#he looked so silly compared to everyone else
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anneliis18 · 1 year ago
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tryin to speedrun some more hermittobers, day 20 - Heights
also I need you to know this is how bdubs looked at first
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angeltism · 2 months ago
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tom.ura is a creature of a man. cro.nan has Problems and also acts weird (/aff) as fuck sometimes. v uhh i think killing people qualifies him for this tenfold. ody.sseus just Is like idk i feel like it's self explanatory despite me not being able to find the words. sun.day has a whole lot of shit going on and has So Many Problems he counts. mr re.ca just uhh look at him? yeah.
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chisungie · 4 months ago
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#this game is so fucking funny i did like maybe 2 uhh dating quest thingies for ryker#JUST finished it. check the task board and guess what it says#“prepare to get married!” SHUT UP LMAOO#itd be a waste if i only did rykers side story thingies and nobody elses!!! im only dating him and martin and i think i finished the story#before even dating anyone like can this game slow down 😭😭#like rf4 took me soooooooo long to get through compared to this one idk#this one was so easy storywise but getting everyone to date the mc... sobs wdym i can only ask them out once per lv...#i know there are strats for it but girl wtf im not gonna tryhard the dating system.....#..... i might if its proving super slow but like. ill play normally for now 💀#44597#also yeah in the other games i didnt marry until waaaaaay after#and bc of that i didnt get to do the post marriage side story stuff so uhhh might have to get back to that at some point 💀#like i do rmr marrying in rf3 but in rf4 i wasnt super confident in who to choose so it took me a while for that too;;#i think i went sofia for rf3 (i thought i went raven until i booted the game up again LMAO)#and uhh.. whats his name hes literally in this game.. DOUG#idk the other guys were. idk it just wasnt for me but the other guys were nice too💀#looking back i dont think id like marry any of the rf4 bachelorettes... maybe margaret? maybe dolce..?#i didnt know amber was dateable????#and rf5.... unless theres smn very very interesting abt martin or the other guys that im not seeing yet.. im leaning ryker still#oops this became a longass rambling when i was just supposed to call the game silly for telling me to marry💀#WAIT ONE MORE THING!! ID GO FOR RADEA IF I COULD RRRGAAAH H SHES SO CUTE
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obsesssedblerd · 9 days ago
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New years’ kisses with the jjk guys <3 
Contains: au where everyone is happy and in love, hella fluff.
Gojo would make a couple of teasing comments, but on the inside, he’d be so thrilled that you looked over at him when the countdown started and everyone at the party began pairing up. He thought that telling a few stupid jokes would distract you from the fact that he’s definitely blushing. When the clock hits midnight and you kiss him, the fireworks that go off outside are nothing compared to the fireworks that he feels. He’d never tell you, but it was exactly how he imagined that his first kiss with you would go. Best night ever. Behind you, you hear your students, Yuuta and Maki, mutter, “Finally.” 
Geto would find you outside so he could call you back in to join everyone else, but you look so pretty and content watching the moon that he didn’t want to disturb you. You notice that he’s watching, so you invite him to sit with you. Right as you hear everyone back inside begin counting down, you feel him place his hand on top of yours. Your heart leaps in your chest when he tells you that he wanted to kiss you to start the new year on a good note. At first, you try to do what he came to do and head back to the party with him where your friends were, but he stops you and tells you that he changed his mind and would like to kiss you where it was quiet instead. Your very first kiss with him was right at midnight, underneath the serene light of the moon. 
Nanami loves kissing you at the start of the year. Even though you’ve been together for six years and have been married for four, you still feel butterflies whenever your husband comes to give you a kiss at midnight on January first. The kids are asleep, and the both of you are enjoying some quiet time on the couch, sipping wine and laughing about how excited and happy your kids were on christmas. He’d turn to you with a small, loving smile and gently kiss you, whispering, “Happy new year, my love,” near your lips. You smile in return and hug him close, careful not to spill your wine. “I love you so much,” you tell him, then pull back and clink your glass against his. “To another great year.”
Toji loves this part, because not only is his birthday on December 31st, he also gets to start the new year with you. Once Tsumiki and Megumi are asleep, you find him in the kitchen eating an extra slice of birthday cake, a little tipsy from the champagne you two had earlier. The sight is a perfect mixture of adorable and ridiculous. You wipe the frosting from the corner of his mouth and ask him if he had fun, and he looks towards the clock on the microwave. “Yeah,” he answers with a light smile. “And it’s about to get even better.” He pulls you in by your waist and gently kisses you, and you taste hints of champagne and cake. “Happy new year, pretty,” he says. “Thanks for makin’ life so special.” 
Choso would ask either Yuuji or Yuki for tips on how to ask you to be his new year’s kiss, because he’s a bit shy and doesn’t want to mess it up. When the minute countdown begins, Yuuji “accidentally” nudges you in his older brother’s direction. You knew what was up, and you wanted Choso to tell you directly. You stand in front of him with a knowing smile as he tries to form the right sentence, and finally, you reach for his hand and just nod. His shoulders slump in relief, and the smile that he gives you is the most precious thing you’ve ever seen. The countdown reaches ten seconds, and over the loud crowds, you hear Yuuji scream in desperation. “Just do it!! She’s right there!!” When midnight strikes, Choso leans in and kisses you. Both of you smile behind each other’s lips when Yuuji cheers. The most perfect way to begin the new year. 
Shiu would kiss you twenty minutes before midnight, right at midnight, and then twenty minutes after midnight. Since the both of you had plenty to drink at the party with your friends, you and him were lost in light kisses, silly jokes and plenty of laughter. “We still haven't cleaned up the wrapping paper from Christm— Oh, what d’ya know?” Shiu flashes a flirty grin at you. “It’s midnight. Gotta kiss you. Y’know, new years and stuff.” You laugh at that, but don’t lean away from him. “Shiu, it’s almost one in the morning. You already kissed me!” His arms circle around your waist, and he kisses your forehead before kissing your lips. “Won’t ever get enough of kissing you. Happy new year, princess. I love you.” 
Sukuna would surprise you. He leads you into the courtyard late at night of his massive estate, and you assumed that he had something important to tell you. You remember overhearing a task he had for Uraume, and you wonder if he’d be sending you with them. “What is it, your highness?” You ask shyly. Sukuna is silent for a brief moment, and you don’t speak. Not afraid, but curious. In the distance, you hear the fireworks go off from other humans celebrating in the towns and cities. You’re about to look at them, but Sukuna cups your face and slowly leans in to kiss you. You’re shocked, but so happy and excited you feel like you’d burst. When he pulls away, his thumb brushes against your cheek. “Happy new year,” he says quietly. You grin brightly. “You brought me out here to give me a new year’s kiss? I’m so honored.” Sukuna scoffs at that, and he turns away before you can see the small smile.
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strawberrynull · 9 months ago
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──⯎ ˙🌙 ̟ cuddling with riki
엔하이픈 | Enhypen | Nishimura Riki
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──Pairing: bf!riki x gf!reader
──Genre: FLUFF
──Synopsis: (Part 2 of the cuddling series) Ways you and Riki would cuddle or hang out
──Warnings: skinship, kissing, i think thats it lol
──A/N: Thanks for another request! Requested by @rikiisthelomllll
masterlist
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☆ First of all, we ALL know you'll be sitting on Riki's lap while he plays video games every day. Of course, when he's done playing games, he'll keep you on his lap wrapped in his arms. He'll hug you tight with his face nuzzled into the crook of your neck.
☆ Or you would sit on Riki's lap while he lets you play video games. He would teasingly poke your sides or your face to make you lose the match. Or he would cover your eyes for a few seconds so you can't see the game. When he's not being a bother, he would help you with whatever game your playing by giving you tips.
☆ When he's sitting next to you, he would lean on you and put an arm around your back, holding onto your waist. The other hand would rest on your stomach because Riki tends to rub people's stomachs to show affection.
☆ If you're laying down, he will definitely lay across your stomach so you two are laying in a cross shape. He lies there despite being bigger than you are. Because he's so tall, he leans on his elbows to take some weight off you but still be able to lay together. He's so silly.
☆ While you lie on your stomach with Riki next to you, you would throw your leg across his body almost like you were climbing on him. He would instinctively rub your leg, holding your waist with his other hand.
☆ Swear on everything, Riki would most definitely make you food and have you sit on the counter while he cooks. Whenever he would have a free hand, it would immediately go to your waist. He would take frequent breaks from cooking to place a few gentle kisses on your lips.
☆ Riki would love when you cuddle with him while curled up to his chest. You would look so small compared to him. He would lay there with you with his hands on your waist. To Riki, you were so cute that he wanted to hold you close and hide you from everyone else because you were only his.
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© strawberrynull, 2024. Do not copy my work. Please DM for permission before translating or reuploading. Thank You
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kelstey · 11 months ago
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mattheo riddle ☆ confess
mattheo riddle x reader
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❃゜・。. ・°゜✼ ゜°・ . 。・゜❃
he hadnt taken his eyes off of you once.
mattheo's gaze lingered on you the whole time you were on the dance floor, not going unnoticed by you. you continued to grind against some random gryffindor, acting oblivious to mattheo's death stare.
less aimed at you, more at the boy who clearly got too excited. mattheo tried to control the urge to absolutely tear him apart then and there but he couldn't. he didn't fancy getting into trouble.
it was even worse that you were wearing a slightly provocative dress - mattheo didn't mind, he could fight. but he did mjnd the fact that someone else's hands were all over you, not his.
you felt grossed out as the gryffindor's hands trailed down your body, wishing they were mattheos as his touch was the only thing you craved.
mattheo finally tore his eyes away from the scene, going over to the drinks table to join his other slytherin friends.
"when are you going to tell her?" enzo asked as he noticed mattheo's arrival.
"what?" mattheo looked at enzo confused.
"don't act stupid, you're in love with the damn girl. you do realise she's one of the most beautiful
- if not most beautiful girl in hogwarts, and other guys are most definitely plotting," enzo sipped the torturous alcohol mixed punch.
"what if she doesn't feel the same way?" mattheo said before taking a shot of vodka, the burn of the liquor tore down his throat.
"don't be silly. you both look at each other like you're the only other people in the world, everyone can see it. but id hurry cause looks like that boy she's dancing with has some other plans," enzo motioned his head to where you were dancing up against a boy.
mattheo's jaw clenched as the other boys hands made their way around your body, a desperate look in his eyes along with a clear bulge as your ass grinded on him.
without thinking, mattheo walked over to you, ripping you away from the boy. "mattheo what the fuck?!" you slurred.
"what the fuck are you doing?" he asked as he held your arm.
"having fun, what else does it look like?" you replied.
"really? cause i can see the disgust in your face as you dance on this twat," mattheo said angrily.
"what's your deal? it's not like we're dating," you said. what you didn't realise is that those words felt like multiple stabs going through his heart.
he knew you weren't dating, of course. the two of you were just best friends who clearly had feelings for each other but were far too stubborn to ever admit it.
"fine, be like that then," mattheo said and let go of you before storming off.
a week had passed since that party, an awkward tension laid amongst your friend group every time the two of you were there that didn't go unnoticed by the others.
neither of you had spoken a word to each other, once again your stubbornness and pride were both far too high to break the no contact.
"for fucks sake! cant the two of you just make up?" draco threw his hands up in the air. the boys were all having a discussion in the slytherin common room about the whole situation between you and mattheo.
"no way, if she wants to speak to me, she can speak to me. i am not talking to her," mattheo rolled his eyes.
"the two of you are literally two little kids, grow up and get over it," blaise added in.
"i agree, mattheo you have no problem getting with other girls so why is it so hard for you to do that with her?" draco said.
mattheo pondered for a bit. why was it so hard? maybe due to the fact that he was purely and utterly in love with you compared to the other girls in hogwarts who were really only used for his pleasure.
"see! you not speaking says so much, get a grip and tell her," blaise said.
"suck my dick," mattheo said before storming off to go to the black lake. he liked the peace; and even better that it was raining so no other students were likely to be there.
apart from you of course. you were sat feeding a squirrel with some trail mix you had in your bag. you were slumped at the bottom of a tree, reading peacefully before spotting a red squirrel.
it made its way over to you and you remembered the mixed nuts you had. you were in awe of the small creature, how it had no fear being cradled in your hand as you fed it.
a twig snapped which scared the squirrel and it ran off. "are you fucking joking me?" you stood up and turned to the source of the noise.
and of course mattheo was stood there. "what are you doing here?" he asked.
"i wanted some peace and quiet," you mumbled before picking up your book and tote bag, ready to leave.
"what's your problem?" mattheo stepped in your way before you could walk past him.
"you!" you shoved his chest and he stumbled back.
"me? right, and what have i done?" he raised his voice.
you grew frustrated, you didn't actually have much of a problem with mattheo. and it didn't help that he looked amazing as the rain soaked his hair and part of his shirt, just enough for you to see his toned abs.
"you know what you've done!" you raised your voice back, you didn't give a reasoning due to the fact you didn't have one, of course you could not lose this argument.
"yeah? why don't you tell me then?" mattheo walked up to you, his large frame towering over you.
"just get out of my head! fuck! every single day you're just there, and i can't help but think of you all the time. do you know how annoying it is seeing you have a new girl sit on your lap almost every time we eat at the great hall? how you want every girl in hogwarts but me? cant you see i fucking love you mattheo?" you shouted, tears welling in your eyes from the overly raw emotions and the fact you just poured your heart out to him.
"so you think ignoring me is going to solve the problem?" mattheo asked.
"yes - no - i don't know?! i want to stop loving you but i can't! i've loved you since second year and i always will!" you confessed.
"what the fuck? i've loved you since second year!" mattheo confessed back.
"then why the fuck aren't you doing anything about it?" you questioned. your question was quickly answered when mattheo grabbed your face and pulled you in. his lips smashed onto yours and things quickly escalated into a very intense make out session.
the anger and annoyance you had from the past week quickly disappeared, you couldn't help but now feel completed and happy. your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him even closer. mattheo's hands snaked around your waist, somehow getting you even closer.
the two of you broke the kiss, gasping for air.
"why didn't you do that sooner?" you asked.
"i'm doing it now, and i think that's all that matters."
❃゜・。. ・°゜✼ ゜°・ . 。・゜❃
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worldlxvlys · 9 months ago
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hiiii!!! so can I have a chubby ready or a plus size reader for matt?? it can be a smut or fluff. you can chose.
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her
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matt sturniolo x plus size! reader
warnings: smutttt, cursing, semi-public sex, p in v, unprotected sex, tittie fixation, oral + handjob (male receiving), slight overstimulation, lots of praise + fluff
a/n: i love youuuu <33
i do this every time.
i convince myself that it’ll end different, that maybe it will go well for me for once; but of course not.
how silly of me to think that something as simple as clothes shopping would be as easy for me as it is everyone else.
now here i was, standing in front of the mirror in the fitting room, comparing myself to the girl i saw on tiktok wearing the exact dress.
except, on her, it actually looked good.
don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of times where i love my body and i feel confident. this just wasn’t one of them.
because on her, it hugged every single curve on her body perfectly. the dress was damn near made for her.
it was silly of me, really, i set myself up for disappointment.
of course the dress looked perfect for her, i’m not her. usually, i’d just suck it up and look for different clothes.
but, how could one piece of clothing look so drastically different on two different people?
when i imagined myself in this dress, this is not what i had in mind.
but i guess i should just be grateful they even had it in my size, right ? when i first walked into the store, i wasn’t even sure they would.
plus size clothing is hard enough to find, especially in LA.
i shook my head lightly as i stared at myself in the reflection.
“what’s wrong ? you don’t like it?” matt asked, taking in my disappointed expression.
he moved to wrap his hands around my waist from behind, staring at my reflection in the mirror.
“it’s ok, i guess. it’s just…not what i envisioned it to look like on me” matt knew exactly what that meant without me having to say a word.
“was what you were picturing based on your body, or someone else’s?” i let out a sigh as i turned away from the mirror.
“look, i’m sure it looked good on her body type, but it looks amazing on yours” he gently cupped my jaw with his hand, moving it so my gaze was back on the mirror.
“why would you want it to look like it does on her when it looks breathtaking on you?” he asked, rubbing circles into my hips.
“you’re just saying that” i spoke lightly. he pushed his hips into mine suddenly, his hard dick poking my thigh eagerly.
“does that feel like i’m just saying it?” he rasped. “you look good, bet you’ll feel even better”
“matt” i let out a whine as his fingers ran up and down my thigh.
“what do you like about it?” he asked as he began to leave teasing kisses along the back of my neck.
i tried to focus on my breathing rather than his hand teasingly moving closer and closer to my core before retreating back down my leg.
“nothing to say? i’ll answer for you, then” he whispered into my ear, his hand disappearing under the dress.
“i like how it shows off these pretty thighs” he breathed, rubbing my thigh gently.
“i like how it covers your tits to everyone else, but when i wanna see them, all i have to do is…” he trailed off before untying the front of the dress, watching as it loosened and my tits fell free.
“so fucking gorgeous” he mumbled to himself, gently caressing my boobs.
“i like how it’s the perfect length, such easy access” he whispered the last part to himself, finding the waistband of my panties and pulling them down.
“i don’t know if it’s the dress i like so much as that fucking body” he spoke, turning me around to look at me.
“i love every inch of you” he spoke as he sat me down on the small bench.
he pulled down his pants and boxers, his dick springing free while i watched in anticipation.
the sounds of my soft moans filled the dressing room as matt pushed himself into me slowly.
his forehead was pressed to mine while he stared into my eyes with a look that made my heart race.
i let out a particularly loud moan when he began to thrust into me deeper, his cock kissing my cervix.
“you gotta stay quiet for me, baby. don’t want anyone hearing, do you ?” he asked as he continued to thrust into me slowly.
i covered my mouth with my hand, shaking my head as i tried desperately to contain my moans.
“feels so- god, you feel so good. you’re so good for me, my perfect girl” he groaned as he held leaned his hands on the bench on either sides of my thighs.
“you have no clue how fucking beautiful you are to me….how much you mean to me” he spoke before moving his face towards my chest.
“gonna show you” he whispered before bringing my nipple into his mouth.
“hmph, matt” my moans were muffled by my hand, my free hand finding its way to his head.
my head fell back into the wall behind me as matt swirled his tongue around my nipple, licking and teasing the sensitive bud.
when he finished, my boob had dark marks on it, staying attached to his mouth by a string of spit.
“god, i love your tits” he mumbled before getting to work on the other one.
his tongue worked my nipple while he continued to thrust sharply and deeply into me.
i tugged on his hair harshly, eliciting a moan from him while he looked up at me, watching me fall apart under him.
“matt i’m so close” i moaned out rather loudly, causing him to pull away from my boob.
he brought his lips to mine, swallowing my moans as our lips danced across each others.
i wrapped my legs around his hips, pulling him as close to me as possible as our lips molded together.
“look so pretty like this, my love. so good for me, could fuck you like this all day” he whispered against my lips.
my eyes squeezed shut when he reached between us to rub my clit, my jaw falling slack.
“matt-” “i know” he cut me off, feeling me clench around him, “come on, give it to me baby. i got you” he whispered as i cried out.
my legs shook around him, hands squeezing his biceps as i released all over him.
my body continued to shake lightly, the aftershocks hitting me every now and then as matt continued to thrust into me.
“can i-” he cut himself off with a guttural groan, “will you let me cum on your tits? please?” he asked me through his grunts.
my face lit up at that, “yes please” i answered. he grinned at that, pulling out as soon as i agreed.
i took his length into my hand, pumping him quickly and watching his face contort in pleasure. “fuck, you’re so good to me” he breathed out.
“you deserve it” i told him “you close? gonna cover me in your cum?” i asked him, his cock twitching at the statement.
“yea, fuck yes”
i stroked him a few more times before thick spurts of his cum flew out of his tip, dripping down my chest.
“yes, yes, yes, yes" he chanted, his voice breaking slightly.
i continued to pump him, watching his seed flow out of his tip, before he pulled my hand away.
“s-sensitive baby” he groaned out, knees beginning to buckle slightly.
“gotta clean you up, right ?” i asked before bringing his tip into my mouth, his hand automatically flying to cover his own.
his eyes rolled to the back of his head as i licked him slowly and gently, collecting every drop of his pleasure and swallowing it.
i removed him from my mouth with a pop, smiling in satisfaction at his fucked-out state.
i brought my hand to my tits, wiping him off of me and licking my hand.
“you trying to kill me?” he asked, mouth hung slightly.
“there are no paper towels” i shrugged at him.
he lightly shook his head, a small smile overtaking his features while he helped me to fix myself up.
i helped him do the same, before picking up the dress.
“so ? are we buying it?” he asked, eyes filled with hope. i smiled at him lightly, “hm, yeah, i think so” i answered.
his smile grew wider at that, “good, because that won’t be the last time i fuck you in that dress” he whispered into my ear.
“well, in that case, i might have to wear it again today”
🧡🧡🧡🧡
masterlist
tag list: @lustfulslxt @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @cupidsword @imwetforyourmom @nickmillersn1gf @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @mxqdii @sturniolowhore @readerakayourname @defnotayonna @urmom2bitch @rootbeerworshiper @starsturniolo @hearts4chriss @theyluv-meee @carolinalikesthings @itzdarling @chrisstopherfilmed @judespoision @sstvrnioloo @littlebookworm803 @nicksdrpepper @chrisloyalgf @robins-scoop @fandomhopped @chr1sgirl4life @bbglmfao @55sturn @sturniolololover @meg-sturniolo @yamamasjumpercables @vanteguccir @ineedchriscock @junnniiieee07 @breeloveschris @luverboychris
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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 14 days ago
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Do you have any crack headcannons like you did with Ace with hitting on Jamil?
I have one of Grim knowing how to use a toilet like a person would but not how to open doors. So during book 5. Guys would see Grim using the toilet, in the dark, in the middle of the night if they have to. They see two bright circles in the bathroom until they turn on the light.
[Referencing this post!]
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👆 This scene from Puss in Boots 2 except it’s Grim and Yuu—
I have a lot of silly personal headcanons (probably way too many to contain in a post)! Off the top of my head:
A frequent topic among the first years is romance. It's mostly because Ace instigates (usually to brag about how much experience + game he has and how everyone else is a LOSER). Deuce and Epel are flustered, Jack tries to be mature and call out Ace's childish behavior + views, Sebek loudly compares what Ace says to the things he has read in his romance novels + advice from Lilia, and Ortho--shockingly--is the most level-headed and logical of the group. (He'll take one look at Ace's vital signs and declare the guy is actually lying about having rizz.)
(PREFACING THIS ONE WITH THE CONTEXT THAT I WAS SUFFERING REALLY BADLY FROM MONTHLY CRAMPS AND CAME UP WITH THIS TO COMFORT MYSELF) Due to their heightened senses, fae and/or beastmen are able to sense very subtle changes, such as shifts in weather (ie a storm is rolling in) and changes in the body. For example, local feminist king L*ona can somehow sense when "that time" of month is coming and will show up on some poor woman's doorstep a few days before it starts with a plastic bag of [feminine hygiene products], snacks, pain relief medicine, and a heating pad in it. He gives NO explanation, just unceremoniously tosses it on the floor before he turns around and peaces tf out.
Mostro Lounge staff are granted paid lunch breaks, but if they choose to eat from the lounge then they still need to pay for 50% of it. They once tried to unionize, but Azul sent in the twins to shut it down real fast.
Jade and Trey love really bad puns and dad jokes.
The Magic Carpet is Scarabia's unofficial mascot. The mobs generally like it and act like it's the dorm's collective pet dog. Sometimes they drop scraps of food for it from banquets/parties (... D-Does it eat? If so, how...?).
Crewel and Vil heard about the time the Ramshackle Ghosts designed and made Yuu + Grim Halloween costumes. They decided to work with the ghosts to make a fashion line using repurposed old fabrics for a charity fashion show. Proceeds went to an environmental conversation organization.
Lilia hates milk substitutes. He finds them offensive and it breaks his heart to see others ask for the "fake stuff". Insists that those are not "true milk", "It's just nut or grain water!! NUT OR GRAIN WATER!!"
Lilia goes on dating apps just to see who he can bag, then he kicks down the door to the Diasomnia lounge to brag that he’s “still got it”.
Malleus learned about swear words from Leona. (He asked Lilia what a “flying fuck” was because Leona said it in front of him 😭)
Crowley has a 20-step beauty routine. Also sings (terribly) while he engages in self care.
Fellow goes on dates just to scam women of their valuables and/or to leech off their resources for a little while. His ideal targets are lonely wealthy widows and/or lonely wives whose spouses are often busy with work or traveling. Usually ends with him getting smacked by the woman, chased off by an angry spouse, or him pathetically groveling for mercy at their feet.
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dollcherray · 9 months ago
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✮⋆˙ DIGITAL SILENCE ୨୧
YANDERE MR.PUZZLES X READER WHOS IN SMG4'S CREW.
A/N:Yahoo! im back babeyyy,way better now and, btw ik smg4's fandom isnt that famous and this will probably only get 2/3 views, but im doing this anyways, this is NOT PROOFREAD edit: this aged like milk
Type: Headcanons, romantic, fluff/light angst.
Tw/Cw: Yandere topics, he hypnotizes you, obsessive behavior, paranoia, delusion, possessiveness, overprotection, suggestive(?), he literally worships you so much, emotional dependence .
Song recommendation: Creative control - Mr puzzles
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୨୧ He got so hooked up on you, and he doesnt know how or why, but he just knew he needed you when he first landed his cameras on you, you were so captivating, he had to understand why.
୨୧ Before he hypnotized everyone, he kept a big eye on you, that were blissfully unaware of his obsession or existence, sometimes he got so excited of looking at you that he almost got to capture you to himself, but he had to control himself, he could do that later.
୨୧ When puzzles finally hypnotized everyone, he needed to see you first than EVERYBODY else and my god, you were so precious and beautiful in person, he couldnt get enough from looking at you, he was so glad he finally got to see your pretty face in person.
୨୧ During the shows, whenever you were on screen, he would display you always as the most perfect character in the story and sometimes he would even insert himself in them just to be more close to you or to be your love interest.
୨୧ He enjoys watching your performances so much, you were just made for the screens! you easily highlighted yourself in every show, even if you were just standing, or staying in the background, he would pay attention to you everytime, every single move you do or word you say, he is paying full attention.
୨୧ He would be extra touchy with you, since he was very lonely when a child, he would take all the years of him wishing there was someone to hug him and etc. On you, he would be soo touch starved.
୨୧ Puzzles would get a bit paranoid and feared when you get your conscience back, he tried to comfort himself with the "they'll never know" mindset, protected by the delusion that he did the right thing of hypnotizing you.
୨୧ Puzzles would panic when you got your conscience and memories back, but relieved that you wouldnt remember the stories where he inserted himself in so he could be creepily more close to you.
୨୧ But when he heard you also wanted to leave, he was furious, how could his own darling try and leave him?! hes the one who can make u a real star, the real deal, and the others are just... second characters, how can you want to stay with such pesky brats?! they were nothing compared to you!
୨୧ But he didnt blame you, you were with those weirdos since the beginning consequently making you not even know half of your potential since you were brainwashed by that pesky crew, so, he had to show you that your place was with him, on the big screens with only him, nobody else.
୨୧ If you wanted to stay with him or not didnt really matter, you were in his reality, he could make you his whenever, he just felt like giving you the illusion of a choice in hopes you would "choose" the right decision. (hes not insane at all! hes just silly!)
୨୧ You were his precious puppet, his puppet, his companion, he couldnt let you leave, no, he couldnt, he needs you and you will need him, he would show you your place, he eventually would.
୨୧ "When i saw you, i instantly knew that you were a natural star, so be good and stay with me, okay?"
561 notes · View notes
untoldstar · 2 months ago
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male yandere! streamer x gn! fan reader
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feeding your parasocial relationships🫶
was tempted to make him a username called masonjar but whateves let’s just stick to a classic name.
got inspired by the post I saw by @blood-smiles !
warnings: parasocial relationship (kinda from both sides) jealousy, yandere themes, obsessive behavior.
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Mason was an insanely popular streamer the type to have both guys and girls fawning over him, edits of him with people thirsting over his good looks but despite the sheer amount of fans he had, you took the liberty of naming yourself his biggest fan.
somehow you ended up being noticed by him, it started with him noticing you in his streams and comments and then seeing you in every single one of his meet-and-greets. Always wearing his merchandise, your account only had a select few pictures of yourself that drowned in all the posts that centered around him. He couldn't help getting curious, you were just so loyal and obsessed with him that he thought it was adorable.
he started chatting with you, the way you freaked out when he messaged you was so cute, he had a grin stretched on his face the entire time. Because of his active interaction with you you became known to his other fans and gained popularity.
he was having thought of meeting up with you frequently, maybe even a few collabs..this could be a big break for both of you!
but as time went by it seemed like you were just...moving on.
you didn't interact with his socials as much anymore, missed more streams than the ones you watched, even your content started to stray further away from him. You either didn't post as much or you were posting about other low-stream influencers who didn't even compare to him. He was popular, good looking, and skilled. Everyone on the internet loved him and you were lucky enough to get noticed by him and you're just throwing it away?!
he knows it's silly and that he shouldn't care but you were his loyal fan..did it mean nothing?!
truly you were moving on, Mason has a special spot in your heart but your interests were changing. It was a habit of yours where you get obsessively hyper-fixated on something or someone and then hop on to the next thing.
you didn't do anything wrong you honestly thought Mason forgot your existence but the spam messages that filled up your inbox later proved that that is far from the truth.
Mason: so what you just got bored of me huh?
Mason: you were drooling over me just two weeks ago and now you're over here praising someone else?!
Mason: answer me
Mason: why aren't you answering me?!
Mason: are you too busy obsessing over a new guy to even send a text back?
his jaw clenches and his hand shakes from the tight grip he has on his phone as he almost burns a hole into the damn thing from staring at the screen so hard while waiting for you to see your messages.
he gets fed up and sets his phone down and put on his headphones getting ready to start the stream.
he acts normal in front of the camera but his eyes keep sliding down to the comments trying to find you there. He tries to mask it by reading and replying to other people's comments even though he doesn't truly care.
he only wants your eyes to watch him.
your praise.
your devotion.
surely you'll come back to him..won't you?
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whiskeyghoul · 10 months ago
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Pt2. || She blinded me with science || [Spencer Reid x Goth!Reader]
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Read part 1 here
Read part 3 here
A/N: OMG I can’t believe how much people enjoyed part 1? Seriously, as I am finishing this part up it has reached over 500 notes, I am shocked and so very thankful for the love. I didn’t expect it. A silly little fic not proof read, totally self indulgent, really this is so wonderful and I appreciate everyone who has taken the time to read it and reblog, like or comment on it. I hope part 2 doesn’t disappoint. Part 3 is going to be here soon too, which will be the unofficial date.
WC: 1,9K ~
Tags: Fluff, just fluff, Spencer is a flustered mess, Alt!Reader, Goth!Reader, 2 idiots flirting, Reader and Penelope are besties, use of Y/N, Penelope has been playing matchmaker, alluding to a date, crushes.
Warnings: None. 
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Your pov.
It was a late Sunday afternoon. You were sitting on Penelope Garcia’s couch, cup of hot tea in hand. Legs curled up on the couch with a colorful blanket over your lap. It clashed just ever so slightly with your dark outfit. The two of you are in complete contrast to each other. Penelope was a ball of color in a bright purple dress with a lemon pattern, large yellow earrings and a blue bolero sweater. Compared to your all black ensemble she was a ray of sunshine. An array of snacks spread out over the coffee table. The aforementioned peppy blonde was sitting next to you on the couch. Deeply engrossed with the romance show playing on the TV. You watched it together every Sunday, when a new episode would come out. Today your mind was somewhere else completely.
“He hasn’t called yet.” You spoke up. Penelope eyed you curiously, “Who?” She asked, her focus gone from the show. Her eyes peered at you with interest from behind the cat eye glasses she had picked out that day. “Doctor Reid.” You turned your head back to the TV casually, trying to not seem bothered. You could hear Penelope hold back a small squeal. It sounded more like a gasp that way. “Oh my god! Are you interested in him? What did he do to impress you? I have been trying to set you up for ages! You have shot down any person I have discussed with you. Always something wrong.” She started rambling, hearing the clink of her glass being put on the coffee table. Her hands grabbed yours, making you look back at her and rolling your eyes. “Firstly: I am not ‘interested’ in him. Secondly: I just thought he would have called by now. Or stopped by at least.” You shrugged noncommittally. You were just a little interested. Thinking back to that meeting.
When Spencer had stepped into the lab earlier that week, courtesy of Penelope, you had found his awkward demeanor endearing. He was hot, that was for sure, and tall, you remembered having to look up at him, Those dark brown eyes pinning you in place. Especially when you had stood so close together. You had wanted to tease him after watching him stumble over his sentences. See him even more flustered. It made you somewhat excited. When you had given him your number you could feel his pulse racing under his skin. He had shown many signs of being interested yet he hadn’t even texted you. It made you rethink the interaction. 
“Well, he couldn’t have stopped by. They got called on a case in Utah so he’s not really in the area right now.” Penelope clarified. Those words put your mind at ease more than you expected them to. “Oh, I guess he can’t really get to the lab then.” You shrugged. Just a little disappointed but feeling relieved that apparently he hadn’t meant to not visit you. Or maybe he had done so on purpose if he would be close. Your earlier relief was replaced by a mild panic again. Trying to convince yourself you weren’t interested in Dr. Reid. Although, he could have texted.
You could practically feel Penelope smirk as you turned your attention back on the TV. Unable to focus but pretending to. “Spence is not one for texting. He probably has been getting to the hotel at ungodly hours and hasn’t had time to call.” it was like she could read your mind. “Don’t do that.” You said with a shudder. “Do what?” Penelope questioned innocently. “Read my mind like that. It’s weird.” You answered, making her laugh. “Just goes to show how well I know you.” She answered with a smile. It was true. She knew you too well you would even argue. The fact both of you were women in a male dominated field, both dressed eccentricly, and both with a passion for cheesy movies and tv shows. It was only a matter of time until you were best friends after your first run in.
Your phone, which was placed on the table, lit up at that moment. The ringtone played at a high volume, making the cure blast through the room. Your eyes quickly flickered to the screen. Caller ID unknown. You picked up the phone, hesitant of the unknown caller, deciding to hang up instead. You had been plagued by telemarketers for the past month and really didn’t want to deal with that right now. If it was important they would call again. And they did, you still had your phone in your hands when it went off again. “Just pick it up! I will keep watch over our show, fill you in later.” Penelope said, motioning her hands for you to get up. You got off the couch, soft blanket falling to the ground as you picked up the phone. Softly padding away to the kitchen to be out of earshot of Penelope. “Y/n speaking.” you answered, waiting to hear from the other end of the line.
“Hey… ehm… is this not the right time? Are you busy?” The voice on the other end of the line made you straighten up slightly in surprise. “Doctor Reid.” You breathe out his name quietly, adding a “Now is a perfectly good time.” to your sentence. Wondering how hearing his voice through the slightly tin-like phone speaker made you feel a little flutter in your stomach. “Good… I didn’t want to bother you. You can just call me Spencer by the way. Doctor sounds too formal. I just introduce myself like that. It’s a habit. I don’t call you Doctor L/n either. So call me Spencer.” He started rambling. A smile spread across your lips, this rambly version was different from how speechless he had been in the lab. You held back a giggle. Apparently you had rendered him speechless in the lab. “Alright, Spencer.” You answered, the humor in your voice apparent. His breath hitched a little on the other side of the line. 
“Why did you call?” You asked, trying to continue on without dawdling. “Oh eh, the report, I ehm…” He was quiet for a moment. It crossed your mind that maybe he didn’t need to speak with you, but he wanted to. “Yes?” You urged after a silence had fallen on the other side of the phone line. There was an intake of breath from Spencer, a moment that signaled he might be trying to raise some courage. “I didn’t want to talk about the report.” He finally spoke. It made you smile, your cheeks flushing ever so slightly. “Oh, well then what did you want to talk about?” You added a bit of playfulness in your tone. You pictured him, holding the phone to his ears that were tipped red. His face was probably just as flushed as it had been in the lab. 
“I ehm- I haven’t been able to focus, on the case that is. Because I keep thinking about the lab. How I probably came off as a mess, I just didn’t know what to say because you looked so… Not that you look bad because you don’t, you looked really nice. Emily says my IQ gets slashed down to 68 when I am around pretty girls. I wanted to make a good impression. I couldn’t find the words though. I usually don’t make great first impressions, because I tend to ramble. Just- I really really hope I didn’t make a bad first impression.” His sentences flowed into each other like word vomit. Nervous, quick, and hardly understandable. Luckily, you were trained in the art of understanding nervous rambles when Penelope would spiral into one from time to time. However he had called you pretty. “Spencer.” You said his name almost like a question. There was a beat of silence. “Yes?” He asked softly, he sounded so nervous.
“You didn’t make a bad impression. I gave you my number for a reason.” You told him with a smile, a little giddy as the words ‘he called me pretty’ kept bouncing around your head. “And I am sorry I called without any real reason to… I know it was for talking about the report. Though Morgan tried to convince me it wasn’t.” Spencer answered. You rolled your eyes at that. Ofcourse, this hyper intelligent man would mix up what you were trying to do. “I gave you my number because I wanted you to call me. Not about the report. I just wanted you to call me. About anything.” There was apparently a need to clear up that confusion. It was silent for another moment. “Oh.” It was like realization dawned on him. “So I should have called sooner, right?” His question made you laugh softly, trying not to clue in Penelope on your call.  “Yes, you should have. Or could have at least. I was waiting.” You answered back, smiling at the ground. You fidgeted with one of the large rings on your free hand, twisting the cool metal round with your thumb.
“I’m sorry I didn’t.” You could almost hear the smile in his voice. The slight uptick in his pitch. You imagined he was still fiddling with the sleeve of his sweater, or was perhaps looking at his shoes with a grin. “You can make it up to me by buying me a coffee when you get back.” The suggestion came naturally, you didn’t even have to think about it. The words left your lips before you could, really. “What do you like?” Spencer asked without hesitation. “Cinnamon latte.” You answered it softly, a little surprised he agreed so readily. A giddy feeling in your stomach. “Alright, cinnamon latte, I’ll remember.” Spencer sounded a little breathy, like he too was feeling giddy at the prospects of having coffee together. Like the idea of taking time to get to know each other at work over a warm beverage was the perfect first date. “What do you like?” You asked in turn, wanting to know what he would usually get. Knowing more about him would feel so domestic and sweet. “Black coffee, usually with tons of sugar.” He had a hint of embarrassment in your voice. A little muffled like he had covered his mouth to hold in the confession of drinking it so sweet. You smiled at his answer. Of course he had a sweet tooth. “Tons of sugar, I’ll remember.” You mirrored his words. 
“Oh! My! God!” You heard Penelope gasp from the living room. Knocking you out of your little phone call bubble with Spencer. “I think I have to go. You better call me tomorrow.” You said it lightheartedly. Just wanting to hear from him again soon. “I will. I’ll call you.” Spencer answered. “Bye Spencer.” “Bye Y/n.” You hung up with a smile, already turning and walking back into the living room. Penelope turned around on the couch to look at you, “They shot Richard!” She looked absolutely shocked as she gave you the news of your favorite character being hurt. You couldn’t wipe the smile from your face though. “Spencer called.” You saw her face form from a shocked to surprise expression, “Oh! My! God!” She sounded a lot happier that time, and you knew you wouldn't hear the end of it.
643 notes · View notes
mintmatcha · 10 months ago
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Inevitable Things : chapter one
aizawa x reader fic
cw: aizawa x reader, cisfem reader, office AU, no quirks. no porn in the first two chapters, sorry gang :)
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masterlist | next chapter
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Prome Medical Devices hired you as a personal assistant to the CEO, Toshinori Yagi, shortly after he was diagnosed with his second bout of prostate cancer and shortly before they learned it had metastasized to bone. It was a tragic, yet expected turn of events.The man had been sick most of his life, they told you, he's probably slept in hospital beds more times than he's slept in his own. It was, like most things, inevitable.
Over the following weeks, through chemo and taps and rotating hospital doors, he began working from home and handling only the absolute basics, and your silly assistant job evolved into more. You had only planned to stay for a couple months, but then another horrible thing happened.
You became Somehow Important. 
Days went from scrolling on Twitter between writing notes to juggling everything that no one else could handle. Sitting in for meetings, handling calls, scheduling reviews and system checks, running to the pharmacy midday: there's nothing you haven't done. It’s a lot, but in the grand scheme of it all, it's nothing-- especially compared to the things that everyone else gets done here. 
8:35am. The security man gives you a nod without checking for your badge. Engineers skitter around the office like cockroaches. It's always a good sign when no one immediately comes to find you; that means your boss is still alive and doing about the same as he was yesterday. No updates, you’ve found, are good. No one bothers to tell you when good things happen: you’re the fixer, the emergency contact. When you’re being informed of anything, it’s because someone else wants you to clean up the mess.
(The only exception is from the man himself. Toshinori sends you the best kind of updates; mundane things from his life that he needs to share, like pictures of his duck pond or his review of the new coffee shop in town. It’s enough to keep you going, even when the day absolutely blows. You only had a few months working directly with the man, but he was fond of you-- and everyone was fond of him.)
Outdated filaments thrum down the halls. Your heels click against the tile with every step, a slow march to another day of monotony, a kind of dread that not even your phone can distract you from. Because your position is rather undefined for the corporate world, your desk is in an awkward spot, sandwiched in the hall, equidistant from the engineering department, the CEO's office, and the coffee machine. In terms of convenience, it's lovely, but it also means you have nowhere to hide.
Before you can even make it to your desk, a young man pops into the way and heads straight for you, a bit too quickly to be passed off as casual. Your heart sinks, then you realize it's just one of the interns: a college kid who's clearly had too many energy drinks already.
“Hey,” Denki smiles with too much gum, so wide his cheeks almost swallow up his eyes. He’s a scruffy, dirty blonde, a patchy black streak on one side of his head. His button down is obviously unironed, so crumpled it almost looks like a pattern, matching perfectly with his untied tie. It’s a good thing that he’s cute; you doubt he’d have gotten this far in life if he wasn’t. 
“Good morning, how are you? Have a good night? You look so pretty this morning. MILF town over here.” he says, twiddling the toe of his shoe into the carpet. “I made the pot of coffee for you,so you don’t have to worry about that-”
You cut him off. “What did you do?” 
The interns don’t report to you. If anything, they run parallel to you. If there’s anyone they should be ass kissing, it should be the department head, not some personal assistant, but the group considers you an ally. Maybe even a friend.
“I wouldn’t say that it’s something that I did,” the boy explains. He sucks air in through his teeth. “It’s more like what I didn’t do.”
“Denki.”
“It’s just the reports! I have to submit them end of day and it’s just not--” He juts out his bottom lip. “Can you proof my work? Please? The Eraser’s going to have my head if I make another mistake.”
The lead engineer is infamous for deleting whole chunks of code that the interns have made and ruining months of their work. Last month it was Ochako's work, who then spent the rest of the day at your desk, sniffling. The four others  were equally terrified of the man, constantly fretting and bitching about the ‘cruel working conditions.’ If Prome wasn't so prestigious (and internships weren't necessary for graduating) there’d be no interns left. You’re sure Eraser would prefer it that way.
“Please?” Denki clutches his hands together in prayer. “Please, please, please?”
 You don't even pretend to hem and haw.
“Email it over before lunch.” you say and he lights up. 
“Aw, you’re the best!” He turns away and practically skips down the hall. “I’m gonna drop off Izuku’s stuff too, okay?”
There’s no chance to say no before Denki’s gone. You flop into your chair and kick off your heels, trying to convince yourself that you don’t already regret saying yes. You catch your own appearance in the black screen of your computer. Makeup doesn’t do much to cover up the fact you’ve been crying. You can see it in your eyes, in the creases of your skin that you wish weren't there.  Even as the screen lights up, you can still catch your own face, starting back with that sad, sad expression. 
It's been mostly sleepless nights since Touya left, but you push through and ignore whatever you can. You miss your travel mug, the one that matched the coaster on your desk. You miss your forks, the ones that weren’t the awful ones from the thrift store down the road, bought solely out of panic when you returned to an empty apartment.  Most of all, you miss him, how the apartment felt warmer with two bodies instead of one, and how secure you felt with someone who loves you.
Your screen loads and a big, red 24 flashes in the corner-- fuck, the works already piling up. You try to squish any thought of Touya’s disappearing act into the back of your head. Like a dog, Touya always comes back home to you. He just needs to be wild for a bit, play off leash, and then he’ll crawl back like always. 
You check your phone. He’s still saved under “AVOID AT ALL COSTS” and the last five texts you sent are all unread. Your thumb hovers over the delete button for a moment; it’d be easier to cut him off and end this cycle. You can stop pushing the boulder up the hill,  just for it to tumble back down again. You could pursue someone else, maybe someone nice or smart or at least not rude-
 Focus. Compliance is raising concerns about the new platform and manufacturing has CC'ed you into an issue about screw heads, two things that you know nothing about. You flip your phone over and push through. What’s the difference between a hex and a truss and why should you care?
..
11:59. You’re none the wiser about either topic, but the dust seems to be settling and everyone seems to be happy enough. Denki’s reports are an absolute mess, bad to the point you start to wonder if he even tried. The pages aren't even formatted correctly, so it’s going to take most of your lunch to iron out the wrinkles. Luckily, Izuku is a bit more competent and his tasks look great, so-
“Oh, baby girl!”
You stop typing and sit straight up to peer over your computer screen, hiding the remnants of your microwaved lunch. With arms raised high and dressed in his finest ironed button down, Yamada Hizashi enters. Tall, blonde, thin, and leggy: Hizashi would have been a Victoria’s Secret model if he wasn’t a man. His long hair is tied back into a messy bun, a couple of loose tendrils floating  around his face in an effortlessly, annoyingly charming way as he marshes straight for you. 
“Let me see ‘em!” he demands loudly, a smile on his face and his hands on his hips. “Come on, baby. You know what I want.”
If it was anyone else, you’d think the man was a creep, but Hizashi is just so earnest about the way he lights up a room. With a belabored sigh and a grin, you roll your chair back a bit and stick your leg to the side to reveal your pink, fluffy slippers. The man claps his hands together and laughs a deep, hearty chuckle, genuinely bemused. 
The bunny slippers had started as a secret. The original dress code had required women to wear heels to work, which was fine, until the back of your feet became nothing but blisters. To give yourself some respite during the day, you had hidden a pair of slippers under your desk, just a little treat to make it through the day. It seemed like a genius idea-
Until the day the fire alarm went off. In the surprise, you had forgotten to change your shoes back, and proceeded to spend the next half an hour outside with the entire company in your violently pink shoes.
Luckily, everyone thought it was pretty funny.
Especially Hizashi.
“Seeing my work wife is the best part of the week.”
You throw a hand over your heart and gasp, trying to hold back your smile. “Only your work wife?”
“Oh, babygirl, I’d marry you in an instant.” He leans over your desk with another sigh, this one heavier. “I’d make you the trophy wife you were born to be.”
“Cool it, Mic.” Your heart sinks a bit at the voice.  “HR is going to have your head if you aren’t careful.”
Aizawa “The Eraser” Shouta makes his third appearance at the coffee machine this morning. He’s an average sized man, if not slightly short, with dark hair and the beginnings of a salt and pepper beard. The muscles in his jaw flex whenever he looks your way, almost as if he’s chewing away his annoyance. The most notable thing about him is a scar on his high cheek bone, long healed and silver in the light. He sits his coffee cup - a beat to shit Stanley thermos from long before they were cool- under the tap and lets the java pour, that sour expression never leaving his face.
Aizawa has worked here since the beginning. As one of the founding members of Prome and a lead engineer, he’s had his hands in absolutely every machine the company has produced, and yet he carries himself with none of the pomp and circumstance he deserves. Instead of abiding by the strict dress code, he wears a bright yellow sweatshirt that has an obvious coffee stain on the pocket.  It’d be charming if he wasn’t an infamous dick. The two of you rarely interact, despite the fact he visits the coffee station next to your desk multiple times a day, offering you no more than a nod most days. The interns are terrified of him-- and rightly so. You’re also scared of him. You’ve never met anyone else as tightly wound or as obsessed with work as him; there’s a rumor that he even sleeps here some days.
“Don’t listen to him,” Hizashi says. “He’s just jealous.”
“I’m not jealous, I’m protecting the company from potential litigation when bunny slippers over here-” he juts a chin your way- “ decides your flirting isn’t fun anymore.” 
You knew he wasn’t jealous. It’s an open secret that Aizawa doesn’t like you very much. Unlike any other of the department heads, he never allocates you work or stops by to chat. There was even a rumor that he wanted to eliminate your position last year; you wouldn’t care so much if he didn’t have the power and sway to make that happen. 
Hizashi pops a hip to the side. He isn’t afraid of anyone it seems; he even claims to be the man’s friend after hours.“Would you rather me go back to flirting with you?”
Aizawa stares back, only the trickle of coffee echoing in the hall. Finally, when it almost reaches the top, he shuts it off and glares. “You’re not even supposed to be in office today, Mic.” 
Hizashi had always been the most notable salesman in the company, but once the CEO’s health went downhill, he had taken over a lot of the speaking roles as well. Interviews, speeches, and the like: Toshinori Yagi had dubbed him Mr. Microphone and the name had just stuck. From what you can tell, he’s actually pretty close with Aizawa and the other founding members outside of work as well.
“I have a quick meeting with the marketing gals in a couple minutes,” Hizashi explains. He brings his attention back to you, brows waggling. Fuck- you know what he’s about to say.
 “And I wanted to wish my wife an early happy birthday.”
Oh, god. Your face flushes with heat-- you had hoped he had forgotten that. You glance over to Aizawa, who seems more interested than usual.
“It's tomorrow,” you explain. He nods curtly.
“Our office darling is going to be thirty, flirty and feeling fine!” Mic explains further. Ugh. You wish he didn't sound so happy about it. When you think about it for too long, turning thirty feels like the end of the world, an evil you just can't avoid. It's better than the alternative, you guess. 
“Are you and the boyfriend planning on a romantic night?”
A second gut punch of a statement.
“Oh, no, I’m just-- he--” You almost get emotional for a moment. Thirty years old and single: it feels like the end of the world for some reason. Everyone else is getting married or having kids or living some dream life. Fuck-- even two of the goddammit interns are engaged and they're practically babies! At this point, you might as well give up and die alone; no one else is ever going to want you, are they? 
 The glimpse of Aizawa in the corner, watching you with those judgemental eyes, sobers you up quickly. 
“We broke up, so I’m just staying in.”
The two snap their heads towards each other. Mic waggles his eyebrows, not so subtly gesturing to a non receptive Aizawa. You know that look, the excitement and relief. It’s not a secret that no one really liked Touya-- people have been openly voicing their contempt for years. He wasn’t a bad guy, except for the times he was, but people only ever remembered the bad things. 
“Oh, is it…?” Mic bites back his words, debating how harsh he should be.  “Is it for real this time?”
Touya always comes back. Everyone knows the routine by now. 
“Yeah,” you lie. “I’m done with him.”
“Good.” Aizawa says. You grimace at that; even he knows? You didn’t know he paid attention to anything outside of work, let alone your shitty interpersonal drama.
“More than good. Amazing! Spectacular! I’m so, so, so proud of you!” Mic adds on and you pretend it doesn’t bother you. It’s strange; the more others despise him, the more your heart aches. Touya needs you and you need him; who else will have him?
Who else will have you?
“That means we can go out for drinks to celebrate!”
“Oh, it’s okay, you don’t have to do that.”
“Too late, nope. We’re having a two-for-one birthday single bash tomorrow.” He’s on his phone, typing wildly. “I hope you have something pretty to wear because I’m going to show you how you deserve to be treated.”
Fuck. You’d rather be alone, sniveling and waiting for Touya’s return in your apartment, but Hizashi is smiling. His intentions are good; it’d be cruel to deny him. 
“Nemuri knows some awesome spots-” The man is a whirl, typing and talking and walking. “You better get excited, baby girl.”
“Oh, yay,” you offer weakly. Hizashi isn’t listening anymore; he’s caught up in his own plans, briskly walking down the hall. A breath you didn’t know you were holding sneaks out and you slump back down to your seat.
“You really don’t have to let him walk all over you like that,” Aizawa says. He swirls his cup slowly, watching the rim.  
You try to offer the man a smile, but you can tell it looks forced. Sure, Hizashi can be a lot, but he just wants to help, as misguided as that urge is. 
“It’s okay.” When he doesn’t look convinced, you add. “Really.”  
“Are you sure?”  he presses, voice tight. 
“Mhm.” You return to your keyboard and start typing, hoping that he understands the social cue. “Thanks though.”
Thankfully, he lets it go. Turning down the hall, he starts to sip his coffee, but then freezes mid stride.
“You make this?”
“No.”  
“I can tell,” Aizawa says, examining his cup. “It’s fucking dog water.”
That comment is so off kilter that you can’t help but snort. Aizawa watches you for a beat more, maybe bemused, maybe not, then nods. With that, he leaves, an empty coffee pot in his wake.  Another item to add on your growing list. 
-
The rest of the day goes by quicker than you need it to. Denki leaves a little bit after lunch for a doctor’s appointment and the rest of the workforce trickles out after. The head of development, Nezu, has you run through potential presentations before you follow up on compliance’s worries again. The coffee pot was refilled four more times, all by you, and your messages to Touya still sit delivered and unread. Two hours after the work day was supposed to end, you slip your heels back on. Denki’s files are pretty much unrecognizable now, but that’s a good thing.  All of the college students are intelligent and more accomplished than you’ll ever be, but you’re not sure why they can’t figure out basic busy work. There’s nothing hard about it, other than focusing.
With a final press of a key, your personal printer hums to life. A staple and a paperclip and you’re done: now it’s just a quick trip to engineering and you can finally go home. Your work isn't physical, but God, hunching at a desk all day takes a toll on your body. A flare of something eats at your lower back as you stroll the empty building and try to rub the grit from your eyes. You think there’s a frozen pizza at home or maybe some pasta-- though, you can’t remember if that was from this monday or last monday. Maybe it’d be safer to just throw it away.
The department itself  is a long row of cubicles, with miscellaneous machines and computers littering the other side of the room. You recognize old prototypes and parts of Prome's most famous product: a hospital bed. 
Before you had set foot in this building, you never thought a bed could count as a medical device -- or as something highly complicated and thoroughly engineered -- but this bed is different. It’s comfortable, lightweight, and durable, all while able to track a patient’s movement and comfort. It even records a patient's glucose, body temperature, SPO2, and many other medical things that go over your head. When used correctly, bedsores rates have been reduced to nearly zero and hospital related illnesses are caught significantly earlier.
In about three months, the newest model will be released, complete with full integration into electronic record systems. If everything goes according to plan, it’ll be revolutionary. Working here is a headache, but you do take pride that it's a company that does good. 
“Do you need something?” 
You jump at the sound of the voice, flipping around to search the room. Tucked at the end of it all is an open office door. Inside, Aizawa is perched at his desk, head in one hand, reading glasses in the other.  He’s illuminated only by the computer screen, his deep, dark eyes bouncing side to side as he carefully reads.
 Aizawa always looks tired, but now so especially; his heavy lidded eyes are drooped with fatigue and his skin is pallor, black stubble dusting his unshaved cheeks. There’s no bite or annoyance to his voice-- maybe even a little levity. For once, you don’t want to scurry away from him like a mouse, hiding in the shadows and corners to avoid his claws.  You still approach cautiously, heels sharp against the tile. The silence in between each hit makes your skin prick with an unknown nausea. 
“I thought everyone went home.” You say. 
“Everyone did. Just me-- and you, apparently.” He taps out a word or two. His office is devoid of personal items, desk covered in nothing but stacks of papers and illegible post notes, nothing to hint to his personal life. It’s been three years, yet you have no idea what his personal life is like-- if he even has one, that is.
“No slippers tonight?”
That was either a dig or a joke. You aren’t sure either way, but the way your shoes sound when you walk even closer feels like its own answer. When you reach the corner of his desk, he finally looks your way. It hits you that you've never actually been this close to him before. It's always been passes in the hall and distant conversations. His skin is smoother than you'd thought it'd be, with creases between his brow that fill themselves when he-
“Do you… need something?”
“Oh, uh-- Denki left these at my desk by accident,” you lie, sliding the file on to the corner of his desk. “I think they’re for you.”
He regards you again, more thoroughly this time. With a tilt of his head, he inspects your face, eyes flickering between your two. In the dim, they’re nothing but black dots, an inkinesss that you could fall into if you were any closer. 
He’s pretty.  And that’s an unsettling thought. You’ve never allowed yourself to consider that before. Immediately, you walk the thought back. No. Nobody with his personality is attractive-- hands down. Touya is the only dick you need in your life. 
“You should go home. It's late.” he says before turning back to his work. He types a couple things, then hits the backspace and deletes it all again. “Go home.”
Adjusting the bag on your shoulder, you sigh, the workday catching up to you. “You should too.” 
“Hm,” he grunts. He takes a long sip from his thermos, tipping it back to suck the dregs. You’d never noticed the sticker of the bottom before- a faded and torn image of an orange cat.  “Maybe.”
That’s a no. You don’t push the issue. You start towards the door, then pause. 
“Do… do you want me to make another pot of coffee before I go?” You’re not sure why you offer. Everything’s been put away and cleaned for tomorrow. It’d take at least 15 minutes to set up again. 
Aizawa slides his glasses back on, adjusting them by the bridge, only for them to slip right back down the flat bridge of his nose.
“You don't have to do that.” 
With that you leave, no proper goodnight dismissing you. The tap of your heels and the clack of his keyboard mix into some sort of soft, unbalanced rhythm. Despite yourself, you think of Touya, of where he is and where he isn’t. Is it also quiet there? Has he thought of someone else in the same way you just did?
When the doors of the building close and the security guard nods your way, the sound of percolation echoes behind you, the final drops falling into a freshly brewed pot.
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phoenixkaptain · 2 years ago
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I have So Many thoughts about Scum Villain I have so many feelings I am overflowing with Them I am drowning in it I am dying
Shen Qingqiu telling everyone (including himself!) that he didn’t mourn for Binghe, okay? He did not mourn for him! He just repaired his first sword and buried it in his back garden so he could sit by it for hours at a time! He just felt so guilty that he concocted an entire elaborate ploy to off himself but still live so that Luo Binghe could get revenge on him! He just stopped eating because he didn’t have to eat in the first place and food tastes bland when it’s not made by Binghe! He called out Binghe’s name and compared Gongyi Xiao to Binghe and thought about Binghe at least once every three sentences, but he was Not mourning! He was just vibing, okay, you don’t get it-
The extra where Shen Qingqiu sees Luo Binghe during the five years he was dead. And Luo Binghe is working diligently and always busy and makes food everyday like he’s waiting for Shen Qingqiu to wake up. And he says he doesn’t know how much longer he can take it, but he takes it for years and would’ve taken it for even longer if he had to. And he holds Shen Qingqiu’s body to feed him qi and Shen Qingqiu recognizes it as the way he held Luo Binghe when he got hurt. And even though loterally everyone thought Luo Binghe was doing awful things to Shen Qingqiu’s body, all evidence points to him just holding it. Luo Binghe never touched Shen Qingqiu inappropriately and he was so sad and he was so broken.
The part where Luo Binghe says “Theoretically, how would someone go about showing another person that they have strong feelings for them?”
Mobei-jun: “Have you tried beating him up three times a day?”
Luo Binghe: “Mobei-jun, you are uninvited from answering.”
Shang Qinghua thinking about Peerless Cucumber everytime he gets insulted and getting nostalgic about it, but then pretending he only “just remembered” the username when he actually meets Shen Qingqiu and finds out he’s the one Shang Qinghua has been fondly remembering for literal years. You only remembered just barely, huh, Shang Qinghua? Yeah, okay, sure…
Shen Qingqiu was purposefully pretending to be stupid so that Liu Qingge would beat up his own Bai Zhan Peak disciples. Shen Qingqiu finds out they were bullying Luo Binghe and vows to get revenge, he was purposefully playing dumb so that Liu Qingge would volunteer someone to come up and then he’d go, “whoop, haha, silly me, you were right, Shidi :)”
Shang Qinghua comes back from a trip and everyone is talking about how weird Shen Qingqiu is acting and he’s like “What? What happened? How is he acting strange?” and Yue Qingyuan replies “He had a peaceful conversation with me for two hours” and Shang Qinghua immediately goes “He’s cursed, he’s definitely cursed, is he dying??”
Everyone else: “Shen-shixiong is being nice to us…”
Yue Qingyuan: “Is there any way to get Shen-shidi back to normal?”
Everyone else, internally: “Maybe, but I’m not looking for it.”
The entire Holy Mausoleum section. It’s stuck with me for two years. I love all of it. From beginning to end. The entire section, the moment Shen Qingqiu wakes up in a coffin to the moment Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe get out. All of it. Every single thing that happens is comedy gold and I will never get over it.
But of course there are highlights.
Shen Qingqiu, knocking on a coffin he can’t open, trying to hide from the things wandering around trying to kill him: “Excuse me, may I come in?”
Tianlang-jun, inside that coffin: “Sure.”
Shen Qingqiu just casually carting his boy Binghe around. Hanging out. Trying not to die. Getting stabbed multiple times and having plants grow out of his legs. The usual.
The Old Huan Hua Palace Master being a human stick. At first, Shen Qingqiu is like “omg Binghe is insane.” Then, after the Old Palace Master acts creepy towards Binghe and kind of implies creepiness about Binghe’s mom, Shen Qingqiu goes: “No, wait, yeah, this guy deserves this and worse.”
Shen Qingqiu: sits up in his coffin
Meng Mo: “I can’t help you wake up Luo Binghe.”
Shen Qingqiu: lays back down in his coffin
Meng Mo: “What are you- Are you going back to sleep?!”
Shen Qingqiu calling Zhuzhi-lang “Xizhi-lang” and Zhuzhi-lang tripping over his own feet then just sighing and letting him do whatever
Tianlang-jun: “Why do you know so much about the Holy Mausoleum?”
Shen Qingqiu:
Shen Qingqiu: “LOOK a DISTRACTION!”
Luo Binghe: “Why do you know so much about the Holy Mausoleum?”
Shen Qingqiu: “I read about it in one of Qing Jing Peak’s books.”
Luo Binghe, previous head disciple who has all of the books that have ever been on Qing Jing Peak memorised: “I see. I don’t recall that one.”
Shen Qingqiu:
Shen Qingqiu: “Oh hey look, a distraction-“
Tianlang-jun asking Shen Qingqiu to help him up and then his arm popping off.
Tianlang-jun just generally being the weirdest fucking guy. Tries to be a wingman for his nephew. Helped conspire with his nephew to bring a dead guy back to life. Has been stuck under a mountain and says it was for ten years, despite the fact that it was almost certainly longer than that. Sings the song about Shen Qingqiu fucking his son and then bluntly asks “Did you fuck my son?” Says “I was looking forward to meeting you” specifically because of the song about Shen Qingqiu fucking his son.
Tianlang-jun, just in general, is one of my favourite parts of Scum Villain. Like, he’s so… he’s my poor little meow meow. He is my scrungly. He literally falls apart and is just kind of like “Again? Dang.” A bunch of cultivators show up to thwart him and he’s like “I expected more of you.” He realizes that Shen Qingqiu, Zhuzhi-lang, and Luo Binghe were all in the same bed together and is like “Does Shen Qingqiu always need two others?” He walks in on that scene, only seeing Zhuzhi-lang and Shen Qingqiu, and says “Continue, please, don’t let me interrupt.” Finds out his wifey wasn’t apart of the plot to trap him under the mountain and even tried to save him and immediately melts like the marshmallow-hearted maiden he is.
Pre-trapped-under-a-mountain Tianlang-jun is a treat too. Finds his nephew and immediately says “You’re so ugly. Have a bunch of soldiers and land. Bye.” Meets Su Xiyan and becomes insufferable. “Zhuzhi-lang, am I ugly? Zhuzhi-lang, don’t you think my face is worth more than two silver pieces? Zhuzhi-lang, human women are so different than what I’ve read. Zhuzhi-lang, be honest, am I obnoxious?” He literally tries to barter over how attractive his face is and is legitimately pleased when Su Xiyan says it’s worth a gold coin. Zhuzhi-lang describes him as being the sugar baby and Su Xiyan being his sugar daddy, but Tianlang-jun not only doesn’t mind, he even seems to enjoy it. Zhuzhi-lang describes him as a pure-hearted maiden falling for a roguish cultivator. Zhuzhi-lang has the terrible realization that, in his own metaphor, he’s the handmaiden who follows her innocent lady around trying to keep her out of trouble.
My favourite part will always be the reveal though. The reveal that, after a whole novel dreading it, Luo Binghe is the antagonist. Luo Binghe purposefully led these cultivators and monks and priests to Tianlang-jun and let them all think Tianlang-jun was the one fuelling Xin Mo. Tianlang-jun says “I can’t even fuel Zhuzhi-lang’s human form, how could I fuel Xin Mo?” and everyone feels like they were thrust under cold water. Luo Binghe stands there and smiles and adjusts his sleeves and doesn’t care because none of these cultivators can touch him, most of them were taken out during the fight with Tianlang-jun, and Luo Binghe has basically already won.
He says that he hates Shen Qingqiu choosing others over him. Shen Qingqiu always chooses someone or something else. Shen Qingqiu always leaves when he asks him to stay. Luo Binnghe says that he’s going to make sure Shen Qingqiu has no other choice. If Luo Binghe isn’t his first choice, then Binghe will become his only choice. He’s willing to destroy the human realm and the demon realm both so that Shen Qingqiu will only be able to choose him.
One of the monks is like “That’s kind of fucked up. You’re just going to make him hate you.”
Luo Binghe: “Shizun can hate me all he wants, as long as he never leaves. And he won’t be able to leave.”
Luo Binghe is the ultimate villain. He is literally unstoppable. He is almost totally unkillable. He’s the final boss, but he’s a boss who’s always scripted to win. He’s more powerful than all of them combined and he’s gone actually insane because he can’t control Xin Mo. Xin Mo is feeding all his insecurities and Luo Binhe decided that the cure was to tie Shen Qingqiu to him with a leash too tight to escape.
He is absolutely terrifying, in this moment. He’s insane. He’s outright telling everyone that he’s destroying everything they love because if he doesn’t, Shen Qingqiu might choose one of them over him.
He’s - so - cool!
Luo Binghe is always cool, he’s so badass, but this moment just cements how absolutely unhinged he is!! He is insane!! He is manipulative and silver-tongued and adaptable!! He is grabbing the narrative with both hands and forcing it to be the way he wants it to be! He’s so cool, he’s so very cool, and I get chills when I read this part, he’s too cool!!
And I’ve already made a long post about how meaningful it is that Shen Qingqiu ultimately does choose Luo Binghe. Even out of a world-ending event, he still chooses Luo Binghe. Shen Qingqiu only didn’t choose him before because he didn’t know that was an option. For the rest of the novel and all the extras that take place post-canon, he seeks out Binghe. He’s the sticky one.
He says he hurt Luo Binghe’s feelings by saying he didn’t want to sleep in his bed and he’s upset because he was going to give in if Binghe just pushed a bit further! He thinks Binghe is in danger and takes him to Qing Jing Peak and tells everyone not to bully him and tells Luo Binghe that he can beat up the Bai Zhan Peak disciples as much as he wants, as long as they don’t die. He patches him up and just generally sticks to him. In the extra where Binghe shrinks, he takes baby Binghe everywhere. He holds his hand and he’s obsessed with how cute he is and he can’t get over how cute he is and he wants to show off to everyone else how cute he is. He’s having the time of his life, and only gets upset when everyone thinks baby Binghe is his child because Luo Binghe is at least eight, when would he have had him? And he’s a man, that too.
(Ming Fan: “I just assumed Luo Binghe was a demon and demons could do what they wanted.”)
Shen Qingqiu travels everywhere with Binghe and teases Binghe and likes admiring Binghe because Binghe is so handsome and charming and wonderful and-
The succubus extra where he goes to a succubus’ cave with Liu Qingge and is too flustered to look at the naked women everywhere and is very impressed by Liu Qingge’s disinterest in all of them. Gets his fortune read because he thought it might be fun and is like “…yeah, okay, sure, like this is true” and it turns out to be completely true. Thinks Madam Meiyin is weird because she never even officially joined Binghe’s harem, what a weirdo, who wouldn’t want to join Binghe’s harem? Pushes Liu Qingge into a pond to help him get over sex pollen.
Shen Qingqiu is such a madlad. He transmigrates and is like “I’m not going to be stupid and panic and make everyone suspicious of me 🙄” then becomes the most suspicious man on the planet by treating his martial siblings and disciples slightly better than dirt. He’s as obsessed with Luo Binghe as Binghe is with him, but pretends (poorly) that he isn’t. Agrees to do what Binghe wants to do while admitting that Binghe is definitely manipulating him, but Binghe is so cute, how can he say no? Thinks his little white lotus disciple is as pure as a maiden while Luo Binghe is over there desperately trying not to get a boner.
Shen Qingqiu never figures out that Luo Binghe messed up excersizes on purpose as an excuse to cling to him. It doesn’t even cross his mind. He thinks Luo Binghe was just clumsy. He thinks it’s a bit weird, since Luo Binghe is so good as everything else, but figures it’s just something Binghe was going through. Literally never crosses his mind that it was purposeful. Doesn’t even pop up as an option. He remains completely oblivious to that, even after Luo Binghe literally tells him he’s been horny for him since he was a disciple. Shen Qingqiu just does not realize.
I also really like MoShang, I promise, I find their dynamic to be honestly quite sweet, especially since Mobei-jun is just a spoiled princess who isn’t used to having to ask for what he wants. Luo Binghe and Mobei-jun respect each other and might even be a bit fond of each other, but good God, Mobei-jun, do not give me romantic advice, I swear. Shang Qinghua is constantly like “Cucumber-bro is so stupid, how can he not notice Binghe’s feelings?” and Mobei-jun is behind him slowly counting to five thousand in an attempt not to punch anymore holes through the walls. Great dynamic, 10/10, at least Shen Qingqiu eventually realizes that Binghe’s into him, Shang Qinghua doesn’t get the hint.
I like Yue Qingyuan being like “My sword is my life. Quite literally, it is my life. Accidentally combined my life force in my sword, whoops, now I lose a few years everytime I pull my sword out ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯”
Qi Qingqi is constantly like “Shen Qingqiu, the most annoying man I know. I would sell him for a half-eaten, unsalted tortilla chip. I hate this man’s guts. He is staring at my darling prized disciple but not even in a horny way. He is obsessed with Luo Binghe and never stops bragging about him. He acts like he’s delicate just to get out of having to ride a horse. He’s so lame, so cringe, a loser, the worst.” And near the end she’s like “I guess Shen-shixiong isn’t actually the absolute worst man ever- What do you mean he chose to date the heavenly demon disciple who not only caused him to die, but also threatened to destroy the entire world and everyone on it?! Shen Qingqiu is the stupidest piece of shit man I swear I’m going to murder him with my bare hands and no body will blame me, they’ll probably thank me-“
Mu Qingfang: “Shen-shixiong is being… kind to me? Shen-shixiong… smiled? Shen-shixiong is… being the most reckless man alive, oh no, Shen-shixiong, no!”
Liu Qingge, hanging up pictures of Shen Qingqiu: “I hate Shen Qingqiu.”
All of Luo Binghe’s wives are in sorry states. Well, all of them aside from Ning Yingying, who is living her best life as number two Shizun supporter (number one is Luo Binghe), and Liu Mingyan, who is also living her best life, but by writing porn about her brother’s closest (read: only) friend and a demon. Sha Hualing is in constant suffering because Luo Binghe is a tyrant and also had the gall to ask her for advice on getting into another man’s pants. The Little Palace Mistress was certainly very rude, but Luo Binghe threw her emotional support whip into acid. That’s a bit rude. The others are either dead or Luo Binghe just never notices him because he’s too distracted trying to woo Shen Qingqiu.
Ning Yingying and Liu Mingyan got off lucky. Ning Yingying, especially, really drew the luckiest lot. She went from an airhead who accidentally said things that got her buddy in trouble to a talented cultivator who purposefully says things that get her into fights. Love her picking fights with anyone who badmouths her Shizun. She tried so hard to share the number 1 Shizun fan spot with Luo Binghe, but probably decided that she didn’t want to die and backed off. She apologizes to Luo Binghe because she knows he likes to be the only one to clean Shen Qingqiu’s house. The bestest girl.
Speaking of Bing-ge, I love him. That should be obvious (I wrote a whole fic just to let him be happy) but I really like him. I like when he says “Is this about last time we met? It was on me, Shizun, I swear…” like he didn’t rip Shen Qingqiu’s arm off. I like when he’s fucking pissed that he’s losing and furious that it’s to this weaker, insignificant version of himself who is happy and in love and Shen Qingqiu cares about him and he got to taste that, just briefly, just barely he got to taste how it felt to be loved by Shen Qingqiu, only for a day, he got to feel an ounce of the easy affection and love that didn’t have to lead to sex and that was protective of him instead of expecting him to be protective of them. Shen Qingqiu didn’t expect him to be the strong one, didn’t expect him to be the powerful demon lord, had no expectations at all aside from expecting affection.
And he says “Come with me” like he’s begging for it. He doesn’t understand. He feels like it’s unfair that he didn’t get a loving Shizun. He wants that love. He wants to be chosen. And, ultimately, he leaves, but it just left an impact on me. The way he expected to find a catch but only found that Shen Qingqiu was willing to die for him.
Anyway, all that said, Scum Villain’s pretty okay. I only lie awake thinking about it occasionally. It’s alright.
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daycourtofficial · 11 months ago
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Freaky Friday
Summary: based on this request - you and Azriel swap bodies, chaos ensues.
Warnings: allusions to sex.
Author’s note: this is just a silly goofy time for my silly goofy geese. Is this my best work? No. But it’s fun and goofy and who cares
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You wake with a groan, your muscles feeling incredibly stiff and heavy. You drag yourself to the bathroom, eyes half closed with sleep.
Everything feels wrong. Your body feels so, so heavy as you open the door to the bathroom. You run some water, splashing it on your face as some fae lights come on.
You sigh, the water making you feel a little more alert. You shut the water off, bracing your hands on the sink, thinking about the mission from yesterday.
It wasn’t this bad - you really didn’t have to do all that much. You and Azriel spoke to a witch for cauldron’s sake - it was more of a test of your mental sparring than anything.
You brace yourself against the sink, remembering the nasty cut on your face. Right now you can’t even feel it, but you should still check on it, make sure it’s healing properly.
You look into the mirror, prepared to see a nasty gash across your face.
Instead you’re met with hazel eyes, tan skin, and onyx hair that are not your own.
And you scream. A deep, bellowing scream.
A moment later the door is shoved open, someone’s body making direct contact with it.
Rhys comes running in, having grabbed a knife on his way in, prepared for any threat that lingers. His violet eyes scan the room, searching for anything that can make his brother scream like that.
You turn to face Rhys, the weight of Azriel’s wings bringing you down. You’re able to look him eye to eye, the height of difference between you and Azriel making Rhys seem much smaller than he used to.
“Az?” Rhys ask, “what’s wrong?”
“I’m not Azriel.”
Moments later you find yourself in Rhysand’s office, not sure what to do with yourself as you try to sit on the couch, the large wings behind you making it hard to sit comfortably.
You accidentally sit on the end of a wing, yelping at the sensation and get up, delicately holding the wing so you can sit.
“Tell me everything that happened on your mission,” Rhys said, and you did. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary and everything went fine.
The two of you looked at each other, and Rhys decides to call Azriel and Cassian into his office to see if he can figure out what happened.
-
Cassian pats you on the head as he walks past you, much like he always does. You were much shorter than everyone else, not as short as Amren, but still quite small comparatively.
Then again, Cassian hardly ever met anyone he could look in the eye and not have to crane his neck to make eye contact.
It was your thing - he patted your head, you swatted his hand away, but that was it.
Until this morning, when you whirled around and landed a punch right on his jaw, taking the moment of deflection to grab his arm and flip him onto the ground.
He held his jaw in his hand, your name on his tongue. “What the hell was that for?”
You looked down at him, but Rhys’s voice breaks through both of your minds.
Come to my office please.
-
Cassian laughed. And laughed. And laughed.
Then he looked at the two of you, and laughed some more. You two sat next to each other on the couch in Rhys’s office, but so unsure of how to hold yourselves. His brother looked unable to hold up his own wings, and you looked so lost and alone, likely due to the loss of the shadows.
Feyre had joined the impromptu meeting in Rhys’s office, where no one could figure out why this had happened. And Cassian was certainly not helping things.
“Look I’m just saying if I swapped bodies with someone I’d fuck myself.”
“Cassian,” Feyre hissed, nodding her head to the door.
“Okay, okay,” he says, walking towards it. “I’ll go.”
Cassian leaves the room, but his laugh can still be heard down the hallway.
“Are the two of you going to be okay?” Rhys asks, looking over the both of you. You shrug, knowing there’s not really anything else you can do, meanwhile Azriel nods.
The two of you were taken away from your duties for the time being, which was probably for the best seeing as how you have no idea how anyone manages to hold their wings off of the ground and walk at the same time.
You were going bonkers in Azriel’s body.The shadows had no idea you weren’t their master, so they kept telling you everything. You had no control over them, so a good portion of them kept wandering over to Azriel stuck in your body. Their presence seemed to soothe him, and you wonder just how alone he feels without them.
You could hardly walk without dropping the massive wings behind you on the floor, so you mostly opted to stayed seated or lying down for the rest of the afternoon, staying in the library trying to figure out how you woke up in Azriel’s body.
You walk past Nesta on your way to dinner, the hulking mass you’re carrying around needing much more food than you were used to. You had the house give you an ungodsly amount of food during the afternoon, from snacks to fruits to nuts. You go to walk by, unaccustomed to the new body and slam into her, apologizing profusely.
She looks you up and down smirking, and you realize that everyone likely found this situation much funnier than you did.
Azriel came up to dinner not long after you did, and Cassian began making fun of you two again. Nyx turned to his mom, clearly confused about his Uncle Cassian’s jokes, when she explains to Nyx that the two of you had swapped bodies.
Nyx clapped his hands, the little princeling quite pleased with this turn of events.
“My wish came true!”
Everyone stops what they’re doing, utensils clattering on plates.
“Er what wish, sweetheart?” Feyre asks, her full attention on her son.
“I wanted them to switch bodies!”
Cassian bursts out laughing, throwing his head back as Nesta swats him on the chest.
Rhys is trying not to laugh at the predicament his son has created as he asks, “and why is that, Nyx?”
Nyx looks at you as Azriel and says, “she told me she wanted wings like Uncle Az’s so when we went to the fountain I wished she could do it!”
Cassian looks at Mor, asking, “so wishes actually come true from that fountain?”
After dinner you find yourself standing next to Cassian, looking him in the eye. You never realized that Azriel was a few inches shorter than Cassian. Cassian looked at you, watching as you move around, unable to stand still and he knows it’s you and not his brother.
“What are you doing, sweetheart?”
Nothing brought Cassian more joy than calling the shadowsinger ‘sweetheart’.
“It’s odd being this tall. I can look you in the eye just standing straight.”
The shadows dart around you two, constantly whispering to you. You would be able to understand them if it weren’t for just how many of them were trying to talk to you.
You swat at them, but even more come back to you, some hitting you in the face.
Cassian laughs, clearly amused at this entire situation. Feyre had taken Nyx back to the fountain to make another wish right after dinner, a wish that everyone go back to their original bodies, but the rest of you were left to wait.
You head into Azriel’s room, leaving Cassian and his teasing remarks behind. You leave Azriel’s bedroom door open just a crack so he can slip in moments later, still in your body.
You run your hands through your hair - his hair, the length reminds you. You look at yourself, not used to this arrangement.
“So uh, this should wear off at some point, right?”
“Right.”
“This is erm weird.”
“Yes, yes it is.” Azriel says, leaning back on his bed. The air in the room shifts, and a sickly sweet smell overtakes the room.
You gasp, hitting Azriel’s - your - leg, “Az, we are stuck in each other’s bodies and you’re getting horny.”
He moves up to you, sitting in your lap. “I can’t help it - it’s your body. You’re so needy.”
His legs straddle your lap, and as he sits down he lets out a quiet moan. You lean closer to him, smelling him, “oh gods, you reek of sex!”
A light blush coats his - your - cheeks, and he responds, “well if I’m stuck in your body, might as well enjoy the company.”
You roll your eyes at him and he starts grinding on your lap, “okay, I-I get it now why you like this so much.”
You laugh at him, as you begin to feel your own arousal in a way that is new.
The two of you spend the night tangled in Azriel’s sheets, exploring this jewel reality you’ve found yourselves in.
-
You woke up in your own body, thank the mother, and the two of you go to Rhys’s office to find Rhys, Feyre and Cassian already in there.
They all peer at you, the unspoken question in their gazes.
You beam at them, “I am myself again.”
Azriel huffs, “I’m glad I can actually reach things again.”
You pout, hitting him on the arm, “hey, it could have been worse. You could have been stuck in some ugly person’s body.”
“Yeah, like Cassian.”
You two chuckle as Cassian’s face gets an irritated look on it.
You and Azriel leave the room, and Feyre turns to Cassian.
“Do you think they had sex last night?”
Rhys turns to Feyre, “there is no way they didn’t. They’ve been sneaking around for months.”
Feyre gasps, “no they have not!”
The two bicker back and forth over whether or not the two of you have been hooking up, and Cassian is uncharacteristically quiet.
“Did you hear anything, Cass?”
Cassian is brought back to the present, telling them he hadn’t heard anything. Truthfully, he knew you two were sneaking around, but he kept it to himself, worried the teasing might mess things up for you two.
You and Az skip off down the hall, both of you going into your room to explore all the things you found out about each other, and Cassian laughs lightly to himself, thinking about all the ways he’ll tease the two of you.
But that’s for another day. Another day when he feels like his brother’s insecurities won’t eat him alive. Another day when his brother will feel like he deserves you.
Another day.
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nyursi · 1 year ago
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𝐃𝐄𝐁𝐀𝐔𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐘!
꒰ † ੭‎ㅤNSFW 18+ㅤ(MDNI)...  oliver never thought that arriving at saltburn would leave a much more deep and sinister ache in his bones. and it's all because of you. felix is no better.ㅤノㅤnot proofread.
ᡴꪫ‎ TODAY'S SPECIAL!ㅤfelix catton, oliver quick.
WOULD YOU LIKE SPRINKLES? (っω=`)ㅤm!rdr, no spoilers surprisingly, weird stuff cause its oliver (but felix is weird too), wet dreams, stealing underwear, drugging, groping, somnophilia.
                 ㅤ ⏝꒷۰꒷⏝꒷۰꒷⏝꒷۰꒷⏝
It was alluring, really. Who could say no to the gorgeous stone walls of the castle? With its very own glamorous inhabitants to match as well. Saltburn practically begged Oliver to come and take it all for himself.
And who was he to deny that call?
Felix Catton too, bore the same charisma. The boy always had everyones eyes on him, no matter the place or time. There was just something about him that grabbed all the attention.
Like a magnet, attracting all the girls and boys to present themselves just to gain a spot in Felix's long list of night stands.
So when Felix so graciously offered for Oliver to spend the summer with him, how could he say no?
He felt so fulfilled, seeing the extravagant hallways, walls lined with all the odd things they had, and the majestic carpets complementing the floor. But nothing ever compared to the feeling that hit him like a truck when he met you.
It was unexpected. There was a quick panic that you, of all people, would ruin his plans, to conquer the estate and banish all the Catton's from existence. I mean, who were you? A relative? Close friend? Surely someone important enough for Elspeth and Sir James to let you stay.
"This is my friend," Felix introduced, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, having noticed the tension between you two. Despite the awkwardness filling the air; you excitedly held out your hand for Oliver to shake. "How come I've never seen you around?" He asked.
You shrugged, "I don't go to Oxford."
Oliver must've not realized how tight his grip had been on your hand, not until you struggled to pull away. Felix smirked in amusement. "Now now, play nice Oliver. He's fragile, and I'd prefer my little friend to be in good condition at all times."
"Felix!" You groaned, nudging against his chest. Rolling your eyes playfully, you shook your head and looked to Oliver. "Don't listen to him, roughhouse all you want." The sweet smile reached your eyes, but the words that accompanied it were venomous. "He did it all the time when we were little. Actually, he still does."
Oh. So you two were close.
He didn't know why, but it left a rather bitter taste in his mouth. Was it because you were close with Felix? Or because Felix was close with you?
Either way, Oliver quickly realized that it just made sense for both of you to be friends. You were a warm light that drew everyone closer, huddling for the warmth you gave so generously. With your attractive physique to accompany such a bright personality made Oliver's heart flutter in a way that made him unsure. (Not to mention that cute boyish smile you had on your face nearly 24/7.)
Had you attended Oxford too— he was sure you and Felix would be a duo no one could forget. A package deal, he'd say.
Oliver found it uncomfortable how quick you were able to get on his good side. You were just so... likeable. In a way that whenever you and Felix would mess around, he found it endearing.
Two utterly perfect boys with the most perfect relationship. Everyone in Oxford would kill to be you.
But Oliver would kill to take Felix's place.
And that thought shocked him; Oliver never thought there would ever be someone else to hold on pedestal, higher than the throne Felix sat on. Because he wanted that closeness, the intimacy of your so called friendship, your very being down to your bones.
He was desperate to have your attention, to join in your silly little inside jokes that Oliver could never understand, to be the reason of your giggles and reddened cheeks from laughter, how your chest heaved with every intense howl deep from your chest, not Felix.
It's not like he didn't notice Felix's unwavering affection towards you. It almost made Oliver chuckle out loud, the first time he found out how enamored Felix was with the boy he wanted to get rid of.
He didn't know he'd too, join the bandwagon of steadfast interest towards Felix's friend. (Boy toy, Oliver wanted to say. But with how platonic you are with him, he doubts the godsend Felix ever had a chance to devour you.)
No worries, Oliver will just take things in his own hands. He'll handle these pressing matters, like how he always has and always will. It's just in his nature. He may never be the strongest, or most attractive in the room, but he sure is the smartest.
Hell— he's definitely the most intelligent amongst those in Saltburn. That's for sure.
You were just incredibly dumb. Gullible, naive— too trusting. Too ready to welcome the outsider Oliver Quick within the estate, who looked like he was attempting to take and seal away Felix from ever seeing you again.
Did you really not feel their burning gazes on your body? Whenever you donned the awfully tight swim shorts at the pond; neither could pull away their eyes because of how it hugged your frame. Showing off the curve of your hips and your behind, displaying a waist that they wanted to grab so badly, and thighs that could be stared at for days.
The exposed skin glistening with water under the burning sun, messy wet hair that clung to your forehead. Plump red lips that encased a popsicle, suckling and even poking your tongue out to lick your fingers when the melted treat slowly dribbled down them.
Perhaps you did know, and this was your own way of teasing them for a stunt they pulled a few nights before. Revenge.
That night, when you wore such careless attire, one that consisted of a large shirt that practically engulfed your frame (one that Oliver knew to be Felix's), and the sinful boxers that held your prick just behind the fabric, Oliver took a trip to the laundry room.
Imagine his shock when he found Felix Catton digging through your laundry basket that held the same boxers from the night before.
A solidarity formed between them that night. A relationship deeper than before. Oliver was just as in love with you as Felix was.
But it killed them to see how oblivious you were with their intentions.
Weren't they trying hard enough?
It came to the point where they were desperate enough to consider drugs. Of all things. The family would all have dinner as usual, but a simple slip of an extra ingredient would be placed into your food.
"Are you alright, dear?" Elspeth asked, concerned from the other side of the table.
Felix quickly came to your rescue, standing up and dragging you to your bedroom. "He might be ill, we'll take care of him." He met eyes with Oliver, who didn't hesitate to join his side. "I'll see to it that he recovers smoothly." And without a second thought, they both left to carry you to Felix's bedroom.
You groaned, the pounding in your skull too much to handle. But Felix talked you through it all the way. Legs too weak to get up the stairs? No worries, they've got that covered. Neither complained when they're able to get this close to your warm body.
"Atta boy," Felix praised, slowly lowering you on his bed. Oliver placed the back of his hand to your forehead, wincing at its temperature.
"That's not a side effect, is it?" Their motives were ultimately changed when you kept writhing on the bed, uncomfortable at the heat and ache throughout your body. You felt sick. This was not part of the plan.
Felix scoffed. "Of course not." He turned to you, frowning when you sobbed. "We'll just... change plans."
There was no doubt to it. Your current state was not to their liking to continue their original ideas, and its not like it was helping with their... guilt. Thinking back on it, they've realized that their original plan was rather unsavory.
It made them look like hypocrites.
After all, they've been wanting and needing you to dream of them as well. Countless nights spent under the sheets behind the safety of their doors, jacking off and wishing it was your hole around their cocks, not their fists.
The wet dreams of you being so good for them, taking them all at once— or the times when they peaked through the bathroom door to watch you showering, and purposefully breaking your doorknob so they can barge in your room whilst you were getting dressed, those they could play off.
But to take you, unsolicited whilst your mind was hazy, was against all their fantasies. They wanted you to want them the same way. With the same desperation, the same debauchery.
So they let you be for now.
The late night fantasies that constantly replayed in their head would be enough. For your sake. Because if they allowed the strong, primal urge to pounce and take you as you were; the bed is where you'd live.
But it doesn't mean the urge was gone.
Oh no, it was very much still there.
So when your soft snores reached their ears, they wasted no time to climb under the sheets, with you between their aching bodies. And no matter how hard they tried to shoo away the dark thoughts nagging at the back of their heads, it still found a way to hypontize them.
It was a golden opportunity. You were sick, yes. But you were still drugged. Fast asleep. Deep into dreamland. How could they pass it up?
Oliver bit his lip and maintained eye contact with Felix. What were they to do? Felix stayed in deep contemplation, but was quickly surprised when Oliver made the first move.
He quickly raised your shirt up to your collarbone, breath stuck in his throat when he was met with your nipples. Oliver traced your chest with his finger, featherlight as he felt your soft skin for the first time.
And shit, did it feel great.
Felix on the other hand, took a more bold approach. Kissing at your nape while massaging his hand down your spine, towards your waistband. He tugged at first, but eventually settled on sneaking his palm beneath your boxers to feel the sweet mounds of flesh he's been dreaming of.
They groped and touched, feeling up every inch of you. No nook or cranny was left un-corrupted by their sinful hands. Slowly, their cocks hardened and they threw away all rational thoughts (Though there were none to begin with, really. Did anyone think rationally when they were in your presence?) Beginning to hump and palm at your own crotch.
Your drowsy whines and hums brought them closer to release. Even in your sleep you managed to be oblivious, unknowing to the dirty acts they commit. Hips bucking and stuttering, breath hitching, the creaking of the bed.
Whispered cussing and lip biting, red marks littered across your skin with their harsh grabbing. It was only after they reached their peak had all your breaths labored, you probably just thought it was a really good dream.
Oliver and Felix began to feel their eyelids get heavy. Even if they didn't get what they originally wanted, at least they got a taste of it. And fuck did they want more.
But no matter, there was always next time.
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vanillaclaws 2024.ㅤdo not repost.
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cherry-pop-elf · 2 months ago
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Mouthwashing Actor AU
Jimmy: Jimmy Ray (a nod to him being named after a Lana Del Ray Song) Is a type cast where he’s the sweetest person to ever exist, but is extremely good at playing Villians. It be like that in the horror industry. He won’t lie though. Playing a role like this was his biggest challenge, as he would need to get into the head of a You Know What.
Curly: Curly Ray, aka Jimmy’s older brother. He was born Amelia (aka his limbs were never fully developed) and is often type casted to play monsters or characters that require a certain mobility. Much like how child/people will dwarfism play certain characters. He’s happy that he gets to play a normal person, even for a short while. (That would be explaining why we get very little screen time of Curly looking normal)
Anya: Anya Ray. She was originally Jimmy’s wife, but it was a case of lavender marriage. She needed to stay in the states to finish her schooling and he was terrified of coming out as gay. Fortunately Jimmy found his one true love and Anya ended up marrying Curly as they had bonded so much through the traumatic situation. She is a credited doctor who uses her knowledge to help make the medical scenes more real. Along with fellow actress. New to acting but not the acting society.
Daisuke: Daisuke Ray. Daisuke is the one who Jimmy fell for. He was a special effects/makeup artist (who specialized in horror) that was pretty much part of the team because of often working on whatever madness Curly would get dressed up as. He wasn’t originally meant to play a role in the show, but the director saw that all of them were extremely close and found it very important to have to convey real emotions and a sense of reality. So this is Daisukes first role, and by proxy he is rather hard to get into a serious mindset. It works in the end as his sweet and playful silly attitude leads to plenty of improve that conveys realism the director wants.
Swansea: Director Swan. He’s the one in charge of it all, and plays a role as well. More so as the background character (hence why we have more fleshing from everyone else compared to him) and wanted to convey an important and serious story. He’s a semi retired director, so he uses his time to make passion projects. That means he has more ability to follow what HE wants and not get swayed by other people’s PG needs. He saw how these four specific actors/special effects artists were already very close and it brought him the motivation to follow through on this latest passion project. Hence why they all use their real first names. A means to really hammer in this is a real story, with in its sci-fi elements.
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