#he looks like he had a nice dream
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Full look at Kazutora's new game art!!!
#he looks like he had a nice dream#tokyo revengers#tokrev#tokyo rev#kazutora hanemiya#hanemiya kazutora
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Ah yes, very mature indeed
I love these two getting far enough into their truce to annoy each other playfully, Dream is great at it immediately but it's good to see Nightmare starting to take part too
And don't worry, Dream did get revenge
#UTDR#UTMV#My Art#Dream Sans#Nightmare Sans#This is 100% self indulgent just for me art#But you guys can look at it too if you want#No background because I'm ~lazy~ today lol#Nightmare has a slow start on the brotherly teasing situation but he gets into it pretty easily#Usually using his tentacles to be a pest until Dream starts chasing him or (non-lethally) fighting him#I dunno I just think it's nice when they annoy each other for fun#And get to act like kids again for a little bit instead of being Important Guardians TM#Also Blue and Ink got him that sweater#Ink asked Error to make one for him and Blue insisted it had to be purple because he knows it's Dream's favourite colour#Nightmare doesn't feel temperature very much because the goop kinda insulates him but he did zip up his hoodie for appearances
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'why does show joffrey look like that he's supposed to be handsome' no sorry there's so many ugly/not conventionally attractive characteracters being prettywashed I think the rare cases of deyassification are based as hell. I like his weird little face ❤
#.txt#someone said his show version makes people less charitable to sansa and like. genuinely whats so different except that he looks a bit weird#like ok it does take him a bit longer to be nice to her again post trident but like she wasnt deterred when he tried to kill her sister so#people would blame sansa for trusting him even if he had mind control powers let's be honest#'I would have simply been unaffected due to my superior gigabrain. skill issue'#I do think people would be slightly more understanding if he looked like his book ver but that's a them problem#also like she's gonna be conditioned to think he's attractive no matter what bc he's the prince lol#its like when dream face revealed and all his stans were like omg he's so hotttttt 😍 I dont mean he looks like dream im just saying#people can gaslight themselves into finding any random guy attractive. especially children#and it's not like he's hideous or anything come on#imagine if sansa was like hmmm the rich young prince im supposed to marry isnt looksmaxxed enough. pass
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okaayyyy first on the list of designnsssss,,, rayman !! yeah incredible , ik ik just. stay with me here
a brief rundown of it is taking that whole "guardian of this world" concept, and being an embodiment of dreams, bravery and light.. then making it into a silly forest spirit,,
some inspos are sky children of the light, over the garden wall, adventure time, and zelda . again , weird mix , i knowwww . but!!!
i would need an entire doc to list all the things i've written on him thus far but i'd love asks/questions (and perhaps suggestions!)
im gonna be real here... most of the changes have to be the fact he has a cape and, messy hair, with flowers/leaves caught in it (ever heard of a brush???)
#rayman#rayman legends#rayman origins#rayman fanart#my wips#traditional art#okay bits of small trivia below!#he has little butterflies that follow him around sometimes; similar to that one scene in steven universe#represent his thoughts and ambitions in a way#halo is optional too i just thought. hey! that ring on his sweater has some sort of mystical significance#so i thought it'd be nice if there was. of course. a small ring of light donned over his head#weird looking angel if you ask me.... ahahaha#he can also shapeshift as he's made of the stuff of dreams; can be a bird. manta ray. any sort of animal to his heart's desire#although he'd look a biiitt different than the rest; sorta stand out. be it from a faint glow. lums or markings#can't believe this is sthe same guy that sang sexbomb and had no arms no legs huge features#then again i consider this like a separate universe/canon from the acc games it's. how do i put this#more of if it went in the direction of fantastical or fantasy elements
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smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.
#jrwi show#jrwi fanart#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#made this within a short span of wahtever bc i gotta go up to the mountains for my stupid gay job tonight n im trying#nnot to frrRREAAAK THE FUCK OUUTTTTTTi dont wanna work but. get that bread we fuckin shall i guess#ONWARDS TO THE FISH TORMENT!! sometimes flowers feel pain when you trim them before their blossoming. atleast i imagine so#i used to draw gillion with loooong hair tied into a big ol braid. and then it was confirmed that he had short hair when he was little.#AT FIRST I WAS SAD. but then i realized the duality of. when they were little. gill had short hair. edyn had long hair.#AND NOW THEYRE OLDER. and gillion has long hair. and edyn has short hair#both mirroring eachother. looking up to eachother. subconsciously or not. they most certainly care. and most certainly miss eachother.#GILLION ALWAYS LOVED HOW LONG HAIR LOOKs. atleast i imagine so. he hasnt cut it since he left the undersea. sure he wanted to go back home#but even at the very start. he knew he was free in some way now. free to grow out his hair. an adventure would await him before he returns.#he knew it would be a while. so he cant let this go. he cant let this sought-after hair-length get cut away from him again#not yet. not yet. i like to think he loved music too. I SAW SOMETHING INTERESTING A BIT AGO#i see alot of ppl commenting on my baby gill comics like;'i wouldFIGHT this teacher i wanna KILL EM i want them DESTROYED#all very good and nice sentiments! i LOVE the energy here! and it would be nice. to have that catharsis#but the story of young tidestrider is not a story of catharsis. it is a story of agony and being so so small and so special and also so dum#and sucking so bad. and just being a kid and doing the things that a little kid does and so many tired tired people reacting badly to it#youre supposed to be the hero that will save us. our world hangs in the balance and you are the one who tips the scales.#YOU are supposed to SAVE US!! you NEED to SAVE US! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SQUIRMING IN YOUR STUPID CHAIR!!#you'd think that young tidestrider ought to prevail. and be tucked someplace all safe and sound.#elders gone missing and rotting in a jail. their cultists nowhere around. but theres no happy endings. not here not now.#this tale is all sorrows n woes. you may dream that justice n peace win the day. but thats not how this story goes#BIG ideas for this lil baby gillion series. if anything i make ever gets disproven im killing myself in a well as to poison a water supply
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here together
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#lobotomy corporation spoilers#abram lobcorp#i didnt know that the song that plays during day 48 ending is called 'here together'.#couldnt hear it well because i typically have my sound low (sensetive to louder sounds) and also the dialog fucked me up#so when i pressed on it to hear it. to actually listen to it. then to see the name and remember what it Looked like#i got teary eyed. sorry.#it happened quite. afew times when finishing this shitty thing#i was thinking of how camren's not quite corpse looked as if it were reaching out to him inside the container#how it looked as if she had wings. abrams words. the line from one story that was--#something like 'we were hoping it was just one big prank and she would hop out fro. around the corner with a smile on her face'#how do you move forward when all you think you cause is pain? when everything else youve done only brought to bring people you love to thei#downfall and demise inside agony and fear as they lay dying. none of that was merciful. none of that was just. they were told to carry on#her dream and he views as if all he had done was to become cruel and wasnt fit and never even began to finish what she started.#it was so striking to me. the language he used. sleeping. alseep. waken. when all the others never sugarcoated it#in lobcorp they always said it straight. 'suicide' 'killed' 'dead'. but he used something far more.. peaceful? kind in wording in a way.#softer. describing death as if it were a merciful thing. an end that suits them and not something to be afraid of. to just... sink. to slee#to be with carmen again. to put everything to an end#the place they built with their hands. to have it just... stop. not in a way of repeating and staying in the moment#but of a permanent end. to 'sleep'. to die. to just.... stop. forever. to see no more. to do no more#to not be able to do Anything for when ever he had done Something it just cause agony. cruel hands partaking in acts he so deeply#regrets. everything is just regret. it sounds nice. to move on. to just move forward. but how can you move forward when all you think you#bring to those you cherished and couldnt leave behind is pain?#ill likely move this somewhere else as well. ive been meaning to talk about abram#the rest as well actually. mostly just the few final days w abel adam and abram since i am STUCK ON DAY 49#oh dear i uh typed a lot in the tags. oops
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NICO: WE SHARED THE LIFT THIS MORNING! I WAS GOING TO THE POOL TRAMPOLINE WITH MY TWO DAUGHTERS AND HE WAS GOING TO THE RACETRACK. PINKHAM: VERY DIFFERENT LIVES YOU'RE CURRENTLY LEADING.
#that line from nico is like /the/ modern brocedes thesis to me#like this is their happy ending!!! it is not the one they dreamed of all those years ago in greece but is a happy ending.#it's not multiple shared championships or racing against each other for years or anything their 13 year-old-selves would've dreamed up but#it is them achieving their dreams. lewis has 7 wdcs and is aiming for an 8th. nico has a loving wife and 2 daughters he'd die for. they are#both doing the things they love. would it have been nice if those dreams included each other? yeah. would it have been nice that when ppl#mention their names it would be to talk about what great friends they are instead of how they tore each other apart? absolutely! but they#were doomed from the start. so maybe it doesn't matter that they didn't get their traditional 'happy ending'. at least they had a happy#start and a semi-happy middle. at least they have the lift to see each other. at least nico's daughters get to keep lewis in their lives in#a way nico will never get to again. they will never share a bowl of frosties again but at least their roots are so thoroughly tangled#together that they can never look back without haunting each other. at least they still have that.#anyway for all the non-americans who reblog or like this. the poem is 'the road not taken' by robert frost. very famous in america#every middle/high schooler has to analyze/read this poem at some point. i don't know how popular he is outside of america so i thought id#leave a note ig.#anyway. i am going crazy and i need to lie down. that 2nd line was sooo hard to find a photo for. wth does 'hence' even mean???#brocedes edit#brocedes#f1 web weaving#f1#nico rosberg#lewis hamilton#f1 edit#nr6#lh44#web weaving
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kazui had tits in my dream...he normally has tits but im talking big DD milk filled tats. he was wearing a nice green wedding dress as well..... his hair was in a long low ponytail n had a middle part.... later on he was normal again but still had his middle part. he seemed sad but i told him he looked nice n he cheered up.... itd be nice if he could wear a dress in canon. okay im offline again
#kazuiloveposting#hinako wore a suit for a lil bit it looked nice. but im gay so im slightly less interested#i dont get kaz dreams as often as i used to even tho i think about him 24/7#. i dont actually know if he had milk in those thangs i just wanted to paint an accurate image in ur head. ill check next time#back to my self inflicted isolation. i am like jesus in the desert rn
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HELLO ONE PIECE WATCHER are u obsessed yet
YAYA ITS SO AWESOME GAHH IM SO INVESTED 😭!!!! i actually just caught up in the manga to where i am in the anime!! (on ep 81, and on chapter 134!!!) i've shed lots of tears, laughed, and had my heart touched many times since starting it- i'm totally in love!!! I even cried at the same places i did while watching it when reading manga, ahaha!!!
the characters, the world, the designs, the dreams and ambitions everyone has is SOOOSOSO fun and like, inspiring.. just so good-feeling, i'll even wake up and be like "man, can't wait to watch/read one piece today"
the friendships/bonds created between everyone feels like, so strong- its really beautiful! I love how much fun the fights are, and i really adore the small moments between everyone (like when sanji brings out foods/drinks and everyone kinda just, chills and eats?? the food component of things feels so important too, I love seeing what they eat, idk why haha!!!)
i feel like other shows i love don't have enough time to just see everyone hanging out... it makes me so happy, im really thankful for those moments
also i would take a bullet for any of the strawhats in miliseconds!!! an instant!!!! anything for them!!
#ask#ask reply#text#vonchatty#like i've seen a lot of the character designs from it and always thought they were fun!!! its so nice to get to see them in action!#SO ITS SO EXCITING to see who interacts or like#whats happening with them or what their whole deal is#like there's characters im super intrigued by that havent even shown up yet!!#OH AND THE POWERS ARE SO FUN#also luffy is in my top list of MCs#he's incredible!!!!#also the middle aged men romance potential is sooo awesome#so many hot men in it.. good day to be a man enjoyer#OH AND I CANT WAIT FOR THE LIVE ACTION its gonna be covering everything i know so im SUUUPER SUPER excited for it#it looks super fun and i love how much heart has been put into it like everyone looks like they had so much fun and loved making it!!#i also think in modern times dreams feel impossible to reach so its so wonderful to see a story where people are able to#follow their ambitions to a full extent#long post
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Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.
I don't have external meltdowns.
I could. I don't let it happen.
I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.
So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.
She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.
Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].
It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.
They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.
I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.
I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.
I couldn't understand what made her like this.
But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.
If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.
And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*
And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?
My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.
Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???
And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.
I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*
She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.
I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.
So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.
But I told her hundreds of times.
I probably should have just screamed at her.
#good stay out of our yard' and he didn't seem to know what to say to that#but other than that I don't think anyone in my adult life has ever seen me turn aggressive at all to the point where people 100% like to#play games of testing my patience and my boundaries because they think my tolerance is infinite#but like I have autistic rage tantrums on both sides of my family and they are just happening inside my head#And somehow it took me until now to realize that being that way was actually -expected- of me by my parents and especially my mother#and that by keeping myself outwardly level headed to be considerate I actually took away whatever signals she can understand#to have empathy for how I must be feeling#I mean it's still all on her#but it makes so much sense of why she's fucking *like this*#And why my sister thinks I hate her just because -she- stopped texting -me-#but that fucking guy#Every time I was like#In my adult life I have screamed at someone ONE whole time and it was 1000% deserved#And I threw heavy objects around one whole other time and in my defense I didn't do it in front of the guy he just felt the ground shaking#heard the thuds and came back to the logs blocking his path because that fucker wouldn't stop parking in our yard after being asked#and then TOLD not to about 10 times because he was acting entitled to just park in our yard and was crushing my plants???#seriously I don't know what his deal was but he wouldn't stop telling me how much the ground shaking scared him like it was supposed#to get my pity like I think this guy took one look at the logs I had just tossed down and was suddenly afraid of this “woman” he was#bullying in their own yard and so my ability to feel bad for scaring him had gone straight out the fucking window#I looked at him and said stop parking in our yard instead of your own you are killing my plants#he'd just fucking be like 'well the last people to live here let us D: :)“ and I'd be like ”good for them?“ ”stop“#and he'd just keep doing it#I was having a week of insomnia and was finally having the best dream#the kind of sex dream you have like twice in your life#and this fucker had just gotten some noisy ass little bike with a spoiler on it#and starts it up right under my window at 3am from IN OUR FUCKING YARD#so I had a nice long anger nap and just after he got home from work and was sleeping in his house#I picked up these chunks of deadwood tree from the back#there was like 3-4 logs that used to be a WHOLEASS fucking oak tree Like these logs were not as heavy as they -looked- but they were still#this fucker deleted half the tags I wrote and I am not retyping that fuck you tumblr so fucking hard
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i dpnt want to go hoooome
#i miss drawing but thats it#talkys#at rainforest cafe we had a really nice funny upbeat server#who ended up chatting with us and saying he is 26‚ was FINALLY able to leave home from his home state (not Texas)#to be here (Texas) and he gets to be out of the closet and stuff and its like I feel this could be me too like I Get It. ive been having Fun#being away and chatting with strangers and such#i want to be away...my voice being hurt today had me dreaming about being on T again#bjut also i rly dont know its hard to see a future myself even now that my friend is continuing to help me find it ykwim#like as a kid i never looked forward to any of it. puberty high school driving college career#i thought id get over driving once i Got There but ive been driving and all i can think of is how i wasnt born to drive at all. i hate it#idk how i cld survive away from home if the driving is so difficult. the driving we did today was so stressful. i cld not have maneuvered#it at all. idk. i wanna live away but idk that its feasible and even when it seems more feasible (employment out of town) it doesnt#(the driving. the living. the sustaining self and making sure he eats the maximum 1 meal per day. the Fear. ykwim)
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This one specifically I can never get over just. The atmosphere is so. It's the tenderness of it all. The way Eichi holds him the way Wataru is fully trusting Eichi to not lose him and keep him steady the way Eichi Looks at him the way they are fully in their own little world right now the way they are just having fun before the big show just. The tenderness and strangely intimate warmness of it all gets to me.
#ich bin mit der Gesamtsituation sehr zufrieden#the dialogue to thaz#is alsp so good#“I wish this moment would never end'' YOU AMD ME BOTH EICHI YOU AND ME BOTH#möcht ich zum Augenblicke sagen 'verweile doch! du bist so schön!' dann will man mich in Ketten schlagen#dann möcht ich gern zu Grunde gehn#stay awhile you are so fair Indeed#man I can't Wait to read Faust I can't wait to read this work of this author the love of whos life I'm a really huge fan of and look at the#themes and motives that might parallel this character who I'm a Really Huge Fan Of#(i don't actually want to read faust for just the wataei reasons but it's a nice bonus is it not? :D)#and I mean I like Goethe as an independent man as well I suppose I jusz like Schiller better on a personal level#i really enjoyed Goethes Sturm und Drang poetry#and the man did so much sometimes I wonder if Carl August did any work at all because Goethe did. he really did A Lot#I'm so sad Schiller didn't live to see the full Faust because it would never have been finished had it not been for him#a lot of Goethes works would not have come to be had it not been for him#and vice versa too they really had such an interesting relationship#i hope to have what they have someday#i don't think that'll be possible but a guy can dream#would Wataru be the type to keep Eichis Skull on a velvet cushion on his desk 20 years after he's passed....? out of.... curiosity reason...#wataei
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#kip sabian#aew#all elite wrestling#aewedit#wrestlingedit#wrestling#night gifs#okay but. first of all. living my dream#second im like 95% sure i know which fan this is. i follow kips twitter closely enough to know the regulars he interacts with lmao#third. that jackets is still so interesting to me. cause at this time he had the actual jacket so idk is this for indie appearances only??#intriguing. i absolutely love it tho its so nice and sparkly and looks so soft ough#my beloved#kip in a box#(rp blogs dont reblog; saving and other personal use with tag credits is fine)
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I’ve dreamt of the same person 4 nights this week
#it’s someone I’ve never met but I could describe him in detail#every time I wake up from the dream it feels like a thread wearing thin until it snaps#like we’re connected somehow#I think I might be in love with this dream guy#he wears pinkish red glasses#hes a teacher at a college- but he’s a (very good) physicist#he’s married (✋🏽😔)#his dad died recently and left him his boat. he hasn’t had time to work on it recently but he really loves it#the first dream we met if I recall correctly since it was almost a week ago#I believe I sat in on his class accidentally while I was looking for my actual class and then stayed because I was mesmerized by him talking#then he pointed out that I wasn’t in his class and we talked as he walked me across campus to my class#later that night we ran into each other at a local bar and ended up hanging out all night (bar hopping but it felt like a date almost)#the second dream I saw him in was mostly watching him from afar on the campus#at the end of that one I heard that he got recognized for something he did in physics#and this one was#well. very romantic#like unintentionally#waking up was actually agony today#put me back in coach#this one I was out with coworkers at said bar again#working on some sort of project I think and then dream guy walks in#I think he ended up accosting one of my friends over a spilled drink or something but in a nice way#so I used it as an excuse to -diffuse the situation- to go talk to him#so he ends up sitting with us at our table and chatting and he tells me about his physics thing#and he had such a sweet look in his eyes when I told him I was proud of him and how smart he was#somehow I ended up curled up in his lap snuggled up against him while we were all talking#because for some reason we’re very comfortable with each other#the dream ended with us looking into each others eyes after I said something about his dad and the boat#the (are we about to kiss right now??) look in his eyes jolted me awake since I was like. but he’s married!!! I’m not evil!!#but maybe I am now I guess
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omg😭😭 i just remembered i had a dream last night where i saw two new oscar movies in theatres back to back (they werent any of the current projects hes been working on, just some random shit my brain made up) and he looked so goddamned good that i literally was like slamming my hands on the table (idk how or why there was a table there) and gripping my face and gritting my teeth and biting my lip and blushing like... that was the realest dream ive ever had actually... like yea. yeah. i would. i do. i will. that is how i am with him.
#he really did look so good like god... damn...#i think that dream was because of that ithod pic that got released.....#thank you brain.#a rare treat you have given me.#also my bestie was there and was unimpressed with me losing my mind at how hot oscar is#also very true to real life#speaking of my bestie#we went out and had a really nice day today so im happy that was fun#and i miss being on here properly (chronically) so much.. i swear ill actually finally return soon because i miss and love all of you guys#sending hugs and kisses to all my tumblr buddies i hope you all have been doing well/will start to do well<3#talkin shit
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every time. every time without fail, that i go on a Dethklok/Brendan's music overall binge as I have been lately. I find myself looking at my guitar like. If only i knew how. if only i could do it right. I could hold her and shred and have fun making music.
alas. my skills are too lacking*
*to clarify, I struggle to read music & learn by ear, but my memory also struggles with remembering chords/finger placements/tabs so even tho i can usually hear how a song should go enough to identify notes & whatnot, and can, with enough time spent noodling, eventually recreate it on guitar. That is not conducive nor useful in actually playing and getting better at it and makes it feel like an Impossible Task lmao.
#text post#tbh it probably is actually impossible bc like#i briefly got a few heavily discounted lessons re: voice guitar and piano w/my old hs choir teacher#and we had some heavy talks abt brains & things and#eventually he was like. u can *technically* play music and sing#ur voice is *unique* like tom waits or bob dylan (read: bad or considered bad by many at least lmao) but u CAN sing#and u can play piano & guitar *in theory* but not with enough understanding to get good at it#his concern kept coming back to my maths learning disability bc he thought that was also fucking up how my brain parses certain music things#and tbh? he's probably right lol#but still. i look to her my shining axe with strings in need of tuning but eager#and then i look away bc it's a nice dream. but im probably never going to be able to achieve any level of skill let alone mastery#I've tried so many times and my brain just can't keep all that info in & parse it all consistently. & it sucks but also it's ok#someday I'll pick her up again and attempt to play and let myself suck at it & b content with that#not today lmao but someday
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