#he needs a coping mechanism

[obb-z-scene]

This school will kill me I think I can feel my brain turn into egg yolk as I stare at my probably cheap chromebook and decide to just write a few clearly low effort sentences before submitting

[erebus0dora]

something something a chat i am in discussing the loneliness of Armand who needs someone to define him and see him, so

"...it was ghastly and awful and loathsome, and beautiful all at the same time."

and yeah i kinda just want to give ppl hugs with anything i do and talk to them in hushed tones, so there you go

[somewhereincairparavel]

JASON GRACE PLAYS LACROSSE AND TENNIS. I CAN'T AND WON'T BE NORMAL ABOUT THIS-

[abyssal-ilk]

i don't know the exact timeline for when ghilan'nain physically changed into what we see her as in datv, but im really attached to the idea that she didn't look like that before the veil was made. like she looked just like we saw her in solas' memory, untainted and with no extra limbs. her new form is the direct consequence of her fusing her body with anduril's blighted corpse after anduril's archdemon was slain and she died in the fade. she does not need to mourn anduril. anduril has become part of her greater whole. she would not be parted from her, even in death.

[hollowistheworld]

There are already so many delicious meta posts on everyone's specific thoughts on what's going on in Illario's head, but I am jumping in myself because he and Lucanis are making me CRAZY

I think that soooo much of his jealousy is that he and Lucanis get treated as a binary. Damn near every time Lucanis talks about something he is or isn't good at, he brings up how Illario is the opposite. It isn't just that they're constantly being compared (already something that's going to be super damaging to both of them and their relationship) but there's such a strong sense that they're not allowed to overlap.

Like, Lucanis is better at physical combat? Okay, so Illario is bad at it. It doesn't matter that he's still very good, that's he's good enough to still be a living, working Crow at the ripe old age of 30+, as a member of the First Talon's family no less. It doesn't matter that he's good enough to drop down from the ceiling (when and how did you get up there???) and kill Zara before anyone can register he's there. It doesn't matter that he's still a significant boss, even once you factor out the Venatori. He's worse than Lucanis, so Lucanis is the 'good' assassin and Illario is the 'bad' one.

In the reverse, Lucanis's self-esteem about his social skills is in the DIRT. He is CONSTANTLY bringing up how Illario is the people person. Even when, in the same breath, he says Illario only ever had relationships with people he didn't like and they never lasted, he's still saying Illario is better at it. And because Illario is better with people, he's 'good' at it, and Lucanis is 'bad' at it.

In any discussion with or about Lucanis and Illario there is, apparently, zero overlap in their skill sets. Despite the fact that that's very obviously not true. But they've been set against each other so thoroughly that they don't even realize it. Because presumably Caterina started training them and they had a knack for some skills more than others and rather than encouraging them to teach other or partner up to boost each other's strengths, she was most likely going "Look, Illario, your cousin did that move so much better than you, be more like that," and "Lucanis, Illario perfected this ages ago, it is not that hard to convince someone you're harmless" and all they got was that one of them was the assassin and one of them was the conman and never the two shall meet.

And Caterina, of course, heavily favors Lucanis. And I imagine there's a million reasons why - starting with the fact that it sounds like his mother was the last favorite. (And how can Illario compete with that? He'll never be the son of the favorite.) But I think a big reason is Lucanis's skill set. Maybe he's the most like her. Maybe she thinks if he's good in combat, he won't die like all the others did. Has she just written Illario off as a lost cause, certain to get himself killed? Not consciously, I'm sure, but subconsciously? Easy to imagine. Easy for Illario to feel that way, whether it's true or not.

And then!! He's being babysat! This idea that Lucanis is the one who can fight (and therefore Illario cannot) has taken hold so deeply that Lucanis feels like he has to look out for Illario, has to protect him, and of course that's bundled up in the 'we're all we have left' but when you're suffocating under the weight of your cousin being a mother hen that feels much less sympathetic. And when you're a 30+ assassin it's gonna feel pretty aggravating if everyone acts like you need your cousin to help you tie your shoes in the morning.

And I don't think either of them realize this. Introspection is not a Crow skill. All Illario knows is he can't be a good assassin while Lucanis is alive, because only one of them can be a good assassin. And that built and built and I think the opportunity to have Lucanis killed crossed his path, and he - Well, despite what Caterina might think, he is a very good Crow. So he took the opportunity. And then he couldn't go back.

And what does he have, under this binary? At least the good fighter, the good assassin, can have a talent for other athletic work, a passion for knives. At least the favorite can find another hobby without feeling grandmother breathing down his neck, asking why he's learning a new skill when he hasn't even mastered the important one. What's under a conman, a grifter, a politician? Sure, he can make people like him, but he can he ever connect with them enough to like them back? Does he know who he is? Would he know where to begin to try and find out?

I'd argue that - whether he knows it or not - is the biggest reason he tried to have Lucanis killed. He doesn't know who he is other than Caterina's least favorite grandson, Lucanis's cousin. He doesn't know how to find out.

[hmsdoodlin]

Do y’all remember that post that talked about Be Born being a solo song and not a duet?

I believe the original theory was that it’s Minds real voice shining through the deep synthetic one, but a good friend gave me another theory and it keeps shooting me in the face every time I listen to this song.

What if it’s not Minds ‘true’ voice, but an imitation of Hearts? He’s replicating Hearts voice and singing as him to prove that he can handle doing Hearts ‘job’ for him as well as to mock him.

“I can do the same things you do but better.” Type of thing. He’s quite literally taking over Hearts responsibilities, including his voice.

And then she threw another idea at me……. What if he does it because he misses Hearts voice in apathy and subconsciously copes by singing with it. I KNOW IT SOUNDS CRAZY BUT- There’s so much potential….. if you’re enteracting every waking day with someone you’re bound to remember their habits and speech patterns. He tries to relish in the silence but after a while he can’t help but imagine Heart joking with him or complaining about something stupid. Instead of the voice being inside his head….. it comes out of the voice modulator unintentionally. What if he has full on conversations with himself with Hearts voice after a while. What if it distorts his perception of reality and that even in exile he can’t escape him. What if it furthers his hatred of Heart, what if it drives him farther away from Soul because he can’t let himself be perceived as ‘flawed’. Chat what if he’s suffering in his safe space, his mind. GUYS DO YOU SEE THE VISION.

(Gonna write a one shot like this one day trust)

What if you tried to kill me and my grief manifested into an unhealthy coping mechanism that my logical mind was not programmed to handle and it tormented me until you returned home.

[rainbow-arrow]

why the fuck are you reacting like this is some big reveal

like the bitch you gave him the miraculous

[saturnniidae]

I think Astrid Hofferson has a bad case of the 'my childhood was wasted, I grew up too fast for something ultimately proven pointless.' Syndrome and that she deserves to get to do silly things she missed out on and take up new hobbies, even if she's not particularly good at them–it's purely for the experience yknow, and learn to finally breathe no longer needing to be on constant high alert and get to be truly happy

[s0fter-sin]

soap and ghost, after months of flirting, of having each other’s backs and saving each other’s lives, of knowing the other better than they know themselves, finally getting together

ghost letting himself free fall onto the bed, soap following, always following his lead. they barely pull apart enough to get their shirts over their heads, hands running over muscles and scars and holding close

soap kisses every new scar that’s revealed to him, from the thick keloid divot over his ribs from some kind of puncture to the innumerable slashes and stitch wounds holding his torso together until he’s mouthing over his collarbones; the tips of his fingers lightly caressing the edges of his mask

ghost who’s been so quiet, so overwhelmed by soap’s touch that all he can do is sink into him, panting gasping breaths, finally pushes out, “don’t ask me. please…”

soap freezes, mouth hovering over his skin. “ghost…?”

ghost’s face is tilted away, eyes held so tightly shut they tremor while the rest of his body stays lax beneath his. desperate. resigned. “please don’t ask me, johnny.”

soap lets his hand fall from the mask, coming to run soothing circles over his clothed hip. “why?”

“because i’ll say yes,” he confesses and it’s great and terrible; a warning and a relinquishment laid at soap’s feet. “i’ll always say yes to you.”

for a long moment, there’s nothing but their shared breaths, nothing but their hearts beating for the other. until soap finally leans down to press a kiss to the corner of his hidden mouth; his lips meeting faint raised scar tissue he might never see

“i’ll never ask.”

ghost’s eyes drift open and they catch on soap’s; on a sea of promise and fierce protection

“i swear… i’ll never ask, ghost.”

[bunnirabbits]

not sure if i want nanami to be a super experienced older man who will take the reigns in bed straight away, or a poor, overworked soul who’s never gotten the chance to lose his virginity so i can hold his hand and stare lovingly into his eyes as he cums inside a woman for the first time.

[kittykatninja321]

When people say “Jason wouldn’t smoke because he died of smoke inhalation” I respectfully have to disagree, because if there’s one thing Jason is going to do he’s going to take aspects of his trauma and use them for himself and push on them like a bruise (he takes the name red hood, he uses explosives and guns, the crowbars were lame but they weren’t out of character), so I don’t think that would stop him from smoking. The way I see it I think Jason would be one of those people who occasionally smokes a cigarette when things are Particularly Bad, even though they swear they stopped smoking, like a maladaptive coping mechanism basically

[slavhew]

Posting my thoughts here too.

PPS; there is something about BGD still looking the same while jake has so clearly changed in appearance. I don't have anything clever to add, except that that stupid fingerless-gloved hand is so quintessentially Dirk, it looks like an aesthetic choice that belongs to a man much younger than Jake. Because it does. Because Dirk stopped, while Jake had to keep going.

[fantastic-nonsense]

"Maybe I needed it once. But I trained here, with The Flying Graysons, before I trained with you, Bruce. You know what the key is to a good trapeze act? Letting go...trusting that there's someone on the other side to catch you. You taught me a lot. But I learned from them to leap into the light. We're not the same, don't you see, Bruce? I had you." -Detective Comics #1074

hang on a minute y'all, I need to go scream into the abyss

[mephoj]

late night chat

[matuk-art]

Dolores is the representation of Five's soul. She is the symbol of the human aspects that he values ​​most about himself, his ability to love, his ability to care and suffer, but above all his loyalty. It's his way of reminding himself that he's not just an animal and/or, later, a weapon... and there's just something so twisted and abrupt about the way they decided to kill that fragile strategy of preserving that kind part of himself. because the affair only made him literally and symbolically betray his soul

[spidergrotto]

peter on his 21st birthday sitting alone in his shitty apartment wearing a ripped up spiderman suit having what should be his first real drink with ben or his first taste of one of tony’s absurdly expensive whiskeys, instead he’s surrounded by empty cans of cheap beer staring down at the empty contact list on his phone.