#he remains the funniest person on this show

[joekeerys]

AEGON II TARGARYEN being a comedian

"Aegon the Magnanimous, Second of His Name, King of the Andals, and the Rhoynar, and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm. Hail King Aegon!" "...The Magnanimous?"

[chosok-amo]

‘ I DARE YOU .ᐟ

ryomen sukuna. you want to break up with your boyfriend, ryomen sukuna, so he dares you to say that to his face

beware. nswf! sukuna x reader, slut, whore mentioned, chocked, over-stimulated reader

You nervously leaned against the pantry table in your kitchen. One of your hands rested on your other hand which was curled over your stomach— you bit your nails. Your eyes focused on the flat object on the table in front of you. Many times you put your hand up to take the object but your intention was stopped a second later— you continued like that for a while until you finally decided to make up your mind. With a slight tremor, your finger presses something, producing a ringing sound.

sukuna :

yes, babydoll?

You were silent for a moment when you heard the deep voice of your lover, Ryomen Sukuna. Your guts suddenly shrink and your body fills with adrenaline. You bit your bottom lip and remained silent for a moment. Your head was spinning at what you had been thinking about the last few weeks. You no longer want to be in this toxic relationship. You were tired of fighting with Sukuna, spending your tears crying over him. You're tired of his big ego and his attitude. You're tired of your lover. So you sighed and made up your mind again.

you :

let's break up

Silence for a moment from across there. Your chest was pounding as you waited for a response from your soon-to-be ex-boyfriend. You only heard Sukuna's heavy breathing before a mocking chuckle was heard. He's always like that, always never taking you seriously. He always chuckles, laughs mockingly and looks at you as if you are the stupidest and funniest person in the world.

sukuna :

say that to my face y/n, I fucking dare you

you :

I'm done with you, I want to break up

"Are you sure?"

You quickly raised your head when you heard Sukuna's voice only to find him standing not far across from you with a cell phone in his left hand pressed to his ear and in the other hand you could see several paper bags with well-known brands. He put his cell phone in the pocket of the trousers he was wearing and stepped closer. You pulled your lips straight as you lowered your phone and placed it on the pantry table. Sukuna was standing across from you— your bodies were blocked by a fairly large pantry table.

As usual, his pink hair was neatly styled, showing off his forehead. Tattoos adorn his handsome face which now looks expressionless. You corrected your posture and stood up straight. Your head is straight ahead looking at your lover confidently— at least try to look confident so that your lover knows that you mean it. But Sukuna can see you like an open book. He can read all your movements as if he had been studying you for decades.

“You know there's no breaking up in this relationship, y/n,” he said.

You rolled your eyes. “I can't deal with you any longer, Sukuna. I'm tired of your bullshit,” you say. You looked at him lazily and crossed your arms in front of your chest. Sukuna raised an eyebrow as he looked at you. Slowly he stepped towards you and stopped when he was standing behind you. “If you are tired then take a nap,” he whispered into your ear from behind. His hands held your arms gently but firmly.

His skin touching yours sent a tingle of excitement and you held your breath as the heat from Sukuna's breath hit your bare neck. You gripped the pantry with both hands and closed your eyes as Sukuna pressed his lips to your shoulder. “N-no, I don't want to take a nap, I—” You try to move your body away from Sukuna who has now pushed the front of his body to the back of your body— until you can feel his bulge being pushed against your ass which is only covered in white lace underwear.

Before you had time to move away, Sukuna quickly cupped both of your breasts. You only wear a lilac crop top without a bra. Sukuna's big hands gently squeezed your breasts from under the t-shirt you were wearing. "What do you want baby? Tell me," he whispered in your ear in a low voice. A soft moan came out of your mouth as his two index fingers moved in circles on your protruding nipples. Sukuna knows all too well how that has always been your weakness. Your body leaned against Sukuna's hard-rock chest. With your eyes closed you stammered trying to answer, "I.. I want to- Ah!" You let out a small scream when Sukuna harshly pinched your nipple.

"What is it, sweetheart?"

You could feel him smirk at his tone. He sounded like he really enjoyed what he was doing to you. Sukuna's hands wildly played with your breasts and nipples— squeezing and pinching them. "Tell me, sweetheart. What do you want? I'm all ears," he teased as he licked behind your ear which succeeded in making your legs weaken and a delicious moan escaped your mouth. Hearing this, Sukuna grinned even more happily. You bit your bottom lip in hopes of holding back the moan that was forcing its way out. You moaned when Sukuna's hand slowly came down and pressed his finger firmly on your clitoris which was starting to swell.

"Already wet for me? You're such a slut, y/n, I barely touched you," he said. His long middle finger trailed across your folds, running them up and down. Sukuna's one hand was busy playing with your breasts while the other was busy with your pussy. You threw your head back, onto Sukuna's shoulder as he in gentle, sensual circular movements touched your clitoris, you felt very sensitive to his touch at the moment. Makes you unable to properly digest what is happening and you almost no longer remember what you said to your previous lover.

"S-sukuna.."

"Yes, my lady?"

Sukuna kissed your shoulders and neck alternately. He bites your neck in small pieces, sucks, and licks it until he leaves kiss marks everywhere. You know what he's doing— marking you, so you don't forget who you belong to. "Stop.. ah- Sukuna.. I want to—ah!" Sukuna didn't let you finish what you wanted to say as he quickly moved his finger on your pussy. Your body is filled with pleasures that only your boyfriend can give you.

“Talk to me, y/n,” he said, teasing you.

"I want to break up with you, for fuck sake!"

You took a sharp breath and tried to pull Sukuna's hand away from you. But he quickly took both of your hands— grabbed both of your wrists with one hand and pushed you against the pantry table until your chest was pressed against the cold surface. "Fuck, y/n. You never understand, do you?" he asked, now starting to look a little annoyed. He held your hands behind your back- trapping you so you couldn't move. "Guess I need to remind you who you belong to now, y/n. I hope this time it gets through that pretty little head of yours," he said. So with one pull Sukuna removed your panties and ruined them.

"Ah!"

Sukuna slapped your ass hard, leaving redness there. You groaned in pain but Sukuna knew very well that you were enjoying it. He touched your thigh which was soaked with your own fluids. “Fuck, y/n..” he whispered to himself as he felt how wet you were. One of his free hands squeezed his penis which was now very hard from outside his trousers. Sukuna let out a sigh of pleasure before he pulled your hair until your head fell back. He inserted two fingers into your mouth from behind. “Suck,” he commands which you spontaneously go down on. You sucked his long finger, playing with your tongue there. "Such a whore, aren't you, my lady?" He said when he felt the warmth of your dirty mouth on his fingers.

Sukuna withdrew his fingers, placed one hand on your back and without further ado he inserted both fingers into your pussy, making you moan. His fingers slide in and out of your pussy, your supple walls hugging Sukuna's fingers. “S-sukuna.. please,” you moaned as you felt his fingers slowly stop moving. "What is it, y/n?" he asked. You swallowed hard, no longer concerned with your common sense, you just wanted to feel the pleasure your lover gave you. “I want to cum..” you whined pathetically.

“I can't hear you, y/n,” Sukuna said.

“Please, baby.. I want to cum, I want to feel your cock inside me,—” you cried. You feel like you can't take it anymore. Your body seemed to have a mind of its own and Sukuna's touch seemed to be a remote control. Sukuna chuckled evilly and he took his fingers out of your pussy. He eagerly undid the belt he was wearing before taking off his trousers and boxers alternately. You groaned when you felt Sukuna's long, thick, hardened cock slap against your ass.

“Fuck y/n! feel so good, always tight for me,” Sukuna moans while throwing his head back. Your body arches because of the pleasure as Sukuna inches by inches pushes himself inside you. Both of his large hands gripped your hips as your gummy wall hugged his long, thick-veined cock, sucking him to go further until the head touched your womb. “Fuck, fuck, fuck! your cunt hugs me so well, baby. Oh, god!” He keeps pushing until he's bottomed out.

“N-no, Sukuna— Ah.. too big, I-I can't—” Your hands moved behind you trying to push away Sukuna's body. You felt full— your body felt full of Sukuna's big cock. Sukuna shook his head and held your hand so you couldn't push him away. “Shh baby, don't say that, I know you can take me,” He shot gently. He pulled your body until your back touched his chest. One hand touched your tummy and the other grabbed your chin, guiding your face to look back. He pressed his lips to yours.

Passionately, he kissed you. He kissed your bottom lip, occasionally biting it there. Slowly he moves his hips in and out of you. He kissed your lips making your moans echo in his mouth, and vice versa with Sukuna. He bit your bottom lip again and pulled it between his teeth before kissing you again—this time with his tongue. He kissed you until you were out of breath and pulled your face away from him. A string of saliva connected between your tongue and his as both your mouths opened— trying to catch your breath.

Sukuna looked at your face with a happy heart and got more hornier. Just like he wanted— you were too fucked up to make sense of yourself. He saw how your cheeks were red, your lips parted to let out a dirty sigh, your eyelids almost closed. This is the effect it has on your body. He loves the idea he has of you so much that he is so crazy about it, just like he is so crazy about you. So with that Sukuna slammed his dick into your pussy so hard it made you gasp.

His hands roughly grabbed your neck, gripping it and pulling your face closer until your face was next to his. One of Sukuna's hands went down to your pussy. His finger found your clitoris again and rubbed it hard making your legs shake. “N-no, Sukuna— ah! please..” Sukuna ignored your moans and continued rubbing your clit until you couldn't take it anymore and released your juice, covering the pantry walls, you, and him. Sukuna smiled with satisfaction, “That's right slut, cum for me, feel good, hm? do you like it, y/n? Do you like it when I make you cum like a pretty little slut you are?” He talks dirty in your ear so sensually. Making your overstimulated cunt begging for more.

“Answer me, you slut!” He slapped your sensitive cunt making you yelp with pleasure. “Y-yes, I—” You can't continue with what you're about to say because Sukuna one more time pounds his cock roughly to your cunt. You can feel tears stream down your face because of how much pain yet pleasure you feel in your body. Sukuna brings you to cloud nine, making you want more. “Kuna, please.. f-faster, more, more, ah— please,” you begged.

Sukuna threw you a mocking chuckle as he gripped your neck tightly. He can feel your moan in his palm hand. “You want to break up with me yet here you are begging for more. Can't get enough of my cock aren't you, hm? You're such a slut, y/n, you're my slut,” he whispered his last sentence in your ear as he erotically bit your ear and licked it. He slowed down and pulled his cock out of your sloppy cunt. You let out a voice of protest and move your hips— looking for his cock, getting more needy the second you can't feel his cock. “Be patient and tell me that you want to break up with me,” he said to you.

You shake your head, “Please, kuna, fuck me, I want you,” you beg, shamelessly. You pushed your ass to Sukuna, hoping his gonna put his cock back at your horny cunt. Sukuna smirked, knowing damn well he got you in his finger, you never get enough of him, of his cock, that's for sure. Slowly, he pushed his still-hard cock back to your cunt. “Tell me, baby, tell me how much you want me to fuck you,” he whispered. You close your eyes and part your lips as you feel your cunt being full of Sukuna's thick cock again. “I want your cock— fuck! I want you to fill me in, I love you kuna,” you whispered without realising it, too fuck up to think straight.

The last sentence is enough for Sukuna to fuck you to oblivion. So he pushes your body back to the cold surface of the pantry. With one rough pound, his cock is fully inside your cunt. His swelling cock bullying your overstimulated cunt.

“Now you know who you belong to, every time you ask for break up, I'm gonna fuck you so hard until you lost your mind and only remember I good I made you feel. How you being such a slut for this cock and taking me so well,” keeps pounding his cock to you. And Sukuna doesn't plan to stop anytime soon. He had a whole night to remind you that there is no breaking up in your relationship with him. You had no other choice, it's not like you don't enjoy being fuck by your boyfriend anyway.

[bellisima-writes]

A GO Season 3 Fanfic Friday

Hello fandom fam,

First let's get a few things out of the way - I believe the victims, and always have - they deserve justice and what happened with GO S3, I hope, is only the beginning. Having a 90 minute series finale instead of an entire season stings, but if it protects vulnerable people and gives consequences for a sexual predator, then it is what HAS to happen. We can be sad, but we must remain enraged at the actual cause, and him alone.

NOW. This is a fanworks blog, so I feel compelled to shout from the rooftops - There are COUNTLESS SEASON 3 SPECULATION/POST SEASON 2 FANFICS OUT THERE. And I know there is a population of the fandom who avoids them because they don't want to be disappointed (I was this person) - but guess what! YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ANYMORE.

So dig in, let loose, read every bit of Season 3 fic as your heart desires and choose the one you love the most as your version.

Here are a few of my favorite completed Post Season 2 works that have stayed with me:

Please note - Now, I've not read as many post season 2 fics as others, and there are a few giants that are not on here, and that's not to say anything about the quality of those works at all. I am just a human, with my own tastes and things I gravitate towards and things I shy away from.

Most canon compliant:

Factory Settings - the original and the best with an air of mystery that makes it almost magical. This is the closest to canon season 3 story I've read. The gist is after Aziraphale returns to Heaven he finds the Starmaker standing in front of him in Crowley's clothes, with no recollection of his life as a Demon. It's a beautiful story that if you haven't read yet, you should.

Sexiest:

We Can't Keep Meeting Like This by @gingiekittycat - if you want to read the sexiest, angstiest, heart-breakingest version of Season 3 imaginable, this is it. I LOVED this story, but I love this type of angst, so proceed with caution. Aziraphale and Crowley meet once a year to discuss the Second Coming, but instead of planning they keep having sex. There is a fully blown plot driven story here that is so great. When you're ready to handle heavy angst and the hottest smut around, read this.

Funniest:

Trial & Error by @fellshish - Fellshish is my favorite author to read when I need to smile, and Trial & Error is a fantastic post season 2 fic if you need some levity and a lot of heart. The plot is simple - Crowley is brought to Heaven to face charges that he engaged in trying to tempt an angel. The way Fellshish writes Crowley is one of my favorites: carrying himself with both his heart on his sleeve while also maintaining an unwavering amount of self worth and confidence, even if it's fragile. Crowley knows who he loves, and he knows who he is, and I find the balance of the two is rare in post season 2 fics.

Fics by lesser known authors: I always like to highlight the works of a few lesser known fics because our fandom is overflowing with amazingly talented people. So here are a few I've read that stood out despite not being as popular as the ones above.

The Beginning of the End (Again) by @addledmongoose - a sweet post season 2 story that focuses on Crowley being employed by Hell to stop the Second Coming by showing Jesus around Earth and trying to convince him not to end the world. Supreme Archangel Aziraphale hears about these clandestine rendezvous and is...jealous? The characters in this are spot on, paying respect to both Aziraphale and Crowley. Some angst, but not much, and lots of sweetness. And BAMF Aziraphale coming in strong to save the day. I definitely hoped for some jealousy from Aziraphale around Crowley and Jesus' relationship in season 3, and since that's not looking likely now, this fic will always hold a special place in my heart.

A Place for the End of the World by @kitty-kat-undercover - another tender and unique take on a Season 3. The premise is, after Aziraphale returns to Heaven the Second Coming is happening fast, so Crowley heads to an old friend's house in deep rural Canada to spend the end of days time. The characters have a ton of heart with some really lovely OCs that rounded out the story nicely. The prose in this one are the standout, as well as the tender care and time that's taken to paint a picture of the beautiful landscape as well as Crowley's heart. Like a warm cup of cocoa, this one is a slower, sweeter take on a Season 3, but it could be what people need right now. Also, never seen a better take on jealous Aziraphale than in this fic. Raging, angry, jealous Angel.

And because life is short, I'll throw my own in here - Time Marches Forward. More of a sequel to Season 1 than Season 2, if Season 1 ended with the final fifteen. This story follows Aziraphale in Heaven and Crowley on Earth as they march towards the Second Coming. No book of life, no deconstructing what secrets lie in the final fifteen. In addition to Az and C, this story has an angsty and powerful teenage antichrist coping with the knowledge of what he is and how he fits into the world and the upcoming plans for everything to end, a witch contending with knowing she destroyed the key to saving everything, and a Messiah who's been left alone for 2,000 years, waiting for his "big comeback." Lots of plot, in-depth character arcs for everyone involved, an incredible amount of heart, and an actual resolution that includes justice for Heaven, Hell and humanity. This story is very dear to me.

AND IF NONE OF THESE SOUND GOOD - Here you go: Post-Good Omens (TV) Season 2 - there are over 1200 works under this tag.

Go forth and feast, dear fandom friends.

[antimatterz]

stupid for you !

pairing: dan heng, gepard, luka, sampo x gn!reader

summary: they have the biggest crush on you; how do they act? title inspired by waterparks - stupid for you.

cw: pining, fluff, some humor?

content under the cut | masterlist

dan heng

on first glance, it isn't at all obvious that this guy is into you. it may even look like he doesn'r really care about you, but you know that's far from the truth. it's just his placid demeanor. but march, who has known him for quite a while, clearly sees a difference in the way he acts around you, and doesn't waste a second to share her intel with you.

his solemn gaze of grey wanders to you more often than not, and once his eyes are on you, one could even catch him right up staring at you. discreetly, of course, but march notices. he finds excuses to be near you, even inviting you to join him in the archive room more often. he grows protective over you on trailblaze missions, often stepping between you and potential hazards to shield you from harm. the funniest thing – march's opinion – is how he is sometimes at a loss for words around you, which isn't like him at all. he stammers and falls silent, frustrated because he knows, too, that he's acting out of character and he's afraid that his crush will become obvious. i mean, it doesn't go by unnoticed, march knows. but despite that, he means to talk to you more, which says a lot because he usually remains silent even when conversations arise. he loves to hear your voice, so if he has to initiate conversations to listen to you, he gladly does so.

gepard landau

this guy is so obvious and it's adorable. the always so cool and collected captain of the silvermane guards, suddenly becoming a stuttering and blushy mess whenever a certain person is around? everyone notices, and he knows everyone knows. he tries so hard to hide it but fails miserably.

geppie loves seeing you around, and even though his entire demeanor falters when he finds you approaching him, he quickly scrambles himself together and offers you a cool smile. but the silvermane guards all noticed the switch in their captain. they don't tease him, though; that's serval's job. oh well, as long as he can hide it from you, he's happy. you have this effect on him, his palm turns sweaty and the strong and tough captain suddenly is a lost puppy trailing after you. whenever he knows he's near you, he makes sure to stop by, even when he's supposed to be on patrol. when it's you who's stopping by when he's on duty, his eyes light up adorably, and he has to look away for a second to contain the blush that creeps up his cheeks. gepard is an absolute mess when he has a crush, so you're bound to find out at some point – maybe when serval starts playing cupid?

luka

oh, this guy. always so carefree and optimistic. i swear to the aeons, he probably won't last long until he just straight-up confesses that he has a crush on you. but before he literally tells you so, he makes it quite obvious (deliberately) that he is into you. i won't say he's overly confident or anything, he just doesn't see the point of hiding it. seriously, what good does hiding your feelings bring?

his smile is a little brighter whenever he's around you, and his pretty blue eyes light up cutely. he loves it when you laugh at his jokes, so he cracks a few more – causing his friends to roll their eyes but he doesn't care, he just wants to hear you laugh. his fighting spirit turns up a notch when he's in the ring and he finds you in the crowd, and he might show off just a little to impress you. he likes to talk about you to his buddies, even when they get tired of hearing it (he doesn't care). i can see him as a touchy guy, so one of his ways to wordlessly convey his feelings is by touching you; draping an arm over your shoulders as you joke around together, taking your hand when he wants you to follow him, lightly touching your arm whenever the two of you talk, and so on – all while making sure you're comfortable with it. but as i said, this doesn't last long before he just wings it and confesses.

sampo koski

it's hard to expect when you're dealing with this man, since he's always nice to everyone and tries their best to flatter them – mostly to get something out of it or to get away with something. but when it comes to you, there's a sheen of sincerity in his eyes – which hasn't been seen often before.

aeons, for the ones familiar with sampo, they are so confused by what they see. it's always so obvious the guy is scheming something, sucking up to people because he needs their service or anything like that. but then there's you, and his friendliness suddenly seem a lot more genuine. and believe me, he is being genuine indeed. you've heard the stories about sampo that circulate around belobog, and you aren't too sure whether you fall for his act or not. but again, it's safe, as he's really into you and just shows his best side – but this time without underlying intentions. if any, his confident act is faltering and he gets a little shy/self-aware. you often catch him looking away, scratching the back of his neck as he doesn't know how to act or what to say around you. he is so used to sucking up to people for the wrong purposes, he doesn't quite know how to do this and it's kinda adorable.

[seullovesme]

slow dancing in the dark » irene

pairing ⥬ bae joohyun x reader

genre ⥬ angst

summary ⥬ you're in love with irene, but she's in love with someone else.

unrequited love

part 1 | part 2

you watched the girl talk so animatedly with the guy across from her. this was stupid. you should not have agreed to sit on the other side of the cafe from your best friend, who was currently on her date. she had asked you to stay in case something were to happen and of course being wrapped around her finger, you caved in and did as she asked.

it was clearly unnecessary because she was enjoying herself, and you were just sitting there like an idiot. an idiot watching the one she loves fall for a different person.

you weren't going to deny it for a second. you are in love with bae joohyun, the only woman who was ever able to increase your heart rate with a simple touch or make your head spin at the thought of her smile. she was your soulmate, someone who you knew would be there for you no matter the circumstance, your best friend. you watched her laugh at whatever that man said as if it was the funniest joke on planet earth. it made your eyes roll into the back of your head in annoyance, it could not have been that funny.

so lost in your own head, you didn't even notice their date coming to an end. joohyun stood up, the guy following after her, and she thanked him with a kiss on the cheek. it lit a fire in your stomach, the feeling of jealousy was something you were familiar with. after all, you were in love with possibly the most beautiful girl. but it was not your place to feel this way. it's not like you were her girlfriend or anything.

her date walks away with a huge smile on his slightly pink face, exiting through the main door of the cafe. you turn to your best friend who remained standing in the same spot, seeing her looking down and biting her index finger with a smile on her face as well. her smile was gorgeous, too bad she was thinking of another person as she gladly showed her pearly white teeth.

-

your eyebrows furrowed. you were lounging on joohyun's couch, mindlessly scrolling through your instagram that was ironically filled with image and pictures posted by couples. was the world playing some joke on you? you turned your phone off and put it down with a huff. how annoying.

the sound of clattering catches your attention and you stand up in a panic, making your way to the room of the other girl where the sound had came from.

"hyun, are you okay?" you ask in a worried tone as you opened the door, revealing your best friend picking up her makeup from off the floor. "ah, sorry if i disturbed you. i just dropped my makeup bag." she responded, glancing up at you once or twice in between words. you examined her figure, specifically her outfit.

"what are you so dressed up for?" you questioned. she completed collecting her items and zipped it closed before placing it back onto her vanity. she sighed in relief and grinned. " junmyeon asked for a second date and i said yes! i'm so excited to see him again after our first date. he's such a great guy and i really hope things work out between us, i've never met anyone quite like him."

at first you felt a little upset or hurt, but seeing how happy she was made it hard for you to maintain such a negative emotion. if you couldn't be happy, at least she was and if her being happy meant giving her up then you were content with your decision. hopefully he treats her like a princess, how she really deserves to be treated.

"i hope you enjoy your date joohyun-ah. i'll be heading to my place right now." you gave her a hug which caught her off guard for a split second, but she returned your comforting embrace. you closed your eyes and tried to memorize the feeling of her body against yours, and how great it felt to be so close to her. when you backed away, you looked directly into her dark brown eyes and engraved the image of them into your mind.

you thought you were being a bit over the top, but there was no way you'd be able to face her after this. not without experiencing those same butterflies you had when you were with her. she would be better off without being burdened by your feelings, and you were better off letting her go.

"i'll call you tonight like we usually do and tell you about our date when i come back home, y/n."

you nodded and turned to leave. once you reached the front door, you held the knob but the call of your name caused you to pause. "thank you for being there for me. i could have never asked for a better friend." your heart clenched at her words but you could only smile. it was just a reminder that you were just her friend.

"any time, unnie." you reply after facing her direction, seeing her stand a few feet away in a stunning red dress that you had bought her for her birthday. "let's call later?" she asked, and you nodded eagerly.

"talk to you later, hyun." you swung the door open and stepped out, closing it behind you. as you made your way to your car, you pulled out your phone and messaged a close friend that you were going to stay over for the night. after sending the text, you completely shut down your phone not planning to turn it back on later today, or maybe even for the rest of the week for that matter.

you'll probably also throw out the bouquet of red tulips you have in your car, there's no way you'll able to go with your plan and confess anytime soon anyways. not when she's found someone who makes her happier than you, it's just not possible. but her happiness over yours, right?

im contemplating on making a pt. 2 where they end up together or leaving it open like this

[celaenaeiln]

What's the deal with fanon Tim bc I read some comics with Tim and I've seen him in cartoons but all I see people talk about is "haha coffee addicted nerd who doesn't sleep!" and that just seems weird and wrong. Like my view of Tim has always been "he's a nice and extremely smart guy who sometimes pushes things a bit too far and maybe a bit set in his own ways/Batman's ways" but now I'm not even sure of that because I really haven't read THAT much (mostly seen him in other series) lol

No you're right!! Anon you're so right!!!

What the heck is up with fanon Tim Drake??

The thing about him not sleeping is actually true though

Detective Comics (2016) Issue #937

Batman: Contagion Issue #11

(I agree with Catwoman, Tim is so cute)

So I understand where the coffee addiction in fanon comes from but Tim's not actually addicted to coffee in the comics. I actually don't recall him mentioning coffee at all. At some point he might have but if he did, then those instances are so little in the grand scheme of things it might as well be called negligible if it's trying to be called an addiction.

But more importantly, Tim is so much more than that!! My favorite Tim Drake aspect of him is how sassy and sarcastic he is, it makes him so endearing!!

UGH NO ONE APPRECIATES HOW MUCH OF A LITTLE SHIT HE IS!!

Robin (1993) Issue #58

CMON CMON CMON LETS TALK MORE ABOUT THIS!!

Tim, you little shit, you know exactly what they say - cause you did it!!

HIS SELF-SATISFIED SMILE!!!

In all honesty I find Tim the funniest of the entire batfamily to read because he's so-he's so wholesomely quirky in a mean way. That's such as awkward way to describe it but reading his comics, you just can't get enough of them because he's just too funny!

At one point he has a massive fever and stuck underground with a bunch of weird kids and one of the girls is just like "please get better, please get some rest!" as she's wiping away his sweat and Tim has like no breath or energy at this point. But with the last remains of will power, he uses his breath to push one last question between lips.

Robin (1993) Issue #70

And as the audience waits in baited anticipation we get this-

Robin (1993) Issue #70

It's actually a very valid question and shows his detective thinking and yada yada yada but THE COMEDIC GOLD OF HIS TIMING!!

Like his situation and his question there's a massive gap that's almost incomprehensible about it all which is why it's so fantastic!!

The way he sasses batman is top 5 fav moments with him.

Azrael: Agent of the Bat Issue #91

Thanks @paladin-of-nerd-fandom65 for finding it again <33

But Tim overall is just like a normal kid. He's what authors tried to do with Stephanie but failed. They were able to make him relatable to the audience because the way he acts, it's so quirky but funny. Yes, he's a boy detective genius but he likes messing with people, he likes solving crime, he likes hanging out with his big brother, he asks for relationship advice, he can get insecure, he can get upset without acting cold, he gets tired, he gets anxious, he's determined, and he's super dorky.

Robin (1993) Issue #25

Like really dorky.

But what I think really defines him is this panel

Robin (1993) Issue #48

This scene is probably what explains him best. Tim is someone who ponders a lot. He thinks constantly all the time whether it's about cases or his personal life, he just goes over the choices he makes constantly because he's just soul-searching alot.

He always means well even if he's awkward about it and he's just a diverse personality overall. The fanon interpretation of his character doesn't really do him any justice because it doesn't address how funny he is or confused or just a likeable, real person in general.

[imagination-mess]

Reality Show: Pro Heroes Wives (Todoroki Touya Edition)

Todoroki Touya, his Pro hero's name is Hellfire.

Reference to Aizawa Shota Wife.

There is a reality show where pro heroes' wives are on television and paid to be there. It is filled with juicy gossip and pure drama. There are few wives in this second season who were kept out of the spotlight which adds mystery and theories to be created about who they were married to. 

The same winners who were in the group that couldn’t be identified are back this season as a surprise challenge.  Unlike last season, it wasn’t told in the very  beginning of this reason already revealed which Pro Heroes Wives will be featured

There are only a few left remaining without being matched which includes some of the well-known and underground pro heroes. Half of the cast already knew each other because their spouses have interacted on more than one occasion and are disqualified from participating in the weekend challenge of the show for those spouses. The others who did not know had to identify them, but the others did not spill any things that would clue who their spouse was. 

The only three people you know who are married are Aizawa, Shinsou, and by default Shouto’s wives. Aizawa and Shinsou's wives have gotten to know you very well and have hung out after this first season show. You were one of the three winners from last season. It was the funniest thing to see people mistake their husbands over and over again. 

It was also funny to hear the theories that other house members have for you because everyone is trying to figure out the other spouse in case of the elimination round. If you are able to guess correctly, whoever is on the hot seat, can stay while the other gets sent home. 

The Pro Hero Hellfire is unpredictable as far as the public goes. There is a mixture of hate and love toward the hero after an incident years ago. He had to go all out in a life-and-death situation. He had to do what had to do in order to come on top at any cost. He did lose his former hero rank, but remained within the top 10. 

Outside of the public eye, he is the private sponsor of those stores he destroyed with his flames back from the incident. He knew insurance would not be able to cover everything those people have lost. He may be an asshole, but he wasn’t heartless. 

What made you trend with Shinsou's wife was dressing up similarly to what your husband would do when he is out in public, another event of giving each other hints. It was the fact that Shinsou and Todoroki share similar tastes in dark aesthetics including the chains on the jeans. They both share the same placement of their tattoos whereas you used fake tattoos in the same placement. 

It was pure chaos and an argument being made by fans through all platforms. The arguments about who is married to whom.

The Mindjack and Hellfire fans are going at each other. 

Earjackfan#01 tweets: It has to be between Mindjack and Hellfire. *attaches pictures of the two pro heroes when they are outside of their hero suits.*

HellfireLeftScar tweets: This is evidence of [Name] being married to Pro Hero Hellfire *attaches pictures of the paparazzi and other pictures to support their claim*

MindjackSpeaker tweets: It is clearly Mindjack married to [Name]! *attach pictures of the two of you multiple times.*

MindSpeak tweets: All of you guys are idiots. Mindjack and Hellfire are friends. *Attached is a picture of Touya and Hitoshi going to a metal concert in disguise and another was taking pictures together at the recent Hero gala.*

HellfireScar tweets: That is not the same cat! All of you are f***king blind! *attaches Shinsou’s cat and yours* This is the identical cat *attaches todoroki's cat and yours* 

The social media you own has very little personal information about the expectation of your career and pictures of your cat along with beautiful scenery. The official account of Hellfire was filled with clues about who his spouse was. The picture always has his spouse cut out of the picture at your request. There were more pictures of the two of you have taken pictures that seem like “friendly pictures” where he has his arm around you with others. 

The picture that is really circling around was a year-old picture that Touya did not even know existed. It was a picture of a party where in the background Touya is kissing you and the light exactly hit on the outfits. It was blurry, but somehow people are trying to make connections between the outfits the two of you were wearing at that event in particular. It was in your favor that it was a mask theme. 

Touya changes his profile account to his cat poking fun at the cat theory. He also posted a picture of the two cats because he was taking care of Shinsou's cat while he was away on a mission. They look identical, but they were small details on their fur you could tell who was who.

Pro Hero Deku Edition

Pro Hero Dynamight Edition

Pro Hero Shoto Edition

Pro Hero Red Riot Edition

Pro Hero Eraserhead Edition

Pro Hero Mindjack Edition

Reality Show: Unmasked Pro Heroes

I can do a different version of having his relationship publicized, enough people wish to see it.

[tobiasdrake]

Episode 2 of Agatha All Along and the show remains a fantastic rewatch.

This exchange is hilarious in retrospect. Agatha tells Billy right up-front that the Witches' Road is fake. But he refuses to accept that answer and accuses her of trying to deflect him from his goal.

Originally, this scene came off like Billy showing his determination and persuading Agatha that he has what it takes to make this journey.

But in retrospect... Yeah, he just sounds like a naive teenager who thinks five seconds of Googling makes him an expert, mouthing off to the one person who actually knows how bullshit this is better than anyone because she wrote the fucking con.

He is not the hero of the piece. He is a child making mistakes.

Even after she's forced to play along and pretend like the Road is real, she still tries to warn Billy off of it. Because. Yeah. The legend has only one purpose: to kill witches and feed Agatha. Speaking of which.

This is it. This is what persuades Agatha that attempting the Road con is worth doing.

The camera lingers on the locket and Nicky's hair. Which is almost a red herring, as it leads us to believe that it's the locket that convinced her. It's not, though; the locket and Nicky are deeply connected to the Road, so this is still meaningful.

But it's those words: "You really think you can outrun them with no magic at all?" That's it. That's why Agatha chooses to "go on the Road". Billy made a solid point, and she could use a shot of magic before she flees the Salem Seven.

So. Sure. You win, Billy.

Let's go eat some witches.

In retrospect, this is the funniest line in the MCU. He has no idea. He has no idea how in over his head is, what he's participating, or about the numerous murders he's about to commit. XD

Holy fucking shit, no wonder Agatha began projecting Nicky onto Billy. This double-act to trick Jen into dying for the Witches' Road con is straight out of Agatha and Nicky's playbook.

This was their life together. If Nicky were alive today, this is what he and Agatha would be doing.

Alice has sharp instincts. She calls out the Witches' Road as a con and she is dead-on.

Billy corrects Agatha's use of that particular phrase but Agatha knows what she said. She is intends to smash these nuts, not crack them. This was a red flag that went straight over Billy's head.

"Hi, this is really awkward but everything's about to fall apart around me so I just. Need you to stand nearby and look like you're participating while I murder three people. Cool? Cool."

"I promise that as soon as this is done, I will leave you standing there shocked and horrified, surrounded by corpses, and bail faster than you can say 'Witness Testimony'! You should. Probably also leave at that point. Because. Y'know. Cops. Haha!"

An interesting detail that Agatha makes Billy leave the basement. She's trying really hard to pull the wool over his eyes. She wants to carry out this murder without him realizing what happened.

If everything went as planned, she was probably planning on scooting upstairs like "Sorry you missed it, everything happened so fast, but uh we did the Road thing and I got my mojo back so HOP IN THE CAR LET'S DRIVE".

She doesn't want him to see the true nature of the Witches' Road. This is a departure from how she acted with Nicky, who was fully aware of and complicit in the murders they carried out together... But also came to be bothered by them.

XD Don't worry about it, Sharon. It does not matter if you sing it correctly. The song does absolutely nothing.

Agatha suddenly gets fucking fierce as they near the end of the song. Just pure scowling malevolence. She gets aggressive, like she's preparing for a fight.

Which, of course, makes sense in retrospect. She is, in fact, preparing for a fight. Getting her game face on. Readying herself to get nasty and provoke the coven into letting her kill them as soon as the song is over.

This is her predator face. The prey is in sight and the hunt is on.

But this hunt doesn't go the way they typically do. Because she had to do it in a hurry. Lilia correctly points out how weird it is for Agatha to suddenly be slinging out accusations and insults like this when. Like.

The Road was her idea to begin with.

Lilia's like, "What are you doing, Agatha? This is your thing. This temper tantrum feels a little forced and performative."

I love how spooked Agatha looks when they open the doors. You can feel her going "What the fuck what the fuck what the ACTUAL FUCK"

She is so freaked out, she breaks character. Why are you so surprised, Agatha? I thought you'd done this before.

Why do you look like you've seen a ghost?

I think this is it. Right here is where she pieces together Billy's identity. She takes a quiet moment, still looking entirely WTF WTF WTF, to feel how real this space she's stepped into is. This space that shouldn't exist.

A few seconds spent just... contemplating the stairwell.

Then, when she finally begins to truly descend, it's with a smile on her face.

She's got it. She knows what this is. She's the only witch alive right now who can truly comprehend what this is.

Then, once she steps out onto "The Witches' Road" and takes in all of its splendor, she casts a knowing look back at Billy.

Billy thinks this exchange is about, "Yeah, I knew we could do it. Great work, team. We made it!"

But really, Agatha's expressing, "Holy shit, Wanda Jr., this is a hell of a thing you've assembled. Okay. Okay. I can work with this."

[mogamuncher]

“You're on a path in the woods. And at the end of that path, is a cabin. And in the basement of that cabin, is a knight. You are here to slay him. If you don't, it will be the end of the world.”

Please accept my meager shitty art as we come back for part three of the "Moga fuses her hyperfixations together" saga! Aka: Slay the Knight AU!

Here's what I think Emilia and Subaru would look like, in true STP fashion I imagine both would never be referred to by name, instead being The Knight and The Frozen Bond (hah, get it?)

I made Emilia a little scary (and kinda Satella-esque), but that's mainly because from what we see in The Princess and The Dragon route, The Long Quiet is just actually fucking scary, so having Emilia be similarly intimidating would be fun.

Though I do think her personality would remain the same in this au, mainly because she's nice enough that she would naturally play mediator to the the voices, but malleable enough that she could just end up going with their whims when pushed enough.

Now for Subaru, I actually wanted to give him a definitive outfit that would kinda function like the Princess's dress, something that is a constant in every design but changed to fit the theme, the recognizable trait that showcases that no matter how fucked up these forms get they're still the same person

That's kinda why the little cape is there, it's supposed to be a significant design choice that can be warped with future forms

For the official lore, I like to think that it's still actually very similar:

The Frozen Bond, the manifestation/god of stasis, consistency, the chilling frozen in time allure of stagnation

While Subaru would be something like The Returning Cycle, the manifestation/god if constant change, perspective and identities splitting depending on choices, the constant cycle of time

Together they'd make the cycle of life and death, in a sense, and since Echidna in canon was trying to find a way to reach immortality, it is only fitting that she would split them apart and attempt to pit them against the other, as to goad Emilia into killing Subaru, this ending the concept of change, making it so that there is no means of which others can die.

But that's what I have for the moment, now, let's talk about some more ideas I have for the IF Barus

The Prisoner, my beloved

I rewatched someone playing her route and it dawned on me when The Shifting Mound described her as a vessel, but she's oddly a lot like Slothbaru

The idea of someone cautious to the point of stagnation, content to let the world pass her and remain in inaction, I mean, that's literally what Sloth is shown to be in the og series. That's also inherently what Slothbaru did when he took Rem's hand and ran away, leaving everyone else to die, but gaining a happy life for himself

Prisoner is like an Slothbaru that can't take Rem's hand, content to let the world pass him by for the sake of self preservation, but stuck in one place without the chance of running away, he can only wait and see because he's inherently passive, as he thinks he has no other choice

The Adversary, however, is the funniest one I think

Someone mentioned in the last post in the tags that Adversary is kinda Smolbaru coded, so I went back to read the arena fights in arc 7 and y'know what? They're correct, they're absolutely right, The Adversary is very much just Smolbaru

Which is funny, because The Adversary is supposed to be bigger and stronger than usual, though maybe it's either just that his personality is Smolbaru and his appearance is still intimidating, or we go all in and have Smolbaru just absolutely kick Emilia's ass with his bare hands in this one

Either way, I love it, also this is the route where Priscilla (Voice of the Proud) would show up, so having an Arc 7 Baru here would be a nice touch

Ok so I'm about to sound unhinged, but the Grey's

What if they were Natsumi.

Now, look, I have no evidence to back me up on this, I'm going off from pure vibes alone, but like what if

Honestly, it would be fun to have most of the Deadbarus be in some way or another Natsumi coded, though that would be fused with the Baru that lead to their routes in the first place (like Arc 1 Baru for the Burned Grey and Slothbaru for the Drowned Grey)

I mean, look at The Wraith and The Spectre

Imagine if the Spectre was more akin to Natsumi in her purest form, since the Spectre is actually surprisingly chill and nice about this whole thing, and then if you attempt to leave him there, you get the Wraith

A withered rotten version of Natsumi, falling apart at the seams and determined to hitch a ride and finally leave

In more confirmed Barus; Wrathbaru as The Witch and The Thorn, Greedbaru as Happily Ever After and Arc 1-2 Baru as The Damsel, The Nightmare would be Gluttonybaru and A Moment Of Clarity would still be Gluttonybaru but with more Louis/Rui elements

Again, I accept suggestions, and tell me if you want me to make more art for this AU, maybe I can draw more Barus and also the voices, who knows?

Edit: good news gang, I actually did in fact write this! The first chapter of this au is out here!

[man-down-in-hatchet-town]

So I Spied Another Day...

You know it was a good show when you can’t decide whether your heart is so full from all the love and joy, or so empty because it's over.

Really do buckle up, because this is a long one.

So the show went a little like this. They played the Spies pro-shoot on a giant movie screen, but any time a song started, the audio changed to the instrumental track, the video typically faded to simple background graphics, and the cast came out to perform the number live in concert style. There were also a series of audience participation prompts up on the movie screen, such as standing to deliver a line in unison, giving Lauren a standing ovation for the Pay Attention! Reprise, enthusiastically booing Dr. Baron von Nazi and the still infuriatingly catchy Not So Bad (for anyone who’s curious, in addition to encouraging boos and yelled disagreements with von Nazi, they also cut the audience participation bit from the song).

The energy in the room was so electric and full of joy and warmth. People shouted out iconic lines, went wild for everyone’s entrances, and absolutely lost their damn minds over Curtwen at pretty much every opportunity. And the cast were clearly having just as much fun. Doing This has always been my favorite, and there was something so sweet about them singing it again all these years later. We finally got Joey performing Spies Are Forever (Evil Reprise) again and it was just as chilling and beautiful as you’d expect. And One Step Ahead was just on a whole new level. I don’t want to give anything away, but the details in that performance were INCREDIBLE.

It was simply so special seeing most of the original gang come back while also bringing some new friends along. Shout out to Mariah for coming out at the top of the show so ready to play, setting the tone for the whole evening. Shout out to James for putting his comedy chops on full display (LET JAMES BE FUNNY MORE) and dancing the hell out of One More Shot (another favorite number). And shoutout to Carlos Alazraqui (taking over the roles of Sergio and Vladimir Poopin) and Tommy Link for coming into this crazy part of our world with such enthusiasm and silliness. Brian deserves a medal for agreeing to once again play the most cringe-worthy character in all of Pulp-StarCanWrecked history, and for sounding so fucking good while doing it. Tessa was having a blast in full unhinged glory and I gladly worship at her altar. Lauren is maybe the funniest person alive and deserved her standing ovation, prompted or not. Seeing Joe Walker perform live has been Item Number One on my fandom bucket list since I moved to LA a couple of years ago, and I still can’t quite believe I managed it. I’d wondered if he’d be rusty, but honestly he sounded great; it was like no time had passed. Mary Kate still has one of my all-time favorite voices and her Tatiana remains forever engaging. Joey showed up dressed to slay as a gay evil genius Bond-movie supervillain and proceeded to thoroughly deliver on that promise. And Curt… every time I watch Spies I am increasingly blown away by what he does with this arrogant, broken mess of a character. He clearly loves Agent Mega as much as any of us, and to see a performance refined and powered by such clear and thoughtful passion is just a huge treat.

(And while he wasn’t in the cast, I can’t not mention Corey. Between his roles as director and co-writer, so much of what Spies is comes directly from him and we don’t appreciate that nearly enough. And shout out to Esther Fallick for her wonderful work as Susan and the Informant. She might not have been there in person, but her incredible performance was with us the whole time.)

I know this is preaching to the choir, but Spies Are Forever really is such a special show. It’s a story about recovery, and devastating as it can be, I think there’s also something deeply healing about it at its core. For one thing, I know it played a huge role in mending my relationship with my asexuality. I will forever be grateful to it for existing, to TCB, Talkfine, and the original cast for creating it, and to those same people for maintaining its legacy with the amount of love and care it deserves. It was a privilege to be in the room as so many people came to celebrate this miraculous little musical. There were a couple of minor tech glitches (I wonder if they’ll even include the “big one”—the projector jumping over most of the staircase scene before getting fixed—in the digital ticket version), but nothing that could even begin to damper the magic of the night.

We all know that spies never die (except for Owen and the Informant, oops). And at times like this concert, I think this special little show with its short run in 2016 will prove to be just as immortal.

[beevean]

You know, the funniest thing about how the games treat Dracula compared to the show is that the former have no less than four foils for our villain! To really hammer in the point that dude chose to be a bastard when he could have not!

Alucard also lost Lisa - he watched her die, he listened to her last words, and by all account it was a slow, painful death. He could have been angry towards the mob who unfairly put his mother through such a terrible death. Instead, accepting Lisa's final message, he chose to protect humanity from his father's fury, and kill him over and over which causes him so much internal turmoil that he'd rather sleep his life away.

Soma discovered that his fate was to become the Dark Lord. He simply refused. In fact, he was scared to become the Dark Lord, to the point of making Julius promise that if he lost against Chaos, the vampire hunter would kill him. Soma wants to be a normal human with his friends, and he'll fight to stay so. (worthy of noting that he's the only foil here who can't resist the darkness' call when he sees his beloved die, in DoS: Mina's Talisman can only slow the process down for Arikado to intervene in time. It proves that he really has to struggle to remain as himself)

Hector also was forced to see her beloved be executed in a sham witch trial - deliberately! Isaac deliberately set this up to enrage him to the point of being easily manipulable, and Death deliberately fanned the flames of his anger so that he'd succumb to the Curse and become Dracula. Hector not only directed all of his anger to the only responsible for Rosaly's death, but by the end he pulled back, because he realized that anger was not real, and recognized Isaac as another victim before peacefully moving on.

And Leon also had his fiancée die (see a pattern here), in fact he had to strike the fatal blow, under her request. Mathias honestly believed that because of this, Leon would understand his grief, and also renounce to God. But Leon not only had no intention to forgive Mathias for his cruel plan, he insisted that he'd rather live as a human and honor Sara's final wish, than exist for all eternity all alone, the fate Mathias doomed himself to.

So yes, eventually it almost becomes funny how much the games keep insisting "look at how much of a pathetic loser Dracula is. what a weak bitch. really thinks he's all justified because Wife Died™. Look at all these badasses with Dead Wives™ and how they still do the right thing! lol, dracula. lmao, even."

the virgin "he did nothing wrong 🥺" vs the chad "he did everything wrong and he's a petty manbaby about it". we stan

(ofc there is the heavy implication that Dracula literally cannot move on nor become a better person because of Chaos' influence inside him, which is why his soul had to do a hard reboot in the form of Soma to be freed from the cycle of destruction he stuck himself in. But there is certainly a discussion to be had about how much this affects Dracula's agency and culpability)

[chaifootsteps]

Hey Chai,

This is a long one, so I’m gonna start out by first thanking you for this blog you’ve created as a safe place to share your thoughts and those of others, including when they disagree with you! You are both admirably unabashed and pleasantly down to earth in how you carry yourself on here! Now to get into the meat of it, I felt like sending in my thoughts on the idea of “wasted potential” as applied specifically to Lucifer from Haz_bin Ho_tel, and to ask you for your thoughts on that concept and Lucifer as a specific example (if you wanted to share them, of course)! I want to clarify that I’ve never personally liked referring to characters, story beats, or theme explorations in a piece of fictional media as “wasted potential” because some part of me feels that I don’t get to make that judgement call when I wasn’t the one writing. This isn’t me claiming that I am better or more mature than people who discuss wasted potential within media analysis - I am well aware that I am entitled to dislike the direction a character or story is heading as much as any human - this is just me saying that I personally never try and act like I could speak on knowing what was better for someone else’s creative vision, so I just tend to keep my thoughts to myself. Until I witnessed what Vi_v did to Lucifer. Memes are funniest when quoted ironically, but it was after episode six that I sincerely said out loud to myself “look how they massacred my boy!”

In the days of the pilot and promotional character art, Lucifer was my favorite character. Viewers barely knew anything about him, but the little we did know was OVERFLOWING WITH POTENTIAL. He was my favorite character design in the entire show, and a near hyperfixation in my mind. The limited information and visuals we were given were those of a well dressed, unwaveringly confident, and - seemingly - unapologetically aware player in a story about the slaughter of sinners and the near-lost cause of Charlie’s efforts towards their redemption. He was the King of Hell, husband to the first woman in existence, instigator of human sin, and REBEL AGAINST GOD. Even juicier, assuming we never got to see him as his own character, there was at least the mystique of the domino affect he had on the characters of the show including Charlie, Alastor, and even Vaggie as Charlie’s girlfriend and a fallen angel, herself. The second-hand accounts we heard of him through Charlie - specifically “I think dad was right about me-“ and “- you don’t take shit from other demons!” - depicted a character who had little sympathy for Charlie’s goal or the sinners while still showing his care for her in his own, twisted way. All of this oozed with POTENTIAL for the enormity of this character and his weight on the story as the embodiment of pride and as the King of Hell.

And we, the audience of the final product, got NONE OF THAT. The final character - the canon depiction thrown at our faces following over four years of anticipation - was a self-pitying, judgmental, immature, wishy-washy, absentee father who remained WILLFULLY unaware of the life and ambitions of the singular child he claimed he wanted a better relationship with and took ZERO accountability in running the very people and kingdom he had been stuck with for 10,000 years! He didn’t even know his daughter, the princess of Hell and his most treasured family, had a girlfriend of multiple years. In a lot of ways, he was a well-dressed man-child constantly shouting some version of “I DON’T WANNA!”. 

And GOD did that hurt to see. How it hurt to see his wasted potential. 

There were so many things he could have been starting in late 2019, so many things that seemed perfect for both a character and story beat as would have explored the greater themes of the show itself. Unfortunately, he wasn’t any of them on that particular day in late January of 2024. The CLOSEST he ever gets to embodying that potential was when he was protecting his daughter while beating the holy light out of Adam in the finale, but even his statement of “You’re in my house, bitch!” doesn’t depict the imposing and unmeasurably egotistical being of pride he seemed to be in 2019, it just sounds like something any person would say in a cocky manner punching down on someone who broke into their house. For me, it took the wind out of my sails to see how far my once adored character had fallen from the character he COULD have been. How he had been denied all the potential that he once had. Potential that, through writing choices by the creative team, was decidedly "wasted".

So those are my feelings as applies to both the concept of “wasted potential” in writing and to the character of Lucifer in Haz_bin Ho_tel. I apologize again for how long this whole rant has been, but if you have any of your own thoughts or want to comment on my whole spiel around how we describe wasted potential as viewers and Lucifer as a possible example, I would be excited to hear them!

Thank you again for this space you have created and keep fighting the good fight, even if that’s just for the freedom to our own opinions on popular media!

No apologies, Anon, and thank you for the kind words! Everyone should feel like they have a safe, fun place to bitch about how much they dislike popular media...whether HH runs for one more season or 10, I'll do my best to keep this little pocket available!

Thank you for your heartfelt Lucifer thoughts. I know back in the day, when I still loved and had high hopes for this show and actually hoped Viv could get Weird Al to voice Lucifer, this was the thing that made me really fall in love with him. If I'd known back then that he'd turn into a crude, idiotic frat boy, I wouldn't have bothered.

I think the longer these shows run, the more it gets to be that people are mourning their favorite characters and the potential they could have had. It's pretty painful to love a character so deeply, to be so excited to see what they become, and to be rewarded with the worst possible version of them you could imagine. Happened with Stolas for me, with Lucifer for you...it's a story you hear time and time again.

It sucks.

[theanonymousninja247]

Pretty Random Turtle Thunks: Baby Clothes

Scenario: You’ve just handed said Rise Aged Up Turtle a tiny baby outfit. Whether your child, a niece, nephew, sibling or just some infant you saved from the streets, just know there is now an itty bitty baby human within your general vicinity you are now taking care of

*Rating: Milk🥛(aka for anybody)*

Raph🧸❤️: Tears. Just. So. Many. Tears. Makes Niagara Falls look like a trickle. This man is literally loosing it, hand over mouth can’t stop staring at the ridiculously tiny piece of fabric in his hand. It’s barely the size of his fingers.

…Sweet Pizza Supreme in the Sky…

ItS BaReLy ThE sIzE oF hIs FinGeRs.

You find him hunkered down in his room immediately after the news, surrounded by the remains of over a dozen, half started knitting projects, tears still on his face as he tries to fathom the very idea that something can be that small.

He’s been trying to knit the perfect baby blanket, but his anxieties start to take over every time he starts over. He worries the material is gonna itch the baby’s skin. Is the baby gonna suffocate if the stitches are too tight? Will the baby drown in fabric if he makes it too big? Will the baby get too cold if it isn’t big enough? etc etc etc…

You’re gonna have to talk him down a little bit because he’s gonna work himself into a frenzy getting ready for the baby.

Donnie🤔🟪: Just looks at said article of clothing. Looks back up at you, face slightly pinching in confusion, then back at the outfit. Cue a slow curious thumbing of the fabric. Slow blink. Body suddenly freezes. Eyes comically begin to grow wide. (Give him a second, give him a second; he’s computing) Before his head suddenly snaps back up to stare at you and then almost frantically back down at the garment as the realization hits. There’s no outwardly facial reaction, but the tell tale sign is that his hand fumbles for his goggles as suddenly he’s going full inspection mode.

You are more or less not surprised when the article is met with immediate disdain.

Cue Donnie spending hours researching the best materials for baby clothes. They’re going to be 100% organic and made of the softest and most sterile fabrics he can find. And if he can’t find any brands that suit his high class fancy, well he’ll just design a machine to do the job himself. He’s not the founder of Genius Tech for nothing.

This small infant will be associated with HIM of all people and a such deserves nothing but the highest quality. The best of the best for the best. Obviously.

Your child will be the most finely dressed child of the century after being in the hands of Donnie for more than 5 seconds. There will be a fashion show. Period. Being a baby never looked this good. 

Leo✨💠: Realization that slowly unfurls like a blossom in the morning sun. This turtles face is so bright with excitement when it finally clicks that he literally becomes the sun for like solid minute it’s just that big. However that smile immediately folds into that signature cat smirk that warns of nothing but impending deviousness.

Your child is in trouble, for it now lies in the hands of an evil mastermind, hell bent on causing tomfoolery that will last through out the generations to follow.

He’s always wanted to leave a legacy, and he will seize this moment and milk for all its worth. 

All the dad jokes. All of the horrible groan-inducing, eye-rolling, awful puns. All the stupid slapstick, low brow kind of humor are now practically plastered to your child’s clothing. He thinks he’s the funniest person alive and will do everything his power to infect said child with the same vein of humor.

Also, be warned of leaving your child alone with this man, because if left to his devices for too long, you will receive an unfathomable amount of memes and edited baby photos of your child and Leo in hilarious re-enactments scenes.  

Mikey🎨🧡: Pretty sure a missile just went off Because the squeal of excitement that erupted from this turtle was the only warning you got, before you were all but tackled in a hug like a rugby player, pretty much burst not only the sound barrier but your ear drums as well.

There! Is! So! Much! Excitement!

It. Can. Not. Be. CoNtAiNeD!!!!

It’s literally oozing out of him and man practically reverts into a child himself as the foundation of curiosity is exploded, and you are all but drowned in a relentlessly loving sea of questions. He wants to know EVERYTHING. All the time! Because he just - he just -he just can’t wait! All this time to prepare for another little bundle of joy!  It jumpstarts his creative spark in a way you have NEVER seen before. He now spends his time religiously spent in three locations: locked in close and glued to your hip, a culinary cabaret in which you are very much the honored guest who just has to taste test his newest recipe (your taste buds have never been this happy) or in his art studio working on just one more thing for the baby.

He’s designed his own baby clothes, painted more than enough scenes for multiple nurseries to be completely filled, and even written a couple of his own baby adventure comic books that he is just dying to read the awaited little one.

He’s beyond ecstatic at the thought that there’s now something tinier than him that he can help take care of and love. 

Bottom line: Both you and your baby are about to be welcomed into the arms of the most excited and loving family you will ever have the privilege of knowing. Just…good luck trying to get their arms off of you. Because they will never and I mean EVER let either one of you go. That is both their threat and their promise!

Shout out to the besties who proofread @anobodyinabog and @saspas-corner 🧡

As well as the ever incredible @avery73 (hope it’s ok to tag you in this, but I just realized that I lowkey based my turtle thunks after reading yours, and I wanted to give you the credit. Thought you might enjoy?)

[no-where-new-hero]

Chapter Three: A Hop Out of Kin

"He makes a better-looking corpse than I thought he would, what with being so wasted and all. He was always a pretty man, though too thin."

I'm so sorry, this is the FUNNIEST possible thing Ellen Greene could say to an 11 year old girl who just lost her father. Did she have an unrequited crush on her eccentric employer? Or is this just a way that Maud can tell us that Emily has staggeringly good genes, despite all the protestations that she's not pretty?

Emily, with an eloquent glance at Ellen's hands, went and got a dish-towel. "Your hands are fat and pudgy," she said. "The bones don't show at all."

Emily does the dishes at last!

"The fact is, Emily Starr, you're queer, and folks don't care for queer children. You talk queer--and you act queer--and at times you look queer."

It probably doesn't say much that Ellen Greene is the one to call Emily queer but hey! Here's the word!

"Why didn't you scrub the floor when Father was alive?" asked Emily. "He liked things to be clean. You hardly ever scrubbed it then. Why do you do it now?"

Emily begins to learn about the evils of doing things for the sake of societal appearances and not for the sake of personal wishes. And now the charms of Eden (the flowering apple tree, the daffodils, the Wind Woman) can't touch her. The fall has begun.

The introduction to all the Murrays is fantastically written--not only do we get searing portraits of them, but we also get a great portrait of Emily through her little rebellions. The fanciful and somewhat soppy child from the first two chapters is brimming over with spunk now, and here's where things start getting very interesting because we also get to hear thoughts from a new character: Aunt Elizabeth: "Though Elizabeth Murray would never have admitted it, she did not want to be snubbed as Wallace and Ruth had been." Though Aunt Ruth is clearly marked as a villainess and Aunt Laura and Cousin Jimmy jump out as sympathetic, Elizabeth remains ambiguous and presents a sliver of vulnerability that is the hallmark of all provocative characters. (I intend to pay a lot more attention to Aunt Elizabeth this go around.)

I remember very little of the 90s show, but I always hated this scene in it, when it shows Emily performing a ritual for her father or some shit when the Murrays arrive. Like?? What the heck is that supposed to be?? It loses Emily's vulnerability and subversiveness and makes her out to be weird without subtlety or pathos. Also Cousin Jimmy was very very poorly handled in that. It always amazed me how much the producers and writers of that fucked up the series because the book has such cinematic clarity from scene to scene, it shouldn't have been that hard. Anyway. Tangent.

[sunshinexlollipops]

I think the funniest part about this third season is that Colin Bridgerton was perfectly fine existing soundly as an oblivious idiot...until he was ignored by Penelope Featherington.

even before becoming her teacher revealed his own feelings to himself, Colin returned to London with Penelope already under his skin. while this boy should've been fully occupied with learning, traveling, and fucking his way through 17 cities in Europe, he found himself instead haunted with the fact Penelope refused to write him. given he has said no one else tends to read or reply to his letters, I'm sure that Penelope's audience and acknowledgement was crucial to Colin while he was away. she was the only one who entertained his flourished language and prose, or his self-appointed journey of the world outside of the ton. but while she is important, Penelope's turnout for him was reliable like clockwork, and Colin was a bit spoiled in his expectation that Penelope, faithfully, would always show up for him. and more so, that Penelope would always love to celebrate him and his escapades, remaining in the background while he left and explored who he was. however, for the first time since they were kids, Colin turned heel with the intent to entertain Penelope about himself and the changes he made, only to find she had stopped following along behind him and listening at some point. and frankly, I think this change freaked him out.

Colin had gotten so used to Penelope always being there and following desperately after him, that being unable to have Penelope simply lift her quill for him left Colin in some level of crisis. it shook his ego and made him wonder what made her finally lose her focus on him. maybe it's why Colin set out become more charming, and also thinking of it as a social skill to hone, rather than it be another expression of desire. maybe it's why Colin wrote of feeling "great distance" during his sexual encounter, even though the only one providing him with distance was...Penelope.

it's clear that Colin was so used to Penelope clinging to walls or him, he wasn't prepared for what he was to feel when she decided to avoid both. and for once he had to find a way to insert himself into Penelope's life, instead of it being the other way around. because even if the personality change he made wasn't a ploy for attention, that was certainly all Colin wanted from Penelope all along.

[ye4gerism]

Bachelorette season is starting up again! Y/N L/N is the new stunning face of the Bachelorette and so far the viewers feel that she’s favorable.

Of course, the honeymoon phase of the show will decrease episode by episode and someone is bound to crack really soon.

INTO THE LIVES OF THE BOYS: exclusive interviews with the eight remaining contestants

“What are you looking for in a partner?”

COLT GRICE: i’m honestly looking for someone who is willing to go through the ups and downs of life with me. i know that sounds basic but trust me, i know what it’s like to watch a marriage fall apart because one person wasn’t committed enough.

EREN YEAGER: you know, when i think of a partner, i think of someone i can jump out of a plane with. my partner and i should be able to feel the “breeze” of marriage and overcome everything together

“Do you have any past relationships?”

OYANKOPON: who hasn’t? i hope this isn’t some sort of trick question. there was a person i thought i’d marry but an unforeseen event helped me understand that they weren’t for me.

JEAN KIRSTEIN: oh yeah…too many. i was kind of a player in high school and i screwed around a lot in college but as i’ve gotten older, i realized that i want a family and a future.

“Eren you and Zeke look oddly alike. Why is that?”

EREN YEAGER: really? that blonde mop? i don’t really see it.

“What is your guilty pleasure?”

ARMIN ARLERT: i’m sort of into conspiracy theories. sometimes i feel bad because as bizarre as some are, they’re kind of believable.

PORCO GALLIARD: i won’t lie; i love ordering in. i eat healthy and everything yes but, boy, don’t i love sitting on my couch on a friday night and eating my favorite that just got delivered to me.

“How do you like to spend your free time?

CONNIE SPRINGER: i personally love spending time with my two younger siblings. i love living life through them.

REINER BRAUN: my niece is the funniest person i know. since the moment she was born, she’s brought a smile to my face. i love spending my free time with her!

A LITTLE BIRDIE TOLD ME…: dirt on the cast

“Rumor has it one of the contestants has a wife.”

We wouldn’t be surprised. 10 handsome men enter the show and none of them are married? That’s a little suspicious don’t you think? Colt and Reiner are definitely hubby material.

“Eren is passed around like a football 😞”

With those green eyes, the ladies are probably all over him…and he’s probably all over them too. You didn’t hear it from us though.”

“Jean and Eren don‘t get along”

An insider told us the two were throwing looks at each other. It probably has something to do with Eren stealing Jean’s girlfriend in highschool.

“I heard that jean and eren went to high school tg and that eren stole jean’s long term gf”

What did we say?

“Zeke has a crush on Y/N”

we have a crush on y/n too!

“Zeke has daddy kink”

Oh!😀

“I heard y/n f*cked zeke to get on the show”

Are we talking about the right Zeke?

“yn is just gonna be playing all the guys, she's there for vibes”

We love a good feminist! Why be on a show for marriage when you can be a show to play men? We love it.

That’s all for now! Tune in next week for more juicy details!

i didn’t hit all questions but i will use them next week’s post! some of these answers made me laugh lmao😭 imagine zeke falling for you (UNLESS👁️). i’ll definitely incorporate some of these rumors into the story :). i also forgot to introduce hitch and pieck, so i’ll try and integrate them into the next few chapters!

if you would like to vote again, press here. you don’t have to answer the written answer questions if you have already! just let me know that you’ve already answered! i’ll probably close the poll tmrw so i can finish up the chapter :)

tysm again for reading the bachelorette!

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