#he rly not thinking about anyone else!
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the fact that Natsu got a whole snow harem of women he cares about and Gray only had Juvia only shows how obsessed he is with her now lmao
#gruvia#fairy tail 100 years quest#the solee woman at the center of all his affection#he rly not thinking about anyone else!#one track mind head ass
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i think collectively we have been too focused on the part of that one tango stream where etho talks about his insane desk setup that we got distracted from him saying HE PLAYS GUITAR???????
#nobody understands the implications this has for me#i just love guitarists i think they're so cool#like why have i not seen anyone else talk about this#i remembered it and had to go back n check i wasn't making things up but no. he said he plays guitar#this is just like how we all collectively moved on from him saying he works out Way too fast.#i'm rly normal about him btw... anyways#etho#ethoslab#horsemeatposting#hermitcraft#hermitcraft 10
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watching lovestruck s2 and why is shayne the champion of they/them ze coupelit....
#does anyone else think about how shayne tends to they/them random characters sometimes. its very sporadic#the other time i rly noticed was angela's chosen in chosen moose master#shayne doing this also confuses chanse a few times in episode 2 (after he spent most of ep1 thinking coupelit was a woman)#its just very funny. i like how chanse changed what he was doing like 3 times because shayne was just so confident w they/them#smosh lovestruck#smosh games#smoshblr#smosh
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why is it always the forbidden fruit that entices me the most (´ . .̫ . `)
#🚶🏾♀️ not that it impacts the way i feel about anyone else but i actually do fr love my manager and it's crazy bc idk how or when this#happened. like i have fun by myself n i love my friends but i rly am at my happiest when I'm next to her huh (´ . .̫ . `) ♡#and that is a wild way to feel about someone i work with let alone who supervises me akdkaka#i still can't believe how naturally and affirmingly “i love you” jumped out of me the other day without thinking about it#and i do??¿ after thinking about it??¿ i would literally do anything for you#and she said she loves me too 😵💫 and we've never articulated that before. and now our talks feel more personal than before but it#was a much bigger conversation for sure (´ . .̫ . `) she's out of work this week though and I'm thinking about her.#🚶🏾♀️i wanna show her my knife throwing but idkk...... struggling w where the line between professional and personal needs to be 💀#i treat my work friends and my real friends very differently lol. i don't know (´ . .̫ . `) aaa#now that i said it it's like a dam of feelings burst ૮ – ﻌ–ა girl...#she has a husband. but he's a scrub. but she's my boss. but we're already so sweet to each other. but i shouldn't. but i want to#aaauuugghghfhfghhghkhkjltlskxkvofjw !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ignore me and my pining (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ♡ im crazy about that girl. i really am huh.. 🚶🏾♀️#if you got to hang out with her u would get it.... i can't believe her man ain't shit... pls let me give u my attention#u don't have to be mine nor am i wanting that but let me take care of you (。ノω\。) ♡ u work so hard for everyone else#she's fantasizing.... ......... wanting.. contemplating...?..?? no. no....??¿......? ......... 😐 hm#lmao
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To be fair kidnapping Chay wasn't Vegas's fucking plan, Tawan is just insane. Agreed though I think Kim and Porsche are decent in-laws
I know it was left a little vague, but in canon, Tawan went off Vegas’s plan by accelerating it.
Vegas and Porsche make a plan to pick up Chay the next day so he can join the two of them on the run. while that itself wouldn’t be kidnapping, Vegas’s entire plan was to. y’know. frame Porsche as a sell-out and kill him and Chay to cover it up. kidnapping Chay and holding him hostage is still part of that plan, it was still going to happen—Tawan ruined it by kidnapping Chay before Vegas could.
also, even if it wasn’t, Tawan kidnapping Chay in the first place was to help Vegas. this doesn’t necessarily put that blame directly on Vegas, but who the fuck would blame Porsche if he were really fucking pissed at Vegas for it anyways? bros don’t kidnap other bros little brothers, not even tangentially >:(
but Porsche doesn’t hold it against Vegas! he might’ve let it go because of unusual circumstances and how he was short of options at the time, but Porsche overall has astronomical reserves for forgiveness. he quietly works through his feelings when he’s upset with people and usually comes out the other end having forgiven them—see Arthee, see Kinn, see Vegas, hell even see Khun! the only person he doesn’t forgive is Korn (who killed his father, kidnapped his mother, forced him into the mafia, and fucking more) (fuck Korn). getting back to my point—Porsche doesn’t hold grudges against people, and he most certainly is going to start with Kim.
Porsche just plain isn’t going to hate Kim for any of the mafia shit, or even anything that went down in Kim and Chay’s canon relationship. they’re dumdums in love, but Porsche will let them sort it out themselves (may I remind people that Porsche only punched Vegas once for KIDNAPPING AND TORTURING HIS FRIEND even while also giving him the chance to talk shit out with Pete—Chay might be more of a hot button than Pete, but Kim only hurt Chay’s feelings and ran away, Porsche is not so irrational). sorry nonny, I did not mean to go off on a rant here, but I despise this trope where Porsche hates on Kim because it:
a) completely disregards who he is in canon and massively distorts Porsche’s character into this irrational piece of shit hypocrite
b) overrules Chay’s feelings/choices/decisions just so the author can be mean to Kim
c) Porsche’s gaydar got replaced with a nongdar. the only person who adopts more little brothers than Porsche is Tankhun—Porsche 100% sees angry little bitch Kim and goes free brother! without stopping to ask permission
#kinnporsche#i swear I’m not mad or annoyed at you anon!#i just rly rly RLY hate this trope and thinking about it makes me rant-y 😅#anyways porsche adores kim I will beat this drum forever#and eventually write feral raccoon duo AU#EVENTUALLY#i deleted this part of the rant but the other facet I hate in this trope is that *grabs soapbox*#Chay doesn’t hate nor blame Kim for the mafia shit#but he’s absolutely pissed at EVERYONE ELSE for it#Porsche left him to join the mafia#Vegas embroils him into mafia plots#Kinn keeps Porsche in the mafia#Khun’s coping mechanisms seem callous and cruel at first glance#it’s going to take A LOT OF WORK for Chay to be okay with any of them#the only one he’s willing to forgive right away is Porsche and that’s only because he cares about Porsche more than anyone else in the world#but the mafia still puts a strain on their relationship#i have many feelings about Chay’s relationship with the mafia#maybe even as many as I have for Porsche & Kim
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Sometimes I get worried about whether smth I'm doing is wildly ooc but then I'm like This Is Fanfiction, what the fuck ever
#speculation nation#sometimes i dramatize things for fun even if i dont think thats 100% how theyd be in canon#like obviously i try to stick to their personalities as much as possible. but like#i think stressing forever about whether smth is 100% in character isnt productive for anyone.#as my friend allen puts it. instead of asking Would they say that. ask what would Make them say that?#im perhaps a little anxious about my dad vash fic im coming up with being seen as potentially ooc or whatever#like for one. no it wont just be domestic bliss whatever. hes got some awful mental health to sort through.#but also. even if it was just entirely domestic bliss fic. who the fuck cares?#im bothered by this actually. the degree that some people police everyone else's works like. u dont Have to read them man#if all ur doing is complaining about how None of the fandom is doing things 'right' then like. u dont have to look at it??#fuck dude i got some characterizations that drive me up the wall to see but i just fuckin leave them be.#i maybe spent too long scrounging in a negativity cesspool out of. i dont fucking know. morbid curiosity maybe#and it made me feel self conscious but at the end of the day. who the fuck cares!!!!!!#no one knows everything and touting yourself as the one who knows Everything and is Always Right is a: blatantly incorrect#and b: exceedingly obnoxious and self-absorbed.#ive got my opinions and preferences about fics. im not making it other ppl's problems. come on.#this is... man i guess it's a vague post. but it's not about anyone who follows me. if ur worried.#i dont prefer to do vague posts these days bc. ya kno. but GOD it rly is rubbing me wrong actually. ugh.
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doing the equivalent of gripping something intensely hard then forcing myself to let it go every time i see something about the stupid fandom drama i got pulled into earlier this year
#nothing bad ppl just... bringing up its existence...AGAIN......#every time i see it i wanna go on a rant for a billion years but the worst place to do that would be on tumblr#I rly don't wanna see anyone talking abt it unless it's to criticize the ppl who started the false accusations or to apologize to us#for the harassment#Buster: You Really Think Someone Would Do That? Just Go On the Internet and Tell Lies?#anyway I cant believe ive had the misfortune of interacting w some1 who has to b vindictive toward others to quell their own insecurity#to accuse us of racism because he wasn't allowed to be in a personal friends discord group...#and then saying that we didn't wanna let him in bc he wasn't a 'popular' account? 1. he has way more followers than some ppl in the server#hence why he was able to get so many ppl to attack us#2. he can't keep his own story straight. First we're racist then we're ableist then we gatekeep popularity?#Dude... we don't like you because you're vindictive and take minor slights way too personally...hence...everything that fucking happened#anyway idk who reported him but i thank them for it and i hope that was worth their account getting suspended for getting paid to harass us#to anyone outside of all this reading this mess... please question the validity of ppls accounts if they don't offer concrete proof#and the only proof is based on assuming that certain actions COULD POSSIBLY line up to the accusations#this includes if multiple people have the same accusation without proof because that's EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED#except it was dumber because several of their accusations literally contradicted themselves#wowww people apologized and informed their audience about possible microagressions once they were informed. they MUST be racist!#and if you don't want to dig into it that deep..then by all means mind your own damn business before you join in on someone else's witchhun
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Part of me is team "leander is like that to everyone" bc he also plans to recruit MC into his Bloodhounds in the future ("not yet"). Despite knowing the Bloodhounds for years he isn't close to them. Makes me think he ups the charm and seduction to anyone who may be of use to him to get them to pledge their allegiance.
#his jealousy could be because he wants this power to be something he owns and not be taken away by anyone else#the emotional exclusivity (from touch) is a bonus to his egotistical nature#but idk...who knows.....#it just doesnt make sense for me that he instantly holds genuine affection just because of touch. because what about all#the other people he knows aside from the other LIs who have left him? why would MC be special other than what their power could#do for him and how their touch boosts his ego?#love at first sight doesnt exist in a world like this. but maybe obsession is.#redstrewn leandering#youre telling me not ONE person has been tender with him in all these years? while he acts like THAT???#i dont believe it#“love will never end” in the audio files is the only thing that is standing in the way of this theory of mine. but maybe it's one-sided.#if this is too upsetting feel free to ignore me im just projecting my emotional defense pessimism onto this character#it simply makes no sense to me that being the one exclusively touched is what makes him genuinely in love#it simply makes no sense to me that this is the first time hes been treated tenderly#i have met too many ppl like him#they make u feel sooo special and then SIKE it never rly mattered who u are. just what u could do for them#the difference is hes hot and big and buff and has no regard for the laws of his universe and will inevitably eat shit#ofc im hooked. i wanna see him eat shit. also kiss him#ofc this is a ROMANCE game and hes still a love interest. but i think his true romantic feelings might come later
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fuck
#like idk i never realized just how bad she hurt me. i didnt even rly realize she hurt me at all#bc there are so so so many ways she sldve reacted so much worse. but like i never thought someone cld just straight up ignore it.#like i get the way i told her was dumb and confusing. ok. i can understand that. whatever#but idk. she said she wished my sister had told her years earlier so that she cldve helped her back then#but then suddenly it's different when it's me. suddenly it's 'but youve always been my little girl' and 'oh i dont know that sounds dangerou#s' and 'are you sure?' and 'how long have you felt like this'#well it's been almost 5 fucking years now and it hasnt changed. i havent changed. fuck#i trusted her. i trusted her to be there for me and to support me and to accept me and she threw it back in my face and never even blinked#i can never ever trust her again and she doesnt care. she doesnt even know bc shes so wrapped up in all the fucking lies she tells herself#fuck. she did everything wrong. fuck. i can never fully trust anyone with this part of me again bc of her#and it's awful bc it's such an important part of me. it brings me so much joy and i think on it often and i love myself for it#but it's just simmering in my chest and every time i think of letting it hit air again i freeze bc i thought it was safe once and it WASNT.#i wanted to get my name changed before high school. i wanted to start the medical process. i wanted all the thing i thought shed do for me.#my wants and my understanding of my identity has changed now but it still hurts.#it hurts so bad to see other ppl my age get all of that and to have the support of their family and to not be afraid to put a name to it all#im happy for them. but it's so awful hearing her point those ppl out w no self awareness like oh thats so good for them isnt that sweet#I AM RIGHT HERE! YOU COULD BE DOING ALL OF THAT! I NEEDED YOU TO BE THAT FOR ME!#and every time she does acknowledge it she gets it completely wrong or it's just to bemoan how little she understands#'oh everyones changing their name now its so confusing' 'im really trying i dont know what else you want from me' NO YOURE NOT! YOURE NOT!#YOUVE NEVER BEEN WILLING TO TRY. NOT FOR ME.#you never fucking loved me you loved the idea of what you thought i would be and you cant fucking let it go even when the truth is staring#you dead in the face. fuck. you complain about how i 'hate you' or 'think youre stupid' well maybw treat me with an ounce of respect and act#like you understand the things youve EXPLICITLY BEEN TOLD. even a little.#but honestly it's too late. if she were to suddenly have a change of heart now i wouldnt give a damn.#the damage is done you dont get to have this part of me and act like youre such a good and supportive mother.#i cant even say i hate her. i love her but shes hurt me more than anyone else ever has and i can never trust her to actually love me or even#fucking see me or support anything about me that actually matters to me#i dont know. i dont know. thinking about it again.#ive thought abt telling my dad. not bc it wld do any good but bc ik he values honesty and maybe hed throw me a 'damn that sucks'#my sister said this is something i have to fight on but she doesnt get it. i have no ground to stand on as far as shes concerned
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The entire T8 story is on YT and I hyperventilated so hard you'd think it's not 30 something F right now but 55
#I AM SCRUBBING THROUGH THE ENTIRE THING TO SEE ASULILI FIRST BECAUSE I MUST#and i have to say so far...Ehghhhh like yes im happy to see them finally be portayed this way but at the cost of not having much to Do#in ways which surprised me with how quickly it moved or wasn't rly addressed so tbh I'm in between about this#NO ONE can take away the silly and cute shit they did from me though#Asuka being chill w Xiao & Panda though like they were in the pachislot 💖#AsuLili are also cool with Alisa- they got the pachislot gang together again instead of the comics w Leo at least they got friends#HOWEVER I WILL SAY I WAS VINDICATED A LIL- when the 'Why doesn't Asuka know Jun?' question was sorta answered#ALSO SORRY LARS FANS HE MADE ME LAUGH OUT LOUD IN THIS ONE- YOUR MAN IS SO GOOFY#needed to pause when i saw the motorcycles 🤣#Nina's VA is awesome in this too#**SPOILER**hmmm ok i think i know what's not sitting right w me: This is 100% The Jin Game at the expense to everyone elses character depth#if you like Jin then you'll most likely love this one if you like anyone else or are neutral on him you're sifting through scraps#and the scraps all come in different sizes- which kinda sucks HOWEVER now that this is out the way it does set up a T9 without this problem
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portgas d ace trans metaphors. inmy brain. something something taking on a name in his mother’s honor not out of a sense of filial duty (or not entirely, anyway) but because it’s something to call his own. what’s in a name. he gouges out his own identity and he does have something to prove, but he finds his way. he finds family. he has dadan and makino and the bandits. he has his brothers. he has whitebeard and the army of siblings that comes with that. the anger inside him, directed both inside and out, tempers, even though it never completely leaves. the question of whether you deserve to exist, and being met with anger from strangers at the idea that maybe you should be alive. it’s two in the morning and i can’t think straight but You Understand. You Understand.
#ANYWAYSSSSS smth about identity and self and the burden and the joy of existence. whatever#there’s a joke about self-made men here#haha. anyone else think about how for years ace thought he was unlovable and yet it’s what defined his life#his birth. his childhood. his death.#so maybe i like ace more than i thought. also the trans hc suddenly fits rly thematically well the more i think abt it#just u watch there’ll be a forever unfinished character study in my docs within days abt this#riko.txt#ace
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regardless if it’s a timeskip or not i do think the new outfits signify a new chapter in their lives??? like in the case of bat:
kuukou’s still punk still monk lol but more importantly, he still has his sachihoko symbols on his haori thing. kuukou’s always changed the symbols on his coat whenever he gets a new one so it’s an important point!!! sachihoko are guardians to protect from storms so kuukou still has his protector/protection imagery
jyushi’s overcoat is still the same style but it is longer and darker and his outfit as a whole is grandiose lol like even more vkei, so i’d say this is jyushi’s final form a jyushi more true to himself and braver than ever before and ready to perform on his biggest stage yet
hitoya’s i’m not too sure actually lol but it reminds me a lot of his fit back when he helped out kuukou and jyushi. if that’s the angle then it might have him playing support for whatever he’ll be getting into as jakurai’s partner. also lends to his own knight imagery since that’s the period of time we see him as a defender
#this is vee speaking#i didn’t have the bandwidth to actively think about rosho’s glasses#but it struck me as closure for rosho and i read a thread yesterday that filled in the blanks for me lol#rosasa back at again with their self contained story lol#rio i’m kinda excited for lol he took off the uniform!!!!!!! is his war about to be over??????#gentaro took off two elements of his outfit i think?????? like that black coat is gone and so is his turtleneck!!!!!#he’s opening up y’all 🥹🥹🥹#what’s cracking me up about jiro’s fit is that he’s wearing that plaid button shirt UNBUTTONED#AND UNDERNEATH his usual black shirt like bruh lmao#ichiro!!!!!!! is back in black and red!!!!!!!! he’s back in his tdd era colours where he actively wanted power!!!!!!#similarly samatoki is back in leather!!!!!!! (MY LONGEST YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII EVER)#he wore aloha shirts after the tdd timeskip and i’ve always been of the opinion he’s wearing comfort clothes since he’s been that depressed#so maybe now that nemu’s okay and thriving!!!!!! he can be a leather baby/daddy again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#juto and red has always been a Thing the brain just hasn’t ever made the connection with why red’s important to juto and i’m sad ☹️☹️☹️#he looks good but i still don’t know what red means to him ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️#ramuda in posse yellow ;w; his beret is rly cute too he wore a hat during the tdd era and i feel like that’s the trend with tdd#they’ve rediscovered their purpose from back then 🤔🤔🤔#and so with sensei uhhhhhh well it’s certainly the brightest version of his clothes yet 😭😭😭#he’s peak happy by this point maybe and i do wish that for him lol#anyone else i didn’t mention i’m still thinking on lol
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girlboss trio
#i have khajiiti lore on the brain again (specifically hircine and azurah and nirni and#like ? azurah and hircine have a lot in common when u think about it?#theyre both associated with transformation and renewal and rebirth and the moons and#and they both played a role in creating the khajiit ouuhhgh#also their shared fondness for prophecies 🤨#i think theyre secretely besties#i find it funny that according to khajiiti lore hircine is older than just about every other daedric prince exception for hermaeus mora#yet he barely interacts with anyone else#i love him being classified as a wordly spirit it makes so much sense to me#i think he actually rly likes nirn. its full of life and nature and cool creatures#i dont think he'd ever want to destroy it 🥲 i dont see him as destructive at all#but thats just me#im very fond of hircine even tho he does some Scary unhinged things at times#i have hircine brainrot (affectionate)#elder scrolls fave right there#txt
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Also I think its time for me to come clean but I know very little about k!pyros lore but wants to find out more but also don't have time or attention spam to watch
No that's so fair I'll be honest if I weren't so fucking autistic about some of the ksmp characters I would not have the attention span or capacity to pay attention to ksmp LOL
I like to think I understand k!pyro like some of the best out of everyone and Jack would probably vouch for that but I cannot for the life of me sit and explain lore
#Yes I could explain Linc's so far pretty easily LMAO but like others not rly#K!pyro's lore timeline I could not explain in full I wouldn't immediately remember everything#There are some big things I could go over briefly but smaller things I would forget#Honestly with ksmp if you know/understand general characters you can be an enjoyer enough . Imo#Like fuck knowing the lore I think it's fun if you just like the characters cause look#Ksmp is at a good time only for Americans I think . It's at 8 pm EST.#If you don't watch from the start of s1 you're fucked on lore unless you can sit through the VOD channel#There's no good guide to watching the VODs up to the current point because not all POVs are necessary to watch really#So it's hard to properly get into atp like very hard#So if people don't know lore I DON'T BLAME THEM.#And the community doesn't help I'm sorry do not listen to 90% of what people say.#Just listen to me. Honestly. Literally don't ask anyone else about lore. They'll just talk about clownzy.#I'm deadass they will find a way to make everything about Clown or the Branzy cameo (HE'S NOT COMING BACK.)#Ignore them .#Anyways all that to say. I support ksmp enjoyers who don't know the fucking lore for 90% of it#It's not easy LMAO#Stream-only lore is hard for me to stay with and that's why I adore ksmp being in relatively short sessions on a consistent schedule#Every Saturday 8 PM EST unless something comes up. It's spaced out it's consistent it's a great schedule#In principle. The time is not great for Everyone sadly#Hell it's awful for basically all of the cast it's mostly Aussies waking up at like 8 in the morning#《👾》
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.
#this might be the hardest thing i’ve ever had to get through to the other side of in my entire life#i’ve started feeling bad anxiety about the whole situation#even though the second thoughts have never been so strong#also despite work guy playing no role in this i am really worried that knowing there’s someone into me has given me this false sense of#security? that i’ll find someone else#even though at the same time i keep telling myself that i will never find someone who loves me like this again#and i do believe that#i can’t shake the thought that i’ll be leaving the best thing i’ll ever have and settling for second best for the rest of my life#all in the name of new experiences or ‘doing things on my own’#like i havent actually got one good reason to do this#im just ruining my life and hurting someone i love and adore for the sake of.. literally nothing? bullshit reasons#it’s a complete mess and i keep wishing the timing was different#but i have to remind myself that there’s no other version of events#this is the only timing#im worried ill destroy us both and i don’t think ive actually even come to terms with the full extent of the loss id be facing yet#even though ive been in tears at least once a day for a while now#im also freaked out about how i met work guy before things (potentially will) end(ed)#like to be very clear there’s nothing happening there other than the fact that he’s made it somewhat clear through hints that he’s into me#but i feel like the fact that we get along as friends and that i know that he likes me to some extent makes things worse#like as if there’s ‘someone else’ when in reality i’m just having a crisis for no good reason and finding mild comfort in the fact that if#things do end at least i know that there are people (or person) out there that still find something redeeming about me#but that isn’t even all that comforting bc obvs work guy has only known me like two months he doesn’t rly know me at all#so i come right back to the belief that i will be alone and i am terrified#i don’t think anyone will be able for me the way he is. it feels like abandoning a soulmate#like telling your best friend you never want to see them again while also telling yourself to come to terms with only ever finding less#i don’t think ill ever ever get over this if im honest even if i decide to go through with it and it works out#like the fact that we would become something that will forever be in the past the idea of becoming strangers#it makes me sick i can’t fathom losing this let alone making the choice to give it up#part of me still feels like maybe we would find our way back to eachother down the line#i do really believe it even if that’s something everyone tells themselves
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Ykno I think it's kind of funny how some people r so against sharing that they're into any fan stuff ever with Anyone they know irl. Then there's me. I'll tell my friends. I'll tell my family. I'll tell my COWORKERS. That I write fanfiction.
Like it's rly not that big of a deal I don't think. I like my funny little guys and I like to put them into situations. It's pretty normal.
#speculation nation#my dad sometimes mentions how he wishes id let him read my writing hfkshfj#my grandma too. and im just like#u guys wouldnt rly understand it Anyways and it's uh. well. 'personal' i tell them lmao#my sister has commented in such conversations that she has access to my writing but doesnt read it bc it's just not made for her#bc she follows me on here (Hi Sis if u see this lol) and obvs i have my works linked#then theres my coworkers. for the ones im chill with im like 'if u get into the thing im writing for then i Actively Encourage u to read it'#bc they count as friends and so im like. Look At It. u must hear about my little guys. i will tell U sooo much#i think my lack of shame about this stuff is bc ive long cast off the shackles of trying to be 'normal'#i know im not. i embrace it. if anyone else has a problem with it thats not my problem lmao#living a more authentic me. fanfiction writing and all.
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