situation sometimes There is no cross over. Probably was a consequence of hitting my head a lot. 3:03 am pdt I was afraid of getting pregnant 🤰 when I was with Scott and I didn’t think 💭 that god could cancel a pregnancy 🤰. So I took plan b, which was 2 pills 💊/tablets back then, the one I had. 3:05 am pdt if it’s a principle thing, I’m still getting punished. Like for the simple principle stuff. But I guess they are operating on different principles that I guess are higher than my principles that I’m operating on. If they’re better than me then god forgives them for the things that would otherwise be considered wrong. 3:07 am pdt I guess he wants me to acknowledge that. Bcz I had the tendency to not accept responsibility for things that I guess I should. I should not go on dates if I cannot control my desire. I should only (right heel pain 3:09 am pdt) Bcz Scott blamed me for turning him on for messing around. And he’s right. I should not have been on his lap. I should not have been at his house 🏠 without chaperone. I should have went to doctor amen 🙏 . To see if he can help me with addiction. (Brain acid pain 3:11 am pdt) so, that makes me bad. VERY BAD. He’s right. I was WRONG 😑. 3:12 am pdt left shin pain 3:13 am pdt (brain acid pain 3:13 am pdt) and I should have spent 100% of my time on my school 🏫 work. No fun at all with guys. No Nick. No Brendan. So if Amar is friends with them, it’s my fault then that (acid throat pain 3:15 am pdt) Amar malek probably stole stufff from me (acid right arm pain throat again 3:15 am pdt) and I should have not did what I did on any of those occasions I wrote confessions about. I was mean and selfish and bad. Even though that baby 👶, and those kids are probably okay back then when I did stuff, I shouldn’t have ran. I should have faced it all then each time something happened. But I was a coward. Always. With a few exceptions. 3:18 am pdt I guess that makes them better than me. Is that what you want incubus???? Left shin pain 3:19 am pdt (idk if incubus is lying 🤥 or not. What am I going to do. Autocorrect: inn innocent 🏨 3:20 am pdt I guess he’s telling me that it’s all (acid throat pain. Throat feels bumpy 3:21 am pdt) him. Idk 🤷🏻‍♀️. The room gets smelly here like it got smelly in the apartment. Neighbor upstairs in apartment was weird and noisy. They played loud music 🎶 at 11 pm shook walls. 3:23 3:24 am pdt sometimes I smelled fish in the bathroom 🚽. Sometimes gas fumes from cars. Sometimes when I showered my skin peeled after I smelled something bad. B4 peeling I think it hurt. Trying to remember. Acid right arm pain 3:26 am pdt. Incubus lies to me about marriage and children and makes it believeable. So I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️. Everything is weird Bcz of him. 3:27 am pdt making me feel weird and bad again left hip joint pain 3:27 am pdt 3:28 am pdt

[skepticalarrie]

Hi Allie! I'd just like to ask what do you think about some fishy things going on BTS, from the album leak to lizzo's performance, everything is so wierd

Hi! Yeah I totally agree something super fishy could be happening. Since Holivia began, actually, I feel this energy. Remember a bunch of pictures we got last year of Harry looking angry as fuck on pap walks? The gay tornado right in front of Holivia's salad, Toxic in LA when everyone from his label was there and then the combo Toxic + Medicine in a freaking sad clown suit? The energy was so off when he was not on stage.

I can't really put the pieces together right now, we obviously don't have the bigger picture, so it's hard to guess. But he has been putting a lot of emphasis on the fact he had complete creative freedom for the new album and that he's extremely happy with it, and I mentioned this before, but he's smart - I don't think the fact he keeps mentioning this over and over is something random. And honestly, after listening to the album, I totally believe that is in fact true. Adding that to Rob Stringer saying nothing is fabricated about him, all the cleanliness clause situation he just talked about on bloody Better Homes and Gardens instead of Rolling Stones. The album, the leaks, the tracklist, Lizzo.... everything is raising a lot of questions, I agree. I'm obviously just guessing but I think it could something to do with some sort of give and take situation. Remember during 1D days we used to talk about the Big Gay War where there were moves and countermoves? Kind of something similar, so to have the creative freedom on the new album, to be able to do My Policeman, he had to compromise on a few other things. Also kind of similar to the weird situation it has been happening with Louis if you think about it, he's SO HAPPY with the tour, he seems to be doing whatever he wants to do, but babygate came back from the fucking dead right before it started. It's the contrast of both things, you know? They seem extremely happy to finally be allowed to do some stuff they couldn't before - and it definitely comes across in their music and live performances - but at the same time, the situation with stunts never have been worse

[crowned-clown-rising]

Hello and welcome to part 2 of: It's 2022 and this girl is watching the bbc Merlin show for the first time!

The section in which I sell my soul to yet another terrible show that ended years ago and share my comments and thoughts with you so that you can see my falling and have a laugh. (And sharing your best fics.)

Part 1 | Part 3

• Second season is in. I'm not too happy about the new let's treat Merlin badly as if we hadn't fallen in love a whole season back.

• Gwen this has nothing to do with you. I love you. You have done nothing wrong ever take those flowers to Morgana my dear off you go.

• How do you guys call the 4 kids team from camelot? I'm calling them the camelot team free will until further notice. Mertroupe? Arteam? Camegang?

• Me naming Morgana my sword on the otome game Eldarya was not a coincidence, that was true fate because that woman is my wife.

• Does Merlin realise that an entire village of druids was slaughtered because of him or is he just going to shrug it off?

• A couple of episodes ago Morgana and Gwen were fighting off Odin's men and now they can't pick up a sword for their lifes what is going on here

• Ah, spoke too soon. I've never been happier to eat my words look at that combo omfg step on me swing that sword flawlessy yess my lady go offfc

•"She is more than just my maid" scene 🏳️‍��� season two is currently a downfall for merthur and Morgwen taking their place

• The scene where Arthur asks Merlin advice on dating girls... That bit was gayest thing I've seen. If I were to watch that without context, I would absolutely read it as 2 gays in the closet. It even removed the bisexuality of them.

• The change in Merlin's eyes from "Maybe my father was wrong about magic-You really believe that?" to "All sorcerers are evil thank you for remining me" breakes my heart into little pieces.

• Freya 😶 why didn't she fly away earlier tho? AnD ARTHUR COMFORTING MERLIN IN THE END THAT WAS SO CUTE.

• Several times already Arthur has gotten Merlin out of trouble without even knowing what he was being acused for, and not caring even he were to be guilty. He just wants him save and well 🥺

• Honestly my girls were onto something. They were about to take the kingdom with 0 death counts-except maybe some knights- (bc the ppl were just asleep) and free the kingdom from the magic prosecution. Why are they being antagonized like this.

• The poison bit– My sweet child I'm so sorry.

• No but all of this is actually sad bc Morgana actually has no idea what is happening she just has a vague guess

• Morgwen divorce. The worst plot of the show. Unfair. Homophobic.

• "Goodnight, son" I'M FUCKING CRYING THERE ARE TEARS ON MY FACE MY DARLING BOY

• What an episode. What a show honestly.

[elvencantation]

yin yang master liveblog

feat. @thursdayplaid​

what

blue

omg the magic is so pretty

also why is it always Chinese dramas will have someone, if they need blood, bite their finger?

also the gold spirit is very cute i like

i love a young countenance but an older soul

i also want them to take off their hats 😂

wait he ain’t dead he’s just sitting there?

or he’s dying i guess

Thursday

This movie is pretty throughout, aesthetic on point 

Sharp teeth?

We simp gold spirit

Too true, amazing combo XD 

He's dying

Please don't let me disturb your liveblogging. It brings be much joy

blue

oh hot demon boy!

love that he’s fighting with a fan

Thursday

Who will win? Uptight fighting bro vs gentle fan uncle

blue

gentle fan uncle is an amazing title

Thursday

@^_^@

blue

i love how he’s just like ‘bet u wouldnt stab a precious instrument’

Thursday

XD I love how playful he is during the whole fight too

blue

it’s adorable

dude rly loves his transportation talismans

WAIT I THOUGHT DEMON BOY HAD TATTOOS NOT CUTS

Thursday

He does. If it ain't broke, don't fix it I guess. And it's a good way to redirect violence without doing harm

Demon boy has had a Rough Time

blue

i wanna give him a hug

i don’t think he’d appreciate that but still 😂

Thursday

He's just sad and misses his girl friend

blue

why his reincarnated shufu look evil tho

Thursday

Who can say~~~

I love how Boya was just repeatedly defeated by Qingming and is like: you won't fight me because you're scared.

blue

what’s a himbo but not nice 😂

hey! they put my boys hat on crooked. rude.

Thursday

Give that boy a straight hat.

He's just such an Angy Boy

blue

he rly is 😂

ah i love the lady master she’s so pretty

Thursday

She's amazing and I love her.

blue

awww boya defended him

Thursday

He's so angry, but this fan man flirts with him

blue

ofc they all spying on each other 😂

Thursday

Saved by your opponent's gay discovery

blue

omg yes

Thursday

Spying required

blue

aw he looks nice with his hair down!

drink tea with him angy boy!

Thursday

He just wants you to chill out before you deviate. Sit and look at his amazing long hair. It'll be good for you

blue

HAHAHA

honey bug!!!! i love her!!!!!!!

Thursday

Also the ability for the fan man's actor to go from calm to worried to angry to calm again

Honey bug is good and important and I love her

blue

thank u for the recommendation yes

i love them

Thursday

The intrinsic eroticism of a man who's having his racist beliefs totally shaken by a hot guy who's hotter and smarter than him while holding a sword to his throat and looking like he wants to cry while saying cool lines.

They are such a great pair

blue

angy boy is angy like how dare fan man make him have feelings

Thursday

How very dare he make a good point about morals and ethics!

Also with that hair drinking tea in the morning

Angy boy with clenched teeth: I'm Not Yearning. I'm Just Like This When I See A Fan.

Angy boy with clenched fists: Complex Feelings? Disgusting.

blue

HAHAH OMG HES JUST HANGING OUT WITH A BUNCH OF LADIES LIKE HELLO YES ANGY BOY COME HAVE TEA WITH US ITS NOT WHAT U THINK

OMG THIS TIME ITS BOYS

ITS LIKE UR TRYING TO GIVE ANGY BOY AN ANEURISM

Thursday

Clenched fist intensifies

blue

I CANNOT

maybe he just wants to hang out with cute people

i get that

Thursday

He's just a friendly guy

blue

if i could summon pretty spirit friends to hang with me i so would

ok so maybe he’s not evil. but i’m still suspicious

NOW ANGY BOY IS HAIR DOWN WITHOUT HAT OMG YES

Thursday

I do get the vibe off him he's not the sort of guy who would put his spirit friends in sexual situations. But also I get the vibe he's a very lonely guy at his core and he enjoys the feeling of physical and emotional closeness.

blue

mood ™

Thursday

Let's be honest, the hat is a bit cute, but that hair though. Respect for the makeup department

blue

HAHAHAH

Thursday

Angy boy, you're just walking to being teased now. At this point its a hand written invitation with gold leaf.

blue

oh i love this moment with the water

it’s so intense

JUST DO IT ANGY BOY

U KNOW U CARE ABOUT HIM

“you’re too obedient” 😂

Thursday

The priest is in the range of gentle or teasing and hovers there. Seeing an actual intense situation is great

blue

ikr????

ah that is exactly what i love

that situation

Thursday

Me too! It's great when characters hover in a range and then swing over sharply

I really makes both extremes more dynamic

blue

HAVE SOME WINE WITH HIM DO IT

U KNOW U WANNA

Thursday

Go For It Angy Boy! He'll be gentle!

blue

😏

Thursday

XD I mean he will continue to ruffle his feathers, but for fun, not for mean

Also, I really love the depiction of a fox demon that isn't sexed up.

Qingming is a trickster, a tease, a bit of a flirt, and enjoys the pleasures of life, but he isn't the stereotypical half naked sexpot fox demon that seem to pop up everywhere

blue

OH NO HE HAD TO KILL HIS SHUFU???

Thursday

The only person he had in the world but he didn't want him to suffer and be corrupted

blue

also I hate that my two associations with someone being turned into ash is firstly the avengers and secondly that stupid fucking scene in the last harry potter movie

god this movie is so beautiful and lovely

Thursday

That set is outstandingly gorgeous

Everything is so beautiful. I want to live in this world!

Sometimes I just see a kind and lonely character trying to live their best life and just vibe with them. Also the wigs on this movie 😭 So beautiful!

blue

DONT HURT MY GIRL

Thursday

Run girl! Move!

She's so smart and brave!

blue

oh the DRAMA

Thursday

The Drama is right, I love this movie!

blue

HE WILL SAVE U BOYA

Thursday

HE'S COMING FOR YOU FRIEND

blue

omg the drama of his hand slackening

Thursday

That slackening hand though...

blue

why it didn’t work until then tho???

Thursday

For the drama mostly XD

blue

HUGGGG

is she giving birth to the serpent? 🤢

Thursday

She is giving birth to the serpent

blue

hey it’s better to be possessed by the literal incarnation of evil in snake form than be dead am I right?

Thursday

I mean is we're making a choice...

blue

OMG IS IT FINALLY SPIRIT TIME?

thursday

It is ~spirit time~!

blue

HOT DEMON BOY IS BACK UPGRADED

SO PROUD

Thursday

He is back and he is Fancy!

They're looking good they're doing poses

blue

omg the painters face painting is so pretty

Thursday

I love the painter ;-; so noble

blue

the music when he summons spirits just makes me think of like pro wrestling intro music for some reason 😂

Thursday 

And now from the WWE, some hot chinese spirits

blue

oh no ice boy!

Thursday

Poor ice boy, he's just getting beat up

blue

don’t u dare touch my other demon boy

Thursday

He just signed up for this adventure and now a snake is beating him up

blue

OMG HE NOW HAS SOMEONE HE WOULD PROTECT WITH HIS LIFE DOESNT HE

Thursday

He Do!

blue

WAIT WHAT NO BOYA

Thursday

Boya is just having a rough time right now, he's a good good boy

blue

and now the painter???

Thursday

I almost cried about the painter and he was only there for like five minutes

blue

PLS DONT HURT MY DEMON BOY

Thursday

Demon Boy goes yeet

blue

oh my god the drama of the dripping blood i can’t

Thursday

This movie has so much drama It did

blue

not my demon boy 😭

FINALLY IT WORKED

wait shit spirit boya is super hot

THE BLACK WINGS?!????

the tattoos??? the hair?!?!!! the messy goth skirt??!

Thursday

Spirit Boya is Choice, I'm looking respectfully 👀

Goth spirit aesthetic is on point

blue

where the other guardians tho?

yes this is a very touching little last reunion but where my boya at

omg yes give him a glowing sword

the avenging angel look is 💯 on him

Thursday

The sword on fire look is Really Working For Him

blue

tell me boya’s spirit form has no influence on his actual body. no he said he trusted qingming to protect his body it’s ok

OMG YES I KNEW THE PROTECTION SPELL MOMENT WOULD BE BACK

Thursday

It's back and it's shiny!

blue

ok but u still have a hole in ur torso my dude

oh ok apparently that’s not a thing anymore but i can’t be mad cause boya’s outfit 😍

Thursday

I guess he used his cultivation or his demon powers or something IDK, It would have been nice to have two extra minutes of Boya being worried about him

Boya wears some excellent clothes

blue

love a good romantic flute moment 😭🥰

Thursday

I have to say Boya's like let me play you this song about promising to fall in love in the next life for fun and me time

blue

omg i thought he was gonna kiss the arrow

Thursday

I mean emotionally did he not kiss the arrow?

blue

omg i cant

Thursday

I know right? How many censors did they have to pay off

blue

WAIT IS MY GIRL OK????

Thursday

I Chose To Believe She's fine and is now living happily on a farm or something

yeah i do love being worried for each other

but i guess they didnt have enouhg time and they already had that moment at the beginning of the movie 😂

Thursday

Two people? Respecting, worrying, and caring about each other? 👍 There's never enough caring for each other!

blue 

exactly

Thursday

Also, this is one of the best examples of be careful how you word your spells that I've ever seen.

The old master was like care and protect her forever and his spirit guardian was just like: 👍👌💯

blue

heheh

yeahhh

AND U MADE ME EMOTIONAL AGAIN

[dany36]

officially done with tales of zestiria!! overall, i really enjoyed the game and i'm glad i finally sat down and played it. more junk thoughts below.

so it's definitely not as bad as i had heard people say it was. i was really surprised when i saw just how much of a bad rep this game gets, but...i can definitely see some things as to why people don't like it... one of the things i had heard was that there was barely any character development in the game, and i agree with that. i was 35ish hours in when suddenly people were already talking about going into the final battle and i was like...what?! no sub-story about rose or eizen or lilah that goes more into their past/characters like sheena in tos or something?? i guess we did get more into edna with that sidequest about eizen (it was nice seeing her show emotions for once!), but other than that, i really didn't feel like the game focused on ANYONE else at any point in the story. they just sort of get introduced into your party and are there to help sorey in his quest.

speaking of sorey, i REALLY didn't care for his character at all. i think he's the only one where i was super apathetic towards in terms of character and personality. even zaveid, who i thought i was going to dislike because of how annoying i found him in berseria, grew on me and learned to like him. i don't know, i guess when i compare him to other protagonists in the tales of games i've played, he really is the most forgettable of them all. like, when he "sacrifices" himself and goes in a sleep slumber, i felt no emotion whatsoever. as soon as i got rose in my party, i switched to using her as my main (which never happens lol i'm boring and usually stick to main characters as my Player 1--emil, lloyd, luke, velvet, dude with the purple hair in vesperia for the amount i played in the game) cus i was just like wow give me someone more interesting PLEASE. so, sorry to sorey fans (if there are any) but to me he's one of the most boring aspects of the game...and he's the damn shepherd!

and continuing on that point, i think the plot in this tales game is also probably the weakest one out of the ones i've played (weak main character, weak plot). the game starts off with the simple premise that sorey is the shepherd and he must get rid of the Lord of Calamity, and...that's pretty much it. in other tales games, you start off thinking your objective is A, but then as you journey along, a plot twist occurs and you realize now that objective A really was just a small task in what is your true objective. Something like this never happens in the game, so the pace just pretty much stays the same throughout the entirety of the game. sure, there are some cool moments (rose's introduction and her learning to armatize will forever be my favorite), but they are scattered out and about and honestly in this game i can't really remember something as impacting as luke sinking that one city (haven't played tota in a while lol) or palmacosta being destroyed in tos or velvet finding out the truth about her brother.

but anyway, the rest of the cast, i absolutely loved, so it's truly a shame that they were stuck in a sort of forgettable plot. i already talked about edna and rose being my favorites, but lilah (that scene with the oregami...OOF...OOF!!!!) and zaveid are cool too. alisha is barely in the main game, but it was great seeing more of her in the DLC and showing her struggle of what she wants to do (her combat also seems cool for the couple of fights but i had to stick with rose...sorry!). i only wish we could have had more skits showing the party interacting with one other. i don't know if it's just me but i really felt like there were barely any skits in this game, which is sad because most of the cast is enjoyable and it's a shame we didn't get to see them talk with each other in skits more!

i had seen people say that it's best to play zestiria and then berseria so you can catch all the references in berseria, but...to be honest, i don't think i would have enjoyed zestiria as much if i had played it first! prime examples are the eizen sidequest and the sidequest where you FREAKING FIND MAGILOU'S TOMB. like...hello??? when i got to the eizen sidequest, i 100% would not have given as much of a shit on killing that dragon if i hadn't played berseria beforehand. it really made me sad knowing the tragic ending that eizen wound up having. and finding magilou's grave being guarded by her friend also broke my heart. like...seriously!!! that was something that i also would not have given another thought if i didn't know who magilou was. so yeah i don't regret playing berseria first since i actually think it enhanced the experience a bit more.

gameplay-wise, i really enjoyed it! took me a while to get the hang of the equipment system, but once i did, chaining combos with Rose was a blast. i also really enjoyed how easily you could change party members (unlike in tob where it costs 1 BG!) in the middle of a fight. and MAN i never get tired of seeing those sweet, sweet mystic artes animations. <3 <3 <3 it increases any character's coolness factor three-fold.

my main gripe in berseria was the terrible dungeon design. at the beginning, zestiria did a better job at putting in puzzles in dungeons so as to not make the same mistake that berseria did, but then...towards the second half of the game...it was pretty much all berseria-like dungeons of endless same-looking rooms with endless enemies (the DLC dungeon being a prime example of this). which is honestly just terrible and boring, but at least the gameplay makes the fights seem not AS tedious...

i also felt like zestiria did a better job with the music than berseria did. i can hardly recall any song i liked in berseria (there's like two or three i'd put in my vgm collection), but for zestiria, i'm gonna need to hunt down quite a few. also, i could actually remember the names of the towns/locations and what they looked like. in berseria, i felt like i was going town after town but for the life of me i couldn't remember at ALL what we did there in the first place. i really just felt like i was passing through each town not learning much about the place, but in zestiria i really got a feel of each town, so that was nice!

oh, and the ending i felt was...kind of weak lol especially cus...no one talked at all??? it was so weird haha in tos, tota, dotnw, and tob we have the characters at least saying SOMETHING in the ending but in toz it was just...animations and that's it lol. so glad we got a DLC cus i would have been PISSED seeing just rose leave off like that without saying a word and then...they show us her GRAVE??? i always think "wow i wish they would show us how the future of (insert favorite characters here) are like!! :)" but seeing rose's grave made me so sad (as well as eizen's and magilou's) like nononono you do NOT show my favorite characters just DEAD!! >:'v but anyway, yeah i mean it was an ok ending but nothing that made me feel with a great gap in my heart like tob's or tos's did. like mikleo seeing sorey again at the end? cool. did it make me feel something like when tear sees luke again at the end of tota? sadly, no. :(

and last but not least, the DLC. i mean, i absolutely LOVED seeing the girls in the team going out on their own little adventure and just interacting and talking with each other!!! lailah + edna + alisha + rose...who doesn't love that?? we got to see more of rose being the badass that she is and uh yeah her and alisha? totally gay for each other...like that last scene before they kill the final boss?? just A+++ material (except that terrible last dungeon AND the HORRID design of the last bosses??? dragons with purple bright titties so that the player will know they're FEMALE dragons??? LMAO)

oh wow i wrote more than i thought i would but uh yeah. all in all: DEFINITELY NOT a bad game, has a great cast of interesting and fun characters (except sorey) but sadly the game doesn't delve too deep into them as in other tales game, DLC was a fun addition to see more of who i thought was going to be a greater protagonist in the main story, but overall when compared to other tales of games, the weak plot puts it second-to-last in my list of tales games i've played. would i play it again? definitely :)

WHEW, ok, now off to watch the anime!! <3

[kendallstewy]

A bit late on posting this, sorry my dear, but I was tagged by @woozapooza to list nine comfort films! Only the first two are in order 😊

1. Maurice (1987) - as a tiny queer 14 year old who had no friends - and I mean that quite literally, NONE - this movie was my best friend. I watched it every Sunday to help give me courage for a new week of loneliness. It’s my favorite gay film of all time. I’ve had the god tier pleasure of interacting with Rupert Graves a few times and I have part of a tweet he sent me (“have faith in yourself Xx”) tattooed on my wrist. Sixteen years later, watching this movie still feels like coming home. Literally my warm blanket movie. My heart bursts and I feel reborn. Is there a love that is literally all-consuming? Yeah, I have it for this film.

2. Velvet Goldmine (1998) - here’s another film that feels like coming home when I watch it. I first saw it when I was 17 and it helped me come out as bi to my mom. It got me into glam rock, which was another formative queer thing that helped keep me sane in my loneliness. Watching it obsessively and listening to the soundtrack on repeat were lifesavers. I felt so free. I can’t overstate the impact it had on me. I wore glitter nail polish just to remind myself of it. I was able to interact with the producer once and she kindly retweeted my thanks to her for helping make the film.

3. Les Amants (The Lovers) (1958) - this is my favorite French film, bar none. There is a very slow burn up to a part that is one of the most romantic bits of any film I have EVER seen. Seriously it is drenched in romance and I just bask in it. It feels like it was tailor made for me to feel like I’ve ascended to a higher plane where true love exists. I love watching it alone in the dark, the atmosphere it creates is magical. So soothing, just heavenly.

4. Whisper of the Heart (1995) - this is my favorite non-Miyazaki-directed Studio Ghibli film and definitely in my top 3 Ghibli films. I watched it again this week and it was so calming. It’s one of the best slice-of-life films ever and I adore the characters, especially the heroine. She is very much like me as a young teen and actually still really relatable to me at (almost) 30. It is so uplifting and I feel so at peace living in her world for two hours. The ending is pure joy.

5. God’s Own Country (2017) - another top notch gay film that is really spiritually nourishing. There’s a scene that’s not even a sex scene, it’s just kissing while shirtless, and it’s breathtaking, I think about it at random moments during the day. It’s one of the most tender things ever. In general I adore the two men and the journey Josh O’Connor’s character goes on in his self-growth, it’s really moving. I did love him in The Crown but to me he’ll always be Johnny. I could legit watch this every day.

6. The Lure (2015) - I went through a long period of watching this at one AM every night for weeks. Despite the tragic elements, I feel so happy when I watch the mermaid night club singers perform and then eat men’s hearts. The whole movie is like a patchwork quilt of styles and emotions but it never feels uneven and I love slipping into that crazy world and going along for the ride. It feels so natural to settle into the nuttiness. Also I have a mega crush on one of the lead actresses, so there’s that.

7. The Happy Prince (2018) - again despite the tragic elements, this is another one that I watched every one AM for weeks in order to fight loneliness and find solace in the presence of Oscar Wilde. I saw this in the theater and it was a transcendent experience. It’s visually gorgeous and written in a way that’s so stimulating to my mind without taxing me. I have loved Rupert Everett since I saw Another Country (1984) when I was about 15 and so seeing him give this most magisterial of performances is thrilling. It’s like swimming in beauty.

8. Rocketman (2019) - I saw this five times in the theater. Literally. Five. And I cried. I’m not even a particular Elton John fan although I do love all the songs they used, but the narrative of trying to find self-love without consistently sabotaging yourself is so relatable to me that I feel so connected to it. And of course the acting and music and dancing and costumes are so much fun. I always watch it in front of our biggish screen tv with the volume turned up high so I can pretend I’m in the theater. It’s both exciting and healing which is a potent combo.

9. My Own Private Idaho (1991) - god this is such a sad movie tbh but I feel like River Phoenix’s character is my best friend and I love spending time with him. He’s my favorite actor of all time and he is god tier levels of majestic pathos and gravitas in this. One of the best performances I have ever seen. Ever. I feel so close to his character who wants something so badly and is willing to literally take to the road to find it. It paradoxically shatters and heals me at the same time. Keanu Reeves is fun in it too and he and River are one of my favorite screen duos ever. I watch this every Halloween in memoriam of River.

Thanks Wooza ❤️ I tag literally all my followers. ☺️

[lonespektr]

The new sherlock thing is full of terrible tropes

Magical Negro turned poc villian combo. Had they handled this twist better could have been interesting but nope for good measure they threw in some delusions of grandeur all the villians are unhinged in a kind of abelist way

Creepy Obsessive Unrequited Gay + hapless poc siekick combo (constant jabs that he is the dumb one)

All of the downtrodden lower class are equated with their tourmenters - killing the bad guy makes you just as bad

Sad noble rich white boy while not actually doing anything noble except benevolently hanging out with poors and poking one of them

Plus a lot of garbage just garbage

White man villian gets redemption arc attempt

Whilst two woc pitted aginst each oher ending in black womans death like they really couldn't just break her concentration?

There's not even a proper inversion of white man superiority because no one else is smarter than sherlock was..he just lost a step... by his own devices.

Watson surpassing him. Even hiding his true genuis because he's in love with him and he knows how much he likes to be right, that would have been amusing

White guy lying to for good reasons

[crossovereddie]

Thoughts on S10xE12: THE WEDDING

Okay so y’all know how this is gonna go. A lot of tears. A lot of screaming via caps lock. And of course it wouldn’t be complete without a lot of “I LOVE YOU SO MUCH” and pet names for Mickey. Enjoy. 

Let’s get non related gallavich things out of the way because I don’t wanna finish this on a downer

I actually love Liam/Frank scenes

Debbie finally getting what she deserves? Good

Tami is a fucking bitch

Entitled little brat

You won’t change my mind about this

Don’t even try defending her

You NEVER use someone’s child against them.

Don’t threaten to take Fred away then be shocked that Lip ruined his sobriety

I just kept repeating “please no” when he paused before taking that first sip

It fucking hurt so much

Lip deserves BETTER

Tami is toxic. End of. Period.

Now let’s bring up the mood!!

Liam looking at the tuxes was so cute

He’s so confused

Mickey actually chose a white tux for himself :((((((

My snow angel🥺

Everyone checking on Ian is so sweet

Carl’s toe nail clippings “you picking those up” 😂😂😂

Ian really hates that shit doesn't he

I'm so proud of him for taking his meds

GIVE ME THOSE PHOTOS

"Savings" lmao

Baby got fancy for his wedding

HIS FACE I CANT😂😂😂

They shower together :((((

“Those are nice right?”

Fashionista Mickey making another comeback

Unpopular opinion but I love seeing his Ian tattoo on his chest ON THEIR WEDDING DAY

chin touch :(

So soft. So sweet.

THE WAY IAN GRABS HIM YES BITCH

THE GRUNT 🤤🤤🤤

HEIGHT DIFFERENCE FUCK

MICKEY IS T I N Y!!!!

TOWEL

NECK KISS

FUCK

I fucking hate terry

I need him dead because my baby isn’t safe until he is

His little “what?” 😩

HE DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER

GET HIM BABY

But like don’t because I need you free

Can sandy poison terry or something?

Sandy 😂😂

This scene was sad because my poor baby but so early shameless I love it

Carl and the beer trilogy 😂😂😂

“I don’t wanna get married where my shoes stick to the floor”

GIVE THE PRINCE HIS ROYAL WEDDING

The spinal cord line 😂😂😂

Mickey’s a Gallagher I don’t care what their last name is

HERE COME THE TEARS AGAIN

“Why is Mickey handcuffed?”

“Terry fucking wins again” NO BABY

MY FUCKING HEART

ILL GIVE YOU ALL THE HALLOWEEN CANDY TO FILL YOUR LITTLE TUMMY BABY BOY

I WANNA BUY YOU ALL THE CHRISTMAS GIFTS YOU WANT

LET ME ADOPT YOU

IM SO FUCKING SAD FOR HIM

HE DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER

“I love you. I love you” 😭😭😭😭😭

“This son of a bitch is never gonna let me be happy” IM SOBBING ALL OVER AGAIN

In so little words Lip really said “Mickey Milkovich deserves the wedding of his dreams and we’re gonna make it happen if it’s the last thing I do”

Did anyone else start singing Carrie Underwood when Ian said “Louisville slugger”

The Gallagher’s love Mickey so much

I LOVE MICKEY SO MUCH

IAN FUCKING LOVES MICKEY SO MUCH

“Mickey might have to marry Debbie instead of Ian”

“Nice polish boy named Michael” LMAO

I love Lip

OKAY THIS SCENE KILLED ME

The way Mickey is looking at Ian melts my heart

Again their height difference murdered me

YOU WANT KIDS?

K I D S

IAN WANTS KIDS WITH MICKEY BUT WE ALREADY KNEW THAT

FUCK HIS DREAM FROM THE ICONIC DELETED SCENE IS COMING TRUE

IF THEY DONT HAVE KIDS NEXT SEASON IM RIOTING

I like when they make fun of each other because they are literally best friends forever

THEIR SMILES

MILKOVICH

GALLAGHER

BUT WHICH ONE IS IT NOW

Ian is obsessed with holding mickey’s neck

THUMB

MY BOYS LOOK SO HANDSOME IN THEIR TUXEDOS

Mickey trying to be nice to this lady 😂😂

I LOVE HIS VOICE

They have mutual friends and I’m fond

I told y’all it’s the little things that get me

“Chiavari chairs look nice” “I like how the gold catches the light” DONE

The cake topper I NEED IT

I HATE TERRY I HATE TERRY I HATE TERRY

The lip and Ian scene made me cry again

THE SONG

IAN YOU SAP

HE LOVES MICKEY SO MUCH

As soon as I heard the first cords of the song I IMMEDIATELY bursted into sobs

IM CRYING AGAIN

MY LONELY DAYS ARE OVER 😭😭😭

Once again I’m beyond jealous of sandy

I wanna walk my baby down the aisle 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

HES SO CUTE FUCK

IM HONESTLY NOT OKAY

THE NIGHT I LOOKED AT YOU

I DIDNT KNOW THIS SONG WAS GONNA HURT SO MUCH

HEIGHT DIFFERENCE AGAIN IM SO BLESSED

It’s like even more noticeable this episode right?????

TINY AND TALL

BLACK HAIR AND RED HAIR

BLUE EYES AND GREEN EYES

WHITE TUX AND BLACK TUX

TOUGH AND SOFT

THEY COMPLIMENT EACH OTHER IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE

Kev was so funny finally

GET HIS HOMOPHOBIC ASS GAY JESUS SQUAD

When they kept singing even after he pulled his gun I cried so hard

I’m crying again wtf

THE VOWS FUCK

TO BE MY HUSBAND

IM FULL ON UGLY CRYING I CANT EVEN SEE THE SCREEN

I IAN TAKE YOU MICKEY TO BE MY HUSBAND

FUCK THIS HURTS SO MUCH

AFTER ALL THE SHIT THEYVE BEEN THROUGH THEYRE GIVING THEMSELVES TO EACH OTHER IN THE PUREST WAY POSSIBLE

“Now?” “Yes now” HE WAS SO EAGER AND SHOCKED THAT THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE SINCE HE WAS A KID IS NOW HIS HUSBAND

We got to see the smitten lovesick Ian Gallagher from s1 again

HES NEVER STOPPED BEING SMITTEN AND LOVESICK BY MICKEY

Honestly same

Not gonna lie, seeing frank emotional made me even more emotional

MICKEYS SMILE COULD LIGHT THE WORLD

MY SON IS ACUALLY MY SUN

THE HAND HOLDING IS SO CUTE

THEYRE ACTUALLY MARRIED

HUSBANDS!!!!!

IAN SO PROUD HAVING HIS BABY ON HIS ARM

YES MICKEY IS IANS BABY FIGHT ME

IM SO FUCKING HAPPY

MICKEY DANCING IS THE CUTEST THING IVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE

“I miss mom” that hurt a lot more than I thought it ever would

I’m glad they mentioned Monica. Ian loved her so much

YOURE REALLY GONNA PLAY PERFECT RIGHT NOW FUCK YOU

“I should probably go dance with my husband” THATS YOUR HUSBAND CAN YOU BELIEVE IT

The head neck tuck 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

THE WAY THEYRE HOLDING EACH OTHER LIKE THEY NEVER WANNA LET GO

“We were just kids when we fell in love not knowing what it was I will not give you up this time” FUCK WHOEVER PICKED THIS SONG YOU WIN

I actually hate this song with a passion but suddenly I love it

LIKE THEYRE ACTUALLY SLOW DANCING

SLOW DANCING AT THEIR OWN WEDDING

IAN REALLY HAD TO DO THE NECK GRAB WITH THE THUMB RUB COMBO JUST TO KILL ME DIDNT HE

THEYRE SO IN LOVE IVE NEVER SEEN A LOVE THIS DEEP BEFORE (and I’m fucking married to the love of my life/high school sweetheart lmao)

Liam getting the car for them was the sweetest thing

He opens the car for Ian :((((

HE HOPS INTO THE CAR MY LITTLE BUNNY

Frank is genuinely happy for them and that fucks me up so much

THEY REALLY HAD TO USE RED SHEETS HUH

THEY KNEW IT WOULD FUCK US ALL UP EVEN MORE THAN WE ALREADY ARE

The soft touches are always my favorite

They make my heart flutter

“Morning Mr. Gallavich” OKAY SAY WHAT YOU WANT BUT THAT WAS ACTUALLY REALLY FUCKING CUTE

“Morning Mr......Millogher?” THE CUTENESS WONT STOP

Mickey physically cannot stop caressing Ian

THE THUMBS ALWAYS GET ME

Like I actually look for them knowing they’re gonna be doing the thumb rub

Fucking terry

BUT THEY LOOK SO CUTE COVERED IN FEATHERS

There Mickey goes again with the Ian caressing

in case you forgot: THEYRE MARRIED

HUSBANDS

I can’t believe this actually happened. They’re actually MARRIED. After everything they/we have been through....wow. I’m still in shock. I’m still crying my eyes out. Now I’m gonna go cuddle up with my husband and make him watch the episode with me since he finally has time. I’m over emotional. It’s not fair that they wait until I’m pregnant to let Mickey be happy. It’s like they enjoy my uncontrollable sobs. Leave me your thoughts! I wanna talk about this episode forever.

[halictus-writer]

Welcome to Seattle (Ch. 2 of 5)

The next week went by smoothly. Remus had gotten into a familiar routine with his new job, and became more friendly with his colleagues who also wrote for the newspaper. He had always had a tough exoskeleton, but it didn’t take too long to become comfortable enough to let some of his walls down for a few select coworkers. In stark contrast to his friends from college, these coworkers did not press him for details about his dating-- or as James more bluntly put it, sex-- life. In any case, both were nonexistent.

*James changed the name of the chat to “Operation get Remus laid”*

James: Alright, here we go. Remus, are you ready to read some wisdom coming from yours truly?

*Remus removed James from the chat*

The truth was, Remus wasn’t opposed to getting back out there. The only drawback was that he didn’t know how to get back out there. His relationship with his ex had started organically, with little effort on Remus’s part. And being in a serious relationship for so long had saved him from having to learn how to flirt and casually date new people.

*Lily changed the name of the chat to “Help Remus get back out there, if he wants to”*

*Lily added James to the chat*

James: Alright Remus, you’ve had a chance to get all settled down in your new place, but now it is time to wake up and smell the coffee

Lily: What James means, Remus, is that we think you should maybe try to re-enter the dating scene. Only if you feel ready, of course.

Remus: is this an intervention?

Lily: no

James: yes

Dorcas: ooh are we voting? Marlene is driving so she can’t text but we both vote yes

James: Remus. My son. Fruit of my loins. You are a total catch. It is time for you to take your beautiful face out from behind those sad Jane Austen novels I know you’re rereading every night and get your freak on

Remus: I appreciate your investment in my sex life, I really do, but I think I’m doing fine.

Remus: also you’re not my dad. I’m older than you by five months

James: Oh really? Let’s play a game where you say True or False to each statement I make.

Remus: Fine. But only until my lunch break ends

James: Here’s the first one: My name is Remus Lupin

Remus: ...true

James: My favorite food is chocolate.

Remus: true

James: The most recent time I had sex was within the last 2 months

*Remus removed James from the chat*

Remus spent the rest of his lunch break walking through Pike Place Market. He loved the lively atmosphere of the place, and mentally mapped out the places he would like to spend more time in, in the future. No longer constrained by a vacation schedule, he can see as many shops and stores in Seattle as he would like.

He also sent pictures of the most interesting areas to the friend group via Snapchat. Having multiple avenues of communication proved to be very helpful for a group of people as prone to theatrics as they were. Any arguments or disagreements could stay in whatever platform they originated in, and if people were (temporarily) removed from that platform, they would still have access to another. This unspoken agreement allowed the group to plan James and Lily’s upcoming visit on Snapchat, while Remus kept up his faux-anger at James’s nosiness in the messages app. Remus knew he would tell them everything when he saw them in person, but being ambushed with the topic on a Tuesday while he was at work was not his preferred arena.

***

Saturday morning found the group reunited at a breakfast nook within the Market. Remus sat next to Lily in one booth, opposite Dorcas and Marlene, while James sat in a wooden chair on one end. Remus appreciated that his friends made sure their seating configuration didn’t highlight his own status as the fifth wheel.

After catching up on everyone’s lives, and many pointed glances directed at James from customers who evidently didn’t want to hear the piercing falsetto James used when reenacting conversations with Lily’s sister, the conversation found its way back to Remus’s dating life.

“Remus, you’re a catch and a half. It’s been a few months since your relationship ended, and it may be time to get back out there.” Lily started.

“It’s true,” Marlene added, nodding, “if I weren’t dating Dorcas I would be all over you and your wool cardigan. Almost makes me forget I’m a lesbian.” She laughed as she dodged a light flick from Dorcas.

“If you were a woman I’d totally sleep with you.” James said sincerely.

“Uh oh, misogynistic comment tax!” Dorcas swept in and took a piece of bacon from his plate before dividing it between Lily and herself. “For the vegetarian,” she made a half bow gesture from her seat as she presented Marlene with a liberated strawberry.

“Um, thank you for the votes of confidence, I think,” Remus began. “I appreciate it, I really do, well maybe not what James said, but I’ll admit defeat. I have been thinking about getting back into the dating scene.”

“A-ha!” James shouted, gesturing his final piece of bacon towards Remus. “The man is smelling the coffee. I can see it, he’s smelling it.”

“But,” Remus said softly, hoping that his reduced volume would subtly encourage James to be quieter as well, “I don’t really know how to meet people. I mean, we’re not in school anymore.”

“It isn’t easy, but you are in a much bigger city now,” Lily reasoned, “so theoretically your dating pool is much larger.”

“And there’s all kinds of designated queer spaces here!” James added. “You can go to gay bars and stuff, right?”

“I would pay to see Remus at a gay nightclub,” Marlene said, laughing.

“I would pay to see Remus awake past nine PM,” Dorcas said, “and not because you’re finishing a book.”

“Okay, okay, thanks everybody. I appreciate it.” Remus said flatly.

“Alright, let’s reel it in. Point is, you can meet people organically here, and we’ll support you.” Lily said. After she gave pointed looks around the table, the others nodded, although James was still smiling. “We can switch the topic now, but you better plan on keeping us updated on all your dating endeavors.”

James continued to smile mischievously, and added “And all of your casual sex endeavors. I need to know the exact starting date of your post-breakup hoe-phase. Get on the dating apps! You’d be a beast on there.”

“No.” Remus and Lily said in unison.

Lily continued, “I think you’ll have better luck meeting people organically. Dating apps can be creepy.”

When Dorcas finally changed the topic by prompting Marlene to tell the story of the cat she swore was taking the bus by itself last week, Remus sighed in relief.

***

A few days after James and Lily’s visit, Remus and Dorcas met for coffee before work. Once they had gotten their iced coffees, and in Remus’s case, a giant brownie (he hadn’t been to the Italian restaurant in a few days, so it was well-earned), Dorcas began a monologue that could hold its own against one of James’s.

"Alright. We love James and Lily. We love their beautiful, heterosexual, suburban lives. I am in awe of their enchanting, heterosexual love story, and how they met heterosexually and organically in their Communications class, and how it must have been meant to be when James was late to class and took the only available seat, next to our heterosexual princess.”

Remus laughed in silence, trying not to choke on a bite of brownie.

“Their heterosexual hearts are in the right place. Their heterosexual advice is kindly meant. And yet!” Dorcas announced, punctuating with one pointer finger, “you’re gay!”

Remus, having just finished swallowing the brownie and mistakenly taken a sip of coffee, struggled to not spit it out.

“Dating apps can be weird, of course, but it’s so much easier to meet other queer people there, and not worry as much about hoping the person you flirt with isn’t going to be offended by your existence.”

“Fair point,” Remus said, consciously not eating or drinking until Dorcas was finished.

“Until they open an LGBTQ+ bookstore coffee shop combo, which they totally should, and you would totally thrive in, you should get on Tinder."

Somehow Remus blushed at that, despite being a twenty-six year-old man who has dated before.

Dorcas called him on his blush, and laughed. “You are the most wholesome person I know, it’s too adorable. I won’t make you talk about it in public if it’s embarrassing, but just consider it.”

Remus agreed to do so, but secretly considered the pros and cons of staying single forever. Making a dating profile sounded anxiety-inducing.

***

When Remus walked through the doors of the Italian restaurant for the third time, he instantly felt a little better, as if his brain was already beginning to associate the place with the healing effects of the pizza he would soon be eating.

He had been feeling a little down this afternoon, with his thoughts often gravitating back towards his ex. He considered reaching out to one of his friends, since he knew they would be more than happy to talk him through it, but decided that a little alone time would do him good. Besides, he hadn’t eaten margherita pizza in over a week. It was time to indulge.

Looking up from his booth, he was momentarily surprised to find Sirius standing right in front of him, ready to take his order. Sirius hadn’t been working during Remus’s most recent visit, and Remus tried not to stare at the wavy pieces of hair framing his face, the rest tied back in place. Realizing that Sirius had spoken, Remus tried to regain composure.

“Hi, um, sorry, what was that?” So much for composure, Remus thought.

Sirius smiled warmly, holding eye contact. “You’re good. I just asked what I can get started for you today.” He added a little gesture to the pen and notepad he was holding.

“Oh, um, one small margherita pizza, please. And some water would be great, too.”

“Coming right up!” Sirius announced, and turned towards the kitchen. Remus pointedly looked away from the view, reminding himself that he was here to feel sad, not lustful. But, then again, maybe the latter would help him get over the former. Either way, his spirits were already lifting.

When Sirius returned carrying a beautifully steaming pizza, Remus was ready to devour it. He was also ready to speak words to Sirius like a normal person, having mentally rehearsed “Thank you, this looks great.” a hundred times.

“Thanks, you look great!” Remus expressed, looking at Sirius. His blush immediately materialized. “Wait, oh god. Sorry–”

Sirius laughed, “No worries! People tell me ‘you too’ when I tell them to enjoy their food, like, at least once a shift. You’re in good company.”

Remus smiled and felt a little more relaxed. “Thanks.”

Sirius shuffled for a second, looking like he had more to say, before saying “Well, enjoy your pizza!”

“You too!” Remus said, in mock sincerity. They both laughed.

***

When Sirius brought the check, he also dropped off a piece of tiramisu. “It’s for you!” He said, smiling and already walking away, as Remus tried to protest.

Remus ate about forty percent of the cake, mentally focusing intensely on the next plot point in his novel. Eventually, the soggy texture overpowered his desire to appear grateful for the free dessert, and he left the restaurant quietly when Sirius stepped back into the kitchen, away from sight.

[valkerymillenia]

Umbrella Academy

season 2, episode 3

Next!

Again, live blogging and posting my reactions all in one post to avoid spamming.

This post got accidentally deleted yesterday so I had to write or all again (twice!)

Oh, starting with a Klaus and Ben 1960 flashback! Ah, Klaus... You have no shame. Let my baby eat though!

Lol "Chanel". Boy knows his fashion, of course.

And there's Boney M playing!

You can practically read his mind when he sees that diamond. Sugar momma alert! 😆

Damn, loving the black outfit, very sexy.

LEVITATING KLAUS WAS BEN LIFTING HIM UP! Seems that one crack theory on the fandom was right 🤣

Ben's face though 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

These two are the best combo. I love them.

61, Baja, NM. Traveling hippie commune.

Is Klaus still sober? He refuses a joint here so I'm inclined to believe that he is but he isn't acting very sober... Then again that might be an act, just him embracing the hippy life.

CALLED IT!!! BEN FALLS IN LOVE, DOESN'T HE?! I FUCKING CALLED IT IN EP 1!

62, Varanasi, India. The river scene from the promos. Yeah, I called this one too. Klaus is already looking seriously uncomfortable and realizing this is getting out of hand.

63, San Francisco. Poor Klaus is practically suffocating under all the touching and nobody respects his space or his words.

Destiny's Children! 🤣 You are such a 90s kid, Klaus.

Run away, Klaus! Run! Escape the crazies.

Ok, let me paused to write out a thought...

So a lot of people were worried about the cult thing and Klaus's intentions but it's clear he had no malicious intentions at all. He charmed and impressed some people for survival purposes and thrived, he enjoyed the love and attention at first and the cult just grew around around him organically whether he liked it or not, more a hippy cult of personality then a religious sect, but at some point he saw that it had gone too far, the pressure and expectation became too much and he realized he'd bitten more than he can chew.

It's actually rather sad how he just wants to escape but the cultists objectify him to all hell, he has no privacy or personal space. The problem with Klaus is that he doesn't do anything mildly, he always goes too big until he's drowning. Boy is already self-sabotaging and I'm sure he's going to start self-destructing very soon as well.

End of thought. Clicking play again.

Ouch! Poor Diego 😰 Lila, that is not how you cauterize a stab wound...

"what happened?" -your dear daddy stabbed you, dude.

Did she really need to strip him so thoroughly? 😏 Yes, yes, she did.

Well, at least she's not sewing you up, Diego. No needles, yay.

"oh, he isn't dead." "Disappointed?" "To see you? Always 😊" -did I mention I love Five's sass? I did? Well, I do.

Old family friend 😆

"you don't untie him?" "Was I supposed to?" Oh Lila, you're adorable, poor Elliot.

Vanya, that is suspicious as hell, just mow down that weirdo!

Ok, good instincts but too slow.

Run, girl, run!

Got to admit, these Swedes are good battle strategy, they are surrounding her surprisingly well.

Is this were the badass Vanya promo was from? Show me badass Vanya, please.

BADASS VANYA! 💖

Ooooooh, very smart, Five!!!

One of the machines though? What are the others for? I'm curious.

Plano Street Rooming House for Solitary Men? That's real depressing, Luther.

It's the "the end is nigh" guy the same that was screaming with Luther in ep 1?

King Kong! Not sure if cute or rude af...

Ahahahah! Luther literally STUMBLING on "Allison" and then acting like an awkward Steve Rogers when the kids call him out 😆 Boy, when will you realize that your obsession is creepy?

Honestly, ALL the Hargreeves siblings can be divided into two categories- sweet awkward dork or sass king/queen, there is no in-between (but Diego and Klaus get to be both).

Convenient that Vanya would just sit there and wait to be found by Five but ok.

"I have a brother?" -honey, you have five (pun fully intended)

IKEA MAFIA! 😂

Nice crop circle, Vanya.

Five just rolls with the amnesia, huh? Doesn't even question it. Ok, then.

Why is Ruby, notorious mobster, sewing sequins? It's it for the dog? I bet, it's for the dog.

"Hargreeves. She your ex?" *Cue Luther's super awkward fumbling* "S-Sorta...Y-Yeah. Sure." - big boy, this is the point where you realize how creepy your crush on your own sister is, time to reevaluate.

KLAUS AND ALLISON REUNION! THEY ARE SO CUTE! 😭💜

Honestly, I need more Klaus and Allison interactions. They have so much bff potential.

*le gasp* "oh, you're married?" 😲 -yes, Klaus, you met him.

"dicks, drugs, debutants. My holy trinity" -ok so everything Klaus says should be taken with a grain of salt but does Klaus still do drugs or not? Considering the evolution of his powers with Ben I'd say no, but we aren't seeing other ghosts harassing him so... Hmm, I need confirmation.

"alternative spiritual community" my ass

Ah, Allison falls into the sass queen category.

Allison can have a little PTSD, as a treat. 😢

Those shoes! Hi, Handler.

Those shoes really are her signature by now. Those heels could kill a man.

Handler as a brunette...? She looks good but I like her bleach blonde.

What did she say to make that boy pee himself?? Damn, Handler, no wonder your kid is a mess.

These dudes need to start listening to my girl Allison, instead of following her husband like puppies.

Great speech, girl! ✊

What is up with that sandwich???

Oh wait, it's Ben right? Klaus is using his powers to get Ray out of jail, isn't he?

Yup, of course he is.

Ben being all sassy and cocky about it gives me life.

"high places" - 😆

Poor Ray, you have no idea what you've gotten yourself into.

"family barbecues are about to get reeeeeeeal weird" - I'd actually like to see that.

"leave the pot, dear" - you're such an old man, Five.

"any questions?" Five, if be worried if she DIDN'T have questions after all that.

"asteroid impact" -aww 💜 you really do care for her feelings, Five... But you have to tell her the truth sooner or later.

Harlan likes classical music, huh? Good thing he knows a good violinist.

Harlan and Sissy... 😭 My poor heart.

Ouch! What is wrong with you, Lila? You're right but what is wrong with you?

"I can't believe I got shanked by my own father" - can't you, Diego? Really? After everything else that man did to you and your siblings?

"man to man, that son of bitch wouldn't stand a chance" - yeah, he would, he taught you all you know, boy

Not sure if Lila's story is true or not but... I still have that one theory that she was born on October, 1989...

"I don't understand you!!!" - ahah, poor Diego 🤣

Really? Right in front of Elliot's tuna mold?

Man, Handler is really obsessed with Five...

Oh, Luther, you giant puppy...

This is so AWKWARD!

Bonbons, Luther? Really?

Ok, this small talk is even MORE AWKWARD! It physically hurts to listen to this.

The pain in his face and voice when Luther goes "S-so great" 😭

boy, this is the moment you realize it's time to move on, you're not isolated teenagers in a dysfunctional home anymore, let her be your sister and find love elsewhere.

The sit in!

"seven languages" sassy, sassy, I love her.

YOUNG DAVE!

Oh no... Klaus, no, baby... Oh, this is painful.

Ben, don't be mean, let your brothe have this.

What kind of gay man doesn't know what eggshell is? 😆

"is this considered stalking? 'cause I think you're stalking now" - well, BEN, following your brother 24/7 for 15 years can also be considered stalking

Oh no, Vietnam flashbacks... Poor Klaus 😭😭😭

"Vietnam fling"? Ben, you know it wasn't just a fling! Stop being mean.

Aw, Klaus just wants to save Dave... He's willing to sacrifice their relationship to save Dave's life... 😭😭😭

I know Ben is just worried but he could be less mean...

Damn, this sit in thing is really upsetting...

Why is Ray being weird? Is he suspicious of Luther and Alison's relationship? Or is he just unhappy that Allison kept secrets about her family?

Oh Luther, no... Self-harm by proxy is not going to make you feel better.

Oh, motherfucker! That coffee thing was such an asshole move!

Shit, this scene is so well written, the way something so small is making the whole protest escalate to all hell... The police brutality, the parallels with recent events... Disturbing and brilliant and deeply relevant!

Yes! Rumor that motherfucker, Allison!

Oh no, don't be scared of your wife, Ray! Don't be suspicious!

Poor Allison... 😢

Oh Luther, you dumbass... 😢

Lila going to meet mommy, huh?

Oh, she's still wearing Diego's bracelet. Cute.

I know this scene between Handler and Lila was supposed to be a shocking plot twist but after David Castañeda's interview slip up, I already knew.

Still, an excellent scene and very cool surprise.

Like I said before, I really like Lila, I don't trust her AT ALL but I like her.

...

THIS WAS SUCH AN EMOTIONAL EPISODE... Again.

My god, this show gives me life.

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching JIBcon videos (part 1 of ?)

Cockles panel

in which Misha still has an unapologetic pee kink and Jensen is way more submissive than I remember him being

03:44pm (may 24th nz)

i legit don’t know if i have the energy to watch and type about this but i’ll try. might pause and come back a different day if i need to

watching this first

“JIB10 - Jensen Jared and Misha panel part1″

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRPKIAeNoFA&ab_channel=thiniassk

-

03:54pm

needed a break already but hi i’m back feeling less sick

LET’S BEGIN

-

03:55

misha: “he was like “let’s do this”... and i went on stage and... jensen went to the bathroom”

pfft

-

FINAL JIBCON??? OH NO??????????? OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

;n;

i’m sad now

aw

-

danella: “some issue backstage, we don’t talk about what happens backstage”

misha: “did he not MAKE it to the bathroom?”

misha !!....

mishaaaaaaaaaa

i wanna squish his face between my hands and just sigh lovingly

kinky little asshole, i love him

-

seriously he’s been on stage less than three minutes, jensen’s not there, and he’s already pulling stories out of nowhere implying that jensen pissed himself 

i can’t even

-

04:02pm

https://youtu.be/fRPKIAeNoFA?t=2m54s

jensen: “do you need help?”

his voice is so gorgeously deep and warm

-

misha: “do you need a pair of dry pants?”

i can’t think of words but

//clutches my head and whines

does jensen have context? does he just get on stage and the first thing he’s asked is whether he needs fresh pants??? whY DOES HE THINK MISHA IS ASKING

-

jensen: “i’m not wearing any pants”

T

THEY

ALL THEY DO IS FLIRT

-

04:08

this was such a soft and submissive hug??????????/ jensen just??? slid up and???? aWWWH

-

AND THEN HE JUST

“I LOVE YOU”

RIGHT OFF THE BAT

OKAY

OKAY I’M ON BOARD

GIVE ME MORE OF THIS X10000

-

jensen: "and there’s a reason i haven’t told you that today”

misha & jensen: “”’cause you/I don’t”

STOP THIS

jensen: “I’M KIDDING”

CEASE AND DESIST

misha: “about what”

EXACTLY

misha looks at jensen like., oh man. :c he laughs after but he’s a tiny bit jilted there. love is always a joke ;<

but also misha gets it, jensen’s a wee bit awkward in front of an audience but he’s MAKIN’ AN EFFORT DAMMIT

-

04:14

they’re sitting so close

-

jensen: “alright, driver, what are we listening to?”

DID HE JUST

(i mean, driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole, obviously)

jensen just gave misha the driver’s seat

he’s so goddamn submissive????? i just

i haven’t watched or seen anything with fresh jensen in like. months. MONTHS. maybe a full year since the last jibcon. and i completely forgot he was like this

especially with misha

i know i often interpret dean as submissive but actually?? in comparison to jensen those lil occasional traits are nothing. jensen’s just openly and unapologetically putting misha in charge with words and with the way his body moves

he’s so soft.

SO soft.

-

and when misha doesn’t answer for a few seconds, jensen looks over, first into his eyes, then down to his lips, checking his expression

misha was kinda stiff before but he got stiffer, ponderous

i honestly, HONESTLY didn’t think i’d be analysing body language this time round but i can’t help it, its so obvious to me, more obvious than it ever is with ANYONE else

these two just give off MASSIVE signals, all the time. maybe because they’re actors and they’re not currently acting, but are performing their own selves, so they perform a heightened version of their personality. but there’s so much to see

plus like. you can see in the background how jensen holds the mic. both protective and phallic at the same time. flirty and nervous and relaxed

-

and THEN MISHA SAYS “we’re listening to the song “why are there so many songs about rainbows”

everything is not-so-secretly gay

this is a rainbow bullet train heading for rainbow city and there’s no stopping it

-

04:26

https://youtu.be/fRPKIAeNoFA?t=5m5s

misha pushed the mic down to whisper to jensen, then jensen’s like “no~. no~!!” and then flirty and winky and “teeease”

WHAT DID THEY TALK ABOUT

maybe about how far they wanna go on stage idk. THIRD BASE MAYBE

or how much of season 15 they can talk about

either way misha was tryna keep it private and jensen was literally broadcasting his answers into the mic. jensen is 100% an exhibitionist.

you know what, i love that look he gets in his eyes when he’s flirting with misha in front of people. you know the look. dark eyed, uncontrollable smile, head set a little down. really open shoulders, probably swaying hips, if he’s standing. ugh i love that

but like. i’m pretty sure he flirts different if nobody’s watching. i think if nobody’s watching (or if he doesn’t realise people are watching) he’s just a regular guy talking to his best friend/wife. except his wife is sometimes misha. some of that big smile, definitely some unnecessary touching and preening and back-of-neck-holding

the crazy thing is i’m essentially making that up, but we all know his movements and behaviour with misha so well i don’t think any of us would struggle to imagine it was true

idk

-

04:37

i will never get tired of seeing them lay their heads on each other’s shoulders

also sidenote: in my opinion this is the best beard + haircut combo jensen has ever had

-

04:39

jensen: “misha......... what’s your latest dad joke?”

-

jensen: “we’re telling stories about CARPOOL now”

i love that they already know each others’ stories and jensen’s like OOH THIS STORY and comes back to sit down to listen

-

04:41

crowd: “we love you misha”

jensen: “thanks, misha’s mom!!!”

and then he looks at misha so softly and so lovingly, he’s not joking any more, he just loves misha as much as the rest of us, maybe more

someone called “we love you jensen” but he didn’t react at all because he was appreciating misha, didn’t even blink

(also as i re-read this post i realise he said “misha’s mom” in a way that’s like “hey stop flirting with him, he’s mine” not in a “dear misha’s mother, thank you for giving us misha”)

-

jensen: “you speak in more puns as a dad. yeah~”

the way he says that with a smile and a nod. like he observed that in misha and also in himself maybe

but he just finished misha’s sentence

they are MARRIED

but i for one ADORE puns and even if i was the only one in my year 10 economics class who laughed at my teacher’s puns i STAND BY THAT LAUGH

-

“when salmon spawn in a stream, and then they die, and an otter eats the carcass”

HE’S TALKING ABOUT HOW HE MAKES MORE PUNS NOW

AND HE’S RELATING IT TO THE CIRCLE OF LIFE

MY LOVE FOR HIM GROWS BY THE HEARTBEAT

-

04:48

there we go, hand on the back of the neck/shoulder

-

THE FIRST QUESTION WAS “can you maybe take a sip of the apple juice”

GET DRUNK !!!

AND THEN MAKE OUT !!!!

yes please

jensen looks at misha checks with him, and then says “no!!!!!”

because he knows flirting will happen

BUT THEn MISHA

GETS UP

GET THIS BOY DRUNK

HELL YEAH

nesnej is much flirtier and we all enjoy it

but like. jensen said no but then he shuts his eyes and shakes his head when misha gets up, knowing what’s gonna happen. ‘cause like. he could say no again. but he already consented to misha leading this thing, right? and if misha hands him a drink he’s gonna drink it. that’s just what’s gonna happen.

and he knows misha’s not getting up just to get himself a drink. there’s something very specific about getting jensen drunk. he knows what he’s like drunk. and so does misha.

i just need to enjoy for a moment how jensen’s vehement resistance to getting himself a drink is immediately completely overridden by misha’s choice to get a drink for him, and jensen gives zero argument. the moment misha moves jensen’s gives over to knowing he’s gonna get tipsy

i have literally never in all my life seen anyone as easily and happily submissive as jensen is with misha

-

05:00

HE COULD SAY NO. HE COULD SAY NO

BUT MISHA DOESN’T EVEN FORCE HIM HE JUST OFFERS IT AND SAYS NOTHING

AND JENSEN GOES “awww mannnn” buT THEN TAKES IT with an “alright~” before he’s even done complaining. as though the complaints were all a farce to begin with and he was eager to say yes?? maybe he likes being drunk and flirting with misha, no surprises there. maybe the look he gave misha before saying “no!” was a permission look saying “yes but only if you make me”? they clearly communicate a lot unsaid, i wouldn’t be surprised by that either

i swear to god this is a sex scene. i’ve written this but with water instead of booze. nobody can convince me they don’t do this in private, drink a lot so they need to pee and get drunk and flirty. *o*

and i am kind of reeling right now. i should sound like i’m making this up but OH BOY THE WAY THEY TALK. THE WAY MISHA OBSESSES WITH PEEING (and has done so consistently for years, especially with jensen). THE WAY HE JUST HANDS JENSEN AND DRINK AND JENSEN TAKES IT. misha wants jensen flirty and REMEMBER THAT TIME HE WAS DIRECTING AND HE MADE JENSEN DRINK THE SAME DRINK ON CAMERA 20 TIMES OVER

-

jensen watches misha drink first

and then he drinks

-

i’m so wrecked by all of this right now

legitimately

their energy is so sexually charged??? and so comfortable and so loving

this is not at all the same aggressive sexual energy jensen brings to the stuff we see in the gag reel, i.e. “pranks” i.e. flirting. but it has equal magnitude imo, it’s just quieter because he’s being himself, not dean (and jared’s not there)

misha knows jensen so damn well and even that bullshit about whether or not jensen loves him was understood to mean “i do but i’m self-concious about being firm about it in front of an audience” and then jensen shows his love instead of saying it (but even then he made a point of saying it straight away)

but oh LORD the biggest thing i’m getting from this so far is that jensen is indeed misha’s princess-slash-cabin boy. and we should never ever doubt that misha used those terms in an affectionate, dominant sort of way. (on the one hand i’m wary about the use of a ~feminine~ term as a means of domination, in general, but on the other hand, I AM SOOO INTO IT for them specifically. maaaay have written "princess” into a destiel fic that one time)

-

anyway where was i

oh yeah jensen just agreed to get drunk because misha wants him to

-

05:25pm

you know what, i’m gonna stop here and come back maybe tomorrow. i didn’t finish this video yet but there’s still a part 2 of this panel, and then other panels and i’m definitely not getting through them all today, these last 11 minutes of footage have taken me almost 2 hours to watch

i’ll post more of my reactions under #Elmie watches things so ... stay tuned!!

[melodiiousnocturne]

(  dylan  wang  ,  cismale  ,  he  /  him  ,  kingdom  hearts  )  *  &.  i  know  it  must  be  scary  for  you  ,  demyx  ,  after  surviving  the  takeover  .  to  turn  into  someone  like  myde  lu  ,  a  twenty-one  year-old  part  time  clerk  at  the  hq  and  part  time  instructor  at  the  record  scratch  ,  right  here  in  castle  town  .  just  remember  that  you  are  as  easygoing  as  you  are  indolent  ,  and  to  be  wary  ,  be  safe  ,  be  true  to  who  you  are  :  neutral  through  and  through  .

hi  as  i  said  in  gc  ,  this  is  one  big  tl;dr  i’m  a  demyx  stan  !

BEFORE  CASTLE  TOWN.

where  do  i  begin

demyx  —  number  ix  in  organization  xiii  (  demyx  vc  :  are  we  still  gonna  call  ourselves  organization  xiii  now  that  there’s  14  of  us  ?  )  he  is  ...  lazy  .  arguably  the  most  cowardly  of  the  bunch  ,  doesn’t  like  fighting  ,  and  would  rather  nap  or  play  music  .

that  being  said  ...  despite  his  very  emotional  exterior  in  comparison  ,  we  have  seen  that  he  can  get  just  as  serious  /  dark  like  the  rest  of  them  if  he  really  needs  to  ...  

idk  i  have  a  lot  of  feelings  .

he’s  very  ??  idk  how  to  explain  it  bt  like  .  “  what’s  in  it  for  me  ?  ”  (  as  we  really  see  in  kh3  )  &  like  .  i  wld  say  he  is  a  mix  of  ravenclaw  /  slytherin  just  .  minus  the  whole  cutthroat  ambition  of  slytherin  etc  bc  tbh  that  isn’t  him  .  he’s  kinda  just  along  for  the  ride  .  i  am  rejecting  those  MoM  theories  and  i’m  not  sorry  ab  it  idc  if  they  say  it’s  true  ,  i  REFUSE  .

i  feel  like  since  demyx  allegedly  never  remembered  his  somebody  life  ,  he  probably  didn’t  care  as  much  ab  the  whole  kingdom  hearts  thing  because  he  didn’t  drink  the  kool-aid  because  like  why  would  he  want  a  life  that  he  doesn’t  even  remember  you  know  ??  plus  it’s  —  he  already  knew  xemnas  &  saïx  were  fucken  lying  when  they  said  the  nobodies  didn’t  have  hearts  JKDWJHSNS  why  did  he  need  to  be  a  somebody  to  regain  a  heart  when  he  believed  he  already  had  one  !!!

whatever  ....  lmao

anyway  demyx  in  the  manga  was  honestly  a  mood  and  a  half  i  adore  him

when  he  was  brought  back  to  the  organization  for  kh3  ,  he  was  made  into  a  seeker  of  darkness  —  meaning  baby  water  boy  got  NORTED  .  his  ears  didn’t  appear  to  be  pointed  in  some  way  (  like  the  others  )  so  it’s  safe  to  say  he  didn’t  get  as  much  of  xehanort’s  heart  placed  inside  of  him  .  bt  it  was  enough  to  turn  his  pretty  blue  eyes  into  that  ominous  gold  .

regardless  ,  he  was  benched  despite  going  through  that  whole  process  which  like  i  HIGHLY  doubt  is  an  easy  one  to  even  do  (  so  good  on  demyx  for  being  strong  enough  to  withstand  it  ,,,  )  bt  it’s  !  to  be  noted  !  because  he  felt  bitter  ab  being  demoted  after  ,  and  ofc  with  a  mystery  incentive  from  vexen  ,  demyx  finally  took  the  offer  of  backstabbing  the  organization  (  read  :  it  goes  back  to  what  i  said  ab  him  being  like  well  what’s  in  it  for  me  .....  since  before  he  got  apparently  satisfied  enough  ,  he’s  like  uhhhh  sorry  bt  have  u  seen  what  happens  to  idiots  who  betray  these  guys  lol  like  idk  ab  all  that  )

so  basically  self-preservation  of  a  slytherin  .  there  i  said  it  !  plot  twist  he  isn’t  a  coward  ,  he’s  just  smart  enough  to  not  throw  himself  head  first  into  danger  .  go  figure  ,  right  ?  like  look  alright  he  may  be  comedic  relief  bt  ...  he  is  also  more  than  that  !

in  the  organization  he  was  known  to  kinda  be  a  bully  /  play  pranks  /  manipulate  others  into  doing  his  work  for  him  bt  at  the  end  of  the  day  he  ??  isn’t  like  .  REALLY  a  bad  guy  or  whatever  .  saying  it  was  the  pressure  of  the  organization  is  dulling  everything  down  ,  because  he  still  actively  chose  to  do  what  he  did  and  didn’t  do  and  i  will  hold  him  responsible  for  it  ,  bt  .  u  know  .  shit  happens  !

like  we  have  canon  evidence  he  wld  join  in  xigbar  when  it  comes  to  the  more  like  .  idk  i  guess  harsher  teasing  ?  and  all  ?  and  like  again  demyx  made  the  conscious  choice  to  go  along  w  it  so  he  isn’t  innocent  bt  ,  i  firmly  stand  by  saying  demyx  unintentionally  looked  up  to  xigbar  despite  even  ‘  fighting  ���  with  him  ,  bc  ..  well  .  i  stan  them  being  a  That  duo  .  because  to  me  ,  he’s  just  a  prankster  who  wants  a  laugh  ..  even  at  the  expense  of  another  ..  which  yea  idk  still  yikes  ...  bt  it  isn’t  like  ,  malicious  ..  when  he  is  on  his  own  ..  imo .  i  mean  take  the  days  manga  ,  he  puts  a  whoopee  cushion  on  axel’s  chair  ?  bitch  pls  ..

(  also  quick  going  back  to  him  being  strong  enough  to  accept  getting  norted  —  please  just  remember  ....  nobodies  aren’t  even  supposed  to  exist  !  they  only  technically  form  when  the  person  who  lost  their  heart  is  strong-willed  &  tbh  ?  i  think  it  speaks  volumes  for  demyx  bc  despite  the  show  he  puts  on  ,.....  he  is  there  .  )

alright  so  look  i  know  i  sound  like  i  am  in  denial  of  the  MoM  stuff  and  that  mayhaps  be  so  .  however  there’s  definitely  smthin  off  .  like  we  KNOW  he  can  be  uhhhh  a  pos  like  the  remark  he  has  in  days  ab  how  the  castle  that  never  was  is  quieter  without  everyone  who  was  eliminated  at  castle  oblivion  ,  bt  —  it  was  always  a  really  weird  line  to  me  because  he’s  always  been  branded  as  the  most  emotional  of  the  organization  /  the  one  who  adamantly  believed  they  had  hearts  the  whole  time  ?  which  .  inch  resting  !  i  wld  like  to  formally  say  ONE  OF  THESE  is  a  fucken  coping  mechanism  of  sorts  or  smthin  bc  it’s  really  ...  a  lot  and  nothing  makes  sense  and  like  that’s  the  entirety  of  kh  lore  in  a  nutshell  bt  ya  .  like  i  think  it  ties  into  the  whole  self-preservation  thing  bc  it’s  like  ,  wow  they  really  went  and  got  themselves  fucken  murked  ...  how  dumb  ...  bt  at  the  same  time  bc  like  again  the  biggest  pusher  for  #nobodieshavehearts  ,  it’s  like  “  oh  that’s  depressing  ”  &  like  .  a  mess  .

idk  what  else  to  say  for  this  besides  he  was  really  great  at  recon  &  apparently  was  a  keyblade  wielder  in  the  past  !  which  subsequently  makes  me  emo  on  main  bc  he’s  really  out  here  like  lmao  nah  that’s  ...  it’s  cool  bt  like  hm  idk  sounds  like  kinda  fake  u  know

again  fuck  canon  if  it  does  u  know  what

AFTER  CASTLE  TOWN.

where  do  i  begin  ,  chapter  2

now  myde  is  actually  my  hc  somebody  name  for  demyx  so  like  going  off  that  it  technically  is  his  real  first  name  ....  he  just  doesn’t  know  that  bc  although  he  survived  this  ,  he  didn’t  uh  really  remember  his  old  somebody  life  so  like  lmao  fuck  all  honestly  this  life  could  be  his  real  life  for  all  he  knows

except  he  does  know  it  isn’t

so  like  he’s  ??  more  of  a  somebody  in  castle  town  opposed  to  a  nobody  meaning  he  !  has  a  whole  fucken  heart  now  !  although  because  his  eyes  are  still  indeed  gold  ,  he’s  kinda  like  well  shit  is  old  man  xehanort  still  in  there  too

anyway  myde  lu  ..  my  son  ...  the  memories  of  castle  town  life  are  .  something  else  .  he  grew  up  with  a  single  mother  who  worked  odd  jobs  here  and  there  struggling  to  make  money  to  provide  .  so  while  demyx  is  like  ah  fuck  working  i  don’t  wanna  fucken  do  this  ,  he  got  two  part  time  jobs  the  moment  he  could  to  help  her  out  .  because  even  if  she  isn’t  his  real  mother  ,  it’s  ???  really  nice  to  have  someone  caring  ab  him  :/

he  rooms  with  neko  /  noriko  now  because  an  ad  on  craigslist  bt  he  still  sends  some  of  his  paychecks  &  like  whatever  money  cut  he  gets  from  the  troubvdours  (  also  ,  ironically  from  a  fucken  craigslist  ad  !  )  etc  to  castle  town  mom  bc  honestly  life  in  castle  town  has  kinda  uh  .  made  him  like  .  wow  wait  fuck  haha  oh  man  i  actually  ????  i  can’t  just  nap  and  play  music  and  do  whatever  i  want  ??????  like  i  mean  he  still  does  bt  castle  town  memories  /  the  life  he  was  forced  into  here  made  him  arguably  more  responsible  even  though  he  is  still  a  little  shit  and  completely  at  the  same  time  not  that  responsible  in  the  slightest

it’s  like  .  fake  getting  ur  life  together

idk  he  doesn’t  like  all  the  work  like  he’s  exhausted  bt  it’s  paired  simultaneously  with  he  ?  kinda  also  doesn’t  mind  it  solely  bc  there’s  like  ,,  a  benefit  from  it  ?  like  with  the  two  part  time  jobs  (  which  one  is  being  a  music  instructor  like  i  feel  as  if  he  doesn’t  consider  that  one  much  of  a  job  bc  he  gets  to  play  music  !!  )  it’s  being  able  to  help  the  poor  soul  who  got  stuck  as  his  ‘  caretaker  ’  KKDKWJSJSJ  and  with  the  band  it’s  .  bc  he  is  passionate  ab  music  and  again  although  exhausting  he  loves  to  do  it

boy’s  chaotic  neutral  as  always  bt  i  suppose  castle  town  is  bringing  out  those  hidden  good  tendencies

hmm  he  is  forever  bitter  ab  the  fact  he  didn’t  get  his  sitar  tho  ....  what  the  fuck  is  he  gonna  do  w  his  stupid  organization  cloak  huh  ?  my  god  

so  he  picked  up  rhythm  guitar  bc  it’s  like  .  the  closest  thing  without  getting  an  ACTUAL  sitar  ,  because  !  arpeggios  is  actually  a  rhythm  technique  &  that’s  what  his  sitar  is  named  so  ....  food  for  thought  i  suppose  .  plus  this  world’s  sitar  isn’t  the  same  anyway  :/

despite  being  natural  blond  in  game  etc  i’m  making  the  executive  decision  to  say  he  was  given  naturally  dark  hair  in  CT  &  now  has  to  keep  bleaching  /  dying  his  hair  blond  bc  ....  he  does  not  think  he  suits  black  hair  .  nor  does  he  want  to  .  it  reminds  him  too  much  of  like  idk  xigbar  or  vanitas  or  whatever  with  the  dark  hair  +  gold  eye  combo  u  feel  JDWJJSJSNS

he  dated  isolde  in  CT  &  honestly  i  suggested  it  to  bloom  as  a  crackship  bc  haha  different  bt  then  it  got  really  soft  and  really  emo  so  here  we  are  .  they  close  tho  now  still  &  she’s  the  only  person  he’s  opened  up  to  ab  his  real  life  /  the  organization  so  far  !!

he  is  bi  :/  and  sad  :/  bt  honestly  mood  ,  i  say  as  i’m  pan  not  bi  bt  whatever  :/  

anyway  part  500000  ,  he  sleeps  at  the  library  sometimes  bc  big  gay  still  for  ienzo  and  likes  to  really  just  hang  around  them  bc  he  wants  them  to  remember  being  zexion  ....  &  well  .  more  selfishly  he  wants  them  to  remember  him  bt  like  y  a  h

+  for  the  fact  i  have  not  really  mentioned  it  :  he  still  loves  water  iskaksns  catch  him  like  .  chillin  in  his  bathtub  for  hours  like  bitch  stop  wasting  water  and  the  water  is  FREEZING  by  the  time  he  does  decide  he  is  finished  .  he  misses  his  water  abilities  ok  .  he  can  probably  like  move  stuff  a  little  bit  here  and  there  bt  it’s  Nothing  like  before  :/  yeah  .

idk  what  else  this  is  a  mess  !!  please  plot  with  me  tho  uwu  xoxo