#he knows wynne I think. that feels right to me

[dykebeckett]

gallifrey dragon age au- [i am humanely euthanized for the good of society]

[sylvaridreams]

Inhales. You know what gets me when I think about Heart of Thorns. The anti-sylvari sentiment in-universe was SO real for a while there. During the period of time where the whole world of Tyria learned the secret that Wynne had died to protect, that sylvari came from the jungle dragon, that they were made to serve it. Everyone turned on them. Friends, lovers, commanding officers, it didn't matter anymore. They COULD turn mordrem at any time, so you had to assume that they would. You couldn't trust something that belonged to a dragon. Even Laranthir (of the Wild) right after the crash, being held captive by his own people, waiting for him to go feral and tear their throats out. The sylvari Commander was granted a little wiggle room, a little space to walk around freely, but it's all very conditional. Prove you're a good one, that you won't fall to the dragon. There's the event in Verdant Brink where they round up all the sylvari in a camp and ask you to interrogate them, to break them down until they confess to being mordrem. And inevitably a few of them are hiding among the camp, but an equal number of sylvari run from you in fear, more afraid of you and the Pact than the certain death of the jungle beyond. The other innocents that stay don't have a choice. It's keep your head down and don't say anything or be killed, one way or another, while the Commander that you've worked under for the past couple of years interrogates a crying novice, asking if they've heard a voice. And who hasn't heard the voice at that point? The Commander admits to hearing it too. Canach likens it to a buzzing fly. Irritating. Nothing more. Strong willed sylvari don't stumble when Mordremoth speaks. But even that's not true; maybe not everyone's played Heart of Thorns on a sylvari Commander, but the closer you get to the dragon, you start to falter, to black out and lose time. In its domain you actually do fall to it. Briefly. Just for a while, you forget who you are and what you're doing there, and mordrem start giving you killing orders. And you snap out of it and never tell anyone, never. They can't know how close you got.

But what GETS ME is that after the dragon is dead, no one talks about it. It all returns to normal. Like the tension was never there in the first place. I'm sure there might be some loaded quips about sylvari in Living World Season 3 right after, but the next time I actually can recall it coming up is in Path of Fire. Right as you get into Desert Highlands; Canach says something about "I always knew this whole human/gods arrangement wouldn't work out" and Kasmeer shoots back "This coming from someone with a DRAGON in their family tree." And that's that. No one actually really discusses it in-game. They all moved on and don't care if you're a dragon minion or not.

Which. Augh. WHAT!!!!! NO ONE CARES? I'm sure it's a better end-user experience than if everyone you encountered as a sylvari player was like "OOOOOH I DON'T TRUST YOUR TYPE... YOU WRETCHED DRAGON PLANT FOLK" but narratively it's a little boring. At least in the sense that it doesn't feel finished. There should still be tons of anti-sylvari sentiment in Tyria and propaganda spread to force them out of parts of society and stupid hoops to jump through to be considered safe. Just as I think that sylvari should still hold anti-asura sentiment--you're telling me their small second generation had a huge group taken away and tortured to death and there's no ingrained fear of it happening again? I want my sylvari commander to have met Gorrik in LWS4 and been like haha. uh. 😥 (do I really have to work with this guy. An inquest...) (and EVENTUALLY come to like and trust him!) instead of the game plowing over it like oh yeah don't worry about it n_n the facility exploded and all so he doesn't work there now don't worry n_n NO I'M WORRIED!-- again I'm sure that the smoothing over of Everything is a better end-user experience. rather than everyone you meet being rude to you or vice versa. However----💥 (I am killed by a sniper from a long distance so that I stop talking before I begin delving into the prejudices that are already baked into the narrative)

[deathvalleyqueen]

listen no matter how convinced in my bones it was Illario that betrayed our beautiful mullet man, it could be someone else. Maybe but really logically think about this. Who within the Crows would gain the most with Lucanis gone? Not emotionally - I am talking about position and power. Illario. Viago and/or Teia potentially but from what we have seen them already through the expanded media - they are so much lower on my suspect list. Honestly, Viago ain't even on it - if he really wants to bruh could become King of Antiva but that's whole different theory I have. Teia could, but she has never given me vibes of someone with a level of ambition for power that you would need to betray someone close to you like this and she calls Catarina 'Nona' so I am guessing she was close with the whole Dellamorte family. Illario though - from the wigmakers job to the scenes we have seen with him - he reeks of ambition. For all we know a rivalry could have been ingrained him by his parents when he was small - maybe Illario's parent and Lucanis's parent who were siblings were bitter rivals both grasping at the positon of their mother's heir - maybe there is more for us to find out why Catarina ended up raising both boys... I even think I remember one of the Devs mention we will learn more about Lucanis's parents in later parts of the game.

This isn't a new thought of mine. Honestly since the Wigmakers Job -I didn't trust Illario. The whole heir talk never sat right with me. Lucanis is either named heir or would be named Catarina's very shortly. While Lucanis doesn't want the position (and my guess the neon target on his back that comes with it) of First Talon, he would take it if that's what his grandmother wants (Wigmakers Job) even though Lucanis thinks Illario maybe is better suited for the position. But like the good Antivan Boy Lucanis is - if his Nona asks him - he will. Illario on the other hand seems to want this more than anything else. To me the whole 'who is heir' thing reads sooooo a Game of Thrones in my mind - it just gives me such strong Targaryen infighting energy.

Also Illario while he has a very handsome face - it just gives me "don't fucking trust him" energy. Also from the recruitment mission video (maybe mild spoilers here) but that man is putting on act - he sounds way more upset than I think would be called for given the fact Lucanis is very likely alive now, there is this anger in his voice that feels out of place. Would you not be excited to find out your beloved cousin who was more brother to you - is in fact - not fucking dead? I also think the fact he doesn't go with Rook on the rescue - is so telling. The excuse made - super lame and I don't think it's bad writing. I think it's breadcrumbs and foreshadowing. And what has honestly been said about the Crow related questline - we are going to see the politics of it all...

Lastly - Why Spite? Wynn was a Spirit of Faith and she in fact had been a woman who believed in what the Circle was doing - Faith makes sense. Justice with Anders - makes so much sense because of who he is and what he experienced. Compassion for Cole also makes sense if you read Asunder. So why was Spite of all things able to be bound to Lucanis? They had tried others but Spite is what took. I think it's connected to the person who betrayed him, put him in the position that he was in for year... that whatever Love he may have had for that person turned into Spite... get what I am throwing down.

IDK this is living in my head in a nice 4 bedroom condo rent free right now.

[berryyjello]

Heyyyyy do you have a ref for your wynn character? I like seeing what people come up with for their wynn ocs and i think your lil fella is interesting 👀

bit of a rushed ref but HUZZAH!!!! MY LITTLE GOOBER!!!! I dont know Much of the backstory for the MC just yet so a lot of things are gonna change, but for now what i have is:

me and my friends love to joke i'm "in every universe" so W!Mika's archetype is Rift Walker cause. he's walking through time rifts.

His hair has Magical Burns due to the memory rehabilitation done in Fruma before he went to Ragni (at least thats what i THINK happened to him, idk just yet

At least until Recover The Past, him Tasim and Aledar were all very close, and somehow he convinced the other two to have matching braids with him! Now, if Tasim's braid will still be there by the time Mika sees him again, that is a great question

I told my friend to put something in W!Mika's design that i wouldn't understand until very later on, and they put the scar on his left eye, to which i made it into a "birthmark", my friend's wynn oc has very distressing thoughts about that

MASSIVE GOOF!!!! Cannot tell you the amount of times he got stuck somewhere he probably shouldn't be and wasted so many scrolls to save his skin 😭

He hates the feeling of losing soul points, so he tries not to die as much as possible, even if it means doing extra trainment

has a very odd fascination with Bob's life story, the last bit of info he's gotten so far was Nilrem's Sealed Letter, and in a less dramatic tone, was overjoyed to read Bob was, in fact, not straight. On a more serious tone, however, reading about what Nilrem did to protect both Bob and innocent people, had him very... disturbed, to say the least. He'd heard so many talk sbout "Bob's Tomb", only for it all to be fake? Something is not right.

OK IM VERY TRIED BUT UHHH FEEL FRRE TI ASK MORR STUFF I'M LISTENING VERY INTENTLY!!!!

[amourningcrow]

some thoughts on the lucanis romance. caution! spoilers

you know, i've seen a lot of people complaining about how lucanis's romance is somewhat lacking and i agree, at least a little - i can't say i enjoy the scene where you lock in his romance (could have been a banter) and i honestly didn't get that it was supposed to be a 'i'm scared of wanting you' kind of romance until the end where he actually said that (i was constantly sleep deprived while playing though, so maybe that one's on me) - but i don't really think more scenes were really necessary. i loved the last one and the one in the middle was also pretty good, even though i didn't like how scripted it was.

what i really, really miss in this are the party banters. you know, like the one with alistair and wynne, where she teases him about checking out the warden?

imagine for a moment: davrin and lucanis

'they're fine.'

'i- what?'

'they're fine. you keep staring at their legs, but the venatori barely even graced them. you can stop checking every time they climb up a rock or bend to pick something up.'

'of course! i was checking on their injury! that damn venatori, nearly got them, huh?'

... (awkward silence)

'right.'

oooor maybe taash and lucanis?

'you're not being subtle, you know'

'excuse me?'

'saw you sneaking in with rook's favourite food yesterday.'

'so? i make everyone's favourite every once in a while.'

'not in the middle of the night just after they tell you, you don't'

... (stony silence)

'yeah'

ooooor i dunno, harding and lucanis?

'lucanis?'

'hmmm?'

'it would be okay, you know. if you liked someone and told them how you feel. hypothetically.'

'what? what are you talking about?'

'nothing. i just... thought someone should tell you.'

'mierda, harding, there's no one like that. so this is completely irrelevant.'

'hmhm, sure. but in theory, if there was... i'm pretty sure they like you, too. and you both deserve to be happy.'

i'm obviously not a writer, but i really think some stuff like that would have helped to set up the romance more. i tried so desperately to look through the game and find something, and maybe i just haven't discovered it yet! but the few banters i did find were all after the relationship was officially established. i don't know. i'm really disappointed because i think the potential was there, it could have been such a sweet, angsty slow-burn but they just.. didn't set it up right? the yearning™ feeds on other people seeing exactly what is going on and rolling their eyes at the idiots involved not getting on with it (/getting it on lmao). maybe something like that was planned but they had to cut it because all the companions had to get their 'making it official' chat at the same time? and pretty late in the game, too. that would sort of explain why his relationship with neve was more fleshed out as well. idk. that and my added frustration that i can't really roleplay my rook the way i want (in my roleplaying game) probably means i'll just have to write some stuff myself. and wait for someone to search through the audio files so i can get my grubby raccoon hands on all the banter i didn't hear yet 🤞

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

The fact I have to use multiple headcanons for some characters to make them palatable is bullshit.

Sorry this is a 3am rant as I am doing nights and am the half awake type.

But this specifically is about Cullen Rutherford and how in canon he’s a bitch ass. And Oghren to actually. Also a bitch ass.

But these characters have so much damn potential I wanna SCREAM.

Cullen is a character who is set up to be a creep in the first game. He has a crush on one of his prisoners and when the tower is taken by magic and he is tormented we see him break. In DA2, he’s a magic hating asshole who stands up in the final second against his boss. In DAI he’s the commander who gives lip service to changing but hasn’t.

This entire saga has me going; BUT WHAT IF?!

I think I ranted about this before but Cullen in DA2 could have been so much cooler if we saw him slowly have a come to Andraste sort of story. In the beginning he’s running on his trauma. Hates magic. Can’t see mages as people because it means then people hurt him and he can’t do it.

But then he begins looking around. Maybe Meredith says something or he sees how his men flinch when he’s around. He begins actually seeing things in the Circle that kind of go: wait. The Ferelden Circle tower wasn’t as bad as Kirkwall. Not good no, but Kirkwall is hell.

Cullen seeing the trauma of a young girl being made tranquil. Seeing a Templar abuse her. Stepping in and then… Meredith does nothing. Denotes the man but doesn’t care. Cullen, who was at mercy of demons for days, who was taunted with an image of a woman he fancied himself in love with… he watches and can’t understand it.

He hears of the Tranquil solution. Hears someone whisper of Alrik after and he… he can’t. He can’t do that. Talks to Meredith who dismisses it. Whose insanity sparks in her eyes. Who talks of mages are vermin.

Cullen wonders if he was like that.

I want an actual damn redemption arch for Cullen, and I would love to explore more of ‘the Chantry abuses the Templars to’ with their purposeful forced addiction and how awful it is to come off it. Having Cullen see how Samson is, seeing him so sick… it should be a moment where we see this man truly question things.

Then DAI. I want Cullen to have earned his position. I want him to talk about how he knows he has biases due to the tower and the demons. I want him to tell the Herald ‘I sometimes relapse. Just tell me’

I still want a voice to argue for the Templars but I want Cullen to argue about Tevinter and that dealing with slavers is never wise. I want us to see Cullen terrified of magic and him having to combat the feelings.

I want Cullen to have a slow horrific retaliation of the Chantry as he comes off lyrium but still can use his Templar powers. I want him to choke it out, shaking, that he has been lied to.

I want an actual redemption and him truly trying to redeem himself. I headcanon it all the time when playing because it is the only way I can put up with him. Even then I only have romances him with a non-mage human, because I can’t see him able to do anything else.

Then OGHREN. I don’t know if I talked about this but his entire relationship with Felssi never interested me because it feels like he’s repeating Branka. They insult each other and she talks to him like dirt. Exploring the idea he left not because he didn’t want to be a dad/is a bad dad but because he recognized he was in the same damn cycle would have been so cool. Plus having him actually change.

In origins, have him stop drinking as much. Have him talking not about sex or being gross but have him holding intelligent conversations with Sten on battle tactics. Have him argue with Shale about dwarves. Have him discuss withdrawal with Wynne.

Then Awakenings. Like I said, I think the discussion that his relationship with Felssi is toxic on both sides would be fun. Have him confess he realized he was right back where he’d started, have him drinking again… I’m not saying blame everything on the woman. I am saying that toxic relationships are hard to break and the idea of Oghren honestly being at a loss when he realizes where he is would be so much fun.

This is a headcanon I built to be able to stand the man.

And the fact I have to do so makes me want to beg on bended knee to BioWare: please don’t do this to me in DA:D.

[tarotenvelhecida]

pick a card– which book speaks to your soul?

You read something which you thought only happened to you, and you discover that it happened 100 years ago to Dostoyevsky. This is a very great liberation for the suffering, struggling person, who always thinks that he is alone. This is why art is important.

—Conversations with James Baldwin.

this is my love letter to all the bookworms in the tarot community— pick a pile & i'll give you a list of genres + book suggestions carrying important messages to you.

I. THE FIRST

To the daydreamers and the escapists; to the ones that need to rest before following what you need follow.

RELEVANT GENRES & CONCEPTS– fiction in general; romance; fantasy; fairytale; poetry; ‘happy ever after’ endings; hopeful endings; fantasy; magic; dreamy.

AUTHORS – Ursula K. Le Guin; Louise Gluck; Mary Oliver; Jane Austen.

BOOKS FOR YOU–

‘The Paper Garden: An Artist Begins Her Life’s Work at 72 – Molly Peacock'

‘Good Bones – Maggie Smith’

‘If Not, Winter: Fragments of Sappho – Translation by Anne Carson’

‘Owls and Other Fantasies – Mary Oliver’

‘Dog Songs – Mary Oliver’

‘Emma – Jane Austen’

‘Howl’s Moving Castle – Diana Wynne Jones’

‘The Little Prince – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry’

‘Death Comes for the Archbishop – Willa Cather’

‘Sonnets from the Portuguese – Elizabeth Barrett Browning’

‘The Hawk and the Dove – Penelope Wilcock’

‘The Secret Life of the Lonely Doll: The Search for Dare Wright’

‘The Ink Dark Moon – Ono no Komachi & Izumi Shikibu’

‘Alice in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll’

‘The Letters of Vita Sackville-West and Virginia Woolf’

‘Little Women – Louisa May Alcott’

‘Anne of Green Gables – L.M. Montgomery’

‘Kissing the Witch: Old Tales in New Skins – Emma Donoghue’

II. THE SECOND

For the ones that carry the ache to learn and know everything; to the ones bored with life's commodities & seriousness. For the ones that question everything around them – as they should do.

You do not need to fit in. Don't change yourself for other people. If they want to see you this way, then become the proud witch in the edge of the woods.

RELEVANT GENRES & CONCEPTS– books on 'niche' knowledge; science; philosophy; true crime; drama; scandalous romances; adventure, magical realism; YA thriller & horror; comedy & sardonic comedy; ‘controversial’/'weird' books.

AUTHORS– Carmen Maria Machado, Kate Moore, Grady Hendrix.

BOOKS FOR YOU–

‘My Sister, The Serial Killer – Oyinkan Braithwaite'

‘The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat and Other Clinical Tales – Oliver Sacks'

‘St. Lucy’s Home for Girls Raised by Wolves – Karen Russell'

‘Spook: Science Tackles the Afterlife – Mary Roach’

‘The Hitchhiker Guide to Galaxy – Douglas Adams'

‘Inferno – Dante Alighieri'

'Magic for Beginners – Kelly Link'

‘Lace Bone Beast: Poems & Other Fairytales for Wicked Girls – N.L. Shompole'

‘Severed: A History of Heads Lost and Heads Found – Frances Larson’

'The Woman They Could Not Silence – Kate Moore'

‘The Dictionary of Lost Words – Pip Williams'

‘She Kills Me: The True Stories of History’s Deadliest Women – Jennifer Wright’

‘Anatomy: A Love Story – Dana Schwartz'

‘Pretty Dead Queens – Alexa Donne'

‘I’m Glad My Mom Died – Jennette McCurdy'

'Rabid: A Cultural History of the World's Most Diabolical Virus – Bill Wasik'

‘Chilling Adventures of Sabrina – Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa’

III. THE THIRD

You need to put your sadness somewhere. If you can't, remember that someone has done it before – and transformed it into a story. Let the words you'll read be the resting place for whatever you're feeling right now; let yourself remember that not even your pain is lonely in this world.

RELEVANT GENRES AND CONCEPTS— poetry; gothic horror; thrillers; murder mysteries; tragedies; cathartic stories; biographies.

AUTHORS– Shirley Jackson, Osamu Dazai, Clarice Lispector, Sylvia Plath.

BOOKS FOR YOU—

'The Year of Magical Thinking – Joan Didion'

‘The Dead – James Joyce'

‘What The Living Do – Marie Howe'

‘The Hour of the Star – Clarice Lispector'

‘Why This World: A Biography of Clarice Lispector’

‘Some of Us Did Not Die – June Jordan'

Somewhere Towards the End – Diana Athill'

‘We Have Always Lived in The Castle – Shirley Jackson'

'Heaven: A Novel – Mieko Kawakami'

'Journal of a Solitude – May Sarton'

'Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte'

'Grief is the Thing with Feathers – Max Porter'

‘Carrie – Stephen King'

'Of Dogs and Walls – Yuko Tsushima'

'Frankenstein – Mary Shelley'

'The Stepping Off Place – Cameron Kelly'

'Letters to Milena – Franz Kafka'

‘Beloved – Toni Morrison'

[butterflydm]

In the continuing adventures of my Rook, I have met my last three companions, and also learned that the spoiler I accidentally ran across wasn't an endgame spoiler after all, yay!

As for those last three companions, Taash feels like a similar kind of "brash 19 year old" energy that we had from Sera in DAI; Emmerich is very polite and I like him; and Davrin is pretty aces so far (and Assan!! My baby!!! Rook can hug him sometimes!!!!).

Davrin needing to go from Assan's bodyguard to his primary nurturer has been very sweet. We've had a couple of good conversations about it.

As for the spoiler that I was worried about, I accidentally ran across a title about needing to choose between saving Treviso and Minrathous, and I was worried it would be an endgame choice but it was actually right after I recruited Davrin, so fairly close to where I stopped off in my last post. Didn't get spoiled too badly!

I really liked the effects of it! I chose Treviso, for a couple of reasons -- my Rook was more invested in that city due to Lucanis; and also they assumed that Minrathous had more resources to handle a dragon than Treviso did, given what they saw at the beginning of the game. The game taking Neve away for two main story missions in order to help clean up the city afterwards, and 'hardening' her character in ways that had gameplay effects is very cool! Poor Neve! She's also the one who got injured in this game, because I took her along at the start, so she's having a rough time. I think I'm going to make my second Rook a Shadow Dragon to make sure I have enough personal investment in Minrathous to make sure I pick it over Treviso in my second run (I think I'll also go with my Inky who disliked Solas in that run, to see if it changes any dialogue or etc).

We saw Ghilan'nain when we went to Treviso (very effectively creepy, with the tentacles and all) so I wonder if we would have seen Elgar'nan if we'd gone to Minrathous instead.

I don't think I mentioned this last time, but Varric telling the framing story has been fun and ominous, lol. Every time I get a new companion, he's basically like "and then a new source of trouble snuck in behind them in their wake" lol. And I love the art that we get every time that it's Storytime with Varric.

Companion updates: the character who gets along best with Lucanis so far is Taash -- everyone else is creeped out by the demon aspect, but spirits are more integrated into Rivani culture, so she takes it in stride and even already had a conversation with Spite (and on a meta level, I love that 'Spite' literally kept Lucanis alive while he was imprisoned; embodiment of 'fuck you I won't do what you tell me to do'). But Bellara recently had a positive conversation with him too, so that could be a good sign.

Varric has even sorta warned Rook against getting too close to Lucanis (specifically because of the demon). He's having Anders flashbacks, I'm pretty sure lol. (too late. fairly certain I'm going to romance Lucanis. The only person who could maybe persuade me away is Davrin).

Bellara's hero worship of Neve in the early parts of the story was cute but I don't know if that'll have a chance to continue with Neve hardened by the story's events.

Loving exploring the regions and they really do feel so big. Definitely more 'gated' than DAI but that's not a bad thing. Areas open up when you do quests with people but then stay open afterwards so that you can go back to them, which I like.

I am also loving all the new explorations into the lore! The Crossroads and the Lighthouse make this spirit-loving girl feel great. Cole was one of my favorite companions in DAI, I romanced Anders in DA2, and I took Wynne everywhere with me in DAO because she was my healer, so I ALWAYS spend a lot of time with my spirit-based/possessed companion, lol (I also loved Justice in DAO: Awakening).

I love learning more about spirits and demons and the relationship between the two, because I've always found it interesting. (Haha, it really was A Moment when I found out that Wynne is apparently 49 in DAO; I thought she was in her eighties or something when I was playing the game, lol.)

On the mechanics side of things, I like the new version of upgrading gear, and DAV really cut down on collectables & fetch quests -- there's really only one 'collectables' quest and it has a solid and immediate impact (powering up the caretaker). I also like that the companions 'skill points' are based on their relationship with you and that they skill up as you get to know them better and get closer to them.

The fighting feels fairly fluid and intuitive playing as a rogue. I was finding it a little trickier with my first Rook (who was a mage). But shifting between archery and daggers is pretty smooth, and the combos are fun. And now that I've specialized as an Antivan Crow, I can do 'Murder of Crows' as my ultimate attack, so that's a fun time.

Hours played so far: roughly 30

[cactusnymph]

Prompt 33, bandaging the other’s hand and not quite letting go, for dragon age? ❤️

"Ah, I miss our dear Wynne and her impressive bo—"

"Don't. Say it."

Alistair has no capacity for Zevran's jokes right now. Every single muscle in his body is hurting and his blood is humming with the awareness of at least a dozen Darkspawn in the area close by.

Zevran's ability to make light of situations is something that Alistair might be able to admire if Zevran wasn't also bleeding out of various wounds.

Having Wynne here would make all of this so much easier and way less dangerous.

"It would do you good to think of something nice in a dark situation like this, my dear Alistair", Zevran says and doesn't bat an eye when Alistair goes to wash one of the deep cuts between his ribs. Zevran's pain tolerance is a frightening thing to behold.

The sweat on his forehead and his unusually pale skin tells a different story, of course.

He wishes he didn't drink his last healing potion an hour ago. While Zevran's pain tolerance might be very impressive, Alistair knows that he's the one who can take the heaviest hits. He should have taken the brunt of this.

"Yet again you're not following my advice. You look as if you're thinking of funerals and Mabari excrements", Zevran says and manages a smirk.

"I'll start thinking about nice things once you stop bleeding out", Alistair mumbles, pressing a bandage on one of the wounds and tying it as tightly as possible to stop the bleeding. Then he moves onto the next.

Three Darkspawn down the tunnel behind them.

He hopes Nerian is safe. Usually Alistair wouldn't mind if Morrigan's head got ripped off by an ogre, but maybe not while they're already in such dire circumstances.

"Is that worry I detect, my friend?"

For some reason Alistair wishes that Zevran wouldn't keep calling him that.

"I don't want Nerian to look at me with a disapproving frown when I let you die", Alistair lies, rummaging around in his pack to see if he has any elfroot left to disinfect some of the nastier cuts on Zevran's thigh.

Since they headed into the Deep Roads Alistair didn't exactly have time to examine his feelings for—well. Neither Nerian nor Zevran. Instead of taking some quiet time to contemplate his attraction towards not one but two men, Alistair is zoned into the constant humming of the Darkspawn blood flowing through his veins.

He could really use a good night of sleep under the stars without nightmares of the Archdemon.

"Ah yes. Your fellow Grey Warden has a fierce aura of disapproval about him whenever something displeases him. I can see how that would strike fear into your heart", Zevran says and watches Alistair's every move as he does his best to clean the wound with water and elfroot.

Alistair glances up at Zevran's pale, sweaty face and swallows.

"So. I noticed you—uh. Stopped. With the. With the flirting", Alistair finally says. This is absolutely the worst time to address this, but Alistair could do with a little distraction from the horrors and maybe Zevran feels the same.

Zevran chuckles weakly and Alistair is concerned about the way his eyelids droop.

"I am nothing if not respectful", Zevran says, making Alistair snort. "And since I noticed that you fancy our dear leader I have graciously decided to take a step back."

Five Darkspawn fifteen meters ahead.

The air smells like dust and blood.

"You don't have to", he finally mumbles, his ears burning with shame and the blood rushing into their tips.

There's a beat of silence while Alistair starts bandaging Zevran's hand. He's very aware of every callus and the way they're almost holding hands like this, with Alistair cradling the bleeding palm in one hand while cleaning the wound with the other one.

This is ridiculous. He has to concentrate.

For a breathless moment Alistair is scared that Zevran went unconscious, but when he glances up he registers that Zevran studies his face, his expression unusually serious and below all the strain there's a hint of curiosity that makes Alistair's cheeks burn and his heart hammer in his rib cage.

"Well, aren't you full of surprises", Zevran says with a lopsided smile. Alistair fumbles with the final bandage as he tries to sort the Darkspawn awareness from the rushing of blood he feels while he feels Zevran's eyes on him.

He only realizes too late that the bandage is already done and he's still holding on to Zevran's hand. Alistair takes a deep breath before hastily letting go and turning away from Zevran to grab his shield.

"Stay there", he orders and in one fluid motion beheads a Darkspawn turning the corner.

No one is going to die today. Not on his watch.

feel free to send me one of these <3

[anneapocalypse]

On Dragon Age II's Ending

The ending of Dragon Age 2 has always felt to me like the least morally ambiguous of any of the games' mage-templar decisions and frankly one of the least ambiguous "big" decisions in the series.

DA2 makes it extremely obvious that the Circle mages are about to be executed for something that absolutely none of them had any part in and no one, not even the Knight-Commander, is arguing that that isn't the case. You can feel whatever kind of way about what Anders did, and still recognize the staggering injustice of killing all the Circle mages for something that everyone, including the Knight-Commander calling for their deaths, is fully aware they did not do.

And just in case that wasn't clear, someone made a point of dropping in that bit of ambient dialogue telling us that Meredith is already trying to get clearance for the Right of Annulment before the explosion; she's just looking for an excuse. The game is pretty clear about the injustice of this situation, regardless of how many demons and blood mages there may or may not be in Kirkwall.

I'm a chronic replayer who enjoys making up new characters every time to see things I haven't seen before and I didn't have a particularly difficult time coming up with in-character, circumstantial reasons why a character might annul the Circle in DAO or recruit the templars in DAI and believe they're doing the right thing. For the former: dwarven noble who knows little about magic and believes what the Knight-Commander tells her, and chooses the wrong dialogue option with Morrigan in the party so Wynne attacks and therefore is not present in the party as an emotional anchor and a voice for the mages, and listens to Cullen when he says it's too dangerous to let any of the mages live. For the latter: non-mage human noble from a Chantry-connected family who just implicitly trusts templars, as he was raised to. Or Dalish elf who walks into Redcliffe, sees a magister stinking up the place and says "Well, the Dread Wolf take the lot of you then" and turns around and marches straight to Therinfal, conscripts the templars, disbanding the Order in the process. Just a couple of easy examples I've actually played.

But the ending of DA2 is a choice between "Yes, I will help to execute these people for something everyone knows they didn't do" or "No, I will not do that and I will help them defend themselves and escape." Of course it's possible to come up with in-character reasons to make the former choice, and I have! But it's much less of a choice a character could just stumble into, and you have to do a lot more ideological contortions for a character to do that and believe they're doing the right thing.

Yes, there are a lot of blood mages and demons in Kirkwall. While we don't get a lot of opportunities to treat blood mage NPCs with much nuance apart from Merrill as most blood mages are programmed to attack on sight (and this is likely a product of the game's tight development deadline), the game itself offers an explanation for this in the writings of the Band of Three, the Enigma of Kirkwall codex entry that you can collect throughout the story. While you have to look to find it, this history does make it clear that Kirkwall is meant to be an outlier, for reasons both political and historical (which is another post for another day). And Merrill herself, whether you agree with her viewpoints or not, does offer an important counterpoint: a character designed to be sympathetic while giving a more nuanced perspective to the player on why a mage might choose to use blood magic.

And yeah, even with the fact that the game makes you fight Orsino in the mage ending, I still think this. It's clumsily executed, yes, but Orsino going all blood magic harvester abomination is just one more example of what the game has been showing us all along: that mages (like most people) turn to extreme measures when they're backed into corners with no sense of hope, and the templars then use those extreme actions to justify further abuses of mages. I don't think it was strictly necessary (and for what it's worth, Mark Darrah agrees with that; it's a decision that was made out of concern for gameplay balance more than narrative and in hindsight he's said that he thinks it was a mistake), and I definitely think it could have been executed better, but as it stands it does fit an ongoing theme, and Orsino's actions still do not justify the murder of every other mage in the Circle.

And then there's that thing where Hawke can only receive the support of the nobility and become Viscount if they side with the templars, thereby agreeing to uphold the existing power structures in Kirkwall. It's easy to miss if you've never played through the templar ending (and also because Hawke doesn't hold the position for long and Inquisition doesn't really acknowledge that they ever did Correction: It is actually mentioned in the Champion of Kirkwall codex entry, and possibly other places as well, my memory just failed me), but to me that outcomes is absolutely inspired. It serves to highlight how deeply intertwined the nobility are with the Chantry. The nobles of Kirkwall want Meredith deposed because they feel she's overstepped her bounds by denying them a proper viscount, but they are not anti-Chantry or anti-Circle; they still want mages locked up, and they probably also remember what happened the last time Kirkwall's nobility decided to try and contest the Chantry's power in their city (see: Perrin Threnhold).

I find the templar ending genuinely interesting to play through in terms of seeing the story from that angle, and in terms of what it has to say about power structures and politics in Thedas generally and in Kirkwall in specific, which I also wrote about recently. (To say nothing of how differently it frames Varric in Inquisition when the Hawke he idolizes is the Hawke who slaughtered Kirkwall's mages to a one.) I would honestly recommend playing it at least once for lore reasons if you're into that sort of thing. But I would hardly say that you as a player come out of that ending feeling like you're playing the good guy.

And I'm not even arguing that all choices in the games should be this in-your-face. On the contrary, I don't think they all should. I like it when it's possible for a character to make a choice with unintended outcomes, or get accidentally locked into a worse choice because of previous decisions (like annulling the Circle and then being forced to kill Connor or Isolde). Those are some of my favorite kind of choices in these games. In this particular case, I do think the extreme nature of the choice is important to the story, both as the catalyst for the mage rebellion and to underscore why Anders did what he did.

So when people tell me that DA2 "both sideses" the mage-templar conflict... I respect that it's possible to feel that way about it, but I just don't see it. The game allows the player to role-play a character who might make various choices within its narrative; that is not the same thing as presenting all choices as morally equivalent in-universe, and it has never been the same thing, in any of these games.

If you're looking for one mage-templar choice that puts the injustice squarely in your face, I think the ending of DA2 is very much that.

[bluerose5]

You know what would be hilarious? Zevran post faerûn back in Thedas doing magic in front of Morrigan just to watch her lose her fucking mind trying to figure out how she did it

But for an actual prompt, I’d love to see Astarion’s reaction to Zevran being downed in battle

Alternatively, Fenris, Astarion, and Araj Oblodra in Moonrise

Zevran would troll the hell out of Morrigan and anyone else willing to watch. I feel Wynne would have hated this new development more than anyone, though. 💀

For the prompts, I actually have a WIP similar to the first one. It's just more of a Zevran gets injured while Astarion isn't in the party, but I feel they would be similar enough that I'm going with the alternate prompt if that's okay. 👀👀👀

...

Fenris’s blood boiled with rage.

Not only did he despise the necessity of having to infiltrate Moonrise Towers, but he also despised having to play nice with the cultists until they could figure out how to proceed.

Araj Oblodra was no exception. If anything, she was one of the worst ones they happened across throughout their journey, entitled and condescending.

The instant she asked for his blood, Fenris bristled, and his answer rang with a note of finality.

"Ask that of me again," he snarled, "and I'll cut you down for even suggesting it. You will not be conducting any 'research' on my blood."

"Hmph." She all but pouted, yet she was apparently wise enough to know not to push her luck. "Fine, but perhaps we could turn to another matter at hand: your friend."

When her eyes slid towards Astarion, Fenris could hear his own heartbeat pounding behind his ears. His fingers twitched at his side, itching to unsheathe his greatsword. For a moment, he could barely hear her words over the racing of his pulse. He narrowed his eyes at her, his lips curled into a sneer.

Then, as clear as day, she asked a question of Fenris, one that pierced straight through the haze that clouded his mind.

"I assume he belongs to you?"

Behind him, Astarion sputtered, "Ex–Excuse me?"

Fenris felt the air around himself start to shift.

"He doesn't belong to anyone," Fenris snapped. He stepped forward until he loomed over Araj, his gaze dark. "Now, I advise you to think very carefully about your next words." The clawed fingers of his gauntlets glinted in the room's low lighting. "Because they might just be your last. You will show him respect. Understand?"

They were hardly to be compared to one another, since Fenris didn't know a thing about Araj beyond this encounter, but so much about her already rubbed him the wrong way, reminded him of Hadriana. They thought their lives valuable enough that they were invincible in their minds, untouchable, and that all others were merely pawns in their games, to be used and discarded as they saw fit.

Araj scoffed at his threat, tried to act undeterred, but the slight quiver of her voice —the more deliberate delivery of her words— exposed her fear for what it was.

She made an offer, and Astarion declined.

How easy it was for her to fall back into old habits, even with her life on the line.

She glanced at Fenris as soon as she didn't get her way, wrinkling her nose in disdain.

"Can't you talk some sense into your obstinate cha—"

Fenris was blinded by a sea of red.

Her words choked off.

He didn't even have to think about it. Before he knew what was happening, his hand sank deep within the confines of her chest, her still-beating heart nestled within his palm.

Right before he crushed it.

And as he freed his hand, he watched her body collapse to the ground.

"Good riddance," he muttered.

Lae'zel noticed another cultist gaping from the corner of the room, quick to cover for them in the best way she knew how.

"Take her death as a lesson. Question us, and you'll meet your end as she did. Understood?"

They nodded.

"Good," she said, then jerked her head in the direction of the door. "Now, scram."

She didn't have to tell them twice.

While Fenris stood over Araj's body, blood dripping onto the floor from his fingertips, Karlach leaned in to whisper to Astarion.

"Remind me not to piss him off."

"No kidding," Astarion said, but he braced himself before approaching, reaching out to rest a hand upon his shoulder. "Fenris..."

In a flash, Fenris shrugged off his touch, turning on him with a fire still raging within him, teeth bared.

However, at the sight of the others, Fenris felt those flames die down, their presence drawing him back into reality.

Astarion was fine.

He was safe.

Even in the belly of the beast, Fenris would see to that.

[1horrormoviewhore1]

~HEX GIRLS~

When everyone on the internet thinks you and your band are a coven of witches even Colby's starting to think the rumors are true

It was our last set for our U.S mini tour as the hex girls. Our last leg of shows landed us in our home state of California and Nevada for some of our friends like Colby,Sam, and Kat sam's girlfriend. After this we would go on a 5-6 month hiatus to freak everyone out our adoring fans and it was a pr move to get the sales up for our new album coming out when we got back.

Sam, Colby, and Kat were probably our only true friends. Let's be honest here everyone else in the celebrity and influencer world were a bunch of fakes and then you had that handful of people who were true friends they were actually real towards you no matter what happened, who had your back in the biggest fights so on and so forth.

For us going on this hiatus is risky but the good kind of risky. You have to do what you have to do sometimes in show business even if that means people think your band is a coven of witches I mean it matched the vibe we set out but that doesn't mean we were or do it. I mean when we do witchcraft it isn't even bad just some manifesting among other things like spell jars but that's pretty much it.

People are going around the internet saying we're devil worshippers and satanists and that we eat babies to stay mega young and that's why we have such baby faces. Like no Martha we just do skin care and go to the gym often like the fuck.

Anyway as we get ready to perform a fan favorite song Hex Girl (ironic that it's a fan favorite huh) I see Colby in the crowd with Sam and kat they have white claws in their hands am I surprised no. I give him a little side smirk as the lighting changes and I get ready to sing. I take a little breath in and close my eyes to get ready for the music to play I hear the drums and guitar and I know it's show time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Colbys~pov~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I see Y/n standing there on stage she gives me a little smirk as she closes her eyes and the music starts to play.

"I'm gonna cast a spell on you"

"Oh no it looks like the hex girls have him under their spell Sam " kat giggled as she nudged her boyfriends side with her elbow

"your gonna do what I want you to"

"oh no is right look he's literally drooling over her I've lost my best friend to the witches of the music industry" Sam laughed as he patted me on the back

"mix it up here in my little bowl"

I pull my eyes away from her even if I didn't want to. I looked at Sam and kat

"what did you guys say?" I asked as they looked at me dumbstruck

"say a few words and you lose control"

"oh he really is whipped for her" Sam said as he took a drink of his white claw while tugging kat into his side by her shoulders and she snuggled up into his side

"Im a hex girl and I'm gonna put a spell on you"

"what are you guys talking about I'm not whipped for her" I glared at Sam and kat as they looked at me for a second before laughing at me like I had just said the funniest thing in the world. I scoffed at them and turned back to watch Y/n sing

" Im gonna put a spell on you"

"you guys dont know what you talking about I'm just supporting our friends" I scoffed at them and turned back to watch Y/n sing.

"Im a hex girl and I'm gonna put a spell on you"

Her words echoed in my mind. I don't know if that's how it was supposed to be but it felt like she was staring directly at me as she sang

"You'll feel the fog as I cloud your mind you'll get dizzy when I make the sign"

After she sang those words I felt weightless, like I was floating above the crowd like she put some spell on me I couldn't shake the feeling

"You'll wake up in the dead of night"

After I really let it sink in as I watched her do the sign I could only assume to be the band logo it almost all made sense like she had written this song bout me or what she planned to happen to me

"Missing me when I'm out of sight "

I had liked her ever since I had met her since kat had introduced us at her release party for lala land about ...... Ago she had caught my site as soon as her, her sister daisy, and their band mate dusk

" I'm a hex girl and I'm gonna put a spell on you"

I remember it like it was yesterday kat had introduced us and then we just kinda broke off from the group and stayed in the corner of the room talking and drinking the night away

"I'm gonna put a spell on you"

I felt like I had known her for years after that night like I had just rediscovered an old friend from back home we practically hit it off and we exchanged numbers and now ..... Later as I stood here in the crowd of her show mesmerized by her as she stared at me dead in the eyes

"I'm a hex girl and I'm gonna put a spell on you"

Maybe the rumors online about them being witches were true. I felt weightless like she had me on a string and she had me by her pointer finger and thumb

" With this little cobweb potion"

She kept staring at me , me doing the same not being able to look away it felt like we were connected in some type of special way, maybe she likes me the same way I liked her maybe she wanted to be with me just as bad as I wanted to be with her

" you'll fall into dark devotion"

Her eyes got darker the longer we kept staring at each other just as I felt like something was going to happen she broke eye contact with me and looked off stage at who I could only guess was a stage hand

"if you ever lose affection"

"look who decided to come back down to earth after that insanely tense staring match with his girlfriend" Sam said as he and kat laughed at the teasing at my expense

"I could change your whole direction"

"I was not staring at her" I said with a huff as kat giggled at me

"ya know I could put in a good word for you with her if you really wanted me to" kat said as she put her hand on my shoulder

"Wait you would really do that!?" I said a little too quickly for my liking

"HA I knew he had a crush on her did you see how fast he perked up at that" Sam said as he pointed at me " you owe me 5 bucks my dear Katrina" he said with his hand out

"wait you guys bet on me having a crush on Y/n" I asked

"yep" kat said popping the 'p'

" we sure did brother, so when are you going to grow a pair and ask her out" Sam asked as he pocketed the 5 bucks kat gave him out of her purse

" Im a hex girl and I'm gonna put a spell on you"

"I have no clue to be honest I don't even think she likes me that way" I said as I signed and looked up at the stage catching Y/n's eye once again

"I'm gonna put a spell on you"

She winked and smirked at me as she sang so I could only thank God that the lights were red so Sam and kat couldn't see me blushing at our small interaction

"I'm a hex girl and I'm gonna put a spell on you"

"you should do it after the show at the after party I'm sure we could find some flowers or something at a corner store for her" kat said as she looked at me then to the stage as me and Y/n kept our little staring contest going

"we're gonna put a spell on all of youuu"

As she sang those last words smoke bombs went off in front of her,Daisy, and Dusk as they raised their hands and crossed them over their chests. Then as the smoke cleared everyone cheered as they had seemingly disappeared behind the cover of smoke

As the lights of the venue returned to normal so people wouldn't trip on their way out after the show. All I could think of was what and how I was going to tell Y/n how I have the biggest crush imaginable on her and I've had it since I met her and that I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with her.

[lichqueenlibrarian]

Time for Yesterday gave me so much to chew on.

I don’t really want to spoil it if anyone is intending to read it (or bore anyone if they don’t) so thoughts about the book under the cut.

From the book’s summary:

Time in the galaxy has stopped running its normal course. That can only mean one thing -- the Guardian of Forever is malfunctioning. To save the universe, Starfleet command reunites three of its most legendary figures -- Admiral James T. Kirk, Spock of Vulcan, and Dr. Leonard McCoy -- and sends them on a desperate mission to contact the Guardian, a journey that ultimately takes them 5,000 years into the past. They must find Spock's son Zar once again -- and bring him back to their time to telepathically communicate the Guardian.

But Zar is enmeshed in troubles of his own, and soon Kirk, Spock and McCoy find themselves in a desperate struggle to save both their world -- and his!

One of the things I did enjoy was the change in Spock’s characterisation; he was softer but not in a way that felt forced- the story takes place after The Motion Picture and Deep Domain (which put Jim back on Earth at Starfleet HQ at the book’s end) so not only is Spock older, you get the feeling that he’s been doing a lot of thinking since the last time he and Zar met. Spock outright says that the incident with Vejur caused him to reevaluate how he interacts with the universe, and with the people in it. He allows himself to connect a little more with others (he and D’berahan, the little esper they bring along to contact the Guardian get along quite well and have a very immediate friendship), and the book expands a bit on his friendship with Uhura, which I thought was lovely. The side plot with D’berahan, a member of a species that communicates solely through telepathy did make me wonder at the ease with which she and Spock spoke, it seemed much different than the way Spock uses words, and it occurred to me that you could probably consider telepathy Spock’s first language rather than Vulcan.

When they find that the world is in imminent danger of ending, Jim’s put into a conundrum- does he reach out to David knowing this could be his last chance, and in spite of what he promised Carol? Does he have the right to contact David, and does he chance causing David any distress? In the text it’s set up a bit as a counterpoint to Spock- they’re both estranged from their children for different reasons, and how do you cope with that? Jim’s also conflicted about having let Carol take sole responsibility for David, and his past willingness to accede to her desires. I think though, that Jim’s more in line with Zar than with Spock.

Zar has been leading his city, bringing them into prosperity with the help of the things he learned in the future. Unfortunately he’s on the brink of an unwinnable war that will wreck all that work, he’s not happy as the leader (preferring to teach), and having been widowed and lost his child twenty years prior hasn’t allowed himself to get close to anyone again. He’s also closer in age to Spock and Jim due to the vagaries of time travel. Zar wants to teach but can’t because of his responsibilities to the people and city. Jim would prefer to teach (he would see Spock more often, too and I’m sure that has nothing to do with anything) but can’t because he’s constantly getting bogged down in Starfleet business taking him over hill and dale. Zar is afraid to get close to anyone (including his new wife Wynn, high priestess of one of the clans allied against him) because he’s afraid of her possible death. However, he’s able to get over his fear and will be able to go back to teaching because Wynn is a capable and enthusiastic ruler herself, more than willing to take on ruling the city so that Zar can spend more time doing what he really loves.

I think the suggestion there is that what Jim’s really feeling the lack of is support and partnership. While Spock is able to meet Zar on a more even footing this time, able to express more of his honest feelings, and in the end to overcome his qualms and do something dramatic in order to save his son, Jim doesn’t really get the same payoff. Whether he goes to meet David isn’t resolved, and while the book ends with him resolving to be firm about taking on more teaching opportunities, there isn’t really a resolution for his emotional arc.

I really enjoyed Spock’s final trip into the past to help Zar. Prior to their marriage, Wynn prophesied that he would fall in battle and rise, and Spock saw in the Guardian’s records of the past that Zar sustains a brutal blow to the head that likely kills him. To prevent this, he takes off into the past with a lirpa and ahn-woon to try and save Zar. Along the way he encounters the hideousness of war in that era- there are some descriptions of the injured and dying that are kinda gross (viscera everywhere)- and I liked that this was shocking and nauseating to Spock. He also kills someone accidentally and feels guilt over it despite that person being the one who nearly murders Zar. At the end they pull off Wynn’s prophecy by using Spock’s resemblance to Zar and a bit of Jim’s dramatics to scare off the opposing armies.

The battle against the Originators was neat, mostly because McCoy gets harassed by an alien taking the form of his ex wife (despite knowing it’s not Jocelyn they immediately start bickering), while the one that targets Jim uses Winona’s recent death to try and hurt him. That Jim reacts to the alien’s taunting by saying his mother wouldn’t ever think those things and that he knows he did his best for her, while Spock reacts by getting angry and putting himself between Jim and the alien is… fascinating.

There were a lot of references to other books (MR NARAHT MY SON!!) which I did like, it gave the world a bit of heft rather than introducing a whole bunch of new people again.

I think the change in Jim from the show to the movies is so damn interesting, it’s one of my favourite parts of these books despite the focus being mostly on Spock.

[malarkgirlypop]

MEDIC! Part 20 (Donald Malarkey x Fem!OC)

HHHHHHEEEEEEHHEHEHEHEH AHHHHHHH and that's all I have to say!

Based on the HBO show and the actors who portray the characters, no hate to anyone involved.Keep reading

Tag list: @next-autopsy, @panzershrike-pretz, @xxluckystrike, @bucky32557038ww2 (let me know if you want to be tagged.)

We walk out of the building, I’m moving quickly, ecstatic to get to these showers and get in them. An explosion stops me in place, it sounded near and like it hit the street. “Someone’s been hit!” A person yells. I move quickly, darting down the street to where the man stands. I round the corner, Gene already leaning over the soldier. I kneel beside Gene, it’s obvious now that the man is dead. 

“He was dead by the time I got to him.” Gene says with a defeated sigh. “I got it, you can go.” 

He says as he writes in his notepad, detailing the events to hand onto one of the ranking officers. 

“Are you sure Gene, I’m happy to help.” Gene turns and smiles at me, patting me on the shoulder.

“It’s fine, I got here first anyway.” I nod standing. Other men have gathered behind us. Ron and Don disperse the men, sending them on their way. I follow behind them. My steps are not so light anymore. 

I see the showers, a smile appears on my face. I stand in line waiting patiently for my turn. I can hear the sound of running water and smell soap. It’s heavenly. I can’t take my eyes off the line, watching every man move slowly forward. Come on! Lieb falls into line behind me. So close to the front. Almost there. 

“2nd platoon on me.” Don calls, Lieb ushers me out of the line that I so desperately don’t want to leave. 

“Come on, he's calling us.” His hands on my shoulders, pushing me towards where Don stands. I groan in frustration, now I have to go to the back of the line again. We gather around Don. 

“All right, I’m leading this patrol.” My heart sinks, that was not the news I wanted to hear. “The CO wants Grant, Liebgott, Wynn, Jackson, Shifty from 3rd platoon and Webster.” Don finishes relaying the news. That seems to be all the men from 2nd platoon. I don’t want any of them to go, can’t this be done by now? 

“They want anyone from 1st platoon.” Cobb asks from behind the group, eavesdropping.

“No.” Don dismisses the man. 

“Is there anyone they don’t want from second? Jesus Christ.” Lieb states clearly pissed.

“That list sounds like everybody to me.” Don says walking away. 

“It’s always 2nd platoon. I swear to God, if we were down to three guys, they’d still want us for it.” I wander off as Lieb speaks feeling like I am in a daze. Trying not to let my head spin from the what if’s of this patrol tonight. I can’t think about that, not right now. I can spiral from over-thinking, which I love to do.  

I stand in the line, looking at my feet. I cast my glance up, Don stands just in front of me. I go to open my mouth to say something, but in a fluid motion he pulls his top off. I close my mouth quickly, my eyes widening. I try not to stare, but I can’t pull my eyes off of him. He doesn’t seem to notice me as he pulls off his singlet, leaving him completely bare on his top half. I gulp. My heart rate quickens as a hot blush rises to my cheeks. His chest is rippled with muscles, his arms look bulky and strong. He doesn’t even realise me or how flustered I am. I can feel my breath quicken. 

“Em, I didn’t know that you were a little perv.” Lieb whispers in my ear, I jump in fright spinning to face him. My face still bears the tinge of pink from moments earlier. 

“I’m-I’m not a perv!” I try to defend myself but Lieb must’ve watched it all, with great entertainment. The smirk he wears says it all. “I wasn’t looking!” I try to deny it. Lieb chuckles. 

“Sure you weren’t, you little perv.” He rubs it in further, causing me to turn a deeper shade of red. 

“Look at you all flustered, Emily.” He teases, squeezing my face in his hands. I pull from his grasp, pushing him in the chest. 

“I was just waiting for the shower.” I try my best to lie to him. He just grins wider.

“I guess it’s fine he is your husband after all.” He winks at me. I gawk, hitting him in the arm. 

“Lieb! He isn’t my husband. Skip and Alex were kidding!” I try to convince the grinning man, he looks pleased at how he has wound me up. I go after him, playfully trying to attack him. He has me by my wrists before I can even make a punch. 

“So feisty, little perv.” I groan, I’m so embarrassed. 

“Stop!” I whine, trying to plead with Joe to end this torture, but he is having too much fun. 

“You know who else would love to hear this information, Babe and Grant.” Lieb releases me from his hold, darting off to find the two men. I take chase, yelling after him to stop. He weaves through the crowd, but I stay on his tail. I see him clock the pair, together waiting in line for the other set of showers that are running. 

“Babe, Grant!” He calls them as he runs up. I am not far behind, jumping on his back and covering his mouth with my hands. The pair looked very confused, as we wrestled with each other. Lieb pulls me from his back, taking my arms and crossing them over my chest, pinning me to his front so I can’t hit him anymore. I wiggle in protest but he is stronger than me holding me in place. I face outwards staring at Grant and Babe for help. 

“Guess what?” Lieb starts, as I fight against him, it’s no use I’m stuck. I lean my head back into Lieb’s chest, groaning in shame. 

“Well Emily was perving on Malarkey as he was getting undressed to go in the shower.” Lieb excitedly tells the men. I hang my head, I’m so humiliated. Babe and Grant burst out laughing, Lieb joins them as well. I stand glaring at them. 

“Haha, very funny.” I say unamused, but the men keep giggling.

“What, so our little Em isn’t as innocent as she seems.” Grant teases. 

“You wanna find out Grant?” I tease them back, he seems to stall. I grin at them all. They laugh again. 

“Aww Em you’re so cute.” They clearly don’t take my threat seriously. I roll my eyes.  

“Can I have a shower now or what?” I tilt my head up asking the man who still has me caged into his chest. He releases me from his hold, as I step away from him. I walk away flipping them the bird as I leave, they laugh again. 

I finally made it to the front of the line. “Oh miss, you can’t shower here.” One of the soldiers stops me. I take a deep breath, you’ve got to be kidding me!  

“Why not?” I ask, as men move past me to go and shower. 

“Well this is the men’s shower, no females allowed. The men wouldn’t be comfortable with you there.” He informs me. 

“But I’m a medic, body parts don’t phase me. Plus I was going to keep my underwear on.” The man’s face flushes pink. 

“No, this is men’s only, sorry.” He tells me again. 

“Well, is there a female one?” I ask. 

“No.” He states. 

“But, what about me? Where do I shower?” He shrugs. I sigh in frustration. I march away from the tent. “Stupid good for nothing mother fuckers.” I rant quietly under my breath. I see Captain Speirs march past me. “Captain!” I call for him, running to catch up.

“Is there a problem Emily?” He asks, looking concerned. 

“Yes.” I say. “There is nowhere for me to shower, sir. They won’t let me shower in the main tents.” I explain to him, he nods in understanding. 

“You can use the officers shower Emily.” Ron says nonchalantly. My face lights up. I throw my arms around his neck hugging him. 

“Thank you! Thank you!” He stills under me. I let go, stepping back, “Sorry, sir.” I say sheepishly. 

“It’s fine Emily, they are just round the back, go wash up.” I nod enthusiastically. I skip down the street. Picking up a clean uniform on the way. 

I make it to the officers showers, much nicer than the other ones. It is a single shower that has a locking door. Meaning I can get fully undressed. I grin, very happy with the outcome. 

I hang my uniform on the door outside, hiding the clean underwear and bra I stole from one of the houses under the clothes so no one can see them. Listen you do what you gotta do! I take off my shoes and socks, looking at the new pair of boots I had been given with thick warm socks. This was going to be the best. Getting clean and then into clean clothes. 

I step into the shower, locking the door behind me. I strip, tossing my dirty uniform on the floor. While I shower I can hand wash my underwear, thank you crafty queen. I hang my towel on the inside of the door. 

I turn on the water. I almost melt, the hot water cascading down my body. I sigh in content. I tilt my head back letting the water run down my hair and face. It eases my cold aching bones. I run my fingers through my hair brushing out the knots. My hair is so long now. Lieb always offers to cut it, but he’s a barber not a hairdresser. I would rather have it long than have him chop it. 

Due to the cold my hair looks darker than normal. It’s a medium warm blonde, but when it’s wet it looks like a soft brown until it dries. Even when it’s wet my hair still forms into ringlets. According to my mum, my dad had curly hair. I always asked because her hair was dead straight. When I was little she said it was because I ate all my greens and the crust of my toast. I was always complimented on my hair, a normal compliment I would get from older ladies was, ‘I paid so much money when I was younger for my hair to look like that, and you get it for free so lucky.’ 

Seemed the best era to be in to have curly thick hair. But it didn’t feel that way with no shampoo and conditioner and shitty combs that would break as soon as I put the tiniest amount of force behind it. All the men had to do was shave occasionally, I on the other hand normally had a whole skin care routine, god I miss my face wash and moisturiser. I couldn’t do that now, I still tried to wash my face each night, but most of the time I couldn’t be bothered. 

I washed myself head to toe with a bar of soap. I also washed the bra and undies in the shower with me. I will have to find a sneaky place to dry these so that I’m not just casually hanging them up for everyone to see. I took the opportunity to shave my legs with one of the razors 

I had stolen off of one of the men, they hardly noticed when their stuff went missing. I ran my hand down my leg, they were silky smooth. I turned off the faucet and towelled myself dry, wrapping it around my torso. I opened the door a crack to grab my uniform. I stared at the empty door. I shut it and opened it again, still nothing. I looked around on the ground, no clothes anywhere.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” I was livid, fuming, pissed, all of the above. I knew my clothes wouldn’t just disappear out of nowhere, someone took them, and they were going to pay. I angrily put on my socks and shoes, tightening the towel around me. I huffed as I marched through the street, who looked guilty? I didn’t care about who saw me. I was so mad.   

“Hey there, woah!” A soldier did a double-take as I passed him. 

“Who are you?” A man asked, following after me, I ignored him continuing on my hunt. 

“Pretty lady, where are you going? I can show you a good time.” A group of men trailed behind me. I rounded the corner back to where the showers were. Cobb’s eyes landed on me widening in surprise and then guilt crossed his face, got you.  

“COBB!” I roared, making everyone turn and look at me. The men who didn’t know me well enjoyed the show, however the Easy men looked like they were ready to kill me and everyone else staring. 

I marched up to Cobb, he gawked at me, “I know you took my clothes!” I accused him. 

“Emily!” Perco was beside me. “Here take my jacket.” He tried to offer it to me, but it barely covered what I had covered in the towel. 

“No thanks, short king.” I turned to look at him, “Perco, this barely covers what I am wearing now.” I told him, he nodded, stepping away. I set my sights back on the man in front of me.

“I-I didn’t take your clothes.” He stuttered. I slid my tongue along my teeth ready to tear into him. 

“What is going on here?” Bull interrupted us, “Emily what the hell are you doing in just a towel?” He asked me, looking shocked. 

“Cobb stole my clothes while I was showering!” I stabbed my finger into his chest, while I hissed menacingly. Bull glared at the man. 

“Is this true Cobb?” He asked the man. 

“I thought it was someone else!” He blurted. I fucking knew it! “I’m sorry!” 

“Oh you’re sorry! How could you not tell they were mine Cobb. It clearly had female underwear and a bra!” I shouted at him. The men watching laughed as I yelled.  

“Oh that’s right, I’m sorry, you’ve never seen women's underwear have you?” He goes to open his mouth to protest. 

“And don’t say your mother’s Cobb, that doesn't count!” I ripped into him, there was a collective ‘ooh’ after my roast from the spectators. Cobb was bright red and looked furious.    

“God is no one going to cover her.” Webster said walking up to me, he shrugged off his jacket wrapping it around my shoulders. 

“Cobb you come with me, Emily go to base and Cobb will bring you back your clothes.” I nodded still glaring at the man. Bull escorted Cobb away, looking like he was giving him a firm telling off.  

“I’ll walk you.” Webster said. I started for the base, passing Lieb, Babe and Grant who gawked. 

“Enjoy the show boys?” I asked, sending them a wink. They scoffed, shaking their heads in shock.

We made it back to base. I sat on the bed still in my towel. In my fury I had left all of my other belongings in the shower, so after I get dressed I will need to go back. I sat with Webster’s jacket still around my shoulders, none of the other men had come back yet, so Web sat across from me on the other bunk, awkwardly glancing at me from time to time. I crossed my arms over my chest, feeling very exposed. I tapped my foot anxiously on the ground. Web’s hand landed on my exposed thigh stilling my movements. 

“Sorry.” I said, rolling my shoulders.

“Does this happen often?” He asked. I laughed, shaking my head. 

“No, it's a first. I don’t normally parade around in a towel.” He chuckled, nodding his head. 

“So how are you finding it? The war?” I chuckled. 

“Some light conversation starter you got there, Web.” He smiled nervously. 

“Oh sorry, I just, I’m interested since you're a girl. There aren’t many of you on the front.” I nodded, understanding his perspective. 

“Well I can tell you it hasn’t been easy.” I gave him a sad smile, “I think this is one of the toughest things I have ever done, or ever will do. Well, maybe apart from childbirth.” He laughed at my joke. 

“But the thing is, if I had too, I would do it again. If I had a choice to go back and do it differently. I don’t think I would.” I told him honestly. He watched me intensely with his bright blue eyes. 

“These men really like you.” He says, I laugh. “You seem to have fit right in.” I smiled at him, taking the compliment. 

“Are you just trying to make up for your previous comment?” I joked. He laughed, nervously scratching the back of his head. 

“Well, maybe. It came out wrong. I didn’t mean it as an insult.” I leant forward patting him on his hand. 

“I forgive you, you’re all good.” He seemed pleased, giving me a big smile. 

“Well, well, well. What seems to be going on here, are we interrupting something?” Lieb strolled into the room rolled by Grant and Babe. I rolled my eyes, but Webster seemed to be flustered.

“What are we going to tell your husband? First you walked through the streets in just your towel and now you’re getting all touchy-feely with Web.” Grant teased, the other men laughing. Web look worried. 

“He’s not my husband!” I started to say.

“Who’s not your husband?” Don asked, walking into the room. We all fell quiet.  

“Ahhh…” Babe filled the silence with his noise. “You want to tell him?” He asked me. I looked over to Don who looked at me puzzled. 

“Did I miss something? Why are you in a towel? Where are your clothes?” He asked, looking around the room at everyone. Just as I was about to start explaining again. Bull and Cobb walked in. 

“Here are your clothes Emily.” Cobb said like a little boy who was told to apologise by his mother. I took them off him. Don looked even more confused. Bull stood with raised eyebrows as Cobb turned around, he sighed turning back to me. 

“I’m sorry for taking your clothes, that was wrong of me.” He said in a defeated voice. 

“Well I’m glad you know it.” I watched the pair leave, Bull sending me a wink over his shoulder. I grinned at him. Don just stood in the room mouth open. 

“I will explain, just let me get dressed and I’ll tell you. But can you all leave the room so I get changed please.” I stood ushering them out. 

“What about the guy on the gun outside the window?” Don asked.

“It’s fine he’s seen my boobs before.” I joked, but it flew over his head, he looked at me dumbfounded. 

“I’m kidding Don!” I reassured the man, pushing him out of the room. I quickly got changed under my towel, so that no one could see anything. I opened the doors again to the room, calling the men back upstairs.  

----------------------------------

Chapter 21

[astraphone]

every angle of unfair advantage

1.4k, alistair/surana. set immediately before the battle of denerim. She wants them both to survive this, and if that makes her a bad Grey Warden that’s a price she’s more than willing to pay.

The hour is late, tomorrow she marches to Denerim, and Aislyn Surana should be asleep. Instead, she finds herself pacing the expanse of Redcliffe Castle, ostensibly triple-checking that the forces she’s gathered are as ready as they can be, but mostly trying very hard not to think about what Alistair and Morrigan are doing right now.

Trying not to think about that, or about much of the past few hours at all. Not the pit of dread in her stomach when she learned that a Grey Warden had to die to end the Blight. Not the warring feelings of betrayal and relief when Morrigan told her she’d known all along, and knew another way. Certainly not the look Alistair had given her as she explained what, exactly, she wanted him to do.

She gives up haunting the corridors when Wynne gently but firmly suggests that Aislyn’s obvious and uncharacteristic anxiety might start rubbing off on the soldiers, and resorts to walking circles around her guest room instead. She tells herself she isn’t expecting Alistair, even though they’ve been sharing tents and beds every night for months now.

When the knock on the door does come, it’s more of a relief than Aislyn cares to admit. She pauses a moment to make it seem like she hasn’t been anxiously waiting for him—old habits die hard, and a lifetime of careful poise and restraint doesn’t vanish just because she’s in love—before answering. Alistair is waiting, his expression more blank than she’s seen it in a long time.

“It’s done?” She steps aside to let him in, biting down the bizarre and deeply unhelpful urge to ask him how it was.

“Would it shock you to learn Morrigan isn’t one for pillow talk?” There had been yelling, on both their parts, as she’d talked him into the ritual, but Alistair’s voice is toneless now. He looks as exhausted as she feels, and she wants desperately to reach for him, but the fear that he wants nothing to do with her after what she’s just asked of him keeps her hands at her sides. 

“Are you alright?” She asks instead.

Alistair snorts, that bitter half-laugh he gives when he’s not actually amused at all. “What do you think?”

She thinks that she doesn’t know how to fix this in the few hours before they march to Denerim. “I’m sorry, Alistair.”

(She is, and also she isn’t. She’s sorry there was no better way, that it had to be him, that she’s certain he’ll take on any consequences down the line as his own responsibility. She’s not sorry at all that she doesn’t want them to die, that she was offered a loophole and she took it.)

Alistair sighs and flops down on Aislyn’s bed, covering his face with a hand. “I don’t really want to talk about it. Not tonight.”

“We might not get another night.” Aislyn remains standing by the door, unsure what to do with herself. Over these past few months she’s gotten used to the two of them comfortably existing in each other's spaces; a kiss on her cheek after a battle, a hand finding hers as they trek through the wilderness, an arm around her shoulder as they sit beside the campfire at night. She doesn’t know what to do with distance anymore, nor is she sure in this moment how to close it.

“We might. That’s what this whole plan was for, wasn’t it?”

“We’re about to fight an Archdemon, ritual or no,” she points out. “We don’t know what’s going to happen.”

“Don’t try to tell me that was for nothing, Aislyn.” A bit of heat creeps into Alistair’s voice, which is almost a relief after his uncharacteristically blank tone.

“Not for nothing,” she says, taking a tentative step forward into the room. “You gave us a chance. But I don’t want to go into this with anything unsaid.”

“What do you want to hear? That it was awful? That I think I’m a terrible person for doing it? That I wanted to spend what might be one of the last nights of my life with the woman I love, and instead I spent it having sex with Morrigan?” Alistair spits out the end of the last question, then seems to deflate. "It’s over with, at least."

“You’re not a terrible person,” Aislyn says quietly. “It wasn’t even your idea.”

“Then why won’t you come near me?”

Aislyn startles. “I wasn’t—I didn’t want to force anything on you. Not after—you know.” 

Alistair’s voice softens again. “You’ve never forced anything on me, ever. Can you come here, please?”

Aislyn obliges silently, curling up next to him on the bed. With a sigh, he presses a kiss to her forehead, and they both lie there silently for a few moments.

“Why do you think you’re a terrible person for doing it?” She asks finally. “Because of the magic? Because it was Morrigan?”

“Well, there is that. But no, not really." Alistair is quiet again for long enough that Aislyn isn't sure he's going to continue, but he takes a deep breath and presses onwards. "The rest of the Grey Wardens died trying to end this Blight. In some ways this has all been for them, you know? It would've been an honor to die for them. And I suppose I feel like I'm spitting in the face of everything they were—everything we are—by finding another way out." 

“Would you rather I have kept it from you?” Aislyn challenges, pushing herself back up on one elbow so she can look him in the eyes. “Told Morrigan no and doomed one of us to die?”

She’d thought briefly about not telling him, actually. Aislyn’s journey as a Grey Warden began with the betrayal of her best friend. She ruined Jowan’s life to get here, and for all the excuses she’s made it still keeps her up at night sometimes. When she’d heard Morrigan’s proposal, a voice in the back of her head had told her spare Alistair this burden. Do right by someone you love, for once, and don’t put this on him.

But Aislyn has spent far too long wanting only what she’s supposed to want. She’s had a taste of life this year—real life, not the shadow of it that she’s come to realize the Circle was—and she wants more. She wants them both to survive this, and if that makes her a bad Grey Warden that’s a price she’s more than willing to pay.

“It wouldn’t have been you,” Alistair says sharply, which Aislyn thinks is rather missing the point. “I wouldn’t have let that happen.”

“It wouldn’t have been only your call, Alistair. What if I’d died killing the Archdemon, and you’d learned later there had been another way?”

Aislyn feels a twinge of guilt at Alistair’s flinch, but she’s made her point and they both know it. “I never would’ve forgiven myself,” he mutters.

“Then you understand that I couldn’t have gone into this without you knowing all our options.”

Alistair sighs again, pulling Aislyn back down and closer to him. “I know. I know, and I… don’t regret it. I wouldn’t have agreed if I hadn’t been willing. I want a future with you, truly. I just want to do right by the Wardens too.”

“You do,” Aislyn says firmly. “Every day. Victory and vigilance as well as sacrifice, remember? We’ll both die for them eventually. But we have decades before our Callings, and I’d like us to live in the meantime.”

Alistsir quirks half a smile at her, and Aislyn knows she’s won. “You’re infuriatingly persuasive, do you know that?”

“I do, actually.”

“Alright, so let’s say we do stop the Blight,” Alistair muses. “We both survive. We have decades ahead of us. What then?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Aislyn says. Before leaving the Circle, she knew more or less exactly what the rest of her life would look like, and this year has been a straightforward kill the Archdemon or die trying. The thought of an uncertain future is sort of exhilarating, when she lets herself imagine it. “Fight more darkspawn, rebuild the Grey Wardens, maybe have a little cottage?”

“A cottage?” Alistair laughs, sounding lighter than he has since the conversation started. “Could we have a garden?”

“Of course. With roses, and all sorts of herbs, and anything else we want.”

“You know, I’m not actually very good with plants.”

“I’ll teach you.”

“I look forward to it, my dear.” With that, Alistair’s lips find hers, and neither of them find there’s much more that needs to be said.

An Archdemon and an army of darkspawn still stand in the way of any imagined future. But whatever tomorrow brings, tonight they still have a chance, and Aislyn will cling to that with everything she has.

[hermitsandcrafts]

There are a couple black markets in wynncraft so I'm kind of on the fence of where Shade-e-e's would take place.

I think for my wynn au it would be right in Selchar, as it is a trade town, and would be a great business to fund Etho's adventures on the side. Most of the others in the guild are aware of Shade-e-e's but they don't know what is actually sold there.

I like to think that the NHO members know what's actually being sold at shade-e-e's, whereas most of the hermit guild just shrugs towards it.

Even if Etho is never as theatrical about it, he is just a big con-man as Scar is and they have a mutual respect over it.

Also list of people in the Know about shade-e-e's: Beef, Doc, Bdubs, Scar, Joel, and Iskall

X had so much fun w/ that service on hc s7 that I feel he deserves to be a main buyer but doesn't know Etho runs it

Thank you to my mutual @katkat030 for making me rethink and miss shade-e-e's so much that I've included it into my au now